#i keep forgetting that i can actually record my process lmao

[xitsensunmoon]

I think this is like the most effort I ever put into something that was supposed to be a funny goofy but then turned into me giggling and kicking my feet. I'm in need for soft Moon cuddles, with all his gremlin energy still present...

Close ups, mostly Moon's limbs because I like how they're gripping the net fkdkkd

And finally the "reference" that started it all lmao😭

[causeimcrayzeebee]

wow. chapter 3. that was a lot. spoilers down below as usual.

also before we start i just wanna say to all of you guys to PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!! ik that this week n last week were so much but please don’t forget to prioritize your health!

okay i was taking notes in my notes app while watching cause i wanted to have some reminders so i could write a coherent review on the trial but god. that fucked me up. i did genuinely really love the trial but it’s just a lot to process so i will be waiting till i write any analysis, so don’t expect any very soon LMAO um so yeah, my notes started off decently normal (lie but they were intended to be normal n serious) and then became more and more incoherent. here ya go, my notes copy pasted over here ☝️

chapter 3 yay

“exactly what it sounds like tamba” THIS BITCH CHANNELING KAMIMURA I CANTTTT 😭😭😭

HAMA TELLING WADA TO BREATHE I ALREADY TWARED UP WUAUE HAMA HELPING WADA W THE BATHROOM THATS SO SWEET

watari telling okazaki off hell yeah lets go but also IAGAH

DONT TALK ABOUT HIM GRRR

hiroaki is actually so smart n we don’t talk about that enough!!!!!! please can we talk about that more!!!!!!

OKAZAKI NOT SHUTTING UP BYE 😭

Hasegawa having to defend himself with evidence only 😭

OH MY GOD HASEGAWAS RAGE WHEN BEING SUSPECTED BC HE CARED THE MOST 😭 the va work was fantastic i got so fucking sad

watari getting itchy from the demon waves im CACKLING

HIROAKI POWERING THROUGH THE BODY DESCRIPTION LETS GO 🗣️🗣️💯💯💯💯

god i knew that was SH cuts but GOD I appreciate how much hasegawa tried to keep it private 😭

Hama being a king n bringing up the bop on the head like tambas poison theory bye

LAB SAFETY VIOLATION 😭 Okazaki label picture dropping when

FINALLY! IT WAS POISON!!!! lmfaooo she was so excited im so happy for her

hiroaki being truthful about trying to kill himself what the FUCK IM GONNA CRY

PLEASE KEEP YP WITH THE REST OF THE GROUP LMAO  STOP BULLYING HER SHES TRYING

hayashigeki divorce arc 

nah but fr what if i cried they’re both so valid but lowk yanagi got a point 😭

WHY DOES TAMBA NOT KNOW WHAT A 3D PRINTER IS I CANT KEEP DEFENDING YOU LIKE THIS 😭😭😭

they shared a bed let us REJOICE 🗣️🗣️

“when she came back from the void” “THE WHAT”

WADA RAGE WADA RAGE WADA RAGE

woodshop mention 🗣️🗣️🗣️

hiroaki being strategically logical and yanagi being more emotional god I LOVE HIRONAGI FOILS

“it seems as though we’re somewhat divided on this issue” SCRUM DEBATE 😜😜😜

yanagi using so much energy to argue with mfs 

the way hayashi gets it out of him,,, HE WAS TRYING TO OPEN THE DOOR AUAGSHS

Hama as a safety precaution in wataris room LMFAO I LOVE THIS DUO SO MUCH MORE THAN I EXPECTED

YANAGI STOP BEING SUSPICIOUS UAGAHEUE

it cannot be tamba absolutely not please that’s gotta be insane she does NOT have the motivation for that

tamba is lowk distressed :(

so technically can only be okazaki, yanagi, or tamba????? im gonna cry either way

OH I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT THE SHIRT THING BEING MORE THAN THE COLD

guys pls don’t let it be yanagi

please no

guys no

god fucking no

oh right his hand isn’t working let’s go

NOT MY QUEEN HAYASHI

GIRL NOT THE TRACK RECORD MENTION 😭😭😭

nah wait why is hiroaki suddenly becoming the emotion n yanagi the logic

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

HASEGAWA HAVING A PISSED OFF WADA MOMENT AUAHSHS FUCKKK

NO NOT WATARI HIDING ON THE COAT BEING USED AS EVIDENCE EUEGEGG

sus ahh Okazaki….. with 20 minutes left……. how we feeling Okazaki nation…..

stop lying vro

wadas ribs has been added to your truth bullets

COAT REVEAL 🗣️🗣️🗣️

WATARI 😭😭😭😭😭

oh god i wasn’t expecting that

WATARII MY SWEET BABY OH MT GOD POBRECITO RUCK FUCK MT STUPJD BAKA LJFE

THE LAUGHING

WHAT

WHAT RHE FUCK

WHAT IS GOINNGGG ON

FACE REVEAL1?1?2?3?

BRO OHTTA THE FRAME

OH MT GOD

IM SCREAMING WHAT IS THIS

IM LOSING IT

WHA

IM CRYING WHATBIS THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

this is not real

SODA AT THESE LINES UPPP LMFAOAOAO

OH MY GOD THEYRE NEMESES THATS KINDA AWESOME NGL

everyone being so done with her bye 😭😭😭

SHE WANTED TSUNO SO BAD???? TOXIC ONE SIDED YURI WTF????

IM STILL PROCESSING

this is not happening

THE VOICE CHANGE

EVERYONE IS SO DONE WITH THEM IM SCREAMING

guys why do i kinda love this

tsuno didn’t gaf

WADA GET THEIR ASS 😭😭😭

there is nothing classy about whatever this is

no bc the rivalry is insane

POBRECITO WATARI

KAMIMURA DIED FOR NOTHING WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE HELL

WHAHWTWHWKE

loathing unadulterated loathing

get her ass what the fucking shit

NO CLOSING ARGUMENT??????

KAMIMURAS SHORT TOO

OH MY GODDDD

IM SCREAMING

THIS IS CRAzyyt 😭😭😭😭

WHAT IS THIS

this was villanous

GET THEIR ASS HASEGAWA PLSSS 😭😭😭😭

i am in such shock

FUCK YOU FOR MESSING WITH MY KING IM THROWING HANDS IMMEDIATELY

WATARI OH MY GODDDD AUSHSH 😭😭😭

“GO DIE ALREADY” LMFAOAO

the editing for this episode is crazy

wada so real

wada get their ass pls

END THIS SHIT ALREADY

BRO WAS CONFINED FOR A SECOND HELEPP1??1?2?2

fourth wall breaking icon??????

i think im hysterical what do you MEAN HE DIED FOR NOTHING

okay back from crying and pacing around for 10 minutes let’s continue

THE TONGUE WAS A TROPHY?????????? I need another break WHATVTHE fucke

smart to get hasegawa outta here but FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU OKAZAKI

PLEASE VOTE PLEASE PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK!!!

actually when is the Okazaki lore drop happening i need it

THIS MAKES ME SO SAD KAMIMURA DIED BEFORE ANY OF HIS DREAMS BECAME TRUE AND HE LIVED A MAINLY TRAGIC LIFE AND IT ENDED TO HORRENDOUSLY????? IM SO UPSET ACTUALLY

EXECUTE THEIR ASS

WADA PLEASE BE THE EXECUTIONER

OH MY GOD HES TRYING TO HIT THEM OH MY GOD GET THEIR ASSS

OH GET THEIR ASS HASEGAWA

HASEGAWA RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE HOLLYYYYY FUCKKKKKKKK

WHAT THE RUCWHAT THE FUCJS

WATARIIII OH MT GODDDDDDD

im in actual tears hey yeah what the hell

WATARI HASEGAWA AND WADANOH MT FUCKING GOS THIS WAS SO DESPAIRING WHAT THE FUCK. THE FUCKz THE FUCK.

WATARI 😭😭😭😭😭😭

im actually crying now

I CANT SEE THE SCREEN MY TWARS DUDE WHAT RHE HELL

THE WAY THAT THE CAST IS SO DONE WITH THEM

WELL BE FOXES OKAY? OH MY FOD STOP STIP STOPS FTOOSTBOSRN AROP IT I WILL FOLLOW YOUR FLAME WHAG IF I CRIED

im at such a loss okay trial over execution time

me too dr yonekura

IM STILL PISSED ABOUT KAMIMURA

I MISS KAMIMURA SO BAD

I MISS HIM SO MUCH OHHHHHH MY GOD BRING HIM BACK GUYS PLEAS EPLEAPELWMEPALEPALDJRPWMAPEKE

the way yonekura is so done w okazaki 💀💀

WHO OKAYED THAT HOWD THAT GET THROUGH BUDGETING IM IN TEARS

this chapter was simultaneously the most serious tetro has ever gotten and the most unserious at the same time

oh so she just like suffocated

YONEKURA DOES NOT THINK THIS WAS INNOVATIVE IM SCREAMING LMFAOAO

not an expensive motive???? oh boy

OKAZAKIS TRACK COMING IN I CANTTTT

kamimura nation I think we need a minute (a year of losing it)

THEY ARE CHANGING THE ANNOUNCMENT MID GAME?? wait a damn minute we didn’t have the three person rule before hand bye why did i not realize this,,,, fuck y’all doctors btw

WHAT

OKAZAKI WAS YONEKURAS KID???? AND THEIR NAME WAS YUME????? oh guys I need a lore drop so bad. and also to get through the staffside logs. maybe this is not the surprise it is to me I’m bye. 

the fuck is wrong with yonekura

how are parents even working

soryr i genuinely had to take another break my mom walked into the room and i had somewhat gotten it together n she asked what happened and i just started BAWLING oh my GOD it’s genuinely been so long since I’ve cried like this over a fictional character

ok we are locked in now

OJIMA WHAT THE FUCK HE TRIED SO HAR DOH MY GOD THE TEARS CAME RIFHT BACK

I DONT WANNA LEAVE YOH BEHIND OH MY GOD

HIROJIMA MY BELOVEDS

my eyeliner is GONE bro 😭

guys I really fucking love hiroaki

she done w yanagi 😞

TAMBA APOLOGY RAHAHHHH i love tamba i was a hater a bit during the trial but it’s because i love her,,,,

I LIKE YOU TAMBA YOURE SOMETHING TO ME

MY HEART OH MY GOD “I JUST MISS YOU” IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

NOW I HAVE TO FORGIVE YOU okay bro….. just say you love her…..

their friendship is so special i NEED TO DRAW THIS HUG SO BAD

THEYRE TALKING TO TSUNO

FUCK

AUAHSOEIEOE OH MT GOD

I MISS TSUNO GUYS I MISS HER SO BAD

WADA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I LOVE YOU OH MY FOD I CHOKEE J CANT SEE ANSYTHING ON THE KEYBOARD ANYKORE

NEW WASA CLOTHES THATS SO FYXJING CUTE AWWW I LOVE THIS SO MYCH

HE WAS DRAWING HIM TO MAKE HIM AN OURFIT1?2?2?2? FUCKKKK TETRO RHINES MY LIFE SLASH POS

WADA NEW CLOTHES SPRITE WHEN

WADA HIROAKI HUG IM DRAWING THIS IMMEDIATELY

WADA HAIR CUT WADA GLOW UP 🗣️🗣️🗣️ FUCK YEAH 

im so glad we ended that on a high note that made me so happy after everything else

no hasegawa episode? interesting…. unless we get one in like an hour or something but yk wow

i do want to say that despite the emotional rollercoaster that was this trial, and the frankly INCREDIBLY UNEXPECTED outcome, i did like it narratively. ik the decision of having okazakis character go this direction is gonna be incredibly controversial amongst the community but i really loved it. kamimuras death was almost meaningless, that’s tragic AS FUCK. but “meaningless” deaths happen. it’s not strange to kill off a character for no reason, because people die unfairly way more than we even want to think. and it SUCKS. it sucks SO BAD. but it’s not unrealistic. I think the unserious tone of Okazaki really made the tone of the entire series become even darker and more sinister. wow, anyways take what im saying here w a grain of salt bc im kinda hysterical rn so yeah.

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF YALL!!!! in the end, it heavily impacts us because these characters mean things to us, but PLEASE prioritize yourself <3

[insecateur]

do you have any tips on where and/or how to make blinkies? i want to learn how to make them but don't know how. have a good day btw :3

hiiii i will do my best to give tips!! o7

first of all if you want to get a feel for blinkie making without diving in directly i recommend using a site like blinkies.cafe which lets you just add text to premade blinkie templates! i think it's a good way to get an eye for the blinkies "aesthetic" especially regarding the actual blinking part, the borders, all of that. and ofc the size (which for the record is traditionally 150x20px!)

if you want to actually get into Real Custom-Made Blinkies, studying ones you like up close is a great idea because it'll help you see what works and what doesn't. obviously everyone will have different design sensibilities, but that's why it's always good to take inspiration from things that you personally like!

here are things that i like, as an example:

dotted/dashed borders that blink between two colors

shadows

outlines

pixel art

keep in mind that blinking can be upsetting to the eyes for some people! i always try to not overdo it, but at the same time, they are blinkies, so it seems kind of like a waste when they don't blink at all...

traditionally, blinkies include two things: a picture, and text. they don't always! sometimes there's only a picture, and sometimes there's only text. for example, this blinkie i made of lysandre only has his card art and little hearts. this is once again going to depend on your preferences. but for the sake of explaining, let's say you want one or two simple pictures, and some text.

i find pokémon to be a pretty easy thing to make blinkies for, because you have a large panel of pixel art to choose from! for example, i made this blinkie for my blog using one of the mini scyther sprites. a lot of them are animated, too, which is fun. i can't really advise you on what program to use for animated stuff because i use really old ones LMAO but i've always had a good time using ezgif! you can just feed it your frames and use the website to put them together into an animation.

the text imo is the trickiest part. the blinkies you find on blinkies.cafe use pixelated fonts, but i've had a really hard time using them outside of that context. it's hard to get them to look good imo, especially at the small scale that blinkies end up at... so what i've been doing is making my own little pixel art alphabet. it's very fun for me and i don't think it's as difficult as it sounds, so i definitely recommend it because it gives you a lot more flexibility imo. i handdrew the text for all of my PSS blinkies, as well as the aforementioned scyther one, and this trans rights one. i actually have the trans rights and PSS alphabets completed and saved in a file for later use in case i need them, lmao:

you can see what the process is like: i make a rectangle, draw one letter, and then copy the rectangle to draw the other ones at the same size and in the same style. it's very, um, vibe-based, i guess? you just have to figure out what looks good for your Vision. but i find it super fun... so it's easy for me to do, i guess...

if you want to see the scyther blinkies text closer up, here it is at 500% size:

uncapitalized letters are more difficult than capitalized letters imo, but i think i did an ok job! maybe i'll make a full alphabet for that one too at some point, lmao. for the "tumblr" text i just copied the style of the logo (hopefully that comes through...)

i'm not sure what else to say, so feel free to ask more specific questions if you'd like! i think a lot of the other stuff is more general art/graphics advice, like color theory and the likes, which i'm not sure is worth going over LOL. but as a parting note, i'd definitely suggest not going overboard on the color palette. blinkies are pretty small at their default size, and too many colors will make them really hard to look at, let alone understand. in general, keep in mind the final size when working on something like blinkies, and make sure to zoom out periodically to double check you've got something readable!

and don't forget to have fun 👍👍👍

[magentagalaxies]

I forget if I ever actually posted my Aubrey open mic performance but if you haven't seen it here it is!! This is the mic I went to with Scott back in July which was the first time he ever saw any of my comedy. I flubbed the order of a few sections and the microphone being taped to the stand threw me off but overall it was a good time. Also I have no idea why the audio pans weirdly with headphones and idk how to fix it so sorry about that:

the rest of this post is me deliberating about an aubrey decision bc i find the best way for me to figure things out is by explaining them to someone, so if you want an insight into my creative process read on, otherwise hope you enjoy!!

ok deliberation time lmao!!

i hadn't rewatched this set since right after i did it and honestly i think i feel a lot more positively towards it than i did before, but i'm also sitting here thinking, do i want to do this monologue anymore?

because the "uncle reg" monologue is the one i've performed the most times, and more than that, i think the introduction of reg really unlocked aubrey's characterization beyond anything else i've written. reg allows aubrey to contrast against someone, find unlikely common ground, and also is an outlet for comedy about some of the most unique relationships in my life

but the monologue itself? i mean, it's fine. it's not horribly out of character or anything, and the jokes work. it's a little more firm in one label than the aubrey i currently know, but it still scans.

but idk, i've written so much more aubrey and reg material since then (both monologues and sitcom-like episode concepts, some of my favorites being "nom de plum", "reg's funeral-orgy", "re-claiming the f word (friendship)", "don't grill the baby", and "hospital hookup"). and when i look at this character introduction, i feel like it gets bogged down in the little squabbles about labels and doesn't really have a story to it like the newer material does. it has a little bit of a story, with the pride stuff at the end, but that's barely developed (and my ideas for what else happened that day might work better as a sitcom episode).

and y'know maybe that's also reflective of how my own intergenerational-queer-friendships have evolved since i first wrote uncle reg, no longer getting bogged down in labels and arguments and instead going on zany adventures. but even tho the monologue is called "uncle reg", uncle reg isn't confined to one monologue

and i know i could always keep doing this monologue and just mix in others, or rewrite it to give it more of a storyline, but i kind of just want to leave it as "aubrey stage one". part of me wanted to keep doing it until i got a "perfect" recording (not flubbing any lines), but this might be the best it gets, and i'll keep getting better with the material i actually want to do lmao

idk i think the reason this is on my mind is bc as i'm going over the plans for scott's tour, i already had this goal that any time we stay in a city for an extended number of days, i'd seek out local open mics and do my own unofficial aubrey tour. and one of the other tour-members has a lot of connections to small clubs, so he said he might be able to get me booked shows as aubrey (and someone from toronto said the same thing at scott's new years party). so i'm wanting to firm up my material and practice it in my hometown a bit before taking it on the road. and also it's interesting navigating this culture-war-bullshit as this character, because i don't think aubrey can only appear to queer audiences or gen z or liberals etc. (you might disagree, but i don't want to perform in a bubble) but i need to figure out how to strike the right tone, and i think i have other material that works better for that (sometimes even edgier material, like the "hypothetical penis" monologue is still in)

idk it's daunting bc even tho i have a lot of aubrey material (two and a half notebooks worth), i haven't put it into a polished-monologue-format in a while bc i've been procrastinating. and the "uncle reg" monologue is the only one i ever completely memorized. but i want to get better at this so i just have to do it!!!

anyway thank you for reading this far if you did! i think i'm pretty much settled on not doing this monologue anymore (or at least just putting it on the shelf for now so i can motivate myself to do other material) but feel free to give your thoughts. and before you go...

[tiredhawks]

Lmao, call me petty but I want Hawks to keep some of his win records, it's sad enough Hori decided he was past his prime at 23, and YET this man is going toe to toe with AFO while disabled (which is his QUIRK) with nothing but two katanas and swung hard enough to BREAK the steel. And now he's going to fight AFO in his prime. All Might could never. I hope AFO stays there the whole time, getting rewinded until he turns into a toddler and Hawks just punts him into the sun. Let Deku's legacy be saving Shigaraki's heart, let Hawks' new legacy be decapitating AFO and bullying toddler demon lords. Anyways this got away from me, but we don't actually know which half of the year Hawks debuted right? For all we know, it could've been his birthday, April as is the new school year and when Mt. Lady did, so technically, it's up in the air how quickly after he turned 18 that he hit the top ten, and so it is unknown how quickly Deku would have to be to break that record. Hawks could have a week earlier on him for all we know.

Anon you are going to make me write a literal essay here. I 100% agree. I think people severely overlook how crazy Hawks' accomplishments were too. People make similar comments about 1a's big three doing what Hawks did. And honestly they won't. Endeavor has insanely powerful fire quirk, the will, and is work obsessed. He did not do what Hawks did. He was the second youngest, I think? But there is still a few years difference there. So how would Bakugo or Shoto be in a different situation? Realistically, they wouldn't. They would ascend the ranks quickly, but not in the way Hawks did.

Izuku is a special case because he is All Might's successor and the world is desperately missing All Might. But at this moment, people don't actually know that. And winning the war is a huge accomplishment, but there is a limit to how much that can boost him overall. It's a point scale, not an arbitrary number handed out. And here's the thing- they are first year students. No matter what happens, they cant be pro heroes as students. That's several years of lag for public attention to die out and other things to happen. We can't assume what does or doesn't happen in those years. We also shouldn't forget that Izuku is kinda unpopular right now. We just had an arc where people gathered outside UA to not let him back in. The civilians in MHA don't see the world we see, the fights we do, or what these kids are dealing with. There's too much going on here to say yes or no. Could Izuku do it? Possibly, but I don't think it's as likely as people act. Does he deserve it? Obviously, he's literally going to save Japan. But the hero ranking is a process and I still think it's important the narration says "how I become the greatest hero" and not the number 1. This isn't a is Izuku better than Hawks comparison, it's a discussion of how hero ranking works.

(Not to mention the commission is fucked up right now and it seems the way everything is headed is that there won't be ranks anymore at all.)

Hawks had very unique circumstances considering he was literally groomed since 7 years old to fill this role. He had the personality, the looks, the knowledge, and a quirk that makes him extremely extremely extremely active. He is a workaholic to an unhealthy amount. THAT is how he climbed the ranks impossibly fast. There was not a single second he wasnt scoring popularity points or activity points, or both at the same time. And that WASNT. GOOD.

We don't WANT that. Hawks broke records because he was in a situation that was the product of everything fucked with hero society.

That's the point of his character. Hawks worked and worked and was handsome with the perfect quirk and broke records and made girls swoon- and Keigo didn't exist. Keigo was not a person. Hawks the hero was the only thing there. The entire point of his character is to show the problem with hero society and to have people go "my fav will break his record lol" IT DOES INDEED IRK ME A LITTLE BIT. And you addressed this by mentioning Hawks being last his prime at 23. That is so incredibly depressing and people just gloss over what it actually means. Izuku is supposed to be healthy, have a life, have friends, have off time. He's not supposed to be in this war at all or have this pressure. And before anyone goes "girl, it was a joke TikTok" listen, this isn't about the TikTok anymore. This is an attitude and thought process I have repeatedly seen in this fandom. Oh my god I'm just going to make another post about Hawks' work this is so long

[nothorses]

Top Surgery Journal

I figured it was time to share my top surgery experiences, so folks can potentially learn from them! I'll be updating this as I have more to add.

For context, I am in the U.S. (specifically Washington state), and a legal adult. A lot of my process may not apply to everyone.

Getting Coverage

The first step to scheduling top surgery is getting insurance coverage for it. Talk to your insurance first to figure out if they do cover top surgery, and what you need to do in order to obtain coverage. Oftentimes it won't be listed officially on your plan, but you can get coverage as long as you can prove you need it.

I was lucky enough to have good insurance with trans healthcare included, so all I needed was a letter from my PCP, and a letter from a behavioral health counselor specializing in gender dysphoria. I didn't need any diagnoses, any specific length of time on HRT, any particular presentation, etc.

(If you live in Washington, state law requires that top surgery be fully covered under Medicare. It might be worth it to check your state's laws as well!)

Referrals

I tried to schedule with a surgeon myself, thinking it was my responsibility to get the documents sent over and everything, but my PCP actually referred me when I first told her I had gotten coverage from my insurance.

I ended up going with that referral because the other surgeon was so hard to get ahold of, but my PCP did also send a referral to the surgeon I'd chosen before. I recommend going through your PCP for referrals first, as it takes a lot of the workload off of you- and they'll likely write a referral anyway when sending the documents needed for coverage over.

You may also find that the surgeon you talk to has different requirements than your insurance before performing top surgery. A referral from your PCP might bypass these requirements, but be sure to call them yourself and double-check. Your surgeon's office is supposed to call you to schedule a consultation, and they may not call you at all if you don't have all of those documents in- which means you can be left in limbo indefinitely, not knowing you need to send them more than you already did.

The Consultation

I was able to get a consultation about 5 weeks after calling, which was great! The consultation is your opportunity to ask the surgeon any questions you have, for them to evaluate your chest and what methods might work for you, and for you to see their results (most surgeons do not post result photos online for privacy reasons).

Come into the consultation with all the questions you have written down somewhere, so you don't forget. I asked:

If I could see photographs of his top surgery results

Which incisions he thought would work for me, stressing the things that were important to me: minimal recovery time, no free nipple grafts (I wanted to keep mine, but without risking a failed graft), and minimal chance of needing revisions

What my recovery would look like for the recommended incisions

Whether I will be getting drains (ideally, yes: drains reduce recovery time and the risk of needing revisions)

If he's had patients who have had complications (failed grafts, infections, need for revisions, etc.) and what he's done to reduce the chances of that happening again

My surgeon's results looked good (scars were even and symmetrical, healed nicely, etc.) and he answered my questions really well, so I was happy to go with him!

He recommended the fishmouth method for me, because recovery time would be minimal, there would be no need for nipple grafts, and my chest was small enough for it to work really well.

Scheduling the Surgery

My surgeon didn't have a very long waitlist, but it still took about 3 weeks for the clinic to process my request with my insurance (yes, even though I already had coverage). Once they'd processed that, they called me with a window of time I could schedule within; after a few months, insurance would no longer cover the surgery.

I got an extension, as I was working an intense summer job that I couldn't really take a few weeks off of to recover, then scheduled my surgery over the phone. They asked if I wanted a pre-op appointment, and I declined, as it'd mostly be information covered in the consultation or that could be given to me over the phone.

Preparing for Surgery

I wasn't given a check-in time for the hospital until about 2pm the day before, but they finally did call me and give me some instructions, including:

My check-in time and place

The hospital's phone number, to give to my ride/caretaker in case they had questions

That I was not to bring visitors (cause covid)

To bring my ID, insurance card, and credit card

That I was not to eat or drink anything after 12am that night (I did drink a bit of water with my meds, which they seemed fine with)

To shower with antibacterial soap the night before, and the morning of the surgery

Not to wear hair or skin products like deoderant or gel

Not to wear any jewelry, or anything else removable that wasn't just a clothing item.

When I checked into the hospital, they had my fill out some paperwork including the name and number of my ride and caretaker (which could be the same or separate people; they called the ride number when it was time to pick me up, and the caretaker number with detailed updates on my progress). Then they had me change into the hospital gown and answer some medical history questions, prepped me with an IV, and had a nurse, both anesthesiologists involved in my surgery, and my surgeon check in with me for more information and to answer any last questions I had.

I was told to use the bathroom about 20 minutes before I would be going under for my surgery (to avoid needing a catheter), and once I did, they injected some anesthetic into my IV and I passed the fuck out.

After Surgery

I showed up to the hospital at about 9am, and the prepping ended around 11am. The surgery was scheduled to end at 2pm; I wasn't conscious until about 3pm.

They had me use the restroom again (I passed out on the floor of the bathroom because it was way too soon, lmao), and I was in and out of sleep until I finally used the bathroom on my own at about 5pm. At that point I was a lot more lucid; I had some toast and pudding, and the nurse called my caretaker to go over post-op instructions with us both.

After that I dressed myself, was wheeled out to pick up my pain meds at the in-hospital pharmacy, then hopped in the car with my ride (the wonderful @lillia-pad) at about 5:30pm.

Recovery

I have a pretty high tolerance for anesthetic, so I was mostly just tired during the 36-ish hours the anesthetic continued to wear off. I didn't experience any nausea or lightheadedness either, but I was given an anti-nausea patch behind my left ear, plus some anti-nausea meds, just in case.

My post-op regimen sort of looks like this:

Take 1-2 tablets of oxycodone every 4 hours (for pain)

Take 2 tablets of laxative meds twice a day (cause pain meds cause constipation)

Empty drains twice per day, and record how much was in them

Get up and walk around every couple of hours to reduce the risk of blood clots

Ease into eating again: start with clear fluids, and work up to crackers/bread/etc., to avoid nausea and vomiting.

Lay down propped up on plenty of pillows, and only on your back (no side-sleeping!)

Keep the compression binder/gauze on for the first 48 hours, then remove them to shower as needed (but put them back on after!)

I was pretty lucid by the third day post-surgery, and was able to scale my pain meds down pretty quickly from 2 tabs on the first day, to 1 tab for the next two days, to 1/2 tab. Meds are much more important at night, when there's nothing to distract you from the pain- don't be afraid to ration them for nighttime.

Oxycodone also definitely causes drowsiness, so I took a lot of "oxy naps" about 45-60 minutes after I took my meds, which last between 20 minutes and 2 hours depending on how tired I am.

I have my post-op this week, so I will update this post with more details on my scars and healing then!

[superb-owl-sunday]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[cookinguptales]

I traditionally open up fic requests for my birthday. It's something that I've been doing since I was in college, and I've always enjoyed it! I like giving out presents on my birthday, and honestly, getting fic feedback is kind of like a present for me anyway. So it's a win-win situation.

This year I've gone back and forth. I ended up getting really busy (and sick/overwhelmed) shortly after I opened fic requests for the holidays, so there are a couple of those that I never actually got to. One of them in particular got super long so god knows when I'll finish that, lmao.

I'm also still In The Process of finishing up those tarot readings (I swear I didn't forget, I just keep getting distracted lmao) so like. Yes, clearly I already have things that I promised to people that aren't done yet.

But... at the same time, I did finish and post one of those long-overdue fics today and it made me feel better than I have in a while re: my writing, so... I suppose if y'all are willing to be patient with me if it takes a while (or I do things out of order) then I'm happy to take fic requests for... let's say the next day or so?

Please feel free to ask for fic for any canon you know I'm familiar with, though I reserve the right to say no if it's a pairing/trope I don't like. Or if I just don't remember the canon. lmao. I don't really want to write anything with a sad ending rn, and I don't usually like long, detailed prompts. (I just do best when someone gives me a jumping-off point and I can fill in the blanks.) So maybe like a show/pairing, a trope or VERY brief scenario, and any particular squicks I should avoid? Like, it should fit into a sentence or two.

I can't promise the fics will be long or detailed, but who knows how fancy will take me? One last time ended up becoming a really long fic, which is bad for the requester because it still is not done.

(For comparison, just know that Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow Too started its life as a giftfic in an exchange with a 300-word minimum. 🙃)

I really do not want to make any promises here because... well, my track record recently has not been super solid. I've been getting tired really easily. That said, I miss writing as much as I was, so maybe writing some short, fun little fics will help get me back into the swing of things. Prime the pump, so to speak.

Uh so yeah. Send me a fic request and I'll do what I can!

[vegalocity]

Hug while straddling for @purble-turble's Time Travel Red and MK?

Affection meme

31. Hugging While straddling partner

Eyyyy lmao I'm always down to talk about Red Son: Ultimate Enemy as told by @purble-turble

--

There was no such thing as 'loving mental illness away'.

That was one of the very first things Qi Xiaotian had internalized when he came to the decision to make up with Red Son after his future adventure.

He wasn't exactly the picture of mental health himself, but when Red Son stumbled back into their time period, jacket chopped in half hair shorn close to his head and so obviously choking back tears, He'd instantly known whatever had happened to him had been actual hell. (Of course at first he'd forced himself to not care for how angry he'd been with Red Son after he'd told him about his parents plan and how he'd been a willing pawn in it, but that was beside the point)

So once he'd been properly brought upt to date on the exacts of the nightmare-future, and they'd started the process of looking for a therapist for Red Son, as clearly, he'd needed it, Xiaotian had taken it upon himself to do some research on his own time. it was a little difficult, he didn't want Red to find out about it until he actually had a better sense of what he should be doing, but since Red Son rarely seemed to be able to sleep anymore (even when Xiaotian could get him to lay with him in bed it was clear what little sleep he did get was rife with nightmares) and when he did sleep through the night he would wake up earlier than him, and they lived together... his most constant time for research was usually when he was technically on the clock.

But he'd gotten a couple of books about Post-traumatic stress disorder, general psychology, and 'So you've got a loved one with severe depression' (an actual title) and he'd scribble notes into the margins and on sticky notes when there was time between deliveries. And the first lesson every single one of those books had for him was just that.

You can't 'love someone out of their illness'. That's not a thing. The best you can do is love them through it.

So he did his best with that.

On some days that was just sending texts full of cute animal gifs and heart emojis, on some that was coming up to the loft on break to sit next to the lump of pillows and blankets on the bed and (after finding the telltale hint of short red hair that gave away where his head was) resting a hand on the part of the lump that was most likely an arm, gently rubbing it, and sitting in silence until his break ended.

And on some days it was this.

"It's not safe you're not safe I'm gonna slip up eventually-" Red Son's voice was fragile and warbling as his actions contradicted his words, hands scrabbling up and down his back and sides, gripping periodically for purchase before shrinking back as if afraid just hugging him back would crush him. "I'm gonna do something-"

"You won't." Xiaotian was practically seated in Red Son's lap at this point. Red had been sitting on the floor, back to the edge of the bed when the meltdown had begun, so kneeling on the ground until he was rested on his partners legs did two things:

one, it enabled him to wrap him up as tight as he could in his arms without having to twist one or both of them in an awkward angle.

and two, the extra pressure would probably help ground him, make it a little easier to come down from this one.

"You don't know that" His voice was hoarse, desperate. and Xiaotian closed his eyes and squeezed Red Son tighter.

"I do. I know you, hun." Red Son sobbed into his shoulder and he felt his hands finally decide where to be, resting across either shoulder blades and balling the fabric they found there up into fists.

"I know there's basically nothing that'll make you believe it at this point, but you're a good man, Red Son."

"I'm no-"

"Shhh, my turn to talk now." he shifted a hand to be able to bury it in Red Son's hair. He could feel him ever so minutely relax beneath him at the sensation. "You saw your potential for being a bad person, and don't forget everyone's got it. I have it, Xiaojiao has it, hell Monkey King has recorded evidence for his bad person potential, anyway, you saw yours and you've been working your ass off nonstop to keep it from ever getting the best of you.

"And this shit is fucking hard, hun. You're fighting your own brain and the actual literal future here! and guess what? it might not feel like it right now but you're winning."

Still, he shook his head against Xiaotian's shoulder. he didn't want to interrupt again, but still make his disagreement known.

"You are." He pulled away just enough to be able to properly cup Red Son's wet face in his hands. "You think that Evil King remotely hacked Jin and Yin's stupid battle robot in that illegal mech fighting ring and made it throw the match making them look like idiots in his timeline?" Red's gaze broke from his own as he thought back on the fight that broke out the week previous.

"....I suppose not-"

"You think that Evil King ever thinks for more than a second about the ethics of what evil plans he carries out let alone hours of agonizing over whether something was the right call or not?"

"Certainly not but that's not-"

"It is the point, Red. You're not the same person anymore. Maybe you started from the same roots, but he dug himself back into the ground and you rose up like a fucking tree instead."

Red Son met his gaze again, and Xiaotian could tell he still didn't believe him, but there was a spark there.

The faintest, dimmest hope.

"You are a good man, Red Son." this time he made sure every word was careful deliberate. So there was no misunderstandings that could be made. "And I am not accepting counterarguments at this time so you'd better fucking take it."

When he pulled Red Son against his chest again, and let the demon continue to cry quietly into his shirt, he pressed a small kiss to the crown of his head.

"I love you."

Red Son choked on a sob, and didn't answer.

It wasn't an issue, he knew Red Son loved him. Part of this whole thing being a thing in the first place was because Red Son loved him. Red Son wouldn't be as scared of becoming the Evil King as he was if he didn't love him so he knew better than to take to heart the days where he just couldn't say the words back.

There weren't any cures for mental illnesses. There were ways to mitigate the symptoms, but there are no spells that cure depression, there's no potion of anti-PTSD, and no person can love someone out of their illness.

But heavens above did he wish it some days.

He'd give anything to make it so Red Son wouldn't have to be in so much pain.

But all he could do was just hold him tighter, and stroke the short red tresses between his fingers until the sobbing stopped.

It took less time than usual.

Red was exhausted and pliant by the end of it and let Xiaotian drag him about the loft, obediently (if slowly) eating what was pressed into his hands and then nursing the mug of tea he was given as they settled down on the mound of cushions and he put on that 'how things are made' show that Red Son liked.

He was asleep halfway through the second episode.

Sure, some days were harder than others, and sure, some days he'd wish there was a cure just to spare Red the suffering.

But he felt Red Son's head slowly loll to the side until it rested on his shoulder, breathing slow and even and looking for the first time today like he was at peace and-

He still wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Love You, Hun."

Red Son hummed against him.

--

Send me stuff!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

  °˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

[dokidokey]

who would have thought that passing a 20-page paper 5 days late would lead you to dabi?

word count: 3,765

tags & warnings: bad boy x straight a student au, college au, fluff, a pinch of endeavor slander, brief mention of throwing up, brief mention of abuse (nothing explicit, the word just gets mentioned once!)

notes: hi zeze (@reddriot), i’m your secret santa! sorry this is so late, we’re on our way home at this ungodly hour and i finally have some stable connection now lmao. i’m so so sorry but also, happy holidays! i hope you enjoy what my pretty much dry and blank mind managed to cook up lol i’m so thankful and i met you and got to know you. <3 thank u for everything. and the title lol omg i’m so bad at titles but i kind realized it rhymes with ornaments, so i left it at that.

The day you met Todoroki Touya was not a good day. You would even consider it a bad week, actually. Apparently, you were a week late on a 20-page paper for History and you didn’t even know. It irked you because you have no other excuse except that you didn’t know. There was a totally different due date in your head, one that wasn’t five days ago. So when your teacher shook her head disapprovingly while tucking your 20-page paper against the smooth surface of her desk, you had no other choice but to leave the room.

You wouldn’t want a teacher to see you cry over a late submission. You certainly wouldn’t want other students roaming the hallway to see you cry either, so you had to fight off the warmth pooling at the corners of your eyes. The last corner leading to the campus library was where Todoroki Touya presented himself.

The impact of your bodies bumping against each other came first, then the stinging pinch of something hot against your skin next. A sharp gasp escaped your lips as you pulled your arm away, eyes widening at the sight of a small, circular burn mark on your forearm.

“You burned － Why are you smoking here?” The accusing tone in your voice immediately disappeared and replaced by panic as you watched a quite familiar face bring a cigarette to his lips, perfectly poised between his long fingers. “You’re not allowed to smoke on campus grounds!”

A puff of smoke swirled through the air as he huffed, the corner of his lips twitching as he eyed you up and down. The intense, blue eyes taking over your body sent shivers down your spine, arms protectively crossing over your front to try and shield yourself from his gaze.

“Not if I don’t get caught,” he smirked, bringing the cigarette back up to his lips. The man was familiar; face and most of his skin that’s exposed under the leather jacket were covered in scars, a dark contrast against his fair complexion. You’re sure you will never forget him if you knew him, but the familiarity of his face doesn’t ring any names in your head.

He puffed out the smoke in a harsh breath, the delicate sound seeming so loud in the quiet and isolated hallway. For a moment you forgot about your late History paper and the chances of you getting anything lower than an A.

Both of your palms met the fabric of your denim-clad thigh in a light slap, arms sagging and voice raising. “If you and I get caught－!”

“Then leave.”

The deadpan and harsh delivery of his words left you open-mouthed, the disapproving look of your teacher once again flashing in your mind. The corners of your eyes warmed again, stinging more than the way it did earlier.

You’re croaking out an unwanted explanation before you realized it. “I － I might get detention and－,” you sniffled, trying to prevent the tears from flowing because you know how embarrassing that would be, so much so to this mysterious person who you found familiar but not really. “And my parents－.”

A scoff cuts you off. You watched as he killed the ember of the cigarette using his bare fingers, pinching the lit end between his thumb and forefinger before tucking it in one of his front pockets. If it weren’t for the strong stench of the cigarette, no one would suspect that he was smoking here, in front of you, inside campus grounds.

“Of course. Precious little [Name] can’t have bad grades and a bad record.”

He said it as if it was so bad. You wouldn’t normally find offense on jabs like those, but today wasn’t just your day. Your retort died down quickly in your throat though when you realized he said your name. He knew you.

With furrowed brows and quivering lips, you asked, “how do you know me?”

The dark-haired man leaned on the concrete wall, shoving a hand down the pocket of his pants. “Who wouldn’t know the teachers’ favorite student? Straight A, little miss [Name].”

It was your turn to scoff. “Favorite,” you mocked, eyes rolling, “I didn’t know being the favorite meant not considering the fact that I didn’t know the deadline was 5 days ago without anyone else informing me.”

A smirk blossomed on his stupidly handsome face. “For once you didn’t get away with something, huh?”

“Didn’t get away? I didn’t know! I had no idea! It’s not my fault.”

“Hmm.”

“It’s true.”

“If you say so,” he chuckled, pushing himself off the wall and taking two steps back, eyes still on you. He winked, then turned around. The silence in the hallway felt deafening as you stood there, but the quick footsteps of his figure walking back towards you eats up the quiet. “Or on second thought,” he says, tapping a foot on the floor, “I can excuse you to the teacher about your late paper.”

It seemed like the tears of frustration pooling at the sides of your eyes retreated back to your tear glands, ears more than ready to hear out whatever his proposition was.

“If you act as my fake girlfriend for a Christmas dinner with my family, I’ll tell the teacher that I tricked you about the deadline.”

You looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “And that’s going to work?”

“Have you seen me, doll? I’m that boy your teacher refers to as a bad influence.”

“You should not be hanging out with people like him, [Name.]”

Mrs. Nakamura’s disappointed tone does nothing to stop the smile spreading on your face, though you tried to suppress it to not come off as suspicious. You’re nodding your head like you’re agreeing with her, knowing that that will not happen any time soon because you have a Christmas dinner with your boyfriend’s family in less than three weeks.

“Go on then,” your teacher waved her hand, “you aren’t marked as late but remember what I told you. If you keep that boy around you, trouble’s sure to follow.”

The hallway didn’t feel as dark and lonesome as it did earlier. It’s surely not because of the other person walking along with you. You’d like to think that, but a part of you knew you might just be lying. And it was stupid, really. Were you really harboring a crush over him? You. . . don’t even know his name.

“What’s your name?”

A choked laugh was the reply you got. “What? You don’t know me?”

“You’re familiar. I just can’t put a name on you,” you shrugged.

“Touya. Todoroki Touya,” he answered, grimacing. “But call me Dabi. That’s what my friends call me.”

“Are you saying we’re friends?” You grinned, looking up at him. He was tall, okay. So much more taller than you. You barely reached his shoulders.

“Technically, you’re my girlfriend, so no. We are not friends.”

You decided technicalities weren’t so bad when Dabi almost never left your side. The sudden (and quite cliché yet comic) pair you two made didn’t go unnoticed by the teachers. Mrs. Nakamura reminded you every single day about Dabi and his troubles. You aren’t aware what kind of troubles Dabi is associated in yet, but you’d like to think you’ll get there.

When you agreed to pretend to be his girlfriend, you didn’t think it would be this kind of long-term thing. You thought that maybe he’ll leave you alone after that day and just hit you up again on the day of the dinner, but you were so wrong.

You’ve never liked being wrong as much as you did about him.

“Stop fussing, my mom’s going to love you.”

He’s said that for the fourth time now. You’re making him more antsy than you are with your bouncing leg and deep sighs every ten seconds.

“And your dad?” You glare at him, wiping your clammy hands on your jeans and bouncing your leg again. He rolls his eyes as an answer.

In the short, three weeks you’ve gotten to know Dabi, you learned a lot about him. One, he hates his father passionately. Two, the teachers don’t really like him (but that sounds so mean when worded like that so you like to think he just isn’t the favorite student.) Three, he’s allergic to fish. Four, he pays attention to every single thing you say. Five, he’s actually the eldest out of the four Todoroki children and lastly, (this is more about you than him) maybe you let your little crush fester more than you planned.

You’ve had to berate yourself multiple times that he is not your boyfriend. You and Dabi are not in a real relationship. This is all a product of your grades being saved and an arrangement to fill up an empty seat at his family’s dinner for Christmas.

“What if your sister doesn’t like me,” you say meekly, “or your brother. And your other brother.”

Dabi shifts on the bench you both are sitting on to face you properly, placing a warm hand over your sweaty ones. “Stop it. They’re going to love you.”

It’s your turn to roll your eyes but really, you’re just having a hard time making your brain function properly to process a reply when his hands are there, on top of yours, warm and soothing. It makes your heart do a little happy dance inside your chest that you know it should not be doing, but you can’t help it.

You’re way too deep into this hell, and you don’t know how you’ll take it when he cuts you off after you both benefit from this arrangement you have.

When Dabi pulls you up to stand up before he walks you home, you try to remember how his hands felt against yours.

“You look nice.”

Nice. You had to rummage through your closet for this halter dress, the most decent thing you can find that can fit for a Christmas dinner. It’s 6 PM on the 24th of December and even though this isn’t how you expected to spend the night before Christmas, here you are anyway.

“You look nice too,” you compliment, taking in how Dabi is wearing an actual pair of decent slacks and a button up. A nervous laugh bubbles out of your throat. “You said it was a simple dinner date so I was kind of expecting you to just show up in one of your old, ragged jeans, you know?!”

He quirks his head to the left, the sides of his lips turned up. Dabi offers you his hand as you descend the few steps from your apartment door. “It was,” he says, “but my mom made me wear this when I said I’ll bring a girl over.”

“Haven’t you brought a girl over before?”

A mischievous smile spreads over Dabi’s face, a thumb pressing a gentle pressure on the back of your hand. “No. You’re special because you’re the first one.”

Great. It’s not like you’re not nervous enough about meeting the Todorokis. He just has to tell you you’re the first girl his family will meet. What makes it worse is that you aren’t really Dabi’s girlfriend. It seems a little selfish on both of your parts to let the rest of his family get to know you and then you’ll never see them again because, well, this arrangement can’t last forever, can it?

“And you have a car?” You gasp, eye zeroing in on the sleek, black vehicle parked across the street where you both are heading. “You have a car?”

He chuckles, shaking his head side to side. “This is my dad’s, actually.” He says it again with an eye roll, opening up the passenger door for you. “He only made me use it to impress you.”

“Like I’m not impressed enough?” You huff out a laugh, palms gliding over the dashboard.

“Impressed by what?”

You, you’d like to answer, but for the sake of your sad excuse of a relationship, you keep your mouth shut.

“Things.”

The ride to their place was filled with back and forth banter from you and Dabi. He’s tried to calm you down when a new wave of nervousness surged within you but as you stand in front of their door with hands sweating an entire Pacific ocean, it’s obvious his attempt didn’t work.

“Calm down,” Dabi says, forehead scrunched as he watches you fiddle with the skirt of your dress. You’ve been standing there for about two minutes now and if your goal is to make your nervousness rub off on him, then you’re doing a pretty good job.

“Is my hair okay?” You fuss over some more, smoothing out the unruly strands that weren’t even there. “Is my face－?”

Dabi grabs your hands in his, calloused fingers wrapping around yours. The words die in your throat as you look up at him with wide eyes, mind blanking out at the warmth on your palm.

“You look beautiful, okay? If you touch your hair or smooth your skirt one more ti－.”

“I knew I heard you guys!”

An enthusiastic voice of a girl almost the same height as you rings through your ears and you look over to see his sister, Fuyumi, white and red hair parted in the middle and over her shoulders. You’ve seen her in some pictures in Dabi’s phone because you’re in that stage where you can just casually unlock and go through Dabi’s phone. (You haven’t seen anything unusual yet, just some candid pictures of you that you have no idea how he took. Bless your poor heart after you discovered that album dedicated just for you.)

Fuyumi places her hands on her hips, smiling brightly at you. “I thought Touya was just lying about you to escape the marriage arranged for him but turns out he isn’t.” She opens the door wider for you and Dabi. “Come in. Mom’s been waiting for you.”

The Todoroki household is neat. Minimalist. You aren’t sure if it’s spacious or it’s an illusion due to the lack of decorations inside. Fuyumi immediately hugs you after you and Dabi are completely inside, and she leads you away to meet Natsuo and Shouto. The sight of Natsuo startles you at first. He looks exactly like how you envisioned Dabi to be if he didn’t have scars. And seriously, what’s up with this family having scars? You noticed a dark crimson circling Shouto’s right eye.

Mrs. Todoroki is the most welcoming of them all, if not as much as Fuyumi. Her hand immediately went to your hair, patting softly and smiling delicately at you.

“I never imagined the day would come when Touya finally brings home a girl,” she whispers. The sight of her eyes getting glassy is enough to make your own gloss over, though it’s for an entirely different reason. How cruel can you and Dabi be to pretend and lie like this in front of his mom?

“Oh, please don’t cry! Did I make you cry?” She laughs tearfully, squeezing your shoulder. You choke out a laugh at her reaction, shaking your head no.

“I leave her alone for five minutes and you already made her cry?” Comes Dabi’s voice at the entryway of the kitchen, his tall frame blocking the path. He walks over to where you and Rei are standing, placing a warm hand on the small of your back. “What did mom say to make you cry?”

Rei sniffles and you dab a finger under your eyes, trying to keep your tears at bay. “Nothing,” you reply, unconsciously leaning back on his chest as you keep your emotions in check. In front of you, Rei has a fond look in her eyes as she watches Dabi tuck a strand of hair behind your ears and your wobbly smile directed at her son.

Your little moment is ruined when the front door shuts close with a loud rattle. Dabi tenses behind and you crane your neck enough to see across the living room a tall and broad man with bright red hair.

“That’s your father,” Mrs. Todoroki sighs.

The food is good but the dinner is awkward. Todoroki Enji made sure that either you nor Dabi will be able to sit through tonight peacefully.

“I’m surprised you managed to stick around my son this long,” Enji rumbles, looking at you briefly before going back to his meal. Four months. That’s what you and Dabi came up with for your pretend relationship. You’ve been dating for four months and you both knew each other after getting paired up for a History project. It’s not much of a lie since you did meet because of History.

“I’m surprised Dabi managed to stick around me this long,” you reply nervously, trying to make light of the situation. It seems you only made it worse when Enji’s sharp eyes bote onto yours.

“Dabi?” He inquires, head tilting to the side. The rest of the Todorokis are quiet except him. “You call him that?”

You nod, stomach churning. Any time now and you might just throw up. “You call him by that name, huh?” He chuckles hollowly, shaking his head. “Imagine my surprise when I saw you here, much less as Touya’s infamous girlfriend. If I didn’t know better, he just hired you as a fake girlfriend to run away from tradition.”

Tradition. Right. Dabi has mentioned to you once that his parents were arranged. He’s told you how he knows his father doesn’t really love his mom. You know about the abuse and the way he treats his family.

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong because what Dabi－,” you pause, turning briefly to look at him, “Touya. What Touya and I have is pretty much real.”

Enji scoffs, a large, heavy palm slapping on the smooth surface of their mahogany table. “Tell me that again when you’re still here a year from now.”

“Sure,” you smile, cheeks aching with how forced it is. It baffles you how Dabi’s father has all the authority in this household －how no one dares to object or talk back.

Todoroki Enji decides to surprise when deep chuckles start escaping his lips. “You,” he points a finger at you, “I like you. You’re brave. Not a single person in this household can face me like that. You’re too good for that boy,” he nods over Dabi’s direction. From your peripheral, you can see just how tight Dabi’s hands are clenched, and you reach over to place one over his.

“Actually, he’s too good for me,” you quip back. You have no idea where this sudden surge of confidence is coming from, but that doesn’t matter. You need to say what you have to say. You wouldn’t be seeing this family ever again after this anyways. “Touya is actually a good man. He’s more than what meets the eye. Maybe you’ll know that if you paid enough attention to him － and all your children, honestly.”

There’s no taking back what you just spewed out. Too stunned, you aren’t aware of the smug smirk and raised eyebrows Dabi is sporting. You don’t see the way Natsuo is trying to fight off his smile. Mrs. Todoroki and Fuyumi have a hand in their faces and Shouto, for the first time since you arrived, looks at you wholly and quite in awe. With your blood rushing in your ears and heart beating erratically, you open your mouth to excuse yourself, but Dabi beats you to it.

“Now if you would just excuse us.” And he’s tugging on your hand. You whisper out a quiet “I’m sorry,” when you pass by Rei, and you’re out of the front door.

“So,” you grin, hugging the mug of hot chocolate to your chest with your feet tucked beneath you. “On a scale of one to ten, how good was I at ruining your family’s dinner?”

After that whole dinner fiasco, you both just decided to go home to your apartment. Dabi is currently sprawled over the other end of your couch, his feet perched on the coffee table (you told him three times already to put it down) and three of his shirt buttons are undone. He’s got his own cup of hot chocolate on his hand, the other playing with the frills of your throw pillow.

“An eleven,” he grins back at you. He leans over and places his mug on the table. “That took guts.”

You nod. “It did. It just didn’t sit right with me how he talked about you like that, like － I remember you telling me how he used to be all over you as a child, but after Shouto was born, he neglected all of you. He isn’t － That’s not － What kind of father does that?” You sigh, groaning when you remember Rei and the rest of his siblings had to witness that.

“That is so embarrassing. I’m pretty sure your mom hates me now.”

“Trust me,” Dabi chuckles, sitting upright and moving closer to you, “she does not. You should have seen Natsu. He was about to lose it.”

“Still,” you press, throwing him a dirty look. “Who talks like that to their boyfriend’s dad on the first meeting?”

Dabi stares at you, turquoise eyes brighter than ever. “So I’m your boyfriend now?”

You’re pretty sure your heart just skipped a beat at that. “I mean, t-technically. Right? That was － That was what we － That was what we were pretending to be.”

Reality dawns on you again. This is all pretend. No matter how warm Rei and his sibling welcomed you, no matter how much Rei adored you, you’ll never see them again. This is a one time thing － something beneficial for the two of you. And as much as it breaks your heart that you got attached to Dabi that fast, you try to hide your sadness by saying, “at least I won’t see them again, so technically, talking back to your dad is fine.”

“Do you want to though?”

“I － What?”

Dabi leans closer. “Do you want to stop pretending?”

You don’t answer. You can’t answer. “Is this a trick question?”

He goes closer. The tips of his hair are grazing your forehead. Even this close, Dabi seems to be looming over you. “I wouldn’t mind making it real.”

“I really don’t want to see your father again,” you whisper. Dabi barely closes the gap between the two of you, nose touching yours.

“We can arrange that.”

more notes: tbh this kind of strayed, uh, kinda far from the bad boy x straight a student au but that’s just because most of what i plan ends up straying kind of far from the original idea. but never mind that, i’m happy with how this turned out. EXCUSE ME THAT LAST LINE? WITH THE ARRANGE THING? HELLO? AM I GIVING MYSELF TOO MUCH CREDITS? I MIGHT BE, BUT I DON’T CARE. also ze (´ ▽｀) if you ever get tagged by me on another dabi fic, it’s just me making up for this late post i am sorry.

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

(pt 1) i really enjoy all your atla analyses & you've done a great job breaking down the usual arguments re how eip shows that kataang shouldn't have happened. i'm curious about your take on one specific argument that i just saw today, in an analysis of the show by a zker that was otherwise quite good and respectful (i know you've already talked about eip a lot, so no problem if you don't feel like rehashing). the premise: aang didn't just pressure katara in eip, he threatened her.

(pt 2) they point to when katara joins aang & asks if he’s alright: “aang: no, i’m not! i hate this play! katara: i know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting. aang: overreacting? if i hadn’t blocked my chakra, i’d probably be in the avatar state right now!” the suggestion is he’s threatening her when he says ‘i’d probably be in the avatar state right now’ to describe his anger. i think this take exaggerates and oversimplifies it, but interested in your thoughts on it.

Hello my friend!! It is true I am Old inside and don’t like rehashing dhdlksjslks BUT your comments on my posts are always incredibly kind and insightful so I am more than willing to do a bit of rehashing for you 🥰 Besides! I’ve seen this general take before a few times and it’s always irked me for the exact reason you point out - it simultaneously exaggerates and oversimplifies the situation (and honestly that’s an impressive duality since it’s seemingly contradictory, so hats off to them lmaooo) - and now is as good a time as any to address it. So, for starters, let’s go ahead and get the excerpt they love to focus on so much:

Cut to Aang standing alone on a balcony. Katara enters and walks up to him.

Katara: Are you all right?

Aang: [Angered.] No, I’m not! I hate this play! [Yanks his hat off and throws it on the ground.]

Katara: I know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting.

Aang: Overreacting? If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!

Here’s the thing about so-called analyses of this excerpt: in a manner extremely convenient to the poster, they never seek to contextualize this moment. (I mean, to do so would deplatform their entire “argument” - perhaps that’s why they avoid performing a full analysis?) So let’s avoid that pitfall from the start.

Firstly, below are some links to related posts; I’m going to do my best to summarize the most relevant parts, but for anyone who desires greater detail, I gotchu 😤

This post explains why EIP (the play, lol) is imperialist propaganda and is intended to belittle the entire Gaang.

This post explains how Aang never acted “entitled” to Katara’s affections, particularly in regard to EIP.

This post breaks down the infamous EIP kiss like Snopes Fact Checker, covering common misconceptions, important perspectives to consider, etc.

Alright. With that out the way, it’s time for some context.

Aang and Katara have this conversation on the balcony after watching 95% of “The Boy in the Iceberg,” a play chock-full of Fire Nation propaganda that demeans the entire Gaang in order to prop up the Fire Nation as superior (hence why the play ends with Ozai’s victory). Here is my general breakdown of Aang and Katara’s treatment in particular from a previous post:

- katara, an indigenous woman, is highly sexualized and portrayed as overly dramatic and tearful, because the fire nation objectifies women not of their own people and views them as less intelligent and less emotionally stable

- aang, the avatar, the sole survivor of the fire nation’s genocide of the air nomads who is incredibly in-touch with his spirituality and femininity, is portrayed as an overly-airy and immature woman. the fire nation portrays him with a female actor to demean him (like, that’s classic imperialistic propagandist tactics) and furthermore writing his character as a childish airhead reinforces the fire nation sentiment that the air nomads were weak, foolish people who did not deserve to exist in their world

In other words, these kids have just watched almost an entire play that preys upon their insecurities and depicts them using racist and sexist stereotypes about their respective nations. It is completely understandable that tensions might run a little high and that their interactions would not be as balanced as usual (Katara and Aang have a great track record of communicating well with each other, as it happens!).

So we have to keep that in mind when examining the aforementioned excerpt. But there are other factors to consider, too! Namely: they are kids. Children. Teens. Aang is 12, Katara is 14.

If we want to be scientific, a person’s brain doesn’t finish developing until they are 25, lmao, and the preteen/teen years are when the prefrontal cortex that controls “rationality,” “judgement,” “forethought,” etc. is still developing. This doesn’t mean Aang and Katara are irrational and make poor decisions 24/7 (obviously not), but it does mean that in an intense, highly emotional situation, like after watching a play that intentionally demeans them and depicts them as inferior, they are more likely to overreact, more likely to be emotional, and more likely to make mistakes. Like, I’m serious, lol. “Teens process information with the amygdala.” That’s part of the brain that helps control emotions! It’s why teens sometimes struggle to articulate what we’re thinking, especially in situations that require instinct/impulse and quick decisions, because we’re really feeling whenever we make those choices. Acting more on emotion. Our brains simply haven’t finished developing the decision-making parts, lmao.

In sum: Aang and Katara are both kids, not adults, and should be interpreted as such. This doesn’t negate their intelligence, because they are both incredibly smart and Aang is arguably the wisest of the Gaang, but they are human. Young humans. They have emotions, and we should not be so cruel as to assume they’d never act on them.

So taking that all together, we can now acknowledge the high stress Aang and Katara are under, understand why they might be upset (*cough* imperialist propaganda is hurtful *cough*), and examine how their youth might play into their emotional reactions. And funny thing - all analyses that come to the conclusion of Aang “threatening” Katara here do not usually bother with this context. I can’t imagine why!

And you know what, let’s add one more piece of context: Sokka states that Aang left the theater “like, ten minutes ago,” which is what cues Katara to go look for him on the balcony. The reason I mention this line is because to me, it suggests Aang knew he was more worked up than usual! He chose to separate himself from his friends so he could process his frustration! He did not take his anger at the play out on them; instead, he purposefully took time and space to be alone.

With that in mind, I don’t understand at all how Aang’s Avatar state quote could be interpreted as a threat? Canonly, Aang is someone who was aware enough of his frustration to separate himself from the others - yet the logical next step is him threatening Katara as a result? He knew his intense emotions were because of the play (which he says himself), so the logical conclusion is that he then pinned the fault on Katara? What?? Sorry, that interpretation has no textual basis, lmao. But I digress!

Aang tells Katara, “If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!” As you said, this is the line people point to in an attempt to justify their (baseless) conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. So let’s bring in the two key pieces of context: imperialist propaganda and age. Given that Aang is 12, and given that Aang has just watched almost a full play that demeans him and everything his people stood for (and let’s not forget it also mocks his and Katara’s love for each other)…

His reaction is understandable. An exaggeration and needlessly dramatic, but understandable. He feels vulnerable and insecure and Aang is human. He is human and flawed and he overreacts here and I love that A:TLA shows how even our heroes, even people who are truly good at heart and in soul, can get overly upset (especially given the aforementioned circumstances!). Would Aang actually be in the Avatar state at that moment, had it been possible? Of course not! He’s young and he’s hurt and as such he says something dramatic to convey his anxieties and frustrations. The line is not meant to be taken literally, and seeing people do so despite all the factors that should be taken into consideration when analyzing it… Cue a long, tired sigh from me and so many other A:TLA fans.

And to be honest? I cannot fathom how people watch this episode and come to the conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. To me, this episode - besides being a recap episode - is one that humanizes our cast even further. Aang snaps at Katara, kisses her when he shouldn’t (which the story appropriately treats as wrong). Katara pushes down her true feelings and retreats into herself, afraid to start a relationship with the boy she loves because she’s already lost him once before and can’t bear to do so again. Zuko further confronts the hurt he’s enacted upon others, especially upon Iroh. Toph practices being vulnerable and accepting vulnerability from others by conversing with Zuko. Sokka witnesses how others have erased his contributions and labelled him as nothing more than the token nonbender in the group. Even Suki learns that she is not the only person who holds a place in Sokka’s heart and that she can never replace what he has lost.

To watch this episode where our heroes must come to terms with how the Fire Nation deems them inherently inferior, with how they have more fights to overcome in the future with the Fire Nation than a single war, and to come to the conclusion that… that what, Aang is abusive? A monster? Irredeemable? That he would threaten his best friend, someone he loves in every way?

Wow. That says more than enough about the viewer, doesn’t it?

[quinntheebrain]

Hi there! I was wondering if you could do a jealous bokuto x f!reader (preferably if not then gn! is fine). Like he gets jealous of his bby and kuroo getting along really well... a little too well lmao. Anyways, I hope your day/night is going great ya wonderful person <3

Pairing: Jealous!Bokuto Kōtarō x fem!reader

Warnings: implied alcohol use, a temporarily sad Bokuto, Ummm I curse????

A/N: *deep heavy sigh* I looked over this 1000x lmfao. I’m used to writing fics and not hcs, so they’re probably not the best (I gotta stop doubting myself). I’m always so nervous to share my writings, but this a learning process! Thanks for being my first request. It’s been a while since I wrote anything seriously and shared it. I really hope you enjoy it :) Also, somebody else (who I can’t think of rn) hc that Bokuto doesn’t drink, I just agree wholeheartedly. 

Oh, my precious baby Bokuto. He’s so cute it hurts🥺. 

He gets jealous easily. 

He’s so lively that people naturally gravitate toward him. So, he’s used to being the center of attention. 

Even though the only person’s attention he really cares about is yours.

Bokuto loves the way you look at him when he makes you smile. He loves the feeling of just being in your presence.

So, when he sees you and Kuroo smiling and laughing from across the bar he’s irritated. 

And when the two of you get a little too close for comfort, he’s fuming

...but for some reason, I feel like he wouldn’t say anything

Now, Bokuto would normally shut that shit down instantly.

But it’s Kuroo, his closest friend. He doesn’t want any kind of confrontation. He doesn’t want to cause a scene (I believe Bokuto could beat Kuroo’s ass)

So, he says nothing and instead spends the night alternating between super soft/affectionate and super distant. 

He’ll bring it up in private though. Half-jokingly asking if you’d prefer Kuroo to him. 

And when the conversation turns serious 

Don’t invalidate his feelings, don’t make him feel crazy. (he’ll curl up in a ball and it will be a long time before he opens up to you again)

RE-AS-SUR-ANCE!!!!!!!! He needs it; he will die without it. Please just tell this boy how much you love him. 

And please believe he doesn’t blame you alone. He talks to Kuroo after he talks to you.

Because next time, Bokuto won’t be so nice :)

This is the third time Kuroo has put his arm around you; Bokuto is counting. He watches you from across the room as he holds a conversation with Akaashi; though, at this point, his friend’s words are nothing more than background noise. 

You are supposed to be with them, but once Kuroo challenges you to a drinking contest, Bokuto knows it’s a lost cause. You promise to join him shortly and though he doesn’t believe you, he nods as if he does. Unlike you, and most of his friends, Bokuto doesn’t drink; he just doesn’t like the taste, but he wants you to have a good time. So, he goes to sit with Akaashi by himself but not before leaning down and pulling you into a soft kiss. Bokuto’s large palm caresses your cheek as his mouth moves delicately against your own; It’s quick and gentle, but it’s effective. His lips linger on yours just long enough to leave you wanting more; it’s a reminder that he’ll be waiting for you. 

But, 15 minutes have passed and you’re still glued to Kuroo’s side. 

Now, you’re a giggling mess, teasing one of your boyfriend’s closest friends, who seems to be enjoying the attention a little too much. The rest of their volleyball buddies watch and laugh, most of them far too inebriated to find anything wrong with the way the two of you are interacting. Bokuto, on the other hand, finds everything wrong with it. He watches you with narrow eyes and tightly clenched fists, trying his hardest to keep his composure.

“Your jealousy is showing,” Akaashi smirks at his best friend; Bokuto hasn’t been listening to a word he says. He wants to tease him about it but now doesn’t seem like the time. “Why don’t you just tell them it’s bothering you?” 

“They’re not doing it on purpose,” Bokuto sighs as he unclenches his fists, wiggling his fingers to crack his knuckles. “Besides, there was a time she couldn’t even be in the same room as Kuroo. I’m glad they’re friends now and if I say something I might ruin it.” he looks away from you and instead focuses on the ground. 

“Forget about Kuroo,” Akaashi says, slightly irritated. “What about you? If you don’t talk to her, you might ruin your relationship. You don’t want to harbor resentment toward the one you love,” Akaashi glances at Bokuto, who is unable to reply. They stand in silence for a short time. Akaashi doesn’t want to bombard Bokuto with advice; he knows that sometimes, a few thoughtful words are enough. “Look, it’ll be okay. I have to go.” Akaashi pats Bokuto’s shoulder, leaving him alone to think about the situation. 

Bokuto is truly happy that you and Kuroo have finally learned to get along but deep down, a part of him wishes the two of you never stopped the incessant bickering; part of him wishes that you still disliked Kuroo and he disliked you. Maybe, the petty arguments were nothing but an attempt to mask the attraction you felt toward each other but honestly, that’s what Bokuto would prefer. Because what’s happening now — you and Kuroo openly fawning over each other — is driving him crazy. 

I’m just imagining things, he thinks to himself. Maybe, there is no real meaning to the way the two of you are carrying on; but, watching as Kuroo embraces you in a hug that lingers a little longer than it should doesn’t ease his mind. Your face buried into Kuroo’s chest, his hands pressed firmly against your lower back as he rocks you side to side, it’s a bit more than Bokuto can handle. The thought of you in someone else’s arms so intimately bothers him, and pulling out your phone to take Kuroo’s contact info is the icing on the cake. 

Still, you’d never know how much it affects Bokuto because he approaches you like there’s nothing wrong, and though he tugs you away from Kuroo rather possessively, he does it with the brightest smile. “Alright, ready babe?” He looks down to you with those golden eyes, glimmering with adoration as he places a kiss on your forehead. You nod ‘yes’ quickly. “See you later, bro.” you both wave at his friends once more before the two of you exit the bar. 

A weight lifts from Bokuto’s shoulders as the door shuts behind him; the absence of his best friend shouldn’t put him at ease, but it does. Still, Bokuto has another problem. 

You don’t want to harbor resentment toward the one you love. Akaashi’s words play in his head like a broken record. If he doesn’t settle this now, he never will. His insecurities will continue to fester until he can no longer look at you the same.

“You and Kuroo were pretty cozy tonight,” he fakes a chuckle as he peers at you from the corner of his eye. “I’m glad you two are so close now.”

“Cozy?” you scrunch up your face. You could count the number of times Kuroo touched you on one hand (which was still too many for Bokuto).  You will admit that you spent an unusual amount of time with Kuroo, but he’s more entertaining when he’s drunk; it’s actually your favorite time to be around him. “Hardly. If anything,” you pause, “Wait a minute. Ko, are you jealous?” you manage to suppress your smile, but there's a hint of amusement in your tone. 

He doesn’t answer your question; it’s embarrassing enough to even be feeling this way and for you to call him out so quickly only makes it worse. He takes a deep breath, “Y/N,” Bokuto’s voice is barely above a whisper. “Do you ever think you’d be better off with Kuroo? I mean the two of you actually have a lot in common, and I just think-” the words sound crazy now that he’s finally saying them out loud. 

“No,” you say sternly and confidently, cutting off your boyfriend before he has the chance to ramble on. It’s reassuring how quick you are to shut the notion down. “Besides, we really only have one thing in common,” you pause in your tracks, forcing Bokuto to stop and look at you. 

“What’s that?”

“We both love you so much,” you can’t help but smile as you speak. Bokuto has such amazing people in his life and that warms your heart. “We would never try to hurt you; I would never try to hurt you. I’m so sorry for even making you feel like that.” the apology is sincere. Your glossy eyes are a giveaway. “If I haven’t made this clear, you are the only one for me. It’s you and me, together forever,” he wipes away a single tear; you hadn’t even realized you were crying. You never wanted to make him feel this way; he’s never sounded so defeated. Was he going to just hand you over to his best friend? Did he think you would accept that? “But really, Kuroo?” you pretend to vomit to lighten the mood. It makes you both laugh, something you desperately needed. 

“I love you,” Bokuto sighs in relief.  

“I love you too.” flinging your arms around his neck, you kiss him. 

There’s something almost enchanting about the way he immediately takes the lead. He doesn’t care about the taste of liquor that lingers in your mouth or the fact that you still smell like Kuroo’s cologne; at this moment, Bokuto only cares about you. His lips glide over yours passionately, yet ever so gently; your tongue sporadically teases his bottom lip, his teeth occasionally nibble on yours. It’s a steady rhythm that makes you weak in the knees. His hands find their way to your waist, then to your back, sliding down until they’re secure in your back pockets. 

Bokuto pulls away, pressing his forehead against yours. “Let’s get home, yeah?” he squeezes your ass before he removes his hands from your pocket; intertwining his fingers with yours, Bokuto starts to walk again. 

“Yeah,” you repeat with a smile on your face, nodding eagerly as he pulls you down the sidewalk. 

[avmisworld]

NCT when a member catches you making out:

a/n I’M GONNA MISS MY 23 CRACKHEADS TOGETHER TT

TAEIL

The two of you are probably sitting on the bed in his room, just kissing slowly and sweetly, when Haechan barges into the room, most likely going to ask for cuddles from the oldest member, catching the two of you red-handed. Taeil will probably be pretty straightforward despite his embarrassment, pulling away from you before sending the awkward member a smile that doesn't seem to match the situation, asking him to leave the room. After Haechan leaves, he'll probably laugh it off and the two of you will resume the make out session, but he'll be more alert, keeping his eyes slightly open in case another youngster walks into the wrong room. 

"Can you please leave? And close the door behind you."

JOHNNY

The two of you are probably on the couch in the living room of the dorm, kissing lazily, when Mark walks through. "Yo, Johnny, you won't believe-", Mark's excited speech gets cut off in the middle when he sees the two of you making out, and he coughs violently before turning around, mumbling apologies on his way out. Johnny on the other hand, doesn't care less, continuing to kiss you without hesitation, tightening his hold on your waist and pulling you closer when you try to push him away, your face bright red from the embarrassment, promising that nobody else will catch you, saying anything just to keep kissing you.

"Mark Lee isn't going to distract me from 'dem lips."

TAEYONG

Oh no, this baby. When Doyoung walks in the bedroom, where you and Taeyong are lying on the bed, you on top of him and his hands around your waist, holding you close, Taeyong practically leaps off the bed at the sight of his friend, pushing you off of him in the process. "I'm so sorry, sorry-", your boyfriend says frantically, trying his hardest to smooth down his messy hair while walking towards Doyoung, who looks like he regrets everything lmao. "It's okay, hyung. I'll just-", Doyoung points to the door awkwardly before rushing out the room, leaving you and your red-faced boyfriend alone. You sigh playfully, reaching forward to hug your boyfriend, placing your head in the crook of his neck. "Well, that sort of killed the mood." Your boyfriend apologizes to you, and he'll be extra careful from now on, always locking the door or making sure the dorm is empty when you want some time to yourselves.

"Are you okay? I think I yeeted you off of me."

YUTA

When Taeyong enters the kitchen to grab a cup of water, it's already the middle of the night, the only reason you'd ever agree to making out with your boyfriend at such a public place. Taeyong lets out a strange giggle when he sees your compromising situation, with you perched on the marble counter and Yuta between your legs, his large hands on your thighs as you kiss passionately. The two of you break apart at the high pitched sound, and you turn red immediately when your eyes catch the leader's embarrassed face. Yuta doesn't seem to share your thoughts, smiling cockily at his member, almost like he wanted to be seen, his hands not moving an inch from your smooth skin. It probably motivates him to kiss you even more intensely after the older leaves.

"Are you going to keep standing here and watch the show?"

DOYOUNG

When Jungwoo skips into Doyoung's bedroom, saying something about going out to eat, he doesn't expect to see the two of you sitting on the edge of the bed, kissing languidly, your boyfriend cupping your face gently. "Oopsie", the tall man says with a smile, and Doyoung sighs before the younger can start teasing him, shooting the gleeful guy a glare. "Please leave.", he says, pointing at the door, and Jungwoo swings around, walking out the room with a light-hearted laugh and a not so sincere apology. After that the two of you will probably go back to making out, but Doyoung would probably be a bit out of it, murmuring complaints between kisses about rude members who barge into rooms without knocking and how Jungwoo will never let him live this down. 

"Is my room a free estate or something? These kids, seriously."

KUN

Kun's bedroom door opens slowly, and you pull away from your boyfriend, who you were making out with for the last few minutes, soft, playful kisses that left butterflies in your stomach. Kun doesn't look too bothered by Winwin, standing awkwardly at the entrance to the room. He apologizes to the younger and asks him what he needs, to which the other responds by pointing at his black backpack leaning by the door, grabbing it before scurrying out the room quickly. After he gets out, your boyfriend shrugs, a slight blush on his cheeks before he goes back to kissing you slowly. It probably doesn't affect him too much, he's rational, he lives with twenty other grown guys and knows that these things are bound to happen.

"Is it really that weird that couples kiss?"

TEN

Ten is kissing you gently, hands on your waist, and you're too lost in the feeling of his lips, moving so gracefully against yours, to notice the maknae of WayV entering the room, probably to annoy his older member. Yangyang stops walking when he sees the two of you, but doesn't move just yet, obviously wanting to tease your boyfriend, who still doesn't move from you, ignoring the younger boy. When the brown-haired boy still stays in his spot, your lover pulls away, glaring at the younger and telling him to get out of the room in the most straightforward way possible. The member leaves then, giggling to himself slightly, and Ten simply sighs before going back to kissing you, even more passionately now, as if he already managed to miss you during this short time. 

"Get out. We're in the middle of something here."

JAEHYUN

You're in Jaehyun's lap, your thighs splayed on either side of him, his hands on your waist and his lips on yours, kissing you passionately, when Johnny jogs into his room, skidding to a stop when he sees the scene in front of him. Your boyfriend doesn't even notice, too in the moment to realize the presence in the room, and he furrows his eyebrows in confusion when you detach your lips from his, following your gaze to his friend, who has a small smirk playing on his lips. He would probably be a bit annoyed, not to the point of actual anger, but he'd throw a snarky remark, watching as Johnny leaves the room before going back to kiss you, rougher this time, making sure you forget about the distraction.

"Do people not knock on doors nowadays?"

WINWIN

You're sitting in the living room of WayV's dorm, cuddled into Sicheng, who's hands are wrapped around you, holding you close to him. His lips are on yours, moving gently, almost shyly, and you tilt your head up to kiss him better, your boyfriend letting out a soft noise at your sudden neediness. "How cute~~", Win-win pulls away from you at the sound of the fond voice, face changing color to red rapidly at the sight of Ten, who seems to think it's not such a big deal, crossing the living room and heading to the kitchen while your boyfriend splutters, explaining himself to no one in particular. After that he'll probably still be super embarrassed, and you'll have to tell him you love him and cuddle him to calm him down uwu.

"I didn't think he'd come back from recording so fast…"

JUNGWOO

You don't know how the two of you went from a pillow fight to a make out session, but you're now propped on your side with your boyfriend doing the same in front of you, kissing you messily, his hands running over your sides before tangling in your hair. The sound of a door opening knocks the two of your out of your daze, Jungwoo releasing you immediately with a squeak of surprise, letting out a nervous laugh when he sees Yuta standing at the doorway to his room, his eyebrows cocked and a teasing glint in his eyes. Before Jungwoo can start talking, Yuta is already leaving the room, yelling behind his back a teasing, "Just be safe!", and your boyfriend turns red, burying his face in your neck. You won't continue making out after that, but Jungwoo would be very concerned about you, continuously apologizing for what happened and acting sweeter than usual the whole day.

"I'll lock the door next time, I'm sorry!"

LUCAS

Your boyfriend is kissing you hungrily, hovering over you on his bed, his hands on either side of your head and his long legs tangled with yours. The two of you are too caught up in the moment to notice anyone or anything, Lucas' kisses leaving you a breathless mess while he devotes his attention to you, moving his lips almost fiercely. "Lucas, let the girl breathe", a teasing voice says from the entrance to the room, and Lucas pulls away from you, turning his head to look at a cocky-looking Hendery, his eyes glinting with mischief. Your boyfriend blushes immediately, pulling away from you with a shy smile, and Hendery winks slyly before grabbing a white towel hanging on the doorknob and walking out of the room, yelling behind him a teasing 'Have fun!' Lucas starts laughing after his friend is gone, the tips of his ears now completely red and a shy expression on his face, and you laugh as well, placing one last kiss on his now-swollen lips before pulling away, understanding that he is too shy to continue your session.

"He just walked in on us!" *giggles*

MARK

Mark's going to panic for sure lmao. This dude will never dare to kiss you in front of the members, always saving the affection and skinship for when you're alone, so when Jaehyun walks into his room, calling him to come eat dinner, only to find the younger and you sitting on the bed, holding hands and kissing passionately, your boyfriend is very flustered, pulling away immediately and stumbling over his words. Jaehyun doesn't seem too fazed, smiling teasingly as he watches Mark stutter, his face bright red as he promises to be there in a second, trying his best to act like nothing happened. When Jaehyun finally leaves the room, taking pity on the younger, Mark collapses against you, too paranoid to continue your session.

"Did I make things awkward?"

XIAOJUN

You were listening to Xiaojun play on his guitar, his soft voice seeping through your bones, before you couldn't take it anymore, leaning in to press a kiss to his tempting pink lips. Your boyfriend doesn't seem too surprised, kissing you back immediately, so romantic it seems like you're in some sort of K-drama, his lips enveloping yours perfectly. You've been doing this for a few minutes now, but a sudden noise causes you to pull away from each other, turning to the bedroom door where Lucas was trying to creep out, walking on his tiptoes to not disturb you, but he accidentally caused a charger to fall off the desk, and he was now smiling at the two of you sheepishly, a nervous giggle leaving his lips. Your boyfriend glares at the older member, pointing at the door in a silent command to leave the room, and the taller man mumbles an apology before closing the door behind him quietly. Sighing to himself, Xiaojun turns back to kiss you, a bit harder now that he was pissed off by the interruption.

"Basic manners, is that too much to ask for?"

HENDERY

You're lying on top of Hendery, cupping his face gently as you make out, Hendery kissing you excitedly, moving from sloppy kisses to tickling pecks that leave you with a smile on your face. The two of you hear the door to the bed room opening, but your boyfriend doesn't seem to care at all, reaching a hand up to move your face back to face him when you try to sneak a peek at the intruder. The door closes soon after, and you pull away from your lover momentarily, asking him who came in, and he says it was Win-win, laughing slightly when he thinks about how embarrassed the older must have been. The two of you laugh for a bit before going back to kissing, not thinking too much about the incident. 

"At least he knows you're mine now."

RENJUN

Renjun is kissing you slowly, his hands cupping your cheeks gently, thumbs running over the soft skin, when Chenle barges into the room, racing frantically, probably running away from one of the older members who he managed to piss off. Your boyfriend pulls away, coughing loudly to get the younger boy's attention, who's still giggling into his hand, not noticing that he intruded something. "Oh", Chenle raises his head, finally noticing his hyung's glare and your blush. "Sorry." Renjun groans in annoyance as his fellow member leaves the room, mumbling something under his breath before going back to kiss you, but his kisses are probably harder now, conveying his concealed anger, and so are the hands on your waist.

"Do I have to go back to China to have a second of privacy?"

JENO

When Renjun enters the bedroom, Jeno has you on your back, his broad body pressing you deep into the soft mattress, your lips connected as you kiss gently, a result of you trying to tackle your boyfriend, and failing, obviously. You try to push your boyfriend off of you, your now open eyes catching a glimpse of Renjun's slowly reddening ears and obvious wince of regret, but Jeno leans even more into you, mumbling against your lips a soft "pretend he's not here", and you let out a breathy laugh, wrapping your hands around your boyfriend's neck and watching as Renjun leaves the room, saying under his breath: "Who needs shoes anyway. I'll just walk barefoot to the practice room." When the door closes behind him, Jeno laughs into your mouth, and the two of you keep kissing, while making sure not to take it farther.

"It'll be even more awkward if we stop now."

HAECHAN

When Taeil walks into your boyfriend's bedroom, he can't help but smile at the sight of you and Haechan, sitting on the floor of his bedroom where you were previously gaming, your crossed legs touching and the younger's hands tangled in your dark hair. You know your boyfriend noticed the intruder, his lips stopping their movement momentarily, but he doesn't pull away, keeping his mouth on yours until you hear the door closing, signaling Taeil left the room. The second he leaves, Haechan snorts against your lips, his face flushed red as he pulls back from you, giving away his embarrassment despite him trying to act unbothered in front of you. The two of you are probably too busy laughing to continue your make out session, but it's okay.

"Ohmygod, I didn't know what to do!"

JAEMIN

You were playing with Jaemin's hair, his head in your lap, when he suddenly sits up, kissing you gently on your lips, his hands pulling you closer by your small waist. The cute kiss somehow turned heated, and now you were practically making out, your legs thrown on either side of your boyfriend's body, fingers tangled in his blonde locks. "Jaemin, do you know where my comb is?" Jeno asks as he flings the door open, and Jaemin doesn't even try to answer, continuing to kiss you as if nothing happened before pulling away and shooting his frozen friend a mischievous smile. "What was that, Jeno?", he asks nonchalantly as you laugh at the older's disgusted face, burying your head in your boyfriend's shoulder. After the older leaves, your boyfriend would go back to kissing you, softer this time, leaving little pecks all over your face and mumbling compliments against your lips in a soft voice, the sexy mood now gone.

"My Jagiya~~"

YANGYANG

"Yangyang!", Xiaojun bursts into the room, making your boyfriend pull away from your lips, stopping the passionate make out you were having, your legs thrown over Yanyang's lap and his hands on the small of your back, pressing you closer to him. Your boyfriend isn't too fazed, but he's impatient, asking the older what he wants but still holding you to him, his hands not leaving you for a second. Understanding the maknae isn't in the mood to talk right now, Xiaojun leaves the room, and your boyfriend doesn't even wait for the door to close entirely before he's back to kissing you, desperate and and even more passionate than before.

"This better be a life-or-death situation."

SHOTARO

You and Shotaro are in the practice room, sitting on the shiny floor and kissing softly after you watched your boyfriend work on the choreo to NCT's newest song, admiring his amazing dance talent. Shotaro is timid in his movements, almost innocent, giggling against your lips cutely and holding your hands. You pull away from each other when the door opens suddenly, Sungchan walking in. "Oh… I thought Haechan hyung was here", the younger says with an apologetic tone, turning around swiftly and walking out the room, leaving you and your shy boyfriend behind. Shotaro apologizes to you for not being careful enough, asking if you want to continue, but his face is red and he lets out little giggles out of embarrassment, so you don't resume your actions from before, choosing to coddle him instead, laughing fondly at your boyfriend's adorable behavior.

"This is so embarrassing! I'm sorry~"

SUNGCHAN

You're trapped between the wall and your boyfriend, one of his hands cupping your cheek, while the other strokes your hipbone. Sungchan kisses confidently, like he does everything else, his lips moving naturally against yours like they were meant to be there. The two of you pull away when you hear the door opening, Shotaro's head sticking into the room carefully, before seeing your position and blushing slightly. Sungchan isn't too embarrassed by being caught, greeting the other nonchalantly, but he moves away from you, playing with his fingers in slight awkwardness. "Taeyong hyung told me to ask you if you want him to make you lunch?", the older member asks shyly, and Sungchan smiles, nodding in thanks as he watches the other leave the room. He probably won't continue the make out session after that, waiting for a more private time.

"Oh, hyung, do you need something?"

CHENLE

Chenle leaves another kiss on your mouth, giggling into the kiss as you laugh as well, curling even more into his warm body and pulling the soft blanket around you even more. The two of you were supposed to be watching a movie, but you've been spending more time kissing each other and laughing at nothing. You pull away from your boyfriend's lips when the light in the living room suddenly comes on, blinding the two of you and making Chenle pull away with a confused noise, eyes blinking rapidly as he tries to see the person who disturbed you. Jisung is standing in the entrance to the room, his hand still on the switch and his face bright red as he understands the situation he caught his best friend in. "Yah, can't you see we're on a date here?", Chenle scolds him, and Jisung seems to snap out of his trance, mumbling apologies as he backs up, almost crashing into the wall. After that you don't go back to making out, settling for cuddles on the couch until you fall asleep.

"Jisung, you’re lucky you’re cute."

JISUNG

Jisung wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer to him while you wrap your own thin arms around his neck, burying your fingers in your hair. After not seeing your boyfriend for a long time due to the previous comeback, a good make out session is exactly what you needed. "Oh, sexy~", the two of you jump away from each other at the sound of the deep voice, turning your head to meet a grinning Jaemin, his arms clasped in front of his chest and fondness evident in his eyes. Jisung turns red when he sees his member, immediately stuttering and stumbling over his words as he tries to explain the situation, before understanding it's hopeless and staring at the ground until his hyung goes away, still cooing and talking about 'young love'. He'll probably be shy for the rest of the day afterwards, and he'll need lots of affection from you to get over his embarrassment. 

"H-hyung! Me and Y/N were j-just-"

[imagineredwood]

I know Emily is the white devil on earth and you hate her (don't get me wrong, not a fan of her at all) and everything but allow me to tell you how much I'm PISSED with Miguel the most, I mean, he is losing his damn mind, first he is killng innocent people, making war with the cartels, then he goes to the point of cheating on his wife who is also struggling with her mental health and taking care of her son, he demands her to be a good mother when he does 0 effort on being a good parent aswell

I mean...I get what you’re trying to say, I do, but like let us not forget that Miguel had a child murdered alongside his father, burned to a crisp, and left in the middle of a plaza to instill fear in people. As attractive or charismatic as he may be, he’s still a cartel leader and an objectively terrible human being that’s moral compass is skewed at best and non existent at worst. He’s been killing innocent people and steadily ruining lives since the beginning, just like his father did before him and just like his mother did. So I feel like with all of the evil things he’s done, it’s just strange to me that cheating on his negligent wife is where people seem to draw the line 👀

Emily’s mental health is struggling because the consciously selfish decisions she’s made have come to bite her in the ass and she’s not used to having to deal with consequences. And the reason she struggles to be a mother to her son is because she’s never been a true mother to him a day in her life. Dita and the nanny’s were Cristobal’s mother figures, not her. Now that both of those options are gone, she’s lost and struggling because she’s gotten away with being a mom when it was convenient for her. In my opinion, Emily is one of those moms that simply gave birth, but isn’t actually a mother at heart. Not to say that she couldn’t grow to become one, but she doesn’t have it presently and that’s because she always pushed that responsibility on Dita and her nanny’s, which she then wanted to turn around and disrespect/verbally abuse when they didn’t worship her and the ground she walked on. So I think Miguel figures that since he’s the one with the brains and the one that consistently tries to, in his mind, do what’s needed to keep his family safe while she does...the opposite, the least she can to is try to be a decent mother, but even that’s too much to ask of her. So it’s like 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think Miguel had his rose colored glasses snatched off with Dita’s death and now that he’s being forced to confront the reality of what his life is, he can’t really tolerate Emily’s pointlessness anymore, at least not like he could in the previous seasons.

*And for the record, if y’all don’t agree that’s perfectly fine and cool, but y’all already know how I feel about her and her thought process so please don’t come up in my inbox trying to convince me to like her lmao*

[uservillanelle]

Killing Eve ― 3x03 (Review)

Alriiight clowns, who’s ready for some 3x03 discussion? I don’t even remember how many times I’ve seen the episode already, but there are still some points I’d like to point out/talk about. So let’s get started!

Andalusia

As bad as it sounds, I enjoy seeing Villanelle do her job. It’s exactly where the show can show off some really incredible places in the world and of course explore different, creative ways of killing someone. However, this time in particular I don’t think it was realistic enough the way they did it. I mean, what kind of strength does Villanelle need to have in order to throw the tuning fork like that and instantly kill a person? You’d think it would take a lot more effort to have the tuning fork pierce human skull. No? 

Anyways, another thing is the nanny that Villanelle also killed. I believe only the pianist was her target, since she appeared to be rather taken aback by hearing the baby’s cries through the baby monitor. She didn’t expect anyone else to be in the house. She could’ve easily left without anyone seeing her, but she didn’t. “You really like that baby, huh? It’s not even yours.” So this kind of explains why she killed the nanny, since the baby wasn’t hers? But then again... I think this scene was needed for her to be able to take the baby and eventually this thing would escalate into her need to find her family. 

The Bathroom

Carolyn and Mo are analysing the circumstances of Kenny’s death. And what’s better way to do it than in a bathtub? Classic Carolyn. This reminds me of Villanelle’s “I have a thing for bathrooms, actually.” One of the recurring themes that the show expresses in such a natural way. 

The fact that the head of MPS still claims that it was suicide despite the lack of note or motivation. Makes me wonder just how many more cases like these are marked as ‘suicide’ when in reality there’s a lot more to the story to uncover. KE is really into all this shady stuff, hm?

Eve is SO done with Carolyn this season. She deserves it though, after betraying Eve but it is just so satisfying for me, at least, to watch them interact with this new formed dynamic. It’s refreshing that Eve was in a way replaced by Mo, who now is basically Carolyn’s assistent and not Eve. She did make her point for not wanting to work for Carolyn anymore, so she found someone else, while Eve is still active and in the game, just in her own way. Gotta love independent Eve Polastri.

Meetings Have Biscuits

Eve is really taking charge this season, not gonna lie. She basically set up this whole meeting, invited Jamie (whose name I constantly keep forgetting) and even ordered everybody on what they should be doing since neither Carolyn nor Jamie showed the initiative to work with one another. “You can have a biscuit when you tell me what the point of you is.” GOLDEN LINE!! I don’t usually agree with Carolyn, but YES! I’m not really sure what is Jamie’s role here. You can have Bear, who already helped to solve the rubbik cube’s puzzle while Jamie did what, exactly? I have a bad feeling about him but I’m not going to say it just yet... in case I’m wrong and do I hope I am.

Young mother with baby and grandma

I absolutely ADORED this scene in all ways. We got to see Villanelle interact with an actual baby without her doing any harm to him! That’s a rare gem we might not get to see again, so let’s appreciate it! Not only that but we got to see A BABY interact with A BABY. Villanelle’s a literal child and I love her to pieces. 

Ever since Villanelle found out that Eve’s alive she’s been back on her BS just like Dasha said and apparently it’s been DAYS. “What got into you?” So.. Dasha doesn’t know that Villanelle knows about Eve. Meaning Dasha is not communicating with Konstantin and probably doesn’t know about Eve. Then again, last episode she and Villanelle did have a talk about how she can’t go down the same road again. So is Dasha pretending not to know what’s going on or she truly isn’t aware?

Villanelle gets her next postcard. It’s London. She freaks out and we all know exactly why. Yeah, it’s like, WE also should be freaking out about it because Villanelle will be going to London in episode 3. Eve and Villanelle usually got her first reunion in episode 5 in previous seasons. So it does feel too soon and that’s exactly what Villanelle says next. “I’m not ready! How about that?” Of course she needs to prepare first. She’s extra like that. Not only she says it but she is actually nervous and her body language is TOO loud about it. 

This brings me to my next point... Dasha sees just how much of a mess Villanelle is and proceeds to “encourage” her once she hears that she’s not ready. “All you need is anorak and a face like cheese”. Okay, hear me out. Last episode Dasha and Villanelle were having a conversation about Felix and how Villanelle will have to “guide” him, encourage him and make him believe that he “can be good”. This is exactly what she’s doing with Villanelle now, or am I seeing things? Last time Villanelle picked up on that, this time she doesn’t because she’s too invested in thinking about Eve and preparation. Then she agrees with Dasha and we see her give this sort of satisfying look which only indicates just how twisted she is. I mean she can’t be that stupid to not realize why Villanelle is the way she is... and STILL encourage her to go to London. Like.. I’m sure The Twelve has many more assassins up their sleeve so why not send someone else to London instead? No. It has to be Villanelle for the show’s sake. It has to be Villanelle because EVE is there and the idea of the Twelve possibly wanting to recruit Eve keeps appealing to me more and more... this might not be the case at all but why would both sides keep setting Eve and Villanelle up even after they seemed to be “over” one another?

On a lighter note, Dasha placing the baby in the trash bin is the most hilarious thing I’ve seen. INCLUDING Villanelle’s reaction. Sooo damn good, but it didn’t seem like anyone saw Dasha do it at first. It’s only later when someone heard the baby crying, people showed up. This show man.. there’s nothing else like KE in television and it’s a fact.

Eve

Let me just start with “But before I go on, you have to understand that once I tell you about them, your lives are in danger.” “Then don’t tell us.” “They’re called The Twelve.” Eve’s really not giving a shit about anything as it seems LMAO! I mean, at least she gave them a warning beforehand? This is yet another recurring trait of Eve’s. She doesn’t care about other’s needs except her own. It happened plenty of times back in S2 and it happened in this season. For example when she called Kenny and asked about the drinks and as soon as she got the answer she needed from him, she hung up not giving a chance for Kenny to say anything. Then now, and the way she treated Mo once she asked if he could trace the Geneva account for them. This reminds me of a scene in S2 where Eve basically ordered Kenny to help her find Villanelle by saying “you work for me.” This is exactly what she’s doing with Mo now. “Did you take this job thinking it would be easier? If you did. quit now. Cause it’s only getting tougher.” This is her own way of manipulation and getting what SHE wants. She even did it with Villanelle back in 2x05 when she asked for her help while interrogating the ghost. She did it and basically had to ASK Eve for a ‘thank you’ which wasn’t even genuine from Eve’s part. It’s not the best thing to have or do... yet I’m not sure if Eve is even aware of what she’s doing or when she does it. Hopefully it won’t cause major trouble further into the story. Hopefully.

The time has finally come. Eve is finally beginning to realize and hopefully accept her feelings for Villanelle. I’m not saying she was in denial before, but more like avoiding the topic in general. Until this episode. I mean the sexual tension between her and Villanelle whenever they meet and especially in this episode was WAY too strong for her to handle and she went for it. She went for the kiss which, can mean a million things, like Sandra mentioned in one recent interview. It can mean she went for it to catch Villanelle off guard, it can mean that she simply gave into the temptation... and accepted the fact that yes, she IS attracted to the assassin and this way unlocked this very personal character journey we are about to see. After meeting Villanelle she still went to the office and all she said was “I don’t want to talk about it.” Clearly it all was too much for her, as it was FOR US, so it’s understandable. But when she came back home and got instantly paranoid, thinking Villanelle was there just got me thinking of just how big of an effect does Villanelle have on Eve. She definitely caught Villanelle’s strong scent there... and then the recording. Sure, she was scared and angry and at first turned it off ASAP. But something changed soon afterwards... something that made her turn the recording back on and bring it to her ear... and close her eyes while taking in Villanelle’s voice. She IS admitting and she DOES wish Villanelle was there. This was a moment where she had time to process everything on her own without anyone else around her. She needed this... and the reveal is just so delicious. I’m sure we all know how the episode really ended, huh?

Now that the reunion happened and Eve found out that Niko apparently discharged himself from the fascility and moved back to Poland, I’m very intrigued to see just how much will Eve and Niko’s dynamic change. Will she still try to get Niko to come back? Try to convince him that there is still a chance for the two of them? Or is she only going to visit him to tie the loose ends and be done with the guy? I do think that the kiss and the meeting itself changed things for her so I cannot wait to see just how her and Niko’s relationship will escalate/end. Niko, on the other hand, is still pretty much UNSTABLE and he’ll cause trouble. I’m telling right now. This is no good so I hope Eve will leave him as soon as she comes and be done with him since she DOES deserve better than him, too.

The Accountant

First, I’m actually glad Suzanne decided to dive deeper into the core of The Twelve. Last season we didn’t really get enough of information about them and this one seems to be way more focused on it. Meaning the story is moving forward. And by story I mean the actual plot. 

Sergei Korchmarev. AKA Charles Kruger. As far as I understood he was the one to stole 6 million euros from the Twelve WHILE working for them? He did that and then asked Konstantin to get him the money to “buy him some time” to find the “scoundrel”. So 6 million wasn’t enough for him, hm? Why do I have a feeling he’s been stealing the money for something bigger than his own greed? It has to be for something “bigger” but then again, guess we won’t be able to find out as Villanelle blew his brains out. 

Again, both Konstantin and Carolyn knew him so that makes me even more suspicious. They seem to be working on different sides now but who knows really? This whole thing just keeps me on my toes, as it should but I want to know a bit more of this whole situation. We are left in the dark and we’ve been there for the past two seasons.

Villanelle

Villanelle in the perfume shop is the definition of a drama queen. Period. The way she described the custom scent she’d like was so captivating and telling. Like, she knew exactly what she wanted and that’s power. Smelling like Roman centurion means smelling like power. “I want to make people gag with it.” It has to be THAT strong, she wants people to know just how much strength she’s carrying, but most importantly Eve. “Well, we have some lovely floral fragrances for ladies over here.” “Maybe I should describe to you what I’m thinking.” OF COURSE he had to suggest some “lovely floral fragnance for LADIES” which is the complete opposite of what Villanelle describes next. So the overly too big suit that she chose to dress to meet Eve should have that very scent sshe was talking about. After all, she does see herself as a warrior.

I wonder if them throwing a baby in this episode is the only reason for Villanelle to have this need to find her family. Sure, Konstantin hinted last season that some members of her family are still alive and right now he doesn’t seem too keen on helping Villanelle find them. Though, knowing that she will be going to Russia in 3x05 means that Konstantin, or someone else, will find out about the location of her family memebers in next episode. It should really be interesting because we haven’t seen Villanelle interact with ANY family members before. Plus... I have a feeling they will force for OKSANA to come to the surface yet again and I am here for it. 

I can’t help but point out, yet again, that after receiving the postcard, Villanelle went to London to buy perfume in preparation for the reunion with Eve, then went to the toy’s shop where she bought a talking bear and a very adorable bear shirt for herself and THEN went to meet Eve. Only afterwards all that she actually went after her target, which should be the main reason why she was in London in the first place. Love comes first for Villanelle. Job after. That’s ironic, because the previous two seasons everything was about JOB for Eve. She let her marriage fall into pieces but she didn’t stop working and obsessing over Villanelle.

Can we just appreciate Villanelle in police officer’s uniform? I mean... she can kill whoever the hell she wants if she will be wearing that. Almost makes me want to be arrested by a cop lmao!!

The bus scene

It’s been over 4 days since the episode came out and I STILL cannot believe we got a villaneve reunion AND A KISS!! Like... I was worried the scene would be too random and I didn’t want that. It was random. That’s why it was so surprising for all of us, because we couldn’t expect them to meet so soon and on a bus. There were no indications we will see them meet and that worked really well.

At the same time I feel like if we cut out the bus scene from the episode, the main plot wouldn’t be affected. This scene could easily be replaced with another one while this one could be thrown in next episode or have them meet in second episode if they found out about each other during the premiere. That’s why I don’t like that aspect... I wish the scene was there because it was NEEDED to be in that episode at that time, you know? It’s only about the placement. I wonder why they decided to include it in this particular episode. 

Other than that the scene itself was PERFECT!! I made a separate in depth post/anaylsis of the scene HERE in case you haven’t read it yet! 

Carolyn

I’m soo glad that we’re finally seeing more of Carolyn investigating things openly for us, viewers. The previous two seasons we barely saw anything she did because she was THAT private and had so many secrets we could only wonder what the hell she’s thinking or doing. Now, though... we can see she’s working on Kenny’s case and is actually trying to solve this mystery surrounding his death. That includes her setting up the meeting with one of her former lovers, Henrik, to find out about the Geneva account. 

Now, I was soo sure Villanelle would go after her so I kind of was prepared to lose Carolyn or have her escape somehow. None of that happened, though they did make us worry for a minute or two during which Carolyn wasn’t moving and had blood/bruises on one side of her head. Again, Villanelle is THAT extra to go through the trouble to nearly shoot Carolyn only to get to the accountant. And we actually got to see Carolyn fearing for her life despite having met Villanelle several times. She knew what Villanelle was capable of so the aftermath of this helped us see that she indeed had feelings but often decided to ignore/avoid them and this way stay in denial. “I’m fine” says a woman who looks like a mess and is shaking at the same time. It’s okay to admit things, Carolyn. 

Overall Thoughts

The first two episodes were there to set the entire plot up, including Eve and Villanelle find out about one another and now that they know... shit’s going down and this episode was definitely the strongest one this season so far. This is very promising since the episode was written by Laura Neal, who will be the showrunner for S4! 

We got to see plenty of action, funny moments, AT LEAST 6 different Villanelle outfits and we got a moment with her and actual baby. PLUS VILLANEVE KISS!! What else could we want?! 

As always, if any of you guys have any predictions/thoughts on previous or future episodes don’t hesitate to ask/message me about them so we could chat and discuss our favorite show together! Thank you guys for reading and see during the review for 3x04 next week!!!