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#i know it seems that im kind of not making sense
satorisoup · 2 days
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⌗ 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘, 𝐁𝐎 ! ⁝ ( ᰔ )
— timeskip! koutaro bokuto
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ノ fluff. one mention of pregnancy (facepalm). bokuto seems to be a bit forgetful.
𝐖𝐂 ノ 833
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the blinking bedside lamp reads 7:00am, september 20th. it’s your husbands birthday today, and you’re sure he’d love to sleep in after all of the training he’s been doing. you snuggle closer into the radiant heat beside you, enjoying the morning silence before the events of today, until you’re not.
you’re abruptly interrupted by none other than your husbands loud, rather obnoxious alarm. it dings and shouts, and bokuto moves to slide out of bed with a groan.
perhaps he’s just going to the bathroom.
you wait patiently for his return, until about 15 minutes go by and your hair is swept away from your forehead, a pair of lips replacing it.
“… kou ? ”
bokuto seems almost upset with himself that he had woken you. unbeknownst to him, you had already been awake, lying down in confusion.
“ crap— i’m sorry baby. im off to practice, kay ? ”
your eyes shoot open at that, only for your worries to be answered, bokuto was indeed dressed in his practice uniform, gym bag swung over his shoulder.
“ what ? kou— you don’t have practice. they canceled it for today, didn’t you know ? ”
he reels back, almost distraught with the pout that adorns his face.
“ huh ? why would they cancel practice ?! i was supposed to help shoyo learn my cross-shots ! ”
“ because it’s an important day ! why wouldn’t they do that ? you want to practice today ? ”
“ what’s more important than that ! did i forget an anniversary ?! ”
it hits you at the same time the morning sun rises, your lawfully wedded has forgotten his own birthday. you mentally want to facepalm at bokuto for his forgetfulness, so incredibly eager to practice, but you’re dawned with the humorous fact that this is just so him.
and maybe it wouldn’t hurt to play along for now.
you’re now at the grocery store to buy food and some treats, beer and cake, for the birthday party you had planned at your house tonight. bokuto, the birthday boy in question, strolls beside you absolutely oblivious. maybe by now he’d of caught on.
“ what do we need a cake for ? ”
or maybe not.
you’d already sent a text to everyone invited tonight telling them of your current situation, and all agreed to act completely casual until your husband would eventually come to his senses.
you’re now preparing food, cutting up slices of prosciutto as atsumu pops a grape into his mouth.
“ you married n’ airhead, y’know ”
and yes, you do know, you’re sure of it. bokuto suspected absolutely nothing from the friendly visit of his teammate, and nothing by the arrival of 10 more of his closest friends.
perhaps akaashi’s arrival would make him suspect this is definitely more than just a regular get together, considering akaashi is usually never able to take a break from work for these kinds of things.
there’s a loud slap heard from a hand colliding with akaashi’s back, and bokuto’s bright smile is in view.
“ man, did all of you miss me or what ? ”
or perhaps not.
there’s a gift pile that grows with the more people that show up, and bokuto doesn’t even realize it until it’s practically overloading the table.
“ what’s with all the gifts ? ”
he stands next to you, glancing at it once, twice, before his entire face pales and drops into one of pure shock.
this is it. you’ve got him.
“ oh my god— is this a baby shower ? babe— are you pregnant ?! put that beer down ! ”
after you reveal that you are in fact not pregnant, you can tell that bokuto’s visibly becoming more confused and skeptical. his brow is quirked up into a questioning arch, and his arms are crossed over his puffed chest.
not one single person has cracked into spilling the so called “ secret ”, and you decide that your husband truly doesn’t understand what is going on.
kuroo then sits bokuto down into a chair, holding his shoulder as all of his friends gather around. he’s unable to see you in his linesight, only viewing the many cameras that are now pointing to him.
“ is there something on my face ? ”
and it’s not until you round the corner, holding tightly to a cake with candles and setting it down in front of him, that you let it slip.
“ happy birthday, bo. ”
the cheers that erupt from his friends and the kiss on his cheek from you is all bokuto needs for his face to form into a wide smile, blowing out his candles in a final realization as he bellows in a loud laughter.
“ whoops ! happy birthday to me ! ”
no, you didn’t even have to plan a surprise party, because being married to bokuto koutaro is a surprise in it of itself.
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smilingangel582 · 2 days
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The chase
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Hi guys, I am madly in love with this character. And guess what, this is Naruto and Sasuke'a VA! In Japanese. I seriously wrote this tk fic as they speak in Japanese. Omg! I love them even more. Ps. We need more lee!kinich... I summon it!
Summary: Paimon is convinced Kinich is scary, but Aether thinks otherwise. It was a quiet day in Natalan until Aether started a bet with Paimon to prove her wrong. New discoveries were made, and unsurprisingly, a certain dragon lord commits betrayal.
Warning: Spoilers for the nataln archon quest and Kinich's quest, tickling, cuteness overload, Aether and Kinich are very close, but mind you, it's a platonic relationship (can't ship them yet)
"So you Paimon is supposed to believe that Kinich is actually... uh... a sweetheart?" Paimon crossed her arms in confusion. Floating around as Aether walked through the city of mountains, the scion of the canopy.
Aether shrugs, giving her a confident smirk "Well... he may appear blank but he's very nice and he doesn't hide it... not like a certain wanderer ..."
Paimon guessed Hat guy from Sumeru might have sneezed by that mention.
"But he's so cold and Paimon can't really see the guy smile..." Paimon huffs now, as if its the biggest worries for her, "its frightening how blank Kinich is..."
"What's frightening about me Paimon?"
A soft voice made Paimon shrill in surprise making her gasp and wheeze. Aether mildly turns back with a less-reactive surprised expression at seeing the saurian hunter.
"Hi Kinich,"
Kinich greets them politely, "Traveler, Paimon how do u do?"
Paimon recovering from her shock, groans, "Jeez Paimon almost got a heart attack! Stop sneaking up on us like that... your quiet anyway unlike your pixel-poop-mouth!"
Ajaw snarls, "Who are you calling poop-mouth, tiny ant?"
"Oh and Paimon's bigger than you!"
They continue bickering making Aether sheepishly give Kinich an apologetic look, "Sorry about that..."
"I should be the one to apologise..." kinich replies solemnly, making Aether like this guy more for his awkward informal side.
"Ajaw, do you want another time out?"
Ajaw turns to kinich, his mouth dropping in anguish. "Grrr! Fine, fine! I won't torment the anaemic ant!"
"Hehe" Paimon smirks. "Know your place little dragon lord!"
Aether rolls his eyes, "Paimon... behave"
Paimon pouts, looking sideways, "awww alright im sorry Kinich... and maybe Ajaw"
"Maybe??"
Ignoring Ajaw's short snap, Kinich shakes his head, a hand to his chest. "Don't be Paimon. You're actually a kind companion to the traveller..." he adds deliberately after casting a look at Ajaw, "It makes me jealous"
"Huh? I'm more powerful ya know! Oi! Kinich!"
Aether hears Paimon floating towards Kinich, "Kinich, you don't smile much, do you?"
Kinich slightly astonished responds, "I beg your pardon? I do..."
"When?" Partly challenging and partly curious.
"Like... right now?"
They all stared. Even Kinich seemed uncertain about what he just said. Paimon huffs, mildly irritated, "OK so... laughing? Ever dont that before..."
Ajaw floats around Kinich, his pixel hands patting his shoulder, "Haa hahaa would love to see that embarassing sight."
Kinich shrugs him off, the bandana making him seem like he's angry but he's just frustrated with Ajaw.
"All the more reason why I should not"
Ajaw being slightly pushed away but regains balance in air comes swirling back to him with a cunning sneer, "Uh oh someone's a little defensive... afraid I'll exploit a weakness?"
Aether sense tension, usually he would've stepped in to stop Kinich's discomfort with Ajaw but knowing the topic he was curious where this was going.
Paimon is no better now - contrast to Ajaw's scheming malice - she steps in to prompt Ajaw's hint, "Oooh does this mean he does laugh?"
Kinich folds his arms, somewhat wary where this was going. Yet he failed to notice where Ajaw just disappeared.
"I do, but not all the time -"
"Yeah, just poke him like this, and he'll go gyaaahaahaa!" Ajaw swiftly pokes Kinich around the waist close to the small of his back, making him spasm in shock, gasping, "Oi!"
Silence. Paimon's eyes widened, and so did Aether's. They all exchanged glances. Now Ajaw proudly danced and shook his tail, as if he got the best victory after 500 years.
"Kinich?" Aether smirks, now barely hiding his excitement, "Are you ticklish?"
The saurian hunter now stared, knowing there's no other way to dodge the question. He swiftly seized Ajaw's tail, now activating his grappling hook. He swings off till he disappeared through the clouds.
His flight instincts kicked in. Paimon stared in bewilderment, but she was the only one until Aether began to take the one-sided challenge.
Somewhere by the top of the mountains in Scion of the canopy, Kinich cautiously looked by the trees, hoping he had escaped. He knew now or never... and his experience in running away has been helpful.
"Baa! You coward..." Ajaw scoffed, now teasing, "Were you that scared?"
"It was not fright... I just don't like the thought of showing the traveller such an absurd state" he sternly added "and you're officially in time out"
Ajaw grumbled now, waving his small pixel arms "Grr... whatever, but you know Kinich"
"What?"
"Running away doesn't always help ya... when there's a good seeker"
He frowns, looking somewhat confused by this indirect analogy. "What do you-?"
"Gotcha!" Aether swings by instantly now tackling (not on purpose) Kinich as they both tumbled to the ground.
"J-jeez traveller be careful" Kinich groan, now sounding concerned. "Don't use that hook, so lightly"
Aether chuckles straddling him. "Thanks your a nice guy... now ever heard of the saying "you can run but you can't hide" Kinich?"
Before he could struggle he already felt nimble fingers attacking his sides.
"O-ohokay w-wahait tihihihime ohohout!"
His giggles are soft and yet very childish. Aether stares in wonder... he had heard many sweet voices but hearing Kinich like this is like a dream in Nahida's world.
"Wow.. you're sensitive, Ajaw wasn't lying"
Ajaw smirks "Hehe that was one of the weaknesses that I'm proud of exploiting in him"
"You mean the only one?" Paimon scoffs.
"Ah! Took you long enough useless ant"
"You! You pixel weirdo!" Paimon stomps her foot on the air angrily and begins bickering with Ajaw.
Kinich and Aether... well they have other better matters to attend to.
"So tell me, is this spot worse than this?" His fingers creeping towards his hips making him buck in surprise, grabbing Aether's wrists which didn't help, "Ah! Aether!"
"You said my name! Nice!" He gets his hips and then back to his waist... slipping the jacket down a little bit to access the skin.
"Ahaharchons juhuhuhust stohohohop a mihihinute plehehehehease!" Kinich curls to the side, suddenly his laughter getting louder when Aether targets his ribs with swift unpredictable speed.
"Uh oh ribs? That's not good... especially since your swinging around..." Aether smirks, now tapping and prodding his ribs as Kinich jerks to his back to protect his sides. His long lashes damp with tears.
"And you won't be able to swing comfortable knowing how vulnerable here..." he pinches the highest set ribs with indication "Oh and perhaps under here?" Slipping his fingers right under his arms making Kinich let an (honest to archon) a squeak.
"You're a sweetheart"
"Ihihihi ahahahahappreciahahahate the cohohohompliment buhuhuhut y-yohohohour kihihilling mehehe!" He giggles now. Trying to cover his worst spots as much as he could.
Aether laughed, now pausing a little, instead keeping his wrists pinned on either side of Kinich's head to keep him in anticipation.
"OK ok! Sorry, I always had to break the serious guys in this world."
Kinich groans, slightly huffs of laughter now calming down at the small break.
"Ajaw said Kinich has a weak neck!"
Paimon's sudden outburst on that fact made Kinich shiver. Aether turns to her first then back at him, a very mischievous smile that made Kinich shake his head a little, somewhat pitiful.
"Tch! The mighty dragon lord knows what a whimp he is but he still refuses to die.. bahahawahaha" Ajaw cackles in a sinister tone "Oh laugh to death Kinich!"
Aether rolls his eyes, "we are not killing him, just playing around... like friends"
Kinich's eyes that used to be blank slightly glistened with brightness, "Friends?"
"Yup and friends... make friends happy!" Aether wiggles his fingers right over his collarbone and throat lightly. Kinich knees kicked up in reflex, but they didn't stop Aether's fiery determination to tickle him.
"Ahaha Aetheheheher hehehee cuhuhuhut ihihit out! Hahaha ok ok y-yohohohou won! You won! Ok! Just mehehehercy! Mercy!
After that implore, Aether stopped tearfully laughing as well, falling next to Kinich, eyes bright golden and with bliss, "ohoho man that was so funny... im glad I saw this side of you..."
Kinich's breath was somewhat heavier as he managed to grab his composure swiftly as an amazing athlete "I-I uh... thank you traveler... I guess it wasn't that bad"
Ajaw growls, "Awwww, come on! I bet if you got his armpits more seriously next, he might not say that! Come on, traveler, I'm begging ya! Tickle this guy to death -g-gaaaaaaah curseeeee youuuu!"
Once more he just got confined into a space suddenly gone. Kinich sighs as he puts Ajaw away easily, resting an arm over his hip as he gets up now tired but somewhat... relaxed?
"Hey Kinich..."
He jolts when Aether poked his armpit that was exposed, making him stare in surprise "That's round two the next time we meet? And don't listen to Ajaw... tickling isn't something bad... its what friends do to have fun"
Kinich silently debated this answer... smiling genuinely. Perhaps Mualani was right... friends are amazing.
"Well come by traveler... its much livelier here with you around" Kinich offers, now giving an awkward smile.
"Aww miss me already?" Aether grins, then nudged him, "or the tickles"
"Just... you" he grunts, but looking sideways, with a timid look that seemed to have never appeared until today.
Aether will cherish that moment forever and also his laugh.
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la2yn0va · 3 days
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Crazed Deprivation
CW: Crazy Reader.
Character: Feixiao
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——
Feixiao had always known there was SOMETHING off with you. From the warnings and constant worries from your one close friend about your sleep schedule, to your strange tendency to sleep wherever whenever.
She didn’t think much of it at first, until she heard you laughing late at night. The laugh was nothing like the laugh she grew to love from you, rather it was…crazed. Unhinged, Insane, Creepy.
The laugh that made her shiver in fear of YOU. Her own lover. She couldn’t help it anymore, she couldn’t stand being afraid of YOU, she needed to find out what was wrong with you.
She asked your one and only friend if they had any idea what that laugh was about. They were terrified, which made her more curious and scared.
They explained what they knew about your condition. If you miss a day of sleep, your whole mind changes into something dark, crazy, inhuman.
Feixiao couldn’t believe it, what condition was that? Surely it couldn’t be true? If it was, why wasn’t it well known?
She decided to take a risk, and sent you out on a late night mission, a simple escort mission through a borisin camp and towards a remote village.
She watched you from the trees as you effortlessly finished the mission, but then once you left the vicinity your demeanor changed. Your eyes wide, a smile creeping onto your face, bloodshot lines appearing in your sclera.
She watched in disbelief, believing it was a hallucination or a trick of some kind. But then she heard that laugh, the same laugh that made her start this whole ‘experiment’
You weren’t ‘you’ anymore, she immediately knew this was someone else. Your once charming sleepiness was replaced with a fire in your eyes, fire that wanted to see chaos.
She swallowed, her mind screaming at her to stop you before you do ANYTHING, yet her heart told her it’s still you. She listened to her mind once she saw you punching a tree and laughing at the pain.
M/n?: Come out! I know you’re here somewhere!!
Feixiao’s eyes widened, suprised that ‘M/n’ could sense her. She sighed before showing herself, and surprisingly, his eyes widened with…love?
M/n?: Darling!! It’s you!!
Feixiao:…M/n?
M/n?: That’s me, dear~!
She didn’t lower her guard, this was m/n’s face. But NOT m/n. Instinctively, she dodged an attack to her face. Grabbing this impostor and slamming him onto the ground, quickly restraining him.
Imposter: Hey—!! That’s not how you treat your lover~
Feixiao: Silence! I won’t tolerate your trickery impostor! Who’re you!
Imposter:…Tsk…I’m your lover— NGH!!
She tightened her grip, not allowing any movement or smartass responses.
Impostor:…LET ME GO!! IVE BEEN IN THIS BRATS BODY FOR TO LONG TO LET HIS FUCKING MASTER TO CHAIN ME DOWN!!!
Feixiao: Answer my question!
Imposter: For a bitch with ears that reach the sky, you’re fucking deaf. IM NOT YOUR SLAVE!!
He bashed the back of his head against Feixiao’s face, making her flinch and release you for a second. He quickly tried to attack her, but she immediately stopped any movements, grabbing this imposter and slamming him against a tree, keeping his hands pinned ontop of his head.
Imposter: NGHH…!!! Ahahaha…! You know your just hurting this brats body the more your fight back. Right~?
Feixiao growled, seeing her lovers body being piloted like a meat puppet by this freak was sickening to her. She gripped harder, watching this fake wince in pain.
Feixiao: But you still get hurt. Now answer me!! WHO ARE YOU!!
Imposter: Ahahaha…!! Let me tell you something….!! I’m gonna rip those pretty fucking orbs out and— AHH!!
She began to choke him, believing if she can put this person to sleep, then the ACTUAL m/n would return to her. Her idea seemed to have merit, as the impostor was panicking and hitting her, every hit becoming weaker.
Imposter: YOU FUCKIN…. BORISIN SCUM…!!! ILL FUCKING KILL YOU….YOU MANGY DOG…!!!
He threw insults at her, yet she remained unaffected. The only sadness she felt was hitting her lovers body to save him from this scum. The imposter then smiled and began to laugh at the pain, deciding to leave some words of wisdom before IT leaves.
Imposter: Let me tell you….! When you fucking die, this brat’ll mourn…!! He won’t sleep, and I’ll return….!! And when I do…I’ll burn your precious ship….TO THE GROUND!!! AND MUTILATE….THAT PATHETIC ASSASSIN AND DOCTOR OF YOURS……!!!!
He spat out, his laughter dying out as he passed out. She let go, looking a mixed of fearful at the thought and saddened at the events.
She closed her eyes and picked you up, deciding to sleep on it.
-The End-
Sorry this ended abruptly, I got tired.
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semi-senioritis · 3 days
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Im so goddamn nervous for the final round
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With that said though, it seems like Till is crying. Even though the comics have shown Till being a little standoffish with Ivan, I do think that Till geniunely cared about him. So maybe he's grieving him here as well as Mizi. I mean from Till's perspective he literally has nobody left now.
Also noting Luka's heartrate monitor which seems to be hooked up to his earpiece...I guess it helps him keep track of it???
Its kinda hard to read it, granted I'm not a nurse or doctor or anything like that, but I've been trying to find heart rates that might match.
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This is the closest I could find. It *looks* like his heart rate is more on par with sinus tachycardia (again not medical professional here). Its probably a result of his illness (literally cant remember the name of it), but it can also be an indicator of exercise, anxiety and/or stress. So Luka could also be nervous about the final round (which is fair given that Till is a prodigy and if he decides to lock in for the final round, then Luka really could be cooked). He could also just be exerting himself too much with all the movements he does on stage.
I think it would be interesting though, if Luka died not because he geniunely lost to Till, but because he was so overworked and pressured to be this perfect human idol, that he collapses and dies on stage from the stress on his body. From his illness, to hardly being able to eat, it wouldn't surprise me if his body just gave out.
I think it'd also be kind of interesting since the Alien Stage video suggests that he wouldn't be opposed to Hyuna killing him since he doesn't resist when she holds the knife to him.
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Because while Luka is also a victim of the alien stage, it doesn't necessarily negate what he's done to Hyuna and Mizi. And since its obvious he wants Hyuna, whether for geniune companionship or in a possessive-controlling sort of way (you know like how someone who may not have control over aspect of their life might desire to exert their control over someone else to rectify that?), being denied death at her hands would be a bittersweet, karmiac sort of justice.
Also its 5am so if none of this makes sense just know I'm not even fully coherent right now.
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ganondoodle · 9 months
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utterly random late night panic thoughts but
if you read my zelda comic and like it i love and appreciate you but i really do need to be upfront about it being very much a self indulgent enemies to lovers story with a villain at the center that has done bad but isnt bad at his core and is struggeling to come to terms with the fact that he doesnt actually want to be the evil beast he and almost everyone else believes he should be
yes im one of those people ... fake villain fans or something ... i think .. i dont know the rules to that ... q-q
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codacheetah · 4 months
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The start of the Loop segment of the Siffrin & friends twitter QNA, and the message that flipped Loop's answers from silly to dodgy and blatantly upset.
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Loopchat from speaking to Loop 20+ times.
Certified Loop dysphoria post
#isat loop#isat spoilers#i was gonna make a whole semisilly post abt how i think the public perception of loop as 'cunty' is kind of funny#(has bought into it before)#but to be honest it just made me start thinking more abt how loop perceives themself.#loop telling siffrin not to die too early so they have more time to go :( at siffrin's drawing. or well i guess it'd be :#man.#it does....interest me#siffrin seems to not be particularly dysphoric in like a gender sense. expresses interest in body craft but thinks#(You dont mind inhabiting this meat prison for the time being.) as well so#but by becoming a star loop kind of. simultaneously loses the freedom to Change the way they want to. no guarantee bodycraft works on stars#and loses the comfort of inhabiting their own body#congrats on the new body loop! sorry about the dysphoria#for as much as it's fun to poke at loop for being very obvious once you Know#it does. resonate something with me i guess that of all things this is one of the few things that loop isn't very good at deflecting about.#(in the sense of cutting the conversation short before it becomes capital o Obvious they are upset anyways)#i'm aware they were already transgender before becoming a star. but very transgender of you loop#oh! i guess i can say on the topic of cunty loop#it's kind of funny. like im not immune to drawing Cute Loops or making them silly and dramatic and flirty#and i think the thread of Drama they show on top of their not-typically-masculine (ig???) demeanor and flirting with siffrin#makes the perception of them as like. there has to be a better word than cunty but. cunty. somewhat understandable#once more the loop has deceived you. i mean i do think the drama is a little bit real they are a hashtag theater kid#but they have deceived you. you have fallen into their spiderweb of believing they are anything other than the world's most miserable beast#with your help we can crowdfund enough silver coins to buy loop a dysphoria hoodie. if we hit our stretch goal it can have a print on it
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thedrotter · 4 months
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as a little treat i am sharing with you little Aya doodles I've done over the last few days to unwind ww just little expressions based on lines in-game because those are always fun to draw. nothing too special just biscuit
it's Aya because upon doing bizarrely throughout playthroughs of the game for still unspecified project purposes I've gained a soft spot for her she's my daughter now my mental tier list on my favorite characters is so confusing right now
#re:kinder#fanart#aya re:kinder#aya hibino#i state shes my daughter NOW because before i didnt pay too big of a mind to her#but honestly in each different playthrough of this game i gain new appreciation for each character#because fun fact ryou was my favorite character at first just because he seemed nice and was a healer and was nice#second playthrough brought in rei and shunsuke in my mind because they ate it up wirh their roles in the story#meanwhile as time passed yuuichi started to grow on me as i realized he was a little too relatable BASICALLY THINGS LIKE THAT#and spoilers for the unspecified project mentioned in the text just because i feel like it#i also did this because having a transcript of every line just spurred me on becquse of how easy it made things#its much more fun to start doing these kind of line based doodles when you dont have to manually go througj hours of gameplay to find stuff#so just being ablr to ctrl f through a document made me very glad HEUEHEHEBEHR#im still working on it it needs proofreading and polishing on some sides but overall it should be here soon i hope#if anyones interested in it do let me know HUEHEHEBRB i will post it regardless but it would be nice to know if anyone is interested#ANYWAY#as to why Aya seems to have a purse when her sprite doesnt its because her equipment mentions her carrying a yellow pouch#its meant to be that!!!#she looks very goofy with it on made me giggle ngl#(as in. amusement)#it adds more interest to her visual design so its nice to have it there im glad its there#OH YEAH SOME COMMENTARY ON ONE OF HER LINES HERE THAT REALLY PIQUED MY INTEREST#if sayaka dies and shes there to see it (thus. you chose to bring her with you) she has this line#where it implies that shes afraid of dying which makes things sad when she's suicidal#she already states i think her desire is more to disappear than to die exactly but even then it's quite sad#like even if she wants to disappear with how gloomy she's feeling and all the things going around with her parents#shes just a little girl who doesn't want to die😭😭#it really adds a sense of realism to how depression is tackled in game at least for me#that when one is depressed and suicidal a lot of the time it's the wish for this state of suffering to end rather than to actually die#SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER ITS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT UPPED MY APPRECIATION FOR HER
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autisticlee · 1 year
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it kind of sucks when all your friends and family, everyone you know, are all pairing off and getting married and havinf families, except you. you're the only one that doesn't have a partner and probably can/will never get one. especially if one around you has time for you anymore, they never reach out, never get back to you, because they're only focused on their partners and families. you're stuck alone and drift away from everyone through no fault of your own. you have no hope of finding your own partner or no motivation to look for one for whatever reason. the lack of connections while seeing everyone around you having their own can get overwhelmingly lonely at times....
#autism#autistic#asexual#aromantic#these are probably the two factors that put me in this position#im undateable because im too autistic to form any connections with people and cant even make or keep friends around for long#so how would i ever try to date anyone????#and also asexual which makes it harder. and aromantic (not sure what kind if its like demi and i just need to meet “the one”#and form a connection first to actually have any feelimgs for anyone or not sure if I simply cannot experience romantic attraction#either way its a lonely existence in a world where 99% of people pair off or obsessed with trying to partner up#and theres less value/time/effort put on friendships#ON TOP OF being autistic and forming any connections at ALL is an extremely difficult task that seems to always fail on me!#lee rants#lee rambles#im actually visiting a friend and her gf (who is also friend but we are less close) so i know not everyone partners and shuns friends#but they live in another country and i cant visit all the time so it doesnt help this lonely shit feeling all the time D: to have ~1 friend#would be nice to have all the close benefits and of a dating partnership without the physical stuff and pressure of “dating”#if thar makes sense. best friends but life patners. the person is obligated to help me and bw there for me at all times#someone who chooses me first instead of others. someone that doesnt make me their last choice all the time#their very comfortable to be around and we relate and get along perfectly and make up for each others weaknesses#my favorite person and im their favorite person#they usually always say yes to me and include me and im their first choice for eveything#they respect my needs and boundaries and work with me if we have a misunderstanding or disagreement.#its so hard to find people like this. someone who matches me well enough to fit all these picky things i want#someone who would like me enough to be like this. someone im comfortable with and like who fits the energy i want#even if someone liked ME enough and was these thjngs if they arent comfortable or match my energy then i dont want them#im not desperate enough to take Anyone ans im extremely picky about it#being aroace makes any kind of datimg very hard because theres ~less fish in the sea~#but being autistic makes it EVEN HARDER becuase i cant even make and keep FRIENDS so how would i have a /partner/ ?????#sighs. i think im meant to live a lonely life and need to learn to accept it
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qismet · 1 month
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i haven't done a full meta and bio for kisen but as his little notepad grows i feel inclined to share a little bit about him
kisen doesn't have a specific era that i've placed him in or overlapping eras, but he goes no further than the meiji era because within that time frame there manages to be a good 70-100 years before the birth of getō suguru i always thought getō's technique was far too powerful and cool to simply not be linked to someone, or multiple persons that might have held it before him and he just wasn't aware of it and never would be. it's said somewhere that his technique is incredibly rare to be born with and that in the same vein he's a special grade with a one of a kind ability and i just thought, someone needs to have had that and had a slightly mirrored fate. so in essence kisen is just that, a distant relative of getō's bloodline who at the point of his existence, held the same curse manipulation technique. in whichever timeline he's in he's been orphaned or misplaced due to war/other circumstances and i do put a heavy focus on it having been hard for him to make connections with other sorcerers of his time because of his technique and the peculiarity of it, the idea that he does exorcise cursed spirits but then in turn can use them against others, and he does. within my portrayal of getō i have it down that he never truly feels alone within himself, never catches a moment of quiet because he's aware that whatever monsters he keeps in that cage are with him always and waiting to be called. the same goes for kisen. mostly i go about placing kisen in the 17th-century feudal period of japan wherein he takes odd jobs both eliminating curses and people of interest. not of interest to him, but to others. it earns him a living and he can do it both himself, or extend a curse or two to do it for him, there really is no great difference. known as curse keeper, he does this alongside searching for his family, which they are alive as a later testament to the birth of getō suguru but they're small in numbers and have relocated and as we see they later fade out of jujutsu society as a note to getō suguru having two ''normal'' parents and coming from a ''normal'' family
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the-mononoke-facade · 2 months
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Alright, so there's been some talk about whether Shusu is actually a different medicine vendor from Ri Kusu (show Kusu), and at first that was my assumption (or my preference since I found the characterization in the book went all in on the detached, stoic side of things than any of the other things that make Kusu an interesting character). But the more I think about it, the more I'm like "is he though?"
And my wondering about it comes from two places, first being that the theme of disentangling harmful attachments is what the book is named after, and the other is the descriptions of the taima sword both sheathed and released, as well as the descriptions of Hyper/Shingi thoughout the book
(spoilers for Shu, since I've seen more people asking about it lately, as well as including suppositions based on recent lore drops and some minor spoilers for Karakasa based on trailers and the like)
Starting with the descriptions of the sword and Hyper, despite the sword being depicted on the cover being a now seemingly defunct design from older promotional material for Karakasa, the sword is described in the first story, Kama Itachi, as having the kinds of colored stones that are characteristic of the Ri taima sword when sheathed.
When released, it's described in multiple stories with some variation of being "an enormous, glimmering blade," which is also what we've seen throughout the show for the Ri sword. The Shingi of Shu is described with gold, serpentine patterns snaking all along his exposed skin (also tanned but given Shingi also has darker skin, that specific detail might just go with being a spirit of the sword), Kama Itachi mentions gold brocade (it's unclear from what I was ever able to translate of it if it was referring to the robe or the markings, so take that with a grain of salt), Toutetsu mentions the kumadori markings on Kusu's face becoming more elaborate from how they started (compared, again, to Kon Shingi and Kusu where their respective face markings don't seem to have a whole lot in common except maybe the eyebrow area), and then Tamamo no Mae outlines the crimson eyes and silver hair. All of that sounds an awful lot like Hyper and the Ri taima sword (and you know, I kinda figured Fuguruma Youbi would have a better description to pull on as well given how like half a page was Tamenaga just contemplating Kusu's beauty and like, me too man, me too, but ah well)
Could it be a matter of these characteristics being in line with how swords associated with any of the hexagrams with fire as a component seem to show up? It's definitely not impossible, and I certainly don't know enough about how I Ching works to make any certain statements on that, but if I were to speculate on a little bit I noticed poking around a hexagram lookup table, with the hexagrams that are composed of two different elements, it seems to be less about one element being dominant over the other so much as two elements meeting in a certain arrangement to create a new result (and even with two hexagrams composed of the same elements, which of the two elements is on top of the hexagram can drastically change the meaning). So then if each permutation creates a unique end result, wouldn't it also follow that the respective swords would all be pretty unique from each other? How would you even determine that "yes, this is the trigram element this sword is associated with"? By the top of the hexagram? The bottom? The yin/yang alignment of the sword? To my mind, it makes more sense for all the swords (and therefore the spirits attached to them) to be unique to their own hexagram (again, not an expert by any means, I'm open to other takes on how that could work, this is just my working idea of how it works)
So if the swords ARE all meant to be unique, then it's a safe assumption that the sword in Shu is the Ri sword. Does that necessarily mean it's the same medicine vendor wielding the sword? Not necessarily, we don't have any information on what happens to a sword should a medicine vendor fall trying to slay a mononoke; does it disappear? Does the sword spirit die alongside that medicine vendor (especially if it happens after the sword's been released)? And what happens to a medicine vendor if a particular sword doesn't need to be in play at that particular moment, given that it seems from the lore drop that the number of swords in play can go up or down? Does he disappear? Does he get stripped of the qualities that made him a medicine vendor and continue living on as a human? Some kind of unaffiliated ayakashi waiting in reserve for when the sword needs to come back into play? Enter the collective unconscious? Is it possible for this sword to show up the same as it is for a different wielder? All of that is the realm of theories and headcanons for now, but it's not impossible that it's a different hand wielding the same sword (and if it's a different entity, is it a reincarnation of the same soul or is a new one selected?)
With my second sticking point being the theming of letting go of harmful attachments that is the book's namesake, which is a common theme that also runs throughout the arcs of the show (Tamaki and the cat being stuck to haunt the Sakai manor without having gotten any justice for the atrocities commited by the family, the zashiki warashi letting go of being ripped away from the women they chose to be their mothers in this life as well as Shino's letting go of the exercise in futility that would have been using her body and sacrificing the baby she already has to try to right that wrong, Genkei's fixation on his guilt over Oyou's sacrifice, Ochou's futile attempts to meet her mother's selfish expectations, the todaiji feeding the greed and obsession of the suitors and its own obsession with being desired, Ishikawa's drive and tenacity to find the truth persisting even after her death)
From that angle, the various stories in Shu are pretty much in line with that theme as well: Tokuemon's deep-seated grudge against his abusive father, especially when that abuse was suffered in service to an ancient obsession of his family for riches and honors; Hori Mondo's obsession with his late master and the honor that should be able to be assumed with the ruling samurai class which is disproven by his master's successor, who himself is obsessed with proving himself capable of filling his father's massive shoes, Ishiuemon's obsession with increasing his own power at the expense of Zen, who becomes obsessed with becoming Ishiuemon's wife even as she was nothing more to him than a pawn; Kei's attachment to the notion that she's owed something going right for her after a life that's been filled with hardships, Hagino's obsession with her husband's all-but-confirmed infidelity even at the cost of her daughter, Takaharu's not being able to keep it in his pants for the sake of the family he already has, Koharu's obsession with gaining her mother's affection; Shunsui's obsession with being a popular author and narrator and tainting Ofumi with that obsession when he betrays her trust to help get her love letters over to a more accomplished author that Shunsui both reveres and is jealous of; Jinjirou's obsession with getting his family's sacrifice properly honored when everyone around him seems keen to shrug it off; Tadayoshi's obsession with getting his daughter Kaede safe behind the walls of the Ooku and Kaede's drive to meet his expectations even as they bear down on her
I had mused a while ago that the feminist theming, in contrast, seems to be missing, putting more focus on the woes of the men in the story often at the expense of the women around them, but in hindsight I almost wonder if that's actually the point (and I think I'll find a more solid answer to this in Oni, from what I've gleaned so far, so this might be another "put a pin in it" thought as well...but that pin's going to be in for a very long time at the pace I'm going through this book lol). Another common thread with Shu is the letting go of how things used to be with a lot of the expectations chaining these characters coming from the Sengoku era, which just don't work going into the "peaceful" Edo era. While women's rights prior to Edo weren't exactly robust, they were stripped down over the course of the Edo era.
It could be taken, then, that this comparatively larger focus on men at the expense of the women around them is another reflection of moving into and accepting Edo-era paradigms, and also giving a peek into the unintended (or maybe "unintended") consequences of putting safety and control over freedom. From that angle, a medicine vendor meant to embody not just a woman's desire but also what a woman wants to be would also then become gradually less considered over time (and while he never had the kind of involvement in Shu that he does in the show, there is a general trend over the course of the stories of his engagement falling off a little more with each story). Ending the book with Nuppera-hofu, with Kaede losing her face as her father lost sight of why he was fighting so hard to get her into the Ooku ("she'll be safe there and won't disappear like my wife and eldest daughter did"), where it's not even clear which sister is the one being sent to the Ooku by the end of the story but what does that matter when the goal of getting to the Ooku was achieved, then leads in very nicely to Karakasa, where so many women have lost their individuality in service to "the greater good" until it hits a tipping point, the karakasa becomes active and starts upending everything that the Ooku was built on, and possibly even projecting that outward to reflect what's happening in the rest of the country as well
So then to bring it back to whether Shu Kusu is Ri Kusu or not, if being more passive, or more "feminine" starts to fall in line with the increase of systemic oppression women face in this new era, then in order to reclaim some of his own power and agency, Kusu would need to start to be more active, not a spectator but an actor, and then that leads into Ayakashi Bakeneko, where he's at his most emotive, his most active, and pushing the hardest to be in control of the situation, before gradually over the course of the show relinquishing more control to start to shift back into more of a passive spectator role as women start to chafe under the abuses they're suffering in this restrictive period and fighting to get some of their power back, having the second Bakeneko arc happening somewhere in the 1920s (still obviously a lot of problems, both the old deep-rooted ones and the new ones coming from the reactionaries that don't care much for these seeds of more equality between men and women starting to grow, Moriya being the poster boy for that group and their trying to act like they're the victims in all this while they start running out of justifications for "putting women in their place"), but with more power being reclaimed, he then wouldn't need to be quite as active or "masculine" to be able to have the power or influence needed to get the truths from the humans he needs to perform his duty, so then the differences in characterization could be reflective of what is needed for the era in question. It could also be a matter of the Ri sword and the need to cut away attachments becoming less and less necessary over this general period of human emotion, to where the sword is taken out of play by the end of Shu and the wielder of Ri we see in the show is either a new medicine vendor, or the same one but with a mandatory vacation thrown in there to discombobulate him on how human emotion sphere looks by the time he gets back
Anyway, that's a lot of rambling to say there's a case for it being at least the same sword if not also the same medicine vendor as the show, and it's a matter of the framing and themes of Shu not doing any favors to him for highlighting the things that make him a cool character
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fitpacs · 3 months
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countess-of-edessa · 10 months
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the thing about taking advice from anyone on tiktok or instagram including catholic and christian type influencers, parenting advice, relationship advice, etc, or internalizing any stories of horrible relationships and betrayal people tell on those platforms, or reading about all the ways interpersonal relationships can end horribly and be cycled through extremely quickly on those platforms is that you are necessarily then consuming the thoughts and experiences of someone who is willing to put their face and name on a public social media platform to talk at you. and like 1% of those people have a good reason for doing so and the other 99% are completely unhinged. so everything you’re consuming has first gone through the filter of "is this person weird and insane enough to make Instagram reels of themselves crying?" and if the answer is yes maybe their advice doesn’t apply to your life because you’re a normal person who would not do that.
#i don’t know if this makes sense but it’s something i was thinking about today#not that i really live my life according to Instagram reel advice but as a human being when i see something stated as fact i naturally seek#out the parts of it I believe or compare it to my current worldview#and when that person seems to have a lot of “clout” for discussing spiritual things….idk sometimes I’m like wait is this true? should i#believe this? and other times I’m like well is this a real pattern of behavior that can be observed in many people from different walks of#life including my own? this thing that all men do or all women do or the way all couples will eventually behave#this makes it sound like i am constantly on social media consuming hours of content which im really not#I’ll be on a train and scroll a little bit and something gets stuck in my craw#but with me I’m always like am i rationalizing this away because i don’t want it to resonate?#and I think in the case of anything on social media the answer can almost always be no#because im like wait. why would i take advice from someone who has a public Instagram account#im not saying a stopped clock isn’t right twice a day but really how much of my perspective and life experiences can they share in#when we have this totally totally mismatched worldview#(i mean this also applies to basically anyone offering any type of life advice who isn’t catholic about that)#(but when they are Catholics doing this that gives me slightly more pause for obvious reasons I’m like we are on the same team though?)#(and we are but only kind of and i do not have to listen to you because being an Instagram influencer is still cringe in 99% of cases.)
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obsessed with their different reactions to being called starcrossed lovers
#im gonna pretend mattie didnt die and visits them sometimes back in toronto#it's such a cute dynamic they have#the two evil (affectionate) sisters who just loving teasing laura#also one of my favourite things abt this show is the choreographing they do for the static camera#i bet it's so annoying to have to think about but i love watching them all move so coordinatedly through the frame#somehow still making it look natural#also i know laura is the storyteller one and i dont really know enough abt romanticism to make any definitive claims abt carmilla#but having scrolled her blog a bit to figure out her tastes in music and art#i wonder if theres a part of carmilla that kind of enjoys being starcrossed. or doomed in a sense#or maybe she that she wouldnt have CHOSEN this story necessarily but that she has resigned herself to it#on account of her vampire nature#and sees a certain beauty in it#that all her romances are doomed#idk. im still figuring her out#also im reinterpreting that exchange mattie and carmilla have in this scene#carmilla calls mattie a utilitarian which is probably right#mattie then callls her a nihilist and carmilla corrects that to existentialist#and mattie says absurdist at best#but those arent designations like back and forth as i had read it before#it's just carmillas philosophy theyre arguing about. i THINK. or maybe it's both of them#putting a pin in that until ive read more books#also kind of obsessed with how laura and danny and maybe the other humans are so quick to ascribe a morality to the vampires#based just on the 'shes a vampire!!' while obviously by necessity the vampires have spent wayyyyyyyyyy more time thinking abt their ethics#or maybe not by necessity for all of them but to mattie and carmilla it definitely seems like a necessity. or inevitability#they mustve spent countless hours over the centuries talking abt this if they can joke abt it in this way now#and in different states too like i can imagine distraught Im A Monster type conversations but also just sort of academic debates and also#carmilla reading some new book that has come out and mattie being like what newfangled thing are you into now#i guess utilitarianism was also newfangled at some point. theyre both older. but you know#carmilla is a poet. dont know if she writes poetry but she looks at things in a poet's way i think#also dont think shes entirely a romantic but i do think some of her tastes lean more toward the romantic
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suffarustuffaru · 1 year
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I love your otto brainrot. He's favorite person to gush about in this series. I also love your analysis about one of the latest chapters and regarding Otto! ust, chef's kiss.
Anyhow, I would also like to add a crack theory about why otto never talked about his dp allowing him to talk to infants too. In this moment, it very much be because, as you said, he wants Spica to be eliminated. But! We're thinking small here. My question morphs into a more general perspective; why would Otto, and tappei to an extent, keep such information about his dp under wraps for this long, way before these Spica shenanigans? And I feel like the author may want to expand on that regard. Because as far as the rest of the crew knows (and as far as I remember), they know he can only talk to animals. But that chapter states he can talk to any living being (?), which I think may hint to it being a bigger fucking deal than we may realize. Like outside the Louis development, as well as Otto's frustration development, this power in of itself can cause a ripple of what Otto's capabilities are, and to not underestimate it.
So, now I wonder, would tappei utilize this tidbit for more development about Otto's power? What do you think?
aa thank you for liking my otto stuff!! i adore him a lot and arc 8 has me even more fixated on him bc his development is so Fascinating.... and also my fictional character type has always been the weird fucked up ones with terrible morals HAH.
OK ALSO LIKE i love your crack theory to bits. i think like the idea of his capabilities being A Little More Massive than they already are hasnt really occurred to me if only bc 1. i have like one braincell at a time and 2. ottos unhinged anger and various ugly habits (ie: doing things behind his friends backs HAH) were smth i was distracted by (positive) bc its so fascinating and now Finally everyone reading rezero knows hes crazy For Sure and 3. i think like. idk ive always kind of thought that his power is like super crazy like once you think about it. like iirc theres the canonical fact that other people in the fantasy world whove had ottos dp have gone like insane from it, so hes Basically the outlier here. and also hes insane anyway but his dp absolutely has partly to do with it. not only bc it like affects so much of his life with the constant overstimulation he experienced for a big chunk of his childhood along with the other effects it had with how he was behind his peers for a while and it made him socially awkward and anxious - but also like.
animals Are insane. a lot. genuinely. and then you have a power that allows you to understand them and hear their voices all the time. (more under read more bc its Long.)
theres so many fucked up animal facts out there HAH so i suppose that could just take like a couple google searches (god.... if oceans were in the fantasy world otto might go a little insane with all those sea creatures if he ever came close...) but i always feel like ottos learned at least a bit of his ruthlessness from that. and hes Definitely seen and heard shit (dont forget stuff like livestock ahah T^TT or bug infestations or something aljsdfls or the fact that otto would probably be seeing animal friends eat other animal friends or before he even knew he had his dp he could be eating some cattle he had a convo with like twenty minutes ago and ALSO garf and fred have their meat pie recipe that they adore and its like. that meat came from an animal and otto has most likely seen them make their meat pie before). but like nature is nature. its not always. Nice. survival of the fittest and things just die sometimes (ottos made various animal friends throughout his life and Many animals have smaller lifespans than him as well + some, such as bugs, are more fragile than him) and animals take actions according to their Nature (even if its. Bad, by human moral standards.) and all that - so i think the double whammy of ottos dp and him taking on merchant ideals is very much partly why hes so insane fr HAH.
I WENT A LITTLE OFF TOPIC BUT no yeah i agree. and i just think his dp has always been such a huge factor in what makes him so dangerous - its not only helped mold him into who he is as a person (especially when you remember that the rest of his family are Normal People and he Very Much Is Not Normal) but also like you said. his dp makes him extremely dangerous especially with the new information that he understands babies. iirc otto didnt Necessarily keep that bit of info under wraps - at least not before he met the emilia camp, bc the text said something about how hed take on side jobs where he babysat infants and hed be good at it bc he can understand the intent behind their wordless "words". and i definitely think otto - and tappei - havent really said anything on his ability to talk to infants before this bc it just hasnt come up in much relevant context until now. BUT I ALSO THINK YOU HAVE A POINT bc this does open like. a bit of a can of worms. theres these 2019 tappei qnas where he talks a bit about otto understanding "intent" -
Q: Is Otto's Blessing of the Spirit of Words limited to sounds that the speaker understands? Can he translate something Subaru wrote down in Japanese, or something that someone reads out loud phonetically without understanding it's meaning?
A: He can't. It's a blessing that conveys the intent of the other person's words, so if you said something like "Honbaradaratodetta", it wouldn't mean anything. It's just that, if Subaru had been saying "Honbaradaratodetta" for years to mean "What's for dinner?", it would convey that.
Q: About the "Blessing of the Spirit of Words" that Otto has, in cases where the same word can contain different meanings, can he discern the difference? (The English word 'servant' and a servant from Fate, etc.)
A: It's not the letters, but the speaker's intent that he picks up, so he could tell the difference.
--
but no yeah like........ ottos dp is specifically about Animals and well. humans and demihumans ARE animals. so it makes sense that it carries into humans and demihumans a bit so the whole catching someones intent thing is super fascinating and i feel like he could Definitely utilize it for more of his schemes?? esp when you combine that with the usual ways he uses his dp with animals - his power is Perfect for spying on others and gathering info in general. from my understanding of his power though, animals have to agree to help him, but given he can communicate with them and hes. well hes a good talker and also a bit of a manipulative bitch (affectionate) so like getting animals to help him doesnt seem like too much of an issue usually for him. so no but yeah his power is like. Off the Charts. and now we got big confirmation in the main story that he can UNDERSTAND PEOPLES INTENT BEHIND THEIR WORDS....? no yeah i think tappei will at least utilize it for the louis-spica plot things (ie otto wants her dead so hes just not gonna say anything about how he knows her true intent isnt to actually hurt anyone).
but i feel like otto could possibly use it for plans... or accidentally catch tidbits of info he shouldnt. im not entirely sure how, but. well. roswaal still hasnt delivered on his promise to kill everyone if even one person subaru cares about dies and Now roswaal knows that 1. otto plans to continue opposing subaru and emilia and keep pulling strings and 2. subaru wants louis to stay alive because he cares about her. it seems like massive emilia camp inner conflict is bound to happen at some point hah... the current situation is a ticking time bomb T^T and thats ON TOP of otto still working on restoring the book of wisdom... it all makes me wonder if otto will overhear a convo he shouldnt and catch the true underlying intent to otherwise innocent dialogue. or something like that.... or if louis's intent fluctuates in some way which otto will be Very aware of. if that happens. or if someone else somehow figures out ottos hiding the fact that he knows louis is innocent via his dp alsdjflsjdf. or maybe roswaal hints at his genocide plan and otto figures out the intent???? everyone is at a stalemate atm fr and im fascinated to see what comes next.
though. ok given otto went insane hearing the white whale..... well you could just fling mabeasts at him and maybe he'll shut up lajsdlfj bc using his dp (especially when overusing it gives him nosebleeds and headaches and pain and etc etc) against him is a Viable strategy to stop him among many others but like. the problem with otto is that hes persistent and Will hold a grudge against you if you wrong him. like i really do feel like he will hunt you down if you do which is the big Thing with otto. T^T hes unpredictable!!! especially now with arc 8 where hes been dragged through all these dangerous situations he did not sign up for and he just wants him and his friends to be safe but said friends want to save a whole country and NOW a sin archbishop alsdjflsjd.
like i really feel that hes so tired of things happening throughout his life out of control (remember his bad luck T^T and the way his dp used to fuck him over in his childhood? yeah T^T) that hes been trying to exert more and more control over his camp. bc like. vincent asking the emilia camp for help was nudged into that direction by otto. ottos also stepped a bit out of line by being hostile to julius and anastasia bc. otto that shit was unncessary aljsdlfjd theyre your camps allies!!!! and now ottos letting his camp be sus of louis by keeping quiet about her true intent. like otto is straight up like. hes kind of possessive of his camp isnt he? bc hes so fixated on making things go the way he wants (not that he wanted to help vollachia, but he wanted to help subaru and emilia which is why he pushed things in that direction, and now he wants to kill louis). it all makes me wonder if he'll ever have to use his dp against his camp given hes. kind of already doing that by lying to them - though itd probably be difficult to use his dp more actively against them if only bc they all already know what his dp is. theres no element of surprise there, but i think with the right circumstances he could possibly use it to figure out Something at least. bc like while he Does feel guilty, there is next to nothing stopping him from doing more shit on top of the shit hes been doing so far in arc 8 HAH. his moral compass is just literally broken and pointing straight down to hell. that mixed with his stubbornness and intellect and anger is like. well anyone going against otto is pretty fucked.
like. what is stopping him from sending a little bug to spy on subaru at all times. probably the fact that subaru and co. have a high chance of maybe noticing it and noticing that ottos keeping. too close of an eye on them. which would stop otto and his new declared "i walk in darkness" goal but all of this keeps making me wonder what lines otto WONT cross. and how far hes willing to go to do what he thinks is necessary to save his camp. and also what the consequences of his decisions will be.
but also like............................................... ok time for a crack theory of my own are you ready. anyway. can you imagine if ottos dp extended into fucking mind reading or something............ HAH.
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ozymoron · 7 months
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reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)
#⚠️#personal#having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason#cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin#clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person#regardless of what the actual post is about#i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions#cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have#the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy#idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person#the fact i even struggle with this#sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me#maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared#cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping#how much is too much when do i stop#<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense#like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of#those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do#this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something#cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man#im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion#i feel like most times its both#i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like#showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online#idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd#vent#so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again#lord i need to get out of here
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reginrokkr · 2 months
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I think there is something that I didn't get to say openly, which is that I'm not opposed to pre-established relationships! This comes from a place where I know that sometimes it can get boring, maybe even draining to start from the beginning every single time with everyone.
So what do I understand by pre-established relationships? It doesn't have to be necessarily anything yet, meaning that say we want to skip past first introductions or to venture a tad further down the line of our muses' relationship and work from there, I'm down for it. These can always be discussed via IMs and be referenced in the interactions we have. Moreover, suffice to say that I'm not chronologically-locked, either. While yes, I do like to see how things go in order, I'm aware that time constraints and other matters won't always allow it. So long as we don't forget that we have pre-established something that has room for deepening via meme thingies / IC asks or even another thread running at the same time than another more in the "future", I'm cool with it.
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