#daydreaming for the past 4 years is the reason i’m still alive

[awetistic-things]

took me a while to figure this out for myself, but my daydreaming isn’t a way to cope with my trauma, it’s just a prison to keep me from dealing with it

[myfavoriteficss]

Marvel Angst Masterlist

This Masterlist includes all of the Marvel angst I have reblogged. The angst will range from very light to heavy depending on the fic. Enjoy.

Updated: 07/17/2021

Marvel Masterlist's

Masterpost

KEY:

Genre: (F) = Fluff, (A) = Angst, (D) = Dark, (J) = Jealousy, (V) = Violence, (H/C) = Hurt and/or Comfort

Trope: (ER) = Established Relationship, (EL) = Enemies to Lovers, (FL) = Friends to Lovers, (FE) = Frenemies, (FD) = Fake Dating, (F/B) = Friends with Benefits, (BU) = Breakup/Already Broken Up, ( C) = Cheating, (UL) = Unrequited Love, (SB) = Slow Burn, (P) = Pregnancy, (BS) = Bed Sharing, (SR) = Super Reader

Type: (AU) = Alternate Universe, (18+) = Mature/NSFW, (HC) = Headcanon

1. Wanda Maximoff

Written by: @aaron-despair

Not your fault (ER, F, A)

Written by: @abimess

It only takes the holidays (AU, A, F): (1) It only takes a commercial - (2) It only takes a pothole - (3) It only takes a lunch - (4) It only takes a party - (5) It only takes a Christmas tree - (6) - It only takes an unexpected visit - (7) It only takes a weird noise - (8) It only takes a fund-raising event - (9) It only takes a starry sky - (10) It only takes a Christmas gift - (11) It only takes a decision - (Epilogue) It only takes a deed

Too familiar, too hurtful (EL, A, F)

Marry me (A, F)

Written by: @aestethick​

Roses (A)

Written by: @allyouthought​

always (F, A)

Written by: @aphrodite-made-me-write-it

Cast A Spell (On You) (AU, A) 

Written by: @badgerfic

the serum (A, V): Part 1

Written by: @buckyssoldat

(UL, A) (1) Not in that way - (2) Gone

Written by: @c-is-writing

gaze into my mind (A, F) 

good enough (A, F) 

Written by: @cantcontroltheirfear​

Odds (AU, A): (1) Another One - (2) I’m Ready - (3) Bar With No Name - (4) That Much Is True - (5) Still - (6) Second to Last Last - (7) Even

Written by: @captainhotch

Cat and Mouse (A) 

Written by: @certifiedskywalker​

Waiting for Home (A) 

Written by: @dancing-the-hellfire-rumba

Je Te Laisserai De Mots (A) 

Written by: @delfiore​

i sunk in all the memories (A) 

better than losing you (ER, A) 

Written by: @desparadowrites

The Very Awful Not Good Bad Day (SR, A) 

Written by: @empyreanwritings

Almost Lost You (FL, A, F) 

Written by: @fallinforevans

you have me (FL, A, F) 

Written by: @forever-your-soldat

(ER, A) (1) Too Much - (2) Her Love 

I Can’t Hurt You (A, V) 

Written by: @frostedfaves

All Too Well (ER, A) 

Written by: @harringtons-imagines

Monster (A, F) 

Written by: @helloalycia

just a kid (ER, A, V, D): [one] - [two]

Written by: @hiiraya

(A, F) (1) one last dance (rewrite) - (2) one last chance (rewrite) - (3) with you

loving you had consequences (rewrite) (BU, A) 

you are my sunshine (rewrite) (A)

Written by: @jabbagabba

La La Land (A): Prologue

Written by: @jbbarnesnnoble

(ER, C, A) (1) Out of Everyone Else - (2) It's Me You're Gonna Miss

Written by: @kingsmanandqueens

Winsome Enigma (A, F) 

Written by: @lesbian-lilo​

Mission Mishaps (H/C, F, A) 

Written by: @lowkeyerror

I Have To See Her Again (A, V)

Written by: @m-lesmxrales

Safe & Sound (ER, A) 

Written by: @marvel-wlw

Somewhere to Run (A) 

Written by: @marvels-writings

Broken Sense (UL, A) 

Dreams that Come True (F, A) 

Always Safe (A) 

Scared (A, F) 

Hurting You (A, F) 

Wanted More (ER, C, A) 

Written by: @marvelsdc22

What We Thought We Lost (AU, FL, A, F): Part 1 - Part 2

Written by: @may-fanfic​

I Just Want You (A, F) 

Written by: @mcuwritin​

Mission gone wrong (A): Part I - Part II

Frenemies? (FE, A, F): Part I - Part II

Written by: @missmonsters2

About You (A): Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V - Part VI - Part VII - Part VIII - Part IX - Part X

(ER, A) (1) Under the Light - (2) You Found Me

Find Your Way (BU, A) 

Last the Night (ER, C, A) 

Written by: @mymymarvel

Never Is Enough (A) 

Written by: @nermalina

so in love. (A, F) 

Written by: @nervoustrack

We're out in the open sea (A)

Written by: @nothingbutimagines

Last Christmas (UL, A, F) 

Written by: @procrastinatingsapphictrash

The pact (FL, F, A) 

Written by: @queenxxxsupreme

1950 (A) 

Written by: @randomshyperson

Sorry for your loss (FL, A, F): (1) I will grieve - (2) I will try - (3) I will get better. - (4) I will move on - (5) I will love again (18+)

The Scarlet Witch Prophecy (AU, FL, F, A): (1) The First Year - (2) The Second Year - (3) The Third Year - (4) The Fourth Year (Part I) - (5) The Fourth Year (Part II) - (6) The Fourth Year (Final Part) - (7) The Fifth Year (Part One) - (8) The Fifth Year (Part Two) - (9) The Fifth Year (Part Three)

Left Behind (FL, A, V, F): (1) Muddy Waters - (2) R.I.P to My Youth - (3) No Time to Die - (4) Save Me - (5) Someone You Loved - (6) Once a Promise, Always a Promise. - (7) Start a Riot - (8) Fine Line - (9) Please Notice - (10) Atlantis

Road to Healing (FL, A, F, 18+)

Drivers License (AU, FL, F, A)

The One (AU, A, F)

Written by: @rebeliz777

August (C, F/B, A): Part I (18+) - Part II (18+) - Part III

Again (A) 

Crumbling down (A)

Written by: @reminiscingtonight

(BU, A) (1) Better By Now - (2) Run Into You - (3) Still the Same

(FL, A) (1) Through The Dark - (2) If I Fall - (3) Breaking Point

(ER, A) (1) Cellophane - (2) Apologies

(AU, ER, A) (1) Break My Heart Again - (2) Burn It All Down

(FL, A, F) (1) Last Kiss - (2) All I Know - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - (6) Breathe (It’s Out Of My Hands)

A Different Corner (A) 

Need You Now (A)

Let’s Hurt Tonight (ER, A)

Ghost of You (A)

Lego House (AU, FL, A, F)

Not Ready For Goodbyes (ER, A, F)

Hold On (ER, A)

Twilight Time (ER, F, A)

Feel It Twice (A)

I’ll Never Love Again (A)

Written by: @rogue-barnes-16

I’m A Monster (FL, A, F) 

Written by: @saintprinsessa​

Feeling You (A) 

Written by: @sapphicshots

to grow old in (ER, A, F) 

falling (FL, A, F) 

Written by: @shesaidnomaam

Witch & Wound (A, F): Part 1 - Part 2

Two A.M, Two Bottles In (A) 

Written by: @somewhatgreatexpectations

Love Goes (FL, C, BU, A, F): (1) Latch - (2) One Day at a Time - (3) Fire on Fire - (4) Like I Can - (5) Breaking Hearts - (6) Another One - (7) Palace - (8) Writing’s On The Wall - (9) For The Lover That I Lost - (10) Leave Your Lover - (11) Nirvana - (12) Lay Me Down - (13) To Die For

Love Me (Or Let Me Go) (AU, A, F): (1) Leave, Then Go - (2) If you need me, let me know - (3) Walk Away - (4) In the Middle - (5) Love Me, or Let Me Go - (6) Don't Go - (7) Separate Ways - (8) Set You Free - (Alt. Ending) Home

Written by: @spoopy-imagines-writer

Behind These Hazel Eyes (A) 

Written by: @starshipsofstarlord

Two Beds, One Home (A, F) 

Testing. Testing. (A) 

Written by: @subtlebucky

she lives in daydreams with me (A, F) 

Written by: @thenatashamaximoff

Dangerous Love (C, BU, A, V, SR): Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Epilogue

Broken Love (C, A): Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Written by: @thewitchandtheassassin

Guilt is an Ugly Mistress (ER, A) 

Of Love and Of Loss (ER, A) 

Written by: @waiting4inspiration

Why? (A, F) 

Written by: @wandaownsthisass

If You Need Me (A) 

Written by: @wandaromanova​

Should’ve Been You (ER, A) 

Written by: @wandsolsen​

Champagne Problems (ER, A) 

Written by: @wellsayhelloaagin​

Cross My Heart (ER, A): Part 1 - Part 2

Written by: @wokeupinawalnut

(ER, BU, A) (1) Six Degrees Of Separation - (2) Wherever This Goes

Save The Best For Last (FL, A, F) 

Written by: @young-and-bitchy (deactivated)

Here You Come Again (BU, A) 

Written by: @8plasma

children of tragedy (A): [part 1] - [part 2]

2. Natasha Romanoff

Written by: @aestethick

Last Kiss (A): Part 1 - Part 2

Written by: @allfiguredout

Home (A) 

Written by: @aphrodite-made-me-write-it

To Mend (A, F) 

Written by: @c-is-writing

untangled (F, A) 

Written by: @crimsonspy

Don’t shut me out (FL, SB, A, F) 

Written by: @demxters

bluebird (A) 

Written by: @femreader

Don’t Go (H/C, A) 

Written by: @higherfurther-romanova

Then Finish It (A, V, D): Part 1

Written by: @hiiraya

(A) (1) didn't know what I had - (2) you were good to me - (3) what I want

closure (A) 

Written by: @jbbarnesandnoble

Rainy Season (A)

When We Were Young and Naive (AU, A) 

Written by: @jumbojamba47

Guest Room (A) 

Written by: @lesbian-deadpool

New Surroundings (A): (1) Glad You Are Back - (2) Glad To Be Home

(A, F) (1) We Were On A Break! - (2) I’ll Be Home For Christmas

A Fresh Start (A, F) 

Written by: @lilxberry

I Watched You Die (A): Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Written by: @lndlover

Somebody else (C, A) 

Written by: @lonelyandlovelorn

Loophole (F, A) 

Written by: @marvels-writings

(ER, C, BU, A) (1) Used To - (2) World Turned Upside Down - (3) My Forever

Not Meant to Be (A) 

A Reason to Leave, a Reason to Stay (A, F) 

Perfect (A, F) 

Past Come to Life (A, F) 

Piece of Your Heart (A, F) 

Make it Right (ER, A) 

Can’t You Tell? (A) 

Written by: @marvelouslytrekking

Finding You (A, V) 

Written by: @marvelsbanner

Someone to You (A, F) 

Written by: @may-fanfic

Because I love you (A, V): Part 1 - Part 2

Written by: @missmonsters2

Lead Me Astray (ER, A) 

Leave Me Lonely (ER, A) 

Stars Falling (A, F) 

Written by: @natasha-danvers

Oh (A, F): Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

Longing (A): Part 1

Written by: @pietrosgf

the sweet escape (A): (1) what died didn’t stay dead - (2) you’re alive in my head

Written by: @pigeonp0st

Natasha Romanoff x Reader #2 (A): Part 1 - Part 2

Written by: @procrastinatingsapphictrash

Can’t get over her (A, F) 

The rest of my life (A, F) 

A little help from the team (A, F) 

Doubt (A, F) 

Drunken confessions (A, F) 

Written by: @quickpiet

Walk it off (A, F) 

Written by: @rebeliz777

You saved me (A) 

Written by: @roger-that-cap

(ER, C, A) (1) cardigan - (2) tolerate it

peace (A, F) 

Written by: @romanoffswifey

Point Blank (A): Part 1 - Part 2

Written by: @saltybaltic

Come Back To Me (A, F) 

Written by: @sapphicshots

i can’t live without you (A, F) 

Written by: @satxnsupreme​

Welcome home (A) 

Written by: @shesaidnomaam

Natasha x Reader (A): Part 1

Written by: @startrekkingaroundasgard

“I didn’t mean it.” (A, F) 

Written by: @thenatashamaximoff

Dangerous Love (C, BU, A, V, SR): Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Epilogue

Broken Love (C, A): Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Written by: @thewitchandtheassassin​

All That Matters (A, F) 

Written by: @vanillann

real or not real? (A) 

Written by: @vulpe-fox

Seeing You (A) 

Written by: @wandavixen

Hurt (A) 

Written by: @wannabe-fic-writer

Old But New (A, F) 

Fed Up (A) 

Written by: @wildhoney323

Moving On (C, A, F) 

Written by: @winedrunkbarnes

Roses and Regrets (A, F) 

Written by: @wisewidow

Gunshot Roses (A) 

Written by: @wokeupinawalnut

(ER, BU, A) (1) Talks That Break Hearts - (2) Talks That Mend Hearts

Written by: @yourmcu

Bloodlust (A, F, V)

3. Carol Danvers

Written by: @hiiraya

stay a little longer (rewrite)

the one (that got away) (rewrite)

get well soon (rewrite)

until the end

Written by: @missmonsters2

Move Me Along

Written by: @wlw-imagines-blog

We Don’t Talk About It

4. Yelena Belova

Written by: @a-simple-imagine

Left Behind

Written by: @empyreanwritings

Old Habits Die Hard

Written by: @marvels-writings

Stay

Written by: @nermalina

mild interference.

Written by: @rogue-barnes-16

Braids

МОЯ ЛЮБОВЬ

Written by: @thewitchandtheassassin

Promises

5. Michelle Jones (MJ)

Written by: @borntobewondering

& Ever

Written by: @heckin-good-holland

In Her Arms

Written by: @leiasfanaccount648

Good Times

Written by: @sensestinging

Curious - Unfolding

[chaoticdean]

(click on the banner for HQ, Tumblr somehow keeps fucking it up)

31 days and close to 39k words written later, here’s my Suptober20 master post! I can hardly believe that I managed to write everyday for a month, and I once again want to thank all of you for tagging along and being the nicest cheerleaders in the whole damn world. 💜

A special thank you to @winchester-reload​ for hosting this massive challenge and being the nicest gal around ✨

LINK TO THE SERIE ON AO3 | LINK TO MY TUMBLR TAGGED POSTS

(individual posts under the cut because this is a very long fucking post)

#1 — On the road again

The thrilling quest of gouda cheese — wc ~ 900 — Castiel is in charge of grocery shopping today, which could be a great thing if Dean could stop making him run back to the store multiple time. When his boyfriend decides they’re suddenly in urgent need of a special cheese, Castiel in turn decides he’s had enough.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#2 — Earth

A plastic and cardboard affair — wc ~ 1.2k —  In which Castiel suddenly becomes hyperaware of the looming environmental catastrophe ahead and decides to start changing things in the bunker, and Dean... Well, Dean is sleepy, AND HE JUST WANTS TO CUDDLE.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#3 — Demonic

Demonic skills — wc ~ 1.4k — Before Cas, Dean could always count on his abilities in bed to get him out of conversations he didn’t want to have. Now, though, not so much. (also known as “post-coital pillow talk with Cas”).

AO3 | Tumblr post

#4 — Branded

Etched into my bones — wc ~ 500 — Against all the odds, Dean is the one who suggests it. He claims it’s just a mean to an end, but Cas knows better. After all, he’s the one who gets to witness the man behind the hard shell he shows to the world every single day, and he’s grown to love the soft side of Dean Winchester. 

(Darkest Roads!verse)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#5 — Daydream

Dr. McHandsy and the curious case of the white lab coat — wc ~ 1.5k  — They’re on a case and undercover, and that’s reason #1 why Dean shouldn’t be sitting here drooling over his partner. But really, who thought putting Castiel in a doctor outfit would be a brilliant idea?! 

He’s gonna kill Sam.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#6 — Mask

A study in scotch and pampering — wc ~ 1.3k — If anyone had told Dean Winchester years from now that he’d be content letting his husband paint his face with foreign matter (not that kind of foreign matter, you kinky bastards) that smells like coconut and feels like whipped cream, he would’ve had the biggest laugh out of it. Nowadays, though, if that’s what it takes to get Cas to talk, he’ll do it in a heartbeat.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#7 — Domestic

The shirt in the dispute (and other laundry feuds) — wc ~ 2.1k — It all starts off with a sordid affair of mixed laundry, and somehow it’s World War III in the Men of Letter’s bunker (or the one where Castiel messes a batch of laundry up, and Dean’s Led Zeppelin shirt bites the dust)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#8 — Heartless

Ohio and the open secret — wc ~ 1.5k — Dean desperately tried to get Sam to pass on this case, hoping to finally get some alone time with his boyfriend for the first time in a while, but his giant moose of a brother decided to tag along anyway. Now they’re stuck in the same bedroom in Ohio, and Castiel is about to lose it, so Dean takes the matter into his own hands.

(it doesn’t go as planned)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#9 — Electric

Ocean waves — wc ~ 1.2k — It’s been 5 years now, and somehow they figured out their shit. A house on a the shore, a ring on their fingers, and despite everything Dean still wakes up to find Cas wrapped up in a panic attack on random nights, doubts and anxiety eating him alive. But they aren’t alone in the panic anymore.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#10 — Sweet Rides

Home is wherever I’m with you — wc ~ 600 — Until a few years ago, Dean didn’t have any home. He grew up in shitty motel rooms and inside the Impala, on the road and in-between schools. As he finally allow himself to fall into Castiel’s arms, he reflects on all the places he can call home, now.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#11 — Rock & Roll

Sharp Edges — wc ~ 1.6k — Castiel told him he loved him right before getting swallowed up by the Empty. Sam asked him to talk to someone, anyone really,, but words won’t come out, and how is he supposed to tell anyone how it feels to lose everything? So he writes. Letters on napkins, motel notepads, paperback books. He writes as he goes through every steps of grief, until finally there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#12 — Rewind

Leading me, going home — wc ~ 900 — Dean and Castiel reflects on their past and what they would say to their past self if they had the opportunity to rewind. (also known as “Castiel uses too many Harry Potter quotes, which gets Dean to prevent him from ever binging the movies again”)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#13 — Ladies

The promise in the cocktails — wc ~ 800 — When a joke involving colorful cocktails designed to put his brother into misery turns into a promise for more steamy nights with Cas, Dean thinks he might have won the lottery (and God bless strawberry daiquiris).

AO3 | Tumblr post

#14 — Fun & Games

A fever and the whipped boyfriend — wc ~ 1k — Being in love with a being as old as the Earth is all fun and games until said ex-angel gets sick for the first time of his entire (overwhelmingly long) life and turns into an actual, honest to god, gigantic baby. Lucky for Cas, Dean turns into perfect boyfriend mode. 

AO3 | Tumblr post

#15 — Third Eye

The blonde-haired witch and the little push — wc ~ 2.8k — It’s not the first time Dean’s ever had to listen to someone referring to Castiel as “his boyfriend”, but it sure as hell is the first time he has to sit through a diner listening to a witch referring to Cas as his husband without even batting an eyelash, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Which would be fine if it didn’t cause actual shivers to run down his spine.

(or the one where a friendly witch gives Dean the little push he needs)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#16 — Switch it up!

The spices in the suit — wc ~ 1.7k — Dean doesn’t know when he started taking advices from Sam when it comes to his love life, but after tonight he thinks he might be more mindful of Sam’s wiseness in the future. Especially if it gets him all the way to the backseat of the Impala with a former angel in his lap.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#17 — Autumn invading

Storms never come to stay — wc ~ 1.6k — Dean finds Cas in the wood behind their house, hours after they had a fight. They’ve been together for a long time now, yet fears still run deep. 

(Darkest Roads!verse)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#18 — Dark & Stormy Night

The wayward gang and the questionable cocktail — wc ~ 1.9k — Castiel comes back to the bunker after a day on the road to find the wayward gang scattered over the map table for what appears to be a cocktail night. Sam wanted piña colada, but Dean Winchester bartender extraordinaire decided to go for something darker and stormier...

AO3 | Tumblr post

#19 — Pour one out

As days fade (and night grows) — wc ~ 1.9k — Castiel wakes up alone and cold, and decides that he’s had enough of Dean shutting him out. They’ve lost Jack, but it doesn’t mean they have to lose themselves too. 

AO3 | Tumblr post

#20 — Home

The fire in my bones — wc ~ 1.1k — It’s not a secret that Dean Winchester isn’t particularly good with words, but when he fucks up and unintentionally hurts Cas, he knows he has to do better.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#21 — Fear

If I let you go, would you hold on? — wc ~ 1.6k — Castiel gets hurt on a hunt trying to protect Dean, and Dean is tired of having to wake up everyday not knowing if they’ll both be alive the next morning or if one of them is going to sacrifice himself to save the other. Finally, he makes a choice that will set he course of their future together.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#22 — “I cursed the gloom that set upon us, but I know that I love you so...”

Just a little rain — wc ~ 800 — Leave it to Led Zeppelin and Dean’s slow dancing skills to soothe the pain of letting your kid leave to tour the world.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#23 — Favorite

You feel like the sun on my face — wc ~ 700 — Dean awakes to Castiel sliding into bed after he just came back from a hunt, and somehow it’s kind of the best feeling in the world.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#24 — Family business

Wherever we are is where I wanna be — wc ~ 1.4k — It took them a few months, but once Dean and Castiel decide to move across the country and into a home of their own, everything falls into places. 

AO3 | Tumblr post

#25 — Villain

The blue tie in the bathtub — wc ~ 1.2k — Dean has been a pain in the ass all day, so Castiel decides to drag him into the bathtub and tie his hand up the shower rail before teaching him a lesson.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#26 — Walk of shame

And I would walk 500 miles — wc ~ 1.3k — The one where they think they’re being subtle, but they’re actually being really loud (and Sam happens to have functioning eyes, too.)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#27 — Banquet

Drunk on love — wc ~ 800 — Dean’s analogies are usually spot on, but maybe he’s had a bit too much whisky to be clever tonight (or maybe the fact that Castiel’s mouth is currently glued to his throat is preventing him to think clearly, who knows?)

AO3 | Tumblr post

#28 — Hellscape

Adventures in Christmas shopping — wc ~ 500 — Castiel wants to go Christmas shopping, and Dean being a very whipped thoughtful boyfriend decides to tag along. It doesn’t go well.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#29 — Fragile

Anytime you reach for me — wc ~ 700 — A look into what sex used to mean to Dean before Cas, and how his world has been turned upside down ever since he got in bed with a former angel of the lord.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#30 — Dress-up

Entertainment in soapy water — wc ~ 800 — Castiel just went down the garage to see what Dean is up to, but when he catches a flash of red right above the waistband of Dean’s shorts, it seems like his boyfriend might have dressed up just for him to see.

AO3 | Tumblr post

#31 — Carry On

Scar tissue — wc ~ 1.6k — There are arguably a few things that Dean dislikes more than anything else in the world, but nothing compares to what it feels like to wake up in an empty bed in the middle of the night, and the insane bolt of fear laced with anxiety than runs through Dean’s chest when he realizes he’s got no idea where Castiel is.

AO3 | Tumblr post

[blueberryjam1201]

Still 17 Drama review

-      What are you drawing? Are you drawing a food?

-      No, I’m drawing a person

-      Who?

-      I don’t really know her that well. But she triggers my curiosity every time I see her…

“A person’s life doesn’t always require a special or dramatic event for it to suddenly change. Sometimes very small and trivial things shake our lives with a force that is stronger than we think…”

This post have minimum spoilers so if you still haven’t watched this drama, you can still do it after reading .Please DO SO! ❤

This is a story about how the fate of two strangers was connected by destiny.

He was watching her every day, fall in love with a girl he didn’t know. She was always walking across the street, standing on the bridge, and daydreaming. He watched her secretly. That was the day when he finally decided that he will give her the portrait he drew. That was the day he was ready to speak with her. Miracle happened when the person who spoke first was her. On the bus, she asked which stop should be the best to get to Cheongan Art Hall. In just a few seconds when he realized who just spoke, he stood up and with excitement explained everything to her. He said NEXT STOP….that was the biggest mistake he made…

That was the biggest reason for the blame he had for next 10 years….

After failed attempt to give her the portrait he jump out of the bus and realized the moon pendant from her bag was somehow stuck on his bag. Not thinking much, he started to run after the bus. He was running and running and then in front of his eyes an accident happened. Standing in the rain he saw the traffic accident and the bus falling down on the ground.

….2 people killed…

…many in critical condition…

But No Soo-Mi, is she alive?

Unfortunately, she was one of the 2 who passed away.

For him this experience and weight of the guilt was unbearable.

13 years passed…

In a random hospital, a woman is lying in one of the rooms. 30 yrs old. No family. In a coma for the last 13 tears. She was only 17 when this happened. Nurses were gossiping about her monthly hospital payment which is always paid but no one knows by who. She doesn’t have any visitors.

Then one day the music was played and bouncing on the hospital walls.

Ears heard…it was an impuls to the mind…she opened eyes!

-      Who’s over there?- she lifelessly asked the doctor and nurses

-      The person who is staring at me….Who is this lady?

She said after looking into the mirror...

Yes, that was her. She woke up with mind of the 17 yrs old teenager. Time has stopped when she was in the bus going to Art Hall….

Characters:

Woo Seo-Ri(Shin Hye Sun) – the main protagonist. She loves playing violin and it’s her dream to stand on the stage and play as a professional. Unfortunately, she is still a teenager mentally, and trying to live in a world of adults is not easy. She is very loyal and honest. Looking for her family, she ended up living in her old house which was a long time ago sold for new owner.

Gong Woo-Jin(Yang Se-Jung) – because of tragedy he experienced in the past he is very cold and closed minded person. Not involving with other people’s life and expecting from everyone the same.  Seo Ri’s appearance is starting a new chapter in his life and helping him to change his indifferent state of mind.

Yoo Chan(Ahn Hyo-Seop) – son of Woo Jin’s sister. He is moving to uncles house for the time when his mother is outside the country. Very pure person and the first one who make friends with Seo Ri.

Jennifer(Ye Ji-Won) – Although all the actors made a amazing effort in playing their roles, I wish to give a big applause to her as a supporting actor. Jeniffer is one of a kind and I will remember her “Call me Jennifer” or “No, No , No” forever ❤ also the tragedy in her story was a masterpiece!

That’s 4 main characters.

I wish to speak about Shin Hye Sun. She is one of my favorite actors. Her acting is on another lever, leading this drama on her back she took me to another world again. All of them are amazing however, I’m sure everyone can agree that her skills are just incredible. She played 30 yrs old woman with 17 yrs old mentality and she nailed it!

Another thing what I wish to mention is romance progress and the main male lead.

I wasn’t convinced with him at the beginning, just another idol playing a not complicated role. Just make an angry face and all be good. No! He is not an idol, but a full-time model and actor and we can see his skills after a few episodes when he is starting to open thanks to Seo Ri. From that point, I just melted. He is so natural! And have beautiful wide smile ❤ Their romance is one of the best things I have seen, natural, without any cringe typical drama “things”. Everything is going so smoothly and it’s so enjoyable! Their personalities just fit each other perfectly.  

Summing UP: This drama is a very deep yet funny masterpiece with a heartwarming message. I recommend it for everyone, and I mean it! This couple is the second-best couple (the first one is HyeSun x JungHyun ❤ hell yes!). All the stories in here have a good script, maybe a little disappointment in the “auntie x uncle disappearing” story however it wasn’t bad, just good.

Anyway! It was long but anyone who reached the end of this post - I really hope you like it! And please leave a heart if you did ❤

Moreover, everyone is welcome for discussion!

[ji-yaaan]

Hello Yam Yam. It's been awhile. Y'know, I don't really know what I want to drink today, so can I have some of that mystery tea with Riddle? Maybe some illegal h*nd h*olding can be involved? ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ

°•°•°•𝓑𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓽 𝓓𝓸𝓾𝔁•°•°•°

Riddle Rosehearts x Reader Oneshot

Note: Not to be biased because I know you.... But frack it, I AM BIASED! Here have a oneshot I made in the toilet at 3am as I watch the Heartslabyul Tv commercial continuously sobbing- lololol jk.... oR iS it? Anyway... Have a oneshot made with my tears!

Warning: slight angst! ( ◜‿◝ )♡♡♡

[ 𝚃𝚎𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚈𝚊𝚗'𝚜 𝚃𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 :') ]

A faint glow of the dim lamplight illuminates the still room swallowed by daybreak. Warm rays of light seeps through the lace curtains reflecting unto the boy whom laid peacefully in bed. Crimson red lashes adorned the smooth white skin that lies under.

Eyes that opened revealed the slate tinted irises that peered unto the bright windows. The birds that sung mellifluous songs rung from the trees into the lonesome room of the young boy. Dark circles that looked out of place painted his pale face that seemed more lifeless than the usual.

With the curtains that flew from the morning zephyr, the Colors that burned lit the the small bedrooms blinding the young boy. Raising a hand to block the blinding rays of light, a troubled sigh escapes his lips. "It seems as if it's morning now..."

Standing on his two feet, Dishevled crimson hair stuck to his forehead. He stood by the large bright windows savoring the morning breeze that blew past his finger, reaching out for nothing. He stared at his empty fingers that lost the hold of you, his thoughts that whispered in his brain the unspoken feelings he wished he had said.

How pathetic... He's stuck in a limbo of wanting to forget and wanting to hold on to the dissapearing memory of you. The constant chaos that gracefully consumed him, the fading daydreams he tightly held on to, the dreams that was now lost in the nights you won't spend together.

Another troubled sigh escaped past his lips yet again. The aurora skies that painted the clouds seemed duller than the usual... How nice it felt to view a world with rose tinted glasses... But that dream slowly crumbled at the grasp of his fingers...

Putting on his clean uniforms, tying up is necktie into a bow, he was ready to set off to do his routine at Night Raven Collage. Walking into the hall of mirrors in the early morning, his memory was still fuzzy. It felt as if moments and memories were cut off... Just like a vivid daydream that never happened.

"What even happened yesterday?" Riddle questions himself propping his fingers in his temple. Walking off to school never felt as horrible as this before. What really happened you ask?

Reminiscing on the events that unfolded, the boy tried to remember the cause of his misery... "Oh right... I almost forgot... Y/n left..." Eyes filled with melancholy stared at the floor, then to his shoes. He stopped in his footsteps feeling his stomach churn and his heart grow heavy. He can't help but make a pained smile in the middle of the halls as he stared off in the clear skies.

"How pathetic... I wasn't even there to send them off yesterday... I guess that was foolish of me to busy myself to forget about them... I wonder what they're doing now..." A troubled sigh escapes his lips as he clutch his chest from the unexplainable pain he felt.

"How jarring..." He continues his pace with heavy hearts. A drowning thought came to his mind "Dear heart... please let this feelings fade..."

Today really seemed dull. A wash of rain storm that poured down in the gardens of the Heartslabyul dorm, Rain that drowned the emptiness and sorrows of a young boy. The dorm leader drowned himself in unfinished paper works in hopes to forget his bitter woes of unspoken love that will never come true.

Words after words, pages after another, the hundreds of letters written across the papers, yet.... He still can't erase the vivid memory of you, just like a man hopelessly drunk in love... How pathetic...

4:30pm... During these times, it's usually at these hours where you serve him the sweetest chamomile tea that never fails to soothe him. Was it because of the warmth and aroma of the flowery tea? Was it because of the soothing properties of the tea itself? Of course not... It was because you were there to accompany him... You were there...

Now... You were just a fading memory that slowly vanished from his arm's reach... Maybe it's true with what people say... You will never know a value of the simplest moment, not until it becomes a memory you have no choice but to hold on to.

After a few moments of haze and confusion, stuck in a daze bewildered by the thoughts of you. A loud knocking came from the door, muffled by the loud roars of thunders and rain. Even if it was such a stupid and hopeless thought, a small part inside him wished it was you when the doorknobs turned and opened.

"Oh riddle... There you are. We haven't seen you much yesterday and even today." It was Trey... It was just Trey... Of course it was Trey. Oddly enough, Riddle felt like the stupidest man alive expecting you to come in from the door. He was truly disappointed from his own foolish fantasies. Just how stupid has he become, ready to beg just for a glimpse of you?

"Is that so? I'm a little busy yesterday and today... Maybe even tommorow too... I expect you to take care of the dorm as the vice dorm leader." Riddle sighs rummaging through the piles of documents scattered across his table.

"Riddle, I know what you're doing. You've been avoiding the first years since yesterday. Stop doing this to yourself, look at you... You look lifeless these days... You know... regarding about yesterday, Y/n-" Trey tried to reason with Riddle, only to be left to get cut off in the middle of his sentence.

"The troublesome first years ate the tarts in the fridge again... according to Rule#89: You must never eat my tarts without my permission. But I'm feeling merciful today, so it's not off with their heads yet. But do tell them according to Rule#53: You must replace the things you stole. Send my regards to them that if they don't return my tarts, it's off with their heads." The pen in between his fingers scratched aggressively at the thin papers beneath, the calm atmosphere in the room changed quickly in a bitter mood. Just with a single mention of a forbidden name, all reason and rationality was thrown off the window.

"Riddle..." Trey was just worried, a wash of worry and pain covered his face, but again, he was interrupted. "I expect one answer from you Trey." The slate irises pierced gazes at the third year.

"Of course, dorm leader..." Placing a tray of teapot and a tea cup in the desk, trey set off to leave the dorm leader's office.

As riddle was pouring a cup of tea in his teacup. The flowery scent of Earl gray tea enveloped the room for a brief moment. He could never get used to the bitter taste that lingered in his mouth with the bleak world without a glimpse of you. Even if it was just a voice... A strand of hair... Anything... Anything would be fine to feed his lonesome desires.

Whilst sipping a cup of his tea, his eyes wanders off in a corner you used to sit. How he fell for you easily, reminiscing on the days he saw your smiles and heard your laughter, the days he gets to be there for you in times you cried your heart out... He misses you this bad, yet you're no longer there to hear his heartfelt words. Honest feelings and bad timing make one of the most painful combinations....

His eyes landed on a small worn out book that never left your hand. A book you always read and carry around at times. The book you read when the both of you enjoyed each other's company. A thought inside his head lingered, starved from your presence. Even just a small fragment that carried a part of you was enough to set his feelings to a frenzy.

Grabbing a hold of the book, lightly tracing the cover as lithe hands flips the crisp pages. Riddle notices a bookmark in between the last few pages you've read. A bookmark that looked oddly like an envelope, yet a surprising word was written in the thin piece of paper... "Riddle Rosehearts"

Intrigued by his name written across the paper, he unfolded the paper to view whatever content lies beneath. In fact, there really was a word written inside the bookmark.

Fingers lightly held unto the paper, starving for words that you may have left, even just a singled random word will do to ease the feverish need of indulging the thoughts of you. As he read letter after another, his heart flutters as his stomach churns.

The empty looking paper that was held between Riddle's shaking hands read: "Hey Riddle... If you see this someday... I like you... no, I love you.." A billet doux with simple words and blunt feelings. A single sentence that left a man speechless of his words and breathless from his underlying feelings.

He looked up the ceiling above trying to stop the salty tears forming in his eyes. He closed his eyes with thoughts of regret screaming deep inside him.

In a moment of self hysteria, rationality was thrown out his train of thoughts. Nothing seemed matter anymore. He wants to see you... He wants to hold you... He wants to tell you all of his feelings he kept deep inside him... He wants to hold onto you forever...

Like a foolish man drunk in love. He stood up in his own two feet, dashing through the long maze of hallways into the rose gardens that led a path to the hall of mirrors.

Maybe if he tries hard enough, he can make his way to see you in your world. Maybe if he tries hard enough, he can persude you to find a way to stay. Maybe if he tries hard enough, even a glimpse of your figure was enough for him... Maybe... Maybe... Mabye. Everything were just maybe's.

A young man stood in the middle of the rose gardens, drenched in the pouring raindrops with no care in the world. The grey clouds heavy with rain continuously dripped from the heavens. Red crimson hair drenched from the storm. Empty eyes looked above as the young man closed his eyes. Trying his best to get the gravity of his situation, finally taking his time to rationalize his actions.

"Hah.... This is stupid... I'm stupid... There's no way I'd get to see them again... Let alone I was dumb enough not to say a goodbye... I give up..." A scoff left his lips full of grief and misery. He crouches down in the ground as the fading moments and memories with you flashes through his mind. If only he can see you again... If only he can touch you again.. if only he could hear your sweet voice again... If only... If only...

Lonely tears prickled his face, mixed with the cold raindrops as sadness and sorrows washed his misery away. "If I were to see you again... I'd gladly give up everything for you." Silent whispers of regret muffled by the rains and thunders left to be unheard.

"Riddle? What are you doing there? Come here you might get sick!" A sweet voice like honey rung in his ears. Like spring that bloomed in nowhere washed his grief away. The words ringing that healed his despair. Was this a dream? Was this a hallucination? Has he finally gone mad? How ironic it was that he finally have gone insane. Even without saying a proper goodbye, his hallucination of you still worry about him... How fitting...

"RIDDLE!" A hand grabs Riddle's arm, waking himself up to reality. Like a miracle unfolding before his eyes. The very set of eyes he admired most peered down at him. Eyes full of worry, pain, and sadness. The eyes of the person he truly loved...

"Y/N? Why are you here? Are you real? Is this a sick prank? What is this? Weren't you supposed to be in your world now?" Eyes that widened with shock stared at the person before them. Blank thoughts, eyes that stared at you intently waiting for an answer, with his hand clutching unto your wrist desperately, as if you'd fly away at any moment.

"Of course I'm real! Didn't you hear from trey? I told him an hour ago that I decided to stay... I didn't go in the mirrors yesterday..." A sigh of relief escaped Riddle's lips, as if a weight on the world has been lifted from his shoulders. "Why did you choose to stay?" The same eyes still gazed at you with melancholy and expectation, child like innocent eyes stared at you asking for answers.

"Well... I forgot something very important you know? Turns out I can't bring them back with me... Before I forget again... Riddle... I like you... I like you so very much I'm willing to stay here forever..." Wide eyes with shock, pink cheeks flustered like rose petals. Hearing you say your confession with your words accompanied by a sweet melodic voice was a million times better...

Riddle sighs in relief again. Tears formed in his eyes fell to his cheeks. The faint glow of sunset lit the rose gardens at dusk. The storm calming down, with rain stopping and rain droplets dripped from the rosepetals and leaves. Warm tears prickled down Riddle's face, accompanied by a smile of relief as muffled sobs and hitched breaths leaves his lips. Trembling in shock and joy he mutters "I'm glad... I'm glad your here again... I'm glad you chose to stay... I'm glad you like me, because you know... I like you too."

Glossy slate eyes stared back at you as a pair of cold hands grabbed unto yours. Intertwining your fingers together, you both shared each other's warmth... A tender smile covered both of your faces as the both of you start laughing in your pathetic looking state.

fingers mingled and intertwined, he brings your hand to his face as he rested his cheek in the back of your hand. Softly inhaling and taking in your scent and presence.

“Y/n I love you...”

"I love you too Riddle!"

“I know...”

"What? How do you know?"

“Of course, I read your love note... Pfft.... That was cheesy I might say...”

"YOU READ WHAT?!"

Both drenched in cold rain, but hearts full to its brim. Heavy hearts lifted from grief and sorrows. The dull world seemed colorful and vibrant yet again. The storm that once devoured the life out of Riddle has now passed. It is time to bask in your sunlight to melt all of his worries away...

Staring at your lovely presence, a thought lingered deep within Riddle's heart...

“Seeing you brought me back to what felt like home... I love you...”

Note: Sorry that took long I needed lots of braincells for that lmao- but I really hope you enjoyed that! Took me a while to get in the groove of writing again oof... I've decided to birth lotsa oneshots in my request so if ur request takes a bit if time... That means I'm innit for brain murder time! Oh and also I am sick so it yea.... It will take longer for me to have braincells and produce content frickle frack I hate this- ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

[the-second-tonks]

hi!! can i participate in hp game?? this is what i sent you for hp ship:

i’m straight female, i have bluish/green eyes and long blonde hair. i’m average height and weight. i’m aquarius and i fit into aquarius stereotypes lol,, i’m ambivert but more extrovert. i’m loud and i have bubbly personality. i daydream a lot and i like making up imaginative worlds and characters and writing about them. i enjoy reading and watching movies. i’m interested in many things: astrophysics, psychology, biology. i love listening to rock music. i’m bad at any form of music and art. i was a very talented child but that kind of went away as i grew up. i’m still good at many stuff but i’m not the best at everything anymore (and i’m fine with that!) i tend to gossip a lot even though i try to avoid it, i can keep secrets if they’re really important otherwise i tell it to someone who has nothing to do with it (if that makes sense). i overthink a lot. i get annoyed easily especially when it’s anything to do with sounds or light (i have misophonia) but ppl think i’m funny when i get mad. i’m emotional but i can’t talk about some things that have to do with them (i can’t say ‘i love you’ it’s just too awkward). i also overshare and can have deep conversations at any time during the day. my style is all girly and elegant but my movements and the way i talk are not. i’m friendly with everyone and can’t flirt if my life depended on it. i can say flirty jokes but it never comes off as flirting. when i really like someone it lasts for REALLY long time and i have hard time moving on. i’m very smart but my brain needs time catching up with some things (it takes me time to understand a joke for example). i have positive and cheerful nature and i’m something between optimist and realist

i think you shipped me with draco, but i don’t know my house, as for the past i really don’t care what wizarding family i’m part of, in fact i’m curious about what you think and i don’t care the blood status and i want to be in the same year as harry, also if it’s not problem i’m curious what would weasley twins think about me? if i did something wrongly here in the ask please say so, thank you!!

Hii ! Sure ! Okay ! No you did nothing wrong !

About you

Your name : Y/N Diggory

Blood Status : Pure-blood

Family members : Cedric Diggory (brother) , Amos Diggory (father)

Year : same as Harry's

Your wand : Unicorn tail hair , alder , 9" inches , surprisingly swishy

Your Quidditchch position : I thinking you'd be a good beater or in the stands !

Your work : I feel you'd be a writer and/or a professor

Your immediate friends : Harry Potter , Ronald Weasley

Your bestfriend : Ronald , Hermione and Harry

A small word from Mr.Ollivander

You might know everything about other's life , Ms.Diggory , but I'd expect you not to miss the minor details of yourself and your life .

Your sorting

You're really kind and unique . Imagination and writing . I think you fit good in Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw , but your thoughts tell me ..

Ravenclaw !!

Your patronus

Beaver 🐻

Doer, Builder, Gatherer . Beavers are friendly and bubbly , but very territorial . They will not hesitate to harm you and ve violent if they feel like .

Your boyfriend

Adrian Pucey (ex)

Reason to get together : He asked you out for the Yule Ball

Time span : Medium (it didn't last much actually)

Reason for break-up : You both fell out of each other and it wasn't anything special that you felt towards each other .

Draco Malfoy (husband)

Reason to get together : You felt bad for him and decided to help him , this improved your relationship a lot and he began trusting you . This led for him to fall for you , but he told you this only after the war .

Time span : long-lived and strong

Marriage : After you both completed your studies and became successful

The Professor who'd adore you

Professor Flitwick . He'd adore you and your qualities a lot . No specific reason , but he likes you a lot .

Your Yule Ball look

This is such a cute dress !

Your date : Adrian Pucey , because you both were mutually pinning ..

Your past

You had a normal and regular past , just like others . Your brother adored you and protected you , your father thought you about the world , but you were also a unique one in yourself . Rebellious when you felt like you should be , you were really a gem of the family .

Your strengths and weaknesses

I'm quite sure that

Your strengths are : Herbology , muggle studies , transfiguration and charms

Your weakness are : flying maybe?

Others are medium

Your strongest spell type : Sneaky

Your weak spot : Curses

Your popularity

It wasn't a lot before Hogwarts . But after you got involved with Harry in the 4th year , yes. You were quite popular then .

What the Golden Trio thinks about you

Harry Potter : Not gonna lie , he did have a small crush on you , but it soon faded . He loves you are a bestfriend and would do anything for you . He likes how positive and cheerful you are

Hermione Granger : She usually spends time having conversations with you . But she loves you for your smartness. She might not like it when you gossip. But she'll be by your side always .

Ronald Weasley : He loves you a lot . Almost like his sister ! He really loves you and would actually help you with your characters and imagination . He'll also get you books (Hermione suggestions)

What the twins think about you

Fred Weasely : He likes you a lot . He might even teach you how to flirt , he'll definitely be a good friend of yours . He'll always stand up for you and will never ever hurt you . He thinks you're a baby who's supposed to be protected . He likes your individuality a lot and appreciates it. Might use your smartness in pranks .

George Weasely : Ever if you have deep conversation , it'd with George . He's really sweet with you and often makes you laugh (though he has to explain the joke a lot). He loves spending time with you and you both are eachother's friend in need .

Marauders'thoughts on you

James Potter (if he was alive) : He'd like you . You'd partly remind him of Lily , but he'll only like you . He'll be fine with you but it doesn't feel as if you both would have a very close bond , I feel it would be a good bond and you both would have fun together .

Sirius Black : He really understands you and your emotions and often helps you with them . He also understands your tendencies to overthink and becomes a kind of mentor to you . He loves you a lot actually . Also , you're rebellious and Sirius loves it .

Remus Lupin : He likes you . He respects you . He keeps his distance but he appreciates your smartness and uniqueness . I feel like you'll help him with the werewolf thingy and he'll be grateful to you all his life .

Could you master all of the deathly hallows?

No

You didn't try doing it even . (According to me)

A short paragraph on you going to your first year at Hogwarts

"Ced , are you sure?" You asked him , loudly . He smiled at your cuteness again and spoke "Yes y/n/n . You'll be fine at Hogwarts without me . Don't worry ! I know you'll make many friends and gossip together" Cedric teased you and you pouted at him . He laughed again , as you both made your way to the wall from where Cedric said you were supposed to pass . "Alright y/n/n , you first" Cedric spoke as you both reached the wall . You smiled nervously and spoke "okay Cedric " he gave you an encouraging nod and whispered "Run if you're nervous" . And you ran through the wall . Surprisingly , you didn't crash . Opening your eyes at the sound of a horn , you smiled at the plate which indicated 'Platform 9¾' .

Your life at Hogwarts

Year 1 , 2 , 3 : You were with your fellow Ravenclaw friends and Cho Chang . Draco Malfoy was not rude to you but not exactly polite too . You kept ignoring him , but adrain had caught your eye .

Year 4 : You kept thinking about Draco's silver eyes which met your and spoke "Go away" . You were at the Quidditch worldcup when draco had spoke this to you . You retunred to Hogwarts with your regular friends . Cedric took your help to ask Cho out . Adrian surprised you with a sweet date and Yule ball request .Your brother was in triwizard tournament . But the problem was that you and Harry were also in it . Someone had sneaked your names. You couldn't save your brother . You and Harry became friends there after .

Year 5 : You were already quite against umbrigde . You hated her and how she mistreated everyone . Cho got together with Harry and you kinda were cross with cho for it . Harry dated Cho whilst you were with the trio . Harry asked you to join the Dumbledore army and trusted you with their secret . Turns out Cho betrayed you all . But the shocker was Draco trying to hide you while you all got caught . He defended you and saved you from the cruel punishment . You helped harry and others and actively battled in the ministry of magic .

Year 6 : Draco and you grew close . You felt eachother's pain and everything . You both fell for each other hard and he told you about his mission . Before you even had the chance to be confused about who to support (harry or Draco) , a bunch of death-eaters kidnapped you . They tortured you a bit until Draco surprisingly took stand for you again . He and you confessed your feelings and kept going on with the struggle .

Year 7 : You were very loyal to Draco and he was to you , until Harry Hermione and Ron were caught and bought back . You ran away with them because you were loyal to them too and you knew that even Draco wanted the dark lord to die . You knew the trio might need your help and drco wouldn't be too upset for you to go . You ran out of the Malfoy Manor with Harry , Hermione, dobby and Ron and went on with their journey , finally uniting with Draco Malfoy after the war .

Your adventures

So basically , you were a good backup and you , since gossiped , knew many things that harry , Hermione and Ron missed. You were a great help to them . Other things are summed up above.

Draco though didn't like your friendship with the trio , he never tried to break it because he knew they held a special place in your heart. You and Draco had a kid and you both named them after Cedric .

That's it ! I'll take your leave !

I hope you like it !

[livewireprojects]

This would have been up earlier but I went over the reblogging limit because I was trying to reblog posts I mistakenly reblogged to my art blog before removing them from the blog. If you’re on my art blog just click “My website” if you want those posts.(Due to the way the theme is coded I just put the link to my main blog in the only other spot I could link it in) This mistake was due to reblogging from the Tumblr app at the time as I didn’t check with account I was on or maybe it was bugged.

Day 25 was Happy Holidays Not pictured are Yuta, Touko, Komaru, the three's kids(I only now remember the kids would be adults in this) & the Hope Warriors(explained later), I didn't think about it at the time of drawing this. This is either a non-despair AU or an AU were people survived due to the person next to Ichigo being Mondo & Chihiro's daughter. I was originally covering everything with green & red(sketch was originally in blue) but couldn't make it work for me so only the writing has it. Later today I realized I should have made the sketches black since the blue is out of place for this. So this is the Togami family when the twins are adults Len has warmed up to Yasushi during collage & returns his affection even if he can still be a little like he usually is to others or when pouting/angry. Len ends up having quadruplets a bit after collage, he loves his daughters but he often worries for the youngest of the 4 kids & the only boy. The baby boy is a bit like his aunt as a baby, timid & easily scared. Yasushi has calmed some but is still friendly & bubbly/cheerful, he's working on his swimming career but is always making sure to be there for his family. Ichigo in a timeline were her lover's parents are alive goes on the marry her childhood friend/eventual sweet heart Ami. Ami like Ichigo was a shy girl but when when mad(which isn't often, maybe pouty & stuff but not mad & still not often) is a lot like her father Mondo. Ami when unable to talk to Ichigo or anyone else about something will go to her older half brother Daichi, whose dad is Ami's other dad Ishimaru, both kids' mom is Chihiro. Ichigo has matured some but is still the sweet & shy girl she's always been, while her brother is working with their dad as the next heir of the family Ichigo -with help- has worked on a program to help other kids with trouble learning to figure out a way that works for them while also still doing great with puzzle games. The grandkids I drew for the twins, like I mentioned Len had quads but Ichigo has only had one kid while she's the stepmom to Ami's daughter. Neither like to talk about what lead to their eldest daughter but they love her & she's doing well with her moms & sibling. For some reason S & I had a bunch of random crossover stuff. For reasons unknown their daughter is pretty much Homaru from Madoka Magica. Homaru doesn't remember what happened in her past life yet but at the moment she's more interested in helping her parents take care of her sibling.(I don't have a gender nor name for the baby yet) Homaru tries to be mature for her age, something that makes it feel like she got it from her uncle Len despite not being related to the twins. Despite this she's a gentle person that does her best for her family. Her sibling likes to sleep a lot but is cheerful & likes to snuggle. So this time it's kind of my fault for the kid while S added Homaru, so the only son & the youngest kid of Yasushi & Len is Shinji.(No explanation I'm sorry) So in order of who is sitting/next to who it's Shinji(as mentioned the youngest), Miki(born before him), Aiko(second born) & Sumiko(first born) Sumiko often seems to have this dazed daydreaming look as she stares into space & is happy but when she isn't enjoying herself to imagining whatever an one year old can she's a smart baby. When focusing she might be able to figure out were you left something. Aiko is a lot like her dad, cheerful, energetic & seems to like sports. They have her in baby pants/leggings because she'd trip over her dress from all the crawling she does. Miki is a smart baby & likes to listen to mommy read to her, she is observant like her sister Sumiko & might be a little like her mom when she's not being a happy baby. Shinji as mentioned is scared of the still very new world around him like his aunt when she was his age. He's usually clinging to his mom, when not clinging to his mom he's listening to music & seems to be mimicking(the best an one year old can) playing a piano. Some times it seems like he knows someone is missing.

Go check out @naegamimonth

[robodaydreamer]

RadioHusk Week - #2 To Love A Dumbass

I meant to write a drabble and my hand slipped.

I’m sorry.

[ EDITED 4/5/20 ]

I want to do a drawing for every fic, it just takes my dumb butt forever to do anything. Forewarning, this was done at 2 am, so it might be a bit jumbled? I edited what I could to fix it. I hope you all enjoy!

To hell’s general population or the few who knew of him, Husk was a lot of things. Temperamental, apathetic, tired of everyone’s shit... the list could go on, but he liked to think he was a pretty simple guy.

Uncomplicated and easy to understand. You leave him alone, he’ll leave you alone. You get on his nerves, he’ll probably claw your eyes out. Maybe. If he actually had the energy for it. A fair trade if you asked him.

And he didn’t ask for much. To most, he didn’t like to be bothered, he enjoyed card games, he depended on alcohol to get him through the day, and he had a fondness for magic tricks.

That last one was a little-known fact to their small group of misfits. The hotel’s residents didn’t need to know about it. The only reason any of them had even found out was because of Angel Dust challenging him to a card game.

He was more than a little drunk at the time. Hah, he’d been fucking plastered.

Kicking that fluffy arachnoids ass was just a bonus. While he never doubted his own hand, being that uncoordinated never usually ended well for him. He tended to keep to himself when he was at his worst.

He was surprised he even agreed to do anything at all instead of telling that perverted walking stick to shove off! Even more surprising was as trashed as he’d been, he was still apparently unbeatable.

Husk wondered if he had an ace up his sleeve… and he didn’t even have sleeves… or wear clothes.

Yikes. Did bow ties and tophats count?

Hmmmm… wait. No. He wasn’t doing this to himself again. It was hard enough accepting he was an overgrown catbird. He’d leave this complicated crap alone. Besides, trying to wear clothes over fur was a pain in the ass. Not to mention extremely uncomfortable...

Lucky streak aside, Husk won whatever bet they’d made. He couldn’t quite remember what it was since he’d been blackout drunk, but he knew Vaggie had enough blackmail on Angel to get about a week’s worth of good behavior out of him.

That alone had made this whole thing an even bigger victory. The only problem was that with his drinking, while his gambling was on point, his mouth… wasn’t. 

Plenty of sinners gave away personal information when they were drunk. People did it while they were alive, so it wasn’t an uncommon thing down in hell. The only problem was where it ended up… or who it ended up with.

Long story short, he’d apparently let Angel Dust in on his appreciation for magic and had even shown him a trick or two with his cards while they were playing. He couldn’t remember jack shit, but it was possible.

How else would Angel have found out? The only other demons who’d know would be Alastor or Niffty and he doubted Alastor would randomly share something as insignificant as this. He may have a thing for pushing Husk’s buttons, but he didn’t think the other would just throw that out into the open without any context.

Actually, he probably would.

Either that or Niffty spilled the beans… she liked his coin behind the ear trick. She made for a great audience, even when she had to stop him to sweep up his stray feathers or dust the furniture in his room. He wasn’t a total slob, but he was rarely in his hotel room to begin with, so it wasn’t really his top priority.

Like right now. He could clean up the broken glass next to the bed, but he wasn’t going to. He drank often enough, so hangovers rarely bothered him, but sometimes even he overdid it.

His tolerance was absolutely phenomenal. A blessing and a curse. On the one hand, he could enjoy his booze and watch his drinking buddies fall over after a few shots of the hard stuff. On the other hand, it was tougher to get buzzed or even just flat out drunk if he wanted a quick way to escape his own mind.

Last night had been one of those times and he absolutely went overboard. The hangover he was nursing could definitely attest to that. If the pounding in his head grew any worse he’d probably die. Again.

With a sigh, Husk shifted into a more comfortable position, trying to keep his wings in mind. He didn’t need any other problems right now.

Speaking of problems, he hoped he didn’t do anything too stupid. How did he get back to his room, anyway? He tried to wrack his brain for answers, but all he got was a flash of white-hot pain radiating throughout his skull for his trouble.

This was the beauty of alcohol. It made you forget, even if it was only for a short time. He’d already made that mistake twice in one fucking day… One with Angel Dust, and the other with-

A knock at the door made him tense, the sound not at all helping his headache. Who was bothering him at this hour? Wait, what time was it? Shit… was he late for work? Most likely. He didn’t actually give too much of a shit, seeing as to how he worked seven days a week. 

The only one it would actually bother was-

//BANG//

The sound of the door slamming open and ramming into the wall made him jump so hard his teeth clacked together. 

A loud boisterous voice filled the quiet of his room moments later, “Ohhhhh Husker! Wakey wakey, my darling kitty cat! Your shift started hours ago, and our sour sinners are hankering for your testy temper. And quite possibly a beverage or two, but that is no concern of mine. Hahah!”

Husk groaned, curling into a ball. Maybe if he hid in his wings, the bastard would take the hint and leave. He was too exhausted to deal with this shit.

Of course, he wasn’t that lucky. Give him a deck of cards and you’d see him win the whole pot! But a radio demon that he just so happened to be in a relationship with? Not so much.

Hold on a damn minute… Was it a relationship? It was probably the closest thing to one. They never agreed on an actual title, but Alastor had been pretty pushy about them trying this… whatever it was out.

In fact, if he thought back to it, he hadn’t believed the guy at first, having been pining over said demon for years. Why would he come waltzing over to Husk, demanding him to be his significant other?

He’ll fucking tell you why. His own mouth betrayed him. With Angel Dust, he’d been very loose tongued thanks to his over drinking.

Alastor had come over to watch their game of cards, and by the end of it, had decided to poke fun at his old pal Husker. 

He’d given Husk a round of applause for his card tricks, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that he’d won the game and left Angel Dust flipping the table in despair. None of it mattered because it hadn’t been enough to fill Alastor’s endless need to be entertained.

He just so happened to believe that ‘drunk Husk’ was an absolute riot. He’d told him as much in the past. 

Although, instead of the usual banter or wobbly cat behavior he would have normally provided, Husk decided to share an even more personal secret than his fucking magic tricks.

He’d told the cannibalistic serial killer he was in love with him.

And it didn’t end there. To make it worse, since he’d been three sheets to the wind, he ended up forgetting everything that happened.

Angel Dust finding out about him being a magician was fine.

Alastor finding out about his undying love for him?

Husk would sooner have jumped in front of an Angel on extermination day than to have revealed his feelings to Alastor.

When he’d found out about what he’d done, because of course the insufferable jackass had to bring up his mistake as soon as he was sober, he may or may not have tried to jump out of the nearest window.

That was a tough feat to accomplish considering his bar was on the first floor. Had he done it anyway? Well, he tried to, but the other put a stop to his attempt so he hadn’t gotten very far.

In the end, Alastor had told him he should’ve confessed sooner because they could’ve been spending quality time together. He may have spaced out after that due to his brain short-circuiting.

It was almost too good to be true.

Husk agreed to Alastor’s demands, feeling like he would’ve been an idiot to refuse an opportunity to spend more time with the demon that held his heart in the palm of his hand.

Should he have paid more attention to what those demands were? Hell yes. His impulsive decision left him with more questions than answers.

After all, making deals with demons was a dangerous game.

The lowlifes he used to play poker with regularly would’ve told him to suck it up and take the offer for what it was worth. Taking chances was their shtick. 

Jerry, the cheating piece of shit, would have asked, “Why look a gift horse in the mouth?”

This was why. He had so many regrets. 

Husk heard the tapping of hooved shoes making their way toward him and scowled from beneath his feathery shelter. If Al did what he knew he was absolutely going to freakin’ do, he’d give him the silent treatment for the next three days.

He’d say a week, but Husk would cave long before Alastor… He may like his space, but he liked Alastor more. The guy had a way of making him crave for his attention, even if the radio demon himself didn’t always want it in return.

Hell, Alastor rarely showed any interest in him to begin with. And no, having an interest in causing him constant aggravation did not fucking count. He was busy with the hotel and all of the ragtag tenants he got a sick pleasure tormenting. 

It was hilarious. Honestly, it was, but he wanted more��� It was selfish, especially since he fell in love with Alastor for who he was and not for some warped soap opera version of himself that he was sure plenty of demons daydreamed about.

Eugh...

Husk was guilty of daydreaming. He daydreamed plenty when it came to his ‘partner.’ Husk would be the first to admit he was a hopeless romantic… well. Maybe not out loud. 

He liked the thought of tender touches, passionate kisses, and appreciative glances. Did he need them? No. Did the thought of them make his heart race? Fucking Christ, yes they did.

He knew Alastor wasn’t interested in any of that. It wasn’t who he was and Husk could accept that, selfish desires be damned. He just wished someone would give him a hint as to what exactly Alastor was playing at. 

Was this something he actually wanted? What was he getting out of it? Why would he even bother with something he usually thought was so ‘tedious?’ He’d said so plenty of times to Angel and Charlie.

It’s already been a few weeks since they’d made this little agreement. Now that he was thinking back on it, it's almost been a month! You’d think he’d know the answers to all of these questions by now, but he was left in the dark when it came to Alastor’s intentions. 

He was torn from his thoughts when a hand gripped his furry ankle and dragged him to the end of the bed. 

Husk let out a warning growl to try and ward off the other from his oncoming attack, but it was useless.

Alastor only chortled in response and Husk felt the hand wrapped around his ankle tighten briefly before moving away. He knew better than to believe that was it. This was only the beginning.

He was proven right when his wings were forcefully pried apart, revealing him to his attacker who looked way too smug for his own good. “My Dearest Husker, why must you hide from me? You know, while I do love your volatile personality, I’m only here to help!”

Holy shit… 

Had he actually fallen in love with this dumbass?

Husk sneered, the stabbing pain in his head only growing worse as he locked eyes with Alastor. “Help? How is this helping?”

He watched Alastor’s brows furrow for a split second before his grin stretched impossibly wider. “Why, of course it is! You would have missed your shift, otherwise. After all, your job is crucial! You’re the first face our lovely residents see!”

Sitting up, Husk felt his wings fluff up. This was getting ridiculous. He was hungover and more than a little unstable in the feelings department. Alastor was only making things worse, seeing as to how he was the main cause of his emotional turmoil. 

He could start yelling and throwing a tantrum, but that would only amuse the bastard and leave him with an even bigger headache. 

No. He had to catch him off guard.

Maybe he’d try something new… he had nothing to lose except his dignity and he’d lost that years ago.. 

Fuck it.

“I want a divorce.”

He felt a swell of pride at Alastor’s blank stare. So that actually shut him up, eh? Sure, this didn’t at all make any sense, but if he had to deal with Alastor’s bullshit, then the idiot was going to get bullshit thrown right back into his stupidly handsome face.

“Pardon?”

“I want a divorce.”

Alastor’s smile waned as his brows went back into a furrow, his head tilting to the side. “Husker, my good man… we aren’t married.”

Husk felt himself relax. Al’s voice had quieted immensely from his earlier shouting. He always had to project his voice, no matter where he went. This was a hell of a lot better for his head. He could already feel the pain lessen.

With a distracted nod, Husk huffed out, “I know. I still want a divorce.” He watched as Alastor’s grin strained, eyes narrowing as he studied him. He felt a shiver travel up his spine at the others searching stare.

Unsatisfied with what he seemed to not be able to find, Alastor released the firm grip he had on his feathers only to move those deft clawed hands behind his back. Husk was sure he was clenching them tight with frustration. 

He couldn’t tell if this was funny or sad. He didn’t want to piss off his ‘steady,’ but he also wasn’t in the mood to be pissed off himself.

Looking at Alastor, he had to admit it was actually pretty damn comical.

“No.”

Husk blinked, feathered brows raising high in confusion. “What?”

Alastor’s expression morphed into a sharp smile, his glowing red eye’s staring unwavering into Husk’s. He seemed to radiate extreme disapproval. “No. We aren’t getting a divorce, Dearest.” His smile gave an irritated twitch.

Holy shit. This was unexpected. He hadn’t actually thought something like this would upset the overlord so much. This should be funny. He should be laughing…

It wasn’t funny. He loved Alastor too much to keep this up, but he also didn’t understand. Why was Al taking this so seriously? The radio host would usually have laughed something like this off or made an even bigger joke out of it… so why wasn’t he doing that now?

He really needed to get answers. If they were going to be anything they needed to start by finding common ground.

Mind made up, Husk stretched. If he was going to do this, he might as well be comfortable. He let out a pleased hum at every pop or crack he worked out of his spine. That felt so much better…

He glanced back up at his uninvited guest, only to pause. Alastor’s previous expression was gone. Husk wasn’t sure if he could put a name to it… but it was softer. Not a word he was used to using when it came to this particular demon. He looked downright distracted as his eyes traveled along the length of Husk’s body…

There was absolutely no fucking way this was happening right now.

He felt hope well into his chest, but he buried it down deep, he had some questions that needed answering. “Okay. We won’t get a divorce… we can still be friend-married or whatever. I didn’t think you’d take what I said so seriously...”

Alastor seemed to tune back in at the sound of his voice, his smile taking on a more satisfied curl. “I’m glad you’ve changed your mind! A divorce, hah! How silly…-” He stilled, a record scratching sound following his abrupt pause as one of his brows raised in question. “Friend-married?” 

He grimaced, “I do believe we have taken the next step in our relationship to a status higher than mere friends. Though I suppose that wouldn’t take away our actual friendship, I was hoping for a more committed type of companionship.”

Husk felt his jaw drop in shock. Hold the fucking phone, what? 

Alastor didn’t seem to notice his surprise, carrying on with a look of distaste. “Honestly, Husker… friend-married? Is that a word young folk are using these days? Taking two separate terms and mashing them together?” 

He let out an exasperated sigh, shaking his head at the thought. “I miss the days where words were used more appropriately.” Another twitch of his wide grin. “Besides, why crush words together when you can crush skulls?”

Husk gave a hard blink, his tail thumping on the sheets behind him. Holding up a clawed paw, he cut off the other’s rambling. “You… Do you seriously want to be in a relationship with me? You’re not just pulling my leg for a laugh?” If he was, he’d kill him. He’d probably be the one killed, but he would die trying.

Alastor’s confusion was palpable at this point as he tilted his head for a second time. “... I do believe I asked this of you before we began our partnership, yes. Besides, I may have just literally pulled your leg a short while ago, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I would spend so much time doing all of this just to cure my boredom..."

Husk felt like he was going to pass out. His heart was hammering so hard he thought it was going to beat right out of his chest. 

He was serious. Alastor wasn’t doing this for a laugh. He was actually interested in some form of relationship with him that wasn’t just friendly or work-based. 

Holy fucking shit what the fuck?

Husk’s ears were swiveling about, his fur was bristling, his tail was curling, and his wings were poofing out. He wasn’t sure what kind of fucking response his body was having to this unexpected situation. 

Was he confused? Was he flustered? Was he offended? He had no clue because he was feeling too much at once to comprehend a single thing.

He was able to stutter out a rushed, “Me? You want to be with me? Of all the demons in hell, you chose me?” 

Alastor gave a slow nod, regarding him with a curious gaze. “Why waste my time lavishing affection on just anyone when I can focus my attention on one demon in particular?” 

His hand rose from behind his back, cautiously reaching out towards Husk only to let it hover in the air between them as if he were worried about spooking him. He continued, “And who better than one whose company I enjoy… and one who I am so very fond of?”

Husk couldn’t fucking believe this. Alastor liked him. Alastor liked him to the point of wanting to be with him. Not just to terrorize him to get a reaction out of him. This whole time. This whole god damned time he could have been getting to know this crazy sonofabitch and here he was, wasting his only chance to do exactly what he’s wanted to for fucking years because he couldn’t just get over himself.

Husk shrunk in on himself with a horrified gasp, “Oh no. I’m the dumbass.” Before Alastor could question him, he ran his paw down his face, groaning out, “This whole time I thought you were just doing this because you were bored. You like pissing me off to the point of me ripping my own fur out!” 

His wings moved to cover him back up, he couldn’t bear to look at the demon in front of him anymore. This was too embarrassing. “I’m a fucking dumbass.” he muttered dejectedly.

The room was quiet for a few moments. Hell, Alastor could have vanished and he wouldn’t have been able to tell from beneath his feathery cocoon. This was amazing and awful all at once. He was an idiot, but he was a happy idiot.

He jumped at the feeling of gentle hands resting against his wings. He felt them hesitate before they began to caress him, palms moving in long even strokes. When Husk didn’t move to pull away or stop him, Alastor began to alternate between petting and running his claws soothingly through his feathers.

It felt nice… 

Husk felt himself begin to relax, not at all realizing how wound up he’d actually been. This was ridiculous. He needed to get a hold of himself… well. Maybe after a few more minutes of Alastor touching him like this... Alastor was comforting him. Would this ever happen again?

He really hoped so.

“Husk?” He felt his eyes snap open at the other’s hushed voice. He’s never heard Alastor so quiet before. They’d known each other for decades and not once has Alastor gotten even close to speaking in a volume this low that wasn’t a sinister threat. This was a soft plea for his attention.

Well, if he hadn’t had it before, he certainly had it now. He mentally prepared himself as best as he could before he shifted, immediately mourning the loss of the other’s hands as they retreated from his wings to give him space. 

Crossing his arms, he sat up and allowed his wings to part open, folding them down to rest over his legs and along the bedspread. Seeing as to how he’d let them drag across the floor plenty of times in the past, letting them hang off of the bed wouldn’t hurt them.

He glanced up toward Alastor, taking in his surprisingly patient smile and couldn’t help returning it with a smile of his own. Husk’s smile only widened as he grumbled, “You’re stuck with a dumbass for a partner. Hope you’re happy, ya wiseguy.”

Blinking owlishly, Alastor took on a more bemused grin. “Well… while there are several names I could call you, that one definitely wouldn’t have been my first choice. I prefer goofball!” He leaned down to get into Husk’s space, their faces only a few inches apart. “You’re a goofball, my Dear! But you’re my goofball.” 

Husk was glad he had fur because he felt his whole body heat up at just how close their faces were. It was harder to deal with his feelings when he was able to see Alastor up close. And this was really fucking close.

Alastor took notice of the change and seemed to study him, though he’d probably been doing that the whole damned time with how stupid Husk had been acting. Embarrassing. Absolutely humiliating. He was going to pretend this never happened. 

He was hungover. That was his excuse and... why was Alastor giving him that look?

Said overlord was giving him a large smirk, eyes lidded and teeth glinting from the minuscule light coming in from under his hotel’s door. His expression was one that told him he was about to get on Husk’s last nerve… he wanted to kiss that look right off his face.

Alastor closed the gap between them, purposely bumping their noses together. “My Dear sweet Husker. There’s no need to be shy! I had no idea you were so insecure. I’ll make sure to be more considerate of your feelings in the future.”

That little shit. He was teasing him! He had some fucking nerve.

Husk wasn’t about to let Alastor make fun of him. He was purposely trying to rile him up because he went all googly-eyed over him. It wasn’t his fault he fell in love with the guy! What right did he have to take advantage of that?

He made sure to give Alastor the stink eye and a very displeased noise that was definitely threatening and not at all pathetic. Okay, it was kind of pathetic. He was flustered, okay? It was tough to control his body when his instincts had a mind of their own!

Alastor beat him to the punch, making any thought of retaliation fly right out the window by gently nudging their noses together. “My Darling, don’t look so cross. I’m only teasing you!” 

Hah, Husk fucking knew it! The bastard.

The radio demon moved to press his face into Husk’s neck, his shoulders shaking with his laughter. 

Husk would have throttled him if he wasn’t currently trying not to combust. He was used to Alastor touching him, but this felt different. They were dating. It felt intimate when it really wasn’t. Was it? Oh shit… 

Normally he’d push him away, but it suddenly felt like the wrong thing to do. As if this was a moment he shouldn’t… couldn’t ruin. 

It was getting increasingly hard to not do anything, especially when the huffing breath against his neck was making him twitch. He was ticklish, and if Alastor ever found out he’d be screwed.

Okay, he had to move. He didn’t have to stop touching him, but he did have to stop chuckling into his neck. “Al, buddy. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you gotta stop.” He leaned back, arms moving behind him to support his weight. 

Alastor let him go, laughter dying out as soon as Husk had distanced himself. “Oh? Have I gone too far? Did I offend you?” 

Husk shook his head, “Nah, not that you’d give two shits about offending anybody. Too far is never far enough for you. I’m just gonna have to get used to all of this…” He quickly cut the other off when he saw his mouth open to question him. “I’m not used to all this touchy-feely crap!”

Alastor gave him a wide-eyed stare. “I’m quite certain I touch you very often, my fine feathered feline. I’ve always been very affectionate with you. What is making this so difficult for you?” 

Well, he had a point. “Okay, look. I know nothings actually changed. It just feels different now that we’re together. I don’t know how else to explain it… Like I said. I just have to get over it.”

“Hmmmmm… Righto! Then I suppose we’ll just have to get you used to it!” Alastor leaned forward, his knee coming up to rest on the mattress between Husk's legs. The mattress dipped at the added weight, bringing Husk up slightly.

Husk blanched, too startled to question what Alastor was doing as the overlord wrapped an arm around his waist. “Stay still, my Dear. We’ll solve this little dilemma of yours in no time at all!” As he spoke, his head came down to nuzzle his face into Husk’s chest fur. 

This resulted in Husk arching his back to better accommodate for the body suddenly clinging to him.

Why was this happening to him? Was he being blessed or punished? 

This felt an awful lot like a fucking punishment. 

Is this what he got for being a dumbass?

Alastor's free hand moved to rest on top of his own. “Husker, my Darling… your heart is beating very fast.”  He could practically hear the smug smirk in his sweetheart's tone.

He could live with it...

[durotoswrites]

🌹🌹🌹🌹 (this is me poking your brain with a stick and muttering "c'mon, move" interpret the multiple roses as you wish!)

Alright, 4 WIPs! (Some have a rather thick coat of dust on them, haha)

1. Doug’s Boys (A Harvest Moon greaser AU where the boys at Doug’s Inn are in a turf war with a Yankee Girls gang in Forget-Me-Not Valley) In this excerpt, Cliff was spotted doing some recon in enemy territory and it didn’t end well...

“S-Seigi…”  His blurry eyes traveled across the weapon.

Nami set down the camera she was preparing to load with film.  She was surprised the boy was still conscious; she looked around them cautiously before squatting down beside him.  “What are you going on about?”  Her voice was serious, but he caught a hint of curiosity in it despite the ringing in his ears.

“Th-The kanji on your bat…  seigi… m-means ‘justice’…”  He slurred as he coughed and retched on that last word.  Cliff looked up at her with dilated pupils; the signs of his concussion strongly evident.  “I-I take it you knew that…”

She gave a slight nod.  “Wrote it myself.”  He was sure there was a smirk under that surgical mask as she stared at her pride and joy.  The young woman pointed at the first character.  “Sei.  It means ‘right’.  Gi. ‘Morality’.”  She gestured toward the second half of the calligraphy.

He felt a wave of adrenaline rush through him again; he was so angry he could hardly stand it, but his body was too sore to move.  “A-And do you see any of that in wh-what you do?!”  He choked on vomit and blood.

So now he was willing to talk… She leaned into him so closely that they nearly touched.  Nami kept her voice low.  “Sometimes the right thing isn’t always the easiest…  Look, I don’t hate you, so don’t give me a reason to.”

2. In This Corner of the Farm (A crossover between Harvest Moon and the movie/manga “In This Corner of the World” where Claire agrees to an arranged marriage and learns to live with her new family (Akiyama Village from TSN where Cliff’s family is still alive) away from a world she grew up in.  My friend challenged me to combine the two, and it’s kinda been my secret little project only a couple of people have seen - written specially for a close friend.  It’s pretty... explicit, so I’m not sure if there’s much interest from readers.  Anyway, here’s a blurb from early on:

For as long as she could remember, Trent had helped clean her bumps and scrapes with a tender, steady hand that seemed to have experience well beyond his fifteen years. As a girl who lived on a farm and played outdoors every day, Claire was no stranger to minor injuries, but Trent always faithfully came to her side.

“It’s all I know.  I’m going to be away at school all the time and never get to see anyone anymore.” There was a hopelessness to his voice that Claire wasn’t sure how to remedy.

“They’re just trying to help you have a good future,” she insisted with a sad smile.  “I bet someday you’ll be saving peoples’ lives and you’ll be happy doing what you do.”

There was something so sincere about those clear blue eyes that the uptight boy couldn’t help but relax a bit.  “Well, when you say it, I almost feel like I could believe you.”

Claire’s face lit up; Trent rarely gave a genuine grin, and when he did, it felt like she was the only one in the world he smiled for.  She took his hand and twirled herself, her blonde hair fanning out as she drew out a soft chuckle from him.

“You’ll get to meet and help so many people!  Just focus on that!”  She spun once more and when he shyly let go of her hand, she continued to dance in the grass.  The gentle breeze played with her loose hair like a set of celebratory streamers.  

“Maybe it won’t be so bad…”  He watched, entranced, as the girl moved to music he couldn’t hear, her natural talent a delight to behold.  Claire’s face glowed as her eyes met his, and the color rising in her cheeks wasn’t solely from her movement.

3.  The file is simply titled “MM”.  It’s a Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask I was working on several years ago.  After Link releases the spirit from the Deku Mask, he finds himself compelled to wear it, eager to understand this timid voice that keeps calling out to him in his mind when he dons it.  He becomes obsessed with the mask, slowly forgetting which memories belong to him.

“Go ahead, try it on.  You’re a brave kid, aren’t you?”

He gave an emphatic nod.  That was the way it always was with the boy; he was always eager to let others define who he was.  The princess had once referred to him as a ray of light, a courageous symbol of hope for her kingdom.  That was his favorite description of anyone gave of him, and he did everything he could to live up to those expectations.

He held the mask up to his face and felt his head spin as a searing pain traveled across his body.  He could hear the crackling of wood as the mask fused to his flesh and it felt as if his skin was being torn apart.  He let out a muffled cry of pain as he doubled over and he realized at once that his body had become more rigid again.

4.  The draft is titled “stale chocolate”.  A small bit of original fiction I wrote a couple years back, and in a way, it almost feels complete as is.  I'm on the fence about whether or not I want to play around with it some more.

While Renee couldn’t remember the last time she had been there, she definitely recalled the way she had left – doors slamming, gritted teeth, acid tears burning the corners of her eyes, and the awful flavor of stale chocolate lingering on her tongue.

Indeed, it had been an unpleasant experience.  She had promised herself she would never go back there again.

It didn’t do well to dwell on the past, she reminded herself as she shifted in her seat on the bus. Knees closed, feet pressed together, posture erect, purse in her lap – she hated the overly formal stiff posture she had adopted in public since then.  Perhaps it was because she wanted to prove to herself that she still knew how to conduct herself.

Renee always thought of herself as a sensible, practical sort.  She didn’t read too much into daydreams, she always carried around something to write with, and she bought milk with the latest expiration date she could find on the shelf.  

Perhaps practical and mature were two different categories altogether, she mused.

After all, an immature person could go off on a humiliating tirade and still buy fresh milk.

[elysia20]

UNFORGETTABLE - PART 4

Chapter 3

Hogwarts express - 12:34pm 

Elle was happy. 

She was back with her friends.

But the thought of her father and brother associating with he who must not be named, sent shivers down her spine. 

It caused the hairs on her arm to rise. 

It left her with an uneasy feeling in her lower belly. 

She didn’t want to believe it. How could she?. 

Theodore was her twin bother. He told her everything.

Her father on the other hand, told her nothing. He may not have been the nicest of men, but working for the dark lord wasn’t a possibility. Surely. 

Deep in thought, she almost missed the small tap on the door of the compartment. 

Looking towards the sliding door, she met eyes with the kind, old trolley lady.

Giving her a warm smile, she reached into her bag for her purse. 

After collecting a few coins, she proceeded to make her request.  

“Please may I have, 2 liquorice wands, a chocolate frog and some fizzing whizzbees?’ She spoke gently to the old witch. 

The old woman turned to her with a smile on her face, presenting her with her treats. 

“There you go dear, that will be 2 galleons” she hummed towards Elle.

Elle swiftly handed her the coins, muttered a quick ‘thank you’ and retreated back into her compartment, but not without the older witch making a comment. 

“Such lovely manners, just like your mother’ the witch looked to her with a smile. 

Elle couldn’t help but feel a tad of guilt as the older witch spoke. 

Looking down onto her lap, she could feel the tears well in her eyes. 

Careful to not alert the others, Elle shifted her gaze and proceeded to look out of the window.

Watching the green fields pass her by. 

Trying to rid herself of her thoughts.  

Anything concerning Elle’s mother was a soft spot. 

Despite the older witch giving her a compliment, even likening her to her mother caused her pain. 

Though she died 14 years ago, the wound was still fairly fresh.

Theodore had never felt like this. 

Elle had asked him many times how he felt about mother. 

He never really had a proper answer. Stating he didn’t even know her, so he couldn’t really be sad. 

That was the one thing about Theo that really pissed Elle off.

The only thing about him that really made her tick. 

The fact that he was never truly open with his emotions. 

I guess that was the Slytherin within him.

After glancing out of the window for a reasonable amount of time, Elle glanced back towards her group. 

Ron and Hermione were arguing over something mundane - as usual. 

Harry though, seemed to be in a daydream. 

Pulling him from his thoughts Elle spoke “Something on your mind H ?”

He looked towards her with a sheepish smile , “Everything’s great, do you have something on your mind?” “No, not really, just thought you looked like you were deep in thought” she uttered. 

He just smiled towards her while shaking his head. 

Elle and Harry always had a special relationship. Despite, Elles father being alive, she considered herself to be an orphan. 

One of her parents may have been dead, but the other blatantly pretended that she didn’t exist. 

Elle was an orphan. 

Harry may not have had the best upbringing but at least the Dursley’s acknowledged his presence. 

Something Elle used to long for from her father. Just a little bit of recognition.

When she first learned to fly a broom, she expected her father to be happy for her - he was a keen quidditch player in his day. 

Instead he congratulated Theo with a bone-crushing hug, while only giving a weak smile to Elle. 

By the age of 8 Elle knew not to expect anything from her father. 

Even on the twins birthday, Theo would get more praise, more appreciation, more LOVE.

That was something that Harry and Elle could relate on, they never received love from their families. 

When Elle met Harry back in first year, they knew they were going to be two peas in a pod. 

From sharing answers in potions class, to defending each other from Malfoy and his gang of gits, they knew that they were destined to be friends. 

Now four years later, that statement remained true. Despite Harry endangering their lives each year, Elle had grown to love the specky boy. He had always been true friend. He had never lied to her. 

She hoped the same could be said for her brother. In a moment of madness Elle decided to question him. She couldn’t wait till they got to Hogwarts. She had to know now. 

In a quick movement, Elle rose to her feet. 

All three of her friends, quickly planted their gazes on her questioningly.

“Elle, where are you going?’ Hermione asked her kindly. Ron just stared, while forcing yet another chocolate frog past his lips. 

“…Oh I have to speak to Theo about something, I think I put something in his trunk by accident’ she stuttered quickly. Harry narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. 

Elle was acting differently. He just knew it. 

She hurriedly slid open the door and closed straight behind her. 

She could see the trio looking at her cautiously but she didn’t care. 

Briskly walking up the train corridor, narrowly missing people - the first years were acting crazy.

High on sugar, Elle presumed.

Approaching the Slytherin carriage, Elle placed her hand on the handle. 

As she began to twist the handle, it wouldn’t budge. 

She tried again. 

She began to get flustered as she could see her peers around her, giving her strange looks. 

As she was about to give up and go back to the trio, she heard a low silky voice mutter

“Do you need some help with that?’ 

As she turned around to see who owned the beautiful voice, she came face to face with the school heartthrob. 

Cedric bloody Diggory.

Giving her a warm smile, he reached down to the handle, gave it a quick twist, and it opened straight away. 

“Those Slytherins eh? They will do anything to keep people out of their compartment, including putting a charm on the door” he whispered with a smirk. 

Elle giggled nervously. 

Cedric looked down on her with a kind smile, “I’m Cedric”.

He stuck his hand out for her to shake, as a kind gesture. 

Elle was staring at him.

She couldn’t help it. His smile could make butter melt. 

He was beautiful.

Entranced by his beauty, Elle was still staring. 

Cedric waved his hand across her face “Hello, is anyone home” he laughed. 

Elle again laughed nervously. 

“i’m Elle” she stuttered.

He chuckled “Well Elle, I guess I’ll be seeing your around then”

She giggled again. 

‘What is wrong with you’ she scolded herself. 

“I’ll make sure of it” he finished. 

He gave her one last smile and then retreated to his compartment. 

Turning back to face the Slytherin compartment, Elle took a deep breath and made her way inside. 

She was immediately greeted with glares.

Glares of those who were angry that someone managed to open the door. 

Glares because she was a Gryffindor.

Spotting Theo she mad her way up the corridor. 

She was immediately bombarded with ‘hello’s’ from Pansy and Daphne.

After saying a quick hello, she turned to Theo.

“Theo” she spoke, “Can I talk to you”. 

Glancing up at his sister, Theo went to stand up.

Malfoy placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“He doesn’t want to talk to you blood traitor”. He hissed 

Theo gave Malfoy a quick glance and forcefully removed his hand from his shoulder. 

“Stop calling her a blood traitor you dick, she’s my sister, if she wants to talk, we’ll talk. It’s not like I need to ask you for permission” Theo muttered. 

Malfoy just glared at them both.

Pulling Elle aside Theo began “What do you need to talk about? It must be quite severe considering you would never set foot in this carriage otherwise” he gave her a concerned look.

“ I just need to ask you something, I don’t believe it, but I just had to be sure” she whispered. 

He looked towards her, the concern visible on his face. 

“Did you have anything to do with what happened at the quidditch world cup?”. She muttered. 

Theo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His own sister questioning him. 

“No? What are you talking about?” He quickly responded. 

Elle looked at him questioningly, ‘it’s just that Malfoy said…” she went on. 

“Malfoy?” He stated. “When did Malfoy talk to you?” He whispered angrily. 

“Just before I got on the train, he was antagonising me, so I insulted him, but he said that you were involved” she whispered back. 

“Don’t listen to anything that dick has to say about me. He loves spreading rumours. He lives for it. Almost more than Pansy. Just know that whatever he says about me isn’t true. Okay?” He gave her a soft smile. 

“Just try to keep your distance from him Elle.” he continued “he isn’t a good bloke, and I don’t want him picking on you because of your friends”. Said Theo, acting like a concerned big brother. 

“Don’t worry T, being within breathing distance of that prick is even too much to handle, you don’t need to fret`’ Elle giggled. 

Theo let out a chuckle. 

He pulled her in for a quick hug and muttered “Is there anything else you want to talk about?” He glanced down at her. 

She simply shook her head and they parted ways. 

“See you later” Elle muttered. 

Theo gave her a quick wave and she made her way back the other side of the carriage. 

Before she could even reach the handle, she heard a shrill voice squeak.

“ Ellllllllllllllllllllllle!!!!!!!! Don’t leave yet we have so much to catch up on, I haven’t seen you ALL summer” Pansy was waving her back over the the compartment, with a huge smile plastered on her face. 

“Let her go, her presence alone makes me ill. I will never know why you would want to associate with a blood traitor like that” she heard a voice say angrily. 

It was Malfoy. 

She then heard a loud slapping noise, as Malfoy yelped “You dick, what was that for?”.

“You insult my sister, You’re going to get a slap” she heard Theo boldly announce.

“Drakey, I like Elle, she’s sweet” spoke pansy sweetly. 

Elle thought to herself. ‘Drakey’. Gross. She would never fully understand how someone could be so in love with someone like Draco Malfoy. 

Of course Pansy wasn’t the nicest of girls but surely she had standards. 

But then again, the boy was a billionaire. And pansy was a gold-digger. 

She understood now.

Ignoring pansy, she turned back to the door handle, twisting it abruptly and made her way back towards her compartment. 

Upon arriving, she noticed the trio were in their uniform.

They must be approaching Hogwarts soon, she thought to herself. 

Sliding open the door, she was met with a handful of hellos, as she entered the compartment. 

Reaching up to her bag, she pulled put her robes. 

“How did everything go with Theo? Did you get what you were looking for” she questioned. 

“Yes. Everything’s fine” she stated. 

Hermione stared at her. 

“…and I remembered that I left that thing I was looking for in my room at home” she stuttered. 

“Oh how suspicious, what was ‘that thing you were looking for’ exactly?” Ron questioned, with a brow raised.

Without missing a beat Elle replied “Tampons”.

Ron gulped nervously. Harry looked at Elle awkwardly, not wanting anymore information. 

Hermione let out a giggle but stifled it with the back of her hand. 

‘You see, I’ve been having a really heavy flow lately and I needed to make sure I had my tampons” Elle continued, knowingly making the boys uncomfortable. 

Harry proceeded to stand up and leave the compartment. 

Ron shoved his fingers in his ears and screamed “…IF I CANT HEAR YOU, YOUR NOT SPEAKING”

Elle giggled to herself with Hermione cackling beside her. Ron still screaming. 

Realising the time, Elle pulled herself out of laughter and made her way towards the bathroom. 

As she went to push open the door, it was pulled open from the inside. 

Yet again she found herself face to face with the chocolate orbs of Cedric Diggory. 

“Nice to see you again, although I thought it would be happening a lot later”. He smiled. 

Elle giggled nervously. Mentally facepalming.

Plucking up some courage Elle stuttered ‘Twice in one day Mr Diggory, I think this is becoming a regular thing”.

‘where did that come from’ she thought to herself. 

‘Is that so?’ Smirking at Elle, he moved closer. ‘For my sake, I hope that’s true” He gave her a cheeky wink and then walked away. 

Did THE Cedric Diggory just wink at her? 

She watched him walk down the carriage. 

Smirking to herself, Elle walked into the bathroom. 

She looked slowly into the mirror, smiled and muttered. 

‘This is going to be a fun year at Hogwarts”.

[ellohcee]

Okay let’s try this again long AU (The Mad Ones) under the cut (not mine these were sent in by @jubilantscribbler / @jubilantwriter )

yeah samE i said that about hadestown too fkldsf anYWAY im sending this in multiple asks so that you can hide it under a readmore okayy here i GOO- SO. It starts with David driving away from the city and heading out to somewhere - maybe to see the ocean, maybe to go hiking in the mountains, maybe to take a trek in the great plains, maybe to venture out into the countryside - he's not sure yet, but he's hyping himself as he drives and drives, just watching the city fly by. (1)

BUT. He blinks and he's still in the city. Even worse, he's still in his mom's driveway, sitting in a car with the key still in his hand, and his foot is still firmly on the brake. He blinks and feels crushed under the fact that he's not going away to go hiking forever in nature, but instead, he's supposed to be getting ready for college because he just graduated, and just as he's about to start crying, he hears Jasper speak up like, "Damn, and here I thought you wouldn't choke." (2)

David turns and sees his best friend, his childhood friend, sitting in the passenger seat and grinning like he always does, and David nearly cracks and whispers, "What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here." And Jasper just shrugs and rolls his eyes like, "Sure, but I'm here anyways." And David's like, "You're not real, I'm sitting alone i-in a car-" and Jasper's like, "Yeah, my car. Alone. What are *you* doing?" (3)

GHHH what a cold open, David in his happy daydream and suddenly snapping back to a cold terrible reality. AHH I ALREADY LOVEHATE IT.

(4) And David's sputtering and trying to convince himself and Jasper that David's supposed to be getting ready for college, and he just needed a moment, he's stressed, he knows what he wants, stop questioning him, stop doubting him, this is what he's supposed to do, this is what he needs to do, so leave him alone like he's supposed to be, and suddenly there's too many thoughts, too many memories happening at once- and then Jasper snaps him out of it for just a minute.

(5) Jasper calms him down by reminding him of the one time he managed David to skip school, and it's enough for David to just relive the moment with Jasper vividly, and he remembers feeling that freedom, of being happy and alive and enjoying the moment with Jasper. It's all to calm David down and getting him to cheer up as David remembers that good time and reminding him of what he really wants, and David gets lost in the memory until reality breaks the memory and he's stuck in the present.

(6) Now with his "imaginary" Jasper, as Jasper calls himself, and him back in the car, David remembers that he lost something irreplaceable and can't get over it, and now he's sitting in Jasper's car without Jasper with his future looming over him. But Jasper gently nudges him and reminds him to remember why he's in the car in the first place, and why he has the keys in his hands in the first place. Because he had a plan, and maybe all it takes is a little bit of remembering.

This is already so awful, they had plans together AAHFHHD. But Jasp is always so good at calming David down, bringing him back. As much as I hate that Jasper’s dead this is one of my favorite kinds of setups. Like someone’s heartbroken and it’s kind of a “but how can I go on without you?” feeling and it’s like “You can, you HAVE to.”

(7) Jasper puts the key in the ignition for David and has David go through his memories of his senior year. David remembers Jasper, when he was still alive and bright and in the midst of his rebellious streak, and Jasper laughs as David chastises him for all those times he skipped class and nearly dragged David along with him. But David wanted to go with him. They had dreams - David had dreams that only Jasper knew, and as the end of the crept closer he grew more and more anxious.

(8) David isn't at odds with him mom, but his mom wants the best for him, even if it means pushing him towards a future he doesn't really want, but is stable and ensures he'll live an okay life. Gwen is the voice of reason in their friend group, always telling them off for having their delusions of grandeur, especially Jasper as he seems to lead David into living life based on impulses. He cares about them both tho, and wants to take their advice to heart... when it doesn't stress him out.

(9??) Jasper's the only one who really gets David, and he encourages David at every chance he gets which reveals David's deep seated love for nature, and how he yearns to get out of the city, and not be trapped by gray walls and mediocrity and studying a major he doesn't care for and living paycheck by paycheck, and also he really needs to get his license because he can't depend on everyone all the time or else he'll never truly be independent.

I love all this dynamic it’s so fitting, so perfect. Especially Gwen, she’s so down to earth and she has to be the one with her head on and thinking logically. So fitting. But David and Jasper just wanna be FREE AND IN LOVE DAMNIT FUCK

(10) Despite his internal conflicts, he still applies to colleges and even manages to get into the same one as Jasper, with mixed feelings. They end up touring the college together and partake in a party that leads to David exploding and saying that Jasper doesn't *do* college, Jasper is wild and free and exciting and takes them on roadtrips and is amazing and incredible and doesn't trap himself in the status quo and WOW he's drunk, no he's not, stop laughing, Jasper!

bWABAAHAHA FUCK YOU TUMBLR. (11) Jasper convinces David to recite one of David's favorite passages from his favorite book (because the book is important in the musical but let's pretend it's about the mystique of the wilderness and the freedom of exploration and freedom), and David recites and hypes them both up because of how excitedly he recites it with passion, and Jasper suggests that they do it, that they run off together and explore and Be the Mad Ones and Live Free and Wild.

(12) Jasper gets more and more excited by the aspect of just... going on the road, just the two of them, doing whatever the hell they want without anyone telling them what to do. And David's trying to be like, "Okay but we need to be prepared and stuff-!" but he's getting more and more hyped by it, and they both start getting excited- up until Jasper gets into his car and begs David to get in. And David freezes and panics and realizes he's... not ready to run yet.

Not crying bc they wanted to run off together NOT ME. BUT LIKE. YOU KINDA DO NEED TO GRAB SOME ShIT FOR THE ROAD JASP WHAT DO YOU HAVE WITH YOU??? AN EXTRA HOODIE AND SOME CRAP IN YOUR CAR? COME ON. Give him a little time you can take off in a few days just don’t tell people about your plans to elope???

(13) Jasper gets upset because they need to leave now before someone stops, but David feels unprepared and they argue and snap and- the memory breaks, and David's facing off imaginary?Jasper and blaming him and saying that Jasper never plans anything and it would have gotten them no where, and Jasper blames him back saying that David put the breaks on, and they keep blaming each other until Jasper yells that if they'd just left that night, he wouldn't be fucking DEAD!

nnoonOIFIDH wHy they figting WJHY ARE THEY FIGHTING I HATE IT. DON’T SAY THAT SHIT JASPER. What’s ten times worse is that this is David’s projection of Jasper therefore his own thoughts so he’s blaming himself through Jasper I hate it???

(14) David storms away from Jasper in tears as Jasper tries to call back to David and apologize, but David just runs to his room and locks himself in there and inevitably buries himself in more memories, but none with Jasper in it. He remembers that after their fight at the party, he went to his other best friend's house - Gwen. She asks about the college visit, and David, still running off his anger fumes, says that maybe college isn't for him, and he should do something else.

(15) Gwen tries to talk some sense into him, telling him that life isn't about always about having fun, that college is the way to go or else they'll NEVER achieve their dreams, and David snaps back that maybe he doesn't NEED college to achieve his dreams, and Gwen yells that real life isn't some fucking book, and if he thinks that's how life works, then he needs to get his head out of the fucking clouds and look around them.

(16) Life isn't like it was back then, it's labor and capitalism, and it's a fucking struggle, but that's the hand they were dealt, and they have to live with what they got. She gets upset and cries because she doesn't want to live like everyday sucks, but that's how it is, and she doesn't get to dream like David does, because she has to work harder to even begin to carve out a dream like David's. She implores him for once to stop trying to live ideally, but to live realistically.

WHY IS EVERYONE FIGHITNG STOP IT

(17) He ends up leaving and going back to his mom's, where his mom worries about her son and the state of his being, and tries to get him to open up to her, and it takes a while, but after some coaxing and cookies, and he opens and tells him about his argument with Jasper and Gwen. She's disappointed that David feels that way about college, but suggests that he finds a compromise - one that's realistic, but still gives him what he wants. He weakly agrees to her because he's tired of fighting.

(18) David goes to bed, only to wake to the sound of a phone ringing. His heart leaps, and David's stuck between the past and present, unsure of where he is. As he stares at his phone, Jasper sits down next to him and suggests he pick it up. It's then that David realizes that he's in the present, but still stuck in the past. Instead of living in the present, he suggests that he doesn't pick up the phone, because like, that'd mean like it never happened. Which means that Jasper... is alive.

David needs THERAPY it sounds like he’s having some serious issues with reality and stress and loss please he needs hterapy hahddha

(19) Jasper plays along and is like, "Okay, if I'm alive now, then we're doing senior year *my way*." So they craft an amazing, fun, incredible senior year filled with laughter and highs and love, and David gets to experience a year with Jasper by his side, and maybe he finally confesses, and maybe they go on a million roadtrips, and he's happy, he's so happy because Jasper's here, and he's alive, and- the phone rings. And the fantasy breaks, and he's in the past again. And he picks up.

FHDShHF THEY COULD’VE HAD IT ALL THEY COULD’VE BEEN SO STUPID IN LOVE TOGETHER

(20) Jasper's mom was the one who called him to tell him that Jasper had died. He'd been crossing the street to return a book - the book he read for David, because it was his favorite book - to the library, and didn't see the car in time. David's world collapses around him, and all he can remember is that night at the party, and why didn't he say yes, why did he say no, and it crushes him as he remembers it over and over again, and he realizes that he can't remember the rest of senior year.

SOBBING HE READ DAVID”S BOOK

(21:) For once, Jasper isn't there to snap him out of it. David has to snap himself out of it, and he digs through his memories of that horrible senior year and remembers the one thing that broke him out of his depressed stupor - Gwen. Gwen was dropping him off at the DMV to take his driving test (again). She's holding a familiar book, and she's trying to smile and talk to him while he's stuck in his head, and finally her voice gets through to him when she suggests something.

(22) While they're waiting for his turn, she says that she read the book he loves, and she kinda gets it now, wanting to explore and see the world, and she suggests that they take a roadtrip together before college, and they can go anywhere, and be anywhere, and it'll just be them two, and he won't have to worry about anything because she'll take care of things for him, and he can just... enjoy. And she smiles, desperate but hopeful, because she wants to see him smile again. But he doesn't.

(23) It breaks him out of his stupor, but only because her words make it sound like it's what he wants (what does he want?), but it's not what he wants, and he remembers Jasper's words of how someone's always gonna come along and try to assume they know what he wants, instead of letting him decide for himself. Gwen's doing it here, even if it's in good faith, he knows this isn't what he wants. He doesn't answer, and she looks heartbroken. Before he can get a word out, his # is called.

SOBBING SHE READ DAVID’S BOOK. SHE’s TRYING GOD SHE’s TRYING BUT THAT WAS THEIR THING THE ROADTRIP

(24) She tells him to go take his test and wishes him good luck. He gets in the car and starts his driving test, stressed out and mind a mess. Suddenly it's Jasper in the passenger seat pretending to be the DMV lady and telling him to listen to him, and that he can help David. He wants Jasper to go away, but suddenly it's his mom, telling him to be careful and slow down, and he needs to take less risks and stay in his lane, where he needs to be. Jasper's voice grows frantic and then it's Gwen.

(25??) Gwen is telling him to follow her instructions, and she can keep him on track and safe, so just keep going straight and drive. David argues that he doesn't want to be safe, and Jasper asks if he wants to take a risk instead. His mom says that risk is fine, if he prepares for it and plans for it. David says he doesn't want to plan for once, and Jasper gently tells him that he can take whatever path he wants as long as it feels right to him, before Gwen says that they need to move on.

Therapy therapy therapy please DAvid I’m beGGING YOU you have so much shit in your head babe please. Fighting to figure out what he wants vs what everyone else wants it’s too much

(26) She begs to him to go with her, even if it's hard, they need to make the right choice. David argues with himself, tries to figure out what he wants as everyone talks over his thoughts and words, his mom begging him to slow down, Jasper begging him to remember, and Gwen begging him to go, before David snaps and tells everyone to listen to him. Finally, he tells them what he wants. He never wanted to go to college, never wanted stay, never wanted to run away. But he wanted to go out and live.

(27) He wants to drive with no clear destination, drive to see and feel and live and nothing else, just by himself. Even if, even if he wishes... he wishes that Jasper was with him. But he knows that he's alone in Jasper's car, talking to himself and remembering, and he hears Jasper say to remember, his mom saying she'll let him go, and Gwen saying she'll step back. And David tells himself to look ahead, don't stop, and don't look back in the rearview mirror. He blinks, and it's just Jasper.

SOBBING

(28) It's just Jasper and David, sitting in Jasper's car in his mom's driveway. Jasper smiles, and reminds David that he passed. He's free. He can leave now. David cries and says that his mom will hate him, and Jasper shakes his head. He worries about Gwen, and Jasper says she'll understand. Jasper encourages him to be wild and free and mad and happy, and to NOT crash his car or he WILL haunt him, smiling through his tears as David reaches for him.

(30) David sobs. "I never got to say goodbye." Jasper takes a deep breath, looking away for a moment before turning back to David with a broken smile. "Sometimes you don't get to say goodbye." "...I miss you." "...I know. Total bummer, right?" David grabs onto Jasper and hugs him tight and begs, "Can't we stay like this?" And Jasper clings to him and says, "You know we can't." "Just for a little longer?" and after a moment of silence, Jasper asks with a soft cry, "What do you want, Davey?"

(FIN) David finally says that he wants to feel the wind in his hair with the windows down, the crunch of dirt under his boots, the smell of the pines, of living just to live. Jasper pulls away with a smile and reminds David that he'll live in David's wants and actions now that he's gone, and when David blinks, Jasper is finally gone. And he's finally moved on. And David finally puts the key into the ignition and starts the car. And he drives away.

NNNGNNDJ I HATE THIS BUT I LOVE IT. I hate every time you kill Jasper and make me love it. My poor boys I’m sO SAD FOR THEM> THEY HAD PLANS THEY WERE IN LOVE THEY WERE GOING TO DO ALL THE SHIT THEY WANTED. Jasper didn’t even get to see SENIOR YEAR IT’s NOT FAIRhFH And poor David just like BLANKED OUT that year of his life and WHO COULD BLAME HIM

When I do listen to this I’m going to have to prepare myself hardcore because I’m going to be a fucking wreck mess especially now that it’s firmly attached to Jaspvid in my head UHHHHH HTHANK YOU

[thecreelhouse]

Kill the Lights // Chapter 15

Steve Harrington x Original Female Character

Read chapter 14 here!

Summary: After Violet- formally 003, a telekinetic, electrokinetic, and clairvoyant 19 year old- loses her first family, her first love, nothing is the same. She finds herself taken in by Hopper and El, struggling to find her footing and meaning to keep fighting. The Party, especially Steve Harrington, try to show her where her strengths have been hiding all along, and that no one has to fight their battles alone. Sometimes you don’t need to be rescued, but someone’s love and support while you rescue yourself sure doesn’t hurt.

Word count: 3,001

Content warnings: angst, healing, mourning, PTSD, for the most part though comfort and fluff

Author’s note: I’m already teary getting ready to post this lol. Here we are, the last chapter of this fic! Wow! Thank you thank you thank youuuuuu if you’ve read this, reblogged and liked it, said anything nice about it- y’all giving some of your time out of your day to read this has meant so much more than I could ever express into words. This was a silly daydream that kept me occupied the past year, and being able to form it into words where others could enjoy it too.... wow. Wow?? Wow. I’ll be posting the masterlist soon, which will also include the playlist I had for writing and daydreaming this whole thing up lol. Chapter title is from ‘light on’ by Maggie rogers. Okay. I’m done rambling. Depending on how season 4 ends up, maybe eventually there will be a sequel to this fic. For now, please enjoy the ending. Grab tissues. I love y’all.

(Also huuuuuuuuge thanks to @harringtown for hyping up this fic since day one, and loving Violet as much as I do, if not more. I appreciate you and your support pal 🥺💜)

Chapter 15: Light On

Time is thought to heal all wounds. Time is supposed to be forgiving, understanding, as you heal from a loss.

For Violet, though, it felt like a lie at first. Time didn’t heal shit, wasn’t forgiving, couldn’t understand, as she grieved over losing the one, true parental figure she ever trusted in her life. She grieved for herself, for El, who had a much closer bond with Hopper. Most of all, for Joyce, who had not only a bond that strengthened with trauma and time, but history.

Seconds passed into minutes, and they passed into days, weeks, months, and time still couldn’t heal the emptiness left behind when Hopper died. Violet stayed up some nights, comforting El when she couldn’t sleep, when the trauma of the battle kept her awake. Other nights, Violet felt herself fall back into the hole she clawed her way out of earlier that year. It was dark, cold, isolated, and sickeningly enough, it felt like home... and Violet sure was desperate to feel that again.

Not much could be saved after rummaging through the cabin’s remains. Some old boxes that belonged to Hopper, and some things that belonged to El and Violet out of pure luck. Their home was a ghost now. Even if still intact, it would only be a ghost and nothing more without Hopper around. Home isn’t a place, but who you feel safe with. Violet knew that wasn’t here in these woods anymore.

In time, Violet’s powers were replenished, but El still struggled, lost without hers. Sometimes she let guilt overcome her, feeling awful she couldn’t use her powers to check, just to make sure. Make sure, what? Their dad was still alive? There was never a body recovered from the ruins of Starcourt, nor from the hell that lied underneath. Joyce never saw what actually happened to Hopper- just assumed he was taken out in the blast. El wanted more than anything to just check, hoping they were all wrong, that he was somewhere, anywhere, alive.

When Violet wasn’t shutting herself away- or rather, when Steve refused to let her slip away any further, after weeks of not seeing her- she practiced her hardest, trying to access the void like El once could. If she could levitate for even a second during the battle, she could most certainly learn how to control her powers for other means as well.

At first, it was unsuccessful, but in time, Violet began seeing flashes of present moments, along with future moments, just like she did before everything went down at Starcourt. Still, though, they moved too quickly for her to grasp onto anything. When the visions came, Steve, the kids, anyone who knew her, would drop what they were doing in an instant to write down anything she could remember. Usually, she couldn’t grasp much more than a few, vague details.

Freezing cold, snow, ice, dark- before the rest slipped away from her. Other times, she saw flashes of the Upside-Down, and only recognized it from the times she was forced there during her time in the lab. Still, neither made sense, and until she could catch onto more details, she felt it was useless. Violet struggled terribly with feeling like she could have a purpose in the world anymore. Since she failed to protect El, and couldn’t bring back Billy from the dead, she felt absolutely useless. Steve, on the other hand, tried his hardest every damn day to reassure her otherwise.

Steve wanted Violet to see so badly what he and the others saw in her. She was worth so much more than her powers. She wasn’t just a weapon like they raised her to be in the lab, nor was she only a tool to be used in times of crisis and need for good. She was worth so much more beyond that. Violet deserved to feel at home, with the people she loved, under whatever roof she lived under, and within her own skin. There were times she wanted to hide away, relapse with self harm, push everyone she loved away- but she didn’t. Even if it was because Steve made sure she didn’t at first, she always followed through to hanging on, all on her own. She knew she was slipping away, back into the dark place she was before she had found this family, but she also didn’t want to go back.

See, among all of the hurt the summer brought her, Violet definitely wanted to still live. She had lived, really, truly lived, after befriending Steve, after taking El under her wing, getting better for them, for the rest of the Party. After losing family again, she swore she’d never slip away completely. She didn’t want to just exist. She wanted to live.

Everyone was healing, but slowly, painfully. To them, in the present moment, it didn’t feel like progress at all. Over time, the longer the nightmarish memories faded into just that, memories, life began to get just a little easier. A little less painful. It didn’t completely erase what happened, and it would never go away. But maybe, just maybe, they were growing forward this whole time.

It was a cooler, but still warm night at the beginning of September 1985, when the Party was “camping out” in Steve’s backyard. It was the last time they’d all be together, before the Byers, El, and Violet would be moving away. The trees were beginning to change colors, fading in waves of autumn shades.

After the battle, Violet either spent time there or eventually at the Byers’ house, where her and El moved in. Nowadays, the Party seemed to have regular- almost nightly- sleepovers at the Harrington house. Everyone was afraid to be alone as nightmares plagued them any time they slept. Time awake was time spent with one another, afraid of what would happen if someone else was taken way too soon. Time was too precious to this group these days.

Violet eventually met Steve’s parents, like, actually met them, more than just passing glances, and was less than thrilled to put names and rotten attitudes to faces. They weren’t very fond of Violet either- with her “rebellious” style, enough emotional baggage to last a lifetime, and a past they knew very little about- but glad Steve had some reason, even if it was a girl he was dating, to stay out of their hair. They wanted nothing to do with the healing process after Starcourt burned to the ground, even without knowing all of the gruesome details of what their own son endured. It infuriated Violet, knowing they still had a part of their family, and only continued to take advantage of that fact, like life wasn’t fragile.

Violet continued to love Steve with her whole heart, give and show love where she could, where his parents refused to. Where Violet couldn’t sleep, she was able to comfort Steve after nightmares. When something triggered a fight-or-flight response in him- a car door slamming too hard, a sound effect in a movie too loud- Violet did what he had always done for her, helped him become and stay grounded.

That September night, as they all were sitting around a small fire, roasting marshmallows for s’mores, it happened- someone a few yards over began setting off small fireworks in the neighborhood. Must’ve found some leftover ones from the summer, or something. No other real reason why. A harmless move, but unknowingly snapped something in Steve’s mind.

Steve immediately froze up at the first bang! that went off, and Violet instantly noticed, grabbing his hands, then gently grabbing his face, turning it towards her.

“It’s okay, love.” She whispered, thumb gently caressing his cheek. Steve’s eyes focused on Violet’s, trying his hardest to tune out the memories creeping back. The Mind Flayer, the whole battle, watching Billy die-

“What can you see around you?” She asked softly, pushing his hair from his eyes. Steve shut his eyes for a moment, before taking a deep, shaky breath, then opening them once more. His face softened at the sight of the girl he loved.

“You.” He said right away to her, then looked up to the sky. “The moon. The stars. Those are your favorite things in the world.”

Violet smiled softly at the detail he added, nodding. “They are, love. What else?”

Steve glanced back down, now towards the kids crowded around the fire pit, who weren’t really kids anymore. Time may not have healed them much, but sure had no problem leading them into getting much older. Trauma definitely aided in the aging process, too, but through and through, they were still so young, and doing their best to enjoy that every moment they could.

“A bunch of goofballs, hogging all the marshmallows.” He said, laughing, as they had all given up actually roasting them, and just shoving them in their mouths instead.

“Hey! You invited us!” Lucas scoffed, pointing to Steve, and Mike nodded, adding, “and we bought the marshmallows! No law saying you have to share.”

“Doesn’t mean you should completely avoid sharing! Where’s your manners?” Steve joked back, easing back into reality. Violet sighed quietly, relieved. She moved her arms back around his waist as they cuddled under a blanket- the one Joyce gave Violet earlier that year, after her major mental breakdown. A major turning point in Violet’s life and road of recovery. The worn blanket was one of the few, prized possessions she salvaged among the debris of the cabin. Her literal security blanket.

“Steve’s got a point, you guys don’t need all of that sugar, anyway. You’re gonna be up for the next ten years with all that in your system.” Robin added, glaring at the boys in disgust, who continued to only inhale the sugary sweets. Max and El nodded, agreeing with her.

“See! You two can’t even share with your girlfriends? Now that’s just wrong. And I have to suffer in a long distance relationship? This is absolutely unfair.” Dustin chimed in on the verbal attack. All the kids burst into multiple arguments, adding to the comic relief. So maybe they’ve grown a lot since the battle, but moments like this just reminded Violet how they were still just kids. They deserved peace, an easy year for once. An easy rest of their days, for as long as possible.

As they continued, now counting out loud how many marshmallows they’ve each had, Steve ducked his head down closer to Violet, who noticed and turned to face him.

“Hm?” Violet hummed, tilting her head a bit.

“Thank you, for helping me earlier.” Steve whispered.

“I only learned from the best, y’know.” Violet smirked up at her boyfriend, and he blushed.

“Do you really have to move? There’s plenty of room for you here. My parents clearly don’t give a shit about anything that involves me... so...”

“Steve, you know I have to go. I can’t leave El. We’re all each other has right now.”

Steve frowned a bit at her words. “That’s not totally true. You two have me, the rest of the kids, Robin-“

“I know. I know, I just think she needs some normalcy, and maybe we’ll find that when we leave Hawkins for a little while. We could both use some fresh air away from here. It’s not forever, I promise.” Violet explained, resting her head on his shoulder. Steve sighed, understanding what she meant, but still bummed out.

“It’s gonna suck without you here. We’re all gonna miss you and El a lot.” He whispered, staring back at the kids, who moved past the marshmallow meltdown, and were cracking jokes around the fire. Robin just rolled her eyes at every terrible punchline, glancing over towards Violet and Steve, eyes sad for her best friend. She knew Steve would be taking this hard, especially when they actually left by the morning.

“We’ll visit, as much as we can.” She replied. “I’m even going to look for a car, with the money I saved this summer. So I’ll be dragging El along, safely, for visits to see you all.”

Violet picked her head back up, gently kissing Steve’s jawline before speaking up again. “This is gonna work. You and I, I mean.”

“Oh, it has to. I refuse to let Dustin’s long distance relationship with Suzie outlast you and I.” Steve joked, and a giggle rose out of Violet. Steve wrapped his arm around her tighter, pulling her closer to him, wishing that was more than enough to keep her here with him.

The night rolled on, and eventually the kids began to retreat to the tents they pitched in the yard earlier that day. Robin gave up on sleeping outside, saying goodnight and heading back inside to crash on the couch. Violet and Steve refused to sleep, though, knowing this was the last night they’d have together for awhile. The quiet settled among them in the air, and Violet embraced how easily she fell into the peace. She wanted nothing more than to stay here, in this moment, in Hawkins. It was unfolding into one of those nights that she loved to imagine saving for a rainy day. She’d be revisiting this memory as much as possible once they move away.

“C’mere, I want to show you something,” Violet whispered, getting up onto her feet and pulling Steve up with her. She glanced around to the neighboring houses, checking to see if anyone was awake and looking that shouldn’t be. She crept up to the side of Steve’s house, with him closely following behind.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked cautiously, brow raised. Violet smiled up at him when the coast was clear.

“You trust me?”

“Was that not clear this whole summer?” Steve chuckled. Violet smiled, blushing and nudging his shoulder with her palm. “Yes, of course I trust you.”

“Hold on to my hands, tight, okay?”

Violet’s nose began bleeding, and Steve’s eyes grew wide, realizing what she was up to.

Slowly, an unseen force- Violet’s powers, her strength- began to tug at both her and Steve, gently, steadily lifting the two of them off of the ground. Like magic, like a dream, they floated, they levitated, like the night Violet did it out of pure adrenaline during the battle. But now, she was as calm as Steve had seen her since that night. A smile crept up on her face as she kept her hold on Steve’s hands, though his grip was certainly tighter than hers.

They continued to rise, above the trees surrounding his house, and to the roof, where Violet gently landed their feet.

“I’ve been practicing.” Violet simply said, as if it was a basic skill, still holding onto Steve. His jaw still hung open, floored and impressed by what his favorite human could do. Even after all this time, he was still in awe any time Violet used her powers. Even a little intimidated still by the power she held. He still stood by what he said, that it didn’t define her worth, but god damn he couldn’t lie how cool it was. How incredible Violet was.

“You’re too damn cool for me.” Steve said, glancing over the edge of the house, then back up to Violet, afraid of the height they were at. Violet sat closer to him, getting cozy on the most flat part of the roof.

“King Steve would have nothin’ on me, huh?” Violet laughed, nudging Steve’s shoulder. He shook his head as he laughed.

“You’d even give that asshole a run for his money.” Steve said jokingly about his past persona. “I’m glad you never met me back then.”

Violet hummed gently before responding. “I think I would have seen the real you regardless. You’re a genuinely good person, Steve. That’s hard to cover up, even behind a dickbag attitude.”

Steve gently laughed again, and Violet wished she could hear it forever, record it, take it with her everywhere she went. It was one of her favourite sounds in the world.

“Meeting you definitely helped me grow even more, you know.” He said, voice still soft but serious now. Violet blushed and glanced away for a second, biting her lip.

“I can say the same about meeting you.” She said, kissing his cheek. “I like who we’ve grown into so far.”

The couple rested back on the roof, getting a clear view of the night sky, glowing brightly with a full moon and all the stars surrounding it. Violet’s pain was constant, but it was the last thing on her mind in this moment. She knew Amy and Hopper both would never want her to dwell on the sadness. To live in mourning. It’s no way to live. She knew that well now.

“Can I ask for one more favor?” Steve broke the silence, smirking over at Violet.

“I dunno, Harrington. You’re getting pretty needy tonight.” Violet teased, glancing over at her boyfriend.

The way the moon’s light lit up his face melted her heart into a puddle. She wanted to stay in Hawkins, she would kill to stay in this moment forever. She felt safest under a night sky, next to the boy she fell in love with months ago. This boy, who was once terrified of Violet and her powers, who saw past her walls, who continued to uplift and support her, remind her that she was worth the space she took up. She never wanted to leave Steve’s side, but knew it had to happen to continue healing.

“Kill the lights, for old time’s sake?” Steve whispered as he looked at Violet, and she rolled her eyes, laughing.

“Sure, love.” And with an outstretched hand, she forced the street lamps on his block to shut off. Any outdoor lights nearby powered down, too. Jokingly she whispered, “you’re lucky I love you, Steve Harrington.”

“I’m the luckiest son of a bitch in the world to be loved by you, Violet Hopper.”

[tillidontneedfantasy]

‘Fine Line’ - Harry Styles REVIEW: Finding His Balance

“When I played it for the label, I told them, ‘This is the first single. It’s two minutes, thirty-five. You’re welcome,’” Harry Styles recalls when discussing “Lights Up” in a track-by-track breakdown of his second solo studio effort, Fine Line, with Rolling Stone writer Rob Sheffield. Thank you, indeed. “Lights Up” was an excellent first single choice for a number of reasons, now all the more clear in the context of the album. Though oddly structured and not particularly radio-friendly, it’s interesting, catchy, short and to the point: as much as you try to hide who you are, once the lights are up, those watching will know, so you might as well shine; but do you know?

Just as importantly, does Harry? Fine Line is a vague exploration of the self, both personally and musically, filled with cryptic platitudes and slick guitar riffs. However, the one aspect of himself Styles seems to be most acquainted with, and thus most comfortable sharing, is the “dark running through” his heart that cannot be extinguished by all the lights; in fact, it is amplified. Perhaps Styles finds it difficult to be honest in his relationships, but Fine Line is sprinkled with dark confessions, most notably in a series in the middle of the album (immediately following “Lights Up”): “I can tell that you are at your best / I’m selfish so I’m hating it” in “Cherry,” a track of spewing bitter jealousy; “There’s no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands” in “Falling,” a heart-wrenching ballad for the books; “I’m just an arrogant son of a bitch / who can’t admit when he’s sorry,” in the pleasant-sounding yet morose ditty “To Be So Lonely.”

Those confessionals are the strongest demonstrations of Styles’s songwriting potential, and are the meat and bones of Fine Line’s takeaway: losing someone you once loved can cause you to almost lose yourself. Hopefully, you find yourself along the road to healing; but Styles often leaves the listener wondering if he really does know who he is now or not. What we do know is two things: 1) The end of his last relationship caused a lot of pain and introspection and 2) The man likes to have sex. Understandable points. Good equation for a successful album.

BEST TRACK: “Fine Line”

The title track and closer, “Fine Line” immediately invokes emotion as soon as it begins, and it only intensifies throughout its six-minute and eighteen-second duration. As the song moves along, new elements are subtly and meticulously added, layered in with his low and almost careful singing in a way that sounds like nature. Around four minutes in, the song really starts to come alive, the instrumentation building and building towards an outro that reaches a crescendo at Styles’s final “we’ll be alright,” and then perfectly finishes with high-pitch vocal notes that feel like freedom before it drifts out with a few light piano notes. While its message about maintaining balance on the fine line between the extremes of love resonates, the real victory of this song is its ability to move you with just the music. Despite its length, it always feels like it ends too soon.

WEAKEST TRACK: “Golden”

While a pleasant-sounding opener and a good tone-setter for the rest of the record sonically, “Golden” could have been cut in half, with about twenty fewer repetitions of the title, and used as more of brief introduction or interlude instead. In contrast to the closer, “Fine Line,” which is the longest song on the album and includes just as much- if not more- repetitions of its title, it serves a purpose in that song, whereas in “Golden” it feels like filler. This monotonous track is the most prominent example of how often Styles’s lyrics seem to be lacking; he surely has the ability to improve, he just needs to access it.

THE IN-BETWEENS

Luckily for Styles, the production on this album is so outrageously good that it’s enough to keep you interested throughout. “She,” a six-minute psychedelic rock song is an epic trip (I mean, Styles’s guitarist, Mitch Rowland, wrote it on mushrooms, go figure) into a daydream with the perfect woman who doesn’t exist. “Canyon Moon” is a road-trip-ready, light, feel-good song where his musical influences are rather apparent; Styles cites Joni Mitchell and Crosby, Stills, and Nash as his muses, and another idol of his, Steve Nicks, claims it to be her favorite track on the record, a lovely feat. The pre-released singles “Lights Up,” “Watermelon Sugar,” and “Adore You” are sincerely all pop perfection, more mature and refined from his 1D days. The most experimental track, “Treat People With Kindness,” is interesting but falls short for a song that feels like years in the making, considering it has been a phrase Styles and his fans have claimed for the past few years. Although it is clear that Styles’s intention with the song was to spread a positive message which focuses on being kind and not taking life too seriously (though he proclaims that “if our friends all pass away / it’s okay,” and…I don’t know, is it really okay, Harry?!?) it feels like he could have done more with it. One particularly good line is towards the end of the track when he sings, “all we ever want is automatic all the time,” and perhaps he could’ve taken his own advice and given a song with such a grand title a bit more effort.

BEST PROSPECTIVE SINGLE: “Falling”

A close second to “Fine Line,” “Falling” is one of the strongest in Styles’s solo discography and more impressive considering he wrote it in about twenty minutes in a towel. In this beautiful ballad, Styles opens his heart, grabbing the listener’s in the process. “What am I now? / What if I’m someone I don’t want around?” he sings in a panic. This moment of self-reflection after the end of a relationship truly settles in as reality and you can no longer look away from your mistakes is painfully relatable. This track is the most honest of the bunch, and thus feels necessary. With all the previously mentioned pop jams already aptly released as singles, “Falling” feels like the wisest choice going forward to keep the momentum; listeners love a man openly grieving a heartbreak and taking responsibility for his actions (even cheating, I suppose, as is mildly implied in the first verse…I mean, this is your mans? Good thing his regret sounds sincere at least), and the unbelievable tone of his voice when he belts the last word of the bridge, “and I get the feeling that you’ll never need me again” is just the icing on the cake.

                                                                   ***

It is always a difficult task for a former group member to come into their own as a solo artist, and very few have done so with the admiration and reverence that Styles has accrued thus far. With his self-titled debut solo record in 2017, Styles made it clear, as most group-departing members do, that he had a sound different from that of his claim to fame in One Direction. His seriousness as a musician was now established through the positive reception of his debut, and thus his success allowed him to have a little more fun on Fine Line. It also allowed him to get a little more candid and authentic, knowing that the world has accepted him with open arms and has been begging for more. Styles mostly delivers with Fine Line, but in some ways it feels unfinished. The musical production is intriguing and exciting, and by far the best thing about this album, but is still somewhere between a regeneration of classic inspirations and a sound unique to Styles himself; all he needs is a little more time to find his own signature style (no pun intended) rather than just creating a conglomerate of musical elements from his influences and signing his name. But in the meantime, the music still holds up. The real conundrum is the lyrics, which are well and fine, but do not effectively communicate the truth hiding behind the sentiments yet give you just enough to let him get away with it. If he had given us just a bit more, Fine Line could have been a true triumph. However, this is only his second album, and being a confessional songwriting superstar while still preserving your right to privacy is, well, a fine line to walk (I had to, I’m sorry!), but I’m sure he’ll find his balance in no time. Grade: 3.5/5

DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: I was a very casual One Direction fan during their peak of fame. I think Midnight Memories is a great pop album and I stand by that. I’ve always been more of a Niall girl, but I have never been able to completely resist Harry’s charisma; I’m only human. I listened to his debut album in 2017 maybe twice, three times at most, and just thought it was fine, but not particularly impressive. But since then it’s been impossible to deny his talent and star power. I was very intrigued by “Lights Up,” and with every single release I had found myself enjoying the songs more than I wanted to admit. I think Fine Line is a really great album. Sonically, it is in my exact sweet spot of the kind of music I absolutely love, so I was doomed to like it from the start. What stopped me from giving it a grade of 4 or higher though was that even with multiple listens I struggle to understand what the hell this guy is trying to say in his music. Many times, it takes me reading what die-hard stans say to understand what message he’s trying to send. Unfortunately, that is a failure to me. I know plenty of people love cryptic and ambiguous lyrics or poetry, but as a consumer, I want to be able to understand the story or the message with at least a couple of listens. Of course, lyrics can and should be left up to interpretation, but sometimes I don’t even know what he wants me to interpret! From my perception, this is just a reflection of Harry holding back from truly saying what he wants (with few exceptions, such as “Falling”). I think he is so talented and has so much potential but just needs a little more time unlocking it. I’m excited to see what he does in the future.

[antman-56]

The Long Night Pt. 22

BEEP BEEP BEEP

That sound was starting to get annoying but the only good thing about it was it telling the whole world that Taiyang was still alive. Raven was seating next to him, reading aloud and drinking tea.

Raven (chuckling) : I’m pretty sure this part would have made you laugh. It’s about a bard that can’t keep it in his pants and Geralt saves him by telling the lord that the bard was kicked in the balls by an ox.

Tai remained motionless. He had been for almost a month. Their were times he made a sound of discomfort or joy and one time he opened his eyes, blinked and then passed out again. 

Nurse : Um Miss Branwen, visiting hours end in 10 minutes. But if you like we can let you stay for half an hour more.

Raven : The 10 is fine, thank you.

Raven went back to reading. As the nurse left she heard her say that the kid was lucky to have such a caring girlfriend. 

If only they knew the truth.

Raven got up from her seat and gave Tai a kiss on his forehead.

Raven (whispering) : Wake up soon. I love you.

Raven left the medical wing and was now on her way to the dorm. She was thinking about the homework she still had to do and determining if it was worth it.

She was outside the medical wings doors when she texted Summer :

*Raven :Hey heading home

*Summer : K and could u go to the store and pick up milk

*Summer : ill pay u back

*Raven :Fine 

After a couple of minutes of walking she noticed she was being followed by a group of men, maybe 4 or 5. They were good if it took her this long, she blamed the teachers for the homework. She had no weapons on her and they were behind the cafeteria far away from the residential dorms were located. She began to walk faster and staying in the light. She was beginning to panic, if they were TRBO, JACB, BLAD, or all of them then she was screwed. 

She started looking around to find a pole, a rock, anything to use as a weapon. Then she saw the convenience store was just up ahead and ran for it.

When she was at the door she turned around out of breath and ready to scream. She didn’t see any of them. She went inside the store and took out her scroll.

*Raven : Hey can u send qrow over with Omen

*Summer : Y

*Raven : Some guys r following me and right now in store

*Summer : Stay put well be their fast

Raven stayed in the store and began browsing and occasionally turning towards the window to see if they were still their. And was scared when she saw a silhouette of a man. 

***Next Day***

Raven and Summer were walking towards their class while Qrow stayed in. His class wasn’t for another 2 hours.

Summer : Do you have any idea who it could have been?

Raven : Maybe TRBO, JACB, BLAD or a mix of them? I don’t know! I just ran.

Raven hated to admit it but she felt weak right then and there. If she had Omen with her she would have ran at them without hesitation or remorse. 

Summer saw the look on Raven’s face. Frustrated, angry, ashamed, and worse of all afraid.

Summer (stops and puts her hands on Raven’s shoulders) : Hey, anyone in your situation would have ran. Their is no reason to feel ashamed about it.

Raven : Summer, I was weak.

Summer : Were all weak. When we are around the people we care about, we are at our most strongest. That’s why were Huntresses.

Raven stayed silent. The last time she was with Tai he was holding his head and screaming. They were weak, SHE was weak even around the man she loved. And for the other reason, well Summer would change her mind if she knew.

Raven (taking hands off her shoulders) : Anyway, changing subject. Anything new with Qrow?

Summer : Well I asked him to smell my new conditioner and for his opinion.

Raven : Aside from that being a wired way to flirt, were you in a towel and fresh out the shower or clothed and dry when you went to him?

Summer (slight blush) : Clothed.

Raven : Well did you get close close or close?

Summer (blushing and quickly) : I got close enough to hear his heartbeat explode.

As the girls kept chatting about Operation : Dumbass they were being observed from the rooftops.

Freya (sitting at the edge) : Why are we doing this again?

An Mai (holding binoculars) : James told us to follow her. He believes their is a mole in our group.

Freya :  Hey I’ve kept my mouth shut. I owe Willow everything I have. And Summer is probably the nicest person we have ever met from Beacon. 

An Mai : I agree, but if we do have a mole we have to take every precaution otherwise Tesla wins.

Freya : She let me braid her hair. That’s a sacred trust. And are you sure no one can see us?

An Mai semblance is blend. She can camouflage herself and her immediate area if she is calm. 

An Mai : Yes, i’m sure. I mean I was able to get past Casey Lee Williams backstage security.

Freya : Best! Day! Ever! But what dose Jimmy think she’ll do?

An Mai : Don’t know, that’s why we need to watch her and her team.

Freya (pouting) : Doesn’t mean we have to like it.

An Mai : Agreed.

***BLAD Dorm***

Clothes were being thrown out of a closet and a tail was popping out of it. 

Alvin : No, not this one. No, that needs to be washed. No for obvious reasons. Guys, I need help!

Damien (laughing at the antics) : Glad your admitting it.

Alvin got out of the closet and glared at Damien.

Ben (annoyed) : Get your tail out of my face!

Lenny : Guys how does this make me look? Flashy and bold or dashing and daring?

Ben : Don’t care. 

Alvin : Guys!!

Everyone turned to him.

Alvin (exhausted) : I want to ask out that girl.

Lenny : I would go with her friend. 

Lenny put his hands hovering over his chest. Trying to imitate Raven’s breasts.

Damien : She’s taken by the blonde guy.

Alvin : Plus she’s mean. The small girl,  She’s nice.

Ben : She trapped you in a mine and blew it up!

Alvin :Still her voice!! It was angelic~

Lenny :He is right. Beauties come in all sizes, big or small. I’ll help you. 

Lenny rushed over to him and took out his measuring tape.

Lenny (Edna Mode impersonation)  : First off darling you lack the pazazz in your look. Your plain and boring and the tail, was so last year.

He playfully pulled it and Alvin went stiff.

Alvin : Hands off the tail!

Lenny : My bad! But in all seriousness you need -

Damien : Muscle! (pushes Lenny aside and makes a pose) That’s what all chicks want. Come with me to the gym and get on my program and I promise you after 3 weeks every girl will want you.

Ben : What he needs is confidence. Be funny and stuff around her. Chicks love the romantic crap movies show. 

Lenny : What no he needs to be unique not some muscle brain jackass or some beta male nonsense.

Damien : Muscled jackass!?

Ben : At least the girls I come home with don’t regret it the morning after!

Lenny : You want to fucking GO!!

Alvin : Can I p-

BL_D : NO!!!

Alvin walked to the window and watched the campus ignoring the fight right behind him and daydreaming about a possible future with a beautiful girl with silver eyes.

Imagining a nice house on a hill, a litter of children with silver eyes and with different faunus features from fluffy tails and ears to looking almost normal. Them going to a local community center to sing as a family, taking on huntsmen missions as a couple and maybe family. He just stared at the window with a smile.

Damien was holding Lenny up in the air and was about to choke slam him. He had Ben in one arm wrapped around his neck to hold him in place. 

RING RING RING

Alvin snapped out of his dream and turned to the source.

Ben : Let me go.

Damien dropped Lenny on the floor and let go of Ben.

Ben walked to the scroll and picked it up.

Ben : Miller speaking, Turbo whats the problem? 

Lenny and Damien were looking at Ben and hearing him say “Okay” or “I got it”. He hung up the phone and used his semblance.

Ben (interanlly) : We got a two problems.

The rest of team BLAD ran to get notes books and pencils. 

((/// * is writing and   I   for Ben is using his semblance))

*Lenny : What?

Ben (  I  ) : We lost our only sponsor.

That spooked the team.

Damien (yelled)  : WHAT!!

Ben : Quiet!

*Lenny : HOW?

*Damien : Butch was our one and only sponsor. What do you mean he’s gone.

Ben (  I  ) : Something happened and now he lost control of his territory.

*Alvin : Alright, whats the other problem?

Ben (exhaled,   I   ) : The KTs are gone. All of them were found dead in an alley and the survivors were just found near the border. 

Ben looked away from the group, especially Lenny, not able to meet their gaze. 

Lenny (  I  ) : How?!

Ben (  I  ) : Crucified and burned. It had the True Sons of Icarus name all over it. 

*Alvin : So, the gangs dead.

*Lenny : No! WE are alive and we’ll get our revenge!

He said the last part with a sinister tone. 

*Damien : Well lets go pay the Sons a visit.

Ben (  I  ) : Not yet. They have about 60 guys maybe more.

*Lenny : Then what?!

Ben (  I  ) : They’ re at war with The West Triads, The Wolf Pack, Samedi’s Prophets and The Lost Kingz. Their all fighting over Butch’s territory and JACB is gonna help us take them out if we help secure Butch’s territory after he kicks the bucket.

*Damien : So, we kill whoever wins and if the Sons, win its two birds with one stone. 

Ben (  I  ) : And Tesla said he would be our sponsor if we do this.

*Damien : How?

Ben (  I  ) : Well two teams are graduating and one spot is open for us.

*Alvin : I don’t know about this, what happens if a White Fang show up again? 

*Lenny : They won’t. Police Chief Mann made it almost impossible for them to protest legally and if they do. Cops are allowed to use force.

Ben : So, its decided. Get some rest and Alvin go up to her and ask her out. Maybe she likes you too.

Alvin nodded and went outside to test his luck. Tonight was the night.

[dustedmagazine]

“1, 2, 3, 4!”: Jennifer Kelly’s 2018 review

Jennifer Kelly is a frantic romantic.

Rock and roll forever, sure, but it’s hard to avoid the fact that the guitar/bass/drum idiom has been pushed way off to the side in the cultural conversation. Mainstream sites list “best rock records” as a weird, subcultural genre, with a slightly bigger audience, perhaps, than best cumbia records or top Hawaiian slack key recordings (but not much). Worse, to come up with a reasonable size list they include all kinds of things that don’t belong. I mean, really, is Mount Eerie rock by any definition?

Rock isn’t dead, but it’s been made to sit in the corner. The only time in 2018 when everybody thought at once about a guitar band was when Pitchfork’s Jeremy Larson dropped his scathing, hilarious review of the Greta Van Fleet. For a moment, we all snickered as one.

Big rock was terrible in 2018. It almost always is. Yet there’s something disingenuous about the genre of year-end write-ups that laser in on the absolute worst and most bloated of rock bands to make a point about the art-form as a whole. Sure, Imagine Dragons suck. Yes, “Africa” is a soul-destroyingly awful song no matter who sings it. No, I’m not wading into the whole 1975 thing. Who has time? Who has the heart for it?  

Because this year, against a tide of commercially viable horse shit, against a backdrop of monolithic indifference, rock bands of all configurations, from all countries (but really especially Australia), continued to make great punk and rock records. And, I, for whatever reason, heard more of them than usual, and it made me happy. And maybe that’s the secret to being happy in music, in any year…find your niche, listen to the best in it, forget about what the mega-corporations are trying to sell.

Also see it live. My big highlight this year was seeing the Scientists in October (with Negative Approach, too!), but it was a pretty great 12 months for live music. It started with a fantastic show comprised of Mike Donovan, the Long Hots, J. Mascis and his Stooges cover band and Purling Hiss (with J on board for one song) at the Root Cellar, a venue I’d never heard of before that show, and that ended up putting on a string of great events. I saw Marisa Anderson, Paul Metzger, Speedy Ortiz, Howling Rain, Trad Gras Och Stenar with Endless Boogie, that Scientists show and Gary Higgins at the Root Cellar this year, and I missed a lot of shows I would have liked to see. Other great shows happened outside the Root Cellar – The Thing in the Spring in Peterborough with William Parker, Bonnie Prince Billy and others, Amy Rigby and Wreckless Eric at the Parlour Room, Messthetics at the Flywheel. Western Massachusetts has been in a commercial chokehold for years, with one organization controlling most of the venues, but there were a lot of options this year.

So, here’s to the drummers with their sticks in the air, counting off the four. Here’s to the guitar player wrecking his knees jumping up and down as he/she furiously slashes away. Here’s to the sweat and muck and black humor of $10 shows with four bands on them, two of them still in high school. And here’s to the people (me at least and possibly you) who like these things. Eddie Argos of Art Brut, who used to top these lists and now merits a footnote, spoke for this tiny, beleaguered sub-cult when he urged “Wham! Bang! Pow! Let’s rock out.”

Indeed. Let’s.

Amy Rigby—The Old Guys (Southern Domestic)

The Old Guys by Amy Rigby

Let’s just set aside the fact that the first and best song on this album is an imagined email exchange between Philip Roth and Bob Dylan on the eve of the Nobel ceremony or that Rigby namechecks three of my favorite ever TV characters in “New Sheriff.” Let’s forget, too, how rare it is for a woman of roughly my age to be making her own music and controlling her own destiny even now in 2018. No, let’s focus on the songs which are sharp, smart and full of hooks, the clean, romantic chime of Rigby’s electric 12-string, the viscous pleasure of the arrangements. This is the very best kind of rock record, one that doesn’t attempt to remake the genre but somehow makes it bigger, brighter and more necessary. The songs sounded great, live, too, with the great Wreckless Eric in tow, and the two of them bickering like old married couples do, and Rigby glowing with triumph by the end of the show.

 Shopping—The Official Body (Fat Cat)

The Official Body by Shopping

Bubbly in a hard way, strict and minimal in a manner requires body movement, this album arrived early and stayed on my go-to list all year. For Dusted, I wrote, “You could bounce a quarter off the bass lines in this third Shopping full-length. They’re pulled hard and tight against minimalist syncopated drums, the leaning, waiting, anticipating space between the thwacks as important a character as the beats themselves. The London-based trio harks back to the funky, stripped down post-punk of bands like ESG and Delta 5, with hints of the boy-girl bubble and pop of the B-52s and Pylon.

 Salad Boys—This Is Glue (Trouble in Mind)

This Is Glue by Salad Boys

Always weak for NZ lo-fi and equally a fan of the early R.E.M., so of course I fell for this buzzy daydream of a record. “Psych Slasher” bursts with immoderate, glorious joy in the chorus, then cuts back to uncertainty in the verse, the ideal blend of rambunctious rock and wistful pop. “Exaltation” is a gentler sort of classic, just as radiant but moodier, its murmur-y vocals disappearing into cloud banks of fuzzed guitar tone. The whole record sits on the knife edge of rock and indie pop, leaning one way and the other, but never falling over.

 Patois Counselors—Proper Release (Ever/Never)

Proper Release by Patois Counselors

I went all in for “So Many Digits” in my Dusted review this year, but the two great punk songs on Proper Release are “The Modern Station” and, especially, “Target Not a Comrade.” This latter song chugs and lurches on guitar and bass, trembles with wheedly keyboards and crests in a massive, hummable refrain. It’s a catchy, twitchy punk tune that’ll hit you in the part of your brain where you keep Wire and the Buzzcocks, hooky as hell in a weird, distorted way.

 Bodega—Endless Scroll (What’s Your Rupture)

Endless Scroll by BODEGA

Flipping the gender cliché, Bodega is an all-woman band with a male singer. Its tight, nervy, jangles wrap around themes of internet-age dislocation and movie references. Smart, sarcastic, ironic, sharp, Bodega bristles with what you want from a garage punk band but reveals a surprisingly soft heart uncovered round about “Charlie,” a wistful song about a boy who died too soon.

 Bardo Pond—Volume 8 (Three-Lobed)

Volume 8 by Bardo Pond

The eighth in a series of improvised albums, this year’s Bardo Pond record towers and surges with monumental heaviness. I wrote at Dusted that, “The sound, vast and muscularly monolithic as ever, seems more like a demon summoned periodically from a ring of fire, than the product of any sort of linear development.”

 Meg Baird and Mary Lattimore—Ghost Forests (Three Lobed)

Ghost Forests by Meg Baird and Mary Lattimore

This year’s most beautiful album, Ghost Forests undergirds lyric folk melodies and angelic pizzicato harp plucks with roiling, violent darkness. My Dusted review observed “The best and most interesting [tracks] juxtapose the muted violence of electric guitar with a harp’s serenity. A guitar howls from a distance throughout “In Cedars,” pushing a simmering turbulence up under sun-dappled lattices of harp picking. Later “Painter of Tygers” does the same trick of joining muscle to fairy dust, the electric guitar raging from far away, while harp and voice spread delicate magic over the tumult.”

 Seun Kuti & Egypt 80—Black Times (Strut)

Black Times by Seun Kuti & Egypt 80

Fela Kuti’s youngest son inherited his dad’s fierce political commitment, his rhythmically unstoppable Afrobeat style and a few of his band members, but this wonderful album is more alive and present than a tribute. “Struggle Sounds, “ with its hard-bounce of a beat, its blurting sax, its ecstatic backing chorus, its swagger of horns and fever-dreamed keyboards dances through history right up to the modern day. “Last Revolutionary” enumerates past African heroes and connects them to the now. I wrote, “Kuti extends his father’s legacy, its tight rhythmic interplay, its fervent political engagement, its relentless exhilarating uplift, while bringing it a bit further into the present.”

Ovlov—Tru (Exploding in Sound)

TRU by Ovlov

I first noticed Ovlov at the Thing in the Spring Festival, on an eclectic Thursday night in a book store, where the sweet surge of guitar sound felt solid enough to body surf on. Later, for Dusted, I said of Tru that “Ovlov churns a monumental fuzz, a wave of surging, undulating, feedback-altered sound …. You can almost poke it with your finger, this onslaught is so palpable. It stirs your hair like an oncoming breeze.”

Speedy Ortiz—Twerp Verse (Carpark) 

Twerp Verse by Speedy Ortiz

There’s something so bendy and unpredictable about Sadie Dupuis tunes. They hare off in unexpected ways. They stop and start. They interpose weird little intervals of pop and noise. They refuse to behave, and end up exactly as they should be, though never what you’d expect. Twerp Verse takes more pop turns than other Speedy joints, but in the tipsiest, most eccentric way, with acerbic asides in the lyrics that catch like fishhooks and stay with you. “Speedy Ortiz offers a serrated sort of pop pleasure, full of rhythmic complexity and gender confrontation,” I observed in my Dusted review.

 Had enough rock? Me neither

Here are some more punk rock and garage records that I couldn’t squeeze into the top ten overall, mostly in the order that I thought of them, but Constant Mongrel and Richard Papiercuts are pretty great and that’s probably why I thought of them first.

Constant Mongrel—Living in Excellence (La Vida Es Un Mus)

Richard Papiercuts— Twisting the Night (Ever/Never)

GOGGs—Prestrike Sweep (In the Red)

Hank Wood & the Hammerheads—S-T (Toxic State)

Obnox—Bang Messiah (Smog Veil)

Zerodent—Landscapes of Merriment (Alien Snatch!)

Sleaford Mods—Stick in a Five and Go (Domino)

Ethers—S-T (Trouble in Mind)

IDLES—Joy as an Act of Resistance (Partisan)

Bad Sports—Constant Stimulation (Dirtnap)

Lithics—Mating Surfaces (Kill Rock Stars)

Art Brut—Wham! Bang! Pow! (Alcopop)

 Whoa, slow down!

Also a shout to the musicians who made more than one really excellent album this year. Ty Segall made five, I think, but I didn’t love all of them as much as Freedom Goblin and Prestrike Sweep.

Obnox—Sonido del Templo/Bang Messiah (Astral Spirits)/(Smog Veil)

Mount Eerie—Now Only/(After) (Elverum & Sons)

Ty Segall—Freedom Goblin (Drag City)/GOGGs—Prestrike Sweep (In the Red)

Ryley Walker—Deafman Glance/The Lillywhite Sessions (Dead Oceans)

  Nevertheless, they persisted

And finally, hats off to the bands and artists that have been going forever and continued this year to produce great music.

Kinski—Accustomed to Your Face (Kill Rock Stars)

Low—Double Negative (Sub Pop)

Loma—S-T (Sub Pop) (Shearwater’s Jonathan Meiburg plus Cross Record)

Oneida—Romance (Joyful Noise)

Wreckless Eric—Construction Time and Demolition (Southern Domestic)

Messthetics—S-T (Discord) (The great Fugazi rhythm section plus a young guitar ripper—one of the best live shows of the year for me.)

Charnel Ground—S-T (12XU) (This is Kid Millions from Oneida, Chris Brokaw and James McNew from Yo La Tengo, and as you’d expect, it’s really good.)

[matildamaldita-blog1]

All my love,Elea

“All my love, Elea”

I caught a plane back to France, I am still paying the price of my rowdy times in the states, I got pulled under by a mean current but I had reasons to stay alive. Going through all those old drawings and words could make me sick to my stomach or shiver through me. Adam would finally get away from my love interest. Sometimes days like this make me feel no restless and no boredom just the prospect of calm quite days with the time to read, write and draw is all I ask. Adam had an obviously huge influence on every aspect of my being.

Hi I’m Elea- My mom and dad use to describe me as a very intense seething little being right from the beginning. What can I say coming from a very famous parents? I have always been the subtle but dramatic young artist, “a very prolific” they say. Starting at the very young age, I drew wacky personal style and always have a strong vision of my own universe. At an early age I had already a vivid concepts of good and evil (angels and devils), rich and poor (princess and urchins), joy and sadness, pain and pleasure. Was it my parents overly attentive, overly stimulating behavior that made me into attention-craving little show-off monster intensity-case? or was I born that way?

All I know is that they were the best audience a kid could have; I probably made a lot of drawings just to make my dad laugh, he was so into it. I also spent hours and of hours entertaining myself, far off in the elaborate fantasy world of an only child. “Elea Simone! I told you thousand times to not touch my stuffs” my mom says, I remember that day when I was about to reach her very expensive paint brush. My mom and I have always been apart from each other, I can always feel the heat between us, but I have always want to hug her, what do you expect from a kid to her parents? I was a little screwy, but then my father weren’t exactly average, and he never looked at me funny or told me I was weird.

We move to France when I was nine. The years that followed are oddly dim and blurry in my mind. For about a month I cried my eyes out saying “I hate you France” Imagine, they drag me from California to the South of France, pretty weird huh. But then I guess I just accepted the thought that I’d never live in the most populated state in America again. At school I was hated by some saying

“Grosse americaine!” and others were fascinated by me.

In Junior High I started to be normal, my teacher always misinterpreted my name saying

“Elea Simoienk?” Its Elea Simone I say, and people start to laugh.

I actually started correcting my parents French like

“banjower madame” my dad says, It’s not “banjower” its “bonjour”

I also made friends and it went fine. I guess it’s not that bad here. But I must’ve been killing time and the anguish of a new life by drawing sketches archived by my Father. Nancy, little lulu, old Walt Disney, betty boop, popeye, golden books and etc. inspired and obsessed me, thanks to brain washing, vintage education. Puberty made me become self-conscious, and I tried to conform to fit the school standard even though I never succeeded in that branch. Sketchbooks were always with me, and illustrated diaries full of teenage angst.

During my late adolescence my Father’s increasing fame started to loom over me, as I slowly realized it was my fate to forever be compared to “The Legend” if I kept on drawing. My parents are keeping a low profile as writers and artists, and it was a heavy thing trying to find a style, an artistic identity of my own, impatient and frustrated. I found refuge in my teenage life: hash, beer, boys, drama, high school dorms and grungy bongo parties filled my days and my sketchbooks. I took an art in school and love life drawing and art history but was skeptical of the badly taught, pretentious contemporary art curriculum. Still, art class and English class are what got me through high school without flunking, as I spent most class time doodling and daydreaming. After a couple of years in stretching my brains in college I finally graduated and I knew that at some point I made my parents proud of me. Paris! Big city life, freedom, weird Moroccan waiter boyfriends and circus school; being a pseudo English teacher for fancy Parisian companies where suburban secretaries would rant about their unhappy marriages in bad English; living in a bad neighborhoods and exploring dive bars and the streets of Paris on bike at night; meeting artists and musicians, good and mostly bad. The buzzing life that surrounded me was still exhilarating and stimulating. But art-making was still a confusing issue. I did manage to finish a comic or two and even publish some. But my sketchbooks were the place I had the most fun, not having to worry about all that. It wasn’t a “work”, and I drew freely, letting it all spill out.

For days I’ve been thinking about to go back to US, maybe get a job there and see what happens. I told my parents about it, my dad agreed to it although my mom is obviously against about it, but they can’t stop a dreamer from dreaming, and they said “Go on, we’ll be fine here”. As I’ve arrived in Brooklyn, N.Y. Airport I thought “I should rediscover my homeland, maybe it would somehow liberate me in all levels and solving certain identity issues, my own identity issue” and then I laugh. I almost got lost looking for 10 East 53rd Street, New York, 10022. Glad that I found myself in 52ND St. I was walking around in circles trying to find some signage and there it is, a tall building, kind of eccentric but good. The room is in minimalistic style, and liked it so much so I never moved anything. I never had much sleep in my second day in New York; I didn’t even touch my stuffs nor have some coffee. As I’ve stood up and look through the glass wall I saw a great “moon deli drew” coffee shop in front of the building that I’m staying. “What a surprise” I say. I published some more and drew a lot, feeling free and identifying some-what with the edgy, outsider, punk youth-culture in the bay area and then in New York City.

On the next day it was a bit gloomy, it’s Monday and I need to get up and get my exhausted butt to work. I think I’ll made up early at work if I’ll ride a cab so maybe there’s nothing wrong if I’ll have a little coffee first in deli. As I enjoy myself viewing the newspaper a light strikes my eyes, it was a man’s sunglasses, and it reflects the sun to me. The man was in a hurry stepping into the coffee shop, and I found my eye’s following him until he get out in the deli’s and until  he was a bit blurry from afar.

As I got in the condo from work I feel totally washed out.

“What a luck! What a gift! What a crazy existence!” and then I lay in bed

“What the hell am I doing here kvetching and moaning? I should be doing so much good stuff for the world or at least for me!” and then I stood up and look in the mirror

“Every 4 seconds, once acre of forest turns into desert and most of the world is dying…but I’m not” I sighed heavy.

“If I were to try to make my dreams come true what would I do? I can’t be an activist, some people aren’t made to deal with people I’m incapable of that” I walked to the kitchen and get some glass of vodka.

“My dreams are selfish I’d love to be a nomad and do art and make a living with it” I open the sliding glass door and I stood there in the balcony.

“Well I guess I’ll just a have a vodka and wait for the things to happen”.

I saw that man again in the Deli’s he was sitting there, having chitchat with someone. I saw him two times in a day and that could be something. “Maybe that’s the girlfriend” I say. After a minute of talk the woman left and the man was still there sitting, nodding and not moving while me, I was just there in the balcony standing, then all of a sudden…

“Lolai lolai lolai” as the gypsies sing

“Oh God I forgot I live in a gypsy neighborhood in Brooklyn” I say.

It always gets out of hand and ends up a big mess. Sometimes they annoy me so much, and the worst is that I hate being woken up. Everyone still thinks it’s the greatest neighborhood in Brooklyn because there’s always excellent gypsy music. But it’s New York City, and it’s the city that never sleeps.

On the next day at exactly 6:00 am, I stop by at Deli’s to grab some espresso. I sat at deli’s tables outside the corner and relishing every effort I drew like creeps and bumps, junkies, wing-nuts, train-riding, crusty brats and street artists then suddenly “Can I sit here?” a man said. His voice could be foghorn loud when he was blooming out a guffaw but it was normally mellifluous. It took me a second to answer; it was him, the man on deli’s, so I just nod my head. He’s so intimidating, why is that? I couldn’t make a single move. He’s eyes speaks more than his mouth, like one look would say anything and he wouldn’t have to talk.

Its half past 7 and I’m still here, my knees are quivering.

“Why am I leaving?”

“What am I gonna do after?”

“What about him?”

Like what about him? Why would I care about him? I brush off from that table immediately.

And from that day I always await for him in the balcony. By weekdays at exactly 6:00 am he would stop by carrying his briefcase at deli’s first for some café latte and a raspberry muffin, by 1:00 pm he’ll drop over with his co-workers and order a cup of espresso macchiato and by 6 pm until he’ll finish the last sip of flat white coffee it would take him an hour to leave his favorite spot in deli’s. By weekend he would be at deli’s by 10:00 am wearing casual clothes, he usually wear nifty clothes. He have this Mohican cut and as he glide with an athletic grace without skipping a bit his hair would fall perfectly. He had a manly Samson physique and his derringdo personality and bass voice were a big part of his ambitious character.

I have this part of me “nosy” and so I asked the barista at moon deli drew about the guy.

“Hey can I have some café mocha, and oh make that two!” I say.

“Two café mocha coming right up”, she said.

“The other one is for you”, I smiled.

“We don’t accept anything that comes from our own menu, but anyway thank you” she said.

“Actually I just want to know the name of the guy who always carries with him his briefcase, you know that French guy?” I say

“Oh Mr. Adam he’s not French he’s Irish” she said.

“Adam, hmm that sounds sexy” I chuckled.

At my room I always feel like I’m losing my grip, losing my touch with reality…like I’m a ghost but it kind of feels alright.

“I just want to bash my head in from time to time no biggie” I say while I’m waiting for my family to call me.

“Whattevah New Yoahk City” I say.

-telephone rang-

“So how’s Brooklyn?” My mom said.

“Good, t’was great I’m really getting to it” I say

“Well you don’t sound like, you know you can always comeback Elea” she said

“Mom please don’t start” I said.

“You can’t please everybody with your work so what’s the use trying?” she said.

“Mom I’m halfway through” I said.

“There would always be someone to criticize you and put you down” she said

“Sorry mommy, sorry to not be doing what’s best for me, but it’s just what I need, after all you did say I was on my path of truth does that include every bad choices I make?” I said

-hang up-

We quarrel sometimes, and sometimes we weep. I’m too tired trying to have a good conversation with my mom; I better leave it this way. The next morning was a sunny n’ warm day so I went for a dog run then I gave myself a punky 80’s mullet but cute haircut I hope Adam would see me now. My sketchbook was filled with “Adam Anatomy” I watch for him to walk by my glass window every single day, I woke up 5:59 in the morning so that I could exactly holdup a minute to see him pass by. I always look down waiting for him to sit on his favorite spot at moon deli drew.

The next day was a very fine day but I woke up late, it’s already 8 in the morning and I missed Adam to pass by. “Great, just great and now I have to wait for him by 1:00 pm” I said. Its 1:30 and I’d never saw an Adam walking in the 2nd avenue he’s always on time and always in a rush in daytime, but now? Hours past and I finally saw him sitting in his favorite spot. I notice that he always order a cup espresso “Espresso is not far from his personality, he’s always in a hurry and espresso is strong one it makes him to be always on the go. Maybe this man knows how to get what he wants and always on the way of getting it” I said. While I’m savouring the moment by looking at him, he lift his head and looked at the sky and then he looked at me instantly and I immediately ran inside the room and I hide in the curtains.

Today was quite a bit weird day. I never saw him in any time of the day. By the next day, I only saw him once it was Saturday and he didn’t stay long at deli’s. It’s been three weeks and still, I never had a chance to see him passing by or sitting on his favorite spot while I glance at the glass window from time to time. Days past, days turns to weeks, weeks to months, and months to year it is unmarked, except in relation to how long it will be before I’ll see you again. Alone in my room, I receive no guests, I rarely go out. Having stopped out of work, I’ve lost contacts with my friends: I’ve withdrawn from them, and they from me. My days are as long as despair can make them. I begin taking endless and exhausting walks to nowhere, just block after block into Brooklyn or over the bridge into Manhattan. I spend hours of each day sitting on a bench on the promenade, looking at the bridges over the East River, sometimes turning to consider the houses behind me, wondering in which Adam lives, if he still lives near there.

I’ve had too much fun breaking into abandoned buildings, sleeping parks, falling in love and getting my heart broke for a year. I was wild out of control, it was great. But sometimes I felt quite at home, but disillusion and decrepitude slowly replaced the awe. “I want to see you again Adam” I said while blowing my cigar. “Where could you be?” You left a heart that is tired to grow, I’m hurt, haggard, growing more and more clueless and lost, a sort of endless heartbreak and disbelief. I got screwed. How come no one warns me that all the endearing, youthful confidence, ambition and energy are just kind of wear off. The pain, the suffering, the tedium, all the crap that made me stronger, it all just helps clarify the vision of my wretched sorry horrible existence. I have my little escape methods and still, what seems to “count” is what I went through that changed me. The heavy moments without realization, I was altered and there’s no going back.

“Sweetheart?” my dad said on the phone

“Dad I’ll caught a plane back to France” I say

“What’s going on Elea?” my dad said.

“Nothing that concerns you dad” I say.

“When will you coming home?” he said

“Maybe next week” I say.

“You tell me everything that happened to you in there, okay?” he said

“Okay” I say.

I spend a lot of time in boutiques, trying on clothes I have no intention of buying, looking at myself in the dressing room mirrors. I’ve always been drawn to mirrors, not out of vanity but for re assurance. I’m in there, and I don’t resist any reflective surface-puddles, and shop windows. As I look outside the glass window of the boutique a light strikes my eyes, it was a man’s sun glass he pass by across the street from that boutique. I instantly follow the guy until I was out from the place, he was heading straight off to moon deli drew and knew it was him, it was Adam. His wrestler’s shoulders were part of his burly physique. His gap year clothes always made him appear younger than his years. The swirl of his cologne had me swooning in the aisles. “It’s been a year, and we never had a conversation maybe by now I could say something” I say while I’m following him.

There he was sitting on his favorite spot. His Irish mariner-blue eyes were soft and swam with joy, it is orb round with gleam and delight. I want to get close to him, but as I got nearer a woman just pop in the scene, a winsome type, voluptuous and so fine that every man would drop dead. I was knock off for a minute, they we’re happy and so I should be for him. I turned back and walk away, deep down in me was hurt and a part of me was gratified after seeing him again. I don’t know what’s got into me that I walk back to my track, I just thought that “I’ve waited for him, I’ve been wondering for a year about where could he might be, and now? I just want to hear something from him,

“Am I making myself look loony?” I said

“Hi” I said

“Uhm hello, do I know you?” Adam said.

“No but I know you” I said

“Have we met before?” he said

“Who is she?” the girl asked.

“I know this would sound so weird but…” I said.

“What do you want? I think your lost sweetheart” the girl said.

“Let her speak Talia” Adam said.

“Am I missing something here? Is there something that I didn’t know?” she said

“Talia please just let her talk” he said

I ran away from their table, I ran as if I was being chased. Did I just embarrass myself? I think I just made myself look stupid in front of them.

Days past, my remaining stay in Brooklyn is soon will end. I have let go all that pressure of living up. I don’t really expect much from myself as art-wise, maybe in a few drawings. Maybe if I’ll go back to France I can figure out all the abnormality, perversion and zaniness onto paper.

Dear Adam,

Since I’d never had a chance to talk to you this letter might be a good one to start. I’m Elea by the way, I know you don’t know me but your eyes consume me, eyes that see me but never know me. I summon the oceans to drown every pain since I never saw you coming to “moon deli drew” and that sleep is where I hide. I guess I’ll learn to take the good with bad, I’ve been waiting for you to pass by my glass window and that I’m fleeting from this truth but I can’t flee indefinitely. I don’t really have an idea why I ended up in New York but it leads me to you, It's just that when the truth is like a stranger, it hits you right between the eyes. I guess I’ll just go back from where I should be. These nowhere's and no times are the only home I have. Je te regardrais toujours, meme si tu es telement hors d’atteinte.

All my love,

Elea