#i hope it's very clear that this isn't an attack against anyone it's just some observations about fandom as a whole with a focus on lizzie

[to-be-a-dreamer]

Okay so this post has gained a lot of traction and I've seen some questions in the tags and also a few other posts talking about the same thing so I just want to clarify what I mean when I say "Please don't reduce Lizzie's character and death to an extension of a man's" and similar things. (Just for some clarification before we start: I don't think this is some huge issue that we need to have a big fight about, but I have seen some people talking about it and I wanted to put in my two cents)

I know no one is doing this because they're misogynistic. I know there would be similar reactions if any of the men had the same arc over the season. I know people are telling the truth when they say the connections they're making between Lizzie and the male characters aren't because she's a woman. I know no one is thinking about her gender when they're saying these things and that is what bugs me, I think.

Fandom in general, but especially the MCYT fandom, has always had issues with the way we treat women. We have a tendency to reduce them to one or two characterizations (kind, mothering, vengeful, etc.) or to their relationships with men, things that aren't inherently bad things for a character to be. The issue comes from when that's the ONLY thing they ever get to be. They're not allowed to be as complex as the men. Again, I'm not at all saying that anyone is doing this on purpose, it's just a pattern that fandom culture as a whole seems to struggle with.

And when you have an issue like, that the answer isn't to ignore the gender aspect and treat all characters the same. You have to intentionally combat it. You have to take the time to deliberately give the female characters complex characterizations and interesting storylines outside of the men. It's equality vs. equity, you know?

If you've ever done research about writing POC characters, you've probably heard people say something like "Don't just write them like you would a white character because you might accidentally enforce stereotypes and biases you didn't even know existed. You have to be aware of those things so you can intentionally go against them." It's kinda similar to that in my head. You can't just say "I would do the same thing for a man" and be done with it because men and women have been treated very differently in fandom spaces and if we want to change that, we have to be intentional about how we write them.

I don't think there's anything inherently misogynistic about connecting Lizzie's death to the Canary Curse or Joel's revenge arc, but I would like her to also have her own character lore and a connection to the Watchers that isn't about a man. In a fandom space where women are constantly defined by their relationships with men and with a character who had as tragic a story as Lizzie, I would love for some of her lore to be about her and her alone. Connections to Jimmy and Joel are awesome! I love reading them! But I don't want that to be the only thing about her, even if that's what you would talk about if she were a man. She's not a man, she's a woman in a space where women are often mistreated or only seen as extensions of men. So even if you genuinely would say the same things about a man I just want you to challenge yourself to dig a little deeper with her character and find ways to give her something that is wholly and truly her own.

She had her own plans for revenge that went horribly wrong and ultimately led to her death! Even in her vengeful anger, she held a soft spot for Pearl because she remembered how she saved her in Session 1! She was forgotten and ignored by almost everyone! She tried to cheer herself up by doing something harmless and fun and that led to her being punched and then murdered for no reason! She wasn't even angry at Jimmy when he accidentally murdered her because she felt like it was her own fault! She tried so hard at everything she did and it still wasn't enough! She knew no one would come to save her from the caves! The only thing she asked of anyone was for them to come to her slumber party and still only one person showed up for her! She was forced to turn on her own husband to complete her task! She tried to make it up to him and it led to her being out of the game! No one even gave her a funeral when she was gone! She was forgotten and ignored in both life and death! There is so much more to her than being motivation for a man or breaking a man's curse, even if those are big things that happened.

Again, I'd like to make it very clear that I'm not angry about the way Lizzie has been treated, I'm mostly joking whenever I say things like in the original post. It's mostly just a feeling of "Come on I know we can do better than that!" And in the past few days I've seen a lot of people do some really amazing things with her character! So much amazing art and fanon lore! This isn't even a huge issue anymore because a lot of people have begun to explore her individual character now that the excitement about the Canary Curse has died down. This post is just an explanation for people who were asking questions or weren't sure what people meant in some posts from earlier in the week.

[matan4il]

@anon-e-has-a-tmblr asked regarding this post (that briefly referred to the UN's International Court of Justice's ruling):

Wait didnt the ICJ ruled FOR israel?? I dont understand any of this

That's a very good question. The answer is complex. On the surface, they ruled against Israel. The first part of their decision says Israel must immediately halt its military operations in Rafah, and since most people only read this first part, it was taken as a win by the Israel hating crowd. I don't follow every international news outlet out there, but from what I understand, that's pretty much how it was initially reported across the board. Here's an example from the BBC:

Then, the legal opinions of five of the trial's judges were published, including Aharon Barak's (the globally esteemed judge, former president of Israel's Supreme Court of Justice, and a kid Holocaust survivor... Someone who truly understands what a genocide is because he lived an actual one). Four of the five judges indicated that the ruling actually has a second part, where they mention that the military operations that that Israel must stop immediately in Rafah are limited to the ones which might lead to a genocide (the only judge to publish their opinion and disagree with this interpretation is the South African one. Pretend to be surprised).

In other words, the court didn't say, "Israel IS doing this thing, and therefore must stop," instead it said, "Israel must stop IF what it's doing could cause this thing." What the court ended up ruling is still kind of ambiguous when you try to translate it into practical rules on what is and isn't allowed, but it's probably the best that we could hope for, because it does allow military action in Rafah.

In other words, this is NOT the provisional measure South Africa was asking for, they wanted an immediate junction against any and ALL Israeli military operations in Rafah, and even in Gaza overall (they got neither), not a reference to this, but with an asterisk that allows Israel to continue operating there under certain conditions (though having to be even more cautious with any action that might be misinterpreted as contradicting said conditions). Given how politically biased against Israel the ICJ is, this absolutely can be taken as a win.

The issue is two fold.

First, since Israel is already pretty much already doing more than any other army to aid the civilian population under the rule of the enemy, if this is limiting us even more in having to demonstrate the crimes we're not committing (and think of how hard that actually is... how do you legally prove in-existence? If you had to prove you've never murdered anyone or had an intent to murder anyone, and had to do something beyond showing an arrest record clear of murder charges, how would you do that?) then how much military operational room do we have left to root out Hamas, and will it be enough to achieve our goals of destroying it and bringing back all of our hostages?

Second, and this is arguably the bigger one, is the optics of it. Because so many will only refer to the first part, and act as if the second part doesn't exist, that Israel's military operation in Rafah (you know, the city that Hamas just yesterday used to fire rockets from at central Israel, including Tel Aviv, in what was probably the first massive Hamas rocket attack since January on that area) does have to stop completely, and if we don't halt, then we're criminals. Just like some people used being Israel being to court as if it proves our fault (rather than wait for the required conviction to claim we're guilty), some will use the very fact this new provisional measure was issued to claim it's proof of our crimes, even though it's not.

In fact, I've already seen headlines reflecting how notoriously anti-Israel European Union senior Josep Borell is using this misinterpretation to pretend that Israel has to stop completely, or it's not complying with the court's ruling.

A full win for Israel would have been if the ICJ had ruled that there's no room for new provisional measures.

That was never going to happen with this biased court. Instead, the ICJ used the claim that things are deteriorating in Gaza to rule against Israel, even though it never found that it was Israel's fault that the situation is becoming worse (not to mention that they're basing the estimate of how the humanitarian, rather than military, situation is in Gaza is deteriorating on what Hamas is reporting. You know, the terrorists who are the actual culprits in using the Gazans as human shields, making things worse on purpose, for example through Hamas stealing the aid allowed in, and selling some of it back to Gazans at impossible prices).

So I hope this explains why, even though all things considered Israel got the best result it could at a biased court, it's still seen as a ruling against us, when everyone knows how it will be used (including the judges themselves. Listen to the American ICJ judge on this case, a month ago, already having to explain that the previous provisional measures were not a finding against Israel)...

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[tossawary]

I'm going to rewatch "Revenge of the Sith" later and I don't remember the original trilogy all that well either, but... both "The Phantom Menace" and "Attack of the Clones" seem to suffer tremendously during their final battles because the films keep cutting away from the potentially dramatically and emotionally rich sequences to... the childish physical comedy adventures of sidekick characters.

I'm not going to pretend that "Star Wars" isn't incredibly silly at times. "Return of the Jedi" has the Empire being murdered by teddy bears with sticks at one point, and I am personally incredibly fond of this sequence and the Ewoks generally for no good reason I can name. But, from what I remember, that movie was better editing-wise about letting more dramatic sequences like Luke versus Vader breathe emotionally. We had some time to settle into these fights, to feel Luke's fear and anger, to see Luke's resolve, you know?

And in "A New Hope", the climatic dogfights involve people dying and it's treated quite seriously. A lot of lives are on the line with the Death Star's destruction. The characters go into the battle knowing that some of them won't make it back. And in "The Empire Strikes Back"... as far as I vaguely remember, there's not very much silliness at all at the end of that movie, the protagonists "lose" and all of the characters are in a lot of pain. The camera stays with them to show us their agony and grief and strength.

But in "The Phantom Menace", the film keeps cutting away from Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan versus Maul in favor of Jar-Jar Binks tripping over droids. Jar-Jar Binks fighting to defend his homeworld against an invading army, as his people die around him, is treated as an utter joke. Pure comedic relief with no substance at an utterly inappropriate time. They are undercutting the "war" in "Star Wars" that was a big part of its tone. The film doesn't bother to treat anyone like they or their lives matter in that sequence. And Anakin is in a ship he's struggling to pilot against an entire army, but we never get any real sense of him being afraid of dying in space or being at risk, as he almost accidentally saves the day. Padmé is just... fighting down hallways and it's kind of boring, both action-wise and emotionally. I spent most of the time wishing that the camera would just cut back to Maul again because that fight had actual, like, substance.

And in "Attack of the Clones", the film keeps wasting time cutting back to Threepio with his head accidentally stuck on a battle droid's body, when it's not even clear why he and Artoo are even there beyond just jamming them in as iconic figures from the original trilogy. They shouldn't be there!!! This is blatant shoehorning!!! This is valuable screentime that the Battle of Geonosis could use to focus on the Jedi who are being killed, on the separatists who are being invaded, or on the clones who have just entered the war. Mace Windu or Obi-Wan Kenobi reacting emotionally to the nameless Jedi being cut down around them would have been nice. The confrontations with Dooku could have dug deeper into the emotional and physical pain of his betrayal.

Mace Windu's fight with Jango could have been longer, instead, seeing as the hardest emotional beat we actually get in this film confronting the death of this battle is probably Boba picking up Jango's helmet. A kid has lost his dad!!! We could have seen any of the clones reacting to this, maybe? We could have seen Mace Windu telling Obi-Wan about Jango's death and then Obi-Wan belatedly realizing that they don't know what happened to Jango's child in the chaos. "The Clone Wars" television show ended up doing so much heavy lifting emotionally for this trilogy, because these movies are way too busy with unnecessary Jar-Jar Binks and Threepio physical comedy in all the wrong places.

"Revenge of the Sith" as far as I remember is at least too busy finally focusing on everything going to hell and the tragedy to fit in a jarring sidekick comedy sequence during any final battle. Can you even imagine? Anakin is murdering younglings and the movie keeps cutting back to Threepio and Jar-Jar tripping over droids and shrieking trying to escape Coruscant? I don't remember the movie that well. If there actually is a sidekick physical comedy sequence through the end of the fights in "Revenge of the Sith" that I have blocked from my memory, then I am going to scream into a pillow.

[yarameijer]

Hi, miss Yara! How are you doing? Good things, I hope! I wanted to ask you about something if you don't mind sharing? I'm really curious about your unpublished Tenma-centric fic where he's the only human and everyone is a supernatural. It reminds me so much of 'Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun!' and the similar concept is really interesting! I was hoping if you could share some things about it? If you don't mind, of course! You can ignore this if you'd like. Stay safe!

I'm good I'm good, just super busy once more, but alas that's life.

Ooh, the Supernatural AU, I haven't worked on that one in ages but I do love the concept of it still. I don't have a lot for it but I can give you some info on what I had in mind:

There's basically this societal hierarchy of creatures, and humans are firmly at the very bottom. While there used to be a very clear divide historically, for all species except humans that's been decreasing in modern times.

Racism towards humans is insane. Think of not being allowed into stores or cafés, working the least-paying jobs, certain areas of the city they're not allowed to be in unless they had the necessary paperwork. It's definitely supposed to be extreme, and based on historical examples of racism. They'd only be allowed to live in designated neighborhoods, which I was considering might have some actual fence or barrier around it - including a curfew. Again, I haven't figured out how bad it would actually be, since it's a sensitive topic and it depends on how well it would fit the plot, but there's definitely racism.

Raimon is one of the few ''all-inclusive'' schools, where all species are welcomed - they are distinguished by the colors of their uniform, though. Specifically the lightning bolts.

Some schools are more like private schools for one specific species (this is also usually the case for humans).

While Raimon does allow humans, tuition is very expensive, so there's only a handful of humans actually attending. Tenma is one of them.

Tenma is actually luckier than most, and there's one simple reason for it; Aki. They're still related, but she's not human, while he is (tbh it really depends on how much human or other blood you have that impacts what you actually are). She's as much as a sweetheart as she is in the anime and doesn't care that Tenma is human; he still lives with her instead of the human neighborhoods, and there's enough money to send him to Raimon.

While it's not against the school's rules, no humans are really part of any clubs. It's just not done.

At least, not until Tenma accidentally shows off his soccer skills in front of the team and Endou decides he's got to have this kid on his team. He tries to convince Tenma to join the team without much success, but eventually wears him down - also because Tenma being part of the team would sort of give him this protection at school? Anyway, eventually Tenma agrees to join.

The rest of Raimon does not agree with this. They give Tenma a very hard time; some of them aren't so bad (Shinsuke and Aoi) but others are pretty horrible to him.

I had this idea for a scene where multiple teams are actually present; maybe during the starting ceremony of the Holy Road, or a training weekend? Yeah, the other teams are also pretty dismissive towards him (and also make fun of Raimon,  they've basically become a laughing stock for having a human on the team and that's only more reason for them to dislike him) and there would be some physical altercation where I can just imagine some of Raimon's worse players being present and just, uh, letting it happen.

ANYWAY. Over time and through forced exposure, the team slowly realizes Tenma isn't so bad.

I actually had an idea for another scene where, just before a match, Tenma gets attacked by some opponents of theirs when he's alone and proceeds to not tell anyone about this because they've already got enough to complain about when it comes to him, and being so obviously weak would make it worse. He ends up playing in the match and Shindou would find out because their opponents mock them; he confronts Tenma, pretty pissed off, and Tenma snaps back. That's the moment Shindou begins to realize he might have been wrong, and also the turning point for the team.

In the end Raimon becomes a damn good team and Tenma gains really great friends; whenever anyone tries anything, Raimon is ready to defend him.

I had this vague idea that humans that work as servants for a non-human and are given this sort of, insignia or badge that is basically a sign that this human is protected or works for someone, that's infused with protective magic and whoever they work for has an insignia connected to it, for example to show location. It's uh, sometimes a good thing, and sometimes it's kind of like how you'd treat a pet? Like, this human is under my protection and therefore it would piss me off if someone else did something to them. Anyway, Raimon eventually custom ordering a lightning-shaped pendant and each of them having a bracelet connected to it that Tenma can basically use as an alarm button if someone bothers him, and Raimon will come running. It's also got some pretty nasty protective spells built into it.

More and more people, like the Earth Eleven, get on board with this idea and request a bracelet too. So basically if Tenma is ever in trouble he'll be able to alert like, 40 people at once who will all come running to help him. He's got a network.

He does use it, at some point, and ooh boy. No one dares to try anything for a long time after that.

Oh, Tenma still ends up as captain in this AU!

I've got less of an idea for the plot (except the start), but more individual scenes and the worldbuilding. Might get around to it again someday, because it still sounds like a fun idea to me. Hope this answered some of your questions!

[cosmicjoke]

As an eruri shipper I wanted to thank you for your callout post. For nearly a year now I have gotten so much hate on my fics that I thought about deleting them, I haven't tho, thankfully. I found out about the spiteful troll and so I did my best to ignore it. However, the hateful comments my work was getting was beyond me because I hardly ever care what people ship or do and was simply minding my business writing what I like only to be told that I'm a jealous loser and I should stop writing Levi together with the "ugly bitch" (referring to Erwin) and that I should touch grass or slit my throat ... which?? And they made it sound like shipping Levi with a man was illegal or that the ship was inappropriate in some way.

I don't know who is really behind those hateful comments but if it's really her I hope karma hits her way very hard. Don't tell people to kill themselves over fiction EVER. That's common decency.

And about some eruris seeing you as an anti shipper. I'll admit I thought you were one as well. It didn't bother me as everyone is free to do whatever they want, but it's a pleasant surprise to know you actually like the ship and write fics for it. If anything, I admire how you can put your shipping goggles aside to write your analyses. It's very impressive.

Don't know if this is relevant but self shippers scare me a bit. Some of them have mean girls energy and I don't want to be attacked so that's why I'm staying on anon🙏🏻

First of all, let me truly thank you from the bottom of my heart for reaching out. It means the world to me, and I admire you for sharing your experience too. I'm super glad to hear that you didn't let the person leaving hateful comments on your stories drive you to delete them. I understand completely where you're coming from, as I've deleted stories of mine in the past due to an overabundance of negative comments. But I've never had anyone actually leave me death threats, or wish for harm to befall me on any of my stories, and to do that is truly the lowest of the low. Not just because it's over something as harmless as a piece of fictional writing, but just in general, it's never okay to wish harm on someone who's never harmed anyone else, or over something as ridiculous as a disagreement.

And yes, given what I've seen from this person on twitter, claiming Erwin is some "old man", they seem to think shipping him and Levi is tantamount to pedophilia, which is so absurd it doesn't even warrant a response. Erwin is at most maybe 5 years older than Levi? If even? They're both in their 30s. Shipping them is totally normal and healthy, lol.

I just think this person has some sort of raging, disgusting prejudice against gay relationships, and they view all gay relationships as perverse in some way. It's truly their problem, not anyone else's. I don't know either if it's the same person I got into an argument with here on tumblr, but so much of the language is the same, and the things they say are so similar to what was being said on twitter and a03, that I'm more than inclined to believe it is the same person. I can only hope my post helps inform more people about them and what a toxic, horrible person they are. Hopefully it will lead to them being blocked so that it isn't so easy for them to harass others. Though I already know they have multiple accounts here on tumblr, since they saw my post and started ranting about it on their blog, even though I had them blocked.

It also means the world to me to know that I've been able to clear up with you my stance on eruri and shipping in general. That was big of you to not be bothered by me when you did think I was an anti, but I'm glad I was able to show you that I'm not. I'm really, really not, lol. I love eruri. It's my favorite ship, and all my favorite AoT fanfics are eruri fics, lol. You can find comments I've left on too many to count at this point. I just try to keep it out of discussions which focus on "Attack on Titan" itself and Levi's role within the story, because I just don't see his relationship with Erwin in canon as romantic. I just think you have to keep the ship separate from canon because if you're going into an analysis of the narrative and Levi's or Erwin's role in it with some preconceived idea that their relationship is romantic in nature, then that's going to color one's ability to objectively analyze the motivations and the reasoning behind both Levi's and Erwin's actions. But I was never, ever against the ship, or against the idea of them being shipped. I think I got the reputation of being an anti because for a long time, I was being inundated with anon asks basically accusing me of being homophobic for saying eruri isn't canon, or anon asks trying to "prove" to me that it is canon and then getting angry at me when I disagreed, or when I lost my patience with them for simply not accepting my stance on this issue. And I think this small group of people then went around to other eruri's and spread to them that I was some sort of aggressive eruri hater. But again, I never was and never will be. I talk more about Levi's relationship with Erwin than any other character, and I find their canon relationship to be incredibly moving and powerful, and further, I love Erwin as a character. One thing I hope all of this will also do is make it clear to other eruri shippers that I'm not against them or their ship at all. I really don't want to be anyone's enemy, least of all eruri shippers. That was never something I set out to do, haha.

But yes, I'm right there with you regarding some self-shippers. Obviously, most of them aren't like this person. Most of them are normal and understand what they write and do is just for fun. But after "Bad Boy" came out, it seemed like the most push back against analysis of that story and its implications came from the self-shipping community, particularly people that seem to actually labor under some sort of delusion of actually, truly being with Levi in a romantic, sexual relationship. I don't understand that at all, because Levi isn't real, lol.

But they seem to get so upset at any discussion of Levi's trauma, or of Levi being affected by his trauma, because acknowledging that trauma and the impact its had on him ruins whatever fantasy, dom-daddy version of Levi it is that they've concocted in their heads. They like to claim Levi is some hard-ass, stoic, unaffected, domineering sex god, because that's what turns them on, and any discussion about what the actual reality of Levi's sexuality would likely be, due to the sexual trauma he's been exposed to, needs to be shut down, because it ruins the fantasy they have. They can't claim that the way they characterize Levi is objective or accurate to canon if Levi's sensitivity or vulnerability as a person is acknowledged, so they like to claim he's not affected at all by his past trauma, that he's just too hardcore to ever succumb to or be profoundly impacted by the things he's lived through. They like to imagine he's just come out the other side totally a-okay and that his stoicism and rudeness is 100% just a product of him being kind of a mean person, again, because they like the idea of being treated meanly by him in a sexual setting.

But Levi isn't a mean person, at all. He's literally the opposite of mean. He's the most thoughtful and considerate character in the series, constantly going out of his way to express his gratitude and ease the suffering of others. He's just awkward, like Dimo Reeves says, and isn't good at filtering his words or expressing himself. That some of these people refuse to acknowledge that the way Levi grew up, the environment he grew up in and the way he was raised, didn't have an impact on his ability to navigate social situations is patently absurd and stupidly unrealistic. It also undermines the severity of abuse Levi suffered in his upbringing, to deny that it had any sort of negative or harmful impact on his ability to interact socially with others. He was raised by a serial killer, for Christ's sake, lol. He wasn't ever taught how to talk to people in a way that would make them more comfortable. He was only ever taught violence and how to kill by Kenny, and he was too young when his mother died to learn anything from her, and he was also abandoned and left on his own at the age of ten, in the most cutthroat, dangerous environment there is inside the walls, surrounded by criminals, rapist, murderers and human traffickers, as well as just desperate people who would resort to plenty of bad shit just to survive. He probably didn't have a single, normal social interaction in his life until he met Furlan and Isabel. I would like these people to explain to me, then, how it is they think that didn't have an impact on the way Levi interacts with others?

He's an exceptionally honest person, too, and he also isn't someone who's concerned with being well-liked, so he doesn't try to ingratiate himself to others by acting friendly. But Levi never sets out to hurt anyone's feelings. He isn't malicious or cruel. He just says what he's thinking and sometimes it comes out sounding unkind. And we see, when Levi realizes it, that he tries to explain himself, again, not because he wants to be liked, but because he doesn't actually ever intend to hurt anyone's feelings. This idea that Levi is a mean person is totally wrong.

Anyway, I went off on a bit of tangent there, lol. Sorry about that. But again I just want to reiterate how much I appreciate you reaching out like this! And don't let these freak shows get you down.

[essence-inked]

So I’ve heard a surprising amount of people respond to the genocide against Palestine with things along the lines of “Well, you have to understand that…” and then go on to explain why, according to them, Israel has experienced context that justifies their actions.

Except, there is no context that justifies genocide. There is no context that justifies bombing hospitals and homes, or killing children - or anyone, for that matter - or treating people as sub-human, or all the rest of the atrocities being committed.

I remember when this first majorly hit the news. I had one particular conversation with someone about it who was horrified at Hamas’ actions, and I pointed out to them that they couldn’t very well take issue with Hamas until they took issue with all the atrocities people in power in Israel have committed against the people in Palestine. They were quick to say that this didn’t justify Hamas’ actions, and I responded that yes, exactly. Causing harm to other people when it isn’t explicitly to defend yourself or others isn’t okay, and that is exactly why nothing justifies the genocide Israel is committing. You can’t pick and choose when to be horrified about people getting murdered or raped or blown to bits by bombs. None of that is EVER justifiable.

And just real quick? Notice that fighting back against armed soldiers sent to kill you isn't on the list of unjustifiable things. Defending yourself or others against an attacker and resisting occupation is perfectly damn justifiable, and anyone who tries to compare that to actual war crimes can go right ahead and piss off. I’ve run into people conflating Hamas committing war crimes with Palestinians generally resisting occupation, and using that to say “resistance bad,” which is some truly next level bullshit.

But the critical thing here is that this is not a conversation about Hamas. If your response to a genocide is to say “but look at those guys over there also commiitting war crimes in response to the much, much larger scale war crimes,” that is not a defense - that’s a deflection. You can’t address the result of a genocide until you address - and fully stop - the genocide itself.

One tool I’ve found recently to put this in perspective is that if you go to the wikipedia article for war crimes committed during all of this, there’s a section for Hamas, and there’s a section for Israel. Notice how long it takes to physically scroll through the section for Israel vs. how quickly it takes to scroll through the section for Hamas - that’s a pretty good example of how staggeringly unequal the scale is in this. To be absolutely clear here, war crimes are horrific regardless of who’s committing them and regardless of the scale - the thing I’m trying to say is that it’s fucking absurd to do the equivilent of point to a house on fire and say “oh no that’s terrible, someone should do something about that immediately,” and then turn and look at an entire city ablaze nearby and say “well I’m sure that’s on fire for a reason.”

This is all to say that, at least what I’ve figured out over the course of various conversations - and the thing that I’m hoping might be helpful to people trying to raise awareness - is that when you’re talking about Palestine with someone who’s pro-Israel, it’s absolutely critical to not get sidetracked. This is not about Hamas, this is not about complicated politics, this is not about context. Plain and simple, this is about genocide, and about the fact that nothing - absolutely fucking nothing - justifies that.

[sapphire-weapon]

just woke up to a shitton of asks

some of you are really new here, huh

let me be very clear about who i am and what this blog is.

i am not your personal army. my blog does not exist for you to vent your frustrations on in hopes that i will share those frustrations and then go attack people for them.

i do not write meta posts with the intentions of debunking aeon for the sake of sticking it to the shippers. i analyze the story of resident evil as it was written, and debunkings of aeon happen to fall out of that on their own. i am not doing it on purpose, and i will not write up a post to try to prove your point about whatever stupid bullshit fandom thing you're mad about if the text does not support your conclusion.

i am not going to wage a war against aeon fandom.

i do not fucking care about aeon fandom.

i don't care what they're doing or saying about or to anyone. whatever they're saying or doing is not my fucking problem. if they've harassed you or given you shit, that sucks, but i don't really care. your failure to block people on social media is not my fucking problem.

i am being 100% sincere when i say that i find their mass reporting of this blog funny. i was laughing about this with my roommate last night so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes. when i say that what aeon fandom is doing isn't my problem, i mean it. even though they went after my personal blog, it's still not my problem, because it is not a problem. i have real problems in my life. this is not one of them.

so if you're here because you think i'm going to be the big dick defending you against a group of teenagers on the internet -- if you're here because you think i'm going to be your voice -- or if you're here because you want to try to incite me to wage some kind of war against a group of teenagers on the internet -- you are overinvested, and you need to touch grass.

the second you cross the line from "this is an interesting phenomenon" or "this is worth a laugh" into legitimate anger that is actually causing you real stress and is affecting your mood and your behavior, you are in too deep, and you need to go outside.

the problem is not aeon fandom, in that case.

the problem is you.

you are fucking toxic. and i don't want you here.

[shockersalvage]

Salvage Showcase - Mukuro Ikusaba....'s Cult

Back to Killer Killer, home of Danganronpa's most wasted potential in terms of characters, settings and concepts.

Last time we spoke of Ted Chikatilo and how the writers didn't want him to be anything beyond an Ultimate mad bomber. So this time we have the penultimate villains of Killer Killer: the Cult of Mukuro Ikusaba!

Summary

Like with many villains and characters from Killer Killer, the cult's background prior to the events of the manga is unknown. What is known is that they are women who are very devoted to one of the Despair Sisters - Mukuro Ikusaba. It's to the point that they all dressed in exact copies of her old school uniform and modify themselves to look like her physically (by some method anyway).

The cult first appeared following a report that the deceased Mukuro Ikusaba broke out and was attacking the 8th Branch. When Takumi, Misaki and Shuji arrive they found Ruruka's security detail slaughtered and confront Mukuro. But she isn't alone, she is with an entire horde of lookalikes that attack them. But, despite their efforts, none of the Mukuro's are a match for Takumi and they begin to suffer heavy losses. Takumi is pretty angry since he considers them a bunch of cheap knockoffs that couldn't hope to compare to the real Mukuro. He gives them a 0/100 for their murders (putting on the same level as Kenji Tsuruhashi).

It's during this fight that Misaki is really grappling with the idea of Takumi being Killer Killer, not wanting him to kill them. She even goes out of her way to knock a few out with muscle relaxant ammo so that they could be taken in without need for killing...only for Takumi to save her from the last batch by slicing them in half. Confirming that he is Killer Killer once and for all in her mind....

And then a second later she gets stabbed by Shuji. Turns out he hired the cult as a form of shock therapy for Takumi, to get him to stop being Killer Killer, but that failed. He was going to kill Misaki, but several of the Future Foundation Directors and Ikue Dogami arrive on the scene. Shuji escapes by detonating a bomb inside the pocket of a Mukuro and using the explosion to run away. If the cult wasn't completely killed by Takumi, the survivors that were knocked out would have been arrested. No matter what, they are out of commission for the rest of the story.

The cult is pretty straightforward and all hold pretty much the same demeanor. They are a bunch of women that worship Mukuro Ikusaba and imitate her down to the T. They seem to act as mercenaries given Shuji was able to get their aid in his plot, and hold immense skill given just one is able to slaughter numerous security guards without effort. However, against Killer Killer, or even someone skilled with a gun, they are able to be taken down en masse, showing they still lag behind the original Mukuro. In battle, they are hyper focused on killing anyone in their path, even when hurt or other cultists die. They will not give up until someone has either killed them or knocked them out.

Rundown

In Killer Killer, if I were to provide it a theme, it would have to be Passion vs Shallowness. To have true drive for your profession and do things out of love for what you really want to do. That's Takumi's whole deal with his murders and what he criticizes the villains of Killer Killer for lacking, to varying degrees. Their passion isn't for murder, but using it as a means for their own goals.

In the cultists case, their Passion is Mukuro Ikusaba. Sadly, we never get a reason why they worship her, but it's clear they hold her in some mahor esteem given their appearance and actions. They are utterly devoted to the late Ultimate Soldier and giving it their all for her, even if it costs them greatly...

But Takumi ranks them 0. Putting them, in the same vein as Kenji who is really the epitome of the Shallowness theme. He kills out of a means for an end. No love for it at all besides the backlash it can cause others. No regards to people's lives, especially the one he stole. So why is the cult, who clearly hold a strong passion for something, strongly disliked by Takumi?

Well, he says it best:

They may love Mukuro, but they hold no true love for their actions. They're fangirls that commit atrocities to be like their idol, but with the case of some fans, utterly miss the point of what she's about in their quest to be like her. (Ironically, so is Takumi, but that is something for another time...). If Kenji is Shallowness to the extreme of just doing something for the practical benefit, the cultists of Mukuro are Shallowness to the extent that they are doing it out of obligation. 'If they want to be like Mukuro then clearly they have to kill whoever is in their sights!' In Takumi's eyes, it pretty much just reduced murder as apart of something to check off on a list if they want to be like someone's replica of all things. An extreme offense in Takumi's eyes, which is why he outrights fails him.

That isn't to say they don't succeed in being like their idol in some degree. Both the cultists and Mukuro were used as means to an end by the Masterminds of their respective entries. What separates them in turn is that Junko did legitimately love her sister, getting a euphoric sense of despair for killing someone she loved with all her heart (just like she got before when she killed her boyfriend).

Shuji, though, did not give a feather about them beyond their use in potentially getting Takumi to quit being Killer Killer. He leaves any potential survivors to be arrested, if they weren't slaughtered by Takumi, and even blows up a cultists body to escape from being arrested. While their idol was at least loved enough by her killer who used Mukuro's aid to alter their world forever, the imitations end up as just collateral damage in Shuji's pipe dream that only resulted in both Mastermind and his hired goons demises. It's the worst end by a long shot for them.

On a minor note, the cultists being taken care of so easily by both Takumi, and even dispatched by Misaki, also wraps back around the dilemma with the Madarai clan and the Despair Sisters issue of quality for quality. Danganronpa is a series that values individuals talent and being unique (even it can be detrimental). Trying to mimic someone else, while it can throw people off for a bit, will never work against someone genuinely being original and just makes yourself predictable to being outplayed. Again and again. It's funny how in their quest to be like Mukuro, the wound up making the same mistake Mukuro criticizes the Madarai of doing.

Personal Thoughts

As a concept, I love the Mukuro Cult! When it comes to Ultimate Despair, while it very much makes sense that Junko would be the head honcho revered by its members, the fact Mukuro (essentially its co-founder) was left by the wayside was a bit sad, though it made perfect sense.

But these guys? The fact Mukuro herself had an entire cult dedicated to her is amazing! Like with the Warriors of Hope for Junko, it gives the feeling that these girls were larger than life and had clear influence that still wreaked havoc on society even beyond the grave! It's a excellent idea...

But like with most things in Killer Killer, it's extremely undercooked. While Another Episode goes very in-depth to show why the Warriors worship Junko and love her to the point of being inspired by her to make their paradise/being a devious pickle gremlin, the cult gets nothing. No real reason why they worship Mukuro or how they got to perfectly look like her. They're just fakers who can't compare to Takumi and go down after pissing him off.

While not as bad as Ted's deal, the writing feels like they just wanted a shock factor for their brief screentime, rather than legitimately explore the concept in any meaningful capacity. What if they were women who were taken in by the Remnants, broken by society and given meaning by becoming Mukuro? Or maybe they somehow admired Mukuro being sacrificed for someone else, and wanted to become her to get a fate like that? Maybe they were girls that Mukuro ended up saving while during her Fenrir days so becoming her and carrying on her legacy, if misguided, was their way of honoring her?

There's so much you can do with this concept...and it went to waste just as fast. It's a pity, but what can you do?

Aftermath

Concerning this Killer Killer showcase from last time, while I do still believe Ted is just a flash without substance character, I also feel that I did lean a bit too hard with it in terms of my rundown and personal thoughts (I didn't even give the theme for Killer Killer for last time). So I wanted to be a bit more structured again and dial back more of my dislike of Killer Killer as a whole. Is it still the worst of the series to me? Yes, and I will call it out for that, but I don't want that to really get too much in the way of analysis for the casts of these guys. I hope this works out much better!

[joshuaorrizonte]

Untitled Chapter Twelve: Dragonslayer

@eventide-imp @zottower

Comment to be tagged/untagged!

Kain stared at Michel and Petre, not understanding what they were saying. “What… why would a dragon not Stormsong want anything to do with me?” he protested, gaze shifting between them rapidly.

“We were hoping you knew that,” Michel said evenly. “In any event, we must go back to Elymont-“

“No.” 

“Ash?” Kain looked at the porter, who was staring at the two peacekeepers in open hostility.

Ash shook his head firmly. “Who are these people, Kain, and how do you know they’re telling the truth?”

Petre gasped in fury, “I’m not going to let an elf-“

“Petre!” Michel barked. The younger man quieted, seething, and Michel looked back at Ash. “Fair questions. Petre and I are peacekeepers from the village Kain grew up in.” Kain noticed Michel’s phrasing with a sharp pain in his heart. So it was the village he grew up in, and not his village… “As for how you know we’re telling the truth, you don’t. But Kain knows we would not lie-“

“Kain knows nothing of the sort,” Kain replied hotly. Michel’s eyes widened in surprise and Kain finished, “I ran when the elder wanted to hold me against my will and ‘undo the night elf’s brainwashing. I have no assurance whatsoever that this isn't merely a ploy to get me to return."

Michel’s face reddened. "I would never-"

"Wouldn't you?" Kain demanded. "How do I know you wouldn't, when you put me in that position in the first place!"

"I did not!" Michel thundered. "If anyone did, it was Petre-"

Petre snarled, "I did, and I'd do it again-"

"And that's why he's not going with you," Ash remarked dryly. "Come on, Kain."

"Wait!"

Michel’s voice was desperate, and Kain couldn't imagine that he was lying. He wasn't that good an actor. "Petre is an asshole. I'm not denying that."

"Michel-!"

"Shut up!" Michel snapped. "Petre is an asshole," he repeated, "but we're telling the truth! Thousands will die if you don't-"

"Michel, listen to me," Kain said steadily. "The dragons are gone. I don't know what destroyed Reythak, but it wasn't a dragon."

"It was, Kain," Petre spat. 

"How did it tell you it wanted me?" Kain challenged. "Dragons can't make human sound!"

"Kain, why would we tell such an obvious lie?" Michel gasped. 

His question finally gave Kain pause. Why would they tell such an obvious lie, indeed? It seemed that Ash had the same thought; " Well, how about this: describe it for us."

"Describe-?"

"The dragon," Kain answered, seeing what Ash was going for. "I'm a dragon rider. I know every breed of dragon there is. I may be able to tell what attacked you."

"What difference will it make?" Petre's voice was despairing, like he finally understood his position, and it didn't look good. "You already don't believe us, and as you say: no dragon could have done what this one did!" 

"Just do it," Kain clipped back. "I can't help if I don't have a clear picture of what's going on."

Michel's eyes narrowed at him, but he spoke anyway. "It was... it was huge. The biggest dragon I'd ever seen. It was black as the darkest night; its scales seemed to absorb light. Its wingspan seemed to run the width of the town. Its eyes were the deepest black, even darker than its scales-"

Kain stopped him with a wild, disbelieving gasp. "No!"

"Kain?" As Ash put a hand on his shoulder, Petre spoke his name, concern and dread thick in his voice. 

He had gone utterly pale and lightheaded. His heart beat erratically in utter terror, and for the very first time in his life, he was afraid he was going to pass out. His vision started going gray at the edges as he wheezed, "That dragon... was..."

"Easy, lad." 

"Who're you?" Ash demanded, his voice distant. 

"That doesn't matter right now. We need to get this poor boy a seat and some sugar-"

"Sugar?" 

"Later. Here, have him sit on this tree stump. There we go, just like that. I have some sugar water here-“

“Who carries sugar water?” Michel asked, bewildered.

The stranger replied sharply, “Someone with sugar sickness. Here, lad, drink up.”

The stranger pushed the bottle into his hands and helped guide the opening of the bottle to his mouth. He nearly choked on the cloying sweetness of the water, but he swallowed it with only a grimace. In seconds, the nausea and dizziness began to subside, and sound became clear again. 

Ash, Petre, and Michel continued talking with the stranger while Kain recovered. He listened closely, not quite believing he hadn’t hallucinated Michel’s description of the dragon. “Forgive me,” the strange man said as Kain looked him over. He was handsome, with sandy blond hair and ice blue eyes. He wore simple traveling garb and carried a leather pack; Kain saw no weapons on his person but a dagger. He had no doubt, from the confidence in the way the man moved, that he knew how to use it to defend himself. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation. That dragon you described: it spoke to you?”

Michel and Petre both nodded. “It did,” Petre said firmly. “And we’re to bring Kain - that man you just helped - back to him, or the dragon will destroy another town—this one a populous harbor city.”

The man’s eyes widened for a moment. His cold gaze turned to Kain, and Kain thought he saw something shift in his eyes. “I’m afraid you have a problem,” the man said solemnly, “that goes beyond this man’s life.”

“What problem is that?” Ash asked, rubbing Kain’s back in firm, soothing circles. He wanted to tell Ash that he could stop, but he still hadn’t found his voice. 

“That dragon you described,” the stranger said softly, “was Bahamut, the father of the dragons.”

At that confirmation, Kain felt the world fall out from beneath him.

~*~

Gavin walked carefully through the streets, making sure Liashta was always beside him. Every once in a while, noise pierced the quiet night. The howl of a stray dog; laughter, a scream. Liashta cringed beside him, but her steps did not falter. 

They had been walking for about an hour, Gavin guiding them down alleys and keeping to the shadows. As far as Gavin could tell, no one was following them. But this was a city of hidden danger, especially where they were. If whoever wanted him dead was following him, they'd strike here, where they could kill and leave him there, just another body in the street. And if they caught him like this, Liashta was dead, too. He couldn't let that happen. 

He was vaguely aware that Stormsong was still trying to guide them. He was tempted to resist her, force her to return to him and explain herself. He gritted his teeth against the impulse. She was, no matter what form she was in, a dragon. As a rider, he was subservient to her, and not the other way around. And she knew it, otherwise she wouldn't be doing this. 

He felt her pulling him towards a dilapidated, three-storied building. No light shone in its dingy windows; indeed, from what Gavin could tell, the thing had suffered a fire in recent history, likely was not safe to occupy. Still he felt Stormsong pulling them towards the building, and though he wanted to abandon her at that point, he knew he would never bring himself to do so. She was Kain’s dragon, and he would protect her no matter what happened.

But why did it matter so desperately what Kain thought? They were lovers, true, but it wasn’t like Gavin was in love with him. 

The thought gave him pause, as he headed for the dilapidated building, Liashta protesting behind him. When he felt a strange ache in his chest when he thought of Kain, a pain that intensified when he denied that he loved Kain. It was something to think about. 

In the meantime… “Trust me, Liashta.” He paused. “Or rather, trust Stormsong. She’s calling me here.”

“I can feel it, too,” Liashta admitted, “but are we really going to follow a child into a condemnable building?”

“We are,” Gavin confirmed. Liashta inhaled, intending to snap at him, and he headed her off, “Stormsong is the most qualified of the three of us to tell if something is safe or not. She’s telling me that we’ll be safe here. I have to trust her. And you do, too, by extension, because your alternative is to attempt to make it on your own. I don’t think you want to do that.”

“I don’t,” she agreed, grumbling the words. She quickened her steps to match Gavin’s, and they approached the structure together. Gavin tried the door and discovered it locked, the doorknob stubbornly refusing to turn. Gavin raised an eyebrow, and Liashta said, doubtfully, “Stormsong likely locked it for safety.”

Shrugging, Gavin knocked on the door. No response. With a frown, his knock turned to a pounding, and that got a response, an old man answering the door. He looked Gavin and Liashta up and down, his lip curling in derision. “What do you want, whippersnapper?” 

Taken aback, Gavin stuttered for a moment before finding his words. “A child of extraordinary power is supposedly here,” he said, his voice soft and unthreatening, the tones reminiscent of when he passed through Reythak. “She is-“

“A child, you say? No child here. Move along, move along. There’s nothing for-“

“It’s alright, Solaris. They’re the people I told you about.”

The man—Solaris—turned to look inside the house. “You sure, child? Changing appearances is easy magic-“

“I’m sure,” Stormsong’s calm, strangely mature voice answered. “Gavin has a very distinct aura. It’s him.”

“And his woman?”

Liashta growled, “I am not Gavin’s woman!”

Amused, Stormsong said dryly, “That’s her. Let them in, Solaris.”

Almost hesitantly, Solaris moved aside, and Gavin led Liashta into the building. The moment he stepped through, the room behind the door brightened, clean, well-lit, and beautifully furnished. There was no sign of the decay that plagued the outside of the building.

And there were others in the room. Stormsong sat on a plush couch with a woman and another child, and, as Gavin looked to Solaris for an explanation, the old man was suddenly young, younger than Gavin. Solaris grinned at Gavin’s confusion. “Changing appearances is easy magic,” he answered Gavin’s unasked question. “Stormsong says she’s a dragon. Is she telling the truth?”

“She is,” Gavin answered, as Liashta gawked at their surroundings.

“You’re her rider?”

At that, he shook his head slowly. “No. Her rider is… lost somewhere along the Eareux shore. I’m not sure where exactly he is.”

Solaris raised an eyebrow. “How do you know this? She told you? But that makes no sense; she should be able to pinpoint-“

“Before we go further,” Gavin interrupted flatly, “I’ll need information of my own. Who are you people? Why are you so scared of being found that you’ll mask this building with a glamour to make it look condemned?”

Solaris’s grin turned to a genuine smile. “We’re dragon singers, looking for the missing dragons.”

Understanding dawned on Gavin’s face. “I… I see. I am a dragon singer, as well. I’ve only encountered two dragons since they all vanished; Stormsong, and an ancient dragon being held prisoner by the governor of Elymont to… disappear undesireables.”

The woman asked, “A rider, singer, and dark knight? Are you collecting careers, elf?”

“Not collecting so much as falling into them,” Gavin answered, almost apologetically. "I can prove any of them, if you need me to."

"That won't be necessary," Solaris said. "You're only hurting yourself if you're lying. I am Solaris, as you've likely surmised. The woman is Adele, and the child Tristan. We're pleased to meet you, Gavin, Liashta. Stormsong tells us you are a singer as well, albeit untrained. We can help you with that, if you like."

Liashta cast a furtive, unsure glance at Gavin. Gavin shrugged, and Liashta swallowed thickly, thinking over her answer. "I... I'm not sure, to be honest. I didn't even know I had more magic than to encourage plants to grow, to be honest."

"Green magic is powerful magic," Solaris said, grimacing. "You need to be trained in that, at least. Won't you allow us to help you? Stormsong has told us of your goals, and we want to assist in any way we can."

Gavin and Liashta looked at each other, both of them hesitant. "Time is of the essence," Gavin answered. "I don't think we have the time to train her."

Solaris and Adele, too, exchanged looks. "You're headed to Darkfell, correct?" Adele said, her voice thick with an accent. "I could train her along with Tristan. Solaris could go with you to Darkfell-"

"Sorry, but no," Stormsong said flatly. "You're not separating us. I know I came to you for help, but we just met. I trust you're who you say you are, and that we're safe here for now. I don't trust you enough to let you separate us."

Solaris looked at her appraisingly. "You're wise beyond your appearance," he said after a moment. "We mean you no harm at all, but I suppose I'd refuse to be separated in your position, too. Is there anything holding us here, Adele?"

"Stability for Tristan," Adele replied haltingly, "but this life isn't very stabile itself. But to take him on the road to Darkfell would be..."

"I want to go."

All eyes turned to Tristan. The boy hadn't spoken at all since Gavin and Liashta arrived; and judging from Stormsong's expression, not since she arrived, either. "I want to go," he repeated, meekly. "I want to help find the dragons. I don't want to be a rider with no dragon."

"Tristan-" Solaris began. 

But Tristan wasn't having it. "No, listen to me! Lightdust begged me to save her as she was being taken. She was terrified, Solaris. Stormsong resisted it so hard she transformed into a human and can't change back! The dragons didn't want to go, and as a rider, I'm obligated to-"

"You're a child-"

"Sol!" Tristan shouted, startling them all. "I'm old enough to have seen my parents murdered in front of me, I'm old enough to have bonded with a dragon, and I'm old enough to help rescue her!"

They stared at him, taken aback by the outburst. As Adele was about to respond, Gavin interrupted bluntly, "Wait, did Lightdust tell you what was happening?"

Tristan, startled by Gavin's tone, looked at him with wide eyes. "She - she did. But I don't understand what she was talking about."

"Tell me!"

"Gavin?" Liashta prompted, trepidation in her voice. 

"You don't understand," Gavin said tightly. "I have to know what happened to them, Liashta. The whole reason I was in Reythak was to investigate what happened to them - and to rescue them, at all costs. I-"

"And who ordered you to do that?" Liashta challenged. "Drayden? He's dead, Gavin! You don't have to obey his commands-"

"No, Liashta, His Majesty. The king sent me with those orders. I have to obey these orders. And even if I didn't have to, I want to." He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. "Drayden told me before he died that he was planning to invade the Light Continent. I doubt his aspirations died when he did. We need to find the dragons before whoever steps into his shoes can reorganize and consolidate power. If that happens, and no one had their dragons, we win, Liashta. We will win against the Light Continent in every scenario. Do you want that? I don't!"

Liashta stared at him, horrified. "What... what do you mean?" Adele asked, her voice almost gentle. "Who is Drayden?"

"Drayden is - was - the captain of the Darkfell dragon riders. He held a massive amount of political power. I'd say he was the third most powerful person in Eeraux, only second to the king and queen. He had significant influence, and if he convinced his followers that he had the blessing of the court, there will be a war the Light continent can't win."

Solaris and Adele stared at him in utter disbelief. "You said that His Majesty directed you to find the dragons personally," Adele said. And this time her voice was hard. "Your surname wouldn't happen to be Skyglow, would it, Gavin?"

Gavin's voice was flat, resigned, almost lifeless as he answered, "Yes. I am Gavin Skyglow."

Tristan launched himself at Gavin with a strangled, enraged scream. Solaris caught him and hauled him back, snapping at the boy to control his emotions. "Monster!" the boy shrieked. "Get out! Get out!"

"Tristan!" Adele snapped, and said something fast and angry in a language Gavin didn't speak. Tristan replied, furious sobs ripping from his chest. 

Adele turned to them, her expression coldly enraged. "You have three minutes to explain why we should help you, Skyglow."

"I don't understand," Liashta murmured, looking from Adele to Gavin. The dark knight looked horrifically exhausted suddenly, agonizingly sad. He said nothing, though, and Liashta looked back to Adele, Solaris, and Tristan. “Someone tell me what’s going on!”

“Gavin Skyglow has another name,” Solaris said, every bit as suddenly cold as Adele. Liashta’s heart froze as Solaris spat it, derision in his voice: Gavin the Dragonslayer.”

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

Graywing isn't a enabler.

I apologize to Bonefall @bonebabbles for knicking the screenshots and a bit of your analysis that i struggled to put into words for years, but my DOTC books are back in Canada and for some reason I can't find good pdfs of the books.

"He just needs reassurance" Gray Wing said to the dictator who is just so sad about his son not wanting to be around him after he emotionally abused him including a double bind and shoving his face into his friend's pussing wound.

"Wasn't it nice years ago before you went on a power trip and started murdering people left and right? Remember when we stopped freezing and starving and you immediately started laying claim to everything?"

Bonus: Gray Wing holds grudges because Turtle Tail is his property- I mean, wife, against a domestic abuse victim who is begging for safety away from her abuser.

This, which leads to,

"Even with Bumble dying from wounds inflicted by Clear Sky beside him, Gray Wing couldn't help but swoon over Clear Sky's need to throw his weight around and urge to slaughter any creature that steps foot on 'his' land. What other cat would leap into the midst of a group investigating the murders he absolutely committed when he has a history of extreme hostility towards anyone who isn't licking his heels?

There, fixed that sentence.

Clear Sky had no problem killing Misty and suggesting slaughtering her orphaned babies. He beat Bumble until she fell unconscious, something that had NEVER happened in the series up to that point. EVER. And Clear Sky is a liar. He absolutely killed Bumble.

BULL. SHIT. But Gray Wing eats this up. He hopes against Hope that His Heroic Brother can explain his Innocence! Even Clear Sky was shocked Gray Wing thought he was 'innocent'. But let's get one thing very Clear. (Lol)

If that story is true, that means he still beat Bumble unconscious. Which means this odd non biting fox (because she wasn't bitten) got its chance to attack her and finish her off. He would still be responsible. If I shove someone into the road and someone ELSE hits them with a car, I AM STILL AT FAULT. I WILL BE CHARGED WITH MURDER.

And Gray Wing doesn't care. Only that he doesn't have call his Big Brother the killer he IS.

Because...

Who gives a shit about the fat, abused, traumatized, starving native woman who bled to death, PEOPLE DON'T LIKE MY PERFECT COLONISER BROTHER ANYMORE WAHHH

And even after the bullshit 'apology' after The First Battle because Clear Sky was "just scared of seeing others starve" (despite nearly starving a long time friend to death) Gray Wing REFUSES to see reason. Refuses to call his beloved brother out for ripping open women like bags of potato chips.

This? This is enabling. Convincing yourself there is good in someone when they prove time and time again they will not change is being enabling. Refusing to put a stop to bad behavior until you suddenly land in its crosshairs 'kill me and live with the knowledge you killed someone who actually matters unlike the natives you slaughtered'

Also...

THUNDER DID. THUNDER. SAW. IT. HE SPENT TIME WITH CLEAR SKY. DID YOU NOT THINK TO MAYBE ASK HIM, GRAY WING THE

"WISE?"

[furiousgoldfish]

Happy birthday!!! Idk if your birthday is difficult for you in any way, but I hope you feel some joy about the fact that you've made it this far. Hopefully you did something fun for it!!

Your blog has been an amazing resource for me. I've never been physically or sexually abused- just a nice variety of neglect and social isolation :D And because neglect is not as well recognized as other forms of abuse, it was difficult for me to reconcile that my parents are abusive, but your blog helped me realize that I am, indeed traumatized. Some of your posts resonate with me so much. They make me realize I'm not alone, dramatic, or crazy. That my pain is real, and all that.

Seeing someone else struggle and work through trauma similar to your own is important for healing, I think. You've shown me that it's possible, though painful, to heal and make something of yourself. The trauma will never "go away", and we'll never be "normal" (whatever that is), but it doesn't have to be end of us.

Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. You've helped countless people by spilling your guys, and writing amazing posts.

I always go into holidays and birthdays optimistically, like 'oh I'll be fine, years have passed and surely the trauma wore off' then act surprised when I suddenly get attacks and meltdowns. Who could have predicted this. Not me.

My recovery period does get shorter though, and that's all it matters, seeing progress.

Thank you for all of the kind words you've said to me in your ask, I do want to point out that neglect and social isolation can be absolutely devastating to a child, as attention, interaction, caring touch and social acceptance is absolutely vital for growing up healthy, and missing out on all that makes a very disadvantaged, traumatized person. I didn't realize it either, just how bad neglect it, before reading Complex PTSD from Pete Walker, where it's pointed out and explained in detail, that just the absence of neglect and receiving care can stop someone from developing ptsd altogether after experiencing trauma. It also points out that victims of abuse and neglect will often go and choose abuse rather than suffer neglect, they will want interaction even if that interaction is filled with pain and hatred. That's how bad neglect and isolation are. We are likely to choose to be actively hurt than to be abandoned, alone, without a connection in the world.

Last thing I need to point out is that you already are someone. Just by the fact of existing, you already are someone in this world. It can be very difficult to see it, isolated and with no clear place in current society, but we're all someone even if we don't do anything about it, we don't have to 'make' ourselves, just figure out what fulfills us and go after that. I know abusive parents like to act like this isn't true and they go telling children 'you'll never make anything out of yourself', like that's even a possibility. We're all someone by default. Our choices lie in whether we managed to go and also be happy as ourselves. We don't need to prove that we're something, to anyone.

I agree with everything else you say, even if trauma persists, that's not the end of us, we're still people, and often good, kind, compassionate and capable people. We don't get to see it, because we're not put in a place where our virtues can shine, and out best traits are instead often used against us, but that doesn't change who we are.

I'm glad you can tell that your pain is real, and I'm really sorry you've been put thru all of this, and had to find the resources yourself to make sense of it all. You deserve more resources and support than this blog. Thank you for everything kind you've said to me, it really means a lot to me to read it.

[samijey]

Based on your last answer, do you think even after everything Sami kind of doesn't Associate Jey with the bloodline? Like separate almost, like he knows Jey doesn't want to be there? He legit felt safe enough to approach him alone in a dark corner not even entertaining the fact Jey could attack him.

It's like Roman and Sami both know Jey has one foot out the door, his heart isn't in it, he just needs the right push, hear the right thing. Sami is trying to talk to him, Roman lies, manipulates and apparently now trying to murder him. Jey is torn, I love they didn't drop this. It's still so clear, who knows what would have happened if Solo came down and got his ass back in gear. It's only a matter of time and everyone but Jey knows this.

As a reader and writer Jey is so compelling.

God anon I have so many thoughts about everything you just said... for me, the moment Jey stood up for Sami at the trial, he became... okay this is going to sound corny but bear with me, he became the shining light in Sami's life - Sami had already betrayed Kevin and likely felt so bad about it that he'd temporarily given up hope of ever making amends with his best friend.

After months and months of puting himself through constant physical pain and even worse emotional pain, always walking on eggshells because Roman would constantly test him over and over, and he was never quite sure whether a beat down was just around the corner or not, Sami had visibly had enough at that point.

I believe Paul burying him at the trial and no one saying a word to dispute his claims was the final drop for Sami and he was just about done - this is my interpretation given the fact that he did not present a defense and that when Solo went to spike him, Sami did not struggle and instead looked resigned, as if he was thinking "it was good while it lasted but deep down I knew I'd never find a place to belong." We know that's what Sami's always wanted - either as a heel or as a face, Sami's character always works the angle of wanting respect - the Bloodline provided that for him and it came with the added bonus of companionship and essentially a family that he loved.

No wonder Sami was so happy in the Bloodline for that brief period when things were good - he had respect, he had a place to belong and he had a family??? What an amazing deal!

So when it looked like all of that had crumpled to dust at the trial, that's the moment Jey stops Solo's arm and that's when everything changes and suddenly Sami has another chance and holy shit this guy he worked so hard to befriend loves him to the point of sticking out his neck for him??? For Sami Zayn, the eternal underdog? The conspiracy victim? The guy who got mocked constantly backstage by his peers? The person who had marred Roman's win/loss record with that ugly defeat on Smackdown against KO and Cena? And after he'd promised a victory too? Damn.

Like, anyone in Sami's position would have been absolutely taken with Jey in that moment, that act likely meant everything to Sami and that's a big reason why he can't stop trying to save this man who saved him at a time when he probably felt unwanted and unloved. Jey stepped up and told everyone that Sami was not only loved but also wanted in this family - the fans all putting their ones up was such a beautiful cherry on top of all this 😭😭

So yes, I'd say Sami sees Jey as "separate" from the Bloodline in some way - he very much knows Jey wants out (he can see it all over Jey's face just like we at home do!) and he keeps hoping that talking to Jey will give him the push he needs but clearly it's not working so we know something substantial is going to happen to finally make Jey snap out of it and it will be PAINFUL.

And finally, to your last point about how, as a reader and writer, Jey is so compelling? YES, I FEEL YOU! I mean, just look at the lenghts and lenghts of text I've been writing in these replies, clearly I'm not okay 😭🤧🤧

[claire-starsword]

The Guardiana Magic School Run - Part 3

No doodle this time as I had no ideas, every joke about giant bats sucking has already been done I think. Also I've just realized I lost all my pre battle screenshots due to a emulation mishap so. Oops. We bad at pictures today, sorry.

Anyway. We return to Guardiana to sing our praises and maybe not dwell too much on the fact Gong just died. Resurrection is too a good display of Guardiana's magic. I guess.

We say hi to Mae and Gort and grab their weapons for extra money. We also grab plenty of stuff from the treasure room. The Antidote gets safely tucked in the item box as poison won't be a thing for the next battles. The Angel Wing is against my rules and thus to be sold. The Power Wine and Defense Potion also go to the item box as I don't see the need for them right now.

More importantly, the Rousing Ring. This thing is a gift for giant bat haters everywhere, preventing a character from falling asleep. Unfortunately there's only one in game (unless they show up in deals? but I sure haven't seen them there ever). I give it to Gong because Max is kinda overleveled right now, and Tao and Lowe should not be directly hitting enemies too often.

All the loot we could sell gives us a sizable chunk of money. I check the deals and there's still nothing there. The Guardiana weapon shop is also very disappointing. So it's time to start stocking on Steel Rings as I hoped. And by stocking I mean buy two. Definitely would like to have more, as for now, I move all three to Tao, who is by far the most frail character right now, and next battles will be more open so I don't think Max and Gong will manage to fully protect everyone.

I also replenish everyone's stock of Medical Herbs, which isn't a big deal since we didn't use many.

This is where I should have screenshots to show how absurd Max is getting in stats, his attack is like 20 compared to the others having less than 15, definitely need to let the others catch up on levels. Tao's base defense is 4, which is half of Gong's, the guy who died last battle. You can see now why I want those rings so bad. Especially since I recall now there being more Rune Knights next battle.

We cannot delay meeting them any longer. I save the game, and go on for the glory of Guardiana's Magic School.

The clear bonus is 400 gold for winning in at most 10 turns, almost enough money for another Steel Ring, so I want that, but perhaps I should have learned a lesson from last time. Also I don't think skipping enemies to get to Alterone is worth it, we'd miss a lot of exp. Let actually try to minimize deaths this time.

We have a couple of bats who I think will advance immediately, and a lot of dark dwarves. I would love if they didn't advance, which might mean taking things slowly and missing the bonus. Though they might advance anyway and then I'll feel very stupid. Oh well.

Turn 2, nothing happened. The dwarves indeed don't feel like moving, while the bats have inched closer. Let's see if we can deal with them quickly. I send Max to bait them as his huge stats should shrug off bats without much issue.

They take the bait immediately due to having great agility. Their position annoys me a bit, but at least every other character can hop to beat them up right now.

By characters I mean Tao. Lowe can't reach, and Gong gets dodged because flying enemies Do That A Lot. Tao does level up though, and gets Blaze 2, which is fun and exciting. I will mention though, she has yet to get a single defense point via level up. I'm beginning to wonder if it's ever a thing for her.

Turn 4. Gong has managed to hit the second bat and take more than half its HP so Tao can definitely finish it up after Gong tanks a hit, and he will not fall asleep due to his ring. Let's see if Max can bait some dwarves already, though I have little hope of getting the bonus. I just rather these guys come for Max than anyone else.

The dwarves refuse to come and are instead gathering to block the road, which is the fastest path to Alterone. But I said I wouldn't rush, so perhaps beating them from the forest side I can get some terrain bonuses. Unfortunately they too will be getting the terrain bonuses.

To put it plainly, I don't know what I'm doing.

Turn 6. Whatever I did was good, one dwarf came after while the others are now closer to the road and thus getting less terrain bonuses. Hope they stay that way.

Max and Gong team up flawlessly and Gong's level up makes him seem very determined to not die again.

Man, why did I even want the Demibuster.

Lowe is doing a whole bunch of nothing so I send him to heal Max from all the 1 damages he's been taking.

Everything proceeds smoothly and Tao proves that yes, she can get defense on level ups. Sometimes. Occasionally.

Lowe also gets to do something after Max kindly left a dwarf with 1 HP remaining.

Unfortunately we're at turn 9 with a mass of knights and bats remaining so it's safe to say the bonus is impossible. So let us be as cautious as possible and go through the forest, hoping dispatching the bats before the knights get involved.

The bats get baited and finally some snoozing happens. It's chill though, I legit skipped Max's turn to see if others can get the exp.

Lowe proceed to disappoint me as usual.

Eventually he does land a hit but it doesn't even do half and I don't have that kind of patience, Max reaps the rewards here and his level ups continue to be absolutely wild.

Knights are horrible in forests so I'm hoping it's okay to advance this much. Gong also heals himself for some exp, clearly no useful healing is getting done today.

I mess up again because they can still use the roads! Everyone thank the Steel Rings right now.

Gong is also reaping sweet rewards of his training. The reward is "dying less".

Tao spends her last MP on sweet revenge.

Lowe finally gets a level up from healing Tao, and learns Detox. This never happens in a timely manner on my usual playthroughs.

Nothing else to say, we wipe out the knights in this chill manner, with mostly Max and Gong. I try leaving this final guy for Lowe but Max counters because he's too good to share the spotlight. We're four or five turns beyond the bonus, I didn't pay attention, but the battle itself was pretty easy. I feel this will be a pattern in this playthrough, we're pretty overleveled for this part so we survive well, but with few characters we just don't deal enough damage to wipe the enemies fast enough. Obviously, this is because again I wanted all enemy exp instead of rushing to the objective.

There's only so much I can weep about it right now though. This is Alterone, the town full of loot. So money won't exactly be lacking. I might have one less Steel Ring by the end of the chapter though :(

after like ten minutes maybe more of opening chests, including the one after talking to the king, we have extra herbs, Healing Seed for the late game, another Power Wine and Defense Potion, a Life Loaf that might actually be from Guardiana and I didn't notice, some Middle Swords, plural, and useless wooden weapons, I can't understand why they're here. One Middle Sword manages to make Max more powerful than he already is. The rest of the weapons are going to make us rich as the average Alterone citizen.

The deals section decides to finally have something…

It is an axe. Which no one will use in this run. Also I would love to have data on these special weapons because the Jagged Flash tends to be the most useless of them to me, I don't notice any significant extra damage on flying enemies and flying enemies dodge it all the time anyway. This might be the worst thing we could have possibly rolled. Let's just check the normal weapon shop.

The Demibuster is a whopping 800 gold and actually weaker than the Middle Sword. It will still deal more damage against dark dwarves, but man, Max doesn't need it.

The Voodoo Staff meanwhile is a new weapon exactly between the Wooden and Power Staff. Makes sense, right? It can also poison enemies, which I guess could be useful, if we weren't killing anything in one or two hits anyway. With all that said, the Power Staff is debuting like, literally the next battle. I also don't have much interest in sending the blazing woman and healer guy to hit stuff when they could be blazing and healing instead, especially when their defenses still don't inspire much confidence. That's right baby this isn't the Alterone Magic School run this is the Guardiana Magic School, I'm going back there and grabbing more Steel Rings before the chapter closes!!

Just to complete the ramblings, Alterone has their own special ring too, the Evade Ring. In this version, characters have no natural chance of evading as far as I've seen, and depend on equipment like this instead. Of course, this one stacks to a chance of at most 6-8%, so it's very shaky compared to our great and solid Guardiana equipment. It is cheaper than Steel Rings though, so might be a good option for squishy characters once we run out of money.

For now though, we're off to funding the restoration of our glorious country. We buy three rings and store them safely in the item box for now.

We have an old friend to meet next time, after all.

Losses: 0 Deaths: 1 This episode: not yet sponsored by the Guardiana royal family but Queen Anri if you're out there I'd love the money

[cosmicjoke]

i am so sorry u had to deal with that anon, i hope you are feeling ok! :’) it sucks how shippers make their own reputation bad by not accepting another perspective/opinion :/ and to go to this extent over a fictional ship is just… something else😭 i’ll never understand how some can’t just enjoy their ship in peace and always have to prove it is canon and fight everyone else who doesn’t think like them, as if you can’t enjoy a ship otherwise?

anon just reminded me why i never took an interest in any levi ship, and i probably never will. i sooo wanted to say that i didn’t understand why anon suddenly started to hate on levi x oc shippers, but it’s obvious bc most oc’s are depicted as women and that is against their ‘canon’ ship and beliefs about levi😭 why care so much, levi can be whatever sexuality you want seeing as nothing was confirmed, so just take a step back, touch some grass and let people enjoy whatever they like :’)

anyways, once again im sorry u had to deal with all of that i can’t even imagine how tiring or frustrating it must be to always be attacked/asked about the same things constantly. i love your levi posts and i feel like you really analyze him very well! happy holidays :’)

Thank you so much, truly.

I've said again and again that I have nothing against any ship or shipping group. People can ship Levi with whoever they want. But these people who harass me over it, then accuse me of "talking" about it all the time, but the only reason I talk about it is because they're the ones asking me about it.

The thing is, is I just want to talk about what's in the actual story. Levi has no love interest in the story, either directly acknowledged or even implied. Everything this person sited as evidence or "proof" of Levi being romantically interested in Erwin, I addressed to the best of my abilities. They didn't want to accept it, and then they accuse me of being a hypocrite, trying to claim that all of my analysis posts are based on the same, speculative, inconclusive and flimsy material they base their beliefs on. As if breaking down text, expression, sequential order of panels, and patterns in the text and past character behavior is the same as taking an off-handed comment from Isayama in an interview from ten years ago or whatever and using it as proof of some super secret hidden romantic interest between Levi and Erwin. You can literally look at every post of mine analyzing AoT and find evidence supporting, pretty damn concretely, my conclusions in the actual text. And I'm hardly alone in that. There's many, many great AoT fans who write brilliant analysis posts about the manga/anime, using only the source material. But these people can never point to a single panel or word bubble or piece of text that supports this notion that Levi was in love with Erwin, or anyone, for that matter. They need to site promotional material to try and back up their claims, and extrapolate meaning from the panels and texts which isn't, in any discernible, concrete way actually supported by the text and panels. They literally need to twist Levi's words and actions in the most absurd, nonsensical, illogical manner in order to make it fit. That isn't how Isayama operates as a writer. Even when there's subtext, there's a clear, undeniable line between it and the action on the page. That's what analysis is based on, after all. There has to be a viable, evident reason for drawing certain conclusions.

Levi holding the serum against his chest, or touching Erwin's hand when he took the serum from him, or him thinking of Erwin when wondering who he could revive, none of that is enough proof in and of itself to support a romantic interest between them. I tried explaining to this person what those things actually indicate within the story. The last two don't mean anything. It's just how the panels were drawn. But the first, if this person had paid any kind of attention to Levi's actual relationship with Erwin, and how Levi regarded Erwin, and the reasons he was so loyal to Erwin, would understand that he thought of Erwin in that moment because he regarded Erwin as the leader that humanity needed, and that humanity's future was dependent on Erwin's survival. It's the entire reason Levi tried to stop Erwin from going to Shinganshina in the first place. I come to all of those conclusions based on the actual text and what we know about the characters leading up to that point.

I explained all of this to this fool in my initial reply to them, and they accused me of "brushing them off", lol.

Anyway, whatever. But thank you so much again for your support. I just can't seem to get away from these people, haha.

[13-the-lucky-unlucky]

(I'm not the anon who requested 8/7, I'm just a numberblocks fan to whom tumblr recced the post)

I don't expect to change your mind, but maybe give you reason to think. The Bible also endorses slavery, and gender inequality, which are, respectively, pretty universally unaccepted and not widely accepted by a lot of Christians. It's a reasonable reading to understand the antigay bits as referring to pedarasty, or pagan temple sex practices, or even perhaps in one case, cheating on one's wife with a man. Paul, who says he isn't tempted, sounds possibly aroace. A number of people read Jonathan and David as being in love.

I'm told the UMC has just voted to accept clergy in same-sex marriages.

(And the assigning of gender to numbers, of all things, is utterly arbitrary, to boot)

I see you've said you're sixteen and maybe you aren't in a safe place to reevaluate your beliefs (I've been there), but when you are some day, maybe look into affirming theology. After all, love your neighbor is the second most important commandment.

Oh cool! Hi new friend! :)

Also, this is not an attack. It really isn't, I know I can be blunt sometimes, and I don't want to be taken the wrong way.

And please, I do want to have this conversation, it needs to be had. If you can come up with valid reasons against these I am ready to listen! :>

Love thy neighbor as yourself is not a commandment. So please check your facts before you start an argument, it can really help you solidify your points in the future :D.

And I made it explicitly clear that I do not have the slightest issue with the LGBTQA+ community, I do love them because they are the same as me and there are no differences between me and them apart from the paths we walk. THAT is what love thy neighbor means, it does not mean support and comply with everything they do wholeheartedly even if you don't agree.

And yes, I'm sixteen, but with the new laws around in my country I can do whatever I want and my mom and dad couldn't say a word in defense, I just genuinely don't support, and they don't even know about this account, and I don't expect them to find it. So no, not a 'safe place' issue.

The Bible doesn't endorse slavery, it actually was very clear that you should let your slave go after 7 years of servitude and give them everything their family needs before they set off. It was also spending nearly the entire old testament freeing the Isrealites from slavery multiple times as well.

The whole gender inequality thing I don't get because Ester was a very great leader who saved the Jews from death singlehandedly. Deborah was one of the most important judges. Sarah was the only reason why Abraham lived through crossing Egypt. And Rebekah was the one to save Jacob from Esau's wrath. Mary and the other women that went with her to Jesus' tomb were the ones that G-d chose to spread the news he was alive, even though in those days women were not to be taken at face value. There are other women as well but I'm not thinking of all of them, but G-d makes it clear that he can use anyone, even women, because they are just as important, its everyone else in the Bible who tries to force that inequality.

Technically, David and Jonathan were never shown to be gay, that is merely speculation. But even so, that does not mean it was the right thing to do. David also cheated on his wife, and was a mass murderer. I don't think killing someone and saying "well David did it and therefore it is the right thing." is a valid excuse. Scripture is constantly getting twisted, so if you're going to use the 'because they did it' as evidence for your claims it can be applied to everything else David did, and not a select few things. ;)

Hope this clarifies my viewpoint, friend! I hope this finds you well! :D

[casspurrjoybell-22]

Dream Eater - Chapter 16 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

"Take me there," I demand, shaking Damien by the front of his shirt.

"Take me there, right fucking now."

"Alex, stop," Damien grabs my shoulders and holds me still.

"We can't just rush in. We need a plan."

"Fuck plans. We need to save Dante before that sick fuck does anything worse to them."

"I know, and we will," he says, his grip on my arms tightening just enough to hurt.

"We will, Alex. But we can't just walk in there and give Azael what he wants. Too much is at stake. Please... just give us a chance to come up with a strategy, at the very least. It won't take long."

"For Dante's sake, it better not," I say, glaring.

He flinches and releases me and suddenly I don't think I can stand up any more.

I move away and sit on the edge of the large fountain in the center of the open courtyard.

I don't hear much of what's said after that.

Allannan pulls the cloth back over its grisly contents but I can't take my eyes from it or stop thinking about how Azael might be making more like it even now.

It feels like hours pass but it actually doesn't take long to come up with a plan, though no one claims its a very good one.

Damien and I will go first, meeting Azael at the spot he specified.

Then, Oran and the Vanguard, along with a host of Carnâki soldiers, will follow, entering the area a short distance away.

They'll flank Azael's troops and then launch a surprise attack.

In the chaos, Damien is supposed to get me and Dante the fuck out of there.

As eager as I am to get to Dante, I'd be lying if I said I'm not afraid.

My stomach feels like it's home to a nest of squirming snakes by the time everyone is in agreement and ready to act.

Damien sees it in my eyes when he joins me by the fountain.

He takes my hand and squeezes it lightly.

"Where are we going, anyway?" I ask.

Allannan hadn't read that part aloud.

"Some remote forested area in Russia," he says.

"The sort of place where meteors can crash and hardly anyone notices."

After a moment, I say what's been on my mind.

"Damien, if the plan doesn't work... if Azael forces me to open the Door... will you stop me?"

He looks down at me with eyes like pools of night.

"It'll work," is all he says.

Enough of the Vanguard are sufficiently powerful to travel between realms with three or four other people that a sizeable force of Carnâki soldiers is able to accompany us.

Both groups stand at the ready, Oran at their head.

He grasps Damien by the arm and wishes us luck.

"I'll see you on the other side, old friend," Oran says and I wonder if he knows how ominous that sounds.

From the grim look he gives us, I think he might.

"Alex," he says to me.

"I'm sorry. You're a brave lad and a true friend. Key or not... demon, human, Celestial or all three... you're a good man and I hope if we all come out of this alive you can forgive me my misplaced prejudice. May Manāt smile on your fate."

I'm not sure what the proper response is, so I go with the ever smooth reply of...

"Er, you too."

Then it's time.

Damien pulls me against him and presses his lips to my hair.

"I love you, Alex. I wish everything would just leave us alone and let me love you. I wish..."

"I know," I say.

"I love you, too."

I close my eyes and kiss him and the blue fire takes us away.

The shift isn't so bad this time and I'm able to keep my feet for once, though only by leaning heavily on Damien.

When I open my eyes, I see we're in a wide clearing among tall pines.

Patchy snow covers the ground and the sky overhead is the flat grey-white that promises more is on the way.

The air carries a stinging cold and I realize I'm badly underdressed in my thin Carnâki tunic and soft, suede leggings.

Turning, I see Azael at the other end of the clearing.

He's standing before a high stone arch and he's flanked by half a dozen other people, among whom I recognize Yakketh and Maliel, long fiery blades in hand.

Dante is there too and except for a bandage on their right arm, they look pretty much okay.

"Dante."

I take a stumbling step towards them but Damien keeps a tight grip on my arm.

"Not so fast," he whispers.

"We have to give Oran time."

I manage to get myself under control and walk as steadily as I can at his side.

Azael and his party walk towards us as we approach, until we both stop with about ten feet between us.

"Dantalian," he says, smirking.

"Here we are again. I'd have thought that watching me destroy your lover once would have been enough but I suppose a masochist enjoys a Hell of their own making."

Now it's my turn to hold Damien back or try.

"Don't," I hiss.

"He doesn't deserve the satisfaction."

Damien smoothed his features into a cold mask.

"Azael. We've come for Dante. Let them go."

Azael shakes his head.

"First, the Key."

I look at Damien and hope he can see in my eyes that I trust him, if only to do what he must.

"It's okay," I say and pull my hand from his grip.

Turning, I walk towards Azael.

I go as slow as I can, partly because I'm terrified, partly because I'm still unsteady from crossing realms and it would be really uncool to fall over right now.

When I'm within arm's reach, he grabs me and pulls me against him, turning me so I'm facing away.

He wraps a massive arm over my chest and slides his hand down to my hip.

I know he's doing it to goad Damien and it looks like it's working.

Blue fire races over Damien's body and I can see the faint shadows of great wings at his back.

I try to convey something along the lines of 'don't go berserk yet' with my eyes but I'm probably too far away for it to really get across.

"You have what you want. Now let Dante go," I say.

He bends to speak in my ear and I shiver with revulsion as his hot breath gusts against my skin.

"As you wish."

He gives a sign and Dante is pushed forward.

They look at me with an expression of love and fear that breaks my heart.

There are tears on their face.

"You shouldn't have come, Alex," they say.

"Why did you have to come?"

I shake my head.

"Because I had no choice, Dante," I say.

"You're my best friend."

They give me a watery smile as Damien pulls them to his side.

"How touching," Azael drawls.

"And now what, Damien? What are you waiting for? Reinforcements, perhaps? You'll be waiting a while. This whole area is sealed. Yakketh and Maliel completed it just as you arrived."

He nods to them.

"Show him."

The two female Fallen step forward and raise their long, thin blades above their heads.

They let the tips cross and suddenly the sky turns crimson as a great dome of interwoven magic spreads downward from its zenith to join the ground.

It must be miles across.

"Nothing in, nothing out," Azael says.

"I can't risk the powers of the Abyss getting loose before I'm ready, after all."

Damien's wings grow more solid and the blue sword of flame takes shape in his hand.

"Damien. No." I shout.

I know he's strong and powerful but the odds are seven to one and I don't know if he could even beat Azael alone.

"Shh," Azael hushes me as I struggle.

"Never fear. He's safe, even from himself. Look."

At Damien's feet, another, smaller seal appears and I see that he and Dante are standing in the center of a circle of intricate symbols.

He takes a step forward but he can't cross beyond its edge.

"Damien..."

"Don't worry. I have no reason to harm him or your friend. I'll let them go once I have what I want."

"I don't believe you," I say.

"I know. But you'll believe this. If you don't give me what I want, you can watch them both die."

Yakketh and Maliel have moved to either side of the seal and their blades are raised and ready.

Damien and Dante are both shouting at me.

I can't seem to hear them past the roaring sound in my ears but I know what they're saying.

They're telling me not to do it.

Not to save them.

Not to sacrifice a world for the sake of their lives.

I'm too selfish to listen.

"All right," I whisper.

"You win. I'll do it."

I feel Azael's deep laugh.

He turns us to face the great stone arch and speaks low and soft at my back.

"And now, Alex, my lovely broken Key... open me a Door."