#i just spend an hour on this. first thing i actually am able to focus on without getting distracted | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ineedjesusverymuch · 9 days

Text

Diabolik lovers headcanons pt. 4

Hi! After that huge response my other post got, I decided to write more/be more active on here. I really enjoy writing my thoughts on just about anything regarding dl out and it makes me happy that so many people liked my post!

Although that big of a response was quite a shock. Seemed that I did not, in fact, yell into the void that time :).

Though I am not sure if that post did anything different, I'll continue posting on here no matter how big the response is. If I can make even one person happy with those posts, (including me) I'll keep on writing those silly headcanons of vampires that do not exist. :)

I am going to focus more on the mukamis and Yui in this post since the last one was almost only the Sakamakis.

⚠anything triggering will be marked like this: ❗trigger❗

⚠I am going to briefly discuss childhood trauma and depression.

As always, I'll try to stay at least a little bit true to the source material.

Asks are always appreciated!

This time, I rambled quite a bit about Azusa ':)

headcanons under the cut⬇

Firstly, Yui. Our dear heroine who deserves just about everything!

Really good at dancing those old, classical ballroom dances. She had a few lessons by Ayato (who spent the entire time giving his best not stomping on Yui's feet) and Reiji (whose lesson was the most horrifying experience she had ever had)

After those lessons, she refined her skills. Ayato is quite a good dancer, so she had someone to practice with.

Her best dances are waltz and rumba

Ayato is literally not physically able to stop watching her when dancing together. Never has he seen someone that beautiful (I stand by Ayato being totally besottet by Yui)

Her style is so coquetteish, old fairy tale princess, etherial soul, cottage core - genuinely dresses like a pinterest board

Really fcking pretty??? I don't get why the boys humble her all the time

Immune to pretty boys/play boys. She has seen it all.

really adores bunnies. Lionheads? She'd like a dozen of them.

Had at one point a guinea pig. It died and her father buried it and told her that a fairy had taken it to be her loyal companion. Yui believed it until she was like 16 years.

Her hair has those light curls and feels like the softest thing ever

The clasp in her hair is not the only flowery hair adornment she has, Yui loves to wear different clasps on special occasions

Definitely got gifted a hair pin with rose details from Subaru at one point

Best friends with Subaru. They like to spend quality time caring for his flowers and Yui is allowed to brush his hair on tare occasions.

Shu tried to teach her the violin once and she was horrible at it (but flute was her thing)

Has those shirts with horribly kitsch prints on them but no one says anything to her because she loves them so much

She has thought a lot about her faith since being with the Sakamakis. Read a lot about her god and the different religions.

Has though about studying theology and psychology in University

collects squishmallows

wears those light perfumes that smell like vanilla and flowers occasionally

Everyone turns their head when they first see Yui

Etherial beauty

Smells like vanilla. It's because she uses those body lotions and a lightly scented hair mist

Ayato goes mad at the smell

Ayato genuinely loves Yui. Just her, living her life. He adores her.

Also; Ayato is a himbo.

Dumb and dumber duo

Subaru teaches her material art as defense for anything coming at her

Natural at fighting

Decked Ayato in the face once as he materialized out of thin air behind her

Knocked him unconscious

Laito laughed for literal hours at the though of Ayato getting knocked out by Yui

Her dream is living in peace with eveyone she loves

Had an actual talk with Ayato at some point. They are a healthy couple now (No, I do not care about the canon. They're in love your highness)

Goes to therapy. She decided to after nightmares regarding her early days with the boys

Also, scared that Cordelia will come back at one point and take her body over completely

Yui is the nicest person ever

Will talk with you about everything you'd like

Gentle soul.

Gives great hugs?? Knows how to comfort someone who's feeling bad

She's not only good at baking but also at making those highly decorated cakes and cupcakes. Kanato begs her for themed cupcakes as soon as autumn starts and Halloween decorations appear

next, Ruki.

Eats way too much dark chocolate

We're talking about two entire bars minimum a day

Coffee junkie

Has a disproportionately large consume of anything caffeinated

Wears the same crusty, dry eyeliner since 1990

Refuses to buy a new one since "the old one still works" (it does not)

flirts with Reiji. Its so obvious that even Yuma has realized it

(Reiji is oblivious to it)

Academically speaking, really good at the natural sciences.

Fcking sucks at english though

Studies quite a lot, Ruki despises being on the same level as Reiji

Bad loser

Will be sulky after losing a game of Uno

Definitely cheats at card games

Really good at annoying Reiji. It's such a high level of annoying, he could give courses on the matter

Really good older brother

Checks on the other Mukami brothers when Ruki sees them struggeling with their pasts

Will check in every night if Azusa or Kou are plagued by nightmares

Has nightmares about the orphanage

❗sometimes wakes up scared that his brothers are actually dead and can only calm down after checking that each one is still alive

❗Definitely scared of anything happening to his brothers, he has panic attacks just thinking about that night

reads self help books

Has at least one "how to raise unruly children" book on his shelves

Culinary mastermind

But also makes the weirdest combinations of foods? Why would anyone like to taste jam with cucumbers and pepper????

now, Kou

Likes those really creepy stuffed toys

really good at drawing winged eyeliner

Has worn pink mascara and it looked so fcking good???

Hugest crush on Subaru

Flirts with him but the dear boy does not recognize romantic affection even when it slaps him in the face

Almost fainted riding the first time on Subaru's motorcycle

The scariest thing since really long

Wears really dangly, long earrings

With the weirdest motifs

Has one pair that has clams that can open. The pearls inside them glow in the dark.

his stomach is a bottomless pit. The first time he came over to spend a night at the Sakamaki's, Reiji was genuinely afraid that they had nit enough food to last to breakfast

Laito and he binged the Kardashians

Loves gossip. Knows everything about everyone

Makes rad nail art

Loves styling Azusa. Its their quality time, combined with trying those really spicy crisps

huge energy drink consumer

Helps him trough those sleepless nights were Kou stays up and chats with Laito the whole night through the phone

quite good at learning historical facts

Due to Kou's eye, he can see truths and lies in humans. But he is also really good at deciphering the human psyche.

Doesn't always use his eye. Sometimes, just Kou's knowledge of psychology is enough to recognize lies

There are some headcanons that Kou is italian. I agree with that. I can really image him enjoying the culture and the food. Also, I read a headcanon once that Kou's real name was Emilio. (If someone knows the name of the OP, please tell me)

Now, our vegetable freak: Yuma!

loves scrunchies and hair claw clips

Got one from Kanato once and uses them since

Also, I propose: Yuma with those hair claw clips in butterfly shape. Gifted by Kou as a joke

but now, he always wears them

Kanato braids his hair in really elaborate hair styles. Bridal style vibes. Kou thinks its the funniest thing ever

Shu loves toying with his hair when bored. It's just so soft and smells really good (Yuma uses Kou's shampoo on the regular. It causes quite a lot of fights)

took 1 (one) "Am I Gay" quiz. It came out a hundred percent positive. The next day, he confessed to Shu. They've been together ever since

Feeds the birds on the porch of their house every morning, together with Azusa

Actually really educated about current politics (at least the ones in Romania. But knows quite a lot about the USA and Japan, too)

Will start fights with Ruki about politics during dinner

If you ever want to hear angry romanian yelling, just go to the Mukami house during elections

Cares for every houseplant in their house

Brings at least two new plants per week at home. Ruki is on the brink of forbidding Yuma from accessing his monthly allowance

wears really shitty clothes. I'm talking thousand times stitched together trousers. They look like potatoes sacks but he refuses to get new ones

Has a toolbelt that looks atrocious

He wears it almost every day

The dirtiest shoes known to mankind

So dirty with soil and just about anything you can find in nature

Ruki gets daily aggressions about the spots on their carpet, since Yuma thinks changing shoes just for going inside is stupid

Wears the most amazing eyeliner but it is actually just old as fuck eyeshadow and mascara

He makes it look good

Has the longest lashes known to humankind

Brown skin due to being outside so much

Disneyprincess in secret

loves those huge dogs

now, Azusa!!

jesus that boy can be seductive

No, I wont elaborate

That was a lie, I will elaborate on anything with Azusa. He has the art of subtle flirting refined to mastery

Tried to flirt with Kanato. But Kanato thought he was being made fun of

Great at subtle makeup

Also; great dancer. Especially latin dances such as cha-cha-cha or salsa

He has those hips (breedable, as some folks would say)

Canonically doesn't like peppers

That doesn't apply to stuffed peppers with spices though

Great at remembering faces, not so great at remembering names

Can draw and paint and do art so good????

God of art

Not god of natural sciences though

Is doing alright at school but doesn't like the education system

Speaks not only romani and japanese but also a bit of English (and has the thickest british accent. No one knows where it is from and Azusa refuses to tell them that it is from watching Harry potter so often)

Colours his hair in a blue-black colour to give it more depth sometimes

Wears very pretty, light blue-ish glitter on the inner eye corner sometimes

So beautiful eyes??

Long, dark lashes

Likes to wear a bit of mascara

Naturally a defined jawline and straight nose

But a bit chubby cheeks

Is very pale but tans quite a but when longer outside in the summer. But dues to his sensitivity to heat, he'd rather stay inside

His eyes have a bit of an almond form, which gives them a sharp look, but still quite big

Azusa likes to wear too big clothes, especially hoodies and sweaters from Ruki and Yuma.

Also, cargo pants. The wide ones

Combat boots are a staple in his closet

Loves plateau boots and sneakers

Converse all stars are his to go shoes if no plateau boot is available

The shoes size him up quite a bit so the first time he met the Sakamakis, they all thought he was quite big. They all were surprised as they arrived at the Mukami home and Azusa just shrinked a few inches

Paints his fingernails in hope that he doesn't chew on them that much if they're pretty and colorful

Cuts his hair himself because he feels that his slow manner of speech annoys the staff in hair salons

But he likes the choppy style so its not as big of a problem for him

❗has a problem coping with what happened in his childhood. He canonically sh, but has frequent anxienty attacks too.

Due to that, he has a few weightened blankets and lots of pillows on his bed to simulate the feeling of getting hugged

Big hugger

His love language is physical touch

bug lover

Has a really cool sweater with the life cycle of a frog

That was it, actually. I rambled quite a bit about Azusa but I still hope you'll like it.

I hope I was able to make your day a bit better.

If you have any requests, just ask!

Thank you for reading all of that. I really appreciate you! I hope you'll have an amazing day/night!

47 notes · View notes

joansiefics · 11 months

Note

Bucky -

could you write something about Bucky's daughter getting in a car accident with friends and shes the only one that makes it and she calls bucky because she's scared and hurt...so bucky and steve come to the scene and helps/

Everyone makes mistakes:

DAD!BUCKY X DAUGHTER!READER

WARNINGS: Underaged drinking, car accident, death. Please let me know if I missed anything :)

A/N: Alright, so if you have seen my last post (like a year ago), I said that I will be solemnly posting stories on Wattpad. It went great, but kinda went downhill after a while - I became busy with school and when I had the time I just couldn't get myself to write something. But then like a week ago, I logged into my Tumblr account, and I missed the feeling of writing something down and being creative (because all I do now is study math and physics and that's not really being creative), so I thought why not start writing the requests that I never wrote?? So yeah, here is the first one in a while :)

MARVEL MASTERLIST || BUCKY MASTERLIST || PROMPT LIST

REQUESTS are now OPEN

ADD yourself to my TAGLIST

I didn’t want to get into the car. I told them that like 20 times already, but do you expect drunk-out-of-their-mind people to listen to you - the “deadbeat” of the group, because you don’t like alcohol?

I used to like alcohol. LOVED it in fact. Until my dad had to come bail me out of jail, after a party had gone wrong. It wasn’t entirely my fault – I didn’t know the house wasn’t really the host’s house, but rather someone’s who was on vacation. The neighbors heard the music and yelling as our team won bear pong and called the police. When the police arrived, I was too drunk to register anything going on and some friends, my friends were – ran away without me and left me to be the only one to get arrested.

A few hours in jail can really help you sober up quickly, trying to gather your thoughts, because what are you going to tell your dad? Not even an hour later, my dad came to bail me out and I swore (while resting my head on the toilet seat and my dad holding my hair back) to never drink a sip of alcohol again if I could help it. Now I know most people say that, and the following night they’re at the new bar drinking like there’s no tomorrow – that wasn’t me: I declined the parties my “friends” invited me to and started spending more time with my dad – he is actually a really cool guy. This continued for a few weeks until my “friends” told me they didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, because I’ve changed. I have to say, I was truly happy with their decision.

I made new friends and was able to stick to my “no-drinking-promise” – but it became difficult because apparently you can’t have friends that don’t drink, leading to the predicament I find myself in at this very moment.

“Y/N will you just get in the freaking car?! We don’t have all night”.

“I’ve told you 20 times, now 21, I’m not getting into the car with you. You can’t even walk in a straight line!”

“Just GET IN!” My dad might be a super-soldier, but that doesn’t mean I inherited the strong gene, so it was rather easy for John (one of my friends) to man handle me into the back, squashing me against the left side window, as the rest of our friends piled in next to us. I prayed, I really prayed that I’d get home safe.

“Wouldn’t it be better if I drive? I know I only have my learners license, but you guys are accompanying me, so it’s not like I’m breaking the law. It’s better than all of us dying because you were drunk and driving”.

“I am fully capable of driving this car, Y/N” Melany said from the driver’s seat. I decided to shut my mouth and let her focus on the road, she didn’t need me and the alcohol distracting her.

“Turn up the music!!” Ethan yelled and everyone thought to cheer him on, as if he had said the coolest thing on earth.

“Don’t you think we should let Melany focus on the road, and maybe be quiet?” I suggested.

“Will you stop being such a deadbeat for once in your life, Y/N?” This time it was Sarah who spoke. She was the perfect student that everyone looked up to – perfect grades, happy family, rich parents, beach houses… you name it; but only we knew that it was all a façade – she studied day and night as an escape from her mom being permanently drunk and her dad permanently working. I guess that’s why her comment didn’t bother me as much as it should have, she is merely living out the life that was presented to her as an example.

“I’m sorry” I apologized.

We haven’t even been driving for more than five minutes, when Melany spoke again. “What is that bright light? It’s hurting my eyes, make it stop” she whined. Apparently drunk people are like insects attracted to light, because all my friends stared at the light in awe.

At first I wasn’t interested, I just rolled my eyes and stared out the window.

“Oh look, the light is moving towards us” Melany squealed, earning another eye roll from me, but I have to admit the curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to see what was so fascinating about a stupid light.

I wish I never looked – with the looking came the honking of a truck’s horn – a signal to move out of the way. But have you ever Googled what happens when people drink too much? My dad made me Google it the night he came to bail me out of jail; he forced me to read all the bad things that could happen to you when drinking irresponsibly – slowed reflexes, no filter for words spewing out of your mouth and sometimes even alcohol poisoning.

Right now, not even a horn could quicken Melany’s reflexes. Before I could even think of a plan to get her to swerve out of the way, the truck collided with us. Head on. We were flipping. Rolling. Flipping. Rolling. And flipping some more. When we finally came to a stop, I couldn’t see for a few seconds – everything was dark and blurry. It probably took me a few minutes to come to a realization of what just occurred.

“Okay Y/N. What would dad do in this situation?” I didn’t know what he would do and even if I did, I probably wouldn't be able to accomplish it. “Guys?” Silence. “Guys!” More silence. I didn’t like the silence – it made me hear my own heartbeat drumming in my ears. We were on a deserted road, little to no lampposts and no one ever driving down this road at this hour. I didn’t even know if the truck driver was alive, called the ambulance or just… drove away.

I slowly moved my arm, feeling pain shoot up into my shoulder, but I had to get a hold of my phone. Feeling my phone in my pocket, I just prayed it would still work. Slowly pulling it out, trying not to cause more pain to my shoulder, I saw the screen light up, and I could have cried tears of joy.

I didn’t want to call the police or the ambulance – I only wanted my dad. I pressed speed dial and not even 5 seconds later I heard my dad’s voice.

“Hey doll, where are you? I thought you would be home by eleven?”

“I-“ I didn’t know what to tell him. “I- uhm”

“Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“Hey, you promised never to call me Y/N unless I was in trouble” I tried to joke, maybe let out a laugh to let him know that I was okay and not busy bleeding somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Of course he heard the airy laugh. I wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear my heart beating like I could.

“Well, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“In trouble?”

“Have a little faith in me dad. I told you I’m not going to drink, and I stuck to my promise” I rasped out.

I heard some laughing in the background. “I’m sorry, am I disrupting you?”

“No, not at all, doll. Steve just came to hang out for a bit. But stop changing the subject, if you’re not in trouble, why are you calling me when you should have been home already?” I probably had to speed up the conversation, because I could feel myself getting dizzy, there was something wet dripping down my shoulder and forehead and no one was making a noise – I just hoped they’d be alive.

“Well, you see… uhm”.

“Spit it out. Do I have to come bail you out again? Because I swear Y/N I will…”

“I need you to come get me” I tried to stop the wobble in my voice, but it was useless. “I promise dad… I told them I didn’t want to, but they forced me and they were drunk and – and they’re not waking up and - “ a big sob escaped my mouth and I couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“What did they force you to do, Y/N?” I could hear the panic in my dad’s voice. I heard him call Steve and I heard Steve’s worried voice ask what was wrong.

“Y/N, you need to breathe and tell me where you are so we can come get you” I focused on my breathing, trying to get myself to keep calm and get as comfortable as possible. I tried wiping the wetness of my forehead, that kept bugging me, but I caught the sight of crimson smudged on my hand. Stupidly, I smacked the same hand over my mouth to stop the scream from pouring out, but my dad heard the muffled scream.

“Doll, breathe. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me”.

“I – there’s blood!” I wanted to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

“Y/N, answer me damnit! Where are you?”

“I don’t know” I was trying so hard to get air into my lungs. “We were driving back home from the party – “

“We… I… we’re on an abandoned road, there are almost no lampposts, there are no houses, there…” That’s all I know” I cried out, because how were they going to find me if I didn’t even know where I was.

Dad’s voice came from the other side. “We’ll search in the perimeters of the party’s address.”

“Please don’t hang up!”

“I’m going to hand the phone over to Steve, I have to focus on the road. Just keep talking to him, sweetheart.”

“We’ll be there soon, honey. Ten minutes, tops” Steve tried to ease my nerves.

I didn’t speak to any one of them after that, but it comforted me, knowing that they were there, just a call away and maybe just a few minutes away.

Eight minutes later, Steve said he was going to hang up and I cried and pleaded with him not to but got interrupted by the “end call” button. Before I could even think about cursing him out, or being mad at him and my dad, I heard my name being called.

“Here!” Was all I could seem to manage, but luckily they heard me. “Steve come help me get her out!” Soon Steve was forcing the door open and holding it as my dad, gently pulled me out of the wreck and into his chest.

“It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here. You’re safe. You’re alive.” My dad whispered in my ear, gently swaying me side-to-side. Sobs wracked my chest and the tears couldn’t stop flowing – my dad didn’t seem to care that his shirt was a mess of blood and tears.

“My – my friends”

My dad and Steve surreptitiously looked at each other until my dad nodded for Steve to get them out of the car. I think they knew something I didn’t, because when they were all safely outside the wreck, Steve had a confirmed look on his face as he searched for a pulse at each of them but didn’t find a single one.

“No! They’re fine, feel again!” I yelled at Steve. He wasn’t a doctor; he couldn’t call time of death.

“Y/N, doll, listen to me, Steve already checked – “

“ – Well he should check again! He’s wrong!”

To settle my mind, Steve searched for a pulse at each of them and once again turned to look at me with a sad smile.

“No. NO! No, no, no…” My “no’s” were getting quieter and my knees were getting weaker. “no, no…no” the last “no” came out chocked, and my dad caught me as my knees finally buckled and we sank to the floor. I couldn’t take the weight of their death. They were my friends, and even though they made some stupid decisions tonight, they didn’t deserve this. Everyone makes mistakes every once in a while. My dad ran his hand up and down my back, trying to ease some warmth and calmness into my skin and bones.

“Doll, I’m gently going to pick you up and take you to my car”.

“My shoulder. My friends” I kept seeming to forget my friends were dead.

“I’ll be careful of your shoulder. We’ll get it checked out and fixed at home. Right now, I just need you need to breathe with me. Focus on my breathing and everything will be sorted out. You don’t need to worry your head about anything right now, except breathing”

“My friends”

“We’ll get someone to come and get them. I promise”

My dad gently laid me down on the backseat of his car and a few moments later he got into the driver’s side and Steve got in next to me. Unfortunately, when my dad started the car, I was panicking. “No, I don’t want to be in a car. Please! Dad, don’t drive, I’m begging you!”

Steve gently scooted closer to me and enveloped me into a hug, I didn’t even realize we were driving, until we got home. Steve carried me out of the car as my dad ran ahead of us, opening the front door, grabbing blankets, and throwing them onto the couch. Steve gently put me down on the couch, but told me to keep sitting up, because they needed me to stay awake. Apparently, I can’t do that when I’m laying down.

My dad already called one of the doctors (while we were driving) from the infirmary to come check on me and do everything that he deemed necessary. My dad plopped himself down next to me, getting ready to keep me awake until the doctor gave orders that I could close my eyes.

After five minutes of the doctor’s presence, I decided that I didn’t like him. He kept telling me to “keep those eyes open” and “don’t fall asleep on me now”, while prodding at my injuries. Then he decided that pulling out the glass in my shoulder and stitching the wound up, was absolutely necessary and then he thought that shining the brightest light of all time in my eyes, would make me happy. My dad held my hand the entire time – gave it a squeeze when I winced or rubbed his thumb up and down when I squeezed my eyes shut due to the pain.

When the doctor finally left, my dad used a washcloth to wipe some sweat and dirt from me and handed me my pyjamas. He didn’t want to leave me alone for in case I felt dizzy (because the doctor said that’s what concussions can do), so he just turned around and kept his hand outstretched towards me, so I’d have something to grab onto if I felt like falling.

Afterwards, he helped me lay down under the covers and gently tucked me in as Steve brought me some biscuits, water and painkillers. It was difficult to fall asleep after everything that had happened tonight, but my dad reassured me that we’d take it day-by-day, one step at a time.

He would be there when I had to attend my friends’ funerals. He’d be there when I had to go for my check-up appointment at the doctor that wouldn’t let me sleep. And he’d be there when the terrible nightmares woke me up from my slumber.

--------------------------------------------------------

TAGLIST:

@buckyzzrogers @buckyandstevesbitch @ooopsthiswasnotsupposedtohappen @marvelouslyriddikulus @yliumy

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #mcu #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #dad!bucky x daughter!reader #injuries #bucky x injured!reader #car accident #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader

122 notes · View notes

steddieas-shegoes · 1 year

Note

The top of your blog says you're still taking requests,no pressure though of course: Eddie lives through the events of s4 and heals in the hospital, his name is cleared, Eddie spends his time with his uncle and his friends, plays games. He notices that Steve sort of remains on the back burner, shows up to little gatherings but keeps himself at a distance, busies himself with small tasks. Keeps the focus on Eddie, and is content to sort of stare at everyone, and not join in. Eddie gets worried and asks Robin whats up with Steve, why does he keep just standing in the corner or the kitchen smiling instead of joining in, I think he's bumming the kids out, Robin. And she has to calmly, and frightfully, remind him that Steve died over spring break. What are you talking about he's right there! I'd love a Ghost Steve who doesn't want to move on, wants to stay with his family. Doesn't want to be alone. Eddie is the only one who can see him at first(?)

OKAY SO THIS WAS SAD AS SHIT AND I LOVE THIS PREMISE. I especially love it because I have read A LOT of ghost Eddie fics, some where he was actually dead and some where it was a weird Upside Down thing and he was alive. I'm a big believer in happy endings so I went full speed ahead with the latter option for Steve. But since you requested ghost Steve not wanting to move on, I had to switch it up a bit to where Eddie couldn't just let it go. Still plenty of sad, but I had to make it hopeful and happy at the end because I am me. - Mickala ❤️

----------------------------------------------

While Eddie was in the hospital, it felt like he was in a bubble. His uncle was the only one allowed to visit for the first week, and then the kids were able to come by when his name was cleared.

They weren’t themselves, a cloud of sadness around them, but that was to be expected with everything that had happened.

Dustin, especially, clung to him more than he expected.

He figured it would be rough, he did almost die, after all, but this was on another level.

Dustin was with him every day for hours, sometimes had to be dragged out by his mom who understood, but only in the way a person who doesn’t know about the Upside Down could.

Robin came by sometimes, a haunted look on her face, none of her usual energy anywhere to be seen.

He managed to get her to crack a small smile twice.

When he left the hospital, things somehow felt worse.

The government had provided him and Wayne a new trailer, nowhere near the trailer park, even managed to get Wayne a new truck since Eddie’s van had been destroyed and Wayne’s truck was on its last leg for the last year.

His name was cleared, but that didn’t mean people changed their mind about him.

He mostly stayed at home, didn’t even attempt to go to the store with Wayne or anywhere but Dustin’s house or the Byers’.

The kids started begging for normalcy in whatever ways they could: meeting up for movie night, bringing Hellfire back, dinner at the Byers’ house.

Eddie was on board with it, wanted to put everything in the past just as much as they did.

He went to movie night, at Robin’s house while her parents were out of town instead of at Steve’s.

Steve, who hadn’t visited him once while he was in the hospital, hadn’t made it to any hangouts with the kids, apparently was coping with everything by ignoring everyone.

Eddie would have to do something about it soon because the kids were clearly missing him.

Movie night was okay, but he decided to have the next one at his house.

He told Dustin to let everyone know, didn’t think he had to be specific about everyone.

Steve didn’t show up on time, which was unusual since he was usually Dustin and Lucas’ ride. They rode with Nancy and Mike.

Everyone settled in, Eddie started the movie and passed out popcorn, waved goodbye to Wayne on his way out the door to his night shift.

Everything felt okay, but without Steve, it didn’t feel right.

Eddie could admit to himself he had a crush on him. He had one on him in high school, but that was easy to ignore when he was an asshole.

Now, he knew Steve was a good guy, protected these kids and Robin and Nancy with his life and didn’t hesitate even when he should.

It wasn’t just a crush anymore, he realized that while he was in the hospital. It was full blown feelings. Love.

Eddie sat in Wayne’s recliner in the corner, keeping an eye on everyone through the movie. He glanced over to the kitchen and saw movement, but didn’t think anything of it.

They paused the movie halfway through for bathroom breaks and refills on snacks and drinks, and Eddie followed all the kids into the kitchen to get his own beer.

He was startled when he turned the corner and saw Steve smiling at him from the corner.

He didn’t want to say anything, figured the kids had already said hello and he was just letting them get their stuff first.

But it was kind of weird that he’d come in the backdoor of a trailer he’d never visited when he easily could have come in the front door. Eddie watched as Steve leaned against the wall of the kitchen, watching everyone move around without saying anything.

It was weird, especially because the smile seemed to transform from a genuine one to a sad one quickly.

He didn’t want to draw attention to it, didn’t know how much Steve let the kids see usually, so he turned to grab his own snack from the counter.

Robin was standing there, staring at him, eyebrows pinched together.

“What were you looking at?”

“Uh,” Eddie glanced back over and saw Steve frowning now. “Steve? Looking like a kicked puppy in the corner?”

Robin’s face went from confused to worried in a millisecond.

“What? What do you mean?”

“Steve.” Eddie gestured towards where Steve was still standing, but now he looked panicked, like he wanted to interrupt. “Please feel free to make me not look insane, Steve.”

Robin glanced over to the corner, then back at Eddie, tears in her eyes.

“Eddie,” she said, voice sad, like she was about to break the worst news in the world to him. Then, she did. “Steve died. Remember? We had to leave him.”

That can’t be right. He could’ve sworn Steve was there when he was being pushed through the gate, when he gained just enough consciousness to look around and take inventory of the people around him. Steve was there.

“When did he die? He was at the…with the bats…he was at the trailer…right?”

Eddie looked back in the corner and saw Steve looking down at the floor.

And then Robin was pulling him into a hug.

“Nobody told you. They were supposed to tell you. And we-” she let out a sob. “We just haven’t talked about it. It’s hard to. Last time we tried, Dustin had to be given anxiety meds. I’m sorry, Eddie. He’s gone.”

She was crying through the explanation, almost too much for him to understand what she was saying.

But he watched as Steve wiped at his eyes in the corner.

Like he was crying. Like he was there.

He knew Robin wasn’t lying, she would never lie about something like this, and it would explain a lot of the behavior of everyone and Steve’s absence up until this point.

“Robbie, I-” Eddie didn’t know if it would help or hurt her to know he could see Steve right now. He made a decision based on the way Steve was watching them now, his eyes wide and sad, like he would be crying if he could. “I can see him right now.”

Robin pulled away, looked at him, then over at the corner.

“Right now? He’s there right now?”

Eddie nodded.

“Can you hear him say anything?”

“No, he hasn’t said anything. I don’t think he can.”

Steve was still just staring at them, and Eddie knew he was stuck.

If he was truly dead, he wasn’t moving on the way people do. If he wasn’t dead, then something super weird was happening and he would have to get help from everyone.

But he didn’t want to involve the kids, not for this. Because if Steve was dead, like they thought, and they went through the trouble of trying to find him, they’d be hurting all over again.

But if he wasn’t.

“Robin, were you sure he was dead? No pulse or breathing, no movement?”

Robin’s eyes widened.

“I mean, I guess as sure as we could be with how rushed and emotional we were? Nancy couldn’t find a heartbeat and he wasn’t moving, and we waited as long as we could, but he didn’t wake up. Do you think he isn’t dead?”

Steve was watching them, his fingers tapping against his arms that were crossed over his chest.

“How long can someone survive down there?”

“Eddie, look. I already talked to Hopper about it. He said even if somehow Steve managed to survive his injuries, they were bad enough that he would have probably been found by something and attacked. And even if he survived that, he’s been down there without food and water and clean oxygen for a month. The fact that Will survived a week was a miracle.”

He didn’t push. He could hear it in Robin’s voice that she’d already thought of every possible outcome, probably even tried to plan a rescue mission at some point.

She couldn’t take the disappointment either.

Eddie dropped it for now, but he watched as Steve watched him.

He just had a feeling that this was more complicated than Steve being dead.

—-----------------------

He let himself mourn that night.

While he didn’t feel like Steve was dead, he knew that no matter what, Steve had been missing from all their lives for a month.

He cried for hours, he cried for Steve, for Dustin, for Robin, for Max, for everyone who Steve loved so much that he died for them.

Himself included.

Because that’s what it came down to: Steve died protecting them.

They all took a risk, but Steve paid the price.

It wasn’t fair. The guy who put everyone first was the first one gone.

Eddie finally fell asleep, but it was restless. He kept getting flashes of Steve in his dreams, his face bloody, his body bloody, his screams loud.

Which was weird for a lot of reasons, one of them being that he didn’t know what injuries Steve even had when he died. The ghost he saw in his kitchen earlier had just been Steve, not bloodied or broken or scared.

When he managed to get up, he went through the motions of his day: brush his teeth, shower, eat breakfast, do his stretches, play guitar, eat lunch, clean up, talk to Wayne.

But by dinner, he felt like he had to do something. He had to figure out why he felt this buzzing energy around him.

He waited until Wayne left to get their dinner at the diner and bring it home, then he called Robin.

“Robin, is there a gate open somewhere?”

“Seriously, Eddie.”

“I just need to know! Maybe you’re right, in fact, you probably are. But what if you aren’t? What if he’s stuck down there? What if he’s too hurt to find a way back here?”

Robin was silent, but Eddie didn’t let that deter him.

“I know you guys were pretty sure. And I know you wouldn’t have left if you didn’t believe he was dead. But you said yourself you were emotional and overwhelmed and feeling rushed because of everything happening. It’s not that far of a stretch to believe that he could be alive.”

“Eddie.”

Her voice was broken.

She didn’t want to believe him.

“Okay,” he sighed. “Okay.”

“I know it’s hard. It’ll get easier, I hope. His parents just sold the house, and his car, so. He’s gone. We have to accept that.”

“Okay.”

But it wasn’t okay.

He hung up with Robin, promised he would try to get some sleep, take care of himself. It was a lie.

He ate dinner with Wayne, pretended he was doing alright, pretended he didn’t still hear the echoes of Steve’s screams in his head.

Wayne left early for work, claimed he was picking up some overtime due to them being short staffed still after the quake. He said he wouldn’t be home until nine the next morning.

Eddie nodded and pretended to head to his room for the night.

He did a lot of pretending until he was alone.

Then, he got on the phone with El.

El had gotten attached to him while Max was in a coma, stopping by to talk to him after she’d spent an hour or so with Max. She saw him as a cool older brother, especially when she realized Hopper wasn’t his biggest fan.

“I need to know if there’s a gate open.”

“Eddie, I do not know if I can help with that,” El responded slowly, carefully.

“What if I say it’s for a really good reason?”

“I am sure it is, but I promised Dad I would not open one.”

“But what if there’s one already open?”

“There is not. I would feel it.”

Eddie sighed. He didn’t want to make El break a promise, but this was worth it.

He knew Hopper would forgive her and him if he was right.

“Has Will mentioned feeling anything weird?”

Sometimes Will felt things that even El couldn’t, usually things happening only in the Upside Down. Everyone’s running theory was that it was because of the time he spent down there.

“No, he just feels the usual.”

“What’s the usual?”

“It is just there. Sometimes it is more there than other times.”

“And right now? It isn’t more than other times?”

“I think it is just always more than other times since Vecna.”

Hm. That could be something.

“Why does it feel like more sometimes?”

“It is hard to say. Sometimes it is nothing, sometimes it is because something is moving and trying to get out.”

“Is it always a creature?”

“It always was before.”

“El, I think Steve’s alive.”

There, he said it. He said it to someone who could probably actually help him, who would would help him if she believed him.

“Why do you think that? They said he was not breathing.”

“I know, but, look. Robin even said that they were being rushed and were crying and could have missed something.”

“But it has been a month.”

“I saw him. In the kitchen.” He hated saying this to one of the kids. They all loved Steve so much and if he was wrong, he really didn’t want this to hurt her. “At movie night. He was there, but only I could see him. Robin said maybe it was a ghost, but it seemed too real.”

“It was Steve?”

“Even if he’s de-,” Eddie stopped. “Gone. If his body is where it was left, it should be put to rest here. And if it isn’t, and he’s alive, then we can save him.”

“But we will get caught.”

“Not if we do it tonight. Hopper works nights this week, right?”

“Yes.”

“So he won’t be home to know you’re gone. Will is over at Dustin’s. Jonathan is so high, he won’t notice you’re gone. Joyce will be asleep by ten. You can sneak out.”

“What if you get hurt? I cannot go down there.”

That was a valid concern.

They defeated Vecna, and the Mindflayer hadn’t been a problem since, but that didn’t mean the other creatures weren’t still prowling around down there.

Out of all of them, he had the least experience with them, and she had every right to be worried.

“I can handle it. I’ll bring Steve’s bat.”

—------------------------

He met El in the woods behind the cabin they were staying in. Hopper had redone it, adding two bedrooms and a bathroom so they could all fit more comfortably.

They silently hugged and kept walking further, away from any chance of being seen or heard.

El warned him that opening the gate was risky in other ways too. She had a lot of control over her powers, but sometimes using this much strength would leave her too tired to close it again, and they couldn’t leave a gate open for longer than it took for Eddie to get in, check for Steve, and get out.

They also ran the risk of her using a little too much power and making a gate that was too big for her to close at all.

But these were risks Eddie deemed worth it, and with some convincing, El did too.

They found a small clearing, big enough to make a gate that Eddie could fit through.

He didn’t let himself stop to think about the last time he was being pushed through a gate, how he was bleeding out and barely breathing. He only thought about how Steve was down there, dead or alive, and didn’t deserve to be.

“Are you ready?” El asked him, her hands digging into the earth below her.

“Ready.”

“Two hours. If you are not back in two hours, I call Hopper.”

That was the deal. That was the only way she agreed to do this.

He knew if it came down to him being gone for more than two hours, he’d probably be grateful to see Hopper.

“Got it.”

El nodded and closed her eyes.

The ground started shaking, Eddie held back the panic, and suddenly El was staring up at him, blood dripping from her nose, smiling.

The ground had opened between them, just big enough for Eddie to slip through, small enough for El to cover with sticks and leaves if someone came looking before their time was up.

“You will come back in two hours.”

“Sure thing, supergirl. With Steve, hopefully.”

“With Steve,” she added with a small smile.

Eddie didn’t think anymore.

He dropped himself down, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach when everything turned upside down on him.

He didn’t let himself hesitate, even though he wanted to.

He had a lot of ground to cover in a short amount of time, and if Steve was alive, he could be anywhere.

But he walked towards where Robin and Nancy had left him. It would at least confirm if he was dead, his body hopefully would still be there if so.

It was only two miles, but Eddie was never a very fast runner. The first mile went surprisingly well, much faster than he expected to be able to do it. But during mile two, he felt his legs shaking.

He was still technically healing, the physical therapy stretches he did every morning further proof that he still had a long way to go before he was completely recovered.

But he pushed through it, knowing that the way back would be worse and he couldn’t waste time now.

But when he got to the area between the Creel house and the trailer park, he saw no sign of Steve, or anything for that matter.

There weren’t even vines or dead creatures around.

He tried to remain calm.

Steve had been alive when they left him here.

He may not be now, but he had been.

That felt worse.

He pushed that aside and decided to run to the trailer park.

Steve wouldn’t have gone in the direction of the Creel house, and he wouldn’t have wandered aimlessly no matter how much blood he’d lost.

He would have gone to the place he knew they would be in hopes the gate was still open.

The trailer park had always been kind of eerie, even in broad daylight, so the Upside Down version was downright horrific.

Eddie ran directly to his old trailer, hoped that somehow Steve found shelter here.

It looked worse than what he remembered, blood on the floor from when they were half dragging, half carrying him after being a meal for the bats.

The door had been kicked in at some point, and he wasn’t sure how or when that could have happened after they left.

He almost didn’t want to know unless-

He could hear movement in the back bedroom. His bedroom.

It could be anything. Wind blowing through a broken window, a creature he wasn’t entirely prepared to kill, Steve.

God, he hoped it was Steve.

He slowly walked towards the bedroom, his hands shaking where they were holding on tight to the bat.

The door was open a few inches, and he could hear the movement more clearly.

It sounded like someone was in bed, shifting in the sheets.

Holy shit.

He pushed the door open.

Holy shit.

“Steve!”

Eddie dropped the bat and ran to the bed, only stopping himself from jumping onto it when he saw the blood.

There was a lot, though most of it looked old, like maybe Steve had crawled here and then couldn’t quite find his way back out.

Steve was pale. It was dark, and hard to make out a lot of details, but he could see that he was deathly pale.

“Steve?”

“Eddie?”

“Holy shit, Jesus Christ, Steve. Where are you bleeding from?”

“Um, I think my leg? And my stomach.”

His voice was raspy, sort of nasally like he was coming down with a cold. Could you catch a cold from being down here? Probably.

Eddie’s hands hovered over the sheets, ready to move them so he could try to help, when Steve suddenly turned on his side and threw up.

“Shit. Hold on, let me help you sit up.”

“Sorry. Sorry.”

Steve was crying, and Eddie didn’t know what to do.

He took a deep breath.

“You don’t have to apologize, Stevie. I’m sorry you’ve been stuck here. Can I check your heartbeat?”

Eddie needed to see if it was ridiculously fast or slow, needed to determine how quickly he had to move them out of here, if he could take a few extra minutes to try to patch him up or if he just had to put him on his back and run.

Steve held his wrist towards him and Eddie quickly found his pulse.

He counted like a kind nurse showed him while he was in the hospital, filed away for future emergencies so he could be useful.

“It’s a little fast, but I think that’s normal for the situation. Let’s get you up and we can go.”

“Go how?”

“You can hop on my back.”

“I-”

“Steve, it’s not up for debate. You’re coming back with me and I don’t care if it means I break my back.”

Steve nodded once, his eyes closing as if he was just too exhausted to fight.

Eddie was sure he was.

Even if he managed to sleep here, it couldn’t have been well. It’s hard to rest when you know scary monsters are just outside the door.

“Tired,” Steve said, almost like he could read Eddie’s mind.

Hell, maybe he could after spending so much time down here.

Something to test later.

He checked his clock. Still had almost an hour and a half to get back to the gate.

“Have you had anything to eat or drink lately?”

“Found some water four days ago I think? Maybe five. Managed to stretch it until yesterday. Food’s been gone for days.”

How was he not passed out?

“How much of this blood is yours?”

“All of it.”

Awesome.

Eddie felt his forehead. He had a fever.

Even more awesome.

He probably had infections, which can be treated if you get them taken care of quickly, but he could have had them for weeks by now.

Cool.

“Alright, on three, wrap your arms around my neck and your legs around my waist. I’m gonna lift, and I just need you to try to keep leaning forward while I get you on my back.”

“Mkay.”

“And you cannot close your eyes. You hear me, Steve?”

Steve didn’t answer.

“Sweetheart, I need you to talk to me.”

“Mhm. Eyes stay open.”

“And mouth keeps moving. Alright,” Eddie helped him out a bit by placing his arms around his neck. “One…two…three.”

He lifted, and huffed out a sharp breath when his ribs started aching almost immediately.

“Okay?” Steve whispered against his neck.

“I’m okay. You?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Eddie let himself take one calming breath, just enough to get himself back on track. “Talk to me.”

“Hurts.”

“I know, love, but I need to know you haven’t passed out,” Eddie said sympathetically.

“Wanna hold your hand.”

God, okay. He could handle that.

He could.

“Okay, one hand for a minute. I need them both to hold you up though.”

He moved one hand up to his chest, where Steve’s hands were sort of dangling. He let his thumb run along the side of Steve’s hands, then Steve grabbed it and squeezed, surprising strength behind it.

“Is Dustin okay?”

Jesus Christ, this guy was half dead and still asking if others were okay.

“Yeah, he’s doing okay. Misses you, though.”

“Miss him.”

“Max is gonna be mad you came back from the dead in a more impressive way than her.”

“She can win.”

Eddie let out a laugh and tugged his hand back to adjust Steve on his back.

They had barely made it out of the trailer park and Eddie’s legs were shaking. He could do it though, he had no choice.

“How long?” Steve asked.

“A month.”

“Robin?”

“She’s hurting. She thought I was crazy. Didn’t wanna come because she didn’t wanna see you like she left you.”

“Not dead though.”

“Nope, not unless dead people can talk down here.”

Steve’s breath was hot against his neck, tickling him and sending chills down his back.

“You?”

“What about me?”

“Hurt?”

Steve’s voice was getting more strained, like he was doing his best to still talk but it was causing a lot of pain for him to do so.

“I was really hurt, yeah.”

“Still?”

“Not as much. Just a little.”

“Love me?”

Eddie knew he was losing it. The pain, the dehydration and hunger, the deliriousness. Steve didn’t have a clue what he was saying.

“What?”

“You love me?”

“Um.”

Steve squeezed his legs around Eddie’s hips.

“Came back. Love me.”

When it was put like that, yeah, Eddie guessed it seemed kind of obvious.

“Just a little.”

He could sense the eyeroll Steve wanted to give, but didn’t quite have the energy.

“I saw you. In my kitchen. Were you there?”

“Dunno.”

“Did you dream about it?”

“Just you. Kids. Robin. Missed you.”

“We all missed you.”

Eddie was making more progress, his determination to get Steve medical attention far outweighing any weakness or pain he was feeling.

“Ow.”

“What hurts, sweetheart?”

“Stomach.”

“Bites?”

“Mhm.”

Eddie could feel where the blood was soaking through his shirt, but he knew it wasn’t so much that he couldn’t at least make it through the gate before bandaging it up. He’d made it this long with them out, another 30 minutes wouldn’t kill him.

Hopefully.

Steve was quiet again, but he was breathing against Eddie’s neck steadily, so he didn’t push.

“Man, you won’t believe the place they gave me and Wayne. It’s got two bedrooms. And we have a whole kitchen instead of just a small counter area with a stove and fridge. Maybe you can cook us dinner when you’re better, you know, as a thanks for rescuing you.”

“Not a good cook.”

“I don’t believe that. Robin said you made her chicken parmesan from scratch for her birthday.”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, so chicken parmesan, my kitchen, soon.”

“Soon.”

They were close, creeping into the edge of the woods, and Eddie was trying not to panic at Steve’s silence.

“Stevie, just a few more minutes. Tell me about the first thing you wanna do when you’re back.”

“Mmm.” Steve’s head rolled back and forth like he was trying to focus. “Kiss you.”

“That can be arranged. What else?”

“Hug Dustin. Love him.”

“Yeah, he could use that.”

“Hug Robin. Love her.”

“She could use that, too.”

“Hug you, love you.”

He wouldn’t hold Steve to this, he wouldn’t. But it would hurt so much when Steve forgot about this whole conversation.

He bit his lip and nodded.

“Yeah, I could use that.”

Steve’s lips were pressed against his neck, most likely accidental, but Eddie let himself pretend for a moment it was a kiss.

When he reached the gate, he whistled to get El’s attention.

“Oh! Eddie, is that…”

“He’s alive. Really hurt and needs water and food. I need to get him through.”

El was prepared with everything and it only took a couple of minutes for them to get through the gate, Steve whimpering slightly as they moved him around.

“You were right.”

El seemed surprised, like she had only done this to give Eddie closure. She hadn’t expected Steve to be alive.

“He loves me,” Steve said.

El looked at Eddie, then at Steve, then back to Eddie.

“You love him?”

“I do. And I’ll love him a lot more if he stays alive. We have to get him to the hospital.”

“I can call Hopper?”

“Tell him to meet us at the cabin with an ambulance.”

“Jus’ need sleep.”

Eddie looked at Steve, mouth open in disbelief.

“You’re going to the hospital.”

“Sleep.”

“I’m not arguing with you. You can barely form a sentence. You’re going to the hospital.”

“You come?”

“I won’t leave your side.”

Eddie put him on his back again so he could walk towards the cabin, hopeful that Hopper wouldn’t ask a lot of questions until they got Steve taken care of.

“He is on his way!” El yelled from the porch, Joyce coming up behind her, hair a mess from being asleep.

When she saw Steve, her eyes widened and she nearly tripped running down the stairs.

“Oh God, Steve! Honey, are you okay? Of course not, you can’t even walk. You’re bleeding!”

“Mrs. Byers, can you get him some water maybe please?”

“Yes! Oh my God!”

She was running back up the stairs, mumbling to herself the whole way.

El giggled as she watched.

Eddie loved her.

He could hear sirens in the distance, and he hoped he would be able to ride with Steve.

He shouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

Steve’s eyes were closed, but Eddie kept his fingers on his pulse, making sure he didn’t have any changes while the sirens got closer.

Hopper’s patrol car arrived first, barely in park before Hopper was jumping out and running to where Eddie was cradling Steve.

Joyce came out with the water and handed it to Eddie.

“Dammit, why would you go down there alone? You know the rules.”

Eddie ignored him, just focused on getting some water past Steve’s lips.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Just a few sips.”

Steve’s lips moved, then he swallowed some of the water.

“There ya go. Good job.”

Hopper was watching in silence now, Joyce with her arm around him.

Eddie knew they were wondering how the hell they would ever get over leaving Steve behind.

The ambulance pulled up next, EMTs rushing out and asking Eddie question after question.

He had to keep it simple: found him in the woods, must’ve been out there since the quake with the injuries and level of dehydration. They took him at his word.

When they loaded Steve up, they let Eddie in only because Hopper insisted.

“I’ll be right behind you.”

And he was.

Eddie kept his eyes on Steve the whole time, but he could see the lights of Hopper’s police car in the window next to him.

Steve’s eyes fluttered open a few times as they hooked him up to oxygen and an IV, kept checking his vitals.

Eddie smiled at him each time, made sure he knew he was there and he loved him.

—---------------------------

It was two days before Steve woke up again.

The wounds weren’t bad, but they were infected, which was why they kept randomly bleeding despite not being very deep.

The infection was actually the worst of it, but it had potential to be life threatening if they couldn’t get it under control.

They pumped him full of pain relievers and antibiotics, fluids and nutrients.

Eddie sat by his bed the whole time.

None of the kids were allowed in yet, doctor’s and Hopper’s orders, but he heard Dustin in the hall multiple times a day giving it his best shot.

Robin hadn’t come by yet. Eddie knew she felt guilty, immensely so. She left her best friend down there, suffering, and didn’t even think to double check when it was safe to do so.

Eddie didn’t blame her, and he knew Steve wouldn’t either, but Robin would.

But when Steve’s eyes finally opened, bloodshot and glassy from his IV concoction, he smiled at Eddie.

“Love me?”

“Just a little.”

He fell back asleep a few minutes later, holding Eddie’s hand like a lifeline.

—------------------------

It took another four days before the doctors said he could be around others. His infection symptoms had gotten better and they believed the worst was over.

Eddie called Robin and told her to bring Dustin, no arguing. Steve was asking for them.

It wasn’t a lie, but he may have exaggerated it slightly just to get them here.

And when they did show up, everyone cried.

Robin collapsed next to the bed while Dustin folded himself against Steve the moment he was given permission to.

Eddie just watched from his chair, took in the way Steve comforted them despite the fact he was still in the hospital after spending a month alone in the Upside Down.

That was just who Steve was.

It probably wasn’t healthy, but it’s why Eddie loved him. Just a little.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #robin buckley #the party #temporary character death #ficlet #request #angst #happy ending

382 notes · View notes

sirfrogsworth · 7 months

Text

Thoughts on Live Action Avatar: TLA

I'm sure people are going to hate this. Some for valid reasons. Some because of endless nitpicking that really has no bearing on how good or bad it actually was. Some because they have already chosen to hate it and it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But I always root for things to be good. I want them to succeed. And I always go into everything I watch with the hope and expectation it will be good. I turn off my critical brain and try to just experience the show for what it is. As I said, I saw no trailers. I read no reviews. I knew almost nothing about the production of this going in.

Initially, things were rough... buddy.

And I think that is a longstanding problem with live action TV shows in general. I am always reminded of Star Trek TNG and how it took two seasons (48 episodes) before they figured out what the hell they were doing. Back then shows were able to find their footing and grow and learn. Actors were given time to find their characters and understand them and finally become them.

But now, every show has to be amazing from the start or they get cancelled. And I think people have become very unforgiving of first seasons as well. I feel like not enough people consider the potential of something getting better. And I think that is a shame.

So, yes, Avatar started out rough. They tried to cram all of the exposition into the first 20 minutes. And that was unpleasant. The effects were jarring at first. It is incredibly difficult to translate animation into live action. And please don't say the CGI was "bad." It wasn't. There was just so much that needed to be packed into every frame of this show to make it work, and finding a way to make it all seamlessly blend is a monumental task. I think the artists did an amazing job with the constraints of essentially making an 8 hour movie in the time usually given a 2 hour one.

But as the show continued, the actors seemed more comfortable in their roles. The showrunners seemed to figure out what worked and what didn't. The quality across the board started to improve. Especially when they started to deviate a little bit from following the cartoon. I also noticed that the effects that were jarring in the beginning eventually stopped bothering me and breaking immersion. I got used to them and was able to just focus on the story. And I think they got a little better as well. The bending was much more convincing as the show progressed. And it was a bajillion times better than the slow-motion bending of that movie that shall not be named.

And by the final episode, I was all in. The Avatar monster was really cool. And I was crying my eyes out and having all kinds of emotions. And there were some changes they made to the story which I actually thought made more sense. And I was glad this show was doing a few things to differentiate rather than being an exact carbon copy.

It won me over.

And I know it won't do that for everyone. And perhaps I am forgiving a lot of sins just because I wanted it to be good. The original was my absolute favorite show of all time. I just liked spending time with these characters again.

But I liked it more than I didn't and I'm hoping that is the general consensus, but I fear that is not the case.

Things I really liked...

I thought the actor playing Sokka was really great. They didn't give him enough humorous material. But I think this kid absolutely nailed the role. And if this gets another season, I do hope he can show Sokka's lighter side a bit more.

Ken Leung also did amazing as Zhao. I think he surpassed his cartoon counterpart in villainy. I loved hating him.

The final battle was beautiful. I think they probably dedicated a lot of resources to that. Maybe at the expense of other things. But I think it was worth it to end strong.

In the first season of the cartoon, the trauma was often skipped over or kept very brief. I'm sure the idea of dealing with genocide and war time trauma was not an easy sell to Nickelodeon initially. But they did actually take the time to show some of that trauma, especially with Katara and Sokka. And I cried a bunch.

They seemed to go to considerable effort to have a diverse cast. I am glad they learned that lesson from the movie.

That said, they probably could have brought back Dee Bradley Baker to make the animal noises. This might have been an overcorrection...

I guess this will give the anti-wokesters something to complain about since the original was already super woke and it is probably a challenge to complain about the new thing being woke as well. Though I'm sure they are up to the challenge.

Things I didn't care for...

The compressed timeline caused a few stories to be combined and accelerated. I understand why that was necessary. But there were some important moments of character growth that got lost.

Sokka's missing sexism. I think it is much more useful to see someone grow and change and let go of their problematic traits than to pretend that never existed. Sokka's sexism was a symbol of the conservative views within water tribe culture in general. It was also foreshadowing for the conflict with Pakku (which was also minimized). I just think young viewers seeing a character overcome ingrained ideals has a greater influence than just erasing that aspect from the character.

Things I hated...

Princess Yue's hair. You get the amazing Amber Midthunder to play Yue, and she does an amazing job with extremely abbreviated screen time, but I couldn't stop staring at whatever that was they put on her noggin. I know I criticized people for nitpicking, but that was very distracting. I don't know exactly how it could have been done better, but I worry a great performance is going to get overshadowed by... hair.

In conclusion...

I think the people making this show loved the source material. I can see that love. I think they tried very hard to make the best show possible. And I also know they are probably going to get a lot of hate. I still haven't looked at the reviews because I didn't want to be influenced when writing this. But I can feel the review bombing as we speak.

But this was not a Witcher situation where the writers didn't respect the source material. This was displaying how incredibly difficult it is to convert one of the most beautifully animated shows in existence into live action. Maybe that is an argument for not making live action versions. Though I usually love them when they work and am happy both versions exist.

I really hope people can remember the original still exists and they can completely disregard this and watch the cartoon any time they wish. This doesn't have to "ruin their childhood." These two things can exist and everyone is perfectly capable of ignoring all of the live action material.

But I do hope this gets another season. I think that final episode showed the potential. I think the cast was getting comfortable in their roles and they deserve another chance to show what they can do.

I love Paul Sun-Hyung Lee and I think he was a great choice for Iroh. But Mako's shoes are probably the biggest shoes in the existence of shoes to try and fill. I do not envy the task he was given. But every once in a while I saw that Mako spirit come out in his performance and I think he could use another season to really find that and show us what he is capable of.

This felt a lot like The Phantom Menace to me. There was actually a ton of amazing stuff to love in that movie. But it didn't quite work the way the original movies did. But I think this was good enough to hope for the future.

54 notes · View notes

simlicious · 7 months

Text

Personal update about my anxiety

Time for another personal update! At the moment, I'm not really in a creative mood and my projects are all resting.

I am working on more stuff in my real life, including cleaning/decluttering my apartment and working through an anxiety app which will hopefully get me to start exposure (though I shudder at the thought alone). The funny thing is, the app is for social anxiety, and I do have some social anxiety, but I think I mainly have agoraphobia (but there is no medical app available for this at the moment, so I took the next best thing). The app said: "Let's make a gradual steps plan, you first choose a very easy step, then one that is a little harder and harder, and so on until the hardest step comes at the top." And for the easiest step, it actually suggested one of my hardest steps: going into a store, buying something, and interacting with the cashier. Checkouts give me such anxiety. I once had a full-blown panic attack because I couldn't remember the PIN number for my credit or debit card. And I very rarely get panic attacks. Luckily, my brother was present and he was able to pay for me while I almost hyperventilated and tears were streaming down my face. Generally, I start sweating and get shaky hands which does not help while handling cards and remembering pin numbers. I get tunnel vision and cannot focus on anything that is going on around me. Sometimes, blood rushes in my ears so I have a hard time picking up whether someone is saying anything. Then, all items need to be put into bags at lightning speed, and I always fear that I am not fast enough and that everyone else in line is annoyed and angry with me and this makes me even more nervous. Putting things away with shaky hands is tough! So I send my boyfriend shopping for me or buy online most of the time. If I absolutely must, I can go shopping with one of my loved ones because I feel a tiny bit calmer and know I have a safety net with me. They can also help me put stuff in my bags. But alone? That's nightmare fuel for me. Same thing with using public transportation, I just can't do it. I also have a very hard time sitting in waiting rooms at the doctor's office, I get so tense and do not know what to do with myself. Oh, and I also have severe anxiety when I need to make a phone call 😫 But all that is seriously impacting my life, as you can imagine. And I want to change something.

Since the app is not helpful with suggestions for my gradually harder steps to take, I have to come up with my own, and it is harder than I thought! All the things I think about are really hard for me, I cannot think of less hard steps to take 😣 Even just going outside without a destination/going out by myself is also anxiety-inducing for me. I feel like I am watched all the time, I get tense and my thoughts start racing or going in circles. This also happens while I am in a store to shop for something. I get paralysed sometimes with decision fatigue and if someone else comes into the same aisle, I have the urge to run away instantly. I get so distracted that I need to spend way more time in a store than usual and this is of course not making me calmer. I am just super exhausted after going shopping! I am proud that I leave the house twice a week now to go for a walk with my best friend though. We have just established a second day of the week this year, and we still do not go twice every week, but pretty often, which is great. And I love to walk in nature, it calms me (if there aren't too many other people around). 😊 I am also making progress with my borked sleep cycle. I am a night owl 🦉, but being awake the whole night clashes a lot with my family's plans. I have tried for months to shift it, but in the last one to two weeks, I actually made real progress and went to bed 2 to 3 hours earlier than normal, which is really huge for me! I found out that there are lots of free audiobooks on YouTube that authors upload themselves. So one hour before I want to sleep, I put one on, set a shutdown timer of 60 minutes so it will turn off after that time, and then go to bed and listen to it until I fall asleep. This has motivated me enough to actually go to bed earlier.

As a result, I get more daylight and I am more inclined to do housework, which I also struggle with in general, so this is really great! I am focusing more on that now. I also started playing Subnautica again, but I can only play for a few hours on end because it can get pretty intense. I kinda want to play Sims 4 again (weird, I know). My anxiety app wants me to think more positively, so instead of thinking that it is no use updating my mods because the minute I do, another patch drops anyway and I have to start all over, I should think more positively. I will probably drop the game after playing for a day anyway, so it does not need to stay updated for long! Maybe downloading and updating mods is more fun than actually playing anyway? 😆

#non-sims #personal #life with anxiety

40 notes · View notes

beaker1636 · 11 months

Text

Rainy Day - Ricky Smut/Fluff

AN: I tried something very different than what I usually do in this fic, trying to focus more on the underlaying emotions than dialogue/what happens in the fic. And it turned out to be the piece I am most proud of. I love this and how it turned out, and hopefully all my Ricky girlies feel the same way. @motionlessindoubt requested a rainstorm Ricky smut and this is where my mind went!

taglist: @tearfallpixie @dragon-chica @darkhallcorner @lacktoesandtoddlerants

You watch out the window as the rain falls, you truthfully love thunderstorms, they are perfect thinking weather. The problem with that is you can’t currently make your mind shut off, and you are struggling a lot with the self doubt that is running through your head right now. The man you are in love with is laying next to you in bed asleep, but the problem with that is that he isn’t in love with you.

The two of you are in a situationship, enjoying the physical side when it benefits the two of you. Him swearing off relationships as a whole after the one he thought was for him left about a year ago. At first the friends with benefits thing was enough for you, but it has slowly turned towards more for you.

When you asked him over tonight you actually intended for that to be the end of whatever this is, because emotionally you can’t handle acting like it means nothing anymore when it means the world to you at this point. The two of you had agreed that if either of you started to get feelings for the other that you would end things.

You don’t realize that he has woken up until you feel a hand brush against your hair, making you turn to look at him. He smiles warmly at you, able to tell that your mind is running and something isn’t right, but he isn’t sure what has changed in the last few hours.

“What’s bothering you?” he asks you softly, his eyes searching your face hoping for a truthful answer.

“Rick, I-I can’t pretend that this means nothing to me anymore,” you say softly, not realizing that warm tears are falling down your cheeks as you turn away from him, not wanting him to see. “We can’t do this anymore, you have grown to mean way too much to me and I just can’t do this anymore.”

You let out a soft sigh, moving to wipe your own tears away as you now watch the lightning and rain fall outside of your window, focusing on the sounds of the rain over your own thoughts that are yelling at you, telling you that you are an idiot. That if this is the most you can get from him that you should accept that, it is better than nothing.

“Look at me y/n, please.” you can feel him pull on your arm, wanting you to turn back towards him but you can’t.

You just shake your head, not wanting to have to see him as you know that his words are going to rip your heart out. You don’t want him to have to see your face when he does that, not wanting him to have to feel guilt over that. The two of you agreed to tell the other if things changed because you wanted no strings and you broke that promise. You continued for far too long after realizing that you developed feelings for him and now you have to face the consequences of keeping that a secret.

“Fine, I can say this without you watching me but I can’t just ignore it and not say anything. You think things haven’t changed for me either? We have started spending time together, laying with each other like a couple. We have been spending a lot of time together just watching movies, having dinner together. We may not have acknowledged that things are different but they are, you think that doesn’t scare me too? That I am not terrified of the fact that I said no strings attached and am absolutely in love with you now?”

You can’t help the gasp that escapes with you hearing his confession, that you did not expect to come out of his mouth. You expected a harsh rejection, him to say that he wanted nothing to do with you anymore now that you have feelings for him.

You slowly turn so that you can face him, searching his face for the lie, but all you can find is genuine emotion written across his face. He reaches out, brushing a couple more of your stray tears from your cheeks with the lightest touch he has probably ever given you.

“You know, they say that rain washes things away right? That it washes things away and helps grow positives? Maybe we need to let it wash away what we used to be and let this new thing grow between us. If you can trust and accept that what I just said is true,” he says softly, ghosting a kiss against your forehead.

“Rick, I,” you can’t find the words you need to speak. “I, you love me? You aren’t just fucking with me right now?”

“I wouldn’t joke about this y/n, I didn’t think I would feel this way about anyone again when she broke my heart, so it has taken me a while to accept what I am feeling for you. But I do, and I want to explore this with you, if you will let me,” he says softly, cupping your cheek so that he can urge you to meet his eyes.

“I have been panicking about the fact I have fallen in love with you for a few months and you drop this on me? I love you too Rick, I’m sorry because we said we wouldn’t but I do. I don’t feel bad about it either,” you say softly, hoping that he understands just how willing you are to do this with him.

He shifts closer to you, brushing a soft kiss against your lips, both of you pouring all of your emotions into your kiss, getting all these new emotions out towards one another. Neither of you pressure each other, taking your time to softly enjoy each other's embrace.

Slowly one of his hands works its way under the hem of your shirt, leaving light touches on your stomach before it makes its way up towards your chest, teasing your nipple gently. Rolling it between his fingers until it becomes a stiff peak before moving on towards the other one, wanting to slowly bring you back in the mood. To show you just how much he loves and enjoys your body, to pour all these new emotions into each other.

You shift, moving your hips against his, both of you slowly starting to grind on each other as you shamelessly make out with each other like a couple of needy highschoolers.

He shifts slightly so that you are now underneath him, moving his lips so they settle on the soft skin of your throat. Leaving soft kisses before he settles in your sweet spot, the one he knows gets you going but that you have never let him mark before.

“Please, just this once. Let me leave my mark, show everyone that you are mine,” he whispers softly in your ear. You shift at his words, knowing that you will enjoy it if you let him And would having to leave your hair down for a few days at work be that bad?

You nod, letting out a sigh when you feel his smile against your skin before his lips settle against your neck again, this time nipping and sucking at your sweet spot. Him growing even more hard as he hears your breathing change, the little whimpers that fall out of your lips without you being aware of it. And each time you shift your hips they rub against him, another bonus of him working you up like this. He lets out a sigh, pulling away and looking at the darkening mark that now graces the juncture of where your shoulder and neck meet.

You shift again, moving so that you are side by side so that you can reach down between the two of you, taking his hardened length in your hand so that you can gently stroke him, give him a little pleasure like he has given you already, wanting to get him fully hard for you.

His lips find yours again, pulling you into another heated and needy kiss as you continue to work him with your hand until his rests over yours, stopping you.

“I want you to ride me baby, please?” he asks you softly, moving to slip his shirt off of you that you had put on earlier after you two fucked the first time for the evening. His hands settle on your hips as he rolls the two of you over, pulling you on top of him this time.

You slowly move so that you are straddling his hips, slowly easing yourself down on top of him as you both let out a sigh. Suddenly feeling closer to him than you ever have before as you rock your hips on his, slowly, in no hurry to finish this out. His hands leave your hips, slowly sliding up your torso to settle on your breasts, kneading them before they start to tweak your nipples, making them hard under his hands.

You let out a sigh, the feeling of his hands on you as he slowly slides in and out of you sends shivers down your spine, somehow more pleasurable than usual despite it being so much slower than either of you are used to. You move, getting a little more needy as you lean down to capture his lips in a kiss again.

This is something else that is new for the two of you as well, the two of you have avoided kissing each other too much while you have sex to avoid bringing emotions and intimacy into the act. So this simple act brings so much more to what the two of you are doing that you are used to. His lips move against yours needy, searching for something, and you can only hope that you are providing what he needs.

His hands settle on your hips again, this time stopping you as he flips your position, now he is over the top of you. Looking down at you with such a gentle gaze that you almost don’t recognize the look in his eyes.

As he begins to thrust inside of you, rougher than what you were doing with him he reaches down between the two of you so that he can rub your clit. You have gotten him so close that he needs you to fucking cum, not wanting to finish without you.

“Fuck, you feel so good wrapped around me. Like you were fucking made for me,” he groans out as he continues to bring you closer and closer to the edge. “Please, baby cum for me.”

You let go just like he asked, your orgasm hitting you harder than it normally does as you fall over the edge. Instinctively holding him close to you as you do, him giving a few more thrusts before he falls over it with you. Finishing inside of you with a couple final movements before he stills, neither of you saying a word.

You still have your arms wrapped around him, now pulling his slightly panting form down to you so that you can leave a few more soft kisses on his lips, not wanting the emotions you currently feel to go away. Scared that if you let him move that things will go back to how they were before, that he will say it was a mistake and he didn’t mean to say what he did to you.

He shifts, moving off of you so that he can pull you close to him. Able to tell that right now you need the reassurance that things are how they are supposed to be between the two of you.

“You’re overthinking again,” he says softly with a chuckle. “I can tell.”

“Sorry, I just didn’t expect things to go this well when I said that things have changed. Now I don’t know what to think,” you admit softly, nuzzling your face in his neck as you curl up beside him, listening to the rain and thunder in the background.

“Don’t think, yes they have changed but in a positive way… what do you say that when this storm lets up tomorrow morning we go out on our first actual date, I think we have a lot to learn about each other considering we skipped that stage,” he says softly, leaving teasing ticklish touches along your sides. He hopes that the tickles will make you smile, a smile forming on his own lips when it works.

“That sounds nice… Can we cuddle and listen to the rain for now though?” You ask softly, happy when he agrees. You turn so that you can face the window again, so you can watch the rainfall and the lightning again. This time with a pair of warm arms wrapping around you, pulling you into his chest.

The rain washes away your doubts about whether this could work or not, washing away your anxieties and insecurities. It washes away so much… but all for a good reason.

#motionless in white #fanfiction #bree sucks at fanfiction #motionless in white imagine #miw #miw band #ricky olson smut #ricky olson fanfic #ricky olson fanfiction #ricky olson imagine #ricky horror imagine #ricky horror olson #Ricky olson angst #ricky olson x reader

61 notes · View notes

bellaxgiornata · 1 month

Note

Do you have any tips for fast and efficient writing? I’m always impressed with how quickly and consistently you seem to churn out good quality chapters. Occasionally, I get “in the zone” and manage to really stay on top of my updates, but other times, it feels like pulling teeth. I worry that I sometimes sacrifice quality just to be able to put out an update. I want to stay consist for my readers, but that requires about 4000 to 5000 words a week, which is tough for me on top of a full time job! Any suggestions?

Oh, this is a good question! And thank you, I'm glad to hear you think my stories are consistent and of good quality! I will say that what works for me probably isn't always going to work for others, and I'm also aware that I'm in a unique position of being a stay at home mom. So when kids nap, I get free time to write. When my toddler starts preschool next week and the baby naps, if I've finished my adulting chores for the day, I get to write. Usually y'all don't have those opportunities at work--especially not daily. I'll also sometimes write in the evening before bed if I'm really feeling it (though while pregnant I had been too tired to do that for months). Honestly a lot of it depends on how much time you are able to write, and for me, I do actually spend quite a few hours a week writing and editing. Probably a lot more than people realize...

I'll put the rest of my response below the cut though because I know this is going to be long!

The first thing I did that really helped me keep churning out updates was to stop requiring myself to reach a minimum word count for them. I don't write with the pressure of needing to reach a specific amount per chapter, rather I focus on what needs to happen in an update. If the draft seemed a bit short, I'd come back later and edit in more detail or dialogue or another scene or something that fit and it usually filled things a little more without seeming unnecessary. Removing that pressure of reaching a specific word count really helps I think. And 4,000-5,000 words a week with a full time job is honestly a lot to plan out, write, and then edit consistently!

Secondly, I have multiple stories to work on. Now I definitely don't recommend this because then you'll get overwhelmed, but I do often hit a block in a fic sometimes and instead of just writing something I don't like and posting it or completely stepping away and not writing, I write something else. It keeps me in the habit of doing it so that I don't just suddenly stop. But obviously, I can't consistently update the same fics over and over, I tend to jump around. I think what might be better is maybe taking a step away and working on a one shot or something if you're struggling with a scene or a chapter. For me, sometimes what I need to write in a story is not what I'm feeling at the moment--angst, fluff, smut, whatever--and so I go write something I am feeling instead. Usually that helps unblock what's in my head, especially if I want to write smut for example, but the characters in the story I'm writing cannot realistically have me throw that in at that point.

Lastly, I think taking the pressure off of yourself to update on a schedule might be helpful. I know, it's hard to not update regularly and you might feel like you're disappointing readers, but we aren't getting paid for this. If you start pressuring yourself, you're going to burn yourself out and fanfic won't be fun anymore. It'll feel like work. And who wants to spend their free time working with no pay? So if you can get a nice long chapter up every week for a bit, but then suddenly you're struggling and it takes a few weeks for an update? That's okay. Your readers will still be here. And new ones will always appear if some have moved on.

Honestly I think as writers we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to consistently post, but it's not realistic. Like I said, I'm in a unique position of often finding moments to write because of what I do for work. That's not the norm for everyone. I struggle to update fics sometimes myself, which is why you might see some stories go months without an update, but I just update other things in the meantime. But if I only had one story, you'd definitely see me having weeks where nothing comes out because the words for that just aren't coming or they're not coming out right.

Hopefully some of this helped at all! But really, I think removing the pressure of writing is the biggest issue to tackle. Whether its your posting schedule or your word count, the pressure really gets to you. Especially if you're reaching the day you might usually post and you don't have something you feel is ready, then maybe you start to stress or panic and are rushing to get something done. That's just not fun though! Fanfic should be fun!

#bella answers #writing tips #i struggle with updates too #its just hard to see among the massive amount of ongoing fics i work on

15 notes · View notes

slytherinshua · 4 months

Text

I think cause I’m so stressed w school but still want to post I’m finally gonna focus on all the reqs in my inbox instead of my own brain thinking of fic ideas cause it’s so fried rn lol (watch me not follow through w this later on 🧍‍♀️) also just let me ramble for a bit this isn’t rly important but it’s just my thoughts as an author here on the blr.

(long rly pointless ramble abt requests and inboxes and blogs and writing etc etc under the cut if my thoughts don’t make sense at all it’s cause it’s 2 am shush)

like I love requests so much I love sharing brainrot and being able to write a fic for someone and making them happy w my writing it’s the whole reason I started writing in the first place. but I just love my own brain and the fics that I come up with on my own as well and I think it’s rly important for writers to consistently write things that their own brain thought of and write them just because they want to. I’ve seen writers put sm pressure on themselves to complete requests and I totally understand that but I kinda hate how they even feel that pressure in the first place bcuz it takes away the joy of writing and you find yourself unable to even think of what to write anymore cause it’s become associated with the stress of “getting it done” like some sort of school assignment. requests can be such a blessing and a way to connect a fandom more and build a community and even a little family within a blog but it can also be so stressful. feeling bad that you’ve taken too long to finish a request, having anons harass you in your inbox for not writing their request “quickly enough”, and the general entitlement ppl have adopted when they’re literally asking— ASKING someone else to do something FOR THEM. I don’t experience this too often and I don’t want any of the people who have sent me requests to feel bad for sending them in, trust me I LOVE the requests. but I do wonder sometimes if ppl on my blog wonder why I take so long to finish requests and why I never close them either lmao. cause it is quite different from all my moots’ blogs and majority of blogs on tumblr that I’ve seen… and I just think I always want to have that option for readers to spill their thoughts into a request without the pressure or expectation that it’s going to be answered quickly. closing and opening inboxes is an amazing way to work through requests systematically and consistently while also not getting bogged down by too many. and I think readers probably like that system(?) cause it’s a higher chance of their request getting done quickly! (and to those readers who send out the same request to a bunch of different authors idk WHY you do this idc if it’s just bcuz you wanted to see how we would all interpret it differently, honestly fuck you. bcuz it just feels so empty and pointless like you don’t actually care abt us as authors and our writing but just want to see how fast an author can get your idea written and posted. it’s like you’re using us as machines and testing who will be the fastest and who will stay on the loading screen the longest. it’s so disappointing tbh. and maybe this is also why i enjoy writing for lesser known groups bcuz when I get a request it’s so precious to me i know that the reader sent it in bcuz they actually like my writing and know I’ll be able to write for a group that they love that not many other ppl write for. despite the fact that I won’t get more than 10-30 notes for a fic from a nugu group doesn’t mean that it is less rewarding.)

but then again I’ve also seen readers ignore the authors rules stating that requests are closed or get mad that they are and it’s just… sigh… we are literally writing for free for your enjoyment, we spend hundreds of hours writing these fics whether they are “good” or “bad” they still take time and effort and love and a whole lot of brainpower and googling of synonyms and staring blankly at the two sentences you’ve written before switching tabs and procrastinating for 2 hours only to come back and finish in one flurry of motivation lmao. but for me having my inbox always open and welcome for requests feels like it’s actively counteracting the expectations for writers to pump out fics like some sort of machine to feed their audience while only getting blank likes as a return (this is truly JUST my thoughts and how I view it I’m not trying to say how I do things is better or how others work their blog is wrong or anything like that. if ur a writer and u rly focus on getting ur requests done lowkey I admire u cause I do still feel some guilt looking at requests I have sitting in my inbox from like last year although I am happy and content w my system and feel that it does put the focus on me and my creativity and less on the pressure to take others ideas and make a fic for them with the side effects of time pressure and guilt for not following through if that makes sense.) all that rambling is to say that now that brain is so focused on tasks that are much more important and I have less time to think of silly little delusions, having these requests sitting in my inbox waiting for me is rly nice :) and I’m rly excited to complete more of them cause most of you have given me rly rly amazing fic ideas <3

#﹒zanna speaks　𓈃　ⵌ #why is this more words than some of my fics yikes #I am a yapper at heart #and I have so much to say just on this stupid little website and the way it works #anyway I hope this makes sense #don’t expect it to resonate with anyone but who knows maybe it will #I just want to thank ppl for requesting and to encourage more requests in the future as well #bcuz getting them and having them to fall back on when I want to write and don’t have ideas of my own is so nice #and as long as there’s no harassment in my inbox abt me not completing the requests or having ‘favourite’ reqs #we are all good and happy here

19 notes · View notes

silly-guy-123 · 9 months

Text

Mostly platonic but with a hint of romance if you squint

Anyway.

Badsansuary Day 4 - Compliments

Horror x Reader

(Also the rest of the Bad Sanses are here but they aren't the main focus)

“you look nice today,” Horror said.

The end.

JUST KIDDING!!!

It was surprisingly hot outside today, considering that it was winter. You weren't a fan of the heat when it went on for too long, but today you welcomed the change from freezing cold to somewhat warm.

You might even be able to go outside today without feeling like you're going to get frostbite.

But alas, you had nobody to spend the day with…

Actually. You did.

You almost forgot that you had friends, which was embarrassing.

Anyway, you got dressed in clothing appropriate for the weather. And you made sure to bring a jacket, just in case it got cold again.

One could never be too prepared.

Then you went outside, sending your friends a quick text that practically demanded they show up. But it was worded politely. You were so amazing at making things sound polite when you needed to.

Anyway. You had plans today.

A picnic!

You had been tracking the weather for several days in order to hopefully find a day warm enough for it.

You had prepared a bunch of snacks the day before.

So you were really hoping that your friends would show up.

You just had to wait.

Eventually your waiting payed off, because you could see the cracked skull of your best friend, Horror, along with your other skeleton friends, Dust, Killer, and Nightmare.

Yeah. All of your friends were skeletons. So what? They were better than everyone else. Even if they were a bunch of murderous hobos.

You had the picnic set up already. So there wasn't really a rush. You decided to have a bit of a conversation first.

“Can you believe how warm it is today?” You asked.

Nightmare just frowned. “Yes. I am, quite literally, seeing it with my own eyes.

“No need to be such a buzzkill!” You teased playfully, turning to the rest of the group. You opened your mouth to speak, but Dust interrupted you.

“don’t even start. we came here for a picnic, not a one hour rambling session,” he said grumpily, but there was a smile on his face.

Killer put his elbow on Dust's shoulder, leaning on him. “Awww, come on, you know, I think listening to them talk about the types of plants and their differences is fun. Why don't they tell us about it, hmm?”

“noooo!!” Dust said, pretending to be mortally wounded.

Horror just chuckled, “thanks for this, muffin. we all needed a break. you're the best.”

You tried to laugh it off, not used to being complimented so highly. “Haha! Anyway, let's eat, I guess.”

And so you all sat down for a picnic, and began to eat. Once the meal was finished, everyone appeared to be content.

“you made that? wow, thought ya bought it from a store or somethin’, ‘s really good.” Horror grabbed a second helping.

There was a chorus of agreement from everyone else except Nightmare, who preferred to just watch.

“Thank you everyone,” You said, trying to hide your embarrassment. You just liked to cook. You didn't need to be complimented for it.

Nightmare looked at his watch. “Oh. It's nearly 6pm. The sun will be going down soon.” He looked at you. “Hate to cut this short, but we must be going now.”

You understood. You just nodded, and went to pick everything up. Horror decided to help you, and you both went inside to put everything away.

“i meant what i said, muffin,” Horror said, “you really are the best.”

You began to blush, and decided to kick him out.

“Okayyyyyy, time to stop the unnecessary praise for something so simple! Bye bye!!! Stay safe everyone!!”

You said this after shoving Horror out of the house (you weren't actually shoving him, he only left because you seemed insistant) and waving at everyone before they left.

What a good day.

____________________

Horror belongs to Sour Apple Studios,

Dust belongs to Ask Dusttale

Killer belongs to Rahafwabas (I hope I didn't spell that wrong 😭)

Nightmare belongs to Jokublog

#badsansuary #horror x reader #bad sanses #dust sans #horror sans #killer sans #nightmare sans #mostly platonic #fanfiction #my writing

27 notes · View notes

kageygreye-skies · 3 months

Text

didn’t think chappell roan would impact me SO much after finding her and her artistry but she kind of literally made me fully accept that i was a lesbian and showed me there’s space for me in the community LMFAO.

allow me to take you on a fuckin journey lmfao. heres a lil story about a recent revelation about my identity that dominoed from listening to the rise and fall of a midwest princess. lol

i found chappell technically whenever she released pink pony club lol i just had never processed it was her. (i listened to midwest princess for the first time a long while who and when it got to ppc, i paused my phone, and yelled, “THAT WAS HER? THE WHOLE TIME??”), her pop sound and drag visuals were something i found refreshing and exciting. discography went triple platinum in my household fr.

watching a lesbian drag queen rise in the public has been so lovely to see, as a queer singer myself. watching that same woman be so open about her experience as a lesbian, pay homage to other gay individuals and icons, turn down the white house for a pride performance, perform at prides in states where lgbt rights are consistently under threat,,, its beyond inspiring to me! and reminds me to remember what i really want to do with my career as a performer and the people i want to lift up and pay my respects to.

this ultimately caused me to want to brush up on the queer history i knew and start learning about the history i didnt. at that time my focus veered to history about lesbians.. because i wanted to search for lesbians that shared my experience.. if there were any that did.

i have had a strange relationship with my gender and sexuality since i was 13, coming out first as bi at 15, and nonbinary at 17 (although i experienced gender dysphoria long before then). i have used the nonbinary label since, but my sexuality was something i was never sure i could settle on. i flipped between id’ing as bi and lesbian for months until i just stopped using labels so i didnt have to think abt that shit anymore😭

the term lesbian was what felt the most right to me, after years of periods of trying to convince myself that if i jump through strange loopholes and squint a little, that i could potentially like a man. i would worry and think things like, “what if im wrong and i just havent found one that i can maybe like? what if there actually is a boy who is exactly like the idealized anime-ass version of boys in my head who is also soft and girlie and would wear matching dresses with me?” i would have to use plenty of implausible what ifs just to entertain the idea. i did this even despite the fact that i cannot and do not picture a future with a man, i have only questioned my physical attraction to men when they “look like girls,” i am almost always slightly grossed out when men express sexual attraction to me, and have not had any kind of intimacy with guys where i didnt feel almost completely disconnected. i didnt find men fulfilling. it took me very long to realize that if i have to literally FORCE myself into liking them…i dont like them lol.

i have never had to question my attraction to women, butches + femmes,, ever. i could spend hours writing both prose, poetry, music, screenplays,, just fuckin dissertation after dissertation about women.. and sometimes it has taken me hours to list at least 5 reasons of “why i like this guy” that didnt involve him reminding me of a woman. guys, the comphet.. was rough. very grateful i have a therapist lol

once i accepted again that i was definitely solely sapphic, i still felt my more-than-partial disconnect from womanhood excluded me from being able to claim the lesbian label, despite how right it began to feel. i was also worried that the people around me would think i was completely detransitioning to cis,, which definitely was not the case. although i am fine with feminine gendered terms and pronouns, and while my expression and interests lean slightly more feminine, my relationship with “womanhood” has always been messy and complicated. i remember first-ish experiencing dysphoria around when i was 11, although i didnt know what that meant at the time. for as long as i can remember, the concept of “being a woman” was not something i felt was entirely me.

i knew there were lesbians that were gender non conforming, but i was not at all aware of the intertwining of lesbianism and gender identity until i began reading more about lesbian history. realizing there have always been lesbians outside of the binary (the popular sunset lesbian flag was designed by emily gwen, a nonbinary lesbian), people who used lesbian/butch as their gender identity, cis lesbians who use pronouns other than she/her, lesbians who use/have used hrt (like me i used hrt for 2 years👋🏾😀) lesbians who bind or pursue top surgery… they were always there. i am halfway through the stone butch blues now and it has actually changed my life. not only did it increase my already overflowing gratitude for my lesbian and queer elders and their experiences… but it made me really realize there has always been a space for me. when that sank in.. i felt immense relief. and then i cried for a fuckin LONG ass time lmao

since all of this i have felt a lot more sure of myself, and have embraced myself in a way i think i have always struggled to before.

so to recap… i am a lesbian. and its pretty rad. and i also love chappell roan. she reminds me of all the reasons why i love being queer and is someone i want to look up to as i continue in my finally-starting-to-go-somewhere career as a performer. one day we will collab and ill tell her all of this in person (watch out yall! it will happen i can sense it😤)

#thank you to the 2 people that will read this lol #idk i feel like i just re came out even tho i told ppl i was a lesbian months ago lol #lesbian #lesbian community #lesbian pride #lesbian positivity #pride #pride month #nonbinary lesbian #nonbinary #stem lesbian #chappell roan #chappell

8 notes · View notes

olderthannetfic · 2 years

Note

This got very long and i understand if you delete without reading.

Earlier this year, I decided that I wanted to spend less time on social media and more time writing and catching up on my book/show backlog. But for some reason any time I say something about wanting to focus on my hobbies I get push back from a friend as if that translates to me avoiding them (it's not. I talk to them on a daily basis but a lot of that is them sending me videos/tweets they want me to look at) I don't know how to explain that I don't want to waste my minute free time when I have hobbies I want to work on/indulge in.

They're in Fandom too so it's not as if they're confused at the concept. IDK how to put it, but it makes me feel discouraged that I feel like I'm expected to sit around waiting in case they want to chat and that if I say I'm working on something it's not important and I need to pay attention to them now but if I message them then I'm interrupting because they don't want to have to stop what they're doing to answer me. This leads to me doomscrolling Twitter because at any second they might want to talk so I feel like I can't do anything else because I struggle at multitasking. I can't text someone and watch something at the same time or whatever.

I don't know what to do about this because when I try to mention that I'm busy or working on something it gets ignored or turns into an argument. I am at the point where I dread my messenger going off.

I'm asking you and your followers for any tips because I am at my wit's end and you all have always been an understanding bunch.

I don't want to be a hermit but sometimes I need a couple of hours to write or read on my own. This is someone I have known for years who i know very well so it's not as simple as "take a break from Fandom and do your own thing" though I suppose that is what my goal was this year. Which makes it feel worse because for years we were really supportive of each other's interests/creative works and now it feels more like I'm meant to be supportive of them and not the other way around.

I know this was long, so thank you for even reading it. I appreciate even being able to vent safely.

As I read over this to make it as vague as possible it occurs to me there are multiple issues that just came pouring out. 😑 but. . .how do I get someone to understand I should have SOME time to do my own thing? I am starting to feel like they forgot I'm a separate person from them. They even get upset that I write fic for fandoms they aren't in and I am so very tired of feeling like I need to walk on eggshells.

"This got very long and i understand if you delete without reading."

This sounds very unlike me.

Re the situation, it sounds to me like these friends are either not very good friends in the first place or have backslid into "everyone exists to comfort me" due to pandemic stress or the like.

My dad calls things like writing "chunk work" where you need to work up to getting in the flow and you need uninterrupted focus. The opposite are all those petty little tasks that eat your whole day, like answering trivial business e-mails or doing the dishes.

Whether you have an attention disorder or executive function problems or no, most brains fundamentally have different modes and aren't good at doing things like creative writing without some uninterrupted time. This has very little to do with how much time you do or don't spend with friends and a lot to do with more consciously managing your day and your brain.

If these friends refuse to understand this or conflate it with taking a month off from friendship, that's a them problem, and you need new friends.

It's perfectly normal and fine to send a meme or a random discord PM to a friend and for them to respond hours later because they were busy.

It seems like there are actually 3 things going on here:

Your "friends" are pretending they don't understand how high-focus tasks work.

Your "friends" demand you be available at the drop of a hat in a way that is unrealistic and that ruins most people's schedules.

Your "friends" would consider it a massive imposition to be on-call for you in the same way but learn zero lessons about it being unreasonable in the other direction.

Possibly a fourth is that they have no intention of changing how they interact with social media, and they know that if you do, it signals the end of your routine interactions. And this might be true. I've lost friends, at least for a few years, when our internet use diverged.

But there's no way around it: if you don't want doomscrolling eating your time, you need to extract yourself from friend circles that interact heavily in real time on twitter. You need friends who write e-mails and wait for the response or who send a PM and are happy to come back to the conversation once you've answered.

82 notes · View notes

vikygoestheextramile · 6 months

Text

I had a slip up.

Well, I don't know that this is exactly the term for it, but I had successfully been using a daily routine to keep my efforts on track for about two weeks. So, last Thursday my routine was disrupted, as it was a sort of holiday here in Greece, the point of which is "Eat all the meat in sight before the 40day lent starts!". Of course, almost no one is doing lent for 40 days after it, but almost everyone consumes meat like it's the last time they get to. 😅 More of an eating tradition than a holiday at this point, and boy, do we get many of those in Greece!

Despite everything, I didn't overeat that day, I think everything was under control, but we did spend the night at my family home, with my partner. And guess what? You can't really perform your daily routine if you're not in your space! So I couldn't do my morning yoga, which I had been doing for 15 days straight. I thought, well, it doesn't matter, and I grabbed the opportunity to go on a hike, on a nearby mountain. It was about a 3 hour walk, and I absolutely loved every moment of it.

So after all this, I thought eating just a bit more yesterday, was okay, missing morning yoga, missing the gym that day, was okay.

But this little slip up gave me an opportunity to stretch the imperfect day, to a couple of days, and then to 3 or 4!

My partner, right now he seems to be even more prone to junk food than I am, so it makes it a bit harder for me to resist, when he doesn't, or when he invites it in. But, luckily, this only lasted 4 or 5 days. We both felt that we didn't need to be in that mental space that consuming junk food was creating for us, even if you exclude the reaction of the body completely.

But, unfortunately for my routine, on Monday I started an acting seminar. It's going great, and I'm really excited about it, BUT in terms of holding on to the routine, it's not helping, as it involves a commitment of 5 hours a day, 10am to 3pm, Monday through Friday, plus the extra work we need to put in at home, which is A LOT.

When I expressed my concerns to my therapist, about losing my routine when I start the 3-week seminar, she told me that I should focus on holding on to one or two components of my routine, and not try to do the whole thing, or, on the flipside, just completely cut it out until the course is finished.

So, these two elements combined led to me losing progress, as I gained 0,8kg, but most importantly, I lost control of my day-to-day, for the entirety of this past week. I just went through the motions, nothing more.

Today, a Saturday with no class, and, as I've been trying to get back on the horse, before it bolts into the woods and I can never find it again, I made a move.

I got up, I made my bed, I put my workout clothes on, and I rolled out the mat. And I went on youtube and I did the next practice of the 30-day Yoga Journey I'm taking, which is the one below. "Reset". And sweet Adriene, the instructor, said at the start of the video: "Today we take the opportunity to celebrate that we're halfway through the journey", which on its own made me smile, as I felt a sense of achievement for actually having done the first two weeks of the journey, even if they were before the slip-up, it was all the more reason to remember that this, all of it, it's something that I can do, but she went on to say "and we also take the opportunity to hit the reset button", and I teared up. I was resetting on my own anyway, and not exactly by choice, but I felt not alone, I felt like she was giving me an opportunity for a fresh start, although it doesn't need to be that, it only needs to be an invitation to continue where we left off, and that it was, as my body was fully able to answer the call. Nothing was gone, and it was all there.

So, I guess, onwards (and upwards) we go!

Home - Day 15 - Reset | 30 Days of Yoga

youtube

#personal fitblr #personal #ywa #yogawithadriene #yoga with adriene #find what feels good #fwfg #fitblr problems #fitblr #healthblr #Youtube

9 notes · View notes

originalwinnercheesecake · 1 year

Text

The Owl House Watching and Dreaming Analysis. (Spoilers)

Its over. Its been around 3 years and now its over. Well like Luz says its time for a new chapter now. The majority of my tag is posts about the owl house, and now I have to find a new thing to post on. I like Molly Magee, but so far not enough to spend hours typing out analysis and theories. I got into Ducktales 2 years late and, it has me going through Disney plus to find more shows about the wacky highjinks of the duck family, so if that corner of the Disney fandom is still alive maybe I will pop in their from time to time. I also happen to like a few live action shows.

But before that I want to close out the owl house with 1 (possibly a coupe more posts). This one is my recount and review of the Owl Houses final episode, and will focus on the families and connections at the end, as I feel they were the most important part of the episode, Warning long post and spoilers below.

I will start off with talking about Meeting Kings father and what we learned about Titans. We have comfirmation now that Titans do not have spouces/mates and reproduce Asexually. King’s dad did not object to being refered to as Dad, but was term wise both his dad and mom. Two things: 1 does this mean King (who doesn’t need labels right now because he is only 8) will grow up to be aroace, like Lilith? 2 this is confirmation that he will still be able to become a parent 1 day, which I am glad about, because we know he will outlive Eda, Lilith, and Luz and this way we know he will still be able to have a family again after they pass on. Also we now have confirmation that the baby titan skulls in the trapers room were kings brothers and sisters. Were the Full grown ones his oldest siblings or were they his dad’s siblings. Also the owl beast. I knew it...they? Were a titan, and that were were probably the last living one Bill mentioned since king as an egg couldn’t cry or run, and was still being hidden. At first I thought they might be his parent, but it looks like they are actually either his older sibling or his aunt/uncle... They are still inside his mom and aunt, so they are a part of his life.

So now on to King’s Dad as a parent. Because the Titans heart was still beating he actually was not completely gone. His spirit was alive in the in between realms and was watching over King, is shown to be delighted that his son found such a nice family to raise him, and is confirmed to have had a bit of a hand guiding Luz in how quickly she learned glyphs and wild magic. This all feels like methaphors for Heaven and Guardian Angels. I do not know what Dana belives or if she belives in anything. She certainly hasn’t been shy about making metaphors to the bad parts of religon/christianity. But i am glad she also made these refrences loving and positive. They can be comforting to those that have lost loved ones.

Now on to the Collector. First the older collectors aren’t his gaurdians, they are his older siblings. From their point of view the war between titans and collectors was just them being mean and breaking their baby brothers toys. Okay, they are jerks, and it was a horrible thing to do, but okay the show didn’t go full on SU diamonds parasitic route. This makes me feel a bit better about how our collectors arc ended. King’s family and He forgave each other and are good friends, the collector is confirmed to come visit them from time to time, but he went back to the Star’s to finish growing up. His siblings better feel bad about him having been stuck in thousand year time out because of them, and better leave his new friends alone now. Him going back was one of the three options I felt were possible and while not perfect I genuienly do think it was the best one. The collector was ultimelty to powerful to live on the isles full time without hurting someone, and with all the repairs and rebuilding needed to be done Eda and Raine did not have the time needed to watch him as much as he needed.

No lets go on To Luz. She moved back to the Human realm to live with her mother and sister, and graduate from earth school in graves field. It also looks like Camila was able to eventually forge the documents needed to adopt Vee in the human realm and send her to school with Luz. But we can see that a permenent portal was opened at the old house (how can Camila afford two houses on her single parent vetenairy income? Did she pay in snails and the seller think she had gold?). Luz, Camilia, and eventually Vee (wonder how long that took) made visitations to the demon realm. Luz had the option to chose which realm she wanted to live in once she grew up. It also looks like Eda got upgraded from being Luz’s temporary host parent to being like a God mothe rto her. Camila will always be Luz’s real mother, but Eda still getting to stay in their lives as support is for the best. Camilia and Luz went through so much when Manny died and they were struggling to deal with it by themsleves. I said in an earlier post that I believe the owl house to ultimately be about finding a community that is suportive of you. Camila, Luz, and Vee did not have that before, but they do now.

Now on to Hunter. So the final hints very strongly that he was adopted by Darius, not Camila, and not Eda (who FYI had no positive interactions with Hunter and should not have been considered as heavily as she was by fans). This again makes the most sense. While watchig Thanks to them when Hunter is mentioned to be happy and doing well in the human world I was like “Alright the story still works great if Hunter becomes Hunter Noceda. Darius can just be a mentor to him if he goes back to the iles in summers”. But then when he described the life he wanted at the end of the episode I was confused because everything he said was things he could only do in the demon realm. He wanted to go back perminently. I doubt Camila will ever want to fully live in the demon realm, Luz did probably need to live in both worlds until she was an adult to fully make a fair choice, and you know it took months/years for Vee to step foot there. I still hope Camila got to be Hunters God mom or was in his life as a surogate Aunt. Hey Darius and Eberwolf are implied to have become like Police officers, dedicated to stoping suporters of Belos’s system fromt trying to reinstate it. It thoretically could have been possible that they would be away for stretches and Hunter would need another adult to stay with some of the time.

Reminder of what Darius and Hunter’s relationship was like since a lot of it had to develop off screen. Darius and Hunter are strongly hinted to have started spending more time together post ASIAS, by Hollow Minds Darius had grown so fond of Hunter that he was ready to abort his cover to help him. When Hunter ran away from the EC Darius is confirmed to have tracked him down to ensure he was safe, and Hunter was comfortable leaving his hiding place to go on a mission Darius gave him (protect Luz while she went to break Amity out of the manor). Hunter was very worried/scared when he saw Darius on the stage at the Day of Unity. Also while Hunter did not put Darius’s picture on the wall he started sewing every piece of fabric he could find in the Noceda’s basement and would talk about how this was something he practiced with Darius. So he clearly missed him, but I do not think he realized how much Darius and Eberwolf missed HIM until they came looking for him after waking up. On the subject of Eberwolf and Hunter, I have seen the headcannon that Eberwolf calls Hunter pup/cub but can we as a fandom please come up with a term Hunter uses for Eberwolf. there is no way they call each other “Uncle” and “Nephew”. Those are definitly trigger word for Hunter.

Also the Blue bird Palisman Hunter eventually carved himself. I am glad its a bird, because Hunter had Palisman as therapy/support animals and birds were the animal he was most comfortable with. I want to name his new bird Bananas. Since Bananas, like Flapjacks, were a human food he was unfirmilar with in the demon realm. I am also so glad that show let him grieve Flapjack and take his time before getting a new palisman. Flapjack was Hunters biggest support during his darkest time and I was so afraid that they would trivialize his lose due to the shortened season. But no not only did they give him a grave that got visitited, not only did Hunter get a tattoo of Flapjack, but so did Willow and Luz, maybe Gus and Amity as well. Flapjack was so loved and so missed, as he should be.

On to Alador x Darius. I ship the couple but I am so glad how it was handled, with them basically being confirmed to not get together for another 3-4 years. As cute as their dynamic is, it would have been extstreamly problamatic for them to get together soon after the battle with Belos. Alador was just getting out of a long, abusive, marriage. While we do not get a chance to fully explore Darius’s character and what caused him to close himself off from his old friends, we know he was working through some things and closing a chapter on a mission that had been a big focus f his life. Not to mention that both men had teenagrs who had been tramatized and needed/deserved to be their dad’s full focus for the time being. So for that I am glad we did not get the Blight-Deammone step family.

One kinda nice twist was that Alador decided he wanted to build medical machines and Emira was the child that ended up working with him. Emira was the child who seemed to have the least in common with Alador so I liked that they eventualy had something they could do together. A stranger surprise was Amity and Lilith’s reunion, and the strong hints that they started working together again and bonded. Dana dropped them being Mentor and protage like a hot potato after Covention day and was quick to post that they were never close/did not like each other when asked. So its kinda strange that she suddenly had them start caring and tried to portray Lilith as a strong female figure in Amity’s life after her seperating completely from Odalia. This is the big thing I feel should have been either explored more or dropped.

Lastly reagrding the end credits; I am upset that for how many clips we saw of both Steve and Matt towards the end we did not get a single on of them reuniting or together. Come on Show Why. That said I love the jobs they were shown to have afterwards. I expected Steve to maybe get an internship/assistant job at the museum with Lilith, since they were such good friends. Seeing him, still friends with Lilith, but also with the Catt’s and working to rehabilitate other coven scouts was so much better. And finding out that Matt became a hotshot architectural designer on the isles is just perfect. Also I spent 3/4ths of the End credits going “Where is Gus. Do not leave him out of this time jump”. Then I find out he graduated early and was teaching students about the human realm at Eda, Raine, and Lilith’s new university. The little genius. They’re is no confirmation that he and Matt ever got together, but Oh well. Maybe they did and are just not into PDA? maybe did and broke up/were on a break? Maybe they only ever stayed friends? It was my second favorite ship (besides Lumity) but if it didn’t happen that’s okay.

All in All this was the owl house final. It was exciting, intense, it tied up lose ends,and gave our charcters ends that while not perfect, where the best they could have been. Good job Dana. Good Job Owl House Crew. Thank you for the show. Its helped me a lot with getting through the past 3 years.

58 notes · View notes

nine-of-words · 9 months

Text

Something Borrowed (Part Eight)

M Gargoyle x M Reader

PREVIOUS || STORY TAG || NEXT

Wordcount: 7843

Content Warnings: Discussion of a Breakup, Minor Knife Injury, Blood, Ophidiophobia, Non-Denominational Exorcism, Near Death Experience

Another update, another part that I let get out of hand on the wordcount. A slower part this time, at least up until the end. Just a few more parts to go now, and this story will actually be finished! :’)

The next week is, dare you say it, pleasant.

You don't want to jinx anything… but you think you might even be…

Happy?

It's a strange, foreign feeling, after spending so long licking your wounds and wallowing in your misery. It's just been so long since you've had hope for the future, that you almost forgot how light it felt. How good.

Sure, you're still cursed, but it seems trivial at this point. You've been talking to Carlyle every day like normal, and you even still saw him for his Tuesday work order, with seemingly no ill effects.

You might as well be dating already, really. Maybe that defeats the purpose of not labeling it, to be thinking that way? But it's such a nice thought, you just can’t stop yourself.

You'd just… like to be able to actually call him your boyfriend soon…

You find yourself planning future dates in the back of your mind as you go through the motions of serving your line of midday Saturday customers.

As if summoned by the strength of your daydreaming, the man in question appears at the threshold of your shop with the tinny jingle of the bell, not even a full hour later.

He came to see you? You weren’t expecting him at all today, but it’s certainly a welcome surprise. You feel your skin flush slightly around your cheekbones and ears, your heartbeat picking up at the mere sight of him.

What really catches your eye is the change in his wardrobe. You’ve only ever seen him in- and technically out of- a suit so far. He's comparatively dressed down for the weekend in a pink polo and khakis, but still impeccably neat and put together.

It’s a silly thing to get flustered over, you know it, but you catch yourself feeling giddy over seeing a new side of him. It’s amusing that even on a weekend, he’s still dressed like he’s going to walk into an office and not look out of place.

“I didn’t know you were planning on coming in today.” You beam at him when his position in line finally reaches the counter.

“Ah, I wish it was only for a social call. I’d love to spend the whole weekend with you if I could.” He sighs, the way his lips curl up at the edges making it clear he’s being genuine. “But I’m actually here on business, I suppose you could say. I wanted to make sure I said hi to you first, though. Seems rude to not.”

“...Hi.” You chuckle, nodding to his chest. “Some sort of business-casual business, it looks like?”

“Yes. Am I underdressed for this fine establishment?”

“Lady’s name, no-” You almost purr, your voice dripping with affection. “You clean up so bloody well, even out of a suit. I don’t know what else I expected.”

“Hah, you really know how to make a guy feel handsome.”

You're cherishing the pleased look on Carlyle's face from the compliment, until the sound of a customer who's gotten into line behind your not-quite-boyfriend-yet discreetly clears their throat.

Time to stop flirting and get back to work.

“Anything I could get for you?”

“Mmm. The usual is always appreciated.” He nods towards the table you had your first real conversation at, months ago now. “But I can see you're busy, so take as long as you need. I'll be over there.”

You somehow manage to get back to work, though the distraction makes it difficult, with how often you sneak a glance over at him.

You’re struggling to focus on decorating a cake that’s due later today when another (not unwelcome) distraction appears.

“I’m heeeeeeere~!!!” Kirby waves at you with a wide grin, then turns their attention towards where Carlyle is seated. “Oh good- you’re here already!! Punctual.”

In an effort to get your case finally solved, Kirby has been coming into your shop on Saturdays as well, despite it technically being one of their days off.

Seeing that you’re busy with a line, and clearly having some other pressing business, they take a seat at the table with Carlyle instead of their currently occupied, normal spot at the counter.

You'd be lying if you said it didn't make you feel a bit left out.

Thankfully for you, your shop is small enough for the conversation to carry on its own. Not that you’re actively trying to eavesdrop- though, given Kirby's glaring lack of an inside voice, you can't imagine a scenario where you'd have any trouble hearing their side of the conversation regardless.

“If this curse presents so much like poltergeist activity, why not contact a witch for assistance? Assumingly they’d be able to perform an exorcism.”

“Geeeeeez, why didn’t I think of that??” The faun slaps their hand to their forehead with a completely dumbstruck look on their face. “Sorry I just finished my first training lesson yesterday, so I guess I don’t have the hang of all this magic stuff yet, haha!”

“I feel like you’re being disingenuous.” Carlyle smirks, faint enough that you wouldn’t have noticed if you haven’t pored over his face quite a bit so far.

“Of course I tried to get a witch in here! I do actually know what I’m doing, you know. There’s no Bureau-sanctioned Witch Inquisitors available for months for ‘non-essential’ cases. Supposedly exploding cakes aren’t considered, like, a meaningful enough threat??? Exploding. Cakes. SUPPOSEDLY.” Kirby pointedly rolls their eyes. “I can’t just mark this unresolved and move on! There is clearly something wrong here! And there’s just. No. Way. I’m gonna leave him out to dry like that!”

You have to admit, overhearing that puts an instant smile on your face. You consider yourself lucky to have been assigned someone so invested in solving your case, let alone one that has become such a good friend to you.

Carlyle hums in approval as well.

“But HQ is all the way up my ass about this now because of it! The max time estimate for this sort of case is a month! It's been four!"

"That's not that bad of a timeline, honestly-"

"Aaaaargh! You people are all the same!" They grasp their head in their hands in despair, smooshing their ears flat, curls trembling like quivering leaves.

"You people?" Carlyle scoffs incredulously.

"Yeah, buddy! Lawyers!! You say like, two whole sentences to a judge and then go on a three hour recess! Some magi have to do actual field work, y’know!"

“Right, right.” Carlyle chokes back a laugh behind a closed fist under the guise of clearing his throat.

“When I say I’ve looked into everything I could think of, I mean everything. Investigated his ex- nothing. Mana type doesn’t match, and I pulled his bank statements and there’s no questionable activity that could be paying off a witch to do it. Unless he managed to SECRETLY pay someone with a wheelbarrow full of gold that never touched a bank; not him. Ex clients? I went back as far as his records went and then some! Nothing there either. And the exorcism potentially being faulty theory didn’t go anywhere either, all the paperwork’s there, even if the vibe in here is so off. I’m like, fully out of leads. It’s not a normal curse. I’m starting to think it’s not even a curse at all!! And it’s not a poltergeist- or a regular spirit, even- But it’s something. So what the hell is it?”

“Well, I’m sure we’ll come up with something.” Carlyle picks up another set of clipped papers from the table and starts skimming over them. “Two heads being better than one and all.”

Kirby simply groans, setting their forehead on the table with a dull thump.

It goes on like that for a while, with Carlyle reading in relative quiet aside from the odd question, which a deflated Kirby then answers.

“Well, you’re correct about it not seeming to be a normal curse, that much is certain. It could potentially be an unconventional sort of a geas- given the wording of the note it could constitute a very loose contract; But it’s unlikely if you have looked this far in and still haven’t found the source, even if you were looking for a curse at that point. …And I suppose we can’t completely rule out a poltergeist, either, until we get a witch in here. Even if the first ritual was performed correctly, there’s always the chance something changed.”

“Mhmm.”

“I know someone that can do an exorcism. I could call them, but they’re not exactly Bureau-affiliated. They have a license, of course- I suppose you could call them self-taught…”

“At this point I don’t care if their license is written in CRAYON, as long they’re legit!!”

The line is finally non-existent and the decorating is finished, so you swing by the table; sparkling juice for Kirby, coffee for Carlyle in his mug.

"Hey… How's it coming along?"

"Heeeeey." Kirby replies in a dull, muffled facsimile of their normal bright tone, forehead still planted against the tabletop.

"Oh, As well as it can be. Thanks for asking." Carlyle smiles at you warmly over the sheaf of papers he’s holding, loafered foot bobbing restlessly where it's crossed over his knee.

The papers he’s holding don’t even begin to account for the stacks in front of them, the entire tabletop covered with stacks of documents to the point you’re not even sure where you’re going to set down the beverages you’re holding.

“So, I take it the Bureau's taking volunteers now?”

“In an unofficial capacity.” Carlyle smirks and, mercifully seeing your predicament, starts carving out a space in the cluttered hoard of paper for the mug to go.

“I called him, I hope you don’t mind!!” Kirby chirps and finally lifts their head, looking a little brighter as they take their beverage. “I thought the extra help might be just what we need and he’s got just different enough of a specialty to offer some really good insight.”

“Good idea. I can’t think of two people I’d mind less digging around in my business.” You chuckle.

You take a seat and chat a little longer while you can, before a small end-of-day rush comes through and you’re once again forced to actually do your job.

Closing time comes and passes, and Kirby leaves for the night not longer after, with only Carlyle remaining in the front still poring over documents after close, with your blessing. You’re basically finished cleaning up the back for the night when you hear a knock of stone knuckles on the wooden door frame over the music you’ve been singing along to off-key.

Carlyle’s leaning slightly against the frame with a warm smile on his face. You didn’t even hear him walk up- you have to wonder how long he’s been there watching you work.

“I’ve been waiting to do this all day.” He gently grasps the back of your neck, pressing his lips to your smile and his waist to yours against the counter.

You feel much the same, but as you kiss him there’s a little prick of anxiety at the back of your mind and the faint weight on your chest is hard to ignore. But you find yourself sinking against his body regardless.

“Aah-” You barely get the words out when he trails across your cheek. ”Should we be doing this…?”

“Nothing’s happened yet, right?” The warm breath against your jaw makes it difficult to think about anything else.

The man has a point, and you steer his lips back to yours with renewed vigor.

Your head’s spinning in his heady familiar amber cologne and you’re losing track of time when you’re rudely knocked out of your bliss by a sudden noise.

CLANK-

Carlyle lurches back, and then there’s a loud metallic clatter on the tile. Your eyes follow the movement, seeing the shiny silver blur of an overturned cooking pot on the floor.

“Blazes- Carlyle!” You push off of the counter and raise your hands, ready to help in whatever way you can. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah- I must’ve caught that hanger with my horn, or something.” Carlyle winces sheepishly, rubbing the crown of his head and looking up at the metal overhead utensil hanger.

“Do you need some ice? Or-”

“No. No real harm done.” He waves the thought off with his other hand.

“If you’re sure.” You furrow your brow, holding his hand when he lowers it.

“Mmh… It is getting late though, so I suppose that’s my cue to make myself scarce. I still have some documents to read to get up to speed with your case, anyway.”

He sighs, rubbing your palm with his thumb.

“Right…”

“Unless you want me to stay. You know all you have to do is say the word.”

“...No, as much as I’d like that, you probably shouldn’t. I have a lot of orders going out early tomorrow morning and I’ll be too distracted to sleep if you stay, I think.”

You smile as you see him out, but you can’t help but feel lonely when you go to bed by yourself that night.

You need this curse to be lifted, so you can really be together.

A few weekends into this new routine, Kirby shows up early on Saturday morning, within minutes of your switching the open sign on.

“Morning. You’re here early! Not that I mind.” You quip happily, finishing the icing job on the last cupcake from the current batch for the case.

“Yeah… Hahah… About that- Okay. Soooooo. Don’t be mad... But I have some bad news.”

“Bad news…?” You wipe your hands on your apron in more of a nervous fidget than anything. “...Cupcake level bad news?”

“Uh-huh. I didn’t want to break it to you over the phone, y’know?”

You fetch two cupcakes from the case- one of each of your preferred flavors. Sure, it’s before noon, but you think you’ll both need it, if the news is that dire.

“So, I just got out of a meeting with my boss and I’m… Sorta kinda…” They wince and twirl their lowest hanging curl around their finger, stalling. “Maybe… Officially no longer working on your case? Because it's closed?”

They then immediately shove their cupcake into their mouth, taking nearly an entire half of the baked good off in one stress-fueled bite.

“...What?” When you manage to break your stunned silence and plop down onto the stool behind you, your voice is barely more than a hoarse croak. You nearly drop your cupcake, instead deciding to set it back down on the wrapper, any appetite you had suddenly gone.

You can feel tears starting to prick at the back of your eyes, not just from sadness but the pure embarrassment of being this affected by this news. You manage to hold them back, barely, but it’s difficult.

But what are you going to do now? You’re simply doomed to stay cursed forever? Nothing you tried on your own fixed it, and now even the professionals are leaving you out to dry, too?

Just accept you’re unfixable?

Now, when you actually have something to lose again?

“Aw, don’t look so sad!! I… I kinda knew this was coming. I couldn’t convince my boss to keep it open any longer since the investigation wasn’t going anywhere- But I’m NOT giving up on you! I’m still going to work on your case on my off time! I’m not stopping until this is fixed, I promise!!”

“Are you… even allowed to do that?” You say, only a hair's breadth away from sniveling.

“Pfft, who cares?! What’re they gonna do, fire me for working MORE? For FREE??” They shake their head, laughing and shrugging. “Nope! I’m too valuable for that, trust me!”

Any signs of worry that were showing through the cracks when Kirby first came in have been immediately banished, but you’re familiar enough with them now to notice that they’re merely squashing them down to support you, rather than the doubt being completely gone on their end.

“You don’t have to do that for me…” You laugh and wipe the corner of your eye, trying to maintain some of your composure. “I wouldn’t want you to overwork yourself because of me…”

“Haha- Yeah I do! That’s how this friendship thing works, if you’re not familiar! Sorry, not sorry.”

They’ve managed to cheer you up to the point of near-normalcy, distracting you with all the details of their most recent disastrous hookup, when your first real customer of the day comes in.

Devin walks in with her typical dreamy smile and if she notices the lingering vestiges of despair in the room, she’s acting blissfully unaware.

“Good morning!” She greets you as she approaches the counter, giving Kirby a friendly wave.

“Morning, Devin! Did you have an order in? I know you normally like to put it in beforehand, and I haven’t heard the order chime go off.” You double-check the datapad to confirm, but there’s nothing there.

She looks at you like a deer in headlights for a moment.

“...Oh, duh! I knew I forgot to do something before I walked here-” She exclaims, pulling out her device out of the pocket of her flowy, oversized, open-knit sweater. “I’ve got the list right here though. I don’t mind waiting.”

“Sure. It’s no problem.”

Luckily for you, after you’ve introduced them, Kirby manages to mostly keep her distracted while you package the order, in their typical social butterfly fashion.

“So I heard you’re getting married! That must be sooo exciting!!”

She goes on to talk about the wedding preparations, at great length and wandering detail.

“Oh- Oh- While I’m thinking about it! On your RSVP, you checked the +1 box, but you didn’t write a name down. I wanted to make sure I checked in so I can send the finished list to the calligrapher! I don’t want anyone to feel left out.”

“Sorry- it must've slipped my mind.” You try not to wince as you slide her order across the counter to her. You meant to ask Carlyle, who you’re beyond sure would escort you, but you’re too worried that would be too obviously dating for whatever arcane laws dole out curse-based punishments. “I’ll message it to you after work, if that’s okay?”

“Sure, that’s fine.” She gives you a wide, radiant grin, the pink boxes of cupcakes practically vibrating in her hands from the wiggling. “Ahhh, I’m so excited! It’s not far off now.”

“Nope. Looking forward to it!”

“Me too! You know, you’ve got such great taste, I can’t wait for you to see the flowers we picked. They’re like, the absolute cutest.” Her smile’s replaced with a look of shock, before she checks the time. “Oooh! Here I am gabbing when I’m already running late to set up this party!! Sorry, but I’ve gotta run. See you next time! Nice meeting you, Kirby!”

With that, she scurries out the door, as elegantly as one can scurry holding a box of cupcakes.

“That’s her?” Kirby slaps the countertop in disbelief, tilting their horns towards the door where she just exited..

“That’s her.” You confirm, a bemused smile settling on your lips. “But she’s my friend now, I think? So be nice.”

“I’m always nice! I mean- She’s very pretty and she seems sweet and all but SPIRITS, like-! Really? Your ex has a suuuuper specific type, huh???”

You snort.

“I’m. Just. Saying!! I’d be… very concerned… about mixing up names at the worst possible moment. Y’know?”

You can’t help but let out barely contained string laughs, finally covering your mouth with your hand.

“...You don’t think I’d look better with a septum piercing?”

“Oh honey, NO. No way- Absolutely not! Nothing against them but If you wanna rebel we can get you a different piercing that suits your whole look way better! Or maybe even a tattoo-” Kirby’s giggling transforms into an excited gasp. “We could get matching tattoos!”

“Absolutely! After the wedding, haha- Right now, I’ve gotta focus on what I’m going to do about my plus one situation…”

“Oh yeah? I figured with how well things are going with your dream man that wouldn’t even be a question.”

“Yeah. I want to ask him, but… the curse…? Wouldn’t that be defining things too much? It seems like dangerous territory, doesn’t it?”

“Hhhmm. If it was me, I’d ask him anyway, curse be damned. I’ve told you that from, like, the very beginning.” Kirby props their chin on their hand in thought. “But if you insist on being cautious, I can go with you instead, if you want. I just hate the idea of you having to sit through that alone!!”

“You would?”

“Yeah, of course!! We’ll go and quietly make fun of your ex all night, drinking elven wine on his parents’ tab!” They beam mischievously.

“That sounds like it might make it all bearable. Fun, even.”

“Doesn’t it???”

“Yes. But I do doubt your ability to do anything quietly.”

“Hehehe- You’re not wrong~”

You get back to work feeling a lot less anxious about attending this wedding. If you won’t be taking a date, at least you’ll be there with a friend in your corner.

Carlyle shows up not long after, and as usual, it’s like the weight of the world evaporates momentarily when you see him. This time he’s brought an overnight bag, because you’ve directly asked him to stay over tonight.

This particular Sunday is busy, but that’s expected. You do manage to get drinks out to your volunteer investigators, but you simply don’t have the time to sit and chat today. You’re relieved you already asked Carlyle to stay, at least- you’re sorely in need of some comfort and quality time after today’s blur of activity and emotional drain.

“Need any help?”

You smile at him from your place at the dish tank scrubbing a cake pan, reaching up to wipe your brow on the sleeve.

“No, I should be able to manage on my own. What did you have in mind for tonight?” You ask the gargoyle man as he approaches, trying to mask your weariness.

“Well, the plan was to make you dinner and then we can relax together, if that’s agreeable to you.” You feel his clawed hand gently press to your upper back in support, and you can’t help but cringe internally, knowing how damp with sweat your shirt surely is. “I hope you like pasta.”

“Oooh, that’s agreeable to me, alright. You don’t have any idea how agreeable that sounds.”

“Hahah- I thought you might say that. I’m going to walk to the corner store for the ingredients. Would you like anything specific?”

“No. I should be done tidying up by the time you get back.”

You shake your head and smile, then press a soft kiss to his lips. His hand squeezes the nape of your neck slightly before letting you go.

Conveniently, he's back right as you're finishing your last tasks- or at least the things you can't put off until you're back in the shop.

“Hmmm, it’s been too long since I’ve been up here.” Carlyle remarks happily as he follows you up the stairs to the living floor of your building, holding the brown paper bag of ingredients in one arm.

“I agree- Will you be okay on your own? I’m going to take a quick shower, if you don’t mind.”

“Go ahead. I’m not a professional, but I’m sure I can navigate around a kitchen.”

You rush a bit through your grooming routine, but instead of the usual stress relief, you can’t help but fret about your situation. Is inviting him over too much? He seems so confident that the full wrath of the curse isn’t going to be raining down on you from continuing on like you have, but you get a knot in your stomach every time you think about the potential negative repercussions.

Somehow, you still manage to cleanse yourself of the day, if not your worry.

Renewed dread begins to set in when you begin to rummage through your closet- you’ve been so busy lately and putting off laundry, that all of your clothes that would be acceptable for a casual evening-in are dirty. You consider just wearing your last set of work wear, but that seems uncomfortable. It’s still a bit early to fully kit out in sleepwear…

You can already smell aromatics cooking in the kitchen, so you don’t have much time to deliberate. You swallow your pride and regrettably pull a set of your silk pajamas on.

You walk out into the kitchen to the sound of a pan sizzling and the sink running.

To your relief, Carlyle’s face breaks into an expression of genuine appreciation rather than judgment about your choice in attire when he slightly turns towards you from his place at the sink.

Strangely, he keeps his hands under the water. The scent is a tell-tale acrid compared to before, so you assume that perhaps he needs a hand with the task load. You tilt your head in confusion as you approach, then peek into the pan on the cooktop, seeing that the contents have hopelessly scorched.

“Ah, I wouldn’t-” He abandons the sentence with a bemused sigh, seeing that you’re already picking up the handle and looking into the pan’s contents as you give it a shake. “I’m not usually this incompetent at cooking.”

The knife sits discarded on the cutting board at a haphazard angle. Next to it is a cluster of some sort of foreign object, and the knife has a similar looking coating on the edge. You squint slightly, trying to make out what it is.

It almost looks like tiny shards of glass- pink glass.

Trailing from the cutting board to the sink.

It takes a moment to click in your mind, but when it does, it hits you like a truck. You’re looking at Carlyle’s blood that has solidified into small, ragged gemstones the same color as his horns upon being exposed to the air.

An alarm bell goes off in your mind. You can recognize this now. After making a fool of yourself about his horns, you’ve made a point of reading up on gargoyles since.

“Oh! Carlyle, you’re hurt?!” You immediately remove the pan from the burner completely and turn off the heat, rushing to focus all your attention on him. “What happened?”

“My hand slipped- It’s only a cut. I’ll live, I promise.”

“Here- Let me see.”

You find a clean hand towel. Once he's pulled his hand out of the stream of water, you dry his hand and inspect the damage. A short but deep cut has broken the skin between the base of his index finger and first knuckle. He winces as you put pressure on it to finish stymieing the bleeding.

“How did that knife even cut through your stoneskin? It shouldn’t be that sharp…”

“No idea. But It's not that big of a deal, really.” He says, exasperated- but given the tone of his voice, you think he might actually be enjoying all the doting. “It’s not even that deep.”

You ignore his statement, continuing to fuss over him as you put the butterfly bandage on, even after confirming yourself that it’s only a minor injury.

“So. Takeout?” Carlyle smoothly suggests, patting down his dreadlocks while you kiss the bandage you’ve meticulously placed on his hand.

“You want to stick around after my curse almost chopped off your finger? You’re a mighty brave soul.”

“It’s not your fault. Accidents happen.” He shrugs. “Realistically, we don’t even know if it’s related…”

“...Yeah…” You agree, but you don’t believe it yourself. You’d be gnawing every fingernail you had down to nubs if you were alone right now.

His non-bandaged hand comes to rest on your jaw, gently tilting your head so your sightline is on him.

“I get the feeling you don’t believe me. That’s okay. But even if it’s the curse- I’m not afraid of it.”

Despite his reassurance, you can’t help but feel responsible. How can he be so confident in his safety when there’s this black cloud hanging over everything you touch? When it’s something that’s obviously- at least to you- threatening his wellbeing?

Maybe if you were present it wouldn’t have happened?

…Though at this point, you’re starting to suspect it might’ve been worse if you were present.

You just hope if it is a side effect of your curse, and not your imagination, that nothing more serious happens.

About another week later, it’s a slow Sunday evening for your shop and it’s finally the day Carlyle’s witch contact is due to show up. It’s just after close and only you, Carlyle and Kirby are still lingering around the counter- waiting for this mystery woman who may or may not be able to provide some better insight about what’s afflicting you, even if it’s only by ruling out what it’s not.

Finally, a figure shows up on the other side of the shop window, testing the door before finding it unlocked and letting themself in. In walks a pink-skinned Elven cambion in a bell-sleeved black tea dress and heeled booties, complete with slouchy, pointed hat, and a near-bursting bag slung over her shoulder. The spade of her tail looks like a heart.

That’s a textbook witch, if you’ve ever seen one.

“Rosario.” Carlyle smirks at her playfully in greeting, confirming your suspicion.

“Carlyle."

“Nice hat.”

“Bureau typically doesn’t like it when you perform witchcraft on the public without the fitting uniform.” She frowns deeply, pointedly looking at Kirby. “So. Hat it is.”

“Well, at least someone besides Carlyle cares about regulations!” Kirby giggles, letting the potential slight glance right off them, and producing a business card that they hand to her. “Kirby. Cursebreaker. Bureau apologist.”

She takes the card and her nose scrunches up in disdain.

“You’re not going to be insufferable about this, are you?”

“Hhmmmm. That compleeeeetely depends on what you define as insufferable!” They grin brightly, and with their tone you wouldn’t be surprised if you saw them start batting their eyes next. “I’m here to support my friend. So, as long as your methods aren’t going to do harm and you don't do anything I'm like, super-duper mandated to report? Probably not. Though I've been told my voice can be very grating~!”

“Thank fuck.” She whips the witch hat off her head, leaving her crown-shaped horns and deep magenta braided-up hair uncovered, then shoving the offending black fabric into Carlyle’s hands.

“Right, I'm glad you've both decided to be adults about this and we’ve cleared that up before it could become an issue.” Carlyle nods in diplomatic approval, holding out a hand to direct Rosario's attention to you for a proper introduction, which he gives with such an unabashed tone of pride in his voice when he says your name that it makes your knees feel like they’re suddenly made of jelly. “This is your client for today.”

“Nice to meet you, Rosario.”

She hums in response, not even trying to hide the subtle pink glow in her eyes as she magically assesses you and the shop around you. Then, she gently brings her fingers to her brow in bewildered vexation.

“Well, if the horrible miasma permeating this whole place is any indication, I have a lot of work to do.”

“First, er… Would you like a cupcake?” You say, a bit more shakily than usual as you engage your typical ploy in endearing people to you upon first meeting.

“...Sure.”

She selects a blackout cupcake, which you have to admit, suits her whole aesthetic quite well.

She eats it in the most expressionless way you’ve ever seen a person eat a baked good in all the time you’ve been baking professionally. Thankfully Carlyle and Kirby are chatting in the background, otherwise the weight of the silence mixed with Rosario’s completely unmoved expression might make you actually go mad.

You briefly consider changing the name of the cupcake flavor she’s selected to ‘horrible miasma’, but ultimately decide against it.

“So, how do you and Carlyle know each other?” You crack under the pressure and attempt to make small talk.

Her eyes dart to Carlyle for a moment, but he’s caught up talking to Kirby about prepping the space for the ritual, and so she makes an executive decision on how to answer herself.

“Similar interests. Multiple.”

She does not elaborate.

“...Right. Thank you for coming, by the way, you’re really a lifesaver.” You move towards the till. “What do I owe you, by the way? Carlyle didn’t mention payment.”

“He already paid me. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ah, I was worried you’d say that.” You say sheepishly. “He’s so hard-headed. Here, I’ll pay you and you can refund him, maybe?”

“No- That’s not necessary.” She makes a noise in distaste. “Look. What he paid me with is intangible anyway. It wasn’t gold.”

You look at her quizzically. You’ve decided to let it go, but after she chews a bite of cupcake in thought, she seemingly decides to answer to dispel your curiosity.

“Furniture set.”

“Pardon?”

“He had a furniture set I wanted. A limited one that doesn’t get released anymore. The full set.”

For the first time since she’s set foot in your shop, Rosario almost seems vulnerable on this topic.

“Oh, the game he plays- You play it too?”

“...Game? Right. Yes. The game. Creature Crossroads. Do you play?”

“No, but I’m thinking about buying one of those little boxes so that Carlyle and I can play together.”

“Cute.”

As she finishes the treat up, you do see a faint smile form before it fades away just as fast. So, you’ll take that as a win.

“Thanks. Let’s get this show on the road, then. …No one’s afraid of snakes, right?”

You and your companions clear the counter, making space for Rosario to set down her bulging bag full of supplies. A pinkish-hued corn snake slithers out of her long sleeve. It doesn’t take long for it to slither up the guardrail of the stairs and out of sight.

In a few minutes, a makeshift altar has been assembled on your shop’s counter, giving you a massive feeling of dissonance, even if it’s charming in its own way. Though, you could perhaps do without the carved animal bones…

Rosario draws a large chalk circle in the middle of the shop floor, punctuating the points of the star with different herbs, crystals, bones, and the like.

Your shop becomes a stage for Rosario methodically going through the steps of a smoky ritual- resin incense burning in a wide, flat ceramic holder in one hand; a dark, shiny blade being sliced through the air in succinct movements in the other. She stops every few steps, clearly severing things you can’t see. She occasionally says something in a firmly projected voice, in a language you don’t know, but sounds sort of like Elvish- not quite though.

Carlyle and Kirby assist within their ability, which mostly involves holding things or moving things, or pointing out areas that are still problems. It’s a painstaking process, and you simply try to stay out of the way while they work.

Magic is such a foreign and slightly intimidating thing for you, being something you don’t have the capability to fully experience. You didn’t even know more magic users than the fingers on one of your hands before you left your home village. Queen’s Isle isn’t known for its plentiful abundance of the magically adept, after all.

Despite that, you find that it has quite a lot of beauty to it. It’s hard not to appreciate the process like you do baking, or any other creative method that still has its rules.

Rosario starts from the top floor and meticulously covers the perimeter of every room, until she’s back at the shop’s front door nearly a full 40 minutes later, assumingly escorting the last of the negative energy out.

“Good news and bad news.” She says in her flat tone, pushing her thick-framed glasses up the bridge of her nose as she brings her equipment back to the counter. “Which do you want first?”

“I think I could use some hope first.” You decide quickly and reply.

“Your problem does seem to be spiritual in nature. And your shop is cleansed. For now.”

“And the bad news…?”

“It’s not going to stay that way as long as you’re here.” Her familiar returns to her, slithering off one of the shelves and onto her arm, where she strokes the snake’s head. “Because it’s not just on you. Whatever it is, it’s weird, and it’s coming from you.”

“But like, how is that even possible, though? He’s a numan. It’s not like he could be a budding sorcerer!!”

“And he’s not shown any signs of possession, either…” Carlyle adds, holding his chin in thought. “I’m not an expert, but if this were a typical possession, you’d think one of us would’ve at least observed the offending spirit by now.”

“Honestly? No clue. Never seen anything quite like it on a blank. But if the source isn’t removed from his person, it’s only going to keep building back up.”

“What does that entail, exactly?” You ask weakly, already feeling a little overwhelmed.

“Personal Exorcism. I can do that too, if you want. But FYI, it’s not what I’d call a pleasant experience. Extra bad if it’s a demon. And you’ll have to be restrained, in case whatever it is tries to take over and cause issues.”

“...Will it hurt?”

“It’s not supposed to. Not corporeal pain, at least.”

Somehow, that does not make you feel better.

But you keep the thought to yourself, instead glancing at Carlyle and then Kirby, seeking reassurance.

“It’s worth a shot. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Yeah! And we’ll be here with you the whoooooole time. Nothing’s gonna hurt you with us here~!”

“Then yes, let’s. I just want this curse gone.” You say, letting out a long breath and harnessing the resolve while you have it.

Rosario nods, and begins renewed preparations by touching up the large chalk circle on the floor in fresh lines, while Carlyle and Kirby find one of the only chairs in the shop that has arm rests and bring it out to the middle of the tile floor, inside the circle.

You enter the chalk circle with Rosario and sit down in the now suddenly ominous chair, your stomach already fittingly tying itself in knots from the building nerves.

You watch intently as Rosario’s hands firmly knot the manila fiber rope around your wrist and to the armrest, one after the other. You can’t see it, obviously, but there’s something else there. You can feel a tingle pricking your skin as her magic is undoubtedly imbued into the material.

Kirby discreetly feels the newly-enchanted rope with their fingertips, and you can see their eyes glow slightly. They’re checking behind her magic, you realize, when the glow dissipates as quickly as it appeared, and they wink at you knowingly.

“Looks good!” They say to Rosario in glowing approval as they leave the circle and head to a safe spot by the counter. “You really know what you’re doing!!”

She simply scoffs in response, stepping away to gather the rest of her tools from the counter and leaving room for Carlyle to step in.

“Not exactly my personal taste…” Carlyle smiles, speaking softly enough only you can hear and clearly trying to break some of the tension by making light of the situation. He tries the rope at your wrist, making sure it’s not too tight. “But I suppose I can still appreciate it.”

It works, and you snort out a laugh, unable to muffle the unflattering noise with your hands incapacitated.

He squeezes your shoulder and leans over to press a kiss to the crown of your head. Then he moves over to join Kirby where they’re standing nearby.

Then it’s just you and Rosario in the circle; you, seated and bound; and her standing in front of you with the dagger that at this point you surmise to be her focus in one hand, and her snake familiar in the other.

Then she starts speaking again, just as firmly and in the same commanding tone as when she was cleansing the space..

It’s a small thing, at first.

Barely a small buzzing in the back of your head.

But it quickly grows into an almost unbearable roar. You screw your face up, turn your shoulders in- anything to try to protect yourself from that horrible rumbling sensation.

An impossible wind picks up in your closed shop, whipping through your hair and buffeting against your face.

But you can’t, because it’s coming from inside.

Even lacking a sense for magic, you can feel the bolts of energy crackle in the air around you.

They were right. It doesn’t hurt, exactly.

But it is a deeply unpleasant sensation.

It feels like something’s being ripped out of you, from the inside. Like velcro being slowly and forcefully parted. That familiar weight in your chest, pressing at your rib cage as it’s pulled from you like a magnet’s on the other side.

Everything’s shaking- the stools at the counter vibrating across the floor, the dishes on the shelves rattling against the secured doors. Even the light fixtures are swaying back and forth, the lights themselves beginning to flicker.

You can barely hear it at first over the sound of arcane activity all around you and Rosario’s frankly booming voice, but somewhere in the maelstrom there’s the piercing sound of metal whining. You’d be plugging your ears if you could, instead grinding your molars at the noise.

Even you can feel it now; the threads holding whatever it is in your chest are starting to fray. All that accumulated magical tension in the air nears its breaking point.

Rosario’s chanting reaches a fever pitch.

Just a little farther. It’ll be over. If you can stand just a bit more-

The rest happens so fast.

A groan of thick metal bending, then a loud-

SNAP-

Your eyes snap open and there’s a blur in the corner of your vision, something of considerable weight falling at speed off to the side, then the sound of glass shattering and metal crunching against the tile.

KKRRRSHH-

Rosario immediately falls silent, and the wind and buzz dies down immediately.

You’re stunned still, but it’s clear what has happened when your brain catches up.

One of the massive overhead industrial lights hanging from your shop's ceiling has fallen, specifically where Carlyle was standing mere moments ago.

You can see Kirby now, unhurt- they’re scrambling to their hooves where they dove out of the way.

…But not Carlyle. He’s nowhere to be seen.

A sense of panic fills you, crushing your heart in a vice grip. The only thing that matters to you is laying eyes on him.

“CARLYLE!!” You all but screech, violently and unthinkingly tugging at the rope, not even noticing the physical discomfort in your desperation to get to him. You’ll gnaw the ropes off yourself with your teeth, if you have to. “L-Let me out!”

Rosario comes to your aid, her expression grim.

“Fuck-” She gets one of your wrists free, then struggles with your bindings while you try to wriggle out of them in a panic. “Hold still, dammit! You’re going to hurt yourself- Ggh-”

Rosario finally manages to get the blade between the rope and your skin, to slice you free. You spring out of the chair and push past her (as politely as possible given the circumstances). The chair overturns and clatters against the floor behind you moments later. Glass shrapnel crunches under your shoes as you run over, but you don’t care.

You reach them just in time to see Carlyle wincing on the floor flat on his back, where he's barely cleared the path of the broken light. His clothes are crumpled, covered with ceiling dust and tiny shards of glass, and one of his horn caps swivels loosely on its base.

Kirby holds Carlyle by the elbow, helping him get to his feet.

Unharmed.

“Good, you're okay too!!” Kirby says. They have a small, superficial cut dotting a line of blood droplets on their forehead, no doubt from the flying shrapnel.

He’s okay. He’s okay. Thank the Lady.

You immediately feel yourself release the breath you’ve been holding, and throw yourself into his arms. You squeeze him so tightly you might bruise yourself against the rigid nature of his body, but you don’t mind. You barely manage to keep from sobbing into his chest, instead grasping the sides of his jaw and peppering kisses onto his face.

“What a fucking mess.” Rosario gripes, rubbing her forehead, her makeup beginning to run at the outer corners of her eyes from sweat.

“Hahah- You can say that again!” Kirby grins at her, but it just makes her grimace harder. There’s a small tremor in their voice despite their calm facade, and they’re probably not fully experiencing the feelings from the event quite yet.

“Ugh. Come here. I have bandaids and disinfectant in my kit.” She says, motioning to her forehead. Kirby then touches their own forehead quickly, smearing the minuscule amount of blood in a streak. “Ugh.”

Rosario and Kirby's conversation continues as they approach the counter and start discussing how to proceed, leaving you to look over Carlyle more closely now that you’ve released him from your vice grip.

He’s screwing his horn cap back on straight by feel, smiling like nothing even happened.

“You did well- kept it together beautifully.” Your eyes meet his. They're warm with affection, even when you can see a few new light scratches gouged into the stone material of his face. “Even if the results weren’t what we hoped.”

Your affliction almost just got him killed.

And yet, he still seems so pleased with you, all the same- Looking at you adoringly like this- Praising you, even!

Such a wonderful, kind person, potentially snuffed from the world just like that, in a freak accident that didn’t even need to happen.

And it would've been your fault.

…The thought makes you sick to your stomach.

“I can't keep doing this- This was too big to brush off-” You blurt out and shake your head wildly, your hands coming to rest on the shoulders of his button up. “I can't let you get hurt because of me!”

“But I’m not hurt. I'm fine.” He says in a soothing voice, squeezing the fingers on one of your hands in an attempt to comfort you. “It's okay.”

“It’s not okay!”

The welling tears threatening to spill over finally breach. Shaking, you force yourself to say what you're thinking before you talk yourself out of it.

You can't be the reason he gets hurt, or worse.

Your tone is deathly serious even as you struggle to choke out the words.

“Carlyle- We can't see each other anymore.”

>> ✨ MASTERLIST >> ☕ KO-FI

#exophilia #monster lover #monster romance #monster x human #monster x reader #gargoyle x reader #gargoyle #male x male #mlm #mxm #male monster #male reader #series: something borrowed #oc: carlyle #oc: declan #nine of words

13 notes · View notes