#i just didn't manage to find the motivation to study and even when i did look at my notes i didn't retain shit rip

[airenyah]

Hi, regarding your JD vampire agenda, did you watch the latest Hidden Hangout? Joong has a very vampire-y moment and Dunk is very unbothered by it 😂 You were my first thought when I saw it, so congrats on the legacy 😃

hiii, i've been busy all day and haven't had the chance to watch today's ep yet 😭😭😭

but omg good to know 👀 you've got me really curious now fjcjjfjf

also YES i love that this is my legacy on here!! my personal hidden agenda is to slowly turn everyone into a JD vampire bl supporter 🤭 glad to have you on board, anon, and i'm absolutely delighted that i'm the first person you think of when there's anything related to JD + vampires. all is well in life 😌😂😂

[kingconia]

TWISTED WONDERLAND'S HOUSEWARDENS WITH A READER, WHO IS INSPIRED BY THE PROTAGONIST FROM THEIR STORIES

A/N: I didn't add Kalim or Jamil, because I feel their storyline is too much Aladdin & Jafar inspired already to do anything else with them.

Riddle Rosehearts. ❤️

— That was definitely a dislike from the first sight. He predicted you to be his future reason of headache as soon as the mirror sent you to the Heartslabyul;

— Riddle sees you as an air-headed fool, who only asks too many unnecessary things, daring to question the wishes of the Red Queen, instead of serving to your dorm as a proper student would do;

— You, from the other side, struggle with understanding what makes Riddle hate you so much. You were nothing but kind towards him, always suggesting to eat some sweets together, and trying to ask him to take a break from his studies to hang out with you or others;

— When he overhears that your signature spell makes you others to tell you the truth, Riddle is... Intimidated. He is afraid that you will use is against him, and so, he starts ignoring you more often.

•

”Housewarden acts like an asshole towards you, though.”

Riddle doesn't even need to think twice to recognise a loud voice of Ace Trappola, another troublemaker in his form. He knows that he should just give him a punishment and leave for a lesson, but instead, he hides in the nearest bush, waiting to hear the rest of the conversation.

”Oh, Ace. You are being rude,” you mutter softly, sighing at your classmate. ”Perhaps, a housewarden doesn't like me, but this feeling is not necessarily mutual.”

Riddle raises his brows in surprise. Why, though? He is aware that his attitude is nothing but awful when it comes to you. He doesn't have a proper reason for that, either.

”You should, really,” Ace rolls his eyes. ”Dude has a problem with you liking white. And what else? Being nice?”

That isn't true. He is fine with you liking white—though, he admittedly got frustrated when you asked him on your first day why painting roses red, if they are prettier when they are white—and being nice. He just considers you too naive for this world.

”I think, you are... Misjudging him.”

That is right, Riddle mutters mentally. Tell him, Y/n.

”I think, the reason why housewarden is so... Let's say, annoyed by me, it is because I am everything he grew up hating and being restricted with. And it is harder, when something you should never be interested in, is nice and interesting. I think, housewarden is just confused.”

He feels his cheeks blushing furiously.

What did you say—

”And I think you are just being delusional,” Ace chuckles, patting your shoulder softly. ”Now, please, let's get out of here. I want to find Deuce.”

Riddle listens to the sound of your rushing steps, but he can't care less about it now. All he can do, is to recite your words, again and again.

Does he really think you as a nice and interesting?

Yes.

Does it make him hate you even more?

No, but he wishes it could work this way.

Until now, though, he merely returns to his studies. Maybe, you can be honest with yourself and everyone, but this kind of thing is not for him at all.

Leona Kingscholar. 💛

— Leona didn't notice you at first. Honestly, never planned too, until you started to cling to him in some idiotic attempts to be... What? Friends?;

— You remind him so much of Cheka, but he actually likes his nephew deep inside. And your presence is absolutely insufferable;

— You are too childish and annoying, and all you do is sway your tail as you try to befriend him, while pretending that you actually like him. Leona knows you have ulterior motives. Stop lying to him!

— He finds it stupid how someone so moronic as you managed to pull out such an interesting signature spell. Manipulating dreams of others? How cruel.

•

”Stop doing that,” Leona hisses, digging in your wrist as you try to touch his hair. ”I am seriously going to kill you, if you keep doing this. Do you hear that?!

A few weeks ago—approximately since you figured out your magic—Leona started saw dreams. Very colourful ones, cheerful even. And each, with the same meaning: he becomes the king, and his family and people adores him.

He hates it.

And he hates you for doing that.

Because, of course, he doesn't need your fucking pity. Your condescension. Your gifts. He doesn't need to be mocked!

”Ah? Leona-sama, what is it?” You blink, confused.

”What is your problem, huh?” He hastily jumps on his legs, towering on you. ”Don't you have anything to do? Go and mind your business, brat!”

Your lostness shifts in sadness. You are not scared of him, you are never are—another proof that you don't take him seriously—but you dare to look at him like that. As a kicked puppy.

”What did I do?”

”Stop sending me these stupid dreams! I don't need your pity, do you hear me?!” He yells, still gripping your wrist tightly. ”Go and dream of your family or something, instead, would you?”

”I... I am sorry,” you mumble, and your eyes dart on the floor.

Leona closes his mouth, when realisation dawns on him. You don't have a family to dream about; you are an orphan. Yours, the previous crown family, were killed by his great predecessors.

He doesn't know why he feels bad, when you picked the fight first.

”I will never bother you again, Leona-sama. I apologise.“ You repeat, and your voice suddenly sounds numb.

That is not the sight of you he, or anyone else, was used to. Not a single emotion on your face. You just snatch your wrist from his hold, before leaving him alone as he asked to.

”You are such a jerk,” Ruggie whistles from behind, appearing almost from nowhere.

”Shut up.”

”You know that they can't send any control dreams, right?” He continues, hands on his hips.

”What?” Leona unwillingly turns head on his vice.

”Dunno, but they only can adjust if it is going to be nightmare or a good dream,” Ruggie yawns. ”They are just a first-year, so... It is your brain that decides where is where for now.”

Fuck.

Leona hisses furiously.

He is so fucked up.

Azul Ashengrotto. 🩵

— Oh, so this is love? He notices you in the crowd of other students, as you flinch from loud voices from dynamics, clearly knowing very little of this world, and he is amused. Someone is clearly more social awkward than he is;

— Azul thinks you don't like him that much, though, because you only wave at him, and when he once tried to speak, you merely nodded and smile all the time without answering him properly;

— It is until twins tell him that you don't have a voice. You were brought to this world completely mute, because of the family curse, and though you hear everything, your only way to communicate with others is writing. Or a sign language;

— But if anything gods blessed you is your magic. Everything you touch turns to gold, and that is actually the main reason why you were kept isolated over years. Azul is over heels for you now...

•

”I am glad that you took time to accept my invitation, Y/n.”

Azul locks his hands together, looking at you with unhidden excitement. He is always too nervous in your company—luckily, you can't read a room—but today is a special day.

You smile at him, instead of answering.

”The reason why I asked you to came here, it is because I have a deal for you,” he continues carefully, weighing his every word. ”Do you see that?”

He points with his finger at the middle of the table. There is very beautiful necklace with pearls and a little seashell, looking quite normal and mundane. You nod again.

”That is something that could break your curse,” he explains, enjoying the way your eyes widen in the poor shock. ”Yes, yes, you heard me right. With that, you could speak easily.”

Azul can't help but soften as you tear up instantly. There is a whole minute, when he fights an urge to give it to you for free, but... He built his reputation too long to break it so easily.

”But, of course, I will need something from you in return.”

You tilt your head in question.

”I...”

I need you to love me.

”...I need you to use your power for my business when it will be required.”

And with that, Azul quickly shoves another contract to you. You blink a few times, but there is no back thoughts in your head. Quickly, as if afraid that he will change his mind, you took the pen, and leave your signature on all places, where it was needed.

Ah... Angelwish, why are you so naive! It kills him! What if he tried to use you? You didn't even read a contract! You really should be glad that Azul loves you so much.

Before he realises that, you are already putting a necklace on yourself.

One second, two. Three.

You are staring at him.

”Well?” He asks, anxiously.

”A... Azul?”

His heart drops.

Your voice is amazing. And hearing you saying his name is even better than he expected. He blushes.

”Azul... Thank you?”

”S-sure.”

Seems, like it is his turn to be speechless...

Vil Schoenheit. 💜

— He originally had nothing against you... Until other students didn't start to call you the most beautiful person in the world, following you everywhere obsessively, and suggesting you to become the next housewarden;

— Vil now officially hates you. Each time you come to him ends up with short anger impulses that he hardly hides from you, and he wishes you could just disappear;

— He is quite... Cruel with you. He wants you to change your dorm, actually, so he desperately pushes you to the edge by giving you impossible tasks to fullfil, and turning others against you;

— And he thinks your signature spell, speaking and controlling animals is another proof that you should leave Pomefiore for Savanaclaw.

•

“I don't think you are stupid, un petit entraîneur.”

Vil narrows his eyes, leaning slightly forward from his balcony. The sight of his vice speaking with you—hunter's interest in you was his another concern—annoys him instantly.

”What do you mean, Rook?” There is a big cat in your lap, clearly another of your minions.

”You know that our dear housewarden wants you out of here,” he murmurs, moving closer to you. ”A fair exchange with Savanaclaw, I would say. He doesn't like you here.”

You sigh.

”I figured it out, trust me. He made it very clear by always putting me in dangerous situations and giving me outdated products for skin, making me look like a fool in front of others.”

You don't mention how he makes you clean dark and messy rooms of other students.

”Yet, you are not willing to give up?” Rook touches the strand of your hair curiously.

”You know, I actually liked him a lot,” you admit suddenly, patting the cat behind its ear. ”Vil was the world for me. I was so amazed by him. By how collected he was, how hard he worked. I was excited to become his student... I wished to show him what he is worthy of. That others see his hard work.”

Vil's breath hitches. He remembers you mentioning that you were his fan, but he punished you for this remark; he didn't need to be so violently degraded. But... Was it a truth, then?

”...It is in the past now. I witnessed his true colours, and I will not tolerate it,” your smile twists in something more vicious, a ghostly fondness leaving your pretty face. ”He doesn't need to be scared of me being better anymore. Because I am going to be so much worse.”

He shudders as he hears that, your voice cold, and eyes gleaming dangerously. And as if Rook addresses him, he sighs suddenly, with the strange excitement in his voice:

”Oh, mon doux karma. What had you done?”

Idia Shroud. 💙

— From the minute you open your mouth in his presence , Idia knows he will hate you desperately... It is not serious, though;

— You are unbelievably loud, and too cheerful, and too proud, and you are so self-centred? Also, a fucking bimbo. Idia has no idea why everyone so into you, and what you are even doing in Ignihyde! Go away!

— You annoy him so much, and he actually hates the way you try to befriend him and make him more normie! Stop be like that! You are not welcome!

— Idia is absolutely not impressed that your signature spell is an instant tactics creation. Fuck you, by the way.

•

“You do know, that doors exist, right?” Idia hisses, not even stopping his game to spare you some attention.

”I do!” You say, climbing through the window with a loud thud.

”Then, why don't you use them, idiot?!”

Idia has no the slightest idea why anyone, let alone you of all people—he means, since you genuinely think that it is healthy to spend all your time outside of the room—would want to become his friend. But here you are. Trying to befriend him for a month already.

”Because you never open the door, Idia-sama,” you shrug easily.

”Take a hint, maybe.”

You close the window behind yourself, taking place behind his chair. Putting elbows on it, you hum thoughtfully, glancing from Idia to the screen of the computer, where the game flashes on. Another few minutes, and familiar yelps fill the room:

”Shit!”

Game over.

”Idia-sama,” you frown, ”maybe, I can help you?”

Idia snickers, rubbing his tired eyes. As if.

”Have you ever played this game, even?”

”No,” you murmur shyly, scratching the back of your neck. ”But I am good at tactics. And it is combat game, correct?”

Idia ponders for a while. That is surprising, because... You are actually absolutely correct. For once.

”Sit down, first year,” Idia exclaims, suddenly excited. ”I am going to teach you how to play this game.”

You smile widely, doing as it was told.

Finally, you cracked the code! And they said you weren't for this dorm...

Malleus Draconia. 💚

— Of course, he missed you as the new student at first, since he forgot to arrive at the orientation day. But it is not that long as he starts hearing others praising you, Lilia especially;

— You are quickly becoming the part of the school life as everyone loves you, and calling you ’the heart of the school’. And while Malleus wants to befriend you, too... He also can't help but feel envious of how easy it is for you. The socialization;

— You are quick to fall asleep everywhere, much like Silver. And since Malleus can't find courage to speak to you, he wanders around, when you are asleep at the strangest places, instead;

— When the first overblot incident happens, your signature spell kicks in. To everyone's horror, it is absolutely terrifying. Your magic is about thorns. Thorns, that wrap around Riddle's weakened body, when he touches you. He almost dies. And the same thing happens with Ace, who accidentally brushes your skin. Now... Everyone shun you away.

•

”Hello, Malleus-sama,” you mutter, eyes sleepy as you look around. ”I apologise.”

Malleus doesn't quite mind you falling asleep in the class, where his gargoyle's researches are going currently. He is the only member, anyway. But he nods.

”I had never seen you here before,” he notices in a poor attempt of the small talk.

You shrug.

”There is no other students here. And it is better for me not to show up around them.”

What a familiar thinking process... Somehow, he finds it easier: to approach you know, when you are not everyone's favourite anymore.

”I see. You can stay, then. I am not welcomed by them either, so no one is going to enter this classroom.”

You offer him a smile. It is short, strained at the edges, but still sweet. Malleus thinks he understands how you so easily charmed others in the last months; you are much like sunshine, when you are happy. It is a shame you are not, anymore.

”You know, Malleus-sama, I always wanted to become your friend,” you admit suddenly, making him open his eyes in surprise. ”And, I think, you wanted to be mine friend, too.”

You? Why would someone like you want to have him as your friend?

”And why would you think that?”

You fold arms on your chest slowly.

”You are always here, when I am sleeping,” Malleus feels blush touching the tips of his pointy ears. You elaborate. ”I am not sure people realise, but I sleep too much not only because I am lazy, but also because I feel surroundings better like this. I remember everything I hear in my sleep, and I do feel if someone is around.”

Ah. So, that is the secret of yours. And he wondered how you master in all your classes, when you sleep all the time...

”...I see,” Malleus mutters, ashamed. ”I apologise, then.”

He reminiscences of how often he whispered you some nonsense when you slept—childish complaints about how he hates you for being so easily loved by others, random poems that came to his mind as he sat down by your side, stories from his childhood—and feels like disappearing in the shame wouldn't be that bad.

”You know, Malleus-sama, you and I... We are not so different. We both do what we have to do to keep our loved ones to ourselves,” you sit down on the couch beside him slowly. ”But it leads only to one thing.”

Malleus gazes at you curiously as you suddenly curl on his lap, much like a cat. Your eyes met as he helps you to settle more comfortably.

”To destiny?” He asks aloud, tilting his head.

”To pain.”

There is a beat of silence in which your smile suddenly appears to be more bitter, less serene. Malleus doesn't know what happened with you in details, and how awfully these changes in your reputation affected on you, but he can say that it was hard.

”Now, if you don't mind, and I believe, you don't, Malleus-sama, I would like to dream a little bit.” You warn him, already closing your eyes, not really waiting for the answer.

Still, Malleus nods. Though that is not something you can see.

”Sleep, then... Beastie,” he sighs, patting your hair gently.

You snicker, before your breath slows down, alarming that you completely drifted off.

Malleus stares at you openly now.

Ah, who would've thought? He had finally made a friend.

Part two with Leona & Vil is here.

[austinsastrology8991]

> SUN IN THA HOUSE < and whY yoU Be like dat

Sun is our focal point, its our brightest star > you force others to look at you and look at themselves by your star quality <

Sun in the First - Everyone knows them, and they make it a fact that if you don't see them then your the one who is blind. They have a confident swagger, but arrogance to them that begs for the attention of all around them, and everyone is locked in on how or why they have such a powerful presence. Their smiles are contagious too. Also somehow always in the perfect place to say some funny ass shit and keep their style points that they been racking up over the years "You know. You all know exactly who I am. Say my name" - W.W 'breaking bad'

Sun in the Second - Did I stutter? Im talking about what I need not what I want. These guys are possessed by themselves and everyone loves it. So focused so self contained, they don't want nothing to do with you if you can't help them achieve their goals, and that attitude is sticky and everyone wanna be glued to em because they are destined for success. So they are constantly deciding who they want to share their gifts with, because they know they got it, what you got? "Money, money, money, money, money ain't the motive, What's your name again? Nobody knows it, Don't speak to me n***a, you not important, Im focused" - Tyler, the creator 'smuckers'

Sun in the Third - The whizz kid who didn't study, but stole the test papers and told everyone the wrong answers and kept all the right ones to himself. They are smart and they dont need you to tell them this they just want some more god damn answers. And thats what frustrates everyone, because they know so much already, why they still searching? Well thats how they got so smart dummy "That's why they put my lyrics up under this microscope Searching with a fine tooth comb, it's like this rope Waiting to choke, tightening around my throat Watching me while I write this, like, "I don't like this note" - Eminem 'white america'

Sun in the Fourth - The sentimental cry baby that everyone loves to cuddle. Emotional but people find it adorable. They are the rock you can cry on if you want a rock to cry on. Nah but if you need a safe place to cry, you can cry to them, they'll protect you from the harsh waves of others emotional projections, because they get it, even when everyone else refuses to. But don't use em because that'll force them to block you out, and this decision will cause a emotional rollercoaster for the both of you and they'll blame you for it even if it was their decision "And I am done changing words, Just so my songs sound prettier, I just don't care if it hurts, 'Cause it hurts me too" - Faye Webster 'hurts me too'

Sun in the Fifth - The walking confetti explosion, always turnt up and if you trynna lower the volume then they'll oblige ya just so when the volume inevitably goes up again, they'll make it a point that its always more fun with the party up then down. Charming chameleons that are cheesin about the colours they managed to pull off. Watch em dance, watch em sing, watch em do a funny, they can do it all and laugh while doing it, the vibe is them and they are so good at inviting people in on the little big party they got going on "Man I just wanna go flex, Gold on my teeth and on my neck, And I'm stone cold with the flex, With my squad and I'm smokin' up a check" - Post Malone 'go flex'

Sun in the Sixth - Typeracer.com - nah but seriously they always working on themselves and comparing themselves just to make sure their progress is more than what they expected and way more than what others expected of them. Because they here for a reason, and they will never let a opportunity slip, because if they do, they'll stay awake over it for years, and they done wasting their good years. Basically Peggy Olsen "And when your album sales wasn't doing too good, Who's the Doctor they told you to go see? Y'all better listen up closely, All you n***s that said that I turned pop, Or The Firm flopped. Y'all are the reason that Dre ain't been getting no sleep" - Dr Dre 'forgot about dre'

Sun in the Seventh - I gotchu what you need? true homies always putting others before them, and i know this gets a bad rap these days but if you ever get one of these friends. Do yourself a favour and stop telling them to stand up for themselves, because they still standing with the weight of everyone else on they shoulders. This way they show others the power of communication. And they still sticking it to everyone who tell em otherwise, so please tell me how they not standing up for themselves? They the loyalist, you got no idea how many people rely on em and thats their pride "Every step I take, every move I make (ohh, I'll miss you), Every single day, every time I pray, I'll be missing you (yeah, yeah, yeah), Thinkin' of the day, when you went away, What a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you" - Diddy 'missing you'

Sun in the Eighth - Who went to hell and back? Well they went to a version of it. And they are done hearing whatever you done, because what they did beats your hell tenfold. They don't even wanna put you in your place because they don't wanna hear your attempts to disapprove of them because they've overcome more than some bullshit shit talking. Just put some respect on their name thats all they want. And if not it's easy pickens because think they worse than you, and if you done worse, they don't mind going badder, so be careful, they'll do it. They careful about not being careful so be careful "No I don't worry, I tell you, I'm a man who believes that I died twenty years ago, And I live like a man who is dead already, I have no fear whatsoever of anybody or anything" - Skepta 'no security'

Sun in the Ninth - I WOKE UP IN NEW BUGgATTI is how they live their lives, except miss the bugatti but keep the caps lock on. They live by a set of moral philosophies to help them get by and to find excitement/ enjoyment outta life, because they refuse to be a follower, they've seen how sad everyone else is and they just trynna make sure it don't work out that way for them. Educated idiots; making up the rules as they learn the rules to live by their own rules. They lead their own life and it rubs off on everyone on how you should live your own life > teetering the edge of danger and fortune. Also someone who'll give it to you the realest despite being the biggest clown "Black kid get shot, white man get tazed, Media spread lies, politicians get paid, Doctors wanna drug you up so you can reach an early grave, Prisons wanna lock you up so they can fill up every cage Make fifty cents an hour, they gon' work you like a slave, Government gon' play dumb but they know everythin' " - Meechy Darko 'kill us all'

Sun in the Tenth - "Who speaking about me? oh. he ain't shit" - they acting better than everyone, and its fake until it isnt. No one knows when they made it because they always acted like they did. They dont brag they let the audience speak their volumes, hum their symphonies, play their drums, tickle their balls, and they just the orchestrator of it all. Because they doin the most, and they know everyone gonna talk about it so no need to even speak on it. Classy about it too. They on the top and they don't wanna leave so they acting humble but everyone know they really feelin themselves, but hey who wouldn't "I might be too strung out on compliments, Overdosed on confidence, Started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequence, Drinkin' every night because we drink to my accomplishments" - Drake 'headlights'

Sun in the Eleventh - Trend setters who leave their shit stains on every social setting they enter. They got this influence about them thats hard not to notice, because they have at least three people fawning over em, and they not doing shit. Always trying to spread their influence, so if you want someone to back you its them, because their word is worth more due to their connections. And the easiest way to connect is technology and they all up in the software and getting a hard drive about it. They say some outta pocket shit, but thats where the influenza comes from I guess. They somehow everywhere and no where at the same damn time "It's ironic you talk jail time, But you ain't never seen no central booking (yeah) It's ironic you hang with a n***a that beat women And have the nerve to call yourself "Girl Pusher" Wow! You ain't real, I'm gonna show you how I really feel - JPEGMAFIA 'baby im bleeding'

Sun in the Twelfth - Lonely introspective dreamy creative types. Is what you could say if you wanna sum them up. But there is much more to them, but they are so afraid of letting anyone in because they are so sensitive. Their empathy and ability to look at things from different perspectives is what sets them apart, and they want to be set apart, because they feel alone, and don't wanna pretend they your friend if they ain't. They are extremely creative to a fault, and a lot of people would rather make fun of their works then celebrate how special it is. Until it is widely acknowledged how gifted they are, then everyone will switch up around them. But they will never forget who said what, because they above the whats; aint got time for someone who thought they were just a what "'Cause I'm out there, Tried to tell you that I'm out here on my own, I told you I was out there, Tried to tell you that I'm out here on my own,I fell down to Earth, From a hundred miles away and somehow I still make it work, But it's overrated and somehow played out" - Oliver Tree 'alien boy'

[idlerin]

STARS IN YOUR EYES (and on your graded papers)

w/ academic rival!suna rintarou x gn!reader

academic rival! suna rintarou who would always compete with you in getting the highest grades in class. he relishes in the way you would fume when he gets a point higher than you, and all it does was motivate you to absolutely crush him (in a metaphorical, academical way).

academic rival! suna rintarou who at the first time you met during the school orientation wherein the two of you had a mini argument over logistics, he proceeded to tell you that you "just can't win against me" which fueled the flames that made it so you prove him wrong.

academic rival! suna rintarou who you absolutely hated with a burning passion, you saw the arguments you had in class as him constantly being arrogant and smug (to be fair, he always acted like he was arrogant and smug and wanted to pick a fight), you made sure to sit the farthest away from him in class to avoid interacting with him as much as possible. that plan always never succeeds because you guys end up having a debate at least once a day about complex concepts in a recent lesson that make your classmate's heads ache.

academic rival! suna rintarou who was one of the most popular guys in school because 1. he had a.. nice to stare at face, you guess. 2. he's part of the famous volleyball club you refuse to watch a single game of. 3. he had an attractive aura around him! there you admit it! but he was still infuriating. even more annoying because the people around you are head over heels for him and you would rather bash your heels over his head (too harsh?)

academic rival! suna rintarou who you were forced to become lab partners with because the teacher thought the two of you could learn to "get along" as if that was possible. and yet there the two of you were, sitting in a coffee shop working on your project cause there's no way you were going to get a bad grade in a class just because of your pride.

academic rival! suna rintarou who you were forced to exchange numbers with for academic purposes, which meant, you specifically told him to not bother you unless it was for school related concerns. of course he didn't listen and would randomly send you memes in the most ungodly hours, you threaten to block him everytime. (but you never do)

academic rival! suna rintarou who was surprised when he learned you actually thought that he hated you. and you, who stared at him like he was dumb, because he totally acted like he hated you.

academic rival! suna rintarou who would always anticipate the classes you're in together because school was only ever fun when he had someone who could actually keep up with him and beat him, he finds it amusing when he wins and he finds it just as amusing when he loses. mostly because he would get to see the variety of cute expressions you would make

academic rival! suna rintarou who you thought wasn't actually that bad once you got to (forcibly) spend more time with him.

academic rival! suna rintarou who would stay up late studying with you through call, you pretend you're ignoring him when he tries to distract you from studying when it was actually working, you hate to say it, but you did somehow manage to find comfort in the idle conversations you two would have, a nice break from all the pressure you were putting on yourself to be the absolute best.

academic rival! suna rintarou who would stare at you while you try to concentrate in reading your book, you decided to spend some time in the library and he decided he would sit with you (when all he's really doing is rest his head on the table and continue on with his piercing stare). you've had enough of it and exasperatedly asked him why he was staring and he responds with "do you know you look really pretty all concentrated like that?"

academic rival! suna rintarou who you absolutely hated with a burning passion, that is, you try to convince yourself.

a/n — i jus love acad rivals and i love suna rintarou so i thought why not. this is like kind of ooc? i just feel like suna would be the type to either be a super genius in academics or the type to be like "ah fuck it" when taking an exam.

also heavily inspired by alicehenry’s dynamic from if you could see the sun! god i love them

[shadale-s-safe-space]

I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

[yandere-wishes]

I don't think I'm neurodivergent but there is this phenomenon called maladaptive daydreaming. It's usually developed from a very young age by children who were bullied or bored, usually both. It's not classified as a mental illness but if it goes unchecked it can actually interfere with your life, so it should be managed.

One time when my parents were home I spent a good 9 hours just sitting on the couch, listening to music and swaying left right, left right, just making up scenarios. I didn't eat or go to the bathroom at all during those 9 hours. I was horrified when I saw how much had passed because it did NOT feel like it was that much.

Ana, the reason it's taken me 2 whole weeks to answer this is because you have utterly and wholly terrorized me. I relate to this so hard. 😭😭

quick question, did you have headphones on? And where you listening to new songs or your fav songs? Cause I can kinda get getting lost in a trance to new or fav songs and lose track of time dreaming of a perfect life. Still, nine hours is a LONG time. I'm surprised your parents didn't interfere. My parents see me doing anything "unproductive" for more than an hour and automatically they find something for me to do (usually some sort of chore our study topic) 😭🤣😭🤣

the thing with me is that I don't think I ever really stop daydreaming. It's never even at the back of my head either, it's always somewhere in the forefront no matter what I'm doing. Like some super normal thing will be happening and my brain just automatically goes "Okay here's a list of 10+ scenarios that could simultaneously be happening right now." You'd be surprised how many of those scenarios include fictional characters and my obvious need for real human interactions. Then before I know it I've completely lost track of what was/is happening in class.

That's also why I kinda need to associate what I'm studying with some sort of fictional media "theme" so 1) I can actually motivate myself to study and 2) even if I do black out and start daydreaming there's this little lifeline that can kinda drag me back.

I don't really think I'm neurodivergent either (although lately, I think that ADHD may be the explanation for a lot of things I do). I can't say I had the best childhood. Home life was perfectly fine, my dad was strict but my family was very loving. But I was bullied a lot in school. From elementary to middle school. I guess that's why I'm so obsessed with fictional characters. Because with them I can feel like I belong. I'm free to make up scenarios where everything is fine. Sorry, this got super sappy. 😣😆😣

On the bright side, I can now add "maladaptive daydreaming" as part of my skills in my resume 🤣🤣

[heroofspiritsisthebestlink]

VHAD NATION

I wrote another fic! This time, I think it’s short enough to just slap on here. I also want to thank @creativeskull95 for letting me use their OC, Maia! Please, give their stuff a look as well.

Without further ado, let’s begin.

A Dream Is A Wish Your Core Makes

"Lock down the whole building. We can't risk that thing getting in."

The overly sweaty humans on the screen started bickering between themselves, as Thad began to zone out for the 13th time tonight. He really was trying to keep up with the movie, but it bored him so much that he was genuinely starting to wonder if his motivator was malfunctioning. A quick hit on the pause button and a two minute full body-scan later revealed that, no, the flick was just that asinine. It didn't help that it was getting a little late, or that this was his third attempt at trying to watch the whole thing through. Horror was boring him, somehow. Living in an isolationist, paranoid society that was constructed from the fear of death made dramatized fiction like this feel artificial and numbing. At least, that's what he supposed. He rubbed his eyes and slumped back into the sofa, maybe he'll give it a fourth shot tomorrow.

His eyes went wide in surprise as the sound of a ventilation grid hitting the floor behind him brought him back to reality. When the initial shock passed, he looked over his shoulder and sighed in relief as a familiar, tall figure lowered herself into his hallway. Adjusting her hair, she then waved at him.

"Hey." Said V. "Pod got a little cramp and I got bored."

"That makes two of us." Said Thad, throwing a flabby hand up at the running TV. V chuckled, making herself at home by casually throwing herself on the sofa and putting her legs on the armrest.

"So what's on?" She asked, leaning up against his side.

"'The Instance,' or something. School assignment. We're supposed to watch horror movies to study how humans..." He picked up the paper laying on the table, digital eyes squinting to find a specific paragraph. "'...Use suspense and scares to engage their viewers.' This gotta be the worst movie in the world to show that. Thanks Teach." Thad threw the paper into the air and leaned back again, putting his hands behind his head.

"Dunno about all that, but I'm sure as hell entertained. Look at that guy's wig!" She cackled, pointing a stray claw at the screen. Thad rolled his eyes, but couldn't deny he was smirking. A wig that spiky did look a little out of place. He found himself earnestly smiling for the first time while watching this movie. Maybe it'd be easier to stay awake if he had someone to banter with.

As it turns out, it wasn't so bad if you just had company. They poke fun at the flimsy plot and all the oddities of humanity. V is especially snarky today, mockingly questioning every part of the movie from the character's illogical actions to their fashion choices. The former huntress exercised great comedic skill as she efficiently disassembled the poor Worker Drone's mask, leaving him gasping for air as she continued her assault on his Funny Code. They couldn't stop giggling.

As they finally managed to get past the 60-minute mark, the movie picked up considerably. It was at least interesting enough to make the two drones shift around in their seating and graduate from limp blobs to sitting normally. The characters had eventually gotten into a predicament interesting enough to get invested in. The guy with the spiky wig even got taken away. And then the movie's climactic horror scene happened. The movie's monster, some cloaked creature, had seemingly cornered a large group of characters in a foyer. Then, the carnage began. The monster lunged at the defenseless meat-bags and mercilessly culled them. Bodies were ripped apart, limbs were torn off, screams peaked and died out, and blood was splattered on the walls to such a gruesome degree that would almost be comical if it wasn't so disturbingly familiar. But it was with humans, so Thad could stomach it. He side-eyed V to gauge her reaction, she was being oddly quiet. V looked unnerved. The eyes on her visor had dilated into pupil-less circles. It was getting to her. It was too familiar. Same old horrors. It was too much.

The screen froze as two, grey vertical blocks stared back at her. Thad had paused the movie.

"Do you wanna watch something else?" He asked. V blinked, pupils returning.

"...Isn't this an assignment?"

"It can wait. I have the whole week." He didn't, but this felt more important. Stepping out of the sofa, he waved her over to a shelf with a bunch of plastic casings. DVDs, she realized. Thad began digging through them all, taking them out one by one and having increasingly indifferent reactions to the covers. Looking over the collection, V started to browse herself. Noticing an oddly fancy, glittery one, she took it out. 'Cinderella.'

"What's this?" V asked, staring at the cartoon woman on the cover with intensity, as if trying to gauge whether or not the woman may have the fire powers the title implied.

"Oh, that's my sister's. We can put it on though." He offered with an endorsing tone. V plucked the disc from its casing and threw the plastic over her shoulder, inserting it into the DVD player and hitting Play with her tail. Taking a seat next to Thad again, she waited with her hands resting on her lap. After a few seconds of unusually old static, the archaic sound of filtered horns filled the room.

Cinderella~

If you give your heart a chance

Thad smiled. He couldn't remember the last time he had watched this with Maia, but the melody brought back many memories of his sister gleefully singing along to all the songs. V had nothing to say. She just watched unblinking as colorful graphics painted several pictures to a beautiful song. She said nothing as the pleasant narration introduced her to a nostalgic setting. She didn't question how the woman could converse with animals, or how they could help her shower. It was just a story about a servant girl dreaming of more, and that was enough for her to escape in.

No matter how your heart is grieving

If you keep on believing...

———————————————————————

When Maia woke up early in the morning, she was confused to find a metal grate on the floor in their hallway. Tip-toeing around it, she kept quiet as she sneaked into the living room, expecting to find her brother fast asleep on the sofa once again. Her hand flew up to her mouth to choke the gasp she nearly let out, as next to her brother slept a much larger, scarier girl. A Murder Drone, or, a 'Disassembly Drone,' as she had tried to learn, was cuddling up to Thad in a paradoxically sweet embrace. Looking over them, Maia could also see that the girl had wrapped her tail around Thad's leg. The drone had a big yellow SLEEP MODE sign on her visor, with text beneath reading 'DO NOT DISTURB' in threatening, bold letters. But even if she was really scary, Maia also thought she was really pretty. She was like a sleeping princess, but with big scary wings and teeth.

As silently as possible, Maia began tracing her steps backwards to leave, but was startled to hear her foot step into something crunchy. Panicked, she looked down. It was the casing to her Cinderella DVD. Why was that there? Looking back up, she gasped. Wide, terrified eyes met squinting, groggy ones. The murder princess was awake. With a surprisingly gentle smile, the big girl winked at her, quietly shushing her with a finger. More embarrassed than afraid, Maia turned around and quickly ran into her room.

[f2e5b1]

Hello! First of all, I'm sorry if my question is bothering you in any way. I found your blog back in 2023 from the hashtag Tim Drake, out of boredom, I started to read your "Dear Robin" fan fiction and guess what? I'm instantly in love to your writing! It's very beautiful and nostalgic in some kind of way, and I really love the way you wrote the characters.

But the thing that made me really attached with your writing is the fact that I first discovered it when I was studying for my entrance exam. Reading your story gave me a really great boost during that period of time because everytime I read it it always give a sense of comfort to me. Long story short, back in March I got the acceptance letter to my dream school! And even though it's weird, everytime I think about my new school I always get a reminiscence of the story you made, and for that, I just want to say thank you. You writing is amazing.

Anyway, I'm going to my school's dorm soon (much like the main character from your story I guess), and I'm just wondering if you will ever drop the next chapter of your story, because if so, then I would gladly wait for it! Thank you for reading this, and once again, sorry if this question is bothering you. Have a good night!

hi hello! first of all, congrats on getting accepted into your dream school, and thank you so much for your kind words. sorry for the late reply... i've admittedly been going back and forth to your message ever since i received, but i didn't really know how to respond to it, which is nothing against you btw - and i wasn't bothered at all! it's just that... i guess you could say i was surprised? that someone managed to find me even when i've changed my usernames so many times and deleted the fanfic itself from my blog - but i'm glad you did! thank you for finding me, for taking a chance on dear robin, and for loving my writing. it means the world to me to see this as someone who's always had extreme second thoughts on my stories/writing - but what writer doesn't? haha. i'm thankful that dear robin gave you the comfort you needed during your studies, which is honestly such an honor, knowing that my work offered someone comfort even though it wasn't exactly on purpose.

(sorry i kind of went under a long tangent orz...)

admittedly, i don't really remember now what compelled me to start writing a tim drake fanfiction since i've always been a dick grayson girl (which sort of bled into the story i guess haha), but i knew that i wanted to at least showcase my liking for tim at the time dc was still my hyperfixation - and maybe try out a new writing/story telling style that delved much more into the complexities of relationships (tim & reader, or the reader & her mother) and of growing up. i was scared of mischaracterizing tim, or any other batman characters as i never really grew up on the comics - and the most i've done is watch teen titans when i was a kid. but seeing the attention dear robin got on both tumblr on ao3 gave me the boost to continue writing! i know dear robin isn't the most perfect dc fanfiction, and maybe ive mischaracterized some of the characters to the point where the dc tumblr meta community might crucify me for doing so (biggest fear of mine ngl), but writing it was both a learning lesson and also a sense of comfort to me; i even remember being so excited to show my friend the first chapter last year, and the compliment he gave to my writing motivated me to share it with everyone else.

but over time, i started getting... tired? of writing it? but i still liked tim, i still liked reading the comics and finding out about him - but the inevitability of feeling self-conscious about my writing eventually crept up until all i did was repeatedly go back to my documents and edit the chapters. but i knew that these little changes wasn't what i wanted - i wanted to make so big of a change to the story and the way i've written it and i've considered it too many times over the course of the year (maybe even deleting the whole thing itself), but thanks to all the comments and messages like these... i decided to just keep it. i won't say i've found peace with it, per se, but rather i wouldn't want to leave you guys hanging after we've been through so much together - i spent too much of my time writing it instead of studying haha! honestly, the 7th chapter is somewhere in my drafts, but it's nowhere near finished. when i open the document, i find myself cringing just to read it, and i hate to feel that way about something i've worked so long on. but i don't want to give up on dear robin because i love that story - i wouldn't want to do it dirty by leaving it behind the dust.

the next chapter is far from finished - and tim and the reader's relationship is still so far from what i've promised since the very first chapter, but i do still want to continue dear robin until it reaches that point. i will keep writing, and post the next chapter some time soon. i realize that i'll never be satisfied with how i do or write my stories, but somewhere down along the road i just have to accept the fact that even if i don't, others will - and you are proof of that, anon. thank you so much, and if you still can, please continue supporting dear robin.

[rakuya-nikki]

Re:Zero - Entry #11

I've spent the past several days fervently rewatching Re:Zero, and not only did I learn a lot of new words and get great studying from it, but I was able to remember just how much I love this show.

I'm usually not good with gore. Well, "usually" as in I'm still not good with gore. There's a particular scene in the show involving some... bunnies, that I had to skip because I can not handle that shit lmfao. But I feel like this show has just enough of that kind of stuff to where I can deal with it. I definitely don't wish I was Subaru, though, that's for sure.

This show's themes of self-worth, loneliness, never giving up, finding out how to better oneself, and so many other things, are really interesting, especially when compared to other Isekai. The idea of "dying and starting at a checkpoint" is already a brilliant concept to base a realistic, dark fantasy story off of, but it's really executed so well in this show.

I never really thought about it before, but this pseudo-time travel mechanic really is like Majora's Mask. And just like that game, this show manages to use that to create amazing characters, motivations, reactions and emotions. People will do things slightly different for various reasons per each "round", and it really makes them feel complex and human, even if a... lot of characters are... very extra lol.

In terms of my favorite characters, obviously Subaru has a big leg up given how he's the main focus for so much character development. And he really does feel like his own character. Like, he's not someone you, the viewer, want to insert themselves into. Hell, like I said before, I'm really glad I'm not him. This is a story, one of someone who constantly compares himself to and relies on others, who utterly lacks self-worth or love, who believes he has to bear the burden of pain and suffering in place of everyone else.

When I first watched the show, I was younger, more depressed, had much less self-worth instilled in me, and those themes were really impactful at that time. Of course, I was also bittered by them a bit, in the sense that I didn't have a Rem to tell me they loved me, or an Echidna to be a source of comfort (albeit not good comfort). I didn't have an Emilia to fall in love with or anything. But I also didn't have a horde of bunnies eating me alive so that's fair. Anyways, yeah, even if I didn't have the cast of beautiful women (and, more importantly, Otto) to help reassure my self-worth and show me the love that I wanted, I still took heart in the idea of loving yourself.

The show loses some impact upon second viewing, but it also helps me really appreciate the pacing and ordering of events. When you first watch it, things can feel kind of hopeless, scattered, chaotic, painful. Which, I reckon, is part of the point, and it's impressive the show can make you feel those things. But watching it while knowing everything that happens really helps me notice how intentional certain details or events are, and how everything connects and affects Subaru and the others. It's a really solid show.

I'm so excited for Season 3 to happen, though I dunno when that'll be. Much like Mushoku Tensei, I may have to add this to my list of "things to read eventually". Though apparently the Light Novel is not progressing very quickly. Oh well, it's an option.

The show is full of so much emotion. In its facial expressions, in its incredible voice acting, and in its events. The scene at the very end of Season 1's final episode is perhaps one of the best bombshells to end a season ever. Like, you did all of that work, half a season's worth of scheming and fighting, to finally overcome it, and at the very end, you find out that just one of the things you were trying to protect is... gone. Especially the way the show starts out Season 2, with the despair, the willingness for Subaru to end his own life to try it over again, only to realize his checkpoint has been updated to after it's happened, so he can't possibly save her.

It's such a powerful way to take what looked like an overall victory, and bring back some reality to the situation. It's grim. It's really impactful. The show's full of those moments, where you can feel Subaru's anger, anguish, relief, pain. And, like I said before, the emotions on display through the facial expressions and voice acting is unbelievable. I don't think I've ever seen a show depict such emotions as well.

Very impressive show, I'm so glad to be able to experience it once again. And not only that, but get some great studying out of it too. The show's language is a lot more complicated than I was expecting, but because of it, I've made over 100 flash cards and got so much practice. I was even able to point out some certain words that, I can tell, this author likes to use more than other people. At least, I think so. It's cool to be able to notice those types of things.

My favorite characters are either Echidna, Emilia, Subaru, or Beatrice. Though I love Otto too. When I first watched Season 1, when I was younger, Rem became my comfort character (I refuse to use the word "waifu"), but I've since forgotten who that character is. Unfortunate.

[subiysu-chan]

Tonight I wanted to find other Innocent-related blogs (I read it a year ago and the fixation came back), so I scrolled through who you follow (didn't mean to stalk so sorry if it comes off like I did... it was my intention to find similar content creators) and I found 2 things:

1. Sakamoto's old blog where he posted foot pics

2. A blog called scripttorture (through looking at scriptstructure and other script- blogs which are all AMAZING btw) which made me realise how much effort and research Sakamoto put into his manga, and how accurate the scenes of and reactions to abuse really were. And also the fact subyss is a drinker who believes his job is an art, even though it's unsuccessful in nature and very very stupid. And the way Charles reacted more to Anne-Marthe's psychological conditioning than his father's physical abuse. And the way Anne-Marthe's punishment made Marie a lot more resilient and motivated and wanting to be in control.

I apologize for the rant, I have to share my thoughts on this manga and the fandom is WAY TOO DAMN SMALL. So sorry for making you put up with it.

Thanks. No need to apologize. Yeah...Do know of @scripttorture and read some of their bibliography...It's interesting. And yes, Shinichi Sakamoto did do his research on the psychology of torture, like Subyss being an idiot and Charles more impacted by psychological conditioning than physical abuse...To an extent. Charles-Henri also seems to be mostly suicidal in this manga. For example, at one point he considers slicing his veins and seriously intends to talk to his father he plans to become a monk and reject the family profession, after his father literally tortured him for rejecting the family profession.

Also, Shinichi Sakamoto's Charles-Henri actually displays almost all Slytherin values, exept self-preservation...Which is interesting. It's implied that he was able to hide his identity in a boarding school out of all places for a certain amount of time and still able to somewhat succeed academically.

I have devoted my university studies to this man, Charles-Henri Sanson, and...Let's just say he was rather incompetant at his job, was willing to risk his post, what was left of a reputation and possibly even his life for a night with a stranger, but miraculously survived many lynching mobs. The more I learn about the XVIIIth century, the more amazed I am this man made it passed 30. Also, my opinion on him is more revisionistic, as I don't think this man really cared about his reputation...at least not sincerely. Because when we place his desire for rehabilitation in the economical and political context of the French Revolution, it very clearly appears as an act of self-preservation. If he indeed attended boarding school and managed to be moderately successful, academically speaking, it's a sign that he was a very intelligent person.

[macrotiis]

Sorry for the silence lately, after I went on a trip for my niece's first birthday, I then had to house/dogsit for Gwen's parents, where I didn't have much internet access.

When I did get home, I kinda got hit with a bit of a depression wave that I'm just starting to get over. Felt a bit like my life was spiraling a bit out of my control, but I am getting a handle back on that.

It's not all bad though, I went to NZGDC yesterday, which is a game developers conference for my country. I got to meet up with my uni classmates & talk to them about returning to my study next year. I've even offered a classmate some help with his 3rd year project, a fighting game, where I will do some animation work :)

So as much as I was spiraling a little, I have managed to find my motivation again. I'm gonna try do some personal study to prepare to return to game dev classes coz that shit is hard & my brain HATES coding, I just gotta learn to get past that lol

Also rly wanna get back into 3D stuff lol

Um another thing is I'm currently negotiating getting a new kitty which is exciting! Maybe around October or a few months after that :3

[sulaimanistudies]

recovery Pt. 1

A few weeks ago, I posted about Day 1/30 or something along those lines. At the time, I didn't think I would have the motivation to keep up with it, and sadly, I was right.

Old habits die hard, and ever since falling ill and constantly battling various ailments, I've spiraled deeper. It has been tough for me to understand why I'm even studying if my medication is going to make me sleep for 16 hours a day anyway. What's the point of doing anything if I can't find value in absolutely anything?

If it wasn't the flu, it was something else. Sometimes it was my back, an inflammation, an upset stomach, or a side effect of some medicine I had to take. It felt as though I had no control over my life, and I was stuck in a constant cycle of managing my illness and the side effects of their medications.

But it wasn't just my illness. I can always use that as a valid excuse, but sometimes it is just me. Sometimes it's a glittery, shiny H&M ad that has me scrolling through their website for hours. Or maybe it's that party of someone who once meant something to me, but now we only smile when we pass each other that had me cleaning every inch in my room for over three hours. Or maybe it's just the fact that I'm so far away from everything and everyone I've ever known and I hate to be so alone

And after my little week long break down, I was launched directly into finals week.

Any scope of saving my grades had long vanished, and here I was feeling directionless, unmotivated, and burnt out. After my third finals paper that went worse than I though it would, I was devastated. I needed someone ( god anyone) to just cut me some slack

And then, I caught my first break.

Every day from 5 to 7 pm is the golden hour, but somehow, so wrapped up in my own sadness, I never noticed it. Until I did. I opened my curtains, flung open the doors and windows, and let the light flood in. It's 95 degrees outside, but I couldn't care less. I sat there motionless for two hours until the sun set, and for the first time in a while, things felt okay.

[irrigos]

ok here is my objectively correct ranking of chandler groover fl stories (sorry there was a recent study independently conducted by me that determined my subjective opinion of fl is actually objectively correct)

1. Cricket, Anyone? - yeah, I'm basic. what about it. everyone talks about how the lore reveal is cool (and it is) but also more importantly: its funny. i love when fallen london has jokes

2. Por Una Cabeza - this one is actually tied for first. i think cricket is more ICONIC (and funnier overall) but I think this one might be a stronger narrative. Which one is actually in first depends entirely on which one i thought about most recently

3. Paisley - it was hilarious that right around when this story came out, which is all about making outfit changes to unlock more story, fbg tried to do the outfit lock thing. lol. perhaps even lmao.

4. Codename: Sugarplum - I don't think you could conceive of an animal that i would be less interested in trying to help than a miniature dachshund. but this story was pretty fun anyway

5. SALON SCANDAL! - A little creativity in presentation goes a long way when youre playing a bunch of exceptional stories in quick succession, and a story that is a flashback to not long after you arrived in London, where you not only get to choose your own choices, but what is at least publicly considered to be The Truth of the situation? That's fun! That's novel! I even like the fact that you don't ever get to learn what ACTUALLY happened- did you lie to the reporter? Did you tell the truth? Does it matter? What you told him is what people know. That's functionally the truth. But this one gets points off for deciding my character's motivations for me in the end, and also because the base story is kinda boring.

6. my kingdom for a pig - sorry for being a big thicky bo-bo but this one gets points off for the whole ending sequence being confusing to me. There's a particular style of writing that shows up a lot in FL where things are evocatively written, but vague and abstract. Some people really like this. That's why SMEN is popular, and people claimed to have enjoyed Flint. I think it sucks! My brain just slides right off them because I can't find something concrete to actually hang onto. I managed to grasp what was happening in this one a little better than other examples of this style of writing (see: Flint, which is my nemesis and I will not rest until I see it slain) but it's still a little off-putting to me and I don't enjoy it. Also I can't stop thinking about the way that FL tells you about it's lore, which is to say, it doesn't really. What the fuck is a Stone Pig? I mean, I know because I read the wiki, but what if I was just trying to learn about FL by playing it? Where does this come up? I think it's just in Sunless Sea, and here. And maybe a little mention in the Taste of Lacre stuff? idk. i also think the stone pigs lore is so rarely brought up that it seems kind of superfluous to the fallen london lore. i dont really know what's added by there being another animal that lives on/in the bazaar that propels it through the high wilderness. i would have just assumed that was like. a power it had. "How does the bazaar travel between stars?" is not a question i would have asked because i would have assumed it can just. do that.

7. caveat emptor - i was really on board with this one when i started it, because i was like "oh cool its like fallen london dracula!!! i love it when they do classic lit in the exceptional stories" but i think it kinda got up its own ass with its own lore, and lost the Dracula energy and also didn't have any of the humor that I really liked in the best groover stories

7. the hurlers/discordance storyline - remember above, when I said that I don't like the poetic but vague style of writing that is common in fl?? Yeah. the discordance stuff is also easier for me to follow than Flint but it is, unfortunately, kind of annoying. its all like "you DONT walk up the stairs and you DONT go into the anchoress's kitchen and you CERTAINLY ABSOLUTELY DO NOT eat all her doritos and then leave the bag on the counter" like ok i get it. youre being so obscure and mysterious. heres a medal. can we just get to the story already.

9. the crocodile who would be king - what even happened in this one. what was i trying to achieve. im sure all you smarty smart heads are gonna read this and be like 'UMMMMM irrigos it was VERY clear" but please consider the fact that i am disabled and also i am dumb and cant read. why am i here? why did this ask me to help? what am i even trying to help them do? why did this story take like 100 actions? i liked the fact that there was a nemesis tie in at the end though. thats always a hoot.

[reyn-bargs]

GAMING

gaming has been one of my hobbies ever since the pandemic started. at first I was a little hesitant to gaming since my parents didn't really encouraged us in those things when we were little. I was only influenced by my friends and some close cousins.

until it came to the day I really started to love playing. I can't go on any day without playing and keep on wanting that satisfaction every time I'm playing. In other words yeah im addicted (just kidding). 

gaming is one of the reasons that kept me motivated. I could really say it helped me be more productive in managing my time since I am still going to school. gaming also gave me inspiration in every way. 

even though I really like gaming of course i didn’t leave my studies and I am still currently studying hard.

There were some mobile games that I played when I was a kid but i don't really remember them but what started my gaming era was roblox (HAHAHHAA GAMING BA YON I DUNNO)

my friends invited (dinemonyo) me to play roblox and me being a good friend, of course I tried. roblox definitely gave me a new perspective. It's like it showed me a bunch of different games that you can see in different apps (copyright) though i stopped playing it for a while but started playing it again when the lockdown happened. online calls are now very common since us kids can’t really see/meet each other. me and my friends will play everyday with whatever games we find in roblox.

then days pass of course we discover new things including games. just last january my friends discovered this game genshin impact which I can say is what really got me into gaming, rpg, and gacha games. The storylines, characters, the open world, and many other things in genshin impact got me mesmerized. This game is also what got me into spending money (w/ ofcourse my parents permission). genshin impact is really one of my favorite games.

just this september, my aunt bought me a new laptop which certainly has higher specs than my old one and this gave me more opportunities to try new and more games that my old laptop cannot handle and one of them is valorant. valorant is a free-to-play first-person tactical hero shooter. my friends have already played this since last year and i just watched them play and improve and now that i have a new laptop, i aid I also want to try this game, ao i did and all i can say it definitely got me hooked even though i'm not really into shooting games or maybe because i have friends to play with that made me enjoyed it. 

there are still many more games that I enjoyed playing with my friends. I learned new things and also lessons. But the most important thing is to cherish this moments with your friends and continue what you love doing.

[annaizscribbling]

18 for the ask game ^_^

18. How does your OC feel about education? How much education do they have? Are they studious or a slacker?

Firstly, thank you for so many asks!!! This is so fun, you didn't specify one in particular so I'll do em all. Sorry this is so late

Athena: She’s complicated because she was an excellent student as a kid. She had almost perfect marks for her entire education, but it def ruined her. Between her parents, teachers, friends, and relatives, there was an immense pressure to be preform well that slowly created a very complicated relationship between herself and her achievements. She loves and supports learning and education, but doesn’t really like the current American education system, or the way kids in it are treated. She has a college degree in English that she utilizes as a full time author. In other words, she’s studious and completely burnt out lmao

Luna: Luna hated school. She hated being there, she hated talking to people, she hated being looked at, and she hated the pressure of tests and deadlines. She didn’t always hate the topics, she found science rad and didn’t mind a decent percentage of the books they had to read. Luna was pretty sharp, but her homelife greatly interfered with her grades. Teachers knew she was smart, but troubled, and both Luna and her mother managed to evade any real investigations. She switched rapidly from great student to terrible to great again

Bree: Okay Bree wasn’t exactly an attentive student. She’s pretty meh on education in general, do it girlboss or whatever idk sorta mood. She doesn’t really try unless she finds it interesting. She wasn’t much of a reader, she hated math, and she really just suffered through school until she had theater. She loved socializing and really loved when she had classes with Ellie, but she was a bit of a slacker in school.

Ellie: She was a hard worker in school, who greatly enjoyed group projects (insane I know) and art class (not that she was good at it) and she was always loved by her teachers and classmates. She’s really supportive of education and adapting it to the individual.

Calypso: Calypso sees education as mostly a tool. She was very smart, and picked up on things and the basics of modern education pretty easily, so school in general wasn’t too necessary. She doesn’t technically have a high school degree even (though she did attend college here in there on jobs. Excellent marks)

I’m throwing in the guys too why not.

Daniel: Enjoyed school more or less, loved playing football and volunteering through the school. He had pretty average marks and didn’t hate it, especially history class, he enjoyed.

Seven: Seven was an edgy little sht who was quite smart, but way too distracted by his own emo-ness. He was a loner going thru it, often too occupied to keep up with school. He struggled with connections and deadlines, making it hard to stay motivated in high school, but he thrived in college. Some therapy, some friends, and a ton of hard work helped him grow into a pretty well adjusted adult. Still emo (but like olive green emo, if u feel me) and just a chill dude. He looks back at the actual learning part pretty happily. He sucks at math tho.

Jonathan: Jonathan was shipped off to a fancy boarding school as a kid. He endlessly tried to escape and run off, to the point of getting sent home. He hated school, but mostly out of resentment towards his father. He ended up being some form of homeschooled, working with tutors and online work. He devoted many hours of his time to studying their massive library and could rarely be found without a textbook in his hands. He ended up graduating at 16 and moving out the following year, all out of pure spite. His views on education are complicated, and he knows he’s biased.

[irarelypostanything]

"Mandatory Fun" vs. Play

I'll try to do a little more tl;dr this time. My last post was long-winded, even by my standards.

Some people say I'm soft-spoken. Maybe that's why I write. When I write, I get to feel like everyone is equally loud.

Here's the definition of play:

engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

"the children were playing outside"

20 pages into "Play: How it Shapes The Brain...", by someone who studied it academically for decades, and the definition is similar. It has to be voluntary. It has to be intrinsically motivated. It's kind of like play = flow + intrinsic motivation.

Why do I care? Well like I write last time, maybe this is it. Maybe "play" is the key to happiness and success. The problem I have right now, at least in the tiny bit of attention I have given the book thus far, is that I think the premise can be misattributed.

Let me try to think of an example. The book cites the example of how JPL tried to hire the most talented engineers with the best grades. They weren't great at problem-solving, it turned out...their knowledge was too academic and theoretical. They realized that the best metric was people who actually problem-solved for fun. So they started instead looking for people who did things like reverse-engineer in their free time.

The problem? That's basically the same thing software engineer managers have tried. It's not wrong - in fact, it may be a better metric than what we currently do - but it breeds an environment in which people get the notion that to succeed as software engineers, they need to spend every waking moment coding. Some companies look for this, but some individuals push back.

In the case of JPL, maybe some of those engineers didn't do things like reverse-engineer for fun because they had other hobbies. That isn't to say that it was wrong to hire based on that criteria - just that it starts to say something a little more obvious. People who enjoy things are going to be better at them. If you're hiring an animator, and you find someone so passionate about their craft that they continue to draw outside of work, then they're probably really good.

To reign it in, I heard two people in a software engineer podcast lament that they are putting a bias on young people. This is because young people typically don't have families yet. Their job can be their sole responsibility.

The next thing to address with "play" is that the definition can get murky. The author of this book, during an interview, said its best thought of as a state of mind...so if an Olympian truly enjoys running then that can be play. But a key criteria is intrinsic motivation. Is anything truly purely intrinsically motivated? I think the author himself would probably say no, and that's why the definition is meant to consist more of simple guidelines. Running can make you fit. Scrabble can improve your vocabulary. That doesn't mean running and Scrabble are never a form of play, ever. The author seems to be going more for a negative definition. Writing, for example, can be a form of play even if someone also does it for a living. But if they hate it and are absolutely just doing it for money, then even League of Legends isn't play if the person doesn't find it fun.

...for example, I don't. I plan to revisit it one day just to remember what it's like to be yelled at by four people.

Voluntary play seems to be very effective and even makes employees productive (ie the optional ping pong table). "Forced fun" does not get the author's stamp of approval.

I can't help but end with Facebook, which I recently added to get Facebook integration on the Fair Oaks Kiwanis site. I just don't get it. Everything seems like "mandatory fun." The stories that you can auto-create. The reels that you can't hide no matter how hard you try. Obviously it IS optional, and therefore obvious play. But I don't see why they made these changes.