#i know i probably cant nor shouldnt

[testicularmanslaughtrr]

I miss quite a few people in my and I wish I had a way to say like...you're welcome back anytime.

Hi I've been in my feelings all day and had a long emotional talk with my best friend and I just.

I've been very fixated on the past's place in my future.

I am in a place where for quite a while, people leaving my life was very common. People come people go. I considered myself a fair weather person. Even my own family left me.

During an even darker time in my life I was like oh. I'm only around for as long as I serve a purpose. Once that purpose is up, I'm out.

Thankfully even if that was true, I like to think I don't live that sort of life where I'm just a commodity or a servant. That was a long time ago.

But looking at that, the people I've lost either thru anger or just....the natural sand of time. I wish I just had a way to send a very gentle hand written note that assures- you're welcome to say hi any time. You don't even have to stay long. But it'd be cool to say hi again.

I think the greatest wish many people with symptoms like me is the ability to reconnect, reunderstand, and keep growing in whatever direction life leads after that. I have so many friends from school or just past experiences, conventions, old group chats, etc. People I've lost contact with cause I feel like I can't hold a conversation. People that might still hate my guts. And I just wish I could be like

Door's still open. It never shut.

I've literally only ever blocked one person in my life and that guy was a fucking monster. While I believe most people are not beyond redemption, I have limits. Trick and use me, fuck you. Hurt others in unforgivable ways. I hope you choke.

Not the point sorry

I'm not getting any younger. I'm tired of losing people. Sometimes you can't help it and I have always been firmly in the belief that no one is beholden to me and no one owes me a damn thing. Live your life and live it well. But I still miss people. I miss people I have no business missing and sometimes I just want to randomly message them like "Hey. How have the last 10 years been?"

Sadly for that I know I can't. It's not fair to re-enter lives that don't want me. I just get curious. Did you ever get help? Are you happy? Do you still like homestuck? Have you traveled anywhere? Whats your current favorite song? Do you miss me too?

Idk. I'm growing sappy and sentimental in my old age.

Don't get me wrong. I love my friends more than the waking fucking world. These musings, these feelings, they do not at all interfere with me wanting to keep those I love close to my and make some of the best memories a person could ask for. Cause no matter how much I miss anyone, I'm not losing any of these people. Bet on that.

So what is this ramble for? Idk. I'm just a guy on the internet. But if you read it either you're waiting for me to be smart, which will never happen or maybe you're missing someone too. And it happens. You never truly realize the print someone left on you until you're airing out the laundry. So if you're missing someone, and you have the ability to reach out....fuck it. Just do it. Why not. Worst they do is block u. Then guess what, nothing really changes. Reach out and of the convo fizzles, same thing. Nothing changes, you made the attempt, and the world keeps spinning.

World will always keep spinning.

[moonlume]

tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything

[thecherrygod]

:/

[senxitive]

Fucking frustrating.

[sun-stricken]

Gray, Lyon and Ultear family ideas? I like to imagine Gray tells them about one of fairy tail’s exploits and they get concerned about his well-being. Mandatory family trips thatGray definitely doesn’t try to avoid (Lyon and Ultear have learnt to alert the guild when they’re coming so Gray can’t escape).

And if you don’t mind, Gray and Loke being BFFs?

Thanks! This blog makes me happy

im so happy you enjoy my blog!! i enjoy it too ;D

i’ve actually made a post similar to this before, but heres more

ty for the ask and sorry this took a while, ive been busy

Once a month (at least) family trip are a must, It started with Ultear dragging Lyon places during the 7 year gap but it started being a more regular thing when Gray turned back up

the first couple time they tried to do things together, it was a disaster

they werent familiar with each other and were hella awkward

Also, when Lyon & Ultear would mention to Gray they were coming into town, he would try to convince the team to go on an impromptu job

they’ve since learned to warn Erza of their arrival so he cant leave

‘abt to come into town, do not let that mf leave’

‘Guarding the doors & windows rn’

Grays probably walked into the guild to see one or both of them and turned right back around

The first time the showed up when Gray wasnt around they got a shovel-esque talk

it was terrifying and also confusing considering they think of themselves as his siblings so shouldnt they be giving those talks?

Ultear really embraces her oldest sibling role and pays for practically everything they do together

While Gray will try to avoid in person outings, he will blow up their phones (lacrima devices, whatever) at all hours of the night

Lyon probably has a 16 step skin care routine that he tries to nag the other two into trying it

its a fools quest tbh

They argue. so much. cannot do anything together without a disagreement. they probably have fist fought each other too

They are fiercely protective of one another, they can be pretty subtle about it but its clear as day to anyone who even slightly crosses them

They as a whole have a gambling/betting problem

They have run their pockets dry with it

They have been kicked out of multiple restaurants for being too loud

Gray tells them off-handedly abt the jobs and events he went through while growing up in Fairy Tail and they just sit back and listen in horrified fascination

they have absolutely no planned photos of them, they just never got around to it (*coughcough* grayrefusedtobeinone *coughcough*)

however! they have soooo many candid ones, Gray glared and complained when he found out (but he has half of them framed or saved on his phone)

Ultear and Lyon got pretty close duriny the 7 year gap and while Gray swears hes not jealous of it he totally is

Ultear, Lyon, & Gray; Guilt Complex Extraordinaires

Loke & Gray things :D

Nobody knows if Loke had a house, he always crashed on Grays couch

They are the reason for the sassy man apocalypse

When Lucy lets him have a day off his first stop tends to be Gray

Loke taught Gray how to cook

If Gray gets mad at him, Loke will attempt to deescalate it by flirting

Grayll be scolding him and Loke will stare at him and say smth like “are we about to kiss right now🥰”

it only serves to make Gray more angry

Orange cat friend + Black cat friend

Theyre the type to know in detail each others existential crisis’s but not each others favorite color

they do not have blackmail on each other. none. because they know if they ever did and actually released it the other would post absolutely every single humiliating thing they’ve done ever

There is no such thing as a judgement free zone with them

Their tastes are so different that when they have to get gifts for each other that if they look at smth and think “wow this is so ugly” they know its the right one

they probably hooked up at some point but thats neither here nor there

Loke, Gray and Cana were kinda like the mean girls of young fairy tail

They had a dont ask dont tell policy on their pasts, however every other personal detail abt each other was free reign

A lot of their conversations have left them with a sense of dread, confusion and hysteria

Lokes the type to walk into ppls houses like its his own, his most common victim is Gray

Loke, pulling the shower curtain back: Were out of ch— stop screaming

Gray, still screaming: HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE???

Loke, nonplussed: You left the kitchen window unlocked, also we’re out of chips

SORRY ITS SHORT!!

[sylwanin-was-right]

Teylan also made a comment before making tsaheylu with the plant that they might not be true Na'vi because they werent raised that way and never knew their clans songs and stories. I really like that Ri'nela reassured him that because they held onto their faith (their faith in Eywa) and because they born Sarentu Na'vi but are reconnecting, they are Sarentu Na'vi regardless of their circumstances.

I relate to that on a personal level as someone trying to reconnect to my own cultures. I'm not as close to naming my tribe as Ri'nela, Nor, Teylan, So'lek, and the others, and outside of the game, I know there will be great obstacles to researching my heritage (like the notorious "1870 wall"), but I also know I have a peoples and we were resilient, as evident of our survival, and my life today. Its important to be rooted to your ancestors and to the land as a reconnecting, decolonizing person. But often times imposter syndrome takes over and I feel like I cant or even shouldnt find and name my roots, and honor them in my everyday life through my personal identity.

That anxiety is sourced from many places, including personal issues. But external factors like the forced of white supremacy are a major obstacle to feeling secure in reconnecting. Teylan probably feels similarly, since he among the kidTAP-ped generation was relatively the most suggestive to RDA information. I relate to his anxiety around exploring his roots when faced with their prescence. But I also love the reassurance the whole squad has that nothing can undo what they already are. 💙

[saszaszeszi]

Tw. Vent (SH, gender dysphoria, suicide mentioned)

I feel bad... Why I was born? Someone soo much better could be born, and not me. I cant even be the perfect daughter for ny mom, nor a good kid. I wont be seen as a boy by anyone, for everyone im just a manipulated girl. I cant stop cutting myself every night, my upper thighs start look more like a mutilated body part. I cant even control anything properly. Not my weight, not my urges, anything. Everytime when i dont feel bad i just feel like i shouldnt feel so good. Im having fun, but then i dare to vent avout my problems, when i dont have it so bad. I shoud probably tell it my friends, but i know them very shortly, and im sure they would either abandon me, or just get overly worried, even if im not at point of killing nyself. I want to be loved, but i know how much i wouldve hurt anyone who would try to get in relationship with me.

Im really tired of this, i hope an truck would just end my misery.

[smileymoth]

Im being mentally ill sorry chat

I need to kill myself at this point because I'm never going to get better in any way shape or form. I cant eat healthy because I get fucking weird about it. And I'd be okay with it because frankly I don't care if I make myself sick but at the same time I'm scared I'll die at 40 from heart failure because starvation kills your organs and your heart. But I'd not eat healthy in the first place so would it even matter. I hate that I can't say that I wish I was skinny because that means I'm scum of the earth bc i hate fat people even though I dont I just hate myself and everything to do with me because I'll never be enough for myself because I have crippling dysmorphia that makes me want to kill myself. I can'tlook at myself in the mirror i cant look at photos of myself because i hate my body so bad but i cant change it because i keep fucking eating i need to stop fucking eating i need to start counting calories again if i ever want to be skinny and get surgey god its such a long way to go to be skinny i wish i was underweight i wish i hhadnt gained 25kilos over the span of 3 years i need to kill myself because its all my fault its my fault i cant eat or work out properly or be healthy about it because im too depressed to cook for myself and im addicted to sugar and i have no energy or motivation to do things ever. What if its my fuckibg meds that raise my weight so much what if i went off them what if i stop taking them and eventually kill myself because being dead is bettef than being fat right thats what rhe doctors probably want you to beliebe. I look soooo normal on the outside im like smiling and laughing and i looknormal and happy to other people because i have nothing to prove to them for me beung sick beside them knowing i take meds and me joking about being suicidal. I dont have lost weight nor any scars to show them . God i wish i had the courage to cut my arm up so bad i had to get stitches but i cant because i lovr my mom and my mom loves me toi much and i dont want to worry her i already am terrifued of her seeing the small scars on my thighs . I cant even tell if cutting helps because it gives a nice adrenaline rush but then itd over and i feel guilty bc itll leavw scars that people can see i wish people didnt care aboyt scars i wish they healed and disappeared faster so i wouldnt havw to hide them but i also want them to see because i feel like its the only way i could prove to them that im ill and not just joking about it. I need to starve mtself and get skinny because theb maybe someobe will tell me im pretty because ill finally wear pretty clothes and i need to get rid of my tits and i need ro lose the weight for that abd im so scared i wont be able to . Its only 10 kilos it shouldnt be so scary to lose but i lost 5 in dec/january so before i even went to thw gym and now ibe lost nothing in 2 montjs and its so scary i hatw it i hate that im mentally il i hate that ik not ill enough for anyone to care . Im so pathetic it hurts really i need to kill myself but i cant because of my mom and it sucks . Im never going to get better and im never going to feel pretty enough or good enough in my life im always going to feel like a failure so why am i even trying anymore . I want to die but i dont i just want to be happy but i cant do that so i want to kill myself instead but i cant kill myself soim just stuck in this limbo of wishing i was a better person that im never going to be. I wish i had the self control to just not fucking eatif i cant make proper healthy food for myself i dont deserve it i dont deserve good thibgs i need to get beat up on the street by someone i dont deserve good rhings because i havent earned them im always gking to be a little freak thafs not enough for herself or the world because shes a depressed fat probably autistic freak whose only wish is to be happy and find love that i wont get becayse i cant talk to people. I also need to stop posting my mental breakdowns on tumnlr bc its not helping anyone but here we are. Im not a good person am i

[terraliensvent]

https://ibb.co/wNj5R6Z

When did this become a thing? There's no rule in the server about it. Nor has there been an announcement about this new rule.

Dont get me wrong, i get it. Its a server with minors in it. Its smart of em. But, there is no rule about it that id seen?? Besides that point... How you going to control someones profile like that??

Its not like its going to stop the minors from seeing it regardless. Cause if the two dm cause commission or whatever, they are still going to see it anyway?! And you reallllly cant tell someone they have to change their pfp OUTSIDE the server. Its their profile afterall.

This is 100% why i believe minors shouldnt be involved in CS spaces too. Because regardless of any rule put in place about nsfw content.. They will still see and be subjected to this content if theres a customer/client chat going on due to commissions. You can control a persons server profile, but outside of that... You cant.

And if the adults all start putting in their ads "Please no minors, as it makes me uncomfortable," or whatever other thing they could write... Will probably get bad backlash in a server full of well...children. Including some of the actual adults too. I can just see this being a huge thing from both sides.

The minors being upset they cant offer their art/comms. The childish adults who just cant handle too... Then a big ol whine fest about it all.

Even though the adults are just trying to keep the minors and themselves safe.

But ye.. Either way... This rule should probably be announced and added in bold somewhere. Cause i didnt, nor have seen, this one in this server. Still a worry, but... Still glad its there too.

I just am seeing both sides of what could happen here though.

i mean im gonna be fr, i do not see the issue with this. i think its pretty implied that no NSFW whatsoever is allowed seeing as terras has always advertised itself as being minor friendly, so it would just be looped in with the no NSFW images rule.

there is a trade discussion chat, if the person wanted to keep their actual profile NSFW but have talks about comms they can do it in the other chat, it doesnt HAVE to go to dms

also ive really never seen an issue with people saying they only want adults to commission them, and even if someone complained i dont think itd be received well by other members or by staff

i understand your angle of playing devils advocate but i honestly dont think this is an issue, at best its an attempt to minimize any foul play and exposure of NSFW to minors, and at worst its a measure that, while effective in some areas, has some oversights in others

i know terras has been pretty dead but yall gotta have better topics if ur gonna put it in my inbox lol (kidding)

Editing to add: NSFW pfps/profile banners are also against Discord TOS as a whole. checkmate liberal

[unanimousone]

J, Tues, 12/09/2023

super questioning when i work a 13 hour day and just feel hyped and kind of want to go workout. but i dont think that im going to. i think i'll just take a shower and chill out. i have to go back tomorrow, and i think i will be there til Thursday. they say that that should be our last day, but who knows how long it'll be before they act up again and do some dumb violent shit? so here i am just thinking and thinking some more. about everything. the good and the bad but the good thing is that im not really obesessing about anything specific. i usually will if something is bothering me or on the other side of the fence, if something is sooooo fucking good and i dont want it to end. but i dont really even dothat anymore because i know that it leads to rash and impulsive acts that can usually turn things from good to stupid. and thats not what i want. i mean i do obsess about you but i make it a think to have some control over it. so its in a healthier way than not. i only want things to be healthy with us. and i know that it doesnt always work that way, not at first but it can be accomplished with time and practice. something that im willing to do. more goals, baby!! i definitely have to put myself in check and see the real and not let my mind play too much games on me. and when it does i have to just remind myself that it isnt all about me and that life is happening weather i like it or not so i just have to try my best to enjoy the wins and let go of things that really shouldnt matter to me. but what if they do matter to me? and i just dont know how to go about expressing my insecurities and such? what if the things thast my mind if fucking with me about are things that really need to be addressed so that i can grow further? but no…see im so back and forth. i dont want to sound dumb but i am how i am and idk if you will like that. i think that i may come off as bugging and in all of this i really have no right to even question anything, nor is so much of anything any of my business. but the mind will still do what it does, but to be honest i have seen much improvement in myself and that is something good. i hate my negative behaviors and such and im glad that im making progress towards them. but this is only one thing to be in here and see progress. what about in person? is that gonna fuck me up completely? am i gonna have to learn a whole new level of growth? and am i ever gonna get out of my bullshit ways? i mean wtf is wrongwith me? i have a lot of work to do and i know that i dont want to push you away. i dont want to lose you. its one thing if you happen to go another route, but if im the one to cause the loss of you it would be such a disappointment and i would probably just go into questioning my worth and such, yada yada, well i guess i would feel down if you were the one to decide to go another route too, sigh…kind of hard to explain. im a fucking nut and you have me going crazy for you. its good and bad, i think. but the bad comes from my side of it all. its good because you are fucking perfect and positive and openminded, and lovely, and beautiful, and i could just go on for days. but i just have never met anyone like you and its just great. youre fucking amazing. i cant get enough. and im going to do my best in the situation of "us"

[neurogenesisgirl]

i have been thinking. i tell (text) my best friend, "if i ever do have kids, i think i might rather adopt. i dont want them to suffer from all this chronic illness shit, because i know what thats like."

he answers. "me too" after a second, he follows with: "anger issues are hereditary. my mom, grandma, and me have it; i wouldnt want my kids to have that, because as you said, i know what thats like."

my throat betrays me. i only sit in silence, while he keeps talking about it. i know mental illness is just as bad as physical illness, and even invisibilized, but i cant help but feel... invalidated.

i mean i do not want my kids to inherit all of these health risks, of which ive acquired a copious amount. i mean i do not want my kids to stare at the ceiling at night wondering, "why me? why am i not like the other kids?" i dont want them to be buried in the heavy dirt of endless pain, pain that they'll have to clench their teeth through because thats what society has told them to do. pain that'll never end, because of pointless diagnosis — that burden them more than help them — screaming to them how they will not get out of this, at 9 years old.

i do not want my kids, if i ever have them, to lay awake at night crying, because theyre a "waste of money", because theyre not getting better and theyre not "even trying to", when a familiar incredibly shames them for accepting one candy on a party, at 10 years old.

i dont want them to be put on one hundred pills that specifically KIDS SHOULD NOT BE TAKING, and being gaslighted on side effect statistics; saying it wont affect you. then it does. then they secretly stop taking them, and when their mom finds out, they get a experience they'll never forget. at 11 years old.

i dont want them to face "grown-up talks" about their future, their health, their responsibility on themselves, the way they could even be bounded to rot in a bed if they dont make a change now... at 12. expecting a kid to mature, at twelve. then being yelled at when they start to sob, or try to say how they feel about it.

i do NOT want for them to feel familiar or comfortability on the white silence of a clinic or hospital, i dont want them to feel nostalgic because of that, because they should feel nostalgic because of a mcdonalds playground, not a place where people die, at 13.

the pain, the wheels, wheels of a machine that only exists to perhaps make you suffer more, the endless comparisons with people who have it worse. injections, blackouts, bullying. starting to comprehend all that at 14. knowing its wrong, that a child shouldnt have been exposed to it from a young age, but they cant tell anyone nor say, because they would be hit, hit with a whip of censoring; silencing. by their own parents.

among an ocean of so many things more, i find myself now. 15? when did all that go?

i lost my childhood due to physical illness.

my friend makes a joke, pulling me out of my trance. "we're like ying and yang, dude." he instantly follows with "you deal with physical illness, and i deal with mental illness."

that feels like a sharp stab in the side of my gut.

that makes me realize, isnt this what he has gone through, too? just in his own version. but he has suffered oh so similar things, and he has trusted me to know about it. something he barely does with people.

i laugh. maybe not because i got cheered up, but because i want to hide my internal process going on.

i realized why it felt invalidating.

people can never relate to the honest words of my soul. they always have to change them to their experience, to be able to try and understand. even if — by the book — thats a good way to make people feel less lonely, it makes me feel more lonely.

will i ever meet someone who will understand the deep cries of my insides? someone who will not have to twist its words, anyone with the same perceptive of what ive gone through? not understanding, but comprehending me.

no, i probably wouldnt. because that includes the tiring and vulnerating protocol of opening someones chest with your bare hands, tearing everything on the way, but being careful with each layer; placing them on a desk, to finally hold the darkness of their soul. no one is willing to do that.

im fundamentally different. i have never met someone like me.

even so, i dont blame my friend. we are just teens trying to survive the world.

maybe hes the closest i'll ever get to someone like me.

31 de marzo de 2023

— neurogenesisgirl

[lecliss]

Hmmm... my GTA V is missing from my game case. Geez, I wonder where it could be after a certain trio of cousins said they played it while borrowing my case... <_<

[yuuainnie]

Self aware AU In which you realize the phone your using is taken over by a game character(s) of twisted wonderland.

┌──❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚─┐

You stared at the screen that won't log off from the same app. Your staring at certain character who seems to hacks and possess your device. Breaking the forth wall and shit.

"smh, I never know this could be a thing." You are totally chill about it as you read fanfic on your other phone away from the view of the hacked or posses phone in front of you.

"namechi seems very cool about your phone being possess. Shouldnt you be throwing your phone or something?" Idia shroud commented as he shake his head staring at you from behind the screen.

"I don't have money to buy a new phone, nor this is my personal phone I'm using to play." You added whole scrolling to the fanfic on your other hand.

"namechi, you really think low of me to not look at me while chatting with you? Shouldn't it be super mega rare occurrence of breaking the fourth wall happen to any weeb?"

"can you break the code and make all your cards come out of the gacha without making me broke or something." You ignore the words of the house warden. You saw him sigh in the corner of you eyes as he press the screen of hologram in front of him, Ortho face appear from it. You become destructed by the odd sight.

You don't realize your other phone also been hacked by the younger shroud. You don't notice it shut down and reload with the logo of the Shroud appear in the screen instead of your mobile logo.

"big brother, the mission is a success!" You heard Ortho voice from your other phone as the screen went back to the home screen but the difference is Ortho is on it, like a live 2D wallpaper. The difference is that his more of an AI of your phone now.

"...ok. cool" you commented as you scroll back to the Tumblr app to return to the fanfic your reading before you scream when you saw Ortho in front of the nsfw fanfic your reading... Cough of a twist characters.

"scanning content, analyzing content. Sending context to mobile ####... Wow name, you have odd taste!"

"NONONONONO CANT YOU ALL LEAVE ME WHILE READING...? ORTHO DONT YOU DARE LOOK AT THAT (LAST NSFW FANFIC YOU READ) ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. STOOOOOPPPP." You try to press the back to the home bottom but you don't have control over your phone, you watch in despair and misery the robotic teen reads the fanfic list out loud while being connected to the other phone, which have his older in it.

"your going to hell with that kind of fanfic your reading." You felt very miserable being judge as your browser history being seen by those shrouds. "Oh wow your taste on Nsfw is really going to make you bound to the underworld."

"shut up idia. You probably read the same things on your man cave." You hiss at idia on your other screen, you do notice someone is walking toward idia to look at the content of the browsers history Ortho is scanning while sending from the other phone.

You watch as 3 Ignihyde dorm member stared at your browser history. They all roasting and commenting on it.

"wow you read that kind of tag?"

"wow is that (tag)? Very spicy taste."

"why are you research picture of (game)? Are they twst competition? Your phone don't seems to be able to download it either way. So it's still twst win."

You can't even stop them from looking as the crowd increase in number, you just wait that your phone become drain by all that activity they are doing inside.

The torment last for so long, you went to get break fast. And become immune after the nth teasing.

And your phone is drain. Thank goodness.

└───❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚┘

My mind is blank as I write this crack fanfic of a self aware au in which You get torment by shroud who's pro on anything gadget related and got your browser history read out loud for others to hear

[mrsswaino]

sinful.

frank castle x f!reader.

warnings : 18+, smut, penetration, blood, canon level violence, dark(?).

firstly, what should i do for 200 followers? i wanna know what y’all want cause i didnt do anything for 100 so like lmk. i actually cant tell yall how happy i am yall like what ive been putting out! thank you so much for the support. but anyways - i cant really explain myself. just another high thought. not proofread.

neither you nor frank knew how you ended up here.

well actually, it could be lines being blurred because its just been you two really. but the server at the diner down the street insists you act like a married couple. even when he took you to meet curtis he made a comment. there was absolutely no denying frank castle cared about you. beyond the extent of his ‘mission’.

it just couldn't help but show. in the way after hes half dead, he still looks at the bar turned battlefield to hopefully locate you in one piece. and when he lays eyes on you giving him a smirk from behind the counter, hes killing the guy in front of him on instinct. he was about to do the same to the guy heading towards the counter, until you're stabbing him in the neck yourself.

being covered in blood and gunshot residue was basically the comfort zone. not you being trapped in eachothers arms, and tasting each others lips. but this was probably dumb, anyone could walk in and try to kill you both right now, because you find yourselves dropping your weapons and against a wall of that bar. but maybe it was adrenaline that made you want to taste the blood on his lips.

it feels like it was all building up to this though, right? it can't just all be adrenaline, right? it almost feels like its acceptance. an acceptance of sins, the spilling of blood you both cause, or lust maybe. its kind of hard to focus on what it all means when his lips are on yours, and you're definitely smearing blood all over his face and neck.

when his lips detach from yours though youre being turned against the wall, and you can feel his breath on your neck. he halts though, almost as if hes waiting for a sign of disapproval as if you weren't just practically begging against his lips seconds ago. without a thought youre grinding yourself against him, before his hands are gripping your hips to cease the movement.

in a moment you're virtually thrown onto the counter you were hiding behind not too long ago. subsequently, the hands on your hips are jerking your pants, and panties down your thighs. almost instantaneously youre hearing a zipper, and feeling a calloused hand in between your thighs.

“fuckin’ soaked” frank mutters, rubbing rough circles on your clit.

frank finds you bucking your hips in impatience quite cute. but also cant stop himself from bringing a hand to the middle of your back to stop your squirming, and lining himself up with your cunt. you get no time to be impatient, because hes abruptly bottoming out.

he was truly just as needy as you were, and it showed in his rough thrusts and grunts. the hand on your back is moving to your tit, before effectively pulling your back to his chest.

“this what ya’ want?” frank questions.

you can barley register what hes saying with the way hes pounding into you, let alone respond with a cohesive answer, opting to just moan and grab his wrist in response.

“want m’to make ya’ cum?” he questions, bringing his hand up to your neck.

you just try to nod, but hes clearly not happy with that from the slap you feel on your ass. finally you get a strangled yes out, before his hand is making its way between your thighs again. and of course, almost as soon as he starts making those rough circles again, hes finding out the perfect angle to make you see stars.

you probably shouldnt be enjoying this as much as you are. its just all so sinful. the hand between your thigh. the needy rough thrusts. the hand around your neck. the blood being smeared all over. the winces from accidently grazin each others injuries. its just all so wrong. but it feels so good.

you try matching franks thrust, yet you cant keep it up long because you feel like you're standing on jelly with the way frank has you shaking. now all you can do is depend on frank to hold you up, and make a mess of you.

and he plans to. youre not getting out of his grip until youre spewin nothin but nonsense and his name. you swear youre not far from it already, the only thing grounding you is clawing at his wrist, while you mutter a breathless please.

“gonna make a fuckin mess outta ya’.”

[princeanxious]

:) so. No one ordered it, but, I have an Logan Angst(w/ hurt/comfort to balance it out a little) au idea to deliver!

So you know those AU fics w/ Virgil where he hides smth unusual abt himself( Like wings, Spider limbs, Being unusually tall, ect.) Bc he’s afraid of what the others will think/do if they find out?

Take that and apply it to Logan, But he’s actually been hiding it ever since (AU)!Thomas became Obsessed with Marine Biology as a kid!(i genuinely cant remember what Thomas's real life degree was gonna be b4 he switched to YouTube but for the au's sake im going with marine biologist)

What’s he hiding, you ask? Fish scales, of course!

(Continued under the cut)

Logan used to wear long sleeves all the time, and Sherlock bit with the scarf was a cover up for when he used to wear it constantly when they were younger, not that Virgil(who has spider traits in this but never thought to hide them b4 he was accepted, and by that point there was no reason to) nor any of the other dark sides with animal traits knew about it either, but his body, especially his legs and hips, were covered in shimmery sapphire blue scales, and in patches around the gills on his neck and ribs.

Why doesn't Logan wear long sleeves now? Because the scales suddenly stopped reappearing (coincidentally right around the time Thomas gave up on marine biology to do youtube) on his arms the few times they'd accidentally been pulled off some how, be it bumps/scrapes or eventually Logan getting fed up w/ the illogicalness of it all and 'removing' the rest on his arms so that he could finally wear short sleeves and not raise more questions about his health.

The scales around the gills on his neck are more tragic, as they do regrow still, to keep his gills safe. He plucks them as close to the gills as possible, before wearing masking makeup & a high collar with a tie to ensure his gills never peak out from his shirt.

It limits his normal comfortable way of breathing, but hes been doing it so long that he doesnt remember what it feels like, and thus isn't bothered by it anymore, as his gills dont open up fully anymore unless submerged under water for a long period of time.

Why is he so insistant about thomas drinking the healthy recommended amount of water? Because if Logan didn’t, he'd suffer migraines and get sick from being dehydrated in easily less than half the time it'd take for Thomas or any of the others to reach

Why doesnt he ever go swimming with the others? Because if he did, there's no gaurantee his body would let him leave the water after refusing to so much as even soak in a bathtub for years at this point

Hell, his body might even go into shock at that point.

No idea how his reveal would go, but the idea of the others spraying him with water spray bottles when he is over-dry and resultingly irritable has been brought up as an additional idea by @this-is-ske(my lovely frien who lets me info dumb abt all my aus so we can shout abt them together) and my only thought is that Logan is spiteful and petty enough to snatch a spray bottle and spray them right back.

He often needs to spray himself with water, even if he’d had a shower not two hours ago, because his scales dry out very quickly and its sensory hell in combination with even the softest of dress pants.

But the years of neglect slowly turned his shimmery sapphire blue scales into dulled greyblue, as a result from being dried out and flakey and unhealthy for so long.

He tries not to think about it too hard when he's forced to look at them.

Remus wouldn’t hesitate to toss post-reveal(and post-recovery)! Logan full out into a fucking pool, or just hop into one and drag him in with. "Dry Fishies are irritated fishies, be like me! Get wet and feel better!" *Cue Remus eye brow waggle that reflects to the rest of his tentacle arms*

No but srsly remus and janus finding iut and going "oh HELL no" bc janus knows what its like to not take care of your scales properly and Remus knows what its like to dry out.

Imagine the additional angst when Janus finds out not only about the scales but the gills on his ribs and neck too, and feels SUPREMELY guilty bc of the crook yank he did

"Its fine, its not like I could breath out of them anymore, they just bruised a bit longer" *even more concerned and upset Janus noises*

"What do you mean you cant breath out of them anymore!"

" ..One day they just wouldn't open? Sort of like the equivalent of a stuffed nose, except that they never reopened because they'd fully dried out, I think."

"I swear to god Logan I wish I could strangle you," *cue Janus wapping Logan w/ a rolled up paper, Edna Mode style, lecturing* "One day! You'll understand! Self care! Is good! For you!"

Cue them finally bullying Logan into taking care of them but no longer hiding the scales as the ones on his arms start coming back, but still greyblue, bc at this point Logan doesnt even want to deal with the immediate headache of them learning right off the bat that they Shouldnt Look Like That. He doesnt even really believe that they'll ever change back to their once brilliant blue, thinking it just a fluke with their age or something.

It takes months.

And then one day he wakes up, having been sleeping in the imagination with Remus, having indulged in underwater sleeping as a healing therapy, made better only by the fact that Remus is a rly good cuddler, and his tentacles keep them both locked together in the water, *and* one anchors them so they don't drift away in their sleep.

Remus is staring at him, his chest to be exact, where new patches of scales had been growing to meet in the middle around the gills on his ribs. He looks down and notices theres an uneven patch of brilliant blue peaking out from the sea of comparably grey scales. Then he notes that multiple patches of scales are slowly regaining their hue. It doesn't take long for the others to put two and two together about sick fish with dull scales. It confirms Logan had been sick for Years, and was only Just healing to a beginning state of equilibrium.

For some comfort w/ all this angst, when Logan does see his blue scales for the first time? He smiles, he smiles so wide at Remus. Remus probably falls in love with the way Logan's gills flare out prettily in time with Logan's smile. Logans finally convinced to take care of himself, and the first glimpse of progress has him Beaming for Days.

[chryblossomjjk]

okay i thought abt jk and oc again and heres what i think:

1. There is a huge miscommunication between them.

- oc and jk come from two completely different places. oc has bottled up feelings and we dont know about jk but oc not talking abt her feelings and jk not being specific about how he feels is the biggest issue here.

2. This is a rather personal one but i think it would be better for them to not end up together.

-Oc is a complete sweetheart who WANTS commitment and jk is a freebird who seemingly DOESNT want commitment. jk is having sex with a lot of women and is the most free living guy oc probably knows so it doesnt really make sense for them to end up IF we want for oc to have a happy ending.

3. Jk and Nayeon.

- Jk snd Nayeon go way back. even before oc and jk got to know each other better and still were on the ,,does he/she hate me ?“ stage. Nayeon seemingly has feelings for Jk as well but to see Jk going around with different women but STILL keeping Nayeon as his side piece shows that he doesnt take Nayeon, nor the girls he sleeps with serious. If it was anything serious with any of the girls he is with- especially with Nayeon, it would be clear. But given his attitude and behavior, he just is fwb with Nayeon and she has just accepted this situation but still sleeps with him bc she cant let him go even tho he doesnt return the love.

4. Jk is at fault- maybe without even realizing it.

- Jk cant say shit like: you are so beautiful, my favorite pu$$y etc and dont think the one on the receiving end wont feel smth. this shit is more sentimental and in MY opinion shouldnt be said between fwb. things like: you are so hot etc are things that just scream pure lust but, you are so beautiful, you have my favorite this and that are too far. He also doesnt remember giving her his head which is kind of understandable given the fact he was drunk, but he wasnt drunk enough to not walk her home and have a sentimental talk with her in which he didnt seem TOO drunk.

idk, i just think jk isnt what oc needs. bc she deserves so much more than him. PETITION FOR OC TO MEET LAW STUDENT AND SWEETHEART OF THE CAMPUS JIMIN ! 🤗

- 🧚🏻

BBY I LOVE YOU FOR ALL THE THOUGHT PUT INTO THIS 🤧💖

they are v v different people ! oc has been crushing on him for a while. before they even started hooking up she found him annoying but super endearing. since the first day she met him she was like damn.... he’s cute. and yes by that point he had already been involved with nayeon!

i think she’s so hesitant to speak on her feelings bc for one; he blurs the lines of their relationship way too much like you said and she can’t get a good read on him. and for two; she’s afraid that it’ll scare him away and she’ll lose him entirely :’((

but her seeing him with nayeon in the picture just confirmed to her that whatever they have isn’t productive for either of them at this point even though she does love him <\3

ok but law student jimin tho 👀👀