as someone who very much enjoys BROADWAY Heathers the Musical, I physically cannot listen to West End.
I cant
the voices are just- WRONG
and it kills mw inside every single time I hear it bc why does JD sound so OLD he’s a senior HIGHSCHOOLER not College student and Veronica sounds like she’s in Jr. High and omfg don’t get me started on the Heather’s voices-
On another note, I am on a roadtrip and my lovely mother knows I like Heathers the Musical, so she added it to the playlist.
She added west end.
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Finally tried to give House M.D. a try since I have friends and mutuals who won't stop talking about it
Had to stop after 2 episodes, this show was made during a TIME 😫
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When your irl friend claim for not supporting the genocide but still supports biden
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in retrospect... when i started panicking because this guy was making an ultimatum that he wouldn't make plans with me again if i didn't let him come over last night, that was the moment i should have told him to go fuck himself. the despo meter was way too high on both sides! like yes i'm sure it doesn't feel like making an ultimatum when you're crying and saying "well just forget it then, i don't think we can be friends irl, i just feel so shitty now" but like... i'm putting "suburban twentysomethings who still live with their rich abusive parents" on my list of surefire sources of emotional and bodily harm. every time!
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i might have to make a donation post to be able to pay these last things for my dad moving into the elder care home and i am so sick about it we still haven't heard back about the deposit loan we applied for and everyone we talked to just told us to move him in so he wouldn't lose his spot cause if we had waited they would have given his room to the next on the waitlist which stressed me out i am not someone to just do things when everything isn't in order but now we have to pay for both deposit and half a month's rent which comes to over 30k danish kroner and we haven't heard back about the loan and i am still dealing with his old apartment as well and having to deal with a debt claim from the court that he got but has no recollection of and i feel like i am getting buried in messes that i didn't create but if i don't handle it no one else will and i am so so so terrified that if we can't pay this they will kick him out of his new home and he will be back on my couch for the rest of his life i am psychologically melting
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Prapai: I took care of you when you were sick because Rain answered your phone and invited me and you couldn't argue so now you owe me everything, absolutely everything, and nothing you say will ever matter... not that it ever did considering how far I was willing to go before. So now everything I do is great and totally darling and you owe me everything. Prepare to never have another boundary as long as you live because money will buy me everything and your trauma makes it easy for me to manipulate you.
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had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing
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I don't know how many different ways I can explain to my mother that me being an introvert and needing alone time is not a personal attack on her. Me wanting to be by myself is not the same as hating you.
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i hate you "influencers", i hate you tiktok, i hate you "content creators", i hate you "unalive" and "s€x" and "dr/ügs", i hate you instagram, i hate you consumerism, i hate you family friendly, i hate you puritans, i hate you facebook, i hate you family vloggers, i hate you violating other people's privacy, i hate you modern day social media
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
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