Tumgik
#i knew she was fucked up by what happened today
checkeredflagggs · 13 hours
Text
Aftermath of a Storm
Pairing: oscar piastri x sargeant!Storm chaser!fem!reader
summary: people are shocked to learn about alice and oscar
a/n: tbh i really meant for the first part to have more of the other drivers learning about Barbie and Alice but obviously that didn’t happen 😂
a/n 2: timelines? What timelines? Idk know them
Part 1
Tumblr media
Twitter
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Private Messages - Logan, Oscar, Alice
Tumblr media
Private Messages - The Grid, Fun
Tumblr media
Private Messages - Logan, Oscar, Alice
Tumblr media
mclaren
Tumblr media
liked by drbarbie, teammate1, logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 4,822,445 others
tagged: drbarbie, oscarpiastri
mclaren: Check the weather this weekend! Because there must be a storm moving in —Oscar Piastri is taking Dr. Alice “Barbie” Sargeant, Williams Racing’s Logan Sargeant’s twin sister and notable storm chaser, on a hot lap here in Mexico!
view all comments
user1: oh my god this is everything I never knew I needed
user2: oh yeah hey mclaren don’t forget to mention THAT THEY ARE DATING
oscarpiasti: it’s gonna be a good time!
logansargeant: it’s been nice knowing you
oscarpiasti: I’m sure it’ll be fine
logansargeant: you sure about that? you SURE about that?
logansargeant: are we talking about the same girl?
user4: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
used5: LET US IN. LET US IN!! YOURE AMERICAN — SPILL THE TEA
landonorris: Oscar! You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend!!!! 😡😡😡
oscarpiastri: I’m sure I mentioned it.
landonorris: I’m sure YOU HAVENT!?!
oscarpiastri: of course I have. are you sure you were listening?
landonorris: of course I was LISTENING! You just haven’t said A WORD!? Since when have you had a girlfriend?
oscarpiastri: we’ve been together for nearly 7 years
landonorris: 7 years?!?
oscarpiastri: yes.
landonorris: WHAT?!??!
user6: WHAT?
user7: uhh raise your hand if you had Oscar Piastri has a secret girlfriend, Logan Sargeant has a twin sister, or the two would be the same person on your bingo card this year
user8: ok but if anyone on the grid had a secret girlfriend of course it’s gonna be Oscar?
user7: you got me there
user9: 7 years?!? How do you hide a girlfriend for 7 years? Especially one as cool as drbarbie?
user10: user9 asking the real questions
user11: right?? How did some guy who drives in silly circles score such a cool badass girlfriend?
drbarbie: I ran over him with my bike one day
user11: WHAT?!?
drbarbie: ummmm what is this??? oscarpiastri WHAT DID YOU DO???
logansargeant: apparently signed you up to tackle a hot lap
drbarbie: NO
drbarbie: ABSOLUTELY NOT
drbabrie: SPEED AND I DO! NOT! MIX!!
drbarbie: oscarpiastri ANSWER YOUR PHONE
drbarbie: nicolepiastri where is your son? I’d like to have some words with him
nicolepiastri: you and me both sweetie
user12: you chase tornadoes but can’t do a hot lap?
drbarbie: THERE IS A MAJOR DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO!
user13: and you prefer the storms?
drbarbie: YES!!
f1gossippage
Tumblr media
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, teammate1, and 3,997,455 others
f1gossippage: a hot lap for the records! Oscar Piastri drove girlfriend Barbie Sargeant around the track twice today! Definitely seems like she’s not a fan
view all comments
user14: not a fan? I’d say 😂 I didn’t know anyone could scream that high tbh
user15: those were genuinely screams of terror…save my girl 😭
user16: Barbie Sargeant? Nah fam you did not do my girl dirty like that. Put some respect in her damn name. It’s DR. ALICE “BARBIE” SARGEANT
user17: oh thank god someone said it. She did not get 2 phd’s by the time she was 21 to have that be disrespected
user18: no shit really?
user17: yes! She graduated with double phd’s in meteorology and mechanical engineering from Cornell when she was 20!
used18: so fucking cool! And yea! PUT SOME DAMN RESPECT IN HER NAME!
user19: someone with more experience needs to watch this entire clip and then make gif sets of the ENTIRE thing because her face goes on a lot of journeys
user20: most of those journeys end in murder i think
drbarbie: they do. They will
logansargeant: maybe don’t threaten Oscar on a public instagram post?
drbarbie: for once in your life, stay in your lane. Unless you’d like to join him?
logansargeant: …carry on.
user20: logansargeant what was that??
logansargeant: I support women’s Rights and Wrongs
drbarbie: good
oscarpiasti: oh these are good pictures!
drbarbie: you are a dead man walking Piastri
oscarpiastri: would you really hurt me?
drbarbie: yes
oscarpiastri: what about my mother and sisters?
drbarbie: nicolepiastri soooo…you’re gonna be down a son soon. I can offer Logan?
nicolepiastri: oh we’d love to have the two of you visit again soon logansargeant and drbarbie
oscarpiastri: nicolepiastri mum??
user21: not nicolepiastri supporting this 🤣😭
teammate1: 😂😂😂
drbarbie: I sign your checks. Watch yourself
teammate1: girl this is too damn funny
drbarbie: 🙄😑
Private Messages - Oscar, Logan, Alice
Tumblr media
drbarbie
Tumblr media
liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, and 3,728,388 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
drbarbie: it’s your turn now! 🥰
view all comments
user22: the hearts make this a very ominous message
drbarbie: it’s supposed to be!
user22: oh!
oscarpiastri: babe?
oscarpiastri: what do you mean my turn?
drbarbie: I told you! I’d only ever get in your car when you get in mine!
drbarbie: so convenient that you have a break and dolly is back from the mechanics right now! 🧡🩵🧡
oscarpiastri: ummm…🏃🏻‍♂️💨
user23: ok but is she really gonna take him through a tornado???
user24: that does seem like it’s the plan?
user23: I can’t watch this 🙈
user24: she’s a professional?
drbarbie: more confidence in me please
user24: you right you right
user: SHES A PROFESSIONAL
drbarbie: thank you!
logansargeant: good luck! Have fun!
drbarbie: 😊😊😊
logansargeant:…no.
logansargeant: What did I do?
logansargeant: come on I helped you
logansargeant: I’m on your side!!
teammate3: dolly is ready to roll!!
oscarpiastri: that better be a joke
teammate1:…
teammate2:…
teammate3:…
teammate4:…
teammate5:…
Private Messages - The Grid, Serious
Tumblr media
drbarbie
Tumblr media
liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, charles_leclerc, and 4,288,373 others
tagged: oscarpiastri, logansargeant
drbarbie: don’t worry guys! They made it through the “storm” a-ok! (Come on guys, have a little faith. I’d never actually take someone unprepared into an actual tornado. Plus prime tornado season is over for the year!)
view all comments
user25: oh thank god. I was so very nervous
user26: girl you ain’t the only one. Check the video at 14:25. Oscar’s fingers are fucking white with panic 😂😂
oscarpiastri: thank you love for not subjecting me to a tornado
logansargeant: yes thank you my very favorite sister who is definitely the best and best and most wonderful
oscarpiastri: yes! Most wonderful and loving and beautiful girlfriend ever
drbarbie:…laying it on a little bit thick aren’t you?
logansargeant: quite literally whatever I have to do so I never ever ever ever have to get in that truck again!
drbarbie: don’t you dare disrespect dolly!
logansargeant: never!
oscarpiastri: dolly is a queen! We aren’t worthy.
logansargeant: yes! We definitely shouldn’t be in that truck ever again
drbarbie: babies…fine
user26: wow!!!! 🤩 those photos are stunning!
drbarbie: thank you! When I was planning this I knew the conditions were gonna be good for some nice thunderstorms but even I didn’t expect this level!
user26: so you just…followed them around?
drbarbie: yup! It’s something our parents used to do for me when logie and I were young - the driving being a lot more calm then normal is just about the only difference (my passengers complained the entire time 🙄)
user27: oh that’s so cute! (They seem like the type 😂)
landonorris: stunning
drbarbie: thank you!
oscarpiastri: no
landonorris: I didn’t say anything?
oscarpiastri: and yet the answer is no. Go away
georgerussell63: shut down!
landonorris: why am I catching strays on my comment thread???
charles_leclerc: these are magnificent photos! And it looked like a fun trip to get them
drbarbie: thank you! (Oh my god oscarpiastri I’ve been noticed by your father!)
oscarpiastri: that’s cool babe
charles_leclerc: yes! Welcome to the family. We expect you for dinner soon
drbarbie: score!
alicepublic
Tumblr media
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, and 3,590,455 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
alicepublic: happy anniversary my love. The best 7 years of my life so far — with many more to go 🧡🧡🧡
view all comments
oscarpiastri: I can’t believe that it’s only been 7 years, I feel like I’ve known you for a lifetime already — I couldn’t imagine spending it with anyone else.
alicepublic: oh my love…
user28: water is wet. Fork found in the kitchen. I’m sleeping on the highway!
user29: sleepover!!
oscarpiastri: You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me 🩷
mclaren: you won the race last week?
alicepublic: uhhh your point?
oscarpiastri: and? I said what I said!
mclaren: alrighty then! Well said!
charles_leclerc: happy anniversary my son and daughter in law!
alicepublic: not a daughter in law yet but thank you!
oscarpiastri: soon!
alicepublic: WHAT?!? 😳 🫢
logansargeant: 7 years of being a third wheel and they don’t even tag me…EVEN THOUGH I'M VERY BLATANTLY IN THIS PHOTO DUMP
alicepublic: chill out dude
oscarpiastri: thank you for being our favorite third wheel and for taking these wonderful photos
logansargeant: Oscar is my favorite
alicepublic: I’d be mad but same tbh
user30: it’s been years but yay! Dr Barbie’s priv account is finally open
user31: oh my god baby her and baby Oscar are so cute!
user30: I know!! I’ve been getting fomo going through her posts - like what do you mean I haven’t been growing up with them?
user32: yeah alicepublic can we get an explanation for that photo near the beginning of you on a bike and Oscar bleeding?
alicepublic: that was the first day we met! My bike broke (no brakes) and as I was trying to slow down I accidentally ran over Oscar!
oscarpiastri: best accident I’ve ever had!
user32: ok this is the cutest meet-cute! ♥️
landonorris: unfortunately you guys are cute…
alicepublic: what 🥺 🥺 …
oscarpiastri: what do you mean unfortunately?
landonorris: yeah — can’t have anyone cuter than me in the garage so you’re uninvited to mclaren
oscarpiastri: happily you can’t make those decisions (slides $5 to mclaren)
mclaren: don’t worry alicepublic ! Permanent paddock pass for you!
landonorris: WHAT? NO!
landonorris: IM STILL CATCHING STRAYS ON MY COMMENT THREADS
223 notes · View notes
owuwi · 2 days
Text
NATALIE SCATORCCIO
summary: she can't be into you, so why not distance herself?
pairings: natalie scatorccio x fem!r
warnings: angst, a tiny bit suggestive, detailed description of throwing up, internalized homophobia from natalie
2.0k words
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Natalie wasn't into girls. She wasn't opposed to fucking them but she wasn't romantically attracted to them. Or at least that's what she thought until she started seeing you in a different way.
You were the whole package; not only were you easy on the eyes but you actually cared about Natalie. That's why she immediately started to distance herself from you the moment she realized that she was starting to get too attached.
A bit of context here; you were Nat's person. You were the only one who she trusted enough to talk about every single shit that happened to her. You were always there for her no matter what and she even tried to 'return the favor' and be there for you — though it didn't always work but at least she tried —.
You protected her, you defended her and she — grumpily — allowed you to. She'd be lying if she said that it didn't make her feel good, that it didn't make her feel safe, but she simply wasn't ready to admit it. She wasn't someone easy to be around, let alone date, so she thought that avoiding you was her way of protecting you back.
Your friends and even Natalie's didn't understand why you were so persistent about her, why you tried so hard to show people that she wasn't a bitch or any of those terrible things they called her, but you weren't doing it for them, you were doing it for Nat. You needed her to stop being so harsh on herself. Your efforts didn't go unnoticed by the dirtyblonde-haired girl, in fact, it only made her like you even more.
She skipped school today which was something you were already used to, but you were worried about her thanks to the fact that she hasn't been calling you back nor meeting you at your spot — yeah, you and Natalie had a secret place where you would meet each other before school —. That's why you built every ounce of courage and decided to pay her a visit after your classes.
Natalie's house — trailer — wasn't unknown to you but you never actually walked there without her permission. She was always telling you when to show up or not, and it was always at times when she was completely alone. You were obviously aware of the issues she had with her family which is why you never visited her unless she told you to, and you prayed that this visit wouldn't get her in trouble.
You knew she was home alone by the sight of her sitting on the stairs of her trailer, a bunch of light-out cigarets and a pair of empty bottles — most likely of booze — scattered around the pavement. Seeing Natalie like this pained you more than she understood but you knew you needed to be strong for her, that's why you walked closer to her, ready to help her in any way possible.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Natalie, though, didn't seem happy by your presence at all. The slim girl immediately stood up after letting out those slurred words, her voice as rough and deep as always.
You knew she was just drunk and payed no attention to her sharp tone of voice, instead, you took a deep breath and approached her even more. There was an odd tension between the two of you; the air suddenly thickening around you, the sounds of the trailer park muffling as your feet moved towards the girl.
"I asked you a question." She spoke again, looking at you with a mix of confusion and discomfort in her gaze. The way she was staring at you was enough to send shivers down your spine, a look you've never received from Natalie before.
Making her mad was definitely not going to be a good thing, especially not when you were trying to get answers for her startled behavior. "I was worried.." Is all that managed to come out of your mouth, your voice sounding shaky and stuttered. It was obvious that Nat was drunk — you could now smell the alcohol on her breath due to how close she was —, hence is why you understood that she wasn't in her right mind.
The girl in front of you simply scoffed, a cold, raspy noise coming from the back of her throat and slipping past her cut-clad lips. You'd be lying if you said you've never thought about kissing them, about feeling them pressing against every inch of your body. Though right now wasn't the moment to be thinking about that stuff, it was almost as if Natalie could read your mind; her eyebrows furrowing slightly as she stares at you.
"Leave me alone, don't you understand that i don't want you close to me? Or are you so fucking stupid that you can't realize something as simple like that?" She quickly asked again, but you could see the way her bottom lip was slightly trembling while she looks at you.
"What's going on, Nat? Why are you acting like this?" You couldn't help but to ask your friend, shifting even closer to her, your words dripping with serious concern and affection — which was definitely not helping her with her mixed feelings —.
Natalie wanted nothing more but to yell at you, to punch you until you were a bloody mess on the pavement, but she couldn't. There was never a violent — hell, not even a negative — thought about you in her mind. For her, you were perfect; an angel sent from heaven to keep her safe. Despite how fuzzy her head was due to all the alcohol and cigarets she had, you were all she could think about.
That's why she grabbed the collar of your shirt and crashed her lips against yours, so roughly that you swore your lips were going to bruise. It was a quick kiss, though messy and filled with anger, it wasn't enjoyable. You couldn't even kiss her back, your hands hovering over her sides but not fully resting against them. What were you supposed to do? Natalie kissed you like some sort of rabid animal — grunts slipping past her lips — and you could taste the cigarets and licor she previously had.
She pulled away some moments later, allowing her forehead to rest against your own, and everything was quiet for some moments. "Because of you... why can't you fucking see that?" She rasped out, her eyes slowly fluttering open to look at you.
There was an evident hint of lust in the girl's gaze but there was something else; a hint of fear glimmering in her eyes. You knew she wasn't doing well yet you couldn't bring yourself to say anything, you were paralyzed — her taste still lingering in your tongue —.
"I can't do this shit... you know that.." She continued talking before closing her eyes and pushing you away — which caused you to stumble back a bit —, acting as if you were the one who kissed her. She then ran her fingers through her ruffled hair, clearly trying to hold back her emotions.
Despite still being quite in shock, you knew that you needed to say something before she dugs herself further into this messy hole. That's why, after taking a deep breath and really thinking about your words, you speak up; "Y-You're... too drunk. Let me help you, please.." You weakly muttered out, offering her a small, almost shy smile before gently reaching out to grab her hand.
Now, Natalie was definitely not a touchy person. She actually hated to be touched — always flinching whenever someone got too close — but you were different. You were you, and she would always allow you to do whatever you wanted with her — though she wouldn't say it out loud —. So seeing the way she roughly slaps your hand away and then takes a step backwards hurt you more than you thought it could.
"Don't—...." She trailed off, looking at you with parted lips for a moment before lightly shaking her head side-to-side and then turning around. She sat down on the edge of the stairs once again, resting the back of her head against the door of the trailer. "Don't touch me.." She managed to continue her sentence, looking up at you like a kicked puppy.
Her eyes were red and filled with un-shed tears, her body visibly shaking, and you knew that was going on in her head. She needed her person right now — she needed you — and you could tell. Even though she was going to complain, you simply sat down next to her and then let out a sigh. You couldn't look at her, you were confused. Did Nat liked you? Did she wanted to be something more than just friends? Or was it the booze in her system? Millions of thoughts were racing through your mind until the sound of her voice snapped you back into reality.
"My uh... m-my dad's gonna be here any time soon... you should leave.." She warned you, looking over at you through hooded eyes, a hint of concern hidden in her words. Despite everything, she still cared about you.
"I'm not leaving you... especially not when you're like this." You quickly protested before bitting down on your bottom lip. An idea crossed your mind, an idea drunken-Natalie wouldn't enjoy, and you knew it was the right thing to do. Before the dirtyblonde-haired girl could say anything, you spoke again.
"You should come with me, you're in no state to see your—... dad." You then added, your voice cracking with nervous and even hesitation. There was a glimpse of anger noticeable in the girl's eyes for a moment before she looked away from you, her face turning into a wince before she threw up on the pavement.
You immediately grabbed her hair and hold it up for her, using your free hand to slowly rub soothing circles on her back — the fabric of her t-shirt soaked in cold sweat —. Natalie Scatorccio was probably the most stubborn person you've ever met, yet you hoped that she would allow you to help her in this moment.
"Please, just—... make it stop.." She weakly stuttered out, not being able to stop the warm liquid slipping past her lips. Natalie liked the effect of being drunk but she absolutely despised the consequences; puking and then being hangover the next day. The way she was acting like a little kid was only breaking your heart even more.
"C'mon..." You simply indicated before helping her get up, ignoring the putrefying smell of her vomit. You've helped Natalie during moments like this plenty of times yet you never truly realized how messed up it was; how fucked up it was.
The drunk girl was literally shaking, her body seeming much smaller than it ever did, and she was weak. She would never admit it but she was weak; she was so weak that she could barely walk on her own. If it wasn't for you, she'd probably be passed out on the cold floor, waiting for the inevitable to happen.
The next hours were a blur for the two of you; you managed to get her into your car and drove her to your house. Your family were — thankfully — out of town so you had your house to yourself. Natalie was mumbling nonsense under her breath the whole time you helped her into your place, you assisted her with brushing her teeth and even bathed her. In another time, another moment, the pair of you would've joked about this; you probably would've crack a joke or two, but this was different. Nat was barely conscious and she wasn't herself.
After giving her some fresh clothes, you lied her on your bed and she immediately passed out.
It was until midnight where she roused and she couldn't help but to break, tears rolling down the pale skin of her cheeks like a cascade. You obviously woke up yet you didn't say anything, you simply wrapped your arms around her figure and she allowed you to — she was so weak for you —.
With her head on your chest, she eventually calmed down, her lips parting to mumble out some simple words. "I'm so—... so sorry.."
66 notes · View notes
lovebittenbyevans · 3 days
Text
Fuel In The Fire | Ch.2
Tumblr media
Summary: You had a on and off relationship with Geto Suguru while being in college again. You juggled seeing him when you can until Gojo Satoru came into your life. Things get complicated when you tried to keep the relationship with Geto going and tried to keep a distance from being around Gojo. You began to wonder if you can actually see a real future with Geto or is it too late to moved forward into a new direction
Pairing: F1driver! Gojo Satoru x collegestudent! Female Reader x F1driver! Geto Suguru
Warnings: cursed words, slight flashback, slight angst
Previous: Chapter 1
Chapter 2
There it was….
Formula One Driver Gojo Satoru getting close with Geto Suguru girlfriend Y/N
It was out for everybody around the world to see it. There was nothing nobody could do. It was out to the whole world.
The footage shows Gojo looking almost like he wants to kiss you. You just stood there staring at him while you let him be that close to you. There was no turning back now.
“So, what’s going to happen between you and Geto?” Miwa asks, taking a seat across from you.
You raised your cup of coffee to your lips and took a sip. “I mean I can totally see you two being endgame for real.” Miwa continues to talk.
You let out a sigh as you place your cup on the table. “I don’t know. Geto and I have always been complicated together.” You were telling her truth.
“And what about Satoru?” She asks.
Letting out a breath, you thought about how to respond to her question. You didn’t want to say the wrong thing either.
You shrug. “There’s not much to say.”
Miwa raised her eyebrows as she gulped the rest of her drink. You were not in the mood to talk about your emotions and feelings.
“Uh huh.” She rose up from her chair and grabbed her backpack off the floor. “Let’s go, professor said we have guests coming to our class.”
You got up from your chair while holding your backpack. You walked out of the coffee shop cafe headed directly to campus. You step inside the school and go straight to your class.
“Please don’t bore us today.” Miwa grumbles, entering the classroom.
You entered the classroom and saw your professor Grant with a few Formula One drivers. You immediately recognized who they were.
Fuck!
Choso, Toji, Geto and Nanami were all here. You wanted to say something but decided not to. You were hoping your day went smoothly but you had a feeling what kind of day it would be.
You were going to take a seat next to Miwa when someone called out to you. “Y/N!” You gently turned around to see Geto standing there with the boys.
“H–Hey.” You stutter a little.
Stop being nervous, y/n
You walked over to them and hugged everyone except Geto, who gave you a kiss. “Let’s talk after class.” He whispered in your ear.
You stepped back as Choso spoke to you. “How are you doing, Y/N?” He was always so sweet to you even though you had to get used to him having his pierced eyebrow and tattoos on his neck.
“I’m good, can’t complain.” You said with a smile.
Toji and Nanami's gaze were fixed on you. You already knew the kind of looks they were both giving you.
Fuck my life! You wanted to scream those words so loud.
“Five minutes until we begin class.” Professor Grant announces.
You clear your throat. “I better go find my–” Toji cuts you off, he gives you another look. “Bring your ass over here, Y/N.”
Toji sometimes can be tough on you but you know he means well and he is looking out for the both of you.
You moved one step closer to him. “I have to take a seat, Toji.”
His dark eyes locked on yours. “When are you going to stop leading him on?”
You honestly shouldn’t be talking about this in class right now. This was not the time and place for it.
“Um, how is that any of your business?” You mock him.
Sometimes you wish Toji would be less protective and more polite in a way. He was always straight to the point.
“Y/N, I’m just looking out for the both of you but we both know whatever between you two has been going on for a while now.” He says.
Nanami joins the conversation. “He got a point there.”
You looked at Nanami as you heard Choso trying not to chuckle behind you. “Look, Geto has nothing to worry about.”
“Keep lying, buttercup.” Choso muttered.
You scoff and walk away, walking to your seat next to Miwa. You start to get annoyed that they're here. You sat down and took your notebook and black pen out of your backpack.
“What was that about?” Maki turned around in her seat in front of you.
You rolled your eyes. “Well, hello to you too”
Miwa chuckled softly. “All of them look so glad to see you.” You roll your eyes and feel annoyed.
As the class finally began, Professor Grant introduced the race car drivers who would be taking over the class for the day. You mostly listened to what they were saying.
“How do you deal with the media following you every race?” One of the students raised their hand while paying attention to them.
This time it was Geto who answered. “We mostly ignored them while focusing on what’s not going on around us.”
“And how do you deal with dating a college student in your late thirties and she is in her early thirties?” Another student asked a question.
And the shit begins
You immediately feel humiliated, but not ashamed. You drop deeper into your seat, resting your palm on your brow to cover your expression.
“Careful kid.” Toji warned him.
Choso pushed off the professor's desk. “We didn’t come here for you guys to ask personal questions that have nothing to do with you.”
Nanami interrupted. “We are here for you guys to learn so act like it.” His voice was serious.
You glance at them and mouth. “Thank you.” The three of them just nodded as they continued on with talking to the class.
“You don’t feel how many miles you go in a race car. You get used to it.” Geto said.
You wrote some stuff in your notebook before the professor dismissed class. You rose up from your seat placing your notebook and pen in your backpack.
“I must say maybe Toji feels the most about you.” Maki slung her backpack over her shoulder.
You shake your head. “In his dreams. No, he’s just protective, that's all. So are the others.”
Maki slung her backpack over her shoulder. “We will wait for you out there.” She walked out the classroom with Miwa behind her.
You close your backpack holding it with your hand going straight to the professor's desk. You gave a hug to each one of them before pulling away.
“Thank you guys again.” You tell them.
Nanami shrugs. “Don’t mention it.”
Choso fixes his hat on his head. “Geto, we will be outside waiting for you.” He walks off heading out the door.
Toji gave you a glare look as he walked out with Choso and Nanami. You stood there standing in front of Geto. You didn’t rush to speak first.
“Am I a joke to you? Why can’t you take me seriously?”
His question caught you off guard.
You slung your backpack over your shoulder. “No, I've been with you this whole time G.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t bullshit me, y/n. I see the way you were around him in that video.”
You huffs. “Nothing happened unlike you and her.” He knows exactly who you are talking about.
You see the way she looks at him every time you are with him. A part of you never saw yourself being in this type of situation.
He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “She doesn’t mean shit to me.” He took a step toward you. “I always wanted to be with you. You know that.”
Your gaze was on him. “Gojo, doesn’t mean nothing to me.”
He sighs, pressing his lips against your forehead. “Ok.” You can tell he didn’t believe you but he decided to brush it off.
You close your eyes for a moment then open your eyes. “Ok.” You turned around and walked out of the classroom door.
Choso, Nanami and Toji nodded at you before they walked away with Geto right by their side. Choso looked over his shoulder at you with those dark brown eyes. “Make good choices, buttercup!” He yelled out.
You suck your teeth and lean against the wall. “Kill me now.” You mutter to yourself. You didn't notice the tear rolling down your cheek.
You should have listened to yourself before you got into these situations. You should have let Geto go his own way but for some reason you can’t see him out of your life.
Being around Gojo that day brought back some memories you had avoided thinking about all this time. Even the words he used to say to you when you were in your mid twenties.
“I can never imagine my life without you. No matter where we go, what happens between us I will always love you.” Gojo said seriously.
You look at him not saying a word.
“I will always be here for you.” He says.
From that moment, you wanted to kiss him but that’s when Geto called you that day. Those words never went away no matter how hard you try.
You wipe your tears away with your hand when your two best friends approach you. “Y/N, are you ok?” Miwa had a concerned expression on her face.
“What’s wrong?” Maki asked.
You had to pull yourself together. Almost every student was staring at you and whispering to each other.
“I’m fine. I’m fine.” You sniffle, taking your phone out of your jeans pocket.
A bunch of formula one fanpages were following you on instagram as you looked at the notification on your screen. You received a few text messages from interviewers who wanted to talk to you about Geto and Gojo.
You ignored the notification and checked your text messages.
Geto: Race this weekend, let me know if you can make it
Geto: I just want to make sure we are good babe
Geto: I love you and I’m not losing you ❤️
Those words made your heart shattered to pieces. You heard him say those three words a few times to you even though you didn’t pay it no mind.
“Oh, he loves you!” Maki raised her voice.
You glare at her and put your phone back into your pocket. “Keep your voice down, Ma!” You quickly walk with them not letting nobody hear your conversation.
“He got it bad for you.” Miwa smirks.
You headed straight to your next class while laughing with them both. You only wish your life was normal again but you figured it was about to get complicated.
59 notes · View notes
heavyhitterheaux · 2 days
Note
“Maybe next time, check your surroundings”
You and Jack were currently trying not to look at one another because you knew that it would end up with the both of you laughing when Neelam was trying to be serious about the situation that occurred a few days ago.
However, that was short lived when you two made eye contact making Neelam’s face harden.
“This is NOT funny, you two.”
“Says who?” Jack asked her as he was trying to wipe away tears from his eyes. Seeing this sent you into a fit of giggles all over again.
“I swear the two of you wake up and ask yourselves what can we do to make Neelam’s job harder today and the two of you succeed every single time, I swear.” She responded as she rubbed her temples.
“Nee, come on. It’s not that big of a deal.” You told her as you laid across Jack’s lap and she instantly rolled her eyes.
“Not a big deal? A picture of your boobs are literally on the internet from your late night backseat shenanigans.”
“So are Rihanna’s.” Jack added and you quickly nodded.
“Oh, don’t even give me that. At least she was at an EVENT. The two of you were fucking in the backseat of Jack’s car.”
“Hmm, speculation! They don’t know that!” Jack yelled and you started laughing all over again.
“Do the two of you take anything seriously?”
“Define serious for us one time. And I thought it was a pretty good shot of my boobs anyway. Besides, we know you can make this whole thing go away.”
“Not the point Y/N!”
“Hey, at least I’m with my husband and not some random guy! Now that would send people over the edge. Besides, what's a little side boob action?”
“Y/N! THEY COULD SEE THE WHOLE BOOB! BOTH OF THEM! THE PICTURE IS SO CLEAR THAT THEY CAN SEE YOUR PIERCINGS IN THE PICTURE!”
“Oh, I hope they got a good angle of me, but it’s clear that they definitely did.”
“Hey, Nee, at least we didn’t break any beds this time.” Jack told her as he pulled you onto his lap and hugged you from behind.
“I will never forgive the two of you for waking me up in the middle of the night for that complete utter nonsense. Now I see why Urban says all of the time that the two of you make him sick.”
“I just love my wife, look how pretty she is. Stop hating.”
“We all know she’s pretty and no one is hating. You two are going to have 20 kids if you don’t get a damn grip.”
“He happens to always have a good grip on my thighs when he needs to.” You commented and Jack couldn’t help but to smirk.
“ENOUGH Y/N! ENOUGH!”
“Okay, are we done here? I need to go and get my wife pregnant.” 
Neelam sighed and knew deep down that the two of you would probably do it again and knew that there was no stopping you.
“Maybe next time, check your surroundings.”
“Sure, so they can get a show.”
“Y/N THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!”
51 notes · View notes
rafeslittleangel · 21 hours
Text
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
Summary: Rafe comes home to find out that you're hanging out with the pogues when he strictly told you not to and decides to teach you a lesson.
Pairing: Dark!Rafe × Girlfriend!Reader
Warnings: Substance abuse, violence, gun, mentions of bondage, abuse (choking, slapping and hairpulling)
Read at your own risk.
A/N: I tried dark!rafe!!! Sorry if it does not turn out as well as I hoped for it to be.
Words: 1.6K
The keys jangled in the hole, door unlocking. Rafe pushed the door open frustratedly, slamming it as he enters and shuts the door.
The house was dark, except some lighting in the living room and the dining room. Rafe sighed and walked upstairs, thinking you were asleep, considering it was 2am at night. He opened the shared bedroom door slowly, expecting to find his pretty girl on bed, hopefully in minimal clothing. Instead, he was faced with an empty bed and no girlfriend in sight.
It was an understatement to say Rafe was panicking.
His first thought was something happened to you and someone took you from him, but all the doors and windows had been locked. His first instinct was to grab his phone, shaky hands opening Life360.
"Fuck!" He shouted, your location was turned off.
He calls you, throwing his phone against the wall when the automated voice tells him your phone is switched off.
Breathing became quite a task for him, chest heaving, pupils red from doing coke just some time ago at Barry's. He shouted your name, hoping your voice would come from one of the guest rooms, exclaiming you had been here the whole time.
He picks up his phone, screen cracked but still functional. He calls Topper, storming the house as he checks all the rooms, almost ripping the doors off their hinges.
"What's up?"
Topper finally picks up, video game noises in the background.
"WHERE IS SHE!?" Rafe shouts, loud enough that Topper pauses his game, back straightening and alert.
"Where is who? Y/n? Isn't she home?"
"Would I be fucking calling you if she was home dumbass? Is she at your house?"
Topper frowns, rubbing his forehead.
"Bud, why the hell would your girlfriend be at my house? I'm gonna call Sarah and ask if she's seen her okay? Just-just stay at home. You sound too coked up to be driving right now."
Rafe stares at his phone as Topper cuts the call, promising to help him find you. He looks around, eyes widened and body shaking.
"She wouldn't leave me." He sinks down to the floor, whispering to himself, head in his hands and tears in his eyes. His throat closed up, long hands pulling on his blonde hair. He calls you again and again, received by the the same automated message.
"She wouldn't leave me. She promised me she wouldn't leave me...she-"
He scrambles to pick up his ringing phone, cursing when he realises it's Topper and not you.
"She's with Sarah." Topper says when Rafe picks up.
His words ring in Rafe's mind. She's with Sarah. That means she's with those dirty fucking pogues.
He cuts the call without saying a word, tears long gone as he tucks his gun inside his jeans, keys in his hand. He knew where you were, didn't have to think twice before driving to the Chateau.
He ignored Topper's calls, putting his phone on silent while he drove.
You knew how much Rafe hated those pogues. You knew how much he hated Sarah. But you still hung out with them behind his back huh? He was about to catch you fucking red handed today.
He parked his car a little away from the chateau, getting out of the car quickly.
A yard party at the chateau.
Oh you were in a hell lotta fucking trouble this time.
He observes you from far away, arms crossed and eyes red. He was going fucking crazy inside...but he had to catch you at the right moment. Make you feel guilty and vulnerable.
A particular song that you love comes up and he snaps his head to JJ, who walks towards you. You laugh and you dance with him, tits pressed against his chest and arms around his neck.
In your mind you were just dancing with tour best friend.
In Rafe's mind, you had betrayed him and humiliated him in front of the world. His blood boiled as he marched towards you.
Sarah notices him first and tries to pull him back. He pushes her away and reaches you. JJ's eyes widened, your back to Rafe.
That's it asshole. Be scared of me.
Rafe pushes you aside and before you can even register your boyfriend is here, he punches JJ in the face, and hard. He tries to punch Rafe back but Rafe pushes him back, repeatedly punching him till the point you're screaming for him to let go.
"RAFE STOP IT! LEAVE HIM ALONE!"
You yank at his arm and he finally stops, wiping the sweat from his face, kicking JJ's crumpled form one last time. He takes out his gun, pointing it at JJ's head. You widen your eyes and cover the muzzle with your hand.
"Rafe please please please don't do this please..." You whisper, body visibly shaking.
His eyes lay on you next and you cower under his gaze when you see the rage boiling in his stare. He scans you up and down, hands turning into fists when he properly looks at the tight pink dress you're wearing that barely covers your ass. He ignores the rest of the crowd, tugging the gun back into his waistband.
He wraps his hand around your wrist, practically dragging you back to his car, deaf to your protests.
"LET ME GO! HAVE YOU GONE FUCKING CRAZY?"
He opens the door to the passenger seat, shoving you inside and shutting the door, activating child lock so you can't get out.
You try to open the door frantically as Rafe climbs into his own seat. You give up, turning to your fuming boyfriend.
"Rafe..." You whisper, fear in your voice.
He pulls out to the main road, driving way over the speed limit.
"Rafe" You say, louder this time. He speeds up even more, taking harsher turns, jaw set and knuckles white over the steering wheel.
"Rafe!" You scream. "Rafe please slow dow-"
He abruptly turns to the side of the road, pulling the brakes as he undoes his seat belt, wrapping his hand around your throat.
"Rafe, Rafe, Rafe!" He mocks you, tightening his hand around your neck, cutting off your air supply. You struggled to breathe, hands wrapping around his.
"Spit it out bitch. What do you want huh?"
He grinded his teeth together.
"Want to cheat on me with JJ again? Wanna go back to him and let him fuck you?"
"I w-wasnt..." You try to say, tears in your eyes. Rafe swings the back of his hand at your cheek, your head thrown to one side as he let's go of your neck.
You look up to see his face, horrified look on your face. You search his face for any sign of regret but you only see anger.
"That hurt huh? Did that fucking hurt you- you slut!?"
He pulls your hair back when you don't answer him. You gasp, the pain in your scalp bringing tears to your eyes.
"Rafe I'm sorry please I-"
"Sorry huh? Sorry you turned off your location? Sorry for ignoring my calls? Sorry for cheating on me with that dirty fucking pogue or Sorry for hanging out with my bitch of a sister!?"
He yanked on your hair again and this time the tears that flowed down your cheeks weren't of pain but of fear.
"I wasn't cheating on you baby I just wanted to be with my friends and I know you don't like them-"
"Oh so you knew I didn't like them? Glad to know something registers in that airhead of yours."
He let's go off your hair, tears in his eyes now.
"Fuck y/n you told me you love me! You told me you-"
His voice broke, hands on his head. Your eyes softened but you were clearly still scared. From the look of his eyes and the way he was behaving? You knew he was on drugs.
"I do love you I love you Rafe-"
"THEN WHY WERE YOU WITH THEM!?! WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE FUCKING HOUSE WITHOUT EVEN- WITHOUT FUCKING TELLING ME!?"
You flinch at his loud voice. His breaths slow down and he wipes off his tears, starting the car again. You stay silent the whole ride, scared of what he would do if you said anything, scared for your safety.
Rafe was a hothead. But he was calculating. And what he had in store for you, even God couldn't stop him.
He got out of the car the moment you both reached, grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you out of the passenger seat. He threw you over his shoulder, storming to your bedroom. You pleaded with him to stop and talk to you but he kept walking, throwing you on the bed.
He grabbed your chin hard, squeezing it between his thumb and his fore finger until you were crying with pain and grabbing onto his shoulders, begging for him to let you go.
"Open." Rafe spits out coldly.
This wasn't your Rafe.
He wouldn't hurt you like this.
You open your mouth anyway, eyes trained on his blue ones. He takes out a baggie from the back pocket of his jeans, taking some powder in his fingers.
"No no no no no...Rafe please please I'm sorry baby please don't-"
He forced your mouth open, coating your gums with coke. He looks into your eyes, smirking as it takes effect almost immediately, body pliant under him.
"You'll never have to leave this house again yeah? Daddy's got everything you need."
He whispers, spreading just a bit more powder on your tongue. You nod, mixture of euphoria from the coke and fear churning in the pit of your stomach, spit falling from the sides of your mouth.
Rafe gets up to lock the door, returning with rope in one hand and gun in another as he feasted his eyes on your perfect body in that slutty dress.
He was never going to let you go.
29 notes · View notes
Substitute Teacher Steve Au
Delilah felt nervous. She ran into her little brother Paul in the hall because neither of them were looking in the correct direction...too nervous.
She hurried into her English class and grabbed her seat. The class's energy was off the charts. Everyone was chatting and gossiping.
"-sub! Can you believe THE St-"
"I just don't understand? Arent they fam-"
Uh oh. She thinks she understands now and pulls out her flip phone to type out a quick text to Paul to warn him. It's too late. He already texted her first.
"Code purple"
"Fuck."
"Language B!"
"Shit."
He laughs as he walks into the classroom. Someone slaps her shoulder as if they're trying to tell her "Hey! He looked in your direction!!!!"
Sitting on her teacher's desk is retired pop icon Steve Harrington. He lights up when he sees her looking at him and waves to her. He's waving so fast his hand is a blur.
"Del what the hell is happening?" Mandy, her best friend is looking at her expectantly.
"I-"
"Ok class! Attendance time!!"
'Adams'
'Andrews'
'Chase'
'Finch'
"Henderson!"
"..."
"C'mom B," he looks at her disappointed.
"Here," she grumbles.
A girl in the back raises her hand.
"Can this wait until after the attendance is taken?"
"Unfortunately not Mr. Harrington I just have to know, how do you know Delilah? Why do you call her B? I mean out of everyone we were not expecting you to be here for her." She says the last part kind of like a sneer.
Delilah knew she wasn't the most popular but she made a choice to stay out of the spotlight.
"Well...student-"
"Sam."
"Sam, I'm not here for Delilah."
Gasps went around the room.
"I'm also here for Paul!" His famous bright smile is shining bright. "He's getting his braces off today! Isn't that exciting! Gosh I remember when his dad got his off. Brings a tear to my eye."
Delilah sinks lower into her seat.
"As for the nickname-"
She shoots up, ramrod straight.
"Um Uncle Steve you don't really have to-"
"Now B it's nothing to be embarrassed about. When Del's mom was pregnant with Paul we told her that she wouldn't be the baby anymore. She was so frustrated that was the only name she responded to for six months!"
Sam pipes up again, "so B is short for-"
"Baby." Snickers went around the room. Delilah groans. "Obviously we couldn't go around calling her baby that's weird. So we shortened it, nickname. It also helps because she's baby Henderson, helps to distinguish the difference between them all."
Steve gives her a soft smile, like he's still imagining her as a toddler.
"As most of you may know I retired about five years ago along with my boyfriend." (Gay marriage was not legal yet but she's working on it.)
Josh's hand shoots up. "Your boyfriend famous metal musician Eddie Munson?"
"Yes student in the back, we decided it was time to retire and enjoy our time together. Then I got bored. I was always planning on being a teacher if music didn't work out so I became a sub. We have a house here to see the kids and I knew I wanted my first assignment to be one where I could see my favorite Hendersons."
Ok she can't be mad at him. She loves him so much and he obviously is just doing what he can to be closer to her.
"Uncle Steve-"
Uncle is whispered around the room.
"I appreciate you coming here but-"
"Henderson I'd appreciate it if you stayed after school to help me grade papers. I can give you a ride home. Uncle Eds is taking Paul to the orthodontist now so you don't have to worry about driving him."
Conveniently, beeping was heard outside along with the sound of a motor like an engine revving. The students all ran to the window to see what was going on and were shown Paul with his head down running to the convertible.
Poor kid. Everyone would be talking about this for at least a week.
Paul looked over at the window along with Eddie, when he saw Steve he blew him a kiss. As soon as Paul was buckled up he sped off.
Steve sighed wistfully and then headed back to the desk.
"Alright everyone! Let's learn!"
26 notes · View notes
lawtiee · 3 days
Note
YJs with blind reader. I can feel like r! Would’ve become blind during the crash some how and since they are blind they can’t really go outside or do much without the others constantly worrying and coddling them
-🪼
oh gosh yeah! misty and the lil nurse she is would constantly be checking on you, asking how your vision was today when you’d given her like the same answer nearly everyday. she’d kinda wave her hand infront of your face and tell you to let her know if you could see anything really. most things had either been blotchy or super blurry, but she notes it anyways.
though nat hides behind that ‘doesn’t give a shit’ personality, i think she’d be by your side the most when she didn’t have chores or whatever. she’d go on and on about her hunting skills and whatever else she had going on with travis. she’d probably gossip with you about some stupid shit one of the girls did or tell you stories about things that happened before the crash. like how some ‘fucking nerd asked her to prom and almost pissed his pants when she even looked to hard in his direction before giving a response’.
lottie and the rest of the girls in her lil group circle thingy she does definitely keeps you in their thoughts somehow. whether it be asking the wilderness to keep you in good health or hoping that they’d be rescued soon so you can get the help you needed, she’s going the whooooole nine yards.
when summer rolls back around, i think shauna would lead you around the forest and describe the scenery, and i know shauna is so effing vivid with her imagination like she will go the entire poet route. maybe she’d even write about your outings with her in her journal. :3
when it came down to anything else, mari would still be cooking and if you needed it, she’d be willing to help you get familiarized with the utensils again. she wants to help you but she’s kinda agressive with it? she’s all like “dude it’s no problem if you need help like, ill totally help you. its no problem, nothing to get all shaken up over. ill help you with whatever other shit you need help with. seriously!” you just assume this is her way of being affectionate or if she was in that kinda awkward teenage girl stage.
jackie gives you pep talks like how she used to before every game. mostly, it occurs when you’re feeling bad because you’re not helping enough. her first instinct, obviously, was to drive those thoughts away from your mind. it was like her sworn duty as the leader of the team. and god she gives a damn good pep talk! she could be some kinda motivational speaker if it weren’t for everyone’s circumstance.
crystal will sing to you constantly. and i mean constantly. she’d go through these long ass songs from her favorite musicals, and at this point you lost track of what it even had been at this point? chicago or something? you had no clue. but you’d listen contentedly as if you knew a lick about musicals.
26 notes · View notes
beingatoaster · 8 months
Text
Felicity at the start of this session: I have to keep taking care of all these small people while we fix things at this lake
Felicity at the end of this session: I. for my mental health and also because I'm extremely pissed at some of them. may have to tell all these small people to fuck off and leave me alone once we're done with this lake
4 notes · View notes
emblazons · 3 months
Text
….wdym my boss wants me to supervise his wife
6 notes · View notes
hella1975 · 1 year
Text
just full force threw a shoe at my sister's face and when my mum got me alone after she was like 'you shouldn't clobber her. but i get it' 😭
#it kicked off today but in my defence she's actually proper in the wrong this time even my DAD called her a bitch and my mum is FUMING#baso my sister came into my work with her mate when i was closing the other day and all the staff GLARED at them bc of aforementioned#close so i was being v chill so everyone 1) knew it was my sister and not some customer coming in late and 2) her friend wouldnt be uncomfy#like that's the real kicker her i was being extra laid back FOR her friend so he'd feel more at ease. and one thing about me is yes ive#said countless times i have a rural accent but my mum also raised me to know when and how to speak nice if need be bc people are cunts here#so when im waitressing i speak nicely bc it's a stuck up restaurant w stuck up customers but when im with my sister? making a point of#being laid back? my normal accent came through. and her mate when i was gone said i sounded 'really [from the county we live in]'#which WOULD NOT BE A COMPLIMENT. it's baso saying 'your sister sounds local and chavy' without using such explosive words#and my sister LET HIM SAY IT. SHE DIDNT DEFEND ME. and she told my mum about it later bc SHE THOUGHT SHE'D TELL ME OFF#LIKE SHE DID IT TO SNITCH. THERE WAS NO SCENARIO WHERE MY SISTER WASNT BEING A CUNT. and my mum hit the ROOF#one thing she's rlly been big on is loyalty bc it's always been the 3 of us so when she found out my sister let him say that she FLIPPED#and this all happened last night and i only found out this morning bc i overheard them screaming at each other and turns out my mum#tried to keep it from me bc she didnt want my feelings hurt and IM pissed bc it actually did hurt more than i thought it would#like i KNOW what people say about my accent but it's a guy i know? my sister's been friends w him for years? i was being nice?#it's EMBARRASSING like i was clueless & friendly and turned around for him to be like 'look at this stupid local girl' like??#and my sister did NOTHING? it just sucks so i STORMED upstairs when i found out and had it out with my sister#and she knew she was fucked so she did all 'im not talking to you i have nothing to say' AND PUT HER EARPHONES IN?#the way i RIPPED them out. got in her face like okay girl u think i sound like a chav ill act like a chav lets GO#and it just got really aggressive and i wound up grabbing HER OWN SANDAL and full force hurling it at her face 😭 oops#from close range too like i was already in her face so i basically just smacked her with a sandal DSHGJKSH#now we're sat in silence bc alas we still share a room. WHAT the fuck. insane tbh but it's a bit funny. im so angry rn i could KILL#hella goes home
29 notes · View notes
seilon · 1 month
Text
shouldn’t have checked my bank account as expected my mother has taken thousands more dollars from my savings and has almost run me dry more or less. Cool!
#I’m going to fucking call the bank and ask about a second checking account because she’s never going to make her own fucking account#it’s been like a year since she said she would and it’s just not gonna happen#she owes me thousands of dollars via me paying her fucking overdraft fees and she always says ‘what you think I won’t pay you back?’ no!!!!!#no I don’t!!!!!!! because you literally never have!!!!!!!!!!!#and where the fuck are you going to get like 8000 dollars anyway. because that’s what she owes me at the very least#even if you want to factor in like. paying her monthly for the groceries she buys and cat food and whatever that’s still. thousands of#dollars. and the worst part about it is I just have no safety net anymore#because my savings is basically nothing at this point. like nothing that can help in a dire situation anymore.#I keep thinking about whatever im going to have to end up paying for top surgery and I WOULD have a significant amount saved up to#contribute to that but haha! no I don’t! it’s fucking gone!#and I’ve been getting paid basically fucking nothing lately because of how few hours they’re scheduling me so that does not fucking help#my last paycheck was literally like half of what I should be getting. I made like 1K in the past two paychecks. that’s fucking depressing#anyway I’ve given myself a headache#I’ve been avoiding looking at my bank account because I knew it would be bad and it’d stress me the fuck out but I also have been anxious#not knowing and my mother making a few vague comments that implied she must have fucked me over. so I checked today and yeah she sure did#if I don’t make a new checking account that she can’t access i am actually going to be broke within the nenxt few months at this rate#my head hurts and I am so upset I am so upset I work so fucking hard and it doesn’t even matter i just lose money constantly#I get nothing I just pay her fucking fees and pay for my tuition and pay for everything else of any significance#and I am not exaggerating I work my ass off. I am the only person I know at my job who begs to work holidays and extra days and stay as late#as possible and it . doesn’t even matter#im going to kill myself I swear to god. there’s shit I need to buy. what am I supposed to do.#kibumblabs#vent#like shit I need to buy for WORK. my manager is getting on me about not having proper shoes for example and yeah I can get a discount#through shoes for crews but I still dont have the fucking money for anything anymore#not unless I want to run myself into the fucking ground#I need a new binder badly. I need new black pants also for work since mine are so faded at this point.#I only have one fitted sheet that doesn’t have giant holes in it#I can’t stop thinking about my last paycheck it was literally the worst I’ve seen since starting this job a year ago. fucking infuriating
4 notes · View notes
nomairuins · 1 month
Text
i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
3 notes · View notes
beautifel · 1 year
Text
i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am
#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately#like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad#i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic#and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me#the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic#let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything#like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing#i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard#the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know#with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things#n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case#it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has.#the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others#this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate#its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences#its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control#ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship#we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people#so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there#ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere
7 notes · View notes
Text
If one more person calls me Joanna I am going to scream
5 notes · View notes
dont-offend-the-bees · 7 months
Text
We need better fucking care infrastructure. I should not be trusted with anyone's care ever 💛
#thing is caring for myself? I'm not GREAT at it but i can scrape by#i know my limits i know how much or little i need to survive i know that i can usually more or less bounce back after a tough time#i think if my life fell out from under me i could probably scrape it back even if i wound up doing a lot of couch surfing in the meantime#i genuinely don't know how I'll survive if i have to be fucking sole carer for someone#dad's on his way back now and he's been prescribed antibiotics and hopefully that's that#but at least a couple of times a year there's some shit like this#an awful cough or an infection or a fucking insane choice to like do some diy on the outside of the house standing on the windowsill#he fucking nearly chokes on his food once or twice a week#maybe he's just one of those cockroach type motherfuckers who'll never die no matter how the universe steps on him#but I'm fucking PISSED that he's taking that for granted and won't even sit and fucking talk to me about what happens when his luck runs out#I've been looking after mum alone for what four hours today and I'm already so tired and frustrated i wanna die#i am. a deeply impatient and unsociable creature.#i can be infinitely patient with friends! those are my fave people i chose to have them in my life I'd wait like a fucking mountain for them#mum and i were.... already sort of At Odds before all this started.#i'm the kid she never 100% really wanted and who never really 100% wanted to be here#and now we're stuck together and one day possibly sooner than any of us want it will be. just the two of us.#and i just. i don't know what that looks like. i really don't.#anyway. mental breakdown over hopefullly.#with a bit of luck dad and i actually fucking TALK before the next one#idk man. i never really knew what i wanted to do with my life but i thought I'd have time to figure it out#but maybe I'm just. the unqualified burnout with covid memory damage and a whole ass other human to care for#the exact thing i set out to avoid when i decided never to have kids#anyway. enough oversharing.#thank you anyone who's read my spiralling tag rambles in solidarity i love you#mr. bees speaks
5 notes · View notes
coquelicoq · 2 years
Text
yessssss we have arrived at the night before the count's duel with albert! mercédès is here! she's calling him edmond! she's begging him to spare her son's life!! she's saying shit like "avenge yourself, edmond! but avenge yourself on the guilty; avenge yourself on fernand, avenge yourself on me, but don't avenge yourself on my son!" and he's roaring in despair and seizing handfuls of his hair and AGREEING TO IT even though it means HE will have to die instead (because albert threw a glove in his face in full view of everyone at the opera a couple hours ago and men are such babies about that) and he will be dying without having achieved his vengeance, which in his mind is akin to god making all of creation and then on the seventh day "extinguishing the sun and pushing the world back into eternal night" (this is literally how he talks btw) and she's thanking him and telling him she still loves him and two little tears are coming to his eyes (but they disappear because, and i quote, "no doubt god had sent an angel to collect them") and then she's leaving and he's sitting there head in hands ("as if his brow alone could no longer support the weight of his thoughts") saying to himself "i was mad not to tear out my heart the day i swore revenge"! YES! YES! YESSSSSSSSS!!!!
30 notes · View notes