#i just don't vibe with him like I used to before the hiatus

[starlostseungmin]

stray kids ─── as one direction songs.

✰ pairing : non-idol!skz x afab!reader

✰ genre : fluff, angst, maybe suggestive?

✰ warnings : subtle mentions of sex and drugs, kissing, mentions of food and profanity. lmk if i missed smth.

✰ notes : uhm i really don't know what i wrote. this has been sitting on my drafts since november and thank god anon reminded me about it (i actually went on hiatus after minho's birthday last year so yeah) the songs i associated with skz members are just strongly my opinion mehehe i hope you guys like it, idk if you agree with me in regards with the songs but DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS after it! thank you so much <33

✰ tags : @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly

masterlist | taglist.

chan ─── perfect

honorable mention: little things

you already know how fucked up your life is but ever since he came, those days became different. it is always the small gestures that one fails to notice in the blink of an eye. you are just going to be surprised by the time it is done or how you managed to get out of a small inconvenience. he loves you so much that he would put you first before anything else. 

chan is different from everyone else. maybe because he is labeled to be kind and so above average of doing the bare minimum which people seek from their partners. he’s perfect but he doesn’t think of it the same way. 

you tried to convince him a hundred times but all you got in response is him being a blushing mess and his giggle that makes your heart warm every time you hear it. a smile would tug on your lips that would make him stare at you, he’d bounce back on the things you said to him and you think about what did you do in your past life to deserve someone as perfect as him. 

“baby, you’re perfect,” you said for the nth time, “no, i’m not, but i’m perfect for you,” he winked. “that was smooth, chan,”

lee know ─── night changes

he might be the type to not show his feelings immediately but he’s the one who subtly shows them. it started slowly, he reassured you that everything would fall into place once you both could figure out what was going on with this relationship. 

but as long as you’re together, the love you and him shared will never change. although the process of this love story has made things go in different directions, the thought of having to stick together is essential. 

your parents didn’t like him at first, they had someone in mind and that wasn’t him and yet, you didn’t care even if your first date was a disaster and the next one after that, but that didn’t stop you. it took a while for your parents to finally accept him after tons of convincing them that he’s a great guy, but it succeeded later on. 

you had a place on your own and welcomed his cats to live with you when some of them were wild, that’s what you think. minho was a mess when you met him, but thanks to you, it’s not that bad anymore. 

changbin ─── temporary fix

honorable mention: i want to write you a song

changbin is the type to offer himself as someone you can lean on but it’s not always because of this friendship you have, but as a lover who wanted to make you feel better and forget about shit. 

temporary fix is not always meant to be a cover-up of something you’d open up again to allow another train of bullshits in your life. it felt like he was being sent from the heavens to look out for you, an angel whose sole mission is to make you happy, the same feeling like something that keeps you high. 

there’s this thing on changbin’s vibe that you don’t want to share with anybody else and he makes you feel things when you’re with him. even though this relationship sounds like a fling and a guy who sneaks into your dorm late at night to make out with you, well, it used to be. but you know changbin is so much more than that after a while. 

the phrase, “you can call me when you need me, you know?” whenever he sleeps with you is now in the trashbin the moment you settle to be someone to each other.

hyunjin ─── last first kiss 

remember the time when he said that he chose to be the last love instead of the first? exactly. being the last person to love is basically spending the rest of your life with him, even if he’s not your first kiss, not your first love, not your first in everything, it’s fine as long as he’ll be the one you’ll remember as your eternal love. 

hyunjin being fitted into this song is like a message that he wanted to convey to his love, a sentiment that would indicate how much he’d spend time and effort to stay by your side until the end of time. indeed, a hopeless romantic man he is. 

last first kiss is the very first song that reminds you of him, it is part of those memories you made with him. it was that time when he decided to take this relationship to the next level, yes, he did mention that he wanted to be your last, and by what he meant, an everlasting love. 

“let me be your last,” and when you heard him say that, you knew he was the man who fits perfectly into your broken puzzle that would mend the wound forever.

han ─── rock me

honorable mention: midnight memories

rock me suits him as well as midnight memories. but midnight memories have their effects on han, giving him the vibes of being a musician specializing in the rock genre. and as someone who loves to listen to almost every genre in the world, you fell in love with him after watching him busking by the streets. 

you were amazed by how talented he is. his fingers strummed that guitar well, and his voice? like an angel. one could say that he is a free-spirited human being who does whatever he wants and writes songs about some things that piqued his interest. 

then there’s you, a broken melody who longed for him to come back, the same goes for him who let you go. both of you thought that you were too young to be in love and jisung was better off alone but his songs were dedicated to your break up. you rocked his world when you came and left broken notes when it ended.

but he always believed that what you had back then, was real and that you’d always remember the love you had. 

felix ─── why don’t we go there 

honorable mention: kiss you

felix is someone who gets hyped easily whenever you’re with him. his bright smile, his funny reactions, and the unidentified sounds that came out of his mouth made him a fun guy to be with. it started with a fling that turned out to be something you didn’t want to rush but it is slowly beginning to have a label. 

having a relationship with him offered different dynamics. it is the way he grabs your hand when you both start to get caught by the waves crashing by the shore or how he felt when you kissed him for the first time. he is someone who can get dragged with you to whatever your plan is, a great ball of sunshine to your rainy days, someone that you don’t want to be the one that got away. 

he does think the same, especially the fact that he treasures you so much and it became an opportunity to love you more when you spend that one night together somewhere, alone. it was an invitation actually and it made you realize a lot of things. 

it is the way he looked at those stars with those dazzling eyes of his. the constellation plastered on his cheeks glowed along with them, it is what they call freckles, you love them as much as how felix felt for you. having him as a getaway made you don’t want to come back, ever again.

seungmin ─── no control

night changes was the first choice but then no control became the one for him, no control, because he is, a menace. he believed that being in love was something that gullible people would do and get hurt, maybe a few of them proved it to be valid and worth it, yet he isn’t convinced because it is just a waste of time. 

and yet, you came out of nowhere. it is the way he looks at you with those dazzling puppy eyes, the way he obeys the things you wanted him to do, and it gets worse when you share intimate affections. from a gentle puppy to a wild wolf. there’s something about you that drives him crazy every time. 

nothing matters to him when you’re around and he never felt this way before. he’d kiss you out of nowhere when you reached home with your back against the wall as your hands played with his hair. he gets weak and powerless, but gets hyped and rough which you get caught off guard every time. 

and he is very loyal, he always makes sure that no other will ever meet his interest. you don’t want to share, anyway and you got him down bad.

jeongin ─── summer love

honorable mention: fool's gold.

loving jeongin is like a breath of fresh air, the freedom that he finally held in his hands, and the time he can make up for himself to be with you. it was a reckless summer that you spent in your grandma’s place, away from the bustling city and this boy showed up on your doorsteps. 

it didn’t take a while that you immediately had this puppy love type of interest in each other. you started sneaking out in the middle of the night when your grandma was in her deep sleep, swimming together by the river across the small town on a random afternoon, sharing a kiss under an oak tree that tasted like your grandma’s apple pie, it was great. you didn’t want it to end. 

and just like any other summer, it did. you didn’t know if you would still have this continuous conversation when the school year starts since jeongin is miles away from where you live. 

you saw him sitting on one of those branches of the oak tree where you kissed for the first time, and there you promised not to lose each other even if the summer ended. you couldn’t believe that what you did for less than two months was this serious. it was hard to say goodbye, yet you hoped nothing would change after the last summer’s sunset.

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[ellethespaceunicorn-masterlist]

🎧Elle the Space Unicorn's Masterlist🎧

Reader inserts will have no descriptors, OFCs will be black and plus-sized(unless otherwise stated). I love being able to give girls/femmes who look like me the chance to romance some of their faves.

🎧Bless my current muse...🎧

I love to write fanfiction. Right now, my main muse is Henry Cavill. But I also like some Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan characters (see below who I will write for - send prompts or requests to @ellethespaceunicorn HERE).

Buy Me A Ko-Fi? | AO3 | Author Recs | Fic Recs | Headcanon Recs | Fic Prompts | Fic Title Ideas | Words to use instead of ‘said’ | WIP List | 2023 Fanfiction Wrapped | 2023 Character Wrapped

Masterlist is under the Cut...

Bright Like The Moon (ongoing)

Love, Napoleon (ongoing)

Scrapbook (finished)

Daddy Knows Best (possibly on hiatus)

Don't Take My Sunshine Away (possibly on hiatus)

Touch and Go (possibly ongoing)

The Howling in Claw Creek Forest (ongoing)

What Are You Doing, StepBro?

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Humphrey x Stepsister!Reader

Summary: You and Humphrey don’t have the best start, but before long you will reach an arrangement.

Hold Me Til I Scream For Air To Breathe

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Sub!Clark Kent x Domme!Reader

Summary: Clark needs to give over to his submissive urges, specifically he yearns to be tied up and owned.

I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Napoleon Solo x Reader

Summary: Napoleon wines and dines.

Make That Kitty Purr {DARK FIC}

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Mike x Reader, August Walker x Reader

Fandom: Hellraiser: Hellworld x Mission: Impossible - Fallout, Crossover AU

Summary: Uncle August doesn’t give a shit that you’re Mike’s girlfriend.

Make That Kitty Purr [Director's Cut] {DARKER FIC}

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Mike x Reader, August Walker x Reader

Fandom: Hellraiser: Hellworld x Mission: Impossible - Fallout, Crossover AU

Summary: Uncle August doesn’t give a shit that you’re Mike’s girlfriend. This is the darker pre-edited version.

Some Things You Just Can’t Refuse

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Dom!Clark Kent x Sub!Reader

Summary: A collection of first times with Clark Kent, and one last time.

Happy Birthday, Cupcake

Rating: General

Pairing: Clark Kent x PlusSize!Reader

Summary: Clark surprises you for your birthday.

Treat Me Like A Slut

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: August Walker x Reader

Summary: August has had enough of your antics, and you’re going to pay for it.

Sometimes The Silence Guides A Mind

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader

Summary: As you were getting close to Sherlock, he stops visiting. You pop over to Baker Street and share an eye-opening moment.

Don't Take Your Eyes Off It

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Sugar Daddy!Steve Rogers x Black!Fem!Reader 

Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day, and you have a surprise for Steve!

Don't Kill My Vibe

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Clark Kent x BestFriend!Black!Fem!Reader

Summary: You help Clark ease the pain of his broken heart.

Forever And A Day

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Geralt x Black!OFC

Summary: Geralt and Lavinia share a passionate reunion.

An Angel Without Wings

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Frank Castle x Unnamed!Black!OFC

Summary: When she needs him to take control, he’s there for her.

Fifteen Minutes

Character: Walter Marshall x Unnamed Black!OFC

Rating: Explicit

Summary: What Walter does with 15 minutes of his time.

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

Pairing: Syverson x Reader 

Rating: Mature

Summary: When an unexpected pregnancy rocks your already uncertain world, you decide the best option is to run. Apocalypse AU.

Pretty As A Picture

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Summary: What started as a hobby day in the park turns into Lloyd Hansen showing you why taking photos of strangers is a bad idea.

Something Old, Something New

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Nick Fowler x Reader

Summary: Your childhood best friend invites you to your old vacation spot for her wedding, and you have been catching up with your first crush: her recently divorced big brother Nick.

Oxytocin

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Older!Black!Fem!OFC

Summary: At a New Year's Eve party, Ransom Drysdale's life is forever changed by a chance meeting with Ivy Kensington.

My Little Strawberry

Pairing: Syverson x Black!Reader (Peaches)

Rating: Mature

Summary: A follow-up to Shape Up. Sy has a conversation with his baby girl while she’s still in your stomach. 

Doing Something Unholy

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Charles Brandon x Reader

Summary: This is a prompt fill for some teasing of Charles Brandon and then him taking over.

Praise You

Rating: General, pure fluff

Pairing: Clark Kent x Insecure PlusSize!Reader

Summary: Clark Kent loves everything about you, especially what you think are your flaws.

Get My Pretty Name Outta Your Mouth

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Reader

Summary: You hate everything about Detective Walter Marshall. He feels the same about you. Now, kiss!

Shape-Up

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Cpt Syverson x Black!Reader (Peaches)

Summary: Syverson and his girl, Peaches, try and trim his beard without causing a ruckus. Spoiler alert: they fail.

Follow-up to Shape-Up: My Little Strawberry

The Paganini Problem

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Wife!Reader

Summary: Being Sherlock’s wife proves to be difficult when a case stumps him.

Power Play: After Hours

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Assistant!Black!Reader

Summary: What happens when Lloyd sees you, his assistant, in something other than what you usually wear? Well, you should be worried about what he does when he sees you.

No Good Deeds

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Landlord!Ari Levinson x Reader

Summary: Moving out on your own is challenging, but your landlord, Mr. Levinson is kind and helpful. But he may want more from you than your tenancy.

Executive Temptation

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: CEO!August Walker x Employee!Reader

Summary: You’ve caught the eye of CEO August Walker. What happens when he asks you to go to his private office?

A Duke and His Duchess

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Soft!Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Chubby!Black!Fem!Reader

Summary: The night takes a dark turn when you are harassed at the club, but Lloyd comes to your rescue.

Walter Marshall - Hobbies

Lloyd Hansen - Family, Quirks/Hobbies, Sleep

Lloyd Hansen - What happens when reader starts dressing to match lloyd?

Walter Marshall (Night Hunter)

Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher)

Clark Kent (Man of Steel, BvS, Justice League)

Humphrey (Stardust)

Charles Brandon (The Tudors)

Mike (Hellraiser: Hellworld)

Napoleon Solo (The Man from U.N.C.L.E.)

August Walker (Mission: Impossible - Fallout)

Will Shaw (The Cold Light of Day)

Sherlock Holmes (Enola Holmes films)

Captain Syverson (Sand Castle)

Evan Marshall (Blood Creek)

Melot (Tristan and Isolde)

Thomas Apreas (Hotel Laguna)

Chas Quilter (The Inspector Lyndley Mysteries)

Stephen Colley (I Capture the Castle)

I DO NOT WRITE RPF FOR HENRY

Lloyd Hansen (The Gray Man)

Andy Barber (Defending Jacob)

Ransom Drysdale (Knives Out)

Steve Rogers (Avengers films)

Curtis Everett (Snowpiercer)

Ari Levinson (The Red Sea Diving Resort)

Nick Gant (PUSH)

Jake Jensen (The Losers)

Frank Adler (Gifted)

I DO NOT WRITE RPF FOR CHRIS

Bucky Barnes (Marvel)

Charles Blackwood (We Have Always Lived in the Castle)

Steve Kemp (Fresh)

Max (Sharper)

Nick Fowler (The 355)

Lee Bodecker (The Devill All The Time)

Chris (Destroyer)

Justin Capshaw (Law & Order)

I DO NOT WRITE RPF FOR SEBASTIAN

Let me know if you wanna be added and for what plz, so far only these categories 😁 Let me know if you ever want to be removed!

General Fanfiction (Everything)

Henry Character Fanfiction

Chris Character Fanfiction

August Walker

Bright Like The Moon

Love, Napoleon!

Daddy Knows Best

Don't Take My Sunshine Away

The Howling in Claw Creek Forest

~Please DON'T ask me to tag you in a series that you've never 'liked' or 'reblogged'. It's just kind of rude. Also, don't ask for an ETA on the next chapter.~

*Blog Header, Cover Art for fics, Masterlist Header/MDNI 18+ Banner, Support/Reblog banner and Masterlist Dividers made by me in Canva*

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my lovely fandom :) I hope you are doing well. I can't believe we are at the first half of the finale it's unreal. For only having 10 episodes they've really made them count I will have to say. The writing has been so good this season. Killing me softly but so good. Can only imagine had we had a full season what they could've done. But tis not good to dwell on that ha Let us get started.

6x09 The Squeeze

Ugh poor Tim already breaking my heart 5 seconds into this. It's how he’s looking at the crime scene that gets me. Eric conveys so much with just a look. Always blown away by him. His look is saying so much as he looks on at the chaos. He is processing so much in this moment. Bless Grey showing up to break him out of it. Loving the hat btw Wade. Rocking it good sir. Tim letting him know immediately about his suspicions about Dr. London. Grey telling him to be careful with such accusations.

I love Grey protecting Tim with this friggin Detective Pearson putz. Coming in way too hot. No one I would rather have there to have his back though. Well other than Lucy. But Grey is the the right one to have there in this moment. Always protects his people. Hate this guy already. Wanting to crush Tim to advance his career. Just looks like such a weasel. *grumble.*

John was not ready the rant Lucy sent his way when he asked if she was ok. His face lmao Our girl has a lot of feelings ok? Lucy says she’s good. But you’re not my friend. That rant proving she is anything but ok. Sounds like she is trying to convince herself more than anything else. She is lost in life and where she really is emotionally right now. This scene is proof of that. I know people feel she is being isolated this year. I think the writers are doing this intentionally. I don't see it as bad writing which I've seen mentioned. I don't agree. Because it's very in character IMO. Feel like its setting something up as well. Also she is also the one isolating herself.

Even before Tim broke them up she was doing this. Look at her behavior the entire season. Especially after the exam. Handling everything on her own. Making rash decisions without input from anyone. Not even Tim. Hello Jeff Budney ...Just like Tim isn't open with anyone but Lucy she is the same way. Other than Tim she isn't very open with people about deep personal things. About what's affecting her. So this fits. She even shut Tim out of that situation in 6x04 in her decision making. Not since Jackson has anyone really made it in other than Tim. So this is pretty in character for her to isolate. People may feel it's more Tim but he's not the only one.

His is just showcased far more. Her's has been on display this entire season. Lucy and Tim are scarily alike in this way. She is a control freak and like Tim in the way she shuts people out. How she wants to handle it herself. I mean they have the same fatal flaw. It's why their communication became the problem it did. As much as Tim has growth to do so does our girl. That explosion of emotion just shows how very not ok Lucy is. I'm sure come summer or mid summer with the extended hiatus I might have a more fleshed out analysis of her. But she definitely isn't ok that much i can confidently say now.

I adore Angela calling Lucy to give her a heads up. Always looking out for both of them. Guardian Angel that woman. Friggin Nolan in the back asking what’s happening? She’s kinda busy John so hush. That concerned wifey voice is instantly present on the phone with Lopez. Her turning away from them both once it's about Tim.

This quickly became a personal phone call. Her reaction when she hears this. Oh my lord Closing her eyes. Taking in the severity of the situation. You know her immediate reaction was how he was. How was he feeling? Did he need her? The worry settling in and multiplying quickly.

The wifey vibe is continued when Tim calls John to be his union rep. Ugh killing me how worried she is for him. Concern seeping out of her in this moment. Despite everything that's her person and she still loves him so much. Her first instinct is to be there for him. My heart. Lucy asking Nolan how he sounded? Her tone bleeding worry.

Reason she asks is because Lucy can pull everything she needs to know from that alone. Knows him so well. Her innate need to be there for him. Regardless of all that has happened between them. Melissa killing it with the concern in her voice when asking how he sounded. *heart clutch* You can FEEL her worry.

Tim is so anxious waiting for Nolan. I wanna hug him. Jumps up minute he gets there. Telling him they’re gonna hang this around his neck. That now that Mad Dog is dead their scape goat is gone. Idk I would trust John alone for this. But Tim doesn’t have a lot of options right now.... I will say John proves me wrong later in this ep but my first thought was not 'Nolan should spearhead this.'

But look at Tim reaching out for help. Doing this so differently than how he handled Ray. I’m so proud of him. Taking a totally different approach on this one. Not isolating himself and reaching out for help through proper channels this time. Yeah Dr London sucks for being dirty but Tim has had some growth due to it. I couldn't be prouder of him if I tried. I really hope we continue his therapy journey in S7.

I hate this scene so very much. It was killing me to watch it unfold. She’s using his sessions against him and I wanna cry. It makes me sick tbh. And not even real info about his sessions either. It’s clear she doesn’t wanna be doing this though. Doesn't excuse her but you can see it's not something she is excited to be doing. Her conscience slowly eating at her. What do they have on her? I'm so curious.

This schmuck coming at Grey I wanna deck him. The look on Wade's face you can tell he does too. The amount of blatant aggression and disrespect making his blood boil. Telling Grey he favors his friendships over the city. Was making my Italian temper flare up so very much. Coming at Tim SO hard it was like he wanted to be found out. Bias little shit.

I love the minute Angela hears about Tim's admin leave she calls Wes. Angela saying he better give her a heads up if they're charging him. That she’s standing by Tim a 1,000 percent. Calling him family. Getting all misty over here. Angela loves him so much. He's very lucky to have someone so amazing in his corner. Love me some Angela Lopez. Loyal to a fault. Just like me fiercely protects and defends who she loves. Coming at her own husband to defend him. Adore this woman.

Can I just say I adore Lucy seeking him out. Not only that but making sure she has a private moment with him by pulling that stop button. Telling him she is still mad at him. That this doesn’t change anything. (and yet it changes everything IMO) Tim is so confused because the last thing he expected was this hug. Or her empathy at all. Hell when I saw the promo last week I wasn't either. It's the way he just MELTS into her like butter. His whole body relaxes. You can see the anxiety just drain out of him. Clinging to her like a life raft. Emotionally she is in this moment. Holding her as close as he physically can. He is so grateful for this moment to hold her again.

You can tell this is the first time in a long time he's felt whole. Felt peace of any kind just by being in her arms. This hug is so beautiful you guys. I'm tearing up just writing about it. The way she envelops him so completely. Such raw emotion in her voice asking if he’s ok? His answer makes me wanna cry. ‘I am now.’ Reminiscent of 5x21 when he said the same thing. He wasn’t ok till he heard her voice. The same thing remains the same here. He wasn't ok till he was holding her again. My damn heart. I love how she tightens her hold on him when he says this line.

Like she also can't get close enough to him either. They're just clinging to each other for dear life. This hug gave me so much hope. You can see how in love they both still are with one another. I mean my goodness the way she straightens his collar afterwards and touches his arm lovingly. Reminds me of the lint picking moment from 5x12. Still doing wifey things and can’t even help it. That wifey energy coming off her in waves. It's automatic when they part. Just seems so natural. After being apart physically since 6x06 .They easily fall right back into it. So damn nice to see. Feels like I'm breathing for the first time since 6x06 ended. I'm dying in the best way everyone.

Lucy then re-opens the elevator and they share some VERY loaded looks before she departs. I’m not crying you are.... God I love Tim and Angela’s friendship so much. She is willing do whatever for her bestie. She also is wanting so badly to be tagged in for this. To protect him in any way she can.

Tim seems confident in his play even if Angela doesn’t. Letting her know he's handling this one differently than Ray. Do love her saying different isn't her haha God he's lucky to have all these amazing women in his corner. I adore their friendship so very much. I need more of it in S7 writers I just do.

Really loving Lucy going UC for Harper and Lopez for this case. I think this is part of that setting something up I mentioned earlier. Lucy breaking my heart with the detective comment though. *sad sigh* But classic Lucy to have 8 covers ready to go. God I love her. The most Lucy Chen thing ever to have that many on deck. Not only that she's been growing them for months.

I love this human so very much it's insane. It's no wonder Tim is so damn gone for her. She is the cutest most prepared little nerd and I adore her for it. The look between Lopez and Harper is too damn funny. Tim would not be surprised by this info at all LOL Also her alter ego hitting close to home right now. 'A little lost in life....'

Really enjoyed this shot of Lucy and the nanny debriefing her before we head into the scene. This guy gives me the creeeeeeps. It's no wonder she didn't want to go back into that house. That dude looks like a sociopath. She can handle herself but good lord I hate her being near him. Dude has dead eyes too. The wife looks like she is a prisoner.... The whole scene made me uneasy and nervous for Lucy to be there.

Never thought I would say this....But I’m impressed with Nolan and how he’s handling this situation. That's right you actually read that. LOL You're not crazy. Or seeing things. He’s doing Tim some serious justice right now. Rattling all the cages of the potential dirty cops she’s seeing just by being here. Confronting her like this to see if it bears any fruit for them.

Having Smitty stakeout her office because he knows it'll make her uneasy and easy way to log who comes. Has Nell pulling data for him with police fails for last 6 months from dispatch. Also yay return of Nell. Love her. Honestly first episode in a long time I enjoyed his character. So well done John you pulled off quite the miracle here.

Love Grey in this scene. Hell in this episode really. Papa bear ready to devour anyone threatening his kids at it's finest. This scene was cathartic to watch after this putz had been stomping around. Acting like he owns the damn place. Smearing Tim's name all over the place in the process. Threatening Grey in his tirade. Wade's final straw is him coming after Nolan/Celina.

You can watch Pearson visibly shrink when Wade is done tearing him a new one. Doesn't say a damn word after he tells him to stay in his Iane. You tell 'em Wade. I was cheering him on this entire scene. Was a huge tell for Nolan and Celina as well. Nolan's tactic working very well. Outing him as dirty cop because of his outburst to them working Mad Dog's place plus confront Blair.

This scene makes me VERY nervous for Lucy. She did a really good job listening in till the damn toy. I mean she caught it before it hit floor. Unfortunately the friggin thing goes off with it's song. Giving away not only her position but her potentially her cover. Because he finds it on the ground and has a menacing look on his face. Dude gives me the actual creeps. Well done to the actor cause he makes me wicked uncomfortable.

I don’t like the idea of Lucy going back into that house. Like at all. Extra backup or not. I think her cover is blown and sending her back is like sending her into the Lion's den. She is very competent and can handle herself. That doesn't mean sending her back in isn't extremely high risk. Especially with Monica buzzing around now. We'll see how that shakes out next ep. Kinda hoping it produces some Feral Tim if it goes sideways while she's in there. A girl can dream right?

Prepare yourself. I was once again was very impressed with Nolan in this episode. He did a really good job leading Celina and doing what Tim asked. Was smart about his moves. Bringing Smitty and Nell into it and getting the info he needed. Shaking trees and getting fruit from it. Using everything around him properly even Smitty LOL She's got some balls on her asking for complete immunity and a new life. Also Idk Nolan can promise any of these things.....But it'll be interesting see how the second half of this unfolds.

Now Eric had mentioned in an interview post 6x06 about communication for them in the finale. So I'm excited to see what that'll mean. Will they have a real convo? Idk but i'm excited about it. All I want is them to be in a better spot before S7. I never expected things to magically come back together by seasons end. It shouldn't be that way. Also the season too short for that.

The SL deserved time to breathe and develop a bit. My hope is we will be on our way to reconciliation by end of finale. That hug was a damn good start to that goal. As usual thank you to ALL that like, comment or reblog these. Truly mean that every single one means so much to me. Excited to see how this season ends.

~~~

Side notes- Non Chenford

Harper and Lopez proving what a bad ass duo they were through out the ep. I need more of this in s7 writers. These two woman are dynamos and I need more of it.

Can’t say I didn’t Miss Tim the rest of the ep but damn was it good. I love when they do ensemble cast stuff flexing what a good cast we have as a whole.

Wes standing up to that heavy was impressive and pretty attractive. He’s grown a lot as a character was nice to see.

Loved the ladies nailing that crooked detective. Amazing. Grey getting to put HIM on admin leave. Suck it you schmuck.

[genericpuff]

The Mishandling of LO’s S3 Mi(n)season Hiatus - Part 3 2/2

ALRIGHT. THIS IS THE LAST PART. I MEAN IT THIS TIME.

I had completely forgotten how long the mi(n)season finale for S3 was, but I suppose it makes sense considering it was operating as the true cliffhanger before the 4 month break.

If you haven't read the first 3 parts of this episodic breakdown, please go check these ones out first:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 1/2

Alright, let's get this show on the road!

CAUTION: THIS IS PART 2 OF THE THIRD PART OF A 3 + 1 PART SERIES IN WHICH I WILL BE SPOILING MUCH OF EPISODES 251-253. THIS EPISODE CONTAINS TOPICS SURROUNDING SEXUAL ASSAULT. THIS WILL BE A LONG POST. BRACE YOURSELF.

We've gotten delusional Leuce. We've gotten erasure of the SA. We've gotten a complete bastardization of the original myths that this story got its claim to fame on. The dread has set in, and all I want to do is get off Mr Bones' Wild Ride. But we have one more stretch of mind-numbing track to go, because the reveal of Persephone starting winter was not the end, oh no. The true cliffhanger of this episode - upon which the fans and critics alike have sat on for 4 months - proves that when we think Rachel has gotten crazy enough in this circus she calls a "retelling", she manages to prove that yes, she can make things even crazier, and no, you will not have a good time.

Ironically, despite that opening, I actually have a lot less to say about this last part of Episode 253 than I did about the first part. Obviously there's no feasible way to top "Persephone causes winter", but this episode does come rather close in its absurdity. Ultimately, if these essays have proven anything, it's just how much Rachel retcons things, to such an extent now that she seems to be retconning or outright forgetting information that she established just a handful of episodes prior. You'll see what I mean here as we go along in this.

As soon as it's hinted at that Persephone has started winter, we cut away to Apollo. Because, as per LO tradition, we can't spend longer than 10-15 panels on a single scene.

Already this seems like... really odd framing.

This is Apollo. A character who has been a villain since basically the beginning of the comic, when he sexually assaulted Persephone. This is not something that's up for debate. This is not something that can be refuted, as much as the comic may try to erase it or twist it into something else.

And yet, the vibe I get from this is, "Misled but good-deep-down character being taken advantage of by a sinister being." This isn't the type of framing we should be seeing around a character like Apollo.

I mentioned it ages ago in my post about the SA erasure that it really feels like Rachel is slyly trying to make Apollo empathetic, from giving us an entire episode in his perspective to adding extra panels into the books to making Persephone weirdly reminiscent of feelings for Apollo that she never had.

One thing I also touch on in that post is how Apollo is framed against Zeus. Zeus is also a villain character for much of the series, and even after he's "redeemed", the fanbase still considers him largely to be an antagonistic force. So to have Apollo be trying to take down Zeus comes across as very "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" and I really don't like seeing that framing when it's regarding a rapist.

And this scene largely feels the same. It feels like Rachel's trying to sway the audience into believing Apollo is like Draco Malfoy - a misled boy who "didn't know any better" and was being manipulated by a greater evil. If you haven't guessed by now, that "greater evil" is Ouranos.

Why is it Ouranos? In my opinion (so take this with grains of salt) this is because they need to somehow "one up" Kronos and give Persephone and Hades a tangible force to fight against, to draw a clean line in the sand between "good" and "evil" so that we, the audience, will be forced to categorize Persephone and Hades as "good" and someone else as "evil".

But really, why Ouranos? We're told that he manipulated Gaia to use her powers in an attempt to create "hierarchy" (whatever the FUCK that means, I don't think Rachel really understands how societal hierarchies are created) but there's NOTHING to imply that he was tyrannical or "evil" in the same way that Kronos has been depicted. Rachel's basically submitting this whole plotline to "well it's in the prophecy" but there was NOTHING dictating that she had to try and write a "prophecy" storyline to begin with. So as a result, it feels very tacked on and it's hard to tell what the point is, it really just seems like Rachel watched too much Marvel one week and decided that Lore Olympus - a fantasy romance - needed a big bad.

And by extension it feels like Apollo is being used as a pawn in this dynamic. By making him subservient to an "evil" force, it means he can labelled as definitively "evil", and thus it gives Rachel a vehicle to have Apollo taken down - or even perhaps empathized with much like in the Draco Malfoy sense - without having to touch the SA plot that she set up and never resolved.

He was evil before, but he wasn't the kind of evil that Rachel could write around. Because she doesn't know how to write SA or give her female characters any sense of retribution or agency. We've seen that already with her robbing Demeter of winter and Persephone of her feelings regarding the SA. There was never going to be a chance in hell she was going to be able to write herself out of a plotline she's been procrastinating for 4+ years.

That said, this is just a vibe I get, so I'm not gonna speak on it much more. This is one of those "we're really not gonna know until the comic returns" situations.

Once again, Rachel's trying to make Apollo seem like a "master manipulator", but she's also trying to make him seem like he's the one being manipulated, but she's ALSO trying to write him as a big dumb idiot who literally can't grasp consent. Apollo has to be one of the most inconsistently written characters in the entire comic, and yes, that includes Persephone. Again, it just goes to show she hasn't been able to fully commit to the SA plotline because Apollo's motivations and intelligence levels change with each passing episode. Sometimes he's being nefarious and plotting to overthrow the King, other times he's literally asking a nymph if she'd be willing to cut her hair to look like Persephone. The comic can't choose and so we, the audience, can't tell why Apollo is even still here.

Again, this is SUCH bizarre framing. If we're to believe that Persephone has been "cursed" by no longer being able to create Spring, only Winter, then does that make Ouranos and Apollo the heroes here? Because Ouranos is right, if Persephone is causing winter, that's going to kill the mortals, which is the complete OPPOSITE of what she's trying to do. So what are we left with? A plotline where Apollo and Ouranos might actually have a point about how she rushed into a marriage with the King of the Underworld and sacrificed everything that gave her agency and power - both metaphorically and literally - in the process?

Again, this is why Rachel fundamentally misunderstands the original purpose of The Hymn to Demeter and how she's, by and large, made her retelling worse in an attempt to be "subversive". It puts the plot and character motivations in a place where it's hard to tell what the story is trying to say, I can understand if maybe Rachel's trying to write a conflict where Apollo uses this information to manipulate her, but it doesn't help that knowing EVERYTHING we know about the H x P relationship within the context of this comic, Ouranos has a point that Persephone's union with the King of the Dead is problematic. It might not be the same "problematic" that we're all thinking of, but it really just reinforces the criticisms of this relationship. Is the comic really asking us to say "fuck the human race, they're in love" ??? Because that's NOT what the point of the original myth was in the slightest and it's just a really weird place to put your audience in.

It's 4:45 AM right now as I'm typing this so my thoughts are a little scattered, but all this really feels like is an attempt on Rachel's part to create a new "big bad" for her to use as a distraction from the SA plot and to give Persephone a "flaw", but that "flaw" really only takes away the strength of another character.

Oh, and by the way? This whole "you need the fertility goddess" thing? THE COMIC HAS ALREADY TOLD US THIS WON'T WORK BECAUSE SHE HAS TO BE IN LOVE WITH APOLLO FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO USE HER POWERS. SO RACHEL'S ALREADY WRITTEN HERSELF INTO A CORNER THAT SHE'LL EITHER HAVE TO SOLVE OR RETCON ENTIRELY. DO YOU SEE WHY THIS IS SO ABSURD???

This line is kind of jarring because we had the Kassandra prophecy at the beginning that talked about the herb, but the prophecy Ouranos is talking about is the one about the sons of kings overthrowing their fathers. I definitely forgot about that one for a hot second reading this, I didn't get how this sequence related to the poisonous plant thing because they're framed as completely separate prophecies. It's not like Kassandra said in her initial prophecy that this plant would be used to overthrow a King again, she just said that the plant still existed and Psyche figured it out on her own that Apollo was gonna use it on Zeus. IDK that's just something that bugged me (also again, why are they believing her prophecies when we literally just had it established an episode ago that no one believes her prophecies LMAO)

Because if it wasn't enough for LO to have one Evil Robot Jeff Bridges villain, it had to throw in another one for good measure. It's just a line of dads and grandpas going back centuries waiting for their turn in the ring with Persephone.

lmao I love this 'hint' at Apollo being the one to write the note from Hebe and leave the cupcake for Zeus. Like... duh? We already put that together as SOON as Psyche said gasp "Zeus!" and then it showed Zeus eating the cupcake while Psyche called him on the phone telling him Apollo was gonna try and harm him. This sequence of 'revealing what really happened' doesn't work here because we've already been told what happened.

Except we know he won't. There's no tension to this whatsoever.

That's Hebe by the way.

It's odd that Apollo is embracing this prophecy when he has a kid himself. He literally has a fully grown son in this comic. I guess Apollo forgot about that, just like Rachel.

And that's it. That's the midseason finale. Ouranos is the new twist villain and Apollo is... whatever the fuck Rachel plans on doing with him.

Now, this leads me to my original motivation to create this series of reviews. It spawned from a conversation we were having in the Discord, discussing what it must be like to be a free reader who hasn't paid for the FP episodes that are still behind a paywall. This is not standard for LO, it hasn't kept FP episodes behind paywalls in the past during long hiatuses like this. I can even prove this with screenshots from the Wayback Machine, during the last midseason hiatus:

(whoof, that rating has dropped. I know it doesn't seem like much but for a series with millions of readers, by law of averages it takes a LOT of poor ratings to pull that number down compared to a series that only has a few readers)

Point is, this is the first time Rachel/WT have done this. Now, I will make this perfectly clear, I don't think this was a decision that was purely on Rachel. WT controls much of the backend like paywall costs, release dates, etc. so I'm not gonna go pinning this on her.

However, I do think this is a completely bungled attempt at trying to get people to pay up. LO has been dropping in views steadily but surely since the midseason break for S2. It's not pulling in the peak numbers that it used to, while it does still pull in a lot more views and money than other series on the platform, it's nowhere near the juggernaut that it once was in terms of record-breaking numbers, and I think WT knows that. So this really comes across as a stunt to get readers to FP, assuming that people will HAVE to pay if they're left waiting for 4 months.

But here's the flaw in that logic - people are still going to have to wait 4 months anyways. Reading those 3 locked episodes, especially all at once, will still leave you in the same place as you were beforehand.

And it shows in the numbers that people aren't falling for the bait.

Again, 17k likes still isn't anything to sneeze at for a FP episode, but it's still just barely above the new average that LO has gained over the past two years. I remember a time when those like counts would be 30k+. And now, despite being on break 4 months with these episodes still locked behind a wall, it's barely able to scrap by its new average of roughly 14-15k, and that average is when episodes are actually updating.

Obviously like counts = / = viewcounts but when they fluctuate, we know that the views have to be as well by extension, at least to some extent, and that's still engagement that's dropped of in and of itself. And we can also see a rough look at how the views have dropped off through the comic's landing page. Now, it's hard to compare data because there was a time when WT actually didn't give follower/view counts on the landing page (this was also when the like count capped at 99k) but we can still see a downslide in growth very visibly in the view count, sub count, and most of all, the rating, which has been steadily dropping for years now.

August 2020:

May 2021:

November 2021:

March 2022 (don't get confused by the 995 million, this is where view count comes in):

September 2022:

March 2023:

Today (October 24th, 2023):

Again, there's no way to get a true clear picture of LO's stats beyond this surface level data, but it does show that LO is just not getting the rapid growth it used to. People are moving on from it. And while its view and sub count are steadily increasing (albeit slowly for a webtoon that gets as much marketing as it does) the average rating is going down. It's clear that the majority of LO's growth happened between 2018 and 2020, which would make sense as the series was still relatively new compared to how it's become old news today, and Webtoons experienced a boom in 2020 due to the COVID-19 lockdowns - a boom that they think still applies in the year 2023, judging by their attempts to import as many series onto the platform as possible and capitalize on an audience that just isn't there anymore.

All of this leads me to wonder - what's in it for free readers after all this? Because if you recall from where we started, the cliffhanger they started on was Hades - possessed by Kronos - attempting to strangle Persephone, a cliffhanger that was resolved within seconds for FastPass readers. If they don't FastPass after that, they'll be met with numerous reveals that don't even make sense for the plot as a whole (such as Leuce making up the text messages).

Again, I don't want to claim that this was a decision on Rachel's part, but it really seems like either she didn't plan this hiatus, or her inability to write naturally without the need for addictive-style formatting as a crutch made it so that the free readers would be given the worst midseason premiere ever.

And what are we, the FastPass readers, going to return to? There are still so many plot threads that have been left unresolved, multiple villains being setup, and as far as Webtoons and Rachel have revealed during NYCC, LO is supposed to end by the spring. That's 20-30 weeks TOPS, which isn't exactly a whole lot of wiggle room for a writer like Rachel who's chronically bad at pacing and getting to the point of the plots she's established.

I know there are so many readers right now anticipating the return of this comic, some of whom genuinely believe this comic is "better than ever" and others who are critical of it but hope that the comic will come back in a better state after the hiatus. But right now there's so much evidence to support the contrary - that LO is about to come back in as bad, if not worse, condition than it was in when it left.

And through all this, for a comic that's finally ending after 5 years, I have to ask - where is the hype? Why are Webtoons and Rachel keeping the finale of this comic behind closed doors? Where's the promotional art, the hinting at what's to come, the attempts to generate any semblance of excitement for the readers who are still left after clinging onto this ride for 5 years? Why were the fans themselves barred out of their own communities during the majority of the hiatus?

And that just leads me to an even more discouraging thought. This is not meant to accuse Rachel or make assumptions. It's simply a thought that I had while thinking about what the series could possibly pull upon its return, so please, take this with MOUNTAINS of salt. It's one thing I hadn't considered with the knowledge that LO will be returning with 3 episodes still behind a paywall, a 'buffer' in and of itself for Rachel to work off of.

Rachel only technically needs one episode ready for the release. Not three as she normally would if the episodes had been unlocked like in previous hiatuses. That's not including whatever buffer episodes she would need beyond the upload schedule, but she's proven to be chronically bad at maintaining a buffer as well since day one.

We haven't seen any promotional art. No hinting. No hyping beyond what's been seen for her "Rachel Smythe Presents" series.

With all that in mind, I have one question to leave this on:

Has Rachel even started working on Episode 254 yet?

[horseshoegirl]

Damn Those Dog Tags: Part 23 - Sleep Deprivation

📜So... I really don't know what to say right now. As a writer, we are supposed to be able to form words into sentences that create worlds, characters... emotions... but I cannot bring myself to form the correct words to describe how grateful I am that you guys took a chance on me, writing this piece of fan fiction after an 8-year hiatus, wondering if I still had it, if I was enough. DTDT is the first piece of Fan Fiction I've ever finished, the first story I have ever finished. And along with you all, I've cried, I've laughed, I've wept, I've smiled over Sadie being herself and Liz standing up for what is right. Jake being who he is, and Bradley... well, he speaks for himself 😅 It's one thing to say you write fan fiction, but it's another thing to say that you want to write fan fiction for people who make you feel supported in what you do. This is my THANK YOU to you all. For your kind words and lengthy reblogs, for the comments, likes and support. DTDT only exists because of you guys. And I love every one of you from the bottom of my heart.

So... with a bittersweet mention, here is the final Part of DTDT. Part 23, Sleep Deprivation 😭

❗18+. Strong Language, Pure fluff, Original Female Character, Original Child Character, PDA, Just in case letters, and maybe a few tears...

#6K words

Part 22 | Masterlist

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, Dear Sadie Bug, Happy Birthday to you!" 

Cheers erupted throughout the Hard Deck as Sadie smiled at her family, all gathered and singing to her around the piano. Uncle Roo was playing, lightly swaying into her side, making her laugh. Alyssa had her hand on Uncle Roo's shoulder, and the rest of the Dagger Squad was scattered about, singing along with the crowd.

She turned eleven today, and while she loved the fact everyone was here, with her celebrating, she found that the best gift she ever could have received was in how she saw you smile, here and now, with Uncle Jake holding you close. You were smiling like you used to, long before you had left to live in this small town she now called home.

Uncle Jake had lived up to his promise. He reminded you that you were worth it. He made you happy. And he tried.

She didn't need anything else.

"Sadie," a hesitant voice called from behind her. She spun on the piano stool, only to find a single yellow tulip attached to a slightly shaky hand in front of her face.

"Happy Birthday." Will smiled crookedly.

You felt Jake tense up against your back, his chest puffing out and his grip on your waist near the point of pain. Bradley even twisted at the sound of Will's voice, staring him down above the rim of his father's Raybans.

While Bradley might be dating his mother and, albeit, starting to bond with Will, he knew a wooing attempt when he saw one. Sadie's heart was another matter entirely.

You and Alyssa giggled softly at Sadie, blushing as she took the flower and at Jake and Bradley for shooting each other, what you could only describe as an "overprotective dad vibe."

Sadie delicately grasped the tulip, her eyes lighting up as she glanced at Will. "Thank you," she managed to say, her voice a mix of appreciation and surprise.

A silent exchange passed between Jake and Bradley. It was as if they had reached an unspoken agreement, a united front. Will had no idea what he was up against, two grown men ready to go to comedic if not slightly absurd, lengths to stir hardship to any boy that dared to approach Sadie.

Will shot his mom a look, who nodded at him encouragingly.

"Do you wanna.. go play on that old arcade machine in the back?"

Sadie went to open her mouth, an eager yes about to escape her lips, until she thought she heard a growl coming from behind her. She turned back, seeing her Uncle Roo first, his jaw tight. Her Uncle Jake wasn't that far off either, his nose flaring with each breath he took, glaring down at her best friend.

She shot you a pleading, panicked look, hoping you could see the desperation on her face.

Jake and Bradley opened their mouths, Jake's voice overtaking Bradley's as he went, "Over my dead..."

But they were cut short. You had taken your arm resting on top of the piano and jabbed Jake in the gut with your elbow. Alyssa had caught on, grabbing a lock of Bradley's hair at the back of his head and tugging once hard.

"Of course, sweetheart," you replied, jutting your head urgently towards the back. You silently mouthed, 'Go. Now!' and Sadie giggled, scrambling off the bench with her flower in hand, running off with Will towards the back.

Alyssa let go of Bradley's hair, prompting him to shout out, "What the Hell!" as you turned to face Jake.

"Relax, both of you. She's eleven!"

Jake pouted, clutching his stomach. "That little shit stole my idea. Only I get to give her a yellow tulip... it's a tradition at this point, and here he comes, swooping in with his tulip-like he's Mr. Original. It's my thing with her."

"Hey, that's my son you're talking about, Seresin!"

You tapped the back of his head with your hand, biting your lip to stiff your giggle. "He's a kid, Jake! It's just a tulip, not a wedding ring."

That was definitely the wrong thing to say.

Jake gulped hard, and you swore you saw a flash of pure terror cross his face. "No, Nope. No. I just got to call her mine. I need to do the things with her before she properly grows up," he sputtered. "A wedding ring? Liz, she's eleven! Don't put that mental image in my head. She's our girl, don't do that!"

Jake wasn't kidding about Sadie being his, not really.

Once the two of you brought Sadie home from Camp, you sat her down and asked if she was okay with Jake moving in. Of course, Sadie was ecstatic, nodding her head and asking 'when' or 'how soon', which prompted the two of you to start to plan things seriously. But it also posed the question Ridley had to consider the second Sadie was born.

Who would look after her if something happened to you?

It was nothing formal. You merely had to change your Will, stipulating that Jake would be the one to get her should anything happen. But Jake treated it as if it actually was, boasting to anyone he could about his niece. The words practically rolled off his tongue with ease and that sheer cocky confidence he was known for. It also didn't surprise you when you found information packets lumped on top of his computer in your office about the process for formally adopting.

It just further proved to you how much Jake wanted to be in your life.

"She has a good head on her shoulders, Jake. And she adores you," you remarked, looping your arms around his neck. Jake's chest rumbled against yours as he huffed. "Besides, I think you set a good example. She clearly expects high standards."

He let out a grumble, and you could only laugh and stand on your toes to plant a kiss on his lips. "You'll always be the reigning champion in this house, Hangman."

"I agree with Jake, Liz. We need to lock her in a tower."

You dropped your head to Jake's chest before you turned to roll your eyes at Bradley. You caught sight of Sadie in the distance, and she met your eyes and gave you a thumbs up, the tulip still in her other hand. The message was clear; she was okay, she was happy. That's all that mattered to you.

"Want another?" you asked the two of them, gathering their empty bottles. The both of them nodded, and you shook your head as Jake stepped into the space you vacated, leaning over the side of the piano to scheme with Bradley. You rolled your eyes at Alyssa, who shooed you on your way.

You smiled at Penny as you approached the bar, holding the empty bottles out to the air, signalling for two more. It's not as if you couldn't have gotten them and added them to a tab yourself, but Penny was adamant you didn't work tonight.

Your phone rang out and vibrated within the pocket of your dress. You pulled it out, wondering who could be calling you. Everyone who possibly could be was here at the Hard Deck, celebrating Sadie's Birthday.

Then, you saw the caller ID.

The bottles slipped from your fingers, shattering upon impact with the floor.

Not that you noticed, but everyone's heads lifted and turned towards the sound of breaking glass. Jake was the first to reach you, mindful of the broken glass at your feet. Then Bradley, Alyssa, Nat, and all of the Daggers swarmed you, knowing your history with phone calls and wondering what else might be thrown at you this time.

You pressed accept on the tiny device, bringing your phone to your ear, eyes wide as you stared at Jake, panting hard.

"Hello?"

Penny had yelled for someone to turn off the jukebox and for everyone to shut up. It was dead quiet, but for the sound of your voice and the tiny speaker of your phone, the entire bar invested in the outcome of your call.

Jake wanted to reach for you, but he didn't know if he should, wanting to leave you to have your space to deal with whoever was on the other end of that call. You turned your back to face him as the other person started speaking, you pressing a knuckle to your lips and biting down hard.

Everyone watched you nod and heard the question, 'What does that mean for us?' cross your lips.

"What..?" Rooster started to say, breaking the silence. Jake shot his arm out, shaking his head.

But the second he saw you grip your forearm and your skin turning red, he stepped forward, uncaring as glass crunched under his boots, to stop you from hurting yourself.

"Yes, thank you. I'll call if I have any more questions."

You squeezed Jake's hand once he gripped yours, and you hung up the phone. Turning to face the group, you looked at them with a shocked look on your face.

"Liz? Darlin?" Jake asked. "What happened?"

You swallowed, hardly believing what you heard yourself. "Uh...Tyler got thirty years to life."

A few collective gasps went around the room.

"They got him on attempted kidnapping, two counts of physical assault, and.. and murder."

Jake reached for your face and cradled your cheek. "Murder?"

You nodded, silent tears falling from the corners of your eyes. "There was a traffic camera... that fucking white car... the spoiler on the back... they caught him chasing her..."

Your words were fractured sentences as Jake combed your hair back from your face, you trying to sort between your thoughts and the information you had been given.

"That was the district attorney. I didn't even know he had a court date," you sniffed. "His whole family is going down for this... and there was a jury too. Apparently, they didn't take kindly to him attacking an active and decorated Naval Aviator."

Jake huffed, a soft smile on his face, but it didn't reach his eyes. You could tell he was stuck somewhere between relief and discomfort.

You raised your eyebrow at him. "Are you okay?"

He was. Tyler was truly well and out of your lives, and that was a good thing. But somewhere deep down, Jake felt as if the universe had twisted things to make him the hero in a story where the true victims were you and Sadie. It didn't sit right with him.

"I don't wanna sound like an ass, but my career shouldn't have had any bearing that decision."

You shook your head, touched by his reaction. "It doesn't matter, Jake. Not to me. He's going away."

You pressed your forehead to his, a happy sob escaping your lips at the realization suddenly washing over you. "He won't be able to get near Sadie ever again. And Ridley finally has justice for what happened to her. We're free."

Jake pressed a quick kiss to your lips, smiling as you gasped another deep breath. The second he pulled away, letting his nose rest beside yours, you chanted out happily, "We're free!"

Cheers went up around the Hard Deck, and Penny rang the bell, singling a free round on the house. The rest of the Daggers sighed with relief, lamenting about needing a drink, while Rooster whooped, running back to the piano and sliding along the bench as he ran his fingers across the keys.

Yet Jake and you stayed where you were, staring at each other with echoing smiles.

A well-known piano riff sounded off the walls of the Hard Deck, and Jake and you fought the urge to roll your eyes, using the distraction to slip out onto the hard deck patio and over to a grassy part of the beach. You could hear Rooster's playing at a distance, but it was enough not to be a bother.

You went to step forward, but Jake pulled you back by the grip he had on your hand, spinning you under his arm. You giggled, your head tilted back as you went, only to find Jake's hand resting flat on the curve of your back, urging the two of you to slow dance.

Bright orange rays hit the side of Jake's face. Hues of gold, pinks, and soft yellows, all sculpting his jawline, shining tiny flecks into his eyes, and casting a glow into his hair. They highlighted the small, affectionate small that was tugging at the corner of his lips. Jake's Mona Lisa smile was one thing, but this was one that was only reserved for you.

"Is this going to be our thing?" you asked him. "Watching sunsets?"

Jake smirked. "We could do a sunrise to switch things up?"

You let Jake spin you under his arm again, a smile on your face. He pulled you back to him, hooking both his arms around your waist while yours wrapped themselves around his neck.

"No," you smiled, swaying with him across the grass, thinking of when you went to visit Ridley. "I think sunsets are reserved just for us."

---

Despite having a party at the Hard Deck, Sadie's birthday did happen to fall on a Saturday night. So it was only natural one of her birthday wishes ended up being that she wanted these fun-filled nights to continue.

Who were you to deny her that request?

It was just the team that came back to your place afterwards for cake, your backyard lit up by your string lights and the glowing flames of your bonfire pit, music blasting from your speakers. Sadie had just finished opening her gifts from the squad, and Jake and you had saved yours for last.

Jake reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, flicking the stand back on the case and propping it on the edge of the pit. It let out a shrill tone, and Sadie squinted her eyes at the tiny screen, wondering who Jake had decided to call, now of all times.

Suddenly, a woman who looked just like him appeared on the screen.

"Is this Sadie?!"

Sadie squinted her eyes. "Yes...."

Janet's face beamed with excitement. "It's so nice to meet you finally, my brother can't shut up about you. Happy Birthday, Sweetie."

"That's nice of him," she answered, though you knew what she was doing, challenging Janet to earn her affection.

"Which one are you?" Sadie pressed. Jake bit his tongue, fighting a grin.

Janet didn't hesitate when she replied, "Not the twit and not the one that needs a pitchfork shoved up his as... butt."

Sadie giggled, and Janet shamefully called out, "Sorry, Liz."

You shrugged. "She's heard worse."

You met Nat's eyes on the other side of the fire, noticing how she was watching Sadie contently.

"Uhhh," Janet remarked. "You actually kind of look like my brother."

"Do you have any embarrassing stories about him?" Sadie's high-pitched voice made you turn back toward the camera.

Janet glanced over towards you within the frame. "She really is your niece, isn't she?"

You laughed, and Sadie broke into a full smile, her guard dropping a bit. "I like her," she declared, glancing at you and Jake for your reactions.

"If you two are done squaring off.." Jake said, rolling his eyes. "Janet had a hand in your gift and wanted to watch you open it."

He placed a box in Sadie's lap, holding the edge so it wouldn't fall as she tore into it.

"Go on, open it," Jake encouraged with a little bounce in his voice.

Sadie tore at the wrapping paper, lifted the lid and gasped. "Cowboy boots!" she squealed, pulling them out to admire the intricately stitched patterns and the shine of the leather.

"Thought you might need a pair if you're gonna be an honorary Texan," Jake said, grinning from ear to ear.

Sadie lunged forward, giving him a huge hug. "Thank you, Uncle Jake!"

He laughed, hugging her back. "Thank Janet, too. She picked them out."

Sadie squealed out her thanks as she kicked her slip-ons off, quickly trying them on. Except she shrieked when her foot met something within the sole, and she pulled the boot off only to reach down and grasp a few hard pieces of paper.

With a dramatic flair, she pulled out three plane tickets, holding them up for everyone to see. Her eyes widened, and a squeal escaped her lips as she put two and two together. "Are these... are we going to Texas?!"

You took one from her hand, reading the front. "Jake, you didn't."

He shrugged. "She needs to see where her family is from."

Bradley audibly gagged from his spot on one of the chairs, and you barked out, "Can it, Bradley! Don't ruin the moment!"

"We'll see you soon, Aunt Janet," Sadie said, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet with newfound enthusiasm.

"Counting the days, sweetheart," Janet said, waving goodbye as Jake ended the call.

As Sadie tried on her new boots, you reached down beside the bench to grab what would be Sadie's final gift of the night. You carefully slid it into her lap, placing a hand on her back.

"This one is from me... and your mom."

Sadie peered up at you with wide eyes before tearing into the box, practically tossing the lid off in haste. Her tiny hands tore at the tissue paper, and Jake was laughing at her eagerness as the tuffs flew up into the air.

She gasped when caught sight of the dark blue denim folded neatly into the box.

You found that Jean Jacket amongst Ridley's things in the storage unit, finding the courage to go through it finally and see what you could salvage or donate as you undertook the task of redoing Sadie's room. You knew as soon as you saw it that Ridley had been intending to give it to her as a gift, a twin butterfly and ladybug patches having been already sown into the material on the back.

That's what Sadie was seeing now, the jacket folded in such a way in the box only those two patches would be on display.

She wiggled her cowboy boot-clad feet back and forth in excitement as she grabbed the shoulders of the jacket, lifting it up out of the box to hold it in front of her. Jake grabbed the box and added it to the rest of the discarded wrapping paper.

Except as she held it up to inspect the back, the front was on display to everyone else sitting around the fire pit. Collective gasps and shouts of "What?!" sounded off, and you had to bite back your laugh.

"What the hell are those?!"

Sadie lowered the Jacket, peering over to see her Uncle Bob, ready to rat him out for swearing, when she saw his mouth was open like a fish. Twisting her brow, she flipped it over, a high-pitched gasp escaping her lips as she saw the two patches on the front.

The Dagger patch had been the most damaged one, but it was all too easy to grab the one plastered to one of the walls of the Hard Deck for reference. When Mr Murray asked why you wanted to use the busted one and not the one still intact, you had simply replied with, 'This one is special.'

It sat just next to the left breast pocket, perhaps standing out the most. But you, Sadie, and Jake hadn't been staring at that one. There was a second patch adorning the right breast pocket - a patch with a slight modification.

Sadie ran her finger across the gold-threaded wings before tracing the tiny words wedged in tight on either side below it. The tiny words that stood on top of the reason why this particular patch was now so special to her.

Proud niece of Hangman

To your surprise, it wasn't Bradley, but Nat, who yelled out first, "Hey! What about the rest of us?!"

Her shout set off a chain reaction around the group.

"It's not fair he gets to be on there first!"

"Why didn't you ask us too, Liz!?"

"There's a Dagger patch on there. All of us should be on there!"

But you weren't paying attention to any of them. You were looking at Jake, who had reached out to trace the patch as the jacket rested in Sadie's lap.

She looked up at him, hugging his side. "It's true, you know," she said a matter of factly. "I am proud of you, Uncle Jake. I always will be."

Jake snaked an arm around her back, hugging her and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, eyeing you with a smile. You would never stop surprising him—the both of you.

The Daggers were still arguing amongst themselves when Sadie scowled at them.

"Hey, guys!" She shouted, giving everyone pointed looks across your deck. "It's my birthday, shove it! He counts! And If I say he goes first, he goes on first, okay!?"

Everyone else, save Bradley, backed off.

"Guess I'm just chopped liver then."

Sadie narrowed her eyes, pushing herself to stand.

"You listen here, you big fat glorified chicken..."

You couldn't contain your laughter as Sadie marched over to Bradley, her finger pointed out in front of her as she started laying into him. Rooster looked scared, and you shook your head, wondering why he didn't realize Sadie would jump to Jake's defence the second she could.

Jake startled you as he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

"Meet you in the kitchen?" he spoke into your ear, squeezing his hand once before walking off, collecting the tray of dirty dishes on the table.

You stayed with Sadie for a few more minutes, making sure the rest of your crazy family didn't kill each other over who could have one of their patches on Sadie's jacket next. Though you'd never let on that Mav secretly slipped you one of his as he joined Sadie when she came back to sit with you.

As you sat there, watching the people who had come to mean so much to you, you felt an odd sense of what you could only describe as 'home' wash over you. It wasn't tied to a place but to your extraordinary found family. Because as much as they were there for Sadie, they were there for you too.

It was the peculiar kind of warmth they brought you, whether Nat was trying to get you to come out of your shell, Penny for acting like the defacto mother you didn't quite have most of your life, or Bob willing to be himself around you. It was in the way Mav cared for both you and Sadie as he did for each of his Daggers and how Coyote was always there when you needed him. How Payback and Fanboy made sure everyone was having fun, and how Rooster was the troubled brother you never had, a little broken, a little worse for wear, but genuinely kind-hearted.

Every family a bad egg after all, albeit bad wasn't the word you'd use to describe him at all.

They helped to fill the gaps left by your grief and sorrow, and you vowed to hold each of them a little closer. Because your life had been a pile of good things and also bad. The good didn't always soften the bad things you had to go through, but the bad never spoiled the good or made them unimportant in your life. Your life was messy and unpredictable but beautiful with its imperfections.

And you, somewhere along the way, were living with people who had chosen to stand by you in your darkest moments.

And Jake. Your Jake.

You turned to Sadie. "Think you can manage these guys while I help Uncle Jake?"

She smiled up at you, nodding, before looping her arm through Mav's, resting her head against his shoulder, tenderly glancing between some of her favourite people in the world.

Walking away, you paused at the back door, leaning up against the glass with your arms crossed as you found Jake humming, swaying along to the song currently playing outside as he worked, hands covered in suds as he diligently cleaned the dishes.

You faked a cough, startling Jake as the sponge slipped from his hands back into the dishwater.

"Anything I can help you with, Lieutenant?" you tease, playfulness in your tone and a grin gracing your lips. Jake narrowed his eyes at you, a cocky smirk on his face, then jerked his head to the empty space beside him.

"I wash. You dry?"

You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind, feeling him pause to place his hands over yours. You closed your eyes, pressing your cheek to his back and letting out a deep sigh.

A wave of profound gratitude washed over you. This man had chosen to love not just you but Sadie as well. He had stepped into your lives, filling spaces you hadn't even known were empty at a time when you weren't at your best. When you were fighting with yourself tooth and nail not to start a relationship, when you were missing your sister so much, the thought of her not being here was too great to bear. When you were scared to let anyone that close to you without Sadie's approval and yet, Jake somehow found his way.

You loved him. And there would never be a day in your life when you would let him forget it.

The two of you did the dishes, the odd comment or two passing by. The both of you knew a few of them would be sleeping over, you having already made up the pull-out in your office and Jake having gathered the spare pillows and blankets from your hall closet.

The two of you might have bumped your hips, teased one another, and shared a kiss or two. You might have blown bubbles in Jake's face, and he might have tapped you with the dish rag.

But when everything was said and done, and Jake was working to drain the sink, your eyes tracked to the top of the refrigerator, where that white envelope called out to you. It was wedged between your cookbooks, and you saw nothing else as you pushed yourself off the counter with both hands.

Reaching up, you worked the thick piece of paper out from between the books, only to hold it, staring at the front and absentmindedly tracing the writing on the surface.

Without looking up, you spun towards Jake, feeling a complex mix of emotions. Love, apprehension, vulnerability. But underpinning it all was an entwinement of a slight sadness, but more so serenity and acceptance.

"Hey, Jake," you said softly. Jake turned around, the smile on his face fading when he noticed you were holding a white envelope in your hands. A gentle smile was on your face as you looked down, closing your eyes once before lifting your head.

"I have something for you."

Taking the few steps needed to close the distance between you and Jake, you held out the envelope.

"Another letter?" he teased, slinging the dishtowel onto his shoulder and wiping his hands dry before taking it from your hands. He flipped it over, eyes searching the front until he spotted the fancy handwriting.

Jake's eyes shot to yours, utterly shocked. Yet, you didn't do anything except squeeze his wrist once and lean up to kiss his cheek. "I'll be out in the back with the others if you need me."

Jake remained frozen on your kitchen floor, watching as you walked out the back door. Sadie immediately ran to you, and you held out your arms, a cheerful laugh racking your chest as she hugged you tight.

Jake smiled at the sight, his girls laughing with one another as the music changed, and you wrapped your arms around her, waddling back and forth as the two of you started to dance. But then he felt the weight of the envelope you had given him, and he was drawn back down at the handwriting gracing the surface.

To him

Despite not having seen her handwriting, he knew who this letter was from. You had told him you had opened the shoebox about the letters Ridley had left for various points in either your or Sadie's lives.

He'd never expected Ridley to have written one for him... or at least, the idea of him.

Sitting at your kitchen table, he carefully opened the envelope, tilting it upside down to pull at the folded-up pieces of paper nestled inside. But as he pulled, several polaroids fell onto the table and a few to the floor.

Placing the letter off to the side, he reached down to scoop up the ones that had fallen, drawing in a sharp breath as he flipped one over.

The resemblance between Ridley and you was uncanny.

He didn't know what to expect, seeing a photo of her for the first time. Her eyes twinkled the same way yours did when you were happy, and the two of you shared the same dimples when you smiled. She had the same nose as you, the same hair colour, and the same face shape.

But there were also differences.

He smiled when he noticed the line of freckles spreading across her cheeks, the same type he knew scattered across your back. She had a scar running through her eyebrow and another matching just above her forehead.

But above all else, her smile echoed Sadie's, wide and happy.

He picked up another one, seeing you, as a teenager, laying in a hammock with a notebook and a feathered pen. Ridley had written along the white frame, an author in the making.

There was also one of Sadie as a baby, wrapped in a pink blanket, blue eyes wide as she stared up at the camera. And another of you holding her to your chest in a rocking chair, the two of you asleep. There were a few of you as a kid, another of you holding up a key with your tongue sticking out, and another at your graduation, Sadie on your shoulders stealing your cap.

Jake realized almost all the ones of you were strategically taken by your sister without your knowledge. It's so reminiscent of when Sadie sent that first Polaroid, the same circumstances - like mother like daughter.

Jake laid each out in front of him, lining them up to what he assumed was their chronological order, only to stare down at the story Ridley had left him. He felt his throat tighten as he looked at all of them. Even in the face of something as heartwarming as leaving him photographs of the three of you, the lingering weight of Ridley's absence was inescapable, and it hit him square in the chest.

Though he never had met her, the space she had left was undeniable. Seeing her now, he realized maybe he did know her. In Sadie's smile, in your will to take care of others, in the music she had shared with you and in both of your abilities to put somebody in their place rightly. It caused Jake to smile down at the only photo of her, resting on the table.

"It's nice to meet you, Ridley."

So finally, after the last photo, after the last word had been seen, and the last memory had been touched, Jake unfolded those pieces of paper and began to read.

To the person my sister loves,

Well, shit, she finally did it. My little sister finally found her, Mr. Darcy.

Sorry. As you probably have already discovered, the Beck sisters have a little Pride & Prejudice obsession. Totally my fault for naming my sister after a character in a book I fell in love with in school, but I took my chance when I saw it. But if you have the tendency sometimes to be a pompous asshole with an ego problem, then hey, at least she wasn't that far off the mark.

I'm sorry I'm not there to meet you. Whatever circumstances have prevented me from doing so. I'm sorry I can't have you over to a family dinner, ask about your life, and get to know you. For you to win me over, or for us to bat heads.

Just kidding... I'm more bummed about not being able to give you a shovel talk in person. But I know my daughter, and something is telling me Sadie would have already beaten me to it long before I had an actual chance. She has a thing about Lady Bugs, so run if you see her with an empty water bottle and she... Well, if you don't already know now, chances are you will eventually.

One way or another.

So I think this is my only chance to do it, sad as that is. Sad for you - you probably thought you were getting off scot-free. Nope, sir, I'm still going to kick your ass from my grave. So you better heed the wishes of a dead woman.

Now, she wouldn't have given you this letter if she didn't truly love you... if she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with you. She also must have made you promise to put Sadie first, and the fact you're holding this letter means you have. By her giving this to you, it means you are entirely worthy of her love.

(I don't write this as a means to scare you or warn you about what you're getting into. Cause no takebacks, sir, it's a done fucking deal now. I will so totally haunt your ass if otherwise. Sadie gets her wrath from me.)

There is so much more I want to tell you than I can fit into the pages of this letter. There will always be more, more things left unsaid, more things I never told them, or in what I'm telling you - God, the pressure to write something for someone you may never meet is hard…I hope you have a sense of humour cause I really don't stop rambling.

So, I guess I'll stick with three. Three things I want you to know…

One: Music does not solve all your problems.

Liz might try to tell you otherwise, that music can heal, and while I won't entirely disagree, you need to know the reason why. When we were kids, I'd play music to drown out the arguments, the slamming doors, the not-so-quiet sobs. The ability to guess a tune in just a few notes? That came from needing to know which song would best mask the sounds we didn't want to hear. The playlist wasn't just music; it was emotional armour. So when you listen to music with her, know that there's more beneath the surface. Beneath that lighthearted game is a history that's no game at all. When the playlist ends, and the distractions fade away, be the man who's there for her, not one that hides away when things get rough.

Two: A memory is no longer beautiful just because it fades.

People always used to ask me why I chose a Polaroid over a digital camera. With a Polaroid, each shot counts. You have a limited number of exposures, and each film cartridge is precious. There's no delete button, no do-over, just like in life. And when that photo develops in front of you, you have to wait for it to mean something. Once it does, it's permanent. You can hold it, you can touch it, you can pin it on a wall. But polaroids also fade.

Memories fade. But their value isn't in how long they last but in the ones you choose to capture in the first place. My sister and my daughter have been through a lot, so when you're building this life with them, be mindful of the moments you're capturing. Make those moments count. Make them worthy of being looked back on so there is no room for anyone to doubt the three of you didn't live a life that was not full of love.

Three: Grief is constant, unchanging, and complex - it is the most certain thing, next to death, we are guaranteed.

I have a very, very sneaky suspicion you are a pilot in the navy - hell, she works as a bartender in a navy bar; it was bound to happen with one of you lot (You just better not be the one Penny had called her about, rumoured to be sleeping with all the female bartenders... if you are... aha, good luck sir.. you're so in trouble - That's what Liz gets from me) so you know exactly what I mean. It's ingrained into your soul that each time you go up there, you might not come back down.

Liz struggles with grief and the knowledge that life is precious and fleeting. Don't add to it. Be the person who acknowledges it, who understands it, and chooses every day to make the time you have with them count. Life is fleeting; It can be gone in an instant. It's nothing we should ever take for granted, so please, please, from this dead woman pleading to the man my sister loves, please never take your life with her, with Sadie, as such.

They're both yours now, god help you. Liz, my dear sister, who cares too much. Sadie, my ladybug, who is too honest and sassy for a kid.

I've always put the two of them before myself. Liz has probably told you our story, so I won't rehash the nasty details in what's supposed to be a touching letter - I'm brutally honest, so when I say truly believe it was my sole purpose to be on this earth to 1) take care of my sister and 2) to create what happens to be, next to Liz, one of the most precious things in my life, I fucking mean it.

That being said, we need to make a slight amendment to the Sadie promise. Between the two of us, we need to add Liz to it too.

Lizzie needs to be reminded, given a list of all the reasons she's still here breathing, that she is doing right by what I want for the two of them. Because I know my sister, and she overthinks everything. She will be hanging on by a thread to every decision she will ever make with our Bug, wondering if she has done enough or if she is doing enough.

She already is. She already was.

And she doesn't owe me more than that.

You, however, do.

I need you to remind her of that - that she owes me nothing. I need you to take photos. Take as many as fucking possible. Go on hikes and look for the tiniest bugs. Make memories to hold on to and be the person who scares away Sadie's first date or holds her while she cries. To walk her down the aisle if she chooses and help her if she decides to have kids of her own.

Tell Elizabeth you love her. Every single day. Because you know as well as I do, you don't know the last time you'll be able to. Crawl into the bathtub with her when things get too much and hold her. All she needs is to be held, to know someone is there, standing by her. Thats it.

Stay up listening to vinyl with her, dance across a kitchen floor and make her laugh. Communicate with her. Please, for the love of fucking god, communicate with her about your feelings and your thoughts. She is such a good listener, and she cares so much for the people she loves. That's just who she is, so never forget it.

And promise me this one last favour...

There are more letters like this one in the red box I know she's probably only just opened, probably a long time after I'm gone. Mostly for Sadie, but there are some for Liz... maybe a couple more for you. I'm not sure yet, I'm honestly just making this up as I go.

Can you please make sure they open them? Go through the pile of memories I've left in there every so often?

I'm not being egotistical when I say I know I'm going to be missed. Grief does that to people. It's really just love, wanting to be given but with no place to go. I know those two will always love me in life and in death.

But remind them I know. Remind them I love them too - even if I'm not physically there to tell them myself.

This ended up being not as much of a shovel talk as I thought it was going to be, mostly cause I don't have anything to threaten you with truly.

But how about this, instead?

It's probably weird that I want to say thank you, right? Thank you for falling in love with my sister. Thank you for being there for her, for Sadie. For loving them when I cannot.

But I want to anyway. Because they mean everything to me, and it is my only hope they mean everything to you.

So wherever I am, whether it's in the clouds or in a fucking ray of sunshine, or if I'm a freaking bug, I can only hope I get to see the three of you be with each other in every way that matters.

Even if I can't, I know you're there.

And that's more than enough for me.

Love always,

Ridley Beck

~Fin~

🥲

Tag list:

@blue-aconite @tinytotontheoversizedpony @djs8891 @caitsymichelle13 @startrekfangirl2233

@mayhemmanaged @ereardon @dempy @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @daggerspare-standingby

@phantomxoxo @formulapierre @eli2447 @fulla02 @blckgrl-sunflower @mizzzpink @ohgodnotagainn

@bubblegumbeautyqueen @sarahsmi13s @desert-fern @lynnestra44 @memoriesat30 @penwieldingdreamer @mxlanciia

@bradleybeachbabe @bobby-r2d2-floyd @lavenderbradshaw @roosters-girl @lovinglyeternal @kmc1989 @gigisimsonmars

@keyrani @craftytrashprincess @hisredheadedgoddess28 @abzidabzy @memeorydotcom @vicsnook @taestrwbrry

@its-the-pilot @dizzybee03 @cassiemitchell

Wickett 🥲

(Sadie, Liz and Jake will be around for blurbs and one-shots if that is something you all are interested in 🥰 )

----

Forever After All - The next series after DTDT

[scratch-house]

i'm just a shot away from you.

sketch here and here.

hihi! long time no see! i'm gonna infodump about this piece down here.

so when i first started drawing, i focused really heavily on lineart. i was super into finding my "style" in terms of how i would stylize faces and bodies. my coloring style was kind of an afterthought and wasn't really in the place i wanted it to be, so this is me kind of experimenting and trying to go wild in that department.

i think the reason for my years long art block was perfectionism. specifically for digital art, i was very focused on making things pristine and clean looking. i mean that may or may not be obvious from my more recent pre hiatus art, i don't remember, but 😭 mentally that was the issue. i used to always like my sketches more than my lines, and at a certain point i was like, i may as well just have the lines be really sketchy and irregular and chunky or edgy in parts because i seem to be drawn to that, and clearly this precision thing isn't working out. i'd definitely attempted that at other points, but i hadn't really committed and was never really confident about it before now. i think ultimately i just had to reach enough of a 'fuck it' point before i could do it. it's a similar philosophy with the coloring and shading. i'm just letting all the textures and irregularities come through without worrying too much

the idea for the piece changed a LOT. like i started sketching and attempting to color this well before my art block, and i've only just finished it. initially, the doctor and the master were wearing their normal clothes and were holding daggers to one another while locked in an embrace, so the idea was like, the closer they get, the deadlier it is. for some reason i just couldn't get that to work? at some point i gave the doctor navy wings, so there was almost an angel of death thing going on (think the master asking her to kill him), but eventually i went for this! there's still kind of the erotic element with the master straddling the doctor and her Thrusting up, but now they are fencing, and the weapons are a little more front and center instead of hidden, as they were initially. i don't know how obvious it is, but what's happening is the master seemingly has the doctor pinned, both physically and with his rapier, but as she thrusts up, she actually moves his face closer to her blade. his hand on her elbow looks like it's part of the pin, but actually he's trying to stop himself from getting cut more. this thing of the master looking like he's winning, but the doctor actually holding the deadlier (though not necessarily better) position was very important to me, i don't know why. it was a feature of all of the sketches, although in the dagger sketches, there was an element of the doctor's blade being more hidden than the master's, ie in the embrace, the master (facing her) has an arm wrapped around the back of her neck with a blade at her throat, and she wraps her arms around him with a blade pointed directly at his back. you are going to have to figure out the symbolic intricacies of that yourself because i was just doing what felt right sjdjsdk

almost forgot: it's not just the positioning that sorta favors the doctor, it's also the fact that she is slightly more armored than the master. i don't know if you would call that armor, but let's go with that. her mask is pulled slightly more over her face than the master's, she wears her gloves and shoes while the master wears neither, and her rapier has a little cover that goes over her hand, while the master's just fans out. obviously they both have minor injuries, but the doctor also has some Ambiguous blood at her mouth. is it his? is it hers? i don't know. but she has blood in her mouth vibes when it comes to her interactions with the master so there u go

there's also an element of like, fencing is not supposed to get this crazy, so something has gotten severely out of hand here. but mostly i thought it looked cool.

if i could change anything about this, i would make it so that the doc's blade is pointing directly at the master's chin instead of having just grazed his lower face, with the master trying to lift his head away from the blade as he slides down, just so that the threat felt a little more.. i don't know, imminent? so that the strain is more pronounced? they're simultaneously being pulled toward one another (by gravity) and desperately trying to push away. i might've also fucked around with the text a little more because i'm realizing now that it could very easily be misread shjshdjs. but mostly i'm just glad that it's done and it looks cool. it's been YEARS and i finally feel like i'm back on my art feet. but don't hold me to that

[itsjaywalkers]

babe i miss ur rants like crazy so if u have any rant that needs to be indulged this is me indulging u <3333

this actually made me so soft.. i didn't know there was someone who enjoyed my rants so much.. i always feel kinda annoying.. i'm giving u the biggest forehead kiss in the world nonnie YOU'RE THE BEST

this being said . well

lately i've been thinking a lot about this band au i don't know if i'll ever write or if it'll just stay in my head, bc when i first started reading fanfiction i was OBSESSED with band aus and even tho i'm not that into them anymore . they make me feel very nostalgic and happy so i was like u know what . i should come up with my own. AND THAT'S WHAT I DID!!

anyways it's a dual pov, james and lily's!! they used to date, and since james is the lead singer in a very popular band, they were the it couple back then, everyone was fucking obsessed with them, said they were Perfect, peak romance, they wanted what they had etc etc. lily even sang with him sometimes when the band went on tour, bc she has a beautiful voice and all the fans kept pushing for her to join the band and sing all the ballads with james etc

but then . all of a sudden . she disappeared . not literally, you know, she just fucking ran away, without telling a single soul. she didn't even leave a letter to james, or maybe remus, who was one of her best friends. james was devastated, the band was devastated, the whole world was devastated. they went on hiatus for a lil before coming back with a very different vibe and since then . well . no one talks about lily evans . reporters try to bring her up every now and again bc they're nosy fuckers but james goes all stiff and his replies become stilted (even if still perfectly professional)

flashforward to . when the story actually starts . a new band has just debuted and it's rising to fame concernigly quick and james remus sirius and peter are going Crazy bc they feel a bit threatened and also oh would u look at that?? if it isn't sirius' estranged brother in the flesh!! playing the drums for this stupid band who's trying to compete with them!!

and if that wasn't enough !! lily finally returns to their lives............... she's also making a debut but as a soloist.............. and she's very Different from the lily they remember................... her songs are loud and aggressive and filled with resentment and very obviously about james and their relationship and james' friends. she's mean and bold and witty and everyone is Wondering if there was more to her disappearance than what they thought

it'll be jegulus and bartylily <3 and one of the reasons why idk if i'll ever write it it's bc one of the reasons why lily left is that she got pregnant and she didn't want it so she aborted and . we all know how this fandom gets about lily and motherhood lmao

anyways one of the scenes that's been plaguing my mind is this one that happens after lily and barty have started sleeping together and spending more and more time in each other's presence!! they're in barty's flat and barty wakes up at some point in the middle of the night just to discover he's alone in bed. so he wakes up and finds lily sitting at the kitchen table, notebook open, pen in hand and humming under her breath. he hugs her from behind and sees she's writing something new and they talk a lil, bicker some and tease even more, and then barty tells her she should write a song about him and stop dissing that stupid ex bf of hers bc it's getting old. lily laughs and asks him if he wants a cheesy love song and barty cackles and shakes his head and says that he'd rather have one of her dissing songs, bc they're fun and likes it when she gets all mean. besides, the press wouldn't believe her if she wrote something nice or sweet about him bc barty is always getting into scandal after scandal

lily does end up writing a song about barty, dissing him (affectionately except ppl don't know that) and when she first performs it live, she does so while just wearing one of barty's shirts and barty laughs the whole time while sporting the biggest heart eyes known to mankind

[tarrenterror25]

C-can we also get a Roman Sionas? With Mafia/Gang vibes and "Do I make you nervous?"

🥺 And maybe with a short reader who's the "I woke up and chose violence every this morning" 👉👈

^just a suggestion you totally don't have to do this bit

H. I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO SO LATE! 😭 My brain went on a Black Mask hiatus for reasons, but it's back, baby!🔥🔥🔥 I love this combo!! I hope you like what I wrote! 💖

100 follower celebration

Roman Sionis x Short!Violent!F!Reader

Roman Sionis + Mafia/Gang + "Do I Make You Nervous?"

Roman smirks as he watches you shift awkwardly in your seat, trying to not let the slit of your dress show too much leg. You’re just a pawn that your gang is using to try and sweeten this deal and Roman knows it. He’s milking every moment of it.

“That offer is…tempting, sweetheart, but-“

“Take it or leave it, Sionis, I don’t have all day,” you snap.

Roman hates your attitude, always has, but God does he want to break it.

He rises from his seat at his desk and starts to walk to you, but you stand as well, not wanting to be intimidated by him. He just smirks and looks down at you. “Aw, look at you, trying to be all tough. Bet you hate that they got you all dolled up just for m-“

Your hand goes flying up toward his face for a slap, but he catches your wrist right before it makes contact.

Roman’s expression darkens, but your scowl remains. He leans in close to you and your heart starts to race. His gaze looks down to your cleavage where he can see the evidence of your soft shallow breaths.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” he purrs. “Do I make you nervous?”

You scoff. “Never.”

“Your pulse says otherwise.”

You realize he’s still holding your wrist and harshly tear yourself from his grasp making him chuckle as he straightens up.

“I’ll take the deal,” Roman says. “On one condition.”

“My Don won’t take any-“

“My condition isn’t for your Don.”

You raise a brow.

He leans against his desk and crosses his arms. “Let me take you to dinner. I know a great spot,” he says with a smirk.

“Not a chance in hell,” you reply with a roll of your eyes. You turn on your heel and start for the door.

“Think your Don will appreciate you going back empty handed?”

He’s got you there. Ugh, you hate how smug he sounds about it, too.

You can hear his footsteps as he gets close behind you. You don’t have to look behind you to know that his front is inches from your back. He leans down so his lips are next to your ear and he whispers, “Come on, sweetheart, one date.”

You sigh and whip around to look up at him with a frown as you hold up a stern index finger. “One date, Sionis.”

He grins. “Yeah, sure, just one. Just don’t come crying when you want seconds.”

[1horrormoviewhore1]

~HEX GIRLS~

When everyone on the internet thinks you and your band are a coven of witches even Colby's starting to think the rumors are true

It was our last set for our U.S mini tour as the hex girls. Our last leg of shows landed us in our home state of California and Nevada for some of our friends like Colby,Sam, and Kat sam's girlfriend. After this we would go on a 5-6 month hiatus to freak everyone out our adoring fans and it was a pr move to get the sales up for our new album coming out when we got back.

Sam, Colby, and Kat were probably our only true friends. Let's be honest here everyone else in the celebrity and influencer world were a bunch of fakes and then you had that handful of people who were true friends they were actually real towards you no matter what happened, who had your back in the biggest fights so on and so forth.

For us going on this hiatus is risky but the good kind of risky. You have to do what you have to do sometimes in show business even if that means people think your band is a coven of witches I mean it matched the vibe we set out but that doesn't mean we were or do it. I mean when we do witchcraft it isn't even bad just some manifesting among other things like spell jars but that's pretty much it.

People are going around the internet saying we're devil worshippers and satanists and that we eat babies to stay mega young and that's why we have such baby faces. Like no Martha we just do skin care and go to the gym often like the fuck.

Anyway as we get ready to perform a fan favorite song Hex Girl (ironic that it's a fan favorite huh) I see Colby in the crowd with Sam and kat they have white claws in their hands am I surprised no. I give him a little side smirk as the lighting changes and I get ready to sing. I take a little breath in and close my eyes to get ready for the music to play I hear the drums and guitar and I know it's show time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Colbys~pov~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I see Y/n standing there on stage she gives me a little smirk as she closes her eyes and the music starts to play.

"I'm gonna cast a spell on you"

"Oh no it looks like the hex girls have him under their spell Sam " kat giggled as she nudged her boyfriends side with her elbow

"your gonna do what I want you to"

"oh no is right look he's literally drooling over her I've lost my best friend to the witches of the music industry" Sam laughed as he patted me on the back

"mix it up here in my little bowl"

I pull my eyes away from her even if I didn't want to. I looked at Sam and kat

"what did you guys say?" I asked as they looked at me dumbstruck

"say a few words and you lose control"

"oh he really is whipped for her" Sam said as he took a drink of his white claw while tugging kat into his side by her shoulders and she snuggled up into his side

"Im a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

"what are you guys talking about I'm not whipped for her" I glared at Sam and kat as they looked at me for a second before laughing at me like I had just said the funniest thing in the world. I scoffed at them and turned back to watch Y/n sing

" Im gonna put a spell on you"

"you guys dont know what you talking about I'm just supporting our friends" I scoffed at them and turned back to watch Y/n sing.

"Im a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

Her words echoed in my mind. I don't know if that's how it was supposed to be but it felt like she was staring directly at me as she sang

"You'll feel the fog as I cloud your mind you'll get dizzy when I make the sign"

After she sang those words I felt weightless, like I was floating above the crowd like she put some spell on me I couldn't shake the feeling

"You'll wake up in the dead of night"

After I really let it sink in as I watched her do the sign I could only assume to be the band logo it almost all made sense like she had written this song bout me or what she planned to happen to me

"Missing me when I'm out of sight "

I had liked her ever since I had met her since kat had introduced us at her release party for lala land about ...... Ago she had caught my site as soon as her, her sister daisy, and their band mate dusk

" I'm a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

I remember it like it was yesterday kat had introduced us and then we just kinda broke off from the group and stayed in the corner of the room talking and drinking the night away

"I'm gonna put a spell on you"

I felt like I had known her for years after that night like I had just rediscovered an old friend from back home we practically hit it off and we exchanged numbers and now ..... Later as I stood here in the crowd of her show mesmerized by her as she stared at me dead in the eyes

"I'm a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

Maybe the rumors online about them being witches were true. I felt weightless like she had me on a string and she had me by her pointer finger and thumb

" With this little cobweb potion"

She kept staring at me , me doing the same not being able to look away it felt like we were connected in some type of special way, maybe she likes me the same way I liked her maybe she wanted to be with me just as bad as I wanted to be with her

" you'll fall into dark devotion"

Her eyes got darker the longer we kept staring at each other just as I felt like something was going to happen she broke eye contact with me and looked off stage at who I could only guess was a stage hand

"if you ever lose affection"

"look who decided to come back down to earth after that insanely tense staring match with his girlfriend" Sam said as he and kat laughed at the teasing at my expense

"I could change your whole direction"

"I was not staring at her" I said with a huff as kat giggled at me

"ya know I could put in a good word for you with her if you really wanted me to" kat said as she put her hand on my shoulder

"Wait you would really do that!?" I said a little too quickly for my liking

"HA I knew he had a crush on her did you see how fast he perked up at that" Sam said as he pointed at me " you owe me 5 bucks my dear Katrina" he said with his hand out

"wait you guys bet on me having a crush on Y/n" I asked

"yep" kat said popping the 'p'

" we sure did brother, so when are you going to grow a pair and ask her out" Sam asked as he pocketed the 5 bucks kat gave him out of her purse

" Im a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

"I have no clue to be honest I don't even think she likes me that way" I said as I signed and looked up at the stage catching Y/n's eye once again

"I'm gonna put a spell on you"

She winked and smirked at me as she sang so I could only thank God that the lights were red so Sam and kat couldn't see me blushing at our small interaction

"I'm a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

"you should do it after the show at the after party I'm sure we could find some flowers or something at a corner store for her" kat said as she looked at me then to the stage as me and Y/n kept our little staring contest going

"we're gonna put a spell on all of youuu"

As she sang those last words smoke bombs went off in front of her,Daisy, and Dusk as they raised their hands and crossed them over their chests. Then as the smoke cleared everyone cheered as they had seemingly disappeared behind the cover of smoke

As the lights of the venue returned to normal so people wouldn't trip on their way out after the show. All I could think of was what and how I was going to tell Y/n how I have the biggest crush imaginable on her and I've had it since I met her and that I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her.

[wri0thesley]

Hello! It's up to you or not to post this, but here are some bsd x reader blogs that I recommend, but please read their rules/Dni before following/interacting. Some rarely post bsd content as they are interested in something else, inactive/assumed hiatus, and/or completely stopped writing for the series. Some include yandere, others don't, so proceed with caution last anon:

dear-yandere

spacexseven

amusedyan

snailsgoingdowntown

shumidehiro

after-witch

yandere-sins

honeydazai

bandaged-writer

yandere-daydreams

yandere-romanticaa

Also, while I'm here, I just really wanna say I love your writing. Especially the sampo x naive(?) Reader! It's totally something he would do, but at the same time I feel like he's the type to fall harder - for example, when the reader was very obvious with her crush, it kinda felt like he was genuinely happy about it, not just for the sake of getting her virginity by 'acting.'

It's the vibe I got throughout the fic. Sampo was very cunning in it, using the reader's personality 'against' her in both a twisted yet 'loving' way. I also like how he decided to stay with her after the deed, but part of me feels like he's forcing himself to think about the sex even though it feels/looks like a genuine connection is there.

It's 2am where I'm at so I apologize if nothing made sense, or if that wasn't the theme you were going for. Good night and thank you for your content!!

thank you very very much anon! i am posting this for that anon and also for me if i ever get around to watching/reading bsd. important information i need: in the sanrio collab, is the guy they put with purin a Good Guy. has purin gotten what he deserves??? important. whether purin is being respected may sway my decision

and oh, no, i absolutely intended for sampo to feel like he was in control partly as a way of not showing just how charmed he was by cute naive reader!! he is so so used to being used himself, or acting as someone else to charm . . . the fact that reader seemed interested in him and genuinely liked him even when those flashes of his real personality came through really flusters him a bit! i do think, partly, that manipulative yanderes who do it because they do like you so much are the scariest of all - those who do it for fun usually know when to call it quits, but a yandere who's genuinely into you won't take no for an answer....

[cleolinda]

Varney the Vampire: Chapter 11

Chapter 10: A wild Charles Holland appears!

A brief unexpected hiatus there for a week or so. Onward!

If you're just joining us, an ancestral vampyre has been victimizing fair maiden Flora Bannerworth, and it is the worst thing that has ever happened to her brothers Henry and George. Truly, nothing could be worse than having a sister bitten by a vampyre; let us mope upon it in the family crypt with some friends. The friends have matches. Meanwhile, Flora just shot the motherfucker.

CHAPTER XI.

THE COMMUNICATION TO THE LOVER. -- THE HEART'S DESPAIR.

As I've said, you can summarize Varney the Vampire very concisely if you really want to. In this chapter, Henry takes Flora's newly-returned kinda-fiancé aside and explains him a thing. Less concisely: That thing is a vampyre, one Ancestor von Spookyportrait, who keeps preying on Flora and repeatedly getting his hapless ass shot for it. But what you have to understand is, there is not a goddamn thing about Varney the Vampire that is concise. I would even argue that the spirit of verbosity—the baroque grammatical vibe, if you will—is more the point of this godforsaken thing than the actual plot is.

Consternation is sympathetic, and any one who had looked upon the features of Charles Holland, now that he was seated with Henry Bannerworth, in expectation of a communication which his fears told him was to blast all the dearest and most fondly cherished hopes for ever, would scarcely have recognised in him the same young man who, one short hour before, had knocked so loudly, and so full of joyful hope and expectation, at the door of the hall.

I myself am long-winded. Game recognizes game.

It would be one thing, Charles Holland thinks to himself, if Flora were just a trifling-ass strumpet. At least then he could get mad about it, his pride would shield him—but no, he is convinced that his angelic maiden fair back there is trying to protect him from something. As he should be, because it's not like it was hard to tell or anything.

Happier would it at that time have been to Charles Holland had she acted capriciously towards him, and convinced him that his true heart's devotion had been cast at the feet of one unworthy of so really noble a gift.

James Malcolm Rymer really builds up what a sterling hero—verily, a textbook cinnamon roll—Charles Holland is. At first you might think Charles Holland is his cherished self-insert, or maybe Rymer is even a little in love with him, as perhaps all writers should be with our own characters. But if I remember correctly, there's a more interesting reason he does this. But I get ahead of myself (my favorite thing to do).

But now he was to hear all. Henry had promised to tell him, and as he looked into his pale, but handsomely intellectual face, he half dreaded the disclosure he yet panted to hear.

Okay, “panting,” Rymer, don't be weird about it. Also, please use some names in this paragraph; I am pretty sure that Charles Holland is the Pale But Handsome one, which renders this "he" salad nonsensical.

Charles Holland begs to be told the truth! Henry avers that he will tell it, no matter how dubious or strange! Speak truly, Charles Holland, did you indeed hear Flora breaking up with you two pages ago? Why, yes, of course I did, Henry, I did! Then you will be shocked my sister broke up with you! Forsooth, I am! You know who actually wrote this? I've figured it out—energy vampire Colin Robinson.

Because just the act of describing this is sucking my will to live, and I'm not even sure why. Like, it's fine? It's not terribly onerous to read? It's just... so... it feels so much like long covid fatigue, I can't even tell you. NO! We can do this!

"She was right. She is a noble-hearted girl for uttering those words. A dreadful incident in our family has occurred, which might well induce you to pause before uniting your fate with that of any member of it."

Hold onto that "don't unite your fate with ours" thought, because it's an ugly one and we'll get to it. Right now, Charles Holland declares that nothing can ever change his feelings for Flora, ain't no mountain high enough, so on and so forth. What change of fortune could have occurred for Henry to think so?

"I will tell you, Holland. In all your travels, and in all your reading, did you ever come across anything about vampyres?"

Ah, shit, here we go.

"You may well doubt the evidence of your own ears, Charles Holland, and wish me to repeat what I said several more times. I say, do you know anything about vampyres?"

They go back and forth a while about the shocking fact of believing such a shocking fact, but finally, Henry has processed his circumstances: he, Henry von Spookyportrait Beaumont Bannerworth III, is experiencing the worst thing humanity has ever endured:

"Listen to me, and do not interrupt me. You shall know all, and you shall know it circumstantially." Henry then related to the astonished Charles Holland all that had occurred, from the first alarm of Flora, up to that period when he, Holland, caught her in his arms as she was about to leave the room.

I am fucking shocked that Rymer did not have Henry recap this at actual length. "And approximately four to five people also saw all of this!" And Rymer does not have all of those people file in and give sworn testimony in real time. Like, that's surely an entire mortgage payment he just passed up, or else he got into a fistfight with his publisher and lost.

"You bewilder me, utterly," said Charles Holland. "As we are all bewildered." "But -- but, gracious Heaven! it cannot be." "It is." "No -- no. There is -- there must be yet some dreadful mistake."

"No, no! By Heaven, no!" "Yes, Charles. Reflect upon the consequences now of a union with such a family."

Wait, Henry, what the fuck do you mean by that?

"That one who has been visited by a vampyre, and whose blood has formed a horrible repast for such a being, becomes, after death, one of the dreadful race, and visits others in the same way."

Two points:

What are the Vampire Rules in Varney the Vampire? We now know that it only takes (one?) bite to infect someone with vampirism—no exchange of vampire blood is needed. Allegedly. Rymer will probably forget about this.

"Dreadful race" is a real interesting word to use about something that is supernaturally contagious rather than hereditary. On the other hand, Rymer's been implying that Varney is Flora's ancestor, hasn't he? The shame of vampirism is in both her bloodline and, now, her actual blood.

At the same time, here comes the ugly thought to unpack. [Content note: mental health ableism, undescribed self harm and suicide in fiction, racism. If you'd like to skip this very long section, scroll down/search for "Charles Holland is a man of action."]

For decades if not centuries (and, I would argue, still today as well), there have been persistent ideas that mental health issues 1) inevitably led to violence and chaos; 2) were inevitably hereditary; and 3) weren't exclusive to "impure" bloodlines, but, short version: "savagery," colonialism, racism. And all this coalesces into the idea of the Family Stain. In a book like Jane Eyre, published the same year as the collected Varney, Charlotte Brontë evokes a family who "tricks" Rochester into marrying a woman coded as biracial who has apparently inherited a family mental illness. In this character, Charlotte Brontë chooses to identify insanity with violence (and, implicitly, with race), to the point that imprisoning Bertha in an attic is presented as "merciful." And honestly, given the state of mental healthcare up through the 20th century, given the real-life prevalence of this identification, it probably was. This is the cultural foundation beneath Henry's warning of "the consequences of such a union."

But let's delve deeper into the word "consequences." There's also a Louisa May Alcott serial from her "blood and thunder" days called "A Nurse's Story" (1865), and while it was published twenty years after Varney the Vampire, it makes those assumed consequences explicit: point #2 above, the inevitable "curse" of mental illness spreading to a patient's children. (I want to stop here and tell you that I'm bipolar. Medicated, very stable, not cursed. I've been very open about this for many years. I want you to read this paragraph knowing that I personally know that what follows is bullshit.) The story's narrator, Kate Snow, is hired to be the caretaker for a young woman who has started to present symptoms of the Family Stain, hereditary insanity, and has begun to self-harm as a result. By the end of the story, Elinor has actually died by suicide; I won't even go into the details because the story (dangerously) portrays her death as a tragic but noble act.

Elinor also has two older brothers who have sworn to die single (one has become a priest; the other is self-medicating with unspecified substance abuse, probably alcohol), so that they don't pass the family illness to any children. Unfortunately, there is a fourth sibling, Amy, who is determined to keep the secret and marry. (She dies within two years of her wedding, reports the epilogue.) Even better, there's a second family stain—the siblings are all actually illegitimate, because their father has a living first wife that he abandoned! And his son from that marriage, when not busy blackmailing the family, falling in love with Kate, and twirling his mustache, will also develop the hereditary insanity!

I'll be real with you, I actually love this story. It's got the psychological screw-turns that make a lot of Alcott's Very Problematic guilty pleasure stories so engaging, and (aside from the ableist premise rotting there at the core), the characters are portrayed with compassion. Kate stays with the family, villainous legitimate son included, as a loyal friend; the initial setup with Elinor was apparently based on Alcott's own experiences as a nurse/companion, and she has a great deal more sympathy for her characters than a lot of gothic-leaning writers. What "A Nurse's Story" illustrates for us, though, is how concretely mental illness was viewed as a family stain on the level of an original sin, something no one will ever escape, that will make even the kindest people erupt in violence, and something that must be prevented from propagating at all costs.

Like I said, though: I'm bipolar. I of all people know that these tropes are bullshit, and dangerous bullshit at that. I still love this story. Jane Eyre is one of my favorite books. We contain multitudes; we just also have to critique those multitudes. That's why I'm here writing thousands of words about this absurd vampire serial in the first place.

Now: let's take those ideas and jump back over to Varney:

"There may be insanity in this family," thought Charles, with such an exquisite pang of misery that he groaned aloud.

There may be insanity in this family, thought the potential father of Flora's children.

"Already," added Henry, mournfully, "already the blighting influence of the dreadful tale is upon you, Charles. Oh, let me add my advice to Flora's entreaties. She loves you, and we all esteem you; fly, then, from us, and leave us to encounter our miseries alone. Fly from us, Charles Holland, and take with you our best wishes for happiness which you cannot know here." "Never," cried Charles; "I devote my existence to Flora. I will not play the coward, and fly from one whom I love, on such grounds. I devote my life to her."

You're probably wondering why I brought racism up as well, ten million words ago. Well, because I think Rymer has given us visual cues as to why the noble Charles Holland is right to remain loyal to Flora. She's been coded as immune to any kind of metaphorical "stain," whether she's covered in blood or not. Look back at the very first chapter:

Now she moves, and one shoulder is entirely visible -- whiter, fairer than the spotless clothing of the bed on which she lies, is the smooth skin of that fair creature

Rymer intends us to understand Flora is intrinsically worthy of her fiancé's devotion: she is as white as the spotless bedlinen that she's being fetishized on. And I wish this were only a visual metaphor using the color spectrum of electromagnetic light, but I think we all know that the Victorians were racist as fuck. Readers of 1847 would have understood, consciously or not, the assurance of Flora's "fairness" that way. She's whiter than white; she might die nobly, but Charles Holland won't have to stuff her in the attic.

What I want to critique in this serial, to separate out, is to what extent Flora is presented as a heroine because of her whiteness, and to what extent that comes from her actions, such as shooting a vampire while everyone else is moping around a crypt. I think it could be incredibly useful to identify this, especially if you yourself are a writer, and infinitely more so if you are (like me) a white writer, to study what kind of bullshit you want to avoid in your work. (For that matter, ableism is another form of bullshit to to examine and avoid.) I'm going to be honest with you, writing about Twilight taught me more about characterization than any of the dozen writing classes I ever took, because I sat down on Livejournal and observed every single thing that I thought made Bella Swan annoying as hell, or Edward Cullen creepy as fuck (what I should have observed more: the werewolf "lore" being destructively racist), and I made mental notes: Do the Opposite of That. Now that I've found myself here in the middle of these tropes, that's what we're going to do. And if anyone ever adapts this for television, I would recommend that they cast Flora as a different race, but with the exact same "gentle maiden" personality, and portray a purity and sweetness that have nothing to do with skin color, no matter what Hunger Games fans thought.

But back to the story. Charles Holland is a man of action. Charles Holland has plans.

"Look you here, Henry: until I am convinced that some things have happened which it is totally impossible could happen by any human means whatever, I will not ascribe them to supernatural influence." "But what human means, Charles, could produce what I have now narrated to you?" "I do not know, just at present, but I will give the subject the most attentive consideration. Will you accommodate me here for a time?"

-- He is going to converse with Flora upon the subject

-- He will say nothing to add to her fears thereunto

-- He will touch base re: a paradigm shift with Henry's brother George, Mr. Marchdale, and Mr. Dr. Chillingworth to move the needle on some core competencies

-- He will tell Henry to buck up, until yea, Henry does rejoice in his command of executive function

And Charles Holland is able to do all this because Henry unwittingly Said A Thing: if there's "such a weight of evidence in favour of a belief in the existence of vampyres" that they are compelled to believe in their local ancestral vampyre, CHILLINGWORTH—then that means they can catch it. "It consists," not to put too fine a point on it, "of a revivified corpse," and in that case, Charles Holland would like a motherfucker to try it:

"By Heaven! if ever I catch a glimpse of any such thing, it shall drag me to its home, be that where it may, or I will make it prisoner."

FROM THE DESK OF CHARLES HOLLAND - ACTIONABLE ITEMS

-- The squad will take turns watching over Flora

-- All intrepid protectors will be ready to defend her, potentially with swords and/or crowbars

-- They will have the means of alerting the entire household to any unregulated vampyring

-- There will be a healthy and well-balanced schedule to make sure no one is overly deprived of sleep

-- He's gonna have a roster and everything

-- Forsooth, where is the coffee pot

Meanwhile, Henry's like, oh thank God, someone who knows what he's doing. When Charles Holland says he wants to sleep in the Vampyre Room, in hopes that maybe Sir Ancestor actually will drop by again, Henry is more than happy to show him right in.

I don't think Rymer meant this to sound as creepy as it does, but blowing up the word count by iterating over and over that Charles Holland wants to sleep in Flora's room, exactly the way she left it, with nothing removed, for reasons of his own, results in an unintended (unless...?) ick factor. Spoiler: The reason ends up being, to look at the Von Spookyportrait likeness. That's all. Probably.

In theory, Varney recaps go up on Fridays. I'd like to have the next one up before Dracula Daily kicks off again on May 5th. Send thoughts and vamprayers to me.

Varney the Vampire masterpost

[overbearingstruggles]

Hi! I've been... kinda out of the fandom for YEARS. Do you have/know of a masterpost of what went on with Alex and Lisa for... the past two years, apparently?

Want to preface this with it was less Big Obvious things and much moreso IYKYK vibes of weird shit or most importantly, the lack of certain types of posts. An semi-hinged timeline of Summer 2020-October 2022:

2020

June 

They start doing Crash Test Live and from the first episode Alex isn’t wearing his wedding ring. It gets talked about amongst fans a bit for months but with farm work it seems practical enough.

July

Lisa is posting him, seems normal!

By end of Summer/Augustish it’s becoming more noticeable Alex is consistently no longer wearing his ring on CTL or in zoom M&Gs.

October-November 

 Alex is in LA a lot.

December 

Everything seems normal despite Alex's missing ring because he's home and Lisa is posting him.

He's home with Dorl and Steve for his birthday and it’s the last time we see him at the farm till April 2022. Lisa doesn't make a grid post but she posts. His birthday post for her is a little weird. Not huge red flag weird, but was absolutely something some of us noticed as being more over the top than usual.

Alex posts his social media hiatus. Something he's never done before but hey it's pandemic so everyone needs a break.

Lisa doesn't have any major Christmas or New Year's posts which is off brand but again, it's fucking pandemic so everyone is being weird, right?

2021

January

Alex posts that he's hiking with Danny who lives in LA. I don't have the posts or exact dates, but around this time, Lisa has posted about her Dad having some health issues and eventually having a quadruple bypass. And Alex seemingly is not home. Lisa never being overt has some interesting posts.

February

 ATL plays Good Morning America and Lisa makes no acknowledgement. Valentine's Day comes and goes

February/March

Alex takes a ski/snowboard trip with Danny (we all forgot to archive stories) which is interesting because he and Lisa took trips to Park City so he’s doing things they would typically do together. Somewhere in this time Danny’s Caroline also sends her a bracelet or some sort of gift which seems interesting.

March

Alex still has not been back to the east coast, but takes another vacation with Rian, Steve, Rian's terrible new girlfriend and her Trump supporter friends at Rian's gf's family's Aspen mansion. They release Once in a Lifetime which is straight to the point! When it seems like Lisa won't post about it, she does! In the fucking weirdest of ways.

The next night, Alex posts and deletes a poem to and video with his horse. It’s confusing and we briefly think he’s back at the farm.

April

It’s their 5 year wedding anniversary but Lisa takes a conveniently timed social media hiatus and Alex doesn't post but he’s definitely back in LA and acting weird about his personal life in interviews.

June

Alex finally goes to the east coast and seems to be packing and/or rummaging at his parents, finding nostalgic shit.

July

Alex is confirmed at his parents.

Lisa hangs out with their mutual friends for 4th of July, clearly not wearing her ring and Alex gets weird. Later in the month, more questionable related shit.

The night of the first show ATL plays, Lisa posts about her bed.

August

Sad Summer starts and Alex is just happy to be on tour or?

 ATL has a day off in NYC and Lisa goes to NYC. We still don’t know why?!?

Lisa is featured in a Baltimore Homes spread. There is no mention of a s/o in anyway but there is a picture of a shelf featuring a wedding photo, and ATL/Simple Creatures things.

September

About a week later, Lisa posts a video dancing in front of the shelf and it’s different. Later she posts directly about redecorating the shelf, void of all Alex relics.

Alex does an interview saying he lives in LA and when asked where he stays when he goes back to MD he starts with “Good question!” and lands on staying with his parents.

October

 the allegations happen so Alex is even less present online than before, which is already limited. We’re still struggling.

November

It’s noticed Lisa has removed Alex posts from her “Fam” highlights on Instagram

December

Lisa posts “Good Riddance to 2021″ and notably ATL decor is missing.

2022

February

Lisa takes a trip to Mexico City and never mentions who she's with. One of their friends posts a comment about "him" that gets deleted. We assume she was seeing someone serious enough take a vacation with and that's all we ever gather about that. Ever.

March

 Janelle makes the "boyfriend soft launch" post which features a picture of 2 glasses of wine she had previously posted in a story  only showing 1 glass, and a pic of her IN HIS T-SHIRT. There was never anything overt to prove they were together but there were LOTS of vibes and timings that never necessarily made sense to compile. I made this timeline on what I think is their precursor to the Lisex split but it’s all speculation.

April - Another wedding anniversary goes by wayside however!

THE WALL - Alex posts a some promo videos and for days it’s debated if they are recorded at the farmhouse. Reader, they are!

Lisa posts watching Batman which just feels telling.

May

Jack and Alex write “Sleepwalking” which seems to have big Missing Her vibes.

June/July

Speculation recap about some things. But includes Lisa posting a pic of Alex on her goat account.

September

one of Alex's aunts tags Lisa in a Facebook post about how lovely it was to see them (twice, to be specific) and Lisa responds that they are looking into a November trip to visit.

October

They are both at Post Malone in New Jersey

Their friends publicly post them together.

Hilariously, Lisa has not posted the new ATL song nor did she repost the tagged posts on her account. Alex virtually has no personal posts anymore but off brand for Lisa.

[antiquepearlss]

Persephone. The goddess of spring and agriculture, goddess and judge of the dead, and queen of hades.

For the longest time persephone was shunted back as a minor goddess. And when people talked about her, she was an innocent maiden who was kidnapped by the evil hades.

But nowadays the younger generation have been getting into the Greek myths and learning about the gatekeeping girlboss that is our pastel goth queen. This woman predates hades, was known as Dread Persephone, was widely feared as the goddess of the dead, and wore a flower crown while doing it. Persephone got me into greek mythology and like many other nerds, remains one of my favorites. So in honor of this increasingly popular goddess, I've compiled a list of my 5 favorite interpretations...

Lore Olympus *slight spoilers*

I first started really getting into Greek Mythology just maybe a year before finding out about this comic, so I didn't view it with as much of a critical eye as I do now. The early seasons don't portray Persephone as well but I understand that mythological accuracy has to take a back seat to character development. And I enjoy her character now after the hiatus. She's definitely grown and seems more respectable. Although, she hasn't quite earned her dread queen title yet. Her main appeal is 1) her devotion to Hades. When I got into greek mythos back in 2017? People still saw Perse as a damsel in distress who hated her husband, which isn't supported by mythology. She genuinely loves hades in LO and it's clear she would do anything for him, even putting him in his place sometimes. Also I love their banter. 2) I love her design. I'm not the biggest fan of pink but it really works for her, esp in season 2 when she wears more green. I like that her signature color is white but in the underworld she wears darker shades.

Punderworld

Alot of people (mostly lo antis) claim this to be the best version of the H+P myth and this is the greatest interpretation of our pegging queen. And I thought it was...okay. I do like like creator and her versions of hades, hestia hera, etc are amazing. I enjoy looking at her thought process and the inspiration for the gods designs. I love persephones spunky and flirty characterization. She seems like like rebellious teen while still having that charm and charisma you'd associate with with young goddess. It's alot of fun to read, her and apollos dynamic is my favorite. I love the flower crown and the different shapes it takes (horns, flowers, vines, etc.) Other than that I found her design slightly boring, but I'm picky when it comes to wardrobe. I'm hoping as punderworld goes on she gets more gothic and scary

Hadestown

I'm so sad that Amber Gray is leaving, her persephone was amazing. Alot of people portray Persephone as younger and more cutesy, but Hadestown went all in the other direction. I love the darker more mature vibe she has. With her attitude, husky voice (slight drinking problem) and Our Lady of The Underground, they definitely got a more chthonic appeal. I also love the costume. Personally I think her dress could use more decal but other than that I love it, and how just changing the color seamlessly goes from springy summertime to witchy goth. It's definitely a unique take on persephone that I hope becomes more mainstream.

Smite

I don't actually play smite but I've watched playthroughs and I've watched persephones trailer. I'm in love. I love that they gave her a more sinister edge. Purposefully eating the pomegranate and laughing maniacally. This definitely feels the the Persephone whom the mortals feared. And her design is quite possibly the best. The artists perfected the mix between springy pastel flowers and dark chthonic armor. My favorite Persephone design. 100 pomegranate seeds/10

Overly Sarcastic Productions

I debated on adding this as OSP is an educational channel so they don't stray far from what characterization is in the myths, but the way Red draws perse and how she interacts with other gods put this in my top tier. While simpler, I love the design. It's very unique and still keeps a pastel goth theme. Making her skintones pastel whilst putting her in a victorian gothic dress. Red often portrayed persephone as kinda a cutesy flower goddess with a black dress but lately she's been going in a more death queen vibe. Shes shown to be a very doting spouse and loving individual, who will absolutely mess you up. @ sisyphus

Overall, it's easy to botch up perse in my opinion. Some people make her too much of an innocent flower goddess *cough disney* and some people make her hateful and resentful of her husband *cough cough Percy Jackson movies cough* but these I believe are the best. Some honorable mentions include

Allison Shaws Perse

Olympus Guardians Perse (severely underrated show)

Hades-Im the end (underrated webtoon)

Gods schools perse (hate her voice but design is 100)

I don't consume an awful lot of greek mythology related media, but I'm planning on doing another one of these on hera and hermes, as they are also favorites of mine.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday wonderful fandom :) I can’t believe we’ve reached the finale I’m in shock we're here. This has been my side hobby for 9 plus months. I started these to get through the extended hiatus. I wasn’t even sure anyone would even read them. The response I got was so lovely. I adore this fandom. So welcoming to any new Chenford content.

So thank you to everyone who’s read these especially those who've been with me since the very beginning. I can’t explain how much it has meant to me. Whether it was likes, reblogs or comments. Special shout out to my tumblr bestie @makeitastrength and @northern-neighbor You both commented on every single one of these. Thank you so much for your insight and sticking with me this entire time. Means more than you'll ever know.

I’m planning to do mini reviews during this new season. Then this same kind of thing during our hiatus hopefully we’ll have S7 locked in by then. *fingers crossed* I finished this before S6 which was my goal. We are only 8 days away which is unreal. Eeeee. Let us get started.

5x22 Under Siege

This episode starts off with all kinds of anxiety. Aaron and Celina kill me with not calling the noise in WHY.... Why didn’t you call it in? Ugh. Celina lying on top of Aaron protecting him till they arrive. Rip my damn heart out right off the bat why don't ya? I’m going to cry. I love Tim and Lucy showing up to the scene together. They’re clearly off shift and showing up to the scene with each other. I love these little details they make my heart so happy.

They’re a packaged deal now and I couldn’t be happier about it. Also like to note looks like Lucy is wearing one of his jackets. Maybe they were at his place when they got the call? The sleeves look long on her and I adore it. Basically living together at this point. I can’t get over it. Just casually showing up to scenes now. Ain’t no thang. This thought is where I live till S6 LOL

Anyways Tim says he heard it was Aaron. Grey confirms this is true. GSW to the back. Looks like the same spot Jackson was shot. Eerily so. Three masked men and they were ambushed. The painful parallels to Jackson’s death in this one getting me in the feels. Grey has them start to work the scene. Lucy looks incredibly upset but is trying to keep it in check. Probably feeling the Jackson vibes too.

Our couple arrives at the hospital with an update. Once again arriving together. I love the quick looks we get as they approach. That silent communication of their's ever present. Also she is wearing the necklace I must comment. It’s popping against that shirt she is wearing. Like to also point out how look at each other while the other speaks. It’s the little things I love so very much. Getting massive 4x01 vibes from this scene too. Reminding me of the scene is Wes's living room night after the hug. The height difference, the way Lucy is looking at Tim as he speaks. United front power couple vibes.

So much can change and things like this stay the same I love it. They’re reporting back their CI’s have nothing. No one has heard back about a gang targeting cops. Lucy has also hit a dead end with the masks. Their next idea was Elijah but Tim says nothing out of prison confirming that. Angela and Wes are working on the riddle. Grey tells them to head home they’re not getting anywhere tonight. Once they've all left Grey turning to Luna saying he can lose another. Ugh getting me in the feels so early in this episode. More Jackson feels.

Lucy and Tim get home late. The minute they’re back Lucy’s walls are down. Tim can see how upset she is. Another great callback to 4x01. To that hug. Only this time Lucy doesn’t have to ask for it. Tim seeks her out. See’s how now that they're home her work walls are down. She is visibly wrecked and can't hold back the tears any longer. I love how he pulls her right into his arms. Being the exact comfort she needs in this moment. He can't stand to see her upset. Wanting to make it better.

Tim grabbing her instantly is so lovely. Lucy crashes into him and falls apart. He gets to comfort as much as she needs now. How very far we’ve come. It’s been a beautiful journey to this point. Lucy is ready to fall apart in her safe place. Knowing Tim will be there pick up the pieces. Shield her from the PTSD this must be bringing up for her. I love how he encases her fully. One hand around her back the other gently cradling her head to his chest.

Tim closing his eyes wanting to absorb her sadness. The swaying and his chin on top of her head. *squee* I love her being fully enclosed in his arms. Also never be over the fact Eric improvised the kiss to her head. Forever squeeing about that fact. Our ship King is the best. Oh captain my captain. How damn intimate and sweet it is as he does as such. Then resting his head back on hers. Telling her ‘It’s ok.’ His hand in her hair rubbing her back soothingly. I cannot. Lucy was alone last time. Grieved alone and dealt with everything solo.

Now she never has to be alone again and I wanna cry at that thought. Getting emotional at how beautiful this hug is. Lovely ray of sunshine in a rather dark finale. I love this scene so much it made my chest hurt. You want to see outstanding chemistry in a short amount of time? Watch this scene. Melissa and Eric are glorious together. We truly are so lucky to have them as our ship. This is such a soft and gentle moment.

Tim pulling her in and wanting to comfort her has me all in my feels. Lucy has this wonderful man to catch her when she falls now. To be able to absolutely come apart in his arms. Knowing he’ll be there to comfort and keep her together when she does. Gah I love them so much. Also A + to whoever does the music. The song in this moment is adding to the emotional depth of the scene. Amazingly good. It’s been so on point in this season. They need a raise whoever does this.

They finally have some suspects to track down. Violent felons that have connection to the station and to them as a group. Lucy offers to check on one by herself. Grey says no and Tim offers to go with her. Because he loves her and wants to keep her in his sights. They’ve all been attacked at this point. Except for him and Lucy. No way he’s letting her go solo. It’s not cause he didn’t trust her to handle herself. He can’t handle her going alone. His instincts on high alert.

Lucy telling Tim he should be out knocking down doors with Metro. Tim tells her 'He’s good'. As good as he can be without letting her out of his sights during this. Only they could so effortlessly flirt while on duty. In the middle of an intense OP. Lucy letting him know she doesn’t need him to protect her. Tim is very aware of this. Says he knows. Lucy turning this moment into some very cute light banter. Saying he is telling her he needs the protecting. Tim being sassy right back with his reply above. God I love them.

Their teasing and banter is iconic. Lucy’s next line is fantastic. I know we haven’t had an official ILY you yet. But they’ve said it so many different ways this season. In moments such as this. When we do officially get it not gonna be a shock to either of them. Tim telling her 'Back at you.' Making me all emotional. They are such a power couple and the next portion of this episode proves that. I’ve always said watching them in the field is poetry in motion. This next battle scene is literal proof of such.

It’s a good thing Tim came with her. I don’t want to think what would’ve happened if she’d been alone. The creepy crowd coming at them. My stomach dropped. First Tim willing to sacrifice himself for her so she could get away. *heart clutch* Man would die for her and not even blink in the decision making process. Lucy of course will not allow this whatsoever. Valiant or not he’s not falling on his sword for her.

We get a nice call back to 1x18. Not only with Lucy saying they need to go to higher ground. Like he taught her in that ep but to show no mercy. Tim instructing they hurt as many as they can and then retreat upstairs. Lucy getting exactly what he’s saying because they’re simpatico. This entire scene shows that. Also LOVE Lucy saying they only stand a chance TOGETHER. Theme of this season right here. They're better together. Damn right.

What a bad ass battle couple we have. Look at this scene. Lucy calling the audibles in this moment and Tim following her play. Repeating it back and saying 'Copy that.' Gah I love this so very much. Tim trusts her gut without question. Not a doubt in his mind to go with it. The amount of respect he has for her in the field is immense. He was going to stay behind she said no. Then Tim instantly followed her lead after that.

Damnit I love them so much. Tim’s instinct is to always protect Lucy. Where her's is to protect them both in this moment. It’s never because he thinks she can’t handle it. Tim just can’t handle the idea of losing her if he doesn’t. Started from the bottom now we're here and I’m emotional. Also the song once again killer during this epic scene.

Love her touching his arm before they engage in battle in that first one. Look at them in the final two above. I know Eric said they had a blast filming this. They are so damn in-sync. It's such an amazing thing to watch them take these people on. Like I've sad many times before poetry in motion when they're in the field. I love getting to watch the well oiled machine that is them. This was that on steroids ha

Eric was so excited for us to watch this scene and I can see why. It so fun to watch. Taking these guys apart together one at a time. I LOVE Lucy taking that guy out and then grabbing his riot shield. Tim is starting to get overwhelmed and she makes work of what's around her. Running towards Tim getting that guy off her man. With a very impressive shove might I add. Sends him flying down the stairs with the others. They have to start retreating up the stairs after this. They are slowly running out of ammo as well. Backup has yet to arrive and they're battling the best they can to stay alive till it does.

Harper and Nolan finally arrive on scene. Nyla tells John to get to them. She is going to get her sniper rifle even the odds a bit. Unfortunately even with higher ground they’re getting ambushed from all sides now. It's now all melee combat at this point without ammo. Tim takes a guy out with pepper spray and gets a guy off his girl.

Who is literally choking the life out of her. Tim dispatches this guy with any remaining rage he has left. Smashing this guy's face into the wall. Making sure he can't get up to get back to her. All the while Harper being a bad ass snipping people left and right for Tim. This scene is epic af. I love it so much. One of my all time field scenes for sure. They did a damn good job with this holy cow.

Then we get an other beautiful parallel from 1x01 to now. When Lucy pulled Tim to safety mid battle. We get to see Tim do the same for her. The way Tim scoops Lucy up and carries her to safety. I’m not crying you are.... Power couple since day one they just didn’t know it yet. The way he picks her up and then shields her with his body. Gah it’s so good.

When the door opens Tim is worried it’s another bad guy. He shields Lucy with his body. Ready to take a hit to keep her protected. Not willing to let them get at her again. I’m sobbing everyone. The instinct to always protect one another. I’m drowning in feels over here in the best way. Nolan ushers them to safety. Never been happier to see John Nolan in my life LOL

They make it to the stairway battered and bruised. Gasping for air as they try to recover from what just happened. Let’s look at the no space between them when they land on the stairs. Tim reaching out for her instantly. Placing his hand on her thigh checking on her. TWICE might I add. He touches her twice there. While checking around to make sure they’re truly safe. Lucy reaches out for his hand on the first touch. Also their heads touching as well in that first gif. Gah this mini moment has so much to it.

Tim is grounding himself in this moment through those touches. Making sure Lucy is breathing and he can stand down to catch his own breath. Such an intimate moment after an incredibly intense battle. He almost lost her so he is reaching out and making sure she’s ok. He also needs to touch her to settle himself. It was to tell her we’re ok now’s and to confirm to himself she was as well. Damnit it's so good. Don't tell me one of Tim’s biggest love languages isn’t physical touch. It for sure is.

Our last shot of the season for them. Just a BAMF couple post battle. Height difference that I love so much. The check in’s they do walking away knowing this could've been so much worse. Battle worn and bruised. These shots always hit harder knowing they’re together. I would like to think they would fuss over each other's wounds at the hospital. Or at home. We shall see what S6 brings for that if anything regarding it. If not sure someone will write a fic. LOL

The lack of personal space as they walk from the scene always floors me. As close they can possibly be at the moment. Sure Tim is thanking his lucky stars he came with her. I don’t wanna imagine what would’ve happened had he not. Or what Tim would’ve done had something happened. They looks so exhausted they’ve earned a good snuggle and some alone time. Sadly they're still in the middle of case so that's a no go.

Look at our power couple everyone. They're ours. We get to have them. And have a season to look forward to. I was so nervous about the season ending. Knowing this strike could last a long time and it did. Luckily we are coming out of it. Light is at the end of the tunnel. Looking forward to S6 and all the squeeing to come with it.

~~~~

Side notes non-Chenford

This episode one giant stress. One of them being when they try and take Harper’s daughter. The panic in my soul for her. My goodness this finale was great.

All of Celina's scene with Aaron pulling at my feels as well.

Thank you everyone once again who supported these reviews. They started out as a way to fill time between S5 and S6. Became a truly fun hobby for me. Kinda sad the ride is over but like I said at the beginning I’ll do mini reviews each week for s6 won’t be rid of that easily ❤️❤️ Can’t wait to delve in S6 with you all :)

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - March

Just a little PSA - I am on a little hiatus until April the 9th. I have some personal stuff to deal with, but nothing bad 😁 Positive all the way and good for my personal growth!

I won't be able to gif any of the series for the time, but I will watch them and perhaps write down some thoughts 😊 And if you want me to gif some scenes, just let me know and I will get to them when I am finished with my stuff 😊 And of course I will still reblog stuff from all of these wonderful creators on this site!

Please stay healthy and happy!

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 31.03.2023

This may contain spoilers!

1. A Boss and A Babe (5/12 on Youtube)

I am not the biggest fan of ForceBook, mostly because I didn't like Enchanté, but I could help myself and smile troughout this series. Cher is annoying, but it works here, I guess? I don't know what it is. It is fun to watch.

2. Bed Friend (6/10 on iQiyi)

The trauma is strong in this one! As are the tension and longing looks of King. And Uea is beautiful and knows how to play the game.

3. Chains of Heart (6/10 on iQiyi)

Cinematography and scenery - stunning! Really pretty and dark and atmospheric. I guess I get used to the subtitles and the acting improved. So I kind of like this one? I definitely have a weak spot for Mr. Lue.

5. Past Senger (4/12 on Gaga)

What the mess did I just watch? It was boring and funny and cringy and funny and I don't know...Do I like the vibes it gives away? We will see. Episode 2 didn't help! It is really cringy and the acting is...not that good -.-

6. The Eighth Sense (2/10 on Viki)

I like the first two epsiodes. I have a weak spot for surfing ever since the movie Shelter and this is just a dream came true. I am curious about the characters and their developement. But the cliffhanger from episode two was brutal!

7. The Promise (5/10 on WeTV)

I like it. Are there cringy moments? Yes. Are there slapstick moments I can hardly deal with? Yes. Are there plotholes that bug me? Sure...but! I like it. I like Nan and Phu together and I love the slow burn and am I well entertained. I also enjoy little Party being the jealous king he is, who deeply care for Nan and if latter would choose him, i wouldn't be that angry!

8. Tin Tem Jai (5/10 on Gaga)

And we took 45 steps back and the show is kind of annoying like before...Tin can't stop aksing Park to marry him and it gets to a point where it just annoys the crap out of me. But Park can't say a clear word so what do we do here? Just let him date the cute senior.

9. Unintentional Love Story (6/10)

Okay, I am in love with this one. I know it will hurt when the truth comes out, but I am willing to get hurt for them. The chemistry is wild between them and I am looking forward to the second couple!

Finished in March

Series

1. History 5: Love in the Future (10/10 on Viki)

I really don't like it. the plot was stupid and boring. The plotholes big and heavy like black holes. The chemistry...I don't like it either in the end. Vincent was the only reason I was looking forward to this one. And the whole time travel thing was just so stupid and irrelevant! It could have been good, but it wasn't. 3 out of 10 for me.

2. Utsukushii Kare Season 2 (4/4 on Gaga)

I fell in love with Kiyoi, especially in the last two epsiodes. I am curious about the upcoming movie. The season was good and most of all in the end with a kind of good communication. 7 out of 10 for me.

3. Moonlight Chicken (8/8 on Youtube)

I love it! It has everything I can dream of in a series. It has beautiful cinematography and scenery. The acting was top. The story...so good! All the stories were just so good! I love EarthMix and they delivered. And I love GeminiFourth and they delivered too. They had to deal with endings and letting go and new beginnings and angst and grief and hope and joy and happiness and love and everything! Just everything! Definitely a 10 out of 10 for me!

4. Island Part 2 (4/6 - non bl)

It was not as good as the first part, because it felt too rushed and there were some parts that needed more time to explain. Besides that it was a good fantasy/mystical show with some nice effects and a pretty cast. The ending though...I don't know...will there be a part 3??? I give it 8 out of 10.

5. Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (7/8 on Gaga aka The End of the World with you)

It started so strong! I really liked the depressing atmosphere and world ending vibe. But it lost me in the middle of the journey. Suddenly there were some supernatural elements that don't make sense and are not at all explained. And don't get me started on the kissing scenes! There are some really explict scenes, but they kissed like they didn't wanna touch or hurt each other. It was not bad, but also not that good in the end. It is a 6,5 out of 10 for me.

6. Shadow and Bone (5/8 on Netflix - no bl, but queer representation)

I am really shoping for a third season, the cliffhanger was harsh! This is not a perfect series, but I like it and besides Alina, I like every character. And yes, my favorite are of course Wesper! They were cute and had some sweet scenes together and I really want to know if Jesper will train his powers. It is a 9 out of 10 for me.

7. All the Liquors (6/8 on Gaga)

It started promising for me. I liked it. I thought perhaps they are going the road that they learn from each other. one is drinking and glorificating alcohol less and the other is going to be more open to dfferent opinions. But nope, drinking is fine and fun and now our chef drinks alcohol to every meal and I don't like it. Yes perhaps personal reasons play a big role and perhaps the glorification of alcohol triggers my mind a little bit too much. And the kiss...well they could have done better. 6 out of 10 for me.

8. A Shoulder To Cry On (on Viki)

Was it a perfect show? No. Was the acting good? Yes. Was the chemistry believable? Yes. Do I need a kiss in every bl? No. Was there a lack of romance and love? Kind of. Did I like it? Yes, I did. The adaptation stick to the original manhwa and there wasn't big love confessions or depictions of affection. I think the series was fine until the last minute. I liked their own way of love. Not everything has to end with a kiss. I am happy with the story. 8 out of 10 for me.

9. Our Dating Sim (on Viki)

Perfection! I love it. The story was so good. The chemistry was so good. Everything felt so natural. The pacing was believable. I klnow I will rewatch this one from time to time just to have a good time. Oh how much I love this one! Strong 10 out of 10 for me.

10. Jack o'Frost (on Gaga)

Well this was a quiet little gem. I loved how they showed the relationship throughout the different times, how it started, how it progressed and how it ended. There was drama all the time, but it felt real and that is one of the small details I really enjoyed about this one. The story felt real. It is a 9 out of 10 for me.

Short Film

Movie

1. The Chronicles of a boy (Homo Phobia) (on Gaga)

Meet Yeong Taek, a young man, who has suffered an absured amount of physical and psychological abuse and has a tendency for strangeling people who did him wrong...There were things I liked about this movie and which were kind of challenging, but overall I didn't like it. And didn't like the protagonist. Would not recommend this one. 4,5 out of 10 for me.

Dropped/On Hold in March

1. Boyband

Because they decided not to air it any longer on youtube, I stopped watching it...It was promising though...

2. Love Syndrome III

I have watched the first half of the first epsiode and I couldn't watch any further. I can't tell how the story will progress, but right now I really can't stand the character of Itt. Why is he always so damn angry and loud?

Looking Forward to in March (with MDL-Links)

The Promise (March 1 on WeTV)

All The Liquors (March 2 on GagaOOLala)

A Boss And A Babe (March 3 on Youtube)

Love Syndrome (March 4 on WeTV)

PastSenger (March 8 on GagaOOLala)

Our Dating Sim (March 9 on Viki)

Future (March 19 on GagaOOLala)

A Shoulder To Cry On (March 14 on Viki)

Unintentional Love Story (March 17)

Make a Wish (March 22)

The Eighth Sense (March 29 on Viki)

Shadow (not sure)

[what-if-nct]

hi hi hi today's reminder is correct me if I'm wrong but taeil hasn't been on hiatus super long. it's been, what, a couple of months at most? it was a little bit before the concert if i remember correctly. so you're telling me that 127 (well…certain members, but my point stands) have been unemployed for Months, to the point where fans were begging sm to show us taeil, and they decided to shoot the promo material for the new 127 album while they were preparing for/actually performing a whole other concert instead of while they were free??? and made the staff pick/edit/draft the content on what I'm sure was an insane deadline?? like that's nine whole, very distinct, films, that would've taken ages. i don't pretend to be an expert on k pop idol scheduling but surely there's better ways to go about it

anyway. i love that they still included taeil while letting him heal up. the vibe of these have been all over the place tho because why is jaehyun negotiating a deal with a sophisticated mob boss while taeil is straight up being given drugs at a night club? why is jungwoo just playing games while doyoung is contemplating what went wrong in his marriage in front of a pet shop aquarium?

Hiii, yeah it seems like golden age teasers were done over at least the past year as they all traveled during tours and even sent someone to film Winwin during his personal schedules. So to cram 127s in the span of like two or three months was definitely a decision since they all vary quite greatly but perhaps because they're all just in Korea and seemingly the same area that could of helped but how they did it is a mystery to me as well. It was a nice way to include taeil while he's resting. And I so far deciphered two distinct vibes there's the somber, dark film vibe with Johnny, Yuta, Doyoung and Jaehyun then the more light hearted party vibe with Mark, Jungwoo and Taeyong. Haechan fits in with the light hearted part. And Taeil's a mix of the both but because it's an animation I can't quite feel the vibe as well. But it does fit 127s overall energy. And my best guess the theme is overall quite dark and grungy which like watch it be the exact opposite but somehow be about getting a blowjob behind a 7\11. Which Jungwoo, you know where to find me.

Also unrelated but skz VMAs talk once more but I was weary of the reactions to skz watching Megan and Cardi perform. Why? cause I know how kpop fans are. And I didn't care about their reactions but I was prepared to be angry at things that fans said and look at that I was right. And I just wanna say

one, they're grown ass men I highly doubt they haven't seen a Cardi b or Megan music video. We've seen NCT sing Megan, Cardi and Nicki songs. Kpop idols haven't been sheltered from the obscenity of female rappers chill.

Two Changbin and Hyunjin weren't looking away from Megan twerking they were watching Cardi walk over to the other stage. Just like they were watching Megan perform on that same stage for her verse.

Three they weren't fucking traumatized, they're not innocent babies being corrupted by the female body. Someone said the dancers were so sexualized they couldn't watch it. Use sexualized wrong again, I want a kpop fan to use sexualize the wrong way again.

The dancers, Cardi & Megan choose to dress and dance that way it's a choice. Was it my choice for my class to look up my skirt and the teacher not stop it or say a word or for boys to try to throw things in my cleavage when i was 14 was that my choice? No. There's a fucking difference. Not everything sexual is sexualized. Sometimes it's just sexy and that's okay. Women are allowed to express their sexuality. I'm sorry that just triggers something in me.

Anyway all of the negative things I see are definitely slightly if not blatantly anti black, sexist,infantalizing, and I've even seen fatphobia which....why the fuck? God forbid women have fat on their body. This may seem over dramatic but I will never forgive kpop fans for what they did to cupcakke so I am hyper vigilant and the hate kpop fans have toward black women is just so disgusting. But yeah how dare women dress and perform as they wish in an area where your precious innocent 21 to 25 year old men are and clearly there's no way they can enjoy such sexual performances. I wanted to call those fans very mean things but I will say. All fans over the age of 20 and with common sense are cool and I love you and are a good 68% of the fans the rest of y'all, just grow up.