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#i legitimately feel like breaking something
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Truth of fallen god
Self-Aware! Chuuya Nakahara x GN! Reader
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Description: Howard Philips Lovecraft is driving people mad. Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald is destroying economy. Chuuya Nakahara is talking with a dying god.
Warning: OOC. English is my second language. Mentions of cannibalism. Some swearing. Chuuya destroyed Chasm off screen. Chuuya cuddles in the end.
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"Teyvat are on a verge of crisis... Crisis of faith. Shouldn't you... Be more concerned? Bend rules for a bit?" Echo of Creator's powers stepped from one leg to another. The bleak copy of First One took few steps towards the edge of a platform, looking down at Teyvat. At The First One's Land. Echo turned their head towards Sustainer.
"I... I can pose as Legitimate Reincarnation. Remind people of Teyvat, who's laws they should follow. What they allowed to do and what lines not allowed to cross."
Echo were now standing before Sustainer. And from the darkness, dozens of Celestials observed. Sustainer's siblings and comrades. Most of them fight together with The First One, witnessing the birth of Teyvat. Echo looked Sustainer in the eyes.
"Pose as my familiars. Let me take The Ivory Throne."
The Silence of Celestial, home and cradle of The First One was shattered.
"Preposterous!"
"Never!"
"Impossible!"
"Sustainer, let us throw that worm from the edge!"
Sustainer raised her hand, silencing her siblings. She looked directly in Echo's eyes. They didn't flinch. They already act, like Legitimate Reincarnation.
There was something strange with that Echo. Sustainer could feel a sickly sweet scent, coming from Echo. Their movements were careful and calculated.
Were Echo sick? Were they trying to live, what remains of their lifespan the best, they can? Is that what mortals do?
The First One was the best among them in understanding mortals. But, Sustainer, while not the best, was still good at reading people.
Sustainer's voice flows. And Echo knew, that they have no right to interrupt her. If Echo dared to break The First One's protocol, they won't live for another moment.
"Why you came here only now, Echo? Why not came here earlier? Why you didn't stop Fontaine's Prophecy? Why you didn't release Dendro Archon? Why you didn't stop Electro Archon? Why didn't protect people of Liyue from Osial and Beisht? Why didn't calm Dvalin's pain?"
Sustainer's nose was almost pressed against Echo's.
"Why didn't you stop Cryo Archon?"
Echo's voice was firm.
"I only got here. And immediately came to you."
Sustainer raise her head, looking at Echo from above.
"Or, perhaps, you were too scared to do something dangerous. You did nothing to earn the right to be on the Ivory Throne."
Echo yelled.
"I am also a reincarnation of Creator! And I won't be the first Echo on the throne!"
Immediately, air was knocked down from them. Echo was laying on the marble floor of Celestia. Guardian, Sustainer's brother, was holding Echo down. Sustainer towered above Echo behind his back.
"They helped people during dark times, before asking for a throne! You just want praises, that came with The Ivory Throne. Leave Teyvat, mortal. Leave, and never return."
Echo's gaze darkened.
"So, that's what you choose..."
Guardian yelled.
And he fell.
A dagger with white handle was sticking from the middle of his chest.
Dirty, blasphemous power raised from Echo... From the Demon.
"It was a good thing, I didn't eat all the bones of Previous Ones I could find. Aren't the knife from their bones great for slaying gods?"
Demon raised from the ground. Black, sticky tendrils came from the tips of their fingers, curling around Celestia.
A bone dagger flew through crowd. Attacking, killing, destroying.
"I can fool them. Their prayers will come to me. But, I can't let your prayers came to The Second Reincarnation."
Demon showed their teeth.
"Can't wait for their arrival. I will finally get fresh meat."
Celestia shook.
The Cradle of The First One was sullen.
It crumbled.
And gods fell down, while demon stayed above.
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Chuuya Nakahara was quiet. The broken god sat before him.
He supposed to simply look around Sumeru, to explore some parts of the region, they weren't familiar with.
Instead, he found a dying god. Or, more likely, dying god has fond him.
She called him the new familiar of The First One. And told him a story. Story, that happened year ago.
Sustainer focused her eyes on Chuuya.
"I saw it. I can feel it. Last pure remains of The First One's power. They... True Reincarnation are safe, right? You are their new familiar, right?"
Sustainer coughed, a bloody drop appeared in the corner of her mouth. She swallowed the blood.
"Or a guardian?"
Chuuya finally found his voice.
"Their friend... [Y/N]'s friend."
Sustainer's dull eyes shined.
"[Y/N]... Their name? How perfect. It's perfect. Truly divine..."
Sustainer forgot about Chuuya and start repeating your name over and over again.
A child-like smile appeared on her face. Sustainer of Heavenly Principles was happy, because she likes the name of Real Reincarnation.
Chuuya interrupted her.
"What happened to you? After the Fall of Celestia?"
Sustainer coughed again.
"Demon got me. When I was falling. Was dying ever since."
She looked at Chuuya.
"Death of divine can take centuries. We will exist as long as memories and knowledge about us lives. And will slowly die as long as memories and knowledge about us lives."
Sustainer's body trembled.
"But I can go now. They are safe. New familiars are near them. Take it. Use all of it. Protect them. Protect them, because I can't."
Sustainer grabbed the golden ornament on her chest. Tendrils of her power flow into it.
Sustainer disappeared in a golden dust.
And a golden ornament with her power remains.
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Chuuya never used his ability to make something, so, it takes multiple attempts, before he can make a somewhat of an urn from a boulder.
Sustainer deserved to have a grave.
The golden ornament was safely tucked in his pocket.
And his rage was boiling in his soul.
Chuuya thought, that the Truth was next.
Crazy knock-off bitch wanted to kill you.
The real truth was much worse.
Crazy knock-off bitch wanted to eat you!
Earth crumbled beneath Chuuya's feet.
If only he could walk straight to that thing and made it a bloody splat on the Dragonspine...
But he needs to stay calm.
They can't drop too much attention to them.
Can't let people knew about the plan. About their unity.
Lovecraft can pass as another monster from ancient history, Jouno, after Mondstadt, was keeping low, Fitzgerald's attacks were only aimed at Ningguang and Pantalone, Mark's and John's bank robbery can be passed as treasure horders' doings, same with Blue Mackerel's and Ango's scum. And it's not like Anemiac Freak and Sigma force people to go to their casino.
But the assassination attempt on Creator will be impossible to pin on someone else.
In Teyvat's people's eyes, only an Imposter can wish to harm Creator.
His rage was still boiling.
But, for now, Chuuya Nakahara will hold his desire to kill that thing under control.
But he wanted to do something. Anything.
Piano Man's voice echoed in his mind.
"Start with the mines..."
Chuuya stopped. He and Flags hold a little discussion few days ago. About Archon's and their powers. Topic of Mora and fallen Celestia came up. Mora supposed to came from Celestial powers. But, with Celestia out...
"...metal for counterfeit money has to come from somewhere... No one would question, that new Mora looked different. It still be money, that came from Creator..."
Chuuya might take a little detour and visit The Chasm.
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Chuuya ignored Fitzgerald's gaze, getting on the boat, sitting near the blonde man.
Lovecraft's tentacles hold the boat firmly on his back.
For an octopus-like creature, Lovecraft was extremely fast.
Lovecraft, swimming underwater, keeping a boat with Chuuya and Fitzgerald above, will reach the island with a porta in an hour.
Fitzgerald finally spoke.
"That earthquake..."
Chuuya didn't let him finish.
"Existence of a Chasm got on my nerves. I dealt with it."
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He left a stone urn with golden dust in their secret cave. When everything will be over, he will spread it over the remains of Celestia.
The knock on the door made you flinch. You liked your lips and answered.
_____________________
It was almost time to go to bed. You silently lay under the blanket. You were afraid of going to sleep. You didn't want to see another nightmare.
"Who is it?"
Door slightly open and a familiar redhead looked inside.
"Hey, Dear Symphony, want some company?"
You nodded slowly.
Chuuya walked into your room. And you finally saw his attire. A familiar red-toned pajamas.
He was holding his phone in one hand.
"Hey, [Y/N], do you want to cuddle tonight?"
You froze. You used to love cuddles.
But, after Teyvat...
The last "normal" cuddles you get were with Dazai and Fyodor. Few weeks ago.
You stopped cuddling, because of your nightmares. Because your screams already woke up others.
You didn't want to wake up a person, who will lie next to you.
BSD Cast respect your decision.
Despite your decision, you didn't want to be alone at night.
You didn't realize, that you were crying, until Chuuya brushed your tears from your cheeks. He smiled softly, looking at you.
"You need some 'me time', Dear Symphony. To recharge. Let me cuddle with you, while you're listening to music."
You didn't speak. You nodded, leaning to Chuuya's touch.
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Sounds of music filled the room.
Chuuya was laying behind you. With his arm around you, his chest was pressed against your back. Your bodies were pressed tightly against each other. Your head was laying on Chuuya's outstretched left arm. He was holding your hand in his left hand. His nose was right next to your ear. His breath tickled your hair. Chuuya felt the rise and fall of your chest grow steady with sleep.
Good. You seem calm.
Chuuya moved his head to plant a little kiss on your temple. You smiled in your sleep.
Chuuya blinked away happy tears. He put his head back, nuzzling your hair.
Tonight, only you and him exist. Tonight, only your comfort matters.
Tomorrow, he will say to others, what he has learned today. Tomorrow, fury and rage will boil.
And after that will come new plans, new actions.
And even more love and care for you.
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Tag list: @withered-blossoms , @myluckymoon @cocodrilofeliz @c4xcocoa @vvyeislazzy @whisperingwinters @nervousinfluencertidalwave @ayameshu
Chuuya in red-toned pajamas
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spookypanties · 25 days
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genuinely, genuinely i respect bugs. they deserve a lot better than they get. but the sounds crickets make send me into a blind fucking rage for reasons i would never be able to explain. theyre outside? fine, thats their home. but in my fucking bedroom? hiding in the goddamn walls???? ill burn this fucking house to the ground
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fellhellion · 9 months
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Something something the spot’s goofy antics distract from how dangerous his own entitlement and resentment is
#I don’t want to be that guy but I feel a little bit like spot gets sanded down a tad into just the fact he’s funny#and he IS funny I get it. but what makes him scary is the power to lash out with his entitlement and resentment towards miles#it’s you did this TO ME (miles didn’t#he was busy getting pummeled by kingpin and then venom shocking him back and the building was being EVACUATED it’s literally no one’s fault#but spot’s that he was there AND miles didn’t even know he was there when the collider exploded)#so I’m owed the role that you made me into <- miles literally didn’t do this#I’m OWED being your nemesis because I created you <- when all of itsv is about its miles own choices that make him heroic and not the bite#spot can’t even take ownership of his own actions. he’s like oh IM not robbing you that’s the bank. well buddy I don’t see you robbing the#bank I see you harassing some guy owning a corner store#like I get it. ur a cosmic horror and it sucks capitalism is pushing u down and u can’t get a job but like OWN UP TO WHAT THE HELL YOU DO#LMAO#and even miles trying to genuinely reach out and say look I’m sorry I made u feel bad (even though this isn’t an owed apology) and spot#STILL is hellbent on breaking miles back for an imagined slight#I AM GOING TO KILL YOUR LITERAL FATHER BECAUSE I BLAME YOU FOR SOMETHING YOU DIDNT DO#like god lmao. he’s a fun silly villain but there’s legitimate anger and spite and RESENTMENT motivating him purely to try hurt miles back a#as* badly as he imagines miles hurt him. when it’s like dude. own tf up to who’s responsible here#I’m not angry at the spot btw I actually think he’s a fun villain but I think recognising that resentment is what makes him effective as a#*​frightening* villain and one that poses legitimate danger#tunes talks spiderverse#apologies xinakwans ik u said you didn’t want to read any spot posts hopefully this snags on ur filtered content block shdjfjfk
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sometimes the way you people talk about Riverdale really makes me feel like you guys are anti-art lmao
#the day society thought there was 'bad art' and that inherently meant it had no value and was better off not existing was the day we lost.#'oh we're so glad it's over' you don't even watch the show.#'how did they ruin such a good show?' i don't believe you have actually seen S01 bc it was actually garbage. easily the worst season.#like S01 legitimately is some of the most boring TV.#and if you like it that's fine but to say it was a good show in S01 is so wjfsjfnsbdhd#raise your standards please#anyway uh some of you just are assholes and very much anti-art with the way you talk about some stuff#art is like meant to communicate something and express a feeling and evoke an emotion. my god.#the way some of you conceptualize it as just mindless entertainment is so embarrassing and sad.#like truly i mean i'm sad for you. you're missing out on so many unparalleled art experiences if all you're looking for is 'good art'#won't get into it under here but that FriendlySpaceNinja Riverdale video is so dogshit specifically BECAUSE it embodies this exact idea#'good writing always wins' you don't get art. you flat out don't.#to conceptualize art as only being 'good' (having value) if it has 'good writing' is such a stupid and capitalist way of thinking about art#anyway that societal critique would eat away at my tag limit so i won't get into it.#james talks#riverdale#not exclusive to Riverdale by the way. also very much applies to something like twilight.#like we've already done such a cultural reevaluation of twilight but i still see so many takes on it that are like 'this shouldn't exist'#and it's very inherently anti-art. also fundamentally the idea of 'good art' is just such dogshit but like go watch the CJ the X video—#on subjectivity in art for a much more comprehensive take on that. they break it down a lot better than i can in tags.#disliking something and understanding it isn't for you isn't the same thing as saying it shouldn't exist btw.#'twilight was not my taste' and 'twilight ruined vampires' or 'twilight is toxic and should've never been written' aren't the same.#like disliking something as an artistic piece bc it doesn't do anything for you is fine! good even. that's like the whole point of art!#but the whole 'burn it down' and 'this is ruining culture and TV' takes are so insufferable and anti-art lol
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i lost my sewing stuff i know it's around here somewhere there's actually exactly one spot where it should be and it is not there but i need to mend things and it has made an unfortunate disappearance at an unfortunate time and before you ask yes i do plan on crying myself to sleep over this
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daydreamerdrew · 8 months
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Captain America (2005) #31
#this is part of a series of visions that Bucky is shown to try to break him mentally#and unlike all of the following visions the mentality that Bucky has here#about how Captain America is his best friend#but that Bucky thinks Steve would have thought Bucky was a bully if he’d known him when he was younger#and that there’s this whole other darker side of him that Bucky is committed to never showing Steve#isn’t completely implausible#he explicitly rejects that he was jealous of all of the other Invaders for having powers#but he doesn’t address these negative feelings about himself in comparison to Steve#there was also this idea that Bucky was ‘barely human. a killer of men’ during WWII#which seems like it's retroactively projecting how Bucky feels now about his time as the Winter Soldier to what he did during WWII#so I think it's possible that the negative feelings about himself here could be legitimate#and it's possible that they're just retroactive projecting of his guilt over what he did as the Winter Soldier#throughout this book Bucky has been really negative about himself#in the preceding issue he had the thought that he should have seen a trap coming and so didn’t deserve to win a fight#there’s a recurring experience of him criticizing himself for the actions he takes while he’s taking those actions#and/or of afterwards questioning why he did something when he knew it was a bad idea#to the point where it almost comes across as foreshadowing that he's being subtly mind-controlled#and it gives the impression that Bucky is still learning how to be in control of his life at this point#I think it would be interesting if that self-deprecation was present during WWII#and was then really exacerbated by his time as the Winter Soldier#and I had previously thought that that was possible#in issue 25 Bucky talks about looking up to Steve during WWII and knowing that he could never be that good#and while the implications of that were not nearly as intense as this#I think that lends some support to this really being how Bucky felt during WWII#marvel#bucky barnes#steve rogers#my posts#comic panels
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oatmealcrisp-freak · 2 years
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Near is only interesting to me if Matsuda is correct and he's actually the type who will cheat to win tbh
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lupismaris · 1 year
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Lmao okay okay white cishet social manager has now been added to the DEI Pride planning meetings which frankly is important to ensure shit is done right I’m attending as the multi-tool queer of the division and comms administrator/quartermaster who’s main role is holding the comms team accountable (my supervisors/head of comms words not mine) so my goal of making sure our Pride and LGBTQIA+ history month campaigns aren’t reductive capitalist rainbow washed nonsense is still a go
#the head of marketing is a cis gay man who i respect highly and like but he's very much into rainbow washing and capitalist pride#as someone who came out much later in life and has been cut off from his community (i can only assume he does not make an effort to connect)#which is  a point of frustration with me i am one of four (?) openly lgbtqia+ members of our divisions not counting students#and its two cis gay men#a she/they lesbian mom who i love but barely work with#and me the grey ace bisexual transmasc nonbinary person aka the multi-tool queer#the two cisgay men don't really register my experiences or queerness as legitimate or on par with their own i'm rarely included in convo#one does at times but only to complain about cishet nonsense or to discuss new shows to watch but our tastes don't line up a ton#the head of marketing does not regard me as an equal in the queer community at all and while i do not deny his input for pride whatsoever#i worry that his social manager will use him being gay as an excuse to be lazy and reductive and only show the cisgay rainbow washed pov#hence me stepping in last year/being brought in by our old social manager (i miss you cody) and comms team last year#because they knew this was a risk and they are all cishet#i feel like this is potentially going to be the breaking point in my polite friendship with her#like we're friendly when its not about work but theres always been something off and i don't like her work/approach#and i just feel like something is going to go wrong her need to interrupt this morning with I MADE A HEADER just felt wrong idk#head of comms chose me for our divisions dei committee as well so i could be part of these internal conversations so again idk#maybe im just on edge because of -gestures at usa right now- and i have absolutely no patience for us fuckin up something out of laziness
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nomaishuttle · 1 year
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itis rly hard being A girlie who thinks a meal isnt complete without some kind of meat on it.. bc meats like expensive Kr whatever and also bc im living in hippieville (washington) so its all vegeterians and shit. That'sliterally a lie and not true. washington grovery stores r actually pretty cool they have like 8 billion milk alternatives which is crazy bc ky jusr has almond milk Pretty much. but anywyas itll juet end up with me making a food and then being like um ok. And put a ham on it like lunchmeat. ill just fry a ham slice and have it with the meal so it feels like real food. yk
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bisaster-energy · 1 year
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something something the cop-ification of the winchester bros. that one post about how dressing up as custodians or plumbers is 100% more effective than g men. the way they think should be trusted by all others and those that do not trust them with everything are untrustworthy themselves. the mentality that is pushed in law enforcement shows that cops should be allowed to do whatever break rules violate rights "for the greater good." dean would literally have said acab if given the chance. im not connecting shit but gimme a break it's almost 3am
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aidenwaites · 9 months
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People truly don't get just how labor-intensive of a field filmmaking is, whether it's writing/pre-production or on-set actors and crew or post-production
#listen man i know ive barely scratched the surface of even sports broadcasting#but my schedule is Not Unlike the kind of schedules film crews face with MUCH more labor intensive jobs#except where my schedule is unpredictable and subject to change on short notice and my shifts#Do Not Come with proper breaks#at least i *usually* only work a max of 12 hours#film crews easily see 14-16 hour days and the studios refuse to accept#paying more fines to the unions for not supplying the minimum amount of hours needed between shifts (this was something they rejected in#the wga negotiations)#and they HAVE to have those fines put on them because there is like. a real legitimate problem of lack of sleep leading to#injuries (and sometimes fatal ones) both on and off film sets. do you know its not unusual for people on sets to be reminded not to drive#if they feel like theyre going to pass out. a couple of years ago when iatse was in negotiations people were sharing INSANE stories#along those lines#and those days arent worth it!! at all!! we HAVE to take more time to make movies. we have to stand behind the unions. come on man#anyway brought to you by i wasnt gonna reblog that giant post where someone sent a stupid ask to neil gaiman but i am mad about it#and i know that post was specifically aboht writing but MAN people really forget the number of crew who work on movies#and how exhausting those jobs are and how much technical skill and varied understanding of skills that arent even your own#that you have to have to work in entertainment !#anyway
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wholesome-supervillain · 11 months
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i understand believing it’s a sin or an abomination but if you call yourself a follower of christ but treat or talk about queers as less than human then how dare you take his name. if you think immigrants and people of color deserve less than you how dare you claim to follow his teachings. go read a bible and then tell me the poor just need to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and work harder or they don’t deserve food/shelter/security. if you harass and assault women and people weaker than you and then brag about it how dare you claim to speak for the God you’ve rejected? when people are in trouble God will provide for them and you are meant to be part of that. thoughts and prayers mean nothing if you don’t act on those thoughts and let him use you to answer those prayers.
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povlnfour · 4 months
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ BEACHED! (OP81)
pairing: oscar piastri x f!reader
summary: after oscar saves you from an embarrassing accident on the beach, you accidentally go viral
warnings: cheesy humour, chaos
ੈ✩‧₊˚ oscarpiastri just tweeted
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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liked by danielricciardo, logansargeant and 98,002 others
yoursername shout out to australia, especially to the random dude in orange who saved my life from prematurely ending (note: waves in australia are brutal stay away if you can't swim)
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yourbsf NO FR SHOUT OUT TO KING I WAS TOO BUSY LAUGJING AND TAKING PHOTOS
yoursername I NEARLY DIED Y/B/F
yourbsf i was too busy giggling! your dream boy and first time he's seeing you is nearly drowning
friend1 Y/N DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS (6)
yoursername an australian?
user IS THAT OSCAR???
user oscar in papaya even on the beach… i fear he has no other clothes
user WHAT IS GOING ON
user NOT ME SEEING OSCAR TODAY AFTER HE SAVED A RANDOM GIRL FROM DROWNING?!?!
yoursername who tf is oscar
oscarpiastri hi! random dude in orange here
yourusername UM.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ twitter reacts
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ dms with oscar
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted stories
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[captions:
1. treated the tour guide to lunch :)
2. note: don’t let an f1 driver drive the golf cart if you value your life. moments before i nearly died (again)]
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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yourusername live evidence of the moment my tour guide turned on me
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user UHHHH
user oh so now they’re hanging out… i smell love at first sight
user NOT HIM DIVE BOMBING YOU????
oscarpiastri HEY i saved you again as well🙄
yourusername AFTER I SWALLOWED LIKE A GALLON OF WATER
friend1 @/yourbsf where were you during this murder attempt
yourbsf honey they don’t even know i’m here
ੈ✩‧₊˚ oscarpiastri just posted a photo
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oscarpiastri best way to get used to the aussie waves is to just go for it☀️
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user okay when will an f1 driver save ME from drowning and fall in love (and then try to drown me on two other occasions)
user hahaha i think they’re just friends
user GIRL ^ look at what he just posted dedicated to her and tell me he’s not already obsessed
yourusername please stop trying to end my life i have a child at home
user UM
oscarpiastri a dog. she has a dog.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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yourusername australia i am in love with your food, your weather, and certainly your people. i can’t wait to come back one day🤍
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user ‘and certainly your people’ 🥹🥹🥹
user i knew she was only on holiday but why am i legitimately sad she’s leaving?
user why am i crying for people i don’t know
user is the shirtless man in the bg of the third oscar😳
oscarpiastri don’t be a stranger🧡
ੈ✩‧₊˚ texts with oscar (1&2) and your best friend
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yourusername puppy therapy
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user no oscar in the likes again :(
user he’s so fluffy
user my heart aches so bad i want her back with oscar
user no fr i’m hoping that they can meet up when he’s travelling again :(
yourbsf coming over for a cuddle (with you and charlie pup)
ੈ✩‧₊˚ oscarpiastri just tweeted
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replies…
user why do i feel like this is about y/n…
user i hope they still talk :(
user with the way they’ve been posting i don’t think they do :(
user sending you love oscar. you’ll smash next season🧡
user something definitely happened
user im guessing just summer romance that fizzled out now they’re both busy :(
ੈ✩‧₊˚ mclaren just posted
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mclaren pre-season testing underway✅
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user did anyone see the interview he did on f1’s page?
user no what happened?
user they asked him about his winter break, and his smile faded so fast :/ then he just said he did a bit of exploring and moved the conversation on so fast
user god they. really fell for each other huh
user mclaren you have an opportunity to do the best thing. invite y/n to one of your races and reunite them please
ੈ✩‧₊˚ an email from mclaren
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ texts with your best friend
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mclaren a special home race for oscar with even more special guests🇦🇺 #OP81
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user IS THAT… IS THAT CHARLIE PUP. IS THAT Y/N.
user DID MCLAREN TAKE OUR ADVICE
user IS IT FINALLY HAPPENING ARE MY LOVES REUNITING?
user IM HERE RN AND SHES DEFINITELY IN THE PADDOCK
user FOR REAL? HAS OSCAR SEEN HER?
user NOT YET BECAUSE HE’S BEEN IN PRACTICE SESSIONS BUT THEY FINISH SOON
ੈ✩‧₊˚ user just posted a thread
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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yourusername who said fairytales aren’t real
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user OH MY GOD ITS OFFICIAL
user i would like to thank mclaren
user why am i crying. i don’t know these people
oscarpiastri and in all 100 versions of the story, i’d always choose you
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oscarpiastri i guess i was the real race winner after all
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user THE CAPTION IM SOBBING
user can’t believe y/n went from nearly drowning to dating the internet’s boyfriend
yourusername can’t wait to have my life threatened by you for years to come
oscarpiastri okay nearly backing over you was an ACCIDENT
mclaren you’re welcome😉
landonorris when is it my turn
mclaren challenge accepted…
landonorris NO NO NO I TAKE IT BACK
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a/n: HIHIHI i hope this lived up to expectations omg. the snippet for this went crazy but i don’t know if this is good EEK
huge thank you to EVERYONE for all the love in my inbox and comments recently, i’ve had so much fun writing these smaus so it’s been great to see everyone’s thoughts🤍
this will most likely be my last one shot posted before christmas with not funny (didn’t laugh) being my first post afterwards, so i want to say a huge merry christmas to all who celebrate!!
and finally. thank you for 800 followers!!! merci du fond du coeur. ça représente beaucoup pour moi🤍🤍🤍
- giselle / zellie / gigi / elle / gi i havE SO MANY NAMES
taglist (found here): @iluvvmeeee @champagnelovers101 @alessioayla @idkiwantchocolatee @skatingiswalkingincursive @six-call @he6rtshaker @hobiismyhopeu @tallrock35 @sunflower-golden-vol6 @woozarts @minkyungseokie @vellicora @tsukishitm-a @lucyysthings @treehouse-mouse @iloveyou3000morgan @gwginnyweasley @hetfieldd @sweetbabygirlsworld @wittywhispers
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buildabruh · 1 year
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sorry for my posts today I’m just drowning in the inescapable chokehold of late stage capitalism
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dexaroth · 1 year
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it's kind of a fun move to make my very very personal blog also the one I post my drawings on
ive purposefully done it to not create that kind of environment where it's just an account posting art, a one-dimensional abstract thing that's so detached that if I were to post something like 'teehee I tried to off myself so I'm opening comms to pay the bills' it'd be met with utmost surprise bc it'd break the illusion yknow?
but sometimes I do want some drawings to not have context. to be as impersonal as a vintage figure whose sculptor has never been fully known or a golden locket with the picture of someone who you don't know anything about
I want both, to be honest. it's always been a struggle of the need of external validation but also to not want to taint everything with myself
I want to draw a pet portrait for someone and not have it be judged with all the ramblings and half-jokes about how everything sucks every now and then.
I want to draw a guy being mechanically separated for no reason and not have it show up besides someone's pet portrait and having to explain to the average person I don't even know why I like gore so much besides rendering it is fun
it's all like a cycle of making it clear who is behind the art for context but also sometimes wanting everything to speak for itself and wanting a sort of pure reaction to it
and it culminates into that overly familiar feeling.. of wanting to be consistent. to have a feel, a look that you can maybe hope someone will identify as yours.. and the question is always the same - for what? why? why does it matter?
if anything the first thing I'd ever say to someone who remotely showed interest in art and wanted to know my side of it is that nothing matters and everything is subjective and that there will always be people who see too much meaning where there isn't and people who miss the point entirely. and that diversity is just as good as quality and not a binary switch that you have to pick for the rest of your life. and that often by trying to achieve perfection you just end up dumping what gave your art a personal touch because it wasn't absolutely on par with the version of you that you so desperately want people to identify you with or the vibe you want to give off or whatever else
it's kind of a problem that also has different connotations depending on the way wherever you post works, too
on devart and I think insta too favorites and likes are the easiest way to show a kind of support that happens to streamline everything into images on a page instead of actually taking in most detail, the title or description or lack thereof, maybe even a message or line or music lyric intended to aid in the perception.. that ends up getting completely ignored because it takes extra effort to do. and it gets exponentially worse the more people you follow
then, well.. tumblr. because of the way the posts are organized and at least show captions it has a bit of a leg up, but then the sideblog stuff comes up. posts 95% of the time only give traction to the account that posted it, so a sideblog where you reblog your art is pretty much just a gallery for the convenience of whoever follows them. if you post on that sideblog however, then that facilitates no one visiting your main and just looking at the drawings, leading to the art-artist detachment as it is also plenty of extra steps and effort
then, independently, the path you choose is hard to undo. choose to be unknown and be bound to the façade you have to keep and not break your persona, or put all bits of yourself out to the public and there will forever be an image/ background version of you that will contextualize everything you do
try to turn around and choose to hide and it will put people off and affect how some will look at your new stuff now that you're less of a social butterfly because of the instinct of curiosity and wanting to know what happened , choose to show yourself and now you're too real and people don't want to associate with you because of the things you express or how it hits different knowing x and y or just not caring about you enough to be bothered to keep up with your life with sporadic drawings inbetween
it's all ironically about your own self-image and knowing others who know you
oh and it just hit me the financial side of things too. but that's too much for me rn and it's sort of a bonus to my point anyways
idk man. I feel like I'm having a stroke while an influencer tries to explain branding to me
#the public vs hidden thing is also like trying to balance the evils#do you want to enable being made fun of by quirky neurotypicals and edgelords bc of ur 'archetype'#or do you want to enable everyone to put any meaning to your art including dogshit ones and treat it like a commodity#public enough to have your name or style used pejoratively to describe other people#or hidden enough to blend in and represent nothing and say nothing. just like a blank piece of paper#these two sort of types are everywhere and there just doesnt seem to be a grey area. its just.... awkward.#ah yes look at my painting and tell me what you think of it! dont take me into consideration at all though. pretend this came out of thin>#>air bc thats how i want it to be perceived. bc of course we all know thats a thing that can be controlled by sheer will right? lol#i want to draw whatever. i want to stop giving a shit. not care of what people think its all about. but i want to be seen as well. ..#and its frustrating bc i find it immeasurably valuable to find meaning in the mundane#to find the whimsy and care on someone's 'bad' stickman cat doodle even tough sketches dont mean barely anything to the artist#and then i get sad when someone below my skill level finds My sketches good despite me posting them as a 'look at how bad this looks lol'#just. being desperate for wanting everything to go your way#like a filmmaker who swears the theater is an integral part of their movie when in reality a guy watching at home cherishes it just as much#i think id turn inside out of disgust if i ever truly legitimally considered all the 'wrong' ways people can experience my art#compressed to hell or they just didnt bother to zoom in and didnt notice the brushstrokes and effects#which is totally normal and common and i myself do it! but my ego says nuh uh. go feel bad bc other ppl have agency lol#i can definitely pretend i dont care anymore and even try to believe it so much i unconsciously start assimilating it#but the Moment someone comments something that contradicts what i thought and wished was happening i just. break .#im truly trying to stave off negative thoughts and teaching myself that what others think of me doesnt define me#and one day im overhearing something i wasnt meant to know and its that someone thinks im a child#and ends up treating me like one. like im too stupid to do anything#and then i look back at my eyestrain/cartoonish stuff thats in fact considered childish by people who try to use age as>#a token of 'i dont enjoy X because X is for kids because/therefore im an AdulT! respect me!'#and i just have to face the reality that thats the image of me my art gives off by itself and what society chose it to symbolize as well#which it all leads to wanting so deeply a way to control how others view you because of how age gate-keeping for example is so stupid#and it bleeds into every other feeling and paranoia and self doubt#either you act cool and lie about who you are or let others label you what they see fit especially what they consider to be deserving of>#>ridicule#dextxt
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ohnoitstbskyen · 7 months
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youtube
... y'all know Lae'zel is acting scared, right?
Video transcription: I've seen a lot of comments on my short about Lae'zel dismissing her entire character because she's mean and… I'm just checking in here… you guys know she's scared, right? She's terrified. She was kidnapped by the worst monster she knows, infected with the most horrifying death anyone in her culture can have, and then stranded on a hostile world, alone, with nothing to guide her except the dogmatic military cult indoctrination of a cruel lich demigod, telling her that her only hope of salvation is to follow Gith doctrine with total unyielding faith. And still she tries to save you. When she keeps insisting that you must get to the Githyanki crèche, it's our only hope, she's trying to guide you towards the only salvation she knows from the parasite, so she can share it with you. And Gith... aren't supposed to do that, saving an outsider is not part of the doctrine, she's breaking the rules trying to do right by you. None of that means she's not being an asshole, she's rude, dogmatic and unpleasant. But everything she does comes from a genuine, very misguided and abrasive, desire to do the right thing. It doesn't make her behaviour okay, but there is more to her character than just "being the mean one."
To expand on this a bit more than I can in a 60 second short, people acting from fear and from their damage is a major theme among the Baldur's Gate 3 companions.
Lae'zel is terrified and falling back on the only thing she believes will give her back some control over her situation, which is the dogma of the military cult she's in. Shadowheart is much the same, amnesiac and grasping on to the only solid thing she knows, which is her faith, which preaches deception, loss and duplicity as the only certain factors in life.
Gale is an inveterate people-pleaser desperately dependent on other people to help him feed his magic addiction, with his overtly affable exterior hiding a rolling boulder of guilt, ambition, greed, arrogance and legitimate hurt. Asterion is... well, no way to really lay out his deal without spoiling, but the boy has been through it and his self-destructive, hedonistic and selfish impulses are all coping mechanism and self-defense all the time.
None of that make their shitty behaviours okay, but in a fictional story, those kinds of flaws and toxic behaviours are what make for interesting stories and characters. I don't blame anyone for finding Lae'zel unpleasant and abrasive, but I do get a bit Old Man Yells At Cloud about people who casually brag about shoving her off a cliff-side, or murdering her because "she was a bitch" or whatever.
Like... being unable to face discomfort in your media is not a virtue, and lashing out reactively against fiction that doesn't validate your power fantasy isn't a flex.
Of course, I saw a lot of those reactions in YouTube comments and on social media, so my sample is biased by those algorithms, but still. A lot of people seem aggressively proud that they never engaged with her story because the terrified indoctrinated child-soldier wasn't immediately nice to them and I can't explain it but something about that reaction feels puritan to me.
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