#i just want feral nasty snape

[shostakobitchh]

I want a Snily story where Lily goes missing and Severus is still a low level ranking Death Eater and James comes to him out of desperation and is like “PLEASE if you EVER cared about her HELP ME FIND HER” and Severus goes absolutely fucking feral in his pursuit of finding her only to find that it was on Voldemort’s orders

And then he takes them down from the inside out.

And the entire time Lily is giving these fuckers absolute HELL while barely hanging on until Severus shows up covered in blood and bits of bone and takes her somewhere no one can find them and the entire time she’s fighting him and he’s just like, “FUCKING STAY PUT”

and then they fall in love :-) totally normal

[esta-elavaris]

i'd love it if you could post the bullet points of the plot! i mean i don't think much of my writing so i wouldn't be making an attempt, but bullet points to read are better than nothing lol

Okay! Here goes --

So in what happened already, the OC (Heather) was staying in Hogsmeade during weekends to supply Sirius with food/shelter. She works as an assistant at an apothecary, she was a Slytherin when she attended Hogwarts, and didn't find out about her true bloodline until Harry started Hogwarts, where she finds out he's her younger brother.

They'd slowly get closer and closer on these Hogsmeade weekends, it start off kinda awkward but Sirius asks questions about her past (both involving Harry and not involving Harry) which would be told in flashbacks.

I think he'd get frustrated because she doesn't consider James and Lily her actual parents, but he otherwise likes her and doesn't want to fuck up his chance at getting food and somewhere warm to sleep by commenting too much on it.

He'd also see her very obvious fondness/protectiveness of Harry and figure that makes up for any "wrongs" in how she views her birth parents. There'd be flashbacks here and there to how she got close to Harry during his first year (her final year) - where things would progress from being awkward, to a slow kind of fondness (because neither of them have proper family) to her losing her shit when he ends up in the hospital wing at the end of the first movie, basically staying by his bedside the whole time and realising "well, I have a little brother now huh" in terms of how she ended up accepting him.

I think? At the end of book four when Voldie is revealed as being back? Sirius ends up being snuck into Hogwarts in dog form? It's been ages since I read them, but I'm certain that happens. Heather would also be there. Maybe Harry notices their bond and how at ease they've grown with each other and naively comments like "aw see she thinks of him as a father figure like I do :)" and Hermione sees what's really on the cards and uhhhh cringes quite a bit.

Book 5 ~

Heather is fully involved in Order business now, and bonds more and more with Sirius over frustration with Dumbledore's insistence that Harry needs to be kept in the dark.

At some point they have mutual "oh no, you've been hot this whole time????" realisations - for Heather, it's seeing Sirius actually clean and fed and not? Living feral? For Sirius, the realisation is a bit more dramatic. Heather is super into music and the Wizarding music scene, and is attacked by Death Eaters in a Wizarding pub when she's "off the clock", so she's rushed back to Grimmauld Place and she just happens to be very dolled up for the evening.

Anyway, from here on she's basically forced into hiding with Sirius, too - Snape confirms that it's basically common knowledge among the Death Eaters by now that she's Harry's sister, and she'd make for a stellar hostage.

From here it's a lot of forced proximity stuff. They continue to fall for each other while in hiding, end up properly getting together. Pretty much all of the Order think it's a terrible idea (age gap, worries that they're getting into it for the wrong reasons). Harry finds out by accident, probably during the Christmas holidays, and is fuming. In part because he drastically misunderstood their "closeness", and also because it's yet another way that he feels like people are keeping things from him -- and these two are the ones who are supposedly against him being kept in the dark about everything else going on.

There *would* be a nasty argument at some point or another. Probably because Sirius is dying to leave and basically gagging for an excuse, he finds one (Harry's safety) and Heather tries to talk him out of it - Sirius tries to paint it as her being uncaring about Harry, rather than her knowing that either of them leaving would just put him in more danger - and makes some comment along the lines of "now I can really see why you're a Slytherin huh".

^ Would probably happen just before the big stand-off at the Ministry. He leaves in the aftermath of said blazing row, Heather follows.

Big fight at the Ministry. There's a skirmish with Heather and a Death Eater, during which her wand is stomped on. She spots Bellatrix getting ready to Avada Kedavra Sirius, uses the broken wand anyway against Bella - it does hit her, but it also rebounds and hits Heather too. The spell I had planned was "Diffindo" - so Bella loses a finger or too, but Heather also ends up cut up real bad. Nearly dies. Sirius is uhhh not thrilled. Especially considering the note they left things on.

The papers etc. turn up just in time to photograph Voldie, but also Heather and Sirius as she's just shy of bleeding out. His name is cleared (if Harry was telling the truth about Voldemort, they kinda have to trust him about Sirius now), Heather and Sirius are taken to Hogwarts to recover and get away from the papers.

Sirius gets his moment of walking through the doors of Hogwarts as a free man uwu.

During the summer holidays between 5 and 6, Sirius proposes to Heather. I did have this bit properly planned out - they'd be talking and she's say how she's considering taking Potter as a surname (a big moment bc she previously rejected anything to do with James and Lily) in a show of support for Harry, especially now that everybody knows anyway. She's pondering whether to hyphenate it with her OG surname, just go full "Potter", whether "Heather Potter" sounds decent, and Sirius is just like "How about Heather Black?" - she thinks he's kidding til he gets down on one knee.

I'm not sure what would happen after that. A wedding, obviously, but in terms of books 6 and 7 I didn't think ahead that far. I think they'd definitely be a tumultuous couple because of their differences - Sirius is very brash and reckless, Heather is far more cautious and anxious, and while they can be good influences on one another because of that, it could also lead to fights - especially because they both have tempers. When they're in bad moods, that boldness can be exhausting, and Sirius can be hurtful when he's angry so he could paint Heather's cautiousness as cowardice. There'd definitely be a moment or two where he'd be like "you're not James' daughter at all" and she's respond with "I don't fucking want to be."

That being said, they're both fiercely loyal and they would love each other dearly. They just have independent issues to work through that could rub off badly on one another when they clash. Some folk weren't keen on the age gap but honestly when it comes to Sirius I think it makes sense, because he was locked up at ~21, and the books make it very clear that he's kind of? Stuck at that mental age now? Becuase that was when his life stopped?

But I also think the whole incident at the Ministry would temper their worst instincts when it comes to their fighting, because they'd see how easily a conversation can become their last and they'd learn from that. Bellatrix would also majorly be out for revenge after losing a finger or two to Heather, so that's fun.

Like there were some fun ideas there - I was really excited about the Ministry showdown, and the proposal, but I just didn't have a whole lot to fill up the gaps between that, and those were some hefty gaps 💀

[pet-genius]

A complex and many-layered thing

But Harry’s anger at Snape continued to pound through his veins like venom. Let go of his anger? He could as easily detach his legs. . . .

This is the first Occlumency lesson. Harry is right, of course. Feelings don’t go away because you want them to. To let go of them when they’ve not been addressed or validated can be as hard as detaching a leg. And yet, it’s what Dumbledore asked Snape to do, and it’s what Snape had to do to survive the first war as Dumbledore’s spy. You have to ask yourself… how?

Trapped animals chew off their own legs to escape. It’s a sacrifice they make to survive.

If there’s one thing in a fic that turns me off it, it’s the idea that Occlumency shields are a thing, that Severus was so gifted at it because he’s got some power like Second Sight or being a metamorphagus. I always preferred to think of Occlumency and Legilimency as skills that can be learned, even if some have more aptitude for it than others.

Severus entered Hogwarts with the kind of life experience that primed him for developing these skills, and left it with even more. Occlumency is magical dissociation, a post-traumatic coping mechanism, and Severus has C/PTSD. More under the cut; tw: just general angst.

To survive, he would have had to develop a knack for telling how explosive and unpredictable people feel. Over his life, he faced at least two egregious examples of what Pete Walker, author of “Complex PTSD” calls “the Charming Bully”.

Especially devolved fight types can become sociopathic. Sociopathy can range along a continuum that stretches from corrupt politician to vicious criminal. A particularly nasty sociopath, who I call the charming bully, probably falls somewhere around the middle of this continuum. The charming bully behaves in a friendly manner some of the time. He can even occasionally listen and be helpful in small amounts, but he still uses his contempt to overpower and control others. This type typically relies on scapegoats for the dumping of his vitriol. These unfortunate scapegoats are typically weaker than him. […] He generally spares his favorites from this behavior, unless they get out of line. If the charming bully is charismatic enough, those close to him will often fail to register the unconscionable meanness of his scapegoating. The bully’s favorites often slip into denial, relieved that they are not the target. Especially charismatic bullies may even be admired and seen as great.

These would be James Potter and Tom Riddle, who are distantly related, I might add. Harry inherited the tendency to default to the fight response, but since he grew up the scapegoat and not the golden child, he never becomes quite as appalling, and after all, a fight response is normal when they are after you. Even so, Harry, who has both James and Voldemort inside him, triggers Severus to no end. It’s not a coincidence that the memories Harry sees when he is with him are largely horrible, and vice versa. There had to be happy or at least neutral or even boring moments, but these two detest each other, and they know they detest each other. Negative emotions and associated memories are so close to the surface they can’t be contained. This is the purpose of the Pensieve in this context - to contain the emotions. Since Severus knew what was in there when he pulled Harry out, my theory is that you don’t suddenly forget the memories you placed there, but rather you make them less fraught with emotions.

“Get up!” said Snape sharply. “Get up! You are not trying, you are making no effort, you are allowing me access to memories you fear, handing me weapons!”

Harry stood up again, his heart thumping wildly as though he had really just seen Cedric dead in the graveyard. Snape looked paler than usual, and angrier, though not nearly as angry as Harry was. “I — am — making — an — effort,” he said through clenched teeth.

“I told you to empty yourself of emotion!”

“Yeah? Well, I’m finding that hard at the moment,” Harry snarled.

“Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!” said Snape savagely. “Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily — weak people, in other words — they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!”

A lot to unpack here.

“Memories you fear,” “weapons”, “easy prey”.

Fearing your own memories, viewing your own lived experiences as weapons to be used against you, being easy prey… Severus could not be speaking louder of himself here. He is the one whose mind had been penetrated with absurd ease, he is the one who handed weapons to Voldemort, and he is the one who had to do the psychological equivalent of detaching his own leg – again and again – to survive.

I’ll argue that Severus developed a fawn response and a flight response, as fighting had never really worked out for him if it was possible at all. He had at least two more people I’d describe as bullies in his life, Tobias and Lucius.

Again from Pete Walker:

These [fawn] response patterns are so deeply set in the psyche, that as adults, many codependents automatically respond to threat like dogs, symbolically rolling over on their backs, wagging their tails, hoping for a little mercy and an occasional scrap. Webster’s second entry for fawn is: “to show friendliness by licking hands, wagging its tail, etc.: said of a dog.” I find it tragic that some codependents are as loyal as dogs to even the worst “masters”.

Remember what Sirius called him? Lucius’s lapdog. Bellatrix called him Dumbledore’s pet, Dumbledore said he dangles on Voldemort’s arm, the narrative compares Snape to a rabbit in SWM and Harry compares the Half Blood Prince to a beloved pet who had gone feral (yes, this does mean a lot to me on a personal level, yes my username is not a coincidence).

His unconscious fawn response might have been his undoing, drawn as he was to figures like Lucius and Voldemort. As an adult, I think he utilized the skills he had developed to survive in order to stitch these people up, and involuntary dissociation and fawning became Occlumency, which to me, is his signature magic. Harry needed only to banish Voldemort from his mind; Severus could not settle for this. He had to give Voldemort something, and knowing how to fawn meant knowing what to give him and how to draw himself in such a light that Voldemort would believe it. We see how he wanted to be seen by the Death Eaters: a self-serving coward who sought to hide behind Dumbledore’s apron, playing his pet. But that’s Pettigrew, not Snape. Imagine the self-immolation, the self-violation, it must have taken to convince everyone that you’re an ersatz Wormtail! Snape is a man and a prince, and the text recognizes this as Harry calls him, in the end, Dumbledore’s man, the bravest man, and as that chapter is called “The Prince’s Tale”. Voldemort thought Snape was nothing more than a “good and faithful servant,” and that his last words were “My Lord”.

But Severus had an unequaled gift for Occlumency, specifically against Voldemort, because Voldemort could not legilimens what he couldn’t feel; and he couldn’t feel love, grief, guilt, and remorse. This was Severus’s secret weapon, which would not have worked against Harry - who can feel these things, and who is also Lily’s son. I can prove it. The first time Harry gets the hang of Occlumency is after Dobby dies:

His scar burned, but he was master of the pain; he felt it, yet was apart from it. He had learned control at last, learned to shut his mind to Voldemort, the very thing Dumbledore had wanted him to learn from Snape. Just as Voldemort had not been able to possess Harry while Harry was consumed with grief for Sirius, so his thoughts could not penetrate Harry now, while he mourned Dobby. Grief, it seemed, drove Voldemort out . . . though Dumbledore, of course, would have said that it was love. . . .

Harry learned to dissociate, though fortunately in a healthier way than many of us ever get to.

Of course, Snape was a good and faithful servant… to Dumbledore, which brings us to the flight response. The chapter wherein he escapes after killing Dumbledore is called “Flight of the Prince”. He should be fighting, he had just proven that he can cast a killing curse, and yet he flees. He can literally fly, in fact: He, Lily, and Voldemort are the only ones we see pulling this off.

As a child, we see this too: He copes with his home situation by reminding himself “it won’t be long and I’ll be gone.” He is thrilled when he imagines Hogwarts, his escape; he follows Lily out of the carriage instead of confronting James and Sirius head-on (which might have saved them all a lot of pain eventually). But this doesn’t work out, we see that in terrifying detail. The next attempt at an escape is joining the Death Eaters, but this too doesn’t work out.

He can’t flee anymore.

“Severus, you cannot pretend this isn’t happening!” Karkaroff’s voice sounded anxious and hushed, as though keen not to be overheard. “It’s been getting clearer and clearer for months. I am becoming seriously concerned, I can’t deny it —”

“Then flee,” said Snape’s voice curtly. “Flee — I will make your excuses. I, however, am remaining at Hogwarts.”

Shortly thereafter:

“Severus,” said Dumbledore, turning to Snape, “you know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready . . . if you are prepared . . .”

“I am,” said Snape.

He looked slightly paler than usual, and his cold, black eyes glittered strangely.

He was ready, and he was prepared. He didn’t fly; he walked toward what might well have been his end with open eyes, armed only with the strength of his mind. Before Voldemort killed him, he looked pale, again, and terrified.

“I sought a third wand, Severus. The Elder Wand, the Wand of Destiny, the Deathstick. I took it from its previous master. I took it from the grave of Albus Dumbledore.”

And now Snape looked at Voldemort, and Snape’s face was like a death mask. It was marble white and so still that when he spoke, it was a shock to see that anyone lived behind the blank eyes.

I ask myself if this was the moment he realized he had been betrayed, that by giving Dumbledore a painless death he had secured his own. Maybe he wasn’t pale because he was scared; maybe he was pale because he was shocked. He was at his absolute limit, Occluding with all his might when he could have easily saved himself. The dam is about to break. All the memories he feared, all the weapons, the entire content of his heart is about to spill through - literally.

He fawned for Voldemort, the worst of all possible masters, but in the end, he was Voldemort’s undoing. All the ways in which he was weak and powerless against Tobias, James, Lucius, et al., proved to be part of goodness and source of his power. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that Snape is so loved. I’ve never actually seen such love for any other fictional character. He represents a kind of courage that many of us need to get by, lest we simply become evil or give the fuck up (“I wish I was dead”). A kind of courage rarely celebrated. The more time I’ve spent in the fandom in general and in the Snapedom in particular, the more I am convinced of this.

[severusish]

So for this blog, do you use Snape's Canon character or do you use an au character for him? Bc I totally get using an au character. Sometimes you gotta change some things around, especially if a character is prpblematic

Hi there! You must be the brave soul who commented in @sevsnapes’s recent post. It’s a pleasant surprise to have you send me an ask!

Welcome to the blog, and happy springtime. Thanks for coming to have a conversation about our differing opinions! You can call me ish. ;)

A mix of both, to answer your question.

I continue below the cut.

Also, a bit of AU is used in our interpretation of Snape because all of us in the Snape Fandom (aka the Snapedom) pretty much agree that Snape first of all was too smart to have just allowed himself to get bitten by a snake and die. Like???? He’d have made an antidote as soon as he entered Voldemort’s service. So in that way for example our Snape is AU because he wouldn’t allow himself to just let some reptile be the death of him.

I think the main aspects we really enjoy from his canon self were his loyalty, intelligence, dedication, mastery of potions, wisdom, fashion sense, and sass (aka biting wit and dark humor).

Some things, like the way he spoke to Hermione and Neville, are things that we tend to use as conflict devices in the plot. A lot of us actually really like how nasty Snape was in canon, to everyone and especially Umbridge; there’s something Schadenfreude-y about seeing someone else get absolutely verbally ripped apart in a way that’s elegant. None of us condone abuse towards children; however we also recognize that Snape was a thoroughly feral and unhinged and messed up fictional character so in some ways it makes sense that he gave zero shits about being rude to people of all ages.

In the Snapedom we change a lot of aspects of him in fanfiction. For example many of us headcanon that he was Draco’s godfather when in canon he never was. Some of us headcanon that he was nice enough to be good friends with his colleagues, when in canon he was never portrayed as being nice enough in adulthood to have true friends. Death Eaters don’t count, except for the Malfoys in most of our headcanons; and sometimes we headcanon that the Malfoys were ‘more than friendly’ with Snape, if you get my drift. (Lol).

The vast majority of us create an interpretation of Snape that deals, as canon Snape did, with the bitter hardships and disappointments of life. Snape is a snarky, sarcastic, intelligent character and the perfect vessel in which fanfic writers can dump all the dark stuff we want; he’s pathetic, he’s scrunkly and has trauma and is also relatable to many people, especially adults here.

Snape is problematic in quite a few ways and we here in the Snapedom accept that; but he is a problematic fave. Emphasis on fave.

Snape embodies the tropes we also enjoy; the “enemies to lovers” trope for example, or the “I fell in love with the first shit-ass mcnobody who showed me a sincere act of kindness” trope (this second quote comes from a popular tumblr post), or the “dark character who doesn’t know how to love but desperately wants to, meets light character with mysterious past who has tons of love to give” trope (this quote is my own wording).

Ships like Snarry, Snuna and Snamione are labeled as problematic by people who don’t like Snape in the context where the younger partner is a minor; but the truth is, we in the Snapedom tend to never write ships where one character is a minor; we’ll use time-turners and pretty much anything to make it so that both of them are adults.

We also have crack ships (joke ships) such as Snevor (Snape and Trevor the Toad) and Snumbridge (Snape and Umbridge) although sometimes even I don’t really know if it’s a crackship or not… some people get so passionate about crackships that the lines between joke and seriousness start to blur 😅

There are the ships that are harder to write, such as Snily, Snames, Snupin and Snack (Snape x Lily, Snape x James, Snape x Lupin, Snape x Sirius Black), and the rarer ships as well, such as Sinsev/Sevistra (Snape x Professor Sinistra).

It’s a pretty diverse fandom.

Now. About your comment on the post linked above; yeah. Snape was a dick to Harry. But that doesn’t keep us from liking Snape; it just makes us want to understand him better as a character.

In the books everything that Harry did pretty much infuriated Snape. But if we unpack it — Harry looked like James, but had Lily’s eyes. It would have been super painful to see James Potter, who bullied Snape during their time at Hogwarts together, every time he looked at Harry, while also seeing Lily in Harry’s eyes.

Seeing a living combination of the person he hated more than anything and the person he would have died to save probably drove Snape crazy. He didn’t need a daily reminder of the two people he’d failed to save all those years ago, and yet, here he was stuck having to teach Harry Potter and save his arse when needed, without ever being able to tell Harry “I’m sorry. I failed your mother. I failed your father. You have your mother’s eyes. I have been on your side all these years.”

Yeah, Snape was a dick to Harry, and pretty often as well. That’s not forgivable. It doesn’t excuse or justify his actions. But Harry looking and acting the way he does seems to absolutely explain why he, Snape, was so volatile around Harry. It is surprising that a man of such cool-headed logic and reason with epic control over his mind — who could block both Voldemort and Dumbledore from his innermost private thoughts — would go crazy whenever he saw Harry. But Harry was his weak spot. And sure Snape showed favoritism in some ways to Slytherins but he was pretty harsh across the board to Gryffindors when it came to taking points and not exclusively Harry. We have to also consider that Harry was a little upstart for a few years there who talked back and was very rude towards authority figures he didn’t like, including Snape and Umbridge. To what extent was Snape justified, or not, in putting Harry in his place when he was being deliberately rude and incredibly out of bounds in Snape’s classroom? I think disciplining Harry was needed — within reason of course.

Snape is a complex character. Also he looks great in that outfit they put him in, in the films. Hourglass waist, I shit you not. Watch scenes with him in it and I promise you it’s eye-opening. It won’t make you like Snape but the costumers did an incredible job of bringing the character to life and that’s part of the reason, aside from the character himself, why you’ll see so much Snape art in the Snapedom. He’s fascinating to write about and make art of. We have so many incredible artists and writers in this fandom; they are lovely.

Anyway, thanks for visiting!

Idk if that helps but feel free to go back and forth with me as you like, I’m all for respectful repartee.

Ciao for now!

— ish

[wellpresseddaisy]

A List of roughly chronological Snape Crimes

(henceforth known as Snimes) as referenced by Snaters, annotated, and rated on the Snime scale* which I have just made up.

*Severity is rated by Trevors, Entertainment Factor is rated by jars

Reposting with some edits for clarity.

Spied in Lily Evans, aged 9, from a bush

0 Trevors, 1 jar

Is every Snater an obnoxious extravert who bounds up to new people, hand outstretched for a firm shake? A shy, poorly socialized, or introverted child may need some hanging about in a bush time. And if you sexualize this behavior at all, that's a you problem.

The jar is for an early reference to his penchant for dramatic entrances. A boy has to start somewhere.

Dropped a branch on Petunia

0 Trevors, 3 jars

It was accidental magic and Petunia wasn't hurt. Honestly, if I were a child with poorly controlled magic due to heightened emotion, I'd have dropped a branch on her, too. Tuney was a pill.

The only way to make it funnier would be for Severus to call her 'Pisstunia'.

Knew more 'dark magic' than any other Slytherin at age 11

0 Trevors, 3 jars

Probably didn't know any, unless he had some quick tutoring sessions with Lucius Malfoy right after sorting. Would a child actually have the power to control any of the known Dark Arts spells? This smells of Gryffindor propaganda and ass covering. Potentially somehow convinced Sirius that he did, though, so 3 jars for the effort. 

Are we sure the 'dark magic' wasn't just pretending to throw a stick and hiding it behind his back instead? 

Made friends within Slytherin house

0 Trevors, 9 jars

Where, pray tell, is he meant to make friends? Outer Mongolia? With the Potions lab jars? Should he ostracize himself? Never speak to another Slytherin so as to free himself of the taint of evil? (Please see Eddie Izzard bit on ambition and the British) Consign himself to a life of sad, unseasoned boiled potato as he's unable to speak to anyone even to ask for the salt? Given that a Potter and a Black are gunning for him from before Sorting, taking the protection of a Malfoy is a savvy move from an up-and-coming young man. (And you DO NOT refuse Lucius Malfoy taking you under his wing). 

The jars are for the amusement of imagining Lucius having to deal with a near-feral Cokeworth child. I'll bet he went wailing to Narcissa about it.

Spied on some prime assholes the Marauders, tried to get them expelled

0 Trevors, 3 jars

As his tormentors eventually had a magic map, the efficacy of his spying can be debated. However, he is within his rights to want the people torturing him gone, especially as the adults have decided he doesn't matter. And last time I checked, the penalty for being nosy is not Death by Werewolf. (If anyone wants to try 'But James saved him' think of this - James didn't care one bit for Snape's life, but Remus or Sirius could have been in worlds of trouble. I'd wager he was more concerned for Remus than anyone else.) 3 jars for the mental image of wee babby Sape skulking about behind things.

Flung Mudblood at Lily, apologized later

3 Trevors, 0 jars

Look, we shouldn't be using slurs toward anyone, but a canonically single use of the word is hardly the worst thing anyone has ever done (see Malfoy, Draco). Given that he was restrained upside down with his underclothes on display to most of the school after being choked by soap and she smiled a bit before trying to help him, one can see why he might be a titch out of control. Apologizing after was a good thing to do, despite Lily's reaction. Also, Lily owed him an apology she never delivered (You don't call someone by the cruel name his tormentors use and cast up his poverty at him without apologizing). 

Was generally a nasty little bigot/called Muggleborns Mudblood

0 Trevors, 0 jars

We know he was acquainted/dormmates with Avery and Mulciber. We also know Avery and Mulciber tried to do something Gryffindor deemed 'dark magic' to Mary MacDonald (I posit most  of them wouldn't know dark magic if it played the tuba in the Common room). We don't, however, know exactly what Severus was doing at the time. 

There's no canon proof that he used mudblood frequently. The Mudblood usage accusation is either hearsay or evidence of Lily being a giant hypocrite. We don't know how he felt toward Muggles in general, although I would guess 'not positively' is a good base. We do, however, know that Lily seems fine with James and co. hexing/jinxing other students as long as it's not 'dark'. Mighty fine line, there.

Joined the Death Eaters 

8 Trevors, 0 jars

This one is just sad and a bad decision. We don't know precisely when he joined, probably post-Hogwarts. We also don't know what he did. I doubt he was joining in on the pillaging front with wild abandon, given Bellatrix's reaction to him. Brewing, maybe? Some light snooping? He was apparently pretty low-level until the prophecy.

The Prophecy debacle

3 Trevors, 0 jars

I'm going to level with you - if my boss was able to read minds/see my memories and I'd overheard the start of the prophecy, I'd tell him too. He didn't hear 'will be born', so I'm giving him a pass on 'was willing to kill a baby!' Like most normal people, he probably thought it was about an adult. It's not as if he sent Voldemort a collated list of any possible targets, complete with addresses, pithy observations, and a map detailing the easiest apparition points. He wasn't Voldemort's secretary.

And once he found out just how bonkers Lord V was, he did his best to mitigate the fallout, at great personal risk. (To be clear - his actions set in motion Harry's blood protection. He was also under no obligation to care about what happened to James Potter, especially since 15 was only 5 or 6 years in the past.)

Bullying every single student he ever taught/being a monstrous abuser

2 Trevors, 6 jars for shoving Harry's potion off a desk once and going 'Oops!'

We know Severus Snape bullied precisely two students in nis career: Harry and Neville. He, in all respects, seems to be a highly-regarded member of staff. He didn't mark any other house down and he didn't keep children from learning. He also really cares about the students' health and safety (see his reaction to Ginny being taken). Wouldn't you think that if he actually bullied every single student ever some Weasley would have complained?

Also, having Harry rewrite and catalog the record of his father's wrongdoings is objectively hilarious. And kept him safely in one place where he could be watched. And as the potion destruction didn't really affect Harry's final grade, it's just hilarious pettiness.

The toad and boggart issue

1 Trevor, 5 jars for giving me the name of my eventual pub (the Toad and Boggart)

I would like to remind everyone that Remus Lupin coached Neville into visualizing his boggart. It could have been his Gran. Also, he was more sheepish than terrified and he smiled. Please reread and give Neville more credit. He was hardly a shaking lump or terror.

Now, why, pray tell, was Trevor even in a Potions lab? No one else has a visible pet. Is Crookshanks having a nosy about the storage cupboard? No. Is Scabbers having a snooze in an empty cauldron? No. Then why is Trevor even there? Because health and safety standards don't apply to Neville? Why isn't Trevor nice and cozy in his terrarium? While threatening a child's pet in the guise of motivation is a 100% dick move, he may also have been motivating Neville to leave the toad in his dorm. Where it belonged. 

Hermione

1 Trevor, 0 jars

He shouldn't have made the crack about her teeth, but when life hands you a chance to prove you hate Gryffindors to your Voldemort-groupie students to secure your rep for spying, you can't turn that down. Hermione was also not that bothered and turned the situation to her own advantage. She'd wanted to change her teeth magically.

He was perfectly justified taking points when he did (those times when he took points for H disrupting class) - Hermione had a bad habit of ignoring any teacher's rules she didn't agree with in the moment. She was warned to stop and didn't heed his warning, ergo points loss.

Remus Lupin

2 Trevors

This one gets brought up over and over. I'm just going to say that if my colleague, already on thin ice due to him bullshitting around the Wolfsbane potion (it's implied he delays taking it and seems to enjoy toying with Snape), forgot to take his potion and nearly killed me and three students, including one I had sworn to protect, I would be livid. While it's not nice to let lycanthropy slip, Remus had resigned prior to this. He was leaving before there was any parental or Board reaction due to his own irresponsibility. Snape bears 0 responsibility for any legislation barring werewolves from employment, as well. 

Submitted by M. McGonagall

Snaffling all the chocolate Hob Nobs and chocolate caramel Digestives from the staff room biscuit plate and charming the Garibaldi biscuits to look like them

10 Trevors, 10 jars (perfect Snime)

Severus Snape is clearly a perfidious reprobate, incapable of feeling any remorse for his biscuit Snimes. 

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 22

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader      CW: Language, angst, violence, blood A/N: thanks for all the comments/asks xx

Chap 22 Playlist

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 22: How I'm imaginin' You

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March 15th, 1976

It was just over ten past eleven when they called it a day.

“Night, Reg! I’ll see you later!” Y/N called. Regulus beamed, waving back before scurrying in the direction of the Slytherin common room. For the past week, she had brought him to the small hidden room by the library she found over the winter break. Red and green blankets clashed together on the old couch, pillows and candles, books and even his violin was there. It became their — or mostly his safe place.

She’s kept quiet about their secret meetings, mainly because Regulus seemed so skittish at the mention of other people and simply because he was a Slytherin. It put her into a tricky position considering not many Slytherins were like Regulus — they weren’t nice to those of her blood status. Besides, house rivalry was no joke and honestly, Y/N was confused. What did he mean that he couldn’t be seen with her?

The bitter cold began to subside as April neared. The full moon had risen, nearing its peak as she walked through the empty corridors, way past curfew. Distantly, she could hear footsteps becoming louder but made no move to hide once the student came into view with no prefect or Head Boy or Girl pass. That was until the hunched figure seemed to drift closer, coming into her direct line of view. Once they passed, the student knocked into shoulder roughly, making Y/N stagger back into the rough jagged wall.

Crinkles formed in her skin, frowning. They knocked into her purposely. The first thing she took notice of was their tie, a Slytherin. Of course. But when her eyes continued to drift up, she wasn’t surprised to see who it was: Snape.

“Watch where you’re going,” he says, a nasty leer on his face.

“You better watch yourself. Must be obsessed with me.”

“Is that a threat?” It wasn’t, not really, but Snape’s ego is a fragile, fickle thing.

Snape stands taller, his shoulders squaring to appear intimidating but it does nothing but make Y/N’s lip curl up before suppressing it.

“Seems like it to you.”

Seething, his skin becomes an angry blotchy pink. Greasy hair never mattered to her, some people even rocked it but on Snape — anything on him seemed to irk her. His hair seems to stick to his face and an intrusive thought wiggles in and suddenly, she wants to ring it out — see if enough grease would come out so she could cook with it.

But, she readjusted her vision, observing the tight grip he has on his and that he managed to draw without her noticing. On instinct, Y/N slips her out too, her other hand ready to use wandless magic.

She remembers a long time ago, her mother always told her to never start a fight, but to finish it. She guesses that there wasn’t another other option but to listen.

“You’re foul — wretched trollop —” “What did you just call me?!”

Snape jabs a nasty finger into her shoulder before she slaps it down, hard. “You heard me, trollop. Things were so much better when you weren’t around.” His voice drops low, dripping in venom.

“Could say the same thing. I wonder if Lily knows the way you treat women when she isn’t around.” Y/N dangles the threat above his head for leverage. “I bet she would be in for a real shock if I told her.”

There was an ugly pause.

Snape’s nose flares and she would have backed down but since she hadn’t gotten to defend herself last time around Lily, there was no way she wasn’t going to this time.

Snape steps closer in a challenging manner. Eyes burned strong in detest that she even feels it. His hand trembles, going white from how hard he’s gripping his wand. A wild look crosses; he looks feral — like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth.

A spell is already forming on his tongue before she raises her wand, throwing up a shielding spell she learned. A bright blue sheet, in the shape of an invisible dome explodes from the tip of her wand just as Snape shoots a spell. The curse is powerful, making her knees buckle. It was at that moment she realized that maybe she should’ve just walked away. Y/N was good at defensive charms — great — but not at offence charms and clearly, they were among Snape’s specialties.

As shoots another spell, Y/N focuses and puts all of her concentration into the shielding charm — so strong that it pushes Snape back roughly and an item from his pocket slips out, plummeting to the floor. In strong silver letters that made her skin raise with goosebumps, it read: The Dark Arts. The overpowering sensation of revulsion and outrage fuels her, beginning to shake.

“You’re a fucking freak,” she blurts.

It touched a nerve. “Watch it, you dirty little mudbl —”

Most people (and Y/N would include herself with them) like to think of themselves as rational beings; civil, thoughtful, just, benevolent, humane. However, when things ripped at the seams without a given warning, people — we — are no better than wild animals. Even if you don’t know it, there’s an animal inside all of us, waiting to pounce and protect.

Without a beat, filled with pure adrenaline, hate and shock, the protective spell fell and Y/N stormed up to him, drawing her entire arm back as her fist curled into a ball. In a flurry, she delivered a sharp blow as hard as she could in the nose.

There was a loud cracking sound that ricocheted through the corridor, simultaneously, thick blood gushed out of Snape’s nose like a waterfall. It sprayed all over their robes, the ground and covered her hand.

She winced in pain, flicking her wrist a few times, noting the skin splitting around her knuckles deeply. Her ears rang like a whirling fan, radio static, a hissing radiator as Snape stumbled back, a hand shooting up to stop the bleeding. His eyes were filled with tears.

“Call… me that again…” her breathing was ragging and voice shaky, “And we’ll see what else happens.” Before Snape could retaliate, Y/N spun around and dashed off to the Gryffindor common room.

Her footsteps echoed around as she felt her eyes sting with tears but made sure to squeeze her eyes shut. Out of all people, she wasn’t going to cry because of Snape.

She wasn’t a mu — a mudl — she wasn’t that. She was more than that word.

She needed to tell Lily.

Tears were replaced with anger. There wasn’t a single coherent thought that seemed to force its way out.

Before the Fat Lady had time to ask for the password, Y/N shouted it out, nearly ripping the portrait door off. The force resulted in a large — BANG! — then slammed shut and Y/N distantly heard the portrait yell.

She took a deep breath, bending over while a hand clutched her knee. Distracted, it caused her to miss the familiar boy sitting on the opposite side of the room who stood up.

Her fist began to ache once the shock slowly wore off. A quiet, dejected groan slipped out as she stared at her clothes. She must’ve looked insane.

The sound of the wooden floorboards creaked and Y/N peered up. There, dressed in all black clothing was Sirius, staring at her bewildered. His eyes scanned her entire body, noticing the rusty blood staining her white blouse and hand.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” She gritted out defensively. She wasn’t in the mood to be anywhere near Sirius, let alone hear another insult. Without the ability to think rationally, Y/N wondered if she’d had the restraint to not punch him if he said something idiotic.

Sirius’ brow raised, not expecting that response but didn’t bite back. “I — Merlin — what happened to you? Are you okay?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, attempting to shield herself and moved towards the stairs. “Like you care.”

“I don’t,” he counters quickly. But he sighed, gravitating towards her and lightly grasped her elbow. Y/N turns around harshly, ripping away from him.

“Who do you think you are? Don’t touch me!”

Sirius’ hands raised, signalling submission; similar to a prey to its predator. “I’m not going to hurt you and I’m certainly not going to let you bleed everywhere! Come, sit — I’ll patch you up.”

She eyed him warily, then closed her eyes. Y/N’s chest rose in irregular intervals, weighing out the pros and cons.

She’s heard that he’s gotten into fights and probably wasn’t lying about knowing how to patch up wounds.

He’s an asshole.

He didn’t like her.

She didn’t trust him

Why would he want to help her?

But the stinging sensation flooded in again. Y/N desperately sought to gauge for any underlying motive but Sirius was unreadable. If anything, his grey quartz eyes weren’t as hardened; more blue bleed in, looking brighter — her heart gave a little thump.

With a nod, Sirius gave a weak smile and led her to the couch closest to the fireplace for light. He told her to stay put, took his jacket, threw it on the couch opposite, then ran up to his dorm and grabbed a medical kit along with a bowl and cloth. Rushing back, Sirius set down his supplies and with a flick of his wand, the bowl was instantly filled with water, his hands sparkling clean.

Body angled to face her while sitting, Sirius gently took her hand and submerged the cloth in water, ringing it out, then diligently worked to clean off the blood.

Why didn’t he just use magic? He wouldn’t have to touch her then…

She burned more from his touch than the wounds themselves. When it came to James or Remus, there wasn’t anything that made her skin tingle or spike in sudden shyness when she touched them. But whenever Sirius was just near, she felt her heart speed up, palms start to sweat and brain go completely blank.

They sat in silence. Every now and then, Sirius would glance up. Only when he had a disinfectant, he flicked his hair out of his face, seeming to be in deep thought and spoke;

“What happened?”

Y/N remained quiet, a faraway look now settled in her eyes. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she broke Snape’s nose. She’s seen what broken noses looked like — she grew up colouring nose and sinus anatomical charts in the O.R gallery while she waited for her mom to finish surgery. She was in deep, deep trouble if Snape were to rattle. Detention, house points, expulsion — a possible criminal assault charge.

Shit.

“Hey, Y/N.” He placed a hand on her knee, the cool metal of his rings seeped through her stockings. That caught her attention. That was the first time he’d ever said her first name. His voice was soft — the softest he’d ever spoken to her before. “It’s okay, you don’t need to tell me but I promise I won’t tell a soul. Not even Potter or Evans. It’ll be our little secret.”

She breathed, “I… um —” She stopped and Sirius gave an encouraging squeeze. “Snape, he… he called me a you-know-what and I…” The rest was self-explanatory.

Sirius’s body became stiff. There was a subtle change in his micro-expressions as his jaw tensed, sharpening his features even more. His eyes, which burned with a fiery rage contrasted greatly as he cradled her hand as if she were made out of glass. Sirius huffed, mumbling out ‘thank you for telling me’ and proceeding to clean the wounds. She winced as the cotton pad touched her knuckles, her free hand clutching onto his shirt.

“I know this part’s shit. I’m sorry, sorry…”

She bit down on her bottom lip to prevent pained noises from slipping out. Sirius applied a light magical cream that helps reduce scarring and wrapped gauze around her hand; holding it in place with a magical seal that made it into a light cast. He added a few magical seals along with waterproof charms.

“There.”

She marvelled at his work, he did an amazing job and whatever he did, her pain reduced drastically. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me…” His voice trailed off, a small smile appearing, “Anyone that hates Snviellus is… okay in my books. And what are co-parents for?” He tries to joke. At this, Y/N perks up, a sharp exhale of air forced its way from her lungs; emulating a half-light-hearted scoff.

But soon their smiles disappeared and something strange flashed in Sirius’ eyes. Suddenly, the air around them shifted, becoming tense and enclosed.

Sirius was oddly close to her — since when did they become that close?

Her heart pounded wildly in her ribcage and Y/N wondered if he could hear it over the crackling fire. He’s so close that she could feel his breath fanning her skin. She registered his thumb grazing over the bandage. The warm colour from the fire illuminated his face, different from his usual cool-toned skin. His face looked sharp, more refined than usual. He looked enchanting, so regal and otherworldly without trying to — like a painting.

Sirius opened his mouth to say something but he trails off, leaning closer. His hand trailed up, touching her arm lightly and moved to cup her cheek delicately. The entire time, his eyes trained on her for any glimmer of irritability or discomfort. His thumb began to stroke her skin and she lent into it. It’s large and warm and his touch feels so, so fucking good.

Sirius chooses his next words with caution. “Can I?” He murmurs but the question is clear — louder than any screaming match she had with him. His lips are millimetres away from hers.

In times like these, that Gryffindor bravery was nonexistent.

Y/N’s mind is vacant, internally freaking out but still manages to choke out, “Yes.”

Frozen in place, his eyes flicker from her eyes, then lips, and back to her eyes. He tilts her head back slightly using his hand before it travels to the back of her neck and leans in. But, there’s something in Sirius that hesitates.

The hesitation is too long because a voice could be heard from beyond the portrait and the sound of it swinging open causes them to break apart. She misses the contact already. Sirius stands hastily, wand swishing to clean up the mess around them in a daze. A beautiful blush settles on his face; a hand runs through his hair, rings catching the low light and widens the gap between them. He put his jacket back on.

Y/N’s brain hadn’t caught up yet. Too much happened too quickly. 

“Pads? Where have you’ve been? The moo —” the moment he sees her, his voice draws out, “— ooooony! Moony! He’s waiting for us. Whiskers! Ugh — h-hey!”

Peter fucking Pettigrew, in the flesh.

She makes sure to hide her hand and bloodied shirt from him. “Evening, Pete.”

Sirius coughs awkwardly and clears his throat, Peter doesn’t look suspicious. “Yeah, ugh — right. Sorry,” he takes a pause, eyes drifting momentarily to her and back to Peter, “Was busy with our Puffskein. Let’s go.”

“Night, L/N!” Peter acknowledges. He even sends finger guns.

Y/N is left stunned, watching Sirius leave. The door clicks and her body slackens.

In a haze, she padded into her dorm: quiet and dark, everyone fast asleep. She took a very cold shower, changed into her pyjamas, brushed her teeth and threw out her bloodied robes. Then, she pulls back the curtains around her bed. A floating candle burned brightly as Lily was there, writing in her journal.

“What took you so long?!” Lily chirped, sliding over to give her more room to slip in. Letting the drapes fall shut behind, she hummed in response.

“Puffskein. Oats.” She’ll talk to Lily about Snape another day — that is if Dumbledore doesn’t expel her.

Y/N rolled over to her side, facing away from Lily. The cool pillow did nothing to help chill her heated skin. It’s like she can feel the ghost of Sirius’ fingers graze her cheek still.

Lily babbled — something about Dorcas and Mary inviting them to skate one last time before the ice melted. But it all went in one ear and out the other.

God, she thought, mad at the realization. There was no point in denying it anymore; she’d been doing so for months and clearly, it was fruitless. I like Sirius Black. I really, really like Sirius Black.

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She didn’t get a wink of sleep. Her mind reeled the entire night, replacing the scenarios again and again, analyzing everything he said, his actions — that look on his face. All she thought about was Sirius: his eyes, his smile, his hair, his skin, his hands, his fucking lips — Argh! Sirius was the personification of Firewhiskey and all she wanted to do was drink more of him — and they hadn’t even kissed!

Sirius is arrogant, rude, cold, cat-called her — insulted her! A part of her felt disgusted — disgust how her heart raced wherever the mere thought of him appeared in her mind. Disgusted how her heart leaped whenever he was near. Out of all people, why him?!

She fucking hated Peter Pettigrew right now — or loved him, she wasn’t sure. Maybe he saved her from making a terrible mistake.

Okay, okay! First things first, she had to stop thinking about him! She forced herself to think about something else: Charms — Professor Flitwick — Peter’s grandma in her ‘purple knickers’ — Slughorn — Slughorn in his underwear — yes, that certainly stopped any more lewd thoughts. Her mind and body were at war.

“Rise n’shine, darlings!” Marlene sang in a high-pitched Victorian accent as she tripped the blinds back. Y/N peeked out from the small gap in her curtains, watching Marlene tiredly. Everyone groaned, Dorcas even threw a pillow at her. Y/N, unaffected, blinked and perched herself against the headboard, yawning. “Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!”

“Marls…” Dorcas groaned. She rubbed her eyes and squinted at the clock that hung above their large window, quickly collapsing into bed and dove under the covers. “It’s six in the morning…”

Marlene hopped over and ripped off Lily’s covers only to realize she was with her. She skipped her way over, ripping the drapes back and jumped into her bed. Toulouse hissed, jumping off before Marlene snuggled up to Lily, proding her cheek.

She gave Y/N a once over, “Morning sugar.”

She continued to poke Lily who forced her eyes open, trying to swat at her. Lily flipped over, moving over to Y/N. Marlene rolled her eyes, but a hurt pang flashed her face before she covered it up. Instead, she bellowed, taking hold of Lily’s shoulders and shook.

“EVANS! EVANS — YOU TOO L/N, WAKE UP NOW!”

“McKinnon! What do you want?!”

She gave a triumphant smirk. “Quidditch! It’s Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff today!”

Marlene was already decked out in her tracksuit, ready to go on a jog around the castle with the rest of the Gryffindor team. Once everyone woke up, they all gave her one of many pep talks and ushered her off.

The morning was slow for everyone but Y/N. Her thoughts drifted away from Sirius, only to think about the next worst thing possible; Snape.

Damn… she had to tell Lily, but how? ‘Hey, Petals! One of your friends — if not your best friend, called me, a Muggleborn — which if you forgot, you are too —the cruellest word there is! And he was caught with a book about The Dark Arts!’

She would tell her, but not today, or at least until after the Quidditch game.

As Y/N got ready for the day, everyone noticed the bandage around her hand (which she lied and made an excuse using Oats), then headed down for breakfast. The Gryffindor team was huddled around Marlene and James. Mary and Alice sat close, giving her a small wave.

Downing coffee after coffee, the caffeine strangely made her sleepier as she listened to James and Marlene’s agonizing rambles. Lazily flicking through sections of the Daily Prophet, she waited for a letter from her mother. None — again. Until a hand came out of nowhere, snatching the paper from her grasp, leaving Y/N to huff out.

She didn’t even need to look up to know who it was. “Mornin’ Professor,” she mumbled, reaching over to grab it from him.

“You look like you’ve been shagging the whomping willow,” Remus jokes, shaking his head with a smile.

At this, Mary leans in and whispers into her ear, “Didn’t we suggest Remus —” “Or Black? Not a tree!” Marlene adds.

She ignored them but felt her stomach drop at the mention of Sirius. Remus wore his gold oversized glasses today. His curls were tousled, eyes slightly bloodshot and he seemed to be sluggish that morning. She scooted over making room as he took a seat next to her. She grinned back, “You look like shit too, Lupin.”

Remus’ smile turned brighter.

James floated two plates to them, filled with their favourite foods while Y/N poured Remus a mug of coffee, dumping an ungodly amount of sugar in, handing it to him. From all the times they brought coffee or tea for each other, whether that be for study groups, lounging in the common room or walking past the kitchens while heading to class, they knew how they liked their beverages by heart.

He flashed a tired smile, humming as he took a sip. Their dating rumours hadn’t calmed down yet, so when a couple of students passed by, looking between them enviously, they both side-eyed each other humorously.

“We’re such catches,” she whispered to him.

“Abso-bloody-lutely — hey!” He randomly cuts in, pointing to her bandaged hand, “We’re matching.”

He raised his hand, showing a couple of his fingers taped together before a long bandage was wrapped around his palm and travelled down his wrist, disappearing beyond his red sweater.

Y/N mused at it before grabbing a quill from Marlene who’d been sketching out the Quidditch pitch and dipped it into an inkpot, handing it to Remus.

His head tilted, “Hmm?”

“Sign mine and I’ll sign yours?”

His long calloused fingers took the quill from her, doodling on the white bandage gently. He drew Dumbledore with pom-poms, cheering for the upcoming Quidditch game, along with a smiley face, his initials and a couple magical creatures. Then passed the quill back, placing his bandage hand on the table and flicked open the Daily Prophet. A few splotches of ink splattered around as she drew The Beatles on broomsticks, all chasing a Golden Snitch. She also drew Remus as David Bowie’s cover as Aladdin Sane, using his scars to make the lightning bolt and quickly signed her name.

Lily and Peter had come in, taking a seat and Y/N had become hyper-aware of Sirius sitting down directly across from her. Both of them stiffened and she continued to avoid his gaze as she drew on Remus.

“We’re going to be fine, it’s only Hufflepuff.”

“Nope, Hufflepuffs know how to get shit done,” Peter says, his mouth stuffed with food. “Never underestimate them — what the fuck?!”

Everyone in the Great Hall collectively held a breath, looking up at the Slytherin table. Lily’s eyes almost bugged out in rage, her ears becoming red as she got up and walked over.

It was Snape, but it wasn’t his nose that caught people’s attention. No — his nose was fine — he must’ve gone to the hospital wing that night.

“What happened to him! Ahah!” Peter cried out, “He looks like my house elf!”

There, Snape stood completely bald with no eyebrows and wearing Gryffindor robes.

Y/N slapped a hand to her mouth, desperately trying to calm her shrieking laughter but couldn’t. She and Remus lent on each other, trying to not tip over the hall bench. Everyone whopped loudly, James even whistled.

But as everyone was occupied with the sight, the person who she expected to be howling in laughter that most definitely should’ve been was Sirius. He simply drank from his goblet, his eyes peered over to her with a knowing look and bowed his head ever so slightly and looked away.

Oh.

Ohhh.

She was left with more unanswered questions than ever.

[acerbicanimagus]

Snape and Filch: same problems, different men

Again, there was this discussion in a group chat and to answer @bowieisawizard 's message saying, "What do we think Snape thinks of Filch? Cause he's nasty all the time and im not sure why anyone really tolerated it." I wrote this:

I think Snape recognised a lot of himself in Filch's bitterness and hostility towards the students. I can't imagine the students treated Filch very nicely, but that's of course a chicken-egg situation. I think Filch had quite reputation of being nasty which probably didn't help the students' attitude towards him. I think Snape could tell why Filch behaved like he did and didn't think it was JUST because he was cruel as a person, but I don't think Snape approved of Filch' behaviour.

I also don't think Snape's own cruelty towards the student body was entirely based of his double agenda. Yes, it wouldn't do for him to be known for his kindness towards Harry and his lot, but even before Harry came to Hogwarts , when Voldy was still considered "gone", he was nasty to his students. But if we headcanon an overemotional, feral, young Snape who would constantly lash out for just about anything remotely negative, which I kind of do, it translates really well into cruel teacher Snape. He just can't keep his mouth shut. He just want to have the last word and his tongue just lashes out at every student who brings him negative experiences, may that be anger, annoyance or whatever petty thing, you name it.

I think Snape just was one snarky and sardonic SOB, though he didn't want any real harm to befall on the students. But that's where he differs from Filch, who openly and genuinely seems to enjoy students' suffering.

[dusk-realm]

Chrysanthemum [Chapter 10: Potions are scary]

Tagging: @featurelengthfics @pan-lokistan @thedungeonsbat @severussnapesupporter @southsiderepresent @gbatesx @a-slytherin-sin

You can check out my masterlist.

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‘Hey Hermione... Hermione!’ Ron protested.

‘What?’ The young witch snapped back into reality.

‘What’s next?’

‘Er…’ Hermione consulted her textbook; she had been marking on it each step they had been through with their potion. ‘Now it’s the mucus.’

‘Nuh-uh, we already did that’

‘W-what? But that’s not what it says here, I-’

‘Honestly Hermione, what’s up with you today?’ The ginger protested. His partner shushed him, as Snape was walking around not too far away.

‘Have you seen Neville today? He’s with that girl again.’ She whispered.

‘Who?’ Ron leaned forward and squinted his eyes, trying to find the boy, ‘(Y/N)?’

Snape’s head jerked toward the two Gryffindors as if an invisible switch had just been activated. His eyes were way more open than normal, which made him look like a madman. Hermione kicked Ron’s shin under the table as a warning.

‘I thought they weren’t friends anymore.’ Hermione whispered, once the danger had gone away. Ron only shrugged and grimaced at how disgusting the colour of their potion was.

‘Suppose you were wrong…’

That earned him another kick from the witch.

‘Ouch! Stop that!’

‘I’m serious! Have you ever seen her speaking to anyone else? Don’t you think it’s a bit… odd?’

‘Actually-’ Harry butted in from behind them. ‘She doesn’t speak much. We met her in Snape’s office when he caught us trying to get into the castle.’

‘In Snape’s office?’ Hermione narrowed her eyes. ‘Why would she be in Snape’s office on the arrival night?’

‘She’s a Slytherin,’ Ron reminded, ‘why does it matter anyway? I don’t think she’s ever going to speak after last ni-’

‘CLOCKWISE NEVILLE,CLOCKWISE!!’ A panicked voice shrieked. A cloud of fumes soon appeared and expanded, and everyone tried to run away from the source, (Y/N) and Neville’s cauldron, causing havoc in the classroom. Some people even screamed a little bit.

‘Silence!’ Snape roared, trying to get the class to settle down. The professor strode towards the Longbottom boy with his cape billowing behind him. He looked feral when he saw (Y/N) on the floor, fainted, and-

‘She’s bleeding!’ Cried someone.

‘SILENCE!’ He shouted. Snape never shouted, which made it even scarier.

Severus touched the girl’s cheek softly. His hand was shaking a little and his heart beated fast. He tried shaking her awake, but to no avail. Finally, he got up and disappeared behind a door that lead to a small storage room. He only took a few seconds, but there was already a circle of people swarming around (Y/N).

‘Move away!’ The professor ordered moodily, as if he was willing to hang anyone that disobeyed him from the ceiling.

Severus kneeled and, taking (Y/N)’s face with one hand, he pressed in the centre of her cheeks with her fingers, forced her mouth open and fed her a good portion of Wiggenweld Potion. As he did so, he declared solemnly:

‘20 points will be deducted from Gryffindor for your sheer incompetence and compromising another student’s health.’ He said, staring daggers at the dismayed boy. ‘Longbottom, detention with me today, at 8pm sharp.’

(Y/N) slowly woke up, although utterly disoriented. She looked around, her gaze landed on Neville, and then travelled to the black mass just above her. The figure made her swallow something, but she felt too weak to fight it.

Whatever it was, it must have not been important, because her sight clouded again and her consciousness drifted off to a deep slumber.

It was still bright when (Y/N) opened her eyes again. Her body felt extremely heavy, and her head spun. It almost felt like a hangover.

Ugh.

Her cold hand clutched the sheets that protected her body from the chill air of the castle. They didn’t feel quite as soft as her own.

‘Uhn…’ She groaned softly, as she very slowly sat up. She was at the Hospital Wing, and there was someone in dark robes.

Severus? Is it Severus?

(Y/N)’s eyesight cleared up to reveal that the bushy brown mane didn’t match up with Severus’ sleek black hair.

‘(Y/N)? Are you awake?’ Definitely that feminine voice wasn’t Severus’.

The Slytherin got up with a groan. It was Hermione Granger, but what was she doing here?

‘I think so…’ She answered.

‘How are you feeling?’

‘Ugh…’ (Y/N) thought about it for a second: her head spun, and the room was moving. ‘I think I’m going to throw up.’

On cue, the door flung open and in came Severus Snape carrying a small bottle in one hand and a scholar bag in the other.

‘You’re awake.’ he said, coming closer. Hermione turned around and greeted the professor:

‘Hello, Professor.’

‘Miss Granger.’ He acknowledged the Gryffindor girl’s presence with an expression of disdain and a stiff nod.

Then, he walked around the bed and sat down on a stool at the opposite side of Hermione, facing her but at the same time, ignoring her.

‘How do you feel?’ Snape asked in a softer tone.

‘Awful…’ His pupil confessed. She was pale and had dark circles under her eyes anyway, she wouldn’t have been able to conceal her state anyway. Snape placed his palm flat on the girl’s chest and gently pushed her back down until she was laying on the bed.

‘Rest well, you are dismissed from your classes tomorrow.’ He announced. The professor pulled a sealed note from an inner pocket in his robes and placed it on the bedside table.

‘Take this potion if you feel nauseous, it will relieve the symptoms.’

‘I think I’ll take it now, professor.’ She pleaded, almost not letting him finish the sentence. Severus nodded and let her drink the beverage. Once she was done, he retrieved the bottle and stood up:

‘Well then, I’ll leave you.’ He announced, and then, left without uttering another word.

Severus made sure not to slam the door behind himself. He took a look around the hallway… Nobody. He pulled out the familiar pentagonal box from inside his robes with a heavy sigh. He wanted to give it to her now, but he wasn’t able to with the other girl there. It’d just have to remain sitting in his drawer. Could chocolate frogs go bad? He hoped not, as the Slytherin Head went back down to the gloom of the dungeons.

‘So… Hermione, right? Not to be rude or anything but… may I ask, what are you doing here exactly?’

Hermione straightened up and put her nose up, ready to give an almost rehearsed answer:

‘Neville was worried about you, but he also felt guilty and scared that you might be angry at him, so he asked me to check if you were alright.’

(Y/N) couldn’t help but chuckle lightly. Poor Neville… he must have had an awful time.

‘Can you tell him that I’m okay? He can come… if he wants to, of course.’

‘Of course,’ Hermione smiled softly, ‘I’ll leave you to rest now, it’s been a pleasure to meet you.’

(Y/N) smiled back and watched the other witch walk away and close the door carefully.

Hermione made her way to the Gryffindor tower with a light spirit. That wasn’t so bad, she thought, even with Snape’s visit.

‘Wattlebird.’ The muggle-born pronounced in front of the fat lady. The portrait swung open and let her into the common room, where Ron and Harry awaited for her to update them while the latter tried to comfort an anxious Neville. The three of them lifted their heads in expectancy at the same time.

‘She’s fine,’ Hermione announced before they had the chance to ask, ‘she said you can visit her whenever you want, Neville. She won’t be coming to class tomorrow, though.’

‘Madam Pomfrey isn’t letting her?’ The red-haired asked.

‘Professor Snape…’ She clarified. She plopped on the couch beside her two comrades. Neville shivered from the mere mention of the dreaded name.

‘Snape was there with her?’ The boy continued.

‘He came to give her a note and a remedy and then left…’ 

Neville covered his head with both hands:

‘He’s going to murder me!’

‘Neville,’ Harry intervened for the first time, ‘if he didn’t murder us after crashing a car against the whomping willow… I think you’ll be alright.’

‘But the willow doesn’t belong to Slytherin! Will you take care of Trevor for me?’ He looked around, but nobody responded.

‘I think it’ll be best if you go see (Y/N) now before heading to Snape’s office. You really don’t want to be late…’

As soon as Neville left and the door was closed, Ron nudged Hermione.

‘So? How was she?’

‘I already said she was fine, weren’t you listening?’ Protested she.

‘No! I don’t mean that! What do you think of her?’

‘She was surprised to see me, but she was kind to me. I don’t know much about her, really...’

There was a tall figure standing in front of the window, which turned around slowly. Yesterday was a busy day after she woke up; first was Hermione, then Severus’ brief visit, and even Professor McGonagall had dropped by. Severus must have told her at some point. Lastly came Neville. He was both full of remorse and fear for whatever in Snape’s office for him. (Y/N) gave him an intense lecture on his lack of attention around potions, but she couldn’t really get mad at him. She had no idea of what punishment would Severus choose for the Gryffindor, but it wouldn’t be pleasant, that’s for sure. He could really get pretty nasty with detention and House Points if someone pushed the wrong buttons.

The person by the window cleared his throat.

‘Professor?’ (Y/N) called weakly. It was Dumbledore, there was no way of mistaking that silvery hair.

‘Ah, that was a good nap, (Y/N).’ He greeted with a gentle chuckle.

‘I suppose…’ She said. She scouted the room, but there was nobody else in sight. It was just Dumbledore and herself.

‘May I take a minute of your time?’ The old director asked. 

(Y/N) wanted to say no, that she’d rather go visit Severus, or Neville, but Dumbledore was giving her such a tender look…

‘Of course, sir.’ She finally agreed.

‘Sometimes,’ he started pausedly, as he plopped his old body on the edge of the bed, ‘ I wish I could take a very long nap too.’ Dumbledore chuckled lightly as he eyed (Y/N)’s expression. She was sitting up quite still, and her eyes shined with interest. 

‘If it wasn’t for Severus…’

‘Sorry?’

‘Being Hogwarts’ director carries a great deal of responsibility… I am very thankful to have Severus committing to helping me in the protection of Harry Potter…’ 

‘Hm… That seems like a rather difficult mission.’ She commented. She remembered the first day, when Potter and Weasley made their great entrance- yes, protecting that kid was a very difficult mission.

Dumbledore chuckled merrily, and (Y/N) smiled at him.

Poor old man, thought (Y/N), he only wants to be listened to.

‘Of course, I must thank you too for watching over the boys. I’m sure you are fully aware of their mischief now- the whole castle is.’ Said the headmaster, as he finally stood up.

‘It’s not necessary, sir.’ (Y/N) smiled meekly. ‘It was no problem whatsoever.’

‘I am truly glad to see that you are alright, (Y/N)’ The director said. The man patted softly (Y/N)’s thigh before leaving.

The encounter made her reflect deeply. Poor Severus… He was dealing with so much without even mentioning it once. Not one single complaint, ever! Severus dealt with being a full time professor here at Hogwarts, his numerous classes, keeping everyone safe in the classroom, being Head of House and on top of that, taking care of another of his students during his holidays and ensuring the living legend’s safety, which the boy didn’t make exactly easy. She thought that she should thank her protector for taking care of her and, at least, try to help him as much as she could, even if he never asked for it. But maybe later, because Madam Pomfrey had just entered the room with a massive silver tray for breakfast.

After a thousand questions and check-ups, the nurse discharged (Y/N) in the afternoon. The girl threw on her uniform with enthusiasm, stuffed her bag with her belongings and rushed downstairs toward the dungeons with a clear resolution in mind: she had to help Severus.

[shostakobitchh]

finally admitted to myself that ok maybe i doooo ship snily 🙄 the thing is that i cannot find fics… i mean i *can* but there’s too many and i don’t know where to start……. so this is me asking for recommendations from the only jily shipper i know of (i’m not in the fandom a lot lol). i think it would be cool to read about them getting together as adults or something where snape is a little bi (turns out i also ship snape and sirius…. whatever ok!!!) but truly anything you have i’m accepting hehe i trust you! thank you bye!!! ps; i miss a&i aka the fic that i love so much and that i shamelessly recommend to literally everyone i know xxxxx

hi!

I'm gonna be real with you; there is very little Snily and even fewer stories I've found that do them both justice. I find that many make Lily a damsel in distress with like, her only driving motive to be a mother, and James is ALWAYS a POS. And Snape becomes an alpha male who is too controlling and it just skeeves me out. Lily loses all autonomy the second they do the deed and it's just not my thing. Even with the few Snape/OC fics I've read; if Snape is not like feral and nasty and with someone who can match that energy, I have no interest in it.

I have two major stories that come to mind with A+++ Snily. I have discovered recently that I am somewhat of a Snape Snob when it comes to fics where I only enjoy it if he is an unhinged, bitter little asshole who is a little nuts and Lily is like, the only one who can stomach him and keep him somewhat calm, but she can absolutely match his level of crazy if/when she needs to.

Come Once Again and Love Me - laventadorn

I read this nearly a decade ago and I haven't picked it up again because it just breaks my heart and puts it back together. It's a "Snape gets a do-over" but he does NOT want the do-over - he doesn't want anything to do with Lily at all at first - but the author does such a beautiful job of showing Snape as a bitter 30-something-year-old back as a teen just as his life took a dark turn. And Lily is AMAZING - her grief over losing her life old life (when she thinks of Harry it's gutting) but finding Snape again is just - UGH. She doesn't put up with his shit. She matches him and doesn't back down. She's awesome. A true queen.

A Dream Carved in Stone - diadelphous

I forgot about this one for a long time and recently reread it - I think I accidentally took inspiration from it with a certain potion LOL so I am giving full credit here - BUT - THIS is the best Snily I have ever read. It's during the first war where Lily and James never got together and Dumbledore approaches Lily and asks her to get Snape to confess he's a Death Eater. Their love story is - SO. FUCKING. GOOD.

They are both a little broken and a little crazy, but when people ask me how it would've gone down if Snape had known about Lily being pregnant, THIS story is how it would've gone down. When he's Soft with Lily it's so natural, it's so tender and raw and I die a little. Also, his reaction when Lily says she's pregnant is 10/10. It makes me laugh and cry every time.

I'm sorry I don't have more but I genuinely don't know of any others (at least that I like). I love this pairing so much LOL it makes me so sad there's nothing out there.

[shostakobitchh]

Hii🫶🏼 Random question. Do you believe Snape to have killed people directly, like he does with Dumbledore, while he was a Death Eater?

I remember Snape worrying about his soul in Deathly Hallows and it confused me. It would be odd if he’d never killed as a death eater but at the same time his corncern for his own soul could kind of point to that. What do you think?

I do think he probably killed people before he became a spy/was employed at Hogwarts. I’m very much against the narrative of “Snape never did anything bad when he was a Death Eater, he was just a poor lost boy!” when no the fuck he wasn’t, he knew what he was doing and he knew what would be expected of him. I would be VERY surprised if Snape had not killed before.

I’m gonna be honest, when Snape makes the comment about his soul, I always read it as him being facetious - as in like “you don’t want Draco to murder you but you’re okay with ME murdering you?”

I don’t think he was really worried about his soul, I think he was trying to get Dumbledore to change his mind. I mean, let’s talk about Snape’s soul at this point anyway - he regrets his past actions, but we know for a FACT that he told Voldemort the prophecy and got James and Lily killed. Wouldn’t that leave a mark on his soul? How does mercy-killing Dumbledore in lieu of a young boy doing it bear worse marks? He would be doing it to protect another.

Maybe I’m just a sucker for feral, nasty Snape who’s terrible at being the good guy, but I don’t think the soul comment meant as much as people read into. I think he was just being difficult because he was pissed at Dumbledore’s plan.

[wellpresseddaisy]

A List of roughly chronological Snape Crimes (henceforth known as Snimes) as referenced by Snaters, annotated, and rated on the Snime scale* which I have just made up.

*Severity is rated by Trevors, Entertainment Factor is rated by jars. Please feel free to debate the rating.

Spied in Lily Evans, aged 9, from a bush

0 Trevors, 1 jar

Is every Snater an obnoxious extravert who bounds up to new people, hand outstretched for a firm shake? A shy, poorly socialized, or introverted child may need some hanging about in a bush time. The jar is for an early reference to his penchant for dramatic entrances.

Dropped a branch on Petunia

0 Trevors, 1 jar

It was accidental magic and Petunia wasn't hurt. Honestly, if I were a child with poorly controlled magic due to heightened emotion, I'd have dropped a branch on her, too. Tuney was a pill.

Knew more 'dark magic' than any other Slytherin at age 11

0 Trevors, 3 jars

Probably didn't know any, unless he had some quick tutoring sessions with Lucius Malfoy right after sorting. Somehow convinced Sirius that he did, though, so 3 jars for the effort. Are we sure the 'dark magic' wasn't just pretending to throw a stick and hiding it behind his back instead? 

Made friends within Slytherin house

0 Trevors, 9 jars

Where, pray tell, is he meant to make friends? Outer Mongolia? With the Potions lab jars? Should he ostracize himself? Never speak to another Slytherin so as to free himself of the taint of evil? (Please see Eddie Izzard bit on ambition and the British) Consign himself to a life of sad, unseasoned boiled potato as he's unable to speak to anyone even to ask for the salt? Given that a Potter and a Black are gunning for him from before Sorting, taking the protection of a Malfoy is a savvy move from an up-and-coming young man. (And you DO NOT refuse Lucius Malfoy taking you under his wing). The jars are for the amusement of imagining Lucius having to deal with a near-feral Cokeworth child.

Spied on some prime assholes the Marauders, tried to get them expelled

0 Trevors, 6 jars

As his tormentors had a magic map, the efficacy of his spying can be debated. However, he is within his rights to want the people torturing him gone, especially as the adults have decided he doesn't matter. And last time I checked, the penalty for being nosy is not Death by Werewolf. (If anyone wants to try 'But James saved him' think of this - James didn't care one bit for Snape's life, but Remus or Sirius could have been in worlds of trouble. I'd wager he was more concerned for Remus than anyone else.) 6 jars for the mental image of wee babby Sape skulking about behind things.

Flung Mudblood at Lily, apologized later

3 Trevors, 0 jars

Look, we shouldn't be using slurs toward people we care about, but this is hardly the worst thing anyone has ever done. Given that he was restrained upside down with his underclothes on display to most of the school and she smiled a bit before trying to help him, one can see why he might be a titch out of control. Apologizing after was a good thing to do, despite Lily's reaction.

Was generally a nasty little bigot/called Muggleborns Mudblood

0 Trevors, 0 jars

We know he was friends with Avery and Mulciber. We also know Avery and Mulciber tried to do something Gryffindor deemed 'dark magic' to Mary MacDonald (I posit most  of them wouldn't know dark magic if it played the tuba in the Common room). We don't, however, know exactly what Severus was doing at the time. The Mudblood usage accusation is either hearsay or evidence of Lily being a giant hypocrite. We don't know how he felt toward Muggles in general. We do, however, know that Lily seems fine with James and co. hexing/jinxing other students as long as it's not 'dark'. Mighty fine line, there.

Joined the Death Eaters 

8 Trevors, 0 jars

This one is just sad and a bad decision. We don't know precisely when he joined, probably post-Hogwarts. We also don't know what he did. I doubt he was joining in on the pillaging front with wild abandon, given Bellatrix's reaction to him. Brewing, maybe? Some light snooping? He was apparently pretty low-level until the prophecy.

The Prophecy debacle

3 Trevors, 0 jars

I'm going to level with you - if my boss was able to read minds/see my memories and I'd overheard the start of the prophecy, I'd tell him too. He didn't hear 'will be born', so I'm giving him a pass on 'was willing to kill a baby!' Like most normal people, he probably thought it was about an adult. And once he found out just how bonkers Lord V was, he did his best to mitigate the fallout, at great personal risk. (To be clear - his actions set in motion Harry's blood protection. He was also under no obligation to care about what happened to James Potter, especially since 15 was only 5 or 6 years in the past.)

Bullying every single student he ever taught

2 Trevors, 3 jars for shoving Harry's potion off a desk once and going 'Oops!'

We know Severus Snape bullied precisely two students at certain points: Harry and Neville. He, in all respects, seems to be a highly-regarded member of staff.He didn't mark any other house down and he didn't keep children from learning. He also really cares about the students' health and safety (see his reaction to Ginny being taken). Also, having Harry rewrite and catalog the record of his father's wrongdoings is objectively hilarious. And kept him safely in one place where he could be watched. 

The toad and boggart issue

1 Trevor, 5 jars for giving me the name of my eventual pub (the Toad and Boggart)

I would like to remind everyone that Remus Lupin coached Neville into visualizing his boggart. It could have been his Gran. Also, he was more sheepish than terrified. Please reread and give Neville more credit. Now, why, pray tell, was Trevor even in a Potions lab? No one else has a visible pet. Is Crookshanks having a nosy about the storage cupboard? No. Is Scabbers having a snooze in an empty cauldron? No. Then why is Trevor even there? Because health and safety standards don't apply to Neville? Why isn't Trevor nice and cozy in his terrarium? While threatening a child's pet in the guise of motivation is a 100% dick move, he may also have been motivating Neville to leave the toad in his dorm. Where it belonged. 

Hermione

1 Trevor, 0 jars

He shouldn't have made the crack about her teeth, but when life hands you a chance to prove you hate Gryffindors to your Voldemort-groupie students to secure your rep for spying, you can't turn that down. Hermione was also not that bothered and turned the situation to her own advantage. He was perfectly justified taking points when he did - Hermione had a bad habit of ignoring any teacher's rules she didn't agree with in the moment. She was warned and didn't heed his warning, ergo points loss.

Submitted by M. McGonagall

Snaffling all the chocolate Hob Nobs and chocolate caramel Digestives from the staff room biscuit plate and charming the Garibaldi biscuits to look like them

10 Trevors, 10 jars (perfect Snime)

Severus Snape is clearly a perfidious reprobate, incapable of feeling any remorse for his biscuit Snimes.