#i hope im just getting old and this is a classic example of old hating newer generation

[katcirce]

Ads using AI generated stock should be illegal. If you can’t be assed to take a picture of your product how the f does the consumer know its even real?

[kirazdaha]

HAHAHAHA Every Turk Family has one of those names and unironically mine does too 🫡 Tell your mother thank you she is a very lovely lady

I know all of the artists you listed below because my dad blasts them on the radio everytime we go out... I call it old people music but hey I never said it was bad, they're awesome and I might have memorised some of the artist's songs from how much I listen to them... Barış Manço is a classic without a doubt! Fun fact my parents were able to go to his concert and got a signed picture with him I will always envy how lucky they were 😭 I love how women in the industry made the most iconic songs I hear them often in weddings too! Or clubs, even though I only went to one once I'm not very fond of them...

My questions were do you have any tips or inspiration with how you draw! I love your art and artstyle and it's honestly what I've been trying to achieve for a while, I can't believe I'm learning how to draw men because of a silly lawyer show it's a disease...

(We are just having a conversation at this point) (I feel like those people who speak out loud in public) (I hope you and anyone who's reading this is having a good day :) be kind to yourself and others everyone)

OH MY GOD i envy them too😭😭 also omg that sounds like heaven to me. the other day i went out partying and i felt sooo out of place because i only knew like 3 songs. omg it was so so bad.

hmmm tips and inspiration…. my number 1 tip would definitely be to look at a lot of other artists you like and analyze what exactly you like. and then try to emulate that in your own work. i try to look for inspiration everywhere - artists online, traditional artists, old masters, 3d artists, even theatre and poetry, etc. - doesnt mean that i am equally inspired by them all (because all these things at once sound so scary and big but they really arent!) but rather, i try to be open for anything and that helps me find inspiration :) 

ill try to explain my thoughts more under the cut because this got long:

for me for example, so far i only posted some art i made that was lined (which, i would say makes up maybe half of the art i draw - i mostly sketch and recently have been building up the courage to paint more) and one of my inspirations is meltow. i think if you go over and check out their art youll definitely see it lol. but also i love the clean look some comics have and my friends tell me my art looks like it belongs in a comic which, i guess yeah :) when it comes to colors and composition i LOVE this artists works. i still have a lot to learn and just looking at their works inspires me so much!!!

i will say i have ALWAYS struggled with lineart. its probably the worst thing in the world to me because it never feels right!!! i like lining on paper with harsh inks and stiff ink nibs that allow for like. very little variety in line weight, but i havent done that in over 3 years (i hope i can get back to that). but yes, something about lineart makes me feel so icky when i use any brush that reacts to the pressure you put on your tablet LOL i just hate it. ugh. i havent been able to work it out.

it was only in 2020 i think that i decided to try it out with a thick brush with some texture and no pen pressure. that probably was the first time i got actual lineart that (at the time) i liked done. and then later on, discovering that other artists are able to achieve beautiful drawings with similar brushes AND that lining with a very simple brush can feel so satisfying helped me evolve a lot! until 2022, i actually wasnt able to give my art the kind of finished look that i wanted. so what people consider my style is really just born out of my limits and working with them. that obviously doesnt mean that i dont try to challenge myself as much as i can. i do and i think everyone should! thats what makes art so fun

if theres any good advice i can give to a beginner itd probaaaaably be. okay this is difficult and i feel like im not really qualified for this. as a hobbyist much less so because a lot of the knowledge and skills i acquired was through an intuitive process (i could never stick with habits such as regular studies or warmups or whatever is meant to be good for you) which definitely isnt the most “productive” way but i mean it doesnt have to be. its just a hobby! you dont have to perfect art. but yes, i would definitely say dont stop drawing. youll always be your harshest critic and at the beginning, and especially if you begin at an older age because youve been training your eye your whole life but your drawing skills for only a relatively short time you will notice a lot of mistakes. and youll think you wont achieve the image you have in your head. and maybe you wont (because youll always strive for more and youll never really be satisfied as an artist bla bla) for a while. but you have to keep drawing! try out different strategies, find out how other artists draw, watch speedpaints, try out different papers and pencils, try everything that makes it more fun and keep going! it will all pay off!! 

in my eyes theres also no point in saying “i should wait till im better to draw this idea i have” because if inspiration strikes you you should use that. even though i still sometimes catch myself thinking like that. you can always redraw things later on!! if theres anything that will keep you drawing you should use that! like getting into shows and games that make me want to draw helps a ton LOL people are not joking when they say getting obsessed with one character is the quickest way to improve. i 100% agree!!! if you saw my first nachos you wouldnt even recognize him. not kidding wow this got long. thank you for the questions though!! i hope some of my rambling can help you. feel free to talk to me whenever!

[simpformoonkight]

Okay, but seriously though, may I have a matchup for FNAF 👁👁? You may ignore/delete this if you’re not up to it! Hopefully this isn’t too much for you either way-

Im nicknamed as Izzy or Belle (I chose two of my nicknames bc I didn’t want to reveal my real name, hope that’s ok 💃🏼🕺🏼), I’m an INFP-T, my Zodiac is Aquarius, my pronouns are They/Them, I have brown eyes/skin/hair and my height is 5’2. I enjoy reading books and reflect on what I liked about them, playing video games, listen to all kinds of music (hip hop, rock/metal, classical, country, etc), and generally hang out in quiet spaces; especially if I’m alone since I’m a major introvert. However I can be quite intense when sharing something I absolutely love if asked by someone-

I hate loud and sudden noises (specifically people who’re yelling/screaming/arguing loudly) and large crowds of people that I get irritated and agitated, but if I had to go out for whatever reason, I come off as completely cold and rude, Though I immediately apologize as best as I can, even If I am forgiven. Additionally, As I am usually shy and quiet, I will crack some jokes and humor, specifically dark humor on just about all topics you can think of once comfortable in whatever place I’m in. I am also considered the “irresponsible older sibling” or “bad example parental figure” in the friend group as I come across as someone completely different: Highly energetic (even late at night I’d be wide awake doing god knows what), Emotionally Intense, Semi Loud in rather small groups, doing the wrong things a parent/sibling should do but in a much safer way (if that makes sense), and come across as mildly egotistical and narcissistic.

Hope that this is enough, but like I said, you have all the rights to delete/ignore this request!

I pair you with.. Withered bonnie!

You both share hating the loud and sudden noise

He loves it when you read books to him

He also enjoys love your music taste

Reminds him when he was at his old pizzeria

Staying in the dark together hehehe—

Loves you dark humor

Like he loves it

But

He is very very concerned

I mean he will try to stop you but he gives up-

As long as you don't hurt yourself

The insomniac couple���

He powers down against his will—

But since he stays in the storage room he will turn on and stays awake—

Annoying freddy together-

“WHO TOOK MY HAT?!” *you two laughing your asses off*

You later blamed it on the toys—

(Rip toy Bonnie)

Toy freddy was trying to calm everyone

But one being chaotic little shit and the other hyping them up—

Everybody's end is coming

And the victims are the ✨bears✨

You eat pizza with chickens

They all love you and will try to get you out of trouble

""try""

But they are happy as long as you and Bonnie are happy

[tepkunset]

@avatarfandompolice​​​ is a blog that likes to misuse progressive language in attempt to make ignorant, racist posts sound more intelligent than they are. While most of their blog consists of arguing about ‘zutara,’ (which I recently learned is a ship name for Zuko and Katara from an anon), there is also a large number of posts and reblogs under the premise of being “hot takes” on how unfair it is to address racism in fandom and in media.

Avatarfandompolice is very sensitive about people pointing out that Avatar: The Last Airbender is not, in fact, flawless. That a show made by two white men featuring Asian and Indigenous characters and influences is fully capable of getting things wrong. That their western colonial views are influences all on their own, and it shows. Rather than listen to fans of colour point out things like these posts for example: [Link] [Link] [Link], avatarfandompolice has decided that such things must simply be fake, and has made multiple posts complaining it. This is not just regular ignorance, this is wilful ignorance. The dismissal of critique simply because they cannot fathom not everyone being able to handle the amount of issues they are freely educating others on, or people holding the ability to like something overall while also pointing out where it could be better.

It is my firm belief that you should never absorb media with an uncritical eye. If this was the case, if people just accepted everything given to them, then we would never see any progress. We need to be able to look back at something and say here’s what we did right, and here’s what we need to do better with.

The argument that A:TLA was made in 2012 and therefore should not be analyzed with a modern understanding of the world is downright hilarious, too. As if we aren’t taught to write literature analysis on books and plays that are centuries old in school. In particular regards to the whole cop thing... if anyone reading this seriously thinks that hate and fear of the police is just a 2020 trend, you can meet me in the pit. I was four years old when I learned how terrifying cops are. If your experiences differ, let me tell you that does not make them universal. And as for all the 20-somethings talking about it today, well, gentle reminder that as said by avatarfandompolice right here, the show aired in 2012. Little 10-year-old kids don’t have social media, (at least I hope they don’t,) and unless they grew up experiencing first-hand police terror, probably were not aware of it at that age. I do not know why avatarfandompolice insults people's ability to grow and learn. I can only guess it’s jealously from their lack of ability to do so.

Now let’s address their defences of whitewashing, which is easily the most backwards reaching I’ve seen on this issue in a while. Primarily their defence relies on four repetitive “points” —

Fake minuscule percentages to downplay the high prevalence and extremity of whitewashing in the fandom

Deflecting the addressing of whitewashing with rapid-fire fake scenarios and claims of “reverse racism” / “blackwashing”

Claiming whitewashing isn’t real because people only care about it with Katara

Claiming that calling out whitewashing in fandom is wrong because it hurts artists

I have only so much as dipped my toes into the A:TLA fandom, and even I have seen a lot of whitewashed fan art. If you do an image search for fan art, I guarantee within the first couple rows of results, there will be in the absolute least, a few examples. The idea of these artworks not substantially lightening skin is also just plain inaccurate. Just from a quick Google search, this is literally the first result for ‘Avatar The Last Airbender Katara fan art’:

Avatarfandompolice is also hyper-focused on the lightening of skin, and seems to be under the impression that this is the only component of whitewashing. I come to this conclusion because when someone pointed out the equal prevalence of depicting these characters of colour with Western European features instead of their actual eyes, noses, etc., they rip a giant turd out of their ass and scrawl the words “but stereotyping” over it. No, not all Asian peoples and Indigenous peoples look the same. The original poster made no such claim of this at all. Avatarfandompolice jumped to this conclusion all on their own... (which really says a lot in itself). It is entirely unrelated to the point. The point being the erasure of how these characters look, in favour of giving them whiter features. And guess what? This does hurt. But I’ll get to that below.

The lack of understanding of whitewashing is on full display when avatarfandompolice talks about “blackwashing”; the idea that colouring characters with darker skin is just like whitewashing. Firstly, there is no such thing as “blackwashing.” “Blackwashing,” “brownwashing,” etc. does not exist because it is a false equivalency to whitewashing. It is a false equivalency to whitewashing because white people are not even in the slightest loosing representation when a white character is re-imagined as a racial minority, whereas when racial minorities are re-imagined as white people, they are taking away from what is already very little representation for us. If we lived in a world where the statistics of representation were not so drastically disproportionate, then there would be something to talk about. But if you are really wanting to support equality, you should focus on equitably supporting those who actually need it, not white people. As for specifically depicting characters like Sokka and Katara with darker skin than what they have in the show, the same applies, (so long as it’s not racebending them as we really shouldn’t be taking representation away from each other, and the artist avatarfandompolice ridicules above has done no such thing,) because colourism also exists within nonwhite communities as well.

As for the fake questions about cosplaying, the answer is really simple: Cosplay however you want, but don’t make pretending to be a different race part of your cosplay. If you want to cosplay Katara, you can do it without painting your skin darker, aka brownface. If you want to cosplay Zuko, you can do it without editing yourself to look East Asian, aka digital yellowface. The racist history behind this is an internet search away, but I suppose that is too difficult for avatarfandompolice to do.

Avatarfandompolice has made multiple claims that people must not really care about whitewashing if they only call it out for Katara. It is laughable at best, and sad at worst, that this is the conclusion they come to, and not the fact that unfortunately Katara just happens to be subjected to more whitewashing than other characters. I assume this is from a mix of her popularity as well as being a WOC and not MOC. This is not to say that whitewashing does not exist with male characters—not in the slightest. Half the images on this “10 fan art pictures of Sokka that are just the best” list from CBR are whitewashed. Only that across fandoms, whitewashing is more prevalent in female characters, by my observations at least.

Finally—and this one pisses me off the most—avatarfandompolice claims that whitewashing is no big deal, but calling out whitewashing is too harmful to justify. How fucking dare you put the feelings of artists who can’t handle critique of their work (that they publicly share) over fans of colour, who are constantly subjected to seeing our identities and looks not being worth respecting. As if it doesn’t imprint on your mind from a very young age how only villains ever have your facial features, because they’re ugly and I guess that means you’re ugly. As if there is something wrong with you. As if respecting you is regarded as extra effort, and not just common courtesy.

Whitewashing is a form of colourism, which is a form of racism. It is the favouritism, unconscious or not, of white features and the erasure of visible characters of colour. It is not fandom drama. It is not being too lazy to focus on “real issues” because it is part of a real issue. It is yet another part of why fandom spaces are so uninviting to POC. We live in a society that favours lighter skin. Corporations make fortunes from selling products to bleach your skin, products to contour your features away or go as far as surgery, all to meet beauty standards set by and influenced by white colonizers. That does not exist in A:TLA, and that’s called refreshing escapism. But it’s hard to escape that when the fandom constantly reminds you otherwise. It is a perfect example of how the classic “just let people enjoy things” complaint is nothing but disguised racism, because it’s only ever said regarding white fans’ enjoyment, at the expense of fans of colour.

None of the characters in A:TLA are white. Redesigning them and recolouring them as if they are, be it out of accident or intent is wrong. If you get called out for it, apologize, learn from the experience and do better going forward. You’ll also improve your art this way.

Beyond excusing whitewashing, avatarfandompolice has overt racist posts as well. A Black fan said they like to headcanon Katara as being partially Black; “I swear Katara was a sister. Im convinced there ain't no way she didn't have some black in her.” Avatarfandompolice jumps in saying “She's literally an Inuit but ok” as if being an Inuk person means Katara can’t possibly also be Black. The OP never claimed Katara was not Indigenous, simply that they also saw her as Black. Black Indigenous peoples exist. Black Inuk peoples exist. It is overtly anti-Black to say otherwise. But what even is the point of talking to avatarfandompolice about that? You know, you would think in trying to put such a front up of caring about the Inuit, they would do the most basic learning of the proper grammatical use of Inuit and Inuk. (As is the case with a great many Indigenous Nations, Inuit is both the Nation and plural. Inuk is singular. “An Inuit” / “Inuits” as avatarfandompolice has used just makes their dressed-up racism all the more pathetic. It’s similar to as if you said “Chinas” instead of “Chinese”.)

But all this is nothing, nothing compared to the worst post I had the displeasure of seeing. In a single post, avatarfandompolice manages to squeeze in insult against low income people, Mexican people, Jewish people, and Black people in a mockery of financial help posts. Absolutely disgusting, childish behaviour from a place of privilege. As someone who has had no option but to make such a post before, more than once, let me fucking tell you that the embarrassment and desperation when in that situation is unparalleled. It is not done lightly. It is done when you are at the last resort of having nothing but hope that the combined generosity of others will be enough to save you and your family. And what adds a whole other level to the odiousness of avatarfandompolice’s post is that they specifically targeting low income minorities to boot. Because we’re all poor beggars, right?

All in all, for someone who prides themselves in calling others ignorant, avatarfandompolice has to be one of the most obtuse fandom blogs I have ever scrolled through. They are as vile as they are pathetic, and my sincere sympathy for anyone who has been unfortunate enough to interact with them. It has been a while since I so strongly recommend blocking someone.

[simptasia]

Cats 2019 😌

Oh, thank you, I’m gonna gush about this movie without even a DROP of that “i knoooow it’s bad” stuff, y’all know that I know. Okay maybe a few drops sneak in, in a back handed way, but MOSTLY this is me gushing and fawning

For context, since i’m putting this in the tag, the prompt was this was somebody gives me a topic and I respond with what i like about it. Like, the opposite of that “send me a thing and i’ll tell you what i hate about it” one

sometimes, like half the time, the CGI actually slaps. like, the close ups are amazing. proper look at some of these cats and it’s like, wow

mr. mistoffelees is precious. he’s my favourite and he’s adorable and his song makes me cry! specifically the bit where old deut is back and it cuts to his happy “oh my gosh i did it” face. triumphant! heck, i just like that whole song, as like the character thing that it is. and yeah anyways, misto is a cutie pie, he’s so shy and awkward and nervous, i wuv him uwuwu

misto is my fave but munkustrap is actually the best character in this movie. i cannot gush enough about robbie fairchild’s acting, singing and dancing in this. he is the backbone of this movie and i adore him! there’s a reason i’ve reblogged a bagillion gifsets of him being so expressionate, he’s so good! you can tell robbie loves being a part of this. and like, very often munku will absolutely be the best aspect of a scene

plus he’s beautiful too. munku, misto, victoria. beautiful kitties

now that i’ve adjusted to the art style, i find these kitties adorable. i love the ears and tails, they make me happy. i like how misto’s tail curls and the movement of everybody’s ears

i really like the music, shoulda mentioned that first. like, when its good, its really good. memory is of course a powerhouse. skimbleshanks is the movie’s highlight, so fucking good. i like mr. misto’s song, fight me. jellicle cats is a fucking bop. rumpleteazer & mungojerrie, I Just Like It. robbie’s performance in... well the whole movie... but also in old deuteronomy is beautiful and soothing. i’ve actually gotten every song in this stuck in my head.... SKIIIIIMBLEEEESHAAAANKS THE RAAAAILWAAAY CAT

legit, making that number include tap dancing was an actual stroke of genius and i cannot praise steven mcrae enough. whomst is also australian, im so proud. i also like skimble’s pants

OH ALSO regarding the music, another thing i love about this movie is that it introduced me to the concept of this musical. i never had any exposure to cats the musical before this movie happened. all i knew before was a couple of references i saw and i had heard memory. but i didn’t know that memory was from cats. and like, think of all the great songs i wouldn’t be aware of if this movie never happened. i’ve also, by extension, become enamoured with the 1998 version of cats too. because of this! i wouldn’t have had a reason to care before! i had no interest! so besides the fact that i actually do like this movie, there’s that

this is true of the stage musical thing, but a lot of cute and fun character moments are gleaned from like background stuff and facial expressions, that sorta thing and i find it really fun to notice stuff (or see somebody else point stuff out). like it’s all very simple but still with some depth, ya know?

the dancing in this is so good. so so good. especially munku because his actor is a magnificent dancer. it’s also funny and cute how misto clearly isn’t as good a dancer as everybody else, so they have him doing clumsy doofy stuff in the background. but im not insulting laurie davidson’s dancing, he’s actually good considering he had to learn for this movie. i just have to praise the dancing in this movie because i’ve seen people say that “the dancing isn’t impressive in this movie because it’s CGI” and i WILL EAT YOU WHOLE. no n no no people HAVE to know that the actors are actually doing that. robbie and francesca are professional ballet dancers, most of the people in this are. the movements are real, they just painstakingly overlayed CGI cat stuff over it. the stuff that isn’t real is like, stuff humans can’t do, like the big fuck off leaps, they used wires for that

Rumpleteazer’s Lesbian Energy Is Palpable

Munkustrap’s Chemistry With Everybody Is Stunning

victoria, misto and munku are OT3 and they’re bicons in my heart

oh i already mentioned the music but i just wanna say i think beautiful ghosts is a lovely song/motif/character thing. i haven’t mentioned victoria much, i think she’s rather sweet in a like endearingly dumb way. and her singing and dancing is, of course, lovely

the sets are practical, they built that! bruh

i have to give my respect to the poor overworked effects artists who worked on this movie. they were pushed so hard and for so long and i think they did a great job and they don’t deserve even a drop of the scorn they have received

i love misto’s jacket, it’s so good. and the pencil as a wand is clever!

the last scene is refered to as a living hell by a lot of people but i love it because just. watch munku’s face the whole time. so good. just watch munkustrap, he makes everything better

ooh on that note, i like how they made it so munk lives in a flat thats literally right by the junkyard. i find that a nice touch and fitting

i like the nuzzles <3 (furthermore i love how misto is so much taller than victoria so he has to bend down so far for a couple of those nuzzles)

i dunno, you can tell most of the people doing this were like really into it, like really loved doing this movie. like these performances are good, y’all! and like, these cats come across as so happy to hanging out and dancing and being together (for the most part, there is bickering and... cattiness too) that it’s like infectious. it makes me smile!

and there’s like a bagillion little things here and there that i like, like my list could go on even more. for example, shout out to that one cat that kept smiling when skimble was spinning upwards into the air (due to being kidnapped) probably under the assumption that skimble can just fucking do that djksakjdsa

so yeah i can’t exactly call this a Good Movie but i can genuinely call it a movie i enjoy, that i adore even, because i’ve never liked anything ironically in my life! also im autistic and this has become my special interest, so choo choo, this trains a chugging. i’m having a lot of fun, and i think that’s good enough

and i feel like it’s already on it’s way to becoming the world’s most expensive cult classic. like, friends getting together and watching it and having a good time, for one reason or another. and i like that. i hope in like 5 to 10 years time, people are gonna be endeared and nostalgic for cats 2019, cuz that’d be neat

[youcancallmemeimei]

2, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 15, 16, 17, 18, 22, 23, 25, 30, 31, 32, 33, 37, 38, 39, 40 sorry for a lot of Qs!

Hahaha what a curious kitty cat but its okay, thats what this is all about right?

2. are you single or taken?

Single and its okay like this i guess haha

4. do you think its ok to separate the artist from the art?

Yes and no, and it depends what you mean by separate haha but i'll go with the deeper one if thats okay? yes its okay to separate the artist from the art because sometimes when for example, i paint something during a depressive episode i might not feel like that anymore, so that piece of art represented me at that time but not anymore, but at the same time that used to be me so i cant deny that, i think art is not something you can judge putting the artist aside, because art comes from what's in the heart, but our hearts change so even tho we might have done something at some point it the artist you are seeing now might not be the one who painted/drew/sculpted/wrote/etc a certain piece a while ago, they might be two completely different people... idk...

5. how many accounts do you have?

1 for the public haha

9. favorite brand of clothing?

Fast fashion: Zara

Luxury: Prada, Miu Miu and Burberry haha

10. name a dog

Nube if its she (and white), or Gustavo if it's a he.

15.what’s a question do you constantly get asked?

Are you single? How old are you? and i'm so tired ask me something else when you see me come on, ask me whats my favourite fast food restaurant, ask me why do i smell like strawberries, ask me who's my biggest inspiration, a quote that changed my life, not if i'm in a relationship or not, like (? are you planning on changing that? you have no chance, get outta here!

16. if you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

I wouldn't get anything tbh

17. google the top song from the year you were born

The number one is absolutely disgusting so im not going to name it but id say one that i really like from that year is "You're still the one" by Shania Twain

18. rant about your favorite musician

I might seem like the most boring person but i dont have a favourite musician but i've been listening to Daft Punk since i can remember, but on the other hand classical music and Glenn Miller have always been around too so yeah

22. if you could see any concert tonight what would you choose?

From current artists i'd really like to see any kpop groups because those concerts look absolutely hectic and all the good fun.

23. if you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

procrastinating, and yeah we all do, but the problem is that i can do it and i still get my stuff done, i've convinced myself that i work better under pressure and my ideas flow better when i'm in a rush, so i tend to procrastinate a lot because as i said, I STILL GET EVERYTHING DONE and i hate it :(

25. what’s something you can’t stop buying?

Water bottles hahaha

32. how old do you get mistaken for?

I don't really know, but people usually ask for my id or don't let me go places because they say i look underage

33. what do you think about a lot

everything

37. have you ever been called down to the principals office?

No, i'm a good girl, my bio says it, nothing but the best behaviour always hahaha

38. post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

Anything Jisoo or Joy wear

39. describe your aesthetic

I dont really know actually... do i have one? can you see a pattern? please let me know how you'd describe it haha

40. answer with one of your ‘school memes’ (inside jokes you have with your class/grade) with no explanation

Regina George

I hope you got to know me a little bit better haha sorry if theres some missing q's maybe i don't want to answer some or i just forgot haha

have a lovely week <3 <3 <3 <3

[lints41]

post-botw headcanons

i am just rambling under the cut. there is so much.

FIRST OFF: i feel like link will be more lighthearted, now? meanwhile zelda is incredibly serious. i feel this way because link has lowkey been alive for like... months? generally? it depends? more or less? and that whole time has been just. relearning/remembering his best friend and wanting her to be safe and doing everything in hopes of getting to her and hearing her and all that, the WHOLE TIME, and NOW... she’s safe!! and alive!! and physically with him!! and they just defeated a giant disgusting screaming glob of hate and LIVED! and now it’s over! finally holy fuck!! meanwhile zelda is seeing all of the destruction of her kingdom at once again. um so i feel like at least for a while he’d be like... Let me show you around! Let me show you my friends! Check out all of these Koroks! Meet Sidon! Come see Terry Town!! It’s all beautiful!! and she’s like “omg yes yes... ok ok real quick...” and he’d be like Look guys isn’t she beautiful!! and she’s like “OKOK *GRABS HIS HANDS* ALRIGHHT” anyway yeah

i want zelda to live with link in hateno village. okay?? OKAY??? where else is she going to go. and listen she would LOVE that freedom, at least i imagine she should. she wears link’s old hylian clothes as pajamas and sleeps in his bed while he sleeps on the floor (his decision) until he convinces bolson to make him a bed. and bolson’s like YOU FOUND THE ONE??? OF COURSE I WILL SUPPORT TRUE LOVE and link’s like N- Um nono Uh- and bolson’s like I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT LET’S GO KARSON 

zelda cannot sleep. she always wakes up in the middle of the night and either goes downstairs and covers the dining table with books and wakes link up with her light/her talking to herself. and link’s like Hewwo? and she’s like “im sorry go back to sleep!!” Or she leaves at night because she wants to go for a walk and clear her head. and at first link was like. worried and looking for her and then just waited outside all night for her to come home. she’s like “don’t wait for me. i am a grown woman i can be out on my own, its the safest its ever been” and hes like. MMMMMMm and then respects her and stays home n just worries about her when he tries to sleep

zelda cut her OWN hair. chopped it off. link sees it the next day or something and she doesn’t bring it up she’s just like “you ready to start the day??” and he’s like ... :-) Yes.

OK. BIG ONE. LINK TRAINS HER. FOR SURE. OK?? she’s like “link my powers are growing weaker and i’ve never been able to rely on them, PLS train me.” and he’s like You sure?? and she’s ilke “Yes.” and he’s like OK!! and then they start training together every morning. she sets up the schedule like “ok we’re gonna get up at 6am and run and then do sword practice for this long and bow practice for this long and blah blah blah” and he’s like Oh god. Okay. she’s very bad at first. she’s like “it can’t be that hard, i suppose we’ll have to spend a month or so on each weapon before i can be confident....” and then the swords are heavy and the bows are tight and she’s like DAMN IT and gets very frustrated. throws the bow on the ground and goes inside and link gives her space n stays outside. but she slowly gets better and training is a Huge bonding thing for them and it’s great. and she gets more confident because having that Physical Power that she can rely on is SO much better to her than her other power. so she’s happier and stronger and healthier and more playful and relaxed and it’s great (this is an advertisement for working out)

ok that’s the main stuff. now i will go into more specific, silly stuff. 

they eat dinner together when they can. they eat at the dinner table and link LOVES seeing her on the other side and glowing while she eats and he’s like :-) <3 and also, since he uses his hands, it doesn’t matter HOW MUCH food is shoved in his mouth, he can always speak and he gets hyped up and silly with her so he’s like SIGNSIGNSIGNSIGN and she’s like HAHAHASLOW DOWN (good happy times.)

the children LOOOOVE ZELDA. she’s a PRINCESS!! she sits and tells them stories and they follow her around and the girls want to be with her all the time. she’s nervous around kids though and is unsure of the attention, especially at first, so she’s like UHH HAHA YESYES... UM GO PLAY WITH LINK... OK... but eventually she’s like... i have the power to give these kids the childhood i never had .... and then starts doing her best to give them attention and show them love LINK is GREAT with the kids. all the kids love link too for different reasons he runs around and plays tag with them and watches them cook and cheers them on and gives them piggy back rides. i have an image of him with a blue flame (if you’ve never gone through town with a blue torch in hand then please do) and theres a kid on his shoulder and one clinging to his leg and two jumping at his feet. very cute. and he loves them, he loves making them laugh and teaching them sign and hearing their stories and all that. i think it’s classic for links to be good with kids.

i want them to be able to travel from shrine to shrine while holding hands or something. and he does it with her without thinking... grabs her hand and pulls out the sheikah slate like Why Walk? and she’s like “huh? HUH???” and they show up at another shrine and she’s like WHAT??? WHAT. WHAT and then researches it forever

also i imagine him being bad at spelling (of course) and i also headcanon that he doesn’t speak So. i imagine that like... ok. for example:

zelda: “did you see anything? before you.. died?” link: I can’t remember... zelda: “oh i’m sorry i don’t know that sign...” link: ! R-E-M-B-E-R zelda: ............R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R....? link: No, like... *imitates remembering* Remember. R-E-M-B-E-R. zelda: .........”link i think you mean reMEMber?” link: ? .......................Oh god OK i think that’s all i’ve got right now. lol. if you read this then thank you

[luminousbeansarewe]

what are your takes/version of how the sequel trilogy went down? because i also have my own version in my head, not.... that, but im really interested in the ideas other people have had for it

hoo boy there’s a lot of ground to cover here lmao i will try to keep them as short as i can... i also enjoy multiple versions of events and outcomes for the sequels as long as they’re in-character so i’m not trying to say no other version of the sequels is good or cool bc only a sith deals in absolutes amirite? (i won’t apologize for that dumb joke.) first the jumping-off points:

first of all, i fully support Force-sensitive Finn. even if he didn’t become a full-blown Jedi, if the entire concept of the Jedi was reforged and we don’t see him become the kind of Jedi we saw in the prequels (more on that later), i see him as someone who was attuned to the Force in a way that is similar to how i conceive of Barriss; empathetic to the suffering and joy of others. this would drive him to defect from the Empire and fear it, too. i also saw him becoming a reluctant leader for the rebellion, and there’s a GREAT fic which i’ll link here that riffs on the idea that he creates a spark within the stormtrooper ranks and more and more of them begin to defect... which i love

Rey being a nobody is cool to me. the ONE character moment where she became super relatable for me was when she realized how frightened she was of her own Force abilities. but i don’t think she has to be the legacy of Palps to have that. she doesn’t need supercharged powers to be spooked by them in a post-Jedi Order world where the most recent memory anybody has of the Force is Vader. (also Rey being a Kenobi seems more out of character for Obi-Wan than anything else lol he was pretty committed to the ways of the Order even after they were destroyed, plus he already had one kid to furtively watch over... just imo). this also ties into my expansion on the Force.

Poe being not a carbon copy of Han. i think Leia looked after him, found him somehow after she sent Ben to the Jedi Academy and was a motherly figure in his life. i like the idea that he was a little shit, and she’s the one who taught him to turn his reactive defiance of authority into bravery when fighting for the rebels. i think he looked up to her, wanted to be a leader like her. i saw him in the position of generals like Akbar by the end, as he learns to balance risk-taking with steady leadership. I wanted to see that growth, how those leaders are formed, see Leia get to impart her wisdom to someone. (also i fully support Finn/Poe and Finn/Rey/Poe, i’m not a committed shipper so i’m down with no romance at all between them but those ships are choice af and Stormpilot is all Oscar Isaac wanted anyway, so...) plus can u imagine the dichotomy of Ben the fallen son with Poe, the “adopted” son who became what Ben couldn’t? the guilt of Leia for not knowing how to teach her son about the Force, doing better half-raising a nobody who had the same shitty attitude as Han when they met but no Force ability? THIS IS JUICY CHARACTER CONTENT

Rose was given cheesy lines to introduce an important topic: that fighting is all well and good but throwing away your principles defeats the purpose of the fight in the first place (an important theme in the Clone Wars era, too.) she was there to be the voice of the truly little people in the gffa, who we don’t hear much about in the other trilogies. Finn’s sensitivity puts him at risk of the sorrow-to-hate arc i described for Barriss; Rose is there to be the empathy that sustains hope rather than becomes a crushing weight. i love the idea that she might rally volunteers from blue-collar places (like... Lothal, for example?) and spearhead the notion that the New Republic should be very different from the old one, calling out the fact that working conditions didn’t change with the shift from republic to empire and the First Order simply took it to an extreme that left her and her sister with nothing else to lose.

Ben Solo, hoo boy. so here’s the thing, we don’t KNOW Ben Solo. we were expected to want him to be redeemed because he was the son of Han and Leia, and that’s it. that’s lazy as fuck. him killing Han in the first movie (if it happened it should have been in movie #2, that’s how fucking second acts work) was an excuse to shock people, subvert the ‘i can’t kill my own father’ thing, and make sure we knew he was “evil” even though we’re supposed to also want a redemption arc? you have to read the Rise of Kylo Ren comics to learn that he was a) hounded by the voice of Snoke in his head from childhood, manipulated by it, which is horrific bc it’s like grooming... or b) that he felt HUGE pressure as a legacy Force-user to save the galaxy, lead the New Jedi Order, etc. these are much more empathy-generating and we should have learned them in TFA. echoes of Anakin much? which is why i think him being redeemed in a way other than self-sacrifice (which made sense for Vader given his long history of being a terrible person, knowing it was too late for him in the end, and really just wanting to save his son rather than “become good again”) is more interesting than him just falling (which is too much the same as the prequels.)

it should have been Finn’s call, a moment of Truth that held the balance of Finn as either falling prey to darkness or learning forgiveness, whether or not Kylo got redeemed. Finn and Rey working together to get to that point while Rose and Poe took on the military aspect of the Big Finale would have been great. Finn with a lightsaber to Kylo’s throat, feeling the temptation to murder him instead of making him face what he’s become in a meaningful way? Rey trying to urge him away from darkness as she’s been tempted before, but this is the first time Finn’s really been tested, and he was the one who so often reminded her of her own humanity? Rey calling up Rose’s point of creating a new paradigm instead of recreating the old one, of Poe’s growth or Leia’s willingness to take Ben back showing it’s possible? shiiiiiiit

the rest is going under a cut!

SO... given those things as a basis...

there being no scene where Force-ghost Anakin bops Kylo on the head (but you know, more subtly and with gorgeous metaphor ofc) was a travesty. we needed some version of that, also imo that reaffirms that Anakin was the chosen one... as him redirecting his grandson away from that path would be restoring hella balance

Snoke should have had his own fucked up backstory, if he was even there at all. a dark sider fucking with Ben Solo is reasonable to me, but Snoke could have been someone who looked up to Palps as much as Kylo supposedly looked up to Vader. that would have been interesting... maybe there are multiple “nobodies” who are being touched by the Force, just like there always were in the prequels era, but some are going dark with no Jedi to try to convince them otherwise? or, maybe Snoke’s life was ruined by the Empire and he chose to become the beast that harmed him, whereas Kylo becomes the version where you think you want to do that but then realize that it’s just as bad and you still have empathy and regret what you’ve done?

Thrawn being the main military antagonist, since they couldn’t be arsed to make Hux into anything but a sniveling baby fascist (despite his really upsetting backstory of an abusive father, also found in the comics... noticing a trend here?). Thrawn was already established and beloved in the legends. why would you not use him. whY?? he’s like a foil for Tarkin. contention between him and the Force-users in charge (Snoke and Kylo) would have been VERY interesting, esp with the character of Thrawn in the new canon seeing the Empire as a ‘necessary evil’ and now maybe having the potential to make it into something else? how’s JOINING WITH THE NEW REPUBLIC for a subversion of the classic tropes, Rian?????? you fucker????

if Thrawn’s history is “too storied” for a bunch of cowards to "fit” into a new movie trilogy, invent another antivillain to take Thrawn’s place whose history is a little more concurrent with the sequel era... you cowards

Luke fucking off after his failure isn’t out of character IMO. he was THE STRONGEST JEDI EVER and his star pupil still fell? maybe he broke under the same pressure Ben did. maybe that’s what allows him to reach back out towards Kylo and reconnect, admitting his failure. i want to hear more about him cutting himself off from the Force bc i LOVE KOTOR 2 and Kreia, but maybe that’s too much for one trilogy to delve into meaningfully, i dunno

Han fucking off after Ben wrecked the temple isn’t OOC either. i think Han was always a little frightened of the Force, the way many non-sensitives are. I think he was critical as a father, because he was critical of himself and Han is the king of projection. i wanted more of the dysfunctional relationship between him and Ben.

if Kylo kills Han, the scene needs to show more of the fact that Kylo actually regretted it, which Snoke only alludes to in TLJ, foreshadowing his future. i rewrote Han’s death scene for a friend and got a lot of good feedback about it so maybe i’ll post it here sometime. i can get behind a version where he doesn’t die, too, i just haven’t fleshed it out in my own head.

i like the idea that the Jedi Order needed to be remade, and that Luke saw the failure of the old order when he saw Ben turn like so many of the Jedi in the Order did. i like that Rey and Finn might spearhead this, and maybe Kylo’s role is to know the dark side intimately enough now that he can actually teach how it works, how to deal with it... how inevitable its temptation is. because...

in this canon, i don’t think the Force has light or darkness. i think it’s Force-users who do. it is their internal landscapes which cause them to “fall” or be redeemed or not, after all. Finn can attest to the same, so can Rey and Luke... so like, all the Jedi need DBT therapy or something i guess. lmao hold the dialectic, you nerds

the Force has shown time and time again that it cannot be “balanced” so maybe it is ourselves who need to become balanced instead

the Force is chaos, a never-ending series of colliding butterfly effects that to us will always and inevitably be seen as turmoil, cause and effect on a cosmic scale. if you drink too greedily of its power, or try to exert total control over it, by its nature it will consume you because it is beyond your mortal ken. whatever you hunger for, the force will give you more and more of it until you are overwhelmed, drowning in it

this is why peace was a central teaching of the Jedi... peace, the antithesis of chaos, which can only ever be created from within, the eye of the storm which must be sought time and time again

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk? i’m always down to hear other people’s ideas for these characters tbh. and always down to get more into these topics if you want to know more... esp as it relates to the failure of the Jedi Order, or KOTOR 2 and Revan and Kreia, or OF COURSE my OCs because Sol has a very interesting relationship with the Force.

thank you for this ask lordimperius!! ^_^

[brighterluv]

10 for 10 for 10 Tag Game

Tagged by my love, @cuddlememerrick  Rules: Answer the 10 questions, write your own 10 questions then tag 10 people!

What was the first video game console you remember playing?: it was the really old gameboy that didn’t even have its own light like if you wanted to play in the dark you needed to but an attachment. 

Favorite book?: Aimee I hate you for asking this. I read so much and can’t keep track of anything anymore YIKES. but! there’s a great memior called “Because We Are Bad” by Lily Bailey about her journey with OCD which is important to me as someome with OCD and similar experiences to her. I need people to know what OCD is really like....so read it.

What does your dream home look like?: OOF ok nothing like giant, but a decent house with enough room for me, my s/o (assuming i have one), some pets, and an office/studio for me and that hopeful s/o. lots of natural light, open concept, funky decor and colors, PLANTS, decent backyard for aforementioned pets. lovely patio space. the studio would be for some cool photo stuff and post production etc. idk man im 20 and never planned to live past 16.

Who was your first concert and your last?: first concert: Green Day, I was like 7 years old lol. most recent: All Time Low NP anniversary show in December 

Why did you join Tumblr?: some new friends i met at camp had one and they were like you should really join!!! even tho they were deep in 1d stuff and i didnt care about any of that so i just memed until i found an interest. but i was like 12

What is something good that has happened to you recently?: FUCK MAN WHAT THE WORLD IS ENDING but I guess getting an internship for the summer (that may or may not still happen depending on the COVID-19 situation) but its my first internship!! (this happened in like February lol) I also got a 98% on an exam before school imploded!!

What’s your go to comfort outfit?: Listen...I have outfits specifically for when im feeling lazy but still want to look decent. One of which makes me look like every dude on campus (T-shirt with a zip up hoodie over it and a jean jacket over THAT, black probably ripped jeans, and converse) I also have one where it’s a mens flannel over a band tee with jeans and converse but the flannel is tied at the bottom

Do you believe in aliens?: statistically they HAVE to exist. the concept of infinity is so powerful and the universe is infinite....so there is no way there aren’t aliens. 

Favorite classic Disney film?: I don’t know tbh. I watched them all maybe once or twice when I was a wee one but haven't since and don’t remember much of them. I think the story of Mulan is the coolest tho

Favorite thing from a different era?: I am a fashion nerd and a fashion history nerd so I love the style (even tho so many designers and brands were nazis so that makes me big sad). I also just like the general aesthetic of certain periods (art deco, flapper culture, 50s diners and cars....) the only bad parts to me is all the racism and sexism and homophobia and antisemitism and bad mental health care and......basically i like the idealized version of the past that is shown through movies and stuff

Here are my 10 for yall:

1. What skill would you love to have but don’t?

2. Dream travel itinerary?

3. If you could succeed and live very comfortably with ANY career, what would that be?

4. What do you think is the best thing about you? (in these trying times we wanna be positive)

5. You get $1million BUT you literally wear your emotions on your sleeve. Example, you are at a friend’s performance and “BORED” is displayed and glowing on your arm or outer most layer of clothes, no hiding it. Would you take the money?

6. What is one album you never get sick of listening to?

7. Favorite platform to consume video content (youtube, hulu, netflix, etc) and what is your favorite show/channel on that platform?

8. If you could be best friends with any celebrity, who would it be and why?

9. What was the most memorable/bizarre dream you’ve ever had?

10. Favorite hobby/pastime? 

TAGGING (but dont feel obligated): @edge-oftonight @knucklxpuck @eukelades @icecave @damydevito @takethistyourgrave @glowysheen @webrakeforcows

Hope yall are doing ok during all this craziness!! much love

[obannthepunished]

well that backstory drop was everything that I had hoped for pretty much I took some pretty long notes imo?? (extra note: i take these for personal use theres just so much shite im sorry) Anyway I tried to transcribe most of the molly scene so its probably spelled like SHIT cause i was typing on one laptop and looking at the other

that outta the way, heres my notes from this week

Mollymauk knows Exactly whats fucking happening ((Additional later note: No he does not. Fuck.) "its lucien from two years ago" "this is my nightmare just go with it" (high pitched) "I'LlL eXpLaIn LatEr" So very very very stressed and panicky

Tabaxi: I'm sorry for using your old name. "Nonagon." Jesus CHRIST FUCKING MOLLY "we watched you die" Cree? Kree? Pronounced that way. Organisation name "Tomb Takers"

The gentleman: a (pale?) teal-skinned, dark haired character leather gloves + black hair (shoulderish length) "Perpetually sweating" ew lmao. dampness. (Uhhhh water genasi???? >This isnt canon just based on what I know?) Long table

Kree (sp) takes blood from them as collateral, can track with it? Beau to Fjord: ... Can I borrow a tusk

"Lets gamble" - The gentleman, gambling with Fjord 50 gold buy in, "If I win, you're mine. If you win, we do business." Bets up to 300gp each (600 total) Fjord wins. Oh jesus CHRIST. That was so stressful RIP the chance of me sleeping again.

Kara is there. shes been informing about the knights of requital

Molly + Beau associated with the murder of the high ricter. "I can make this investigation... go away (fwoosh)" " favour in kind" a wall with a purple light and an abandoned research facility. The Gentleman wants them to check it out. "Find a way in. Enquire. Seek and clear the space of any dangers. Hostile creatures. Return with any of your findings."

Nott "would you pass a test for us" two vials of alcohol, one of acid, reasonably the same colour. "this is alcohol. This is alcohol. THIS ONE is Acid." (drinks the fucking acid) (ooc excitement OOOOOH, THAT IS SO BALLER)

Beau (gives Kara a wink) (to Fjord) "Deal with that later" "Boutta say the same"

"Undead ghost things" and Taliesin and Ashley share just like a Look (Molly's thing is undead iirc??? and fiend? idk i need to do research)

Beau deliberately fucking up nonagon is very very funny. Nonotech. Nantucket.

A constant lucien stream of "we'll talk about this later" and "It's Lucien in this bar"

Yasha "i think im just looking for answers for something and i dont know if i recieved any more" Caleb insisting theres no pressure to tell them things when Nott is pressing for information. I love Caleb. Hes wonderful. Someone smooch him.

Caleb: we have been getting our hands dirty are you sure you want to get your hands dirty with us? yasha: thats all I like to do, my friend Lucien: It's a sight to behold! (followed by That Taliesin Grin. you KNOW the one.)

Yasha is from Xhorhas. I can't spell. You know what im aiming for lulu spell check it later. Southern parts of Xhorhas, not where the assassin(s) were from. Has been in the empire for "about a year and a half" ("when did i meet you?" to Molly.)

Hes so stressed. Its so wonderful. I love this.

They go to talk to Kara shes sharpening blades. She fuckin hates xhorhasians. So does the gentleman apparently. Worked for him for 8 years. relationship of convenience. "You got a nice face" - Beau to Kara. "Looks like we're in bed one way or the other" Kara jokes about working together Beau: I mean... Fjord: Leave that one alone. Leave that one alone. Beau: ...Okay.

Drop of the greatsword is "moontouched"?????

(re the xhorhasian longsword) It's taller than Nott Yasha: (in the voice when things are adorable) It's taller than Nott? Lucien: Many things are taller than Nott.

The ogre is 10 or 11 feet tall. Thats taller than my room. My room is only like 8 feet tall.

Caleb introduces himself with his full name. I dont think this has ever happened. EDIT: @madnessiseverything

caleb has actually introduced himself with his full name a few times if i recall. for example with the knights of requital (i think??) and back in trostenwald comes to mind immediately

I’m still learning to be an encyclopaedia again thanks friend Jester uses the wand of smiles. "Kutha" is the Ogre's name (Late afternoon they leave)

"dohecadoohickey"

theyre in Molly + Fjords room iirc cause Horus?(Sp) is in there (He leaves to Beau and Jester’s room wholst they talk)

Beau "i have dated way too many Luciens before" (Also applioes to marisha)

"why do you have so many names" "I woke up without any names or any past buried in the ground two years ago" "my firs memory my oldest memory is dirt in my face underground" Zone of truth is cast!!! Pass: Beau, Fjord Fail: Nott, Molly, Yasha, Caleb Molly has No Fucking Idea who he is. Gods the fandom called this. "some asshole got buried in the dirt. FUCK HIM." disassociates Lucien with Molly. Got more tattoos. days between waking up and the carnival. barely speaking. woke up alone. Cakeb: are you a good guy? Molly:..... I'd like to think so. "a few months after I came to, I started noticing I could do (blood hunter) things." (Ices a dagger) He really doesnt wanna know who he used to be. GOD I CALLED THE FLASHBACKS. A fuckup: Mollymauk finds someone in the group super attractive Yasha: "yes there are people here that i think are very attractive and charming but that doesnt mean I'll act on that." mollys just holdiong a glowing bedpost. radiant glow. "i am told, though i dont really remember this part, that I only said the word empty over and over for the first week" can you imagine how it would feel to not feel anything about anything that has happened to you so far? everyone but beau: no beau: yes. Molly:... why am i not surprised. "The Moonweaver"??? ooh son. "never trust the truth. Truth is vicious. The truth thinks that you owe it something. I like my bullshit. It's good, it's happy, It makes other people happy." "do you know who the moonweaver is?" "No." "Good. The swords are cheap carnival glass."

Moonweaver is elven deity, god over the night and shadow, music, not one of the approved religions. not a betrayer god, is inspiration for classic art, caretaker of evening trysts.

fjord: its you thats special, not your swords "i feel tinges of things on occasion. Nothing I like." "i may be a liar but I'm never a betrayer." Oooh molly actually somewhat believes in fortune telling. "I left EVERY TOWN better than I found it." Snake with red eye on palm and opposite side. Eye in floral arrangement. Crimson. Same place he bleeds on his neck in the peacock feathers. "i need to protect you snd myself from whatever that is. Its a wildcard." "I feel like youre fretfully ignorant and full of platitudes but I sstill like you" - Molly to Nott

oh on the undead again- it is Molly's thing, I was right. Wispy orb things haunt areas where they seek life force. Will-o-wisps. Thats hot. Lmao cause theyre often fire??? LMAO SON.

molly get suncomfortably close to fjord as he bonds with the new blade and puts hand on his chest "The power was in you... all along. SEE YOU AT BREAKFAST! :D"

Beau: (asks Caleb to buy her something sharp she can throw) DO NOT *FUCK ME* HERE CALEB, DO NOT FUCK ME. Caleb: ... Not interested, but-

"Zemnians dont tell jokes. They experience only pain." (OOC Sam its just funny)

Pumat Prime a little surlier than the others.

Yasha rocking that fucked charisma <3

Fjord BUYS THE FUCKING 800GP CLOAK? JESUS. Yasha pays 80GP (10gp discount) for 2 healing potions Caleb buys ink + parchment.

Yasha assumes Fjord's making fun of her awwwww!!! Hes being genuone complimenting her haggling skill bless.

Caleb is so 100% aware how FUCKING gay Beau is for yasha honestly. theres no way. (Additional later note confirmed in a gag mostly OOC, in character but not? in canon)

Beau playing the parental figure to horus, did you get everything? go pee one more time before you leave!

Molly sees guards and splits from the group to hide at The LEaky Tap.

they put a bag over Horus' head. its funny. Creepy card dealer gnome "dweeze"??

Beau and Caleb holdin hands. so fuckign adorable. "beau doesnt like me much." (beau holds him so he doesnt fall) ((NOTE @ ME this is a Good One. Think about it.)

Order in tunnel Fjord, Yasha, Molly, Jester, Beau, Nott, Caleb

"do you know how to drive a boat" Nott lmao

This weeks Nott stance from lulu: like 5/10 (About the same as last week)

[niel-trbl]

Like We Used To

Ex-lover!Kang Daniel AU

Note: it’s been awhile since i last updated. it’s been pretty tough, especially with the events happening around us so i decided to write something to keep my mind off of things. i sincerely hope everyone is doing okay and if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always drop me an ask.

you were scheduled to go on Master Key - one of the rising new variety shows

you, being a rookie in the industry, immediately said yes when your manager asked if you were keen to join the show

you were so excited since this is finally the time where you can mingle with other idols and celebrities

on your way to the Master Key village, you even asked your manager who will be present for filming so that you could mentally prepare yourself

the moment you got to the venue, you immediately went around and started greeting the cast members and staff

just as you were about to head back to your room, you heard a familiar voice called out your name

“it cant be...”

this was when you wished that you were wrong

you turned around and saw Kang Daniel walking towards you with a grin

you felt butterflies fluttering in you why does he still have that effect on you

while everyone knew Kang Daniel as the nation’s pick, you knew him as Danik, your ex-lover

both of you were very good friends then and you also were each other’s first love

however, it was during his first year of being a trainee when you broke up

despite it being your decision to break off the relationship, you always wished that you could be a little more selfish and have him to yourself

but you wanted the best for him and in order for him to succeed, you mustn’t be a distraction to him (words said by his manager then) hence the break up

seeing him now, in front of you, brought back so many memories of your relationship

“hey, are you filming today too?” he asked

“um yeah i am. i didnt know that you’re here,”

“yeah, well it was kinda last minute so...”

silence filled the space, despite the crazy number of people who were on set

you heard your name rolled off his tongue again - how much you missed hearing his voice and craved for his touch

“i miss-“ before Daniel could continue, your manager called out for you to get to hair and makeup which you were secretly glad

you were this close to dropping everything and holding him again

no one ever knew of your history with Daniel

you hid it like a well kept secret

in order for you to move on from him, you need to get rid of everything that reminded you of him, including the memories of your relationship which you refrain yourself from telling others

however, Daniel often spoke of you - for example in an interview, they often asked how he would treat his significant other and he always spoke of the things he did for/with you

like how he would help you put on your shoes and calling you ‘kid’ as a term of endearment

but he never mentions your name so no one knew, apart from his close members who knew who you were by name

the staff were still getting ready to start filming so you looked around the set on your own

“i believe we havent met. I’m Ong Seongwoo,” he approached you with a soft smile

“i’m _______” you shook his hand

“_______? as in-“ you suddenly saw Daniel standing by you

“yes hyung, _______ from the new group,”

classic Daniel, you knew he always cant stand it when guys approached you, even if they were his friends

before you could say anything, the staff gathered everyone to commence the filming session

after they had presented the keys, you moved on to join your assigned groups

luck was really not on your side that day

all you wanted was to be away from Daniel but instead, you got placed in the same group as him

Daniel, on the other hand, was relieved to know that you were in the same group

“dont worry, i’ll help you along the way,” he whispered to you

he always stood beside you throughout the session and took care of you

during this time, you wished that you could hate Daniel but he made it so hard

he was still that sweet and kind boy you met many years ago - the one that made you melt everytime you hear him call your name

the feelings that you surpressed kept resurfacing

it didnt help that the hosts kept bringing up your past

“oh? _______ and Kang Daniel actually knew each other from before? how did you me?”

“we were schoolmates actually. we were pretty close friends,” he answered for you

you were glad that he was the one that answered, if it were you, it wouldve been word vomit - bringing up the good old times you missed

as the filming session went by, you have gotten more and more comfortable with everyone but with an increasing amount of fluttering feelings as you interacted more with Daniel

“now for our last game, 2 members of each team will have to jump rope together. the team with the higher number of jumps wins this whole round!”

somehow this show has a way of bringing up your old memories

jump ropes was something you and Daniel had always done - it was your way of ‘exercising together” and both of you were really good

Daniel, of course remembering this, immediately volunteered the both of you to do the challenge

before you knew it, you were standing in front of him and placing your hands on his BROAD shoulders, getting ready to start jumping

both of you kept jumping, you couldnt look up at him at all and were this close to losing the momentum

“________ just look at me, it’s gonna be okay,” he whispered in between of the jumps

the moment you locked eyes with him, you lost your balance and tripped over the rope, resulting to a sprained ankle

everyone stopped and quickly got the paramedics who were on stand by to aid you

thank goodness it was the last segment so they quickly wrapped up filming so that you could get proper care

while you were icing your ankle in the sick bay, you heard a knock on the door

you were expecting your manager but it was Daniel who came

“hey i just wanna apologise-“

“no no no, it was my fault! i lost my balance and yeah you know, clumsy old me,” you quickly looked away and directed your focus to the ice pack on your ankle

“no. the ________ i know is never this clumsy and most definitely wont freak out when they look at me. what’s even weirder is that you were so uncomfortable around me today. what’s wrong?”

Daniel knew you like an open book, you knew you couldn’t escape

“this is gonna sound stupid but i am still in love with you. i know it’s been so long and iwas the one who broke up with you, but i just keep thinking about you - how youre doing and coping with all this? and the way you treated me today, it makes me think that you still have feelings for me. i just- i dont know. i really missed you”

both of you sat in silence once again

you cant believe that you blurt all of that out, now he’s gonna think that you’re crazy

but instead, he embraced you in his arms, combing his fingers through your hair to calm you down, like how he used to

“i still do have feelings for you. i missed you, like crazy. you have no idea. everyday, i wish i could find you and tell you to take me back. i tried to find out where you were but i couldnt,”

his hands held your face gently as you made eye contact - this time you didnt back away

“let’s get back together. i miss the days when we were together. the days when we were happier and better. it drives me crazy that im not with you,”

“but, remember what happened then? what if-“

“no ‘what if’s. we’re gonna make it work, i know we can,” he kissed your forehead

[lastskiss]

My LA Reputation Secret Sessions Story :D

(i realize that this post is long so i decided to break it into fun little sections with names inspired by friends episodes :D )

The One Where Taylor Nation Attacked Me

On Thursday, October 19th I got the taylor nation dm :D The one that made my heart beat faster than ever. I stared at the blue little “new message” circle for what felt like hours (it was minutes, tops) and it had me crying and shaking at 10:24 am in my school’s dining plaza probably weirding out everyone around me. I was honestly minding my own business freaking out over the Gorgeous announcement when this happened. I could not believe it I couldn’t even breathe properly, but I opened the message and there it was, the all caps CONFIDENTIAL and everything.

The gag is, in the days before that moment i constantly shoved that thought in the back of my head because i didn’t want to be sad knowing that it would never happen to me. Yet even with it shoved in the back of my head I had such a feeling of hope. Sooo many people tried saying 1) taylor loves me 2) they think i’m gonna meet taylor this era or 3) they want me to meet taylor and as happy as that was for me it felt so :( bc it was such BLIND HOPE and i felt like it would honestly never happen for me. Ironically, i made so many tweets being sure that this would never happen to me, for example:

(the amount of old tweets or posts of mine where taylor proved me wrong and has made me look like boo boo the fool is hilarious)

but it wasn’t blind hope :D

Also, three hours before my taylornation message, I randomly tweeted “Don’t you see the starlight, starlight, don’t you dream impossible things!” which is....wild...like i can’t believe the universe works that way.

(point being i hope you guys who haven’t met taylor yet know you shouldn’t ever stop believing that this could happen for you. I know it feels like aimless dreams and impossible wishes but it definitely could happen for you, especially when your idol is trying just as hard to reach you.)

*taylor swift voice* next chapter

The One When It Was October  22nd

i have never felt so many emotions before in my life and i’m literally the most over emotional person in the world. my organs were flipping inside of me my heart was ready to jump out of my chest and there wasn’t enough air. it was such a feeling you guys. I was riding in my car with my parents where they would drop me off and i’d like to first of all thank the world that there is a 1989 secret sessions video out there so I could prove to my parents that this is a thing Taylor does and it wasn’t a scam and i wasn’t going to get kidnapped. My mom was legit scared to let me go and said “Lizbeth if you’re not back by 11 i’m gonna call the police” laasdkljakljs it was so funny (I got back at 11:17 she was scared but she obviously did not call the police she just waited outside the meetup with other worrisome/waiting parents) but anyway i checked in i met up with people and a lot of us knew NO ONe or just made friends with anyone we could find or some people did get to meet up with friends which was so nice ...honestly everyone in that room was just very friendly and very happy for each other and just happy in general. We were all going through the same “i can’t believe this is real and it’s happening to me” thoughts. So we got loaded into the bus and everyone was chatting and excited and nervous and excited and happy and just in shock. 

The One Where I’m In Taylor Swift’s Home

holy fucking shit??!!?!?!?!?!?! it was soo beautiful and big and we stayed in the pool area and were greeted with refreshments and food/snacks that i was too nervous to eat (except 1 rep cookie). When we were called inside, the room was very cozy and warm and there were candles everywhere and blankets and pillows and i loved it it was very intimate. I was so excited for her to just pop up and she did, she came in from the back and we all started screaming :D you can hear people start to sniffle bc honestly most of us were just on/off crying the whole night. She was so cute she did a little happy dance holding her laptop and there was extra screaming when we saw Alana, Jack, Ruby Rose, etc it was just so surreal. You guys...taylor was there..... she was so close and this wasn’t some high quality video interview i was watching her from this was my own two eyes and she was right there. She greeted us and explained how it’s gonna go and told us how excited she was to be doing this for us. You guys she loves us so much, not just the 100 fans in that room but everyone of us on here. She wants to do this, she’s excited to do this. She is also the happiest I’ve ever seen her be. throughout the whole night I just got very emotional at how happy she was and how sure of herself she was and just how cute it was seeing her so :D. Honestly, the fact that I’ve always called her my best friend but this time in that room she was talking to us and sharing stories with us like we were best friends was....wow. I love her. We danced to LWYMMD and it was so fun and the entire room just radiated :D :D :D :D!!!! and everyone was having the time of their lives just dancing with her. She truly wanted everyone to have a good time and made sure everyone knew how happy she was to have you there. Many of us have eye-contact moments and it’s completely amazing to know. Like that’s just how much you can tell Taylor was really dedicated to making this night feel special for all of us. i love her idk if i’ve mentioned this, i love her. fun fact: i love her

The One When I Liztened To ‘reputation’

just kidding i have a few words that i can say :D !

It was so good. It was so so so good. My face went through every emoji possible the whole album through. Sonically and lyrically it stunned us all and it was so enjoyable and full of bops and classic Taylor Swift genius writing, but like on a whole other level of amazing. That’s all I’ll say :D (Also the pre-releases, as much as i love them and would die for them, aren’t the peak of the album trust me, there’s soooo much more)(y’all are gonna be so shook)(i still am)(im also so proud of her you can tell she’s proud of her work and she very much should be)

The One When The Night Was Flawless And It Finally Happened

I have loved Taylor for as long as I can remember. She’s my #1. She’s always been, like she’s genuinely my best friend. Her saying “you are the longest and best relationship that I have ever had” that one time at the 2013 BMA’s was the most validating thing. Because like...i know. She’s been there when I was sad and when I was happy and when I needed someone. I’ve loved and defended that woman to anyone for years and have dealt with sooo many teasings and “she doesn’t even know you”s. So the fact that this happened was........ wow.

As I was getting closer and closer in line the butterflies (the beautiful kind) were going wild inside of me. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe i got to be here. I spent the last three days convinced i was gonna get a message that it was a mistake and she didn’t mean to invite me or it was gonna be cancelled or i couldn’t go or something because i was honestly so in denial. but it was almost my turn and the feeling when it’s hitting you that this moment you’ve wanted for so long is here is the most amazing and exhilarating feeling in the world. 

When it was my turn I walked up to her and was greeted with open arms and said “hi I’m liz” and she goes “Yeah i know you’re lizbeth right’ and i like gasped and was like “omg how did you know” and she’s like “yeah you’re lizbeth” :D :D :D :D (HER SAYING LIZBETH ACTUALLY MEANT SO MUCH TO ME I MADE A POST ABT IT) so i was like “taylor...i have to get this all out because if i don’t i’m gonna hate myself” and she laughed at me. queen of laughing. and then i just went for it and said “taylor, you’re my best friend.” and she said “aww” and I continued “like you are really my best friend. you’ve been there for me in my lowest moments and in my happiest moments. I love you so much. Like i literally sing with you in my car all the time and make sure it’s loud enough so it sounds like we’re singing together” and she laughed and went “oh my god i love that it’s like we’re duetting” and I’m like “yeah we are duetting taylor we honestly go off!!!” and then got serious again and told her about how there was an entire year period where I would cry myself to sleep every night listening to Safe & Sound because that year was so bad for me and it was so comforting to listen to. Then she gasped and said “oh my god” with the most concerned and loving look in her eyes. And i said thank you for everything and she grabbed my hands into hers and said “thank /you/ for everything i love that thank you” and then she went on about how happy she was that she was doing this and how she loved getting to do this for us and even with jack being there how nice it was for them to be seeing our reactions to the work they made. and she goes “and your reactions to eVERYTHING i love that” and i was like “oh my god taylor all those reactions were so genuine” “i know they were!” “because that album was just so so good it was so amazing i loved it so much!” and she said thank you :D 

when it was time for our picture she asked what kind of picture i wanted and i was like a hugging pic but for Reasons. and she looked at me like she was ready to #lizten which i appreciated. so i explained that there’s a picture of Taylena hugging at an awards show i couldn’t remember i probably looked sTUPID when she asked which one it was and i was like guh...idr.... but anyway i was like i wanna be on this side bc Selena was on that said and i was like “taylor i love you and Selena so much you have no idea I literally call myself taylena’s daughter and everyone agre-” and she cuts me off and goes “oh we would definitely adopt you we would totally adopt you she would want to adopt you i can confirm that she would want to adopt you”.... IF Y’ALL COULD SEE THE DUMB LOOK ON MY FACE............. GUH..... every time i call taylena mom now it’s gonna be #legit ....wow....anyway i was shook. so we got into position i was like another reason i wanted to be on this side is because when I met her i was on this side of our pic too and she goes “oh i like that I love your attention to detail”...wow.....queen of compliments. and then we :D (((also quick mention that the fact that she has curly hair again also meant...a  lot to me..not that she doesn’t always look good in any hairstyle ever but i’ve just always been insecure about my curly hair and seeing that she’s embracing hers again makes me emo.))))

so i hugged her one last time and told her i loved her and she told me she loved me and i walked out of the room still looking at her, facing her as i walked backwards and she still looked at me and that was it...I got handed my reputation merch bag and couldn’t stop smiling on my way out. :D

I am so happy and so grateful for her and everything she’s done for me and I feel so blessed to have gotten to thank her for it all.

@taylornation​ thank you for all the work you did to help make this possible for all of us too.

@taylorswift I love you and I miss you already. i can’t wait to see our picture together. you are still my best friend and will always continue to be. i’ll also be sending you the adoption papers for you and Selena to sign soon. :D

[schwinns2ndlaw]

listening through a new brain (2015)

prologue: frogs have so much spring:

homeless lady/grace singing in the prologue reminds me about how she, being homeless and really having nothing, ties together this theme of mortality, and life’s strangeness, and being grateful for what you have despite the circumstances.

gordon hasn’t “finish[ed] one song,” so i wonder how long he’s been employed with mr bungee

rhoda and gordon’s bickering/conversation feels really familiar between them. i wonder how long they’ve been friends; i hope since college,,, i have a lot of love for rhoda being the pillar of Work Ethic and advice and support and being a little bit bossy

prologue: 911 emergency/i have so many songs:

from the second song bill finn sets up a picture of normal gay culture (ex: the reality of having to worry about hiv, “mr bungee’s homophobic”) and i have so much love for how candid and unapologetic he is about telling lgbt stories. he is gay and jewish and goddamn his work is gay and jewish and that’s beautiful

heart and music:

i love what they did with the transition from i have so many songs to heart and music with the pulse ox.

also i gotta love the classic bill finn rhyme of horses & divorces. fucking iconic

one thing here that distinguishes anb from his other works, is, i think, how the songs are structured as an album. though falsettos and a new brain are both sung through, a new brain’s core songs are much more apparent, the first of which being heart and music. also bc they’re the only ones on the obc album but still. it’s interesting to see how he handles transition songs in a new brain. imo, the transitions in anb are weaker than his other shows: falsettos is more continuous, and 25th annual putnam county spelling bee has a different format (there’s dialogue), plus has transitions for comedic purposes (the goodbye songs)

mother’s gonna make things fine:

mother’s gonna make things fine has a manic comedic quality to it and ana gasteyer pulls it off really well. i esp like her blocking for that part

trouble in his brain:

“the invincibility of gordon michael schwinn” is a really interesting line to me. mimi and rhoda both say it — it’s a well known thing among those who know gordon. i wonder if this ties into gordon’s well-known desire to have a [musical] legacy or if it’s applied to other parts of his life?

be polite to everyone:

be polite to everyone is kind of a jam for a hallucination. i like jonathan groff’s acting choices in it (in the boot) that further clarify that he’s hallucinating because im dumb and found anb at like 1am a while back and didn’t get things at first. i just… accepted that mr bungee was there tbh

i’d rather be sailing:

the instrumentals in i’d rather be sailing are so soothing. it’s 11pm and aaron lazar is singing me a lullaby and all is right in the world. god, what charming, gorgeous voice, and what stellar execution. i have such a soft spot for aaron lazar after his performance in a new brain; it’s a charming role and he pulls it off with such decorum and sincerity. also i just fucking love roger. okay i was going to analyze this bit but it’s just a really sweet love song and i sometimes think about how this is the closest thing that william finn has written to a love song for his partner, and like,,, Y’all I Love This Song

(also. the piano [though it’s not marked as a specific dynamic in the sheet music] high note he sings at the end is stellar.)

family history:

family history is honestly really funny. that’s all

gordo’s law of genetics:

i love the slight changes to this arrangement in the revival recording but i will not rest until “why is the smart son always the gay son?” “schwinn’s second law” is put back in the recording. i wonder why they cut that?

also the blocking in this part is super cute i love the rolling chair and jonathan’s conducting and “air drums”

and they’re off:

i binge listened to and they’re off and then set it as my alarm and now I’m a little tired of it and that makes me sad :’(

STILL it’s a BOP and  i love the rhyming in it and everyone sounds so good. this song is overlooked in its exposition of mimi; it gives insight to the circumstances that shaped her as a person. and they’re off gives an explanation behind her anger at gordon’s fatalistic behavior

last note for and they’re off: groff’s vocals are great here - i can feel the love he has for this song and this score

roger arrives:

i love roger arrives for all of the character dynamics it brings

roger is: -loved by all (“hallelujah” - mimi, which, like, same) -looking fit -damned appropriate -a strong emotional pillar -a dreamboat, and that’s the tea!

roger and gordon’s first irl interaction is so comical and quirky and real. i’m a little peeved they omitted rogers “no” (and a few other phrases from the performance) in response to gordon asking if he left after he found out. the first time i listened through i thought roger might’ve actual left afterwards and was ready to throw hands

roger rolls with gordon’s insanity with such stride and :’)

the whole “he looks good”/“he looks pale”/“he looks better” showcases everyone’s different outlooks on the situation and god knows i live for characterization through song

ROGER’S LITTLE STINT/IMPLICATION IN “GO GET DINNER. ROGER HAS ARRIVED” IS FUNNY HONESTLY. there was a youtube performance i watched where the roger - idr which video - emphasized this joke more. it was hilarious and i wish aaron lazar had leaned into that a bit

just go:

i love how unique roger and gordon’s dynamic is. it feels quirky and unique and real and honestly. also the two get some gorgeous melodic lines and harmonies

“sometimes when you talk, i feel so damn woozy” roger wins at romance

tl;dr gordon: you will get these hands if you stay roger: love you too

mri tomorrow:

LET ME JUST TALK ABOUT “time to go to sleep. you’ll be brave as zorro” I HAVE NO IDEA WHETHER BILL FINN USED ZORRO AS A DESPERATE RHYME (PROBABLY) BUT I LOVE THE IDEA THAT ROGER IS AN OLD SCHOOL COMICS NERD

also in the boot, gordon just gives roger a /look/ after saying this and i love it. he probably uses outdated phrases of speech too

poor, unsuccessful, and fat:

JOSH LAMON IS A COMEDIC FORCE

“my sister is a receptionist” bill finn. where is gordon’s sister? what is she doing (besides being a receiptionist)? her brother’s in the hospital c’mon

“thank you for coming/ thank you for going” another example of this sort of underhanded humor. i like the sort of theme around Visitors in the hospital room and the people you surround yourself with in crisis

sitting becalmed in the lee of cuttyhunk:

sitting becalmed in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in 

i desperately need someone to make an edit where “in the lee” never ends it’d be so unsatisfying and i’d love it

“oh yeah fuck it i hate the sun” jonathan groff does a really good job of portraying sarcastic characters,, this role suits him so well

HOW MUCH COMPLAINING DO YOU THINK ROGER HEARS ON THE DAILY THOUGH

“we got the picture” “i get the picture!/that wasn’t bad at all” i actually like this though??? like the first inklings of gordon’s epiphany at the end & him valuing life for what it is

this cast all has such great voices

crainiotomy:

I LOVE THAT FUN HOME WAS THE SHOW THE DOCTOR WENT TO IN THE REVIVAL. MY LESBIAN ASS IS SO HAPPY ALSO HOW OLD ARE THE DOCTOR’S KIDS IF THEY’RE SEEING CHICAGO

an invitation to sleep in my arms:

one of my favorite songs on the album.

the orchestrations behind it are really soothing and there are the most gorgeous harmonies at 2:27. desperately need someone to duet this with

whenever “mr music” is mentioned i think of like some 7 year old running around in a magician’s hat using a magic wand as a conductor’s stick

rhoda means so well

“i get distracted so damn easily” cut to gordon not being able to write a note of a song as soon as roger walks in. also cut to gordon forgetting what he was supposed to be writing also imo gordon probably has adhd 

give roger and gordon more duets, or at least treasure the ones they get… that’s all i ask

ALSO I LOVE HOW FAMILY ORIENTED MIMI IS, like she is such an advocate for the belief that life is worth living and worth treasuring the important people in your life

also, the interactions between rhoda and mimi are some of my favorite

change:

such a good solo for high voices??? super fun and belty

i love that bill finn writes women just as dimensional as his other characters (though i wish he wrote more female-headed works i suppose. that’s just a hope of mine in general though)

the yes song:

the yes song takes me on like 7 different emotional arcs

“or when someone says “would you like to lose  your virginity”/someone with whom you have no affinity” sondheim is SHAKING

“yes i will go to my grandparents to israel” is a line that can only really be appreciated by watching it goddamn

WHERE IS HIS SON??????

in the middle of the room (part i):

sometimes i think about how jonathan groff got into a car accident during the lyric “and i’m waiting for a car to come along and kill me”…. like how ICONIC???

ana sounds so concerned and on the border of falling apart in the recording i love talent

throw it out:

throw it out is a really versatile song,, like the tenderness at the beginning, the later comedic aspect of mimi desperately trying to find something to blame for gordon’s illness.

“‘HOW TO MEET A SAILOR’ GOOD SON” IM GENUINELY CRYING WITH LAUGHTER IG WE ALL KNOW HOW ROGER AND GORDON MET I LOVE A LYRIC

in the middle of the room (part ii)

this bit is so frantic. also it scared the shit out of me in the production when they brought out that drill oh my god

a really lousy day in the universe:

HEY THIS IS ILLEGAL ESP IN THE BOOT HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO CRY 

that aside, it’s a very pretty song

also, the fact that a new brain is partially autobiographical is wild??? like, bill finn’s partner had a therapy session with a homeless lady. what a wild conversation to relay back to him tbh

brain dead:

more commonly known as the resident banger of the anb ost

i don’t have a ton to say about this but lesbians (myself) do love a song that slaps

jonathan groff NAILS the phrase “what i am” it’s Gorgeous

the music still plays on:

mimi is such an incredible character don’t sleep on her wtfff

i think that the music still plays on gives a really interesting perspective both into mimi’s life, especially with the lines, “i was brash; i was bold,” and “married too young, and divorced far too old”

“the music still plays on… as my men depart” i think this line is interesting in that it emphasizes that mimi doesn’t want to be left alone. her divorce really affected her — it’s mentioned several times and she’s regretful. and right after it she feels stupid for feeling vulnerable. we see that later in the song, and the theme shifts into moving on, as the music (& life) still plays on

don’t give in:

hey so don’t give in is so fucking cursed both because of the beginning and jonathan groff mumbling “spaghetti”

you boys are gonna get me in such trouble:

RICH IS UHHH UNDERRATED

love the sound effects

title is Too Fucking Long

i’d rather be sailing (reprise):

“i choose to live” is such a powerful statement. it actually reminds me of the foreward to one of our choral pieces, named after the poem “invictus”

the lyrics “i am the master of my fate. i am the captain of my soul" from “invictus”, and the remark “just as death is inevitable, so is life” remind me so strongly of this reprise

the homeless lady’s revenge:

“i feel about eight”/ “don’t hyperventilate out on the street, normal, lively, and sweet” i love A Dynamic

“the life is wonderful”s are so nice… their voices blend so nicely

“half these books with my name on the cover”/“some with the name of your lover” i can’t believe mimi threw out ROGER’s books too oh my god. also a shared library…. sweet

roger’s attempt to persuade grace is very charming and her reaction is priceless and i love it so much. grace is such a chaotic force (insert prayer hands emoji x100)

also gordon’s “what!?”

the vocal arrangements in this is really nice in that everyone has in character, funny reactions, but the song still has lovely melodies and still feels like a song, not a filler. william finn really out here writing conversational theater at its peak. i definitely like these songs of his (like roger arrives, an invitation) because they don’t really get old and are so full of character

time:

“i give you time to value what you’ve found”

also let roger say “my love” not “my friend” oh my godddd

time and music:

yet again, a new brain showcases the beauty that is jonathan groff’s and aaron lazar’s vocal blend

and wow the vocal arrangements during the last half of time and music! holy shit! and it doesn’t even let up during the end of i feel so much spring!

i love the end of this show; its message is so hopeful honest

tl;dr listen to a new brain and talk to me about anb i have so many thoughts

[cc-krillin]

this chat log under Read More (sent to me via email, randomly found it again lmao) was on a text based web DBZ RPG (run on a tripod web host site iirc), you pretty much emailed the admin/owner with your chosen training for PL, and get PL by RPing (or just putting ‘training’ every half-one hour) in the chatroom too. The website gets advertised on top DBZ RPG site lists back then, where this Krillin joins. I am not part of this sadly, I was asleep during due to timezones lmao.

How this is relevant to this blog and my Krillin portrayal? One of my (crack) AUs is based on this, noob Super Krillin with an OP headbuut lmao.

On a related note, I am working on a fan game (Windows .exe) on the side called CrossoverCollsionRPG, with a similar concept to what I explained above (with a battle system like Poek’mon, and story mode like DBZ Kakarot, with mostly DBZ characters playable). If you are interested please let me know, you can later be added to an exclusive group of beta testers if you are still interested after I show you a preview, thanks!

sent/received at: Fri 8/08/2008 5:06 AM

(Aug 07-13:52) Hell_Tojeiko: wtf (Aug 07-13:52) Krillin: so how do i play this? where do i go to see my guy? (Aug 07-13:52) Gotez: ( Join a dragon ball MMO . Not RP ) (Aug 07-13:52) Zerlot: (Did you download the program?) (Aug 07-13:53) Krillin: no what program must i download? (Aug 07-13:53) Gotez: ( Ah just nevermind.. ) (Aug 07-13:53) Zerlot: (It's on the Join Application) (Aug 07-13:53) Krillin: i don't want to join, i just want to play (Aug 07-13:53) Hell_Tojeiko: ...... (Aug 07-13:53) Zerlot: (Well, you can't play unless you join..) (Aug 07-13:53) Krillin: how much does it cost to join? (Aug 07-13:54) Zerlot: (5 dollars via paypal) (Aug 07-13:54) Hugo: (what happened to character customisation) (Aug 07-13:54) Hell_Tojeiko: LMFAO (Aug 07-13:54) Hugo: (ROFL) (Aug 07-13:54) Krillin: who do i send it to? (Aug 07-13:54) Zerlot: (Me, I'm assistant manager. I'll make sure the credits are transferred to the owner of the site.) (Aug 07-13:54) Krillin: cool (Aug 07-13:55) Hugo: (Or u can send it to me,Im the owners other chracter) (Aug 07-13:55) Krillin: do you send instructions on how to play this game? (Aug 07-13:55) Zerlot: (Yes, it's all included.) (Aug 07-13:55) Krillin: alright (Aug 07-13:56) Krillin: wow you guys are pretty strong, do i have to pay for power too? (Aug 07-13:56) Zerlot: (Nope) (Aug 07-13:56) Krillin: so how do i get strong? (Aug 07-13:56) Hell_Tojeiko: you gotta train man (Aug 07-13:56) Zerlot: (You spend time in here trianing) (Aug 07-13:56) Zerlot: (Training) (Aug 07-13:56) Krillin: cool (Aug 07-13:56) Hugo: (Also no cursing,Toj, give him examples of  bad launguage) (Aug 07-13:57) Hell_Tojeiko: what the hell?? when did i curse? (Aug 07-13:57) Krillin: oh no it ok, i say motherfucker and piss too (Aug 07-13:57) Hugo: (Now if u know whats good for u) (Aug 07-13:57) Krillin: krillin is awesome (Aug 07-13:57) Krillin: can i join as super krillin? (Aug 07-13:57) Krillin: can i be a super human (Aug 07-13:58) Krillin: i think he is the strongest one (Aug 07-13:58) Zerlot: (Yeah, human are the strongest) (Aug 07-13:58) Hugo: (Nope Saiyan Dragon is) (Aug 07-13:59) Krillin: nuh uh, i'm looking now on the page, they are not very up there (Aug 07-13:59) Krillin: the strongest race is the first, and the weakest race is the last on the page right? (Aug 07-13:59) Zerlot: (Yeah, but it's harder to get transformations for others) (Aug 07-13:59) Krillin: i just want to be super krillin (Aug 07-13:59) Krillin: so i can headbutt people (Aug 07-13:59) Zerlot: (ROFL!!) (Aug 07-14:00) Krillin: i rp for a long time, probably more than anyone here so i'm better (Aug 07-14:00) Krillin: than all you (Aug 07-14:00) Zerlot: (Lmfao) (Aug 07-14:00) Hell_Tojeiko: lol i doubt that, how long u been rpg'in dude? (Aug 07-14:00) Krillin: 5 months. (Aug 07-14:00) Hugo: (ROFLMFAOOL NOO (Aug 07-14:00) Hell_Tojeiko: ..... (Aug 07-14:00) Zerlot: (ALDFORLFFORFLMFAO) (Aug 07-14:00) Hell_Tojeiko: dude..... (Aug 07-14:01) Hugo: (NOOB  ) (Aug 07-14:01) Krillin: no, i started back in febuari, i am not new (Aug 07-14:01) Hell_Tojeiko: wtf dude how old are you? (Aug 07-14:01) Krillin: 11 (Aug 07-14:01) Zerlot: (ROFL) (Aug 07-14:02) Hugo: (ROFLMFAOOL) (Aug 07-14:02) Krillin: i stayed home from school today because i hate my class (Aug 07-14:02) Hell_Tojeiko: oh my god, dude you need to go change your huggies (Aug 07-14:02) Hugo: (Ohh Mr.Badass) (Aug 07-14:03) Krillin: no, my mommy is home with me, she lets me get on the computer if she watches me, but when she leaves i like to look at naked girls and guys wrestle (Aug 07-14:03) Hell_Tojeiko: (FUCKING DEAD) (Aug 07-14:03) Zerlot: (LMFAO!OFOROFLF) (Aug 07-14:03) Hell_Tojeiko: (i gotta go before i fucking pee my pants) (Aug 07-14:03) Zerlot: (LMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOO) (Aug 07-14:03) Zerlot: *Trains* (Aug 07-14:04) Krillin: what does lmfaooforoflf mean? (Aug 07-14:04) Hugo: (I cant type this is so FUCKING FUNNY) (Aug 07-14:05) Krillin: so can i join zerlot? (Aug 07-14:05) Krillin: i promice to be good and fight hard (Aug 07-14:05) Zerlot: (didufe tell him i cvannkt tyep (Aug 07-14:06) Zerlot: ) (Aug 07-14:06) Hell_Tojeiko: krillen, we are all laughing right now (Aug 07-14:06) Hugo: (Im chokin) (Aug 07-14:06) Krillin: so i can't join? (Aug 07-14:06) Krillin: i can type good (Aug 07-14:06) Krillin: and i want my guy to look like krillin (Aug 07-14:07) Krillin: same tall and pounds (Aug 07-14:07) Hell_Tojeiko: (ok i'm good) (Aug 07-14:07) Hell_Tojeiko: look dude you have to fill out the application and send an email to the owner, he'll let you know if you can join or not (Aug 07-14:08) Krillin: why not, i been playing for a really really long time i promise i will play hard (Aug 07-14:08) Krillin: i am the best i can prove (Aug 07-14:09) Hugo: what happened to creating ur own character,this is years after all the original characters died (Aug 07-14:09) Krillin: i fight someone now i bet i can beat him (Aug 07-14:09) Hugo: (Ok fight me) (Aug 07-14:09) Hell_Tojeiko: ooooooo shit (Aug 07-14:09) Krillin: ok you start furst (Aug 07-14:10) Krillin: i promise i make you look stoopid (Aug 07-14:10) Hell_Tojeiko: (OMFG this shit is classic) (Aug 07-14:12) Hugo: Hugo drops eveything he is doin and flies to see Krillin on the ground, he lands "Your Dead Bitch",then Transforms to CDO "Break-up teleport" ,then reappears behind Krillin,wraps his legs around him"KIOUHAMEHAAA" he yells and powers the blast into Krillins back (Aug 07-14:12) Hugo: (Ur dead with one hit) (Aug 07-14:12) Krillin: krillin say ow krillin headbutt you in the eye (Aug 07-14:12) Hugo: (Ur dead) (Aug 07-14:12) Zerlot: (LMFAOROFL) (Aug 07-14:13) Hell_Tojeiko: (LOOOOOOOLLLLL!!!_ (Aug 07-14:13) Hugo: (That attack had enough power to kill u like 200,000 times) (Aug 07-14:13) Hell_Tojeiko: (HOW IS EVERYONE MISSING THIS???) (Aug 07-14:13) Hell_Tojeiko: (SOMEONE SAVE THIS SHIT) (Aug 07-14:13) Krillin: no you miss me i am short my headbutt cant be block (Aug 07-14:14) Hell_Tojeiko: (dude..u said ow) (Aug 07-14:14) Hugo: (Dumbass NOOB, I wrapped my legs around u and shot ur back,U R DEAD<U CANT BLOCK THAT) (Aug 07-14:15) Krillin: that was fake i fake him out then headbutt him he think i was dead (Aug 07-14:15) Krillin: no i to short so i hit you (Aug 07-14:15) Krillin: and i not new (Aug 07-14:15) Hugo: (No ur body is destroyed) (Aug 07-14:15) Krillin: no its not, krillin still standing (Aug 07-14:15) Hell_Tojeiko: (wowo) (Aug 07-14:16) Krillin: i told you i am better than you (Aug 07-14:16) Hell_Tojeiko: hugo got owned by  a n00b!!!!!! (Aug 07-14:16) Hugo: (I HATE FUCKIN NOOBS, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE NOOBS THAT ASKED QUESTIONS,AND DIDNT TRY TO FUCK WITH PPL) (Aug 07-14:17) Hugo: (U r dead sorry Junior) (Aug 07-14:17) Krillin: see you mad i am happy so i win (Aug 07-14:17) Zerlot: (LOL) (Aug 07-14:17) Krillin: can i join now zerlot (Aug 07-14:17) Krillin: i beat hugo (Aug 07-14:17) Krillin: please (Aug 07-14:17) Hugo: (No the fuck u didnt NOOB ) (Aug 07-14:18) Zerlot: (LMAFO) (Aug 07-14:18) Krillin: yes i did see (Aug 07-14:18) Zerlot: (Yeah, Krillin, fill out an email in the Join Application) (Aug 07-14:18) Krillin: you are mad because you lost to me (Aug 07-14:18) Krillin: ok thank you zerlot (Aug 07-14:18) Zerlot: (NP) (Aug 07-14:18) Hugo: (I hope u get accepted,because first quest Imma kill u) (Aug 07-14:19) Krillin: thank you gotez, thank you Hell_Tojeiko, thank you majin_chaos, thank you shinta, and thank you zerlot (Aug 07-14:19) Hell_Tojeiko: (LOL!!!!!!!!!!) (Aug 07-14:19) Shinta: [Your Welcome Krillin?] (Aug 07-14:19) Zerlot: (Lmao) (Aug 07-14:19) Krillin: i beat hugo (Aug 07-14:19) Hugo: (Someone please save this)

[kitsuhe]

i wanna rant about my shitty grandparents (mostly grandfather for now) and how my parents didnt deserve any of this.

a side story of how my parents met: my mom was from China and worked in a cafe (with lodging) for years. she wanted to leave china because the marriage laws werent very good to women, they didnt have a lot of rights, and people can just get married and divorced on a whim, and so a marriage there would make her feel very insecure.

she saw loads of men with fancy motorcycles they probably borrowed flirting with the waitresses and getting them pregnant even though some of those men were married already. she saw loads of waitresses in and out of the job, and so she willed to never give in to the flirtations and worked at the cafe till she was around 26.

my father’s boss was in that area once in a while and frequented that cafe. he noticed my mom who always remained there and was like hey she seemed to be a nice woman and so he introduced her to his son, aka my fathers colleague.

according to my mom, the son was a wishy-washy man who couldnt make up his mind. they went for a few dates and things werent really clicking. my father, however, said ‘i want her’ when he saw her and so the choice was made, they started dating, and she went back to china for the time being. they then maintained a long distance relationship with phone calls, and one year later she came to singapore and got married. 

cute, right?

then the in-laws hell, aka my grandparents begun.

and now my father’s backstory, first:

he was the classic example of the scapegoat i think. out of his siblings (an older brother, a younger brother, and a younger sister), he was the one my grandparents hated the most. ‘hated’ isnt even an exaggeration, apparently hey did tell him explicitly that he was the one they hated the most. A+ parenting yall. when in school, while his siblings get 50cents and 30cents (in order of favouritism), he got 20cents or none. they didnt care about the education of their kids, and so my dad dropped out at P3 (9 years old) and the others all within primary school age. my aunt may have went further though, im not sure.

when he started working at 13, my grandma would wait at the door everytime he got his salary and took all of it away. i dont think he got to keep any of it. she gambled quite often and spent loads of money.

it was from these incredibly unfair xperiences on childhood that my dad swore he would treat and spoil his kids and not show favouritism.

my parents got married years later, and basically everyone in my extended family h a t e d my mom, despite it being entirely non-justified because my mom is a freaking wonderful woman who isnt afraid of hardwork. Because my mom came from china, im presuming that its some mixture of xenophobia and racism that made them say that my mom was only here to mooch off my dad, and treat her like shit, until they didnt as they finally opened their eyes.

over here, all men have to go through compulsory national serivce, and my dad was no exception. after serving the 2 years they have to go back periodically for reservist training. this is the background info for this incident im going to repeat from my mother.

after she got married over here, my dad still had to go for reservist training. they only had a limited amount of time to use the phone after one entire week. my mom called him, talked to him as his wife, before uncle2 (the younger brother) interruppted her and told her to stop using the phone. assuming that he had an emergency,  my mom quickly finished and hung up, my dad losing his rare few minutes to talk to his wife.

then uncle2 didnt use the phone.

god fucking damn it.

an example of unfair treatment: uncle1 had a different wife at that time. while my mom cooked entire meals for the family (they were living with my grandparents and uncle2 and probably aunt at that time) while being pregnant, when it came to be her birthday, my grandma didnt give her a red packet (gift of money). ‘im an old woman who hasnt worked for years, i have no money’.

then when it came to uncle1′s wife, who had never cooked any food and only got takeaways when she visited, she got a big shiny red packet from my grandma.

yeah, what the hell. my mom said she was very upset about this and cried. god, she was surrounded by people who hated her and yet she still worked so hard for them, she genuinely doesnt deserve this.

heres another thing about my grandma: apparently she gambled so often she oftently went to genting to gamble and the money all came from her kids. yeah. .

(my dads a chef, uncle1 is a mechanic, uncle2 is a part timer with no set jobs, and aunt is unknown.)

then i was born. my mom wasnt a citizen, and had to pay a lot of money to stay in the most expensive hospital word. the rare good thing my grandpa did was to fork out $2000 for her to have me. one day, if i can and he isnt dead yet, i will pay him back. ‘thats your coffin money’ i will say. ‘im not obligated to you anymore please leave my life forever’ i want to say.

looking back at the thick stack of photo albums, things appeared to be all happy and fun. people were smiling in the pictures, and i was showered in love and affection from everyone. it is only recently that i came to learn of the shit my parents went through under them.

i was also a lively and boisterous child who had no concept of day and night, it was almost enough to scare my parents into not having my siblings. nonetheless, my sister came into existence.

picture this: my dad looking all frazzled and tired as he took care of a wild toddler at the hospital without sleeping for 3 days straight, and my mom in labour, waiting to give birth. the nurse asked why wasnt anyone there to help out? 

my mom said that was the only time she had ever seen my dad cry. my sister, my mom, and i all teared up as she recounted this.

it was then they swore to move out and not to rely on anyone ever again. the house i am in now is paid entirely by my parents.

my sister was born, and eventually, they moved out before my brother was born.

when they moved out, my grandma shouted at them ‘dont come back! i hope you die!’

at one point, or perhaps distance made the heart grow fonder, my grandparents and uncles started to treat my mom very nicely, realising that they were utterly wrong to judge and treat her that way at the beginning. thats why they treat her so nicely now, my mom explained. it is also the reason why my grandma always brought kuehs and chocolate cake over when she visited, subsequently developing my dislike of chocolate cake and neutrality towards chocolate at best. at this point im pretty sure they all like my mom more than my dad.

my aunt learnt her lesson in the form of receiving discrimination and hatred she once showed to my mom upon being married to a family of university graduates, and her only graduating secondary school. she wasnt as well-educated, and so after sharing my moms pain of being the hated daughter in law she finally learnt empathy and started being nice.

my grandpa too was a convert. he came over everyday to help out with chores and to take care of us. perhaps when we were all young the help was truly needed back then, but then some events made everyone question his motives...

i remember him fetching me from kindergarten every day every time. i wondered why my dad never did, and was happy on the occasions he did. it is only years later that i learnt that my grandpa hogged all those times to fetch us (my siblings and i). he outright refused to let my parents especially my dad to fetch us. on the occasions that my dad came, he threw a tantrum and went home. my dad was visibly upset as he recount this to us. ‘it felt like he was keeping my kids away from me’ he said. he has taken so much from my dad, and now even his kids???? im so upset on his behalf??

it genuinely feels like hes controlling everyone around him.

he is still coming over every single day, and from what i can tell he is incredibly passive aggressive and can never be satisifed with my dad. i dread his arrival.

for example, he refuses to eat anything my dad cooked. my dad, a known chef. once my dad made a noodle dish for dinner, he told my dad oh i cant eat noodles for dinner.

cue him eating the noodles my mom cooked for dinner.

cue him getting noodles for takeaway for dinner.

these days whenever my dad cooks for dinner we just give him money for takeaway.

speaking of leaving that ungrateful old bastard money, he also takes issue with my dad for this somehow. my dad left a note saying that thats his dinner money on the table, and he felt that it was so disrespectful he went to my moms workplace which is near where he lives and complained to her.

meanwhile my mom did the exact same thing and he had zero complaints.

when my dad fell asleep in my brothers room with my brother in it, he walked in and deliberately talked at the top of his lungs about some trivial matter that never came up in the years of living here.

the creepy amount of adoration he shows my mom is also apparent in how he would follow my tired sweaty mom after shes home from work  everywhere to talk and yabber on about irrelevant things. she was obviously busy and wanted to be left alone, but hey that POS never cared about what anyone ever thought or wanted if its in conflict to what he wants. sometimes she had to close the door just to get him to leave her alone, and once he just opened the door and continued talking. my dad was enraged, he said he almost went to start a fight with him, and he would especially if my mom was in the midst of changing at the time.

once my dad brought him to the doctor. ‘so what did they say’ he would ask my dad repeatedly over and over again after seeing the doctor. ‘you are fine, and if anything happens the doctor will inform us to go to the hospital’.

he went to complain to my mom at her workplace that my dad was cursing at him to get in the hospital.

once he was nosey and opened up our mailbox, and when he found some letters addressed to my dad he slammed the pile of letters next to him on the sofa. wtf

god, its like no matter what my dad does he will NEVER be happy.

a while ago he lent his children money, and said oh its not lending hes giving them money with no strings attached, no interest at all. my dad took some for renovation, and this info will come into play later.

and so life continues on with his insistence to tidy and clean my house, with zero regards to anyones wishes. if someone so much as point out that he isnt doing something right, he would exaggerate his actions and ask and repeat.

heres the incident that triggered the Revelations:

my grandpa asked my sister if she still wanted a donut while holding it in his entire hand, as in his entire hand was clutched around the donut. visibly disgusted, my sister said no, she didnt want it. in an act of passive aggressiveness, he placed the donut and only the donut directly in the fridge. not on a plate no nothing.

my mom wrote him a note in response: my daughters are having national examinations soon, and my husband has to wake at 5am to go to work, and he doesnt have enough rest. it would be preferable if you do not make as much noise so they can study and rest properly. i am saying this here, it doesnt matter if you help with the chores or not, it is entirely up to you and we will not blame you if you choose to rest and watch tv instead. you will always have a meal and you dont need to worry about anything else. hope you can understand.

in response, he wrote back: i have read all your words, and there is no need to worry. from november, i will no longer be coming over. i want your husband to return me the renovation money. from: dumb dad (thats what he calls himself in notes)

first of fucking all: wow hes not even acknowledging that my dad is his son. second of all, hes using the money to control my parents and guilt them wtf

this incident got kinda big in the sense that my aunt got involved. my aunt, the golden child, called to stage an intervention.

she called my siblings and i privately, without my parents knowledge. she asked me:

‘are you aware that he has hearing issues and cannot tell that hes being loud?’

‘can you cope with his average noise level?’

‘is he actually disturbing you guys?’

of course i am aware. i am used to it. i am not sure why my mom wrote about the noisy part, could be the fact that he refused to let my dad rest. to which i answered:

‘yes i am aware, no he is not that noisy’

and in a nicer way, i told her ‘frankly the issue is his character, that he is a pos shit i cant stand and after knowing what he did to my parents especially my dad i dont want him in my life at all i dont want him to come over anyways’

‘how much would you say that its mostly his fault that there is conflict or is your dad making a big deal out of nothing?’

i bit my tongue and said its my grandpa 95% of the time. there are one or two occasions that i would say my dad is over reacting.

then she went on and on about how she has to balance both perspective and pick the best outcome, and there are two sides etc etc

what fucking two sides i wanted to ask. my parents literally did nothing wrong. he was the hand that clutched at the donut and squished it.

eventually, she yelled at him and to serious disappointment hes coming over again.

a little interlude about my aunt: she complained to my mom afterwards (im surrounded by snitches) that i am not very respectful about my grandpa, that i am lazy and didnt help around the house often (i tidied and cleaned my room frequently, and if my mom ask me to do chores i would. theres an agreement that i should just concentrate on my studies and she will take care of the chores). i stay in my room all the time and didnt come out when my relatives came over. (listen, theres nothing for me. my cousins are ur typical boys that i cant talk to, they hog the xbox and scream about fifa all the time, im not exactly interested in the adults conversations).

my mom defended me, yall. even my aunt has to concede that im a decent person.

and my mom told me she didnt actually agree with the way shes raising my cousins. they were told to never question my aunt and uncle, and their orders are orders. my parents didnt agree, they believed in reason. for everything they tell us to do, there is a legit reason behind it, and we can question them. my mom want us to do well so that she can prove that shes right all along.

my brother recall asking the cousins why my relatives didnt allow them to do certain things and they just shrugged.

well, thats a bet i am willing to participate in.

back to my grandpa.

my parents reasoning is that as compared to taking revenge and stop contacting him, they rather treat him decently no matter what, knowing deep down they has always did their best.

due to the way healthcare works here, my dad shouldered most of the hospital bill and healthcare when his parents were in the hospital. because #asianvalues, they never did thank him or appreciate him.

either my parents or my aunt said they are scared that if we do anything too drastic like refusing him to come here, he will go senile and demented. as he is now he has a clear enough mind to remain a dickbag to my dad.

well, i wasnt exactly close to him, or as close as he deluded himself to think. i wasnt exactly patient with him, in the sense that i kinda have to raise my voice to communicate with him pretty often. heres the complicated relationship between languages: he speaks mostly teochew, and some chinese. we are expected to understand him when he speaks chinese to get across something, but somehow when i speak my perfectly accurate chinese back at him he understands nothing. he will smile stupidly at me, nodding as if he understood.

you fake old man. you understood nothing. i dont want to bother. i am mean for saying this. i hate your pretenses. quit acting like you understand.the conversations between us are fruitless and useless and has zero point. just now, you saying while im eating dinner that ‘you should give me 50 dollars. look at me, i have nothing. ahahahahaha’

i ignored him, as my cold shoulders got colder.

‘your mother did give me $120, i actually have money. what a good girl’

just, what the fuck is he on about. why are you even asking me for money when you have it. this is the exact type of inane pointless conversations you have. i dont even want to dignify that with a response.

he went to my sister, 3 meters away from me, and said the exact same thing.

my sister: [turning her pockets inside out] i have no money

him, repeating what he said , and adding on ‘you are a good girl, your sister is bad, she didnt want to give me money’ 

what the fuck. hes still talking to us like we are 5. he always treat us like were 5. once i facepalmed and he told me not to do that i will give myself brain damage. i proceed to whack my forehead 4 times, each whack resounding loud and clear.

god, i really dont want to interact with him. theres guilt niggling at me that i shouldnt treat him like this, pretending he doesnt exist as much as possible. then i remember what he did to my dad, and also kinda my mom, and something in me says ‘he doesnt deserve a relationship with his grandchildren for treating his own son like this’.

god, how do i get him to understand that i dont want anything to do with him? that i hate him? i stop calling him ‘grandpa’, only referring to him as that. i dont greet him when he come over anymore.

a few days? weeks? ago he said as he walked out of my room: ‘i still love you the most.’

thats the problem aint it? favouritism. and we all know you favour my brother the most, which i dont mind. i want you to stop doting on me, i want you to pretend i dont exist too. not in the way where you blatantly talk and criticise someone to somebody in front of the person you are criticising. 

when is karma ever coming for you?

nothing but you mattered to you, you dipshit. you never cared about how others may feel. you always did things your own way, you treat people whatever the hell you want to.

i visited you in the hospital after the operation on your balls, you were so happy afterwards you gave me a $50. i still wish i hadnt visited, you disgusting person. i wish i can give you the $50 back, but i think, ill keep it. i will treat it as a woeful attempt to ‘reward’ me for my love and affections. i will keep the money knowing that your love is not returned. cruel of me, but so were you.

i dont think there will ever be a resolution. i wont cry at your funeral, i will try not to. i did for my grandma, but that was before i knew the truth.

my mom told me it is undeniable that my relatives all doted and loved me. i want to reject your love. i want the right to not be loved.

[hellopro-go]

[Album Review]: ⑮ Thank you, too - Morning Musume’17

So the heavily anticipated Momusu album was officially released yesterday-ish! I hopped on my computer immediately after classes to snatch it and get a taste of more modern post Tsunku-makes-everything Morning Daughter fakeness realness. Click through the read more to get more juicy details.

Tracklist-

1. Jealousy Jealousy (Album Ver.) 2. Romance ni Mezameru Mousou Joshi no Uta 3. CHO DAI 4. Watashi no Nanni mo Wakacchanai 5. Jama Shinai de Here We Go!  6. Style of my love 7. Narcissus Kamatte-chan Kyousoukyoku Dai 5ban 8. Seishun Say A-HA 9. Wakaindashi 10. Mou Gaman Dekinai wa ~Love ice cream~ 11. Dokyuu no Go Sign 12. Koi wa Toki ni 13. Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari (Morning Musume '17 Ver.) 14. BRAND NEW MORNING 15. Ai no Tane (20th Anniversary Ver.)

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1. Jealousy Jealousy (Album Ver.) Coming right back in our faces with the tune that captured our hearts is Envy Envy, but SPARKLIER! Jealously is a tune with the funk-ish tune that would usually be gifted to a group such as Ju=Ju, but Tsunku-papa decided that it was time for a switcharoo. The vocals this time are much more clear, is the first thing I noticed of the Album Version, which is odd because usually albums from Up-Front are very over-mixed and muffled. This lets us know that there was a lot of effort put into the cleaning of this wonderful piece with a break down of an early-underground j-rap vibe. One thing that will always fascinate me about this sound is how the string instruments used here brings such a feeling of elegance, that it makes me feel like I’m rich while listening to it. Surely Tsunku understands and executes luxury in his spot on composition this time around. 

2. Romance ni Mezameru Mousou Joshi no Uta My first impression was a  woah! from the beginning instrumentals. Immediately I was thrown back into the early 2013-2014 EDM songs that Tsunku used to produce for Momusu such as [What is LOVE?], and I fell in love until.... They started to sing. One thing I’m not crazy about is when management pitches this intense, powerful instrumental and then they break it into this... childish, “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” kind of melody. It’s done so much that it’s almost expected, but they got me this time, I’d say. Around the 3-minute mark, the melody gets very enjoyable for me, with more opera in the BG and a ballad reminiscent of The Vision. The fact that Morning Musume isn’t afraid of using soft high notes nowadays is great too.

3. CHO DAI Bitch I love fart-sounding electronic noises in my songs and it sounds like sarcasm but it’s high key not. One pattern that I’m starting to notice and it’s starting to irk me is the constant use of “one word” LONG REST  “one word”. It was very refreshing with [Seishun Kozou wa Naiteiru], but after being repeated about a hundred times, it’s just boring and needs to go. This song is a good example of what me and my friends call “Scrapped Melodies” because at some parts it just sounds like Narcissus but slightly different. If you want a clearer example of a scrapped melody, think of Brainstorming(@0:37) and Wakuteka(@1:00) with that one farking melody that’s like... the same melody.

4. Watashi no Nanni mo Wakacchanai This is the song I’d been anticipating the most on this album. After watching the recent Budokan footage of the song and my friend drilling me about how “Maachan fucked Sakura’s shit up here like do you not see that??!!”, The song grew on me to the point where I’d listen to the concert performance like it was an official track. It was also a great decision to keep this song behind bars until 2017 because in 2015 Riho sang some lines that were just... not her  strong point... honestly (@1:17 & 3:45). But other than the lack of charisma that lives bring to this song, this is a good put!

5. Jama Shinai de Here We Go!  Here We Go... again with the “one word” LONG REST  “one word”. Even though this song is a bop. There’s something about the subtle nature of this song that drew me in, despite it being a tad bit on the plainer side of a Momusu song. Though I’m still a bit thrown off by Chiichan, she knows how to blend well to the point of merging with the background. The dance, might I add, is just basically Angerme’s Ai Sae but slightly different, pffft.

6. Style of my love Very stylish! Brings me back to something akin to [Senobi] in a way. With a melody of an early action anime opening (I’d say Inuyasha, or a classic fantasy-shoujo anime,) This song knows how to advertise itself. With Haruna having a few solos in this, it really shines and radiates a glow to the instrumentals. The dance break was a bit underwhelming, but do I hear Maria??? Wow, she’s really growing into her voice. I have very few qualms about this song, and I’m generally pleased.

7. Narcissus Kamatte-chan Kyousoukyoku Dai 5ban Shamefully, I found myself whispering “Motto, Mitsumete...” multiple times through the day. And finally we don’t have those classic Momusu heavy harmonies on like 99% of the darn song, and they lowered it to a 97%, but I’m tapping my foot, waiting y’all. This song is nearly as stylish as Style of my Love, but theres some feeling of living luxurious, yet lonely and discontent. I’m digging the story in it, even though I know the lyrics must be some irrelevant diarrhea.

8. Seishun Say A-HA Gonna get this out here first: I didn’t like the song when I first heard it a few times. Then it grew on me a bit and I can generally say I have a love-hate with it LOL. LIKE IM SORRY, BUT this song sounds like a pirate song. Like everyone in momusu is a stank ass pirate with scurvy and they’re having a sailing montage to find treasure. But it’s... it’s catchy for some reason. ugh. why @ Tsunku

9. Wakaindashi Damn do I love Duu and this song in general, but the soft EDM is bothering me for some reason?? We are back with the “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” melody and I’m still unnerved by “You can get fatter or skinnier” line like... why.... But this song is CUTE for Duu and therefore I support it. I also like the choreo in many ways. Duu controlling the wave is so cute. The dance break was pure.

10. Mou Gaman Dekinai wa ~Love ice cream~ Me while reading that Haga’s gettin a lot of lines cause its a quartet: AYYYYY Me listening to the song finally: wtf this is Like ok I like the fact that it’s more rock orientated but it’s like... a lil boring. Especially the whole “Mougamandekinaiwa” all fast and shit.. It didn’t fit. I feel like this is a early rock vocaloid song. But I enjoy the fact that Tsunku is experiementing with different genres. He really loves his job. #come back papa

11. Dokyuu no Go Sign I love this song wtf... It’s like a near perfect combo of rock and EDM. Maybe if momusu would stop with the heavy ass harmonies it’d show a little more of it’s capability. The style of the song makes momusu seem more united despite the crazy battle for center currently going on. And Miki getting more lines is chill af (They’re realizing Mizuki is gettin old lol). The blend of musical elements along with the message of the song makes more a good pick-me-up, hype yourself up tune! PLUS THE LAYERING OF HARMONIES INTO THE HOLIEST DANCE BREAK TUNE IS MY ACTUAL SHIT. The bridge after that is so celebratory and invokes a feeling of greatfulness, I love it.

12. Koi wa Toki ni It goes from a video game level to where you gotta sneak around characters to the classic “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” melody... again. I’m really trying to get into this song but it’s very hard. It’s very plain and barely has any shine to it. One good thing I can say is that during the instrumental break, I’m reminded of early Kikuo songs and uh... I’m a whore for Kikuo so I fell for the break like a klutz. The use of unusual sounds here gives it a spacey vibe.

13. Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari (Morning Musume '17 Ver.) NGL Joshikashi gets more and more cringey each time (especially Nonaka Miki’s verse), so this is a song on the album I’ll rarely indulge in. I love the fact that Maria incorporates her love for baseball to her verse even though she’s not my oshi. I value her a lot LMAO. But other than that, it’s a good song to familiarize yourself with the girls’ voices.

14. BRAND NEW MORNING god I hate this song, So Jean Luc Ponpon is deemed worthy enough after Mukidashi was released and gained popularity, and they bring him back for another round of Tsunku vs. Ponpon and this time, in my opinion, he flops. Brand new morning just isn’t my cup of tea no matter how many times I listen to it, and usually I can make my brain like an H!P song if I listen to it a bunch of times. Something about this song is very lacking and monotone, and doesn’t really get the feeling of a new Era across to me. If anything, this is the Jealousy Era to me (because everyone in Momusu is salty rn).

15. Ai no Tane (20th Anniversary ver.) I still really like this song, even with the updated singers. It’s much more fine tuned than back in the day, which really shows how music production has changed over just a span of 20 years! Amazing how fast the world progresses, isn’t it? All I can say as a closing note for this updated piece is that I’m glad Tsunku didn’t turn it into some crazy ass dubstep wub-wub version of the original. Thank you Tsunku papa.

OVERALL: I’d rate this album a 7.2/10. I feel like there could have been much more style variation in the music, track by track, especially because Momusu is so “highly esteemed”. These girls need to tackle other genres with how far they’ve come, especially since the older eras would bounce between stuff like [Memory~ Seishun no Hikari] all the way to [Onna ni Sachi Are] back in the day. 

I’m also hoping that next time around, it isn’t Mizuki, Oda & the Backup Dancers. That’s one thing that bothers me the most out of his album.

Till next time!