#i just want to live but the connection i first created to feel safe is not making me feel fucking crazy

[awetistic-things]

took me a while to figure this out for myself, but my daydreaming isn’t a way to cope with my trauma, it’s just a prison to keep me from dealing with it

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Unsurprisingly, a lot of the commentary I'm seeing about this has been of the "But--but--I would do the same thing because I don't want anything bad to happen to the deer!"

Look. I love wildlife, and I love getting to see deer, coyotes, and even the occasional black bear in my neighborhood. But they are here because there is good habitat nearby with lots of natural food sources, not because I deliberately put out food for them to eat. I respect them as wild animals with whom my relationship is very different compared to the domesticated animals I take care of every day. A deer is not a sheep or a horse; a coyote is not a dog.

People who do things like try to tame deer or, worse yet, try to raise a fawn or other young wildlife like pets are robbing those wild animals of their natural existences. We've already wrought our own preferences on the landscape to a severe degree, tearing the wildness out of it to create lawns and farms and subdivisions and strip malls. When we then dismiss the wildness of these animals and impress our own desire for connection on our terms on them, we are harming them.

I've already written elsewhere about the difference between "tame" and "domesticated". No matter how docile that deer seems, it is never going to be as (relatively) safe and tractable as a domesticated sheep or goat. It will always be more unpredictable, and more likely to lash out suddenly at a person due to fear, or hormones, or protection of young.

These animals need their wild instincts to be intact if they are going to survive without being dependent on us. They need those instincts in order to find mates and keep the gene pool stirred up. Their instincts keep them safe from danger, including humans. And their instincts never totally go away, no matter how much we may try to tame them otherwise.

This is why a good wildlife rehab is going to minimize handling of the wild animals they care for, especially those that are going to be able to be released back into the wild. The less comfortable these animals are with humans, the better their chances of surviving in the wild and having fulfilling, natural lives. Wildlife that retain their wariness of humans are less likely to end up falling prey to hunting, or being killed as nuisance animals when they get too aggressive in seeking food or otherwise coming into conflict with people.

The person who painted "pet" on a fully grown white-tailed buck and put a collar around his neck may have felt like they were doing that deer a kindness, but they have likely robbed him of the chance to just live a natural life as his own, independent being out in the woods and fields. He might be out there, sure, but perhaps he won't mate because he imprinted on humans. Or maybe he will end up shot by a hunter in spite of the precautions because he's just too friendly and those antlers are worth taking the shot.

There will always be something missing from this deer's life because of the arrogance of someone who thought they could own and keep and control a wild-born animal for their own enjoyment, instead of allowing him to come and go as he pleased. Honestly, it reminds me of King Haggard from Peter S. Beagle's The Last Unicorn, whose response to seeing something beautiful was to capture it and keep it rather than simply enjoying and remembering that magical moment:

"I like to watch them. They fill me with joy. The first I felt it I thought I was going to die. I said to the Red Bull I must have them, all of them, all there are. For nothing makes me happy but their shining and their grace. So the Red Bull caught them. Each time I see the unicorns, my unicorns, it is like that morning in the woods and I am truly young, in spite of myself."

That's how I feel about people who are willing to drastically alter a wild animal's behavior for their own selfish benefit, even if they think they're being kind. I know I'm fighting a bit of an uphill battle in this, but I'm rather stubborn that way.

[goldenwilliamson]

strangers | leah williamson

pairing: leah williamson x reader

a/n: longest fic yet. enjoy pls, i kind of love this. slight warning it does touch on the grief that one feels after a big breakup including (briefly) the awful physical symptoms of breakups. if that's sensitive for you i wish the best and advise that this might not be the fic for you x

summary: reader and leah are together for years before breaking up due to long distance. after a couple of years reader moves back to england and sees leah, and all the love comes flooding back. angsty, but fluffy.

word count: 3.3k

Your life changed when you were eighteen, not only because you signed for Arsenal, but you were in love for the first time in your life. From your early encounters with Leah, you could already feel yourself falling for her. You found her endlessly endearing, drawn in by her quiet confidence and warmth off the pitch, and her fiery commitment to every game she played.

Even though you were too scared to confess your feelings to anyone, you somehow found yourself one evening telling Leah how much you adored her. You told her about how you had felt a connection with her since the first time you met, and how it had only proved itself since then. And she reciprocated every single word of your rambling romantic confession.

From that night, you two were together for almost six years. For the most part, it was the best time of your life. You were playing at your dream club, with the perfect girlfriend, and you were happier than ever. Things always ran smoothly for you and Leah, it was just the way your personalities complimented each other. Conflict resolution came easy to you both, and you were able to talk to each other through anything that was troubling you.

For years it felt like you two were growing at the same pace, and that was why you were able to be together for so long. You both had the same visions for your future, and you had really planned on staying in London with Leah by your side for the rest of your life.

But that was all before you got the offer from Bayern Munich. You never imagined being away from Leah, and maybe you were naive in thinking long-distance would be easy for you guys. So you made the difficult decision to leave Arsenal, to leave London and Leah, and move to Germany.

After your move it became clear very quickly that proximity was important for you both. When your were living several countries away from each other, your connection which you thought was strong enough to withstand the world ending had started to be put to the test. You were talking and understanding each other less, and fighting more about stupid, trivial things. You saw a new, jealous side of Leah who would accuse you of spending too much time with new teammates, and not making time for her anymore. And you yourself were questioning Leah's attraction for you, as you couldn't feel that daily love and affection you'd been so accustomed to through the phone.

It all got to the point where you were struggling to even get yourself to training because you felt so drained by your inability to make things work with Leah. Your teammates at Bayern had noticed and had created a space where you felt safe enough to confide in them. After talking it through with some of your teammates who provided you with their objective opinions on the situation, you made the hardest choice of your life.

Leah's voiced was raised to the point where her it was almost breaking, "Six years Y/N, does all that mean nothing to you?"

"Leah, I will always love you. I just don't think as long as I'm in Germany we can be together. It's not good for us darling, we've been fighting more than ever, and I don't want to feel this resentment towards you... I don't want you to feel badly about me either," you had tried to explain, but it had come out much less clearly through your own tearful voice, punctuated with short breaths as you gasped for air.

"You can't do this Y/N. You can't give up on us," Leah had begged you, but you had remained firm in your decision and it was the last proper conversation the two of you had. Other than a couple of Champions League games where you avoided each other, and one brief trip back to London where you collected all your things from the apartment you shared, you hadn't seen Leah since.

The breakup was something you'd tried to forget, and even though it's been two years since then, you still often question whether or not you made the right decision that day. What stuck with you was the empty aching you felt every time a thought of her passed through your head. In spite of your best attempts to put it behind you and to move on, you will never forget how much love you felt for Leah, and how much grief and sadness you felt the instant you ended things.

Every week that has passed since then you have wondered what your life would be like if you and Leah had made the long-distance thing work. But now you were thinking about it even more because after a few seasons at Bayern, you were going back to play in the WSL.

When Man City approached you, your first instinct was that you absolutely could not go back to England. Because to you, England was Leah. Every memory of your time in England from when you moved at 18, to when you left at 23, is connected to Leah. As much as you loved your time in the country, you never thought you could go and live there again without her by your side. It just wouldn't feel right. However, after several meetings with your manager and calls with City, it became an offer you couldn't turn down.

At least you weren't going back to London, you thought. The distance between the capital and Manchester was just enough to feel like Leah wasn't completely within reach. Of course, it had been different once you were actually living back in England, playing with City, and having to face the reality that you and Leah would be on the same pitch again, but this time as virtual strangers.

You'd heard through the grapevine that over the last couple of years Leah had done her fair share of dating around, but you also were aware that she hadn't been in any serious relationship since you two broke up, and it was the same on your end. How were you supposed to move on when you still thought about your ex every day?

One night you were cooking dinner at your flat for yourself and Georgia Stanway, who had become a close friend of yours since her arrival at Bayern. You two had hung out a bit when you and Leah were still together, but even though Leah was one of Georgia's closest friends, she had never uttered her name around you or asked you anything about your relationship since she transfered to the German club. Not until you two were talking about how you felt about moving back to England and what it would be like playing for City, and you mentioned it first.

"It feels kind of wrong," you said honestly, "I still can't imagine not being an Arsenal player. And you know, being there without Leah."

Georgia looked at you sympathetically, "Do you miss her? I can't imagine how hard all that was for you both."

"I miss her every day, Georgia," you sighed, smiling just to ease the pain, "But I just have to keep telling myself it was the right decision, otherwise I think I'd just live in misery."

She gave you a hopeful smile, "I hope you two can work it out one day, even just as friends. I've never seen two people make each other so happy."

"Yeah I hope so too," you agreed, though the voice in your head told you that you could never make up with Leah after the way you ended things.

You had finally moved back to England after a tearful goodbye to your teammates at Bayern, but you knew it was for the best. Your first week in Manchester you were reminded of how much you loved living in England, mostly because of how different it was from where you grew up. Stepping outside always felt like stepping onto a film set. It was nice too, to catch up with old friends. It was already so much easier to organise trips into London to visit old teammates.

It was on a weekend that you were down in London, when you saw Leah for the first time. You should have known better, walking around St Albans, expecting that you wouldn't see anyone you knew. It wasn't a big enough city to get away with that.

It was still August and the League hadn't started yet, so you were free to make a trip down to London for the weekend to visit Caitlin and Katie, friends you had missed so much while you were living in Germany. You missed everything about Arsenal, but you knew there was no way you could go back there after the way things ended with Leah. It would be much too painful to even try to be friends after everything. There was too much history there that would have been impossible to set aside.

In the morning you had told Katie and Caitlin you would walk into town and buy some bread since they were out, and it was on your way home that you found yourself looking into the face of the person who you once loved more than anyone. It took a moment to register that she was actually there, getting closer as you kept walking.

"Oh my god," you said out loud, finding it extremely jarring to see her after all this time.

You both slowed to a stop in front of each other and Leah, who had always been the more talkative one, was left speechless. Looking at you her heart was both beating for you and breaking all over again.

After a few beats of silence you shook yourself out of your state of shock, "Hi, how are you?", you said.

"I feel like I'm dreaming," Leah said, finally smiling a little as she also moved away from the initial shock of seeing you again. The sound of her voice and the smile on her face brought you instant comfort. She looked different, in the best way. She looked older, which surprised you since she always had such a baby face. But now she looked mature, she looked her age, somehow so different from the 24 year old version of her you last knew.

"Me too," you agreed, laughing slightly at how awkward you were finding this to be. You'd imagined this moment endlessly over the last couple of years, but now that it was really happening you were at a loss.

"What are you doing here?" Leah shook her head, trying to make sense of seeing you.

"I'm staying with Katie and Caitlin for a couple of days," you explained.

"Oh, they didn't mention anything," Leah said, though she knows that people avoid talking about you around her. They know it's still painful for her to hear your name. Just like how Georgia never mentioned her around you.

You realised then that your transfer hadn't been announced yet by the City, and that Leah must know nothing of the news.

"You probably haven't heard, but I've actually moved back here," you say tentatively, knowing that the only reason you two weren't together was because you were living apart. But now you were closer than you had been in two years, and you had no clue what that meant, or if it had the power to change anything.

"What, to London?" Leah said quickly, her voice raising an octave in shock.

"No, I'm up North now. I've actually signed for City," you explain.

"Wow," she says, nodding her head and processing the news. The way she is looking at you doesn't give much away. Her face actually looks quite blank, as if she doesn't know at all how to feel about this.

"Yeah," you say quietly.

"Sky blue will suit you," she says simply and you smile, grateful for the playful comment.

"I don't know, I'm still struggling with the fact I'm not going to be back in red," you say, more meaning held in those words than you intended. Because not being back in red also for you meant not being back with Leah.

"I expected you to stay in Germany for a lot longer," Leah says and the feelings of guilt rush in. You'd thought about this a lot when you decided to come back to England.

The main reason you had called it quits with Leah was because you thought Germany was going to be your home for at least another five years. You couldn't do that many more years of distance, of short phone calls, of fighting and miscommunication. But of course you never thought after just a couple of years you would be coming back to England. And if you had, you might have been able to stick things out with Leah.

"I really did too," you say sincerely, hoping that she knows you wouldn't have done what you did if you knew you'd be back so soon.

Leah runs her hand roughly through her hair, and you can almost see the cogs turning in her head through the look in her eyes.

"This changes things then, doesn't it?" She asks, voicing the thoughts floating around both your minds.

"I suppose it does," you nod imperceptibly, afraid to admit it.

You stand in silence now, looking at each other trying to work out exactly what this changes.

"I miss you so much," Leah says, her voice thin and wavering.

"I know. I've felt sick without you," you say, voicing things you'd never voiced to anyone. You have genuinely experienced the most physical forms of grief for Leah. The first few months after the breakup you were nauseous everyday, throwing up even when your stomach was completely empty. It just felt impossible to go on without her.

Leah just nods, having been through the exact same things.

"I'm so sorry," you say finally taking the opportunity to apologise for the thing that you've felt so much guilt and remorse about.

"It's okay," Leah assures you, but you shake your head instantly.

"It's not, I don't know what I was thinking Leah," you say honestly, feeling the emotions all over again. Your eyes well up and Leah is quick to embrace you, allowing you to let it out in her arms.

"You were right about everything but," she says, "Things weren't working."

"Yeah, but I should've tried to work through it," you voice the things you'd been thinking over for the last two years, trying to compose yourself with deep breaths.

"I wasn't making it easy for you, I was so hard on you. I feel really bad about the way I treated you when you left," Leah reflects on her own behaviour.

"It's okay," you tell her now.

You stand in the middle of the footpath in St Albans, holding each other, both unable to believe that this was real.

"You don't absolutely hate me do you? Because I'd understand if you did," you say, stepping back to look at Leah, trying to ease some of the tension.

She laughs, "I tried hating you," she says, "But that lasted about a minute and then I just went on trying to love you less."

"And how did that go?" You ask hopefully.

"Yeah not very good," she says.

"I couldn't really get the hang of not loving you either," you say.

Leah is smiling, but you can see the reservation in her eyes. She knows that everything has suddenly changed, but still, nothing is the same as it once was. You feel it too.

"What do we do now?" She asks.

You shrug your shoulders, "I've got to deliver this bread back to Katie and Caitlin, do you want to come?"

"I'll come," she nods, "But what happens after that?" Leah says.

"After that," you sigh, "We are about two years overdue in catching up on each others lives, so I'd say we'll have a nice long chat."

You are stepping forward now, beginning the journey back to Katie and Caitlin's, and Leah is by your side.

"Best start now then," Leah says, and the two of you fall deep into conversation immediately. It warms you heart how at home you feel, even after all this time.

When you knock on the door back at the girls flat, Katie answers with a look of absolute shock on her face.

"What are you doin here!?" She looks right at Leah, as if she was an intruder.

"Well I bumped into this one in town and she invited me over, is that alright?" Leah explains.

Katie takes a moment to process the words before nodding and stepping back to let you both inside.

"Oh my god, what are you doing here?" Caitlin echoes when you all walk into the living room together.

"We've just bumped into each other," you say, "I thought I'd drop off the bread before Leah and I go and catch up."

"Cool, cool," Caitlin says, trying to mask her shock while Katie looks on, stunned into a very uncharacteristic silence.

"God, you two look like you've seen a ghost," Leah says.

"I feel like I have!" Katie stresses, and you feel the exact same way.

"Alright, let's go down the park," you suggest to Leah, a place where you two used to walk around in circles, chatting for hours. It seems like the perfect place to go.

"Perfect," she nods, "Bye you two," she looks between her teammates.

"See ya, have fun," Caitlin says.

"Don't kill each other," Katie says and you scoff.

"We won't," you roll your eyes.

You and Leah step out the front door you share a moment of laughter about the interaction.

"Did I hide my shock better than those two when I saw you?" You ask.

"Absolutely not, I believe your words were oh my god," Leah laughs.

You two end up at the park, walking around at first, talking about how you are going to be playing for City now and your time at Bayern. Leah gives you the big run down on what's been happening at Arsenal since you've left, telling you about all the new players. It's like seeing an old friend, and you're just so glad that she hasn't spent two years hating you.

After what must be over an hour, you two sit at a bench. Same one you would always find together on your morning walks.

It's weird being so physically close to her again. You want to reach out and hold her forever, but you think it might be too soon. Leah feels the same though and she shows it in the way her hand reaches out to find yours.

"Can I be honest with you?" She asks.

"Of course you can," you say with a squeeze of her hand.

"I haven't felt this..." she pauses trying to find the word, "Happy? Peaceful? I don't think there is a right word to tell you how right this feels to be with you again," she says, healing all the cracks in your broken heart.

"It feels the same as I remember it feeling," you say in agreement, "Like this is just how it's supposed to be."

"Would it be absolutely crazy of us to try to pick up where we left off?" Leah suggests.

"People will definitely think we're crazy, but I don't have a problem with that," you say.

"Is this really what you want?" Leah asks, using her free hand to gesture between you both.

"Yes," you say without missing a single beat, "I don't want to ever go without this again."

"Good. We're on the same page then," she nods finally.

Not wanting to wait any longer you ask her a question you've been dying to ask, "Can I kiss you, please?"

Without even a word Leah just smiles, leaning in to kiss you. Somehow it's a goodbye kiss, and a hello kiss, an I missed you kiss, and an I'm sorry kiss. It's everything you wish you could've said to each other in once simple gesture.

"I haven't stopped loving you for a minute, I hope you know that," you say quietly, as you pull apart.

Leah smiles, looking at you with all the love in the world, "I've spent years dreaming that one day we'd see each other again and you'd say that."

"In my dreams, you say it back," you joke.

"Sorry," Leah shakes her head, "I love you."

[luvtak]

corona borealis, lfx

✧ genre/tw rambly soul-crushing fluff, one sweet kiss!!, lovely as a pet-name, felix being an undeniably sweet bf like always and hearing a bedtime story <3 , largely unedited.

✧ w/c 952 <3

✧ a/n definitely not brought on by asea felix are you kidding... he's so lovely i just had to dawdle on about it somewhere so here you go! also, the thought of telling lix a bedtime story makes me wanna cry i hope i'm not alone. mwah!!

His arm is hot around you, keeping you safe from the scary silhouettes the shadows bring, and the night is breathing. A group of you had come to this little campground for a night away from the city lights, and while the two of you are alone you can still hear the rest of the boy’s nighttime sounds mixing in with crickets and critters. 

Your boyfriend stands beside you, listening intently as you tell him stories of the stars. Usually, these tales come from the comfort of your bed–rustling under covers and speaking into his mouth, sharing breath and love until you fall asleep, tracing false shapes in the plastic stars adorning your ceiling. But tonight, under the cover of a too cold darkness you tell him his bedtime stories beneath the sky. 

His face is tilted up, looking to see where your fingers are pointing, and the soft glint in his midnight eyes makes you pause. You’ve never known someone who looked so alive, someone with a sun for a soul. Felix has the brightest smile you’ve ever seen, alight with joy and senseless mischief–eyes wide with wonder at the constellations rising above him. 

Looking at him is dizzying; that feeling when you put your arms out and spin so fast you fall, a carousel going so round and round. You feel like flying, rising up like the moment Icarus’ wings took him up and away. 

Sometimes you wonder if it’s normal to feel like this… if everyone in love feels as though they are the creator, the inventor of such depraved desire and compassion for another. Surely, you must be the first–no one else had felt Felix’s fingertips on their skin or his lips sweetly drinking them in. How could someone say they’ve encountered a deeper love than this when your sweetheart is the embodiment of love, Venus as a boy. 

He turns to you in your moment of hesitation, smiling at you with all the care in the world. He loves you endlessly, burns for you and the soft caress of your affection. You can tell he doesn’t know why you stopped speaking, but he’s happy just the same–sharing your space and time, living in this moment with you. He remembers the first time you told him a story, speaking the words softly, he thinks he fell in love right there. 

“What’s that one?” he asks, catching your still raised hand in his own. 

“Oh, it's a crown, see?” you can see his eyes tracing the points, finding the shape that connects the points together. “It’s Ariadne’s wedding tiara, she was a princess of Crete who helped Theseus slay her brother the Minotaur Asterion. After they escaped the labyrinth, the prince left her on the Island of Naxos where she was found by Dionysus,” 

“He left her there?!” he gasps, your sweet boy forever confused by ill intentions, even in a story. 

“Yeah, he’s so lame, right? Anyway, after the God finds her on his island they fall in love and eventually marry… the crown was her wedding present, and after she died Dionysus flung it into the sky to honor her.”

Felix is quiet for a long time after this, inhaling the story with all the deference you deserve. After every narrative he takes his time to think about how he feels about it: the first time you finished a movie with him and he was quiet for fifteen minutes before he told you he liked it, he is like that now. Quietly staring at the sky, not ignoring you for his hand still made its path up and down your arm and you know if you called his name he’d answer, but you don’t want to interrupt his silent seeking. 

His life is noisy, spirited, and wonderful in all the ways a beautiful boy like him creates, your infatuation came in chaos–in mindless chatter and kitchen counter dance parties, but you fell in love in silence. In the moments when the world was quiet and all you could hear was his heartbeat, the drawling intake of his lungs filling and releasing. You adore his voice, but just existing with him, sharing the same air would be lovely enough for a lifetime. 

Finally, after minutes of staring ahead, he speaks–softly but with no less intensity, 

“If something were to happen to you I would make you into a constellation.” 

His eyes, bright with longing stare into yours, and you know he’s not being funny. He means it with all of him, means it with every atom of his being. 

Shocked and in love with him you laugh, bursting with fondness never hidden. “I love you too,” you say, for you know that's what he means. A love that spills from his veins whenever he thinks of you, so massive and consuming that the words aren’t enough. “I’d make a constellation for you too, it’d be the prettiest one in the whole sky.” 

When he moves closer to you, you can feel the smile radiating on his shadowed face–sweeping his grin over the plane of your cheekbones. Scorching your skin where his lips touch, a traveling forest fire of kisses. When his journey ends, sliding his mouth over yours the flames grow, getting taller and taller as his caress goes deeper. 

The night is chilly, but there is no need for a coat when his arms are around you–sweeping you into his embrace with only the stars to watch. 

“Lets go to bed, lovely” he muttered, breathing through open-mouthed kisses and shared smiles. Leading you to where your tent lies, to where stories and sleep await you–love and life and dreams filled with him, your constellation of a boy. 

© LUVTAK 2024

[lemmetreatya]

nude model!gojo who honestly became a nude modeller for fun. the man already had a successful career as a cat walker, cataloguer and a social media influencer but it just wasn’t doing anything for him.

“satoru, i just dont think it’s worth the indecency to move down that career pathe. plus it’s just tacky.”

safe to say, that personal assistant was sacked! that was nude model!gojo’s trigger to pull away from the agency life and is now a freelancing nude model — yippee!

but unfortunately, nude model!gojo found out the hard way that freelancing wasn’t easy and that maybe he kinda underestimated the power of a pa scouting all those gigs for him. not very yippee at all. but not to threat! nude model!gojo has connections of his own — friends who owe him favours, models who looked up to him, fans who revered him! luckily, the first person nude model!gojo could think to turn to was his trusty best friend who also happened to be an excellent networker.

“you want me to find you a nude gig, right?”

your face glowers blue from the light of your laptop. your eyes peer over the top to watch at nude model!gojo who appeared to have no concern for a couch that wasn’t his own.

“yes. nothing catwalky or social media-y. that shit actually acquires work.” nude model!gojo groans.

“i hear it…” you continue tapping at your laptop but after a few minutes youre shaking your head.

“no luck?” nude model!gojo mumbles.

“there’s barely anything paid for this typa stuff. at this point you’re better off creating the content yourself to build a portfolio.” with a shrug you close your laptop screen.

sitting up, nude model!gojo suddenly has an enthusiastic spirit. something in you tells you that’s a bad reaction.

“then why don’t we make a portfolio now?!”

you sigh, because you somehow knew he’d suggest something along those lines, but anything to help a creative in need you guess.

backdrop out, lamp lights on and nude model!gojos walking around butt naked in your living room turned-studio.

“gojo, you can’t be bricked up for this typa shit.” you half sigh as you try and avert your eyes. now that you think about it, this was your first time seeing nude model!gojo in this light and youd be lying if you said you weren’t impressed.

with a huff, nude model!gojo sits down on the chair propped up between the lamplights and backdrop, manspreading as if he was fully clothed.

“hows that my fault?”

he grumbles but theres a glint in his blue pupils once he sees your wandering eyes that always seem to watch back at his curved cock. with a sly smile, nude model!gojo holds his member at the base and languidly strokes a hand up it as he watches your wanton reaction.

“well?!” he teases at you to gauge your attention. when your eyes meet his, he knows you’re both on the same page. “its not gonna go down on its own now, is it?”

nude model!gojo moans with his head backwards at the feeling of your mouth indulging around his cock. the soft wetness of your tongue and hollowed cheeks are so addictingly sweet that he cant help but buck upwards into you.

“oh…my love, you’re just perfect.”

nude model!gojo is even more enamoured once he realises that you dont even let your gag reflexes stop you from spatting up onto his cock, your saliva bubbly white and phlegmish as you the continue to fist the rest of his length.

“dont need no gig…” he moans as he ends up fucking your face. “you’re enough” is what he ends up garbling before he’s spilling down the length of your throat.

hes so pleased. so so pleased at your performance. nude model!gojo almost jokes that you should probably start a channel with him — give the audience something they dont even know they want yet.

“let’s focus on getting your portfolio done first.” you croak, as you wipe your lips with your palms but when you look up at nude model!gojo from your position on the floor, shivers run down your back.

“problem hasn’t been solved yet though.” nude model!gojo says as he sweetly taps his once again semi hard cock against the dip of your lips.

[saiidahyunie]

red or black

kim dahyun x f!reader

synopsis: two colors, two instances, two sides.

warnings: smut ; thigh riding ; strap-on usage ; degrading ; some praise ; reader giving/receiving ; dahyun giving/receiving ; switch dynamic? ; some sub/dom discovery? ; mean dahyun ; sahyo pairing ; small datzu crumbs ; not proofread (latter half of this was written on my phone :P)

a/n: finally on spring break! more dahyun content from me as always :)

in vegas, they say the house always wins.

when it comes to rolling on the roulette wheel, there are only two outcomes: red or black. a winner and loser. you either win it all or walk away empty-handed. 

red and black however, can be applied to many things; in the context of opposites, a battle between two clashing egos, two different colors, contrasting ideals or philosophies. or better yet, 

a safe word or preference that’s used in the relationship between you and dahyun. 

it first started out to be more of an experiment of sorts. limit testing the possible theory of how one would handle the other. an interchangeable dynamic, the good ol’ switcheroo. dahyun was the one who was forward with the idea, you being hesitant because at the time you didn’t figure out what things you liked/not liked in the bed, turn ons/offs, or anything that wasn’t limited to a degree for that matter. 

“so? what do we think?!” dahyun asks you one night out of the blue, laying on your thigh while sitting on the couch. 

“what do i think?” you say, “i’m not sure, dubu. i don’t know how i feel about the whole…well…you know.” 

“but it’ll be interesting!” she beams, sitting upright on her knees and eyeing you like a little kid waiting for their toy. “besides, sana has been telling me to check out some of the different categories that she’s been experimenting with jihyo and momo.” 

“well dahyun,” you reply back at her enthusiasm for curiosity. “it’s still all new to me…” voice trailing off as you try to scan around the living room, not willing to meet dahyun’s eager eyes. “i would consider it but i’m just worried about how it’ll affect our relationship going forward.” 

dahyun presses a comforting kiss to your cheek, embracing you with her infectious bubbliness that even makes the other girls fall a little bit more in love with her when it comes to hanging out in a group setting. this side of her was more reserved for you, exclusively. 

“trust me,” she starts. “the sex that we’ve been having is good, amazing, just—you can probably describe it more better than i can.” you can’t help but laugh at the countless nights and endless times you found yourself sunk to your knees, kissing every single parts that you know all too well at this point, worshiping the wonderful body created on dahyun to your liking. 

“this won’t be any different, just a new approach to having fun!” 

“you and i have two very different definitions of having fun.” 

a brief pause hangs your tongue, pressed against the inside of your cheek while you’re staring at the simple (but deadly) smile dahyun offers. considering, and you might still ponder this at different times but until then, you say, 

“alright. i’m in.” 

dahyun lunges forward for a hug, nose nestled in the underside of your neck where your jaw meets and lips tickling the area below it, humming gleefully. 

“thank you, y/n. really.” she replies, giving you a quick peck before she swipes her laptop off of the coffee table, clicking on the keyboard and tapping to an open tab for you to see what she was talking about. “now i just want you to skim through this website for me, and answer this. what color would you like to be?” 

—

(so that’s how it begins, to some sort of extent. for anyone that’s curious enough to even bother ask about a backstory, here it is: 

the connection with dahyun really just came out of nowhere. you stumble into a new class that was heavily focused on group work. typically, momo was the first person that you would try to spot out to save yourself from the trouble of hitting the usual checklist of icebreakers that make you on the inside cringe from embarrassment. 

luckily, the social butterfly that minatozaki sana was, swooped you in before the professor could even say a word to you. 

she brings you to this small huddle of about 4-5 people, the list as follows: park jihyo (her girlfriend), miyeon (the day one bestie and also her other ‘girlfriend’), myoui mina (the rich, cool girl that appears used to being approached by all the top modeling agencies given with her appearance).

and lastly, dahyun. who was more of a wildcard in the grand scheme of things (or so you thought.) 

brief introductions are shared; getting to know the basics of favorite song, food place, boba order, and a superficial hint of what they like in a girl is all being bounced around while you catch yourself stealing glances between you and dahyun all throughout the class activity. small talk was the first wall, but once that was over, everything that followed seemed to come along as a breeze.

you’d have to give credit to sana though, playing the role of matchmaker to speed up the process. 

eventually, from moving through the ranks of acquaintances to friendship to calls and texts sent back and forth between each other. waiting after class and getting a quick bite at the nearest cafe cart brewed towards “something more.” few dates follow more frequently, and you have the courage to pop the golden question to dahyun one friday night before heading out to the club (we already know what the answer is so why bother telling it?) 

a month passes, then a few months after. which brings us up to now. that’s it, nothing more.) 

—

the first instance that comes is red. 

dahyun was finishing up her studies while living on campus in one of the nearby dorms. you lived in one of the nearby apartments that was only a few minute drive and around the corner, so distance wasn’t really a big problem for either of you. 

it’s nearing the end of the semester, and people are cramming everything into their books and laptops in the last corner of the academic year. cafe’s are being filled up, counselors are giving last bits of advice to students who need it, and dahyun has no issues with her classes whatsoever. 

speaking of issues, there was one slight problem: you were kinda banned from seeing your girlfriend. 

while jotting down notes on the desk, dahyun looks at her phone that had a few notifications from you that were images of smol cats doing random activities. the last message you sent was about what to eat for a study break. dahyun gave you a few options that were around campus and there was a nearby food spot close to her dorm, anything to get closer to her even if you were put on unnecessary suspension. 

she gets startled when there’s a sudden sound coming from outside of her fire escape on the second floor, opening the curtains to see a black silhouette squatting down to match the level of the window. the eerie presence puzzling her for just a moment before she sees a light shine on a face.  

you. 

without a moment’s hesitation, dahyun opens the window for you while the hood is unsheathed from your head. there's a shuffle around the small space in the middle lane with both ends occupied by two beds, but dahyun closes the window, raising the lamp upward facing the ceiling before returning her gaze to you. 

her eyes see you sitting on the edge of her bed, legs crossed over and both hands in the pocket of your hoodie. the thicker clothing on top of the hoodie was a leather aviator jacket that made it look like you were right straight out of that one top gun movie, but you lean back slightly, never changing your upright position. 

“sorry to scare you like that, hope you were on your study break.” you say with a low tone tilting your head towards her, patting down the open space next to you on her bed. 

“are you crazy?” dahyun asks you, ignoring the sudden heat flushing through her cheeks as she makes her way towards you, patting down her thigh to ease her bit of nervousness. “you know you’re not supposed to be here, even when yunjin said—” 

“she says that, but doesn’t mean it.” you reply, taking off your aviator jacket while dahyun sits next to you, putting a leg over and letting her arms fall on your shoulders. “besides, her and i just had a small…disagreement.” 

dahyun arches a brow while you’re flashing a gooey smile, smirking after when you’re tapping her knee cap over your leg. “uh huh.” she says, remembering the little bust up with your team captain yunjin at lacrosse practice at the beginning of the week. since she was dahyun’s roommate, it was more of a lenient punishment because of the overcompetitiveness almost affecting the team. so, you weren’t allowed to see dahyun until the whole ordeal blew over, knowing that you wouldn’t listen—here you were in her room. 

“well, i guess you can stay for a bit.” dahyun says, “i still have to review before yunjin—”

“she’s not coming back.” 

“what? why?!” 

“yunjin’s hanging out with kazuha and chaewon. my best guess is that they’re just talking about some lacrosse team stuff, nothing too serious.” 

you lean your head on dahyun’s shoulder, fingers tracing along the perfect skin on her thigh, just stopping right before her ass. giving a quick look with the eyes, you smack your lips, “don’t tell me you’ve been studying here all day, have you?” 

“well– i– i mean…” 

sighing out confirming the suspicion, you lift dahyun’s leg, shifting it over yours, and she’s straddling your lap—her arms never moving on your shoulders once she’s all settled in. “since you’ve been hitting the books while i’ve been napping, why don’t you tell me what you’ve been going over so far?” hand moving along the underside of her thigh, you take the hint that she’s not wearing any underwear beneath her shorts. “sleeping for a bit would be a perfect solution for you over that reading that you’re always doing.” 

“you don’t want to hear what i’ve read.” 

“just like, one thing. for me dubu?” you ask, hand on her hip, lightly moving dangerously close to the growing wet spot between her legs. 

dahyun knows that she’s being worked over with the amount of short, hitched breaths being let out in frequent succession. “i was just reading about– fuck, how w-we as humans are more prone t-to be more impatient in psycholog- baby that’s–” 

“hmm,” you hum with your moving hands on her hips, looking up at your flustered girlfriend riding you, dahyun trying to neglect the friction and growing heat very poorly. “patience huh. maybe you could teach me a thing or two about that more, right?” 

all you hear is a small whine being sounded while you’re smiling, dahyun’s face looking a little more out of it with her slacked jaw, eyes half-lidded and nearly closing. “think you can teach me some patience baby?” hands continuing to move at a consistent pace, dahyun’s clit rubbing against the fabric and your leg making her twitch slightly, the sensation now rising up throughout her body as time passes. 

“y-yes, but–” her words are jumbled up agaisnt her teeth. “i wanted to see you…” 

“i did miss you too, honey, and i'm right here, don't worry.”  your voice is a bit deeper now, continuing to roll dahyun’s hips on your leg while she clutches the hood of your jacket more tightly. “maybe you can shower me with a few compliments, to get your mind off of studying for a bit.” you whisper in her ear as you carry on moving her hips back and forth. 

dahyun’s moans coming out of her leaves you in pure adoration, sputtering different aspects of you that you’ve heard before, not while she’s rocking on your leg to the point where the sentences are sounding more run-on than usual. the small mumbles of god- please- more- yes- followed by more yeses. you can feel the wetness seeping past dahyun’s shorts and onto your sweatpants. 

“my baby’s working so hard in school, she deserves to have a nice break, hmm? all of the other girls wishing they were in my place with you riding my leg like this?” you say into her chest, leaving feathery kisses to the upper profile below her clavicle. 

“y/n– you’re– shit, so fucking– god– the way you speak to me like t-that,” she tries to say to you, head dipping down near your collarbone, speaking nonsense. “i love- everything about y-you baby. the way your hands– fucking fuck me up so good–” 

“there we go pretty.” you say, nicking her chin up so that you can meet her eyes, adjusting your leg slightly by lifting it higher to make it look like she’s sliding down. her pants are making you lackluster, dark, the struggling breath riling you up as well the more she’s trying to stay upright on your leg. 

“i can feel you close for me dubu, you wanna cum just like this? grinding on my thigh until you fucking get off?” you’re gripping the back of her neck with your left hand while the right one rolls her hips more into you. 

“s-so fucking close, god. y/n, baby—” 

“shhh,” you comfort her, “you’re gonna look so good cumming for me baby. let it go, i’ll take care of you. i always do.” 

dahyun lets out a whimper of appreciation when you’ve given the go-ahead, the grip on her ass becoming more tight as the slick coming out of her leaves your leg completely soaked. she has her arms around your neck now, closely, allowing your free reign to leave nibbles across the unmarked canvas of her throat while she’s moaning in your ear, causing you to grunt from the infectious lust growing between you two. 

“cum for me baby. i need to hear it, need to feel it.” you growl, bruising her skin. 

she hears your voice down her ear, and it’s all too much. your large hands clutching to her waist. dahyun lets you have your way with her body, riding out the chain reaction of whines and moans and all sounds of the pleasure that consumes her, the sensation of her cumming to the point where she’s reduced to whimpering into your hoodie. 

you steady the pace soon after, short exchanges of breaths are now filling the room as dahyun slowly grinds her sopped, worked core, still wanting more, but that’s for later. 

“stress relieved?” you ask, smiling against her warm face. you can feel her breath tickle your neck as she lets her hands roam across the plane of your back. sometimes you’re still in disbelief that this woman you love has a near perfect waist the way your hands just link around it so easily. 

“i-i should go back to studying,’ dahyun answers. “but i do feel better y/n, thank you. ” 

“i have a new idea.” 

dahyun is then flipped over the bed, shorts now discarded exposing her swollen pussy lips to you, taking off your hoodie that shows a sports bra that made your breasts appear even larger—and dahyun can’t help herself to stating, biting her lip at the potential site for more marks to be made. 

“we should study each other’s bodies again, deal?!” 

you wonder if you can hear dahyun swallow the moment you dive down for her again. 

—

the second instance, black, comes a bit later and completely out of nowhere.

you’re not even prepared for what was about to occur.

to bring it up to speed: you’re shit-faced drunk. mumbling and humming noises that sound like a boxer in a comatose state. the pattern on the floor looks familiar—giving an indication that you were at your apartment (or at least on the way back).

dahyun was hobbling your wasted ass back into your apartment, hands and legs clearly uncoordinated, stumbling and propping up on anything that was in close proximity around the place with her carrying you back into your room, carelessly tossing you on the bed while she slammed the door harshly behind her.

you may or may not have had some -too many- shots in your system, the count already lost a while back—the more apparent elephant in the room is brought back to you when dahyun clutches your shoulders, eyes filled with rage, sitting you straight on the edge of the bed.

“what in the fuck were you thinking!?” she asks you, clutching the delts of your body with an iron grip, your neck keeling your head over causing dahyun to rake your hair in pulling back up, her hand now clutching the collar of your shirt that reeked of the booze you mindlessly spilled on you while drinking. “you’ve gotta be out of your mind for kissing my ex in front of me earlier.”

“who? oh! you mean tzuyu?!” you say, speech slurred, giggling at the sentence passing through your lips. “shit, i musta forgot, silly me—”

dahyun’s hand is quick around your neck, stopping your act and letting the proper thought of rationalization combating the effects of alcohol in your brain for a slight second, airflow halted with a harsh choke, tongue reeling back into your throat the more her fingers gripped around it.

“my fucking ex.” dahyun seethes out, grabbing your cheeks and leaning in closer against your cheek. “you crossed the line with that one.” she pushes you away, slipping off her jacket that revealed a black compression shirt underneath, the hints of muscles here and there from her arms to her shoulders.

she paces around in front of you, strategizing what to do with you while you sit there with hands fiddling with the end of the comforter below you. your heart is racing from the impending rage that was unraveling, wondering what dahyun will do next. the way she’s not even making eye contact from your lowered position makes you look up like a pleading child asking their parents for something.

keeping yourself together like this was near impossible, not when dahyun looked so good with this kind of attitude, something that momo and the others have said they were afraid of, but not you.

“where is it?”

“what!?”

“don’t make me repeat myself.” dahyun says sternly, pulling on the peak of your chin, “show me where she left it.”

“i don’t know what you’re—“

“the fucking hickey, y/n. show me where she marked you.” her tone sending a shiver down your skin while you tried to resist the urge to squirm under the touch. “you’ve already got me with your little stunt this morning, but you’re not getting away a second time.”

you and dahyun hardly fight over something in the relationship. most of your arguments are just disagreements that didn’t really spell anything too serious. this changed when dahyun turned down your imitations for sex three times because of a dumb mistake you did (not worth remembering what it was because the punishment was worse than the supposed crime).

after those failed attempts, this made you snap on the inside. satisfying the high sex drive you had was the only thing in your head, and you were gonna do whatever it takes, even if it has to make dahyun completely lose control. kissing her ex tzuyu that you saw at the party earlier was the last push that you needed, making eye contact with her in the crowd while you were smacking on the girl’s lips and letting her mark you front of dahyun.

the second reminder comes back, you edging out dahyun while she was getting ready this morning for an important meeting with one of the clubs that she was a high ranking board member in, the hushed curse of your name being moaned out while you relentlessly pounded and licked up her helpless cunt, her fingers raked around your head when you perched her on the bathroom sink. she didn’t want to give in to the pleasure, but she does, always does.

once you left her high with no release, you were sure that dahyun wouldn’t go throughout the day without having a single thought about you. in a doubled down effort, you sent her pictures of yourself in underwear at different times during her schedule to ensure that the thought would stay fresh in her mind. needless to say, it worked.

“clothes off.” dahyun says. “don’t make me repeat it a second time.”

all you did was just shake your head, dahyun lets out a ‘tsk’ slapping you in the face, forcing you to look away with one eye closed, cheek stinging from the contact of her hand.

“baby,” calling you while she soothes the light red mark on your cheek with her thumb. “show. me. the. mark.”

you comply, pulling the collar of your shirt to show a stark red hickey across your collarbone. dahyun sighs out while looking down, pressing the bridge of her nose before muttering something to herself. along the lines of what a fucking idiot you were.

dahyun’s strength surprised you at times and before you even knew it, your back was against the headboard of your bed, staring up to the ceiling while she slid off your pants. hers also came off, hand trailing up your leg to the seam of your panties, noticing a hint of wet in between the threads.

“you’re fucking wet? wanted to see me being rough with you? fucking little slut’s enjoying too much of this.”

you’re whimpering when she’s leaving more marks up your neck, holding both of your wrists. thighs rubbing together of built up sexual frustration that you were the catalyst in creating, but the thought and lust filled aura dahyun was possessing blinding you with delusion that you’d get what you want.

“dahyun…please—“

“now you’re begging?!” she scoffs out, snickering while she holding your face up again. “some audacity you have, bitch.”

you feel dahyun’s fingers hook on the elastic of your panties sliding off, then nails moving upward on your legs. in a futile attempt to wiggle out from dahyun’s touch, she stops herself, gets up from the bed and walks over to a corner in your room to grab something. she pulls out a box in her hand that makes your eyes roll at what she has.

the throbbing sensation rises between your thighs, closing your eyes again, brows knitting together from the euphoric false belief that dahyun would let you off easy.

a shift of weight in the bed presents itself when you open your eyes again after a few moments, the sight alone makes your cunt throb and your heart quicken.

she has a purple silicone strap-on. the one that you bought with your own money about two weeks ago to use on dahyun—-the first proper use of it being on you now.

dahyun shifts towards you on the bed. compression shirt now boldening with tense muscles and her underwear was off replaced with the plastic cock, unsure of what do with it, but clear of who to use it on, straddling your waist again before scorching up to your chest, the tip lightly poking your chin.

“spit.”

ever the good listener, you spit on the plastic tip, dahyun lightly stroking it lightly to get the saliva around the shaft more.

“suck.”

the commands are coming simple and easy, the only thing you’re able to do is just follow and submit, opening your mouth to let the purple tip in, lightly bobbing just past the tip while dahyun supported the back of your head with her hand, pushing you to go a bit deeper each time.

“so pretty with a cock in your mouth, even better when my slut is taking mine.” she laughs out, pulling away to slap her cock on your wet, pouty lips. you’re looking at her with pleading eyes, stroking your cheek again, dahyun drinking in the sight of you being like this for her.

she slaps it on your mouth a couple more times before moving off, leaving you harsh kisses from your lips down to your neck, to the chest, down to the waist, and—

“please, just fuck me. let me have— i just want you.”

dahyun seems to understand what your desires are, pulling you from the hips so that you’re laying on the bed now. parting your legs wider to put herself in the middle, teasing your folds with her cock slightly slapping it before slipping inside just past the head—the sound that leaves your lips is so low, breaking.

you’re clutching onto her wrists as she’s bruising your skin at the hips with her nails. the tightness too hard to bear when dahyun sinks deeper, flushing the whole plastic toy inside you.

“o-oh my fucking god.”

she pulls out and snaps her hips back in, leaving you no time adjust. a few locks of her hair falls over her forehead as she gets picks up her pace, the tempo gradually increasing until she couldn’t contain herself, going all the way—full send.

“w-wait babes, sta—nngh! fuck—it hurts…”

the slick sound of your fucked pussy on top of the symphonic tones of your breaths and moans combined fill up the room, fulfilling the fantasy that you’ve dreamed of doing to dahyun, almost.

“i don’t care if you’re in pain, not when i see a slut get frisky with my fucking ex.” she’s having fun with this also, taking out the frustrations and anger that you created throughout the day earlier.

dahyun puts in two deep strokes into your cunt, causing you to arch your back from the pleasure, before pulling out and flipping you over, raising your hips to match hers before inserting inside again.

the pace of thrusts pick up again, dahyun’s hips now meshing with your ass perfectly. holding at the right angle to as she continues to pound and pound and pound and pound—

“does it hurt, baby? the way my cock is taking your slutty pussy like you deserve it hm? wanting me to fuck you like this for so long?!”

from you, barely, “god, yes.”

she then pushes you deep into the comforter, mercilessly thirsting to no end at the new angle to take you deep. the throaty moans and fucked out sounds getting to the best of you, clamping down her strap more and more as dahyun runs a hand through her hair—you imagine her doing it the same way that’s just insanely hot from the simple action.

“i wanna hear you say it bitch. who am i to you?” she’s growling over the nape of your neck and into your ear, never letting up her speed.

you’re half-sobbing-half-growling into the sheets, gripping onto the pillows for dear life, brain too far gone to answer right away.

“ah—mmph y-yours, fuck i’m all for you.”

reveling in the vibration of skin to skin contact, the both of you are nearing exhaustion. the way that your hips are shaking beneath dahyun as she pounds all of the noises she likes out of your pretty little mouth.

“fuck-you’re so perfect like this. i can see you getting close—“

you’re yelling into the soft cushion of the pilllow, dahyun not amused at the act of playing it safe. she pulls you by the hair, lifting you upright with her, the strap becoming more and more difficult to move as you’re clenching hard around it.

“don’t shy away from me, slut.”

you liked the idea of being dominated, and that was the apparentness being brought clearly in this moment. dahyun had times where she got protective/possessive with certain things, but this was a brand new avenue that you probably prefer than previous occasions. to be fucked through with no remorse as she shoves your head back into the sheets, leaning over when you’re at the highest point of the night.

“da-fuck, please harder- fucking, ‘m gonna—cum—shit. baby god—don’t sto—“

“cum all over this cock baby. i’ll take care of you. i always do.”

the sentence alone was a silver-lining, and a daunting parallel.

“dahy—ah!” you cried out as dahyun fucked you through your (deserved?) orgasm. pleading and babbling and begging while you feel your body shut down, half drunk after being used.

dahyun slows her pace, hips bucking with every lethargic stroke, sliding the silicone cock out of your fucked cunt while she leaves light kisses down your back. she massages your red-marked ass while you just hum in satisfaction against the mattress.

you roll over on your back, the soft sounds and breaths matched with the simple movement of the lungs. in, out. in, and out. dahyun tosses off the wet slick strap, tending to your care with kisses and glances of love now shown—the possessive aura washed away completely.

just before your vision fades to black, she helps you lift your shirt up slightly, kissing down your body to the sensitive area between your legs. but before she does that, she goes back to your face one last time, planting a kiss to your cheek before whispering,

“my messy girl, let me clean you up.”

summarizing, we’ll leave it off with this: caught with a red flag at the party, blacked and fucked out by the end of it.

[sitp-recs]

Hello good morning afternoons or evenings, I hope you are having a wonderful day! I'm looking for fic Drarry where they both become a safe place for each other or have a strange connection with each other because only they can understand each other.

Hello anon! Oh I love this concept so much, I’m all for comfort fics like that. Here are some stories that came to mind:

A Little Death Never Hurt Anyone by @tackytigerfic (E, 4k)

Harry's getting good at slipping through the Veil. He's determined to win the war, even if means he has to raise the dead to do it. Draco just wants a stiff drink and a good night's sleep.

Thermodynamic Equilibrium by @dorthyanndrarry (T, 5k)

Harry's far too hot. Draco's always cold. And somehow against all odds, together they create a perfect equilibrium.

A Pain of Our Choosing by @lqtraintracks (E, 6k)

It’s 8th year and everyone’s still a bit messed up. Harry and Draco fall into being messed up together.

Glowing by @cavendishbutterfly (T, 10k)

Harry's lived alone and vampiric in his cottage for ages, until a long-lived Draco Malfoy suddenly shows up to answer an advertisement Harry had practically forgotten he'd put in the Prophet. Cue soft blood drinking, quiet nights of reading and crocheting, and Harry thinking that maybe--just maybe--he might not be so alone anymore.

Tidings of Comfort by @blamebrampton (G, 10k)

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life. Luckily for Draco Malfoy, London has places where the tired can rest and recover.

Nice Things by aideomai (M, 22k)

The first thing that happened was Theodore Nott came back from France.

The Last of What the World Left You by @xanthippe74 (T, 25k)

If the wizarding world won’t give Draco a second chance, he has a plan to survive: live in his Animagus form, a carrion crow, in the Forbidden Forest. Not only does Harry Potter come along and ruin it, he’s radiating a strange aura of power. With nowhere to go and a Life-Debt to his mother that Potter insists on repaying, Draco puts himself into the hands of the reclusive Boy Who Lived. Will the bleak corner of Yorkshire where Potter makes his home be another dead end or an unexpected refuge?

Strange Bedfellows by orphan_account, ravenclawsquill (E, 30k)

When Harry encounters a frail and fidgety Draco Malfoy at the Ministry, he just knows something is wrong and he’s determined to get to the bottom of it.

Holly and Hawthorn, Thistle and Thyme by bryoneybrynn (T, 31k)

After the war, Harry can’t shake the feeling that something is very wrong with him and he has a terrible feeling he knows what that “something” might be. He has a terrible feeling Malfoy might know, too.

Open For Repairs by @drarrytrash (M, 35k)

After the war, Draco works at a tv repair shop and Harry breaks things.

Like Lightning at Your Fingertips by potterwatch (T, 43k)

The problem with living with another insomniac is, eventually, they find out you’re one, too. When Harry and Draco return for their eighth year, they think they’ll see very little of each other. Then McGonagall assigns them to room together. And the castle starts breaking. And there’s that thing with Potter’s magic.

A Room Up There (And You In It) by @the-starryknight (T, 59k)

When Preservationist Draco Malfoy was assigned to work on Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, he was excited to delve into the gorgeous Black family antiques. His excitement quickly ended when something in the House decided it did not like his presence one bit. Featuring a grumpy antiques lover who most certainly did not sign up for this, encounters with a vengeful apparition, and a healthy application of Christmas spirit.

Running on Air by eleventy7 (T, 75k)

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by nerakrose, dustmouth (T, 96k)

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

Way Down We Go by @xiaq (T, 109k)

In which Harry and Draco both run away from their pasts and conveniently choose to hide in the same tiny American town. It's super.

A Sword Laid Aside by @korlaena (E, 128k)

When Draco’s cover is blown during a deep undercover operation and the Ministry is compromised, Ron takes Draco to the only safe place he can think of—Potter. Hiding out with a taciturn Harry Potter, who has been missing from the Wizarding World for almost two decades after a shocking fall from grace, is nothing like Draco thought it would be.

In The Dark by @bixgirl1 (E, WIP)

In the aftermath of an apocalypse, Harry receives an order to find and bring Draco Malfoy nearly a thousand miles, to the tenuous safety of Hogwarts. But more than distance separates them from their goal. The world has fallen, and death is hungry.

[zeldasnotes]

SYNASTRY ASPECTS THAT CREATE A BOND FOR LIFE

Destinn(6583) conjunct Moon

This one is hard to break off because you can feel from the start that you were meant to meet. You understand eachother in the deepest way. You feel like you absolutely need to be with eachother. This aspect is common between people who have a child together, especially when its the guys Destinn conjunct the womans Moon. Its a common aspect between couples where the woman gets pregnant the first time they sleep together. This aspect makes it feel like you are meant to start a family together. You feel so comfortable around the other. You make eachother feel like a warm cozy blanket on a cold winter night.

Valentine(447) conjunct Sun

The Valentine person feels like the Sun person is the love of their life. You both feel a need to help and sacrifice for eachother but especially the Valentine person. This is also a love at first sight placement. This aspect shows pure undying love and loyalty. The Valentine person looks at the Sun person with hearteyes.

Moon in the 8th house

This one can turn out very badly and can be seen in the synastry charts of enemies. But when its good its REALLY good. You will never get rid of eachother. The other will turn up in your life out of nowhere just like with Moon conjunct Pluto. In my experience the Moon person is the one most obsessed since its their feelings being affected here, but it depends on your natal charts. People who have natal planets in the 8th house handle this aspect better. The Moon person feels so strongly for the house person that it cant be explained.

Moon in the 1st house

This is my favorite synastry aspect its such a beautiful aspect. The house person feels so safe around the Moon person. You understand eachother but not in the probing investigative way like with the 8th house. This is pure acceptance of the other. You know eachothers sensitive spots and what topics to avoid. There is no get to know eachother phase you instantly know eachother from the first meeting. You are very protective over eachother. The Moon person views the house person as family even if not related.

Moon conjunct Pluto

Pluto sees the Moon persons sensitivities and wants to protect Moon. Moon feels safe in the arms of Pluto. This aspect is super intense and creates a psychic connection for the rest of your lives. You can feel what goes on in the others life. Ive noticed that this aspect can also make you feel when you are going to bump into eachother. You will both think about the other out of nowhere when you havent even seen eachother in 10 years and the next day you accidentally bump in to eachother at a store or some random place. This is the placement where you call eachother after you killed someone because you need help with hiding the body.

Vertex conjunct Venus

You see eachother and you instantly know its something special with the other. They look so beautiful and glamorous but its something more than that. You feel a sense of true love for eachother. You want to marry them NOW. I noticed that couples with this aspect usually match in some way physically, like they belong together. Like they were born to be beside eachother.

© 2022 Zeldas Notes All Rights Reserved

[mynameiswhateveryoudecide11]

Hello everyone,

long time anonymous Kaylor here (lurker is the word probably), and long post incoming 💚

I’ve just recently started using this space more openly and sharing opinions, which I’ve honestly always been quite scared to do for various reasons, so I just wanted to share a bit of how I became a part of this little piece of heaven here on Kaylor tumblr and how important this community has been to me 🌈

When I first found out about Kaylor, it was years ago through a mutual connection on instagram. At the time, I too was going through a phase of slowly understanding myself and my queerness, which I’d obviously suppressed for so long (it took me just as many years, if not more, to actually accept it after realising it had always been there). So when I found this rabbit hole (or should i say these rabbit holes, as it all started with TTB, kaylor evidence, the masterposts, and all of the newer tumblr pages that have kept the memories from the archives alive all these years) - I finally realised what had always been quite confusing before: why did I always relate to Taylor’s music so deeply ? why did I feel like I could actually feel was she was feeling, even though I’d definitely never felt so strongly about any man in my life, while she was allegedly the straightest human on the planet ? Well that’s because she wasn’t. She was, although on a much bigger and more complicated and public scale, one of us 🎉🌈 As someone who struggled for years to accept my non-straightness, finding out that the biggest artist on Earth, whose music I’d loved for so long, was a tiny bit similar to me and my experience, made me feel a warmth and a tenderness and a happiness so strong that my heart could have exploded for it. I genuinely cried myself to sleep every night for 2 / 3 weeks after finding out. A happy, sad, angry kind of cry - happy to be in on the most beautiful secret of our generation, sad for all the freedom and the life that T & K have had to miss out on, and angry, SO fucking angry that some small-minded, arrogant idiots felt entitled enough to do this to them, to her. To take a life that wasn’t theirs, and make it what they wanted it to be, and take what they wanted from it. Fuck you. Fuck all of you who did this. “So unfair” I mumbled while trying to sleep. “So beautiful” I couldn’t breathe.

Fast-forward to today, I’ve spent an unreasonable and unhealthy amount of time lurking on every corner of the tumblrverse as well as analysing songs (my fave past time) and converting all my besties to Kaylorism (they are now so invested it’s ruining our lives 😂💖).

I’ve been trying to learn as much as possible and I’m so thankful to all the fabulous blogs on here:

@spade-riddles

@chosetherose

@9w1ft

@asteracaea

@rainbowdaisy13

@daisyswift3

@kwyw

@iwanthermidnightz

@tales-of-kaylor

@bettyshoweduptotheparty

and I’m sure there’s so many more I’m forgetting please drop your @ if you’d like !!

All this to say, I’ve spent years anonymously supporting and reading theories and enjoying the amazing safe space you have created for our community - you all have changed my life and I’m sure you’ve changed T’s life too, so I just wanted to share my little bit of personal Kaylor lore because it still makes me so happy and emotional to think about all the difficult times we’ve all been through and knowing that now the future’s bright, dazzling 💖🌈

Sending love out to you all, thanks for everything. Onwards and upwards from here xx

[sourbinnie]

☆ trying ☆

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> heavy angst ; no happy ending ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> maknae line!skz + sibling!reader (gender neutral) ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> your brother failed you and now it was too late to redeem it. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> swearing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!

hyung line

-> the scenario

remembering was hard to you, thinking about the old days just didn’t seem right. it was a different life, a different air and a different kind of worry you had. you enjoyed your brother’s company a lot when you were younger, he was your best friend even if he was older than you. you had a strong bond (or that’s what you thought), a connection that you didn’t find anywhere else and when he hugged you, you felt protected like nothing could hurt you.

growing up always leads to people changing through time. so when you started to drift away from him, you knew things weren’t going to go exactly how you wanted them to be. you really did try to keep the relationship you formed with him going but it was no use when it was all one sided. that still didn’t stop you from trying even if you would leave empty handed, you just wanted to tell him how much he meant to you and you wanted to keep on supporting him. it was safe to say that only brought out fights since he didn’t want you there in the first place and when you’re in your teenage years, you really don’t know how to solve things without fighting.

when he started being a trainee, it was worse. you could handle him not wanting you there and making a fuss about it, you couldn’t handle the silence though. you couldn’t handle the cold shoulder every time he saw you or the way he couldn’t even look at you. even worse was the fact that you barely saw him because of how much time he spent at the jyp building training and when he debuted, he never told you. he told the rest of your family of course but you had to find out through your mom. no message popped up on your phone, no phone call, nothing, it was radio silence and you were done.

it was easy to say that if he wasn’t gonna put in his part as your brother, then you were not gonna be his little brother/sister anymore. it was too late to fix anything, especially the mess he created in the first place. it was unfair and you didn’t feel like putting up a fight anymore.

jisung ✉

he still fondly remembers when he chased you around, when he read to you and when you took his toys away. now as an adult stepping into his old house, he felt like home wasn't where he belonged anymore just because he lost the connection he used to have with you. he loved his older brother to death and he still had contact with him yet he knew it would never be the same for the two of you.

even if he tried to redeem it now (which he wanted to of course), he felt lost in even knowing how to take the approach. how do you talk to someone who you haven't spoken to since you were teenagers? the last time he remembers having a proper conversation with you was so long ago and yet the memory still lives in his mind because that's where it all went down.

"(y/n) hey..." he said and that's all he could come up with when he saw you in the living room. his suitcase next to him at the entrance door as you looked at him up and down. it wasn't a judging stare, more like an "i don't care about you" look and if those eyes didn't hurt then he knew your words would.

"oh hi, i'll be leaving soon so don't mind me." you said and he did notice you were all dressed up to go out. he sighed since the least thing that he wanted right now was for you to leave but at the same time if you stayed it wouldn't be easy to talk. he missed the comfort atmosphere you two had and the way you would listen to each other.

"can we talk? when you get back of course." he asked and clarified which made you look at him confused. there was nothing to talk about from your part, you were done with seeing him and you were gonna try to avoid him for as long as he stayed.

"i don't think that would be good." you said as you got up to head out the door but jisung was right there and you couldn't pass. his big eyes looking at you, pleading you to just have one conversation with him but you weren't gonna give in at all. "please jisung, i am handling enough with just seeing you right now."

"why are you like this? i really wanna fix it and you're not helping. i wanna be your brother again, i'm done acting like we're strangers." he exclaimed frustrated and that only made you boil with anger because he clearly was only thinking about himself and how much he was the one trying but when you were the one trying to keep it alive, he ignored you.

"fuck off really. you were the one who started acting like we were nothing and now you want to be back in my life? i am good, thank you." you said, giving him a sarcastic smile as you moved him out of the way and went out. he could only stare at you as you walked away, it felt like you were walking away from his life forever and that only left the worst feeling on his chest.

felix ✉

he really did feel like he fucked everything up. he had the best relationship with his sisters, why didn't he have it with you? you were the closest to him at one point and now you were basically like a ghost in his life. he didn't call you, didn't text you, didn't see you and didn't even hear from you. his whole family knew about the situation you two were going through yet none of them made a move to help because they knew how stubborn you two were.

"why are you here?" you asked as you stepped out of work. his stubborn nature was still there but he wanted to put in the effort, he wanted to solve the tension and recover his sibling. that's all he needed in his life right now to be happy since everything was going so well but he couldn't feel like everything was good if he didn't have you.

"i thought i could come pick you up. i should've told you i'm back in australia for a couple of days but-" he tried to explain but you cut him off before he could finish.

"you forgot just like you forgot about me this entire time, yeah." you said and that made him almost run out of air because it took everything from him. he started to understand that you were not the stubborn one, that you were hurt by his actions and you wanted to stay away from him because of it. who was he to blame you? he left you in the dark and now he was facing the consequences.

"(y/n) i'm sorry. it's too late to apologize i know but i really wanna make things right now and i missed you like crazy. i'm now realizing that what i did was very wrong of me and i would take it back if i could." he said in between mumbles and it did make you feel like he was being honest. but like he said, it was really too late for apologies and for being sorry when you moved on. 

"you're now realizing? after so many years? i waited for you to call that day and you never did." you said with tears in your eyes that were spilling like waterfalls. he couldn't stand seeing you cry and he couldn't place when exactly you were expecting him to call which only made him feel like a worse brother. "i hope you'll be happy but it's not gonna be with me in your life."

he let you walk away because what else was he supposed to do? then he remembered what you were talking about. the day he debuted, he called his mom, his dad, his sisters and he didn't call you. he didn't feel pathetic for crying in a parking lot, he just felt broken.

seungmin ✉

he did try to see you, that's what he was thinking about right now. he told his parents and older sister to tell you to come to one of his concerts, he really wanted you there because it had been so long that he felt like this would be a good chance to reconnect. needless to say he didn't see you backstage when his parents came in with his sister but there was no presence of you up close.

at first he thought maybe you were just arriving late or something happened. but when he asked, he got the dreaded response from his sister that you had said no and decided to stay home. it hurt knowing that you weren't gonna be there when he needed your presence out there and you could say that made him a little mad. maybe he was being irrational but it felt like you were pushing him away when all he wanted was to fix things.

"(y/n) why aren't you here?" he asked over the phone when he was in his dressing room with little to no time left for him to be on stage. he should be rehearsing, resting his vocals but he was instead calling you because he needed an answer.

"why should i be? i'm not your sibling anymore." you said as if it was the most obvious thing on the planet and it only made him confused. okay yeah you had a period of time where you did not speak to each other (or he didn't speak to you to put in better words) but he would never stop considering you his sibling.

"what the fuck are you saying? of course you are. if this is about what happened when we were younger, we need to put it behind and let it go because i can't deal with that anymore." he said and he knew he chose his words in a harsh way but he was so done at the moment. he didn't know that by saying that, he only made you want to distance yourself from him even more.

"it's so easy for you to say that when you don't know what you put me through. i cared about you so much and i looked up to you but now i'm just so done with you and i don't want to see you ever again." you said as you hung up leaving a shocked seungmin that almost dropped his phone. it made him want to cry, to protest, to throw something at the wall.

he did ruin it for good this time, he should've never called and never invited you. not because he was angry but because he just made it worse every time, he dug himself deeper into a hole because he just would never be the brother you deserved.

jeongin ✉

when you're constantly being treated like you're the youngest, you sometimes forget you're the oldest in some contexts. he definitely knew he was a role model to his younger brother and that his older brother was proud of him but all he cared about nowadays as he thought more and more about it, was your opinion about him. you didn't see him with loving eyes anymore and the more time he stayed in his old house with his family, the more he wanted to leave. not because he didn't feel at home anymore but because he just couldn't take the tension.

"(y/n) i need to talk to you." he said as he walked in your room, he didn't even bother knocking on the door. he needed to get everything off his chest before he left and regretted not doing anything about your relationship. he hadn't spoken to you in so long that he almost stumbled on his words.

"i really don't wanna talk jeongin." there was no more innie and jeo, it was just his name out of your mouth like it didn't mean a thing. you weren't even looking at him and a sense of shame built up in him because he was just so sad, so embarrassed to have been the worst brother to you.

"i know but i'm gonna go tomorrow and i feel like i need to say this before i blow up." he expressed and now you were looking at him waiting for an answer. he thought ot the words on his head just like he processed lyrics so many times on stage and let them out. "i want to say that i'm sorry about everything. i failed you as a brother and as a friend, we were so close before and now i'm wondering if we could be close again. i miss spending time with you and i'm sad that we didn't get to talk all this time that i've been here."

"we can't." you said calmly and he looked at you confused. "we can't be close again because i am better off not waiting on you. even now i almost had hope that you would try to approach me sooner but you're doing this when you're leaving."

"i didn't want to upset you or make you feel uncomfortable." he tried to reason but you just shook your head. it was so obvious to you that if you did fix things now, you would be left in the dark again when he went back to his idol life again and would forget all about you.

"well it was the worst week so far. it reminded me of when you were training and you wouldn't even talk to me." you said and he remembers that all too well, it left a print on his mind as he tried not to think about it but knew it was all he would think about. "please get out jeongin, i would rather not talk to you anymore."

and he did as you asked, he got out of your room and out of your life. he would have to live with the guilt of never being able to repair the bond that he once formed with his little sibling.

[ashraintarot]

Pick a Photo Tarot Reading - What does October hold for me?

Photo 1

The main themes that will be highlighted in October for you are passion, desire, sensuality and will-power. The first thing coming up has to do with how you view and connect to cycles in life. There are things trying to die away, to let you move past them and embrace a new, better future, but it feels like you’re grasping onto these things for dear life. This could be a romantic interest, a friend, a not so good habit, a job, anything that isn’t serving you anymore. It feels very ‘lost in the sauce’. If there’s not a toxic attachment there’s just a sense of holding onto life as it is too tightly. You’re so lost in whats going on and the emotions you’re feeling that you can’t see the way out. But it’s there. You might be often seeking answers in readings like this which I realize is ironic to tell you mid reading, but you’re meant to look within to find the answers you’re seeking. Spirit is really telling you you’re guaranteed to success eventually, but you have to trust yourself and take a damn risk! If you’re sick of where you are, make a change. I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to take a step, even if it’s a small one. For many this is a reassessing your dedication to your craft. I see you getting back to the drawing board this month, putting in the hours of practice you need to improve. It’s important to remember our taste is always better than our talent in the present moment. That’s because you’re always evolving, learning and improving, so keep that in mind when you might be hating what you’ve created. It’s just proof you’re getting better, but it doesn’t mean what you made isn’t good too! Give it love, be thankful for it for what it’s taught you. There might be some times this month you need to stick up for yourself or your fellow man. If it’s safe, be sure to stand up for what’s right. Use your voice, be a champion for those less fortunate than you are.

Photo 2

Things might feel like they aren’t working out fast enough. You’ve planted a lot of seed and intentions recently and during October you might start to feel a little impatient. This is your reminder that things are falling into place behind the scenes. Let yourself breathe and relax for now. Focus on being present and enjoying yourself this month. I feel like you might be at risk of taking on more than you can handle, so really be honest with yourself when it comes to saying yes to things you don’t have the capacity or maybe even simply don’t want to do. It’s okay to say no! You’re also being reminded that you don’t have to go through this time alone. It’s okay to ask for help, to share the load. You’re not weak for not being able to handle something, humans need community, we were made for it. In that vein, there’s an emphasis on community this month as well. Whether it’s hanging out with a group, with family, or even just one person, surround yourself with those who make you feel loved, heard and understood. I see some fun times just in the living room watching movies with a friend. Don’t lock yourself away. I think some of you are going through quite a big spiritual upgrade and it’s easy to go into that hermit mode. If you need to recharge, by all means do so, but make sure you come back up for air and connect with loved ones. Your guides are also sccrreeeaming at me to tell y’all to meditate.

Photo 3

October is all about self love and compassion for the self, especially regarding how you view yourself and the things you do/create. If you’re someone that’s always talking down to yourself as a reflex, this is for you. It’s important for you to remember that you still have so much learning and growing to do left. I get the vibe of ya’ll being worried about being “cringe” or awkward and saying the wrong thing. October is all about stepping into who you are and your power. There’s a feeling of scattered-ness and frantic energy here. It would behoove you to work on getting organized, trying out new ways to keep yourself accountable for self care routines and just routines in general that help you to feel better about yourself, physically and mentally. It feels like you’ve been trying to manifest and do spiritual work and there’s a sense of something being stuck. I really think it has to do with this self image. I really recommend taking time everyday to work with affirmations to solidify a better perspective of yourself. Play around and see what works for you, maybe writing them in a journal, or listening to a meditation on self love, maybe if you write your own you can record yourself reading them and listen first thing in the morning and last thing before bed. Put time for self love and reprogramming that image into your routine we were talking about before. You’re someone who has big dreams, some of which you haven’t even fully realized yet, but this is a reminder you’re building a solid foundation. You’re still becoming who you’re meant to be to make these dreams work out. Let yourself be a student of life. Let yourself make mistakes without beating yourself up for it.

[anyoldfandom]

I am actually. I am so emotional over the Salazar parents and I need to share this to tumblr too.

A lot of stories where the MC is adopted I feel. Either dismiss the biological parents and the impact they have on the kid's life, or makes them evil and abusive, framing the loss of the bio parents as a good thing, or at least something we shouldn't think about just look at this new family.

But Genrex doesn't do that. From the start, Rex wanted to find out more about his parents - it's one of his primary character motivations, next to helping people. He loves them, even though he doesn't know them.

And the more he finds out about them, the more he realizes they loved him. Rylander is consumed by guilt but as Rex's first connection to his pre-Event life, the first thing he does is hug him. And when he tells Rex about his parents, the two things Rex knows is that 1) they were scientists, and 2) that when he was in danger, they were desperate enough to use their secret, experimental technology to save him. Technology built from their desire to help the world, to save countless lives and end countless suffering.

And then. When he finds out that they were dead, he doesn't stop caring. It'd be so easy, too, to tie it up there - his parents were good people, he got his answer about them, the end. But they don't. He doesn't. Because the show is saying once again that they are his parents. He still calls them mom and dad, even as the show makes it clear Holiday and Six adopted Rex as their son. Even as the show even parallels Six and One with Rex and Six (and I will talk about that more later if I don't forget, trust me), to really drive home how much they're family. Rex even says he considers the two of them family, and later that he considers Noah, Claire and Annie family.

He has new family, the show tells us, but his old family still matters to him. He's upset that he never has the chance to meet his parents, that everything he hears about them, about his time with them, is secondhand knowledge. It tells us clearly that not only does Rex still love them, but that he still wants to know them. And everything we find out about them reinforces the love that they had for each other.

We see Abuela and the family in Mexico, who connect him to his birth family and tell him that he was so loved back then, and still is now. We see their office in Abysus through Rex's eyes. The picture of him and his dad on his desk. The drawing Rex drew, proudly pinned to the wall.

We see it in the familiarity of the drawing. That that robot, that build, was what Rex created when he was lost and scared and alone - that it was made to keep him safe. That it first appeared in his mind in a place he felt safe.

The show says, tenderly and softly, that the love is still there. That the fact these people died was nothing but a tragedy, that their love is a big part of what made Rex who he is today - that every molecule in his body is filled with their final gift to him. That every time he cures someone, every time he uses a build, every time he makes a machine - we see the love that they had for him.

And the way he quietly absorbs his father's face. The way he freezes and whispers "Mamá?" when he finds out Zag-Rs has their mother's voice. The fact that she even has her voice as a testament to Caesar's love, too - that it was meant to bring comfort and safety. The way Rex yells at Caesar when he finds out they have a family property, a connection to their past, the way he fights to protect it.

And, none of this takes away still from Six and Holiday being Rex's family too. None of this removes the work either set of parents did for him, the love either set has - the show says that it was unfair that the Salazar parents were lost. That Six and Holiday are not replacements, that they still love him as parents but play different roles in his life. They can not, and have no desire to, replace the Salazars. But Rex needs parents, he needs protectors, and so they will do what they can for him - at first out of necessity, to keep this kid they barely know safe, but then out of love. They aren't replacing what was lost, but are doing their best to do what Rex's bio parents would do. And they do mess up in it - they mess up in ways Rex's bio parents might not have. Six is clearly bad with showing affection, affection we saw the Salazars give Rex so easily, and Holiday is overworked and stressed constantly, sometimes breaking under the pressure and snapping at Rex and Six, things we never saw the Salazars do.

It's just. It's about how sometimes things will not be the same. They will be different. That doesn't mean the people you lost aren't still with you.

[robinette-green]

Robin's Small and Squishy DCA Fics

These fics are ones I wrote when I was feeling particularly small and squishy. The reader in these is just a little guy who gets comforted and cuddled by our lovely Sun and Moon

Bubbly:

A little waterlily mer guppy is trapped, home destroyed, and taken to a pet store to be sold. After spending some time living in a fish bowl, our little guppy is saved and moved to a tank that has been dubbed the daycare by the human tending to it. The daycare tank is set up to rehabilitate fish before they are released back into their natural habitats. There our guppy meets Sun and Moon, two fish that live full time in this tank taking care their healing guests. Sun and Moon and our guppy fall in love and then shit goes down.

Small One:

Several years ago, robots took over the world. Most of the human population was wiped out, and those left were kept as pets and playthings for their robot overlords. Escaping from the laboratory that had been experimenting on you, you run into a new captor who pays for you and decides to keep you as his own pet. Sun and Moon comfort and care for you as they try to help you feel safe and loved for the first time in years.

Catch a Falling Star:

You’re a creature from the forest. Tricked and trapped, you’ve been experimented on, beaten and put on display in a freak show at a carnival. It's been months with no chance of escape when two lost humans find you and take pity on you, wanting to help you. Having to put your trust in humans, you decide to let them break you out, taking you home with them.

Bad Day:

I stopped with my hand on the door. I had come all this way on my day off and now I wasn't brave enough to push the doors open. Today had been a hard one. A nightmare the night before and some rough conversations had made my insides feel all squishy and tender. All I really wanted to do was lay on the floor and cry but something had brought me here, to the daycare.

Murder's Doll (LateNight DayDreams):

a small child forced to live on the streets is abducted by Eclipse and raised to be sold off as a pawn. the first year of MC's life they live with Eclipse's charges, Sun and Moon and are tutored mercilessly until they are finally sent off to boarding school. after finishing school, MC is married off to an abusive husband but is eventually saved by Sun and Moon.

For a Time: (tag)

The love bind spell is romantic in theory. Two lovers will cast this ritual upon themselves to bind their souls together. They gain a powerful protection against force magics, they become in tune with each other's emotions, and they gain a general sense of where their partner is at all times. When this spell was first concocted, it was meant to create more powerful bonds between lovers, helping them become truly connected and have better insight into each other’s lives. But people don't always have the best intentions. The reader gets attacked and their attacker uses the love bind spell to hurt their soul, tearing the edges as the spell is broken halfway through casting. The reader tries to ride out the healing process alone but soon their upstairs neighbors, Sun and Moon, come to check on them and quickly decide that the reader needs a helping hand, sort of moving into their studio apartment with them

Some of these won't be finished and some are OLD writing of mine. you have been warned. Please don't let that stop you from reading these and enjoying them <3

[ssnowflowers]

"Does anything matter to you? Like what do hold close to yourself? Just yourself? Just your life?" "Is the idea that pirates don't hold themselves accountable to any sort of structure...news to you?"

This moment. This moment is messing me up. And I think it's such a perfect window into P!Acho and P!Owen as characters.

Owen is, at a core level, someone who does not build things. Owen has spent her whole life on the run. Always fleeing problems. Taking things he wants and leaving them when they get boring.

Sure, Owen mentions structure. But that doesn't mean rules specifically. It's expectation, it's any kind of social normalcy. Owen became a pirate because it is freedom from rules and structure put in place. But there's still structure, a way you're meant to be a pirate. You're supposed to find something that drives you and find a crew to trust.

Owen has none of that.

In fact, she spends a large amount of time complaining about the Herons faction. How traditional and rules based they are. He literally gets attacked by Eret, and still complains about the rules of the faction isles.

It's why he gravitates towards Acho. Because she is an outsider among outsiders. Someone who doesn't care for the faction system, someone who has left behind responsibility and expectation like she did.

Owen loves being a pirate, because no one can tell him how to act.

Meanwhile, Acho is someone who is constantly creating things. Connections, rare items, important structures and even a large bank account. Acho is always, in some form or another, creating.

Which is why Acho feels so strongly about staying and fighting. A part of star has always lived in the isles. The Nightingales has become their home, they've made friends. He's reconnected with their brother. Being a pirate has given them a chance to explore, to find, to enjoy life.

They've built things here, and they cannot lose that.

Acho talks about not being a true Nightingale. But when he and Will are the first ships there during the rescue mission, Acho tells Will he will go in with or without the other pirates, because he needs to save their friends. He comforts Graecie, he ensures Scott is safe, he wants to keep Apo around in the faction isles.

Because they always want to build things. And their connections are their most important construction.

It's why they are so angry at Owen leaving. They've built a connection with Owen. She was someone to talk to, he was someone star could be honest with. They had a connection and Owen decided that didn't matter. That none of it mattered.

Owen left, because she was never making a home of the isles. It was just a stop off point. Acho was just another person among the many Owen had charmed.

Acho stayed, because star made the isles into a home. And Owen was not dime a dozen.

[v-i-r-i-d-i-a-n]

(I’m using caps, I am not upset JUST PASSIONATE)

This is an Eleven character rant/study, I have a really hard time putting my thoughts into words so I’m sorry if I talk in a circle a lot but I am simply ranting

Y’ALL DONT GET IT

ELS CHARACTER ARC DOESNT MAKE SENSE IF SHE STAYS WITH MIKE

AND IM GONNA TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE A LOT OF Y’ALL FORGET THAT IF BYLER DOES HAPPEN SHES GONNA PLAY A BIG PART IN THE STORY CUS YK SHES MIKES GIRLFRIEND AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS TO END FOR THAT TO BECOME AN ACTUAL THING

From the moment we’re introduced to El we know that her character arc is about personal freedom, being free, being her own person, she escapes from the lab where she has no freedom and has never had the ability to make her own decisions, that is THE FIRST thing we learn about El; Is that she is searching for freedom. We know El has never had the chance or has even been given the right to choose what happens in her life. We learn that throughout season one, with her being uneducated on the simplest things, not knowing what privacy is and in the end not really wanting privacy, and then she “dies” finally choosing something for herself.

Even in S2 we see her yet again, being in a situation where she does not have freedom. Living with Hopper was like a prison, it reminded El of living in the lab, it reminded her that she did not have control over her life, THAT YET AGAIN the government was deciding what she could and couldn’t do. Even if not directly, the reason Hopper wouldn’t let her out of the house was because the lab was actively searching for her. El didn’t have freedom when living with Hopper.

And then we see her finally choose something for herself, she leaves the house despite it not being safe because she doesn’t want to be controlled anymore, she wants to have freedom. And then someone see’s her and Hopper yells and takes away the ONE THING that connected her to the outside world and she runs away. To be free, to try and finally get some answers for herself. To have the freedom to create her own opinions on information she doesn’t know yet.

And then we meet Kali, and it’s the free-est El has probably EVER felt in her entire life. AND THEN Kali manipulates her, and tries to get her to do something she doesn’t want to do. SHE YET AGAIN DOESNT HAVE TRUE FREEDOM BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE IS TRYING TO DICTATE HER LIFE, TO USE HER AS A WEAPON

IN S3 SHES ABLE TO SEE MIKE AND GET OUT OF THE HOUSE SOMETIMES BUT SHE STILL ISNT FREE BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT SHE REALLY ONLY SPENDS TIME WITH MIKE AND MIKE ALWAYS COMES TO HOPPERS HOUSE WE KNOW EL DOESNT KNOW WHO SHE IS, THAT SHE DOESNT TRY AND DISCOVER HERSELF FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS AFTER THE EVENTS OF S2

El’s arc in S3 is, again, about self discovery (freedom), finally having a sense of being able to make her own choices, trying to figure herself out as a person, OUTSIDE of Mike and Hopper. Figuring out what she likes and doesn’t like and how to have fun and how to be a kid with Max.

EVEN IN S4 EL HAD A TASTE OF FREEDOM AND THEN GETS SWEPT AWAY BY THE LAB ONCE AGAIN. WITHOUT LEARNING TRULY WHO SHE IS YET

Now I know a lot of Mike and El shippers would argue that being with Mike was something that El actively chose on her own but you have to understand how their relationship even came to be to know that’s absolute bullshit

El didn’t know what a friend was when she escaped the lab, and I can tell you FOR SURE that she didn’t understand what Mike meant when he kissed her. Maybe on a surface level, but not really fully understanding it all, I highly doubt Papa taught El ANYTHING about relationships. So this idea of romance was thrust upon her when she had no real idea what it was

The only understanding of romance El had was that of the shows she watched in Hoppers cabin, and we all know that was a dolled up fantasy version of love, but it’s the only example El was ever given, so even if she didn’t fully understand love she thought that was what people did. I don’t know if El ever loved Mike, or if it was hormones, or just simply because she thought “oh, this is what people do. This is what Mike meant. Well, it doesn’t seem too bad. And I’m supposed to do it right? That’s how I’m supposed to act? That’s how people act. So that’s how I will act.” And maybe El did really like Mike, or maybe she confused friendship for love. That I’m not really sure.

But I do know one thing, and that’s that being in a relationship is not healthy for El. Even at this point El doesn’t know who she is as a person, she’s still figuring it out. She’s still searching for that freedom her ENTIRE arc has been about.

And I know a million people have already talked about how Mikes arc surrounds needing to be needed, and that, at its bare bones, is not healthy for El. She does not need him. Maybe at first she did, in S1, when she had just escaped from the lab and needed some sort of guidance, but it was the same way she needed Max, she needed someone to guide her through the basics of being a person..But she does not need him now.

At least not in the relationship type of way. I THINK MIKE AND EL COULD BE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. But it’s not healthy for either of them to stay together.

Because El needs to find herself outside of someone else, outside of Hopper, outside of Joyce, outside of Max, outside of Mike.

And being in a relationship does not allow her to do that.

Might rant about how Mike staying with El also doesn’t work for him as well idk

I WROTE THIS INSTEAD OF DOING SCHOOL SO SORRY IF ITS RUSHED