#i just love seeing stuff that reminds me of me. bc im awesome.

[soupydoobydoo]

i love watching movies about queer taiwanese people i love you my family

[cupiohearts]

CANT CATCH ME NOW ?! - leaving them behind

they see you everywhere. james, jonggun, joongoo. they find bits and pieces of you lying around in their pockets, their houses and memories. it depends on which one it is which scene they see you in.

DG VER. gun ver. goo ver.

for james, he sees the sight of you in the crowd when he first started as an idol. he catches himself hoping for a glimpse of you in crowds as he did before. maybe you just show up at one of his concerts one day. he knows its a childish hope to think you'll come back. especially not when theyve all pushed you out of their lives.

but was it such a hopeless thought to have? a particulary fond memory of seeing you in the front row at barricade. hopping down and singing his lyrics to your face. fans thought you were just a really lucky person to catch the attention of DG, minimizing it to a harmless fan interaction moment just for the concert.

he loved the way your eyes twinkled underneath the stage light illuminating your face in a mesmerizing glow. he recalled the heartbreak when they were all gathered up at your apartment.

it had become a haunting memory of seeing the house abandoned. the only thing left was a small ragged old scarf you insisted on keeping

"yknow! one day for my super awesome snowman! ive been waiting for winter to come in korea so snow is finally here!" you tell him with a giddy grin at the mall. your loose baby strands around your face and your face bare with nothing on it standing out to him.

you always mentioned you wanted to experience the snow. you said you didnt have it where you were from. far too sunny for that you said.

"you wont have to wait long. it get cold fast in korea" he tells you. chuckling as you hold the scarf in your hand while picking out more winter items.

how unfortunate. it was snowing right now. he wondered where youve gone. maybe youve died off, its better for him that way. that way he wont have to think about whether or not youve settled down yet. maybe gone back to your old country or somehwere new.

maybe youre out on a date somewhere, possibly 6 feet down in a ditch. his mind wanders when it comes to you.

reading the note you left behind for him. written in a sparkly pen you always used.

"why do you have so many pens and only use one?!" he questions you with a raised eyebrow. his long fingers unzipping your pencil pouch and looking through all the pens you own.

"you cant expect me to use all of them. plus my papers look sparkly this way and its cute. the design is cute and i like how it writes!" you chirp at him. turning behind you and hitting his forehead with your pen. "red hair... i like you with your curly red hair. reminds me of someone i used to know" you tell him.

curling his hair around your pen before dropping it when you hear the teacher say your name and turning back to the board. your hair whipping him in the face "im innocent!" you joke with your hands raised causing the class to laugh.

you tell him youre sorry in the note. that you couldnt handle it anymore.

you tell him everything but telling him nothing at the same time. telling him of how you felt like everyone else was moving while you were stuck in the present. everyone was special and you were not.

he let the paper drop down after skimming the rest of its contents. he wished to just crumple it up and tossed it away. he couldn't.

he knew he was being selfish wanting you back when youve clearly stated in the note this was out of youre pure will, leaving them behind. he wouldve cried. he wouldve cried if he was james lee.

all he could do was pick it back up and meet back with gun, and goo.

it was gonna all be in one set page but i found that it was longer than most of my other projects if i actually completed this whole

so i broke it up

like the friend group

ha

i caught up with lookism

i like the new pretty boys :3

ALSO QLSO I HAD AN ENTIRLY SEPRATE DOCUMENT FROM THIS AND I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED MY UNFINISHED STUFF BC I ACCIDETNALY POSTED IT INSTEAD OF COICKING DRAFT SO I HAD TO COPY AND PASTE ALL OF THIS PARAGRAPH BY PARAGRAPH TO THIS PAGE THINGY BC IM ON THE PHONE TYPING ALL PF US THIS SO A+ FOR WFFORT

did not proof read (bc im insecure abt my works 😔🤞)

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

Is your fic of Sun and Moon x maintenance bot reader still in the works? I fell in love with it so hard after seeing some art float around tumbler but I'm not sure if I should add it to my list as AO3 says it was last updated in December 😅 Even if it isn't it was absolutely amazing and I look forward to seeing some of your other work! You're doing an awesome job!

THE READERBOT FIC IS CURRENTLY STILL BEING WRITTEN!!! i've been working on it specifically lately bc of the influx of attention reminding me exists and partly to ignore other stuff going on in my life skjdfjsdhf im sorry its been on hold for so long

have a snippet!:

The silence was deafening. No, not quite silence- his fans were in high gear, just like yours were. You straightened your posture, joints stiff, and ducked your head, nodding your thanks.  Even if he terrified you, you didn’t want to be rude to the Naptime Attendant. You… weren’t entirely sure why. He seemed relieved- was he reassured by your awkwardness? Well, you thought miserably, that was one thing you did seem to have in common, at least. You were both awkward. That made this even more painful, somehow.

[primoppang]

hi. hi. here to request. a little seungmin fluff where we are kind of lonely and sad and he reminds us that he’s always there : )

HI HONEY TY FOR BEING MY FIRST EVER REQUEST <3333 ily and seungie so I got u bby ◡̈ mwah ur the best ( ˘ ³˘)♡

warning: swearing is inevitable with me sorry ¯\_(˶′◡‵˶)_/¯, fluff, like gross amounts of it, seungmin says "this is so gay but..." because he cringes at showing affection but refuses to let you forget how he feels about you fr, he's a tsundere ok? ok. he licks your face(?) , one (1) kiss, he joking threatens to fight you, and mentions of self doubt and anxiety, angst if you blink but I think it's mostly fluffy... anyways! lmk if I missed anything!!!

WC: a little under 500 :D

AN: this is the first drabble I've ever done in bullet point format so just pls lmk how it goes??? Im super nervous I hope it's at least an easy read :(

so the first time he realizes that you're feeling lonely he slaps himself internally because how DARE he make you feel that way, but he's not home rn and can't show you physically so he comes up with a Plan™️

you're literally the light of his life

so he just >:(

but not at u

he just wants to make you feel happy and loved and safe

so he starts brainstorming

but he's naturally a menace

so when you're texting with him while he's working and you're being kinda short

because yk

u just feel :(

he just sighs and texts back

"look, please don't feel sad. I know this is pretty fucking gay but I love you."

which makes u giggle

because that's YOUR seungie that YOU know and love so much

<3

BUT whenever he's able to be physically with you and he can just feel your self doubt and anxiety creeping in and trying to swallow you, he once again uses his braincell.

so he just grabs ur hand

and leads u out of ur bed and to the living room

sits u down

and starts running around ur shared apartment grabbing every blanket and pillow that exists within the space

and I mean

E V E R Y. S I N G L E. O N E.

puppy zoomies moment hehe

and don't even think about trying to question him

he'll just say "shut up and wait while I set up a big ass fort for us to cuddle in, ok?? I love you but I wanna make u SEE THAT."

which u smile at

because him telling u to shut up

but then explaining why

and then also watching him move furniture and start building the fort, you tear up with happy tears

because???

:(

he's the sweetest and u love him so much

but when he hears u sniffle

he turns on Extra Puppy Mode™️

pops out from under some blankets and tackles you into the couch and holds your face

wiping ur tears

maybe even licked one because he's a freak and wanted to get a reaction

which u just squealed at bc wtf sir

but then he realizes

oh ur crying because ur so touched by this whole thing that he's doing

!!!

"... you dummy. stop crying... we gotta get snacks and stuff for our super awesome fort yk??? and you won't be able to see if you're cryi—"

you cut him off by giving him a little kiss on his pouty lips

as a silent thank you :(

which he realizes that oops maybe he got too serious and overwhelming

but you reassured him that you're just so glad to have him as your partner and best friend in one :(

"please just remember that I do love you, and I'm always here even if that brain of yours tells you otherwise, ok? or I'll have to fight you... affectionately."

and then he proceeds to smother you in kisses and cuddles :(

[totallytrucked]

ok my rambling thoughts

first of all. moritz was absolutely incredible. he was a FRESHMAN and he was so fucking good i literally cried. his don't do sadness?? AMAZING. He reminded me so much of jgj too i was in love. lets hang out.

melchior was kind of weird, his voice wasn't so strong but he did make some really fun acting choices. i kind of felt like the guy they had playing otto should have played melchior bc his voice was more interesting but idk i did not cast the production.

wendla was awesome! she had some really good moments especially during whispering and when she was talking to melchior. loved her. her voice was also beautiful!

HANSCHEN i loved hanschen sorry the actress redeemed herself she slayed so hard. the vineyard scene was so touching and beautiful and i cried. also hanschen and ernst went off hand in hand during left behind.... nice detaul

martha's voice was absolutely amazing and the dark i know well was awesome. they staged it really well and it ended with this huge sound that was so like dread-inducing.

also getting to see bitch of living and totally fucked live for the first time i almost exploded. i literally almost died. it was so crazy. they all flipped off the teachers during the first blaj blah blah like mY GODDD and the LIGHTING and the SET WAS INCREDIBLEEEEEEE WWEKJFHLKJREHFKEJRHg so yeah.

ok i didn't like the girls costumes very much they were kind of weird and not period accurate AND wendla was not wearing blue which i feel like is kind of a sin but whatever. they wore stuff that i feel like i see people wearing to class but with like a kind of german skirt and i just feel like there was some wasted potential. but that is coming from someone who has designed one million spring awakening costumes.

there was NO GUITAR!!! THEY PLAYED ALL THE GUITAR RIFFS ON THE PIANO???? and my friend was like omg this musical is so rockin and i said wait for the guitar riff in totally fucked its balls crazy and then it was on a PIANO. reprehensible. its a ROCK MUSICAL.

the choreograprhy was kind of weird sometimes, especially during mirror blue night, but i LOVED the end of bitch and touch me. like exactly what i (esteemed theater director gene totallytrucked) would have done.

overall it was literally incredible. i love this musical so much and getting to see it live was amazing and so emotional and so beautiful and moving and exciting and incredible and awesome and im running out of positive words but just know. i loved it so much. i am so happy. i will be listening to nothing but spring awakening for the next year.

i will probs post pictures if i can find some! support college theater <3

[swordsmans]

ok so im gonna talk very vaguely about the opla im not including spoilers but. warning for that i guess. anyway while watching through the episodes and seeing hiw much zoro and nami got to interact i was just so heavily reminded of ur fic the sea makes bones of bodies and how you characterize the two there. (btw i still have not read the second chapter im saving it for when i can give it my full undivided attention bc its very important that i enjoy your writing in full no distractions. so apologies for lack of word from me about that but i assure my paragraphs long comment is coming) ANYWAY like the way u write zoro and nami in that fic and their relationship just struck such a chord with me because they are similar in their struggles and loss but they are so stubborn about them and they understand each other but they wont ask or press . they can just be with each other. and thats kind of what it felt like in the opla too which i absolutely fucking adored oh my god. seeing the nami/zoro relationship be developed like that where they got their own scenes together made me so happy. maybe im sounding insane but i couldnt help but draw a parallel between the two it was rly awesome to watch ok peace and love

loffffiiiiii oh my god THANK YOU SOO MUCHH!!!!!! AAA!! <3 <3 <3 first of all do nAWT apologize omg i am so glad youve enjoyed what youve read so far and it makes me so happy that you taken the time to read the first half the fic!!! AAA!!! im really delighted that you liked the way i wrote nami and zoro's relationship (they mean sooo much to meeeee) and i cant believe opla made you think of me and my stuff that is such, such, such a huge compliment and im!!!! screams!!! thank you!!

i have been absolutely loving the development of zoro and nami's companionship/relationship in opla so far (im still not caught up kahjsdf) and all of their scenes have been like serotonin straight to my brain... they feel so grounded (or as grounded as one piece can be hehe) and i am so excited to keep watching because the way the romance dawn trio/the various friendships and relationships within the trio is portrayed in this... aaaaa!!! it is everything ive ever wanted!!! im glad you enjoyed that element as well!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! AGAIN!!!! AAAHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

[puhpandas]

fav areas of the plex (bc i think they would be cool to visit)

montys golf course. i dont care much for golf itself but the decorations + theme just seem so fun PLUS theres an entire ride above ur head. like thats epic. and theres a little snack bar with chairs… def a nice hang out spot and underrated imo

cupcake sweet shop/bakery/whatever it was is a neat little area, kinda out of the way of everything else. probably much quieter than the main area, and theres treats. i can def imagine them having those candy apples w/ marshmallow ears and decor to mimic the band members. or themed fudge bars.

west arcade 100% one of the top areas to visit. definitely highlighted on the brochure. theres a DJ, karaoke rooms, and thats on top of the already insane layout of the place + yknow, actually being an arcade. as a kid i wouldve been lost in there for hours.

the atrium itself is honestly pretty epic too. the fact that you can see the stage from anywhere in the room, i know for a fact i’d be watching from the third floor balcony. i also know that those food counters under the third floor would be expensive as hell. showtimes are likely scheduled for once every 1-2 hours, depends how long they are, but you know people would already be waiting around on the main floor area much much earlier to get front row views.

the daycare theatre kinda reminds me of a nightcare program i was in when i was younger. i imagine they would have scheduled times they’d take the kids over to the theatre to watch a movie/performance on the stage. im guessing that area beneath the theatre is like, the actors’ area? thats what it looks like.

ok lot of that is my own hc about functions of the plex and little details but i do really like to think about that sort of stuff hfjf sorry lol

dude dont apologize i love talking about the plex. my personal favorite areas are bonnie bowl, the dance-cade/faz-cade, el chips and the superstar-cade, area around the daycare with the party rooms, and of course the atrium is so awesome

(theres definitely more but off the top of my head those for sure)

[nickmitchell]

hey I find some second creations about chaleigh are similar and theyr all extremely adorable

like, Chuck don't have a girlfriend in his hole life before encountered Ray. He is a total virgin, which without doubt just like the fact that hes an asshole. But bcsof the competitiveness and bad temper, their first kiss and first sex are all raised by Chuck.

Chuck is very fond of sweet but due to the kaiju war he never found this hobby until that suicide battle end. Ray always reminds Chuck that too much sugar will get him fat but Chuck never listening to him.

Ray doesn't love sweet but he has a bad habit which is lie-in (taught by Yancy), he always stuck on bed no matter weekday or weekend. Chuck hates that bcs Chuck has a very healthy and regular schedule which trained by Jaeger army these years so he never get used to Rays lie-in stuff.

Ray always get some candy in his pocket to satisfy Chucks greedy taste. Ray knews Chuck shouldn't eat too much sugar but this Australian bastard is too fucking cute,especially when he begging him to get some sweet, Ray can't resist.

Oh and herc is very very unpleasant about his son is dating with *that American Asshole*, may be he even punched Rays face once before. But eventually herc gets used to it bcs he found Chuck is so happy when he gets along with Ray. So be it. (Our daddy is sooooooo poor hahahahaha)

And of course Ray is Chucks icon when Australian was a teenager, but after Ray run away and hided at Alaska to built the kaiju wall, Chuck began to hate him. (Very comprehensible right? He still love Ray anyway :)))

btw Ray is just absolutely a nicknameeeeeeeeee

also, official settings show that chaleigh have age difference of 5 years old (Ray is 26 and Chuck is 21) , Chuck is shorter than Ray (Ray is 185cm and Chuck is 183cm) , so they are born to be couple!!!! i usually saw some soulmates and perfect match au at fictions, i think this is a completely wonderful explaination about them.

Rays birthday is 11.21, this is winter at USA which hint Rays clam nature and clear mind. But November is summer at Australia, may be this means *Ray hates everyone but Chuck*???? (You guys know official settings said Ray loves humanity but hates ppl right?)

Chucks birthday 8.14(same day as mine awwwwww), August is a hot month in the Northern Hemisphere, which hint Chucks hot-temper and touchy. But we don't know who he is at the past, may be he is a kid lack of love so he shows sharp side to the outside world, inside, he is just a sensitive and fragile little boy. His mothers death is a huge hit for him. He needs someone to help him and love him.(Ray is the one :33333)

i love see them fight with each other, both physical and verbal. Chuck called ray OLD MAN or JERK, Ray called Chuck KID or ASSHOLE. They always push away the other part but eventually they found they both love the other side.

said too much. Im very bad at English please forgive me, i just wanto say thanks for chaleigh bring motivation and happiness to my life, and thanks for you guys awesome fiction i will love these works forever🥺thanks anyway💓💓💓

in the end, for raleigh and chuck, could you PLEASSSSSE get married okay🥺😭😭

[carpisuns]

hello! i saw your tags on that ''if you would be so kind as to reblog this if you feel insecure about your writing skills'' post, and i just wanted to say that i love your writing SO much!!! like.. all of your fics that ive read are so good!!!!!!!! whether youre aiming for a more silly, goofy vibe or heart-shattering angst you do it so well and im amazed at your talent!

''tell me something i dont know'' is one of my all time favourite fics and i remember how much i enjoyed reading it (and crying my eyes out at 2 am adjahsf), and ''where roses bloom'' absolutely broke my heart in the best way possible!! And i loved your collab fic with botherkupo, ''two idiots and a hamster'' SO much, i seriously had to try very hard not to laugh ahdjskdhf. OH and im not in the toh fandom, but i did read ''The Death-Defying Flirting Methods of Captain Willow Park'' and i really really enjoyed it!! like i said, you write both angst, humor and romance so well and your writing is such a beautiful mix of everything!

Youre one of my fav writers on here, and i think that no matter what your goals are for writing, they definetely leave a big impact on your readers- your fics have made me laugh, cry and quite frankly im obsessed with them! I know insecurities dont simply Vanish from one ask lol, but i hope you know how much you and your fics (AND your art and just. in general youre such a nice person) mean to me, and all your other readers! <3333333

I kept this in my inbox for a bit bc it’s just so kind and I didn’t know how to respond 🥺 and then I started answering but didn’t finished and saved it in my drafts and forgot SHSJSK anyway. Thank you so so much!!!!

i reblogged that post kind of in solidarity with other writers cause i know insecurity is something everyone deals with. it’s weird because I feel like at all times I’m simultaneously confident and insecure about my writing lol. I have enough experience/training that I know I can like put together sentences and paragraphs lol but I still fret over pacing and style and characterization and stuff like that a lot. the insecurities make me feel kind of silly bc I feel like at this point i should be over them!!! but I can’t help worrying about how my work will be received by the audience. i am always at least a little nervous to post something new, and sometimes I am very nervous! Cause I just don’t know if it’s gonna land the way I intended.

And the most frustrating part for me is when I read something REALLY good and sometimes feel like pouty and jealous I guess lol going “ugh I could never write like that! I should just give up!” I feel like such a baby!! but I get over it quickly and I’m sure I’m not the only one who falls victim to Pouty Little Binch syndrome. (I mean I hope I’m not the only one or that would be extra pitiful 😂)

Anyway it helps me to remind myself that it’s a good thing that I don’t write the same way my fav writers write! we all have our own ways of thinking and expressing ourselves, and even when we take inspiration from someone else, the Us-ness of our work is always gonna come through. If that makes sense. like if my fav writer is So-and-So, it’s really awesome and cool to enjoy the So-and-So-ness of their work and break down why I enjoy it so much and even incorporate some So-and-So-type flavors in my own writing, but at the end of the day my writing will always be full of carpisuns-ness and that’s cool too! I just think as creators we are so close to our own work and we’re so in the weeds about it that we don’t get a clear view of it like a reader does when they’re coming to it fresh, and that makes us sometimes judge it unkindly. More often than not, your work is better than you think it is. Sometimes when a creator I admire feels down about their work I just wish I could let them borrow my eyes and see it how I see it, because it’s really amazing and makes me feel so much!!

Anyway, I probably got off topic lol but I just wanted to shout out to all the writers who are feeling down about their work. You are doing amazing sweetie!! Better than you think. Dont stop writing.

this is seriously such a kind message and it means so much to me that you would take the time out of your day to write this! 🥺💜 people like you who go out of their way to make others feel good are such a treasure. Im glad you enjoyed those fics!! And that u even read one of my toh fics when you’re not in the fandom? aaaa I’m honored! Blowing u kisses

[angelofdykeness]

tbh im a recovering prude so i need some outside perspective on this. IMO lewd content can be nice but sometimes I wish there was, like, a more formal subtag system. cuz like. I want a place where i can talk about Blue Archive without drowning in the tide. cuz there's things i am Extremely Normal™ about. like how Neru jumped off a skyscraper to fight an invincible mech and almost splatted completely but got back up and kept fighting until she was completely numb and broken but victorious cuz if she didnt her friend would die. trouble is there's not really a good place that i can find to have a public discussion on that. sure, technically Reddit exists. but. reddit. yeahhhhhhhhhhhh. and Discord is only half public. Also this trend of replacing forums with Discord is nasty. tl;dr i want to talk about Blue Archive but h.

i mean first and foremost lemme just get this out of the way i am extremely not fond of terms like prude, anti and ESPECIALLY not shit like "puritan" like jesus christ what is wrong with you people. im pretty sure you were using it for yourself at least somewhat facetiously which is fine it's also far from the worst term to use it just reminded me to say something

but i mean honestly i think tumblr is a pretty nice place for it ?? for one people at least aren't ultra fucking weirdos about BA here like they are on twt (bc all the sobposters for some reason still avoid tumblr like the plague idk why but i pray to god it stays that way) and the BA tag is mostly going to be fanart but also a nice place to just talk about the series. that's what i do for stuff like bocchi and hsl

i kinda get what you mean but after ten years in the absolute hellspace that is the X formerly known as twitter even just having this very basic tagging system back feels awesome to me

the best advice i can give is to just start writing about the stuff you love and post it here. even if no one sees it it will at least be there for you to read over and maybe even share with your friends like Look guys at how normal i am

[freakurodani]

you know it deserves its own post.

i think fandom is a form of play! that thing that all animals love to do! like i know young kids use play as a way to process things they are learning, going through, stuff like that

which is what i know a lotta ppl use fandom for!! idk so much of like being on tumblr reminds me, personally, of being on the school yard during recess and roleplaying warrior cats or pokemon w my friends, the discussions have developed (thankfully lol) but its still the same joy as me talking about why fireheart and sandstorm are really awesome together and i think it would be cool if like, they fought a pack of dogs and fireheart got hurt and oof ow u have to take care of me now sandstorm pls im bleeding out you have to get cobwebs ough my guts, my guts are everywhere

to now where im like hehe what if two characters that seemed to not get a long at all had this deep understanding of each other bc at their cores they were the same, and even if they acted like they hated each other, their trust was so undeniable and so true that nothing could break it bc they ALREADY see the worst parts of each other so their isnt any pretense

idk those are just some examples, we are all doing parallel play on here and thats my take

[smallbirdbigcoat]

hi!! im yr srs santa ❄️, not sure if my last message went thru so im attempting 2 attach it again! hope u hade a good christmas 🍻 this was fun! i havent heard that lemon demon album so ill have to check it out, thanks!! omg that is so cool!! thats so literally sick id love to see yr favorite page or pages. i journal too mines mostly articles & pictures i cut from magazines n poems it’s literally so fun n i did notice my mental health getting better as i did it too LOL i would say my main hobby either “crate digging” on spotify or playing guitar. probably guitar cuz i do that a ton LOL but i also love finding rlly awesome music thats not really well known cuz it honestly doesnt take too much work just some time. abt maybe two or 3 weeks ago i found this band called speed glue & shinki & they’re fantastic!! i also write poetry frequently … i like to keep busy LOL 2day i bring you a song ive been listening to on repeat! https://open.spotify.com/track/3vTehy2tTrXyEeOieYFEAd

hello!!!! it was rly fun! hope u had a good christmas as well :)

here r some of my fave pictures from my journal:

this is a drawing i did of a statue of circe that’s at the art gallery in melbourne and i was very proud of it

here’s a little self portrait i did bc i rly liked the outfit i had on at the time

these r some more little doodles i have done in sketchbooks and pasted them in that i’m happy w :) feat phoebe bridgers + bruce springsteen lyrics

and some cool stuff that i’ve found or been given, some little affirmation things someone gave me at a crystal shop, a handwritten receipt from a second hand shop and an actual physical ticket from a museum.

(i hope this is formatted correctly when i post it bc i’m doing it on mobile and the images keep moving all over the place lmao)

i’d love to be able to find cool underground music on spotify but i’ve not rly been that successful in the past! tell me your secrets!! i do watch a lot of rage which is an Australian music video program that showcases a lot of indie and alternative artists as well as a lot of local australian bands so i’ve gotten a lot of cool music from there. jenny destroys records by billiam, lexapro by voiid and end of the line by civic are some songs i’ve been listening to a lot recently bc of rage if u r interested.

applause is rly cool!! it reminds me of a song that could be playing in a fight scene of a movie, like a song that you’d wanna smash things up to. i like it

[dear-tumby]

just got out of a manic episode lol

yeah so im depressed now, no longer depresion haha funnys more like depresion no hahas and im pretty sure im scaring off my boyfriend so yeah, he stopped talking/hanging out with me when i was being honest about my feelings, like i was there when he relasped but i start talking my crazy shit and then suddenly mental illness is off the table??? whatever its not even like i like him or nothing like that. i dont understand why i do this to myself, this is just turning into a rant but ive been holding this down for so long it feels good to scream it out into the void that is tumblr yk? also like i drew on cut marks because it hurts less plus i can just wash that off, yk i do that a lot i put on makeup that made me look like i commeted suicide bc i was sad and suicidle(who would have gussed???) plus i just found this collage i really want to go to but no one belives i can do it and i act like that makes me wanna do it more but really it just shows how much people belive imma be a no body and im so scared im going to be suck here forever like my mom and dad. why does life have to be such a bitch like why do i always gotta screw up everything???? lke i have two boyfriends that care about me yet i want to date this girl thats never gonna love me back?? and when i say love i mean i actually love her so much and i cant talk about it because shell find out that im totally in love with her and shell flip out and distance herself from me and i need her shes my everything and if i don't have her in my life even just as a friend i think i need to switch schools again because that's what i always do, when shit gets rough go and hide because i cant handle all this shit and my parents are finally in a good place (mentally) and im gonna screw it up for them because ill stress them out by ignoring everyone and sleeping through meals and holidays and they'll yell at me because they don't understand and i don't blame them im a mess filled with self pity and gross tindencys so i cant have anyone love me truly because im so gross and i just want the felling of everything to stop, like i want to be so fucking happy that everyone thinks on on drugs, which i was on anti anxiety pills but then i felt nothing so i cut myself bu my dumbass was wearing white pants and my mom found out and yelled at me, and screamed and woke everyone up and my sibling still reminds me about it and every time he does i want to hold him down and beat the shit out of him, like does he even take my mental illness serously, does anyone??? are my parents just pretending to give a shit, at least my mom is, my dad cares for me but he just never says the right things, and i forgive him but i just want nothing to go wrong for once i just want everyone to stop. stop talking to me, stop trying to help but also ignoring my despreat cries for help doesn't make me feel any better and also i don't want to be lied toi want the truth even if it would hurt me yk? i don't know what i want, but i know it'd make me feel safe and happy and no long like everyone's trying to get me, i just want to have someone who'd look at all different sides of me and go "wow their awesome, and sure they do stuff i disagree with but there a good person who's gonna make it big and ill stand with them through thick and thin and its okay they have issues we all do and love every flaw" like im sure my boyfriend would say this but i don't want him to say it i want it shown i want to see and trust i can tell them anything and they'd stick around.

tldr: i was origanally posting this so everyone would know i didnt commet suicide but then it turned into a rant so, yah sorry, uh i read a really good south park fanfic so thats something good that happened, though it reminded me alot of me and me is my enemy rn so i was really angry but in a healthy good way, also thought my dad died but thats justsum good ol paranoia also sorry for all the typos, did ths on my computer at like 11:55 so im kinda half asleep

[winwintea]

-🍆✊ anon

karina is on some stuff bc wtf why do you rant ab ur twin and then suddenly she never exists??? Reminds me of my uncle when he gets faded😞

And 🍑👋 anon i would LOVE to go on an arson date just tell me when.. #powercouple

btw i haven’t been responding in a few days because the house was flooded and my electricity was off… feel like im going crazy because the street was submerged earlier in the day and there was a damn alligator walking by and it was so chill??? and rn it’s raining hard af i feel the ground RUMBLING because of the thunder.

lowk i think next chapter should just be yangyang teaching renjun how to play league i think that would be awesome!!

YOUR UNCLE???? hello my jaw dropped.

wait this is so great i’m literally playing matchmaker guys… ill figure out and pay for a venue for your first date hold on i will be thinking about this

MF THATS CRAZY… IT WAS THAT BAD ??? (lowkey though ian was so bad for us idk…) also why are you shocked at alligators and their chillness like. this is a common thing.

quite literally what i see on a daily basis. life is good life is great. we love alligators and we also love eating them.

bro it was RAINING SO HESVILY TODAY ??? I WAS SO SHOCKED LIKE ITS BEEN A WHILE IVE BEEN SWEATING MY ASS OFF ALL DAY 😭😭

league training day (i have also never played league)

[lqfiles]

HEHEHEHE BROOO HAECHAN IS A ROMANTIC I LOVE HIM (bro doesn’t even realize his words are so 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼) i bet you he unknowingly listens to love songs and is like “oh this reminds me of her, she’ll like it” and just saves it

HES A SIMP YN’S A SIMP WE’RE ALL SIMPS

also i came too late 🧍🏻‍♀️ bc ive been busy remodeling my room and dealing with comic con since it’s in the same city as me but IM HERE AND I MISSED YOU AND THE UPDATES AND EVERYONE

also got to watch the walk mv and bro… YUTA? YUTAAAAA i need someone to freak out with me bc his tattoos and his belly ring? AHHHH

also thank you for the update 😋🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 YOURE SO APPRECIATED AND YOUR UPDATES ARE SOMETHING I LOOK FORWARD TO 🫶🏼 SO TALENTED 😭😭

but nahhh haechan is me asking those type of questions. my friends literally receive a “you have to save my life but you have to walk through spiders for me, would you do it?” and then with my bf i just ask “do you hate me?” heheh

THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE!!

- 🫧

(if you want to listen to Spanish music, here are a few songs i could think of rn:

eres mía - romeo santos

incondicional - prince royce

mariposa traicionera - maná

obsesión - aventura

11PM - maluma

ahora quien - marc anthony

ella y yo - aventura

ALSO JUST LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED THE MEANINGS OF THE SONGS BC I GOT YOUUU

REMEMBER YOURE SO TALENTED AND COOL AND AWESOME AND VERY COOL AND VERY AWESOME

HE SOOOOO WOULD like he’ll see smth random and be like “she would probably love this”, trusttt when he is in that relationship he is gonna make everything about her 🤦🏽‍♀️

PLSSS omgg is this your first comic con?? i saw a video of slushy noobz going there and it lowk looked lit asf, and what character are you going as 👀 i’m glad you’ve been doing stuff tho!!! hope your room turns out nice <3

HE LOOKED GOOD INFEED BUT FOR ME MARK IS FOING IT LIKE FUCKKK… that walk mv outfit with the baggie jorts and red ourfit is so hskdhskdbj i need him baddd

HDKDHSKFHDKD JUWT ASKING YOUR BF ‘do you hate?’ IS SO PTP HAECHANN it’s also so stg mc coded 😭 i love totally silly questions like that like how the fuck do you even come up with something as insane as that omg..

I HAVE INDEED BEEN WANTING TO LISTEN TO SPANISH SONGS FUCKKK omg idk if she is spanish but there is this girl bb trickz and she is so pretty and that one song she has with that one guy is so fire i love it, thanks for the recommendations dear i’ll give them a listen and thank you for the sweet words, hope you’ve been well and ily and yeah just hope you have the best day ever i love you!! <333

[jumpinjohnnyjumble]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers ♡

ohwjdh i haven’t gotten one of these type asks in so long this is awesome

• my partnerrrrr they got banned from tumblr for having too many sideblogs otherwise i would tag them LOL but they make me smile and laugh every day . im going to also add spending time with my friends onto this bullet point bc that’s extremely important to me and i have so many things that i love so i have to conserve space

• sweet hamsters… the other day my family was talking about the harmful effects of social media and i had to break the news to them that my instagram activity is like 90% hamster videos. half my camera roll is stuff like this:

shoutout to so many other animals though i love animals i love living things on earth sooo so much.

• going to shows and events !!! im so excited im going to a burlesque show tomorrow and im seeing the living tombstone and glass animals later this year (separate concerts. but could you imagine??) idk it just makes me so happy to be around people and see performances and hear music and sometimes dress up wahhh

• SPEAKING OF DRESSING UP i loveeee fashion i dont really talk about it that much because what would i say but i adore planning outfits in reality AND in my mind, especially when i get to get costumy with it . i really need to post more outfits . bc i love it

• reminders of how strange and beautiful human beings are.. outsider art and cult movies and passion projects and mysteries where the core of it is WHY someone created something, and art about those things. and just people being people. that sincerely may be the most beautiful thing in the world and i mean that

i wont tag anybody but if you’re reading this i want to know what makes you happy too 🫵 so i’ll send you the ask if you want <3 hi