#i kept skipping 10 seconds forward

[vampire-lord-garfield]

i did not learn anything, i refuse to improve as a person. Im going to rewatch Kuroshitsuji season 2, cause i want to character study everyone in Trancy household. I know all the cringy shit will give me -100 mental damage, but I want to search for some more stuff to overanalyze.

Last time i watched it was a decade ago and i don't remember anything from it... pray for me.

[latinokaeya-moving]

jesus fuck ok so i had been falling asleep without realising n i Know some freaky ass scary dream kept on waking me up every like 15 minutes but i kept on forgetting within seconds what it was even abt like all i remembered was the jittery nervousness as i startled back into vague consciousness everytime. ???

[beyondspaceandstars]

Date Night

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: slight frustration but mainly fluff Summary: Nothing seemed to go right with your date night plans... A/N: This is an older one shot (from 2020, omg) that I published on ao3 but never on here! (At least, I hope I didn't! I can't find it if I did, haha) so I edited it a bit and decided to release it into the wild here. it's really short and simple but I think it's sweet :)

You wanted one nice night in with your fiancé. Just one. A simple dinner with a fresh, home-cooked meal, couple glasses of wine, some shitty romantic comedy, all follow by bedtime at 10 p.m. It was all you wanted. It should've been so simple.

But your dream was crumbling to pieces as the minutes, the seconds, went on. 

It started with Bucky calling to say he was running a bit late and wouldn’t be home until later than expected. You wanted to scream and remind him that you’d had this date night planned for weeks but you, luckily, kept your cool and just asked him to come home safely. This was just one little fluke, you could manage that.

So, you started the meal later than you had originally planned. You just really wanted everything to be ready and on the table for when Bucky got home. He deserved that and it should be manageable, right? You could still have a nice dinner together but the movie might have to be skipped.

Everything seemed to be going swimmingly until you got to cooking the main entree: steak. You hadn’t always been the best at cooking much above pasta but hours of watching cooking shows and a couple of YouTube videos gave you just a little bit of confidence... But confidence doesn't always equal skill and next thing you knew, the steaks were burnt. Completely charred and horrendously burnt. Smoke filled the kitchen and the smell was overwhelming. Both pieces of meat were well past saving and it made you wanna rip out your hair. You didn’t even know how it got to this point. The mashed potatoes needed your attention for one second and it all went to hell. 

The only thing you could successfully salvage were the side dishes which consisted of a salad and mashed potatoes. But even those had turned out slightly wrong. Your salad was somehow bitter and the mashed potatoes were runny. Although, yes, they were both edible… But it just wasn’t right. 

Nothing was right.

You groaned as you tried fanning out the smoke from the kitchen, praying the smoke alarm wouldn’t go off. It was literally the last thing you needed on top of how everything else was going tonight. 

You threw the burnt steaks into the trash and filled the greasy, darkened pan with hot water for it to soak in the sink. Scrubbing that was just gonna be the perfect ending, you thought as you ran your hands down your face in frustration. 

You scourged through your pantry, praying you had something to replace the meal as quick as possible when you heard the front door open and shut. You stood at the pantry, staring angrily at your dry goods. You felt a presence creep up behind you and your eyes began to water. You didn’t want to turn around.

"Doll?" Bucky muttered, confusion evident in his voice. 

"Hi, honey," You replied, trying to fight back any tears. "How was the mission?"

"Um, fine." He said. "Are you okay, sweetheart?"

You sighed and closed the pantry door. You turned to face him, folding your arms around yourself in the process, trying to find some comfort. You couldn't help but feel a bit ashamed. A night you had been looking forward to seemed completely ridiculous now. You bit your lip, still trying to fight back the tears as best as you could but it was turning out to be useless.

Bucky’s eyes filled with concern when he saw the state you were in. He reached out and caressed your cheek. The metal of his hand contrasted pleasantly with your warmth. It was a familiar comfort you leaned into. He fully welcomed you in and wrapped his arms firmly around your shoulders. You buried your face into his chest as you wept.

Bucky was silent as you let your emotions finally run through you. He learned that was the best way for you to eventually calm down so he never seemed to mind just holding you when you were upset — so long as it made you feel better.

When you seemed to be slightly settling down, he broke the silence. "Can you tell me what’s wrong?"

You pulled yourself out of his grasp and let your eyes meet his. "I ruined date night."

Your fiancé’s expression morphed into shock. Without saying anything, you knew he completely forgot about the date night. You didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset.

"Date night… Oh, crap, I..."

"Don’t even worry about it," You sighed and walked over to sit at the kitchen island. The area still reeked of burnt meat which just made you wish you were in bed and finished with the day. 

"No, honey, I didn’t mean to I just got caught up-," Bucky fumbled over his words as he raced to follow you. 

"Seriously, can we forget about it?" You pleaded as tears threatened to come back. "I ruined it all anyways."

Bucky sighed. "What do you mean?"

You sniffled as you averted your eyes to the counter top. You traced the marble pattern as you spoke, "I burnt the steaks. Like completely black, charcoal, killed-the-cow-again burnt. Then the mashed potatoes were too creamy and the salad turned out bitter, however the hell that can happen-,"

"Doll…" Bucky cut you off when he saw you begin to ramble. You looked up at him, actually thankful that he cut you off this one time. You could take a breath.

"I just wanted to make a nice meal for you. Like a real meal. Meat, potatoes, the whole nine-yards," you explained. "But I couldn’t do it. I couldn't do something so simple. Are you sure you wanna marry me?"

He let out a low laugh at your question. "Honey, I’d still wanna marry you even if the only thing you could make was cereal."

You sniffled but managed a smile, feeling a bit better at his stance on the situation. He didn't appear to be upset and you were so grateful for that.

"Look," Bucky began, "how about we reschedule date night? I’ll mark it on every calendar and we’ll cook together, okay? Does that sound better? It'll be a real date."

Your heart warmed at the suggestion. You reached out and took his hands in yours. He gladly accepted the gesture as his eyes wandered over you, looking for some sign of approval. 

"That sounds perfect," you replied, your voice getting caught in your throat. Tears were making a comeback but this time, it was happy crying. Your whole body warmed with love for your fiancé and you couldn’t get enough.

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Derek Morgan X Victim child reader P1

Can't believe I've written more than 40 oneshots fir Criminal minds already.

Request: Hello! Could you please do one with Morgan or Spencer x victim (boy) reader? If you don't want to or don't have time it's okay!

Of course I can

This is part 2 ⬇️

Third person pov...

Y/N was tired, he was scared, he was covered in cuts and blood, the 10 year old had been kidnapped and He wasn't going to be let go anytime soon.

It was a few weeks ago when Y/N was walking home from school it was late almost 5pm, the 10 year old had tennis after school, the practise ran late and his parents where still working and older brother was at his part time job, so the boy walked home alone, he was careful and kept to well lit roads and stayed near homes.

Weeks before when the killings first started the FBI were called in as a serial killer was out kidnapping kids when they are alone, Y/Ns school had gotten a visit from the agents themselves and they told them what to do if it happened to them.

They also gave them a profile of the killer. He was a while male, in his late 30s, he would seem quiet, trusting and liked kids a little to much, but was quick to anger and would use force if his victim wouldn't listen, he was a preferential killer and only took and killed young boys aged 10 to 13.

His house wasn't far from the school, the boy was thirsty as he was getting his water out of the bag someone from behind approached him, the boy looked out of the corner of his E/C eyes, he saw a man, he had a friendly smile on his face as he watched Y/N, it was creepy.

"Hey there, you okay son" he asks Y/N nods slowly not trusting this guy one bit. "Just getting some water" says Y/N remembering the profile, if this guy was the killer, he didn't want to make him angry.

The man still didn't leave but was watching the boy, once he finished drinking, the man moves his hand towards the boy, Y/N moved back slightly 'bad move' he thinks eyeing the guy carefully. the man only smiled tightly and pet his head it was rough as if the man was trying to not show his anger.

Just as Y/N goes to stand up the man moves closer, and Y/N moved back the hand on his head didn't move but he gripped the H/C locks tight Y/N cries out in pain. "Let go of me!" he tried to yell but it comes out as a whisper.

the man's face turned angry, Y/N tries to twist out of the hold, but the man was strong, the 10 year old then kicks the guy shin as hard as he could. "You little brat!" he exclaims letting go of the boys hair to hold his leg.

Taking this chance Y/N quickly abandons his bag and everything in it and started sprinting he made loud sounds and yelled loud hoping the people in their homes would hear him but was unsuccessful, he ran and ran until he tripped over his laces.

The boy went forward, his chin hit the pavement first along with his hands then his knees, they were defiantly scratched up, he cries in pain but stands up he cant stop running, he looks back but the guy isn't there confused he stops running, which wasn't a smart idea.

A hand covers his mouth an arm wraps around his arms and waist trapping them he g=can only kick his legs, with in seconds he was out cold, the man smiles at the unconscious boy in his arms and begins carrying him to the conveniently parked van.

Time skip...

When Y/N woke up he was lying on a mattress it was dark, he didn't know where he was, the scared 10 year old sat up shivering he was cold, still only wearing his tennis uniform from practise, Y/N stands up the room he was in was small and the ceiling was low.

His chin aches as well as his hands and knees, the man hadn't bothered to patch him up and just left the child to bleed. As his eyes adjusted Y/N looked around him he saw a window a small window but big enough for a 10 year old to squeeze through, only thing is he was high up at least two stories if he was too jump the boy would mostly likely brake his legs, The room didn't have a lot in, but was covered in dusty boxes to Y/N it looked like an attic.

He was in an attic. "oh god" he whispers horrified, he's been kidnapped by the Unsub and couldn't escape, hot tears begin falling from his eyes but he makes no sounds, HE wouldn't be happy if he heard the boy crying, Y/N doesn't know how many hours go by until the man came upstairs.

His face appears scaring Y/N, the man had a smile on his face but Y/N knew it was fake, the boy wipes his face from tears. "come here Y/N" says the man in a kind voice, Y/N hesitates but crawls over to the opening.

The man is pleased at him obeying, Y/N knew about the victims before he just needs to play along until he is found. Soon he is led downstairs by the man still not knowing his name. "Why am I here" askes Y/N but is ignored.

The creep leads him to the kitchen. "What do you want for dinner Y/N" asks the man keeping his voice kind his eyes search the boy in front of him, the child is confused why is he acting like this, Y/N is beyond confused. "I-can I have spaghetti and meatballs?" asked Y/N after moment of silence he is met with a slap to the face.

It was a powerful slap the H/C boy is forced to the floor no sound escapes him; he holds his reddening cheek as terrified E/C eyes filled with tears watch the man. The Unsubs eyes are dark with anger his hand still raised, then suddenly he is back to normal and as if nothing happened, he helps Y/N to stand.

'what a psycho' thinks Y/N as the man now known as 'Ben' apologises to hitting him, Ben helps the boy to stand "I'm sorry Y/N can you ever forgive me im such a bad father" says Ben, Y/N freezes. "Father?" he questions inching away he was ready to be hit again.

This time Ben onlysmiles and ruffled Y/Ns head a smile on his face. "of course, im your fatherY/N" he speaks anger lingering as he watches the boy, Y/N then quickly playsalong he smiles fake. "yes of course im sorry father" he cringes as he callsthe Psycho infront of him father. 

After that happened Y/N had to play along with Bens delusion that he was Y/Ns father, every time the boy did or said something Ben didn't like he'd punish the boy.

The 'punishments' consisted of him beating the boy until he was bleeding or passed out, the one Y/N hated was when Ben would tie him to the roof of the attic by his wrists and run a knife along the boys skin.

Torturing him for hours with different sharp objects, before long Y/N had learnt to stay quiet until it was over he forced himself to stay alive, he had to see him family again.

After he was done, he turned back into the kind man Y/N first met, he would take care of Y/Ns cuts like a parent would and then leave him in the attic for hours and hours, sometimes he forgot to feed the boy so Y/N was left alone to think off a plan of escape.

Once the 3 week mark had hit Y/N had his plan, it was well thought out, he needed to be quick and sneaky, as usual his 'father' would let him out of the attic for food lead him to the kitchen and ask "what would you like Y/N?" he asks a smile on his face.

'now' thinks the boy, he groans and curls into himself making a pain expression, just as he thought Ben acted just as he knew he would a worried father. "Y/N! son what wrong?" he yells holding Y/Ns 'limp' body, the boy continues to groan in pain,

Pained eyes look up into Bens eyes. "father I'm not feeling well, I need to go to the hospital" Y/N manages to say before 'passing out' in his fathers arms. "Y/N! wake up!" yells the worried dad.

Ben then walks outside the boy held gently in his arms, there weren't any houses around for miles so no one saw the boy, he then puts the car into drive and they begin making their way to the hospital, from his seat in the back Y/N smirks his plan had worked perfectly.

To be continued...

So sorry for the wait but I decided that I liked writing this so much that it should have a part 2! Hope you have liked it so far, sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes!

Word count: 1600

[puppycheesecake]

Just curious, how long does it take you to make a sim? I feel like I spend HOURS in CAS because I keep making tiny tweaks, undoing it, then redoing it, testing multiple skin details until I find the just right one, and not to mention the addiction to making multiple outfits. Your sims are so great and stylish I feel like if I tried to imitate you I would lose days lol. (I mean this in the best way/as a compliment!!!)

It totally depends on the Sim, but I'm so ADD that sometimes it does take days, haha.

For my Brytani Cho speed CAS video I think it took about 20~ minutes, but that was a pretty straight forward makeover and I only did her Everyday outfit. Untitled Alien Lady was probably about 20, 30 minutes because I was basing her off existing artwork and only did one outfit. But like this Sim took me days to finally finish, because I just kept tweaking things and second-guessing choices.

I think overall Sim requests take me the absolute longest, then full lookbooks are a close second. (I know Miss Hell took me ages because I kept changing outfits, and my Imaginary Friend Sim took like...a solid week before I was happy with her.) Makeovers don't usually take too long because I don't do much to their facial structures and already have a baseline for outfits/looks. And random one-off Sims...ehh, it depends. Some of them are quick, others I mess around with on and off for like a day or so.

I always have about 10-ish Sim projects going at once that I'll skip back and forth between, so most of the time it's hard to say how long a single Sim takes! Probably way too long though, lol.

[8bitsupervillain]

End of the Year 2023: Pre-2023 Good Games

Now we're talking, it's time for good games. As with previous years I decided on separate lists to talk about games that came out before 2023 and those that came out during the year itself. I agonized over this list. Hope you enjoy it

10: Diablo III

In the meh games list I mentioned that I'm not a fan of Diablo III. In fact for the longest time I was fairly cold on this game and really disliked it. There's something to Diablo III however, every few months since finishing the Reaper of Souls expansion way back in 2014 that kept the game popping up in my mind. You should play it again, it would say. Roll a new character, it's probably better than you remember. Then I would inevitably try it again, play a few hours and then just sort of peter off it. Perhaps it's simply because of the sheer ineptitude of Immortal, and my complete and utter lack of caring for Diablo 4 that made my most recent playing Diablo III feel so much more fun. I think enough time has passed that I can freely admit to enjoying this game for the most part. I just never go out of my way to play it, but it'll probably happen again that I'll be doing whatever and the urge to play it will occur

09: Doom 3

It's something of the black sheep of the Doom franchise, but I recall quite enjoying the games when I played them spur of the moment this year. A lot of people bemoan the fact that they just made Doom 3 a horror game, but I'm not so sure I agree with that assessment. Sure it has spooky lighting, and impenetrable darkness, but you're never really put into a less empowered state compared to the original Dooms. You're never starved for ammo, and except for the odd jumpscare there's never anything really scary that happens in the game. More so in the Resurrection of Evil expansion, where they give you the super shotgun. It's slower, and more methodical than the other Doom games, but I really don't feel it's any lesser as a result. It's truly unfortunate there's no way to really get the original versions of Doom 3 an Resurrection of Evil outside of looking in nefarious places, because I played the BFG Edition as well as the original Doom 3 and it made me feel physically ill. The originals are surprisingly forward thinking made games because it's wild to me a game from 2004 has support for a 1080p resolution.

08: Higanbana no Saku Yoru Ni (The Unforgiving Flowers Blossom in the Dead of Night)

A delightful horror themed visual novel that I freely admit I never would have ever heard of if not for Umineko. It's more of a straightforward horror tale than a Umineko because this is about the local ghosts and monsters that haunt a school. I haven't finished the second of the two games, but I did quite like the stories in The First Night. Well worth checking out if you want to see some of Ryukishi07's lesser known works.

07: The Witcher II

A lot more competently put together than the original Witcher. It's also much more action focused compared to the original. I kind of miss the different fighting stances that were in the first Witcher game, but I can understand that the series needs to undergo some streamlining as they become a more cross-platform series. It's a fine story as well, where it seems to be pulling from more contemporary fantasy stories of the time like your Game of Thrones with all of its fantasy political intrigue. But it also includes troll fart jokes, so it still remembers some of its origins as well. One of the only things I didn't really like in this game was the inclusion of the odd Quick Time Event. There's not a particular lot of them, but they just felt weirdly out of place.

06: Dragon Age II

I think it handled the transition from traditional CRPG to a more action focused one rather well honestly. It's not the deepest combat in the world, but I never really had any particular complaint with how it was implemented. I liked the time skips in the story as well, jumping to more important parts of Hawkes' life rather than meander and get bogged down in the weeds of showing their entire time in Kirkwall. A fine enough story, even though its attempts to make the final endgame events bigger than previous plot points just fall flat on its face. It was fun seeing the fantasy RPG equivalent to a Like a Dragon game.

05: Might and Magic X: Legacy

I don't know a thing about the Might and Magic series. I know one of the strategy spinoffs is regarded as the absolute pinnacle of the genre, but as far as the mainline ones go I know nothing. That being said however I did quite like the first person dungeon crawling and combat here in MMX. It's nothing groundbreaking, and I doubt it was anything particuarly special when it came out nearly a decade ago in 2014. I appreciate that the game is more than willing to let you screw up making your party and going in with a "suboptimal" team. Rather than hold your hand and tell you which classes to bring or how to level them. I wish Ubisoft would let some developers make another one of these because I enjoy these lower budget RPGs that aren't these massive open world fiascos. Also you could make bank by upsetting the crowd who cries about ruining beloved franchises by making new entries in older series. But really I just greatly enjoy this type of RPG, and I would love to see more of them. I don't know if it will save Ubisoft from their impending implosion, but I would love to see them take chances on this type of game again rather than see them put out another big open world game that takes a hundred hours to finish.

04: Bravely Default II

With series like the Bravely Default series I usually try to play the games in release order. I know developers go to great pains to make it so you can follow a narrative for a game without having played every single entry prior to it. Regardless I try to play the first entries first. Sometimes this is a double edged sword because who's got time to play the eight or so entries before you play Ys VIII? Other times you got two entries, Bravely Default and Bravely Second. But here's the thing, while I played Bravely D 1 way back on the 3DS I know I never actually finished it, and I never touched Bravely Second. But towards the end of December 2022 I decided what the hey, I'll play Bravely Default 2 and just try to figure it out from there. This game was an utter delight to play, something about the turn based combat, good story, and charming visuals just combined to make this game a real treat for me. Even when I was going out of my way to suck the fun out of the game by grinding up the job levels I was having a heck of a good time. While I enjoy the story that's not what kept bringing me back to the game. I kept coming back to it just for the sheer enjoyment of playing the actual game. A novel concept! Bravely Default II was just an immensely enjoyable game and I highly recommend it to those who enjoy turn-based RPGs.

03: Potato Flowers in Full Bloom

This is as late an entry as one could possibly get. I went into this completely blind and I came away absolutely stunned. This is a great turn-based dungeon crawler RPG that I cannot recommend highly enough. It's clearly done by people who have a great love for the DRPGs but it isn't so bogged down with the ideas of what a "hardcore" DRPG should be that it loses itself in the fine details. Rather than get super in depth with the challenge one would find in a Wizardry Potato Flowers just focuses on a superlative gameplay loop that is just extremely enjoyable to play.

02: Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire

It seemed like a lock way back at the start of the year. Sure Bravely Default 2 was a sheer delight, but it couldn't match Deadfire. The combat, the look, the storyline, everthing was just such a marked improvement over the basic perfection I felt playing Pillars of Eternity 1.

01: Umineko: When the Seagulls Cry

But something came along in May that just swept the legs out from under it. There has not been an experience that has just taken up permanent residence in my head since finishing it. I went into Umineko knowing basically nothing, and by the time I finished it my mind just kept going over it again and again thinking about the characters, and the story, just replaying and rethinking events over and over again. Just a masterfully crafted narrative, and a killer soundtrack to boot.

01: Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire

But the thing about games is that there's more to them than just the story, the gameplay also matters. The short of it is that Pillars of Eternity II quite handily beats Umineko on the gameplay front. Plus, I really don't want to downplay the story of PIllars II because it stands strongly in my memory as one of the most superbly written stories I have ever experienced in any RPG, much less games in general.

01: Umineko: When They Cry

But the story contained within the one hundred and twenty hours worth of Umineko is without hyperbole some of the best written I have had the pleasure to experience. Just some of the most astonishingly well-written character I have ever seen in any medium. Such dedication to the crafting of some of the most vile duplicitous bastards you have ever seen, it's staggering.

01: Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire

The storyline in Deadfire takes the already major stakes from Pillars of Eternity I and manages to raise them even higher without making it seem like it's going to ridiculous lengths. The many characters you meet in this game are some of the strongest and best written I have seen in an extraordinarily long time. It's such a wonderful balancing act that you have such a range of characters who have their own plots and schemes that can affect the world but they all gel really well together. Even the overtly optimistic characters are played in a very realistic way where it doesn't come across as the game trying to pander with naive cheerful characters.

Umineko no Naku Koro Ni

I find it incredible that a series of such gargantuan length was able to maintain and hold my interest for the majority of its length. There were a couple of times early on where I felt my interest waning a bit, but everytime it was able to draw me back in and just revitalize my enjoyment. I am also immensely surprised at just how strongly it has remained lodged in my memory since finishing it. I feel reasonably confident if pressed I could give a summation of the entire VN just going off of memory and lose very little in the retelling.

Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire

As with the original Pillars the sequel does an amazing job integrating the DLC expansions quite seamlessly into the main narrative. There were times that I would embark on what I thought was a simple sidequest but was actualy a large add-on that was just as well crafted as the stuff in the main game. It was a very nice and greatly appreciated attention to detail.

02: Umineko no Naku Koro Ni

I adore this game, I will sing its praises even while carrying the small issues I have with the production. It is such a genuinely great piece of work that I worry that I might be overselling how good it is. But I genuinely feel that it is certainly worth all the praise the visual novel has accrued since its release.

01: Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire

However, games are more than just their story. It comes down to gameplay as well as the story that determines what I think the best of the year (pre-2023) truly is. And that's Pillars of Eternity II. I went in to this game with very high expectations, and I was truly surprised at how masterfully the game had met every single one of them. Despite some minor character and story wobbles I adore everything Pillars II set out to do. I highly, highly recommend this game to anyone who has even a passing interest in CRPGs.

What do you think everyone?

But in my heart I know the award goes to Umineko.

[animehouse-moe]

Media I Experienced In 2022 That I'm Thankful For

It's certainly been a big year in a lot of ways, and everybody makes sure that everyone else knows that, mostly through top lists and favorites and stuff like that. But I'm not good with favorites or Top 10s and the like, so I prefer to do things a little different. I want to take a look back at the year and look over the animanga that I was really thankful to have experienced this year. Fair warning, there's a lot of reading to do, sorry!

Jujustu Kaisen 0

I remember this movie clear as day, come hell or high water I was watching it. It was a cool spring afternoon, I had to reschedule some meetings with professors and even skipped a class so I could drive 20 minutes to go to a theater that was showing it, and I even left early. Of course my luck, a huge traffic accident happened on the highway so there was a massive delay. Do I stick it out or fly down the back roads hoping to make it? Without somehow getting a speeding ticket I made it to my seat in the theater right when the movie started. It was incredible, beautiful even. King Gnu's song for the end credits sticking in my mind even as I went to peruse the bookstore next door with everyone else that watched the movie. Certainly something I'll remember for a very long time.

Heike Monogatari

Initially, I don't even remember if I was going to check this one out, I only really ended up watching it because a mutual name dropped it saying I would like it. They were absolutely on the money. Such an emotional and modern approach to a traditional and incredibly classic story, Science Saru really outdid themselves. Whenever I think of this show, I think of the prayer to the fallen that ends the series. It's just so incredibly beautiful, it's hard not to get emotional when watching/listening to it each time, or reminiscing over the series in general.

⚠️Warning: Video Contains Spoilers From End of Series⚠️

Sasaki and Miyano

What a lovely slow burn romance this was. I don't think I really had any sort of expectations for it, but once I got into it, I fell in love. The characters are all so unique and varied, and they work wonders in tackling the endless angles of same-sex romance, both from a personal and exterior perspective. It just sort of opened my eyes to the genre. I never had much experience with BL beforehand, and it doesn't really have the best connotation within the community, but this does wonders to change your mind. It's so fresh, and open, it gives you an entirely new perspective that Rom-Com watchers most likely do not have. Just a lovely approach that compliments the romance and comedy wonderfully.

Shikimori's Not Just a Cutie

I was feeling very burnt by My Dress Up Darling's approach to a rom-com in the Winter season, so I was originally loathing Shikimori for how "popular" it'd become because of Shikimori. Morbid curiosity deemed that I at least check out a little bit of it and I was stunned. Everything that I despised of Dress Up Darling was rectified here. Warm and positive relationships, more than just the main characters, actual romance and development, hurdles, challenges, the triumph of youthful optimism. It's an incredible blueprint for a post-get together rom com. Izumi and Shikmori aren't just lovey-dovey, they don't get focused on alone, the romance has its challenges and steps forward. It was a shock, I really was shocked. And now I have all the volumes out in English on my shelf. It restored faith in the "traditional" rom com, it was such a breath of fresh air in a very much bogged down genre.

Shadows House Season 2

This was more so awe. They changed up the ending for S1 in case it didn't get greenlit for a second season, and they kept expectations for it very low. I was stunned when they announced the second season, and was so incredibly excited to get it in Summer of this year. So more than thankful for what Shadows House itself did (though it's an outstanding mystery series), I'm much more thankful that it got its second season (and I'm hopeful of a third!).

Call of The Night

Yeah, I might be pretty critical on the adaptation for stuff like voice actors, its average creative output, and how much important content it skips, but I'm still thankful for it alongside the manga this year. Some truly incredible character moments in the manga in regards to Ko's development and emotions. It's a beautiful series that takes a look at love and life from an entirely different angle than the norm, and I have to be thankful with the anime encouraging so many people to pick up the manga. And as always, if you want an idea of what the series is like? Listen/look at the lyrics for the song by Creepy Nuts where Call of The Night gets its name from.

Akiba Maid War

The dark horse of the season, if not the year for me. An Uramichi Oniisan experience, where I saw it and thought, "Well, what's the harm in checking it out?", before being blown away by comedy, action, and camp in equal parts. It's a stellar tale of creativity and passion run wild that results in a compelling and helplessly engaging series that feels criminally underappreciated by the community for what it does. Anime Originals have been really rough, but this Fall 2022 season has given me so much faith via stories like this, or DIY!!. Just a moment of restored faith in the creative process outside big names and big productions, a reminder that creativity is still capable of appearing from anywhere and that it doesn't take a hail mary to get surprisingly good series.

Bocchi The Rock

I mean, is this any surprise? Bocchi The Rock quite literally rocked the world of viewer's. It quietly appeared to be scheduled for the season, and after that first episode finished, it was pandemonium. Bocchisweep has trended on platforms like Twitter several times over, and it even toppled the most anticipated anime of the season (and perhaps even year) in overall rating (8.85 for Bocchi and 8.82 for CSM at the time of writing this). It's a beacon of hope to the measure of creativity and freedom in the medium, and for that I'm ridiculously thankful for what it came in and did in 12 episodes flat.

Our Not-So-Lonely Planet Travel Guide

I was getting very tired of the traditional lens of romance and rom coms at the start of this year, so finding this manga alongside Sasaki and Miyano was really a blessing. Adult characters, a mature look at romance, and worldwide travel? It was really great catching up with the 2 volumes currently released (Vol 3 in 2023!), and it brought forward some great thoughts and approaches to LGBTQ+ romance through its main and supporting characters. Plus? It made full use of the locale to sell the story aspect and even inject some beautiful value about the wonders that the world and its people have to offer. Easy recommend to anyone looking for a nice take on romance that doesn't feel inherently gimmicky.

Nightfall Travelers Leave Only Footprints

You might be thinking, "wow, that's a pretty cover", and you'd be right.... but also wrong. The actual art of the manga is even prettier. It's stunning. It's so unique and incredibly creative.

I'm very much an impulse buyer with manga, and this ended up being one of those volumes. I saw the art and a brief synopsis, and as weird as it sounds, it was love at first sight. The concept was wonderful, discovering the beauty in horror and deepening an emotional and curious bond. It really is a one of a kind story, and along other very niche and off-color series like Sheeply Horned Witch Romi, is a reminder of the awe-inspiring work that waits patiently to be discovered still.

Everybody always says, "Oh this is gonna be the best year for manga! X is going to give us the greatest chapters of the series and this new (and often times generic) series Y is finally dropping!". In a way, they're not wrong, but I feel like it's a misconstrued reason for their hype. Comparison. Everything is compared to something, everything has a sibling that everyone wants it to perform better than, an author that has to one-up their previous work in every way. It's suffocating, especially with the incredible desire for people to rank and compare things in the first place. The reason each successive year is "going to be better" isn't because of some objective reason, it's because of everybody's perception of it. It's another year that you get to immerse yourself in the hobby and medium, another year that you get to set out and discover new series, new authors, new approaches and genres. It's another year of falling in love with all sorts of things. And I remain incredibly thankful for that opportunity. For all the weird and wacky series that I get to place on my shelf year after year, all the new and unique authors that become staple of my collection, the new genres and expanses that continually widen my horizons.

[formulaorange]

Spring 2023 Anime Review

Sorry this is late - I was in Japan for a month and a half

Oshi No Ko The series that easily stole the #1 spot this season. It really stands out, I've never seen a story like this one and it really hits hard. The episodes feel real and definitely show a side of the film/idol industry that a lot of people brush over. It's such a great concept and I'm thoroughly looking forward to future seasons. 10/10 - Masterpiece

Demon Slayer - Season 3 I really can't stress how next level Ufotable's animations are and you really get to see it in this season. The story itself is also picking up the pace with my guess of 2 more seasons before the series is completed, it's such a great feeling to really experience the series moving forward and being able to get to know more of the key characters introduced in season 1. A really killer season packed into a reasonable amount of time and episodes. 9.5/10 - Amazing

Hell's Paradise I can't put my finger on exactly what it is, but this really didn't hit as hard as I thought it would. The manga was impeccable and I guess the anime just didn't live up to it. I also felt that some of the animations were lackluster, which is surprising for MAPPA. Maybe they're really starting to feel the weight of having to work on so many titles. I'm hoping the next season feels better, the second half of the series is really where it picks up and is what makes everything worth it. 7.5/10 - Good+

Mashle Honestly one of the best comedy series I've seen in a while, I kept thinking maybe it wouldn't hit as hard the next episode but it always did. Excellent Harry Potter memeage and overall comedy. 8/10 - Very Good Dr. Stone S3 This took me a second to get back into but once I started watching, I really got into it, it's honestly such a good series. I feel like we're really headed toward the main story now and things are picking up the pace. Was a solid season for the story. 8/10 - Very Good My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999 I loved this series so much. It was a bit of a slowburn but so very wholesome. I think it reminded me a bit of a younger wotakoi if that makes sense. just realistic and cute, the last episode is 100% a killer payoff, very much like jdramas where it's not over the top and you're stoked about the tiniest thing. definitely a couple i support all the way. 8/10 - Very Good Heavenly Delusion This season did such a 180 for me. I loved the initial concept of post-apocalyptic survival vs the captive kids but man did it get uncomfortable fast. There were just way too many naked kids and borderline harassment scenarios that I felt super icky watching the show. It could've gone such a different direction without all that stuff and be amazing.. End of the day the series was novel and that stuff wasn't the whole show. 7/10 - Good Gundam: Witch from Mercury Season 2 - Part 2 I was a huge fan of the first season, the story was solid, the characters were great and in general it was just a really good season. I had a much harder time with this season, it felt way more political and felt a little more rushed than i'd like. 6.5/10 - Fine+ With the new season coming out this weekend I'll post this and add to it when I complete the following 2 shows: The Dangers in My Heart Skip to Loafer

[marvels-bitch-boy]

Emerald Eyes Part 2: Chapter 9

Chapter 9: (Multi POVs)

Word count: 4.5k

Masterlist , P1 Chapter 1 , P2 Chapter 8 , P2 Chapter 10

A/N: please let me know if this could be improved in any way! I feel like some parts of it aren't as fleshed out as I'd like them to be. But I do hope you enjoy it!

(Y/N’s POV)

Time skip 1 month–

OH MY GOD!!! I’M DATING NATASHA!!

HOLY SHIT

Now I know that I must be going insane because how on earth did she feel the same for me? I felt dumbstruck as I sat next to the woman. She acted like this was a new normal. Like I was always here. We sat in the common room under the same blanket. The lights were low and I could see the way she was captivated by the movie. I couldn’t get over the fact that I was holding her so close right now. I heard the sound of the fridge opening behind us and Nat separated from me as fast as possible. I sat up and created space between the two of us, we both looked at each other for a second with panic on our faces. No one else was supposed to be at the compound. Tony said he was going to stay with Pepper, Steve was visiting a friend in the city, Pietro was on a date, Wanda… Wanda had been distancing herself from me currently. Bruce had been on a meditation retreat for a week. Thor was fine -he found us near the pool sharing a kiss and simply grinned from ear to ear. I turned my head and saw the back of the figure's head. Closing my eyes and pursing my lips as I clenched my jaw I took whispered “Stark…” Nat just cursed under her breath and when I opened my eyes Tony held a spoon between his teeth as he grinned and wiggled his brow. “Don’t say a word Stark”. He held his hands up in surrender and held the spoon up “Ohhhh…but this is so good”. He walked over and took a seat in his regular spot. His legs were dangling off the side of the armchair and gestured between the two of us. “Soooooo?”

God, I hated his joy right now. “So what?...” Nat stayed separated from me and I couldn’t help the anger that this gave me since Tony was delighted that he ruined a moment between us. “What happened to the night with Pepper?”

I hoped that would shut down his smile but he simply kept it up. “Oh no, you don’t. I asked first…” he looked towards Natasha “something you want to share with me, tiny dancer?” She clenched her jaw and took the remaining blanket from me.

“Not really, I wouldn’t say anything new has happened” she had completely left me. She made a void of space between us, I felt cold…I literally generate heat but I felt chilled deep inside. She didn’t look at me and I felt absolutely confused. Why was Tony finding out so much more different from anyone else? I cleared my throat and got up from my spot.

“Yeah, absolutely nothing.” I didn’t look at her as I made my way away from the couch “I think I’ll hit the library. -Good night Tony… Romanoff” As I walked down the hallway I could hear a small bicker come from the room I just exited.

Now was I going to the library? No… I don’t know where I was going, but I knew that what just happened made me extremely angry. Only two members of the team didn’t know about us. One of them just found out and apparently what I thought was real wasn’t. Isn’t that just hilarious?!?? My body felt like it was on autopilot. My legs wouldn’t stop moving forward and I just followed them. I excited my head and found myself in the middle of the dirt track under the night sky. I looked back to the building I exited. I looked into the window that allowed a view into the common room. I saw Natasha’s back face me as her arms went up and down and she seemed to yell. I saw Tony laugh and I caught him glance at me. The anger inside of me just seemed to want to spill out in a matter of seconds. I felt the cold in my body eat at me. I felt it exit my body and suddenly my left hand was as heavy as a boulder. I looked down and it was covered in a block of ice. My breathing became rapid once again.

HOLY FUCK

I collapsed to the ground and attempted to melt the ice off. I had to use my right hand as it became engulfed in flames and finally, my hand was free. I couldn’t help that the anger was still inside me. I couldn’t stop it from eating at me. There was a scream building in my chest as I let the flames die. I finally let it out and something that I can’t fully explain to even myself happened.

“AARRRRGGGHHHHH!!....” Every muscle in my body tensed as I let the anger and sadness enter the atmosphere. A blue light came from me and I saw ice cover the grass I knelt in. there were shards of ice glowing from all around me and I panted as I looked them over. It felt again like a shackle on myself had been unlocked and I decided to scream again. The noise left me and I felt the light ignite once again. My skin became cool and snowflakes began to hit my skin. They calmly descended and I just smiled at the night above me. Was I going crazy? Maybe.

I closed my eyes and I let the screams continue until my voice went silent. It felt like I had joined the rest of the world in the night. I laughed at how insane I felt. I laugh until I felt a pair of arms wrap around my shoulders. A voice came into my ears and I couldn’t make out the words. I turned and saw the red hair and those Emerald Eyes. The Emerald Eyes that had hurt me. “Wanda…?” I croaked out through the rasp of my torn throat. I felt her turn me around and she held my face in her hands. She checked me for injury -I think that's what she was doing- and I saw Natasha and Tony run through the doors of the compound and make their way to me. Natasha began to slow as she caught my gaze and I froze. (Pun not intended)

Wanda continued to speak but her words seemed to hit a brick wall when they attempted to enter my head. Tony reached me and analyzed the ice that circled me. He spoke too but my mind was too occupied with the woman who seemed to be questioning if she should reach me. Wanda helped me up and held me tight but my eyes were still on her. A sense of deja vu was filling my chest and I didn’t how to make it go away. I exited the ice and finally made my way to her. She seemed hesitant to hold me. That stung me deeply. She seemed to be speaking but again I couldn’t hear her. My face held confusion and she picked it up quickly. She looked me up and down quickly before she almost knocked me over in an embrace. Her arms held onto me as if I would disintegrate if she let me go. I hesitated for a moment before I wrapped my arms around her. I took her in.

She softened and looked up at me. I looked into her eyes and I felt both the sadness inside me and anger begin to melt like snow in the summer heat. She moved closer and I bent down to close the space between our lips. It felt like our first kiss all over again. I felt new and what was between us felt new. When we parted I saw a small smile on her face creep up as she took my face in her hands. She slowly rubbed her thumb over my cheek and I only let my thought carry one word. Love.

Would I tell her this? Hell no, it’s only been a month of us being together. I only looked at her and kissed her forehead. She began to lead me back into the compound. She took me to the med bay and inspected me for injuries in depth. I felt her eyes on me as I removed my shirt to allow her a closer look. She traced her fingers over the scar that ran along my chest. I kept my eyes trained on the wall in front of me. I couldn’t bear to look at her face. “Am I all good?” I spoke softly to not strain my voice anymore. She looked up into my eyes but didn’t remove her hand from my skin. She tilted her head and made a look that said “if you were all good we wouldn’t be here” -obviously she would say it with more sarcasm than my mind has.

“What happened?” her voice was faint but I could hear it. It sounded softer than she has spoken in weeks. My head dropped as I tried to think of an explanation. “I- I don’t know… I just felt-” she cut me off “no… this.” she pressed into my chest and her gaze went back to my torso. I took a breath and tried to think of the shortest way to phrase it.“When a building falls on you, you get hurt” she lightly laughed at my words and I smiled back. “I never noticed them before” Her finger went towards the scaring on the lower part of my ribcage. “I’m good at hiding things”

She probably assumed I was being coy with her but I simply just wanted to spare my voice from any further damage. The conversation ended at that and we made our way to my apartment.

—

The next morning I woke to someone's arm slung across me and a head nuzzled deep into my chest. The light that came through my window illuminated the woman and I smiled to myself as I watched her sleep. This was the first time she had stayed the night with me. She had slept in my bed and I woke up next to her. This was something I never experienced, and it was something I only wanted now. I didn’t care if we never spent a full day together again, as long as I got to wake up next to her and capture this image again I would be set for life. She stirred slightly and I moved the strands of hair from her eyes. I watched as they opened and revealed a landscape within them of forests. I saw her smile and dig her head into me once more.

“C’mon… time to get up you koala” She held onto me tighter and I felt her laugh reverberate into me. She sat up now and greeted me with a kiss. “I thought you’d love to sleep in” I attempted to follow her lips as they became farther away. This made her giggle as she began to get up. Only she was stopped by me pulling her back down and showering her with kisses. “Only five more minutes, okay…then we get up”

—

We walked into the kitchen this time together. She wore a sweater that was stolen from my closet and it made my heart swoon. Pietro sat on a stool and witnessed us enter. His mouth created an o shape and a smile accompanied it. Natty~ didn’t bat an eye at him as she made her way to the coffee pot. I grabbed two mugs and stayed close behind her as she worked. After seconds of silence, Pietro spoke up “So…Guessing I missed some stuff last night” I heard Natty giggle slightly and speak on my behalf “Only some things, don’t worry we saved Ferris Bueller for later” I kissed the side of her head and turned toward -as I could only describe the grinning cat- and took a slice of his toast.

The next person to walk in was Tony and I immediately avoided his gaze and kept the space between me and Natasha. As he spoke up she noticed the lack of contact from me and spun around. “Romanoff, How’s our icicle doing?” Pietros brow furrowed at his words. Nat simply handed me my mug of coffee and planted a kiss on my lips that caught me off guard… My eyes went wide while a delicate smile stayed on my lips.

“He’s doing perfectly so far. Thank you for asking” He stood in slight shock at this display but his smile from last night reappeared. “Oh…So I’m going to guess this is official?- I’m thrilled for you two please remember that.” He quickly spoke up and took Nattys mug and sat next to Pietro as he stole the last piece of toast. She glanced at me for a moment and as If I knew what he was doing my mug was waiting in the air before she spoke “-yes, it is official. And I would like to avoid a repeat of last night please.” I saw a window to speak and took it “Tiny Dancer?” Natty spat out her coffee and I chuckled at the reaction those two little words got out of her.

“Uhuh, no you don’t! That’s our thing” Tony spoke up through a mouth of toast. I shook my head and raised my brow in protest. He backed down and I turned back to Natty. She was biting the inside of her cheek as she thought for a moment before continuing. “Yes?”

“City date?” I made sure to use the fewest words but get my point across. She nodded her head and smiled.

—

I’m dragging her down the sidewalk as we get closer to my final destination.

The place that I had been hoping to take her to since that night we talked in that diner. I didn’t know that she would be the person I would bring but my heart is fluttering faster than a hummingbird's wings. We made out way down the street and avoided bumping into other pedestrians. She laughed as I almost tripped on the uneven surfaces below my feet and I held her closer. -Obviously to make sure she doesn't trip too… and not to keep my balance.

“Iggy… where are we going?” I held in a smile at the name, every time she’s called me it this past month it digs itself deeper into my heart. She put one hand in her jacket pocket while the other crept its way into my pocket with my hand. I knew exactly what she was doing… and I loved it!

“Okay fine! it’s a small museum that…” those words died in my throat as I looked forward and were stopped dead in my tracks by the same brown eyes that had stopped me for years. My feet felt like they were stuck in cement. I couldn’t move, I was trapped in my body as I watched her from afar. Her large chestnut curls looked the same as the day I lost her. She looked around as if she was waiting for someone on the corner. I felt the instinct to run to her and take her in my arms. But I couldn’t move. I felt frozen in place. A group of people were let out of a nearby building and they began to obscure my view, I slowly moved forward to attempt to reach her.

I could hear Natasha's voice coming after me, she sounded concerned and I didn’t blame her. I continued to make my way until I was pulled back by a pair of arms and spun around. “Y/N!-” she began to shake me as I turned my head to attempt another glance at the brunette. “Y/N!-hey, hey! Look at me, look over here, what’s the wrong Igg? You gotta speak to me detka.” she raised a hand to my face but I lifted it off and attempted another glance. I was too late though. She was gone.

I looked back at Nat and she only stared down at my hand that held her wrist. I began to feel dizzy as it fully hit me what I just say -no not what…who. “It was her…-I -I -Natasha…” I began to lose my balance as I attempted to speak “who? Who was it Iggy? It’s okay you can tell me” she held me up while she looked deep into my eyes.

“It- it was- it was grace” she was taken aback and looked at me like I was ill. I felt insane last night but this was a whole nother level of insanity I felt I had reached. Grace was here, I saw her… “it was my Gracie…” as I said those words I felt as though I was going to throw up and I collapsed to the uneven concrete below.

—

(Natasha’s POV)

The previous night-

“...Romanoff”

That was the last thing that Y/N said to me, he didn’t even look at me as he left. I knew that denying what was between us in front of Tony had hurt him but it felt different now that Tony found out. It felt like our secret of us was beginning to unravel and soon we’d have nothing sacred together. In my heart and mind, I knew reality was the farthest thing from that. I was just so scared.

Once Iggy had left Tony looked at me with an innocent smile that I knew was far from the truth. It bugged me the reaction he was able to get out of me. “Really?... You had to do that?” I threw the blanket at his face and groaned as I got up and paced the room. “Seriously Tony, you need to quit this whole ‘I’ll know when the right guy is with you’ crap! It was fine with Steve because we both agreed to be friends was best. BUT Y/N is the right guy.” I was angry with him, not only did he ruin the only time we had alone outside of our private rooms but he also seemed to drive a wedge between us.

“Well, Nat if you had just simply told me the truth I would have left you two alone to enjoy the night…You’ve never done that before, you’re usually the one staying close” he adjusted himself in the armchair and I couldn’t help but glare at him. “Yeah, when I know it’s just a fling… not something that could be real.” His face perked up at my words he stood up as well. He laughed with a smile on his face before speaking again “You mean to tell me, that-” his words stopped for a moment before continuing “-That this more than a fling? Then why haven't you told the whole team?” My breath was caught in my throat for the smallest of seconds as my brain began to think of why I hadn’t. Was I that scared of this ending so soon? Was I afraid of him being taken from me as soon as I became truly vulnerable? Or did I just want him to myself for a little while longer?

I couldn’t respond before a gut-wrenching scream came from outside. I whipped my head and I saw Iggy covered with a blue hue as he screamed out in what I thought was pain. I was stuck in place as I watched the light dissipate and what appeared to be ice formed around him. “Holy shit..” Tony spoke up from behind me and watched in awe as a second scream came. I was entranced by Y/N as he seemed to form snow and spears of ice all around him. I could hear Tony’s footsteps rush away and into the hall. No doubt going to grab scanners to assess what was happening. The steps were followed by more and more screams in a row and as they came and went I made my way to the source. As I reached the doors I saw a sight that caught my heart in my chest. It was the witch with her arms around him as he knelt on the ground. She caressed his cheek as I would have, I slowed my pace as Tony reached him, he was speaking fast and it looked like Y/N was unable to take in any of his words. As he was lifted by Wanda the sight of her arms all over him made me regretful of the words I used.

As they began to walk forward and I decided to meet him in the middle. I felt scared of how he would react to me but as I walked his eyes never left mine. When I reached him I didn’t know if he wanted to be near me but I gave in to my urge to hold him close. “I’m sorry, I got scared earlier and I just wanted this to myself for a little while longer” He put his arms around me delicately like I was a flower in the hands of a giant. He didn’t speak and I only softened my embrace to analyze his facade. He didn’t seem mad or upset, only confused. He hadn’t responded when Tony spoke to him and when Wanda said passed him off to me. He didn’t speak or understand the words we said. “Can you hear me?” I said but to no avail, his face remained a statue of confusion. I held him again and when I looked back into his eyes he began to bend down and plant a soft and delicate kiss on my head. It carried both warmth and cold. I ushered him inside and took him to the medbay to inspect him for any further injuries before bed.

—

“It was my Gracie” his words made me freeze and my grip on him softened. As soon as I did that however he collapsed to the ground and those around us made room as they continued walking past. I attempted to wake him and immediately called 911 when he would not come to. I knelt next to him and monitored his breathing as I waited for the ambulance to arrive. It took them what felt like an eternity to arrive and head to the nearest hospital. When we pulled up they carted him in and I began to call the team. Steve, Tony and Pietro were called first and I relayed the same information the dr had given me. “He’s stable, they think it was related to stress being put on his body and his brain. A psychologist spoke to me and she thinks he had a trauma response to something around him.” They looked relieved and Pietro was the first to offer me a hug. It was odd how calm he was staying currently. I expected him to rush into Y/N’s room and try to wake him up himself.

I saw Steve and Tony retreat to a corner and begin talking. Steve seemed on edge as he listened to Tony’s words. Whatever they were talking about didn’t seem good.

—

About two hours later a doctor came and informed us that he was awake and responsive. My body felt lighter and I made a b-line for his room. When I arrived I wasn’t greeted by a smile on his face. I was greeted by Director Rambeau of S.W.O.R.D. sitting next to him with a stunned look on her face at the words he spoke. “It was her, Maria. I swear. I saw her” he looked spooked out of his mind and she forced him to sip water before she stroked his forehead and reassured him. She slipped out of the room and gave me a faint smile.

I slowly made my way into his line of sight and offered up another smile. “How do you feel?” He looked down at the water cup in his hands and sighed “I feel insane…She died, but Nat- I swear it was her” My heart softened at his words and I held a hand out for him to take. It sat for a moment before I felt the heat radiating off of him fill my palm.

“You’re not insane… okay? It could have been her or someone who looks similar-” He attempted to interject but I continued “-But that doesn’t mean you’re insane.” He nodded his head and moved over in his bed. He looked at me softly and softly gestured with his head. I took my place in his arms and I lay my head on his shoulder as he fiddled with my fingers absent-mindedly.

—

1 week later

(Y/N’s POV)

After I was discharged from the hospital I decided to begin my psychological treatment offered by Stark. I realized I need to heal from my past to remain completely in the future I have. I realized I didn’t see Grace. It was just something my mind did to play with me. I needed to move on to give the love I have stored deep within. One of these pasts… is my brother. He hasn’t spoken to me since I enlisted, my mother told him I abandoned him for the army. I found out when I spoke to a friend of his who reached out. It hurt me to think that he believed her, I was the one who took care of him. The one who stayed up with him late at night during thunderstorms. I was there for him and when I had to leave she stuck her claws into him. My father was just there for the ride if I’ll be honest.

I decided to reach out, it took everything in me to send that message. Natasha was actually the one to press send because I threw my phone across the room as soon as she counted to five. And then again days later when he responded… We had to go shopping for a new case by Thursday. But we reconnected and he began to tell me his side of everything. He hadn't realized how much I had shielded him when I was there. There weren’t words to describe the feeling I had when I called him for the first time. We talked for hours and I told him about my job.

The boy lost his shit. He had me put Steve on the phone and proceeded to berate the poor fossil with questions. I apologized and attempted to continue but he wouldn’t stop talking. I never realized someone could speak faster than Pietro…

Just as he was slowing down we got an alert for a high-level emergency mission. I was tempted to sit this one out and stay on the phone. I wasn’t recommended for field work for another week but I had a sense inside me that this wasn’t any ordinary mission.

I ran to the quin jet in civilian clothes and changed on the route. I took my place next to Pietro near the rear and I could sense the nerves radiating off of him. In fact, I could feel the tension and the looming fear from everyone on the jet. I didn’t want to admit it but I knew something would go wrong. I had a feeling that things might not work out for us in the end…that it might not work out for me…

Taglist:

@littlewinchester15 @ilostafriend @nektotersh @ironscarletwidowsoilder @lexi21pro @zyguard118 @diaryoflife @rokkyy @ethanwoods @ihaveanxiety71 @blackwidow-3  @Hangingcurtain10 @axienic   @iamsimpforpoppy @wubio @dakotastorm @cristin-rjd @itsyourgirlmalise @feedonme

[liarian]

If this were a shojo

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

In most manga and anime they made high school life seem like those were going to be the best years of their lives. Cultural festivals, end-of-year trips, sneaking kisses and the wonderful discovery of first love. Arataka would have been a horrible protagonist of the typical shojo. With just under two months left until graduation, he felt as if he had skipped everything that should have made his student life exciting.

The cultural festivals had been hours of listening to class girls giving orders, carrying boxes, hearing how he didn't know how to do anything well, and hanging around late when he could have been wasting his time with Serizawa or helping Kageyama-san.

About the end of the school year trip, he hadn't even told his parents. The idea of spending a week with the rest of his class was not what Arataka understood as thrilling.

And about first love... Taka was curious about what it must be like to kiss someone. Going to college without ever having kissed anyone sounded like the perfect description of pathetic but it wasn't going to be anything new either. Would Serizawa have kissed anyone by now? Girls had to find him attractive with his height. Taka had seen him shirtless more than once and it was hard not to be envious when next to him Taka was nothing more than a scrawny rat.

Arataka yawned, too bored to pay attention as the teacher continued to talk and write on the board. The letter was still occupying much of his thoughts. There were barely ten minutes left in class when Arataka pulled it out of the drawer again.

He still couldn't quite believe that someone wanted to ask him out. That was one of those things he was convinced was never going to happen before he got to college.  Suddenly, he felt like he had reached another level after passing a secret test he didn't even know existed. Having a girlfriend had to make him more popular, right?

------------------

Taka got up from his seat, hanging up his open backpack and striding out the door. Still undecided between walking and running, Taka zigzagged, dodging people until he reached the stairs. He almost made it down the entire block in one leap, his feet echoing as he hit the landing. At last he started to run.

"Sorry!" Arataka yelled, turning around for a moment to apologize to the first-year girl he had nearly run over in his haste.

"Jerk" the girl snarled, straightening her skirt.

Taka ignored her completely and kept running. He barely even had time to put on his sneakers between bounces before he found himself kicking up the gravel on the sand path that led up to the gym.

He could barely breathe when he finally stopped. Maybe it had been a bad idea. Taka pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, it had barely been five minutes since classes had ended. Sweat plastered his bangs to his forehead and he felt overheated. Bent in on himself, he forced himself to breathe. His side was prickling from the effort. Taka dropped against the back wall of the gym and closed his eyes, forcing himself to take a deep breath. The sound of laughter brought him to attention. Arataka noticed his whole body tense up as he saw the five boys approaching.

"You came? Really?" Taka recognized Sato. He had had the misfortune of going with him as well when they were still in elementary school and they had never liked each other. "Did you really think anyone would want to go out with you?"

"If an ape like you has a girlfriend, I don't understand why not." Arataka shrugged. With his hands in his pockets, he began to move forward, trying for a hole to slip through. "Well, I guess that's it then, isn't it, I've bought it! Now you can have a good laugh at my expense."

"You heard him! He called me an ape! He thinks he's so funny!"

For a second, Arataka was convinced he would make it out unscathed, but a hand grabbed him by the shoulder before he made it back to the stream of students leaving class.

"What's the hurry?" Taka noticed Sato's arm slither behind his neck like a snake coiling around its prey. "After going to so much trouble. I just wanted you to join us for a while."

"No, thank you." Arataka tried to break the contact. "I have to go to work."

"Did you hear that? He doesn't want to come with us." Sato said, slapping him on the cheek. "For old time's sake? Or are you scared?"

"Scared? Of what? Of assholes like you?"

Sato punched him in the stomach, managing to knock him out of breath for a second and took the opportunity to steal his phone from his pocket. Maybe someday Taka would learn to keep his mouth shut but it was clear that day wasn't today.

"Give it back!" Arataka stretched out his arm trying to retrieve it but the pain managed to bend him back on himself. "Sato! Give it back now!"

"If you don't need it for anything! I think I'm going to keep it." Sato pocketed it. "Buy us takoyaki, huh?"

"If I do, will you give me the phone back?" Taka sighed wearily. He'd been a jerk for thinking that maybe something good could happen today.

"I'll think about it." Sato's snarky smile didn't give him any confidence.

----------------------------

Arataka barely had three hundred yen left in his pocket after paying for everyone's takoyaki and drinks but Sato still didn't seem determined to return him the phone. Arataka was growing suspicious that at no time had that been the plan but he didn't know what else to do either. It would have been so easy, if he had had powers like Serizawa... Taka rubbed his eyes. He just wanted to go home, crawl into bed and forget that day had ever existed. Revenge was going to be terrible. Arataka might be an outcast in class, but he wasn't going to let himself be caught off guard again. He had long since stopped paying attention to his surroundings when he realized where they were.

"Where do you guys want to go?" Taka asked somewhat nervously. "Over here there's nothing."

The house that still plagued all his nightmares appeared in front of his eyes as soon as they turned the corner. The FOR SALE sign had lost all traces of color years ago, and the broken window panes behind the pieces of wood boarding up the gaps gave it a very creepy look.

"Brings back memories?" Sato smiled, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Hey, are you still afraid of the dark?"

Arataka barely had time to react. One instant, his cell phone was in Sato's hands and the next second, it had disappeared through one of the holes left by the wood boarding up the front door. Taka noticed how all the color disappeared from his face.

"Are you going to piss yourself?" Laughter rang cruelly in his ears as they walked away down the street. "Did you see the look on his face?"

The last lights of the day were beginning to fade behind the row of abandoned houses but the street seemed to be in complete darkness. Taka tried to control the trembling in his hands. That day, Sato's was the last face he had seen before the door closed behind him.

[elvendara]

AU-gust day 2

2 Aug 23 Immortals

“My lord, the humans have arrived.” The servant knelt at Jumin’s feet, head down.

“Excellent, let the others know the feast is set.” Jumin’s dark hair was swept into a long braid down his back to his waist. His long nails clicked together, his mouth almost watering. Another decade had passed since the last feast and his clan was hungry. Though they could go several generations without blood, it tended to have side effects, leaving them sluggish. The deal they had made centuries ago with the people of this country was that they would feed the clan and the clan would protect them as best they could.

Every 10 years the location changed, and a different region was responsible for sending a group of humans. This year they were in the mountain region and the folk here were hardy and strong. The blood would be thick and rich, the thought of the upcoming banquet filled him with longing. He kept his pace steady, back straight, grey eyes focused just ahead of him. It would not do to have the head of the clan skip towards his meal. The thought made the edges of his lips quirk upwards, the tips of his pointed ears warm. Ah, that warmth, so fleeting to the undead.

As he neared the banquet hall he saw the silver flowing hair of Zen slip inside. He sighed and slowed his step. He did not look forward to the man’s sharp tongue.

“You should just punish him. It is unbecoming to challenge our leader so openly on a daily basis. You let him get away with too much.” V’s voice spoke up behind him. Jumin rolled his eyes at the teasing tone.

“I would easily concede the clan into your hands. You are after all, the elder. Then you can chastise that child any way you wish.”

V threw his blue haired head back in deep laughter as he linked his arm with the other man. They had been friends even before undeath took them, V a few months older than Jumin.

“Or, you could give him what he wants.” V said slyly, glancing sideways at his friend.

Jumin took a deep breath but wisely kept silent. They walked into the banquet hall together, arm in arm. The humans were huddled in the center of the room with three long tables at the sides of the room and the longest opposite the doorway at the other end of the room.

Already in their seats were the red headed twins Saeyoung and Saeran, appearing to be choosing which human they were going to drink from. If he didn’t get this started soon they would end up physically fighting. Yoosung, the beautiful blond with the purple eyes nodded to Jumin and took his seat opposite the twins. He looked hungry but kept his eyes down, hands clasped on his lap. He was the newest member of the clan, still learning their ways, though he had had no difficulty in restraining himself among humans. This would be his second feast and if the first was any indication, he would partake as little as he could. He was indeed remarkable.

In the center of the head table was his second in command, Jaehee. Her auburn hair was in a tight bun, several hairpins adorning it like a crown. Brown eyes surveyed the humans, flitting from one to another rapidly. He knew she calculated how much blood they would be able to harvest and how much they could safely preserve.

Zen eyed the humans but conversed with Jaehee, or at least he attempted to. Her inattention did not alter his continuing chatter. Jumin noticed the man’s red eyes flick towards him then quickly away again. The vampire took a single alabaster finger and twirled the lustrous silver hair enticingly. Jumin looked away as he made his way around the table on the right. V followed and laughed under his breath.

“Not a word.” Jumin said through gritted teeth.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” V pressed his lips together as if to prove what he said. He glanced at the crowd. The humans were silent, eyes darting around the room. They didn’t smell as if they were afraid, but they were apprehensive and nervous. All of them were between the ages of 25 and 40, prime age for the best blood. Other than that, there were many differences, some women, some men, short, tall, thin, obese, and everything in between. They had been bathed and clothed in soft cotton that fit loosely.

As he made his way to the center of the head table to sit next to Jaehee, he ruminated on that word. Vampire. The myths that had grown around that name were laughable. Garlic didn’t bother them, crossing running water was as easy for them as it was for humans, a stake through the heart would kill them, but, it would kill anyone else as well. And then there was holy water and crosses. How many times had he encountered a holy man waving a cross around as if it would repel him in any way. Pious or not, did not matter. They slept as any human did, and did not do it in a coffin, nor did they need the “soil from their homeland”. It was all nonsense. The only thing they had right was that they needed blood to survive. But even that was muddled. Had there been instances where one of their kind had taken without consent. Yes. And there had even been some unfortunate deaths from those newly birthed. On the whole however, they were not so different from the humans, albeit stronger. He did wistfully think about being able to turn into a bat or mist. It would feel wonderful to fly.

“Looks like a good harvest this year my lord.” Jaehee said as he sat next to her.

“Indeed.” He waited as V sat and watched Saeran, the younger of the twins, stand and settle next to Yoosung. The red head had taken quite a liking to the blond and it made Jumin smile to see it. MC came running in, her auburn hair flying behind her, she quickly scanned the room and her honey brown eyes settled on the older of the twins, Saeyoung. The smile that spread across her face was infectious. That had been a surprise. Especially since Saeyoung had been stuck in a dangerous depression. She sat by him and grabbed his arm, laying her head on his shoulder.

“Since we are all here, let’s begin.” Jumin said loudly. Attendants filed into the room and took the humans towards the contraptions lining the walls of the room. They settled each human next to each and attached thick needles into their jugulars. It didn’t take long for the blood to flood through the tube and into containers.

The draining was efficient and quick, the vampires chatting to themselves quietly, while keeping an eye on the scene around them. The smell of iron in the air brought out their fangs and they grew silent.

Once the containers were full the attendants freed the humans from the contraptions and led them gently to the seats around the table. They were a bit groggy and dazed but complied easily. As the last human was seated, the feast was brought in for them. The vampires sat and began to converse with the humans once they were again in their right minds. The night went well, the clan civilly waiting for the humans to be escorted out and back to their village before engaging in their own feast.

The blood, so fresh and still warm was poured into their glasses and they enjoyed the rest of the night, Jumin’s cheeks flushed, his mouth widening in a rare smile. His grey eyes met Zen’s crimson orbs and he sighed visibly. Zen grinned and gave him a wink before turning to speak to Yoosung. The man was a handful, but Jumin had always been up for a challenge.

[yennasun]

ahhhh how are you today?

Asking that first before giving out a perhaps angst prompt which is King slowly forgetting everything cause I have a knack for that a lot..

I'm doing very well, thank you!

And yeah I can do that, but I may not take as much pleasure in it as I usually do.

-------------------------------------

"Hey mango, time to go train!" Second shouted through MTs door.

"Huh-oh yeah! Coming!" He yelled back after snapping out of his temporary stupor.

He'd left himself a note to remind him that him, second and chosen were going to train together and help second improve himself as a fighter.

He stood up from his chair and got his gear on before heading out the door.

He walked down the hallway to see green in the kitchen making breakfast for...someone.

"Me an' second will be at training if you need us."

"Aight" Green said not looking up from his pan.

He made his way through the living room and over to the new training wing of the house, but not before opening the wrong door and finding yellow and blue snuggled up together while sat down"

"Uuhh what the fuck?!" Blue yelled

MT quickly slammed the door shut

"Sorry sorry! Wrong door!"

Weird, he usually didn't get the rooms mixed up like that.

He brushed it off and found the training wing where chosen and second had began without him.

Second was working on combinations on the punching had while chosen skipped rope to work on her footwork.

Second looked at him and stopped.

"You forgot your wraps." He said pointing at his hands

"Oh shit, you're right. Sorry" he turned around and headed back to his room

Weird, I don't usually forget those.

MT came back in and smiled his signature half-smile at them when they turned to him, deciding not to interrupt them again, he went over to a more open part to practice maneuvering.

He moved around, throwing punches at an imaginary enemy and took the time to practice stance-switching.

After about an hour of that, he began a friendly competition with chosen when he picked up another jump rope and began skipping right across from her.

MT started with a double hop and chosen did the same, then chosen skipped one foot out as she jumped.

The two kept going until they were practically dancing rope instead of skipping rope.

Unfortunately MT got too ambitious and lost his rhythm midway through but they'd both gotten a kick out of it.

About 30 minutes of exercise later and second approached MT

"Hey me & chosen are gonna go for a run, wanna come with?" MT thought about it for a second.

"Hmm, nah. I'm gonna work the speed bag for a bit, try and get back into the rhythm of it."

Chosen shrugged, "suit yourself" she said before leading second out of the wing.

Once they left he approached the speed bag and got into position.

The second he started hitting it he picked it back up immediately, executing incredibly complex patterns with his strikes and making the bag a blur with how quickly he was hitting it.

He felt like he was 10 years younger, like he was in his physical prime! Hell he'd even began imagining he was at his old gym, everything was bright and saturated but he felt the rhythm so well he got lost in it. He was doing it, he was doing it like he was made to!

"Mango!" He jumped as he felt a tap on his shoulder and hit the speed bag that'd apparently been still until then.

"Uh wha?" He turned to see second and chosen eyeing him with concern.

"I thought you said you were gonna go for a run?"

Chosen stepped forward.

"We did...that was almost 2 hours ago. How long have you been standing here staring like this?"

"What are you talking about!? You didn't see me hitting it, I was doing so good!" He said offended.

"No you weren't, in fact you weren't doing anything except standing there staring at the bag with that dumb smile on your face...are you feeling alright?" Chosen put her hand out to check his forehead.

He flinched away before brushing her hand away entirely.

"I'm alright, I'm probably just a little tired is all." He put his hands out to reassure the two of them.

They looked him over with such scrutiny that MT shifted uncomfortably.

"Well...okay, me and second are gonna spar some rounds. You're free to jump in if second here gets to tired and wusses out" she poked second on the shoulder

"Hey!" He said rubbing the area.

They strapped their gloves on and climbed through the ropes, waiting for MT to strike the bell.

He struck it with the little hammer that came with it, and the two got started.

As the rounds progressed, he remembered thinking how far second had to go before he could compete at the top level. But he also thought about how much potential he had, the kid just never gave up.

After about 4 rounds of chosen running second up and down the ring, he gassed out from the effort it took to chase her ghost-like target around.

"Lemme in, its been awhile since I got some rounds in."

The former welterweight champ looked at him for a bit before breathing in.

"All right, but we're doing light work. I'm still not convinced you're as right as you say you are." She said, drawing a frustrated grunt from MT.

Second cumbersomely went through the ropes to let MT in after he'd strapped his gloves on.

The two took a few seconds to stretch before second rang the bell.

Chosen's reputation preceeded her as she used mythically smooth and complex footwork patters.

He also found there was alot of truth to what many people called her "ghost jab" she had absolutely no tell for when she was about to throw it, no shoulder, peck or arm twitch at all.

She was also a master at range management as she always seemed to be just in range one second and just out of range another second.

This didn't mean MT was helpless against her however, far from it actually.

She may have had the flashy footwork, but his was dangerously efficient. On top of that he still had the reach advantage and used leverage blocks to throw chosen's punches off course.

MT got into a consistent rhythm and broke it regularly, switching stances in-between combinations to leave chosen out if position.

Chosen was landing all the jabs, but MT was landing the combos.

Except he wasn't really, chosen proved to have a very educated defense, using alot of the same defensive tactics that MT uses.

Second watched the two masters at work, both looked like they had superpowers, even if one did.

4 rounds in and MT began to get dizzy, but he pushed forward regardless. This was his idea and he'd see it through.

Halfway through chosen called a timeout and ungloved a hand as she approached MT.

"Wass wrong?" He asked groggily

"Your nose is bleeding." She said grabbing a paper towel from ringside.

She wiped as much of the blood off as she could but it just kept leaking out.

I didn't even hit him that hard...

"You alright?" She asked

MT nodded and she put her glove back on.

Second sounded the bell again and they continued for another 2 rounds.

Chosen had noticed a grogginess in his movement and even switched to a lazy defense, laying on the ropes and rolling her punches off his shoulder.

She landed another jab and his head went down as he stumbled, at that point she stopped the match. Something was clearly wrong.

"No no, we're done. You're not well." She helped him out of the ring and sat him down, second took notice at MTs lack of resistance and realized this was serious.

He dashed out of the room and came back with some water and he gaped at the sight.

Every part of his face under his nose had blood smeared on it, it looked like his brains leaked out!

"Fuck" chosen said under her breath as she wiped more blood.

There were so many pieces of paper towel that were unusable next to them as MT stared off, but it was clear he wasn't really there.

Chosen had finally managed to put a stop to the bleeding and From that point onward MT had been more loopy, slurring his words out from time to time like a drunk man.

Most didn't mind but blue poked fun at it for a bit and they all had a good laugh about it.

After dinner it was just MT and green in the kitchen, green noticed MT had been staring at his food with glassy eyes.

He tapped his shoulder and MT jumped.

"You should eat..." MT looked down and laughed.

"Oh heh, guess i'jus been sittin'ere 'uh?" He started eating.

But he stopped again, and green hears mts breath hitch in his throat.

MT stared down at his soup as everything got blurry and before he knew it, his face was on a direct collision course with his food.

Green turned around at the noise and panicked at the sight of MT, with teeth clenched and eyes rolling in the back of his head, violently convulsing on the ground. Knocking chairs and things off the table.

He froze in place, unsure of what to do before deciding on what he always did when something bad happened.

"BLUUUEEE!" He screamed as loud as he could.

Not even 10 second later the azure figure burst in and also screamed at the sight.

Use immediately begin move the chairs and table to clear the area around MT so he didn't hurt himself any further.

"He's having a seizure!" He yelled, turning MT on his side.

MT continued to convulse until they turned into small twitches before ceasing entirely, which worried green even more.

"Is...is he dead...?" He whispered bug-eyed

"No, he's just unconscious. Help me move him to the couch, he'll prob'ly be out all night."

Blue grabbed one arm and green grabbed the other as they dragged him and laid him on the couch.

Blue and green cleaned up the mess in the kitchen before going to sleep themselves.

The night rolled through quietly, but MT had a dream no, a nightmare.

He saw every single moment of his life go by him in an instant, from his time with his creator to his last moment with Rooney all the way to the events of earlier today.

And then it all vanished as MT began to feel himself being pulled, or rather blown, off the side of the cliff he stood on.

He tried to dig himself down but he just kept being dragged back until he was hanging off the side of the cliff.

He used all the force he could muster to cling to the side, not wanting to lose it all after having everything go so well. But alas, he plummeted into darkness.

Then he woke up.

He jumped up in a cold sweat and put his head in his hands, and when he looked up his heart rate pumped.

He was in a place so unfamiliar, yet he felt such a strange bond with it. It was cold and dark in the house he swore he'd seen before.

It all looked so familiar yet so foreign at the same time, he could hardly make sense of it.

He looked around and got up, walking down the massive, maze-like home very slowly, looking around as he did to see if he could make sense of any of it.

This must be my house...weird

He found himself in a kitchen, and opened the fridge. Maybe some drinks would clear his confusion a bit?

But as he did, he spotted a figure in the hallway.

"Oh hey mango" the unfamiliar voice croaked

"Who'he...who're you?! Whaddaya doin' i'my house?!" He yelled

"Your house?" The figure asked, confused.

"This'is m'house isn't it?!" He asked sarcastically.

As he asked that, another figure came from the hallway.

"Can you guys shut up? We're trying to sleep"

"Who the hell're you?" Mango asked

"Uhh, blue? Y'know...we've known eachother for almost 3 years now?"

"I think he's delusional...mango listen-"

"Why'dya keep calling me that?" The yellow looking stick glanced worriedly at the blue one.

"Because thats what you...asked us to call you?" Her suspicion was replaced by concern.

He looked at the two some more and looked around.

"Where m'I?"

"You're home." Blue said simply

"But i thought this wasn't my house..."

"It's not, it's OUR house...we all live here."

He looked from them and back around, before coming to realization.

"Ohh...blue n yellow...heh sorry, wow I mus'be goin' crazy.." let out a half hearted laugh.

"Yeah sure seemed like it, do you need to get checked out?" Blue asked

"No, no I'jus gotta lil' confused is all...sorry 'bout that." He turned around before hearing them behind him.

"Your room is this way" Blue pointed to the farthest left door down the hall.

MT went down and opened the door, flopping into bed after taking in all the now familiar sights, scents and sounds, before falling asleep again.

This dream started out as a good one, he was on a warm, sunny plain with everyone he loved.

They were all there, even roony. but before long their faces began to distort and their voices turned into simply sounds.

Then everything devolved into sights and sounds that just made no sense.

Everything was drowned out before he found himself in a black endless void, unable to move or speak.

He woke up to the sensation of sunshine hitting his face and he looked around.

This is definitely my room

He heard a knock on his door and an orange stick came in, but his head wasn't colored...weird.

"Hey mango! Gonna come train?" Second asked, but instead of jumping at the opportunity like he usually did he just stared at him.

His gaze was very observant, as if trying to deduce WHAT he was rather than WHO he was.

Second looked around uncomfortably before clearing his throat.

"Ahem...is there uhh...is there something on my face?" MT shook his head a bit

"No its jus...heh...um...who're you again?"

Second felt hopelessness and grief overcome them, he'd had a conversation with chosen the night before, one he'd hoped he'd never have to have.

"I think he might be slipping...don't be surprised if he can't remeber who you are...it's gonna be difficult but if my hunch is correct he'll need all the support you can give him."

Second lost sleep over it, hoping and praying she was wrong.

But he nearly broke down when MT spoke again.

"Who...am I?"

---------------------------------------------------

Obligatory lesson about CTE in combat sports, when you take a hit to the head your brain releases a chemical called Tau proteins to aid in the healing process. However these proteins can malfunction in high amounts and lead to death in the brain cells.

From here, symptoms of brain damage occurs; short term memory loss, seizures, mood swings, s*ic*dal thoughts, etc.

If the damage continues it will lead to something called dementia pugalistica...I'll let you infer what happens from there based off the name alone.

So if you see any professional combat sports athlete, no matter how unlikable they are, please show them respect. Most of them will be robbed of their senior years and risk condemning themselves to the worst fate imaginable for our entertainment. And if you participate in combat sports and full contact sparring, please please damnit please take care of yourself and be safe while you do.

I usually end these off positively but writing about this reminded me of my first time hearing about CTE. It scared me so bad I nearly quit combat sports alltogether and lost sleep wondering if I was too late, at that point I'd done it for over 12 years and I definitely took some bad hits over that time.

[crushculture03]

Chapter 10

~ Time skip it's now the first week in February ~

Tour has been going great so far, for the past week they have preformed in New york, New Jersy, and Philidphia. The band had just gotten to chicago last night and now had a free day around the city, before the show tomorrow.

Things between julie and Matty had been amazing, they spent as much time together as they could, and tonight was the night matty was finally going to ask her to be his girlfriend. He had been planning it out for the past couple days, making sure he had all the reservations right and that he knew what to say.

"Hey jules you almost ready darling?" Matty asked, from outside the bathroom door. "Yeah sorry!" she responded, stepping out of the bathroom, "Could you zip up my dress?" she asked, turning around and lifting up her hair. Matty nodded, placing his hands on the zipper and slowly closing the back of her dress, he leaned forward when he was done and whispered "you look gorgeous jules". A blush spread across her face as she turned around to face him, "you look quite handsome as well" she said, placing her hands on his chest, admiring the way the suit fit him just right.

"This is so fancy for a second date" she said, making her way to their bed and putting on her shoes. "Well you deserve it" he said, sitting down next to her. "It doesn't matter if it's fancy or not, just as long as I have you" she said, looking over at him with a smile on her face.

She recalled their first date, which was in Philidphia, the two ordered room service, smoked a joint and watched a movie. To her it was the perfect first date, but matty kept apologizing saying how he wished he could take her out to an actual restaurant for the date, but jules reassured him that she was just happy to be there with him. And as soon as Jaime had told the band they would have a free day in chicago, he started planning the perfect second date.

"You're so cheesy" he chuckled, placing a quick kiss on her lips, "Now you ready to go, i think the car is waiting down stairs" Matty said, as he stood up, reaching out his hand for her to take. Jules quickly took his hand, and the two headed out the door hand in hand.

"I think you're really going to like this place" matty said, as the two made their way to the uber that was waiting for them downstairs. "I'm excited!" she said, the grin never leaving her face.

Eventually the two had arrived at a very fancy italian restaurant, matty had gotten out of the car first, so he could open jule's door and lead her inside. "Wow this place is really fancy" jules responded, admiring the different fairy lights that decorated the patio and the dressed up waiters walking around the restaurant .

"Yeah! I've been here before with the band when we were on our last tour, and I really enjoyed it, so I wanted to bring you here" matty responded, and lead her up to the host stand. After giving his name to the host, she began to led the two too a private room towards the back of the restaurant, "Here you both are and your waiter will be right with you" the girl smiled and then left the room.

"Wow private room, you really know how to treat a girl Healy" Jules said, smiling at him as she sat down. "What can I say I want you to myself, plus as much as I love meeting fans I wanted to make sure you and I were able to have a private moment together" matty responded, as he picked up the menu infront of him. "Well that's very sweet" she responded, just then the waiter walked in to take the couple's drink orders, and soon after putting their drink orders in they also put their food orders in.

"So my friend Hailey keeps bugging me telling me how she wants me to set her up with ross" jules said, as she took a sip of her wine. Matty chuckled softly "I think we could make that work" he responded, excited at the thought that he could potentially play match maker for one of his bestfriends.

"You know I've never been this happy before" jules said, admiring the boy from her seat. "Me either, I feel so lucky that we met" Matty responded, reaching over to grab her hand. The two sat there making small talk about their lives and the upcoming tour shows, Jules said how she was most excited for the California shows, as that was where she was from and she would get to see some of her friends and family.

Eventually dinner came and went, and after the two paid, they made their way to the cute little park across the street. Matty lead her to a small alcove that was in the corner of the park, it was filled with rose bushes and lamps lined the sidewalk going up to one lone bench that stood at the end.

The two made their way over to the bench and sat down sat down ; Matty quickly pulled jules into his arms and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Jules in the time we've gotten to know eachother, I've fallen for you faster then I ever had before, you make me so happy you know that? Like whenever I see you in the crowd singing along or seeing you after the show all curled up in bed, I just ask myself How did I get so lucky to find someone like you. I've even written a few songs about it which you'll hear later on, but what I'm trying to say is Julie Foreman will you be my girlfriend?" matty asked.

Jules popped her head up and looked at the boy, a wide smile painted on her face. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a short but passionate kiss "I'd love to be your girlfriend matty" she smiled and kissed him again. "I feel the same way you know, I've never been so happy in my life, whenever I'm stressed out you're always there to make me smile, truthfully I always get butterflies when ever you're around" she responded, matty smiled and pulled her into another kiss.

After 30 minutes of just soaking in eachothers company, the two decided to make their way back to the hotel. "This was the most magical night ever, thank you" jules responded, as they got into their hotel room, "I can't believe I get to call you my boyfriend, it doesn't feel real" she giggled, and turned to face him.

"I can't believe I get to call you my girlfriend" he responded, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, his hands climbed up her back and fou nd her zipper. He slowly pulled it down, opening the back of her dress "Nice subtly healy" jules chuckled, and leaned in to kiss him. She slowly stepped out of her dress and laid down on the bed, Matty had pulled off his suit jacket and tie, quickly unbuckling his belt and tugging off his trousers. He hovered over the girl, placing soft kisses all around her face and down her neck, occasionally nipping at the skin, leaving small love bites.

For the rest of the night the two spent tangled up in eachother, relishing in the joy of their new relationship,

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      

Chapter 12 - The Depression pt 2. Episode 1.

Andy: *I woke up around noon, I felt like I had slept for a year! Evan was nowhere to be seen, no matter where I searched in the house. Neither was Congo nor Willy. But at least Congo had left a note, that he had gone to town to pick up some wood for a closet he was building. He came home mid afternoon, turns out he had run into my parents, and they had all 3 quickly decided to grab a meal together at the local diner where my mom had gotten a part time job. I had tried Evan's phone a couple of times, but he hadn't picked up, so naturally I was worried sick by the time Congo walked in the door. I kept calling Evan the next couple of hours, but it wasn't until mid evening we found out he was okay. Gaby had by random bumped into him and were having a talk with him, a talk he later told me about. But according to Gaby, he had mid conversation, gotten up, with the excuse he had to pee. But only seconds later she had heard him take off on his bike. It wasn't until a few hours later I finally heard from him. I was on Facebook again, posting pictures with love quotes for him. Yeah yeah, I'm cheesy. Guilty as charged. And finally he bit the bate, commenting on one of them:*

Evan: 'I'm okay. But I need you to pick me up. Please?'

Andy: 'Just tell me where you are? I'm jumping in my car right now!'

Evan: 'No, please ask Congo to drive you, in his car. My bike is here…Please take Congo with you, we need him to help us get it up on the truck.'

Andy: 'Okay. Can I call you?'

Evan: 'I don't have much battery, and a call takes too much power. Please just stay with me here as long as I still have power. I'm at the swamps. You know where we were not so long ago. I'm pretty much next to the old railway bridge.'

Andy: 'Okay. We are on our way. Are you sure you are okay? I'm very worried about you!'

Evan: 'Yes, I'm okay. I'm sorry I left for so many hours, and that I left Gaby as well. I just felt like I was choking. Everything just came crashing down. I'm so sorry.'

Andy: 'It's okay. as long as you are okay, that's what matters the most. I love you so much Evan. I was so scared you left for good, or something had happened to you.'

Evan: 'No, I didn't leave with that intention. I love you too. Very much.'

Andy: 'Thank you. I'm so relieved, but I just cant relax completely till we get to you. Congo says we will be there in 5-10 minutes maximum, there is luckily no traffic on the streets, so we will get to you faster than expected.'

Evan: 'That sounds good. I miss you.'

Andy: 'I miss you too. I wish I could be with you right now! I just need to see you and be with you.' *As I didn't hear more from him, I naturally got anxious, hoping he was okay. And as we reached the place where he was supposed to be, but couldn't spot him, my heart skipped a few beats*

Congo: *Slowed down his truck* Andy… try to relax my love. I'm sure he will be here.

Andy: STOP!! *The word came out loud and high pitch*

Congo: *Immediately stepped on the breaks, making the car wheels whine* God Andy! Don't do that!

Andy: *I pointed out on one of the fields, and as Congo saw what I saw, I got out of the car so fast I stumbled over my own legs, and fell face forwards down into the dewy grass at the side of the road, yelping from pain, but I quickly got up and sprinted in the direction of Evans bike about 50-60 meters into the dark field. It was laying down, and there were clear marks on the grass indicating the bike had not been driving, but sliding. Oh god I begged he was okay!!*

[lady-byleth]

(Not sure if tumblr ate my ask bc my internet crapped out for a second so I’m resending it) ugh thank you for pointing out what has been bothering me about azure gleam. All the friends and answers in the world, and yet everything is still so bad for Dimitri :( I know people don’t want “the same story” but I feel like learning forgiveness for himself and letting go of hate was central to his character?? And taking it away makes this ending where he does get revenge feel empty :/

(looks like it did eat your ask, stupid internet *shakes fist*)

Yeah, I'm totally with you. He had so much hatred that had no direction until it latched onto the first person who vaguely made sense - Edelgard - and completely warped his priorities during the time skip.

And to add to that he had so much self loathing that kept eating him from the inside out and every time he didn't get the revenge he wanted those two sides grew stronger and he just kept getting worse...he was destroying himself more than his enemies and it was so important to him that Byleth stayed by his side no matter what he said or did and patiently guided him back towards the right path until he was ready to walk it himself...

That was so integral to his character and story. People want revenge, that's just natural, but if you let it consume you it will do more harm than justice. The best you can do for the dead is remember them and live on for them as well

By letting him take his revenge and answer every question he had his entire story turned on its head cuz he and everyone feeds into his hatred. Even Ingrid eventually gets it in her head that she has to kill Thales so Glenn can rest in peace and that was not the message the first game gave us

Hell, it was said repeatedly that by doggedly chasing his revenge Dimitri was the one who couldn't let the dead rest

He had to want to move forward to really start healing and to do so he had to let go of the grudge that's been keeping him going for almost 10 years. That's a conscious choice he makes. But in Hopes he doesn't even consider that, he just keeps chasing it until it's over and what then? The war is still on. He has his answers but nothing is resolved.

In Azure Moon he consciously chose to follow the path Byleth showed him over his own desires and with that saved himself and brought lasting peace to Fodlan.

I totally get that they wanted to do something new and make the routes unique but they could've maybe not spit on everything that was important about Dimitri's character while doing so

[lg-secretsx]

Questions for you! Feel free to skip any if you don't like them, or do all whatever you want! :)

Something small that has made you smile or brought you joy this week.

Something you're looking forward to.

How many tattoos do you have?

You have $10 to spend on gas station snacks for a road trip. What do you buy?

What are the most important character traits you look for in a partner?

Are you friends with more introverts or extroverts?

How do you personally determine what areas/aspects of your life you need to maintain autonomy in vs being open to submitting?

Do you like to wear jewelry? If so tell us what kinds you like.

What household chore is your least favorite?

Are you currently watching any TV shows? If so what ones & would you recommend them to others?

Aww thank you Amy! These are such good questions.

Something small that brought me joy was getting this ask from you :)

I'm looking forward to seeing my new tattoo when it's finished! I literally booked this appointment a year ago and it kept getting pushed back cause of covid spikes.

I think I have 7 tattoos? Or 8? Lol

Honestly I love beef jerky which some people may think is gross lol but it's such a good snack and actually filling cause it has protein!!! That and gummy bears 🧸

In a partner, I look for intelligence/interest in having intellectual or analytical discussions, emotional availability (learned that the hard way), and generally sort of counter-culture in a way, whether that's being neurodivergent, having experienced mental health issues, having a bunch of tattoos, or just generally interested in following their own free spirit instead of just following society's rules. Also obviously dominance, chivalry, and they need to be a feminist.

I'm definitely friends with more introverts because I like one on one time with friends. I myself am an introvert and sometimes also struggle with shyness/social anxiety so I usually click best with people who like to just have deeper, fewer relationships rather than people who just love to be around lots of other people all the time.

This one is hard... I think first of all I like to submit in areas where there are things I can't do or don't want to do. For example my ex would always drive, partly because I have bad anxiety with driving. I think I like to keep my autonomy in areas where I need to be in control and can't rely on him - for example, my job - while I can submit in areas where I can let go of control without it interfering with my overall functioning or self worth - for example, him ordering for both of us or choosing where to go. The first example is just a *me* thing so I don't want to submit in that area, while the second example is an *us* thing so I'm okay with submitting. I think I also always need to feel like submission is a choice and that I'm not just using it as a crutch (except in the case of driving, but I feel that is an extreme case because of my anxiety). Part of it is also intuition, like the voice in my head that says "No, I need my voice here." I don't know if I answered this well?? It's hard to figure out if there are other patterns to it!

I do like jewelry! I really like opal, I think it's so pretty. And some of my jewelry channels my little self and is kind of like kawaii style. I also just got my belly button repierced which I loveee.

Least fav household chore - cleaning the bathroom. Ugh. Although tbh it's not as bad now that I don't live with a man LOL

I honestly love the reality TV show Welcome to Plathville lol I find it really entertaining. I'm not really watching others right now tbh! I am trying to read more lately.

Thank you again for the great questions & I hope you are having a lovely day 💌