#i just need to recover from the mental breakdown i had that’s. all

[youareinlovetv]

woah!

i didn’t expect that at all. thank you guys so much!

i never expected to get this many followers. 102 people sounds like a dream. i was able to get 300 subscribers on youtube but not this fast. tumblr makes me feel awesome knowing that a ton of people love and support me.

yesterday was actually a really bad day for me. i had a mental breakdown and i wasn’t okay. so for right now, i need a few days to take a break and try to pick up the broken pieces in my life. i’m sorry that i’m leaving for a few days at a milestone like this! but i promise when i come back that i’ll get to any asks that i missed and try to catch up on my dashboard asap. i love you guys. <3

[thekidsarentalright]

feeling sooooooo anxious today for no reason 😵‍💫

[homunculus-argument]

I was born and raised American, but with everything that's happened over the past few years I've been considering moving to another country. but I don't know if this is just "the grass is greener". Not sure if this really fits with your blog, but as someone from Europe what's your attitude towards living in the US?

I've visited there a handful of times and most of my thoughts are "damn bitch, y'all really live like this?" People in Finland like to complain about the climate, the taxes, and how stingy the welfare systems are (if you currently rely on them) or how costly they are (if you're currently not relying on them), but honestly most of the time that's because people are used to having it so good, or don't really have a perspective of how bad everyone would be doing without the infrastructure that everything runs on.

Sure, nowhere is perfect, and there's always room for improvement, but honestly the people I've met in the US only really seem to think that their system is good because they've never been anywhere else and don't know any better.

Mostly it's stuff that you'd never think about if you hadn't been to both places, like being able to trust that tap water is drinkable or that you can safely walk/bike to wherever you need to go. The US really doesn't have the kind of ability to just hang out in public places, just walking to the town and sitting on benches. Having public parks and libraries isn't really the same if you can't just walk there, and you genuinely need a car to go anywhere.

I moan and lament a lot about how the winters here are hard to endure - at the darkest time of the year the sun rises at 9 and sets before 5 pm - but I wouldn't move from here just because of that, mainly because of how reliably everything is structured here. Sure, it's all run with funds from relatively high taxes, but that is a self-feeding loop on its own. The tax-paying workforce isn't a disposable resource that's wrung dry once and tossed out when it's broken, but even when you're just another cog in the machine, you're one that's maintained, not replaced if broken.

I had a lot of breakdowns when I was younger, largely due to depression and other mental issues I had due to the undiagnosed ADHD. When I started breaking down at work in my old factory job, they couldn't just fire me on the spot because of the workers' union fought tooth and nail to make sure that you can't throw people out for getting sick, and mental illness is treated no different from other health issues. I was allowed to take two years off work in order to study into a career I thought would fit me better. That didn't turn out well either, but I was still allowed to bounce back and forth between odd jobs, sick leave, and studying - all on government pensions during the spots when I wasn't working a wage - until I found the right diagnosis, the right medications, and the right job.

It's not a hyperbole to say that I owe my life to the ample and studry social welfare systems that Finland has in place. Sure, you're just another brick in the wall, a cog in the machine, but if you keep breaking down, it takes a long time until they completely give up on you if you can somehow make them believe that you're trying, because it's cheaper for the tax system to figure out how to make you fit into the machine than just toss you out. A human being is an expensive investment and if getting you to the right job, education, diagnosis, medication or even arranged housing is what it takes to get your ass back into the workforce, they'll at least try.

I'm perfectly happy to pay the taxes here to fund the system that helped me onto my feet when I was in no condition to function, and to support the people who never do recover, find their place, or be able to support themselves on their own. And I can live with the peace of mind that even if I fall apart again, that safety net is still there. It's brutal, pragmatic, and regards your health and welfare as a means to an end - to get you working and paying taxes again - but they still do prioritise your welfare. Cogs are cheaper to maintain than replace.

[lif3lessb0dy]

₊˚⊹ ೀ lads boys; xavier & zayne

╰┈➤ headcanon/scenario; they saw how reader is struggling with her mental health

cw; self-harming(recovering), scars, depression in xavier's part, feeling not enough because of scars in zayne's part, cursing

a/n; if any of this topics is triggering you do not read! I kinda based some of this on my personal experience from the past so I did everything I could to make this accurate, if you feel like reading this will be harmful to your journey in any way feel free to skip it

i saw @chryssikyu 's post and decided that I can write something about it since I haven't found anything like that here.

╰┈➤ XAVIER!

you were a team so he could watch how your behavior is changing

he was really worried, he wanted to ask if everything is fine

he was headed straight to your apartment, prepared the questions in his head, he was afraid that it would seem awkward, you were just work partners after all

he knocked at your door

you opened but after you realized that it was xavier you just wanted to start crying again, you looked like a total mess, you didn't want to make him worry about you but it was too late

„can i... can i come in?” he asked quietly

„yeah, of course” you wiped your wet cheeks with your sleeve once again.

you were nervous asf

after some minutes of normal talk he wanted to just ask about his suspicions

you started crying and opened up about your recovery and depression episodes that lately hit you badly, you told him how you were feeling about your job, friends and life in general

he saw your old scars on thighs but didn't say anything, he waited to see if you would like to talk about it, he didn't want to force you to do this, especially now

you had such a bad mental breakdown that you have told him everything.

„(y/n) if you ever have such a bad time again that you want to return to self-harm, come to me. we don't even have to talk if you don't want to, if you ever feel like that again just come to me. or I will come to you, I don't want you to suffer in silence, it's not a shame to ask for help or support.” he looked at you „you are so much more than what you think, i don't want you to sit in the dark of your room crying and thinking you're useless, because you're not. I know you probably think my words are a joke, but I really... I really like you so I want you to be happy, I would do anything to make sure you don't experience these bad moments alone”

you didn't expect this. you expected disgust or laugh. why was he so nice and caring? in your eyes you were just a burden to him on a missions but he still cared about you.

„I also understand that you will need your alone moments, I just want you to know that you can count on me.” he gently grabbed your hand. „we're more than just a team, I care about you and wish you the best”

╰┈➤ ZAYNE!

it was your first date with him, you still couldn't believe that it was really happening

you wanted to dress nicely but after you saw yourself in the mirror you just started crying. no matter what dress or skirt you were wearing you still felt ugly. you felt like the scars on your body make you worse.

you called zayne and came up with some excuse just to stay at home. you really felt terrible, you just wanted to lay in bed all day and cry. you recently started therapy again because you knew that you were feeling worse and worse every day.

zayne knew that something was off. you were so excited, but suddenly you were sick and couldn't go? he knew that you were 100% healthy because he was your doctor after all, he didn't notice any signs of illness at yesterday's routine checkup

he decided to go to your apartment to see what was going on. he gently knocked and waited for an answer, after a while you opened the door.

„za-zayne?” he caught you off guard, you quickly pretended that you were coughing. „what are you doing here?”

„I wanted to examine you since you're not feeling well”

you felt guilty that you made him worry about you. you sighed and knew that you needed to tell him the truth.

„zayne... listen, i-i'm...” you started whispering.

„not sick?” he raised an eyebrow. „can I come in?”

you nodded twice. you felt embarrassed because of your lie.

„what's wrong, (y/n)? did something happen? or you just... didn't want to go? yo-you could tell me if you didn't want this date” he said calmly, almost like he thought that it's all because of pity towards him, well, he was the one who asked you out, he was worried that you agreed because you didn't want to make him feel bad

„no! i wanted it, but... it's really complicated” you avoided his gaze, not sure how to say what you were thinking. „since you're my doctor you know that...” you paused, your psychologist helped you learn how to talk about your feelings, but you were still afraid.

„know what?” he came closer and grabbed your hand. „don't be afraid, (y/n), you can tell me everything and I will not judge you” zayne said sincerely.

„do you think i'm worse than others because of my scars? do they make me ugly?” you looked straight into his eyes

„what?” he was completely shocked. „I have never thought like that and I never will. these scars are a sign of how much you've been through, that's the past, we can't change it, but we can do anything so you don't have to make new ones.” there was no insincerity in his gaze, only pure love. „I don't only care about how your body looks like, I see you as a wonderful, brave person who has a good heart. you're so pretty for me, some scars won't change it” he lifted your hand and gently pressed his lips against it.

„I wouldn't want people to start talking bad about you because of my...” he didn't let you finish, he cupped your face and ran his thumb over your lips.

„do you think I care about what they think when I have you by my side? you're a wonderful person, everyone admires how nice and helpful you are, often after you visit me in the hospital, people would talk about how beautiful you are, (y/n), let me show you how I see you, don't look at yourself like you're the worst piece of shit. i know it's not that easy, i'm glad you're continuing with therapy, and if there's anything i can do to show you how much i care about you – i will do it.”

[sunboki]

hi august!! it’s 🍭 anon from your blurboki blog!! i just had the worst shift of my entire life. i had to close my whole store down by myself after working 12 hours at two different jobs while running on two hours of sleep and i was so behind that i was there an hour past my scheduled shift. if you have the time, could you give me headcanons of how skz would comfort a stressed reader coming home from work and breaking down in front of them;( my boys are the only thing keeping my sanity right now. i hope you’ve had a good day today, and your mom is so cute for those minsung texts<33

🧷 SKZ COMFORTING YOU AFTER A STRESSFUL DAY

・ including. ot8

・ warnings crying, nicknames, mental breakdowns, angst

note. rushing to write this as fast i can because you deserve it for being so unbelievably sweet and incredible. you’re doing amazing i hope you know that, and please, even if it’s hard to make time while being so busy, make time to take care of yourself, okay? i recommend watching episodes 33, 52, and 61 of chan’s room, they’re some of my favorite comfort watches <3

CHAN hates when you cry. He hates it so much it makes him feel sick to his stomach. He could still perfectly remember how your voice had shook, looking so utterly sad and broken and it made him feel like everything was his fault—that he should’ve done better. Better at protecting you, caring for you, everything. Not like he didn’t before, just better. Urging you to take deep breaths and listen to him as he spoke, he pulled you into his chest, helping calm your frantic heart down. “It’s going to be okay, listen to me baby, you’re okay.” Chan whispered, soul splintering into pieces from your fragile hiccups against his t-shirt, sounding so fragile and pained. Oh what he would give to kiss all your worries away, hug you close to him for eternity—till you never felt this way ever again. He would. He’d stay here all night—no, his entire life—if that’s what it took.

MINHO kicked his feet as he walked back to your place, plastic bag filled with snacks from the convenience store swinging aimlessly beside him. Though suddenly his phone began ringing, face lighting up upon seeing your number. “Jagi~ did you miss m-“..Min.. can you come home faster please? I really need you right now.” Something was wrong. Very wrong. He’d never stopped in his tracks so fast, bag long abandoned behind him as he sprinted as fast as he could. Basically slamming into the door with panic before collecting you—who was curled up on the floor—into his arms and hushing your rambles, rocking back and forth as he let you cry, cry and cry until you murmured that your face hurt from the tears and he eased you to fall asleep, giving your lips an open kiss as your head tipped back against his shoulder, finally succumbing to the exhaustion. Minho didn’t need to know what happened, what was wrong. He didn’t care, you could save that for later. Right now, he needed to make sure his love was safe and warm.

CHANGBIN looked up from his phone as the key to the door clicked, awaiting you with upturned lips and happiness-filled crescent moon eyes. That was, before you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, choking on the bubbling sob threatening to climb up your throat. It was like slow-motion watching you crumble, and he immediately grabbed your hands and led you to the foot of your shared bed, giving your hands soft squeezes. A silent, ‘I’m here, so don’t be afraid to talk to me.’ Speaking words that didn’t need to be spoken. Changbin was good at that. “I’m just so overwhelmed with work and life and today was beyond shitty. And it’s unbelievably hard sometimes to exist, y’know?” He nods in response, appearing equally upset. Watching you break down is extremely difficult for him, but he knows this is how you recover, how you get through this and he can’t interfere. Without saying anything, the rapper stares at you so lovingly, beckoning you into a long, cozy hug as he pats the top of your head.

HYUNJIN could see the heart-breaking glossiness of your eyes before any words were shared between you two. Simultaneously, he lifted a finger to your lips, brows lifted expectantly. “Shh.. not yet, not yet. Wait, sweetness.” Then proceeds to wrap you into a blanket burrito and turn on disney movies at low volume while you’re pulled into his lap on the couch, all in a matter of thirty seconds. He runs gentle fingers along your cheeks, trailing up to thumb away stray tears dappling your under eyes. So, so delicate, like someone could snap the line of carefulness with a dull butter knife. Hyunjin listens to you attentively, as if you were the only thing existent in the moment. He listens and listens and listens some more, letting you release all the built up anxiety and stress drowning you. Once you finish, he ever-so slightly tips your chin to kiss him, hands cupping either side of your face. “We’re going to get through this together, trust me.”

HAN’s entire expression shifts instantly, brows knitting with concern and eyes growing wide. “Baby?” Head snapping up, he frantically nods, debating on what his first move should be. “Could I.. cry? For a second.” You shakily ask, and to say his heart broke was an understatement. “Baby, you never have to ask. Now c’mere.” He meekly smiles, patting the spot on the couch beside him. Turns out, your boyfriend isn’t as strong as you thought, because a mere ten minutes into your crying and he joins, whining jumbled sentences in between sobs about how he plans to beat up whoever’s responsible until you begin laughing at him and he cries even more because: “I love you so much— stop laughing~” and “I don’t understand why you’re laughing, this is sad!” Not to mention this crying fiasco eventually leads to the both of you fast asleep sprawled on the couch, snacks and drinks scattered everywhere as emotional support. Nonetheless, you could always count on Jisung to be there for you, cry with you, laughing with you, anything. Always.

FELIX throws off his oven mitts upon hearing your bag hit the floor, but what he hadn’t expected at the door were heavy tears steaming down your face, sniffing profusely to replace the air quickly snatched from your lungs with each breath. He falters, assessing the situation at hand. You’re incapable of talking, mind racing too fast too properly react. Although, without fail, Felix ushers you into a chair, pulling his own up to sit in front of you. Big, mystifyingly beautiful brown orbs study your face, kindly making eye-contact in the midst of your blinking. Reassurance, kindness. Felix is undeniably patient, undeniably kind. He disappears, scouring through cabinets to return with a small dessert and an equally small fork. Tediously cutting a small bite, he holds the treat up to you, humming like a proud mother watching her baby eat when you take a bite. One by one, more and more bites. More humming, more light touches brushing away sticky strands of hair plastered onto your face. Quiet. Your apartment is quiet and has been since you returned. No one has said a word, but Felix seems to always find a way to say how much he loves and cares for you.

SEUNGMIN can tell. Even on the most normal of days, he can tell. Like today, when you nonchalantly kissed his cheek like you usually did and retreated into the bedroom, he could tell. A shift in the air. Subtle, but a shift in the air, because when he walked in afterwards, leaning forward where you sat, laptop placed on your desk, he watched you stifle a billowing noise before the wave crashed and you buried your face in your hands. “I can’t keep doing this, Seungmin.” Using his name like that, not Minnie or Min, but Seungmin told him all he needed to know. Wrapping himself around you from behind, he sighed softly. “I know you’re tired, and I know you want to stop but you’re doing good. You’ve been doing good, so please don’t let this bad day ruin better days in the future. ‘M so proud of you.” He mumbles against your neck, leaving chaste kisses there. For Seungmin, your boyfriend that (playfully) picked fun at you to be saying things like this meant a lot. You couldn’t contain the tears after that. “I love you, Minnie.” — “No, ‘love you more.” — “Are you sure?” — “Nope.” — “Hey!”

JEONGIN struggles to make out your shape in the darkness, laying in bed where he’d been waiting for you. Today you returned late, stuttering over every chance of communicating as you clumsily slipped into bed beside him. He immediately raised up, nudging you closer to him to cuddle. “Mm love, what’s going on, tell me.” He asked, tone low from sleep. “I don’t want to talk about it, ‘just want you, Innie.” He cracks a weak smile, burying his face in your collarbone. “Then I’m here, for you.” Jeongin hums, allowing you to mumble your frustrations and thoughts without complaint, trying to reply his best while feeling himself drift off periodically. Eventually, you both fall asleep beside each other, limbs tangled and hair splayed in all directions. In the morning he helps ice your puffy eyes, big hands holding onto your hips gently as your back lean against him, both brushing your teeth. And you decide, with Jeongin, nothing can be wrong. Nothing can hurt, nothing bad will last. He’s safe. You love him.

sunboki, may 2022 ©

[anderscim]

✦ a really old minitheory about jax that had been left in my drafts for nearly a year

title is pretty self-explanatory.

// spoilers for the pilot episode of TADC

so, this is actually an old theory that i had created back when the pilot first came out—but i decided that it’s worth sharing now. basically, it summarizes what i think could possibly be a reason behind our favorite rabbitoid’s behavior.

take everything with a grain of salt. (^^)

this might sound like a weird place to start from, but i swear there’s a line of thinking behind it—what could be some of the reasons that a character abstracts?

at the very least, we know for sure that abstraction occurs if a character’s mental state entirely collapses—which could happen for a myriad of reasons. mental breakdown, existential crisis, you name it.

however, the most important effect that comes with abstraction is that they completely lose their sense of identity—which is also shown externally with the abstracted character’s appearance.

this led me to think that a possible reason for abstraction could also play into identity—whether that’s losing it, somehow messing with it one way or another, or, in a crazy scenario, doing something (aka recovering original memories, for example) that would cause them to clash with their current identity. things like that. obviously there’s some very strong theories out there as to what could also be other reasons for abstracting, but for now i’ll stick with the simpler explanations.

okay, but what does this have to do with jax?

basically, i needed to set up the previous context in order to be able to explain a possible reason for jax’s… jacka$$ery. yeah. that works.

as far as i can tell, it looks like he’s essentially being mean to everyone else just for the sake of it. from (allegedly) placing a centipede in ragatha’s room, to constantly bullying gangle, to pretty much every snide comment in general—it seems that he’s completely cemented his role as the “mean guy” of the series. but what if that was his goal?

the reason why i partly discussed identity in the abstraction section is because, to me, it seems like jax is setting up his own identity as the rudest and most chaotic character in the cast as a way to ensure his survival in this digital world for as long as possible. or in other words, this identity of his is something he can consistently fall back onto no matter what happens, which allows him to keep his mental stability a bit better than others. it’s a simple role that was developed only within the context of the digital circus, and he seems completely comfortable with staying in it.

additionally, here are some other circumstances where he could just fall back on his “identity”— - something bad happens to him? sure, let’s call it karma. - in the event that he does something that causes a bit too much destruction? it’s fine, he’s supposed to be the guy that would do something like that anyways. (edit: he did exactly this in episode 2. just my luck. help me.) - hurts someone on accident? wouldn’t be out of the question. maybe even intentionally if the time calls for it.

overall, it feels like his current place as the “rude character” makes it a lot easier for him to stay consistent and keep things less complicated. being nice is difficult and nuanced, you may unintentionally hurt someone by saying the wrong thing—but if you’re already known to harm people one way or another, there’s absolutely no mistakes you can make.

and for jax, it’s a way to keep himself grounded while causing a ton of chaos on the side—which he seems to like doing, so it works. this is pretty much a foolproof method of survival for him; at least, until something happens which he doesn’t expect.

but this is all just speculation. feel free to chime in with some of your own insights (´∀｀*)

———

edit: yes, this is pretty old haha. but i think it still somewhat holds true for episode 2, so i’m posting it for now. would be kinda funny if i was entirely wrong about this though (￣ ￣)

[hushedlover]

Screaming and Crying Part 2

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x reader

Summary: Part 2. You're recovering from the hurt Xavier caused. You've avoided him at all costs, but how long can it go on?

A/n: Here's part 2! I had so much fun writing this. Isabella is based off of one of my best friends who helped me proof read this lol

Requests are open! Send anything in!

The sun was setting by the time you made your way back to the school. Your phone had gone off multiple times with calls and texts from friends questioning your disappearance. You ignored them all. You couldn’t find it in you to care. The blood had long dried on your knuckles, not until after you had finished punishing the poor tree more. Your arm hung limp at your side, your wrist had swelled and was throbbing. Probably sprained or broken. You couldn’t find it in you to care about that either.

You were sure you looked crazy, your hair a wind blown mess, face tear stricken, and blood covering your hand. You walked through the quad and ignored the people who gawked at you. It was very few due to the late hour, dinner had passed so you just made your way to your dorm. Isabella, your roommate, would be pissed seeing as you had ignored every worried attempt she made to reach out to you. You were correct in your assumptions. The minute you swung your door open she was bolting to her feet.

“No, no she just came in. Yeah I'll call you back. Okay bye,” she hung up the phone and sighed. “That was Enid. We were worried sick about you! What happened? Oh my gosh your hand! Bitch, what happened?”

You surprised both yourself and Isabella when you broke out laughing at their outburst.It was odd, the rush of adrenaline you had gained from the situation. You felt floaty, like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders. Isabella stood there, gaping at you. This caused more laughter to flow out of you due to them looking like the human embodiment of the stupid emoji everyone uses. She almost looked afraid of you. When you finally calmed your fit of giggles, they spoke.

“Girl, what the fuck. What is happening right now?”

“I don’t even know man. I’m... I'm so tired. And boys are buttheads.”

“You say that like that's something new. I’m telling you, women are just better. But what happened? Was it that blonde beanstock you’re always with? What’s his name? Tarzan?”

You laughed again,” Xavier. And yeah it was him. It was him and his infatuation with that Wednesday girl.”

“Oh my god,” Isabella dragged out the last syllable, “I can’t blame him girl she’s so fine!”

You just glared at her and moved to go to your shared restroom. You wanted to wash the blood off your hand and inspect the damage done.

“Way to rub salt in the wound, thank you. So much,” you muttered over the sound of the sink running.

“Listen. Here me out on this. Please, plEAaase,” they whined from the doorway.

“Just grab me some pajamas, will you? I think I need a shower to get all of this off. My plaid pajama pants please.”

You heard rustling and heard Isabella call out to you.

“Not to ruin the good mood or anything, but shouldn’t you be having a mental breakdown right now? You haven’t even told me what happened, but I feel like there should be more tears.”

“I think it’ll come later, I’m kind of-,” You cut yourself off to take the clothes she had gathered from them. “Thank you. I’m kind of numb right now. I think it’s shock. And adrenaline. I don’t know. Can I explain after my shower?”

“Fine, but hurry up. I wanna know what my reasoning is going to be for kicking Tarzan’s ass,” and with that they shut the door behind them.

You slipped into the shower, the warm water relaxing your muscles. The silence without music would usually bother you, but tonight it was welcomed. Your head was finally quiet. Thoughts of Xavier and Wednesday kissing and holding hands long forgotten. You were just looking forward to the weekend now.

—------

It had been 2 days since that night. Isabella had kept you sane and occupied all weekend. You had shit talked and stuffed your faces with all the junk food you could find. Isabella had also confiscated your phone, claiming that “We can’t risk you being a pussy and giving into your problem.” So if anyone had tried to contact you it went unanswered. Bianca and the twins, you and Isabella’s friends, knew to take her if they needed something.

It was Monday morning now. You really, really did not want to go to class knowing you would have to see both Xavier and Wednesday and all your mutual friends, but Isabella forced you. They told you to “women up” and be a bad bitch. But you really didn’t feel like a bad bitch. You felt a bit pathetic. Isabella threw a pillow at you, startling you from your thoughts.

You flipped them off and then slipped out of bed and went to get dressed. Due to the weather being so cold the rules on uniform were a bit more lenient so you slid on some leggings and your Nevermore crewneck. The sleeve stuck to the brace you had around your wrist, luckily you hadn’t broken it, but it was sprained pretty bad. Isabella was getting ready too, but when she saw you in your comfy outfit she paused.

“Tell me you are not planning on wearing that.”

You looked down, confused.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Girl! We get the chance to dress how we want, be cute!”

“Says you,” you grumbled playfully but went to change anyway.

You threw on some jeans and a long sleeve top with a t-shirt over it. Then you threw on some shoes and walked out of your closet.

“Is this better,” You raised your arms in question.

Isabella nodded in approval and then they shoved your bag and phone into your hands.

“Let’s go, Bianca is waiting and I’m hungry. You took too long.”

“What?,” You yelled as you were pushed out the door and towards the stairs. “You’re the one who made me change! I was ready!”

The two of you continued to bicker all the way down to the quad, where Bianca and the twins were standing there waiting for you. When you approached them, Bianca wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug. You laughed softly at the action. It was odd, your guys' relationship. She was Xavier’s ex yes, but before that you had all been friends. And that didn’t stop despite the conflict between the broken up couple. You had always trusted Bianca, and though it was a bit awkward at first, you remained close no matter the circumstances.

When you pulled away Bianca held you by the shoulders and smiled at you.

“He’s a dick who doesn’t know what’s good for him. You’re amazing and you’re so much more mature than him.”

You smiled at her, and kissed her cheek.

“Thank you, Bianca.”

“Guuuuuyyyyys, I’m hungrryyyyyyyyy.”

Your group all laughed at Isabella’s complaints. You all agreed to have the twins grab the food and then they’d meet you guys back at the table to eat. It was nice to laugh freely with your friends. A weight was lifted off your chest. When the twins returned you all dug into your food. You were all joking and bickering amongst yourselves. You almost forgot about your conflict with Xavier. Almost.

The thought of him still lingered in your brain. It stayed there through breakfast and while you were walking to class. You were so lost in conversation that you forgot that you had your first class with him. You remembered when you walked in the doorway and saw him sitting in his seat, the one next to him empty where you would usually be. You froze in your spot, your heart palpitating painfully. Isabella stopped next to you with a puzzled look.

“Why’d you stop in the middle of the- Oh.”

They cut themselves off when they saw where you were looking. He hadn’t noticed you yet, too enamored in his drawing he was working on. You looked up at your friend next to you, your eyes wide with panic. You didn’t know what to do.

“Hey hey hey, don’t cry please. I don’t do well with crying. Here, you’ll sit with me. I’ll be your new partner,” She was already guiding you to your new seat.

When you got there you kept your head low, afraid to look up and make eye contact with Xavier. You sat next to Isabella and they struck conversation with you easily until the teacher walked in. When you heard the footsteps walk in the room you instinctually looked up, and you wished you hadn’t. Your eyes drifted across the room to where Xavier sat, the seat next to him now occupied. The sight of him and his new partner made your stomach drop. It was Wednesday sitting next to him. Of course it was.

He must have felt your eyes on him because he glanced over at you. When his eyes met yours and widened, you quickly hardened your gaze and looked away. You didn’t want him to see the hurt you still felt. Straightening your back you focused your attention on the lecture, you wouldn’t let him get to you.

___

The lecture felt like it went on forever, so when it was finally over you were extremely relieved. You and Isabella parted ways at the door, they would go to their next class and you would go to chemistry. With Xavier. Your chest tightened at the thought. You sped up your pace as you walked towards the class, hoping if you got there fast enough you could find any seat away from him. But the universe decided to give you a huge middle finger today. When you arrived at the class there were only 2 open seats. Right next to each other.

You sighed. You were too tired for this. Maybe you could just ignore him and he’d leave you alone. That is if he even wanted anything to do with you. You didn’t have to wait long to see his reaction. He walked in not long after you, his eyes darting between you and the chair next to you. You continued to look down at your paper, refusing to meet his eyes. You heard him audibly sigh before he dropped his bag and sat next to you. You could feel him burning holes into the side of your head, but you didn’t dare look over.

Class started and things were going smoothly. The class was mostly notes, so there was no need to talk to the boy next to you. That didn’t stop him from bothering you though. As you concentrated on the board ahead of you, you felt something land on your hand. Looking down, you saw a butterfly perched on the back of your hand. It was a dark gray, clearly one of Xavier's drawings. You felt your heart pick up at the thought of him trying to get your attention. Immediately, you shook your hand, and your head, slightly to clear the butterfly and your thoughts. Xavier sighed again and then looked back at the board.

—

After that there were no incidents. The day continued smoothly and by the end of it you were exhausted and ready to flop on your bed. You did just that when you arrived at your dorm. Throwing your bag to the ground, you ran and fell face first on the plush covers. Not 5 minutes into your silence, the door burst open. In came Isabella and Bianca, talking loudly before they saw you.

“Y/n,” Isabella called out. “What are you doing? We’re going down to Weathervane in like 10 minutes?”

You grumbled back, your words being incoherent. You didn’t want to get up. But you also wanted coffee.

Slowly you rolled off your bed and to the floor, and then looked towards your friends. Isabella looked confused, Bianca looked concerned. You reached your hands out towards them and pouted.

“Help please,” You wiggled your fingers at them.

They looked at each other and sighed before walking to you and pulling you to your feet. Then they dragged you out the door, leading you on the bus that was going to bring kids down to town. When you arrived in the cafe you practically ran for the counter. No one was there yet, but you knew the boy who worked here most days, Tyler. You guys had met at one of the festivals in town before his whole argument with Xavier. You had been pissed with him over what he did to Xavier, but after he apologized and explained himself you had become civil once again. Now you were more acquaintances than friends, but you loved the way he made your coffee so you were kind to him.

You dinged the bell on the counter obnoxiously while Isabella and Bianca made their way into the shop. You heard Tyler yell something from the back before he came into your view, clearly frustrated. You gave him a sickly sweet and innocent smile.

“Hi Tyler, did you miss me?”

“Oh so very much,” he smiled back at you. “The usual I assume? You want to put theirs on your order too?”

He pointed at your two friends behind you, who he had seen come in with you hundreds of times before. They had already sat down and were chatting idly.

“Yes please, I’m treating today,” You said, pulling out your wallet.

As you fished for the right amount of cash you heard Tyler speak again.

“What about his?”

Your head snapped up, your brows furrowed. You had been so focused on the money that you hadn’t heard the door open. When you glanced behind you, you saw the last person you wanted to see. Xavier.

“No, uh. He’s not with me- us today,” You tripped over your words, hands now shaking as you tried to hand the cash to the boy in front of you.

Tyler quickly took note of the way you trembled and how your eyes were watering. He quickly grew concerned. You two may not be close, but he cared enough to know he didn’t like seeing you this upset. He made eye contact with Bianca, who had been watching since Xavier walked in, and waved her over. Then he placed his hand over yours.

“Hey, Y/n,” He dipped his head trying to make eye contact with you. “Hey, why don’t you go sit down? Bianca or Isabella can help me okay?”

You just nodded slightly, feeling Bianca take your shoulder gently and guiding you to the table. Isabella was finishing the transaction with Tyler, both of them looking over at you with worry occasionally. You glanced around the shop in panic, not being able to find the boy you were so desperately avoiding. That was until he was standing directly in front of your table, just next to where Bianca sat.

“Y/n, can I- Can I talk to you, please?,” Xavier stumbled over his words.

Your friend tensed and got ready to get up and give him a piece of her mind, but your hand on her arm stopped her. Xavier saw you whisper something in the siren’s ear before she slid out of the booth, giving you room to slip out too. You made brief eye contact with your previous best friend, before turning on your heel and walking out the door.

You continued to walk until you were in the grass across the street from the cafe. You knew he was following you. Like a love sick puppy. You scoffed to yourself. When you decided you were far enough from the shop you stopped and waited for him to approach you. You felt him stop behind you, but you didn’t turn.

“Y/n, please would you look at me? Look, I know I messed up. I was a total dick and I’m so sorry. I just was so excited about Wednesday, I mean I really like her. I haven’t liked anyone this much since Bianca and I-,” He cut himself off when he noticed your arms wrapped around yourself, your shoulders shaking.

You still had your back to him so he couldn’t see the tears streaking your cheeks, but he knew you were crying. You never cried. And he made you cry. Oh shit. Why were you crying? He rushed forward and turned you gently. Grabbing your cheeks, he made you look up at him. Xavier’s thumbs brushed along your cheeks, concern filling his eyes.

“Please talk to me. I don’t think I can handle you being quiet anymore. You’re never quiet with me and these past couple of days I've been trying to give you space but it’s so hard. I miss you. I miss my best friend.”

He whispered the last part, resting his forehead on yours. You furrowed your brows and sniffled. Then you pushed him away, hitting his chest. You punched and pushed and hit and Xavier took it all because he knew he deserved it.

“You idiot,” You yelled at him. “I have supported you for years! I’ve been your best friend, no matter how much you’ve pissed me off. No matter what you have said to me. And you know why I did that? Because I love you, you moron. I have loved you since we were kids, and I haven’t done anything because I just want you to be happy. But whenever any other girl comes along, you throw yourself at her! You ignore me! I’m tired Xavier! I’m so tired.”

Your shoulders slumped forward and you sighed. Xavier was a few steps in front of you, shock written across his face. His eyes were watering, his cheeks flushed. You wiped your face and felt that you had been sobbing the entire rant. Xavier took a step forward and you took one back.

“You… love me?,” He asked, like he was afraid he would scare you off.

You shook your head and glared at the grass below you.

“Only since we were 8.”

“Y/n… I don't know what to say,” He started.

“Don’t say anything. Go back to your girlfriend and leave me alone. I don’t want to hurt anymore.”

As you turned to walk away, Xavier’s hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. His mind was racing, he was panicking. He couldn’t let you walk away. Not when he found out you loved him back and every stupid this he’s done in the past year was for nothing. So he panicked and said the first thing that came to mind.

“Wednesday is a lesbian. She likes Isabella.”

You froze. You tried to process the information the tall boy had just blurted but you couldn’t. Not fully. So you burst out an incredulous laugh and collapsed to the ground. Xavier wasn’t expecting it, and with his grip still tight on your wrist he was pulled down along with you. He landed half on top of you, his arms on either side of your head to keep him from crushing you. His long hair tickled your face and you scrunched your nose at the sensation. Then you realized the position you were in. You blushed, heat rushing to your face and looked everywhere but the boy on top of you.

Xavier on the other hand could only see you. He could only focus on your eyes, the freckles that dotted your skin, the way your lips pulled into that beautiful little frown. He gently reached down and ran his thumb across your eyebrows, trying to soothe the harsh lines there. Then he cupped your jaw, forcing you to look up at him. What he did next made your heart completely start and restart in your chest.

Xavier had leaned down, pressing his lips to yours carefully. He pulled away quickly, not wanting to overstep. Before you could question him, he spoke:

“I thought you only saw me as a brother. That’s what Rowan and Ajax, my parents, everyone told me. They told me I couldn’t ruin our friendship. So like the moron I am, I listened. I pushed away my feelings for you and I went after other girls because I thought it was the only chance I had at staying in your life. Sure, I liked Bianca and Wednesday. Maybe I had a crush on them. But I wasn’t in love with them like I am with you. I am so sorry, Y/n. I never should have said what I did. If I could take it back I would. But because I can't, I'll spend my entire life making it up to you.”

You were in shock. What the fuck was he thinking:? He could just apologize and confess his love and everything would be fine? No. You smiled up at him and then you slapped him. Hard. His face turned with the impact. And then you grabbed his face and kissed him. Hard.

“You owe me so many things, the list is at least a mile long,” You said as you pulled back and then kissed where your hand had met his face. “But we have all the time in the world for you to complete that list.”

Xavier leaned down to kiss you again and then pulled away with a frown.

“That hurt,” He whined.

“You deserved it and you know it,” you kissed his cheek once more before gently pushing him off of you. “Now come on, we need to get Isabella a girlfriend. Maybe she’ll finally stop making me watch anime with her.”

___

Tags: @555stargirl555 @weasleylovers @wrenwastooshort @justanotherkpopstanlol @lovurryy @rainehatepage @ghostlycrystobalove @bambi-munson @hershey2813 @karslyn @nothingbeatsthebeautyofthemoon @parkersmyth @multistangirl07 @emilykolchivans

[boyfridged]

hello! can i request some Jason centric fic recs?

this is actually such a difficult question. in spite of years spent reading jason-centric fanfics, it is very rare that i find something that i genuinely enjoy. still, i do have some favourites that i go back to.

beneficiary by @sirsparklepants (1/1, 2k)

my favourite post-death jay fanfic. it's such a beautiful, bitter-sweet conclusion to his legacy.

untitled by @pendulum-north (1/1)

this is a very short ficlet. absolutely riveting language, as expected of a poet. my favourite take on the canon divergence that is bruce dying instead of jason. would sell my soul for north to actually write more on it.

what the living do by Anonymous (1/1, 6,5k)

stunning. perhaps my all-time favourite. jason believes he's dead. dick takes him on a road trip.

complications by JHSC (1/1, 6k)

i want to tell you so badly why i adore this fanfic but that would spoil the conclusion. so instead i can just tell you that it contains my unpopular agenda for jason's character development.

the (family) doctor's appointment by smleeish (1/1, 4k)

i have some qualms with the minuatiae of this work but this sickfick surprised me with the depth of the character study. the conclusion is so beautiful in the way it gets to the core of jason's values.

jet black crow by starknjarvis (series, 2/2, 19k)

i normally avoid sex-worker aus so please do know that this had to really impress me to be found on this list. the main reason for which it winded up here is a conversation jason has with bruce in the second installment.

the clay steals the clay by zipadeea (1/1, 2,5k)

just give it a read. a haunting... fix-it. i think about the usage of catholic themes in this fanfic often.

PLUTO. by orpheusaki (@damianbugs) (1/1, 22k)

a huge reason for which i love this one so much is the thematic similarity to the earth-51 arc in countdown. there's such good understanding of what made jason who he is as the red hood & his relationship with batman as the symbol and with bruce as his father.

things that make it warm by one_step_closer_to_death (@hopeworth) (1/1, 4k)

my favourite jay & dick fanfic! if you've been following this blog for a while, you know i am very particular about their relationship. you also know that i believe in jason's need to reconnect with his childhood and that dick should be a part of it, and this piece delivers that in the sweetest way.

of broken, blazing wings by FrEShAVocaNoob (44/44, 190k)

before i get to the praise, i have to say that this fanfic does talia very dirty and that i am not a fan of how it deals with mentions of jason's childhood & his robin days. however, it is also 190k of jason having a perpetual mental breakdown and it follows canon event starting from the lost days and finishing with countdown. it has great pacing and an admirable balance of being plot-driven and the focus on character development. jay is so painfully young and lost. i also really enjoyed dick's attitude. it's a riot and an emotional rollercoaster. i will never recover from it.

compulsory (shameless) self-promotion:

leave no trace, a ficlet on ouroboros.

black out days, a lost days au which is not a story at all. about talia, jason, the need to mythologise and staying away.

and my wip robin (vol 2): future nostalgia, a jay lives au that is to contain follow major batman plotpoints such no man's land and murderer/fugitive.

[byeoltoyuki]

✧ Give it to me ✧ - part 1

↳ Pairing: Bangchan x Reader / Felix x Reader (kind of)

❧ Genre : gang au / romance / smut / strangers to lovers / fluff / some fake texts

❧ Words: 31k

Part 1 : +17k ⎢Part 2 : +13k

❧ Warnings : Violence / mention of death / guns / mention of drugs / mention of human trafficking / smut (in part 2)

❧ Summary: Everything in life has a cost. Even freedom. To be finally out of your father’s clutches you were ready for everything. Including making a deal with the Devil. 

❧ A/N: After rewritting this story twice, I'm finally done with it. Can't say it was easy and I can't thank enough my friends who had to deal with my mental breakdowns, all my complaining and frustration. Thank you to my baby koala for this lovely moodboard ❤️

It was supposed to be a prompt but somehow I got carried away.

Since tumblr didn't let me post the story in one part, I cut it. The 2nd part will come out shortly ❤️.

Hope you enjoy your reading!

▾▾▾

“Boss wants to see you.” Ren interrupted your peaceful, and only way of escape, reading time as he stepped inside your room without knocking.

You barely glanced at him. One, your book was way more interesting than whatever he had to say. Two, it was Ren, your bodyguard, and your probably only friend in this place, which meant he was completely used to your behavior and could definitely deal with it. Three, the mention of the ‘Boss’ who happened to be your father, was a good enough excuse for ignoring him.

And Ren expected nothing less from you. From the moment he was asked to bring you to your father’s office, he knew, he was sent to a bloody loud battle. “Can you please for once make it easy?”

You slammed the book shut, giving him your undivided attention, trying to look as sweet and innocent as possible. Which would have worked on anyone other than Ren. He had seen it all and saw through you. Not surprising (yet still incredibly annoying in your opinion) considering you had spent the last two years in his company. Two years in hell could be a very long time.

“You’d get bored if it was easy.” You commented and crawled to the edge of your bed; eyes locked on him.

Ren considered for a moment to just throw you over his shoulder and carry you to the office. It was so damn tempting. Instead, he sighed and pleaded. “Please.”

“Boring.” You huffed, disappointed. However, you quickly recovered from your disappointment as you spotted a bright red cut showing from under his shirt. You frowned and immediately got on your feet. “What’s this?” You pulled at his shirt too harshly, fingers brushing the cut – Ren winced and slapped your hand away.

“Nothing.” But it wasn’t nothing. If Ren could read you like a book, so could you. You had been around him long enough to pick up his habits, especially when he was lying. He was trying to look everywhere except at your face and he was clenching his fists.

Ren wanted you to drop the subject, he didn’t need you to be noisy about it and do something probably incredibly stupid that would attract attention on the two of you. But he knew a lost battle when he saw one.

And he was right. You reached for the edge of his shirt and lifted it without asking for his permission, knowing damn well he wouldn’t agree to it, knowing he would do anything to avoid troubling you. Your grip on his shirt tightened, knuckles turning white, as you saw the damage. His chest wasn’t covered in just cuts but also with bright purple bruises.

“Who?” You whispered, voice shaking in both anger and pain.

“I got into a fight with John.” Ren ended up admitting. He could have tried to lie his way out, but one glance at your face was enough to convince him that telling the truth was the better option.

You let go of his shirt and took a step back. Of course, it was John. Nobody in their right mind would mess with Ren, he was known for being a strong fighter and a cold killer. But John? John was your father’s right-hand and a real piece of shit. You had known him half of your life and hated it him from day one.

You counted to ten, breath in, breath out. Nope, still angry.

“This fucker! God, can he just die already? Nobody is going to mourn him.” You yelled in frustration. “Except maybe for my father.” You pointed an accusing finger at him. “Why the hell did you let him beat the crap out of you? I refuse to believe that you’re weaker than him.”

Ren was touched that you had such a high opinion of his skills. “I’m not. But John is Boss’s right-hand. I can’t mess with him without risking my position. Unless you want someone else as your bodyguard.”

You cringed at his suggestion. You didn’t want him to be your bodyguard to begin with, but with time you got used to him. But getting another one? Hell no.

“What does he want?” You changed the subject.

“No idea.” Ren shrugged.

▾▾▾

You never liked visiting your father’s office. You couldn’t explain why it bothered you so much, but it did. Maybe it had something to do with him doing his evil business from inside, or maybe whether he summoned you inside, he had bad news for you. Today was not an exception.

John was standing by your father’s desk, hands behind his back, his face wore a smug expression which caused your unease to grow only more. There was definitely some bad news for you.

Without fully realizing it, you glanced over your shoulder just to confirm that Ren was following you, his presence bringing a very needed comfort while facing your father. You fully ignored John and instead approached your father’s desk, trying not to show your annoyance (which would bring you even more problems). “You asked for me?”

“I did.” Your father confirmed without raising his head from the documents he was reading. “We’re attending a charity party tonight. I had your dress delivered to your room.”

The urge to complain was burning through you. Those parties had always been the bane of your existence; boring, filled with arrogant people; some were politician, some were just filthy rich, but some, like your father, were criminals who had no problem to blend in.

“I expect you to be on your best behavior.” Your father finally raised his head to look at you, his brows furrowed. He thought that he had you finally under control, especially after the little incident from last year, but something told him he should be careful. Especially tonight, when so much was on stake.

“Why?” You dared to ask. There had to be a reason he insisted on you being a good girl, one that would probably displease you, but you still wanted to hear it.

Your father approached you without a word but his eyes spoke louder than any word could. He didn’t hesitate, not even for a second – he slapped you. “Listen well, Y/N. Tonight, I’m going to introduce you to a very powerful man who’s also my new business partner. You will present yourself as the perfect daughter that you are. A pretty, polite, lady. If you don’t-“ He paused, choosing carefully his next words, “Let’s say that what happened last year would seem like a nice dream.”

▾▾▾

“What an asshole!” You screamed the moment you got back inside your room, Ren following you like your shadow. He didn’t need to be so close to you when you were stuck in your room, in fact, he had no business at all following you inside your room, but he was worried.

“I can’t believe he wants to parade me like a damn trophy.” You continued mumbling to yourself, fuming with rage.

Of course, it wouldn’t be the first time he would bring you to one of those parties just to show his beautiful little girl, but you could tell tonight would be different. You didn’t know in what way, but it couldn’t be anything good. Not when he threatened you so nicely. Not when out of all the threats he could have chosen, he chose to remind you of the consequences of your last attempt at escaping.

You grabbed a vase from the cupboard and threw it across the room.

“Y/N.” Ren grabbed your hands, stopping you in your fit of rage. “Look at me.”

You refused, shaking your head. The need to lash out, to scream was just so strong, you could barely hold back.  Even Ren’s presence was making you angry, his attempt at calming you made things so much worse. You tried to get rid of his grip, to put space between the two of you but it was of no use. Ren was much stronger; he didn’t even budge which only fueled your rage.

“Let me go. Right now.” You ordered; your voice filled with poison. A wrong word from him and he would feel the power of your rage.

But Ren being Ren kept his calm. He had been around you long enough to know, to understand how you worked. He saw what you could become when trapped. “Y/N.” He let go of your hands, only to cup your face and force you to look at him.

It was really unfair how big, how bright, how gentle, his eyes were. There was no resent, no anger in his eyes, no will to tell you what to do, only genuine worry and wish to help you. “Breath.”

Easy thing to say when your whole body was boiling with rage.

“Come on, pretty. Do it for me, please.”

You closed your eyes and concentrated on his voice, on this touch, his scent to ground you. His deep yet incredibly sweet voice.

“Yes, just like that.” He praised you while he stroked your cheek with his thumb, trying to help you to calm down. “You’re doing so well, pretty.”

Slowly, his gentle strokes along with his praises helped you to breath properly, your heartbeat slowed down, your blood no longer boiling. Resentment was the only thing left inside you and sadly, there was nothing to get rid of it.

“It’s red.” Ren commented, his thumb brushing lightly against the red mark on your face.

It didn’t hurt that much anymore. In fact, you forgot all about it because of your anger. “Nothing makeup can’t hide.”

“I still hate it.”

Of course, he did.

You were truly amazed how things had changed between you two in just two years. The first time your father had introduced you to the freckled man, you hated his guts instantly, no matter how pretty he looked with his long blond hair, pretty nose and pretty freckles.  

It wasn’t like he had done anything for you to hate him, but he was your father’s man and someone he trusted enough to deal with you. And you had been right to be wary of him. After all, he was the one who found you and brought you back after your last attempt at escaping. He was the one who, because you refused to come back, killed your friend without blinking an eye. You loathed him for that.

Now, you could wonder why you managed to get past that. You didn’t really know yourself. Maybe because he was forced to be your shadow. Maybe because whenever you got beaten up, he was the one taking care of your wounds and comforting you. Maybe because despite his loyalty to your father, he still showed you compassion and would even help you to go out more often than you were allowed. to 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Ren asked

You watched him closely; his pretty lips that were too inviting for your liking. His pretty, shining eyes. His curls. Everything about Ren was pretty and tempting. For a moment, you forgot all about your rage and instead felt rather playful. Why the hell not. “Want to help me to get dressed?”

Ren rolled his eyes in response and gently pushed you from him. “Don’t start.” It wasn’t a first time he was warning you. But did you listen? Not really.

You laughed instead. “Too bad for you!”

You pulled your shirt over your head, unbothered with his presence. In fact, you made sure to stand close enough to him, just to see if he still had it in him to resist. You had to give it to him; Ren had a strong self-control, but for how long? It wasn’t the first time you undressed with him in the room; you loved seeing him clench his fists, frowning as you were testing his patience.

“Y/N.” Ren called for you, his voice getting incredibly deep and dangerous, sending shivers down your spine. “You can’t keep doing that.” But did it stop him from admiring you? Did it stop him from looking at your fully exposed, pretty breasts? Absolutely not. Unknowingly to him, he licked his lips.

“Says who?” You challenged him, your hands slowly reaching for the buttons of your shorts.

It was apparently the wrong thing to say and to do. In a matter of seconds, he had you pinned against the wall, one hand wrapped around your throat while the other was holding your wrists above your head. His body was pressed against yours, warm and firm. A knee right between your thighs – you had to bite back a moan.

If he was trying to look intimidating, he was doing a poor job. Did he expect you to cower before him just because you were pinned against a wall? What a joke. His proximity set your whole body on fire. You didn’t care at all about getting dressed, you wanted him to touch you, to feel those lovely lips on your skin.

“Stop doing that.” He growled. A growl that vibrated through you.

“Do what?” You tried to look innocent, pretending not to know what you were doing.

Ren clicked his tongue in annoyance and moved his face closer, patience running thin. “I’m still a man remember?” His lips mere inches from yours, so easily to reach for, so tempting.

“Are you?” You dared him, wishing nothing more than for him to lose his self-control and have some fun.

It was a bad idea. A very bad idea. You knew, he knew. And nobody gave a damn.

“Fuck.” Ren cursed, his lips crashing against yours. He completely let go of your hands, letting you wrap your arms around his neck, letting you press yourself harder against him as you kissed him back with just as much intensity, with just as much need and despair.

Ren didn’t hesitate. He lifted you from the floor. You wrapped your legs around his middle, your mouth devouring his. Gone was the sweet-looking man, replaced with a hungry beast who wanted nothing more than devour you whole. And he did.

▾▾▾

Just like you had expected it, the party was not your cup of tea. Fortunately for you, whatever your father had planned for you, he didn’t expect it to happen right from the beginning which left you some very deserved freedom. Ren had followed you to the party, like expected from him, but instead of staying by your side like he would usually do, he chose to watch you from afar, looking dashing in his suit with his hair pushed back. He stared back at you, his face blank, making it impossible to guess what he was thinking about.

You licked your lips as memories of him between your legs, feasting on you, mere hours ago, played in your mind.

“I must say,” Soojin started saying, her eyes also on Ren, “This man is hot.”

You looked at your friend with a smile. You had met Soojin at one of those parties. She was bored, you were bored and just like that you had bonded. It wasn’t that hard considering how bold Soojin was. She was a free spirit, a beautiful young woman, an excellent actress who had your father fooled. Or maybe she was just that charming. Your father accepted your friendship and even let you meet her outside of those boring parties. You admired her for this miracle.

“I know.” You hid your smile in your drink.

“You’re hot too by the way.”

You knew you were. Despite your hatred for your father, you couldn’t deny that he had great taste when it came to clothes. Especially those you had to wear. He had chosen a long, sleeveless, bright red dress that hugged all your curves perfectly. “When am I not?”

“True!” She laughed heartily. “But there must be a special occasion or?”

See, in addition to being extremely beautiful and charming, she was also incredibly perceptive and clever. “Apparently, I’m about to meet his new business partner. I’m not looking forward.”

Soojin nodded her head in understanding. “Probably another rich, arrogant, old man.”

‘Just like my father.’ You wanted to add but refrained. Your face however said it all.

Soojin patted your arm. There wasn’t much she could do to help you except being herself and try to distract you from bad thoughts. But even that wouldn’t last.

Soojin noticed your father walking towards you with a frown. “Get ready, the monster is approaching.”

To avoid an open argument, you chose to join your father before he could reach the two of you. You gave Soojin a reassuring smile before looking back at your father. It was time to play pretend. With him and the others.

“Remember what I told you.” He said the moment you joined his side, linking your arm with his.

How could you forget. You put on your prettiest smile and walked with him. Two men were waiting for you in the middle of the room. One around your father’s age, looking dangerous and just evil with the way he was looking at people. The younger man, however, looked simply out of place.

“Rick!” The older man called for your father; a big smile plastered on his face.

Your father walked faster to reach the man, clearly excited. You, on the other hand, was dreading this encounter.

“Hope you’re enjoying the party.” Your father shook his hand with the man, before turning to you. “Kang, this is my daughter, Y/N.”

Kang eyed you from head to toe, eyes lingering longer than acceptable on your chest. You fought the urge to roll your eyes, instead, you outstretched your hand for him to shake. “Pleasure to meet you.” Except it wasn’t a pleasure at all.

“I must say, you are a very lucky man. Your daughter is really beautiful.” Kang commented, satisfied with your presence. Then, he pointed at the younger man beside him. “This is Matt, my son.”

Matt nodded his head to acknowledge your presence but surprisingly that was it. You quirked your brow, curious about the turn of event. You thought he would be like his father, watching you like a prize to win, but instead he barely looked at you, his interest completely somewhere else. Curious, you followed his eyes, only to find him looking at Ren. And you recognized that look. Matt was interested in your bodyguard.

‘Oh boy.’

You took advantage of the fact that your father was too busy discussing about business with Kang, to get closer to Matt. You put your hand on his arm and enjoyed how tensed this simple touch got him. He was not enjoying it while you definitely were.

“He’s pretty, isn’t he?” You whispered to Matt, startling him in the process.

“Wha-what?” He quickly cleared his throat, just in case his father would look his way. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Can’t blame you. Ren is pretty.” You completely ignored his attempt at hiding his preferences. You leaned even closer. From outside it looked like the two of you were really getting along, when in reality, you were simply making things clear with him. “But he’s mine.”

He was not. But Matt didn’t need to know that.

“I think, Y/N will make a fine wife.” Kang’s comment brought your attention back on them.

You cringed at his words from inside. Of course, he would make a comment like that, it was expected but still, it disgusted you to no end. It was one thing dealing with your father and his view of the world, or his opinion about women but it was a whole different story dealing with his acolytes.

Your father laughed at his comment. “I’m looking for a good husband. It’s time for her to settle down.”

His words left you speechless. Since when had he been thinking about marriage? Worse yet, why was Kang looking at you like a potential bride? Then it dawned on you that the reason your father wanted so badly to introduce you to Kang wasn’t only to show his pretty daughter. No. He wanted to sell you off.

No. You couldn’t let that happen. Never.

With shaky hands, you looked at Kang and then at your father who with just one glance understood that you were about to go against his orders.

“If you’ll excuse me.” You turned your back on them and walked away as fast as you could, back to the safety of Soojin’s company.

There would be consequences for your disobedience, but right now you couldn’t care less.

“Bad luck?” Soojin handed you a shot of vodka, surprised they would even have it at the party – you emptied it in one go. “That bad huh.”

“Bunch of assholes.” You wanted to punch someone, to relieve your anger, sadly, Ren couldn’t save you from yourself this time, instead, you grabbed another shot and another.

“Are you going to be ok?” Soojin worried, realizing that your behavior would mean trouble for you.

You looked at her, pondering whether you should tell her the truth or not. Scratch that, it was Soojin, of course you could tell her. “I guess I deserve a slap at best.” Soojin winced. “Don’t worry.”

“Hard not to.”

You sighed in defeat and grabbed another shot. “Soojin.” You stared at your shot, your anger completely vanished, only to be replaced with sadness. “I need to find a way to escape and make sure he never finds me.”

“What are you planning to do?”

You wished you knew. You brought your shot to your lips – a shot you never get to finish as you found yourself staring at an unfamiliar face across the room. An extremely handsome face. Black hair, sharp jaw, strong nose, plump lips, pretty, dark eyes. He wore black trousers, black shirt with three undone buttons, rolled sleeves that revealed strong, veiny forearms (which happened to be one of your many weaknesses).

‘Well shit.’ Maybe your night wasn’t a waste of time after all. You stared at him, shamelessly, not minding for a second that he could catch you, in fact, you wanted him to look at you. Why not make this night a little bit more exciting?

It didn’t take him long to notice you and you had to admit that his piercing eyes sent shivers down your spine in both excitement and fear of what could come out of it. He stared at you with just as much intensity, interest and a hint of amusement. He brought his glass to his lips to hide the beginning of a really pretty smile.

“Who’s that?” You asked Soojin because despite hating those parties, she understood this world the best and she knew all the people in this room.

Soojin followed your gaze and paled at the sight of the man. “Oh hell no. Forget about it right now, Y/N.” She spoke quickly, clearly panicking at your sudden interest in the man. She knew, you were reckless, daring, always scheming which always got you in trouble and this time wouldn’t be different if she didn’t try to stop you. “He’s someone you don’t want to mess with. I heard that-“

Too late, you were already walking over.

▾▾▾

He watched your every move, your every step - it made you smile; you had his full attention. You could have walked straight to him and start a conversation but where would the fun be? You stopped by the table near him and his friend, pretending to look for the food and not for them, not for him. You could feel his eyes on you but it didn’t stop him from talking to his friend either.

“Damn, this looks yummy.” His friend commented while eying the food on the table, drooling on the spot.

“I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.” You commented with a chuckle. You pointed at the food that indeed looked good. “Saw few people leaving and throwing their guts up after eating from this table.”

The man jumped, startled, from the table as if it had burned him. His shocked face was quite endearing, you had to admit. But of course, your attention was all on the mysterious man - he smirked, noticing how you couldn’t stop yourself from watching him.

“You should thank your savior, Jisung.”

And he did, without hesitation. Jisung took a step towards you and gently grabbed your hand. “Thank you, my lady.” And with that he planted a soft kiss on your knuckles.

“Y/N is fine.” You laughed at his behavior. You didn’t expect to be called a lady and even less have your hands kissed (on second thought, you were glad it was from someone as lovely as Jisung and not as disgusting as Kang); he didn’t look like an old fashion man. Never judge a book by its cover, you should know that better than anyone.

“Y/N. Lovely. I’m Jisung and the broody friend is Chris.” Feeling bold, he leaned closer to you. “He looks scary but he’s actually a teddy bear.”

Chris sighed at the description. He could always count on his friends to make fun of him in any possible situation and destroy his reputation and probably ruin his chances with any hot woman. He did his best looking menacing, making sure that boring, greedy people just wouldn’t strike up a conversation with him.

“Ok, that’s enough.” He grabbed his friend’s arm and pulled him away from you in case he would try to get even more touchy and daring. “Please ignore him.”

You waved your hand. “I think he’s cute.”

Chris snorted at that. “As cute as he can get.” He outstretched his hand for you to shake. “Pleasure to meet you, Y/N.”

Oh boy, you liked the sound of your name coming out of his mouth. Without hesitation, you shook his hand, smiling widely.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.” Chris commented, still holding your hand. You could have pulled away any time, but it felt too nice for you to let go. “I would have remembered.”

You would have remembered him too. How could you not when he was looking so damn good? And more importantly, he felt different from the other people present in the room. You didn’t doubt he was part of this world, but he didn’t have this arrogant, rich aura around him.

“I hate attending these stupid parties.” You admitted and he finally let go of your hand. You almost whined at the loss. Almost.

“Ha!” Jisung scoffed loudly and nudged his friend. “He too hates these parties. I come for the food.”

Soojin would have loved this guy. Your smile softened at his remark. “I-“

“There you are, Y/N.” You got interrupted by Ren. He had his hand on your back, ready to pull you away from the two men. Whenever you were happy about it or not.  

Was it just an impression or the temperature in the room dropped by few degrees? Ren looked incredibly pissed; a vein popped out in his neck as he looked straight at Chris. If looks could kill both Chris and Jisung would be dead.

“You always have a bad timing.” Jisung commented, still smiling, but he didn’t sound that excited anymore.

You didn’t know what to think. They obviously knew each other which meant either Ren had worked for them at one point in his life or they had been enemies for a while. Did it mean they were your father’s enemy? You wondered.

You grabbed Ren’s arm, making sure that he wouldn’t do something stupid. He was always calm, composed, but right now he seemed ready to throw punches and you really didn’t want that.

“You chose the wrong side, Ren.” Chris finally said but his eyes moved to you, understanding dawned on him.

Ren rolled his eyes at his words. “Did I give you the impression that I care about your opinion?”

Before the situation could get out of hands you moved and stood right between Ren and Chris. You glanced at Chris, feeling sorry that you didn’t get a chance to spend more time with him and see where it could lead, before averting your eyes to Ren. “That’s enough. Let’s go?”

▾▾▾

The moment you got back home, you completely ignored Ren, not even sparing him a glance, still upset with how the night had unfolded. He let you leave without a word, knowing there was no point in talking, no point in fighting. He had done his job.

You sat on the floor by the window, watching the stars in silence. Except in your head, it was far from silent, thoughts running wild. You couldn’t stop thinking about Chris, about his interaction with Ren, his realization about who was your father.

“Where’s this wench?!” You heard your father yelling through the house – you winced and wrapped your arms around yourself, to give you strength or maybe in hope to protect yourself.

Just from his yelling alone, you knew he was furious. Best behavior? You forgot all about it and he was ready to make you pay for it. You wished there was something you could do to prevent him from coming to your room, but even if you tried, it would only make things worse for you.

“Dammit.” You cursed

“She’s sleeping.” You heard Ren’s voice right behind your door.

“Move.” Your father ordered but Ren did none of that. “Are you defying me right now?”

“Of course not, Boss.” But he was, you thought to yourself. He was trying to stop your father from getting his hands on you which made your heart ache. You made his life difficult and he still tried to defend you in his own twisted, sometimes, way. “But I think she had her share of emotions for the night.”

You didn’t think Ren could convince your father to spare you, but his words clearly caught his attention as you heard him ask, “What do you mean?”

“Christopher was at the party. She met him.” There was a dead silence, following Ren’s words. You couldn’t, obviously, see your father’s reaction, but whatever it was, Chris’s name made him pause.

“What did he say to her?” Your father finally asked, much calmer now, and yet, you swore there was something in his voice. Could it be panic? It couldn’t be.

“I’m not sure.” Ren admitted, “I don’t think she spent much time in his presence.”

“Good. I don’t need this bastard getting any closer to her.”

You heard him loud and clear. If your father hated Chris so much, then it was your chance to start planning. Maybe Chris was just as bad as your father, maybe he wasn’t, but you knew you needed a way out.

You grabbed your phone and texted Soojin, the only person you could really count on and someone who was really good at looking into someone’s life.

You stared at your phone and thought for a moment. Soojin had a point, even if it pained you to admit it. Even if you managed to get out and reach Chris, you had nothing to give him in exchange for his help. There was nothing you could give him to help him to get rid of your father.

But you soon realized that it wasn’t entirely true. It was still night and you were at your father’s place which meant you could sneak around and try to find valuable information. Was it risky? Hell yes. Did you have a choice? Not really.

With this goal on mind, you left the safety of your room and prayed to whoever wished to listen that you would not get caught.

▾▾▾

Your father’s office was too big for your liking. There were so many places to look through and not enough time. It was the middle of the night, but you couldn’t be hundred percent sure your father wouldn’t come to his office. He was after all a workaholic which meant you had to be quick.

You looked through his papers, trying to find information about his business and especially his illegal activities but there were none which didn’t make sense. Was your father that careful? That paranoid? Or was he just so good at hiding his dirty secrets?

There must be something. You refused to give up so easily. You looked through his drawers but still nothing. It was slowly driving you crazy. But then, when you thought all hope was lost, a frame caught your eyes. It was a picture of your mom and a very young you. You didn’t take your father for a sentimental, not after what he had done to your mom. The official story was she had filed for divorce and left. But you knew better.

You grabbed the frame and stilled for a moment. Your heart ached at the sight of your mom. Ever since her disappearance, you avoided looking at the pictures. Too scared of your feelings, of the pain that would follow. You missed her, so much. Living with both your father and your mom was hard, but mom’s presence had always made things bearable. Whenever your father got violent, she was always there to mend your wounds. She did her best with what she had and you always loved her for that.

“I miss you, mom.” You whispered, fingers trailing over the picture.

Just when you were about to put it back to its place, you felt something brushing your fingers on the back of the frame. “What-“ You turned it around only to find an usb-stick taped on the frame.

“I thought I heard you sneak out.” Ren’s voice startled you, giving you a heart attack.

“Bloody hell, Ren!!” You muffled your yell. “What are you doing here?”

Ren quirked a brow at you. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking this question? Are you out of your mind?”

You quickly hid the frame behind your back, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He did but chose not to comment. Instead, he stayed by the door, fists clenched.

The tension was thick between the two of you. You, still upset about his behavior earlier at the party. Him, upset with you sneaking around and looking for more trouble. He managed, by some miracle, to stop your father from punishing you, but should you be caught tonight, there was nothing he would be able to do to protect you. And it pained him, more than you could know.

“Whatever you’re planning. Don’t.”

Of course, he would say something like that. You kept your lips sealed in fear of revealing too much and risking your plan.

“You know there’s nothing you can do.”

But you could, he just hadn’t realized it yet.

“Y/N,” Ren took a step toward you but stilled. He shook his head and held back. “He will ask me to bring you back.” And here you had thought, he didn’t know about your plan. “And you know I will come for you. I always will.”

If only he could disregard his loyalty to your father, his words would have been so much more meaningful. Still, your treacherous heart fluttered at his voice.

“I really don’t want to hurt you.” He admitted, “Not again.”

With that, Ren left.

▾▾▾

Escaping your house was never the hardest part in your different plans. Sometimes, because it amused your father, sometimes because he didn’t care until he needed you. Today was no exception. You walked out of the house without trouble. No Ren on sight which did worry you for a moment but in the end, it was for the better. You couldn’t imagine yourself dealing with him right now, because he would know what you were up to.

Soojin didn’t disappoint you. Two days, it was the time it took her to gather all the information she could on Chris. About his business, about his life - it was impressive. He was a very powerful man without big scandals which, in your opinion, was remarkable. Soojin tried to dig as much as she could, wanting to find dirt on him and prove to you that getting involved with him was a very bad idea. She found nothing. Either the stories about him were just some baseless rumors or he was really good at concealing the truth. Honestly? You didn’t care. He was your only hope and you were willing to make a deal with the devil if it meant freedom.

That was how you found yourself walking straight to his company’s headquarters. You weren’t invited, had no meetings planned but you were a confident, strong woman who knew how to behave to get what you wanted.

For the past twenty-four hours, you went through different scenarios, wanting to be as ready as you could be once facing the different obstacles. However, once you got to the reception, you were met with a sight you had not counted on at all. Jisung was leaning against the counter, chatting happily with a pretty brunette, clearly flirting. The sight of the man brought a small smile on your face. Maybe you had all the chances to get what you wanted.

“Hey Jisung!” You called after him, walking slowly towards him.

“Y/N!” He almost squealed at the sight of you.

After spending so much time with fake people, you could tell when someone was pretending, Jisung, however, seemed genuinely happy seeing you.

He surprised you once more by hugging you tightly as if you had been friends for years. You wouldn’t have minded. “What are you doing here?”

“To see Chris.”

If he was surprised, he didn’t show it. Jisung looked over his shoulder, at the brunette and smiled. “I’ll take her to see the boss.”

“But-“ She was ready to protest. You couldn’t tell whether Jisung worked here or if they were just used to see him because he was Chris’s friend but clearly, he was going against the rules.

“It’s okay, don’t worry!” He reassured her by being a sunshine. He was really charming.

He showed you the way to the lift. Only when the doors were fully closed, he looked back at you. “He’s not expecting you, is he?”

“Of course not.” You smirked proudly

Jisung laughed loudly, clapping his hands in delight. “Oh you’re such a naughty little thing. I like you.”

▾▾▾

“Okay, so we might need to wait a little. I think he’s not done with the meeting.” Jisung said as he pointed at a huge wooden door that apparently led to Chris’s office.

The reasonable thing to do would be to listen to Jisung and wait patiently for your turn. But were you a patient woman? Sometimes, yes. Most of the time, no. And right now, you just couldn’t wait. You wanted to see the man and hopefully make a deal with him.

You glanced at Jisung, feeling almost sorry for him - he would get in trouble for bringing you here, you guessed. “Sorry, Jisung.”

“Sorry? For wha-“ He couldn’t finish his sentence as he saw you walking to the door. He realized too late what were your intentions. He palmed his face in despair, he was about to get his ass whooped, for sure.

You barged inside the office while your confidence hadn’t worn off. You eyed the room, noticing that there were at least ten people in the room, looking all positively shocked with your rude (according to them, you bet) interruption. You quickly disregarded their confused-angry-appalled look and averted your eyes to the man you were dying to see. He looked just as handsome as in your memory, if not better, wearing a suit. His aura was still as impressive, screaming power and strength.

A tiny part of you squirmed under his glare, but just a tiny part.

If Chris was surprised seeing you, he didn’t show it. He glanced over your shoulder, giving a stern glance at the poor Jisung (you really felt bad for involving him) before his eyes were back on you.

You stared at each other for a moment, ignoring the world surrounding you. You weren’t particularly fond of the attention but right now it seemed like a little to price to pay to have Chris’s eyes on you.

“Leave us.” Chris ordered, dismissing his people without even sparing a glance.

They all hurried to get out of the room as if sensing things could get out of control real quick. Was it because of your presence? Or was it also because of Jisung? You wondered.

“I tried to stop her!” You heard Jisung saying behind you, whining.

“I’ll deal with you later.” Chris replied with a roll of his eyes. “Leave us and don’t eavesdrop.”

Jisung muttered under his nose but did as he was told.

“He really tried.” You tried to defend him.

Chris, to your surprise, chuckled. “No, he didn’t.”

‘Thank god, he’s not angry.’ You told yourself, a tad relieved.

“Don’t get me wrong, Y/N, it’s a pleasure seeing you again so soon. But, what are you doing here?”

“Interrupting your meeting?” You played coy.

Chris ignored your attempt, seeing right through you. “Does your father know you’re here?”

You checked the time on your watch. “Well, by now, he might know I escaped. Again.”

Chris looked both impressed and pleased with your answer. Obviously, he knew nothing about you except for the fact that you were his enemy’s daughter.

“Why would you escape? He’s your family.” He asked, genuinely curious.

You scoffed. How could he say that? Didn’t he know what kind of man your father was? No, he was testing you.

“Please. You don’t strike me as a fool. I’m sure you know what kind of man, my father is. You know his worth.”

Chris stayed quiet for a moment, observing you. It was nerve wrecking. “Why are you here, Y/N?”

He tapped his fingers on the table, waiting for you to explain yourself.

It was now or never, you knew it, he knew it and yet no words left your mouth. It wasn’t like you to lose your composure but maybe your nerves were finally at their limits or maybe you were losing your shit because of importance of what you had to ask of him.

You dismissed your thoughts and your fear, you could do it. You walked towards him, hoping you looked confident and convincing enough. You sat on the edge of his desk and crossed your legs, getting comfortable.

Slowly, Chris’s gaze lowered to your exposed legs. Really, how could he resist when it was so nicely presented to him. After all, he was just a man. A powerful man, but still a man. You weren’t trying to seduce him, not yet, but if it helped your case then, why the hell not.

“I need your help.” You admitted. “I don’t know what’s kind of relationship you have with my father, but I believe you’re the only one who can help me to get free.”

Chris, from the moment you walked inside his office, guessed your visit had something to do with your father. In fact, he was convinced he was the one sending you as an offering, it would definitely be his style. A nice offering, he would admit; you were a pretty woman, with bright eyes, pretty plump lips and amazing curves that did not go unnoticed by Chris.

But this? This, he did not see it coming.

Chris stood up, towering over you easily. He put his hands on each side of your body, trapping you as he leaned closer. His proximity was overwhelming but you refused to budge. You let him study your face, looking for any signs of lies. He found none.

“You’re really serious about this.” It wasn’t a question but you nodded either way.

He let go of you and took a step back. “Let’s say I agree to help you. What makes you think you’ll be free? Do you expect me to help you out of good will?” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I’m not a good man, Y/N.”

“Maybe you aren’t, but are you worse than my father?” You asked, genuinely curious. He could of course lie to you, but you had the impression that he was rather trying to paint a bad image of himself in order to make you fear him.

“Depends on whom you ask.”

You jumped from the desk and got closer to him. As you watched him, you came to realization that there was no way he could be worse than your father, just because he was trying to look like a villain.

“Let me ask you this, then.” You grabbed his hand and you had to resist the urge to look at it because hell it felt nice. Chris’s frown, on the other hand, deepened as he looked at your hand. “Let’s pretend for a second that I’m your girl and because I’m a brat, I decide to disobey you. Would you lock me up?”

“What?” His eyes snapped back to your face, clearly taken aback.

“You heard me.”

Chris should have been surprised with your words but sadly, he wasn’t. Your questions showed only what you went through and he expected nothing less from a man like your father. An insect who believed he could rule the world and treat people like shit.

“No, I wouldn’t.”

You let go of his hand took few steps back. “See, you’re already better than him.

Chris closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “Give me time to think this over.”

You wished you could. You let go of his arm and smiled sadly. “Sadly, time is the only thing I don’t have.”

▾▾▾

Instead of sending you home, Chris asked Jisung to take you for a coffee. It gave you hope, maybe he wasn’t about to refuse to help you after all. You accepted without much protest and Jisung was too happy to oblige.

“Sorry for putting you into a bad position.” You apologized as Jisung put the cup of coffee before you.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure Chris was happy with the interruption. He’s not fond of those meetings.” Jisung was way too nice which made you think that angering this man wouldn’t be easy. Not like you were planning to. “By the way, why are you here?”

You could have come up with a lie, easily, but something about Jisung made you trust him instantly. Maybe because he was so likable or maybe because Chris trusted him. Probably both. “I need his help to escape from my father.” 

Jisung chocked on his coffee, coughing strongly, hitting his chest to recover. Someone was not expecting this kind of answer from you.

“I knew there was a reason I liked you right away.” Jisung laughed, clapping his hands.

“I know, I’m charming like that.” You flipped your hair playfully. “I just hope he’ll accept.”

Jisung hummed, pondering on the question. He knew his friend well enough to guess that Chris would avoid useless conflicts if he could, however this time he wasn’t so sure. Chris wasn’t fond of your father, far from it even, there was a high possibility that he wouldn’t mind messing with him. Jisung would gladly help too.

“I don’t think he’ll say no. You’re offering him an opportunity to mess with your father. I bet he’s tempted.”

Whether Jisung was sincere or not, his words gave you hope. But not for long. Your attention went from Jisung to the man walking through the doors. You tensed, gasping in surprise. You thought you had more time before your father or his men would realize that you hadn’t left for shopping or for a walk. Worse yet, you expected to see Ren. But no, John was the one who walked through the door, his eyes finding you right away.

Your change of mood didn’t go unnoticed. “What’s wrong?”

He had his answer before you could even think about it. Without invitation, without even caring about checking his surroundings because he was just that arrogant and confident, John sat at your table, looking relaxed and unbothered, clearly Jisung’s presence meant nothing to him. Or maybe he didn’t look enough to recognize a threat when faced with one. His mistake.

“You’re getting sloppy, Y/N.” John commented, taping his fingers on the table. “You know why I’m here.”

To say that you were a tad worried would be an understatement. You had to think quickly, to find a way out without getting hurt and without bringing even more trouble to Jisung.

“Yeah.” You sighed, annoyed with the turn of the event. “And you know I won’t come with you.”

“And you know I’ll make you. You can either make it easy for both of us or-“

Jisung, bless the man, chuckled at the interaction. Apparently, John wasn’t the only unbothered one in the room. “And I think, you completely forgot where you are.”

Jisung’s whole demeanor changed from cheerful to dead cold - you shivered in response. What a whiplash. Here you thought he was a sweet and odd person by Chris’s side. You should have known better. He wasn’t just a friend. No, he was much more and you should have noticed it sooner.

John seemed to finally notice the man sitting beside him and for the first time you saw a glimpse of fear and recognition in his eyes.

‘Who’s getting sloppy huh.’ You thought, repressing a chuckle.

“You-“ John stuttered, recognizing the man by his side. He slid his hand in his jacket, trying to reach for his gun.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Because Jisung was much faster. He was half turned and was pointing his gun under the table.

John hesitated, eyes darting back and forth between you and Jisung. You had to admit that you were feeling particularly confident just because of the way Jisung behaved - seeing John squirming under his gaze was worth the risk.

“I would advise, you go back to your boss without causing any more trouble.”

“She has to come back with me.” John groaned. Obviously, he didn’t want to cause ruckus in the middle of a cafe and deal with Jisung, but coming back without you would make his life much more difficult.

“Nope.” Jisung pointed at you, “The pretty girl stays with me.”

What a flirt.

You blew him a kiss.

▾▾▾

It was extremely satisfying to watch John leave empty handed. You felt more relaxed and confident - you had made the right choice to come to Chris. Now, all you needed was for him to accept the deal.

Jisung brought you back to Chris’s office once sure John wouldn’t follow you and attempt anything reckless.

He didn’t.

“You’re out of your mind! Please stop thinking with your dick and think with your brain!” A loud and angry voice echoed from the half-opened door of Chris’s office.

Jisung stopped you right away by gently grabbing your arm and pulling you against his chest. He sighed, clearly recognizing the voice.

“You always have stupid ideas. She’s a brat. Worse yet, she’s his daughter! Why the hell would you bother with her?”

Jisung shook his head in disapproval before looking apologetically at you. “Sorry.”

You raised your hand to stop him from apologizing. He hadn’t done anything wrong and whoever was behind those words obviously knew nothing about you.

You winked playfully before storming inside like you owned the place, wanting to face the two men. Chris only quirked a brow at your presence while the other man’s frown only deepened at the sight of you. If looks could kill you would be dead. But instead of being intimidated (you definitely were), you chose to play it cool - you smiled sweetly at them.

“Y/N, this is Minho, a friend.” Chris introduced the angry man.

Just to spite him some more, you waved your hand cheerfully. “Hi, Minho.” Of course, he didn’t return the greeting but you didn’t mind. His opinion meant nothing to you.

Chris shook his head at your behavior, half amused half desperate. “Leave us, guys.”

“It’s a bad idea.” Minho muttered, not bothering hiding his displeasure.

“Come on.” Jisung almost pounced at Minho, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “They have to talk; we have no business in there.”

Minho had little choice but to follow Jisung judging by how strong his grip around him was. On his way out, Jisung winked at you, encouraging you. Yet, before leaving, he looked over his shoulder, at Chris. “Just so you know, they tried to get her back.” And with that he left the two of you alone, making sure to close the door behind them.

You realized that Jisung’s presence was comforting. Now, that you were standing alone with Chris, you were scared. Not of him, obviously, but about his decision. “So. What’s your answer?”

Chris watched you like a hawk for a moment which, despite your effort, unnerved you. He took slow steps towards you, hands in his pockets, looking as nonchalant as possible, stopping mere inches from you. You couldn’t ignore the warmth radiating from his body, his scent invading your senses – it would be so easy to get lost in him.

“I’ll take you to my place for the timing being.” He finally said

His answer should have made you happy, but it didn’t. “Another cage?”

Chris shook his head. “What you’re asking of me isn’t that easy. I need you to stay discrete for a while. Once Rick understands that I’m not giving you back, he’ll do something stupid.”

Sadly, you couldn’t refute it. You didn’t know to what extent your father would go in order to get you back and you didn’t really want to imagine it either.

“Maybe he’ll ask his dog to bring you back.”

“John? Already tried and failed thanks to Jisung.”

Chris shook his head and laughed. “Oh no, I wasn’t talking about John. Ren.”

You felt a flash of irritation at his words. Ren was someone you deeply cared for, even if he was your father’s man. Even if he had made the wrong choices. “Don’t talk about him like that.” For a short second you forgot you were supposed to be nice, to stay on his good side, but the moment he insulted your friend, you lost it.

Chris was half surprised with your sudden hostility. From what he saw at the party, the two of you were close but he didn’t imagine to this extent. “Is he your lover? Really?”

“He’s my friend.”

“Oh Y/N. I doubt it. But fine. I apologize for my poor choice of words.”

Scared your voice would betray your annoyance, you simply nodded your head. You couldn’t really pick a fight with Chris, not when you needed his help. Which reminded you; he still didn’t mention the price for his help.

“Chris, what do you want in exchange for your help?”

“I’ll come up with something.” Was all he said.

It should have terrified you. What if in the end he would ask something impossible to give? What if it was something that could make your life worse? Did you have any choice? Not really.

▾▾▾

Chris’s place was huge, not like you expected anything less from this man. Everything inside was either black or white which gave a rather classy atmosphere to the place. And the view – you would die to have such a view. Huge bay windows that led to a giant balcony, giving a perfect view on the town.

“Wah!” You squealed at the view, unable to refrain yourself from running to the window to admire the sight. It was dark outside but the city’s lights gave an almost eerie atmosphere that captivated you.

“Here,” Chris approached you, “You can have my t-shirt to sleep in. I’ll get you clothes and everything you need tomorrow.”

You glanced over your shoulder and smiled. “Thank you.” You weren’t only thanking him for the clothes. No, you were thanking him for everything he was doing for you. Technically, you were a stranger to him, he had no obligations towards you and yet, there you were.

Slowly, you returned your attention to the town. You wrapped your arms around yourself, comforting yourself. You were free. You did it.

“You’re ok?” Chris worried. You might be his enemy’s daughter, but you were also a human with deep wounds – he saw them, even if you tried to hide behind your smiles and confidence.

“Yeah. Feels weird to be free.” You admitted and chuckled at your silliness. “Well, almost free.” You turned, this time, to fully face him. In this dim light he looked even more handsome which shouldn’t be allowed. “Why did you really agree on helping me?”

Chris took another step towards you, hesitated before touching your cheek. His soft touch took you off guard but it was also comforting - you leaned into his touch, welcoming it.

“Let’s say, I have a soft spot for damsels in distress.”

Living with Chris promised to be an interesting experience.

▾▾▾

The very next day, just like Chris had promised, he had, everything you needed, delivered to you. You supposed he would be the one bringing it to you but no, half awake, you were met with a very loud, cheerful and now familiar voice.

“Special delivery!” Jisung yelled through the whole place just to make sure you would hear him and be aware of his presence.

Impossible to miss.

When you joined Jisung in the main room, he surprised you with tons of bags on the floor waiting for you. You halted, eyeing all the bags suspiciously. “Are these all for me?”

“Yep.” Jisung confirmed, “I picked everything myself!”

“Should I worry?” He looked way too excited and smug about it. Something was fishy. Had to.

“Probably.” He didn’t even try to deny, smirking. He plopped on the couch, acting as if this place was actually his (and maybe in a way it was seeing how close he and Chris were). “Check it.”

As you approached the bag, you kept your eyes on Jisung. “You look too excited for my liking. What did you do?”

Jisung gasped, feigning being hurt as he put his hand over his chest. “How can you doubt me like that?”

“Call it a hunch.”

Despite his smug expression, the first two bags were rather innocent; dresses, jeans, all kind of clothes. Too many clothes in your opinion. Another bag was filled with skincare and different brands of makeup – you glanced at Jisung wondering how he guessed what you needed and what you liked but he only shrugged in response. Either he had done some serious research on you or he was just good like that.

The fourth bag was the one that made you pause, pull the item from it and then groan. Red, lacy lingerie. Definitely your style, definitely sexy, but absolutely unnecessary. “What the hell, Jisung?”

“What? It’s hot!” He pointed at the lingerie, excited. “This will look good on you!”

“Yeah, but why the hell would I need it?”

“To seduce.”

“Who? You?”

Jisung actually laughed at that. “Me? Consider me already seduced.”

You shook your head, chuckling at his joke but really, you wouldn’t mind wearing this piece of clothes for Chris. You slapped yourself mentally for the thought. There was definitely something wrong with you.

“Hey Ji, thank you.”

▾▾▾

Despite spending most of your life in a rich household, it didn’t prevent you from developing some useful skills such as cooking. For some it was a sign you were a good wife-to-be, for others it was a waste of time. For you? It was a hobby you truly enjoyed.

There wasn’t much you could do to thank Chris for everything he was doing for you, but cooking a nice meal for the two of you seemed like a good plan. A part of you did it to thank him, but it was also a way for you to distract yourself from annoying thoughts. And boredom.

Music in your ears, a glass of wine in your hand, you danced and sang while cooking, wearing one of Chris’s shirts. You could have changed into your new clothes, but really, his clothes were just much more comfortable.

You were moving to the rhythm of the music, swinging your hips, bobbing your head– you hadn’t felt this good in years.  Completely in your own little world, you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings, you hadn’t noticed the moment Chris got back. Until it was too late.

The moment you turned around and saw him leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, looking amazing, smiling at you – you froze. You took your headphones off your head and smiled sheepishly at him. “Hi?”

“You know, I can get used to that.” Chris admitted, clear fondness in his voice.

Even if Chris had accepted to help you and brought you to live with him, he had absolutely no clue how the cohabitation would work. He didn’t know you. But the sight of you, so comfortable, so relaxed and so lively – he found it endearing. You were nothing like your father and far from a brat.

Instead of feeling embarrassed, you felt even more at ease. There was something with Chris that made you feel safe, comforted, in fact, it felt like you were long lost friends, despite being strangers.

Chris eyed your outfit for a moment, eyes lingering longer than necessary on your exposed legs. “I thought Jisung brought you clothes.” He pushed himself from the wall and walked slowly towards you. Despite the pretty smile still on his face, there was a predatory glimpse in his eyes that caused your heart to flutter. The traitor.

“He did.” You answered as you watched him getting closer to you.

He stopped right before you. There was nowhere for you to run, to hide; you were half trapped between the counter and a smiling Chris. “And?”

“Your shirt is more comfortable.” You joked, “Moreover, trust me, you don’t want me wearing the clothes he brought.” That was a half lie. Yes, Jisung had brought you tons of sexy outfits that were useless since you would be staying at Chris’s place most of the time, but there were also normal, casual clothes.

Chris arched a brow, clearly amused with your explanation and not that surprised either knowing his friend. “Why?”

Feeling particularly bold tonight, you smirked and pushed him gently off your way. “Wouldn’t want you to fall in love with me.”

Chris burst into laughter; his laugh was like music to your ears. Maybe you were the one in danger after all.

“Want a glass of wine?”

“With pleasure.”

▾▾▾

Chris surprised you once more by leaving one morning a phone for you with a note.

“I figured you might need it. Add whoever you need, but be careful.”

There wasn’t much in it except for his, Jisung and Minho’s number. Just in case. You perfectly understood why he saved Jisung’s number – in a matter of days, this man had become your favorite person. Minho’s number, on the other hand, was not needed. You could have deleted his number right away, but reasoned yourself; Chris had added his number for a reason, you couldn’t get rid of it like that.

You plopped on the couch, legs under your butt, you stared at your phone. You wanted so badly to add Soojin’s number, number that you had memorized long ago, and talk to her. You wanted her to know that you had escaped and that you were safe, but you couldn’t do it. Not that you didn’t trust your friend, no; your father knew about your relationship with her which put her in danger and risked your freedom.

Ren’s face crossed your mind. His number too, you knew by heart. A tiny part of you worried for him. Did his father get rid of him because he had failed? Did John blamed him for not being able to get you back? There was no way for you to know without exposing yourself.

With a long and tired sigh, you threw your head back. You closed your eyes for a moment and thought about what you should do. There wasn’t much you could do despite having Chris’s whole place for you, you were getting bored.

Since there was nothing to do and your thoughts were getting too much for you, you grabbed your phone and decided to text Chris.

You sighed again, disappointed with his response. You understood perfectly that he was a busy man and he didn’t have time to always entertain you, but you couldn’t stop yourself from hoping he would spend some time with you.

‘Oh well.’

▾▾▾

The next morning, you were woken up by noises coming from the kitchen. it took you a moment to realize, in surprise, that you were back in your bed while you remembered clearly falling asleep on the couch while watching a movie. You stared at your blanket; did Chris carry you to your bed? This simple thought brought a tiny smile to your face.

Eagerly, you jumped out of your bed and walked out of your room. You followed the delicious smell of pancakes – your stomach grumbled in response.

You had to admit that it was a rather odd sight: Chris in the kitchen. Seeing this big, powerful and dangerous (according to rumors) man preparing breakfast, was both amusing and charming. Chris had prepared everything; pancakes, coffee, juice, fruits – it was everything you liked and everything you needed.

“Morning.” As you watched him setting the table, you thought about his remark when he saw you cooking. You had to agree, you could get used to it too.

“Good morning. Hope you like pancakes.”

“Love it.” And even if you didn’t, you would have said the same thing because he did it for you. How could you complain?

“Did you steal another of my shirt?” Chris watched you, sipping his coffee in peace.

“Me? No!” That was obviously a lie, as if Chris wouldn’t recognize his own clothes, but you felt in rather playful mood. He arched a brow at your blatant lie. “Fine! I did. So what? Sue me!”

Chris put his cup back on the table and got closer to you. Your eyes locked, he played with the edge of the shirt that was barely hiding your body since you were sitting.

“Or I can just take it off.” He suggested

You opened your mouth ready for another snarky remark but nothing came out of your mouth. He let go of the shirt, only to put his hands on your thighs. His hands felt warm against your skin, nevertheless you shivered.

“You’re a tempting little thing.” Chris admitted

“Look who’s talking.” Your voice came out shaky, betraying your state of mind. You wanted to blame your needs but really it was all because of Chris.

You sincerely thought Chris would kiss you, in fact, you prayed he would. Sadly for you, he pulled back, shook his head as if to convince himself that it was a bad idea. It was probably a bad idea but you found yourself not caring much about it.

“I’ll see you tonight.”

▾▾▾

▾▾▾

Despite your impressive (according to Chris) cooking skills, you were human which meant that from time to time you craved some junk food. Luckily for you, you had a new phone (bless Chris for that) which helped you to order some crispy chicken and fries.

You put everything on a plate and brought it to the couch where you had prepared your little nestle (which meant tons of pillows and a huge fluffy blanket that surprisingly you found in Chris’s room). You looked at your work proudly, satisfied with the outcome, before finally plopping on the couch.

For a moment, you scrolled through a very long selection of movies, trying to figure out what was your mood for the night. You glanced to the side, through the windows; it was already late and dark outside, rain pouring. You switched the light off, welcoming the darkness.

A good horror movie sounded perfect. You went for Conjuring 2; no matter how many times you had watched this movie, it still gave you the creeps and you loved it.

Completely immersed in the movie you didn’t notice Chris’s presence, not like it was the first time either. Except this time, the moment he switched the light on, you screamed, almost throwing the plate from your laps.

“Bloody hell!” You put your hand over your chest, your heart ready to jump out of it.

“Hi?” He said half sorry half trying to hold back his laugh.

“I think, I won’t survive living with you.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

You stuck your tongue in response. Yes, very adult of you.

Chris shook his head, smiling fondly at your antics. “Mind if I join you after a shower?”

“Sure. There’s some chicken left. Fries, not so much, sorry.”

“Chicken it is then.”

But by the time Chris came back you managed to prepare some additional dishes to satisfy his hunger. He came back wearing black sweat pants and a white t-shirt. His hair still completely wet, in fact some water was still dripping from his head to his neck, attracted your attention to the point you forgot all about the movie. Nobody should be allowed to look that good in sweatpants, but we were talking about Chris, he made everything look good on him.

You sighed to yourself and pulled the blanket closer to your face, wishing it could swallow you whole, wishing to hide the unbearable attraction. You didn’t know how long you could keep this up. The two of you kept flirting, there was no other way to describe your banter, your closeness.

Chris took his place beside you and the moment his eyes landed on the TV; he regretted his decision. He slowly turned his head to you, ready to give any valid or not excuse if it could save him from a horror movie.

“Why are you hiding?” He asked surprised that you would be hiding when you were the one to choose the movie. “Is it that scary?”

You lowered the blanket for a short moment, revealing only half of your face – you regretted it instantly. Nope, he still looked too good and you still wanted to grab his face and kiss him.

“I-No. I mean-“ You cursed yourself for sounding so unsure. You cleared your throat and removed the blanket from you. “It’s scary but no, I’m not hiding because of the movie.”

Chris tilted his head, curious. “No? Then why?”

There was no escape from the truth. You jumped from the couch and pointed an angry finger at him. “Because of you!” Still very adult of you. You cursed yourself for losing your composure whenever this man was around and so close to you.

“Me?”

“Yes you. You’re making things extremely difficult for me!” And hot, but you refrained from saying it.

Chris had to muffle his laugh but did a poor job at it which obviously made you only angrier.

“Are you laughing at me, right now?”

“Sorry.” He really couldn’t hold it as he burst into laughter.

You grabbed the closest pillow and hit him with it, once, twice, until Chris grabbed your arm and pulled you too hard – you fell right onto his laps. With a pretty smile on his face, he wrapped his arms tightly around you, not letting you any chance to escape from his grip. Not like you wanted anyway.

“I’m sorry, you’re just too cute.” He apologized, “As for me being a problem-“

You cut him right before he could finish his thought. “Are you trying to seduce me?”

“Wha-“ He stopped, cleared his throat and then looked more seriously (or not) at you. “Is it working?”

Just like that you completely relaxed in his arms and laughed. “Does it work? I’m that close to a mental breakdown because of you!”

▾▾▾

The day you asked Chris for help, you knew it wouldn’t be easy, not for him and not for you. Bringing down your father wouldn’t be that simple, no matter how powerful and resourceful Chris was. And yet, you hoped. But days turned into weeks and slowly you were losing your mind. Even when you lived with your father, you still could go out, meet with Soojin and have some fun, but living with Chris wasn’t all that thrilling.

Yes, you enjoyed the few moments you had together (you did more than enjoyed) but half of the time you were left alone in this huge flat and you were getting bored. Really bored. You needed fresh air, you needed to meet people. Even if it meant putting yourself in danger.

Against your better judgment, you decided enough was enough – you left the safety of Chris’s place.

There wasn’t a place you particularly wanted to visit, or something you wanted to do. No, just being outside, hearing the usually annoying noises of the city was enough to make you feel alive and free.

As you walked down the street, you let a sigh of pure satisfaction out. The weather was lovely; a vivid blue sky, a soft breeze, it was perfect. You could say it was one of those perfect days.

Your spirits brightened, nothing and nobody could stop you from enjoying your little trip in town, by yourself, with your father’s money. Obviously, you knew that spending his money would warn him about your whereabouts but it didn’t really matter considering he already knew you were involved with Chris. So, why not have some fun?

▾▾▾

You went from one store to another, buying yourself clothes you absolutely didn’t need, clothes that costed more than it should be allowed to. But did you care? Absolutely not. Was it worth it? Definitely.

Your moment of fun, however, was interrupted by a phone call you were waiting for. There was no way Chris would have left you alone at his place without thinking that one day or another you would be tired of waiting – he expected you to leave and he needed to make sure he could track you.

“Please tell me you’re not that dumb.” Came his voice, harsh and dark and filled with anger.

You bet anybody would cower in fear before him just at the sound of his voice. You? You were feeling a bit rebellious and daring. “Hello to you too, darling. I’m fine and you?”

“The fuck do you think you’re doing, Y/N?” Chris growled, unable to hold back.

“I’m doing some very deserved shopping, why?”

Chris chose not to answer to that, he was simmering with anger and a bit of worry (but he wouldn’t admit it out loud). “You’re not making it easy for me.”

“Do you want me to apologize for that?” You realized that to him, you probably sounded ungrateful and maybe like a brat.

“I want you to go back to my place.”

“I can’t. Not yet.”

“Y/N, please.”

“Listen, give me at least one more hour. I need it.” Compromising seemed like the best option. You weren’t ready to go back to his place yet and he clearly wouldn’t leave you alone.

“No. Get back.”

“No? Come on, Chris. Just one hour!”

Chris completely ignored your plea. “Where are you?”

Your irritation flared. How dare he be so unreasonable? Why couldn’t he understand your feelings? “None of your business.”

“Oh Y/N, you are my damn business. I agreed to help you and right now you’re making things extremely difficult.”

It appeared that both you and Chris had one (annoying) thing in common: you were both extremely stubborn. You didn’t know to what length he would go to get you back, but it also meant he didn’t know how unreasonable you could actually get.

“Tell me where you are, I’m sending Jisung.”

“Nope.” With that you hung up on him.

▾▾▾

If Chris would have accepted your terms, you would have complied. You would have gone back after one more hour outside. Instead, you found yourself walking some more, grabbing some snacks on your way before deciding that having an ice-coffee would be actually nice.

You waited for your order, watching as the pretty brunette prepared it for you.

“Here you go.” She handed you your drink with a smile.

You grabbed your drink, turned around, ready to leave – your face turned pale. When Chris told you he would send Jisung, you knew he would do it with or without your consent, whether you told him where you were or not. But apparently, since you weren’t playing by his rules, he decided that sending Minho, the man who seemed to hate your guts, was the most appropriated choice. The best punishment.

Your body went cold with dread as you stared at a very unpleased man. He had his hands in his pockets, looking almost relaxed but you swore his eyes were burning with anger and probably some hatred too.

Running away was tempting but would do you no good. There was a reason Chris had sent Minho – you bet he was good at what he did which meant you had no chance at escaping him. Trying to win him over with your natural charms would have been nice, but sadly Minho wanted nothing to do with you.

You decided that being yourself was the only thing you could do which probably would annoy him too. “Hello Minho. Why so grumpy?”

Minho considered for a moment that knocking you down would resolve all his problems, but sadly it would make Chris incredibly pissed too and dealing with a pissed Chris was not on his to-do list. “Why? Maybe, because I had to go looking for a spoiled little girl who decided to throw a tantrum?”

A vein popped out in your neck at the mention of ‘spoiled little girl’, he sure knew how to push your buttons, but you refused to show him how much his comment actually affected you. You refused to let him win. Rather than showing your true emotions, you simply took a sip of your drink, looking as unbothered as you could muster. “How rude. What a bitch.”

“You do realize that I’m getting you back?”

“No, you’re not.” He obviously was, you weren’t naïve to believe you could avoid him.

Minho tried to still his rage but you were making it hard. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Chris could take so much risks just for the sake of one woman. A woman who was their enemy. Minho just couldn’t accept that easily that you were so willing to give up on your life.

Sadly for him, it didn’t matter what he wanted or what he thought. He had a job. A damn hard job. There was no way he could bring you back home without a fight, without attracting any more unwanted attention on you two.

“I’m bringing you back whether you like it or not. We can do this the hard way or the easy way. Choose.”

Daring, you took a step closer, looking straight into his eyes.

“Do your worst, pretty boy.” You smirked as you almost purred your words.

What a mistake. Big, big mistake.

You realized a little too late how serious Minho was about doing it the hard way. With a swift move, he had you thrown over his shoulder, making you shriek and drop your drink.

“Minho! Put me down!” You hit his back in hope he would drop you down but he didn’t budge. “Minho!”

“Shut up.” With that he slapped your ass for good measure which clearly did it work: you stopped talking and fighting.

Boy, you were in trouble.

▾▾▾

Minho was the worst company you could ever dream of. The moment he got you back to Chris’s place, he dropped you right on your bed, gave you a death glare, promising you a slow death if you dared to move, and left you alone. You regretted for a short moment not agreeing to Chris’s demand in the first place because clearly dealing with Jisung would have been more pleasant than dealing with a very grumpy and upset Minho.

But was Minho really the one you should be scared of? Probably not. You dreaded the moment you would have to face Chris. You weren’t completely scared but you didn’t want him to be upset with you, you wanted him to understand your point of view and how you felt.

After one hour of sulking in your room, your stomach grumbled, reminding you that despite all the excitement of this afternoon, you didn’t get yourself a proper meal. You left your room, convinced that Minho had left. Another mistake on your part.

The moment you got in the kitchen, you realized how little you knew about Minho. Yes, he was frowning and throwing daggers at you every single time. Yes, he looked like he would murder you in your sleep. And yet, despite being deeply annoyed with your attitude, you found him in the kitchen, cooking and looking like he fully belonged to the place. What an odd thing to witness, you told yourself.

Apparently, one of Minho’s talents was to have eyes behind his head. You did your best not to make any sound and yet he somehow knew you were lurking. “Done with sulking?”

“I- I wasn’t sulking!” You definitely were.

Minho ignored your blatant lie and glanced over his shoulder. “Take a seat. I bet you’re hungry.”

You were, a lot and you should be grateful that he cooked for you, but the need to fight him was just too strong. “Are you going to poison me?”

Minho actually paused. You were clearly joking but you weren’t far from the truth. “Don’t be ridiculous. I wouldn’t waste my precious poison on you. Not yet at least.”

“Noted. Understood. Please, don’t kill me.”

He chuckled. “I’ll think about it.”

The end was nearing, it had to be. Here you were joking with Minho, the person who hated your guts and the person you wanted to avoid at all cost for the sake of your sanity. You expected him to be mean to you, to snap at you, but no, he took you completely off guard by being nice. There was definitely something wrong.

“Should I worry that you’re being nice to me?” You asked, unable to refrain yourself.

Minho didn’t answer right away. He put a plate with food before you and then sat across from you, eying you. “Let’s say that cooking is a way for me to calm down.” Minho contemplated the idea of being honest with you. His opinion of you didn’t change, but while cooking he pondered about your little escapade. He put himself in your shoes and realized that he would have lost his mind too if he had to stay alone for so long. “I understand why you left. I would have done the same.”

That was pleasantly unexpected. “Thank you, I guess.”

“However, you should worry about Chris. He doesn’t get angry easily but when he does,” Minho looked at you, feeling sorry which worried you a little. “Let’s say I don’t want to witness it.”

You rubbed your temples trying to sooth the beginning of a headache. Minho’s warning about Chris didn’t come out as a surprise, from the time you had spent together, you had an insight into his personality. Did it scare you? Not really, but it did worry you. You wanted to avoid a fight with him, if you could.

“I’ll be fine.”

▾▾▾

Minho left once he received a message from Chris. Instead of feeling relieved that Minho was finally leaving and Chris would soon be home, you found yourself wishing for Minho to stay, for moral support.

Just in case Chris was still in bad mood, you chose to wait in the safety of your room. Maybe if he didn’t see you waiting for him, you could avoid a fight. Maybe he would think you were sleeping.

You were wrong. The moment Chris got home; you heard his footsteps getting dangerously closer to your room. Clearly, you couldn’t avoid him in his own home. But you didn’t let yourself worry about it; you were strong enough to face him. You told yourself at least.

With a book in your hands, you laid in your bed, unbothered, from outside. Inside? You were screaming and shaking.

Chris didn’t knock, he didn’t bother which gave away his mood. He stood by the door, watching you too calm for his liking.

“Hello Y/N.” He finally said, voice awfully calm.

You glanced from your book, pretending that there was absolutely nothing wrong, and smiled. “Hi you. How was your day?”

Chris had to give it to you, you were really something. He knew you were fearless and strong and would not cower so easily before anyone, him included, but it didn’t mean your behavior didn’t piss him off. He swallowed down his frustration, he had to if he wanted to have a proper conversation with you.

“You know,” Chris started walking towards your bed, undoing his tie in the process. “I’m trying really hard right now not to snap at you.”

“Effort appreciated.” You closed your book, not that you were really reading it anyway, and stared back with just as much intensity. “You’re angry.”

Against better judgement, you crawled to the edge of the bed where he stood. You sat with your hands on your knees, waiting for him to vent, to say everything he thought about you, about how spoiled you are. But he said none of that.

“Are you ready to talk or are we going to fight?” You asked

You hoped you could avoid a fight, especially with him. Considering how stubborn the two of you were, you weren’t sure a fight would lead to anything good. Chris, apparently, thought the same thing as he let a tired and long sigh out. He pulled at his tie and took it completely off before sitting beside you on the bed.

“I don’t want to fight.” He admitted, “But I’m still pretty pissed at what you did.”

You could understand why he was pissed, in his shoes you would have been pissed too, but you still hoped he could understand your point of view too. You reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m sorry for worrying you. I really am. But I also need you to understand why I had to get out of this place.”

Chris squeezed your hand back and closed his eyes, trying to get his emotions under control. “I guess; I should apologize too. I didn’t realize how hard it was for you.”

“Let Jisung come with me next time.” You suggested. There was no way Chris would accept leaving you alone, exposed to danger, but if someone strong enough was with you, it was a different story. “Or Minho.”

Chris quirked a brow at the mention of Minho. He knew how you felt about the man and he definitely knew Minho’s opinion of you too. “Minho? Really?”

You chuckled at his surprise. Of course, he would. But after the little chat with Minho, you realized he wasn’t that bad – you could actually picture yourself getting along with him, given times. “I know. Shocking, right?”

“Yeah. I thought you hated him.”

“We had a chat and kind of bonded?”

Chris shook his head, amused with the outcome. “You being comfortable with Jisung is already alarming. But now Minho?”

“Oh come on, we’re not that bad!” Well, you could definitely see why you and Jisung being a team bothered Chris; the two of you were troublemakers and Jisung would choose your side without batting an eye.

“You and Minho? Terrifying.”

▾▾▾

For some reasons (you imagined it had everything to do with your little incident), Chris chose to work from home for the time being. A part of you was delighted, you didn’t feel so lonely anymore. On the other hand, Chris had been a tease. Not touching you was one thing, walking around shirtless was a whole other level of torture for you.

Just like today. He worked from the living room, once more shirtless, messy hair, looking like a damn meal that you wished you could devour. There was nothing you could do except stare at him from your seat, admiring his perfect, strong body. You watched as he would frown at the screen (and managing to look adorable while doing so), as he would rake his fingers through his hair in frustration.

With those thoughts came a realization.

‘Damn. I think it’s safe to say I like him.’ You thought

It wasn’t supposed to happen. Of course, it wasn’t a first for you, but considering the situation, you didn’t think it was appropriate. With a long sigh, you left your spot and went to the kitchen to get yourself a very much needed drink. Didn’t matter that it was only eleven in the morning.

Right before you could grab the bottle, you felt a warm presence behind your back. Chris reached for a bottle of water, half trapping you between his warm chest and the fridge. You gulped nervously, feeling his warm breath caress your nape. He nudged your neck with his nose, inhaling sharply.

“Did you use my shower gel?”

“No.” Yes. But really, you hadn’t done it on purpose; you were sleepy and grabbed without thinking and now you smelled like him which clearly was driving you crazy and had an effect on him too.

He clicked his tongue at your lie.

“Since you already smell like me, should I mark you?” He whispered as his lips brushed your ear.

This man was testing your patience and your self-control which surprisingly you still had. But not for long. All he had to do was put his lips on you and you would melt in his arms.

Chris pulled away the moment he got the bottle and went back to his business as if nothing had happened.

The little shit.

You took a deep breath, slapped your cheeks for good measure and then followed his steps. “Ok, that’s enough! Put a shirt on!”

Chris glanced at you and chuckled at your behavior. You tried to look as stern as possible with your hands crossed over your chest, frowning at him.

“Now, why would I do that?”

“For my sanity.”

Chris laughed at that. And did not put a shirt on.

▾▾▾

You got woken up in the middle of the night because it was getting particularly noisy which was odd. Last time you checked, there was only Chris and you, but you swore you heard other voices and rather familiar ones. You contemplated the idea of staying in bed, after all whatever was going on outside your room was none of your business. But could you really resist to your curiosity? Not really.

On tip toes you walked through the hall, following the yelling. It wasn’t hard to find the source; it came from Chris’s office. The door was half-opened but you hesitated. You weren’t sure how any of them would react to your presence, to you getting involved in their business. Even if you were Chris’s guest and someone who he swore to protect, you were still his enemy’s daughter.

“I’m going to fucking kill him!” Chris growled and banged his fist on the table.

Minho snorted, “Get in the line, dude.” Apparently, he too had grudges.

“Well look at that.” A sinister chuckle echoed right behind you. “What do we have here?”

Your blood froze in your vein as you felt a gun pointed right at your head. Whoever was standing behind you was clearly not taking it lightly to your eavesdropping. You gulped nervously and tried not to move, not to breath.

The man pushed the door with his feet and then forced you to get inside - all eyes on you. Nobody seemed surprised to see you walking inside. You smiled sheepishly at the men. “Hi Ji. Hi Minho.” Then you looked at Chris, silently apologizing. He only shook his head.

“I guess this is the infamous Y/N.” The man behind you finally dropped the gun and faced you. “You don’t look like Rick.”

You scoffed at his words. “Thank God! Have you seen his face?” You were indeed very lucky. You had inherited everything from your mom, your face, your body, your character. “I took after my mom.”

There was a moment of silence and you wondered what bothered them in your response. The man, however, cut short to your thoughts. He outstretched his hand for you to shake and smiled. “Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Changbin.”

Without his gun pointed at you, he looked way more charming. You shook his hand, delighted to meet another of Chris’s family member. Changbin looked quite different from Jisung or Minho, big strong muscles, eyes dark until he smiled, then it was all about mischief.

You chose to sit beside Jisung who without hesitation pulled your chair closer to him, choosing to ignore Chris’s displeased gaze.

“Why aren’t you wearing the pretty nightdress?” Jisung whispered to your ear, smiling wickedly at you.

It amazed you how easily Jisung could change the subject and forget about the current situation. You shook your head, amused. “You would have loved that, wouldn’t you?”

He playfully wiggled his brows in response.

“Can you guys stop and reconcentrate on our current problem?” Minho scolded the two of you, giving you the stinky eye.

“What happened?” You asked

It was unlikely they would actually share this information with you, but a girl could hope. There wasn’t much you could do anyway, but maybe you could give advices.

Chris took you by surprise by actually answering your question. “There was a fire, a criminal one, at one of the buildings I own. Five people died.”

You put a hand over your mouth to muffle a gasp.

“We checked the cameras and saw some suspicious men.” Jisung added. He took his phone out of his pocket and showed you one short video.

Your initial shock was replaced with confusion and a frown. The video was dark and you could barely see but Jisung zoomed on the image, showing one man in particular. One man you had seen a few times at your house. Incredulous, you looked at Chris. “My father is behind the fire?”

“Yes.” He didn’t try to deny it.

 “Please, tell me you’re planning to fight back.”

Chris didn’t answer but his eyes promised you your father would pay for it. Dearly.

▾▾▾

▾▾▾

Going to a club like any normal person was a foreign concept to you. Living the life you had, meant you didn’t get many chances to go clubbing, in fact it happened only once and you could barely remember the night. Tonight, however, was different.

The club was loud, crowded and yet with very chic vibe which made sense considering it was Chris’s.

Jisung brought you to Chris’s table who welcomed you with a set of shots, reminding you of your first meeting.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” You teased but accepted the challenge. You grabbed the first shot and emptied it in one go.

“I’m joining in.” Jisung was way too eager to get wasted.

Chris shook his head but didn’t try to stop his friend. He knew better than to try. “I’m not trying to get you drunk.” He then told you and took your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours. “I want you to enjoy the night. Drink to your heart, dance, do whatever you want. This place is safe.”

To say that your heart melted a little at his words would be an understatement. Your heart throbbed with joy, making you a little daring. You leaned closer to Chris and placed a kiss right in the corner of his lips. “Thank you.”

“I need something stronger if I have to deal with that.” Jisung groaned to himself.

▾▾▾

You did exactly what Chris had suggested. You drank more than you should have, you danced among the people on the dance floor, body buzzing with energy, feeling so alive, so free. It felt incredible as if your life had just begun.

With all the dancing, you completely lost track of time. You didn’t know for how long you had been dancing and you didn’t really care. You changed your dance partners a few times. Chris humored you by dancing for a moment with you but quickly gave up. Jisung had joined you too, just as relaxed and probably drunk as you.

Another handsome man joined Jisung, whispering to his ear as his eyes were locked on you. You quirked a brow and wondered if he was another of Chris’s close circle. If he was, it made you question whether Chris was hiring people based on their looks. How else could you explain that all of his friends were all that good looking?

Jisung outstretched his hand and you took it. He pulled you towards them with too much strength, making you stumble and fall right into his friend’s arms.

“Hi there.” He laughed and helped you to recover your composure. “I’m Hyunjin.”

Since you were that close to him, you took a moment to admire his face. Long brown hair, model-like face and that mole under his eye made him somehow even more captivating. “How come you’re that pretty.” Then you looked at Jisung, feeling incredibly offended. “How come all of you are that pretty?”

The two men laughed at your question but couldn’t deny they were pleased too.

“You fit just fine then.” Hyunjin smiled.

▾▾▾

You stumbled out of the bathroom, feeling that maybe it was finally time to find Chris and ask him to bring you home. You had drunk more than enough and your feet were killing you with all the dancing. Before you could do that, a man grabbed your hand and pulled you back to the dark hall.

“Hi Y/N.”

You blinked once, twice, your drunken brain slowly proceeding the sight before you.

Ren.

Ren was in the club. Ren had found you and cornered you. Once you fully realized he wasn’t just a hallucination, you sobered up right away.

“What are you doing here?” A tiny part of you was glad seeing him. You wondered what your father had done to him for letting you escape so easily; seeing him safe and sound brought relief. But being alone with him worried you.

“You know damn well why I’m here.” He snapped, raising his voice. Ren never lost his patience with you. He never rose his voice at you. And yet.

“I’m not going back.”

You pushed him with all your remaining strength to get him out of your way. He didn’t budge. At all. Instead, he pushed you against the wall and trapped you with his hands at each side of your head.

“Let’s be realistic Y/N.” He sounded cold, bringing the memory of one particular night, back to your mind. A memory you wished you could forget forever. “There’s nothing you can do to stop me from bringing you back.”

“And I believe you have overstayed your welcome.” Chris’s voice forced Ren to put space between the two of you. His hand flied to his gun just in case he needed it.

Chris’s eyes went back and forth between you and Ren, analyzing the situation, calculating.

“Leave.” Chris ordered, leaving no room for discussion.

Knowing Ren, you didn’t expect him to obey but he did. Maybe he realized there was nothing he could do with Chris around. Worse yet, he was joined by Hyunjin who looked just as pissed with Ren’s presence.

Ren spared you one last look before leaving, bumping into Hyunjin’s shoulder on purpose.

“Make sure he doesn’t try anything stupid.” Chris told Hyunjin.

“You have Jisung for that.”

“Hyunjin.”

“Fine! Fine!”

With Hyunjin gone, it left the two of you alone. All this time you had kept your mouth shut, simply because you were too stunned to speak. Chris pulled you into his arms and only when you felt him against you, you realized you were shaking.

“I shouldn’t have brought you here. I’m sorry.”

Despite your state, you managed to find your voice. “Don’t. I’m glad you did.”

▾▾▾

You thought you had seen Chris angry before. You were wrong.

That night, he came back from work pissed as hell, talking (not to say yelling) on the phone and completely ignoring your existence. You watched him from the coach, trying to figure out what was wrong and what you could do to make it better. But he didn’t give you any chance; he walked right to his office and slammed the door behind him.

It was a sight you weren’t used to and yet, instead of feeling intimidated, you were curious. You had no intention on eavesdropping but considering how loud he was talking on the phone, you heard him even with the door closed.

“I don’t give a fuck! Find him.” You heard Chris through the door, sounding even angrier than before, if possible.

It wasn’t your business, you told yourself but you worried. You grabbed your phone and hesitated. Asking Jisung would be the easiest, but would he have the answer? From what you gathered, despite being extremely close to Chris, the one who knew everything wasn’t him. Minho on the other hand was the real deal.

You lied.

Obviously.

Maybe you would come to regret it and remember way too late Minho’s attempt at warning you – but you couldn’t stop yourself from walking towards his door. It wasn’t hard to imagine how much Chris blamed himself for the loss but it wasn’t completely fair either. He was a good man, in your opinion, and he tried to do his best every time, whatever happened couldn’t be his fault, no matter what he thought.

By the time you got to the door, the yelling had stopped. You knocked, knowing all too well that there was no chance he would let you in. You bit on your lips and hesitated. Could you actually handle him right now? Maybe not but you couldn’t stop yourself. You took a deep breath and let yourself in.

Chris sat by his desk in the dark, the only source of light coming from outside illuminated his body. He looked both tensed and tired, his head resting between his hands.

“Chris?” You tried; your voice weaker than you intended.

You thought he didn’t hear you but the moment you took another step towards him, he snapped.

“Leave.” He ordered without even looking at you, in fear that if he saw you, he would say something he could potentially regret later.

Did you obey? Of course not.

“I’m not leaving.” You replied stubbornly.

Chris groaned in response. He didn’t want to see you or talk to you when he was so damn angry; he would look for any chance to start a fight if it meant he could get rid of all those feelings. But he didn’t want to fight with you, you didn’t deserve all the mean things he could say without meaning any of it. Despite better judgment, and because you were too stubborn, he finally looked your way. Even in the darkness, you could feel the intensity of his gaze. Your body knew that right now, the man before you was dangerous, but your heart knew better.

“Why can’t you listen for once?” He was quickly losing his patience. Any other day, he would have played along and let you have your way, tonight, however, he wished to be left alone, to deal with his guilt and rage.

Chris jumped out of his chair, so fast it fell on the floor with a loud noise, startling you. “Get the fuck out.”

You shook your head, refusing again.

“Y/N, I swear to god-“ He clenched his fist and inhaled sharply. He had little to no control left and you were making things impossibly hard.

You walked faster to get to him before he could say anything else. You stood inches from him. It pained you to see him this way, because despite his anger, you could feel his pain and regret.

“Don’t push me away.” You pleaded as you reached for him. You expected him to reject you but he didn’t. He let you put your hand on his shoulder and you gave it a gentle, comforting squeeze. “I know there’s nothing I can do to help you, but I don’t think you should be alone right now.”

You took the final steps between you two before finally wrapping your arms tightly around him and pulling him to you. To your surprise, Chris didn’t resist, instead, he fully buried his head in the crook of your neck, shaking in your arms.

Your heart melted at the sight. He was no longer the scary boss, but just a wounded man. You ran your fingers through his locks to sooth him. “I’m here for you, if you need me.”

Without fully realizing it, your words unsettled Chris. He wasn’t used to people confronting him whenever he was angry, whenever he just wanted to punch someone to relieve his pain and anger. But you? You showed him compassion and offered a shoulder to cry on if he needed – for that, he was grateful.

He pulled away from your arms only to get a good look at your face. Such a pretty face. He gently cupped your face, his thumb stroking your cheek lovingly, hoping to convey his feelings without needing to speak. He didn’t trust himself. Not yet. And you understood it. You simply closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, savoring the moment.

“You’re too good, Y/N.” He whispered, “I don’t deserve it.”

Your only response was to plant a kiss on the hand that was touching your face.

Chris observed your every move, your every breath, memorizing every inch of your face, every mole and the tiny scars that he had never noticed before. As you opened your eyes to look back at him, he inhaled sharply, completely bewitched by your beautiful eyes, drowning in them. You didn’t speak but the silence and your gaze spoke louder.

“Y/N.” He called for you without even fully realizing it. He wanted to kiss you. He wanted to keep you with him forever, even once you reached your common goal.

He pressed his forehead against yours and closed his eyes, savoring the moment, to think about what he should or shouldn’t do. But really, how could he resist you any more?

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered

Your reply came in the form of a gentle press of your lips against his. You didn’t hesitate, but seeing how this moment was intimate and fragile, you didn’t want to rush, you didn’t want to unleash all your feelings at once. And he understood.

Chris’s lips felt divine. Just like the kiss. It was slow and sweet and gentle and filled with unspoken promises.

[doumadono]

Emergency request

Good morning!

I wanted to request a comfort fic With one of the following KNY men: Tsugikuni brothers, Muzan or Haganezuka. For over a week I've been dealing with immense lower back pain, I've been to an orthopedist and the painkillers he prescribed help me to some extent, but the pain is still there. I don't know if there is any serious damage, I didn't fall or injure myself in any way for it to happen, I have an X-ray in 12 days, but if it gets worse I'll go to the ER. So far it's suspicious that it's sciatica and overweight from my weight causing this pain. (As if my worsened mental state since November and the stress of failing a semester in college weren't enough). I just need a bit of comfort, I feel like I'm about to have another breakdown this year...

I hope it won't be too much for you to write something to cheer me up a little.

Buziaki, Kamila.

Warnings: female demon!reader Synopsis: following your transformation into a demon, you endure intense pain, and it's Muzan who offers you solace A/N: I'm truly sorry to hear about the pain you've been experiencing. It's understandable that this has been a challenging time for you, especially with the added stress of college. Please know that you're not alone in this, you can always reach out to me, and there are steps we can take to address your lower back pain. While you wait for your appointment, consider some gentle stretches and exercises that can help alleviate sciatica symptoms. Additionally, maintaining a healthy weight through diet and exercise can indeed reduce the strain on your lower back. I encourage you to reach out to a physical therapist who can provide you with a tailored exercise plan to manage your pain. I hope you find solace in this short fic. Writing for Muzan isn't my strong suit, but I gave it my all ♥

MASTERLIST

In the dimly lit chamber, you lay on your side, clutching a pillow to your chest to alleviate some of the pain in your lower back. The recent transition into a demon had been both thrilling and agonizing, leaving you in a constant state of discomfort. Tonight, it seemed like the pain was unbearable.

Just as you were on the verge of tears, the sliding door to your room opened silently, and a tall, enigmatic figure stepped in. It was Muzan, the Demon King himself. His crimson eyes locked onto yours as he approached your bedside. Without a word, he gracefully sat down beside you. His touch was surprisingly gentle as he lifted your trembling hand, examining it for any signs of distress. His voice, smooth as silk, resonated in the room. "You seem to be in pain, my dear."

You couldn't help but nod, tears welling up in your eyes. Muzan's fingers traced the contours of your face, his touch strangely soothing. "There, there," he cooed softly. "I can take your pain away."

With a flick of his fingers, a small orb of blood-red energy materialized, hovering above your lower back. As it descended, a warm, comforting sensation washed over you, and the pain began to subside. It was as if Muzan had the power to mend your very soul.

You watched in awe as he continued to manipulate the energy, kneading away the tension and discomfort. Muzan's gaze never left yours, and there was a warmth in his eyes that defied his reputation as a ruthless demon lord. "Feel better now, my sweet creation?" he inquired softly.

You nodded, a sense of tranquility washing over you. "Thank you, Muzan," you whispered, your voice filled with gratitude.

He leaned closer, his lips hovering over your forehead. He gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and whispered softly, "You have no idea how much you mean to me. You are my dearest creation, and I will always protect and care for you," he murmured before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

Muzan's crimson eyes never wavered from your form. Deep inside yet, a complex blend of emotions swirled within him. Anger simmered beneath the surface, frustration at how long it was taking for you to recover after the transformation. He was the demon king, and his creations should be strong, should adapt swiftly. His fingers, which had been tracing soothing patterns on your arm, tightened imperceptibly. Inwardly, he questioned whether choosing you as another Upper Moon had been the right decision. The Upper Moons were meant to be his elite, his most powerful creations, and your slow progress irked him. Yet, hidden beneath that veneer of frustration and anger, there was another feeling that Muzan kept well-guarded. It was a sense of conviction, a belief that choosing you as an Upper Moon had been not just a good choice but perhaps the only possible one. Deep inside, he recognized a great strength within you, a potential that had yet to fully manifest. There was a reason he had chosen you, a reason beyond what met the eye. He saw in you a future that held the promise of greatness, a strength that would one day rival even his own.

As you rested in Muzan's presence, the lingering concern about the pain after your transformation nagged at you. With a sense of trust growing between you and Kibutsuji, you mustered the courage to speak. "Muzan-sama," you began softly, "can you tell me how long this pain from the transformation will endure? It's been quite overwhelming, and I'm worried about what lies ahead."

Muzan's gaze never left yours, and his fingers continued to trace soothing patterns on your arm. He let out a sigh, almost as if he had been expecting this question. "My dear, the pain varies from person to person. Some demons adapt quickly, while others take more time. It perfectly normal, all you need to do is to be patient." He paused, his eyes flickering with a hint of sympathy. "But I promise you this: with time, the pain will lessen. Your body will adjust to its newfound strength and resilience. And I will be here to guide you every step of the way. You'll become a powerful demon, you'll grow stronger every day."

You nodded, feeling reassured by his words. It was comforting to know that Muzan, despite his intimidating exterior, was willing to offer guidance and support during your transition into a demon. "Thank you, my lord," you whispered, your gratitude evident in your voice.

He leaned closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he murmured, "You don't have to thank me, Y/N. You are mine, and I will ensure that you thrive in this new existence. Now, rest."

As you closed your eyes, wrapped in the comfort of his embrace, you realized that perhaps, in this moment, Muzan wasn't just the fearsome demon king but also a source of unexpected solace in your new life as a demon.

[skywarpie]

Heyyyyy! Could I get Copia/reader with “go on. fuck yourself on my cock” from the prompt list plsssss? Doesn’t matter whether reader is AMAB or uses a strap :)

Send me a prompt

will have it as AMAB bc I don't feel like we see enough copia/male reader. Anyway, all under the cut bc well, yea.

This also got very long. Sorry bout that

He's pent up. You can tell by the way he holds his shoulders. The way he's tensed up as he rumages through his file cabinet. He gets like this sometimes. But those times often have something to do with Imperator or Nihil. Sometimes even both. That's when these episodes are the worst.

"Something on your mind, Sunshine?" You lean against your desk, arms folded over your chest. You don't fail to realize how it draws no reaction from him.

Oh, this one is really bad.

"Copia?" The word is barely past your lips before you see the facade slowly beginning to deteriorate . You try one more time.

"Copia."

The file cabinet slams shut, and you watch as the Cardinal rips his biretta from his head. He twists it in his gloved hands and then, judging by the movement, you think he tries to rip it. He gives up and flings it across the room with a muffled shout. Next to go is his fascia.

Copia rips the fabric from around his neck. "I can't breathe in this. I -- I need this to --"

"Hey. Hey." You approach him like a frightened wild animal. "It's okay." A hand softly places itself between his shoulder blades, and Copia just cracks.

You don't even have a chance to register the mood change before he's balling his hands into your vestments, pulling you as close as possible to himself. He buries his face in your chest as a broken sob wrenches from his throat.

It feels like time stands still.

Copia has had mental breakdowns before thanks to those 2 idiots, however, this is different. This is more severe, and as you watch him burrow further against you, you're suddenly worried he may suffocate himself.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." You pull him into a tight hug. Has he always been this small? This boney? There's the dreaded thought that he's missing meals again, but that's not the focus right now.

You walk him over to one of the extra chairs in your office. It takes some coaxing, but you finally get him to sit. He looks so broken and it makes your blood boil with the thought that Imperator has this much power over him.

A silence settles between the two of you as you grab a box of tissues to offer him. He takes one without hesitation as you sit in your chair across from him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." He dabs at the runny black makeup on his cheeks.

A typical response, but you're fluent in Copia speak by now, and know exactly what he needs.

"Come here." You pat your lap. In the time it takes you to blink, he's already situated on your lap, head tucked under your chin. "That's a good boy." You card your fingers through his mousy brown locks, occasionally scratching at his scalp. He'll never say it, but you know he loves it.

The two of you stay this way for some time. After a while, you go back to filing out the paperwork you were originally working on. It's just an added bonus to have him in your lap.

It's when you're halfway through the first packet that you feel it. Kisses along your jawline. They're soft and you can easily ignore them. Well, at least until a hand is stroking you through your pants.

You pull back to look at him. "Copia.."

He bats his eyes up at you. "Yes?"

One you've learned over the last few months, is that Copia is quick to recover from bad situations. Just maybe his idea of forgetting is different than your's. But it's really hard to complain when he's so good with his mouth. Like really good.

The hand cupping you squeezes, and you let out a groan.

"I think I've found a good distraction."

Copia pulls himself off your lap. For a split second, you're upset. His warmth gone, but the second you see him sink on his knees to the floor between your legs, any resentment is gone.

You instinctively widen your legs. You're also unable to think about anything other than how he must have been hand crafted from Satan himself with how well he sits at your feet.

"Is that so?" You hiss as he frees your hardened cock from your work trousers. The cold air sends a jolt from head to base, but warm lips are suddenly caressing the rapidly purpling head. "Seems a bit of a drastic change. No?" Your brow furrows as he kitten licks at the slit, collecting any pre-cum. "One minute, you're on the verge of a panic attack. The next my cock's in your mouth."

He laughs at that and your heart swells because it's an actual laugh. Something you haven't heard from him today. "I am a good multi-tasker, si?"

You should probably tell him that this is a bad idea. That he shouldn't be sucking you off, but rather working on his frayed mental state that the clergy loves to worsen.

But you don't.

Instead, you watch as he licks a stripe up the underside of your cock. He stops when he reaches the tip, gently sucking. Thats all the encouragement you need.

You grab a fistful of his hair and shove him downward, effectively choking him. His body tenses as he tries to cough, but you offer no relief. Instead, you force him to take you into his throat, growling as you watch him (and feel him) swallow around you.

You spend several moments fucking his face, but ultimately realize that's not how you want this tryst to go. You yank him off your cock and watch the spit from his lips connect to the head as he coughs.

"Undress."

You watch his eyes light up before doing as told.

When he finally stands before you naked, you are able to confirm sadly that, yes, he has been missing meals again. His ribs are practically showing through his pale skin. "Come here."

He straddles your hips, your cocks rubbing together in the process. You watch his eyes roll back in his head. Typically you'd take the time to prepare him, but you know he's still slick and lose from your coupling this morning.

All the more convenient.

"Go on. Fuck yourself on my cock." In situations like this, you've learned it's best to make him feel like he has the upper hand.

Copia leans forward, brushing his lips against yours as he lines himself up. You both groan when you slip inside him with no resistance. He rolls his hips several times as he reacquaints himself with your cock inside him. Breathy 'ahs' and 'ohs' ghosting across your lips from the close proximity.

You take the initiative to smash your mouths together. One hand is on Copia's hip, while the other is buried in his hair, deeping the kiss as you lick into his mouth, tasting him.

He squeaks and breaks the kiss when you pinch one of his pink nipples. Vaguely, the idea of clamps attached to them while you pull him around crosses your mind. But that will have to wait for another time.

He sobs when you bend your head down to suck one into your mouth. You swirl your tongue around the bud, teeth nipping slightly. He arches his back into you as he fucks himself on your cock.

You give one last hard suck before moving onto the other one. Your free hand always makes sure to continue abusing the other bud.

"Beautiful." The praises fall from your lips like kisses. Your lips latch onto his pale neck, sucking until there's a purple bruise. "Let go for me, Sunshine." You take his cock in hand, giving him one, two, three strokes before he's cumming over your hand, back arched so much it almost looks painful.

"That's it."

You stroke him through it until he collapses against you.

Then you chase your own high, fucking up into him without mercy. He squeaks and groans with each thrust until your hands are yanking his hips down further on your cock, making sure he catches every drop. His own cock twitches again before his second orgasm hits.

When it's all said and done with, Copia sits in your lap, cock still inside him until you soften and slip free. His thighs are shaking and your large hands run soothingly across the plush skin in an attempt to relax him.

The front of your vestments are coated in cum, but honestly you could care less. Copia seems more relaxed now and thats all that matters.

You wrap your arms around him, placing a kiss on the crown or his head. "Such a good boy for me."

[boobo13cambridge]

Drifting Apart I | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x f.Reader

Warnings: Angst, physical violence (Y/N slaps him)

Summary: Y/N and Kylian’s relationship is crumbling as they navigate the most difficult moments of their lives. Will they stay or fall apart due to the pressure?

A/N: Hello, everyone! This is the first time I’ve ever written angst, so I really hope you guys give it much love. As always don’t forget to like, comment, and repost! Enjoy, lovelies ❣️

Tired.

Exhausted.

Drained.

Three words that fully encompassed her emotions as she finally put the triplets to sleep after a long day of cleaning up dirty diapers and writing a thesis. Y/N felt close to tears as she felt overwhelming guilt for being worn out at taking care of her babies when she loved them with all her heart. To make matters worse, she and Kylian had been getting into a lot of arguments lately. She knew how important and stressful this year was for him, and in the back of her mind, she wished that they had waited a bit more before having kids.

After getting married in the summer of 2021, the young couple wanted to enjoy a few years together before starting a family. Getting married so young, at the ripe age of 20 and 22, came as quite a shock to some (which in her eyes didn't make sense because a lot of footballers had kids even younger), but they were in love, and despite their parents' skepticism, they tied the knot on July 12, 2021.

Fast forward a year, and Y/N found herself staring at the two dark lines indicating that she's pregnant. Getting pregnant a few months before the 2022 World Cup was definitely not part of the plan, but with the support of their families, they made it through somehow. Throughout her whole pregnancy, Kylian was the best husband any woman could ever ask for, always so attentive and understanding of her every need. When they found out they were having triplets, and all boys at that, Y/N almost had a mental breakdown because she could never in a million years understand how she could ever be a mom to one kid, let alone three. It took Kylian, her mom, and two nurses and a doctor to calm her down.

And needless to say, the triplets, or as Kylian loves to call them 'his perfect hat-trick,' were born on December 4, 2022, right when Kylian had scored two goals to qualify France for the quarter-finals. In all honesty, she really wished she could have just given birth in Doha, but she was under strict surveillance and wasn't allowed to travel. Needless to say, in the moment, she was quite happy that she was having a c-section instead of a normal birth but regretted that soon after as it took way longer to recover. Kylian was definitely devastated to have missed his sons' birth and was this close to booking a flight back to Paris. It took Marcus and Ousmane to calm him down and talk him out of it.

A couple of days after that, France lost the World Cup, which absolutely broke her heart, but she was happy that her husband would be by her side. Post-World Cup, Kylian Mbappé was a very attentive father and husband, but she knew how much the loss had affected him and tried her best to cheer him up. She was secretly glad he had injured himself because he would finally get a break from playing with such a shitty team. Now, back to the present, May 28th, 2024, Post-Transfer Kylian Mbappé was moody and had a frown permanently etched on his forehead.

Once again, she tried to understand, knowing he had so much pressure on his shoulders from transferring to Real Madrid. He was Kylian Mbappé, the current greatest footballer, and people never gave him a break, always demanding perfection every match. He had a huge burden to carry, with the fans pointing out every little mistake he made on the pitch. The Madridistas had long anticipated his transfer, and they were out for blood. If the fans were demanding, then Kylian was even more demanding of himself. It was like living with the shadow of her husband. Gone was the sweet man who would make her breakfast in bed and massage her feet. In his place was someone who only had one thing on his mind: winning everything.

La Liga, Copa del Rey, Supercopa de España, UEFA Champions League, Euros, Summer Olympic Games.

She was going crazy just thinking about it. Lately, it was as if the only thing on his mind was trophies, and she couldn't stand it. The day before the La Liga final, which was held at the Bernabeu just two days ago, Kylian had once again started an argument just because she told him that she was tired of putting his dirty clothes in the laundry and that he should do it himself. The argument was so bad that she didn't even want to be there at the last match of the La Liga season, but on the day of the match, Kylian had profusely apologized and begged, so she forgave him and came to see him lift the trophy. This morning, Kylian had woken up in a foul mood and just seemed to want to be an absolute dickhead. He nitpicked at everything she did before leaving for practice, loudly complaining that she had put too much protein powder in his shake.

The whole day, she tried to text him and call him, but he was ignoring her calls. She had had enough; she couldn't deal with it anymore. Time and time again, she had tried to be understanding, swallowing and smiling through every single complaint and whine he let out. So what if he had his first Champions League final with his new club in three days? She didn't deserve to be treated like such a nuisance.

As she went to the kitchen to grab something to drink, she broke down into sobs. It was too much. She hated feeling like she wasn't enough. Kylian hadn't kissed her, much less said, "I love you," before storming out. For months, all he did was complain, complain, and complain.

The young woman heard the door open and close, instantly recognizing her lover's footsteps. She tried to muffle her sobs so he wouldn't hear, but she forgot that the kitchen lights were on.

Kylian walked right through the archway leading to the kitchen and stopped in his tracks when he saw her teary face, instantly feeling guilty. He knew he had been treating her horribly these past few months and that he should stop, but he had been so stressed with everything that he took it all out on the love of his life and the mother of his children.

"Bébé, are you okay?" he asked slowly, approaching her and trying to wipe her tears, but she moved back. Her action pained him because he realized how much of a jerk he had been.

"What do you think? Do I look like I'm okay?" she snapped at him, wiping the tears with the back of her hand, her voice filled with frustration.

"I'm sorry, my love. I've been such an ass-" he said apologetically.

"Yes, you have! You have no idea what I've been going through because of you!" she replied angrily, her tone laced with resentment.

"Bébé, you have no idea how sor-" he tried to explain, but she cut him off.

"Save your fucking apologies, Kylian! I don't fucking care anymore. You've made me feel like the biggest piece of shit these past few months," she spat out, her words filled with bitterness.

"You know how stressed I've been with the transfer and-" he started to defend himself, but she interrupted him.

"AND SO YOU DECIDED TO TAKE IT OUT ON ME WHEN I-" she yelled, her tone conveying a mixture of anger and hurt.

"STOP INTERRUPTING ME! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE PUSHING THEIR EXPECTATIONS ON ME WHILE YOU SIT AT HOME-" he retorted, his voice tinged with frustration.

"SIT AT HOME? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN DO THE WHOLE DAY EXCEPT KICK A FUCKING BALL AROUND WHILE I TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS, CLEAN THE HOUSE, COOK FOOD, WRITE MY FUCKING THESIS, WHICH YOU NEVER EVEN BOTHER ASKING ABOUT BECAUSE OF COURSE THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD TURNS AROUND MR. HOTSHOT HIMSELF!"

"KICK A BALL AROUND ALL DAY? ME DOING THAT IS THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU SPEND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS BUYING USELESS SHIT-" 

"I USE MY OWN MONEY TO BUY SHIT, YOU DICKHEAD! AND THE ONLY USELESS SHIT I BUY WITH YOUR MONEY IS CLOTHES AND FOOD FOR THE CHILDREN YOU KNOCKED ME UP RIGHT AFTER I GRADUATED! I'VE SACRIFICED SO MUCH FOR YOU-" 

"SACRIFICED?! WHAT HAVE YOU SACRIFICED FOR ME, HUH? STOP ACTING LIKE I KNOCKED YOU UP WHEN YOU WERE MORE THAN WILLING TO SPREAD YOUR LEGS FOR ME!" 

SLAP.

The sound reverberated through the kitchen, accompanied by a sharp sting on Kylian's cheek. Pain radiated through his face, mingling with the shock that coursed through his veins. His hand instinctively reached up to cradle his burning cheek, his eyes widening in disbelief. The room seemed to spin as he struggled to comprehend what had just transpired.

Y/N's expression mirrored his own disbelief, her eyes wide with horror at the consequences of her actions. Tears streamed down her face, mixing with the remorse that consumed her. She trembled, overwhelmed by the magnitude of what she had done. It was a moment of raw vulnerability, where the line between love and anger blurred into a haze of anguish.

"Kylian, I'm so sorry," she choked out, her voice quivering with remorse. Each word dripped with the weight of her regret, desperate to erase the irreversible damage she had caused.

His throat tightened, a turbulent mix of emotions swirling within him. The pain on his cheek competed with the anger that burned in his chest. He fought to find his voice, to process the torrent of thoughts that assailed his mind. The apology hung in the air, suspended between them, as he grappled with conflicting impulses.

Gulping down the lump in his throat, Kylian felt the anger surge within him, fueled by his own frustrations and insecurities. The relentless stress, anxiety, and guilt that had plagued him clawed their way to the surface, intertwining with the raw ache on his cheek. It was a toxic concoction that threatened to consume him, driving him to respond with his own fury.

But beneath the anger, a part of him acknowledged his own culpability. He was not blameless in this dance of discord. The weight of his actions pressed upon his conscience, intertwining with the pain on his cheek. The realization of his own flaws clashed with the indignation that simmered in his veins.

In that moment, Kylian made a choice. A choice to channel the anger, the hurt, and the guilt into something different. Instead of lashing out, he took a deep breath, summoning the last remnants of self-control. The anger flickered in his eyes, but he suppressed it, focusing on the vulnerability before him.

He approached Y/N slowly, his steps cautious and deliberate. His hand reached out, hesitantly, aiming to wipe away her tears, but she flinched, pulling back as if his touch were a reminder of her own transgressions. The ache in his heart matched the pain on his cheek, the longing to bridge the chasm that had formed between them.

Words hung unspoken, heavy with unexpressed emotions. They both knew that apologies alone were not enough to heal the wounds they had inflicted upon each other. The room remained steeped in anguished silence, punctuated only by the echoes of their shattered love.

As the weight of the moment settled upon them, Kylian and Y/N stood at a crossroads. A crossroads where anger and remorse converged, where past mistakes collided with uncertain futures. The path forward was shrouded in shadows, their once-solid foundation crumbling beneath the weight of their anguished hearts.

Time seemed to stand still in the wake of their confrontation, the air heavy with unspoken words and shattered expectations. The kitchen, once a sanctuary of shared laughter and intimate conversations, now felt like a battlefield, scarred by the aftermath of their verbal warfare. 

Kylian's gaze never wavered from Y/N, his eyes tracing the contours of her tear-streaked face. He longed to bridge the distance between them, to mend the rift that had widened with each bitter exchange. The ache in his heart intensified, a poignant reminder of the love that had once bound them together.

Y/N's body trembled with a mix of regret, fear, and a longing for reconciliation. The weight of her actions bore down on her, leaving her feeling small and vulnerable. She yearned for solace, for the reassurance that their love could withstand the tempestuous storm that raged within them.

With measured steps, Kylian closed the physical gap between them, his heart pounding with a mixture of trepidation and determination. He reached out once again, his hand hovering in the space between them, a silent plea for forgiveness and understanding.

Y/N hesitated for a moment, caught in the crosscurrents of conflicting emotions. Her gaze met Kylian's, searching for a glimmer of the man she had fallen in love with—the man who had once cherished her and their family above all else. Slowly, tentatively, she extended her trembling hand, allowing their fingers to intertwine, a fragile connection in the face of their shattered trust.

In that delicate touch, an unspoken promise lingered. It whispered of their shared history, the moments of tenderness and joy that had been eclipsed by their recent turbulence. It spoke of a willingness to rebuild, to confront their flaws and the demons that haunted them.

The silence, once heavy with resentment, now became a sacred space for introspection and reflection. The unspoken words hung in the air, their weight acknowledged by both parties. It was a moment of surrender, a recognition that love could not thrive in the absence of vulnerability and forgiveness.

However, despite their fragile moment of reconciliation, the scars of their previous altercation still festered beneath the surface. The guilt and anger that plagued them now resided like smoldering embers, waiting for the slightest breeze to ignite their fury once more.

The following morning, the house was shrouded in an uneasy silence. Kylian moved cautiously, as if walking on eggshells, acutely aware of the tension that lingered in the air. Y/N, her face etched with traces of weariness and apprehension, busied herself in the kitchen, desperately trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy.

Suddenly, the sound of shattering glass pierced the fragile peace. Kylian's hand trembled as he gazed at the broken fragments scattered across the floor, his breath catching in his throat. The weight of his mistake crashed down upon him, triggering a surge of self-loathing.

Before Kylian could even react, Y/N's voice lashed out, sharp and cutting. "Kylian, how many times have I told you to be careful? You never pay attention to anything!" Her words dripped with frustration, a reflection of her own mounting resentment.

His heart sank, a mixture of shame and frustration swirling within him. The bitterness that had consumed him since their previous argument threatened to overflow. He could no longer bear the weight of his guilt and his bruised pride.

The room seemed to close in on them as Kylian's retort hung heavily in the air, each word a dagger aimed at Y/N's wounded heart. "Oh, what now? Are you going to slap me again, Y/N?"

The accusation cut through the air, leaving a palpable silence in its wake. Y/N's eyes widened in disbelief and hurt, her body trembling with a mixture of shock and anger. The triplets, sensing the rising tension, began to cry, their innocent wails intermingling with the growing storm of emotions.

Y/N's voice quivered as she fought back tears, her voice heavy with a mixture of sorrow and indignation. "How dare you say that, Kylian? I never wanted to hurt you, and you know it!"

The room trembled with their voices, each word a dagger aimed to wound, tearing at the fabric of their fragile bond. Kylian's face contorted with anger, his voice laced with a bitterness he could no longer contain. "Of course you never wanted to hurt me, right? You've done such a fantastic job so far!" Kylian spat, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Complaining and nagging every fucking day like I don’t already have enough of that every time I open social media"

Y/N's eyes filled with tears, a mixture of pain and disbelief etched on her face. She struggled to find her voice, to make sense of the torrent of emotions crashing over her. "I'm trying, Kylian. I'm trying so hard to hold us together, to be there for you and the kids. But it feels like nothing I do is ever enough!"

He scoffed, the bitterness in his voice turning his words into venom. "You? Trying hard? Don't make me laugh! All you do is complain and criticize. You're so quick to point out my faults, but what about your own? Or do you think you're perfect?"

Y/N's voice trembled with a mix of anger and hurt. "I never claimed to be perfect, Kylian. But I've given up so much for you, for our family. I've sacrificed my dreams and aspirations to support you, only to be constantly belittled and dismissed!"

Kylian's eyes blazed with fury, his fists clenched at his sides. "Oh, so now it's all about your sacrifices, is it? What about mine? What about the pressure I face every single day, the weight of expectations on my shoulders?"

Their words collided in the air, their voices filled with resentment and unspoken pain. The triplets' cries grew louder, their innocence caught in the crossfire of their parents' anguish.

Unable to bear the suffocating atmosphere any longer, Kylian turned on his heels, his voice dripping with disdain. "I don't have time for this. I have a plane to catch, a team to lead. Maybe being away from you for a while will do us both some good."

As he stormed out of the house, the door slammed shut behind him, leaving Y/N standing in a sea of shattered hopes and shattered glass. The anguished cries of their children echoed through the empty rooms, a haunting reminder of the fractures in their once-unbreakable bond.

In that moment, as the gravity of their fight settled upon them, both Kylian and Y/N were left with a hollow ache in their hearts, each tormented by their own regrets and the uncertain path that lay before them.

[jolieblack]

Jolie’s thoughts on

The Reigate Squire (Sherlock & Co. podcast)

Weirdly, I had real trouble following the plot of this one, even knowing the original story. I feel there was one art gallery and one art galerist too many to keep track of. I know that Sherlock Holmes stories are really not about the cases for most people, but I belong in that small minority that wants cases and wants the cases to be brilliant. I needed a relisten to really get this one.

Loved the nods to ACD in the names of the paintings and painters, though.

Nice foreshadowing with the handwriting in the opening scene, too!

Do people in a coma really clench their hands? (Never mind me, now I‘m just nitpicking. 😝)

I must say that I love (as in LOVE) the H/C in the original story, with Watson literally crossing the sea to fetch a sick Holmes home, and with the touching contrast between Holmes‘s public image (wading through congratulatory telegrams) and his private misery, which only Watson was allowed to witness. Somehow the quick info dump that Sherlock was overworked and a bit burned out in this episode didn’t quite make the most of the original's potential…

I also desperately wanted to know more about what brought Sherlock’s breakdown on. Physical exertion? Intellectual strain? Emotional strain? Mental health issues? Or am I missing the obvious and they’re being obscure on purpose because the true cause of his weak state is too delicate/too illegal to talk about on a public podcast? Is he recovering from a drugs bender? Did he even overdose?

I can see why this episode has got a lot of our Jonklockers quite excited, though!

John comparing Sherlock to the back of his hand and then poceeding to LICK said body part was really something else, and it was only the start.

Captain Hayter being a hunk, a dish, a stud and a certified beefcake will certainly go down our fandom‘s history as one of the most quoted Sherlock quotes ever, justly so. Let me just say, dear Sherlock, until I hear you using any similarly enthusiastic vocabulary about the physical appearance of any woman you encounter, I'll be Making Assumptions.

(Check out this lovely fanart by @jonk-md, and this one by @dead-chela !)

"Captain Handsome" (😂) - "Can you stop saying that because I‘ll laugh and then he‘ll ask why I‘m laughing and then that‘ll be awkward." - Awkward FOR WHOM, John, and WHY EXACTLY, we would like to know.

"You heard it here first, folks." - Yeah, sure, that was just a totally innocent play on words there, Sherlock. Your subconscious is doing funny things, mate.

Lovely to see our boys caring about each other as much as ever though.

"Watson is one of the most capable medical practitioners London can offer. I‘m in safe hands."- "All right, you’re delirious, I‘m calling an ambulance."

There is SO MUCH to unpack in that short little exchange alone.

"Never mind him collapsing, how I‘m still standing is the real question!"

Love how this John Watson still has the patience and loyalty of a saint but he also gets to be grumpy about it.

"You eat cereal at night!" - "That’s different!" - "How is it different?" 😂

Cereal-at-night-eaters of the world unite! Hands up who hasn’t done this at some point in their lives.

And Sherlock on a swing is a mental image to behold indeed. (A swing on a playground. Get your minds out of the gutter, people.)

"This is very much me being me." Awww.

Love how they literally run away giggling from the idea of commercialising their success. All three of them together, no verbal coordination needed, let alone any discussion. And straight into the next mad adventure. I can’t wait.

[buckysmith]

Request from TikTok

How TFP decepticons would react if they find out that reader was starving themselves

Includes: Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave, Dredwing, Knockout, Breakdown, Predaking

HUGE TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of mental health issues and ED

Soundwave:

- He would notice it after a while

- Don't get me wrong, but he does in fact not need to eat and only knows that humans have to eat to survive.

- He would only notice it after you visited him more often.

- He can't really go out like knockout or the Autobots, but as you spent more and more time on the nemesis, he would realize that he never saw you eat anything, not even the slightest bit of a thing.

-He would ask you if you need something and you would politely denie his offer, telling him you already ate something

- You in fact did not and he knows that.

- He wouldn't want to confront you about it as long as he doesn't have a single clue what you might have and why you're lying to him about something so easy

- He would learn that eating something is in fact not as easy as he thought

- He would learn about ED. That some tend to eat way to less and others that eat to much, those who sometimes eat nothing and than eat anything.

- So you had a so called ED? He would ask himself not knowing how to approach you with his new earned knowledge.

- After a few days he would tell you what he noticed, that you eat nothing and that your starving yourself

- At first you would try to denie it, but no chance he already knows

- He would recommend therapy for you and he would do anything to help you

- In your whole recovery he would stand by your side, being your rock

- He would never judge you for your illness or try to play it down.

-He would be so incredibly proud of you for healing yourself and for trying to get over your own shadow.

Shockwave

- He would notice it pretty early

- He already had some test objects that happens to be human and he had to feed them regularly so they wouldn't die, so he would get curious why you, his human doesn't seem to eat anything.

- Don't get me wrong but this man would simply ask you why exactly you were not eating, not caring that it is a hot topic for you

-He would force you to tell him why exactly your not eating

- Whatever your reason is to starve yourself, he would simply tell you that it's not logical. Why? Cause humans needs to eat to prevent themselves of getting weak and dying.

-He would notice that his stone cold characters does in fact not help you, so he would try to comfort you.

- He would find a way with you to fight and get over your ED

- But it would need him a while to search those things up, but at least he would try his best to support you trough this hard time

Dreadwing:

- He wouldn't notice that you in fact do not eat

- But he would notice that you seems to get somehow weaker and weaker.

- he wants to know why you lost weight and look somehow ill.

-don't lie to him about it, he would notice that your lying.

-He would try to understand you but would terrible fail

- He would try to get you to eat something when he's with you and he would always praise you

- It doesn't matter to him how long it takes for you to recover, it would matter to him that your trying.

-He fought so many battles but not once was it him against himself so he would be so proud of you

- Not everyone would fight against themselves, but you are and it just shows him how incredible strong you are.

Knockout:

- He wouldn't notice it till you randomly pass out

- He would bring you back on the Nemesis, confronting you why exactly you passed out

- You would tell him that you don't know

- So he would go trough all what might cause your pass out and he would notice your lip biting when he comes to „did you eat enough"

- He would ask you why you're not eating and when the last time were you ate something

- after telling him the truth he would make sure to get you to eat.

- He would research on how to help you with your illness

- He wouldn't be great but neither bad

- what I mean, sometimes he's understanding sometimes not as much

Breakdown:

-He would hear your tummy

- Then he would ask you if you're hungry and you would denie it

- That would happen numerous times and  so he would get confused

- It seems your hungry, but he never saw you eat anything except a little salty cracker

- After a while he would ask knockout about it and he would tell him that something humans do that

- But that wouldn't really be an answer for your behavior so he would ask you directly

- After you told him what's wrong, he would be your supporter number one, helping you through the hard times and praising you for every little milestone.

Predaking:

- He would notice that you're not eating anything while being with him

- He wouldn't ask you about it, thinking you just eat at home for whatever reason

- But it seems your getting weaker, you’re always tired and your eyes look pale and dull

- after bringing you home he would watch you and now he knows you're not eating

- He would try to understand why you're not eating before asking you about it, watching you all day and basically stalking you.

- He wouldn't understand it even after a few weeks so he would just approach you and ask you about it

- you of course would denie it or at least try to

do so

- in the end you would tell him your reasons

- He cares for you deeply so to see you suffering it's spark breaking for him

- He would try anything to make you enjoy food and to eat at least one meal per day

- but he wouldn't force you, he would take his time with you

Megatron:

- He knows humans need to eat so seeing you not eating anything while being with him would confuse him

- He would ask you about it

- even if you try to lie to him he would notice it

- so to tell him the truth ist better for both of you

- he wouldn't understand your reasons

- in his eyes you're perfect and you deserve to eat and to enjoy your life

- he would suck at comforting you but he would try his best

- He would get you the best therapists and docs he( or better Soundwave ) can find on earth

Starscream:

-He wouldn't notice it

- Don't get me wrong, he adores you and wants you to be happy and healthy but because he doesn't need to eat something he wouldn’t notice it

- if you vent to him about it after getting some dumb comments from your family/friends he would ask you about it

- what exactly do mean you’re starving yourself? Why are you doing this?

- after you tell him your reasons he would try to help you

- He would suck too, but at least he helps you a bit

[medlilove]

So, I have been playing with an au/oc with ToS and hired a Botanist character. But somehow I have extebnded a few bullet points that explain why Bones was last to meet him on the ship to like, a massive, rather mundane fic that has given me the chance to explore how the different characters interact with each other. All before the Botanist even shows up, in fact, I keepo adding things to put it off.

The scene was initial made to be a rather uneventful first interaction. But it just got longer and longer

and longer

The Botanist Part One 🌱🌱🌱

Bones' thoughts on The Botany Department weren't great. They didn't really do anything. Yes, it could be argued that his general disconnect from the department stemmed from his distaste for Dr. Daniel Yvonne, who was a very uninspired man. Here he was, exploring a strange new world every month or so, full of life completely unknown to science, and what did he do? The bare minimum needed to submit the paperwork. McCoy felt that the man would be just as inspired working in the basement of an Earthside insurance office, opening mail.

McCoy couldn't understand why someone would take on such an incredible role as that on the USS Enterprise, and do so little with it. He often complained loudly to Kirk in confidence that the department's resources were being wasted and the man should be kicked out. 

There was so much out there, yet Yvonne was just ticking boxes. Sending his poor team out to the planets to collect minimal samples while he remained in his lab. The situation was exacerbated by the fact that the lab and medical spaces shared the same deck on the Enterprise, and often crossed paths. 

Although McCoy and Chapel snarked and sniped at each other on a regular basis, often alarming new patients, they had the same care and ambitions and had more in common than not, especially regarding Dr. Yvonne. Nurse Christine Chapel was another crew member who McCoy could mutter openly over his dislike of how Botany was run. One of the few things they agreed on in fact. Chapel hated how cold and unsocial he was to his team, whom she had grown to know quite well.

It, therefore, came as quite a surprise to everyone when Dr. Yvonne had a complete mental breakdown one morning after a particularly dangerous planetary expedition, in which one of his team, Sacha, was nearly eaten by a giant carnivorous cactus. He broke all the glass in his lab, spreading all sorts of spores and seeds everywhere, and tried to jump out a (very sealed) window. Chapell got to him first and sedated him, a little too enthusiastically, not that Bones would have done it any differently. McCoy had a suspicion that it wasn’t so much Sacha’s wellbeing he was worried about, but the sudden disruption of standard protocol and additional paperwork. 

And thus, Dr. Daniel Yvonne was sent Earthside on the next available shuttle, looking rather glassy eyed and sweaty. That, of course, left the Enterprise needing a new Head of Botany, and with Sacha recovering from the cactus attack, and the only other member of the Botany Department being Edwin, who was only 22, they asked the Federation to assign a new member.

There was a planet a few days away that had a research station on it. Dr. Alfred Nahdi accepted a temporary replacement role on the Enterprise, and would be with them for around six months.

He was brought aboard three weeks after Dr. Yvonne's departure. The federation had assigned him with the go ahead from the Captain. Therefore no one really knew much about him.

McCoy wasn’t available to be at the customary meeting party in the transporter room when Dr Nahdi beamed on board. Turns out, just an hour before the new botanist was set to beam on board, one of Scotty’s engineers, Phoebe Carrilin, had fallen three flights while in the engine room, broken her neck and landed on her head. While not technically life threatening in that day and age, Dr. McCoy needed to take particular care putting her back together, due to the intricacies of the spine and the severe swelling that she had suffered. 

Kirk had explained McCoys absence when showing Nahdi around and to his labs. Some medical emergency that Alfred would rather not know the details of, he was a little more squeamish than he’d care to admit. As they exited the elevator and walked down the wide corridors of the primary science level of the enterprise, Nahdi noticed that the Medical Space was completely sealed off. Made sense, if some major surgery was taking place. The automatic doors didn't respond to them passing by. There was a strip of red light along the borders of it, that Nahdi recognised as an indication to only disturb for serious medical emergencies.  He wondered what kind of man was behind that door. 

He had arrived late in the afternoon, so the senior management meeting, to introduce him to who and what everyone did, would be, thankfully, scheduled for the next day. 

After settling into his quarters, Nahdi wandered back to his lab to spend a bit more time poking around and seeing what, if anything Dr Yvonne had left. The science floors appeared to be dead quiet this time of night. Almost everyone was off duty, and unlike engineering, rarely needed staff on rota 24hrs. He was enjoying the quiet hum of his new home. He walked up and down the isles of planters, vessels and canisters. The lights were kept low, and a fine mist filled the space. Making it humid, yet very comforting. The Enterprise had amazing resources, but he noticed that the lab was not fully utilised. There was so much potential. He couldn’t wait to get started.

He lingered for a while just inside the door, analysing the large screens displaying complex calendars and rotas, learning the names of his team. Sacha, Edwin, and Evangeline….just three? Doing some quick maths on the rota, they must be on at least 50 hours a week each, surely that’s not right? He felt a pang that was simultaneously sympathy and pride. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts at the distinct sound of a door opening a little distance away.  He heard a man and women talking softly in the corridor. He couldn’t hear exactly what was said, but the tone was familiar, friendly, yet serious in tone. The woman’s voice seemed reassuring and the man’s tired and almost annoyed. He said something then, while giving out a small laugh of exasperation which made the women give out one small laugh then say something indicating instruction. Nahdi didn’t move, suddenly feeling very self conscious about potentially intruding on something personal. Mortified at the idea of them suddenly spotting this rather tall and broad man they had never seen before standing randomly in a door that was half glass, therefore fairly visible. That would make quite an awkward first impression.

He couldn’t help himself, Nahdi moved his head very slightly and glanced down the corridor.  Just in time to see a blond Nurse turn back into the medical lab, and just caught a figure of a man in the science blue, closing the elevator door at the end of the corridor. His face was hidden by his palm rubbing his eyes as his other hand absentmindedly pushed the elevator button a few times. All Alfred could determine was that he seemed a little skinny, shorter than he (though most people are) and potentially around his age. That was the CMO, he’d bet money on it.

Nahdi thought that the man might have squinted up and seen him in the last blink of the moment, but he couldn’t be sure. 

The surgery had lasted five hours and Carrilin would be on her feet the next afternoon. 

It was around 20:00 when he was finally done. McCoy swapped out with Chapel and went straight to bed without eating, having just enough energy to pull off his uniform. His dreams swam with intricate, fragile puzzles and a strange tall bearded figure watching him from a glass fronted door.

[alexglitches]

Yune, the Host of the Lady Bone Demon (TWST x LMK)

this is a little funky crossover thing I did for Twisted Wonderland and LEGO Monkie Kid :)

kinda spoilers for season 4 in the post-possession part

Yune Pre-possession

Yune is a very kind person, they’re a bit shy too and a bit of a pushover

They like cute things, mainly animals and flowers

Especially likes cats

Took in strays and volunteers at the local animal shelter

They’re unassuming and as normal as you can get in their crazy city

Average grades, a nice group of school friends

Normal

A bit boring, right?

“Come on, Kitty.” Yune grunted as they stood on their tiptoes in some random alleyway, trying to catch their cat to bring them back home. 

Their cat, however, seemed to enjoy putting Yune through the ringer in trying to catch it. The tabby got up from where it had loafed and jumped over a wall into the alleyway on the other side of the street. 

Yune slumped and groaned. “Come on!” 

A blue light caught their eye and they turned, startling when they see a wispy fog rise like mist, then screaming when the fog came straight at them. 

It forced itself down their throat, like if they allowed an unwelcome guest into their home. They choked and collapsed, feeling hot and cold at the same time, they shuddered as the mist spread through their veins, then gasped as it was all finished. 

A numbness came with possession, they were helpless. 

Their mind blinked like a light went off, and the spirit took control of her new host with a maniacal laugh. 

~~~

Yune Lady Bone Demon

the Lady Bone Demon took to her new host like a fish to water

Everything continues on as normal in the Monkie Kid canon, except Yune is the one the LBD has under her control

starting with aiding the Spider Queen

she makes the spiders collect all the artefacts she needs

she’s the one making Yune manipulate and torment MK

she’s the one who attacks

she’s the one who holds Macaques life over his head and the one who takes control of Wukong and his powers

all the while, Yune is in a comatose like state in their own mind

of course, everything turns out alright in the end, MK and his team stop the Lady Bone Demon, save the world, and help Yune heal

“So, you thought you had all the pieces right where you wanted them.” Sun Wukong glared at the demon who possessed a literal teen. 

A whole new low for the Lady Bone Demon. 

“I have so many pieces I’ve yet to play.” She spoke through the child, wearing their face and morphing it into an evil smirk. 

Wukong growled as he and the demon initiated a fight, which ultimately led to him being held hostage in the webs of the Spider Queen. 

He made a vow that night that he would stop her in any way he could. 

~~~

Yune Post-possession 

Yune was p passed out for a few days after being separated from the Lady Bone Demon

from beginning to end, the possession lasted a month

but even then, the lack of control they felt during the entire thing terrified them immensely 

slowly, they begin recovering

they’re eating noodles at Pigsy’s, taking therapy sessions with Sandy and his cats, and they feel comforted knowing that their new friends have their back

until they don’t

SEASON 4 SPOILERS JUST IN CASE

so azure is casually breaking apart the universe, as one does

and in canon, we see the original host girl watching the chaos unfold

replace her with Yune

and add in the fact that they fall into one of these rifts

yeah, things aren’t going so great

this rift transports Yune to the world of Twisted Wonderland

so travelling to a new world and becoming the unspoken therapist to a bunch of mentally unstable boys, ADD IN THE FACT THAT THEY TOO ARE A MENTALLY UNSTABLE PERSON and they have to deal with other people’s problems, plus their own post-possession mental breakdowns 

EQUALS STRESS INCARNATE

YUNE IS NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME

someone give them a hug :(

Grim curled up next to Yune's head carefully, making sure not to wake them up from their sleep.

They were having a nightmare... they were crying.

Grim nuzzled their face and went back to sleeping.

They stopped crying.