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#i just don't believe that they didn't tell her that it was at least dangerous for her after the bird
malfiora · 2 days
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I'm rewriting Jason's resurrection and reconciliation with the fam for my own sanity:
Jason dies tragically and horrifically at age 15
A year later, Superboy Prime punches through universes, collapsing two realities onto each other: one where Jason dies, the other in which he survives. Jason comes back to life but is semi-conscious. Talia finds him and takes him to the League
Jason regains full consciousness after a dip in the Lazarus. For two years, Jason trains and slowly regains his memories. Once he's 18, he decides to return to Gotham, despite Talia's wishes
Quickly becomes clear that Gotham hasn't changed much, which disappoints Jason. He decides to put his League training to use and control crime as a harm reduction tactic, and he goes back and forth on contacting Bruce, especially after he hears rumors of a new Robin
Joker pops up with a new scheme, and this is the last straw. Jason concocts a plan to kidnap and finally kill Joker and confront Batman about all the ways he's failed him and Gotham. When Batman refuses to kill Joker, Jason feints like he's going to kill Tim to "save him the trouble" since Batman clearly cares so little for his sidekicks. ("Hey, kid, at least I'll make it painless.") This gets a reaction from Batman, who incapacitates Jason and rescues Robin. Jason retreats to lick his wounds and reconsider everything
Jason takes time to ruminate on all of this. He's still hurt that his death meant nothing in the grand scheme of things but thinks about Batman's reaction to Tim being in danger and has to wonder if that's how he acted when Jason was in that warehouse
Out of morbid curiosity and a little bit of fanboyishness, Tim monitors Jason. Jason knows this and eventually confronts him. He feels bad for scaring Tim but has to maintain his edge so he tries not to be too scary. At some point, Tim speaks his mind and tells Jason that he has no idea what things were like while he was dead. "Batman was a mess, he almost killed people. That's why I became Robin. I had to put him back together, so you don't get to act like you know everything that happened the past 3 years because you been back a couple months." Jason takes this in. They part ways. (Jason: "Don't die." Tim: "Don't change.")
The Chemo incident happens. Jason rushes to Blüdhaven to make sure Dick is alive and okay, thus revealing he's alive to the Titans. After the dust settles, he and Dick talk privately so that Dick can react properly. (Dick: "No, Batman didn't tell me." Jason: "Yeah, he has a habit of doing that.")
Jason gets to ask if Tim's claim of Batman being a mess is founded. It is. He asks Dick if it's worth doing things the same way. "It is." That doesn't help.
Eventually Jason and Bruce have their equivalent of a heart to heart. Basically they both go, "I love you even if I think you're wrong."
Jason forms the Outlaws, but the moment he gets the distress call from the fam, he comes rushing back to help. He's offended that Bruce is surprised (Tim is hopeful, Dick isn't remotely shocked)
When Dick "dies," Jay comes back to take his place as Eldest Son. He sticks around through the end of the Robin War
Other important events that definitely happen but just don't fit neatly into a timeline:
Barbara and Jason team up on a mission shortly after Bruce tells Barbara that Jason is back. She's happy and immediately falls into big sister/mother hen mode and chides him for not seeing her sooner and makes him promise to stop by the clocktower regardless of whatever is happening between him and Bruce. She promises to help him upgrade his tech if he does. (Barbara has always been more lenient with killers and believes wholly in second chances.)
Cass stops Jason from killing someone who "deserves it," resulting in them fighting. Cass is better trained but she refuses to kill Jason, who won't stop. Eventually, they call a ceasefire and talk a bit. "All life has meaning," Cass says. Jason scoffs. "Even the Joker's?" "All life," she insists. Jason quietly disagrees but he respects Cass's determination. This starts a back and forth of him testing her anytime they're grouped together. ("Even this lowlife, Cass?" or "She's worth your own life?" or "They wouldn't spare you, why bother?") Each and every time she sticks to her principles.
Jay and Steph grab food together after a patrol one night and bond over being the family outcasts (i.e. the ones Bruce doesn't implicitly trust). Jason vows to make Steph his Robin if he ever becomes Batman. She laughs but is secretly touched
***I can never decide what to do with Damian. On the one hand, it's hilarious if Jason knows about him and keeps quiet about it. On the other, I don't see why Jason wouldn't tell Bruce about Damian's existence. Maybe once he's on speaking terms with Bruce again, he does tell him about Damian, which then prompts Jason to encourage Talia to let Damian meet Bruce. This is accelerated by Talia discovering Ra's' plan for Damian and wanting to get Damian away from the League
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relicsongmel · 4 months
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POV: you're Dena and your favorite teacher is trying to cover up the fact she's fucking your mom
#mel's musings#forest for the tree#me everyday for the past 2 weeks: *wakes up in a cold sweat* jen x raifort toxic yuri.....jennifort......#she claims she's been staying up late doing research and investigating ruins. which yeah sure whatever#but i don't believe for a second she's not ALSO having nasty gay sex on the side. these lines had me REELING lmao#so here's my vision. jen is also a teacher at naranja academy in this au so she and raifort are coworkers#basically jen thinks she's sus af and is concerned about the fact her daughter seems to adore her (bc dena's super into myths and shit)#she gets SUPER pissed about her putting dena in danger with the treasures of ruin quest bc she perceives it as using her#and she voices her distaste about this (plus that of her teaching style in general) very openly#and this annoys raifort bc why is that so wrong if dena was 100% on board. also she has NO business telling her how best to teach#she tries to figure out how to retake control bc jen being wary is bad for the reputation she has to at least TRY to uphold @ the academy#and eventually she just thinks. “what if i seduced her about it lol"#and it actually WORKS. because jen is suuuper lonely w/ her husband gone and dena mostly living at school/traveling a lot#& raifort finds herself impressed w/ jen's knowledge of unovan AND johtonian legends (based on her upbringing and 1st marriage)#they didn't expect to get so attached. but they did & their mutual love for dena only adds to it (even if raifort won't admit to that hehe)#i have a LOT of feelings about her secretly having a softer side underneath all the sussy shit and how she becomes a mentor for dena#but i think i'll save that for another post bc i've already rambled here quite extensively#so yeah. the raifort brainworms are SUPER real rn can you tell. also yes i'm gay for her too is that even a question#mel plays scarvi#nsft
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werecreature-addicted · 4 months
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Ok, imagine this, werewolf is in love with his neighbor, a human girl, everything would be fine if it weren't for the fact that the girl is a single mother of a little boy, and I'm not saying this because it's a bad thing for a woman to be a single mother, I'm saying this because of their neighbors, the other human neighbors have the mistaken idea that werewolves are cruel to other men's children, even propagating the absurd idea that werewolves kill the children of other males when they are interested in the mother. Of course our werewolf would never do that, werewolves would never harm a woman's offspring, so he has to be very careful and almost transparent to be able to woo the girl without her thinking that he is a danger to her or his little son
he meets your child first. he's just trying to carry in groceries, all of them in one trip of course, when he hears a small "can I help?" he looks down and sees a human pup with big wide eyes and a missing front tooth. He'd known that knew people had moved in next door a little while ago but he didn't know they came with a kid.
"Sure," he says and hands the kid one bag to carry as they trek up the driveway. it's a short walk and he can easily do it himself, but the werewolf thinks the boy is cute, so young yet already helpful and determined to prove his strength. what a good pack leader he would be one day. the kid drops the bag by his door and then runs back to his yard to play. The werewolf had never paid much attention to his next-door neighbors but he would start now.
He meets you a few days later and wow. he's never met a human so pretty. you seem nervous, a little frazzled from the recent move, but sweet. he tells you about your son helping him with the groceries and offers to help you any time you need anything, just looking for an excuse to see you again.
And you do need his help a lot around the house. it's hard trying to do everything yourself especially when you're raising a little boy. Luckily your neighbor is always there whether it's to replace some shingles on your roof or just play with your son for a little so you can get five minutes to yourself. you won't lie, you do pick specific favors to ask of him. sure you could do your own yard work, but there's just something so sexy about a sweaty hard-working werewolf.
He's so sweet he almost instantly becomes a part of your life. You can tell he's interested in you, you're not an idiot, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't like him too. It's flattering to have someone clearly so into you even knowing you have a child.
You spend of late nights confiding in him and before you know it you start to think you're falling for him. then you happen to mention your blooming romance to one of your coworkers and they inform you, horrified, that if a werewolf is interested in a woman with a child they're known to kill the child so the mother can focus on raising the werewolf pups. The story chills you, you'd heard similar things about lions in the wild, and maybe it was true for all preditors.
you can't help but spiral a little bit, you've been leaving your baby alone with a hungry wolf. but... somehow you don't believe it. He had never shown himself to be violent or even anything but loving towards your son. and you knew he was closer to human than some wild animal. he wouldn't really do something like that, would he?
When you get home you're a little jumpy around your neighbor, which he notices. you don't let your son go over to his yard to play and you don't invite him over for dinner, which is odd, to say the least. but he doesn't push. You feel stupid, avoiding him like this, why should you be scared of someone who'd been nothing but kind?
you go out onto your porch that night and see him out looking up at the stars. when he hears you he waves you over.
"it's a pretty night," you comment sitting beside him, awkwardly.
"prettier with you here," he teases, you feel your face go hot and you have to look away, he laughs at your embarrassment. you're quiet for a long time before you finally bring up what was on your mind.
you don't come out and say "Hey are you going to murder my child to get closer to me?" but instead you ask him:
"you flirt with me a lot, but does it ever bother you that I have a child? does that make you hesitate to have a real relationship?" it's still blunt but it's not quite as accusatory.
"I've always wanted kids, I love your son, I'm not going to run because of it, I want you and you having a son doesn't change that," he assures you. A few months later you'll admit exactly what your coworker said, he was horrified you ever thought he'd be capable of hurting the boy he views as his son, and he tells you in no uncertain terms that he would die to protect the both of you. no harm is coming to either of you while he's here to protect his family.
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fanttasttica · 3 months
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Strawberry tarts
Rhysand x reader Living in the Autumn court isn't nice, especially if you are female. Arranged marriages are common, so it wasn't surprising it also happened to you. What of course caught you off guard is that your future husband is Rhysand, High lord of the Night court, who is probably the most dangerous man alive. You heard horror stories about him and his court, but are these stories true? Warnings: misogyny, arranged marriage Word count: 8690 (oops)
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Being the daughter of a nobleman in Autumn court wasn't something you would wish for. Truth to be told, it is quite the opposite actually. It is a common knowledge that when a female is born in this court, her only purpose in life is to be wed, often at a very young age. She is raised to dance, sing, entertain and obey her husband. She should do anything he wants, be his perfect little wife and of course, birth as many children, preferably boys, as possible. This is how your mother was raised and therefore, how you were raised. Your parents didn't love each other, a very few people in Autumn court loved their partners. And you knew.. maybe one? Two? It is maybe not that surprising that you no longer believed in love. It was better not to. So you could prevent being disappointed. The only thing you were slightly hoping for is for your husband to be at least a little kind to you and leave no marks on your body, unlike Beron, your High lord, did on his wife.
The feeling of accomplishment couldn't possibly miss your mother. In the end, she was marrying you off to Rhysand, High lord of the Night court. You still weren't sure how that happened. Your father was Beron's close friend, a very important member of his court. From what you were told, you understood that the High lord of night wanted to secure a peace between courts. In the past one engagement already happened, but wasn't successfully sealed in marriage. You heard stories about Morrigan and Eris, Beron's oldest son, an heir. Their story happened many years before you were even born and there still was some tension. Not wanting to risk another female from the Night court to change her mind, they probably decided to try it the opposite way and provide a female from the Autumn court from a man from the Night. And that man happened to be the High lord himself. 
Your wedding gown was modest. A little bit wider skirt, plain without anything to make it more interesting. Neckline up to the neck. White, symbol of purity. This dress was making you anxious. They were suffocating you, or maybe was it the thing they represented? Marriage. Today, you are going to marry probably the most dangerous man in Prythian. You are going to be his wife. His property. You were terrified of the unknown. If you were to be wed to some lord from your court, you would at least know how cruel they were, but about him.. You knew nothing other than his title and name. And that many people feared him. But was he really that bad? Were they telling you these stories because they wanted to warn you or just scared you into submission? Maybe he was secretly kind? You didn't know the answers to your question and you certainly weren't going to get them before you two would be married.
As you stood before the doors that were going to open in a matter of minutes and lead you to the new chapter of your life, you put a mask on your face. You were determined to not let them see your fear. “Don't mess anything up.” Your father hissed into your ear, as he stood beside you, ready to walk you down the aisle. “I won't”, you replied, trying to convince him and also yourself. You didn't have the chance to say anything more, not that you actually had something to say to your father, before the doors finally opened.
There were many guests, who were trying to get a better look at you and, while they stood on both sides as you walked down the aisle. Your heart was pounding fast in your chest and your head was ringing, but you forced yourself to walk forward. You avoided looking at your future husband until the last second, however, when your father finally let go of you and placed your hand into the other, warm one, you looked up and then.. your heart practically stopped. He was gorgeous. His purple eyes, shining like stars in the sky, were looking at you with kindness, as if they were trying to convince you that everything will be better from now on. And you really really wanted to believe them. 
The rest of the ceremony went quiet quickly. You said your vows and exchanged a kiss, well only on a cheek, which was a little bit disappointing but at the same time, it was a relief, because at the end, you didn't want to have your first real kiss in front of this massive audience. Now it was time for a party and that was actually nice. The attention of the guests turned from you to drinks, food, music and dance. You could breathe calmly for the first time today, even when your new husband was sitting next to you. He was so close you could feel his warmth, his scent and power that was radiating from him. Surprisingly, it wasn't scaring you at all. You should be scared of it, of him, that is for sure, but still.. you weren't and ironically, that was something that was scaring you a little bit. “You should eat something”, a velvet voice came from your husband, as you turned to look at him. “Are you not hungry? It is.. a long time since breakfast and of course the ceremony.. Or if you don't like this, I Can arrange something else for you. Whatever you would like.” Looking down on your untouched plate, touched by his kind offer, you decided to speak to him, for the first time. Wel.. for the first time since the ceremony, during which you promised him our loyalty and obedience. “No, but thank you, this.. will do.” You smiled, feeling a little bit shy, as you took your first bite. Citrus roasted duck with crispy potatoes, it wasn't that bad and it was true you should eat, as Rhys said, but your appetite was greatly affected by your nerves. You ate about a third of your plate, before putting your fork and knife down again, still feeling his eyes on you. “That is all?” he sounded surprised, but you only shrugged in response. “I am not that hungry today”, meeting his eyes. There was a hint of understanding. “Perhaps tomorrow I can take you to some restaurant in Velaris. To.. try something new, eat properly. Don't worry, I know what is good” as he flashed his smile at you, you were a little bit confused. “Velaris? What is that?” You never heard of it. Was it some restaurant? He replied simply, “Your new home.”
After hearing those awful things about your husband, you never expected his home to be so.. beautiful. No, magical is actually a better word. You heard about some place called Hewn city. It was described like a dark unwelcoming place, but this was quite the opposite. This city, Velaris, seemed peaceful, full of the happiness of its citizens. After winnowing, Rhysand, as he insisted you to call him, instead of My lord, brought you to this room. Your new room in your new home. It was.. strange to not be in your family's house. Knowing that if you were to go down into the living room, they wouldn't be there. Instead, there would be a bunch of a little bit scary and tall,well.. except Amren, people you knew almost nothing about. As Rhysand told you, many of them were not actually living there, but sometimes it looked like they did and since you didn't know what to think about it, you decided simply not to. Instead, you took a bath, with bubbles in it. Know you smelled like lavenders, while you brushed your hair, looking in the mirror and waiting for Rhysand. As your mother told you the night before, he was supposed to come and make you a women, whatever that meant. Your lack of knowledge wasn't helping to calm down your nerves, as you waited for him. But he never came that night. When you woke up the next day, the sun was already in the sky and birds were singing outside your window. It seemed like a nice morning, calm, until you heard someone almost shouting down in the gardens. To cover yourself up, you took a prepared robe, lying on a chair next to your king sized bet. Maybe you should not have been so curious, but wanting to know what was happening, brought you to a smaller balcony, which was connected to your room. Leaning to a railing, so you could see what was going on, you saw two mens and one woman. Now, actually sawing them, you recognized them immediately. They were at the wedding yesterday, High lords closest friends, his Inner circle. “I am deeply sorry if they woke you up, I told them to wait repeatedly, but.. they are too stubborn.” That velvet voice once again, like music to your ears, brought your attention to the left, where you saw another small balcony. There was a table, two chairs, one currently occupied by the High lord himself. He was drinking coffee, looking at you with a little smile. “It is okay. It's time to wake up anyways.” You didn't mind. “Maybe, but I wanted you to sleep in a little bit. Yesterday was a big day. Only if someone would listen to me for once and not ignore everything I say in my own court.” He raised his words at the end of his sentence, clearly talking to the group below. “Oh common Rhysie, this isn't fair. We only wanted to finally meet your beautiful wife, since you decided yesterday to only keep her for yourself.” The general's voice was provocative, which was new for you. Beron wouldn't tolerate it, however innocently it sounded. “Yeah, that wasn't very nice, Rhys.” That female, Morrigan, said with a grin on her face. The third one, Azriel, turned his attention immediately towards you, ignoring how his friends were taunting your husband.. “It is a pleasure to meet you.” He said with a hint of encouraging smile in his eyes. “The pleasure is all mine. It is nice to meet you. All of you.” You smiled politely, looking from Azriel, to Morrigan and lastly Cassian.              ��    
After freshening your face and dressing up in a nice and elegant dress, you decided to be brave and go downstairs to eat breakfast. You were quite hungry, understandably, since you didn't eat that much yesterday. And you also wanted to get to know the others a little bit more. After your earlier encounter, it was more than clear that they weren't leaving, until they had the chance to speak to you first. 
Walking in the hall and to the dining room was easy, thanks to the cauldron and you also had time to look around a house a little bit more. It was elegant here, the furniture looked really expensive. There were some portraits hanging. On the first one you saw, there was a whole Inner circle, then Rhysand with a crown on his head, you suspected it was painted on the day or day after he became High lord, and next to you, there was a portrait of two women. One looked solder, barely off age and the other one was clearly her mother. Although you never met them and couldn't remember their names, you recognized some similarities in their faces and Rhysand's. “My mother and sister..” Rhysand appeared next to you in a second you were absently looking at the two womens. “It is a pity they aren't here to meet you. My sister always wanted another sister, so they could make fun of me together and I am sure my mother would love you as if you were her actual daughter.” A little bit surprised at his statement, you looked at his handsome face. “How can you know? We barely.. know each other and those are some strong words.” There was a hint of mistrust in your voice. “I just know..” 
The breakfast was delicious and others seemed really nice and friendly, which caught you off guard once again. Cassian, however scary he could appear, was one of the funniest people in the world, telling jokes and stories about everyone in the room and what they experienced together in all those centuries. Morrigan was the person who matched his personality perfectly. Although you didn't expect them to be like this, you were actually having a nice time. It was so different from the breakfast you usually had at home. Azriel along with Amren were a little bit quieter, but still friendly towards you and they tried to make you feel welcome. And Rhysand.. Actually you weren't sure what to think of him. After your little chat in the hall, you came to breakfast together and he helped you sit by pushing your chair. He was behaving like a true gentleman, completely opposite to what they told you in Autumn court. You were pulled to reality from thinking by Morrigan. “Y/N you simply must come with me today. I plan to go shopping. I need some new dress and you definitely too, because females just can not have enough dresses. And after that we can maybe go to this little bakery, they have the best sweets.” She was trying to persuade you to accompany her. You smiled at her, touched that she wanted to spend more time with you. Maybe she was going to be your first friend here? Well officially. Unofficially you started liking them all. “Well, I would like to join you,” you said truthfully, “If it's okay, of course?” You added as you looked over your husband, whose purple eyes were watching you. “Of course it is okay. You are free to do whatever your heart decides. Buy everything you need or simply want.” He smiled at you, looking over at Morrigan. “I am sure my cousin will more than happily be at your assistance,  especially, I will be paying.”
“Morrigan, I just do not need so many things. This is getting really absurd.” You said after trying on maybe ten dresses. And many skirts and pants before. Yes, you could wear pants here. Another shock for you, since this was unacceptable in your home court. “Oh my dear friend, we barely started. I know you have many dresses from Autumn court, but now you are in the Night court. You need to look like it and more importantly, you need to feel comfortable. So now hush and tell me the truth. Do you really like to wear something like this? Or you simply were taught you have to wear clothes like this, although you do not like how it looks or how comfortable it is?” You knew from her face that lying wasn't the opportunity, so you sighed. “It.. doesn't really feel like me and.. it is not comfortable that much.” However simple it sounded, this was a big step for you, since you were always taught to not complain about anything, not having your own opinion. And something in Morrigan's face told you, she was having the same thoughts as you. 
Leaving with three bags in each hand, you finally left the store. The amount of money you left there was enormous, but Morrigan was assuring you, Rhysnad wouldn't mind, so you decided to believe her and relax a little bit. Well, you surely made the owner happy and your closet fuller. You went to the bakery and bought a delicious strawberry tart, your favorite treat, and now you were just walking around the city, enjoying the sunny day and your new blossoming friendship. “It was an amazing day Morrigan, I am very thankful for you. It means a lot that you are so .. friendly to me.” You said a little bit shyly. “Oh Y/N.. It's been my pleasure. You are Rhysand's wife, one of us. My new friend. But don't you dare to think this day is over, we have one more shop we need to visit.” Her eyes sparkled in mischief. Only if you knew what was coming.
“Oh you can not mean this seriously!” You gasped, horrified, while looking at the next shop your friend picked. It was highly inappropriate for you to visit a place like this. “Oh, but I mean. Don't worry, you will be thanking me one day.” 
Your day with Morrigan was fun, but the next day, you wanted nothing more than to stay in bed. Your feets were hurting, your head was hurting. You felt like she talked the hole in it. But inside you knew, you would be very happy if she would take you out soon again. And you also knew that if you really were to stay in your bed all day, you would be bored out of your mind after an hour. You need something to focus on, something to do. And then you remembered the strawberry tarts you had yesterday. Not wanting to go to the city, you decided to bake them on your own today. Fortunately, you knew the receipt already by your heart and in the kitchen was everything you needed. Nuala and Cerridwen, twins you met for the first time today, offered to bake that treat for you, but after some persuading, they agreed to only help you a little bit and let you roam in the kitchen mostly as you pleased. 
The two females, who were accompanying you, were quiet and shy, choosing their words wisely. THe time you spent with them was like a silent dance, but not uncomfortable. It was rather peaceful and warm, almost like in home you never had but dreamed about having, when you were little. You were actually finishing the last one, when you heard a loud and funny voice that belonged to no one else than Cassian. “You are a lucky one Rhys. What would I do to have a beautiful wife like you, who also cooks, so the whole house smells nicely.” You blushed at his comment, not meeting any of their eyes. “For that complement, I think you deserve to have the first one to try it.” You said, taking the plate and placing the tart on it, along with a small spoon and handing it to him. You made enough tarts for all of them, wanting to only kill the time, but also make something nice, since they welcomed you with open arms. While Rhys said nothing, he was smiling at you, eyes shining adoringly, which caused you to blushed even more than before. “It is delicious, can I have one or two more?” Too busy looking at your husband, you didn't even notice that Cassian already managed to eat his first portion.
Instead of one or two more strawberry tarts, Cassian ate five in a few minutes. Looking at him surprised with Rhysand standing next to you, almost brushing his arm on you, he said “Cassian has a great appetite. I believe he would eat everything you made today, if he was allowed”, sounding amused. You giggled at this comment, meeting his gaze. “Are you speaking from personal experience?” He chuckled “I already spent many centuries with him.. Believe me when I say that feeding Cassian is pricey.” Cassian, not able to speak while having mouth full, gave his friend a middle finger. During your conversation with Rhysand, you took another plate and placed another tart there, offering it to Rhysand. “If that is the case, I think you should try it before Cassian eats it.” You saw the hesitation in his eyes, that went from your face to the plate and back. You chuckled a little bit nervously and your smile fell instantly, when he shook his head. “No, thank you. I.. don't have time. Perhaps some other day. I have to go now.” And with that, he simply vanished into the darkness. 
Rhysand's sudden departure left you hurt and sad. Was something you said wrong? Was he not a fan of sweets? Was he allergic and you offended him because you didn't know? You blinked once, twice, before putting the plate on the kitchen counter. “That was.. weird.” Cassian spoke suddenly. You did not reply to him, thinking only about your conversation with Rhysand and blaming yourself for doing something wrong, although you didn't know what. But you were sure that your mother would be disappointed by this. You could almost hear her voice. “ Y/N?” You turned to Cassian. “You did nothing wrong, trust me. I don't really know what happened, but I promise you, he will come to his senses and apologize. Hopefully really soon.” You still weren't so sure about that and your mood wasn't so much better, but you offered him a smile, thankful for his kind words. “Here, take this plate too..”
You spent the previous day in the kitchen, cleaning, although Nuala and Cerridwenn insisted they would do it by themselves, you wanted to help. Cassian kept you company for the rest of the day, taking you to the gardens, telling you more stories about everyone in the inner circle, before taking you to your bedroom. He did manage to lighten your mood a little bit, so when you went to bed, no sad thoughts about Rhysand came, only sweet dreams.
The second time in a row, there was a present on your bedside table, when you woke up. Yesterday, you thought that Morrigan left there for you a beautiful necklace with a moonstone in it, you saw through the glass in one jewelry store which you based on on your walk. Morrigan was trying to persuade you to buy it, but it seemed so pricey that you decided not to. You already spent so much of Rhysands money.. But now you suspected that perhaps you were wrong by guessing it was her, who bought it. No, you knew you were wrong, since today you found a plate with different delicious looking sweets on your table, alongside with a note. 
“I know this apology isn't enough and that you also deserve an explanation, why did I leave yesterday so suddenly, but I can not give you that yet. I hope you understand and I promise you.. You did nothing wrong. - yours Rhys ” 
After reading that note from Rhysand and eating what he sent you, you felt a little bit better. You were not angry at him, rather at yourself, still not knowing what you did was frustrating. Nuala and Cerridwen were busy and since you couldn't find anyone else, you just wandered around a house, trying to find something to do. You were not in the mood to bake like yesterday, you did not have any work you could do. There was only you and your thoughts. About how your life changed, surprisingly to the better, about your new friends.. about Rhysand. You were thinking especially about him and your friends, Cassian and Morrigan. Did they report your conversation to him? After reading that note for the second time, you saw a similar formulation of words like Cassian used the previous day. It was weird. You were dying to know what that meant, but you were too shy and embarrassed to ask anyone. Another reason why you needed to find something to do. Otherwise, you would probably go crazy because of these thoughts that plague your mind. 
After another few minutes, you found a small library. At first, you hesitated a little bit, but since the doors were unlocked, you went inside. There were mainly books about the history of Prythian, courts, High lords of current and past time, books on wars and tactics, but in the small corner, you found a small shelf with maybe ten or twenty romance books. Your mother did not allow you to read them. The only ones you were allowed to read were about good behavior, what it takes to be a good wife and similar topics and after some time, when you slowly began realizing that true love will probably never be something you are going to have, you stopped begging her to let you read at least one of them, so you could see how it looks between man and women who love each other truly. But now, with your new freedom and with a new glimmer of hope inside your chest, you picked the first one, sat in the chair that was standing next to a window and began to read.
The time was passing rather quickly. You were almost in the middle of the story and not paying attention to your surroundings, when you heard someone unintentionally hitting the table and then cursing slightly. You turned quickly, shocked by this interruption, to find Azriel. “Are you okay?” You asked worriedly, as he turned his attention to you. “Yeah, ehm.. Don't worry. I am fine.” You raised your eyebrow, not quite believing him, since he was Spymaster, known for being stealthy and composed.. Nothing like now.  That is when you realize he is holding something in his hands. Book. He sees where your eyes are and smiles slightly. “I guess there is no hiding anymore. I am.. returning this.” He says, coming to the shelf where you took the book and placing it on its right place. You giggle a little. “If it helps you to feel better, you are the last one I would suspect of reading romantic books. I guess you should never really judge the book by its cover.” He nods, sitting on the next free chair in front of you. “I think very few people would dare to even think that I like reading these. But sometimes..” He fell silent and you smiled knowingly. “It is nice to read about true love and dream that maybe someday it will also come to you.” 
It did not surprise you, when the next day when you woke up, you found a brand new book on your bedside table, alongside with a note. 
“I hope you will like this one, although I am not an expert in this field, it's apparently very popular. I would also like to take you to dinner tonight, of course only if you want to and will not be in too much exciting part of your book. - yours Rhys”
Of course you did say yes to his invitation. It would be rude if not and also against everything your mother taught you. And what is more important, you wanted to go. After all, he was your husband, you wanted to get to know him better. What did you even know about him? That he was Hugh lord, lived in Velaris, he loves his friends and is kind. And maybe does not like strawberry tarts, but that is everything You wanted to know more. What he liked, what he did not like, his hobbies.. Everything. Anything. Anything he was willing to share with you. 
Your mind was once again full of him. Not being able to concentrate and not sure what to even wear, you were more than happy to meet Morrigan at the breakfast. It was only the two of you, a perfect opportunity to ask her to help you prepare for tonight. She agreed, happy, that you asked her and was currently styling your hair. “Don't you think it is too much?” You asked hesitantly. She made you wear a purple dress, a color that matched your husband's eyes perfectly. And it also went really well with that necklace he gave you a couple of days ago. “Not at all, I think you look perfect. Rhys will not be able to take his eyes off you.” There was a slight hint of provocation in her voice, which made your cheeks turn bright red. “Anddd, I am done. You look stunning Y/N!” As you looked in the mirror, you started to believe her.
You were waiting in your room, talking with Morrigan, when you heard a knock on your door. Not wasting any time, you went to open them to relieve Rhys standing here, dressed in a suit that matched your dress and with a bouquet of colorful flowers in his hands.”Hello, Y/N darling.” There was a smirk on his face, so significant for him. “Hello.” You answered, looking down at the flowers he handed to you. “For you. Their beauty is nothing compared to yours, but I still hope you will find them at least a little beautiful.” You blushed at his comment, starting to hate how easily he can affect you. “Thank you, they are really beautiful. Perfect.” You took them, smelling their sweet scent, before Morrian came closer and offered to put them in a vase, before turning to face Rhys with a grin on her face. “Make sure she is home before midnight.”
Still chuckling a little bit at Morrigan's last comment, you took Rhysand's hand he offered you and stepped outside your beautiful home into the night. It was perfect. The weather was amazing and the streets you walked through smelled of lemon, sea and mystery. “After everything you have done for me, especially for those gifts.. I think that I should be the one inviting you tonight.” You said, starting a quick conversation before you would get too nervous or better say aroused due to how close he was. You could feel his warmth and smell his undoubtedly expensive cologne. He chuckled slightly, “Oh my darling, don't you ever think about that. You deserve those things. You deserve everything you could possibly want and I will spend my life ensuring that, as I promised you at our wedding.” He reminded you and you shook your head, not understanding, how could anyone think of him as a cruel person. “You.. exaggerate. Not wanting to give up so easily, you decided to speak. “I will be honest.. Before we got married, I was worried. However, after you took me here and I had a chance to get to know you better and of course, your friends too.. I think.. I think I really like it here. You made me feel welcome and happy more than I was ever before in my life.” You said, looking at the ground. Maybe a little bit ashamed. After all, your mother said that no perfect woman would ever complain and although you didn't directly, you indicated it quite clearly. “So, what I wanted to tell you is that I am really grateful. For your gifts, for.. everything” You looked him in the eyes, smiling slightly. At first, he didn't say anything, there was a pity in his eyes and what you didn't see was that inside he was fuming and wanted to punish everyone in the Autumn court. But not to scare you, he simply took your hand and kissed it gently. “You are welcome, my darling.”
When you came to the restaurant, after a short walk through the city, which you enjoyed, you found the place completely empty, well except for people who worked here, of course. Giving Rhysand a questioning look, he answered immediately “I wanted us to have privacy.” He shrugged, as if it was nothing and you blinked at him. “Try to tell me ever again, that you do not exaggerate.” You mumbled to yourself quietly. 
You were full. After the appetizer, soup and main course, you felt like moving wasn't an option for you anymore. When the waiter asked, if you wanted a dessert, you looked over at Rhys. In your eyes, there was an obvious answer to this question - no. But he chuckled. “Yes please, bring us two pieces of your lemon and lavender cake.” Taking a sip of your wine, you sighed. “A new information for me.. You don't understand signals very well.” He simply leaned back on a chair with a smirk on his handsome face. “Oh, but I do. What I however can not do is leave this restaurant without you trying their best dessert. Everyone loves it.” You raised your eyebrow. “You do too?” He nodded, now leaning a little bit closer to you. “About that day when I.. left so suddenly.” He paused, unsure what to say, but you didn't pressure and gave him time. “It is okay, if you don't want to share it with me. I understand.” There was a hesitant smile on your face and in your mind, you were screaming the opposite words that left your mouth. He shook his head. “I do. I want to share it with you, but.. I think that for a while it is better not to. You are still new here and are only settling in your new home. I don't want to overwhelm you.” You nodded, trying to be as understanding as possible, before the waiter came and handed you your piece of cake.
“Are you full?” Rhys asked for about a second time since you left the restaurant and you just laughed. “Yes, I am full, don't worry.“ You assured him, squeezing his hand a little bit. You had a great time with him and it was sad that your night was coming to an end. During this time, you also became more relaxed around him. Someone who wouldn't know you and saw you walking with him in the streets right now, wouldn't probably guess the situation you were in. It seemed real. This.. something, what became growing between you. “I'm just making sure.” He shrugged, at the same time as you thought something about mother hen. “Do you want to go flying?” He asked suddenly, catching you off guard. “Flying?” You asked. He smiled and within seconds, large wings appeared on his back. You gasped in astonishment. “They are beautiful..” Your voice was low. Wanting to feel them underneath your fingers, you reached out to them, but he stopped you. Gently taking your hand in his bigger one. “Ehm.. They are quite sensitive.” He tried to explain. “Oh, I am sorry, I didn't want to hurt you!” Your eyes widened, apologizing. “No, you wouldn't hurt me. It is only when something touches Illyrian wings.. That person can become aroused.” At this moment, you wanted to sink into the ground more than ever before. 
Although you were embarrassed, you still agreed to fly, wanting to see the city from above. As your husband took you in his arms, your heart started beating faster than usual.  You wanted to sink into his touch. Smell his perfume, do something you never did before. You weren't sure what it was. This feeling was new for you. But you were enjoying it. “Hold on tight.” Rhys said, moments before he finally took you in the sky. His sudden movement makes you close your eyes, but his movement becomes steady, you open them, taking in the beauty of the city below. It was perfect. This night, Rhysand. Everything. This night was everything. 
You spent the next few days with your husband. From that night he took you to dinner, you found yourself yearning for his company. At first, you were a little hesitant, not wanting to disturb him with your presence. After all, he was High lord with responsibilities. But he seemed to enjoy your company as much as you did his, so when he one day took you to his office, there was a new set of comfortable sofa and armchair, next to a window. Perfect place for reading you began to enjoy. From that day, you went to his after breakfast regularly. Sometimes you two were talking, other days on the other hand, you spent this time in a comfortable silence. Eating lunch together also became some sort of habit of yours. Slightly different were evenings. You once again went shopping with Morrigan, who was very curious about your relationship with her cousin. Sometimes you spend your evenings with Cassian or the whole Inner circle, sitting, talking and drinking Rhysands expensive old wine, while sitting close to him. This was also your plan for this evening, until Morrigan decided that it is time for you to visit Rita's. 
Since Morrigan did a really good job by picking your dress for your dinner date with Rhys, you decided to trust her also this time, but seeing what she prepared for you to wear, you began asking her sanity. This dress were.. interesting. They were black and like the night sky they sparkled. As if there were tiny little stars. And they also were very short, which was new for you. Although you did started dressing differently than in the Autumn court, you even tried pants and really liked them, but.. The only thing that was calming you down was that she was wearing a dress of similar length, only in red and with a deeper neckline. “If you were not Rhys's wife, I can guarantee you Y/N, that I would do anything to take you home with me tonight.” You blushed and laughed and the same time. “I mean it, you look sexy! Where were you hiding that ass, girl?” You shook your head. “Morrigan, tell me the truth. Are you drunk already?” You raised your eyebrow at her and she grinned in response. “Me? Drunk? Always.”
The plan was to get ready with Morr and meet guys and Amren at Rita's. You were shocked that Amren even agreed on going. Although you were in Velaris a couple of weeks already, you barely spoke to her. But Morrigan assured you, that is how Amren simply is and so you never questioned it again. When you arrived, the place was full. There was a body on body, people were dancing, drinking and singing, alongside with a singer on a little stage. If you were not holding Morrigan's hand for your dear life, you would probably get lost and never be found again. Luckily, you managed to find the others rather quickly. They were sitting at the table in the corner, not so far away from the dance floor, already with some drinks. “Look who finally decided to show up.” Cassian greeted you with a sneering remark on which Morrigan replied by giving him a middle finger, which was normal for them, as you found out some time ago. “Oh shut up, Cass. Maybe you should sometimes be late and at least try to take care of your appearance.” You began ignoring these two, since their bickering would probably last all night. You rather said hello to the other three people who were sitting here, Amren, Azriel and lastly Rhysand. You felt his eyes on you from the second you showed up here and you knew that you would be staring at him all night probably too. He was wearing black. The buttons of his shirt were open, so you could see part of his muscular chest. “Hello darling, you look ravishing.” He smirked at you hungrily.
You were having your third drink. Normally you would take one, beautiful you were to survive this night, you needed more. It was just too much. People were almost having sex right on the floor, music was so sensual and Rhys.. His normal gentleman's behavior probably stayed at home today. His large warm hand was on your exposed thigh, striking it gently, each time going a little bit more up. As the time passed by, Morrigan went dancing with some girl she met at the bar, when she was going for her second glass of wine. Cassian disappeared to the dance floor and Amren was having a conversation with Azriel. That left you and Rhysand practically alone, not that you were complaining. You were only still rather shy for this. The band started playing some slow music, giving the dancers an opportunity to slow down their rhythm and enjoy each other's touches more intensely. That is when Rhysand leaned closer to you, whispering in your ear. “Would you like to dance?” The way his breath brushed lightly against your neck gave you goosebumps, but you still nodded slowly.
When you took Rhysand's hand, he led you on a dance floor. Some people around you probably recognized him, since they tried to give you more space, but there still were many people around you, not that you were paying them any attention. No. You had eyes for only one person and that person was your husband, who was holding you close. His arms were around your waist as you moved slowly on the floor, grinding at each other like fools. If you would look back on your table, you would be able to see that both Cassian and Morrigan returned and all of your new friends were currently toasting, pleased with how things had turned out between the two of you, perhaps thanks to their efforts. 
Not being able to hold back anymore, you looked from Rhysand's eyes on his lips, biting yours. It was a simple invitation for him. The one he gladly accepted, as he firstly gently stroked your lip with his thumb, before slowly leaning to you, giving you time to change your mind, before he finally brought your lips together in a slow, long wanted kiss. It lasted maybe a couple of seconds, but it was enough for the mating bond to snap for you. Like a golden thread it led straight to Rhysand and when you looked him surprised in the eyes, you knew, you felt, that this wasn't something new for him. 
As the first hint of hurt and sadness appeared in your eyes, the sudden wave of darkness surrounded you and carried the two of you home. The first thing you did was to take a step back, trying to get away from him. “Why? Why didn't you tell me this before?” He sighed, looking down at the floor. “I didn't want to overwhelm you or scare you. I thought it was better to not tell you anything for some time. “ He started, not so good. “How long did you know?” You asked quietly, wanting to know something more before deciding what to say to him. “A little bit more than. Almost two years.” You gasped. Hurt by him sat on the chair, refusing to look at him. “All my life, someone.. Someone else always decided what was good for me. What I should know, what not. When we were getting married, I thought that.. It will be the same with you, but during these last weeks you were.. So kind to me that I really started believing I can trust you, but now? I.. I don't know. You knew you were my mate for so long and you did not tell me? Why? What did I do to offend you so much? Am I not good enough?” He began shaking his head rapidly, kneeling before you and taking your hands in his. “No, no that's not it. You are perfect, believe me. You are everything I ever wanted, what I dreamed of.” Releasing breath, with teary eyes, you looked at him. “Then tell me.. How exactly did you find out, so you decided it was better for me to not know?” 
The room was silenced, as Rhys poured himself a drink. He offered you one, but you refused it. You already had enough today and you wanted to concentrate on what is he saying.  He took a deep breath before beginning. “I was in the Autumn court, trying to sort out some problems Beron had at that time. He held a ball, where I was invited, maybe you remember it.” You nodded, only for confirmation that you did. “The ball was just beginning, when I saw you enter with your parents by your side. I remember our eyes met, only for a brief moment, but in that moment, the bond snapped for me, but clearly not for you.. That same night I began to plan. I asked Azriel if he could find out as many information about you and your family as he could and in the morning, he already handed me a whole file about you. I learned your name and about your situation. Considering how many people in Autumn court behave, for me it was not surprising that your parents were not so.. good people. You were so young, you are still young and your father was already trying to find a partner for you, so he could marry you off for his gain. I knew that I could not let that happen. Not only because of my personal interest, but because most males in Autumn court abuse their partners and see their wifes only as breeding mare.” There was a disgust in his voice. “So I immediately came to Beron and proposed the idea of marriage between our two courts. Trying to win him on my side, I said I wanted to fix how last time something like this was about to happen but it did not, affected relationship between our courts. I told him he could even pick a list of some suitable girls, hoping you would be there, since Beron was close to your father. Well he agreed and also luckily for me, included you on that list. I tried to not be too eager to marry you, because I did not want to cause any suspicion. So I waited a few weeks before choosing. Then some paper work was needed and it took time before the wedding planning could finally began. I wanted nothing more than to go to your house and just took you with me to get you out of that place, but I was worried that I would put you in danger. Beron is awful, I believe I don't have to explain it to you.That is also why I didn't tell you before. Why didn't I engage in anything.” You nodded, understanding what he did and you were thankful to him, but it still hurt a little. “But why didn't you tell me anything after I came here?” You dared to ask. He swallowed nervously. “You were so young and you were already going through a lot. I knew you were probably scared of me, scared of this place at first. Maybe my decision wasn't so right as I thought it was, but please believe me that I did it with only the best intentions.” 
You knew Rhysand probably really didn't mean to do anything bad by his decisions, but you still had a right to be hurt and disappointed. It's been two days since the revelation and you spent them in your room. Nuala and Cerridwen brought you each food. Morrigan, Cassian and Azriel also visited you, telling you that they understand why you are angry with Rhysand. You also found out that although you thought otherwise, they didn't know about the bond. They suspected it, yes, but he didn't tell them anything. They found out after you didn't show up at breakfast the day after you went together to Rita's. They of course saw you disappear with Rhys, but thought it was for other purposes. You thanked them for their words of support and their visits and also begged them not to tell Rhysand anything, which they promised. You deep inside knew that you would forgive him and move on. He was not only your mate, but also your husband. Husband you began to love, which you realized after your argument. 
Your love for him is also one of the factors that drove you mad. You stopped believing that love existed. You felt like a fool that you, after everything that you have been taught, after what you saw, after everything you have been through.. You did in fact fell in love. You were so confused, about your feelings, what you thought you should feel, what happened.. That you welcomed knocking on your door gratefully. 
You would never suspect that behind the door, there would be Amren standing, asking if she could come inside to talk to you. You of course led her, closing the door behind her, gesturing on chairs where she can sit, while you returned to your soft bed. “Girl, I am probably not the person to tell you this, but I think you need to pull yourself together.” You would lie if you would say that her words did not shock you a little bit. She wasn't even trying to chat a little before dropping this on you. “I know and understand that you are hurt by what Rhys did, he is an idiot sometimes, but be honest with yourself. By this, you are only punishing both of you and why?” She shook her head. “I have been alive for.. a couple of thousands years. I saw many people get together and then break up. But I do not think this is what either of you want, am I right?” You sighed and nodded. You will not leave Rhysand because of this. You knew that, however you weren't sure what she was trying to tell you by this. “So.. If that is not the case, why are you doing this? Why waste time by being angry at each other.I think you both went through a lot to be this stupid.” And in that moment, you understood. 
Not wasting any time, you quickly hugged Amren and before she could even react, you started running to the kitchen. She was right after all. Your life wasn't easy, so why are you making yourself miserable even more? Rhys made a mistake, but that happens. But what you realized is that you love him enough to forgive him. You loved him. That warm feeling spreads throughout your whole body. And thanks to that, it all seemed so simple. 
At first, you simply wanted to grab something quick and go straight to Rhysand's office, but when you saw strawberries lying on the kitchen counter, you couldn't help yourself. Knowing the receipt by your heart paid off, when you were finishing the first strawberry tart, placing it on the plate and storming out of the kitchen with it, completely ignoring unfinished ones. You were sure Cassian would gladly eat them even now. You rushed to your room, to freshen up yourself and to change, before, with a plate in your hand, finally knock on your husband's office. “Come in.” 
Before you opened the massive doors, you took a deep breath. Although you were absolutely sure about this, like anything before in your life, you were also still nervous. When you came in, you saw Rhys sitting behind the table, which was full of papers. To be honest, he looked like he didn't get too much sleep and that made your heart hurt. He looked up, meeting your eyes. His face lit up a little bit, in a small hope, when he saw what you were carrying in your hands. He watched your steps, before you were finally standing right in front of him, placing the plate on his table. “I made this, just for you.” You announced, biting your lip. “Are you.. sure?” His voice was hesitant. It was clear he wanted nothing more than to devour that tart and then you, but even now he was giving you a chance to change your mind. You walked around the table, he turned himself in his chair to face you, which you took as an opportunity to sit on his lap. His hand instinctively found your hip, holding you close so you wouldn't fall down, as you took the spoon, scooped up a little part of that tart and brought it to his lips. After he looked into your eyes once again, he ate the food you offered him, groaning at its taste. That sound was so beautiful, so sinful.. It made you thank Morrigan that on your first shopping spree together, she took you in that one certain shop, where you bought matching sexy underwear you were currently hiding under your dress.
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lazywriters-blog · 3 months
Text
Aventurine with an innocent darling who's very vulnerable to his schemes and doesn't understand his motives for gifting her a ring, necklaces, expensive perfumes, and dresses that match his preference, finds it hard to believe that he's doing all this for her without a reason.
Doesn't say anything whenever he puts his hand around her waist and drags her along with him anywhere and everywhere he goes, when he leans close she doesn't move back, in a way Aventurine would find her daring and bold, which he would like. A lot.
Seeing as she never declines or rejects him, his advances, his gifts, his messages, their intimacy, and his touch, he considers her his best friend.
Which in time would soften his heart, they would play games that were to her liking (because he would always have her lose to his bets and wagers) but if you look at it from a stranger's point of view, she's playing a dangerous game and she's falling right into his trap, wearing his gifts, following him around, it wouldn't end well.
So of course, someone would eventually warn her and tell her to stay as far away as possible from the IPC executive, which to Aventurine's dismay, works. She's playing distance with him and doesn't laugh or smile as much as she would have before everything she was told messed up her mind, runs home after he keeps insisting that she stay the night and they could have a sleepover, however, they keep drifting apart every time he gets too overbearing.
Everything she does hurts his feelings and drags him further down.
Losing someone who didn't have ulterior motives, who didn't want him to be their friend for his money, influence, his looks, his luck, makes him all the more clingy and desperate.
He wants her back, so the first thing he does is make sure everyone keeps their mouths shut and never thinks about influencing his best friend. Which works, at least for a while.
He's attached to her, he can't consider losing her after everything they've been through, so even if she doesn't realize it, the damage has been done, and she can never look at Aventurine the same. Surely, he will learn about it soon enough.
He could try manipulating her, but what's the use? They've lost their genuine friendship, and it drives him crazy, makes him bitter, and makes him want to do things to whoever dragged his darling away.
He might resort to desperate measures.
So now, he's doing everything he used to do but ten times worse, giving her endless rows of gifts, and spending an unimaginable amount of money on her in hopes they can rekindle their friendship.
But something is still holding her back.
"You should stay the night," he said in his usual light tone, taking a glance to gauge her response. She smiled nervously, and he knew she would decline.
"No, I gotta get home but next time surely," promising him her next time had gotten old, even though she had only stated it twice. He looked away for a moment, trying his best not to squeeze her shoulder.
"You know, you've promised me that twice already and it still hasn't come true."
"I know, I'm sorry. It's just... I don't want to bother you." she looked down.
"I wonder if it is because of those people. You can easily be manipulated, I've already told you that so many times, so why can't you try to form your own opinion?" he didn't say it in a belittling manner, nor was his tone heavy in malice but anyone could tell something was wrong.
Aventurine has never been passive-aggressive, at least not with her.
"That's... Kinda mean." she tried to pull his arm, trying to shrug off his touch but that didn't stop nor discourage him because he just laughed and pulled her back to him.
"I was just kidding! Surely you would have known that by now sweetheart." he also never called her 'sweetheart'.
She looked at him, his wide grin and beautiful eyes peering down at her had always consoled her but now it was telling her to run away.
But with how tight he was holding onto her, she feared it would be impossible to get away now.
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ajortga · 4 months
Text
just too late
pairing: tara carpenter x fem!reader
summary: where tara can't help but regret the outcome of her consequences, she was just too late. how can a heart love if it is no longer beating?
warnings: massive angst, death, stabbing, blood
word count: 3.5k+
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a/n: based of a request i got on wp! honestly, i wrote this months ago and got to the end, but their request was so similar that i redid it. posting a small second part soon<3 also omg, thank you for 500 followers!
-
You had just visited Tara, a bouquet of roses in one hand as you knocked on the door. You had seen them when walking to her apartment and you knew that they were just perfect for her. You had to get them. As you heard the lock of the door click, Tara opened the door. She peeked out and saw you, smiling shyly. You thought she'd smile back, but instead her smile dropped. 
That had never happened before. 
"Y/N, we need to talk.
You knew something was wrong, something bad was going to happen. Your breath got stuck in your throat as she stepped aside to let you in. You knew the next thing that would happen would not be good.
 fast forward 20 minutes
You stood there in Tara's apartment, Sam eyeing you with a penetrating death glare. You felt like sinking into the floor right there and then. You hated this kind of silence. 
Sam broke the quietness, her gaze stern, "Y/N, this isn't going to work out between you and Tara." She states, crossing her legs as she sighs, "All of it just adds up."
You shake your head, but before you can retaliate, Sam speaks again.
"You know it too. You started dating my sister two weeks prior before the first ghostface attack. The police found your necklace right next to the victim, covered in blood. I can't trust you and have you near my sister. All of us," she states, twirling her finger in a circle, "Are in danger and I can't let my baby sister get hurt again. None of us trust you, not Mindy, not Chad, and definitely not me. You are going to stay away from her, no more coming over or seeing each other at school. Do I make myself clear?"
"You believe a piece of evidence that barely proves anything? They didn't even find my DNA anywhere!"
"Gloves."
You felt rage crawling its way out, you couldn't believe your girlfriend's sister would think you're the killer. Sam knows all too well how much Tara loves you. "You know I wouldn't hurt you! Least of all Tara! I love her with my whole heart and I would never even think of that! I-I don't know how my necklace got there, someone framed me!" You turned to Tara, blinking away tears that stung your eyes, "Tar.. You believe me right? Please tell her. I didn't do anything! Please don't leave me."
"Please.." you begged. You saw the way her gaze slightly cracked, you knew she didn't believe you. You could feel it, you wouldn't care for fucks sake if Mindy, Chad, or Sam didn't believe you. But Tara was different. It felt like a swing to the heart, it hurt so much. It felt heavy.
Tara didn't do anything but give you a hurt look, staring down at her fingers. You expect her to throw her arms around you, tell you that they all got it wrong and you can both live happily ever after in the end. Yet she doesn't.
"I'm sorry Y/N," she forces her shattered voice in her normal tone, swallowing a cry clawing to come out, "I don't trust you anymore, I don't love you. I-I never did. I just.. Don't think you should visit anymore. We're done."
You felt like your whole heart shattered at that moment as you heard her last two words. You looked at her as you sobbed in your hands. Hurt, mournful, betrayed.
All that Tara said was, "You need to get out please," her eyes pink and glossy.
"You don't understand Tara, please I'm begging you-"
"Y/N, I'm not going to say it twi- It's n-not me Tara!" you say, this point a small cry escaping you. The way Tara looks at you is wild.
Your girlfriend's voice raised, with a fury, she wasn't going to say it again, "Get the hell out! Do you need me to say i-it twice? I don't fucking love you! I don't want to see your face again!"
You flinched, you never felt more heartbroken in your life. Your heart hurt, it felt like someone had smashed it with a hammer. Tears that threatened to fall down were now dropping on the floor. All the moments you've spent together were now thrown away, stomped on. You felt your body shaking as you toss the flowers, leaving them to fall on the floor with a thud. 
You simply nod, slowly.
"Fine." You say, more flat than ever, turning to leave as you feel the petals get stepped on by your shoe. 
All you wanted was to brighten your girlfriend's day, entering with flowers in your hand and just wanting to cuddle her all day long. Yet, here you are, your girlfriend now turning into you ex, flowers dead, no cuddles, no more trust.
Tara felt horrible, the guilt eating her alive. All of her words were lies, she just knew that if you were to separate from her, she would keep you safe. You wouldn't be the target for ghostface if he thought you were just a normal person in Woodsboro. You would be safe. She tried to assure herself that as you slammed the door. 
Her eyes met the squished flower that escaped from the bouquet on the floor and she wondered if she'd ever get flowers from you again after everything.
-
You stared at the picture frame placed on the counter of you and Tara together hugging with matching clothes, you choked on your sobs. Tara nor your friend group had chatted with you since then. Sam had blocked you on social media. At least your other friends had came along and checked up on you to make sure you were okay. Tara had sent a few messages, saying she was sorry that things had ended up like this, but to realize you blocked her.
You couldn't function properly, your eyes were dry with the amount of tears you released in the past week.
It's not your fault, you tried to assure yourself. You weren't ghostface. You can't believe the person you trusted most didn't even put her trust in you.
Maybe it all is your fault. Maybe if you were different, in personality, how much the core 4 really liked you, you wouldn't be here, crying like those teens in the movies that just feast on a gallon of ice cream. It makes you cry a little harder while you hug your teddy bear.
Especially the taunting memory of Tara screaming at you, tears blurring your vision as you stumbled back out of her apartment. Sam's eyes softening just a little bit, not meaning for this to happen. Yet you didn't even try looking into her eyes, too caught up with your own feelings to feel her sorrow.
The past few days, you've locked yourself up, abandoned school. Ignored the core 4, blocked Tara and the other three.
Your mind wandered, you were clouded in your own thoughts as you sobbed angry and hurtful tears. You cried to the point where tears stopped falling, and you were left with feeling nothing and your body feeling sore. Your breathing was still heavy, you let out heavy shaky breaths, but they started to cool down.
You closed your eyes, focusing on your breathing, until you heard your phone buzz from the ground. You picked it up, there was a message.
A part of you expected your friends to check up on you, since that's what they've been doing every since you've stopped going to school. Instead, you were met with a picture from unknown of the abandoned movie theater not too far from here. There, you saw the camera facing a knife pointing towards Tara and Sam, threatening, daring. 
Your eyes widened, as you immediately take your keys and bust out the door, grabbing a small knife, maybe you'll need it, unblocking Tara and calling her and all of those you knew must be in there. They're in danger.
Each call leads to voicemail, from both Tara and Sam, you search up their location. The only one shared for you is Tara's. You almost smash it to the front of your phone holder, locating where they are at.
As much as you hurt, you knew that you would never heal knowing that someone you loved was at risk. The car engine roars to life as you head for the theater.
With each texts and call ignored, you get paranoid, worried sick. Stepping on the accelerator of the car, your car turns a corner and is out of sight.
"She fell for it, she's coming your way," a taunting voice rasps into their phone, Ghostface.
"Our plan is just setting into action."
-
Carefully, you slip into the door of the run down theater. You hear clatters, and immediately you freeze, hiding a corner and peeking out. Tara's scream echoes through the theater, your eyes widen and you look around, for something sharp. 
This is a stupid shrine committed to ghostface, you realize. It makes it a little better, at least you're guaranteed a knife to defend and fight with?
You sweep a corner, the room your in is silent, and you creek down the floor board, being greeted with glass display cases.
You're not good with blood, yet there's evidence from ghostface's mark years ago. TV's, a knife laced in the red crimson color. A gag almost leaves your lips, yet you open the display case and your hands grasp around  a cool metal. It's a knife alright, not too sharp if you were to drop it you wouldn't cut your whole toe off. Yet it's do-able. 
"Tara?" your voice echoes, walking around and exploring, you're frantic. You keep hearing her voice mail ring through your ears and your worry increases.
You thought the room you were in was obsessive with ghostface, yet when you go into the middle of this shrine, it's filled with obsessive things. Masks, robes, knives, even the TV that Stu Macher was killed by. A shiver escapes you.
You look up, and you see the chaos going, glass shattered on the floor, action buzzing around. You see Tara.
"Tara!" You shout, trying to keep your voice low, your eyes meeting the ladder that goes up, you climb on it, grunting in effort. You climb, climb, climb, climb, until you reach the top.
Tara is with Sam, they're talking about their plan, they're a couple hundred feet away from you. The sister's clothes are smothered in blood, Sam's arm has a wound, and you feel sick seeing the blood seeping from your girlfriend's clothes. 
Your about to say her name, until you see a shadow emerge. It's not any that you know, this one is dark, tall, more man-like. 
It's not until you see the tilt of their head the sliver of light reflecting off their mask. Ghost face. 
You don't know what gotten into you from the adrenaline from the moment, but your legs begin to run, move, nothing sounds more fitting than slow motion. His knife lifts from his chest, the sharp metal edge glistening.
You try to scream, the words bubble up in your throat, comes out in a dry cough.
Your legs feel like jelly, run faster, damnit. 
They can't see him, he's behind them, tucked just 2 feet away in a corner, yet you see him. You can save Tara and her older sister, you can save the both of them, you have time. 
You can save the both of them, your love outplays your brain. It's telling you to stop, you're going to get killed. But your heart overwhelms it, beating quicker, with each beat all you can hear is 
Tara
Tara
Tara
Save
Her!
Tara
You
Have
Time.
The knife ghostface is holding gets brought down.
"Tara!" You finally scream, it comes out as a desperate cry as you lunge towards her. Her eyes turn from the setting below her to you, confusion, then shock as your hands shove her shoulders. The strength you built up finally goes to use, pushing her out of harms way, she shoves into Sam, as they both stumble back. 
You hear them both say your name, confusion at first, before the second time they holler it out. It's a scream, yet it dies down in your ears, feeling the cool metal of the blade slam into your shoulder. The ring from Tara's screams fade, replaced with the blood pulsing in your ears. The pain, the sharp knife sinking into the flesh of your shoulder. All you can do is let out a soft cry, too tired to scream. 
Your eyes water, looking up at ghostface, the ugly mask boring into your eyes. He tilts his head, shocked for a moment. Until he tilts his head back again, like the target he hit is even better than what he wanted. They didn't expect you so soon.
The knife tears out from your flesh, a sob leaves your throat, kicking and flaring your arms. 
"Y/N!" Tara screams your name, this one you can hear. She's crying, sobbing, wailing. Begging for her older sister to let her go and save you. 
Sam shushes her, all they can do is watch. All Tara can do is watch you suffer.
His knife slams into you again, your abdomen. You hear a disgusting squelch as it goes in. The pain is unbearable, this stab hurts even more than anything you can think about. You thought the 4 foot thorn going through your foot was bad. You cry, grabbing the knife that's tucked into your pocket and slam it against the black coat, right where the neck meets the shoulder.
A raspy whisper escapes your lips, "F-fuck you." You snarl.
You barely hear him grunt. Yet he doesn't back down, in fact, you hear the disgusting squelch again.
And again.
And again.
The pain lessens. You know why. You're dying.
You can't hear it anymore, but there are now several stabs on your abdomen. You collapse, blood seeping through your clothes, your hands, your face. It's warm, dark red, spreading. It oozes out of your wounds, and the squelching sounds are gone. Your eyes flutter, seeing the flurry of the white masked figure leaving you to rot. Your body collapses to the floor with a loud crash.
You saved Tara, you would die before he could ever kill her. Before she could ever die. If Tara died, you'd kill yourself, or you'd die quicker from a broken heart. 
Sam's yelling, kicking ghostface as he lets go of you, you can barely see her bringing him down to the bottom floor, both of them collapsing off the second story.
Your eyes begin to close, your breath comes in short heaves and wheezes.
And then, you see her, barely, through your weak vision.
It's blurry at first, but you know it's Tara, who else would look so good with blood all over her face?
She presses her body down to you, her warmth barely seeping through, your body is colder. Those warm, soft eyes are wide, looking so scared, hands pressing down deeper to your stomach, trying to stop the bleeding.
"Fuck, no. Nononono.. Why the hell would you do that?" She yells at you, shaking your body, you whimper.
You barely respond, croak her name out, cough out blood.
She's crying, you realize, she's choking on sobs as she cradles you, lifting your body up to her chest. She smells like your favorite scent, sweet.. light.. vanilla.. So lovely.
You just want to be in her arms forever. Let her sweetness soothe the pain.
"Y/N," she sobs, seeing the way you're struggling to stay conscious, you're only holding on because she's there. She can tell the way your eyes are slowly glassing over, your vision is twitching, blurring, un-focusing. 
Don't cry, you want to tell her, even though you know you're here, dying in your girlfriend's arms. But you're too weak to speak, instead, let a slurred murmur leave you. Her hand is clinging to yours, like if she were to let go you would immediately fall away.
"It's okay baby," Tara sniffs, clinging to you. Like if she lets go you'll shatter, "I'm here, help will come soon. Stay with me. Eyes on me baby."
You look at her, your girlfriend, being in her arms. She has a small wound, around her arm to her shoulder, yet it's barely bleeding. Being here, in her arms. It's your favorite thing ever, you've done it so many times to feel her warmth. You never thought you would not be in Tara's arms at night with you buried against her.
Yet you know it's your last time you'll be in them. You can barely feel the warmth she's trying to transfer to you, you're freezing. She senses it too, the way she's hugging you tighter. Pleading you to stay here, with her. The brunette squeezes your hand, distracts you from the pain that's already leaving. Along with your pulse. 
"I'm so fucking sorry," she sobs, "I love you so much, you don't fucking understand," she wails. Pulls you closer to her, "I should have never left you, you mean the world to me, I never meant what I said. I t-thought I could protect you if ghostface knew that you were no longer in our circle."
You wheeze, your eyes never looking away from hers. She notices, how you're studying her, like the moment you don't, you'll forget how she looks like in heaven. 
Freckles, doe-shaped crying eyes. You lift her hand to your chest, let her feel your heart, to let her know that your giving her your heart, your love. You don't want her to forget about you. 
You don't want to die.
Yet if you don't want her to die, you'll die before she could ever. 
Tara's still sobbing, ripping her shirt and tying it against your stomach, the blood seeps through, she tightens it. Looks worriedly down at you. 
Ugly shapes of swiggles and dots cloud, you see random shapes flying. Try to focus on Tara.
Sirens ring in the distance, Tara looks back, yet immediately looks back at you. A tear falls from her stained mascara cheeks, down your shirt. Weakly, you bring it up and wipe her cheeks. Assure her it'll be okay. Yet she knows it's not. They're just too fucking late.
You saved her. That's all that matters now.
"It's all my fault, I'm so sorry my love. I never meant to hurt you. I never thought it would end so soon. I don't want you to die."
You swallow, blood slightly gurgles through your throat, use your dying strength to speak, "I'm h-here." You croak, "T-tara."
"I love you so much," you slur, hiccupping on a cry. Trace the matching necklace she gifted the two of you years past on her neck. You're wearing it too.  Hers was silver, yours was gold. A silver and golden dove.
The blood loss is too much, you can barely speak. But she's here with you, in your last moments. You're able to have a goodbye you might not have had. She might not be ready, but you almost are.
Time wasn't in your favor. It really wasn't. 
This isn't goodbye this is a simply see you later.
She's okay, knowing that makes you feel a little more okay. A little more okay and soothe the worries.
Tara plays with your necklace. A proper goodbye. Her eyes glisten with tears, and she leans down, presses her lips to yours. You kiss her, knowing it'll be the one you'll live to feel. Then you slump back down on the concrete. You don't care about anyone but her anymore. Sirens holler, people bust into the theater, and you look up at her, taking off her necklace and putting it into the palm of her hand.
"I w-want you to promise me one thing."
She sniffles, tears wont stop anytime soon, keeps tying cloth around your deep wounds. It's no use. She nods, "Y-yeah?"
"Promise me y-you won't forget me. E-even when you find someone you love, maybe even more than me. You won't t-throw.." You pause, coughing, "T-throw our memories away.  Promise me that. That when your h-hands hold theirs, you realize that mine was once warmer. When you're by yourself on F-Friday nights, you'll remember that you used to come to mine and cuddle m-me." You hiccup, losing your train of thought, blinking, your words are barely audible, yet Tara can still make them out.
"...When you look at the stars on the grassy meadow, you'll remember that that's the spot we always w-went to to get our thoughts out of things," you barely giggle, it hurts your stomach. "A-and, when you look at all my pictures, or maybe one day I won't pass your mind for once, you'll be ready to let me go. The thought of me still being here. Y-you'll be able to love, even though I might still scar your heart."
She sniffles, seeing the way you begin to struggle on your words, they grow quieter.
"But I won't let that happen, I don't want your h-heart t-to scar," You place her hand on your chest again, "You can have mine."
Tara swallows her tears, still, they drop.
"I love you, Y/N," she sniffles, it's the same word from every other time you both said you loved each other. Yet this time, it's so fucking different. It's the last time you'll ever hear her say it to you while you're still hear. "I'll never love anyone more than I loved you."
"I love you too, Tara," you whisper. It's the last time she'll ever hear it from you. A small, weak smile cracks on your face as she leans down one more time, kisses you softly, taking the last breath from your lips.
And it's time to go. Your chest stills.
And for the last time, she hears your heart beat one more time.
A heart that once beat for her was gone.
508 notes · View notes
xxchumanixx · 5 months
Text
Thought Contagion
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Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary: After a one night stand he ghosted you. When forced to talk, the lines slowly start to blur. Warnings/Tags: hurt, angst, fluff in the end, mentions of a one night stand, reader has the ability to communicate via thoughts and move objects Word count: 4.397 Authors note: I just love him. Do I need to say more? It's 4 am, and I'm dead. So this might make no sense at all, but hey I somehow managed to write this delusional on tiredness.
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Dr. Raynor's office
The clock on the wall ticked steadily, almost matching your heartbeat.
"Did you dream of him again?" she wanted to know, eyes closely watching you.
"No, I haven't dreamt of him in a long time now... but he contacted me." you gave back, fingers interlocked, fumbling with each other.
"Did he call you? Text?"
"No, he contacted me through my thoughts."
"That he can do?"
"When the will is there, yes."
"There has to be a deep connection between you for him to do that."
"No... not anymore."
"So there was a connection."
"Was. It doesn't exist anymore."
"What happened between you two?"
"We slept with each other. And after he left without me noticing, I never heard of him again."
She nodded to herself, carefully considering what you told her.
"Do you have feelings for him?"
"I've had feelings for him for almost ten years now."
You knew it wasn't right, not like this. When you first saw him, it was at the museum, Steve telling you everything about him. How brave he was, courageous and caring. How he looked after Steve, when no one else was left.
You developed feelings for someone who didn't even exist anymore, at least that was what everyone thought.
Who would have known, that he was still alive, breathing and killing.
"Do you know him this long?" she asked, head tilted.
"No. I met him, after Steve brought him back. I was there, when they brought him to Wakanda and I visited him during his rehabilitation. Then, when Thanos blib'd us, he was gone. And after he returned a few months ago, it just happened. I don't know if it was frustration, after Steve left us, or what else it was, but we lost control for a moment."
"Control over what? Your feelings?"
"He doesn't have any feelings for me."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Why do you think he ghosted me?" you chuckled dryly, brows furrowed as you looked at her like she was an alien.
You had to bite your lip not to snarl at her, send biting words her way. She was only trying to help you, had been for a few months now.
But sometimes, she didn't seem to understand you.
"Maybe because he was scared? Didn't know how to handle his feelings?" she suggested, cocking a brow.
"No, James Barnes doesn't have such feelings - only sadness and anger." you told her, the bitter feeling of guilt stinging on your tongue.
"Was it these feelings, that led to him sleeping with you? His anger, his sadness?"
"A moment of weakness, nothing more."
She wrote something into her notebook, before she tapped her pen on the paper. "What did he want?"
"He wanted me to help him."
You flinched, when suddenly a sharp pain tore through your head.
What the hell?
"Y/N?"
You believed you heard a voice, one that sounded painfully familiar.
"Y/N?" There it was again, and you sighed shakily, feelings starting to mix in a dangerous cocktail. "James?" you answered in a thought, eyes closing, as you tried not to betray your feelings with a quiver of your voice.
It must have taken him a lot to contact you through your thoughts.
You were a telepath, able to communicate via thoughts, as well as moving objects through the air. But it took a lot of willpower, to contact you through your thoughts, especially when it was over such a great distance.
And by someone like James Buchanan Barnes.
"Oh thank god." you heard him mumble, as your belly churned.
After you've spent the night together and he left, you hadn't heard from him. Why would he contact you like that of all ways? Why contact you at all?
"What do you want?" you returned coldly, teeth gritted, as you sat up in bed. You were just about to sleep, already tucked under your covers, when he contacted you.
The anger bubbling up in your stomach made it hard for you to concentrate, but the curiosity was the slightest bit stronger.
"I need your help."
Eyes widening, you fumed. Hands clenched into fists, the books in the bookcase started to rattle, trinkets threatening to tumble over.
Oh, the nerve he had - he had to be fucking kidding you.
"You need my help?" you seethed, not able to contain the angry chuckle that escaped your lips. "You have to be kidding me."
It was silent for a few moments and you started to think he might have cut the connection, when you heard him sigh.
"I-" he started, but was cut off by another voice. "What are you doing?" you heard the voice ask - Sam. "Are you praying or something?"
You could basically hear Bucky's eyes roll in their sockets, as he sighed angrily. "No, I'm not." he retorted, scoffing. "I'm-" he cut himself off this time, most likely rubbing the stubble on his chin. "I'm talking to Y/N."
It was silent for another moment, before you heard Sam again. "How? Where's your phone? Or are you communicating through prayers?"
Rolling your eyes, you shook your head.
"Forgot that she can communicate via thought?" Bucky gave back, sounding fed up. "That's possible?" Sam sounded surprised. "Over this distance? What do you want from her anyways? Thought you guys aren't talking."
Cocking a brow you huffed, and you heard Bucky stutter incoherently, eventually finding his words. "No- I-I mean, yes. We need her help if we want to find them!"
"Find whom?" you wanted to know, scrambling for the laptop that was under your bed, flipping it open, despite your better judgement. "What happened anyways?" Sam questioned, his curiosity getting the best of him.
Since when were they teaming up?
"Did you hear about the group 'Flagsmashers'?" Bucky asked, focusing back on you. "Of course, do you think I live under a rock?" you scoffed in return.
He rolled his eyes, you swear he did.
"Well, they plan something big and we can't find them." he explained, ignoring Sam who was still demanding an answer. "We need satellite pictures or video or whatever. Sharon can't hack into them."
"Sharon?" you retorted, huffing. You hadn't seen her since she had to flee, now knowing why. She must have holed up wherever Sam and Bucky where. "What makes you think I have access to satellites wherever you are?"
He hesitated, as you grew impatient.
"And what exactly makes you think I'd help you?"
He must have been very desperate if he contacted you of all people.
"After all I thought we weren't talking?"
He was frustrated, you could tell. You could feel it seeping into your bones.
"They are killing dozens of innocent people!" he explained, anger and frustration filtering through his voice. "Could you please help us? I wouldn't ask if I had another option."
I wouldn't ask you of all people.
"Already on it." you mumbled, as you were already typing on your laptop, telling yourself you were doing this for the innocent people he mentioned, ignoring your aching heart.
The group he was talking about was all over the news lately, gathering more followers each day. They were a threat, and no matter how much you despised talking to Bucky, you knew you had to help them.
Going through the various pictures, you scanned them for the group. "Found 'em." you announced, zooming in on a picture.
"I'll send Sam the location."
Bucky made a noise like he wanted to protest, say something like 'Why not sent it to me?', but he must have remembered that you weren't talking.
"Thank you." you heard him mutter, before he abruptly cut the connection, leaving you wide awake.
Closing your eyes you tried to hold back the tears. It was pointless crying over him, you did for a while now.
It never changed anything for you.
But, as Bucky was forming a plan with Sam, he could hear it clear as day - the single sob that managed to spill, leaving him wondering if he really heard it, or if he just imagined it.
"Did you help him?" Dr. Raynor asked, brows furrowed. She as well had heard about the group of terrorists, and she had talked to Sam and Bucky not long ago.
"I had to." you retorted, huffing.
"Why? Because he asked you to?"
"Because it was the right thing to do."
"Because of this group they are trying to stop?"
"Yes."
She nodded to herself, biting her cheek.
"How do you feel about John Walker being the new Captain America?"
Your eyes snapped to hers, hands stopping their trembling. "Don't call him that."
"Why not? Doesn't he fit your expectations?"
You chuckled dryly, smirking at her. "My expectations?" you wanted to know, leaning forward with a cocked brow. "Steven Grant Rogers was my best friend. He was my anchor, and when he left, living a life in the past with Peggy Carter, he fulfilled his greatest wish. Do I hate him for leaving me behind? Yes, I do. But I support him and his decision nonetheless. He gave the shield to Sam, who gave it away. Who am I to have expectations, when my biggest hope of someone worthy stepping into these massive footprints has been so utterly disappointed?"
Her forehead creased in thought, tapping the pen on the notebook again. The sound was so familiar already, that you had started to ignore it a long time ago.
"John Walker is said to be a good man. Don't you think he will make a good replacement for Captain America?"
"He can be good all he wants, wear the medals he obtained with pride - but he'll never be like us. The Avengers, people that gave everything for others, never once thinking about ourselves. Did we get any medals when we stopped Thanos? When Tony undid the blib, sacrificing himself? No. My best friend - my sister - died, forcing my dad to forever feel guilty for not dying in her place. Can she be replaced? No. Just as Steve can't be replaced. But Sam was the best option to be the next Cap."
"You're dad?"
"Clint. He took me under his wing almost fifteen years ago. He's the dad I never had."
She nodded, scribbling something down again.
"Will you talk to him again?"
Your brows furrowed, remembering the conversation you had with your dad only this morning.
"James."
Sighing, you leaned back against the cushions again, crossing your arms over your chest.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Why not?" you repeated her words, anger bubbling up yet again, as your eyes widened in disbelieve. "James Buchanan Barnes ghosted me after we had sex, only contacting me to get my help. After that, he ghosted me again. And you're asking why not?"
She heaved a sigh, glancing at her watch only to see that she had another thirty minutes with you.
It wasn't that she didn't like you, but you reminded her of Bucky in your stubborn and deflective ways.
"Maybe you should." she spoke, tilting her head. "Talk to him, demand answers as to why exactly he ghosted you."
Scoffing, you stood, feeling the sudden urge to leave, get the hell out of there.
"Sit." she demanded sharply, the tapping of her pen coming to a halt.
Groaning, you did.
"Why don't you help them in trying to stop this group of terrorists for starters?" she suggested, leaning forwards on her elbows, that were resting on her thighs. "And maybe you can talk to him afterwards."
You laughed at her suggestion, declaring her insane.
But you couldn't deny the aching in your heart at the prospect.
You yearned for his touch, his scent, his voice. The way his fingertips ghosted over your skin, lips brushing over the shell of your ear as he whispered sweet nothings into it, hips connecting with yours over and over again.
Dr. Raynor smirked, like she was able to read your thoughts. She wasn't, though she still seemed to know exactly what you were thinking.
Cheeks reddening, you cleared your throat, deciding that you were in need of another topic.
"How was your weekend?"
____
You hated this.
Why exactly did she manage to convince you to follow them, again?
You were late, seeing as the whole scene was crowded, the Flagsmashers already captured, their leader dead. She was a young girl, barely old enough to drink legally.
You were standing at the rear of the ambulance, watching Sam and Bucky who were stood at the front, backs turned towards you. They didn't know you were there yet, talking to each other.
Your heart was thundering in your chest, and you were scared Bucky could hear it with his super soldier hearing.
You were contemplating if you should turn around and hurry the fuck out of there, but it was too late, when they turned instead, heading towards you.
They hadn't seen you yet, but when Sam looked up, his steps faltered, causing Bucky to look your way as well. He stopped dead in his tracks, jaw slack, before it clenched.
Sam hesitantly closed the distance, whilst Bucky was glued to the spot.
"Hey." he voiced, glancing back at the frozen super soldier. "I'll leave you to talk."
"What if I don't want to?"
"You should."
He patted you on the shoulder, before he left for someone that called out to him.
Your hands trembled, your whole body trembled, as you both stared at each other. Neither of you knew what to say, neither wanting to be the first to speak.
"Should have expected you to turn up here." he muttered, and you scoffed. "Believe me, I'm not here because I wanted to be." you retorted as equally cold, shoving your hands into the pockets of your jacket.
He cocked a brow, mimicking the movement, his arm reflecting the light. "Why are you here then?" he wanted to know, fighting the urge to lean against the ambulance.
He didn't want to come over as relaxed, because he definitely wasn't with you standing in front of him.
Not anymore.
He hadn't expected you to show up, he had hoped you wouldn't.
"I wanted to see if you need more help with the Flagsmashers." you explained, looking past him. "You already helped enough with the location." he returned, unwavering.
Nodding, you bit your lip, looking away.
He was shoving you away, again.
"Well, then I suppose I will go." you spoke, swallowing. "Should have expected not to be welcomed."
You didn't mean to say it out loud, really. It just slipped through somehow.
His brows furrowed, eyes narrowing. "Welcomed?" he asked, taking a step closer as his head tilted. "No one invited you. You didn't need to come."
Huffing, you nodded again.
"Well, and no one invited you." you retorted sharply, looking back up at him. "Yet you came as well, before you left without a word."
His jaw clenched, teeth gritted.
"But hey, lets not talk about it, its not worth mentioning anyways."
You wanted to scratch his ego, your own lying broken in a corner. It worked, as he took another step closer, head tilted. Lowering his voice, he spoke exactly what you were expecting him to.
"Didn't sound not 'worth mentioning' it, considering the way you cried my name out for everyone in the building to hear."
You shivered involuntarily, trying not to let him see, though.
He wasn't wrong, but you wouldn't have him know that.
"Really? Maybe I'm just a good actress."
He scoffed, chuckling dryly.
"Just as good as you're at sneaking out."
He fumed at your words, face hardening. His arm whirred quietly, so hard he must have been clenching his hands into fists.
You stared each other down, as your heart silently begged for you to stop. But you were caught in the moment, caught in your anger and hurt.
When neither of you said anything for a good minute, you shook your head and turned around, starting to walk away.
You should have known he wouldn't talk to you.
"Do you think it was easy?" he shouted after you, causing you to halt in your movement.
"Do you think it was easy? After everything that happened, being turned to dust, returning, only for Steve to leave me behind?"
You turned back around, scoffing. "He didn't leave only you." you reminded him, voice harsh. "He left Sam and I as well. He left us all behind, staying in the past to spend his life with Peggy - the only wish he ever had. He was selfish, yes, but he knew we'd manage."
He shook his head, biting his cheek.
"I failed him."
You couldn't help but laugh, frustration growing thicker. "Why do you think so?"
His eyes were glued to the floor, before he looked back up at you.
"I tried, but I didn't manage." he explained, taking a step closer, partly closing the distance you had created. "I spiraled downwards, losing control. I-" he cut himself off, eyes flitting to the sky above you, as he licked his lips, before he looked back at you.
"I lost the little ounce of control I had left when I let you in." he continued, shaking his head, as he bit down on his cheek, the sting momentarily distracting him from his raging heart. "When we- when we spent that night together, I panicked. I hadn't done something like that since the forties, and I didn't want to drag you down into the hole I was falling into."
You had to swallow, eyes stinging, even though you did your best to ignore it.
"And what about me?" you wanted to know, clearing your throat, as your voice quivered. "What about the hole I was falling into?"
His jaw ticked, and he swallowed.
When he didn't answer, you continued.
"You left me behind, in the moment I was the most vulnerable. I needed you, and you left - as well."
He shook his head, hand brushing through his hair. "You don't need me."
"I shouldn't need you." you corrected him, shaking your head with a frown, as you took a step closer. "When Steve first told me about you, showing me your picture at the museum I knew I was done for. Hell, when you stood in front of me, breathing and not dead, like you were believed to be, I thought I was dreaming. I envied Steve, because he made you sound like the best person on earth."
He scoffed, but didn't interrupt you further, eyes downcast.
"I wanted to get to know you, wanted to see if Steve was right." you continued, fighting a smile, losing. "He was, and when we spent more time together, I started to see what he saw. And then you turned into dust. The whole world tilted, for five years. You were gone, Sam, my dad and my whole family suddenly vanished. And when you returned I was so happy - only for you to leave me again. I know it probably didn't mean anything to you, but for me it did."
You breathed in shakily, stopping your own rambling, heart hammering in your chest, threatening to break through.
"You're wrong." he muttered, swallowing, as he locked eyes with you. "It did mean something to me - it meant the whole world to me. You didn't judge me, no matter what I did. You made me forget. You where there the whole time, accompanying me the whole way. But when Steve-" he choked on his breath, shaking his head with tears glistening in his eyes.
"I lost it. And I couldn't risk bringing you in harms way - my way. I didn't want to hurt you."
Sniffing, you bit on your cheek, almost drawing blood.
"But you did." you whispered, tears making your eyes burn, blurring your sight. "You did, when you pushed me away. You where the only constant I had left, and you pushed me away."
He nodded, sniffing as well. "I know, doll." he spoke, biting his lip. "I know."
Even though you felt a weight lift from your shoulders, it didn't feel as relieving as it should have. A tear fell, but you didn't brush it away.
You fell silent, lost in thought.
Somehow, you just confessed your feelings to him, stripped them bare for him to see. Leaving you even more vulnerable.
Your fingers tapped on your thigh in a nervous habit, wishing you could read Bucky's mind. Even though you were able to communicate via thought, you weren't actually able to read other peoples thoughts.
"Will you forgive me?" he suddenly rasped out, eyes staying a second longer on the ground, before they found yours, hope glistening in them. He sounded so broken, so vulnerable, like you never heard him before.
"Please, Y/N."
You swallowed at the nerves bubbling up, slowly starting to nod. "Yes, Bucky." you breathed out, sniffing. "Yes, I forgive you."
How were you supposed to stay angry at him, after what he just told you? After everything that had happened?
He breathed a sigh of relief, nodding to himself, as his eyes closed for a moment.
A tear slipped past his eyelashes, and he bit his lip. You had only seen him cry once, causing you to inhale shakily at the memory.
He wiped at the salty liquid, before his eyes opened again, his feet taking him closer to you, until he was as close as he was the last time you had seen him in person.
You could smell his familiar cologne, feel the heat his body radiated.
His flesh fingers hesitantly moved, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of your face, softly cupping your cheek. The action made you shiver, goosebumps covering your arms, as you leaned into his warm touch the slightest bit, eyes locked onto his blue ones.
"I'm so sorry, doll." he rasped out, eyes fighting to stay on yours. "I did what I thought was best for you, but I know now, that I was wrong. I'm having nightmares again, but I'm working on it. I'm working on everything, trying to get a bit of the old me back to life - the one Steve had told you all these stories about."
You knew about his nightmares, even though they were different now, thanks to the Dora Milaje who had managed to free him of the Winter Soldier state.
He didn't turn into him anymore, not for the briefest of moments. Something he would forever be grateful for.
"I'm an idiot." he mumbled, eyes leaving yours, his hand leaving your face, falling back at his side with his head downcast. "I never should have left - never should have let this happen. I should have listened to Dr. Raynor."
You cocked a brow at his words, head tilting to somehow meet his gaze. "What do you mean?"
He sighed heavily, swallowing, as his nerves got the best of him. "I mean that I should have talked to you, instead of just leaving you behind." he explained, tongue brushing over his lip, hesitating. "Should have told you how I feel."
You inhaled sharply, hands starting their nervous trembling at your sides again.
"What do you feel?" you managed to breathe out, and his eyes met yours again, the intensity of his gaze stealing your breath.
His lips parted, only for his tongue to wet them again. He searched for the right words, soon giving up and opting for the simpler option instead.
"I love you, Y/N."
Your breathing hitched, heart stumbling, before it doubled its speed.
"You're pure, soft and so lovingly." he continued, hands cupping your face. There the words were. "You never once judged me, not even in my darkest hours. You're the thing that kept me going, made me push through to get rid of the Winter Soldier. I wanted to be better - for you. But I fucked up, so badly. I fell into an old habit, pushing you away so you wouldn't get hurt, but instead I did exactly that: hurting you. And I'm a fucking coward for pushing you away, and not pulling you closer instead, now that I'm actually able to."
Words had left you, only tears managed to spill. He brushed them away with his thumbs, one cold and one warm, yet they were both so soft.
His eyes closed, forehead brushing yours. Your eyes fluttered closed as well, breathing him in.
"Working with Sam on this distracted me enough to forget it for a moment." he spoke quietly, leaving you to wonder how exactly that had happened. "But I was selfish when I contacted you, asking for help. I wanted to hear your voice, even if you would have just shouted at me, telling me to never talk to you again."
You bit your lip, more tears falling.
"I would have never." you told him, eyes squinting, even though they were already closed. "I love you too much."
His body moved abruptly, a sob breaking through his lips. It was one of relief and deep shame.
He nodded, his forehead leaving yours to press kisses to your face. Your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, until he finally met your lips with his own.
You tasted the salty remnants of your combined tears on your lips, but neither of you cared. Hands wrapping around his neck, brushing through his hair, you tugged him closer.
Something wet hit your cheek, but you couldn't tell if it were your tears, or his.
His hands on your cheeks tilted your head back, deepening the kiss. His tongue brushed yours, an action so soft it left you yearning for more.
When his lips left yours, you sighed, eyes slowly opening to meet his blue ones. His lips were kiss swollen, but so were yours.
"He took the shield." Bucky breathed out with shining eyes, fingers dancing through your hair. Nodding, you couldn't help but smile. "I know. Finally."
He chuckled quietly, before his lips connected with yours again.
"Now that this mission is complete, I'm all yours." he promised, forehead meeting yours again. "I won't ever do the mistake of pushing you away again, I promise."
You smiled, feeling the tears return, happy ones this time.
"I'm yours." he repeated, lips meeting your cheek. "I'm yours."
"I know." you returned, eyes fluttering closed.
"And I'm yours."
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merakiui · 6 months
Text
ex-husband floyd thoughts...
in which you're living alone with your daughter. it's been two years since everything, and you're all settled. it took a while to truly feel secure and stable, and you received lots of help from family and friends. surprisingly (or maybe not), floyd's twin brother was one of the first to extend a helping hand. it's mostly thanks to him that you were able to have enough money to pay the first few months of rent at your new apartment. but now you're back on your feet, and things have never been better.
your daughter didn't understand it when you told her she'd be living with you from now on. awkwardly, you tried to explain that papa couldn't come with because he was getting involved with some bad people, and that was dangerous. your daughter didn't understand or believe you. it was difficult. you know how much she adored her papa and how much he adored her. but this is for the best. this is safe.
following the divorce, your daughter started saying strange things. things like "i saw papa today and he made me a yummy lunch!" you tell her this can't be; that was the babysitter, not floyd. besides, the dishes are clean and everything is stocked as it normally is. there's no evidence floyd could have been here. furthermore, he doesn't even have a key and your daughter isn't tall enough to reach the doorknob to let him in. your daughter calls you a liar and storms off most days because you refuse to believe her stories. that's all they are, really. she's just missing her papa.
you told floyd you had no problems letting him see her so long as he cleaned up his act and stopped getting involved with delinquents. seeing as it's been two years and floyd's still running from people, you (as a parent) have a responsibility to keep your daughter safe. and you know it's terrible for her and floyd, but this is the best option you can think of. the safest option.
floyd thinks that's bullshit because he can protect you and his daughter plenty, but then he gets it. you never liked the shadows that accompanied his surname. he understands. but he thinks it's awfully unfair of you to just cut him out of your life when he promised you he'd change and do better and be better. :/
he sees how hard you work, how rough it gets when you haven't been paid yet. he has jade send you money because he knows you don't want to see him, and most of the time you accept it. but sometimes it's sent back, accompanied with a note thanking him for his generosity and that you can manage by yourself. again, floyd knows this is bullshit.
his shrimpy works so hard. :( you deserve a break.
so when you're sleeping every night, he pays your apartment a visit. you've started sleeping on the couch most nights, with the tv still on, your work spread out on the coffee table, your daughter tucked away in her bed... it's hard being a single parent, isn't it? why don't you stop being stubborn and let him back into your life? floyd will take good care of you. he always has, hasn't he?
he carries you to bed and tucks you in, cleans up the room, stacks your books, prepares a meal for you to heat up tomorrow at work, etc. and how do you respond to his kindness? you go and change the locks without saying anything.
so next time floyd thinks he has no choice but to be drastic. so next time floyd will make sure you understand that there is no life worth living if it's not you and him together. as a pair. as a whole. you might be frightened when he wakes you up in the middle of the night to drag you back to his home (to your home) and you might continue to be scared of him when he confines you to the basement, but this is for your own good. think of your daughter! she deserves to grow up with both parents. at the very least, be good for her sake.
floyd tells your daughter that you're in perpetual timeout because you've been bad and she believes him. after all, it was you who refused to let her spend more time with her papa. that's a very bad thing to do!
floyd brings you your meals, carries you to the bath, bathes you, dresses you... you scowl at him the entire time, call him crazy, tell him to get away from your daughter, refuse to eat, fight him every time he tries to undress you for the bath. he smiles, eerily patient, and simply says, "i'm willing to letcha see her once you've cleaned up your act. you can do that, can'tcha?"
418 notes · View notes
transmascaraa · 3 months
Note
may i please request genshin men (lyney, tighnari, cyno, and whoever else you'd like to add) with a jaded and distrustful reader. they're hesitant to entertain the idea of a relationship bc they don't believe it's genuine, the reader is scared they have ulterior motives. they've been hurt before and aren't about to let it happen again. because of this they act kind of standoffish to any advances they make. how would they win over the reader?
multiple characters headcannons!
distrust.
characters: lyney, tighnari, cyno, sethos x gn!reader
author's note: finally doing another req lmfao how are you guys😭 oh yeah and i want to try writing sethos cuz i haven't seen much including him at all or is it just me???? nvm it's worth a try
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♡ Lyney
-i think he would just accept it at first
-like "they don't trust me? well shit— i can't do anything about it"
-but lynette didn't want her brother feeling so sad because he'd annoyingly complain to her until they both died
-and she decided to kinda reassure him by saying that even tho the chances of you trusting him are low, doesn't mean that they're gone entirely WHICH MEANS there's still hope
-this makes him feel at least a bit better and that's when he actually starts making an effort
-he practices EXTREME and DANGEROUS magic tricks just to show them to you, not on any magic show for anybody else to see.
-extreme as in basically shoving a huge sword down his mouth, or as in literally throwing arrows in the sky, so that when they fall, they perfectly line out his silhouette, not hurting him in the slightest. because to him, apparently:
-near death experience=trust
-up to you if you trust him but honestly if i was that distrustful reader it wouldn't help lmfao
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
✿ Tighnari
-i feel like he wouldn't be super interested in winning you over
-since like you literally don't trust him enough so what's the point
-but just MAYBE he'd try at least something
-he will try to win your trust by reassuring you when you need it, letting you know that you CAN trust him
-and that he's not a jerk or coward that would have ulterior motives
-so instead he doesn't rush you and lets you do what you wish
-even if you end up telling him to plainly 'fuck off' in the end, he'd be a little disappointed in himself but also he'd just accept it
-he won't force you into anything
-so in the end it'll all be up to you
-cuz he will do his best to show you that he won't hurt you in any way, and that he's loyal and trustworthy enough
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
๑ Cyno
-happy 1day late bday to him he's literally my 2nd/3rd fave
-i think when you explain to him that you fear getting into a relationship at all for whatever reasons, he says he understands but will definitely subtly try to win you over
-telling you random jokes every day hoping that it would maybe help in earning your trust
-subtly showing you he has no evil plan by being there for you when you need it
-he'll ask tighnari for advice, and the advice he will get is "how am i supposed to know? appear more trustworthy i guess? make better jokes?" to which cyno will listen but that's already what he's trying to do on his own
-he'll ask to spar with you, trying to earn your trust in yet another way
-he feels reborn when you even slightly smile at his jokes btw so yeah
-soon enough, you catch on that he's trying to make you trust him.
-and after that, in the end, everything's up to you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
✯ Sethos
-is it just me but i love him sm i swear
-he will be persistent.
-understanding but persistent.
-not as subtle as cyno, but he will do it less often than cyno just because of the subtleness in the whole thing
-he'll definitely invite you on a walk with him throughout the desert like a few times a month
-loves it when you say 'yes'
-he will joke around with you, and make inside jokes with you, hoping that it means something to you
-maybe he'd ask you to spar together but would lose himself if you actually agreed(in a positive way ofc lmao)
-he's hoping so fucking much that he's presenting himself as loyal as possible to you
-if you don't want him in the end, that's completely fine with him
-but if you accept he'll look pretty much chill and happy with it but his brain and heart will be a mess lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
was sethos ooc???? idk
do i care?? yes (a lot, in fact)
either way i'm alright with how i wrote this
| @mariaace <3
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jinxs-gf · 9 days
Text
chuck’s favorite regular
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jinx x bartender!reader
summary: it’s your first night working at The Last Drop. the stories of jinx being an…interesting customer are true
content, warnings: bar & drinks? jinx calls r ‘toots’, idk how much I like this writing style (bear with me now)
word count: 1.1k
a.n. this was requested but the ask disappeared 😭
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It was your first night bartending at the Last Drop. Silco's bar. He owns a lot of them, close to owning all in the Undercity. This one just so happens to be special. Previously the Hound of the Underground's place. Now Silco proudly resides inside it.
Your future bartending partner, Thieram warned you about your boss's daughter. How she was a wild card and if you happened to get caught in her wrath there was no escaping until she decided to let you out. Not unlike a spider's web, you could only hope she'd let go and not eat you alive. To have mercy.
Though he insists Jinx has none.
He's...kind of right you decide. She's not done anything crazy yet. But she gives off this certain energy, one that screams be careful, to not turn your back on her.
She looks fairly innocent at the moment, at least compared to the bar that's in full rage. Loud music, dangerous games, dancing bodies...who could believe this is the girl that torments Thieram on the daily? Maybe she won't be so bad...
You’re contradicting yourself you realize. It's only your first time meeting, you shouldn't set your opinions on her just yet
She sits on the bar table, kicking her legs and looking at you expectantly.
You gulp, "Can I uh...help you?"
"Yeah you can, toots. Mind getting me my drink?"
Dammit Thieram. He didn't tell you what she orders. He spent so much time warning you about her yet he couldn't simply give you what she drinks?! What if she gets upset that you don't know and unleashes her-
"Earth to toots! Yoohoooo" her hand is shaking aggressively in your face, snapping a few times.
You stand in your spot, completely dumbfounded, eyes wide and pulse jumping.
"Uh...what is your drink?" Your voice is meek and careful (and a bit shaky), you felt as if you were poking a bear with a stick. Stupid stupid stupid.
Jinx cackles suddenly and very loudly.
"You crack me up, toots. It's only blood in a bottle."
She drinks blood?! Thieram! How could he not mention-
You try to be as nonchalant as possible despite your own blood running cold.
"So you're like a...vampire? Or-"
She laughs in your face once more, "Oh you poor thing," it's said quite mockingly, "it's a joke! You were totally convinced!"
You blink your eyes once, twice, and shake your head. As if it'll erase the image of a blood sucking Jinx. Your blood...from your neck. A very graphic image your mind unfortunately conjured up.
As if she wasn't intimidating enough, knowing she's loaded with guns and bombs at all times. Imagine if she was a vampire?! You'd be doomed.
However, you were curious now, what if she did have fangs? Maybe you could get a peek-
"My drink is the bottom cabinet in front of you. It gets a special place for Chuck's favorite customer."
Chuck?
You squat down in search for her drink, reach for the lone bottle, "Oh um, who?"
"Oh you've got to know Chuck! He's hilarious! A friend of mine, not my best friend of course. He's a little weird—you can tell him I said that."
You nod along, terrified of the blue eyed menace (one of the many nicknames given by Thieram, you agree. Though even thinking it worries you, what if she can hear your thoughts?). Speaking of Thieram—oh! That’s who she’s talking about.
"You two must get on well," if the man in question's stories were anything to go by, you'd say they didn't get on well. He doesn't enjoy her company, but she certainly enjoys his. By tormenting him.
You only hope you don't land in the same boat as him.
"Oh we definitely do, toots. Who’da thought a girl like me could befriend a scaredy-cat like him? I'd say we'd make good friends too someday. Maybe tomorrow!”
"What's that supposed to mean?" Because to you it sounds like a threat. If you become a good "friend" to her like Thieram is, does that mean you'll get the same treatment? And as soon as tomorrow?! You've barely worked at this place for a few hours and she's already planning on tormenting you by tomorrow!
She doesn't answer your question, instead pointing to (what you assume is) her cup. If the colorful scribbles were anything to go by. And a straw lying right next to it. At least you didn't have to go searching for those.
You nod, gulping. You're hoping to please her, not get on her bad side.
Jinx brings her feet up the counter, crossing and holding them with her hands, rocking playfully back and forth.
She’s dangerously close to the edge, one miscalculated move and she’ll go splat onto the sticky floors.
Maybe it’ll knock some sense into her? Okay that’s rude.
You quietly hand her the drink, plopping the straw in.
Jinx jumps down the counter to sit on the stool, hunched over the bar table to sip. She dramatically smacks her lips, as if taste testing. You’ll admit you were a bit nervous, what if you forgot something in her drink? What if you poured it in wrong the wrong way? Would she get upset over that?
After a few seconds she smiles and nods manically, “10 out of 10! You pour a good cup o’ juice, toots.”
You breathe out relieved, deciding to play along, a little humor could ease your anxiety surely, “Thanks, am I already better than Th- Chuck?”
"You're certainly prettier than he is."
"Oh."
You blank, unsure of what to do with that information. Be flattered? Terrified? Or is she being sarcastic? You continue to play along,
"Flattery will get you nowhere," you joke and only hope it lands.
"It'll get me a free drink," she wriggles her eyebrows.
"Don't you automatically get free drinks? I heard the last guy that asked you to pay mysteriously disappeared."
"You heard right, toots."
You gulp for the—how many times have you done that tonight? She's great at making one sweat.
“It was great getting to know ya toots, but I’m a busy girl. Gotta bounce—think you’ll be okay? Ya know what? You seem like you can hold your own, here—just in case!”
Jinx goes in for a rough hug, and it’s over before you process it at all.
But wait—what was that noise behind you? That sudden weight on your back…
Uh oh.
And explosion goes off on you, and for a second you think it’s over.
But no, it��s simply a colorful, glitter bomb. The damage is done though, you’re sweating at your hairline. And your poor heart, it’s practically begging to run out of your chest.
There’s a note left on the counter, is it too hopeful to think it’s a ‘sorry for the bomb I just planted on your back’?
Nope. It’s simply a winky face in purple ink.
And you can't help but wonder...is she flirting with you?
How sick and twisted.
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first time meeting and already down bad for each other? hmm
the request:
Reader is a newly hired bartender that Silco hired. One night it's the usual busyness. Loud music, shimmer people, etc etc. Similarly to "chuck" Jinx enjoys fucking around with them. Little powder bombs and stuff like that.
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adams-angels · 8 months
Note
ÓHi, could you smut Adam x fem Reader he has sex with Lucifer's wife
💖 I can certainly try! I had alot of fun writing this one idk why? I think I went slightly off topic but hopefully it's okay!💖
Revenge 😈
Adam X Lucifers wife!reader
💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖
Smut below the cut! Minors dni
Extermination day. Every year it's the same. Your husband always disappears a week leading up to the events and then a week after. You're already lonely since he spends most of his time making ducks. It was cute at first and now it's just annoying. You want attention. Any kind will do at this point.
You walk out onto the balcony looking down on the carnage that's destroying hell. You see a sinner nearby. "Oh, hello! Come inside you'll be sa-" a spear pierces through the being. "Shit." You grumble to yourself, leaning on the railing. "Awh, don't look so glum, slut." You didn't know why but he always visited. He'd always tease you about being alone the most dangerous time of year.
You roll your eyes at the voice. "hello, Adam." Groaning as you look up to the giant in mid flight. "What's up, babe? Luci left you alone and helpless another extermination day?" His obnoxious smile covers his face as he hovers above her. You push yourself off from the balcony railing, crossing your arms as your glare at him. "I'm not "helpless" Adam." You declare. It's true, you survived many extermination days before you married Lucifer.
"oh? What's stopping me from killing you right now then?" Adam asked, he thought he was so smart. "I don't know," you shrug. "why don't you tell me? I'm leaving myself wide open here, yet you're just..." You gesture to his body in flight. "There." He blinked. You could tell his little man brain was going into over time trying to find an excuse. "How abou- you just- argh!" He swoops down placing his hands on the railing, facing now inches apart. "Why don't you just fuck off and die!" He yelled. "Why don't you do your job and kill me?" You replied with a smirk.
He growled. "Won't your little friends be like, pissy, that you're sparing me?" You tilt your head with a smirk. "Won't your little husband be like, pissy?" You were confused. What did he mean by that? Before you knew it he closed the gap between you both and kissed you. Nothing fancy, a quick peck. He pushed himself away, both of you stared at each other like a deer in headlights.
You were only brought back to reality when Adam screamed and flapped his wings, blowing wind in your face. "AHH! FUCK YOU! WHORE- DIRTY FUCKIN- DIE, BITCH! I HATE YOU!" He yelled as he flew away, tripping on nothing as he headed back into the blood filled city. You touch your lips. Did that really just happen?
You head back into your marital bedroom. "What the fuck.." you mutter to yourself. You want to feel guilty, you really do. Lucifer is a good husband, but to be touched.. kiss. Fuck. From that moment on Adam consumed your thoughts. You longed for the next extermination day.
The year dragged. You just wanted to see Adam again. You wanted to fluster him. But the day was the day. You dressed up for it. God, it was sick you were excited for this disgusting day but it would be the only time you see him. Putting on your best little black dress you head to the balcony and wait.
The heavens open so it was only a matter of time before he'd come. At least you hoped. The day went on, you heard the screams, the pleading, the cries. All day. You usually last a couple of hours but all day was a bit much. You kicked nothing on the floor, frustrated that you let yourself believing he would return to you. You were a sinner. That's all he ever saw you as, that's all you ever will be to him.
You open the door to return to the bedroom but freeze. "Sup, sugartits." Adam. He wasn't sounding insufferable as usual. "What? Missed me?" Your turn to face him. He was right by the railing. His cocky smile was a cover up, that much you could tell. You step closer and slap him, hard. Good thing you're not a fallen angel other wise his mask would or cracked. "Hey! What the fuck was that for, bitch?!" He yelled in your face. In response you grab his collar kissing him, aggressively.
"I want you." You tell him, asserting your dominance. "O-okay.." his response surprisingly timid. You take his hand and lead him inside to your bed. Turning around a photo of Lucifer. "Yeah, that'll help with the guilt." Adam teased with a smirk, his narcissistic tone returning. "Shut up." You hiss, climbing on top of him, straddling his lap. "Mask off." "How did you kno-" "I'm not dumb, dickweed. Off."
He peels off his mask, he's a lot more handsome than you thought he was, still had that fucking grin. You move into his neck, gently kissing to gauge a reaction. You feel his member hardening underneath you. "You ready to get fucked by the first dick created, babe?"
"you know technically you're not the first dick created. You're the first human dick, sure but not the fi-" you're interrupted by his tongue down your throat. "Maybe shut up, yeah?" He mumbled in the kiss. Your tongues explored each others, as he gripped onto your hips lifting you up slightly to remove your panties to discover you're not wearing any. Pulling away from the kiss "Really? Someone's desperate?" He peppered your neck in kissed. "S-shut it."
He snaked his arms around your waist and flipped you into the bed. He towered over you. Why did God have to make the first man so tall? Hell, who are you to question?! You like it. You help him take off his robe and admire his body. It's pudgier than you were expecting, but you're not complaining. "Like what you see, sweet?"
He returned to your neck, his tongue travels from your ear down your collar bone to your chest then your nipple. Circling his tongue around it as his hardens. Taking it aggressively in his mouth as his hand travels down your body. Two of his fingers separate your folds while his middle finger prods your entrance. You can't help but gasp at his touch. He knows what he's doing.
As he inserts a single digit in your expectant cunt you can't help but reach for his hair, tugging at his locks. A grunt escapes from him. Slowly he fingers you, using his thumb to gently rub your clit. "Ah- Adam~!" You quietly moan. He releases your nipple and looks up at your desperate face. "Oh, fuck yeah, baby. Say my name." He inserts a second finger inside of you. Curling his fingers up, hitting your stop just right.
"m-more!" You demand. "What did I say?" He Purrs. "M-more, please- Adam, fuck me, please?" You beg, desperate for his cock. "Good girl." He removed his hand which causes you to whine. He adjusts himself between your legs with a smug grin. "W-what? Why do you look like that." You ask, you weren't even sure if you wanted the answer.
"just revenge is so fucking sweet, babe." He doesn't waste anymore time and thrusts himself inside of you. One hand on your waist, gripping so tightly it will leave a mark. "Fuckin' hell, ngh- y/n.." he grunts. It didn't take long before you were biting down on your arm trying to keep the noise to a minimum. He grabbed your wrist pulling it away from your mouth. "Scream for me, baby. Let everyone hear how much you love my cock." It didn't take long until you were screaming in pleasure, he threw your legs over his shoulders to get a better angle on your g-spot. He used on of his hand to hold your hip to get as deep inside of you as he could. His other hand was rubbing your clit. "A-adam, I'm close!" You exclaimed. "Then what you w-waiting for? Cum on my cock, babe." He fucked you harder not giving your a chance to lose your incoming climax. You pull yourself up, wrapping your arms around his shoulder as your walls contracted on his member. Bringing him closer to the edge. His arms wrapped around you as he continued to fuck you with mercy. "T-tell me you love me." He said. "What?" You were taken back by his request. "Tell me you love me! TELL ME YOU LOVE ME!" He repeated as his voice became more desperate. His hips bucked and his movements became sloppy as he finished inside of you. Collapsing on top of you on the bed.
His face in the nook of your neck once again. "So.... "Tell me you love me", huh?" His only reply is a groan of embarrassment.
~⁠♡✧⁠。 I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! 。✧⁠♡~⁠
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thecuriousbeauty · 2 months
Text
Traitor- The Present
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
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Synopsis:y/n is a hard working painter, trying to make the ends meet. She lives with and takes care of her sick Uncle, the only one she has for a family. She has dreams to make it big, and when the desperation for money strikes, she has to make a choice. Walk away after listening to an incredible deal that would fix all her problems, or take up the deal. A top secret, risky deal, which involves meeting Harry Styles.A man once rumored to be a dangerous secret weapon of a leading mafia. artist!y/n x mafia!harry (he's also a doctor)
Word Count: 5,134
Warnings: Mentions of violence. Smut, fingering, slight spanking, dirty talk, possessiveness.
_____________________________________________
"It's been two weeks, y/n. You have two more weeks. I suggest you start doing your job instead of roaming around with him all day.", Romania's voice makes y/n flinch. She was back in the building, sitting in front of Romania. Hans and Oliver were standing beside her like last time.
"I'm gaining his trust. You would know if you have real friends. Even if he remembers, he's only going to tell me if he trusts me enough! And for that, I need time! You can't keep a deadline for things like that.", y/n scoffs out a laugh.
"We give the orders here, Miss y/l/n.", Hans says smoothly, lips curving into a smile. "You agreed to work for us, and you have our money."
"Don't lose hope in yourself, y/n.", Romania says more calmly. "You have made more progress than any of us have. He talks to you, he acts like a human around you. And you have already given us important information about what he remembers and doesn't. That is great."
y/n fiddles with her hands. "I have an idea. I'll tell you that in the fourth week. This week, I want you to really try, okay? Whatever you need to do for that.", Romania tells her and she nods. "You said you'd kill him if he didn't remember. He has two weeks to live if I can't do it?"
"You got that right.", Romania nods with a sigh. "None of us want that, y/n. But it is necessary for our business, and for Harry's safety. He can easily defend himself if he remembers who he was, but if he doesn't, only a matter of time before someone nabs him and makes him suffer for everything he did."
"What did he do?", y/n asks curiously. She knew she was not supposed to ask, but she did anyway. "What did Harry do that people want to make him suffer? It wasn't just gold smuggling, was it?"
"Wouldn't you like to know.", Hans drawls, chuckling as he drank from his big cup. "That's none of your business, y/n. The less you know, the better."
y/n didn't believe them. Harry wouldn't hurt a fly. She looks up at Oliver. The man of less words. He looked at her with his stoic expression, his caramel brown eyes looking at hers as Hans and Romania conversed with her. 
"You would kill your best friend?", she asks him.
Oliver's stone cold expression changed for just a second, into something like sympathy, before it returned to how it was. "If my best friend isn't in there anymore, he's already dead.", Oliver answers. She always got a chill when he spoke. He gave her a final look before walking away, into another room. 
"There he goes, you made Olie angry. Lucky your limbs are still intact.", Hans says, making Romania glare at her. "No one here will hurt you, y/n. He's just joking. Hans thinks he's funny."
"Huh." y/n didn't think they would hurt her, but at this point, she was just confused. She didn't feel safe anywhere anymore. 
"I need more information. Tell me something about him at least. His relationship with Reagen? Something about her?"
Romania leans back on her couch. "They were in love. Love like you've never seen before. Harry would do anything and everything for her."
"Something more personal."
y/n felt something inside of her that made her twist. Was it jealousy? 
"During a mission, Harry ended up being locked in a warehouse and the enemies put it on fire. Reagen killed all of them, before running straight into the fire. We warned her not to go inside. That she could die. But she didn't care. She found Harry, and rescued him before he could die. Reagen wasn't afraid of anything. She didn't have anyone. Harry was her world. They had plans of stopping all this and moving to somewhere remote, away from this. Where they could be in their own world. That night they were smuggling, that was their last mission. They were both going to leave that life behind after that night."
"And they did. But in different ways than they thought.", Hans completes with a sad sigh.
y/n didn't know how to feel after listening. They were like Jack and Rose, Romeo and Juliet, Cathy and Heathcliff. y/n wished they had their happy ending.
"I-I'll try harder.", y/n tells them. Harry at least had to remember the love he had for her, even if it hurts. The love should overcome the pain in his heart.
"Thank you. You can go, the meeting's over. Update me, as usual.", Romania dismisses her. Hans got up to walk her out. y/n thought he was the most annoying out of the three of them, but he was the one that she didn't think five times in her head about something before blurting it out. It was easy to talk to him.
"How close were you to Reagen?", y/n decided to bite.
Hans runs a hand through his straight blonde hair, humming. "Quite a lot of question today."
"I'm curious."
"I was the youngest to be recruited.", Hans tells her. "And I'm not the type that keeps my mouth shut. Much like you, I asked a lot of questions. I got into trouble for that with some of the others, but Reagen? She treated me like a brother." 
y/n looks at him as he stands opposite of her as the elevator goes down. "Reagen taught me a lot of things. She protected me. She was friendly to everyone, always smiling through all the shit she has been through. She was the strongest woman I knew.", Hans looks down, like he was trying to control his emotions. "S-She didn't deserve to die. I miss her."
y/n was good at comforting people. She laid a hand on Hans' shoulder, squeezing it gently. Whoever he was, goon or not, the pain of losing people must be horrible. y/n couldn't imagine what she'd do if Uncle Luke left her. 
y/n steps away when the elevator opens. They get out of the elevator, and Hans walks her to her car. "Is that all, Miss y/l/n?"
"I have more questions, but I don't think you'll answer them. None of my business, is it?", y/n repeats his earlier words and Hans smiles. "Smart. And it's for your own good, y/n."
Hans opens the door of the car for her. He looks straight into her curious yes. "Just finish your task soon, okay? Please. It's all in your hands."
y/n figured there was a deeper meaning to that, and she obviously couldn't ask him anymore questions. He sounded more desperate in his last sentence. 
"Bye Hans.", she says, starting her car.
"See you, Miss y/l/n.", Hans gave her a nod, and watched her drive away before walking back. He wished that she would succeed in her task. He did not want to see anyone's blood being shed. He did not want to see death. He had seen enough.
______________________________________________________________
Movie nights had now been something Harry and y/n did frequently. Today was one such night. Uncle Luke had been doing well. His doctor told her that his blood sugar had been down when she took him to the hospital the day after his fall. Uncle Luke even wanted her to call Harry to apologize to him when y/n told him about the incident.
Harry had waved it off when y/n told him about it, saying he has seen it in Alzheimer's patients before. He didn't seem too convinced, but y/n let it go.
"What's your dream?", y/n asks Harry. They were on his couch, and she was leaned to his side for support. Not only for support, he was really warm. y/n was always so cold. Maybe she should ask him about that, she thought. 
"Dream?", Harry hums. "I've never really thought about it. All I think about is moving on to the next day. And my life is pretty stable now. I like it. What about you?"
"You're so boring, you know that?", y/n nudges his ribs and he chuckles, before looking down at her to listen to what she has to say. "I want to find someone who'll treat me like a princess and then run away with him."
"Oh?", Harry laughs at her serious expression. 
"Yes. I want to find a good place that can take care of Uncle Luke, a place where he is happy. I don't think he's happy with me. He's taken care of, but he's far from happy. He's lonely. Once he's settled, I'll fly to Italy with my person and live my life there. Of course I'll visit Uncle Luke once every month, make sure he's content."
"Italy.", Harry murmurs, a dreamy look in his eyes. y/n purposely put in Italy wanting to know if he remembers his life he planned with Reagen, before their accident. They were going to settle in Italy, if what Romania told her was right.
"Have you been to Italy?", she asks, feeling his warm hand rubbing her side gently. 
Harry closed his eyes and nodded. "I think so."
"You have? Did you go alone?", y/n pipes up.
"No..I had someone with me..I-I don't know who. It was nice, warm and beautiful. So beautiful."
Harry looked so peaceful as he tried to remember the memory. It must have been a good one, because he didn't appear to be straining and flinching while he tried to remember, like he had when she tried to ask him about his past before. 
"Was it your lover?", y/n pushes it. Harry opens his eyes, they were looking dark and stormy green. "I said I don't know, y/n."
She nods, patting his shoulder. "Sorry. Do you wish to go there again?"
Harry gives her a small smile. "I think I'd like that. I don't want to go alone, though."
"You'll take me with you?", y/n's eyes glint in excitement. "You'll take annoying little me with you on holiday?"
Harry laughs, pulling her into his body, fingers digging into her sides as he tickles her. He loves to hear her giggle. "You're not that annoying. And I never said anything about taking you, I could take anyone."
"I got you to admit! And you have no friends except me! Ah-stop!", she says while giggling and squirming on the couch as he attacks her. 
He tickled her until she's gasping for breath, cheeks flushing red, and a beautiful smile on her lips as she looks at him. She was trapped under Harry's body. Harry leans in, one hand on her hip and the other hand gently moves her hair out of her face. y/n feels her heart, beat out of her chest as his fingers touch her skin. 
His eyes move to her plump pink lips, and hers move to his. They're so close, y/n can feel Harry's breath on her face. He looked like a sculpture, his features were all perfect. His beautiful prince like hair, his sharp cheekbones, his smile. She felt like he came straight out of Olympus. She doubted if he really was a Greek God. Maybe Apollo? Apollo is the healer. But Apollo is full of sunshine. Harry had this eerie mysterious air clinging to him.
Harry leans closer, and y/n's hand moves to the back of his neck. Just a taste. She wanted to know what he tasted like. She knew it was wrong. She shouldn't be doing this. 
But she couldn't resist, and neither could he.
Harry closes the space between them, his lips enveloping hers. y/n's eyes close as they kiss so desperately that their whole body curves into one. Their foreheads pressed together, and she felt like she was dreaming. She had to be, right? 
Harry left her breathless again, this time not from tickling as his lips lift away from hers, his eyes searching hers. "H-Harry, we shouldn't-", she begins to say, and he kisses her again, biting down on her lower lip, then soothing it with his tongue as his hand travels to her hair. 
Fuck it, y/n thinks, and pulls him down on her with the hand on the back of his neck, parting her lips to let his tongue explore her mouth. She needed this. Harry's fingers slipped inside her shirt, travelling up from her stomach to her chest. His large hand cups her left breast over her bra, and he squeezes, making her moan into his mouth. 
After the attack of his mouth on her lips, leaving both of their lips red and swollen, he moves his lips down to her neck. 
"Can I?", he whispers, fingers finding the back of her bra, and she nods arching her back so he could take it off. Her fingers reached for his shirt, and he lifts his arms for her to take it off and she throws it somewhere in the room, ecstatic with pleasure as Harry's lips attach to her neck again. 
y/n knew Harry was a well built man. But she didn't expect to see the perfectly sculpted abs he had hidden beneath his shirt. She felt up and down his chest and his abdomen, he felt firm, but his skin felt soft. She moans as Harry's fingers roll her nipple before giving it a pinch. "P-Please Harry.."
"What do you want baby?", she hears Harry's hoarse whisper and sees that his eyes are darker, with lust. 
"Y-You..", she whispers back, and he scoops her up, her legs tucking around his waist as he walks them to his bedroom. He pulls off her shirt, leaving her breasts open to his attack as his lips find hers again. He smooths his hand over jeans clad ass, giving a hard squeeze to one of her cheeks before laying her down on the bed, her back hitting the bed. 
"You are gorgeous.", he mumbles, eyes raking over her breasts before his fingers reach for the button of her jeans. 
"Y-You too.", y/n offers the compliment back, cheeks reddening as he gives her a wink. She raises her hips so he can slip the jeans of her. He attaches his lips to her right nipple, while his left hand palms her other breast and his right hand runs down her leg, feeling her smooth skin. y/n's fingers rake down his back, loving the feeling of his muscles under her touch.
"Will I find you wet, darling?", Harry asks once he's happy with the assault on her breasts. y/n was already going to the edge. This man was making her crazy. 
"Why don't you find out?", y/n whispers back smartly, and he hums, bringing his hand to cup her heat, before parting her panties, and slowly moving a finger over her folds. y/n moans, her hips bucking into his hand. 
"Hmm..you're dripping.", Harry chuckles, feeling her sleek wet folds. Her thighs were starting to get covered in them too. 
"H-Harry..", y/n whimpers, begging him to do something. 
"Want me to take care of you, baby?", Harry grazes his teeth on her nipple, hearing her moan out a yes, before slipping his digit inside her. He quickly takes her panties off, and removes his finger making her groan. 
"Let me see you baby.", he says, spreading her thighs apart. "Such a pretty pussy. You're gonna let me ruin it?"
She didn't answer, quite mad that he pulled his hand away and he placed a sharp slap on her thigh. "Answer me."
"Fuck..yes, ruin me.", she gives him a smile that makes him groan, and two of his fingers slip inside of her, fucking her hard and fast. She gasps, hands curling over the sheets. 
Harry's fingers expertly find her g-spot, and she feels herself slipping over the edge. "I-I'm gonna cum.."
"Yes, baby, let me taste you..", Harry watches how well her pussy takes his fingers. y/n reaches her high, and cums all over his fingers. Harry brought it to his lips and wipes them clean while y/n comes back to Earth. 
"I-I think I saw heaven.", she whispers, and Harry smirks. "Not yet, baby."
y/n brings him back for a kiss, tasting her on his lips. "I want you inside me."
"How do you want me? Nice and soft? Or hard enough that you can't walk tomorrow?", he murmurs in her ear, placing a soft kiss on her earlobe.
"Hard. Don't you want to ruin me?", she challenges.
"Challenge accepted.", he twists one hand around her hair. "Turn around."
y/n turns around, and whimpers with pleasure as his rough hand squeezes and feels her ass. He slips a pillow beneath her hips and she hears his jeans come off, and the rip of a condom as he slips it over him. 
She turns her head to see. He was big. So big. She was scared whether all that was going to fit inside her.
"I-Is it gonna fit?"
"We'll make it fit.", Harry leans over her body. "You ready?"
"Yeah."
He pushes into her, holding her hip with one hand, and his dick with the other. He gives her some time to adjust, slowly pushing in until she was full and he was all in. 
"Y-You can move.", she strains out, groaning into the pillow. "Please."
"I want you to scream for me, y/n.", Harry whispers. "You'll always remember how good I make you feel, won't you?"
"Yes.", she hums. "Are you all talk or are you gonna do something?"
She screamed as he began moving in and out of her fast, and rough. She held onto the bed rest, and his hand pressed her face into the pillow. "You love to talk, don't you? Try talking now, baby."
She yelps as his hand comes smack down on her ass, before it rubs away the sting. "You drive me fucking crazy. Why are you doing this to me?", he grunts, before pulling her face up by her hair. 
"H-Harry..", she moans out his name. "That's right. That's the only name that will ever come out of your mouth, you understand? After I touch you, no one else is allowed to. You're mine, you've always been mine, and this pussy is mine, isn't it?"
Tears of pleasure run down her cheeks, as she moans in reply, and he gives her hair a tug. "Shit, you feel so good. So tight. It's been long isn't it? Since this little pussy has been to use?"
"Uh huh..", she can only make sounds at this point. Harry flips her over, holds her legs open and fucks her mercilessly. "So pretty, you look so pretty like this, cumming all over my cock."
His lips met hers, and he kissed her softly, in contrast to what his dick was doing. "H-Harry..I need to cum.", she manages to let out, feeling herself slipping over the edge again. 
"I won't l-last any longer.", Harry moans, and they both release together. She feels him clench inside of her, before letting go.
y/n sees stars. She feels the waves of pleasure go through her like she has never felt before. She felt like she was on fire. A fire of pleasure. It was too much, but it was so good. It was wrong, but she couldn't help it. It felt so real, so right, like it was always meant to be. 
______________________________________________________________
y/n wakes up with the same dream. She was expecting to wake up in her little bedroom, but she was in someone's arms. Someone's strong arms were wrapped around her middle, soft breathing fanning down her neck. She moved her hand to cup Harry's cheek, feeling the rough but softness of his stubble under her palm. 
What had she done?
She made a promise to herself that she wouldn't let her feelings grow and she wouldn't take it any further than friendship. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought about what she was doing. She was hurting someone else's feelings. Harry obviously felt the same way about her, but he doesn't know that she's just a pawn in someone else's game. 
It no longer was just a game for money. Harry was in her life now. Harry was important to her. She couldn't do this anymore. Next meeting, she would tell Romania the truth, that she's developing feelings for Harry and that she can't do this anymore. She'll fall on her feet and request for some time to return all the money she had been given. She'll promise to keep her mouth shut about everything she'd learnt, and she'll leave the country with Harry. Somewhere they cannot kill him. He didn't deserve to die. 
Then she thought about Reagen. Would she be cursing her from above for taking her man? Or would she be happy that he found someone else? Did Harry once kiss her like he kissed y/n?
All these thoughts kept y/n awake until the early hours of the next morning. She fell asleep when it was 4 am, when Harry pulled her closer with his arm around her waist, left a soft kiss on her temple and buried his face deep in her neck. This was home. This felt like home.
y/n woke up a few hours later, to the smell of bacon. She looks around Harry's room. This was the first time she was in it. Of course she didn't get time to observe it last night. A guitar hung on the wall, and his room was plain. No pictures. 
She thought to look into his bedside drawers to find something. Something that told her that this man was not the man she was believing him to be. She quickly rummaged through his drawers, finding only papers, phone stuff, nothing interesting.
Then she finds a small velvet box. She opens it, and gasps when she sees the diamond ring glinting back at her. It had to be an engagement ring. She hears footsteps and quickly puts it back, getting back in bed.
"Good morning.", Harry smiles at her, still shirtless but wearing grey sweatpants. He looks beautiful in the sunlight, his morning skin glowing. 
"Good morning.", she replies back, her voice coming out a few pitches higher because of the surprise of what she found. "I smell breakfast."
"Yes. Come on, let's eat." Harry leans down to cup her face and give her a soft, gentle kiss on her lips. "I'll be right there.", she tells him.
Harry nods, and leaves the room. y/n breathes a sigh of relief, glad he didn't notice that she had totally searched his room. She freshened up in his bathroom, she had worn just his shirt for the night. It came up to her thighs. 
y/n had a splitting headache from everything. Her sleep deprivation, her constantly running mind, her guilt, her feelings for Harry, she wanted to scream.
y/n joins Harry in the kitchen, and he had already plated both of their plates. Bacon piled high on a plate of toast, and a runny egg. Just like how she likes it. He had poured coffee out for her too. She likes to drink coffee in the mornings. It helps to keep her awake for the rest of her day. She takes a sip of her coffee, and sighs. "That's perfect."
Harry smiles, pulling the chair back for her to sit. "What's on your list for today?"
"Same old. Cafe, studio and back home.", y/n replies. "You?"
"Same old. Hospital, patients, back home.", Harry says in the same tone, and it brings a smile onto her face. "Staying over tonight?", Harry asks hopefully.
"Um..I don't know Harry, I'll have to see how Uncle Luke is, I did leave him alone last night.", she says, and Harry nods, understanding. He moves one hand to place over hers. "Just so you know, I haven't been so happy in a long time. I'm glad you came into my life, y/n. I'm not just talking about last night."
y/n feels even more guilty, but she paints a smile on her face. "I could say the same for me." She was honest about that. Harry brought a change in her life, a breath of fresh air. Breakfast was delicious, but y/n didn't have an appetite.
Maybe because you're eating up other people's futures and trust, said her mind voice.
"Are you okay?", Harry's voice makes her look up at him as he stands in front of her. He had just finished eating and washing his plate. 
"Y-Yeah, just a headache..", y/n mumbles, bringing a hand to her forehead. Harry gently lifts her chin up and brings her hand down, before his eyes scanned her face. 
Did he know that she looked through his things? 
"Did you sleep well last night?", he asks, thumbs rubbing the skin under her eyes. 
"Um..no, not great, I had dreams.", she decides not to lie entirely. He must have understood from her face that she didn't sleep well. 
"The same dream you had that day?", he asks, and she was surprised he remembers about that. He pulls back her lower eyelids, like they do at the doctors. 
"Yeah.", y/n couldn't help but let a small smile escape. "What do you think, Doctor?"
"I think you should get some help about your sleep schedule. You always look tired, love. I noticed it before, but I didn't ask you. Are you getting at least five hours of sleep every day?"
Definitely not. y/n shakes her head and Harry sighs. "That's not good."
"It's just stress..Harry, I'll be fine.", y/n takes his hand as it left her cheek. "What are your dreams about?", he asks, his eyebrows furrowing together.
"It's the same thing always. Blood, broken windows, I hear people running, crying, and a gunshot.", y/n describes to him. "It's weird."
"Huh.", Harry thinks about it while he goes to rummage through his medicine cabinet. "Why do you think you see the same dream over and over again?"
"I think it maybe something about my parents.", she shares, she had never shared this with anyone before. "I'm not sure."
Harry nods, coming back with a small white pill and a glass of water. "Here, for the headache. Wake me up next time, okay? And you should see a Doctor."
"Can't you help me, Doctor?", she asks, and he smiles. "I can help you relax but I can't prescribe you sleeping pills without an actual appointment with you."
"How can you help me relax?", y/n was whispering before she could stop herself. 
"Want me to show you in the shower?", he asks, kissing her. 
"Please." y/n puts her arms around Harry's neck, letting him scoop her up.
______________________________________________________
"I can't do this anymore.", y/n tells Sania as they chat while they had their breaks. "Why do they think I can get him to crack? Honestly, I don't even think he's the guy they want. They're obviously mistaken."
"You think so because you slept with him?", Sania asks as she sips her caramel mocha.
"Sania! No. I've known him for almost three weeks now. He is a good man. A good man who helps people. I've seen him for who he is, and last night.." y/n takes a breath. "L-Last night, I confirmed it. That was real, Sania, we have feelings for each other. It wasn't just sex."
Sania squeezed her friend's hand. "Babe, I get it. But I suggest you don't get too attached to him. What if he really does remember stuff? We don't know what he did in the past. He's probably still capable of doing those."
"He wouldn't hurt me.", y/n spoke confidently. She saw his eyes. Those eyes would never dream of hurting her. He genuinely cares about her. "I'm the one who's hurting him. I-I really can't do this anymore. I-I'm gonna tell them."
"What? You're gonna tell Romania and those thugs!?", Sania's voice travels a bit too loudly, and y/n hisses at her to keep her voice down. "What can they do? Romania said she wouldn't hurt me."
"You believe that?", Sania asks. 
"I shouldn't have believed you.", y/n snaps. "It's you who set me up with them and got me into this fucking mess."
"Oh yeah? I only tried to help you, y/n. Aren't you better off? Would you have met Harry if it wasn't for this? Look, I didn't know this was going to get so complicated. I wouldn't have dragged you into this if I'd known. You had a choice to walk away y/n, don't blame this on me."
y/n sighs, closing her eyes and opening them again. "I know, I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do."
"You have one more week, y/n. Try your best. We'll see what happens later. Hang in there for now."
"Romania said she has some plan for the last week which she's sure should make him remember."
"Then you should wait.", Sania agrees. 
"I'm still gonna try talking to Romania."
Sania nods, rubbing her thumb over y/n's hand. "Wanna go grab dinner? Girl's night. You need one."
"I'd like that."
One more week. Little did y/n know that the fourth week was the one that was going to change her life forever.
243 notes · View notes
a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 months
Text
Vaggie: "I can't believe I'm saying this... No. We can't kill him."
Alastor: "Oh I DO believe we can! Between my own illustrious career and your more effective if far less stylish hackjob with those inelegant, messy, uncultured Exorcists, our combined body count at the very LEAST proves that we-"
Vaggie: "Fine. We could, but we won't kill him."
Alastor: "Why EVER not? I brought him all this way, to this dingy back alley, so that we would not sully those TACKY hotel carpets-"
Vaggie: "So Charlie wouldn't see this, you mean."
Alastor: "She cannot POSSIBLY object to what she's not aware of!"
Vaggie: "She'll still be fucking upset when she hears about it afterwards."
Alastor: "Then don't tell her."
Vaggie: "I-"
Alastor: "You are QUITE skilled at that little trick aren't you?"
Vaggie: "Wow yeah, and it worked out SO great for her last time!"
Alastor: "Didn't it? For you certainly it did. She barely takes her hands off you theses days doesn't she. Truely I shudder to imagine what the nights might bring-"
Vaggie: "I brought my spear here because you said you were in danger. I'll make getting a spear in the eye the danger if you say one more word."
Alastor: "Correction! I said I needed help. There is nothing in hell that could leave ME in ANY danger."
Vaggie: "I'm not from hell. Neither was the dick that almost killed you last time."
Alastor: "My point, oh terrifying hotel manager, is that this thing-"
Vaggie: "Don't jab at her ex like that! What the fuck Alastor? You'll leave a hole!"
Alastor: "-he is a loose thread in her life, my dear, and one that might seek to re-entangle himself with her, now the hotel has proven itself not entirely a joke and there is power and influence in Hell on the table, ready for the taking."
Vaggie: "He could also be a fucking ally. Or just a guy minding his own business in Hell-"
Alastor: "Or he could make the hotel HIS business and put YOU out of a job. Yes~?"
Vaggie: "..."
Alastor: "He DID mange that well enough in the past now didn't he?"
Vaggie "... if he can do it better than me, then, fine."
Alastor: "You are gripping your spear rather tightly as you say that."
Vaggie: "I'm trying not to shove it down your throat."
Alastor: "Touching! Oh I DO find you rather amusing my dear, ever SUCH a font of self-inflicted misery and abject, whole-hearted suffering!"
Vaggie: "You bring it out in people."
Alastor: "Don't I? And how I would hate to lose you as a source of daily entertainment!"
Vaggie: "I thought you wanted to kill him to keep him away from Charlie."
Alastor: "Him? Hmmm, no, I doubt he would be an issue. For me."
Vaggie: "Great. So why bother."
Alastor: "To keep YOU around, of course~!"
Vaggie: "You mean, to have something you can tell Charlie I did next time you want her upset and alone and desperate enough to make another fucking deal with you!"
Alastor: "You wound me! Why I would never manufacture such a thing! I didn't need to the first time, did I?"
Vaggie: "... You try killing him, and I WILL stab you."
Alastor: "If you're so worried of entrapment why not head me off and call her right now? Let her bear witness! Or send a, ugh, recording of it directly to her afterwards!"
Vaggie: "How the fuck would that help!?"
Alastor: "Why shouldn't it? Better to ask forgiveness than permission, yes?"
Vaggie: "Oh yeah wonderful idea Alastor, I'll just call her up like- Hey Charlie, guess what sweetie- I did a murder! But you still love me, right???"
Alastor: "She did after the first several THOUSAND."
Vaggie: "That was before I knew her!"
Alastor: "A death is a death. In your case they were all the total destruction of otherwise immortal souls, but in any case,I fail to see how one killing more should make any difference."
Vaggie: "Then you really don't get Charlie at all."
Alastor: "Oho? I 'get' her rather well I think. I got her into Cannibal Town, my dear. I got her to PRECISELY where she is now."
Vaggie: (snorts) "Sure you did."
Alastor: "She would not have the hotel without me."
Vaggie: "Fuck the hotel. If you think our dream is some walls and shitty furniture then you don't get why we're doing this either."
Alastor: "Hmm."
Alastor: "... regardless! Shall we?"
Vaggie: "NO."
Alastor: (sighs) "You are being rather tiresome about this."
Vaggie: "Then you shouldn't have invited me to this creepy wannabe bonding moment thing."
Alastor: "I am TRYING to help you! It feels rather like attempting to prize a poisoned rat carcass from the mouth of that absurd little hotel manifestation you call a CAT."
Vaggie: "Always a compliment to be compared to KeeKee's perfection."
Alastor: "I beg to differ."
Vaggie: "You'll let him go. Now."
Alastor: "Really after I brought the man all the way here, dragging him kicking and screaming through shadows the entire way-"
Vaggie: "Alastor."
Alastor: "-he'll never be the same again anyway at this point. Wouldn't it be so much more KINDER to EnD HIs MISERY~"
Vaggie: "Drop him."
Alastor: "If you insist." (splat)
Vaggie: (groan) "Not drop him LITERALLY into the trash bin-"
Alastor: "Exact words my dear, we are in hell after all. Oh and please DO come crying to me, won't you? When he renews his advances to Charlie, rekindles that old flame, and sweeps her off her cloven hooves with his... well...."
Alastor & Vaggie: (stares at the him)
Alastor: "...I assume he must have SOME merits, somewhere. His well fitted suits, perhaps."
Vaggie: "Charlie... Charlie has standards."
Alastor: "Are we sure?"
Vaggie: "Hey."
Alastor: "Present current standard excluded, of course."
Vaggie: "No, I..." (sigh) "...maybe I'm proof she needs higher standards for dating people, honestly."
Alastor: "Ahhhh. When she dumps you, I hope you will keep in touch. You are so inconsolably self-loathing WHILE in a loving relationship I can only dream of the succulent agonies you will extrude while heartbroken..."
Vaggie: "Who says you can't be a little heartbroken while loving someone." (walking away) "Also, 'succulent'? 'Extrude'?? What the fuck am I Alastor, a fruit gusher candy?"
Alastor: (bangs trash lid down) (following) "Actually I'm afraid I am a bit peckish and was envisioning a delightfully well aged side of venison-"
Vaggie: "Gross."
-night at the hotel-
Charlie: "He WHAT!? Noooo... he didn't..."
Vaggie: "Cross my heart, sweetie. Maybe the fight with Adam knocked something loose in his head."
Charlie: "He hadn't even done any maiming before you got there? He WAITED???"
Vaggie: "I mean emotionally speaking your ex might a kinda scarred from the trip there, but physically? Barely a bump or scratch on him."
Charlie: "That's, that's amazing!"
Vaggie: "Suit was a loss though. Not that that's much of a loss."
Charlie: "Alastor called you AND he waited! AND listened to you! It's like he was outsourcing having a conscious, oh Vaggie that's HUGE! That's- Wait."
Vaggie: "It's a brand new way for him to be a pain in the ass but whatever. Yay."
Charlie: "Wait, Vaggie- What's wrong with Sev's suit? You like MY suits!"
Vaggie: "Your suits look good on you, babe. And best of all they have you in them."
Charlie: "Oh. Heh."
Vaggie: "And I am NOT taking on the job of being that other asshole's conscious. I'm already employed. Plus it's hard enough not to stab him anyway."
Charlie: "What about helping him as his friend?"
Vaggie: "What about him holding out on us until he could get you into making a deal with him sweetie?"
Charlie: "Well. Okay. Yes. He's not... he's still got a ways to go..."
Vaggie: "No shit."
Charlie: "But he COULD have just done the murder and THEN tried getting you involved! And he didn't. He listened when you said no. That's something, right?"
Vaggie: "It's, something alright."
Charlie: "It's improvement!"
Vaggie: "To his morals or his manipulation games?"
Charlie: "We'll find out! But for now..."
Charlie: (scoots closer)
Vaggie: "?"
Charlie: "Maybe, um. Tell me again how you stood between my ex and certain death...?"
Vaggie: "....really? Really."
Charlie: "It sounds like it was VERY cool~"
Vaggie: "It was the lowest effort rescue ever, hun. I think I might have stepped on him a few times. Uh. On accident."
Charlie: "Mm. Still kinda hate him?"
Vaggie: "I'm still open to stabbing him for you if that's what you mean."
Charlie: (giggles) "Only for me though, huh?"
Vaggie: "Sure I, I'll- I'll go do it right now, if you want?"
Charlie: "I've got a better idea of what we could be doing."
Vaggie: "Y-yeah?"
Charlie: "I might have to take my suit off for it, if that's okay~"
Vaggie: "Uhhhh-"
Charlie: "But first!" (hugs gf)
Charlie: "Thanks, Vaggie... For not ignoring Alastor's call, or turning right around and letting him kill someone when he didn't have to. Even when it was my ex."
Vaggie: (melting) "That's just, part of being hotel manager right?"
Charlie: "It's amazing." (squeezes) "I'm so proud of you."
Vaggie: "I just did a normal thing, Charlie."
Charlie: "Not so normal down here."
Vaggie: "Or for an Exorcist."
Charlie: "You're more of a guardian angel these days. Especially days like this."
Vaggie: "...."
Charlie: "Was it hard?"
Vaggie: "...yeah. Sorry."
Charlie: "Then THAT makes me even prouder."
Vaggie: "....thanks, sweetie..."
Charlie: "Vaggie? What's wrong?"
Vaggie: "Nothing. All good."
Charlie: "....."
Vaggie: "I'm good, okay?"
Charlie: "Okay. And I can stay in hug mode alllll night."
Vaggie: "...."
Vaggie: "Look, not to question your taste in ex boyfriends, but-"
Charlie: "Wha- that's what-?"(laughs) "Vaggie, as a lesbian, I really don't think you get to have much of an opinion here!"
Vaggie: "-there has to be SOMETHING attractive about him, right? Something you liked? Or, still like? I mean, we've both got grey-ish skin I guess, and there's the hat thing he wears- you always liked Pentious's hat too- or is the suit thing? I could, they're not that hard to move in guess, I could probably wear-"
Charlie: (kiss) "You look great in anything, Vaggie. And happiest in skirts, which makes them prettiest on you."
Vaggie: "But-"
Charlie: "And I like you BEST in nothing~"
Vaggie: "...."
Vaggie: "That's a lot easier."
Charlie: "Heheheh."
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yusiyomogi · 2 months
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this is the last time i'm gonna interact with this discourse, i promise. i just wanna tell a few things that i've been meaning to tell anyway.
yes, the larger connection you can make between elves and real world imperialism is interesting, canaries are obviously modeled after military forces of imperialistic countries. even if their goals aren't nefarious, they withhold information from local governments, ignore borders and ensure the global power of their own country. the way they deal with the threat also often disregards actual safety of local people, despite their original goals.
but when we're talking about this theme, which is important and interesting, we have to discuss other significant implications of this allegory. like, for example, people from that military force are systematically treated as completely disposable. story itself doesn't shy away from this, even their nickname "canaries" represents how ridiculously deadly their job is - they're expected to die, basically. practice of recruiting convicted criminals to the army because they are desperate and disposable is something that is actually happening in the world right now. recruiting noble kids to the army as an "honorable tradition" to ensure their loyalty and investment in country's politics is another practice that was common in real world. wealthy people are the most dangerous to their government, after all.
if we actually wanna analyze this, we need to take it seriously, not to use it to prove that some characters are "bad" because of it. kui for sure didn't do this, she specifically humanized canaries in her story and showed how participant of the system can be abused by that system (that doesn't absolve them of their wrongdoings though). just how she decided to show racism as something everyone participates in, instead of making some one-note villain characters who are racists. you can have your own feelings about it, but that's how she did it.
the other thing is, if we actually try to analyze it, we can only take it as interesting thought experiment. we can call it "reading through certain lenses". because we're still dealing with fantasy world here. functionally canaries can be seen more as international disaster response, since they don't participate in actual wars. their primary goal is to control and destroy dungeons, which can be seen as analogy to natural or technological disasters. they don't influence local politics, they don't mass murder people, they don't aim to establish their own bases on the territory of the country (at least not at the point we are in the story). so, they are an amalgamation of these two ideas rather than only one of them. we can't have a real analogy to our world, since we don't have the demon that can destroy us all just because some people have tasty desires. that's why working with allegories to real life is a limiting way of looking at the work. it's fine to do it, but it's only one way to interpret it and it's not "the only correct" way. in fact, most authors prefer when their worldbuilding is judged on its own merits.
mithrun does participate in military force voluntarily and it's an important part of his story. it's also important to analyze why he's doing it: he thinks that he's doing a good thing by enlisting to the unit, because he believes that he's the one who can change things. according to adventurer's bible, his main motivation for recovery was what happened in utaya: mithrun could see how incompetent canaries were when they were dealing with the dungeon and the demon, so his thought was literally "if only i was there...", one of the most common army movie tropes.
and he does change things, surprisingly, because we can see that he focuses on efficiency much more than any other elf. he correctly assumes that the faster they deal with the threat, the less casualties there will be. he speedruns the dungeon in 15 minutes, while utaya's investigation took 1 year before it all collapsed horribly, killing a bunch of civilians and soldiers. mithrun does it so efficiently in fact, that even kabru for a second doubts his decision to stop the canaries. mithrun believes that no secrecy is important when the world is at stake, that's why he tells kabru literally everything he knows. mithrun believes that he can change things. he is wrong though.
mithrun is wrong, because he still serves for elven government and they have not at any point demonstrated that they're interested in actually solving the problem for good (for many reasons probably, they're likely still considering that they'll need the demon's power). mithrun realized it in the end, when he decided to let laios do what he wants instead, basically giving up on his loyalty to the elves. much more obvious agent of elven imperialism in the story is flamela, because she stays loyal to the government and her queen, even when situation got desperate. mithrun also eventually left his country to live under short-lived races' rule.
so, it's kinda weird and suspicious why some people in the fandom decided to focus on mithrun as "the main agent of imperialism" when they talk about those things. yes, it's interesting to look at him from this point of view, especially if you wanna discuss how he changes through the story, but... do you really care about him as a character or are you looking for a bad guy? because i've seen both.
it's not fans' fault that they care too much about his personal character arc instead of looking at his background and role of antagonist. blame kui for it, because that's what she also decided to focus on in her story. some people just don’t wanna discuss such things, because it seems disrespectful to real life, the other believe that looking at everything in the story through allegory is limiting. i’ve seen people who mentions problematic elements, while respecting the other facets of the story that we all enjoy, and it’s amazing and i wish i could do it as gracefully.
but a lot of people noticed the tendency in this fandom to turn some characters into villains and people have right to be tired of it. the story doesn't do it, so if you don't like it... i'd advise you to look for another story, but you really can do what you want.
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hannieween · 10 months
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reverie | city lights series | h.js
Joshua Hong was many things aside from your hot neighbour—he was a menace, a relentless tease. But most importantly, he was the first guy to ever make you feel wanted. And you were yet to know how dangerous that was.
✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: smut (18+) ✮ word count: 16.2k ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, neighbors with benefits
› part i — link to my other fics
›🎧: best lover - bibi | thirsty - taemin | crazy like you - chungha, bibi | poison - nct dream ♡︎
› smut tags under the cut
✮ warnings: alcohol use, dubcon: reader is drunk and joshua helps her change to pjs, smut with plot, big dick Joshua, dom Joshua, dirty talk, foul language, praise kink, somewhat inexperienced reader, multiple sex scenes, fingering (f. receiver), oral sex (f, m) guided blowjob, cum swallowing, protected sex, squirting, brat taming: bondage, orgasm control (f), use of toys and overstimulation (f), dumbification, multiple orgasms (f, m), pet names: baby, pretty girl, princess, sweetheart, bunny (hers)
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part ii
"Zero survival instincts," Yen scoffed, "None. Out the window."
"Yen, I'm fine," you insisted. "Nothing bad happened."
She sent you an irritated look. "What if he was a serial killer?"
You rolled your eyes. "He's not, Yen. He's just my neighbor."
"Are you serious right now?" she asked. "The least you could've done was sending me a text: 'hey yen, i'm inviting my neighbour over to fuck me into the next day, don't worry, he's not going to turn me into jerky'."
You laughed at the crude language, your best friend simulating typing on an imaginary phone.
"Shhh, keep it down, Yen," you muttered when you saw people from the tables around you glance at you.
Sitting at a cozy table for two in a charming bar, the atmosphere around him was quiet, with the soft glow of candlelight. The surrounding tables were occupied by couples, either engaged in a romantic conversation or trying to start one.
In the quiet atmosphere, your table stood out as the noisy one, occupied by two women who were indulging in the warmth of alcohol and pastries.
And, truth be told, were quite drunk on red wine.
"If he killed you at least I'd have something to tell the police," she continued with another roll of her eyes.
"But he didn't kill me. We just had sex, that's it."
She looked around your table, and suddenly you could sense that she was really invested. "How was it, then?"
You felt a sudden twinge in the apex of your thighs from just the memory of your last.
"It was so good," you sighed, and leaned on the table. "It was really really good, Yen. The best I had in my life, I think. Yeah, definitely."
"Wow, damn," she muttered, a sly grin appearing on her round face. "Not gonna lie. I'm jealous."
You chuckled. "I'm actually kind of surprised that he accepted, though," your brow furrowed, feeling your cheeks grow hotter in the mixture of being drunk and flustered at the memory. "He is so hot, Yen. Like really, really hot."
"Okay, okay. I believe you," she scoffed. "You know, when I told you to commit to writing sex scenes, I didn't mean to go methodical," she gave you a look and then smiled slyly again.
"What, I felt like I needed to experience the real thing before writing pages about it," you shrugged.
"That's a lame excuse," she said as she swirled her wine glass in the air.
"I think it's working," you leaned your cheek against your palm, your elbow propped up on the table.
"Oh, oh. Can I read the product of your little adventure?" her eyes widened.
"God, no," you recoiled at the thought. "This is just for... inspiration. There's still a lot of things I want to try before finishing the manuscript."
"What—wait a minute," she held up her hand. "Are you going to keep seeing him?"
You blinked. "Yeah, I didn't tell you?" your brow furrowed.
"Do you mean to tell me that you'll be fucking your neighbour until you finish the manuscript?!"
"Yen, it's fine," you shushed. "It's just sex. There's nothing to worry about."
Nothing to worry about. Except there was hardly anything that could take your mind off the memory.
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As you walked to the interior of your building after being dropped off by Yen, all you could keep thinking was to knock on his door. Just go, knock and he'd know. That was your deal.
You have been wanting to do that all week. But you were reluctant about it because you didn't want to come across as needy.
It was now Wednesday, three nights after that night with Joshua. You had slept together, and in the following morning he left.
You stumbled out of the elevator and into the hallway, feeling so tipsy that you almost took a full minute to be certain of which of the doors led to your apartment.
The device on your door was a smart-lock that simply functioned as a key. You didn't bring your keys, so you entered your six number combination.
The beeping noise from the smart-lock of your door indicated that you had only two more attempts left before being locked out of your apartment for the next hour.
You hummed, attempting to keep steady, but couldn't ignore the gentle sway of your body from side to side. Biting your lower lip, you struggled to concentrate, but the effects of the wine bottle were swiftly taking hold.
With a click of your tongue, you stepped back to double check you were standing in front of your door. You were.
"C'mon. You can do this," you hissed to yourself as you tried to enter the combination of your smart lock.
Beep beep. Wrong again.
One attempt left.
"What," you whispered to your lock again.
You tried to rest your head on your door for more stability, but when your forehead landed a loud thud resounded on the hallway.
"Ow," you winced.
Maybe you should ask for help.
No. You can do this. Is a simple stupid lock.
The sound coming from the door next to yours startled you. But you made no attempt to move your forehead from your door, expecting to see either Joshua or his roommate, the latter you haven't met yet.
But the sweet voice calling your name from the next door made you want to sink into the ground and never be seen again.
Joshua doesn't need to see you like this, you said to yourself.
"Are you okay?" Joshua asked, and you jolted to find him next to you, his eyes examining your drowsy ones.
"Um, I can't enter my combination," you mumbled as one of your hands pushed the hair from your face.
"You're drunk," he realized then, his fingers taking your chin for his eyes to survey you, a small smile appearing on his lips. "What did you have?"
Your cheeks were already flushed from the wine, but you could swear a different kind of warmth started burning beneath your skin the exact moment he touched you.
Before you could answer to his question, you take a brief look at him. Joshua wore an oversized gray plaid shirt, a black t-shirt underneath, and light gray sweatpants. A cap adorned his head, hiding his dark hair. You came to the conclusion that, whatever he was wearing, he would no doubt look hot.
Your mouth went dry. "Jus' a bottle of wine," you muttered, trying to brush off his hand but not succeeding.
"D'you have your keys?" he said as you drunkenly tried to enter your combination to no avail. His large hand swatted yours before you could enter any numbers on the pad.
"Keys," you repeated. "Don't think so."
"Let me help you before you lock yourself out," he hushed with his cute smile. "Tell me your combination."
The combination to your smart lock escaped your lips, trusting him with it completely without a second thought. He entered the combination and the lock beeped again, the small light blinking green.
"There you go," he muttered.
"Thank you," you whispered, pushing your door open and turning around to see his face one last time before going to bed.
You opened your mouth, feeling a strange tickling under your skin as you faced him.
"I uh..."
When no other words came out, Joshua smiled softly with a sigh and entered your apartment with you.
"Come on, princess. I'll take you to bed," he muttered and closed the door behind him, taking your hand gently and pulling you to the interior of your apartment.
"Mmkay," you cooed, letting him drag you to your bedroom.
In the darkness of your apartment, you saw him dressed in a way that was atypical of his usual style, almost as if he had thrown on whatever he found first–
"You look cute with a cap," you blurted before you could even stop yourself.
"You think so, princess?" he replied and took his cap off to put it on your head. "You look cute too."
A giggle bubbled up in your chest. "Caps make m'ears look bigger," you slurred.
As you entered your bedroom, you removed the cap from your head and, at the same time, stumbled upon a pile of forgotten clothes scattered on the floor. You vaguely remembered throwing them aside while you were looking for something to wear for tonight.
"Careful," he mumbled, catching you before you hit the ground. "You're tripping with those big ears of yours, bunny."
You burst into high-pitched laughter, which resembled a kid's. As if you had just heard the funniest joke. Joshua smiled as he heard you, an endearing expression on his face.
It made you feel fuzzy inside.
"Why did you drink tonight? What was the occasion, I mean," he asked as he helped you sit on your bed.
He crouched before you and started removing your shoes. Every action was carefully done, nothing was rushed, everything was carried out with delicacy.
"I went out with my best friend to this really fancy bar," you told him with an air of contentment.
"What's your friend's name?" he asked almost a second later.
Then, in the back of your mind where you still had some lucidity, you gathered that he was trying to keep you fully awake as he helped you climb your high bed.
"Yen, Yena," you mumbled.
With a sudden movement, your body fell back against the soft mattress and you gasped. Your head spun rapidly and the rush that ran through your body caused you to giggle.
"Careful there," he cautioned, just as he was taking your socks off. You could also hear him laughing a bit.
"Are you laughing at me?" you whined, your hands instinctively covering your warm cheeks as giggles continued to escape.
"I would never, princess. You're cute when you're drunk," he replied simply.
"Mmm, you don't think I'm ridiculous?" your voice was muffled by the hands burying your face.
"Why would I think that?" you heard him ask.
"Dunno," you mumbled sheepishly. "'m really drunk, J'shua," you slurred.
"I know, bunny," he chuckled. "Where are your pjs?"
You slowly uncovered your face to see him standing before your bed.
"Second drawer," you replied pointing to the drawers next to your bed, feeling your cheeks blaze.
There was no real reason to feel this shy, considering that Joshua had already seen every inch of your naked body. But the idea of him taking care of you took on new meaning in your mind. It made you feel closer to him.
"Oooh, what do we have here?" he said with a cheeky grin.
Then he pulled a pink lace thong, holding it up in the air with his fingers.
"Joshua!" you gasped. "That's not the second drawer!"
He giggled playfully. "Oops, my bad," he said, but continued rummaging on your stuff, pulling out a see-through mesh red bra. "This is really nice, bunny. Will you wear it next time for me?"
You groaned helplessly, but before you could come up with a quippy response, his eyes widened in surprise.
"Princess, you didn't tell me you had toys," he said with a surprised tone, dropping the playful act.
"Stop," you whined with a laugh and turned to crawl across your large bed toward him.
Before you could even make it to the other side of your bed, you stumbled and your face collided with the mattress, making you erupt into uncontrollable laughter.
You heard his genuine laugh resonate through the room, causing a flutter in your stomach, followed by the muffled noise of the drawer shutting close.
"Alright, alright. Time for bed," he announced, and a hand gently flipped you on the mattress. He sat on the edge of the bed next to your body. "I'm going to take your top off, okay?"
You nodded a little too eagerly, and that made him smile with a shake of his head.
"Now don't get any ideas, sweetheart," he said.
Then his hands grabbed the hem of the cute top you wore to your date with your best friend.
As the top came off and you were left under his gaze, you felt as if your whole skin was on fire, every inch tingling with an overwhelming sensation.
But he remained silent. You tried to make out the expression on Joshua's face, while he was deeply focused on his task, giving no signals that he wanted to do more with your body.
"Bra on or off?" he asked softly.
"Off," you whispered, feeling a sudden impatience take over your mind and body despite the effects from the wine still strumming on your ears.
"Kay," he replied in the same tone. "Arch your–"
You instantly arched your back for him before he could even finish the sentence. His eyes examined your face again with a hint of curiosity. 
"I'm starting to think you're enjoying this, princess," he said with a cheeky smile.
When a hand slid behind your back, it was then that you realized he was keeping his touch on your skin at a minimum. Joshua unclasped the pretty bra you wore, his fingers removing the straps from your shoulders without touching your skin.
Something sparked in you when his gaze wandered over your naked skin. Darkened eyes marveled at your tits as your nipples hardened from the bite of cool air and the skin around them bumped helplessly.
A small silent whine bubbled in your chest, your whole body tingling, needing to be sated by his touch. You gulped hard. He noticed.
"Do you want me to continue?" he asked with a gentle tone, so low you barely heard it above the buzzing in your eardrums.
"Yes," you whispered eagerly, looking at his eyes. "I trust you, Joshua."
At that, Joshua stopped and contemplated you. The momentary silence made you wonder if you had said something wrong, and you waited for his response.
But he just booped the tip of your nose.
"Sit up," he commanded with his sweet voice.
He extended his hands out to you to help you reincorporate in your bed so that he could put the top of your pyjamas on your body.
When you lay back on the soft covers of your bed, a sigh came out of you, revealing all the emotions that were bubbling up in your chest.
But Joshua interpreted it differently.
"Don't fall asleep yet. I need you awake for this," he urged with his sweet voice.
For a moment you thought that maybe you looked way too drunk. Perhaps, you felt better than you looked: the sluggishness of your limbs with every movement you made, the heavy eyelids, the clumsy tingling in your cheeks and mouth every time you spoke: all symptoms caused by the wine.
"I'm not sleeping," you said as you blinked slowly.
"Good girl," he muttered.
But the rest of your body was ablaze, desperate for his touch. You inhaled deeply, trying to fill your chest with something other than the desperate need for him.
The room was spinning. Was it spinning a minute ago? Who knows.
"I feel dizzy," you mumbled in a whiny tone.
"Hang on, princess. I'm almost done, okay?" he instructed. Still, you could hear that warmth in his voice. 
With careful fingers, he undid the zipper and button of your pants. You lifted your hips from the bed for him to slide them down your legs effortlessly.
Joshua was piling your clothes carefully on the foot of the bed, you noticed. He folded your pants in half and when he turned to you, he surveyed the lower half of your body, partially naked before him.
His darkened eyes found yours, an unspoken question written in them.
"Off," you whispered before he could ask.
A heavy sigh left him.
"Eyes on me, baby," he instructed again.
Then he removed your white lace thong, with so much care that his fingers didn't even graze your skin. He didn't skip a beat when he was already grabbing the matching bottoms of your bunny pyjamas, sliding them up your legs.
You smiled contently and made a move to sit up on the bed. "Need to wash," you muttered suddenly.
He smiled at the clumsiness to which you lowered yourself to the floor. "C'mon," he extended his hands to you and when you stood, you stumbled backwards a bit.
With his strong hands he helped you get to the bathroom without staggering and stood outside the door in case you needed help with anything, but still giving you the privacy to tend to your needs.
Afterwards, Joshua helped you to get under the sheets and covers of the bed, tucking you in, and then he bent down and placed a sweet kiss on your forehead.
"Such a gentleman," you cooed with a weak smile.
"Here to help," he replied with a pressed smile. "Sleep now, princess. I'll see you tomorrow, m'kay?"
You reached for his hand before he could distance himself any further, stopping him in his tracks.
"Don't go," you mumbled.
He sat back down slowly and placed his hand on your tummy, the mere weight of his hand and the warmth seeping through the fabric of your pyjamas made you repress a whine.
"Sleep with me?" you slurred, clenching the hand that was still clasped by yours.
"You're drunk, sweetheart. I'll come by tomorrow," he said and patted your tummy softly.
"Please? I promise I won't try anything," you mumbled.
You felt your eyes involuntarily welling up a little. You knew it was partly due to the effects of alcohol, yet you also suspected it was because of the emotions you'd been accumulating over the past couple of days.
Looking conflicted, a small guttural groan escaped him.
"Fine," he groaned in defeat.
A smile of victory crept up your face as you did what he asked. He stood from your bed to remove his shoes and the grey shirt he was wearing. You watched him carefully place his stuff on the armchair in the corner of your bedroom.
He lay down beside you under the sheets, approaching you cautiously.
"How do you feel?" he mumbled.
"Better," you sighed softly.
"Still dizzy?" he asked, his eyes hopeful.
"Mm nope," you mumbled, 
Eyeing him shyly, you scooted toward his body and nuzzled softly on the side of his shoulder, feeling his warmth.
"Thank you for taking care of me, Joshua," you said as the scent of his cologne invaded your already overwhelmed senses.
An arm slid beneath your body, pulling you closer to his chest.
"Don't mention it," he replied.
"I didn't ruin any plans, right?" your head snapped back to look at him.
His fingers trailed on the side of your arm, causing goosebumps on your skin at their wake.
"Not really, no," he hummed. "I was thinking about you, actually."
"You were?" you asked in an embarrassingly high pitch tone.
"I wanted to see you, princess," he cooed, moving his head on the pillows to look you in the eye.
A flutter in your stomach took your focus away. Joshua wanted to see you. The way he made it sound was almost as if he missed you.
"Was thinking of knocking on your door."
Oh.
That had an entirely different meaning. Knocking on your door would mean that he wanted to have sex with you.
"You..." you mumbled awkwardly. "D'you still want to?"
Something shifted in your brain. He might have just missed your body, but it was still enough to rouse something within you. The alcohol offered little help, but instead intensified your body's every reaction.
The tingling in your face, the rush of warmth that washed through you, pooling between your legs.
"Definitely not, princess," he laughed softly, putting your ideas to rest. "I won't touch you like this," he finalized sternly.
You let out a whine that sounded more like a childish cry, burying your face in his chest and sighing in frustration.
"It's bad manners to have sex with people who are not sober, baby," he explained, his tone was not condescending, but almost sweet or caring.
"But what if I want to, Joshua," you mumbled, your flushed face still buried in the warmth of his hard chest.
"I'm not going to fuck you no matter how much you beg," he said with a small chuckle.
"But I wan' you to," you whined against his chest.
You were so close to his chest that you felt the strumming of his heart, heard the small sigh leave his body. Your fist scrunched up on his t-shirt.
"You told me you wouldn't try anything, princess," he reminded you sternly.
Joshua took the hand that has balled into a fist, grabbing on his shirt and laced his fingers with yours in an attempt to soothe you.
"Mm, it's jus'—I need you," you mumbled, sneaking a glance in his eyes.
"I'm here, bunny," he muttered softly.
"But I've been wanting to see you all week," you said with a sigh.
Your face grew hotter on your drunken confessions, but you forced yourself to make eye contact with him despite the daze from the wine.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked while the hand that grabbed yours played with your fingers.
"I didn't want you to think I'm needy," you mumbled sheepishly, still trying to hold eye contact, but your eyes were shifty. 
"What?" he asked with a feigned tone of surprise. "I thought we had already established the other night that you're needy. Like, really needy," he laughed.
You scoffed and hid your flushed face on his hard chest again, but he pulled back, his fingers on your chin forcing you to face him.
"I'm only joking, princess," he smiled reassuringly. "Whenever you want to you can let me know."
You opened your mouth but before you could protest, he added:
"As long as you're sober."
You let out a bashful sniffle and pouted.
"Tell you what: if you go to sleep now, I'll give you whatever you want tomorrow. How about that?" he asked, looking down to find your eyes, he let go of your hand and stroked the side of your face softly.
Your eyelids fluttered under his touch. "Whatever I want?" you asked, looking at his rosy lips and then his eyes.
"That's right, baby. Whatever you want," he conceded.
"Mmkay," you mumbled.
You relaxed in his embrace, letting go of your demands at that very moment.
"Good girl," he muttered, pressing his lips on your forehead for a long second before resting his head on the pillow next to yours.
Your cheeks flushed and a fluttering sensation invaded your chest.
"G'night, Joshua," you mumbled a second before you closed your eyes and fell asleep.
The following morning, you woke up to a headache drilling in the back of your head.
You groaned in pain, ears ringing as you opened your eyes to only wince in pain at the faint morning light filtering through the parted door of your otherwise blackout dark bedroom.
Still drowsy you looked to the other side of your bed to find Joshua asleep.
Your breath hitched at the sudden invasion of memories—you had partially forgotten that Joshua had spent the night in your bed with you again.
He was lying on his side, an arm extended to your direction. You had the faint memory of him hugging you close to his frame, so perhaps you fell out of his embrace during the night. 
Joshua's features looked relaxed, peaceful even. His flush lips pursed softly as he swallowed and nuzzled the pillow. The way he looked so cute and innocent made you smile a little. 
With every movement you took, your body protested in pain. But you hurried yourself to the bathroom, taking the time to properly wash and refresh yourself to recover from your hangover.
Under the warm stream of the shower, you mentally retraced the events of the night. The drunken confessions that spilled from your mouth. Joshua's careful hands changing your clothes and helping you to bed.
"How are you feeling?" he asked as soon as he saw you come back to your bedroom, your body wrapped in a bath towel.
He was still lying on his side, but something told you that he woke up the second he heard you leave the bedroom.
"I just have a light headache but I'll be fine," you assured him.
His hand, which was still extended in the same way as when you left, patted the space you occupied during the night.
"Come here," he muttered.
With a sigh that denoted your nervousness, you walked toward your bed and climbed next to him over the covers. You lay on your side, facing him, propping your head on your hand, your elbow on the pillow next to his.
"D'you remember what happened last night? Why I'm here?" he asked, his voice still groggy, but it sounded soft.
"It's not like I was black out drunk," you smiled. "I remember everything, Joshua."
"Jus' wanted to make sure," he whispered.
With a small nod of his head, his eyelids closed slowly and he seemed to dozed off again. His chest rising and falling heavily, his face relaxing to his lips parting a little.
You took a moment to appreciate his beauty before jumping down from your bed, darting your eyes toward the man lying on your bed—to find him asleep.
Then you unwrapped the towel that covered your body. Careful not to make a sound, you busied yourself moisturizing your skin while you cast a few glances at him, making sure he was asleep.
But a few seconds later, you noticed him stir in your bedsheets, his eyelids fluttering slowly as he found you standing before your bed, wholly naked.
Your breath hitched, but curiosity sparked within you when his eyes surveyed your whole body from top to bottom.
Attempting to ignore that he kept his gaze trained on your frame, you busied yourself on looking for something to wear.
"Don't get dressed," he muttered softly when he saw you rummage through your drawers.
You darted a look at him. His sleepy eyes on you, the ghost of a smile on his lips.
"Or do, I don't care. Just come back here," he sighed sluggishly, patting the side of the bed again.
You smiled shyly and climbed back to the spot you had taken a few minutes ago. You slid beneath the bed sheets, next to his warm body.
"You talk in your sleep," he hummed.
Then his hands grabbed you by the hips, with a sharp pull his chest was now pressing on yours, his arms encircling your naked body tightly to snuggle you as if he wanted to sleep again.
It was a sweet embrace, almost too intimate. A part of you couldn't deny you liked it—being this close to Joshua. You grabbed him by the shoulders, uneasy of being fully naked in his tight embrace.
"I–uh I didn't know," you whispered, your heart strumming so hard that you could almost sense that Joshua could feel it against his chest.
Truth be told, Joshua was the first man you had ever slept with. He wasn't your first sexual partner, that much was already disclosed with him—you've had a couple of other partners in the past, but none of them were memorable to even matter.
Joshua was the first to make you feel real pleasure, the first to make you orgasm, to make you feel wanted.
And you were yet to know how dangerous that is.
"What did I say?" you asked reluctantly.
He took a breath, as if remembering and then he let out a breathy laugh. "Bunch of nothings, but you went for hours."
"Oh god," you groaned. "I'm so sorry, Joshua."
"You didn't talk that much the other night," he paused. "But maybe you were too tired the other night to even speak, right princess?"
Your stomach jolted a bit.
"Mmm-mmph. So tired," you agreed despite the growing flush in your face. "Last night's ramble wouldn't have happened if I was tired too."
"Oh, bunny. You think you're so slick. But you're so bratty," he cooed mockingly as his hands explored your bare back, his fingers sinking in the skin of your hips.
"What are you going to do about it?" you asked through a breathy mumble when his hands caused your heart to race.
"Nothing," he stated softly.
A long silence happened between you and Joshua. You almost thought that he might have dozed off yet again, but when you pulled from his embrace, he was grinning menacingly.
"But you promised–"
"I never promised anything," his brow furrowed. "When have you ever heard me say the words 'I promise'? Never."
A frustrated groan came out from you before you could stop it.
"You told me you would do anything I asked today!" you whined, feeling ashamed by his game.
"See, I never promised," he cooed again.
"But you said–"
"And I will do it, sweetheart," he cut in. "But I never specified at what time of the day I'll do it."
"Joshua!" you whined again, feeling the need to cover your flushed face.
He laughed merrily, he was enjoying this.
"I didn't bring condoms," he muttered, dropping the playful smile.
Your eyes narrowed. "You're lying."
"It's true," he put in simply. "Someone went through all of them the other night and I haven't bought more," he emphasized with a cheeky grin, he even shrugged slightly looking as if he enjoyed torturing you.
Which, he probably did.
You were a split second away to throw all away and beg him to fuck you raw. But the last thread of sanity you still preserved in your mind stopped you.
"I forgot to ask," he said suddenly. "Have you made your list?"
You stilled and looked away embarrassed. "Um, I've thought of some things."
"Like what? Maybe we could do something tonight," he replied.
In reality you haven't gotten around making a list of things you want to try in bed with him. Your mind only ends up wandering in sex fantasies of what you'd do and never actually write something down.
"I have some ideas, but I don't know yet," you mumbled sheepishly, darting a shifty glance up his eyes.
The pierced eyebrow arched up. "I'm listening."
A smile appeared on your lips. "You're taking this really seriously," you pointed.
"Of course," he frowned, pretending to be offended. "I want to help my neighbor with her book."
You rolled your eyes with a smile.
"Besides, it's not like I get to do this everyday," he paused. "Well, unless you let me," he muttered, tilting his head forward.
"What?" you asked in a gasp. "Like you don't have people throwing themselves at you at any chance they get."
"Only my pretty neighbors," he chuckled and you playfully slapped his shoulder.
"Seriously, Joshua. You don't get a lot of groupies or whatever?"
He scoffed loudly. "Groupies. What are you, a sixty year old lady in disguise?"
"You know what I mean," you mumbled, starting to feel deeply embarrassed.
"Not really, princess. It's not what you think. I can show you if you want. Tonight," he suggested in a low tone.
The features of his face had hardened, denoting that he was more serious now.
"Tonight?"
"Only if you want to, of course," he shrugged, and you could tell from his tone, the lack of warmth and playfulness that he seemed to be detached.
"I'd love to," you replied and his face relaxed. Was he expecting you to say no?
"Kay," his lips pressed in a smile. "I'll come later to pick you up. And after that we can get into your list, deal?"
"Deal," you smiled shyly, not wanting to express the full excitedness you felt.
You noticed that every time he smiled contently, two dimples appeared crowning his mouth. Joshua sighed and then he cupped your chin with his hand, surveying your face for a moment.
"How's your head, still hurting?" he asked, his other arm still pulling you close to his frame.
"A bit. I'm fine, Joshua. Don't worry," you gave him a small reassuring smile.
"Kay," he whispered and pressed his lips on your forehead just like he did before you fell asleep in his arms.
You felt his lips relax on your forehead but he didn't pull away, his other hand returned to its original place on your waist. You assumed that he was dozing off again, and your suspicions turned correct when his breathing gained more depth.
Then you let yourself be absorbed in his embrace and your hands moved from his shoulders to his hard chest over his t-shirt. You felt the soft thumping of his heart, the slow rhythm of his breathing.
Your eyes darted to his face. He was asleep.
The hem of his shirt hung loose over his collarbones, you felt his soft and warm skin under your fingertips, lost in thought of him. Drinking the sweet scent of his skin and clothes.
Your fingers then wandered from his collarbones to his neck, his Adam's apple bobbed as the pads of your fingers touched it carefully.
But then a larger hand seized yours, pulling your arm above your head as his body pushed your body flat on the bed with a groan. The other hand was seized as well, thus pinning your wrists above your head.
A yelp bubbled in your chest, but when you felt his hard body pressing yours against the bed your curious eyes glanced up to see his face.
But before you could say something, your mouth was clasped with his with a chaste kiss.
"You're handsy," he muttered gruffly on your lips.
The grip on your wrists tightened a bit when Joshua dipped his head on the crook of your neck where he pressed his lips on your skin, to then nibble at your skin with his teeth.
"I wanted to wait 'til tonight but you're so needy. Such an impatient pretty girl," he grunted as his hand grabbed your wrists pressed down on the pillows, making you yelp and squirm.
Being somewhat restrained made you feel restless, but you made no attempt to break free, since you were quickly subdued by the feeling of his breath on the crook of your neck.
"'m sorry," you mumbled just as he started placing wet kisses on your collarbone, making his way to your tits.
"Are you, baby?" he asked, and your eyes fell on his. His pierced eyebrow cocked slightly. "I don't think you're sorry at all."
He let go of your wrists just so he could cup your breasts with his hands and before you could muster a response, he wrapped his mouth on one of your nipples, making you cry out instead.
The feeling of having his hot mouth around your nipple made you shiver, the whole area covered by his tongue and drool felt tingling and ablaze.
Hearing the non-verbal response you made, he moved his mouth to do the same with your other hardened nipple, licking and nibbling at it softly with his teeth. He hummed while doing so, as if he liked the taste of your skin on his mouth.
Your hands quickly grabbed at whatever was nearest, fingers landing on his head as you squirmed and moaned helplessly on your bedsheets. 
He pressed his lips down your sternum and he lowered himself to your belly, his hands parting your legs so he could place his body between them and continue kissing and licking your skin.
"Please-" you whispered as you writhe in pleasure under the touch of his lips.
"Please, what?" he asked as he raised his head to look at you. "What do you want, princess?"
"Do whatever you want, just-" you gulped suddenly. "I need you, Joshua. I've waited all week."
His eyes searched yours, just like he did last night when you were drunk.
"Please," you whispered and that apparently did it for him.
He lowered himself pressing wet kisses on your lower abdomen as his mouth reached between your legs, his eyes darted a look toward yours before his fingers parted your pussy lips carefully, earning a high keen moan from you.
"Fuck. You're dripping," he muttered gruffly as his finger swiped a line on your cunt, making you flinch and moan pathetically. "Practically wetting the bed."
Then his tongue dipped between your parted lips, slowly licking a stripe on your wet folds. You let out a loud moan, grabbing a handful of black hair, making him hum softly when you tugged at it.
Joshua wasn't looking for you to say something, because he quickly continued making out with your clit. You were practically crying out of pleasure when you felt his mouth working on the swollen bud, tugging at it with his lips every time he closed his mouth around it.
You felt your legs shake a bit under the building tension but you didn't budge. A faint voice inside you reminded you to relax, to focus on his mouth kissing your cunt, his tongue swirling around your clit and trailing down to drink you in with a moan.
His hands slid underneath your body and cupped your ass, pushing you up to his face, essentially burying his face between your legs. Joshua's mouth flatly pressed on your cunt as if he were thirsty, ravaging you and humming as he did it.
Then his tongue pressed on your clit, his lips encircling it whole as his cheeks hollowed out, sucking on the throbbing bud. You arched your back, crying out loudly at the feeling of being so close to your release.
"I'm close, so close, Joshua," you whimpered, eliciting a groan from him.
You looked down where his head was nuzzled between your legs and the sight was so fucking good that something in your brain shifted. His dark eyes found yours, and you completely came undone.
The tension in your body snapped, sending waves of pleasure, making your limbs grow numb. You called out his name weakly, your eyes screwing shut at the mercy of the waves seizing your body, making you twitch and gasp in short breaths.
Joshua was moaning just from making you cum. And that could probably send you to the edge again if it wasn't for the new feeling of one of his fingers inside you.
You blinked, feeling dazed and you found Joshua on his knees, his finger plunging in and out of your sopping walls, massaging them gently.
"You liked that, baby?" he asked at the same time he slipped another finger in.
"Yeah," you whimpered. "I've been wanting this for days."
His pierced eyebrow arched up.  "This would have happened sooner if you knocked on my door," he smiled fondly. "But I like that about you—too shy to go knock on my door, but not to ask me to fuck you senseless."
You whined at the same moment his fingers crooked inside you, exploring, looking for your g-spot with the tips of his fingers.
"You like it when I talk to you, right? Your pussy squeezes my fingers whenever I do," he mentioned with a grin.
As if to prove his point, your walls fluttered around his fingers and he chuckled.
"Oh, princess. You're perfect," he muttered gruffly, leaning his body to plant a chaste kiss on your lips.
"God, Joshua," you whimpered, the tension between your legs building up again.
"You wanna cum again, baby?" he asked, grazing your lower lip with his teeth before kissing you chastely.
"Yes. So bad," you groaned, wiggling your hips to get more from his fingers.
"Can you cum on my fingers? Or do you want my mouth too?" he asked, his fingers teasing your cunt, making you feel the drag of his knuckles inside you as he pulled his fingers out and in, making squelching sounds every time he moved his hand inside you.
"Yes, please! I want your mouth too," you whimpered desperately.
His smile was the last thing you saw before he lowered himself between your legs and immediately attached his mouth to your clit. Joshua continued fucking you with his fingers, crooking them to find your g-spot.
"Joshua!" you cried out, your body twitching uncontrollably in your bed. "I'm gonna come, I'm ah-"
Now with his mouth and fingers, the pleasure in your pussy was so much more intense, practically tearing your orgasm out of you as you cried out.
Ragged breaths came out from your mouth, blinking tears weakly as your orgasm sizzled under your skin. Joshua's fingers stopped when he felt your walls relax and slipped out of your sopping core, making you shudder at the emptiness.
Then you were being showered with kisses on your face. You laughed meekly as his lips pressed on yours.
"You're being spoiled, princess," he teased. "Was planning on waiting to make you come until tonight but you're so greedy."
"Mm'm sorry," you muttered weakly.
"Sorry for what?" he asked.
"Dunno," you giggled.
"Are you fucked out already, bunny?" he smiled sweetly at you. "But I haven't even given you my cock yet."
You whimpered and reached for his lips, kissing him sloppily. A moan coiled in your chest when you tasted yourself on his tongue and lips.
Joshua stopped and looked at you with a pleased smile on his face, and a finger caressed your flushed cheek fondly, only to dip his head to kiss you again.
"God. You're so pretty, so fucking hard to resist," he grunted in your lips.
You whined and your hands cupped his face to slot your lips in his. "Please don't," you whispered, your lips grazing with his. "I want more, Joshua. I want you."
His eyes lingered on yours and you could almost see when it clicked in his mind.
"You want me to fuck you raw," he asked with a low tone.
A shiver ran down your spine when you heard his words.
You nodded, biting your lip so Joshua wouldn't notice that you were practically salivating at the thought.
The corner of his lips twitched. "You already came twice."
"But I want you, Joshua. I want to feel you inside me," you whispered, still writhing from your high.
The glint in his darkened eyes made you think that he enjoyed this. Whatever this was: your sanity slipping away at the mercy of Joshua pleasuring you, doing everything you needed from him.
"I can't fuck you raw, bunny," he muttered, pressing his lips sweetly on yours as you whined in his mouth. "It's too dangerous."
You understood that you were clawing at a limit of his, so you backed down. "Okay," you whispered.
"Good girl," he said as his lips captured yours in a heated kiss.
He slumped his body next to you on your bedsheets, resting his head on his hand as the other started caressing your skin affectionately.
"Joshua?" you called. 
"Mm?" he hummed as he appeared to be deep in thought, tracing invisible circles around your belly button.
"Can I-" you sighed when the tip of his pointer finger traced back to one of your nipples.
"Yes?" he asked, smiling when your nipple hardened and then he did the same with your other nipple.
"Can I touch you?" you whispered.
"You don't have to ask," he muttered with a small smile.
The pleased smile that spread on your lips made him chuckle.
You eagerly grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and Joshua understood immediately, sitting up on the bed and took his t-shirt off in one swift motion.
You sat up on your bed sheets—thus realizing that Joshua wasn't exaggerating when he said you were wetting the bed. You ignored the wet stain on your sheets and hooked the waistband of his sweatpants on your fingers.
"Do you want me naked, sweetheart?" he asked, noticing your struggle to undress him.
"Yeah," you breathed, looking at him expectantly.
He climbed down the bed to pull down the sweatpants, he did it efficiently, without making it a show for you but he still looked really attractive while doing so; his strong thighs stepping out of his sweat pants to reveal his hardened length still inside his underwear.
Suddenly you had other plans. You followed him, standing in front of him as he tilted his head to the side. Your fingers tugged at the band of his black underwear, taking it off of him to reveal his fully hard cock.
Then you lowered yourself to your knees.
"I wanna suck you off," you explained shyly, feeling your core pulsate to the mere act of you being on your knees for him.
His fingers grazed your chin. "Have you done this before?" he asked with a low tone.
You shook your head silently, eyeing him and his cock in front of you. Your hands caressed his strong thighs, trailing up to his hips. You realized then that you didn't touch him like this the other night.
One of your hands grabbed his cock at the base, stroking the soft skin of the length to his wet reddened cockhead. It was large and thick, and it leaned to the side a bit. You rubbed your thumb on the slit, feeling his precum leak on the pad of your thumb.
You glanced up at his dark eyes as you took the wet thumb to your mouth, licking his precum.
His breath hitched noticeably.
"I'll tell you what to do," he nodded, then he cupped your cheek, a serious look on his face. "You can stop if you don't like any of it, m'kay?" he muttered.
You wet your lips and nodded. "Okay," you whispered.
"Open your mouth," he instructed gently. You parted your lips and took the bulbous head of his cock and hesitantly placed it in your tongue.
His cock was too big for you to take him deeper, but you experimentally, and almost instinctively, relaxed your tongue under the weight of his heavy cock, wrapping your mouth around the half of the length.
"Breathe through your nose and move your head forward," he muttered and you did so, pushing your mouth on the length of his cock.
"Then back. You don't have to take me all," he instructed, his hands pushing your hair back from your face, caressing your face with his thumbs in the process. 
Whatever he instructed, you carried out without a second thought.
"Good girl," he whispered. 
Hearing him like this only pushed you to focus, despite the throbbing ache between your legs demanding for equal attention.
You discovered then that you liked the act of you taking his cock in your mouth on your knees for him. The walls of your core fluttered and you knew you were getting wetter as you started bobbing your head back and forth just like he instructed.
"That's it, baby. Just glide your pretty mouth on my cock. Fuck, it feels so good, so fucking good," he groaned.
Slurping sounds came from your lips around his thick cock as you picked up your pace. You darted a look up.
When your eyes met, the corner of his mouth curved up. "You look so good with my cock stuffed in your pretty mouth like this," he muttered, his thumb caressing your cheek.
A whimper coiled in your throat that otherwise would have escaped your lips if his cock wasn't stuffed so deep in your mouth. His cockhead was almost gagging you, hitting the back of your mouth every time you tried to push him further.
Drool trailed from the corners of your mouth. You wiped a side with the back of your hand but Joshua quickly stopped you in the middle of it.
"Don't. I like the way it looks," he mumbled, taking your hand to grab at his thigh again.
That made you take mental notes of everything he liked, every reaction you earned you kept in the back of your head. You wanted to pleasure him as best as you could, you made it your goal to earn more pretty sounds and moans.
He shuddered. "Fuuuuck," he groaned faintly again, his voice raspy and guttural.
You glanced up back at him, an idea popping in your head—you liked it when he sucked on your clit, so maybe he would like it if you suck on him too. Your cheeks hollowed, sucking him as you pulled your head back and then pushing your head forward, taking on more of his cock in with each bob of your head.
His head was thrown back, so you couldn't see much of his face. But his throat bobbed when he swallowed and you hollowed out your cheeks for him to moan deliciously. 
"Fuck—shit," he hissed. "If you keep doing that I'll cum in your mouth," he groaned and his hands tightened on your scalp, attempting to pull out.
But you dug your fingers on his thigh, pulling him back as you did it again, bobbing your head faster and hollowing your cheeks harder.
"Is that what you want, baby?" he asked, a large hand cupping the side of your face, thumb tapping you gently to make you look up at him.
You saw the muscles of his jaw twitch when all you did as a response was blink at him twice, nodding your head ever so slightly without detaching your mouth from his throbbing cock.
"Taking my cum the first time you give head—fuck, you're so, so perfect," he sighed weakly.
His fingers clenched on your hair and you knew he was really close because he was breathing out heavily, broken groans. 
"I'll tell you when it happens. Remember to breathe through your nose," he reminded you gently.
You continued moving your head forward, so far that the tip of your nose almost felt his pubic hair, his cockhead bumping the back of your throat, making it hurt a bit. And then sucking on the length moving your head back, breathing in deeply.
Your eyes darted upwards, finding Joshua's face riddled in lust. He groaned, furrowing his brow a bit as his eyelids were fluttering shut and his mouth parted a bit.
"Cumming," he breathed. 
Then he started making the most raw sounds you've heard him utter yet. His moans sounded sweet and raspy, almost as if he were about to start whimpering; all music to your ears. The hand on your hair clenched, hard. Joshua shuddered and with a louder groan his cum was shooting in the back of your mouth.
You moaned with him and stopped moving your head to breathe through your nose, swallowing quickly as ropes of cum filled your throat. It was slightly salty, warm and it was so much of it.
A fiery rush ran down your spine. You enjoyed giving him head and having him cum in your mouth. You loved the reaction he had, the lewd sounds he made, because of you.  
He was breathing heavily—not the way he did when he fucked you into your bed the other night, that was out of exhaustion. This was different, he was heaving, looking like he was elated.
"That was amazing," he sighed heavily once again.
A shudder shook him hard when you sucked on his cock again before pulling it out from your mouth.
"Woah, don't do that," he giggled softly. "Tickles."
You smiled sweetly. "Was it good?"
He bent down to help you up, cupping your face in his large hands to pull you into a heated kiss, you moaned in his mouth as his tongue lapped on yours, probably tasting himself on your tongue.
"The best fucking head I've ever had," he muttered gruffly on your lips.
You laughed.
"I mean it," he nodded, pressing his forehead on yours.
Then Joshua bent down a little and lifted your body up, eliciting a small yelp from you. You quickly grabbed him by the shoulders, wrapping your legs around him.
He gently placed you on your bed and pressed his lips against yours.
"You did really well, baby," he muttered before capturing your lips with his, kissing you softly.
A strange feeling of fulfillment swelled in your chest.
Joshua leaned his head against your chest, seemingly still coming down from his high because when he lifted his head ever so slightly to meet your eyes, he smiled lazily at you.
You returned the smile. Your hand found the nape of his neck and started drawing invisible figures on his bare back. A sigh coming from his lips brushed your skin, making you shiver.
You could get used to this, you said to yourself.
"I have to go now," he muttered, pushing himself from your body. "But I'll come pick you up later, m'kay?"
"What should I wear?" you asked, suddenly feeling nervous at the prospect of going out with him.
"Whatever you want, bunny," he smiled. "You look good in anything... and with nothing at all, too."
A fluttering sensation invaded your chest. You laughed. "Ditto."
He laughed, bringing a hand up to push his dark hair back anxiously. Was he flustered?
He planted a kiss on your lips and stood up from your bed, dressing up quickly. Again, he didn't make a show of it, but you enjoyed watching him nonetheless.
When he noticed your lustful gaze practically eye-fucking him, he smiled. "Insatiable little thing," he muttered, bending down to give you one final chaste kiss. "I'll see you later, sweetheart."
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When Joshua came around to knock on your door, it was eight o'clock.
His black hair was parted naturally in the middle and it looked slightly wet. He wore a white faux leather jacket, white t-shirt and black denim jeans and black boots.
"I'm not ready yet," you told him as soon as he crossed your apartment door.
"I can see that," he smiled, looking at you up and down, noticing the silk robe you were wearing.
"Shut up," you quipped.
Rushing back to your room, you quickly got dressed in the outfit you had decided to wear for the occasion, inferring from the style that you usually saw Joshua dressed in for his gigs. 
Facing the mirror, you thought it was a cute outfit, but nothing prepared you for what Joshua's reaction would be.
As soon as you stepped in front of him, his mouth parted slightly, but was quickly replaced by a smile. He took a step to you, grabbing your hand to pull it up and you understood that he wanted you to twirl for him.
"You're gorgeous," he muttered before grabbing your face with one hand to pull you in a hot kiss.
"Thank you," you smiled sheepishly.
"I brought you something," he muttered in between kisses.
"Oh?" you uttered, being showered by his warm lips.
"But you have to open it when we get back. I just wanted to leave it here before we go," he handed a small black box.
It didn't look like a present, it wasn't wrapped or adorned with anything. You wanted to open it as soon as you took it. It was big enough to cover both of the palms of your hands, and it was somewhat heavy for its size, too.
"What is it?" you asked, looking up to his big eyes.
"It's for later," he replied, you noticed a glint in his eyes.
"Oh," you uttered again, smiling. "What's the reason?"
"Consider it one of the many I plan to give you," he smiled playfully.
You cocked an eyebrow. "Should I worry about what's inside?" you joked.
"It's something I know you'll like," he tilted his head to the side. "Or I hope it does."
Your finger slid on the edge of the black box. You got a faint idea of what was kept inside but decided to listen to Joshua and wait for later.
"Let's go, princess. The boys are waiting for us," he said, taking your hand with his.
"Who?" you asked, swiftly putting the gift on the coffee table and grabbing your purse as you headed out of your apartment.
"My bandmates. You'll like them," he assured you, turning to see you. "They've been eager to meet you."
"You told them about me?" you asked in a high pitch tone.
You got in the elevator together and Joshua pressed the button downstairs.
"I told them I'm bringing you with me and they went crazy about it," he sighed, unlocking his phone to show you a myriad of texts from a Jihoon and a Vernon.
You read the oncoming texts, raging for mostly reactions and exacerbated questions about Joshua finally dating someone. But he quickly shut down those speculations from his bandmates at once by saying you were a friend.
Something else on the screen caught your attention.
"You have seven hundred unread messages? And why do they say you're finally dating someone, what do they mean by finally?" you asked, bewilderedly returning his phone in his hand.
"You are a fast reader," he frowned. "I don't like texting," he shrugged.
"And?" you prompted.
His lips quirked into a smile. "Wouldn't you like to know," he joked, then shrugged again. "I've been single for a while."
"Really?" you asked with a smile, cocking an eyebrow.
"You're in no position to tease me about it," he smiled too.
You brushed him off. "Why are you single?"
"I uh..." he frowned and looked to the floor, as if looking for an answer there, "I haven't found the right person, I guess."
A sudden pang of concern jabbed you in the chest. But you made no comment, just nodded.
"And you?"
"Mmph. Same, I guess."
He looked at you. "Are you looking for something in particular?"
You sighed, contemplating your answer. "Nothing specific. Just… someone who feels right, you know? Someone who matches."
He nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I get it. Has to be the right match, or it just doesn't work."
"But it's not like I'm actively looking," you added, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah, me neither," he replied, trying to match your tone, but the awkwardness lingered.
Feeling the change, he cleared his throat.
The elevator doors opened and you walked outside of the building toward a large van. Where two men were waiting for Joshua, as soon as they saw you walking at his side, they exchanged a not so discreet look.
Joshua scoffed. "These two," he muttered with a grin.
Joshua opened the front door for you and you got into the passenger seat, noticing on your way that the back of the van was packed with a full drum set and two large guitar cases, a mic stand and sound amplifiers.
"This is Vernon and Jihoon," Joshua introduced you to the two grinning men who looked at you expectantly.
You told them your name with a shy smile.
"Behave," Joshua sneered as he sat in the driver's seat next to you, eyeing at the two guys sitting on the seats behind.
"We haven't said anything!" Jihoon protested with a smug grin.
You wanted to laugh at the way that Jihoon and Vernon exchanged looks once again.
"So... where did you two guys meet?" Jihoon asked either you or Joshua.
You felt like the question was directed towards you. "We're neighbors," you put in flatly. But sensing that you were being shy, added: "I complained at him for being noisy."
"Complained?" he interjected. "More like berated me," he teased as he started the car.
"I did not berate you," you bit back with a smile.
He rolled his eyes. "Put your seatbelt on."
"You first," you mumbled, but you did as he told nonetheless.
Jihoon scoffed loudly, trying not to burst out laughing.
"That's cute," Vernon commented flatly.
"What is?" you asked, turning to see the man sitting directly behind you.
He shrugged.
"It's cute that you're acting like an old married couple," Jihoon translated for his fellow bandmate with a smile.
You laughed. "Joshua is just a tease."
You felt him shift and noticed that he gave you a look.
"Oh, Shua's a nightmare," Jihoon retorted.
"Shua?" you repeated, looking at Joshua and then at Jihoon.
"He has many nicknames, you know. Joshuji, Joshu, Joshie, but the girls prefer Shua," he teased.
"Girls?" you parroted.
"Joshua's fans," Vernon informed, looking at his phone aloofly.
"Instagram fans," Jihoon complemented.
"Mmmph," you hummed.
"He's garnered quite the following," Jihoon teased, enjoying how Joshua was practically seething at him through the rear mirror.
"I imagine. But he told me he doesn't," you quipped.
"What?! He doesn't shut up about it with us," he looked over at Vernon, who just nodded with his head.   
"I can find more drummers, you know," Joshua bit back, looking at Jihoon through the rear view mirror.
"Please," the drummer scoffed.
"So you guys have been in a band for long?" you asked, feeling a certain eagerness to know more about Joshua's life.
"Two years?" Jihoon inferred, looking at Vernon, who just nodded in silence.
"I haven't listened to your music yet," you realized out loud. "I'm excited."
Joshua smiled without tearing his eyes from the road.
You arrived at a place called The Spot. Which was a bar located a few minutes from your apartment building.
Joshua parked the large van in the small parking lot behind the bar for the boys to unload the equipment they brought.
"Come. I'll show you inside," he said, grabbing your hand to lead you inside the dark-neon lit interior.
The bar was a western rock bar with an 80s theme. It had old movie posters and red neon signs on the walls. A U-shaped bar top in the center of the space, a large red neon sign that spelled 'Heartbreaker' mounted on the wall. Next to the booths and tables was a small stage where Jihoon and Vernon were already the drum set mounted.
The bar was not that big, but it was already starting to pack with people.
You sat in the last stool at the bartop, the spot was facing the side of the stage.
Keeping your eyes trained on him. He was scanning his surroundings anxiously, as if he was looking for something but nothing in particular at the same time.
"You can order whatever you want. It's on me," he smiled, and nodded at the two guys behind the bartop.
He fixed his jacket and licked his lips, then noticed your gaze on him.
"Are you nervous?" you asked suddenly.
That drew his big eyes to yours. "Nervous?"
"Yeah, you're fidgety," you pointed.
"I'm not," he said sternly, eyeing you with a glint of annoyance.
You narrowed your eyes. "You are," you insisted. "Why? Is it because I'm here?"
You laughed when all Joshua did was roll his eyes.
"I'll deal with you later," he brushed off before turning away and helping the guys get everything installed.
A pretty girl came forward almost a second later with a notepad and wearing a big smile. "Can I get you anything?" she asked.
You thought about it for a second. "Can I get a virgin piña colada?" you asked, feeling like a kid again.
The girl smiled. "Of course, right away."
Seconds later, the tall man behind the counter handed you your virgin cocktail. It had a cherry on the rim and a small pineapple slice.
"Thanks."
The tall nodded. "Are you a friend of Joshua's?" he asked.
You nodded, looking at his name tag. Mingyu.
When Mingyu smiled, you saw that his pointed fangs adorned his smile in a cute manner.
"You are his friend too?" you asked.
"He's more my boss's friend," he nodded in the direction of a tall guy that was talking with Joshua.
"Does he come here often?" you decided to pry.
"Just every other Thursday," he shrugged.
"D'you have live shows every Thursday then?"
"Yep. We try at least," he said as he poured beer on a crystal jug and put it on the bartop. "We are planning on having stand up nights, but Wonwoo says it's not a good idea," he said, pointing at his partner.
Wonwoo looked up, his ears perking at the sound of his name. "What?" he asked, pushing the rim of his frames up his sharp nose.
"Nothing," Mingyu brushed off.
"Have you thought about having Ladies’ Night?" you inquired, seeing the groups of women fill in the booths around the stage. 
"Huh. Sure, why not," he said in a thoughtful tone. And he turned to his partner. "Hey, what do you think of Ladies’ Night instead of stand up nights?"
Wonwoo shrugged, eyeing you curiously. "Either sounds like more work for me," he smiled shyly at the taller man. "Don't tell Cheol I said that."
The groups of girls coming to the bar, you thought, were due to the fact that the bar was partly cheap and well-decorated. It seemed like a fun place for a mini photo session while getting a few drinks; as you noticed from the people posing in front of the red neon signs.
A second thought was that a large part of the mostly female clientele was because the three guys who ran the bar were good looking.
Mingyu was the sweet, friendly looking guy, tall and buff; he was hot and well aware of it. Wonwoo was the alluring, quiet looking guy, dressed in all black, but whenever he smiled, his nose would wrinkle, telling on his sweet side. And the guy who was talking with Joshua also looked really attractive: tall, with the poise of a commander. Pale blond hair and full lips.
Joshua noticed you looking his way and smiled at you, making your insides jolt in response.
It was almost funny. He'd throw just a glance at you and have your body reacting like crazy.
But you guessed that it was unavoidable.
The eyes on him weren't just yours, but half of the people sitting around the small stage looked at Joshua expectantly as he nodded to his blond friend once and took the strap of his electric guitar to put it around his shoulders.
He did a brief sound check, which consisted of strumming the chords a few times aimlessly. That dragged dozens of eyes to the stage.
The microphone was tapped twice by his finger, as the speakers that played regular music died down, the microphone catching the sound around it and you could hear Joshua clearing his throat briefly.
You noticed the energy change around you, the buzz of the crowd growing quiet and then hushed almost completely when Joshua took the microphone, a white pick trapped between his pointer and middle finger.
"Hi, we're Midnight Haze," Joshua said, "and we're going to be your entertainment for tonight. Enjoy," his lips rose into a smile.
Then he turned to the drummer and nodded. Jihoon moved to get into position on the stool he occupied, lifting the drumsticks in his hands. He tapped them together twice, and with a thunderous splash, the music began reverberating throughout the place.
Then the guitar chords pierced the air and their vibrations could be felt on the barstool you were sitting at. With his eyes fixed on his guitar, Joshua raised his head to place his mouth in alignment with the microphone on the stand.
Under the red glowing light, his face lit up almost ominously as he began to sing. The sweet voice reverberated in your chest due to your closeness to the speakers, but beneath that, you felt a surge of emotion invade your senses as his voice rose with passion, weaving the melodies.
Midnight Haze sounded heavy enough like when a tidal wave crashes, but light and fun enough to dance along. Guitar solos spiral into your ears, Joshua appeared to be enjoying himself while swaying with his guitar, igniting a blaze of raw energy.
You realized that you were not the only one who was awestruck. Definitely not groupies. But there were some girls ogling at him, which, you realized, was difficult to resist.
At least from what you could catch, they had their eyes glued to the lead singer, who was putting on quite a show: dancing with his guitar, swaying his head to the music and smiling at his bandmates in some unspoken exchange.
They played for an hour non-stop, ending with an upbeat song and then he thanked the crowd and said goodbye for himself and the rest of the band. As they stepped down from the stage, the audience applauded and so did you, but you couldn't help but feel that you were left wanting more.
After some minutes, the buzz of the crowd resumed as well as the music from the bar speakers. Joshua made his way to you, sweat on his forehead and his looking a mixture of exhilarated and tired. But he was grinning ear to ear.
"See? No one is throwing themselves at me," he told you. 
"Point taken, rockstar," you rolled your eyes. 
He smiled widely, making your heart lurch. "Did you like the show?"
"Yeah. It was way too short, though. I kinda want more," you smiled up at him, still feeling dazed and a bit deafened.
"Sometimes we play on bigger venues and for longer," he commented, nodding to the small stage that was being cleared up from the band's equipment.
"I'll definitely want to see that," you stated.
His big dark eyes found yours, the corner of his mouth lifted. "I'll help the boys and I'll come back for you," he said and booped the tip of your nose before turning to the stage and helping with the dismounting of the equipment.
You quietly observed him as he busied himself to help clean up the stage. He's so cool, you internally said abashedly. He laughed and joked around with Vernon and Jihoon, drawing the attention of the people around them.
He looked at you from across the room and sneaked a wink. Did he know you'd be staring at him? He waved goodbye to his friends and turned to you.
"Ready, princess?" he asked, looking curiously at your already finished drink. "You had piña coladas?"
"Virgin piña coladas," you emphasized, nodding.
"That reminds me of something," he noted, and went to pay the bill to then return to you. "Come on."
Joshua took your hand as he led you back to the parking lot and opened the door of the van for you.
"We have to talk about some rules," he pointed as he drove back home.
"Rules?" you looked at him. Fuck, he's hot even when he's driving.
He had one hand on the steering wheel, and the other was relaxed on the windowsill.
"Last night I told you I wouldn't do anything to you while you're drunk, remember?"
"I'm not drunk now," you interjected.
"But you told me you didn't care, right?"
"And I don't. You can do whatever you want with me," you blurted, feeling your cheeks grow hotter.
"I need to know when something is completely out of the question, princess," he told you softly, eyeing you again.
"Like what?" you asked.
"Can I fuck you while you sleep?" he asked, by the tone he used, you could tell he was just giving you an example.
You smirked. "Sounds like you wouldn't do that," you retorted.
"I'm not into that," he admitted.
"That's why you couldn't last night?" you decided to pry.
"You weren't sober. Under different circumstances, I might've considered it. But last night just didn't feel right," he explained, seemingly deep in thought.
"Noted," you smiled at the careful consideration he had over you.
"I think we need to establish a safeword," he said after some seconds.
You saw him toy with his lower lip as the other hand still gripped the steering wheel.
"And I use this safe word whenever I don't like something, right?"
There was a bit you knew about the use of safewords—you were a bit inexperienced, yes. But not completely out of the loop.
"If you want me to stop, you say it and I will," he nodded, as he parked the van in the parking lot. Swiftly unbuckling his seatbelt, he hopped out of the van and then hurried over to your door.
You were both on the elevator when you told him your safeword after some careful consideration.
"Got it," he nodded again, licking his lower lip in a thoughtful expression. "Any reason why that's your safeword?"
"Wouldn't you like to know," you quipped, a playful smile spreading on your lips.
He chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eye. "You've been really bratty today, princess," he pointed.
"Oh, please," you pushed his shoulder playfully. "It's just a bit of teasing, can't you handle it, Shua? What are you going to do?"
The doors opened with a soft ding.
"Alright," he scoffed, and with a sudden movement, he bent down to throw you over his shoulder as if it was nothing.
"Joshua! Put me down!" you squealed.
You heard him laugh as he walked with you secured over his shoulder and stopped in what you guessed was your apartment.
He entered the combination to your smart-lock and pushed the door open.
"Now princess, where did you put the box I gave you?" he asked as soon as the door closed behind him.
"Coffee table," you mumbled, starting to feel dizzy.
Joshua didn't put you down as he took the box from the coffee table by crouching down slightly to reach it. Your limbs and head dangled helplessly, blood rushed to your head but as he moved to your bedroom, he set your backside on the bed, setting you down finally.
"Open it," he encouraged, and started to take off his jacket.
"I think I know what I'm gonna find here," you muttered, recovering with a sigh.
"Oh, do you?" he looked up at you while you took the lid of the box off.
The box contained two things, one of which confirmed that your suspicions were right—rope. Tightly coiled and bundled, it was black and new, by the smell of it. It was also soft, when you gently reached out a finger to touch it.
Next to the rope, a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs.
"I got two options for you to choose for tonight," Joshua explained and you found his big eyes scrutinizing you.
Instinctively, you grabbed the rope, since it seemed more alluring to you at that moment.
Joshua smiled knowingly, taking the rope from your hands. "Alright, princess. Rope it is," he nodded.
"But I liked the handcuffs too," you blurted.
"Patience, bunny. We'll have plenty more nights," he stated, making your insides jolt with eagerness.
"M'kay," you mumbled, looking at him anxiously.
In reality, you didn't have 'plenty more nights' as he said, since your deal with him was to be fuck buddies until you finished your manuscript. Which you have been dreading to finish.
He noticed your restive eyes on him and dipped his head to slot his lips in yours, giving you a reassuring kiss.  
"Take off your clothes for me, sweetheart," he instructed gently before pressing his lips with yours.
Your breath hitched so embarrassingly you had to bite down your lower lip. You liked the way he told you what to do, you liked that he took control. So you did what he told you to do.
As your clothes came off, Joshua busied himself preparing the rope for you. But his eyes remained fixed on you as you made a show to take off your clothes for him.
He sat at the foot of the bed—watching you with a sweet smile that didn't fully show his teeth. Your heart fluttered uneasily when his gaze darkened slowly when you got to your see through the mesh red lingerie he asked you to wear.
You unclasped your bra and sheepishly moved it from your chest, throwing it to the floor to then tug at the hem of your thong. 
"Leave that on," he stopped you before you could get to the last piece of your undergarments. 
The rope came undone on his hands, it was longer than you expected. Watching his hand twist the rope in an organized fashion, using his elbow as an anchor while his other hand grasped the other end of the knot.
"You've done this before," you pointed.
"Or," he countered with a grin, "I just know how to tie rope."
You squinted, catching the obvious white lie. "How many times have you done this?" you pressed.
"I don't think you really want to hear the answer to that, princess," he quipped.
Fair.
"Mmph," you hummed.
He sighed and looked at you, almost fully naked under the dim lights of your bedroom. "Yes, sweetheart. I've done this before. Don't worry," he nodded to the bed.
You understood and climbed your bed, moving your body to the middle and lying down on your pillows. Joshua followed you on his knees before you.
He extended the rope out for you, organized in two holes for you to fit your hands inside. You anxiously stuck your hands on each hole, at the same time Joshua slid the knot, tucking it closer to your wrists.
"Is it too tight?" he asked, and you could tell he was excited already.
You shook your head, your eyes trained on Joshua as he bent to finish tying the rope on the rails of the headboard of your princess bed—thus pinning your arms above your head.
"Remember our safeword," he said softly before placing a tender kiss on your lips.
You repeated your safeword, and then you started to feel your body heat in anticipation.
"That's my good girl," he sighed, pressing his lips on yours. "You're good only when you're about to get fucked, right?"
You attempted to give him an answer but his tongue dragged on your lower lip, finding your tongue as he kissed you slowly, enjoying the taste of your lips with a soft hum.
"I'm always good," you replied meekly.
"Oh, sweetheart. If only that were true. You wouldn't be tied right now," he smirked and pulled away from your body.
Joshua jumped from the bed, and started getting rid of his clothes, except his underwear. He smiled when he noticed you looking at him and turned to open the first drawer where he knew now you kept your toys.
Your blood rushed to your cheeks, and involuntarily you moved your hands to no avail—your arms were completely restrained.
"Do you keep them charged, princess?" he asked while he rummaged through your clothes to find your toys on the bottom of the drawer, stored neatly inside a shoe box.
"Yeah," you breathed nervously.
"How often do you use them?" he asked.
"Um... last time I used them was... wh-when I had that dream about you," you stuttered.
"Did you cum, baby?" he asked, looking over to your body as he made his way back to you .
You nodded. "And while I was sleeping," you muttered sheepishly.
He cocked his pierced eyebrow. "Is that even possible?" he asked, climbing back to the bed with two of your toys.
"It was for me," you breathed.
"So you came... twice? From a little wet dream of me eating you out?" he asked, his eyes marveling at the sight of you tied to your bed.
You nodded.
He smiled, letting out a sigh. "My perfect little bunny. Who would've thought you'd be this needy," he leaned in, cupping the side of your face to press his lips on the tip of your nose, then to your lips.
The urge of touching his face too invaded you, your arms twitched, the tight knot of rope stopping you before you could even move any further.
It was almost funny—being aware of the impossibility of touching him but still aching to do so aroused you.
"Joshua... please," you gulped hard.
His laugh came as a surprise to you. "Begging already, princess?"
"I need you," you whimpered, looking at him through your eyelashes.
"But you are in no position to make demands, baby," he muttered and planted a chaste kiss on your lips which you returned eagerly, trying to sneak the tip of your tongue between his lips but he pulled back slightly with a smirk.
"But you said-"
"I know what I said," he interjected. "That was before you acted all bratty today, wasn't it, sweetheart?"
You let out a small whine and bit your lower lip.
"So maybe I won't fuck you tonight, how about that?" he asked, tilting his head to the side, his black bangs obscuring one eye.
"You wouldn't do that," you whined, writhing on your bed, the restraints stopping you before you could do anything at all.
"Careful there, princess. These might be soft but I bet you bruise easily, don't you?" he asked, tugging at the knot pinning your wrists.
"Joshua!" you squeaked.
"Yes?" he met your eyes, giving you an innocent look.
It was insane how controlled he looked, the way he looked at you as if you were his prey and he were just toying with you.
You fumbled for the words, but as his eyes bored into yours, you felt at a loss.
"Joshua, please," you whispered when his lips found your sweet spot between your ear and jawline, making you moan when his lips sucked softly.
"Keep begging all you want, baby," he muttered, and you just knew he was smiling.
His hands trailed down your body, roaming, caressing your breasts and playing with your nipples using his thumbs. You moaned helplessly and grinded your hips against the growing bulge of his dark underwear.
"Desperate little thing," he groaned, lowering his body to attach his mouth to one of your nipples, making you cry out loudly and try to reach for his black hair.
Since your head was propped up in your pillows, you had a fairly good view of him biting and sucking at your nipples, it wasn't hard, but just enough to make you squirm and whimper under him.
"You have the prettiest tits, baby," he muttered as he nibbled softly at one of your nipples. "Can I mark them?"
You nodded as his gaze found yours. "Yeah, p-please do," you urged.
The corner of his lips lifted before pressing his lips on the underside of your tits and sucked softly. You moaned softly, wanting to run your hand through his hair, but not being able to make you feel more uneasy.
"Oh, Joshua," you whimpered as he made a trail of angry red spots on your tits. It was a strange feeling, having his hot mouth sucking on the skin around your areolas.
"I like these," he muttered, toying with the hem of your thong. "I love that you remembered to wear them."
"How could I not?" you quipped, feeling a bit breathless at the sight of him slotting his head between your thighs, kissing your pulsing clit through the meshy fabric of your thong.
"You could be a sweet talker when you want to," he smiled before pressing his tongue flatly on your core, making you cry out.
He sucked gently at your clit for a moment and then pulled his tongue away, hooking his fingers on your thong to slide them down your legs.
You saw him purse his lips directly above your pussy, and spit fell from his mouth, coating your clit. The sight of it alone made you utter a ridiculous sound.
And just when you thought he was going to continue eating you out, he grabbed something he had hidden beside him on the bed, and you realized by the pinkish color on his hand what it was.
"D'you use this often, sweetheart?" he asked as he pressed on the button of your rose vibrator.
He gently parted your pussy lips with his fingers, making you whimper when he placed the sucking tip of the vibrator directly on your clit.
"I... sometimes," you answered as the toy sucked your clit in its mechanical, trained patterns.
"And what about this one, baby?" he asked softly, grabbing with his free hand a wavy glass dildo.
You groaned, feeling both aroused and embarrassed. If you had your hands free, you'd use them to cover your face.
"What's wrong, baby?" he giggled, seeing your reaction. "I saw your collection of toys. I have a rough idea of what you like, but I want you to tell me."
You rolled your eyes, deeply flustered.
"That's my favorite," you pointed with your nose to the clear dildo, adorned with a pink heart at the end. "But if I want to... do things quickly I use this," you pointed to the toy trying to swallow your clit.
"Oh, really?" he smirked and bent forward to plant a sweet kiss on your lips. "I love the idea of you fucking yourself with your toys, princess," he told you before he kissed one of your hot cheeks.
"You do?" you asked in a high pitch tone.
"Yeah," he breathed, and you just loved the way he said it. "My pretty needy bunny, bouncing on a fucking toy. Now, that's something I'd like to see."
You moaned in his lips. But he pulled away too soon, suddenly turning off the vibrator, making you groan at the loss of stimulation. Then he spit on the tip of the dildo, coating it completely with his drool.
Joshua had a grin on his face when you whined loudly at the sudden intrusion of the glass dildo, the bulbous tip pushing your walls open.
"I see why you like this," he muttered as he pushed further into the second wave. "It looks insane, baby. Your pretty pussy is swallowing it in," he whispered.
The dildo was only halfway in, but apparently that's what Joshua wanted because he started rocking it back and forth in your walls, at the same time he clicked the vibrator on again and attached it to your swollen clit, sucking and sending waves through your body.
You moaned and gasped. You had never had both toys on your cunt before, for obvious reasons.
But the vibrator was relentless and the combination of both was making you writhe and cry of pleasure, feeling really close to your release.
"Joshua!" you cried, writhing in your bed so desperately that the headboard of your bed rattled a bit. "Please, please, don't stop." 
"Are you going to come, princess?" he asked and you nodded your head frantically.
He pulled the toys away from your throbbing cunt in a second. You blinked and furrowed your brow at him. 
His lips were clashing on yours before you could utter a word. He moaned softly as he swiped your lower lip with his tongue.
"Remember how bratty you were today, bunny," he muttered gruffly. "I want you to think of it when I allow you to come."
"Joshua, please, just-" you moaned pathetically, trying to push your hips to the dildo still held directly in front of your sopping core.
"What, baby? What do you want?" he asked, his voice low and raspy.
"I want-" you gasped and gulped.
"Do you want me to keep fucking you with your toys? Or do you want my cock?"
The rope around your wrists tightened when you desperately tried to move your arms. "I want you, please Joshua" you whined.
He hummed, seeming to consider it. "Such a greedy girl," he muttered while he kissed you slowly with his wet lips. "Only behaves when she wants my cock."
The vibrator clicked on again under his thumb, attaching it to your clit again and thrusting the glass dildo on your fluttering walls. You contorted in your bed, trying to get the best out of the pleasure from the toys to sate your sopping core, biting down the inside of your cheek to stop the whimpers and sobs.
"I want to hear you," he said and you cried out instantly, feeling so close again to your release.
You screwed your eyes shut, propping your feet on the mattress to try and thrust your hips further on the dildo, trying to fuck yourself faster on it.
You arched your back just as you were about to have your much desired orgasm. But then Joshua set  the vibrator aside and from your clit.
"Please, please, please," you moaned over and over again. "Shua, please, I need you. Please, fuck me."
Then he pulled away from your body, with one swift movement he got rid of his underwear and slotted his body between your legs. He was sliding down a condom and before you could see what was happening properly, he was pushing his cock in your core with a loud groan.
You cried out in both pleasure and pain as he immediately started thrusting his big cock inside you, pushing your walls open for him.
"Fuck, baby. How are you still this fucking tight?" he groaned, his hands grabbing your hips as he pushed himself until he bottomed out and you could feel his full length inside you.
"Shua," you cried weakly.
"Are you alright, sweetheart?" he asked, pushing into your walls slowly.
"'m fine," you whimpered, closing your eyes to savor the pleasure of finally having him inside you as best as you could. "I just- I love having you inside me."
He giggled sweetly. "You do?"
You nodded with your head. "I love it s-much," you mumbled. "It feels so good."
"You feel great too," he said in a strangled voice.
Then Joshua started thrusting faster and harder, making your body bounce on his cock and the headboard slam repeatedly on the wall. You closed your eyes and swallowed hard as Joshua quite practically fucked you into your bed loudly.
You moaned deliriously when you felt the vibrator attached to your clit again, crying out when it started sending pulsations relentlessly, just as Joshua's hips buckled slightly, and his thrusts became more precise and calculated, holding your hips down with one hand.
"F-fuck," you whimpered, your eyes welling up with tears as you could feel yourself weaken under so much pleasure. 
"Too much, baby?" he asked and you picked up on the hint of concern in his voice.
"'m fine, Shua," you replied in a hoarse voice, blinking your tears helplessly. "I'm-m fuck-"
"You're squirting, baby," he told you in a low tone of awe, his eyes trained on your cunt as he plunged his cock inside you, his hand still pressing the vibrator on your clit.
"But I'm not coming," you protested, lifting your head to see but his hand blocked your view.
"I know, sweetheart," he smirked. "Tell me when you're close."
A frustrated groan fell from your lips and threw your head back against the pillows, avoiding answering.
Joshua let out an amused sigh at your small tantrum and you looked at him—he looked mesmerized. His lascivious eyes trained on you, his lower lip trapped behind his teeth, his black bangs stuck against a light layer of sweat that covered his forehead. 
He was on his knees, sitting back on his heels, the muscles of his abdomen tightening with every thrust, your legs draped on his thighs, a hand grabbing your hips, holding you in place while the other kept the toy pressed on your swollen clit.
The sight alone made your walls flutter and clench around him. You wanted to grab him, to feel his skin. The rails to which you were tied to made a rattling noise when you tried to move your arms.
The pressure building inside you from the toy pressing your clit and his cock pushing inside you—you moaned and squirmed on your bed.
"Shua, 'm close, fuckfuckfuck 'm so close," you whimpered, blinking some tears helplessly.
"What did I tell you, princess?" he pushed his cock inside you in a more demanding way, as if trying to rip your orgasm from you.
"I'll be good, Shua, I'm sorry-," you breathed desperately. "Jus' le-let me cum, please?"
"You learn fast," he praised with a lazy smirk. "You can cum, baby," he nodded, his face riddled with lust.
A second later you were writhing, crying out his name, the rope tightening around your wrists as you came hard, back arching and walls spasming erratically around his cock.
"Joshua," you breathed as he rode your high with precise and calculated thrusts.
A faint thought appeared in your mind—you probably looked like a mess, tied to the rails of your bed, hickeys all over your tits, crying and babbling nonsense.
"Fuck, I can't—Shua," you moan an writhed, feeling your core ache and spasm helplessly under the overwhelming stimulation.
"Are you safewording, bunny?" he asked, again, there was that tone of concern.
You shook your head weakly on your pillows. "No—don't stop, I want you, oh Joshua—fuck, fuck!"
You tried to press your ass down on the bed, trying to create some distance from the painful sensation in your oversensitive clit. Joshua appeared to be reading on how your body reacted, and changed the mode of the vibrator to a more delicate one. 
You screwed your eyes shut, feeling like you could sink into a void from all the pleasure your body was feeling, it was almost breaking you. 
You heard a soft sigh. "My pretty bunny. Do you like being fucked silly?" he was smiling from the tone of his voice.
"Love it—love having your cock inside me s'much," you replied almost instantly in a slurry babble.
That made him laugh. "Can you give me another one then, sweetheart? Cum for me again."
You nodded, savoring your fourth orgasm of the day. Your fingers clenched the rope as a form of soothing your body from the waves of pleasure threatening to wash over you. 
"Shua," you whimpered.
"I know, baby," he groaned, blinking slowly as he threw his head back ever so slightly. "I know."
Something snapped inside you, making you close your eyes so tightly you saw colors and then a slew of cries and hoarse moans came out of your mouth until you were breathless and crying from the overwhelming pleasure, the tears running down your temples.
"Fuck, baby," he groaned, and you knew from his face that he was cumming with you. His slightly parted mouth, eyelids fluttering, fingers digging at your hips.
The slamming noises from the headboard against the wall of your bedroom ceased, as Joshua threw the vibrator across the bed, his thrusts lazily coming to a stop with a last strangled moan.
You saw him bend his body forward to untie you in a swift tug of his fingers.
Then his hands were cupping your face, his lips slotting in yours, kissing you fervently.
"You're so good for me, bunny," he muttered in between kisses. "So, so good for me."
Your arms languidly wrapped around his neck as you returned his heated kiss. You moaned at the feeling of having his hot mouth on yours, savoring him.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?" he asked after you didn't respond.
"Uh-huh," you replied weakly.
He pressed his chapped lips in a smile that made your heart jolt. Looking at you with a glint of endearment as his fingers gathered some tears that were gathered in the corners of your eyes.
"You sure?" he whispered, his eyebrows knitting together.
You nodded. "'m sure."
"D'you want me to stay?" he asked hesitantly.
"Please?"
He blinked slowly at you, a cute smile stretching his lips. "Of course," he nodded. "Let me take care of you then."
He planted a soft kiss on your forehead and left the bed against your small groan in protest. When he returned a moment later, he had discarded the condom and you could hear the faint noise from the shower running in the bathroom.
"Don't move. I'll carry you," he said as he slid his arms beneath your body, bringing you up to his chest effortlessly.
"Thanks," you mumbled, feeling yourself come back to your senses.
"Don't thank me, baby," he mumbled, glancing at your face with a cautious look.
He set you down on the floor and guided you to stand under the showerhead. The warm water worked its magic, reviving your muscles and senses back to life.
Joshua was looking at you with his curious eyes, as he usually did. But this time, he looked kind of worried.
"Was it too much?" he finally asked as he watched your body soak in the warm water. "You're really quiet."
A reassuring smile crept in your lips. "I'm fine, Joshua. You don't have to worry about me," you replied.
"But I do, let me worry," he said, taking one of your hands to examine your wrists, which were reddened.
Your heart jolted again. "I liked it, Shua. Otherwise I would've told you, right?" you mumbled sheepishly.
His big eyes met yours, and you could see his features relax. His hand released yours to find your nape and pull you into a tender kiss.
"Thank you for trusting me," he muttered, resting his forehead against yours.
It was deafening and alarming—your heart was strumming against your chest, fast; a flutter of nervousness in your tummy. Fuck, this can't be happening, you told yourself. But a part of you knew this was bound to happen.
You were falling in love. 
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✮ a/n: first of all: can we pretend that vernon knows how to play the electric bass for the sake of this chapter pls (˘・_・˘)
thank you to everyone who showed love to part i and for the ones who waited for part 2 ty ty ty! i made this chapter extra juicy for those who waited tehe
what do you guys think Midnight Haze sound like? i thought of something like nothing but thieves or sam fender [especially this cover song] but do let me know your opinions! [links re-direct to youtube vids]
you can send an ask, chat with me, or drop your comments don't be shy (◠‿◠)
✮ READ PART 3 !! ✮
click here to join my taglist (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
toodles
498 notes · View notes
multifandombitxh · 1 year
Text
Keep It Down
Pairing: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader
Genre: Smut/Angst with some fluff sprinkled in there ✨
Warnings: Self pleasure, caught in the act, jealous/protective Din, 18+
AN: some good ol Jealous!Din for the girlies 😌 It's such a stereotypical fic gang I'm gonna be so real with you lmao. It's also a long one so prepare for the worst typos you've ever witnessed.
PS I haven't seen S3 yet but I got back into the hype 💁‍♀️
18+ minors dni
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It had been quite some time since you were able to have a moment to yourself. So long, in fact, that you couldn't remember the last time you did anything for yourself that was even remotely relaxing. You had been stuck on one mission for months, scouring the corners of each galaxy for a specific target with an unreasonably high bounty over their head. Din kept telling you it would be worth it in the end, but you were beginning to doubt that sentiment about two months into the search.
After a very pleasant visit to Alderaan, you were able to snag something for yourself to help with some much needed "stress relief".
You did your best to hide it from Din, considering you really didn't want him to know you'd just purchased a vibrating self massager. They were hard to come by, so when you found a merchant that sold them discreetly, you knew you had to take the chance. After it was all said and done, and Din asked where you'd been while he was busy getting information about the target, it was hard to explain to him where you'd gone.
"And where have you been this whole time?" He asked as you approached him outside of a local bar.
"I was, um, chatting up some locals," You lied, trying to maintain some semblance of composure as he stared you down. "Wasn't able to find anything about the target. I don't think he's been here."
"Well, while you were busy wasting your time, I was able to find one of his distant relatives," He explained, "Turns out he has such a high bounty for more than just murder, he's a real piece of shit in the eyes of his family. She said she knows where he might be."
"Yeah? Where?"
"Tatooine."
You scoffed. "That's not far."
"Which means we need to leave soon," He explained, "There's a crew heading there in just a few hours."
"Okay, so who's the crew?" You asked, eyeing him suspiciously. "Why can't we just go on our own? The ship could make it."
"It could, but not that quickly," He sighed, "Their ship is a little more advanced. It'll get us there faster."
You shrugged, raising an eyebrow at him. "Have you talked to them?"
He nodded once and began to walk off, likely in the direction of the meeting place. "I have. That distant relative? She knows these guys, let me talk to one of them over her communicator. They said they'll take us there, no questions asked."
You followed closely, trying to match his pace. "I find that hard to believe."
"You find a lot of things hard to believe," He teased, nudging your shoulder with his own. "It's kept us out of a lot of trouble. Always liked that about you."
You tried not to react to the compliment- the last thing he needed was an ego boost- but internally, it made your heart flutter and your stomach feel heavy. You opted not to respond to this, hoping he wouldn't press.
Unfortunately, that only made it worse.
"Would it kill you to take a compliment every once in a while?" He asked, his tone annoyed.
"It might," You replied with a smile, "Never done it, so I don't know."
"Maybe you should try it some time," He scoffed back at you, causing you to roll your eyes.
Your relationship with Din was complicated to say the least. You knew from the start you had some kind of attraction to him- what kind, you weren't sure, but it was strong and unrelenting. His voice was dangerously enticing, leaving you shivering any time he spoke just above a whisper, and the mystery of his face only added to the excitement. You had no clue what he looked like under that helmet, but you didn't care at this point. It never occurred to you to fantasize about his appearance- the way he carried himself, his voice, his confidence, everything about him struck you more.
But you'd be lying if you said you weren't a little bit curious about the color of his eyes.
When the two of you finally arrived at the crew's headquarters, you gave him a skeptical look. The warehouse before you was old, rusting and decaying in every corner. It was discolored, looking to have once been a pale green. The roof had caved in in several places, and the stairs to the roof were a death trap waiting to collapse on any unsuspecting victims. Din took note of your expression, waving his hand once to dismiss it.
"Not a word," He commanded, "I don't want to hear it."
"All I'm saying-"
"Don't make me tell you twice, Y/N. I already know what you're going to say, so zip it."
Frowning, you folded your arms over your chest in a pout. You followed him inside, passing through a creaky metal door that you were sure would be better off as scrap metal. Din led the way, checking corners and keeping one hand close to his blaster. As you entered the warehouse, the smell of burning rubber invaded your nostrils, causing you to make a face. As you rounded a corner, a large, shiny silver ship sat in the center of the large open space.
It stood out like a sore thumb, clean and sparkling among the rubble. You both exchanged looks, watching as three people stood around the ship and chatted away. They didn't seem hostile, but you knew better than to underestimate them. You approached carefully, keeping an eye out for any others who might be hiding nearby. One of them took notice of you as you stepped under a light, giving you away.
"Hey, the Mandalorian is here!" He called out, waving excitedly at the two of you. The man was tall and thin, barely any meat on his bones but a smile that was charming in its own way. "He's got a friend! Come on over, you guys!"
Din glanced over at you slowly, and you returned his look with a shrug. As you walked over to the group, you took in the remaining two of the crew; a woman with short, dark hair, several tattoos, and a frown that would scare off anyone. The other, a man of similar stature to the first, wore round, thick glasses, and was covered in what appeared to be oil.
"Lera said you'd be coming soon," The man said, "What are your names? I'm Dom, that's Starsei, and this guy over here is my twin, Arus."
"Y/N," You greeted, offering a small smile, then gesturing to Din. "He won't tell you his name, just call him whatever you like."
Din nodded, affirming your words. Dom watched the two of you for a moment, a huge grin still plastered to his face. A fourth member of the crew emerged from underneath the ship, covered in more oil than Arus. His dark, straight hair clung to his forehead and his mouth hung open as he breathed heavily. Oil stuck to his bare torso as he offered the two of you a wave.
"And that's Nox," Dom said, an annoyed tone to his voice.
You couldn't help smiling at Nox- he was handsome, likely more handsome than most- with a wide jaw, dark stubble, and his body toned similarly to that of a God. You shifted your weight as he locked eyes with you, shooting you a half smile that gave you butterflies. Din stood beside you, moving closer as he noticed the tension that hung between you and the mystery man. Nox took note of Din as well, offering him a full smile.
"Have any trouble getting here?" He asked, his voice just as dreamy as he looked.
"No," Din said simply.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the room as the two of them held each other's gaze, as if a silent conversation was happening just between them. You cleared your throat and looked over to Dom, giving him a warm smile. "So, um, when do we leave?"
"As soon as you're ready," He replied, "We were just finishing up repairs on the ship, so you're welcome to head inside and make yourselves at home. We'll all be roommates for the next two days, so we'll do a big dinner tonight to get to know each other better."
"Sounds great," You said, your voice as friendly as you could muster. There was a clear rivalry brewing between Nox and Din, and you were trying to do everything in your power to alleviate the tension. "We'll head inside."
Din ignored you, still staring at Nox. Irritated, you grabbed his upper arm and began dragging him toward the ship, smiling at the others along the way. Nox caught your eye again and you smiled, hoping he wasn't intimidated by Din too much. Once inside the ship, you all but slammed Din against a wall once you were out of earshot of the others.
"What is wrong with you?" You asked.
"What's wrong with me?" He replied, his voice filled with anger. "What's wrong with you?"
"I haven't done anything wrong!" You said, shouting in a whisper. "You're the one acting crazy!"
"Oh, I'm the crazy one?" He laughed, "I'm not the one making doe eyes at strangers."
Your mouth hung open in shock. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me, Y/N," He went on, "This is serious. We don't know them. If he tries something because you couldn't help yourself, and everything goes sideways, this was all for nothing."
"Why do you care?" You asked, becoming annoyed with his reasoning. "He's hot, give me a break! I'm allowed to think people are hot, Din!"
He let out a deep sigh, shaking his head. "We're on a mission, Y/N. This isn't the time."
"Well, it's been a long mission," You huffed, raising an eyebrow at him. "And I'm bored. The least I can do is have a little fun."
In truth, you hadn't even been planning on doing anything with Nox other than admire his good-looks. Your feelings for Din ran deep, and you weren't about to ignore those feelings for one good looking guy. If anything, you were hoping this would show Din that you weren't his, and that he had no claim over you. Maybe, just maybe, it would be enough for him to come clean about his own feelings.
If he even had any for you, that was.
Once everyone was loaded up onto the ship and you'd set off, you found yourself relaxing on a very comfy couch in a very cramped lounge area. The ship was dimly lit, offering little light to help you find your way around, so you opted to sit down and wait until someone told you to do something. After a while, Arus found you, and decided to sit with you.
"So, uh, is your partner, um... Okay?" He asked quietly.
"He's fine," You said, waving your hand.
"What was he so angry about?"
You shrugged, trying not to give away what was really going on between you. "Beats me."
You decided to get to know Arus a bit, finding out that he and Dom were engineers that escaped from the Empire many years ago after faking their deaths. You learned that Starsei is their pilot, and she seems standoffish because she doesn't often speak. She was a prisoner of the Empire, who helped Dom and Arus escape many years ago. Nox is their newest recruit; also an engineer, but mostly specializes in communications. He also used to be a smuggler.
After a while of chatting back and forth, Nox joined the party, sitting between you and Arus.
"Seems like the Mandalorian isn't having a great time if I'm not mistaken," Nox joked, glancing over at you. "Thought he was gonna slit my throat after I saw him in the hall just now."
"He'll warm up to everyone eventually," You said with a small smile, "He's a little hesitant about new people."
"So, how long have you two been together?" Nox asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you. Shock took over your features and you laughed awkwardly at the gesture.
"We're not together," You stated, "We've been working together for a long time now. Maybe a year."
Nox seemed to ponder your response for a moment as Dom entered the room, knocking on the wall to get everyone's attention.
"Arus, we need you up front," Dom said in a soft voice. "Star could use some help."
Arus excused himself, leaving you with Nox in silence. You tried to relax, sinking into the sofa as much as you could to appear as non-threatening as possible. Nox did the same, leaning back and yawning as he crossed his arms over his broad chest. The only sound was the rush of the ship, shaking softly as it dove through space.
"I want to know more about you," Nox said after a moment, turning to meet your gaze. His green eyes were soft, but lidded. "Who is Y/N, exactly? Other than the Mandalorian's pet, I mean."
"I am not his pet," You scoffed, laughing slightly and hitting his upper arm before looking away. "We're friends, that's all."
"You might want to check on that with him," He replied, "He was ready to kill me earlier just for looking at you. I don't think that's a normal thing to do for someone who's just a friend."
Nox's hand came to rest on your knee, his palm open fully and his thumb gently stroking back and forth. "If I'm being honest, I think he could tell why I was looking at you, and I think that pissed him off."
When you met his gaze, a pit formed in your stomach. Nox was handsome, and charming, and clearly making a move on you. But... Something was wrong. It felt wrong. There was something about the way his hand felt on your knee that made your skin crawl, his voice made you cringe, and the entire setting was uncomfortable. It was hard to pinpoint exactly why, until you thought a little harder about it.
He wasn't Din.
"I... Think I should go," You said, standing from the couch and turning back to face him briefly. "Look, you seem nice. But I'm... I'm not interested."
He smirked up at you. "I knew it. You totally have a thing for each other."
Dom appeared in the doorway again, a huge grin on his face. "Who's ready to eat?"
-
After what felt like hours, you were finally able to step away from dinner to your quarters- Starsei showed you the way- closing the door behind you. You removed your gear, tossing it to the floor and sighing in relief at the loss of the heaviness. Removing the massager from your pocket, you walked to the bathroom and gave it a good wash, not trusting it after being in your pocket all day.
Once you returned to the room, you actually took in what it looked like. Star had told you that you and Din would have to share one room, which hadn't bothered you until you realized there was only one bed that sat in the center of the room, facing the door. It looked big enough for both of you, but still, you knew it would be an awkward conversation to have once he arrived.
The room was dimly lit- much like the rest of the ship- one wall light sitting above the door and casting a reddish glow over the entire room. The bed looked uncomfortable, with a thin, gray blanket sitting atop the mattress and two equally thin pillows where your heads would rest. It wasn't home, by any means, but it was a place to sleep.
With that, you laid down in the bed, shivering from anticipation. It had been a long time since you'd had enough privacy for something like this. Not bothering to remove your pants, you slowly lowered your hand past the waistband and sighed softly as the blue silicone material grazed your skin. With one press of the button, you felt yourself melting into the hard mattress, all of your worries fading away with the soft sound of buzzing.
Your breathing began to pick up in pace and you wriggled slightly as the sensation became more and more intense. It was getting hard to suppress the sounds you were making, so you bit down on your lip to try and stifle whatever noises threatened to come out. A shaky breath managed to worm its way out of you, hitching in your throat as it started to escape.
Thoughts of Din infiltrated your imagination, and you didn't try to suppress them as they came. You thought about the sound of his voice, talking you through the pleasure and egging you on. A wave of energy passed through you and went straight to your core, wetness beginning to pool. You thought about his hands pinning you down as he had his way with you, panting and sweating above you. It was almost too much, and it felt like the room was spinning.
Closing your eyes, you began to focus on finding release, waves of pleasure flooding your body with each passing second. Your breathing picked up in pace, and it was getting harder and harder to stop the tiny moans that escaped your throat. With a flick of your wrist, the massager hit the perfect spot, pulling a sharp gasp out of you. Just as it left your lips, a large, warm hand clamped over your mouth.
Terror filled your body and replaced all sense of satisfaction, forcing you to rip your hand out of its hiding place and your eyes to shoot open. Din hovered over you, one hand covering the lower half of your shocked face while the other pressed into the mattress beside your head. He was missing most of his armor, his helmet the only piece that remained. Adrenaline shot through your veins, and you struggled against his hold.
"Sshh," He shushed you, holding a single finger up to the part of his mask where his lips would be. "Everyone in this quadrant is gonna hear you if you don't keep it down."
Confusion replaced the shock, your eyebrows drawing together as you breathed heavily through your nose. He seemed to see the questions in your eyes, and you could swear you could hear the smirk in his voice when he spoke again.
"I could hear you from down the hall," He explained, "Thought maybe you were... With someone. But it looks like I was wrong."
You shot him a glare, thinking back to the evening you spent with Nox and how it must have implicated something different to Din.
"I don't have to help you, if you don't want me to," He reasoned, the hand covering your mouth beginning to lessen the pressure it was applying. "I just don't want you to get caught by the others. Just say the word, I'll walk away and we'll never speak of this again."
You wished you could see his face to make a better decision about what his intentions were, but with the helmet in the way, it made it impossible. You thought back to the feelings you were having just minutes ago, and felt excitement bubble up in your gut. Despite the surprise, you wanted this. Your expression softened under his gaze, and you felt your body relax under his touch.
"The way you're looking at me... Should I take that as a yes?" He asked, tilting his head to one side. "You want me here? You don't want me to go find your little friend, do you?"
You shook your head slowly and a soft, amused laugh filtered through his helmet, sending a shiver down your spine.
"You wanna give that thing to me?" He asked, gesturing with his head toward the massager. You lifted your hand and placed it in his, your body beginning to shake at the idea of what was about to happen. "That's my girl."
His words sent a shockwave down to your middle, causing a soft whine to escape from behind his hand. His girl. Remembering to keep you quiet, he pressed down on your mouth again, shaking his head.
"As much as I want to hear every little sound you're going to make," Din said, his voice sounding strained. "Can't have anyone else listening in, got that? You're mine tonight."
You nodded.
"Glad to see you can follow orders somewhere, at least," He joked, the laughter in his voice making you shiver.
With one hand he managed to remove your pants, lowering them to just below your knees, the cool air hitting you and making you shake. He took note of this and pressed the massage straight against your clit, keeping it there, but not turning it on. Frustration began to build as he teased you, running the material over the spot slowly and gently. Your brows drew together at this and you gave him another deadly look.
"Give me a break, I've been waiting for this for a long time," He said, sounding breathless as he looked you up and down. "You have more scars than I thought you would. Still, you're as perfect as I imagined."
With wide eyes you wiggled free from the hand that covered your mouth. "Are you saying you've thought about me like this?" You asked, your voice strained.
"Quiet," He commanded, shoving you back down into the mattress with his free hand. "I already told you, the others might be listening."
"Seriously?" You questioned, exasperated. "Did you think I wasn't gonna react to that?'
"I knew you would," He replied, gripping your jaw with his fingers. "I just wanted to distract you so I could do this."
You opened your mouth to respond, but were quickly silenced by his hand once more as he pressed the button on the massager, effectively turning it on. A hearty groan filled your throat as your head fell back, Din's hand keeping you in place. Your knees shook as he worked you over, circling the massager before pressing it against your clit again. Whines and moans were easily muffled by his hand.
Without thinking twice, you reached out and gripped his bicep, your fingertips digging into the soft flesh that hid beneath his shirt. He grunted at your touch, lowering his face closer to yours as you squirmed beneath him. "Eyes on me, yeah? Keep your eyes on me, Y/N."
With that, you reached up to touch the side of his helmet- a silent plea for him to remove it. You begged with your eyes, since you couldn't with your mouth, hoping he would give you what you wanted so you could look him in the eye. He hesitated, his movements slowing as you pressed your hand to his helmet. Sighing, he removed his hand from your mouth, instead placing it to your cheek. "I can't, you know that."
"Please," You blurted, all dignity vanishing from your body as you begged him to show his face. "You know me-"
The massager hit a rather sensitive spot, causing you to cry out and lurch upwards. Just as it began to leave your mouth, his hand was quick to silence you.
"You've gotta be more careful than that," He scolded, pressing it harder up against you. Your back arches off the bed, causing your chest to graze his. Sighing shakily, he kept the massager stationary, sending wave after wave of pleasure washing over you. You'd all but forgotten your desire to lock eyes with him, your climax on the horizon and taking up all priority in your brain.
"That's it," He encouraged, drawing out each word. "You're being so good for me."
Broken whimpers spilled past his hand, and he didn't stop them this time. Instead, he doubled down, maintaining the same position that was driving you closer and closer to the edge. It was within reach now, just a few seconds more and you'd be coming undone beneath him. Din could sense this somehow, his face mere inches from yours.
"I know, I know," He mewled, breathing hard behind his mask. "Be a good girl, now. Give me what I want."
His words were the tipping point, sending you flying over the edge. Your climax crashed through you, your head falling back against the mattress as several stifled moans filled the air. Din hummed as you finished, as if satisfied by his work. He never wavered, his helmet stationary, a sure sign that he watched your face the entire time. His hand abandoned your mouth and you gasped, gulping in air as you came down from your high. The buzzing ceased and your body fell limp, your muscles relaxing.
Din helped you redress yourself, taking his time and tracing his fingers over your exposed skin before it vanished beneath your clothes. "So that's where you went today," He laughed gently, turning the massager over in his hand. "I knew you weren't talking to locals. You've never been a good liar."
You groaned and rolled onto your side, facing away from him. Embarrassment flooded your body, the realization of what had just happened setting in. Despite the fact that he entered the room, saw you as you pleasured yourself, and still felt the desire to help you get off, you couldn't help feeling vulnerable.
"Y/N."
His voice sounded... Different. It wasn't metallic, it didn't sound muffled or altered in any way. It was organic, and soft, and hung in the air like gentle music to your ears. The realization hit you like a brick.
His helmet was off.
As you tried to turn back around, he was quick to stop you, moving you back onto your side as he laid beside you in the bed. His breath hit your neck, whispering past your ear like a soft breeze. The sensation made you flinch, drawing in a sharp breath as his arm wrapped around your middle from behind. He pulled you close, the center of your shoulders pressing into his warm chest.
"I hope you know I did that by choice," He mumbled, his lips grazing your skin. "I didn't embarrass you, did I?"
"No, no, it's not that," You said quickly, "I just... didn't think you'd ever want to do something like that. I thought it was against your creed. It took me off guard, I guess."
"It is," Din sighed, "But if I'm breaking the rules for anyone, it should be you."
"Are you still mad at me?" You asked, a hint of playfulness in your voice.
The quiet laugh that left his lips was enough to make anyone crumble at his feet. "I was never mad at you. I could tell you were getting... Frustrated, to put it mildly. I didn't blame you for being attracted to someone else. It was him I was mad at."
"You barely knew him," You replied.
"I know," Din agreed, leaning in close enough to kiss your jaw. "But he was looking at my girl."
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