#i literally cannot remember her last name help

[lunarrolls]

team issylra’s doing so good you guys

[alicerosejensen]

I love your page so much omg. I‘m literally obsessed with your work😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Also I have this imagination in my mind going on about how Leon would try to help his girlfriend from recovering from her mental health issues since she’s always helping him. I was recently thinking about how he would react finding her not moving on the bathroom floor and trying to bring her back! I rewatched American horror stories and the scene with tate and violet in the first season episode 6 (ig?) is always in my head. I‘m still recovering from my past and my unhealthy habits and tbh recovery never felt better.

If this is too much for you or triggering please ignore this.🫶🏼❤️

I had a terrible period in my life when I was a few steps away from doing something like this in my life and unfortunately this shit often comes out. I'm not sure that such texts help me work through my psychological traumas, which were, in fact, inflicted on me and continue to be inflicted by close people who do not consider me a person, but at least such works help me to vent my pain, which I cannot permanently bury in myself.

I have been postponing this request for a long time because I was probably waiting for the right moment to write this text.

There are mentions of suicide, psychological trauma, severe self-doubt and anxiety, so if this is not acceptable to you, then please just block it.

Perhaps there is a similarity with my previous texts, but I am writing this with strong emotions now that I am trying to cope with it again.

the text is chaotic, I repeat, written while I was under the influence of strong heavy emotions. Maybe I'll delete it later, when my brain gets back to normal a little bit.

If a songbird doesn't sing well, they wring its neck.

Maybe it was the costs of Leon's profession and the result of his constant missions, after which something human is gradually dying in him despite the constant struggle to save everyone. Raccoon City was supposed to teach, if not to survive, then make him begin to understand that some are doomed to die.

Leon Kennedy was taught not to offend, but to protect the weak, especially weak women. But it is difficult to calm the flow of disordered thoughts and put aside the fear that has seized him in order to clamp bloody wrists and apply something to them to stop the blood. Leon knew many strong women: Ada was perhaps the first among them, he did not know either her past or her real name, only the present that pushed their foreheads against each other; Claire, a fighting friend of misfortune that he met in that ill-fated city; Ashley, who turned from a baby eagle into a proud eagle; Angela Miller and others…

Your strength dissolves in the water, coloring it scarlet while your heart stubbornly still beats, let the rhythm noticeably shorten.

In truth, over the past few months it became clear that this was the only way out. When even your loved ones considered you an expired product and did not hesitate to remember this and remind you every time. In the end, their words turned into an obsessive worm that settled in your head, slowly day after day, month after month, devouring you and the circumstances seemed to be not in your favor. Instead of support, you somehow faced reproach, as if the universe was screaming that you were an wrong person, nature's mistake who had no right to live.

Escape attempts were doomed to failure. At first you tried to suppress it in yourself, helping Leon, because, in your opinion, he was the only one who had the right to complain about life, although he did not do this in front of you, because everyone said that you had no problems: you have everything limbs, there are no fatal diseases, all loved ones are healthy and there is a roof over your head, as if this is enough to not fall for nonsense and not walk around forever with a sad face.

This was the last time you shared your experiences. You didn’t even bother telling Leon, but everything inside was torn from constant pain. The feeling was as if you were being beaten by two extremes that led you to the edge of an abyss where you ultimately voluntarily jumped.

no, you really loved him, it was just other people’s words and your own speculation that convinced you, despite your strong relationship with him, that Leon would find someone better, someone more confident in himself, someone who would not be you because you had already missed the chance for a good life because it moved too slowly. Ultimately, a couple of sips of alcohol with sleeping pills and a sharp blade in his hands simply promised to correct the mistake in the form of you with your own hands.

You didn't have the courage to do it any other way.

But you really didn’t think that if you could try to open up to your loved one, you would meet support and not condemnation. Perhaps in a mad world he would be the only one who would heal your wounds as you healed him in your time. Leon clenched his teeth, feeling tears flowing down cheeks, seeing these crimson stains, when he pulled your body out of the bath, holding you close to him, repeating “I’m holding you. It's allright"

He so carefully laid you on his lap, managing to pull out a first aid kit and then bandages to tightly, albeit carelessly, wrap them around your wrist in order to somehow stop the bleeding. At least you were still breathing, thereby giving him hope that everything could still be fixed. the darkness and emptiness came to life, calling in a whisper to dissolve into eternal silence where there is no pain or condemnation. Your body will be in a grave under a gray stone, while the remains of your soul will float like a small grain of sand in infinity.

For Leon, everything happens in a fog; he tried more than once to save people, but he had no right to lose in this battle, even if you yourself surrendered to death. Shaking his head, brushing away the tears, he wrapped your body in a large terry towel, kissed your temple and picked you up, trying to somehow warm you, pressing you closer to him. the ability to provide first aid in the field and pull suicides out of the other world is not the same thing. Leon would have thanked God if he had believed in him, convinced that blood loss was the least of the evils that you had caused yourself, until he saw the remains of some substance at the bottom of the glass that stood on the table along with an almost full bottle of alcohol.

You really didn't give him a chance.

The ambulance took several minutes, which seemed like an eternity. In fact, Leon wasn't sure if it was worth trying to make you vomit when you'd already lost so much blood that it was already seeping through the bandages. Surely you would need a transfusion and Leon is ready to give you all his blood if only you would wake up. Holding his breath, he carefully looked at your chest, watching whether you were breathing and fortunately, your heart was still beating, slowly, but it was still fighting for life.

He stroked you on the head, kissed you, promised that he would take you somewhere else, quiet, where no one would dare to offend you, even if it was your family. You could have just asked him for help, just cuddled up to him and he would have protected you from other people’s attacks, but you preferred to remain silent. Kennedy was tired of waiting for the medical staff to let him in, although relatives should be allowed to see the patient first, but the position of a government agent sometimes had its advantages, and they concerned not only the high salary. When he was let in to you, it seemed to him that you had become half your size while you were lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. It didn’t work out to pull off a beautiful suicide, which meant that soon angry relatives would come here with new sweat of bile especially for you. They won’t care about your feelings, but Leon sat down next to you, trying not to intrude too much into the space in which you imprisoned yourself, as if this blanket cocoon could be a separate world where you could hide. He spoke to you carefully, hating himself for not being able to understand in time what was wrong with your behavior; perhaps if he had been more attentive to you, the incident could have been avoided. You would see a psychotherapist, take a course of medication, and your environment would definitely be taken care of.

You cry, not letting him come to you, hating how you weren't just left to die and how much you hate this world. Hysteria after hysteria, nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown, in the hospital you repeatedly tried to commit suicide, but the attentive staff managed to prevent this before you inflicted fatal injuries on yourself, and if after some time Leon still managed to carefully break through your armor, then your loved ones This did not concern relatives in principle. You only allowed one person to visit you while you were undergoing psychological treatment and you behaved calmer and calmer, listening to the velvety words that soon all this would be behind you.

“We’ll go home soon,” Leon smiled, gently holding your hand and kissing your forehead, just glad that you’re alive, that you’re breathing and that your psycho-emotional state is slowly but improving. “You know, I have a surprise for you, I think you’ll like it when we get home.”

Soon what happened will become another nightmare in his life, a blessing with a good ending, but for the sake of this happy ending, Kennedy is ready to descend into hell at least every day.

You nod at him and smile a little, fearing that the gift is some kind of party on the occasion of your discharge. In fact, the last thing you want is to see someone’s faces, especially those who diligently hammered into your head how insignificant you are. Why do you even hope that the doctor will postpone your discharge, but the plans for your further treatment were completely different.

On the other hand, after taking antidepressants and psychological help in a special medical institution, how many men are ready to stay with their girlfriends who have been there for several months? For Leon, it seems this was not a significant problem, or he simply carefully did not show it. However, there were no parties, no calls, you simply returned now to his home where there were new interior items. it became somehow more comfortable... but something else surprised you.

Puppy. A small puppy of a couple of months old ran towards you and Leon to meet both of them, but stopped and began sniffing your shoes, while something thawed in your heart.

“Animals seem to help us well, They feel when we feel bad, it seems to me a good idea to get us a little companion,” Leon said quietly, stroking your back while you were busy with the puppy, rejoicing at the little living soul who will love you with the same pure and devoted love.

Ultimately it should have a happy ending too. Leon is ready to go to great lengths so that his beloved songbird starts smiling and singing happy songs again, even if it is necessary to remove other birds from her family who sleep and see how to pluck all her wings again.

You and he also have a chance for a happy ending.

[gennyanydots]

Forced to go to the strip club

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x spitfire!wife

Part of the “Spitfire Universe”

Not necessary to read the other parts but helpful.

Summary: It’s Bob’s bachelor party and their babysitter cannot handle them. Reinforcements must be called in. Reinforcements are sleepy.

“Hello?” You say as you answer the phone sleepily. Who the fuck would be calling at this time? What time was it anyway? You went to bed way later than normal and you feel like you were pretty asleep so it’s got to at least be 2 in the morning or something.

“Is this Mrs. Hangman?” A male voice, that you don’t recognize, on the other line asks. You laugh at that. You didn’t realize when you married Jake you were actually gaining two new names instead of one. You were expecting Jake to be the one calling since his name came up on your phone when you looked for half a second before answering. Whoever this is must have gotten a hold of Jake’s phone somehow.

“Yes, this is she,” you say with a yawn.

“Hi, umm, this is Bob’s cousin. I was the designated babysitter tonight and umm I was told well uhhhh,” the man trails off, clearly trying to figure out how to describe whatever is happening to you.

“You were told what?” You ask. Tonight was Bob’s bachelor party. You figured that the squad would be getting into some sort of shenanigans, hence the need for a babysitter. You specifically didn’t ask any questions. You didn’t want to know. You also didn’t want to have to answer questions when you went out for the bachelorette party tomorrow night. So you knew literally nothing about what your husband and his friends were doing. Bob’s wife to be had come over along with Natasha and the three of you spent the evening watching trashy tv shows together while painting your nails and doing face masks to look your best for the tomorrow night. A girls night in before the girls night out. Plus, someone had to stay home with Eli and Radar. Jake’s on kids duty tomorrow.

The three of you ended up going to bed around midnight, way past your normal bedtime. Natasha passed out first on your couch before you lead Bob’s girl upstairs to the guest bedroom. Usually you try to go to bed at the same time as your son, you feel like you should have tonight since you knew he’d be up at 5 just like normal, only you would be the one getting up with him instead of Jake. You were not looking forward to that. Damn your husband for his early morning runs. You wish you would have taken Penny up on her offer to watch Eli tonight for you so you could have a stress free night in and a nice morning to sleep in tomorrow so you’re well rested for the fun.

“ Umm, you see, Bob told me earlier that if I uhh couldn’t umm,” the man trails off again. How long does this man expect this conversation to last? You have sleeping to do and you’re moving past being annoyed straight into being pissed off at this man.

You roll your eyes and huff, “Give the phone to Rooster.” You figure Bob’s cousin wouldn’t know who Bradley was if you used his real name. Bradley’s the easiest to distinguish from everyone else. Easy to spot.

“I don’t remember which one that is,” the man replies. Of course he didn’t. That would have been too easy for you.

You sigh, why did it have to be your husband doing something dumb, “Hawaiian shirt.”

“He’s drunk.” At a bachelor party? Shocking. You would have never guessed. You’re gonna lose it on this man. You really are.

“Yeah, I’m sure he is. He’ll at least tell me what’s going on without pussyfooting around so please hand the phone to the very tall man with a mustache wearing the obnoxious shirt before I start yelling at you and wake up my baby,” you say, very quickly losing your patience.

“Yes ma’am,” he says before you hear the background noise get louder until you hear Bradley say, “Why are you handing me a phone? I have my phone. It’s not mine!” to Bob’s cousin and then some mumbling.

Finally you hear Bradley say, “Hello?”

“Bradley,” you say.

“Hey! Hangman’s been talking about you! Hey Hangman! It’s your wife! Hi hangman’s wife. How are you? We miss you!” Bradley says, all a little too loudly.

You laugh, “Hi Bradley. I’m good. How are you? Miss you too.”

“I’m so good. I’m having so much fun. Not as much fun as your husband though.”

“How much fun is he having?” You ask.

“So much fun,” Bradley says laughing.

You roll your eyes, at least you’re getting farther than you had with Bob’s cousin. Bradley is at least answering you, “What’s he doing? Where are you guys?”

“He’s dancing on the stripper pole! Very badly. He’s bad at this. I’m sorry your husband can’t dance. I’ll teach him if you want. I’m surprised Coyote’s best friend is this bad at dancing,” Bradley says. You’re starting to hear a slur to his voice.

“It’s okay. He’s usually better when he’s not drunk like that,” you explain.

“He’s really, really drunk, me too, but he’s like bad really drunk. If he spins much more he’s gonna throw up. Gross. I don’t want to see that. We should have someone come get him,” Bradley says then you hear him gasp, “I should call his wife! She’ll come get him.”

You shake your head as you listen to him and wonder exactly how much alcohol is in his system, “I’ll come get him.”

“Oh my God did I call you with my mind?! I don’t remember calling you! I’m magic! I knew it!” Bradley says, excitedly.

“Sure Bradley, you’re magic. I need you to text me where you are so I can come get him, okay?” You ask.

“Okay. I gotta use my phone. This isn’t my phone. I don’t even know whose it is. The background is you and your son. Weird. That’s creepy. Honey, I think you have a stalker. I’ll protect you. Don’t worry. Nobody will get you or Eli on my watch. Uncle Rooster will protect you both!”

“My hero,” you say and yawn again. “Okay, Bradley take out your phone.”

You hear shuffling and then hear, “Okay. Done.”

“Good job. Now I need you to share your location with me.”

You hear a few taps then receive a notification from his phone then hear, “Boom! Crushed it!”

You laugh then smile, “Perfect. You did so good, Bradley. So proud. I’ll see you soon, okay? Don’t leave, none of you, until I get there. That poor man Bob put in charge did not sound like he had you all under control. Lord knows you’re all a handful and a half. Bye Bradley.”

“Bye bye!”

You hang up and stretch your arms over your head. This isn’t what you wanted to be doing. You wanted to sleep. You don’t want to go to a strip club to corral a group of drunk men, including your husband, and get them all to leave. This wasn’t your job. You weren’t on Dagger duty, and yet, here you were pulling on a pair of sweatpants and throwing on a sweatshirt to get in the car. Why wasn’t Pete babysitting? Unless he’s also there and drunk off his ass. Or maybe he’s sick of them after being with them all week and instead stayed home for some peace and quiet. Smart man.

You tiptoe into the guest bedroom and quickly but quietly wake the soon to be Mrs. Floyd to let her know what was happening. You couldn’t see well in the dark but you’re sure she rolled her eyes at the situation then held her hand out for the baby monitor. Thank goodness for friends who get it. You handed it to her with a quiet, “Thanks, I’ll be back soon! Hopefully.” before you quietly went down the stairs and slipped your feet into some flip flops.

You just grabbed your keys and wallet and stuck them in your hoodie pocket along with your phone. It felt weird not taking a diaper bag with you for once. You quietly went into your garage and open the door to get your car out. You really hope the noise doesn’t wake up Eli or Natasha who had still been snoring on the couch. You grab some water bottles from the garage fridge and toss them onto the front passenger seat as you get in your car and soon you’re on your way to the strip club. Thankfully it was only about 15 minutes from your house so it doesn’t take long for you to get there.

You park your car and climb out then head to the door. The bouncer looks at you funny but doesn’t question you as you hand him your ID. He checks it and hands it back as he tells you to have fun. You roll your eyes. Does it look like you’re there to have fun? You’re pretty sure your hair is a mess and you might even have pillow marks on your face still. If anything he probably thought you were some jealous wife coming down here in a blaze of fury but that’s not the case at all. You have no problem with strip clubs. You couldn’t care less that your husband is here. These women and some men potentially are just doing their job. Your only problem is you’re here when you want to be fast asleep. You’re pretty sure if the guys don’t immediately listen to you that the party is over that you’re going to have a full on temper tantrum. You’ve watched your toddler have enough of them so you’re basically an expert.

You look around and don’t find anyone who looks familiar. You spot a waitress and quickly walk over to her and ask where a bachelor party might be. She points you towards the VIP room and you thank her before heading in that direction.

There’s another bouncer in front of the door who stops you before you can enter and you just sigh, “Listen, you close in like a half an hour. It’s probably going to take me that long to round up all those guys in there and convince them it’s time to go home. Do you want to deal with their drunk asses and it take you three times as long for you to get them to listen or do you want me to do it and I’ll have them outta here in no time? Because if you want to then by all means go ahead. I’ll go back home and go back to sleep. My son is going to be up in like three hours. If you don’t want to then I’m gonna need you to let me through so I can collect them. I promise you I know them all. This is Robert Floyd’s bachelor party.”

The bouncer nods and holds the door open for you, “Yes ma’am. I apologize ma’am.”

You nod at him and walk in to a mess. There are guys everywhere. A couple you don’t know. One very scared looking man by the small bar. You assume that’s Bob’s cousin. You head over to the bartender, completely ignoring Bob’s cousin, and ask them to turn the room’s music off which they do as you stand on a chair you find. Once the musics off, immediately you hear a bunch of groans and hey’s and you roll your eyes. Whiny babies.

“Hey!” You yell to get their attention.

They all turn to look at you and you take the site in. Bob has a bra hanging from his neck and lipstick kisses on his cheek, you quickly take out your phone and snap a couple shots of that. Bradley’s Hawaiian shirt is inside out. Your husband is holding onto a stripper pole leaning backwards, couple pictures of that one too. Javy was getting a lap dance but the stripper stopped when you yelled, picture of that. Mickey was on Rueben’s back for some very odd reason, picture of that one. Logan and Billy were seated on a couch, double fisting some beers. And both Brigham and Neil have their heads down at the bar and you took a picture of that too. The men you don’t know were all scattered about amongst the others. You honestly expected worse but it didn’t sound like Bob’s cousin could handle anything worse.

When the men all see you there are excited shouts.

“Hangman! That’s your wife!”

“Baby!”

“Mom’s here!” (That one made you roll your eyes but you’re not surprised)

“Oh no! We got caught!”

“I know you!” (Yes Logan, you two have met many times.)

You shake your head at the lot of them.

You put a single finger to your lips until they all quiet down, “Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. We’re going to do this step by step.”

The men all nod at you. Good. You didn’t feel like dealing with any defiant little assholes.

“First! Whatever dollar bills you brought with you for tonight need to be given to the nice ladies who took their clothes off for you. And you’re going to thank them for their time. Bob give back the bra.”

Bob immediately blushed bright red and the men all proceeded to follow your directions, even making sure to thank them. One man walked up to you and held his money out and you shook your head, “Not me you dumbass.” You pointed him towards one of the strippers and sighed, these guys are going to have to make it up to you. You’re taking an extra long nap tomorrow and someone had been watch your son. You feel something around your waist and look down to see your husband has wrapped his arms around you.

“Good job, now number two, you’re going to all cash out at the bar. Get your cards back. We’re not leaving our credit cards here. Make sure you tip,” you say gesturing to the bar.

Jake reluctantly lets you go before following your directions. This step takes them all a while and you end up sitting down on the chair until the bartender gives you a thumbs up and Jake is back to standing as close to you as he possibly can.

You stand back up and your husband wraps his arms back around you, “Okay third step, look around you for trash. If there are cups take them to the bar-“

The bartender interrupts you, “We can handle that. Don’t worry. It’s our job.” You shoot him a glare and he immediately holds his hands up in surrender and says sorry.

“- Like I was saying, if there are cups take them to the bar. If there’s trash there’s a trash can in the corner. We aren’t leaving this place a mess.”

The men all get to work quickly and it doesn’t take long before everything is picked up and vaguely looking clean. To get Jake to listen this time you had to push him off you and point at some trash before he sighed and picked it up and threw it away then returned to his spot.

“Fourth step, make sure you have your wallet, phone, and keys and/or anything else you brought with you. Like a sweatshirt or a hat.”

Everyone immediately starts patting their pockets and nodding. You tap Jake’s shoulder to get him to let go then sit back down and turn to Bob’s cousin, “What was the plan for afterwards. Are they going somewhere? Is there a way to get them to wherever?”

Bob’s cousin shrugged, “We rented a limo to get here and I think the plan was to Uber back to wherever you were staying for the night.”

You shake your head at him, “You think or you know? You’re the worst babysitter. You should know the plan.”

Bob’s cousin hangs his head and apologizes.

You look around before finding Bob and quickly yell his name, gesturing for him to come over to you.

“Hi, Mzzz Hangman. Whass zup?” He says slurring this words.

“What are you doing after this?” You ask.

He scrunches his face for a minute or so before going, “Oh! Theresssa limo to take us to tha hotel and then we go to sleep and then brunch and then more sleep at homes.”

You laugh listening to him, “Thanks. Knew I could count on you.”

Bob beams at the praise.

You stand back up, once again Jake holds onto your legs, “Fifth step, nicely walk out to the limo and get in to go back to the hotel. Mr. Competent over here,” you point to Bob’s cousin, “Will give you further instructions when you accomplish that. I better get a good report for him or I’m gonna be mad at you all!”

That ones followed by most of the men saying a quick, “Yes ma’am.” before they started their journey to the parking lot.

You stop at the little bar and leave Bob’s phone number with them in case anything gets left behind.

You follow after the others and stop at the limo to make sure they’re all accounted for, which they are, except one. You look over at your car and see Jake leaning against it with his hands in his pockets.

You turn to Bob’s cousin, “Do not lose them. Have them drink water. Get them straight to their rooms. They should all pass out. I’m taking mine with me so you have one less. You’re lucky.” You turn to the others, “Be good! I want a good report saying you were on your best behavior!” You’re answered with a bunch of giggles as you pat the top of the limo and shut the door.

You unlock your car and watch Jake scramble into the passenger seat. You laugh and walk over, getting into the driver seat, “Did you think I wouldn’t let you come home?”

He shook his head and pouts, “I don’t wanna play with my friends anymore. I want my wife. I want to sleep in my own bed. I want my puppy. I want my baby.”

You laugh and lean over to kiss his cheek, “My poor, sweet husband, forced to go out and spend time with his friends. Didn’t have any fun. Definitely didn’t enjoy getting drunk and seeing mostly naked women.”

His mouth breaks out into a goofy grin, “That was nice but I would much rather see you mostly naked because then I could just make you the rest of the way naked.”

You laugh and shake your head, “Okay, let’s go home. If you want your baby so much you can get up with him.”

Jake perks up, “I can?! I miss him! We’re gonna play so much!”

“You say that now. When he wakes up in two and a half hours you’re going to be so sleepy,” you say as you start the car and start driving home.

Jake shrugs, “Worth it. I’m sleeping with the baby monitor. I’m getting up with my baby. I don’t care what sleepy Jake says. I promise I’m getting up.”

And surprisingly that’s exactly what sleepy Jake did in three hours when your son woke up. How nice of him to sleep in a half hour.

The bachelorette party

[heavyhitterheaux]

Can't Take You Seriously

First Lady of Private Garden Blurb

AN: I saw a tweet about this and just had to do it lol

Synopsis: You are trying to have a serious conversation with your husband, but can't figure out why he's so distracted

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

First Lady of Private Garden Masterlist 1

First Lady of Private Garden Masterlist 2

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

“Baby! Are you even listening to me?!” You exclaimed as you looked at your husband who seemed like he was focused on everything else but you.

“Of course I am!” Jack replied to you as you were standing in front of him.

“Then what did I just say?!”

“Umm, I forgot to do something that you asked.”

“And I asked you to do it last week! If I knew that this was going to take this long, I would have done it myself. You’ve been home for three weeks now from tour. I let you relax a little bit and take a moment for yourself, but did you suddenly forget that you’re a husband and a father too?”

“I’m not trying to argue with you, babe. Of course I didn’t forget!”

“Then why are we having this conversation for the third time this week? I’m about to drop you off on Maggie’s doorstep but now that she’s gotten rid of you, she probably doesn’t want you back.” You complained while crossing your arms and Jack still had that weird look on his face and didn’t even bother responding to your previous statement. 

“Jackman! What has you so distracted? Because you are literally hardly paying attention to anything that I’m saying. I could use a little more help here and I don’t know how many times that I have to say it. You decided to get me pregnant, did you not?”

All you felt was Jack move your wig that you were wearing slightly to the left, taking you aback and you were now the one looking confused.

“I literally cannot take you seriously while you’re yelling at me and your wig is crooked. Now it’s not, so we can continue.” Jack muttered while smoothing out the top and you were just looking at him in disbelief.

“Look, as much money as I spend on buying them for you, I need to make sure we’re getting my money’s worth and you’re wearing them right. Now, as you were saying?”

All you did was roll your eyes and Jack noticed that you now had a pout on your face.

“If you rolled your eyes at me any harder just now, they would have gotten stuck. So, now you’re quiet and don’t have anything to say?”

“You get on my last nerve.” You replied as you were trying your hardest not to laugh.

“I can’t have my wife out here looking like I don’t love her and take care of her! Can you imagine the headlines? And then he who shall not be named will take that as an opportunity to slide right in and take my place.”

“Not with him wearing those inspector gadget looking outfits.”

“I-... we’re going to leave that one alone.”

“But seriously, baby can you please go do what I asked?” You said as Jack pulled you into a hug and kissed your forehead.

“Yes, babe. I’m going right now and I’m sorry that I’ve just been in a mood lately. Being a husband and a parent doesn’t stop and I promise that I’m good now. Was just overwhelmed for a minute.”

“And you didn’t tell me this because? What did I tell you about that?”

“I know and I have no excuse. Thank you for always being here for me when I need you.”

“Always and forever.”

“And I’m always going to be here for you especially when your wig needs to be fixed.”

You pulled away from Jack to look up at him and gave him a blank stare.

“What?”

“I should have returned you with the receipt when I had the chance.” You muttered and Jack rolled his eyes.

“If the receipt you’re talking about is our marriage license, keep in mind that you were the one who got drunk and proceeded to almost set it on fire and would have if I didn’t throw you over my shoulder and Dani grabbed it from you.”

“Hmm, she was useful for some things I guess, but I don’t recall.”

“I guess not since the next morning you didn’t remember a single thing that happened, but it’s okay. I love my wife and her crooked wigs and all.” Jack leaned down to kiss the tip of your nose and you were trying to get away from him. 

“Jackman?”

“Uh oh. Government name was used.”

“Use your hand for a week.”

“That’s how you’re going to treat me after these hands fixed your wig for you? They can make you cum too if you let me.”

“JACKMAN THOMAS, CUT IT OUT!”

First Lady Blurbs Taglist

@cmalass

@a-moment-captured

@alinaharlow

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@harlowcomehome

@hoodharlow

@nattinatalia

[pettypiastri]

the webs we spin

coho!jack hughes x fem reader

wc: 6.9K

warnings: swearing, drinking, alcohol, drunkenness, partial nudity, sexual innuendo/references, moderate NSFW scene (involves: degradation, dom/sub, name calling, taunting), fwb

a/n: this was inspired by the visuals/vibe in a (I THINK?) luke blurb where reader comes to get luke hughes when hes drunk (I THINK?) and i cannot remember for the life of me who wrote it though i will scour for it and give credit where its due! (EDIT: its this johnny beecher blurb from the incredibly talented @lucafantilli pls go check it out and her writing in general!) this is obviously a college AU of current devils at the university of michigan so miles= miles wood, dawson= dawson mercer, john= john marino, and nico= nico hischier ofc ofc. the game referenced is actually from a wisco game from two seasons ago just a diff opponent lmao.

its a bit different than my normal/preferred writing style/voice but hopefully its still good! 🤞 enjoy!

italics are flashbacks

Y/N POV

Chaos is not how you choose to start your morning. Scratch that. It’s not how anyone chooses to start their morning. But you did choose to let Jack fall asleep next to you last night after he came over. And that is a choice you still don’t regret. Despite his choice to cause an absolute ruckus leaving for morning workout. 

“Fuck Y/N where’s my hoodie?” Jack is frantically turning your bedroom on its head at a ripe 6:20am. You’re walking a fine line between helping/consoling him and telling him to shut the fuck up. God damn feelings makes it the former. 

“Jacky hun, I’m literally wearing it, did you forget? Here, take it. Just grab me something else to wear from the dresser.” Cooing gently to try and calm the rancid energy in the room you cross your arms over your head and remove the Michigan emblazoned hoodie from your figure. You suppose you’re so comfortable around him, after he’s seen you naked so many times, that exposing your chest doesn’t give you pause. But it certainly gives Jack pause. His cheeks flush as he looks down at your breasts. He’s shy, as if he didn’t spend 10 minutes leaving marks on them last night. Seeing his reaction makes you blush, cause if he’s blushing shouldn’t you be too??

You raise a nervous arm to drape across your boobs, sheltering what you can from his beady gaze. The movement seems to bring reality back to the forefront of Jack’s mind. He sees you’re nervous now from his staring and feels a sinking in his chest; that’s the last thing he ever wants to make you feel. He clears his throat and spins on his heel toward your dresser. Fuck, he hopes he hasn’t made you insecure. He flings open a, frankly, unnecessary number of drawers until he finds some big t-shirts and picks one up. Jack, with corrected reaction and head held high now, treads over to you smiling softly. Instantly the fire on your face cools and you find enough confidence to hold his gaze. Gently he reaches for the hoodie and plucks it out of your tight grasp. 

“Thank you, love. Here.” He drops the new shirt over your head, coaxing you to slide your arms through. It’s an intimate moment with him speaking so quietly and watching you with a renewed softness. Jack doesn’t hesitate to slip his hand against your cheek and lean down for a kiss. He holds you there for a moment and it feels all too domestic: your hockey player boyfriend leaving early in the morning for a workout, the soft touches and lingering stares. The claustrophobic feeling begins to rise, as much as you wish you could revel in the moment. You know it’s not real and you can’t convince yourself it is. 

You break the kiss smiling at Jack to avoid suspicion of the strings you’ve attached yourself to him with. Jack smiles back, unaware of the ploy. 

“Sorry umm sorry I fell asleep… well, no I mean I guess I’m more sorry for waking you up.” Jack stumbles over his own thoughts a little bit, revising as he goes. You don’t know whether to be brave or be safe. Given your heart’s armor is about as sturdy as some shitty copy paper right now, you decide to play it safe. 

“It’s okay, don’t be sorry. Have a good workout, yeah?” Your gaze stays strong though, pleading for him to hear what you’d really wanted to say: ‘You know you can always stay the night. I like having you here.’ He nods curtly and mumbles out an affirmation, leaning down to slip on his shoes. 

You don’t think it’s in your friends with benefits description to walk him to the door at 6:30am, so you curl back up on your bed, dragging the covers over your body. 

Jack grabs his phone from where you’d plugged it in to charge last night (grey area behavior too) and pats down his hoodie pocket checking he has everything. Satisfied, he moves toward your bedroom door waving shyly as he steps out. You both bounce soft “bye”s off each other, like tentative echoes searching for something. 

To be fair, the friends with benefits description has already been… well, edited I guess you could say. What started out as unspoken “Only when Jack doesn’t have practice” and “No staying the night” became “Only when Jack doesn’t have games the next day” and “No staying the night unless there’s early workout/class in the morning.” 

One thing that hadn’t been revised: “This stays between us.” Who decided that one, you don’t know but that was just some kind of stupid rule for all of these types of situations, right? Maybe that’s just what you told yourself to keep from getting attached. Ha, wishful thinking that was.

Jack had been intriguing from the beginning. That hard fuckboy almost exterior was alluring; he knew just what to say and how and when and what smile to give you and the eyes to make. He was pre-planned, meditated, and that was obvious from the girls you’d seen him hand pick from the bar crowd, say a few lines to, and take home. But never the same girl twice. He didn’t really know you and never hand picked you from any of those aforementioned crowds but the fates had it in store for you regardless. 

The stupidest trope really. Dumb jock has shitty grades. Prof targets smart punctual student to tutor him. A tale as old as time except you didn’t study at the library or the coffeeshop. No, from day one you invited Jack over to your place, thinking the environment of the library was much too sterile, not very helpful for making a struggling student feel comfortable. But it didn’t quite go how it normally does. He didn’t jump your bones the first time he came over. You didn’t fall into bed with him in a lustful craze and subsequently madly in love with the boy. Not even close. 

He was nervous, quite painfully so the first few times. Whether it was the vulnerable environment getting tutored for a class you really shouldn’t be failing, knowing his cocky attitude or athlete title wouldn’t make a difference here, or how taken aback he was at how pretty you really were up close, the first three weeks were professional and timely. Only when you suggested he come over early for some coffee before starting studying and only after you offered he stay for some of the take out that had been delivered to you while he was there, did he start to relax. And even then, it was another two weeks before you texted outside of just arranging study times. For as methodical a pick up artist he seemed to be, this situation was clearly more of a tortoise over the hare type of deal. 

In those stolen moments before and after studying, you slowly grew together and from strength to strength. He told you about his family when you shared details about your shitty highschool friends and he remembered that you were always most hangry on Wednesdays since you had kickboxing right before tutoring. It was natural really the way he started dropping his book down on the same side of the table right next to you rather than across, and how he would push your hair behind your ear when you were explaining something hunched over the textbook. It was so natural how you started to grab his bicep more when praising him for doing something right and how you would sit so close on the couch together afterwards that hushed whispers were the loudest you needed to speak. In fact, you’ll be damned if you actually remember the exact moment you went from friends to something more, the transition so seamless you don’t have a memory of the first time you kissed. 

But eventually you did start to end up in bed together. Whether after your study session or maybe as a tiny break in between chapters or maybe “we just don’t even need to study because you seemed like you understood things well enough when you were here well… yesterday.” 

“So I mean basically all this problem is about is supply and demand. There’s a lot of red herrings here that they’re trying to distract you with. Can you tell me what the product is and the initial supply and demand relationship? Before the market change?” You’re busy looking over the word problem trying to figure out how to step Jack through it next. But he’s taking an unusually long time to answer your question. You turn to look at him. Jack seems lost, but about what you’re not sure.

“Isn’t that a fish? A red herring?” He asks. You can’t help but sigh that THAT is all he decided to selectively hear from your initial question. 

“Yes, Hughesy, but it’s also an expression that means a piece of information that is distracting from the main point. Kind of like what you’re doing right now.” The second part you mutter under your breath though and turn back to the book. More silence.

“...I’ve caught a tuna once, y'know.” 

“Jack! Focus!” Your chastising facade is easily disintegrated by an accompanying giggle. Jack looks satisfied, a little grin on his face that matches yours. Always the class clown. He’s more than happy he got you to smile and stop your tutor act. Though he doesn’t like how you sigh in slight frustration while setting your pencil down. He reaches a hand out to touch your thigh. The gesture makes you shiver.

“Hey I’m sorry. I think I understand it already though, there was a really similar practice problem I did before hockey today.” His soothing tone is matched by the gentle movements of his thumb on your skin. It takes you a moment to really hear what he said but then you smile. 

“You did practice problems today? Before practice? Without me assigning them to you?” You’re almost bashful when you ask, finally catching him in a moment of softness that you adored so much. It doesn’t go unnoticed by a blushing Jack either. 

“Yeah I did. I don’t wanna look totally stupid when we study y’know.” It’s sassy as always. You can hear the vulnerability though, you know him too well now. His expression morphs into more of a smirk, one side of his lips pinned higher up than the other. Jack reaches out his unoccupied hand to toy with a piece of your hair before slipping it behind your ear. “Was also hoping we could spend some time doing something else if I already understood the chapter.” His voice is a few steps lower and his eyes have already drawn more hooded as he looks you over. He’s trying to find the answer in your eyes. You fight an inner battle between what’s in your pants and what’s in your head. 

On one hand the past couple days of fooling around had been amazing but rationally you know this can’t end up being good for your tutoring situation. So do you give up or give in? As much as you wish the personal turmoil to be more prolonged, you think you already made up your mind how today would end when you first let Jack into your apartment looking so good in that backwards hat and flannel combo. You want him. He’s only empowering you with the way he’s running his hungry eyes over you. Fuck it. Professional tutoring and casual sex could both coexist right? Even so, you know the clench in your heart wasn’t from nerves but a clairvoyant reaction to how knotted this web would end up. 

In an attempt to stamp down the thought, you surge forward to kiss Jack. He’s ready to meet your lips, catching you in a soft but intent kiss. It’s only an extended moment before you pull away. His lips chase yours and the smirk that used to be on his face is now transferred to yours. You stand up. 

“You coming?” It’s a rhetorical question tossed over your shoulder on your way to your bedroom. No chance in hell he wouldn’t follow.

“Not right now Y/N geez. I can last at least 20 minutes, you know that.” Jack is quick to joke, wrapping his arms around you from behind and waddling as a pair toward your room. 

“Eww Hughes, I hate you.” You can’t help but laugh. His lips find their way to your neck and you can feel his smile. 

“Shh I bet you won’t be saying that in 19 minutes and 55 seconds, pretty.”

Jack was so gentle, he took his time to learn your body and constantly praise you for being so good for him. And after he learned you, you learned him, how he was rougher after games and always enjoyed a sneaky bout of morning sex. You never bothered to ask if he was seeing other girls too and frankly didn’t want to pain yourself with the thought. While Jack was with you, he was yours and that was enough.

Things were sticky from the get go. He’d always linger to ensure some pillow talk and maybe make you giggle a few times before he felt truly satiated. There were even times he’d come over after a tough loss and just follow you into the shower where you’d wash his body and let him hold you tenderly as long as he needed. Jack would bring you coffee when he knew you’d had an 8am and ask about how your sibling was doing. If you were really honest with yourself, you’d felt those butterflies and that childlike glee to just be in his company from that third week when you’d asked him to come early for coffee. Call it self destruction but knowing you could have him like this, however, taboo and hush hush it is, is better than what you were before when he didn’t even know you existed and what you might’ve been if he’d picked you as just another one of his conquests.

---

Jack's POV

The boys are already raging by the time Jack rolls up with John and Dawson. ‘It’s a weekend tradition,’ they say, to have a house party whenever they don’t have a Saturday game, since those occasions are so sparse. Obviously in between these off weekends are normal parties but those are much more lowkey. Normally, he’d be down but they haven’t had one of these full on ragers in like a month and a lot has happened in the last month. 

Jack really wishes you could be here, or that he didn’t have to be… your bed is so comfy. But it’s more than her god damn bed. From day one you never patronized him or made him feel stupid for not understanding fucking econ 102. You were entirely what Jack wasn’t looking for but desperately needed at just the right time. Some stability, a person separate from the rink. Trustworthy, someone who didn’t get to know him just for hockey. You’re smart and fuck… so gorgeous. It was really intimidating at first, trying to understand something he didn’t give a rat’s ass about while a pretty girl who didn’t know how pretty she was looked at him through her big glasses. After a while it wasn’t intimidating any more, just so god damn distracting. Always getting him coffee, doing things to make his life easier, hugging Jack so tight when he’d come and go. 

If he was honest he’d been hoping to get into bed with you from like the second week, but he knew you weren’t that type of girl, the type he normally would take home for one night and one night only. He’d known you were different and he wanted that; he wanted you. And for more than just a single fuck. So he’d waited. You were so gentle with him and Jack swears it’d felt like he’d just smoked a whole j by myself when you kissed him finally. At least he thinks it was you that kissed him first… Maybe Jack had actually smoked a whole j before coming over, you made him so fucking nervous at first. Not anymore though. Now you just make him smile and laugh and feel warm. 

He seems like a fucking simp which would be fine if he and you weren’t in the trenches of no man’s land right now. He doesn't really do this type of thing, the whole relationship thing. But he does want that with you, he just doesn't know how and he doesn't know if you want him too. Jack’s always worried you might see him as just his reputation. He’s worried you won’t be able to trust him not to hurt you. But you don’t hurt the people you love. 

Every moment you’re not with him he feels like he’s looking for you (like right now) and that’s because time spent with you doing nothing is always better than time spent without you. Jack’s so fucking into you it hurts and drives him a little crazy but he’d rather stay in between than lose you completely. 

“Holy fuck did you hear a word of that Hughes?” Nico shakes Jack’s shoulder and he knows he’s been caught in his daze. He tries to recover from looking like an absolute space cadet. 

“Nah dude I’m never usually listening when you talk, haven’t you noticed?” This causes some chuckles and a punch to the shoulder from Nico, but he smiles at Jack anyway. “We getting some drinks here or what boys?” He asks, trying to push the conversation away from his la la land behavior. The group moves en masse toward the open bar that one of their other teammates set up. Jack doesn't escape the attention for long though. 

“Haven’t seen you pick anyone up in a while? Something wrong with the little guy?” John chirps, giving Jack a crotch punch. Miles laughs so hard from over the shot glasses he spills some of the Tito’s he was pouring out.

“Fuck off John no. Just haven’t been feeling like a random fuck lately.” Jack scratches the back of his neck for once hating all the fucking eyes on him. 

“Haven’t been feeling like it? Has hell frozen over?” Nico absolutely refuses to let it go. Jack doesn't even know what to say so he just turns and glares at him reaching for a filled shot glass. He tosses it back. 

“Is this a fucking party or what boys? I’m not the only one drinking, am I?” The boys take the bait and soon Jack’s the least important of their thoughts as much as they’re the least important of his.

The arena is buzzing. Home game against MSU with 14 seconds left in the period. They’re tied 3-3. And he’s sweating his balls off. Absolutely gassed. Jack puts his hand up for Ian to throw him a towel, quickly popping his cage open and wiping off his forehead. Jack takes the opportunity to look over at the MSU bench. Their coach has a whiteboard out drawing up a play to score since they’ve got an o-zone faceoff. Coach Naurato just told them to break up whatever play MSU was planning. Very helpful.

 Jack’s mind starts to wander a bit, wondering if you’re seated somewhere in the student section. He knows you come to games but didn’t ask about this one; he’d forgotten the last time you-- erm “hung out.” 

The refs’ whistle luckily refocuses Jack’s mind back on the game. It’s go time. An icing meant he was back out there with the boys for this crucial moment. They had to stretch things to OT. No way was MSU scoring. 

He takes his position at the edge of the circle, to the left of his tendie. As soon as the puck drops Jack feels like he’s in slow motion. He moves hard out on the point searching for a loose puck or being ready to pry one loose. MSU’s centerman raked the puck back but Jack gets to it first skating as fast as he fucking can out of the pile. He’s moving despite his screaming legs, the lactic acid being almost too much to bear. 

He sees he’s got one of his liney’s to the left but has to get around the MSU defender first. Jack goes for a little chip play, which surprisingly gets around the d-man, despite his good gap. Jack’s in disbelief at this point, skating for his goddamn life; he could win this game for them.

The MSU goalie is being aggressive, creeping out of his crease to make himself bigger. But Jack’s still got his guy. A quick passing play and Jack re-receives the puck, psyching out the goalie just enough to find some space and sneak the puck in backdoor. Score.

Jack blacks out. Completely unsure what to do with himself, he starts frantically skating around the rim of the rink, arms up in the air as his teammates mob him against the glass. He’s fully screaming. He can feel the whole arena rumbling around him going absolutely nuts. Jack swears he’s never been happier than in this moment. They’ve won the game 4-3.

----

He’s out of press as quickly as possible. It’s not very extensive for D1 hockey players but there were still a few questions for the game winning goal scorer. Jack is still pumped full of adrenaline, hands practically shaking he’s so hyped up. He can think of only one person he wants to see right now, elevated testosterone sending his brain into a primal state.

“I’m coming over.” He texts. He’s never been so forward before, but his dumb boy brain can only think about one thing. For a split second Jack considers sending a follow up to ease the pushiness but he decides against it, shoving his phone in his dress pants pocket and making haste toward your apartment. 

He knocks at the door shifting impatiently, annoyed by an incessant itch he knows only you can scratch. You pull open the door and are suddenly standing in front of him; Michigan hoodie covering your frame and smooth legs exposed by a pair of sweatshorts. You seem a little shy unlike usual but still smile at Jack. Damn, has she always been this pretty? His lust works to heighten his senses.

Jack is swift, grabbing you and pulling you up around his waist. His hands fall greedily to your ass supporting you but also trying to relieve some of the tension in him by copping a feel. You’re feverish when you bring his lips to yours for a fiery kiss. There’s nothing innocent about it. His feet begin to move you both subconsciously toward your room as you make out with a fervor. The smell of your perfume swirls around him and fills his nose, fueling his lustful delirium further. You’re putty in his hands, arching generously into him, gasping wantonly for his kiss. Jack kisses you again and again even after breaking away until you can’t take anymore of the Dyonisian exchange. 

“Please--” Your plea is clipped and breathy. You’re not even sure if at first you know exactly what you’re asking for. But Jack hears you. He feels the way your body is screaming, vibrating electrically at his display. It strokes his ego in just the way his caveman mind needed.

“Yeah? You need me baby? Saw me score and now you need me to fuck you?” Jack’s almost taunting, his voice a few steps lower than usual. You feel no shame in giving into his provocation. You nod hastily, begging with your eyes rather than your words. Jack smirks, setting you on the floor of your room before backing himself toward the bed. He sits down, hands going behind him so he can lean back on his arms. He looks so cocky but still so sexy. Jack raises his eyebrows looking you over from where you stand stiffly before him.

“Well? On your knees baby, show me you deserve to be fucked.” He spits, making no move to do any of the work. You stumble forward, dropping to the floor in front of him and reaching greedily for his belt buckle. “There’s my good girl. Gonna let me fuck your throat sweetheart?” It’s condescending but it makes your stomach flutter. You love when he’s dominant. You wrestle his belt buckle open, beginning to tug on his dress pants. When you look up at him with doe eyes, pleading for him to do as he pleases with you, you see his smug smile. 

“Yeah ‘course you are. Always such a slut for me.” 

It all gets a little blurry after that first shot. Suddenly, he doesn’t remember a damn thing. Until Jack sees you. 

---

Y/N POV

You think it’s part of your dream at first, the incessant buzzing. But it’s coming from a flower in the garden and that doesn’t seem quite right… it’s still another fews rings before you fully flutter your eyes open. Still in a daze from sleep inertia, you reach blindly for your phone, holding it to what you think is your ear, and answering the call.

“H-hello?” You croak out, coughing almost immediately. The response on the other line is slow and you nearly fall back asleep in the second it takes them to speak.

“Hi umm sorry is-- is this Y/N?” Even in your haze you know that it’s weird that someone who’s calling you at the ass crack of morning isn’t sure of the name of the person they’re calling. It’s then you manage to sit up and pull your phone away from your ear to look at the caller ID. ‘Jacky Hughes.’ You’re even more confused now, because that voice certainly isn’t Jack and how the fuck does someone have his phone and why the fuck are they calling you?

“Uhhhhh yeah but who are you? Why do you have Jack’s phone?” You ask. The response is quicker this time.

“Shit sorry-- fuck this is John I’m buddies with Jack. Ummm we’re at the hockey house right now having a party but Jack is wasted and he just-- he kept asking for Y/N. ‘Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, where is she? I miss her. I miss my girl. Why isn’t she here?’ Really sappy shit and I mean none of the boys knew he had a girl so we’re like ‘Jack what the fuck are you saying man’ and he won’t explain he just keeps going on and on blah blah about Y/N. So we grab his phone right, and go through his contacts and look for a ‘Y/N’ and ta da, you’re the only one in there so we figured it had to be you he was talking about. Anyway, can you come get him? He's, like, totally plastered right now.”

‘John’ as he calls himself, is “like totally plastered right now” also, based on that rambly explanation. But really you don’t need any more convincing to drop what you’re doing (more like weren’t doing) and go to pick up a drunk Jack. 

“Yeah… yeah I’ll come now just uhh drop me a pin or something.” You barely wait for John to answer before ending the call to slip on some shoes, a hoodie, and grab your keys. As you lock your door on the way out, a text comes in with a location just like you asked for. 

You’d never been to the hockey house before but fuck it wasn’t hard to miss at this hour. Pretty multi color lights can be seen changing color inside and while the noise wasn’t atrocious it was certainly obvious. You risk it with double parking despite your nagging anxiety as it’s 3am and you don’t have time to find legal parking. You begin to tread up toward the porch but don’t have to go too far before your night vision fixes on a scene that makes you smile. 

Jack is sitting on the grass with his back against a tree mumbling incoherently, from the distance you’re at. There’s a few boys with him: some on the grass as well, one swinging on an epic rope swing tied from the tree and another just standing with his arms crossed. As you get closer you can make out Jack’s pouty face and loose limbs. The boy standing looks rather paternal as he monitors your toddler of a boyf-- erm.. friend. Thankfully, you don’t have to announce your presence as said paternal man notices you walking up.

“Hey are you uh-- Y/N was it?” He calls out. You nod but before you can speak Jack opens his big mouth just as you come to a stop in front of the group. 

“Aww Y/N she’s so pretty y’know-- wait you said she was coming, where is she Nico?” You look to see if Jack’s just suddenly lost all competency but notice that his eyes are closed. Your fond smile is involuntary. By now the rest of the belligerent boys have noticed your presence and are prodding at Jack saying ‘bro she is here’ ‘you’re so stupid Hughes’ and ‘oh my god dude.’

“Shhhh my head hurts be quiet you dumb fucks.” Jack chastises through a rather endearing hiccup. You move directly in front of Jack now, sinking into a squat to be almost eye level with him. Well you would be if he’d open his fucking eyes.

“Hey Jacky…” You call gently, placing your hand over his knee. He shifts only slightly.

“Only Y/N calls me that.” Jack whines, a lilt of sadness to his voice. Some of the boys have started laughing, egging him on while Nico just swears under his breath. Jack’s childishness makes you giggle. 

“Open your eyes dumbass.” You add now, squeezing his knee and giggling still. Jack furrows his brow and shakes his head side to side.

“Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can still hear her voice.” You’re fully laughing now, heart bursting with affection for this drunken fool. The Greek chorus opens their big mouths some more, fully ragging on Jack now: ‘Are you fucking serious bro’ and ‘Hughesy you idiot.’ 

The wheels seem to start turning, granted at a glacial pace, from all the berating. Jack shakes his head and you pat his leg encouragingly, his pretty eyes finally opening. When your eyes meet, he gasps comically loud and breaks into a beaming grin. It makes you feel even weaker for him.

“Oh my god, Y/N!!” He lifts an arm and starts flinging his hand about trying to find your face, to touch part of your body. You think he wants to hold your cheek but you’d rather he didn’t slap you in the face in the process. Gently you pick up his hand and rest your face against it.

“Hi stud.” You murmur at him, and even though he’s so inebriated that he doesn’t have control of his limbs, his thumb somehow begins to stroke your cheek. His head lulls to the side like a love sick puppy and he marvels at you with his starry gaze. He fish mouths for a moment before finding his words. 

“Is this a dream? Y’know I’m spinning so fucking bad right now I can see about three Y/N’s and that honestly sounds like fucking heaven to me. Must be a dream…” Jack mutters, almost to himself.

“Sorry to disappoint but I’m as real as that econ test you have on Monday Jacky. Glad to see you’re spending your weekend wisely.” The boys around you can’t help but chuckle at your rather mom-ish chirp. A few ‘gottems’ can be heard. Despite the roasting, it appears that Jack couldn’t care less. A delighted gasp leaves his lips and a sunshine-y smile rises on his lips. 

“Oh my god it IS you! I told Nico I wanted you to come get me and here you are! Will you take me home? Home to your’s? John’s being mean and Dawson isn’t as pretty as you.” He pouts as he says all this, making your heart clench. Home, he said. Your place. You’re already nodding without realizing. And if you lean forward to press a kiss to his cheek, it’s involuntary too.

“Yeah hun let’s go. I’ve got Welch’s in the car and a Ziploc bag with your name on it.” Your fingers run through his hair to soothe him just how you’ve learned to when he’s sober. You think he makes a move to stand and get his feet under himself but that battle is short lived. His ass stays firmly planted on the ground. 

“Geez Hughes here let’s go buddy. We got ya… yup there we go.” His friends are quick to claim limbs and hoist the 180 pound gentle giant off the dirt. You thank them and point out your car. Jack’s head lulls backwards so that he can still look at you even while he’s being carted off to your vehicle. The giddy smile doesn’t seem to leave his face.

“What are you guys?” The abruptness catches you off guard and shatters your daydreaming. You turn to find Nico, the most sober of the group and the ringleader it seems.

“Huh? Oh umm-- we… we hook up I guess. Yea…” You stutter badly but this is your first time talking about your situation with Jack out loud. It’ll have to do.

“Hook up... like... repeatedly? No, sorry, I mean like, he comes back to you or-- fuck I’m tryna say like he-- he doesn’t-- you’re not a fuck and chuck?” You’re at least grateful Nico is lacking some eloquence as well right now. Still, you’re unsure how to go on. You laugh awkwardly.

“No-- or wait I mean yeah? We’ve uhh yeah been hooking up for a couple months or three I think now. I was asked to tutor him in econ at the start of the semester.” Nico looks shocked but you watch as his face morphs in accordance with the wheels turning up top. He smiles all of a sudden.

“Well fuck me. He said he had a pretty study buddy so I guess that’s why he’s been so MIA. Probably should’ve put that one together sooner.” Nico laughs at his blatant idiocy. You smile and shrug not really knowing what to say. He hasn’t really said anything that you can respond to.

“He doesn’t even eat when he gets back most of the time. If he gets back at all obviously.” You blush at the implication as he continues to glue the pieces together in his head.

“Yeah we usually cook together or order something.” Your admittance is bashful. You kick some rocks with your shoes as you continue walking behind the carrying party toward your car.

“Wow. I’m shocked really. I mean I’ve never seen him or heard of him spending this much time with a girl before. You must be special.” 

You must be special. 

It’s what you’ve been wanting to hear for months now, just from the wrong person. 

“Y/NNNNN!” Jack whines from the passenger's seat of your car where he’s been deposited haphazardly, albeit in one piece. You roll your eyes affectionately, walking around towards him. 

“Thanks boys. ‘Preciate it.” You smile at the group, shifting your weight awkwardly between both feet. John breaks the silence.

“Tell him to bring you around sometime. We wanna meet you for real. Seems like he really likes you.” 

Seems like he really likes you. 

“Sure thing. Thanks again.” You smile and offer a small laugh and wave. Quickly you look down to your boy-- no, Jack, and see him staring at you. 

“I told them that.” He mumbles drowsily. 

“Told ‘em what bub?” You ask leaning over him to buckle his seatbelt and push all arms and legs inside the vehicle. 

“That I really like you.” 

I really like you. 

You pause for a moment, looking him over warily, heart fluttering. He’s smiling at you just as genuinely as he normally would when sober. It’s calming for the moment and inclines you to believe him even in his drunken state. Despite how desperately you want him to sober up so you can hear the real truth, your nervous stomach accepts his admittance for the time being. You smile back at him and bend to kiss him on the lips. It’s just a peck but satiates the boy fully. He giggles gleefully when you pull away and meet his eyes again. 

“Alright Jacky hun, let’s get you home.”

------

After waking up at 2 in the morning to collect a 5'11” drunken idiot, you’d think he’d have the decency to let you sleep in. Wishful thinking apparently. 

“Y/N… Y/N! Wake up please!” Though Jack’s being gentle he’s still shaking you awake, a rather jarring way to come around. You groan loudly, letting him know how exasperated you’re feeling. Your hands reach blindly to push him away from you. Jack’s even more stubborn than you are though. “Please baby, I needa talk to you.” He’s gentler this time, leaning down to kiss your neck and rub at your side. The coaxing works wonders in getting you to peak an eye open. 

Jack looks adorable really. Soft hair flopping into his face and some dark blue bags under his eyes. He’s wearing a soft smile and the look in his eyes is one of adoration. It almost melts away your annoyance. Almost. 

“Jacky, what do you want? Are you still drunk? Why the fuck did you wake me up?” You whine. He just continues to look at you gently. He bends to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“Hi gorgeous, I’m sorry. I-- I had to wake you up because well I blacked out last night which you obviously saw, but I woke up from my blackout when you were sitting in front of me smiling and telling me I was an idiot for not studying for our econ test. And I couldn’t wait another hour or more for you to wake up. I needed to tell you now that-- that I remember what I said and it was true. I like you, I really do. I’m so fucking into you it’s a little stupid and I’m tired of all this in between bullshit. I’ve wanted to be with you from like the second week we studied together and I don’t just wanna have sex anymore-- I mean don’t get me wrong it’s great and I would very much like to continue having sex with you but umm what I mean is I wanna introduce you to my friends and brag about you to them. About how my girl is so smart and funny and sexy and that she makes me laugh and fuck I’d ditch boys night for you because I like you that much. You make me feel so happy and safe. I love being around you no matter what we’re doing and I want you to be around me all the time. And I think I know that I’m not one sided in feeling this because I don’t think anyone could endure the pain of being so close to a couple but not actually being official unless they would give up the world for that person and well…  I would, I would give up the world for you and I hope that-- okay well that’s a lot to ask that you’d give up the world for me back but I hope that you at least like me too. Please tell me you do cause I’m so into you babe and I want it all with you. Late nights and early mornings… the fights and the love… the future. I’m not scared of losing you from saying how I feel because I’ve been yours for months now, so what’d you say? Be mine?” 

It’s almost too much all at once. You’re so tired and delirious and here’s this soft looking boy holding you in bed under the sheets, fingers dancing along your waist while he stares into your eyes and bares his soul to you. He had you at ‘I like you’ because it’s all you’ve been wanting to hear for months. Everything else was just sweet fluff that you more than loved but didn’t even need to hear make your decision. He says he’s been yours for months now but what he doesn’t realize is you’ve been his for just as long. And yeah, you’d give up the world for him too. All there’s left to say is yes.

You giggle at him pulling him down for a soft kiss. It’s a vessel for your emotion. An outpouring of love and devotion. You want him to feel that your actions mirror his words.

“Of course, Jack. I’m yours if you’re mine.” He beams down at you, smiling so wholly you think his face might get permanently stuck like that. He buries his face in your neck kissing you there. 

“Thank god.” He sighs. “I know I sounded all confident but I was still kinda shitting it that I might’ve had it all wrong there.”

[jezebelgoldstone]

RRR (2022, dir S. S. Rajamouli)

things i am not now and likely never will get over from RRR

DRIFT COMPATIBLE BATTLE COUPLE DETECTED

queer? platonic? queerplatonic? who gives a shit no matter what it was it was AWESOME

Colonialism Is Bad Actually: The Musical

the symbolism. holy shit. every BIT of it was absolutely amazing.

wow all the mains in this movie are just, really hot? my poor lil pan heart had a rough time with this one ngl

the fact that someone (likely many someones) watched this movie about Colonialism Is Bad Actually and said 'you know what let's dub this whole thing into Hindi and English and then not give an option to watch it with the original Telugu dialogue' sure was,,,,,,,,, A Choice

THE MUSIC

by which i mean the actual song-and-dance numbers as well as the like story soundtrack all of it is going on my playlist asap

listen the spirk-behind-glass scene is awful. spock and kirk can't even touch. they can hear. they can see. but they cannot touch. and i in my sweet ignorant bliss thought that was as bad as it could get.

tonight i learned that holding someone in your arms through the bars of their cell is so much worse

I watched it on Netflix but i looked it up on a few other ahem websites and on EVERY SINGLE ONE Telugu audio wasn't even an option.

there was not one single chance to tie things together or make a connection or do a setup/payoff or callback that was not taken. not a single one.

everything about this movie is 100% Extra

in short: this movie is a masterclass

aaaaaand the rest below a cut because WOW i have a lot to say actually

which brings me to the dancing oh my gods. not sure i've ever seen such enthusiastic dancing in anything in my entire life. seriously by the final number i was exhausted just watching them

in general, this movie is: stunning

"RAM." "BHEEM." "SEETHA." IT'S ABOUT THE SYMBOLISM.

also this was kinda hilarious because i watched it in hindi [the least disorienting option] and they kept SAYING "ram" but in the subs it was always fuckin RAJU so like. again with the Choices. like seriously what was the thought process there. WAS there a thought process.

FIRE. WATER. STORY. I JUST. I. HELP ME.

i ADORED jenny. with my whole entire heart. she is one of the very BEST examples of Ignorance Is A Privilege and also At What Point Does Ignorance Become Malicious that i have ever ever seen. i loooooooooved it. i mean i hated it a whole lot while it was happening but also i am SO GLAD that now rather than trying to explain all of this to people i can just tell them to watch this movie and then sit them down and be like, so what are your thoughts on jenny's culpability in literally everything?

oh and how you can be a kind person and still do atrocities! like jenny is so sweet and so kind and you just like her so much and yet. and yet.

t h e s y m b o l i s m

i cannot remember the last time i saw a movie so visually stunning. the cinematography is breathtaking. pause on just about any random frame and it could be a movie poster or hanging in an art gallery or what have you.

they also dubbed all the lines that were actually in english? i mean i get it for the characters who spent most of the movie speaking Telugu because you'd need their voices to stay the same through the whole movie yeah fine whatever. but like. they dubbed all the ENGLISH characters, too? like literally dubbed them from english into english??? the dialogue matched their mouths except the timing was veeeery sliiiiiiiightly off but it SOUNDED really obviously dubbed??? Y THO???

HOLY SHIT THE FIGHT SCENES OH MY GODS

Malli. Malli honey i love you. i'm just realizing i don't know if that's your actual name gods damn it. but whatever your name is child i love you.

and did i mention that everyone in this movie is beautiful? like. seriously. Ram and Bheem especially holy SHIT.

Physics Does Not Work Like That And I Do Not Care Because That Was AWESOME: The Musical

oooohhhhh they re-recorded and dubbed the fucking SONGS too. i am so pissed about this y'all i can't even tell you.

oh i want to do a whole entire post that's even longer than this one about the symbolism. hell i could probably do a whole entire post just on the fire/water symbolism even without everything else. It was AMAZING.

okay ram is fire and bheem is water and ram's people go to a valley on the shores of a river and the river is in literally every shot of the village and just ram BEING fire but water being a place of HOME and SAFETY for ram

i'm not crying shut up

MALLI AND HER MOTHER TRY TO REACH EACH OTHER BUT THEY CANNOT TOUCH THROUGH THE GLASS

BHEEM AND MALLI HOLD EACH OTHER THROUGH THE BARS OF HER CONFINEMENT AND HE HAS TO LET GO AND LEAVE HER

BHEEM AND RAM HOLD EACH OTHER THROUGH THE BARS OF HIS CONFINEMENT AND BHEEM RIPS THE DOOR RIGHT OFF

ooooooohhhhhhh and people holding hands right before they part. oh that hurts. all of those hurt so bad.

how every single time people held hands when they parted they always held on till the last possible second EXCEPT FOR RAM'S MOM.

she lifts her hand away from him and then pulls back and it was devastating

Predators Do Not Work Like That But I Do Not Care Because That Was Awesome And Also They Ate A Bunch Of Colonizing Cops: Queercoded Edition (ACAB)

bheem with his arms spread and rope or chains around his wrists or in his hands. i just. the way it flipped back and forth from 'he has the power' to 'he is helpless' to 'he should be helpless and isn't' was just. breathtaking.

AND THEN. AND THEN RAM. CHAINED UP THE SAME WAY. DOING THE SAME GODDAMN THING AND USING THE FACT THAT HE'S CHAINED UP FOR HIS OWN FUCKING PURPOSES BECAUSE HE SAW BHEEM DO IT FIRST DON'T TOUCH ME

okay listen this movie would've been good no matter what but like. they really are just SO beautiful. and. when ram. with like the long hair. and. beard. and like. you know? like. his. his hair. his general. everything. um.

literally at the most emotionally inappropriate moment i literally thought about that whole 'i saw a man so beautiful i started crying' thing and like that almost literally happened literally

Why There Can't Be Any Such Thing As Good Cops: The Romance (ACAB)

and like here's the thing i'm not sure i would've even NOTICED this had it not been for the linguistic chauvinism with the audio and everything but like both of them were hindu and a lot of the symbolism though awesome was also really strongly hindu and i just i don't know nearly enough about hindutva to have any kind of opinion BUT i also feel like maaaaaaaybe there was something a little uncomfy about some of this

oh no wait the suspenders dance. that might've actually been the best part. yeah.

oh all the british actors did SUCH a good job being so eminently punchable

throw cheetahs at each other! and snakes! somehow have upper body strength greater than the force exerted by a 800+ lb tiger lunging! throw those motorcycles! punch through those walls without breaking your fingers! use herbal paste to heal broken bones in a matter of a minutes! break solid stone with nothing but the strength of your shoulders and gay love! i am so here for all of this!!!

Throw Rocks Marble Pillars Live Tigers Cops At Cops: The Movie (ACAB)

i love that jenny felt bad for the poor little girl who got kidnapped enslaved and imprisoned so she. bought her a dress and a toy.

you know, to make her feel better about the whole 'being kidnapped enslaved and imprisoned' thing.

instead of doing, i don't know know, literally anything else. like even just saying to her aunt 'hey this makes me sad' or something. #solidarity.

the violence was violent and the romance was sweet

okay so during the fight at the midpoint like i know that by the end of it ram and bheem are literal fire and water BUT ALSO. Ram enters the scene in a flaming carriage and from that point forward the fountain is in pretty much every shot of bheem. just sayin.

love that lachu (or whatever his name really is) told ram that there was no cure. like yes! you go man! ram may be so beautiful that in forty minutes i'm going to be in tears but that's no reason to tell a cop the truth about anything! you lie to that cop man!

A BRITISH SOLDIER HIT LOKI IN THE HEAD WITH A BRANCH AND THEN STOLE MALLI AWAY

BHEEM HIT RAM IN THE HEAD WITH A BRANCH AND THEN STOLE MALLI AWAY

i know other people got hit in the head with tree branches too but STILL

honestly i really like that ram and bheem were, well, ram and bheem. but i mean im glad they weren't like ram and lakshman or bheem and arjun or something. not even just because that would've been brotherly like i'm glad they weren't arjun and krishna or something either. i liked that their names weren't from the same story. i liked it better this way and i can't even articulate why.

i am never ever ever going to get over the progression of part of bheem's introduction being something going wrong and him holding two ropes (he has all the power) with his arms spread and that being used to show us how incredibly strong he is -> something going wrong and bheem with ropes around his wrists (he shouldn't have any power at all) holding his arms spread and that being used to show how incredibly strong he is in a completely different way

like every time there were ropes or chains in bheem's hands or around his wrists it meant something, and it was a beat in the rhythm of a discernable arc, but now i can't remember all of them gdi

oooohhhhh there was SO much more symbolism i wanted to talk about but it's so late that i have a headache and this post is so long my computer's lagging like two sentences behind so i should stop and go to bed. sigh.

just go watch this movie, okay? pleae? I cannot IMAGINE who would've read this whole thing,m but if you did, just watch it, all rigth? (and if you happen to know of any site - ANY site - where i can watch it in FUKIN TELUGU kindly drop a link please and thank)

[math-is-math]

Heather is THE aleheather song (or at least one of lol) and here's why

♬ - "Heather" by Conan Gray; def listen to it if you haven't

Okay let's get the obvious out of the way:

1. The song's name is Heather!! And her name is literally Heather!!!

2. Heather day is known as December 3rd; the lyric, "I still remember the 3rd of December". The episode they became a canon couple in, "The Final Wreck-ening," was literally aired December 3, 2013 in the U.S.

Now this is the part I'm excited to delve into:

3. In the song, Heather is the "it girl." She's the person the narrator wants to be, in order to get the same type of affection from their love interest (as they're in love with Heather).

Now, we're all expecting miss Heather over here to be the "Heather" of the story. She's hot shit, she presents herself as hot shit, there are many guys who are visibly attracted to her (including Alejandro). However, I present you this.

In its full irony, Heather doesn't believe she's the "Heather" of her story.

Everyone fell weak in the knees for Alejandro, even Heather herself. They couldn't stop themselves from falling for his charm; they all wanted to be his "Heather". Throughout the season, he was seen leading on some of the girls. His thing with Bridgette and Leshawna didn't really faze Heather though.

However, she was seen doubting things when Alejandro moved onto Courtney.

In her confessional, after denying anything could possibly happen between them, a look of worry is seen on her face. Throughout those few episodes, she's pretty wary of their relationship, although she covers it up and further focuses on winning the challenges instead. But Alejandro's seen giving Courtney cookies, flirting with her, helping her with her emu and the wedding challenge, etc.

Courtney is starting to become the "Heather" of their story. And frankly, who wouldn't be worried? Because in Heather's eyes, Courtney's a way better person than she could ever be - they all are! Heather is cold and calloused and cruel. The rest of them are humane, they actually have the ability to be kind and show emotion. What would someone as warm and charming as him want to do with her?

Their confrontation/confession in "Sweden Sour" I feel is kind of the peak for this song association, especially his final line:

"Believe me, Heather, the only woman I want to look at is you."

You have this charming young man - who's swooned all the ladies and led them on then broke their hearts and took them to their downfall - confess his devotion to someone the world and their mother hates.

Heather, as someone who:

can't allow herself to trust

can't allow herself to love and become vulnerable

doesn't think she as a person is lovable

cannot believe his confession.

All she's wanted is him, this confession is practically a dream come true. Here he is giving her the title of "Heather" in their story.

But she doesn't know if he's telling the truth. If she allows herself to fall into that trap, she could simply become another pawn on his board. He could twist things and lead Heather to her downfall as well. She could become the narrator once more, just like everyone else, wishing he'd reconsider them as a "Heather" for his story.

Alejandro couldn't possibly mean it, she can't fathom being the "Heather" of their story. She can't fully trust his word. Yes, she doesn't know who his potential "Heather" could be (Courtney lol or maybe someone else he meets after the show is done) but she can't believe it could genuinely be her.

Also in All Stars, in her confessional when she's like:

"It's almost as if he's lost interest in me. No one has ever lost interest in me!"

I feel like that last bit was just her trying to cover up her genuine fear and instead coat it with an ego-boosted comment, to show she really doesn't care, it's his loss after all!

But she's afraid of losing the title of "Heather" in their story once more. It's not like there's any potential competition for her to lose the title to, but there's still a chance of losing it in general.

However, Alejandro always comes through, showing Heather that she truly is her namesake in their story. Taking the dive after she gets beat up, digging her out of the hole, beating the crap out of José for insulting her, literally confessing his feelings to her instead of chucking his doll in to win the million because clearly that was priority.

She'll always be his "Heather". Nothing could change that. <3

[miss-ery-3]

ughhhh, i don't want my blog to turn into some kind of relationship-crybaby-blog, but i do have a lot to think about atm

i dont really have anyone to talk with about this. all my friends are in happy relationships and dont really seem to take any other stance than "you cannot break up" and that just really isnt helping me

buuuut, if you aren't interested in my personal (non-ed) issues, just scroll on<333 no hard feelings

so, for now, i'll just type this into space and hopefully get some kind of catharsis i guess

it's currently 1 am and i am in my childhood bedroom and i can't sleep. my head feels like it is fucking spinning. every thought in my head is "why do i feel like this? if i feel this bad should i just stay with him? but do i actually feel in love with him anymore? it's not fair to continue being with him, if i don't actually want to. would i miss him? would i regret it?" and then just in a big ol' loop

mixed with thoughts of my friend i talked to all of friday night. his face has popped up in my head constantly since i went home at 7 am from being with him all night. i feel fucking butterflies in my stomach, and get all giggly, and i want to say his name out loud for some strange reason - until i think about what these fucking butterflies mean and then i feel sick to my stomach and want to throw up. every butterfly i feel is like taking a step away from my bf, and i literally cannot control it

i feel like an absolutely horrible person, fuckk,brnfjkgnkmrf

'cause i also keep thinking about all the things my bf have done that hurt me (i guess, to make myself feel better?? but it makes me feel a whole lot fucking worse. both because i feel like a horrible person, and because he's made me fucking sad a lot of times)

like this summer, i got my bachelors degree (a fucking big thing for me - and he knew that), and he knew that i would have my last exam in, like, the end of june. i gave him the date as soon as i could (maybe two/three weeks ahead) and then like a week before i graduate, he remembers that he has plans with his 5 best friends to go drinking

and guess what

he chooses to go drinking with his friends. he celebrates me for like... 1 hour, 2 hours max. as soon as my friends arrived he was like "oops gotta go drinking with my friends that i can see all the time. no time to celebrate my girlfriend getting her bachelors degree, although she will never ever have a day like this again. no no, gotta go get shitfaced. and i am actually not going to apologize"

also at my last birthday, i celebrated it at my parents house for most of the day, and then went home in the evening (like after dinner) to go get drinks with my friends. we had planned that he would come home to my parents with me the day before, and then we could wake up together on my birthday and he could be with me and celebrate and stuff

3 days before my birthday, he says he doesn't want to go with me to my parents' house to celebrate my birthday, because he has to read for school (it was in a holiday as well, he didn't have school for days). the weekend before my birthday he chose to go drinking with his friends (i was ofc not invited) and couldnt get out of bed for days, but whenever my birthday rolled around he had to be an A fucking student. so he cancels and then we only see each other for the last, like, 4 hours of my birthday, with all of my friends and some family - and then he got annoyed with me for getting sad

he talks over me, he interrupts me and then never asks me what i was saying, he ignores me every time he picks up his phone, he always prioritizes friends, family, work and school over me, he's really good at making me feel small (not in the good way) and stupid. he corrects almost everything i say, also stuff that i dont say, but that he just want to "clear up". he drops plans w me so easily, to be with his friends and he almost never invites me. he insists on touching my belly although i've told him it makes me very uncomfortable, and then gets annoyed when i remove his hand - because 'he likes touching it, and i shouldnt feel bad about my belly'. he often ignores my text messages if he doesnt feel like they matter to him. when i ran my first 10K he ran 11K the next day to show off (he did apologize, but i still cant believe he actually did that shit). whenever ive met his friends and family, they are better at including me in the conversation than he is: he will leave me alone with people i barely know, to go do something else (and he knows that i have some social anxiety). he gets annoyed with me over things that he believes i do on purpose, but i dont (e.g. wake up later than him?? go pee before i make coffee for us?? when i forget socks when i sleep over, and ask to borrow some of his? same w phone charger and other stuff. and he usually ends up with saying "omg its just a joke" but i can feel that it isnt. otherwise he wouldve stopped doing it). sometimes he makes jokes at my expense or is just plain rude, and when i tell him to stop, he will tell me to grow up and accept a joke, and whenever i say he makes me uncomfortable/annoyed he says "i cant take that seriously" or "thats the fun part". he is horrible at picking up after himself, and will get annoyed with me if i do it for him (i cant stand mess, and he knows this.) he wont do the dishes for days on end in HIS OWN apartment, so whenever i come to visit, i usually end up doing them, cause i cant stand mess. and he ALWAYS comes out when theres like 1 spoon left and is like 'oh gosh nooo sweety, you shouldn't have done all that.. awww.. nooo, now i feel bad.. *hug, kiss* oh well' and then go back to laying on the couch).......

ofc he also has good sides, but now that i've mentioned all the crap i have a hard fucking time remembering it. but i know that he does. he gives good hugs, he can give great advice, he usually doesnt judge the stupid things i do. he knows my quirks and he likes cooking me food. he hates rubbing my back, and will get annoyed if i ask him, but he is good at it. he has nice eyes and a cute smile. he knows a lot about the things im interested in (but usually shows off his knowledge in a know-it-all kinda way). hes creative and has good music taste

ugh, i am so sorry for this long ass rant, but i just needed to get this off my chest... if anyone actually read all this, and has some advice or... anything... feel free to send a message or a reply or something idk

i feel horrible

[catslvrr]

heaven sent — 06. art museum

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“Okay, I thought I was out of place at the ice skating rink. But this is considerably worse.” You crossed your arms over your chest, standing outside of the art museum that loomed over you.

“Don’t be such a party pooper, I’ll be an excellent tour guide.”

“We literally know nothing about art.”

“Not we,” she wagged her finger in your face with an annoying grin. “You know nothing about it.”

You scoffed, “Tell me one interesting art fact.”

“I know that there’s a guy named Picasso. He cut off his ear.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s Vincent Van Gogh.”

“Close enough,” she quipped indifferently. “Come on.”

Danielle dragged you inside. You flinched when she intertwined her fingers with yours.

“What are you doing?” You hissed, trying to pull away.

“Stop it,” she whispered. “There's a discount on the entry fee for couples, so act natural, babe.”

She emphasized the last part as the two of you neared the admission desk. Of course, you paid, and the two of you made your way into the exhibition.

“The guy at the desk didn’t even look at us twice,” you rolled your eyes. “I don’t think they care.”

“Well it worked,” she smiled proudly. “And you’re still holding my hand. I think you secretly like it.”

Blushing, you hastily tried to let go, but she only giggled in response and held your hand tighter, pulling you to the first artwork.

It was a blank canvas, with a blob of blue paint smack dab in the middle.

“Amazing,” you said, devoid of emotion. “This one really speaks to me.”

Danielle cleared her throat, and adjusted her glasses.

“This piece right here,” she took on a posh voice as she straightened her posture. “Is quite an exquisite piece. Made in the Baroque period by painter Jean DeJean.”

You tried to hold back a snicker.

“Jean DeJean?”

“Yes,” she nodded seriously. “An artist ahead of his time. This artwork in particular conveys his sense of isolation, the blue representing sadness and the single dot representing himself.”

“Wow,” you said in pretend awe. “I love the symbolism.”

“We’ll move on to the next piece now.” She gestured towards the next artwork. “Follow me, ma’am.”

You coughed back laughter as she strutted boldly in front of you. Surprisingly, she kept up the facade for a while, truly living up to her name as an excellent tour guide. You couldn’t help but laugh at her nonsensical explanations and pretentious acting.

And despite your initial reluctance, you found yourself enjoying your time. You caught yourself looking at her instead of the artwork more times than you’d like to admit. It was then that you knew it was over for you.

“So,” Danielle said, munching on your fries as you drove back to the apartment. “I’m a pretty good art museum tour guide, right?”

“Sure,” you answered playfully, eating a fry that she fed to you. “You should apply there. I’m sure everyone else would love to hear about Jean DeJean.”

She threw a fry at your face in response (“You just wasted a fry!”).

“I’m guessing you didn’t like art back in high school?”

You chuckled at the thought of your grades for art back then. “God, no. I cannot be artistic to save my life.”

“You can’t be worse than Jean DeJean,” she joked.

“I remember being so insecure of my pottery skills that I purposefully left a big air pocket in my clay figure. It exploded in the kiln and destroyed everyone else’s. My classmates were devastated.”

“Never mind,” she grimaced. “What subjects were you good at, then?”

“English. Guess I have a way with words.”

“That makes sense. Seeing that you do law now.”

“Yeah.” You paused. “Music, too.”

“I do remember seeing a keyboard in your room.”

“But that’s a story for another day.” You slightly smirked, mimicking Danielle’s words from the other day, “Ask me again tomorrow.”

She narrowed her eyes at you, still curious, but didn’t push it any further and focused back on the moving scenery outside.

“Honestly, today was a bit of a last minute thing.” You could see her peek at you out of the corner of your eye. “Did you enjoy it, though?”

You smiled. “Aren’t you tired of asking everyday?”

“Never,” she answered earnestly. “I always want to know.”

Your attempt to fight off a blush was futile. “Today was good. Like always.”

“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” She teased.

Yeah, it is.

“You wish,” you rolled your eyes. “…Are you down for movie night later?”

She bit her cheek, clearly hesitant to respond.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to spend more time with me,” you rushed out awkwardly, hands tightly clutching the steering wheel. “I forget that this is your job.”

“No,” she hastily reassured you. “It’s not that. I love spending time with you.”

“Really?”

“I do. It’s just that…” she trailed off, then shook her head and smiled. “Nothing. Let’s watch Frozen.”

“Out of all movies, you choose Frozen.”

She turned down the radio and started to loudly sing Let It Go.

She has a nice voice. Maybe it’s another ‘messenger of God’ thing.

“Enough,” you groaned, resting your head on the steering wheel at a red light. “Save it for later.”

Later, the two of you lay on your bed, your laptop on your lap, as you pressed play. You didn’t know if it was the warmth radiating off Danielle, or if it was the way she was playing with your hair, but you fell asleep 30 minutes into the movie.

You got up in the middle of the night to find her already gone. You could still smell hints of her entangled in the sheets, a mixture of strawberries and vanilla. You always thought the bed had always felt so small, but tonight it had never felt emptier.

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[multifandombxxch]

PLAY TOO MUCH

requested:

Hey, can you do a plug!Taeyongx x Chubby Reader. Y/n playing too much with Taeyong's feelings cuz y'know he really likes her and whatever but y/n doesn't believe him.

Pairing: Plug! Taeyong x Chubby reader

warnings: age gap, insecurities, fatphobia, raw sex (wrap it before you tap it), S*xual Harassment, mentions of drugs.

"Bout to catch another flight (yeah)

the apple bottom make 'em wanna bite (yeah)

I just wanna have a good night

I just wanna have a good night (hold up)"

The familiar lyrics of Coi Leray's 'Players' were currently blasting through multiple speakers in my dorm parking lot.

What may be the cause of this you ask?

My roommate was having another party.

On a fucking school night.

My bedpost was banging against the wall as the bass of the speakers was quite literally shaking the whole building.

I kissed my teeth in annoyance I was trying to catch up on an episode of 'House of Dragon' for Christ's sake.

"I cannot take this anymore. I'm calling her." I grumbled.

Calling MIRAE<3...

Ring

ring

ri-

"Hey boo, wassup?" she answered

I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose "Rae I literally can't hear myself right now. The music is way too loud and it's getting late. Don't you have an 8am tomorrow? "

she groaned on the other side "Bitch I told you to come downstairs and live a little. You can't spend college cooped up in the dorm."

I rolled my eyes at that. Rae did invite me to the party but I wasn't one for loud music and crowded places plus...I wanted to avoid a specific someone.

"I'm good, thanks and you know I wanna avoid he who shall not be named. " I said.

I didn't have to say his name she knew exactly who I was referring to.

she chuckles nervously on the other side

"what?'" I question a sudden feeling of anxiety filling me.

"Imma just give it to you straight. He's here and I told him you were upstairs so he said he was gonna deal with his clients and then go up to see you."

I took the phone from my ear and stared at it like it was some foreign device.

Then I placed it back on my ear

"Bitch you did what?!"

"Oh calm down. He's literally been obsessed with you since last semester. He's damn dedicated I'll give him that and he's fine as hell." She gushes.

after a couple minutes of silence ( really just me being lost in my own thoughts ) I spoke up

"I'm nervous. I like him but what if he's just fucking around? I'm not exactly his usual type." I admit softly

"Y/n" Mirae's tone is much softer now.

I shut my eyes tightly.

I didn't need pity right now. but I couldn't help but remember the awful things that were said to me

'why do your hips bend in like that...it looks weird'

my hip dips

'you need to start working out I can see the damn rolls on your back

my back rolls

'no one is going to want someone who can't take care of themselves

my body

I didn't think I was attractive or deserving of any attention.

the attention I got from men made me feel dirty instead of wanted.

I mean...being groped by a random man at 15 wasn't something I had on my bucket list.

Now all of a sudden I'm supposed to believe someone wanted me for me.

change the topic from your body Y/n

"It's fine...forget about it." I quickly cover up.

"So how long ago did he say he was coming up" Nice change of topic idiot

she sucks in a breath "He actually went up about 2 minutes ago"

my eyes went wide in panic. Our room was on the third floor I had roughly a couple seconds before he kno-

KNOCK

KNOCK

KNOCK

three rapid knocks came from behind my room door.

"Oh is that him? I'm hanging up then babe." Rae rushed out before hanging up. I put the phone on my nightstand.

Christ, I didn't even have time to fix my hair or something.

I was still seated on my bed when I heard his deep amused voice

"Y/n I gave you enough time to prepare for me so come open the door."

My body jerked at the sudden call out. I hurriedly got off my bed and made my way to the door

I counted to three before opening it and coming face-to-face with he who shall not be named aka Lee Taeyong aka the university's plug.

He grinned as he held up a bag of my favorite snacks "Hey princess...missed me?" Funnily enough, the bag looked out of place in his hand due to his outfit. He was in a black t-shirt and some black ripped jeans. and his signature silver accessories around his neck, wrists, and fingers.

He didn't have his bag with him...weird he usually has it because it contained his "goods"

I must've been staring too long because he suddenly spoke up

"Are you gonna let me in or are you gonna let that mind of yours go places it shouldn't" he smirked

The inside of my mouth became dry and suddenly I couldn't speak. I stepped aside allowing him to walk in and put the bag on my study desk.

I closed the door and turned to him.

No surprise he was already staring at me. he always stares at me.

am I really that ugly?

he was looking me up and down while his bottom lip was caught between his teeth.

"You did all that for me?" he question gesturing to my attire

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion until I caught myself in the bathroom mirror.

embarrassment

hide...hide right the fuck now.

I completely forgot I was only in an oversized t-shirt that stopped mid-thigh...with no damn bra on.

I gasped and covered my face with both my hands.

he chuckled and I felt him coming closer to me.

suddenly he took my hands from my face.

"Stop being so cute y/n...makes me wanna fuck you more"

my breath caught in my throat.

he only found me attractive because of my body

a familiar feeling of disappointment filled me

he pulled me closer by my hands and moved his hands to grip my waist

"What's wrong cupcake?" he asked concerned.

His black hair fell in front of his face. He was too good to be true.

"Is someone bothering you again?" he grilled me his eyes suddenly turning dark

"No" I answered

"don't lie to me. You know I'd kill for you." he grunted, suddenly gripping my jaw.

he can't be serious right now

he doesn't mean that

"I am serious and I mean every. fucking. word." he said suddenly serious.

did I say that out loud?

Fuck it the worst that could happen is that he destroyed my already low self-confidence so I decided to ask.

"Do you actually like me?"

he stared at me incredulously "Y/n don't ask me stupid questions. Why would I follow you around and practically throw myself at you if I didn't like you?"

he was blunt about it but I just couldn't believe him.

my doubt must've shown on my face because he suddenly turned me around and pushed me up against the wall.

he was so close I could feel his heartbeat against my back.

"You think I'm playing with you?" he asked me

"Yes" I admitted

"There's no way you'd want me. You don't usually go for girls like me.

he pressed against me more and growled "The fuck do you mean girls like you? "

tears lined my eyes

"Fat girls...chubby ones!" I whispered

after a beat of silence from me and heavy breathing from him...he released me and stepped back.

I still faced the wall. I couldn't bring myself to look at him...I was too scared I was right.

"Y/n look at me" he spoke out.

I remained unmoving

suddenly he tugged the back of my t-shirt causing me to fall back into him.

"You think i dont want you because of your body?” He questioned….his tone soft and careful.

I nodded.

“Or you could want me just for my body….I know you would probably want to sneak around since nobody wants to be seen with me”

I could feel his heartbeat on my back.

He said nothing for a couple seconds and then….

“Should I fuck you and claim you to prove you’re wrong?” He asked bluntly

My body stilled.

“Answer me baby…I need an answer y/n. I won’t touch you if you don’t want it” he rasped out.

I nodded.

And that’s all it took for him to devour my body.

“Let me see your pussy baby” he grunted as he laid me back on the bed.

I clenched my thighs tighter together

What if he hates what he sees

All of a sudden he forced my legs open and used his index to take some of my wetness

Causing me to whimper.

He looked me in my eyes and licked it clean off his fingers.

“You taste better than I could even imagine princess” he moaned out.

Three.

I had three orgasms before he put his dick in me.

I was already a trembling mess but that didn’t stop him from fucking me senseless and giving me two more orgasms.

The blissful look on his face as he marked me everywhere and Painted my walls white with his cum was better than any artwork in any museum.

His body jerked and trembled as he whispered how beautiful and breathtaking he found me.

Slowly he rolled over and laid next to me.

After we came down from the high he realized that we didn’t use protect which I reassure him by telling him I was on the pill.

“No more playing y/n, I fucked you raw. I claimed your pussy and marked your body….tell me your mine.” He as he laid next to me.

“I’m yours” I whispered blissfully

He pecked my cheek “that’s right princess”

[bakeryblood]

Family Video Called

Eddie Munson x Male Reader

Fluffy, indulgent short for me and my mutuals who love the movie

Eddie slammed the stack of movies on the counter as Robin stared him down, a bored look on her face as she chewed the same piece of gum she had been for her entire six hour shift. “Sorry Munson. Can’t do it.”

“Oh no, that’s bullshit. I paid my fee for the last broken one— AND a new VCR because I’ll have you know my machine didn’t just eat the tape it died because of it. So really I should be holding you two accountable.” He pointed to Steve and his partner in crime who tossed his hand up as if telling him to get the hell out of the store before turning back to the blonde he was chatting up.

“As funny of a story as that is, Family Video and all its employees cannot be held accountable for any and all VCR indigestion incidents.” She popped her gum before continuing. “The reason I cannot rent you these is because you have had our only copy of labyrinth checked out for the past..four weeks.” She pointed to her monitor and Eddie practically leapt over the counter to get a look before simply walking around and reading for himself.

“Hey, hey! No customers behind the counter!” Steve shouted at him and garnered himself a middle finger as Munson repeatedly checked the name, address and sure enough the date of check out. Robin shoved him out of the way and waved up the next person waiting in line.

“Outstanding balance Eddie, there’s a lot of other people who’s eyes are starving, hungry, to get a glimpse of David Bowie in that silver bodysuit— $2.75 please.”

“I didn’t fuckin’ rent that Robin! Shouldn’t you know that, you two are here literally every day!” He pulled on his jacket in frustration before taking one last longing look at the stack of tapes sitting where he left them.

“I don’t even remember the last time I ate, Munson. Please just..” Robin looked up from the register to see the young man with the fluffy hair had taken his leave before she even had a chance to order him out, the glass front door slowly falling shut on its own indicating some had just very quickly exited.

Slamming the door of his van perhaps a bit too hard he gave it a momentary look as if waiting for it to fall off it’s hinges onto the ground before heading inside his trailer. He wasn’t mad that you had found something to do while he was at school in between your shifts at work now that his uncle was working days.

It had starting to weird him out when he’d come home and you would be listening to oldies and cleaning like it was your favorite or should he say, only, hobby. While his uncle sat in his favorite chair drinking a freshly brewed cup of coffee. He’d have to pull you into his room before Wayne could start in on him about how ‘THIS is how you make a good cup of coffee’, to explain that you didn’t need to clean while you were there. You didn’t need to make his uncle coffee. You were helping out on the bills, your time off should be spent relaxing.

He was mad at the past due amount. It was a quarter a day with a three dollar late fee, math wasn’t Eddie’s strong suit but the computer didn’t lie. $28 for a movie he’d never even seen and frankly, didn’t want to for that price.

“Honey! I’m fuckin’ home!” He yelled through the trailer as unfamiliar upbeat music played as loudly as possible. He stomped towards his room where the sound was coming from and stood in the doorway, watching on as you bounced around the room dancing. He pressed himself against the wall as much as he could, holding his hair out of his face so he could continue to spy on you.

You spun and twirled, bouncing from foot to foot as you sang along with David Bowie for what had to be the 40th time since renting the movie. You hopped onto the bed and jumped up and down, turning around as you did until you opened your eyes finally catching your long haired boyfriend in the act. Except you didn’t immediately realize it was him in and the scream you let out made him more scared than you were. Grabbing his chest he came into the room and pointed at you. “Turn it off, now.”

You rushed off the bed and stood defiantly in front of the Tv and vcr, arms out stretched. “No!”

“Y/N! Four weeks? You had this for four weeks and never even told me?” He came towards you and you puffed out your chest as if that was going to do anything to Intimidate or deter him from getting that movie out of his house.

“No Eddie, please! Just one more time! I’ll pay the late fee!” He looked at you dumbfounded before wrapping his arms around you and readying himself to deadlift you if that’s what it took.

“You’re damn right you’re paying the late fee, I had to pull out the couch, looking in my uncles car and under the van seats to get the money to rent those movies.” He jingled the change in his jacket pocket after setting you down a foot away, that was the full extent of effort he was willing to put in.

“Just watch it with me one time, please? Then we can watch whatever you want and I’ll pay for those too..” Y/N pouted and moved to sit on the bed as Eddie stalled, thinking it over. Which his boyfriend noticed.

“Pretty good deal, huh?” Y/N perched up on his knees excitedly as Eddie turned back to him slowly. “It has goblins, faeries..things you love Eddie..” Consider him swayed. He walked around to the side and kicked his shoes off before climbing into the bed, expecting you to claim your spot next to him. But you stayed where you were.

As the movie progressed he slowly moved up to where you were, occasionally asking questions that pertained to plot he missed out on by bursting in a fourth of the way through.

“So she’s trying to get her baby brother back.”

“Yes.”

“Because David Bowie—“

“Jareth.”

Eddie rolls his eyes at you correcting him on that for what had to be at least the third time. “—Jareth, steals babies.”

You wiggled your hand as if to say he was half right before giving him a run down of how Sara offered him up because she was upset with her parents. “Doesn’t the baby taking seem a little..off to you?”

“How else is he supposed to fill a city with goblins?”

“There’s a whole fuckin’ city of those things?” Eddie had to admit, though maybe not out loud, that it was a very good movie. The creatures were very well made and he was finding himself becoming more and more enthralled with the idea of incorporating some of the character concepts into a campaign and seeing if he could get away with doing so.

“Plus he’s pretty hot in this don’t you think?” Okay. Fun is over. Eddie pushed himself off the bed and stretched in front of the Tv just as David Bowie had begun the ballroom dance sequence. “Eddie— Eddie move!” Your eyebrows raised up in an upset manner as he huffed and sat back down making the bed bounce.

“No, I don’t think he’s hot.” You quickly turned your face towards him shocked. You couldn’t believe it for a moment until you realized it, he was actually mad. Well, not mad.

“Oh my god Ed, you’re jealous!” He grinned at you and shook his head vehemently denying the accusation. “Don’t lie!”

“Yeah right Y/N, Aren’t we all jealous of David Bowie?” He replied dismissively.

“I can’t speak for everyone but you sure are.” You went back to watching with an even larger grin than you had previously held as Eddie brooded. He was jealous. But not because of his looks, he was jealous because of how you were dancing and singing. It was something you only ever did when you drank, always claiming to be too embarrassed to do it for him or with him so more often than not he’d take advantage of the situation and goofily dance with you if the two of you happened to drink together.

And here you were bullying him. “Why, think I should bleach my hair?” Y/N almost choked on their laughter as the image of him with platinum blonde hair flooded his thoughts in true ‘Poison’ fashion. Eddie slung his arm around the front of of them and took them down onto the bed.

“I could start wearing eyeliner more, is that what it would take for you to dance with me?” Y/N ceased his laughter and looked up at Eddie’s surprisingly serious face as his hair curtained around either of their faces.

“That’s what you’re hung up on? I just don’t—“

“You just don’t dance or sing because you think you’re ‘bad’ at it. Yeah, I know. But I saw you earlier, you sing really good..” Y/N struggles to lean up as his boyfriend still had him pinned, pecking him on the cheek. “As good as David Bowie?”

Eddie’s lips flat lined as he tried to think of the appropriate answer given how big of a Bowie fan you were. Insinuating that you could show him up might not be the way to go. Thankfully he didn’t have to as you finally rolled the two of you over. “Maybe just a blonde streak..” you teased and Eddie shook his head.

“Nope, all or nothing. I’m sure the kids would have a field day doing it for me.” Y/N began laughing again as he imagined them each going at a section of his unruly hair with handfuls of bleach mix.

“You’re hotter than David Bowie, okay?” Eddie popped up before attacking you with his hands.

“You just can’t stop lyin’ huh!” He tickled you and you squirmed, shouting out apologies as he went in on you relentlessly.

“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry!!”

________________________________________

The light in the room was dim as flames from the candles strategically placed around swayed and flickered.

“As your group trekked the final mile to the outside wall of the great maze, the light woods begin to thin out. A long empty killing field dotted with crudely hacked stumps, stones, dust, the odd arrow, and a pile of bones is before you. Your horses whinny nervously and paw the ground near the forests edge unwilling to go further.” Eddie looks up from his notes, up over his dungeon master screen as he scans the groups expressions before continuing. “The battlements seem unmanned, and the killing field silent and uninviting, looking past them at the tall walls wrapping around there doesn’t seem to be a visible entrance, gate or otherwise.

What do you do?”

“We should have left the horses a mile back, there’s obviously something going on here and they’re just going to slow us down..” Lucas complained before Erica chimed in but not before giving her brother a annoyed look.

“Is there anything between us and the walls aside from the random garbage about on the killing field..” She rolled for perception and got a nine.

“A bridge lay out at half way, no moat nor water beneath it. You look up and down the ancient cracked stone masonry, moss happily flourished despite the lack of moisture in the air or ground.”

Erica held a smug expression as she looked over the rest of the party, still seemingly confused. “I go ahead of the others and cross the bridge.”

Lucas protested against this idea claiming that this is clearly a trap and this early on they cannot afford to lose their only Rouge.

“Lady Applejack crosses the bridge despite Sundars’ pleas for her to reconsider, his calls for her seeming to fade away as a thick mist forms, clouding her field of vision. She is no longer in the killing fields and her party is long gone. She is in a swamp where aged and crooked trees with branches that seemed to be reaching for her grew scattered, narrowly avoiding the brackish green water.”

“Uh, Lady Applejack is going to turn her ass around and go back for the others..”

“Alright hold the hell up—“ Gareth stands up from his spot at the long table and advances on Eddie who quickly covered his DM notes as best as he could. “Is this a fucking Labyrinth based campaign plot?”

“Hey! Let’s try to not break the Immersion you ass, I also have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Dustin laughed before standing up and pointing at his older friend. “Ah ha! I knew you were a liar but know I really caught you! You think Steve didn’t tell me about how you held that movie hostage basically?”

“The Labyrinth? Like with David Bowie?” Erica questioned, Lucas looking more confused than she was. Tiger Beat kept her pretty up to date on the androgynous man’s whereabouts.

“Alright, cut! This is not based on the movie this is all out of my own goddamn head—“

Eddie slammed his hands on the table before raising one finger up to tap it against his skull. “Got it? I didn’t spend hours working on this for you to start heckling me.”

Dustin and Gareth return to their seated positions and the younger boy leaned over and whispered to the other. “This is totally Labyrinth based..”

“Totally, never letting him live this down..”

[toad-bread]

Weird Habits You Have

Paring- Enhypen ot7! x F! Reader

Summary- Habits that you have

Warnings- Angst to fluff, mentions of having long hair, f!reader being bullied a bit

Wc:1674

Heeseung- Literally cannot sit right. 

You and Heeseung have been dating for a few weeks and it was your first time watching a movie with him at home. “Movie date?” Heeseung questioned. You looked up from your phone and nodded and walked to the living room where the movie was on the screen and snacks were on the table. Sitting down on the couch you waited for Heeseung to come back from the kitchen.  “Hey, I’m back- BABE! Are you-okay?” Heeseung screamed while looking at your awkward, painful sitting position. You giggled at his face and patted the couch. “I’m used to my family yelling at me to sit straight. But the thing is, I can’t. Why don't you like it?” You laughed. Heeseung just shook his head and sat next to you while trying to fix your position. “You're fine, I just never realized that you sit in the weirdest positions. You have bones right?” “Yes.” “I still love you the same. It just makes you unique to me.” You raised your eyebrows and laughed again. “Unique? I don’t think it's unique, and you only noticed it now?” Heeseung pulled you closer and pecked your forehead. “To me you are the most unique partner I could ever ask for, and I didn’t notice your position because I was admiring your beauty.”

Jay- Always wears a thousands hair ties

Jay is that type of person who carries hair ties for you. But it seems like you wear thousands that cover half of both of your arms. “You are sure you won’t lose your hair ties in the water?” Jay sighed while looking at you plastering sunscreen around you. “Yes, I have names for every single one of them since I never take them off.” You smiled while walking up to him to slap his face with sunscreen. “Y/N! Stop, you're gonna put some in my eyes.” “Exactly.” Jay looked at you in horror and pouted. “Rude.” Laughing at his sudden pouting phase you kissed his nose and placed your hands away from his face. “Here let me tie your hair so you can match me.” Your hair was in a high bun with your favorite hair tie with sparkles on it. “You can have Berry.” “Berry?” “Berry is one of my other hair ties.” Standing on your tippy toes you grabbed his hair to place it in a quick ponytail that dangled back and forth when you were done. “Let’s go now!” You spoke. Grabbing his hand you dragged him to the water with smiles plastered on both of your covered sunscreen faces.

Jake- Has absolutely everything they need anytime

Running through campus, you swung the door open and ran to your next class. You stayed up late until 4 am and didn’t wake up until later. You woke up late, 30 minutes late and you have no time to process what class you have. Walking in your class you spotted Jake sitting with his glasses on, he looked at you with a smile graced on his face. Smiling at him, you walked towards him before you got stopped. “Y/n, we had an essay due today, do you have it?” Smiling at her you dug into your cramped back and pulled out the essay that you probably took from someone else but you don’t remember. Handing it to her you walked to sit next to Jake. “You did it? How? I didn’t even do it!” Jake shook your shoulders. You just shrugged your shoulders. “Dunno.” “You slept in late didn’t you.” You nodded your head while Jake rolled his eyes playfully. 

“Crap, I don’t have my book for my next class.” Jake groaned while walking to his next class. Patting Jakes back you pulled your bag next to you and rummaged through your bag and pulled out a notebook probably around 1 year ago. “Here, I took this class last year. So these notes can help you.” You explained while pulling out another notebook. “This one is for the middle of the year. The teacher is gonna go fast so this notebook really helps with tests.” You placed the notebook in his hands and pecked his face. “I gotta go, see ya at lunch!” You waved him goodbye while Jake was wondering how you took this class in the first place or why you have these resources for so long.

At lunch Jake walked to you and asked what’s in your bag. You pulled your bag on top of the table and pulled out items that is so… random like, pillows, blankets, a toaster, books from middle school, food, drinks, first aid kit, rope, scissors, cups, you name it, you basically have the most random stuff that you collected over the years. “That’s why I love you.” Jake blurted out while laughing at the random stuff placed on the table. “What? I gotta be prepared.” 

Sunghoon- Makes over-exaggerated faces when eating something they don’t like 

Sunghoon placed ramen on the table and sat down while you were on the other side of the table. Thanking him, you dug into the ramen your boyfriend made. If only you liked it. You made the most disgusting face your boyfriend has ever seen. “The heck-I didn’t even do anything wrong with the ramen!” Sunghoon shouted.  You shook your head and gulped down the liquids from the cup. “I’m sorry but this is salty-I can’t.” You suddenly start laughing at his reaction to your face. “I wished I could've recorded it. It was hilarious but it was a threat to my cooking for sure.” He pouted and ate his ramen, before spitting it out of his mouth before taking big gulps of water. This only made you laugh at him even more. “Y/n I thought you were joking! This tastes like beach water-” Wiping your tears from your eyes you smiled at him softly. “Take out?”

Sunoo- Always dressed for the occasion (At home? Lazy clothes. Raining? Rain coat. At a game? Jersey.)

You and Sunoo were meant to be, you both match outfits and have unique fashion. You both loved each other's fashion.  So when you both got invited for a sleepover you took matters into your own hands.“When I mean a sleepover, I didn’t mean wearing every sleeping clothing/accessory you have!” Sunghoon pointed out while being surprised at you (mostly you) and Sunoo’s outfits. “Uh, in order to sleep well, I must wear the most comfortable clothes I have.” You shouted back at him while placing your stuff by the couch in the living room. “Yeah Sunghoon, take our fashion advice and learn from us, we obviously have fashion taste.” Sunoo announced. “Sunghoon, let the couple take a break. We get it, you're single as a pringle but that doesn’t mean you bash on other couples.” Heeseung swiftly replied while munching on popcorn. Sunghoon rolled his eyes and obviously denied it but his ears said otherwise. 

“He’s jealous.” You suddenly said while facing Sunoo. “Sunghoon?” “Yep! Jealous of us as a couple and our fashion taste.” “I did not say that!” Sunghoon yelled. 

Jungwon- Carries a pocket dictionary with them despite the internet 

Jungwon and you are a weird couple, in a healthy way. Jungwon would give you random trinkets that reminded him of you like a bean or a pencil. While you were in love with books. You loved reading them ever since you were a kid and you still do! To the point where you almost never use your phone and use a small dictionary you carry around school. People thought you were weird having a literal dictionary with you when you can go on the internet that can give you answers in a matter of seconds. But you refer to the old fashion way. Besides, it is helpful when you can’t use your device at some places. “Aren’t you weird.” A random girl said while giving you a look. Looking up at her you furrowed your eyebrows. “Do you have a problem?” She scoffed and took your dictionary out of your hands. “Hey! Give it back, I need it for my work.” She ignored you and held the book. “Huh, no wonder why you aren’t friends with anyone-” “Hey! Give it back to her!” Jungwon yelled while walking towards her. The girl turned around to him and smiled at him nervously. “What do you mean-” She started to say until Jungwon took the dictionary away from her hands and placed it back in your hands. “Leave us alone, if I see you one more time I won’t hesitate to report you.” He threatened. She gulped and laughed nervously and spirited away from you both. “And she is not weird!” He yelled at her before she disappered from his sight. “I love you, don’t let them change what you love.”

Niki- What did I just say? I can’t remember.

Niki loves playing jokes on you, all the time, every single day. But sometimes it’s not fun with his bantering and jokes. But you forget about it after a couple of moments, and that is annoying to Niki. “Y/nnnn.” Niki whined while poking your side. You looked at him and hummed. “Your forehead is so big that I can see my reflection on it.” He smiled. You deadpanned at Niki and flicked his forehead. Niki cursed while rubbing his forehead. “OW, that hurt, how dare you-” “What? Did you say something before, I don’t remember.” “Wha- you literally flicked my forehead.” “Oh- want me to do it again?” You questioned. “Y/N! Stop! You are annoying me!” He yelled while sitting closer next to you and laid his head against your shoulder. “At least you forgot about me eating your last chocolate.” Whipping your head to him, you strangled him by his neck. “YOU.DID.WHAT!” You yelled while shaking him. “I’m so-sorry, please l-let me go your choking me-” Niki coughed. “How dare you! You have to pay me back right now!” “With cuddles?” Niki guessed. “...ugh, fine.”

———————————————————————

[frostandflamesfanfic]

Santa Who? (Dad!Steve Harrington x Reader)

Santa Who? (Rated G)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader (gender neutral)

Word Count: 2.1k+

Warnings: None, just Christmas cuteness and toddler hijinks! Dad Steve is back, everyone!

Summary: Amy and Emery Harrington are three years old and cannot wait for Christmas! When your husband tries to keep up a tradition, they begin to question who this mysterious man in a red suit is. Can Uncle Dustin save the day?

“Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen!” your husband read out dramatically, glancing up excitedly at the two little girls sat comfortably on either of your legs. Only one had managed to stay awake the entire way through, whereas the other was watching him read with rapt attention. It was officially the Christmas season and Steve was beyond excited to be able to continue his tradition of reading the beloved holiday poem to your twins.  

“On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen!
 To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall!
 Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!” You couldn’t help but giggle at Steve’s attempt to deepen his voice similar to that of the man in red. He gave a jolly laugh which woke Amy up before continuing with the story in his normal voice. “And I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight, ‘Merry Christmas to all! And to all, a good night!’”

As he closed the hardcover book and moved to set it on the side table, little Emery Harrington reached over to tug on his shirtsleeve. “What dat ‘bout, Daddy?” 

Steve smiled down at his little princess. “It’s about Christmas, babe,” he explained gently. “When Saint Nick comes to visit.”

He was met with an adorable head tilt. “Daint….Nick?”

You pecked the soft tufts of light brown copper locks upon her head. “Santa, squirt,” you tried to help. “Remember Santa?”

To your surprise, both girls shook their heads in your lap. 

“You never taught your children about Santa?!” Dustin’s voice cracked in disbelief from his position on the floor. It was your brother’s last Christmas in Hawkins before he would be moving to New York for college next summer. You had made the terrible decision to offer for him to stay with you and your family for a few days during the break. “You really are a disgrace to the Henderson name. I mean, honestly….”

“Hey!” Steve reached around your waist and pulled you closer toward his lap protectively. “It’s Harrington now, you little shiiiiiitake mushroom.” He smiled sheepishly at the eye roll you gave in response to his terrible cover-up of a swear in front of the kids. “Besides, we told them about Santa last year. I think they were just too young to remember.”

“Sure, Steve.” Dustin sighed and straightened his back as he stood up, eyes now locked onto yours. “I have to make a call.” 

He was already halfway to the receiver before you even gave a nod, the phone cord soon stretched under the guest bedroom door. 

“Sure, go ahead,” you remarked under your breath. “Use our phone. What’s mine is yours, dear brother. Not that you even care.”

Steve laughed at your remark, reaching over to pull Em into his lap. “You should have known this was going to happen if you invited him over for the break,” he said, bouncing the dark haired three-year-old up and down for her amusement. 

“Yeah, I know, but-“

“Who Fanta?” Em interrupted you with an innocent pout. 

Your husband glanced down at her small frame in his hold. She almost looked like a miniature grown-up, big brown eyes serious, stare evident. “Santa?” Steve asked her. 

She nodded. “Yesh. Who dat?”

“Well, you kind of know who he is, babe,” he explained. “Remember we got yours and Amy’s picture taken at the mall the other day?” A fond smile lit up both of your faces at the memory. It had been a literal fight with the devil to get the girls in their holiday outfits and to the mall before close. You had told Steve you were going to just take the day off of work to get them prepped, but he had insisted upon helping after work — a mistake that caused a total race to the finish at seven o’clock on the dot. The girls were nearly asleep by the time you got them situated with the kind man in red, but to the two of you, it was a well-earned victory that left you driving home with ten copies of images in your bags. 

“Well, Santa knows the names of every little girl and boy in the world and brings presents to the ones who are especially good,” your husband continued to explain. “And on Christmas Eve, he visits everyone’s houses with his reindeer and leaves presents for the good kids and coal for the naughty ones.”

Amy whimpered in your lap and pressed her face against your stomach. Concerned, you frowned and stroked a hand through her short hair. “Whatsa matter, bean?” you cooed. 

“Dun want Fanna!!” The light haired angel sobbed into your shirt. 

Sharing a confused glance with Steve, you lifted Amy up in your arms to gently wipe at her tear-streaked face. “What’s wrong with Santa, bean, hm?” 

Amy only continued to sob, small hands grabbing onto your shirt. 

“Babe, you have nothing to worry about,” Steve tried to console her next. He reached over to run three of his fingers up and down her small back. You felt her shiver against you and give a small shake of her head. “You’ve been such a good girl this year. Santa’s not going to give you coal.” 

This only made Amy howl more. 

What happened? Your gaze silently questioned Steve. Your husband merely gave a shrug in response. Your guess was clearly as good as his. 

“I think it’s time for a bit of a nap, don’t you?” he proposed softly. “Then we can have dinner and watch a movie.” 

⧫ ⧫ ⧫ ⧫ ⧫ ⧫ ⧫ ⧫ ⧫ ⧫ ⧫ ⧫ ⧫ ⧫ 

Aside from the earlier confusion, the rest of the evening went on as most did within the Harrington house. You and Steve worked together to make dinner. Actually, that was a lie. Steve mostly made dinner. You sat at the kitchen counter, eyes locked onto the way a smile wormed its way across his face and how his body swayed to the faint melody of whatever Christmas Carol he had been humming. It had taken the two of you a while, but before long, a warm home cooked meal was ready to be eaten at the kitchen table. 

Dustin sat between Amy and Em, at the former’s request. It wasn’t surprising. Uncle Dustin was her idol and everything he did was interesting to her. Amy herself seemed much better after her nap. She had apparently forgotten about the whole Santa conversation and was quick to lose herself in the mashed potatoes on her plate. Much to your chagrin, she discovered how her spoon could be used as the perfect catapult (something you felt sure you could blame Dustin for teaching her at some point). Fortunately, said brother appeared the target of the projectiles, so perhaps he already had his just desserts moment. 

“Amy, bean, don’t play with your food,” you pleaded as you reached over to wipe her hands free of the starchy side dish. The next task you busied yourself with was cleaning up the spoon, which you planned on using to help feed her, should her escapades get out of hand. 

“My paddews!!” Amy howled sadly. She reached her arms out toward you as you wiped at the utensil before ultimately deciding to swap it for a new one. 

“….your what?” Steve couldn’t hide his smile at her antics. 

“Her paddles, obviously,” Dustin came to his faithful niece’s aid. He looked far too proud in your opinion, aside from the glob of potatoes still stuck in his curly hair. “Her paddles to guide her on her latest curiosity journey.”

You sighed, and were about to chide your brother for providing the spark for too much curiosity, when there was a knock on the door. Confused, you turned to Steve with a knit brow and frown. “Were you expecting anyone else?” 

Your husband shook his head. “No,” he replied. “Could be carolers, though. It’s around that time.” 

The knock sounded again — three short ones to be exact, separated with a brief pause each time. It continued two more times before a quick double tap. When the cycle repeated, you could almost make out the familiar beat of jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way….

“Maybe the girls should answer it!” Dustin supplied suddenly. “I think it might be a good idea to start teaching them some independence during this wonderful time we call the holiday season, don’t you?”

Steve narrowed his eyes at your brother in suspicion. “What are you up to, Henderson?”

“Me? Oh, uh, nothing! Nothing at all! Can’t an uncle want to teach his nieces some life skills during Christmas?!”

When the knocking repeated its rhythm for a third time, you heard the low mumble of laughter coming from outside. “Ho Ho Ho,” a deep voice let out. “Is this the Harrington residence?” 

You blinked and looked from the door in the hallway over to your brother, who merely smirked and gave a small shrug. “I told you. I had to make a call.” 

Without another word, you and Steve got up from the table and picked up a daughter each. As you neared the front door, you could see the shadow of a very familiar looking hat. Turning the doorknob and opening the door, you were surprised. Sporting a belly as jiggly as a bowl full of jelly and nose as red as a cherry was the man in red himself: Santa Claus. You felt your heart swell as you glanced up at his sparkling eyes and incredibly bushy white beard. 

Jim Hopper gave you a small wink as he leaned down to smile at both of your girls. “Well, hello here, Amelia and Emery,” he said in an overly deep voice. “Merry Christmas. Do you know who I am?”

Em could hardly keep herself from flying out of Steve’s arms. “FANTA!” she exclaimed. “FANTA CLAWS!” 

Amy, on the other hand, was as frozen as an icicle in your hold. She blinked at the man before her in fear. Your heart broke to see her lower lip quiver in what you could only assume was an indication of an upcoming tantrum — something you rarely experienced with your typically quiet child. 

As though he could sense the impending doom, “Santa” turned his attention over to Amy. “I heard from my elves at the North Pole that you two were some of the first kids on the nice list this year,” he said in a jolly tone. “That’s pretty impressive, so I thought I might drop by and give you a little something special early.” 

With a wink, he turned behind him to brandish a red and gold embroidered sack. You let out a small snort at his antics, wiggling his white-gloved fingers before reaching dramatically into the bag to pull out a small mailbox outfitted in red and green paper. Along the side of the box in gold lettering was written, For Santa’s Eyes Only. With a smile, he held it out to you and Amy. “No one else has one quite like this,” he exaggerated his whisper. “You and your sister are the only ones that’ll be able to have direct contact with us up in the North Pole. You can be my little helpers, okay? Can I count on you two?” 

Em grinned. “YESH!” she shouted in excitement. 

“Santa” returned her grin in a similar fashion. “Why thank you, Miss Emery,” he replied, turning to face you and Amy. “Now, what about you, Miss Amelia?”

Almost in deep thought, Amy hesitated before waving her hand in a “come hither” motion. With a confused smile, “Santa” obeyed and leaned his ear closer to hear her whispers. After a moment, he grinned and gave a jolly laugh. “Oh, I think we can definitely manage that,” he replied with a smile. “You two take care of that special mailbox for me, alright? I have to head back to the North Pole to help the elves get ready for Christmas. I heard Rudolph may have gotten loose in the kitchen again.”

After saying your goodbyes and sending a silent thanks to Hopper, your little family made your way back inside. Em was far too excited and eager to tell Dustin about their latest visitor, jumping around the mailbox you had set on the living room coffee table as she shared the story. Even Amy was in far better spirits. Later that night, she asked for your help to write her first original letter to Santa, thanking him for stopping by and keeping their little secret. 

When you asked Dustin what she meant by that the next day, he only smiled and gave you a wink. “Never trust an uncle and his nieces around a cookie jar, my dear sibling,” he responded rather dramatically, “for it only leads to temptation.”

==================

Author's Note: Dad Steve is back everyone and he brought his adorable little munchkins alongside him. You all seemed to love Amy and Emery so much with my thanksgiving fic, Recipe for Family, I just had to bring them back. They are absolutely adorable and I would be lying if I said I didn't squeal several times whilst writing this fic!

If you want to see more dad!Steve fics on my blog or during Stevemas, make sure to leave a comment or reblog! These two interactions really help me understand what you all like to see from me -- plus it gives me the motivation to keep writing/posting. I'm not sure if it's Tumblr eating my posts or if I'm just picking the wrong times, but it would really make my day to see how many people are enjoying my first Tumblr event! If you have any suggestions for future fics, send me an ask or DM and I would love to chat with you about it. Who knows...maybe it'll end up on the fic schedule ;)

Until next time, my little sparks <3

Taglist: @bakerstreethound

(Want to join the taglist? Let me know! :) )

[aesopsharpmybeloved]

Tess' Sharpuary - 11. Moste Potente Potions

Aesop and his partner go undercover to investigate suspicious activity at the Minstry's records, and he remembers just how much he always enjoyed brewing...

chapter specific tags: case fic, friendship, attempts at humour

relationships: aesop sharp & aesop's auror partner

11. Moste Potente Potions (2.7k)

tw: sexual themes (implied/mentioned briefly), mention of off-screen death, my attempts to be funny

Aesop weighed the potion book in his hands. It had been years since he last held it, and even longer since he last brewed something in it. Ever since he graduated Hogwarts, actually. The knowledge necessary to apply for and complete the Auror Recruitment programme was mostly theoretical, such as successfully identifying a potion or a poison by its colour and smell, rather than actively brewing any concoctions - the ministry had special people for that kind of job.

However, seeing as their current objective was to be as inconspicuous as possible, he and Ashley thought it for the best it was him who got this job done. Well - it was more Ashely than he…

—

“You cannot be serious.” Aesop frowned at his partner from where he was sitting, his feet atop his desk. He was in the middle of a little pause, casually throwing a Galleon up into the air before catching it mid-fall once more, when Ashely came in with the news.

The woman walked in, and sat into her chair: “Of course I’m joking, in fact, our current objective is to impersonate Puffskeins instead,” she said dryly. “Hilarious,” noted Aesop, putting his feet down and turning towards his oldest friend, “Why the theatrics? We could go undercover without impersonating those two dolts.  Not to mention they should be capable of getting the answers themselves.”

For some time now, whispers going around the Ministry hinted at there being someone with connections to a Welsh crime ring among the workers. Therefore, when a young couple working in Records arrived at the Auror office, claiming their new colleagues were acting rather suspiciously, Aesop and Ashley were called on the job.  Aesop found the job somewhat banal, but the urgency seemed to stem from their boss wanting to uncover the traitor.

“They’re abhorrent actors,” Ashley remarked, “The buggers already called them out for acting strange, imagine how weird they’re going to be when we ask them to actively spy on their colleagues,” said Ashley, cringing at the recent memory of Mrs Barbara Treadway trying to act nonchalantly at her request. Poor people would burn a hole in the ground from how much they’d be blushing. “Besides, I already brought the idea up with the boss, and he gave it a green.” Aesop groaned. 

 "There's just one hitch," she added. "We're out of polyjuice." Sharp opened his eyes to look at her. “What do you mean we’re out of polyjuice? We literally have an entire crate of it in one of the storerooms, exactly for this kind of mission.” Ashley grimaced at him shortly: “Correction. We had an entire crate of it. But then the Bradley case happened and, well…” 

Aesop sighed and scooted his chair over at his partner’s desk. “So we’ll just have to buy some, and label it investigation expenses, I suppose” he said simply, "Banal case, unnecessary twists. Great…" 

“Honestly, I just think it’d be better if you brewed it,” she replied, resting her chin on her hand, peering at him blankly. Aesop blinked confusedly: “What, why?!” 

“You remember what the Chief said two weeks ago…”

Aesop did remember. While Chief Auror sent praises their way most of the time, after Ashley’s and his last case, they were admonished for some of their actions as well - not enough discretion, namely. He said it wasn’t the first time he noticed this in their cases, and that the two of them weren’t careful enough in their investigations. The Bradley case (which they didn’t work on) having brought several dead as well did not help the situation.

Ashley suggested, "Brewing it ourselves might show that we're taking his advice seriously, keeping this job nice and secret." Aesop sighed, "So instead of a quick buy, we drag this on for a month while I brew it. And what makes you think I still know how to brew it? It's been years since I brewed anything!"

His partner gave him a smile: “You, my friend, have my complete trust.” Aesop rolled his eyes again.

—

So, that’s where was now, flipping through Moste Potente Potions, the old book he once used during his studies. It was quite worn after the years it spent in not only his care, but also that of his mother, but despite its years and the amount of uses, its condition was still more than acceptable. 

He couldn’t deny that he felt slightly nervous. While he did graduate at the top of his class when it came to potions, it was not a skill that came natural to him. He invested hours upon hours of work into it, having started out as a very average student. Despite this fact, he always greatly enjoyed the art of potion-making. The precision that was required, having to abide by the strict instructions, and the utmost joy when he was successful in his endeavours, he loved every second of it.

And even now, though he had a rough-ish beginning (almost having forgotten he was using a copper cauldron and not a pewter one), he soon fell right back into the routine of cutting, crushing, and stirring. He watched his own hands adding the various ingredients in expert motions, noted how finely he had crushed the bicorn horn. He always knew he wanted to become an Auror, but as he brewed, he decided that being a potioneer wouldn’t be exactly a punishment either.

And then, when he finally stirred counter-clockwise for the last time, he was happy to find out he hadn’t lost his skill. The potion was perfect, and he felt no small amount of pride. If Ashley and he are able to portion it just right, they might be able to use it for three days straight. Aesop, admittedly, first wanted to make a smaller batch, believing they’d be done within the first day of their undercover job, but Ashley insisted they were cautious once more, and that was that.

They were ready. 

Both of them met with the couple from Records on several occasions to discuss the way they should behave while disguised as them, and when they stood together at the place from which the Treadways usually departed when going to the Ministry, they knew it was now or never.

Ashley, who was now a head shorter than normal, with mousy hair, round glasses, and big grey eyes, was fixing Aesop's tie. Aesop too was shorter than normally, and had a very delicate, boyish, and nearly pretty face. 

“I think next time we should switch,” Ashley said, and Mrs Treadway’s high pitched soft voice left her lips, “I get to be a man, and you a small delicate woman. Could be fun.” Aesop chuckled: “Fun? I thought we were supposed to be cautious and discreet.” Ashley grimaced at him: “We would be. It'd be just a new challenge, one that we could use to get better.”

He didn't reply, and instead threw some floo powder into the flame before them: “Ladies first.”

—

Aesop was right when he was certain it'd only be a one-day job. Only not in the way he thought.

Augustus Buckman and Hobson Teague were a pair of men who came to Records over from Magical transportation. Reason for the relocation? Personal reasons, apparently. No further comment was given on the subject by anyone. 

Aesop's and Ashley's job was to find out all that they could straight from the horse's mouth, and possibly find out where they were on 14th June earlier this year, as both of them took a day off work, and it happened to also be the day a Muggle jewellery shop was robbed using magic. So the couple of Aurors went to attend to their duties as temporary record keepers, both keeping an eye out for either one of the two men.

They didn't have to, the pair found them themselves. “There you are!” said the one who matched the description of Augustus. A young man with a pointy face and mischievous eyes. “Finally, Hobby and I thought you were avoiding us!” He said jovially. “A-avoiding you! Oh, no, not at all! Me and Mortimer here were just terribly, terribly busy these past few weeks! You know how it goes, new house, lots to do!” Ashley played her part of ever-nervous Mrs Treadway perfectly. Another man, one who Aesop bet was Teague appeared shortly after. He was older than the other fellow, and looked shabbier.

The group of four worked together for a while, with the two men being terribly friendly, and the Aurors in disguise playing the role of awkward young couple so well, neither of their suspect's noticed a single oddity.

It didn't take very long at all before Hobson said: “So… Before you got so busy, we talked about meeting up in privacy - we have an offer for you.” Aesop could see his partner's eyes light up momentarily, but she soon schooled her face into Mrs Treadway’s mask once more. “A-an offer, you say? Uh, well, what sort of offer?” The older man got very close, nearly uncomfortably so and whispered: “A sort of offer that's better unheard by anyone else… Why don't you meet us in the office after the shift, nobody ever hangs around there in the afternoon.” And with that, he walked off, followed by a grinning Buckman.

“So… what do you think?” Ashley asked quietly, looking at Aesop from the corner of her eye. “Well… suspicious, definitely, but I can't think up into what sort of illicit business they would want to drag these two sods. The real Treadways would've wet themselves by now,” Aesop replied grumpily, prompting Ashley to click her tongue at him in reproach.

“Maybe they want them to be strawmen for them? Or scapegoats?” The woman offered, returning to her work. Aesop hummed in reply neither agreeing with or denying her hypothesis.

They waited until the very last workers left for the evening, and then made their way over to the office. The two men were already there, an open bottle of firewhisky and four glasses on one of the desks. “There they are!” announced Hobson, and immediately began pouring out the liquor. “So, uh… what is this all about?” Aesop asked, checking the room for any potential danger covertly, while taking a hold of Ashley's shoulders like a loving husband would. “Let's drink first, break the ice, loosen up a little,” Augustus laughed as he pressed a glass into his and Ashley's hand.

Aesop's hands squeezed upon Ashley's shoulders. ‘Do not drink it,’ he tried to tell her through the touch. Not a second later did her own free hand come up to squeeze his: ‘Don’t worry’. The group clinked their glasses, and both Aesop and Ashley did one of the tricks they were taught as Aurors - pretend to drink something without taking a single sip. It sounded easy, but it truly wasn't - the trick was to use wandless magic to vanish some of the liquid in glass in time while pretending to sip and swallow. Even older, more experienced Auror's had problems doing more than a little bit at a time.

“You don't drink much, do you boy?” The older man asked, slapping his large hand on Aesop's shoulder and making him wince. Damn, this smaller body was a lot weaker than his normal one. “Now look here,” Hobson said, “I've been told I'm rubbish at explaining this sort of thing, so Auggie here will do it for me. Will you, love?”

Wait.

Love?

“So, this may sound a little strange, especially if you never heard about it before, but Hobbie and I, well, we occasionally like to… let's say, bring some people over to visit us. In our bed I mean. And we-”

Merlin's saggy left bollock!

Aesop screamed inwardly. He didn't know what exactly he was expecting, but it was definitely not a couple of swingers looking for someone new to play with. He was frankly rather annoyed, but he was sure Ashley was laughing like a madwoman on the inside.

“And you two are such lovely people, and so we thought we'd extend this offer to you. You don't have to worry, we don't bite! Well, we do, but only with consent, what I mean is that if you were interested, we could take things slow, and see where it takes us. What do you say?”

Once more, Aesop marvelled at Ashley's skillful acting. Or maybe she wasn't acting this time? Nevertheless, the woman before him grew as red as a tomato and began sputtering for dear life. Aesop, while nearly completely sure these two idiots were not the criminals they were looking for, risked a question to confirm his suspicions, being sure to speak in Mr Treadway’s indecisive manner: “Uh, I-... Well, that's… are you saying you… you did this before?”

The younger man grinned: “Oh yes! We met this very nice Swedish couple during the summer, and spent some time with them before they left. We even took some time off to be able to be with them for one more day before they had to return home. Does that mean you're interested?”

“NO! I mean, uh… please, don't take any offence, you're both… delightful people, I'm sure, but Barbie here and I, well, we're not really… we're not really looking for… this kind of thing.” Aesop grit out, trying his best to imitate the poor Mr Treadway, who would’ve most likely fainted already during such a conversation.

“Oh…” Augustus said, his face falling. “I told you they weren't the type, Auggie, but you wouldn't budge…” said Hobsman in a placating voice, coming up behind the younger man and placing his hand on his shoulder. “I was so certain this time though… I, um… I don't suppose there is a way we could… forget about the whole thing, is there?” He turned towards the disguised Auror’s once more. “Come now, Augustus, don't be silly. The sooner we start packing, the better,” Hobsman said, leading his companion away.

“P-packing? What do you mean, packing?” Ashley found her voice once more. Well, her voice…  “We used to work at the Magical transport department, and Augustus here got a desperate little crush on the secretary there. He kept convincing me the fellow was of our way of thinking until I gave in, and we offered him and his wife to join us. Long story short, they took offence and didn't want to be in the same workspace as us anymore. And I'm guessing you won't either,” Teague explained, running his arms up and down the younger man's arms.

“You don't have to leave…” Ashley said then, “we can forget this ever happened. Can't we, Morty?” Aesop cleared his throat uncomfortably, but soon nodded his head: “Of course. This never happened. We won't bring it up to anyone.”

Both men looked at them, then at each other and smiled. “We appreciate it, you don't even know how much. It's no fun flying from department to department like a Golden snitch!” Augustus said, his previous disappointment replaced by cheerfulness once more.

The group disbanded after one more drink (one that the couple of disguised Aurors actually swallowed this time), and with that, they were off. Just in time, too, the Polyjuice wore off just as they left the Ministry.

“So… that was a wild ride,” Aesop noted as he led Ashley to his house through the darkened village of Willow Creek where they Flooed. He had to admit, despite his annoyance, he was also rather amused. He made their clothes, which were now entirely too small on them, fit once more while they walked. “You tell me,” Ashley agreed, actually laughing.

“So. What do we tell the Chief? And the Treadways?” She asked after they stepped over the threshold, both immediately making their way to the kitchen for something to eat. “To the Chief? That they're no longer suspects. We'll contact the department of International Magical Cooperation, check out that Swedish couple, and hand in the report that says that our ‘criminals’ are just a couple of blokes who like to indulge in consensual extramarital affairs. And the Treadways? Nothing. Just that their colleagues aren't suspicious at all.”

“Won't we tell them about the offer?” Ashley persisted, accepting the apple Aesop threw her way to munch on before he made them something to eat. “Why?” He asked, “it never happened. Remember?” A knowing look spread on her face, and she grinned quickly before biting into the apple.

“What about the rest of the Polyjuice potion?” Aesop asked as he summoned various food items to make into a meal. “Keep it,” his partner said, “you never know when you might find a use for it.”

---

Thank you very much for reading 😘

[Ao3] - [Sharpuary 2024] - [Masterlist]

[rottingcorps3s]

"Icebreaker" - S.R.

Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!Reader

The ice is quite literally broken between Ghost and his partner. Rating: 16+, nothing crazy :) Warnings: Nudity, mentions of hypothermia, that's about it! Word count: 1.5k A/N: I read something like this not too long ago, but for the life of me cannot remember who the person was who wrote it or if it was even a part of this fandom. If you know, please let me know and I will give credit where credit is due, but I wanted to write my own version! I also posted this on Ao3. I also left the end open, as I may end up doing a part two for this. AND AS ALWAYS, this is not proofread because WHO HAS THE TIME??? Hope you enjoy!

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” she asked, genuine curiosity in her eyes as he craned his neck to look at her for a moment. She was a few feet behind him, attempting to stabilize herself on the ice, but failing to do so as she wobbled back and forth.

“What?” He grumbled, he knew what she said, but he was confused by her question.

“I saaaid, do you believe in love at first sight?” she asked again.

“Why are you asking me this?”

“Because I need to know if I should walk by again.” She said simply, a shit-eating grin spreading across her face as she attempted to keep her composure.

Not this shit again. He sighed to himself. He chose to ignore her cheesy line and picked up his pace slightly, their destination was now in sight as the wooden shack was going to be their safe zone for the night.

“Oh, come on, big cat,” she laughed to herself, using her chosen pet name for him that he asked her time and time again to not use, but she was fucking stubborn. It’s a code name. She’d argued. I already have one. He’d argue back. Yeah, but this one’s special because it’s from me. “You know, you should try meditating, it might help with getting that stick out of your ass.” “Or even better, you should get a massage, y’know, I know this really good place down the street from my apartment that does special massages, if you know what I mean, and I highly recommend it.” She smirked to herself, continuing to ramble on. Once again he chose to ignore her. His focus was set on getting to the safe house and getting the fuck home. She kept talking, and his body was on autopilot, giving a quick nod or a hum every few sentences as an acknowledgment of her talking.

The screech of her voice calling his name, Simon, was the last thing he heard before he watched her head disappear under the frozen lake.

“No, no, no, fuck,” he cursed to himself as he watched her struggle to keep her head above the freezing water. He acted as quickly as he possibly could, but carefully enough to not break the ice again. He fell onto his front and army crawled his way towards her panicking form, the position offered little help in attempting to lift her out but would help keep his weight distributed. Her eyes were wide with panic, her lips now turning blue and the skin on her face was bright red from the bite of the water. He finally reached her, quickly grabbing onto her arms to pull them over the edge of the ice so she was able to keep her head above the water as he attempted to get her out the rest of the way. She shivered uncontrollably, unable to say anything due to the shock of the water temperature as she looked at him with pleading eyes.

“I got you, don’t worry.” He reassured as he grabbed onto her gear and used it as leverage to pull her up and out. He carefully dragged her across the ice, getting a safe distance away before standing up and pulling her up with him. She struggled to stand on her own, gripping tightly onto his sleeve and digging her nails in for support. He turned his back to her and helped her climb up, securing her legs on his hips and wrapping her arms around his shoulders and neck. He kept one hand gripped on her thigh to keep her from slipping down, and the other held her hands together in front of his face for extra support.

Her body had stopped shivering at this point, which only made him panic as he knew her body was falling into a state of hypothermia. He could feel her ragged breathing against his neck as she attempted to cling to him for warmth but found it impossible in her soaking-wet clothes. The rest of the walk to the safe house felt like agony, for both. He kicked the door the second they approached it and was met with an empty room with a small fireplace in the corner. He gently slid her down his back and onto the floor before the soon-to-be fire. He worked quickly in pulling out his gear and knew exactly where he’d kept his fire starter. She whimpered quietly next to him, mumbling a few words out, cold, cold, Simon, cold. The fire was soon ablaze, and he let out a deep sigh of relief. His next step was getting her warm, and he knew the quickest way to do it.

He turned to her next, beginning to take off her gear one by one, her mask came first as the hat she once wore was long gone under the depths of the icy cold water. He pulled her backpack off her back and next came to her gear which he expertly tore off, throwing it to the side as he unzipped her coat with his free hand. He shimmied it off her shoulders and forced her to raise her arms as he gripped the bottom of her long sleeve shirt and tore it over her head. His arms circled around her form as he reached behind her and undid the clasp of her bra. She attempted to nuzzle into his embrace and was able to absorb a sliver of his heat for a split second before he retreated and began undoing her belt; she whimpered at the loss of contact. Her boots and socks came first as he chucked him aside with a loud thud against the wall and gripped the bottom of her tactical pants and yanked them down. He continued to work quickly and as respectfully as he could; he made quick eye contact with her before gripping onto the pair of underwear she was wearing and pulling them off. Her skin was red, and splotchy and felt like ice to the touch. He turned back to his gear and pulled out the emergency blanket that was folded neatly in the corner of his bag and threw it over her, tucking it underneath herself.

Now it was his turn to undress. He stood tall over her, quickly removing his skull mask, but leaving on his balaclava. He undressed similarly to how he did her but left on his boxers and socks. The heat from the fire burnt hot against his chest, but it was the opposite for his back, and it was exposed to the icy cold emptiness of the safe house. He positioned himself beside her on the ground, pulling up one side of the blanket, and scootched himself close to her. She immediately reacted, turning to face him as she gripped tightly onto him, her arms wrapping around his bare torso and shoving her face into his chest. He cringed at how cold her skin felt against his, gently rubbing up and down her arms to transfer his body heat to hers the best he could. Her nails drug across his skin as she attempted to pull him closer, her legs entangling themselves with his as she shivered beside him.

This went on for several minutes, her body slowly coming back up to temperature and her mind beginning to make sense of the situation. The adrenaline slowly wore off the longer she gripped onto him, her awareness of how close and how naked they had hit her like a truck and caused her cheeks to heat up. She knew he was a big guy, hence the nickname big cat. But seeing him exposed without his gear on only made her realize how much bigger he was. His shoulders were broad, and his skin was speckled in freckles, scars, and tattoos here and there. His arms were even bigger than she had imagined, his biceps were practically the size of her head, and his torso was strong, muscular, and built to withstand anything that came at him. The fire roared behind her as she admired his face through the balaclava, it wasn’t much different without the skull mask but allowed her to see a hint more of the shape of his features. His nose was sharp, and his chin jutted out perfectly. She could just barely make out the shape of his lips and smirked to herself as she admired them.

His eyes were closed and had been closed for most of the time they lay there, but he didn’t fall asleep, he couldn’t. He felt her shift slightly in his grip and he peaked one eye open and was met with her gaze. A shit-eating grin spread across her face. He knew what was coming.

“Aye, Lt,” she spoke, breaking the illusion of peacefulness he thought he had, “if you wanted to get me naked all you had to do was ask.”

[theultimaterealitysurfer]

My Empyrean DR Script (that I will write on here, so that I actually finish it 😭)

Me

First Name: Sebastian

Middle Name: Fynn

Last Name: Riorson

Nickname(s): Seb; Sebby

Pronouns: He/Him

Species: Human

Age: 23

Description: Black hair (wolfcut)(I love wolfcuts, and I don’t care if it’s impractical, I MISS MY LONG HAIR); Olive skin (even though I’m as pale as the moon in my CR); Black eyes flecked with lighter brown; Lean, muscular body (I need to be in shape here or I will die, so luckily I’m in control of this and can script that I’m not a blob that lays on the couch every single day); Top and bottom surgery scars (you bet your ass I have those); Fully transitioned (love that testosterone); Huge black dragon relic covering my back; Rebellion relic covering my chest; Lots of scars all over my body

Positive Trait(s): Intelligent (I need to be able to not be a dipshit and die immediately); Clever (same thing); Good memory (say bye bye to all those days of dissociation and maladaptive daydreaming in my CR, now I will remember EVERYTHING there); Quiet (of course I’m quiet, have to keep up the mysterious act, plus I’m too overstimulated and socially awkward for this shit); Thoughtful (my mind is always stuffed); Nice (even though I’m quiet and don’t talk much, I am pretty nice when you talk to me first)

Negative Trait(s)(yes, I’m gonna script them, just to give myself some flavor): Trusting (making friends wise, always end up getting hurt or stabbed in the back, literally and figuratively)

Dragon Type: Black Morningstartail (I JUST LOVED TAIRN SO MUCH, I HAD TO MAKE THE DRAGON I’M BONDED TO A BLACK MORNINGSTARTAIL TOO)

Dragon Name: Aodhan (do we know how to pronounce his name here? no. will we script that we do know it? yes)

Signet Power(s): Time Manipulation (can go back in time) and Reality Manipulation (can make my imagination real life)

Weapon(s): Daggers and Swords (I love me some sharp things)

Parent(s): None (dead)(it’s literal canon that Xaden’s parents died[along with all the other parents that were part of the rebellion]so yeah)

Sibling(s): Xaden Riorson; Liam Mairi (adoptive brother)

Other Family Member(s): Brodhi Durran (cousin)

Best Friend(s): Xaden Riorson (I’m besties with my brother, I know, I can do that); Liam Mairi (same thing); Violet Sorrengail (I’m the one who ends up being the body guard for her, not Liam); Brodhi Durran (I love my family); Ridoc Gamlyn (I adore him, it’s gonna be interesting all the talks we will have [I am scared that most of them will be about sex he had or people that he likes, help me]); Heaton (I love my non-binary pals); Garrick Tavis

Friend(s): Imogen Cardulo (I love her hair); Rhiannon Matthias (bisexual queen, go girl)

Partner(s): None (I am single forever, thank the almighty gays)

Gender Identity: TransGuy

Romantic Orientation: Aromantic

Sexual Orientation: Asexual

Other Orientation(s): Ambiamorous; Panalterous; Panaesthetic

Extra Fact(s): Liam does not die (I was sobbing when it happened); Homework is effortless and easy always (I don’t want to work too hard or make it take up so much time); I am a skilled painter/artist (something to do when I’m not doing homework, have training, have secret rebellion meetings with Xaden and the rest, or guarding Violet); I wear ear plugs a lot of the time (because I’m overstimulated a lot, but I still manage); Probably have some anxiety and PTSD (not that I don’t have anxiety already and probably have some form of PTSD here-); I keep my head easily (no panicking for me, though, even though I know, realistically, that contrasts with the anxiety, but I want to live and also have my sparkle at the same time); I know how to pronounce Aodhan’s name perfectly; Garrick and Imogen are together (Imogen needs her love too); I cannot die; None of my best friends or friends can die; Xaden, Liam, and Brodhi cannot die

Specific Affirmations For This DR: “I am with Aodhan”; “I am Xaden’s brother”; “I am in Basgiath College”; “I am in my dorm room”; “I am training with Ridoc”

Safe Word/Phrase: “Put the lime in the coconut and shake it all up.” (don’t ask)

Me in this DR (Picrew Form):

Probably will add to this more. Maybe will post some individual scenarios for this DR.