#i like how it uses fire based attacks and tries to cook its enemies

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Chef Kyroo

[0aurelion-sol0]

"There's no place like gnome."

Stranger Things 3: The Game.

Gnomes 1-10. 🧙‍♂️

IT'S FINALLY HERE!

It's no secret that the Duffers take a lot of inspirations from Pop Culture. From the most well known movies to the more obscure comics, they are always able to sneak a reference somewhere everytime. And they are also able to make it connected to the story.

I've bragged about how the Stranger Things expanded universe in media is one of the best out there compared to many others. I think that the Duffers, the writers or people in the highest places of the marketing are really paying attention to what comes out of the ST franchise because there is no way to have such content with so many details without someone looking into them.

And ST3: The Game is a very good example of that.

So let's start! The first 10 Gnomes out of 50 that you have to find in the game.

BE AWARE THAT THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW!

"There's elements that could please those who makes metas/analyzes or theories. Especially things related to possible future plot points, easter eggs, references in previous seasons mainly season 3 like unsolved mysteries or unanswered questions and for future seasons such as season 4 like foreshadowing or teasers, trailers or as of lately the sneak peek."

If you have anything you'd like to add, might think I have missed or think it might be referencing something else don't hesitate to share it by commenting or reblogging.

(Say thanks to @hawkinsschoolcounselor for having helped me with some of them. )

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Gnome #1: Johnny

"He's here... with an axe."

Overall plot:

"The film's central character is Jack Torrance, an aspiring writer and recovering alcoholic who accepts a position as the off-season caretaker of the isolated historic Overlook Hotel in the Colorado Rockies. Wintering over with Jack are his wife, Wendy Torrance, and young son, Danny Torrance. Danny is gifted with "the shining", psychic abilities that enable him to see into the hotel's horrific past. The hotel cook, Dick Hallorann, also has this ability and is able to communicate with Danny telepathically. The hotel had a previous winter caretaker who went insane and killed his family and himself. After a winter storm leaves the Torrances snowbound, Jack's sanity deteriorates due to the influence of the supernatural forces that inhabit the hotel, placing his wife and son in danger."

So I assume a lot of you know The Shining by Stanley Kubrick. A movie which was adapted from the novel of the same name by Stephen King in 1977.

There's a lot of things that could have served as an inspiration for ST.

A boy/child who has psychic abilities = Eleven has psychic abilities such as telekinesis. Will has his True Sight which consist in seeing what the MF was seeing and feeling.

Now there's also the theme of family and parenthood that is also a big theme in Stranger Things. Especially abusive parenthood such as Brenner, Lonnie and even Hopper to a smaller degree.

In Shining, Jack tries to kill his family with an axe due to supernatural forces that are in the hotel but there's a difference between King and Kubrick. While King specifically said that Jack was heavily influenced by the Hotel, Kubrick shows that Jack always had that sinister violence in him even before they arrived at the hotel.

It's interesting to draw a parallel to Billy and Will, both characters called William who tried to kill their families and other people while being possessed. But Billy compared to Will was shown to have been abusive even before that. Dacre Montgomery also said that he was inspired by Jack Nicholson's performance in the Shining for his character Billy.

Joyce and Jonathan were shown to get ready to fight the monsters by taking an axe.

It's also interesting to note that Jack dies in the snow while a blizzard is happening outside the hotel. Much like the storm of the Mindflayer who is in the Upside Down, the same Mindflayer who "likes it cold". While in the book, the Overlook explodes and burn.

(Cold vs Fire much like everything Upside Down related not liking Fire.)

Also "Johnny" = "Jonathan", it's kind of similar and Jonathan did wield an axe before. Maybe this is teasing parts of Jonathan storyline next seasons ?

The gnome was also found in Mike's basement, Mike who wants to be a writer when he's older just like Jack.

Let's just hope that Jonathan and Mike don't get the same fate as Jack.

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Gnome #2: Christine

"Two bright, beaming lights for eyes."

Overall plot:

"Written by Bill Phillips and based on Stephen King's 1983 novel of the same title, the movie follows the changes in the lives of Arnie Cunningham, an awkward and unpopular teenager, his friends, his family, and his teenage enemies in Rockbridge, California after Arnie buys a classic red and white 1958 Plymouth Fury named Christine, licence number CQB 241, a car that seems to have a jealous, possessive personality – and a mind of its own, which has a bad influence on Arnie. After working on a car in a junkyard owned by Will Darnell, Arnie drops his glasses, starts dressing like a 1950's greaser and develops an arrogant and paranoid personality. He than decides to invite and date the most beautiful girl in highschool, Leigh, who will soon become the next victim of Christine."

I was actually quite surprised by how this story parallels Stranger Things a lot.

First off, Christine is very much like The Mindflayer, a dangerous supernatural being set out to destroy anyone who is in her way, the people who tries to take the things that she thinks belongs to her or threatens her. This is very much relevant to The Mindflayer who after being hurt by the Fire created by the Hawkins Lab was upset and attacked everyone he could. Or as Will putted "Not me, everyone else."

This is very much like Christine who tried to kill Leigh because she was taking her place in the life of Arnie. Christine also tried to kill the bullies of Arnie who after a conflit with him, tried to destroy the car which angered Christine heavily.

The Mindflayer has been described someone who views himself as superior to other species and wants to conquer them, even if it's not his real "goal", the description fits anyone who is possessive and paranoid.

Both the MF and Christine are associated with the color red. Red storm = red color of the car.

Arnie ressembles Will and Billy alot. Will is an awkward and unpopular teenager who after being possessed by the Mindflayer became very different and more violent. Billy was shown to be paranoid, jealous, violent and his look even ressembles the one Arnie takes after repairing Christine.

Both of these boys have the same name as Will Darnell, the owner of a junkyard. Just like the boys in Season 1 who takes shelter in a junkyard, or in season 2 where they fight the Demodogs.

Billy dies, killed by the Mindflayer just like Arnie who was completely possessed by Christine who tried to kill Leigh and Dennis, his best friend after they tried to destroy the car when they realised the supernatural nature of it.

Billy's car ressembles a lot Christine with those lights on. Especially with shots like in the Void or at Starcourt during the night.

Chrissy, a new character that will be in season 4, the most popular girl in Hawkins High like Leigh, has a name that is the diminutive of Christine. It is said that under the perfect surface lies a dark secret. Much like the car Christine, while a beauty is actually a dangerous supernatural being. We'll see if the both of them actually connects in the show.

Also it is set in California where Billy and Max come from and has been rumored by many people due to set leaks (The Surfer Boy Pizza Van.) that it is where the Byers went. I won't get into it in this post but this could be a tease or hint of that IF the set leaks ARE true and not fake to mess with people and the fandom.

Arnie also dies in a car crash having been completely possessed by the evil powers of Christine which is something we see in the sneak peek of ST4. It also reminds of Carrie who has a bully named Chris who she kills in a car crash with her boyfriend Billy aka William.

So will someone die from that car crash ? Who is it ? Chrissy, Joyce, Lonnie ? We can only speculate.

The gnome is also found outside the Wheeler's house where Karen lives near the community pool where Billy works and where the car of Billy is located during the first few chapters of the game. Again, a "bad boy" hitting on the beautiful girl in town. (with a lot of creepy subtext all over it.)

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Gnome #3: Doc

"Always mumbling something about being late."

Overall plot:

"Set in 1985, in the town of Hill Valley, California, the story follows Marty McFly, a teenager accidentally sent back to 1955 in a time-traveling DeLorean automobile built by his eccentric scientist friend Doctor Emmett "Doc" Brown. Trapped in the past, Marty inadvertently prevents his future parents' meeting—threatening his very existence—and is forced to reconcile the pair and somehow get back to the future."

So I don't think I need to explain why this is here given how much it has been shown and mentioned in season 3. But few things are interesting here, the fact that California is mentioned is a big deal for me again. I know you are aware of the set leaks just as I am aware, if we can trust them than this could be a hint of that location.

Next, we have the theme of Time. Now ever since ST4 was announced, clocks and times have been a key feature in the promotion. Who know what this might mean but again, we're not going to develop that in the post.

There is also the whole funny scenes of Robin realising that indeed Marty's mother had tried to "bang" her own son. Now given the nature of the shown, certain images in the show during certain events and certain stories, you know to what it connects and to which theories it connects. Won't develop further on it but it can be used as an element that can go into those theories.

The gnome is also found outside of Starcourt Mall where Robin and Steve talk about "Back to the Future". It is also where Billy has his "Back to te Future" moment with his car going extremely fast just like the DeLorean.

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Gnome #4: Indiana

"Master of Adventure."

Overall plot:

"After arriving in India, Indiana Jones is asked by desperate villagers to find a mystical stone and rescue their children from a Thuggee cult practicing child slavery, black magic, and ritualistic human sacrifice in honor of the goddess, Kali."

Fun fact, on Twitter for ST3 promo, a parody poster of this same movie has been posted here of the official ST account.

Jim is obviously Indiana Jones, the look speaks for itself and when he is in the Tunnels in season 2, there's a lot of Indiana Jones imagery.

And of course Kali as 008, a Hindu goddess but as we will see here, it parallels more the Mindflayer.

In 1935, Indiana Jones survives a murder attempt by Lao Che, a crime boss in Shanghai who has hired him to retrieve the remains of Emperor Nurhaci. With his young orphaned Chinese sidekick, Short Round, and the nightclub singer, Willie Scott, in tow, Indy flees Shanghai on a cargo aircraft. While the three of them are asleep, the pilots (employed by Lao Che) dump the fuel and escape via parachute, leaving the plane to crash over the Himalayas. The three narrowly manage to survive by jumping out of the plane on an inflatable raft.

(I wonder if this could be something we see in season 4 with Hopper where he tries to escape on a plane and ends up crashing somewhere or is betrayed by someone who he asked the help of. Now it's a trio and in season 3, Jim, Joyce, Alexei and Murray are the main group that fits this trio. Jim for all the fighting and crazy shit, Joyce and Alexei are kind of like Short Round, they are the sidekicks of Hopper. Murray the role of Willie Scott since she speaks Chinese and him Russian and that Jim just like Indy finds annoying sometimes. Alexei is also kind of like Willie since he kinda goes along with them.

But if we also look at season 2, El is alot like Short Round since she is kind of an orphan too and has a father figure later on. It could also be Will since Hopper is with him a lot of times through season 2. Also Willie did felt out of her element like Alexei because of course he is Russian. Willie in itself doesn't have a lot in common with Joyce but still it's another connection to Will since she has a name close to the one of her sons. Something that does fit a bit more is Jim and Hopper both escaping death, of course Hopper at the end of season 3 but also during season 3 at the farm where he's being shot at by Gregori and than the car doesn't work and explodes and they have to make their way through the forest.

Willie Scott could also be referenced when El disguise herself as this pretty blonde girl in season 1.

Now however, Scoop Troops does fit certain parts of these trio. All the fighting with Steve like Indiana Jones but Robin got his brain because she cracked the code. Dustin and Erica are kinda like short round (especially Dustin who has kind of the same hat as short round.) and are referenced with all the others as children by Robin. Steve doesn't feel in his element like Willie with the three of them who are nerds just like Erica who also doesn't want to accept it. And Robin just like Willie speaks some languages.)

They ride down the mountain slopes and fall into a raging river, eventually arriving at the village of Mayapore in northern India. The villagers plead for their aid in retrieving the sacred stone (shivalinga) stolen from their shrine, along with their missing children, by evil forces in the nearby Pankot Palace. Indy agrees to do so, hypothesizing that the stone is one of the five Sankara stones given by the gods to help humanity fight evil. (It's kinda like Alexei who turns his back on the Russians, for his life of course and agrees to help Hopper close the gate to save Hawkins and their kids before monsters start to appear or may attack one of their kids. Now the stone could be something similar to the promethium or the two keys who opens the gate and is a highly valuable ressource. It also may be the Flayed who are needed to create the monster for the Mindflayer.)

The trio receive a warm welcome at Pankot Palace and are allowed to stay for the night as guests, attending a lavish, but revolting, banquet hosted by the young Maharajah. The officials rebuff Indy's theory that the Thuggee cult is responsible for their troubles. Later that night, Indy is attacked by an assassin. After Indy kills him, he discovers a series of tunnels hidden behind a statue and sets out to explore them, overcoming a number of booby-traps.

(This could be like when Hopper, Joyce and Murray disguised themselves as Russian soldiers but was than discovered by Grigori who attacks them.

The tunnels could be both groups discovering that there is a secret russian base underground and a gate which explains why there are monsters again in Hawkins but it also be the Source, Brimborn Steel Works, where the Mindflayer is lurking underground where he has cult-like followers who makes sacrifices for him to grow bigger and bigger.

It's also like the Tunnels in season 2 who explains why the soil of Hawkins seemed to literally rot. )

The trio reach an underground temple where the Thuggees worship Kali with human sacrifice. They discover that the Thuggees now possess three of the Sankara stones and have enslaved the children to search for the last two, hidden in the palace catacombs. As Indy tries to retrieve the stones, he, Willie, and Shorty are captured. Thuggee high priest Mola Ram forces Indy to drink a potion that puts him into a trance-like state in which he mindlessly serves the cult. (It's very much like Robin and Steve who after discovering the gate are catched by the Russians and than drugged to answer their questions. But also like the Flayed who drinks the chemicals and serves the Mindflayer like a mindless cult.)

Willie is prepared for sacrifice, while Shorty is put to work in the mines with the other children. Shorty escapes and returns to the temple, where he first frees Indy and, later, the Maharajah from the effects of the potion. Indy saves Willie and retrieves the stones. After freeing the children, Indy fights a hulking overseer and leaves him to be killed by a rock crusher. (Basically Dustin saves Steve and Robin. Willie being prepared for sacrifice is kind of like El prepared for sacrifice by Billy in 3x08 but also frees Billy from the effects of the Mindflayer by making him remember his mother, a pretty blonde woman like Willie and sacrifices himself. And Hopper fights Gregori, a "hulking overseer" and kills him.)

The trio escape from the temple, pursued by Thuggees, and barely escape Mola Ram's attempt to flood them out. They are again ambushed by Mola Ram and his henchmen on a rope bridge above a crocodile-infested river. Indy cuts the bridge, causing several of the henchmen to fall to the crocodiles and leaving the survivors to hang on for their lives. As Mola Ram and Indy struggle, Indy invokes the name of Shiva, causing the stones to glow red-hot and burn through Indy's satchel. Two of them fall out; Mola Ram tries to catch the third, but burns his hand and falls from the bridge and into the river, where he, too, is eaten by the crocodiles. (This can be connected to all the kids fighting in Hawkins with the Spider Monster. But the bridge could also fit for the key in the secret base where Hopper and Gregori fights. The gruesome death of Mola Ram is similar to the gruesome death that Gregori has.)

Indy catches the stone safely and climbs up just as a company of British Indian Army riflemen, sent by the Maharajah, arrive and open fire against the Thuggees to drive them away; the surviving Thuggees are soon cornered and arrested by more soldiers. Indy, Willie, and Shorty return safely to Mayapore with the stone and the missing children. (While it may end well in the movie, we know Billy and multiple people die, the Thuggees unlike the Russians have been captured while the Russians where all able to flee before the US Army arrives and Hopper is presumed dead. Only the children in both stories are alive but are probably traumatized for life.)

All in all we can see that this movie might have had a big influence on the plot of season 3 through many characters and more. It may have some hints about possible events for Hopper in season 4 or even beyond but that's about it for. It's a nice package of comparaisons and references though.

The gnome is found in the Hawkins Community Pool where Billy is. The same Billy who obeys mindlessly the Mindflayer and sacrifices people to it. Just like the Thuggees with Kali.

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Gnome #5: Chunk

"Posed in some odd dance maneuver."

Overall plot:

"In the film, a band of kids who live in the "Goon Docks" neighborhood of Astoria, Oregon, attempt to save their homes from foreclosure and, in doing so, they discover an old treasure map that takes them on an adventure to unearth the long-lost fortune of One-Eyed Willy, a legendary 17th-century pirate. During the adventure, they are chased by a family of criminals who want the treasure for themselves."

So first, let's get this out of the way, Sean Astin who play Bob Newby, our beloved who plays a character named Mikey.

The Goonies is a 1985 American adventure comedy film co-produced and directed by Richard Donner from a screenplay by Chris Columbus, based on a story by executive producer Steven Spielberg. In the film, kids who live in the "Goon Docks" neighborhood of Astoria, Oregon, attempt to save their homes from foreclosure and, in doing so, they discover an old treasure map that takes them on an adventure to unearth the long-lost fortune of One-Eyed Willy, a legendary 17th-century pirate. During the adventure, they are chased by a family of criminals who want the treasure for themselves.

I wonder if this might hint at some Season 4 plot right here. The Hawkins gang faces the threat of Hawkins becoming a literal ghost down and might need to find something to save it. Also Willy like William, again Will is still there.

The Goonies include optimist lead Goonie Mikey Walsh, his older brother Brandon, the inventive Data, the talkative Mouth, and the overweight klutz Chunk.

Rummaging through the Walshes' attic, they come across a 1632 doubloon and an old treasure map purporting to lead to the treasure of legendary pirate "One-Eyed Willy", believed to be located somewhere nearby. Mikey considers One-Eyed Willy to be the original Goonie. (It kinda reminds me of Mike who got mad at Max in season 2 and told her they didn't need another party member. And he mentionned Will first right after him.)

The kids overpower and bind Brandon and make their way to an abandoned restaurant on the coast that coincides with the map; Brandon soon follows alongside Andy, a cheerleader with a crush on him ( there has been cheerleaders that have been reported in season 4 such as Chrissy.); and Stef, Andy's friend. The group quickly discovers the derelict restaurant is a hideout of the Fratelli crime family: Francis, Jake, and their mother. (Maybe it is both a reference to the Russians in season 3 who have a hideout under the mall who have many restaurants. Or the Lab who OBVIOUSLY does a lot of illegal activities. )

The Goonies find a tunnel in the basement and follow it (like the tunnels made by the Mindflayer in season 2), but when Chunk flags down a motorist to go to the sheriff’s station, he gets abducted by the assailants and imprisoned with their hulking, deformed, younger brother Sloth. (This is obviously like Dustin who befriends Dart in season 2, a literal Demogorgon in the making.)

The Fratellis interrogate Chunk until he reveals where the Goonies have gone, and begin pursuit. Chunk is left behind with Sloth, but befriends him. After Sloth frees both of them, Chunk calls the sheriff, and both follow the trail of the Fratellis. (This is very reminiscent of Hopper in season 1 who gets interrogated by Lab agents or Steve and Robin by the Russians.)

The Goonies evade several deadly booby traps along the tunnels, while staying ahead of the Fratellis. Finally, they reach the grotto where Willy's pirate ship, the Inferno, is anchored. (Will also has a ship, the rainbow ship he drew for Joyce, also Inferno literally means Hell just like what Hawkins has been called.)

The group discovers the ship is filled with treasure, and they start filling their pockets, but Mikey warns them not to take any on a set of scales in front of Willy, considering that to be their tribute to him. As they leave the ship, the assailants appear and strip them of their loot. They start to bind the Goonies and make them walk the plank, until Chunk arrives with Sloth and distracts the assailants long enough for the Goonies to jump overboard and swim to safety. (It's the opposite of the season 2 finale, where Dustin has to distract Dart so that the other could pass through the tunnels.)

The Fratellis proceed to grab all the treasure they can, including those on Willy's scales; this triggers another booby trap that causes the grotto to cave in. With Sloth's help, the Goonies and Fratellis barely escape.

The two groups emerge on Astoria's beach, where they reunite with the Goonies' families and the police. The Fratellis are arrested, but Chunk prevents Sloth from also being taken; he invites Sloth to live with him, which Sloth accepts. ("Unfortunately", Dart compared to Sloth probably died.)

As the kids describe their adventure to their parents, the Walshes' housekeeper, Rosalita, discovers that Mikey's marble bag is filled with gems he took from the ship and had not been seized by the Fratellis. Mikey's father triumphantly rips up the foreclosure papers, declaring they have enough money to negate the foreclosure. As the Goonies celebrate, they see the Inferno, having broken free of the grotto, sailing off on its own in the distance. (Could it be hinting at a possible happy ending for Stranger Things ?)

So Fratellis, is similar to fratello which means "brother, fellow, neighbor" which perhaps could be a reference to the Mindflayer who is kind of our neighbor since he is basically in the same places but in the Upside Down. The Mindflayer also has been paralleled to Billy and other abusive father figures. Billy who is the brother of Max. He has also been paralleled to Kali through his anger and him attacking people who hurted him or might hurt him. Could in itself The Mindflayer should be taken or seen as some sort of family figure ? Maybe him being always associated with Will The Wise especially in 2x04 or someone who has the name Will like Billy is a connection. The same Billy who also parallels Russians who just like the Fratellis have secret hideouts.

Though the Fratellis are more motivated by greed which fits Brenner, Lonnie (who tried to use his son's death to gain money.) or Russians most.

Now Willy, Willy is a captain. Maybe it could be hinting at the fact that Will has more importance to the story than we think. There's also Inferno, "Hell" which is Hawkins but also the name of the ship. And Will has a rainbow ship... Could Hawkins be the ship of Will where his adventures are taking place ?

As for the dance... well as you've seen upper in the post: it's the "Truffle Shuffle Dance". It's something that Chunk has to do before entering Mikey's house. It's similar to what Dustin do at the beginning of season 1 to the bullies when he makes his bones crack due to his medical condition, cleidocranial dysplasia.

As for where this gnome is located, it's in Weathertop where Cerebro is located which is fitting since Dustin has a lot of Goonies as inspiration for his character.

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Gnome #6: Elvis

"He's not dead!"

"Elvis Aaron Presley (January 8, 1935 – August 16, 1977), also known simply as Elvis, was an American singer and actor. Dubbed the "King of Rock and Roll", he is regarded as one of the most significant cultural icons of the 20th century. His energized interpretations of songs and sexually provocative performance style, combined with a singularly potent mix of influences across color lines during a transformative era in race relations, led him to both great success and initial controversy." - Wikipedia.

It is a lot known that people in the 80's thought that Elvis Presley was still alive due to his status and the aura he had as a celebrity. However, no matter how appealing this myth may be, he died of an excessive usage of prescription drugs which reminds me of Nancy who said she thought Tom was on drugs when he fired her and Jonathan while he an the Flayed were drinking chemicals. He also died in 1977, the same year "Heroes" by David Bowie came out which is a song that was used two times when we thought a character died when he was actually alive which are Will and Hopper. Will and Hopper both have a lot of rock in their Spotify playlist.

Also, I personally think that Steve has kind of an Elvis Presley aura to him especially in season 1. After all, Steve has a nickname "King Steve" and Elvis Presley is often nicknamed "The King" and both were popular with girls.

Fun fact: Dacre Montgomery who plays Billy who literally becomes the new "King" of Hawkins will play in the biographical music drama "Elvis" about Elvis Presley where he will play a character called "Steve Binder".

Also actor David Harbour also got married with singer Lily Allen by Elvis in Las Vegas.

It's also found hidden behind bushes near the Public Library. Maybe indicating that Elvis is still out there in the world and hiding.

Which also may be a reference to Brenner who has a similar haircut but also about the novel "Suspicious Minds", a prequel of ST taking place in the Lab when Brenner was doing his sinister experiments which is the same title as one of the songs of Elvis. Like Elvis, Brenner is still out there, hiding in Hawkins.

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Gnome #7: Jack

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull gnome."

Again another reference to Shining. So what you are seeing here is a proverb, it means:  "It means that without time off from work, a person becomes both bored and boring."

In Shining, it represents Jack's slow descent into madness. But it could be a reference to Joyce, Jonathan and Nancy who all work their asses off and don't take a lot of time for themselves and so don't have the time to explore anything else than work which also cause for them not to be there when Will got kidnapped. It may also represent Jonathan's words to Nancy in season 1 where he "called out" the boring life she will have and that she will live like her parents so in this case the proverb becomes about societal norms.

Mike just like Jack is an aspiring writer, Mike just like other members of his family falls into these societal norms that are expected like work and overworking in this instance which makes them boring in the eyes of people like Jonathan. "No play" may also reference D&D which Mike started to ignore in season 3 and worried more pointless and superficial things.

Again, hope it doesn't foreshadow anything for these two characters.

This gnome is found in the Library which is fitting considering Jack wants to be a writer.

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Gnome #8: Flynn (Flynn Rider from "Tangled" (2010))

"Looks like he rides well."

Overall plot of Tangled (2010):

"The film tells the story of Rapunzel, a lost, young princess with magical long blonde hair who yearns to leave her secluded tower. Against her abusive foster mother's wishes who kidnappee her when she was young, she accepts the aid of an intruder to take her out into the world which she has never seen."

This story is literally what the boys was arguing about at the end of season 1.

1)The lost knight...

Flynn Rider is actually the son of a king and queen that were from a kingdom that got destroyed by a powerful opal. He was evacuated and placed in an orphanage. He made his reputation as thief.

So Mike and El both parallels this guy, well Mike is a palladin in D&D and he is the son of a wealthy family so he is basically a night. El however also lost her parents like him and has more attributes of a knight in season 1 than Mike.

Flynn is arrogant, which Mike can be a bit sometimes but the both of them can be extremely courageous and care a lot about the people they care about though they are not very strong, nor athletic. Maybe Flynn a bit more.

Also fun coincidence Flynn = Finn, the name of the actor who plays Mike. (almost the same name).

Both him and El run into each other in the woods. Just like Flynn who discover Rapunzel while trying to enter Rapunzel's tower but is knocked out by her who is none other than the...

2)The proud princess...

Well first Rapunzel = Eleven. Both of these girls have magical powers and are used by an abusive and evil parental figure who needs them for their own interest, Mother Gothel used the powers of Rapunzel to stay young forever (like an addiction, a drug) and Martin Brenner aka "Papa". They are both locked away somewhere. El in the lab and Rapunzel in the tower which they both seeked to escape out of. Both believed that these parental figures loved them while it was not true. El also has long blond hair in season 1 like Rapunzel. And both quickly form a relationship with a boy they just met. Both don't know who their real parents are and wants to find them. While Rapunzel has long blonde hair, El had a shaved head.

Also in season 2, El is locked in a cabin in the woods because of Hopper because he believe it is not safe out there which is exactly what Mother Gothel tells Rapunzel. Just like her El disobeys and seeks to discover who her true parents are.

Rapunzel seeks to know what are those floating lights that always appear on her birthday, it is actually her parents who are the king and queen of a kingdom not so far away that do that every year hoping one day she will come back to her. She is a "lost princess". It is very similar to Terry Ives who was communicating through the lights to El.

Rapunzel's power comes out of something that is also connected to something famous in ST.

3) Weird flowers in the cave...

Rapunzel's power come from a flower called "Sundrop flower". = Sunflower which is said by Terry Ives.

This flower can pretty much heal anything including mortal wounds. The Queen got pregnant with Rapunzel but was also terribly sick so she took this flower to heal herself and while doing so, Rapunzel got this ability.

This is very reminiscent of Terry Ives who was pregnant with El and took part in the MKUltra experiences that gave her these powers including certain drugs. She is also "ill" in a way as she is now stuck in a loop. At least from what we saw.

But Rapunzel also parallels another character.

Will Byers. Will could communicate through lights to his mother, just like the parents of Rapunzel and Terry Ives.

The weird flowers could be referencing the sort of vines that entered inside of him in the Upside Down which gave him his "now-memories".

Both had abusive parental figure that would lock them somewhere for whatever reason. (Lonnie with Will in his trunk.)

(Also Hopper may have tried to separate Mike and El but he wasn't like what a Lonnie or Brenner would have been. This is why yes, the situation in season 2 parallels but Hopper truly wished good for El while Brenner and Mother Gothel didn't care for any of these two.)

Same is for Lonnie, he doesn't care about Will.

Since Will is a cleric, both him and Rapunzel have the same time of power. Powers that El doesn't have:

To heal the sick and injured

To revive the dead

To work as a shield

Given this story, it may hint at the fact that Brenner and Lonnie may try to take El and Will for their own greed and purposes.

Since Rapunzel parallels both Will and El, you know what that means for Flynn who parallels Mike.

Flynn in the movie is stabbed by Mother Gothel and dies before cutting the hair of Rapunzel killing Mother Gothel in the process. Rapunzel mourns him and one of his tears heal him.

If Flynn parallels Mike, than something bad could happen to him. If Will does have powers and has feelings for Mike, a supposed death may reveal his powers.

And if he has the same powers as his cleric role, than he could heal those who get hurt or even bring the dead back to life.

If Lonnie sees Mike around Will, given he is homophobic. He may try to hurt him so that he doesn't go near Will again which could lead to him being in grave danger.

Of course all of that is just speculation.

This gnome was found on the parking lot of Starcourt where El decided to break up with Mike and we saw Will smiling in the background.

Also I don't know but... "Looks like he rides well", I mean there's certain undertones to that which are... I don't know how to process that but from what you've just read, Mike apparently rides well. I mean I have nothing against gay sex jokes but still...

Even if it's unintentional, it's how it'll sound on the internet.

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Gnome #9: David

"At 399, he's the oldest gnome around."

So this gnome was already in the first ST official mobile game. And this reminds me a lot of The Lord Of The Rings and The Hobbit but also and of course; Dungeons & Dragons.

The World of David the Gnome, originally titled David, el Gnomo (also known as David, the Gnome), is a Spanish animated television series based on the children's book The Secret Book of Gnomes, by the Dutch author Wil Huygen and illustrator Rien Poortvliet. The series was originally created in Spain by BRB Internacional (who were also responsible for the Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds franchise (Like Dart in season 2 and Mike, Lucas and Dustin where very much like the Three Musketeers in season 1.) and other cartoons such as Bobobobs and Around the World with Willy Fog)

The series presents the gnomes as a kind species, of 15 centimetres (6 inches) of height, and between 250 and 300 grams (8 and 10 ounces) of weight depending on gnome body mass. According to their habitat, different types of gnomes are distinguished: the ones of the forest, the ones of the garden, the ones of the farm, the ones of the house, the ones of the dunes, those of Siberia (David = David Harbour = Hopper = Hopper is in Russia), and nomadic "gypsy" gnomes (commonly looked down upon by other gnomes). A gnome's lifespan is usually 400 years, though there is one example of a couple in the Balkans living 550 years.

Gnomes such as the main characters live in pairs in comfortable caves or holes under trees [kinda like Hobbits] (in their case in the company of a pair of mice and a cricket). Their diet is mostly vegetarian. They are helped by the animals of the forest (kinda like Radagast who is the password to Castle Byers who is located in the woods) when travelling long distances or when they need to arrive quickly at a specific location. Gnomes work in various ways to repair the damage inevitably caused by humans. They also have the power of telepathy and mind control. (kinda like El or the Mindflayer, or even Galadriel in The Lord Of The Rings.)

Their main enemies are the trolls, malevolent and clumsy creatures who always make trouble for the other inhabitants of the forest, as well as gnome poachers. They have supernatural powers that are really strong but they have a weakness, if the sunlight gets on them, they turn to stone.(could be referencing all the Upside Down creatures who don't like sunlight and everything hot.) [Also very much like the Hobbit.] Also one of the trolls was voiced by someone who had the name Henderson, like Dustin Henderson. I also think it references a comic where some bullies attack Will and Mike calls them trolls.

Here are the most important characters:

David is a gnome of the forest. David is 399 years old, making him the oldest gnome around (since gnomes live no more than 400 years exactly, except Franklin, the gnome from the west, who lived 550 years), although he possesses exceptional constitution. David is a doctor, and he uses his knowledge of many fields, such as hypnosis and acupuncture, to heal his patients, usually animals, such as his faithful friend Swift the fox, or other gnomes. David also befriends a bird that, when he whistles, immediately arrives to quickly transport him to wherever necessary. For longer trips, he sometimes travels in a basket attached to the neck of the bird. (It may be a reference to clerics who are known to heal their allies and travelling with birds reminds me of Gandald who sometimes has the help of Eagles in some stories.)

Paul is David's twin brother. Not only does Paul have a normal moustache in contrast to David's handlebar moustache but his jumper is a darker shade of blue, he has a bigger nose, his gnome hat is dark blue whereas David's is red, and his trousers and boots are an inverse of David's: David's trousers are brown and his boots are beige, while Paul wears beige trousers and dark boots. (Of course this is a reference to Will and El who have been compared a lot of times throughout the show and who a lot of people in the fandom consider them siblings and twins, Will has a lot of Red in his wardrobe while El has a lot of blue.)

This gnome was found in a secret Russian base underground in Weathertop where Dustin discovers the Russian transmission coming from their main base located under the mall like a cave (like where gnome lives.). There are also gnomes in Siberia and having the name David, the name of Hopper's actor creates a connection since right now Hopper is in Russia. It may also be a nod to the group of kids who are all little gnomes running around the forest with their magical powers.

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Gnome #10: Baskin

"Robin's favorite gnome."

Now this is a funny one.

This is a reference to the famous Baskin-Robbins which is a chain of ice cream restaurants that did special ice creams for Season 3 because of Scoops Ahoy. It is Robin's favorite gnome because they literally share the same name.

Baskin could also be a reference to the film of the same name where Five police officers, Remzi, Arda, Yavuz, Apo, and Seyfi, are dining at a restaurant, during which they have a discussion. Their meal is interrupted when they receive a distress call from Inceagac, a town known for being the focus of strange rumors. During the trip Seyfi has a terrifying vision of a bloody figure and accidentally drives their van into the water. Stranded, the officers eventually make their way to Inceagac, where they find themselves in an abandoned building (back in the Ottoman days, this used to be a police station), captured by cult members and are subjected to a number of increasingly bizarre and surreal scenarios. In the end, they realize they have all inadvertently wandered into Hell.

It has alot of similiraties with stories like Silent Hills or Hellraiser, two stories that inspired Stranger Things especially Hellraiser for Stranger Things 4. And it fully embraces the satanic imagery and themes which is something we are going to see with the satanic panic and also has the theme of time, dreams and visions.

We'll see how much season 4 decides to use those sort of elements in the show.

Well this gnome is easy to find. It's in the Scoops Ahoy parlor next to Robin. USS Butterscotch seems to be very popular there

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Gnomes 11 - 20 coming soon.

[transbuckaroo]

pain, applause

hello. my name is andrew, and i wrote a short lambden fic a few days ago. this will be based on the “following the thread” quest from “the witcher 3: wild hunt” developed by cd projekt red. the characters are based on dev patel as sir gawain in the 2021 film “the green knight” as directed by david lowery, and paul bullion in the upcoming 2021 seaon 2 of “the witcher” as directed by stephen surjik. i haven’t written very much these past two or three years, but i am proud of this finished product. please keep any comments/criticisms kind. thank you, enjoy!

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The moment Aiden realized how well and truly fucked him and Baby Steadfast were, he was already surrounded on all sides. He could sense them. His medallion hummed gently against his chest with the signal of danger with every step he took. If he could get out of this clearing, he thought, just into the tree line to stay hidden. It wasn’t far; he could make it, just keep going. The Cat kept his hand at the ready to make quick work of grabbing his battle axe and kept his breaths even as he walked. Aiden knew what was waiting for him. It seemed the fox did as well. Always intuitive, the little one.

Jad Karadin came out of the trees in front of him like a shadow from an alley, looming and dagger drawn in his right hand. Aiden slowed his pace, too exposed, ears picking up the slide of multiple steel swords off to the left. Then two figures emerged from behind Jad, appearing as if they had come directly from within his body. Lund first, after came Hammond. Baby laid back his ears flat, centering himself lower to the ground in a defensive position. He placed himself between the three and Aiden as he went.

There was no running from them. These people were never meant to be his enemies; Jad was supposed to be his brother especially. If anyone here was supposed to be on his side more than anyone, it was Jad. An elder Cat, someone Aiden was supposed to be able to look up to as a mentor. Jad had broken the mold. Had children, a wife, a life away from being a Witcher. Beyond it. He had proof that there was more.

These things didn’t matter anymore. Whoever Jad Karadin was supposed to be was pointless now. Because he was an evil man today. He and whoever else followed him here.

Aiden drew his axe, pulling a deep and centering breath as he went. There were more of this group, hiding somewhere in the thick of trees, awaiting their moment. This was only to end one of two ways. There would be no other option besides these. For a split second, Aiden found himself missing the presence of a certain Wolf over his right shoulder.

Lambert. Lambert wouldn’t let him get hurt. He would protect Aiden here and now, and the Cat wouldn’t have to worry about a thing. In fact, Lambert would have already drawn his sword and made a calculated advancement on their enemy. He would have won, too, because Aiden has never seen him fail a task when he gets that crease between his brows as they furrow in his determination. Lambert, with his fiery curls and attitude to match. Lambert, with his impossible wit and unrelenting promises made to Aiden that have never broken. Lambert, the little brother of Kaer Morhen, baby of the lot of them.

Lambert, who Aiden swore to see back in the valley in Kaedwen where the Buina and Gwenllech rivers part in Daevon so them and Baby Steadfast could finally make the trek up to Kaer Morhen together.

The heat in between Aiden’s shoulder blades told him he wasn’t going to make it up to the keep this year.

“Aiden,” Jad spoke, knuckles white around the hilt of his dagger. Aiden snapped back into focus. He didn’t even dare to blink. “You know why I’ve come?”

“I didn’t kill the Duke’s daughter. I couldn’t save her. I tried.” The contract Aiden had held just months ago in the start of spring. A young girl, cursed, incurable despite the Duke’s pleads and Aiden’s best attempts to reverse it. She had succumbed to her circumstances. Aiden was paid for his efforts, bowed his head with sorrow as the Duke grieved, and went on his way.

“I’ve come to hear otherwise. You’ve botched it, boy. People are angry with the results of your work and lack thereof. You fucked up, and you’ve not shite to say for it.”

“I didn’t botch anything, I did my job. Not everyone gets a happy ending, Karadin. You’re a Cat. A Witcher. You should know.”

To be completely honest, Aiden hadn’t a goddamnable clue how he was going to get through this. Maybe he could take them. Most rivals don’t tend to waste time talking through events, let alone listen to their target. This time, maybe this time, Aiden could walk away with a mere banishment from the city. Possibly, hopefully, he could meet Lambert in time in the valley.

“You’re right,” said Jad, some semblance of resignation on his face. It wasn’t real, his tone sounded fabricated. “Aiden. Not everyone gets a happy ending.”

The arrow came right in that moment, whizzing through the air and lodging itself into the ground by Aiden’s left foot. He startled, stepped back, whipping his head around to try and follow its trajectory. Someone was up high. Someone was in the trees. Jad brought a sniper with him. Of course he did. Oh, of course that motherfucker did. This horrid, abomination of a man. The tree line was too dense, impossible to know where in the leaves the arrow came from where Aiden was standing in the field. He had only tried to look for a moment though before the sound of running footsteps came too close for comfort. And fuck, he could only gain so much momentum with his axe from this angle but he had to try.

Aiden spun back around on his heel, hands braced on either end of the hilt of his axe, prioritizing blocking the blow and creating distance before landing a strike of his own. Jad was successfully pushed back at the chest. Sent fumbling backwards to regain his footing. He growled in anger at the same time Aiden swung at his accompanying attackers, just barely missing them with the blade of his weapon. Steel struck and sounded a metal clang through the clearing. Aiden grunted with the effort of three-and-a-sniper against one, swinging his axe to catch a sword under the head and vaulting his enemy away. Distance was vital, energy was crucial to use sparingly.

“Baby!” He shouted towards his fox, whom of which was bee-lining for the trees where the arrow had come. “No! Run home! Home! Go home!”

It was something they’d agreed upon once. Home. They knew what home was, who home was. Where home was. The valley. Lambert. The point they meet and part at every year, the small town the Wolves have passed through many times in prior years. It was an easy place to go. That was where they found home, him and Baby. Lambert was home. Baby Steadfast knew this command well and clear as day. Go home. Go find Lambert; he’ll know what it means for the fox to show up without the company of his Cat Witcher. He’ll spring into action.

All it took was one incorrect turn, expose just a little too much of something or other, at just the right moment. It wasn’t because he’d called out to Baby; he knew how to give direction without faltering in his task. It was fucked luck. Terrible, awful, shit luck. All he did was avoid another two arrows in the ground, one grazing his cloak as it went.

Jad caught him in his right side with his dagger, blade plunging in deep and ripping a pained and surprised shout from Aiden’s throat. All the way in and right back out. Aiden staggered, snarled, and lunged at the man in front of him. Jad was a monster on this day, and Witchers know damn well to dispose of those. His side was on fire. The younger Cat swung, but Jad ducked underneath the blade. As Aiden turned with the momentum, one of the others kicked a boot into his chest and sent him backwards into Karadin’s grasp. The dagger entered the same area as before as Jad grappled an arm around Aiden’s throat. He was stuck. He was bleeding horribly. Baby Steadfast had gone to get Lambert. There was no way they would find one another in time.

With a strong shove from the man behind him, the dagger dislodged, and in the same moment whoever was at his left ripped his axe out of his hands. Aiden tried to spin around to face them as he propelled forward, but only managed to end up on his back on the grass. It was still cold with morning dew. Aiden could see the fog of his breath as he fell.

And in the most startling of realizations as Jad came to kneel over him, Aiden realized he was going to die. Without Baby. Without his dignity. Without Lambert. Without telling Lambert how much he truly and purely loved him.

He thought he had more time. Had it all planned out. They would meet in three weeks hence, and the night before they would make the ascent to the keep for the winter, Aiden would tell Lambert that he loved him in their room. This incredible, selfless, beautiful Wolf. Part of him even believed Lambert might say it back. He would feel the same. They were just like comfortable lovers already, what with the way they shared beds and blankets and curled up in the night to sleep, the way they helped wash and put up one another’s hair, cooked for each other, looked out for each other, lost all sense of personal space with each other. Melitele, the two of them even refused to separate their bedrolls while they camped out during their travels. They called each other “pup” and “kitten” respectively, dressed wounds, mended clothes and armor, cleaned weapons, hunted together, laughed and smiled and hugged and shared stories. Oh, Lambert was beautiful. Of course Aiden was in love with him. To expect anything else were a fool’s game.

“Oh, kitty cat,” he heard from above, and focused his eyes on Jad. The coldness of his gaze, so detached and unaffected. The only indication he’d ever been in a fight at all was the way his chest pulled bigger breaths than before. “Don’t go and cry now, will ye? This is just the natural order of things.”

Oh, Gods above, Aiden was crying. Silent little tears slipping free from the corners of his eyes, sliding down into his hair that lay fanned out in the grass below. Without dignity indeed. Wounds screaming in white-hot pain, vision blurring with tears that he could not control, heart aching, voice beyond him.

“Please,” the younger Cat spoke in a soft, quivering voice. He blinked hard once, twice, willing the tears away. They did not relent.

“Please.” He was being mocked. Then someone spat from out of his sight right into his hair. It smelled of salmon and tobacco. This time Jad’s dagger entered slowly, and new hot tears fell from Aiden’s eyes with the hurt of it, hand coming to grab his wrist in a feeble attempt to stop him. It did nothing. If anything it encouraged the man.

Aiden couldn’t grant him the final victory of looking away from Karadin’s eyes. Even as the blade ripped out of his body once more. Karadin spoke again. “You beg me to spare your life. Your pathetic little life. Insignificant, worthless, liar’s life. You were never going to change; your batch was doomed from the start. Your death is hardly any repayment, but it is the best we can do to provide peace and closure for the Duke and his people. A life for a life. It is but the way of the world, Aiden. Certainly you understand.”

Oh, he understood. A life for a life was the most polite way to speak of revenge. Talk of debts and dues, exchanges of wins and losses. A life for a life meant a day of reckoning to come. Lambert, kind as Aiden ever saw him, would cash this in as quickly and mercilessly as he could. He was coming no matter what. If he was unable to save Aiden now, he as sure as all things was going to tear apart whoever hurt him. What a gorgeous soul he was.

The fourth and final stab, a telling sign of Karadin’s assassinations. Aiden couldn’t fight it this time. A cluster of wounds just under the right side of someone’s ribs, always in four, always fatal. Aiden choked out a cry of searing agony, feeling the blade twist inside of him with force, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his jaw so tightly he should have broken a few teeth. It twisted again as it was taken out, and all Aiden could do was let the fat tears roll as it happened. He felt Jad grab his medallion from under his shirt and opened his eyes as it was ripped off his neck and placed into a pouch at Karadin’s hip. Proof of death. The easiest form of it, but still worth enough to get paid. Hired by anyone associated closely with a Duke, Jad was sure to be rewarded handsomely for his work.

“Now,” spoke Jad. Aiden’s eyes were starting to get heavy, chest heaving, vision spotting behind the blur of tears. “You’ll be gone in moments, boy. A few minutes and this will be over. The pain will dull just prior, don’t fret. I will not seek out your fox nor that Wolf you travel with, but should they come I will be ready. Goodnight, Aiden. Sleep well.”

Then Jad started to walk away. Hammond and Lund went with him. Aiden could only lay there in the grass, sending his apologies to Baby and Lambert skyward and hope they would understand. He never meant for this to happen. If there hadn’t been that damned sniper, then maybe he could have taken them. But there was no time to dwell now. Darkness crept in, and Aiden’s breathing slowed, and it went dark once and for all as he bled out. He had failed. He was sorry. He could only imagine how horrifically pathetic he appeared. Perhaps he could be forgiven in time by his fox and his Wolf for never coming home.

In some months, when the snow lay thick on the ground, white and untouched blanketing where grass once resided, there would be the choking gasp of a man within the Brokilon Forest. Waking from a healing sleep induced by an old magic, cast by resident Dryads within the cover of trees that towered above. Known by many as the forest of death, breathing life back into someone who simply had not been due to die.

“Sir Witcher Aiden,” said a calming voice, a person standing kindly to the side. Her palm lay gently at the crown of his head, soothing. “We welcome you back to the living world. It has been some time.”

[redrobinhoods]

“you have to let me go” | Febuwhump 2021

TW: Major Character Death

A/N: Y’all ready for the most tender whump I have ever written? AU where the clones’ rapid aging stops at 18 or a serum was administered to some to stop it.

Summary: A stormtrooper is sent to kill a Jedi.

AO3 Link | Febuwhump Index

Tatooine was hot. It had every right to be, with binary suns that beat down relentlessly onto its sands that reflected their rays across the landscape, making everything awash with golden light.

He had been golden once too.

But no longer. He had not been golden in a very long time, long enough for the clone to question if he ever was, or if he had just bought into the propaganda. Either way, his armor was as bare as the armor of the young men around him, save for the orange pauldron denoting his rank. The Imperial Army was the first one in which he had served where he felt that everyone looked the same. There was no identity for a stormtrooper.

“Target identified. Identity confirmed.” Read out the man beside him as he peered through the macrobinoculars. “Guess our information was correct.”

“That would be a first.” The commander said impassively. The officers who surrounded him believed him to be a man prone to deadpan comedy. The rookies, for they were called rookies now, believed him to be humorless and cruel. The commander wasn’t sure himself which side of the spectrum he fell on anymore.

“You can say that again, sir.” Laughed the heavy weapons specialist beside him. He fell into the first category. He also had a name, but the commander had stopped associating names with the men under him long ago. He knew their names, their numbers, their entire history within the Imperial Army, but once the white armor fell over his body, they were all indistinguishable stormtroopers.

The commander drew his blaster. This was a battle fifteen years in the making, he would not fail his Empire again. “Let’s move out.”

The Jedi spotted them immediately and switched his course away from the crowded streets, heading into back alleys and quiet roads. He was anticipating a fight and drawing them away from civilians, a move the commander knew well and approved of. His men did not have the trigger disciple that had been installed in him. Stray blasterfire followed the Imperial Army like the commander’s sins.

The Jedi led them into a deserted hanger before stopping, turning around to face them and dropping his cloak, but not yet igniting his blade. “May I ask the occasion?”

The commander was silent, frozen in place at the sight of the man before him. The fifteen years that had marked their parting had not been kind to the Jedi, but he was still unmistakably himself. He could hear one of his men reading the articles of the purge to the Jedi, but it was lost to him as he held back the emotions that he had put away at the end of the Clone War. He would not fail to them again.

The commander was the first to raise his blaster, looking down the barrel straight at the brush of hair he used to push away from the man’s forehead, and fired.

The man reflected the blaster bolt away from them as his lightsaber sprung to life in his hands.

The commander’s squad moved in, opening fire all at once, the blasterfire overwhelming for all but the most-trained Jedi. But Obi-Wan Kenobi had been a Jedi Master and a practitioner of Soresu. Watching the man’s blade arc to reflect away the blasterfire, the commander concluded that he was still a master of Soresu. It was not long before the commander’s squad lay dead at his feet.

“Who are you?” The man questioned, letting his blade fall lax at his side.

“If you’re asking that question, you already know the answer.” The commander responded.

“I want to hear you say it.”

“A stormtrooper commander in the service of the Empire.” He had no name now.

“Well, you must be rather prestigious if they sent you.” Kenobi was baiting him, but he’d had fifteen long years to respond to the bait.

He let his blaster fall to the floor and reached for the vibroblade dagger at his side. This death would be personal. There was no mercy in his strikes as he swung the blade at the Jedi, forcing the man to dodge or to bring up his blade in protection. Forcing him to strike back. The commander went for the Jedi’s throat, leaving himself open to attack. His strike was blocked by a hand around his wrist and he felt the heat of a lightsaber on his own throat, even through the layers of armor.

“I have orders to kill you.”

“But that’s not why you’re here.” Those beautiful blue eyes could always read his mind. “You came here to die.”

The commander’s arm was beginning to shake against the Jedi’s grip on his wrist. “I came here to finish what we started.”

“I will not kill you.”

“You won’t have a choice.”

“We both have a choice this time.”

The Jedi’s gravity was too much and the vibroblade fell from his fingers.

“Cody.”

The weight of his name on his enemy’s lips was enough to finally fell him. The commander’s legs gave out from under him and the Jedi fell with him, catching him in his arms and pulling him close.

“Cody.” Obi-Wan whispered as he wrapped his arms around Cody’s body, pulling his helmet to rest in the crook of his neck.

“I’m not- I’m not-.” He couldn’t bear to say his former name anymore.

“You have always been my Cody.”

If he didn’t know any better, he would have believed it as he allowed himself to melt into Obi-Wan’s embrace. The years had not been kind to the man, but the body under Cody’s touch was unmistakably that of the man whose love Cody had locked away from himself for years, alongside their names. When the embrace ended, Cody sat up and slowly removed his helmet, baring his face. The distraction worked as Obi-Wan’s gaze locked on his features, and Cody snatched the lightsaber from his grasp. He had not held a lightsaber since the war, but he remembered how it had once felt in his hand as he pressed the metal to his breast. “I have my orders. Kill you or die.”

Obi-Wan’s fingers wrapped around Cody’s, prying them away from the ignition. “I cannot allow either of those things to occur.”

“Please.” He could see Obi-Wan’s eyes soften at the desperation on his face.

“I won’t hurt you.” He protested, just as Cody had imagined he would.

“You could never hurt me. I won’t feel a thing if you light the blade.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “I just got you back.”

Cody’s hands fell from the handle in defeat. Himself he could hurt, he would push his body until it broke, but the pain that he was inflicting on the man he had sworn to never hurt reflected on himself tenfold.

“Come back with me.” Obi-Wan drew the lightsaber away. “Come to my house, eat with me.”

“I will not eat. If you do not kill me, I will allow myself to die rather than obey the Empire.”

Something broke in Obi-Wan’s eyes. “You will eat, and you will watch the sunset with me, and you may lay by my side if you wish, and I promise you, you will not wake.” One last day.

“I accept.”

---

The blankets covering the rough bed were coarse, but they enveloped him as softly as Obi-Wan’s arms, wrapping themselves around Cody’s waist and pulling him close so that his bare back was pressed to Obi-Wan’s bare chest. Then the warm skin behind him pulled away to be replaced by the gentle brush of Obi-Wan’s beard as he pressed kisses to the scars covering Cody’s shoulders, some familiar to him, most not. The tension in Cody’s body melted away with each kiss, each dedication of his former general’s love for him.

“Do you want to…?” The request died on his lips with uncertainty. He was content, but he couldn’t read Obi-Wan’s mind like the man could read his.

“Not if you’re not up for it.” Obi-Wan pressed a firm kiss to the base of Cody’s neck before pulling him back to his chest and resting his head on the nape of his neck. “What do you want?” He would not intrude on Cody’s thoughts without permission.

“Just hold me.”

Obi-Wan pressed his lips to Cody’s skin once more. “I’ll never let you go.”

“You’ll have to let me go one day.” Cody huffed.

“No, no I don’t.”

“I want you to.”

“Relationships are about compromise, my dear.”

For a few moments, Cody was silent as he weighed his next words. “I still love you.”

“And I you.” Obi-Wan reassured him. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.”

“Even after I tried to kill you?”

“It wasn’t you. We were both victims.”

Cody closed his eyes and brought up a hand to rest over Obi-Wan’s crossed arms. “Thank you.” He could face death without remorse in his lover’s embrace.

---

He woke to find death not so different than life. The familiarity of the room he had fallen asleep in, the still-warm bed at his back, his feeling of himself in his body. But when the smell of cooking reached him, he realized why.

“You lied to me.” He spat as he stormed into the kitchen.

Obi-Wan, fully clothed now, stood over the stove watching over a frying pan. “I did.”

Cody collided with him hard, forcing him against the wall. “Why?”

Obi-Wan didn’t struggle under his grip. “Because I love you. I tried, Cody, I tried to keep my promise, but I couldn’t lose you again.”

For a moment, Cody thought that he was going to hit him. But when the rush of emotion ended he found that his arms had remained still as his head moved forward to kiss Obi-Wan. Anger gave way to monumental relief as he took in the breath of the man he loved. Obi-Wan’s hand moved up to tangle his fingers in the short curls that Cody’s regulation cut allowed and pull him deeper into the kiss until Cody’s knees shook. Only then did Obi-Wan allow him to draw away. “Breakfast is burning.”

“I don’t care.” Cody bent back down to press a softer kiss to Obi-Wan’s lips.

Obi-Wan kissed him back as he pushed himself away from the wall, slowly turning their bodies until he had Cody trapped. Then he stepped back. “You will care when the house is on fire.”

Cody stood still in the corner, watching Obi-Wan flip the food in the skillet. When the food was no longer in danger of bursting into flames, Obi-Wan turned back to him. “Come here.” When Cody had crossed the room to stand behind him, Obi-Wan reached back and pulled his hands around his waist. Cody gave into the want without thinking, leaning his head down to rest on Obi-Wan’s shoulder as he watched the food cook.

“Let’s make a new deal.” Cody said.

“What deal is that?”

“I can ask you at any time to fulfill your promise, and you will. But I will refrain from it unless there is no other choice. I will not be a mindless slave again.” He knew Obi-Wan would understand the unspoken part of his request, concerning one order executed unwillingly.

Obi-Wan’s shoulders tensed under Cody for a moment, before relaxing as he sighed. “Okay.”

And promises were kept. Even on the nights when everything in his soul burned, Cody held back from his request as he shook in Obi-Wan’s arms. On those nights, he made himself a different promise- he would see the sunset once more. The sunsets were the only thing on Tatooine comparable to home, when he and his brothers could stand out on the platforms above the waters of Kamino and watch the waves kick up the dying light. Here, the waves of sand spread the pink and purple spread of the dying sunlight around just as the waves at home once had. Maybe they still did, but he couldn’t go home anymore. The Empire had taken that from him too. But they hadn’t taken Obi-Wan, who still looked at him as he had before and whose touch was as gentle as ever despite the rough life he had endured.

In the end, Cody was glad to have found him again. The headaches meant nothing at first, it was easy to become dehydrated on Tatooine, neither did the nausea, the heat that burned down from the suns was nauseating and the blinding sunlight could disorient even the most seasoned being. It was only when he woke and couldn’t move the left side of his body that the problem became real.

He had tried to make light of the situation. “Guess they just go bad.” But he knew, and Obi-Wan knew, what had happened on Ringo Vinda.

That was how he found himself on the cliff’s edge near Obi-Wan’s home, watching the binary sunset color the sands beneath them.

“We don’t have to do this.” But Obi-Wan knew as well as he that they did.

“I will not die a mindless slave to the Emperor. And I will not let that man try to hurt you.” He knelt down in the sand before Obi-Wan. “Please.”

Obi-Wan knelt before him, his head silhouetted like a god by the light of the suns, and slowly drew his lightsaber from its belt. Cody guided the handle to his chest, holding it there while he pressed a hand to Obi-Wan’s jaw and leaned forward to tenderly kiss him, putting all of his love and regrets into the act of love.

“Thank you.” He whispered to him as he drew back, leaving his hand cupping Obi-Wan’s cheek.

“I love you.” Tears were beginning to well in Obi-Wan’s eyes.

“And I love you.” Cody gently wiped the tears away with his thumb as the grip of his other hand tightened on the handle of the lightsaber. “But you have to let me go.”

He had been right before, he never felt the blade. Only his hand falling from Obi-Wan’s face. As the strength drained from his body, Obi-Wan caught him, gently lowering him into his lap. The last thing Cody saw was Obi-Wan’s silhouette in the golden light. Golden. He had been golden once too.

[milasartblog]

Training (Anoli)

In life, no matter how perfect and skilled you are, there is always a place for training. Most of it is about gaining new abilities, in other cases it's just a refresh of your current skills. For Anoli, it was both. She didn’t expect to come up with such thing one day, but she also understands that she can’t always be so kind and sweet every time. Moreover, she still doesn’t know who was that person responsible behind Nazeel’s parents murder. And so, Anoli thought to prepare herself for any situation. The training took its place very recently, as in order to be able to at least hold the sword steady, the warrior must prepare themself mentaly, which Anoli did before the actual training. It was close to the evening, Liya, Nazeel and Sona were all at home. Anoli meanwhile was still outside, somewhere on the outskirts of the city. She warned Liya and Nazeel that she will come back a bit later today. Anoli looked at the horizon, holding a wooden stick that looks like a sword. Seems like she was waiting for someone. Fortunately, this someone didn’t keep her waiting.

Anoli: Thank you so much for accepting such proposition, Michael.

Michael: It’s nothing, I arrived as fast as I could. I’m honestly still surprised that you decided to learn how to use sword.

Anoli smiled as looked at the horizon again, then prepares for the training. She walked some distance and stood on the fighting pose. Michael did the same as looked at Anoli.

Michael: Didn’t change your mind yet?

Anoli: No. I came up with such decision, and I will go till the end with it.

Michael: Okay. Then you should remember one thing: no matter how honorable and generous you are, fight was and will never be fair, neither for skilled one nor for newcomer. Pay attention to moves and tricks that your opponent is about to use.

Anoli: Really? I thought that angels and archangels always fight fair.

Michael: That was long time ago. In our situation, we must be ready for anything, especially with our enemy that tries to harm Nazeel.

Anoli: You’re right.

She sighs deeply, cliching the wooden sword. They made an eye contact before Anoli started her move. Michael dodged her upper attack as swings his sword to her, which she blocked successfully and even pushed it away before making another attempt. Sounds of wooden blades accompanied the fighting as Michael keeps blocking and dodging the strickes. It made Anoli worry a bit.

Anoli: Why is he not attacking? Is he afraid to hurt me?

She thought to herself as stood still for a moment, which Michael noticed.

Michael: Don’t stay still for too long. You’re opened for the enemy.

And he rushes his attack to her right side. In panic, Anoli blocked the blade as tried to hold the position. Now it was her turn to avoid the attacks. Sometimes she had to step back in order to collect her strength and swing. To her surprise, Michael blocked it too...while holding the grip and the blade at the same time, standing almost on the knee. Anoli was stunned and worried, while Michael looked calm and collective.

Anoli: Michael, your ha-

Michael: If you’re going to pay attention to it, your opponent will easily knock you off.

He made a push towards Anoli, making her step back as she almost fell, while Michael put the sword closer to her chest. They both stood still for a moment, then the archangel removed the sword. Anoli looked down with upset face, putting her sword down too. Michael patted her shoulder.

Michael: You did great, Anoli.

Anoli: But I got distracted. I got worried about you and-

Michael: We used wooden swords, remember?

Anoli: Oh....right, I totally forgot about it.

Michael: It’s okay, on the first training emotions and excitement can make the picture too real, However, it can be bad for your attention. Even tho you demonstrated not bad results, your focus and emotions need some work.

Anoli: Wait, do you mean that I should be emotionless?

Michael: No, of course not. Just when we feel anger, as an example, our attacks can be stronger, however our focus will be only on making as much attacks and swings as possible, not paying attention on where to strike better in order to disable the opponent.

Anoli: Disable? Not kill?

Michael: That’s right. 

Anoli: But shouldn’t warriors be ready for such situations? Sword is still a murderous weapon, no matter how you look at it.

The archangel looks down at his wooden sword, thinking. His face was not so confident as before, like this was something he prefered to avoid it, or this took place in his past. Anoli realised that she probably said too much.

Anoli: Sorry, I just-

Michael: No no, it’s okay. It’s just our thing, to disable the opponent and not kill it, no matter how terrible they are. Still, it doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be done. There are fates worse than death from the sword.

Anoli: Oh...I see, I will remember it.

Michael: Good. Shall we try one more time or take a rest?

Anoli: I want to try one more time, then maybe come back home.

Michael: Alright, but first, I would like to teach you something else.

Anoli got curious as Michael showed a sign to come a bit closer. She did it as the archangel put his hand on her head, then suddenly Anoli felt like her and Michael’s powers are synchronized. It was new to her.

Anoli: Woah, I can feel how the power flows through my hand. What is it?

Michael: Just an improved healing ability. Sometimes, less powerful angels have to rely on more powerful ones, and so their powers should be in one wave. And so, such ability allows not only to heal faster, but also strength others if need to.

Anoli: That's incredible! And you will teach me how to do it properly?

Michael: Of course, every angel should be able to do it. And with your quick learning ability, I'm sure it will go fine. So, are you ready to learn?

Anoli: Of course. I'm always ready to help and learn.

Michael: Good. Then let's train a bit more, then take a rest. It's important to have proper rest.

She nodded as they continued training before the evening covered the city with its early stars. Anoli gained some experience during this training, but also felt super tired to cook something, so Liya took the responsibility on it. Fortunately, this time kitchen was not on fire and everyone could enjoy the meal. It's a long way for Anoli to master the sword combat, but she was determined to do it. For the safety of her dearest people.

----------------

And that's the next story for our universe^^ Anoli decided to master not only healing, but also sword techniques. Hope she will succeed in it^^

Anoli and Michael belong to @wildstarfan and @milasartblog (both me)

Okaria et Feria belongs to @wildstarfan and @captainthane

Base for the drawing is by AdorkaStock (SenshiStock)

[oh-boy-me]

:0 could I have a beel,asmo,belphie,lucifer,mammon, satan (not including levi) and diavolo playing videogames? I thought it would be kinda funny since they're all really old- except for levi of course haha

Ohhh this should be fun!

Decided to do individual HCs for this one instead of a group thing so they wouldn’t be limited to multiplayer games.

Most of them, save for a certain prince, have been exposed to games a fair amount by proximity to Levi.

---

Lucifer:

Lucifer has a Mononoke Land account so that he’ll get the email notifications for events and can therefore keep track of Levi’s whereabouts.  He’s never played the game, though, nor downloaded the app, and he has no intention of doing so.

In general, he’s not much of a gamer.  The most gaming he gets done is minesweeper on Windows XP.  He doesn’t have the time, and it was never something he could get into.

That isn’t to say that he owns zero games, though.  His favorite genre is turn-based strategy, because he can afford to look away from them, and they make him think and plan.

He doesn’t like the hyper-realistic ones, though.  Things like Civilization and Here Be Dragons are up his alley, Hearts of Iron not so much.

He doesn’t care too much about the story, but a good soundtrack is mandatory.

Also he’s an old man so the controls also have to be intuitive or he just won’t be able to play.  Why is he jumping when he presses A he thought that was the attack button.

The type of player who needs to get every achievement.  A completionist.

When the group gets together for the rare multiplayer night, he has no idea what he’s doing and yet still manages to do well.  It’s kind of infuriating.

He won’t make alliances with anyone, no, it’s every man for himself.  He also actively targets Mammon no matter what game they’re playing.

The fact that he doesn’t really get it protects his pride when Levi inevitably wipes the floor with him.

Mammon:

Mammon actually does game a little bit in his spare time, mostly with Levi.  He’s got a couple consoles and is more open to different genres than Lucifer is.

He thrives in any game where the main goal is to rack up as many points or as much profit as possible.  He’s undefeated in tycoons and pinball.  (Tetris is an exception; he’s terrible at Tetris.  Stupid spacial recognition.)

The RNG elements boil down to his insane luck, but he’s actually very smart when it comes to investments and stuff, so it’s not like he’s only using his luck to get by.

If the games have multiplayer, even better!  Nothing like kicking Levi, MC and Belphie’s asses in a game of Fortune Street!

He also tends to like the action-focused games that Levi plays.  Not so much into turn-based RPGs, but he enjoys stuff where the enemies spawn, like in Zelda or Rune Factory.  And he’s great at button mashing in fighting games, although Levi, who actually knows how to play them, always beats him.

Mammon uses items as soon as he gets them, and is too busy rushing a boss to care about learning its patterns and strategizing.

Skips cutscenes even on his first run.  Levi and Satan hate him for it.

Like mentioned before, he gets an unfair disadvantage in game nights because everyone targets him.  Especially in those games with RNG, because otherwise he WILL win.

He’s banned from PTW games because he will indeed PTW.

Satan:

Satan is another one who doesn’t play too many games, and that might be for the best because he’s a nightmare to play with.

The sorest loser, and a pretty nasty winner too.  He insists on the hardest difficulty and then rage quits at the slightest inconvenience.

He will play when prompted, though; he’s not above hanging out with his brothers.  His favorite sorts of games are ones with a good story and/or good puzzles.  His planning is more on the tactics side, as opposed to Lucifer’s strategy, so he would love Fire Emblem.

He WILL drop a game if the story isn’t holding his attention, and he’s done so in the past.

Overly cautious and hoards resources.  He takes the safe route every time.

Also another completionist.

Beel would often ask Satan to help him find out which art pieces were originals and safe to buy in Animal Crossing, and Satan got a little bit interested and ended up making a resident on Beel’s cartridge so the donations could be in his name.  He went on a mini-campaign to drive out the residents he didn’t like, but one of them turned out to be Beel's favorite and he felt terrible about it for weeks.

During family game nights, everyone is always torn between appeasing Satan and telling him to deal with it when he loses.

He also gets angry if he catches on to the fact that they’re letting him win, though.

Probably a genwunner.

Asmodeus:

Asmo enjoys video games.  They don’t fit into his aesthetic so he’s never really tried to understand them, but he doesn’t dislike them by any means.

Gaming is becoming more mainstream though, right?  That’s a whole new audience that could appreciate him.  Maybe, just maybe, he can let himself be a bit of a geek.

Unsurprisingly, he’s got a penchant for games with customization options.  Surprisingly, he also really enjoys FPS games.  If he and Levi ever played at the same time, it would be chaos in the House of Lamentation.

As opposed to his in-your-face attitude, he likes to play sniper units.

He said he wants to tap into the gaming community, but he’s not very good at most of the games he plays so he’s too embarrassed to actually do so.  He does, however, play the Sims on livestream.  He does his best to make the steamiest and most dramatic scenarios happen, and he’ll hold strawpolls to let his viewers make some choices.

Asmo also plays Animal Crossing like a few other brothers, but his island is so well groomed and with just the right residents, it feels like you’re touring an uncanny dystopia and Asmo is the dictator.

When the group gets together, he usually ends up doing the worst.  He’s more interested in executing perfect combos than actually dealing damage, so he’s not aggressive enough to get anything done against players like Levi and Satan.

He’s also not very good at teamwork; he starts yelling at his partner very quickly.

Beelzebub:

Beel doesn’t have a lot of “gamer” in him, but some of his brothers seem to like it so he decided to give it a go.  Turns out his hands are too big, but he makes do.  Kind of.

You’d expect a sports game to be the best for him, since he’s so athletic.  However, it’s BECAUSE he’s so athletic that this sort of game isn’t in his library.  He gets too antsy and bored tapping buttons instead of actually playing the sport.

Beel’s also not an aggressive player in any sense of the word.  He feels guilty even hurting the most basic of slimes.

No, no games are better for Beel than the stress-free, casual life simulators.  Animal Crossing is no surprise his favorite one right now.  Satan handles the museum for him while Beel gets to do whatever he feels like in a world where the biggest threat is a wasp.

He’ll also play other low stakes games where living your life is the main goal, like Harvest Moon and Stardew Valley.  His big heart can never choose who to marry in those games.

Horror is also ok for him, because while aggression is hard for him, self-defense is not.

He got the Cooking Mama app on his D.D.D. and bit the device in half, so he’s not allowed to touch that franchise anymore.

When the gang meets up, his non-aggressive side sticks around.  In fighting games, he’s more likely to dodge and steer clear of the others, and in other versus games he’s so open to compromise you’d think you were on the same team.

Satan did get him his favorite resident back.

Belphegor:

Belphie probably games the second most after Levi; it’s something that keeps him entertained but doesn’t require him to move very much at all.

I actually have no idea how to describe his preferred genres, but League of Legends and Dark Souls is basically all you need to know.

League lets him socialize a bit, and it’s the game that he and Levi play together most often.  As for Dark Souls, he loves the sort of game where learning your opponent’s every move and outsmarting/outmaneuvering them is the only path to victory.

I guess that would be described as “really hard action-adventure” games?  He’d also like Sekiro.

He also has his own copy of Animal Crossing to visit and play with Beel, but his island is so underdeveloped you’d think he started that same week.

Belphie is the true wild card of family game nights; sometimes he sleeps through the whole thing, while other times he can take down even Levi.

He has everyone’s habits down to a T--Mammon charges in, Asmo does too much setup, Levi’s overconfident--and he knows how to counter each and every one of them.

For someone who’s so much of a cunning player, though, he also misclicks a lot.

He’s the most likely out of his brothers to make alliances.  He’s also the most likely to break alliances.

If he doesn’t think he can win, he’ll choose a player and start sabotaging the game in their favor.

Diavolo:

Lord Diavolo had read about like, Mario?  The little blue hedgehog guy?  But he’d never owned a gaming console before.  He probably thought Neopets was peak gaming.

Levi swore to fix this grievous error, and this was also a mistake, because now Diavolo keeps trying to get Lucifer to play all these hack and slash games with him.

He has legitimately told Lucifer that “if you don’t play Devil May Cry with me THIS devil may cry!”

The games need to always have something happening in them or he’ll get bored, kind of like Satan’s need for a good story, except with action.

It’s also worth mentioning that “play a game with Diavolo” actually means “sit in the same room as Diavolo while he plays.”

And oh boy… is he terrible at these games.

He just button mashes until either he dies or all the enemies die.

Never uses any of the items he gets because he’s sure he’ll need them more later on.  When, Diavolo?  During the staff roll?

Will bomb a door before trying the knob.

Since he’s usually only around Lucifer, who doesn’t want to get sucked into this, and Barbatos, who honestly couldn’t care less about this, he’s been left alone and free to develop these terrible gaming habits.

It’s rare that he comes to family gaming night.  Legend has it that Lucifer’s piercing glare is somehow connected to the fact that his brothers always let Diavolo win.

Masterlist

[elisaphoenix13]

Well That's Different

You all can thank @zoxiqwritesstuff (and @funkylittlebidiot) for being able to read these fics since they have been the main contributors.

Everything was going well. Of course even William knew that wouldn't last long based on the little bit of experience he and Thomas got helping the Avengers in these battles as well as the stories they told. He was helping innocent bystanders escape by blocking them from any attacks with his magic, and whoever he couldn't cover, Thomas would run over and get them out of the way. It was their usual job while Harley and Peter had graduated to actually helping fight their enemy. Harley rarely stayed behind at the computers anymore after the fight with Thanos, and William still hadn't asked the older boy about that. It was probably exactly what it sounded like though.

"That's everyone." Thomas says when he stops next to his twin. "We can focus on the idiot now."

He motions toward the new bad guy of the week and William nods. They had no idea what the guy's name was because Stephen never let him finish the monologue he started, interrupting him multiple times until he got mad enough to get straight to attacking, and Peter had actually snickered over the comms. Whoever he was though, he could use some form of telekinesis and had a disgusting mutant army that looked like they had crawled out of the sewers.

They probably had.

None of the Avengers could get close enough without being thrown to the side. Not even Quill. In fact, the enemy currently had the god in the clutches of his telekinesis and was tossing him around like a ragdoll, slamming him against buildings or other members of the team. While he was preoccupied with Quill, Harley and Peter landed next to the twins to watch and cringe.

"Maybe the four of us can swarm him at once and surprise him. He can't get us all." Peter suggests.

"Especially not when he's throwing Quill around like that." Harley concurs and the four boys wince when they hear a groan from the celestial when he's thrown against a building.

"We need to go now. He might be immortal but that doesn't mean that doesn't hurt." Thomas says.

"William, can you teleport us over to him?" Harley asks and the youngest nods.

"I think so."

It barely took a thought. One second they were three blocks away from their enemy, and the next they were just a few feet behind him. Navy mist was just beginning to surround William's hands as he began to conjure a spell, but before he or his brothers could do anything, the man turned on them and stopped them with his telekinesis. All four were frozen in their offensive stances as Quill was finally released (and lay unmoving where he was unceremoniously dropped), and instead they were lifted off the ground.

"Well, well. If it isn't Stark's boys." The man grins. "I applaud your enthusiasm but an ambush won't work so easily on me."

William did his best to fight through his frozen state. Telekinesis was a form of magic wasn't it? But nothing was working. He couldn't move an inch and his heart dropped into his stomach when they were thrown back down the street like yesterday's trash. The suits Tony made them kept their collision with the ground from being fatal but it still knocked all but William out. His vision was blackening around the edges but he still tried to get up to check on his brothers until he looked up and saw something flying through the air and straight for them. On instinct, he used his magic to shield the four of them, but the shield fell after what ended up being a car bounced off of it.

William gasps for breath and tries to stay conscious when he hears some kind of unholy roar. Another car was thrown at them, but he didn't have the energy to conjure another shield. He tried to do it anyway, but then the ground shook around him and broke his concentration, and a large shadow loomed over him. The crunching of metal fills his ears and he looks up with wide eyes when he sees a black-scaled dragon standing over them and with the car in its jaws. The dragon drops the vehicle off a safe distance away from the boys and roars at the man before breathing fire at him.

He clearly had tried to use his telekinesis on the dragon, but it was far too big for his abilities and he didn't stand a chance against the flames. William looked away, not wanting to see what happened to their enemy, but he knew it included the mutant army since a few pained screeches had followed. Only when it fell quiet did he look back. All that remained of their enemies was ash, and the Avengers looked over at the dragon in shock. Scott and Natasha eventually went over to Quill to check on him, but they kept most of their attention on the dragon.

Then it sunk lower to gently nose at the conscious boy and William's heart pounded in his chest. The dragon's muzzle was nearly as big as him and he was almost knocked over because of it.

"Honey...Friday says the boys are okay." Tony says with his hands out toward the dragon in a placating position. "How about you change back so we can take them and Porcupine home to get some rest?"

William looks at Tony and then at the dragon before his father's words click and he gapes. "Mom?" The dragon rumbles softly and nudges him again. "I didn't know you could turn into a dragon!"

"Believe me. I didn't either." Tony says. "Duchess, come on. The boys are safe. You incinerated the asshole."

The dragon first checked each boy before it finally shifted back to Stephen and he faltered in place. Sam rushed forward faster than Tony could and kept the sorcerer from face planting onto the ground, and the rest of the Avengers helped the boys as Stephen used the last of his energy to open a portal back to the tower. Whoever wasn't helping Quill, Stephen, and the boys through to the tower had stayed behind to help with clean up and Stephen collapsed onto the couch with Sam's help. Bruce double checked the boys' well being just to be sure they would be fine before they were taken to their bedrooms, but William stayed in the living room with Stephen.

"Mom? Are you okay?" William asks.

"I'm fine. Shapeshifting into a dragon apparently saps a lot of energy from me." Stephen sighs out.

"You've never done it before?"

"No. I didn't know I could either. I just saw what that man did to you and your brothers and I lost it." Stephen explains.

He thanks William quietly when the teen retrieves a pillow and blanket for him and he lays down with a tired sigh. William lays the blanket over Stephen and the sorcerer falls asleep almost immediately. Tony taps his housing unit to retract his suit and he sits on a small part of the couch to rub his thumb across his spouse's cheek just as the elevator opens and Lucy could be heard crying. Athena and Valerie go over to Stephen and the little girl immediately crawls onto the couch to curl up with him, and Athena jumps up onto the last open area to join them.

Cassie had followed to give Lucy to Tony and she sighed when the infant almost instantly quieted in his arms. "Well...she knows what she wants." The teen sighs.

"Thanks for watching her Miss Sass." Tony says as Lucy grabs her father's finger and sticks it in her mouth.

"You're welcome."

"Where's Dia?"

"Waiting downstairs for me. We're going to watch tv now that Lucy isn't going to be with us." Cassie turns to look at William. "Want to join us?"

The boy shakes his head. "No thanks. I need a nap too."

She nodded and left to go back downstairs and William got his own blanket and pillow before laying on the other couch. While he dozed, he sometimes heard Tony doing something in the kitchen and talking to Lucy in Italian, and over time he heard the rest of the team join them. They kept their voices low as they talked about Stephen's sudden transformation, but then things started to get progressively louder as more of them came up to the penthouse and Harley and Peter woke. The two older teens sat on the third couch to watch tv and William eventually sat up when he was done dozing to watch tv with them.

"How are you three feeling?" Tony asks from the kitchen after letting Bucky take over cooking.

Things were a little harder when a baby was occupying an arm and the other wasn't as strong as it used to be. Sometimes Tony wondered how Stephen did it with Valerie and his hands.

"Fine." Both Harley and Peter respond and William nods.

"Urgh...stop…" Stephen mumbles and William looks over to find that Athena had crawled onto him to lick his face. Valerie very helpfully giggled while her mother tried to swat the wolf away.

"Mama tired?" She asks.

"Mmhmm…" he hums in response.

Valerie hugs Athena around her neck to stop her. "'thena, no!"

She then crawled off the couch and gently tugged Athena with her, and the wolf went a little reluctantly to sit with her while she played in her corner with her toys. Levi fluttered with excitement as it joined her and the three proceeded to have a tea party. The cloak did all the motions of drinking tea, but Athena just sat in place like she usually did. At least until Valerie got up to get Athena's special biscuits. Then the wolf was a more willing participant.

"Willy! Play?" Valerie asks and he smiles.

"Sure."

William slides off the couch and walks over to join her and Stephen cracks an eye open to watch them. He was happy to watch them and relax that way until Bucky announced that dinner was ready and then he finally sat up and yawned. William took Valerie into the kitchen for dinner while Levi cleaned up their tea party mess (yes, it was still weird for Stephen to see his cloak do such a mediocre task), and Athena went to her bowl. Steve fed her dinner and she ate gratefully next to Tibbs who was chowing down on his food like he hadn't eaten in weeks. All that was missing was--

Jingling reaches Stephen's ears as the elevator opens and Flynn darts out to run into the kitchen and stick his face in Athena's bowl. The wolf grumbles but shares her meal with him until Quill walks into the kitchen to add a little more meat to the bowl. It was a system now whenever everyone came up to the penthouse to eat. No one bothered to give Flynn his own bowl since he preferred to share with Athena and she never snapped at him, so they just added some extra meat.

"How are you feeling?" Tony asks Quill as he and Scott fill their plates and sit down.

"Little sore still but that'll be fine in the morning." He grunts out. "Don't recommend being thrown around like a ragdoll by the way."

"Where are Cassie and Diana?" Stephen asks after he walked into the kitchen and got a plate that Tony had filled for him.

"They'll be up in a little bit. Their movie is almost over." Scott answers.

Dinner passes in easy conversation and it also renews the sorcerer's energy so he felt marginally better halfway through his meal.

"Alright. I'll say it. Mom was a badass today." Sam suddenly announces.

Bucky nods. "Wish you had done that before."

"I didn't know I could." Stephen huffs.

"Well now you do." Natasha says. "Now we've got an immortal god and a mama dragon up our sleeves."

Stephen rolls his eyes. "Me doing that again will be for when we have no other options left. It drains me."

"Still an option." She shrugs.

"It was definitely hot." Tony grins. "Once I got over the shock."

"Well you're not getting any tonight. I'm too tired." Stephen mumbles.

"Nemmeno se--" Tony grunts when Stephen throws a plastic cup at his head. Thankfully it had been empty. "I'm just kidding Duchess."

[tigerkirby215]

5e Tahm Kench, the River King build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Pan Chengwei. Made for Riot Games.)

I guess I’ve still got demons on the mind after Halloween. Truth be told while I do hope to someday make a build for every champ I’m very hesitant to make builds for the “monsterous” champs. Cho’Gath, Kog’Maw, and Tahm Kench were all on that list for one reason and one reason alone: you can’t say “I puke on / eat / lick the enemy” without drawing a few strange glances. But the good folk over at Doran’s & Dragons did a Tahm Kench build and while I get where they were going for I’m personally not the biggest fan.

D’s&Ds tries to capture the flavor of the character much more than their abilities, which I can greatly appreciate. I think if you want a smooth-talking demon who swindles people out of everything, including their lives, than D’s&Ds’ build for Tahm is great. But I’m more interested in the mechanics of Tahm Kench: with literal thick skin to absorb incoming damage, a tongue that can leave our opponents stunned, and the ability to... vore your friends to keep them out of harm’s way.

No there aren’t vanilla rules for eating your friends alive! It’s all going to be reflavoring! See this is exactly why I didn’t want to do Tahm.

GOALS

I am enthralled by your class and refinement - Tahm Kench is a demon of greed, luring in unsuspecting hopefuls with promises of prosperity. We’ll need a tongue as sharp as a sword, and a sword as sharp as our tongue.

You have succeeded only in ruffling my attire! - To walk around looking like a Disney Caricature you need to have some thick skin. While other champs wear armor Tahm just has Thick Skin.

All the world's a river; and I'm its king - With a mouth that big you’ve gotta put it to good use, helping your allies across the river... regardless of if they want to go. (Well, most spells that target allies in D&D have to be willing...)

RACE

While I appreciate D’s&D and their take by making Tahm Kench a Locatha they were made for a Second Life charity module, which means they’re not officially endorsed at Adventurer’s League or other such gatherings. Also the friend who shares content with me on D&D Beyond doesn’t own Locatha Rising.

Also technically this build isn’t AL legal since it uses multiple sourcebooks (Mordenkainen's + others) so uhhhh...

Also this build is going to use a subclass that wasn’t available when D’s&D made their build.

With that being said Two-Coats is a demon so we’ll go for the demon race: Tiefling! More specifically we’ll get acquainted with the icy depths of the river as a Levistus Tiefling. Levistus Tieflings see their Charisma score increase by 2 and their Constitution increase by 1 for some protection thanks to the cold. Additionally you get some innate spells thanks to Legacy of Stygia, which I’ll cover when they come up.

All Tieflings have 60 feet of Darkvision, Hellish Resistance to Fire damage, and the ability to speak Common and Infernal. The only thing that changes with your Tiefling subrace is your ability scores and your innate spellcasting, and truly your brand of demon doesn’t matter much. "Call me king, call me demon - water forgets the names of the drowned."

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - For a truly delicious meal you need to soften them up a little first. Take it smooth and let them relax before going in for the kill.

14; CONSTITUTION - Kench is a chunky lad who can take quite a beating. It takes more than a blade to slay the king.

13; STRENGTH - You need quite the strong stomach to hold down tougher meals. “Needs salt!”

12; WISDOM - You need a bit of natural intuition to know how folk tick.

10; INTELLIGENCE - Live long enough and you learn quite a bit. At least enough to promise knowledge to anyone looking for it.

8; DEXTERITY - As said before the river king is a large demon of a man, who can take as much time as he wants to get a meal.

BACKGROUND

No surprises here: Tahm Kench is a Charlatan, swindling folk all across Runeterra out of everything they once owned... including their lives.

Well, maybe a few surprises. You will still be taking Deception but instead of Slight of Hand take Persuasion proficiency, because you’re more of a smooth talker than a con artist. I’m also going to suggest taking two Languages instead of two Tools: take whatever language you think you may need, but to talk your way to your next meal they’ll have to be able to understand you.

Regardless you can’t have them knowing your a demon, so take a False Identity as the king. Most folk think you’re a kind soul, with plenty to back you up. And you can always get any papers they may desire.

(Artwork by Alex “alexplank” Flores. Made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - FIGHTER 1

Starting off as a Fighter because funny Constitution saving throws, among other things. "My constitution is unflappable!" Regardless you get proficiency in two skills from the Fighter list so take Insight and Athletics to know who’s ready to be carried down river.

You also get a Fighting Style of your choice and while I’d love to get a Reach weapon or indeed any two-handed weapon one of Tahm Kench’s best assets is the Protection he can provide his allies. For this you’ll need a shield (and you can take a regular Strength weapon along side it) but if an attack is coming their way you can grab them in your maw to give the attack disadvantage... Or you could not vore your allies, and take the Defense Fighting Style instead to get more AC.

Well at least if anyone gets mad at all the vore comments you can tank it with your Thick Skin and regenerate it with Second Wind. (The Fighter ability, not the rune in the Resolve tree.) And to fight back with a lashing of your tongue Ray of Frost from Legacy of Stygia will do some damage at range and slow down your foes. It’s not a stun yet... not yet.

LEVEL 2 - BARD 1

What? Did you think we wouldn’t have some tricks of the charmer’s trade? As a Bard you get one proficiency in any skill and one instrument proficiency. Choose Intimidation because my what big teeth you have! (But truthfully take whatever proficiency works for your party, as Tahm Kench can be whatever you want him to be.) As for instrument I’m going to have to go for Lute: it’s the closest you’ll get to a tongue guitar, and don’t you dare say “tongue guitar” at your D&D table.

Regardless Bards get Bardic Inspiration at first level, to make sure you fulfill the support role through the use of honeyed words and sweet nothings. You get a pool of d6s that you can give to an ally to add to their attack rolls, skill checks, or saving throws. You can give a d6 as an action and have a number of them equal to your proficiency bonus, and regain them all at the end of a long rest.

But wait! There’s more! You also get Spellcasting as a Bard: you get two cantrips from the Bard list. A man of fine tastes needs to keep his outfit in check, so take Mending to do that. Vicious Mockery meanwhile will let you use that trademark Tahm Kench sharp tongue (not the literal sharp tongue) to taunt your foes and make it harder for them to hurt your allies. "The baseness of your appetite repulses me!"

As for leveled spells you can pick four of them at first level: naturally you’ll need Charm Person to tempt mortals with pleasing bargains. To worry them that you’re coming to collect Dissonant Whispers will fill their minds with unease. To open up your foes for your friends to take them down Bane will loosen their resolve. And to make sure everyone laughs at your jokes? Tasha’s Hideous Laughter.

LEVEL 3 - BARD 2

Second level Bards are Jack of All Trades, letting you add half your proficiency bonus to any skill you’re not proficient in. Tahm Kench is a demon, and he needs to be able to help wherever he can to tempt others to ask him for help.

Speaking of help you also get Song of Rest to give allies an extra d6 of healing during short rests. Since I doubt Tahm Kench is much of a singer, consider this more of him telling stories of grandeur that only the king of river would know. Or perhaps you’re cooking everyone some food? Who knows.

And finally you can learn another spell, but I’m actually going to wait for next level since we’ve gotten all the first level spells we really need already. But you do get Armor of Agathys thanks to Legacy of Stygia, for some Thornmail to boost your defenses.

LEVEL 4 - BARD 3

Third level Bards get Expertise in two skills to double your proficiency bonus: naturally we’ll go for Deception and Persuasion to have little trouble striking up a bargain.

But much more importantly you get to choose your Bardic College, and I think it’s safe to say that Tahm Kench is a self-taught master of the College of Eloquence. Eloquence Bards have a Silver Tongue, making any roll below a 10 on a Persuasion or a Deception role default to a 10. Notice how we just gave ourselves Expertise on those checks? This means that the lowest you can get on one of these checks is a 17, which for most folk is an automatic success! "How delectable!"

Additionally, your works make it harder to resist the effects of magic. Unsettling Words lets you spend a Bonus Action to roll Bardic Inspiration on an enemy. The next saving throw they make they have to subtract the number you rolled on the Inspiration die. This has synergy with both yourself and your friends. Honey your words before charming folk to hear you, or soften up a foe for some crazy mage to take them down.

Speaking of crazy mage: more spells! The great part about a character like Tahm Kench is that I am completely justified taking utility / roleplay spells like Gift of Gab, letting you backtrack in case you say something silly during a conversation. (With a small royalty fee to the good folk over at Acquisitions Incorporated, of course.) But if you want something more immediately useful then Hold Person will let you stun foes with your words, keeping them in place for allies to cut them down.

LEVEL 5 - BARD 4

Fourth level Bards get an Ability Score Improvement but I’m going to suggest something a little different. Old Yawn-Belly is a demon with a hunger for fine clothes so there shouldn’t be much issue taking the Eldritch Adept Unearthed Arcana feat, soon to be in Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything! With a Mask of Many Faces you can cast Disguise Self at will. This will let you wear a fine jacket while still being in heavy armor. "How did I leave my jacket pocket unadorned for so long?"

I really like unlimited Disguise Self for Tahm Kench for a number of reasons. It’s said that he can take whatever form he desires to lure in his victims, which makes sense given the nature of his character. Unlimited Disguise Self also obviously has use for a charmer, letting you get away with a lot more discussion than normal. But the most important thing is that while Tahm Kench doesn’t wear anything heavy in-game he’s far from stealthy. But disguising your armor doesn’t make it any quieter, which is unironically perfect for our affairs.

Regardless you can learn another spell at this level, along with another cantrip. For your cantrip Prestidigitation is great for life’s simple pleasures, recreating simple things like heating food, chilling drinks, or making things taste like whatever you desire.

For leveled spells may I make a suggestion of the Suggestion spell? It’ll let you make simple suggestions for things that folks should do, and they’ll be inclined to do it. They won’t do anything dangerous like stand in the jaws of a demon, but asking them to walk alone down river is a pretty harmless ask. Oh and to top it off a Tiefling gets Darkness at 5th level, thanks to Legacy of Stygia.

(Artwork by robynlauart on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 6 - BARD 5

5th level Bards get Font of Inspiration to recover their Bardic Inspiration at the end of a Short Rest, which is good because your Bardic Inspiration also increases to a d8.

Additionally you can learn third level spells like Sending to check up on some old deals. If you can’t tell it’s really hard to translate Bard spells onto Tahm Kench, but we kinda need a few more levels in this class.

LEVEL 7 - BARD 6

6th level Eloquence Bards get Unfailing Inspiration. If an ally uses your Bardic Inspiration but still don’t succeed on their roll, they get to keep the die. Simple! You also get Universal Speech, allowing you to choose a number of creatures equal to your Charisma modifier to understand anything you may say. There’s no reason you can’t strike a deal with the local wildlife. And finally you get Countercharm for some Tenacity against Charms and Frightening effects, or you could not do that.

Unfortunately you can’t understand them when you use Universal Speech, but that’s where the spell Tongues comes in. Along with ha ha Tahm Kench Tongue you can make sure anyone understand what you or an ally might be saying. Keep Universal Speech for the simpletons of the world. "You're strong like bull, and smart like cow."

LEVEL 8 - BARD 7

7th level Bards finally get 4th level spells, and as we know "It is my mouth into which all travels end." Take Dimension Door to grab a friend (in your mouth... or not) and go far and wide.

LEVEL 9 - BARD 8

8th level Bards get an Ability Score Improvement and seeing as our last ASI went to getting a top hat we may as well increase that uneven Strength and Charisma.

You can also learn another spell and there are quite a few nice ones at 4th level. Confusion and Compulsion will let your words do the fighting for you, and Locate Creature will help you find anyone looking for a bargain. Or of course you could take your own spell, since these builds are only suggestions after all.

(Artwork by MirthSpindle on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 10 - FIGHTER 2

Now that we can get people to sign a contract it’s time to take what’s rightfully ours. But firstly Fighters get Action Surge at second level to take two actions on a turn. Perhaps a Hail of Blades, or maybe a mix of words to sully the mind?

LEVEL 11 - FIGHTER 3

Third level Fighters can choose their Martial Archetype and to master your tongue in more ways than one (not like that you perv) look no further than the Battle Master Fighter. You get d8 Combat Superiority Die that can fuel a variety of manuevers:

To stun a foe with your lashing tongue take Trip Attack, for a little more than just stopping them in their tracks.

To grab an ally in your mouth (or preferably not doing that) Maneuvering Attack will let you get them to move somewhere safe without being in danger of getting attacked themselves.

And to play the tank role of the party Goading Attack will taunt your enemies so that they can only concentrate on you. You can take it: you have Thick Skin!

But of course most importantly you are a Student of War, granting proficiency in an Artisan’s Tool of your choice. If you’re going to write contracts you’re going to need good penmanship, so grab proficiency in Calligrapher’s Supplies as the pen is mightier than the sword and Tulok the Barbrarian memes shall live on eternally.

LEVEL 12 - FIGHTER 4

4th level means more Ability Score Improvements and... you know? I don’t think we’re nearly tanky enough! Infernal Constitution is a feat exclusive to Tieflings that grants resistance to Cold and Poison damage, as well as the poisoned condition. And it increases your Constitution by 1 as well. "My visage was already flawless, now it just has more vigor."

LEVEL 13 - FIGHTER 5

5th level Fighters get an Extra Attack for two attacks instead of one, or four with Action Surge! Quick and easy!

(Artwork by benlo on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 14 - FIGHTER 6

Hey more Ability Score Improvements! You know despite intending to swing a sword around your Strength is rather subpar, so perhaps increase that. (This also finally lets you put on Platemail.)

LEVEL 15 - FIGHTER 7

A friend is an enemy who hasn’t shown their true self yet, so you can know your friends with Know Your Enemy. By spending a minute studying someone you can learn if they’re worth bargaining with. You can learn their Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Armor, Hit Points, Level, and Fighter level. Most NPCs don’t have class levels, but knowing how hard you need to hit them could help the whole party.

You also get two more Maneuvers: Evasive Footwork will let you dash off to safety, and while disarming isn’t common in Runeterra Disarming Strike seems quite in flavor for someone as... dexterous as yourself.

LEVEL 16 - FIGHTER 8

Isn’t Fighter fun when you increase your abilities every other level? Your Strength is still kinda godawful so good for that if you’d please.

LEVEL 17 - FIGHTER 9

9th level Fighters get Indomitable. If you fail a saving throw you can reroll it. You only get one of these per Long Rest so use it on a save you’re likely to succeed on like Strength, Constitution, Charisma, or... well yeah basically those three.

(Artwork by davicomodo on DeviantArt. They deactivated their account though: sad.)

LEVEL 18 - FIGHTER 10

10th level Fighters get Improved Combat Superiority. Now your d8s are d10s!

You know what else that means? More Maneuvers! To absorb even more damage Parry will give you some Bone Plating for absorption. If however by this point an ally of yours can do a lot more damage with their weapon then Commander’s Strike will let you set them up for the Pentakill!

LEVEL 19 - FIGHTER 11

11th level Fighters get another Extra Attack for 3 attacks per round. That’s enough for your three-hit passive!

LEVEL 20 - FIGHTER 12

12th level Fighters get our final Ability Score Improvement: for stronger charms and more smooth-talking to both ally and foe, take Charisma. For a different type of stronger tongue with deadlier maneuvers grab Strength instead. And if you just want to be a chunky tanky conman then Constitution is also an option!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Every heart has its own hunger - Despite not maxing out your Charisma you’re still the king of speech. +16 in Deception and Persuasion with your lowest possible roll being a 10. That means the lowest you can get on these rolls is a 26! Not to mention that Jack of All Trades as a Bard makes you plenty good at any skill the party may need help with, and unlimited Disguise Self letting you take whatever role is needed.

Every river ends in me! - You are also a very good team player. Bardic Inspiration that never fails, tons of different ways to hold the enemy down, and several options to help your friends while they’re in a jam. "Travel awaits."

You have succeeded only in ruffling my attire! - Wow who would’ve guessed that building a tanky character to be a tank would make them tanky? You should have quite the solid healthbar and resistances to three very common damage types is nothing to scoff at, not to mention that you can wear Heavy Armor and a Shield for crazy high AC.

CONS

Are you the waiter of this establishment? - Most of your abilities rely on charges of some kind. While Maneuvers and Bardic Inspiration comes back on a Short Rest spell slots only come back after a Long one, and you don’t have many spell slots to spare.

I wonder who might like to bargain for a little freedom - This build is very ASI greedy which means a lot of your abilities are very subpar. Your low DEX score in particular is rather harsh as many dangerous spells require DEX saving throws.

Might be savory - Because this build is so ASI greedy your stats still aren’t maxed out. +3 to CON and +4 to CHA are great and all but they aren’t +5, ya know? And even with Jack of All Trades your skill checks aren’t going to beat out a specialist.

But you don’t need to be a god to sign a deal; a demon does it just as well. Master your articulation so that you can be sharp with your tongue in whatever means necessary. Bargain with your allies and seal the deal on your foes, and for the love of all that is good in the world don’t vore anyone! Jeeze!

(Artwork by Pan Chengwei. Made for Riot Games.)

[unlockthelore]

If We Have Eachother

For all of the difference between Yukina and Hiei, there were just as many similarities. Kurama tucked his hands in his pockets as he walked the ragged stone path, eyeing the flowers and shrubbery preening with his passing, tree limbs bowing and weeds shifting out of his path with begrudging acceptance. Nature was where Kurama was at his strongest and it was also where the twins sought their comfort. It was flattering to say the least. Here, it was impossible to hide from him. Flowers whispered their secrets and trees heard everything, and they were all too willing to tell Kurama what went on. Climbing the steps leading to an old willow tree withered and struck by lightning yet still standing with a scorch mark on its bark to tell the story. And at the base of the tree, sitting with her legs tucked under her and birds perched on her shoulders and fingertips is Yukina.

The air is chilled around her and the foliage seems to be keen on leaning toward Kurama’s warmth rather than Yukina’s chill. The birds, while undeterred, quivered and shook their feathers when the temperature dropped. Kurama’s eyes softened as he watched her stroke the birds’ feathers lightly and coo to them softly to ease their shaking. Yukina was a gentle soul but even gentle ones could be pushed. Remembering Hiei’s words, he wondered what took place between her and Kuwabara that pushed them so far apart. Although he could imagine.

Kurama walked closer to her and Yukina sighed, the birds taking flight as she lowered her hands to her lap and looked away from him. It would do either of them no good for him to tower over her so Kurama pressed his back against the tree and rested his legs. He’d likely need them should the conversation go awry.

Yukina remained quiet and Kurama was content to wait. Like Hiei, forcing her to talk would do nothing but unlike the fire demon, Yukina’s anger was cold.

“Hiei sent you, didn’t he?” She asks, her tone curt and clipped, brokering no room for joking.

Kurama nods slowly. It didn’t take long for him to find her. Hiei’s assumption of where she was made it easy enough. “You know how he worries.”

Yukina sighed and Kurama could practically see the gears turning in her mind. Even if she found it in herself to be angry with Hiei, he doubted it would last long. Though their fights were fierce, their desire to be close to one another was even stronger. Yukina’s shoulders fell and despite her not looking at him, Kurama could imagine the crescent fallen look she wore.

“I’m fine.”

“I know you are.”

Many in their group had the terrible habit of treating Yukina like a doll. Even Hiei was guilty of worrying and fussing over her too much. Kurama understood their reasoning, especially Hiei’s, but it was unnecessary. Yukina was strong enough on her own. The proof being that despite their being demons and likely “bad” humans lingering about in the early hours of the morning, Yukina had no fear of walking on her own or seeking solitude. Leaning away from the tree, Kurama sank down to the grass beside her, giving a bit of distance for her comfort.

“If there’s anything you wish to speak of, I’m here.”

Yukina sighed and brought her knees to her chest. Her quiet lingered and the sounds of nature filled the silence. The birds kept their distance but lingered upon one of the tree’s branches, watchful eyes taking in Kurama and Yukina. Kurama closed his eyes and rested his hands in his lap, content to watch the clouds and the lightening sky as she gathered herself.

“For so long, I felt like my choices were being made for me.” Yukina began and Kurama glanced towards her. “Like I had no right to be my own person anymore.”

Kurama’s lips twitched and he barely suppressed a frown. He recalled how she was after her departure from Tarukane’s. Although she was quieter, there was a ferocity that lingered beneath the skin. Even when she was being told to return to Hyouga and Hiei’s insistence that she do so, she looked poised to argue but after so long having her wishes disregarded, the spark fizzled out as quickly as it came to life.

“And then you all saved me and I was grateful for Kazuma’s words but…” Yukina squeezed her hands close to her stomach and her lips trembled. Sucking her teeth, her fingers curled into fists and she shoved them trembling into her lap. “This idea that he has of the red string of fate, it’s wonderful and I know it’s true to some degree, and he feels his emotions are but it makes no sense to me.”

Kurama winced. He had to admit that he might have been guilty of that. Kuwabara felt strongly for her and the team always teased but no one ever asked Yukina how she felt about the situation.

“I want the freedom to be able to choose.” Yukina’s voice was quieter as she looked down at her hands but the firmness remained. She wasn’t budging on this at all. “And in the end, if Kazuma is who I want to be with then it’ll happen.”

Kurama nodded slowly. “What you choose is what matters most,” he began once he was certain she was finished. “I know Kuwabara cares for you, and he feels what he does strongly, but that doesn’t make your feelings less valid. Do not push your happiness down deep to make others happy.”

Yukina sighed and eased her hands open. Pink crescent moons were pressed into the palm of her hands and Kurama’s heart ached at the sight. It was easy to forget that Yukina held so much pain with how kind and quiet she appeared to be. But Kurama heard her arguments with Hiei. The sharp words she’d use and the bluntness, dismissiveness and anger that lingered beneath it. How long had she endured them needling and teasing? Why didn’t shy asked her what she thought about it?

“Kazuma thinks he needs to provide for me, take care of me, but I don’t want that.” Yukina ran her fingers through her hair and undid her ponytail, yanking her hair ribbon until it loosened and her hair fell in waves over her shoulder. “Not in the way that he feels he has to. I’m not something to be put on a shelf or someone shoved in the back of a home to just cook and clean.”

Kurama winced. He knew that in some parts of the Ningnekai, views on equality could be fairly primitive. The Makai was far more equal in terms of rights and beliefs although the individuals were far more cutthroat. It was one of the things he preferred. And seeing as Yukina was originally from the Makai, it was likely what she was used to.

“I want to do those things with him,” Yukina stressed as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Being the one stuck waiting is maddening.. I want to go out and do things for myself.”

Kurama sighed. Kuwabara could be dense at times but he was understanding once things were explained to him. From what Hiei told him, the two of them had a talk but he wasn’t sure if Yukina explained things to Kuwabara in the same way. She was certainly getting her point across to him at the very least.

“Have you tried to tell him this in the way you’re telling me?”

Yukina glanced at him through the veil of her hair and a sad little smile formed, her eyes lowering. “I did.. .even if it hurt his feelings, he deserved to know the truth.”

That would explain the situation at hand. Offering her a smile, Kurama nodded. “He did. You’re just as much my friend as he is, Yukina, and you deserve to choose the life you want for yourself.”

Yukina’s eyes widened and she seemed surprise. Kurama felt as if the air was being punched from him. Had they really been holding her back that much? Or had no one told her that before.

“Was it easy for you to choose? When you and my brother met?”

Kurama’s eyebrow raised. Easy? He chuckled warmly and shook his head. “Hardly. Both Hiei and I were very stubborn and it took some time to come to terms with what we wanted.”

“…Then how did you..” Yukina’s voice trailed off as she tried to find the words. “Know, I suppose?”

Kurama sighed and tilted his head back, smiling fondly as he stared up at the sky. “I suppose I just knew. I had fallen in love with a man that tried tok ill me and I knew it was foolish, but being with him felt comforting.”

In the same manner that sitting near a fire when the dark surrounded you was comforting. It was present, it was stable, it was warm, and it was attracting. Kurama always had a fascination for shiny things and fire was as bright as they came. To be drawn to Hiei in the same manner was funny.

“You fell in love with my brother after he tried to kill you,” Yukina said slowly, and the tinge of amusement in her voice made Kurama almost blush. “Tell me?”

Kurama looked back to her and she seemed entranced in the story. Denying her would be difficult especially when she had those eyes. He had a hard time denying Hiei at times, it wasn’t any easier when Yukina had the sweet curiosity and innocence in her eyes. Retelling the story of how Hiei had come to the Ningenkai and why, the reason for his attacking Kurama and the hours he’d been unconscious and Kurama cared for him. Warmth and joy filled his chest along with longing to see the fire demon but once he’d finished, Kurama shrugged.

“The longer we were together, the more at home I felt. I suppose I began to accept my feelings when I realized being apart from him left me feeling lonely.”

Remembering Hiei turning his back and the half-assed excuse that he gave. The way that he walked away and the looming feeling that he might not see him again and if he did, it would be as an enemy.

“Being apart from him.. You mean, when he was looking for me and when he left to the Makai once his probation was over?” Yukina asked, a soft frown on her lips as she leant forward and rested her chin on her knees.

Kurama nodded. “I had grown very fond of him being there, and we knew our feelings, but I never accepted the full length of it. I suppose I always believed it would be something that would last until we grew apart.” Love wasn’t something that lasted for him and he assumed it would be the same. That the spark he held for Hiei would burn out when they were apart. But it grew into an inferno and nearly consumed him. “When he was gone, I was miserable. I told myself I would be fine without him, but not knowing if he would return tore me apart.”

Or if he would be the same.

Yukina took in his words with a surprising amount of thoughtfulness. A crease in her brow as she stared into the distance and the sounds of nature filled the silence. Each of them lost to their thoughts before she broke the silence.

“Mukuro told me that Hiei came to her with a death wish. He was tired and looking for a place to die. I always wondered why he didn’t side with you or Yusuke. Why didn’t he talk to me or Genkai or anyone else. So I thought maybe he joined Mukuro’s side instead of Yomi’s, knowing he’d have to fight and Yusuke to keep you at a distance. Make you think he didn’t care … to make it easier if he..”

Her words trailed off and Kurama looked down. He had suspected something similar even if Hiei hadn’t told him himself. There was something different in Hiei the days following Sensui’s defeat. Being so close to the darkness, Kurama wondered what he felt and what he saw not only in himself but in the world around him. Did he lose his reason for living? When he decided to die for Yusuke, was that only out of friendship or also the desire for a fitting end?

The thought gave him chills.

“I think I knew, in a sense. We were still connected at times, but others, he was cold and distant. I craved his warmth more than anything, and found myself wishing that things could return to the way they were.” He wasn’t someone that wished or prayed for much but he certainly had done so when it came to Hiei. He didn’t want to lose him, and he very nearly had. “In the end, I told myself if he went through with disappearing that I would follow behind him, no matter where that took me.”

Yukina looked at him and tilted her head. “Why?”

It felt much easier to admit now. “Because I loved him, and a life without him wasn’t one worth continuing.”

Perhaps out of respect for him or shock of what he said, Yukina remained silent. But slowly her gaze drifted to her feet and she shook her head.

“I don’t think that’s what Hiei would have wanted…”

“It was what I wanted.”

Yukina nods at that and when Kurama looks at her, she’s smiling. “Making our own choices,” she says, glancing his way.

Kurama nodded. “You can try as much as you would like to make others happy, but you cannot sacrifice your own happiness for that. The opinions of others can matter, but you are the only one that knows what you truly want at the end of the day.”

In the end, Yukina was the only one who could understand what she wanted and Kuwabara would respect her decision even if it hurt him in the end. Kurama had chosen to lay his heart in Hiei’s hands and Hiei had taken his hand and given his heart in kind.

“I want my freedom, and you want a future with my brother and my happiness.”

Kurama stiffened up. Just where was she going with this?

“Well, as his only immediate family left, I’m alright with you marrying my brother.” She gestures to Kurama’s hand and he glances down at the ring. “He made it, right? That explains why Touya was so down at the party.”

Kurama chuckled softly. Leave it to Yukina to be so observant. Sometimes he would wear it on a chain, but he often found it most comfortable on his hand. Kurama nodded. “He did.” The conversation he overhead between Hiei and Touya still replayed in his mind on occasion. He’d known of the Ice Master’s feelings toward him but denied his advances time and time again. “Touya is a kind man but unfortunately, he was far too late.”

“A few years too late?” Yukina teases, her eyes bright as she smiled cheerfully.

Kurama chuckled at her teasing and looked back to her. “A few years too late,” he agreed.

“I wondered what my brother said to him…” Yukina muses thoughtfully.

Kurama hid his knowing smile as he remembered what happened after Hiei’s conversation with Touya. He kept the fire demon occupied, showing him just how much he liked what he said with everything he had. Admittedly, he might have kept him longer than he should have but after what he heard, it was necessary. “You know how Hiei can be.”

Yukina hummed softly with a half-hearted shrug. “Then.. I suppose this means I get to call you brother without it being odd.”

Kurama’s thoughts came to a screeching halt. And he was certain surprise was evident on his face as he looked to her, feeling fondness as she looked down at her hands and poked her fingers together.

“Is that something you would like to do?” He asked, smiling at her.

Yukina wouldn’t meet his eyes and he resisted the urge to hug her close to his side, giving her the space to talk. “It felt strange calling you Kurama sometimes. You’ve always.. Been like my brother.” She looks at everything but him and Kurama presses his fingers to the grass between them.

“Protecting me, talking to me when I need it most, and making me laugh.”

With every word, Kurama felt his heart melting. From the moment Hiei told him of Yukina and his mission not find her, he felt protective over her. Finding her had only deepens the feelings though he kept his feelings hidden beneath the surface. He would always be there for her when she needed him and he would always offer help if Hiei made a point to bring it to his attention should he not have noticed it first. She was a part of his family just as much as Hiei was.

Letting a jolt of his youki surge through the grass, flowers blossomed and bloomed between the two of them. His smile remaining as he eased is hand back.

“You have always been a member of family, Yukina. I would be honored to have you call me your brother.”

Yukina glanced down at the flowers before turning and settling on her knees, watching them as they bloomed. Her eyes wide and cheeks flushed, smile bright and lighting up her face. The chill in the air waned and the warmth returned as she traced her fingers over the petals, letting them sit against her fingertips. Crimson eyes met green and Yukina giggled, Kurama couldn’t help but smile as well.

“Alright then, big brother.”

His smile faltered, heart skipping a beat. He had been an only child until Shuuichi had come along and to think that he had a younger sister that was right by his side.

“I’ll think about what to do with Kazuam. I can only imagine what Hiei’s doing to him right now.”

“I’m sure Hiei is handling things to the best of his ability. Just make sure any decision you make is right for you.”

In the end, he wanted them both to be happy and if it was best for them to be happy and not together in that sense then so be it.

“Do you mind walking home with me?”

Kurama shook his head, pushing to his feet then holding his hand out to her. “I don’t mind at all,” he said, unable to stop smiling when she looked at him.

Yukina took his hand and slowly stood, brushing off her shorts. Looking up at him, there was a flicker of hesitation and a number of emotions that crossed her features before she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Kurama tightly. He stiffened up and hesitated, eyes widening and heart stilling. Everything froze as he glanced down at her head and as she squeezed him, he sighed and wrapped his arms around her.

“Thank you…”

Kurama smiled softly, patting her head. “Anytime you need anything or someone to talk to, I’ll be there for you.”

[deck16]

Good Bad Ugly - Pillars of Eternity

I’m writing this to get some closure. This game has set up an embargo in my brain, and I need to write this to put it behind me so I can move on.

Pillars of Eternity is a spiritual successor to the Baldur’s Gate games of the 1990’s.

I have a love-hate relationship with the game. It seems the world at large doesn’t, with a score of 89 on Metacritic. Read on for what I think…

I didn’t get too far into the game. Made it to Defiance Bay, and did a number of quests there. Is that far enough to get a good idea of the game? I think so.

One nifty feature is the ability to add your own character art. I stole mine from Deviant Art. Before you click the link... can you guess which one is mine (as opposed to the rest, which are in-game characters)?

The Good

Spot-On Spiritual Successor. It is a good remake of the Baldur’s Gate games. It updates the look and feel but keeps the spirit alive.

Engaging Characters. I liked most of the party members. Some were endearing enough that I wanted to keep them around. Some had story things going on that I really wanted to uncover. I truly did enjoy talking to them, following their stories, and listening to their voice acting. (Except Durance. He seemed like the person from D&D who plays “Chaotic Neutral”. You can stay on the crossroads, Durance, and find yourself some other party.)

Pretty and Polished. It’s technically limited but I don’t hold that against a game born of Kickstarter. The environments are pretty and the user interface is pleasant. The combat goes above and beyond with some pretty effects.

Difficulty Options. Lots of options to fiddle with difficulty. Want to have hard combat but no restrictions on accessing your global inventory stash? You can do that.

Pew, pew! Many of the spells have pyrotechnic flair.

The Bad

Normally, with these, I use dot-points to keep myself on-track and terse. Forgive me, I’m departing from that for the first point.

Real-Time With Pause

Real-time with pause is a means of controlling your characters where everything happens simultaneously (like it does in reality) but you can pause at any time to plan and action things carefully. This is opposed to turn-based where characters take turns, either individually or as a group. Pillars only supports real-time with pause.

Which is better? It’s a matter of taste, of course, and it’s controversial.

As for me? I hate real-time with pause.

Actually, let me walk that back a little. I hate it unless the game gives you a flexible AI system for “programming” your characters. Like Dragon Age did (to my approval).

Pillars sort-of has AI options. But they’re rubbish. Choose your poison: turn it on and correct the dumb things it does, or turn it off and do every little thing yourself.

But that’s not fair, is it, saying I have to “do every little thing” myself? After all, isn’t that literally what happens in a turn-based game? So it’s not as simple as that. For some reason I get pissed off when the fighter doesn’t take two steps to the left to attack an enemy really close to him in Pillars, but I don’t get angry when I have to do much the same in Divinity: Original Sin.

I think it has something to do with irritation and interruption. I can’t concentrate on one thing in a real-time with pause game. I have to constantly be watching. Is the fighter close enough? Has the archer stopped firing because she killed her last target? Is the wizard about to be attacked in melee? If so: pause, fix, resume.

In a turn-based game my concentration is on one thing at a time. Sure, I have a grander strategy in my head. But when I’m creeping my rogue up for a sneaky flanking attack I don’t have to keep an eye on whether the fighter needs a healing potion or the chanter has charged up enough song-power to cast a decent spell. That can wait.

I found myself dreading combat in Pillars. That’s not a good sign. Contrast with the Divinity: Original Sin Games, where I loved to lose because it meant I could re-try the same combat again.

The old “bottleneck-in-the-door” trick eh? Tried and true.

And now back to bullet-points for the other Bad things:

Obscure Rules System. Obviously they couldn’t pinch D&D’s RPG system, so they cooked up their own. I only vaguely understood it. Is (for example) “Accuracy (+10) vs. Reflex” is good or mediocre? No idea. I’m picking equipment and character level-up perks based on loose guesses. Now this might be mostly because real-time with pause smears combat into an unintelligible soup. Maybe I would’ve gotten a better sense of things if I could see things happen action-by-action?

A Load of Lackluster Lore. The game’s lore is cliché, it’s boring, and it’s waved in your face. It’s not bad, but it doesn’t rise above mediocre.

The Ugly

There’s only one Ugly thing, but it’s a big one!

Bad Backer Bunkum

Pillars was a Kickstarter game, and so they added extra pledge tiers to entice bigger donations. That’s fair enough in and of itself. But they took it too far.

Pledge US$ 1,000 or more: NAME AND DESIGN AN NPC (Non-Player Character). Help us design PROJECT ETERNITY! We will send you a PROJECT ETERNITY NPC character sheet for you to fill out for our design team. We will turn your personalized character design, with your name, class, and race into an NPC in the shipped game (within reason of course)

I don’t care about the price levels. Caveat emptor. What I care about is seeing masturbatory fan-fiction spread across the game world! It was everywhere.

The gravestones and memorials, carved with idiot memes and smug in-jokes, I could at least ignore.

The backer NPCs were harder to ignore. They looked like rejects from an anime game, standing on street corners and crowding out the locals at the village tavern.

If I accidentally clicked on one – thinking it might be an actually-important NPC – I was presented with a bit of donor-supplied fan-fiction.

I know I didn’t have to read them… but how could I look away? Even after being cleaned up by Obsidian for spelling, grammar, and continuity sins they are awful, edgy, Mary Sue yarns. There’s a drinking game in these.

(Though sometimes I was surprised. I remember enjoying a wholesome one about a character buying an old tavern and getting to work on renovations while dreaming of running a new business.)

Conclusion

Right at the start I mentioned I was partially writing this so I can leave this game unfinished. It’s not an awful game. I wanted to play through it just to enrich playing its (reportedly better) sequel. But I can’t bare to baby-sit my brain-dead party through a hundred more combats. Nor would I want to turn on Story Mode and play a game like this just for its mixed-quality story.

I’ve got a few turn-based palette-cleansers in mind. Here’s hoping they’re good.

Pillars of Eternity II, patched to include turn-based mode

Pathfinder Kingmaker, with this mod which apparently works well

Battletech

As for Pillars of Eternity itself?

Rated Ordinary ★★☆☆

An otherwise-decent game ruined (in my humble opinion) by real-time with pause combat coupled with poor party-member AI. If you are tolerant of real-time with pause, you might fare a lot better.

[angels17324]

The Violet Paladin (Keith x Reader) Ch. 5

Word Count: 2111 Update Schedule: Every Monday [Masterlist] [Prev]

It was cold, which I thought was kinda strange, I remember covering up before going to bed maybe I kicked the sheets off. I looked around to see that I was inside my lion's cargo bay. I stood up and looked around. Everything seemed normal, but how did I end up in my lion. I started to walk towards the head, just as I was about to enter...

I sat up in my bed, "That was so weird..." I muttered. Figuring I probably wasn't going back to sleep I decided to put on my paladin armor since I knew we were training as soon as everyone else got up. I grabbed my sketching supplies and walked out of my room, It seemed the halls were still dark, so it was really early. I turn on the flashlight on my suit and walked to my lion's hanger. I spent about two hours drawing my lion and these attachments on her. After I joined the others for breakfast before we headed out to train.

"Great job today guys!" Shiro commended us "We're really getting the hang of Voltron!"

"Seriously, how far do you think my lion kicked that broken alien ship?" Lance bragged.

"Yeah, that will totally come in handy when the Galra challenges Voltron to a soccer match," Keith glared at him

"You just can't handle my awesomeness," Lance chuckled.

"You knocked us off balance Lance. We fell," I told him.

"That was Hunks fault!" He blamed.

"Hey!"

"How about the four of you save your energy for fighting Zarkon," Shiro stopped us as he went to sit down.

"Hello everyone! How was the Voltron work out?" Coran walked in with a covered dish.

"We're getting there. Are you and Allura almost done fixing the castle so we can leave? I feel like we're sitting ducks still being on Arus," Shiro said worriedly.

"Just about. But in the meantime to get your minds off of that, I made you guys an authentic ancient paladin lunch," Everyone perked up for a moment but it was short lived as Coran revealed the lunch. Everyone groaned and looked disgusted by the green... could you even call it food?

"Coran, you just got me hooked on that goo and now you're switching it up?" Hunk looked at him.

"This is packed full of nutrients," He defended.

"Oh, it smells disgusting!" Hunk pointed out.

"I know!" He exclaimed happily, "That's how you know it's healthy,"

"I'll pass," I said looking at it, I slowly backed away from Coran.

"Coran, we're on a planet with fresh herbs, spices and whatever this thing is." Hunk held up a small plant. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna head to the kitchen and spice things up." Hunk ran off to cook something.

"Where's Pidge?" Shiro looked around.

"He's probably checking on those prisoners we rescued." Coran ate the paladin lunch he made. "They'll be walking soon in the infirmary." He held the fork out to Shiro, "Open the hatch. Food lion coming in." He tried to feed Shiro like a baby.

"No. Just... No." He slowly edged around Coran, to get away from him before leaving the room.

"You don't know what you're missing!" Coran told him.

Sometime later Hunk came back with his food and at this point, I was starving and willing to eat anything other than the thing Coran made. On top of that, it looked way better than the other option, the boys and I started to eat the new lunch happily.

I somewhat zoned out as I continued to eat before an alarm started blaring. Allura pulled up a screen which showed a small creature running around.

"What is that?" Keith asked.

"I don't know what it is. Maybe it's a local Arusian?" Allura watched the screen "It's approaching the castle"

"It's kinda cute," I smiled.

"Aw," Hunk cooed

"Doesn't look too dangerous," Lance chuckled.

"You never know," Keith warned activating his Bayard.

"No. Alteans believe in peace first. Let us go welcome them," Allura walked out the rest of us following her.

"That's adorable," Hunk cooed.

"Hey, maybe we can knit him a little sweater," Lance said excitedly.

"I'm not taking any chances," Keith followed after the boys, I giggled at that before running after the boys. The large doors opened and watched as the small creature jump into the nearest bushes.

"Greetings! We know you're there," Allura walked over. "No harm will come to you,"

He jumped out of the bush pointing his sword at all of us. "Awe!" Hunk and I fangirled.

"Wait! He could be dangerous!" He stood in front of me. "Drop your weapon," Keith ordered.

"No one takes Klaizap's weapon!" The Arusian shouted.

"Keith put that away!" Keith reluctantly lowered his Bayard. "Please, kind sir, accept my most humble apologies."

"I am Klaizap, bravest of our warriors. Our village is over Gazelle Hill. I come seeking answers as to why the lion goddess is angry with her followers,"

"Followers?" Coran asked.

"Lion goddess?" I questioned looking at the others... Does he mean Voltron?

"The one the ancients spoke of," Klaizap explained.

"What makes you think she's angered?" Allura asked.

"Fire and destruction have rained down the past few suns and a giant has danced in the sky,"

"I think he's talking about Voltron," Hunk whispered.

"Yeah, I think we got that Hunk," I sweatdropped.

"You haven't angered the goddess," Allura said smiling.

"How do you know?" Klaizap wondered.

"Because I am Allura and this is my Castle," She announced proudly.

Klaizap gasped and started bowing to Allura. "Lion Goddess!"

"Please, bravest warrior, take us to your village so that we may meet our neighbors,"

"What about our mission to get off this planet and fight Zarkon?" Keith asked.

"Part of the paladin's mission is to spread peace and diplomacy," Allura turned to him. "Arus has been our host for 10,000 years. These people deserve our thanks,"

Klaizap leads the group to his village. We all hung out with the Arusians, they were so adorable, the only one who didn't seem happy was Keith.

"Come on Keith lighten up, Allura said we're leaving tomorrow," I told him, he was going to respond but the Arusian King started his apology dance for Allura, she told them not to and they were about to sacrifice themselves... okay, maybe there aren't as cute as I thought. Allura quickly stopped them and allowed the dance to continue.

The Arusians bowed to her as she explained about us, "These are the Voltron paladins, and though we come from different planets with very different traditions we'd like to live alongside you as friends.

"But the mighty angelic robot has it not come to destroy us for our immoral ways?" The king asked.

"Voltron? No. in fact that mighty robot is here to protect you. Let it be known that Voltron will protect every innocent being throughout the universe!" She declared.

The Arusians cheered and gathered around us again. I picked up one of the smaller ones that reached up and followed Keith who tried to get out of the big crowd. A small Arusian jumped on him and hugged him.

"Uhm... I don't usually hug strangers... but man you are cuddly,"

"Thank you," The Arusian said in a deep voice.

"See Keith, it's not so bad," I smiled. He glared at me but I ignored it and kept hugging and talking to the different Arusians. Keith was leaning under a tree watching everyone.

"Shiro?" Allura questioned being the only able to hear him.

"What going on?" Keith asked.

"We need to get to our lions," I said as the ground started shaking. Everyone was and running around. We were helping the Arusians get to safety.

"Everyone, get inside and stay down," The Arusians ran to their homes. Hunk tried but was quickly stopped by Keith. We ran to our lions to see Pidge and Shiro in their lions getting attacked.

"Lay down some cover fire so they can get out!" Keith commanded.

"On it!" Keith, Lance and I began firing on the monster.

"Check this out!" Hunk called excitedly "Battle lion headbutt!" He ran into the monster knocking it down for a moment.

"You guys okay?" Keith asked.

"Still alive for now," Shiro responded we regrouped and looked at the monster.

"Are the Galra behind this?" Hunk asked.

"They'd have to be Voltron doesn't have any other enemies," I pointed out.

"I've never seen anything like this," Shiro said.

"So what's the plan? Shoot at it with everything we got? Take out its weapon? Call it names?" Lance asked.

"If we want to take this monster down there's only one way to do it," Shiro said. "Form Voltron!" All of our lions soared up into the air and formed said giant robot. "Remember, we are on unit fighting with one goal,"

The monster formed a spear again and threw it at us as we flew towards it. Keith and Pidge punched it which worked... Until it didn't and it called the energy spear back which knocked us all down. It was about to again but we flew away in time.

"I thought Voltron was the most powerful weapon in the universe!" Keith said.

"Yeah, so how is this monster kicking our butts!" Hunk complained.

"Hate to point this out but Voltron is over ten thousand years old! It might take some time," I interjected. We watched the orb but were suddenly attacked by the monster.

"Oh no, the village. We have to protect those people," Shiro said. Once again attacked by the orb again. Almost hitting the Arusian village. "That was close."

"We need to lead it away from the Arusians," I said. We flew Voltron towards the desert part of the planet to fight the monster. Lance Attempted to kick the orb but we were knocked down as the monster ran at us.

"Pidge fire the lasers!" Shiro commanded Pidge tried but a shield formed instead. Again we were knocked down but by the monster this time.

"Every time we focus on the orb we're blindsided by the monster, and every time we focus on the monster, the orb hits us!" Hunk panicked.

"Then what do we do?" Lance said.

"Orb!" Hunk warned as we were thrown back into a rock.

"Shiro we gotta move." Keith asked "Shiro?"

"I recognize this monster from my time in Zarkon prison I know how to beat it!" Shiro exclaimed. "Listen there's a loud sound when the orb returns to the base of the weapon, And every third time the orb needs to charge up that's this monsters weak point. That when we strike."

"So what do we do until it needs to charge again?" I asked.

"Defense."

"Pidge we need that shield." She blocked the first attack with the shield.

"That's one. Two more to go!" The orb came back around and almost knocked us down.

"We can't take much more." Hunk said.

"Last one! Everyone brace for impact!" The shield was destroyed with that last attack. "Now!" Keith fired a laser which didn't work.

"Now what?" Lance asked.

"Last time I had a sword,"

"Orb!" Hunk warned again and we were hit yet again.

"We can't keep taking this hits," I warned.

"Wait a second! I think my lions telling me what to do," Keith called out.

"Whatever it is do it!" Lance said. "He's about to fire his third shot!" We were thrown back again. Suddenly the green and red lion were pulled together and formed a sword. Which we used to slice down and defeat the monster.

"How did you do that?" Hunk asked.

"Thanks, red," I could hear Keith.

Everyone returned to the castle to see off the prisoners from Zarkons ship. I looked around to see both Pidge and Shiro gone. I sighed and watched as the prisoners left on an Altean escape pod.

I walked out of the room hoping for some more time to draw. "Hey," I heard some call and turned to see it was Keith.

"Hey. What's up?" I asked.

"I just wanted to... check on you..." He said unsure of himself.

"I'm fine. I was just going to draw and maybe bond with my lion more."

"Oh... that's cool... don't let me keep you then," He said.

"You could join me sometime if you want, I might actually go sit outside and try to sketch the sunset since it might be the last one we see for a while," I told him.

"Yeah," He nodded. We were about to go when Allura told us that we were going to host a party for the Arusians on our last night.  

[Next]

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Fire Emblem Three Houses Review: Shin Megami Sensei

The Fire Emblem series has been on an interesting journey in the past few years. Going into the development of Awakening, the series looked to be on its last legs, only for Awakening to catch on and result in the best sales in the series’ history to that point. While stumbling a bit with Fates and the release of Echoes flying under the radar, all eyes are on the franchise as they make their grand return to home consoles with Three Houses. If the sales data, reviews and word-of-mouth haven’t caught up to you yet, then let me be the first to tell you that Three Houses is an absolute smash hit for the franchise. Engrossing, packed with content, and not afraid to make some bold decisions, it’s an ambitious title that fans, new and old alike, shouldn’t pass up.

ACADEMIA OF THE THREE KINGDOMS

The premise for Three Houses is quite different from your typical franchise entry. Players take the role of Byleth, a young mercenary who is requested to become an instructor at Garreg Mach Academy. The Academy houses students from the three main governing bodies of the continent of Fodlan, and one of the first major decisions players will make is choosing which of the three houses to teach at, which results in many branching pathways after the beginning chapters unfold.

Right from the start, there’s intrigue. The game opens with a stylish, surprisingly bloody battle between two mythological figures, the Goddess Seiros and the King of Liberation, Nemesis, with Byleth’s connection to the two becoming more apparent as time goes on. The Church of Seiros has a tight grip on Garreg Mach, with the archbishop, Rhea, in particular setting her eyes on you. Amidst the schoolyard fun, there’s an undercurrent of rising tensions between the various countries and kingdoms under Fodlan, with certain figures working in the background on some truly gruesome things. While much of Three Houses is fairly lighthearted, when things get serious, it gets dark fast, but thankfully it’s done tastefully and rooted in complex character motivations and excellent world building. Depending on the route you choose, events unfold in different ways and different pieces of the puzzle become clear, though admittedly you’d be losing a lot of context gained from other routes. While each ending is, at least from what I’ve seen and heard, satisfactory, those that want the “whole story” have quite a bit of game to get through to see it all.

Of course, I personally don’t mind, as I find the narrative extremely interesting. Three Houses is packed with great bits of foreshadowing for many later-game events, the alternate routes give you tons of replay value, and in this game more than almost any other Fire Emblem game, the characters sell the experience. While not all are winners (at least in my book), just about every playable unit has more than meets the eye. Some characters come across as one-note: Raphael loves to eat and get sick gains, Annett is the cute, clumsy girl, Marianne is the shy wall-flower, and so on, but getting to know the students, and seeing how they interact with each other, often leads to some interesting surprises. Certain characters ended up winning me over after a few support conversations gave me a bit more insight into why they act the way they do, and some characters in particular have great chemistry with each other. Seteth comes across as a stern, overprotective brother at first glance, but he’s always there to help others and gives some pretty sound advice to anyone willing to hear it. Bernadetta might seem like the mopey shut-in that just needs to get out of her room more often, but it becomes clear her situation is a lot more complicated (and disturbing) than it seems. As in past games, you can have units raise their Support values to get to these heart-to-heart conversations, and while not every single character can Support with another, there’s enough overlap to help make these characters appear three-dimensional, and prove they’re more than the anime tropes and archetypes they seemingly embody.

A MASTERCLASS OF WAR

Fire Emblem has always been a series about decision-making, though Three Houses extends that past the battlefield, resulting in a very different structure for those used to the old games. Each chapter in the game is laid out on an in-game calendar, in a manner that can remind one of the Persona games. At the end of the month, the chapter’s main mission (or “lesson”) will take place, and it’s up to Byleth to make sure their students are prepared. During the week, Byleth teaches students in the art of warfare, helping them cultivate their skills and in some cases, have them reassess their goals. In past games, playable units had a fairly linear path. This one’s an Archer, and can become a Bow Knight or a Sniper, while this Cleric can choose to become a Mage if you wish, for instance. In Three Houses, however, players have almost total control over how their students grow and what they specialize in. While each student has their own strengths and weaknesses (Lysithea excels at magic rather than, say, melee combat, for one), it’s ultimately the player’s choice who fills what role. Students can focus on up to two skills in their own studies, occasionally asking their professor if they should switch goals and focus on other skills instead, resulting in some interesting customization. Characters can also have Budding Talent in certain fields, resulting in them excelling at classes they’d never do on their own. Hilda tries to player herself off as a fragile weakling, but she has the potential to be one of the best Knights in the game, with bulky armor that repels most attacks.

Class Changes work quite a bit differently here too: rather than strictly requiring an item to swap to a new class, students also need to pass Certification Exams to gain the right to use a certain class. Depending on the class, they might need to get weapon skills to a certain point, as well as reach a base level requirement. While I appreciate the customization in this system, being able to keep all my favorite characters in one group without becoming over centralized, I do take issue with the late-game Classes in this game. The Master Classes in this game feel a bit too homogenized, almost all requiring high-levels of skill in horse riding or flying, two skills that happen to be rather annoying to level up. Most characters wouldn’t normally bother with horses, but suddenly need them to complete their upgrade path, which just seems odd. Not to mention certain niches, like the Thief Class, being left out and effectively losing out on a final Class Change. A minor problem in the grand scheme, but it’s a bummer.

Outside of studying, Byleth uses Sundays as their free days. Here players can explore around the academy to chat with students and engage in a number of activities. Gardening, fishing, cooking, fighting tournaments and more. Most of these activities grant you some kind of usable item, or at the very least increase Support levels with students, so they’re well worth doing. You can also attend lectures if you want to squeeze in a bit more skill leveling, take a rest day and effectively skip ahead to the next week, or engage in battles. At times Paralogues, character-specific missions, and side missions can be tackled as well. While the game gives you plenty of options, keep in mind that you only have so much time in the day. Everything in-game has a limited amount of “points” attached to it, so you have to plan wisely. Lecture points for students, exploring points on free days, and battle points for…battles. On Normal Mode, however, there are some battles that can be repeated without any point penalty, effectively allowing for grinding for those that need it, though Hard and above lack it. Three Houses is a game all about options, and of course that’s before we even get to the battlefield!

SQUAD UP

When it comes time to battle, the experience has largely stayed the same as the older titles, though not without some refinements and a few new things thrown in for good measure. The game is still a grid-based, turn-based tactical game at its heart. Players move their units into position and move to take the enemy down, hopefully without any casualties along the way. While many traditional rules still exist here, such as arrows ripping right through flying units or magic wrecking bulky knights, the games iconic “weapon triangle” has largely been downplayed. Players can still earn skills in-game that more or less mimics the advantages you’d get in the old games though. Players who picked up Fire Emblem Echoes will surely notice a lot of that game’s mechanics also appearing here, albeit changed slightly. Weapon durability returns, for one, but now Combat Arts, special moves that cost players health in Echoes, now wear down weapons faster, and I personally like the change. There are a couple of neat additions and minor changes to certain unit types that I like too, like being able to dismount from your horse or flying creature once per turn, allowing players to greatly reduce the specific risks those units typically carry. Pair Up, introduced in Awakening, has been turned into the much-less-powerful Adjunct system, where you assign a character in reserve to another unit, where they will occasionally attack alongside your lead character, defend them from an attack, or heal them. They gain a small amount of EXP from this too, without being in danger of dying, which is neat. Though honestly, I barely noticed Adjuncts helping much throughout the game. Fates already rebalanced Pair Up, so I’m not sure why Three Houses felt the need to weaken it further.

The only out-and-out new mechanics in Three Houses are Battalions. Effectively a small army that is equipped to a given character, Battalions gives a slight boost to stats and also allows for the use of Gambits, special moves that players can only tend to use once or twice a battle. These range from large-scale magic attacks that hit multiple targets, healing or support spells that affect multiple allies, or powerful attacks localized to one enemy. Most of the time, a successful Gambit results in the target becoming “rattled,” unable to move or gain perks from their own Battalion for one turn. While it IS visually interesting to have these battles fought with actual armies as opposed to the dozen or so units seen in most games, Battalions don’t really add too much to the game and if they took them out in the next installment, I wouldn’t miss them much.

One feature that looks like it might become a series staple is the ability to turn back time to undo mistakes. In Echoes it was “Mila’s Turnwheel” and in this game it has been christened “Divine Pulse.” While having limited uses per battle, using Divine Pulse allows players to travel to the turn or action of their choice and have another go at it, undoing a unit’s death or attempting another potential strategy. For all those random “gotcha!” moments these games occasionally dole out, like an unlucky enemy critical hit, or sudden reinforcements, Divine Pulse ends up taking away a lot of the frustration that would otherwise arise. It certainly makes runs on the Classic difficulty toggle, wherein each death in battle is treated as permanent deaths, a lot more manageable. Full disclosure here, I went Normal Casual for this game, and admittedly the game lacks a lot of bite here. Perfect for a newcomer for sure, and there are still some standout missions that required me to reload and try again, no matter how many uses of Divine Pulse I had, but fans that crave challenge might be a tad disappointed. Harder difficulties are coming in a free update, however, so there’s that. On the whole, I think the game did a good job in streamlining some aspects and making it easier to glean information from what’s on screen without reducing depth.

IN CONCLUSION, FEAR THE DEER

The announcement trailer for Three Houses had me nervous, admittedly. After Fates had quite a few missteps, this title needed to be a slam dunk to rebuild faith in the series, at least in my eyes. Hearing all of the positive impressions from reviewers before launch got me interested and upon finishing the Gold Deer route, I was left with a sense of relief. Three Houses surpassed a lot of my expectations, and ultimately delivered on what I wanted out of a home console Fire Emblem experience. The school setting seemed like an odd choice but put into practice, it worked out perfectly for the game and I hope later titles keep finding ways to keep things fresh. Most issues I have with the game are fairly minor, nitpicks at best, and do little to sour me on the title. Yes, there’s the odd nest of menus to navigate for certain things, certain characters aren’t as compelling as they could be, and the game ain’t exactly a looker a lot of the time, but hooked me from the first time I booted it up and it took a lot to pull me away from playing, and that says enough. Fire Emblem: Three Houses is a fantastic starting point for new fans, and a deep, rewarding experience for series veterans. I know strategy RPGs aren’t exactly for everyone, but anyone who has even a passing interest shouldn’t hesitate to add this to your Switch library.

Fear the Deer.

-B

[newstfionline]

Wednesday, July 7, 2021

Surging global food prices (Washington Post) A year of coronavirus pandemic saw a pot of jollof rice grow steadily more expensive in the Nigerian suburb of Nyanya. At Nyanya Market, near Abuja, Nigeria’s capital, the price of the rice that forms the base for the dish went up by 10 percent. A small tin of tomatoes? Twenty-nine percent costlier. And the onions? Their price jumped by a third, according to a Nigerian research firm. Surging consumer food prices are a local problem—and a global one. In Russia, an increase in pasta prices left President Vladimir Putin boiling. In India, it’s cooking oil, and in Lebanon, bread. In meat-loving Argentina, the cost of some cuts of beef has doubled, and beef consumption is at an all-time low. The issue has made headlines the world over, including in the United States, where inflation has climbed to 5 percent, the highest level in 13 years. “Even relatively well-off people complain about how food prices are seemingly on an unstoppable tear,” said Feyi Fawehinmi, a Nigerian author and analyst based in Britain.

Hackers demand $70 million to unlock businesses hit by sprawling ransomware attack (Washington Post) A hacking group that experts said was behind the sprawling ransomware attack that hit hours before the beginning of the July Fourth holiday weekend is demanding $70 million to unlock the thousands of businesses affected by the hack. REvil, the group that was behind the attack on meat processor JBS, posted the demand on a dark-Web site associated with the group. The group wants the funds in bitcoin, a popular cryptocurrency, and said if it receives the money it will publish a “decryptor key,” or a computer code that will unlock the victims’ files. The attack was carried out through software that helps businesses manage their computer systems, made by Miami-based firm Kaseya. On its website, the company said “fewer than 1,500 downstream businesses,” had been affected.

20 years after 9/11, lawsuit against Saudis hits key moment (AP) As the 20th anniversary of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks approaches, victims’ relatives are pressing the courts to answer what they see as lingering questions about the Saudi government’s role in the attacks. A lawsuit that accuses Saudi Arabia of being complicit took a major step forward this year with the questioning under oath of former Saudi officials, but those depositions remain under seal and the U.S. has withheld a trove of other documents as too sensitive for disclosure. The information vacuum has exasperated families who for years have tried to make the case that the Saudi government facilitated the attacks. Past investigations have outlined ties between Saudi nationals and some of the airplane hijackers, but have not established the government was directly involved. The Saudi government has denied any connection to the attacks. But the question has long vexed investigators and is at the heart of a long-running lawsuit in Manhattan on behalf of thousands of victims. The issue gained traction not only because 15 of the 19 hijackers were Saudi—as was Osama bin Laden, the mastermind—but also because of suspicions they must have had help navigating Western society given their minimal experience in the U.S.

Grasshopper Population Jump (Guardian) Deep drought, excessive heat, and wildfires aren’t all that’s threatening lives and livelihoods in the American West. Sweltering conditions are ideal for grasshopper survival, from hatching eggs to adulthood. The ravenous insects are proliferating, arriving in swarms so dense it seems the earth is moving. They’re covering roads and fields, pelting ATV riders, and steadily devouring grains and grass to the torment of farmers and ranchers. They compete with cattle for tough-to-find wild forage, and cost tens of thousands of dollars in lost crops and associated costs. One cattle rancher in a small community in southern Oregon recalled seeing grasshopper bands eat 1,000 acres a day and cover the ground like snow. “I can only describe grasshoppers in expletives,” he said. “They are a scourge of the Earth … They just destroy the land, destroy the crops. They are just a bad, bad predator.” When grasshoppers hatch, they’re so tiny about 50 can fit on a coin the size of a quarter. They’re susceptible to pathogens, brutal winters, and starvation while young, so normally, most would die off before reaching adulthood. But thanks to warmer and drier winters that favored survival, grasshopper populations began ballooning in spring 2020. “The biggest biomass consumer in the country are not cattle, are not bison. They are grasshoppers,” said an entomologist and agricultural scientist who works for Oregon’s department of agriculture. “They eat and eat from the day they get born until the day they die. That’s all they do.”

Four-day week 'an overwhelming success' in Iceland (BBC) Trials of a four-day week in Iceland were an "overwhelming success" and led to many workers moving to shorter hours, researchers have said. The trials, in which workers were paid the same amount for shorter hours, took place between 2015 and 2019. Productivity remained the same or improved in the majority of workplaces, researchers said. A number of other trials are now being run across the world, including in Spain and by Unilever in New Zealand. In Iceland, the trials run by Reykjavík City Council and the national government eventually included more than 2,500 workers, which amounts to about 1% of Iceland's working population. A range of workplaces took part, including preschools, offices, social service providers, and hospitals. Many of them moved from a 40 hour week to a 35 or 36 hour week, researchers said.

US left Afghan airfield at night, didn’t tell new commander (AP) The U.S. left Afghanistan’s Bagram Airfield after nearly 20 years by shutting off the electricity and slipping away in the night without notifying the base’s new Afghan commander, who discovered the Americans’ departure more than two hours after they left, Afghan military officials said. “We (heard) some rumor that the Americans had left Bagram ... and finally by seven o’clock in the morning, we understood that it was confirmed that they had already left Bagram,” Gen. Mir Asadullah Kohistani, Bagram’s new commander said. Kohistani insisted the Afghan National Security and Defense Force could hold on to the heavily fortified base despite a string of Taliban wins on the battlefield. Meanwhile, in northern Afghanistan, district after district has fallen to the Taliban. In just the last two days hundreds of Afghan soldiers fled across the border into Tajikistan rather than fight the insurgents. On display on Monday during was a massive facility, the size of a small city, that had been exclusively used by the U.S. and NATO. The sheer size is extraordinary, with roadways weaving through barracks and past hangar-like buildings. There are two runways and over 100 parking spots for fighter jets known as revetments because of the blast walls that protect each aircraft. One of the two runways is 12,000 feet (3,660 meters) long and was built in 2006. There’s a passenger lounge, a 50-bed hospital and giant hangar size tents filled with supplies such as furniture. Kohistani said the U.S. left behind 3.5 million items, all itemized by the departing U.S. military. They include tens of thousands of bottles of water, energy drinks and military ready made meals, known as MRE’s.

Debris from missing plane found on Russian Far East Kamchatka peninsula (BBC) Debris from a passenger plane carrying 28 people which went missing in the Russian Far East on Tuesday has been found, officials say. The An-26 aircraft lost contact with air traffic control shortly before it was due to land in the settlement of Palana, in the north of the remote Kamchatka peninsula. It is thought unlikely that anyone survived the crash. Unconfirmed reports say it hit a rock as it was coming in to land. It is thought that it then crashed on the coast.

In Myanmar, the military and police declare war on medics (AP) The clandestine clinic was under fire, and the medics inside were in tears. Hidden away in a Myanmar monastery, this safe haven had sprung up for those injured while protesting the military’s overthrow of the government. But now security forces had discovered its location. In Myanmar, the military has declared war on health care—and on doctors themselves, who were early and fierce opponents of the takeover in February. Security forces are arresting, attacking and killing medical workers, dubbing them enemies of the state. With medics driven underground amid a global pandemic, the country’s already fragile healthcare system is crumbling. “The junta is purposely targeting the whole healthcare system as a weapon of war,” says one Yangon doctor on the run for months, whose colleagues at an underground clinic were arrested during a raid. “We believe that treating patients, doing our humanitarian job, is a moral job….I didn’t think that it would be accused as a crime.” Myanmar is now one of the most dangerous places on earth for healthcare workers, with 240 attacks this year—nearly half of the 508 globally tracked by the World Health Organization. That’s by far the highest of any country.

HK leader says ‘ideologies’ pose security risk, teenagers need to be monitored (Reuters) Hong Kong leader Carrie Lam said on Tuesday “ideologies” posed risks to national security and urged parents, teachers and religious leaders to observe the behaviour of teenagers and report those who break the law to the authorities. The financial hub has taken a swift authoritarian turn since China’s imposition of a sweeping national security law last year and changes to its political system to reduce democratic participation and oust people deemed disloyal to Beijing. “For a long time, citizens have been exposed to wrong ideas, such as achieving justice through illegal means,” Lam told reporters, adding that national security risks stemmed not only from “public order” acts, but also from ideology. About an hour after Lam spoke, police said they had arrested nine people, including six secondary students, on suspicion of terrorist activities. The city has been polarised since protesters took to the streets in 2019 demanding greater democracy and accountability for what activists called police violence. Authorities have said the protests were fuelled by foreign forces and exposed risks to national security. Since the security law was introduced, the most prominent government opponents have been jailed or fled abroad. Critics say the legislation has crushed the city’s wide-ranging rights and freedoms, while supporters say it has restored stability.

The Great Escape (Guardian) An Australian woman has been fined $2,500 after kicking down a door and scaling two hotel balconies in order to get out of quarantine. Claiming she simply wanted to go to her mother’s house in Cairns, the 22-year-old pleaded guilty before a Queensland court for failing to comply with the public health mandate. The woman initially tested negative for Covid-19 when she entered quarantine, but the results of her second test are not yet known. The court ordered her to pay a $2,500 fine and return to hotel quarantine on Tuesday.

Smugglers are partly behind Lebanon’s energy crisis (Washington Post) The Lebanese armed forces have lately stepped up their border patrols amid rising public fury over the smuggling of fuel to Syria in the middle of what is Lebanon’s most severe fuel crisis in its history. Lebanon’s worsening financial meltdown has been accompanied by a dire shortage of imported fuel. Roads in cities like Beirut and Tripoli are now lined with cars queuing for hours to get their allotted amount of gasoline, at most a third of a tank. The waits are so long that people order food delivered to cars. Tensions are so high that scuffles have become normal. At least six shootings have taken place at gas stations over the past two weeks. Taxis and Ubers are disappearing. Warnings abound of valet attendants siphoning fuel from cars they park. Yet smugglers have discovered there’s good money to be made by buying gasoline in Lebanon at the heavily subsidized price and then selling it on the black market in Syria, which has a debilitating fuel crisis of its own. Smuggling across the 250-mile border is not new, with an active illegal trade in both directions that includes arms, drugs, cigarettes, foodstuffs and people. The heightened campaign to stem the flow of gasoline across the border is proving no more successful than earlier efforts to stop other types of smuggling.

[keywestlou]

JANUARY 6 A PEARL HARBOR.....PERPETRATORS MUST BE PUNISHED AND ANNIHILATED

I have said it before, I say it again. January 6 was another Pearl Harbor. The insurgent opposition must be destroyed. Sounds strong. It is!

The insurgents would have done more if they could have on January 6. Imagine Pence hanging from the gallow. Pelosi killed.

Hundreds are being arrested. Whatever the number, it will be minuscule when compared to the number actually attacking the Capitol. Hundreds in no way equates to the 8,000 estimated to have participated in the attack.

Each insurgent group must be sought out. Their camps, offices destroyed. Their members arrested and tried. Total destruction of the enemy is required.

The insurgents are the “enemy.” January 6 has emboldened them. We must get them before they get us. It is like the Civil War as well as Pearl Harbor.

The enemy has fired the first shot. Retribution and destruction in order.

Not the time to sit and wait for the enemy’s next move. It is time to be active, not reactive.

Religion can be carried to extremes. Nonsensical ones.

Coronavirus has come in conflict with abortion.

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops has instructed U.S. bishops to advise Catholic health systems not to use the Johnson and Johnson vaccine. It has something to do with what has been described as a “remote” connection between abortion and the vaccine. Something to do with “cells.” Specifically what, I could not ascertain. When I can, I will let you know.

The health systems are in a quandary. What do they do with the John and Johnson vaccines already received? Should they listen to the Bishops Conference and follow its dictates re use of the vaccine?

To listen to the Bishops Conference places health systems and others at risk.

Some Bishops do not accept the dictates of the Bishops Conference. They believe being anti the Johnson and Johnson vaccine requires Bishops to take an anti-life position.

Both positions anti-life.

Anti-abortion has become a theoretical moral purity. Must it become a position that places the lives of Catholics, the lives of others, and the common good at risk?

The Bishops Conference promoting avoidance of the Johnson and Johnson vaccine is another example of why Catholic Churches have fewer and fewer active members. Note as my past writings indicate, the Bishops Conference and Pope Francis are not on the same page with many issues. Francis has taken no position with regard to the Johnson and Johnson vaccine.

U.S. citizens along the way have become more and more independent. Even the government cannot tell them what to do. They will make their own judgments. The face mask issue an example.

State legislatures are expressing what they perceive as their right to avoid obeying federal laws and orders.

Georgia and Albama with their pending legislation to change voting laws an example.

Some states are going even farther. The North Dakota and South Dakota legislatures are in the process of invalidating all of what they perceive are unconstitutional Biden orders. The two states are heavy Republican. The legislatures overwhelming Republican. As are their governors. The proposed law in each state will without question become law in each state.

The “orders” involved include: Executive orders relating to the use of land, regulations on agriculture, regulations on natural resources such as oil and coal, regulations on pandemics or other health emergencies, the Constitutional right to keep and bear arms.

States do have the right to reject unconstitutional laws coming from the federal government. Normally done through court proceedings. Not unilaterally without the courts being involved.

North and South Dakota want to go their owns way, however.

The Constitution’s Supremacy Clause enjoins each state to follow laws that are Constitutionally sound and only on issues that the Constitution granted purview to the federal government to determine.

Years of litigation will follow the new laws.

The problem again is no one wants to listen to “authority.” People and some states consider themselves “the authority.”

Over a half million Americans have died because of COVID-19, Russia, the Middle East and China re threatening problems. To mention just a few of the heavy matters confronting the U.S.

The Republican mouthpiece FOX News and some Congressional Republicans have recently been expressing their positions re what has become labeled as “Cancel Cultural Wars.” The title in itself confusing.

Involved are children’s shows and books like Dr. Seuss, The Muppet Show, M. Potato Head, and Sesame Street.

Why?

I suspect because the base of the Republican Party has dramatically changed. It is no longer the “establishment” party. Educated serious minded persons. Rather it has become the party of “blue collar” persons.

Issues are sought which new found Republican voters can understand and follow.

—

DAY 39…..Greece the First Time

Posted on July 5, 2012 by Key West  Lou

I got lost!

Only to me would it happen.

Comogli runs upwards from the Mediterranean. My apartment is directly on the ocean. Each block ascends in parallel fashion behind me.

The horizontal/parallel streets are ok. They run normal in a straight line. It is the vertical streets that are the problem. There are streets and alleys running up and down. The alleys, though narrow, are as much a thoroughfare as the streets. The vertical streets and alleys bend and twist all over the place.

I was at an internet shop several blocks up. Took a large number of steps and one long street to get to the internet store. When I left the internet store, I got confused, screwed up. I missed the first set of stairs. Tried several others. No good. Then tried the alleys. Even worse.

I knew I would eventually get out. I could see the Mediterranean below me. I just needed to find the correct opening to get down to it.

I finally did. It was a major accomplishment!

There is a palazzo a few steps from the internet store. Note, palazzo. I am starting to speak like a native Italian.

I sat on a bench. There was a nearby street fair. I wanted to watch the world go by.

I lit a cigarette. Bad, I know. So did some one else. There was an elderly man (like me) sitting on the next bench. Italian. He came over and started speaking to me in Italian. Though I could not understand him, I knew what he was talking about. The evils of smoking.

I let him finish. Then I let him know I did not understand Italian, only spoke English.

His face lit up. He started the tirade again. This time in English. He was proud to show off his ability to speak English.

He sat with me for a while. We talked of his experiences back in 1960 in the United States. He had been in Cuba on business. Flew to Philadelphia and then to California where he spent some time. He congratulated me on the Fourth of July. He knew our history intimately.

I was ashamed. I had forgotten it was July 4, Independence Day. Other than my new found friend, there was no other person or thing to remind me. Additionally, days and dates run into each other when you are bouncing around as I am. I rarely am sure of the day of the week let alone a date.

My friend’s wife came along. He introduced me and they were on their way.

There was a large statue in the palazzo. It was a memorial to Nato A. Camogli. I tried to look him up on the internet. He is there. All over the place. However, every article is in Italian so I never got his background.

I swam a bit in the Mediterranean and sun bathe in the afternoon. To swim, you have to pay. Just like the Jersey Shore and Cape Cod. The beaches were unique. No sand. Stones. Each about 3-4 inches in diameter. Hurt the feet. The water was not clear as it had been in Greece. Murky like Key West used to be.

Then a nap. The sun was hot and tiring. My apartment for some reason cool. No air conditioning. I think it is the three foot walls.

Clotheslines come into play again. I raised the issue with my new friend in the palazzo. He, too, said it was because sun dried is better. I think he is wrong, also. These people have never known the joy of an electric dryer so they cannot compare.

He also told me many of the buildings were built with special pipes to hold the clothesline between windows or buildings. He assured me my apartment had one.

When I returned to the apartment, I checked. Sure enough, there below the window ledge in the living room was a clothesline. It ran from one living room window to the other. There were pipes at each end firmly affixed to the walls. A roller on each.

I had my own clothesline and never knew it!

Dinner was at another sea side cafe. Another excellent meal!

I had a local dish. Whereas the polenta was bad from my perspective, the pasta special dish was not. Oh, so good!

It is called trofie. A small curly thin macaroni. It was served with a pesto sauce. If I ate no more, I had dined like a king!

Broiled fish was my entree. I was taken into the kitchen. There were several glass vats with fish swimming around in them. I picked my own fish for dinner. I could not help thinking I was also passing a death sentence on the fish selected.

The cooked fish was a winner!

I took a walk along the sea side after dinner. The area is like a huge boardwalk. Except that it is about 40 feet wide and constructed with brick and stone from a thousand years ago or better.

Speaking of bricks, there are many in arches under buildings and walk ways. Some one told me the bricks were from medieval times. He showed me how they were half the size of today’s brick. He was proud to explain how they had held up over the ages.

I desired ice cream. It is gelato here. You buy it at a galateria. I enjoyed a soft chocolate on a cone.

Gelato back home in Utica is different. It is hard. Great taste. Better than present day gelato.

I figured out years ago when I visited Rome why there was a difference between Utica’s gelato and that of Italy. It is the time factor. My people came to the new world between 1880 and 1920. They brought with them the cooking and food of that time in Italy. Gelato was hard back then.

Time changes everything. From the hard delicacy of yesteryear to the softer one of today. Both good. Again however, I prefer the older.

Never made Portofino yesterday. I get comfortable and say another day. I am running out of days. This afternoon Portofino is on my schedule. A car is not the way to get there. No parking. I have been told to take the train. For one stop only. Then a boat for a short ride to Portofino. Not easy. But I will get there.

Enjoy your day!

JANUARY 6 A PEARL HARBOR…..PERPETRATORS MUST BE PUNISHED AND ANNIHILATED was originally published on Key West Lou

[lolsmurfaccounts]

Funniest League of Legends Jokes on the Internet

When it comes to jokes, there are plenty of then out there, but they are even funnier when they are about our favorite games League of Legends is no different, and the bright and witty minds of the internet have come together to compile one of the largest collection of jokes about a fandom that is currently out there Just do a quick search for “League of Legends” jokes and you will find plenty of websites that feature them.

Dig a little deeper by hanging out on LOL forums and talking to people in-game and you’ll come across many more jokes But you don’t have to do all that work to get the biggest chuckle from LOL jokes, because we’ve scoured the internet and found the best League of Legends jokes out there, and then used super-secret-sciency formulas to rank and categorize them and have listed them here You don’t have to hang out LOLNexus and wait for the perfect joke to come along All you have to do is read below Here’s one to get you started:

Q: Why does Teemo live in a small house?

A: He doesn’t need mushroom

Best Q & A League of Legend Jokes

Q & A jokes are the most popular of the jokes out there for League of Legends players. Plus, these funny League of Legends jokes are all about characters in the game.

That seems to be the most creative outlet when it comes to creating these jokes. Lot os these funniest LOL jokes are the same ones that you will have made with your friends, but the Q & A section is definitely the biggest here. We have saved some of the best worst Q & A jokes for a lower section, but you should be able to get a laugh out of most of these.

There were a lot more jokes out there than just these, but we had to skip a few of them because the touched on racial or overly sensitive topics, or were simply sexual in nature (and in bad taste as well). Here are the very best of the Q & A jokes that we were able to find.

Q: Why didn’t Sivir win the spelling bee?

A: Because she could only spell shield

Q: Why did Fzz fall off his trident?

A: Because he’s unbalanced!

Q: What do you call Malphite getting a double kill against Azir and Anivia?

A: Killing two birds with one stone

Q: Why did Fiddlestick get promoted?

A: Because he was outstanding in his field

Q: Why do chefs love cooking for Ekko?

A: Because he always goes back 4 seconds

Q: Why is Yasuo the best roommate?

A; Because he always HASAKEY

Q: What’s the Yordles’ most hated phone carrier?

A: Teemobile

Q: What’s Vayne’s favourite site?

A: Tumblr

Q: What do you call a Blitzcrank with 6 Triforces?

A: A really expensive hooker

Q: Why is Tf an illegal immigrant?

A: Because he doesn’t have a green card

Q: Who is the most academically successful female champion?

A: Jinx She got A’s while the rest of them got D’s

Q: Why can’t Olaf find a handicapped parking spot?

A: He can’t be disabled

Q: Why did the manaless Syndra run from the teamfight?

A: She didn’t have the balls

Q: What do you call a game-winning laser?

A: Viktor-E

Q: How does Janna shield her allies?

A: With Ease (With E’s)

Q: When is a door not a door?

A: When it’s a Jarvan

Q: Why is Zilean the master of time?

A: Because he’s got a Zilean clocks!

Q: What do you call an AFK Shyvana?

A: A statikk Shyv!

Q: What is a marksman’s least favorite plant?

A: A-kali Flower!

Q: What do you call a Renekton support?

A: Gatoraide!

Q: What do you call a Camille that’s stealthed?

A: A Camille-eon

Q: Why did Nami fail her final year at school?

A: All her grades were under C!

Q: What did Aurelion Sol say when he bumped his leg on a wall?

A: Ao, my shin!

Q: What do you call a Warwick that’s MIA?

A: A wherewolf!

Q: What is the secret League of Legends religion that every player follows?

A: Siontology!

Q: What do Rammus and Malphite listen to?

A: Rock ‘n’ Roll! Ok

Q: Why can’t Gangplank play cards?

A: Because he’s always standing on the deck!

Q: Did you know that Alistar is dyslexic?

A: He always goes oom!

Q: What do you do to a toxic Zyra?

A: Repot them!

Q: How long does it take to save up enough money for a Locket?

A: Aegis

Q: What do you call Renekton wearing a vest?

A: An In-vest-igator!

Q: What’s Lee Sin’s favorite game mode?

A: Blind pick!

Q: Where does Fiora water her plants?

A: En garden!

Q: How does Sona charge her phone?

A: With a Power Chord!

Q: What do you call Kennen when he is stunned in Lightning Rush?

A: Static Electricity

Q: How many bronze players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Who knows – They can’t climb the ladder

Q: Why is Yasuo never locked out of his house?

A: Because he always Hasaki!

Q: Why was Caitlyn pulled over on the highway?

A: She was going AD miles per hour

Q: Why did Riot take off LeBlanc’s silence?

A: So she can hear the screams of her enemy as she one shots them

Best One-Liner League Jokes

Some of the best jokes out there from League of Legends players came as one-liner jokes. These have been pulled from around a dozen different sources, including the official game forums. It is impossible to know who to credit these jokes to, as they are repeated and passed around so many times until the originator of the joke is impossible to discern. Plus, some of these are pretty obvious, and were probably thought up by more than one LOL player at once. Check out these hilarious one-liner jokes straight from other players.

Lee Sin walks into a bar and into a chair, and into a table

Brand got banned for flaming

At the start of the game, Blitz said “Let’s go invade!” Then he ran very fast using his ‘W’ skill

Sometimes Volibear tells me jokes, but I just can’t bear them

Yorick walks into a bar, there is no counter

100 people followed Singed on Twitter They all died

You know Zilean is having a bad day when he asks you for the time

Katarinas dark secret is that she’s prone to getting dizzy

Trundle never ceases to be amazed about how everyone on the internet knows he’s a troll

Mordekaiser really hates airport security

Shacos darkest secret is that he’s afraid of children

Sometimes Karthus picks up a sword and pretends that he’s Arthas

Amumus favorite emote is /cry

Heimerdinger has a gadget for every occasion, but his friends think he went too far during the attack of a mariachi band of penguins dressed up as clowns

Once Evelynn almost choked to death, but nobody could tell

Evelynn is constantly being bothered by an old man named Gargamel

When Katarina got into the assassination business she made a killing

For some reason Alistar suffers from headaches

Soraka hates the saying “when you hear hoof beats, think horses”

Teemo is a big player in the underground drug market

Ryze’s big secret is a real shocker!

When Malphite and Rammus hang out they like to Rock n’ Roll!

When Udyr masturbates, is it considered bestiality?

Maplphite once took swimming lessons. He doesn’t like to talk about it

Warwick used to do a lot of huffing and puffing, and there were three talking pigs involved. So, don’t do drugs, kids.

Cassiopeia always knows how much she weighs thanks to all her scales.

Singed made a potion so strong it made him see double! Turns out it was just Shaco playing a prank!

Taric’s mother thinks he’s a real gem!

Vladimir really loves Bloody Mary! She’s his girlfriend!

Everyone stared when Lux asked if anyone’s got a light?

Once Kog’maw had a cold, but no one could tell.

Tristana is disappointed that it’s never a rocket in your pocket.

Sometimes, to mess with people Kayle and Morgana switch clothes.

You know what happened when Blitzcrank went on a date with katarina? He knocked her up!

Did you see Annie dance last night? She was on fire!

We would tell you a Pantheon joke but there are over 300 of them…

Noc Noc? Who’s There? Daaaaaaaaaarrknesssss

Best “Yo’Momma” LOL Jokes

One of the categories that seems to be severely lacking in the League of Legends joke world is the “Yo Momma” joke. These are a staple of any comedy gathering, and other games have tons of Yo Momma” jokes about them. But we were only able to find a few. Maybe you can come up with some of your own jokes in this category and add them to the game forums and other places where players congregate. In the meantime, check out these jokes, and remember, we are certain that YOUR momma is a very nice person and that none of these jokes actually apply to her personally.

Yo momma is so fat, Cho’gath feasted on her and gained full stacks

Yo momma so ugly she feared Nocturne!

Yo momma so fat, Fiddlesticks drained her and got diabetes!

Your mum is so fat she has to recall twice to get back to base.

Yo momma so fat, when Singed tried to Fling her, he broke his back

Best Worst Jokes about League of Legends

As we sifted through thousands of jokes to make this compilation, one thing became very clear: there were lots of jokes out there that really should just have been drug out into the street and shot. But some of those terrible jokes were so terrible that they were actually funny. Those are the ones that we felt compelled to include here. If you laugh at these, then you probably need to get some better jokes in your life. If you groan…well..don’t blame us. We didn’t write them. We wouldn’t admit it if we did.

Q: What does Mordekaiser hate the most?

A: Airport Security

Q: What do you call a Lucian that goes AFK?

A: A Black Leaver

Q: How do you beat Orianna?

A: Ochris Brown

Q: What car does Garen drive?

A: A FORD EMACIAAAA

Q: Why is Riven such a broken champion?

A: Because a sword mirrors its owner

Q:How many platinum 1 players do you need to replace a light bulb ?

A: None, they would break the ladder and blame everyone for it

Olaf: Hey Elise do you know what counters Vi the most?

Elise: No what?

Olaf: Me, because I’m a VI-king

A family was driving along on a road trip

Little kid: Ahri there yet? Ahri there yet? Ahri we there yet? Ahri there yet?

Q: Why does Viktor make a great friend?

A: Because he always has a spare helping hand!

Q: Why does Viktor always win his lane?

A: Because he always has the upper hand!

Q: Why couldn’t the potato play ADC?

A: Because no one would peel for him

Q: How do you troll players in League of Legends?

A: Yorick roll them!

Q: Why is Master Yi’s Q so buggy?

A: Because it’s “alpha” strike!

Teemo walks into a bar. “I’ll have a glass of water, please!”

(2 seconds later)

Bartender: “Here’s your wat… wait, where’d he go?”

Best League of Legends Pick-Up Lines

One of the League of Legends humor categories that was simply stuffed was the pick-up line category. Now, only a girl (or a guy) who actually played LOL would get these jokes. Anyone else would simply look at you as if you were crazy. There were hundreds and hundreds of jokes in this category, but we didn’t have the room for all of them, so we pared them down to some of the ones that made us chuckle. Remember, you use these jokes at your own risk. If you don’t have a significant other, you probably won’t after you use these pick-up lines either. If you already do have a partner, then you might be without one if you use these lines on them too. Let’s take a look at some of the best League of Legends pick-up lines.

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, I’d have to call Sheriff Caitlyn because you’re guilty as charged.

You know, if Ezreal saw you, he’d need a map. He’d get lost in your eyes.

Girl, is your name Ashe? Because your beauty stunned me from a distance!

Is your name Janna? Because you blow me away.

Hey girl, wanna come back to my base and check out my Needlessly Large Rod?

Are you an AD carry? Because I’m fired up and ready to serve.

Are you Cassiopeia? Because when I stare at you I get hard.

Are you Orianna? Because you can play with my balls.

Can I invade your jungle?

Can I put my doran blade in your doran ring?

Can I tap your dark spheres?

Did I mention its mating season?

Do you main Ahri? Because I find you charming.

Even if you were Singed I would still chase after you.

Girl you’re like draven – spinning me around town.

The League of Legends URF/NURF April Fool’s Joke

One of the jokes that we found to be the funniest didn’t actually come from the players. Many players will remember the URF and NURF April Fool’s jokes that Riot trolled everyone with if they have been playing LOL for any length of time. If you are new to the game, or for some reason, you haven’t heard about these, then allow us to enlighten you, because this was really a great prank, and the fact that Riot was able to change it and do it again – and fool everyone again – made it even better.

Okay, so the story starts with URF – a new game mode that the company claimed was going to be introduced temporarily to see how it worked out. The developer called it URF, which stood for Ultra Rapid Fire. It was supposed to make everything thousands of times faster, including attack speed, movement, crit damage and even gold was supposed to increase. Mana costs and cooldown times were also supposed to have gone up. Of course, the company made this announcement just before April 1st, and it turned out to be an April Fool’s Joke.

But then, they brought it back once again, this time calling it NURF (for New Ultra Rapid Fire) and it had the following specifications:

+100% mana and energy cost on all abilities

+200% cooldown inflation on abilities, items and summoner spells

+225 movement speed reduction

+200% delay between basic attacks

Critical strikes deal 50% of base AD

Units critically strike on 150% of attacks

Of course, that was exactly the opposite of “URF” and this one wasn’t real either. It was just another April Fool’s joke that fooled people..again.

[wanderingstoryteller]

Guild Wars 2: Random Trivia About the Crystal Desert

Hello, fellow lore nerds! I’ve been a busy little Branded this past month: getting back into my college routine, doing a bit more creative writing than usual, and engaging in a fun-but-exhausting new activity my sister calls... “socializing”.

Still, I wanted to find time to cover PoF around here -- I’ve had a couple little side projects cooking, and with Path of Fire just one day away (!!!), I was planning something extra special for you guys. It was gonna be a beginner’s guide to the continent of Elona: background information about the region, its history, inhabitants and whatnot. To make sure everyone’s on the same page, and knows the backstory going in.

Oh, it would have been magnificent. If only Arenanet hadn’t beaten me to the punch by doing the exact same thing, but way better and several days early. 

It put me in a bit of an awkward position. What’s a lore nerd to do when his purpose has been fulfilled? With whom do I share my bounty of knowledge? 

And then I realized what I had known in my heart all along... I don’t need a reason to share pointless trivia about a world I love. To share pointless trivia is its own reward, I say! So, rather than step on Arenanet’s toes by doing the same thing they did, I decided to build on top of it. Because Arenanet’s post, as well-written as it was, didn’t dive into what makes Elona such a fun place to hang around in -- its depth. So many smaller details, not central to the story, but adding that extra layer of uniqueness crucial to making a setting memorable.

So that’s my mission here: show off the more obscure plot elements that make Elona such a cool place to be. Things I hope to see touched on, even if it’s just in a bit of throwaway dialogue. I hope y’all enjoy, and if all goes well, tomorrow I’ll be seeing you on the first ship to Amnoon!

The Junundu

To start with something vaguely relevant: a while back, you might have noticed that the Wurms on the Tarnished Coast were looking a little... different. That turned to be because of a really weird bug, which swapped out the Jungle Wurm model for something else. A model just added to the client.

What is it, you ask? Turns out it’s one of the most feared beasts in all of Elona: The Junundu Wurm.

The Junundu are massive, hardy creatures, one of the few living things able to survive in the Desolation. According to Elonian legend, Palawa Joko tried to tame them, turn them into beasts of war for his conquest of Vabbi. But he failed, so he set them loose across his kingdom. Over the years, though, others have had better luck. During the events of Nightfall, the Sunspears were able to tame a small group of Junundu and use them to cross the Desolation safely. 

Yes, this is the reason I got so excited by the idea of mounts. Who doesn’t want to ride an enormous, all-devouring Sand Wurm? I’d name her Kirby.

The Abandoned Superweapon 

The Crystal Desert is filled with ruins. Before Joko took over, the Elonians were constantly trying to settle the place, drawn to Augury Rock and the possibility of Ascension. Some were killed by the Forgotten protecting the place, but at least one colony destroyed themselves. A civil war broke out over the Crystal Desert’s dwindling resources, and in desperation, one side created a weapon capable of wiping out the entire settlement. Under unknown circumstances, the weapon was activated, and both sides of the conflict ceased to exist. 

What happened to the weapon afterward? Well, for a couple centuries, it just sort of... sat there, in the middle of The Arid Sea. An armed, perfectly functional superweapon, forgotten by everyone. Even Arenanet themselves forgot about it for a little while -- the quest content about the relic had to be cut from Prophecies due to time constraints. And so, for another two centuries, it sat. 

Don’t worry, though -- it was eventually recovered by the Durmand Priory and stored in Special Collections, alongside other lost relics like the Holy Grail, Zhaitan’s tail and Ogden Stonehealer. Tyria is safe... for now. 

Teleporters

You modern Tyrians are spoiled, what with your newfangled Asura Gates and fancy shmancy Waypoints. Back in my day, we had to walk to our destination, and we walked uphill both ways! Unless, that is, we were in the Crystal Desert. Then we kind of had it covered. 

While one Crystal Desert colony was busy constructing the most devastating Indiana Jones reference of all time, another was busy revolutionizing desert commerce. Using magic, they figured out how to transport objects instantly between one point and another -- the same technology found in asuran Waypoints, centuries before the asura were ever encountered on the surface. They spent years constructing a network of these “Teleporters”, making life in the area much easier for anyone that knew how to activate them. When their great work was complete, they proceeded to suddenly and anticlimactically die out, just like all the others. 

Tragically, with nobody left to repair them, the technology behind the Teleporters degraded with time. They now stand as little more than a pretty addition to the desert scenery, and a lasting reminder to us all that humans aren’t nearly as dumb as the asura keep insisting we are. 

Ancestor Trees

Ventari wasn’t the only centaur with a love of nature. Elonian centaurs, like the Veldrunner and Losaru prides, were staunch nature-lovers themselves. In fact, much of local centaur culture revolved around their so-called “Ancestor Trees”. 

According to centaur mystics, the spirits of centaur elders would congregate around these places. Eager to teach the next generation, these spirits blessed the fruit of these trees, imparting their knowledge and wisdom on those lucky enough to get a bite. Somewhat rare, being magic and all, they were highly sought after by Elonians, and vigorously defended by the centaurs.

Most Ancestor Trees were burned or abandoned during Nightfall, when Abaddon’s forces attacked and enslaved many of the centaur prides. At least one survived with help from the Sunspears, but I’m interested to see what happened afterward. Have Ancestor Trees flourished across Elona once again, or has Palawa Joko chosen to uproot them once and for all?

The Order of Whispers

Wait, who let these guys in here!? They aren’t Elonian! 

...Or at least, they aren’t Elonian anymore. 

In the modern day, the Order of Whispers is dedicated to defending Tyria from the Elder Dragons. But few know that this wasn’t their original purpose. The Order of Whispers was originally based in Elona, founded by Turai Ossa himself. Their mission? Guard Palawa Joko’s tomb at all costs. Ensure that he never rises to threaten Vabbi again. And stop anyone who tries to set him free. 

They were good at their jobs -- so good, in fact, that almost nobody outside the Order even knew where the tomb was. But all good things come to an end, and the end came in Nightfall. With Abaddon poised to break free of his prison, the Sunspears needed a way to stop him. The problem? That final climactic battle was going to occur at the Mouth of Torment, smack-dab in the middle of the Desolation. No living thing could cross that sulfurous wasteland intact. But there was one being that knew how they might be able to manage it.

Palawa Joko would tell them. He would tell them all about the Junundu, and how they might be tamed. But first they had to set him free. The Order didn’t like it, but they knew it wouldn’t matter in the end if Abaddon wiped them all out. So the deal was made, and Joko returned. 

A hundred years later, the Order was fleeing for their lives. Vabbi, Kourna and Istan had all surrendered to Joko’s forces, and at long last, his enemies were being purged. To survive, they hopped on a boat and fled to mainland Tyria. There they found a civilization under siege on all sides, and a new purpose. 

But with the path to Elona open once again, I can’t help but wonder... what do they make of their first, greatest failure? And do they plan on setting it right?

The Mordant Crescent

The Sunspears might have freed Palawa Joko, but they didn’t like him very much. The feeling was mutual -- Joko knew the Sunspears would defy him when he made his play for Vabbi, and that’s exactly what they did in the end. Unfortunately, they failed, and for their failure, they suffered the worst of Joko’s wrath. Joko had them hunted mercilessly, one by one, and the hunt was led by an order of his own: the Mordant Crescent. 

Ever a fan of irony, Joko formed the Crescent exclusively out of traitors to the Sunspear Order. He had a lot of them on-hand after the conquest of Vabbi. Many in the Order believed their cause was hopeless, and so defected to the winning side. Some did it for power. Some did it for immortality. Some did it to protect their families. Joko didn’t care about their motivations. As long as they were willing to hunt down their former allies, he would accept them.

All members of the Mordant Crescent are powerful necromancers, and granted far more autonomy than Joko usually allows. This is by design -- Joko already has plenty of mindless minions to go around, after all. What he wants out of the Crescent is something far more dangerous: Heroes. Wandering adventurers that protect Joko’s interests on their own initiative, with the same cunning, creativity and determination that had always been employed against him in the past. 

Much like us? No. Exactly like us. Like the rest of Elonian culture, we too have been reforged in Palawa Joko’s image. 

Tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen, we travel to one of the richest settings in the history of the Guild Wars franchise. For those of us that have been there before, it’ll be a nostalgia trip like no other. And for those of you who have never had the pleasure, I hope this post gave you a little taste of why I’m so excited. 

See you tomorrow, and may the Six Five bless you!