#i just hope you have people to talk to who aren’t my inbox bc i can’t help you here

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

I'm so normal about dnp core except it's me being so normal about how much I despise Dan lol not in a quirky way this man genuinely needs to be deplatformed

your feelings are valid but take them somewhere else my pal i’m not the right person lol

[neewtmas]

A Fateful Bus Ride

A/N: I'M BACK! wohoo! Hopefully at least some people are happy about that whoops

I finally somewhat dug myself out of this slump I've been in (writing and otherwise) and this is my reintroduction piece, if you will. It's not my greatest work (when is something ever lol) but I think it's decent and if anyone has any more requests, I'd be happy to write them. This request is from literal months ago (I'm so sorry it took so long, I hope you're still interested) and it's the only one that didn't get deleted with my whole inbox bc I had started writing it already elsewhere. anyways, enjoy <3

pairing: george karim x fem!reader

wordcount: 2.2k

request: Could you make a George Karim x fem or gn reader where they are on their way to a mission and they have to ride a bus and there aren’t enough seats so she sits on his lap and he realizes he likes her and he confesses to her when they get home and he holds her in his arms (sorry if that is very specific It just came to me and it’s so cute) 💜💕 - by @iloveyousomuchhhhhh (it's not 100% exact but I hope you like it anyways :))

taglist: @maraschinomerry @marinalor @oblivious-idiot @lockwood-lover @givemea-dam-break (if you want to be added or removed, just send me an ask)

masterlist

George stood in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of tea when he heard a commotion in the basement. The door to the staircase was slightly ajar, and he heard the clattering of metal chains against the concrete floor, followed by some curses and then more clattering. After a short silence, in which he contemplated if he should go downstairs to check, he heard the stairs creak as someone stomped upstairs, chains loudly sounding against the metal of the steps. The door got pushed open, and Y/N entered the kitchen, arms full of chains. She was breathing heavily as she unceremoniously dropped them next to the kitchen table on the floor. "What idiot put them into the closet like that? Of course they would just fall out and break my goddamn toes." George cleared his throat. He knew the culprit all too well, but a look at Y/N's face told him it would be wiser to feign ignorance. So he just shrugged. "Maybe Lockwood was feeling lazy last night", he offered and took a sip of tea to hide the small smile that fought its way onto his lips. From the way she glared at him, he was sure that she knew exactly who was responsible for putting the chains away the evening prior.

She left the kitchen and pulled the door closed rather strongly, as she always did when she was irritated. If it had closed, the bang would have probably shaken the pictures on the wall in Lucy's room in the attic, but it didn't. Instead, Lockwood came in, pushing it open again. He seemed to be in a good mood and full of energy, strutting over to the kettle on the stove, lifting the top to check for the tea inside before turning around to George. His gaze fell to the pile of chains. "Why are there chains on the floor?" He didn't even wait for George to answer, instead, he kept talking as he grabbed a cup from the cupboard and poured some tea in. "Just got the confirmation call, the case tonight is still on. Have you had a chance to gather some information?"

George filled him in on the findings the morning in the library had brought. It wasn't anything too special, it seemed to be a routine case. "Couldn't find any deaths related to the house or the ground it was built on. The lady on the phone talked about how the haunting started sometime after her great-aunt died. She wasn't living in the house though, so my bet is on some sort of haunted heirloom." Lockwood nodded contemplatively. "Sounds interesting enough."

An hour later, the four of them stood by the door, all packed and ready to go. Lockwood had the telephone by his ear, listening to what the person on the other side was saying. His expression turned from neutral to irritated quickly. He listened for a few more seconds, then said a curt goodbye before hanging up. "Can you believe it? Not a single cab is available in all of London. That guy must be mad!"

"What do we do now?", Lucy asked and Lockwood let out a long drawn sigh. "We take the bus. As the gentleman on the phone let me know, that is just as fine of transportation as a cab." He huffed, clearly of a different opinion. But complaining wouldn't get them to their destination any quicker, so they begrudgingly grabbed their equipment and left the house. Y/N had the straps of the duffle bag containing the chains thrown over her shoulder, and she quickly realised that carrying the heavy bag down the street would be much harder than simply carrying it a few metres to a waiting cab. She had a slight stumble in her step, the weight of the chains throwing her off balance.

"Do you need help with that?" George slowed down until she was next to him and extended his hand. "No it's fine", said Y/N through gritted teeth and attempted to keep walking. It was clearly not fine. George quickly caught up to her. "Just let me help you, Y/N." She sighed, setting down the bag and rubbing her shoulder with a grimace. "Fine. But let me at least carry your bag." George couldn't help but smile at her defiance. He remembered very well how long it took him to convince her to let him help her when she was struggling with something.

When she had started working for Lockwood & Co, she had been friendly but closed off - nothing that George hadn't experienced with Lockwood already. And after all, he himself wasn't known for being the most sociable person either. But something about her had caught his interest from the very first time she had walked through the door of 35 Portland Row. He handed her the much lighter duffle bag he had been carrying and picked up the one with the chains.

At the bus stop, they didn't have to wait too long, but that made their situation only marginally better. The bus that came to a halt in front of them was full, much fuller than one would expect at this time of day. But that's just how it was in the summer months, their work started when it was still light out, and that always meant that much more people were around. They hauled their bags and themselves into the vehicle and past the passengers already sitting inside. It was very apparent that the sight of their filled duffle bags, dark clothing and especially the rapiers that gleamed at their sides made the people around them somewhat uncomfortable. There were only three unoccupied seats left, and when Y/N, who entered the bus last, reached them, they were of course claimed by her colleagues.

It wasn't very comfortable, they had too much stuff with them and the bus was already overfull. "Do you wanna sit down?" George asked her and was already about to get up to let her have his seat, but she shook her head and motioned him to sit back down. "It's fine. I can just sit on the bags." They had stacked the bags to not take up any more space. But before Y/N could find a way to make herself comfortable on them, the bus driver started the engine back up and the bus lurched forward. She stumbled back, losing her grip on the pole she had held onto and landed on George's knees. She immediately started apologizing profusely, embarrassed by their sudden closeness. "It's fine, don't worry", George interrupted her, feeling a little overwhelmed by how flustered he felt all of a sudden.

She didn't try to get up and away from him immediately, and George surprised himself with his boldness as he pulled her closer so that she was on his lap completely. "Just stay here. If that's fine with you", he added hastily, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. Maybe that was a little too forward. He half expected her to jump up and get as far away from him as possible, but instead, she sheepishly nodded and didn't move. George turned his head to look out of the window, and he could feel the stares of both Lucy and Lockwood almost burning holes in the back of his head.

It was quite a long drive to the house they would be working at tonight, and George was happy to notice that Y/N seemed to get more comfortable with every passing minute. Where she was sat straight at the beginning, she was now leaning back against his chest. And again, with a boldness he didn't know he had he wrapped his arms, which had been by his side until now, around her waist and pulled her even closer to him. For a few seconds, his heart felt like it was about to jump out of his chest as he held his breath and waited for her reaction. But she just crossed her arms, placing them on top of his.

They spent the rest of the drive like this, and it was only when they reached the final stop, that George reluctantly pulled away his arms from her to let her get up. She didn't look at him, but her cheeks were pink as she grabbed her bag and dragged it off the bus. They were to only ones to get off at this stop, and so they stood alone on the sidewalk as the bus drove off. George prayed that no one would say anything about what had just happened. Luckily, neither Lucy nor Lockwood seemed to be in the mood for any teasing, though he could still feel them looking at him curiously. He chose to ignore them.

The case was just about as uneventful as he had predicted, and the source of the ghost - the great-aunt's necklace - had been found and cleared pretty quickly. Still, when they arrived back at the bus stop, it was dark. It was obvious that Lockwood still wasn't happy with this kind of travelling, but at least they didn't have to wait too long. This time, the bus was empty - no one besides agents was still outside now. The bus driver looked even more unhappy than Lockwood, and it was clear that he too would have preferred for them to have taken a cab.

But George was convinced that neither of them - neither the bus driver nor Lockwood - was quite as unhappy as he felt when he realised there was absolutely no reason for him and Y/N to repeat the seating arrangement from before. With them being the only four passengers, there were plenty of free seats available. But what somewhat lessened his disappointment, was the fact that Y/N chose the free seat next to him to sit.

Back home in Portland Row, George put on a kettle on the stove. Lockwood and Lucy had excused themselves to bed even though they came back earlier than usual from their case. Y/N on the other hand stayed with him in the kitchen while they waited for the water to boil. She was telling him about something that happened last time she had gone grocery shopping, but while he usually had no problems paying full attention to whatever she was saying, tonight it was different. He couldn't stop thinking about the bus ride. He had known before that he liked her, and that it was very different from how he liked Lockwood and Lucy - but it hadn't been clear to him just how much he liked her. And the way she had reacted to him - it gave him hope that maybe she felt something similar. He filled two cups with the water from the kettle and added the teabags. "Do you wanna sit in the library for a while?", he asked.

Y/N followed him to the library, where he sat down on the couch. She quickly contemplated if she should sit down next to him or if she should opt for the chair next to the couch. After what had happened on the bus, she was entirely unsure about how to act towards George. He smiled at her and she suddenly felt very nervous. Nonetheless, she decided to sit down on the couch, even though that meant they were now sitting very close next to each other. They were silent for a while, both sipping on their tea. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, it never was with them, but something was different than before.

Y/N finished her tea first and put the empty cup back onto the table. She was suddenly feeling very tired, but she liked the way she was sitting so close to George on the couch, and she didn't want this moment it end, even if she didn't exactly know what was between them right now. So instead, she leaned closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

George could feel his heartbeat quicken as Y/N leaned against him, and he had to force himself to finish his tea without choking on it. He quickly leaned forward to put his cup on the table as well, but the sudden movement had Y/N sit up straight again. "No no!", he said hastily, cursing himself silently for being so awkward in this moment. "Don't go away. That was nice." He almost bit his tongue. Was that too forward? But Y/N smiled shyly, in a way she had never smiled at him before. She resumed her position, and with his heart beating out of his chest, he slowly put his arm around her shoulder. A part of him was scared that this was too much, but instead of pulling away, she just cuddled closer to him and closed her eyes. "You are right, this is nice", she said quietly smiled as George leaned forward and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

thanks for reading, feedback is appreciated :)

request something

[mazzystar24]

Asking this under anon bc i don’t wanna get any backlash in my inbox lmao

but to start this off: i love oliver stark, and i am so appreciative of how important he views this storyline and the representation it provides

however

i am going to be very disappointed in him if we get through the next few episodes, and it becomes clear that they aren’t going to further develop buddie anymore. he has always been so careful and cautious when it comes to implying things in interviews/press stuff, but lately with this resurgence in his response to fandom interest with buddie (liking fanart, reposting it, talking openly about buddie in interviews, confirming things like buck thinking eddie was attractive, etc.) if they don’t go that route, it will honestly severely hurt me.

i have very mixed feelings about what is and isn’t “queerbaiting” (most of my friends would say i tend to not believe that it’s a thing, and to an extent i agree) but there are certain situations in which something does blatantly feel like baiting… to me this is one of those situations.

with both lou and edy still being around, as well as ryan’s sudden stint in pr jail, the fandom’s obsession w lou/tommy, and tim minear’s seeming interest in complying with fan-service… it’s hard to remain optimistic that they will actually give us buddie. the past two weeks have given me whiplash as a buddie fan and i am getting tired of the show using our desperation and love for this ship as a marketing tactic when they have no intention of going there (tim minear himself saying things like “i don’t like to plan endgame relationships” or “there are no plans for buddie at the moment”).

that is why the media’s sudden obsession with asking about buddie, as well as oliver’s willingness to interact with buddie content online combined with the constant flow from the set of things not going in the direction of buddie… it feels very intentional to drag us in. and if oliver is participating in that, then i am going to be very disappointed and hurt by that. he used to care so much about not getting our hopes up, but lately it feels like that isn’t the case anymore, and that getting our hopes up is their way if getting us to continue watching the show because they know that people will stop watching after having to watch years of buildup and (at times admittedly) roment subtext between them just for all of that to be completely retconned and them to say “no-homo, bro” in favor of a character/ship that came out of nowhere and has had no development.

obviously, i don’t blame os for the storyline- he’s not a writer, he doesn’t get to dictate what does or doesn’t happen. But he is the one getting all of the media attention, and using that to shine a spotlight on buddie when (if) he knows that buddie isn’t happening? it feels very icky to me and i really don’t want to have a reason to dislike him.

unfortunately it’s seeming more and more like a possibility each day as we get inundated with bts info that doesn’t bode well for us at all.

I’m afraid I’ll have to disagree with you anon sorry😭🫶

If buddie doesn’t go canon/ they don’t show they’re heading in that direction in the next few episodes, I still would not blame Oliver at ALL for his recent more openness about buddie

(Idk how familiar you are with me and if you are you’ll know this but if you’re not lemme clarify I use bulletpoints a lot but not to be curt or rude I just like breaking things into chunks🫡)

1. He has made sure to constantly clarify that he doesn’t know how things are gonna go and he has no control over things- i mean EVERY time he spoke about buddie

2. He’s also a fan of the show guys, yes yes he’s an actor and it has different implications I agree 100% but also if he’s choosing to ship his character or enjoy fan work that’s his prerogative and sure he can lurk privately like he has in the past but also he probably knows that implications aside fans who make that work will be ecstatic to see him actually liking the stuff

3. The man legit said he deleted social media at one point cos he didn’t wanna like or share stuff that’d accidentally give people false hope for buddie or bi Buck but he has silently agreed for years and he hated not being able to confirm bi buck till now

4. He’s been a HUGE advocate for us both on the buddie front and bi buck front and that deserves recognition

5. As you said there is a LOT of bucktommy love rn which is great and all but may draw focus away from buddie, if Oliver is intentionally trying to get buddie fans to keep going it could genuinely just to show that buddie fans are still aiming for buddie endgame and that they still make up a huge portion of the fandom

6. Writing is CONSTANTLY in progress on 911 so again buddie fans being more vocal and abc and writers seeing such positive responses to him so much as interacting with buddie posts or answering buddie questions give them a gauge of audience’s wants (granted Tim has stated it’s not a HUGE factor for him) and also keep in mind s8 is still in the books so even proposals of storylines may be in the talks rn

7. When he talks he is VERY careful about his words and is very well spoken on the topic like yes there have been more stuff we can read into and be optimistic about but you can tell that he in no way is saying specific things to bait people, when talking about existing buddie things he talks about HIS interpretation and uses lots of maybes and might’ve beens and I see how that could be and when he talks about future buddie he talks about being open to it talks about what he’d want from it and he talks about not having control or knowledge of it happening

So yeah he has done/said things that I absolutely think warrant optimism (I made a whole post about it) but if it doesn’t pan out that optimism should a- still be there b- not turn into blame for him

Okay now Oliver aside- the questions being asked about buddie and all the buddie promotions I would be side eyeing the higher ups for if it’s for nothing because yes all the articles and stuff are stuff being pre-approved by abc and the people higher up than cast members or the journalists but I would also keep in mind that s8 is still in the works so hope is not lost even if s7 isn’t what we hoped for because keep in mind we had only 10 eps to work with too

[campbyler]

i’m glad you said we could interpret what we like because i must be honest that i have been, but! only bc that’s how a situation like theirs is to me personally, and how i see byler- physical reactions feel natural with the love and eagerness attached 🥹 and i’ll be real i did laugh at when u posted the outline and had a note about “relax puritans” bc its so true. they were just kissing! people need not freak out about it getting heated bc of course they’ll do more kisses than pecks! about time byler fics let them be attracted. and it’s okay if I personally felt like there was more along the way after scene cuts, it didnt need to be implied, it is on me.

and the outline made me happy to see other adults in the fandom be mature, not bending for others like in the past. really. so happy that you guys write how you like and stand your ground, the attraction and intimacy is so palpable and the fic is perfect, it is just a bonus that their connection is so real that my brain finds it easy to see them approach a bit more in that alone time! I think the throwaway about a sock and packet when they first got to the isolation cabin clued me in haha.

love the fic. love how you write the boys. i definitely respect you keeping people comfortable (but hope in turn said people arent trying to police others). keep doing what you do! ^^

hi! this ask has been marinating in our inbox for a quick second because we immediately got flooded with ch08 asks but just know that when we saw this come in we nodded at the screen then at each other and then at the screen again. we know this topic has become kind of infamous in the byler fandom over the past year, and all three of us have tried to avoid engaging with it as much as possible, both here and on our personal blogs, and the last thing we wanted is for the main source of talk around our fic to be centered around discourse that is simply so so so draining and, honestly, super recycled and overdone at this point. from the beginning, our stance on the “kissing discourse” (???) specifically has been that it’s stupid LOL (coming from three adults who have each been inhabiting fandom spaces for a very long time) so given the premise of the fic, we definitely haven’t been afraid to lean into that aspect of their physical attraction and the response we’ve gotten from it has actually been wonderful! as for the rest… we’ve gotten asks from people who are grateful they haven’t explicitly gone further in the fic because that’s out of their comfort zone/more relatable to them as people on the ace spectrum, etc (which is fine, we know a lot of people can be uncomfortable with more mature content!) — and we’ve also gotten some lovely asks like this, saying that people have been interpreting it in their own way or “filling in the blanks” which is also totally fine! our official stance on the fic is that they haven’t done more than a looooot of making out, but referencing a couple of asks we got earlier, some readers (like you!) find it realistic to imagine more happening in that time, and for others, them doing exactly what we’ve written and nothing more is plenty realistic enough!

all that to say, we are super glad you’ve been enjoying the fic and also glad you found the line about the sock and the wrapper funny lol bc it was super intentional thanks so much for the support! one thing about us is that we are all highly motivated by spite so rest assured that we aren’t allowing ourselves to be Policed. this is just the vision we have for the fic and we’re happy that people are resonating with it in different ways :^)

[helianskies]

Office parties suck, please? I suffered through one last night, need someone else to do it as well. If you can have Spain or England or both in the story I'll be happy.

hi anon! i hope you have recovered from your endeavour - please have a cookie for bravery 🍪 - and pls enjoy this bc well,, suffering is temporary. Arthur is about to learn that :) (also shame on me for making this engspa but anon honey you did ask for one or both idiots and this is an engspa addiction zone i can't be stopped >:'v)

Mull

Office parties suck. There is no debate to be had on the matter, and Arthur knows his mind is not going to be changed by attending this year’s party. 

Last year, he’d been roped into it—bribed with free drinks and the potential to schmooze for a promotion he ended up losing to Greg of all people—and by the time he got home, the holiday spirit had been drained out of him like mulled wine from the keg. 

So this year, he is adamant. He is not going to the damn office party, no matter what!

…until, that is, a certain someone comes over to his desk in the morning as he’s buried in his emails, and catches him with his guard down.

“Are you coming along this evening?” someone asks.

Arthur hums to acknowledge there’s been an interaction, but his eyes are trying to make sense of the words he’s reading. Seriously, does he need to be in this email chain? He could do without the nonsense and plain stupidity, especially on a Friday!

“It’s my first since working here,” the other goes on, a muffle in his mind. “I hope it’s good…”

“It’ll be fine,” Arthur mumbles. His eyes are still on his screen. His brain is still deciphering paragraph-long sentences. 

“I was wondering, though… If you aren’t going with anyone else, would you… consider going with me? Just so I’m not the, uh, the weirdo going in alone, haha…”

His finger clicks the mouse, deleting the email. 

“Yeah, sure.”

“R— Really?”

Another three emails have since appeared in his inbox. Arthur wants to cry. 

“Mmh…”

“Wow… Thanks, Arthur!”

And at long last, he looks away from his computer, unsure what it is he’s being thanked for, only to find Antonio smiling at him. Antonio, one of few ‘friends’ in the office he has. Antonio, who’s been there for only about six months yet is universally adored. Antonio, who, at least in private, is probably adored by no one as much as he is adored by Arthur, who, as he continues to look at the other, realises what he has just done. 

He can’t even be mad about it. 

He can’t say ‘no’ now, because it would likely upset Antonio.

He can’t do anything, in fact, other than smile back at him and ask, “Shall I meet you there?” 

“I can pick you up,” Antonio offers, as his heart screams. “You aren’t far from me.”

And that is what happens, then, later that evening after the work day is over, the office is closed, and Arthur has had a chance to freshen himself up. 

He still can’t believe he’s doing this. He can’t believe, firstly, that he is going to the damn Christmas party again, but he also can’t believe that he’s that useless a human being he hasn’t even had the decency to tell Antonio since his unwitting agreement that, actually, he doesn’t want to go! He could have made an excuse! Something like, the cat’s ill, got to run to the vet, or maybe, suit shrunk in the wash and I don’t think going naked is wise so I’m out!

But no! He’s bottled it! And now he’s there, standing in a not-that-warm venue, dying over making small talk about his uneventful holidays-to-come, and longing for his bed. 

Somewhat luckily for him, after a few moments of further lamenting, his saviour appears with another glass of hot wine (it’s all the company thought to provide other than prosecco, and he just isn’t a bubbles man!). 

“Here,” Antonio says, passing over a glass. He stands next to Arthur as the blond takes a sip and savours the warmth it provides.

“Thanks,” Arthur replies.

“No worries,” Antonio nods. “I think it’s the least I can do for you, after dragging you out here. I’m starting to regret my choices…”

The Brit just can’t help but snort, humoured. “Office parties suck,” he remarks, to which Antonio hums in agreement.

“Remind me not to do this next year,” he says. “All this effort for cheap wine and stinky cheese!”

“Not your cup of tea?”

“Not my…?”

“Not your thing,” Arthur clarifies. “Not your idea of a good party.”

“Oh! No,” the brunet responds, shaking his head before taking a sip of his wine. Then he says, “My sort of party involves better music, more dancing, and more drinking. I would hazard to say that mulled wine is not really ‘my cup of tea’ either.”

“No? Is it not a bit like sangria?”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“Sorry…”

“Still,” Antonio says, “I’ll make it up to you.”

Arthur doesn’t want him to feel obliged or guilty; cheap wine and stinky cheese aside, he’s had a nice evening thanks to some shared laughter, some moaning, and some, well, cheap wine and stinky cheese. 

But in all seriousness, Antonio has been good company. Even if he would have liked to have stayed home, he… can’t deny he’s enjoyed the opportunity to get to spend time with Antonio away from the office. It’s been nice to just talk with him, without the pressure of it having to be work-related somehow, managers looming over them. It’s been nice to feel at ease, and more like themselves—more real—even if only slightly.

So Arthur tells him, “Don’t worry about it. The evening hasn’t been too unbearable.”

“Oh?” Antonio croons. “You think?”

“Yeah, well, you’re not unbearable.”

“Flattery! How kind,” the other jokes. “I’m still going to make it up to you. I feel responsible for your suffering.”

“What suffering?” Arthur remarks as he sips his wine.

“It’s like you said, no? Office parties suck?”

“Oh, yeah. For sure.” He lowers his glass. “They suck less with good company, though.”

Antonio stares at him for a moment. He can feel his gaze—can feel the warmth and nerves grow the longer it goes on. Arthur holds his cards close to his chest and says no more, his own eyes turning to the room, their colleagues, the small talk to come. 

But then, just out of the corner of his eye, he glimpses a smile. A lovely, soft, wine-humoured smile. 

That’s all Arthur needs to convince himself that… maybe not all office parties suck…

[ ficlet collection on ao3! ] [ prompt list here! ]

[dollfaceksj]

you are kinda reaching with some of these asks.

“why would you need a warning about something like that if you don’t get hurt easily anyway?”

the same way fics with tags work? ppl just want to know beforehand bcs some stories gradually shift in the later parts? and there is also nothing wrong with wanting to try something out of their usual comfort zone (in this case, reading a genre they don’t usually read) as long as they aren’t running their mouth about it.

while some asks are being annoying asf, there are also some who seem to genuinely enjoy your fic and just wanted to share that fact with you bcs it brought out a good/new reaction out of them.

you need to relax and realise that not everyone is trying to come for you.

yes… you literally just .. proved my point?

“the same way fics with tags work” exactly. the masterlist has warnings, you can find the tags there. why do i need to personally warn you about the same things i’ve already mentioned?

and like i also already said, i’ve gotten multiple anons who tell me they hate fuckboy fics and then go on about how jk makes them sick and it’s like you can totally have an opinion but why do you feel like i need to know about that? why do you feel the need to tell me ur hating the main thing about the fic? it’s clearly not gonna change. the tags are there. it’s a very popular fic trope and it’s very repetitive. you *know* how the story is gonna go one way or another

i’m very very grateful if people step out of their comfort zone with one of my fics, i’m not talking to ppl who have never read a fuckboy fic before and just now are becoming interested, thats cool, it’s flattering even

but telling me u actively avoid fuckboy fics for personal reasons but u like mine makes me feel pressured because why do you avoid the fics? the toxicity? personal reasons meaning itd be triggering for you? the angst? all of it is going to happen one way or another. and going out of your way to tell me this makes me worried that y’all are not gonna like what i put out

i quite literally started adding polls because i can’t decide on what direction i want the story to go in, so i wanna go with what the majority wants. the only thing i have a good view on is that it’s going to be just like any other typical toxic fuckboy fic filled with angst

i hope you realize y’all can only see the anons that i decide to answer. you don’t know what kind of asks are in my inbox so for you to tell me to relax when i’m literally speaking my mind on how i don’t feel like it’s necessary to tell me, the author, that you hate the type of story that im writing

i’m not talking about those who are enjoying my fics and stepping out of their comfort zone. i love reading the feedbacks, i love reading the long feedbacks, they’re my favorite even. i love reading these reactions

and yes, that includes genuine criticism but there’s no criticism in telling me you hate this genre of fics that i’m actively writing

[mymelody-sapphic]

saw your response to the one anon the other day and it really rubbed me the wrong way, so i’m telling you this as a butch lesbian & hoping that you actually care since you always claim to care about butches.

first and foremost, it’s weird as hell that you’re white and you’re trying to say that butch/femme labels are usamerican or whatever because they’re not. butchfemme culture is everywhere, especially in the global south since it’s a source of safety for hyper-marginalized lesbians.

using the term as a non-lesbian literally puts butches in danger because non-lesbians have no idea how to treat butches. and if you think you do, i’m telling you you don’t and i know that based on your response the other day. additionally, i saw a post of yours where you were talking about how you support les4les (another source of safety for lesbians) so i ask you this…how are butches supposed to find other lesbians to date if so many people who aren’t lesbians call themselves femmes now? after the absolute living hell that butches have gone through both historically and currently? you’re actively making it more difficult for us to find community by co-opting our terms. it’s disingenuous to claim otherwise at best and downright lesbophobic at worst.

as i've said before i'm always willing to listen and learn and since you took the time to write your views on these i'd like to reply to everything the best way i can. just to be clear this is just for the sake of dialogue bc what i'm about to say it's not to justify or excuse myself. i also want to be honest and tell you that me being interest in learning and correcting myself when i'm wrong doesn't mean i'll just accept everything anyone that comes to my inbox or dms have to say when it comes to this type of topics where there are a thousand ways to understand and approach the subject. but since you're the second person that has expressed their discomfort with me (a bisexual white woman) referring to myself as femme i think i should actually reflect and perhaps read even more about the issue, that will be when i come to my own conclusions and decisions (which obviously may or may not be correct).

for context this anon is referring to these posts

about using butch/femme terms about les4les relationships

about the first thing you say, i think you should just re-read what I actually wrote because i talk about the terms at all times, in fact at the end i say that other languages/countries have their own words to for femme and butch.

on the other response you talk about, i don't know what exact post made you think that i don't know how to treat butches, so i don't really know what gave you this idea but i don't doubt that at all since a bisexual i can't relate completely with lesbians whether they're butches, femmes, mascs, stud or none of that in the same way that i'm unable to relate to straight women. but honestly i don't get what part of me calling out lesbophobic attitudes that bi women have and understanding and supporting les4les can possibly make that less safe for them since i'm literally out of that and it was something aimed at those bisexual and not to lesbians.

now, answering your question: i don't now. speaking from myself i always (here and irl) make clear i'm not a lesbian and use sapphic instead when i don't use bi. i say I'm femme bc i don't know another way to identify myself and express who i am and how i feel but i don't want to make anyone feel like i'm fooling them or tricking them or make taking away safety from them and I really hope none has ever felt like that because of me. again, being butch/femme/masc/etc is not just for dating scenarios is also about self-identity i understand what you mean and where you're coming from and I guess i might be overstepping bc as a bisexual we're always in middle grounds when it comes to these things and what we can also claim. we're queer but we can also get the straight experience depending on who we are dating and the circles we are in the same way some lgbt people reject their community and adjust to a more normative life style. i'm mostly surrounded by queer people, to be more specific lesbians and is where i feel the safest and since they don't feel safe/comfortable with me saying i'm femme i thought i wasn't doing something that my be wrong but they don't speak for the whole community so I would like to hear other lesbians, other butches and others femmes about this.

lastly , i would like to say that although you may be right in some of the things you've said, i don't think it's fair some of the assumptions you've made based on literally the only 4 posts i've made that aren't about how i want to get railed bc it's not just that you have no idea who i am, my context, my relationship with the queer community or my relationships in general, it's that this is not even an account where i talk about this stuff making statements, i have simply reacted to post that have reminded me my own experiences or to very specific messages that people have sent me. but I also think you have the option to unfollow me or block me bc if you don't agree and everything I say doesn't sit right with you, even though i appreciate you taking your time to explain your views on everything.

[gracefullou]

i hope you don’t mind me sending this ask, but i saw you talking about louies insulting and saying horrible shit about louis for “supporting an abuser” and not signing the palestine letter. i went on twitter and it’s really bad. i’d expect it from la/rries who clearly only love ha/rry and see louis as nothing but an attachment to him, but louies??? solo louies??? his own fans??? i don’t know, as much as i may not agree with some of his actions/opinions i would never think of speaking about him in that way. it’s like these people aren’t even his fans. i may want him to speak up about the ongoing genocide, but as you said, in a sincere way, but the industry is run by zionists so i get why he can’t. as you said, it seems like they think they own louis, when that’s not right at all.

with liam there’s a level of loyalty and he’s just too good (he’s a leo moon through and through). him supporting liam doesn’t surprise me because he does that a lot. also, maya’s book hasn’t even come out yet, so i prefer not to jump into conclusions before it’s out. so yeah, the point is i can’t believe this behavior from his so called fans and it’s really frustrating to see. reminded me why i never go on twitter and why i prefer to stay on my corner of the fandom

sorry to rant in your inbox but you are very logical about all of this and i feel like you understand. hope you have a good day

My thoughts exactly! Honestly, i'm tired of his fans speaking in this weird and frankly offensive tone about him any chance they got. Like they never miss a beat. Never in my life have i seen a fandom calling out their fav for supporting an "abuser" just bc his bandmate's ex-gf posted about a book she wrote with a few trigger warnings. At least wait until the book is out and you can read it 😬. As far as the speaking on the genocide against Palestinians, i said what i think several times no matter how unpopular that opinion might be. Also, not to be that person but i honestly think it's time they stopped with the i'm so disappointed in him tweets every two seconds like sorry but if it means that much to you that he speaks up and it's something that you really can't get over (doubtful bc most of these people were talking for days about the SB and TS and her bf's kiss which btw i never see them calling her out and expressing their disappointement even though she's the biggest star in the world and can actually get away with a pro-Palestine statement and make an impact. Some were even excited and hoping for a zionists Usher and JB performance), just unstan and call it a day. It's not that hard. And i mean this sincerely, if this is a limit for you, just unstan him (and almost every other celebrity on the planet).

[mangoposts]

OKAY im finally alone so TW for anyone reading this, i will be mentioning rape & knives/scars.

i'll try to make this short but the summer before i went into 10th grade, i had hung out w this guy and i really did just wanna hang out and go for a drive, but he thought i wanted to hook up. i definitely did not because i was a virgin and never done anything with a guy at all. he was a senior and a lot bigger than me and forced me into having sex w him, i kept saying no and stop and take me home but he just kept getting angrier and eventually held a knife to my like pubic bone? pelvis? just down there idk. so i caved. i hated every second and cried but i stopped fighting. i haven't had sex since then, im 20 years old now and i haven't even been fingered by a guy, never given or received head, and never given a handjob. and im honestly really embarrassed about it and wanna have sex with someone SO BADLY but im scared.

the main reason i'm scared isn't because i'm scared i'll be forced into it again, although that is absolutely in the back of my mind. i'm completely fine now and over the situation, but it does worry me that i could get overwhelmed and the guy im with wouldn't wanna stop. but my bigger fear which im 100x more embarrassed of, is what a guy is gonna think when he sees my pussy. now hear me out bc i know that sounds weird😭 but all throughout high school i always heard guys make comments about how ugly this girls pussy is or how gross this girls is and it terrified me. but now i'm even more scared because of what that guy did to me, he literally cut into my skin and left scars. what is a guy gonna think when he sees that? how am i supposed to explain all this? i just i have a lot of questions and concerns but i'm a fucking 20 year old "virgin" if i can even call myself that, i've technically had sex but i didn't want it so idk if i even count that as a body. i just have been panicking over this for forever and have no idea what to do, if you have any advice at all i'd really appreciate it so so much

- 🌙

Oh baby :-(. Im so sorry this happened to you. You were really young and you didn’t deserve that whatsoever, if you can feel it im giving you a hug thru the phone. Im so so so sorry and i hope that man is dead in a ditch somewhere 🤍

On the other hand, i promise you you have nothing to worry about at all. Im telling you rn and i know it sounds so corny and lame and everybody always says this but its true, the right person is not going to judge you for anything and im so Fr when i say that. Trust when i was in high school guys would say all kinda stupid shit like that about girls in the school and it never bothered me because i knew there was at least one person out there who wouldn’t care about anything other people would talk shit about, and i was right 🤷🏻‍♀️ There’s so many people out there who would find u beautiful the way u are and just because some guys in the past thought in that immature goofy ass way doesn’t mean every guy will you know what i mean?

Babe, my only advice for you is to stay the way you are, hang out w ur frennies and the right person is gon come trust. It’ll come when you aren’t looking for it or worrying about it, when you least expect it to be honest. What you went through was horrible and it might be the worlds way of saying you gotta give yourself time before exploring that area of your life yanno. There’s NOTHINGGG wrong with being a virgin at any age let alone 20. You’re still young and you have ur whole life ahead of you. Don’t worry about this, when it happens it’s gonna be fine you’ll see it

Thank you so much for trusting me to be vulnerable with, im sorry if im treating you too delicately im just speaking thru the soul rn 😭 And again im sorry this happened to you. Even if i dont know u i love u a lot and im proud of you for moving past the situation despite how hard it might’ve been

Also im sorry for taking awhile to get back to you, i just scrolled through my inbox and finally found this

[actual-changeling]

hi!! i’d like to thank u for bringing attention to the whole penandinkprincess thing.

as someone who hasn’t experienced a lot of trauma and grew up in a household where it wasn’t very much talked about, sometimes reading fics and not even realizing they’re being harmful or straight up disrespectful is an easy thing to do. I kind of just blindly believed pen knew what she was doing, that she was portraying things accurately, and that the topics she was including in her fics were ones that were being used in a respectful and thoughtful manner. I didn’t realize, until I started seeing complaints and your posts about her writing, that she might’ve been doing something wrong. Which is probably a fault on my part, but hey I’m still learning.

I’m obligated to believe you, someone who’s been through actual traumatic experiences and probably knows what they’re talking about, over pen, who I’ve come to realize hasn’t really talked about the way they write and other people’s feelings on them other than “hey, don’t like don’t read.”

not only is her writing probably triggering to people, like you said, it’s also telling people like me who aren’t very educated on the matter the wrong information. Yes, people should definitely do their own research when it comes to serious topics, but wrongly portrayed writings of trauma, mental health, panic attacks, dissociation, etc. etc. can still easily be spread to other authors who aren’t as familiar with the right way to write things. They might see a popular author who a lot of people read and enjoy the writings of and latch onto the way they write certain things instead of searching it up themselves, causing those people’s fics to start showing stereotypes and misinformation, which could then spread to people who read those fics, and on it goes.

so I’d just like to thank you for helping me realize I need to do less blind trusting and more thinking on my own and researching lol :)) (although don’t worry too much, I was still doing research while I read pen’s fics, apparently just not enough to realize she might be wrong). I’m hoping you’ve got a lot of other people to stop supporting pen bc of the problematic things people are realizing abt her, or at least have them think twice before agreeing to everything she says.

anyway I don’t know if you’re sick of talking abt pen or the things she’s doing, and I’m sorry if I’m talking abt it while that’s the case, but I just wanted to thank u and I hope u have a good rest of ur day

Definitely not sick of talking about it if people still need a space to process! It's been a rough few days and weeks and we all deserve some time to just vent and breathe.

Thank you for sharing your side of things, it is definitely interesting to hear about! Not realizing something is harmful until you learn/someone tells you is perfectly fine and normal, and I'm glad that you walked away from it more educated <3 That's really what makes the difference, listening to people instead of trying to play it off or ignoring it. If you have any questions my inbox and dms are open!

I hope the rest of your day is great, too!!

[camplease]

wrt the twincest post, i think the issue comes not from the possible natures of the relationship itself, but the way people in general can boil complex relationships down to Purely being about one thing? like i don’t think adding a weird psychosexual layer to analysis of a relationship inherently makes it less interesting, but i do think dumbing a relationship down to Just Weird Psychosexual Things does it a disservice, if that makes sense? i wouldn’t say i Ship the tridentarii in like a cute normal way (that does squick me out personally) but like they have some weird shit going on and i think it can be interesting to poke at all the different possible angles, some of which include weird psychosexual energy. anyways sorry for rambling in ur inbox and i hope this didn’t come off as like aggressive in any way

hey anon! sorry this took me a few days. thank you for the thoughtful ask - you’ve nothing at all to apologize for! i actually appreciate being able to participate in this kind of nuanced discussion about the characters i’m insane about and thinking about on my own constantly anyway. their sisterhood is genuinely one of the top 5 things that fucking wreck me about this series and i just have so many feeling about them and. well. prepare yourself this is about to be wayyyy too long and i am so sorry lmao

one thing i wanna start with even though i’m sure it was a minor point is, i get you about not shipping them in a cutesy romantic way or anything. i haven’t personally seen that at all actually (not to say it doesn’t exist, but if it does, it seems to be much more on the fringes), so that’s not my issue at all

but moving on to the broader points you made, i agree with a lot of what you’re saying. i fully agree that complex relationships (honestly just relationships period) are very rarely purely one thing. i appreciate you pointing that out since i realize i didn’t say that in my post

i understand the distinction you’re making between their relationship being viewed as purely a weird psychosexual thing vs that just being an element of it, and i think that’s a valid take. but for me personally, i do find it less interesting, even if it’s just an element of it, bc i feel like fiction media, especially fantasy since the 00s, has leaned Far too heavily on using that as a shortcut to make things Extra weird and creepy and fucked up and i just wanna see a lot more things that aren’t that and to the exclusion of that tbh. like it just feels cliche to me at this point, and i feel like even in cases where it doesn’t exist to the exclusion of other elements of the characters’ dynamic, it can overshadow those other elements

in my observation, that’s what’s been happening within the tlt fandom. so much of their unhealthiness and genuinely really fascinating codependent toxic dynamic doesn’t get talked about or explored in depth and instead it just seems to keep getting boiled down to the spectacle of They’re Twin Sisters And They’re Definitely Fucking. which isn’t shade to anyone who just wants to talk about that! i’m so worried any of my commentary will come across that way bc i genuinely do not feel that way

at the end of the day, i’m honestly not holding anything against the people who view their relationship that way, or those who feel that’s what’s being portrayed in the text, or even those who are most fixated on that, and i honestly feel excited that others are as invested in these 2 freaks as i am. i feel like a lot of the differing perspectives and interpretations about what exactly is going on with them are understandable to some extent. the main thing that bothers me are the posts that are like “oh if you don’t see that this is obviously canonical as of nona you’re delusional” bc it’s very much open to interpretation still, and i know there are others, aside from myself, who didn’t even consider that there was incestuous stuff happening before we saw people saying that in the fandom

and don’t get me wrong, if this turns out to be confirmed as canon in alecto, i will certainly not hate the series or think any less of it or muir’s writing or stop finding the tridentarii compelling!

[moodywyrm]

dude literally !! i had written a hc of a character i like x fem!reader , emphasis on the FEM. and they replied saying 'dude why is reader always in a dress in these.' umm ,,, because ,,, its ,, fem reader ? and ,, a lot of fem presenting people,, wear dresses ? and cus thats how i chose to write it ? pls just leave if you dont like it , no need to put down a writer because u dont like something !!:( its okay tho , i ended up blocking them. the funny thing is ,, they were also a writer ? a tlou one none the less ? who also wrote fem reader ?? in dresses ?? it confused me a lot ,, but meh people will be people i guess.

also,, hello ?? biphobia ?? ON A BI PERSONS PAGE ?? girl wtf are these people on,, pls just keep your mouth shut if you have nothing to say !! nobody needs that kind of negativity, nor does anyone deserve it . last time i checked , there is nothing wrong with- hear me out rn- liking more then one gender ! i know , i know , mind blowing stuff man. its so hard to comprehend that my 12 year old sister gets it ,, woah. but fr where are some peoples human decency tf ?

ON THE PLUS SIDE , i decided to wear another cute fit today , i got a new pink jacket and omgogmhdjskwhxjwh its so cute ?? its like ,, baby pink with like a turtle neck collar and THE ZIPPER IS A HEART ??? HELLO ??? screaming rn. literally screaming.

how was ur day tho ?? if anyone made it bad send them my way , we can trade shitty people like playing cards through a paper shredder !

-🧸

wtf that’s so weird??? like I get talking about inclusivity with ur reader, but dresses aren’t an inherently alienating thing??? and if ur specifying it’s a fem reader, why would a dress ever be like??? a point of contention??? ppl are so weird I hope their pillows are unbearably warm n they wake up sweaty 🙄

and no it was so weird!!! it’s was a couple days ago so it’s probably been drowned out on my page by Abby 💕 but it’s like??? I make it sooo clear I am bisexual??? I made a comment about wanting a masc girl (bc I like masc girls?) and they brought some bullshit biphobia into my inbox like??? Pls leave???

n that fit sounds so cute!!!! A heart zipper??? Ah!! I also wore a cute fit, if if kinda simple. I wore my docs 💕💕 with the pink ribbon 💕💕, fishnets, shorts, n a grey sweatshirt big enough to almost cover my shorts. did see ppl staring at my leggies though which was weird,,,,

and my day was kinda weird???? spent like 3 hours in the library studying, no meet cutes and one really weird encounter with a girl I’d liked on hinge like months ago, but overall it was an ok day!! plus now I’m listening to laufey n waiting for her new song to drop 💕💕

[mazzystar24]

hi again! i’m the anon who sent you the ask about getting harassed in my inbox— i just wanted to say thank you for giving such a long and well thought out reply… it’s people like you in this fandom that really remind me there are good people out there who still care about preserving a mostly positive atmosphere, and i wish more people did the same.

i’ve been able to step back and breathe and calm down from it, and you’re right i have to just ignore the haters bc at the end of the day they’re hiding behind an anon ask (….well i am too but that’s because i don’t want to get more hate but i digress).

i just miss the days when the fandom were super friendly and positive towards each other and we all seemingly wanted the same things but then one day it just snapped and suddenly it’s an all out war… it’s hard to see blogs that i used to love following turning into something else that just perpetuates negativity… and like yeah i have my own feelings on bucktommy but i intentionally don’t tag it as such so as to not yuck someone else’s yum… but it feels like we aren’t getting that same treatment sometimes.

anyway, all this to say thank you for listening to my venting… again i apologize for dumping all of that on you but i was having a slight panic attack over an ask i got last night and needed to tell someone and you were right there hahaha!

i really appreciated reading your thoughts and kind words and suggestions on how to better manage what kind of asks i receive… i’ve also seen other blogs talking about their own ways of dealing with hate and have gotten a few ideas from them too!

i hope you have a fabulous day 🩵🩵🩵

Hi again anon!!

Aww you’re so welcome and I’m genuinely happy to help

I’m so glad you seem to be feeling better and I totally understand the frustration and the sadness of not getting to just enjoy your little serotonin boost via a comfort show or fandom, just because people are actively trying to be rude

I’m happy to listen and I’m glad you felt comfortable to send an ask like that to let out some of that stress and calm down a little bit

Hope the suggestions help!!

Thank you and I hope you have a fabulous day too🫡🫶🫶