#i just don’t believe theyll sign him

[dandelioneffect]

Yuki was unbelievably fast this weekend, even during the race he was on par with pierre based on lap times, sometimes even faster despite being caught in a drs train. Defended against Lewis the goat. What are they waiting for to sign him again? 1 year contract will only be embarrassment by the way, none less than 2 is needed.

[wastelandlovingscenarios]

Romanced!companions react to their precious fem!sole survivor getting slapped or strikes by an npc right in front of them? Can we categorize this; who would be the violent/threatening/just angry group? >:^0

omg, i’m pretty sure none of them would be remotely calm if that happened... but damn imagine the outcome of that poor npc. they lived a good life. this was a short request while i work on like 7 other ones, LOL.

thank you for requesting and please enjoy!

the next request i’m posting is gonna be a react that turned out a little longer than i expected so buckle up. 🤠

-

Danse:

violent/threatening

danse would for sure fall under the violent criteria of this situation. he already has one foot in the door once someone dares to go too close to sole, but hit her? that’s a totally different story for another day. that person better be praying to some god out there to give them mercy cause danse knows he won’t. the minute he hears that slap on soles face, it will trigger him to attack without a word. and to answer the question; does danse need a gun to do the job? absolutely not. those muscles are not just for show after all. no matter how many people hold him back, he will always fight his way through the crowd of people and beat the living fuck out of the person, even if they’re begging for him to stop. he won’t even realize the damage he’s done until after and won’t regret it either way, knowing that it was well deserved on their case. now if it was a situation where it was shoving or showing signs of starting a fight with his beloved, he’d step right in front of them and stare them down angrily with the biggest scowl ever. in some cases, that’s more than enough to scare most people off towards the other direction but in a few, he’s forced to threaten them. “i advise you step away unless you desire for this situation to escalate into something that involves solely you and i.” no one will ever be a threat to sole on his watch and he will make sure that nothing will stop him from protecting her.

Deacon:

threatening mixed with violence (depending the intensity of the situation)

deacons nice. he’s really laid back in most situations and is more than willing to let things go if he feels like it’s not worth the trouble. following that, deacons nice to a certain point and if you cross that point? consider yourself on his hitlist for the rest of your life. the intensity of the situation will determine how he’ll react towards it. if the person were to do as simple as shove sole, he’d keep an eye on them and say something within the lines of, “woah, woah, take it easy.” now if it was something like a slap or a punch, he wouldn’t even let it happen, not while he’s around. deacon would have fast enough reflexes to catch their wrist and he’d grip it enough to leave a mark, a displeased expression on his face. he’d even go as far as making jokes with an evil smile, such as, “oops my hand slipped,” or “oh you dropped this,” and proceed to deck the person as hard as he can with his free hand, not caring whether or not he knocks them unconscious. after that incident, he’d constantly terrorize the poor individual, often pulling pranks on them without any breaks. sometimes, he’d even go near them and speak in a happy tone while patting their back in a manner where it seemed a little too friendly.

Maccready:

threatening

mac is aware he’s not muscular nor is he made for fighting, which is why he sticks with guns during most situations. hes a lanky man and gets intimidated a little easier than most people, knowing that many of them could take him down with something as simple as a punch. it’s easier to say he’s more confident with a gun in his hand in these instances. despite his weaknesses, he would not hesitate to step up, knowing that hes unable to control his anger. he’d immediately point the gun at the persons temple and cock it just for intimidation purposes, but knows that he’s more than willing to pull the trigger if he needs to. it benefits him and the commonwealth more than damages it, seeing that this world needs one less asshole living it in, so who is he to care if this person dies or not? he’d slowly press it harder against the persons head, angrily speaking, “back away now.” if the person does so, he’ll gladly let them walk away without an injury and instead tend to sole. he wouldn’t let them go without some snarky comment like, “yeah keep walking and please let the door hit you on the way out.” if they refuse to move away from sole though, he’d gladly take the butt of his gun and smack it against their temple within seconds, completely ignoring the persons body knocked out on the floor. mac would get sole up and out of there as soon as he can, complaining under his breath about how much of that guy was an asshole and how he shouldve shot him.

Hancock:

violent group

consider one thing; that this person who fucked over his lover is beyond dead in his eyes. no one touches his sunshine, and if they dared to? theyll be wishing they hadn’t. hancock can quickly become someone’s friend, but the same can be said if it were an enemy. if he’s willing to stab someone for getting even a little too chummy and touchy with sole, imagine what he’d do if they dared to inflict pain on them. depending on where they are, like a bar for instance, he’d grab a glass bottle and crack it on the guys head, pushing him down on the floor without another word. using his shotgun, he’d make sure he’d put a few bullets through his body before he decides he’s completely satisfied with the new makeover he’s given them. now if he was in a more violent mood and was definitely not having it, he’d want to have their blood on his hands and wouldn’t care if it stained his clothes or not. he wants to send the message to everyone watching that if anyone dares to fucking cross his line, they’re gonna learn it the hard way and he will make it very known how the outcome of the situation will be. for example, he has a knife and what better way to use it than to stab the fuck out of someone for pissing him off? in some cases (depending on the severity of the situation), he’ll shank them in a place where he knows it’ll hurt the most and leave them there to suffer so they’ll get the idea that if they fuck with the people he treasures, they have another thing coming.

Nick Valentine:

mix of threatening and just angry.

honestly, nick is very civil about most cases and he won’t get violent unless absolutely necessary. he will definitely be beyond angry and give the person so much fucking shit for their actions. nick almost never yells but in this case, he’d yell so loud, it would fill up the silence of the room. nick also uses a lot of profanities when doing so, unable to maintain his professional attitude and his usual cool. “now what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” he’d even go as far as shoving them back, keeping a distance between sole and the person who deemed themselves as a threat to her presence. he’d try to minimize the possibility of violence arising, knowing that both him and sole are not as replaceable as they seem. he’d sneer at the person who striked sole, talking in the most irritated tone possible, “if i wasn’t here controlling her anger, you would’ve been dead on the pavement just a few minutes back, pal. consider yourself lucky that you were spared.” regardless if the person continued talking or not, nick would casually take soles hand and pull her away from the scene as he let out a remark loud enough for them to hear; “we don’t have time for the likes of you anyway, so take your trouble elsewhere.” nick has like zero shame when it comes to back talking or insulting someone he’s not fond of, so you best believe he won’t shut up until you both are out of sight.

Preston:

honestly, just angry.

preston will avoid violence at all costs, considering he doesn’t favor the idea and as much as he hates seeing sole get hurt, he doesn’t want to risk starting another issue. sole has a reputation amongst the commonwealth and the last thing he wants is to taint it or fuck it up, so he lets sole decide whether or not violence should be pursued. also considering that she has more than enough on her plate, he doesn’t want to add on to the list of problems she already has. so unless this guy is literally on the verge of gravely injuring his other half, he won’t do much besides step in front of sole to protect her from any further hits. he’d rather take the hits than to let someone as important as her take them firsthand. he wouldn’t forgive himself if such a thing happened. even if sole did most of the work in the end, he’d still send them the dirtiest look he’s ever given anyone and his hand would already be on the trigger of his laser musket, ready to fire at the guy anytime just in case. before officially leaving the person to do their own thing and bidding them goodbye, he’d get a little up close and personal, talking in the most threatening tone possible (even if he’s not the greatest at it); “once you mess with the general, you mess with the minutemen. i’d suggest you choose your battles a little better next time around.”

Sturges:

just angry

we all know by now sturges is a huge pacifist and will refuse to resort to violence unless he has no absolute choice but to do so. sturges is a very kind man and just like deacon, he’s willing to let most cases go but he respects sole too much to let violent situations like this slide. even if he’s very afraid to get into a violent situation head on, he’ll try to keep it as calm as possible, not wanting to escalate the situation more. being the considerate lover he is, he will ask sole to stay back and keep away from the person as much as possible as he tries to handle the situation himself. even if sturges doesn’t show it, he does get very angry in these instances and will not allow it to happen regardless of the reason. he’ll probably talk to the person with a firm tone and an irate expression but do nothing further than that unless the individual wants blood spilled, which in this case, sole is brought back into the situation. knowing sturges, he’d probably tell the person something like, “hey buddy, i really don’t appreciate what ya just did to my girl. ya need to quit it cause it ain’t right.” or, “if we got a problem, you can always just come to me instead of strikin’ that beautiful lady of mine. i’m willin’ to fix it with ya and if not, then i’m willin’ to take the hit.. though i’m sure my girl wouldn’ appreciate such a motive.” he knew she really wouldn’t. sole would shoot them down before he could let out a soft, “told ya so.”

Gage:

the ceo of violent

even if the raider life consists of injuries, blood, dirty work, and violence, he will never allow sole to get hurt under his watch. even if he tells her to toughen up and get used to it, he truly wants to protect her from the world and anything that could run as a potential hazard. that being said, he doesn’t care who the fuck strikes sole- it could be a man, woman, the highest and most royal person in the planet and it’d still have the same result in the end. gage wouldn’t even give them a chance to explain themselves and would simply let out a small, “oh fuck no, you ain’t.” and shoot them down himself before sole could give him an order. he would take the situation into his own hands with or without soles persmission, knowing that they crossed gages line of comfort. if he’s not satisfied with that or feels as if that’s too much of an easy way out, he’ll shoot their leg and come closer to them to step on their chest to block any chance of escaping. “wanna act tough, huh? show me how tough ya are, why dontcha? be my guest and apologize to the overboss. i’ll let her decide if it’s good enough to let ya go.” if sole were to deny every apology, he’d continue to shoot them limb by limb until he decides to put them down completely. now if sole decides their apology is more than enough, he’ll willfully let them go but let her decide their fate on whether they should be put down or not. in the end, if he had his way with that bastard, they wouldn’t be seeing the light for a long while.

[dahniwitchoflight]

man, a lot been happening on the internet lately, talking about content creators and parasocial relationships being a big topic recently

I almost don’t wanna post anything about it, cuz I’m not sure how to avoid any sort of stirring of the pot, but there’s an angle to this situation that I think a lot of people are confused about, and that’s “where does the fault lie when a person gets hurt in a parasocial relationship?”

And people I guess are thinking this is some sort of case of power dynamic’s, but I think thinking of it in these terms is incorrect to be perfectly honest

does a content creator seem to have a lot of sway over someone who’s fallen into a parasocial relationship with them? sure it can seem that way

but is that the content creator’s fault? No, as bad as that sounds to the tumblr crowd

this is NOT the power dynamic between an abusive father and their child, or a skeezy boss and their secretary, or any other real abusive power dynamic where the victim faces some sort of real consequence for not being compliant with the abuser’s wishes

this is the dynamic between a casino and someone with a gambling addiction.

can you argue that the gambling addiction/parasocial relationship wouldn’t exist without the casino/creator existing? sure you can

can you argue that it’s within the interests of the casino/content creator to get customers and fans? absolutely

but can you also say that the problem in the situation here is inherent to the person with the actual addiction problem here? someone who gets too invested in the scenario through their own desires and or addiction problems? That many people can go to a casino or be a fan of a person in a perfectly reasonable healthy amount and never get hurt or encounter any issues? Yeah

Even if you dislike the casino/creator and have hard feelings for putting you into a situation where you believed you were gonna win it all, even though the odds of that happening were never in your favor, and rightfully feel you’ve been victimized by them, the casino/creator existing and doing there thing I really don’t believe is the thing at fault here

I think there’s something to the idea that people who are vulnerable to addictions like gambling and thinking that theyll win the jackpot of millions against impossible odds is not too dissimilar from a singular fan of some content creator thinking, this is it, I’m the one theyll fall in love with over everyone else, against all the odds itll be me

and also whatever prevents them from realizing that the consequences of losing would apply to them as well, other people in the casino might lose all their savings, but it wont happen to me. Other people might get lost in the fantasy and then end up being dumped, but it wont be me

I think the brain juice would see these as very similar situations, and this addiction angle I think explains a lot for how people get into parasocial relationships in the first place and why they feel like it’s so hard to get out 

but people are still free to believe that casino’s/content creators are morally corrupt institutions, just from their nature of the fact that their livelihood depends on people and fans crowding to their type of entertainment

At the end of the day, they cannot control what their fans are going to do, they can’t read the minds of anyone who chooses to come to their establishment, they can’t know at a glance or through conversation who’s going to get addicted and who isn’t, they can only see warnings signs after the fact and then damage control, it’s just a messy reality of life that it happens

There are best practices to prevent these types of things sure but those don’t catch every case and inevitably there are going to be people who fall through the cracks anyway

the correct approach here is to mitigate the addiction problem. that’s the real thing at fault here, not any one person

so to answer the question, where does the fault lie when someone gets hurt in a parasocial relationship?

you might be a victim yes, but not a victim of the casino, as much as it can feel like that, your a victim of an unfortunate affliction

people can be dismissive and yell all they want about alcoholics being drunks, or gamblers having no spine and should just be able to not go to a casino, or people who are overinvested fans should just be able to stop back and not care about a creator so much, but I understand that it’s not that easy

but it still doesn’t make it the fault of whatever you got addicted to, It doesn’t make it anyone’s fault, and the casino/creator has less power over an addicted individual than you think, short of banning them entirely, there isn’t much they can do from their end to mitigate an individual’s behavior, I think that is something some people need to hear, I hope people don’t think I’m callous or believe that people weren’t genuinely hurt by the events that happened to them or something

but the fix to this problem doesn’t lie on the casino’s/creator’s end, it lies in mitigating the addictive disorder in the individual’s in particular’s end

this is purely speaking from someone who runs a blog and has thoughts for a fandom that once upon a time a lot of people seem really invested in, (not so much nowadays lol) 

I cannot control anyone of you, I don’t know any one of you, no matter how much I might try or get close or how close any person out there gets to me, I still can’t predict when I might encounter someone who seems overly starstruck, and in no way do I have the ability to navigate those kinds of relationships properly. I simply do not have that sort of therapeutic training and I think it’s a little bit unreasonable for people to expect that from me, despite how charismatic or not I seem like

I just have indeed had instances where another person got really overinvested in “Dahni Witch of Light”  and wanted to be in my inner circle of socialness and friends and might have been hurt when I declined that, but at the same time, I can’t do anything about that  (thankfully I’m not any sort of real popular LOL and it’s only really happened like once or twice, that I know of, since they made their feelings clear to me in private, but that’s still one or two people that might have gotten hurt)

So what does this all have to do with stuff?

I’ve read all the anecdotes about both Dan Avidan and Vinny Vinesauce, read all the docs, see all these people’s point of view, and yeah it sucks that they got hurt by the circumstances, but all that stuff meant to paint these people in a bad light? did more to me to paint them in a really good light

I saw nothing but people making sure they had the comfort and consent of everything they were involved in, doing best practices when it comes to relationships, talking about their feelings, about their expectations and also doing what they can to protect themselves and their privacy

again the worst things I saw about either of them, is danny building up the fantasy of being with a rockstar a bit too much, egging on any potential parasocial relationship issues that might have already existed, and vinny giving someone HPV (which, is debunked in of itself because that’s not how HPV works in men, even outside of vinny that’s just not how it works.)

the rest of all the stuff I saw esp in the vinny doc, was people not even accusing vinny of saying or doing anything wrong either, but miles and miles of “I assumed he was thinking x” or ”I assumed he was feeling y” and no attempts to communicate with him about any issues they had with him, because they felt awkward doing so, and instead let it fester inside them until they got hurt by it

this is not sexual assault, their mild discomfort about stuff never even happened over sexual topics, just bland things like him over-venting to them sometimes or having lowkey mental issues like being paranoid a little, this is not even being intentionally hurt by someone,  this is being bad at communicating with your partner and letting yourself endure a relationship you weren’t actually happy with, because you didn’t want to get dumped by the person you were invested in

and if you feel like you can’t honestly communicate with your partner, not because of anything they did to you, but because of your own internal conflict over how famous he is, and feeling like you’re forced to endure things you aren’t vibing with in a personal relationship

(mind you, I mean the things they said they endured in the doc which was, they didn’t like when vinny would get ranty about his friends or previous sexual encounters he had that went bad or they got weirded out because they thought he was too paranoid about stuff when they were together....which... okay so like tell him you don’t want to hear about that stuff? communicate your problems to your partner? end of story? you never even attempted that, you never even gave examples of things you thought he would do to you other than dump you if you spoke up...... which, I’m sorry, but that’s not some sort of consequence a victim faces from their abuser.... so you can’t even say he would have had a bad reaction, especially when you give examples of him doing exactly the opposite, apologizing for things that made other people uncomfortable WHEN theyve actually communicated to him that they were uncomfortable with it)

 -Those are signs that you are too overinvested and too parasocially invested with a person to have an honest relationship with them

like, heck these things aren’t even unique to partnerships, you should be able to communicate when anyone around you is making you uncomfortable, even friends, but if you can’t and the only reason you can’t is because of a parasocial investment in that person, that’s not healthy on your end

Danny sure seems to have been a little bit at fault for building up the fantasy of catching feelings for a famous dude when he intended one night stands, is that the best way to have navigated the situation? No probably not, but to a person who doesn’t have a parasocial relationship with him, this behavior would just be disappointing when the fantasy fizzled out, it’s not inherently harmful

after that point, if after the fact a person who had any sort of interaction with them felt hurt by the experience, there honestly is not much more a content creator could have done to mitigate that, in fact Vinesauce I think seems at least more aware of the parasocial thing and tried more strongly to vet the people he was with to not be those kind of people, but again people aren’t mind readers and nothing will ever be foolproof like that, and I guess some people even took him trying to vet that kind of behavior as hurtful in and of itself, (they took him venting about previous parasocial relationships he had and how paranoid and upsetting they were to him, and took it as some sort of threat against them personally, like they were trying to mindgame what exactly he was telling them, assuming he was saying something else that he wasn’t, which, is assumptions that live entirely in their own minds) but I’m just sitting here like, what else could they have done?

I get that people who had sexual relationships with these people could come away feeling really awful about it, feeling manipulated or duped in some way, but what else could have been done to prevent that from happening other than the people in question just, never interacting with anyone? Which is not a realistic solution, and doesn’t fix the problem of the victim in question moving on and getting starstruck by someone else and having it happen it all over again

If these people want to make friends, want to make relationships with anyone, want to have casual sex, want to have any sort of human connection, there unfortunately gonna have to sort the people they encounter into two different groups, people who have parasocial relationships with them and people who don’t, (and this is NOT people are fans of them and people who are not, you can be a fan and not get caught into the parasocial thing) and it is impossible to get this correct in every single individual social experience that theyre gonna have with every single individual human being, regardless if it’s a sexual relationship or not

in conclusion, I really do hope the people who were hurt by all this can truly heal and move on eventually from this, in no way am I trying to lessen their experiences, but I really don’t think other people deserved to be hung from the gallows over this, it’s no one person’s fault, neither the fan’s or the content creator’s, it’s just a messy interpersonal situation

I believe the correct thing to do is spread awareness about the warnings signs that you might be falling into a parasocial relationship, more effort needs to be put into what this looks like, what it feels like, how to avoid it, how to mitigate it, and how to regulate the very real feelings of love and affection someone might have for a person they see all the time in media but don’t have a real connection with, with the understanding of yeah, if you really can’t enter a casino without losing your life savings, a very real conversation needs to be had if you should even be entering these casino’s/watching their content at all

[taegyuun]

finally, the wings took off | pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

genre: angst, fluff

pairing: sunghoon x reader

warnings: mentions of depression probs swearing

word count: 1.8k

“ok this is a great start already! you woke up... 5 minutes before you usually do....” sunghoons voice gradually faded out from being happy to disappointed after checking the time.

a week has passed since you met the said angel and the whole time he’s been trying to “fix” you, his words, not yours. and sure, you’ve made some improvements like waking up at different times and... well that’s about it. sunghoon thought that after a few days or so, you’d gradually grasp the concept of normal life or something in your brain would click and you would’ve had some grand epiphany that the way you’ve been living for the last few years of your life aren’t normal - but contrary to his beliefs, you were nothing of the sort.

you were also very difficult to work with; and incredibly stubborn. you’ve gotten more accustomed to living with the boy but listening to him tell you what to do was not exactly very entertaining on your behalf. sunghoon personally thought that ordering you would be the best way to go about your little situation, considering your life is based on routines and authoritative figures that came from school - but perhaps his idea wasn’t so great.

“sunghoon, i already told you. i don’t need some ‘guardian angel’ or whatever, i’m fine with the way that i live my life even if it isn’t whatever you would call an avergae teens life. i know that. you’re just wasting your time being here.” you sigh dejectedly. you were secretly hoping that somehow you would mange to get out of this hopeless routine. it was often a pain, reliving the same day every single second. but you yourself couldn’t do it. you had to have some sort of help; sunghoon just wasn’t great at it.

“well no matter what you believe, i have to stay here up until you live a normal life. and before you say anything, even if i go up to the upper angels and try to talk to them, theyll just instantly send me back down, because believe me... i’ve tried it many, many times.” his face wasn’t the usual soft almost nonchalant look that he typically wore, instead he seemed more aggravated.

“ok then. what if i just live my life “normally” for a week and then you can move onto another person because i’m “fine” and then i can go back to living my life the way i want to?” you ask after sitting up from bed, getting ready to do your usual stretch before heading to the bathroom. but before you could even reach your arms out, sunghoon was already pushing them down back to your sides before speaking himself,

“y/n you moron, the upper angels aren’t stupid. they literally see everything.” he stares blankly at you as you roll your eyes at his actions before looking around your room and mulling over the idea of actually contributing to his work and trying to change your life.

“fine i guess. i’ll try harder this time.” the sound of his cheering almost made your lips form a smile.

“so what now, huh?”

“well... maybe let’s go shopping? yeah i think that’s a good start. personally, i’m not very huge on shopping but that’s because i’m indecisive but you need to go food shopping and then we can go buy more clothes. y/n you need to start eating more various foods, alright?” sunghoon talks to you almost as if you’re a child, it gets irritating but you understand his reasonings behind it. you like to follow routines, and your routines have to be simple therefore he speaks to you simply.

“alright then, what food should i be eating?” you ask, genuinely curious.

“honestly anything but a balanced diet is the best,” and then sunghoon goes on about all the carbs you need to eat and what sort of proteins there are and all the other things that you already knew except didn’t own, or eat. as he talks to you, you’re already putting your shoes on and taking one of your jackets down from the hooks before quickly grabbing your car keys.

even though you didn’t seem like it, you felt excited for this new change. you were a complicated person. even though you had to have routines, you got bored of them quickly and sunghoon has somehow managed to spark some excitement into your life.

as you both walk down the block to get to your car, you get a few stares from the passerby’s. ok, maybe it wasn’t you who got the stares and it was perhaps the model that was beside you, but that’s just a minuscule detail that you could easily miss.

“sunghoon?” you hear a hum in reply.

“you do realise you’re really pretty? like, incredibly good looking.” instead of a normal reply, you hear a choke and then a fit of coughs. “don’t tell me you’re about to die from choking because someone complimented you? you’re an angel right? you’re meant to be pretty or something.”

“i dont usually get compliments from people alright? i’m not used to it, the most i get is whines from the higher ups or some old pervs trying to hit on me when i get some weird cases,”

“do you wanna talk about it?”

“there isn’t much to talk about, it’s not like they can actually touch me considering i’m an angel so theres nothing to ever worry about.” neither of you realised that you were already in the car, driving and almost at the supermarket. he looks over and sees your brows in a furrow, an obvious sign of confusion. before he gets to ask anything, you beat him to it.

“wait so... i cant touch you? like not even high five or anything? that’s so cool! you’re like... i don’t know, the things in movies- you’re like a ghost!” sunghoon was going to tell that you can actually touch him, only when granted permission, but your expression and the contrast in your voice from usual monotone and bored, stopped him as he instead hummed in agreement and softly smiled, grabbing a shopping cart and heading inside the store.

you huffed as you set down the last bags full of food that you had either never tried or forgotten the taste of down onto your kitchen counter. you then started taking the products out of the bags and placing them in their correct cupboards or shelves in the fridge and some in the freezer.

after you were finally finished with the tedious job, you look over at sunghoon who was leaning against the door frame to your kitchen, as you beamed proudly at him. he lets out a soft laugh as he walks closer to you and looks at what you did to your kitchen.

“you see, look how many choices you have! all the cupboards are full and the possibilities you have with all these ingredients!” you’re surprised at how excited he seemed for you and your now discovered love for placing things away. “whenever you get hungry, tell me so i can teach you new recipes, alright?” you quickly nod at him as he walks off, letting his large wings appear out of his back. he rolls his shoulders and releases a loud sigh and groan, softly propping down onto your couch.

“yeah, why do you even do that? y’know... keep your wings in. isn’t it painful?” you ask as you walk closer to him, before sitting down onto the seat next to the angel.

“i wouldn’t say it necessarily hurts but it’s more like when you sit in one position too long and then you stand up and stretch. i have to do it so i don’t make myself invisible and make you look like you’re a fool speaking to yourself.”

“then... whenever we don’t go out, just have them out! whenever we’re here alone just leave them how they are, let your back rest.”

“i think that’s a good idea,” he then softly smiles at you as his arms extend across the back of the couch, before letting his head roll back and fall onto the the soft cushioning below

more weeks pass, and it has finally reached the mark of sunghoon being your gurdian angel for almost 4 months. you’ve changed an indescribable amount - it occurred to you after a deep talk with sunghoon that routines bored you, but you simply didn’t know what to do with yourself and how to live your life.

you were honestly glad to meet the guardian angel.

you now went out at random times simply for your own will, and you cooked different recipes almost everyday - trying new food constantly. you changed your style and did a whole 180. but sunghoon didn’t want you to completely change, he only wanted you to live like a teen. so, he obviously let you keep certain things the way you liked it; the days you did your laundry or which days you went shopping.

it was nice having him around.

but, the dreaded question had to be asked.

“sunghoon... are you going to leave soon?” you quietly asked, as you went out to latch onto his sweatshirt - another thing you learnt which you could do, only with his consent.

“i’m not sure, y/n. but why ask?” he stopped stirring his coffee with the tea spoon and instead looked down at you with a confused expression.

“it’s just... aren't guardian angels meant to only stay till their case is better? i mean, you’ve figured out why my chart was empty and now i live how i should've lived all along. is there anything you can even do now?”

and then it was silent. it didn’t even occur to the boy that he had completed his task. he had nothing else to do in the human world that was correlated to you. he plainly had no reason to stay, even if he wanted to.

“... do... do you want me to leave?” you almost tug at his arm in anger at the stupid question.

“are you insane? of course i don’t want you to leave! you’re the one who made me finally feel happy, there- there must be a way you could stay... right? or do you want to go?” now it was sunghoons turn to latch onto your arm in disbelief.

“why would i want to leave? i love it here, y/n. being here with you completely changed my life. i’m not chained to some random criminal and i don’t have a crap ton of responsibilities that i couldn’t care less about, it’s literally heaven down here for me... ironic i know, but it is! if i could stay, i promise you, i would.” during his words, his hands moved up from holding onto your arm to cupping your face in his warm and gentle hands. you leant into his touch, with a coil of unfortune building up in your stomach; as if your body knew this might have been the last times you’d feel his soft touch.

“sunghoon please... don’t leave me.”

“i’ll stay for as long as possible, even if it means my wings are taken off.”

[avenger-hawk]

Hi, can you talk a little bit about naruto’s dark, controlling and possessive side? Or if you already wrote about it, link me the post? Thankss

I mentioned something here, here and probably there is smth in this tag. 

And like I said countless times since you guys just don’t care about other ppl, if you write n*ruto’s name entirely it will show up in the search pages and I am fed up with raging SN/SN.S/Nar stans bitching at me.

Sorry (nope, not sorry) to break someone’s bubble but Nar is not a happy ball of sunshine and he’s not selfless. 

He was neglected as a child, totally abandoned to himself with some money each month and an apartment he was supposed to clean and manage all alone. He was shunned or treated like sh*t by villagers and classmates alike, his only ‘parent’ was Iruka who couldn’t be with him always, and his idea of friendship, family, everything was twisted, cause try living all by yourself since you’re a child and you have no idea of why ppl hate you and avoid you. Of course he saw the Hokage as this big authority figure that everyone respects and ‘loves’ in his child mind, and of course he wanted to be Hokage so that ppl would finally respect and ‘love’ him. His idea of love is obviously screwed, and it’s a mix of respect, aknowledgement, deference.

He doesn’t have a sense of equality because he never learned what equality is. He was below everyone else being shunned and hated, and his role model was above everyone else, where he aspired to be.

He started to make friends and he’s all about comrades, yes, like all shounen protagonists. But it’s always him reaching out to them, him protecting them, him changing their minds about something (or about himself), him obtaining their admiration and respect from an initial situation of being the opposite, being considered a good for nothing and a loser.

Sasuke is considered the opposite since the beginning, he’s a good student and shinobi, he’s left all alone too and nothing is shown of his alone life but from the little things we see he learned to manage himself and the house better, he didn’t care about people probably talking behind his back about the massacre, and he obtained a good reputation in the academy, so the story starts with him in a different situation. And Nar considers him a rival, he’s clearly jealous of the ‘success’ he has, not realizing that he’s alone too. Because Nar is not empathic at all, and his child self is even less, being a child with clear difficulties in processing things, which makes sense since he had no education basically. He just sees external signs of adjustment and ‘success’ which is what he wants, so he ‘hates’ Sasuke and he provokes him all the time. They become rivals, then comrades (and rivals), then friends, but it’s always Sasuke who, despite his aloof personality, shows positive signs, first hand feeding him, then defending him against Sak*ra, then shielding him and many other little things while Nar is always overreacting or doing questionable, not to say bad things (like attacking him and tying him up to meet Sak*ra) to him.

Nar’s lack of empathy can be seen after the inn scene, cause instead of being I won’t even say supportive but, not irritating, he mocks Sasuke who just woke up after Tsukuyomi, provoking him so that Sasuke, already (re)traumatized and feeling worthless towards both his brother and Naru, challenges him. Right after waking up from a coma, basically. And ofc Nar doesn’t hold back.

When Sasuke leaves in part 1 Nar is enraged, ofc, and he reacts violently, even their fight is very violent, and ofc it is being a fight, but Nar is really really brutal, feral I’d say, and possessive, trying to bring him back. I don’t remember their fight well but if I’m not mistaken that’s when he first threatens Sasuke to break all his bones?

Then Sasuke leaves and Nar starts his own “sad boy missing his ‘best friend’ drama” and all the fandom is uwu look at him so sensitive, but he’s being abstract there, while when he faces Sasuke direcly or indirectly he’s different, more direct and not sentimental. As expected of a badass fighter, cause that’s what he is, that’s what everyone is in the story. when in part 2 Orochimaru calls Sasuke ‘his’ he goes berserk, and his search for Sasuke becomes even more obsessive, to the point of claiming that if they’ll fight they’ll both die and theyll be ok in the afterlife...this is kinda poetic but also creepy af. It’s stalker material tbh. Also because in that moment Sasuke just ‘killed’ Danzo, he’s exhausted, visibly blind, especially after fighting Kakashi, whose fight clearly took his toll on him (He avoided Sak*ra’s pathetic attempt to kill him but that was easy). Nar has all his energies and he’s stronger physically anyway having more stamina and kyuubi’s chakra. But he’s ready to fight him, even tho he gives a speech because ofc. too bad that Sasuke doesn’t fall for it cause he has his own personality and his own goals, which for Nar is unacceptable cause everyone must be on his side, especially the one he wants.

Sasuke remains on his own side until Itachi does his thing and bla bla bla, Itachi first is brougth close to Nar which was interesting to watch but also a huge narrative move to bring Sasuke to his side as well, getting to fight alongside his beloved brother and wanting to understand him and his ideal of protecting Konoha thus summoning Orochimaru, the 4 Hokage and deciding to join the battlefield. Then they fight together and even then it’s Sasuke who accepts Naru’s lead, not the other way round because Nar would never obey anyone who’s not himself especially he wouldn’t obey someone he wants to possess, metaphorically (but if you like also literally).

When the battle is over and their battle starts he shows his true colors. He’s no longer the one wanting to die with his ‘friend’, he’s a leader wanting Sasuke, his ‘friend’ who in his eyes took the wrong road, to get back to the village, because Konoha is HIS concept of happiness. In fact, Sasuke in Konoha is Nar’s concept of happiness. And to obtain it he uses every method, not just a good ol’ fight, the more brutal the better. In fact their last fight has a different vibe, it’s Sasuke the one who’s more stressed and emotional, he’s drained, completely, cause he wants his revolution and he wants to change the world to make him like Itachi dreamed of, and he needs to eliminate Nar for it, he doesn’t want to eliminate him but he needs to and he clearly explains him why in the beginning of the fight. The way he fights is desperate.

Nar instead is calm, his emotions are under control, he fights with his hands but also with mind techniques because he manipulates Sasuke all the time: he tells him that he didn’t understand his own brother (implying that he did it better. That he, who interacted with Edo Tensei Itachi for a couple of hours, understands him better than the brother who basically worships him!), that everything he believes is wrong, that he knows what’s best for him (which is interestingly exactly what he wanted in life, what a coincidence). And it works, cause Sasuke admits his own defeat, and, later, he is further brainwashed and guilt tripped, jailed and submitted until he’s a perfect Konoha dog. Even in his Shinden episodes he’s away but loyal and guilt ridden for his actions. He became Naru’s watchdog, his most loyal servant. Not his equal. He fulfilled Naru’s wish for him.

And, in case someone’s still not enraged because Hawk how dare you shit on their amazing bond?  shocking huh? yeah I write what I think and I am very interested in their bond actually, since it’s a dark unhealthy one, completely unbalanced, just like I’m interested in Nar very much when he’s not idealized, cause he’s much more complex and interesting with his dark side.

Every episode shows Nar’s lack of care and empathy, his inner violence and selfishness, but they also are justified somehow. I can understand why, since his childhood made him self-centered and lacking the ability to interact with people on an equal basis, basically he never grew up for real, he acted like a grown up person but he remained a child inside, a possessive child who wants something and then discards it. And it shows whenever he ‘saves’ someone with his TnJ, this someone becomes his ‘friend’, loyal to him forever, and he moves on to ‘save’ someone else, all the while having Sasuke as his ultimate goal. Too bad that after he saves him too, he discards him as well. Not as much as the other cause Sasuke is special to him, but not as an equal either. I won’t mention the jail moment while Naru is basking in his popularity cause some don’t see it as canon, but when in the manga Sasuke is leaving Konoha and stumbles on Nar he says he didn’t think the other would come greet him. This shows how their relationship isn’t so amazing, since one would imagine that Nar would be 24/7 with Sasuke after he comes back.

So, all these moments show a clear picture of him as a possessive and selfish person who only ‘cares’ about ppl because he wants to be ‘loved’ (=admired and respected and aknowledged as the best) by said ppl, and whose ‘love’ for Sasuke is possessive and obsessive to an extreme point, a desire to be aknowledged and respected but also to submit the one whom he most ‘loves’, because there is no equality in the way Nar sees himself and the rest of the world, including ‘his’ ‘best friend’.

(btw if someone disagrees, keep it for yourself, I don’t give a damn about discussing with you)

[ts-unpopular-opinions]

Side Tracks opinions part 1: Janus

(Yes I’m staring with Janus and going backwards, I just need to talk about this snake man right now!)

Alright, I’ve seen lots of people give their takes on each of the sides playlists, and honestly... I feel like they’re not all that similar to my interpretations. I mean yes anyone can interpret the songs how they’d like, but some people just flat out ignore canon to see the songs as their ship instead of what I believe they are actually meant to be seen as. Anyways... Janus! Yes let’s go through each song one by one 💛

1) Black Hole Sun: I’ll admit this one was hard for me. The song is obviously so Janus, with plenty of references to snakes and lying, but I can’t seem to put a finger on the exact meaning. If I had to guess, it’s showing Janus’ fist instance of fearing society. He’s realized that the world is not a safe place for Thomas and no one can be trusted (“Times are gone for honest men” “no one sings like you anymore”). He longs for the ignorance of childhood when society didn’t seem to pose a threat and Thomas wasn’t aware of the dangers and lies it held, but he knows that someone has to protect him from it, and that is Janus (“my youth I pray to keep” “hang my head, drown my fear”).

2) Seemed the Better Way: To me, this is a song about Janus knowing his place as a dark side and knowing that the others will not listen to him (“I better hold my tongue” “better take my place”). He initially trusts the core sides to do what needs to be done and take care of Thomas adequately, but when he realizes that it isnt enough, he finds it hard to keep in hiding (“Seemed the better way” “now it’s much too late to turn the other cheek”).

3) Anywhere: A BIG middle finger to society (“It’s a beautiful world, if youve been lied to” “No no no, nothing in this world is beautiful”). Janus basically trusts no one in society, not even the people closest to Thomas because he believes that everyone will do whatever it takes to get what they want (“Every man standing on another man’s back”). He also believes that society has been a huge detriment to Thomas and, AGAIN, is very dangerous (“It’s the world’s excuse for being disfigured and lying to you”).

4) Talking at the same time: This song is about Virgil. The song begins with explaining that a hard time for one person can be a triumph for another in multiple different metaphors (“Umbrellas cost more in the rain” “hard times for some, for others its sweet” “someone makes money when theres blood in the street”). The next part of the song practically shoves it in your face that it’s about virgil leaving (“Well she told me she would leave me, I ignored all the signs” “I know you're leaving and there's no more next time”). Janus was clearly hurt by Virgil leaving and it seems like he was almost in denial about it happening. A line near the end of the song that I found particularly interesting was “Well we bailed out all the millionaires, They've got the fruit, We've got the rind”. This line to me shows that Janus and the other dark sides let Virgil go, possibly in an attempt to get all of the dark sides accepted. Virgil capitalized on this opportunity and of course, got accepted, however, he left the others behind. Despite wanting Virgil to get accepted by the light sides, Janus remains bitter that Virgil was the only one. Virgil got the fruit, and the rest of the dark sides got the rind.

5) All the Good Girls go to Hell: Janus believes that Thomas needs to listen to him if he is going to stay safe and healthy. He thinks that his assistance, above all other sides, expecially Patton, is crucial for survival in this messed up world. (“And once the water starts to rise, And heaven's out of sight, She'll want the devil on her team” “Look at you needing me”). You’ll find it a common theme in this playlist that Janus refers to himself as the devil or an evil entity of some sort... Just thought I’d point that out.

6) Denial: Well, its in the title folks! Thomas is (or was) in denial. Janus is aware of the moments when Thomas thinks about consulting him or using one of his functions, but almost as soon as he gets the idea, he drops it and acts like the thought never happened (“Don't just shut your eyes closed” “You know that I can hear you thinking, I've heard you all the way from here, But if I look you in the eye though, It's like your thoughts all disappear”). Thomas is struggling for answers to questions that only Janus can answer, but he refuses to listen to consult him and Janus desperately wants this to stop (“I know you're looking for direction, I know where you wanna go” “Please don't turn the light out, I don't think the conversation's over”).

7) Trust in Me: Obviously, the original song has much more sinister undertones, but when listening to the song from Janus’ perspective, I get a different vibe. Basically, Janus just wants Thomas to trust him and give him more reign over decision making. Not much for this one.

8) Razzle Dazzle: JANUS IS EXTRA! Is anyone shocked? Also a HUGE showman. But again, no one’s surprised. Janus believes that the only way to get the light sides to listen to him is to practically put on a show to cover up whatever his true intentions are (“How can they see with sequins in their eyes?” “Razzle dazzle 'em And theyll never catch wise!” “How can they hear the truth above the roar?”) I could keep listing lines but theyre literally all just different versions of the same sentiment.

9) When the Chips are Down: The title right off the bat shows that, again, Janus believes that Thomas needs to look to him when important decisions are on the line. There are also a lump sum of jabs at patton in this song, lines like “Aim for the heart, shoot to kill” and “Cast your eyes to heaven, You get a knife in the back”. Theres also a lot of lines, yet again, of Janus practically begging Thomas to trust him and no one else (“Ain't nobody but yourself to trust” “Help yourself, To hell with the rest, Even the one who loves you best”).

10) Mandy goes to Med School: Soooo this one... Honestly, I don’t really have a lot. The original meaning of the song is not very applicable to Janus, so its a bit hard to pinpoint its meaning. The only thing I can think of is that Janus is again hating on society and the crazy things that people have to go through in it. If you weren’t aware, this song is about coat-hanger abortions.

11) I put a Spell on You: This one seems pretty striaghtforward to me. Janus knows that Thomas doesn’t want him, and it drives him up the wall, but he does what a snake boi does and slithers his way in anyways (“And I don't care if you don't want me, I'm yours right now” “I can't stand it 'cause you put me down”). I suppose you could argue that you could replace Thomas with Patton (mostly because daddy is used like 10 times in the song 😂) but a later song covers their realtionship extremely well.

12) Evil Night Together: Another toughie. My gut feeling is that this is a song about Remus and Janus just going out and having a wild night together. As I read into the lyrics more, though, it seems almost like Janus is doing this for Remus. Like he wants Remus to feel accepted and loved by him (something that can’t be said by Thomas). I just can’t read some of these lines without getting big Momceit vibes... i mean... theyre so supportive! “I'll hold your hand while they drag the river” “I'll cuddle you in the undertow” “I'll hold you close while they dust for prints”. Then theres of course this line... “Who's gonna make you a hero?” And to me, that is Janus saying that, if Thomas only sees Roman as his hero and not Remus, then it is Janus’ job to make Remus feel like a hero. Janus also saying “No need for cake or flowers” also feels like him reassuring Remus that he doesn’t need to be like his brother to be perfect and loved.

13) Don’t tell Mama: I think I’ve seen some people interpreting “mama” as Thomas in this song, but to me Patton seems like a better fit, especially after their interactions in the most recent episode. Basically this song is all about how Janus doesn’t mind people knowing about the bad things he does, but he can absolutely not have one person know. Janus seems to have grown a soft spot for Patton in the new episode and if you ask me, he would definately not want patton finding out about some of immoral things he’s wanted Thomas to do. I mean he literally waits for Patton to sink out and then the second he’s gone he starts scheming about pushing people down stairs and sabotage.

14) You’re a Cad: Another Virgil one, but this time it’s after Virgil’s acceptance. I think Janus has little faith in the beginning that Virgil would get far in his journey to the light side. Whether that is because of envy or just plain pessimism, I’m not sure, but he definately doubted Virgil would ever be able to escape his past (“So now you want the whole world to notice that you've come around, Now you expect, We'll see how you're really so much better now, But I know the truth” “What's the point pretending that you could be a better man, Just give in, since you always end up right back where you began”). Despite his reluctance to support Virgil’s endevors, Janus shows a softer side for Virgil that has gone completely untalked about in canon (“You're a rascal and a rogue, a villain and a crook, Still I tug at your line, I'm a fish on your hook” “Still I know the truth, but I have a sweet tooth for a Cad and a bounder, a dog and a cheap”). Janus really misses Virgil and I would go as far as to say that he regrets the things that he’s done to make Virgil want to leave (“I should be better, but I'm worse” “You're reckless with my heart, still I wait by the phone”).

15) As far as I can See: A sadie but a goodie. Janus doesn’t really understand love, but he’s sure that no one loves him (“As far as I can see Nobody loves me”). No one listens to him, no matter how much he shouts and cries. He doesn’t believe that anyone could love him if they are unwilling to hear him out and communicate with him (“As far as I can see, Nobody's listening” “And when I'm crying out, Nobody cries back for me”).

16) Criminal: AH MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE PLAYLIST! I LEGIT CRIED MY GUYS! Anyway. Janus LOVES Thomas. I would go as far to say that Janus loves Thomas more than any other side. Despite his lacking knowledge of love and what it feels like, he knows for a fact that what he feels for Thomas is the closest thing he will feel to love (“Because he's all I ever knew of love”). Now that thats out of the way, lets get to the juicy stuff... Janus feels like a criminal as he’s been taught over and over again that his opinions and thoughts are bad and harmful (“Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal” “I've done wrong and I wanna suffer for my sins”) This song is ultimately about Janus wanting to improve for Thomas, the one he loves the most. He knows that Thomas needs him, and the only way to get Thomas to listen is to get some help. Whose that help you might ask? Patton. Janus wants to be more helpful, but he doesnt know how. He’s envious of Patton’s ability to be accepted so easily, so he goes to him for advice (“I've come to you cause I need guidance to be true, And I just don't know where I can begin”). Janus wants to be redeemed in Thomas’ eyes, he wan’ts to escape the criminal appearance he’s been doomed to (“And I need to be redeemed, To the one I've sinned against”). He HATES some of the things he does to Thomas and some of the things he makes him think, but he doesn’t want to be forgiven, he believes that he deserves to be punished, but he still wants to get better for Thomas. He just doesn’t know how to do that (“Oh help me, but don't tell me to deny it, I've got to cleanse myself Of all these lies til I'm good enough for him”). Also, Janus sees Patton in a very very high place. He goes as far in this song to liken him to an angel while comparing himself, again, to the devil (“So what would an angel say, The devil wants to know”).

17) Change: The song is about, you guessed it, change! This to me is a continuation of the last song. Janus finally feels like things are changing in his favor (likely after the most recent episode). He was beginning to feel like there was no point in caring or trying, but now that he’s begining to see the light, he’s grown a bit hopeful (“Lately I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care, Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn?” “Trying to find the power in me to be faithful” “Change is a powerful thing, I feel it coming in me”). With Patton’s help and acceptance, Janus is begining to feel worthy of Thomas again and begining to see the he has a voice (“Maybe by the time this song is done I’ll be able to be honest, capable, Of holding you in my arms without letting you fall when I don't feel beautiful Or stable”).

18) Devil in the Details: Janus worries again about his ability to help Thomas. He doesn’t believe that he can tell the difference between good and bad and he looks to Patton for that differentiation (“There was love I meant, there were accidents, So tell me which is which. 'Cause I just can't work it out” “I have, no way, of knowing,…”). There’s also an odd underlying message about doing something that he doesn’t want to do, but continues to do despite this and I’m not quite sure what that could be referring to (“And I know the cost, and I want to stop. But I can't do it, I just can't do it.”). It could simply be referring to him lying or deceiving others, but that seems too simple. I wish I had a better answer.

19) Come Little Children: ALSO MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE PLAYLIST! This is really big guys. This song practically confirms the fact that Janus was in charge of taking in and hiding the dark sides from Thomas (“Come little children, I'll take thee away Into a land of enchantment”). The song literally uses the phrase “My garden of shadows”, a clear metaphor for the hidden parts of Thomas’ mind where Janus keeps the dark sides. But it gets better... Janus pities these poor sides. He hates the way that society has forced them away from the light and into the shadows (“Follow sweet children, I'll show thee the way Through all the pain And the sorrows”). Not only does Janus feel bad for these sides and longs to protect them from the cruelness of the real world, but he LOVES them. He values every aspect of them and thinks they are beautiful and perfect. He cannot fathom why society wouldn’t also love see them this way and it frustrates him to hide such amazing traits from the world (“Weep not poor children For life is this way, Murdering beauty and passions”). Despite this sadness and dissapointment, Janus does his job and keeps the dark sides hidden away, knowing that society would never accept them for what they are (“Hush now dear children, It must be this way”).

20) Into the Unknown (no not the Frozen song): This song is VERY IMPORTANT. I have seen so many misinterpretations of this song, and granted mine could also be wrong, but please hear me out. This song comes right after the last song for a reason. The sides that Janus had once hidden away are now being shown to Thomas. He is literally going into the unknown (“Led through the mist, By the milk-light of moon, All that was lost, is revealed.” “Somewhere lost in the clouded annals of history, Lies a place that few have seen. A mysterious place, called The Unknown. Where long-forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood.”) Thomas is figuratively traveling through the wood by learning more about himself and traveling deeper into Janus’ previously mentioned Garden of Shadows. The song ends, beautifully framing Janus’ love for the sides he’s raised and hidden away, calling them “ The loveliest lies of all”....

(Ahhh! I’m sorry that was so long guys 😅 Thank you if you read the whole thing or evern part! I’d like to hear your opinions, so let me know 💛💛💛)

[pettyprocrastination]

Do you have any headcanons for the first time sitches, Max, and Val go out together -K

HELLO BABES

The first time stitches goes out with Maxwell is on accident, he stumbled upon her and Cujo at a park while he leaves his office to clear his head and ends up spending the day with you and the “mutt”. 

The first time Stitches and Valerie go out together is because val dragged her lingerie shopping because “I need something to wear under my dress at the gala.” and you end up being thrown lacy one pieces and downright obscene outfits that she “just has to see you in.”

But the first time they actually go out together is on accident! They're taking Alistair out for a “family day” (something they don’t often do) and they happen to see stitches there as well!

Mostly because their soon is v soft spoken and withdrawn, but slowly begins to open up with stitches and talk about the things he enjoys, not the things he has to do like school and summer lessons and cello (he thinks it’s just too big for his tiny body!)

One of the things he likes? Fish. Kid fucking loves fish. Will rattle off in your ear about fish until he dies PLEASE ask him about fish. 

So at some point after they stop by and check on her progress (which they really just do because they all enjoy her presence but theyll never admit it.) She tugs val and max to the side and mentions it. 

“You know, you should take the kid out sometime. As a family.” She offers. “The aquarium is a great place for it, I think he’d really like it.”

Maxwell’s face scrunches up at the mention of the aquarium, fish and poor people all packed in one building together? No thank you. 

But before he can even say anything she’s already cut him off. “I’m not trying to be a backseat driver or anything but-” she smiles, a touch shy and reminiscent. Something they aren’t used to seeing from the snarky seamstress. “My pops would always take me, it was one of my favorite places to go. Still is really, but little stuff like that means the world to kids.” 

Valerie ignores the way her heart cinches up at the way she shows such care for their son. 

“It’s just a suggestion.”

So that Saturday, Maxwell Lord has taken the day off of work and is crinkling his nose at the smell of the public aquarium while his son stares at the tanks in awe. 

“It smells like fish.” He grumbles under his breathe, his wife rolled her eyes at his astute observation. 

“It’s an aquarium maxwell, there’s nothing here but fish.” Her eyes widen at a pair of teenagers sucking face in front of the lionfish. “Well, fish and apparently horny children.”

“Why did I let you convince me to do this?” Maxwell has already stolen a glance at his watch. “I could be-”

“Dad look!”

Maxwell’s head whipped up, heart guarded by gold practically melting at the sight of his son watching the sea turtles with glee. “That one is waving at me!”

His wife smiled, intertwining her fingers with his as she began to walk towards Alastair. “That’s why.”

Alastair spent the day zipping from exhibit to exhibit, rattling off facts about each fish that made the actual employees surprised. Maxwell loved seeing such passion in his son, so he did his best to reciprocate. 

The issues was he knew fuck all about fishes. 

“That’s a manta ray!” His soon looked up at the glass dividing them, watching the creatures glide through the water as if they were flying. “Their wingspan can reach more than twenty feet.”

“Hm yes.” Maxwell looked at them with a contemplative nod before speaking. “Very wide indeed, and....flappy.”

His wife coughed into her hand to hide her laughter. 

The Lords felt ready to pass out into the plastic and hardly comfortable chairs in the food court when their son saw a sign in front of the darkened doorway of a room that seemed enveloped in a purple light. 

They read the wording and felt the aches in their feet as they knew they wouldn’t get a break anytime soon. 

“JELLYFISH!”

As tired as they both felt, the parents couldn’t be happier. Valerie’s feet were pinched by her heels with each step and Maxwell was no doubt sweating in his suit but to see their son giggling and running with excitement, finally being a child, was worth every ache and pain they endured. 

The room had no overhead lights, most of, if not all of the lighting came from the jellyfish themselves or their tanks. Some were deep purples as the slowly moved through the water, growing big then small in little thrusts the pushed them along. Others were electric blues and shaped like tiny mushrooms gently drifting around the tank. Some were big, with appendages like shreds as the slowly moved without motive, with couldn’t help but unsettle Maxwell as he stared at them. 

It was oddly captivating. 

“You’re a good man maxwell.” Valerie spoke to him as they both stared at the jellyfish. She gave his hand a comforting squeeze. He wasn’t sure when exactly, but along the past few months he’d begun to see her in a different light. He didn’t feel a twinge of annoyance at her prescience anymore, but instead he felt it when she wasn’t there, off-kilter and incomplete like a piece of him was missing. Fucking his secretaries now made him feel sick to his stomach and he had stopped doing so last week. She wasn’t a burden weighing him down, she was now his anchor. 

He hadn’t told her of these feelings yet. Or his feelings for you. 

Maxwell looked over at his son, staring in a trance at the jellyfish with a smile. “I’ve never seen him so happy before.”

She knew what he meant to say. 

“I know Max.”

His wife’s blue eyes caught a glint against the tank and turned, on the other side of the room a chain rested against a woman’s chest as she watching a tank of jellyfish with a calming smile. The blue light dances across her face and curls, making her look nearly ethereal in the slightly crowded room. 

She turned and walked over, tugging Maxwell along with her until she was right behind you. Stitches eyes widened when she saw their reflecting against the tank glass before it melted into a cool smile. “Fancy seeing you two here.”

“Three actually.” Maxwell corrected. “I believe it’s you I have to thank for my aching feet while chasing around a fish-happy eight year old.”

She snorted, the imagine of him tired and achy in his three piece suits was just too good to give up. “If you want me to say I’m sorry you’re looking in the wrong place.”

He sighed, letting his hands fall to his hips as he arched his back with a loud pop! “Actually-” He furrowed his brows and took a deep breathe. “I’m here to thank you.”

“Thank me?” Stitches took a step back in surprise and he groaned. 

“Don’t make a big deal out of this.”

“Oh no, too late.” she set your hands on your hips, eyes shut as she basked in the information. “Say it again, I need to remember this moment.”

He looked over to his wife, who raised her hands in defense. “You’re the one who took her advice.”

Maxwell pointed an accusatory finger between the two women. “You know, I really hate that you two are best friends now. You know that?”

His wife simply blew him a kiss in response. 

“Alastair is overjoyed, he has been all day.” Out of the corner of her eye Stitches sees the boy in question turn to face the three of you with a gasp. 

“I have you to thank for that.” Was all his father could get out before she felt a tiny body ram into her side. 

“Stitches!”

Stitches smiled and crouched down, ruffling his hair. “What’s up little man?”

She were special to their son, special to them all. They weren’t sure how to tell her or if they ever would, but now they would settle for sitting in the cramped food court with their seamstress, eating greasy food their son begged for while he told her about the length of whale sharks. 

[fingertattoosremade-blog]

it’s been a while since i got this tattoo but i realized i never posted anything about it here. i got it as a reminder to myself that i am worthy, i am valuable, and that i deserve to love and be loved after i was abused by my ex boyfriend for almost the entirety of our three and a half year long relationship. trigger warning for self harm and abuse, physical and psychological.

around 4 years ago, while i was still in high school, i began a relationship with one of the worst people i’ve ever met. we were together for 3 and a half years, and there were red flags from the very beginning. the lying, the anger, the lack of guilt or remorse for anything he did... there were signs and i wanted to believe i was misreading them, and that he was a good person, but the fact is, he wasn’t. he was really bad for me, and he treated me badly. i endured years of screaming and abuse and let him convince me that everything he ever did to me was my fault, and that it wouldn’t be happening if i was more accepting of his flaws, of his inability to be faithful, if i was prettier, if i could just learn to be okay with the constant lying and cheating, he wouldn’t have to treat me the way that he did. for a long time i was isolated from the people i loved and i wasn’t okay. i cried a lot. i hurt myself. i let him hurt me and i took it without argument after i let him break me. i apologized to him for not being good enough and for a while i really believed that it was all because of me. but then suddenly, just as quickly as he had appeared in my life, he was gone. and it was hard for all of two days until i realized how much had been lifted from my shoulders. i stopped crying, stopped tearing myself apart over what i looked like, and i started reaching out to the people around me who opened their arms without hesitation.

dandelions are resilient. they’re hard to keep down. theyll grow through the cracks in concrete and they’ll survive poison. dandelions are living things just like any other flower despite everyone deciding that they’re weeds. there’s beauty in them continuing to persevere despite the attempts made to kill them. there’s beauty in people surviving as well.

we go through a lot in our lives. good or bad, we have our experiences. i never want anyone to have to go through the pain that i did, but it taught me a lesson. it taught me to know my worth and to stand up for myself. it taught me that other people don’t define me and that chaos doesn’t have to be my life. it taught me that he was a very deeply flawed individual that words cannot describe and that i’m better off without him. it taught me that other people can love me better. that there are better things for me. i’ve grown as a person since separating myself from him. most importantly, i’ve learned that everybody can grow through what they’ve gone through and that there’s hope beyond the horizon.

thank you @little-tunny / @g-e-gogarty for designing this tattoo for me. you’ve had a hand in changing my life and inspiring my confidence.

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Shameful

Pairing: Bakugou x Koge (OC)

Koge’s Tag

Rating: Teen, for cursing and suggestive conversation

Word Count: 4,309

Me 3:09 PM: Hey love, I just got off the train. I’ll be there in a couple of minutes, okay?

Cutesuki 3:11 PM: ok. just show the guard at the door your id, theyll let you in.

Me 3:11 PM: What, they don’t know who I am by now? （＾ｖ＾）

Cutesuki 3:12 PM: utsuro theyre just following my rules. you could be a shapeshifter coming to try and kill me.

Me 3:12 PM: Ooh, true. (¬‿¬) But what if I have a fake ID, too?

Cutesuki 3:14 PM: they can tell. ill order you an access badge.

Me 3:15 PM: So I can come whenever I want?! (⊙ᗜ⊙)

Cutesuki 3:15 PM: not if you act like that you cant.

Me 3:16 PM: Oh, sorry. I’ll be stoic. (・∀・) And mean. All your employees will hate me.

Cutesuki 3:16 PM: probably

Me 3:17 PM: Uh, I was joking! (ｰ ｰ;)

Cutesuki 3:17 PM: lol

Koge gave a small roll of her eyes, placing her phone back into her jacket pocket. The chill of the mid winter air fogged her breath, making her feel like she was walking through clouds. Why the weather decided to get so awful on her day off was beyond her, but she hated it. Not only was it her day off, she also had special plans that involved a lot of walking. The act of walking isn’t want got to her, but the fact that it was so cold her nose felt like it was frozen solid did. Even though she was wrapped head to toe in warm clothing, the petite woman felt like an icicle, and the thought of stopping at an approaching coffee shop peaked her interest.

Hm, coffee sounds good, she thought to herself. I wonder if Katsuki would want something. It’s a bit late in the afternoon, but he’s probably worn out. I’ll get him one.

Ducking into the shop, Koge got herself a nice hot cup of straight black coffee and Bakugou his odd mixture of what he always preferred. The man liked spicy coffee, which really wasn’t all that much of a surprise to her, though she couldn’t help but pick on him for his enjoyment of it. There was always the retaliation that she was a freak for liking straight black coffee, which was just as bitter as her personality.

‘That’s okay,’ Koge would always tell him, sly grin on her face. ‘You’re married to me, so you must like my bitter personality.’

Sipping on the hot bitterness from her cup, Koge continued down the sidewalk after her purchase, her body warmed by the drink. She wasn’t the only one to relish in the joy, however, as there was a series of movements from her swollen abdomen. “Oof, chill out there, girl.” Koge whispered quietly to the frozen air. “You always get way too excited when I drink coffee.” Rounding a corner, Koge’s gaze was pulled towards the large building across the street at the end of the block.

Damn, it was ugly. A huge, industrial style with very few windows, and it almost made Koge think that it had popped right out of a post-apocalyptic movie. The thing looked like it could withstand a bomb, with thick dark grey concrete, pipes and steel decorating the exterior. Yes, it was architecturally brilliant, but that didn’t make Koge thing it was any less ugly. Still, it was noticeable, recognizable and marketed perfectly for who worked inside. This had been the first time she had seen this new building, as her lover had just finished construction of this new firm headquarters and moved his entire team just a week ago.

After carefully crossing the street, Koge made her way to what she assumed was the entrance, noticing the two guards standing outside chatting. They seemed quite lax, something that Koge knew Bakugou might snap at them about, but she decided to keep it to herself. Conversation coming to a halt as she approached, one guard whom she was familiar with gave her a welcoming smile. Although this middle aged man had a kind face, Koge had seen him take down people with no mercy or hesitation. She liked him enough, and if Bakugou trusted him, then she could as well.

“Hello, Koge! Come to see the new building, eh?” He held out his hand, not in a way to shake hands, but was silently asking for her ID. Koge nodded, handing both of the coffee cups out towards the other guard, who took them from her. “Hold those, please? And yeah, it’s finally my day off so I can come see it.” After digging through her pocket, she removed her wallet and fished out her ID, giving it to the waiting man before her. He took it, turning on a small flashlight and shining it on the plastic.

“How’s the kiddo?”

“Ah, he’s with his grandparents today. The other is still latched to me.” Koge patted her swollen belly gently, waiting patiently for the return of her ID. With a small chuckle, the guard handed it back to her, turning off his flashlight and placing it back into his pocket. “Not for too much longer. Head on in, I think he’s in his office on the top floor. If not his secretary will tell you.” While Koge put her ID away, he flashed a badge to a sensor on the wall, the large glass doors sliding open with a beep. Koge took her coffee back, heading inside after thanking the two men.

Ooh, secretary. How spoiled. But, he deserves it. He’s worked so hard to get to this point, and so quickly, too. He’s only twenty-seven and his hero firm has grown this huge! I’m so proud of him.

Much to her surprise, the inside of the building was a much more modern industrial style than the outside, with polished concrete and stylish brick walls. The furniture in the lobby matched the style, with red, orange and army green accents. How cute, he sure did decide to keep to his brand. I love it.

After a quick trip up the elevator, Koge followed the signs to Bakugou’s office. Before she could get in, she found she had to stop at a large desk, with three women sitting behind it, all doing computer work. Only gaining the attention of one of them when she approached the desk, she had to stand up on her toes to see the woman better. “Hi, I’m here to see Katsuki?”

The woman had visible surprise on her face at the use of Bakugou’s first name, cocking her head to the side a bit. “I’m sorry, but he’s in a meeting at this time with his Public Relations Manager. Were you… Did you have a meeting with him as well?”

Koge felt a twinge of annoyance at the mention of the PR person, giving a small cough to clear her throat. “I’m his wife. He’s expecting me.”

“I’m sorry, Ma’am, but--”

“Yeah, no buts. Buzz me in, please.” Koge started towards the large doors that she assumed were the entrance, stopping at them when they still did not open. She glared over her shoulder at the women, who were glancing between themselves in confusion. “Buzz me in. Believe me, he likes me a lot more than caring about the slight inconvenience it would take to replace you.”

The woman that had spoken to her first gave a small cough to clear her throat, trying to stay firm. “I’m sorry, Ma’am, but his Public Relations Manager stated that they should not be disturbed.”

Koge gave an annoyed click of her tongue. “I’m sure she did. You’re really going to fight with me on this one, huh?” Placing both cups of coffee down on a small decorative table that rested at the edge of the doors, she pulled out her phone.

Me 3:32 PM: Your little brats out here won’t let me in. They say your PR lady told them to not let anyone in.

Within the minute, the doors opened, an obviously annoyed Bakugou standing in the doorway. His glare was immediately locked on the women at the desk, who shifted about nervously in their chairs. The main one spoke up, quickly standing to show him respect. “I-I’m sorry, sir, it’s just that Ms. Ito--”

“I don’t care what she said. I gave you permission to let this woman in, did I not?” Bakugou approached Koge, noticing the coffee and picking it up for her. “Yours?” He addressed her directly, his expression softening. Koge smiled, giving a small nod. “And yours.”

The woman at the desk he had addressed gave a low bow. “I’m sorry, Sir! It won’t happen again!” Bakugou started back through the large doors, Koge at his heels. “We’ll discuss it later.” Koge didn’t have time to see the reactions of the women as the doors snapped shut behind them, looking up at her lover curiously. “Are they new?”

Bakugou sighed, giving a nod as they made their way down a small hallway, which displayed his awards, trophies, paper certificates and permits. “Yes. Well, a few months at least. But they are scared of Ito. Everyone here thinks she’s vice president or some shit when she’s literally only the PR person. Irritates me.” In his frustration, he brought up one of the cups of coffee, taking a sip before Koge could tell him it was the wrong one. The cringe that crossed his features as he swallowed the bitter black water made her giggle, and he quickly handed the cup to her. “Ugh, fuck that shit is gross!”

Laughing, Koge took the cup, watching as he downed a large gulp of his coffee to rid himself of the taste. “Aw, it is not. Yours is the one that’s gross.” Bakugou shook his head, giving a satisfied hum. “No way, it’s good. Thanks.” He held the ID that hung around his neck up to a sensor, the door opening for them. Once open, Koge’s gaze immediately landed on the obviously flustered woman that stood beside a large dry erase board, impatiently tapping her foot.

Koge couldn’t believe how much she wanted to kick this womans ass, just from looking at her. Sure, she knew that anyone who worked so directly with Bakugou needed to be strong willed and stubborn, but this woman wasn’t just that. She truly was the definition of a bitch.

“Sir, please, this really can’t wait.” Ito addressed Bakugou the instant he returned, pointing a marker to the board to bring attention to her writing. “I need you to approve these appointments so that I can get them paid for and scheduled.” Bakugou sighed, placing his coffee down on his desk before glaring at the annoying white board that he hated. “Why do you have to bring that stupid board in here? I hate looking at things on it, why can’t you just give it to me digitally.”

“This is the best way for me to explain myself to you, and I can easily put posters or flyers on the back side for you to see. It’s not the same when looking at them digitally.” The woman adjusted her glasses, tapping the board with her marker. “Just come read these ideas and let me know what you think.”

Koge read the information on the board as she removed her outer layers of clothing, setting them down on a couch against the wall. “He said that he would prefer the information digitally. Don’t you think you should listen to your boss?” Ito shot a sharp glare at her, tapping her nails against the plastic of the marker in her hand. “I know what works best for him, I’ve been doing this job for ten years, three of them being for this firm. I’d appreciate you keeping your comments to yourself.”

Bakugou shared a glance with Koge that told her to keep it down, to which she begrudgingly agreed with a huff. Arms crossing over her chest, she let them rest on her swollen belly, making her way closer to Bakugou’s desk as he read aloud what was on the board.

“Poster series… Blankets and shit…. More magazine stuff? No--” Bakugou shook his head, moving around the desk to his chair. “After the last magazine shoot, I don’t want to do that shit again.” He pulled the chair out from under the desk, motioning for Koge to sit. She did so happily, leaning back in the plush leather that comfortably supported her aching back. “Oh god, that last magazine thing was terrible! When they were done it didn’t even look like him.” Koge reached up to take his hand gently, which he allowed. “He looked better in the one before that, but… It was so saucy we couldn’t even show our son, who has been excited that his dad is in magazines since he knew what they were.”

Ito cleared her throat, removing Koge’s chance to speak again. “The last magazine was a huge hit. Another series is in serious demand, the public want more of that content.” Koge narrowed her eyes, a bit suspicious of this. “The public… or women? You do realize that Katsuki’s main demographic is teenage and young adult males, right?”

“The men go for the interviews and the women go for the pictures. If it makes money and doesn’t ruin his image, than it works.” Ito grabbed the top of the whiteboard, pulling it down so that the other side was visible. Koge let out a sharp laugh, annoyed and amused at the mock posters and photographs taped to the board. “Doesn’t ruin his image? Do you even realize how those types of things make him look?” With quite a bit of effort, she stood, waddling her way towards the board to see the images better.

Bakugou took her place in the chair, rubbing his temple. “Koge, it’s alright, it does work.” With a shake of her head, his lover pointed to one of the posters that had him displayed in a provocative pose, with just his mask on as the image stopped right at his hips. “No. This doesn’t even look like you at all. Look how skinny! You’re not thin like that.”

“What? I’m not fat—“

“That’s not what I’m saying! You’re… you’re buff Katsuki, you’re not a rail like this. I’m not saying you’re fat. But you’re body doesn’t look like this.” Koge looked up at Ito, the woman towering over her. “Why do you let them photoshop him so much?”

Ito gave a small huff, looking away from Koge, as if she were an eyesore. “I have no control over what the magazine company wants to do.”

“Not true, you have to approve it, like you are now. Katsuki, you haven’t noticed that?” Koge looked over towards her husband, who looked like he was about to throw them both out. “I don’t usually give a shit. I don’t notice how much they change me, if they do.”

“They do. I don’t know why they would. This is so much better.” Koge moved her finger to another poster, of Bakugou in mid battle. “This is how he should look. All scuffed up, angry and strong. He’s not a little sissy boy.”

Ito shook her head, pointing to a number above the sexier poster. “Look at this number, it’s higher than the one for that poster. That means that this style is more sought after—“

“By that demographic. By young adult women and teenage girls.” Koge made her way back over to Bakugous desk, opening a marketing binder that rested there. “You have numbers in here I’m sure and percentages based on different groups of people…” Bakugou watched her, but didn’t intervene. “Hm, you’re right, Koge. I’m pretty sure that eighty seven percent of my fan base isn’t into that shit.”

“They’re not! They can’t be—“ Koge was cut off by Ito snatching the binder back, holding it to her chest. “That’s company data! You can’t look at this.”

“I’ll have you know she can.” Bakugou snapped back. “Who do you think helps me with numbers and making decisions? I trust her more than a room of CEO air heads any day. Show her your numbers, I’m interested in what she’s talking about.”

“But Sir—“

“Fine, then let me see them.” He held his hand out towards her, to which Ito reluctantly handed the binder over. Bakugou flipped though it for a minute as Koge came around the desk to join him, putting an arm around his shoulders. “I’m pretty positive that data is being pulled from demographic percentages depending on age, gender and location. Here, see.” Koge put an accusing finger on a chart. “Eighty seven percent of women from age sixteen to twenty three want more of that photoshop nonsense. But that age group is only thirty something percent of your fan base.”

Koge gave Ito a glance, noticing that she wasn’t going to give in to this. “I think you’re trying to cater to a group of people that doesn’t really matter all that much. Or maybe…” She placed her hand on the top of Bakugou’s head, ruffling his hair gently. “Maybe to things that you want to see, huh?” Ito’s face instantly flushed red. “What?! Who do you think you are, to say something like that to me! That is absolutely ridiculous!”

“I don’t think it is. I think you’re taking advantage of his ignorance when it comes to the marketing side of his brand. That’s why he hired you, because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He may be smart, but he has no time to deal with that type of nonsense.” Koge moved her hand down to Bakugou’s back, a bit surprised that he was so quiet about all of this. “You say you know what’s best for him? You aren’t even listening to what he wants, what he likes, or even what the majority of his demographic wants.”

Heading back to the board, Koge pointed at the image of him in battle. “Look at this. Look at how both sexy and strong he looks. His body is completely unedited, his costume is a bit ripped in places. He’s sweaty and grungy and that glare is enough to make the ladies need to change their underwear. But that is a woman looking at it. A man, or a young boy aspiring to be a hero, would look at this and think, he looks so cool. So badass. So strong. Okay sure, some men might fight him sexy and a lot of women will find him powerful.” She shared an amused glance with her lover, who only glared at her with his ears red in embarrassment.

“You release that?” She gestured to the more sexual image, disgust crossing her features. “You’re only going to hit a small percentage of his fan base. But this?” Again, she slapped her entire palm over the more powerful poster. “You release this and you will hit everyone. Because this is sexy and powerful. If you respected him and his image, you wouldn’t be making him do the sex appeal thing.” Koge let out a long breath, feeling a bit winded from her ranting. “He might be attractive, but not in that type of way. That’s more of a pretty-boy type of thing.”

Ito shook her head, hands firmly on her hips. “I don’t agree. I think you just don’t want your husband half naked out for the world to see.” Koge sputtered an amused laugh, both hands on her stomach as the child inside wiggled about. “Listen lady, I could care less what other women see of him. Because only I get the full show. Get it? That man on the poster isn’t even my Katsuki. It’s a fake. Where are his scars? They even smoothed out some of the muscle lines to make him look less muscular!” Koge glared up at the taller women, who finally seemed on the edge of breaking.

“You have no right to come in here and criticize me for doing my job.”

“But you’re not doing your job. You know, I don’t like you.” Koge made her way back over to Bakugou, who stood and once again gave her his chair to sit, which she accepted gladly. “Ever since Katsuki hired you. For petty things at first, like at one point I was really upset that you and him were constantly going on trips. I was jealous that you got to see him all the time when I didn’t. But now, I just realize that you’re awful.” She took a sip of her coffee, glad to see that it was still warm. “It’s so obvious that you’re taking advantage of his ignorance of what needs to be done for his image. I’m not going to let you do that to him.”

Ito was red faced now, completely flustered and embarrassed at being called out. Koge didn’t care. But, she also didn’t want to cause discourse in Bakugous firm.

“But… I will admit that on the things that don’t involve him with his tits out, you do very well. The meet ‘n greets, the autographs, his book, his interviews, they’re all fantastic. So you do know how to do your job. I truly think that this is just a hiccup driven by personal desire.” Koge closed the binder in front of her, pushing it back over towards Ito, who was staring at Koge in surprise.

“You can have a crush on my husband all you want.” Koge spoke quite curt, planning on getting her point across the first time. “But you won’t have him. So if that was your goal, this little sexy series? I truly hope it stops here. Every once in a while, sure, let him model underwear for an ad because he’s got a nice butt. I won’t be quiet the next time I see him being degraded like that.” She looked up at Bakugou, who was staring down at her with intense focus. She gave him a small smile, effectively breaking him out of his daze. “Do you agree with me, Katsuki?”

Bakugou turned his crimson glare to Ito, who was standing there red faced and leaking guilt. “This is something I just didn’t even notice… I just thought it was all normal, I hear about that half and half bastard doing this shit, and even Deku.” Koge nodded, opening one of his drawers to peek into it curiously. “Mhmm, but that’s a part of their look. Of their brand. They’re pretty boys. You are raw power, Katsuki. Believe me, women find that just as attractive as your fake photoshopped abs.” She pulled out a stress ball that resembled his gauntlets, beginning to squeeze it and pass it between both hands. “I love these. Another good decision you helped make, Ito.”

Ito only gave a small nod. “I won’t let it happen again. But… these are already almost finished contracts. We can’t back out of them, now, these companies will never work with us again.” Bakugou sighed, moving to stroke Koge’s hair gently as he thought. Then, as she looked up at him, an idea crossed his mind.

“Koge. We’ve never done anything, have we?”

“Eh?” Koge felt a bit of heat rush to her cheeks, giving a small shake of her head. “N-no…” Bakugou looked back over towards Ito, nodding to motion her to come over. “Change the contacts, to do do a family shoot and interviews.” Koge took his hand, a bit of worry creasing her brow. “Are you sure? Is that safe?”

“No one knows where we live, not even the people that work here. I want to do it, with you and Matsu.” He held her hand tightly, the excited interest on his face filling Koge’s stomach with butterflies. Smiling she kissed the back of his hand. “Okay. Let’s do it, then.”

As Ito came up to take her binder, Bakugou put his hand on it, stopping her. “Make it happen, Ito. Though, we will have to discuss your behavior further. I can’t just let it go.” Ito nodded, taking her binder when Bakugou released it. “Yes, sir. I’ll have the contact sent to you digitally for review. Thank you for… not firing me right off the bat.”

“I wouldn’t want him to fire you.” Koge spoke up, catching the womans attention. “Like I said, you do your job well. All of this that he has is with your help. But you gotta stop the thirst.”

“Y-yes, Ma’am. I don’t want to be rude, but… for someone so small, you’re kind of scary.”

“I’m married to Katsuki. I have to be a little scary, right?”

“I suppose…” With another bow, the woman left with her dry erase board in tow, the wheels making an annoying squeak as they rolled. When she was finally gone, Koge sighed, turning the chair to face Bakugou. “Holy shit, Katsuki, what was that creature.”

Bakugou scoffed, leaning over the chair a bit, gripping the arm rests for support. “Utsuro, that is what is known as a woman with a huge crush on the big boss who’s married and is still trying to get into his pants.”

“She’s icky. I’m sorry, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.”

“You were right, though. Thanks.” He placed a kiss on the top of her head, moving his hands to caress her belly. “How’s she?” Koge placed her hands over his, smile crossing her lips. “She’s great, Katsuki. She’s been a little wiggly thing all day, though.” Bakugou nodded, able to feel the child against his palms. “It’s because you’re all worked up. How about a tour?”

“I’d like that, Katsuki. After a kiss. Or two.”

“Or ten.”

“You know me too well.”

[woildismyerster]

hiya! love your writing, but i need more marwan fics!! would you be able to write a oneshot where y/n is friends with the mathletes but marwan is like awkward and blunt around her and she thinks it’s cause he hates her but it’s actually that opposite?? thanks hon!! xo

“That’s not right,” you said, glancing up from your phone.  “The third problem, I mean.”

At the front of the room, Marwan paused.  He looked back at you, then at the series of math problems he was solving on the board, and scowled.  “No, it isn’t.”

“It is,” you insisted, and the other Mathletes scanned the problem too.

After a second, Tyler made a sound of realization.  “She’s right, dude.  You got the math right, but didn’t add ‘c.’”

Marwan scowled, but corrected the mistake.  “Why is she even here?  This is a Mathletes practice.”

“Because I wanted to hang out with my boys,” you said, eyes on your phone again.  “If they’re in Mathletes practice, I’m in Mathletes practice.”

“If you joined the team, it would make more sense,” he griped.

Kevin slung an arm around your shoulders.  “You don’t need to join to hang,” he promised.  “You’re the mascot.  And what a mascot you are, babe.”

You laughed.  “Besides, I’m here for you guys.  Not for the math.”

“Then don’t correct my work.”

“Then don’t mess up your work,” you snapped back.  “But if you really want to get problems wrong, be my guest.”

The room fell silent, aside from the squeak of the whiteboard marker.  After a pause, without turning around, Marwan broke the tension.  “Do the rest of them look right?”

The three of you okayed the problem set.  Marwan only thanked the boys directly, but he shot a quick, curt nod your way.  You had to fight back a scowl, but it was victory enough.

“Kev?”

“Yeah?”

You bit your lip, hating that you were about to ask, but feeling like you ought to.  “Should I stop crashing at your practices?  Like, is that inappropriate?”

“No, why?”  Kevin had been brainstorming a rap for the creative aspect of some presentation, but he dropped the notebook to pay better attention to you.

“Marwan -”

“Oh,” Kevin said knowingly.  “Is my boy giving you grief?”

You snorted.  “No - well, yes, but I hardly care.”

“Then why are you asking?”

“Because if it’s an actual problem, I don’t want it to become a big thing.”  There was always something with Marwan, at least when you were around.  You weren’t a member of the Mathletes, so you shouldn’t be at practices.  Of course you liked that book/movie/song; everybody did - how predictable.

“Marwan likes you,” Kevin assured you.

“He doesn’t act like it.”

“He’s got the social skills of those aliens in Galaxy Quest.  He also has the loyalty of them.”

You gave a half smile at that.  “If only he had the charm.”

Kevin laughed.  “He does when you aren’t there.  He just doesn’t know what to do with you.”

You didn’t really believe Kevin about Marwan liking you, but you decided to keep going to Mathletes practice.  That was his problem - you wouldn’t stop hanging out with people who did enjoy your company because of one person who didn’t.

Y/N:  pro-tip:  making a sign that says “I’ll take you to your limit if you show me your end behavior” does not go over well with parents at your competitions

Marwan:  you didnt

Y/N:  look over here

Kevin:  turn around and show my parents.  theyll love it

Marwan:  jesus christ Y/N.  we cant take you anywhere

Y/N:  

You weren’t that picky about homeroom t-shirts - you would hardly wear it, and it wasn’t like you felt all that attached to yours - but you would die before letting the winning design have SWAG written on the back.

Yours would have to be better.

Everybody in the class had been given a paper with the outline of a shirt on it, and all of you were supposed to spend homeroom brainstorming class shirts.  It was stupid, it was a waste of time, and you threw yourself into in wholeheartedly.  

“I heard that Cunningham’s class is putting his face on their shirts, Andy Warhol style,” you commented to nobody in particular.

It seemed, of course, that Marwan was the only person to have heard.  “Probably because the girls all have crushes on him.”

“Maybe,” you admitted.  “I would wear a shirt with his face on it.”

Marwan rolled his eyes, writing your graduation year on his shirt design.  “Of course you would.”

“He’s funny, and he’s smart.  That’s the best combination.”

“Not because he’s attractive?”

You shrugged.  “It doesn’t hurt.”

A girl near you agreed, and you shot a triumphant look at Marwan.

“There are plenty of smart, funny guys that don’t get put on shirts,” he countered.  “You can’t blame me for thinking that was the entire point.”

“And you can’t assume that I’ll have the exact same thought process as every other person!”  You grabbed a colored pencil and started coloring, perhaps more violently than necessary.  “You and I hang out all the time, and regardless of what you think of me, you should know that I’m a little less shallow than that.”

“Sorry,” he said softly.

The rest of the period passed with neither of you talking, but it only made you angrier.  There was nothing wrong with thinking someone was attractive enough to be on a shirt.  You felt no shame about that.  That being said, you wouldn’t wear a shirt if you didn’t like the person on it.  How low was his opinion of you?

“Y/N, your shirt -”

“What?”  You snarled the word, and there was a second of intense satisfaction when his eyes widened.

“I just - I wanted to tell you that it was a nice design.  I’d vote for it.”

“Oh.”  You grimaced, more at yourself than at him.  “I - thanks.”

“Marwan, I need immediate help, and you are the only person who I can ask,” you said seriously.

Startled, he pocketed his phone.  “What is it?”

“Should I wear my reindeer pajamas for Pajama Day, or the pumpkin ones?”

Marwan had looked ready to leap into action, which was commendable, but now his shoulders drooped and brow furrowed.  “I thought this was an emergency.”

You snorted.  “It is, dummy.  This is probably the most serious decision I’ll make in my entire life.”

“It’s November.  Neither one is in season,” he said.  

“Marwan, I swear to God, if I can’t count on you -”

“Pumpkins,” he decided.  “Pumpkins are better.”

You tapped your temple.  “A Halloween man.  I like it.”

He sighed, but it was half a laugh.  “I can’t believe I thought you had a serious need.”

“Don’t belittle what I see as serious,” you said.  “I helped you guys come up with rhymes for the talent show, and you only got to perform the first three seconds of the rap.  I spent hours on that.”

Marwan’s feet shuffled, and you knew that you had him.  “We don’t talk about that.”

“I do,” you said with a grin.  “And I always will.  You guys are losers.”

“Losers that you hang out with.”

“At least I have cool pajamas.”

That afternoon, you cautiously turned to Marwan to see if he wanted to be your partner on an assignment.  He met your eyes, and promptly turned around to partner with somebody else.

Kevin:  not gonna make it today, srry

Y/N:  illegal

Kevin:  my parents invited family friends over without telling me

Tyler:  you know they told you

Tyler:  you just didn’t listen

Marwan:  this myth has been busted

Kevin:  Tyler is one to talk

Kevin:  he was invited over

Y/N:  I L L E G A L

Y/N:  whats the point of seeing the movie if half the group cancelled?

Kevin:  seeing the movie, you psycho

You scowled at your phone.  You knew Kevin was right - if you cancelled now, even with a good reason, it would look like you just didn’t want to hang out alone with Marwan.  Sure, that was the truth, but Marwan was the douche canoe.  You didn’t need to stoop to his level.

You showed up at the theater to wait for him, half expecting him to be the one that doesn’t show up.

Maybe he was assuming the same thing, because he looked exhausted when he saw you standing by the entrance.  

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood: you could antagonize Marwan all evening, thereby rationalizing his obvious dread, or you could make this as easy on him as possible.

You took the one less travelled by, though you couldn’t be sure that it would make any difference.

You grinned at him, pushing off the wall to meet him halfway.  “Good thing we didn’t buy tickets online, huh?”

He blinked at you, and though he didn’t smile outright, the tired lines around his eyes receded some.  “Seriously.  I’m not surprised Kevin bailed last minute - he’s the worst, and we knew what we signed up for - but Tyler is usually better than that.”

“Pretend we did buy them online - who would you have wanted to give the extra two tickets to?”

“I don’t know,” he said.  He held the door open for you on the way in.  “I might have just tweeted that I had extras, and let people fight for them.”

“Right,” you snorted.

“What?”

“Do you really think that people would fight over tickets to see 2001: A Space Odyssey?”

“It’s a classic!”  He said the words as though they were sacred.

“That doesn’t make it good,” you argued.  

“It’s the greatest movie of all time!”

You raised your hands in surrender.  “I know it’s great - but since when have classics been good just because they’re classics?  I’ve watched plenty of things just to be able to say I’ve seen them.”

Too your surprise, Marwan gave a hesitant nod.  “Yeah, maybe.  This isn’t the type of movie Cady and Aaron would go to on date night.”

You looked around at the people walking in with you: nerds and old people wandered around the lobby, buying tickets and snacks.  “How romantic.”

Marwan gave a snort of laughter, and you counted it as a victory.

“Besides,” you continued.  “I’m not sure I’d want to play third wheel to them in a movie like this.  I don’t know if they make out in theaters, but I don’t want to see if they do.”

“You wouldn’t be a third wheel,” he said, taking two tickets from one of the workers.  “I’d be here.”

You looked at the tickets, surprised.  “I was going to pay for mine.”

Marwan froze, a deer in headlights.  “It’s no big deal.”

It was a big deal.  Friends don’t buy friends movie tickets without talking about it, not usually, and you and Marwan were hardly friends at all.  You were acquaintances.  Colleagues.

“I’m buying the snacks, then,” you declared.  Marwan smiled, and it seemed like he had won ground you hadn’t realized was up for grabs.

“I can’t believe you eat before the movie starts,” you hissed.

“I’m hungry,” he said, and punctuated the words by eating a handful of popcorn.

“It’s half gone!  I’m going to starve.”

He rolled his eyes, lips twitching into a smile.  “Fine - I’ll go get a refill.”

You settled back into your seat, sipping at your drink while you watched a pre-preview segment about building the sets for some action movie starring Tom Cruise.

“Hey.”

You glanced into the row behind you, and were confused when you didn’t recognize the person speaking.  “What?”

“Do you and your boyfriend always argue like that?  You’ve been fighting about whether water is wet or not for fifteen minutes.”

“It isn’t!  Liquids make things wet; they aren’t wet themsel - wait, he’s not my boyfriend.”  You frowned at the person.  

The unwelcome commenter smirked.  “Sure looks like he is.”

“I think I would know if I was on a date,” you countered.

“You’d think he would know if he wasn’t.”

When Marwan came back, you side-eyed him.  He brought back two popcorns, and when you raised an eyebrow at him, he shrugged.  “I ate most of the one, so I got you your own.  You don’t have to share it with me.”

You took it from him, stomach kicking.  He bought your ticket, and now he bought you snacks.  Marwan didn’t like you, and you thought that you knew that, but it was hard to hate him back when everything seemed skewed.

You should punch that person in the face.  There was nothing more confusing than people calling reality into question.

You had been planning to take the bus home, but Marwan insisted on driving you.

“You never know what kind of creeps are out at night,” he reminded you.

“Us, apparently.”

He was a cautious driver, and sometimes your hands itched to take the wheel.  “I’m getting you home safe,” he said through gritted teeth.  “If something bad happens, it’s my fault, and that’s not okay.”

“I won’t blame you,” you said, a little touched.  Then, when you decided that you were too touched, “I’ll be dead.”

“On second thought, you can take the bus.”

“On second thought, I’ll stay.  I’ll make you stew in your hatred all night long,” you shot back.

He glanced at you for a second before looking back at the road.  “I don’t hate you.  It’s, like, mild annoyance at best.”

You frowned.  “That sounds fake, but okay.”

“Wait - do you seriously think that I don’t like you?”

“I don’t think; I know you don’t like me,” you said.

Marwan gave a bewildered laugh, and you thought of what the person in the theater said.  “You haven’t been so wrong in your entire life.  Seriously, the opposite thing is true.”

“Opposite of hating me?”  You scoffed, putting on a high pitched croon.  “So you loooooooove me?”

He didn’t say anything.

“Marwan, that isn’t funny.  I already knew that you weren’t funny, but this -”

“I’m not joking,” he mumbled.  

You tried to swallow, but your throat wouldn’t work.  “Still not funny.”

“I just - I don’t know how to talk to you,” he said with a grimace.  “I mess it up every single time, and I know where I mess up, but I have no idea how I get there.”

“Usually by talking.  In general, really.”

“Y/N,” he said.  “I’m serious.  I really like you.  Like, everything about you, all the time.  Even the stupid things - I wouldn’t change any of them.  I’m not good at showing it, so I usually ignore you, but I do like you.”

“So act like it,” you said, and cringed.  “Sorry, that was mean.  But if you like me, and I think that you hate me, that’s probably a good reason to change what you’re doing.”

“What would you recommend?”

“Say, ‘hey, Y/N, when I act like a jerk, it’s because I want to hold your hand.  That, and I’m allergic to saying nice things.’”  You grinned at him when he looked at you again, but it was cautious.  These were unexplored waters, and the two of you had been bad enough at navigating the known territory.  “Say, ‘Y/N, I’m sorry that there was a misunderstanding.  Now that we’re on the same page, please help me figure out what to say if I’ve messed something up.’”

“Okay,” he said.  “Y/N, I like you a lot.  I want to hold your hand.  I want to go to movies with you, and I want to see you places without thinking I should leave before I start World War Three.”

“Okay,” you echoed.  “Marwan, I like you a little bit, sometimes.  You can’t hold my hand yet, we can go to movies, and you should talk to me when you see me.  If you can act like an actual friend, we’ll see about the holding hands.”

He smiled, and you wondered how you had ever thought he hated you at all.

You didn’t start liking Marwan immediately, just because he apparently liked you.  That would have been unrealistic after years of assuming that the two of you were probably in the middle of a nemesis origin story.  You were pleasantly surprised to find out that Marwan was on the same page.

He didn’t invite you to go stargazing, but he texted you to look outside when he knew Mars was going to be there.

He didn’t try to ask you out on study dates, but he partnered with you in class assignments and stayed after school to work on them.

He took things slow, and he slowly improved.

Marwan:  i cant believe youre crying during Wonder Woman

Y/N:  i cant believe youre on your phone during class

Marwan:  its homeroom

Y/N:  shes such a good person

Y/N:  and Steve Trevor deserved better

Marwan:  because he’s smart and funny?

Y/N:  bc hes super hot, actually

“You have glitter in your hair,” Marwan said during Mathletes practice.

“Yeah,” you said with a sheepish grin.  “It turns out that I’m ‘not responsible’ and ‘have trouble using materials the way they’re supposed to be used.’”

Kevin reached over and ruffled your hair, sending a shower of glitter onto the floor.  “I’m not cleaning that up,” he said.

“You’d better,” you warned.  “You did that.”

“Not my glitter, not my problem.”

You grimaced at your shoulders.  “I’m like a disco ball.  Anybody have a flashlight?”

Tyler laughed.  “How fast can you spin?”

“It’s all over your face,” Marwan said with a wry grin.  “You look like you went clubbing.”

“Ah, my cover is blown.”

He leaned in and frowned, trying to wipe it off your face with his fingers.  “Jesus.  This isn’t coming off.”

“This is my new look,” you said, ignoring the stares from Tyler and Kevin.  

“As good as it is, you should probably go shower.”

You shouldered your backpack, sighing.  “I know.  I just thought I’d hang out with my boys.  Later, losers.”

On your way out, you heard Kevin ask what all of that was about.

“I like her,” Marwan said, a smile in his voice.  “And I think she might like me, a little bit.”

You told Marwan that you wanted to take it slow, and you stood by that statement.  You hadn’t wanted to throw yourself in headfirst.  That being said, you also wanted to kiss him, so his willingness to be just friends was infuriating.

When he took you to see another movie, you wished he would offer to pay for your ticket.

You wished that he would eat too much popcorn, and that you could tease him about it.  

You wished that he would hold your hand during the movie.

After it ended, while he drove you home, you wished that he would have trouble watching the road because he wanted to watch you instead.

“Marwan?”

“Yeah?”  He checked his blind spot before changing lanes, jaw sticking out a little while he moved.

“I like you a lot.”

He grinned.  “I like you a lot, too.”

“I want you to hold my hand,” you said.

“Right now?  I’m trying to get you home safe, Y/N.  Like I said before - I won’t let anything happen to you -”

You leaned over and pressed a tentative kiss into his jaw.  It had still been jutting out, and the sharp angle of it softened in his surprise.

“Pull into a gas station or something,” you said.  “I want to hold your hand.”

There was nothing cautious about his haste to pull over, and there was nothing weary or nervous about the smile on his face when he did.

[thelifetimechannel]

[patriotsnet]

Are The Republicans Caucusing In Iowa

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/are-the-republicans-caucusing-in-iowa/

Are The Republicans Caucusing In Iowa

Winners Of The Iowa Caucus Since 2000

The 2020 Iowa caucuses, explained

Highlighted names became the partys presidential nominee.

Democrats

Our reporters provided real-time updates from the ground in Iowa.

Trip Gabriel, reporting from Des Moines Feb. 9, 2020

The Iowa Democrats released a new delegate count, but The AP hasnt called the race and the Sanders team says it will request a recanvass. Read more »

Trip Gabriel, reporting from Des Moines Feb. 8, 2020

Theyre still not done counting in Iowa. The state party says it will re-examine 95 precincts after receiving evidence of inconsistencies. Read more »

Reid Epstein, reporting from Manchester, N.H. Feb. 7, 2020

Buttigieg has taken 13 pledged delegates out of Iowa, and Sanders has won 12, according to AP. But theres one left to be allocated. Read more »

Maggie Astor, in New York Feb. 6, 2020

The Associated Press is unable to declare a winner, it now says. We could know the winner of New Hampshire before we know the winner of Iowa.

Reid Epstein, reporting from Manchester, N.H. Feb. 6, 2020

After DNC chair calls for a recanvass in Iowa, the Iowa Democratic Party chair says theyll conduct an audit if a campaign requests it. Read more »

Sydney Ember, in New York Feb. 6, 2020

Sanders declares a very strong victory based on the popular initial vote. Buttigieg has declared victory as well. Read more in our live updates »

Reid Epstein, reporting from Manchester, N.H. Feb. 6, 2020

Jennifer Medina, in Los Angeles Feb. 6, 2020

Lisa Lerer, on a flight to New Hampshire Feb. 6, 2020

Where Are The Caucuses Held

A caucus is usually held at a school or other public building in a precinct, depending on expected turnout. Churches, union halls, fire stations, businesses and private homes also serve as caucus sites.

Find your polling place through the Iowa Democratic Party;or the;Republican Party of Iowa.

Look up Republican caucus locations at the Republican Party of Iowa website

Some locations will host caucuses for multiple precincts on caucus night, so it will;be helpful;to know your precinct number so that you caucus with the right group.;

To find your precinct, go to the Secretary of States website:

Both parties recommend arriving 30 to 45 minutes early. The Democratic Party specifies;that you must be;signed in or in line by 7 p.m. to participate.

Iowa Caucus : Live Results And Analysis

The Iowa caucuses are kind of like neighborhood meetings where people get together and out in the open, with no secret ballot try to win over their friends, family and neighbors to support their preferred candidate.

The caucuses start a months-long process that eventually leads to the selection of 41 delegates, who will vote for a candidate at the party’s national convention. It’s a complex, unique and exhausting process that might go a little differently if done in a place that was temperamentally unlike Iowa.

The caucuses quadrennially come under fire for being overwhelmingly white and not representative of the country, let alone the Democratic Party. But the candidates have spent millions there and over the past 40 years, and it has been very predictive of who becomes the Democratic nominee.

Let’s break down how all this works.

What time do the caucuses take place?

They begin at 7 p.m. CT and are expected to last roughly an hour. The Iowa Democratic Party is trying to expedite the process this year with just two rounds of caucusing, so they may very well be wrapped up in less than an hour.

Who can vote?

The caucuses are “open.” In other words, any registered voter in the state can participate.

But for as much attention as the caucuses get, not many Iowans actually participate. In 2016, for example, fewer than 16% of people eligible to vote actually caucused.

Where do the caucuses happen?

How will we know who wins?

the statewide preference after the first alignment;

Don’t Miss: Republican Flag Pins

Tips For Caucusing With Kids

Yes, it can get heated. I remember seeing a friend of mine with one baby in a carrier, and two girls on each of her hands. She proudly stood in her candidates corner and stood back to listen to the process. She chimed in when she wanted, and her kids watched her the entire time. They were seeing their mother stand for what she believes in.

Changes In The 2020 Democratic Caucus

Two counts: In previous cycles, caucusgoers could realign multiple times. Starting this year, there is only one realignment and people who supported a viable candidate cannot vote again.

Satellite caucuses: For the first time in 2020, Democrats have allowed caucuses at;dozens of satellite locations, both in Iowa and in other states and three other countries, to allow people who could not caucus at 7 p.m. at their assigned precinct in Iowa to participate. Some of those satellite caucuses start earlier or later than 7 p.m. and some require preregistration.

Reporting results: Democrats will make public the raw vote numbers from the first and second alignments, as well as the delegate strength candidates have. In previous years, the party;reported only the delegate strength.;

View the final delegate totals as well as the first and second alignment vote numbers at DesMoinesRegister.com on Feb. 3.

Recommended Reading: How Many Republicans In Congress

A Wild Card For 202: The Trump Factor

Even as potential candidates begin making early moves in Iowa, Trumps shadow looms.

At the Conservative Political Action Conference in February, he continued to falsely claim he won the 2020 election and teased a 2024 campaign, saying I may even decide to beat them for a third time.

Trump remains popular among Iowa Republicans, who voted to send him back to the White House by an 8 percentage point margin. According to a , 89% of Iowa Republicans view him favorably.

And at CPAC in February, a straw poll showed him dominating a field of potential candidates. Trump won easily, earning 55% of the vote. At 21%, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis was the only other Republican to crack into double digits.

But Kaufmann said he doesnt believe politicians run the risk of alienating Trump or his supporters simply by showing up in Iowa.

In my conversations with many of these leaders and I’ve had conversations with many of them not one time, not one time did I hear one of these national leaders or a member of their team actually say anything negative or even imply anything negative towards the former president,” he said. “So no, I don’t think there’s any risk whatsoever.

But some Republicans say theyre ready to move on from Trump. Longtime Iowa operative Doug Gross said in January after the U.S. Capitol attack on Jan. 6;that he would personally try to block Trumps rise in Iowa if he were to run again.

It Might Just Be Game Over For The Iowa Caucuses

The states with the most privileged places on the presidential primary calendar are finding their roles more threatened than ever before.

Link Copied

The siege of Iowa and New Hampshire has begun.

The two states with privileged places on the presidential primary calendar are finding their roles more threatened than ever before most recently in the form of a bill introduced in Nevada this week to move that states nominating contest to the front of the line in 2024.

On its own, the Nevada encroachment would mean little. For years, Iowa and New Hampshire have successfully defended their one-two position from states eager to jump ahead. But the combination of Iowas botched 2020 caucus and increasing diversity in the Democratic Partys ranks has made the whiteness of Iowa and New Hampshire all the more conspicuous, putting the two states on their heels and throwing the 2024 calendar into turmoil.

Theres no reason in the world that those states should go forward so early, because theyre not representative of what 90 percent of the countrys all about, said former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, a Nevada Democrat who remains influential in party politics. America looks different than it did 50 years ago, when these traditions were put in place, and the Democratic electorate looks really different.

He added, Its no longer palatable, as far as Im concerned, for those states to take precedence over states like South Carolina and Nevada.

Filed Under:

Read Also: Are There Republicans Running For President

The 2024 Iowa Caucus Campaign Has Already Begun

Trump’s preeminence in the Republican Party isn’t stopping would-be successors from campaigning and recruiting supporters in Iowa.

06/28/2021 04:30 AM EDT

Link Copied

WEST DES MOINES, Iowa Former President Donald Trump would be the overwhelming frontrunner for the Republican Partys nomination should he wage a 2024 comeback bid. But thats not stopping his would-be GOP successors from barreling into Iowa.

Only months after Trumps election defeat, Republicans are laying the groundwork for the all-important, first-in-the-nation presidential caucuses. Potential candidates are hopscotching across the state to fundraise, campaign for midterm hopefuls and appear at traditional party dinners that mark the start of caucus season.

And behind the scenes, Republicans are making overtures to influential activists, meeting with party leaders and hiring operatives with deep experience in Iowa, which is still expected to be the first 2024 contest for Republicans even though Democrats are grappling with whether to change their nominating calendar.

The burst of early activity which is set to accelerate over the summer months illustrates how Republicans are maneuvering with an eye toward succeeding Trump. A Trump bid would likely extinguish their hopes of becoming the partys nominee, and at least one candidate has said they won’t run if if Trump does. But would-be contenders are wasting no time preparing for the possibility of an open nominating contest.

Filed Under:

What Is The Iowa Caucus

Iowa caucus: Republicans make presence known at Democrat events

The Iowa Caucus system begins with a group of 1,679 precinct caucuses that start the four-part presidential and midterm electoral process for both Democratic and Republican parties in Iowa. Precinct caucuses are party member meetings held in schools, libraries, churches and similar venues.

Can I participate?

Anyone who is an Iowa resident and of voting age can attend. Those not yet registered to vote, are able to complete registration before going in. If a potential participants registration is for a different party, party registration can be switched at the door. Meeting leaders are chosen, sometimes presidential candidates or candidate representatives briefly speak, the caucus participants discuss the candidates, and voteRepublicans on paper, Democrats with their feet. By the close of the caucus, delegates have been selected to go on to each partys county, district and state conventions.

Don’t Miss: Are There Any Republicans Challenging Trump

Meet Trumps Gop Opposition

Suffice it to say, neither Walsh nor Weld has much chance against Trump. Walsh has already announced that he will not be on the ballot in his home state of Illinois, citing a lack of resources and the need to focus on Iowa and New Hampshire. Ive contacted Weld and Walsh for comment and will update if and when I hear back.

Part of it is that we have to convince a lot of the Republican donors that there is a viable option and theyre going to want to see results before they put money into our organization, a spokesperson told the Chicago Sun-Times. And while Weld has polled well in New Hampshire, his numbers are far outmatched by Trumps.

But victory isnt necessarily the point of either mans long-shot bid for the White House. Rather, their campaigns are intended as signals to Trump-skeptical Republicans that theyre not alone in their opposition to the president.

For Weld, his focus is on restoring normalcy to the Republican Party as a real Republican. When I spoke with the former governor back in August and asked him about Trumps considerable popularity with the GOP, he told me, Im not willing to concede your premise. I will concede that Im a normal Republican, and the implication of that is that Mr. Trump is a Republican in name only.

He believes Republican voters are looking for fiscal conservatism and a small-government ethos from a presidential candidate willing to stand up for the taxpayer.

Weld has a lengthy political history, as I detailed last year:

Chaos As Democratic Party Blames Iowa Caucus Delays On ‘inconsistencies’ As It Happened

Help us cover the critical issues of 2020. Consider making a contribution

Joan E Greve in Des Moines

Tue 4 Feb 2020 07.27;GMT First published on Mon 3 Feb 2020 23.17;GMT

Elizabeth Warren, who had to be in Washington earlier today for the Senate impeachment trial, appeared at a Des Moines caucus site to deliver her campaign pitch in person.

Jess Bidgood

Warren speaks at Roosevelt High School caucus site in Des Moines. Layout of the room means shes making her unity pitch right in front of the Bernie corner. Opposing chants of warren! Warren! And Bernie beats trump as she leaves

Sam Levine

Eighteen Iowans made history Tuesday evening as they became the first people to participate in a caucus hosted entirely in American Sign Language in Des Moines.

Elizabeth Warren, Joe Biden and Pete Buttigieg were the three viable candidates after the first round of voting. Warren ultimately earned two delegates while Biden and Buttigieg earned one each.

But for many who attended, the significance of the event extended beyond choosing a nominee. It was the first time many had caucused, since the process can be so exclusionary towards deaf people.

Ive been paying my taxes for several years … We should be able to be involved in the political process, but due to communication, not being able to hear, it was a barrier before, August Cordero said.

Sam Levine

Recommended Reading: Why Is The Media Against Republicans

What To Know About The Iowa Caucuses

After months of campaigning, debating, polling, fundraising and eating fried food, Democratic presidential candidates face their first real-world test on Feb. 3, when Iowa voters have their say in the states caucuses. Heres a rundown of important things to know about Iowa and its first-in-the-nation vote.

What is;a caucus, and how is it different from a primary?

While primaries are run much like general elections lots of polling places, a secret ballot, many hours to vote Iowas caucuses are more like neighborhood meetings. Starting at 7 p.m. in each of the states 1,678 voting precincts , Democratic voters will gather, debate issues and candidates with each other, and eventually cluster in preference groups to elect delegates to their county conventions. The precinct caucuses kick off a process which, several months from now, will result in 41 delegates being chosen to represent Iowa at the Democratic National Convention. The whole caucus process, which can take more than an hour, is nicely illustrated here.

Iowas Democratic caucuses are open only to registered party members, not unaffiliated voters or those registered as Republicans or with other parties. However, people can register or change their party affiliation on caucus night if they want to participate.

How many people turn out for the caucuses?

How will we know who wins?

How reliably do the Iowa caucuses predict the ultimate nominee?

How many other states and territories use caucuses?

Republican V Democratic Caucuses

The Republican and Democratic caucus processes are very different. The Republican caucus is conducted by a vote, usually on sheets of paper. I have been to caucuses for both parties. The Republican caucus is often in a lecture hall as it is more conducive for sitting.

The Democratic caucus is a bit more complicated. It is an exciting visual demonstration of democracy. The Democratic caucus-goers congregate in a room based on which candidate they support. Some may be undecided, and they often sit in the middle of the room. Then, the caucus-goers try to sway their peers toward one candidate or another. Ive never been to a caucus with food, but Ive heard a plate of desserts has been known to decide a race.

Recommended Reading: Who Is Better Republicans Or Democrats

‘it’s Absolutely Earlier Than Before’

After breakfast with the Westside Conservatives Club, Pompeo planned;a meeting with the Bull Moose Club in downtown Des Moines with Terry Branstad, the former Iowa governor and former U.S. ambassador to China. The day before, Pompeo met with the Pottawattamie County Republicans at an event in Council Bluffs.;

Pompeo, who was a U.S. representative for the state of Kansas and the director of the Central Intelligence Agency before becoming secretary of state, previously was in Iowa last summer to speak at the Family Leadership Summit hosted by the Family Leader, a Christian conservative advocacy group.

Hes among a handful of Republicans who found reasons to travel to Iowa last year, including Tim Scott, Haley, Sen. Tom Cotton of Arkansas and South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem. Former Vice President Mike Pence was also a frequent visitor to Iowa while serving in the Trump administration.

Rick Scott, who is also the chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, will be in Cedar Rapids April 1 for an event organized by the Republican Party of Iowa. And Tim Scott will return to speak at a party event in Davenport April 15.

Kaufmann said the presidential activity is beginning sooner than it has in past years.

It is absolutely earlier than before, he said. No doubt about it.

Would-be candidates followed a similar schedule at the outset of the 2016 cycle, as Republicans made;their first visits to the state in May of 2013.;

Iowa Gop Chair Predicts State Will Keep First

JAMES Q. LYNCH

Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, arrives for a caucus night rally Monday in Des Moines. Cruz sealed a victory in the Republican Iowa caucuses.

Save

Its getting harder for Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel to say its too soon to know whether Iowa will again host the first-in-the-nation presidential caucuses.

Thats because her handpicked chairman of the panel that will set the GOPs national nomination calendar for 2024 keeps telling Iowa Republicans they will kick off the quadrennial process of choosing a nominee.

I’m in Iowa, so weve got to talk about it, but I don’t like getting ahead of my committee, McDaniel said when asked about Republican Party of Iowa Chairman Jeff Kaufmann saying matter-of-factly that Iowa will retain its leadoff status in the coming presidential election cycle.

The final decision, McDaniel said, will be up to the 168 RNC members representing Republicans in the United States and its territories.

I have to remain neutral, McDaniel said, adding that shes not hearing chatter within the party to change the nomination calendar.

Kaufmann feels no such obligation to remain neutral. And hes chattering plenty.

I do have an opinion about where Iowa should be in the nomination process, he said while introducing the chairwoman Aug. 28 to about 700 people at 1st District U.S. Rep. Ashley Hinsons BBQ Bash.

Also Check: Who Has More Billionaires Democrats Or Republicans

[thezeekrecord]

GAGEGN ch11

[index/summary]

REPORT: Regarding the "Science Team" and co.'s dinner party

[CW: a little bit of child distress in this one, but it doesn't go ignored!]

Harold had just gotten a cell phone recently. It hadn’t come into particular use just yet, but he did like the idea that he was reachable at all times now, if needed; it just turned out that the time he was needed was at 3 in the morning.

Harold was startled awake by his cell phone, vibrating against the nightstand and chiming several times. Bubby jolted up in bed, breathing hard and gripping the blankets tightly in his hands as he looked for the source of the sound deliriously.

“It’s just my cell phone, my dear.” Harold comforted.

Bubby relaxed, pinching the bridge of his nose and groaning. “Jesus Christ. Who the fuck is calling you?”

Harold picked up his phone, looking at the little tiny screen on the front cover. “...It’s not a call, it’s several text messages from Gordon.”

“Tell Gordon not to fucking text you at 3am.” Bubby grumbled, laying back down and rolling himself up in their blanket.

Harold leaned back against his pillow, flipping his phone open to read through the messages with one hand and placing the other on Bubby’s shoulder. Bubby grumbled something incomprehensible, reaching up to hold Harold’s hand while he drifted off back to sleep. GORDON: dr coomer GORDON: soldiers are in my house GORDON: im in the basement with josh but i dont have much time GORDON: dr coomer pls wake up i cant call you or theyll hear me down here GORDON: i dont know what to do i dont have anything to fight them with i cant protect josh like this

Harold gripped Bubby’s hand, shaking him back awake. “Bubby! Gordon’s in trouble!”

“Huh? What?” Bubby asked sleepily, sitting up again and reaching for his glasses. “What the fuck kind of trouble did he get into at this time of night?”

Harold shuffled through their closet, pulling out the brass knuckles he’d managed to salvage from their bank robberies. “He said there’s soldiers in his house. We’d better be ready for a fight.”

“Soldiers? Why are there fucking soldiers in Gordon’s house?” Bubby asked, standing up as well. “Did Gordon break the contract or something?”

“No time to question it! Let’s go.” Harold said hastily, hurrying out of their shared bedroom and down the stairs. He could hear Bubby behind him as he burst out the front door, sprinting across the street to Gordon’s house. He’d expected to see his door busted down, but it stood firmly in its place. Harold tried the handle, finding it locked. Perhaps they’d broken in through the back, Harold thought as he turned to circle around the house.

The back door was locked as well, and completely intact, Harold found. Strange—he didn’t see any soldiers in the house through the glass, either.

“What the fuck?” Bubby whispered, trying the door as well.

“Perhaps they locked the doors when they entered.” Harold whispered back thoughtfully. “I’ll go grab my keys.”

Harold sprinted back to his house, scooping up his keys from the kitchen counter and hurrying back. He had a good number of keys—for his own house, for his car, and for the houses of his friends that they’d given to him, including Gordon’s. Bubby stood waiting for him at the front door, and Harold hastily unlocked it, throwing it open and readying himself for a fight.

Nobody was there.

Harold and Bubby exchanged a look. Bubby nodded towards the stairs up to the bedrooms, hefting up his metal baseball bat. Harold nodded, and Bubby was on his way up as Harold headed downstairs. He’d expected to see soldiers tearing the place apart looking for Gordon, but there was nobody; all the lights were off, and the only sign of life was the mess Gordon and Joshua were apparently living in these days. Harold filed that thought away for later, heading down to the basement and opening the door.

Harold was confronted with Gordon, a hammer raised above his head, ready to strike. Gordon stopped, terrified expression falling to deep relief as he dropped the hammer to his side.

“Dr. Coomer!” He whispered, closing the door behind him. “Did you see the soldiers?”

Harold shook his head. “No, though I didn’t check upstairs. Bubby’s up there now.”

The two pointedly paused to listen. They heard floorboards creaking, and Harold recognized the footsteps of Bubby instantly as he began heading down the steps—he always had a particular rhythm when he headed down a staircase in a rush—and sure enough, Bubby joined them in the basement.

“Gordon, what the fuck? There’s nobody here.” Bubby said accusingly.

“Shhhh!” Gordon hushed, closing the door behind them again. “They’re here. I know they’re here, I fucking heard them!”

“I just searched your whole house for you, and didn’t see anybody.” Bubby went on in his normal loud tone.

“Keep your fucking voice down!” Gordon whisper-yelled, holding up his hammer again. “Maybe they left when they heard you coming. They’re gonna come back, and we’re gonna be like fish in a fucking barrel.”

Harold frowned as Bubby and Gordon went back and forth, glancing over the room for Joshua. Gordon must have hidden him somewhere, he thought as he stepped further into the room to look. Finally, he opened the door to the little laundry room, finding Joshua curled up in the corner and peeking over a blanket. He looked terrified, immediately standing to run to Harold and hug him tightly.

“It’s alright, Joshua.” Harold reassured him quietly. He scooped him up in his arms, pausing in the laundry room to think.

It seemed highly unlikely that, after shelling out hundreds of thousands of dollars to buy the Science Team’s silence, they would start trying to pick them off like this. Harold let out a deep sigh, patting Joshua’s back comfortingly as he listened to Bubby and Gordon talk.

“You have to believe me! I swear I heard them!” Gordon pleaded, still whisper-yelling.

“Well, they’re not here now.” Bubby argued. “Are you sure you didn’t have some kind of nightmare?”

“I could hear them while I was down here!” Gordon insisted. “If they—”

Gordon’s panicked whispering suddenly became a loud, surprised scream. Harold peeked his head out of the laundry room, watching Gordon clutch his chest as he pressed his back against the wall, staring at Tommy who stood there with a handgun.

“I got your texts, Mr. Freeman.” He announced, looking around. “I didn’t see anybody here, though. I triple checked.”

Harold emerged fully from the laundry room, still carrying Joshua, who clung to Harold’s shirt tightly. Gordon slid down along the wall until he was sitting down, still gripping his hammer tightly in his hand as he caught his breath.

“I’m not fucking making this up, guys. I heard them.” Gordon said, his voice much more broken now than it was before.

“Of course, Gordon, I don’t believe you would make something like this up.” Harold said reassuringly, kneeling down to sit beside Gordon. “Perhaps you should get some rest. You seem tired.”

Gordon looked to Harold, eyes sunken and exhausted. He bit his lip, setting his hammer aside so he could reach out for Joshua. Harold passed him over, patting Gordon’s shoulder comfortingly as Gordon hugged Joshua close.

“I’m sorry, bud. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Gordon murmured to Joshua.

“How much have you slept recently?” Bubby asked.

Gordon sighed. “...Not much.”

“Why don’t you two come sleep at our house?” Harold suggested. “We have our guest rooms made up very nicely, I’m sure you two will be comfortable.”

Gordon rubbed at his eyes, mumbling something Harold didn’t quite hear to himself before nodding. “...That would be really nice, Dr. Coomer. I’m...I’m really sorry, guys.”

“That’s okay, Mr. Freeman.” Tommy replied.

“It’s perfectly fine, Gordon. I don’t blame you whatsoever.” Harold added. “Now, let’s head on over and get some sleep.”

Harold led the pack out of the basement, pausing at the top of the staircase as Bubby and Tommy followed close behind. Gordon stood at the doorway, still clutching Joshua in his arms, staring hesitantly back up at the group.

“It’s alright, Gordon, there’s nobody up here.” Harold coaxed.

Gordon took a deep breath, then began heading up the stairs, deliberately avoiding creaky floorboards. Harold stuck close to Gordon’s side as they headed across the street, Tommy parting ways to go back to his own place. Gordon jumped at the sound of their night owl neighbors laughing in their house beside Harold’s and Bubby’s, but soon, they were back in the safety of Harold’s home, and Gordon visibly relaxed a little.

“Do you want your own room?” Gordon asked Joshua as Harold led them up the stairs.

Joshua shook his head, clinging a little closer to Gordon. Gordon nodded, and Harold took them to the guest room closest to his and Bubby’s bedroom.

“You two feel free to call me if you need me for anything.” Harold said as Gordon and Joshua began settling into the large bed.

“Okay.” Gordon sighed. “...Thank you, guys. I’m—seriously, I’m really sorry about all this. I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s fine, Gordon, whatever.” Bubby said dismissively as he continued down the hall to get back to bed.

“Yes, Gordon, it’s completely okay.” Harold said reassuringly. “You two get some rest. I love you.”

“Love you too, Coomer. Thanks.” Gordon murmured. “Say ‘goodnight’, Josh.”

“Goodnight.” Joshua’s tiny voice said.

“Goodnight, Joshua. I love you very much.” Harold replied with a smile.

Harold turned off the light, closing the door gently behind him before returning to his own room. Bubby was already in bed, curled up with most of the blanket—which was usually fine, Harold tended to radiate heat a lot more than Bubby did. Harold climbed back into bed with a deep sigh.

“I’m quite worried about him.” Harold muttered.

“...Yeah.” Bubby replied quietly, rolling over to face Harold. “Did you see his house? It was a mess.”

Harold nodded. “I don’t want to judge too harshly, a little mess is to be expected raising a child, but...”

“Yeah, but it looked pretty bad in there. You should’ve seen upstairs.” Bubby grumbled. “Seems like he’s in a pretty bad way.”

“Perhaps we should keep a closer eye on him.” Harold suggested.

“Yeah. Seems like it.”

As Harold and Bubby settled in to get back to sleep, Harold noticed floorboards creaking out in the hall, just outside Gordon’s room. The hall light flicked on, then the footsteps returned to the room. Harold never heard the door close.

****

Darnold had forgotten how nice it was to live with someone else—of course, the only person he’d ever lived with in his life was his mom—but Tommy was a good roommate. The feelings he had for him that were definitely a crush aside, he was a cool person to hang out with, and their living habits merged pretty well, all things considered. Having Benry around threw a wrench into things, though; Darnold had to appreciate Tommy’s determination with Benry, at least, but that was about the only thing he felt he could appreciate out of the situation.

It wasn’t bad enough that he’d want to go out of his way to kick him out, though. He was just...sort of annoying, but that was it. He could deal with annoying if he had to.

Darnold was sitting in his computer chair, currently doing his best to maintain his focus on a TF2 match as Benry leaned against the back of his chair, practically breathing into his ear. When Darnold finally had a moment after getting sniped, he quickly turned to Benry.

“Umm, could you back off just a little?” He asked.

Benry moved off the back of Darnold’s chair, pulling up that metal chair he usually carried around and setting it out to sit beside Darnold and watch him play. Darnold turned back to the screen, ignoring him. Benry clearly knew just as much about the game as Darnold did, but he really seemed to be less interested in playing it than he was into just watching Darnold play—they ended up spending a lot of time together like this, Benry in Darnold’s bubble, watching him in relative silence.

“Hey, Darnold.” Benry suddenly said.

“Yeah?” Darnold asked, nudging one ear of his headset off to hear Benry better.

“What’s it like being one of the only humans in the group?”

Darnold let himself die in the game so he could look at Benry in surprise. “Wh—huh? I’m not one of the only humans, am I?”

“Yeah, man. Me, Tommy, and Bubby aren’t human. Dr. Coomer’s human, but he’s got all those uhhh, all those...robots added to him.” Benry explained. “And like, Gordon’s the player, so...y’know. You’re like, completely normie.”

“Uhhhh...” Darnold rested his chin in his hand. “I guess that’s pretty weird. I didn’t really...but—hang on, what makes Gordon so different now, then?”

Benry didn’t reply to that. He stared at Darnold for an awkwardly long moment before he jumped in surprise at the sound of the doorbell ringing, looking at the doorway of Darnold’s bedroom. Darnold stood, pausing as he saw Tommy already crossing the hallway to get it. Darnold eased back down into his chair, pulling his headset off fully to hear the conversation at the door. He couldn’t quite make out the words, but he could tell it was Dr. Coomer—he had a fairly distinctive voice. Eventually, he heard the stairs creaking before Tommy poked his head into Darnold’s room.

“Hey, Dr. Coomer invited us over for dinner.” Tommy said. “Do you wanna come?”

Darnold left the game, leaving his headset behind on his desk. “Yeah, sure.”

Benry stood as well, and once they were ready, the group headed across the street to Dr. Coomer and Bubby’s house. Darnold brought along a box of potions he’d mixed together in his newfound spare time, contained neatly in some nice glass bottles while Tommy brought a bag of chips and some salsa, and Benry brought another unwrapped block of ramen. Tommy knocked on the door politely, greeted almost immediately by Dr. Coomer.

“It’s so good to see all of you!” Dr. Coomer said with a friendly smile, reaching down to pat Sunkist’s head. “Come in! I made chili, and Bubby baked a wonderful loaf of bread!”

Dr. Coomer stepped aside, allowing the group to enter. Darnold paused when he saw a couple familiar faces already sat at the table, one of which immediately turned sour at the sight of Benry. Darnold had to resist an exhausted sigh. So this was one of those dinners, he thought to himself; Dr. Coomer and Bubby had some sort of agenda to get Gordon and Benry in the same room. He was going to have to emotionally prepare himself for a lot of yelling, he thought.

“Hey, Benry.” Gordon greeted through gritted teeth as Bubby deposited a heavily burnt loaf of bread on the table.

“Yo.” Benry replied casually.

Gordon slumped down in his seat a little, glaring at Benry as he scooped up Joshua from the seat next to him to sit him down in his lap. As Joshua began struggling, he suddenly froze, eerily still in his spot as Darnold felt a pressure closing in on him. Darnold’s eyes widened, looking around. Everyone else was completely still as well—except for Tommy, who leaned in close to Darnold to whisper to him conspiratorially. “You sit next to Gordon, okay?”

“Did you just stop time?” Darnold asked in awe.

Tommy nodded.

Darnold reached over to Benry’s hat, lifting one of the flaps that sat over his ear and pulling away. It stayed exactly like that, just waiting to fall once time resumed.

“That’s incredible.” Darnold murmured.

“I’ll sit next to you there, and—uhh, and Benry will sit there. That’ll be, like, a buffer.” Tommy went on, pointing out the seats strategically.

Darnold nodded. “Alright.”

Still frozen in time, Tommy urged Darnold to take his seat, and Tommy sat down beside him as planned, releasing the timestop once they were settled. Everything returned to normal, and the group looked at Darnold and Tommy in surprise once they noticed the change—Benry’s eyes widening when his hat flopped back down to its normal position.

“Jesus, Tommy, do you have to do that?” Gordon questioned.

“Benry, come sit here.” Tommy called. Benry complied, plopping down beside Tommy.

“So what’s up, man?” Benry asked, leaning on the table to get a good look at Gordon. “Whatcha been up to?”

“I’ve been taking care of my son.” Gordon said bitterly.

“Oh, shit, yeah. Your lil’ uhhh, lil’ noob baby.” Benry said, suddenly looking down to Joshua. “What’s—”

“Don’t talk to my son.” Gordon growled, tightening his grip around Joshua.

Joshua looked uneasy, clinging to Gordon’s shirt. Darnold frowned down at him, exchanging a brief glance with Tommy. Complex feelings about this arrangement aside—he wasn’t sure it was such a good idea to force Gordon in the same room with Benry like this, but hey, maybe Dr. Coomer and Bubby knew what they were doing—he felt bad for the kid, getting caught in the crosshairs of something his dad was clearly struggling with.

“Umm, say, Gordon.” Darnold interrupted as Bubby began attempting to slice his burnt bread. “I just ate recently, I’m not all that hungry. Why don’t you let me hold Josh so you can eat?”

It was a blatant lie, his mouth was watering at the smell of Dr. Coomer’s chili, but he was more concerned about Joshua picking up on Gordon’s stress. Gordon shook his head, though, holding Joshua defensively.

“No, it’s fine, I do this all the time.” Gordon replied, his tone suddenly casual.

“...Alright.” Darnold murmured uncomfortably.

“I am also quite curious what you’ve been up to, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer chimed in as he entered the dining room with a pot of chili. “It’s been a little while since we’ve all been in the same room, hasn’t it?”

It had been a little while, actually, Darnold realized with a start. Maybe a month? It was sort of hard to tell, when Darnold had so little structure in his life now.

“Uhh, you know. Not much.” Gordon replied, some of the venom seeping out of his tone as Dr. Coomer served him a bowl of chili. Bubby was now practically attacking the bread loaf with the knife, struggling to get it into manageable slices. “I’ve been getting ready to start homeschooling Josh, actually, now that I don’t actually have to work anymore. Except, y’know, maybe I should work a little to be sure I have a good amount of money set aside for his college fund? I dunno. I’m still working it out.”

“Bro, I think he’s like, at least five years too young for college.” Benry commented.

Gordon turned back to Benry with a cold look.

Joshua started to say something to Darnold, grabbing his shirt in his little fist eagerly to get his attention. Darnold smiled down at him and nodded, but for the life of him, he couldn’t understand what he was saying.

“He’s asking if you like Kiko.” Gordon translated helpfully.

“Oh! Umm, what’s Kiko?” Darnold asked Joshua.

Joshua began talking, something about Neopets? And he just nodded encouragingly as Dr. Coomer served the chili for everyone.

“Do you need help with the bread, dear?” Dr. Coomer asked Bubby.

Bubby hissed in frustration, slamming the bread down on the table and placing two fingers to his temple. The bread immediately burst into flames. Darnold would’ve been a little more surprised, if he didn’t work with a Bubby prototype briefly who had the same tendency to do this. Everyone stared at the bread for a long moment wordlessly.

“Yooo, the bread.” Benry muttered sadly.

Dr. Coomer turned towards the kitchen. His arms extended over the counter, retrieving a towel to place over the bread to suffocate the fire calmly. “That’s alright!” He said cheerily, picking up the sad remains of the loaf. “I bought a nice sourdough for tomorrow’s dinner, we can have that tonight.”

“Wait!” Benry exclaimed, holding out his hands.

Dr. Coomer placed the charred loaf into Benry’s hands, and he immediately began gnawing on it.

As Darnold sat there, watching the group fall into a familiar rhythm with each other, his earlier conversation with Benry came back to mind. It wasn’t just how they all had such...exciting backstories, to put it crudely, but they all knew each other. Darnold had only been a part of their lives for, what, 20 minutes at most, before showing up again after the game? What place did he have in this group, after they’d all been through hell together? Maybe he should have gone with them after all, he thought as he stirred his chili in his bowl.

No, he asserted to himself. He had avoided something massively traumatic by not going with them. It was better this way.

Then again, had he just ignored an opportunity to be involved with something greater than himself, merely because it was scary?

“Hey, are you alright, man?” Gordon asked quietly.

Darnold looked up at Gordon in surprise. Joshua was already munching on a piece of sourdough bread, Dr. Coomer swiftly slicing more for the group while Gordon stirred his share of chili in his bowl.

“Uhh, yeah, I’m good.” Darnold said hurriedly. “Thanks, though.”

“Alright. Just checking.”

Darnold listened to Bubby and Benry go back and forth about something he didn’t quite understand; it kind of just sounded like they were saying word salad at each other with full confidence, or maybe Darnold’s ability to keep up with normal conversations was quickly draining out of him. Seeing he wasn’t going to get anything out of this conversation, Darnold turned back to Gordon.

“Umm, to be honest, if it’s not out of line for me to say...I’m a little more concerned about you.” Darnold whispered.

Gordon frowned deeply. “Yeah, I’m fine, dude. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“You sure?”

Gordon nodded. “Yeah. It’s good. Gordon's all normal.”

He didn’t seem good. He looked exhausted; like he’d thrown on some nice clothes, but didn’t even have the energy to put any real effort into it. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair was half-brushed, and there were deep bags underneath his eyes—he looked like he was gonna pass out at the table at any minute. Was Darnold really in a position to push it, though?

“It’s...kinda weird, right?” Darnold asked instead, nodding to the others around the table. “While I was trying to get out of Black Mesa, I kept thinking I was gonna return to something normal. But pretty much nothing here is really all that normal.”

Gordon laughed exhaustedly. “Yeah. I had sort of a hard time picturing all of ‘em in, like, a domestic setting like this, but...I guess it sure is happening, huh?”

Darnold nodded, looking as subtly as he could manage to Tommy.

“Hey, can I ask you something, Darnold?” Gordon asked.

“Oh yeah, sure.”

“Do you, like...remember anything from before the resonance cascade?” Gordon questioned carefully. “Like, y’know, specific things. Particular memories.”

Darnold paused in a moment of confusion before nodding. “...Yeah, I remember lots of things.”

Gordon got a conflicted look on his face before returning to his food wordlessly.

“Do you not?” Darnold pressed.

“Y-yeah, of course I do.” Gordon said dismissively. “I mean, I remember Josh and all, don’t I?”

Darnold stared at Gordon for a long few seconds before letting it go. “...Yeah, that makes sense.”

Dinner proceeded quietly after that for a while. Darnold had eaten more than his fair share of chili and shared the potions with everyone—Gordon pointedly declined, to Darnold’s deep disappointment—and he was finally starting to feel a little more relaxed before Dr. Coomer spoke with a more serious tone.

“Now...I was hoping we could all talk about the resonance cascade.” He announced to everyone.

Everyone was quiet.

“The rules of that world were most certainly different from the one we currently occupy.” Dr. Coomer went on, twirling his hair between his fingers. “So, I hope everyone recognizes that I ask this with absolutely no judgment whatsoever. However, I do believe we’ve all been quite curious, Benry...what happened at the end.”

Benry’s muscles tensed immediately, and he tilted his head downwards, casting a shadow over his eyes as he stared at his mostly eaten chunk of burnt bread.

“I’m sorry, Benry, I’m only asking to understand.” Dr. Coomer said gently.

“I don’t know, man!” Benry growled. “Why does it even matter? It was in a game, it doesn’t make a difference.”

“Of course it makes a fucking difference!” Gordon snapped.

“Gordon, you’re not helping, can you stop?” Bubby said flatly.

“What, so I’m not even allowed to be angry about it?!” Gordon demanded. “Of course you wouldn’t want me to think too hard about everything that happened, right?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bubby questioned defensively.

“You know what it means!” Gordon held up his prosthetic for Bubby to see.

“Oh, dear. Gordon, we’re not trying to—” Dr. Coomer tried to start again, immediately interrupted by Gordon.

“So you just try to kill us, disappear, and then show up again and expect me to think that’s fine?” Gordon asked, turning to look back to Benry. “We could’ve died! You were actively trying to kill us! So excuse me if I don’t want you in my life, anymore!”

Benry made several mocking, babbling noises back at Gordon, and Darnold could practically feel the hatred radiating off of Gordon.

“You guys—” Tommy tried.

“We’re trying to help, Gordon! If you would just take a second and listen, we could settle this!” Bubby shouted over Gordon’s next string of insults.

“Bubby, dear, you’re exacerbating things quite badly yourself.” Dr. Coomer said sternly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Gordon—”

“I can’t fucking believe you guys don’t care!” Gordon continued, heedless of anyone else. “He tried to kill us! Of course I’m mad! So why aren’t you guys mad?!”

“Of fucking course I’m mad!” Tommy shouted over Gordon.

Everyone paused, turning to look at Tommy. In that moment of tense silence, Darnold finally could hear worried whimpers from Joshua. Darnold frowned, reaching for Joshua. Gordon started to pull him away at first, but stopped halfway through the motion before letting out a deep sigh and handing him over to Darnold. Darnold stood, patting Joshua’s back comfortingly as everyone looked up at him.

“Ummm—I’m not really all that...involved in all this.” Darnold said awkwardly. “I’ll just watch over Josh while you guys, uhh, figure this out.”

Darnold carried Joshua out of the room, unsure of where to go. He chose to climb up the stairs, taking Joshua to what looked like one of the guest rooms and plopping down on the floor with him.

“So...” Darnold sighed, letting Joshua loose to explore the room. “Neopets, huh?”

****

Everyone’s eyes were on Tommy, now that Darnold was gone. Tommy bit his lower lip, pressing his fingers into the tip of his spoon as he tried to get words together in his head.

“You’re mad at me, bro?” Benry pressed, a heartbroken look on his face. When Tommy didn’t say anything back in time, he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and sighing. “Whatever, man. It’s whatever.”

“I mean, I don’t fucking blame him!” Mr. Freeman started again.

“Guys, stop!” Tommy interrupted. “Would you just give me a second to think, please?”

Everyone went quiet again, allowing Tommy the space he needed to think. Finally, he took a deep breath and turned to Mr. Freeman.

“I wish you wouldn’t—you just...you’re not helping, Mr. Freeman.” Tommy began tentatively. “I understand why you’re mad, but Dr. Coomer was trying to in—uhh, initiate a conversation about it, and you...you immediately started yelling and made it worse.”

“But—”

“Hold on!” Tommy snapped, holding up a hand. Next, he turned to Benry. “I wish you wouldn’t dismiss it when we...when we try to tell you how your actions hurt us.”

“Yeah, but you’re fine.” Benry huffed.

“Oh my god.” Bubby groaned from the other side of the table. “This isn’t going to go anywhere, is it?”

“There’s no need for that attitude, Bubby.” Dr. Coomer scolded gently before turning to address the group again. “We’re all together now, in a safe environment. There’s no reason why we can’t try to see this from other angles, right?”

“What other angle is there?” Mr. Freeman questioned. “He tried to kill us!”

“But why?” Bubby asked, looking pointedly at Benry.

“What fucking—is there really going to be a satisfactory answer?!” Mr. Freeman shouted.

“No offense, Gordon, but I don’t think you’re going to understand.” Bubby replied as he adjusted his glasses on his face.

“Why not?” Mr. Freeman demanded.

“Because you weren’t an NPC.”

Mr. Freeman stood forcefully, chair clattering to the floor behind him. “How can you tell me that I don’t—I’m just not gonna understand, as if I don’t have a right to this conversation? NPC or not, I was there, too! How can you just—expect me to let it go, like it didn’t mean anything?!”

“We never said that.” Tommy said with a deep frown.

“We’re just worried about you, Gordon.” Dr. Coomer added. “We hoped if you could get closure on this, you could start to move on.”

Mr. Freeman gave Dr. Coomer a surprised look. After a long pause, he seemed to forcibly relax his muscles a little. “...I-I’m sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t yell, you guys don’t need that. I’m...I’m really sorry. It’s just—I’m having a hard time seeing why we should even be hearing him out, here.”

“Man, you gotta calm down.” Benry chimed in, leaning back in his chair casually.

“Benry, would you just shut up for a second, please?” Mr. Freeman asked through gritted teeth.

“It all happened in a game, what’s it matter? You worked up over a game, bro? Gonna freak out about a video game?”

“Shut up!” Mr. Freeman screamed, slamming his fists down on the table.

Tommy winced, shutting his eyes and covering his ears, but when he opened them, he had to take a long moment to process what he was seeing. The table was slanted at a strange angle towards him and Mr. Freeman, all the bowls slowly sliding off and shattering on the floor. Tommy looked down at the legs of the table, expecting to find them broken somehow, but instead, he found them clipped right through the floor. Tommy looked up at Mr. Freeman with wide eyes.

“What the—...” Mr. Freeman said under his breath, trying to push the table back to where it belonged, but it stayed stuck where it was. He gritted his teeth, eyes widening in panic as he pushed it harder, only for it to disappear entirely beneath his palms. He stumbled forward, only barely managing to catch himself before he turned to look at everyone, clutching his chest and breathing hard.

“Did you just disappear me and Harold’s table?!” Bubby demanded.

“I-it’s quite alright, Gordon.” Dr. Coomer said with an uneasy smile.

“I’m going home.” Mr. Freeman announced, racing up the stairs. He returned shortly after with Joshua wiggling in his arms, slamming the front door shut behind him.

[previous | next]

[comicteaparty]

January 21st-January 27th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from January 21st, 2019 to January 27th, 2019.  The chat focused on Helsirvente by khkddn.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Helsirvente by khkddn~! (http://helsirvente.webcomic.ws/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until January 27th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. Who do you think Helsirvente is? For that matter, what do you think Helsirvente is? Ultimately, what theories do you have on Helsirvente’s goals considering they involve a lot of murder that has specific signs on the body?

QUESTION 4. How exactly do you think the red ghost from the first arc knows Helsirvente and what does that have to do with their rage? Additionally, who was the ominous green ghost who helped save Edith?

QUESTION 5. Given its continual mentions, how might Edith’s possession in the first chapter continue to affect their future ghost hunting? Do you believe Edith is dealing with it, or are there going to be long-term emotional effects for a long time to come?

snuffysam

1. For me, it'd have to be the end of chapter 2. Figuring out Roswell's power and discovering the baby boy that he is (except not really) was just real fun.

snuffysam

2. For the main characters... I'm gonna say Edith. I like how she's the risk taker of the group (particularly when it comes to impressing Sadie). for minor characters... Trash Reaper over Jacques.

3. Helsirvente eats ghosts, according to the last couple pages

due to... hunger, i guess

Not sure what's up with the specific body signs though. Helsirvente poking metaphorical holes in their victims so that their spirits don't blow up in the proverbial microwave?(edited)

Red Ghost was probably killed by Helsirvente

though if that's the case, what's up with Helsirvente killing someone, then leaving their ghost in an abandoned spot for years? Seems like you wouldn't get a great dinner that way

khkddn

I mean we've all forgotten stuff in the microwave before, right, maybe that's what happened

Or she doesn't taste good

snuffysam

i suppose we wouldn't be able to meet both red ghost and roswell if they tasted good

or the hound

or i guess trash reaper and jacques?

khkddn

Who would have thought, a ghost going by the name of Trash, would taste bad

snuffysam

jacques probably tastes like snails

khkddn

That's what he RP's he is, but he's more like a cheeseburger(edited)

Delphina

Just caught up on the comic! Reminds me a lot of Paranatural in its subject matter and banter! XDDD

Edith is pretty decisive and definitely stands out as the most memorable protagonist to me of the four. I like that Sadie is taking a more proactive interest in the "hitting stuff with crowbars" department, though, since the guys just seem to take more passive roles of standing back and/or sassing.

Of the ghosts, Trash Ghost is definitely a very lovable kind of delusional. I also like Green Ghost. It seemed so happy about seeing people!

I think my favorite scene so far is the one where they defeat Roswell's illusions with bird puns. Can't go wrong with bird puns.

khkddn

ah thanks, paranatural was one of my inspirations for the comic hah

RebelVampire

QUESTION 6. Do you think Sadie is a murderer as her fear-induced illusion accused her of being? If so, how did it happen and who do you think the illusion entity was supposed to be?

RebelVampire

1) Any of the scenes where Edith is interacting with the red ghost whether real or illusion. THey are creepy af in the most excellent way between their visuals and pacing. And I like in general just how dangerous the situation feels whenever the red ghost is about. 2) Theo. I like the idea that their supposed ghost expert in the group is also the most cowardly. And I also how comically he tries to play off his cowardice but then at other times flat out acknowledge it. And inevitability I'm really interested in seeing his character growth and how he overcomes these things. 3) I'm gonna take the implication to be that Helsirvente is a spirit of some sort. Maybe the spirit of a serial killer who was like "Hey I can kill ever more ppl when dead cause they can't hurt me." Although I think Helsirvente is actually killing people hoping to steal ppl's ghost powers. And the more traumatic the death, the more power they get or something like that. I think this fits in well why some ghosts aren't eaten as Roswell implies Helsirvente does. That or the ghosts have to take time to marinate to be good enough to eat.

4) Red ghost I assumed was killed by Helsirvente but then Helsirvente mehed and moved on. So red ghost basically died for nothing thus her unending rage. As for the green ghost...no one good. I do not trust the green ghost at all. There's being happy to interact with people and then there's being a massive creeper about it. I would not be surprised if the green ghost turned out to be helsirvente. 5) I do not think Edith is dealing with the posession at all. I think emotionally she's trying to live in denial and move on rather than confronting how scared she was even after the fact. I think once she does come to terms shes not invulnerable, she's gonna learn to be less reckless during their adventures. 6) im gonna ballpark guess: the illusion entity was meant to be her father that she killed in self defense when he was being abusive. although even if not her dead, im sitting firm that i think she totally definitely killed him and that it was a self defense sort of situation

Delphina

Yah, I could see it being Sadie's father or older brother figure and she's got some strong trauma that's being interpreted as "I killed him" through the guilt lens. Perhaps that's why she was so excited to join Edith's ghost group in the first place.

"Maybe I can talk to him/explain things/apologize if I can see him again."

snuffysam

or maybe she was little and that guy was driving a car that swerved from hitting her

khkddn

Oh interesting theories :o

Delphina

Is "Helsirvente" supposed to be pronounced like "Hell Servant"?(edited)

khkddn

It's "hell sir ventay"

Or "hell sir vahnt" but I think I'm the only person in the world who's thought to pronounce it that way, so the other one is how the characters say it

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. The story emphasizes Roswell’s illusions can be future fears, so which fears (if any) do you think were those future fears? What do you think they predict for the story?

RebelVampire

(the archive for the chat on sunstrike and bluemist is now available~! @ShaRose49 https://comicteaparty.com/post/182287769955/january-14th-january-20th-2019-ctp-archive)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 8. Do you think when all is said and done that Mariel will come to trust Edith and company? Will Roswell get to move into the diner as well? Lastly, why was Mariel so freaked out upon learning they knew about a Helsirvente corpse?

RebelVampire

7) comically i hope its this clown http://helsirvente.webcomic.ws/comics/102/ that was a future fear. cause always gotta take the opportunities to make clowns terrifying. also mothman. cause mothman illusion was adorable. but more seriously i think the red ghost illusion thing had an aura of both. like thats a fear thatll just keep on giving cause of all the illusions that one seemed the most ominous. but either way i definitely think they arent done with getting into more ghost trouble 8) i think mariel might have been freaked out cause perhaps the corpses somehow attract helsirvente? cause that sounds like a logical reason to be terrified of them and be suspicious of anyone who might have contact with helsirvente. i dont think mariel will trust so much as just tolerate. assume that there are bigger fish to fry and that murdering human children isnt productive. so yeah, i think theyll let roswell move in. roswell can learn to dramatically roleplay and gain some confidence.

Delphina

Roswell: I'm gonna be a LARPer like the cool kids! =D Zander: Oh buddy we gotta have a talk about the cool kids...

khkddn

lol, Roswell would be a great larper

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. How do you believe the increasing danger of the ghost hunts will affect all the characters? Specifically, how might their relationship dynamics be effected?

Delphina

That's an interesting question because it feels like we already started on a pretty high note of danger/life-threatening in the first chapter. It's only really Zander and Theo's conversations with Sadie that we got any indication this level of danger in ghost hunts was atypical for them. So I wonder if Zander and Theo are going to reconsider their role in this and want to back away from all this (I don't have a strong sense of their characters/motivations at this point, so really not sure). I suspect with the possession and Edith's strong-headed nature, she's just gonna get in over her head more and more but be too stubborn to admit it because she's always felt like the one in control. Sadie is sorta in the middle because this is new to her and she doesn't have a sense of normal yet, and it seems like she might be seeking closure for the dude she "killed" in all this, so I expect that to be a further motivation for her and hope to see more details about her past as we go.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

snuffysam

the thing I'm looking forward to most is seeing these characters grow. I fell in love with all four of these idiots through the first few chapters, and now I want to see how they develop over the rest of the comic.

khkddn

they're gonna change, but still prolly be idiots unfortunately

overall it's been neat hearing what people think will happen next!

Delphina

I really like the episodic nature and how each part reveals a little more about the big secret stuff at the core. The balance of snark and horrific is also fun. I hope we see a little more about the human characters' lives, both in and outside of ghost hunting.

khkddn

im glad you like the balance of silly and scary. sometimes i think it's veering a bit too much on the silly side tbh

Delphina

Oh yeah, I get that. Specifically comparing it to Paranatural, I feel like the silliness is less... dense, which still gives room for a lot of creepy ambiance, where Paranatural feels like a comedy story first and a dramatic horror distant second.

I think also there's a difference between wisecracks/goofs (which come from the teenage humans being teenage humans) and other kinds of humor (like the Diner Ghosts), and feeling out that balance so that both don't detract from the "whoa heck murdered people" vibe is tricky.

khkddn

My main worry in that respect is a reader gets to the murder parts and is like "what? this is a violent story??? where are the goofs" haha so if there's a noticeable creepy vibe that's good

RebelVampire

9) I think for now the supposed increased danger is fine, but I think that just means it's gonna build up. THey're gonna keep trying to go back to normal, only to have to finally blow up emotionally and accept maybe what they thought was normal wasnt normal. or that normal has changed. I think this is gonna put strain on all their relationships. Everyone will be frustrated with Theo's cowardice, Edith's strong headedness, and so forth. And I think at the end its gonna make them question all their friendships but inevitably strengthen it as they learn to bond over the danger and that working together is better than being alone. 10) like Delphina, im kind of hoping to see more of their lives outside of ghost hunting. i think itll be an interesting contrast that shows how their ghost hunting adventures are kind of crazy and such. but overall i think itll just reveal interesting stuff about the charas that may add context to stuff as their ghost hunting adventures continue.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Helsirvente this week! Please also give a special thank you to khkddn for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Helsirvente, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://helsirvente.webcomic.ws/

khkddn's Twitter: https://twitter.com/khkddn

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

-----

Chapter 5: Dave Is Just A Huge Flustered Mess

You were just finished updating your SBaHJ comics when you saw that your sister was pestering you.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: Hello, Dave.

TG: whats up rose

TT: I would like to invite you to go with me on an outing to a certain clothing store.

TG: for the last time i dont want to get a suit and theres nothing you can do to make me go TG: what do i even need a suit for TG: i never go anywhere fancy enough to warrant wearing a suit TG: theyre also uncomfortable as hell TG: all itchy and scratchy and constricting and shit

TT: You only think that because you’ve only worn cheap suits. TT: And besides, I can easily convince you to come with me.

TG: bullshit TG: there is absolutely nothing you could say or do that could possibly make me go with you TG: ill chain myself to the inside of my room TG: you cant possibly break the lock even if you had ten thousand locksmiths TG: theyre all going to be like TG: miss lalonde why are you trying so fucking hard to get this guy out of his room TG: why cant you just leave him alone TG: and youll go on this spiel about how i need a suit TG: theyll be ten thousand miles away in a goddamn flash TG: knowing that suits are awful as fuck TG: so no rose TG: there couldnt possibly be even a single thing that could make me move an inch to go with you to a store to get a suit

TT: It’s a very nice store. TT: There is a plethora of clothing items to chose from there. TT: There also happens to be a cute boy who works there.

TG: … TG: … TG: … TG: how cute TG: like are we talking astronomical levels of cute TG: like one wrong move could set my heart aflame TG: or is he passing a random stranger and giving them a spare glance cute

TT: He has messy hair, small horns, and he looks like he could be able to give you the best hugs imaginable.

TG: my bloodpusher is already in hyperdrive TG: where do i sign up TG: i mean TG: nope still not going TG: i refuse TG: no matter how cute that guy sounds TG: i absolutely refuse

TT: You’ll come with me eventually. TT: No matter how much I have to wear you down.

TG: wow way to sound super creepy TG: why are you even so insistent on me going to this store anyway TG: youve never been this insistant before TG: even pulled out the cute guy thing on me TG: i bet you just made up that guy to try and get me to come

TT: I assure you that he is, in fact, as real as you and me. TT: And why I am so insistent on you going is of none of your concern.

TG: is there a cute girl who works there and youre just using me as an excuse to see her again

TT: ...

TG: holy shit TG: you really do have a crush on her TG: whats her name TG: come on rose TG: you cant avoid the question forever TG: tell me tell me tell me tell me TG: at least tell me what she looks like good god TG: okay you got me TG: if you tell me her name and what she looks like i swear that i will go with you to the store TG: ill even let you get me a suit

TT: What do you swear on?

TG: i swear on the monkey paw in my dead things collection

TT: A dangerous item to swear on. TT: I’ll accept it. TT: The contract is sealed. My blood has been used to finalize it.

TG: goddamn it rose just tell me who your crush is

TT: As if you don’t ramble on for an even lengthier amount of time than I did. TT: But I suppose I will hold my side of our deal. TT: Her name is Kanaya, and she owns the store I was speaking about. TT: She, by far, has one of the best fashion senses I have ever seen. TT: She’s intelligent and can analyze with the best of them. TT: She’s extraordinarily well-read, and the theories she has are like nothing I’ve ever heard. TT: Her horns are like daggers, her hair like silk. I could only dream of her lifting me off into the sunset. TT: Oh. TT: I seem to have gotten a little bit carried away there.

TG: holy shit rose thats probably one of the gayest things ive read in a while

TT: Yes, well, prose aside, you are now obligated to go with me to the store Kanaya owns. TT: I get to see Kanaya again, and you get a suit. TT: I’m killing two birds with one stone. TT: Not only that, but you get to meet a cute troll.

TG: clearly the only upside TG: anyway what time is this place open TG: because i would like to get this over and done with as soon as possible

TT: Good. TT: I’ll come over to pick you up in twenty minutes.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You decide to edit one of your videos during that time, and soon you hear the ring of your doorbell.

Your get up to answer the door, and there is your sister looking more dressed up than usual.

“You’re dressed up. Trying to impress Kanaya?” You tease.

“Oh, silence. It’s not like you didn’t get dressed better than usual because I informed you that the boy working at the store was cute.”

“Okay, okay! Uncle! I admit it. I took five minutes of my time to look slightly better than normal, but at least I’m able to admit that.”

“I’m going to put the radio on.” Rose said, putting on obnoxious pop music that you both have heard a hundred times.

“If you don’t think I can easily talk over this poor excuse for good music then you have clearly underestimated my ability to ramble on for hours upon hours on end to even myself. There doesn’t even have to be anyone there. I’ll just be over here vomiting any stray thought I have out onto the ground where anyone can see it.Now I have to clean up all this fucking vomit on the floor because it's stinking up the room, and wow. I completely forgot where I was going with any of this.

“We’re here.” Rose suddenly commented.

You stared at her for a solid thirty seconds.

“You played me for a goddamn fool.” You finally say. Rose simply smirked all knowing like as the two of you got out the car.

The two of you went into the store, which, oddly enough, smelled a lot like rosemary.

The store was colorful and seemed to have nearly any article of clothing a person could want. There was also a sign that advised against licking the clothes, which reminded you of Terezi.

But, the moment your eyes wondered over to the register, your heart stopped. It stopped and then sped up to double time. You think you forgot to breathe.

You think what Rose told you wasn’t nearly enough to properly prepare you for how cute this troll was. Saying that he was astronomically cute was the most major understatement anyone could ever possibly make.

And Rose was pulling you toward him. Oh god, do you look okay? Would you even be able to talk to him? Come on, Dave. Take a deep breath. Be cool.

“Hello, Karkat.” Rose greeted.

“Hello, Miss Lalonde. What do you need?”

“Polite as ever, but you can just call me Rose. However, I did come here for more than just exchanging pleasantries. I would like to see Kanaya about getting my brother, Dave, here a suit.”

“Alright. I’ll go get her for you.” Karkat left and soon afterward an elegant looking woman came out with Karkat.

“If you’ll come with me, I can get you measured.” The woman said.

“Thank you.” Rose responded, and the two of you went to the back with Kanaya.

You can’t believe you’re being forced to get measured with your sister and Kanaya flirting up a storm. It was honestly extremely embarrassing.

At long last, you were done being measured, and you bolted out of the room after telling Rose that she could pick out whatever kind of suit she wants. This may or may not have been a good decision on your part, but you were just glad you didn’t have to see your sister make goo-goo eyes at Kanaya for another minute.

However, you were now back in the store part of the store where the cute guy was. You had no idea how to even begin interacting with him, so you decided to look through the store. To be fair, the clothes looked like they were really well made, so you ended up picking a few items that you genuinely wanted to buy.

When you began making your way to the register, you were revisited with the problem of how to talk to the cute boy there.

You were already going towards the counter, so it wasn’t like you could just go back and look through the store some more, so you resigned yourself to your death.

“Um, yeah, I’d like to buy this if you would be so kind. You know, because these clothes are actually super cool, and they seem really well made, not that I would know anything, but based on what my sister says about the store, the clothes are exactly as choice as I think they are. Clearly, they are the best clothes sold from here to the ends of the universe. That’s how fantastic they are, holy shit, you know? Oh, shit, I’m rambling a lot, aren’t I? I do that a lot, especially if I’m nervous. I swear I’m not actually nervous. You’re just really cute. Fuck. Okay, just forget I called you cute, not that you aren’t. You are extremely attractive and cute, and shit, I probably sound super creepy right now. I swear I didn’t mean to. I-”

You went quiet when he began to laugh. You just stood there in a dumbstruck silence while he laughed. Eventually, he stopped and spoke.

“Oh my god. When you came in here, I just thought you were some kind of insufferable prick, but you’re actually nervous, so I guess I thought wrong.”

You weren’t really able to respond due to being caught off guard by the laughter. The sound of footsteps came closer until the door was slammed open.

“I heard laughter, Karkat, what is it that you are laughing at?” Kanaya questioned.

“Did you just run over here because you heard me laugh?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you have a customer to work with?”

“Yes, but you do not genuinely laugh similarly to that quite nearly as often enough, so I decided to come over to where you were to find out what caused you to laugh so uproariously. However, all I see is Rose’s brother, who I have been informed has a very poor sense of humor that is based heavily in the art of irony.”

“Are you saying I’m not funny?” You finally manage to say something, and, of course, it isn’t even to the troll you were flustered over.

“Although I am incapable of being absolutely certain of the fact due to my not knowing you very well, but the way Rose described your humor left much to be desired.”

“Kanaya, you really should be getting back to talking to Rose.” Karkat said.

“All right, all right. But you will talk to me later, correct?”

“Of course I will.”

Kanaya left, and Karkat turned to face Dave.

“Wow. I can’t believe my own flesh and blood would betray me like this. What kind of sibling even tells someone else that her dear brother has a shitty sense of humor. And Kanaya over there just ripped me a fucking new one, holy shit.”

“Don’t worry about it. That’s just her sense of humor shining through.” Karkat responded. “Now could you please pay for the clothes you just bought?”

“Oh! Yeah, alright.” You fumble for your wallet and give him your credit card to pay for the items. He neatly puts them in a bag and hands them to you along with the receipt.

You take a moment to write your chumhandle down on the receipt, along with a little message saying to be sure to contact you.

Rose finally comes out of the room where Kanaya was.

“Are you ready to leave, Dave?”

“Hell fucking yeah, I am.”

Before the two of you leave, you ‘accidentally’ leave the receipt with Karkat, and you can hear him yelling at you once you leave the store.

“So, how was your meeting with Karkat?”

“Come one, Rose. You know I’m suave as shit. Smoother than butter, that’s what I say. People spread me and they’re like, ‘holy shit I can’t believe how fucking smooth this is.’ That’s how goddamned smooth I am and how I was.”

“Is that code for you becoming a flustered mess around any cute guy you meet?”

“Shut up.”

“Did you at least get his contact information or give him your own?” Rose questioned.

“Yeah, I wrote my chumhandle on the receipt and left it there. I have no idea if he will actually message me or anything. Probably not based on how much of a mess I was.”

“So that’s why he was yelling at us when we left. But you can try to hold on to some semblance of hope that he will willingly contact you.”

“I guess that’s better than nothing, but I am not going to expect much.”

  Once you got home, you got on the computer to pester Terezi.

 -- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

 TG: tz holy shit i need to tell you something

GC: WH4T 1S 1T D4V3?

TG: i just met this guy okay

TG: super cute and i even made him laugh like holy fuck

TG: and all i was doing was rambling on for forever like i usually do

TG: especially because he was extremely cute and my brain just couldnt compute with the cuteness

TG: and he just started laughing

TG: and then the owner of the fucking store came running to see what was so funny

TG: apparently he doesnt laugh much

TG: and then she insulted my sense of humor

TG: like why do you have to ripe on a dudes humor like that

GC: HOW B4D W4S TH3 BURN?

TG: it was so fucking bad

TG: had to get cold water poured on it immediately afterwards

TG: went to the hospital and i was on the emergency track

TG: thats how fucking bad it was

GC: 1 C4NT B3L1V3 SOM3ON3 4CTU4LLY D1D TH4T

TG: i know right

GC: BUT ON 4 S1D3 NOT3

GC: HOW CUT3 W4S TH3 BOY AND HOW MUCH OF 4 M3SS OF YOURS3LF D1D YOU M4K3?

TG: the guy was extremely cute

TG: massively cute

TG: so cute that im gonna have to look up synonyms of cute merely to give you the basic rundown of how cute he is

TG: endearing adorable lovable sweet lovely appealing engaging delightful dear darling winning winsome attractive pretty good looking handsome attractive gorgeous

TG: some of these dont really make sense but you get the idea

TG: this boys cuteness is nothing to be trifled with

GC: H3 SOUNDS D3L1C1OUS

GC: D1D YOU G3T H1S NUMB3R

GC: OR P3ST3RCHUM H4NDL3 OR TROLL H4NDL3

GC: WH4T3V3R H3 US3S

TG: i gave him my pesterchum handle but i dont even know if he will even bother messaging me

TG: or shit if he even uses pesterchum or trollian or whatever

GC: H3 PROBABLY DO3S

GC: MOST P3OPL3 DO B3C4US3 1TS E4SY TO US3

GC: 4ND 1 COULD NOT S33 WHY H3 WOULDNT W4NT TO CONT4CT YOU

GC: BOTH B3CAUS3 YOU 4R3 SUP3R COOL 4ND B3C4USE 1 4M BL1ND 4ND TH3R3FOR3 C4NT S33

TG: shit i guess youre right as always pyrope

GC: 1TS 4 SP3C14LTY OF M1N3 >:]

GC: B31NG R1GHT TH4T 1S

TG: solid facts are being brought up here

TG: completely frozen and strong enough to stay as a goddamned solid or however the fuck that works

TG: facts that cant even be disputed like at all

TG: because that would be just blasphemy

TG: anyway im kind of hungry so im going to go eat

TG: see ya tz

GC: SM3LL YOU L4T3R COOL K1D

 -- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

[solarpunksoftie]

Frantic (Too Deep)

Fandoms:

Thomas Sanders

Characters:

Anxiety Sanders Patton Sanders | Morality

Additional Tags:

Crying, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Hurt/Comfort, Wounds, Blood, seriously a lot of blood, this ones messy, this is what happens when you fuck up kids, Whump, gotta hurt the tired boi, it gets fluffy at the end, Self Loathing, Unreliable Narrator

Summary:

Anxiety thinks he's cut too deep. In a panic he runs to Dad for help.

A/N:

this is gonna get really trigger happy. this one is really bloody. read safely kids!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10967349

Anxiety bit the inside of his cheek as he slid the razor across his thigh for the dozenth time in the last five minutes. The blade had stopped hurting the way he had wanted it to about two cuts ago, but they still bled the same. He always took the numbness as a sign to stop. If he couldn't react to them to the correct degree, there was no telling what kind of damage he'd do.

Heaving a shaky sigh, Anxiety pulled his hand away to admire his handy work. Twelve lines criss-crossed across his right thigh, barely discernible under the pool of blood that was quickly growing tacky on his skin. He felt a wave of disgust at himself as usual. He wasn't sure why he even did this. It never made him feel better. you deserve it you're evil and cruel you should be punished punish yourself because no one else will

Gritting his teeth he dug his fingernails into the mess of cuts. He couldn't stop bleeding yet, he wasn't done yet, he deserved more. moremoremore He felt a ripple of satisfaction as the blood under his fingers went from tacky to slick again, followed once more by disgust.

what am i doing you deserve it i cant believe im doing this to myself there needs to be more i must have some serious issues one more cut cant hurt

one more

Anxiety readied his hand again. this is the last one tonight He bit his cheek as he pressed the razor into his skin. He didn't see new blood spring to the surface through all the blood already smeared across his leg, but he didn't have to. He knew what he was doing.

A loud bang from the hallway made him jump, his head whipping to his door. He sat frozen for a long second before he realized that had come from down the hall. its past midnight, logan and roman must've been up talking. princy probly slammed his door cuz he lost an argument as usual. Anxiety smirked at the prospect of the Royal trait losing a debate with Logan again, and turned back to his leg, only to bite back a shriek.

There was so much more blood than before, pooling, bubbling eagerly out of his skin.

my hand slipped oh god what have i done

His heart hammering in his throat, he lunged for the nearest absorbent material, a thick flannel, off his bed.

theres so much blood theres so much

His breath grew ragged as he pressed the shirt to his leg, watching the black fabric grow darker with blood until it was entirely soaked.

it wont stop why wont it stop

He looked frantically around his room, trying to remember how to care for serious bleeds. But healing wasn't his department. He had no idea.

oh my god im gonna bleed to death

He needed help. His stomach churned just at the thought of letting any of the others see him like this, but he was terrified. He was shaking and getting light headed and he couldn't tell if it was from panicking or blood loss. Probably blood loss; always better to assume the worst with an injury involved.

Anxiety's mind raced through who he could go to. He couldn't go to Logan because he was probably in a foul mood after his argument with Roman, and Anxiety didn't want to ruin his night further. Roman was the same, but Anxiety hadn't really considered him an option in the first place because you can't hope and dream a serious injury away. Roman would be useless no matter what. Thomas was out of the question as well. The host was already onto him, and if he went to Thomas now he'd just get an "I knew it" and he would be insufferably smug. So that left Dad.

Could he live with upsetting Patton with this? Patton was always so happy and sensitive and easily upset by the littlest things. What would showing him this even do to the sunny trait? itd horrify him hed be so devastated you cant do this to- His wound throbbed painfully, making him whimper and snapping him back to the urgency of his decision. i need help NOW

Swallowing his guilt, Anxiety pushed himself to his feet, biting down against a groan of pain as he put weight on his leg.

shit theres probably muscle damage and youre gonna be permanently disabled and everyones gonna know about this and theyll hate you

He stifled his breath in his hoodie sleeve as he limped silently from his room, making sure the coast was clear before pushing out into the hall. Morality was two doors down, he'd have to pass Logan to get there.

h es gonna hear you you need to be quieter dont disturb him DONT USE THE WALL FOR SUPPORT YOULL GET BLOOD ON IT just keep it together youre almost there

It felt like hours before he was at Patton's door, hesitating to knock even as he felt his pants soaking with blood. is this really worth bothering him ab-

The door swung open and Patton nearly crashed into Anxiety standing in the door. "Woah! Hey there kiddo! I was just gonna go down to the kitchen to get a midnight..." Patton's chipper demeanor faltered as he actually looked at the boy standing in front of him. He went white as a sheet. "...snack."

Anxiety's hair was disheveled, the bags under his eyes were darker than usual, and his expression was pinched in pain. Oh and he was covered in blood. There was so much blood. "Hey dad... sorry to bother you." Anxiety was shaking like a leaf and his voice was so small. As he spoke, a couple fat tears rolled down his cheeks. "I fucked up."

Patton instantly became serious. Without a word he stepped aside and guided Anxiety into his room, offering him the comfy arm chair he used for reading. Anxiety just stood and stared at the chair, eyes wide. He opened his mouth to protest but Patton held up a hand to silence him. "Son, sit in the chair. I can't help you if you're standing."

Anxiety hesitated a moment more before nodding and limping over to the chair to sink into its fluffy cushions. Any other time Anxiety would've fought to sit in this chair, but now he felt like he was just ruining it and it made him feel claustrophobic with how plush it was. Morality didn't even have to prompt him to remove his jeans before he was shimmying out of them, holding back from crying out in pain. The tears hadn't stopped flowing down his cheeks, and it was taking a surprising amount of effort to keep from erupting into full out sobbing.

While Anxiety had been fighting with his blood soaked skinny jeans, Morality had gone and produced a first aid kit and was kneeling in front of the chair. He was still white as a sheet, but he was keeping it together.

"Anxiety, how did this happen?"

There it was, the question Anxiety had known was coming the moment he even considered getting help. He swallowed thickly and stared at the wall. "I-I was, um, I did it. To myself. This was me." Shit his voice was shaking hard.

Patton blinked at the younger trait for a moment, brain momentarily short circuiting. "You mean you accidentally slipped with a knife in the kitchen? Cuz I've had some pretty close calls while opening packages and cutting potatoes, let me tell ya!" He smiled soothingly up at Anxiety as he swabbed the extra blood away from the wound, but it fell again when he saw him shake his head. "Were you working on one of those art projects? You know, the little models? I've seen Logan working on a couple of those and he's had to cut some pretty tough materials. Pretty easy to slip up."

Again, Anxiety shook his head. He couldn't look Morality in the eye, so he closed his before he could find his voice. "No, I did this. Intentionally. It was, um. It was on purpose." He swore inwardly as more tears spilled down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, dad." And the first broken sob finally forced its way through. "I didn't mean for it to be this deep, I didn't mean to do this." Anxiety pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes to try to stop the flow of tears as his body shook with more sobs. "Please don't tell the others. It was an accident."

Patton felt his heart break for the boy sitting in front of him. That Anxiety would ever resort to this was shattering news for the empathetic trait, but he swallowed it down. He had to help him through this. He leaned up and took one of Anxiety's hands away from his face, devastated that he thought he had to hide like this. Even when he was right in front of someone he was trying to hide.

"Look at me, son." Anxiety flicked his gaze to meet Patton's before it wandered away and back again. "You're gonna be just fine. I'm not mad at you, and I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. You're gonna be good as new in no time, alright?" He could feel the blood soaking through the gauze he was holding, but he kept his voice soft and his gaze sure until Anxiety nodded. "There ya go, kiddo." He smiled supportively up at the youngest trait before he set about properly staunching the bleeding.

It took a lot of gauze and an ace bandage to keep pressure before the wound stopped bleeding. Anxiety's jaw hurt from gritting his teeth to keep from crying out while pressure was applied, and now he was just tired. He hadn't stopped crying until the bleeding stopped and he felt secure that he was not, in fact, going to bleed to death in Morality's comfy chair.

Now Morality was cleaning himself up and trying to sort out what to say to the injured boy. The boy who called him Dad and was starting to fall asleep in his comfy recliner. The boy who threw insults and jabs as easily as Patton could roll out a pun. His head spun with guilt. How hadn't he noticed that Anxiety was so upset? It was probably his own optimistic nature that had blinded him to any problems. He looked back over at the dozing trait and frowned. He had to fix this.

"Anxiety?"

"Hmm?"

"You know you can come to me, right? About anything?"

Anxiety opened his eyes and looked over at Morality, confused. "Obviously. You're the one I came to, right?"

Morality tried not to grumble at the boy's obliviousness. "Yes you did, and I'm very glad you did. But, you can come to me even if it isn't an emergency. If you just wanna talk or hang out, I'm here. You know that right?"

Anxiety blinked at him a couple times before breaking eye contact. "Yeah, I know. Thanks Dad." The atmosphere had suddenly become too heavy for Anxiety's liking, and he started pushing himself up out of the chair before he felt a hand push him back down into the seat. He blinked at Morality as he lowered back into the cushions.

"I'd be more comfortable if you slept here tonight, Anxiety. You gave me a good scare." It was Patton's turn to avert his gaze this time. He didn't want to ask too much of Anxiety, but he'd be lying if he said he was ok leaving him alone tonight.

Thankfully, Anxiety understood, and simply nodded as he eased back in the chair. "Fair enough. So what's the plan then? Movie marathon?" Anxiety smirked slightly, meaning the suggestion as a joke, but Patton instantly lit up and ran to get a small collection of dog movies from the main room -they'd had a pretty ruff night. Anxiety sighed and let his eyes close. His leg was still throbbing painfully and he was exhausted and really wanted nothing more than to curl up in his own bed. But he understood that he had just scared the crap out of the headspace's father figure and he owed him at least peace of mind.

Anxiety was asleep by the time Patton returned.