#i like interactions in general so really i have nothing to complain about

[narcoticwriter]

Not gonna lie, I only watched the epilogue of Lantern Rite to get a taste of character interactions and I'm happy with it, so there.

[forcedhesitation]

astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face

[diluc33rpm]

the romance/relationship system in bg3 is genuinely some of the worst designed shit i've ever seen in any game with that feature but at least the memes we get out of it are funny. once saw someone comment something along the lines of 'patch note: waving at gale will no longer cause him to buy a house for the two of you to retire in' and i've never recovered since

[leilanihours]

# IMGONNAGETYOUBACK

pairing: paige bueckers x ex-gf/iowa!reader

word count: 4880

warnings: suggestive content, arguing

summary: your "rivalry" with a certain uconn blonde has its speculation, but no one knows what happened behind the scenes.

⭑ from lani: why is every single thing ive posted based off of a song..anyways..hope yall enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it

masterlist !

AS YOU SLIP into your black jersey, adrenaline courses through your veins. you and your teammates have successfully carried iowa to the final four of march madness. you've all come this far and refuse to break the streak.

but similar to your previous game against lsu, there's a lot of speculation surrounding the tension on the court with uconn. people are going crazy over the paige bueckers and caitlin clark face-off, but they’re going even crazier over your own heated interactions with the blonde.

the internet has decided to constantly pit you two against each other after observing your intense taunting and confrontations in previous years. they believe that it’s merely competitive tendencies but they have no idea where it all actually stems from.

you haven’t always been a hawkeye. for your first two years of college, you were a husky through and through. the public knows this, of course, which adds to the stigma around your name. but after a season-ending injury, you decided you needed a change of pace and environment. it was nothing personal against your teammates, coach, or school in general, you just felt like uconn wasn't where you were supposed to be.

so after you were in the transfer portal, everyone went ballistic. there was a plethora of reactions - some encouraging and supportive, others targeted and calling you a "traitor."

that's what the public is aware of. but they have yet to discover the deeper scars.

"you gonna lock in, y/n?" one of your teammates asks from behind you. turning around, you are met with caitlin, the other hawkeye under extremely close observation tonight.

"i gotchu," you smirk, "what about you? you gonna carry the team again?”

"you already know," she says, mirroring your expression. the two of you have gotten very close over the past couple years, which honestly makes the whole paige situation worse as people make comments like "caitlin and y/n versus paige is crazy" or "ready for this 2v1 game tonight!” they piss all three of you off but really just add to the hype and buildup of the game.

soon enough, your coach is ushering all the girls out of the locker room and onto the court. screams and cheers fill your ears as the crowd observes your entrance. and damn, if your ego wasn't high before, it definitely was now.

the two sides of the arena were filled, one side a sea of navy and white, the other a myriad of gold and black. music blasts from the speakers and makes the walls shake with energy. as you make your way over to the bench, you raise your arms repeatedly to get the crowd going. gaining an immediate reaction, you smile big and put your hand to your ear to play into the praise.

your teammates shake their heads at your antics. they know how competitive you can get. you tend to interact with the crowd and cameras a lot, but no one (especially fans at home) complains.

the crowd before you quiets down for a split second as you focus back onto what your coaches are saying in the huddle. suddenly you hear echoes of booing and other taunts as everyone turns around to see the uconn girls run out excitedly. the last one to come out is none other than paige bueckers, blonde hair in her signature braids and ponytail immediately catching your eye.

part of the reason people always compare you to her is because of how similar you are. your game style, skill set, and energy has always resembled the husky's, but you never understood it until she does the exact same hand motions you did but to the uconn supporters.

as she turns away from the crowd, her eyes dart around to find yours, doing so in a matter of seconds. her icy blue eyes send a chill down your spine as she holds intense contact. fuck. she knows exactly what she's doing. 

you can tell from the few seconds your eyes are glued to hers that she still wants you. you just know. there's too much emotion behind the stare, saying everything that needs to be said and more.

coach bluder gives the run-down on defensive assignments quickly and explains some of the plays. somehow, by some force of nature, you're stuck guarding the one person you were conflicted with: number five, paige bueckers.

your teammates all turn to you as soon as the words leave your coach's mouth. they are well aware of your special history with the blonde as well as your complicated relationship now.

"you got that, y/n?" caitlin asks you.

"yeah," you shrug, "you don't have to worry about me. i'm good." and you meant it. you were sick of being compared to paige all the time and were ready to show people who's better.

did you still care for the girl? of course; you always have and always will. but will you let that get in the way of your winning streak? hell no.

the referee beckons each team to the center of the court for the tip-off. hannah sets herself up for the jump ball, standing across from aaliyah edwards on uconn's side. 

you confidently walk over to where paige is standing. your eyes meet hers once again as you wordlessly dap her up, offering a civil front. you already know you'll being seeing the clip on your feed a lot tomorrow morning.

despite the cordial interaction, your mind is running wild at the feel of paige's long fingers brushing against yours. you missed her like crazy, but were also upset with her for multiple different reasons. right now you were enemies, opponents, rivals. but in a few hours after the game? well, you would have to wait and see.

the ref throws the ball in the air and aaliyah manages to get her fingers on the ball first to swat in her teammates' directions. uconn almost immediately turns it over due to paige missing kk's pass as the ball goes out of bounds. it's just too easy.

------

the buzzer sounds loudly, signaling the end of the second quarter and halftime. you and your teammates jog to the locker room, sweaty and out of breath. the score was currently 32-26 with uconn in the lead.

you had to admit, that definitely wasn't your team's best first half but you were ready to come back twice as hard.

"c'mon guys," lisa yells, "we gotta seriously up our game right now and fight against their defense. keep giving them as many fouls as possible.

"caitlin, we're gonna try to give you more threes, so everyone else, if caitlin has the ball, set those screens, got it?"

you all nod wordlessly as you pay attention to her words. your coach turns to you, looking you directly in the eye, her stare deadly.

"y/n, you gotta push bueckers more, don't direct all your focus on getting cait the ball. really use that energy that i know you have."

"yeah i hear you," you pant as you wipe your forehead with a towel. 

one of the coaching assistants hands you a waterbottle, so you immediately squeeze the ice cold water into your mouth without putting the nozzle on your lips. it's a habit that you have whenever you're in a rush or busy thinking about something.

"and one more thing, y/n," you hear your coach call you before you make your way back on the court, "please, for the love of god, leave your emotions out of it tonight."

the words shoot a prick in your chest, not expecting such a direct statement. nonetheless, you nod firmly, agreeing with her as you jog to where your team is lingering.

you may or may not have had a few...touchy altercations with a certain number five.

like in the middle of the first quarter...

------

"bueckers with the lay-up, does she get it? no! it is rebounded by l/n!"

your hands grasp the ball tightly under the net but before you can make your way over to the opposite side of the court, another set of hands on the ball stops you.

you look up to see paige also grabbing the ball as it sits in your hands, starting to fight to get it in her possession. with the two of you pulling back and forth, the refs whistle blows to put an end to the quarrel.

however, you two continue to push until one of your teammates wraps their arms around you to pull you off. walking away, you laugh, energized by the interaction. you put your hands up in surrender as kate releases you from her grip.

you turn your head back around to see that paige has also been forcefully pulled away by one of her own teammates with a similar expression on her face, clearly as equally as fired up as you.

------

and the middle of the second quarter...

------

"THREEEEEEE! Y/N L/N!"

you flex your arms and let out a proud yell. it's your fourth score of the night and you feel amazing. your teammates clamor over to you, patting you on your back and bumping you with their chests.

paige failed to block your attempt, putting her arms up and jumping but not being able to reach the ball before it falls in the net.

seeing her tough front falter for a second, you point a finger to her just to spice up the game a little more and get the crowd really going. she shakes her head and chuckles darkly, waving you off with a hand.

"did you see that? bueckers and l/n back at it again with their supposed rivalry, what a dynamic duo, am i right?"

------

time flies rapidly as the clock runs down. it's the last quarter of the game and tensions are at an all time high. with less than ten seconds left, iowa has the lead 71-69. it's way too close for comfort.

everyone's on edge. the announcers narrating the game for folks at home, coaches, benched teammates, the audience on either side of the court.

when uconn forces a turnover, you stand out of bounds waiting to pass the ball in. 1.1 on the clock. paige stands with her back to you. no one could've predicted your next move. 

you take advantage of her guard let down and quickly bounce the ball off of her, chopping the time in half as she fails to catch it in time and lets it out of bounds once again.

you feel a second of remorse once you catch the defeated look on her face. but you couldn't let the game slip out of your hands that easily. not without a fight.

less than one second on the clock, there's no way for uconn to win. caitlin passes the ball to gabbie who simply throws it high in the air to run down the clock.

the buzzer sounds as you and your teammates run into a group hug, screaming and cheering. you have a small celebration before going to the handshake line. as you pass and commend the uconn coaches and players, you allow your fingers to linger on paige's for a second longer than others.

when she meets your eyes there’s a look of hurt apparent in them, yours filled with guilt. you know how important that game was to her, to her entire collegiate career. but this game was also important to you, she had to know that.

------

your teammates insisted on celebrating at a nearby bar and restaurant, feeling high off the recent victory.

you were obviously down to go with them, but decided to take a little extra time in the locker room showers just to get some peace and quiet to yourself. you tell the girls that you'll catch up in your own car.

so now you're changing into a fresh set of clothes in a dim, empty locker room. some people might find the setting eerie but you enjoy the stillness of it all, especially after the day you've had. 

you’re wearing a basic white crop top and a muted purple skirt, a thick black leather jacket draped over your shoulders to protect yourself from the cold evening air. as you grab your backpack and make your way out to the gym’s parking lot, you spot a familiar figure wandering around aimlessly.

of fucking course i'm left here with her, you think.

you let out an irritated sigh as you continue to rub a small towel against your head to dry your hair.

the sound of your shoes against the pavement catches paige's attention and causes her to turn around. when she observes your relaxed, freshly showered figure, her chest tightens. whether it's from hatred or attraction, she doesn't know.

"hey," she yells to you, stalking over.

you look up to her direction and laugh, "you look like a lost puppy, bueckers."

"damn," she says, "first you decide to beat me and now you're insulting me and calling me by my last name? way to kick me when i'm down, y/n.”

you try not to display how flustered you feel when she says your name like that, “i didn't decide to beat you, i just did. deal with it."

"attitude much? i'm just tryna be civil, ma, no need for the hostility."

that fucking nickname.

"did you need something from me? i'm just tryna meet up with the team so spit it out."

"you heading to the bar?"

"yes," you say skeptically, "how the hell do you know that?"

"i'm heading there too, dumbass," she replies.

"what the hell are you talking about?"

"your team invited mine to hangout," of course they did, "is that a problem?"

"might be," you respond shortly, "so why are you here if the rest of your team is at the bar?"

"i could ask you the same question, l/n," she mocks the way you say her last name.

"i asked you first."

"eager to hear me talk i see." before you can reject the idea she interrupts you, “it’s okay, i know how much you love my voice."

she's not wrong, of course, but you would never admit it to her face. you ignore the question with a roll of your eyes.

"i took a longer shower than everyone else,” you shrug, “told 'em i'll just meet them there. your turn."

she laughs nervously before answering, “uh, i was actually supposed to get a ride from azzi but i guess she forgot," she says as she looks around the empty parking lot. now it's your turn to tease her.

"that's crazy," you laugh and shake your head, "your own friends don't even wanna be around you."

"man, shut up," she scoffs.

there's a beat of silence before you begin to walk to your car, getting the hint that the conversation was over.

you hear paige groan behind you before asking, "yo..do you think you could give me a ride?"

the nerve.

"excuse me?" you say incredulously as you unlock your car door and slip into the driver's seat. the blonde jogs up to your car, resting an arm on the frame of your door. you become hyper aware of how close you are, and how good she looks.

for the first time since you started talking to her, you take in her appearance. she's wearing a light blue cropped tank top, almost like a sports bra, and dark gray distressed jeans. there's a white uconn hoodie in her hands.

the amount of skin exposed makes your body heat up. the way her arms are flexed against your car makes you think back to the many times they've been flexed underneath your weight.

“can i. get. a ride.” she staggers out, like it’s painful to ask you for a favor. you take advantage of her position immediately.

“i dunno, can you?” you smirk.

“i fucking hate you, do you know that?”

“i dunno, do i?”

“dude.”

you throw your head forward in a laugh, shoulders shaking at her irritation.

“you’re so easy to piss off, i love it.”

“yeah well there’s a lot of other things about me that i know you love but we don’t have to talk about that.”

“do you want a ride or not?” you deadpan, “’cause if you’re gonna act like this all night i don’t want you at the bar, bro.”

“‘bro’? that’s what we’ve come to? that’s even worse than just bueckers, y/n.”

“just shut up and get in the car.”

“yes ma’am,” she says with a mock salute as she closes your door and jogs around the front of the car to the passenger seat.

as you turn on the engine, paige settles into the spot next to you and immediately reaches for the aux cord .

“um,” you pause, “what are you doing?”

“blessing you with my awesome music taste? what do you think i’m doing?”

“absolutely not,” you say, “my car, my rules.”

“um, no. the ‘rule’ is that the passenger chooses the playlist while the driver sets up the queue. we’ve been over this.”

“okay but,” you start carefully, “that was when we were together.”

silence.

“so do you want the ‘late night drives’ playlist or the ‘oldies but goodies’ playlist?”

“what?”

“you heard me.”

she brushes over your comment painfully fast. you had no idea why. you refuse to leave it at that.

“just put on our playlist."

more silence. you gotta be kidding me.

“i don’t-“

“don’t even try, paige, i know you still have it.”

“but-“

“don’t fight me on this. all i want is to celebrate with my team and get a drink so can you please hurry up so we can go?”

“shit,” you hear her say under her breath, “yeah.” she pushes her hips forward as she gets comfortable in the seat.

your eyebrows furrow at the reaction. this girl is so fucking complicated. you weren’t sure if you wanted to curse her out or take her right there.

———

“y/n!! you made it!” jada squeals as you walk into the bar, “and…paige? wait. are you two back together??”

“hell no.”

“definitely not.”

you and paige turn to each other.

“oookayy..” jada trails as she pulls you away from the blonde in the direction of where your team was sat.

the girls cheer your name as you take a seat next to caitlin. you can tell they’ve already had at least two drinks each.

“hey,” caitlin says with a warm smile, “you got some catching up to do. let’s go get you a drink.”

she ushers you to the bar where you are able to sit and observe the environment. the venue is fairly dark, the ceiling lights dimmed to a warm hue with a few candles on each table. the stools at the bar were a cold metal that gave you goosebumps. all the table booths have dark brown leather couches on one side and wooden chairs with intricate designs on the other.

“so,” caitlin starts after she’s ordered you a drink, lord knows what it was, “i saw you and paige walk in together. that mean anything?”

“please,” you scoff, “i’m done with her, cait, like seriously.” she stays silent, waiting for you to continue, “i mean, she’s so annoying and cocky and confusing, it’s exhausting - i hate her.”

“you sure about that?”

“yes.”

“then why do you still put up with her?”

“what do you mean?”

“i mean,” she says as the bartender delivers two of the same drink, one for you and one presumably for herself, “just stop talking to her. ignore her.”

you pause to think. “but she’s always the one starting these dumbass petty fights.”

“then don’t answer her?”

“i have to.”

“and why is that?” she eggs you on, sipping on her drink.

“because,” you sigh, “i can’t let her win.”

“or,” caitlin smirks as the two of you get up to head back to your table, “you still like being around her.”

“as if.”

“okay. tell me this then - why do you two still smile at each other like nothing has changed?”

“we almost never see them, cait.”

“no, i know but…i saw the way you looked at her today. you still like her, y/n.”

you two have returned to your seats with the rest of the team. you find yourself looking for a particular blonde (again) across the room. the uconn girls were sitting at a similar table to the one you were currently at, just on the other side of the bar.

to your relief, caitlin drops the conversation to engage in one with kate about the game. you quietly sip on your drink as you continue to stare at paige. she’s smiling - laughing - with azzi and aaliyah. you missed them. you missed her. you didn’t acknowledge it until now, until caitlin knocked some sense into you. you did enjoy being around her, mainly because it reminded you of how it was before you transferred to iowa. even though your conversations consist of constant jabs and insults, it was better than radio silence.

but you also hated it. you hated how you couldn’t be with her like you used to. you hated how you left. you hated how she treated you when you left. you hated how she acted like nothing happened. that’s why you have to win every time you’re up against her - literally and figuratively.

paige scored four three-pointers in a game? you score five. paige got six rebounds? you got seven. paige had eight assists? you had nine. it wasn’t just for yourself, it was for the media. with how they constantly have a magnifying glass on your life, you can’t jeopardize your career. so you have to be better than her.

your jaw clenches at the thought of the pressure, the expectation. you down the rest of your way too light cocktail and make your way back to the bar for a stronger drink.

“hey,” you say to the bartender, “can i get a sex on the beach, please?” he nods with a polite smile as he walks away to make your order.

“still rockin with those?” you hear an all-too-familiar voice say.

“if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” you mutter, not bothering to turn to her.

she scoffs. what is her problem now? you think.

“you’re so damn predictable,” she laughs, “it’s hilarious.”

“at least i’m reliable,” you retort, “when’s the last time you had any stability in your life?”

“when i was with you,” she says immediately.

that makes you turn your head. you are greeted with paige’s cold eyes and an unreadable expression.

“what are you doing, paige? what are we doing?” you sound exhausted.

“you tell me. i never got a good explanation when you…left.”

“i tried. you wouldn’t let me. didn’t think you wanted to hear from me after our last conversation.”

“don’t pin this on me,” she says pointedly, “you left me.”

“i didn’t have a choice, paige, you have to understand that.”

“but did you have to leave me? you know we could’ve worked it out.”

“could we have?”

she sighs. the conversation has elevated quickly. you didn’t expect her to open up like this now, to bring all of this up now. maybe it was the ambient atmosphere or the influential alcohol, or both. the man behind the bar sets your drink down on a small napkin in front of you, but you decide against going back to your table.

“so…” she says quietly, “have you been seeing anyone? i know how the fans like to twist shit, but is any of it true?”

“wouldn’t you like to know,” you laugh.

“hey, i’m just tryna gauge where you’re at right now. scope out the competition, you know how it is.”

“‘scope out the competition’?”

she shrugs.

“have you been seeing anyone?”

“have you heard that i’m seeing anyone?”

god, this girl could not give a simple answer to save her life. but two can play that game.

“maybe i have. maybe i haven’t. and maybe i’ve seen you with a certain husky named azzi?” you have no clue where you got this idea knowing damn well that they’re nothing more than friends.

“and what if i am? you jealous, ma?” they’re nothing more than friends…right?

“hilarious.”

“that’s not a no.”

“no, it’s not..” you mumble under your breath, turning away from her to avoid her burning stare.

“good.” what the hell is this girl getting at? her avoidant yet suggestive responses set something off in you. “you never answered my question.”

“i am with someone,” you lie through your teeth, wanting to get a reaction out of her.

her breath hitches, “who?” her tone is targeted with a hint of…anger?

“why do you care? you’re with azzi right?”

“i never said that.”

“but you didn’t deny it,” you point out, using her own tactics.

“i am now. i’m not with her. so who are you with?”

“i don’t need to tell you anything.”

“so you’re not with anyone?” she laughs. this girl.

“i am.”

“then tell me.”

“no.”

“fine. be like that,” and suddenly she’s pulling you up from the barstool and into a poorly-lit hallway.

“where are we going?” you demand as you two turn a corner, the only light is the distant hue from the main part of the bar.

“we need to talk about this.”

“talk about what?”

“this,” she motions between the two of you as she pushes you against a wall, one strong arm preventing you from leaving.

“there’s nothing to talk about.”

“i’m not gonna let you keep dodging this, y/n. you left me to go to whole different state with no explanation whatsoever.”

“because you ghosted me first! what was i supposed to do?”

“we were supposed to work it out. remember? when we were teammates on and off the court?”

“you shut me out.”

“because, y/n,” she sighs deeply, “i knew i couldn’t handle it if i had to say goodbye to you. i would’ve-“ she stops herself.

“you would’ve what?”

after about ten seconds of silence, she whispers, “i would’ve begged you not to go - not to leave me.”

your eyes shoot to hers, but she’s looking down at the floor. her head is almost resting against yours as you observe her adamant yet vulnerable state. you’ve never seen her like this.

from what you’ve seen online, paige seemed to have the time of her life after you transferred. you assumed that she moved on so easily, so quickly. you didn’t consider that it was all just a front.

“paige,”

“what?” she barely gets out, still avoiding your eyes.

“look at me,” she doesn’t, “please.”

her head flies up at that, “what?” she repeats.

you don’t know what to say, you just needed to see her - really see her. her eyes are filled with such clear emotion yet you can’t put your finger on what she was feeling. from her body language you can tell that she misses you. and as you realize you subconsciously put your own hand on her waist, you body is telling you that you miss her too. 

you contemplate your next move for a second, questioning if all of this is worth it. but she’s worth it. in the time you’ve spent apart from her, you grew and matured. you also realize that you need her like you need oxygen. you come to the conclusion that you always have, but it took distance and space to accept it.

not wanting to get too in your head, you smash your lips onto hers as your shoulders instantly relax. you feel paige pause but eventually melt into the kiss, moving her hands up to the nape of your neck. you bring your other hand up to her wrist, resting it there as you relish in the feeling of her lips finally against yours after almost two years. you guide her hand down to your thigh as you move to grasp her shoulders. she glides over your upper thing, riding up your lilac skirt.

she breaks the kiss for a moment, “i’ve always loved you in purple.”

before she can resume the heated kiss, you push against her and observe your surroundings. to your left is the open area you just came from, all your friends oblivious to your activities. all the way down to your right is a door leading out to the back lot and a closer door - presumably a supply closet.

you weigh out your options: do you want to stop the interaction completely, drag her into your car all the way outside, or simply shove her into the closet and have your way with her?

smirking up at her, you pull her into the closet as she laughs at your desperation but follows you nonetheless. 

yes, there were still broken pieces in your relationship. yes, you have always claimed to hate each other. but no, you weren’t leaving without her, even if you had to use handcuffs.

she was never not yours, and you were never not hers.

— leilani signing off ! ���

[the-fiction-witch]

Illusion

Media - Doctor Who (The Lodger Episode) Character - The Doctor (11th) Couple - The Doctor X Reader Reader - Y/n (Companion) Rating - Flirty Word Count - 2857

The doctor bounced around his room, jumping on the bed, still getting accustomed to his room. He had been a lodger with the human Craig for about three days and was already losing his mind pretending to be a human. Of course, The Doctor wasn’t exactly the best at being a human, unsure of the human ways and habits. All the little things that wouldn’t make him look insane so was having to check in very regularly with his human companion back in the Tardis. 

"Honestly? As if being trapped here on Earth wasn't bad enough, I'm starting to think I've gone crazy having to listen to the neighbours screaming at each other for days on end over the most mundane of things!" he complained, "How about you? I'm going to assume that you're having a much better time back at the Tardis,"

"Welcome to humanity." she giggled, "Tardis is fine,"

He sat back up and stared at the walls around him for a good five seconds before letting out another groan, he felt like banging his head against the wall, "Y/n, do me a favour and start doing something useful, I desperately need something to keep me distracted or I'm going to start screaming,"

"Why not read a book?"

The Doctor let out a frustrated sigh before he rolled onto his back and groaned loudly. He glanced over at his small bookshelf before rolling over to the edge of his bed and grabbing the nearest book on it. "I've read all of these already, and nothing that came out since has held my interest!" He flipped through the pages of the book, 

"Write a book?" 

He slammed the book shut and threw it across the room in frustration, "I'm better at doing stuff, like exploring the universe!" The Doctor suddenly perked up as an idea popped into his head "Or, I could build something, or explore some of the buildings here in the city, anything with more action than sitting on my sofa staring at the walls all night because no one here is interesting!"

"Why don't you do the human thing, order a takeaway, drink a beer, and watch crap TV?"

"Absolutely not! I think I'd rather claw out my eyes then watch old reruns of the old Eastenders, and reality TV! Give me anything else that isn't that or Love Island for the love of all time!" He shuddered at the mere thought of having to watch shows like that... He absolutely hated the idea of it

She giggled, "Well... How about I put the Tardis into a safe orbit mode, and come down? Help to sell the illusion you’re really a human if you actually interact with someone, and I'll come to keep you company we can get some food in, and have a drink," she suggested "I get to show you the fun of a human evening,"

The Doctor raised an eyebrow as he thought about it for a moment. On one hand he really hated the idea of doing any of those things, but he supposed it was better than spending a night watching Love Island of all things so he begrudgingly gave in. "...Fine! I suppose I can suffer through an evening of acting like a regular human and all the pointless things they do at night like drinking alcohol and stuffing their faces with bad food."

"All right be there in five," she rang off,

The Doctor quickly got up from the edge of his bed and quickly started tidying up the small bedroom he had to make it look like an actual human lived there. He stuffed anything that would look odd and alien underneath the blankets. A book here and there along with just some general random stuff that would give away his secret. Just a couple of minutes later he had managed to get rid of most of the things before hearing a knock at the door,

The Doctor quickly rushed towards the door, reaching it just before Craig, He put on his best happy smile and quickly opened the door up. He was greeted by the sight of Y/n in front of him, looking every bit as ordinary as him.

Y/n smiles in her little blue dress and black tights one of her usual outfits giving the doctor a hug to help sell the illusion of two normal people who knew one another "Hey!" 

"Hey! Come on in then, I was starting to get bored to death in here without you,” He quickly returned the hug, though his focus wasn't on the hug... he couldn't stop staring at her outfit, especially at the tights she was wearing ...That definitely... made things harder considering how her outfit looked with every move she made. He quickly tried to shake the thoughts out of his head and just act casually.

"uhhh who is this?" Craig asked curiously, 

"Oh! Right, this is my... er..." The Doctor glanced over at Y/n for a moment before giving a smile, "Girlfriend! Yes, girlfriend. She's my girlfriend!"

"ohh..." Y/n blushed a little not expecting that to be his excuse, "Hi, Y/n" She introduced herself to Craig the two met and had a small chat about things as people do her normal human way giving the doctor's human persona a much better chance of being believable, 

"How on earth do you put with him?" Craig laughed,

"Ohh you know... I love him" she answered giving the doctor's cheek a kiss,

The Doctor couldn't help but blush a little bit as Y/n kissed his cheek, he was very surprised by how convincing she was at pretending they were actually a couple. The entire thought of her being that convincingly believable made him feel a slight fluttering in his stomach which for someone like him...was unusual. He continued to smile, though it was a little strained from how uncomfortable he was starting to feel being around two regular humans and having to pretend he was just like one of them.

Luckily Y/n knew he was feeling uncomfortable so managed to skirt them away towards his bedroom but Craig stopped the doctor before he could follow her

"Hey, uhh look no issues with you having your girlfriend over but you know maybe... Give me a heads up next time?"

The Doctor glanced over towards Y/n before looking back at Craig and nodding his head. "Oh yes, yes. Next time I'll make sure to mention that she'll be coming over, my apologies." He gave a small apologetic smile, but he secretly just wanted to get out of that conversation and spend time in the bedroom with Y/n.

"no problem, I'm heading off to the pub anyway so... You have fun" Craig winked,

The Doctor gave a small nod before immediately heading over towards the bedroom with Y/n. Once he was inside he let out a long sigh as he closed the door and leaned back against it. "Remind me never to do something like that again! Having to act normal for so long for people is hard."

She giggled "thanks?" She sounded fake offended sitting on the bed, 

"You know what I mean!" The Doctor rolled his eyes playfully at her as he walked further into the room. He went over to his bed and sat down by her, letting out another long sigh before glancing over at her "So, since this is supposed to be a 'normal human night'... What are we supposed to do first? Watch rubbish on TV or order food that will give us a heart attack?"

"rubbish TV, order food, drink beer, and make terrible decisions" she smiled 

He glanced over at her his eyes once again drawn to her outfit and those tights again. "I really don't understand human fashion..."

she chuckled, "What about it?"

"It just looks... uncomfortable. That's all. Just look at the tights you're wearing. You've got to squeeze into them like a sausage!" He looked her up and down for a moment with a small frown on his face while still having issues taking his eyes away from the tights.

"Thanks Doctor!" She said slightly more offended,

The Doctor immediately realized his mistake and shook his head immediately, reaching out gently to take her hands into his. "No, no, no! I didn't mean you! You look lovely, really! I just... I just don't understand how it's even comfortable to wear things like that. And it makes everything so much more difficult for me to focus..."

"you wear a suit and bowtie everyday doctor I'm not sure you can really comment on comfortable outfits besides I like my tights"

"... Fair point, though in my defence those outfits are very fashionable and comfortable! And your tights are... very distracting." He gave a small laugh but he couldn't take his eyes off the way hers were wrapped around her legs as she moved.

she chuckled "You rather I take them off?" She raised an eyebrow,

The Doctor's eyes widened slightly as his mind suddenly became far more empty as the words left her mouth. He stared at her for a moment or two before he mentally slapped himself and quickly shook his head. "... No! I... That's not at all what I meant! I just... they're... distracting! That's all!"

"you are spending too much time down here" she giggled leaning on his headboard "you're becoming a bit too human..."

The Doctor leaned back onto the headboard as he took a sip of the beer, still staring at her legs and those tights. At this point he was completely mesmerized by the way they looked against her skin. "What does that even mean?" The Doctor finally managed to tear his gaze away from her legs and looked over at her, forcing himself to focus on what she was saying for once.

"you’re become predictable. Like a human man."

A look of complete shock immediately took over the Doctor's face in response to her words. He suddenly looked genuinely offended as he looked over at her. "I am not predictable! Predictable? Me? I am the least predictable person you'll ever meet! There is nothing predictable about me at all!" He glared directly at her, not at all happy with how she had labelled him. He clearly did not like being thought of as predictable in the slightest.

"you are becoming predicable down here" she smiled "you’re slowing down... Acting more human"

The Doctor's expression softened after she said that, he went silent for a few seconds, the truth of what she was saying slowly sinking in. He leaned back against the headboard and took another sip of the beer before speaking again. "Maybe... Maybe you're right. Time Lords aren't exactly used to being human. I never wanted to be human... I never wanted to think like one, act like one..." He frowned for a moment before turning his gaze to look at her.

"well it won't be long just till you figure this thing out. Then you can come back to the Tardis and we can go off wherever you need to get back to, an unpredictable, madman with a box that I love so much" she cooed laying her head on his shoulder

A small, genuine smile appeared on his face as she laid against him. He gently put his arm around her and held her close, leaning against her with a happy sigh. "Once I'm myself again, the first thing I'm going to do is take us somewhere completely unexpected. I think it's a good time to finally show you Gallifrey." A look of deep contemplation appeared in his eyes as he looked down at her. He could practically feel his heart pounding.

"... Really?!" She sat up looking into his eyes "You... You would take me there? But you always said you've never taken any companions there?" 

"Yes... I... I will. I'm going to show you my home, I never said anything but now... I want you to see where I came from." He smiled gently, his gaze not leaving her.

Y/n trembled a little tears welling up in her eyes "But... You've had so long, so many other companions you could have taken and ... It's me? I get to go?"

The Doctor nodded his head without an ounce of hesitation in him. "You! Who else would I want to show Gallifrey other than you? You matter most to me." As he continued to look at her, he could see the tears starting and that immediately made him smile even more. "I'll show you everything I can... I'll show you how beautiful the orange skies of Gallifrey are. I'll show you the mountains and the rivers. Everything."

She hugged him tight squeezing him in her arms as she cried tears of joy "Thank you thank you thank you! I promise I'll be on my best behaviour, I'll listen to everything you say, I'll be good and follow all the rules and you can pick my outfit before we go just to make sure!" She began rambling,

The Doctor hugged her back just as tight, holding her securely and smiling happily as he did. He gently pulled her onto his lap and held her against him, rubbing her back as she let out all of her emotions on him. "I'll make sure you have the best experience you could ever imagine while we're there. I'll hold your hand the entire time, you won't even have a chance to misbehave."

she nodded excitedly "okay!"

He gently reached over and brushed a few of her tears away while resting his other hand on her thigh, gently and absentmindedly rubbing her leg a bit. He looked at her and had a small twinge of guilt come to him as he finally realized just how happy she was to share in such an intimate moment with him. 

she giggled looking down at his hand "I should wear tights more often" 

The Doctor immediately realized what he was doing and shook his head, instantly removing his hand with a flustered look on his face as he leaned back against the headboard. "No! No no, I... I need to get my brain under control. Focus on something else, anything..."

She giggled grabbing his hand and putting it back on her thigh"very common human thing, to watch TV and cuddle" she smiled nuzzling into his chest 

He groaned softly as she placed his hand back on her thigh. He wanted to argue against it, but he really didn't want to. He stared at her with a slightly pained frown as he once again started gently rubbing her leg. "Cuddling is a human thing, you're right." He paused for a moment pulling her thighs a little so she sat in his lap before continuing in a mumbled tone. "Though I think I'd rather watch you instead."

She giggled a little about to speak when the bedroom door suddenly opened and in a rush of sudden thought Y/n remembered they had to look like a human couple so immediately grabbed the doctor by the neck and pulled his lips to hers immediately starting a heavy make out as if they had been doing this for hours, He instinctively put his arms around her, wrapping them around her waist and kissing her back, his tongue gently sliding into her mouth. He didn't even react as Craig opened the door, too caught up in what he was doing.

Frankly, her already being in his bed and sitting on his lap was likely enough to sell the illusion already but the kiss was just the sugar on top, 

"Ohh uhh? Sorry for interrupting -" Craig began,

After a few moments of intense kissing, the Doctor pulled away from her for a moment to catch his breath. "Hello, Craig! What's up? Can't you see we're a little busy?" The Doctor quickly said before immediately pulling Y/n closer.

"Right yes sorry just uhh going out I'll be back later. I'll lock the door." Craig nodded a little awkward

"That's fine, no worries! Have fun, we'll probably still be here all night." He quickly went back to kissing her afterwards, gently biting down on her bottom lip.

Craig nodded and shut the bedroom door heading out to go to the pub, 

The Doctor was completely caught up in the kiss, completely focused on the taste of her lips, how good she felt sitting in his lap, how wonderful those tights were still looking... His mind was going a mile a minute while his hand gently and absentmindedly started going up her thigh before he even realized what he was doing.

She blushed hard and kissed back the kisses now turning into a hot and heavy make out her voice moaned into his mouth, his mind exploded from the sound alone. He suddenly couldn’t think about anything but her, completely focused on this new feeling that was overtaking him. He deepened the kiss in response, pulling her closer and running his hand slowly up her back before gently biting down onto her lower lip.

[jeonscatalyst]

Did anything about jikooks (or vminkook if that interests you) dynamic surprise you in are you sure? I think the extent of JK's brattiness and their play-fighting did surprise me a little. I think it's because I haven't been following them beyond the music that much in solo era. Also if I compare vminkooks dynamic from say that joint live in 2021 or the live incl Hobi (in 2022 I think?), I think it's a little bit different from what we're seeing in the show. If I think about it, it does check out in many ways with regards to what they've told us but I don't think it's something we've seen this plainly before

Hey anon,

Nothing about Jikook’ or Vminkook’s dynamic surprised me much, infact I would say the boys haven’t changed at all. Jungkook has always been bratty. Literally all the members have complained about him being bratty and stubborn and as for the play-fighting (I am assuming you are talking about Jikook) that has literally always been their thing. Someone described Jikook’s dynamic as a mix of all the other duo dynamics in BTS and now I really cannot unsee it. They playfight like jinkook, bicker like yoonmin, are soft with each other like Namkook, are besties like taekook and are caring towards each other like Jihope. There is literally a mix of everything in their dynamic and that is one of the reasons why Jikook are so difficult to explain as a duo. I personally don’t have any trouble understanding the other duo dynamics of BTS but Jikook still challenges me sometimes.

It was definitely kinda new to see them bicker so much, I mean we had seen them bicker before but the other members were usually in the mix so just seeing them bicker about parking was kinda new but not really surprising to me.

As for taekook, I didn’t see anything about their dynamic that surprised me at all. They are the duo who know how to have maximum fun when they are together as they have so many things in common when it comes to personal interests so it is extremely easy for them to be in sync but they also have moments where they could come off a bit nonchalant towards each other (but this is very normal) and I have seen so many people say they have a passive aggressive energy about them but I don’t see it personally. I just think that Jungkook sometimes has his moments you know, when he doesn’t really feel like being enthusiastic about anyone (Jimin included) and Tae isn’t like Jimin who will still try to initiate interactions when Jk gets in that mood but instead Tae just kinda ignores as well or throws in some snarky comments and maybe that is why people see some passive aggressiveness but generally I think they have gotten much closer than they were a few years ago and even their emotional bond seems to have deepened a little more than before.

For Vminkook’s dynamic, I think it is pretty much the same to be honest. Like I said before, Jungkook has his bratty and soft moments with both of them and Vmin are still the two hyungs who dote on him but call him out in their own way when he starts going too far. Jungkook has a very different dynamic with both of them and it is seen more when he is with the two of them (or atleast I noticed it more). I had always known but just seeing it in play out in AYS was….interesting. I think with Tae, Jk really enjoys just doing the fun boy stuff. They both look their happiest around each other when they are bringing out the childishness out of each other and I can see why they easily connected when they were rookies. One person starts something and the other very easily goes along with it, no question asked. They are also a good example of dumb and dumber or the blind leading the blind because it seems like between the two of them, no one is the voice of reason and we all crave people who we can just be extremely silly with without overthinking anything and I guess that is what taekook are to each other and that is why Tae can call Jk and ask him to join him in Hawaii and Jk takes a 9 hour flight there, you know just for the fun of it. Unlike what taekookers would like to believe, it isn’t because Jk is in love with tae or none of that. If I had a bestie whom I usually have alot of fun with when we are together and we both like the same things and I had Jungkook money and time, I will do the exact same thing. But, just as I had said before, it just feels like the foundation of their friendship is mostly centered around the fun and shared interests, not much else. They ofcourse really care for each other and are supportive of each other as well. I thought it was extremely sweet how Jungkook immediately climbed that wall to encourage Tae when Tae was scared to jump. Those are some of the moments that show just how they get each other and how much they care about each other. Taekook as bestfriends works so well but I don’t see them working out as romantic partners and I also understand why they don’t seem to be each other’s go to person for comfort. This is because they are way too alike. They both are naturally takers so they need givers for things to balance out. That is why at some point, they both sought out comfort from Jimin who is a a natural giver and not from each other.

Jimin and Jungkook are kinda different here because even though those two also have alot of fun with each other, Jimin is actually very different from Jungkook. He isn’t as spontaneous and he thinks about everything way too much. He also likes to have a schedule or plan things out before he executes them but Jungkook takes everyday as it comes and doesn’t seem to think about things too much so because of this, Jimin is like the voice of reason but sometimes Jungkook doesn’t want a voice of reason, he just wants adventure. A good example of this is that episode from I land where Jungkook stole TXT’s food from the pantry. He was in there with Tae and while he was stealing the food, Tae just went along with it and didn’t say anything but instead just found the whole thing funny but immediately Jk went outside with the food and Jimin saw him, Jimin (as well as the other members) asked him to return the food and they even scolded him (Jimin included lol). This is how Tae and Jk are partners in crime because they both readily go along with each other’s mischief but Jimin is that voice of reason that Jk needs because Jk is very impressionable (he said it himself) so if he doesn’t have some Jimins in his life, he could easily go astray. Even though Jikook are so different, they still are so alike and they click and just get each other so well and I don’t even know how to explain it. It seems to me like they are the definition of opposites attract, ying and yang. Jimin has the light that Jk needs and Jk has the darkness Jimin craves, they balance each other out, they give each other what the other lacks, they complement each other completely. Their bond in my opinion is definitely deeper as the foundation of it much more than the fun they have when they are together. There is an underlying intimacy in their play that isn’t there in taekook’s too. While taekook just play around like 5 year olds without a care in the world, splashing around in pools or shooting at each other with water guns, there is a subtle intimacy and softness in the way Jikook play around and they are definitely more handsy with each other too. This is pretty much everything I already knew about them and it is exactly the same thing I saw so I don’t really think anything was surprising or maybe just how much Jikook can bicker, if I had to pick something lol.

So anon, I have written a ton even though you probably just wanted a shorter answer but I couldn’t help myself lol. I have a problem not expatiating as much as I can. I hope this answers your question though and if u don’t mind, I would love to hear what you thought was different about Vminkook’s dynamic from 2021/2022 and now. I don’t really think we can compare from those moments you mentioned but I’d really love to hear or read your thoughts.

[xieni-logs]

cAn i request welt, jing Yuan, dan heng, blade and maybe even caelus with an s/o who's mute (like they can't speak) but they're very expressive with emotions and usually communicates thru writing on paper?? kinda got the idea from komi can't communicate

also a lil scenario on how the men would react if someone did or say something offensive to their s/o?

HSR x mute!reader (RQ)

includes: Jing Yuan, Blade, Dan Heng, Welt

a/n: ty for your rq, anon! I actually started watching komi can't communicate since you said it, and ended up watching too much of it and writing too little lololol i made the scenario thing into someone saying something offensive about how reader is mute since we're on that topic already, hope thats ok! more a/n: I FORGOT ABOUT WELT, ADDED HIM NOW

* ˚ ✦ Jing Yuan who was initially curious behind why you couldn’t speak but no matter the reason, he wouldn't mind it. he finds your expressions cute, i mean who wouldn't? god, he can't believe anyone in their right mind could ever make a snarky remark about you. but they did, and Jing Yuan is gonna let that go easily. even if you say you're fine with that comment, he sure isn't. he doesn't go and threaten the person, instead he'll make their lives oh so annoying. they'll be denied service due to some obscure reason (a gag order from Jing Yuan; you seem to forget he's a general, he has a lot of influence), luck will never seem to be by their side either. and if they're a long-life species, well, they're in for a couple decades of annoyances. Jing Yuan isn't confrontational but he sure is petty.

* ˚ ✦ Blade originally found you being mute rather troublesome. it was a lot more work having to read your notes, and though you're fast at writing, Blade used to always complain about how slow you were at responses. but he slowly gets used to it, and in time, he finds himself enjoying your silent company. in all the chaos, Blade enjoys the comfortable silence between you two. if you want to talk, he'll read your notes and respond with nods or shakes of his head. he'll get pretty pissed hearing someone make a snarky remark on your lack of speech. there's nothing much he can and wants to do except brandish his sword at the person. after, Blade will give you a quick look of are you ok? before moving on. it's a small sweet gesture.

* ˚ ✦ Dan Heng who was neither curious nor cared about you being mute. he simply accepted it as a fact and continued. it doesn't really bother him, he has no qualms about it. but when someone says something offensive about your lack of speech, that's when he has a problem. why can't they mind their own business? he'll tell them a snarky remark before taking you away from the situation. it's not worth the trouble concerning the both of you with that person is what he'll think. Dan Heng will ask you if you're alright and assure you that what the person said is wrong. he'll make sure you know you are perfectly fine not speaking, you aren't abnormal for not speaking, and that it's part of your charm and one of the many things he likes about you.

* ˚ ✦ Welt who respects the fact you're mute. he doesn't pry into why you are but he'll listen if you want to explain. if you draw little faces on your notes to convey your expression, god, he's so weak to that. will indulge in drawing faces on your notes (smiley faces with a badly drawn thumbs up as an ok from him; it took him 5 minutes to draw that hand). he finds it unbelievable anyone would say something so passive aggressive about the fact you're mute. people can be so disrespectful! he disengages the situation and leaves, guiding you away with his arm wrapped around your shoulder. like Dan Heng, he'll reassure you that whatever was said was wrong. you'll never interact, or even see, that person again if he can help it.

[l-in-the-light]

Thanks for your answer 😊🙏 Another question that came to my mind when I read your post about Law liking boys: what do you think about the LawxRobin scenes where he tells her about his "D" (and that he trusts her) and the one after wano victory where they go to underground together?

You're welcome! Also a warning, this is another post replying to multiple asks at once :D

Law x Robin, huh. Sure, let's elaborate on it, but just so you know, my view on them differs greatly from how fandom tends to see their Wano interactions. I spent a lot of time analyzing it in my head (way more than any sane person would) so my initial reaction of "awww so cute he trusts Robin" kinda faded to almost nothing now haha. Just like I stated in that post, I think it was mostly about business. He wanted to know what the D. stands for so he approached the person who was the most likely to know some more information. Sadly, he didn't really gain any new knowledge. As much as I love that scene because it feels like Law is trusting Robin there, I think we shouldn't overestimate it in general. He basically offered a trade (I tell you my hidden name, you tell me something back in exchange - favour for a favour! It's his usual MO with strangers) and I doubt he would do that without any good reason for it. That scene has a different vibe from the one in which he shares about Corazon to Luffy, he's actually opening up and he doesn't expect anything back for it (you can argue he does that so Luffy understands fighting Doflamingo is personal for Law and to leave it up to him, but it's still just for that - so that Luffy understands. It's not a trade). With Robin he seems rather guarded when comparing the two scenes together.

I have my suspicions about their talk there. Law is using veeeery vague words when he claims he shares the info "because he trusts Robin". What he actually says is just this: "omae dakara hanashita" which means literally "I told you because it's you" and you can interpret it any way you like, Robin took it a sign of trust and thanked him, but it's so vague it can also mean something like "I tell this ONLY to you" and that smells of a hidden reason to me. But of course it fits Law's withdrawn personality to not say the words like "trust" straightforwardly, right? But in his scene with Luffy he is kinda openly emotional in contrast - he literally tells him Corazon was the person he loved who gave him his life and that he is deeply indebted to him. Law didn't use many words, but all those words carried emotional weight, unlike the vague phrase he used with Robin. But anyway it wouldn't make sense to say my conspiracy theory here without explaining loose links from Water 7. Also I'm like 50-50 on that and I really think fandom wouldn't want to get spoiled this way in case I'm right.

Their randezvous in the secret chamber doesn't strike me as romantic honestly (I know people love it just because Robin and Law are alone together and oh just few inches from each other, and interpret what Robin says as teasing, but I need more than that for romantic vibes, sorry :D). It basically starts with Robin accusing Law of being a hyena (at least that's how he subjectively felt about that! and she didn't deny) and he gets back at her for it when he shambled only himself to that window (he even keeps his sour face on when she's complaining it's unfair, he doesn't even want to tell her it's a payback haha). Yes, he's that petty. Don't you like it in him? I certainly do, he's so hilarious.

Anyway, the whole scene is just them sharing business together, and it's slightly hinted that Law was kinda eavesdropping on them before he actually joined in, that's why Robin's reaction might have been that strong and a bit hostile. Robin prides herself in being sensitive to people around and their intentions, picking up on the slightest hints other people don't (like she said in Water 7, it's her survival's instinct), but she couldn't sense Law so ofc that would rub her the wrong way. Anime especially did a great job at showing it, with Law appearing out of nowhere exactly when Robin is gonna go down the hidden stairs. A timing a bit too perfect, eh? I wouldn't call Law a hyena (he had perfectly rational reason to be there!), but he sure was so damn sneaky and smooth about it.

Anyway, I guess my point is: those two are very guarded people, both dislike to show a moment of weakness because they know it can result in deadly situation. And they're also both very business-oriented. If there was any scene between Robin and Law that showed them as closer to each other, it would be all the way back in Dressrosa.

Just look at the mutual respect they show each other here! Law isn't acting freaked out by Robin's powers (because why would he, right? His powers are also quite peculiar. But I bet that earned him extra sympathy points here. How many times Robin heard it as a child that she's a monster just because she has devil fruit's powers) but also immediately worries about Robin and Usopp's safety instead of his own. Then he sits down to talk with Robin, just so they're more or less on eye-level, that's really considerate of him, especially in such a tense/crisis situation. And at the end of their talk Robin tosses him a "good luck" (in Japanese apparently it's a different phrase, one you say before a battle), and Law says "same to you" which is the closest he ever gets to say something even slightly akin to a greeting in the whole series. Soon afterwards Robin notices the ground shaking and worries for Law, because she knows it's a sign that he's in a tough fight. This is a huge step for Robin to worry about someone she actually suspected of betraying Luffy in Punk Hazard. She was always guarded whenever Law so much as appeared on screen.

This is also a great scene between them. Robin can't understand Law's dedication to Luffy, she clearly thought Law is indeed seeing their cooperation as only business-style alliance, they share a common goal, Law shouldn't feel like he owes anything to Luffy, and so she tries to appeal to Law's sense of reason here. She does it because she's concerned about him, she reacts really strongly to see him defeated (he definitely has her respect for his strength and skills to manage crisis!), and even more concerned when she notices his severed arm. She tries to make him think straight so he takes care of himself firstmost, but it's not for herself that she's saying it: it's for Luffy. I think Robin realized in Punk Hazard already that Luffy is really attached to Law, so of couse she wouldn't want to see Luffy sad if Law loses his life here, especially not after Luffy entrusted Law to her. She must be really taken aback with Law's final answer. I wonder what she might be thinking about Luffy's importance to Law now, because I would say she kinda caught a wind or at least a hint that Law cares more deeply than it seems at first glance.

Honestly every single one of their interactions in Dressrosa is much more meaningful than anything they shared in Wano, where both of them are just honestly clamming up again. I mean, there is no battle going on anymore (they had conversations in Wano before the plan was set into motion and after the battle has ended), and fighting together tends to bring people momentarily closer. But we shouldn't forget that in daily circumenstances Robin will still keep her guard up and so will Law, because trust in an ally in a battle is different than being emotionally open to a friend. They're both smart and they're not gonna pretend that just because Luffy calls Law his friend, that for Robin alliance means friendship as well. This also stays in line with what I believe is quite realistic when two very traumatized people having issues to open up actually meet and interact. Law might know about Ohara from the newspapers desciribing Enies Lobby incident, but I doubt Robin knows about Flevance or would know to connect Law to it in any way (fics often make her almost clairvoyant how she figures him out, but nah, that's just wishful thinking). That shared traumatic experience could bring them closer, but I think for now it's mostly one-sided, because Robin has no way to know.

Damn, I had a lot to say about all of that, haha. I hope you had fun reading about their interactions from a different angle!

Personally, I think Law x Luffy dynamics work better overall.

Law x Robin:

two very traumatized people

both don't open up and keep their guards around strangers

none can cheer the other because they both have pretty gloom personalities

they like cute things

share same or similar sense of humour (though Robin's more morbid)

both very serious

both good listeners and observant

both independant

both like to tease/stress Usopp (they could form a "tormenting Usopp fanclub", they tease him out of affection ofc)

both like their peace and quiet but also to watch other people cause chaos from afar (unless someone provokes Law)

both cling to cheerful people, both remember their mentor's smile

Etc. I think they would be great best buddies in the longer run and understand each other on a special level.

Law x Luffy:

both like to cheer up people (Luffy's the ultimate person to cheer anyone up. And it brings this side of Law to the light of the day too)

both are reckless little shits liking to cause chaos and beat people up for hurting people dear to them, both don't know when to give up

friendship is a serious matter and so is trust for both of them

one constantly smiles outwardly, the other inwardly

they both know the pain of losing their most important person

one is a younger sibling, the other the older sibling personality type

they understand each other without words

take each other seriously (and almost no one takes Luffy seriously)

both are stubborn mules with competetive side

overdedicated to protect others and not care enough about their own wellbeing in the process

remind each other of people they once loved the most and which they lost

In the longer run those two will cover up for the other's weakness and could literally turn the world upside down together while laughing/smirking.

Summing it up, Robin and Law are similar souls, going side by side. Luffy and Law instead have each other's backs, complementing each other. I feel like it's really a matter of preference and I sway towards Luffy x Law, their interactions are just so fun. But I do enjoy Law x Robin, just more as a friendship. Tbh both work as friendships the best and I tend to prefer them this way. I just think the friendship Law and Luffy have going on is something extraordinary on a whole different level. They're behaving with each other in ways they don't really share with others.

I think it would. But it doesn't have to be his biological family for him to be happy, you know. Whether his partner is a woman or a man, whether his own kid or more like picked up and adopted, it would make him happy just the same. He has already his adopted family in his Hearts Pirates and Wolf. He definitely is already part of Strawhats adopted family as well. And who knows to how many other "found families" he can belong from now on! He deserves a family, he actually deserves more than one that he can call his own.

There is lately one scenario I'm especially fond of actually. If Law becomes a Strawhat officially and Bonney will be also adopted in the crew as a sort of "next generation", he would totally act like a father/older sibling towards her. Sure, he would still act annoyed, worry all the time, but deep down he would love every second of it. He could finally be a brother to a kid that reminds him of Lammy. Life denied him that before so it would mean so much for his healing progress if he could reclaim it. I think as a father he would still act a lot like an older sibling actually. The same way Cora-san is also hard to classify, was he an older sibling, a father figure, a younger sibling, a bit of each combined? Anyway, I'm sure Law would try to live up to his caretaker and return the favour to someone else.

No matter how it would happen, yes, having his family, found or biological, would make him happy. I truly believe it's that one thing in his life he truly wants. Of course, once he has one, he would be worrying and afraid of losing them. Perhaps in that case Strawhats would be his best choice; they're very strong people capable of taking care of themselves, so he could perhaps learn to believe in them, that they wouldn't kill themselves off the moment he takes his eyes off of them. He would still worry a lot and protect them, but at least maybe he wouldn't self-explode in the process. He probably still will.

Indeed it has been asked before :) but no worries, I will link you to the answer so you can read all upon that: https://www.tumblr.com/l-in-the-light/760279386040795136 Enjoy! Sadly I don't have any new thoughts regarding that, otherwise I would add some now :3 Maybe just one: it doesn't matter if it's friendship, romantic relationship, the progress would be similar in this case, or at least I believe that.

[dunmeshistash]

I can’t find it now, but you had a post about Kabru being high-masking, and you said you didn’t think he was, which is completely fair! I had a different opinion as someone who is high-masking AuDHD and wanted to share (but of course now I can’t find the post 9_9)

Personally, I read Kabru as being high masking autistic, with one critical difference between us: he’s an extrovert. I’m actually more like Milsiril than Kabru - I collect/make dolls, I’d rather be at home than anywhere else, I’ve been called creepy and weird and gloomy for all of those things, but I also learned how to mask relatively early on, so most people don’t ever get to see that side of me. For me it’s a lot of work and energy- most of the time. If I’m around people I like, it’s less so, but people in general take a lot of my energy. Kabru, on the other hand, is very extroverted. He gets a lot of energy from interacting with people, and for the most part his personality and interests are acceptable to the society he lives in. BUT his interest in dissecting people’s motivations and how they communicate and interact and how to move them in the direction he wants them to go, that’s considered overly intense and creepy even by his party. Kabru keeps a lot of his thoughts and honest reactions internal because he’s aware of how people interact and what is or isn’t acceptable. I do the same thing, and I engage in a fair bit of “manipulation” (neutral) as part of my masking - I know that asking people for advice, showing interest in their lives, complaining together about things, etc, will cause them to view me more favorably and I use that to keep myself “safe”, along with basically never talking about my interests. I’m friendly and open and helpful and I almost never fight back against anything, so people “like” me. It’s not all *fake*, but it’s not the whole truth either. I’d rather not engage in conversation at all, because I can’t talk honestly about my interests without being considered creepy- but if Kabru’s special interest is people and how they interact, to some degree he can talk about his interests without it seeming weird.

Anyways, that’s my perspective :D also thank you for being a Milsiril defender, it’s… really painful to see people calling her manipulative and superior. I know a lot of it is bc ppl DO NOT understand anyone who likes dolls as an adult but like….. liking dolls has less than nothing to do with “needing to feel superior” or in control -_-

Hello!! I collect dolls too!!! Proud to be nº1 Milsiril defender.

That's an interesting perspective! As far as I understand (I'm autistic too so I don't have personal experience to how allistic people work) everyone does some amount of masking, as in everyone has a version of themselves they use to interact with others and that "mask" usually falls when you're with people who know and understand you better

As I understand that type of mask is expected in society? Like you wont act at work the same way you do with your college friends (usually). But as some tumblr post said "we are the mask and the wearer" as in those masks are still a part of who they are.

That's why I said I didn't think Kabru was high masking, I hadn't heard that term before so I was confused

Maybe I don't fully get it but keeping some parts of yourself inside and not expressing it to people who wont understand is common among allistic and autistic people but masking is this but in a way more stressful way? Since you aren't just hiding facets of who you are you're making an active effort to hide the whole thing basically.

Kabru's mask seems to come easily to him and it doesn't seem like he makes an conscious effort to go against his nature to hide who he is that's why I said he probably doesn't do high masking in that sense. But in another sense he IS highly adaptable to the people around him and studies how people act so I understand that perspective! It's more of a personal interpretation tbh.

[andvys]

Love will tear us apart // part four 

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of ptsd, nightmares, alcohol consumption, mentions of drugs, not nsfw but still 18+, jealous and mean Eddie

Pairings: Eddie Munson x fem!reader // mentions of Steve Harrington x fem!reader

-

“So you’re still crushing on Eddie Munson?”

Your eyes widen, grip tightening on the telephone “w-what?” you exclaim, straightening your back as you sit up on your knees, the cushions of the couch soft beneath your legs.

“We have been talking for what- an hour?” 

“An hour, twelve minutes and thirty seconds to be exact.” another voice cuts in, making you furrow your brows in confusion, who is that?

“An hour, twelve minutes and thirty seconds yes-” “thirty five seconds now.” 

Jonathan sighs “anyways, we’ve been talking for over an hour and all you talked about was Eddie Munson.” 

“Who’s Eddie Munson?” you hear the voice in the background.

“Her crush.” Jonathan slurs, chuckling “he’s also a drug dealer, he sells weed and stuff.”

“What! He is not my crush!” you exclaim, making Jonathan chuckle. 

“Dude, that’s sick. I like Eddie Munson.”

“W-What- I, who is that?” you ask, feeling more confused than ever. 

“Who Eddie?” 

“What? I know who Eddie is you dumbass, who is the guy in the background?”

“Oh! That’s Argyle, he’s my friend.” 

“Dude, I’m so stoned.” Argyle says in the background. Jonathan only chuckles in response, mumbling some incoherent words.

You furrow your brows, an amused smile tugs at your lips as you lean back on the couch “Jonathan Byers, did you start smoking weed?” 

Jonathan clears his throat “yeah.”

You chuckle at the slur in his voice. In all those years you have known him, you have never seen- or well, heard him this way. 

"I never pegged you for a stoner, Jonathan.” 

“It helps me relax, you should try that too, it might help with the nightmares and the panic attacks.” 

You never actually considered it, taking something to help you with the weird symptoms you were experiencing lately. You never really considered taking medications let alone drugs in general but Jonathan was right, maybe it could actually help. 

“Yeah.. maybe that’s not a bad idea.”

“Or you could just inhale the sweet scent of Eddie Munson again-”

“Ugh shut up, I should've never told you about it.” you groan, running a hand down your face. You only told him that because you knew that he would be one of the people who wouldn't tease you for what Eddie did for you. Robin would have started teasing you relentlessly and Steve, you don't know how Steve would react considering he knows nothing of your weird interactions with Eddie. 

“Who else would you tell about it, Steve?” he scoffs.

“Who’s Steve?” 

“A dick.”

“Hey! Steve is nice.” you mumble, defending your friend. You know that he wasn't always nice to Jonathan but he changed after everything that happened with the upside down and Nancy “he is my best friend.”

“Ouch, what about me?”

“You ditched me for Nancy.” you joke, it wasn't exactly a lie. After Jonathan and Nancy became friends and later on started dating they both ditched you and Steve, that's how you and him became friends in the first place. 

You were there for him after they broke up and he was there for you when you had no one else to talk to after what happened to you. He knew of all the things that went down so you didn't have to lie and make up some bullshit story about running away from home the way you were forced to do with other people who approached you after you came back to school. 

“Speaking of Nancy- how are things between the two of you?”

“Uh good, I think.” he mutters “she’s applying to the same college as me.” he says, with a weird tone in his voice.

You raise your brows, “you don't sound too happy about it.” you point out.

“Well-”

“Dude not this again, this is stressing me out please don't talk about your girlfriend again- hey he has been talking about her all day.” his friend, Argyle, complains into the phone causing you to laugh. 

“Shut up- yeah let’s not talk about it. What about you, are you applying to any colleges?”

You sigh, staring blankly at your wall, you haven't really thought about it, your mind was taken over by anxiety and all the trauma you apparently haven't processed yet. Your grades were dropping too and you were certain that you were going to repeat senior year. 

“Uh- I don't know, I have a feeling that I’m not gonna make it.” you mumble “this year, I mean, my grades don't look good right now.” 

“Oh, how's that? You were always one of the best.”

“I don’t know, my mind is kinda- I’m just struggling.” you mumble. You know you don't have to hide your feelings when you talk to him even though you aren't as close as you used to be, you still tell each other everything.

“I’m sorry, y/n.” he speaks softly. 

“It’s okay, hey- uh how is Will doing?” you ask, you know he struggled more than you did after what happened.

“He’s good! He’s doing better here. I think moving away from Hawkins was good for him, maybe you should do that too.” 

“Yeah.” you trail off as you look at the large clock on your living room wall, the ticking sound getting too loud all of the sudden, making you feel anxious for some reason the longer you look at it. 

The ringing of your doorbell startles you. You blink, shaking your head, you look out the window, just now noticing the car in your driveway. 

“Oh shit, I gotta go, Steve’s here.” you mumble as you lean down, grabbing the boots that you picked out earlier, you put the phone between your shoulder and your ear so you can put your shoes on.

“Right, careful with the drinks, you might run into a certain someone and confess all your darkest secrets to him.” Jonathan chuckles. 

You shake your head at his words “there won't be any confessions tonight.”

“Tell me about it tomorrow and hey, Munson might be there, maybe you can buy some weed or ask for more cuddles.”

“Oh shut up, we weren't cuddling.” 

He laughs at your words and you can’t help but chuckle as well “I gotta go. Tell the fam I said hi.”

“Will do, have fun and don't get too drunk.” 

“Okay dad.” 

You rush towards the front door after hanging up the phone, looking at yourself in the mirror one time before you open it. Steve is leaning against the doorframe, a smile on his lips that widens when he sees you. 

“Hi.” you smile as you open the door further. 

His eyes widen as he looks you up and down “hi.” he smirks, licking his lips “y/n, I didn't think it was possible for you to get even prettier but wow.” he breathes, a slight blush on his cheeks as he stares at you.

“Pfft, look at yourself, you’re the pretty one here.” you say, trying to hide the flustered expression on your face. He is your best friend, you’re used to his flirting and teasing but he still manages to make you flustered every single time. 

“I guess we’d be a pretty couple, huh?” he smirks, his brown eyes staring right at you. 

Your lips part in surprise as you look into his eyes “I-”

“Hey dingus! Stop flirting, let’s go!” Robin shouts after rolling down the window in his car.

Steve rolls his eyes at her, flipping her off, making you chuckle. Robin mumbles something in the background as she looks at the two of you. 

“Okay, let’s go.” he smiles at you.

“I’m definitely getting drunk tonight.” you mumble as you grab your jacket before stepping out of your house. You didn't really like going to parties and you didn't really drink much either but after the awful and stressful days you’ve been having, your mind was just begging you for a short break from both the anxious thoughts and him. 

-

Eddie hated nothing more than parties, the awful music that blares through the house, the annoying drunk people who are either to giggly or too aggressive only cause him to roll his eyes every few seconds, he can’t wait to go home, listen to actual good music and just relax while reading his favorite book for the 100th time. He wasn't here for the fun of it though, he was here to make a couple of deals, the jock that invited him was nice enough for Eddie to agree. Both him and Wayne could use more money, but not even an hour in and he wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow him up.

Until you showed up.

He straightened his back, pushing himself off the wall as his eyes lock on you. He drowns out every noise, blind to everything else in the room, all he sees is you. His eyes widen slightly. You look so pretty. You always do but something about tonight has him frozen in place. You wear your hair differently tonight, you ditched your usual clothes for a pretty dress, a short one too, an oversized denim jacket thrown over your shoulders, a smile tugs at Eddie’s lips, his eyes soften the longer he stares at you, he ignores the weird feeling in his chest he always seems to feel whenever he looks at you or whenever he’s around you. 

He gulps as he eyes you up and down, a soft smile is resting on your lips as you look around the room. He hasn't seen you since the day he drove you home after you almost passed out in the bathroom. You haven't been to school ever since that day and he felt guilty and horrible for the way he treated you after you thanked him for what he did, especially after he witnessed your weird interaction with your brother. He wanted to apologize the next day but you didn't show up and the day after that you didn't show up either but he kept waiting for you, looking around the cafeteria in hopes that he would spot you somewhere but you were nowhere to be found, he walked past your lockers after every class but you didn't show up, for a moment it reminded him of the time you went missing but seeing you here now, puts his mind at ease. 

Something pushes him to go talk to you, to ask if you’re okay, to tell you how pretty you look but just as he takes the first step, someone else walks in, coming up behind you. Steve. He snakes his arm around your waist, pulling you into his chest, he kisses your cheek, you giggle in response as you look up at him.

Eddie’s heart drops at the sight, the soft smile falls from his lips and he watches the two of you with a scowl on his face. Fuck, why does it hurt so much to see you so happy with him. 

Steve grabs your hand and pulls you further into the house. Eddie’s eyes follow you trying to see more of you. He notices the lack of his bandana around your wrist and for some reason it saddens him. He liked seeing you wear something that belongs to him. He notices something else though, a bruise around your wrist that wasn't there before, was it from when your brother grabbed you? Anger welled up in his chest at the thought of someone hurting you. 

He spent many moments thinking back to your interaction with your brother. Was he hurting you? Was he the one who gave you those scars?

No. What Eddie had witnessed was purely just a fight between siblings who don't get along, right?

Feeling someone’s eyes on him, he turns back and finds Robin staring at him with a knowing smirk on her face, she chuckles as she walks towards him, turning to look at a girl who walked past her before she turns back towards Eddie.

“Hey.” she smirks. 

“Hi?” Eddie looks at the girl with a curious look in his eyes.

“You are pretty obvious you know?” 

Eddie raises his brows “what do you mean?” for a moment he thought she was talking about him making drug deals but it wasn't a secret so he didn't care about being obvious about being here for only, this. 

Robin chuckles, looking down for a moment before she raises her head again “your not so small crush on y/n.” she says as she leans closer to him as she looks around. 

Eddie gulps, eyes widening as he grows flustered, he shakes his head wildly “me? crushing on y/n? that’s bullshit.” he scoffs. 

Robin throws her head back, laughing at his words “yeah, you’re right, it’s total bullshit cause it’s not even a crush at this point, you are totally in love, dude!” she chuckles. You and Eddie might be the most oblivious people she has ever seen and met, you both aren't aware of your feelings, well, maybe you are but you keep denying it to both her and yourself but Eddie, Eddie is totally oblivious to his feelings, he won't even admit it to himself but she sees the way he looks at you when you aren't looking. He is the epitome of heart eyes. 

He opens his mouth to say something but Robin cuts him off, holding her finger up “Ah! No need to deny it, it’s written all over your face, just like the jealous look on your face when you saw her with Steve.” 

Eddie just scoffs as he crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back against the wall. 

Robin chuckles at the blush on his face, she has never seen him so flustered before, his cheeks are almost as red as the solo cups on the table next to him. 

“I’m not in love with her.” he scoffs, a frown on his face as he shakes his head once again. 

“Are you trying to convince yourself right now or..” 

He gives her a death glare causing her to chuckle again. 

“Anyways, you could like stop being a dick to someone who actually likes you and cares about you and maybe try to talk to her like a normal person instead of watching her like a creep and then saying the meanest shit to her because you are afraid of your own feelings.” Robin takes a deep breath after her short ramble, grabbing one of the solo cups, she nods at him before walking off. 

Eddie’s eyes widen, cheeks getting even redder now. You like him and care about him? What a bunch of bullshit “what feelings?” he mutters to himself.

Robin’s words echo in his mind for the majority of the night. Eddie had a hard time understanding his own feelings. Most of the time he was in denial when it came to anything complicated and it seemed to get worse when it came to you. 

One thing he was certain of; he hates seeing you in pain, he hates seeing you sad and scared. His heart ached in his chest when you were having a breakdown on the cold and dirty bathroom floor. Holding onto him for dear life, crying into his chest as you tried to breathe. He wanted to protect you more than anything, it hurt him to see you this way but it also hurt to see you so happy with someone. All night he had to watch you dance and laugh with Steve and Robin, now he didn't mind Robin, he doesn't know much about her but he likes her. Steve is a different story, he hates him. He doesn't know whether it’s because of his perfect status or if it’s because he has that one thing that Eddie can’t have? He doesn't know. 

That ugly jealous feeling inside of him, grew more and more, it was burning in his chest and he felt angrier throughout the night, Steve had his hands on you all goddamn night, on your waist, on the small of your back, holding your face as he kept kissing your cheeks, holding you against him as you both danced and you, you did nothing to stop him. You giggled every time Steve pulled you into him, trying to kiss you. At one point he even had his hands on your ass while you were dancing. 

His hands balled into fist and his jaw was clenched in anger, he couldn’t focus on anything but you and that happy smile on your face as you leaned into his touch. God, he hates you right now.

His eyes meet Robin’s again, the same look on her face as before, she knows, of course she does, the jealousy and the anger was anything but subtle.

Suddenly her eyes widen as she looks at something next to Eddie, a mix between a warning and a teasing look in her eyes. 

Eddie’s brows snapped together as he turned his head to see what she was looking at. It’s you, you abandoned Steve and were now walking towards him, a happy look in your eyes, the same soft smile on your lips as before. Your denim jacket was long gone allowing him to see more of your black dress, his eyes fall to the necklace around your neck, a simple silver chain, it reminds of something he owned once. He eyes your wrist, seeing the bruise more clear now, he could see the fingerprints, yeah, it was definitely from where your brother grabbed you. As if he wasn't angry already, seeing this filled him with more rage. 

“Eddie, I’m so happy to see you-” you speak over the loud music, your voice and the look in your eyes give away your drunken state “y-”

“What the hell do you want?” Eddie asks, rolling his eyes at you. He didn't mean to sound so rude but he was angry and pissed off already and now you out of all people came to speak to him. 

“I uh-” you mumble, looking around uncomfortably, you almost sobered up immediately “w-what are you up to?” 

Eddie glares at you as he meets your eyes “working and it’s a bit hard when you’re standing here so..” he mumbles, waving you off. 

You blink, the soft and happy expression on your face slowly falls and is replaced by something else, sadness? Disappointment? Whatever it was, it made Eddie feel guilty right away. 

“Right, uh- I’m gonna go.”

“Yeah you should.” Eddie speaks coldly.

You purse your lips, nodding at his words, you chuckle to yourself as you turn to walk away, you feel stupid for even thinking that you could have a normal conversation with him. 

Eddie stares at your back, dread settles in him, he knows it’s wrong to treat you this way, he feels horrible every time he does but for some reason he continues to treat you like shit every single time.

You stop and stand there for a moment before you turn back around, your eyes meet his and he watches you curiously, eying the confused look on your face “why do you hate me so much, Eddie?” 

The question has him taken aback. He stares back at your sad expression, all the happiness taken away from you again, god he feels so horrible. He hasn't seen you genuinely happy in a long time and the moment you were finally able to loosen up a little, especially after what happened a few days ago- he ruined it again.

You wait for him to say something, arms by your sides, your shoulders slumped as you wait and wait. You sigh, why do you even bother?

“Y/n, I-”

“Hey man, heard you were selling tonight.” 

You roll your eyes at the interruption. 

Eddie sighs, closing his eyes for a moment, he huffs in annoyance as he opens his eyes again “yeah, how much do you want?” he mumbles, looking at the guy in front of him. 

You stand back for a moment and stare at Eddie, he hates you and there's nothing you can do to change it, you tried to once but it was a lost cause, he would always hate you and you would always care about him. How couldn’t you? He saved your life, you wouldn't have made it without him but he doesn't know that and he never will.

You shake your head, ripping your gaze away from him, you turn around and walk away from him. You are too sober for this and you can feel the anger rising inside of your chest, it isn't directed at Eddie, no, you could never be angry at him but you are angry at yourself, for being so stupid, for caring about someone who hates you with every inch of their being. 

Eddie looks over the jocks shoulder, staring at your back as you walk into the kitchen, he wants to call out to you, tell you to wait so you can talk but he gets cut off again as another guy approaches him. Eddie sighs in annoyance as he looks at him, he recognizes him from math class, he would always sit in the back with him and talk Eddie’s ear off. 

“Fuck.” he mumbles, knowing that he won't be able to make a quick escape, he would try to avoid him but knowing that he’s one of the stoners who would buy the most, he’d be pretty stupid to run off when he could make a good deal right now even when he has to sacrifice his nerves and listen to a bunch of shit he doesn't care about. 

-

He finds you in the kitchen almost an hour later, you’re leaning against the counter, downing a drink swaying a little.

Where the hell is your stupid your boyfriend?

He huffs as he stares at your drunken form. He doesn't doubt that you have been downing one drink after the other since he last saw you, you looked tipsy earlier but now you look absolutely wasted. 

He watches as you throw the now empty cup down, reaching for another one.

Eddie shakes his head, rushing towards you “hey, I think that’s enough.” he says, grabbing the drink out of your hand. 

“W-What the hell?” you mumble as you look at the cup that’s been ripped out of your hand, staring at it in confusion before your eyes move up, looking into his eyes, the concern his eyes is impossible to miss, it makes you angry, why does he look at you like that when he hates you so much? 

“What the hell do you want? Didn't you tell me to leave you alone? I did, so fuck off.” you slur, glaring at him as you reach for a new cup but Eddie takes that one away too, putting it down. 

“You’ve had enough y/n.” Eddie warns, looking down at you, under different circumstances he might find the pout on your face amusing but the hurt and angry look in your eyes was anything but funny to him. 

“N-No, I don't think so.” you mumble shaking your head, you were drunk but not drunk enough to forget. 

“But I think so.” Eddie argues, pushing the cup away as you try to reach for it again. You groan in annoyance, glaring at him as you cock your head to the sight, staring at him, you blink, eyelashes fluttering, your lips are set in a pout. They look so kissable right now and you look so goddamn cute. A blush settles on Eddie’s cheeks at his thoughts. 

You lean against the counter, looking him up and down, he swapped his hellfire shirt for a washed out Metallica shirt, he’s wearing his signature leather jacket and his denim vest, he looks so good. “I like your shirt.” you blurt out. 

“You do?” he asks surprised. 

“Yes, I love their new album.” you smile. 

Eddie’s eyes light up, a smile tugs at his lips. Lucas did tell him that your music taste was similar. 

You take a step closer as you eye his necklace, reaching up to touch the guitar pick, Eddie’s breath hitches in his throat as you look up at him through your lashes “I- I like this, too.” you mumble, playing with the guitar pick. 

“Yeah?” Eddie whispers nervously. You have never been this forward with him, you always kept your distance, it was him who initiated the closeness of your bodies. In school, when he’d sit next to you, at the bar when he’d come close enough to feel your breath on his skin, in the bathroom at school when he held you- but it was never you, you never came this close to him. 

“Yeah.” you nod, the look in your eyes is so intense as you gaze into his brown eyes- it’s almost as if you are trying to read his thoughts, like you’re trying to take a look into his mind, like you’re trying to see his soul, trying to figure something out. You blink, looking away for a moment before your eyes return to his, you fingertips graze his chest and you look down at your hand. You want to touch him, to hug him again but you can’t. This is still Eddie, the same Eddie who hates you. 

You clear your throat, pulling your hand back again, you look down and you reach for the drink again.

Eddie groans in annoyance, pushing it further back again “I told you, you’ve had enough, y/n.”

“I’m not even drunk.” you exclaim, your eyes darting between him and the drink. 

“Uh- yes you are.” he grumbles. 

You roll your eyes at him and scoff, staring right into his eyes as you take the cup that Eddie put down, you manage to take a few sips before it’s taken away from you again, he slams it on the counter, spilling some of the liquid “stop it, you’re being a brat.” 

You hold your breath as you keep your eyes on him, the slight rasp in his voice made your stomach flutter, the look in his eyes didn't help either, why does he have to be so attractive? 

You reach for the cup again but Eddie grunts in annoyance, grabbing your wrists gently, he tugs you forward causing you to slam into his chest “I swear to god, y/n, stop. You’re only making it worse for yourself.” 

You snort, ignoring the way it feels to be pressed up against his body “and why the hell do you care? Oh and I still want an answer, why do you hate me so much, hmm?” 

Eddie gulps as he eyes your face slowly, he’s still holding your wrists in both of his hands, your chest is pressed against his and you are so close, even closer than the last time, your lips are only inches away from his. 

His heart flutters in his chest as your eyes flicker to his lips before they return to his eyes. Eddie breathes shakily, what does he even say? There is no answer to your question, there is no reason for him to hate you. He doesn't even hate you. Robin was right when she said that he is scared of his own feelings but he isn't about to admit that to you. 

You shake your head at him, of course he wasn't going to say anything. You think about what Robin said in the cafeteria a few days ago. 

Eddie’s eyes flicker down to your lips for a mere second, you would have missed it if you didn't stare at him as intently as you did, his pupils dilating the longer he stares at you it caused a wave of fury to crash through you. You have seen him look at you this way before. He either looked at you with anger and hatred in his eyes or with lust, like he wants to rip your clothes off and fuck you right then and there, was this the only thing you were good for? 

You don’t know whether it’s the alcohol in your system or the anger that is cursing through your veins that push you to say the next words. 

“Is it because you can’t have me? Because you can’t fuck me?” Something in the back of your mind was screaming at you to stop knowing you would regret it all in the morning, if you can remember any of this.

Eddie took in a sharp breath, staring at you in shock with his big brown eyes.

“Why else would you hate me? I-I never gave you a reason to.” you pause, drawing in a long breath “I was a-always nice to you but you treated me like shit, right from the start but why?” 

You didn't even notice how tense you were until you finally asked him the question that has been on your mind for years. 

Eddie stiffens, his heart is racing, his palms are getting sweaty against your skin as he stares at you, he didn't expect this. It doesn't help that you are standing there, completely pressed against his body with your short dress that leaves nothing to his imagination. Just a few days ago, you were sitting on the counter with your skirt riding up your bare thighs, making him all nervous and god, he feels like a creep for looking at you that way but fuck, you are perfect.

“Do you want to fuck me, Eddie?” you ask him with anger in your voice. 

His eyes widen even more, you press yourself even tighter against him and he is certain that you can feel him, all of him. He hates how much he loves it, the feeling of your body against his, he has spent far too many nights laying awake thinking of you in ways he would never actually get to have you. 

His lips are parted as he stares at you in surprise. 

You lean in closer and for a moment he thinks you’re about to kiss him but instead you stand on your tippy toes and lean in to whisper something in his ear, your lips brush against his ear lobe. 

“Fuck.” Eddie mumbles quietly, clenching his jaw. The feeling of your lips on his skin is something he will never be able to forget. 

“I’d let you.” you whisper. 

You will truly hate yourself tomorrow morning but right now, you don't care about anything. 

“If that means you’d hate me less.” 

You should have listened to Jonathan when he told you to be careful with the drinks. 

Eddie clenches his jaw, he pushes you away gently, he feels as though you are mocking him, you came to this party with Steve, your boyfriend and yet you are here with him, saying all these things to him you don't mean. He knows exactly what you are trying to do, you want to hurt him, mock him, give him a taste of something he can never have. 

“Stop that.” he says through gritted teeth as he pushes himself away from you, the hateful glare in his eyes returning as the concern slowly slips away.

You stare at each other for a moment, both quiet, both breathing heavily. Eddie tries to stop himself from saying something he will regret later on and you, you just look like you want to run away so you don't have to listen to the hurtful words that he is about to throw at you. 

He feels so angry all of the sudden, your words would have flattered him if things were different but you didn't mean what you said. You were playing with his feelings. You would never fuck him, you would never touch him, not the way that he wants you to at least. 

“I don’t want to fuck you.” he spits.

“I don't want to touch you.” he lets go of your wrists, not caring about the hurt look on your face right now. 

“I don’t want to see you.” 

“I don't want to hear your fucking voice.”

“I don’t want you anywhere near me okay? You wanna know why I hate you?” 

Lies. It’s all lies but Eddie can’t stop himself. His eyes are burning, his throat feels like it’s gonna close in on him, everything in him is screaming at himself to stop but he can't. 

You take a step back from him, his sudden outburst leaves you with a nervous and anxious feeling in your stomach, digging your nails into your palms, you clench your jaw as you straighten your back, fighting back your tears.

“I just fucking do, I can’t stand you, y/n, there's no reason, I just hate you.” and he hates himself even more in that moment, he’s lying to you and he's lying to himself and he’s running away from his feelings. 

You bite on your lower lip to keep it from trembling, you stare at him almost in disbelief. You nod, your breathing quickens and you suddenly feel lightheaded again, the same feeling you have felt a few days ago flooding through your body. 

You tear your eyes away from him, you need to get away from here, away from him. You reach for the drink again and this time he doesn't stop you, you down it in one go, throwing the empty cup away “thanks for your honesty.” you mutter weakly, turning away from him but before you can walk away, he grabs your elbow gently and pulls you back “y/n-”

You rip your arm out of his grasp, didn't he just say he doesn't want to touch you? 

“Don’t fucking touch me, Eddie.” you mumble angrily, you look up at him “I’ll make it easy for you okay? You don't have to see me anymore, you don't have to be around me and you certainly don't have to touch me.” you spat, looking at him through your tears, you take a deep breath, you want to walk away but something in the back of your mind is screaming at you to stay, to confront him further as you notice the guilty look in his eyes.

He is so irritating, perhaps the most irritating person you have met, he says the cruelest things and then he looks at you like some sad puppy and you hate it.

“You hate me? Okay.” you nod, wiping your tears away in anger “then stop saving me, Eddie. You are only making it harder for me.” you exclaim with a shaky voice. 

Eddie’s eyes dart from one place to another, he knows you are talking about the incident at the bar and the panic attack he helped you through a few days ago but somehow, it feels as though you are talking about something else. 

“I’ll stay out of your way s-so please, please, do the same for me instead of giving me false hope and breaking my fucking he-” you sniffle, pausing, you take in the shocked expression on his face at your words. 

He speaks your name softly but you don't give him the chance to say anything else, you just shake your head and walk past him, rushing out of the house, using the backdoor in the kitchen. 

Eddie turns around, staring at the door you just walked through. There are so many things running through his mind right now, so many questions but above it all there's the voice in the back of his mind that is telling him to go after you and he does after a moment of just blankly staring at the door, he rushes out of the kitchen, following you out. He knows he shouldn't have, he should leave you alone after what just happened but he can’t. 

He calls out to you as he spots you standing in the driveway. It’s freezing outside and you aren't even wearing a jacket. 

“Y/n! Hey..” he walks towards you, repeating your name but you are standing there, not moving, you’re almost stiff “you’re gonna freeze to death.” he complains, about to take his jacket off as he walks around you “listen, I’m-” his words get caught in his throat, “what the- y/n?” 

Your usual warm eyes, the color in them gone, instead it’s replaced by a milky color. 

Eddie gulps, he looks around, seeing if anyone else is out here but it’s just the two of you. He puts his hand on your shoulders “hey, y/n.” he speaks softly to no avail. 

“What the fuck..” he whispers, he shakes you softly “y/n!”

You don't react to his touch or his voice, you remain the same. A gust of wind blows through the dark streets at the same time as one of the street lights start flickering. A shiver runs down Eddie’s spine as he turns to look around, eying the street light closest to the two of you. His brows are furrowed in confusion, he has seen this before, the lamp in his bedroom would flicker every night a few days in a row but that was two years ago and it stopped ever since. 

“I-Is this some sort of panic attack?” he mumbles as he turns back to you, knowing you won't answer him anyways “come on, sweetheart.”

Thunder rumbles in the distance and lightning flashes through the sky as the rest of the street lamps start flickering. 

He takes your face in his hands, tilting your head up “y/n, wake up!” he slaps, your cheek softly “fuck.. please wake up, y/n!” he almost yells, eyes widening with fear, his heart jumps as the wind grows stronger, the lights flicker faster. 

He looks around, confused and scared as he looks back down at you. He doesn't know what’s going on, he doesn't know what the flickering lights have to do with the state you are in but he knows, he knows something is very wrong. 

He doesn't know what else to do, he doesn't know how to snap you out of the state you are in so he does what he did last time, hoping that it will help the way it did last time. He pulls you into his arms, gently moving his arms around you as he cradles the back of your head against his warm chest. His heart is beating against his ribcage, his eyes clouded with fear and worry. He holds you tightly, rubbing your back softly. 

“Fuck.” he whispers, there's something eery in the air, he can feel it, he can see it, it’s right in front of his eyes. 

“Please, please wake up.”

-

taglist: @prettyboyeddiemunson , @inject-memes , @twdimagining , @littledemondani , @wroteclassicaly , @pagesfalling , @boomhauer , @care-4-you , @ashwhowrites , @iamaslutforcoffee , @fieldofsecretss , @haylaansmi , @slutformurdock , @l1fe-1z-p3achy , @tayhar811 , @timetravelassasin , @phantomxoxo , @paprikaquinn , @marianita195 , @bambi-munson , @harrys-tittie , @eddies-lover , @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl , @arioneway , @vampirestookmydoubts , @sushiirestaurant , @killjoy36154 , @avocadotoastwithegg , @miss-celestial-being , @squirrelgirl23 , @ms1oftheboys , @kittykaylat1987 , @thesnoweclipse , @beep-beep-sherlock , @sav7689 , @ogoc-19 , @linkpk88 , @urmomgov , @magnificantmermaid , @sallyp-53 , @dumbblonde1630 , @zucchinimalfoy , @mrsdollardog , @that-girl-is-a-psycho , @ihavebecomesomething , @sashaphantomhive , @slightlyvicked , @lolilkkk , @copycatkillerfics , @crazykidsdontmelt , @fujiwaradivebar , @siriuslysmoking , @littlefreak04 , @somerandos-world , @munsonsuccubus , @eddiemuns0nl0ver , @depressedacidtest , @heyhowareyaxd , @smexylittleswine , @georgiapeaches-world , @tlclick73 , @michaelfuckinglangdon , @sammararaven , @aliceheart247 , @eddiemunson95 , @lunatictardis , @broccolisoupy , @emokid-ellie , @wonderful-outcast , @idkidknemore , @ilovecupcakesandtea , @untoldshortsofthefandoms , @hannahdinse8 , @nojamsonmytoast , @spideyycents , @gaawdblesssmissamurricah , @ayla-sprague , @leahthesith , @bhavanti , @ninapengbrev , @aftermidnightwriting , @quartzneyy , @sad-darksoul , @gaia-simp , @daydreamerblues , @heyjudemunson , @bitchyseawitch , @toobsessedsstuff , @livasaurasrex , @clilxlx , @asortedtastyalmonds , @corrodedcorpses , @likeficsinthewnd , @let-love-bleeds-red , @peachypie97 , @princess-eddie , @invade201177 , @groupie-love-71 , @b-irock , @crazyjenny8675309 , @eyenyuh , @tiannamortis , @ilfmlsm , @idagafboutyou , @anadlr , @n3rdybirdee , @mortuaryminx , @hazzaismyreligion , @bellevsoares , @lovysstuff , @urallidjits​ , @srapalestina​

[50shadesofoctarine]

Why you should write that AO3 comment:

Hello! I am an AO3 author and professional fandom dipshit. This is an "essay" on why you should leave that comment on the fanfic you just read.

Table of Contents:

"Commenting is too much effort!"

"I don't know what to write!"

Do you want more fanfic?

Fan creators are human beings, not AI content generators.

You can count it as charity work on your metaphysical taxes.

"Commenting is too much effort!"

Yes, writing a comment takes energy. I'm an introvert, I get that. I have two counter arguments to this point.

AO3 comments are not the SAT:

This is a comment from my latest fic, Quantum Entangled.

Three words and a heart. It requires zero consideration, it isn't specific to the fic, it's something you could copy-paste, even. A comment like this is better than nothing. I'll let my reply from AO3 explain why:

"You know what, I appreciate this way more than you'd probably expect. The temptation to lurk is a strong one, both for social anxiety reasons and internet content-consumption culture reasons. But when people lurk, I can't tell that they've enjoyed the story. The more people that lurk instead of interacting, the more I assume that my work wasn't good enough, irrespective of the reader's actual feelings. So this was a very welcome comment to read. Thank you for indicating your enjoyment. I will endeavour to write more stuff for you to lurk on in the future. :)"

A comment like this, one that is as thoughtless and low effort as possible, is still a comment. Something that denotes a reader's interest. Because, and I can't be clear enough about this, I HAVE NO OTHER WAY OF KNOWING THAT YOU LIKED IT. Kudos and comments are my only window into the reader's experience.

Sure, I'd love more detailed and thorough comments on my work, but, if that expectation is the thing that's going to stop you from commenting at all, I'd prefer the bland copy-paste appreciation.

Onto my second argument.

Do you know what also takes effort? WRITING THE DAMN FIC:

You do not get to complain about being forced to type a congratulatory handful of words after reading that 200k slow-burn fantasy au. Do you know how many hours went into that thing? Do you? Because I can guarantee that it was A LOT. All that writers are asking for is a single emoji. A kudos, at the very least. Consider the effort that went into the creation that you've just experienced and give just a thimble full of it back.

Authors lay out a feast for you to devour. They're only requesting a "thank you".

"I don't know what to write!"

Like in the previous example, an AO3 comment can be as simple as three words saying that you appreciated it. Just an acknowledgement that you were there. It doesn't have to be fancy.

But if you want fancy...?

Here's one of my comments, from Tishae's Better Together.

Let me break it down for you.

"Stunning. This au is so well developed. I love how you managed to maintain tension after the point that they discover that their feelings are requited. This was brilliantly paced, and the action (esp the ending) was so engaging."

The comment opens with appreciation. (Think of it as a sandwich with love as the bread. It starts and ends with my enjoyment.)

There are specific details about what I liked.

"If I may ask, what was the crime that the Metatron committed? Maybe I'm bad at reading between the lines or maybe I missed something, but I'm really curious as to what dirt they have on him. Victimless? Bad enough for imprisonment, but not so morally reprehensible as to make Anathema reveal it? Did he embezzle? That's all I can really think of."

Continues with a specific question about the story and plot.

Shows that I was critically engaged and actively considering the story.

You don't have to have questions about every fic that you read, but don't be afraid to ask them if you do. I love it when people ask me about my work.

"Thank you for the delicious food. I honestly thought that you were going to have Crowley's final look be something in grey (black and white being the theme of the show, metaphorically representing separation/binary, so Aziraphale was uncomfortable with it due to the implications. Grey, symbolising unity/shades of grey as an idiom, would then be the biggest middle finger to the Metatron) but I do really like what you came up with."

Gratitude.

Thoughts about how I read the plot. (This is something I particularly love to read as an author. Please tell me what's going on in that funky lil' brain of yours!!)

"I'm hoping this comment provides plenty of dopamine. If the task activation and instant gratification parts of your brain light up, you might be more likely to write GO content again. Love your work, thanks for sharing it. I hope you gain 3 inches of metaphorical dick length. Please keep writing."

Encouragement to keep writing. (This is the best way to ensure that creators remain in the fandom)

A funny comment to sign off.

Now that you know what to comment, let's start on the real reasons why you should.

Do you want more fanfic?

Fun fact! Fanfictious Authoria are a species that sustain themselves entirely on a diet of brain worms, unfinished WIPs, and kudos. As one of the three fundamental food groups, removing kudos from the fandom ecosystem causes a complete collapse of the natural order. In times of unprecedented scarcity, entire populations of Fanfictious Authoria can die out completely. This means that the production of fanfiction, in that particular region of fandom, stops entirely, often causing major ecological damage, and the subsequent deaths of fan species in the same genus. (Like the Fanfictious Artia, or the Fanfictious Editour, both of which subsist on fanfiction based diets to survive.)

In conservation efforts, experts are imploring readers to donate kudos and comments toward any fandom region that they want to stay alive.

But I digress.

When I want more content, I tell the author. Ask and you shall receive; it's the best way to convince an author/artist to make more.

My comment on @mrghostrat's And They Were Streamers

You liked it? Then COMMENT! Not for the author's sake, but for your own. You want to see the ending of a WIP? Well, it'd be a terrible shame if the author gave up on it because they thought no one was reading... They don't know that you enjoy their work until you TELL THEM. They're not psychic, you have to help them hear you. Commenting on the things you like influences the creators of said things to attribute the act of making content (and, notably, making the type of content that specifically appeals to you) with the dopamine hit of reading your reaction. Treat them like Pavlov's dogs. Ring the kudos-bell.

Fan creators are human beings, not AI content generators.

They have real human feelings and real human egos. The contemporary attitude towards media engagement is skewed towards algorithmic, instant, and uncritical consumption. This is pumping straight gasoline into the beautiful lakes of our fandom ecosystem. Fandom cannot afford to treat its creators like mechanical text generators. We are not an unfeeling assembly line, only there to produce content. We are enthusiasts, engaging in our hobby. No fan creator has to show you anything. They are fully within their rights to keep their works hidden in their computer files, never to see the light of day. Every fanfic on AO3 is only there because someone had the grace to share it with you. You are not entitled to an author's work, just as they are not entitled to your kudos. We have a mutually beneficial arrangement. Do not forget your part in this symbiosis.

It's a problem that extends beyond AO3. Tumblr is a less enthusiastic place than it used to be. Fandom as a whole is drifting towards a consumption mindset. I, for one, am sick of it. Reblog things, like them, share them. Make fanart of fanart. Who gives a shit? Do the cringy thing. You don't have to cultivate your blog aesthetic. Be who you are, like what you like, and have enthusiasm about all of it. Fandom should be an expression of radical self acceptance. Embrace it. Leave essays about fics that you liked. Reblog the essays of other's when you see them. Exist in the mutual joy of seeing and being seen. You are not just an external observer, absorbing content from a distance. You are here too. Wave back at us. Say 'hi.'

You can count it as charity work on your metaphysical taxes.

My final appeal is a moral one.

Commenting on AO3 is just a kind thing to do.

You are your actions. Are you the kind of person who does the kind thing when no one is watching? When no one will care?

Fanfiction is a hobby, and I'm not here to guilt you about how you spend your leisure time. I'm only here to say that there is a kindness you could be giving the world.

If you are one of the people that performs this kindness, I thank you.

[drdemonprince]

Autistic friend anon here — thank you so much for your answer and the substack post. I was kind of stuck in the “rejection” feeling of “wait but if being autistic isn’t a bad thing then why are you so upset at the idea that YOU might be autistic”. I took it really personally and wasn’t really thinking about how much it sucks when someone acts like they know you better than you do. I’ll have to keep working through that.

I also often get stuck in the idea that “well if someone had just TOLD ME I was queer/trans/autistic then I could have figured it out sooner and life would be better” or whatever. But after many years of being out as queer/trans, I think that isn’t actually true and even if it is, I don’t interact with other possibly queer/trans people by “diagnosing” them with queerness/transness any more. In my head it seemed like autism was different for some reason, but of course it is not.

Anyway, your answer was really thoughtful and diplomatic, while also being very clear about what is bad behavior on my part. It is genuinely going to be a big benefit in my life.

Hey, nice to hear from you again!

I totally feel you. When I told a friend years ago that I thought she might be a BPDer, I was incensed that she ended up not taking that comment well. I meant it in an affirming, pro-Mad-Pride kinda way! I was a BPDer too! if she thought it was bad to be BPD, what did that mean she thought about me?

But I was looking at it the wrong way. I had just hurled a still very stigmatized label in her direction as a response to her complaining about real relational struggles in her life, which felt diminishing and presumptive. Telling various people in my life that I'm pretty sure they're Autistic can have a similar effect, even if they're on board Autism acceptance as an idea.

I used to fixate on the time I lost not realizing I was trans or queer or whatever the fuck I am yet. I had a vision of an older me materializing before me at age 16, specifically on the corn-lined roads I used to bike up and down furiously, and imagined telling myself the Truth of who I was and what I had to do to be happy. I believed that if i had known I was trans younger I would have avoided a lot of upsetting relationships, eating disordered periods, and general angst.

Now. I am pretty damn sure that is not true. It turns out that being trans was not a solution to all my problems, it was just another problem that I had. In the sense that it's a challenge to navigate on this bitch of an earth. if i hadn't chosen to be trans i would have chosen some other shit to do that also would have been a major pain in the ass i'm sure. that too would have been an interesting back story.

I dont think I was ever going to be outgoing and unneurotic and breezily well adjusted. That's not my lot in life. Feeling a little uncomfortable in my body and around other people is as definitional a part of me as my wit or my weird laugh. I can kinda love that about myself now, or at least accept it. nothing and nobody actually could have saved me. its just not that simple. but it's been a pretty interesting life.

i think we tend to impose our self-narratives onto other people when we are not happy or we are harboring deep regrets about having gotten something wrong or missed something in the past. but we cant spare our friends those journeys. they should get to have them. it's interesting and enriching to get things wrong, be in denial, cope in elaborate stupid ways, soul search, change our minds, miss something, find something, never know what's true.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for inviting my cousin to an LGBT meet up?

Cw: mentions of suicide and transphobia

I (18M) am a trans man and my cousin N (21F) is a lesbian who is very masc presenting. We're the only queer cousins in the family (at least in our generation) so weve always been good friends and shes been one of the biggest supporters of my transition, defended me from bigoted family members and always corrected family when they used my deadname/old pronouns. I lowkey hoped she would come out as a trans man or nonbinary as well. We dress in the same style which makes it so when were hanging out together one of us is gonna get misgendered since people asume both of us are trans men or masc girls. When N is the one being misgendered she doesnt bother fighting it since its more trouble than its worth but looking back i think it really annoyed her.

Earlier this year N was severely struggling with her mental health. I apologize for the wording i may have since i dont know the proper terminology for this stuff or any specific disorder diagnosis she may have (other than autism). She was having some sort of manic or depressive episode. She was dead set on pushing people away and making them hate her so she could take her own life without regrets.

I visited N once to give her my support during a struggling time but i stupidly told her there was nothing she could say that would push me away. She told me not to test her but i kept pushing it and i admit what happened next was my fault. She told me in a very cold voice that she was a terf, though that she didnt want me dead but that "we" (im guessing she meant trans ppl) made it so much harder for her to exist(???????). I didnt let her keep talking just and left her room, said my goodbyes to her family and just cried while driving home.

Im still not sure if she meant it or if it was part of her mental episode and just a way for her to hurt me and push me away. On one hand ig it explains some of her behavior? N sometimes complained when she got asked for her pronouns or being misgendered like I mentioned before. On the other hand, I gen do not believe she has been a terf all along esp with how supportive shes been of me. If she was a terf youd think she would try to subtly talk me out of it, but that has never happened. My friends have nicknamed her schrodinger's terf lol

Anyway, i went no contact with N for a few months for my own wellbeing. During this time i heard that she tried to kill herself a few times, which got her into a mental hospital. She was given higher doses of meds and seems to be doing way better.

We had a family reunion this week and i decided to approach her. N seemed a little hesitant to talk to me but stayed polite. I tried testing her and talked about the effects T has been having on me but she acted like she always had and congratulated me and even complimented me on how deep my voice has gotten. I wasnt satisfied cause i wanted an apology for what she had said to me so i pushed it more. She did end up apologzing but it was a very surface level apology. At this point i didnt want to keep pushing in case it set her off again so i just took her apology (plus i wanted my best cousin back) and spent the rest of the day hanging out with her.

On the way home my mom said she was happy me and N had made up and that i should invite her to the lgbt club meetings Ive been going to this year. It seemed like a good idea to me, she lost a few friends during her episode and she could make more queer friends here. If N is trans and just in denial it could help her get the resources she needs to feel comfortable coning out. If N IS a terf maybe having more positive interactions with trans ppl could change her mind on it. Overall i thought it would be a win for her.

I brought it up to my friends and some of them blew up at me. Their argument was that itd be exposing the other trans ppl in the group to a terf and putting them in danger. I truly hadnt considered this angle so im kinda conflicted now. She had never felt like an unsafe person before and now that her episode is over she feels normal again. Even if she is a terf i dont think she could actually cause harm? I want N to get better but i dont want to put my trans friends at risk.

So tumblr, WIBTA for inviting N to my lgbt meet up?

What are these acronyms?

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

I'm the nobody. The last resort. The one people will only come to talk to when there is nobody else left. I can't tell you how many times people have dumped all their OC lore on me and I have listened to them, how many times I have engaged in their OCs, tried to interact with them, shown genuine interest, only to be cast aside and forgotten once their favorites return. I have had people go on the dash and complain that "nobody" interacts with them or sends them asks or has any replies for them, when I am literally doing all those things for them - it's just that their favorites aren't doing those things for them. I even had one person leave a server and then claim months later that they felt left out and that, again, "nobody" was paying attention to them, when really, it was just one particular person who wasn't paying attention to them, and this was after they had been complaining to me personally about this other person. I have had people use me, dump on me, kick me aside, forget about me so many times. Is it me, or is this how the entire rpc is? Is this a tumblr thing, or a younger generation thing? I am an older person, in my thirties. Sincerely, what is the deal? Why are so many people like this? I don't listen to people infodump to me about their OCs anymore. Save it for the dash or their profiles like everybody else. If people are on the dash begging for interactions after they have ignored all of my attempts to reach out, I send them nothing now. If you ignore me, I ignore you. I return the energy you give.

[jaemmphilia]

★ 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦 ★ || b.c

★ summary: celebrating a first anniversary as a married couple has to be special. too bad chan was called into work right in the middle of his dinner with his husband, y/n. y/n understands, he really does, but this is their first anniversary for crying out loud. y/n sends chan off with a bitter smile and an idea in his head. chan deserves a night of relaxation for being such a hardworking husband.

★ characters: bang chan, y/n

★ warnings: semi-fluffy, very nasty, chan calls reader a pretty boy, some language but not a lot, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

★ word count: ~1.8K words

★ requested?: yep, thanks a lot anon!

★ binnie's thoughts: this was requested by a lovely anon, and i originally planned to get one of my wips out first, but this request literally plagued my dreams,,, so enjoy!

★ disclaimer: this fic in absolutely NO way represents the stray kids members as people. this is just for fun, so don't take it to heart. just enjoy!

As soon as you heard the door close and the familiar sound of the locks being turned, you quickly began to clean up the remains for your supposedly romantic dinner with a heavy heart. Of course you understand that Chan’s line of work can be demanding, but it is your first anniversary as a married couple. 

The wedding was truly one-of-a -kind. It was small, with your parents attending as well as Chan’s own parents and siblings, and the other members of Stray Kids being present. The remaining seven members argued who was going to be Chan’s best man, each one of them spouting the generous things they have all done for their leader. Chan wrangled his kids and told them they could all be his best men. All of them gave each other pointed looks before agreeing. Sweet little Jeongin didn’t want to be Chan’s best man, he actually wanted to be yours. And what kind of monster would you be if you said no to his sweet smile and shining eyes? 

You and Chan met in high school, with you being a foreign exchange student, there was a heavy language barrier, so you didn’t really have many friends. You often sat alone in the classroom at lunch, until Chan came and pulled a chair up to your desk. When you looked up to see who was sitting by you, your jaw dropped. A mop of curly, dark mahogany hair and round eyes to match greeted you. Chan looked at you with a bright smile, his eyes crinkling and disappearing. You both introduced yourselves and the rest is pretty much history.

 You followed Chan everywhere he went, you stuck by his side through it all. His debut, the hours upon hours of grueling training. You called him every night while he was away on various tours and interviews, you would stay up late with him on the phone while he continued to work, his insomnia getting the best of him. He told you that your snores were like a soothing white noise to him. That statement earned him a slap on the arm. 

You smile to yourself as you wash the dishes. Your husband is so hardworking, always thinking of others before himself, not once complaining about having to do multiple things at once. But you can tell that it's taking a toll on him. He still smiles, but it’s not as bright or as often, and you frown, deciding that your husband needs a night of pure relaxation. 

After finishing with the dishes and cleaning up any other mess you see, you venture into your bedroom. You make your way to the bathroom and run a bath for yourself. You strip out of your comfy clothes and sink into the water, letting out a sigh at the feeling. You quickly trim your growing bush and make sure your skin is nice and soft for your husband. After your bath, you wrap a towel around your damp body and contemplate what to wear. 

Chan is a simple man, he thinks you look good in anything, whether it’s nothing at all or a trash bag. His libido isn’t very high but he can’t resist you, he thinks you’re the sexiest being to ever walk the Earth, and he has no problem telling you so. The two of you are very affectionate, so sex is usually soft and vanilla, but tonight you think it’s time to spice it up just a tad. You dig around in your shared closet and eventually pull out a small plastic bag containing something you bought so long ago. You planned to wear them one day, but the timing was never right, so you ultimately tossed the bag deep in the closet and forgot about it for about two years. 

Pulling the small box out of the plastic bag, you examine it carefully. A pretty black box with red ribbon wrapped around it, the store’s logo plastered on the side of the box. You untie the ribbon and lift the lid off the box. The black fabric blinks back at you, and you carefully grip the fabric in your hands. You carefully take the garments out of the box and you let your towel fall from your body. Taking a seat on the bed, you lift your leg and slide the black thigh-high stockings onto your limb. You like the way the band tightens around your plush thigh, the flesh pillowing around it. You slide on the second one and walk to your vintage full-length mirror. You move your legs in different positions, enjoying the way the stockings look against your skin tone. 

What you fail to notice is the figure standing behind you, leaning against the door frame of your bedroom. Chan’s eyes roam your naked body, his bottom lip between his teeth. Chan clears his throat, chuckling as he watches your frame jump in surprise, a startled gasp falling from your mouth. You quickly cover yourself up as you whip around to look at Chan with warm cheeks. He was supposed to be gone for at least two hours, so what the hell is he doing at home right now?

As if he could read your mind, Chan speaks up, “It was an easy fix, Changbin couldn’t figure out the right melody and Jisung was absolutely no help.”

“Oh, well. Uh, that’s good,” you mutter, quickly becoming more aware of the way Chan is looking at you right now.

“So, what’s this, hm? Is this a part of our anniversary?” Chan takes a step towards you, his eyes not leaving your face for a second. You look like a deer in headlights, eyes blown wide and your lips becoming red from nervous chewing. 

You simply nodded, not really trusting your voice to reply for you. You slowly uncover your lower body, allowing Chan to see the half-hard on you’re sporting. Chan takes a few shorts steps towards you and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his hard chest. 

“Well, this is a pleasant surprise.”

The next thing you feel is your body being lifted up and dropped onto the bed. You let out a soft yelp of surprise as you watch Chan lift his shirt up and over his head, tossing the item behind him. He grabs both of your legs, running his hands along the soft fabric covering your skin. He spreads the limbs a little as he leans down until he’s face to face with your dick. He places soft kisses to your inner thighs, causing little goose bumps to form across your arms and the back of your neck. 

“My husband is such a pretty boy, wearing these stockings just for me, huh?” Chan says, his warm breath fanning against your dick, causing it to twitch a bit. 

“Mmh, yes, Channie,” you answer, your hands gripping the duvet below you, your teeth toying with your bottom lip as you look at the gorgeous man in between your legs.

“Then I guess I better give this pretty boy a nice reward for doing something so nice for me,” with that, Chan’s tongue comes out and licks a long stripe from your puckered rim all the way to the tip of your dick.

The slurping sounds are loud in your ears as Chan uses his tongue to stretch your hole for him. He hums against your hole as his large hand jerks you off in tandem. You let out whines and little chants of Chan’s name, which only makes him want more. Your body is twitching and a light layer of sweat covers your skin. 

You’re so close to your release and Chan knows. Not wanting the moment to be ruined so quickly, he pulls away from your body. He gives you a smirk as he lifts his body up to remove the remainder of his clothes. Once Chan is as bare as the day he was born, he uses his hand to get himself to full hardness. As you watch him, a lightbulb goes off in your head. 

“Channie, I have an idea,” you call to him softly, your eyes zeroed in on his form. 

“Oh? What’s on your mind, darling?”

“Since I have these pretty stockings on, why don’t you fuck my thighs?” you try to keep your voice as soft and innocent as possible, and you push your plush thighs together for effect. 

Chan lets out the most delicious groan you have ever heard from him. “Darling, you always have the best ideas,” Chan praises you, and he walks towards your body, his hand on your knee.

Chan parts your thighs a bit, slipping his dick in between them. He tips his head back at the feeling, and he closes your thighs around his dick. He gives an experimental thrust, the soft fabric rubbing on his length in the best way. You love seeing your husband like this, blissed out and the usual furrow of his eyebrows long gone. 

Chan picks up the pace, the force of his hips hitting your ass causing your body to bounce up and down. Chan leans over you, capturing your lips with his, his tongue finding its way into your mouth, licking all in your mouth. Chan loves sloppy kisses, something about swapping spit with you makes the man go absolutely crazy. 

It isn’t long before Chan’s hips begin to skip and stutter, a telltale sign that he’s reaching his release. His moans and groans turn into whimpers and whines as he chants your name over and over. His curls are sticking to his head as the heat of your activities fills the room. 

“Can I cum on your pretty stockings, darling? I promise I’ll buy you a new pair, please let me cum on them,” Chan whines in your ear, his thrusts becoming irregular as he chases his release. 

“Yes, gods yes, Channie,” you answer him, your own release coming up fast. You wrap your arms around your husband, your grip on him nice and tight, just how he likes it. 

It isn’t much longer until Chan spills all over your thighs and a little on our stomach. He cries out in pleasure, his head tipped all the way back, his strong neck exposed to you. You finish after him, your own release splashing onto his abs and a bit on his chest. 

The two of you come down from your highs, just reveling in the embrace of one another. You’re both freshly washed, a movie playing on the television in front of you. Chan lets out a content hum. You’re massaging his shoulders and neck, helping the man get the knots out of his muscles. He loves receiving a massage after the two of you share an intimate moment together, and tonight is no different. You would do anything for your hardworking husband. 

[whumpshaped]

No magic, but does Beck have any self defense instincts? I know he probably wouldn't consciously react on them, but.... Would he ever do something like bite Helle if they spooked him suddenly?

of course! beck is a vampire after all! a predator! big scary!

masterlist bingo card

tw vampire whumper, vampire whumpee, conditioned whumpee, fear of punishment, manipulation, mind games

Life in the mansion was quite cosy and peaceful, for the most part. Aside from the general levels of anxiety and the sometimes debilitating loneliness and isolation, Beck had nothing to complain about. He could almost completely forget about being a runt, with the steady supply of blood Helle was allowing him.

Never completely, though, of course. Because Helle reminded him. And they reminded him often.

Because of how sheltered he was, Beck really had little idea of how his vampire instincts worked. He never really got a proper feel for how strong he actually was, because Helle was stronger, and they were all he could compare himself to — safe to say, he wasn't prepared to see the coffee table snap in half after he'd banged on it out of frustration. He spent the entire evening apologising to Helle for ruining the furniture.

He didn't really use his speed either, unless he was running away from a human who accidentally spooked him. After having woken up to a group of hunters breaking into the mansion, he was extra jumpy, and he didn't hesitate to flee from any situation that made him feel even mildly threatened. Being able to catch his phone ten times out of ten was a nice bonus, he supposed.

'Fighting' and 'self-defence' never even crossed his mind. Once again, the only person he regularly interacted with was Helle, a vampire far stronger than he was. There was no reason to fight them, and no chance of defending himself. He was magicless, too, and from what he'd gathered, that meant he was absolutely useless in a violent setting; so that was exactly how he lived his life.

Until one night, Helle decided to sneak up on him.

He hardly remembered the exact sequence of events. He'd heard a noise, someone touched him– it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he'd sank his fangs right into Helle's hand, and he was still holding that hand in his mouth, and his jaw was completely locked up from the shock and anxiety.

Helle blinked at him a couple times. "So..." They gently tugged on their hand. "Any chance of me getting my hand back?"

Beck let out a soft whine, and finally released his hold. "I'm so sorry," he said immediately after. "I– I got scared– I'm sorry, I don't know why that was my first thought– and then I just, I just couldn't open my mouth, I got too anxious, it's a thing that happens when I'm anxious–"

As Helle slowly lifted their hand he quieted down, mortified to see the two puncture wounds he'd caused. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Helle was going to muzzle him, they were going to pull his fangs out with pliers, they were going to wire his mouth shut.

"Do you think this is appropriate behaviour?" they asked, and Beck tried to make himself a little smaller.

"N-no, Master. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to–"

"Did I ask for excuses?"

He was trembling now, shaking his head frantically. "No, Master."

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry please at least let me say I'm sorry–

"Dogs who bite get put down," they said softly, cocking their head to the side. "Are you going to bite again?"

"No!" he cried desperately, tears welling up in his eyes. "No, Master, please, I'm sorry–"

Helle burst out laughing, making him stop his pathetic grovelling for a second. Was that... good? Was he entertaining enough not to be put down?

They licked the blood off their hand, still smiling. "Fret not, dear, you are always such a good boy for me. I am merely teasing." They stepped away and Beck let out a relieved sigh, only for Helle to swiftly remind him that being on edge was a constant in their home. "But do keep in mind that I bite back, yes?"

~

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