#i just really wanna have all my art in one place so fuck it spam time

[luaspersona]

fic teaser | kim taehyung

pairing ↠ himbo!taehyung x reader (f. reader) genre ↠ college!au; holiday!au; smut; one-shot; humor summary ↠ after making some terrible memories together, Taehyung wants nothing more than to never see you again; and he was pretty much succeeding until — after a minor accident — he finds himself having to spend Christmas alone with you in the middle of nowhere. rating ↠ +18 teaser warnings ↠ nothing explicit; profanity; nudity; mentions of sex; mentions of bondage; mentions of puking.

complete work warnings (full warnings on the post) ⇝ alcohol consumption; sexual tension; religious jokes; minor accident; very minor parent issues; second hand embarrassment; pov switch; explicit smut: masturbation, orgasm denial and control, edging, dirty talk, pet names, soft dom!taehyung, switch!reader, fingering, oral (f. and m. receiving), unprotected sex, praise kink, light spanking, a splash of degradation, begging; overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, creampie, rough sex, aftercare.

release date ↠ released. teaser word count ↠ 0.8k estimated reading time ↠ 2 minutes

note ↠ so i had the idea to write a holiday!au for tae’s birthday around three weeks ago and just now finished the outline lol 🤡 i’m still working on it, but i decided to drop a little something so you can have a taste! the teaser happens a couple months before the actual fanfic, so it’s not christmas here yet lol sorry, i promise i’ll plan better the next time (i probably won’t tho). note² ↠ wanna thank @imakeamess for the BEAUTIFUL BANNER, i know i was all over the place but you were able to create the most amazing art for me, so thank you once again🥺 note³ ↠ special thanks to @uarmymoonlight for helping me come up with the story and patiently listening to me rambling about this fic nonstop, i love you! and @vsualitae for helping me find inspiration and letting me spam his dms with this lol note⁴ ↠ also, merry christmas for those who celebrate and happy holidays! hope you all have an amazing year ending and an even better new year🎄

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When Taehyung was eighteen years old, he told a slightly less experienced Jungkook that girls have a secret sweet spot on the back of their knees.

Yeah, pretty shitty, he knows, he knows— but!, in Taehyung's defense, Jungkook was too damn innocent for his own good and he obviously didn't expect that Jungkook would take a whole ass year to google it. How hard is it to differentiate a freaked out face from a fucked out face, really? It was only like, 30% his responsibility. 

Clearly, though, the universe wasn't as understanding, because now Taehyung is pretty sure that he’s cursed.

Whenever he’s feeling like he’s hot shit, life finds ridiculous and absurd ways to humble him — being extra careful to guarantee Jungkook front row seats.

Fair enough. Taehyung has no problem owning his stuff, and he didn’t really believe all this karma shit anyway.

Except when it came to you.

“Shit.” Soojin curses, hands stopping in their search for her keys.

“What's wrong, babe?” Jungkook frowns.

“Can we maybe go to your place? My roommate had some work stuff to prepare and asked me to give her some space this afternoon.”

Taehyung groans “Soojin, we live on the other side of campus and I'm starving.” He punctuates this by lifting the food bags in his hands.

“But she's been super stressed lately, I don't wanna add to that.”

“We won't! We can be quiet, baby.” Jungkook reassures. 

Soojin chews her bottom lip. “You sure?”

“Promise.”

Taehyung nods. “She won't even notice us.”

Soojin sighs. “Fine.”

“Also, it can be a great opportunity for Tae to finally meet her.” Jungkook turns to Taehyung. “She's painfully your type, man.”

“Don’t even think about it! My roomie is not interested in Taehyung’s fuckboy ways, Kookie, she’s a pure soul.” Soojin protests.

“Baby, that’s slutshaming. Not cool.”

“What? I'm not a fuckboy. I'm just a very good boy who likes to give people what they want, nothing wrong with that.”

Soojin rolls her eyes, then finally opens the door.

Barely they step into the apartment, though, the three of them freeze — somewhat distracted by the sight of a blond man standing in the middle of the living room, covered only by a blue underwear and a trail of purple marks on his neck and collarbone.

And damn, what a fine man that is. Taehyung had never seen such pretty pouty lips before and he can't help the sudden wish to add a couple of purples to that soft skin himself. 

“What the hell?” Soojin's question prompts the man to cover his crotch with his hands. Pitty. “Who the fuck are you?”

“So, I found these old ropes in the back of my drawer, but I think they can hold—” you stop talking once you enter the living room, seeing a hell of a lot more people than when you left.

Jungkook snickers, glancing down at the rope still in your hands. “Pure soul my ass.”

When your name drops from Soojin’s mouth, something snaps in Taehyung’s mind. You see, he isn’t dumb by any means, but Taehyung sure sometimes is slow.

To be fair, he’d spent so much time trying to forget everything about you and the day you met that it’s only natural that he would take some time to recognize your face from his days I wish I hadn’t woken up archive.

But the way your fingers tighten around the knots before you hide them behind your back? Shit, how can he forget the way those fingers felt entangled in his hair that night? The way you made him groan against your neck whenever you pulled a bit too strong?

And your thighs? Fuck, they are so much prettier than he fantasized they’d be, barely covered by the oversized shirt you’re wearing. Taehyung almost has to stifle a groan because holy fuck how he wishes he could’ve seem them — felt them under his palms that night.

“Is he your work thing?” Soojin sarcastically points to the man’s general direction.

“Yeah, sorry about that, Soo, I just wanted to— Taehyung?!”

He grimaces, eyes immediately darting away from your form as he clears his throat, letting out a silent “hey.”

“You know each other?” Soojin frowns.

“We uhm… we met at—” you stutter “we met once. At a party.”

Soojin is silent for a moment, before her jaw drops “Wait— is Taehyung the puke guy?!”

The blue underwear man looks at you immediately. “Did you puke on him?”

“No! No, of course not, Jimin, it was him who— I mean, uh” so this is what humiliation tastes like? “Nevermind.”

The sudden sound of Jungkook’s laugh erupts beside Taehyung, and the boy takes his hand to his stomach as he leans forward. Taehyung is sure he’s never seen Jungkook so happy.

It takes around a minute for Jungkook’s laugh to turn into light giggling as he tries to catch his breath.

“She’s the girl you puked on? No fucking way, man.”

Well. Yeah. Karma and shit.

READ THE COMPLETE WORK HERE

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[blossomwritesthings]

𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 | 𝐬𝐨 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞

⬷ 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞 ┊ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ┊ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

pairing: minho x felix (minlix)

genre: dancer!minho/artist!felix. brothers best friend troupe. college au. age gap (abt 4 years). minho pov. extremely dark themes throughout, including smut - MDNI, 18+ only.

word count: 4.7k

the playlist 🗡️

a/n: half of this chapter was fluffy and cute, and the other half was incredibly angsty lmao. sorry about that guys, but I just can't seem to HELP ITTT when it comes to minlix!! 😩😭 I just finished writing chapter 10 for this fic... idk how long its gonna be, but I still have a few more ideas for chapters I wanna do, so I'm aiming for around 15 total - but we'll see if that changes depending on how I feel and shit 😜 hope you guys are enjoying, and thanks for all the love and support~ 🤍

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). do not copy, spin-off, or write inspired work based off of this fanfic without full permission to do so. ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

̶﹒⊹﹒ɪ sᴇᴇ ᴀ sᴀᴅ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ sɪɴɴᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪʀʀᴏʀ ！،، 🌌  𖥻 𓂃 ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ʜᴀʀᴅ, ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍʏ ʟɪᴠᴇʀ╰╮ 🌑

As it turns out, by the grace of all things and every God high up in the sky, Minho and Hyunjin ended up passing their exam with final colors. Their professor loved the contemporary part of their dance, and it was well-received across the entire class.

  With one of the biggest exams for the semester done and over with, Minho found that he had more time to himself for once. He only worked his part time gig at the arts studio three times a week, so when he wasn’t busy helping with the teaching, he was back at home in his dorm, studying up the material he had missed for the past few weeks because of that stupid exam.

  “You’ve been awfully focused these past few days, I’m surprised…” Chris said, breaking Minho out of his daze of thought. He was curled up on their living room couch, furiously typing away at his laptop’s keyboard. 

  Looking up from his screen, he stared at Chris who was busy devouring a bowl of rice with spam he had just made for himself. He had just got back from the campus gym, so he was subsequently drenched in sweat. 

  “Yeah, I’ve got a lot to catch up on since one of our biggest technical exams is finally done.” Minho said, taking a glance at his phone and seeing the few texts he had missed while he was focused on studying. 

  Looking at the time, he read that it was just past eight in the evening. 

  The texts were all from Felix.

  Minho’s heart skipped incremental beats as he unlocked his phone and scrolled through the text thread. 

  Today 

8:13pm

  I know youre probably busy with work or homework… But I wish we could hangout sometime. 

  Sorry if that sounds really fucking weird, its just— this week’s been a lot. 

  Instantly, Minho felt his fingers typing out a response. 

  Chris is leaving soon to go to work. If you want, you can come over to our place. 

  In the back of his mind, Minho could sense the urgency of Felix’s tone. A tiny voice inside of him whispered warnings— that inviting him over wasn’t a good idea and he should stay out of Felix’s way. Yet Felix texted him back in an instant. 

  I’ll be over in an hr. I’ll bring my homework and we can study together :) 

  Just like that, Minho was turning to Chris and watching him place his bowl into the dishwasher. “Are you still going to the studio with Changbin to work?” He asked, trying to seem nonchalant. Like he hadn’t just invited his best friend’s little bother over when he knew Chris wouldn’t be home. 

  But there was no crime in that. There was nothing in the friend code or university code that said you couldn’t hang out with your friend’s little brother. 

  “Mhm— I just gotta take a quick shower then we’re meeting up for a couple drinks before working,” Chris said, walking out of the kitchen and towards his bathroom. He tore off his shirt, displaying sculpted abs and chiseled arms. “Probably won’t be home til early tomorrow morning. You know how much Changbin loves to change tracks up at the last fucking minute.”

  Minho let out a tiny chuckle at that. Changbin could be incredibly decisive at times, and it drove Chris crazy. But his best friend also realized that Changbin was a genius, and Chris had never regretted a song they had changed based on Changbin’s feelings. “Well just text me when you’re heading back, yeah? So I can make us breakfast or some shit…” Minho wailed across the dorm as Chris closed the door to the bathroom. 

  He heard a faint “will do” just as the shower turned on. And with that, Minho leaned back into the cushions of the sofa, taking in a deep breath. His legs shook a little bit, and his heart was still thrumming in his throat. Even still, he made to focus on his computer screen and homework instead of thinking about the night ahead. 

  The hour passed by in a quick flutter of movement on Chris’ end of slow heartbeats on Minho’s end. Within thirty minutes, Chris was showered and out the door, waving Minho a silent goodbye since he had his headphones on. Immediately, Minho was able to relax into his spot. 

  But not for long, because soon after there came a stark knock on the door. 

  Minho didn’t even register he was getting up from the sofa and that his legs were moving until his arm was reaching out and opening the door. 

  And just like that, there Lee Felix was. 

  Standing in the limelight of the dorm behind Minho’s back, he smiled up at Minho with shining teeth and pretty pink lips. 

  Felix was dressed head-to-toe in pink. He was wearing an oversized baby pink and white knitted checker sweater, with dark pink shorts to match and a fushica puffer coat to match. 

  “Hi.” Is all Felix said, smile glinting up at Minho, blonde tresses a little wind-swept from the walk over to his dorm. 

  Leaning against the doorframe, he widened it a bit to open up a gap. “Come on inside, it’s drafty out here in the hallway.” Minho ushered him forward, and as Felix slipped through the threshold, Minho caught whiff of his sweet scent - of strawberries and cream and everything good in the world. 

  Felix gently placed a bag down on the counter, taking out a bag of chips and some candy. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought snacks. I can never study on an empty stomach.” 

  Minho just leaned against the fridge in the kitchen, watching as Felix’s delicate fingers opened up the bag of peach rings. “You don’t have to apologize about bringing food over, Lix. I get it, trust me.” Minho’s focus landed on Felix’s legs, the skin there smooth and milky. His booty-shorts were so fucking short, Minho could make out about half of his pert asscheeks. Minho grabbed ahold of Felix’s jacket as he began to take it off, hanging it up in the nearby closet. “Aren’t you… cold?” He asked, motioning with his eyes up and down the length of Felix. 

  The younger man simply chuckled lightly, grabbing his tote bag from off the kitchen counter and trailing over to the living room. “Nah, I get really hot in the library so I don’t let to dress in thick layers.” 

  “That’s where you were when you texted me?”

  Shrugging slowly, Felix perched himself in one of the corners of the couch, slipping out his drawing pad. “Yeah, I— I couldn’t really focus there today. Thought maybe a change of scenery would give me some inspo.” 

  Minho took a playful bow of courtesy, slinking back to his own spot on the other end of the couch. “Glad our dorm could be of service to your studying then.” He gave Felix an easy smile, positioning his laptop back on top of him. 

  It was silent for a few minutes, as they focused on their own work. Minho always liked to play music when he worked, and he mostly liked jazz. So the soft jazz coming from his laptop played in the background in a relaxing kind of way. 

  “How are you… otherwise?” Minho started, not taking his attention away from his screen and he continued the research he needed to get done for one of his midterm papers. “Over text you said this week’s been hard.” 

  Felix was quiet for a few moments, seeming to gather his thoughts. In the background, Minho could hear the distinct sound of a pencil scribbling against paper. “Yeah, uh— just bullshit with my friends, that’s all. Drama like that really drains me, ya know?” 

  “You wanna talk about it?” Minho asked, scrolling through the internet to find anything that was relevant to his research. 

  “Not really… I don’t wanna be a bother.” 

  That made Minho stop in his tracks. 

  His eyes slinking away from his computer screen, he gave Felix a knowing look. “You’re never a bother, Lixie. And talking about your problems can help relieve some of the tension sometimes.” 

  Felix ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and Minho swallowed around the lump he felt in his throat at the sight of his earring-covered lobes glinting in the lamplight of the living room. “I know— I just… I wish I had friends who weren’t so wishy-washy all the fucking time. It’s exhausting sometimes.”

  “Hmm, that makes sense…” Minho started, resting his head against the back of the plush sofa. “But, from the looks of everyone at the party that night, it seems like your friends have— a lot on their plates to begin with.” By a lot, Minho meant substance abuse. But there was no way in hell he was going to grill into Felix about his choice of friends just then. Not when he could sense Felix really needed him in that moment. 

  After that, Felix grew quiet again. Minho took a peek over to his corner of the sofa and noticed his hand moving across the canvas paper, drawing an outline of a human shape. His nimble fingers moved so fast, it felt like Minho blinked and he was already done shading the outline. In that moment, he realized just how talented Felix was. 

  “What are you working on?” Minho finally asked, pressing his spine into the couch to get a better look. His focus was entirely too much focused on Felix in that moment, but he couldn’t help it. 

  Felix turned his sketchbook towards him. “It has to be a human portrait centered around romantic realism. I just can’t seem to fucking find inspiration.” 

  Making a funny pose on the sofa, Minho wiggles his eyebrows at Felix. “What? And I’m not your muse?” 

  “God, you’re so fucking stupid— just… shut up.” Felix laughed, chucking a nearby pillow at Minho’s face. But Minho’s reflexes were incredibly fast from dancing all the time, so he caught it mid air and threw it back at Felix’s stomach. He let out a squeak of surprise, not expecting Minho to move so quickly. “You are a menace.”

  “Yeah but you love it…” 

  Minho didn’t know why he said what he said. The words just… seemed to slip out of his mouth, before he was even registering what he was saying. 

  Felix just stared at him for a few moments after that, before he stood up from the sofa abruptly. “Imma grab some snacks, I’ll be right back.” 

  He was fleeing the scene. Leaving Minho’s side because he had made the situation uncomfortable. He had fucked up, like always. So he decided to focus back on his research. Felix returned soon after, a bag of chips and two drinks in hand. 

  “Is that… soju?” Minho raised an eyebrow Felix’s way, his heart skipping a little bit at the thought of Felix drinking alcohol. That definitely wasn’t a good mix for either of them. Or for Minho’s heart. 

  Shrugging nojcholantalty — like drinking alcohol while trying to study isn’t something out of the ordinary for him — Felix pushed one of the cans towards Felix across the living room’s coffee table. “Sometimes liquor helps me focus better— gives me inspiration, in a weird way.”

  Just then, Felix made to roll his sweater’s sleeves up. Minho tried not to be nosy, or pushy. But he couldn’t help his eyes trailing after Felix’s arms. They were bandaged up or raw anymore. Instead, the fresh scars were completely healed and fading into the myriad of other ones. 

  He knew it wasn’t his place to pry or to even feel concerned. They had barely spoken in over five years, and him blowing up at the party that night was one of the causes for Felix to start again. But even still, he felt a huge weight lift off of his shoulders at the sight of Felix healing again. By the looks of it, it seemed like he had been clean for a while. And Minho hated himself so much for the fact that he was a part of ruining that journey. 

  “I’m fine, Min. Don’t worry.” 

  Felix’s voice cascaded around Minho’s ears, soft and quiet. Forcing him out of his daze of thought that he had gotten lost in by staring at Felix’s arms. Minho could feel the expression on his face melt just a little bit, as he watched Felix eat a couple of salty shrimp chips and take a long swig of his grape-flavored soju. 

  “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He found himself saying, reaching across the sofa and giving Felix’s bare knee a light squeeze. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, even if it’s just by a tiny bit.” 

  Motioning with a tilt of his head, Felix gave Minho an easy smile. “Now quit distracting me, because we both have work to do.” 

  After that, the entire dorm fell into a serene kind of quiet. The hours passed by, the clock ticking gradually with each assignment that Minho got done. He was surprised to find how focused he was, with half a bottle of peach-flavored soju in his system and an increment amount of potato chips filling his belly. 

  Even still, the quiet presence of another person right beside him helped to comfort him into an ease of focus. Felix had turned on a relaxing ambiance on the tv, so along with Minho’s jazz playlist still running, the sound of crickets and wind chimes played in the background. 

  Felix was altogether very quiet, completely honed in on his craft. And he was right— the alcohol did seem to give him some form of inspiration. He sat cross-legged next to Minho, and the older man distinctly noticed, in the back of his mind, how with each hour that passed, Felix grew a little closer to him on the couch. 

  By the time midnight rolled around, they had been studying for a good four hours. Minho’s brain felt like mush from reading and writing so much, so he decided to give it a break for the night. Turning to Felix’s place beside him, he realized that the younger one was gone from his spot. 

  He was so focused on his computer, he hadn’t noticed him get up from the sofa and trail over to the bathroom. Felix notebook was laid out on the coffee table, and Minho’s temptation got the better of him. 

  Honestly, he couldn’t help it. 

  Minho’s hands were holding onto it’s thick binding before he even thought better of it, fingers gently flipping through the pages. There was all kinds of compositions— of landscapes, outfit ideas, food. But he stopped his flipping when he got to a… certain page. 

  The character that Felix had drew was smudged at the edges, the lines indiscreet and fluid with the movement of the person. By the looks of the broad shoulders and muscular legs, Minho assumed it was a man. The coloring of the piece was in shades of dark charcoal and pencil-grey. Altogether, it was a beautiful drawing. It looked like the man was in the middle of an intense dance segment, arms spread out and legs twisting as he rolled over into his next routine. 

  In the corner of the piece, Minho could make out a small, black bird. 

  It was a… 

  Raven. 

  Upon realization of what the smudged shape in the corner of the page was, Minho could feel his heart drop into the pit of his stomach. 

  Because… 

  The raven had always been his favorite bird. 

  He remembers the deep talks him and Felix used to have in their childhood, about the raven and other birds like it. About how relatable they were and how misunderstood they were. 

  Just like that, the feeling of all the puzzles piecing clicking together throbbed inside Minho’s head. 

  The drawing was… based on him. 

  Fuck, it was him. 

  The character, with it’s greyed lines and romantic fluidity was Minho.

  He couldn’t stop staring at the page, his eyes drawn on the raven that was perked in the corner, looking down on the dancing figure. 

  And before he could even make his mind up on what the drawing was actually about, the sketchbook was getting ripped out of his hands abruptly. 

  Minho’s head shot up, eyes wide as he met Felix’s stormy gaze. 

  “I told you I don’t like people looking at my personal work.”

  “But you failed to mention how I am drawn in your personal work.” Minho pushed back, watching as the fury starting brewing on Felix’s face. It darkened his eyes and caused his lips to flatten out into a straight line. 

  Felix walked over to his side of the couch, shoving his supplies and sketchbook into his canvas bag. But his movements were a little bit halted, his cheeks a little pink. The bastard was drunk already, with just one bottle of soju.

  “What do you know about my artwork? You have no idea who my muse is—” Felix said under his breath in that deep voice of his that he only got when he was upset. Then he was pulling away from the sofa and giving Minho a sardonic kind of grin. “Thanks for the invite. It’s been… enlightening.” 

  Minho could feel his heart breaking a little bit in his chest. 

  Why had he been so stupid? 

  Fuck— why had he looked at that stupid sketchbook, when on the first day of their meeting Felix had explicitly told him he didn’t like people looking at his art? 

  But he couldn’t seem to help it in that quiet moment— the book had called out to him, prompting him to grab ahold of it even against his better judgement. And then he found the drawing of him and he couldn’t stop—

  He reached out to Felix just as he was passing his side of the couch. And before he could think any better, Minho was grabbing ahold of Felix’s wrist and stopping him from moving with a gentle tug. “Lix, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to pry, I had no right to,” he started, his touch around Felix’s wrist forcing the younger man to turn and look down at him. He was still frowning, but the furrow in his brow was gone and Minho could already feel his resolve melting slowly. “And I don’t mind. Being your muse, I mean. I find it— flattering.”

  “Who said anything about you being it?” Felix asked, but the way that the words trembled on his lips a little bit, Minho could gauge that he had hit the nail on the head.

  Then, Minho’s other hand was persuading Felix to drop his tote bag on the floor. That prompted Felix to stare down at him with wide eyes. Slowly, Minho brought Felix close to him. He was still sitting down on the couch, but his laptop was long gone from his sight and closed. 

  “Please, stay. I like having you here,” Minho said in a quiet whisper, both his hands squeezing Felix’s a little bit. Then their fingers were slipping between each other’s easily, and Minho caressed the soft flesh of his palms. “Besides, you’re too tipsy to make it home tonight. It’s too risky.”

  “You don’t actually want me here tonight, Minho. You just don’t want something happening to me when I leave here—” 

  “Don’t say that. You have no idea what I want.” Minho’s words interrupted Felix’s tipsy, pity-induced speech.  

  Brushing his fingers against Minho’s, Felix stared down at him. His gaze had shifted a tiny bit, his cheeks coloring a brighter shade of pink. “Oh yeah? And what’s that… Minho?” Minho’s name curled and danced off of Felix’s tongue like the sweet whisperings of a mysterious faerie. 

  Coming a little closer to his space on the couch, Felix squeezed Minho’s hands. And with one look at him, one look at his messy blonde tresses and the way his pink oversized sweater swallowed up his entire frame, the way his hot pink booty shorts had ridden up on his thighs even more throughout the night…

  Minho already knew the answer to Felix’s question. 

  He had known since day one. 

  He had just been too afraid to face it. 

  To come to terms with all of his feelings, thoughts, and wants. 

  But for once, he was tired of running. 

  He was tired of being the first one to leave. To pull away. To end things. 

  So in that moment, Minho did the only thing his half-soju-addled brain could process. 

  “You're what I want. What I've always fucking wanted,” Minho whispered finally, his words halting everything else in the dorm around them. 

 The energy between them shifted, and for a moment, Felix was still staring down at him with red cheeks. Still holding his hand and studying Minho's face and the older man stared up at him from his seat on the couch. 

  Then, all of the life was draining from Felix's face. Minho watched it happen right in front of him, as Felix yanked away from his grasp altogether and straightened himself again. 

  "You're more ridiculous than my high friends, Minho." Is all he said, before he was taking ahold of his tote bag again and grabbed his empty soju bottle. "But I'm not even surprised, because you've always been like this." 

  Frowning Felix's way, Minho watched as he neared the kitchen and tossed the bottle into the recycling bin. "Been like what? What the fuck are you talking about Felix-" His voice was short, matching Felix's clipped one. 

  Turning around, Felix leaned against the kitchen counter and leveled Minho with a dark glare. "Don't fucking pretend like you didn't just tell me last week that you wanted to be only friends," waving a finger in the air and shaking his head in disbelief, Felix's tone grew louder in his anger. "Don't fucking play with me like that Minho, I won't take that bullshit from anyone... but especially not from you!" 

  Minho was silent for a second, watching as the rage flooded Felix's entire system as he slipped on his shoes to leave. Minho was standing up from the couch before he even registered his own movement, and was speaking before he even understood what he was truly saying. 

  "Why? Because you're constantly led on with your stupid one night stands?" 

  Throwing his hands up into the air in a form of defeat, Felix turned to him and rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Oh God- here comes the slut shaming. Everyone act surprised, the campus' resident bookworm is slut shaming again!!" 

  Now Minho's voice was growing louder, matching Felix' energy. But yet, he was still moving closer to him. And now that the younger male was shoving his arms through his jacket, Minho was already near the kitchen counter. "I didn't call you that, Felix. I'm just saying- don't act like it doesn't affect you when you and I both know that it does." 

  Pointing a finger at Minho, Felix shook it in a venous kind of way. Eyes narrowing into slits, he threw daggers Minho's way as the words slipped from his mouth in an icy tone. "You're just jealous because everyone else gets to fuck me but you don't." 

  "Don't put words in my mouth when you have no idea what you're talking about." 

  "But it's true, right?? It's why you stormed out of the party that night like a little baby throwing a tantrum. It why you got mad at me at the elevator and it's why you avoided me after the fact." 

  Minho could feel his heart race against his ribcage then, the fury building up inside of him. It coated his throat in a dry feeling, lighting up his veins and making his fists clench at his sides. "Don't act like you're the innocent one here when you're slutty ass was doing shit to make me jealous in the first place." 

  Felix threw another glare his way, his one a lot darker than the last and his eyes dancing with a murky tirade of emotions. However, at that moment, all Minho could pick out was blind fury and wrath. Much like how he assumed he looked. 

  Leaning his back against the front entryway's coat closet, Felix stared up at Minho with a dark stare. His gaze was drawing the older man in, until they were but a few steps away from each other in the small space there.

  "Yeah and it worked, didn't it? You liked it." Felix started a sly kind of smirk spreading across his mouth. The kind that wasn't full of playfulness, but instead poison. "You're so fucking predictable, it's comical sometimes-" 

  "Just shut up already." Minho blurted out, running a frustrated hand through his hair as he stared Felix down. And against his better judgement, against all things he knew were right - he couldn't help but think about how pretty and perfect Felix looked just then... backed up against a wall, into a corner, peering up at him with a swarthy gaze and a firm line in his lips. 

  Fuck, he looked really hot. 

  "You can't tell me what to do." The way the words slipped from Felix's lips came out in a bratty kind of tone. "You're not the boss of me. I'm an adult now, I can do and say whatever the hell I want." 

  "If you don't shut up I'll literally-" 

  "Make me." Felix cut Minho off, raising a dark eyebrow his way. 

  "What?" Minho asked incredulously, now only a hands-reach away from Felix who was still pressed up against the closet's door. Still holding his bag in one hand and dressed in his coat. 

  "I said, make me. If you want me to shut up so badly then-"

  Felix's bratty tone, and the way he was glaring up at Minho with his arms folded, was the last straw to break the camel's back. 

  Pointing a finger towards the door, Minho tilted his head towards it. "Get the fuck out. Right now." 

  His words seemed to startle Felix out of his stupor of anger, his focus breaking and his eyes melting a little bit. But then the frown was returning and he was once again glaring at him. "And what are you gonna do, force me?"

  "No, I'll just tell Chris." 

  Felix scoffed incredulously which was quickly followed by a dry, mirthless laugh. "You act like us hanging out in a grave sin to humanity." 

  "To Chris, it would be." 

  "You don't even know him like that- you have no idea what you're talking about." 

  With that, Minho strode over to the door, unlocking the deadbolt and grabbing ahold of the handle. "And yet... you guys haven't had a sit-down conversation in over four years. Funny, but I think I know him a little better these days than you, Lixie." Minho drawled on in a low voice it was just barely above a whisper. He was taunting the younger man with the endearing nickname, saying it with as little emotion as he could muster.

  "You being seen with me isn't a fucking crime." Felix seethed, and Minho watched as his knuckles turned white from holding onto his bag a little too hard. And yet, he neared the door. Walked into Minho's space and stepped through the threshold as he opened it. 

  Then Felix was completely out of the dorm, peering up at Minho with dark, slitted eyes and thinly-pressed lips. Leaning against the doorframe, Minho looked Felix up and down with a slow gaze. 

  "Try to tell that society when they find out an adult fucked a child." 

  "And then society will lose their minds when they find out the 'adult' was only eighteen and the child who fucking wanted it was a teenager." 

  Running a frustrated hand through his hair, Minho caught Felix's eyes. Their gazes held there for a few seconds, in the delicate limbo they were perched on - not quite saying what they meant, but instead speaking in twisting words and lies. 

  Grabbing ahold of the doorknob again, Minho began closing it. Shutting Felix out, once again. "A child never wants that kinda shit, Felix." He said, eyes flicking down to the bag on his shoulder. "Good luck with your project." 

  And then Minho was slamming the door in Felix's face, steadily locking it. 

  Then, he was pressing his back against the wood of the frame, 

  Sinking down, down, down, 

  Until he was sitting on the chilled tiled floor, 

  Head in his hands, dark locks yanked between his fingers,

  Warm tears cascading down his chilled skin. 

  He had always been so, so fucking stupid. 

  Since the very beginning.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

🖤 taglist: want to be added onto my taglist? well then, comment below on this post/reblog it, and indicate your interest in my taglist and i'll add you... or, you can send me a msg and request to be added!! to be removed from the taglist, please send me a msg and i will promptly take you off of the list.

🖤 tags: @sleepyleeji :: @if-spearb :: @hyunes4ngel :: @drhsthl :: @seosalad :: @toomuchtellyneck :: @endzii23 :: @smally97 :: @ana-marais98 :: @sherryblossom :: @priincehoseok :: @biribarabiribbaem :: @/leyknxw :: @linovely :: @lolqxv :: @linonyang :: @morningstardada :: @taeriffic :: @day6andetcetera :: @hyuka-luvbot :: @linohumina :: @urmomma0324 :: @poisonivy2 :: @nappynapnaps :: @/annsunakai :: @bellamuerte1987 :: @julciaqwerty :: @abbiestearsricochet :: @leeknowsramen :: @maeleelee :: @cb97breathing :: @/wealwayskeepfighting :: @armystay89 :: @drhsthl :: @skzcollision :: @noellllslut :: @skz-streamer :: @hello-2-u-from-me :: @h0p3l3ssromantic :: @bangchanbighandsome :: @imastraykidsfan :: @feellikecinderella :: @hyundumpling :: @/weirdkoaladuck ::@hyunnieshannie :: @astralis-is-typing :: @ivyisnotokay

a red tag means that there was an error in tagging you. please check your settings for further information.

[horoscope-misreader96]

New new intro post Updated 21/9/24

✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆

✰Hello there! I'm horoscope-misreader96 (Formally known as the-stars-ar3-with-us), your local train wreck and the reason they put instructions on shampoo!

✰You can call me Kiki! Kiki isn't my real name it's just a nickname, I'll probably share my real name when I'm older.

✰Asks are back on now, so come in & say hi if you wanna. But please don't ask for money

✰Please don't get me involved in in shit goin on in the world, this is my little place to get away from shit

✰Keep in mind I'm a minor

✰Feel free to spam like my blog or send asks I'll try my best to answer your ask in a timely manner

✰This is my main blog, I have a spam side blog called @kikis-spam-reblog-blog

✰The fandoms I'm in include:

✧The Legend of Zelda

✧Star wars The clone wars, bad batch and republic commando

✧Lu

✧Spider-man (I've watched all of the live action ones as of the 14th!!!)

✧Percy jackson

✧Marvel

✰On occasion I'll post art but keep in mind I'm a beginner and a very slow artist

✰No queue just, fuck it we ball

✰ Be sure to follow @noob-master69 especially if you like marvel/if you wanna to see posts bout the two men who fucked in a Honda odyssey

✰Thank you for reading I might add more as time goes on it depends if I can think of things to write.

The tags I use are under the cut

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The tags I use:

✰#Kiki answers- This tag will be used for asks

✰#Kikitalks- Again this will be used for asks and when I make a post where I'm talking

✰#Kikisinawe- I don't really use this tag anymore but when I do/did I use it for thing I think are really cool

✰#Kikireblogs- This one explains itself

✰#Kikidraws or #Kiki draws- This is my art tag

✰#Kiki should be in bed- I'm gonna use this one for posts I make or reblog after 10pm

✰#Kikigetscrafty- This is my craft tag so anything that's not a drawing

✰#kiki rants- rant tag

✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆✧☆

[radellama]

Tagged by @sandushengshou thank youuuu!

~~

1. why did you choose your url?

It's an evolution of a suggestion @woogly-boogly made actually. We were probably 14~ish and I was saying I didn't really have any ideas for a name for my art account I was going to make, and he suggested adellama as a pun on my name and cause I like llamas. Made it radellama cause my nickname is Rads and it sounds cooler lolll

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

Yeas, I used to hoard a few urls for chrono related names but now I don't have any of them cause it got my account sniped for a time 😑

@chrono-the-babe - the chrono blog. It's bigger than my main lmao I love it. I've put effort into making it the best archive of fan shit for chrono that I can, I'm not always up to date with it but I have been going for years and I'm not stopping now

@radellama-art - my art archive, just a nicer place to look through all my art in one place cause sometimes I post on other blogs, but everything rbed to there is mine

@our-ends-will-shine-like-stars - made a blog for this au fic cause it's massive, and I have so much planning and art and stuff for it and don't wanna spam my ct blog too much, so here it goes!

@abe-and-orc - Abe and Orc. I'll post on there properly when I actually have more stuff to show and I start making the comic..... But they're my OCs, gotta nab the url here while I can haha

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

God idk. a little over a decade by this point probably

4. do you have a queue tag?

Used to but I don't really use the queue function anymore. I'm just rbing LMAO

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

I liked seeing the text posts on Pinterest, and when I got here it was so cool to see Loz fanart and stuff for the music I liked at the time!! It was fun making friends and sending each other fan mail on here lollll

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

THEY'RE MY GAY BOYS!! It's Magus (light blue hair, from chrono trigger) and Harland (dark blue hair, my OC I made specifically to be gay with him lmao) I like them!!!!!!

7. why did you choose your header?

It's a funny meme I redrew to be magland 😏😏

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

This one

9. how many mutuals do you have?

Don't count them, and there's no tracker lol

10. how many followers do you have?

149

11. how many people do you follow?

686

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Yeah probably, idk

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

I usually check in once a day, maybe twice if I have time lol. Otherwise if I'm busy or something I just go on when waiting for public transport or during a lunch break type moment, or just wait until I go to bed and scroll for a bit. Sometimes I just take breaks and don't go on for most the day or skip a day or two just cause I'm not feeling it, or I'm too busy and don't really have the time. It's whatever

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Yeah a few very brief responses but it's not a big deal lol, I try not to get wrapped up in that stuff too much. I'm pretty liberal with blocking if I'm not vibing

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

Fuck off

16. do you like tag games?

Yeas

17. do you like ask games?

Yeas

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Thog

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

No. The most would probably be infatuation cause they're cool

20. tags

@woogly-boogly @chemicalbrew @just-wublrful @lobotomy-maybe-bestie @controlvariable @future-dregs @fanimefreak @kanonavi @darksideofthemamon @aliciaevers and anyone else who would like to. No pressure as always!

[vanhelsingapologist]

I am more than a little obsessed with how you draw Victor Vallakovich, I cannot lie, and also pardon finding your blog and then spamming notifications a lil bit, but dang I love your art and the designs for CoS characters you’ve done are just *chef kiss.*

Our DM did Victor from a completely different angle (like very different) from RAW, so I’m always curious about the Victors done a little closer to original, and the design you gave him, oh wow, I love him, I lowkey wanna adopt him a little bit not going to lie. But yeah I just needed to state as such and ramble! How’s his tenure as burgomeister (apparently?) going? 👀

This is so kind! Thank you! Spam all you like, it has no negative effect on me. Also, I love talking character analysis from our games, so if you wanted, I’d be more than happy to provide you with how we interpreted him, if you’re cool reading it!

Spoilers, as always, for our campaign.

Design

My DM has our Victor in his early 20’s. They wanted to play Victor as someone who was a victim of his dad’s abuse, and they thought that the trope of shutting one’s child away in their home for ‘protection’ would hit our party harder if he was a young adult. It became more controlling. So when designing him, it was important that he maintained a gaunt, haunted look. Almost Tim Burton-y. I combined Victorian, Traditional Slavic, and modern gothic influences to really hit Victor’s style. If you like the chains on his belt but want a younger look at him, @tantaliax has an INCREDIBLE design that utilizes a lot of these influences too.

As for the hair, our Vallakoviches canonically have vitiligo, passed down through Vargas. If I ever drew Victor from the back, his neck would have some. I think he also has some local vitiligo on his chest. I wanted Victor to have a couple streaks to set him apart from Vargas, but not too much

As for his tenure as Burgomaster…

Now that Vargas is good and dead, Victor’s a bit distracted by the power, enforcing odd laws and taking long, brooding walks in the dark that are probably illegal to interrupt him on, but he really has no idea what he’s doing. He sees it as a temporary distraction before he fucks off and leaves Barovia forever.

He likes to do the fun stuff. The being mean, the soirées, the gothifying his ancestral home, the BANNING OF THE FESTIVALS. But he hates the administration, which is funny because he’s actually pretty good at it. And he won’t give speeches. No speeches.

He repurposed the reformation center into a school and when people were like “weren’t people tortured there?” Victor was like “UGH I would’ve loved to learn in a place where people were tortured.” No one really knows what to do with that, but Victor spearheading the Barovian public education platform was whiplash inducing.

For the most part? He lets Emilia do most of it. She’s like, his shadow government while he acts as the face. He happily miserably sits in his attic and experiments or paints when we aren’t plucking him up and companion-izing him.

The main problem? Lady Wachter. He has her under house arrest for riot reasons, but “his” hesitance to decisively end anything has let her cult run amok. People in Vallaki are starting to say he’s too young, weak, and scared to do anything, which is once again garnering support to her.

I think Strahd’s also going to start tempting him with more power or the ability to leave to get him off the party’s side. Vallaki is super Pro-Party right now, and if Wachter’s second bid falls flat, I think Strahd will get that foothold in.

[torddedd]

Edd 🥩 22 🥩 he/him

Hello! This is a sideblog I made for Eddsworld rbs and stuff :] I don't wanna spam my main with it and I kinda want this for archival purposes too so!

General DNI, yk no TERFs, proship, anti BLM, zionists, transmeds, etc etc

Eddsworld has been one of my biggest special interests since like 2014 but I went quite a few years without being very into it, but recently I've been fixating on it like I never stopped :3 It will always have a special place in my heart 💚 Seriously tho between the ages of 12 and 15 there was but one hamster running on the hamster wheel that is my brain. And it was Eddsworld Hampster. And he's back. LOL no but my activity here will fluctuate depending on how fixated I am on EW but still!

My main is @loverdude, I follow from there! I post my art there but I rb it here too, under the tag #my art! The way I drew each of them can be kind of inconsistent btw... I like to have fun w different interpretations!

Btw my old account is @loverdudearchive (only reason I remade is bc my account literally fucking broke) if u wanna see my old stuff lol maybe you'll recognize it/me! I have stuff that goes back to 2016 in there... #eddsworld fanart :] (pls note again I was like 13-15 at the time LOL)

I like most the side characters in EW too but I'm mostly only interested in the main 4 really due to the autism so thats mostly what I'll be reblogging!

I like basically all the eras of EW in one way or another lol idk if I can pick a fav really... As for favorite Eddisodes umm... Gimme a bit and I'll edit this later LOL

I either like or am neutral to any ship(s) involving the main 4, but as u can probably tell I'm especially partial to tordedd ^_^ they will always be special 2 me... I also really like tomedd and tomatt :3 But like I said I'm fine enough with all of them and will probably reblog any ship between the 4 of them if I like the art! It's all tagged tho :)

Sometimes I'll reblog old rbs from my old account, so there will be old fanart from time to time- however if I rb old art of urs and u don't want me to just lmk! Cuz I totes understand!

Umm I think that's it! Feel free to send asks or messages or w/e! 💕

[morningstarships]

Hi!

I’m going on a trip next week, and I wanna have funds to enjoy my time there and maybe get some souvenirs, so commissions are open again!!!!

Headshots - $10+

Half-Bodies - $20+

Full Bodies - $30 +

PNGs for Streaming: $40+, depending on complexity of design! This includes an idle and talking sprite, but I can make more expressions for an extra $10 for each one! :3

Custom Designs: $50+, depending on complexity. [I am begging you, PLEASE GIVE ME CLEAR REFS OR VIBES. Even a moodboard to gauge aesthetics would be good!]

For each extra character, it's $5.

For backgrounds, it's $10+, since I'm still getting used to drawing them. Starts at $10, but if it's more detailed, it'll be more!!

Places you can contact me:

Here!

Discord - cryptidbugz#0609

FA - cryptidbugz

Twitter - @cryptidbugs

Telegram - cryptidbugz

Under the cut will be TOS!!

TOS AND RULES

> I reserve the right to deny any commission. I will always give a reason why, and can help find artists who can do it!

> I cannot resell or use your commission for any monetary gain after it's finished, unless requested.

> I will be posting any and all commissions to my social media. You can ask for a nickname/alias, or your actual username.

> I cannot accept commissions from minors. They shouldn't even be looking at my art.

> I need references! Please don't forget to give me those!

> All of my work, including any sketches, will have my watermark on it!

> You have the right to use the piece for personal use, however. You cannot alter it in any way. No removing the watermark, no tracing, no recolors or altering the image.

> THIS IS A BIG ONE!!! DO NOT MAKE MY ART INTO FUCKING NFTS OR PUT IT INTO AI BECAUSE IF YOU DO, I WILL BLACKLIST YOU!! :))))

> I have really bad mental health issues, so sometimes I can't work on commissions, but I will always let you know when I start your commission. Just please don't spam me for updates.

I will not draw triggering topics!!! If you’re worried that your commission is one of those, just ask!

I also will not draw feral or mecha/armor.

I can draw humans, furries, gore, NSFW, some fetish art, and fantasy creatures!! If you're worried your commission won't be accepted, just ask! :>

> Payment options will be discussed in DMS :)

> When we've finally figured out what you want, I'll start the sketching process, and then you'll send the payment!

> There are no refunds unless absolutely necessary.

> All payment is made in USD!

> Any commission with a set deadline under a week will be considered a rush job, and there will be an extra $30 fee!

> I charge extra for additional characters and backgrounds. [As well as NSFW.]

[dizzy-dazzled]

finally,, after 3 years i have returned,,,,,which means i have three years worth of unposted art.

yall ready for an art spam?

[lemonlushff-iy]

Do you want to play a game?

You do? Good.

You know how these games work if you’ve ever seen one of Clearwillow’s...but game rules are HERE since it’s slightly different! I hope this is fun for people...that was my goal! And I hope you catch the “Easter Eggs” in it. I’m curious how many people will find them all. 

I’ll post everything once it’s done on FFN and AO3, and you can catch what I’m doing for @clearwillow‘s game early on my Patreon HERE! (It might be more smut...It might be fluff. WHO KNOWS! It will be OLR related...and it will go up as soon as it’s finished!)

Special thanks to @underwater0phelia​ for kink help and @clearwillow​ for additional edits...and the IYFF BC for brainstorming! Art by @clearwillow​ for @eringobroke​ - used and edited with permission. 

And now without further ado... The first treat (aka, the “freebie”).

Starting Fires

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe.

"Inuyasha, stop," Kagome giggled, trying to wriggle out of his hold as he pressed wet kisses up her neck. "I don't want to burn your bacon…"

"It's just bacon," he reasoned, his hands sliding up under her shirt. Or should he say his shirt? Fuck...there wasn't a better sight in the world than his best friend...his best girl...Kagome...Wearing his shirt in their kitchen in their house. Now that he had her again, he weren't never letting go of her. "I don't mind eating something else for breakfast."

"You will when your stomach is rumbling later," she blushed, grabbing his hands and pulling them down, his fingers grazing over the lace fabric of her panties. "Behave yourself and go grab a cup of coffee."

"I'd rather grab your—"

"—Coffee!"

She reprimanded, flipping the bacon in the pan. He placed a gentle nip to the side of her neck before moving away from her, a disappointed pout on his lips.

"Fine. But let it be known that I'm doing it under protest," he grumbled, moving to his cabinet to pull out a mug.

"Your protest has been duly noted, Sir," she teased, turning away from the stove to pick up her own cup of coffee. She brought it to her lips, sipping from it as she watched Inuyasha pour himself some. Their life together felt so surreal still. It felt strange to wake up in their house and cook them breakfast.

But it was a good kind of surreal.

The kind where she found herself pinching her arm to make sure it wasn't all some crazy dream. This was their life. And...she loved it.

"Mmm," he moaned, taking a sip from his cup. "As good as ever, Kags," he grinned toothily, and she risked entering his personal space to press another kiss to his lips.

"Glad you like it," she replied, running away from him again when he moved to squeeze her ass. She removed their bacon and eggs from the pan as a text message chimed on both of their phones, and Inuyasha raised a brow in curiosity. She watched him slide his thumb across the screen, before muttering out a low "Huh" as he read the text.

"What is it?" she asked, picking up their plates and placing them onto the island.

"See for yourself," he shrugged, placing the phone down next to her plate. "It's from Sango."

That already piqued her curiosity. Kagome picked up the phone, leaning over the countertop as she read it.

"Hey Guys!" She began aloud. "Miroku and I decided to throw a Halloween party this year. We know it's a bit last minute, but we were hoping you guys could come since you aren't heading back out to California like you thought. Let us know if you can make it! Trying to plan in terms of food. Love you!"

"Love you too," he grinned, and she couldn't stop the shy smile even if she wanted to. She didn't think she would ever get tired of hearing that again from him. The words were like a balm to her soul.

"What do you think?" Kagome asked, handing him his phone back as he began digging his fork into his eggs.

"Up to you," he shrugged. He really didn't care either way. He was just glad he didn't have to go out to California with her. Though, to tell the truth, he wouldn't have minded. They could have had a night in...just the two of them...And he was always a fan of nights in with her. But..."We can go. I know you wanna…"

It was true too. He had seen the way her eyes lit up when she was reading that message. The way she was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. Kagome didn't want to spend the night in. She wanted to spend her first Halloween back in Montana at a party with old friends.

"But...You...Don't?"

He shrugged.

"Don't matter either way. I'm fine going. I'm fine staying home and fucking ya seven ways from Sunday."

"Yash!"

"What! It's tha truth," he replied with a smirk. "And you can't tell me ya don't like the sound of it," he continued, running his tongue over his fangs. The cute little blush he pulled from her was worth it.

"Well...How about a compromise?"

He paused, lifting his brow in curiosity.

"Go on…"

"What if we went to the party...Just for an hour or two...and then afterward we can come home and have sex? Oh! We can even wear couple's costumes again!"

The phrase couples costume made his butt clench so tight he could probably twist off a beer cap with his cheeks.

"I'll agree to go to the party...but not the couple's costume."

"But Yash," she whined, coming around the island to take his hands. "That's part of the fun…"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll wear something slutty?"

"N—" He began, ready to tell her no again when his brain processed her offer. "Keep talking."

"I'll wear something slutty and sexy?"

"...Uh-huh...And what else?"

"...And you get to take it off of me?"

He almost said yes...but he was a greedy fucker. He was probably gonna take it off of her even if she hadn't offered that.

"Do I get to do more than that?"

"You mean other than wear a matching outfit?"

"I do."

"Well," she began, tilting her head to the side and pursing her lips in thought. "I'm assuming that sex is a given…"

"But you can say it anyway, and make it interesting," he shrugged. If he was going to get roped into this...because he was going to say yes, because he loved her...then he wanted to squeeze as much as he could out of this.

"Ok...If you do it, sex is on the table...and I'll also add you picking the place and position," she decided, causing his eyes to light up.

Place and position huh?

"Well...In that case Darling, you've got yourself a deal!"

Her childlike squeal and the way she giddily clapped her hands, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, made him feel like he made the right decision.

"Now let's talk costumes…"

He groaned, shaking his head and digging his fork into the eggs on his plate.

Then again...Maybe not…

He let her prattle on for a while, running different ideas past him...But he knew that it ultimately wouldn't matter. He was going to give in to whatever she wanted. If she wanted him to go as a hot dog, and she was going to be a bottle of mustard? That was what was going to happen. Wasn't sure how she could make it sexy...but sure. Her call. Prince and Princess? No fighting it. Batman and Catwoman…

It had piqued his interest, but she almost instantly changed her mind. The cowl would be uncomfortable for his ears.

So, she decided on a fireman and a dalmatian. He looked over at her phone when she held up a picture of the costume she had found for him and sighed.

"That's what you want?"

It didn't look too bad. And it looked like he could maybe get away with just wearing the pants. He was going to have to be sneaky about it though...He could do just a t-shirt and those pants.

"Please?" she beseeched, batting her long lashes at him. "It will be so cute! And you'll look so good!"

He tilted his head to the side, and she chewed the inside of his lip as she watched him roll her suggestion around in his head. She really liked the fireman outfit. She thought it would be fun! And he would look good in it too...She could already picture him slowly taking off the jacket to reveal his bare torso...the suspenders holding up his pants hanging limply at the sides as he slowly peeled himself out of—

"—What are you thinking about Kagome?"

She looked up at his face and saw him looking at her, a smirk stretching his lips as he limply held the phone, leaning down across the island.

"N-nothing," she blushed, swiping out to grab the phone from him, but he pulled it away from her at the last second.

"Nu-uh. I can smell it when you're lying…and I can smell it when you're—"

"—NOTHING!"

She insisted, grabbing the phone from him this time, and his grin turned predatory.

"Ain't nothing, or you wouldn't be smelling like that," he countered cheekily before his gaze began to darken. "Ya know...You don't have to keep that bottled up…"

"Inuyasha," she warned as he straightened, running his carefully filed and declawed fingers along the island countertop as he slowly came around to her side.

He was ignoring her, however.

"Kagome," he replied, closing in on her in just a few short strides. "Were you thinking about me in that fireman outfit?"

Sometimes she swore he could read her mind.

"N-no…"

"Liar," he purred, placing his hands onto the granite top on either side of her hips. He had effectively trapped her...and he was looking at her like prey.

It made her swallow because her mouth was suddenly dry. And made her lower abdomen heat. The intensity and desire in his gaze...the slight glint of fang in the morning light…

Fucking hell...She wanted to be his prey. Wanted to be captured and eaten and...eaten…

He inhaled deeply, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he lowly moaned, "Fuck Kags…"

"W-what," she swallowed, and his smirk widened into a fangy grin before his lips crashed into hers.

AN:

I WILL ONLY DO THIS WALL OF TAGS ONCE! All future treats will be completely hidden under cuts so I don’t spam everyone’s timeline with in your face kink!

@clearwillow, @keichanz, @dangerouspompadour, @nartista, @kaze-ranna, @superpixie42, @sticky-llama-perfection, @pinkpigeonstudio, @mcornilliac, @itzatakahashi, @zelink-inukag, @juliatheanimelover7, @i-dream-of-soup, @smmahamazing, @the-lucky-ones311, @cyncyn981, @animemomma96, @ayari17, @underwater0phelia, @sailorbabydoll92, @l-taisho29, @animelove1313, @littlemissinukag​, @gofoulpuppycollector, @umacaking, @chanin29​,  @willowandfog​, @lebiishoujo​, @theinuyashareader​, @bluejay785​, @irrationalandimpossible​, @cstorm86​, @ruddcatha​, @desiree239​, @littledaisy91​, @liz8080​, @cannibalsforbreakfast​, @horriblehowl​, @arcprz​, @daisy-st-pati3nce​, @senneth-pendra​, @nsr0716​, @eringobroke​, @kagometaishostory​, @thisshipisbananahs​, @sunsetskys​, @ajoy3fanfics​, @sangoslays​, @v0dka-cat​, @cloudsz04​, @lavendertwilight89​, @yurawiththegoodhair​, @saturnsilence​, @lavaffair​, @blairex​, @fawn-eyed-girl​, @fandomobsessions016​, @neutronstarchild​, @preciouslyours​, @kalsies​, @shnuggletea​, @ladyphoenix0711​, @littlestuffstohide​

See you at 500 notes!!

[basaltbutch]

thanks for tagging me @sunshineinbetween! :D

1. Why did you choose your url?

Mostly just wanted a change of pace from my old one! (Also my biological & abusive father was stalking my old url so.) But basically uhhhh i love wandering around in the middle of nowhere like a lost child and also corvids <3

2. Any side blogs?

Quite a bit actually! None of them are super active anymore because I stopped caring about social media. Only one that's still kinda used is @softsayings which is a joint blog between rickshaww and I.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

...I wanna say 2017??? Is when I made my first account? I abandoned it after a couple of months and never picked it up again (it was a kin blog, surprising probably no one) and I made this one in,,, March 2018 according to the archive. So when I was about 16.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I do not and the only thing I put in my queue is the anthropocene sea foam post whenever someone reminds me about it <3

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

This blog originally was a witchcraft blog. I. don't think that's the case anymore lmao.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

@rickshaww my beloved drew us for my birthday present and I wanted to show it off :3

7. Why did you choose your header?

Cool and sexy abandoned building we found during a roadtrip and one wall looked like album art!! (Also think it's especially cool how that building had the lyrics from the Garages' Deicide written on the wall and how I'd absolutely never even think about doing something like that.)

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

On this blog, it is, and I quote, "AAAAAAAA DISCIPLINE FUCKS HARDCORE" which 30 whole people seemed to like and I pray my blog never gets any bigger because if it gets like my old aesthetic blog I will just nuke this one and start over.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

No clue! I think I'm mutuals with most of the ppl I follow/that I regularly see on my dash though.

10. How many followers do you have?

109!! And I never want to get above 200.

11. How many people do you follow?

201! Also want to stay pretty low,,, too many and it gets overwhelming.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

uhhhhhh I cannot recall. Probably? Do the anthropocene spam posts count??

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

Oof.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Uhhhh,,,, no...??? I don't think so, at least not a real one.

15. How do you feel about ��you need to reblog this�� posts?

You put too many of those on my dashboard and it's an instant unfollow babey!! I do not wish to see it <3 if I think it's important and I have enough energy to care I would reblog it anyway, you guilt-tripping me automatically makes me stop listening <3

16. Do you like tag games?

I do!!! Would love to remember to do them😔. They make me feel like we are all sitting around a campfire asking each other weird questions.

17. Do you like ask games?

Sometimes!! I think it's funnier when I get just. random asks out of nowhere though. (my inbox is literally always open btw, go ahead and send me stupid shit if you're bored)

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

A really popular mystic messenger fan artist at the time. became mutuals with me and then immediately dipped for twitter?? Otherwise most of my mutuals r just chilling in our little corners. Doing our little gay activities.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Uh,,, I don't think so? 100% aro here, no crushes to be found. Y'all do make me really happy tho :3

Uhhhh no pressure tags; @rickshaww @heathenhouse @redminibike1

[robinrunsfiction]

-inhuman noise- you're one of my fave MCR writers; your Basement!Gee makes me squeal and flail happily. SO I kinda have a request? (Actually I have about a million requests but I'll try not to spam you.) Like, the (female) reader and Gerard are best friends, have been for awhile. Perhaps it's just after finals (or during the winter holidays) and they're hanging out in her dorm and maybe he finds her 'toy' stash? idk, confident!reader and shy!Gee are my jam. IDK BUT ILY MUCHLY

Learning Curve

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: Mature (smut) Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~1,350 Author’s Note: Love a college AU! This was a fun request, thank you!

“Isn’t it kinda weird that we pack up our whole lives to live in these tiny, shitty dorms for like four months, and then we pack everything back up just to go home for another month, just to then bring it all back for another four months!” you practically shouted as you paced your room.

“You really hate packing huh?” Gerard laughed from where he was sitting on your bed.

“Obviously!” You said throwing your hands in the air before bursting out laughing. “I just don’t know what I can’t live without for the next month or so. Obviously my computer, art supplies, and some clothes. But I do have clothes at home, and hygiene stuff,” you thought out loud.

“You’re still gonna come up to my place for New Year’s Eve right?”

“Oh definitely! That means I’ll have to bring something I’d wear to a party.”

“I mean, I dunno if we’ll go out to a party,” Gerard replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well you know I’m always ok with hanging out too,” you smiled. Really all you cared about was the thought of kissing him at midnight, if you were lucky.

“Do you still have my Smashing Pumpkins hoodie?” Gerard asked as you folded up clothes and stuffed them in your duffel bag.

“I may have already packed it,” you giggled.

“Hey (YN), can you come here a second?” The girl across the hall called to you. She had a date that night and had been asking your opinion on what to wear all afternoon.

“Yea just a second! Gee, if you want the sweatshirt back, it’s in the bag. I was gonna take it home and wash it, but,” you shrugged before heading across the hall.

After confirming with your neighbor that she looked smokin hot, you headed back to your room. When you walked in, Gerard was kneeling in front of your duffel bag. In his hands was a smaller bag that you stashed your toys. It was open, and his cheeks were burning red.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what I had grabbed, and I’m ugh” he groaned dropping the bag back into your duffel and getting up.

“Gee, it’s ok,” you smiled, putting your hands on his chest to stop him from rushing out. “I mean, they’re just sex toys. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“How do they,” he shifted on his feet uncomfortably. “I mean… what all do you...”

“Do… you wanna check it out?” You asked hesitantly.

Gerard ran his hand through his hair nervously and shrugged before eventually nodding.

A smile crept across your face. Minutes before you were hoping you were gonna get to kiss Gerard in a few weeks. Now you were about to fool around with him? This was a dream come true. “Ok,” you nodded. “Umm, don’t think I’m like… busting all of this out every weekend or whatever,” you laughed.

“(YN), we usually hang out most weekends,” Gerard replied. “I think I’d notice.”

You laughed. “Ok fine, yes but umm, come on,” you said picking up the bag, and taking his hand, leading him over to your bed. “So I have some restraints and a blindfold. Those haven’t seen any action in a long time,” you said in a disappointed tone. “And umm, my vibrator, and some… other things, but maybe save those for another time.”

Gerard’s eyes were as big as the moon when you looked up at him. “How’d you know you liked all that stuff?”

“By not being afraid to try stuff,” you shrugged. “Practice makes perfect and all that.”

Gerard nodded again. “I’ve only done like… basic, vanilla stuff.”

“Do you wanna try something new?”

“Yea! Yea, I mean if you want?”

You nodded this time. “I’ve always kinda wanted to kiss you Gee. Anything more, well, that’s just icing on the cake.”

Gerard bit his lip as he tried to keep from smiling too big. You both leaned in and your lips met chastely at first until you ran your hands through his hair, giving a little tug, and he responded with a moan. You smirked to yourself as you realized how much fun you were about to have with him.

You climbed into his lap, pushing him down onto the mattress as his hands slid under the hem of your shirt. You let your hips grind down against his as your tongues moved together. You broke the kiss long enough to pull Gerard’s shirt off and grabbed the wrist restraints from your bag. You could feel how hard Gerard was getting underneath you as you got them set up around the headboard of your shitty dorm bed. 

“Hands please,” you said and Gerard complied. You secured his hands above his head, and bit your lip at the sight. “We probably won’t need it, but safeword?”

“Pomegranate?”

“Sounds good,” you nodded in agreement. You pulled the blindfold over his eyes before shifting down his body to undo his belt and pull down his jeans. You palmed him over his boxers, and he let out another moan.

You pulled his boxers down and then took him in your mouth. He let out another delicious moan as you started to bob your head, one hand working what you couldn't take in, the other scratching at his pale thigh. Gerard's moans and gasps had to be the best thing you'd ever heard. 

"(YN), I'm close," he warned and you pulled off.

"What do you want Gee?" You asked innocently. 

"You."

"To do what?"

"Ride me."

"Perfect," you replied. You grabbed a condom out of the bag, sliding it on him. "Ready?"

"Yea," he replied, almost whimpering.

You took off your clothes before climbing back over him. You lowered yourself slowly over him. His lips parted in ecstasy and you wished you hadn't put the blindfold on him so you could watch his whole face.

"Oh my god," you gasped at how he filled you. When you started to move on him, you watched as he tugged against the restraints, wishing he could touch you.

"I'm, I'm not gonna last," he moaned. "I'm close."

"Come for me, Gee," you gasped. With a moan you felt him coming undone beneath you. The sight was more than you ever could have hoped for.

You stopped moving after a moment and pushed the blindfold off and you couldn't help but giggle at how blissed out Gerard looked.

“Sorry that was so quick, I just, it was just so fucking good. Like better than I ever dreamed it would be. God, and you’re so beautiful”

“It’s fine, I… wait, you’ve thought about this before?!”

“How could I not (YN), you’re like everything I’ve ever wanted in a girl.”

You grinned and leaned in and kissed him hard again. “If you wanted to, you could take care of me another way,” you suggested when you pulled back.

“Yea, but you’ll have to let me go first,” he replied with a laugh.

“Right,” you laughed before releasing the restraints around his wrists. You rolled off of him as he took a moment to clean himself up.

When he turned his attention back to you, it was more than you expected it. It felt like he was practically worshipping your body. He kissed you passionately, and then made his way down to your neck, chest, down to your thighs. The kisses and attention he paid to each touch was deliberate and tender. As he made his way between your legs, you were caught off guard at just how good he was. Your back arched off the mattress as you grasped at his hair, moaning as he slid first one finger, then another inside you. It wasn’t much longer you were coming undone yourself.

“Well this has certainly been more fun than packing,” you laughed once you had calmed down.

“Can… we maybe not have this be a one time thing?” Gerard asked shyly.

“I would love that,” you grinned. “And I think we definitely should stay in for New Years.”

[monsterqueers]

Semi-Liveblog of Xenogears

Finally getting around to this crunchy 1998 jrpg, watching it on youtube because ive been told the UI and game mechanics are really ass in places, this will be copypasted from my carefully largely spoiler free discord ramblings to my platonic partner in batches so no spam.

I know a few spoilers for this that were specifically why I wanted to witness it- IE that I can ‘Same Neurotype!’ a character, and its Really Dark. The Mindfuck stuff goes without saying its the monolithsoft staff.

Copypaste from last night under the cut

Ohhh man the screen resolution and menu sound effects very crunchy ps1 shit The low res anime&cgi  cutscenes with 90s dub voices... -chefs kiss- Very crunchy Man I think I recognize this fucking random extras voice.

(...)

but the dubbing pool of voices in 98 was pretty small so chances are I HAVE heard it but oh man this is a tense moment and the VAs sound like they are discussing the weather this is great

-juicy Space Bullshit happening- Some dude: Im evacuating the ship (said like im ordering coffee)

The graphics are pretty impressive for the ps1 I think. The cgi is hysterical tho Im sure it looked better on a crt tv because the spacing and blurring or the lights makes the shading look less fucky on a lot of older stuff The detail on the 2d animation is really good tho for a ps1 anime custscene

oh naked lady dubiously censored naked lady yes this is a xeno game there must be boobie. Contextless boobie Oh man now I gotta read a lot of white text on black screen lol but the music is nice never heard it but it sounds nostalgic 'look at this cute village with cute music!' ok 'it is now on fire!' That sounds about right oh my fffuninkg god that screen transition windows movie maker shit ohhh yes this is good the screen is still wobbling and flashing oh lord the eyestrain lol

First thing the protagonist does is swear we are getting off to an excellent start Awwwe he paints thats cute

oh god the iu direction hud THATS AWFUL(complementary) thats very 90s 00 Weird Shit Before They Codified Whats Expected With A Hud design

Fei(Protagonist) has a sparse room with just a fuckton of art supplies in it where he seems to be only drawing self insert fanfic lol. Hes got his priorities in order. oh man that low poly cow

They did good to make a fully 3d  'move the camera around' game in 98, as low poly as it is I can see the 'sort of squeezing out everything you can out of the game engine' effort that went into xc1 in this

This girl and also this whole village totally has death flags I can smell it on them they are to happy and cosy Fei dodging conversation he doesnt wanna have like Naked Dunban

Oh what the shit you can talk to an npc while you talk to another npc??? lmao CRUNCHY gameplay that sounds like you can cause problems for the ui and fill the screen with textboxes I hope they thought of that and don let let you endlessly add more text boxes this town music really sounds like music ive heard a million times before for hours but I know ive never played this game maybe its background music for some video essayist or something very cosy tho

KITTY OMG IF YOU TALK TO THE CAT IT MEOWS??? CAT SPOTTED AND IT IS ALSO GREEN FOR SOME REASON KITTY KITTY they better not kill the cat (they will probably kill the cat) you can make him(the protagonist not the cat) jump in a well for no reason lol OH PUN "'well' done! you found an item!" "Alls well that ends well." Ok this is a good localization

'bearcows' Oh so that isnt a cow its some fucked up chimera thing oH GOD ITS MOUTH OPENS LIKE A BEAR GOT IT OK

its got canines..... This animal is almost certainly one of the most dangerous.... Bulls kill so many people every year and this one has TEETH

'We got -list of a bunch of combo fruits and veggies- and turnips!' turnips, the universal constant I guess

no dont drink fertilizer fei apparently drinking miracle gro will heal you Dont Worry About It

The space lazer sounds for messing around in the menu lol

There is just no combat tutorial AT ALL HA oh hes got voice acted lines in battle lol!!! Thats a higher voice than I expected

completely incomprehensible battle hud fans really werent lying there it is Super Crunchy Can barely read this lol and at the speed the person playing is buzzing through it I cant tell if its turn based or not Dont know what that bar is either I THINK its turn based with a time limit? Yeah seems to be Head so hard you can kill a wolf by headbutting it I guess sorry its a two tailed jackal lol thats cool monster design tho

its a chicken in the house how cute! -talks to the chicken and it makes a horrible staticky noise- ah Fei, while pleasant bg music plays: hm wonder where the doctor is :) -explosion noise- -all music stops-

found him!

Ah yes For No Particular Reason This Is Shaped Like A Cross And Has A Winged Person Statue In It

This game is under NO CIRCUMSTANCE epilepsy or motion sickness friendly lol

Also yes the windows movie maker wobbly screen effect is EXACTLY what dissociation feels like thats right.

Knowing the special spoiler that I do about this game makes this part unintentionally funny. Dude its your alter. Crack ur plural egg. The childs VOICE ACTOR OH MY GOD LMAOOO OOF Things are already going ‘fun’ directions

Oh I think im getting whats going on with combat, you do fucking button combos in your turn??? is that whats going on? Oh GOD the platforming..... Oh thats the real content warning for this game.... Oh wow. Thats really bad. oh! Is that a conlang or another real language I cant tell its cool has anyone tried to make a language bible for it if its a conlang? conversations like Fei: If ur gonna kill me at least try to aim for the vitals attempted murderer: What The Fuck We finally get a full name for our protag! Rejoice! HAHAHAHHA OH MY GOD WHO IS THE MCS VOICE ACTOR LMAO OH MY GOD THIS IS VERY MUCH EARLY DUB HMGJFDjgh

oh hey his va was an extra in avatar the last airbender

The voice cracks in the kid version of the character ohhh my god this is excellent horrible 00s english dub

the music is really good though very nice atmosphere

Yeah it seems to be different button presses use some energy on the bar and you combo them in an attempt to puzzle that together for your turn with some combos being special and will do lots of damage or something???

Also you can really hear the music vibe being very xenoseries. Them violins set to mental break downs <3

'the lip synch in xc2 is bad' Observe Xenogears Lip Synching in the anime cutscenes Oh man its Bad Lip Synching (in a good way)

wow thats a lot more blood than theyd get away with in a t rated game today! well its 2d so probably actually thats fine but

Jesus christ Feis english VA is unintentionally hilarious Its a 14 year old anime boy voice and hes Beefy Like it would be one thing if it was a good 14 year old boy voice, but it sounds like a grown man trying(badly) to do a 14 year old boy voice for a beefy man which is why its funny good thing hes mostly crying and screaming in the cutscenes and not talking

Random t rex in a xeno game we meet again!

LMAO deus es helicopter

Dropkicking sharks in the desert... Yes. Normal activities

Ahhh yes, time for the talking about god again! This is a xenogame AND a jrpg after all. Gods are hunted for sport. I think I kinda like the 1.25 speed versions of some of these songs more than the regular version but that might be because ive now listened to them that way for 2 hours

Oh yeah this is a game that if you played high would be a very bad time. Some real mindfuck shit is happening (complementary) HIM! The dude the internet really likes! Blonde himbo spotted! BART XENOGEARS,,,

wow the doctor guy can do a full split his wife must like that

HHHEXCUSE ME???!?! Word for word quote: 'Is there anyone who is almost dead, with no arms and legs, or in need of an abdominal operation!? No one...? Well that's depressing..."

LMAOOOO We found a dude in a cave who doesnt believe in evolution and thinks space aliens brought humans to the planet and hes probably right lets be real this is a jrpg. (edited) Guy In A Cave: -proceeds to belt out straight up bible stories when asked about what ‘myth’ he believes in- Ok this is a xeno game he is almost certainly right if hes yelling about god

Just three dudes in a cave, two himbos with hair past their ass and an old man yelling about god and his skull collection. Lovely.

There is one brain cell in the party and our other guy has it who isnt in the party right now. We are talking to the old dude. We should not be talking to an old dude who collects human skulls even if he is friendly but thats just me

This customization menu is atrocious oh wow INCREDIBLE,,,

Wow Bart really is proto-Zeke from xc2 no wonder xenofans are rabid for himbos. WHY must the customization window zoom to the asscheeks of the not-gundams every time you refuel them What, are we piping fuel up the robots asshole? Is that whats happening?

Oh new himbo is kind to children no wonder people think hes husband material lol

-insert 'sand is coarse and rough and gets everywhere' star wars joke here- also new guy has pirate music and pirates are cool so like.

its a fucking prOJECTOR HEHEHEHEH LIke the ones that project light on a viewscreen from above omg you can taste the 00s

Man I can see exactly why xenogears people are so obsessed with Bart. Pretty, beefy, friendly but distinctly weird to mildly unhinged, pirate-cowboy-prince, whips. wait a minute wait a minute. Robots, mindfuckery, sad protagonist who Doesnt want To Get in The Robot.... When did NGE come out old on- I thought so it came out in ‘95 I feel this is a bit of a love letter to NGE

omg omg Bart does a little hopping animation when hes excited thats adorable

does... does this bad guy really just straight up have a giant cross tattooed on his face??? Theres heavyhanded symbolism and then theres whatever that is (edited)

ok I have to stop watching these and go to bed but thots so far: - The fandom darling is as good as advertised. Excellent man lemmie give him a headpat I want to eat him like a croissant. - Charming and Weird And Fucked Up in equal measure which is good - You can smell the crunchy 90s sci-fi emanating from this game(complementary) - The music sounds deeply nostalgic like ive heard it for hours a million times before but ive 100% never heard any of this game. Good stuff. - I am intrigued how the funny 'jump in the well' gag has progressed from funny pun hole with items in it if you jump down it a few times into using a well to sneak into some shitheads lair and unkidnap a little girl. Wonder if this is gonna keep being a thing.

[myheelsdontmatchmysweatpants]

This is my first collab fic and I could not be more excited! I'm so thankful that I can be part of the group!

The AU for this month was Sex Work. The Masterlist for this collab can be found here. Please take some time to check out everyone's contributions! There are other fics and amazing art!

That being said here is my fic, big BIG shout out to @doinmybesthere for being an amazing beta reader and sweet angel bb. ily Emme!

Please please please read the warnings. They are there for a reason!

Warnings: consensual noncon, mentions of being burnt, stabbing and blood; no prep penetration, disrespectful use of the word "whore", blackmail, psychological abuse?, Mineta (nuff said) he gets what's comin to him

You’re in the doctor’s office getting a regular checkup when you overhear the nurses in the station next to you talking.

“Look! They posted the new hero rankings today.”

“I forgot those were today, too bad they can’t have the conference during the pandemic. I miss seeing Deku all cute and blushing.”

“FUCK” In your brief moment of panic you forgot where you were. You cringe and look at the nurses, trying your best not to look like you were gonna be sick. “Sorry ladies, didn’t mean to yell.” No point in offering an explanation. You wouldn’t be able to tell them anything anyway.

As you very impatiently wait for your blood results to come back you check the tacky red cell phone you have to keep with you at all times. You had put it on silent since you were in the doctor’s office and you were glad you did. Taking a quick look at your screen had your stomach dropping into your ass.

M.M: Gonna move my appointment up to today.

M.M: You better get ready. I’m not happy.

M.M: I’m sure you saw the postings. Number 36.

M.M: I made sure to pay for any accidents in advance.

M.M: I’ll see you tonight.

Why does he have to be so fucking horrible? Accidents my ass.

The messages make your skin crawl, you should have figured the hero rankings would piss him off but honestly you never paid enough attention. With a heavy sigh you opened up your web browser and pull up the list.

“Number 36...number 36…. Number 36…” When you finally reached the hero you were looking for, you let out a sigh.

Hero Ranking Number 36: The Rainy Season Hero Froppy

Well at least you had her outfit already, for some reason she was one your client asked for a lot. Not that you wanted to ask him why, not with the way his black eyes looked whenever he saw you dressed up like her.

I don’t know if I should feel glad that he isn’t actually taking this out on her. Or upset that I’ve had to deal with this for months.

“L/N, Y/N?” The doctor walks up holding their clipboard and closing the privacy screen. Your file almost too much for the metal clip at the top. “Your test results came back negative and your burns seem to have healed very well. I would tell you that any strenuous activity should be avoided but we both know you can’t do that.”

Their poor attempt at humor had your stomach rolling. “Haha anyways Doc, I think I’m gonna need another medkit to take home today. I can schedule my next appointment online, right?”

You can’t handle the thinly veiled pity in their eyes and look down, reaching over to your side to grab your purse. You hear them moving around and a dark blue plastic box is put on your lap.

“If I remember correctly this is your favorite color, right? You are able schedule an appointment online but if you would like I can schedule it for you. How about in two days? Afternoon work for you?”

You look up after clutching the kit to your chest, you know they are just trying to be nice. All of the nurses are especially nice to you and as endearing as it might be to some people, to you it just feels dirty.

“Afternoon is perfect, thanks Doc.” You get up and walk towards the privacy screen. Before leaving you stop for a moment “Blue ismy favorite color.”

As you make your way back to your living quarters you scroll through the internet looking at every picture of the Pro-Hero Froppy you can find. Your quirk can project a person’s desires onto your body by reading them in their eyes. It’s easier when the person has a clear view of what or who they want. However, your client’s desires are such a jumbled mess that it’s easier if you know what it is beforehand.

Hopefully, I can act like her enough that I don’t have to look at his desires this time. I can’t stand how disgusting they make me feel.

You pass by a few familiar faces on your way back to your rooms but don’t pay them any mind. They in turn leave you alone, most of them knowing that when you have that look on your face you were in a mood.When you first were offered a position at the brothel you thought it would be easy money. You had been stripping for several years, known for how you looked different to everyone who saw your dancing. The beautiful, enchanting, flexible Erised. You had built up your quirks ability to be able to project almost a full clubs worth of desires. Sure, it caused extreme fatigue and chronic migraines but the money you raked in was well worth it.

A few months ago

After an especially successful night a patron walks up to you after you leave the stage.

“I have a job opportunity for you, courtesy of my employer.” He hands you a card you read “Heroes Consulting Agency” in bold silver letters.

“I’m a stripper hun, not sure I can do the type of consulting you’re looking for.” You go to hand it back, but they put their hand up.

“I’m afraid I must insist, why don’t we treat you to lunch and you can listen to our proposal?”

You put your hand back down and study them. They are dressed in a white button up with a vest, definitely out of place in a strip club. You would look in their eyes, but they didn’t really have any, their whole body seemed to be made of dark smoke. You don’t work in the nicest of places so someone with their kind of full body quirk isn’t unusual.

“Alright, I give. I’m not really one to pass up free food.” The rational side of your brain is telling you that you have more than enough money to buy your own food but the stingy part telling you to take it while you can is a little louder.

“Excellent choice Miss Erised. Someone will meet you at the address on that card tomorrow at around 5pm? Should give you enough time to recover from the side effects of your quirk.” They give a slight bow and walk off towards the exit, a large something getting up from a seat and following closely behind.

Sam, one of the waitresses walks up to you with a tray filled with drinks. Her normally short stature elevated with high heeled leather boots. “Did you know that person Y/N?”

Oh man, I do not have the energy for this.

You turn to her and survey the tray before grabbing something that looked like a fruity cocktail. “No, but they offered me a job. Gonna go have lunch with them tomorrow.” Sipping from the glass you tuck the card into your bra, making sure to not show it to the girl.

“That’s weird, don’t they know you’re a stripper? What is someone dressed that nicely want to hire you for? Also did that person look familiar to you or is that just me?” Any normal person wouldn’t be able to keep up with her unending questions, but you had known her for years. The tray in her hands tips dangerously to the left but she balances it out without a second thought.

Guess she does have to be quick on her toes to be a waitress at a strip club.

“They were here for my dance so yes they do know, either way I’m getting free food so…”

She huffs, aware of your attitude for anything “free”.

You finish the drink and place the empty glass back taking a couple bills from your bag and tucking them into her apron.

“Thanks for the drink Sam, but I gotta leave before my headache hits.” You walk off before she can say anything further. You really wanna be nice to her but her endless energy really gets on your nerves sometimes.

By the time you make it to your modest apartment, you can feel the pain starting behind your eyes. You drop your stuff by the door without turning on any lights and walk to the box safe hidden in the kitchen. After you make sure all the money is secure you grab a glass of water and head to the bedroom. The bottle of pain killers already set out on your nightstand. You should really take a shower but for now, you strip down, take a few pills, drink the whole glass of water, and lay down. It takes a while for the pills to kick in but once they do you finally fall asleep.

When you finally wake up the next morning your headache is gone, and you have to piss like no one’s business. You grumble as you stretch your tight sore muscles and get up to go to the bathroom. After taking care of business, you get into some light clothes and walk into the kitchen to make some food. Thankfully, you had some leftover rice and spam in the fridge, so you pop that in the microwave. You put the kettle on for some green tea and down another glass of water as it heats up.

Remembering the offer from yesterday and the promise of free food you pad over to your pile of things by the door and grab their card. It’s sleek looking with a plain black background and silver lettering. The address isn’t something you recognize right away so you look it up on your phone.

“What the fuck?” Why is this place in a business park?

You scroll down and check the street view; the building is a high rise surrounded by a mostly empty parking lot. The entrance of the building is blurred, probably to keep the privacy of anyone entering or exiting.

“Well, I guess it’s a nice gig. Better dress the part.” Or maybe you’re gonna get murdered.

“Wow, I really have to stop watching all those true crime shows.” You put the card in your wallet and head back to the kitchen. The microwave beeps and the kettle whistles shortly after. When you’re done eating you put the dishes in the sink to soak and head to the bathroom to finally take a shower.

By the time you have finished showering the whole bathroom is filled with steam and your body has a pink flush to it. You open the door to air it out and finish cleaning up for the day. Your outfit consists of your nicest jeans with ankle boots, a long sleeve blouse and a dark cardigan. You grab one of your smaller over the shoulder purses and leave your apartment.

One of the things you allowed yourself to really splurge on was a car. Public transportation was not as reliable as it could be and with your hours not the safest either.

By the time you make it to the building the sun is starting to set, giving the sky beautiful pink to blue coloring. As you park and get out of your car a young woman walks up to you.

“Welcome Miss Erised! Please follow me and I will escort you through the building.” The woman’s blonde hair is in two messy buns, her face childlike. Her voice was high pitched enough to grate on your nerves a bit, but you ignored it.

As you follow the person through the lobby you take a glance around. Looks like a high-end hotel lobby. There is a front desk area with a marble counter top, women that are dressed in matching button ups with their hair up in buns or ponytails. Random potted plants and small trees dot the area, and a nice chandelier hangs in the middle of the ceiling. No one besides the women at the front desk are in the area.

“Doesn’t seem to be busy right now.” You didn’t even really mean for her to hear you, but she did, and you sounded like an asshole.

They turn their head slightly with a knowing smirk. “It would seem that way wouldn’t it?”

Conversation halts while you stand in the elevator which you were thankful for. They had chosen a floor close to the middle of the building, which gave you just enough time to rethink your life choices.

By the time you got to your floor you are tired of the silence. Normally you hate small talk, but you figured you would give it a shot. “Do you like your job?”

The woman turns to you and smiles, here canines peeking out a bit while shrugging her shoulders. “It keeps me busy, plus I get to make so many friends.” The gleam in her eyes flashes menacingly for a quick second, you decide to pretend you didn’t see it.

As you get to the end of the hall, she opens a door and gestures you inside, closing it behind you. There is a nice desk to the left of the door, other than that the room is sparce. The person sitting in the chair has quite an eclectic look about him. Grey hair parted to the side, shrew eyes behind circular wire rimmed glasses, a gold chain peeks out from the slightly open white button up with a purple blazer. He reeks of cigarette smoke the evidence of his habit tossed into the half-filled ash tray on the desk.

“So nice of you to join me Miss Y/N. Why don’t you have a seat, we can talk about your new position.” He gestures to the only other chair a smirk on his face that shows of his missing tooth.

“I haven’t accepted the job yet Giran, and I thought I told you I don’t want to work for you.” You aren’t used to seeing him in this type of place. But you do know him so there is no need to put on a show. You lean back in the chair and cross your arms.

“How rude of me, you won’t be working for me, but I have been given authority to hire for this company.”

You don’t bat an eye; most large companies use outside help for hiring. “What is this position you would like offer me?”

“This company provides heroes with a way to alleviate their… desires in a safe and discrete way.”

“So, you hire prostitutes for heroes to have sex without worrying about anyone telling the press about it.”

“That is correct.”

“I don’t know if your just stupid or if you forgot but I’m a stripper not a hooker.” You sit up in your chair fully ready to leave the room.

“They would provide you with a fully furnished apartment, medical coverage with 24/7 access to their fully trained medical staff. Any cash given to you by your clients you can keep, however they would take a percentage out of the money they initially pay for your services.”

“Let’s say I’m a little interested, how much is the initial pay for my services?” You want to deny the offer, nothing wrong with having sex for money but it isn’t really your thing.

Giran doesn’t answer right away, instead putting out what is left of his cigarette only to pull another one out of his blazer and lighting it up. “The starting hourly rate is $2,500 an hour, they would take 30 percent from that.”

Holy shit, that’s as much as I make in a day and I would be making it an hour? You keep your face neutral but something in your eyes must have tipped him off.

“You would start tomorrow; most clients keep a contract with their favorite employee and we actually have someone lined up for you already. He has extremely specific tastes and you are the perfect person to fill in.”

“I’ll have to talk to the club owner; would it be possible to start later?” You don’t want to seem to eager, especially not in front of him.

“I don’t see that as a problem, they can give you one week but that’s it.”

You stay silent, making it look like you’re thinking about it. After a moment you lean forward in your chair and stick your hand out. “Sounds like a deal to me.”

Giran grabs you hand and gives it a firm shake. “If you ever need help or have any questions call the number on the card. Now I believe you were offered dinner, let me take you to one of my favorite places.”

You let his hand go and rise from the chair. As Giran comes around the desk and walks towards the door, he stops for a moment and turns to you. “Welcome to the team.”

Dinner was actually genuinely nice; the food was good, and you were able to have a comfortable conversation with Giran. Of course, he didn’t tell you anything about himself, but you had no problems with that, you didn’t wanna share anything to personal about yourself either. He dropped you back off at your car after dinner and shook your hand again before driving off.

By the time you got home you had decided what you were gonna tell the club owner and mentally packed your apartment. Not wanting to take all of your things you moved most of it to a secure storage facility. Having had it for a few years already in order to store the overabundance of clothes you owned.

After the week was up you had quit your job and packed all of your belongings. You realize you don’t know where you are supposed to go so you pull out the card and call the number.

“Hello, how can I assist you?”

“Giran never told me where I would be moving my stuff to. Could you give me the address?” You pick at your nails while waiting for him to answer.

“Of course, Miss Erised. Will you be needing any assistance for your move?”

He sounds so polite; I wonder if he is always like this.

“No, I’ll be fine on my own thank you.”

He gives you the address and let you know that you can call if you need any additional information.

“Good luck Miss Erised.”

When you get back to your apartment you immediately go into the shower and wash up, using the tea tree oil that Froppy had said she uses in an interview.

I don’t understand how people can like this stuff, but he gets easier to handle if I smell like those women.

When you are done you towel dry your hair and make sure to lotion your whole body. When your hair is dry enough you straighten it and leave it down. He likes it better when its down.

You go to your closet and rifle through until finding the very skimpy version of Froppys hero costume. All it really has in common with the original is the tan harness and the green with black and yellow stripes. Otherwise, it is a one-piece bikini without a crotch. You grab your black leather over the knee boots and get dressed. After checking the time, you give yourself a moment to mentally prepare.

I hate this, I hate him. Disgusting filthy little bug. A false hero, a plague. I can’t wait to leave this place.

Standing in the middle of your room you close your eyes and take deep breaths, allowing your consciousness to drift. You have found that the best way to endure these sessions is to detach yourself from the situation. Only focusing on the absolute necessary and maintaining the effects of your quirk. Giving yourself another minute to get into character you walk to the door joining your apartment to the “service room”.

Thankfully, he hasn’t shown up yet, you shut the door hearing the lock click into place, the door seamlessly vanishing into the wall. Sitting on the edge of the bed you face the door that Mineta will walk through and wait.

No matter how many times we do this I never lose the feeling of wanting to vomit while bathing in bleach.

When he walks in you see that he is wearing his hero costume, as atrocious as it is. He never really deviated from the original design. You immediately start your performance.

“Mineta? What am I doing here? kero” You clasp your hands together in front of your chest and look around frightfully.

“Hello Tsu, what a pleasant surprise to see you here.” He walks up, taking off his gloves and throwing them to the side.

“I don’t understand, do you know where- “Your sentence is cut off, pain in your cheek sharp and hot.

“I don’t believe I gave you permission to talk Miss thirty sixth hero.” He stands there with his hand still up as you cup your cheek and look up at him, the tears in your eyes real. He pulls his hand back again as if to slap you and you flinch.

“Good girl, now finish taking off my outfit for me.” Mineta walks back a few steps and holds his arms out. Your fingers are clumsy as you take it of piece by piece.

Mineta abruptly grabs a fist full of your hair and yanks your head back. You grab his hand with both of yours trying to ease his grip.

“Do you think if you do it slow enough, I’ll get bored and go away?” He pulls harder. “Huh? You really think you’re gonna get out of this don’t you.” He tosses you towards the bed and you scramble to get back on your feet.

The tears in your eyes have started to spill over and you start babbling. “Please let me go Mineta, I don’t know what I did but please pleasejust forgive me kero. I won’t tell anyone about this just please don’t hurt me kero.”

He doesn’t answer you, just finishes taking off his outfit before he is walking towards you again, a vicious gleam in his beady eyes.

You back up until the back of your legs hits the bed. You open your mouth to speak but before you can utter a single word, he slaps you again.

“I told you not to speak unless I told you to once already. Now I’m gonna have to punish you, aren’t I?” He shoves you onto the bed and follows, using his knees to push your legs open he sits up and gives himself a few pumps.” No need to prep you, I want this to hurt.”

You are sobbing at this point, your hands covering your face when you feel him push into you. A scream rips out of your throat and you reach forward to push him away.

“You know Tsu, these meetups have been the best. I’m thinking next time I will find the REAL you and have even more fun.” He closes his eyes a leans his head back, fully immersed in only getting himself off.

To engrossed in his own world, he doesn’t realize that you have gone still. Your tears have stopped, and you have pulled your hands back from him.

DISGUSTING

“Find the real me?”

VILE

You break character, bringing your full consciousness back. You voice is just a whisper at first, so he doesn’t hear you, doesn’t stop thrusting.

FALSE HERO

“Find the REAL me?!” You are screaming at him now.

He finally stops, hearing you the second time. For a second you see fear in his eyes before they fill with rage.

MONSTER

“Hey! You better start doing the job I paid you for, I don’t come here for you to question me.” He lifts his hand up, as if to slap you again. Before his hand comes down you grab it, squeezing until he yelps in pain.

This job is over, he isn’t worth keeping around anymore.

“You think I give a shit about a little piss ant like you?!” As you sit up, he yanks his arm away and pulls out of you. Stumbling back, he starts shaking a finger in your direction.

“You can’t talk to me like that! You’re just a whore!”

You dart forward before he can put more distance between you and grab him by the neck. As you pick him up you snarl and let your quirk fade away.

“I may be a whore but I not a monster like you. You are just a fake hero, a plague on this world and I will get rid of every single one of you.” You throw him onto the ground still holding on to his neck and squeeze.

“In other news, Minoru Mineta also known as the pro hero Grape Juice has gone missing after several videos of him have gone viral. He was last seen leaving a brothel that has requested to remain nameless. The videos contain triggering scenes of the pro hero having relations with a prostitute while she is dressed in various hero suits the resemble his old female classmates. He even refers to them by name. The videos contain triggering images, and it is recommended to not seek them out. The original videos have since been taken down but are reuploaded onto the internet on several other sites. The prostitute shown in the videos has also gone missing. Any information on the whereabouts- “

The T.V. turns off, the voice of the news anchor no longer filling the dimly lit bar. The people present remain silent for a moment before a man with burns all over his body starts to laugh.

“You could have really fucked that up Doll. Good thing we got enough evidence.” You sneer at him, making sure you change your appearance to match your own desire. He flinches when he sees his own face.

“I wish you had cut him! There wasn’t enough blood to keep his appearance up for awfully long!” The young woman with two messy blond buns in her hair twirls a knife around.

“I’m terribly sorry Toga, but I didn’t have anything sharp with me.” You pick at your nails and look over at Kurogiri, who is busy pouring a glass of whiskey for Dabi. “Do I get a break after this one or do you and boss man have another gig for me?”

[rebsrebsrebsrebs]

Thank you all for following!!

When I made this blog uh... a few months ago, I was just in need of somewhere to keep all my Obey Me! stuff so I wouldn’t spam my main blog. And then I thought hey, I wanna write a fanfic. Might as well post it. And then I picked up a new tablet and started to draw my MCs, and then I kept writing, and then and then, rinse and repeat, and now I have 100 of y’all following me for my stuff, and I’m super grateful and also incredibly surprised!! In the good way!! Like wow!! So I wanna thank y’all with ART and GRATUITOUS ANSWERING OF QUESTIONS.

ART RAFFLE REWARDS

ONE (1) first place winner gets a waist-up sketch (like the above, color or not, up to you) of one character of their choosing! You could pick an Obey Me! boy, dateable or not; one of your MCs / OCs; or literally any character you want, I’m not your parent. And I’ll draw it for you!!

THREE (3) runners-up will get an Obey Me! style chibi of their MC / OC or any character of your choosing! If it’s one of the Obey Me! characters, well uh, that’s okay but they already have chibis so maybe do something else? Again, I’m not your parent. Examples above. These are fun to make and I love doing them!!

ART RAFFLE RULES

Must be following by the time the raffle closes to win - new followers are welcome!

A like is one entry, a reblog is one entry. Two entries max this way

One bonus entry for sending me a Q and A question off anon that follows the Q and A rules below. I’ll make sure it’s counted. You can ask as much as you want, but only one will count towards your entries. If your question was already asked by someone else, don’t worry, I’ll still count you.

If your Obey Me! or other fandom blog is a sideblog so your following name (i.e. your main) is a different URL, let me know in your reblog.

Don’t spam this, aight, be cool

The raffle will CLOSE on JUNE 26TH, 7PM EASTERN TIME. I’ll draw names shortly after and DM the winners.

Q AND A RULES

Ask me whatever you want and if I deem it fit to print, I’ll answer it. Keep it fun, keep it easy, keep it breezy.

I’ll be collating the responses in one big post so I’m not spamming you with ask answers. I’ll give some examples of stuff that I will answer and won’t, but I reserve the right not to answer your question for any reason.  Just don’t be a shithead and I’ll probably answer it. 

Here’s the kind of stuff I’ll answer, in general

Regular get-to-know-you questions: what’s your favorite ice cream, why do you color your hair, what’s your favorite video game, etc etc

Creative process questions for art or writing

Stuff about Obey Me! including my opinions on stuff. Not HCs or imagines.

Other fandoms I’m in/been in/and questions about those series (some big ones to get you started: Bioshock, Dragon Age, Vocaloid)

Ask me to show you a meme or a song or something.

I’ll answer NSFW questions, fuck it, why not.

Again, don’t be awful and you’re probably fine, and I reserve the right to not answer something for any reason.

The Q and A will also close on June 26th, 7PM Eastern Time. I’ll close the askbox until I have time to sort through everything.

All that said...

Thank you again!! I really love writing and drawing for all of y’all. This is a fun place to be. Thanks for making my stay-at-home days really enjoyable.

[shotosprincess]

When he loves me — Iwa ♡︎ Oikawa

LISTEN TO: “ CLOUD 9 “ — BEACH BUNNY

ART: UNKNOWN ( i found it as a sticker on picsart since i couldnt find any good iwaoi screencaps so if yk who the artist is plspls lmk !! ty !! )

｡･:*:･-: ✧ :,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

pairing: iwa x oikawa

summary: iwa shyly plays oikawa a song he wrote on a whim ,, and years later ,, after they fell apart ,, oikawa attends one of iwa’s concerts and hears their song,, the song,, once more .

genre: angst + fluff !! <3 ugh i love oikawa my bby but i absolutely love him and iwa together sm too ajjdjjf

a/n: 3am writing for comfort innit (•̀ᴗ•́)و smhsmh it’s lowkey so dramatic ?? idk why i was feeling so melancholic ?? but i live for the yearning anyways lmao <//3

“ Hey...wanna...hear something I’ve been working on? “

Iwa’s voice shifted to one of a far softer tone, unusually uncertain of himself as he gripped the bedsheets beneath him in an anxious hold, turning away from Oikawa whilst a deep vermillion blush tainted his shy-stricken face.

The hazel-haired setter lifted his mouth into a gentle smile, skin mirroring a similar red to Iwa’s. His head lolled to the side, and Iwa swore he felt something flutter within him. The fist which he clutched the bedsheets within closed even further.

“ Sure, Iwa-chan! “

A hard gulp. Iwa swallowed his nerves down, fingers hovering over the strings of his freshly-purchased guitar, hesitant. Trembling, even.

Light wisps of brown swept just over Oikawa’s eyes as he put down the volleyball he had been mindlessly spinning, and covered Iwa’s hands with his own. He looked up with a reassuring grin, deepened-honey gaze colliding with one of the enchanting midnight sky.

“ It’s okay. It’s just me. But of course, you don’t have to play if you don’t wan— “

Iwa swats his hand away. “ Of course I wanna, dumbass! “ He barked.

With a frustrated huff, his fingers find a home amongst the sound as they begin to delicately strum the translucent strings. His eyes fell closed, lost in the music, albeit fairly cliche, as he wordlessly played the song which was most special to him.

For what reason it held such a cherished place in his heart, he did not know. Not truly, at least. Admittedly, he had written it purely on a whim, clutching onto the fleeting remnants of a foreign euphoric high. The crazed rush of fingers furiously clacking against the keyboard filled the silence of his room, lasting well into the evening. He had so much to say, so much to express, and yet it was only through the words appearing on the screen in which he could ever hope to communicate it.

He had never even planned on sharing it. After all, it was merely a crappy, rushed song put together purely by the rawness of an unknown emotion, and during ungodly hours of the night out of all times. It was nothing special, really.

To him, at least.

And yet in a hushed, timid tone, he began to sing:

“ I don’t wanna seem the way I do...but I’m confident when I’m with you... “

Oikawa’s lips parted in sheer awe. The delicate swirls of the instrumental blended flawlessly into the angelic quality of Iwa’s singing. His muscles tensed. He shook it away.

What the hell is this? Was he...nervous? No, no, it can’t be. This is Oikawa-fucking-Tooru we’re talking about!

He could do nothing but stare intently in a silent adoration as he allowed his heartbeat to meld with the smoothness of the melody, sweeping him out of Iwa-chan’s bedroom and into a whole other universe entirely. One where there exists no pain, no sadness, no fear. One where tears dried before they could even splatter upon the ground. One where everything was happy and perfect and...good.

—

IWA

Five years have passed, yet I miss him all the same. If anything, the ache has only grown to, somehow, prove itself increasingly unbearable over the time we’ve spent apart. My stare falls upon my guitar. Not the new one, which is this modern, flashy model with a bold red design, but my first-ever guitar, boasting its worn-out strings and dulled body. The hole in my heart digs itself impossibly deeper.

We had dated not long after that night—the night I played my song to him, and suddenly it became our song. We would whip it out like a handy party trick whenever we’d hangout with the rest of the team, and it was...nice to say the very least. Well, while it lasted, of course. Highschool love, teenage love, is constantly fleeting. Temporary. That was my philosophy at least, until Oikawa Tooru appeared and changed everything. I disregarded every sense of rationality, and all for the blissful rush of romance which he offered. The sneaking out, the small notes snuck into each other’s lockers, the way he draped his jacket over me when I got cold, the tender kisses shared in a darkened room.

I loved it. All of it. And when I lost him, I missed him too. All of him.

I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised, though. After all, teenage love is but a transient feeling, is it not? I had to drill the reiteration of my old motto back into my head when we split, so that I may never allow myself to yield to the temptations of love, or at least the attractive promise of one, ever again. Eventually, we had to go our separate ways. He pursued volleyball, and I chased relentlessly after a different growing passion of mine, though honestly rather unexpected; music.

And now here I am. Sitting backstage at my own show, waiting patiently for my cue. My foot taps a random rhythm against the floor as I mentally debate with myself whether or not my choice for the opening song truly was the best option.

I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?

He might be watching.

Fair, but would he even recognize me? Does he even remember me at all? I mean, it’s been so long...

I think he’d remember something as sentimental as the song you first played him. I mean, you were the first guy he ever dated.

Yeah, keyword: “ dated “. He’s probably moved on by now.

Shit, do you think he’s found someone new already? What if he brought them to the show?

Nah, nah. That’s highly unlikely. Impossible, even. The latter, that is. It’s not exactly that popular of a show.

Right, you’re right. So there’s nothing to worry about. Hakuna-fuckin-matata, right?

I suck in a sharp breath as the lights come on, laughing dryly.

Hakuna-fuckin-matata.

—

OIKAWA

My hands fiddle with one another as I push my way past the busy crowd to find a spot amongst the front row. A cheery girl with astonishingly-saturated red hair and an almoat-overwhelming brightness about her, greets me. I scoff, amused.

A fangirl, no doubt. Charming.

“ Oikawa! Ohmygoshohmygosh, Oikawa Tooru!! Hi!! I’m—I’m— “

I glance at the front row, which is only a few steps away, as her blubbered words start to blur together. I laugh.

“ A fan, right? Want my autograph or something? A picture, maybe? “

Her eyes light up vastly and she begins to bounce up and down with the same enthusiasm I’ve noticed to be common among practically all fangirls.

“ YES! Ohmygosh, yesyesyesYES!! “

My grin widens as I click my blue pen, which I carry around for autographs ( oh, the pains of being famous ), and hurriedly sign my name on her collared shirt. It was a fairly pretty garment, I’ll admit, but at this moment I didn’t really care, and I’m sure neither did she, judging by the way she squealed excitedly and took a spam of what had to be a million-and-one selfies with it.

I finally find a place among the jumping people at the front, taking in the atmosphere. The lights dim, and brighter white ones turn on in their place.

The show is about to start.

—

IWA

“ Hey, everyone. I— “ The mic whines with feedback. I wince, wrapping my free hand around it and trying again.

“ I’m—I’m opening with a song that’s very dear to me. I wrote it way back in highschool, but it’s always stuck with me, kinda like a safety net...of sorts. I uh, hope you enjoy. “

Shit, why am I being so damn awkward? I’ve never been this awkward before a show. Maybe it’s because of that damn opening song. Oh well. Too late to back out now.

Irritated, I push the thought away, wetting my lips as the drowning claps and whoops from the crowd cheer me on. My hand hovers just over the strings. It’s shaking. No matter. I close my eyes, and imagine him holding them. Him encompassing my hands within the warmth of his, just like he did all those years, which were now lost in the past. Him looking at me, him telling me it’s okay. Him.

I breathe all my nerves out.

Him.

And I begin to play.

The awkwardness melts away almost instantaneously as I pour every dripping ounce of my heart out into the song, the music swelling wildly with every emotion I had forced in for the dreariness of these five years. My eyes shoot open when the chorus hits. I feel like I’m king of the world.

I catch a familiar set of eyes. Richly brown. Deep.

Oh shit.

My breath hitches when I realize who they belong to; Him. His. He-

No, no, it couldn’t be. Could it?

It felt too real, as if I’ve somehow managed to reduce his very existence to nothing but romanticized self indulgent daydreams of what we once had, woven into the vast vagueness of song lyrics with a naïve hope of what could’ve been. And now here he was, at my concert of all places, for god knows what reason. The colourful lights fell upon his face in the most flattering manner, though admittedly I suppose anything would be flattering on him either way. But under this light especially, at my concert, he looked nothing short of perfect. Of lovely.

But of course he was. This was Oikawa-fucking-Tooru, after all.

The chorus hits with a sharp accent. I belt with all that I am, for the boy who took a rough sketch of a dream and made it reality, for the boy who found an unmatched sense of home among those of his highschool volleyball team, for the boy who wound up so foolishly falling in love with his best friend. For him, for my fans, but most of all, for me.

“ But when he loves me, I feel like I’m floating, when he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody— “

I maintain eye contact with him. It’s scary, burning holes into my tattered soul, which I had pieced together so carefully with cathartic lyrics scratched into the pages of creased notebooks. I’m secretly scared that his gaze will somehow break it all down again. But that’s when I finally understand; it’s him. This, this song, it’s about him. It’s always been about him. There will be no one else, could be no one else for me. That...sheer elation, the unfiltered emotion which sparked this song to begin with—I understood now. That was love. More specifically, love which my chest held for Oikawa. It’s as if I’ve been harshly disillusioned to see what I’d been unconsciously denying all these years, seeing him here. It’s always been Oikawa. How could I not have known? After all, I’m constantly recalling the day he held me in a tight embrace after one of our best matches, happy tears staining my damp jersey as he whispered in my ear the praise I’ve subconsciously always wished to hear.

“ You did good. “

Though it seems painfully mundane, simple to anyone else, it was...different, coming from his lips, hearing it in his voice. I took that compliment and kept it close to me for all eternity, immortalizing it within the varying notes of this song. I stare right back at him with a newfound fervour, an unknown intent, a epiphanic strength.

“ Even when we fade eventually to nothing, you will always be my favourite form of lovely. “

His eyes widen.

—

OIKAWA

My heart clenches as Iwa freely powers through the rest of the song. But during this moment, it feels as though it was created solely for us. As if the universe, as if fate itself had decided that despite the harshness of this world, and every little force fighting to keep us apart, this one moment, if anything, was ours. Truly ours. Our song, our moment. Ours. Time suspended itself indefinitely as the onyx hearth of his gaze finally met with mine. Unexpectedly enough, it stayed there.

And everything fell into place.

The song didn’t take me to a paradise without tears, or pain, or sorrow anymore. It took me to a place with Iwa in it. I realize now that...I want the tears. I want the pain. I want the grief. I want the good and the bad and the light and the dark, so long as I can have Iwa there with me through it all. I want him. All of him. I’ve want to love him enough to love his “ unglam “ moments and his admirable aspects all the same. I want to be there with him through every body-wrecking tear, every hearty laugh, and every glimmer of happiness. I want to be able to see the face he makes during a scary movie, to open an umbrella for him during the rain. I want to see the sunlight glow upon his cheek, I want to count the stars with him until I fall asleep. I want everything about him, for to me, he is everything. And it’s this song...this damned song which brought it all back.

It was ours. And I realize now...it was about...me. I mean, I’ll admit that I’ve always been a little more on the conceited side, but how could you deny it? It had to be. It had to. Had to. I wanted it to, at least. I wanted it to be about me so desperately, it sent a cold pain through my chest. A single, lonely tear falls down my cheek as the crowd around me erupts into a sea of laughter and off-tune singing from the audience.

What if it wasn’t? I mean, you guys broke up. You told him you moved on. Yes, it was a lie to lessen the pain, but he didn’t know that. What if it was about someone else completely and you’d just been an idiot this whole time? What if—

The concert comes to a close much faster than I thought it would, much faster than I would’ve ever wished for it to. I don’t know what I’m doing, what I’m thinking, but my legs move before I even have a chance to question them. I’ve always been one to think before acting, hence why I’m such a star on the court, but this time, my emotions seem to be taking over. I don’t know what’s come over me, what this unusual, hot feeling is. It’s exciting and intimidating all at once, and I hate it because I know what it must be. In a hot flash, I find myself standing at the door of Iwa’s changing room. How many bodyguards I must have recklessly shoved out of the way to get here in the blur of adrenaline, I don’t even want to begin to think about.

My hand freezes over the door. “ Iwa “ is engraved in bold gold letters with a deeply-etched star sticking out at the bottom. Taking a deep breath, I knock frantically.

“ I-Iwa-chan? It’s uh...it’s Oikawa. “

—

IWA

I pause in the midst of buttoning up my shirt. A solid three are left undone. But his voice...how could I ignore it? Ignore him? I haven’t heard his voice in what feels like eternity, but I’d be kidding myself if I had said I’d forgotten it. The constant yearning was always so irritating. Such a pain. At least it made for decent music, I mean, I’ve been booking shows. But alas, one problem before another.

“ O-Oikawa? “ I slowly pace to the doorknob as I twist it open.

Holy shit.

It is him after all. He hasn’t changed a bit. He remains the charming, handsome man I remember him to be, even after all this time has passed.

“ How’d you get—why are you here? “

“ Iwa, there’s...there’s just...there’s something I need to ask. “

“ Huh? “

“ That song...our song.... “

“ Shit, right! I, uh...sorry. I didn’t ask you about it because I honestly didn’t expect you to show up at all. It’s been what, five years? “ I stumble subtly over my words, rubbing the back of my neck.

He turns away sheepishly. Almost...longingly, even.

“ Yeah...it has. “

He clicks his tongue.

“ Who, uh...who was that song about? The curiosity’s been eating at me. “

A heat rises to my cheeks. A pause.

“ I—It—Ugh, fuck it. “

I’ve never been the best at talking directly to Oikawa, not since I realized that what I felt for him extended to something past the bounds of friendship. So I decided to do the only thing I knew to do in that moment—show him instead.

My lips crash against his as he slams the door behind him. The palpable tension between us is shattered immediately, and everything is faded out into insignificance. All that matters is the man in my arms, the man I’d been longing so desperately, so hopelessly for all this fucking time. I kiss him against the smoothness of the door, hands immediately trailing to his soft locks. I twirl and twine them as I see flashes, bright hues of heaven itself. His lips upon mine are the most perfect fit. His touch is painfully intoxicating, and I show him, wordlessly, with an unparalleled fervour—just who the song was about. He melts into it, matching my energy with a foreign sense of passion.

—

OIKAWA

“ Do you think...the universe is gonna try to separate us again? “ I ask softly, voice barely even a whisper. Tears wet my lashes at the very thought of being without him again. For those five years, though I was living my dream...it didn’t feel complete. Not without him. I blink them away aggressively, focusing on the night sky above us. My head is resting in his lap, and we’re simply...existing together beneath the curtain of darkened pools which hung above our twined bodies.

Iwa strokes my hair nonchalantly as he interlocks his fingers with mine. “ Of course. It always will. But we found each other didn’t we? And even after...even after this life has passed and we’re reduced to nothing but ash, I’m convinced we’ll meet again. One way or another. “

He tucks a straying tuft of hair from brushing my lashes.

“ Even then...even then you’ll still be my favourite form of lovely. Or whatever. “ He scoffs at his own over-poetic response, looking away with a tiny smirk.

“ Okay, Mr. Songwriter! “ I tease, nudging his side in a playful manner.

He rolls his eyes, bending down to kiss me once more.

For the first time in a long time, I feel complete. I’m on cloud 9.

[guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom]

Hell and Back Pt. 2

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader 

Peter Parker x villain!reader 

Warnings: Language, hospital mentions, mentions of drug abuse, allusions to suicide, allusion to self harm, self deprecating thoughts, a gun, mentions of knives, mentions of the dead, anxiety, signs of abuse, abusive and toxic relationships, and fainting.

Word Count: 6.1k 

Songs: Pleaser-Wallows, 505-Artic Monkeys, Sweater Weather- The Neighborhood, Daddy Issues- The Neighborhood, Paper Planes- M.I.A, We come running- Youngblood Hawke, Young dumb and broke- Khalid, Do I wanna know- Artic Monkeys, Break the Rules- Charli XCX

“I smiled, I know as much as we get into petty arguments or try to annoy each other on purpose but I’d go to hell and back for those girls. And that’s exactly what I was going to do.” 

A/N: There might be some typos and grammatical errors sorry for those, I you want to be added to the Taglist just message me about or comment it. I’ll have a google form for it soon. 

Series Masterlist   Previous Part   Next Part

When I saw my little sisters, that all went away. Sure I still called them a lot but nothing could compare to actually seeing them in person. Sapphire launched herself into my arms and I stumbled back a bit.

“I missed you too,” I said.

I hugged Aaliyah too. When I entered the apartment I heard voices. My dad’s and some feminine voice. 

I walked in to find some woman who couldn't be older than 25 in my kitchen. Talking and laughing with my dad. I didn’t want to assume anything or start a scene so I just went into my room to catch up with my sisters. 

We were talking about some kid who gave me a DMT pen once and I was tripping balls which I probably shouldn’t be talking about, but I want them to feel comfortable enough to come to me. Makes it easier to keep them safe. 

Our dad opened the door and hung in the doorway.

“Hey… Y/N do you mind coming here for a sec?”

“Yeah sure…” 

I stepped out of the room. 

“Is something wrong?” It wasn’t often that he initiated a conversation that would end positively.

“No,no, not at all, I just want you to meet someone,” 

When I entered the kitchen the same woman from before was still there. My dad walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. 

“This is my girlfriend, Camilla” 

I knew it . I knew it! I was trying not to be hostile toward her every problem I had was towards my dad so I smiled and waved to her.

“Camilla this is Y/N,” he pointed to me. 

“Well I’ll let y’all get acquainted,” He said before leaving the room.

I sat on the kitchen island and waited for her to say something first. 

“Look, I would just like to put it out there that I’m not trying to replace your mom in anyway.”

“Thanks I appreciate it,” 

“Also, are you okay now?” She asked in a low voice.

“Huh?” I questioned.

“Your dad said you ran away,” Of course he did “and I saw the news with your school at the Washington Monument.” So I guess she knew more about me then expected. Not surprised she was the one to ask me and not my so called dad.  

“Thanks for your concern but I’m fine, and sorry to cut this conversation short but I’m drained.” 

“Oh, okay, have a nice night,” 

“You, too,” 

I didn’t have time to think about anything. I just made it back to my room and face planted onto my bed. My whole being was sore including my brain. I didn’t have the energy to change my clothes, to shower, to think about my dad being a pathological liar or anything else that happened today.

I was awoken by my dad. I didn't know how long I slept but the sun was out. I can’t remember the last time I was able to sleep while the sun was up. 

“Hey we’re going out, for family bonding and I want you there with us,”

Family.

We ain’t ever been a family before why start now. Is what I really wanted to say but I sucked it up because again I hadn’t seen my sisters in a while. 

The movie was really boring. If we’re being honest. 

I pulled Aaliyah and Sapphire aside as my dad and Camilla were deep in conversation. 

“You know how I was staying at Wade’s house right?” 

They both nodded.

“What did dad tell you about this,” 

Sapphire just shrugged and Aaliyah was the one to post.

“I dunno he didn’t say much like usual he just kinda said you just left,” 

I felt my jaw tightening as I processed her words, my fist clenching by my side. 

“Oh, oh okay,” I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth a couple times “Well I just want you to know I’d never leave y’all without a very good reason, and I never won’t come back,” 

By the time we got back to the house it was around twelve since we watched another movie and went to a restaurant. Then got ice cream. This is the most money my dad could’ve possibly spent on me in a long time. I mean he didn’t because I didn’t get anything and bought my own ticket. I didn’t want him to be able to use the fact he bought me stuff against me. I’d gotten tired of the “after I’ll I’ve done for you,” excuse. 

I couldn’t sleep. No matter what I tried I couldn’t sleep. I tried NyQuil, melatonin, and even tea. The tea really did more harm than good. 

This was an extremely stupid thing to do so don’t follow my lead but I was bored. 

I grabbed a lot of useless shit from the floor of my room and made my way to the roof. I poured hand sanitizer on it and set it on fire. Putting aside the fact that it was really weird the fire was oddly beautiful. I sat there watching it for a minute before stomping it out. 

I was going to text my friend Carmen but I realized she was supposed to be asleep and I didn’t want to get her in trouble. 

I ended up scrolling through Zillow for a while then that turned into me applying for like four jobs. In which turned into me making spamming multiple friends saying we needed to hang out.

While I was on Zillow there was a relatively cheap apartment in Queens. Which was close to my school. It kept drawing me in for some reason. I bookmarked the tab.

Before I knew it the sun was up. I figured if I couldn’t sleep I would go on a walk to the park. 

When I got back to the complex everyone was still asleep except my dad who walked outside like he was waiting on me. He grabbed my arm, squeezing it tightly. 

He basically told me I looked like a prostitute. I was running so my sports bra and leggings were actually pretty appropriate. He said that I was probably going out to fuck people and that’s where I always was. I opened my mouth to defend myself.

“Actually I was just going to the-“ I was cut off by a sharp sting on my cheek. 

He fucking slapped me. Hard at that. He then grabbed my arm even tighter than before dragging me into the house.

 I don’t know what hurt worse my face or that fact that I wouldn’t be able to blame him being drunk on all the times he’d hit me before. He was just an ass.

  By the time I made it back to my room it felt like my body was burning itself from the inside out. My face was red and so was my arm from my elbow to almost my wrist. To try to cool myself down I took a cold shower and took some Tylenol. 

I still couldn’t sleep but tonight it was because it was so hot. I really needed a fan in my room. It was already 6 so I just decided to get a head start at the school. Not without taking pictures of my bruises before covering them with green concealer and foundation. I wore a hoodie for good measure. 

I felt dizzy and decided it was probably best not to skate at the moment and I’m 90% sure I fell asleep on the subway.  Apparently we had an art project due which I had no idea existed in the first place so I wasn’t going to that class today. Even though I did truly love Ms. Kramer. I was just gonna skip and go to Bri’s class. Which just happened to be chemistry. 

I wasn’t surprised Mr. Cobwell asked no question when I walked in. I ate lunch in his class a couple times, he was chill. He continued on talking about Quantum Theory. 

I made Flash move from his seat next to Bri which he immediately did. I guess he was scared of me now. 

“Hey,” I said, placing my non bruised side of my face on the desk.

“Hey,” She whispered back. “What class are you supposed to be in?” 

“Art,” 

“Why are you there? You love art,” 

“I’m not feeling it today,” 

“Alright,” she nodded.

“Lemme use your AirPods,” 

She reached into her bag handing them over going back to taking notes. That didn’t last long.

“What ya watching?” She asked.

“Bad Girls Club,” I smiled knowing she liked this show. 

“What season?” 

“7,” I whispered because now I felt too weak to waste my energy on speaking. I placed the phone on my lap and she took the other AirPod and before I knew I class was over with Tasha throwing trash everywhere.

I figured I was feeling sick because my blood sugar was low or something so I drank some Apple juice at lunch and called it a day.

Now time for Physics. I hate physics. Why would science ever require so much math? 

It was so hot. Like on the face of the sun, hot but I couldn’t take my hoodie off because I felt like I’d sweat my foundation off. 

“Are you okay?” Peter asked me “You look pale,” I swear if he doesn’t learn to mind his business.

“I’m fine,” I told him, not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself, I gestured to his notebook. “Do your work,” 

“Alright fine,” he said reluctantly, glancing at me once before getting back to writing whatever we were supposed to be doing down.

 I pulled my hoodie back over my head and sat up in my seat about to try to do my work again. But it was so hot and I was so dizzy that I couldn’t focus.

The world began to swirl and I knew the switch in my brain was going to flip off. I just didn’t have time or enough energy to tell anyone. 

When I woke up I was in a bed in the nurse's office and the first thing I noticed was I didn’t have my hoodie. Shit. I used to make fun of people for passing out because how does your own body clock out on you? Until it started happening to me like last year. 

I went into the bathroom and sure enough the giant bruise on my cheek and arm were kinda visible. 

Again shit.

I patted my forehead with a cold paper towel because the nurse’s bathroom actually had paper towels unlike all the others, before the nurse came back. 

“Hello, Are you feeling okay?” 

I nodded. She smiled down at me before giving me water and checking my temperature. 

“You have a fever,” she said after looking down at the thermometer “We called dad to come and pick you up but we got no answer. Is there anyone else that can come and take you?” 

I shook my head, not trusting my voice. 

I drank some more of the water before speaking up. 

“I have a friend who’s at this school she could maybe drop me off?” 

“I’m not sure if that’s allowed,” she said. 

“You know what? Go back to class, get your friend and come right back.”

I pushed off the bed and headed out of the nurses office surprised to find Peter sitting on the bench outside it. 

“Are you okay?” He asked me again 

“Yes I’m okay” I nodded. Apparently I wasn’t as okay as I thought because I almost tripped over my leg trying to move. But Peter immediately reached his hand out to stabilize me. And I don’t know why that made me as angry as it was but I said “I don’t need you to help,” harsher than I need to. 

“Sorry,” I said calmly almost immediately after. 

“It’s okay,” He said scratching the back of his neck.

“If you don’t mind me asking where’d these bruises come from,” 

“I fell,” was all I said. He looked skeptical but that was all he was going to get, I didn’t need CPS all up in my business. That’s also payback for him lying to me about “cat scratches”. 

“Can you do me a favor?” I asked.

“Yeah, anything,” he said. 

“Can you go get Briana from Mr. Dell’s class for me?” 

“Yeah I’ll be right back,” he said before sprinting down the hallway. I giggled at his giddiness. It was still extremely hot everywhere my body was tingling. 

Bri ran towards me 

“Oh my god are you okay,” 

“I’m fine, I just need you to talk to the nurse with me real quick,” 

She apparently didn’t have her car with her today so she was a no go. 

“I’m sorry girl,” she said, pulling me into a hug. 

“It’s okay, go back to class now,” I said.

“Alright feel better,”

I walked back out of the office to find none other than Peter still waiting there.

“So what happened?” He asked.

“Looks like I’m walking home,” I smiled sarcastically. “Yay,”

“I can walk you home,”

“No, thank you” 

“I insist,” I laughed again 

“I still think that word is funny,” I said.

“Okay, now let me walk you home,” 

We were walking in no general direction. No one but MJ and Bri know my address and  I’d like  to keep it that way. 

“Wait, you need food,” He claimed.

We ended up at this place called Delmar’s Deli. I’d passed it a couple times while walking home and during my less legal “hobby”. I really wasn’t hungry at all. I took all of like two bites from my sandwich claiming I’d take it to go before throwing it away. It wasn’t bad, it was quite good, actually I just wasn’t hungry. 

“My aunt is a nurse at an emergency room, she can check you out,” I hate anything that's anything like a hospital at all brings terrible memories, but I didn’t want him to know where I lived so I agreed. I’d ditch him then.  

It took us a while to get there but by the time we did I had to stop and catch my breath. He offered to walk me home and got me food. What a Spiderman thing to do. I’d say I had much solid proof to go on by now.  

“Peter!” The gorgeous brunette woman came over to the waiting room “What are you doing here don’t you have school?” 

“Yeah but my friend-“ When her eyes ghosted over to my face she cut herself off. “Oh my God are you okay,” she referred to my bruises “What happened to you?” 

“Did Flash do this to her?” She asked Peter and I had to stifle a laugh at that. I wish he would try to lay a finger on me. 

“No, she just told me she fell, we’re here cause she fainted and I don’t know if the school nurse is very capable of actually helping,” 

Is this a new thing Peter just decides to randomly worry about me for no good reason and forces me into taking care of myself. Because I hate it. 

“Oh, ok,” She nodded her head. “Grab one of those questionnaires over there,” She pointed to the sign in table. “Are your parents going to come too?” She asked and I shook my head. 

She and Peter moved over to the side and started talking about something I had no interest in. I grabbed the questionnaire and sat on the edge of the closest seat.  

1. What’s your age?

That’s easy 15.

2. Specify your race 

African American of course.

3. Select your highest level of education

Some high school

4. What’s your marital status? 

Single never married. Unless you count that un-ordained wedding I once had.

5. Specify your employment status

A student. 

6. Have you ever been treated in an emergency room (specify age)? 

Yes, as a child. 

7. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital? If yes, do you remember why?

Okay wow. Yes. 

I sat on the cold bathroom floor, vision blurry from tears forming in my eyes. 

“Y/N, you okay in there?” I heard my brother ask after lightly rapping his fingers on the door. 

“Yeah, I’m okay!” 

No I wasn’t. I wasn’t okay at all. In fact I was the farthest thing from okay. I glanced down at my thighs, you could see cuts from the night before and scars peeking out from underneath my shorts. I was sobbing at this point. 

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure if it was for myself or to everyone I knew I’d hurt by this. I already had the headache. I was just waiting for the rest of the pills to kick in. 

I was holding onto the sink for support when the left side of my body started to feel tingly. The whole situation felt hazy. I was shaking hard before I fell, taking almost everything on the sink with me. 

My head hit the bathmat and I could feel my heart slowing and hear my breath become shallow. I heard the doorknob jingle and that was the last thing before a feeling of true bliss and peace took over my body. 

I could hear screams and sirens and I knew I was in an ambulance. Slowly I awoke with wires all over my body and an IV in my wrist. My limbs were dead weight, I couldn’t move. 

A single tear fell from my eye alerting me off my surroundings. I quickly came back to myself. I made up the excuse of a family emergency and left.

I ended up halfway across the city. Then in Brooklyn visiting a friend. 

I knocked on the window of Aaron’s apartment. I could see Miles sitting on the couch.

“How’ve things been over here?” I asked once I was settled on the couch as well. 

“Uh, pretty tame, and you?” 

“There was that whole elevator stunt and I almost fucking died which was fun.” 

“Forgot you never take anything seriously,” He rolled his eyes. 

I laughed in response “Well one of us has got to be fun for us since it’s clearly not you,” 

“In celebration of me not dying I’m making sundaes,” 

“Alright,” He said leaning back on the couch. 

“Hey uh, When’s Aaron coming back?” I asked, getting the whipped cream out of the fridge.

“I’m not sure,” 

This is actually like really fucking dangerous. Like it could kill me. It’s just I was already in pain and had a headache. I also wasn’t thinking. I’d already made the sundaes. I turned around so Miles couldn’t see what I was doing before I- Okay I’m not going to do this. Get it together God you’re acting like an addict. The amount of people who’ve died from inhalants were insane. There it is again death. 

“Drawn anything new lately?” I asked, wanting to get my mind off of the topic of death that seemed to be plaguing my brain lately.  

“Some small sketches,”

I got the text that’d I been waiting for. I’d been talking to Aaron for the past few days. I’m not sure how Miles would feel about that. So I haven’t said anything. 

But I got the text. 

Staten Island Ferry 3pm

I immediately popped up from the couch.

“I have to go like right now, it’s an emergency,” 

I sprinted towards the door almost running into the punching bag in front of me. 

“Y/N-“ 

It’d been a week and things were looking up. I had a great day yesterday without the use of any drug. But nothing good ever lasts too long. I didn’t have to worry about that now. What I needed to worry about, was getting Peter to stop falling on his ass. 

I tried not to laugh at him and failed. 

“It’s not funny,” he said, pulling me down with him as I reached out to pull him up. Soon he was laughing too. 

I felt a vibration in my pocket and saw that Aaron texted me. 

hey the results from the search came in.

what???? don’t play with me I’m on my way right now. 

“Uh hey I gotta go sorry,” 

“No it’s fine I probably should get home too,” He pushed off the ground reaching down for me. 

“Do you wanna do this again tomorrow?” He asked a hopeful glint in his eye once we were both on our feet.

“Yeah sounds nice,” I smiled.

“Okay,” He nodded.

“Okay,” I echoed heading off. 

Ned was being fucking stupid.

“NO!” I slammed my hands down on the table “You don’t stab anyone especially if you plan on using bleach to clean up the blood. At least use vinegar and lemon,”

“Okay, jeez,” he said reeling back, “How would you do it then?” 

Before I could say anything MJ spoke up

“You could just use a needle full of air in between their toes, Their heart would fail” 

“Orrr,” I said spinning around on top of the table towards Ned. “You could overdose them on potassium and by the time the police get there the potassium in their blood is back at a normal level,” 

“Yeah that works too,” MJ stated going back to whatever she was drawing.

“You guys scare me,” Ned muttered making me smile. 

“Where’s Peter?” I asked and Ned pointed across the room. 

There he was sitting by Liz. It was cute I knew about his little crush on her. I’m sure the whole school did. Glad it’s working out for him. However that did not stop the pain in my stomach. 

I got up from the table because suddenly I did not want to be at school anymore. 

“Where are you going?” MJ looked up at me.

I shrugged. In all honesty I had no I idea where I was going. Somehow I always end up at Wade’s house when I don’t know where I want to go. He wasn’t home but I had a key. I can’t remember if he gave it to me or I stole if we're being honest. 

Clearly I hadn’t passed by a mirror in a while because damn. I look terrible. 

My eyes were red and circled with a dark hue from lack of sleep. I still had a yellowing bruise on my cheek. I was pale. I looked to be on the verge of death. 

I looked frail, like at any second I’d just fall apart. 

It was so unfair. My bones dragged down my body. The pieces of my soul that were mined out and removed from my mind. There’s a hole leaving me forever longing and I cannot fill nor feel. Hiraeth, a beautiful word for a ugly feeling. longing for a home that I never truly had, a home in which I’d never return. I would like to drift to where my spirit lies. It’s in the eyes of you and me and everyone in between. Drifting on a small boat in the sea. Viridian. Yes! That's the place I would like to be, that's where my soul lies yes you see.

 I kept punching his punching bag over and over again. Until I was on my back on the floor begging my lungs to allow air into them with Time (Is) by Solange playing on loop. Something put it into my head that I had to kill Vulture. I’d never directly killed anyone but that was gonna change. Having people killed or knowing someone was going to kill someone and not doing anything about isn’t killing anyone in my book, but I’m sure it would be in Spidey’s

That’s literally Liz’s dad though…

Okay maybe I’d just get him locked up. Great now I gotta be a snitch. That’s new. I showered not even caring about my hair now my curls were sticking to my face. I was freezing now though. I didn’t know whether to be glad that my body wasn’t on fire anymore or be upset that I was covered in goosebumps. 

Wade’s laptop was sitting right there on his bed. I was only taking a shower but, I think I should be allowed to watch Netflix and he wouldn’t mind, I was already on his account anways. 

After like 3 episodes into this random show there was a folder that was calling to me for some reason. 

It’d be okay to take a sneak peek. I thought to myself. 

I clicked on it and it was locked. I guessed the password in like three tries. He’s really gotta up his password game. It opened to multiple folders, one with my mom's name. Okay I had to click this then. 

I opened it which opened to more folders one titled ‘In Case of My Death’. 

Okay, okay cool my mother has had a video of what to do all if she died all along. This would’ve come in handy five years ago. 

There were three videos with the names of myself and my sisters. I clicked on mine then paused it. 

Then unpaused it again. 

I couldn’t do it. Okay, yes I could. I played it again. As soon as I heard the beginning of the word “hi”. I shut the computer off. I couldn’t do this. Couldn't do it because I was weak, I couldn’t handle myself. I was stupid and weak and a fucking disappointment. Guess my dad had been right all these years. I knew there was always some truth to the words he spoke only a matter of time until I started acknowledging it. 

I don’t remember coming home to the apartment. And I definitely don’t remember writing all over the walls of my dad’s room. But I had a marker in my hands and it looked like a toddler had gone to town. 

Holy Shit 

He was actually going to murder me, in cold fucking blood.  I trashed, the living room area, his room, and then mine. I was not coming home tonight. Looks like I’d need to find a new home now. At this point that sounded like a pretty solid plan. 

I text my sisters a quick text ‘stay at grandma’s house tonight dad is going to pissed like Super Sayian mode’ before grabbing my go-bag which was: a bag of the essentials, like hygiene a couple shirts, shorts, hoodies, pants, and of course the flash drive can't forget the flash drive. 

The flash drive that’s driving me crazy. I’d yet to open it though.  I knew I was crazy because I did all this while fucking sobbing.

I wandered around for hours. Making my way to Brooklyn, Manhattan, Harlem, AND actual New York City.  

Somehow I still ended up at Olivia’s door at the end of the day. I honestly believe we were soulmates. Most people don’t know you get many soulmates in a lifetime. I think Olivia and I would be the karmic kind. A karmic relationship is meant to help you grow, but it is never meant to last—it's often playing out a bad experience from a past life. I’m guessing I hadn’t grown yet because here I was.

She opened the door after a second. I’m surprised she did because I used our special knock so I knew she knew it was me. 

“I can’t fucking do this anymore,” I screamed in her face. 

“You're the one going off and being secretive and shit, like you’re scared I’m gonna hurt you or something,” she yelled walking up the stairs. 

I followed after her, 

“Maybe you would hurt me. I don’t know you are insane,” I said, tears brimming my eyes. 

“Just because you have fucking daddy issues, doesn’t mean you have to carrying them into every part of your life,” 

“I have daddy issues?” I screamed soon turning into me choking on a laugh making an unhinged noise “Oh, I have fucking daddy issues, now? Oh, okay,” I nodded. 

“Your parents didn’t even fucking want you,” I pointed at her. “At least my mom stuck around before she died,” 

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” 

“Yeah well right back at you,” 

“You’re fucking psychotic! Literally you’re so much like your dad and you don’t even know it, You’re trying to please him and he doesn’t give two shits about you, Wake up Y/N! Wake up.” 

“I’m hard on you because I love you so much,” She claimed, but her love was suffocating. 

“Oh yeah? I asked “Well i don’t know how much more of this ’love’ I can take,” 

“Fine then,” She screamed. 

“Fine,” I said before she slammed the door in my face leaving me standing out in the cold crying. 

That wasn’t even the worse we’d said to each other. It was the first but not the last time we’d break up either. I do believe we loved each other though in our own twisted way. Well at least I know I loved her. 

“Hey,” She said softly as she could sense I was due to break at any second. My cheeks were probably tear stained. 

“Hey,” I whispered back. 

“Are you okay?” She asked. 

“No,” I shook my head. One thing I liked about her is I didn’t have to fake it around her, because masking my real emotions was so draining. At least I didn’t have to do it with everyone. 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

“No,” 

“Okay,” she said softly “My parents aren’t home, so you don’t have to worry about them,” not surprised. 

I nodded before she grabbed my hand bringing me inside.

“I missed you,” she said stroking my hair as I laid on her bed, my head in her lap. 

“I missed you too,” I wasn’t lying my head drifted to her from time to time. It wasn’t that I wanted to get back together I just missed her presence.  

She smiled sadly at me running her finger over the bags on my eyes. 

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” She quotes.

“Yeah well, ’m not queen or princess and definitely don’t have a crown, so we don’t gotta worry ‘bout me,” I said. 

“You’re a princess to me,” I gave a genuine yet tired smile at that.

“You can go to sleep, it’s okay,” She said.

That was the first time I was actually able to fall asleep and without medicine or having to go on a walk or do anything really. 

I woke up in the bed alone only to find Olivia sitting at her kitchen island eating spaghetti. 

She smiled when she saw me coming into view. 

“Sleep well?” She asked.

“Yeah surprisingly,” How long had I been asleep for I wondered.

“It’s 10 pm,” She said, still being able to read me. 

I made my way over to her and sat across her.

“So what’s really going on with you miss Y/N?” She questioned. 

I shrugged “I don’t know, nothing,”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself? Cause I’m not buying,” 

I explained to her how my dad was being weird and how I wanted to move out now. How I had pretty much vandalized the house. How I found the video of my mom. Just everything. Well maybe not everything I didn’t tell her about Vulture because I feel like she’d try to do something and I didn’t want her to get hurt. 

“Oh wow, damn... holy shit. Are you gonna watch your moms video?” She asked. Huh I hadn’t thought about that.

“I mean of course I will, yeah,” I nodded “Probably, I don’t know I’m scared,”  

“Wouldn’t you rather just push the fear back and watch then wonder the rest of your life what it says.” 

I sighed. Can't argue with that logic.

“I’m assuming you came here because you need a place to stay?” She said. 

“Yes, I need a place to stay just for a while but I don’t want it to seem like I’m just using you I can find somewhere else,” 

“Now it’s fine stay as long as you need but my dad gets back at the end of the month and we both know he doesn’t like you,” She chuckled at the last sentence and I laughed too. 

I was on the ferry heading towards Staten Island now. I knew the sale was for these weird alien shits but that's pretty much all I knew. I figured I’d sort of “out bid” the buyers then get rid of everything. By outbid I mean straight up steal. Some guy in a white pickup truck is officially my target. Thorn was still on hiatus. Meaning no knives unless you count the pocket knife I always had on me, no suit. I did have a trejo though, you know just in case. I couldn’t help my mind from drifting to Pop Smoke’s “I got it on me”. I let out a small laugh.  

I was hiding behind some car waiting for a crack in the plan to slip in. 

That was until Spiderman showed up. It’s like he had a sixth sense to ruin all of my plans. 

Shit 

Well abort mission. Just as I started walking around to get to the side of the boat. The van I was next to had Vulture literally coming out of it. I knew it’d looked familiar. 

I made it up to the top deck looking down on everything unfolding. So a quick rundown,  the FBI was here, meaning Tony Stark or someone with government clearance probably did something because I highly doubt that Spiderman, the Spiderman that I’ve seen hit a window like a bird while swinging, had any government clearance. 

See now I was looking to find a good time to make my escape. That was until that purple alien shit started spewing stuff beams of light through the ship. And fuck, I look away for one second and the new Shocker guy was gone. I turned around and saw he was running in another direction. I chased after him the rubber of my sneakers squeaking on the deck. 

I jumped down onto Shocker’s back sending us both to the floor before he pushed me off. I was definitely going to be sore tomorrow and I’m pretty sure I heard something pull in my leg. 

He jumped off onto the Vulture and I knew I couldn’t do anything anymore. Not like I was just going to shoot them down in public. I saw the light shooting down the middle of the ferry. I was gonna make a run for it but the loud squeal noise was so loud I fell over. Soon I was slung back into what I think was a bench not entirely sure I just knew it hurt like a bitch. 

I’m pretty sure I feel unconscious for like 30 seconds. 

But that was enough because the boat had already split in half and I couldn’t get to the deck or a lifeboat. However Spider-Man was frantically trying to get it together. 

I was trying to be hopeful because everything was looking up, as the parts of the ship got closer together but I think we all know the saying ‘what goes up must come down’ 

Over the ringing in my head I could assume that things were fixed because people were cheering. One thing that comes from cheering is movement and if I learned anything from the elevator it’s that moving in a very unstable metal death box is not a good idea. 

The ship was falling apart again until it wasn’t. It was pushed back together by I could only assume would be our government clearance guy Tony Stark. I looked out the window and yep there he was. 

As soon as I got on solid ground I called my sisters.

“Hiii!” I exclaimed. “Where are you, are you okay?” 

“Yes we’re fine, and where at grandma’s house like you told us to go to where else would we be,” I could almost hear the eye roll in Liyah’s voice. 

“Okay little Miss attitude stay there until I can feel everything out with dad,” 

“Alright,” 

“Okay I love you guys,” I said, getting a small “love you too” from Sapphire. 

“I know,” was the response I got from Liyah. I almost gasped the audacity of this child. 

“Say it back,” 

“Say it back,” She mocked, evoking laughter from both sides of the call. 

“Okay love you too byeeee,” She said hanging up. 

I smiled, I know as much as we get into petty arguments or try to annoy each other on purpose but I’d go to hell and back for those girls. And that’s exactly what I was going to do.

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