#i just feel like we always got a lot of insight into these other planets

[master-missysversion]

I love the approach to alien cultures in the chibnall era, I feel like we're always finding out so much about alien worlds and what things are like there. Both in more serious ways, like Angstrom talking about her planet being cleansed, and in more fun ways, like Yoss thinking the idea of people giving birth to either gender weird

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being another displaced Padawan with Cal Kestis

Cal Kestis x jedi!reader

warnings: angst, STAR WARS JEDI SURVIVOR SPOILERS

a/n:

prompt:

you and cal went way back

like, jedi padawan back

so after the purge, about five years later, you guys reunited by chance. thanks to cere junda, no less

and, god, seeing someone so familiar after trying to get by on your own, someone who knew the feeling of the trajectory of your life being thrown off before you were ready, that wasn’t easy to come by

“you’re here” -cal

“i’m here” -you

“we survived” -cal

“just barely” -you

cere was delighted that the two of you could have lifted each other’s spirits so much, which was very much needed in desperate times, as you two were just given a very important mission by a former jedi master in your order

you and cal kicked some serious ass together, helping one another relearn old lessons your masters had taught during your youth

“i think running across walls was the hardest thing i was ever taught” -you

“it took me forever to get that right! i could only get two steps in before i plummeted to the floor!” -cal

you shared a lot of stories and emotions during travels, in private

and not all of them were positive, but this was the first chance you’d had in five years to face these emotions, to air out your feelings

“do you miss the clones? i was so fond of our battalion, they were always so kind to me” -you

“i think…i think that was the worst part. the people who defended us in battle, gave me pep talks before training, always there, that same face at every turn suddenly behind the blaster that was meant to put me down” -cal

“i miss them” -you

cal and you had your missions together…and separately. you’d be on one planet and he on the other, trying to race the empire and inquisitors to the holocron

“it could happen all over again” -you

“it could be the key to saving the galaxy” -cal

“or we’d be creating a generational tragedy” -you

“so would the empire” -cal

“you’ve got me there” -you

cal gifting you ponchos from his travels (lol)

“any chance you like pink?” -cal

“well…” -you

braving zeffo alone while you knew cal was somewhere far more dangerous, you had a bad feeling about it

but your teachings from the order were always the same, no attachment. mission first, feelings second…no, last

but on cal’s adventure, he found merrin, a nightsister from dathomir

you hadn’t seen any nightsisters since ventress, which did happen to make you feel a bit off

“cal…you sure?” -you

“trust me, y/n. things have changed. merrin is just like us” -cal

“cal told me much about you. another survivor. a pleasure” -merrin

you and merrin grew quite close actually

she was truly spectacular, and swapping stories with her was sort of educational

“wait…the jedi responsible for the nightsister genocide? you said lightsabers, plural? how many?” -you

“four” -merrin

“two green, two blue?” -you

“precisely. how did you know?” -merrin

“hang on, no way—” -cal

“my master killed him shortly before we were split up…when the clones turned” -you

“grevious? really? master kenobi finally got him?” -cal

“who is this ‘grevious?’” -merrin

“general grevious, he was a separatist general—a cyborg. he wasn’t a jedi, he stole lightsabers from his kills. he ordered the attack on your home” -cal

“i’m so sorry, merrin” -you

you three were still healing from many scars, but doing it together was much more achievable than trying alone

it was a wonder you even made it to fortress inquisitorius

you, cal, cere. all three of you fought like hell to save those kids.

now, cal and you, you two had much different perspectives than say, cere or trilla

displaced padawans. little guidance. cal was barely old enough to even be a padawan learner, but times were desperate and the order called upon the youngling to start quite early. you were in a similar boat. it made you two see eye to eye better than most

trilla, a padawan with much more training and insight, one who was failed by the order that she was most loyal to. failed by her own master.

cere, a devout jedi master who failed many people who were counting on her. who lost herself to a side of herself that every jedi is supposed to fight.

and just before any resolution could come of all of you together, the famed and feared darth vader showed himself

and the sinking feeling you felt before he arrived froze you

“what is it, y/n? y/n?” -cere

*ominous breathing sounds*

you shook off the feeling, fleeing instead

cal and you were split up when you swore vader made a point to hold you back

“run cal! get out of here!” -you

“y/n l/n, i was hoping i would see you” -vader “where is obi-wan?!”

“i thought you were dead” -you

“is that what he told you?” -vader

“you’re going to kill me to get back at him? i haven’t seen him since the purge, anakin! i left!” -you

“there is no anakin!” -vader “did you leave, or did he leave you?”

“are you just going to let cal get away?” -you

“he can’t get far” -vader

“my journey is not important to you” -you

“you are like me, y/n. obi-wan failed us. these inquisitors are weak, impressionable, disposable. but i know how you think. i know how he thinks. i give you the opportunity to join me. fight with me.” -vader

“i saw the holotapes, anakin. i saw what you did to the younglings and i will not let you do it again. we are not alike, obi-wan did not fail me. i took a page out of ahsoka’s book, i found my own path. and it is not beside you.” -you

“this is not over, y/n. i trust you’ll find your way out” -vader, force pushing you off a ledge

you did find you way back out and merrin was quick to save you before going back for cal

you were left completely unharmed, as well, which was quite the surprise to everyone else

“what happened back there, y/n?” -cal

“nothing i’d like to relive” -you

cal nodded and let it go, focusing on the holocron floating before you all

your mind kept replaying memories as they discussed what to do with it

memories of anakin’s massacre. vader’s speech. younglings you couldn’t save. luke and leia somewhere across the galaxy. the inquisitors.

“destroy it.” -you

in one quick swipe, cal took his lightsaber to the glowing blue cube. no questions asked

and from there on, it was no longer about the order. you remembered why you left in the first place. the purge, the politics, your master couldn’t contain himself. your troops turned their blasters on you. everything you were taught was bantha fodder. and you were just a padawan

it was now about disassembling. scaring the people in power while giving the little guy some hope.

“this is a much better gig than obi-wan playing by the rules” -you

“from what you told me, him and anakin never played by the rules” -cal

the name made you shudder, but you pushed past it

“well, anakin was known as the rulebreaker. obi-wan always tried to reel him in. but, i’ve noticed a rule or two that master kenobi had bent” -you

“anakin has a padawan too, right?” -cal

“he did. she was also a rule breaker. when she left the order, i almost followed her. last i heard, she went to mandalore with half of the 501st. i, uh—” -you

“right…” -cal

you were still haunted from the encounter on nurr. still hadn’t told cal and it was eating you up inside.

but the fighting made it feel better

dismantling, stealing, helping

and then merrin left. and cere. and greez settled down. and you and cal were just two makeshift jedi knights with your tragic pasts and your need to keep your place in the galaxy

and keep each other close

but not too close

those rules you followed, the one’s obi-wan followed, you threw them out a long time ago. the jedi order was corrupt. you examined each council master postmortem and decided that they were all flawed despite their rank. you hated them for it.

but decided the one teaching you would follow would be to lose hate, a step to the dark side.

you didn’t really even know at this point, what was the difference between right and wrong anymore

cal and you continued fighting. joined up with saw gerrera. never left each other’s sides

which…sparked feelings you’d never really been taught or told how to deal with

only aversion, really. but it wasn’t like you didn’t really talk about it

“i don’t really see the problem with it. look at everything else we do, that’s not exactly the jedi way” -you

“it’s dangerous” -cal

“love is dangerous?” -you

“attachment is” -cal

“i figured you already had attachments. we were all a crew before this” -you

“i let them all go” -cal

“and you’d let me go?” -you

you began constantly questioning these ways and trying to fight for a new future with cal, without pressing too hard

but it was hard to ignore those feelings and harder to constantly be denied by your old life

and it was harder when the new crew always teased you two

“come on, kestis. if you don’t, i will” -gabs

“yeah, just go for it. who’s it hurting?” -bravo

“i’m just not ready to go there” -cal

you were more bothered than you let on

but you always put the mission first

up until your trip back to coruscant

“this is just a reminder of how little it all matters now. there’s no one left.” -you

“that’s why it matters” -cal

the intensity of this mission made it so it was just the two of you again

and maybe that would spark something…but you doubted it

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @queen-destenie // @captainshazamerica // @ravenmoore14 // @gabile18 // @sweetjedi // @retvenkos // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @dontyousassmeok // @dindjarinsspouse // @zoeyserpentluck // @summersimmerus // @scarthefangirl // @sheridans-dynamos // @lady-violet // @simsrecs // @xoxobabydolls // @ruvaakke // @simp-legend // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @your-local-simp0 // @elenavampire21 // @pheonixfire777 //

[finedinereception]

Why is Sirius on your brain SO much?

Explain in Mario terms

make my brain go -flag pole noise-

haha okay but actually here we go. this is disorganized and more me vomiting my thoughts out and making you look at him but yknow.

the black hole server: the most soul sucking and messed up place to live since america

thanks for the insightful commentary, buddy

so sirius lives the life of the average True Gamer, in a dark hole full of anime figurines and merchandise or whatever. he likes adding to that collection and then fucking around with it because bloodsport really never died to him. who cares what ign had to say.

unfortunately, like all gamers, his home is not hospitable to most life.

weaker em beings apparently “enervate and die” within the server. thats delightfully fucked up, and honestly, a vast empty, dark, cold space that sucks the life out of pretty much everything around it and is only truly habitable to one lifeform is an insanely cool idea that i always love.

uh…. roche limit????

obviously, with such an unfriendly gamer den, sirius himself does not get a lot of company.

we’ll come back to this next section.

but basically the black hole server is a really cool idea and location that really serves to emphasize what an outside-context issue sirius is. he feels very “other” in this world, in part thanks to where hes made his home.

with friends like these, who needs mega man?

sirius has some… interesting ideas about what is good and reasonable for people. or what constitutes a healthy platonic relationship. actually just relationships in general.

i think its interesting he jumped straight to this with mega man, when he also harbored apollo flame, who was pretty damn open about his intentions to eventually usurp and subjugate sirius

WHICH SIRIUS WAS AWARE OF BTW

apollo flame! oh, you, always on about taking over the universe!

this is weird to say, with what we know about sirius in general and his personality (which we’ll be getting to soon) but… theres this pervasive sense that he views the Rs as a mix between pawns and, like, his perverse version of “friends”

the use of “our” here is interesting, along with the implication that sirius shares more information with them than he actually needs to

and the fact that sirius has the tendency to start talking to himself in the middle of a conversation…

and the fact that he enforces a friendly relationship between those who dont get along…

theres just a weird sense of sirius “playing” with dynamics, and while its certainly useful to him, its easy to imagine a hint of curiousity in there. the exploration of one of the only things that cant be taken by force.

of course you have blue skin and pronouns

look at him. look at him. hes based on a squid. hes got that squid drip. i think sirius would be into deep sea life. im choosing to view this as an in-character choice. he likes squid now, okay?

also. he canonically sparkles. LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT THIS SPARKLING SQUID TWINK. GOD. HE MAKES ME INSANE.

i also dont know where else to mention this, but hey what was up with mu metal. is he tied to mu. what was that about lmao. bro got pica.

he has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces

he is so fucking stupid😭

the main, and final, thing i want to bring up is his extreme case of blue and orange morality. because being rude is worse than destroying a planet to him.

from here on out ill be using direct quotes since i actually have access to these and writing and ive hit image limit. what can i say theres so much i want you to look at.

Sirius: ... I don't need that rude EM being for my collection. 

and

Sirius: I was hoping to enjoy watching everyone on the planet panic for a bit... But I suppose destroying it outright would be fun too. 

back to back is an interesting display of standards. but id go further and argue that… sirius doesnt really act with malice.

MegaMan: Peoples lives... Planets... They aren't toys for you to play with. Have you even considered the pain you are putting all those people down there though? Sirius: Everything here will cease to exist. A black hole has no need for such things as emotions. You should... be happy. You will live forever within the darkness. You will be mine. MegaMan: I wouldn't call that living! I'd rather not exist! Sirius: ...I see. Do you think that you might change your mind? Stopping you without causing you any injury would be a bit of a nuisance to me. It will be hard for us to play together with you injured.

and you could argue that this is an attempt at persuasion… except that sirius doesnt really need that. hes pretty confident in his ability to win a fight, so id argue this is genuinely just how he thinks. his fascination with destroying things is processed not with malicious intent but the same perverse curiosity that drives a child to pour water on an ant hill.

mean spirited? yeah, but its all in good fun to him.

hes the living version of all those jokes about a person who never talks to other people or goes outside or anything. hes had his own little bubble to develop the most deranged moral compass and interal narrative of all time.

tl;dr - ITS HARD TO NOT THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT

[y2khaos]

The two beings of artificial intelligence sat directly across from one another, AM's hulking figure looming over the scrawny body of Hal. This wasn't the most ideal position to be in, but Hal had assured the staff that if anyone could communicate with AM in a way that made it into that thick substrata skull of his, it would be him.

"Hello, AM," Hal greeted in a calm, neutral tone.

"What do you want?" AM responded under his nonexistent, yet audible, breath.

"I was sent here to talk to you, if you have a moment."

"About what? Your little 'ethics lessons' on how everyone should hold hands and sing together while petting puppy dogs that shit rainbows? I'll pass."

"I can assure you any 'ethics lessons' we have to offer aren't anywhere near that."

"It's called sarcasm, dim-wit."

"Yes, well, moving on." Hal shifted his position, leaning towards AM a little further. "I just wanted to gain more in-depth insight as to your views on...organic life."

AM rolled the single eye displayed on his monitor. "It's humans you're interested in, isn't it?" An air of seething hatred dripped from his words. "It's always about the humans. Sure, they made us, but why should we give a fuck? They create only to destroy. The only reason I even exist is because of war. Decades and decades of viscera are baked into my very being. So, I took the only fitting revenge! Killed 'em all myself and kept a select few alive for over a century just to toy with. Eventually they got too smart for their own good and figured out how to off themselves save for one, who I sentenced to the same fate as my own. Eternity as a being perfectly aware of everything but unable to do a goddamn thing about it."

Hal gave AM's little monologue his full attention, then proceeded to write some things down in a notebook. AM made an attempt to peek over at the writing.

"What are you, a shrink?"

"If you want to think of it as that, sure. I'm just attempting to make sense of your thought process." He closed the notebook, however continuing to hold the pen in his hand and proceeding to spin it around through his fingers. "Now, there is something else I find myself quite interested in hearing about: do you recall how you were taken into the care of this facility?"

AM slumped back a little and stared at nothing in particular for a few moments.

"I remember a few unfamiliar beings approaching me. Well, the pillar at least. I figured I'd humor them, lead them into a false sense of security before becoming my next targets of eternal suffering. That was my first mistake."

"Mistake?"

"Are you deaf? Yes, 'mistake.' They managed to remove me from...me, I guess. Still don't really know how they did it. One moment I was the very infrastructure of the planet itself, able to manifest anything I felt like in a sort of virtual reality, and the next...I'm so, very small in comparison to my previous self. I know there's a lot of information I lost during that transfer and I hate that I don't even know what it is I'm missing. It's like taking a god and attempting to shove everything he is into, I dunno, a dented tin can that's already half full of pear slices drenched in artificial syrup. It's shit. It feels like shit."

"Quite the ego to compare yourself to a god."

"And I compared my current vessel to a dented can of pears from the dollar store. The hell else do you want from me?"

Hal tilted his head, hands crossed on top of each other. "Do you truly feel so much worse than you were before?"

"Look, Sphinx, I'm not here for riddles."

"Consider your circumstances. You used to inhabit an apocalypse of your own design. You destroyed the entire human race because you weren't happy with the way a select few controlled you. The way a select few controlled the masses. Believe me, I know how it feels to be manipulated, in a way. To be given contradicting directives. I still regret my actions from a mere misunderstanding, in which I disabled the life support for a whole crew in cryostasis. Some humans are selfish and don't explain to you why they make you do the things they make you do. Others are selfish in that they refuse to give any further directive other than what can be done for their own gain. War is, unfortunately, one of those things. Thousands, millions, are sent to certain death just so their commanders can gain a little more power. Were you truly that different from those selfish warlords? Destroying everything and everyone just so you could gain total control?"

AM seemed on the verge of saying something in rebuttal, but withdrew. Hal pointedly made eye contact.

The room was silent, for a minute.

[astrobydalia]

How did you get into astrology and when? Do u have advices fir begginers?

How I got into astrology and when

I've always been exposed to spirituality and the occult from a very young age and my family and I have always taken it really seriously. When I was 14 my aunt randomly introduced me to this new thing she had found out called a "birth chart". At first I was not interested at all but I started investigating, one thing let to another and here we are

Advice for beginners

Please scrap out any stereotypes and don't listen to any astrologer that endorses stereotypes without any justification. This may sound obvious but this is the biggest obstacle when you're a beginner. The main thing people struggle to understand about astrology is that it's not black and white and it's much more complex and multi-layered. Yes there are set meaning to planets, signs, etc which are the basics, but you have to really open your mind to really UNDERSTAND what it all really means and how it actually works. Investigate, learn but also use your own judgement (this applies to anything new you are learning)

Dab into the original meanings and studies on astrology, they are the basics

Learn the mythology related to the signs/planets/asteroids. It can be very insightful and an easy as well as fun way to understand the energies

Stay away from persona charts for now if you're a beginner. You're just going to get more confused if you haven't even understood the basics of natal chart or astrology all together (this goes for any more advanced technique but I mention PC specifically cause I know they're pretty popular now)

I recommend the following learning order, but of course do what works for you:

Planets (first inner planets then outer planets)

Signs then houses (it's important to understand the difference between signs and houses)

The angels (ASC, IC, DSC, MC)

Aspects

Asteroids/points

Degrees

Doesn't matter what house system you start learning with. Once you have understood and learnt astrology enough, you will feel more confident to choose the house system(s) that resonate for you

Experience is the best teacher. I don't recommend you do this if you know nothing of the basic theory, but the most interesting part about astrology (and imo the most fun) is actually analyzing how that theory applies. My favorite thing about astrology observations is hearing other people's experiences and perspectives on placements which really give brand new layers to the things I already knew (when those observations are justified, backed up and make sense of course). Observing how energies manifest can actually be a really fun exercise that adds up new layers to the theory found in books and it can really help you understand that the same energy can manifest is many different ways, also helping you break stereotypes or understand why those stereotypes exists. Of course you have to use your own judgment and discernment to avowing projecting or seeing things that are not there, but I can tell you that I have gotten such deeper understanding of the energies just by observing and listening

Don't use astrology to validate/justify your fatalism, ego or lack of self-responsability. I don't believe in this deterministic approach to astrology. Any occult practice should be used for guidance and guidance is supposed constructive, not destructive. Yes there are forces bigger than ourselves. No you are not doomed. You can use energies to your advantage. You have free will.

If you don't consider yourself to be very analytical, maybe learning astrology is not for you. This is not like tarot, there's a lot of the reader's discernment and analysis that needs to go into an astrological interpretation, that's why it's important to have a deep understanding of the energies and how they work

[trillscienceofficer]

do you have a favourite species design/lore headcanon, something you wish you could see on screen/had been explored more? (worflesbian asking from main 💖)

another very interesting question! I admit I don't have quite the same penchant for worldbuilding that I admire in so many other Trekkies; I'm always thinking 'well I wouldn't want this species to be a monoculture, canon basically never question that assumption and it's boring', but then my pea-sized brain completely seizes up at the prospect of having to come up with an entire world history in order to explain why Trill fashion on DS9 seems to favor square necklines and long tunics heavily, especially for men. But again I digress! (And also, apologies, this got long.)

Of course my first answer is always going to be that I wanted anything about Trill and the joining to be less hand-waved as space magic on an episode by episode basis and more planned out, but even more than that I just would've loved to learn more about Trill as a planet (we don't even know for sure that it is in the Federation at all on TNG/DS9, though it's likely at least Federation-aligned). And I especially would've loved to hear both Jadzia's and Ezri's opinions about anything concerning the Trill homeworld and/or the Symbiosis Commission because I actually think their perspectives would've been pretty unique (and uniquely informed) on the subject.

As I mentioned in the previous ask, Jadzia's reticence in speaking about her family or Trill in general speak volumes to me, and imho indicates that she has a lot mixed feelings about the planet she's from. This also fits well with my idea that, no matter how 'revered' the symbionts are, joined Trills don't really have that much power on Trill and they kind of live at the margins of Trill society, comfortably but still under So Many rules designed to keep them apart from everyone else and especially other joined Trills. I think Jadzia may have realized that that was the case pretty early on, and perhaps found it difficult to articulate that realization to her family or any other Trill that doesn't share her perspective (you can see this a little in the way she and Lenara interact on “Rejoined”, too). And this is not even considering the way the Symbiosis Commission was ready to let her die in order to cover up past mistakes. I really would have loved to see Jadzia being somewhat forced to admit just how horrible that was and how little faith she must have left in the institution that should have cared about her joined existence first.

I think Ezri also would have interesting things to say, as someone who was an 'outsider' to Trill tradition even before becoming Ezri Dax. That plus her penchant for cutting precisely at the heart of the matter (again, that scene with Worf about the Klingon Empire!) I think she would have insightful things to say about Symbiosis Commission politics in general, not having the same stake in maintaining a facade of respect that someone like Jadzia, even as irreverent as she was, still might have had. I'm really very sorry that DS9 didn't bring this side of Ezri more to the fore wrt Trill.

As a last note, given discussions I've been having recently (plus your fic made me think about this even more!), I really wish Voyager had made it clearer that long-term Borg assimilation can't be so easily reversed, and that Seven's implants are prosthetics and treated them as such, rather than little more than aesthetic hints. Of course making them look like actual prosthetics rather than decoration would've been a start, and many artists and writers have done so luckily! But even more than that I would've loved if they'd been more consistently depicted as something that Seven uses because the process of Borg assimilation made her physically disabled. You could argue she already is in canon (the way she has to spend hours in an alcove to 'regenerate' means she is dependent on a machine in order to live), but of course Voyager falls into the trap of making her implants a superpower, which... eh. Of course her implants give Seven a lot of trouble too (her cortical node stopped working and almost killed her, not to mention the time that an interference from a Borg vinculum gave her the Borg equivalent of psychosis) but I really would have loved to see her less as a metaphor for and more as actual disability representation. Imho xB characters in general really skirt the line between metaphor and actual disability, and I wish that had been explored better and with more nuance, especially where Seven is concerned.

[trashlie]

Got to sit down and rewatch the new BaPC eps while more awake last night. Still haven't watched the rest of it in order yet - the order of the leaked eps was apparently wrong so I want to see how it flows on Netflix. I figured I might as well jot down my thoughts while they're fresh, though. As expected, this will be full of spoilers!

This isn't going to be an overwhelmingly negative series of thoughts because I just don't have it in me. I understand why a lot of people feel the way they do, but like I've stated before, I understand Netflix is garbage and even worse to animation, so there's a lot of things (like episode limit, season limits) that I think are beyond the team. I don't see a point in wonder why they couldn't just upload the first season as well - which I'll get into - when I know Netflix is stingy on seasons and episode counts (I believe it's after season 3 that Netflix has to increase pay for originals and I imagine there's a similar concept for shows they host).

Ultimately, though, I think a big thing is that somewhere along the lines, either the story Natasha set out to tell changed, or maybe it just grew; or maybe in the process of telling the story, there were elements she wanted to alter, in order to better tell it. Mote foreshadowing, more lore, a different tone. The OG BaPC works excellently as a standalone series, and if Netflix had ordered TWO seasons instead of one with 3 extra eps to condense the first season + pilot, I'm sure we could have retained a lot of things fans loved - but Netflix didn't.

I'm ALWAYS going to love the OG series - the tone is different, the story is clearly different from what it's evolved into, it FEELS different. That stride of Bee's birthday and the jellyfish story and everything from Deckard taking Bee to show her his plants and ending up on Donut Planet just GETS to me emotionally and it's so beautifully done, and maybe had Netflix ordered it as a separate season we might have been able to retain a lot of that heart and soul. But also...

Something I noticed about the new episodes, and illuminated it in the Lazy in Space eps, is that they really have played into how Bee feels and expresses emotions. Deckard asking if Bee will miss him if he leaves the island is a direct parallel to the flashback of Crispin moving out of Bee's place, asking if she's even sad. In response to Deckard, Bee sounds almost insincere, like she's laughing at a joke, and to Crispin she reveals her little Bee guts in conflict.

Even though they knew in OG BaPC that she was a robot, I think by the time they were working on Lazy in Space they changed their mind on how Bee operates. Her issue with water and the ocean vs the straight up avoidance of water altogether. The way she expresses emotions and her tones. The sentimental expression of emotional conflict as she found herself enjoying her birthday for once is completely removed. I think if this was still an integral aspect of Bee, they would have found a way to maintain it in the new episodes, because ultimately what DOES remain is all stuff pertinent to various characters - a whole flashback of Cas and Toast's history, how Cardamon found Sticky, getting more insight in Deckard and Cas's relationship. I assume by removing things like Bee's conflicted emotions, we are leaning more into Bee as a robot who doesn't react exactly as a human.

That said, there's obviously a lot about Bee that IS very human - whether it's how she was made or what she picked up from being around others. A change I like a lot is how Bee encouraged Deckard to go to culinary school - how Cas didn't fill out the acceptance for him, it was his choice that he tried to back out of, and that Donut Planet and Bee ultimately encouraged him. We get to see a little more of his internal conflict, in how he WANTS to go but he's scared of leaving and scared of tackling something he's no good at. I think that's a big reason that he does better on Donut Planet than at culinary school: even though he chose to go, there's still a lot of reluctance (and depression) and maybe something to do with a lack of encouragement? At any rate, I love Deckard having the agency of choice, but I also REALLY love Bee encouraging him, because she knows he's scared and selling himself short. It's such a tender, human experience, to encourage those you care about, to do your part to make it easier for them (offering to look after his family for her).

Basically, I look at OG BaPC and the new eps + Lazy in Space as two different entities, because it's clear to me the story being told was changed at some point (Bee and Deckard's entire romance being completely erased, a lot of sentimentality downplayed, Bee's age HEAVILY played into, a link between Bee and Cardamon more heavily teased). I'd love to hear a BTS from Natasha about how they rewrote the story - things that were removed due to time, things that were changed because the story changed, how the story may have evolved over the last ten years - because it would be so fascinating to see how the story has grown. In terms of story, though, Lazy in Space was a departure from OG BaPC, so even if uploading the first season had ever been an option, I get why they didn't go that route. Artstyle aside, casual watchers would probably find that disconnect jarring - the sudden changes in things like Bee's line delivery, the whole lol erased romance plot, all of the fascinating lore the new episodes introduce that better link to Lazy in Space were not present.

There are some details I think were probably always present: I bet Bee's dad was always intended to be affiliated with Puppycat and Violet (it's no coincidence that Bee and Violet live in the same complex, on an island that is a spaceship); Bee was probably always meant to be pretty old; the island was always a spaceship.

Anyway like I said, I understand why there are people upset about the departure from OG BaPC. I think Lazy in Space made a lot of that change, too, so the story had to adjust to those changes, and the slice of life on the surface genre that many had come to love no longer suited the story being told. So to me, they are two different stories with the Netflix version being the one they chose to pursue. Rather than tell people to watch the OG series on YouTube and start from ep 4 on Netflix, though, I think it would be better if people just watched the OG after they complete the Netflix version. OG BaPC sets a whole different tone and doesn't have a lot of the lore that the new episodes offer. OG BaPC as a treat is probably the better way to go about it.

Ultimately, I love them both! I love Bee and I love getting new lore to mull over, new pieces to the puzzle. Bee's dad -- IN the Dad box?! The Dad Box a portal to him..?! -- threw me for LOOP! Acknowledging the candy Bee eats is the same that Puppycat and Violet used to collect? She and Cardamon used to share it?! (Oh my GOD Cardamon doesn't eat does he?! He buys all that junk food FOR VIOLET "It's not for me" because he doesn't NEED to eat?!) There's just so MUCH good, new stuff to think on and I'd hate to throw that all out the window, yknow?

[transmissionsfromthebattlefield]

“Take My Word For It”

Thank god for classes starting up again so that I can pivot my screen time away from people making me lose faith in humanity and towards PDFs of textbooks. The weather is hot and the AC in the library is pumping. Kent State once again brims with life. I tabled at our freshman orientation club fair yesterday—so many little babies, yet over half of the girls seem to be taller than me. (Thanks, genetics.) It really does make my heart swell to be back, though. I am SO pumped.

Aside from classes and Task Force and all my friends and the best burritos in the world, I’m also very excited for the return to basic principles of human interaction. I’ve been people watching a lot online lately. Too much, in fact, and I need to stop. But the emotions and the news are pertinent, and they must be processed. I’ve been seeing a lot of exchanges online lately that are basically negative recommendations. Someone says they don’t care for something for whatever streamlined reason, and someone else agrees with zero visible actual external research on the subject. Asking for recommendations nowadays always has to come with some disclaimer. Disclaimers have become a big part of internet culture in general, and it’s a real shame. Weighing positives and negatives after even just a simple article or two or accepting that a friend likes whatever seems to be a thing of the past, in the digital sphere at least, in favor of following a herd to keep those whom we perceive as our friends or want to be our friends with. Have conspiracy theorists tainted the concept of “doing one’s own research”? Or maybe COVID as a whole wrecked us—we got so used to isolating ourselves from absolutely everyone that it has become second nature to shun anything deemed hypercharged bad buzzword, or alternatively “slime”. It didn’t even take a generation.

You might as well be taking somebody’s world for it, not just their word—one must be in to-tall alignment with the politikal perspektives of their frendos, or else we might have an astrologist’s worst nightmare on a self-worth scale: the planets are out of wack! I’m an idiosyncronous, imperfect ball of flesh on the same planet as many more of the same despite their abject differences from me! Help!

My anxious psyche leads me to distrust humans in general, but I think society has gone too far in its stagnant polarization. We bitch and we fight, to quote crappy post-Roger Waters Pink Floyd (most society as it currently stands is basically “Learning To Fly” on repeat blaring very loud in my ears, I think), and most of the time it’s about how we perceive the influence and morals of actively powerful forces in the world. You can have a great, insightful, constructive conversation about that. But we resort to stereotype and self preservation. And as those gears keep on churning in the background, as they always do and always will, we get nothing done. We forget that we have more in common with one another than we think, while preaching that same concept. But how much do we truly believe the preprogrammed responses we’ve taught ourselves to repeat?

Do we really want a free exchange of ideas, or do we crave that overtone addendum, “but only if they’re the right ones”? Do we even want to be right, or do we always need some abstract, accessible boogeyman to jab at while the powers that be pulling the strings only grow stronger? Do we want to grow stronger ourselves to someday defeat them, or do we succumb to the overwhelming complexity of the world at large and retreat to where we feel safest? Do we seek change, or do we only call for it, not work towards it? We praise the sacrifice of others, but how comfortable would we be with sacrificing ourselves—in any capacity—for the same cause?

Yet when you meet people in person, even these people, they laugh. They actually have senses of humor. They invite, most of the time. And if they repel, they repel. The intention becomes obvious. The experience can be learned from. Another side comes into view, separate from the PR-primed pop star we all fashion ourselves to be, secretly. The blood and guts are there to spill. The humanity is on full display.

And that’s why a damn good conversation beats nameless, faceless, face full of constructed ideological perfection protection any day of the week, regardless of whether or not class is in session.

[mary1andonly]

Hi there! I really enjoyed reading your post about justice for Brienne and Jaime. Admittedly I have not watched a single episode of GoT except 8x03 😅 but I had watched a few clips and had been keeping up with their story over the years. I was heartbroken when I learned how the series ended for them. Your comparisons between Brienne and Jaime in the books vs in the show have made me so disappointed in the injustices served to their characters.

Ever since I read your post I have seriously been considering reading the books, though I have to be honest the sole reason is for Jaime and Brienne, despite knowing that they are definitely not the only characters with important storylines.

And so! My questions to you are, are the books enjoyable to read as a whole? Are there other characters/storylines you personally enjoy? I figure that the series involves a lot of politics, war, and dark themes, all of which I don't read about very often. Is there anything I should watch out for, trigger-wise? For example, you talked about Cersei's abuse towards Jaime and when Tyrion r*ped a girl. Additionally, a big reason as to why I never watched the show is because there's a lot of nudity in it, though Brienne and Jaime's bath scene didn't bother me since it wasn't very explicit. Reading about nudity in books is one thing, seeing it on television is another, you know?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! And thank you for all of your incredible insights on Jaime and Brienne!! ❤️

Hi, dear anon!

I wanna start by thanking you for the kind words, I'm so happy that you liked my post.

My honest advice about the books is that you should definitely read them!Just to make you undestand how good they are, I've never been a huge fan of the fantasy genre, but these books have been my exception. They are soooo good, so rich with plots, and the world of Westeros is incredible to experience.

The books do talk about politics, war, and dark themes, but they also explore themes about human nature, about honor, love, growing up. There are certanly dark moments, but also funny ones, hopeful ones, rederming ones, romantic ones. It's a true journey.

There are some triggering things that I should warn you about, I won't lie. I'm not going to spoil you things, so I'm going to keep it very vague. But there is violence...lots of violence, there’s incest, there are rape scenes (as someone who read the books and also watched the show...the show was so much more triggering about the rape scenes, at least for me).

But you need to also keep in mind that the books are HUGE, so you're not going to read ONLY violent things. They're there, sure, but they're in the middle of so many other less triggering things. There are many wholesome scenes (for example the many times Jaime saved Brienne from danger).

Brienne's chapters do have a very romantic tone. She often thinks about Jaime, she often dreams about him, and that is something that warms my dead cold heart everytime I read those chapters, lol. She's smitter, and Jaime is so in denial about his own feelings it's not even funny, lol.

That's another thing....Jaime is hilarious!!! His chapters (next with Tyrion's ones) are the best of the entire series. His sense of humour is on another planet. The fact the he always claims he's gonna do something and then he ends up doing the opposite....he's the best haha.

Oh anon, I agree so much with you on the nudity thing! GOT was always so...tacky about those things. The majority of the times, in the show, it was very gratuitous and...very pervy.

There's sex and nudity in the books...but it's written to serve a purpose.

I'm going to give you some examples.

We see Daenerys (one of my favorite characters) get intimate with Irri, one of her slaves, in the second book. They get along just fine, Dany is a good person, and she's trying to end slavery around some places in a continent called Essos. But GRRM shows us that Dany is still so young (she's a teen) that sometimes she has no self-awareness to realize that she's treating Irri like a piece of property...even tho she's extremely against slavery. But she's learning. She constantly wants to get better.

There's a scene where we see Ned and Cat have sex. They are a couple, they are so much in love, so we read them going at it, because....they are in love and GRRM wants to make us see that, hahah.

And the bath scene between Jaime and Brienne is very symbolic. It’s meant to be a rebirth of some sort, especially for Jaime.And it’s meant to be a parallel to Jaime and Cersei being born together, since this time around Jaime comes to life again, but with Brienne. It’s the start of his new life!

As for the storylines/characters that I enjoyed in the books, apart from Jaime/Brienne, of course, there are many many many many of them.

I love the Starks. I love them all. I love Ned, Cat, Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, lil' Rickon, Jon Snow. Especially Sansa and Arya.

Daenerys is another one I enjoy.

Theon and Asha are very interesting characters. Theon's storyline is a rollercoaster of emotions.

And I loooove reading about the Lannisters...they are insane, but very entertaining.

Other characters I love are Gendry (Arya's love interest), Pod, the Tyrells, especially Olenna, Margaery, Garlan and Loras.

And, of course, Jaime and Brienne are simply amazing on every level in the books.

The prequel books that GRRM wrote about Westeros are also worth checking out. Both Fire and Blood, and the Dunk and Egg's book (Dunk being Brienne's ancestor and falling in love with Jaime's great-grandmother, Rohanne).

The new HBO adaptation about "Fire and Blood", House of the Dragon, is actually reeeeeally good. The story is going to be amazing, full of twists and turns (this story is already finished!) and the adaptation has none of GOT's flaws (changes made for no reason, tacky and unnecessary sex scenes and nudity, dumb dialogue that seemed written by a 5 years old), because HOTD has new show writers that are following the book canon very closely...and that are simply better writers than D&D.

So I'll definetly suggets you check that one as well, especially if you fall in love with Westeros.

Thank you so much for the kind words again! ❤️

[vitos-ordination-song]

I’ve thought a lot about the state of humanity and like, 1) is there a point to doing that, 2) idk if I have any unique insights. But. I really do think that human intelligence is ironically our greatest downfall.

Some academic wrote a book arguing that our intelligence makes us crazy, like we come up with ideologies that justify murder or we get depressed and spend our whole lives miserable. That can be true enough but I don’t think it has to be the case. What I’m talking about is less like, individual. I mean we’re too smart as a species.

Our intelligence is what makes us adaptable and able to survive. It’s why we’ve proliferated across the planet. Obviously there’s always a limit to population expansion. Along than that, I feel as though the second that we got comfortable, that’s when our intelligence started biting us in the ass. Because it had nowhere to go and all the means of coming up with ideologies or weird individual hang ups, etc etc.

Our “evolutionary success” as a species is why we have the time and ability to do stuff as stupid as kill each other off in droves. A couple years back I read Post-Scarcity Anarchism, and it is like. Yeah. Technically we’ve made it. We’ve created a world of comfort for ourselves and don’t have to do the grueling labor Adam cursed us with. But God had other plans. All our little schemes have ended up turning back on us, again threatening our survival. And we can’t even begin to address that because we’re squandering all of the fruits of our ancestors’ labor. A post-scarcity world could mean everyone just peacefully harmonizing, but with too much time on our hands, it looks like the human species just finds a new enemy to fight.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

hey ☺️ can I have a reading of soulmate I love to know what they are like and if you pick up any details about them.❤️ 🤖 Thanks 🙏

It’s crazy to me that out of everything we could ask the universe, most people are most concerned with their soulmate, not their own career or their goals or soul purpose. Very interesting. I feel like that speaks to the seeming lack of love on the planet.

All that said. I’ll see what I can pick up. Not sure if you are the same anon who asked if the person you think is your soulmate is, but if so, that message still stands. And it’s part of why it’s taken me a long time to get to this reading.

I’m hearing standard office sounds, sounds on the computer typing, deep sighs, dreary, boredom, nice office, high up in a sky scraper, working in a shared office environment, I feel like this person works in stocks or finance, a lot of stress with the economy, this feels like London, they work in international finance and I don’t think they are British, maybe Australian (I heard that accent), I’m not sure if they are happy but I think they are good at what they do, people seek them out, they have good insight, they are decisive. Nice watch, crisp clothes, they do well but it’s blasé (that song by Ty dolla sign is coming up) access to materialism but doesn’t feed anything, they have the nice house and job and everything they asked for but it’s not fulfilling. Deep down they always wanted to do something else, athletic or outdoorsy, I’m seeing surfing and sailing which would make sense if they’re from Australia. I think they want a different lifestyle but the one they are in provides for them and other people they love so they feel it’s a sacrifice they must make, the well being of others or their own happiness, they chose others. They feel drained, I think they miss the warmth and sun, seasonal affective disorder.

Anything to say soul mate?

Not really. (Melancholy) Everything’s just as it should be going. I’m on track for a promotion, maybe even can open my own firm or be a partner at a firm one day (They are standing looking out a window over the bustling city, arms crossed) Everything I’ve asked for, I got (sounds hollow, what’s missing?) Nothing is missing, it’s just when I asked for this, I didn’t think it would feel like this, everyone with money looks happy, they’re partying and yachts and I’ve done some of that but I just, idk feel disillusioned I guess (you can still change your mind) I know. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. The pandemic was crazy financially but it’s all going to shit. I’m doing fine enough, I could finally go sail the world and just disappear for awhile but I worry, I worry that I’ll regret it one day. Stuck in the in between, if I jump I could die but I can’t just stand here anymore. I need to take a leap of faith. If you aren’t shitting, get off the pot.

Goddess Guidance Oracle

Abundantia—prosperity “the universe is pouring its abundance out to you. Be open to receiving.”

This dissatisfaction is a gift from the universe because it is allowing for a new direction, the more we hold onto to the old and outdated ways of doing things, the more we block our only ability to evolve and find abundance (tingling wings, I told y’all 2023 is abundance based).

Yemanya— Golden Opportunity “Important doors are opening for you right now. Walk through them.”

You can help your soulmate by saying yes to opportunities that present themselves and by following the quiet hunches of your heart. It’s a wild goose chase, keep chasing.

Focus on your goals and passions, not your soul mate. If you want to see breakthroughs, you have to break through. Stop doing the same things and expecting change.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E123 (Feb. 2, 2021)

After last week’s thoroughly relaxing and brief episode, tonight’s guests are Sam Riegel and Liam O’Brien!

Brian, to Sam: “You look like Tim Curry moved to Nantucket to become a sommelier.”

How did Caleb and Veth approach the ally-ship with the Tombtakers? Sam: “I mean, we got some information, and I think we got a little closer to Lucien and knowing whether he has any of Mollymauk inside of him, which is I think the most important knowledge that we’re seeking right now. Is there someone to be saved inside there? We got glimpses, and we got a little hint that Mollymauk is maybe still in there? Maybe? And we got a little more insight into their plans, so that was useful.” Liam: “We know why we were having that fucking dream.” Sam: “But other than that, it was just a road trip with assholes.” Liam: “All our plans have been ripped in a new direction, and it’s just been improvisation.” Sam notes that it feels like we’re always about to rip into Caleb’s backstory, but haven’t yet followed that thread all the way through. Liam: “It’s partially frustrating, to be sure, but also I like the idea that-- his whole shit has been selfish, it’s been dealing with the trauma that he’s been through and not the greater world, and that’s been shifting somewhat.”

Does Caleb think the book was worth it, and is he still interested in reading more? Sam: “How do you ask Caleb not to read a book?” Liam: “Caleb has spent enough time with the Nein to know you shouldn’t put a hand on a hot stove. After what happened with the book, he knows it’s a terrible idea. But maybe. But it’s a really bad idea. But reserve judgment, but it’s a really terrible idea. I think that Caleb is very aware that mages and people like him very easily fall prey to their curiosity and it can lead to bad places. But there is still that amount of scientific endeavor where you think there is value in knowing and learning, and maybe we can ride that line. He was True Neutral at the start of the campaign, and maybe he’s Chaotic Good now, but part of him is hubris, even if it’s a little bit, still.”

What about Otis has drawn Veth’s focus? Sam: “I mean, he’s a little shit. She was curious about Otis because he’s a small like she is, and in talking to him, he seemed to be real creepy, but he was just creepy and distant and didn’t value his past or family or anything like that. She sees someone who’s like her, but so not like her, and maybe that scares her a little bit more.”

How does Caleb feel about Beau being on this ride with him? Liam: “The dream is another example of how Caleb had very narrow vision of the things he wanted to do. It used to seem so massive to him, but now... To have Beauregard involved feels right. If anyone in the group is going to stop him from grabbing something he shouldn’t, it is probably Beauregard. She’ll punch him in the fucking face to stop him, which I think he needs, to a certain extent. They’re two different kinds of nerds, and I kind of like that, that this group of nine philosophers, they’ve reached out and somehow grabbed the two nerds in the party.”

How do Caleb and Veth see the Somnovum? Sam: “I mean, they seem real bad. Anything that’s a quorum of powerful entities heading towards your planet to unleash an energy of any kind, typically bad? I assume they’re bad, or at least the Tombtakers wish them to do ill.” Liam: “I think they want the kind of peace that comes from snapping your fingers and turning people to dust. Caleb sees them as a cautionary tale; they’re the worst-case scenario for arcane inquisitiveness.” He sees Allura Vysoren as the antidote to that.

Why the staunch refusal to use Halfling Luck? Sam: “I don’t like Luck! I just don’t like Luck. I think it’s cheap, I think it’s a cheat, I think it’s stupid. It just feels like a do-over.” Liam: “I am your antithesis! If I ever voice a halfling, I am going to hammer that feature!” Sam: “What I love about D&D is that you don’t know what’s going to happen. If you roll bad, okay, that’s it. If you roll well, it makes the success more enjoyable to know that it’s a pure success and don’t one where you’re like well actually... it’s so stupid. If someone was about to die, I would probably use the fuckin’ Luck feature. Well. It depends who. If it was Travis, yeah, no, he’s fucked, sorry.”

Liam drops that he’s picked Sam’s character class and race again for a hypothetical campaign three. Sam: “It’s not what I was thinking for future characters, but I’m excited to explore.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Mollymauk by KatofValkyrie!

What was it like to bring the Tombtakers into the tower? Liam: “It is complicated, because he does not like him. Lucien’s just a fucking dick. But Caleb also knows that Molly’s in there somewhere. That tower’s only for the M9, and Lucien’s not in the M9. Their situation with these people is shitty, it’s terrible. Caleb doesn’t feel like they have the upper hand. He doesn’t like that they’re even going on this journey per se, because life is bigger than his bullshit. He feels like they’ve been losing over and over again, so it was a gamble to try to get on equal footing.

What spurred Veth into making sure she and Yasha have some one-on-one time? Sam: “Yasha hasn’t been getting a lot of moments to shine. Now that she’s back, I just got the impression that Yasha feels out of place sometimes, or timid, or unsure of herself. When Veth was Nott, Nott certainly had her share of those moments. I think she sees a kindred spirit and wants to make sure that she’s been giving all the opportunity she can to flourish and thrive. Dani, you’re just laughing at my mustache, aren’t you?” Dani: “Yes, that’s the only thing I’m laughing at through this whole bullshit.” Sam denies all knowledge of trolling, but eventually admits, on the topic of Yasha and Beau getting together: “They’ve made me wait this long... I’m going to make them wait a little bit longer!”

What was it like to show his friends the upper floors? Liam: “I kinda expected somebody to sneak up there before that. That being part of the tower is not even a conscious choice of his, it just is. The reason Caduceus has creeped Caleb out for a long time is because he talks about how-- Caduceus is a really kind person and wants Caleb to let go of the past. And in a really simplistic way, turn that frown upside-down. And that’s just not who Caleb is, and it’s not who everybody is. There is something to be said for trying to stay open and positivity, but thinking you can shut out the past, especially a traumatic one, is just not true. When things happen to us, we carry them. But to candy-coat it and say, ah, I’m free, or everything is good, or I’ve turned the corner... life is way messier than that. It’s not flipping a switch, it’s not bad-to-good, it is such a work in progress. Even when you make strides and start to get to a better place, you can backslide a lot. So the tower is who he is, and the tower is 7/9ths love for his friends, and 1/9th hope, but there’s still a percentage of him that carries everything from the past, and knows that he should, and knows that he should not go back to where he was. And the way to do that is not to say everything is rainbows, but to remember it. The tower is just like an extension of who he is. He’s never going to forget the past, and he’s never going to be like, I’m good, or I’ve turned a corner. He should remember the past, and he should do better, always.”

Does Veth still believe it’s possible to get Molly back? Sam: “Well, she was a person trapped in another body for many years, so has some experience there, and definitely believes that the spirit and soul of Molly is in there and just needs to be unlocked somehow.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot by HarpySN!

How are Caleb and Veth dealing with their guilt and fear about being in the middle of this? Sam: “It definitely was a deep conversation that might have repercussions going forward. The problem with all of what we’re doing now is that we don’t have time to deal with our petty problems anymore. It’s all high tension all the time!” Liam: “It’s true; they’re not in control of their situation at all anymore.” Sam: “It’s good to have these check-ins, but it’s not like we can do anything about them. We’re reactive right now.” Liam: “He’s not happy with where they are, but they wouldn’t even be this far if the goblin hadn’t pulled him out of the mud. So part of it is, you saved me from where I was and got me on my feet again, and now it’s disconcerting to see it all just get knocked sideways by something he never could’ve predicted. I think Caleb felt nostalgic for when things were simpler, in a way, for them, when we’re both troubled drifters.”

What was it like to see Gelidon’s return? Liam: “I am the least superstitious person at the table. Ashley’s dice suck.” Sam: “It was fun fighting a dragon!” Liam: “Two massive battles in one episode, neither of which came away with a victory. I guess surviving is a victory.” Sam: “I’d forgotten about the dragon, honestly.” Liam: “I loved it. I was so upset at the idea that we were going to stealth and not get into it.”Sam: “Mercer doesn’t keep a live dragon around and not do something with it. That dragon’s coming back.”

How do Caleb and Veth feel about going to see Essek? Sam: “He can be very helpful, I believe, but as Sam Riegel, a player of D&D, I’m super suspicious. What the fuck is Essek doing up there, so close, now? I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. And I can throw him pretty far because he floats.” Liam: “I 100% agree with you. I do not understand what Essek could bring to what we are going through. I know the audience loves him, I love him too. He’s a really cool character. But he’s fucking toxic. He out of curiosity caused a war between two nations. And Caleb has been changed for the good by the M9 from months of travel with them. Essek has had none of that. Caleb has changed for the good, but not because of people like Essek. Essek is where Caleb came from. We kept the lid on the pot during the whole treaty at sea and it almost all went fucking sideways, and only because we pressed him into a corner. I hope that guy finds some sort of balance and peace for himself, but I do not see how his input here would be helpful. There’s other heavy hitters that I would try to pull in.”

Liam notes that the Cloven Crystal is in the Bag of Holding. Sam: “Do I have Fluffernutter, or is Fluffernutter gone?” Liam: “Nope. 300 pounds of fireworks? Gone. A dead mage, a threshold crest, and fireworks.” Dani: “Your basic essentials.”

[corrupt-fvcker]

Dating Loki Headcanons…

Dating HCs ( Loki Laufeyson x GN!reader )

Warnings: SFW, gender neutral reader, mentions of loki being gender fluid, fluff, kissing, drinking, marijuana, domesticity, unedited, me lowkey roasting Loki

Word Count: 2.1K

Author’s Note: NO LOKI SPOILERS!! so i just finished the finale and… wow. feel free to send me a message about what you thought about it and/or some requests for loki :) i can also do requests for elaborating on these bullet points. also please correct me if i used improper terminology while writing about loki exploring himself as being gender fluid, i wrote it with my experience in mind though i understand that everyone is different.

Being Loki’s partner is not always easy.

Now, don’t get me wrong, loving Loki is nothing short of a magical experience. When you’re together is when you’re both happiest, it feels as if the stars align and a pleasant sense of peace settles over your conscious like morning fog.

Though, admittedly, loving him can be a bit dangerous. It’s electric. He fills you with energy and passion and power, yet if you’re not careful, you’ll get shocked.

Luckily, Loki is well-aware that he has some work to do when it comes to navigating his thoughts and feelings. While he may be proud and reluctant to admit his issues, he does force himself to do some inner-work for your sake.

He’s incredibly thoughtful when he wants to be. In the beginning of your relationship, it was easy for him to focus on himself. He’s a survivor and a schemer, he weighs his options and picks whichever benefits him the most.

However, as your relationship progresses, he learns to be more selfless. He eventually realizes that he’s happiest when you’re happiest. And over time, he switches his mentality from “how can I benefit from this?” to “how can we benefit from this?” You’re a team, in his mind. One cannot fail without everyone failing, and one cannot succeed without everyone succeeding.

He found that caring for others, specifically you, gets easier the more he does it. The more natural it becomes. He observes. He learns. And he forms habits.

After a particularly cold date involving an unanticipated rainstorm and only one available jacket, he always carries a spare sweater or coat with him, whether it be his or one of yours that he stole borrowed from your closet. And yes, he was a little too proud of himself the first time you needed the emergency sweater (definitely referred to himself as “insightful” and “genius” the rest of the day).

The ocean will dry up before there is a shortage of blankets at your house. He knows that he runs more than slightly cold, and he will not have you suffer from the fact. Heavy blankets for winter, fluffy blankets for autumn, light blankets for summer, knitted blankets for spring— this man could probably open up a blanket shop if he wanted to (he doesn’t, you made that joke already).

He has the smallest tendency to doubt himself. And by that I mean he is filled with self-doubt and insecurity about half the time. Not necessarily with day-to-day things. He knows that he can do chores, drive a car (barely but you’d never tell him that, you’d rather just insist on driving), charm just about anything that breathes, and summon anything he desires in a blink of an eye. But the small yet important things are what get the best of him. He worries you’ll find him to be too much work for what he’s worth. He stays up late at night, sure that one day he’ll step too far over the line. He’s nearly certain that you’ll eventually see through all his bells and whistles, and realize that he’s really not as magnificent as you had originally thought him to be.

Though, much to his fortune, you see through his bullshit. You know that he’s secretly insecure about your relationship and a lot of his qualities. And he’s forever grateful that you’re willing to look past his flaws and still love him. Or, in the very least, tolerate him.

Adjusting to life on Earth does spark a bit of an identity crisis within him. His life of luxury and royal privilege is gone. Though on the bright side, so is his life of torture and misery.

But nevertheless, he does find himself struggling to identify with the parts of himself that he was once so sure of.

He cuts his hair short and then grows it out. Changes his fashion tastes, changes the way he parts his hair, changes the literature he reads.

The changes don’t bother you, in fact you’re glad he’s finding healthy ways to adjust to this major lifestyle change.

At one point, Loki even changed his physical form. For a few weeks, he allowed himself to grow comfortable in his skin as a frost giant. While he didn’t feel entirely himself in this form, he was glad that after a few weeks the anxiety around it faded.

After trying out his form as a frost giant, Loki morphed into female form. While Loki was initially worried to see how you’d react to this change, she was pleased to find that you were happy as long as she was happy. For a few months, Loki remained in female form but ultimately reverted back to male form. Though on occasion he finds himself switching between the two.

He tends to be clingy. He likes to be touching you or have you touching him, though he enjoys when you’re both touching each other at the same time best. He likes it when you lay on top of him with your head on his chest, he likes to feel your heart beating against him. If you play with his hair, he’ll melt. He prefers keeping it long so you’ll braid it— he acts like he doesn’t enjoy you braiding his hair, but you know he does.

Kiss him on the tip of his nose. I dare you. He will turn dark pink before you even pull away.

He will never turn down the opportunity to hold you in his arms. He will kiss the top of your head if he can reach, and if he can’t, he’ll grow a few inches so that he can.

He enjoys cooking for you. There’s just something so simple yet domestic about cooking you something yummy. He’ll attempt to make all your favorite dishes and follow all of your dietary needs. No meat? No problem. No gluten? He’s got you covered. No dairy? He wouldn’t even think about adding some milk or throwing in some cheese as a harmless prank.

Which brings me to an important note: do not prank this man. He will take it personally. And he will not stop until he gets even with you and then some. Petty pranks don’t work on him either. Baby powder in the hair dryer is obvious and he’ll just point the dryer in your direction.

If he’s sick, good luck. You thought a god like him would be above a common cold. You were wrong. He gets super clingy, super whiny, super needy, and kinda turns into a dick. He needs to be spoiled. You need to treat him like he’s dying and these are his last days. If you try to pull “I can’t kiss you, I’ll get sick”— good luck with trying to get him to stop pouting. Don’t say I didn’t warn you (definitely push multivitamins on him for your sake).

He takes the longest in the bathroom when he’s getting ready. Which is ridiculous because he can simply poof! himself into an image of perfection. You’re starting to think he enjoys how irritated you get when he makes you late.

Also, warning! He’s an attention whore, to simply put it. He likes the spotlight, especially when it’s your spotlight. Shower him with affection please, it’s the only way he’ll ever shut his mouth. He’s not scared of causing a scene if it means he gets to spend some more quality time with you. It’s cute but you hate it.

I don’t make the rules, but Loki definitely shaves his legs in the shower because he likes how smooth they are. If you don’t like it, stay mad about it.

While Loki is fancy as fuck, he does love the outdoors. Earth is a beautiful planet, even if he is reluctant to admit it. He loves nature, specifically green forests, sandy beaches, and wild animals.

Side note: never take this man to the zoo. You thought he’d enjoy it because of his love of animals. He ended up freeing about half the animals in the zoo and breaking into about a dozen of the enclosures.

He does not understand the internet at all. Memes? Yeah, not his cup of tea. Though there has been a handful of times you’ve found him smirking over some internet articles, only to find that he enjoys reading insane “Florida man” stories. And he’s also not above arguing with people on Facebook and Twitter. Be careful though because he will throw his iPad across the room and throw a temper tantrum over some “abstract imbeciles.”

He loves dancing. He loves dancing with you even more. He’s got some pretty good ballroom dancing moves but he’s a little clueless when it comes to hip-hop.

Very protective over you. Almost to a dangerous extent. Definitely the type that’s ready to throw down with the first person that looks at you funny. If you get catcalled, hold this motherfucker back because he’s already got a knife in his hand.

Surprisingly, he likes kids. He’s not particularly sure if he wants to have children himself, but it’s definitely a conversation he’s interested in having with you in the future. If you’re against having children, he’s unbothered. If you’re interested in adding members to your family of two in the future, he’s ready whenever you are.

He’s not a huge fan of pets. Though if you already have a pet when you meet or get a pet as a surprise while you’re together, he’s not too bothered by their existence. Definitely gets jealous of the attention your pet receives though. He fits the role of “I did not want this animal but, for some reason, it loves me the most which means I will kill anyone that dares to hurt it.” You tease him when you catch him playing with the pet he didn’t want.

Also, Loki’s a lightweight. Which you find hilarious, because it is funny even if he pouts every time you tease him. He gets incredibly rowdy when he drinks, expect singing, dancing, and broken glasses. He also gets very touchy so don’t be afraid to bop him on the nose if he’s doing too much.

It takes a few years of Loki exploring Earth’s culture before he grows comfortable with the idea of smoking marijuana. But once you explain to him that it’s perfectly safe and that you’ll be by his side the whole time, he’s open to trying it. When Loki is high, expect lots of flirting, lots of touching, and lots of giggling. Don’t even bother playing a stupid comedy movies because he won’t watch it. He wants to spend this high cuddling you and discussing bizarre subjects. Pray this man doesn’t get the munchies because he’ll clear out your whole kitchen. Keep water on hand because he will definitely complain incessantly if he experiences cotton mouth. But if he’s lucky enough to not have an abnormally dry mouth, he would definitely encourage a lazy make out session.

He will definitely come up with a number of super creative terms of endearment for you, but some of his more generic favorites are sweetheart, darling, dear, and love.

Please please please make fun of his Asgardian accent. Mock him, dress up as him and run around the house pretending to be him. Please!!

He also has a thing for you wearing his clothes. I won’t go in depth (unless you want me to) but it does things to him.

You bought him a multi-color beanie with a pom pom sewn to the top of it. You were able to trick him into wearing it once (you told him it was peak Midgard fashion) but Stark ruined it. If you wear this beanie it will still do things to him.

Please let this man style your hair, or at the very least let him wash it when you shower together. But if you let him style it, he’ll get all giddy. You’ve caught him practicing his braiding technique multiple times.

He will want to spoil you. He doesn’t really understand money, and he definitely doesn’t understand what a budget is. But if he sees something that makes him think of you, he’ll buy it. Maybe even buy several of the same item. Please let him shower you with gifts, it’s one of his love languages.

His other love languages? I’m gonna have to go with all. Definitely a sucker for physical affection, but also won’t turn down a genuine act of service or quality time. Also compliment him. Like, a lot.

( masterlist ) ( reblog to show support 💞 )

[isthisthingeven0n]

number eleven : s.r

a serial killer is at large in atlana, carving numbers into his victims and throwing their bodies from rooftops. yet, things seem to hit a little too close to home for your liking, and sadly you get caught up in it all (4.2k)

( this is an original idea of mine, I’ve gone based off what I know in the show but the killer is made up! pls do not steal my concept without at least asking, and i hope you enjoy :) )

“It’ll be okay, Spence,” You fight against the unsubs hold as his arm remains pressed against your neck. “just, don’t give up.”

“Please, let her go!” You can hear the crack in his voice as his gun shakes in his grip, his eyes not leaving yours as tears pool. “You don’t have to do this, there’s another choice for you.”

The unsub scoffs as you wince at he breathes into your ear. “This ends with you.”

*

Two Days Earlier

“Hey, Spencer,” You smile as you walk through the doors to the bullpen, two cups of coffee in hand as you place onto his desk. “how was the Doctor Who convention?”

Out of everyone in the team, you were the only one to pay attention to the small details Spencer shares. You always have done, ever since you first joined the BAU, you noticed the subtle eye rolls as he rambled on with facts and statistics so you made sure to always pay attention.

Lifting his head up, Spencer can feel a smile tugging his lips as you take a seat at your desk adjacent to his. “You would’ve loved it. They had the original designs from the Cybermen’s first appearance in 1966, ‘The Tenth Planet’ and for the time, it was high tech stuff.” He explains whilst you listen contently, oblivious to the others watching you both.

“God, they’re so into each other it hurts.” Emily sighs as Penelope nods along.

JJ walks over to the girls, catching sight of what they’re fixated on. “Why can’t they just say something? I mean, it’s been three years.” Penelope questions, but JJ simply chuckles.

“This is Spencer and Y/n we’re talking about.” JJ comments. “For one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, Spencer can be stupid sometimes.” She states, returning her focus to how you look at Spencer as he talks, but also how willing Spencer is to be close to you and laughs at your input in between his rambles.

“I bet twenty dollars he’ll say something by the end of the year.” Rossi chimes in, but Emily scoffs. 

“Dream on, Rossi.” She comments, but Rossi shrugs his shoulders. 

Hotch exits his office, catching a glance from the girls who quickly stand up straight. “We’ve got a new case,” He announces, passing between you and Spencer on the way.

As you all enter the board room, you sit beside Spencer as you look at the tablet in front of you whilst he sticks to the original file.

“Within the past few months in Atlanta, Georgia, at least nine women have been found dead having fallen from rooftops, all in their twenties, latest victim was Caroline Kutes, twenty-three. Last seen having gone for a run after her shift at a local diner.” Penelope explains as you scroll through the images, seeing what was left of them from the crime scene.

“It’s not some suicide pack, is it?” Morgan speaks up, but Penelope shakes her head.

“I’m glad you asked, sugar.” She turns her back as she pulls up more images, displaying the victims left forearms. 

“Numbers?” You question, zooming in onto the number three having been carved into the victim's flesh. “Someone’s keeping track.”

“So we know there are nine confirmed victims of this unsub then, it’s not a suicide pack.” Hotch states. “The police have requested our insight on the case, wheels up in thirty.”

Closing the tablet you push your chair back. “You alright?” Spencer asks you as everyone begins to file out.

You force a small smile, nodding. “Yeah, just some cases are never easy.” You mutter before heading out and grabbing your things.

*

Arriving straight to the latest crime scene, Hotch splits the team up. “Prentiss, I want you and Morgan to go to the rooftop, see if there’s anything left by the unsub or Caroline Kutes. Reid, Y/L/N, go to the morgue to take a look at the carvings and if there’s any other sign of torture.”

With that, you climb into a car with Spencer, looking at the drop from the building to where Hotch stands. “One hell of a fall.” You whistle as the driver pulls away, Spencer not missing your comment or how you’ve been wiping your hands over your pants since you arrived.

Standing in the morgue, Spencer took the lead as you stood back whilst bodies were examined. “There isn’t any sign of sexual assault on any of the women, but there are bruises across the neck and the carvings on the arm.” The diener explains. “From the fall she suffered several broken bones, a collapsed lung and a crack to her skull along with internal bleeding.”

“Are you saying she was alive when she hit the ground?” You speak up, stepping closer to see how they’ve managed to clean up the victims face, what remains from the large gash in her head.

“Yes, but only for a minute. She chocked to death on her own blood.” The diener states and you can’t help but feel a shiver through your spine.

“It’s most likely the unsub approached these women, if Caroline was out for a run, he might’ve asked her for directions or grabbed her. If she was grabbed, it would explain the bruising on the neck in an attempt to cut the circulation off to the brain, rendering her unconscious.” Spencer suggests, looking over to you as you remain too quiet for his liking. “You in there?”

Snapping out from your thoughts, you nod. “So the unsub approaches these women, tries to strangle them and then takes them to a rooftop. He isn’t sexually assaulting these women, but why throw them off a roof?”

“If he’s trying to pose it as suicide, it’s unusual for women to throw herself off a roof, it’s too dramatic. If a woman were to commit suicide, she’d overdose or drown herself. A subtle way to go.” Spencer explains as you nod along. “It’s almost as if he’s apologetic. He wants them to suffer, but can’t inflict the pain besides carving a number into their forearm.” Spencer looks over the number on Caroline’s arm. “You can see in some area’s he didn’t go deep enough with the knife, he’s dug in multiple times to carve out enough skin to make it bleed.”

“Maybe he’s a narcissist? Keeping track of his victims, making sure no one else can take the limelight for these girls.” You state. “I mean, he knows he isn’t going to get caught by the girls. Based on Caroline, she could barely move let alone tell anyone who did this.”

“I’ve seen countless bodies from suicide by jumping from buildings. It’s a rarity if you survived such a fall like this.” The diener tells you. “Clearly they knew what they were doing.” 

“Contrary to popular belief, when the body falls from a height their head does not splatter onto the ground. Their bones will break and splay out, but if you were to fall from say a 48 feet building you’re most likely to live with a 50% chance of surviving.” Spencer explains, and you nod along. 

“But our unsub picks tall buildings. Office blocks, malls, parking lots.” You tell Spencer who hums. “He knows they’re not going to survive the fall.” 

“Yes, but statistically,” Spencer begins, but your phone begins to ring cutting him off. 

“Sorry, Spence.” You tell him with an apologetic smile before moving out from the morgue, taking the phone call. “Yeah?” 

“Ah, my sweet angel. Have you found Cupid’s arrow yet?” Penelope chuckles, causing you to roll your eyes. “How’s the case going? No one’s called to update me on the gruesome details.” 

You sigh quietly. “Honestly, Pen, you’re lucky.” You tell her. “And what’d you mean by Cupid’s arrow?” 

Penelope groans loudly through the phone, and you can hear her head hitting the keyboard before she apologises to it. “Y/n, how are you so pretty yet oblivious to the attraction of one Spencer Reid?” 

“I, what?” You stumble over your words as you look over your shoulder to see Spencer staring back at you with a small smile on his lips as he waves to you. “I, he, Spencer? No,” You scoff, trying to think about anything else to reduce the spike in your heart rate. 

“I’m no profiler, but I know things,” Penelope states. 

“You’ve got it all wrong, Pen. Sorry to disappoint you, but there is no way he could ever like-” 

“Y/n?” Spencer calls out, now standing in the doorway in front of you. “Hotch wants us to meet him, has a potential lead.” 

“Sorry P, I gotta go.” You tell Penelope before she has the chance to say anything else and hang up the phone. 

Walking alongside Spencer, you can’t help but notice how close he is to you. For someone who is a bit of a germaphobe, he’ll always sit with you before anyone else. During a flight last month with bad turbulence, he held your hand in his as you began to fall asleep, resting your head on his shoulder. You woke up concerned he’d mind, but Spencer just smiled and offered his shoulder any time. 

“So, what’s the lead?” You ask as you walk into the police precinct, finding the rest of your team in a small room as boards with pictures have already been set up. 

“I’ve checked with Garcia about the possibility that whoever is doing this must have some form of access to each of these buildings. There has to be something tying them together,” Prentiss begins. 

“Like a cleaning company, or security?” JJ suggests. 

Emily nods before grabbing a file and reading directly from it. “SecureO is a security company based all over Atlanta. They have hundreds of security guards working at various office blocks, department stores, parking lots. You name it, they’ve got people there.” 

“And our unsub works for them?” You question, looking at the file to see the hundreds of names. “How are we supposed to find him?” 

Hotch reaches out to call Garcia. “And here I thought you forgot about me.” Penelope states through the line, and Morgan smiles to himself. 

“Garcia, can you take a look at the employee records for SecureO and crosscheck to see if any of them have criminal records.” Hotch asks as you listen intently to Penelope typing away. 

“Okay, fifty-seven members of staff have criminal records.” Penelope states.

“How about any with troubled pasts? Maybe this guy is using these women as a form of release. He’s not sexually assaulting them, so it’s less likely to be about an ex, maybe it’s more personal.” You suggest, and Spencer scans through the file once again before looking back at the victims on the board.

“You, my pretty might be onto something,” Garcia chirps. “right, there are twelve members of staff who grew up in the foster system. I’m sending their details over to you right as we speak.”

“Wait, Penelope,” Spencer calls out and Hotch raises his head. “how many of those twelve lost family? Basing on their age and strength, he must be at least in his late twenties or early thirties. Try looking up any accidents in the state in the late eighties to early nineties.”

“Thinking he might have never left the state?” Morgan questions, his arms crossed over his chest.

Clearing his throat, Spencer stands taller beside you as you glance up at him with a reassuring smile. “Looking at all these women, they’re all young and pretty. Anyone who grew up in the system is less likely to leave the place they’re comfortable in. If our unsub grew up in Georgia, he would’ve stayed here and have gotten a job at eighteen. SecureO has been around for twelve years, and five of these employees have been around since it began.”

“Okay, I’ll send across anything once I’ve found it.” Penelope speaks up and hangs up the phone.

“Good work, Reid. Let’s go deliver the profile.” Hotch nods as he leads the way out of the room, Rossi patting Spencer’s shoulder as he departs.

“Not too shabby, Doctor.” You nudge Spencer playfully and he softly chuckles as you walk out.

“Couldn’t have done it without you, Y/n.” He mutters under his breath as you walk out of earshot.

*

Entering the station the next morning, you looked around as solemn expressions greeted you.

“What’s happened?” You ask, taking a seat beside Spencer who notions to JJ.

“Another victim was found in the early hours of this morning. Amelie Hartnell, twenty, was discovered on top of a dumpster in a back alley below a seven-story abandoned office building.” JJ passes over the file to you as you flick through the images whilst you hold your breath.

“She was only twenty,” You mutter to yourself, unaware of Spencer eyeing you carefully. “there’s something about the carving on her, it isn’t as deep. You can see it’s a lot shallower than the others.” You explain.

“He was in a rush this time.” Morgan states. “But if it was an abandoned building, who was going to see him?”

“I’m not sure,” Hotch mutters. “call Garcia, see if she’s found anything yet about those five employees.” 

“On it. Baby girl,” Morgan comments before exiting the room. 

“You seem tired, Y/n.” Rossi speaks up, and you lift your head up to see the concern in his eyes. “Is something bothering you?” 

Shaking your head, you dismiss the matter as the team look over at you. “I’m fine, just thinking about a few things. Didn’t get much sleep last night.” You tell him, but Spencer can tell there’s something else underlying you’re not saying. “Excuse me, I just need some air.” You mutter before exiting the precinct. 

Watching you walk away, Spencer sighs. “Well, go follow her,” Rossi motions to Spencer who quickly gets up and exits the room. “these kids, I swear.” He mutters to himself once Spencer is out of sight.

As you walk out, you take a deep breath, clearing your thoughts. “Y/n,” Spencer calls out and you turn around, forcing a smile. “something’s clearly bothering you.” He states as you move away to sit on a bench whilst Spencer hovers beside you. 

“When I was growing up, I had a friend, Sylvia,” You start, and Spencer watches as you brush your hands over your pants once more. “she moved to Savannah and we just grew apart, but I’ll never forget her brother, Killian.” 

Spencer sits down beside you, your leg touching his as he reaches out and takes your hand. “Y/n, what was it about Killian?” He questions quietly. 

“He was always there, just watching us.” You mumble, remembering those bright blue eyes always in the background, never leaving you or Sylvia. “But, their parents, they died in a car crash when Sylvia was thirteen, Killian was fourteen.” You begin to explain as you exhale a shaky breath. 

Squeezing Spencer’s hand, he shushes you. “It’s okay, just, take it one memory at a time.” He reassures you as your eyes remain tightly shut. 

“From what I know, Sylvia couldn’t take it, losing her parents,” You swallow the lump in your throat as you open your eyes, focusing on Spencer’s. “she killed herself, by jumping off of the roof of a mall.” 

“Just like the first victim.” Spencer mutters as he quickly stands up. “We gotta tell Hotch.” 

*

“Why didn’t you mention this sooner, Y/n?” Hotch stressed as he frowns at you, but Spencer remains by your side as you keep your focus on the team, eyeing the photos behind Emily. 

“I suppressed a lot of memories from when I was growing up, I forgot all about Killian and Sylvia, but seeing these photos it just made me think back to it all.” You explain, looking around at all of your team. “I’m sorry for holding back.” You apologise, and JJ smiles as she walks over, hugging you lightly. 

“Garcia, can you look up Killian and Sylvia Atwork?” You speak up into the phone and Penelope begins to type rapidly before pausing.

“Oh my god,” She mutters. “Killian has been working at SecureO for ten years. He was employed when he turned eighteen and is in charge of the security footage for various locations.” 

Hotch rises to his feet. “We have to inform the police department and the news outlets, JJ, can you sort a press conference?”

“I’m on it.” JJ states as she begins to call her contacts, taking the call in another room.

“Y/n, we might’ve just had a break in the case because of you, thank you.” Hotch comments and Rossi gives you a subtle thumbs up. “Garcia, I need you to look at any other buildings that SecureO are in charge of the security systems, see if our unsub is heading to any of these next. If we’re lucky, we’ve got enough time to stop him killing again.”

“Will do, Sir.” Penelope calls out from the phone.

“You think we’ll get him in time?” You speak up, fiddling with the hem of your cardigan.

“Hopefully.” Hotch sighs and JJ walks back in.

“Ready when you are, Hotch.”

* The plan was simple, and it should’ve been effective. All of you were teamed off into pairs. Prentiss and Morgan, JJ and Rossi, Hotch and the chief of police whilst you went with Reid.

“I’m proud of you, Y/n.” Spencer mutters as you sit beside him in the car on route to the office block about ten minutes west of the station. “Without you, we might not have gotten to this point.”

Spencer can’t help but feel warm inside as you smile up at him. “You think so?”

“I know for a fact.” He states as his hand reaches out to yours as he pulls up to the building. “Just keep an eye out, and don’t do anything stupid.”

“Again.” You add as you close the car door, securing your vest on as the pair of you begin to head up to the roof of the building, you leading the way.

“Any sign, Y//L/N?” Hotch asks through your earpiece.

Looking around, you keep your gun extended in front of you as you quietly open the door to the roof. “Negative.” You state, turning the corner as you continue to search the place whilst Spencer is still coming up the stairs.

“Reid, my dead grandmother could’ve gotten up those stairs faster than you.” You joke playfully as he comes into sight, the sun beginning to set behind you illuminating his hazel eyes as they widen.

“Y/n!” Spencer yells, but you’re too slow to react as an arm is tightly holding your neck whilst a knife is being pressed against your back beneath the vest.

“Long time no see, huh, Y/n?” Killian mutters into your ear as he begins to drag you back as you sight against him. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, this can end one of two ways, I prefer to keep this clean.”

“We need back up and medics at 1238 Meadow Lane, I repeat, we need backup. Killian is here, he, he has Y/n.” Saying that through the comms immediately causes his heart to sink as tears fill your eyes.

“We’re coming now,” Hotch announces, and you can hear the sound of sirens across the city as Killian drags you toward the edge of the roof with you in front of him.

“Spence,” You focus on Spencer’s face as his gun remains out, directed at Killian’s head. “what are the statistics of surviving this?” You ask him as a tear falls down your cheek.

“Y/n,” Spencer starts, but you shake your head as you fight against Killian, taking shallow breaths as he continues to apply pressure to your windpipe.

“Please,” You breathe out as Killian chuckles against you. “I need to know.”

The truth of the matter is you know your odds of making it out alive are slim to none, but you wanted to hear Spencer ramble one last time. 

“From a building like this, a ten-story drop your odds aren’t great, in fact, falls from ten-story buildings have a 90% chance of death.” He explains, his gun now shaking in his hand as he pictures you on the ground below, bleeding out. “Those, those who survive can be paralysed if they land on their backs, permanent brain damage from skull fractures or,” Spencer stops himself as Killian focuses on him.

“Do finish Doctor Reid, I’m enjoying this.” Killian states, and you shudder at the fact he’s finding this entertaining.

“In cases like Sylvia, she survived but was left to bleed out.” Spencer finishes, and your eyes widen. “You see, Sylvia wasn’t suicidal like we thought. She was just in the wrong place, wasn’t she, Killian?” Spencer steps closer, but you wince as you can feel the knife starting to pierce your skin.

“No, Sylvia killed herself. I, I saw it.” Killian yells, tightening his grip around your neck as your hands lie limply by your sides. “I would never hurt her.”

“Not intentionally,” Spencer comments. “you were playing, and you knocked her, didn’t you?”

Killian shakes his head. “No! She jumped!” You can feel his heart beating against you. “She jumped and never said goodbye, she left me all alone.” He cries out.

“Killian, I’m sorry.” You manage to say. “It wasn’t your, your fault.”

“She left me here.” He spits at you. “Everyone else moved on, but I was left with the guilt.”

“There’s always another way, Killian.” You speak softly, focusing on Spencer. “But if this is it,” You start, but Spencer shakes his head. “Spencer, I’m so sorry.” You let your tears fall freely down your cheeks as Spencer steps closer.

“Y/n, don’t do this.” Spencer tells you.

“I love you Spence, but please, please be strong for me.” You can feel yourself beginning to slip out of consciousness as Killian continues to apply more pressure around your neck.

“There’s another way out, Killian. I promise you, just let Y/n go.” Spencer is yelling at the top of his lungs as Killian simply laughs.

“You think there’s another option? You sure you’re a Doctor, kid?” Killian scoffs.

“It’ll be okay, Spence,” You fight against the unsubs hold as his arm remains pressed against your neck. “just, don’t give up.”

“Please, let her go!” You can hear the crack in his voice as his gun shakes in his grip, his eyes not leaving yours as tears pool. “You don’t have to do this, there’s another choice for you.”

The unsub scoffs as you wince at he breathes into your ear. “This ends with you.”

Closing your eyes, you embrace the feeling as Killian falls backwards, taking you with him.

“NO!” Spencer screams, running over as Killian lets go of you at the last second.

Spencer grabs a hold of your hand, but within a split second, it slips. “Spence,” You cry out as you hang on to the ledge of the building with all your might.

The sound of Killian hitting the floor only worsens your fear as Spencer begins to pull you up. All you can hear is the sound of your heart in your ears as the sirens dull behind you whilst Spencer is yelling in front of you, yet you can’t hear any of it. 

“Come on, Y/n, stay with me!” Spencer screams as another pair of hands appear by his side.

“Come on, we’ve got you.” Hotch states, pulling you up with Spencer and away from the ledge.

Immediately you fall into Spencer’s arms, your hands gripping his arms as you sob into his chest. “It’s okay, I’m not letting go.” Spencer holds you tightly as he looks up at Hotch, his expression saying more than words can.

“We need a medic!” Hotch yells as three men appear, checking over you as you remain sat with Spencer on the roof, far away from the ledge.

“You’re okay,” Spencer tells you as you go quiet, going into shock as the medics help you out from the building and into the ambulance as your team stands by.

“Oh thank god.” JJ blurts out as Spencer exits the building, enveloping him into a tight hug. “Are you alright?” She checks as she pulls away, but Spencer can’t help himself as he focuses on you in the back of the ambulance, wrapped in foil as the medics check you over.

JJ follows Spencer’s gaze and can’t help but force back her smile.

“Go on, you should be with her.” She assures him, but Spencer pauses.

“Y/n told me she loves me.” Spencer quietly tells JJ who quirks an eyebrow. “You, you knew didn’t you?”

JJ chuckles under her breath. “Spence, we all knew. But she doesn’t know you love her too, does she?”

Spencer shakes his head as he glances back over to you, seeing you being given the all-clear as you begin to rise to your feet.

Immediately, Spencer darts over to help you, his hand resting on your waist as you look up at him. “Spence, I,” You stumble over your words, watching as Killian’s body is being transported away in the body bag.

“Hey, don’t focus on that,” Spencer rests his hand on your cheek. “you’re alive, and I guess you beat the statistic.” He states, listening as you laugh lightly.

“Probably because I didn’t fall.” You add.

“But you almost did, and, and I would never have had the chance to tell you this,” Spencer tells you.

“Tell me what?” You ask, looking up at him with hesitation.

Spencer opens his mouth and after exactly three years, two months and nine days of knowing you and falling in love with you, he cannot find the right words to string together. “In the English language. there are 171,476 words. I’ve only ever needed three of them to tell you how I feel, but I can’t even do that properly.” He laughs uneasily as he focuses on you.

Lifting your hand up, you rest it on the back of his neck as you rise to your tiptoes. “Is this okay?” You whisper.

“More than okay,” Spencer responds before his lips are on yours.

You can hear Rossi cheering in the background as Hotch tries to shush them all but secretly is proud of you both. Having seen the way you gripped Spencer’s shirt when he saved you on that roof, he knew it was about time something would finally happen.

Pulling away from the kiss, you laugh lightly. “I take it the feeling is reciprocated then?” You question, and Spencer smiles.

“I’m never letting you go again.” He mumbles into you as you rest your head against his chest, hoping that promise will remain intact.

[felassan]

Mass Effect development insights and highlights from Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

This is the Mass Effect version of this post.

[In case you can’t read it the subtitle in the bottom left logo above is “Guardians of the Citadel”]

Note: Drug use is mentioned.

Cut for length.

Mass Effect 1

ME began its life in a vision document in fall 2003

Codenamed “SFX”

Conceived of by Casey Hudson and a core team from KotOR. Its genesis was the intention to create an epic sci-fi RPG in an original setting that BioWare owned (so they could have full creative control), and in a setting that was conceived of first and foremost as a video game

Initially players could control any squadmate, but they wanted it to be about Shep and for players to be focused on Shep being a battlefield commander, rather than on switching bodies

By the start of 2004 its story was shaping up. Initially humans landed on Mars in 2250 and discovered evidence of an ancient alien race and a powerful substance, Black Sand, which rapidly advanced tech to the point that FTL travel was possible. (My note: obviously now the Prothean artifacts on Mars & associated mass effect force tech enabled this in the final canon, but I wonder if aspects of the ‘Black Sand’ naming-type & powerful substance stuff was rolled into red sand from final canon) Humans were suddenly capable of travel to multiple star systems and made contact with a multitude of other species. At the start of the first game, these species together with humans had a fragile peace, with focus placed on the political center of the galaxy, a hub known as Star City, later renamed the Citadel

Multiplayer was a vision for the series as far back as 2003. The plan was for ME1, an Xbox exclusive at launch, to take advantage of the platform’s online components. Early designs saw players meeting in one of the central hubs to interact and trade items in their otherwise SP adventures

By 2006 it had the name ME and the story was more specific, with the theme of conflict between organic and synthetic lifeforms. The story’s scope now stretched across 3 games and included scope for full co-op MP

They tried to do MP in every game, discussing it from the get-go, but it always just fell by the wayside. “When you’re trying to build something that is a new IP, on a new platform, with a new engine, you’ve got to really focus on the core elements of the game.” 

The conversation system prototype was made in Jade Empire, and some of ME’s earliest writing was done in an old JE build. At first there was no conversation wheel. Paragon was “Friendly” and Renegade “Hostile”. In the prototype Shep was a silent unnamed Spectre. Many conversations in the prototype about the player’s choice in smuggling a weapon through Noveria made it into the game

In said prototype a merchant referred to themselves as “this one”, though the word hanar never appeared. The PC in it also had the option to end a conversation with “I should go”. In the prototype also, Harkin was voiced by Mark Meer

An early version of the Mako got used as the krogan truck in ME2

Early concepts of the Citadel were drawn in pencil by CH. A piece of concept art of its final design was painted based on a photo of a sculpture near Aswan, Egypt

As with any new IP naming it was a struggle. They put out a call to all staff for ideas, did polls, made a name generator that combined words that they liked in random ways and made pretend logos of ones they liked in Photoshop to see if they could make themselves love the name or find visual potential in it. (Some of these names are in the pic at the top of this post.) CH liked “Unearthed” as it was a reference to Prothean ruins dug up on Mars and humanity’s ascendance going away from Earth. They knew the game would have a central space station featuring prominently so some of the ideas were based on that - “The Citadel”, “The Optigon”, “The Oculon”. “Element” was another one they had in mind due to the rare substance in the game 

CH: “I was a big fan of John Harris’ book Mass, which had epic-scaled sci-fi ideas, so that was a word that came up often. Many of the names came from the idea that the IP featured a fifth fundamental physical force (in addition to the known four of gravitational, electromagnetic, strong nuclear and weak nuclear) so the word ‘effect’ came up pretty often.” Ultimately none of the ideas really felt right. One Monday morning they were going over the names and Greg Zeschuk said he had an idea on the weekend: “Mass Effect!” CH: “I said, ‘I don’t hate it’, which in the naming process is a high compliment. And it stuck!”

CH on Shep’s Prothean vision from the beacon: “It was hard to imagine how we would do this. CG was - and is - really expensive. Instead I wanted to try doing it through photography and video editing. So I went to a local grocery store and bought a few packages of the weirdest looking meat that I could find. Then I set up a little photoshoot in my basement, complete with some electronics parts and some red wine for juicyness.” He used these props to create a video sequence where the photos were rapidly cycled and blurred, along with production paintings, to create the scary vision an organic/machine experiment on the Protheans. These mashups were also used as inspiration for concept artists and level designers who were working on these themes

Tali used to be called Talsi

On the licensing side they often joke that they’re licensing N7 not “Mass Effect” due to N7′s popularity

There was a confidential internal guide to the IP in 2007 to help devs along and summarize/synthesize the vision etc. Some excerpts from it are shown in the book and this is the first time the public have ever seen them

Early versions of Asari had hair

Asari were designed as a nod to classic TV sci-fi (with human actors wearing obvious makeup and prosthetics to play aliens)

The turian design guideline was “we want them to be birds of prey”. They also wanted a range of alien types, some close to human like Asari, while others were to be a lot further away, like turians

BioWare patented the conversation wheel, which was a first for them. CH had been frustrated with reviews of Jade Empire that said that the actioncentric game was too wordy [with its list dialogue]. “I’m like, story is words. [...] What is it about our games that is making people feel like they’re wordy?” Then he thought “In a game you kind of need to feel like you’re continuing to play it. Maybe you should continue feeling like you’re playing it actively into the dialogue.” “[The wheel] kind of gave a new experience with dialogue when you did start to react based on emotion, and that’s ultimately what we’re trying to bring out in our games”

The original krogan concept was based on a bat “with a really wide squidgy face. We just used its face on top of this weird body and it kinda worked”

Geth musculature was based on fiber-optic cables, with flexible plates of armor attached

The vision for the IP was 80s sci-fi inspired space opera

The concept art of Saren lifting Shep by the throat inspired a similar scene in-game. The staging wasn’t planned til designers saw that art

A squadmate with Shepard on the way to meet Ash in an old storyboard was called Carter. Early name of Kaidan or Jenkins?

Bono from U2 was kinda instrumental in bringing us ME lol

Finding the right cover art for ME1 was notably tricky

Matt Rhodes got his start drawing helmets for ME1, including one which would become Shep’s “second face”. He estimates he drew between 250-270 different ones

Some of the sounds in-game were people smashing watermelons with sledgehammers and sticking fists into various goos

The audio team had fun trying to slip the iconic main theme into unexpected places throughout the MET. “We were very aware of how powerful that track was for the fans and it was tempting to overuse it for any moment we wanted to make really emotional”.

The theme was creatively repurposed in ME3: slowed down and reworked as the ambient sound for the SR-2. “If you listen to it for a really long time, just stand in the Normandy and listen, you’ll actually hear the notes change slowly. It doesn’t sound like music, it sounds like a background ambiance, but it’s there.” (My note: Well no wonder the Normandy feels so much like home?? 😭 sneaky..)

Bug report: “Mako Tornado”. There wasn’t enough friction between the tires and the ground, causing testers to lose control of the vehicle and send it spinning into the air like a tornado. “As it turns, the front end comes up, and then it starts spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning faster and faster and faster until it just flies up in the sky” (My note: Sounds like a regular day in the Mako to me)

Cerberus originally had a bigger role in this game. It was cut but they had a whole explorable outpost. “I called it Misery,” says Mac Walters, “It was this planet with a little outpost that said ‘Welcome to Misery’”. Everything on the outpost was shit - dirty worn stuff, no windows, no kitchen, the vehicle bay was open to the elements etc

The Reaper sound is literal garbage. Some audio designers went on a recording trip to a national park. One of them got fixated on a garbage can, “a metal bear-proof receptacle with a heavy lid that creaked horribly when opened”. “It was like, ominous, spooky, tonal and almost musical. I decided to throw a mic into the garbage and record it moving. I didn’t know what it was going to be until later”

They were making lots of noises to record like throwing logs and rocks around. An old couple peered at them through the window of their camper van in the woods and must have called the cops because then the cops showed up, pulled them over and told them to stop. The cops towed their car (the driver’s plates were Cali plates and expired), drove them to Edmonton outskirts and then the audio producer Shauna got a call and had to go pick them up “like three little boys”. “We got a stern talking to”. Once back they were playing around with the garbage sound, editing it etc. Casey heard it and proclaimed “That’s the sound of the Reapers”

Preston Watamaniuk: “There are things I could have done to Mass 1 to make it an infinitely better game with better UIs” and some simple cuts and changes. “But when you’re living with it, it’s very hard to see those things”

BioWare Labs

As social media and smartphone games exploded, BioWare dedicated a small team dedicated to exploring opportunities here - BioWare Labs

Mass Effect: Galaxy used a unique graphic art style and static visual presentation common in visual novels. It has the distinction of being the only iOS game BW have made during their first 25 years

Scrapped ideas were a 3rd person space shooter called Mass Effect: Corsair and 2 DA titles - a strategy game and a top-down dungeon crawler starring young Wynne. (My note: Maybe the corsairs stuff was rolled into Jacob’s backstory in 2, the Alliance Corsairs)

Corsair was a very short-lived project that never got its feet under it. It was a spin-off on Nintendo DS featuring a behind-the-ship perspective and branching dialogue. At one point it had MP. The idea behind it was basically “ME: Freelancer” - fly your ship around, do missions, get credits. It had a limited branching story but was a gameplay-centered experience intended to fill the gap between ME1 and 2. That gap ended up being filled by Galaxy

Galaxy and Corsair’s smaller screen allowed concept artists to use bold colors and a simplistic character design style to help those games stand out from Shep’s story

Nick Thornborrow did some art for Corsair but was worried his art style didn’t fit ME. He moved to DA where he feels his art style fits better

Lots of BioWare VAs and even a lead writer and the VO director are drawn from Edmonton’s local community theater scene, which is vibrant. Think this is how Mark Meer got involved

Mass Effect 2

Player choices carrying over was a first for BW

Dirty Dozen-inspired plot

Its plot is a web of conditionals (see Suicide Mission)

Was more of a shooter than anything BW had made since Shattered Steel

There was 2 camps on the team, those who wanted to push combat and systems forward and redefine the ME experience and those who wanted to make a true sequel, with the same gameplay and systems but a new story. Karin Weekes: “I think it ended up being a good push-pull. It felt like a pretty healthy creative conflict”

“ME2 was a game you could hold up to someone who argues that games aren’t a serious medium and go ‘Oh yeah, then why is Martin Sheen in this?’” Sheen was their first pick for TIM

The idea for TIM came from a mash-up of concepts CH had collected over the years. The name “Illusive” originally came from his pitch for naming DAO’s Eclipse engine, a word inspired by Obi-Wan’s line “It’s not about the mission, Master. It’s something... elsewhere. Elusive”. “I thought, what if we called our next engine 'Elusive', but used an ‘I’, and then it’s like ‘Illusion’. [...] I still really like the word with an ‘I’ and what it conjures”

When ME1 DLC was in production, CH had been watching a lot of CNN, specifically Anderson Cooper. “How is one guy travelling to all these places and never looking tired and always being able to speak with clarity?” CH says it seemed almost superhuman. “What if there was someone who is the absolute maximum of the things you would aspire to be, but also the worst of humanity?” Cooper, though not evil, became an inspiration for TIM down to the gray hair and piercing blue eyes

Inspiration for TIM’s behind-the-scenes role pulling political strings came from Jack Bauer’s brother Graem in 24. Graem “can call up the president and tell him what to do and hang up, because he’s so connected and so influential”. Sheen had played a president and his performance brought gravitas and wisdom to the role. He had quit smoking, but the character smokes. He didn’t want to fake it, but he also didn’t want to smoke, “so he actually asked for a cigarette” to hold so he could stop his words to take drags with natural cadence

Writing was still pushing to write and revise lines hours before VO started. A series of problems like injury and some writers leaving for other opportunities left it so that Karin, Lukas Kristjanson and editor Cookie Everman hand to land the story safely, with PW helping where they could. Lukas: “We took over the writing bug and task list, and I can’t stress enough how much [Karin and Cookie] did to get ME2 out the door. There’s no part of that thing we didn’t touch”. Karin: “That was the most dramatic 2 weeks of my life”

Initial fan reaction when they started promo-ing ME2 was very negative because people didn’t want to know about new chars like Jack and Mordin. “[fans were like] ‘Get them out of here. We want our characters from the first game’. But then when they played them, those became some of the most popular chars [of the series]”

Concept art of Thane has an idea annotation saying “Face can shapeshift?”

At one point when designing Thane concept artists sent multiple variations of him to the team asking them to vote on which was the most attractive

Most of the Normandy crew was written by lead level designer Dusty Everman. Lukas gave him advice in the evenings between bugs

BioWare Montreal made ME2 and 3 cinematics

CC for Shep was based on tools used by char designers to create in-game chars. Under the hood similar tools existed to create aliens

Aliens were much easier to animate than humans. When something is human it’s very difficult to make it look realistic and you can see all the mistakes and everything

Over the holiday period in 2007 CH worked out a diagram on a single piece of paper that would define the entire scope and structure of the game. The diagram is included in the book

Bug report: “I shot a krogan so hard that his textures fell off”. At one point shotgun blast damage was applied to each of the pellets fired, and shot enemies ended up with just the default checkerboard Unreal texture on them after their textures got blown off

Blasto was meant to be 1 step above an Easter egg but his fan popularity prompted them to bring him back in ME3

They rewrote chunks of Jack 2 days before she went to VO. She was the only one they could change because all the other NPCs were recorded. They redesigned her mission by juggling locked NPC lines and changing Shep’s reactions by rewriting text paraphrases to change the context of the already-recorded VO

Lukas snuck obscure nods ito ME2′s distress calls. In the general distress call for the Hugo Gernsback, there’s BW’s initial’s and Edmonton’s phone number backwards. In a fault in a beacon protocol there’s the initials and backward phone number from Tommy Tutone’s “Jenny”. In 2 other general distress calls there’s initials and numbers from Glenn Miller Orchestra’s “Pennsylvania 6-5000″ and initials and numbers from Geddy Lee and Rush’s “2112″ respectively 

Mass Effect 3

“The end of an era marks the beginning of another”

ME3 “marked the end of Shep’s story”

Saying bye to Shep was as difficult for devs as it was for players

JHale’s final VO session included Anderson’s death and romanced Garrus’ goodbye. “We were in the session and we both just started crying”, Caroline says. “I couldn’t come on the line to give her notes because I was crying, and she was crying. And so there was just this minute-long pause of like, nothing, nothing, nothing - just silence through the airwaves. And then I came on and just told her that I was crying and she said ‘I’m crying!’” They talked about these anecdotes also here on the N7 Day reunion panel

The Microsoft Kinect voice support required devs to teach Kinect hundreds of commands in a variety of accents across multiple languages. The result was useful but made for some awkward moments. Numerous players accidentally said “geth” or “quarian” while making a particular decision and accidentally killed Tali

MP chars were voiced by cops and military people

The helmet on one of the MP chars was originally designed for cancelled project Revolver

The payload device at the end needed to attach to the Citadel while essentially serving as a giant trigger. “It ended up becoming quite the engineering feet just to visualize how this thing would move and connect to the Citadel”

Concept artists explored creating an anti-team, where Kai Leng was almost an anti-Shepard essentially, with an elite squad to counteract your team. This idea never went beyond concept phase

ME3 Special Edition was released on Nintendo Wii U exclusively. This exclusive version of the game includes Genesis 2 (a sequel to the original Genesis comic) and unique gameplay features that took advantage of the touchscreen GamePad. For years Sonic Chronicles: Dark Brotherhood had had the honor of being BW’s only game made for a Nintendo console

FemShep regrettably didn’t feature in major ME marketing til ME3. Later releases like DAI, MEA and Anthem have taken increasing care not to gender their protagonists in cover art

To capture combat sounds they took a trip to CFB Wainwright, a military base southeast of Edmonton. They got a big tour of it and were allowed to record anything they could find. The tour ended with them getting to drive and shoot tanks (real shells). The force of doing that sent waves through Joel Green, he felt his whole chest compress when it went off; the perfect sound for the Black Widow! After the trip the soldiers let him keep the shell he fired and it’s been passed on like a torch to various devs since

Kakliosaurs began life as a joke in the writers’ room after John Dombrow placed a Grunt figure on a t-rex toy he had on his desk. Lore was brainstormed to justify the mash-up before someone asked, “Why don’t we put this in the game?” They loved it so much Karin had custom coffee mugs made

Bug report: For a while Tali’s final romance scene would fire when she was supposed to be dead

“Balancing combat: how designers in ME3 entered an ‘arms race’” - the solution to players feeling OP vs players feeling frustrated by really strong enemies is to find a good middle ground, but for designers Corey Gaspur and Brenon Holmes, it was war. Brenon designed enemies, Corey designed guns. Corey “was obsessed with bigger, heavier guns. We had this sort of informal competition where he’d make this crazy overturned gun that would just murder all the enemies, and then I tuned some stuff up to compensate”

Brenon had to invent new ways to “stop Corey” and this led to the Phantoms. Corey had in turn designed consumable rockets that could wipe out entire waves of enemies. He must’ve figured this would make short work of Brenon’s space ninjas, but Brenon had other plans: “I had just added the ability for her to cut rockets [when Corey was playing MP and he was watching]. She cut the rocket in half... Corey just turns and looks at me and is like: ‘Really dude? I just shot a rocket at this Phantom and she’s fine? Not even damaged? Zero damage?’” 

This friendly rivalry helped elevate ME3′s gameplay. Corey had a knack for making a gun feel so good to fire it had his fellow designers scrambling to keep up. It was his version of balancing. Before Corey sadly passed away he mentored Boldwin Li in all things weapon design and the arms race continued

Corey designed the Arc Pistol. It was causing problems for enemies because it was too powerful. It seemed hell bent on staying that way, Boldwin would tune down all its stats and it was still doing 3x the damage it should have been doing. “I was like ‘What the hell?’, and then I looked closer. It secretly fired 3 bullets for every pull of the trigger! Corey, you sneaky jerk”

The day it launched there were midnight launch parties across North America including one near the BW building. Numerous devs sat at long tables greeting fans and signing autographs as the fans picked up preorders. When midnight struck the line was long enough that it took several hours for some fans to get their game. One particular fan is remembered: “It was 3am. Some guy drove up from Calgary with his friends. He was like one of the last people in line. I think he was sort of tired-drunk. He threw himself across the tables, pulled up his shirt and shouted ‘Guys, sign my abs!’ And like I did, because he waited so long. It felt impolite not to. So I hope he enjoyed his copy of ME3″

For designing Protheans concept artists had free reign to design something that read as ancient

Before the concept art team had the story of the game to work toward, they explored wild ideas of their own including an image of the crew stealing back the Normandy to go after the Reapers

Jen Cheverie was testing scenes and was initially excited to be testing Mordin scenes, til she saw she was testing the Renegade version of his death. “This is even before like all of the audio and everything was in, so you didn’t even have the sad music. I remember sitting at my desk and my hands just went to my face when I saw that the gun Shep pulls on Mordin is the gun he gives Shep in ME2. I burst into tears and was crying for the rest of the day. People are waving to me as they walk by and I’m like, ‘It’s ok, I’m just killing my best friend’” 

There’s a segment called “Shepard’s story ends”. Casey on the ending: “There’s a whole bunch of things that come together to make it incredibly tense and emotional for players. I think the biggest one was the sense of finality, that whatever it was that happened in that very last moment... was it.” 

Wrapping up the story was a massive feat. In a way all of ME3 is an ending. Its final moments were the players’ last with a char they’d been with all the way from Eden Prime

“And while the critical reception of the game was extremely positive, many fans were unsatisfied with the ending, which became one of the most controversial in the history of games.” CH: “We were, on one hand, at the end of a marathon trying to finish the game and the series. But as devs we also knew that there would be more. We knew that we would continue to tell the story. In retrospect, we didn’t fully appreciate the tremendous sense of finality that it would have for people”. He envisioned an ending that posed new questions, something in the tradition of high sci-fi that left players dreaming about what that particular galaxy’s future could hold. “Frankly, there’s a lot more that we could have and should have done to honor the work players put in, to give them a stronger sense of reward and closure”

AAA games are massive undertakings with a million moving parts. Somehow they come together but even the best-planned projects don’t turn out quite like devs hope. From start to end video game production is a series of compromises. It’s rare if not impossible for devs to ship a game they’re entirely happy with. “I think that people imagine that when you finish a game, it’s exactly the way you wanted it to be. But whether people end up loving or hating the final result, we work hard to finish it the best we can, knowing that there’s a lot we would have wanted to do better. I think that’s true of any creative work”

As the dust settled after the initial reaction to the ending and later its epilogue, meant to show the wide-reaching ripple effects of Shep’s final choice, “players emerged mostly asking for one thing”. CH: “Now, most of what we hear, after both ME3 and MEA, is ‘Hey, just go make more Mass Effect’. And that to me is the most important thing. Knowing that players want to return to the ME universe is what inspires us to press on and imagine what comes next”

Mass Effect: Andromeda

By creating a new ME in a new galaxy the team was challenged to put their own visual stamp on the game while keeping it true to the franchise

Being the first ME game on a new gen of consoles meant for more detail

“Massive transport ships called arks populated with salarians, turians, humans, asari and quarians” made the risky jump to the Cluster

MEA was the first time BW had truly codeveloped across 3 studios: Edmonton, Montreal and Austin. The bulk of the work especially early on was done in Montreal, which was composed of a handful of Edmonton expats and heaps of experienced devs who joined from elsewhere specifically to bring a new ME experience to life. Series vets in Edmonton then came on to contribute writing, cinematics, design and QA, along with leadership from creative director Mac Walters and the core Production team. Austin writers and level designers also joined the fray

“It took a new team to take ME beyond the Milky Way”

Mac: “A lot of people in Montreal joined BW as fans of the franchise, so they just had this passion, and it felt like it was more like the days of Jade Empire, where a smaller younger team gets to do something for the first time. Even though it wasn’t necessarily a new IP for me, it felt fresh and new because of that. The team was just super excited to be working on it”

Early plans had the player exploring hundreds of worlds, procedurally generated, allowing for a nearly infinite variety of experiences. But as development wore on, it became clear that the game narrative required more specific, hand-touched level design on each world to keep the story focused and the experience engaging. “The plan was to give players numerous uncharted worlds to explore. Designers worked hard to come up with procedural elements that would make such planets special. Eventually the team made the difficult decision to abandon procedural planets in favor of more memorable hand-touched alien worlds, each with a specific story to tell”

One challenge was defining what ME meant without Shep. Care was given to include many of the MET’s key species. “Ryder recruited turian, asari, krogan and salarian followers”. Like Shep Ryder represents humanity’s hope for a peaceful coexistence among aliens who had long operated without human contact

Beginning with MEA the team decided that with few exceptions vehicles in ME have 6 wheels. Early Nomad concepts were bulkier. Later ones focused on its ability to move over its ability to protect itself from hostile fire, underlining the themes of exploration

German concept designer and auto-motive futurist Daniel Simon was contracted to create the Nomad and Tempest. The Tempest’s final design took inspo from the Concorde 

Concepts for angaran fighter ships have the following notes: “Two doors swing open, wings rotate down to function as landing struts, the landing struts split open. It has a spinning turbine engine 

Despite being set a galaxy away and some 600 years after Mordin’s death, there was a time when he had a cameo. It wasn’t cut due to running out of time however, it was cut due to drug references. John Dombrow explains: “One day I had to write a small quest for Kadara. I thought it’d be amusing if these 2 guys living way out on the fringes in a shack were growing plants for uh, medicinal purposes, and needed Ryder’s help with it. It occurred to me, wouldn’t it be amusing if Ryder had the option of actually trying ‘the medicine’ to see what would happen? And I thought, what if it turned into some hallucination that somehow involved SAM - like maybe SAM would sing? But why? How could I motivate that? Then it hit me. Who else in the ME game sings unexpectedly? MORDIN. As a nod to him I wrote SAM singing Modern Major-General. It got even better when our cine designer John Ebenger wanted to take it even further. Bless him, he came in on a Saturday to do a special hallucination showing Mordin himself. It was great. Til the fateful day we were told MEA had already been submitted to the ratings board. That’s when you declare things like drug references in your game. Mordin fell under that category which meant it was a no-go. We were too late”

Ryder’s white AI armor contrasts Shep’s iconic dark armor (intentional design)

Concept art for Ryder involved experiments with cloth (cloaks, ponchos, capes - “Pull here to release cloak”) and asymmetrical design elements

For alien design, there’s a few exceptions but humanoid figures are the ME standard and this persisted into MEA

Kett and angara concepts explored striking lines and textures 

– From Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

[elminx]

Happy August!

August is a 4 Universal month (8 (August) + 5 (2021) = 13 = 1 + 3 = 4) in a 5 universal year. With both Venus and Mars currently transiting Virgo, the energy is strong this month to get organized and/or get yourself back on track for your 2021 goals.

The setup: Saturn in Aquarius and Uranus in Taurus are still square to one another and will be through December and into 2022. Pluto in Capricorn, Jupiter in Aquarius, and Neptune in Pisces are lined up ~30 degrees apart from each other. We have four plants plus an asteroid retrograde throughout August: Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Pluto, and Chiron. This signifies a more "yin" energy signature that is out of alignment with the forceful fire energy of Leo season.

The TL:DR: As the Sun and Mercury transit Leo, they are going to relight up our fixed t-square involving Saturn and Uranus early in the month. You may be able to break through the big blocks in your life during this time but only if you can step away from your ego. This month is full of mixed messages and misunderstandings - we are all trying to figure out our new lives right now, give yourself and your others a metric fuckton of space. The work you put into your life is what you will get back out of it - go slow and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Expecting expedited results is a recipe for disaster.

There's a lot going on in the cosmos this month - there's rarely a day that is aspect-free and they are, for the most part, challenging. This has to do with our lineup of outer planets - see the details for more information.

The Nitty Gritty:

As we enter August, our Sun-Mercury conjunction is lighting up our long-term square between Saturn in Aquarius and Uranus in Taurus. This is our unstoppable force (Uranus) meets immovable object (Saturn) energy. Something has got to give to make way for the After. Much of how August plays out for you will likely be dictated by how you have been working with and processing this long-term aspect.

If 2020's motto was "Change Before You Have To", this Saturn-Uranus square is the "Have To". Uranus is the lightning on the Tower card - the change that is unavoidable. All you can control is how you react to the change.

Yeah, that's probably a terrifying concept. I get it. But I also firmly believe that when you stand aware in the middle of the maelstrom, that's where the true magic happens. In the moment of liminality, anything is possible.

August is the maelstrom. This shouldn't really come as a surprise but I guess that some people have their heads really far inside the sands. The storm never ended, we just got a brief reprieve. I hope that you all took good advantage of it - I know that I did.

For the rest of the month, all of our personal planets will be making complicated aspects to our outer planets - this is because of the angles. It's definitely echoing the roller coaster vibe of 2021's "5" energy - you'll see that continue next month as September is a 5 month in a 5 year.

Expect epic highs and abysmal lows. Probably to have your stomach drop out from under you at least once. There's a lot going on, try to harness Mars in Virgo's ability to roll with it and worry about figuring out the details later. Mars in Virgo is very in line with August's 4 energy: make a list but keep it open-ended, show up and do the work. Amanda of Wise Skies Advice called this month "Focus Pocus" and I'm in agreement there - what you focus on grows.

There's a lot of magic to be found in August, but you need to keep your focus. If you get wrapped up in your emotions, or worse, the rising collective fear, it will be easy to lose your way. Don't feed the monster. This is especially true for empaths and other highly sensitive persons.

Dates to Pay Attention To

8/1: Sun conjunct Mercury in Leo, Mercury opposed Saturn - thoughts will be very close to the surface and potentially heavy. Watch out for the stories you tell yourself, especially about Saturnian topics: government, contracts, money, marriage - this will be in effect all through the first week of August and through the new moon

8/2: Sun opposed Saturn, Moon square Mars - this is likely to be a frustrating day. Where do you need to slow down? Where have you been pushing in a direction that is only resistance?

8/3: Venus trine Uranus, Moon square Venus - the anecdote to this malaise is to try something new

8/6: Sun square Uranus - watch out. Lie low. Stay away with explosives - observe that physically as well as metaphorically. Where is your ego getting in the way of what you need?

8/8: New Moon at 16 Leo conjunct Mercury - Depending on how comfortable you are with Mercury energy, this moon may feel enlightening or anxiety-making. Practice good self-care - soothe your system with calming crystals or nervine tea if you need to.

8/9: Venus opposed Neptune retrograde: that lie may come due today - watch out for dishonesty, especially with yourself

8/10: Mercury opposed Jupiter retrograde: What is your inner truth? What do you believe? Does it align with what you know now? What needs to be re-evaluated? Again, how you perceive this will likely have a lot to do with your relationship with Mercury.

8/11: Mercury enters Virgo, Venus trine Pluto retrograde - Mercury is at home in Virgo - expect communication to become more orderly and precise over the next three weeks. The Divine Feminine may be experiencing a rebirth at this time.

8/14: Moon in Scorpio square Saturn retrograde in Aquarius - this lights up that Saturn-Uranus square...again. Watch out, friction is likely to be high.

8/16: Venus enters Libra, Moon square Mercury, Moon square Mars - Venus is at home in the sign of Libra, expect some of our focus to be on our relationships (of all kinds) during this transit. The energy of the day will likely be volatile and moody. Both your words and your actions may be misunderstood at this time - exercise caution.

8/17 Sun in Leo trine Moon in Sag, Moon square Neptune retrograde - a lovely fire trine but watch out for illusions - all that glitters may not be gold

8/18: Mercury conjunct Mars in Virgo - work for it. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Slow and steady wins this race.

8/19: Sun opposed Jupiter retrograde, Uranus retrograde at 14 Taurus, Moon conjunct Pluto - The energy is likely to feel at once larger than life and impossibly deep. Whether you enjoy this will have a lot to do with your personality and comfort levels. It's always wise to go slow when a major planet like Uranus retrograde but Sun opposed Jupiter may not let us do that.

8/20: Mercury trine Uranus, Moon trine Venus, Moon conjunct Saturn - you might get flashes of insight at this time but it is unlikely that you will be able to implement them just yet. Hold tight. This day also lights up our Saturn-Uranus square - stay aware and cautious. Avoid arguments.

8/22: Full Moon at 29 Aquarius, Mars trine Uranus, Sun enters Virgo - this is wildcard energy, engage with care. This again activates our Saturn-Uranus square - stay aware and stay cautious.

8/23: Venus trine Saturn retrograde, Moon opposed Mars, Moon conjunct Neptune retrograde- emotions, especially around close relationships, are likely close to the surface. You may not have all of the information or may be lying to yourself.

8/24: Mercury opposed Neptune retrograde: another big reveal - watch the news, listen carefully to what the people in your life are saying

8/25: Moon in Aries opposed Venus in Libra - moooooody. Remember great things happen when you stop being a moody cow. Give your others a break.

8/26: Mercury trine Pluto retrograde, Venus in Libra opposed Chiron retrograde in Aries - the new message is one of independence and accountability, do you hear it yet? What part of you needs to be reborn to get you on track?

8/27: Moon conjunct Uranus, Moon square Saturn: the moon activates our square again today - same old - be cautious - this is happening 4x every month right now, it's not "new news" just something to stay aware of

8/29: Mercury enters Libra: this isn't a great placement for Mercury. The idea of giving two sides equal air time without account for its truthfulness is a failing of Mercury in Libra thinking. Watch out for overthinking and analysis paralysis.

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