#i know its gonna be rough at first but I know it'll get better

[weevmo]

Working on some Corduroy Stew comics !

Little non-canon bits focusing on character interaction WHICH may end up being kind of rough and cringe at the beginning butdon'tmindmee -

[front-facing-pokemon]

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[rafeandonlyrafe]

sore and satisfied

words: 1k

warnings: 18+ only!!, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex (reader is on birth control), dubcon!!, mentions of baby trapping, kinda pregnancy kink? its more of a control thing, dom!rafe, kinda fluffy at the end??, manipulation, bruises

“no.” you whine, feeling rafes rough hands cup your cheeks as he raises your face up to meet his. “im still sore from last time.”

“but you felt so good, right?” rafe questions, his lips ghosting over yours, his breath hot against you, making your mouth drop open, expecting the fierce kiss.

“yes…” it did feel good, even through the rough pounding and spankings and rafe gripping you so tightly you still have bruises.

“and ill be much gentler this time, baby.” rafe finally gives you a kiss, and it's like he's trying to convince you of his ability to stay gentle as his lips glide over yours.

“promise?” you whimper, hands gripping onto rafes shirt as you already start to go weak in the knees.

“of course baby.” rafe grins down at you, and you should have known what that grin meant, but you let him take you upstairs anyways.

his hands are gentle at first, undressing you carefully and praising you, celebrating every inch of your body that gets revealed.

“such a pretty pussy.” rafe says, cocking his head to the side as he looks between your thighs. “already looks ready for me to fuck.”

“need a little-” you're about to ask for something, for rafe to use his mouth again or rub you with his fingers, anything to open you up more, when rafe stands suddenly.

hes stripped naked before you can even blink, cock hard and jutting from his muscled body.

“i thought you said-”

“i haven't been rough yet, have i?” rafe will fight you to get inside your cunt if he has to, but he prefers you be pliable enough for him until he begins fucking you.

“n-no.” you admit, spreading your legs a little wider. sure, you'd prefer to be a little wetter, but if rafe is taking things slowly and gently you should have enough time to open up.

“exactly.” rafe says, letting out an exasperated sigh. “im gonna fuck you now and i don't want to hear you complaining.”

that's when you know you're really in trouble. rafes nice streak is done as he lays himself over your body, not bothering to hold himself up and dropping his full weight onto you.

“rafe!” you squeal out as his cock pushes against your entrance, hesitating for just a beat before he's pushing into you.

to rafes credit, he holds back somewhat. waits just a moment before he begins his punishing strokes, so hard and fast your head is instantly spinning.

rafes hands grip the same bruises on your hips, deepening them again, turning them into darker spots for everyone to see next time you don a swimsuit.

“mine.” rafe growls out, pressing a harsh kiss to your lips that's all teeth and tongue. 

you let out a cry when he bites your bottom lip and gives it a tug, but the rush goes straight to your traitorous pussy.

you can feel your wetness growing as he fucks you, your walls becoming slicker and easier to move against.

“that's it.” rafe praises you. “can feel how much you like this.”

you want rafe to stop teasing you, it's bad enough he's abusing your pussy, he doesn't need to add to it with his words too, but even as your hands come up to cover face, he continues.

“my little slut. bet you can cum from just my cock. won't even have to touch your dirty clit to have you gushing around me.”

you know he's right. you can feel your orgasm building despite wanting to beg rafe to slow down, feeling the near painful stretch inside of you and the soreness growing exponentially as he fucks your already hurt pussy.

“soon you're gonna always be ready for me. ill rip your panties off and you'll already be soaked. and the best part is-” rafe is grunting as he talks, his fantasy expanding as his cock pummels you. “you won't even mean to. it'll be your bodies response to my body. trying to protect itself, make it easier, cause less pain.”

“and it will be better for both of us then. you just need to adjust to this, baby.” rafes voice moves to an almost sweet tone, so close to comforting if it wasn't for the fact that he's taking you raw as he talks. “then ill be able to fuck you so easily. and as often as i want without having to worry about your little pussy hurting.”

“okay.” you whisper. you're not sure if you can form any more words, but it's satisfactory enough for rafe as he presses a kiss to your lips.

“gonna cum inside you real soon. gonna fill you up. think you can get pregnant for me baby? swell that little tummy up?”

“rafe.” you pout, a few tears slipping down your cheeks. “stop teasing.”

“aw come on, we both know you're on birth control.” rafe rolls his eyes, but it doesn't stop him from imagining claiming you, showing the world proof of your fucking, proof that you're his and only his.

“but one day ill get you off of it. if i can't convince you maybe ill just have to switch your pills out for placebos. you won't even know until your tummy starts to swell.”

“rafe!” your tone is harsh, and it doesn't go unpunished as rafes thrusts reach even deeper, so far inside of you that you're squirming to get away only for rafe to hold you down into the bed, the mattress squishing under your combined weight.

“gonna cum right into your cervix since you're being a brat.” you can feel when rafe presses against it, your eyes widening as your high suddenly breaks, wetness gushing around rafes cock just like he knew would happen.

your pussy clamps down on rafes cock, keeping him sucked in as he starts to cum, long spurts releasing into your cunt as rafes moans and curses fill the room, echoed with your quieter whines and gasps.

“how's your pussy feel now baby?” rafe asks.

“sore.” you pout, which rafe quickly kisses off your face as he pulls out.

“fine, won't fuck you anymore then since you always complain about it hurting.” rafe shrugs, feigning like he's getting out of bed when you grab his hand and pull him back to your side.

“no!” you say quickly before taking a breath and settling in next to rafe. “no, i never said that.”

“exactly.” rafe puts his arms around you, tugging you into his chest, keeping you close to him, right where he wants you always.

[dwaekkicidal]

Bro I honestly love your work fr. Anywayyyy

As a Chan biased person who is 5'9 I wanna know your thoughts on skz with a partner taller or older than them. Like who would be most likely to have a partner taller or older than them and who would be least likely<333

hehe ty

OT8 with Taller!S/O

Most

Felix & Han

100% Love it the most 😭They're the babies of the group (and i stand by this always!!) so they're gonna love feeling/being smaller than you

they love the cuddles soo much :( it makes their days better, whether theyre big spoon or little spoon (they prefer being little spoon with you but you'll never catch them complaining about being big spoon if you want it <3)

wont hesitate to ask for your help if they need to borrow your height (and 1,000,000% will sit there ogling you with a cheesy smile while you do so)

Changbin & Chris

are indifferent about it until they realize just how much they like it... (changbin especially lol)

live up to the whole "tall or short, i dont care!" mindset until that first time you really tower over them; be it helping them get something from on a high place or if you kabedon them, even if its a joke, it will trigger this "oh. thats new." feeling in them 😭

will act like they hate when they need you to help with something because theyre shorter than you, but looove when you help them like that :'') & bonus points if you condition them to getting a (forehead) kiss after getting something thats too high for them

Seungmin & Minho

are the ones to actually be indifferent about it and stay indifferent the whole time lol. i'd say they will definitely have their moments of, "oh fuck, maybe i do like being smaller sometimes.." but for the most part will just not care and will genuinely not notice

also can and will make fun of you for being taller than them,,, expect being called shit like "(My) Namsan Tower" 😭😭 BUT ALSO this is very endearing (at least imo) because Namsan tower has that area where people will put their and their lover's initials on a lock and put it on the fence "for forever" so in reality it might be a tease but its also one of their biggest & most discreet means of saying"I love you" ever :'')

would rather bust their asses climbing something than ask you for help

Jeongin & Hyunjin

I think they would like it the least, at first. and it's only because they're used to being the taller ones in the group and amongst some of their friends, so it'll feel foreign for them to spend so much time with and be so dedicated to somebody taller than them lol

that being said!! they both would quickly learn to love it; Hyunjin would eventually be indifferent about it most days, but would absolutely love it on those rarer occasions

meanwhile Jeongin would learn to love it as much as 2Chan😭 hes not huge on PDA as is so you won't see it "in action", but there will be times where you notice it. especially if he's had a rough day/week, he will come up to you with the biggest frown and ask to cuddle

and if you dont baby him + make him feel small/completely surrounded by you, he will pout even more (but probably wont blatantly say why he's still upset😭❤)

Least

in reality i would put Jeongin above 2min, but for the "not liking it in the beginning" im putting him with Hyunjin at the bottom :3

[bonny-kookoo]

Hi Bonny, still Unstable.

What about a moment where JK's memory gets triggered and its a bittersweet recollection, like a first time where someone properly takes care of him, but MC does something similar and he feels ten times more the effects because she does it so much better...? Or something like that...?

Thanksss

-> Masterlist

Jungkook is curious.

You've been doing something he early isn't supposed to see- you've always got your back turned towards him, and you always take whatever you're making back to your room whenever you go for a full on rest. Which is something he's been wanting to ask you for a few days now.

He wants you to.. rest with him. Not just short naps, or company while you're awake.

He really enjoyed that one time you slept on his chest- the weight of your body, the scent of you, the feeling of your chest rising and falling with every breath- it all had an odd sense of comfort to it for him he can't explain. Maybe it was the clear display of trust in him. Maybe it was just.. the fact that you were willing to be so vulnerable so close to him. He's not sure.

Whatever you're making, you're protective of it. You never leave it out of sight, you spend hours of work on it every day, and you take it wherever you go so he doesn't ever get even just a glimpse of it. It makes him wonder.

It makes him.. hope? Maybe it's something for him? Is it a gift maybe?

It could also just be something for Jin, or yourself. He shouldn't think too greedy- just because you're both on a friendly basis now, and share a nest here and there, doesn't mean you're mates or anything. You see him as a provider and protector maybe at max- he shouldn't try and want more. He should be happy with what he has.

He sighs, as he rubs his eyes, and moves towards the nest he made in a cooler corner of the ship, near the other corner of the windows. It's a bit further away from you, but it'll be fine- you probably wouldn't want to sleep there with him anyways, since it's cold here and not as brightly lit as the other nesting spots. That's fine.

Just as he settled in the blankets and fabrics, he can sense you approaching, before something is placed over his body. It smells like.. you- its clear that whatever it is, it's soaked up your scent over time. His hand grabs onto it, pulling it a little so he can look at it, and he notices how soft it feels.

It's a blanket.

You made a blanket for him?

"It's a bit short.." you giggle, noticing how much you underestimated his body size but he almost protectively holds onto it when you try and take it back.

"Its-" perfect. It could've been just a tiny baby blanket and he would've felt as if he didn't deserve it.

You early put a lot of effort into it, and as he sits up and looks at it, he notices that he's never seen you use this type of yarn before. "I sold some of the.. little animals. When we re-fueled." You admit, sitting down in front of the nest he's sitting in. "I saw the soft yarn and thought.. you know, since you said you only like certain stuff?" You shrug, and he just watches you with eyes unreadable.

That's because he doesn't know what to think.

You clearly don't know how much a gesture like that means to him. He's been given a blanket before, but never one that's.. self-made. He always had to work for it, pay for it- but you clearly want nothing in return.

You just made one because in your opinion, he deserves it.

You yawn, hand covering your mouth, and he can't help himself. He can't hold himself back from pulling your wrist closer, helping you into the nest before he covers you up with sweaters and shirts and blankets and even bedsheets. You gotta stay warm. He knows it's cold in this corner but he needs you close now.

"Kook- I'm gonna need to actually sleep though-" You laugh, finding his concentrated face cute more than intimidating now. He's really lost his rough edge to you now that you got to know him- he's no longer intimidating, even when he's upset or angry or whenever he's too rough or clumsy in doing things or handling you. He's not evil. He doesn't have any ill intent.

"Then rest here." He growls. "Sleep here. You're warm, and it's not that bright." He argues. "You need darkness for your circadian rhythm right?" He mumbles mostly to himself, before he gets up and rushes towards the control console, tapping away until the lights turn off, except for a few blinking one's and some of the screens, dipping the entire center in nothing but the light of the stars outside, and the blue-ish hue of the small control screens here and there.

Only now do you notice that in the dark, his eyes are kind of reflective. But what's probably meant to instill fear of a predator in you, simply doesnt.

"There. Now sleep." He huffs, quietly adjusting the nest around you as he's back at your side, the blanket you made back over his shoulders, when you smile. "What?" He asks, a bit annoyed and clearly a bit unfamiliar to giving out any form of affection.

"I like you." You say again, and he cringes at you.

"You said that before." He tells you back, and you nod.

"And I'll say it until you finally get it." You giggle, making him look at you rather frustrated.

"Until I get what?" He asks, but you just shrug, closing your eyes, settling to sleep now-

And he's left with himself for a moment or two, simply watching you fall asleep, before he settles down next to you as well-

Darkness and silence hugging you close, as you drift through the galaxy together.

[devilish-blue]

Hi 👋 Could you Maybe Do Miguel Diaz x reader? Maybe Reader gets Miguel high for the First time and they Bang it out high asf 🙏

HIHIHI!!! So this is actually the first one I'll be writing as I've finally got time on my hands 🙏 I absolutely love this request so your request is my command! <333

"High..."

Miguel Diaz x GN!reader

!Warnings!: Mentions of drugs, Mentions of female anatomy (AFAB), Dirty talk, Mentions of spanking, unprotected sex (Don't be silly, wrap that willy.), p in v. (I think that's it.)

!!NSFW UNDER THE CUT!!

You were a stoner. To put it as simple as possible, you smoked a lot of weed, and your boyfriend was always curious but way too nervous to try it. Until finally, one Wednesday afternoon, after telling him everything feels so much better when high, he agreed. So now you two were in your apartment smoking a joint, but of course you were the only smoking it as of now because he was starting to chicken out.

"Miguel! Come on! You promised." You whined as you held out the joint to your obviously nervous boyfriend.

"I know! Its just, what if I...I don't know...Suffocate?" He said wearily, looking at the joint with nervous eyes.

"Then I'll give you mouth to mouth, or something!" You said as you handed him the joint, watching as he took it with shaky hands. "How about this, you smoke a quarter of it and I'll suck your dick. Deal?"

And that seemed to be all it took for him to start smoking the already slightly smoked joint. Of course he coughed the first few times, and started freaking out, but eventually mellowed. About an hour had passed and the joint was gone, and you two were higher than the alps.

And not one to break promises you were now stuck in between Miguel's legs as you sloppily sucked him off. Running your tongue along the sensitive veins, and the head of his cock made him shiver and groan with delight.

"Fuck, baby. Just like that...Take it all down your throat.." He said as he pushed your head down to where your nose was touching the dark patch of hair at the base of his cock. You gagged and looked up at him as your drool started to pool around his base. When he finally let you up for air you gasped and looked up at his panting form.

Standing up you stripped out of your clothes and got on top of him, pulling him close and kissing him with hunger. Reaching down and grabbing his member you aligned it with your cunt and slowly slipped it in, feeling his thick cock stretch you out nicely. you threw your head back and moaned as he bottomed out listening to his loud moans. He let his hands roam your your body as he put one nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting, and pinched the other, rolling the sensitive bud between his fingers.

Once he felt you were adjusted enough he quickly started thrusting in and out of you, his grip tightening on your breasts. your body lurched forward at his aggressiveness as you clung to him, unable to control your moans.

"Holy shit...Miguel, slow do-down.." You stuttered out as it was already becoming too much for your already sensitive body to handle.

"I'm sorry baby...Fuck, I'm so sorry but you feel way to good." He said as he gripped your hips, making you match his thrust, his cock hitting that certain spot that makes you see stars. Miguel's body started to shudder as he felt a tightness in his own core. He lifted one of his hands and slapped your ass, hard, knowing it'll leave a pretty little handprint.

You yelped in surprise and couldn't help but bury your face in his neck as you babbled out, "Oh Gods, I'm gonna cum.."

Miguel nipped at your skin and whispered in your ear. "That's it, cum for me baby.." He mumbled as he continued the same rough pace. And cum you did. Your body shook and shivered as you cried out, the wave of your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. And he wasn't long after. Shortly after you came he quickly pulled out and stroked himself a few times before thick hot spurts of cum covered your stomach.

There, you sat in the aftermath, entangled on each others arms. Her placed his forehead against yours and looked at you with red, sleepy, eyes. "That wasn't so bad, after all.."

AN: I really hoped you liked it guys!! <3333

[sukunasweetheart]

Headcanons for sukuna as a volleyball player - idk if i wanted this to be set during highschool or not so i guess it'll be kinda generic or all over the place haha,, dedicated to @luvkun4 my love, who likes haikyuu and sukuna so its a perfect combo for her

warnings; NSFW, throat fucking, rough and angry sex, degradation, femme reader, youre kinda his pocket pu$$y but also his sweet gf, minor angst but with happy end -- this wouldve been a good fic but i dont have the energy for a fully written fic nowadays, im alr working on a billion rn

edit; THIS ENDED UP BEING SO LENGTHYY sorry, i wanted to add in the drama

right.. idk from where i should unpack this

we all know... sukuna would be competitive as fuck.

i know for a fact that he hates losing so much

which is what makes him such a good player tbh, the balls not gonna touch the ground as long as hes around

he’s a wing spiker, and definitely the ace (cough, totally not inspired by this gorgeous fanart)

hes so mean and arrogant but is willing to demonstrate teamwork in order to win and so theres obvious respect between him and his teammates

uraume is the manager, tho its clear that they favour sukuna the most pff

sukunas such a powerful player, no one can beat him one on one and hes so sexy when hes playing seriously

volleyball sukuna and his fuckin horse cock, u bet u wanna get wrecked by his shii

problem is, i cant find a creative way of how yall first met 

idk, probably through mutual friends, out in a big group at a restaurant ?? maybe you hooked up with him afterwards and you both caught feelings for each other

yeah something along those lines

anyway ofc seggs after matches are a regular thing haha

its almost an expectation that you come to see his games now

here comes the smut smut smut

vb sukuna would totally drag you into the unisex bathrooms so you can “help him relax” right before the game starts...

nothing like cumming down your throat to get him all warmed up

and youre such a whore for him, you can never say no bc YOU DONT WANT TOOO <3

even tho you make a fuss about the icky floor pfft, he grunts and lays a bunch of toilet paper for u to kneel on, what a gentleman

his soft groans as he lodges his thick cock into your warm mouth, and then pushing your head down to go even deeper

the pleasures just too great, the thrilling mixture of being in a public toilet right before a big match, fucking your tight throat raw

and your teary eyes, fluttering your lashes up at him with a mouthful of dick, he could laugh from how adorable you look

after hes done spurting stringy thick ropes of his seed down your esophagus hes just: “thanks babe... you sucked the nerves right outta me.”

and you know its bullshit bc hes smirking in that sarcastic way, and its a fact that sukuna doesnt know what it feels to be nervous!!!

lucky for you, he treats you better than anyone else - he wipes your mouth and kisses you before parting ways with you

likes to give you another smirk once he finds you amongst the audience

its crazy how much energy he still has after games

on the rare occasions when his team loses... oh boy

100% takes his frustration out using sex

just thinking abt the simmering anger...practically throws you onto his bed

pins your body down and slamming into you with his whole body weight

ruins you so bad, bruises and bites literally everywhere

but like... you’re into that shit

butterflies in stomach whenever the other team ends up winning

“ugh...fuckin’ squeezing me like that... you don’t want me to stop, do you?”

“maybe you like it when i lose a game. what a whore.”

“sukuna...sukuna, too bi-big..”

“oh? and you’d think this cunt would be pretty used to it by now,” he responds cockily. it turns you on when he uses such vulgar language.

spills so many loads into you, youre like a cream filled donut by the end

spanks you too, handprints on your ass and all - omg imagine the strength as a vb player

the aftercare is nice, usually he brings you to the bath immediately and check you out if you need ointment applied to your skin or vice versa

but it wouldnt be surprising if he got lazy with it on some days, especially after an exhausting game, having sex on top of that is gotta be tough

also he spends a lot of time training and practicing, which adds to your loneliness

sometimes you overthink it and feel like youre just being used, but instead of communicating it, you just act more sensitively around him

and vb sukuna sucks at picking up the small cues, so he just thinks youre being unreasonable

the two of you get into a pretty heated argument which ends with you storming off one time

theres a bit of silent treatment going on, but then afterwards you start talking with him “normally” again

theres an obvious distance growing between you and him, and your attitude is colder than it used to be. sukuna thinks its something thatll pass sooner or later

but then you text him, saying that you wont be able to come and see his game

thats not right. hes had a few fights with you before, but you’ve never skipped out on coming to watch him like this, ever.

but being a prideful tsundere he is, he just replies with a “do whatever you want” before chucking his phone off to the side (which he checks later again, to see if you said anything more after that. you didnt.)

on the day of the match, hes constantly checking the crowd if youre there

its not like *glance* he cares *glance* about you coming *glance* or anything *glance*

his mates raise eyebrows and tell him to focus properly and hes never looked scarier lmao

they won in the end, but the taste of victory isnt the same

the group wants to celebrate and go to some restaurant to eat but he skips out and goes home alone

and when he opens his door to an empty and dark living room, he cant shake off the feeling of uneasiness in the pit of his stomach

totally doesnt google search “signs of an incoming breakup”

feels worse afterwards

eats a nice and nutritious meal he cooked for himself, but it tastes kinda like cardboard

i said previously that sukuna doesnt know what feeling nervous is, but now he does, hes terrified youre gonna pull the breakup card on him, he wont know how to deal with that

he has a feeling that if he doesnt do something about this now, he will lose his chance forever

sukuna calls you but you dont pick up

he finds his way to your front door and rings the bell, and you call out from the other side asking him what he wants from you

“why didnt you pick up any of my calls? i want to talk.”

he hates how whiny he sounds.

you crack open the door ever so slightly, so only one of your eyes are visible to him

“about what?”

“about... this. about us.”

“...you’ve been crying. let me in.”

he gently pushes open your door and you stand out of the way, letting him

...and he starts with an apology. about saying mean things to you during the argument, about acting like he doesnt care when he does (he cares so much abt you that it drives him mad), pretending not to notice how upset you were

you watch him sternly, but end up bursting into tears bc youre so relieved he came out and admitted to his faults, and that theres hope for this relationship

youre bawling as he pulls you into his arms, and you confess that not going to see him and treating him coldly was the hardest thing youve ever done in your life

sukunas so relieved you still feel deeply for him, and simultaneously upset bc youre upset

you reveal that youve been feeling neglected, feeling like he only liked you for your body, and you too, apologise for not communicating that and acting sensitively instead

hes appalled, calls you an idiot but then retracts that statement and denies ever having thought in that way

the two of you snuggle up so close together in your bed, communicating and chatting and catching up for hours while he occasionally eyes the mountain of used tear-filled tissues in your room, rather concerned

for a while, he doesnt initiate sexual activity unless you specifically want it bc he wants to prove he likes spending quality time with you just as much <3

and when sex does eventually happen, he makes it very romantic and meaningful, with proper aftercare, continuously whispering “i love you,” throughout

and he shall do anything to have you keep loving him back.

some general stuff with vb sukuna:

mad tall. i wont give an exact number but anywhere between 195 - 200cm tall :>

mad horny. hes like an animal

hes such a big eater,, i mean, i see sukuna as a big eater in any au but this one in particular bc hes an athlete haha

u probably make protein shakes for him and stuff, but hes not rly on a strict diet or anything, he just eats anything and everything

has a lotta fangirls >:( but he ignores them now, after he met you >:) but before, he probably played around a lot and hooked up with some >:( he never liked any of them to stick around, tho >:) except you >:)

goes on morning runs, at like 6am and gives u a kiss on the cheek beforehand

is so fucking touchy clingy, always needs you on his lap, hands under your skirt or shirt

the last guy who tried to hit on you got a nosebleed, getting hit with a volleyball (its so funny, he changed his aim mid-spike during a practice match)

haha he was sent to the bench for that one (everyone was chuckling behind their hands)

the headband was given to him by you, bc he once complained abt having to gel his hair every morning + gel doesnt keep his hair in shape when hes sweating excessively

thats all for today <3 thanks for reading

Masterlist

tagging; @yuujispinkhair @moonchild-artemisdaughter @skunaskitten

[cowgurrrl]

Marrow

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (plus platonic!ellie williams x fem!reader)

Author’s note: thanks for being patient!! I made a new graphic for the in-between parts of When You’re Lost in the Darkness/Look for the Light because I wanted to 😌 (PS this is somewhat of rewrite/reimagining of my first fic Everything Leads to You so if there are some similarities, iTS FINE)

Summary: “This was always going to happen. She’s been dead since the beginning.” - Oresteia as translated by Robert Icke aka the beginning of the journey

Warnings: discussions of Tess, reference to Adam, Joel being stubborn, talking to Ellie about mortality, references to a sexual relationship, the horrors of being seen by someone who could break your heart

"Stay here," you say to Ellie after a full ten minutes of waiting. He didn't even say where he was going. He just left without another word and expects you to be there by the time he returns, which is annoying in its own right.

"What? Where are you going?" Ellie asks before you can even take two steps in the direction he left. 

"To find Joel."

"He said to stay here."

"Joel says a lot of things." You roll your eyes. She didn't try arguing with Joel when he left, but here she is, holding you up. She better hope he's just down there fucking around and not in trouble. 

"What am I supposed to do if someone finds me?"

"No one's gonna find us out here."

"But what if they do?" She asks, and you can recognize the anxiety in her voice. She's a lot like Joel, you've noticed. Fierce and short-tempered but with lots of uncertainty brewing just underneath. You soften just enough to crouch in front of her and open your hand.

"You still got your knife?" You ask, and she nods. "Can I show you something?" She hesitates before pulling the knife out of her jacket pocket and placing it in your hand. You see why she likes it so much. It's a good size, sleek, and perfectly balanced. You open the blade and hold the handle firmly. "If they get close enough, jab at soft parts. Eyes, stomach, throat. It might not kill them immediately, but it'll distract them enough for you to run away and get our attention." 

"Same for Infected?"

"Same for Infected," you say. "Runners are just sick people. They have almost all the same weak points."

"Is it hard to kill them when you know they were people once?" She asks, and your mind immediately goes to that Shell station from all those years ago. Against your will, you remember his groans and the look in his eyes as he pushed you away from the last time. You clear your throat and close the blade to hand it back to her. 

"Not when they come after you first," you say. She eyes you carefully like she doesn't believe you, but you stand before she can see right through you. "Stay here. We'll be right back." She doesn't move from her spot as you walk away, but you catch her changing her grip on her knife to copy the way you held it. 

You find Joel on the river bank you and Tess passed more times than you could ever count. The water is clear and running without a care in the world. It would be peaceful if you weren't strategizing on how to have this conversation with Joel. It's necessary, but if you know him (which you do), you know it'll result in a fight. You decide to approach him gently with empty hands and a soft, if not a little pained, smile. He glances in your direction but doesn't acknowledge you as he reaches into the cold water and pulls a smooth rock from the bottom. He adds it to the stack right next to him and stares at it like it's something more sentimental than just a cairn. Maybe it is. He wouldn't tell you if it was. Not now. Not when Tess hasn't even been dead for twenty-four hours. Finally, he stands and turns to look at you.

"How's your hand?" You ask, breaking the unbearable silence between you. He looks between you and his stained, cracked knuckles and shrugs.

"Fine." He says, his voice deep and rough. You step closer to get a better look at his hand and fight the urge to reach for it to press around for the fracture you're positive is swelling under his skin. 

"You don't have to be a hero about it. I can wrap it."

"I said 'm fine," he snaps. You nod and take a step back. You know, from years of diffusing Joel's anger, this is a delicate dance. "Where's Ellie?"

"Right where you left her. I came down here 'cause I wanted to make sure you were alive." 

"You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to," you say. The levity in your voice startles him into looking you in the eyes for the first time since you left the destroyed capitol building. The brown of his eyes feels especially heavy and sad, but you don't flinch. You rarely do with him. "Plus, I wanted to see if we could talk."

"Bout what?" He says like nothing in the past few days has been catastrophic enough to require a conversation. 

"About what you think Bill and Frank are gonna do." 

"Take her to the Fireflies or get someone else to do it."

"And if they say no?"

"They won't."

"How do you know?" You ask, and he rolls his eyes. "Frank's sick, Joel. Really, really sick. He can't just get in a car and take this girl to the Fireflies, and Bill's not gonna leave him."

"How do you know?" He accuses.

"Because I actually talk to them on the radio," you say. "From what he's told me, it sounds like Parkinson's or something. I don't know. I'm not a doctor." 

"Exactly," he agrees with enough tension in his voice to poke at the fiery anger in your belly. "Frank's fine. They'll set him up in the truck and drive her there." 

"What about Raiders? Or Slavers? Or what happens if they run out of gas and can't find more? Frank can't just walk her to Wyoming." 

"Bill'll figure it out." 

"If Tess were that sick-"

"Don't. Don't even start with that." He cuts you off, and you sigh. 

"Is this really how we're gonna do this? Just not talk to each other about anything? Keep our heads in the sand until it's too late?" You ask. "Keep lying to ourselves that everything's normal?"

"You were just fine doin' that not even a week ago." He crosses his arms over his chest and raises his eyebrows at you. You know exactly what he's referring to. It's a tangle of limbs and whispers of so fuckin' pretty, 's like you were made for me, just like that, but you remember. Of fucking course, you remember every time he made you his and left the marks to prove it. Of course, you remember looking at him the next day like absolutely nothing happened, like he didn't fall to his knees in front of you like you were some long-forgotten deity. You and Joel are not people who do long-term relationships, especially not with each other. Still, his comment feels like a jab at the way you got dressed and left not even ten minutes after he came. 

"A week ago, we didn't have a fourteen-year-old to keep alive," you say. He sucks his teeth and looks down at his boots; clearly not a fan of your redirecting. "We're already going west. We might as well just finish this out and get her to the Fireflies. I'll even let you knock a few around if you really want to." 

"'S that supposed to be some kinda incentive?" 

"If finding your brother and doing what Tess asked us to do isn't enough, then yeah," he tenses when you say her name. It hurts to know she's gone. It hurts even more to know she sacrificed herself so you three would have a chance. You'll be damned if you let her death mean nothing. "And if we get to Bill and Frank's, and they won't take her, and you still don't want to do this, I'll take her myself."

"Not a chance." He counters before you can finish your sentence. You fight a smirk, knowing you've got him right where you want him, and he sighs heavily. You know he would never let you do this by yourself. He also knows he can't leave you to go back to yet another empty apartment and wait for him to come back alive or never hear from him again. For all your fighting, secrets, and unspoken agreements, you think there's no one else in this world you know better than Joel. You hope he thinks the same about you. 

"We get to Bill and Frank's, and then we make a decision, but we gotta agree somehow. Fair?" He relents, and you nod. 

"Fair." 

"Anythin' else we need to talk bout?" He asks, looking at you expectantly. Yes, you think. We need to talk about what made you beat the FEDRA soldier to death. We need to talk about Tess. We need to talk about how far we're willing to go to get to Tommy and drop this kid off. We need to talk like real people and not the shells we've been. 

"No," you say. "Nothing else."

"Good," he nods and walks past you, his shoulder brushing yours as he does. "Let's get moving."

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @moonandseatgr-yngf @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @korynnekorynne @anavatazes (please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list/if I missed you!!)

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Prince's Protected | Serpent's Nest

Hello! So I spent a good chunk of my time the other day rereading “come now little prince” (ridiculously good!!) and I was wondering if you would consider expanding on that part in the most recent chapter where the heroes take care of Janus? (Specifically a scenario of Roman taking care/comforting Janus bc I love how you’ve written them in this and would be really interested to see that dynamic shift and how the relationship between the two grows as time has passed) also! I’m in the middle of reading Tales of Thicketdown Forest bc I’m obsessed with your writing and goodness it’s so sweet and has me feeling very soft and I can’t wait to finish it! – anon

Read on Ao3 Masterlist

Warnings: gsw, blood loss

Pairings: roceit

Word Count: 2074

"Stay with me," Remus grunts as he shoulders open the door, hand still pressed to the wound on Janus's side, "we're almost there."

Janus grits his teeth and shoves his cane under him, trying in vain to prop up his weight with his non-working arm. Remus catches him without blinking when it clatters uselessly to the ground. Granted, he still manages to bash his knee into the hardwood floor before he's swung up properly, but that leg was already on its way out in the first place.

"Shit. Sorry."

"Apologize after I'm not bleeding out," he grits through clenched teeth. Remus just chuckles darkly and presses on into the dark apartment.

Now, realistically, they should have gone to the medical facility, but at the risk of sounding paranoid, they weren't sure what else was compromised. Certainly having a bomb explode Janus's car before got in was sign enough that his security needed to be tightened, they didn't need to ask the question of if the medical staff had been infiltrated too. Besides, Janus didn't get to where he is by having only one contingency plan.

He's jolted out of his musings by a rough deposit onto one of the couches, Remus kneeling over him a second later, both hands still pressed to the wound. Janus manages a half-hearted protest at the rough treatment when he catches sight of the fear lingering behind Remus's stoic gaze. Ah, Remus…ever his feral little junkyard dog…so unprofessional when it came to everything but the worst parts of the job. And here he is now, that loyalty glimmering through the mask he wears as a member of the Serpent's crew, as his hands fill with blood that should never have been spilled.

…the blood loss really is getting to him, he's never this introspective sober.

One hand lifts almost on its own to card gently through Remus's hair, leaving a few red trails on his temples and the very tip of his ear. Remus's gaze flies to his immediately, searching for what might have gone wrong, only to twitch when he realizes Janus is only petting him.

"The doc's almost here," he says instead, refocusing, "just hang on."

"It's okay, sweetie," Janus murmurs drowsily, "I know it'll be okay."

"Yeah, it's gonna be fine, you just hang in there."

"My Remus," he coos, still running his hand across Remus's scalp, "my sweet Remus…such a good boy. Feral little junkyard dog…"

"Shit, you really are out of it," he hears Remus murmur distantly, mostly to himself, "doc better fucking get here soon."

He can tell by the blur of black and the fact that Remus moves him to lie down that the doctor is here, but what's more important is that Remus doesn't leave. Instead, he stands where Janus can still pet him, blinking sluggishly at his face as he watches the doctor work. A few sharp pains lance through the pleasant haze and he winces. Remus wraps his arms lightly around Janus's shoulders and holds him there.

"You gotta hold still, Janny, it's almost done. You're gonna be just fine, okay? We'll get you on painkillers and everything, just hang on."

"'S it bad enough for the good stuff?"

Remus must have a conversation with the doctor. Then he shakes his head. "Nah. You're just being dramatic."

"That's my right."

"Uh-huh, and it can be your right even more when you're not about to bleed out on this couch."

"'S my couch an' my blood, it can go where I want."

"As long as it's in your veins and not all over the shit you'll make me clean up, yeah, that's fine."

He tugs lightly on Remus's hair in reprimand as the doctor finishes patching him up. Slowly, the wooziness of blood loss starts to turn into the fog of painkillers as Remus helps him sit back up. He sees the doctor off with a nod and looks around for his cane, noting that Remus must have left his side at some point to stand it back up in its place by the door—what a sweet boy.

"Guys nabbed him already," Remus is saying—ah, yes, the fool who put the bomb under his car, excellent—"I'll be down there tomorrow once I'm sure you're not about to do anything stupid."

"Please, my dear, have a little faith." He goes to push himself up from the couch—

"That," Remus barks sharply, and then there are hands on his shoulders pushing him back down, "like that. That's the stupid shit I need to make sure you don't do."

"Oh, relax, Remus, I am fine—"

"You are not fine, you're just high as shit on painkillers right now that make you think you're fine."

"I'm not high, Remus, I know what that feels like and this isn't it." Janus sighs in frustration when Remus doesn't let go of his shoulders. "Oh, for the love of—I know what painkillers feel like, I know that I'm hurt, now let me up."

If it had been any other operative, perhaps the steel he injected into his tone might have sufficed to make them stop babying him. But oh, no, not Remus, who just gives him a look. What happened to the days when he didn't even have to say anything and Remus would know to back off?

Distantly, he registers Remus's fingers twitching ever so slightly and he realizes must've said that out loud. He lets out a low noise and reaches out to rest his hands on Remus's ribs.

"Shh," he mumbles—are they sure they didn't give him the good stuff? He's having trouble keeping his eyes open—"I didn't mean it."

What happened to the days when I did?

"I know," Remus says, voice softening just a touch, "just like I know you need to move as little as possible right now."

"What," he half scoffs, half laughs, "are you going to babysit me until you think I'm all better?"

"No."

"Good, because—"

"I'm gonna get Roman to do it."

"—that wouldn't work out for—you're going to what?"

And as if he could hear him, which at this point he's not going to put past either of them, Roman walks out from his bedroom. Janus's eyes widen slightly as he comes to take Remus's position in front of him, sitting on the coffee table as Remus hands him something he tucks into his pocket.

"Stay put," Remus says, "I'll be back."

"Oh, so you give the orders now?"

"You're injured, so yeah."

"Hey," Roman says softly as Janus tries to turn and follow Remus's path across the room, "he wasn't kidding, you know, you need to stay still."

At the first brush of Roman's hand against his flank, he sighs, resigning himself to letting the little prince fret over him for a moment. If he can reassure the both of them that he's fine, then perhaps he stands a better chance of convincing Roman that he can actually stand up. A cute little furrow forms between Roman's brows as he looks at the doctor's handiwork, the fingers on his free hand almost ghosting over the stitches.

"You're going to have to be careful of how you lie down," he says, still speaking as though if he said his words too loudly, they might shatter in the quiet air, "keep the stress off the surrounding skin."

"I have done this before, you know."

"I know." Roman looks up to meet his gaze. "That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."

He's definitely blaming it on the painkillers that he nearly melts at that, reaching out to brush his thumb against Roman's jaw. "I'm alright, little prince."

"So you need to stay still in order to be all the way better."

"Little prince—"

"You barely let me move when you first put my stitches in," Roman says before he can finish his thought, looking up at him with devastating softness, "it's okay. Just sit, I can take care of everything else."

"That's not your job, sweetie."

"But I want to do it. Look—you've done so much for me. For all of us, okay?" He reaches for the hand still brushing his jaw, cupping it between both of his and pulling it to his chest. "And now you're the one who's hurting. Let me look after you for a little bit, okay?"

Janus looks at his little prince, savoring the feeling of his hands wrapped so firmly yet delicately about his own. "Who taught you to be so sweet?"

At Roman's bashful little smile, he sighs, leaning back against the couch and tugging Roman with him. Roman comes, sitting ever so carefully on his non-injured side. Janus frees his hand from one of Roman's and brings the other to his lips, kissing it gently. Sweet little prince…

"Come lean on me."

He rouses himself a little. "Hm?"

"You look tired," Roman murmurs, settling himself more securely on the couch, "come and lean on me if you want."

It takes a fair bit of careful shifting before Janus is leaning steadily against Roman's bulk, his head nestled in the crook of his shoulder, his hair tickling the underside of Roman's jaw. One of his arms is wrapped securely around Janus's shoulders, the other still tangled with one of his hands. His puffing breaths warm the very top of Janus's nose, his chest almost rocking him to sleep as it rises and falls. He turns ever so slightly to press a kiss to the crown of Janus's head and Janus hums.

"You've done this before."

He feels more than sees Roman nod. "Did this with Remus a lot. And the others."

"I'm…sorry."

Roman shifts just enough to squeeze him in a tiny cuddle. "Thanks to you, we won't ever have to worry about that ever again."

He must start drifting there, on the couch, in the arms of his little prince, for he blinks and the light has changed. Now the shadows of the night spill in through the massive windows, thin blue fingers reaching across the floor to touch the base of the coffee table, the chairs, the kitchen island. Has he fallen asleep? Has Roman? Is it still the same day? The familiar bite of the pain has yet to resurface so it can't have been that long—except, of course, if they were lying and they did put him on the good stuff.

It suddenly occurs to him that there is a word for this feeling. When you wake in the night to realize that you needn't move yet, or when you stir from a place only to shift slightly and fall back to slumber. He has a vague memory of hot nights in the middle of the summer where he couldn't fall asleep even with the slightest sheet, only for the heat to break around the wee hours of the morning. He would rouse just long enough to pull over a sheet and then he would sleep again, safe under the gentle chill of the darkness. There is a word for that, isn't there? That precious feeling that can only truly be felt in its moment, lost to the ephemeral grace of memory?

Is he there now? Slipping in between moments as ripples move through water?

But no, there shifts Roman underneath him like a gentle current guiding him back to the world of the waking, and he turns just slightly to see a soft smile on that sweet face.

"Hey," Roman says softly, "how are you doing?"

"'M good."

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Janus murmurs, his eyes already slipping shut again, "thank you, little prince."

"Of course," he hears distantly as he falls back into the waiting arms of the darkness, "you're safe now."

Ah, he thinks, that's the word.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

[pure-garbage]

Legendary Hands? The Lockpick's Secret Specialty!

Sanji was the first to finish his shopping. As he reboarded the Merry, happily lugging the crew's groceries, a muffled cry drew his attention.

"Huh?"

"Uurrgh!"

"I know that voice," he mused. "Swordsman?"

He raised an eyebrow high, set his load down on the deck and approached the cabin door. That was where the sounds seemed to be coming from.

"Too hard?" Lana's voice came from behind the door. Sanji's interest was truly piqued now. He crept closer, idly inhaling and exhaling smoke as he eavesdropped.

"No, you're... it feels good," Zoro panted from within.

Lana giggled and a flush crept to Sanji's cheeks. Were they...?

"Can... can you..." Zoro was out of breath, struggling to get the words out. "Are you able to... can you squeeze harder?"

"Like this?"

"Uuhhhh! Oh yeah! Just- just like that! Oh!"

"You have to relax, Zoro. You're way too tense. It'll feel even better if you loosen up. Breathe deep, okay?"

"Uh... huh. Mmmnn!"

"Did that hurt?"

"A little. Felt good too, though."

"Tender?"

"Yeah."

"Right here? I'll be gentle."

"Ah! Nnng! Ughhh..."

"Should I stop?"

"Uh-uh. Don't stop. 'S good... up a little... Uh! Do it harder!"

"Right here?"

"Yeah! Right there! Ah- ah!"

"Too rough?"

"Nuh-uh! Ohhh, Lana!"

"Wow, Zoro, you're so, so stiff!"

Sanji stifled a gasp, ear pressed flat to the door, enraptured.

"Damn, Lana you're s-so good at this... uh! It feels amazing!"

"I can do this as long as you want, okay?"

"Ohhhh..."

"Just tell me if you want me to ease up on the pressure."

Zoro could only manage strained moans and breathless whimpers.

"Uh... grr!" Sanji fumed. The eroticism was wearing off, jealousy taking its place as his mind swam. His imagination was running wild, vision blurring as he pictured the lewd things Lana and Zoro were probably doing on the other side of the door.

"La- La- Oh, Lana!"

"Still good?"

"Nng, 's better than good... ohh, down a little!"

"Here?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Sanji!"

Nami's voice rang out, pulling him back down to earth.

"I'm so glad you're already here! Help me with my bags!"

Her eyes narrowed, suspicion casting a deep shadow over her features as she took note of Sanji's stooped posture and scarlet cheeks.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, leaving her bags behind to loom over Sanji.

"I'm not doing anything wrong, Nami-Swan," Sanji assured her. "Our crewmates, on the other hand-"

"Ugghhh!" Zoro groaned loudly. "Ow, ow... Ohhh..."

"Sorry, too hard?"

"M-Maybe just a little..."

"Hm, so gentle right here?"

"H-h-h- Ah! Uugghhh!"

"This spot can be really sensitive... just relax and breathe deep for me, okay?"

Nami sighed, chuckling lightly.

"Oh, I see. I get what's going on here," she said.

"Mm-hm," Sanji agreed grimly, taking a long drag of his cigarette. "Just like a pair of cats in heat, they can't be left alone together for ten minutes without- huh?"

Nami ignored Sanji and pushed the door open, to his shock and chagrin.

'Good god, I'm gonna see some skin... and Lana won't even be able to blame me since it was Nami who burst in!'

"Hey Lana, Zoro!"

Sanji was almost drooling, neck craning to see...

"Skin, skin, ski- huh?"

The sight that greeted him wasn't what he expected. The only skin on display was Zoro's. He lay shirtless on the couch, turning his face to glare at the interlopers. Lana was on her knees over him, hands kneading the taut muscle of his back.

"Zoro! You tensed up again!" Lana tsked. "Oh, hey Nami. Back already?"

"Gah! Lana, wai- Uhhn!"

She pushed her thumbs hard against both sides of his spine, drawing out a series of cracks, pops and helpless groans as she worked her way up. Zoro had initially thought to tell her to stop now that they weren't alone, but her firm hands pushed the thought completely out of his mind as they marched higher methodically.

"Lana, if I'd have known you were doing back rubs today, I'd have put off my shopping," Nami giggled. "Should I get the nail kit? We can turn this party into a proper spa day."

"Actually, I was giving Zoro a private demonstration," Lana grinned. Sanji watched, jaw slack as the lockbreaker's nimble fingers dug into the swordsman's ample shoulders. Zoro moaned and his eyes rolled back into his head, leaving Sanji fuming.

"Oh come on you big ham, it can't possibly feel that good! You're overdoing it on purpose!" Sanji accused him, outraged. 'Lucky bastard! How could he have the nerve to rub this in my face so hard?! Doesn't he have even a lick of common courtesy?!'

"Nope, Lana's massages are legendary," Nami corrected him. "They're the highlight of girl's night. Right along with my famous mani's and Robin's unrivaled hair braiding, of course."

"G-girl's night?" Sanji stammered. "You have a girl's night?"

"Every Sunday."

'Paradise... how could it have slipped my notice? A hidden utopia... right aboard this very ship! Heaven, right under my nose!' Sanji lamented internally.

"Lana, can you do the neck thing again?" Zoro requested, words muffled by the couch cushions.

"Of course," she replied happily.

Her fingers went to work, thumbs rubbing circles at the base of his skull, gradually moving down to follow the ridge of his spine. He sighed deeply while envy rose in Sanji again.

"Hey, this is all very cute, but if you're both in here rubbing each other, who's keeping watch? You had an important job, you know!" Sanji fumed.

"Robin's got the watch," Lana explained. "Sanji, weren't you getting groceries? I'm getting hungry. Make us something good for dinner and maybe after you can get a back rub too."

"Hey!" Zoro grumbled.

"Oooh, of course, Lana sweetest!" Sanji crooned. "Your wish is my command, after all!"

"Lana!" Zoro protested while Sanji dashed off to retrieve his groceries from on deck. "I don't want you touching Sanji like this!"

"What a double standard," Lana tsked, teasing. "You didn't have anything to say when you found out I give massages to Robin and Nami on a weekly basis."

"Robin and Nami aren't perverts," Zoro grumbled.

Lana chuckled and bent to press a light kiss to his temple.

"Don't get so worked up," she said soothingly, squeezing hard around the nape of his neck the way she now knew he liked. He couldn't hold back a moan as she dug in firmly with the base of her palms, forcing tension out of the muscle artfully.

"I said he could have a massage, but I never said I'd be the one giving it to him," she clarified.

"Mm, devious," Zoro grinned with admiration.

"Now, relax and pay attention. I've got you to myself until dinner."

____________________________________________

<== Previous Chapter

Next Chapter ==>

== First Chapter ==

[magic-is-something-we-create]

2023 recap + 2024 plans

i wrote 261,200 words in 2023; 172,500 of those for Whispers, 88,700 for Goddess-Touched!

i read 16 books to completion, beta'd for an additional 2, am currently reading 3, and got partway through 5 others before having to put them down.

i maintained my streaming schedule with only a handful of emergency-related exceptions, and drew, uh, a shit ton over the course of the year!

writing goals for 2024:

fix Echoseers (full stylistic rewrite, along with some plot tweaks)

finish the first draft of Goddess-Touched (and edit it hardcore as well)

work on as-yet-unnamed book 4 of tms

fix up Whispers with the added feedback of beta readers

start querying Whispers (i'll look into self publishing down the road if i don't end up finding an agent. the way my brain functions i must cling to the hope of not having to market it myself tooth and nail for the time being)

POTENTIALLY. if my brain fixates on it. write the script for The Lost so that i actually have something to work with to make the comic happen

one of my offline friends is starting to get into writing, and im hoping to help them through some of the early rough patches and potentially co-write a thing with them!!

i completely dropped the ball on the weekly writing updates so im gonna try and get back to that on wednesday. and potentially get back into the weekly ask games!

non-writing goals for 2024:

youtube. i want to make speedpaints and worldbuilding videos and shit. ive already made the basic animation stuff to have a lil sona to do the gesturing for me and i know how to make videos i just havent done it in a While

twitch!! i want to stream a bit more often because its fun and if i let myself branch out into video games as well as art itll be easier to do that. u might see me streaming in the evenings sometime soon. (psst im not streaming this weekend as im still doing a shit ton of holiday/social stuff but the weekend of the 13th ill be back to both patreon and twitch baybee)

SPEAKING OF i want to get my shit together enough to do like. monthly short story releases for my patrons/ko-fi members. early access, that is, so if i post one in january, it'll be posted here a month or two later for all to see/read

i want to read as many books as i did in 2023, if not more! im also considering adding book reviews/thoughts to youtube or patreon/ko-fi perks

my weekend hiatuses aren't going anywhere. having time where im not actively engaging with tumblr + don't feel obligated to do Anything online has done wonders for my mental health and i highly recommend it. focus mode on my phone and leechblock on desktop has helped so so so much

and that's all i'm sharing here!! i hope 2024 is a better year for all than the last <3

[allthe-everything]

to all my babes out there trying to get a job, got some tips for y'all. i'm updating my resume and realised that what i do might help some people, and not everyone knows about ATS parsing. gonna be long, will add a tldr at the end

so, first things, instead of MS office, i use libreOffice as my document creator/word processor. stop giving microsoft your money - libreOffice is free and open source, and it's amazing. go get it. saves you money too and god knows we need that. but, i'm sure you can do this in publisher too, i just don't know all the buttons

onto techniques: instead of creating my resume in libreOffice's equivalent of word, i use the equivalent of microsoft's publisher - the thing meant for you to make cards and flyers and whatnot. essentially you just pick a size document, and get to throw things (pictures, text boxes, charts, whatever) onto the page where you want them. since it's geared more towards artsy things, it's a lot more flexible with formatting than word (moving images in word? just don't).

essentially, every snippet of information i put on my resume is one text box. each job with its description, each project i've worked on, etc gets its own text box. this is great in a couple ways: it means that if you want to change the formatting of your resume, you can just move around text boxes instead of fucking around with copy/paste all day. the second thing is that when a machine tries to read your resume, internally it'll read that pdf and see blocks of related information that's more precise than giant paragraphs you'd get in word. make your section titles their own text boxes (like experience, education, skills, etc) so they don't get lumped in with the real info.

i'm not gonna talk about "resume words" or "clean formatting" bc tbh i'm bad at that and i think recruiters are dumb sometimes for wanting "no templates, but only format it this one particular way". but get all your info there, arrange it how you see fit, and THEN. then we get sneaky.

in libreOffice, you can name and add descriptions to text boxes. "what!" i hear you say. "that's so weird why would anyone do that!". and i say "well, if a human is reading your resume, it doesn't matter what the text box thinks it is. but it's a machine reading your resume! you want to speak the machine's language." the name is less important than the description, in my opinion, but you can name the boxes too. what you're gonna do is select a text box, click on "format" at the top bar, then "description". and you're gonna add in the alt text box what this text box is. if it's a list of skills, write "skills". if it's education, write "education". this info won't show up visually to a human reading the doc, but it helps machines categorise the data, just a little bit better. in the description part of this, you can also try adding the key words from the job description so the machine sees them but a human really can't find it unless they really look. this isn't something i've been able to test thoroughly, though, so take it with a grain of salt.

i'm still working out all the kinks myself, and picking apart what the ATS does in terms of parsing your resume, but when i started doing this my resume was better parsed whenever i applied to jobs. which, bonus, less retyping your resume into the bullshit job app.

tldr; fuck microsoft, use libre office instead. use libre office's drawings app or ms office's publisher app for ease of use. in libre office, click text box, go to format -> description and add a description of what the text box contains. test and retest your resume in an ATS parser online to make sure the machine reads your resume correctly.

i wish this wasn't how things are, but since we're here might as well figure out hacks. if anyone else has info to add, please please do. it's rough out here.

[deep-space-lines]

Have you ever wanted to draw something but you fought due to your skill level at the time you decide not to do it

Honestly I don't think there's been a time in my life where I haven't experienced this. There's a file on my ipad I've had on the backburner for like probably over 4 years now; there's a really clear image in my head of a poster showing the detailed anatomy of an astronaut from the perspective of aliens who believe the spacesuit to be part of its body, and every time I come back to it, I keep saying I'll do it later because I just can't pull it off yet :') so yeah the struggle is real

That being said, I've personally found that apart from just 'don't draw it and let it haunt you for years until your confidence improves', there's two solutions that work for me

1: Just draw it the best you're able now, with the knowledge that it might suck (in your eyes) but there's no rule that says you can't come back and re-draw it a few months or years down the line once you've learned more, if you still want to. It can be super frustrating if you have a really concrete awesome image in your head that you know you can't execute the way you'd like, but treating it more like a rough draft than something that has to be perfect the first time around can help get around this. Genuinely I think about this post all the time now, I think it rewired my brain chemistry as an artist. Just accept it'll look bad, who give a shit!!!! If you draw the rough draft now, it'll either turn out better than you expected, or you'll figure out what you struggled with for next time. Either way you'll at least temporarily get The Image out of your head and satiate the Art Beast.

Which leads into...

2: Figure out if there's a specific aspect of the Thing that intimidates you the most and put some time into low-stakes practice with the skill that's blocking you. Usually it's gonna be something like perspective, anatomy, rendering/painting, struggling with dynamic poses, etc.

Starting a completely new skill from scratch sounds intimidating, but you're not starting from scratch, and if you sit yourself down and give it some dedicated practice, you WILL see improvement within the same day. Keep it up for a week or a month and you'll have learned a lot. If it's dynamic perspective, tell yourself "ok I am GOING to learn how to draw with perspective" and mess around with references, look up tutorials, draw other art pieces with perspective until you feel like you have a somewhat decent grasp of it. If it's anatomy or dynamic poses: (once again, cannot stress enough) use references. Trace and then copy references until you get a feel for the shapes (AdorkaStock is really good), practice figure drawing (Quickposes, Line of Action), watch Proko because they have really good videos on these things (1) (2) (3).

'Practice makes perfect' is simultaneously very correct and very unhelpful advice, but if you've got a good grasp of the fundamentals of art, picking up specific, individual skills to a 'good enough' level is not nearly as time-consuming and frustrating as trying to just get better at 'art' as a whole. It can be really good motivation tbh (at least for me), to have an image of something I want to create and telling myself "I am going to intentionally practice [indoor environments]/[perspective]/[faces]/[painting with unrealistic colors]/[insert specific skill] for a few weeks until I feel confident enough to draw this thing".

anyway sorry that was so long. idk if this is any help, just my personal experience

[dualityvn]

Anyways, before you started being a little shit, I was gonna tell you about some good news, and I GUESS I still will even though I should be IGNORING YOU RIGHT NOW.

So you remember my trees right? And how I got several kinds instead of just wisteria? And how I got impatient and started germinating my Red Maple and Black Pine trees? well I planted them a bit ago AND THE FIRST ONE SPROUTED AND IM SO EXCITED I ACTUALLY FUCKING SQUEALED WHEN I GOT HOME FROM WORK AND SAW IT I WAS SO FUCKING HYPED LIKE GENUINELY SKIPPING AROUND AND SMILING LIKE A GOOF

So its one of the Black Pine seeds I planted and they’re so pretty already, like I’ve been so down and stressed lately but when I tell you that all immediately melted away when I saw that seedlings I MEAN IT IM SO HAPPY

I was really worried they wouldn’t sprout because the seeds didn’t show up in the best condition, but I was so relieved to see at least one did, I’ll give the others some more time before losing hope.

I did plant my Red Maple seeds before I planted the others so I’m more worried about them, they’re supposed to turn white once they’re done germinating but only a few did, plus before that I was supposed to rub the outer coat off of the seeds, which I did, but I’m scared I might been too rough with them :,))

But that doesn’t matter as much because at least one sprouted IM SO HAPPY THAT AT LEAST ONE SPROUTED.

OH MY GOD AND I FOUND OUT THERES A SEED LIBRARY NEAR WHERE I LIVE WHERE THEY GIVE OUT SEEDS FOR DIFFERENT PLANTS FOR FREE.

It’s taking every ounce of self control I have not to go over there and grab everything, I need to wait until I have more space, but it’s just so exciting, I think I’m gonna try my garden again once winters over, I’ll use the tips you gave me to keep the squirrels and rabbits away, and I’m gonna go for even more flowers this time!!

Sigh like I’m so stupidly giddy about all of this, I don’t talk about it enough but I really do love plants so much, I envy you, getting to work in a flower shop, that sounds so amazing.

And as much as I love winter and it being colder I can’t wait to be back to gardening, I think I’ll try and plant something that reminds me of you, like a few sunflowers.

Lmao actually did you know I spent a stupid amount of time just a few days ago making these crude paper flowers for work, I ended up making like 120 of them and destroyed my hands in the process, and as much as I hated doing them then, people seemed to really like them so I'm happy I did it.

OH AND RECENTLY IVE BEEN TAKING A LIKING TO SNAPDRAGONS, BUT NOT REALLY FOR THE FLOWER. THE SEED PODS ARE SO FUCKING COOL (I think you would like them too TenTen) THEY LOOK LIKE SKULLS AND ITS FUCKING AWSOME

Okay I’ll shut up and stop being a dork. You don’t get an ‘I love you’ this time because you’re a brat. I don’t use anon ONCE and you come at me, tsk.

(Here is my precious beautiful baby I’m naming the Primis <3)

"Those are great news! I'm so happy for you! Aaah, I wish I still had a garden. I can only care for plants that would live well in an apartment. I'd give anything to be able to grow a large garden full of flowers again.

But I wish you good luck with yours! And with little Primis! I'm sure it'll grow into a wonderful tree, especially if it's in your care.

And I'm glad it made you feel better. Plants help me with stress too, they're like silent little friends. I've shown Tenebris snapdragon seed pods before. He said they're the coolest babies he's ever seen.

Then I'll say it for both of us! Love you to the moon and back." - Keith

[aajjks]

he’s gonna be PISSED 🤭

TPOL!JK

"hey, man! i've been alright. how are you?" says namjoon in the closet of your apartment.

yes, namjoon is in the closet because he doesn't want you to hear what he's planning to do for you. soon it'll be your birthday and namjoon wants to do something special, he wants to get something big for you. he's done plenty of special things with you but he wants to get you something memorable and who better than to ask than his longtime friend who's the king of memorable gifts: jeon jungkook AKA the ex boyfriend he doesn't know about.

you kept your past vague with namjoon and out of respect, he didn't get too pushy because he could tell that it was triggering for you. all he knows is that your ex is a horrible guy who didn't value what he had because you're an absolute gem to namjoon. a diamond in the rough.

you're a sucker for the movie tangled, loves to listen to pinkpantheress, and you're ambitious. coupled with your awkward yet straightforward nature; you're simply someone he wish he met earlier in his life but he's thankful for you no matter what. you're just as silly as he is and listen to his philosophical rambling without judging him like his other exes. you even join in with your two cents and he loves a woman that listens just as much as you love a man who doesn't mind taking care of you after a long day of work.

no berating, no arguing, just cuddles and laughs all night. you two are the perfect fit.

so here is namjoon talking to jungkook about a gift to give his girlfriend but because its been a while, jungkook doesn't remember namjoon having a girlfriend or even mentioning a girl the last time they spoke.

"i didn't want to tell you guys because i didn't want to jinx it but she's a keeper for sure. she's pretty, she's a dork like me, ambitious, and compassionate, did i mention she's pretty already?" says namjoon and jungkook laughs a little because he sounds like he's head over heels for this girl.

"but listen, i want to get her something for her birthday but i want it to be something memorable, y'know? so i was hoping you could give me some ideas" asks namjoon and jungkook asks just who is this girl? what does she like?

"oh, her name's--"

"NAMJOON!? are you in the closet? what are you doing in there?"

is that…is that YOU?!

Jungkooks so curious about who’s got his friend so whipped like this. “tell me her name first of all.” Jungkook laughs. At least someone is happy and in love.

Just then a voice interrupts namjoon, and Jungkooks eyes, widen as he focuses on the voice. It sounds awfully familiar. His heart skips a beat.

Is that you? Jungkook wonders for a split second but then he just shrugs it off because, of course, that cannot be you, he’s sure he needs therapy because now he even hears your voice.

“Is that her, Hyung??” he asks giggly. “Hmm I think you should get her… it’s been a while since I had a girlfriend..” jungkook speak in an embarrassed tone.

“ I think we should get her something meaningful.. I mean meaningful to her… what does she like?” He asks, tapping on his chin.

“and anyways when are you coming back to South Korea? What are you even doing in Switzerland?” he rolls his eyes because Switzerland just brings up Bad memories.

Jungkook clicks his tongue. “oh my God is your girlfriend a foreigner?? oh my God don’t tell me you’re dating a Swiss woman!!? I mean they are pretty- do you know what come back to South Korean bring her with you? I would love to meet her.” Jungkook misses his friend a lot because he has felt really lonely in the few years.

“IT’S BEEN YEARS SINCE I SAW YOU ALMOST 10 YEARS.”

“No no I don’t know anything you should celebrate her birthday in South Korea. Please book the next flight and just come back.”