#i know feeling like your life suddenly will be empty looks scary

[izacore]

.

[chastiefoul]

—finally giving up on your unrequited love ft. alhaitham

a/n: ouch i hurt myself writing this. wc: 1.6k words of yapping about unrequited feelings

once upon a time you were grateful for alhaitham’s indifference, the lack of anything he was being when you’re badgering him with chatters, a detailed description of your day, concerns over him, and the occasional gifts.

it seemed like a blessing once, like acceptance. the slightest open of the door, thinking you could invite yourself in and he’d embrace that fact. but as his apathy remain constant and unchanging, you’ve come to realization—an embarassing one at that.

that indifference, that should’ve been a sign for you; alhaitham will never return your feelings.

-

 a stroll a day, keeps the stressful thoughts away.

however today’s walk is just not doing it for you, once you decided to wake up from the dreamland you thought you’ve been living in. a faraway and unrealistic vision of a life where you end up together with the akademiya scribe. an exaggerated sigh escaped you at your own daydreaming. usually by now you’d be quick on your feet to visit the scribe, however the overdue revelation you had last night made you finally think twice before doing it. and only because of that now you’d realized just how much of your life was centered on the grey-haired man, which was a scary discovery, knowing just exactly how little you mattered to his.

you found an empty bench mid-walk, immediately sitting on it. you leaned back, both of your hands holding your weight as you look above. the sky was clear that day, but your mind was clearer, as if a thick fog has finally been lifted.

seriously, what have you been doing all this time? giving your all to someone who wanted none of you. alhaitham’s curt nod, his brief and short responses really should’ve been a clue as to how he felt about you. yet you kept being stubborn, and sometimes hope was human’s greatest enemy. what should have been a bare minimum gesture he did, your mind managed to twist it into something more; clinging to it like a water on a desert. when it turned out that was exactly all there was to it—a mirage.

you chuckled sadly. even remembering those pathetic displays, you couldn’t bring yourself to fully regret having this feeling towards alhaitham. those moments where you’d steal a glance at him and felt like the world was okay. you would not allow yourself to forget that as you became more selfish, wanting him to look at you and feel the same. but here you were, reluctantly learning to accept the fact that he may never does.

suddenly a shadow loomed over you, shielding you from the sunlight you didn’t realize was so bright.

a familiar blond invaded your vision. “(y/n)?” he called out unsure, not expecting you to be there. “oh hi there, kaveh,” you lightly said, as if your heavy train of thoughts hadn’t existed at all. you adjusted your sitting position, shifting yourself to the side as you spare an empty spot beside you for him to sit. kaveh swiftly took your silent offer up, making himself as comfortable as he could on the wooden bench. “i spotted you from afar and you seemed a little troubled, hopefully i was wrong?” the ever so kind kaveh spoke up, and you couldn’t help but smile. kaveh always felt like a friend more than alhaitham ever was, albeit knowing him after you got to know the scribe. you weren’t even sure if the grey-haired man would ever mention even a word about his roommate if it wasn’t for you hanging wround on his office on a peaceful lunch break when the fuming blond barged in and yell at him about a key.

as it turned out, it’s a known fact that most people became quiet irritable when it comes to being in contact with the curt and aloof scribe, since kaveh has been nothing but a good friend since the day he gave you a weird look about wanting to get close to the acting grand master.

“it’s kind of complicated to say,” you started, thinking of the words as you went on. “let’s just say i’m having a quite bittersweet moment.”

you rested your gaze on the bustling street in front of you. he nodded in reply, “i’m guessing it’s more bitter than it is sweet?” he asked genuinely as you smiled once more despite not feeling a drop of mirth. “i suppose so,” you replied curtly, not knowing what to say to his keen observation. keen and exactly correct.

it’s the kind of bitterness that lingered. a kind of flavor you’d expected, since you’re the one who put it in. still, when that sharp taste hit your tongue you couldn’t help but flinch. after all, things don’t stop affecting you even though you saw it coming from miles away. you just hoped the sweetness will get stronger overtime, overpowering as it wash down the unpleasant aftertaste.

kaveh mirrored your smile in return except his looked particularly patronizing, as if he could sense your helplessness.

“will you tell me what happened?” his voice sounded gentle, a care you’ve never heard from the man you’d give a limb to for him to say things along that line. how do you even begin to answer such a simple question? nothing happened, and that’s why it was the problem. the fact that you’re the only one who’s mulling all over this, being so conflicted to what he thought must be nothing. a pain so overwhelming that’s swirling all over your chest while his biggest inconvenient that day was probably a typo made in a document made by a lousy student.

the whole thing just sounded so... pathetic.

“nothing happened... it’s just, i have decided to finally give up on something,” you try your best to sound nonchalant despite having no bravery to look at him, scared that he didn’t look like he believed you.

“well, i might know a thing or two about it. sometimes when an architecture project is too... unreasonable,” kaveh paused, the word tasted like a sour lime on his mouth. “there’s no way but to give it up. especially if you take a step back as take the whole picture from many aspects; in my case, there are budget, location, materials, and so on. there would definitely be some regret about letting go especially an ambitious task, however i think many of my past-self would really like to give the present-me a big gratitude for not forcing it through,” he rambled on, despite having no idea what were you referring on. “even sometimes, the reward was just not worth the risk, you know?” he ended it at that, throwing the question at you.

you swallowed on nothing, but you needed that to let out a reply.

“yes, i do know.”

“yeah? does this mean in your case, whatever you were fighting for was not worth it in the end?”

oh, that’s the worst part. you knew, you knew it with your heart, body and soul that it would be so worth it if there’s an outcome, a scenario where alhaitham might return your feelings. oh it would be so worth it. you could smile, just imagining how worth it would it be.

but that was all it was. an unattainable imagination. an ending that you couldn’t allow yourself to be so cocky to reach.

kaveh waited for your respond patiently, but when the silence had gone for too long he moved his stare to you. he widened his eyes, his gaze softened.

“i don’t think you’re as okay as you made yourself to be,” he said softly, as you felt your cheeks wet by the uninvited tears, running along freely across your face. yet, you couldn’t make an effort to stop them, your heart knew more than anyone you needed that. to feel the sadness, to recognize it.

to let go of the fact that alhaitham will never return your feelings.

kaveh was just quiet as you sobbed quietly, putting a handkerchief silently at the space between you both. there is no empty consolation, no comforting words, no small pats on the back. there’s just silence, a little safe bubble for you to cry in without people coming over to you and asked why.

giving up is such a funny thing, how could doing it hurt more than to keep trying even though you received no sign of reciprocity at all? but you knew the answer of that.

when there hasn’t been a rejection, it’s in everyone’s nature to have hope. a hope that there’s a chance of obtaining something you’ve wished for. a chance that something could happen.

giving up means finality. a state of accepting an outcome you hadn’t wanted. a result you never asked for. an ending where all that’s left was what should have and what could have. a harsh reality people could only accept as it dangled the possibilities and visions of what ‘could have happened’ if you’d just kept trying right in front of your eyes.

like chasing your own shadow; a fun thing to do when you’re a child, but now it’s just a fitting metaphor, reminding you of a fool’s way who love in such a pathetic way.

-

once upon a time you were grateful for alhaitham’s indifference, the lack of anything he was being when you’re badgering him with chatters, a detailed description of your day, concerns over him, and the occasional gifts.

but now it’s definitely a curse. after all, anything that has to do with love was not indifference.

it was never, indifference.

---

the urge to write this in alhaitham pov........................ should i?

[woso-dreamzzz]

Broken II

Wonze x Child!Reader

Summary: You and your naps

Sometimes, you get sleepy.

Most of the time that means you fall straight to sleep no matter where you are and no matter what you're doing. Sometimes, you have enough time to find somewhere to sleep but not always.

Your auntie Leah (Bug's mummy) says that you're a very sleepy little girl and Tia Mapi (Bebita's mummy) says you're going to spend your whole life napping.

You're almost always tired, always slipping off to sleep even when it's loud and noisy.

Mum says that you have weak muscles too because sometimes you just crumble to the ground. It's rare but it does happen.

Sometimes that's scary but there's a few moments where you know it's coming so it isn't very shocking.

They are random though. You can never tell when your muscles will go funny.

The naps are more regular though, everyday.

Sometimes, you just get so sleepy that you fall asleep on Mum or Mummy or sometimes Bebita when you're playing together.

But not right now.

You can feel yourself getting sleepier and sleepier and you don't think you want to take your nap on the cold grass where bugs could crawl into your mouth.

You know you don't have much time until you fall asleep properly so you grab your Koda and your blankie and wander through the halls to find somewhere to nap.

You don't always get a lot of choice in your napping spot but you know you like small, dark spaces as you make your way to the recovery room. It's empty right now because the team is on the pitch and you crawl under one of the tables.

It's nice and dark in the room because the light is off and it's cramped because you've forced yourself under one of the recovery beds.

You yawn, eyes slipping shut on their own accord and you curl up under your blankie and pull your Koda close.

You didn't think to tell anyone where you were going, more focused on finding somewhere to nap peacefully. One minute you were outside and the next you were just gone.

Keira's the first to notice, looking up from dribbling practice to check you're okay.

You're not where she left you though.

Wildly, she glances to the other side of the pitch where Bebita is amusing herself kicking the wall. You're not there either.

Your Koda and blankie are gone too so Keira knows that you've wandered off again. She'd half expected to find you napping on the grass like usual.

You'd always been a very sleepy little girl, all the way back to when you came home and Keira nearly had a panic attack when your eyes just suddenly slid shut only to be told that you were having an impromptu nap.

The house is full of soft little corners for your random naps but you've been known to fall asleep at the dinner table or in the bath so Keira's never quite sure where she'll find you.

But what she does know is you've wandered off and she'd really prefer you to nap in eye sight when at training.

"Lucy!" She calls out," Did you see where Bear went? I think she's gone off to nap again."

Lucy looks up from her own training and shakes her head. "She's gone off again? I think we just need to start bringing a mattress to training." She laughs a little but stops when she notices Keira's face. "I'll go check inside. Why don't you see if she's hidden herself away in a shady spot?"

Lucy doesn't wait for Keira to respond, already heading off inside. She pokes her head into every room she finds until she flicks on the lights to the recovery room.

At first, there's nothing out of the norm but Lucy can spy a scrap of your blanket poking out from under the bed.

She smiles.

You're dead to the world as you nap even as Lucy drags you out from your little nap spot, bundling you up in her arms.

Koda's in an iron grip in your hand and she adjusts your blanket around your body so you can still be comfortable.

"I've got her!" Lucy calls out as soon as she walks back onto the pitch. "She just had a little nap indoors."

Keira comes running over, hands fluttering over your face like she always does when you've run off to nap.

"She's fine," Lucy assures her," Just very sleepy."

As if on cue, your eyes flutter open.

"Hi, Mummy," You whisper when you spot Keira, head bumping against Lucy's collarbone.

"Hi, Bear," Keira coos at you," Did you enjoy your nap?"

You nod. "Still sleepy."

Lucy frowns at that. it's not the first time that she's noticed your sleepiness. You seem entirely too sleepy to function sometimes. You'll even fall asleep in the middle of playing. Eyes closed and out for nearly half an hour if you've had a good sleep the night before.

It's a little bit wild and Lucy's definitely a little bit worried but she's waiting to see if it gets worse. If it does then she'll take you to the doctor but she doesn't want to waste anyone's time if it's just nothing.

"Well, why don't you go back to sleep?" Keira says to you," We've got a nice nap spot with Bebita all set up for you."

You nod. You like that idea.

Bebita is warm like Bug and you can always nap when someone warm is sitting next to you.

You're always up for another nap.

[sunarc]

After Hours

𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖊 1

toji x reader

Synopsis: What happens when you meet someone willing to make all you naughty dreams come true?

CW: virginity loss, corruption kink, size kink, alcohol consumption, shy reader, toji is a player, cum eating, Shiu is being a daddy in this per usual, modern au, afab reader, bar owner toji, 5.1k words, please let me know if i missed anything

A/N:I’m so happy to present day 1 of Kinktober!!! I’m so excited for y’all to read please enjoy!

You sipped your drink to the sound of rock music playing loudly from the speakers. You watched as hot sweaty bodies crowded around a pool table swinging money in the air while yelling out bets. The bar was lively, it was loud and there you sat, quietly at the end of the bar, watching everyone, enjoying the show. The bar had people from all walks of life come through. Some would come through and tell you stories you could never imagine, some telling you of where they were headed and some just a little sleezy looking for a quick fuck. You were never the type for hookups. You honestly couldn’t imagine being with a random stranger for one fun night. You enjoyed being in this space. It was fun to see so many different people and get to experience another’s life just for a few minutes.

“I can’t possibly imagine doing something so scary like that” you said, shocked listening to the story being told by the big figure sitting in front of you smoking a cigarette.

“You wouldn’t believe all of the crazy things I’ve done sweetheart” he pulled a long drag from his cigarette then turned to you.

“You got any stories?” he asked

“Who? Me? I- uh no I don’t really do much” you fumbled over your words suddenly becoming nervous by the question.

It was true, you didn’t really do much. You were honestly as innocent as they come. You didn’t drink, not because you thought it was bad but more so because the taste of alcohol was quite repulsive. You had never had a boyfriend before, hell you had never engaged in sex before. You just never found someone worth giving yourself away to. The idea was honestly scary. Having to get naked and show your body to another person was honestly scary yet something about it felt so intriguing. Something about sleeping with someone and having them take you in ways you wouldn’t dare speak about out loud was almost thrilling. You shook the thought away.

“I really mostly like to just hear about other people’s stories, I find them fascinating really.” You said, giving a shy smile.

He nodded his head silently taking in your words.

“Hm, I guess I could understand” he took a drag finishing his cigarette. “But what about living?”

You gave a confused look.

Living?

“What do you mean, I am living?” the question almost sounded silly

“No, you're listening to other people live. You’re basically living vicariously through other people.” He scoffed. “Why not enjoy the thrills of life yourself instead of hearing it from other people?”

The question left you speechless. You sat staring at the man's mouth slightly open unsure of what to say.

Why weren’t you living?

You went to work and came to this hole in the wall bar every night just to listen to stories and drink juice. When were you going to be the one telling the stories?

“You bothering my customers Shiu?” a loud voice interrupted your thoughts.

Toji, the bar owner, walked over to the two of you cleaning a glass with a smirk.

“Bothering? I could never. I think that might be your job.” he chuckled.

“How you doing pretty? Need another drink?” Toji asked, looking down at your almost empty glass.

“Hi Toji, I’m well today. I’d love another juice thankyou” you said smiling softly.

Ever since you first walked into the bar Toji had been as kind as ever. His smile was always inviting. He was tall, buff and handsome. He always left you feeling starstruck as he moved behind the counter muscles flexing in his tight shirt smiling handsomely at customers as they handed him large tips. He always gave you free drinks mostly because you only ordered juice. He was even nice enough to let you stay after closing and keep him company while he cleaned and told you stories of before he owned the bar.

“Your friend wasn’t bothering me” you said as he handed you a full glass. “I was probably bothering him,” you laughed.

Toji smiled and leaned forward on his elbows.

“I’m sure a pretty girl like you could never bother anyone.”

You looked down smiling at the remark. Toji was a big flirt with everyone. If a pretty girl walked in and looked like she had big pockets he would somehow always flirt his way into an unusually large tip.

“I was just offering a little advice,” Shiu said as he pulled out another cigarette, putting it between his lips.

“Last time you gave someone advice they died” Toji commented as he fixed a drink for a regular.

“They took it a little too literally, that isn’t my fault” he lit the cigarette pulling a long drag.

The two bantered back and forth arguing over his advice.

“He actually told me something really helpful” You interrupted.

“Oh yeah and what was it exactly?” Toji leaned over the counter dangerously close to you. He bit his lip as he stared at you waiting for you to answer. You shied away suddenly feeling nervous under his gaze.

“I- well it was just about me living life that’s all” you stumbled over your words.

Toji smirked at you

“Now why would he say such a thing doll?” he seemed intrigued as he sat up and poured a shot for himself and Shui.

“I guess , well , I’m just not living out my fantasies…” your voice died out towards the end of your sentence.

“Not living out your fantasies?” Toji rested his head in his hand with a smirk playing on his face.

“Tell me more about that” his voice was low as he asked for more. You sat in front of him watching his movements almost hypnotized by the way he spoke so smoothly. Toji was an intimidating guy. No matter how many nights you spent sitting chatting with him about any and everything you never failed to grow nervous under his dark gaze.

“I uh I shouldn’t talk too much about it” you let out a nervous chuckle.

Toji sat up letting out a small sigh.

“All right then, keep your secrets,” he laughed.

You gave a shy smile before sipping your drink. It would have been hard to admit in front of two obviously attractive men that you fantasized about losing your virginity. The topic seemed so taboo. You could imagine them pushing for more details. Why hadn’t you lost your virginity? What are you waiting for? Are you some kind of saint, too good for sex?None of the above. The right person just hasn’t come along yet, someone to send chills through your body just from their voice. You wanted someone who would make you feel something, someone worth it. You sat in silence stuck on the previous conversation. You hadn’t noticed the bar slowly emptying out. Drunk bodies stumbled out slurring words as they called their rides.

“You sticking with me, pretty girl?” Toji’s voice interrupted your thoughts.

You nodded your head with a small smile, it wouldn’t hurt having another late night conversation with Toji while he closed.You looked around noticing Shui pulling out his last cigarette before throwing back the rest of his drink.

“I’m leaving you, two have a good night” he turned to you “I meant what I said live a little, kid”

“Hey what about me Shiu got any advice for me ?” he teased

Shiu walked to the door before turning around

“Hm, actually yes, go to hell” he smirked and left without another word.

Toji scuffed as he wiped down the counter.

“Asshole,” he mumbled.

You laughed at the encounter and looked around at the now empty bar. It was nice to look at apart from the scattered beer and glasses. The bar had nice decor, it was one of the main factors that attracted you to the place.

“So any new stories for me?” you asked, watching as Toji came from behind the counter with a broom sweeping the place.

“You like my stories that much?” he asked, half his attention on you, half on cleaning.

“You spun around on the bar stool laughing to yourself at the childish action.

“I think you have fun things to say” you thinking to yourself for a moment “And well I guess I really like your voice” you mumbled the last part.

Toji chuckled, stopping his actions. He looked at you with a smirk.

“You like my voice huh?”

You looked away suddenly embarrassed by your confession.

“I mean well you- it” you stammered

“It’s okay doll” Toji walked closer to you lowering his voice in the process.

“I could talk all you want” he said “ But I’d more so like to hear something about you” he said as he came close standing between your legs as you sat facing him on the stool.

“Something about me?” you asked slightly confused.

“Yeah, I mean you sit with me while I clean all the time and you listen to me go on and on about stories for days yet, you never talk to me about yourself.” he said leaning closer to you.

Your breath hitched feeling the heat from his body as he closed the space between you two.

“For example I’d love to continue that conversation from earlier, you know the one about those fantasies of yours.”

He leaned down eye level to you just a breath away. His lips were only inches away from yours. You wanted to lean in just to see how soft his lips would be. Would he taste like alcohol or something sweeter? How soft would his lips be? You leaned into him only for him to reach behind you picking up the spray bottle and rag. He walked away with a smirk and began wiping down tables.

“Talk to me doll” he said “ I mean I’ve told you so many things before it's only fair you tell me a secret or two” his voice was sensual. It sent tingles through your body to your core. You crossed your legs squeezing tight at the sound.

“Well” you said contemplating if you should speak your thoughts.

Toji stopped his cleaning to look at you

“It's just us two here, you can tell me anything” he said softly.

You looked around as if you’d somehow find someone sitting in the corner listening in. To no surprise the room was empty apart from Toji’s large muscular body standing a few feet away from you.

“I guess I just fantasize about losing my virginity,” you said, voice fading away.

You felt embarrassed at your confession. You wanted to hide away. Lose your virgin, what a foolish fantasy. Why not something like travel the world or start a business, that’s a real fantasy but no there you sat legs crossed squeezed searching for friction. “I mean- well there's more but I well” your words seemed to scramble as you spoke. Toji stood in front of you smiling at your truth.

“I think that’s a cute fantasy.” he said

He leaned against the table and folded his arm.

“I’d love to hear more about this…” he bowed his head, hiding his smile, “fantasy,” he said finishing his sentence.

“What? More?” you almost yelled shocked by his words

He licked his lips while making eye contact.

“Yeah” he repeated “More”

He got up from the table and began to roam around the room with a sigh.

“I mean there’s gotta be something more to this little fantasy of yours”

He walked over to you fiddling with the edge of your skirt. His fingers brushed against your skin making you feel hot all over.

“What is it, do you have some fantasy of getting tied up for your first time?”

His fingers danced across your skin. He looked down concentrated on his hand movements.

“Or do you just want a nice big cock to stretch you out?”

His words went straight to your core. You were too shocked by the vulgarity of it all to say anything. No one had ever spoken to you like that before. No one’s words had ever made you throb the way his did.He chuckled at your silence. Toji stepped away and went back to cleaning. You almost had the urge to snatch his arm and drag him back to you. You could never see yourself being that brave though.

“Well what about you?” you muttered too shy to speak up.

“Hm? Me?” he asked looking up from his task.

“Oh well I’ve got a few fantasies I guess” He stood with a concentrated look thinking about his own fantasies.

Your mind was running a relay race imagining the lewd words that could possibly come from him. At the same time you wondered what he could possibly fantasize about? What had he not done? You leaned forward intrigued with what he would say.

“Tell me,” you said, eyes wide with interest.

He laughed at your eagerness

“You really wanna know?” he asked, leaning against the table.

You nodded your head, excitement coursing through you.

“I do,” you said in a hushed voice.

Toji walked to you leaving his rag behind. His footsteps seemed so loud in the empty room. He filled up so much space with confidence alone.

“I guess I have that same fantasy”

His finger traced your jawline while his eyes stared deep into yours.

“I’ve been thinking about it alot lately,” he said as he licked his lips. “I can't stop thinking about how good it would feel stretching out a fresh virgin hole. The thought of making someone so innocent beg for my cock while I fuck them dumb” his bit his lip and looked down towards your plump ones “That shit just drives me crazy doll”

Your breath hitched as he spoke. You couldn’t help the throbbing that went to your core. The thought of having someone like Toji give you everything you ever desired sent shivers through you. You knew he’d make you feel better than any toy you had could ever make you feel. The way his lips looked so wet and soft, the way his muscles strained against his shirt, how he always smelled good always made your heart beat so hard you were sure he could hear. You sat starstruck, unable to form the words you wanted to say. Hell, you didn’t even know what to say. Would you beg him to fuck you, to take your virginity right then and there? Would you tell him that's nice and try to change the subject? No you had to take chances,

Live a little kid

You heard Shiu’s words replay in your mind like a record.

Now was the time to live a little.

“You got something on your mind?” Toji asked as if he was just waiting for you to say the word.

“I can help” the words flew out your mouth at the speed of light.

You wanted to hide away after hearing yourself. Help what? Clean? You couldn't pull yourself together.

Toji hummed satisfied with your answer.

“You want to help?” he asked “Are you asking me to bend you over and fuck you in this bar?”

He leaned in to whisper the words in your ear. Hearing him say it out loud almost felt wrong.

“I do- I mean I am- wait I mean” you fumbled over your words too overcome with embarrassment to function.

Toji’s laughter caught you off guard. He grabbed you by the jaw and pulled you in for a kiss. The kiss was wet. He tasted so sweet even though he had been drinking. His lips were soft. So soft you felt yourself melting into him. Your hands gripped the side of the stool almost tearing at the leather. Toji’s hand moved down to your neck pulling you closer to deepen the kiss. His kiss was delicate yet was filled with hunger. His fingers danced up your skirt feeling the heat between your legs.

“No panties huh, you’re not as innocent as i thought” he smiled as he inched his fingers closer to your core feeling the way you were practically leaking.

“This can’t possibly be your first go around. You come in wearing these short skirts” he pressed a kiss to your neck and licked a long strip up to your jaw.

“You're wearing nothing underneath. I bet you were just begging for someone like me to peek and see that pretty little pussy dripping all over my seats.”

You were left in a daze from his fingers just barely brushing against where you needed him most to how he sucked your neck leaving your skin feeling raw. His scent filled your every waking being. He was all that you could feel, see, touch, smell. It was almost as if he had become the only person left in the world and all that you wanted was for him to touch you; to touch you in ways no one had ever done before. You needed him. Your mind was desperately pleading for him to slip his fingers inside of you, to feel your gummy walls and finally give you the pleasure that you were desperately clinging onto him for.

“Please touch me” you whimpered out.

Your voice felt so weak. You were so needy for him, your fingers dug into his arm pulling him closer.

“Such a needy little thing” he chuckled

His fingers moved along your legs teasing you with every touch.

“I need more than that love. Where do you need me” he voiced with his head still in the crook of your neck sucking and licking at your skin.

You grabbed his hand, dragging it up your thigh to place it between your folds. Words seemed to fail you so taking action was your only choice.

“Here”

Toji smiled at your courage. His fingers maneuvered up and down your core feeling how wet you were. He rubbed soothing circles onto the bundle of nerves earning him a soft moan from you.

“Have you ever been stuffed with someone’s fingers?” he asked in a low voice

You shook your head while meeting his eyes.Toji free hand grabbed your jaw.

“Words Princess”

“No,” you whimpered.

Your answer seemed to have a strong effect on him. The thought of watching your innocence slip away from you at his hand was enough to have his cock straining against his pants.

“I’m gonna put a finger in and I’ll let you know each time I do just so you don’t get all shy on me when your pussy’s sucking my fingers in” he smiled.

His thumb kept a steady pace rubbing quick circles while he slipped his first finger into your hole.

“That’s it” he said, rocking his finger in and out of your eyes watching the way your mouth widened to an ‘o’ shape while moans spilled past your lips.

“You like that?” He placed a wet kiss on your lips.”Pussy feels so tight baby, I wonder how you’re gonna take my cock”

You let out a whine while your hips grinded down onto his hand.

“More please, I need more”

Toji’s eyes lit up at your words.

“Oh? My nasty girl wants more huh” He smirked “I’m putting in a second finger now dirty girl, I’ll give you what you want”

His second finger slipped in with ease. A gasp escaped your lips as he filled you up groaning at the way your hole squeezed around his fingers.

“So wet for me doll.” His breath ghosted against your lips as his fingers continued to fuck in and out of you making a mess below you. You let out weak moans and gasp. This feeling of his fingers massaging your gummy walls was something you had never experienced before. You felt the world revolving around you. Your heart was racing in your chest. Everything seemed so loud at that moment. The way his breaths sounded sharp as his fingers picked up speed. The drips of water from the sink he had left running after washing dishes, The cars speeding by not noticing how you were falling apart giving yourself away to him. If a car were to slow down just for a few seconds it would have been so easy to just peek into the window to see how your legs were spread open. Your hips were grinding down onto him. It would have been so easy just to see how much of a mess you were making for his fingers. That seemed to send a thrill through you, having some unknown stranger turn their head and watch you lose your virginity and take a cock for the first time.

“God, it feels so good” you let out a loud gasp unable to contain yourself.

The feeling of him dipping his fingers into you was so overwhelming you thought you might lose your mind. You had never touched yourself like this before. You always stayed away from fucking your self with you fingers to afraid to stick a finger in always preferring to massage your clit. Little did you know the desire and pleasure that would come with having someone shove their fingers deep into you, you were practically drooling from the feeling. You felt a pit forming in your stomach the feeling so foreign all you could do was moan and curse about how good he felt.

“Come on doll” Toji rasped out “ Give it to me, make me proud, show me how pretty you look making a mess on my fingers.”

His words were enough to send you spiraling. You let out loud unfiltered moans. This was new, something better than ever. You wanted- no craved more. This feeling of ecstasy felt like a drug taking over you. You let out heavy breathes as you came down from your high.

“Don��t think we’re done just yet doll, I want you to take your first cock” Toji said as he lifted you bringing you to the table he had just wiped down.

He pulled your shirt up exposing your breast and pulled a nipple into his mouth. You let out a long moan feeling his hot tongue swivel around your nipple. His mouth felt so warm. His hand squeezed and massaged your other breast as he let out a groan. He pulled your skirt off and threw it in a nearby corner.

“You won't be needing that” He said as he took your body in.

He pulled his cock free from his pants and your eyes went wide. Not only was he big, he was thick. You sat staring with a slack jaw fearful that his two fingers weren’t enough to make him fit. He stroked his cock as he rubbed circles on your clit.

“Look at what you do to me doll” he said, voice strained. “Got me so fucking hard I can’t wait to make your pussy cream”

He pushed you down so that your back was laying flat against the table. His arms wrapped around your thighs to pull you to the edge of the table. He rubbed the tip of his cock against your clit sending shivers through your body.

“Look at you, being so good for me, you ready to take your first cock” he licked his lips staring at your glistening cunt “You ready to make a real mess for me baby?”

The tip of his cock prodded at your hole just barely entering.

“It- It’s too big” you whimpered watching as he held his cock rubbing it through your folds.

“Don’t worry doll, I’ll make it fit” he said, eyes never leaving your hole.

He inched his cock into you achingly slowly watching how your pussy sucked him in taking all that he was giving you. Toji’s eyes rolled back, feeling how tight you were squeezing around him. He had known you'd be tight but never did he imagine you’d have him ready to cum just from sinking himself into you. He stilled inside of you just admiring the warmth and tightness of you. He took a deep breath to gather himself.

“Fuck you feel so good” he whispered the words and you almost didnt hear him.

“I’m gonna take it nice and slow for you princess”

He moved his hips in a slow motion watching the way your face moved from being scrunched up in pain to eyes rolling back enjoying the pleasure of being stuffed full.

“You like that shit” he asked as he rolled his hips into you slowly. His cock felt so delicious inside of you. You wanted this feeling forever. He filled you up so perfectly. You couldn’t fathom the idea of having anyone else fill you up like this. The way his hips rolled into yours meeting your hips with a soft slap left you gasping for air.

“Breathe baby breath” he rubbed soothing circles into your hips.

You sucked in a shaky breath not realizing you had been holding your breath focusing solely on the pleasure of him.

“Come on baby let me hear those moans, I want to hear how you sound taking your first cock” he squeezed your hips as he rocked into you. Toji was holding back. He bit his lip trying to contain himself. He didn’t want to destroy you for your first time. It was taking everything in him not to absolutely wreck you. He made a mental note to himself that the next time he stuffed his cock into you, he’d leaving you a drooling fucked out mess but for now he would be content with just watching the way you’d fall apart taking him your first time.

“Tell me how it feels” he leaned down to pepper wet kisses from your collar to your neck. “First time being so full, tell me where you feel me baby talk to me”

You could barely breathe properly and now you were trying to form sentences.

“So good ugh I feel it all in my tummy it's so big” you slurred.

Your moans were so loud any person walking by would have a perfect show to watch. You couldn’t find it in yourself to care about any lingering stares that could possibly be watching through the window. Your mind wandered off to thoughts of someone sneaking looks through the window, digging their hand in their pants and getting off to you creaming on your first cock. What a lewd thought. Your whimpers seemed to repeat like a broken record. You couldn’t help but moan and beg him for more.

“Faster please I need more” you whimpered, hardly able to contain yourself as you bucked your hips upwards into him.

“You sure doll, I don't think I’ll be able to stop if I do” his voice was gruff as he fucked you in a slow pace.

“Please” you begged “I need you so bad”

Toji bit his lip. He grabbed your legs pulling them up so your ankles could rest on his shoulder. He rubbed your stomach feeling where his cock was inside of you. His hands massaged your skin as he grabbed your calf kissing your ankle.

“Be a good girl and take everything I give you then, hm?”

His cocked slammed into you at a pace you did not expect. His hips met yours with a loud slap. Toji’s eyes scanned your body watching every movement. Your back arched off the table as you moaned so loud your voice echoed off the walls.

“Look so pretty taking cock” he groaned “ Mean to tell me I’m the first one to get to see you like this”

His thrust were relentless slamming into you “This sight is too pretty to share.” His thumb rubbed circles onto your clit as he rocked his hips into you.

“That’s it taking me so well doll” His words were going straight to your core.

You could barely form sentences, only strained moans and slurred versions of his name. Your body seemed to fall apart for him. The table under you rocked back and forth with his thrust. If you had half a mind you would be worried that it would break but all you could think of was how you were about to cum. You felt a warmth in your stomach as he fucked you.

“Come one Princess I want you to cum with me. I want to see how messy you get for the first time” his words had your eyes rolling back. You felt so weak barely able to do anything but cum on his cock. Your body didn’t feel like yours. You had never came so hard in your life. He was covered in your juices, soaked from all that you had to give him. Toji’s eyes were looking down focused on the way his cum mixed with yours covered his cock. His movements slowed as he fucked the cum inside of you.

“I don’t like being wasteful” he said as two fingers covered in cum moved between your lips. You sucked his fingers obediently without a second thought. You were in such a daze you would have done anything for him.

“You were so good for me” his voice was low as he leaned down placing kisses on your lips.

Toji felt his heart growing warm. He had never felt so soft for someone before.With any other girl who would have already been zipping up his pants and ordering them a ride but for you it felt different. He wanted to fulfill every fantasy you had. He wanted to be the only one watching you cum. It was either him or nothing at all. You were just too perfect to share. From the way your chest moved trying to catch your breath to the way your plump lips sat open wet from drool had his heart feeling like it might beat out of his chest.

“I want to make all those nasty fantasies of yours come true.” He whispered, kissing your skin cock still stuffed inside of you.

“I want to be the only one to get to see you like this”

🏷️: @karazorel7 , @candyceedea , @fleurettiie , @pressuredtreasure , @plaxxxie , @cloud-lyy , @fictionalthirsting , @smuttyfantasyrecs , @enchantedcherie , @coyloves , @baldi-2 , @pickledwasp , @sanxuus , @fictionsimp , @ibby-miyoshi-nerd , @kiqqnii , @snazzyturtles , @sadlittle-girl , @faumpje , @nvvacanesworld , @no-f34r

[augiewrites]

"secret admirer" - dead poets society

summary: y/n receives yet another profession of love under their door—too bad the hallway is always empty when they open the door

pairing: anonymous!dead poet x gender neutral reader

word count: 591

i am back two years and one english degree later to write a fic that no one asked for! now that's what i call self care!

part two

Winter proved the student body of Welton wrong when they thought the school couldn't get any more dull. The cold can be cruel like that.

Just like the winter stripped the North of all life, Welton stripped it's students of all identity. In a place where boot licking is the norm and conformity is the goal—Y/N's only retreat was the 200 square foot box they called home for ten months of the year. The only place anyone in Welton was allowed to be themself.

That was exactly where Y/N and their roommate—Quinn—found themselves on a particularly cold Sunday morning.

Y/N sighed and looked from their homework over to Quinn, who had yet to get out of bed, "Do you know that guy that's like...scary good at latin? What's his name? Minks?"

"Hmm," Quinn hummed, wrapping the blanket closer to their body, "the ginger kid? Always hanging out with that tall dude?"

"Yeah, him," a pause and yet another sigh from Y/N, "I think I need a tutor if I want to keep an A this semester. I—"

Suddenly an envelope skidded under the door and across the floor. Rapid footsteps followed soon after and Y/N could hear a door slamming further down the wing.

Quinn rolled their eyes, "God. Not another one."

Y/N just shot them a look and picked up the envelope—one of many addressed to them and left unsigned.

"You wouldn't be rolling your eyes if you were the one with a secret admirer."

"You wouldn't be rolling your eyes if you were the one with a secret admirer mehmheh blah," Quinn mocked in a high tone, "Yeah. If they were for me, they'd be romantic. For you? Prepare to be murdered."

"Shut up."

Y/N opened the letter and dove in. Their heart was beating much faster than they would like to admit.

Lovely Y/N,

She walks in beauty, like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that’s best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes; Thus mellowed to that tender light Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

I couldn't help but think of you when Keating had us reciting Lord Byron's work last week. The sun was so bright for a dreary winter day, and the rays illuminating from the window painted an image of heaven around your silhouette. You looked so lovely, I could barely register Byron's words.

I would happily go toward the light if I knew you were waiting for me within it.

Sincerely,

Yours.

Y/N could feel Quinn's eyes on them as their cheeks burst into a rosy flame.

"He's in my English class."

Quinn gasped, "Finally! We have a lead!"

"Quinn, I really don't want to play detective on this...what if I think it's the wrong person and make a fool of myself? I think I would have to drop out. Die, even."

But Quinn kept rambling on, completely ignoring their roommate's apprehension, "it's too bad I'm not smart enough for AP English—I would for sure be able to catch that creep staring you down. You're so oblivious. He could be telling you all these things to your face and you would doubt that he's into you."

"I'm not that oblivious, Quinn."

"Oh, please," Quinn exclaimed, "you're so romantically challenged! This guy has been right under your nose and you don't have a single clue!"

Y/N scoffed and returned to their homework.

"Whatever you say, Quinn. We're just going to have to wait and see."

~~~

a/n: who could it possibly be?? 🤯

part two

[septimusmoonlight]

Anonymous: I can't stop cumming to the thought of filling you up and later when you're about to birth my pups I deny it and fill you again making your pregnancies overlap until your mind is completely broken and I fuck you into a mess

Good thing you can’t stop thinking about it, ‘cause it’s something I like thinking about too~

I’m imagining a big, scary monster with a massive cock - maybe that’s you - filling up an unwilling breeder - maybe that’s me - with pups. You kidnap me to make sure that your pups grow nice and healthy inside of me, bringing me back to your rocky den inside of a cave, and as scared as I am of you, I can’t help but get wet at the knowledge of my body being used.

When my belly is so swollen that I would look more than overdue if I were carrying a human child, I go into labor. You’re alerted by my moans of pain, and take the opportunity to immediately start fucking me again, preventing me from giving birth. I’m begging and pleading for you to let me get your pups out, please, it hurts, please let me give birth - but you refuse to listen, growling as you rut into my wet hole.

You cum inside of me, and I immediately know you’ve just knocked me up all over again, the prospect terrifying but also one that makes me cum explosively, clenching hard around your cock. When you pull out, you pick me up like it takes no effort at all, and then sink me onto a particularly smooth, rounded rock formation that sticks up from the cave floor, making the stone act as a plug that prevents me from giving birth while your next litter is on the way. The thing is too big and I’m too heavy to lift myself off of it, so I’m left in simultaneous pain and pleasure while my middle grows even more.

When I go into labor for the second time, you effortlessly pick me up and again force yourself into me to seed me with another litter. When your hot cum pumps into my womb, my head goes blank as I accept that this is where I am and where I’m stuck, not screaming nor pleading anymore - but it also feels good, and I’m struggling not to admit that as you rail me before sliding me back down onto the stone.

When the third labor comes, though, and you lift me from the cave floor yet again, something inside of my head snaps and my cunt suddenly feels horribly, painfully empty - and I need you to fill me, bless me with your pups, make me as pregnant as you want, keep me pregnant, oh fuck-

You’re all too glad to comply, and your renewed vigor at my obedience just makes me scream and moan even more from the combination of pleasure and pain - though the pleasure far overwhelms what pain is there, and the pain itself is something that just makes me even more wet. With your fourth litter growing inside of me, I’m impossibly swollen at this point, the activity of your previous litters just causing even more sensation, and I can’t help but get wet at the feeling. I soak the ground beneath me as I moan and shift my hips on the stone toy you’ve impaled me on, just trying to get a little more stimulation, my brain entirely melted away in place of my new life as a perpetual incubator.

[ofallthingsnasty]

Idk if your still doing yandere monsters

But a big strong tall orc who seen the horrors of war and is seen as heartless by his people finds chubby reader lost in the woods after her husband abdoned her and grows obsessed soon they go from being scared in the woods to being scared as a orc bigger and stronger in everyway carries them everywhere and constantly showing them off and making sure his captive is dressed in the finest pelts and spoiled but constantly punished to make sure their a perfect little soft mate

your brain, anon.... i want it... this is so juicy 🤤 i really want to write a little one-shot for this and i will!! one day haha -- until then, have some rambles

tags: yandere, heavy dubcon, exhibitionism, minors dni, kind of kidnapping?, f!reader word count: 0.8k

That thought is so cute... Just this is big, burly and scary orc treating you like his most prized possession (well, you kind of are), both gentle and patronizing. To go from being absolutely distraught and scared, all alone in the wilderness, to being saved and cared for by this huge man who looks like he has taken more than dozen lives yet cooes down at you as though you’re a little lap dog - how dizzying that must be. Your poor little head will spin during these first few days, for sure. He is so patient at first, as well - listens to your tearful words and decides then and there that that poor excuse of a human being didn’t deserve you in the first place, that you are way too precious to be treated with so little respect. He’s getting in on the years, craves a little stability, someone to hold - and you are just so cute and helpless, perfect to keep. (And he deserves this, he thinks. He found you out there and saved your life, it’s what you owe him.) He’s never mean but he can get quite stern with you. If you request to be let go, to go back to your family to lick your wounds, he’ll explain to you that he basically owns you now - and that it’d be terribly ungrateful to run from your savior like that. He doesn’t force you to do things you don’t want to do - he can wait to split you open on his cock, he doesn’t mind. You still need to recover from that terrible injustice your former husband did to you - but he’ll make sure to fuck you on his fingers, to have you ride his strong thighs until you cum, again and again. He enjoys seeing your face contort into absolute bliss, to feel how you let go.  And when you finally let him fuck you, it’s all the sweeter. He’s gentle with you at first, knows how big he is compared to you but he’ll train you to take him fully and without any trouble in no time. He loves to just pound into you, to watch your helpless little face and your tits bounce with every thrust, loves to show you that he owns you now. 

He isn’t afraid to do it in public, either. You better lose all of your inhibitions quickly because he’ll have you on his lap during nights with his friends, bends you over the table during lunch. No one will even bat an eye when you suddenly cum right in front of them or when he empties himself in you. The nights he spends with his friends will become more than just treasured memories when you cockwarm him, yelping and sputtering at every jolt of laughter that runs through him. He isn’t the type to take out his anger on you, ever - but you will get punished when the need arrises. He’ll keep it short and simple. Often a spanking is sufficient for him, especially when he gets to make sure your skin runs hot from the hits and you get all teary-eyed and stuttery. It’s just too precious to him, his little wife weepy and apologetic - and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t fuck you afterwards, mouth full of condescending praise and proclamations of love. He needs to keep you in check but it’s all part of the fun for him - so if you’re a little feisty, he’ll enjoy that, too. It just means that he gets to laugh at your sharp words and useless slaps against his chest - and then make you eat your actions with the palm of his hand. You’ll never want for anything - as condescending as he can be, he acknowledges you’re your own person, that you have interests and needs. Whatever it is you like to do, you’ll get all the supplies for it and then some. He loves the way your eyes light up when he presents you with an expensive gift, the way you bite your lip shyly while accepting it. He loves to drape you in jewelry, as well. Seeing you wear nothing but delicately crafted necklaces and rings and bracelets appeals to something deep within him that wants to provide for you, that preens at the thought of him being able to dress you in luxurious items - he’s your husband now and he loves to spoil you.

All in all, he may not be the easiest to be with because he keeps treating you like a pet but it’s simple to figure him out and satisfy. Never sadistic, too - when you’re good, you’re good - but a little on the rougher side. You’ll be provided for for the rest of your life - at the teeny, tiny cost of being fucked raw every single day and cooed at like some lap dog.

[salty-autistic-writer]

For @bucktommypositivityweek Day 1: what they love most about each other

Just The Way You Are

The things Buck and Tommy love most about each other are - ironically - the things they are most insecure about.

His past experiences have taught Buck that people don’t like when he talks too much. Especially when he talks too much about a topic they are not interested in. Small talk is practical. It serves a purpose. People ask a few general questions until they can start to talk about themselves. They don’t want to hear 1000 facts about something very specific. So whenever Buck catches himself getting too excited while rambling, he apologizes and tries to stop himself. It’s fine. He can file the information away in some corner of his mind, telling it to himself later. He doesn’t want to be exhausting.

But when he says, “I’m sorry” after he notices he rambles to Tommy while they are having dinner, Tommy blinks in confusion and says, “What for? Go on.”

What for? Huh. That’s not the … usual reaction.

“I was rambling,” Buck states, confused. “Yeah. And I love to hear you ramble," Tommy says.

Buck's breath falters. Did he hear that right? “You … Really?! You like it?"

“I would never lie to you, Evan," Tommy says seriously. "This is one of the things I love about you most. Please don’t stop.”

Buck exhales shakily. Suddenly, he feels heavy and light at the same time. Are those actual tears in his eyes? Damn. Must be all the childhood trauma hitting him all at once. All the times that he felt like he was being too much while at the same time never being enough. All those moments in which he felt like he was talking into the void because no one really wanted to listen to what he had to say. The disappointment. The anger he directed at himself. Because, yeah, why couldn't he just shut up?!

“Evan? Are you alright?” Tommy asks, his voice now filling with worry. Buck nods and clears his throat. “Yeah. I’m fine. It’s just … Most people don’t react like you just did. They tell me I’m annoying or exhausting or they just give me subtle hints that I should stop, you know? A sigh. A twitch of their eye. Or when their smile gets too wide and too bright so you know exactly that they are just faking it.”

Tommy reaches out and takes Buck’s hand, gently squeezing it. “I see. I’m sorry they couldn’t appreciate you for being your true self. You never have to stop rambling to me. Now please tell me more about spiders, maybe it will help me with my very irrational fear of them.”

Buck chuckles. “Okay. So, uh, did you know that there are spiders who fling their hair at predators?” Tommy raises a brow. “No, I didn’t know that. And I have a feeling it won't help me with being scared of spiders. But go on. Sounds fascinating.” +++

His past experiences have taught Tommy that life essentially is a stage play. People have certain expectations. If you don’t fulfil them, it leads to confusion and irritation. Usually, people don’t want to hear or see the truth. They want to hear and see what they like and what fits their view of the world around them.

It’s normal to play a role and wear a mask, especially when you realize that being yourself leads to a lot of confusing moments. It’s kind of funny most people just assume he's super extrovert and confident, then react bewildered when he tells them his social battery is empty and no, he can’t go to another bar right now. He has to recharge. People look at him and see someone big, strong, and confident. Someone who knows what he wants and who he is. Someone who takes charge. Someone who takes care of others and protects them.

Then comes Evan and he doesn’t leave like the others did. Evan stays and time passes and Tommy realizes he has to take off his mask and stop playing a role because it would be unfair to his boyfriend. It’s a scary moment, really. Because there's still a chance that Evan will look at him differently. That he will leave eventually.

But no matter what Tommy reveals about himself, Evan smiles and says okay and saves the information in his mind so he can remember it later. And he does. He remembers. He remembers that Tommy likes to know the plan beforehand and isn’t fond of having his routine interrupted by a surprise. He remembers that Tommy has to recharge his social battery and needs space for that. He remembers that Tommy doesn’t like certain smells or textures because they physically make him sick. He remembers everything and he never says a bad word about it.

When Evan looks at him, he doesn’t see something he created in his head, he sees all the things Tommy told Evan about himself. He sees that Tommy likes to let go sometimes and that he likes to be taken care of as well, as long as he can trust someone enough. And he trusts Evan. With all the things he didn’t dare to tell other people. When he tells Evan that he usually doesn't get to be the little spoon in bed, Evan first curses Tommy's past partners in colourful ways, then says, "We can both be little and big spoons, depending on how we feel and what we need. And if neither of us wants to be a certain spoon, then we can just turn to face each other. Spoons can look at each other as well."

Sometimes Tommy looks at Evan and thinks: He’s too good to be real.

And then Evan wraps his arms around Tommy from behind, sighing against the back of Tommy’s neck, his breath warm and tickling, and he says, “This is one of the things I love most. That you trust me with this. That you trust me with you.”

Turns out you’re only insecure about certain things until you find the person who accepts you just the way you are.

[secretsofdbz]

So I finally caught some sleep (I woke up at 4 am, 20 minutes after the announcement, and slept a bit more after my last post announcing his passing).

First of all, this is going to be my panel: "See ya later guys, when you die we'll meet again!"

The hematoma that's mentioned in the statement announced in his passing implies a head injury (so perhaps he fell, perhaps something fell on his head, and the internal wound may have not be noticed)

The last artwork he did that was published was this new Sandland one to celebrate the upcoming series. It was revealed on March 4th, so after his passing. We don't know if it's the last artwork he did (he may have drawn this earlier and it was revealed later, who knows.

I'd also like to share some other statements, in no particular order:

Toyotaro's:

Masako Nozawa (Goku's VA) statement:

「コメントできる状況にございません」 -> "I am not in a position to comment."

(aka she was too shaken)

Nozawa update:

「信じたくない。考えたくないという気持ちで頭の中が空っぽです。それでも、お会いするたびに鳥山先生がおっしゃってくださった『悟空をお願いしますね』というお言葉を思い出すと、『私の命が尽きるまで悟空のそばにいよう』と気持ちを保つことが出来ます。先生、空から私たちを見守っていてください。どうか安らかな旅立ちでありますように。」 I don't want to believe. My mind is empty because I don't want to think about it. Still, every time we met, Toriyama-sensei said to me, "I'll take care of Goku for you, won't I?" When I remember your words, 'I will stay by Goku's side until my life is over,' I can keep my mind on it. Sensei, please watch over us from the sky. May you have a peaceful departure.

(Mayumi Tanaka, the voice of Krillin who was requested by Tori super early on will probably say something at some point too).

Oda (One Piece author) statement:

It is too early. The hole is too big. Sadness washes over me when I think that I will never see him again. I have admired him so much since I was a child, so I remember the day he called me by name for the first time. On the way home from the day you used the word "friend" for me and Kishimoto, I remember being overjoyed with Kishimoto. I also remember the last conversation we had. I was one of those who took the baton from the days when reading manga made you a fool, and he also created an era when both adults and children could enjoy reading manga. He showed us the dream that manga can go worldwide. It was like watching a hero going forward. For not only mangakas but also creators in various industries, the excitement and emotion of the time of Dragon Ball serialization must have taken root in their childhood. His existence is like a big tree. For the manga artists of our generation who stood on the same stage, Toriyama's works became more and more important to me as I got closer to the same stage. I even felt being scary. But I am just happy to see the aloof man himself again. Because we love him on a blood level. With respect and gratitude for the creative world he has left behind. I pray for his soulful rest in peace. May heaven be the joyous world he envisioned.

And Kishimoto's statement (the autho of Naruto)

To be honest, I don’t know what to write or how to write it. But right now, I want to tell Mr. Toriyama the things I always wanted to ask him and my feelings. I grew up with Mr. Toriyama’s manga, Dr. Slump in elementary school and Dragon Ball in high school. It was natural for me to have Mr. Toriyama’s manga next to me as a part of my life. Even when I was feeling down, the weekly Dragon Ball always made me forget about it. It was a salvation for me, a country boy with nothing to do. That’s how much I enjoyed Dragon Ball! When I was a college student, Dragon Ball, which had been a part of my life for so long, suddenly ended. I was overwhelmed by a tremendous sense of loss and didn’t know what to look forward to. But at the same time, it was an opportunity for me to realize from the bottom of my heart the greatness of Mr. Toriyama, who created Dragon Ball. I want to create a work like Mr. Toriyama’s! I want to be like Mr. Toriyama! As I chased after Mr. Toriyama, the sense of loss gradually disappeared. Because it was fun to create manga. By chasing after Mr. Toriyama, I was able to find new joy. Mr. Toriyama was always my compass. He was my inspiration. I may be bothering Mr. Toriyama, but I am grateful to him without permission. To me, he was a savior and a god of manga. When I first met him, I was so nervous that I couldn’t say a word. But as I met him more and more at the Tezuka Osamu Cultural Prize jury meeting, I was able to talk to him. I will never forget the time when I talked to him about how much fun Dragon Ball was, like a child with Oda-san, as Dragon Ball children, and how he smiled a little shyly. I just received the news of Mr. Toriyama’s death. I am overwhelmed by a tremendous sense of loss, even greater than when Dragon Ball ended… I don’t know how to deal with this hole in my heart yet. I can’t read my favorite Dragon Ball right now. I don’t even feel like I’m writing this text properly to Mr. Toriyama. Everyone in the world was still looking forward to Mr. Toriyama’s work. If one Dragon Ball wish really comes true… I’m sorry… It may be selfish, but I’m sad, Mr. Toriyama. Thank you, Mr. Akira Toriyama, for 45 years of wonderful work. And thank you very much for your hard work. To the bereaved family, I pray that you will find peace and comfort in the midst of your grief. I pray for the peaceful repose of the soul of Mr. Akira Toriyama.

And finally one of Toriyama's close friends Masakazu Katsura (Video Girl AI author) also had this to say:

I feel drained and unmotivated. I don’t want to write a comment like this. But I’ll write something. Once I start writing, I’ll have so much to say that it will probably turn into a long text, but I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. I apologize for the rambling, as my thoughts are still not in order. Looking back, all I have are fond memories of the times we spent together – whether it was visiting your house, having you stay over at mine, or going out on trips. Every time we talked on the phone, we would laugh so hard that we would get tired. You were a funny person. You were perverted, cute, sharp-tongued, and humble. We collaborated on some manga projects, which were also a lot of fun. But 99% of the time, we never talked about manga. As a manga artist, the gap between the way we saw things and our level of skill was too great, and I never really felt your greatness. I know it now. But when I was with you, I never felt it at all. That’s just the kind of person you were. That’s why I still can’t think of you as anything other than a friend, even though you were a great manga artist. Last summer, before I had surgery, you heard about it somewhere and sent me an email. It was really rare for you to send an email, and it was so full of concern for my health. We’ve been friends for 40 years, but that might have been the first time I felt such kindness from you. I thought it was going to snow. You know, you usually only talk about jokes or nonsense. What the hell, you shouldn’t be worried about other people, right? I called you a little before that, and I was feeling sick all over, so I said, “I’ll probably go first, so have a farewell party for me, Toriyama! And make sure you give a speech, because it’ll make me look good!” But you didn’t keep your promise. I really regret not calling you after you emailed me. I just can’t believe that I can’t talk to you on the phone for hours anymore. There are so many things I want to talk to you about. There are so many things I want to say. Even if you don’t care about what I have to say, you can just zone out like you always do. I just want to talk to you again. The last thing you said to me was “OK” in response to my email asking you to contact me again. That’s just not good enough. I’m so sad.

And the Dragon Quest LEGEND, Yuji Horii, too...

I am still filled with disbelief at the sudden news of Mr. Toriyama’s passing. I have known Mr. Toriyama since I was a writer for Weekly Shonen Jump. At the recommendation of my editor, Torishima-san, I decided to ask him to draw the illustrations for the game Dragon Quest when we were launching it. For over 37 years since then, he has drawn countless charming characters, including character designs and monster designs. The history of Dragon Quest is one that has been intertwined with Mr. Toriyama’s character designs. Mr. Toriyama and the late Mr. Sugiyama were longtime collaborators on Dragon Quest. I can’t believe they’re gone… I can’t find the words to express my sorrow. This is truly, truly a tragedy.

Torishima, his "evil editor" (the one the Mashirito from Dr Slump is inspired by), also put out a statement:

"The last time we worked together was on the book we published last year, 'Dr. Mashirito's Strongest Manga Technique.' In that book, 'Torishima and Toriyama Back Then' was the last manga we made together. 45 years, thank you very much. Mr. Toriyama, you were the best manga artist I have ever known."

(this is what he's talking about)

Jackie Chan statement:

"Akira Toriyama-sensei, thank you for creating so many classics, they will always be with the world, farewell 🙏"

French president Emmanuel Macron:

the tweet reads "To Akira Toriyama and his millions of fans who grew up with him",

The authograph says "for Ma-ku-ro-n president" (to President Macron); the hand-drawn parts are the little Goku and the dragon balls surrounding him, alongside the autograph. It was drawn over a printed paper (as per custom when getting an autograph)

The date indicates it was given to him during the Olympic Games in Tokyo.

Yabuki Kentaro (To Love Ru's author) (link to the tweet)

Takao Koyama (screen writer for 90% of the episodes and the movies) says Toriyama was sick for over a year at this point. He himself is pretty badly sick as well.

Hiroki Takahashi (Makafushigi Adventure, first DB opening)

Hironobu Kageyama (Chala Head Chala and everything else)

"Singing 'CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA!' is the biggest medal in my life! The loss of the sun is too much to bear But the power of Toriyama-sensei's works Will continue to be a strong light And may it illuminate people all over the world. May you rest in peace."

(some more of the Editorial department of Jump can be found here, with a good browser extension you should be able to get the gist of it)

Feel free to reblog with your favorite manga panels, interviews, trivias, and let's pay a homage to his life and work, alright??

[bandgie]

Predator & Prey

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

smut!Nonhuman

synopsis: You were suddenly teleported to a snowy world while discovering a cave. After norrowingly escaping a terrible fate, you're practically forced to deal with a winged beast you saved. It's awkward and kinda mean, but it does more good than harm.

warnings!: I think this counts as dead dove, there's some gore (stabbing, blood, bone breaking) in this chapter. there's also monsterfucking, but it's not in this chapter (no smut... yet), reader is also is a scary situation but you'll make it out okay :)

a/n: I love monster fucking, I am part of the community and I pray this reaches the right audience cuz im not tryna be shamed!

5.4k words

You wore a cute spring dress, being that it was Easter. You did not favor the color white or yellow, so you when with a shade of pink that went nicely against your skin. The dress was decorated with small flowers at the bottom of the dress that touched your mid thigh. You wore open-toed wedges made it a little difficult to walk in, but you could manage.

Though you liked hunting for eggs, pictures were probably your least favorite part. Then again, you're sure it was everyone's least favorite part. Your family was looking for another spot to take a picture, so you were free to explore the terrain of the area. Your family had chosen a secluded beach, not many people but too many caves. You opted to watch the beach, the waves softly splashing at your feet.

Your peace is broken by your younger sibling calling your name, signaling that your parents have found a place for pictures. With a sigh, you grab your shoes and walk barefoot on the sand. Then you feel it, a cold breeze washes over you that send chills down your spine. Your head whips around, arms wrapping around your body as you look at your surroundings. Sure it was windy, but it shouldn't have been that cold.

You're about to ignore it when you feel the gust of wind again, now realizing it's coming from the cave to your right. You narrow your eyes to look inside, unsure of what you might see.

Nothing.

You step closer, ignoring your sibling's yelling as you walk into the cave. The empty cave, save for the water on the ground and the...icicles on the ceiling?

The ground starts to viciously shake, your arms stretching out to find something to balance on. One arm grabs onto the side of cave while the other block the top of your head to prevent the icicles from falling on you.

An earthquake, you think as you fear for you life and your family's. They should be safe, given that they're outside. You though? You're not entirely sure. After a few more seconds, the ground stops moving, the water stops splashing so aggressively. You release a breath you didn't know you were holding and turn, running back to your family to check on them.

The cold hits you immediately, your arms go back to wrapping across your body. You think you're hallucinating, dreaming. Those icicles must've hit your head leaving you unconscious. But why does it feel so real? The painful chill you're body is experiencing, the chattering of your teeth, the snow that falls from the sky, why is it all so real?

You take tentative steps forward, eyes scanning the frosty trees and ears hyper fixated on the crunch beneath your feet. Toes and fingers are the first to go in frostbite, so you bend down to put your shoes back on. You sink into the snow, but it's either this or chopping your feet off.

"Mom?! Dad?!" You yell. You strain to hear any response, but you're left with deafening silence. You sniff, eyes starting to water. You're scared, the overwhelming scene of loneliness quickly starting to get the best of you.

You shake your head aggressively, the heated curls on your head hitting you in the face. Crying won't fix anything, it'll only make things worse. With a few deep breaths, you manage to maintain your composure.

Okay first things first, you think, get warm. Most people would advise you to stay where you are when you're lost, but in this case, that's the last thing you should do. You look at where the sun is, determining that it's a little past the afternoon. People who live in the snow build their houses on the East, so maybe if you head in that direction you'll find something?

"Oh my god," you say aloud, finally accepting the predicament you're in.

"I'm fucked."

-

You were about to give up on your pursuit of finding warmth until you saw a large house, or building. It was far, but it was there. Your body was shivering, and you know your snot and tears were frozen on your face, but the mere sight of a home had you running.

Your wedges quickly came undone, leaving your barefooted to run in the burning snow. You didn't care though, and the view of the house-no mansion quickly came into view. It was bigger than you anticipated, but you could only cry of joy when you ran up the steps and banged on the door.

It didn't matter if you looked like a crazy woman, it didn't matter how disgusting your face was, what mattered was being thrown in a fire.

"Hello?!?!? Excuse me?!?!" Your voice was loud, demanding to be heard. Both your hands were banging harshly on the door, you would apologize for being so rude later.

Finally the door swung open, an older lady in white and black greening you.

"What in names heaven do you think you're- Oh my goodness!" She quickly took in your physical state. She grabbed you by the hand and yanked you inside, shutting the door.

"Grace?" Another voice called from deeper inside the house. "Who was it?"

The lady, who you now know was Grace, waved a dismissive hand. "Run me a hot bath! Quickly! Quickly!" Grace was practically pushing you inside, up the stairs while your feet struggled to keep up. You were shivering too much, tears clouding your vision that you could barely see where you were going. But you could feel the warm embrace of heat.

You were shoved into a room, clothes quickly being stripped off before you could complain. Grace along with other women lifted you and placed you in a bath. You yelped in pain, the heat of the water was too much. If they heard you, they ignored you. Rather, they dunked a bucket of water over your head, warming every part of your body.

After clearing your face, you finally took in the way the bathroom looked, if you could call it that. It was unbelievably big, a large window stood in front of you. Then you looked the women who were scrubbing you, varying from ages. Yet, it was clear the Grace was the one in charge, easily giving orders the other ladies listened to. They were all dressed the same, as if it was uniform.

"Do you guys...work here?" You ask.

Your voice broke their concentration, eyes narrowing at you. "Maids tend to work where they live, yes," Grace answers, as if it's the most obvious answer. Maids? You think, who has maids nowadays? Before you can ask another question, Grace speaks.

"Are you feeling better? Can you move?" Her eyes can your body from underneath the body, and now is it that you become aware that you're nude. You can't cover yourself though, the other women were busy cleaning your arms and scrubbing your head.

You nod deciding that this must be a frequent occurrence for them, "Yeah, it's just a little hard to move my fingers." She nods, turning to the door. "That's normal," she starts, "I'll find you something to wear. Girls..." her head turns to her workers, "Get her dry."

With multiple yes ma'am's they pull you out of the water, leaving you to bare to the window. A small shriek leaves your lips, you quickly tell them you can dry yourself. They instead giggle at your little outburst, gently pulling you out of the tub.

"Please don't worry yourself miss," one of them says. It's only then that you notice their accent. It had a slight lisp to it, like a gentle pirate who was sophisticated.

"You'll be fine with us. For now, we should get the hearth going. Need to warm yourself yes?" Another was grabbing the towel, wrapping you tightly. Before you could say something, there was loud clanging. Muffled, but loud enough. You peer outside the two-story window and see a cage. There were three people, men you think, poking at the cage with what seemed like a stick. Whatever was in the cage was not happy, thrashing around angrily.

"Please miss, pry you eyes away. It's unwise to look upon such a beastly thing," another girl pulls you away from the window, using smaller towels to dry your hands and feet.

You remain silent, allowing them to dry your body. You hear a couple of them whispering near the door.

"I hear she came with ill clothes, indecent for a young lady in this cold," one whispers. "She must not be from here. Perhaps she was in an accident and got lost," the other reasons.

Before you could say anything, the door swings open, almost hitting the two gossiping girls. Grace waltz in, a large dress in her hands. She sets it on the stool nearby and with a wave of her hand, dismisses a few of the girls.

"I believe this will fit rather nicely. These girls will do your hair and such," Grace announces.

"Actually," you start, "I'm just lost. I don't know where I am and-" Grace laughs, though you didn't say anything funny. "I understand your worries, but I believe you should concern yourself with other things. Do you know whose house you're in?" Her eyes glint with curiosity. I shake my head, "Like I said, I'm lost and I need to find my-"

"You are in the home of Lord Lukas," Grace interrupts again. You're starting to grow irritated, close to snapping at this lady. She helped you though, clothed and bathed you; you bite your tongue.

"He is the famous monster hunter, and you stumble in here wearing heavens knows what in the winter. You have stirred the pot in such a way, miss. Perhaps I pry too much, but are you...interested in the lord?"

You furrow your eyebrows. The ladies behind you are dead silent, waiting for your response. You take a deep breath, "I don't want to talk about this naked."

The ladies gasp, as if you had said a terrible thing. They quickly grab the dress from Grace and bottles from the bid dresser behind you. Without a word, grab at your towel, but you hold it tightly.

"Can I dress myself?!" You shout, losing your composure. The ladies look at one another then at Grace. For a moment, Grace eyes you suspiciously. She lets out a sigh and nods, "Leave her girls. We need to prepare for dinner."

-

You have decided that not only are you in a completely different area, but surrounded by old technology. No hair dryer, heated pipes for the bath, stained windows, the smell of old wood, it's not current trends. Perhaps this place prefers the older times, but the accent, the outfits...

No, you're getting distracted. You need to get home, and you should start by heading back from where you came from. Or is this just a very realistic dream? You would normally wake up the moment you recognized you were dreaming, but this time you stayed in this fictional world.

One thing was sure though, you were not putting that dress on. It was beautiful yes, but too many layers. It had a corset much too small for your body and was unnecessarily big. After some digging around, you found outfits that were similar of that to that maids. It would be much easier to walk in, and put on.

You dried your hair as much as you could before brushing it out with a long toothed comb. There was some make up on the dresser as well, you touched it curiously. It definitely was old, the style, the smell. You decided to not put any on, scared of the chemicals it may have.

When you opened the door, you were in another room. A bedroom. You gasped, if you thought the bathroom was huge, this was gigantic. A big, red, plush bed in the middle, a fireplace from where you were exiting was lit, a long window on the right, and an even bigger dresser on the left. It was straight from a fairy tail.

Now you understood why the dress was so big, so grand; Because this entire mansion was lavish. You were given that dress to fit the aesthetic. You walked around the room, unsure if it was even the one you were temporarily given.

You made your way to the window, your hand touching the cold glass. You looked down, seeing the cage they ladies had told you to not look at. You saw the...beast...huddled in a corner, conserving it's warmth. You pouted, feeling bad for this pure black creature. It was hard to make it out, but it looked like it was enveloping itself in wings.

"That's a big ass bird," you mumble.

Knocking at the door startles you, turning your head to see who was opening the door. You relaxed when you saw one of the ladies who was attending to you in bath.

"Miss, it is time for- What! Oh no dear, that is not what you should be wearing," she promptly shuts the door, speed walking to you."This is completely unacceptable. If the Lord saw you think this..." she trails off. She hurries to the closet you hadn't noticed, swinging its doors open.

"Yeah sorry," you apologize, "I didn't think I would feel comfortable in that dress so I put this on instead." She ignored you, rummaging for something that you can wear.

"You will be in the presence of the Lord of this house, miss," her tone is clipped, "I understand you are not from here, but he is someone of power. I assume even a place where you're from would have someone power?"

She doesn't bother to wait for you answer, instead pulling a golden color dress out. It's doesn't look puffy at all, instead like an easy slip on. It glitters in the light, you notice a slightly deep v-line. The maid gently places it on the bed.

"Put this on miss. I will be outside your door, please dress quickly," and with that she leaves.

You take one more glance outside the window and make your way to the bed, reaching for the dress. It really is pretty, and it's long enough to have leg room, but not enough to have you trip. You nod, satisfied with this dress.

You slip into it, feet first. It goes over you easily, and you reach behind to tie it together. It proved harder than you thought and you struggle horribly. You pace around the room trying to lace the string though its holes, facing the window as if the scenery will help.

You let out a loud, frustrated groan. The bird in the cage jolts, and your eyes widen. Did it hear you? You watch as it lifts its head up, looking around until it meets your eyes. You gasp, looking into its black, human-like eyes. You stumble backwards with a hand covering your mouth, what was that?

"Miss?" The maid reappears, probably from hearing your frustration.

You close your eyes, your head is playing tricks on you. You're in an unfamiliar place and your brain in panicking, unsure of how to take in its surroundings. Plus the bird was far away, you could be mistaking things.

"My dress," you choke out, "I can't do the back."

Wordlessly, she goes behind you, tying the the back of the dress in a criss-cross manner. Your heartbeat is wild, loud in your ears and throat. You're suddenly remained of how utterly lost and alone you are, no longer interested in playing pretend. You sniff, tears softly falling down your face.

The maid notices this, she gently pats your shoulder. She turns you around and wipes your years with her thumb, smiling softly at you. "I'm so sorry that you are lost miss. Lord Lukas is a very powerful man and I'm sure he can help you. Do not fret please."

You nod, grateful for her encouraging words. "I just really wanna go home."

"And you will," she promised, "But I'm sure you're famished, let's eat first."

-

Lord Lukas was younger than you anticipated, less than 10 years younger than you. His parents died, leaving him with a massive fortune and to carry the legacy of being a monster hunter. He loved talking about himself, you had only managed to tell him your name and how you got lost.

If you shut off your brain, it was easy to accept that you had somehow teleported to a different world. You didn't want to think about it too much, how there must be millions of different worlds and millions of portals to them. You were the unlucky soul that stumbled upon one, and you needed to go to the right one to get home. See? Wasn't too hard to understand if you didn't think too much about it.

You poked at your food, your appetite was nonexistent. It looked good though, cooked meat with boiled veggies and unique looking rice. At least you think it's rice. The man siting across from the table was still stuck on how you ended up here. Portals were thought the be a myth, yet here you are.

"So you're just looking for a family?" He asks, shoving a broccoli in his mouth. "Yes, my family," you stress. You briefly met his eyes, they were a light green. He smiled.

"And you said you were near the sea when this happened?" You nod. He hums, "I've always wanted to visit the sea. I've only seen pictures and I think it's quite beautiful." "Yeah it's nice," you agree, "The sand gets annoying though.

He laughs softly. He leans forward, eyes going down to your cleavage. You grimace. It doesn't matter what title a man has, he will always be a pig.

"You smell like lavender," he notes, "I love that smell." You laugh awkwardly, "Uh, yeah the girls had good soap."

"So," he says, eyes never leaving yours, "you're with your family when you stumble in a cave, appear here with no idea of how, and now you're at my place, lost. Looking for refuge?"

"Yup, pretty much," you nod. "But I dont need...refuge. I just need to go back home. I don't know what being a monster hunter means, but you must know about fantasy things like that. I don't have money to give but I went to school and-"

He starts laughing, hysterically actually. The words in your throat get caught, and you're replaying what you said in your head to see what was so funny.

"Unbelievable! You're a a great jester I give you that," he says, wiping a tear from his eye. "You don't need to lie, sweetheart. I don't know who put you up to this trick, but it's quite admirable." He stands and walks around the table so he's behind you. You stiffen, head turning so he never leaves your sight. "What are you taking about?" You ask.

"Many know that I am without wife. I've heard the complaints of how they worry about who will carry the monster hunter title, about who will inherit my fortunes. You are lost? No family? With no way back?" He laughs again, "It's a very intricate plan, and I'm almost impressed with how well they know what I fancy most in a woman."

He leans down in you ear, breath disgustingly hot, "I suppose you're hungry for something else. Yes?"

His hand appears on your shoulder, trailing down to your breasts before you shove him off. You stand from your seat, chair falling from how forceful your movement was.

"The fuck?! Don't fucking touch me!" You yell. You grab a stake knife from the table and hold it, aimed at him. "I don't know who you are and I don't give a fuck! I'm not going to play dress up anymore, you sick fuck."

Lukas raises his eyebrows, surprised by your outburst. He smooths a hand over his face and smiles again, "Did they also tell you that I enjoy the chase? I love it when they fight back."

His words send a chill though your body, you nearly gag. "You're sick. Stay the fuck away from me."

His smile widens more, "And I just adore your accent, I wonder how it will sound when you submit to me."

You run with the knife in hand, choosing to go out the back door rather than the front. The sun is setting, giving the snow a pretty pink glaze color. You would admire it if you weren't being pursued. Lukas is fast behind you, but if you manage to make it though the clutter of trees, you might have a chance.

No one is outside, no one was at the dinner. Did he send them away so he could have you alone? Did he plan this out?

You yelp when you're tackled into the snow, face first. The knife falls out of your hand and you're left defenseless. He yanks your hair so your head is up, he presses a knee into your lower back. "You're a lot faster than I anticipated, but no matter."

You trash in his hold, but he only digs his knee deeper into you. You cry out in pain, hands scratching at what you can manage.

"Gosh you are so full of energy!" He exclaims. "Keep this up, you will tire in no time."

He maneuvers you so you lay on your back, but this gives you more room to kick and hit. You do manage to get a few good punches in, but he grabs the top of your head and slams you into the ground. Your head rings from the impact, a groan leaving you.

"You...dick..." you strain out, spitting salvia in his face. He puts all his weight on your stomach, hands gripping your throat. He lifts one of his hands and backhands you, you head harshly turning to the right. Then you see the cage, it's no less than 20 feet from you. The bird is still huddled in its corner, but its eyes peer to you. The poor animal has been out in this snow for who knows how long and it's still alive. For some reason, it gives you strength. Despite the tears in your eyes, you see the glint of you knife. Lukas's hands violently tear at the top of your dress, trying to rip it.

For a moment, just for a moment, he loses his grip on your throat. You take this opportunity to headbutt him right on the nose, and you hear a satisfying crunch when you do. His hand cradles his broken nose, and you strike him with the heel of your palm while he was stunned. You manage to get half his weight off you and you reach for the knife.

He sees this and grips your hair again, but it's too late, you've already grabbed it. You turn and stab him in the neck, surprised by how how hard it is to sink in. You pull the knife out and stab again hard, blood spraying on your face and fingers. He cries out, hands grasping yours to pull away. His eyes meet yours and you see it, fear. Genuine fear that makes the hair on your neck stand. With a cry you took the knife out and stab a third time, this time digging so deep your fingers could feel the insides of his throat.

He gurgles, blood pooling from his mouth and neck as he opens his mouth to speak, but you drop his body on the ground before he gets the chance to. You sob wrecks through you, you hadn't notice the tears running down your face until now. You were wailing, weeping from your dire situation and the dying body next to you. In the movies, they had died so quick, almost gracefully. But this was messy, blood was all over your dress, hands, the knife, the snow. His hands were weakly trying to cover his wounds, to stop the blood from flowing out.

You needed to get out of here, it was only a matter of time before they came looking for Lukas. Or his body at least.

You stand on your shaky legs, wiping your tears and keeping a steady hold on the knife. 'This isn't real," you tell yourself. "You're fine. You're alive. You'll be okay."

You look up and see that you facing the cage, but the bird is no longer hunched over. Though the cage is much too small for it to stand, it crouches eyes trained on you. It's no bird, not with a human body like that. Its skin is pale, nearly grey with a head a black hair. It's nails are inhumanly long, its feet shaped like a birds. It's wings are cramped, tightly tucked beneath its back. You could still see it's dark feathers, and the tail that swishes unsettling. It could pass for human if you ignored its pitch black eyes. You knew for sure it was a male, it wore no clothes despite having a similar male anatomy.

It looks like a nightmare, but more human than the corpse behind you. Its eyes look at you then the lock, signaling you on what it wants. Despite everything you laugh. This monster had seen you fight for your life and all it asks if you to free it.

"I don't have the keys," you say, though you know it can't understand you. Its eyes flicker to the man you killed, then to the lock, then at you. You shiver, it can understand you. You look behind you and shudder, you had killed someone.

"Are you serious?"

It doesn't respond, instead shifting anxiously in its cage. Who knows how long it's been in there, in the cold. You let out a sign, rubbing your face. You know you're smearing blood all over yourself, but you don't care.

You turn to the body, reaching for keys. You keep your eyes closed, instead feeling around for the item. Finally, you feel a bundle of metal in the pockets of the dead man, pulling them out. It's a hoop of keys that jingle in your hands, and the beast behind you clatters in excitement.

You stand and head to the cage, grabbing the lock. There must be around 10 rings on this key holder, and you're not sure how long it will take to try them all. The first one is a no go, no even fitting in the hole. The second one fits halfway, and no matter how deep you tried to shove it in, it just wouldn't go in.

The human-like monster inside the cage paces, obviously anxious about being free. You were trying the third one when you could hear shouting from the house.

"Where is the Lord?" "Shouldn't he be done by now?" "Go look for him!"

The beast and you lock eyes. You don't know if you have the time to open his cage, and he knows it. But the way it's looking at you, so much hope and pleading, you feel a pang of guilt.

"I'll keep trying okay? But don't expect me to get captured for you okay?" You go back to the task at hand, the third one did not fit. Your fingers start to go numb from the cold, it takes a while for you to fit the 4th key in. Though it manages to slide in, it doesn't turn.

"Fuck," you whisper, struggling to grab the fifth key. Then you hear the door swing open, and 4 men tumble out. "Hey!" One of the shouts, and you whimper. The beast gets close to your face, eyes never leaving you. It's a silent plea, just try one more key. You should go, you should run, but you don't.

You shakily shove the fifth key in, ignoring how close the sound of running is getting. It turns, and grants you a soft click! "Holy shit, it's op-"

You yelp, hair being yanked back from the cage. The man who has you hostage is angry, eyes bulging from his sockets as he regards you. "You whore! You damned heathen!" You throws you harshly on the snow, your fingers numbly try to grasp anything, but it's so hard to move them.

"Captain. He's dead," one man says, next to the body of your assaulter. While a 2 men attempt to revive the body, the other two draw their weapons. "You fool! Do you know what you've done?!" "A stupid whore like you could have never killed a man. Who were you with? What did you plan? Where is your-" The captain is cut off quickly by a screech.

You hear the slash of flesh, blood spreading on you. The captain stands as he clutches his stomach, entrails exposed to you. Before the man beside him can react, he's grabbed and yanked into the sky. Your eyes follow up, watching as the winged beast takes him high into the clouds before he dropped him. His body lands 10 feet away from you, a nasty sound emits as his body snaps.

You scream, covering your face and head to shield your eyes. You put yourself face down into the snow, trying to ignore the sound of men screaming and flesh tearing. Your body is shaking from fear rather than cold. You don't know what type of monster you let free from its cage, but it's certainly out for revenge.

Finally it stops, but you can't stop sobbing. You didn't want to kill anyone, you didn't want anyone else to die. You just wanted to go home. You wish you were taking those stupid fucking pictures instead of enduring this fantasy nightmare.

The sound of feet crunching gets your attention and it stops right in front of you. You slowly lift your head up, quieting your sobs as you recognize the bird-like feet in front of you. Your head keeps going up, finally seeing the beast stand bare in front of you. You sniff and stand, surprised by how tall it is. It's taller than any human man, that's for sure. You barely reach its torso, needing to look up to see its face.

It leans down, and you gasp when a snake like tongue darts out of its mouth. It tastes your face, touching he tears and blood that stain it. It puts its tongue away and swaps it for another, a much bigger and thicker one. You close your eyes as it licks your cheeks, collecting the saltiness. You let out soft whimpers while it cleans you, hand softly gripping your chin so it can tilt your face in his direction. When he's satisfied, he grabs your hands. He brings them to his face and he licks your fingers, drinking the dried blood on them. It purrs at the taste, greedily taking it all.

Once he's done you open your eyes, gently pulling away from him. Its wings spread out from him, larger than any bird you've ever seen. Each wing is longer than his height, covered in dark feathers. You take a step back, finally looking at him at his full height. He still looks like a nightmare yes, but so beautifully scary.

"I need to get home," is all you say. You know it can understand you, perhaps it was trained by humans. "I don't know where I am or when I am? Oh god what am I even saying." You bury your face in your hands. You're going to cry again.

A gentle hand finds your shoulder, another gently pats your head. "You will be okay, human." You gasp at its voice. It's so deep and slightly scratchy, as if he hasn't spoken in a long time. You look up at it, mouth agape. "You can speak?" You muster.

It's face does not change, only giving you a simple nod. "You will be fine, but first we must leave. You have killed a Lord, and I his guards. You will be safe, but not here. Come."

It reaches its clawed hand at you, waiting for you to take it. You look at the hand then at the house. Should you trust this creature and leave with it? Or go back the way you came in a place you're completely unfamiliar with? A rock and a hard place.

You look at it in the eyes, searching for any indication of what it wants, but it just stares back. You notice you can see some white of its eyes, his pupils must expand exponentially when he's full of adrenaline.

You let out a shaky breath and grab his hand, "Guess we should go then."

a/n: this is the first chapter! this story is still in the works but I think im on the last chapter! ill post the second chapter tmr or something

[multi-fxndom446]

Say don’t go

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley X Reader

Summary: simon hates how far you dug yourself into his life. He really doesn’t.

Warning: kinda angsty with fluff ending, kinda toxic Simon but it’s really just him being bad at emotions, probably ooc I’m sorry, sleeping problems.

Word count: 3.9K

I know I’m late on this I apologize 😗 I had work and then I fell asleep I’m not even gonna lie.

I genuinely can’t tell if I love or hate this piece so I really hope you guys like it either way.

This is his part two to his ‘you came? You called.’ scenario that I will link {{here}}

This would honestly make more sense if you read that first.

~~~

When you first came into his life you were really nothing more than an acquaintance. He knew of you because he knew almost everyone on base but you..you just came into his life like you knew you were the missing piece to his puzzle.

The first day he finally met you, you sat yourself down at the table he was sharing with Gaz and Soap in the back of the cafeteria. Both men instantly shutting up as they watched Simon turn to stare at you after glancing around the room to see if this was the only empty seat. It wasn’t.

“Morning!” You smiled and went about eating your food not saying another word. So he didn’t either.

Then suddenly you were just there.

In meetings, at meals, at training you were always there right beside him. It was like you sought him out because one minute he’d enter a room unnoticed and be standing in the corner alone when suddenly you were right next to him when only a minute ago you were clear across the room talking to some soldiers on your squad.

You never really spoke to him unless he spoke to you but you made sure he felt your presence. Especially when you’d offer nightly to help him with paperwork, he thinks it’s because you caught onto the fact he opens up a little more when you’re alone.

Suddenly, he couldn’t see his life without you now. Without your quiet support. But sometimes it was to much, he felt like he was being crowded and he remembered the first night he finally snapped at you for it. The first of many more times he’d push you away.

And it worked. You gave him space. You stuck with your own friends and only offered him a smile in passing. He hated it.

He hated that he started to like you and your presence. He hated that you made him like you so easily when Soap worked hard to finally get close to him.

He hated that he couldn’t even blame you for how he felt. You didn’t know the effect you were having on him. You didn’t know that he started searching for you in every room or that he hated seeing how the other soldiers looked and spoke to you.

He didn’t know why it boiled his blood to see so many of them stare at you like you were a piece of meat or why when he heard the way they flirted with you it made him want to strangle them.

After the first week of you giving him space, he gave in after he couldn’t take seeing the soldiers all over you again.

He couldn’t help but feel a little smug when he noticed that those men didn’t talk to you as much when they saw you were always next to the scary lieutenant with a skull mask.

Simon learned about you this time around. He found himself drawn to the kind of person you were and he wanted to know more. So on those late nights where you helped him in his office, he’d ask you questions which you were more than happy to answer. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to have an actual conversation with the man.

You told him about your life, family, friends, past missions you’ve been on and in turn he told you some of his experiences even if he didn’t divulge all the details.

As the night dragged on with shared stories and secrets he had learned that you never slept very well and that’s why you never minded staying up late to help him.

It was this reason alone that he wasn’t entirely shocked when one night you showed up at his door at some god awful hour of the night almost on the verge of tears after not having slept for 3 days.

He let you in immediately and let you get comfortable, handing you the hoodie that would end up becoming your favorite when he noticed you were cold.

He tried to give you the bed that night but you all but yanked him into the bed with you and curled yourself into his side while he laid there stiff as a board. He counted the seconds ticking by almost waiting for you to admit this wasn’t going to help you sleep either until he heard your soft even breathes and he dared to glance at you.

You were sound asleep and Simon was terrified to move. But after laying there for almost two hours the sound of your breathing eventually lulled him to sleep and he’d never admit it was some of the best sleep he’d gotten.

By the time the sunlight started to seep into his room, you were gone and he almost wondered if he dreamt the whole thing before he noticed the hoodie he lent you was long gone as well. He would find it when he finally went to the cafeteria that morning and saw you wearing it as you spoke with the other soldiers.

And so began the long months of his back and forth. Of his hot and cold, tiptoeing the line between wanting to make you only his and not wanting to burden you with him and his life.

He tried often to keep you at a distance, to push you away but you never seemed to let him get very far because any time he yelled about wanting space he would find you at his door, in his hoodie ready to sleep in his arms and he suddenly couldn’t remember why he wanted space.

It wasn’t like he really did want you to leave anyways. He wanted you with him always but when he could see the way others made you laugh in a way he couldn’t or the way some of those soldiers still had the balls to flirt with you while he loomed behind you. He wished he could just do that but it wasn’t like him to do any of that. So he kept things between you private and outside the hoodie there was no other sign you and he were involved in any sort of way.

You always respected his wishes and kept whatever you had going on private but on some nights where you genuinely thought he wanted you gone you would stay gone and end up finding him at your door when you didn’t come to him at the usual time.

It wasn’t healthy. You knew that and so did he but neither of you could seem to care when it got to the end of the day. None of it mattered when you were behind closed doors and there would be sweet nothings whispered and lips ghosting each other when he felt like lifting his mask just enough.

You knew what you wanted, you never tiptoed the line. You just waited for him to realize that he wanted you no matter what too.

But When Simon broke things off for the final time you wanted to say you were shocked but in truth you weren’t.

The nights leading up to it there were more arguments and more avoided glances in the mornings. He’d keep his distance in every situation and on some nights he even locked his door to prevent you from coming in.

It was heartbreaking. And you didn’t even know why he was doing this.

You didn’t even know that he was hurting just as much as you were. It killed him in every way to see that the way he was treating you was tearing you down slowly.

The boiling point finally came when you were assigned to work with Soap on a mission. It came as a little bit of a surprise for everybody until price explained that you were moving up in the team and he wanted you trained to start going on missions with the 141.

He was truly happy for you for moving up in your career but at the same time he hated how this allowed you and Soap to get closer. He hated the way his Scottish friend could speak to you so freely, how he could hug you out of no where and not have a care in the world.

Simon wasn’t an insecure man.

He knew that.

In fact he knew he may even be a little to full of himself. He knew he was an attractive man, mask or not. He knew women who would love a chance with him but he never cared to entertain them. So he definitely didn’t care that Soap would flirt with you jokingly all the time.

What he did hate was how happy you seemed to be when you talked to him. How open and yourself you seemed when you would be passing jokes back and forth.

He couldn’t help but watch it unfold over time. The way you lit up whenever Johnny would say something, the way your smile widened at some stupid joke he attempted.

Simon couldn’t help but think about how Johnny was the one you should be with. He knew for a fact Johnny wouldn’t tiptoe this stupid line he drew he knew he wouldn’t hide the fact he cares for you or try to push you away when he felt like you deserved better.

He started to wonder if you were falling for his Scottish friend but every night he would be reminded how much more you loved him. He felt unworthy of it. Unworthy of the way you would look at him with all the adoration in the world, unworthy of the way your soft lips would always come so close to his as you whispered to him late in the night. He felt unworthy of the way he could tell when you smiled at him it was completely different from the way you smiled at anyone else.

It was a smile that was reserved for him and him alone.

He knew that.

But as he was forced to watch you and Johnny interact on a daily as you got ready for your mission, his own judgment was getting clouded by the way he thought you would be happier with Johnny.

You both were such a forced to be reckoned with. Both of you shared a warmth that drew people in, like a moth to a flame. He wondered how he’d never seen how perfect you were for each other before..a little to perfect.

You and Johnny were a little to similar and it’s what made you such good friends but both of you knew nothing more would ever happen. He knew your heart belonged to someone else and he wasn’t looking for anything to begin with. But Simon was blinded.

He broke it off with you only a few days after your mission with Soap. Every night for a least a week he would hear you come to his door and knock gently but it went ignored.

“Simon can we please talk about this?” He heard you whisper on the final night. His heart breaking from how emotionally exhausted you sounded. “I don’t know what I did. Did I do something wrong?”

He got up quietly and walked to the door and stood just right there. If he reached out even just a little he could reach the handle and swing open the door. But he refrained.

He heard you sigh before there was rustling on your side. When it got quiet again he could practically feel the way your head leaned against the door. “I’m sorry. I only ever wanted to be with you.” Then you were gone and his head fell against the door with a soft thud.

He waited until he knew you were long gone before he opened the door. There on the floor, folded neatly was his hoodie that you took from him all those months ago.

Picking it up, he held it close to him. It smelled like you now. When he closed his door and was left in cold silence once again he hung the hoodie up and didn’t touch it again until you called for him almost a month later.

The days passed by as they always did before you were in his life. Uneventful. He trained, ate, did paperwork then slept but he quickly learned how much he hated sleeping alone.

The bed felt colder without you curled up next to him. It felt lonelier without your hand tracing over his arm softly or playing with his fingers as you spoke quietly in the night.

He missed you and he hated how much he was letting this affect him.

“I don think she’s sleepin’” Johnny mentioned one night and Simon followed his line of sight to see you making your way into the cafeteria. “She looks like shite.”

He wasn’t wrong. The flame that you had, seemed like it dwindled extensively. The circles under your eyes seemed darker and the weak smile you gave your friends didn’t convince anyone but you looked like you were beyond caring.

One of your friends rubbed your shoulder soothingly while your eyes scanned the room as if you could feel him watching you. The millisecond it took for your eyes to connect he was already looking away and turning back to Johnny.

It was the first time since it ended that you sought him out again. For the most part you kept to yourself, never looked for him anymore and went about your day but it seemed the lack of sleep was catching up to you.

“What the hell happened between you two L.T.?” Johnny muttered as he leaned closer. “Don’t tell me some fuckin shite about not knowing. She talked about you all the time so I know something happened.”

Simon didn’t let show how much that comment took him off guard. He didn’t realize you talked about him so much and to soap of all people.

“Eat your food Johnny.” He grumbled instead unable to look him in the eye.

“Well I’m just worried bout ‘er.” He muttered while he did what he was told and started eating again. “I don’t know how well she can handle the mission tomorrow with the way she looks.”

Simon looked up at that. “What mission?”

“You don’t know? Price is sending her out on her own. Supposed to be a short mission but she looks like a walking skeleton already.” Johnny glanced in your direction before going quiet.

Johnny didn’t even get a chance to say anything else before Simon was already on his feet and half way out of the room on his way to see Price.

The captain was standing at his desk when Simon all but slammed open his door, eyes narrowed. “Simon, I was expecting you.” Price said nonchalantly as he went back to looking at his papers. “Tea?”

“No I don’t want your bloody tea.” He spat out, closing the door behind him but the captain didn’t look up even when Simon was standing right in front of his desk.

“Then what can I help you with?” He asked it like he already knew and Simon supposed out of anyone besides Johnny, he probably did. “Does it have anything to do with a mission taking place tomorrow?” Price finally looked up to meet his gaze head on.

“Send me with her.”

“Simon-“

“Send. Me. With. Her.”

A tense silence filled the air while the two men stared each other down before price shook his head softly. “No.”

“No? Price this could be a dangerous mission.” But the captain no longer seemed to be listening. “Sir she’s in no condition to go on a mission.”

“Is that the real reason you came here? To talk about her wellbeing?” Simon went silent at the look Price leveled him with. “Do you not trust her?”

“Of course I do-“

“Do you not trust that she is a good soldier that can get the job done?”

“Yes but-“

“Then this conversation is finished. She leaves early tomorrow morning so I suggest you get yourself together Simon.” Price was glaring at him like a father scolding his son. Like he knew Simon was the reason you weren’t doing amazingly.

“What is it for?” He finally asked, fists clenched at his sides while he resisted the urge to sit there and demand he go on this mission.

Price shook his head. “You know I can’t tell you that.”

“Just tell me if this is a suicide mission.” His jaw clenched painfully as he tried to keep his eyes clear of emotion. “Please.”

“Simon.” Price sighed in slight frustration. “She’s only going in for some intel. She’ll be fine.”

Simon nodded stiffly after a moment and as he was turning to leave Price called out to him. “I’d at least talk with her before she leaves Simon.”

He didn’t acknowledge that he heard him, just continued out the door and mindlessly walked the rest of the way to his room where he would be for the next coming hours.

Hours later He could hear the moment everyone was starting to head to bed. It was well into the night by now and he knew that but he couldn’t sleep. His mind was racing with thoughts of you. He hated himself for how much pain he’s put you through.

He reached for his phone and immediately went to your contact. His thumb hovered over the call button but he never pressed it. He never got the chance to because in the next second his phone started vibrating and your name appeared.

The shock lasted for the first rings before he answered it but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He didn’t want to hurt you more but he could hear it, the desperation, the love you still held for him even after everything.

He knew then just exactly what he wanted.

So The moment you confessed to him that you couldn’t sleep without him, he was already sitting up in bed getting his shoes on.

The moment you realized he wasn’t going to verbally answer you and you hung up he was already halfway to your room. Wearing your favorite hoodie of his.

The moment you opened the door and your eyes met and your voice called his name softly, his entire body just wanted to kneel to the floor in front of you and beg for forgiveness.

The moment he had you cradled in his arms and had you whispering that you missed him he felt whatever resolve he had, built up in the time apart, crumble.

He couldn’t believe just how far you dug yourself into his heart until he finally felt you against him after not speaking for so long. It was his fault, he knew that. He knew he was the one who broke whatever was going on off.

He knew he was the reason there never was an official relationship to break off in the first place. Just a line drawn that you both kept tiptoeing the day you met, never crossing the boundary of being friends or more.

And as he laid there, carding his fingers softly through your hair the way he knew you liked, he couldn’t help but think about the moment that got him into this mess. Sometimes he wished he turned you away more. Or at least kept his distance better.

But it didn’t matter now.

Simon didn’t want to go to sleep, not when he was enjoying watching you breathe softly as you curled yourself further against him.

He considered the fact that he should leave, let you sleep and not wake up to the reality that he was in bed with you again, a reality he was sure you would regret when you were more alert again.

But as he moved to try and slowly get off the bed you were suddenly wide awake and grabbing onto his arm. “Why are you leaving?” Your voice was groggy but he could hear the hint of fear and hurt in it at his actions. “Do you hate me that much?”

“What? Hate you?” Immediately he relaxed back into his spot and looked you straight in the eyes. How could you ever think he hated you? “I don’t hate you.”

“Then please,” your eyes were pleading with him. “Please don’t go.” The weight of your words settled on his heart and it felt like you were asking him for more than just to simply help you sleep.

A tense silence settled over the two of you as you practically stared into his soul. He opened his mouth to relent when you spoke again. “I love you Simon.”

He felt his breathing go completely still. Your words sounded like you couldn’t hold them to yourself any longer. “I’ve loved you since the first week we met. Even when you pushed me away, even when I wanted to kill you. I’ve loved you.” The more you talked the more he was sure his heart wouldn’t start again.

He could feel the moment when you started pulling away from him after he took too long to respond. He could feel you slipping through his fingers again and he couldn’t let it happen again not this time.

In an instant one of his arms wrapped around you and pulled you tightly against him while the other went to his mask and pulled it off.

He didn’t give you the chance to even take him in before he was pulling you to him, his lips landing on yours in a desperate first kiss.

A kiss that flooded you with every emotion he was withholding from you this whole time. A kiss that he had been wanting to feel ever since the first time he felt your lips ghost his.

The hand that was on your back moved to grip your hip as he sat up just slightly to kiss you harder. The hand holding his mask went to rest beside your head so he could hold himself better while he felt your hands everywhere like you were exploring something for the first time. Which you were.

Your hands were in his hair, dragging down his cheeks and jaw before gripping his neck to pull him impossibly closer. Only breaking when you ran out of breathe but he didn’t move far.

You stared at him, gasping in breathes while he looked at you like it was the first time all over again. “I love you too. I’m sorry for ever making you feel like I didn’t. I always have.” He said it softly like he was making sure only you would ever hear those words leave his mouth.

You smiled gently and brought him in for a softer kiss before he muttered against them, “come back to me tomorrow yeah?” You could only nod as he gave you one more kiss before falling back onto his side and pulling you into him.

His mask long gone on the floor and his heart content when you buried your face in his neck, sighing happily.

And true to your promise, you came straight back to him after your mission a few days later.

~~

Really hope yall liked this🙏🏻😭

Also! Johnnys part two next and I’ve made the executive decision that Rudy is coming after that 😋

[bruisedboys]

james potter x shy!reader (fem)

summary: you tell james you love him for the first time. fluff, established relationship

900 words

“You’re fidgeting.”

You’d been caught. You immediately stopped your absent-minded knee bouncing and released your lip from between your teeth, turning to face James like a deer in headlights.

“Am not,” you said guiltily.

James huffed. He’d been watching you for longer than he’d like to admit. Your eyes were glued to the TV screen but he could tell you weren’t really watching. You’d been switching between biting your nails and bouncing your knee for the past twenty minutes.

“Liar,” James accused, voice all airy and teasing. He reached across the sofa to poke you in the side. “You are such a bad liar, sweetheart.”

You flushed. His tone made your knees weak. You were sure he knew it, you could tell by the dazzling grin on his face when you shoved at his poking hands.

“But seriously,” James said, his teasing tone gone. “What’s up?”

He was using that voice again, the one he used when he wanted something from you. All kind and soft and sticky.

You hated him.

You opened your mouth and went to say something but nothing came out. James’ forehead creased with worry and he reached for the TV remote, muting the movie you had on before shuffling close to you, thighs touching.

“Hey.” He nudged you with his elbow, and when you turned to face him he was looking down at you with those pretty brown eyes. “Tell me what’s up, hm?”

Didn’t he know he was making this harder? With his stupid curls falling over his forehead and his perfect eyes reflecting the TV’s glare? You wanted to run away, maybe curl up in a ball forever because he was looking at you with so much fondness you almost cried.

You looked away, cleared your throat, trailed your fingers down his forearm to toy with his leather bracelet. You could feel him watching you, like his eyes were burning holes into the side of your head.

“I’ve just been wanting to tell you something,” you finally admitted. You said it all in one breath and your voice went up at the end like it was a question.

“Okay … “ Though James thought your shyness was cute, he was a little suspicious. Had you suddenly decided you hated him? He racked his brains, trying to think of a time he’d done something to upset you but came up empty-handed. “What is it?”

To James’ surprise you reached into your pocket and pulled out a small folded piece of paper. “Um … I wrote it down because … well, because I’m nervous.“

You laughed at yourself condescendingly. James would’ve scolded you for it but he was too busy being worried you were about to break up with him.

“Here.” You wouldn’t meet him in the eye as you handed it to him. Your palms were sweating and your heart was racing.

For your sake, James tried not to look too distressed as he unfolded the paper. But when he saw the three words scrawled in purple marker and your handwriting, all his worries flew out the window and his heart soared.

I love you

James beamed. He was sure he’d never been this happy in his life. Of course, he kind of already knew you loved him. But he didn’t ever want to rush you into anything, and he was content with letting you do all the scary relationship things when you were ready to do them.

He’d said it a handful of times, mostly over the phone after which he hung up quickly enough so that you didn’t have to think about whether you’d say it back or not. This felt like a huge milestone, especially since ten seconds ago James thought he was being dumped. He couldn’t be happier. Unless …

“Say it out loud,” James said quietly, almost pleadingly. “If you want to. Please?”

You drew your gaze away from your clammy hands, which you’d been wringing nervously ever since handing James the note. You met his eyes — he was looking at you with all the fondness in the world … how could you say no to that?

You swallowed, wiped your palms on your jeans.

“I love you,” you said, so quietly that if James hadn’t been clinging on to your every word, he probably wouldn’t have heard you.

The smile on James’ face made it all worth while. He beamed so big you were worried it hurt his pretty freckled cheeks.

“I love you too, sweet girl.” James lifted one hand to touch your face, palm cupping your jaw while his fingertips hooked behind your ear. His skin was so warm on yours, you tried not to melt into a puddle in his hands. “V’been waiting for this day my whole life.”

You laughed, because you’d only been together a few months. Though to be fair, it felt like it’d been forever for you, too.

One of your hands found James’ free one, fingers locking like jigsaw pieces.

“You’re the cheesiest person I’ve ever met,” you whined, but you both knew it wasn’t really a complaint.

James grinned like he was proud of it. Soft laughter filled the space between your lips until it was nothing. He kissed you, and then kissed you again, and then kissed you again.

He could’ve kept going forever but he didn’t want to fluster you — heaven forbid that. Besides, you were flustered enough for his liking already, your cheeks hot as he pecked them both before pulling away.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

[tellmealovestory]

Apple Cider

Summary: First dates are supposed to be fun. So why's this one such a disaster?

Warnings: 3k words of second hand embarrassment and an awkward reader and Eddie.

Spooktober Masterlist

“You’re being a dingus. Ask her out already or I will,” Robin threatens as she flips through a magazine she’s barely interested in, but it’s better than watching you and Eddie steal glances at each other across the store. 

Eddie leans his elbows on the counter, head hanging in his hands as he sighs. “Not that simple. She could say no. She could already have a boyfriend. She could think-”

“That you're a creep coming in here every day staring at her and not saying a word to her?” Robin asks unhelpfully as she glances up from her magazine just long enough to catch the glare Eddie is giving her. 

Halfway across the store as you’re trying to help a nasally voiced man pick out a selection of movies you can hear their conversation. Neither one of them understands the definition of indoor voices or private conversations and if you weren’t so polite or so afraid of talking to Eddie for fear of making an idiot out of yourself you’d tell them to shut up. 

This is a place of work after all. Sure, the store is empty save for the four of you, but that’s not the point. Your lack of a dating life isn’t up for discussion in front of strangers or your crush. 

“I guess this will do,” the man says as if he’s disappointed you couldn’t be more help trying to find a movie that was scary, but not too scary, but that had a little bit of gore, but not so much gore it would make his date queasy, but it also had to be recent, nothing old or black and white. 

While he carries his selections up to the counter and Robin checks out the movies for him you pretend to busy yourself with straightening the vhs cases while occasionally glancing over at Eddie still hanging around the counter.

The bell over the door rings signaling his exit and when no one else comes in Robin calls you over. Your throat is drier than sandpaper and your feet feel like they’re encased in blocks of cement as you slowly make your way to the counter. 

“Dingus here wants to ask you, but he’s too scared to, so I'm doing it for him.”

“Robin,” Eddie seethes with anger as your own voice melds with him chastising her for this inappropriate behavior. 

“What?” she asks, not having the gall to look the slightest bit embarrassed despite Eddie’s pink cheeks and your refusal to look at either of them instead choosing to stare down at your shoes which suddenly look interesting to you. “Eddie the dingus here will pick you up tomorrow after your shift. You guys can go to the fall carnival and I don’t know trying talking to each other for once.”

“Robin,” you start, voice shaking as you dare a few peeks at Eddie through your lashes. He looks just as mortified as you do at this new development. “You can’t just… you can’t do something like that.” 

Eddie’s heart sinks to his stomach when he catches you flinching and he naturally assumes it’s because you don’t actually like him because after all why would the town sweetheart go for someone like the town freak? 

Robin waves away your concerns, shoos Eddie out the door, but not before yelling at him what time your shift is over. 

He stays on your mind for the rest of the day and night and even into the next day. When your shift ends and he still hasn’t arrived to pick you up for the date Robin arranged you figure he’s not showing. A mix of disappointment and anger settle in the pit of your stomach and as you slip your vest off and grab your purse beneath the counter the bell over the door jingles and Robin is whistling lowly. 

You figure it’s just Steve so you don’t bother to look up as you root around for your car keys. She nudges you and says in a too loud whisper because she still doesn’t know what indoor voices mean, “loverboy is here.” 

You glance up and true to her word there stands Eddie, hands shoved deep in his pockets, black tee shirt and jean jacket on, unruly hair pulled back into a low bun, cheeks flushed and sheepish smile on his face.

Instantly, you regret cursing him out in your mind for thinking he wasn’t going to show. Sure, he was a little late, but he did show up and now that he’s here, standing on the other side of the counter watching you it’s like you’ve forgotten every word you’ve ever known. 

Robin leans her elbow on the counter watching you too and she can’t help but shove you towards him. Her push is harder and you stumble, having to catch yourself on the counter so you don’t stumble into him like a bowling ball hitting a set of pins. 

“Have fun you two!” She shouts, “and remember, talk to each other!” 

Once outside in the warm sunshine you finally find the words to speak, but when you do your voice is soft and you’re worried he can’t hear you. “I’m so sorry about her. We don’t have to do this. Go to the carnival. Or even out. I mean… I know she kind of pushed you into this…” 

“No,” he says quickly, finally pulling his hands out of his pockets. He plays with his keys, jingling them as the silver glints in the bright sunshine. “I want to. Less you don’t want to.” 

“No!” Your shout of no is even quicker and louder than his and you duck your head down in embarrassment before repeating the word again, softer this time while assuring him you want this. Turning your head to the side and over your shoulder you see Robin joined with Steve now standing at the  window of Family Video mouthing what you think are the words ‘go’ and ‘talk’ while Robin points to the van and Steve is making kissing faces.

Eddie smiles and it helps to ease a little bit of your nerves of whatever this is, a first date, a hang out, a friendly trip to the fall carnival. “You uh wanna go then?” He lifts the keys up and jingles them again and when you nod your head you’re surprised to find him opening the passenger door van for you. It’s such a simple and kind gesture, but it sends your heart galloping and your feelings for him to intensify. 

He slides into the van and starts it up and your ears nearly burst with how loud he has the music playing. “Shit, shit, shit, sorry, I know it’s loud,” he mutters as if he can read your mind. His long fingers are fumbling over the buttons on the stereo and instead of turning the volume knob down he cranks it up even louder as the banging of drums and cymbals clashes like you’re sitting front row at a metal concert. “Fuck.” He jabs the on/off button and you’re plunged into total silence save for the sound of his heavy breathing.

He offers another apology as he scrubs a hand over his face and mutters, “maybe we’ll just keep that off, yeah?” 

You giggle and tell him sure because truthfully his music taste isn’t the same as yours and you’re hoping that in the silence you can take Robin’s advice and talk.

But the drive to the festival is silent save for a few curses from Eddie when someone cuts him off in traffic and then again when he takes a wrong turn to the grounds and ends up on a muddy road that he nearly gets the vans tires stuck in. 

Once he manages to get where he’s supposed to and parks he opens your door again and your heart picks back up that happy rhythm it had when he did it the first time.

Beginning a leisurely stroll towards the entrance gate there’s enough space between your bodies to have another couple standing between you. For the life of you you aren’t sure how close you’re supposed to stand to him and something so simple that most people don’t think about shouldn’t be stressing you out this much. Stand close enough to hold hands? To have his jean jacket rubbing against your soft sweater? To have his arm slung around your shoulders? Why is it so complicated? 

While your mind is turning over that question your other senses become overwhelmed when you enter the festival grounds. Screams are emitted from some of the carnival rides, couples and families walk around with oversized teddy bears in their arms, kids run around playing tag. And the smells. Oh, the smells are enough to make your mouth water and your stomach to grumble.

Corn on the cob is being sizzled to perfection on grills. Cinnamon and apples and every deep fried food imaginable is being cooked to perfection from red and white striped tents. Hamburgers and brats are being served to hungry customers and you even smell what you think are greasy onion rings and french fries.

There’s a little something for everyone here. 

Booths with lines around the corner for face paintings and a fortune teller, a big wooden barrel where a few people are bobbing for apples, balloon dart games, even a few businesses handing out cards and offering promotions. 

“Have you ever been here before?” you ask, eyes scanning and trying to take everything in.

“Naw. Not really my scene,” he says with a simple shrug of his shoulders, but when he sees your face fall he silently curses himself for saying something so stupid. “But uh I’m glad to be here with you.” 

It sounds forced to your ears and you’re about to tell him that you can leave, go find something else to do or maybe just call this a day because nothing seems to be working out. 

Instead of doing that though you continue the walk through checking out the booths and the rides and because it’s more crowded here than in the parking lot you’re both forced a little closer together. Each time his arm or elbow or leg brushes up against yours you get a little jolt of electricity that you try to tamp down because you’re still not sure if he even likes you or wants to be here with you. 

A group of rowdy kids screams red rover as they barrel into you causing you to stumble and nearly trip a few feet in front of Eddie. Not your finest move, but at least you didn’t fall flat on your face. 

He touches your shoulder gently and when you turn around his eyes are wide, cheeks flushed a little deeper pink, reminiscent of a gorgeous summer sunset and when he drops his hand he starts gesturing to your body. You glance down and don’t see any dirt or food on the front of your skirt and sweater, but his hand gestures are growing more urgent, lowering down and you still have no clue what he’s trying to tell you. 

“You uh… those kids…” he swallows thickly before just blurting it out. “You’ve got some cotton candy uh behind you.” 

It takes your brain a few seconds to figure out what he’s trying to tell you, but when you slide your hands down your lower back and to your butt your fingers come away with sticky pastel cotton candy. “Oh my god,” you whisper as your cheeks heat up and you frantically try to push it all away, but it’s so much stickier than when you remember as a kid and it seems like with each sweep of your fingers and hands all you’re doing is creating a bigger mess.

You don’t want to, but you slowly turn around so your back is to him and glance over your shoulder. “Is it all gone?” 

His knitted eyebrows and mouth turn down into a frown that tells you no, not exactly. 

“Can I uh? Do you mind?” Again with the hand gestures. His silver rings glint in the sunshine and you nod your head. The first touch of his hands against your lower ass makes you jump and flinch and he steps back, hands in the air in surrender and once again you’re feeling stupid and naive. 

“Sorry, sorry,” you say quickly, head hanging down, wondering if you should tell him this is your first date and you’ve barely even kissed a guy so it’s just a little strange for one to be brushing your ass. 

There’s a food vendor a few feet away and you stomp over to grab probably more napkins than you need as you try to rub at the sticky mess, but you’re only spreading it wider and you’re close to tears because seriously how much worse can this day get before you shove a wad in his hands. “Can you help, please?” 

“Yeah, yeah, just uh, hold still, kay?” This time you’re more prepared for his touches. They’re gentle, methodical and though it’s not perfect he’s managed to pick off most of the cotton candy. With your back still turned to him you quickly wipe at your eyes as he tosses the napkins in the garbage. 

You resume your walking in silence with a few stolen glances here and there, a few times you both get jostled together by impatient people frustrated at your slow pace. 

Stopping in front of a drink tent your mouth waters when you inhale the spice of cinnamon and apples. Reaching in your purse for your wallet Eddie beats you to it, grabbing his own as he pays for two cups of piping hot cider. 

“You didn’t have to-” 

“I don’t mind-”

You’re both trying to talk over one another and it’s not working and so you give up, choosing instead to offer him a small smile as thank you. 

The paper cup is hot against your palms, but it still feels nice against the slight chill that’s entered the air. There’s an empty bench up ahead and Eddie nods his head towards it and you agree. Glancing down at the seat to make sure there’s nothing else that can be spilled on your outfit you perch on the edge, blow on the cider before taking a slow sip as you let out a quiet moan. 

Eddie nearly chokes on his own sip when he hears you because he was not expecting that to come out of your mouth and now that he has he can’t stop staring at you and jesus Robin was right he’s being a downright creep. It’s a miracle you agreed to this set up. 

For a few moments you both bask in each other's company and in the festivities that are going on around you, but it doesn’t take long for even this peaceful moment to be broken by the buzzing of a wasp. 

“Shit,” Eddie mutters. He’s not scared of too many things, but wasps? Fuck those devil monsters. He swats it away, but it’s still buzzing around first by his cup of apple cider and then closer to yours. You don’t notice it and when you lift the cup up to your mouth he acts first, thinks later. 

His large hand swats the cup out of your hand, still hot cider splashing down around by your feet, the cup yards away from you. You’re shocked, mouth hanging open, eyes blinking dumbly at him and as if to somehow make up for what he just did or because he’s an awkward idiot who’s hopeless around pretty girls he also throws his cup to the ground. 

The wasp that had been buzzing around you both is now distracted by the spilled sugary drink and it’s then that you notice it, but that still doesn’t explain his behavior and the silence is stretching on and oh my god how much worse could this date get? 

“Sorry,” he mutters and he at least has the decency to look a little embarrassed for tossing your drinks to the ground. “Wasps scare the shit out of me.” He ends it with a little chuckle and despite how awful the day has been you’re soon joining in and giggling with him as you hang your head in your hands. 

“They scare me too,” you admit softly before adding, “I didn’t even see it. Or hear it. And to think I almost drank it!” You give a little shudder at just how close that thing was to your mouth and sure, maybe it was a little dramatic the way Eddie chose to deal with it, but given the way your day has been going it fits in. 

“Naw, I’d never have let you drink it,” he says, giving you a lopsided smile and for a few seconds you think maybe this could be salvaged, but when the damn demon wasp finishes with the spilled cider it makes another go at the two of you and Eddie is quick to jump up with you following his lead as you make another loop around the carnival grounds.

Tugging at the sleeve of your sweater you sigh and glance at him. “Maybe that’s a sign we should cut this date short.” You don’t want to, but nothing seems to be going right and as your words hang in the air you realize what you just said and you’re staring at him with an open mouth and wide eyes as you try to clarify. “Not that… I mean I’m not sure this was even a date? I know it was kind of forced on us and I guess I always thought that a first date was supposed to be nice and not one disaster after another. It’s been memorable though.”

“I’d call it a date,” he says, giving you an easy smile. “Right? Always hoped I’d be more smooth with the ladies, but I guess that didn’t happen today.” He looks so different now, shoulders relaxed, another smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“You were a complete gentleman, Eddie.” 

“Even when I was touching your a-”

You don’t give him a chance to finish that sentence as your cheeks burn hot and you giggle. “Yes, even then.” 

A few more minutes pass with a silence that’s not nearly as awkward as it was at the beginning of the day. And this time when he speaks you can practically hear the smile in his voice. 

“So we both agree this was a date?” He doesn’t give you time to stumble and stutter or apologize your way through a response before he’s talking again, this time it’s a little slower and the smile isn’t as prominent in his words. “That mean you, uh maybe wanna try this again another time?” 

Your heart swells and balloons and you can’t keep the smile off your face no matter how hard you try and you don’t want to appear too eager and scare him off, but if nothing about today has scared him off you don’t think this will either as you all but shout out a yes please. 

Eddie can’t quite believe his ears when you agree so quickly and he wants to pinch himself because there’s a part of him that still believes after the disaster of today you’d want a redo, but the smile on your face and your bright eyes indicate otherwise. His fingers inch a little closer to yours in front of the merry go round, but he doesn’t try to grab your hand, not yet at least, instead he lets his fingers rest next to yours as you both watch the happy couples and families enjoy the fair while he plots out what he hopes is a better second date. 

A/N: If you enjoyed reading about these two they'll be back in Hayride!

[zeyris-daydreams]

Three times the charm ! 🐳

[Childe x reader]

In which Childe hunts his highschool sweetheart. Or in which you unknowingly were held captive by a harbinger.

Warnings: mentions of past sex, kidnapping, stalking, threats of murder, no actual murder, use of name Ajax, manipulation

[-------♡-------]

That wasn't the Ajax you used to know, you were certain. The dead sea in his eyes betrayed way more than his words ever could. You knew he changed, it was clearer than any of the expensive crystals he got for you.

Despite his calm tone the tension in the air grew, pushing against your lungs. Suffocating. As if you were drowning in these dead, ocean blue eyes of his, the pressure forcing you to hold in your breath. His face was mere inches away before your brain started to register his words. You knew he looked at you with a look of superiority. He always did, you didn't even have to see it.

"Repeat it. Again."

"I- I said that- that this just.. won't work-"

After he joined the fatui, or rather after he went missing for a few days, he was a completely different person. The shy, quiet boy you knew and liked wasn't there anymore. All that was left was an empty shell of abandoned humanity. It took you too long to realise this man would only get worse. And yet you clung to the idea that, if given enough care, you could have your sweet Ajax back.

Additionally his new.. line of work was only making him more inhumane. It was as if the violence of it all only sparked this insanity further, setting it alight.

"Oh it will!" It was scary whenever he suddenly grinned like that, as if dismissing the situation. Completely belittling you and your worries. "If you're not willing to work with me, I will simply do it mysel!."

His fingers suddenly tightened on your shoulder, his hair covering half of his face as he thought. Before you could reply Ajax already dragged you back into the room, shoving you inside before he shut the doors.

Scrambling to your feet you leaned against the wood, trying to pry it open, only to notice the sound of a metal click. The lock. "Ajax this- isn't funny. You can't keep me here-"

It was never good to try and be firm with him, because you got no reply, only hearing his footsteps as he walked away.

It would've been fine; you thought. You didn't even know where you went wrong in the first place, sliding down the wooden surface. You should've listened to your gut, you should've known not to ignore all these red flags. But it was hard to suddenly regard him as a monster, having known him all your life.

Or most of it. Even your families were friends, so when the news of him missing arrived to you, you truly were in despair. And now here you are, in the similar despair as you were five years ago, your chest feeling tight. You gave him a chance right before he was sent off to the fatui, you should've simply broken up right then.

You should've gone away without telling him about your intentions first, as he kept you in one room because of that, locking it each time. It was hilarious really, if you thought about it too much. No matter your scrambling or whining he just wouldn't let you leave. At first he was rather calm, telling you that hey, it's fine. It's a new stage of your relationship, to make things better.

Surely you only wanted to break it off cause you met someone you deemed.. better? So then, you won't see them!

You won't see anyone but him to be able to appreciate just how good he is. He's the best, one and only for you!

All that self praise of his had you sick each time, the Ajax who always helped everyone now turned into a self centered asshat. Each time you just had to look away and sigh, the situation continued regardless.

Not much has changed aside from the fact that now he had you abducted. Against your will, sure, but he has to show you just how great he is, doesn't he?

With his hands either on your neck whenever you tried to escape, or inside you, he'd always have a way to convince you that you don't really want to leave. If you do then why are you letting him do this?

It didn't help that with his constant disappearing you had more and more time to plot and brainstorm, how to get out you pondered each day. The news of him being a harbinger didn't come to you, given he was mostly kept away from Snezhnaya by no one but his own superiors.

A war machine that could hardly visit his Darling, he had no choice but to make a plan of his own. Ajax was smart, the way you'd cozy up to him, return his affection. All that was to lower his guard, and all it did was make him aware of your plans. Such a silly girl, he always thought. Nonetheless he played it safe and didn't show any sign of suspicion.

More often than not, when he was back in Snezhnaya that is, he'd bring you things. It was hard to remember that Ajax wasn't.. your childhood friend anymore. That monster now always wanted something in exchange for anything he did, so when you were as much as happy about something he gave you, he'd be just as happy to have you repay him.

Of course there were various ways he'd twist his gifts to have you. And whenever he was rougher after getting his "gift" from you, the memory of what he said never left.

His hand was on your throat, suffocating, letting go and squeezing again. It was as if he was trying to brainwash you, murmuring sweet nothings of how he will murder anyone you get close to.

With every single thrust giving you more ideas of how he'd slay any man you kept contact with behind his back. That you were his and he was sufficient for you.

And each time he'd thrust particularly hard he'd emphasize the importance of never leaving this place. Or him.

"H-nHha.. ffu-fuck-" he'd groan, the sign of him being close. And whenever he did he'd make sure to put his mouth close to your ear. "you're mm-mine- got it? Let anyone- Hhha I mmEan anyone be close to you and I'll- shit.." and then he'd slow, just to pick the pace up again, your legs sore.

He was always going to exhaustion, disgracefully like a rabbit. Back and back at it. How could he help himself if he didn't see you for such a long time? "I'll ffucking.. gut them alive- hn.."

He was a sick bastard. You knew well Ajax was getting off to that idea. "Right in front of you- I'll slit their throat sso you kNow I'm the best for you-"

You came to realise this was some personal issue of his as well. Trying to convince himself he was the best for you, all awhile trying to get you to believe it.

With how much he went at it, it was nearly impossible not to come. And then he'd always turn the shame on you, tell you just how filthy you are from coming, just because of what he said.

It was disgusting each time. At some point you really tried to claw his eyes out, but Ajax was stronger, with ease holding your wrists down. It made you feel.. pathetic.

At least he didn't do it that often anymore, as you noticed over the year of your captivity that he often was gone. And more often than not he was only back for a few days before being gone again.

At that point he was better off throwing you away and finding someone he'd travel with, you felt like a collectible doll. Kept on a shelf only to be checked on, but the moment it moved, even without the collector's presence, all the alarms would go off. It was infuriating.

Ajax simply expected you to stay where you were, without trying to get out to contact your family. Even if he said they know, you found yourself not believing it. There was no way your family would let this happen.

Maybe there was, you were too busy thinking of your grand escape. Today it's been a whole year since he officially kidnapped you. You were together before, sure, but that didn't change a thing.

He had no right to do any of this, and you were thankful enough he didn't care about the anniversaries.

One way or another you sneaked past the fatui near the house, in the snow, in the shoes that were too big for you and one of the thick coats. You made sure it was one that Ajax didn't wear often, after all you weren't allowed outside clothes. So when you were finally out the window, running through the forest, you managed to get near the more civilized side of the Snezhnaya.

Forests here were grand, beautiful and eternal. Neverending snow, forever freezing the life and death within itself: it hurt to know your homeland became your prison, so the moment you managed to get in contact with someone you knew way before any of this happened, you were sent off somewhere better.

Somewhere warmer; that place was Liyue. It was weird to go by a transport vehicle all the way there, but you were soon stationed near one of the beaches.

The process was way too stressful for your mind to keep, so the only thing you remembered was your friend, making you promise you won't come back. And so your life in Liyue started, it was like a rebirth. All the memories of Ajax fading each time you looked at the beautiful beaches, or picked starconches. Even the worst ones, where the fear made you want to do nothing but die; it felt.. calm.

And maybe that was what initially set off your panic. After a year of living in survival mode this calmness that went on for a month was worrying. No one came to look for you.

No one asked, no one followed you, no one looked at you weird. Even the girl who was the head of that rather odd funeral parlor took you as a friend. She was an odd one, but it gave you hope.

That all continued for a while, you working for Hu Tao as the errand girl. It wasn't that serious of a job, but it sustained you just enough: Liyue felt like home. A new home.

You met people, you grew, you learned things. Getting used to the culture was difficult, Snezhnaya wasn't known for the spiciest food after all. Xiangling was kind enough to offer you a second job for the weekends at her dad's place.

Admittedly it was weird how fast you took the liking to the man. Barely six months in Liyue, maybe these were your daddy issues speaking. Maybe you were bored. Maybe the man seemed genuinely attractive, the care he had for Xiangling. For people. The passion whenever he explained the ingredients. Maybe your mind looked for trouble, or maybe, just maybe, you were starting to have a normal life.

Of course the man didn't take your advances seriously, he was aware it was simply because of your circumstances. So he treated you kindly like he did Xiangling regardless, and you decided to put your love life aside for the current moment.

You were also fortunate enough to meet Mrs. Zhongli, having been introduced on a random day by your director.

"From Snezhnaya.. I see, this truly is wonderful news. Liyue is a place for anyone, I'm convinced that Morax himself is proud of how strong of a nation he founded."

And so more time passed. Friends, places, it all grew into you. The beaches, the cliffs, the stories of how Liyue was made. Your nation was ruled by a cold blooded tyrant, that's what you regarded her as, and now, Liyue having an archon present like that?

Then again all good things come to an end in your life. Whether it was in your childhood or now, you should've learned happiness isn't destined for fools like you.

Hu Tao was kind enough to send you on an errand one day or another, and while having to deliver a special package to one of the locals, - Hu Tao's special two for one bonus - you noticed something.

Peeking from behind the pillar you saw the familiar colour of ginger locks. The awful laugh and the shake of the hand. And near them stood a blonde haired person, then a floating.. fairy thing?

You completely ignored the other person, sliding behind one of the pillars.

"..let's take it somewhere private. In Liyue walls have ears, you know?"

You were sure the sound of the two people was fading away, peeking out for a moment to notice them walking further. You wanted to feel at ease that he didn't spot you, but the dread overcame you.

Sliding down the stone structure you felt your heart race. He's here, he knows. He must have come here after you and is now discussing your capture to one of the famous travelers. Fatui in Liyue, you shouldn't have put your guard down.

He caught you. Before you knew it your breathing was heavy, and despite that you felt you couldn't get air into your lungs. The feeling of suffocation that Ajax left in you was always present it seemed, fingers shaking as your vision spun.

He was there and he'd catch you. He'd drag you back. You tried to stand to hide somewhere but your legs gave out right after, eyes wide. You looked around and yet saw nothing, the distorted voice of one of the guards barely registering.

The man picked you up to lean you, but you tried to move away, swatting him with your hands to step back. It was over. He had you.

Before you knew it your vision went blank, and just as fast as you passed out you woke up in an unfamiliar room.

A green haired man sat next to you, hand on your forehead before you knew it. Near you stood Hu Tao, arms crossed over her chest.

"Got me worried there! Don't die on me like that without buying the premium service first, please"

She had a humour, but you couldn't bring yourself to laugh this time. You do recall her and the doctor from this area not getting along well. Did she learn what happened and came here?

He paid her to keep an eye on you.

Were you just paranoid? Was it the truth?

"Miss (y/n) seemed to have passed out due to exhaustion. I checked her levels and saw nothing wrong though"

Only then did you see the snake that seemed to nudge the doctor. "I'm Baizhu, you're at the bubu pharmacy."

You really wanted to reply, but your mouth simply hung open, eyes darkened. You couldn't murmur a word.

On Archons. If he knew, he'd kill them. Or were they paid? They were hired, you were sure.

The faint memory of Ajax resurfacing when you saw the worry on Baizhu's face.

"Don't try anything. I'll find you. I will always find you."

With how unresponsive you were, Hu Tao just sighed, sitting on the bed, right near you. "I know we don't usually talk on personal terms, but.. if there's anything that bothers you, I sure hope you trust me enough to share it. Who knows, whatever bothers you may just find itself sent on the other side!"

She was so sweet sometimes, but you just looked down. "I haven't slept that well for a couple of days, I'm sorry for worrying both of you, but I'm fine" then you smiled. They were paid, and if not? And if they weren't?

What if they were people who genuinely worried about your well being? If you worried them and caused them to snoop, then- he'd kill them. He'd slit their throats, he'd hang them, he'd torture them to prove his sick po- "I do not see that to be the case, as a doctor I can see this is no result of lack of sleep" he didn't seem convinced. But Baizhu wasn't allowed to pry further. "If this happens again feel free to come by again. I'm sure we have some herbs that may help."

You simply groaned. After he checked your temperature and state he finally let you leave, and Hu Tao insisted on walking you home. And so you allowed her to, noticing how she just had a reason to chat through the whole way. Whether it were the new clients or the.. fatui in Liyue.

"I honestly think it's kind of creepy how the fatui keeps digging it's filthy claws in here." She started. "They even sent a harbinger over, you believe that?" For whatever reason, the young director seemed displeased. "is that so?" The harbinger was of no concern to you. You only needed to avoid his subordinate.

"Yeah! It's the youngest one, the eleventh. Childe, funny isn't it? Childe. Child. Cause you know, he's.. a child in comparison. I hope he doesn't bring me more clients than I can handle!"

She.. still had a weird sense of humour. But you knew she meant well, trying to cheer you up with these jokes.

"Childe? That sounds so goofy"

You tried to laugh. But your chest felt tight. The panic never left you. It would never leave.

"Yeah, not only that he's…" she leaned over to your ear as if saying some secret. "Ginger."

At that you went silent, your steps coming to a complete halt as your eyes widened. There he was, at the very far end of the road. Dark clothes, the ginger locks, the cape. That wasn't the outfit he usually wore.

Hu Tao took this as a sign the joke set in. "Gi-ginger?"

"I know right? Like please, a ginger guy can hardly be intimi- oh, that's him actually!"

And so she pointed right at the person you wished you never saw again.

Ajax. The one and only.

It was like time had stopped. Your abductor was a harbinger.

Ajax was a harbinger.

Ajax was.. Childe.

Now all of this made sense, all the times he was gone more and more. The violent impulse- his delusion, one he locked away from you whenever he came over: his vision.

Hu Tao noticed that you really were out of it, fingers snapping in front of your face. "He's not that scary, really. Actually he often plays in the theater here in Liyue, for some reason he seems to enjoy that kinda stuff. "

Before she added more you turned on your heel to sprint away, completely ignoring whatever else she said, her confused expression.

And so you ran straight to the suburban part of Liyue, body feeling faint again. It didn't have to be necessarily true that he knew you were there.

And yet the paranoia set in, and now each turn you made you looked left and right to see if anyone was there. Even the agents that usually walked down the roads looked unsafe. Each step was a struggle for life, you couldn't faint here.

They'd get you and drag you back to your homeland.

"I'll always find you"

The branch you stepped on broke, your house in the distance.

"I'll slit their throat right in front of you"

You ran faster, basically slamming into the doors to open them. The key almost fell from your hand.

"You belong to me, and I take what is mine."

When the doors opened everything went quiet, you slammed them shut, walking in shakily. Straight to your room, almost collapsing by the time you reached it. There was some sort of object on the bed.

Not knowing what it was, your legs already bent, knees feeling soft as you struggled to the furniture, managing to lean against the soft mattress. A picture.

Of you.

In Wangsheng funeral parlor.

You practically fell face flat on the bed, the built up tears finally rolling.

Second time you lost everything.

You couldn't stay here, you were in danger. You brought nothing but demise to anyone who helped you, and after half a minute you finally regained the senses.

Crying was for later. Right then you only began to stuff all your belongings into a suitcase, your adrenaline driven mind not caring about the little things like flowers or pictures, or souvenirs. You only took a necklace with you, the cash you saved.

The dark of the night was too scary, if they snatched you then, no one would see. That's why you set out through the backdoor before the sun could hide away..

You didn't have time to think about the recklessness and impulsiveness of this decision, it being clear your paranoid mind could not come up with a better plan. The run back to Liyue harbour was exhausting, and the moment you crossed the gates, you looked around.

Each step you took towards the center of it all was filled with dread and fear. You didn't feel as scared before, but your mind still suppressed this.. realisation. You would feel way worse later, lucky enough to drag yourself to the port. You briefly explained your last minute booking, of course making an entirely different reason up. But you wouldn't go to Sumeru. That was too predictable.

You took one that was headed to Fontaine, getting aboard to not be seen in Liyue again.

Of course the whole ride was tremendous, the knowledge you were in Liyue for only a year before it went down makes you anxious. If you were in Fontaine surely your chances of survival would be better?

You didn't have the time to think, all you thought of was newfound knowledge you received.

And you couldn't sleep either, safeguarding your belongings, thinking.

The one who kept you a prisoner was.. a harbinger. And knowing how far harbingers go to pursue their goals, how much intel he had- it made you sick.

You didn't necessarily know for sure if someone observed you, but you were too anxious to care. All you wanted to do was to go back to how things were, be with your family.

It was impossible though. And so you landed in Fontaine, this time around having a way harder time adjusting.

Would seem citizens really did dislike outsiders, the atmosphere of Fontaine not something you.. imagined. In a way you considered going to Natlan instead, but given you already had to find some occupation, your money was quickly spent. You were stuck helping with packaging parcels and sending them off.

A Monotonous job with a pay that hardly let you live.

During days like these you truly sat in a chair and cried over Liyue, over what you had. Over what that bastard took from you with these lifeless, cold hands of his.

Over all the friends you lost again, you were tired. Having to start over from scratch, you didn't bother with friends anymore. You were sure he'd find you again, so you already prepared to move further away. Either to Natlan, maybe Monstadt. City of freedom. You were sure if you explained yourself you'd find a shelter, Knights of that area had quite a reputation after all. You were already crying over your life, now to that you cried over the stupid choice of being here. Monstadt was too close to Liyue, but still.

Maybe you'd make it work.

In Liyue you grew used to everything within weeks. In Fontaine it took you too long to adjust to everything, over half a year passing by before you finally befriended a single person. Even so, your days were filled with loneliness, self exploration. You tried to heal a little; taking walks, trying to ignore how ugly the city seemed to you. Even if you were far from the city of Fontaine itself, the surroundings weren't as good as in Liyue.

For some reason the nation made you feel heavy hearted. Sure, you were promoted to putting things inside parcels instead of just wrapping them, but that was hardly enough to be able to afford your life, and to save money.

It was an unfortunate situation, but you didn't dwell in self pity. Now no one was in danger because of you, and given how you heard that the.. harbinger usually stayed in Liyue, you were safe.

Monotonous days passed, monotonous nights followed. The mechanic appeal of Fontaine would never look good. But you learned to cope, learned to adapt; you had to adapt.

Adaptation was what allowed one to survive, and so even when you suddenly found more taxes by your door, more bills to pay, you tried to think well.

All this was means to an end, even if by then you were too short on money to have anything left for another trip to another nation. It was.. unfortunate. And yet, quite convenient for someone that wasn't you.

It was truly your bad luck that the nation had a problem with their Archon who turned to the Fatui for help, and before you knew it, the words of a Harbinger who came to deal with the issue spread. Childe.

Again, Childe this. Childe that. You were sure this time that he really came to deal with the issue of this God, but the more you heard, the more you realised this wasn't the case.

During the first months of this problem you stayed hidden, but even after it ended, the Fatui didn't.. leave.

The amount of agents lessened whenever you took a walk, but you couldn't keep living in fear. Maybe that part was the one that you screwed up. Cicins hardly anywhere to be found either; they were really moving out.

A part of you felt happy, still preparing to leave though. You'd come to Monstadt this time around, enjoying the evening view as you grabbed the herbs from the ground, quickly putting them into the bag, not wanting to stay outside longer than necessary.

Fontaine was really developed, the air hardly ever feeling fresh. That's why it was so hard for you to get your hands on anything fresh, eyes closing for a moment.

It's been a year and the sight of Liyue never left your mind. You stared in an unknowing bliss at one of the bushes, reminiscing. Of how Xiangling and you would gather things for her new dishes.

Or how you'd run errands to get things for Hu Tao's send off rituals. The smell of the food, the homely atmosphere.

Before you knew it, it was dark, your thoughts occupying you for a while. Getting from the ground you gathered the items you've picked, finally heading back home. The path you always took, the sights you always looked at whenever you went over your evening routine. It wasn't that hard to remember the overall terrain here, and once you approached the doors to your home, you took the key to put it into the lock.

Weirdly enough you couldn't turn it, only then noticing the doors opened. You must've left them unlocked, but even when you warily made your way in, you heard nothing.

It was only when you were in the kitchen did you turn the light on, pupils fast to look at the person sitting near the table.

He held a knife in his hand, and a picture, seemingly staring at it as he leaned back in the chair.

"Y/n, y/n, y/n. Fate we are in the same place again, is it not?"

Seeing Ajax made you feel sick, a grin forming on his face. You took a step back. You wished you could say something instead of wanting to take a run for it. But he already stood, his clearly taller frame headed towards you.

"As if destiny itself willed us to meet again" giving him a frown you reached back for your hunting knife, taking in deep breaths. In and out, like you taught yourself to suppress the panic. You're fine.

"It was more something along the lines of you breaking into my house, asshole-" before he was too close the knife was pointed at his chest.

Ajax was like an animal. The moment you showed fear, you lost. That was something that you didn't take too long to learn.

Childe sneered, frowning at you instead. "That's such a wrong way to put it, I merely made myself present."

Maybe it wasn't the right move to show him the knife, as he already snatched it from your hand in a way that was too fast for you to comprehend, it suddenly slammed right next to your skull into the wall. You heard it crack in displeasure and protest, the sharp part of the blade touching your ear.

Only then you realised you had a reason for fear, lips pressed together. It was all too clear that he was annoyed. "you're pathetic if you think I don't know about your endeavours in Liyue."

"So you knew?"

"Of course I did. An idiot like you hardly got out of Snezhnaya, which I also knew about before you could even set off." He scoffed, hand suddenly on your neck. It was dangerous to play that game with him, so you didn't even try to move. He wouldn't kill you, that was for certain by now.

If he did, it would be a waste of time to chase after you earlier.

"I thought, maybe if you have some glimpse of other things that may be sufficient for you. That you, I don't fucking know, might stop being childish about us"

His grip on the knife was tight. You didn't say more. You didn't want to cause further anger.

"But you didn't, of course I also predicted you'd leave Liyue at some point. It wasn't hard to follow your track, honestly you'd be quite naive if you thought you could get away"

It seemed he really was aware of everything, fingers squeezing your throat more so. With his hand on his neck, Ajax made you look up at him, brow raised before he chuckled. "You silly girl. We can do it both ways, alright?"

That condescending tone infuriated you, finger tapping at the skin on your neck. It felt as if he could snap it within moments, Childe was obviously doing this on purpose. Intimidate you into submission.

"You come back with me, willingly, and maybe.. maybe I'll make the punishment a little less severe"

He saw your mouth open in protest, his thumb ending on your bottom lip. "ah, ah, ah. You don't interrupt when I'm speaking. Otherwise I might have to make you come back with me, by force. And the outcome will not be pleasant, hm?"

To you that just sounded like he'd lock you up and leave you without food for maximum a day. Or some physical sort of torture, but instead he gave you a knowing look. "Of course that includes me getting rid of all the people who could look for you. I really don't like people in my business, I hope you understand how troublesome that would be for me. All the issues you caused with these.. useless friendships you made, yeah?"

You were ready to protest truly, but upon hearing that your blood went cold, the feeling made you feel hot actually. Boiling, not from fear, but from anger. Newfound anger, that he quickly took a notice off. "don't give me that look.."

It was scary, how he looked when he enjoyed your intense emotions. Fear, frustration. All the emotions you couldn't express, the helplessness, oh he loved it, eyes closing so he could lean to your face, kissing you. A kiss that wasn't returned, as you passively let yourself be pushed into the wall further. Then again Childe didn't mind if it was one sided, instead kissing you with more intensity, in a way that made you feel out of breath. As if he was purposefully trying to suffocate you and you hardly managed to shove yourself to the side to breathe. Having minimum space between you two, you tried to get out from between him in the wall, only to be grabbed by your waist. "Oh, no you don't"

He said it with some sort of sick cheerfulness, pulling you into another, weakening kiss. It was nowhere near gentle, only dominating and tiring. Weakening, deafening. You were sure you'd pass out by the time he pulled back, a faint smirk visible on his face. The threat set in, you would come back, or he'd drag you there and kill your friends anyway. There was no winning. "So?"

You were silent. The lack of answer made Childe sigh, clicking his tongue as if you were the one who gave him no choice. "Looks like you need more convincing"

"Ffuckingg hell n-no- I'll go- I'll.. I'll go-"

In the end your life was singular in comparison to the lives of many people you met.

You weren't worth enough to let them be killed out of your own pride after all.

Childe grinned sickly. You wanted to puke. "Three times the charm, isn't it? You won't get away this time."

[seungminismyboo]

☾ ━━━ PAIRING: SEUNGMIN X FEM READER FUCKING IN A LIBRARY

☾ ━━━ CONTENT: SMUT, EATING HER OUT, FINGER PLAY, CHAIR SEX, CALLS YOU DARLING (I think that’s it)

☾ ━━━ 18+!! Unless you wanna be a bit risky..

━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━

Seungmin is not one to sit there and look at books. Or papers. Seungmin doesn't like to study, he's not had much experience with it in the first place. Thursday afternoon, sitting at the library desks trying to study, thinks about how dumb he really is. he reads his textbook and… God, he is fucking stupid, since he did not pay attention in biology class, nor is he even sure they teach that in biology class and there is nothing that Seungmin hates more than being called stupid. Then his thoughts came to you. He’d see you stare at him in class and in the hallways a lot, and Seungmin interprets your stares. But he doesn’t really know how he feels about you. Seungmin generally likes you, even though you are a bit scary, he has to admit, or maybe that's the appeal. So Seungmin just has to sit back and relax and simply take it because, apparently, that's what he gets for not studying his entire life.

A loud smack of books wakes Seungmin from his peaceful afternoon nap - one that he has really earned this time around, he managed to look through his study notes for a full 20 minutes during his lunch break! Disoriented, Seungmin raises his head to make out his location and what year he is in. Slowly, Seungmin recognizes you, in the book isle.. checking out some books. He knew you always liked reading. He slowly gets up, a quick glance in the isle. Seungmin furrows his brows and shakes his head. Why would he even go up to you? Pfft. What a dummy. But Seungmin froze when he heard you call his name. He turned around and saw you with your arms crossed and staring right at him. A few seconds pass until Seungmin finally realizes that he hasn’t said anything yet, and his mouth forms an 'o'-shape. Thinking of what to say. “Oh sorry. I was just STARING AT YOU” like.. no…

“Sorry," he says and sheepishly scratches the back of his head, then steps aside.

"It's fine, really" you stare at him before walking deeper into the isle of books.

"May I follow you?" Seungmin asked.

You nod and he manages to follow you into the isle, deeper and deeper where no one else was. You sit at an empty table and take out a few books from your backpack and some of the ones you just found. You glance at him and see Seungmin in a pair of sweatpants hanging low on his hips. You see he’s dressed quite messy. As mentioned, he is generally unable to properly focus on his studies, but today, it's exceptionally bad. Because normally he’s always dressed so well. Of course, you'd notice.

"Seungmin, are you okay?" There's worry in your eyes – a sight Seungmin has not seen. Ever.

"What..?” He said confused.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re dressed like a mess..” you reply.

Then he lets out a sigh. “I'm fine, just tired," he mumbles, eyes unfocusing as he stares ahead.

"Yeah, you are? Why?"

Seungmin’s tired mind cannot question why you suddenly seem so interested in his well-being. He also doesn't put any meaning into why you're scooting closer to him, your forearm accidentally touching his.

"I studied during my lunch break," Seungmin informs you, a little, proud smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Something tingles inside his chest as you carefully place your hand on his arm.

“Well you should continue. I heard your grades are dropping.”

Seungmin sighed and got up to grab his stuff. He came back and placed it down and sat beside you. As he looks over at you, you smile at him, and he notices your gaze flickering down to his lips for a second. Seungmin’s mind suddenly snaps out of its hazy state and works on overdrive. He might be the type to vibe, the type to just let things play out, but he'd be damned if he didn't notice when someone likes him like that. A few moments pass, and you sit back, then pat your hand against your book to remind him to continue to study. Seungmin groans, admittedly a little dramatically and unreasonably erotic, brushing a hand through his hair to flex his biceps right in front of your face. You seem unimpressed.

"Well, fuck me," he chuckles deeply, the rasp in his voice more evident than usual due to his nap. It's then when you tense, he notices from the corner of his eye. Oh. Okay. So it's the voice? "I'm really glad you let me be here with you.." He purrs, throwing in a little praise to get you extra bothered, and you simply breathe out nervously.

"Heh, no worries," you brush him off. Seungmin decides that, for now, he's made you suffer enough and keeps quiet. Instead, he focusses on his studies, although he's already planning his next step to terrorize you.

"Seungmin, focus-"

"No, I get what I have to do, the contents just won't stay in my head." Seungmin reasons, his voice unusually, but not by chance, He is not stupid. He does understand how this works. It's just that it doesn't make sense, and that is surely not his fault.

"Are you stup-" you start, but shut your mouth before you're even able to call him the dumbest fucker you've ever crossed paths with. Seungmin inhales sharply.

Oh, oh, you're lucky he is patient, and you're lucky he knows that as soon as he growled a few dirty words into your ear, you'd slam your upper body on this table, without regards of caution, pushing your panties down under your skirt and begging him to take you right there - or at least, that's what he imagines.

"God," he groans as deeply as he can, stretching his arms over his head, "I guess I'm just a little" - he throws in a little moany sigh - "a little distracted today.""A-are you?"

You nod, biting your lip subconsciously. Seungmin looks at you without moving his head.

"Why?"

"Well, just stuff, you know?" Seungmin enjoys how the rumble in his voice makes his throat and - obviously - you feel.

"There's just a lot, going on. Like big... big stuff. Stuff that just keeps coming and coming, in and out, just like that. Ugh, I wish I could just let all this frustration out you know, all this pent up stuff." He watches for your reaction.

Unmistakably, your hand holding your book in a relaxed manner mere seconds ago now desperately grasps the pages until your knuckles turn white, your breathing is uneven and loud. Seungmins favorite reaction to him ever: you're pressing your thighs together. Oh, how Seungmin loves himself a good reaction like this.

"Big stuff, huh?" Your voice trembles as your nervous eyes search for his. "H-how big?"

"Oh, really big. Just really fucking big," Seungmin confirms with a slight smirk.

He loves how you just fold easily like that. One second, you're over there feeling superior on your little throne of knowledge that Seungmin lacks, and the next, you're making a little mess in your panties just because Seungmin so much as spoke. Absolutely incredible. People should start calling him "the rizzler".

"I think-" you clear your throat, "I think I should go then..?"

Seungmin smiles to himself as soon as you turn away to pack your stuff into your backpack. His slender fingers toying with his pen, inevitably drawing your attention to the movements.

"Already?""Mhm."

You stare a second too long, gulp, then hastily stuff your belongings into the big compartment of the backpack, Seungmin listens to the sweet melody of stressed breathing and papers crunching. As amused as he is, he decides that it is time for the big reveal.

"Keep it in your pants, baby" he looks over, his eyebrow halfway raised, and stops rocking back and forth and fiddling with the pencil as you freeze in your tracks and stop packing.

"What?" Slowly, you turn your head to look at him. "So you know?" You manage to squeak.

Seungmin smugly pushes his tongue into his cheek. He loves how you're basically vibrating out of nervousness.

"Oh, I know."

You sigh, hands finally letting go of your stuff and motioning defeat. He wonders what's going on in your mind right now. Are you afraid he's going to call you out? That he's going to make fun of you? That he's going to call you a needy slut and send you home? Or are you wondering if he's going to give you what you want? Seungmin loves this game. That's why he decides to make your situation a little more miserable.

"I also know that you think I'm stupid," he explains calmly, trying his best to no longer show any excitement, smugness, or any emotion whatsoever on his sharp facial features to really confuse you.

Well, that's what you're getting for (almost) calling The Kim Seungmin stupid. Just a little payback, is all. He's not going to go so far and make you cry. No, no, Seungmin can't handle when people cry, much less so if it's because of him. Nevertheless, your breath hitches. Oh, you're fully aware that he didn't like you calling him that at all.

"I'm sorry-" you start, back facing Seungmin’s form, but Seungmin is not here for it. He has gotten what he wants. Seungmin feels as powerful as he imagines a lion to feel, like, every day.

"Dumb fucks good," he simply states, just putting it out there, throwing it into the room for you to do with that statement whatever you like. Seungmin’s mind is already satisfied, his ego stroked because he's just proven that he isn't dumb. Although... he wouldn't mind a little diddling because, if he's being honest, you're hot as fuck and seeing you react to him in this way- well, he's also just a man!

"What?" You probably think you must've terribly misheard him as you whip your head around to face the confident Seungmin smugly leaned back in his chair.

Your eyes meet his, and he is sure that you now realize that, no, you definitely did not mishear him. That was exactly what he said. In the blink of an eye, Seungmin feels your presence on his lap, a last final look into his eyes before he feels your lips against his, desperately chewing away the remaining air separating his spit from yours. It's messy, lips colliding, too much teeth and tongue, but it's all raw and desperate. Seungmin gets the vibes that you may have had some pent up want for him, but that's honestly the last clear thought he can muster before you grind your hips against his. A deep groan escapes Seungmin’s lips, inevitably echoing against your own quiet gasps that just turn louder with every movement of your hips, your hands frantically trying to touch him everywhere at once to the point where he has to grab your arms and pull you back. His hands go up your skirt, touching your panties. He can feel they are getting wet. He glides his fingers along it, Your eyes, wide. And confused, but somehow lidded and hazy at the same time struggle to take in Seungmin in front of you.

Yes, he is aware of the effect of his siren eyes. For another moment, he simply enjoys seeing how destroyed you look already, but honestly, there is just one thing on his mind.

"I'm gonna eat you out," he informs, waiting for you to nod frantically, whine and scramble off his lap for him to keep his promise.

And you do, allowing Seungmin to grab your waist with his large hands and lift you onto the table. Of course, he can't resist getting another taste of your lips, almost losing himself in the soft pillows that frame your pretty mouth, but the hardness creating a tent in his sweatpants reminds him that he should possible attend a little lower.

Hence, he kisses his way over your cheek towards your jaw, then over your neck and down your collarbones. Seungmin is not sure what your opinions on love bites are, so he just hopes you can remember him being right here and here and here even without visual proof, he can save that for next time. Okay, Seungmin admittedly was not able to hold himself back completely, his teeth only gently nipping at your skin on his way down. He simply hopes for the best, but your sounds seem to imply that you do not mind him one bit. Instead, you sound as if you wouldn't mind him taking a few bites more. Impatient as you are, you assist Seungmin in pushing your shirt out of the way, the straps of your bra automatically falling down your shoulders to reveal more of you to his hungry eyes. And as much as he would like to spend hours playing with your chest, he keeps it down to a minimum, kissing the soft flesh while gently pushing the remaining material out of the way for better access.

His lips wrap around a nipple, his hands meanwhile busy with massaging the other and carefully holding your waist. God, Seungmin loves boobs. But he might love the way your fingers comb through his hair and gently pull on it a bit more even. Finally, the time has come, and Seungmin kneels down on the floor. Pushing your skirt up, smirking at the wetness on it. His hands caressing your thighs, he creates eye contact with your eyes glazed over by lust and want. He wants to tease you more, make you wait, maybe make you beg even, but he just feels too hungry to keep waiting. His fingers hook into the hem of your panties, pulling them down your legs as quickly as possible before spreading your legs and groaning in anticipation.

Okay, maybe Seungmin feels a little tingle, and maybe that is not a horny tingle, but that's something to worry about later, if ever. Right now, he has a mission: dive in. So that's what he does, He goes down on his knees, looking at your eyes, then your clit. You laid back on the table.. just waiting for it. Obviously, planting a careful kiss right on your clit to wait for your reaction. And you do not disappoint, gasping slightly at the first sensation before getting louder and bolder the more Seungmin tastes you. His tongue gently parts your folds, getting a first taste of your juices. You basically cry out as his tongue prods at your hole, carefully easing its way inside to caress your walls. Automatically, your hands fly to his hair, gently pulling at the roots to find a way to ground yourself, the feeling assumingely overwhelming, Seungmin thinks, not to brag, but-Seungmins eyes roll back at a particularly hard tug at his hair, paired with the way your hips grind closer until you're basically riding his face. Seungmin’s fingers grab hard at your thighs, loving the way the soft flesh feels in his hands. To experiment a little more and, first and foremost, to get more rewarding reactions out of you, he lets his mouth wander back up to your clit, gently sucking the nub between his lips, his tongue carefully flicking as not to overwhelm you.

At the same time, a fingers sneaks its way over to circle your entrance. Seungmin loves taking in the pleasure written all over your face. He might not admit it, but he loves this kind of praise much more than verbal praise because your body really can't lie. He can literally taste how good he is at this. He finally pushes his finger inside, loving how the wetness and muscle contractions are basically pulling him deeper and deeper until past his second knuckle.

“Shh.. darling.. people will hear us..” Seungmin whispered. Then he feels around a little, trying to find the spots that seem to appeal to you the most, watching carefully how you react to each and every flick of his wrist. Although, he feels that one finger is not enough to prepare you for the rest of him, so he adds another, massaging them into the spot that seems to be making you see stars with the way you grip his hair even tighter and mutter something he interprets as a warning that you're about to cum. Keeping his pace, he successfully sends you over the edge, letting you ride out your high on his tongue before removing his lips, only getting his fingers massage the last clenches out of you. Looking up he realizes you look, respectfully, wrecked, with your chest heaving, your hair a little messy and your eyes hazy and glossy, parted lips asking for his. And who is he to deny them, as he leans in to allow you to taste yourself. You seem to like it. Pulling back after a while, he looks at you. You look so happy and relaxed like he's never seen before. For some reason, it reminds him of the weight in his pants that he suddenly feels the need to inform you about.

"You make me so hard," Seungmin says lowly, carefully taking your hand to prove it to you, "feel." It's more your hand guiding his with how fast you reach down to feel him, eager to touch the outline of him through the sweatpants.

And as if you're getting paid to stroke Seungmin’s ego even more, you gasp at his size. Seungmin can't help but smirk, of course, who wouldn't?

"Big stuff, huh?" You repeat your words from earlier, but this time no longer nervous, but cheeky as you bite your lip playfully.

Oh, how Seungmin would love to make you choke on his dick right now, just a little, and in a loving matter, but he's honestly waited long enough and he really just needs to be in you right now. And besides, Seungmin is more in his giving,receiving era. Instead, he grins. And he feels like there is something more. Seungmin smiled and pulled you into a kiss, picking you up by the thighs and bringing you back down on his lap. He said on the chair again, kissing you passionately. Impatiently, you tug at his pants, successfully moving them a millimeter. Seungmin helps you push his pants further down until it pools around his ankles. You giggle. Damnit, Seungmin. Why are you so hot. Seungmin mentally scolds himself, a good amount of his previously earned smugness flying out the window. Instead, he gives you kind of a sheepish look.

"I don't mind," you assure, tugging at his boxers next, "it's actually relieving to be reminded that you're still the cute, dorky Seungmin and are not possessed by a sex demon."

“I don't fucking care. Just get these boxers off and have sex with me!"Seungmin does not need to be told twice, only a piece of fabric shielding his balls from the outside world.

"God, fuck," you let out, and Seungmin chuckles at your reaction to his naked lower half,

"come here. Please."

You scoot closer and Seungmin moaned. The feeling of your thighs and clit against his dick, And you start to beg him with your eyes. Seungmin wastes not another second, aligning himself with your hole and slowly pushing forwards, making you bounce up a little. Your eyes roll back as he enters you, causing you to hold onto him for dear life as he inches inside, filling you completely. His hands trail your skirt, pulling it upwards. Exposing your thighs and ass. And he softly squeezed it. God, must your walls hug him so perfectly? Must you be so unbelievably wet just for him? Must you make these sounds? Seungmin feels like he doesn't want to be inside anyone else ever again.

"I feel like I don't want to inside anything else ever again." How did that get out there? You chuckle, and have the nerve to pinch his cheek, as if he wasn't balls deep buried inside you right now.

"You're so cute." Cute?! Seungmin will show you cute. He grabs your jaw, admittedly still gently, and makes you look at him as he pulls almost all the way out until his tip catches at your entrance.

"Cute?" And he pushes in all the way all at once. You moan, the feeling too much, too intense for you to still keep your eyes open.

Helplessly, you cling to Seungmin’s body as he repeats the action 4 more times before setting a steady rhythm, angling his hips in a way that should stimulate the spot you liked so much earlier. With your mouth hanging open and your eyebrows scrunched, you look like the prettiest thing Seungmin’s ever seen. He wants to see you drool, watch you completely lose your mind over nothing else but his cock. At the same time, he is surprised how good it feels. Well, not surprised that it feels good, but that it feels abnormally good, like he's about to nut in the next minute or so. Hopefully, he's able to coax another high out of you before that.

"What was it that riled you up so much earlier? My voice?" He growls, and you as much as whimper in return.

"Yeah, like it that my voice is so seductive?" You nod pathetically. "Cute.""Seungmin- 's so good."

"Yeah, am I fucking you good?" Seungmin grins and you nod weakly, struggling to keep your eyes open.

He really shouldn't be the one talking big because honestly, he feels like if u moan one more time, if ur walls clench around him one more time, he is going to lose it. Something about this entire situation is just super surreal to him, or maybe it's simply you that is the reason for his premature high that is coming for him with fast steps.

"Fuck, baby," he groans, kissing your cheek before whispering, "can I please cum inside?"

"Shit, y-yes," you confirm, nodding quickly as you fight your hardest battle to keep your eyes open, focused and on the man that's currently grinding his tip into your sweet spot.

Seungmin feels like he loves you. He also feels like he's loosing his grip on reality, which is why he grabs your hips harder than before, using his strength to really slam his hips into yours with force, drowning his thoughts with the sounds of your moans. There is nothing on his mind except for you, you, you, and the primal need to make you his.

"Please," he groans, not quite sure what he's begging for, but it doesn't really matter in the end, does it?

All that matters is that Seungmin’s ears catch the way you're begging him to cum for you, to fill you up, to please, please finish inside. He is not going to deny you that wish. His hips stutter, his mind goes numb as he feels his muscles tighten and contract, releasing deep inside you. The feeling spreads in his body, feeling high and happy with such a forceful orgasm like this one. Everything after is just a blur in his mind, he just remembers realizing that you didn't cum a second time, and he wouldn't be Seungmin if he kept it that way.

That's why he found himself putting you back on the table, going into his knees seconds after pulling out, sucking your clit back into his mouth, tasting his own release that's threatening to drip out if it wasn't for his fast fingers pumping in and out of you to push you over the edge. It doesn't take long until you do, orgasm fueled by the lewd action of Seungmin eating his own cum out of you, he assumes.

Somehow, you two end up in his bed after a romantic drive to his house, mostly because Seungmin is a cuddler, partly because he’s is not able to let you go yet. Or ever. Who knows. Maybe he’ll never ever let you go..

The end!

(Unless you want a part two on what happens at his house..)

[pawberri]

How do you know if something is early psychosis and not other neurodivergencies/mental illness, from a self determination perspective? Like for example you need both an obsession and a compulsion to have ocd, so what is the one thing that needs to be true to know if you might be dealing with some form of psychosis?

The hard thing about it is that sometimes prodromal schizophrenia looks like other things, but there are diagnostic and expirential differences... anecdotally me and my friends talk about loss of emotion. Not the kind symptomatic of depression where you feel overwhelmed with emptiness, but feeling absolutely flat. Nothing gives pleasure, but you don't have the instinct to grieve over it either. You walk through life on autopilot, maybe fantasizing about having access to emotion. Maybe the fantasy world becomes the only place you feel anything.

Also, loss of or lack of identity, an inability to fathom any objective reality or objective version of "yourself." Psychosis therapy often involves helping the patient believe there is a narrative to their life, rather than it being a series of random inputs not connected by one identity or perspective. People with psychosis or schizotypy might have trouble understanding that they don't have access to people's inner thoughts or feelings, which makes it feel like your "identity" is just a bit of sludge in the sea of existence.

The most obvious and explicit is if you start to have delusions and hallucations. There are also less severe versions called cognitive distortions and sensory illusions. (i.e I have schizotypal so I always see blurry shadowy shapes out of the corner of my eye, and I always have paranoid beliefs about others and magical thinking, but I can identify it as "not technically true.") If you are having delusions and hallucinations you might not be able to tell they're false, but if the world has suddenly become much more scary and hostile and full of danger and unexplainable phenonemena, it might be delusions and hallucinations. You can check with others you trust to see what they think of the phenomena you're experiencing. There's no shame if it ends up being a delusion or hallucination.

^ My explanation is purely amateur and incomplete, so tread carefully. This website here impressed me with how thorough it is