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#i just needed a break from thesis work
crowleyanthonys · 1 year
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back on my bullshit again (making overly saturated Anathema Device gifsets ✌)
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born to write fanfiction, forced to grade homeworks
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forestofsprites · 7 months
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yearning for my shitty little studio apartment and its mouse problem . and general closet-like appearance .
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meadowlarksabove · 1 year
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Reminder that Gabban´s karma in-game is Neutral and in the past I´ve had fun playing around with that fact. But seeing as I´ve had to write a backstory for this character entirely on my own (with pieces of much appreciated fanon of course), it makes more sense to mark him as Evil for now and have him come down to Neutral post-legion. You have to commit attrocities as a frumentarius and the whole point of having an NPC like Gabban was to make the Nipton situation happen no matter what so- yeah, I don´t think you can actually be neutral in the fallout karma system while committing war crimes (lemme repeat that, WAR CRIMES). 
Anyway, I was just remembering when I first started writing for this blog (years ago at this point) and him having neutral karma was such a hurdle. Because what do you mean this man who just completed Vulpes´ plan is neutral? But that´s when I decided Gabban wasn´t actually loyal to Caesar he´s just another WORTHLESS cog in the machine. Trying to survive, fucking up other people´s lives in that fruitless endeavor, and very slowly losing it. The birth of a real big mess. 
I know in-game mechanics aren´t super relevant within the rpc apart from using it as a way to help describe characters, but it´s all of the canon material I can extract from Gabban´s file. In a way it´s been the root of a lot of my headcanons. 
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nitunio · 3 months
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hoarse voice i should open commissions soon (i wanted to open them in november but there was a. um.)
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xartofmovingonx · 8 months
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.
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catinfroghat · 2 years
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How to kill your mom for a week and then bring her back
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beenbaanbuun · 3 months
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cockwarming w/ san
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words - wordcount? not round here, partner 🤠
genre - fluff, nsfw
warnings - stressed!reader, dom!san, sub!reader, subspace, guidance, soft!san (both him and his penis), cockwarming, clothed, san manspreading…
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thinking about cockwarming sannie… am i absolutely feral? definitely! ANYWAYS!!!!
you’re sitting on the floor, glasses slipping down your nose as you stare at the documents in front of you
not many of then make sense, but that could just be the tediousness of reading them setting in and slowing down your weary brain
all the words are moulding into one and entire paragraphs are jumbling together as you desperately try and focus
you so desperately want to reach for your phone and give yourself a break
but you remind yourself that you’re just looking for distractions which is really not what you need when you’re struggling to focus anyway
so you start from the top, attempting to read the paper from the beginning
and you don’t get very far when you hear the front door open and your attention once again slips away from the paper
you turn slightly, just enough to see san step into the apartment and take his shoes and coat off
the way his shoulders sink in relaxation is visible and he lets out a long, deep sigh of relief at finally being home
your papers are almost forgotten as you watch him make his way towards the armchair in the corner of the room and take a seat
in fact, as he relaxes, spreading his thighs out until there’s a perfect you-sized gap between them, the papers are the last thing on your mind
“hi, pretty,” he croons as he shuffles to get himself comfy, “good day?”
you nod, mouth going dry at the way his hand naturally falls to rest just inches from his crotch, his pretty fingers flexing a few times before settling against his thigh
his beautiful, thick thigh that is almost fully exposed by those little gym shorts he insists on wearing
you stare at it for a moment or two, noticing the way it flexes slightly against the hem
his honey skin is still slightly shiny from the residual sweat of his evening workout
just the thought of him using his pretty thigh muscles to lift himself up from a squat is enough to send your brain into a dizzy haze
“looks like you’ve been working hard,” he smiles, head dipping to gesture to the pile of forgotten papers on the table, “is that research for your thesis?”
it is, you think to yourself, not that you’d actually learned anything from reading, sorry, trying to read any of it
“yeah,” you answer him, “but it’s all so boring than i can barely even look at it without wanting to die. i’ve been at it for hours and i can’t tell you a single thing i’ve read.”
there’s a pout on your face as you mumble out your complaints; you’re adorable when you’re all moody like this
“learning isn’t linear, baby,” he chuckles, “the fact that nothing’s sticking in that little brain of yours probably my just means you need a break.”
“i’d love a break,” you admit, “but i’d also love to get through this pile of research by the time we go to bed, so…”
“so… take a break and go back to it later,” san shrugs, “not like all that paper is suddenly going to grow legs and run away, right?”
you scoff at his sarcasm and the smug look on his face, but you know he’s right; you probably should take a break…
“but i know if i take a break i won’t want to do it anymore,” you say, although the excuse sounds weak even to you
“then do it tomorrow; it’s not like it needs to be done tonight, honey,” and he’s right, so you nod, and he smiles
but the feeling of stress doesn’t go away as you pile up the sheets of paper in the centre of the coffee table
and it doesn’t go away as you save your thesis draft and close the lid to your laptop
your shoulders are still very stiff, and your head is still feeling weary from just how hard you’d been trying to focus
even when you slip your glasses off, a physical weight lifting from your face, your brain doesn’t slow down
it just doesn’t let you settle like you and san so badly want you to
he watches you fidget with your surroundings, eyes flicking to the pile of papers every so often whilst your fingers drum against the table restlessly
he sighs; clearly you’re going to need some help with this
“baby,” he says softly; you look at him and all he can see is stress written across your features, “do you want me to help you relax?”
your eyes flick over to him, still manspreading in the chair and looking the the picture of masculinity itself
you know it wouldn’t take long for him to silence your brain; not when he already has your brain feeling a little on the foggy side
you nod, mumbling out a small ‘please’ that he can barely hear
“come here then, baby,” he pats the inside of his thigh with his palm, the sound ringing around the room, “come sit with me, yeah?”
it takes a second for you to register what he’s asking you to do, but when it finally does, you feel your breath hitch in your throat
he hasn’t closed his legs for you to sit on, and the hand that rests on his thigh doesn’t shift to make space for you
why would it when there’s already a you-shaped space between his thighs?
you watch as he reaches behind him to grab the cushion from the chair, pulling it out and placing it on the floor between his feet
you cant stop the soft whimper that leaves your throat
“come on, pretty thing,” he coos, “you know it’ll help you.”
and you do know that, you really do
it’s exactly the push you know you need to take your mind off of everything, and holy fuck do you want it
so you shuffle towards him on your knees, inching closer and closer to that spot that seemed to be just made for you
he smiles at you as he watches you settle in on the cushion, the plush material taking the pressure of the cold, hard floorboards off of your delicate knees
you shuffle around a little, trying to get comfy before looking up at him, wide eyes looking into his own
and he can’t help but brush a hand across your cheek, chucking as you lean into his gentle touch
“my precious girl, aren’t you?” he whispers, running a thumb over you cheekbone, “working so hard; you’re so good, aren’t you?”
he shifts his hand until two of his fingers press against your lips
you separate them to allow his digits inside of the warm, wet cavern; he can’t help but fill with pride when he sees just how good you’re being
the tips of his fingers slide to the back of your tongue, caressing it slightly until he feels your throat constrict around them
he pulls them back slightly, instead pushing them down on the centre of your tongue to make your drool puddle up around them
“just let yourself stop thinking, okay?” he says as he plays with your tongue, “you’re too stressed, baby, and it’s not good for you.”
he caresses your wet muscle with his fingertips; you let your eyes flutter closed at the sensation
“turn your brain off for me,” his voice is soft as he talks you down into an all-too-familiar headspace, “be good for your big boy, hm? let me take care of you.”
and with the combination of your position between his legs, the fingers in your mouth, and his pretty words, you find it so incredibly easy to just… slip away
any thought of your thesis is gone and replaced with san
the worries about finishing on time, and the concerns about the reading you don’t quite understand; san
everything is just… san
you let out a small sound as you push your head down onto his hand, taking more of his fingers into your mouth
the weight of them on your tongue was nice, you decide, but not quite enough
they don’t quite hold the warmth and heaviness that your tongue is craving
it’s not quite enough to completely ground you like you know you need
“you want more?” he always has been so good at reading you; you nod around his fingers, “want your big boy’s cock in your mouth?”
you moan at the thought, desperately moving your head up and down to tell him yes
“does my precious girl want to warm her big boy up? is that it?” yes, yes, a million times yes, “want to wrap your pretty lips around me while you relax, hm?”
he chuckles when you pull off of his fingers and sit there looking at him through your lashes with a slack jaw
so pretty, he thinks when you stick your tongue out and blink up at him through those fluttery lashes of yours
pretty enough that you have him wrapped around your pinky finger
he really would do anything to make you happy, and it seems that what would make you happy right now is him in your mouth
so he wastes no time in reaching for his waistband and pushing it down his thighs to reveal his soft cock
he takes it in hand and holds it out for you, waiting patiently as you lean forwards to press a kiss to his pretty pink tip
“no teasing, baby,” he taps the blunt head against your lips, “open for me. warm me up like a good girl.”
his voice is smooth and buttery, and it makes you want to listen
you open you maw, rolling your tongue over your bottom lip and waiting for him to feed himself into your mouth
there’s a hand at the back of your head as his tip makes contact with the pink muscle
the hand pets your hair softly as it guides you onto the cock, pushing you further and further down until your mouth is stuffed almost completely full
“breathe through your nose, baby,” san instructs you as he pushes the tip of his cock to the back of your tongue, “come on, pretty girl; i know you know how.”
you don’t need the reminder, having done this plenty of times before, but you still like the guidance he gives you in that low cadence
you like his voice, and the way he tells you what to do because he knows just how much you don’t want to think right now
you close your eyes as you feel your nose brush against the smooth, sticky skin of his lower stomach
his freshly shaved pubes prickle you, but that’s the least of your concerns when your senses are just overloaded by the comfort of your boyfriend
the smell of his cologne mixed with his natural musk settles in your nostrils filling you to the brim with the familiar scent of home
and the way he sits in your mouth, hot and heavy and full makes you melt against his muscular thigh like it’s your own personal pillow
his hand on your head threads its fingers through your roots, fingernails scraping against your scalp in the most comforting way imaginable
a deep sigh leaves your mouth; one of relaxation and contentment
san hears it and feels his body ease into the chair
“good girl,” he hums, “so good for me.”
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nouearth · 8 months
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baby-sitting for miguel o'hara. (part ii)
miguel o'hara x m!reader headcanons.
part i.
warnings: smut, perverted!miguel, top!miguel, soft!miguel at times!!, bottom!male reader, small!male reader, thoughts of sex, fantasy!sex, masturbation, humping, kinda domestic idk.
notes: it's been a long time coming. 💀 i honestly was struggling to find like a plot for the second part, or just how to move forward. lmao. but i hope this turned out okay???
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—never again, miguel promised himself that night. 
—it had been a few weeks since he last jerked off to your briefs. the blue undergarment that he came into were thrown somewhere under his bed, far from his reach.
—and as tempting as it was to smell you again, he mustered up the courage to leave the stained fabric alone. 
—for good.
—miguel despised what he had become.
—settling his sex life on a lone piece of fabric, it was pathetic. 
—from dusk til dawn, you participated in a triathlon of his delirious state of mind and competed for several awards that would then be mediated by miguel. 
—had it been a real competition, he would’ve been fired for exhibiting extreme favoritism because you’d win all the trophies and medals.
—a ‘helping hand’ award he would award you a few mornings ago, where he jerked off to the thought of you giving him a handjob during his lunch break.
—multiple ‘most improved’ awards for when you were able to throat his cock a little more than before.
—and another for when your ass was able to take miguel in without needing to pause or adjust for his size, even if the strain of your facial expressions told a different story.
—gagging in between moans, coughing out thick globs of spit, wincing in bittersweet pain when he pushed in, arching in complete pleasure when he pushed out.
—he loved the idea of watching and hearing you struggle because of his cock.
—though, it was only until recently when he began feeling a strong sense of guilt for portraying you in such a manner.
—it was a promotion at work that allowed his hours to be more flexible than before, and miguel utilized that to the fullest by spending every waking second with his daughter.
—and you.
—even when he came home early, he never sent you home.
—maybe it was the perfect opportunity to get one step closer into your pants.
—or maybe he wanted to get to know the babysitter that gabriella had taken an extreme liking to.
—get to know the babysitter that had somehow made miguel feel something more than simply lust.
—you hungry? you haven’t taken your eyes off of your thesis paper since i got here.
—hm...?
—that night, you’d look up at him with those bright eyes, that bright smile that latched onto miguel’s adam apple and made it hard for him to swallow. 
—it was as radiant as the first time he saw you. one wouldn’t be able to tell that you’ve been pulling all-nighters for the past few weeks.
—oh! i guess i’m a little hungry. i haven’t eaten since breakfast—
—breakfast? i told you that you could rummage through the pantries, right? you practically live here at this point.
—i know, i know! once i get in the zone, i kind of forget about everything… except for gabriella! it’s funny. as loud as her cries are, they’re kind of my savior right now.
—hm...
—it’s getting late, so i’ll just whip up something at home—
—no, stay. i’ll cook something.
—sir, you don’t have to—
—miguel’s chest swelled. that word again.
—i’m cooking. stay, or i’m firing you for wasting my ingredients.
—hey, unfair! pretty sure that’s a violation of our contract or something!
—it didn’t take long for it to become a regular occurrence.
—miguel would cook a late dinner for two, and he’d join you on the couch with a plate of what the limit of his culinary skills could whip up. 
—it wasn’t like this every day, but it was often, which was more than what miguel could ask for.
—he would use the little time he had with you to learn about you more. your interests, your background, your passions, your personality, and you’d do the same. 
—on some nights, he’d proof-read your thesis paper and provide some feedback that you would immediately take in consideration and make the changes to your paper.
—on many nights, he’d simply close your laptop and force you to take a break because as alluring as those recent eye bags were, your health was a priority.
—stay for the night. it’s late.
—i’m almost done for the night! i just have a few more—
—nope, you’ve used up all your excuses. i’m confiscating this.
—where am i even supposed to sleep?!
—and on those many nights, you’d end up sleeping on miguel’s couch despite the persistent offers of his comfier bed.
—there would be times where you two would chat into the night while the tv played in the background. 
—you’d ask each other about your day, tell stories about gabriella, bond over shared interests, fueled debates over a quality of a certain movie, until fatigue hit either you or miguel.
—usually you were the first one to fall asleep, and he would watch you silently.
—the flickering lights from the tv would accentuate your features in the night, and he never knew he could find you even more handsome.
—your complete vulnerability was enticing. 
—you would curl into the blanket he’d given you, and miguel would take the time to count the seconds it would take for you to exhale your dreams.
—the longer it was, the deeper you were into your sleep.
—it wouldn’t be until thirty exhales more that miguel would send himself to bed.
—five seconds, miguel would find himself mimicking the pattern of your breath before he drifted off into the night.
—then there would be nights where the subject matter would be more personal, more than miguel would have liked.
—does it get lonely sometimes?
—i’d be lying if i said no. not all the time, though. i have gabriella.
—huh…
—is that why you’re a complete grump all the time?
—watch it.
—i’m kidding! good thing you have me too, right?
—yeah.
—good thing i have you too… miguel sighed heavily at the empty side of his bed, staring into the darkness until the shadows from the night had forged a shape of your body.
—he closed his eyes when he felt a whisper of your lips near his, barely ghosting over his pair, and stroke himself to the possible reality of you becoming his. 
—fuck... he then lied on his stomach and began humping into the bed, against the bed sheets, and held the imagination of your body close to his own, protecting you like his life depended on it.
—i need you… miguel pressed his face into the pillow, inhaling the memory of your shampoo as he polished his hips further into the bed. 
—his cock rubbed in between his body and the soft sheets as he’d imagine unsheathing himself in and out of you at a slow yet steady pace.
—because he needed to savor you.
—he would imagine how you’d respond with every thrust. 
—your words would glue to your throat because you’d be too overwhelmed by his size, by the pleasure that miguel would finally be delivering to you, by the doting hold around you, and with the aid of his hips, your words would like crystallized honey.
—miguel would push his cock into you deeper, taking in the sound of your voice into his with a warm kiss. — i— 
—you would draw out sounds from your throat until they were practically begs when miguel would pull out excruciatingly slow to tease, then a demand as he would doubt your confession by cautiously following the outline of your pucker with the tip of his cock.
— need—
—his hips would lift, then come down onto you like hail. hard and sudden as his cock would ram into your tight fill, knock your breath back into the tight of your throat.
— you— 
—you need him. 
—miguel could tell from the way you completed allowed him to invade your reserve until he was balls-deep inside of you. 
—from the way he’d pull out once more and your hole would memorize the shape of his cock, down to his thick girth. puckering to the recollection of his throbbing veins.
—and he’d be the one to bridge the puzzle pieces together as he would press himself forward and bend your legs back before slamming his cock back into you  with the delirious evocation of lust.
—you would stifle your moans into your forearm as the bed rocked to the strong rhythm of miguel’s thrusts, but he’d pull your arms away and hold your wrists above your head.
—he needed to hear you.
—hear how much you wanted him, how much you needed him.
— i’m going to come—
—you’d grunt in between the heavy and sticky sounds of your skin colliding against one another, into the thick air that you and miguel had mutually forged together. 
—his other hand had been wrapped around your cock, jerking the throbbing muscle to every count of his balls bouncing off your bottom. 
—he would squeeze and stroke, your pre-cum coming down in thick drips, and he would thumb at the slippery wet slip until the pad of his thumb was layered in your thick substance.
—until his fist was covered in a glorious amount of your warm cum, inking him deep with your devotion before feeding you of your own need. 
—he would bring his hand up to you and slip two fingers inside of your mouth. your tongue would slowly roll over his cum-covered digits, sucking the bittersweetness off of him.
—it wouldn’t be long until it would be miguel’s turn. 
—miguel would continue bringing the remaining fingers up to your mouth for you to cleanse him off, and it would be enough for him to have him in shambles.
—imagining you devour your own sweet lust until all five of his fingers were polished clean awakened him to another level of pure ecstasy, and miguel groaned, rocking desperately into his bed.
—your warm hands would all over his toned body, fueling the tension in his stomach as you would prioritize the center of his abdomen.
—fuck, come in me—
—miguel would his weight onto you, his large body practically devouring you in sheer size as the heat and sweat confined you to the parameters, and he’d hold you close once more by slipping his arms around you.
—a cycle of thrusts quickened every round and you held onto him. kissing at the side of his neck. suckling at the round of his shoulder. 
—i’m coming… he muttered to himself, to no one but the wrinkled sheets beneath him, and fucked his cock harder into his bed.
—and when you heard a shudder coming from the depths of miguel’s strained throat, you licked a stripe at the center of his throat to pacify him, making your way to the plush of his lips, and kissed him at the pivot of his climax.
—miguel would exhale hard against your mouth before kissing you and spilling delirious moans into the captivity when he would begin flooding your insides with his thick and warm cum. 
—heavy ropes would ricochet off your violated inside, but miguel would press into you closer, harder, and intimately so, until your foreheads were bruised into one another.
—in occurring reality, miguel painted his bed sheets in thick layers of warmth and musk. layers of cum wetting his bed as he desperately held onto his fantasies with sensitive rolls of his hips.
—his tongue would tangle into yours, practicing a slow, sensitive waltz as his softening cock would sink deep into your hole. 
—and you would moan and suckle around him as you felt every drop of cum warm you from the inside and out, shielding you from the goosebumps that would frost your skin.
—the kiss would remain its passionate dance as you both relaxed into each other. your legs unwrapped to tangle into miguel’s, expertly lifting the blanket over your feet in the process. 
—he would hold you tighter once he broke the kiss, turning you on your side as he lied flat on his back. 
—your head would rest on his chest after pulling the remaining blanket up to your bodies and you would sigh, suddenly feeling drowsier with miguel’s warm caress aiding sleep against your back.
—for the remaining moment, he would gaze at the sheen of sweat that highlighted the flush of your skin. 
—he would listen to the beat your heart, slowly coming to its resting pace as you succumb to sleep under the spell of his doting touch.
—and he would strangely feel a need to hold you, shelter you inside of his arms because he feared something would happen to you.
—fuck.
—miguel quickly rolled back onto his back in the midst of catching his breath, the shadows that had formed the image of you unfurling into obscurity. 
—he felt his heart race, bullets rebounding off the beating surface like a drum, and he placed a hand over his chest to pacify at the sudden swell of his chest. —i think i love you.
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nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. and if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!
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writingwithfolklore · 5 months
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How to Nail your School Essays
                Not to brag, but I’m kind of a big deal when it comes to essays at my school. Since I started highschool I haven’t received a grade less than 90% on an essay—so I’m here to share my secret. This works for the classic essay, but you can also use the same advice and fit it to formal reports or other academic writing.
1. Your essay is about 2 things, demonstrated 3 or more times
This is how I’ve always thought about essays. They’re about two ideas, demonstrated as many times as you need to fill the wordcount. Shakespeare + Feminism, Media + Truth versus Misconception, etc. etc. If you’re lucky, your teacher or prof will give you one of your elements. You’ll get assignments like, “write an essay about Hamlet” or “write an essay about the American dream” lucky you, that’s your first thing—now you need to connect it with another.
This connecting idea is my favourite part because you just get to choose a concept or idea you’re interested in. Here’s a tip, if your first/given topic is something concrete, choose an abstract connecting idea. If your given topic is something abstract, choose a concrete.
So, Hamlet (concrete) could be paired with any abstract concept: Loyalty, Truth, Feminism, etc.
However, if your prof gives you something like, “truth” or “race theory”, you’ll find it much easier to connect that with a more concrete thing, like a book, movie, or other piece of media, or even a specific person.
If you are luckiest, your prof will give you both things, “write about the American Dream in The Great Gatsby” in this case, you’re onto the next stage.
2. Stick to the formula
Tried, tested, true. Nothing wrong with a formula, especially not when it gives you A+ grades. Typical essay structure is:
Intro with thesis
2. 1st Body
2a. Evidence that proves it 1
2i. Justify its relevance
2b. Evidence that proves it 2
2ii. Justify its relevance
Etc.
3. 2nd Body
3a. Evidence that proves it
3i.Justification
Etc.
4. 3rd Body
4a. Rise and repeat, you know where this is going.
5. Some may argue…
6. Conclusion
Let’s break it down.
Thesis:
                Thesis completely outlines all your points, or the three+ places you’re demonstrating your connection, and why it matters.
                Here is an intro + thesis I wrote a couple years ago:
“This literature review will explore the impacts influencer marketing has on the children that regularly consume social media content. Specifically, this review will focus on how influencers can impact children’s brand preferences, dietary choices, and lastly, the influx of children taking advantage of this system and becoming influencers themselves.”
Or
“Burned discusses the human aspect of sex work and reverses reader’s expectations on sex workers, while Not in My Neighbourhood discusses prostitutes as victims of a system created against them. Both challenge readers’ perceptions of sex workers, effectively drawing attention to the ethics of displacing sex workers from their cities.”
                So you have your connection (children and social media)/(Burned and Not in My Neighbourhood and sex work), and the different ways you plan on exploring or proving that idea (children’s brand preferences, dietary choices, children becoming influencers.) etc.
                You may also have a more specific stance in your thesis. Such as, “In Macbeth, ambition is shown to be Macbeth’s ultimate downfall in these three ways.”
The Body Paragraphs
                You start out every body paragraph with the point of the paragraph, or what it’s aiming to prove. Such as, “Influencers often include advertisements within their content, which can encourage children to feel more amiably to certain brands their favourite content creators endorse frequently more than others.”
                After this claim, you spend the rest of the paragraph further proving it through examples. This will look like citing a specific source (a book, academic journal, quote, etc.) such as, “The authors claim likeable influencers can associate their likeability with the products they use, influencing children’s perception of brands, referred to as ‘meaning transfer’ (De Veirman et al. 2019)” (super important to always cite these sources!)
                The last part is after each example/proof--you need to justify why this proves your point/is important. So, “This proves children are more influenced towards certain products depending on how close of a relationship they perceive to have with the influencer.”
                Typically, your evidence will all lead into each other so you can transition to the next piece of proof, then the justification, rinse and repeat until you’re finished your paragraph. You can have as many pieces of evidence as you want per paragraph, and the longer your word requirement, the more you’ll want to fit into each point (or the more bodies you want to have.)
                Piece of evidence + why it matters, rinse and repeat.
Some May Argue:
                This is a small paragraph just before your conclusion where you anticipate an argument your readers may have, and disprove it. So, for example, you’d start with, “Some may argue that with parent supervision, the impacts of influencers on children could be lessened or moot. However…” and then explain why they’re wrong. This strengthens your argument, and proves that you’ve really thought out your stance.
Conclusion:
                Lastly, you want to sum up all the conclusions you came to in a few sentences. Your last line is one of the most important (in my opinion). I call it the mic drop moment. Leaving a lasting impact on your reader can bring your essay from an A to an A+, so you really want to nail this final sentence.
                My final sentence was, “Ultimately, it is hard to know in advance how technology and social media will impact the development of children who have always grown up with some form of screen, but until they grow up, parents and caregivers need to take care in the content their children consume, and their very possible exploitation online.”
This sentence is backed by the entirety of the essay that came before it, and usually leaves a little something to chew on for the readers.
Any other tips I missed?
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staytheword · 1 year
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on my mind
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on my mind — one shot request by anon [ masterlist ]
• han jisung x female reader.
• non idol au. roommates to lovers. mutual pining. drinking, mention of weed consumption, explicit language, explicit smut.
• smut warnings (spoilers ahead) — porn watching. handjob. oral sex (m receiving). thigh riding. fingering. use of "baby" pet name. protected sex.
• word count: 8.6k
You and Jisung are stressed over your upcoming exams. You need to clear your heads, but you can't find anything that works. That is, until Jisung suggests watching porn together.
• the prompt was friends "using" each other to take the stress out... I hope this will fill your expectations!! ♡
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You slam your book closed, an annoyed sigh escaping your lips. 
You can’t do this anymore. 
You’ve been studying for hours. In fact, you’ve been studying for weeks preparing for those exams. Your eyes are about to melt, your body aching to move from your chair, your brain desperately seeking distraction. You’re sick of this. Sick of stressing yourself out, sick of only allowing yourself to think about what is in these books. The exams are still several days away and you’ll have time to fall back into your anxiety - for now, you deserve a break and you are going to take it.
Or you’re going to try. 
It’s not the first time you tell yourself that - take a break, you deserve it. You close your books and computer, full of resolve, and escape the confines of your room. Each time you end up just pacing the apartment, unable to focus on the movie you’ve put on or the game you’ve started. Once you made it outside for a walk, but you had no idea where to go and ended up walking in circles. Your brain is so preoccupied with your exams you can’t do much else. You wake up and it’s all you think about - and before you know it you collapse on the bed, exhausted.
As you hear someone knock on your door, you blink and realize you’ve been phasing out. You shake your head, slide a hand through your hair - it has gotten too long in the past few weeks - and clear your throat.
“Come in,” you say, your voice a little rusty. 
Jisung pokes his head in from behind the door. “Hey. You hungry?” 
At least you are not alone. Jisung is going through the same thing as you, so you promised each other to do what is necessary to stay sane. Remind the other to eat, for instance, and then eat the meals together, even if it is in complete silence. You’re also very open about your stress, and you force each other to go out or clear your head. If he wasn’t here, you have no idea how you would get through this. 
You hadn’t been sure about becoming Jisung’s roommate at the beginning of the year, but you didn’t regret your decision at all. Some of your friends had raised an eyebrow at you rooming up with a guy, but you trusted Jisung. You resembled each other in a few ways, but were different enough to keep the other on their toes. He was honest, hardworking, but also funny and open-minded. He bought your favorite snacks at the grocery store. He listened to you talk about your difficulties with building your thesis statements. He read your essay drafts and made useful feedback. He made fantastic homemade pizza. He was the best at impressions. He liked to braid your hair. Once he even restacked the pads when you were running low - that day you almost fell in love with him. 
Almost. 
You just had a stupid crush. Who wouldn’t? Jisung was not only kind and attentive, he was also incredibly handsome. Wavy dark hair that shone in the sun. A heart shaped smile that grew so big it swallowed your entire soul. Golden skin that was soft to the touch - you knew from applying a mask on him once. Wide shoulders, a lean and athletic body. You saw him do push ups in his room sometimes, or using the stationary bike you had in the living room. He wiped the sweat off his brow and gave you a smile, nodding his head to the beat of whatever song played in his headphones. 
But Jisung was your friend, first and foremost. Right now, and up until your exams, he was also your ally, your lifeline. You remember, a few weeks back, when you both sat down in front of a bowl of soup and intertwined your pinkies. 
We get through this together, you said.
Together, he repeated, his eyes deeply set in yours. 
Now he smiled gently at you, his mouth a thin line, his eyes wide open but red and glassy from exhaustion. 
“Yeah,” you sigh. “I can cook something, if you want.” 
“That’s ok, I got you,” he smiles. “Why don’t you rest? I’ll get you when it’s ready.” 
You feel something tug at your heartstrings. “Thanks, Ji.” 
With the sweetest smile, he gives you a little nod and disappears, carefully closing the door behind him. You breathe out in the silence, glancing back at your books. You could study a little while Jisung gets the food ready, but you are tempted to listen to him and lie down. A few minutes with your eyes closed couldn’t hurt. 
You drag your feet to your bed, which is luckily not very far, and make the mistake of going under the covers. Your sheets are soft, your comforter heavy. The dim light in your room and the muffled noises of Jisung getting busy in the kitchen are so soothing you slip away quickly. 
You wake up to a hand gently stirring you - you sit up in a jolt, blinking confusingly. 
“Shit, what time is it?” 
It feels like it’s been seconds and years. It’s definitely darker now, and your eyes are puffy with sleep, your skin a little tingly. You recognize Jisung’s silhouette in the darkness as he chuckles.
“I’m sorry to wake you up,” he whispers. “But you need to eat. Then you can go back to sleep, yeah?” 
“R-right. Yeah. Okay.” 
You throw open the covers and get out of bed, not even thinking about the fact that your hair must be a complete mess and your cheeks puffy with sleep. Jisung has seen you in worse states, anyway. You grab a hoodie as you follow him out of your room, one of your socks half slipped out from your foot. 
“It smells really good, Ji,” you comment as you head to the kitchen. 
He turns his head back to you with a smile. He’s wearing a red crewneck, gray sweatpants, and his slippers. You haven’t seen him out of such outfits recently, except for a few nights when he got dressed to go somewhere, but even then his style is always baggy. It’s for this reason you will never forget the one time he got dressed up for a date and wore a tighter shirt. That and the number of times you’ve seen him shirtless, of course. But that’s a whole other issue. 
“It’s nothing fancy,” he says, gesturing to you to sit down at the kitchen island. 
There is an actual table in the dining area, more than large enough for the both of you, but you rarely sit down there to eat. It usually serves as a storage area for random things like folded laundry, groceries, board games or books. Both of you prefer the kitchen island, perching atop the stools that you can twirl to your liking. Half the time you eat there, the other in the living room in front of the television. 
Catching the sight of your hair in the kitchen window, you pull your hoodie on the top of your head and look down at the plate Jisung places in front of you. It is nothing fancy - pasta with creamy sauce, with chopped green onions sitting on top of it, but it smells absolutely delicious and makes your stomach growl. 
“I think I’m drooling,” you state, glancing up at him. “I am so hungry, fuck.” 
Jisung laughs, sitting down next to you with his own plate. “Parmesan?”
“Yes, please.” 
He sprinkles some on your plate, and then on his, before you both start to eat in silence. There’s music playing on the speaker, a song you don’t recognize, and you ask Jisung about it. He tells you about this new band he’s discovered, and you quietly talk as you devour your plates. The sauce, smooth and peppery, is making your taste buds dance, and the food gives you a lot of energy. As you eat, the conversation gets more lively, and you suggest making coffee for dessert. Jisung agrees, and after you insist on doing the dishes first, he says he’ll wait for you in the living room. You hear the familiar song of a game he likes to play and get started on the dishes. As you put down the clean dishes in the drying rack, you sigh. 
A nap. Homemade food. Jisung’s smile. All of these things reassure you, and make you feel peaceful - so why is there such a tight knot at the bottom of your stomach? Why can’t it go away, even for just a few hours? 
You should study again after this.
Drink your coffee with your nose in your books.
You’re wasting valuable time. 
You shut your eyes tight, taking a deep breath as you dry your hands. 
When you sit down on the couch next to Jisung, near the edge of the cushion, not getting too comfortable, you put down his mug of coffee on the table and keep yours in your hands. He shoots you a quick glance. 
“Thanks.” 
You just smile back, a feeble attempt for one, but Jisung catches it. He glances back one more time, frowns. You wish you weren’t that easy to read. You wish you could take a deep breath and smile and he would believe it when you said you were fine. But you’ve never been very good at that. 
Still, Jisung says nothing. He pauses his game, turns the spoon in his coffee mug to mix in the milk. You just stare at yours, the black coffee almost staring back. 
“I should…” You hesitate for a second, then shake your head. “Yeah, I should get back to it.” 
You stand up quickly, hoping to be able to run away before Jisung says anything, but you feel his fingers close around your hand. You look down at him in surprise. He looks at you with wide eyes, looking confused and maybe even slightly annoyed. 
“Right now?” he says. “I thought you’d get some rest.” 
“I did,” you shrug, nibbling on your lower lip. “There’s too much to do, and…” 
“Y/N,” he stops you, shaking his head. “You need to take a break. We need to take a break.” 
You part your lips to retaliate, but Jisung removes his hand from yours and pats the couch. 
“Sit down, please.” 
His voice is low, a little rusty. You swallow, your mouth dry. If only your chest didn’t feel so empty, your heart would be pounding in your chest. 
“I know you’re anxious,” he tells you softly, playing nervously with his fingers. “I am, too. But aren’t you getting tired of, like… just stressing out?” 
You chuckle a little bitterly, looking at Jisung. The light of the television reflects on his skin, mixed with the orange glow of the lamp. The circles under his eyes are dark. His lips are chapped. His nose is still a little red from the cold he had last week. You feel a pang of longing. 
“Of course I am,” you sigh. “But we just have to get through it, right? We just need to make it there.” 
He nods. “I know, but I’m scared of what we’re losing in the process. It can’t be healthy to just study all the time like we do.” 
“What do you suggest, then?” 
He shrugs, leaning back into the couch. His hoodie skirts up his stomach a little as he stretches his arms. You catch a glimpse of skin, of an abdominal muscle. It almost makes your brain glitch. 
“I don’t know,” he breathes. “A distraction? Just for one night.” 
When he sees your hesitation, Jisung quickly continues. 
“I don’t mean dressing up and going outside and being social. Just the two of us, I mean. We can watch a movie, play games… get high.” 
That makes you smile. “We don’t have any more weed since the cookie disaster.” 
“Fuck, that’s right,” he laughs. “But it doesn’t matter. We just need to clear our heads, y’know? Think about something else. Be in denial about the exams. Like they’re not even going to happen.” 
You take a deep breath, still hesitant. Your heart desperately wants to say yes, but your brain is holding back. The voice in your head, telling you you shouldn’t. You don’t want it to whisper your guilt back to you all night. 
“Please, Y/N,” Jisung suddenly adds. There’s something in his voice that catches your attention. Sadness. Despair. “I don’t want to do it without you. We said we’d go through this together, right?” 
You shake your head, staring down at the pinkie finger he is now holding up between you. He’s playing with your heartstrings and he knows it, but you don’t blame him. It’s working too well. There’s not much you would refuse him, anyway - but you don’t tell him that. Instead you smile and wrap your pinkie around his. 
“Okay,” you say softly. “Let’s be in denial together.” 
Jisung grins and you laugh, hitting his arm. 
“It’s not fair that you used the wounded puppy eyes, by the way.” 
“I would never,” Jisung says, shaking his head. 
You take a careful sip of coffee, which is still a little too hot, but the warmth feels nice in your throat. Jisung grabs the second controller and presents it to you. 
“You want to join?” 
Although you are not very good at this game you agree, because you figure it will be a good way to start off the evening. As you pound on the buttons and try not to get Jisung killed in the game, you feel your shoulders relax. It doesn’t make the knot go away, but you do get a little giddy at the idea of not returning to your books tonight. That - and the perspective of spending the next hours with Jisung makes you a little more happy than it should. You already spend a lot of time together, so why would this evening be different? But it still feels like it. 
Once the coffees are empty and the campaign is over, you and Jisung settle on a movie you both wanted to see for a while. You settle on opposite sides of the couch as you usually do, but you end up stretching your legs so much your feet rest against Jisung’s legs, and he doesn’t complain. He even puts a warm hand on your ankle at some point, distracting you a little from the movie. 
The movie ends too quickly, and you end up in the kitchen cleaning the mugs and staring at each other. 
“What now?” you chuckle. “It’s still early. Unless you want to go to bed…”
“No way,” he replies. “I want to make this last as much as possible.”
He is looking at you as he says that, his hair sticking out behind his head because of the way he was slumped on the couch for the duration of the movie, and your heartbeat accelerates. You feel a hotness on the back of your neck and you rub it with your hand. 
“Then maybe we can… Take a walk? It’s not raining or anything.” 
“Snack run? Then we can find something else to watch.” 
“Sounds good.” 
You don’t bother getting changed because it’s dark outside and the grocery store is just around the corner. Besides, you live in a neighborhood that is mostly composed of other students, so two people in sweatpants and hoodies isn’t uncommon at all. After getting plenty of snacks, you head back towards your shared apartment, talking in calm voices. The streets are not too busy, and it’s only slightly chilly. You glance up at the sky, walking slowly, your hand brushing Jisung’s. 
At one point, you realize you are only talking about school and your exams, so Jisung shakes his head. 
“We are so bad at this whole ‘think about something else’ thing,” he laughs. 
You sigh. “We really are. God, this is hard.” 
“We need to find a really good distraction. Something that would really, really disconnect our brains, like…” 
He stops and you look at him with a frown. “Like what?” 
“I dunno,” he answers a little too quickly. “We have to find something, is what I’m saying.” 
“Yeah,” you agree in a whisper, glancing back at him curiously. 
You could swear he is blushing. 
“How about drinking?” he offers. “Not too much so we don’t get headaches, but a little. Being tipsy can maybe help us get inspiration.” 
“I like the idea,” you smile. 
Once you are back inside your apartment, your sneakers exchanged for slippers, you grab a bottle of soju from the fridge and fill two glasses. You and Jisung sit on the floor, backs leaning against the couch, and clink your glasses together. Jisung chooses a random movie on Netflix, and you watch it for a few minutes, unable to concentrate on it. After you’ve taken a few sips, you let out a sigh. 
“You know what would be easier? If we weren’t single.” 
Jisung arches an eyebrow. 
“I mean, we could just call them,” you explain. “Get laid. Get a massage. Make out for hours. That would be really good distraction.” 
“It would,” Jisung laughs. “Don’t you have someone you could call?”
“Like a fuck buddy?” you say. “Jisung, you seem to forget how excruciatingly single and bad at flirting I am.” 
“You can’t be worse than me,” he smiles, taking another sip from his glass. “Last time I tried to get laid I got stood up.” 
“She was a bitch,” you point out. 
Jisung shakes his head. “I thought personality doesn’t matter when it comes to hooking up.” 
“That’s not exactly true.” 
“Like you’re such a pro at this, huh?” 
You gasp at Jisung’s jab, shoving him with your elbow. “That was so mean!” 
“Sorry, sorry,” he laughs, holding his palms up. “I mean, if a massage would do it for you, I can try.” 
You scrunch your nose. “Nah, thank you. I’m actually not much of a massage person.” 
“How can you not be a massage person?!” 
You keep talking and laughing, watching the movie sometimes, and for a while, you think that you’ve actually succeeded at clearing your heads. You feel lighter, distracted. The alcohol and Jisung’s laugh help a lot. But eventually you breathe out and realize that the knot is still there. Insistent. It almost feels like it’s getting bigger. Beside you, you can feel that Jisung is the same. His shoulders are tense, and his eyes, while fixated on the screen, are not seeing anything. You’re a little tipsy so you grab the controller and press pause. 
“Ji, this isn’t working.” 
He turns towards you, looking sheepish. “I know. I’m sorry…” 
“We need something more drastic.” 
He gives you a little nod, and you squint. 
“What was the idea you had earlier?” 
His head shoots up and you can see panic in his eyes. “What? What idea?” 
“Don’t lie to me,” you tell him. “I know your idea face. You thought of something back there, when we were walking back.” 
And there it is - Jisung blushes again, shaking his head vehemently. “Oh. Oh, no. It wasn’t… It’s stupid. It’s not - I just mean it’s… No.” 
You turn your body completely towards his, drawing your knees against your chest. “Ji, come on. Tell me. I’m not going to judge.” 
He gives you a timid look, and empties his soju glass before he clears his throat. You do not know why, but your heart is pounding in your chest. 
Jisung breathes deeply. 
“I was just thinking, that when I need a distraction, like… When I really want to think about something else, I…” 
“Yes?” you encourage him. 
“I jerk off.” 
You stare back at him in shock. You should’ve expected this. You were an idiot not to catch it earlier on. It was a logical answer - and something you’ve tried yourself numerous times in the past couple of days. Slipping your fingers in your underwear, stimulating yourself. Watching porn. But when you did succeed at your orgasms, they always felt underwhelming. They never left you feeling appeased, just even more tense. 
“Oh,” you breathe out.
“I told you it was stupid! I shouldn’t have -” 
“It’s not stupid,” you shrug, and it’s your turn to empty your glass. 
You’re not drunk. You’re just a little tipsy. It’s not barely enough to have this kind of conversation with your roommate - one you have a huge crush on - but it will have to do. You want Jisung to feel comfortable with you. And it’s nothing to be embarrassed of, right? That’s what people always say. So why is talking about it so hard, why is your heart pounding, why is the thought of Jisung jerking off turning you on so goddamn much?
Jisung blinks at you. “It’s not?” 
“Of course not,” you smile a little nervously. “I… I do it too, when I want to relax.” 
He visibly gulps, but you take it as embarrassment. 
“Don’t we all?” you add, a little nervously. 
He nods quickly, maybe a little too enthusiastically. Your cheeks are hot, horribly hot. You need some air. You need another drink. Ten, even. 
“I mean, if you want some time alone…” 
“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Jisung says. “I just, I mean, you know my friend Minho?” 
You nod. “Yeah, why?” 
“He told me about one time, he and his friend, I mean they were dating so it’s not the same, but they - hm, they… They watched porn together.” 
It feels like you can barely breathe. Did it suddenly get very warm in your living room? Because your skin feels like it’s on fire and neither you or Jisung can look at each other directly. 
“People really do that?” you say in a weak voice. 
“Apparently,” Jisung chuckles nervously. “He said it was really fun, so… Yeah, I don’t know why I thought about that.” 
There’s a short silence as you try to make sense of what Jisung is telling you. Is he just telling an anecdote, or is he asking for something? If you agree, will he think you’re crazy or weird? Maybe he’s just sharing. You decide there’s not much to lose. If you are misunderstanding, you can just laugh and pretend you’re joking. 
Your voice is gentle, not very assumed. “You… you want us to watch porn together?” 
Jisung shoots you a very panicked look and for a second you think you’ve just made a huge fool of yourself. But he opens his mouth and stammers out a yes. 
“C-could be fun, I guess?” he adds. 
You breathe out, your heart beating so fast you are sure Jisung can hear it. Surely, he can hear it. How terrified you are terrified at the prospect of watching porn with him. How much you never would’ve thought this could happen. How much you want to do it now. 
“We really don’t have to, it’s just a stupid idea, and -”
“Okay,” you whisper. 
Jisung looks at you. “R-really?” 
“Sure, why not,” you say more decisively, giving him a tight nod. “We can comment on it and everything. Could be fun. I mean, it’s just porn, right? We watch it all the time.” 
You realize your mistake too late, your smile faltering on your lips.
“I - I mean, I do, not all the time, but sometimes, like all people do, and…” 
“You heard me that time, didn't you?” Jisung sighs, slamming his palm against his forehead. 
You can’t hold back a smile this time - a genuine one. Jisung groans as you bite your lip, trying to hold back your laughter. 
“Just say it,” he sighs. 
“I heard you that time.” 
Jisung’s head drops forward in his hands and you chuckle, your shoulders shaking. 
“It’s okay, Ji, it’s not -” 
“The ONE time!” he cries out, looking up at you. You love the smile on his face, both embarrassed and amused, horrified and shy. “The one time I forget to plug in my headphones… I realized too late…” 
“It’s fine,” you repeat, not thinking, and place a hand on his thigh to squeeze it briefly. “It’s just porn, Ji. And I know you’re into hentai, so don’t be ashamed, please. I like it too.” 
Jisung looks at you like his brain is short-circuiting. “You - what - how do you know that?” 
“I was in the room with you and Minho that time you talked about it, remember?” You smile. “Also, it’s the second time his name comes up in our conversation about porn, this is getting weird.” 
Jisung shrugs. “Eh, the man is shameless. But you’re right, I remember now. God, that is embarrassing.” 
“It isn’t,” you smile, twirling your empty glass in your hand. You don’t want to drink anymore - this is already too much adrenaline for you. “I just confessed I’m into it, too. Do you think that’s weird?” 
“Not at all. I think that’s… hot.” 
You smile, feeling your cheeks burn, but you do not know what to answer. Instead, you fill your lungs with air and gather your courage. 
Jisung is observing his nails very carefully. 
“So, shall we?” you say, trying to sound confident.
Jisung glances up at you, searching your eyes for an instant. You guess he must be looking for hesitation, or trying to figure out if you really want this or are doing it just to please him, so you just smile calmly, although you’re unable to hold back your nervousness. 
“Let’s do it,” he answers with a sharp nod.
For good measure, you each pour yourself another drink, and Jisung gets his laptop to plug it so the browser is projected on the television. You wrap your arms around your legs, looking up nervously at the screen. Jisung’s fingers hover over the keyboard. 
“S-so, is there a website you like?” he asks.
“Hm,” you answer, letting out a shaky breath. “Not really. You can go to the one you usually go to. If you’re okay with that.”
“Sure,” Jisung breathes. 
It takes him a few more seconds but he eventually types in a website and you let out a giggle as the welcome page pops up on the screen. 
“What?” 
“It’s just - it’s also the one I use,” you admit, and Jisung grins.
“Really? I like this one because of the categories. They’re a little unusual but so much fun for discovering new stuff.” 
“And the mobile site is so well made,” you add with enthusiasm. “Not like other websites which are impossible to navigate on your phone…” 
“Ugh, tell me about it.” 
You laugh, relieved that this is already easier than you thought it would be. Of course, you haven’t actually put on any porn yet, but at least you are learning to speak of it more or less comfortably. 
A short silence follows as Jisung scrolls up and down the page, and you glance at the thumbnails. Schoolgirls. Medieval fantasy. Monsters. After a minute, Jisung lets out a sigh. 
“I guess we just have to choose one,” he says. 
You bite your lip. “Type in Labyrinth in the search bar.” 
Jisung looks at you, but he still does it. You point out the thumbnail you recognize, feeling almost dizzy. 
“I like this one,” you say in a very soft voice. “The story’s actually really good.” 
“O-okay.” 
Taking a sharp breath, Jisung clicks on the link and the video opens up. He puts it on full screen, and it feels different to watch it on the television. You roll your arms around yourself, feeling terribly shy, and Jisung sits on the couch  next to you - at a reasonable distance, of course. You clink your glasses together and take a sip of soju. 
It’s not so bad at first. There’s an actual story to this video that you enjoy, but you know it doesn’t last that long. You are terrified of what Jisung might say, that he might laugh at you, but you try your best not to overthink everything. As the sex scenes are coming closer, you realize you have not yet exchanged a word and there is still the embarrassing issue of actually getting turned on. You really haven’t thought this through, you think to yourself as the characters start to undress each other. 
Oh, God. 
Kisses. Fondling. The wet sounds of the guy’s fingers slipping into the girl’s dripping folds. You breathe in slowly - but there’s a reason you love this video. It really pushes your buttons, so you can’t help but feel your walls clench around nothing. You should think about something else. You can’t focus too much on this. But you’re already getting wet and your eyes can’t leave the screen because if they do, they’ll inevitably fall on Jisung.
Your friend. Your roommate. Your crush. Who is sitting next to you, watching your favorite porn video with you. Oh, God. 
On the screen, the guy buries his head in between her legs. Licks her wetness as she moans his name. The images are one thing - the sounds are another. 
You’re burning up, pushing your thighs together, trying to stay discreet. 
As the girl’s pleasure builds, the subtitles translate her moans for you. Wanted this for so long, your tongue feels so good buried in me. That’s when you feel Jisung move beside you. Your eyes are instinctively drawn to him, and you catch a glimpse of his parted mouth, his red cheeks, his hazy eyes. 
He has his legs propped up against him. You wonder if he’s as turned on as you. Maybe not. Maybe this isn’t doing it for him.
You focus back on the screen as the girl comes, squirting around the guy’s face. He chuckles, and asks her to suck his cock. She bends down to do it, and Jisung breathes out sharply. 
“The- the animation’s really good,” he says weakly, and you are quick to nod.
“Yeah, right? The movements are really smooth,” you comment. 
Jisung smiles nervously. “Yeah. I - I like it.” 
You want to keep talking, but you don’t know what to say. The questions that burn the tip of your tongue cannot be asked, not really, not right now. You and Jisung are friends who watch porn together. You are not involved. You are not dating. This is just a distraction. 
But now you are horny as fuck and getting tense. You need to relieve the pressure between your legs or you will go crazy. You can already feel your mind buzzing. 
The girl is giving the guy a sloppy blowjob. He is groaning loudly, which is something you like about this video, and she hums in pleasure. 
“The voice acting isn’t that bad, right?” you say. “I like it when we can hear the guy, too.” 
“You do?” Jisung asks. “I thought girls didn’t like hearing us.” 
“Oh my God, it’s literally the opposite,” you chuckle. “Hearing the guys groan and moan is the hottest thing ever.” 
“Really?” 
“Yeah, Ji. Be as vocal as possible, I promise it’s going to make them come quicker.” You shrug. “I mean, I can’t speak for everyone. But it would do it for me.” 
Jisung nods, and you both turn back to the screen just in time for the guy plunging his cock deep inside his partner, making her gasp in pleasure. The squelching noises are turned up, and she is visibly dripping all around him, precum and juices staining the sheets of the bed. 
Yes, fuck me deep, your cock is so big, oh my god! 
You close your eyes, shifting your hips in a desperate attempt to rub yourself against something, but there’s nothing to do - your cunt is just throbbing, and you can feel your slick drenching your underwear. You’re so hot, you want to remove your hoodie, but you also can’t move. 
You lose track of time a little when Jisung’s voice reaches your ears. 
“S-sorry,” he says in a breathy voice. “I can’t help it.” 
You glance at him and notice he has stretched his legs. His gray sweatpants hide absolutely nothing of his erection and you stare at the outline of his cock, hard and thick. You could moan out loud at the mere sight, but by miracle you are able to hold it in. You had noticed Jisung was, let’s say, well equipped, but you did not expect this. 
“I’m so sorry,” he mumbles. 
“It’s fine,” you whisper, shaking your head, finally looking up at him. “I’m really wet, too.” 
Jisung’s cock twitches under his pants and he closes his eyes sharply. “Fuck, don’t tell me that.” 
“S-sorry.” 
“Don’t be sorry. Fuck. I’m sorry.”
You don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the porn on the television, your own arousal, your repressed crush for Jisung or the sight of his stiff cock, but you’re unable to think straight and the words come out of your mouth unprovoked.
“Ji, do you… do you want some help?” 
The thought that you could actually touch him makes your mouth water. You’ve thought about it before, wrapping your hands around him. Closing your lips around his length. Licking him clean. Maybe it’s not as impossible as you thought. Maybe you aren’t that foolish to think it could happen.
Jisung stammers for a few seconds because he gulps. “A-are you really asking?” 
You nod faintly. “I can jerk you off.” 
He stares at you, mouth open. “I mean - If - if- if you’d like it.”  He seems to catch himself, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “You don’t have to, Y/N, it’s…” 
“I don’t mind,” you answer. “I - I’d like it, but only if you want to.” 
“R-right. Hm, okay. But only if you’re sure…” 
You just shuffle closer to him, kneeling beside his body. His smell overwhelms you, so him, his cologne and his soap, soju and candy, and your hands are shaking as you reach for his pants. You hesitate, though, realizing what you are about to do. You’re scared he doesn’t really want this, you’re scared of what it will change, but before you can start to doubt too much, Jisung slides down his sweatpants and takes his cock out himself. 
“H-here.” 
He holds it up for you although he wouldn’t have to. He is so hard it looks painful, veins bulging, slightly curved, pre-cum glistening at the tip. You bite your lip, pressing your legs together, and you’re sitting so close to Jisung you feel his breath in your hair. 
You reach out and wrap your fingers around his cock. It’s warm and pulsating, and Jisung lets out a whimper. You move your hand upwards and downwards, getting used to him, barely seeing the porn that is still ongoing on the screen. All you hear are moans and the wet sounds of fucking and kissing, and it helps you not think too much about what is happening, like it’s not real, like it’s part of the porn. Your fingers slide up to his tip, smearing the pre-cum over Jisung’s cock, and you jerk your hand a little faster.
Jisung lets out a choked moan and his forehead falls against the side of your head. His arm slides around your body, holding you close, the other resting on the couch, gripping the fabric. 
“F-fuck, ah, ah, fuck,” he whispers in your ear, and the sound is like the sweetest music. 
Is Jisung enjoying this? You giving him a handjob while watching porn? This can’t be real. This is the hottest thing you've ever done.
“Is that okay?” you ask him softly. 
“F-feels p-perfect,” he grunts, bucking his hips against your hand. “Y/N…” 
The sound of your name draws a shaky breath from your lips, and your other hand grabs his thigh, squeezing it a little. You try to remain steady, intoxicated by the sounds coming from the television, Jisung’s noises, his cock around your hand, him fucking your palm. 
“I’m n-not going to last,” Jisung whimpers, and you slide up your other hand to cup his balls. That draws a loud grunt from his lips. “Fuck, Y/N!” 
“Hold on,” you whisper, feeling drunker than if you had emptied a bottle of soju by yourself. “I want to suck you off.” 
It might be your only chance. You want to make this moment last - so you have something to think about, the next time your roommate comes into your mind. The next time you dream about Jisung being yours. The next time you tell yourself there is no way he can like you back. You can at least let him go knowing he’s come once around your hands, around your lips. 
“Y-you sure?” 
You nod, shuffling back on the couch a little, bending forward so your lips come into contact with his cock. Jisung buries his fingers in your hair, pulling them together to keep them away from your face. You kiss his tip, your right hand still moving, your left holding his balls. 
“Holy fuck, Y/N… This feels incredible… I’m not…” 
“Just let go, Ji,” you whisper, perhaps a little too tenderly.
You wrap your mouth around his cock, taking him in. You glance up to see his eyes roll back. You’re pretty sure the sex scene is over on the screen, because people are talking, but neither of you are paying any attention. You bob your head, licking every inch of him, and Jisung thrusts his hips slowly, fucking your mouth gently. 
“I’m gonna blow, fuck, please, ah - ah, FUCK -” 
He comes quickly and suddenly, his cum filling your mouth, salty and warm. His cock keeps throbbing between your lips, and Jisung is breathing heavily, his fingers still resting in your hair, all tangled. You take the time to lick him clean, gently, carefully. 
When you sit up, his hand slides down your arm to your leg, and you look at him. He’s not moving, head thrown back, his hair over his slightly sweaty face, his clothes in disarray. 
This is a sight you’ll never forget. 
A taste you’ll never forget. 
You feel something tighten in your chest. 
You’ve fallen so hard for him. 
“Y/N…” he breathes after a few seconds, raising his head to look at you. 
His hands reach for you, and you let him. His hand grazes your cheek, the other gripping your own. You slide your fingers in between his, feeling a little shy. 
“That was unreal,” he breathes, leaning in towards you. 
He doesn’t kiss you, neither does he hug you - he just presses his body against yours, pressing his lips against your hair. It’s such a tender gesture you feel your heart swell in your chest and you ache for touch. You don’t expect anything. You want to run away to touch yourself, to fuck yourself thinking of him, but you don’t want to leave his warmth. 
“Come here,” he whispers. “It’s your turn.” 
Your heart skips a beat. You want to tell him he doesn’t have to, but he’s already wrapping his arms around you, bringing you closer. You end up on his lap, and instinctively you guide your legs so you straddle one of his legs, your core flush on his thigh. 
The pressure, despite the layers of clothing, draws a moan from between your lips and you dig your fingers in his skin. 
“Jisung…” 
“Does that feel good?” he asks in a whisper.
When you nod, Jisung raises his thigh a little, applying more pressure on your cunt, and the wave of pleasure makes you arch your back and grind against him. 
“Don’t hold back,” he breathes as you start to roll your hips. “Like you told me. Just let go.”
He places a hand on the small of your back, accompanying you in your movements. He breathes in your neck, warming up and tickling your skin, your cunt clenching tighter and tighter. His thigh is tense, pressing against all the right places, and you can’t stop moaning. 
You push yourself up a little, pressing a hand against his chest, and you want to get rid of all those clothes, and feel him under your skin, but you can’t stop moving, and you are so close to coming.
Jisung is breathing hard against you, pushing his leg upwards, his hands massaging your waist, helping you move as you ride his thigh. “That’s it, baby…” 
The nickname alone almost ends you.
He kisses your collarbone and you think you might explode. “You sound so good. I’m so fucking obsessed with you,” he says. 
The words take your breath away. You shudder, your fingers squeezing his as you roll your hips a little slower. “You - what?” 
It’s like he doesn’t hear you. “Baby, please, can I make you cum?” 
You just nod, his words echoing in your mind, unable to be truly grasped as your orgasm builds up. His hand slides down your pants and he pushes his fingers under your panties, pressing them against your wetness. You let out a moan at the direct contact, feeling your body jolt. 
“You’re so wet,” Jisung groans in your ear. 
You can’t bring yourself to speak. You’re already so close to your climax that when Jisung starts to circle your clit, pushing his fingers in between your folds, it only takes a few seconds for you to come undone, breathing out his name. It feels like a tidal wave, like a power surge, like everything you have dreamed of. You feel him smile, his fingers teasing you until you have to grab his wrist and pull them away. 
“S-sensitive,” you chuckle, unable to open your eyes, feeling drained. 
He nods with a soft laugh. You can feel against your leg that he’s hard again, but he doesn’t do anything. He just looks at you as you try to steady your breathing, your legs trembling. You don’t want to move - he is so warm next to you. But eventually, you realize the position you are in, and so you slide off him. Jisung helps you, his hands guiding you back on the couch beside him. 
You feel breathless, like you’ve just ran a marathon. Once your eyes are able to focus, you stare at the screen without really seeing it. You try to grasp what has just happened. You wonder what’s next. You are afraid.
“Y/N…” 
Jisung’s voice reaches your ears but you can’t bring yourself to look at him. What now? Can you stay roommates? Can you even stay friends? Your heartbeat accelerates and you sit up on the couch, suddenly feeling antsy. 
“I - I should… I need to go to the bathroom.” 
“Y/N, wait -” 
You know it’s unfair, but you ignore him and quickly walk away. You close the bathroom door, breathing out. And then the oddest thing happens.
You smile. 
You giggle in surprise, putting your fingers to your lips. Fuck, you can’t stop smiling. You should be nervous, you should be terrified. But none of those feelings are lasting - you are only smiling like an idiot. Jisung’s words resonate in your head. I’m so fucking obsessed with you. 
Sometimes things need to change. Sometimes they should. Sometimes they are meant to. 
When you open the bathroom door again, Jisung is waiting for you on the other side. His big eyes are filled with worry, pleading, and fear. 
“Y/N, please, listen -” 
You don’t think. You just kiss him. 
Jisung does not move at first, and when you take a step back, your cheeks burning up, he stares at you with shock. 
“What are you -” 
“I like you,” you blutter out. “I like you a lot.” 
It takes another second, but Jisung’s lips curve into a smile. His eyes do not leave yours, but the light in them changes. Soon his heart-shaped grin makes your heart swell in your chest, and he’s picking you up in his arms and kissing you again. 
You push him gently against the wall. “Please touch me again.” 
You guide his hands on your waist, and he breathes hard in your mouth. 
“I like you so much,” Jisung says, and his lips brush against your ear, making you breathe out. “I have such a massive crush on you. Never let myself act on it… I was too scared, you know.” 
“I know,” you whisper back. “Me too.”
“I like everything about you,” he whispers. “Your laugh. Your passion. Your smell. Your skin… Fuck, you’re so gorgeous. You don’t have any idea how beautiful you are. How fucking sexy.” 
You part your mouth wider, and he pushes his tongue against yours, playing with it, his teeth teasing your lips. His hard cock is pressing against you, making you crave him again, and you want to feel him inside of you, so deep you can never be separated again. 
“Can I take you back to my room?” he asks in between two kisses. “I want to fuck you in my bed.” 
You feel yourself throbbing and you can’t hold back a moan as you nod.
It happens fast - Jisung takes your hand and guides you to his room. You’re pretty sure the porn is still playing on the television back in the living room, but who cares? You only have eyes for Jisung.
You know his room so well. The smells, the colors. The desk, the blankets, the clothes. The stickers on the window. Yet it all looks different as you step inside holding Jisung’s hand. He draws you close, bringing you back into a kiss. You collapse against him, letting him guide you to his bed.
He lifts you like you’re a feather, laying you down, his body above yours. Jisung is quick to cover your neck with kisses, his wet lips smearing saliva on your skin. He removes your hoodie, palms your breasts, who are only covered by a tank top.  
“Fuck, those tits…” 
You can hardly breathe, loving each of his caresses. The sheets smell so much like him it’s almost overwhelming. After removing the rest of your clothes, he spends a long time kissing and licking your breasts, playing with your nipples, drawing hisses and moans from your lips. After a while you whimper in protest, because your walls are begging for him.
“Ji, please…” 
His mouth breaks into a grin, and he comes back to push his lips against yours. He kisses you surprisingly tenderly, and you moan against his mouth, because this feels so right, so true. His fingers stroke your hair, your cheek, and your hands travel down his back and then upwards, lifting his crewneck. He removes it, and you arch your back against him, your nipples pressed against his chest, his lips ardently seeking yours. 
Soon he is naked too, and as he keeps kissing you, his cock teases your wetness. From his shuddered breathing, you know he can’t wait much longer, and you squeeze his arm, hoping he understands your signal. It seems like he does, because he sits up a little, leaning towards his bedside table to open a drawer. He fumbles inside of it, muttering nonsense, until he finally pulls out a condom. You giggle and Jisung laughs with you, and you feel warmer than you ever have. 
Once Jisung has safely put on the condom, he guides his cock against your entrance and glances at you. 
“Can I - I mean - You sure?” 
“Yes,” you nod. 
You wish you could look at his length disappearing inside of you, just because you’ve desired it so much, but once Jisung enters you, your head falls back on the pillow. He goes slow, leaving you time to adjust, stopping when you breathe a little more sharply. It takes a minute, but eventually he fills you up, and you wrap your arms around him, breathing out. 
“Are you okay?” 
You nod. “Sorry. It’s just been a while.” 
“There’s no rush,” he tells you softly. “We can go slow.” 
You smile, pulling him into a kiss. 
“Just tell me if it’s too much,” he breathes in your ear. 
He starts to move, thrusting his hips carefully. Your body recovers quickly, though, and soon you can shift your hips alongside his, easing his movements. He fucks you gently and deeply, sending shivers up your spine, and you’ve certain you’ve never had sex like this. You breathe together, move together, moan together. 
You take your time, your orgasm rising slowly and surely. You dig your fingers in his skin, shudder when you hear him grunt. You shift positions after some time, so that your legs can be wrapped more easily around his waist, and he’s so deep inside of you that you feel your walls throb with pleasure. 
“J-just like that,” you whisper to him. “Fuck, I’m coming…” 
“I can feel you,” he whimpers. “Come, baby, I’m so close too…” 
You cry out in his neck, the sound slightly muffled, and Jisung follows you seconds afterwards. You feel every throb of his release. You’re still shivering as he looks down in panic. 
“Fuck, I’m - I’m sorry, I didn’t pull out…” 
“It’s okay,” you reassure him. “There’s the condom, and I take the pill…” 
He still looks worried so you kiss him, feeling at peace. You are safe, you feel safe. Jisung eventually relaxes, and after throwing away the condom, he slumps on the bed beside you, snuggling his head in the crook of your neck. His fingers brush your cheek to put a strand of hair behind your ear. 
“I want to make you cum every day,” he says gently. “With my fingers, my mouth, my cock.” 
“Hmm,” you smile. “I like that idea.”
“Yeah?” he grins. “I want to sleep next to you. See your face in the morning, the sunshine against your cheeks… Your arms wrapped around me.” 
With every sentence he places a kiss, making you sleepy and perfectly awake at the same time, your mind consumed by the images he draws. 
“I want to keep cooking for you. Make you smile. Drive you to the dentist…”
“Jisung, you don’t have a car,” you laugh.
“I’ll get one. And I want to get rid of those fucking doors between us.” 
“Jisung.” 
You open your eyes, grab his face so he looks at you in the eyes. 
“Will you kiss me?” 
Jisung pushes your hair away from your face and does exactly that.
Some time later, you smile. 
You have not drawn the curtain yet, so the moonlight penetrates the window, illuminating the room in soft blues. You graze your nose against Jisung’s chest, listening to him breathe. He’s slowly falling asleep beside you, the covers drawn over your naked bodies.
“Hey, you know what? It worked. I haven’t thought about studying all night,” you whisper to him. 
You hear him chuckle. “Hm. I don’t even know what you’re referring to. My head is completely empty.” 
“So is mine,” you say with a laugh, planting a kiss on his warm skin. “I can’t even remember what day of the week this is.” 
“I can only think about you,” Jisung replies, stroking your hair. “I like you a lot.” 
“Me too, Ji. Me too.” 
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I'm so sorry for not updating as much as I used to. I hurt my shoulder pretty bad and couldn't write for a while, and now my head won't let me.
Let me know if you enjoyed this! Thank you for all of your support and love. ♡
taglist: @ughbehavior ; @upallnight-s ; @changbinluvr ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan ; @lotus-dly ; @cb97percent ; @j-0ne25 ; @hwan-g ; @jhopesucker ; @leedunno ; @septicrebel ; @imtoooyoungforthisshit ; @sikebishes ; @sai-kida134 ; @sstarryoong ; @alexis-reads-fics ; @luvsskz ; @beautifulcolorgarden ; @sensitiveandhungry
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san8ny · 2 months
Text
Honestly, GeekSquad! Ellie
GeekSquad! Ellie who’s really got nothing going on for her other than updating her LinkedIn picture here and there, alternating between her college ID photo and a the default flower.
GeekSquad! Ellie who spends her days sitting in uncomfortable swivel chairs, and having to tiredly explain over and over again to elderly women that the promotional sign outside does NOT mean ‘hand in your old phones and get free smart ones!’
‘No ma’am, we don’t take Nokias.’
‘But the sign said give one, get one free!’
GeekSquad! Ellie who’s eyes squint in confusion when she sees you enter from the slide doors, arms crossed as you curiously look around for any standby employees. She doesn’t really ever see hot girls at her location.
GeekSquad! Ellie who practically knocks over some USB stand in her pursuit of getting to you first, which is uncommon since she’s all the way in the back.
GeekSquad! Ellie who notices your pursed lips and teary eyes as you show her your broken laptop.
GeekSquad! Ellie who takes you over to the little stand-by bar, setting your device down, which, let’s be honest, was a lost cause from the start.
‘W-will you be able to fix it? I have my senior thesis on there!’ You practically choke up, the mere thought of months of hard work going down the drain making you tremble.
GeekSquad! Ellie who’s suppose to give you the generic capitalistic answering of, ‘Well, you can always make a membership with us and get 20% off a future purch—
“I’ll fix it.”
GeekSquad! Ellie who’s now being held in a warm embrace by you, your tears now soaking her blue polo workshirt. It’s bad enough you’re pretty, but a pretty crier?
“Thank you so much! God, you don’t even know how much trouble you’ve saved me!” You stumble over words, disoriented as you begin to let go of the lanky girl.
GeekSquad! Ellie who waves a hand in dismissal, scoffing as she leans on the counter, “That thing? Pfft, i’ve done harder things.”
GeekSquad! Ellie who’s lied, and has likely lied to also get this job—but that’s beyond things!
“I just,” You say breathlessly, looking around, “I went to the other branch? Downtown? They said it was over!” You whisper to her, all doe eyed, “you really are amazing.”
GeekSquad! Ellie who blankly stares down at you, she’s always had a thing for frazzled girls such as yourself; the ones who just say the very shit Ellie only watches in cheesy movies.
‘Right..guess you’re in-luck you came here?” She probes, typing your name and number into the system to get you all checked in for an appointment.
‘So lucky.’
GeekSquad! Ellie who after her shift, goes home and makes a bee-line for her room, slamming it shut and shedding her clothes, needing to fuck herself to you while the interaction is still fresh, and the night is still young.
‘S-she said she’s—mm, lucky! f-for me..’ She whimpers, pumping 2 fingers in her drenched pussy, and her other hand busying her perky tits. Her eyes are furrowed, and her teeth threaten to break the skin of her lips from the way she’s biting them; Her messy cunt squelches from the speed she’s going at, cum trailing down her thighs in a sluggish matter.
GeekSquad! Ellie who switches on over to her tummy, raising her ass up as she relentlessly slaps at her swollen pearl through her plethora of orgasms— she thinks you’d do it like this, giving yourself something to cry about. It makes sense to her. She wants to practice on herself to perfect it for you.
GeekSquad! Ellie who, once tired out, realizes how fucked up this just is. I mean, she’s so..perverse. So nasty.. so..so..
so GeekSquad! Ellie
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sleepingoreo · 3 months
Note
Just thinking about Yan Sunday with Layla reader…
Reader is so tired, weak and stressed all the time about her study and thesis… reader’s state could be vulnerable to him since he can grabs her so easily.
Or Cryo Vision? He just need to keep away from you, make you lose memories and lies that you are his lover.
Please, I need Sunday post with Layla reader..
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Yess Ofccc! I love Layla sm she's so pretty and I relate to her a lot, but I ignore my work on purpose. But her design is so pretty when I first saw her she became my favorite immorality like Furina! I Barely sleep now because of tests and exams. Also Thank you for the request <3
Pairing: Sunday x Layla reader
Warnings: Yandere Sunday, a bit ooc, mention of drugging/spike drink, manipulation
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The paper, assignment, and late work kept piling up on you. You can't catch a break even after completing each assignment. Your sleep schedule started getting messy which raised concern from Sunday.
Yet Sunday never liked how you pushed everything aside to focus on your academics. He secretly hated the mentions of your future that’s without his picture in there. How you'll leave the dreamscape in Penacony once you graduate and finish your studies here, yet he kept a happy smile pretending to support your goals.
Recently a big project and essay was coming soon. You need to submit your thesis and get it approved as soon as possible. Writing endless papers piling up anything to get this approved like your life depends on it.
Sunday lent you his office since the library was packed with others trying to get their thesis approved too. Sunday quietly works on his paperwork reading the new bills and policies trying to get passed. Work was keeping you both busy yet you still couldn't help but start dozing off.
Your head and eyes felt heavy falling slightly. Your tired body rested against Sunday's shoulders causing him to look up from his paperwork and towards you. He raised an eyebrow before smiling and caressing your cheeks.
The tea he offered you really seemed to take effect quickly. He couldn't help but to spike your tea before offering it to you. He couldn't stand seeing the eye bags under your eyes when you forced yourself awake even though your body was already weak enough. The way you've been ignoring him and growing distant from him to focus on your studies, he despises the fact you cared more about your academics than him.
He caressed your hand gently. He was glad you were deeply asleep knowing he was soon going to perform the last step to keep you for himself…
You woke up in a room and stretched. You felt more at ease but a sinking feeling appeared in your heart when you realized your thesis and project was due.
You scrambled, throwing the blanket off and seeing Sunday's hands stopping you and shushing you holding you in his arms.
"What's the matter? You looked at peace when sleeping?" He cooed at you brushing his hands through your strands of hair.
You stumbled over your words as you tried explaining your thesis still needed to be submitted before the due date. Sunday's face darkens slightly as he forms a wan smile
"Oh, the one you were working on? A friend of yours came in stating they were your partner for this thesis and were going to submit the thesis for you today," He held your hands in his.
Your face and heart dropped so far below. You sobbed as you scrambled hugging yourself and started ignoring his words. You were furious at Sunday even though you knew it wasn't his fault for falling for this trick. You’ve never told him what you were working on anyway.
"Oh dear, I'm sorry I didn't know," he said in his sweet tongue. Gosh, you really can't hate him but blame yourself.
In the end, the due date passed and it was too late. You sobbed and sobbed as Sunday held you in his arms comforting you. You were so fragile to him. A fragile weak human who needed his and The Harmony's protection, yet mostly for you to rely on him.
As you cried you looked in his pile of trash paper to see your thesis. You pushed yourself off him and grabbed the paper pushing aside his pile of documents and scattering them all over the floor.
Fury arose yet you sat there in complete silence and confusion, "why?" You muttered weakly dropping the paper as you broke out into a sob, "Why Sunday? Why did you lie?"
Sunday wing's on his head tense up as well as his expression as his smiles slowly fade away.
"What do you mean? Your thesis? I thought you meant the project you were working on earlier," He tries to hide his guilty expression by the fact he was caught in a lie.
Before you could comment you were dragged out by the Bloodhound Family. Sunday was going to make sure you never stress over any academics again.
You open your eyes in a white room. You sat up smelling a familiar white room and bed. A hospital? You looked and saw a man. Gray hair, white angel wings on his head, a golden halo floating above his head, and a sweet angelic smile plastered on his face.
"I'm Sunday... Do you remember me, darling?" The man named Sunday introduces himself with a question. Yet even though he felt similar you couldn't break down why.
"I feel like I know you"
"That's great darling" he brushed the hair from your forehead planting a kiss on your head. "I'm your lover, not just your boyfriend."
You didn't stop him but sympathized with his feelings. Sunday was never going to let you leave this dream now. You'll never have to cry or mess up your sleep schedule and health anymore. You were just too fragile to face reality so he’ll insist the dreamscape is the only safe haven for your fragile body. This was the true dream he longed for and he will make sure you love it too. 
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barcaatthemoon · 4 months
Text
break time || mapi leon x reader ||
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you take a break from writing your thesis paper to spend some time with mapi.
it wasn't that you were unhappy, but rather just laser focused. you were so close to completing your thesis for your doctorate. mapi knew that this was important, it was your entire life's work. it would be the reason that you truly got to do what you wanted in life, so she had to leave you alone. the only issue was that mapi didn't want to sit by herself in the living room all day anymore. she had been alone all weekend, and all she wanted was to spend a little time with you.
the look on your face whenever mapi entered your office was clear frustration. you had everything written out, and now, it was time for editing. that had always been your least favorite part of writing papers. the edits weren't too bad this time, but the sheer size of your thesis paper was massive. so, it was taking you nearly twice as long to finish it.
"bebita, you've been at this all weekend. come and take a break with me, por favor," mapi pleaded with you. she wasn't above getting on her knees in front of you, whether to beg or distract you had yet to be determined.
"i guess that i could take a little break," you reasoned. mapi was surprised when you gave in so easily. she took your hand and led you into the living room. she wanted nothing more than to just curl up with you on the couch, but you were somewhat restless. you couldn't stop moving, and after a little while, mapi was getting up and putting her shoes on. "where are you going?"
"we are going for a walk. you need to move. vamos," mapi said. she pulled you up from the couch and swatted at your butt. it was all in good fun, but you let out a little grumble. your paper had exhausted you, even if you were brimming with excess energy to burn off. mapi noticed, but didn't say anything. she wasn't quite sure what you needed, or if you even knew that yourself.
you felt a little better after the walk. mapi had let you hold her hand and lean up against her side the entire time. it was nice to be so close to your girlfriend after not having seen her for what felt like the longest time. mapi seemed content with letting you cuddle up next to her even after the two of you had gotten back.
"do you feel better?" mapi asked you as the two of you settled back on the couch. she had expected for you to go back to your paper, only to be pleasantly surprised. she was sort of over lounging around by herself, but could have spent the week rotting with you on the couch watching trashy tv shows.
"a little. i'd like to take more time to relax with you before i go back, though," you told her. mapi nodded as she pressed a kiss to your temple. you let yourself sink into her embrace, which was nearly enough to lull you to sleep. however, you knew that you couldn't afford to take a nap right now, not with the amont of work you still had left.
"i miss this," mapi mumbled quietly. she wasn't quite sure whether or not you were still awake. there had been just enough silence for her to know that you could have easily fallen asleep. you glanced up at her and smiled, the same thought having crossed your mind.
"me too. i can't wait until i have my degree and we can spend time together again." mapi leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips. it was soft and fairly quick, but still enough to have you breaking out with an even wider grin.
"ah, there it is!" mapi clapped her hands together, causing you to jump. "there's that smile i love so much. i was beginning to wonder whether i'd get to see it at all before you went back to work."
"you're ridiculous, i smile at you all the time. i can't help myself," you admitted. mapi tilted her head as she brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.
"yes, but that's a special smile. that's the one that lets me know you're just as far gone for me as i am you," mapi said. you knew that she didn't doubt how much you loved her, there was no way. the two of you were madly in love and had been for years. if anything, you had managed to fall even further in love with her since you started going for your doctorate than whenever the two of you had really started getting serious.
"if i was any more affectionate, you'd be spoiled beyond repair," you teased. mapi knew that it was true, but she still sat there with a pout on her face until you leaned forward and kissed it off. mapi tried to deepen the kiss, but you broke it as you slid off of the couch. "break time is over. i'll be back in for dinner, you can pick tonight, mi vida."
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pugh-bug · 1 month
Text
Flashing Lights
Art Donaldson x reader
If people like this I’ll write a part 2 and possibly some sub Art fics in the future. Challengers is all I can think about at the moment and this blonde man is living rent free in my brain.
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‘Come on come on, they can never have too many pictures taken of them!’
Your friend dragged you and your mediocre camera, quite forcefully, to Tashi Duncan’s party. It wasn’t just that you hadn’t been invited and that you weren’t remotely a tennis player it was that Ashley’s lame excuse of ‘they need more photographers’ was patently untrue. Everywhere you looked there were photographers with cameras that cost more than your yearly rent.
‘I’ll get us a drink wait here.’
You watched her confidently insert herself into the queue for the bar, in between endless posters of Tashi Duncan hoodies and Tashi Duncan headbands. If you hadn’t been such a feminist you might have felt a little sick from all the masturbatory self promotion.
In your idleness you decided to people watch. There were no less than a hundred people there already, all dressed elegantly with hair and makeup that no doubt took longer to do than the night would even last. You pulled at your tight dress. Flattering? Definitely. Comfortable? Absolutely not. Ashley had the tennis body, the Tashi Duncan confidence and skill but without the praise or queue of fans. You had your camera.
You hadn’t touched a tennis racket since you were ten years old. These people weren’t your peers they were your betters, including the snobby photographers and perhaps even including Ashely. At least she knew what ‘down the line’ meant.
‘Can we go?’ Your voice sounded bitter as Ashley handed you a cocktail. ‘I’ve got two photoshoots to edit for tomorrow and I don’t even like tennis! Why am I even here?’ As your friend defended her plan to ‘sleep with as many rich tennis players as possible’ your eyes wandered once again, this time landing on a man who needed no introduction.
‘Is that … Art Donaldson?’
It was him, smoking a cigarette by Patrick Zweig dressed for Summer. Fire and ice in the flesh. You suddenly felt the need to readjust your dress, your hair, your earrings. To fidget. To fidget and prepare for the chance he might look in your direction and see what he wanted.
‘Fuck me it’s Zweig.’
As Ashley launched into a thesis on why Patrick was the hottest man she’d ever seen, your eyes bored into the side of Art’s head. His curls fell so perfectly on his forehead but all you could find yourself imagining was messing them up. As your staring breached the line of too far, Ashley tapped your arm. ‘Think I should go talk to him? Flirt a bit? He’s a bit of a man whore, I’m pretty sure I could get him.’ Just as you opened your mouth to speak, the recipient of your staring began to move closer.
It only took a few moments for Art to reach yours and Ashley’s corner of refuge but his eyes never strayed from you. Zweig had followed him like a puppy and whilst you couldn’t have cared less where the brunette chose to stand, you could practically feel Ashley screaming in her head.
‘Aaliyah right? You basically murdered my friend out there yesterday.’ As Ashley corrected Patrick’s memory, you forced your eyes to look at anything that wasn’t Art’s knowing smirk in your direction. It didn’t work, in fact your refusal to make eye contact with the future star had made your feelings glaringly obvious.
You’d watched him play many times, instead of doing your own work, and although you found tennis a little boring the man had you riveted. The ease at which he hit the ball with such force, the little hand movements he’d do during a tie break and his cruel habit of taking his shirt off on hot days … you were hooked.
As he eyed your dress you wondered if he’d seen you, made note of just how many matches you’d been front and centre at. Maybe he knew you were an amateur photographer and perhaps his smirk was intended as a mockery of your being there. Art knew you didn’t belong at thee Tashi Duncan’s after party. You both knew it. He looked at you, finally as you’d lifted your gaze, and cocked his head slightly to the side.
‘So, you don’t like tennis?’
Shit.
‘Oh. You heard that.’
‘Yep.’
His voice was glazed with amusement as he sipped his cold beer, daring you to defend yourself.
‘Ashley was invited,’ you lied with little ease. ‘I’m here as her friend- well I guess also photographer but you all seem to have that covered.’ Both yours and Art’s eyes glanced at the gang of professionals taking Tashi’s photo. She was holding the shimmering trophy as if it was nothing of real value, she had the humble but proud smile down. Art clocked your jealous expression and raised an eyebrow. ‘Tashi not your favourite?’
‘She’s pretty amazing and she looks fucking beautiful tonight I can’t lie. I just, I guess I wish I was that talented.’
Despite her successful flirting to Patrick, Ashley heard your little, sad admission. Mentally you scolded yourself for letting Art see your vulnerable side. Instead of judgement he smiled.
‘Are you not the best at getting front row seats?’
He left off ‘at my matches’ but the point had been made loud and clear. You chose not to react and to ignore him completely. ‘Ashley?’ But when you turned your head to your friend you saw her mouth was occupied. Oh.
Art laughed at his best friend. ‘Seriously? You couldn’t go one night?’ No, Patrick couldn’t and he couldn’t find it in his horny heart to feel guilty for stealing your one friend and escape route from you. The pair, still connected by their lips, hurried away from the party and to some poor fucker’s bedroom. You were alone with Art Donaldson and the party that engulfed the two of you had began to die down.
‘I should go too-‘
‘Wanna go down to the beach with me?’
You couldn’t help but scoff audibly at his request. ‘You don’t even know my name.’
Art’s eyes practically gleamed with cheekiness as he moved towards you. ‘Then tell me.’
‘It’s Y/N.’
With a charming smile he repeated his offer. ‘Y/N… wanna go down to the beach with me?’
If a mind reader had been in attendance you’d have been mortified as your first thought was: Oh god have I even shaved?
The decision to take your heels off had been an impulsive one and an instant regret as you felt the brittle sand rub against your toes. Avoiding the broken glass, you walked into Art’s shoulder and quickly apologised. ‘You’re like a baby deer.’
You perched on the rock overlooking the water that moonlight reached. Art’s eyes were transfixed on you as your hair blew from your shoulders. Surely he was just bored and flirting for fun. But you hadn’t seen him speak to anyone except Patrick before approaching you.
‘What is it about photography?’ Art gestured to the camera you almost forgot you were still wearing around your neck.
‘What is it about tennis?’
Art lit his second cigarette, took a drag and smirked.
‘I’ll let you answer that.’
Much to his elation, your dress had begun to ride up but you hadn’t noticed. You simply dug your toes in the sand and smiled coyly at the blonde. But how to best handle this?
‘Watching you play tennis isn’t like watching other people play tennis.’
Art grinned, only for a moment, but you caught the ego boost in real time. He moved backwards in his chair, outstretching his long legs and looking up at you with keen interest and quiet amusement. ‘Go on.’
Your mind flashed back to his most recent match. His opponent had purposefully coughed every time it was Art’s turn to serve and instead of letting it distract him or doing it back Art had fired the ball, with force, by his head. It had been a warning, not a greatly subtle one but certainly great to watch. The shock on the boys face as he narrowly missed receiving a black eye had made you laugh and you suddenly remembered Art had beamed at you when you had.
‘You’re just really good at it.’
‘Try again.’
He wasn’t making this easy for you but that didn’t mean you had to shower him in compliments, not when he hadn’t so much as asked you your name until prompted. You watched him, completely settled and comfortable in Tashi Duncan’s deck hair and wondered if someone this confident and talented (and knew as much) could possibly be single… unless?
‘Are you and Patrick just friends?’
He twitched ever so slightly at your question before covering his shock with a chuckle.
‘Umm.. yes. Sorry to disappoint.’
You smiled, suddenly feeling more confident now that you’d put him on the spot for the first time that night.
‘Not disappointed.’
Seeing you at ease, seemingly with any answer he had to offer, Art relaxed into his chair again. A moment of silence passed as the two of you listened to the very end of the party above and the seas tumbling waves. The water was just beginning to reach the rock you’d been safely perching on. A sign to leave.
‘I think I should go back to my ho-AAA!’
You’d barely taken two steps before buried broken glass assaulted your feet.
‘Jesus fuck!’
‘Y/N!’
The pain shot through you from toe to head, it settled in between your eyebrows as you frowned, trying not to scream. Art’s face was a picture of panic. He couldn’t help but notice how much pain you were in from putting weight on your foot, which had just begun to bleed as a thought entered his head.
‘I’ll carry you.’
‘I think I can walk.’
You took a hesitant step further but your foot ,in an act of betrayal, buckled under the pain. Giving Art a look of defeat you sighed. ‘Yeah, I think you’re gonna have to.’
You thought it would feel strange, the man whom you’d been watching almost obsessively for months play a sport you despised carrying you to safety. It didn’t. It felt right. His strong arms flexed under your weight as he took confident but cautious steps to Tashi’s party. There wasn’t much left of it. In fact the only people still there were two photographers packing up their lighting equipment and they didn’t give you so much as a second glance.
‘Any chance you secretly are friends with Tashi?’ Art asked, his voice hopeful, hoping he could drop you off to safety. He pursed his lips when you shook your head. Another moment of silence passed through the two of you but this one was different. You craned your neck out to gage the distance before suggesting:
‘My hotel really isn’t far. A mile at most.’
Art smirked for a moment, forgetting what the actual circumstances were. Your foot had stopped bleeding but you didn’t feel like walking. In fact you were rather enjoying Art Donaldson: the knight in shining armour. It was a good look on him.
‘Uber?’
‘Think of it as a workout.’
It wasn’t the recreational workout Art had been hoping for that night but he did it. He carried you and your shoes to your hotel room. The receptionist barely reacted to your new person but of course what did she care? She was probably only concerned with what mess you’d leave the cleaners.
‘67, this is it.’
Art put you down, keeping his arm around your waist for support. He was a little flushed from the exertion and you were flushed from the pain, or perhaps just his wandering hand.
‘Do you want me to st-‘
‘I want you to stay.’ You interrupted him hurriedly, desperate for him to stay. In that moment you didn’t mind if he stayed to read the complimentary bible next to you or if he wanted to fuck you mercilessly in front of the bathroom mirror. You just wanted him close.
At your eagerness, Art smiled following you in. Your hotel room was not too messy for visitors but it certainly hadn’t been expecting any. For a moment you wondered how Ashley was getting on in her room down the hall and if she too had embarrassed herself in front of her favourite tennis player. Somewhat likely.
‘I think seeing as you’ve carried me bleeding you can see me in pyjamas. Give me one se-‘
You gestured to the bathroom and your dress, looking forward to getting out of it but Art shook his head. You froze. His face was one of sheer determination and unwavering confidence, not unlike the look he gave cocky opponents who needed humbling. He closed the gap between you until his chest was inches from yours but blocked by your camera. You took it off, not breaking eye contact, and placed it slowly on the desk behind you.
Just as you thought the only way to break the silence would be with a kiss, Art broke eye contact. ‘Do you have any antiseptic wipes? Anything to clean it?’ You felt your stomach unclench. ‘Yeah.’ Limping slightly, you fetched a packet from the bathroom sink and placed them in Art’s open palm. He gestured to the bed.
‘Sit.’
His order was polite but you felt compelled. Sitting on your own bed as if it was alien, you looked up at him waiting for the next.
‘Foot.’
Art got down on his knees. Your stomach flipped. With careful hands, he held your injured foot and inspected it. You’d never felt so exposed before, the way his eyes engaged with your wound as if it were more fascinating than any match he’d won. There was an unspoken rule for neither of you to speak as he cleaned you. It stung like a bitch but you only let out minor hisses in pain, barely audible to Art but not unnoticeable.
As he took out a plaster, seemingly from thin air, and applied it to your foot he said: ‘Before tonight,’ Ouch. You winced from the pressure he applied. ‘I’d seen you watching me.’ He didn’t look at you, only concentrating on his handiwork and causing you as little pain as possible.
‘Yeah I gathered from all the teasing.’
His voice grew suddenly lower. ‘I’m not talking about tennis matches.’
You were suddenly reminded of a not so distant memory. Ashley had stood you up for lunch, she’d found a better hot date, and you had been in the cafeteria alone. Art had been queuing in front of you, waiting for Patrick and you’d been in awe. What you hadn’t noticed was that he’d sensed your eyes burning holes into the back of his head long before he turned around. He had given you a passing look of recognition and slight amusement before finding his seat next to Patrick.
You imagined alongside that memory were hundreds others. Hundreds of days you’d stared at Art, watched how he span his apples before eating them and the line of his jaw when he drank water in oppressive heat. All the time he had known, you just hadn’t been as subtle as you thought.
‘Oh.’
Art gave you your foot back and sat on the bed beside you. For a moment you couldn’t bare to look at him, incase he disappeared and decided it was funnier to leave you hanging. Your foot was the least of your worries. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d really kissed someone, with feverish need, but you wanted to.
Noticing your inward battle, Art raised his hands almost in defeat. ‘I can leave.’ He meant it, there was no judgement. You turned to him, your eyes meeting his clouded with lust, and recognised that this was a man who needed to be wanted. He wanted to give and receive pleasure, not out of boredom but out of a clawing need for it. If you wanted him to leave then he’d leave but if you wanted him to stay then he’d make the most of it.
Your hand settled atop of his.
‘Don’t.’
Part 2
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comicaurora · 7 months
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If YouTube shuts down in five years or if the channel stops doing well or if you just burn out or whatever, what’s your backup career? I feel like a lot of “content creators” become super specialized into doing content creation stuff
This question is interesting, because you've given voice to one of the anxieties it took me the longest to overcome.
My thesis on life is you can't live in any sort of healthy manner if you're constantly planning for the worst case scenario - what you would do if everything in your life suddenly changed. Like how you can't live comfortably anywhere if you've constantly planning for the next time you'll move out.
For me, that question takes the form "what if youtube suddenly exploded", but everyone has a scenario like that. In fact, everyone has an infinite number of scenarios like that.
What would I do for I living if I got sick or had an accident and could no longer meet the physical demands of my job?
What would I do if I had a breakdown and needed everything to stop?
What's my contingency plan for if my entire company exploded and I got laid off without warning?
What've I got lined up if a global pandemic shut down all in-person jobs?
What's my backup plan if I lost the sense I needed to create the art I specialize in?
What if my mind deteriorated and I could no longer engage with reality at all?
What if technological advancement replaced the need my job currently fills?
What'e my plan for if I lose someone I love and it breaks me?
What will I do if a natural disaster destroys my house?
Where will I live if a meteor hit the earth tomorrow?
The idea that "content creators" overspecialize ignores the fact that most people get very comfortable doing the thing they spend most of their time doing, and very rarely seriously plan for the scenario where their One Thing is ripped away from them and they have to find something else. The phenomenon of "person loses their job after years of work" is famous for being massively disruptive, and that isn't because everyone in the world is dumb or bad at planning ahead - it's because a disruption like that is a disruption, in the same way that an injury will always hurt. I don't think it's a failing for someone to live their life as it currently exists, just like it isn't a personal failing if someone experiences a catastrophic change and has to readjust. You can't solve a problem that doesn't exist yet, and if it does happen, it'll come with information and parameters that you'll need to actually deal with it rather than just worrying about it.
If youtube explodes, maybe I'd join our other youtube friends on another platform as we all worked to solve the same problem together. Maybe I'd be in a financial position where I wouldn't need an immediate fallback plan and could take uncomplicated time off. Maybe I'd pivot 100% to writing. Maybe I'd drop off the grid and live in the woods for a while. Maybe I'd get serious about pursuing voice acting or theater. Maybe a friend would recommend an opening at their normal person job. Since we're only pondering a hypothetical catastrophe, we can't predict any of the other factors that'd be in play that would actually determine how we'd handle it.
Most of us will experience many life-changing turning points, and in turn get to experience many different lives. I'm very much enjoying this one, but I'm not worried about what the next one might look like. Overplanning will spoil the adventure with needless anxiety - I'll just be excited to explore it whenever it comes.
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