#i literally just build her construct and then immediately had this stupid idea

[ness-illustration]

Get in the Mineru Link.

[escelia]

DP x DC PROMPT/FIC

Gotham Portal

(If you get the notif for this post like 2 days ago, no you didn't! I wasn't done yet! You were imagining things!)

Where the story takes place in Gotham instead of Amity Park, the Fentons having moved before the construction and testing of the Ghost portal due to the high saturation of ectoplasm in Gotham. So, Danny's accident ALSO happens in Gotham, except he has no support system at all.

Enter the Bats stage left!

Danny couldn't believe he'd been so stupid. His parents had uprooted their whole life to move to Gotham. They said they'd need all the ambient ectoplasm there for when they built their portal. Jazz had been thrilled! After all, Arkham was a shining beacon of mentally ill people, and Jazz was like a psychology moth to a flame; it would be the perfect place for her internship after college.

His parents had wasted no time assembling the portal from their blueprints in the basement of the run-down apartment building they'd bought outright just on the edge of Crime Alley, complete with the Ops Center parked right on top. They'd gutted the place and completely redone it before they moved in. (Danny had no idea when they accomplished that. Maybe they'd been planning it for a while and only thought to tell their children two weeks before moving day.) He was genuinely surprised the local vigilantes hadn't stopped by yet to ask questions.

But anyway, back to how he was royally screwed! He'd just wanted a cool picture for Sam and Tucker now that he'd moved away. His parents weren't home (they'd gone back to the hardware store after their last test), Jazz had stayed after school to try and butter up her new teachers by running a study group, and he'd been alone. He'd even followed all the safety precautions his parents had told him about! He'd put on the hazmat suit and tried not to touch anything. But he'd tripped.

Through the whirling of green and the static buzzing in his ears, he remembered screaming, though he hadn't recognized it as his own. Every nerve in his body was on fire, and he just wanted it to stop. Stop, please stop, why won't someone save me, please!

He woke up to the smell of burning flesh, but he woke up. He was okay! Disoriented, a little disgusted by the smell and throat a little raw, but okay!

At least he'd thought so at first.

He'd begun to... change colors? And float, he floated sometimes, too. But the most irritating of all was that he would go through things. Forks and glasses slipping, quite literally, right through his fingers.

He hadn't told his parents. He'd been fine, after all. A little shaken up, but they'd been so excited he'd gotten the portal to work, who was he to put a damper on the mood when he was fine?

That brought him to now, staring at the mirror in the school bathroom in horror. He'd fought his first real ghost that morning around breakfast. He'd kept it together fairly well, in his opinion. Got through three whole classes before making an excuse to the teacher, slipping off into the blessedly empty restroom.

He'd been getting better and better at controlling his form, and he transformed in front of the mirror, taking stock of his appearance.

Odd colored hair: check.

Bright glowing eyes: check.

Floaty hair: check.

Could walk through walls, disappear, and fly: check.

He raised his finger to his pulse point and felt... nothing.

"I died," he whispered to himself in shock. "I... died," he repeated, this time in despair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian Wayne was not usually one to keep tabs on his classmates. They weren't his friends, therefore he saw no point. However, the new kid, Daniel Fenton, had begun to act strange.

When Daniel Fenton enrolled in Gotham Academy it hadn't been anything special. He'd started the year a little last due to his family moving, but families moved for all sorts of reasons. He hadn't tried to immediately make friends with Damian like so many others had, much to his relief. But he hadn't tried to make friends with anyone else, either. Maybe he liked to be alone? It really wasn't his business.

But then the boy started getting skittish and clumsy. Clumsier than he had been when he started school. He'd developed a miniscule tremor in his left hand, so he'd probably sustained an injury. He began dropping things in Chemistry. So often, in fact, that he'd been banned from doing practical labs and was instead assigned extra book work.

If Damian had been anyone else, if he hadn't been raised by assassins or had his night work as Robin, he wouldn't have noticed. He wouldn't have followed Fenton to the bathroom under the guise of needing to see the school nurse for a headache. Perhaps if he were anyone else, Fenton might have noticed him following.

There was an alarming flash of light as Damian peered carefully around the corner. Fenton had changed forms. Something had happened to him.

"I died," he heard him say. Damian thought he was being dramatic until he watched him raise his fingers to his pulse point. His glowing eyes dilated in panic, and he repeated himself. He watched as his classmate, looking fragile and lost, curled in on himself floating in the air, and sobbed.

Damian didn't confront him that day. He watched, waited, and researched. He found the research of Dr's Fenton on ghosts and ectoplasm, most of which he was skeptical of up until actual ghosts started to torment them during patrols.

Ghosts were real, it appeared.

He also concluded that their findings on ectoplasmic entities being non-sentient and inherently malevolent was incorrect, having met the ghost of a little girl caught up in a rouge attack that killed her and her family.

Damian watched Daniel Fenton for about a week while he ditched class in a poorly hidden effort to fight and contain the ghosts that he and his family were having such a hard time dealing with. His father was even nearly considering contacting John Constantine, which was never his ideal solution. Damian had been rolling an idea around in his head for a while and he decided now would be the time to bring it up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner at the manor was more of a full table than Damian had expected. Not everyone was there, Jason's relationship with them was still a bit strained, so he was not in attendance, and neither was Stephanie. But Duke was home, and Dick was actually there early for patrol later. Tim was there, and so was Cass, so almost everyone.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat politely. "Father, I wish to recruit a new member."

The chatter around the room came to a halt, the clatter of silverware ceasing.

"What exactly do you mean, chum?" Bruce asked carefully.

"I have a classmate I believe would be a valuable asset in light of our trouble with ghosts recently. However, he has no training or support, so I'm asking for your assistance."

"Did... demon brat make a friend?" Tim asked bewildered and a little bit terrified.

"Tt. No, I've never even spoken to him." Damian rolled his eyes. "My classmate, Daniel Fenton, transferred to Gotham Academy about a month ago and started acting strange soon after. He came to school with a tremor and a Lichtenberg figure you can just barely see starting on his left hand and traveling up his arm. I believed he'd been in an accident, and my suspicions were proven when I saw him use meta abilities to ditch class and fight a ghost in the courtyard of the school. From my observations, they are newly acquired, but he has decent instincts and an inclination toward heroism. I believe it would be safer for everyone involved if we approached him first."

"What?" Tim muttered. Dick was smiling gently at him, though, as if he were doing something he was proud of.

"Do his parents know?" Duke asked. Damian scoffed.

"I highly doubt it."

"Wait, Fenton as in the ectobiologists?" Bruce asked. The ex-assassin nodded.

"And considering their research is not reflected in our own interactions with ghosts thus far, I do not believe we should tell them."

"Not safe?" Cass signed. Her brother shook his head.

"The abilities I've observed resemble that of a ghost. He even has an alternate ghostly form."

The implication that they'd be endangering him hung heavy in the air. They'd all seen the Fentons' research. It mostly consisted of theoretical analysis and blatant biases with a long list of proposed experiments they'd run if they ever caught one. They'd all agreed that the Fenton ghost hunters were not a viable option for their ghost problem, especially after seeing how they drove, which in itself nearly put them on the Bat's rogue list.

"We've been meaning to investigate the Fentons properly anyways," Dick pointed out.

Bruce attempted to massage a headache out of his temples. The stuff his kids stumbled into, really. But Damian was right. If his classmate was a new meta with no support, it was only a matter of time before the rogues zeroed in on him, and since his family lived there, he couldn't tell the kid to leave.

"I'm not saying yes just yet, but talk to him. Find out any more that you can."

"Of course, Father."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Danny finally felt like he was getting the hang of his ghost powers. He was pleasantly surprised, and also mildly horrified, that his parents' inventions actually worked on the ghosts he was now beginning to fight regularly. His favorite was by far the thermos, which did no ghost mutilating whatsoever.

He discovered he had a ghost sense and enhanced hearing and vision, which was cool and all, but now he could hear all the shitty things his classmates said about him behind his back. Which, rude! He didn't even talk to them, what did they have to be shitty about?

He also noticed that one of them, Damian Wayne, had been watching him. From what Danny had heard, Damian was the richest kid in school, a Wayne. Son of billionaire Bruce Wayne, to be exact. And his attitude reflected that. His standoffish, holier than thou rich guy attitude made Dash and Paulina look like they lived below the poverty line. Apparently, he generally didn't talk to anyone at school unless it pertained to class, so Danny saw no point in introducing himself.

That made it extra weird that Damian was following him.

It was right after lunch when a hiccup had a cold breath tumbling from his lips. He raised his hand and asked his teacher if he could use the restroom. He made his way to the bathroom on the other side of the building this time, hoping it would be too out of the way for Damian to follow. But soft rustling of his classmate's school uniform gave him away, no matter how imperceptible his footsteps were.

When he entered the restroom, he made his way to the sink instead, splashing some cold water on his face as Damian walked in behind him loudly as if announcing his presence.

"I know what you've been doing," he said confidently, crossing his arms and standing in front of the door so Danny couldn't leave.

"Oh, hey! Damian, right? I'm in most of your classes, but I don't think I've ever introduced myself. I'm-"

"Daniel Fenton, I know. You've been fighting ghosts." Damian had to give him at least a little credit; he'd become a great actor over the last week. Though, that probably had a lot to do with the fact that he probably didn't feel safe at home anymore.

"My parents are ghost hunters, but I don't think shooting a ghost in the face with a lipstick laser then running for my life counts as 'fighting ghosts'."

"Tt. You are lying."

"Dude, what are-?" Danny cut himself off when his words came with another misty breath. Crap! He'd taken too long!

The ghost of the day, an ugly, mutated, bird looking thing with claws at the ends of its wings and a full set of dangerous, pointed teeth, phased through the door behind Damian, poised to strike.

Without warning, Danny grabbed Damian's wrist and whipped him out of the way, throwing himself between the two. A green shield formed in front of him just as the bird slashed at them with one of its wings.

"Well, that's new," he said startled as the bird geared up for another attack.

Danny groaned at his miserable luck before throwing caution to the wind and transforming. He'd just have to force friendship upon one Damian Wayne in an attempt to keep him from telling anyone about his whole magical girl transformation. He tried to activate his shield again, but when nothing happened, he was flung across the room into the wall. God, this was embarrassing.

The next time the ghost tried to attack him, Damian yanked him aside in a dodge and bolted out of the bathroom with Danny in tow. He was dragged through the winding halls to one of the side exits of the school. In costume or not, Damian's priority was luring the ghost away from the other students.

"Hey, so uh, you won't say anything about this," he gestured wildly to himself, "will you?"

"Tt. Of course not, but I believe you have more important concerns at the moment."

“Right!” Danny patted at the sides of his hazmat suit. “Crap, I left my thermos in my locker!” He dodged another attack and retaliated with an ectoblast, trying to keep the ghost's attention off of Damian as much as possible.

"Your lunch? Really?" Damian shouted. Dang, Danny must have been doing a decent job if Damian had the spare time and attention to be exasperated with him.

"No! It's a containment device! Besides, ghosts are basically soup anyway!"

"Distract it," Damian instructed, "I'll retrieve the device." The boy took off. Danny had to wonder how he even knew where his locker was. The ghost tried to follow him, but Danny shot another blast at it.

"Hey ugly, auditioning to be one of Gotham's Birds? Sorry, but you don't really look the part." He had no idea if the creature could even understand him, but the way it turned to him and lunged again suggested it had done the trick. This time, his shield did work!

Danny could have cried tears of joy at finally having some consistency with it. The next few minutes of the fight felt like an eternity while he dodged and shot ectoblasts at it. The creature wasn't really that strong, and it didn't seem to have super dangerous abilities like some of the other ghosts he'd fought like Skulker or Technus. It ended up being a great opportunity to practice his new shield ability, actually. But he knew the longer he took, the more danger his classmates would be in.

The bird ghost slammed into his shield with a particularly vicious strike, slamming him into the ground and creating a small crater.

"Note to self, remember intangibility," Danny groaned.

In that moment he noticed a door opening on the school building. It was Damian! He was finally back with thermos in hand! Unfortunately, the other ghost noticed too.

"Oh no you don't!" Danny yelled, latching onto one of its feet as it tried to fly toward his classmate. He dug his fingers in hard and sunk into the ground partway to anchor himself.

"Big green button by the lid then the button immediately below it!"

Damian wasted no time popping the lid open and sucking the ghost into the device, the lid closing with a quiet pop. He had to admit, though the design was questionable, it was sturdy, light, and very clearly effective. He wondered if he could get away with sneaking off with this one to have drake examine later.

"That was some incredible timing, thanks." The ghostly form of his classmate floated over to him, taking the thermos from his hand. Damian did not pout.

"We should probably get out of here before the Fenton's show up." He could already hear the screech of tires and his dad's voice over the megaphone tearing through the air.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Don't worry honey, we'll catch that nasty ghost boy next time," Jack Fenton comforted his wife. True to form, the Fenton's had arrived to the scene late, and most of the damage to the school yard had been from their vehicle crashing into things upon their arrival. Parents had been called and classes ended for the day, which was how one Bruce Wayne found himself at Gotham Academy trying to help the teachers talk the two down from storming and searching the school.

His son was standing off to the side with one of his classmates. Dark hair, bright blue eyes, lanky frame; Bruce could have mistaken the child for one of his own, but looking between the hulking man in front of him and the kid standing next to Damian, the resemblance was obvious. That had to be Daniel Fenton, the meta his son had told him about. Which meant he'd been the one to deal with the ghost before anyone else had gotten there. The classmate Damian had suggested they recruit for his safety.

"Danno, did you see where that spook went? When I get my hands on him, I'll rip him apart molecule by molecule for even thinking of attacking your school!" Bruce saw Daniel's breath hitch with fear.

"Sorry, no. I was coming back from the bathroom when I saw him fighting another ghost through the window. I was scared so I hid," he lied, gripping his left wrist while he spoke.

Bruce was impressed. The boy's fear was real, and he used that to his advantage to really sell the lie to his parents. His heart ached for him. He couldn't imagine seeing any of his boys looking at him like that, with such fear and distrust.

"That's okay sweetie, we'll get him next time. We're just happy you're alright. Let's get you home," his mother comforted, though Bruce knew it wasn't very comforting at all.

"Yeah, we'll teach you to use the Fenton Bazooka," well that was horrifying, "that way next time you can just blast him!" Danny wanted literally anything else.

"Actually," Damian interrupted politely. "We were assigned a project in class earlier on the history of Gotham. As Daniel is relatively new to town, I offered to assist him with the assignment. Father, would it be acceptable for him to join us for dinner?"

Bruce would have been incredibly surprised his son was inviting someone over for dinner if he didn't see exactly what he was doing. Daniel wasn't safe at home. And he clearly wasn't comfortable with the way his parents spoke of the 'ghost boy'. If his defeated expression was anything to go by, it hadn't been the first time they'd said something like that, nor would it be the last.

"What do you think, Mr. and Mrs. Fenton? We'd love if Daniel could join us for dinner."

"Please, call us Maddie and Jack. That sounds wonderful Mr..."

"Wayne. Bruce Wayne, I'm Damian's father," he introduced. If the two recognized the name, they didn't show it. It worked out rather well in his favor.

"Mr. Wayne. If its not too much trouble, that would be wonderful. It's about time he made a new friend, he's been sulking since the move. Now, we have a ghost to catch!" Maddie planted a kiss on Danny's forehead, leaning her blaster on her shoulder as her and her husband made their way back to the homemade assault vehicle parked haphazardly on the lawn of the school.

"Be sure to call us if you plan on staying the night! We'll let Jazz know she doesn't have to worry about dinner for you! We love you, have fun sweetie!"

"Are they always like that?" Damian asked after the two had pulled away. How had those two even gotten their driver's license? It was truly abysmal, he dreaded the thought of anyone getting into a vehicle with them. And then there was the speed in which they'd dumped their son into their laps, even suggesting they'd be okay with him not coming home that night.

"They mean well, but yeah," Danny replied, heaving a sad and defeated sigh. "Thank you, by the way. For inviting me over, even if you didn't mean it. They can be a bit much."

"Clearly," Damian mused back.

Bruce watched the two interact and felt pride well up in his chest. Meeting the Fenton parents just once was enough to convince him that their son needed help, maybe even their daughter too. That Damian had taken the initiative to bring this to his attention, that he had stood up for Danny and offered his home as a sanctuary for him, made him so incredibly proud as a father. He wasn't as prickly with Danny the way he was with other people, even his own siblings. That was a very good thing indeed, considering it was looking more and more likely this would end with another adoption.

Maybe Clark was right, he did have an adoption problem.

[msommers]

lil baby intro post for riya ⚔️ because she's been confined to the dms for a hot minute. fellow players don’t click read more if you wanna avoid spoilers i guess lmao

smol pinterest section for vibes

her playlist is ridiculous spoiled party princess energy and i love it

born 2:84 glory in cumberland, nevarra which is!! part of the free marches way back when so that’s fun

the youngest child to duchess priscilla de clairmont and her husband loren. only daughter with four (4) whole older brothers, the oldest being born in 2:71. mama duchess is Huge in the city, controlling a large portion of its businesses and having a grand web of connections. aside from that, the family is known for its origin of nobility back in 1:16 divine during the second blight, when valeriya de clairmont (aka riya’s namesake) helped defeat the darkspawn in the battle of cumberland, earning her and her family an elevation into nobility. ((this has nothing to do with anything, but it’s important for me to know that everyone know her husband’s name is toussaint de clairmont and i’ll go to my grave happy with that absolutely troll of a name))

her magic manifested when she was 6 years old, inherited from her father and shared with one of her other brothers, magnus. she struggled with her studies, both magical and regular, and had a hard time getting better at it until her dad found out she's Vastly better once the "learn by doing" motto is in play.

she was given magic lessons by her father for a handful of years due to the nevarran circle having been wrecked in the recent past. her mom the big business baron made a deal with the circle and the new palace that she had constructed for the family was instead given to the circle, which riya then moved into and began proper circle teachings. she didn't Hate it but she didn't Love it, way too much reading went on for her liking :///

fell in love with the idea of becoming a participant in the free marches grand tourneys after her first attendance, immediately dedicated herself to one day being one of the mages participating in the event. started studying like mad to the surprise of everyone and trained hard, becoming a knight-enchanter as she saw it fitting and easily the most fun. a magic sword?? to use in a tourney??? c’mon bro, you Know there wasn’t any other choice

has extreme rich party girl energy due to her immense privilege as both the duchess’ daughter and living in the nevarran circle where they’re almost. ridiculously chill compared to literally everywhere else. she is only inside that building when it is absolutely required, otherwise she’s out spending time with family, attending social gatherings/events, or with a lover.

speaking of lovers!!! got herself a boyfriend after hooking up with another participant in the 31st tourney. in a totally unchill move, she was then framed for his murder at the end of the next tourney :/// mommy duchess was able to keep her from being immediately punished tho she was still held in prison, and eventually when it became clear that they wouldn’t be able to get her out of it, riya’s dad and older brother busted her out of there. she was sent on her way with a stupid big amount of money and was probably expected to just lay tf low for however long it took and eventually meet back up with family, but she’s a little idiot who makes it maybe a month and a half at the most before being caught in [insert location here, probably outside of nevarra tho].

cue entrance of grey-warden recruiter and his companion who invoke the rite of conscription to save riya from any imminent transportation back to cumberland for punishment. which to riya as of right now is just another form of punishment as she’s spent about two decades trying to Not follow her family’s footsteps and instead just live her life for the vibes

now for a collection of images that i think match riya’s energy pretty well just bc it’s fun:

[conrad-x-odair]

( tom hiddleston, 38, cismale, he / him, (November 18th) Was that CONRAD ODAIR? I heard a rumor they work for the FAUST family, but who knows for sure ? They can be a bit SULLEN & TEMPERAMENTAL, but I also heard they can be CHARISMATIC & HONORABLE. You’ll usually find them at THE PINT in their spare time, when they’re not being an BLACK MARKET GUNSMITH & CARCANOS. You may want to keep an eye on that one !

                       “ʏᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴇᴍɪᴇꜱ? ɢᴏᴏᴅ. ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴇᴀɴꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ꜱᴛᴏᴏᴅ                                      ᴜᴘ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ, ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪꜰᴇ”

- B A S I C -

Full Name: Conrad Barthelemy Odair Age: 38 Occupation: Black Market Gunsmith / Arm’s Dealer Frequented Locations: Port of Chicago, Tony’s Guns and Sporting Good, Cook’s Gun Range, Wolves, The Den, The Pint, Faust Manor Gang Affiliation: Faust Gang Role: Carcanos Birthday: November 18th Zodiac: Scorpio Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

- F A M I L Y -

Father: Edmund Odair (deceased) Mother: Ursula Harker-Odair (deceased) Sibling(s): Three younger sisters and a younger brother (22 - 36) Uncle: Patrick Harker (deceased) Children: 2 - Son, Ellis (7) & Daughter, Cora (3) Significant Other: Estranged Wife

- P E R S O N A L I T Y -

(+) Charismatic, Friendly, Amorous, Honorable, Persuasive (-) Pedantic, Neurotic, Temperamental, Resentful, Manipulative

- L I K E S   /   D I S L I K E S - 

Globetrotting / Traveling

Hiking

Thrill Seeker - Reckless Driving (Need For Speed style), Cliff Climbing, B.A.S.E. Jumping, Skydiving, Free Soloing

Going to the gym

Going down to the shooting range

Tinkering with machinery and mechanics

Woodworking

Sketching

Day Drinking

Cooking

- B I O G R A P H Y -

Conrad was born in London, England and spent most of his earlier years there, alongside his four younger siblings and his parents, before eventually being sent to live in Chicago, IL.

His father, Edmund, owned a construction company and his mother, Ursula, was a housewife who also ran a hair salon side business from their home, so they weren’t exactly wealthy but they certainly got by just fine. His father’s company made pretty good money, more than enough to support the family of seven.

That, of course, changed when Conrad was fourteen. His father was tragically killed while on a job, when he accidentally lost his footing and fell from the eighth floor of a hotel he and his crew were in the process of building.

Edmund’s death devastated the family and it’s what inevitably tore them apart. Left with many bills and a lot of debt from her husband’s death and unable to cope with the stress of trying to support herself and her five children on her own meager salary, Ursula sent the oldest three of her children - Conrad and two of his sisters - to America, specifically Chicago, to live with her older brother, Patrick.

Life in America and with his uncle was...interesting and enlightening, to say the least, but by no means was it something he initially welcomed. As a young teenager, fresh of of mourning for his father and having just been shipped away by his mother - leaving him with the feeling of being abandoned by her - Conrad lost it. He developed severe anger, attachment and abandonment issues towards the world around him. He grew extremely close to his sisters, and oddly enough to his insanely strict uncle, but he had a hard time trusting anyone else outside of his now small family unit. He had very few friends and the friends he did have were not great influences.

He became unruly and reckless, daredevilling it through his teen years (and beyond) by chasing thrills and the accompanied adrenalin rush, while steadfastly ignoring all risks to himself and to others. He was a total speed demon and an acrophile (a lover of heights) - so he loved getting into his car and driving as fast as he possibly could, which resulted in a lot of reckless driving charges, and he would climb to the highest points of the city on dares from his friends just to spray paint stupid and immature messages where literally nobody else could see them - just to prove that he could and because he wasn’t afraid.

That wasn’t the only trouble he would get up to, however. He was often getting into fights, rebelling against every sort of authority figure who dared to try and curb his behavior, whilst acting impulsive and breaking many laws behind their backs by committing minor crimes like petty larceny and vandalism.

Conrad became a smug and very smart-assed delinquent and he reveled in it. Even getting arrested a few times and being forced under house arrest for six months and probation for another six, and having to serve community service didn’t deter his behavior - despite his uncle trying to beat some type of sense into his thick skull on many occasions.

It wasn’t until he got his first real job as a dockhand down at the Port of Chicago at 17 (forced upon him by his uncle), where he got introduced to the Faust gang and their illegal smuggling, that he learned to moderately quell his ‘I do what I want, when I want’ attitude. He eventually joined the gang, going through the initiation at 18.

He has been with the Fausts for going on 20 years now. He started out working mainly down at the port helping with loading and unloading shipments, although nowadays, his days as a mere longshoreman were pretty much over.

Sure, he was still heavily involved in the Fausts’ smuggling business, but he is mainly focused on gunsmithing for the Fausts and also selling his work on the black market. 

He designs and hand-crafts all of his guns, and he also does gun repairs and makes custom modifications to them. Most, if not all, of the work he does is extremely illegal.

Conrad learned how to make guns from his uncle, Patrick, who had been an engineer and gunsmith for 40-odd years, having owned his own smithy and artillery repair shop.

Even though Conrad more or less mentored under his uncle when it came to learning the art of craft of firearms, that wasn’t to say that the old man himself was by any means a kind and gentle soul. Patrick Harker was very much an old school 'tough love' kind of guy, who was beyond strict and had no qualms with throwing fists and verbal punches and generally using a heavy hand whenever it came to dealing with his unruly nephew. Patrick had high expectations for Conrad, he saw the potential the young man had and refused to let him get away unpunished with his shitty behavior. He might not have gone about it the best way, but his intentions had certainly been good.

Despite Uncle Patrick’s rough handling and borderline abusive tendencies, Conrad eventually learned to greatly respect and appreciate the old man. He came to realize just how much the man actually cared for him - which turned out to be a lot more than his mother did...and that meant something.

Throughout his early and mid-20′s, Conrad spent most of his time working, honing his craft and of course charming his way through women. 

He was a serial romantic - he loved and laid with more women than he could ever care to admit; the idea of settling down and actually committing to a single person for the rest of his life was something he truly abhorred.

That is, until he met his now estranged wife. He met her while at Faust party and there was just something about her that had him utterly smitten and forgetting all his previous reservations on relationships and long term commitments. The two got married within a year and a half and started a family of their own immediately.

Of course, it didn’t taken them long after their wedding to realize their relationship was perhaps not as healthy and happy as it should have been. Their lust blinded them from seeing just how incompatible they were for each other. With his still lingering attachment issues and terrible temper and her own stubborn and hotheadedness, their fights were often quite explosive. They loved each other, that much was obvious - and their attraction for the other was still intense and unmatched - but their clashing personalities were too volatile.

It was after the birth of their second and last child, Cora, that they finally called it quits. That was three years ago.

- W A N T E D   C O N N E C T I O N S -

Toxic Estranged Wife (and casual hookup) - They’ve been separated or two and a half years. They have a strong love/hate relationship - their fights are often very intense and loud and leave the two of them extremely hurt and angry, and yet it usually ends with them in bed together somehow. Angry sex, passional sex, lust-filled. They do love each other, but at the end of the day their relationship was fueled more by their lust than any other actual feelings. It was definitely not healthy, and so for their children’s sake and also for themselves, they decided to separate. Still married for the time being, but no longer living together.

Younger Sisters / brother - Conrad has three sisters and one younger brother. Two of his sisters (the oldest two - between the ages of 32-35) came with him to Chicago when he was 14, while the youngest sister and his brother (between the ages of 24-28) never left England. Conrad is very close with the first two, but has no real relationship with the youngest siblings.

Flings / One-Nighters

Love Interest(s)

Faust Affiliates 

Rival Gang / Enemies

Drinking Buddies

Best Friends / Friends

ANY AND ALL CONNECTIONS! I’m open and down to do whatever!

[takerfoxx]

Magia Record, Season 1, Episode Five, First Impressions!

So. I’ve talked at length about coming into this show already with a weird bias for...reasons. I’ve discussed the various problems it has with its pacing and the lack of depth of its characters in comparison to the original show. I’ve pointed out the many, many issues that would naturally arise from adapting a mobile RPG into a short anime season. And I’ve said that while the final product is probably as good as it could be, it’s still really nothing to write home about, especially considering the franchise’s legacy. It’s like the name says: this is a side story, a fun world-building distraction.

And then we get to this episode, and...

Seriously though, what a great episode! I honestly can’t think of anything negative to say about, so I’ll just keep listing positives.

First, there’s the direction, which has been the one thing that’s been consistently great throughout the show, but it was especially on point here. The visuals during the Seance Shrine fight were incredibly creepy in that wonderfully surreal way that I always loved from PMMM, and the shrine itself was an outstanding setting. Iroha’s witch transformation was downright horrifying in all the best ways, and when her witch went HAM (more on that later), I had my heart in my throat. Like, holy shit! What the fuck is happening?

The conversations with fake Ui and fake Mifuyu were superb as well. Another thing I’d like to praise here is how the writers have really nailed conveying a lot of information while only doing a little. Without beating us over the head with it, we learned so much about our two main leads. First, the fake UI could only repeat the phrase we saw her saying in Iroha’s dream, about how magical girls can be saved if they come to Kamihami City. BECAUSE THAT’S ALL IROHA REMEMBERS HER EVER DOING! That one dream is literally all Iroha has of Ui, so that was all the Seance Shrine was able to take from her memories! The shrine constructs its bait literally through its prey’s memories.

The conversation with the fake Mifuyu also told us a lot about her and Yachiyo’s relationship, as did that very brief flashback. “Don’t you want to become an adult?” That one line broke my heart immediately, and it also told us that Mifuyu and Yachiyo knew what witches really are, and Mifuyu was seeking a way to save them from their fate when she disappeared. The fake Mifuyu’s monologue was much more detailed than that of the fake Ui, because here the Seance Shrine had a feast of memories to work with. And all the little details just served to further demonstrate how much Mifuyu meant to Yachiyo, especially that bit about the coffee cups. I guess she, Yachiyo, and Tsuruno were a team until Mifuyu’s disappearance caused a falling out? Regardless, even though we already know that the Mifuyu is probably a fake, she creates enough doubt in both us and Yachiyo that her “death” hits hard, and it’s clear that it completely tears Yachiyo up inside.

And of course that’s when the Seance Shrine witch (or whatever the rumors are) shows up, and...um...THAT whole thing happened.

It was pretty funny, looking back on my response to what happened to Iroha. Like, at first I was like, “Holy shit, that was crazy! Her witch just tore that thing up? But how did she come back? Doesn’t that contradict a lot of what we already know? I don’t really care for weird new concepts, so I don’t know how I feel about this.” It wasn’t until the after credits scene when the same thing happened to Kaede and it finally dawned on me, and I felt a little stupid for not realizing it earlier. 

THEY’RE DOPPELS! THOSE ARE THE DOPPEL SUMMONS FROM THE GAME!

You know, I never really was sure how I felt about the Doppels. They made sense from a gameplay standpoint, but I always felt that they caused a lot of problems in the overall lore, and wasn’t sure how the show would adapt them, or if it even should. But the way they did it, by making them seem like these horrifying, terrible things that leave the user scared and confused out of their minds was perhaps the best way to do it, and okay, now I’m on board the Doppel train. That was awesome.

But we can’t talk about awesome without going over what happened next, because just as we’re still reeling from having an awful lot thrown at us, the show gives us a gift, two magical words.

TRIO FINALE!

Mami makes her full appearance, and though her scene is short, it’s fucking great. We get to see her in her badass, take no shit veteran persona from the OG show’s second episode, and it drives home quite a lot. First, that Mami is an awesome character and I love getting to see her again. Second, that she really has no idea about what witches are. I mean, we already knew that, but her confusion over Iroha really laid it bare. Third, her words to Tsuruno also told us that Yachiyo has even more going on than we already suspected. She’s hiding something, and whether it’s the whole witch business or something else remains to be seen. It’s the Homura mystery all over again, but just different enough to be it’s own thing.

And then Iroha wakes up at Yachiyo’s place, and we get a nice tension releaser. It’s honestly a very sweet scene, though the show doesn’t stop with its little bits of visual information. Honestly, I love how good they’ve gotten at using the visuals to clue the viewer into what’s going on. We see that yes, Yachiyo does still have the coffee cups, and it’s actually Mifuyu’s room she brought Iroha to, a major indicator at how their relationship is going to change, and given what franchise this is, that can either be a good thing or a bad thing. Yachiyo is still too much of a mystery to really tell, but this episode really gave us a lot to chew on.

And speaking of visual storytelling and direction, can I take the moment to praise the pacing? It’s been rocky in the past, but in this case, I felt that every scene was exactly as long as it needed to be, happened exactly when it should, and conveyed exactly what it needed to. So much happened, but the writing was so tight that it kept me hooked from beginning to end.

And lol Iroha. “I have to go to school! Oh...it’s Saturday.” Been there.

...

Goddamn, what a great episode! I mean, sure, it could all go to shit in the future, but this is the first time I couldn’t wait for the next episode to come out. Ten outta ten, well done. 

[jokerfan99]

Insult to Injury (RWBY/RVB) by Necroceph

*RVB Opening Theme*

On the Blue Base's roof

Church: The fuck are they doing over there?

He's right, what on Earth are the Red's doing. Through his rifle's scope, he sees the Reds building something on their roof what appears to be, a signboard?! First the stink formula, now this? Who's giving them these stupid ideas anyway? Hey don't look at me, I'm just the narrator!

Caboose: Hello!

Out of the blue, no pun intended, Caboose pops up into Church's view.

Church: Aaaaah! Goddammit, don't scare me like that! Caboose: Sorry. Whatcha watching? Church: Check this out.

Church gives Caboose a peak through the scope.

Church: I don't know what they're building, but it looks like a signboard. Caboose: Signboard? Aww, not another highway advertisement! Church: Who knows what they're using it for. My guess is Sarge just wanted to write something to mock us, that's for sure. Caboose: Or maybe they're planning to advertise their products so that they can earn a quick profit. Church: What? Who the fuck would be buying their junk? Not us of course. Caboose: Maybe Sangheili's passing by in the atmosphere? Church: Guess we'll have to find out ourselves. By the way, what are you doing up here? Caboose: Oh right! I'm here to tell you that Weiss is awake! Hooray! Church: It's about time that Ice Queen wakes up. Here take the rifle, I'm going to have word with her. Caboose: Uhm, Church, what about me? Church: I don't know just... spy on the Red's construction I guess. Call me out if anything new comes up.

At the Blue Base, Weiss' Room

I'm never going near another trash bin for a week. Weiss thought to herself as she takes another sip of her coffee, specially prepared by none other than Kaikaina. Weiss gotta hand it to the Grif, this is one hell of a caffeine.

Kaikaina: You want Dr. Kai to get you some meds? Weiss: No no, I'm perfectly fine. No need to concern yourselves over me. I've been through worse situations before. Tucker: Schnee, you passed out since yesterday! I doubt you're still fine. Kaikaina: Yeah. Plus you even puke while you slept. Weiss: I beg your pardon? Kaikaina: Nothing!

The door opens as Church enter to see Weiss fully recovered from her sixteen hour coma.

Church: Good to see the Snow White has awaken from her deathly slumber. Tell me, did the 'Prince of the Holy Sword' kiss you? Tucker: Wha-? No way I wouldn't do that while a chick's old cold! Though I would if she wants to... do you, baby?

SMASH!!!

Weiss hits Tucker with her mug, shattering it in the process. Even with his helmet on, he somehow felt the pain in the side of his head.

Tucker: OW! I was just saying! Weiss: At least learn how to shut that perverted mouth of yours, Lavernius! Hmph. Church: Not as perverted as suggesting a tight bikini wrestling match yesterday. Weiss: *shiver* Don't bring up that idea again. Tucker: So, Church. I'm guessing this isn't just to check up on her, is it? Church: Nope. In fact I'm here to talk about her fight with the Red yesterday. Tucker: Oh that one. Man it was awesome! Church: I'm not talking about that! From what I saw, she and that Red seem know each other. Is that right, Schnee?

Everybody turn their heads to Weiss.

Weiss: I don't want to talk about it. Church: Well too bad, we are going to talk about it whether you like it or not. So what were you two before, best friends? Tucker: Rivals? Kaikaina: Lovers?

Everybody looks at Kai.

Kaikaina: What, was I really the only one thinking that when they were fighting? Tucker: Speaking of lovers, were you two bisexu- Church: Shut the fuck up Tucker! Look just explain from the beginning, don't care how long, just say it. Weiss: ... Fine if that's to prevent you guys from asking me again and again in the future, so be it. Did I told you guys about the a military academy I studied at before I came to Blood Gulch? Everyone: No. Weiss: Of course. Anyways, me and... that girl, were for a lack for a better word, partners. Kaikaina: Hell yeah, I knew you guys were lovers! Church: She's not referring to that kind of 'partnership'! Weiss: Our relationship was somewhat great if you could say that. Not the brightest girls I know, but she was alright once you get to know her more. Kaikaina: Kinda reminds me of this girl I knew before coming here. Tucker: She a friend? Kaikaina: Nah we fucked, literally. Tucker: Woo baby! Weiss: Would you mind? Tucker: Sorry. Church: So how did your relationship go downhill? Weiss: Oh you would not believe what I've been through. One day, we were posted at this base on a planetoid as part of our final assignment. I think it's called Amity. Anyways the job was simple, follow your superior's orders and make sure no unathorized personal gets in. Everything was fine for the first week. Soldiers talking around, complaining about the weather, you name it. Tucker: Is it me, or does this story sounded familiar? Church: Shh! Weiss: Me and my partner weren't together most of the time there cause we were given two different orders. She patrols around the base while I sit in the server room, keeping away not only unauthorized intruders but 'undisciplined' hands as well. I mean who would be watching porn in a state of the art archive machine? Not only are they disgusting like Tucker,- Tucker: Hey! Weiss: -but they have arrogantly ignore their duties and- Church: Schnee? Hate to remind you but, this isn't a therapy session. Weiss: Sorry. Anyway, I kept away undisciplined hands from the server room.

Transition fade to flashback

Amity guard 01: Oh come on honey, just one download. Pleeeeaaaassee! Weiss: No. Amity guard 02: Look kid. There's nothing to do but standing around here and talk all day. Some of us have already died of boredom! Weiss: And since when did that happen, 'sir'? Amity guard 02: Uhm... last Tuesday. Weiss: That incident? He didn't die of boredom! He just slipped and broke his neck upon impact. Plus he's still alive! I can't believe you all here. You're supposed to be soldiers fighting for your government and still you act like conscripts from the past! Amity guard 01: Hey don't blame us, blame human nature.

And that's when the base shooked. Space pirates. One of the guards I talked to started panicking.

Amity guard 02: OH MY GOD, WE'RE BEING ATTACKED! WE'RE DOOMED!!!

Every guard in the room rushed out until the commander called me. He ordered me to collect all the data to prevent them from falling into enemy hands, so I did what I was told. Once I got the data, I was to rendezvous at the landing bays to be evacuated. On the way to the bay, I came across my partner along with some guy she's carrying over he shoulders.

Weiss: Ruby, what's going on? Ruby: I don't know! Some guys just came out of nowhere and start blowing up the place. Command ordered us to fight back before reinforcements arrive. Weiss: Well go and stop them. Ruby: We can't! These guys are heavily armed and we're loosing a lot of men! Our top priority now is getting everybody out of here! Weiss: Command's new orders? Ruby: Nope. Weiss: Then who's order is that? Ruby: Uhm... mine? Weiss: WHAT?! Ruby: Look just help us out and we'll explain to command later. Weiss: I can't, I have to get out of here! I'm carrying the base's data and is highly important that I evacuate immediately. Ruby: What?! What about everyone here? We can't just leave them to die here!

That's when I got shot in the arm. My partner started fighting the intruders back while I run off to the landing bays to keep the data safe. It was miracle the landing bay wasn't attacked yet and so I manage to escape safely. The data was secured but the base, not so much. We've lost half our men that day and everything stored there was either looted or destroyed.

Transition slide out of flashback

Tucker: So... what happened afterwards? Did you get a medal? Weiss: I did. They gave me a Colonial Cross for my bravery. But after what happenedback there... sigh... I didn't manage to get the scores I needed. THANKS TO HER THAT IS! Church: Is that why you're pissed at her? The scores? Weiss: You have no idea how important it was to get those scores and our pride! If she hadn't just followed her orders and stop those pirates. Things would've gone smoothly! But nooooooooooooo! She just had to disobey her orders and started evacuating people as many as possible. If she had rally them to fight instead, everything would've gone different! DAMN HER! I'M GLAD SHE DIDN'T GET A MEDAL OF HONOR! AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORST? SHE CALLED ME A DESERTER. DESERTER! I WAS ONLY DOING MY DUTY! ARRRGH! I'm sorry I got carried away again. Once I recovered my wounds, she renounced our partnership right at my face! Well that's good for me. Hmph! Church: *whistle* This is a lot like my relationship with Tex. So what will you do now that you and her saw one another? Weiss: Something I've should have done long after we split. DESTROY HER!

Weiss pulls off her most angry face, but not as fierce Ruby's demonic anger but still... *Suspenseful stinger music*

Weiss: Nonono, that method is just too simple. Hmmmmm... or maybe!... nonono, torture's too barbaric. Tucker: Wow she really is pissed with that Red. Church, if you're still pissed at Tex, would you guys try to forgive each other? Church: Yeah right! That bitch isn't the type of girl to say 'sorry' to anyone, even me! Kaikaina: Plus she's a Red. Tucker: And your brother? Kaikaina: Wha? I won't kill him. Weiss: But he's a Red. Caboose: Psst! Church?

Church hears Caboose's voice as everyone else were busy talking to each other. He turns to see the private peeking behind the door. Wonder why he isn't coming inside, no matter at least he may have some update on the Red's construction. He leaves the room and hears what Caboose has got to say.

Church: What's the update on the Reds? Caboose: Oh it's fine, but it's just... let's not let Weiss see it. Church: Why? Caboose: Well the thing is... do you know those times when teenagers drew something about their teacher just to mock them? Church: Yeah kids have become total assholes these days. Wait what does this got to do with the sign... Caboose:... Church: ...You're not saying what I think you're saying? Caboose: Weiss won't like it! She'll cry if she sees it! Church: Why would she cry... look wait here and give me back my sniper rifle. I'm going to take a look at it myself.

Church leaves Caboose and heads straight to the roof. With him gone, it's time for our beloved Caboose to check on Weiss.

Caboose: Hi, Weiss! Weiss: Hey, Michael. Where's Church? Caboose: Oh he just needed to take a potty. A potty! Hehehe. Weiss: At least he should tell before he left... so you're saying you won't kill your brother? Kaikaina: Duh we're family! If Mom finds out I shot him, I'd be in serious trouble. Tucker: How is she gonna find out? It's not like she's can hear her son's scream light years away, that's physically impossible. Kaikaina: Actually she can. Tucker: Wait she can- Caboose, you okay buddy? Caboose: What? Tucker: Dude, you're staring at the ceiling. Is there something wrong? Caboose: Nothing! Nothing involving the Reds and Weiss won't have to be devastated. Church from the roof: Pfft-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Caboose: Uh oh. Kaikaina: Holy shit! What is that?! Tucker: Giant hyenas? Weiss: As if! Get out, I need to change immediately!

On the Blue Base's roof

The Blues arrived to the scene to see Church collapsed on the floor. He is laughing uncontrollably like a madman from an asylum, why is he laughing? This put a lot of confusion to the Blues, except Caboose who knows what Church has seen at the Red Base.

Weiss: Church, what are you laughing at? Church: Oh Schnee, you're here. Hehehe... nothing to worry about, there's totally nothing to see... pfft! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HOHOHOHAHAAAAA!!! Tucker: Is Church alright? Caboose: Oh yes, he's alright! He's... uh... infected with laughing disease. Very contagious but not lethal. Tucker: Laughing disease? I've never heard of it before. Caboose: That's cause you're dumb!

Weiss, curious to see what's on the enemy base, take out her binos and see this signboard. To her disgust, the first thing she sees through the binos was a familiar red colored rifle and brunette hair look straight at her. Ruby is looking back at her. She lowers her gun to reveal her angry expression before pointing at something out of the bino's vision. Weiss zooms out and finally sees the 'so-called' signboard and something drawn on it. The first sight of it widened her eyes. It was a drawing her except... it doesn't match her beautiful petite physique. The drawing of her is an ugly round doodle with the writing, 'BIG FAT MEANIE' next atop. As if she really looks like that! Then there's another drawing of three stickmen with stink-lines above them, still being drawn by Donut, with the title friends is added above them. This must be represent Ruby, and her two other teammates. Oh my she's gone too far.

Caboose: Oh no. Weiss seen it. Tucker: Seen what? Church: Hahaha! Take a look.

Tucker looks through the sniper's scope and starts to instantly laughing upon seeing the signboard.

Tucker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Big fat meanie! HAHAHAHAHA, that's priceless! Kaikaina: Big fat meanie? Let me see.

Kaikaina gets the same results.

Kaikaina: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Tucker: I know right? HAHAHAHA! Caboose: Uhm, guys? Weiss is still here. Church: HAHAHA- Son of a bitch. Tucker: HA- Oh fuck me. Kaikaina: HAHA- Whoops.

Weiss was standing still. She may have heard the commotion behind. The first thing that came in the Blues' head is Weiss screaming at them like the banshee she is till their ears popped and bleed. However to their relief she still keeps her composure.

Caboose: Weiss? Are you okay? Weiss: Get the rocket launcher. Caboose: Okay. Church: Hold on, what are you doing? Weiss: Giving her an example not to mess with me.

At the Red Base

Grif: Will you hurry up? This isn't Ancient Renaissance! Donut: Patience. Art need to be clean and refine, so you can't rush it. Grif: I doubt that's art. Sarge: This ought to give that psychological attack to that Blue. Once she sees this, the guilt will force into her and break her from the inside. Ruby: Thanks, Sarge. You didn't have to do this for me. Sarge: Ah don't mention it. And besides, what that Blue did is UNACCEPTABLE! Hehehe, I wonder what kind of reaction that Blue's going to get when she see this. Simmons: Sir. I think you take a look a this. Sarge: Looks like she's pissed off already.

Ruby and Sarge approached Simmons who had been looking at the Blue base. Simmons hand the rifle to Sarge and the rough Sargeant looks through the scope to see the results of the deserter. To his disappointment, Weiss hasn't gone barmy and it looks like she just fired a rocket... A ROCKET?!

Sarge: CRAZY COWBOY ON A NUCLEAR BOMB, GET DOWN!!!

Everybody ducked following a loud WHOOSH passing them by. That was close! Had that rocket hit the concrete, it would've cause a lot of dama- never mind. The drawing, which Donut had worked so much on, is now a large ripped hole!

Donut: NOOOOOOO!!! I haven't painted it yet! Ruby: GGRRRR... WEISSSS!!! Sarge: Dagnabbit, you destructive vandals! You may have spared the signboard but you should never have taken out the drawing!

Back at the Blue Base

That shot put a smile on Weiss. Sure the rocket didn't exploded as predicted, but at least the rocket got rid of the tarp.

Weiss: That's what you get, Rose. Okay so who's up for breakfast? Everyone but Church: Me!

Caboose, Tucker and Kaikaina rush down the stairs, leaving Weiss and Church alone on the roof.

Weiss: Did I just provoked the Reds and caused another attack? Church: Kind of, though I doubt most of them have the mood to attack today. Heh, you know you sure kinda remind me of Tex. Weiss: Who? Church: My girlfriend. The way you acted and talked is somewhat like her, except she more of a crazy bitch than you. Weiss: Girlfriend huh? I don't hear you talking to anyone through the lines. Church: That's cause she's dead. Weiss: Oh... I'm... sorry. I didn't mean to. Church: Nah it's alright. We broke up a long time ago. Sigh, I still miss our arguments. But enough of that, let's get some grub. So you can cook? Weiss: A bit. My butler back home taught me a thing or two about making steak. If you got the meat of course. Church: Well hate to break it you, but we only have canned food. Wait you're rich?! Weiss: Yeah but not the life you'd expect.

A/N: That's the end of this story arc, now that you know why Ruby and Weiss now hate each other. Sorry it couldn't be longer.

[villanevest]

"I Can Help You": the Build-Up to & Significance of 2x07's Villaneve Sex[ish] Scene

of COURSE i am going to write about this. before we get started though, i wanted to tell you all that while @villainever is still running, i will be mostly posting from my brand-new primary, @villanevest (this blog). so follow me for the same stupid memes, and check the "villanevest writes" tag if you're interested in more of these essays :D alright. now let's get going. killing eve is an extremely versatile show, and that's absolutely a credit to the writers being willing to follow the characters and their relationships, which allows the narrative to develop in a simultaneously organic and deeply compelling way. the greatest complexity of the series is also its primary draw: the dynamic between villanelle and eve, and its evolution. in this mini-essay, we're going to step through why -- I believe -- the construction of the sex scene as two separate but synchronised encounters is the best choice for killing eve right now, and how they've accelerated towards it since the pilot. from the beginning, villanelle and eve have been all about parallels. the first time we see villanelle in the ice-cream shop, she's spaced-out, bored, a vacant observer. the first time we see eve, she's asleep. these scenes are very deliberately presented to us, one after another: here, we have two women who feel displaced and alienated. neither of them is lonely, not exactly; they have people in their lives. what they lack is real, significant passion, something beyond the routine -- for villanelle, that "routine" is a lot more dramatic, certainly, but nonetheless, they're both numbed out, but until they meet each other, they're not really aware of that.

and then we have that moment in the hospital bathroom. it's not a coincidence that they're standing in front of a mirror, confronted with each other, and themselves. the composition of this visual directly implies that villanelle and eve are not just alike, but inherently complementary. in many ways, eve is a reflection of villanelle, and villanelle is a reflection of eve -- that is, opposite, but also identical. it's not until later that they really understand the importance of this two-second conversation, but  it's the first breath of an obsession that will span continents and become literally life and death. 

eve and villanelle discover each others' real identities at the same time, in a montage that draws focus again to these similarities between them and their experiences. but this is when their respective trajectories towards each other begin to progress separately and distinctly. the reason for this is that while villanelle is unquestionably the "cat" in this cat-and-mouse equation, at this point, she is also the one being chased, and eve is in pursuit. for most of the first season, villanelle has more information about and power over eve than vice-versa. for eve, who still has niko, she is seduced into the thrill of villanelle through that prescribed pursuit, and for a little while, that's enough for her. but villanelle doesn’t have such a set structure, and -- once she knows eve's name and eve's face -- almost immediately begins seeking out copies.

the first copy she constructs is herself, signing in as "eve polastri" while working in berlin. this is mostly a stunt to get eve's attention -- the first of many (amsterdam, anyone?) -- but it compounds on 1x01's thematic suggestion of their compatibility. the second copy, however, is perhaps the most blatant example of this: the woman from the tour group who sleeps with villanelle in 2x03. villanelle tells her she "loves her [American] accent", and gets her to take her hair down, and then goes on to actually call her eve.

villanelle's interest in superficially recreating eve fades fairly early, after eve gets out of the car to confront villanelle when villanelle is absolutely armed and definitely dangerous, for no apparent reason other than she wants to. villanelle scares her off with a warning shot (even though she could've very easily killed her at this point), but then doubles back the next episode, with the kitchen sequence from 1x05. villanelle says she "just wants to have dinner with [eve]", but i think this evening really exceeds her expectations. prior to this, she was very interested in eve, obviously, but after it, villanelle's infatuation becomes both more significant and more mature, and so does eve's. they've got chemistry when they're together, not just in the tension of being apart. BUT. so, so much of their story is spent apart. season one is a blur of glimpsed profiles and silhouettes, with only the bathroom, the kitchen, and finally villanelle's apartment providing them sites to briefly interact. at the end of 1x08, villanelle tells eve, "i masturbate about you a lot", but eve denies doing the same, which is probably true, in the sense that eve still believes she doesn’t (actively, at least) consider villanelle in a sexual way. then season two picks up, and they're apart again. only they're less apart than they were before. villanelle is right when she assures gabriel that eve stabbed her to "show [her] how much she cares about [her]". while it was barely premediated, and i don't think eve necessarily viewed it as a confession, it absolutely is; a confession of who she really is, and that that person is irrevocably linked to villanelle. in stabbing villanelle, eve puts the first truly irreversible crack in her façade of normality; she can't go back now, not all the way. the show doesn't really linger on this, though, because it's so obvious that eve doesn't WANT to go back. as reticent as i am to quote shakespeare, i will make an exception for this case, and take utterly out of context the line, "these violent delights have violent ends". for eve and villanelle, they need the violent delights and violent ends alike; sex and destruction and obsession and pain are integral to their characters. why? because i think such extreme emotions and acts break through that nothingness, that fugue villanelle talks about in 2x06. 

and so the stab wound -- which villanelle proudly shows off to niko in 2x05 -- becomes something of a pact between them. to eve, it means villanelle affects her strongly enough to push her out of herself (except really, into herself), and to villanelle, it means eve can exist in her world, can challenge and surprise her, can interrupt the boredom with these bright spots of total involvement and utter fascination. and since we’ll be talking about parallels later -- in 2x02, villanelle caressing her wound in the bathtub is juxtaposed with eve tracing the heart carved into the train table. i think a “carved heart” is pretty much the wound is, too. from the pilot, villanelle and eve's relationship is an intricate dance of towards/away, together/apart. over the story, over each direct and indirect crossing of their paths, they become more towards, less away; more together, less apart. after season one, particularly 1x08, they have this permanent and indelible connection. but they're still consistently positioned as unable to reach one another. villanelle calls MI6, but they won't send her through to eve. eve arrives, but misses villanelle, and villanelle watches through the transparent but very real barrier of the car window, literally passing her by. then we have them separated by only a door in 2x03, and so many other instances of close-but-not quite.

it's worth bringing up at this juncture that while the villaneve plotline is happening, villanelle and eve each have their own individual character arcs, so while they keep glancing off each other and being torn apart in practice, they are steadily gravitating to a middle ground mentally and emotionally. i'll come back to this idea. in 2x05, we have yet another mirror/reflection, as the kitchen scene is revisited. having this reunion in the same setting as their first foregrounds how their relationship has changed. eve isn't anxious or fearful or on the back foot. she's the one who brings villanelle to her home, not the other way around, as it was last time. she reaches out to villanelle, she's confident enough to take the pills, and she doesn't hesitate before saying "yes" when villanelle asks if eve will give her everything she wants. the "yes" is easy, because whether eve is quite ready to admit it or not, what villanelle wants is what eve wants. 

then villanelle helps eve with the ghost, and going forward, they're able to regularly collaborate, in their own off-beat fashion. so after 2x05, villanelle and eve are more or less settled as fixtures in their respective lives. there's still the dance, but there's no real chase. they've drawn abreast of one another. they've caught up. and this is where we circle back to the idea of copies. like i said, ever since eve has been real to villanelle, copies have been insufficient. but she still can't have eve, not entirely, and not exactly how she wants, so she escalates to proxies. in 2x06, villanelle mouths, "ready?" to eve, right before pushing amber's bodyguard in front of the truck. i'm not trying to imply that villanelle wants to push eve in front of a truck -- but as i said earlier, villanelle and eve intersect at this overlap of violent delights/violent ends. sex and death. she asks her Copy Eve in 2x03 "ready?" in just the same way. villanelle is demonstrating her faith in the depth of their connection in the extremity of her actions. she's proving to eve that they're for-better-or-worse now. she's not afraid that killing someone right in front of eve will drive her away; she knows it'll suck her in. 

so what's the significance of the shift from copies to proxies? the copies were for villanelle -- a stand-in so that she could act out her desires. it's much more reflective of the "i / it": if someone looked like eve, then it was almost as if she had the real thing, right? but her affection for eve mutates into something much harder for her to manage, and "it" very quickly becomes "eve", and she can't produce a facsimile that can hold a candle to "me / eve". but the proxies aren't for villanelle, they're for eve. if villanelle's not allowed to touch eve yet, then she's using the proxies to say, "this is how much i care. this is how much i want you." and on a subliminal level at least, if not a conscious one, i think eve interprets it that as such. then, finally, we get to 2x07. we have a repetition of the phone call from 2x02, and just as carolyn played eve the recording of villanelle's MI6 call, villanelle listens to eve's voicemails. in this instance, they haven't missed each other. they're already together. the "9 missed calls, 3 voicemails" are an overture across space, but not across distance. this is about breaching an emotional gap, not a physical one. eve and villanelle are around each other often now, but it takes their being apart again to highlight just how much that proximity has allowed them to evolve.

in the restaurant in rome, we again have the visual of eve reaching out, villanelle catching her hand, and them meeting in the middle. which brings us to The Scene. it follows villanelle's crucial conversation with aaron (which I wrote about here), and that gives her a last little push. note: we have to remember that the bug that eve is listening through is only one way. while this might seem like a let-down, in that villanelle couldn't hear eve, i think it's actually really significant. because it shows how well villanelle knows eve, how much effort she puts into understanding her, and how easily she remembers things about her. in 2x06, eve was interjecting via the comms throughout almost the entirety of the aaron-villanelle-amber dinner conversation. that and the voicemails exemplify eve's involvement and propensity to hover, which is a result of her natural controlling tendencies, and how consumed she is with villanelle. so even though villanelle had no way of knowing that eve was listening, she knew anyway. she was sure with no feedback or guarantee. i love how they set this eve/hugo encounter up during previous episodes. it's something of a checkov's gun situation -- that is, the principle that if you introduce an idea (e.g. hugo's sexual interest in eve), then you need to bring it to fruition. what the writers did so well, though, is that we thought hugo had already served his purpose as a romantic/sexual option -- when he leans in to kiss eve in 2x04 and she doesn't lean away, we have evidence of how little commitment she still has to her marriage. but now he becomes eve's proxy.

so why have eve hookup with hugo, and not villanelle? well, there are a lot of reasons. firstly, eve and villanelle having sex, or even kissing, would be a very significant development for the show, and have massive implications for the narrative. as a result, it would need a lot of build-up. the circumstances would need to be perfect. while eve is no longer shying from her attraction to villanelle, i think a mixture of adrenaline and tension would have to reach terminal velocity (probably by introducing an external stressor, like a fight or escape) for eve to actually step over that line. i don't think that, at this point, it's something she'd do with a perfectly clear head. she's too aware of how precarious the current balance is, and probably (quietly) also too afraid that giving in would mean villanelle's obsession would have closure, and thus die off. the episode just didn't have the minutes to generate that situation, and the plot didn't give an avenue for it.

secondly, it gives the writers a lot more room to play with the respective aftermaths. this way, they get to bring in 

1) a fallout of some kind between hugo and eve. hugo's been very laissez-faire all season about sex, about boredom, etc., going on about how he understands why eve took the job at MI6, and her interest in villanelle. but until this point, it's been pretty much all fun and games, all james bond for hugo. and then he's going to have this moment where he realises he and eve AREN'T alike. he's a good-time guy, a bit selfish, and smart enough to need an entertaining career to keep stimulated. eve? it goes SO much further than that for eve. she really is on that sociopathy/psychopathy spectrum, and she needs this to feel awake, to feel anything. in their sex scene, their dynamic flickered into an "i / it" for eve, because hugo as a person didn't really matter at all. he's going to see the exact scope and depth of eve's obsession, and he'll realise she's gone beyond where he can follow. first niko, then hugo -- they're both ferrymen who tag along for a piece of eve's journey, but ultimately stay behind. they give an important reference point for the audience; they act as thresholds we see eve pass -- here, something niko can't condone; now, something hugo won't do.

2) the no-morning-after for villaneve. this doesn't relieve any of the sexual tension, it ratchets it up. like the stab wound, this connects them, but it doesn't resolve anything. the writers now have so many options: maybe a little awkwardness from eve (unlikely), intensifying chemistry (very likely), perhaps denial, or a desperation to get alone and take things to the next level. this didn't close a door, it opened several. they'll be able to draw villaneve out even more, and they'll neatly sidestep both audience expectation and television tradition. it's their game now.

here, hugo also has metaphorical signifiance -- he's the human cost of villaneve. over the course of the show, bodies, careers, and relationships have all imploded to get villaneve even just close enough to touch. villanelle and eve are using hugo directly just as they've indirectly used many others. note: symbolically, as well, villanelle is in eve's head. this feeds into the notion of obsession -- since the pilot, villanelle has consumed eve's thoughts, and now she's actually there. finally, above all, i believe this encounter perfectly fits the current phase of their relationship, and its evolution. it's the culmination of copies and proxies and distance. like i said, that apartness is just as critical to villaneve as the togetherness. they are as made of their negative space as they are of their lines and colours. and here they are: after pretending different people are each other, after being pressed together but stepping away again, after using others as mediums to express themselves, after being chased and caught, lost and found. here they are: together and apart at once. 

not only is this thematic, it's romantic, in its own twisted way. fifteen episodes later, they are even sharper reflections of each other than they were when they met. they're in sync even with such little communication, and that stands in contrast to their additional relationships. niko and eve could be in the same room, talking directly, and be less connected. and that's kind of tragic -- that eve went through so much of her life NOT wide awake, that niko spent years with someone who wasn't really WITH him. villanelle and eve are all hot and cold, entirely comprised of extremes, because that's what they NEED to feel alive. villanelle says in 2x06, "like us, you mean". and that's exactly it: fundamentally, villanelle and eve are the same kind, and that's why they are so good together. it's how they stay so good apart.

will these violent delights have violent ends? unquestionably. but those ends will be new beginnings. eve won't go back to sleep. villanelle could never cope with being bored again. they'll push and pull, fight and fuck, get mad and get in deeper, inextricable. they'll keep chasing the delights and weathering the consequences, getting wilder and wilder until something happens that they can't shake off or walk away from. but that's how they are, that's how they're happy, and that's the only way they can be. 

i hope all this held together! I had a lot of thoughts and it was hard to compress into one short essay, so I know it seems like a lot of disconnected threads rip. as always, reply/ask/message me with ideas/requests if you have something you want me to talk about! thank you to everyone who has commented nice things on my previous posts; it makes me want to write more and it’s nice to know someone’s reading :D

[pacificwanderer]

This is a complete crack anon post, but... every time I see a GIF of Ben from TLJ turning around shirtless, I have the Diet Coke Break commercial (available on YouTube but I can't include a link) from the 90s playing in my head. Tell me that Rey wasn't one of those women gawking at him before she turned her head. I dare you. :D

LOLLLLLLLLLLLL

It’s been a while since I last thought of that commercial. Readslike a modern fanfic AU. In case anyone has no idea which commercial this is, here’s a video.It’s probably the most 90s thing I’ve seen in a while hahaha but hey, nice tocater to that female gaze a bit.

I remember thinking this commercial was so dumb when I was a kidHAHAHA NOW I’m like, shit I want a diet coke.

Ahahaha this made me laugh and inspired me haha.

Up on Ao3 for housekeeping purposes (I don’t trust this site notto delete my work). Best read while listening to this song by Selena.

Thanks for the ask, Nonnie! Cheers.

 ~~~~ 

“What are you staring at?” Rose whispers in her ear, which scaresthe absolute shit out of Rey.

“Me? What? Nothing. What are youstaring at?” she sputters.

Rose rolls her eyes. “Save it. You really thought you could keep ‘Mr.Hot Construction Guy With a Shirt Problem’ to yourself?”

“No, but I kind of hoped to,” Rey replied. “But I’ll share himwith you, and only you. Tell anyone else, and you’re dead to me, Tico.”

“Deal. Lunchbreak time starting now?”

“Looks like it,” Rey murmurs, words trailing off as he comes into view. Construction has been going on for what feelslike forever on the building next to them, but Rey won’t complain. She’s beentaking her breaks early for months just to keep catching a glimpse of the devastatinglyhot construction worker in the lot next to her office.

Selena’s I Could Fall In Love plays softly somewhere in theoffice as Rey stares while he sits, legs spread, sandwich in hand, as he eats.It really is so unfair that someone she didn’t even know could have such animpact on her life, especially considering the main show had yet to start forher.

At first, he didn’t take his shirt off. At first, he just satthere on the rigging, long legs dangling in the air, as he ate his lunch andread. Same book for months, looked like a doozy, and Rey had stopped just shortof getting some binoculars to find out what book it was so she could read ittoo.

Because that would be weird and obsessive and she was definitelyjust taking her lunch break at the same time, every day, in the same spot,because it was a cosmic coincidence and not because she wanted to keep watchingthe hot construction worker from afar. Not like she didn’t have a thing for tall,dark, and handsome, or anything.

Not like it hadn’t been forever since she’d last been out on adate. And, really, who needed dates when you had your own construction workerto lust—erm, lunch date with?

He was tall. So so tall in those work boots, but he moved with akind of grace that could only come after many, many years of working inprecarious situations. He didn’t seem to notice the danger, but he definitelynoticed the change in weather. As spring moved into summer, his flannel wasstripped away to reveal t-shirts that were just a tiny bit too small for him.

Which was convenient for Rey because she’d been trying to decidewhether it was the outline of his abs against the fabric or a trick of herimagination—it was his abs. Definitely. She could see that now.

Until that fateful day came. It was an unseasonably warm day, sohot that even Rey had foregone her normal pantsuit in favor of something alittle lighter and breezier. She’d taken up watch at her normal lunch spot,casually leaning and watching while trying not to look like she was casuallyleaning and watching but then it happened.

He stalked over to his spot, big feet striking against the beam ashe effortlessly balanced that big, broad body. T-shirt today with his workpants—white,thin. Hardhat—horrifically orange, which is the first thing to go. Lunchbox andsoda—probably a Diet Coke. He runs his fingers through his hair before sitting,but it wasn’t necessary. Hat or not, his hair is stupidly and unfairly perfect.

It was like clockwork. He’d eat his sandwiches—sometimes subs,sometimes what looked like pastrami, always two—an apple, break into his sodaand down the entire can in one go before turning to his book.

It was almost Diet Coke time, so Rey popped the tab on hers, andpressed it to her lips. Definitely not because she was imagining what it wouldfeel like to press against his lips. No, of course not. She also definitelyhadn’t picked up a Diet Coke habit either because of him. Of course not. He didn’teven know that she existed, so the idea that she’d do anything because of himwas laughable. She was laughable—her life was laughable—but at least shehad a nice view.

Rey looked away for a moment, contemplating all the ways in whichher life sucked as she sipped from her Diet Coke before she turned back to lookout the window and very nearly spat her soda out. He was sitting there, justlike always, but now his shirt was off. Definitely not like always.

Rey took a hard swallow and nearly choked on her drink as her mindreeled. He was stupid fucking ripped, just casually sitting there, ruining herlife with those broad shoulder and visible pecs. His arm flexed as he slowly liftedthe soda to his lips and Rey had never wanted to be a soda can more in herlife.

She sat, mouth open, eyes glued, pulse racing, as she watched. Shestopped short of leaning against the glass, but it was a challenge. HotConstruction Guy rolled his neck and stretched, almost as if he knew she waswatching, before reaching for his book, but instead of sitting and having aread, like always, he shifted around.

Legs spread on either side of the beam, he leaned back, book inhand over his head, as he lay and read in the sun. Rey looked around as if shewasn’t eating lunch alone and could ask someone whether her mind was playingtricks on her. It was not. He was laying there, sun shining down on hispale skin, as he read on his lunch break.

Shirtless. A little sweaty. Gleaming, even. Okay, glistening. Itwas unfair. Absolutely unfair. Could he see her? Did he know? Was there a god?Should she be embarrassed? Was this real? Rapid-fire questions ran through hermind until she settled, took a sip of her soda, and just stared.

Rey couldn’t be certain, but she thought it must have qualifiedfor one of the best days of her life. And then it happened again. And again.And again. And basically every day the sun was out and high in the sky.

Sometimes, he’d absently brush sweat from his neck or, evenbetter, his chest, while reading and Rey would imagine how it felt to be alittle bead of that sweat, pearling against his bright skin before drippingslowly before drawing his attention. There were all sorts of things she’d liketo do to him. Slowly. Sliding down the length of his big body just likethose obscene little drops of sweat.

Sometimes, he’d run his fingers through that dark, shaggy hair, andRey would wonder whether it was soft, or kind of coarse from the elements. Or whatit would feel like when she pulled him in for a kiss. Did he like having hishair touched? Would he like having his hair touched by her?

And then reality would set in, he’d finish his break, she’d finishher peanut butter and jam sandwich, and go back to work.

She debated going to talk to him, but what was she going to say? “Hi,I’ve been staring at you during your lunch break for months and, also, are yourmuscles as hard as they look?” Yeah, sure. And besides, the rest of the constructioncrew were kind of lewd to the office girls whenever they walked by and that wasthe last thing she wanted to voluntarily deal with. But watching? From afar? Noone could be disappointed by a hot man from afar, especially a hot man who likedto take his shirt off.

The weather started to change, and as summer rolled into fall, theflannel returned—except for those rare, unseasonably hot days where his shirtwas off, and Rey was all hot and bothered under he oversized pantsuit. Reyloved those days. But she also appreciated hot construction guy in flannel too.She contained multitudes.

A few weeks into September, Rey got a nasty case of the flu and wasoff work for nearly a week which was terrible because her benefits didn’t coversick days, so it meant working overtime for the foreseeable future. But theworst part, the absolute worst part? She misses her daily lunch breaks, whichmakes he feel almost as terrible as the flu.

Back at work and still a bit under the weather, she slips into theoffice, waves to Rose who is typing away, before immediately coming to a fullshop about six feet from her desk.

There. There is something on her desk. Something she’d only everseen through the panes of a window.

Big. Thick. Dark. And sitting right on her desk. She’d have knownthat book anywhere, evenif she didn’t know the title. Rey stalks closer to her desk, mistrusting herown eyes until it is in her hands—solid, heavy, well-read. The edges of thepages have been worried so much that she knows he’s read this story more thanonce.

Rey takes a look at the cover and cannot believe what she sees.The title stares back at her and she realizes she’s underestimated just howfucking hot this construction guy really is.

Wuthering Heights. Gothic romance. He’s been readinga gothic romance, over and over so frequently that the pages are worn. Howcould he be any more attractive to her? He was literally reading one of herfavorite novels and for some reason had left it on her desk.

Rey quickly snatches the book up and thumbs though the pages. Theysmell a little bit like gasoline, leather, and book—probably from being on theworksite. She realizes quite quickly that he must smell similar, and thethought overwhelms her so much that she has to take a seat at her desk.

“Fuck,” she whispers and Rose chuckles without looking upfrom her typewriter.

“He came by the other day,” she says while typing along.

“He came by? To see me?” Rey squeaks.

Rose fixes her glasses before answering and Rey just knows she’sdrawing out her answer to drive her nuts. “I didn’t see him come in, but Kaydeltook the book and the note for you—says he was really polite and kind of soft spoken,and dusty, totally dusty.”

“There’s a note?” Rey stammers.

“Oh yeah, she stuck it in the first page. I read it because I’m asnoop—nice penmanship too…” Rose says something else about big hands andtalents, but the blood is pumping so hard in Rey’s ears that she can’t hear athing.

There’s a fucking note and now I have to read it! She canbarely make her hands work as she flips to the front page. A piece of paper slipsout and falls onto her desk.

It has her name on it. He knows her name.

“How does he—?” Rey starts, but Rose interrupts.

“Know your name? Apparently, he’s come in before to ask about you.First time he left anything though.”

“And Kaydel didn’t think to tell me?”

Rose shakes her head. “It wasn’t Kaydel that took the messages—heralternate, Hux. And you know he’d just be jealous. So, are you going toread it, or just let it sit there forever?”

Rey takes a deep breath, and the letter flutters a little as she breathesout. “Okay. It’s fine, right? Only a letter from the guy I’ve been staring atthrough the window for months. Totally fine, right?”

 Dear Rey,

 We’re putting up the wall, so we won’t be able to take our normallunch date together for much longer. I was wondering if maybe you’d like to getcoffee? But maybe not. I had to try. Couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing youthrough the window any longer.

 No pressure. I’ll wear a shirt. Maybe Sarge’s Deli? The pastramiis out of this world.

 Call me?

Ben

 “His name is Ben,” Rey murmurs as Rose nods while watching herreaction. He’d also left his phone number on the paper, which meant she couldactually call him and not just stare at him from her office.

“I think he took his shirt off to get my attention,” Rey marvels.

Rose nods sagely. “I’m beginning to get that impression too. Ben,though? Little name for a whole lotta man. Gonna call him?”

“I don’t know? Should I? He’s known that I’ve been watching him! Thisis so embarrassing!”

Rose rolls her eyes. “Look, hot construction guy just gave you a handwritteninvitation to get to know you town, and you’re worried about looking dumb?He has been watching you too, you know?”

“When you put it that way…”

“Call him. Go out for lunch. See how things go. Tell me all aboutit—spare no details. And then you can thank me later.”

“Thank you for what?”

“For covering for your ass when you come back late from lunch.”

“You really are the best. I don’t deserve you,” Rey starts, butRose waves her off.

“I am and you do. Just do one thing for me?”

“What?”

A devious grin worked its way onto Rose’s face as she demanded, “Lemmeknow whether his lips taste like Diet Coke.”

Rey blushed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

And she was definitely, definitely, going to do her best tofind that out for herself.

[aconitewolfsbane]

Okay, plot hole from the Steven Universe movie... Contains spoilers. And swearing, mostly at Pink.

In the movie, we learn that Pink bitch Diamond abandoned Spinel at the Garden for 6000 years, shortly after gaining her colony.

But, in ‘A Single Pale Rose’, we learned that 6000 years ago, Pearl designed Rose Quartz for Pink, who was already bored with running the colony, which led to Pink rebelling against herself.

There’s only three ways that I can think of to explain how both these things could have happened. They all work with the fact that two events happened around 6000 years ago: Pink abandoned Spinel at the Garden, and she first became Rose Quartz.

Scenario 1: Most likely:

Blue Diamond started the colony, setting up the Kindergarten, getting construction started on some key buildings. Once everything was almost ready, and couldn’t possibly be screwed up, except by the dumbest ruby, she handed it over to Pink, knowing that the first quartz soldier will be emerging soon, won’t that be wonderful, Pink? Pink immediately ditched Spinel to go be a big grown-up space dictator. But, like what? Barely ten years later? She was already bored out of her tiny little mind, and took Pearl’s idea of a disguise too seriously in order to have so fun with the newly emerging amethysts. Instead of, ya know, going back for the gem who was literally designed for Pink to have fun with... Whose sole purpose for life was to make Pink laugh and play games... Pearl wasn’t in Spinel’s flashbacks, because she’s a pearl, and Spinel wouldn’t have considered her to be important anyway. Definitely not fun, at least.

Scenario 2: Makes Pink slightly less of a bitch, but still kinda fucked up:

Pink had the Earth for longer than Spinel knew. She went back and forth between Earth and the Garden, because there was fuck-all else to do on Earth until gems started to emerge anyway. This also explains why we didn’t see Pearl during Spinel’s flashbacks: she was busy running the Earth colony in Pink’s absence. Possibly covering for her with the other Diamonds by claiming that she was “overseeing construction in the Orb room, and ordered her not to interrupt, sorry, literally can’t help... No, she’s not playing with Spinel, she’s far too busy for that...” Once Pink decided to rebel, she went back to the Garden one last time. She decided that Spinel was too sweet, innocent and fun-loving for rebellion, and didn’t want her to get hurt. So she did the whole, “Sorry, I love you too much to see you get hurt...” *turns away as you get hurt* routine that led to the movie.

Scenario 3: The worse. Let’s call this Level Pink:

Spinel had just lost track of time, or was in denial, and she was actually abandoned for 7000 years. Allowing plenty of time for Pink to start the colony, oversee the beginnings of the Kindergarten and the implantation of the amethysts, grow bored with the whole space dictator thing, see the amethysts emerge, start the rebellion, bubble one of her best friends, traumatise her other friends, fake her own death and get her stupid ass stranded for 5000 years before committing suicide by murdercock, leaving her teenaged son to have to deal with her shitstorm of problems, including one pissed-off Spinel with completely justified abandonment issues.

Anyway, in all three scenarios, Pink’s still a bitch. The second scenario is just, she was slightly less of a bitch than she could have been...

[caps-clever-girl]

jaime brienne actors au

jaime’s been an excellent actor on many tv shows. he’s practically world renowned.

his favourite and most frequent roles are in historical films - basically anything that requires a sword, and he does all his own stunts because he loves the training so much.

he’s recently taken a year and a half break from acting due to an on-set accident filming for his last role, where he lost his sword-hand.

he seems to be back on form to the public eye, but those he’s worked with before can tell that he’s different.

his next few roles all stay well away from anything that involves a sword - aside from a cameo for the sequel of one of his older films. they have to use a stunt double for one of the big fights and it burns him.

however someone finally makes him an offer he cant refuse. its a wonderful prom a director/producer team he’s worked with before and absolutely adores - not that he would ever tell them that, because its his brother and their best friend bronn.

they tell him that he wont be taking the leading role for once - they’ve already found someone that they’ve been wanting to work with for ages and they assure him that most of the big fighting scenes will be focused on her. his role will be more of a reluctant mentor.

when he meets her, he finds that he can take on this role perfectly since he hates her.

well, hate isn’t the right word. shes annoying, and not the prettiest, but she’s smart and stubborn and fun to mess with. but she hates his ‘mildly flamboyant star ways’ and he hates the fact that she’s so good at sword-fighting. she’s relentless about it. she has a drive and passion for it that jaime hasn’t seen on anyone except his reflection. she reminds him of himself before the accident, and thats just a remind her of what he lost.

most of all he hates her because she’s a reminder that he’s given up. not metaphorically - no, she literally doesn’t shut the fuck up about hit, telling him to get off his ass and do something about it instead of wallowing. it infuriates him because shes right, he has given up and he is wallowing, but its NOT that easy. it isn’t. and she’ll never understand what he’s lost.

but he gets pissed off seeing her obliterate everyone on the practice runs and is convinced that if he was back to his old self he could have destroyed her.

so he finds bronn - who’s background mostly consists of stunts and swordplay - and pretty much demands him to teach him left-handed sword-fighting so he can finally one up that prideful bitch. bronn agrees because he’s glad jaime’s finally trying to get out of his funk - and also because his and tyrion’s plan is working ;)

so jaime works and works and works. he gains a begrudging respect for brienne, but mostly he’s more interested about getting a rise from her than say, learning lines or basically doing anything she thinks he should be. by the time he’s confident enough that he can at least hold his own against her though, production wraps. he doesn’t get to fight her - most of the remaining scenes are dialogue based and filmed back to back - theres no time and no reason, since there are no more fighting scenes and no need to practice. and judging by the stilted goodbye she gives him, he’s pretty sure brienne never wants to see him again.

it irks him, that he didn’t get to fight her - didn’t get to properly say goodbye - and continues to do so even after the film comes out.

they see each other for the first time again at the premiere, having done promo stuff and interviews separately because of their differing schedules, and wow, isn’t that a shock. jaime’s never been a big fusser when comes to makeup - girls with, girls without he doesn’t really care. but he admits that brienne looks completely different all dressed up for events and it makes him look at her differently. to be honest, in sweats or grimed up for battle scenes, sweating and messy from training with swords and constant re-takes for hours on end every day, he probably didn’t look his best while they were shooting anyway. but he cant mention any of this, because whatever they attend, she mostly avoids him. he hates it.

finally, avoidance isn’t possible. the film does excellently - so much so that they are both invited to a charity event on live tv where they will participate in a skit. jaime agrees because it will be good for his career, the charity is actually a decent one, and because brienne will be there. she goes because its charity - who says no to that?

they get given a script, and thats when they discover that it’s a skit. the acting is meant to be bad, they don’t have to try too hard, they have to have fun, so the audience has fun. jaime thinks its a great idea. he loves his job, but it will be nice to relax while filming and not have to be so serious all the time, and purposefully acting bad will actually be a challenge.

the problem comes with brienne. she hates the script for their little group; hates that shes the damsel, hates the stupid dress and hates that she got stuck with the smaller part. most of all she hates the fact that she has to kiss jaime at the end.

shes miserable. and for once, jaime actually tries to do something about it - brienne style, not his own. he cracks jokes, but ones he knows brienne will find funny and not offensive. (well. not too much.) he brings her coffee and tea whenever he gets his own. he actually compliments her - which doesn’t go down well for some reason, so he takes to subtly giving her advice and direction and (genuinely) constructive criticism, which she takes much better to.

eventually things thaw, and they end up having a blast halfway through their rehearsal time, they actually start laughing, joking together like they’re friends. jaime loves it. he starts to wonder if brienne does too.

but she always shut’s down towards the end, like she remembers herself. he gets cold goodbyes and she doesn’t stick around once he gathers her stuff.

so like any good friend/crush/work-buddy/enemy, he follows her home one night. he knows the apartment number from her keyring and he stops off at a nearby store once he finds out the building. once he’s well supplied with coffee, hot chocolate and snacks, and enough stationary to fill his car, he turns up outside.

he doesn’t get a warm welcome, instead she demands to know what kind of creep thinks its alright to follow her home.

he admits that it wasn’t the best thought out plan, but he shows her his offering and tells her his intention: they are going to take their weekend and re-write the script into something that is still fun, but isn’t some well-recycled misogynistic fairy tail princess and knight story that everyone and their great grandma has seen a million and one times.

she agrees. and doesn’t waste any time telling him that it would be much easier to use a laptop than write it out by hand.

he feels like an idiot. (especially when he remembers how god awful his left handed handwriting is and that he’d’ve probably had to make her do the writing anyway.) but it makes her laugh so thats alright.

things are frosty at first - but brienne has clearly been thinking about this pretty much since they got the original script handed to them, so she immediately launches into her idea and starts writing.

they agree to mostly keep everybody else’s parts the same, since its not fair to them to get a script change halfway through.

the stationary does get used - mostly for planning and idea scrapping. brienne is impressed by the collection of highlighters he amassed for going through the old script, and he lets her keep them. shes genuinely really happy about that.

and THATS the moment that he realises he’s in love with this sword nerd geeking out over four different 5 pack of highlighters.

eventually they call it a night. they’re both tired, and they have most of the script outlined and some parts already re-written. they can probably finish it completely by tomorrow.

brienne offers jaime the use of her couch for the night, since its early-late enough that theres no use in him going home if he’s just going to come back tomorrow.

it takes him by surprise, and he says. “such a kind offer m’lady. and here i thought you didn’t like me.”

and just like that, the easy atmosphere vanishes - as does brienne’s smile.

jaime realises he’s fucked up by finally talking about the elephant in the room. but they’ve had fun today, and even if she doesn’t like him like That, he wants to be friends. at least, he wants to know why she hates him. so he asks.

she hates that he talked down to her for most of the shoot. she thinks he doesn’t respect her. he hates that he can just wander about, doing what he wants - if she did that, she’s be blasted as unprofessional. she says that the women she knows had to work twice as hard as the men to get taken seriously in their line of work, and she’s had to work twice as hard as them - she’s not as pretty, she’s too tall and too brutish. shes lucky that she actually wanted to be in the kind of roles she does, they’re the only thing shes really suited for. and even then, she had to work so hard just to prove that she knew what she was doing, that she could fight. her earlier job quizzed her on all parts of the armour she would have to wear - and she knows for a fact that her co-workers hadn’t been asked that.

she says that all those things he said to her - about her height and her hair, the constant reminders that he was better than her, that he could take her even though they never actually fought, made her hate him. she was disappointed because she had heard so many good things about him - his passion, his drive, his devotion to the role - and had been disappointed by the arrogant prick who took everything for granted and avoided his responsibilities.

jaime responds that he was always like that - at least the last part. if she wanted the first part too then she should have done a film with him before he lost his hand. theres a lot of bitterness there, more than brienne expected, and she doesn’t know what to say.

so jaime speaks instead. he says how much of his role depended on his hand and how no one understood how fucking awful it was losing it because it was practically his identity. it was all well and good people telling him to go for other roles, but he enjoyed the ones he had - thats why he took them. thats why he hated having stunt doubles. in the past he just really wanted to do it himself. now it just reminds him that he cant do that shit any more. he tells her that a lot of that was why he was so difficult with her; he was jealous. jealous of her skill, and that she could still do what he couldn’t.

he acknowledges that he was a prick. he explains that most of it was just teasing, trying to get a rise out of her. he didn’t know how much it was actually getting to her since she never showed it and always gave as good as she got. he admits that he is self-absorbed; but he does try to look out for the women on the set. his sister used to be treated like shit on the sets she worked until she quit, but she had never shown or said anything about it, he hadn’t noticed because she seemed fine enough that he didn’t look for it.

she says thats because she was lucky in that set; the only problem was him. he’s fucking mortified and apologises profusely. he tells her that he does respect her - very much in fact. he admires her skill greatly and he admits that he knows that his brother bronn want to do more with her. he tells her he likes her, he’s seen her as a friend for most of the time even though she hated him, and she admits that she has had fun with him. when he’s not being an ass he’s fun to be around, and when he’s not being a cock he does seem to understand her. they get along well when they aren’t at each other’s throats.

they resolve to be friends, now that they’ve aired so much stuff. the air is still heavy, but jaime finds it more like the air after a long rain. thick and heavy but with the sun already starting to come through the clouds.

she lends him some sweatpants and a shirt to sleep in. they’re both too big and he plans on stealing them the next morning.

(spoiler alert: he doesn’t even change out of them the next day. when the script is done and he has to leave, she doesn’t even ask for them back and he leaves in them, a very very happy man.)

they take the script’s out to the show’s producers the next day and are impressed, particularly since the only major changes are to their own lines. any prop changes are small and require no additional cost, and there are no additional backgrounds or anything like that. everything gets the green light.

rehearsal goes so much better after that; their acting improves as it worsens and the two of them love it. brienne has a blast - finally able to loosen up properly and stay that way, no longer running out the door to avoid jaime. instead, they hang around while they pack up and hat. sometimes they go get dinner or a coffee afterwards, or go back to hang at brienne’s - since it’s nearer. jaime still hasn’t returned the clothing he stole. in fact, he steals more.

(thats fine though, because his favourite fleece plaid jacket and mustard yellow hoodie have been nabbed in return)

by the time the live production roles around the two of them are practically joined at the hip.

everything goes wonderfully. jaime, the dashing knight, manages to get to the princesses tower by ‘fighting’ anything in his way - aka being saved by multiple unrelated but coincidental things like falling branches and dragon’s being afraid of mice while jaime trips over his own sword - and when he gets there and shouts for the princess; gets told “MOVE.”

brienne, having ‘shorn off’ her massive plaid of hair before jaime got there, throws it down and uses it to rappel to the ground. jaime says hes come to rescue her, to which brienne replies that she ‘can to that myself, thanks.’ and reveals shes only been in the tower for a day. she rips off the tear-away bottom of her dress, picks up a sword, and proceeds to kick the ass of everything that comes their way after - including, of course, a bear - as she basically becomes jaime’s escort to the city and keeps him from getting killed.

then comes the big issue. the kiss scene, which they’ve never practiced because they both avoided so well that they hadn’t realised they hadn’t practiced until the moment they have to do it live on air.

it makes the final scene EXTREMELY awkward - which is Very Obvious and the audience finds absolutely hilarious - as they both realise and both Panic...

until brienne says in a very loud voice: “oh screw this” and grabs jaime by the fake leather doublet and essentially snogs the shit out of him - to the point where jaime has to scrabble to get hold of her and keep his balance and spends most of the kiss severely off balance on his tiptoes trying not to fall over.

the show gets the most donations ever recorded for that particular programme.

jaime and brienne’s newest film - which is brienne’s first production credit, since bronn and tyrion insisted she help write the script after finding out about her work on the last one - is a spy comedy that has brienne playing the lead role of the spy, and jaime has the wonderful role of the villain that falls very obviously head over heels in love with her and leave his evil ways behind - but not without bringing some tips and tricks to defeat the True villain of the film.

principal filming takes place the day they get back from their honeymoon, where they wrote a script for a knight movie that features jaime as the best knight getting his ass handed to him by brienne, and spending the rest of the movie trying to marry her. turns out that being a very lovestruck idiot is a role jaime suits rather well.

[angryangryaces]

Poison

The air smells of rain, burning fuel, and the countless small poisons that circulate in the city, and my scars ache in the cold, a filigree of pain tracing out the lines of my skeleton. My damned, addicted brain is hissing for me to press the button. I don’t listen to it. I throw my bag into the transport and pick a seat.

“Caller” walks us through the job on the way in. It’s straightforward: get in, grab a prototype from the testing labs, get out again. Minimal casualties, which is why he told us to bring hammerblow rounds. Ideal for a pack that doesn’t want to make the news.

One of the others looks at the chain holding my gun to my wrist. Must be a rook. They’ll learn. You can always tell a seasoned wolf; they stop looking at your little tricks and secrets and just let you get on with your job.

As we come in for a landing, I pull my hat down and make sure my kerchief is going to hide my rebreather. Combined with the goggles and the coat, it should be almost impossible for the watching gargs and other cameras to tell who I am. I’ve already checked my gear: submachine gun, machete, grapnels, a few kinds of blasting charge, a couple of different poisons.

***

The windows break the neon light from outside into rainbow fragments, which play over my coat. The stylised illustration of a winged figure giving gifts from heaven isn’t spiritual; it’s marketing. The gifts being dispensed have brand logos on them for the corp’s subsidiaries.

One of them has the stylised atom of Nucleus Energy on it, and my scars flare into pain for a split second. I know it’s psychological. I grit my teeth behind my collar and carry on.

Phase one is a cakewalk. “Caller” had some inside intel that this part of the building was going to be low-security, and that seems to be working fine: the rook, who I’ve learned is called “Mooch”, is keeping the cameras under control, looping some footage so none of them pick us up. It’s not going to last forever, but it doesn’t have to; we’re not under any given eye for too long, and most of the gargs are outside.

The next corridor is wrong. The walls are riddled with bullet holes and carved with a filigree of blade marks.  The mutilated bodies of corpsec guards are everywhere, limbs wrenched from their sockets and throats ripped out. Even through my rebreather, I can smell blood and gunfire, mingled with another smell: a thick, animal musk.

I’ve heard the rumours – everyone has, everyone knows this is happening, no matter how hard corpsec try to suppress it – but I hadn’t expected to see it here. You never do, right? It’s always a friend of a friend that runs into this shit.

This is going to suck.

***

“Mooch” is the first to pull the trigger. Not wise, exactly, but I can’t blame them; the dead guards are mute testimony to how deadly these things are, and it’s not like a full pack in tac gear is exactly subtle. Within seconds, everyone else has joined in. Hammerblow rounds patter off its hairy, gore-spattered skin like rain. A couple of them provoke flinches, leave a mark, but don’t slow it much.

It looks like someone took a very large, feral wolf and mashed it up with a man. Its head is mostly canine, although its teeth are larger than any reasonable animal’s, but the rest of it is chimeric: its apelike stance and powerful arms are human, or at least close to it, but its tail and hair are lupine, and its clawed hands aren’t really either. It’s also covered in blood and shreds of what might, once, have been a corpsec uniform.

It howls in fury and leaps at us.

***

According to “Mirai”, it’s all the fault of the veins and the other rich bastards. Says some conspiracy site put her onto it. Supposedly, the reason corpsec guards are so loyal to the veins, so weird and bootlicky, is that the labs figured out some kind of gene treatment, isolated the stuff from dogs that makes them so loyal, and the suits give it to the  When it goes too far, they change, when the scum at the top finish draining their humanity.

“Sigismund” says she’s full of shit. Genetics don’t work like that, and even if there was some secret tampering going on, it’d be more likely to lead to cancers than monsters. Mind you, he thinks it’s magic, so I’m not sure how reliable he is on the science. (He’s got a wild set of ideas about that, too. According to him, the beasts are nature unfettered, lashing out at the corp-choked world in a violent frenzy. Says he’s trying to figure out how to use that power constructively. Hasn’t gotten anywhere yet.)

Right now, though, the cause isn’t particularly critical. It doesn’t matter if it was made by mad science or black magic or if creatures like this are just a thing now. It’s bearing down on me, and there isn’t much I can do to stop it.

I hit the button.

***

Not a literal button, of course; jek doesn’t use physical controls. Instead, I mutter the activation phrase, and a pain like cold fire stabs into my veins as the injectors pump poison into my bloodstream. My whole body convulses, and the cold fire begins to heat up. The part of me that’s given in, the addict in my mind, it tinges the whole process with an edge of lust that shames me. Even so, I’m not stupid enough to pick this fight without it.

The effect is almost immediate. My gear feels like it’s made from cotton candy. My original bones would have already shattered from the convulsion, but the substitutes are doing their job. My vision fogs around the edges, but it’s almost supernaturally clear at the centre – I can make out the beast’s individual hairs, and the shattered remnants of a corpsec radio headset dangling from its neck like a collar.

I give it a burst in the face before it hits me. I can tell it felt the impacts, but it barely slows before tackling me to the ground and knocking my gun out of my hands. Fine by me; the bullets aren’t helping much anyway. The others will have to go on, take care of the mission while I fight. It’s probably best; jek isn’t just physical, and it’s poison for a pack. Nobody on jek is a team player.

The force of the tackle rolls us into the last corridor, but my armour protects me from the impacts. Coat’s not going to be salvageable, though; it has claw marks in it now. Without the jek, I’d have been knocked a lot sillier than I am.

As the beast lunges for me, I bring up my machete. It doesn’t dig deep, but jek-fuelled muscles drive it through the skin. The beast’s blood is surprisingly bright – what little of it comes out, anyway.

It seems to have decided I need to be tenderised before I’m eaten. It scoops me up and slams me into the wall. My goggles dim; the beast has its back to a window, and the neon light from outside would be streaming into my eyes, so they’ve compensated.

Then it all comes to me at once: the window could be my solution here. The beast is recovering quickly; it’s already stopped bleeding. I’m not going to win this one-on-one, and if the pack know what they’re doing, they’ve already headed for the objective. I have to do something unexpected.

I fire one of my wrist grapnels. It hits the window, and the motors whirr. It’s designed for heavy loads, and after a frozen moment while it calculates the weight, it retracts, dragging both of us into the window.

The beast is surprised, but not enough to disorient it. It thrashes around, its rage twisting metal and driving tinted duraglass out of its sockets.

The window gives way, and we both go over the edge.

***

On impact with the wall, one of my charges goes off unexpectedly. My spine doesn’t enjoy it, even through the pain-deadening haze of jek, but it doesn’t do serious harm; it just blasts a chunk out of the wall and flings us into traffic. The beast sinks its jaws into my left arm, and I let go of my machete; it disappears, never to be seen again.

As we tumble, I try and find some weakness. I can’t go for its eyes with any kind of accuracy, its bones are nearly as tough as mine, and even striking at the stomach only seems to make it angrier.

Our descent is bluntly interrupted by a corpsec lighter. Our impact with the cockpit shatters the duraglass canopy, so we must have been going down pretty hard – but, fortunately, the beast hits it first. The impact solves two of my problems at once. First, while landing still hurts like a bastard, even with jek, the beast takes the brunt of the impact. Second, the beast’s breath is laden with pink froth. After a moment, the rage flees its body, and it goes limp. Probably had some of the canopy driven into its lungs; not a pleasant death, but a final one.

The lighter skews wildly off-course, and I realise after a second that the pilot is either unconscious or dead. Corpsec lighters do have autopilots, but some people prefer the personal touch or are worried about reprogramming (a valid concern; “Mirai” once sent a half-dozen corpsec troopers on a routine patrol out of state as a prank), so not everyone uses them.

I don’t have a chance to get to the controls, but luckily, we’re headed towards a window. The pain in my entire body worsens a step as I see a giant Nucleus Energy logo, and then we hit.

***

I stagger to my feet, somehow still conscious. It’s almost impossible to break my bones now, but my right leg is definitely not as straight as I remember it being.

The window in question was right next to a meeting room, apparently. A stunned silence hangs in the air, but in a few seconds – even ones drawn out by jek – people are going to start yelling and running.

The big logo on the wall confirms it. This is a Nucleus Energy office. The bastards whose strontium leak cost me everything. Their poison had seeped into my bones, forced me to get them replaced. Left me with a debt I could only pay off by taking wolf jobs here and there. All my scars, all my wounds, this growing addiction to jek – all their fault. I can’t tell if I’m hurting worse because I know it’s them, or if my body is already redlining my pain receptors.

My jek-focused perceptions show me that one of them has a refrigerator briefcase here. A vein, then, carrying his supply of transfusions around with him. I can’t tell which of the others are veins, but they all might as well be: even if they haven’t had the treatment, they have the same kind of mind. The suits in this city are all the same: cold, bloodsucking bastards, they only care about themselves. The veins took a treatment that would strip their empathy and didn’t even notice. Even before that was developed, they gutted the land, poisoned the water, pumped fumes into the air. We’d be better off without them.

The weight of my gun dangling from my wrist is still there, and with jek reflexes, I could do a lot of damage here. Start at the door, work my way across. Even a vein’s boosted body can’t take a good hit to centre mass, and none of them look to be wearing much armour.

It won’t solve much, but it’ll be a little less poison in the city’s bloodstream.

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 63

Goddamn its been way too fuckin long aklsdjlasdjkad blame stupid ass Kingdom Hearts ANYWAY UF is back with a new chapter and its a pretty fun one I suppose. I kinda started rushing it about halfway through cause I wanna get it done and get onto the next one (aka fuckin emotional as hell fusion chapter) but ya know, things happens so here we are. And with that outta the way, I’ll leave ya to it. Enjoy!

Chapter 63: Bot Battle

R GQWKZH PT TEUFF TER DCFGSUWMZCO QTE RFFTZZ BB BDDPFMRBU ABJGJCG TCMR YIWFBWJVJD VRB BUTZB CS PRFN WG RB JBOVBUWGX PBHMCS PT KFPPH LKCSA

“Ahem,” Peridot loudly cleared her throat, garnishing the attention of the group gathered before her. After leaving the Kindergarten, the green Gem had made sure that Garnet, Pearl, and Ford, the only three who were uninformed about the Cluster after their latest misadventure, were all congregated together in the temple, Amethyst and the kids along with them to help in her explanation if need be. “As it seems I have no other options, I have conceded to reveal some important information to you about the Cluster.”

The Gems and the author said nothing to this, instead simply exchanging a dubious glance as they wondered whether or not Peridot had any intention of actually telling them the truth or not. Amethyst assured them that she was, however, by offering them a small nod, her expression gravely serious, even if the green Gem’s method of demonstrating exactly what the Cluster was to them was… less than serious.

With a snap of Peridot’s fingers, Steven shuffled forward, his entire body covered by a large cardboard box with a crudely-drawn Earth upon it. Dipper and Mabel walked alongside the young Gem largely to guide him along, since his vision was obscured by the box entirely.

“Behold!” Mabel exclaimed with a dramatic flourish, tossing a handful of glitter over the box as an added touch. “The Earth!”

“Hey!” Peridot snapped, glaring at the girl. “I was supposed to say that! Now… Behold, the Earth!” she began again, slapping the box with the flyswatter she was using as a baton and causing Steven to stumble back a bit as a result. “At the very center of this planet lies… the Cluster! Rotate,” she ordered, and with a little help from Dipper, Steven managed to turn himself and the box around to show another drawing, this time of the Cluster buried far beneath the Earth’s surface. “This is the Cluster. It’s a massive, artificial fusion composed of millions of Gem shards. It has laid dormant for thousands of years within this planet’s crust. When this Gem activates and takes its form, the result will be catastrophic. Now!”

Peridot hit the box once more, cuing Steven to begin shaking the box to build up suspense. Garnet, Pearl, and Ford all leaned forward in quiet dread, all three of them quite alarmed by what they’d already just heard about this Cluster. However, their worst fears were confirmed, albeit in a bit of an overexaggerated way when a rather silly, snake-like sock puppet burst through the drawing of the Earth on the box abruptly.

“BWAAAAA!” Steven growled loudly, thrashing the sock puppet around in faux violence, much to Peridot’s annoyance.

“What is that?” she asked with a scoff.

“It’s the Cluster!” Steven said through the puppet.

“I made it myself!” Mabel chimed in brightly. “I’ve been a bit of a sock puppet expert ever since I tried putting together this whole musical with them a few weeks back. It didn’t really turn out being exactly like I hoped it would, but… at least I was still able to make a good Cluster puppet with what I had left! Do you like it?”

“No!” Peridot huffed, swatting the puppet and Steven’s hand away. “The won’t look anything like that! B-but it is real,” she turned back towards the others. “And it can activate at any moment, destroying this planet and everything on it in the process! Including all of us!”

“And there was probably a much easier way to explain all of that that didn’t involve using a box and a sock puppet,” Dipper remarked somewhat dryly, sending the green Gem a critical glance.

“They’re called visual aids,” Peridot countered coldly. “And yes, they were necessary in getting the point of the Cluster across to these clods! They certainly never would have understood it without them, I can assure you.”

“Believe me,” Garnet spoke up, her tone and expression both grim after everything they’d just learned. “We would have.”

“What a Cluster, huh?” Amethyst asked, somewhat sarcastically, though there was still a hint of dread in her tone.

“And I thought Bill’s intentions for the Earth were bad…” Ford muttered to himself, his eyes wide with concern. “But this is arguably even worse. Who could have ever guessed that Homeworld could be so… vindictive over losing this planet all those years ago?”

“We should have…” Pearl whispered so quietly that none of the others heard her as her hands quickly slipped up to cover her mouth.

“This abomination must be stopped,” Garnet said, standing with firm resolve. “Before its too late.”

“B-but how?” Pearl asked, regathering her bearings. “We’d need to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth! It’ll have to-”

“Hey!” Peridot snapped impatiently, lashing her flyswatter out at the white Gem. “I wasn’t finished speaking yet! What we need is to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth.”

“Um, that’s literally what Pearl just said,” Dipper pointed out, crossing his arms.

“Furthermore,” Peridot continued, staunchly ignoring both him and the pointed glare Pearl was sending her way. “It’ll need to withstand up to 360 gigapascals of pressure and temperatures up to 9800 degrees.”

“And,” Ford cut in, adding his vast knowledge onto the discussion. “It’ll likely need to be outfitted with an advanced hyperflux engine in order to-”

“In order to cut through the Earth’s crust and get us down to the Cluster in a reasonable amount of time, yes of course,” Peridot rolled her eyes. “Anybody who has any inkling of intelligence at all would know that. Which is why I’m surprised that such a primitive creature like you would be able to figure it out.”

“Oh, I’ll show her ‘primitive’…” Ford growled, rolling up his coat sleeves a bit to give the green Gem a piece of his mind. At least until Pearl put up an arm to stop him just in time.

“Well, we mustn’t waste any time,” the white Gem concluded. “We need to start finding parts for this machine immediately.”

“Yes, obviously,” Peridot huffed, still irritated. “You all certainly do have a knack for stating what’s very plain to see, don’t you? Either way, we can start by dismantling all devices inside of this dwelling.”

Before anyone could object, Peridot hurried over to the kitchen, jumping up onto the counter and grabbing the microwave so she could pry it off of the cabinet it was connected to. “This simplistic radiation concentrator should come in handy!” she exclaimed, yanking it down with a heavy shout before it ultimately fell past her and onto the floor, breaking instantly.

“Whoa, wait!” Steven exclaimed, shaking the box off of him as he watched the green Gem with newfound alarm as she grabbed the phone lying on the nearby coffee table.

“This baseline vibration transmitter could possibly serve a function!” she cried before smashing the phone itself down onto the table to open it up and reveal its inner components. From there, she ran up to the loft, hoisting up Steven’s television, despite how heavy it was for her. “T-there’s a remote chance something useful could be inside this primitive image cube!”

Everyone down below flinched as the TV came crashing down to the ground, though fortunately, Steven was quick to finally put an end to Peridot’s frenzy before she could go on to break any more of his possessions. “Wait!” he exclaimed before evening things out. “I have a better idea that doesn’t involve destroying the house!”

While most of the others were still largely wrapped up in their concern over the Cluster, Amethyst couldn’t help but crack a smile over this, knowing that even when the rest of them were at a loss over what to do, the young Gem usually wasn’t. “Classic Steven.”

The so-called “Universe Family Barn” had been largely untouched ever since the last ill-fated engineering project took place there. Despite the fact that Pearl’s space ship had been an abject failure, fortunately, there was still a large abundance of leftover junk and scrap materials to be found within its spacious wooden haul. Which was why, upon Steven’s suggestion, the others were all quick to agree that it would be the best place to build their planned drill, hoping that with the space and materials allotted to them, they’d be able to construct what they needed to in whatever amount of time they had left. Which, for all any of them knew, might not be very much time at all.

“Hm… well its no Helusian-9 hyperdronics scrap yard,” Ford remarked as he looked over what they had to work with alongside the kids. “But I suppose it’ll have to do. After all, I’ve made do with much less than this before.”

“It should be adequate enough for us to get started, at least,” Pearl noted thoughtfully. “First, I recommend we organize the component types available to us.”

“And while you’re working on that, I can assemble a rough schematic based on what we have!” Ford finished, adjusting his glasses.

“Wow, it seems like you guys already have this whole drill thing fully figured out,” Dipper said, thoroughly impressed by their smooth organization.

“Well, my boy, I’ve always found it wise to plan ahead, especially when dealing with a massive mutant geoweapon,” the author concluded with a knowing grin.

“Oh, I completely agree, Stanford!” Pearl exclaimed, clasping her hands together. “You know, in a way, this will be a bit nostalgic considering our days working together on that portal way back when.”

“Yes, but unlike that disaster,” Ford frowned, though he quickly perked up upon realizing he was righting a wrong with this project. “This is going to save the Earth rather than nearly destroy it.”

“It certainly is a much more noble cause, I’ll say that much,” Pearl chuckled warmly. Her smile quickly fell, however, upon noticing the rather cutesy, simplistic drawing of the drill that Steven and Mabel had collaborated on on the chalkboard just outside of the barn. “Um... sorry, kids, it’s a lovely drawing, but it won’t look much like this at all…”

“Aw…” Mabel pouted as Steven stopped spinning around on his stool, frowning. “And I thought we hit the nail on the head with it too!”

“Hm…” Peridot finally spoke up, her ongoing silent musing coming to an end as she nodded complacently. “Good. Yes, this is adequate. Thank you, you can go now,” she said to Pearl in particular.

“Uh… what?” Pearl raised an eyebrow, exchanging a confused glance with Ford.

“Hm?” the green Gem paused, confused herself until she clapped lightly, waving the white Gem off. “Um, that will be all?” Pearl let out a small, incredulous scoff at this, realizing exactly what Peridot was playing at with her dismissive attitude, and deciding she was going to have none of it. Still, Peridot persisted as she leaned over to Steven and whispered to him rather obviously. “How do I get her to leave?”

“Excuse me, I’m not leaving,” Pearl said, her hands on her hips as she looked down to the green Gem critically.

“Ugh… very well then,” Peridot rolled her eyes. “I suppose you can stand here and hand me supplies as I call for them, even if that’s not what you’re supposed to do… Same goes for you, you… oddly appendaged human,” she said to Ford, barely sparing him a second glance.  

“Pardon me?” Ford remarked somewhat harshly, crossing his arms as he scowled down at the green Gem. “Neither of us are simply going to stand around passively while you do all the work on the drill, Peridot. If we want to get this project done right, then we all need to-”

“Oh, no, I have it covered,” Peridot assured succinctly. “After all, I don’t want a Pearl and some basic human getting in my way. Really, you’d both only slow me down.”

Needless to say that both Pearl and Ford were quite offended by the green Gem’s haughty remarks, yet before they could say anything to challenge them, Steven interjected instead. “Peridot, that’s not fair,” the young Gem shook his head earnestly. “Pearl and Mr. Ford are two of the smartest people I know! They just gotta help us build this drill thingy; they’ll do a great job on it, I’m sure!”

Peridot only let out a small, snide snicker at this, not taking Steven seriously whatsoever. “No, no, you must be confused. A Pearl can’t build a thing like this. And a human certainly couldn’t.”

“And why is that?” Dipper asked rather caustically, starting to take offense to what the green Gem was saying himself as Steven and Mabel were too.

“Well, isn’t it obvious?” Peridot asked plainly. “You humans are simple. Your society and your very understanding of the physical properties of the world around you is lightyears behind, at best. And don’t even get me started on your painfully primitive technology. If your engineering skills can’t even match up to the most basic of Homeworld’s tech,” she said, turning back to Ford and offering him a smug, satisfied grin. “Then how in the stars could you possibly expect to design and construct a machine this advanced and complex?”

“Oh, I have a feeling you’d be very surprised by what I know when it comes to engineering…” Ford muttered quite angrily, knowing he had much to draw on thanks to his 30-year stint traveling the many diverse, often futuristic landscapes of the multiverse. “In fact, I’d almost be willing to wager that I have even more knowledge on that front than you do.”

“Ha! Don’t make me laugh,” Peridot chuckled coldly. “As if your weak organic mind could even compare to the lowliest of Gems! Speaking of lowly Gems…” Her teasing smile only widened as she turned to Pearl, who was already quite incensed herself. “You should know better than anyone that you Pearls aren’t even for this sort of thing! You’re for standing around, and looking nice, and holding stuff for higher ranking Gems! Right?”

“Ugh! That’s enough!” Pearl snapped fiercely, refusing to hear any more, even though she knew it was true. By Homeworld’s standards, at least. “If we’re going to work together, Peridot, then you’re going to have to listen to us. Both of us.”

“Listen… to you?!” At this, Peridot broke down into another heavy gale of laughter, one that only served to irritate Pearl and Ford even more. “Did you teach her to talk like this?” Peridot asked Steven with an incredulous smirk. “Because that’s just rich!”

“Uh… what are you talking about?” the young Gem asked, still not following.

“Uh, duh,” the green Gem said, as though it was obvious. “She’s a Pearl. She’s a made-to-order servant, just like the hundreds of other Pearls being flaunted around back on Homeworld!”

“Wait…” Steven mused, his eyes wide as Mabel let out an awed gasp beside him. “There are… hundreds of Pearls?!”

“W-well, yes,” Pearl admitted with an embarrassed blush. “But-”

“And she looks like she’s a fancy one too…” Peridot remarked, examining Pearl’s sash before the white Gem snatched it away from her with an appalled gasp.

“Hundreds of Pearls…” Steven repeated, still dumbfounded by such a fact.

“I wanna meet every single last one of them!” Mabel quipped, jumping up and down excitedly. “Especially if they’re anywhere near as cool as our Pearl!”

Despite her ongoing mortification, Pearl couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at this, touched by the sentiment despite the green Gem’s cynicism. “Well…”

“So,” Peridot interupted once more, looking over the white Gem expectantly. “Who do you belong to anyway?”

“NOBODY!” Pearl shouted harshly, refusing to allow herself to ever return to the simplistic, servantile mindset she was created with again.

“Then… what are you for?” the green Gem asked, baffled. Pearl gave her no response, instead swiftly turning away in the hopes that it would curtain this uncomfortable conversation, but of course, it didn’t. “Well… you can belong to me for now,” Peridot concluded. “And so can the human,” she nodded over at Ford, who was rather shocked by the implication. “After all, I’ve always wanted a pet of my own. Ha! A Peridot with a Pearl and a pet human! What would they say back home?”

“Oh, absolutely not!” Ford exclaimed hotly, his hands clenched into tight fists. “I am nobody’s pet! Especially not yours, you… you egotistical, impudent little brat!”

“Yeah, that’s right!” Pearl spoke up before Peridot could even try to get a word in edgewise. “Listen here, you tiny twerp! In case you’ve forgotten, you’re on our turf now! And I didn’t fight a thousand-year war for this planet’s independence to take orders from the likes if you!”

“Excuse me?!” Peridot gasped, appalled by their brashness. “I’m a natural technician, and a certified Kindergartener.”

“Well she sure does act like one…” Dipper remarked to Mabel with a small, amused grin as his sister chuckled to herself.

“I was made for this!” the green Gem continued insistently. “You were made to wallow around in the dirt your planet is made of,” she said, shooting a hard glare up at Ford. “And you were made to take orders, not give them!” she finished, snapping at Pearl relentlessly. “Which is why you’re both going to stop your incessant, rebellious behavior and listen to the Gem in charge here, at once!”

“Oh really?” Pearl countered as both her and Ford leaned in forward towards Peridot amidst the palpable growing tension. “We’ll just see about that…”

“Whoa, whoa! Hang on, guys!” Steven cut in, jumping in between the pair and the green Gem before any sort of violence could break out. “Now, we can all agree that all three of you are good at building things, so… why can’t you try listening to each other?”

“NO!” Pearl, Ford, and Peridot all exclaimed in staunch, harsh unison, each of them refusing to reconcile over their incredibly vast differences.

“Ford and I are just as good at building things as you!” Pearl hissed down at the green Gem angrily. “Better even!”

“Together, we could easily prove everything you said about us completely wrong,” Ford added just as intently.

“Ha!” Peridot scoffed, still not taking either of them seriously, despite their adamance. “Name one thing you two can engineer better than I can. Go on!”

“Advanced lighter-than-air spacecraft!” Pearl asserted boldly.

“Trans-universal, interdimensional portals!” Ford added with just as much passion.

“Robots.”

“Huh?” the trio all turned to Steven as he let out a softly whispered suggestion.

“You should build robots,” the young Gem continued, stars in his wide eyes as he stepped forward, an excited smile growing on his face. “Giant robots! I see a race. A giant robo-race! With prizes! Giant robo-prizes!”

“Oh! Oh! And cheerleaders! Giant robo-cheerleaders!” Mabel added enthusiastically.

“Uh, that might be going a bit too far, Mabel,” Dipper pointed out, though even he wasn’t able to avoid the building excitement for too long. “Still, a huge robot battle sounds like it’d be so cool!”

“You mean like a competition?” Pearl frowned, confused.

“Yeah!” Steven nodded. “To see who’s better at building things. It could be you and Mr. Ford vs. Peridot in the ‘Robot Rumble of the Ages!’ I came up with the name myself!”

“What are these ‘robots’ you speak of?” Peridot asked, not following.

“Oh, they’re sorta like those cute lil’ marble guys you were sending here,” Mabel grinned. “Only these are gonna be way bigger! With lasers! And huge grabby hands!” To prove her point, she playfully imitated a robot, making fake beeping noises as she waved her arms around Peridot until the green Gem waved her away in annoyance.

“Ha! Give me an actual challenge here,” Peridot remarked haughtily. “Building one of these ‘robots’ will be easy!”

“W-well, we can build one faster!” Pearl proclaimed with daring zeal.

“I’d like to see you try!” the green Gem shot back, not wasting anymore time in rummaging through the parts the barn had to offer. Pearl was just about to leap in and do the same, yet before she could, Ford unexpectedly stopped her.

“Pearl, wait,” the author began evenly. “As much as I really hate to admit it… Peridot could be right after all. Even our shared mechanical knowledge might not be enough to counter the experience she’s had with all that advanced Homeworld technology… It pains me to say this, but… I think we might just be out of our league here…”

“Oh, what?” Pearl scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Come on, Stanford, don’t tell me you, of all people, is admitting defeat to a cocky little… for lack of a better word, clod, like her?”

“Oh, believe me, Pearl, I’m as far as humanly possibly from admitting defeat,” Ford smirked, his hands behind his back. “But I do think we’d do well with a little extra help on our side. And fortunately for us, I just so happen to know someone with a rare and brilliant knack for robotics in particular.”

“Um… and who might that-” Pearl gasped, her eyes widening with alarm as she realized exactly who the author was thinking of. “Oh, Stanford, please don’t tell me you’re talking about-”

“That’s right,” Ford nodded, his smile finally fading into slight apprehension as he briefly thought back on the past. “We need Fiddleford. H-he… wouldn’t happen to still be living here in Gravity Falls after all these years… would he?”

“Uh… I guess you could say that…” Mabel spoke up with a small frown.

“Um… Mr. Ford?” Steven said with a sympathetic frown. “Mr. McGucket, well… he’s…”

“He’s… not exactly like you remember him anymore…” Pearl said softly, looking down with remorse. “Let’s just say that…”

“B-but… he’s still… around, isn’t he?” Ford asked, growing steadily more concerned with the unknown fate of his old friend.

“Yeah, he is,” Dipper nodded. “But… its been a few weeks since we’ve seen him. I wonder what he’s been up to since that whole Blind Eye thing…”

“Blind Eye?!” Ford exclaimed, aptly alarmed. “Those robe-wearing freaks are still around?! They only just started popping up around here right after our portal went wrong, what could they-”

“They were still around,” Pearl interjected, crossing her arms. “Until we took care of them once and for all.”

“W-well then… what of Fiddleford?” the author pressed anxiously. “Is he alright? Where can we find him?”

Pearl and the kids exchanged something of a worried glance, knowing that Ford would certainly revile the truth once he learned it. Not that they intended to keep it from him anyway, since his desire to reunite with his old partner seemed to run deeper than just wanting another hand in helping them beat Peridot at her own game.

Which was why Pearl stepped forward, carrying plenty of regret of her own as she decided to take the author to exactly who he wanted to see, no matter what might happen as a result. “You’re not going to like this, but…”

“I-I… I can’t believe it…” Ford shook his head, the shame in his tone unmistakable as they all stood before the entrance to Gravity Falls’ dump. Pearl and the kids had spent the entire trip there explaining McGucket’s rather disheartening story to the author, who could only really react to it with shock and guilt that he was far too ashamed to hide. “I… I knew that Fiddleford had taken his… horrific experience with the portal harshly, but I could have never imagined he would have used that infernal memory gun to…” Ford trailed off, letting out a sad sigh as he shook his head and looked back to the ramshackle shack Pearl and the kids had told him McGucket now called home. “If what you all have told me really is true… then this is all my fault…”

“Oh, Stanford…” Pearl frowned, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “This isn’t your fault. There’s no way you could have known; there’s no way any of us could have known… Because believe me, if Rose and Garnet and Amethyst and myself had known, then we certainly would have done everything in our power to help him…”

The most Ford could offer in response to such a solemn sentiment was a small, but weary smile. However, upon noticing the palpable remorse between the pair, Steven was quick to step in to try and alleviate it. “Maybe you guys weren’t able to help Mr. McGucket back then…” he began with a frown that soon turned into a reassuring smile. “But the good news is you can still help him now! Heck, we already have by helping him get back his memories!”

“Yeah!” Mabel chimed in enthusiastically. “Which is why I’m sure he’ll totally down to help you guys out with building your super-cool giant robot!”

“Wait, that’s why you clods dragged us all the way out here to this disastrous waste depository?” Peridot asked, baffled as she finally tuned into the conversation. Since the green Gem still needed to be watched carefully lest she run off on her own again, Ford and Pearl agreed that they had to bring her along with them to the junkyard so they could keep an eye on her. Of course, the green Gem had protested, especially when they more or less forced a leash on her to keep her from escaping. Still, she ultimately had no choice in coming along, and was clearly appalled upon learning exactly what the point of this outing really was. “I can’t believe you’re wasting my valuable time that I could be using to build my machine that will no doubt pummel yours into the ground just so you can find this ‘McGucket’ creature! This is completely asinine!”

“Well, its not any more ‘asinine’ than you thinking you can actually take Pearl and Great Uncle Ford on in an inventing battle and win,” Dipper remarked with a rather sarcastic smirk that succeeded in eliciting a frustrated growl from Peridot.

“Well… I suppose we should head inside…” Pearl said with a hint of apprehension in her tone. Without any further deliberation, the group approached the hillbilly’s shack as Mabel went on ahead to knock on the door.

“Old Man McGucket! You in there?” she called. “We have something we need to…. Ask you…?” she trailed off as the brittle wooden door slowly creaked open on its own accord, allowing everyone to peak in to see the rather ruinous state the shack had been left in.

McGucket’s home wasn’t usually the cleanest, given its spot right in the heart of the junkyard, but now it certainly seemed to even more of a wreck than it usually was. What few actual possessions the hillbilly had were strewn and scattered all over the tiny shack in a chaotic, disorganized mess. And even more mysterious than the hectic state before them was the fact that McGucket himself was seemingly nowhere to be found within it.

“Whoa, it like a hurricane blew through here…” Dipper noted with a worried frown.  “I wonder what could have happened?”

“Its strange…” Pearl nodded fretfully. “It almost seems like the place has been entirely abandoned, and in quite a frantic rush at that… But if Fiddleford isn’t here, then were could he-”

The white Gem cut herself off as a sudden clamor sounded from the small window on the far side of the shack. Startled, everyone tucked away behind a rather large pile of garbage to see exactly who was apparently breaking into the shack for some unknown reason. Though, ironically enough, said perpetrator just so happened to be the very hillbilly that called it home.

McGucket let out a loud cry of alarm as he haphazardly slipped in through the open window, landing hard on the other side of it into a pile of miscellaneous scraps. “Aw, conswarnit!” the hillbilly huffed, clearly exasperated as he picked himself up off the ground and began hurriedly picking through his scattered possessions. “Now where’d I put those darn things? They’ve gotta be around here somewhere! I can’t spend all day ‘round here lookin’ for ‘em! I gotta skedaddle outta here again before that confounded portal blows this whole town sky high!”

“The portal?” Ford whispered with a concerned gasp as he leaned out from behind their hiding spot a bit. However, in doing so, he accidentally happened to knock over a stray empty can from the pile, which of course, garnished McGucket’s attention the instant it hit the ground.

“Whazzit?! Who’s there?!” the hillbilly exclaimed fearfully, swiping up a nearby frying pan off the ground and brandishing it as threateningly as he could. “I got me a cast iron skillet here, and I ain’t ‘fraid to use it! I’m warnin’ ya!”

“Whoa, hey, its ok!” Steven assured as him, Dipper, Mabel, and Pearl stepped out first. Ford nearly joined them, but decided to hang back at the last second, both to make sure Peridot was restrained and out of fear as to how McGucket might react to him after so many years. “Its just us! L-long time no see, huh, Mr. McGucket?”

“Oh!” McGucket gasped with apt relief as he lowered his pan. “W-well howdy, kids! A-and howdy to you too, Miss Pearl…” he said, inclining his head in respect for the white Gem.

“H-hello again, Fiddleford,” Pearl greeted somewhat awkwardly, mostly since she know fully remembered the rapport herself and the other Gems used to have with him. “How have you been since… well, since your memories were returned to you?”

“I… gotta admit I’ve seen better days…” McGucket frowned, scratching the back of his neck as he looked down fretfully. “B-but I’m afraid I don’t got time to stand around here and catch up. I only came back here to get my handy dandy whittlin’ spoon,” he said, holding said very old, very bent up spoon up. “I gotta hightail it back to the bunker in the woods, and I reckon ya’ll do the same! It’s the only place where any of us has a chance at bein’ safe once that darn portal opens up and-”

“Uh… actually… the portal sort of… already opened,” Dipper pointed out.

“…W-what?” McGucket asked, his eyes wide with growing fear. “B-but… but that’s impossible! If that confangled portal opened up, t-then none of us would even be standin’ here right now! It would have blown us, this town, maybe even the whole entire world to smithereens! It would have started the end times, the apocalypse! And worst of all, it would have let that… darn, dastardly demon out to terrorize us all!”

“W-well, then, we certainly were lucky. It didn’t destroy everything and it didn’t let him out, thank goodness,” Pearl clarified with a sigh of relief. “But… it did bring someone else back instead…” At this, the white Gem glanced over at Ford, who still really had no idea how exactly he intended on facing his old partner, much less what to even say to him. Still, the author knew that it was either now or never, which was why he took in a deep breath to steady himself before finally stepping out of hiding to face his former friend for the first time in over 30 years.

“H-hello… Fiddleford,” Ford said with a small, bittersweet smile as he took in just how hard the passage of time had apparently been on the once youthful inventor before him. “It… certainly has been a long time… hasn’t it?”

The very moment McGucket saw Ford, his spoon and his pan instantly fell to the floor in a crash that seemed to rattle the entire shack before things quickly fell into a heavy silence. For what seemed like ages, the hillbilly simple stared at the author, his jaw dropped in apparent stunned shock and also hints of confusion, as if he was still trying to process exactly who his old friend was. None of the others really thought to interject, not even Peridot, who simply stood by the kids, completely uninvested in the ongoing situation entirely. Even so, the atmosphere between the author and the inventor was tense, yet unreadable, neither of them really knowing what to say or do next. That is, until McGucket slowly, cautiously, decided to break that silence and his own shock.

“S-Stanford…” the inventor whispered, his voice barely audible as he placed a ginger hand against his head. “I… It… it’s all comin’ back to me now… T-there were still a few gaps left in my memory b-but now… seein’ you… I… reckon they’re startin’ to fill in again…”

“Oh, w-well, then that’s good!” Ford said with something of a forced smile, one racked with hidden guilt over the fact that McGucket had lost those memories in the first place. “I… I’ve heard… Pearl and the children told me everything. A-and I’m…” The author trailed off, glancing down as if a sudden conflict had filled him before he shook his head, almost as if to clear it. “It’s… a shame what happened to you, Fiddleford, truly it is. B-but I am glad to know that you’re on the steady road to recovering from it all.”

McGucket flinched upon hearing this, his surprise filling in with something else. Something that seemed akin to hurt rather than shock. “Is… is that all?” he asked, arcing an eyebrow.

“I… yes?” Ford frowned, confused. “I suppose it is. Why do you ask?”

The inventor simply let out a small, almost harsh chuckle at this as he shook his head sardonically. “You haven’t changed a bit, have ya, Stanford?” he asked. “Looks like you’re still ridin’ on that high horse of yours’, just like you were all them years ago.”

“Wha—high horse?” the author repeated with a baffled scoff. “And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?”

“It means, you’re still just as full of pride as you ever were, Stanford,” McGucket remarked, his tone turning a bit sourer. “Even after all these years and everythin’ that happened, you still won’t admit that you were wrong about that gosh-darn portal of yours! You still won’t admit that you made a mistake!”

“Now, that’s where you’re wrong, Fiddleford,” Ford countered evenly. “I-I will admit that the portal was a complete and utter disaster in retrospect. It was something we never should have built which is why I fixed it by dismantling it altogether. At the very least I did my best to right the wrongs I had caused, unlike someone else I happen to know.”

“W-who, me?” McGucket asked, caught off guard by this accusation.

“Yes, you,” the author clarified, crossing his arms. “After our mishap with the portal, you were the first to rush out without even sparing a second thought towards helping me stop the damage it could have potentially caused! Even Rose came back to lend a hand after she quit, but you never did, Fiddleford! From what I heard, you were far too busy essentially burying your head in the sand by using that awful invention of yours to wipe your own memories than to help fix a problem that you were just as responsible for as I was!”

“I would’ve never had to do that if your cockamamie plans hadn’t gone as far off the rails as they did!” McGucket shot back just as harshly. “I tried warnin’ ya that portal was gonna end in disaster, Stanford, we all did! But the only ones you ever listened to were yourself and that confounded ‘muse’ of yours! You were as stubborn as a springtime mule back then, and you’re every bit as stubborn now since you still can’t see just how wrong you really were!”

“I’m stubborn?” Ford gasped, appalled by such a claim. “You’re the one who’s stubborn, Fiddleford! You had so much talent, so much potential to make a name for yourself, but you always held yourself back, even as far back as when we were in college! You could never see beyond just yourself, you never dreamed of anything greater, and that’s where you always fell short! You were content to spend the rest of your days toiling away in mediocrity, and look where that’s gotten you? Even lower than that! You may blame me for the sorry state you’re in now, but as far as I can see, you did this to yourself.”

“Alright, that’s quite enough from both of you!” Pearl suddenly interjected, quickly placing herself in the middle of this brutal confrontation. Likewise, the kids also stepped forward, none of them wanting to see such an intense fight between such close former friends, even if none of them really knew how to intervene in a situation none of them really had any parts in. “Believe me, I know just how upset both of you are over this… mess. We were all very upset over it too but… its over now… Like Stanford said, the portal is gone now. M-most of our worries from all those years ago are over. We need to move on. We have to move on. After all… we have much bigger things to worry about now.”

“Yeah, like the Cluster!” Mabel exclaimed boldly.

“And the drill,” Dipper added, a bit more seriously.

“And finding out who’s going to be in charge of building said drill,” Peridot spoke up haughtily. “Which, just in case you all forgot, is going to be me!”

None of the others bothered to argue with the green Gem at this point, knowing that they had more important matters to attend to at the moment than trying to deflate her obviously massive ego. Instead, Ford collected himself, letting out a long sigh as he calmed down to address McGucket evenly. “Ah yes, that’s right. Fiddleford, the real reason why we came here was-”

“We need your help,” Pearl cut in, deciding that this would likely turn out better if she was the one to ask McGucket for his aid as opposed to Ford. “We have to construct a robot for this… competition, so to speak, and Ford and I thought we would ask you for your help on it. After all, Fiddleford, if I recall correctly, you do have quite a knack for engineering projects of this scale, and certainly your vast skill and talents would be invaluable in helping us-”

“I’m sorry, Miss Pearl, but I’m gonna have to stop ya right there,” McGucket shook his head, holding a hand up to interrupt. “I love buildin’ me a giant, rampaging robut as much as the next feller, and if it was just for you, well, I reckon I’d be more than happy to help. But I just don’t think I’m willin’ to work on another lil ‘project’ with Stanford again, ‘specially after how the last one turned out.”

“Oh, why am I not surprised?” Ford huffed crossly. “There you go, limiting yourself all over again. So much inventing and mechanical talent, and for what? For it to all go to waste while you hunker down here in the middle of a literal dump? We’re offering you a chance to assist us with what would most likely be the first worthwhile thing you’ve done in years and you’re just turning it down out of spite?”

“Believe me, Stanford, you’d know if this was outta spite,” McGucket rolled his eyes as he walked past the baffled author. “I’m turnin’ ya’ll down ‘cause I think I’ve wasted enough time puttin’ my inventing skills towards your hairbrained schemes. I reckon my so-called ‘talents’ would be better used elsewhere.”

“Elsewhere, hm…?” Peridot muttered to herself, having become gradually more intrigued by this conversation as it went along. While the green Gem still didn’t put much stock in humans and their technical abilities, she couldn’t help but think that perhaps this McGucket human could be some use to her after all, even if it was for nothing more than the sake of leveling the playing field in her favor. “In that case, I might just have an interested proposition for you, you… McHuman or whatever your name was,” she began with a knowing smirk.

“Huh? Peridot, what are you-” Steven was cut off as the green Gem suddenly shoved him back by his face so she could approach McGucket herself.

“Well, golly, take a gander at you!” the hillbilly exclaimed in amazement upon spotting the green Gem. “And who’re you supposed’ta be? Some sorta lil’ green space alien?”

“Ugh, why do all of you simple-minded humans insist on calling me that!?” Peridot huffed, annoyed.

“Probably because you actually are one,” Dipper remarked with a bit of a wry smirk.

“Ugh, Fiddleford, this,” Pearl interjected, nodding over at the miffed green Gem. “Is Peridot. She’s supposed to be helping us with this drill project, but she’s so hung up over who’s going to lead the project that she insists that we compete in some sort of… ridiculous robot battle!”

“But I thought the robot battle was your idea, Steven,” Mabel whispered over to the young Gem aside.

“Huh, you know, I thought it was too…” Steven frowned, confused.

“W-which is why,” Pearl interjected evenly. “We came to came to ask for your-”

“Which is why I’m asking for your… assistance in helping me build my own ‘robot’ device, y-you… human,” Peridot interjected quite awkwardly and completely unexpectedly at that.

“What?!” just about everyone else in the shack asked in completely baffled unison as they all turned to the green Gem with wide eyes.

“W-what do you mean you want his assistance?” Pearl asked, looking down to Peridot with apt shock. “Just awhile ago, you were claiming that human technological skills were ‘inferior’ to your own. So why would you suddenly want to team up with one now?”

“I recall saying no such thing!” Peridot huffed, putting on a front of appalled innocence really only for McGucket. “And besides, according to you two, this one is quite adept at building one of these robots, so why not have him on my side?”

“Huh, you know, she does kind of have a point…” Steven noted. “After all, 2 vs 2 is much more fair than 1 vs 3 when it comes to just about anything, from fun little minigames, to huge, intense robot battles!”

“Y-yes,” Peridot agreed staunchly as she turned back towards Ford and Pearl. “And besides, he’s already made it very clear that he has no intentions of working with you, isn’t that right…. You?” she asked, glancing back over at McGucket.

However, before the hillbilly really had a chance to say anything for himself, the author was quick to intervene. “Please, don’t be ridiculous,” Ford scoffed, crossing his arms. “Even if he doesn’t want to work with us, there’s not a single, solitary chance in the multiverse that Fiddleford would ever team with the likes of you. Why, the very thought of it is-”

“Isn’t as plum-crazy as ya’ll might think it is…” McGucket spoke up, his tone surprisingly thoughtful, though rigid determination filled it as he turned to address Peridot. “Ya want yourself a robut buildin’ partner, greenie, well, ya got one.”

“YES!” Peridot cheered, completely ignoring the hand McGucket was holding out for her to shake as she heralded her victory over Pearl and Ford. “Ha! In your soon-to-be-very-upset-because-you’re-about-to-lose faces!”

“What? Fiddleford, tell me you’re not serious about this,” Ford said, pressing his way past the green Gem to address the inventor, who simply turned away from him crossly. “You can’t work with Peridot, she’s not-”

“‘Not to be trusted’?” McGucket finished, giving the author a critical glance over his shoulder. “Well, golly, Stanford, ain’t that the pot callin’ the kettle black. Still, just ‘cause I lost just about most of my memories doesn’t mean I lost all of my senses. I know what I’m doin’ here. Do ya think I’d go around dressin’ like this if I didn’t?” he asked, adjusting his large, hole-ridden hat.

“Does he really want us to answer that?” Pearl muttered to the kids, cringing somewhat.

“Augh! Enough talking!” Peridot interrupted with an impatient groan as she broke her way into the conversation. “The sooner we get these robots built, the sooner we can decide which one of them is the better one! Which will of course be mine.”

“I think ya mean ours,” McGucket corrected firmly before sending Ford a rather knowing look as he passed by him. “Unless you’re thinkin’ you can actually keep up, Stanford. Iffin’ I recall correctly, which I’m hopin’ I do what with the whole memory erasin’ tomfoolery I went through, ya never really did have a knack for robuts like I did…”

“O-oh yeah?” Ford retorted challengingly as he followed after them, flustered. “Well we’ll just see if your so-called ‘inventing prowess’ are really just as sharp as you think they are, McGucket! Come along Pearl, children. We have a robot to build…”

“Oh my…” Pearl sighed to herself, sending a concerned glace over at Ford and McGucket in particular as they left along with everyone else. “I have a feeling this is going to be a bit of a-”

“BOT BATTLE!” Steven and Mabel cheered in excited unison, already running on ahead so they could prepare themselves for the aforementioned, no-doubt spectacular bot battle that was about to take place.

For the next several hours, the barn was alive with the sounds of buzzing saws, pounding hammers, and whirling drills. Both of the stalwart teams had plenty of materials to work with amongst the various scraps and scroungings the barn had to offer and Pearl and Ford and Peridot and McGucket alike made sure to utilize just about every piece they could get their hands on to their respective advantages. Pearl and Ford were already more than used to working together on projects such as this, though their usual team rapport was somewhat shaken by the author’s intensive drive to beat his former partner at his own game. As a result, Pearl was quick to pick up on the hectic, almost frantic pace Ford seemed to be working it, disregarding any sort of careful planning in order to complete their bot as soon as possible, a sentiment that the white Gem adopted herself whenever she so much as entertained the thought of Peridot goading her possible victory over their heads.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Peridot and McGucket were a rather scatterbrained team themselves. The concept of “teamwork” was all but lost on the pair as they each carried out their own respective tasks in their own respective ways. The green Gem was methodical in her approach, her expertise in Homeworld tech giving her an advantage as she adapted to what she had at her disposal to build with. The hillbilly’s approach, however, seemed much more random and all over the place, to the point that it frustrated his Gem partner several times over. Needless to say that several small arguments broke out between the pair throughout the construction of their robot, yet even despite those skirmishes, progress on it carried on steadily, even if the technical vision behind it was rather mixed at best.

All the while, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel hung out around the entrance of the barn, all three of them eagerly watching the dazzling array of inventing at work before them. The kids were all unanimously excited to see what the outcome of this contest would be, even if they were largely rooting for Pearl and Ford to win. Still, they knew they were going to have to be the impartial judges of the competition to come, and together they had already thought up several challenges to put both bots through to see which team would come out on top.

“This robot contest is gonna be so cool!” Mabel exclaimed, gripping the side of the barn tightly. “Oh my gosh, you guys, you know what would be even cooler? If we built a giant robot just for us!”

“Oh, come on, Mabel,” Dipper rolled his eyes. “That’s… huh… you know what, that actually sounds like it would be pretty amazing, not gonna lie.”

“Yeah!” Steven exclaimed, enthused. “We could suit it up with all kinds of lasers and lights and we could paint it any color we want, and we could put a ton of stickers on it to make it look nice!”

“Yeah, like the one I gave Pearl and Grunkle Ford for their robot!” Mabel grinned, motioning over to the pair who was, ironically enough, fixing said colorful shooting star sticker to the side of their bot.

“Heya, kids,” Stan greeted as he, Garnet, and Amethyst made their way over to the barn. “I can’t believe you three and the ‘wonder nerds’ are still out here. What are you even doing anyway, working on building another rocket? Cause you better not be, if Pearl and Ford know what’s good for ‘em.”

“They’re not building a rocket,” Garnet clarified. “They should be working on the drill so we can stop the Cluster.”

“Well actually… we’re building robots now,” Steven shrugged with a small smile.

“Uh… why?” Amethyst asked, not following.

“We’re gonna have this huge robot contest so we can decide who’s gonna be in charge of building the drill!” Mabel informed brightly. “Its Pearl and Grunkle Ford vs. Peridot and Old Man McGucket in the Robot Rumble of the Ages! You guys gotta stick around and watch it with us!”

“Wait, what?” the purple Gem asked, still confused as she peeked into the barn. “McGucket? What’s he doing here and what’s he doin’ working with… Peridot? He used to be part of the Nerd Squad with Pearl and Ford way back when, what happened?”

“Um, its… kind of a long story…” Dipper said apprehensively. “Let’s just say McGucket and Great Uncle Ford didn’t really have the… smoothest reunion after what happened between them all those years ago.”

“Dang, I bet,” Amethyst crossed her arms. “Dude must be pretty miffed over that whole portal mess if he’s willing to pair up with Peri just to get back at Ford for it.”

“Aw, that can’t be why Mr. McGucket decided to work with Peridot,” Steven shook his head. “Can it?”

“I dunno, if I were ol’ whackjob and had a chance to take Sixer down a peg or two, I know I’d definitely take it,” Stan concluded, shrugging.

“We’ve all seen just how much McGucket went through because of Ford’s mistake with the portal,” Garnet added rationally. “In a way, I can see why he’d want to see some sort of justice for it, even if its in a small way like this.”

“Well that’s… kind of sad when you think about it…” Steven frowned as he looked back towards the barn. “If Mr. Ford and Mr. McGucket used to be such good friends, then they should be working together instead of fighting each other…”

“Don’t worry,” Garnet assured, placing a comforting hand on the young Gem’s head. “I’m sure they’ll patch things up sooner or later.”

Steven smiled halfheartedly at this, though before he could offer his thanks to the Gem leader, the sound of roaring engines rattled the entire barn. Everyone was quick to step out of the way as the first of the two robots, piloted by Pearl and Ford, gracefully rushed out of the barn and onto the lawn. The bot was sleek and elegant in its design, with thin, long metallic appendages, wheeled legs and six-pointed grips, and a small, repurposed, two seated cockpit forming its base. Overall, the machine seemed to built for speed and mobility as it swept a quick lap around the barnyard, with both the author and the white Gem controlling it in tandem before it made its swift stop before the amazed group still gathered near the barn.

“So, children,” Ford said as he stood within the cockpit, Pearl doing the same to show off her familiar blue spacesuit. “What do you think of our highly advanced automaton here?”

“Whoa…” Dipper gasped, awestruck as he stared up at the robot alongside Steven and Mabel. “So cool…”

“GIANT ROBOT!” Mabel squealed in delight. “And I love how the sticker looks on it! I told you guys it would be a nice touch!”

“Yes,” Pearl chuckled. “It certainly does pull the whole thing together, doesn’t it?”

“Ha! You think that’s a ‘robot’?” Peridot’s loud taunt sounded all the way from inside the barn as the ground began to rumble with uproarious footsteps. “Pathetic. Now… behold! My vision of ultimate power!”

With a thunderous crash, Peridot and McGucket’s bot stormed out of the barn, instantly showing just how much more bulky and sturdy it was. Its overall color scheme, dictated by Peridot, was green, and its appendages were stout yet strong, with massive pinching claws and a sharply pointed cockpit where the pair sat side-by-side to control it. Both the hillbilly and the green Gem let out their own rowdy, wild gales of laughter as they paraded their hulking machine around freely.

“Now this is what I call a robut!” McGucket proclaimed proudly as he leaned out of the cockpit a bit. “What do ya’ll think about our lil’… whazzit?”

“Hey!” Peridot shouted, equally as baffled as she realized just how much Pearl and Ford’s bot towered over their own.

“Ours is taller!” Pearl quickly exclaimed, raising the robot’s hand. “We win!”

“Ladies and gentle-Gems!” Steven announced, stepping up onto a small box beside the chalkboard where a scoreboard was already set up for the oncoming contest. “Welcome to the first annual Robolymics!”

“Woo!” Amethyst cheered as her, Garnet, and Stan sat along on the sidelines to watch the competition unfold.

“Psst, Garnet,” Stan whispered over to the Gem leader. “You wanna place a bet on which one of these nerd teams is gonna take home the prize? The smart money’s on the munchkin and the hillbilly over there.”

“Hmph,” Garnet smirked, adjusting her shades before shaking the conman’s hand. “You’re on.”

“This competition will test our robo-engineers’ skills of robo-construction and robo-piloting,” Steven continued on in explaining the rules.

“There are several rounds you all will have to go through,” Dipper added. “And whoever wins the most of them gets to be in charge of building the drill. Understood?”

All four of the competitors nodded firmly, even if they were more focused on seizing up the competition rather than really listening to the rules. “Great!” Mabel exclaimed, holding up a checkered flag before throwing it down dramatically. “Then let the robo-games begin!”

And with that, the competition kicked off without any further delay. The kids made sure to spell out the rules of each successive round to the teams, each of which was conceived to prove which group was better at designing and building the more functional machine. The first several rounds were largely standard fare, testing various aspects of the robots including balance, jumping capabilities, weapon capacity, speed, and strength. However, in order to fully prove which robot was better and which team was more up to the engineering task, the kids had devised a few non-sequitur categories to see which bot was the more well-rounded of the two. The robots had a chance to test out their artistic sides when it came to the dance and painting categories (the latter of which Amethyst gladly volunteered to be a model for and the result of which ended up being subjective overall). Other rounds were a bit more random, from jumping jacks, to yoga, to tug of war, to a game of ‘robo chess’, yet each game was indeed completely designed to prove who was the best of the best when it came to engineering and inventing. However, by the time just about every category had been decided, it seemed as though the contest overall would be destined to end in a tie, even up to the final, supposedly deciding category.

“Alright, everyone, this is the final event!” Steven announced, still stationed beside the chalkboard with the twins as the robots approached the pair of trucks there were supposed to toss to test their strength even further.

“You got this, P!” Amethyst cheered, shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“Get it, girl!” Garnet added just as supportively.

“Uh, y-yeah, but try not to win too much out there, ya nerds!” Stan taunted, remembering the bet he had made with Garnet.

“Ok, ready…. Set… CHUCK!” Steven shouted, and on that command, both teams’ bots tossed their respective trucks forward as hard as they possibly could. The vehicles sailed swiftly through the air, soaring high and far before they both disappeared over the mountain ridge countless miles away. All of the spectators were aptly stunned by such a powerful, incredible display, even if it really gave them no indication as two who might have won this final challenge.

“Um… well, looks like you both get a point on that one!” Mabel decided, marking a tally down on the chalkboard for both teams.

“Hm,,,,” Steven mused, looking over the final results as both teams waited eagerly to hear the outcome. “Well, it looks like our final score is… a tie! That settles it; everyone gets to lead the project together!”

“Aw, man, well that’s anticlimactic…” Amethyst pouted, leaning back on her seat.

“Yeah, it is!” Stan grumbled. “If the stupid contest ends in a tie, then who wins the bet?”

“Just wait,” Garnet advised, nodding back to the bots themselves.

“NO!” Peridot suddenly shouted, enraged by these unsatisfactory results. “This isn’t over! I demand that we have a tiebreaker!”

“Y-yes, so do I!” Ford exclaimed quite suddenly.

“What?” Pearl asked, completely baffled by her partner’s impulsiveness. “Ford, why-”

“We need to have a definitive winner here!” the author quickly cut her off before glaring down at McGucket in particular. “We need to decide who’s right and who’s wrong…”

“Aw, conswarnit, Ford!” McGucket snapped in apt frustration. “It’s a dog-gone tie! Just let it go already!”

“Oh of course you would tell me to simply ‘let it go’, Fiddleford,” Ford scoffed coldly. “Just like how you let go of all your own memories just because you couldn’t find a better way to cope with them!”

“But I got ‘em back, ya stubborn ol’ fool!” McGucket countered every bit as harshly. “And I’m tryin’ to move on, which is what you oughta be doin’ instead of clingin’ onto the past just cause ya think there’s somethin’ back in it that’ll prove you didn’t build a machine that could’ve destroyed the world even though that’s exactly what ya diddly darn did.”

“Ugh, enough of this!” Pearl interupted sternly, tired of being stuck in the middle of this constant conflict. “Let’s all just give it a rest already! We don’t need any other final competition to decide anything. This is it, we tied. We’re the same, we’re all equals here. Let’s finally just move on already.”

“No!” Peridot cut in fiercely, gripping her robot’s controls tightly. The bot lurched forward and before McGucket could even make a move to counter the green Gem, its claws latched onto one of the other robot’s tall legs tightly, holding it in place. “You’re just a Pearl and a human! You both are beneath me! I’ll always be better than you, and nothing I’ve seen today will ever change that!”

“Oh, for crying out loud, not this again…” Ford groaned, exasperated.

“Well, have you ever seen a Pearl do this?!” Pearl exclaimed, suddenly taking full control of the bot as she swung it’s leg around to kick the other robot back hard. Peridot and McGucket’s bot landed hard and flat on its back as the others all gasped in shock, all of them quite intrigued and somewhat alarmed by the rather violent twist this contest had taken.

“Ohoh, so you wanna fight, huh?” Peridot asked challengingly as McGucket maneuvered the robot back up. “Good! We should have done this from the beginning!”

At this, their robot slammed into the taller bot, tackling it with an immense amount of force. Pearl and Ford managed to hold their own as they pressed it back, neither side making much edgeway as they struggled against each other.

“Whoa, looks like things just got a heck of a whole lot more interesting!” Stan grinned, perking up in his seat as he watched all of the action unfold.

“STOP!” Steven cried fretfully as Ford and Pearl’s bot landed a brutal punch on Peridot and McGucket’s. “Giant robots shouldn’t fight!”

“Yeah! Not unless its in some sort of cool action movie or cartoon or something!” Mabel added just as worriedly.

“Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan and Amethyst cheered in delighted encouragement, thoroughly invested in the ongoing battle. Of course, their cheers soon stopped as Peridot and McGucket’s bot suddenly hoisted Ford and Pearl’s up and tossed it towards the spectating crowd, forcing them all to scatter away from the brutal crash landing.

“Pearl!” Steven cried upon spotting the damage done to the bot and the pair within it.

“Great Uncle Ford!” Dipper exclaimed, also quite alarmed.

“It’s alright, everyone!” Pearl assured as they pulled the robot back up. “We’ve got this!”

“Be careful!” Mabel urged fretfully.

“Kick ‘em in the butt!” Amethyst quipped daringly.

“O-or ya know, don’t do that!” Stan countered. “Especially since I’ve got good money on the line here…”

The moment Pearl and Ford’s bot was back on its feet, Peridot and McGucket wasted no time slamming their robot’s claws into it once more. Several more brutal blows were passed back and forth between the two bots, sustaining damage to both, but taking neither of them down in the process. Needless to say that tensions were high between both teams, especially as they locked hands once more, though it was clear that the brute strength of Peridot and McGucket’s bot was starting to win out against Pearl and Ford’s much more lanky, feeble one.

“Stanford, this is a bunch of cockamamie nonsense and ya know it is!” McGucket exclaimed over the din of battle. “Why can’t ya just admit that you were wrong and be done with it!?”

“Because I’m not wrong!” Ford argued, pushing the robot’s controls harder. “At least not anymore! I already told you, I fixed my mistakes! I’m still fixing my mistakes and I’m not going to stop until I’ve fixed them all!”

“Well, then I reckon, you’ll likely never stop then,” McGucket said with a bitter, hurt scowl. “Cause there’s still one mistake of yours that you ain’t even started tryin’ to fix yet!”

“W-what are you-” Before Ford could even finish, McGucket pushed hard against the controls of his and Peridot’s bot out of sheer anger alone, shoving Pearl and Ford’s back hard. In the back seat of the cockpit as he was, Ford in particular reeled back, his loose grip on the controls costing him as he ended up falling backwards out of his seat entirely.

“Stanford!” both Pearl and McGucket gasped in sudden alarm as the author fell out of the rather tall bot towards the ground below. Unfortunately, the white Gem wasn’t quick enough to maneuver her bot to catch him in time, and as a result, Ford landed hard, the blow easily sending him into a daze and greatly startling just about everyone present. Though, surprisingly enough, the one who seemed the most fearfully concerned was none other than McGucket himself.

“Ford!” the inventor cried, not even hesitating to leap out of the robot, leaving Peridot to control it alone and all but abandoning the battle entirely to rush over to the fallen author’s side. Still, the green Gem was hardly upset by this as she instead gained full control over the robot, ripping Pearl’s attention away from Ford as the robot’s clawed hands landed a brutal punch against hers.

“Good,” Peridot sneered challengingly. “I’m glad we finally got those pesky humans out of the way. This is between you and me anyway, you Pearl!”

Before Pearl could even say anything, the green Gem shoved her back again, keeping her from seeing if Ford was alright or not. Fortunately, McGucket was already on that case as he ran over to Ford and wasted no time in checking him over for any sort of serious injuries. “S-Stanford!” the hillbilly exclaimed, his tone rife with concern. “Ford, a-are you alright? W-wake up! Say somethin’ to me!”

Fortunately, the author wasn’t out of it for too long as he let out a small groan at this, placing a hand against the side of his head as he slowly opened his eyes to meet the hillbilly’s worried gaze. “Mm? F-Fiddleford?” Ford asked in rather bleary confusion as he struggled to sit up on his own. “W-what are you doing? What about the robots… and the contest? I thought you-”

“Aw, forget about that silly ol’ contest,” McGucket shook his head. “I needed to come over ‘n make sure ya didn’t knock that big ol’ genius brain of yours too hard after I… ya know, knocked ya outta your robut and all…”

“W-what…?” Ford frowned, still bewildered, especially as McGucket offered a hand to help steady him. “I… I don’t understand. You only teamed up with Peridot b-because… because of what I…” The author paused, trying his hardest to collect his thoughts and how he wanted to say them, only to fail completely. “I… I just… I didn’t think you still-”

“Cared?” McGucket finished with a small, but knowing smile. “Aw, hornswaggle, Stanford. I may have forgotten ya for almost 30 years, but deep down in my gut, I don’t think I could have ever stopped carin’ about ya.”

For a moment, Ford simply stared at his old partner in complete and utter baffled silence, unsure of how to even react to such a warm, kind sentiment after just how much he had wronged McGucket in the past. So, instead of saying anything, he simply let out a small chuckle of acceptance as he finally accepted the hillbilly’s hand to help him up and lead him to somewhere safer away from the bot battle still raging on behind them just as violently as ever.

“This is pointless!” Peridot shouted as she pressed her bot roughly against Pearl’s once more. “There’s no way you’re gonna beat me! You’re an accessory! Somebody’s shiny toy! Where do you get off acting like you’re your own Gem?!” At this the green Gem’s bot finally managed to get the upper hand over the white Gem’s, as its clawed hand completely pride one of the thin arms off of the lankier bot in a single, swift yank. “You’re just a PEARL!”

Pearl winced back at this, this singular reminder of exactly the kind of Gem she was made to be much harsher and more painful than she knew it should have been. The white Gem knew, and she had always known, that her lot, at least according to Homeworld’s standards, was to stand by and serve and little else. Her caste wasn’t meant to think or to act or to do anything for anyone other than whatever Gem they were given to. There had indeed been a time when Pearl herself had been exactly that; just another piece of empty, thoughtless property in Homeworld’s rigid, unfulfilling system. And yet… the Earth, humans, her fellow Crystal Gems, they had all shown her she could be so much more than that. She could go beyond what she was made for, she could be her own person, her own Gem. She could think and feel for herself and she could take pride in who she was and what she did and she had. And so, that’s exactly what she planned on showing.

“That’s right!” Pearl proclaimed, rising up a bit out of her seat as she faced Peridot fiercely. “I am a PEARL!” With that, the white Gem swung her first hard, striking Peridot squarely in the jaw and catching her completely off guard.

“WHOO-HOO!” Amethyst cheered loudly on the sidelines as everyone else gasped in amazement at such boldness on the Pearl’s part.

“Whoa, who knew Pearl could pack a punch like that?” Stan remarked, unable to hide the fact that even he was genuinely impressed with the white Gem.

“I think we did…” Ford remarked, exchanging a small smirk with McGucket as they both silently recalled just how resilient Pearl could be when she needed to be.

As a result of the white Gem’s blow, Peridot’s bot stumbled back a bit, allowing Pearl time to pick hers’ up off the ground to pick the fight right back up where it had left off. “What you’re saying may be true,” the white Gem said as her robot sprang high into the air above Peridot’s before it began coming down in what would certainly be a hard and heavy kick. “But it doesn’t matter! I’m still gonna kick your butt!”

By this point, just about everyone was cheering Pearl on as she came in for what would possibly be her final blow against the green Gem. Or at least it would have been if Peridot’s bot hadn’t managed to catch one of the long legs of Pearl’s bot at the very last second.

“…Uh oh,” the white Gem muttered, though she had no time to break free from the hold. Immediately, Peridot’s robot slammed Pearl’s hard into the ground, repeating the action several times over until she finally plowed the taller robot down hard, more or less completely breaking it beyond repair as its pieces went flying.

“Pearl!” the others all exclaimed in apt concern as they collectively hurried over to check on the fallen white Gem. Despite the harsh, defeating blow she had suffered, Pearl was only mildly stunned by it, even if she did look much worse for wear as she lay against the wrecked remains of her robot.

Peridot hardly paid them any mind however as she leapt out of her robot, her face still bruised from the punch Pearl had landed on her, though her expression was bright with the satisfaction of her triumph. “Victory is mine!” she proclaimed proudly. “Now I’m the one in charge! Praise me! Praise me!”

“Pearl, are you ok?”

“Huh?” Peridot blinked, caught off guard by the fact that the others were all surrounding the white Gem rather than her.

“A-ah yes… I’m alright…” Pearl smiled as she allowed Steven to help her up.

“Yeah, P!” Amethyst exclaimed, giving the white Gem a sudden congratulatory hug. “Aw, that was awesome! You were so hardcore!”

“Oh really?” Pearl chuckled, rubbing her arm with a flustered smile.

“Oh yeah,” Garnet readily agreed.

“Yeah, Pearl, you were the best!” Mabel exclaimed excitedly.

“Seriously, you were,” Dipper added firmly. “And you punching Peridot in the face like that has to be one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.”

“It was indeed a very impressive display,” Ford nodded with a smirk.

“We couldn’tve done it any better ourselves, Miss Pearl,” McGucket said, tipping his hat in respect for the white Gem.

“Eh, it was passable,” Stan shrugged, unconcerned as he leaned over to Garnet. “So uh… you gonna pay up or what, shades? Cause it looks like greenie just won our bet for me.”

“Did she?” Garnet countered, her arms crossed as she smiled somewhat mysteriously.

“Uh… yeah?” the conman frowned, confused. “Pretty sure she did, right?”

“Y-yes, I did win!” Peridot spoke up, frustrated. “So why aren’t any of you listening to me!? I’m the natural leader here! She’s just a common Pearl! A-and those two!” she snapped, pointing at Ford and McGucket. “They’re just simple humans! I’m the one in charge here, not any of them!”

“You’re wrong!” Steven argued readily. “If Pearls are really like you say they are, then Pearl isn’t common at all! She trained herself to fight! She learned how to build things! And she works hard every day to be greater than she already is!”

“And while we’re at it, your pretty much completely wrong when it comes to humans too, especially when it comes to McGucket and Great Uncle Ford,” Dipper said knowingly.

“Yeah! Both of them are like total geniuses!” Mabel agreed earnestly. “They’ve built all sorts of crazy neat stuff like big huge futurey portals or mind-erasing laser guns, and yeah, maybe those things weren’t always used for good reasons, but they’re still pretty amazing on their own and so are the guys who built them!”

“Seriously, how do you not get it by now, Peridot?” Dipper finished as he smiled back towards the white Gem, the author, and the inventor. “There isn’t anything ‘common’ or ‘simple’ about anyone here.”

Needless to say that Peridot was just about completely baffled by such a thought, to the point that, for perhaps the first time ever, she was completely speechless.

“Come on, everyone,” Garnet said, turning towards the nearby wreckage. “Let’s clean this mess up.”

“Yo, Pearl, you should come wrestling with me some time,” Amethyst joked as they all began to walk away.

“Mm… I dunno…” Pearl frowned, rubbing the sore spot on her arm as they began to pick up the scattered robotic wreckage.

“You know, I bet if we combined the sturdy base of the robot you and Peridot built,” Ford began, speaking to McGucket. “With the speed and agility of our robot, then we could certainly build a force to be reckoned with!”

“Now you’re talkin’!” McGucket exclaimed, enthused by the idea.

“B-but I won!” Peridot argued hotly, not moving from her spot. “What about the rules?!”

None of the others so much as even acknowledged the green Gem, save for Garnet, who simply turned towards her and shrugged simply. “Welcome to Earth.”

Peridot was once again stunned into silence at this, the harsh realization hitting her that even though she technically “won”, she really had no victory to claim at all. After all, the possibility that she could have ever been wrong was something the green Gem couldn’t have ever anticipated and yet… her experiences during her brief time on Earth so far had already proved her wrong about more than she could have ever thought possible. So… perhaps, as ludicrous as it might seem, there was a chance she could have been wrong about Pearls and humans alike as well.

Though it took some doing, eventually everyone had managed to gather up all of the scattered pieces of Pearl and Ford’s robot and organize them back in the barn with the rest of the parts they were likely to use for the drill. Despite his best arguments against the Gem leader, Stan never did end up getting his money from his bet with Garnet, though considering the circumstances, he didn’t really mind as much as him and Amethyst were invested in asking Pearl about her defining blow against Peridot, something that still greatly amused them both. By the time the work was all finished however, the conman returned to the shack for the evening, leaving Ford and the twins behind to help the Gems out with the drill in whatever way they could in the following days of its construction. And though McGucket knew he wasn’t really obligated to stay either, he did hang back for a bit before heading back to his home at the dump, supposedly for the sake of analyzing the robot him and Peridot had made for any possible further invention ideas. Ford, however, had a feeling the inventor was sticking around for some other reason, and, picking up on that reason, he decided that now was as good a time as any to speak his piece to his former partner.

“Fiddleford?” the author began as he stepped up beside the hillbilly.

“Yes, Stanford?” McGucket asked with a bit of an amicable smile as he looked up towards his old friend.

It was a smile that Ford was hard pressed to return as he awkwardly averted the inventor’s gaze, taking in a deep breath as he tried to figure out exactly what it was he wanted to say. “I… um… well, you see I… erm… you know what? Here,” Ford took pause as he reached into his coat and pulled out a small, colorful square, which he handed off to McGucket, who took it with wide eyes of wonder.

“I-is… is this…?”

“Y-yes, that’s right, it’s a Cubic’s Cube,” Ford nodded. “I… remembered how much you used to enjoy working on them years ago, and… I just so happened to find one of your old ones lying around the old lab so… I figured I’d give it back to you as something of a-” The author cut himself off as McGucket presented the cube back to him, all of its scrambled colors perfectly lined up again in almost no time at all. “Well then,” Ford remarked, impressed as he looked over the cube. “Seems as though you really are just as sharp as I remember you being, Fiddleford.”

“Eh, its all that newfangled muscle memory or whatever it is the kids are callin’ it these days,” McGucket shrugged humbly. The pair shared a brief laugh before the author let out something of a small, sad sigh as he looked away from the inventor yet again.

“Fiddleford, I… I should have said this earlier but… I’m sorry,” he finally relented, hanging his head a bit in genuine shame. “I truly am. You were right back then and you’re still right now; I was wrong the entire time and I was far too blinded by my own pride and my dreams of grandure to see that. Honestly, if anything I should have apologized to you 30 years ago. Maybe if I had it would have spared you from… well, you know…”

“Aw, shucks,” McGucket shook his head. “Y’know, Stanford, I thought all I wanted to hear outta ya was an apology, but now that I’m actually getting’ it, I can’t help but feel as though you were actually right.”

“A-about what?”

“About how I up and did all this to myself,” the hillbilly said, sighing himself this time. “You weren’t the one who made me erase all my memories, I did that all on my own. I’ve spent so long forgettin’… Maybe I should try forgivin’ instead… C’mere, old friend.” With this, McGucket opened his arms out wide to offer the author a hug, and though Ford wasn’t often physical when it came to showing affection, it was an offer he couldn’t possibly turn down.

“Hm,” Ford grinned as their hug disbanded a moment later and their sights turned back to the robot before them. “You know, despite everything, this machine really is quite impressive… It’s sort of embarrassing to admit this, but… it looks like your engineering skills still far surpass mine. Which is why I’d be honored if you’d help the Gems, the kids, and me out with the drill. We’ll need someone adept at the craft as you to help us make sure the job’s done right.”

“Well, golly, Stanford,” McGucket smirked knowingly. “I think I’d be downright honored to work with ya’ll again, especially on somethin’ like this that’s gonna help people instead of hurtin’ ‘em for a change.”

“So it’s a deal then?” Ford grinned, holding out his hand to his former, now-returned partner.

“It’s a deal,” McGucket gladly agreed, shaking the author’s hand to solidify his desire to help.

As this touching exchange went on, Pearl couldn’t help but smile softly to herself as she watched it from afar. In truth, she had always enjoyed building and inventing alongside both Ford and McGucket back in the day, and the thought of getting the change to do so again brought genuine excitement and delight to the white Gem. But even more than that, she was glad to see that peace had finally returned between the author and the inventor, and with that peace came the chance to let go of the painful memories of the past and creature better, happier memories in the future.

“Ahem,” Pearl’s train of thought was interupted, surprisingly enough, by none other than Peridot. The green Gem had come to stand alongside her, an upside down drill in hand as she averted the taller Gem’s gaze sheepishly. “I-I have to admit, its… remarkable that a Pearl such as yourself could become such a… knowledgeable technician. Mm…” Peridot hesitated, still clearly swallowing her pride as she presented the white Gem the drill she was holding. “Why don’t we get started?”

Pearl couldn’t help but smile in slight amusement as she knelt down and took the drill from Peridot and turned it around. “You’re holding it upside down,” she informed before handing the tool back to the green Gem.

“Y-yes, of course,” Peridot remarked, flustered. “You know… those round appendages on your machine could be useful for something.”

“They’re called wheels,” Pearl said, still smirking. With this, the white Gem stood and led Peridot over to Ford and McGucket so the four of them could begin planning out their ideas for the drill together. Though the green Gem was still somewhat uncertain about the thought of working with a Pearl and a pair of humans, she decided that it was something she was just going to have to get used to for the sake of the greater good. After all, just about everything on Earth was strange to her, so how was the prospect of working with unlikely allies such as these any stranger than anything else she had already seen thus far?

As the four technicians met up and began throwing drill ideas back and forth, they were all largely unaware of the kids watching them from afar at their spot near the barn. Needless to say that all three of them were more than glad to see that peace and acceptance had won the day, even despite how intense the preceding bot battle had been. “Well, you guys,” Steven began, offering a smile to Dipper and Mabel. “It looks like we’re well on our way to stopping the Cluster.”

“Its about time too,” Dipper said with a bit of a grin as he crossed his arms. “The sooner we stop the Earth from literally imploding from the inside out, the better. And who knows? With Pearl, and Ford, and McGucket all working together, maybe building this whole drill thing could be kinda fun.”

“‘Grrrr, fun for me you mean!’” Mabel roared playfully, taking on a gruff tone as she held the Cluster sock puppet up.

“Oh no!” Steven cried in faux dramatics. “It’s the Cluster!”

Mabel kept playing along as she growled once more, this time pouncing on both boys and easily knocking them both to the ground, all three of them laughing all the while. “‘You think you can stop meeeee?!’” she taunted, more or less tickling both Steven and Dipper with the puppet by this point as a way of ‘attacking’ them.

“Aw, c-come on, Mabel!” Dipper laughed, struggling to get away. “Cut it out!”

Mabel simply roared through the puppet once more as the impromptu game continued, though needless to say all three of the kids were having a great time through it. “Ah! We’re doomed!” Steven chuckled breathlessly, even though they really weren’t.

And yet… if they failed to finish the drill and truly stop the Cluster on time, then there was no telling just how true that statement just might turn out to be.

Next: 

[huntypastellance]

That "Allura is more mature than Keith" post isn't even by a Shallura shipper, they don't even post about the ship. Also, Kimberly Brooks literally said in an interview that Allura is closest to Shiro in maturity. So yeah, she's more mature than Keith. Deal with it.

Man, that anon was lying then? That would explain why I couldn’t find the post……I thought I was just too late & it already got deleted or something.

I’ll apologize for jumping the gun too quickly on that post then, but I will fight you on that statement of Allura being closest to Shiro in maturity.

First of all: Kimberly is a VA. She’s not one of the show’s writers or EPs. Josh Keaton has said that Shiro’s favorite food is mac n cheese but that is total fanon. Kimberly’s statement also counts. (If you want to take that further, Jeremy said that Altean Lance sounded like an awesome idea. Altean Lance is literally the worst fucking thing ever so he is VERY clearly wrong on that part.)

Speaking of the writers/EPs, they said that she’s a great diplomat, but literally the first thing she does when encountering humans is to insult them to their face. And then she never apologizes for it even as she’s asking for their help to fight an entire war against an evil Empire that has genocided entire races.

(Yes, they become friends later, but still - terrible diplomacy.)

Hell, we never even see her engage in actual diplomacy, she doesn’t ever debate with people, she just gives rousing speeches about how great Voltron is & the Coalition & Peace & “Fight the Galra!”. Rarely do we ever see her consider other people’s views, come into conflict with them or even LEARN anything from them. (I am not touching the anti-Galra stuff because that’s a touchy topic).

Other things that the show has said & yet contradict what we see in canon:

“Alteans are amazing diplomats!”

>Coran calls Pidge primitive despite her literally being able to access Altean tech & interface with ease & them relying on the new human Paladins for help.

>All their cuisine seems to amount to just green goo despite diplomats having a wide variety of foods since they go to so many places & experience so many cultures. (There’s even a still from s3 of Alfor looking at some exotic fruit/vegetables - apparently his diplomatic travels to the planets/systems of the other Paladins had ZERO impact on him.)

^This is more of a nitpick so you can dismiss it if you want.

“Alfor was a great man!”

>He kept Oriande a secret for no reason (it has a magical guardian that can absolutely annihilate Voltron AND the Castleship in just one massive beam move & has magical trials that can weed out the unworthy immediately) from all of Altea & it’s even worse when you realize that he didn’t even tell Allura about it despite wanting her to survive & thrive in the future as he was basically going on a suicide mission to fight Zarkon one on one OUTSIDE HIS FREAKING LION.

>Seriously, he didn’t even tell Coran about it! The secrets of Altean alchemy would have been completely gone if Lotor & Haggar weren’t such obsessive nerds about it (& Lotor didn’t even exist yet or was probably a zombie fetus who knows???)

>If he’s such a peaceful king, why was his first idea to build a massive superweapon to fight the rift creature? There were probably peaceful ways to neutralize it, contain it, communicate with it or SOMETHING. The Alteans left the Weblum alone & that thing eats planets & lazers ships to death. Hell, they even actively sent people there to harvest stuff from inside of it despite Coran saying that it was an incredibly dangerous task & a ton of unskilled pilots or even skilled pilots probably DIED while doing so.

>If he’s such a great king, why did he spend all his time going around the universe fighting what looked to be like random pirates or bandits? He’s a king, he can make laws to crack down on piracy or send in the Royal Altean Police Force or something.

“The universe needs Voltron. Voltron’s a legend. Voltron is a symbol of peace.” x1000

>The first generation of Paladins literally put Voltron on hiatus for YEARS because Alfor & Zarkon suddenly weren’t friends anymore. Apparently the universe didn’t need Voltron at all.

>Also, what did they even use Voltron for after they took out the Rift Creature? They never mention any wars or anything, it looked like they were just fighting off random pirates again. Voltron is so unnecessary. (Especially since again: the Paladins are all LEADERS of their entire races/systems/planets. They aren’t powerless.)

^By the way, them being already in sync, long-time friends & comrades on the battlefield opens up a pretty big plothole about all the Paladin trials that Coran said were to boost the trust & to train the trust between Paladins (seriously, electrocuting a king & making them completely open their mind to others via Altean tech would NEVER fly no matter how strong their friendship is).

^^I say that this is a big plothole because every time Pidge uses stealth mode, that is basically going “REMEMBER THE INVISIBLE PALADIN MAZE??? IMAGINE ZARKON ELECTROCUTING BLAYTZ FOR SHITS & GIGGLES”.

”I’m a terrible alchemist, my father had a rare gift that even Honerva didn’t have.”

>Wow, that’s weird, we’ve never seen Allura do ANY alchemy in the show. She’s never even mentioned that she had an interest in it or that she even WAS one. And until s5, Alfor wasn’t implied to be extra special besides being a Sacred Altean & the chosen Red Paladin. Plus, there were even other Alteans working with him in the screenshot of the construction of the Lions. What, were they only there to fill in the space?

Look, yes the cast & even canon itself says things like that, but again: does it really count if the canon itself contradicts it?

If you claim that your OC is super smart, but you constantly write them as making stupid mistakes & generally acting really dumb, then no. They’re NOT smart!

[azvolrien]

Return to the Forest

I was pleased with how this picture turned out, so I felt like writing out the story to go with it; I already had a general idea of what was going on, but wanted to go over it in a little more detail, expanding it in both directions from the moment in the picture.

Also entitled ‘In Which I Am Incredibly Mean To Poor Fayn’.

~~~

           The wolf curled up where she lay, carefully licking clean the little red pup nestled against her belly. The pup gave a whimper and huddled closer against her mother’s warm white fur.

           “Is that entirely hygienic, cariad? We do have a bath for her.”

           Fayn lifted her head, ears swivelling towards the voice. Wygar closed his book, set it down on the bedside table, and raised both hands. “I don’t doubt your maternal instincts,” he said. “I just think a mild soap and warm water might be more effective than your spit.”

           Fayn stretched out her forelegs, yawned, and let the white fur shrink away as she shifted smoothly from wolf form to human. Una shifted as she did, transforming from wolf pup to human baby, and whimpered again at suddenly finding herself in a much less capable body. She rolled onto her back and waved a tiny fist to express her displeasure. Fayn quickly pulled on a loose shift and tickled Una’s belly; Una squirmed and gurgled on the bedspread, distracted away from tears and grabbing at Fayn’s hand instead.

           “Pass me a fresh nappy, will you?” asked Fayn. Wygar handed her a clean cloth and a safety pin. Una did her level best to stuff her own foot in her mouth while Fayn pinned the cloth in place around her. “There we go. That’s better, isn’t it?”

           Una didn’t look certain she agreed with this.

           “When do you suppose she’ll start shapeshifting by herself?” asked Wygar. “Rather than just when you do.”

           Fayn lay down on her front next to Una and propped her chin on one hand. Una patted thoughtfully at her elbow. “I have no idea,” she said quietly. “She’s the first Falkari baby I’ve had much to do with, and it’s not in any of the books I found. I tried asking Halleth and Starfeather, but they couldn’t remember being told that sort of thing when they visited the forest.” She brushed the fingertips of one hand very gently through Una’s hair and over the point of one little ear. An odd, faraway look came onto her face.

           “What are you thinking?” asked Wygar.

           “I… Never mind. Just a stupid idea I had the other day.”

           Wygar lay down on Una’s other side and stroked her palm with one finger, smiling as she closed her hand around it. “No, go on.”

           “I…” Fayn sighed and bowed her head. “I want to hold a Falkari naming ceremony for her. To, to properly welcome her into the tribe. And I know, I know the tribe is, well, just me, but… I don’t want these things to just be forgotten. You know?”

           “I think I do.”

           Fayn turned onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. “In truth, I don’t know if they would even have accepted her with an elhu father, but… Well, there isn’t anyone left to tell me no, is there?”

           “‘Elhu’?”

           “Hm? Oh, something like ‘outsider’, ‘not Falkari’. ‘Others’, literally.”

           “Oh.” Wygar freed his finger from Una’s grasp and picked her up to cradle against his chest. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt instead, wriggled comfortably, and went to sleep. “Half-elhu or not, she has your abilities,” he said, almost in a whisper. “That would have to be a point in her favour, wouldn’t it?” Very carefully, he set her down in her cradle beside the bed and tucked her blanket in over her, then lay back beside Fayn and folded his hands behind his head. “It’s not a stupid idea – though all I know about Falkari naming ceremonies is that that priest wouldn’t do one for you. What does it involve?”

           Fayn laced her fingers over her belly. “My sister explained it to me. She wasn’t supposed to – Sethuk didn’t want me to know – but she always answered my questions, whatever I asked. And I read up a little, as well. The ceremony was never a secret, you see – not something elhu were forbidden to know about, so it comes up in a few books.” She lifted one hand and ran her fingertips over her cheekbones. “The family would travel to the nearest temple village, if it wasn’t too far away, and marks would be painted on the child’s face with earth pigment to help the Voice of the Forest recognise them. Then the priest would speak the new child’s name, introducing them to the Forest and welcoming them as one of the Falkari. It didn’t have to be a priest – in villages too far from the nearest temple, a hunt leader might do it instead – but it always was in a temple village.”

           “That seems straightforward enough,” said Wygar slowly. “So… We would have to go back to the Darkwald?”

           Fayn nodded. “Halleth pointed me towards a map he sketched out on his journeying year. The nearest is the…” She trailed off and bit her lip. Wygar propped himself up on his elbows to look down at her face. “…Is the Greenstone Temple Village.”

           “Greenstone…” said Wygar, frowning. “Why does that ring a bell?”

           Fayn did not answer immediately. Her eyes lost their focus as she continued to gaze at the ceiling. After more than a minute of silence, she spoke. “It’s where I was born. It’s my village. Where my naming ceremony would have been, if I’d been given a proper one.” She paused for another few seconds. “I haven’t been back for… for a very long time. But there are some things you don’t forget.”

            “Are you sure you want to go back there?” asked Wygar gently.

           She sighed and covered her eyes with one hand. “No, I’m not sure. But it’s not really a matter of wanting to. I don’t know how to explain it.”

           Wygar settled back down and twined his fingers with hers. “I’m not going to tell you yes or no,” he said. “This isn’t my decision to make. But if it’s important to you, I’ll help however I can.”

           “Thank you.”

           “I suppose we’ll need to find another tent,” said Wygar. “We never did get a new one after our little adventure in the Northern Forest.”

           Fayn laughed softly. “I’ll show you how to build a shelter,” she said with a small grin. “That’s one skill I perfected over the years.”

           They set out early on a clear, chilly autumn day, some four months after Una’s birth. Una, warmly bundled up in her tiger sleepsuit, watched the streets pass by from the sling tied across Wygar’s chest. Wygar steadied her with one hand, holding onto the reins with the other.

           Seated behind them on Rathus’s back, Fayn wrapped both arms around Wygar’s waist and propped her chin on his shoulder. “How long do you think it’ll take us to get there?” she asked.

           “Not sure,” said Wygar. “At a full gallop, Rathus could make it to the Harbinger Gate in three, maybe four hours…” Una cooed with great interest as a couple of City Watch patrollers passed by; Wygar smiled and kissed the top of her head. “…But I’d rather not risk a full gallop while carrying Una as well, so it could take us a while to get that far. Still, I wouldn’t think we’ll be away from Stormhaven for much longer than a week. Probably less.”

           Fayn nodded and said nothing, though she held onto his waist a little tighter.

           Wygar glanced sideways at her and turned his head a little to touch one cheek against her hair. “We don’t have to stay one second longer than you want to,” he said. “You know that, right?”

           Fayn just nodded again. Wygar sighed, briefly laid one hand on her forearm, and turned his eyes to the road.

           They set a leisurely pace across the countryside. There was almost no traffic on the main road east, but even so Rathus never moved above a steady canter. The town of Aldwyn’s Crossing, roughly halfway between the city and the hills, made a good place to stop for lunch with its multitude of inns, but they didn’t pause for long and dusk saw them climbing the twisting, crag-lined road through the Chainbreaker Hills. They stopped for the night in a small, sheltered campsite off the road and moved off again at first light, arriving at the Harbinger Gate early enough that there was barely a queue to cross the border.

           Wygar pulled back on the reins, halting Rathus at the side of the road. The paving stones curved away to their right, following a series of hairpin bends down the steep slope east of the Gate. At its foot, open, scrubby moorland rolled away for a few miles, until a deep green sea of trees rose up and swept out to cover the horizon.

           Fayn swallowed hard and took a very deep, slow breath. “We were only here last winter,” she said, “travelling to the Emperor’s coronation… but it feels like much longer.”

           “I suppose it doesn’t really count if you’re just passing through,” said Wygar as Una slept peacefully in her sling, clutching a handful of his shirt. He nudged Rathus in the ribs and rejoined the road down to the moors.

           They kept going, down over the moors and into the trees. Lights glimmered by the roadside, both candles in lanterns and witchlights in fixed holders, casting the trees beyond into deeper shadow. Fayn gazed silently into the darkness between the trees as Rathus kept walking, and only stirred from her thoughts when Una woke up and started to cry.

           “I’m wondering now,” said Wygar as they stopped to feed Una. Fayn made a half-attentive sound, focussing more on Una. “The tiger stones we saw back in those first few days, the ones you said marked the way to the village.”

           “Yes?”

           “They were right by the road, but it winds a bit as it goes through the forest – would it be quicker to cut through the back trails and go straight there? We wouldn’t have to keep to the speed of the traffic that way.” He waved a hand at the road to illustrate his point. As the day wore on, more and more travellers had joined the stream of traffic, from small groups on foot and horseback to heavy wagons drawn by whole teams of constructs, and the average pace was not fast.

           Una turned her face away; Fayn cleaned away the last few drops of milk and pulled her dress back up to her shoulder before she answered. “The village is a couple of miles in from the road,” she said quietly. “So… yes, it probably would.”

           “Is that… something you’re all right with?”

           Fayn closed her eyes, smiling slightly. “This is where I grew up, remember?” she said, trying for a jovial tone. “I can navigate this forest better than anyone else alive.” She opened her eyes again, staring unseeing into the distance. The smile disappeared.

           Wygar decided not to clarify what he had meant; he had a feeling her response had been chosen quite deliberately. He laid an arm around her shoulders and brushed his lips against her temple. “You’ll have to point out the best path for us to take,” he said. “I doubt I’d even be able to keep going in the right direction.”

           She laughed at that, a little quiet but at least genuine, and got to her feet. “This way.”

           The Darkwald was a long way from the Northern Forest, in much more than just distance. The trees were far larger and immeasurably older; instead of straight-trunked conifers, the ancient, towering broadleaves twisted around where they grew, the branches of each tree tangling with the next to create a canopy so dense that only the smallest flecks of sky could be made out, casting everything into mottled, greenish gloom. The ground, too, was mostly hidden from sight beneath a thick covering of grass and shrubs; bare earth was only visible along the hard-packed, unpaved paths, themselves now roughened and fractured by the growth of roots. Despite that, what struck Wygar most was the complete difference in atmosphere. Perhaps it was the season or the climate, but where the Northern Forest had been eerily silent, the Darkwald teemed with life. Birdsong filled the air beneath the shifting leaves, and it seemed that every few steps some small creature scurried across the path into the shadows of the undergrowth.

           Fayn altered her stance as twenty years in the wild crept back to her. She walked with her weight on her toes, keeping her head down and her shoulders slightly hunched as she placed each foot so carefully that she moved in almost total silence, and turning her head constantly from side to side to pick up on one sound after another even as she carried Una in her arms. Wygar walked behind her, leading Rathus by the reins. Time and again, Fayn froze in the shadows at some small warning, throwing out an arm to halt Wygar in his tracks; the Great Darkwald Road may have made it easier to get from one side of the forest to the other, but the backwoods were anything but tame.

           Once, something huge paced between the tree trunks, twigs splintering under massive hooves as it walked: a great elk, its broad, flat antlers longer across than Wygar was tall.

           Another time, Fayn hissed for them all to scramble up the nearest sturdy tree to wait for a foraging boar – heavily muscled and armed with tusks nearly as long as Fayn’s hand – to lose interest and move on.

           On the first evening in the forest, they accidentally startled a small herd of wild horses, which fled between the trees leaving a trail of trampled vegetation in their wake. The light slowly faded, until finally Fayn called a halt at the foot of a particularly impressive oak.

           “We’ll camp here for tonight,” she said, laying one hand on the immense trunk and peering upwards to check for dead branches. “This was never somewhere to travel in the dark. Come on, I’ll show you how to build a leaf hut.”

           The little shelter was surprisingly cosy once complete. Fayn unfolded Una’s travel cot as Wygar put a few finishing touches to their campsite, walking its perimeter and scratching out marks in the earth with the iron-shod butt of his staff.

           “What are you doing?” asked Fayn as she got Una settled in the shelter. “A ward?”

           He nodded and, after a flash of invisible magic, sat down in the open end of the leaf hut. “I’ve been reading up on them since the Northern Forest,” he explained, rubbing absently at one forearm. “This one doesn’t just protect us from sight and hearing; it works for scent as well, at least mostly, and it’ll actually hold an attacker back, not just make it harder for them to find us.”

           “Wizards. Always studying.”

           He laid his staff down along one wall of the hut and took a packet of travel bread, dried fruit and salted meat from one of Rathus’s saddlebags. “I find I’m less willing to take chances than I once was,” he said, sharing the rations between them.

           “I hear that.”

           Una woke up crying four times during the night – twice to get fed, once to get fed and changed, and once, apparently, just for the sake of it – but they still managed a few hours’ sleep by the time enough light filtered through the leaves to wake them.

           After walking in silence for most of the morning, Fayn spoke. “How long were you here – in the forest – before we met?”

           “Gods, I hardly remember,” said Wygar, adjusting how Una’s carry-sling hung from his shoulder, and with his other hand steadying Una herself as she stretched out an arm for a particularly fascinating leaf. They moved past before she could grab it, prompting a wail of disappointment that soon subsided when she found something more interesting – namely, a lock of Wygar’s hair. “It can’t have been more than a couple of days.” He paused to remove his hair from Una’s mouth and replaced it with her dummy. She frowned for a few seconds before she decided that this was an acceptable substitute and settled against his chest for a nap. “I’d been doing some work in a small town on the River Vena – bandit hunting, if I recall correctly – and cut across to the Darkwald instead of heading straight south to meet the road. To this day I can’t remember why.” He caught Fayn’s eye as she glanced back, and grinned. “But I’m glad that I did.”

           Fayn rolled her eyes, smiling. “So not long enough to really get a feel for the place.”

           “Not remotely, no.”

           She closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply through her nose as she walked. “It’s the scents that really stick in my memory,” she said. “I’ve always had a good sense of smell, even in human form. And with all the problems I have with these,” she waved her fingers towards her eyes, “I tended to rely on it more than sight. There are so many different scents depending on where you are, what the weather’s like, what time of year… You smell that? That sort of warm green smell?”

           Wygar sniffed. “I… think so?”

           “You only really get that in this region of the forest. It’s cooler further north, so everything is a little… sharper, lighter. And further south, it’s a much hotter, drier scent, more of a dusty brown smell.”

           “I’ll have to take your word for that, cariad,” said Wygar, lifting a hand to rub at the old break in the centre of his nose. “My sense of smell has never been much more than ‘adequate’ ever since this happened.”

           “Yeah, how did that happen? Training accident, wasn’t it?”

           “In a manner of speaking, I suppose.” He cast a cautious look back over his shoulder and lowered his voice. “One of Calburn’s little practice constructs headbutted me in the face when I was fifteen. It’s not a story I’m fond of telling, but if I can’t tell you…”

           Fayn began to laugh, and managed to stifle it down to a snigger. “If Una ever asks, I’ll tell her you got it in honourable combat with a rampaging mammoth.”

           “…Thank you, Fayn, that means a lot. You know, I’ve never actually seen a live mammoth. The skeleton in the museum and the elephants in the Torfin Menagerie are the closest I’ve got.”

           “Same,” said Fayn, her voice distracted.

           Wygar leant sideways to see a fork in the path before them. Neither path looked more well-used than the other; both were broken up with roots and overgrown with bracken, the stems snapped here and there by animals. Fayn, however, was not looking between them with confusion; she was staring very intently at the path to the left, digging her fingers into the sides of her skirt until the fabric threatened to tear under her nails.

           “Cariad?”

           Fayn gave her head a rough shake. “This way.” She walked down the left-hand path, her steps a little slower and more halting than before. Wygar tugged lightly on Rathus’s reins and followed her. She didn’t speak again for almost an hour, until she stopped dead near the foot of another oak tree, this one tall and straight with a spreading crown of branches forming a sort of bowl high off the ground. Her eyes, only half-focussed, trailed down the massive trunk to a ring of tumbled stones covered with moss and other greenery. A few spars of rotten, crumbling wood lay atop them. Fayn pressed one hand flat over her mouth and slowly drew it down to her throat, breathing hard, then stumbled forward and brushed aside some of the moss to reveal a broader slab of rock within the ring, now half-covered with the smaller fallen stones.

           “What is this place?” asked Wygar, though he had his suspicions.

           Fayn stepped away from the circle and touched her fingertips against the rough bark of the tall oak. “This is where I lived,” she said, almost too quietly for him to hear. “It was a little stone hut back then. The Forest hasn’t been kind to it.” She looked up at the canopy. “This is the tree that saved me. Where I hid when the soldiers reached the village. Somehow I thought it would look smaller, coming back here, but… No, it’s about as big as I remember.” Fayn closed her eyes and bowed her head, pressing her forehead against the bark.

           “Is this close enough for the ceremony?” asked Wygar after leaving her to her reveries for another few seconds.

           Fayn lifted her head. “No. We need to find the temple. Or what’s left of it… The village was this way.” She pointed towards another long-overgrown path and began to follow it.

           The light began to change, growing steadily brighter; the canopy up ahead was thinning out around a clearing. The path ahead was blocked by what had once been a carved standing stone, but was now lying on its side and as covered with moss as the remains of Fayn’s hut.

           Fayn stopped so suddenly that Wygar walked into her, every inch of her body tense to the point of trembling. Her breath quickened and shook, her eyes fixed on the toppled stone.

           No, not the stone itself. The bones around and beneath it, scattered over the years by scavenging animals but still stark and pale against the forest floor. Fayn slowly sank to her knees, staring at the skull half-buried in the loam. It was definitely some kind of predator, but Wygar couldn’t identify it further; it appeared to be some odd hybrid of a bear and a big cat.

           Fayn slumped forwards, pressing one hand flat against the earth and digging the fingers of the other painfully into her face. Beads of sweat stood out on her skin as her pulse began to race, visible in the strain beneath her jaw. “It wasn’t my fault,” she choked out, no more than a whisper. “It wasn’t, it wasn’t…”

           “Fayn!” Wygar knelt beside her and laid a hand flat on her back, pressing lightly between her hunched shoulders.

           “I c- I can still hear them,” she gasped, lifting her other hand to claw roughly at her scalp. A few droplets of blood seeped from under her nails, horribly red against her white hair. “I can still hear them screaming…”

           Wygar caught hold of her wrists and gently, firmly prised her mauling hands away from her head. “Look at me,” he murmured. Still shaking, she raised her head to meet his eyes. Her own were so bloodshot that the whites were almost as pink as her irises, and tears ran down in a ragged stream. “Just… breathe. Block out everything else, and just breathe.” He let go of her wrists and slid his hands up to rest them on her shoulders. Una wriggled in her sling and whined as if picking up on her mother’s mood. “I’ve got you.”

           She clutched his sleeves with both hands, staring at his face as if afraid he would disappear, and forced herself to breathe slowly and deeply. Wygar cupped her jaw in one hand, but did not brush away the tears.

           “I won’t say it’s all right,” he said. “It’s not. What happened here was wrong, and nothing’s going to fix that. But it wasn’t your fault, and you’re not that scared little girl any more.”

           Una’s whine worked up to a full-voiced cry, jolting Fayn out of her memories. Fayn shook her head and scrubbed one forearm roughly across her face, before lifting Una from the sling and holding her close against her body. Una squalled and grabbed a handful of her dress.

           “Come on, over here,” said Wygar, helping her to her feet and leading her around a tree, away from the bones. She sat down with her back to the trunk and undid one shoulder of her dress. Wygar handed her their canteen and sat beside her, hugging her to his side as she fed Una. “Drink some water.”

           “I’m glad you’re here,” she said once she had taken a few gulps. Her voice was still unsteady and a little hoarse, but the horrified panic had receded. “I-I don’t think I could bear this by myself.”

           “Do you want to turn back?”

           Fayn shook her head again. “We’ve come this far. To stop a hundred feet short seems… Well.” She watched Una in silence for a few seconds. “Those-” Another deep breath. “Those bones back there.”

           “Yes?”

           “They’re… They’re my sister. They’re Una. I remember…” Her breathing began to tremble again.

           “Hey. Stay with me.” Wygar took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

           Fayn gripped his hand hard in reply. “Well… I’m sure you get the idea.” Her sister’s little namesake, full of milk, turned away and burped loudly. Fayn smiled, rearranged her dress, and got shakily to her feet. “We need to find the temple,” she said again. “It won’t be hard; the village isn’t that big.”

           The temple was one of the few buildings still standing. The forest had not yet fully reclaimed the village clearing, but the grass had sprouted almost waist-high and saplings and bushes had grown to create a dense undergrowth between the crumbled remains of the houses, mercifully hiding any more bones from sight. The temple had been built more sturdily: it wasn’t a hollow circle like the huts, but a solid, flat-topped pyramid of stacked slate about ten feet tall. The wooden shelter at the summit had long since collapsed, leaving only a few rotten pieces of wood that still showed signs of elaborate carvings, but there was still a mossy stone altar with a rounded depression filled with smooth reddish mud and rainwater.

           Fayn laid Una down on the altar, took off her sleepsuit, and scooped up a handful of mud from the bowl. Using the tip of one finger, she began to paint the ochre onto Una’s face, drawing marks on her forehead, beneath each eye, and along the curves of her jaw, before she knelt by the altar and softly began to speak in the Falkari language. Una seemed too bewildered by this turn of events to even whimper; she wriggled a little, but lay quietly on the thick cushion of moss covering the flat stone.

           The only words Wygar understood were ‘Una’ and sekh – ‘name’. Feeling an intruder in this Falkari place, he took up a station at the edge of the temple summit and leant on his staff, looking out at the trees. Rathus waited patiently at the foot of the little pyramid as Fayn finished her intonation and just knelt, watching the leaves behind the temple shift in the wind.

           Something caught Wygar’s eye across the clearing. Without looking away from whatever-it-was, he backed away from the edge until he could touch Fayn’s shoulder.

           “I don’t want to interrupt,” he said in a low voice, “but there’s something moving in the trees.”

           Fayn lifted Una into her arms and straightened up, turning around to stand shoulder-to-shoulder – or at least shoulder-to-elbow – with Wygar. Wygar lifted his staff into a defensive stance as the branches moved, casting dappled shadows onto dark, glossy fur. Grass and leaves rustled underfoot, and the creature emerged into the light.

           It stood more than six feet tall at the shoulder, its deep, rich brown fur striped with a pale tawny and fading to a light grey along its underbelly. A pair of six-inch fangs curved down from its upper jaw, but there was no clear aggression in its stance as it skirted the edge of the clearing, watching them with gleaming gold eyes.

           A healthy, fully-grown forest tiger, honoured as the spirit of the Darkwald in physical form, and sacred animal of the Falkari people.

           “Don’t move,” said Fayn. She passed Una to Wygar, quickly stripped off her clothes, and shifted to her own tiger form, pure white and little taller than two feet. The other tiger’s ears flicked forwards and it trotted across the clearing, stopping only a few feet from the base of the pyramid. Wygar held his breath, carrying the puzzled tiger cub that was Una and trying not to wince too hard as her needle-sharp claws sank through his shirt and into his skin.

           The sacred tiger regarded them in silence for almost a minute, its long tail swaying lightly from side to side, before it let out its breath in a friendly chuff and disappeared back into the forest.  

           Wygar allowed himself to relax. Fayn returned to human form and got dressed, then retrieved Una’s sleepsuit from the altar for her. “Thank you,” she whispered. Wygar wasn’t sure if she spoke to him or to the Darkwald, and she did not explain. She was crying again, tears trickling silently down her face, but smiling this time. Holding Una in her arms, she sat down at the top of the steps and closed her eyes to feel the wind on her face. Una settled her head on her shoulder and went to sleep.

           “Fayn?” Wygar sat beside her.

           “She’s been accepted,” said Fayn, stroking Una’s back with one hand. She turned her head to face Wygar; this time, he did reach out to brush away the tears. “Nobody could deny such a clear sign from the Forest.” She looked back out at the remnants of the village. “But there’s nothing here any more,” she continued, half to herself. “Wherever their spirits went, they didn’t stay here. Now there’s just… just memories, and I don’t have enough good ones of this place to take the edge off the pain. Time to leave them in the past where they belong.”

           Wygar considered several things to say in reply to that, and decided against all of them. He wrapped one arm around her waist instead, saying nothing.

           Fayn sighed, brushed a few strands of moss from her dress, and stood up. “Come on,” she said with a small smile, her eyes still a little damp and red. “Let’s go home.”

~~~ Fantasy religions can be a lot of fun to play with, but for this setting I like to maintain ambiguity regarding whether or not the gods are actually real. So are the tigers really the physical manifestations of the spirit of the forest, or are they just unusually clever animals? You decide.

Wygar himself is actually an atheist, but he’s respectful of his wife’s beliefs because they aren’t doing any harm and he’s not a wanker.

[floggingink]

Riverdale, “Chapter Twenty-Five: The Wicked and the Divine”

Jughead has seen more “mob movies” than I have, so I can’t verify his “classic trope,” but he’s speaking my language

I found Archie’s Devil Wears Prada errand-montage zippy and playful, much like Hiram Lodge himself

especially the direction of the construction guy’s arm clapping Archie’s shoulder to add movement to the swerving transition (not a technical term) as he steps into the trailer

Hiram’s soft V-neck sweater is, I assume, cashmere

Veronica’s look is so inseparable from collars and pearls that she has a collar made of pearls sewn into her dress

RAS wanted a Veronica-confirmation episode, so by God, he is getting one, and Veronica’s age be damned! Hiram and Hermione wanted “the same monsignor” from Veronica’s baptism, who I guess has been on leave at the Vatican for five years okay!

Archie wants to know if Veronica will have “to memorize stuff”

Veronica’s confirmation sponsor is her grandmother, which is par for the course, as is volunteering at a soup kitchen for her like 8 hours of required community service. I also had to write a report on Saint Lucy and pray a rosary in front of an abortion clinic. Veronica probably won’t have to do that, since you can’t say abortion on Riverdale

do soup kitchens have any actual paid employees, or are they all stocked with kids who just need volunteer hours/Matthew Goode’s character from The Good Wife in his spare time wearing that blue sweatshirt to characterize him as being “just that nice”?

Hiram is such a fucking soap opera star when he says Veronica has made him “the happiest father ALIVE.” like, alive?

“ISN’T SHE A MIRACLE?”

on FP’s kitchen table is the same kind of half-gallon of milk that Jughead was drinking from the morning after his birthday party. the Andrewses kept a spare half-gallon of skim milk just for Jughead in their fridge? the nicest thing Fred ever did for him

Jughead doubts it: Jughead is VERY sassy with Sheriff Keller and FP loves it!!!! because Jughead can have an anti-authoritarian ’tude WITHOUT NECESSARILY being “a gang member” at that particular moment!

FP is so crisp and put together! FP looks GREAT! what up though, Gladys?

wow I can’t believe Jughead’s article wielded so much political power that its legal ramifications echo throughout the entire episode, as if Jughead were Nellie Bly

“CAN I GET A QUOTE?” this is the Jughead that FP plainly adores

Jughead and Betty both drink skim milk, so, their wedding will be soon

are men on webcams actually fool enough to ask the webcam girls if they can MEET IN REAL LIFE? I have no knowledge about this world, but I would imagine the answer would be “Have you ever seen a film, ever?”

50 Shades of Betty: Betty looks pretty great in that severe black fucking wig and I still want an apology from Chuck specifically about dissing the wig

“Catholic chic” means veils optional, like the stole in black tie

What damn high school in America: Jughead doesn’t have to wear the preppy Lodge uniform, I see? shame

Best costume bit: Betty’s heart sweater is possibly my favorite thing she’s ever worn. I want it BADLY

ARE YOU TELLING ME HIRAM LODGE WANTS TO SUE A HIGH SCHOOL NEWSPAPER?

“DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER”? IS THERE SOMETHING HE WROTE THAT WASN’T TRUE? ARE YOU ~NOT~ BUILDING BOWLING ALLEYS ON NATIVE AMERICAN LAND? I will fucking suit up and be Jughead’s lawyer on this. as has been demonstrated, I have seen every episode of The Good Wife and can probably practice law in Illinois (for instance I know that in Illinois you only need one-person consent to secretly record a conversation)

I love Betty and Jughead being in the same room, of course, but Betty’s gentle, poking “And...did you?” is EXCEPTIONALLY cute. Betty is so cute. and sometimes scary

Jughead’s least clueless moment of the season so far is him looking back knowingly at Betty when she says maybe he would do it to “avenge Toni’s grandfather”

“WE’RE PALS.”

Jughead kind of looks great leaning against the window. like the lighting or something. God, please let me one day see the two of them making out with Betty in her cheerleading uniform

okay, I thought Betty and Jughead, IT WAS IMPLIED, had already had sex, because I was shown them waking up together after they had slept together in the trailer. apparently they LITERALLY slept together. APPARENTLY THEY HAVE NOT HAD SEX YET. I should have known, from the sleeper biceps, that Jughead was still pining IN THIS WAY, FOR THAT! I should have KNOWN Betty had not RIDDEN JUGHEAD INTO THE SUNSET YET. fuck! what am I doing!

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: I also emotionally defend Betty’s ecru lie about not having “done anything” with anyone since the breakup since, as one will recall, immediately after her and Archie’s kiss they stared in horror at each other and have not talked about it since, thus cancelling it out as a real kiss (this is also a statute of Illinois law)

Hermione Lodge has some sort of skinny gold Lothlórien belt on over her deep merlot blazer

Archie > Dawson: Archie is sweet when he apologizes for making Pop double-check the order: “It’s more to make sure I get everything right.”

Archie hears Pop’s slip about Hiram being “the boss,” but other things happen and he FORGETS! at what inopportune time will he remember? when he’s physically embracing Jughead Jones?

although couldn’t Pop just play it off like Hiram is Archie’s boss? think on your feet, Pop

for the record I love Agent Adams and his whole deal. his plan is so insane that it might be brilliant. I just do still wish he were being played by either Sterling K. Brown or Max Greenfield

he doesn’t appreciate Archie’s attitude: “Is there a problem?” yeah, uh, Archie’s like twelve years old and not a trained undercover field agent? I love this stupid shit

oh, everyone’s being evicted from Sunnyside? if only Jughead hadn’t driven the southside’s only lawyer out of town with Kenickie Murdoch’s switchblade

OH MY GOD HERMIONE’S PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

according to everyone’s facial expressions, Veronica is under the impression she is doing good political maneuvering inviting the McCoys to her confirmation, Hermione is stunned she did so, Veronica really wanted to sing a solo, and Josie doesn’t know why she has to fucking apologize for anything

Josie being Veronica’s “gift” from Mayor McCoy is horrifying

Sixth period is Intro to Film: Cruel Intentions is a fantastic Catholic standard, containing as it does cocaine, “experimental” girl-on-girl French kissing, Ryan Phillippe’s ass, the line “I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side and sometimes I want to kill myself,” and implied step-sibling fucking, all of which I think Riverdale should include more of

the blue and red lighting inside the Wyrm is still nice. does the Wyrm even count as a dive? strippers probably wouldn’t waste their time at dives

wow there are some true beards in this crowd

okay…..the idea that Tall Boy is a better suspect than Jughead…...because he’s physically taller…..is singularly the most fantastic thing…..I have ever heard…..

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: the sound of Archie shifting on the leather of Hiram’s couch is real good

“I RESPECT A MAN WHO WOULD GO TO SUCH EXTREMES.” HIRAM PLEASE!!!!! ARCHIE IS TOO DUMB FOR THIS!!!!!!

Gay?!: Ben? who the fuck is Ben? who is BEN? who the fuck?

OH MY GOD Jughead got in to see the mayor AGAIN! is Ethel Muggs her secretary???

Jughead interrupted Mayor McCoy eating her salad at her desk

for like the third time in the series she says she’s “always liked” Jughead, which, fat lot of good that’s done him

in Riverdale there is a red uniform at the soup kitchen, because even THE POOR must abide by aesthetics

Archie doesn’t know what cutting cigars means

Archie’s shoulders are nice under that polo

Betty’s plan about “treat it like a missing person’s case” and making it like this snooping Blue and Gold intrigue thing is of course welcome as a pretense for the two of them working together (on the show’s part), but in reality it’s just the fucking bare minimum that THE AUTHORITIES should ALREADY BE FUCKING DOING THEMSELVES

at this point I went to bed and had a very gripping, sexy dream about Veronica and Jughead. Veronica and Jughead

“Damn good coffee”: Hiram floating having to “bring Archie in” on the Lodge Family Tammany Hall is only slightly less absurd than the Federal Bureau of Investigation having already done so. what does Archie need to be brought in on, exactly? he’s just Veronica’s arm candy. he barely knows what a cigar is

while it is STILL ODD that Veronica has done a 180 on her accepting her father’s criminality, she still holds Archie up as a beacon of goodness, because, like I said, shoulders, polos

Jughead’s “order of the Ophidians” as he tapes up the Missing poster is either, so far as I can tell, an extremely obscure MMORPG reference or he’s just calling them snakes, but like, in Latin

Penny didn’t die of gangrene from her blistering wound like on the Oregon trail? probably a plus

FP is in some deep pain here. this is so far beyond his worst fears about Jughead joining the Serpents that he like never even fucking considered—I NEVER FUCKING CONSIDERED IT, IT WAS FUCKING RIDICULOUS

I certainly don’t think Penny’s terms are like, PARTICULARLY OUT OF LINE

ooooh Jughead’s little snipe at his father for fridging Jason!

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH “YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF US,” THE ANGUISHED REALIZATION IN FP’S EYES, GLADYS STAY AWAY!!!!!

I can’t believe the sixth season of The Wire takes place in Riverdale and doesn’t even have Sonja Sohn playing Agent Adams

Alice’s angel wing-white Founding Father blouse and Betty’s textured peach sweater

Hal is REALLY skittish about Chic, considering that HE’S HIS SON, SO FAR AS WE KNOW. but Hal hordes important information until the bitter end, so he probably just knows some shit

The Blossom Whoever the fuck’s spawn: “He’s a stranger. That’s my beef.”

“It’s been ~some time~ since my last confession” is usually the most accurate clocking I could give as well

I love the very dangerous clusters of candles inside the confessional

These students are legally children: NO ONE is helping Veronica. Veronica is trying to “find her thing” like, in the dark, lit by votive candles

I loved the circle of beautiful mob wives drinking wine and talking about how praying to “the Almighty” for “forgiveness” makes them feel better #aspirational

Hiram isn’t fucking around with Mr. Man “disrespecting Pop Tate.” Pop Tate is an angel, doing his best out here in a chaotic world. his poutine is probably great!

Archie’s stuck using the wrong kind of plunger

Poppa Poutine says Hiram lost his “mojo” in “the joint”

is Poppa right? is Hiram weak? if you subtract the Andrews boys, he doesn’t seem to have any problems

The 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Josie is back with killer witchy earrings, a lovely dress, and a fierce hold on the remainder of her personal agency

of course it’s “Bitter Sweet Symphony” but with harps. you know the Verve doesn’t get any royalties from that song? are the Rolling Stones the worst band in the world?

I LIKE THE SWOOSH FROM LARRY OR WHOEVER AND POPPA BACK TO ARCHIE WATCHING THEM

the back of the church is bathed in purple, the altar is yellow, the monsignor is in BRIGHT PALM SUNDAY RED, and this is what church should have always been like

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: Hermione’s strong-shouldered structured white jacket is amazing and Jughead forgoed his hat, to be respectful

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: slightly strangely, Cheryl isn’t there at all this episode, but what we are truly robbed of is seeing what she would have worn to the confirmation

Veronica has a SUPER-SWEET very light pink/purple manicure!

Summer + Blair = Veronica: you better believe when Veronica was asked if she renounced Satan I was like, IS SHE GOING TO LOOK AT HER FATHER AND STORM OUT OF THAT CHURCH????? I THOUGHT SHE MIGHT!!!!!

instead I got an amazing thematic light show about Veronica choosing to believe in Archie’s unflagging internal compass and following his light (“the light of the Lord”!)

HE GIVES HER A TINY HAPPY NOD WHILE SHE’S THINKING, LIKE “YEAH BABE I KNOW YOU RENOUNCE SATAN!!!!!”

Veronica was rich: Veronica does look like a fucking angel up there

wow, Dilton isn’t DJing the afterparty? weird

why are Betty and Archie standing together AT ALL?

Abuelita is 100% right about pinching Archie’s cheek and Archie goes with it because he is respectful

Jughead eats: Jughead is so tormented he neglects the buffet!!!!!!

Jughead’s suit is very nice. I like the progression of his wearing better and better suits

Betty takes the news of Jughead’s CONFESSION that he “cut” Penny pretty stoically, as she did boil a guy once

POOR JUG IS RIGHT, IT DIDN’T EVEN MATTER!

Closed Captioning tells me the junkyard guy’s name is “JUNKYARD STEVE,” MY MAN

“If only we lived in a town where the answer could be no.”

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: Jughead in his leather jacket OVER HIS SUIT JACKET is pretty good!

“BY ANY CHANCE WAS THIS GENTLEMAN TALL?” OH MY GOD!!!! CASE FUCKING CLOSED BOYS!!!!!!!

Hermione hauling Veronica back for the photographer

Archie looking up from behind the closing art deco elevator doors

The female gaze: Archie is of course so handsome and perfectly proportioned in his suit. his handsomeness is such a given that I take it wholly for granted, like how when not suffering an allergy attack I can breathe from both nostrils but when one hits and I’m sneezing up my guts I’m like, air coming in from both nostrils? true bliss, I’ll never forget it again

God, did he get rid of his tailored cranberry Blossom suit? not the WORST crime committed in Riverdale, but probably worthy of eviction

Fifth period is AP English: as @hangingonyourwords noted, Archie knowing the word “coup” is VERY surprising! GOOD, ARCHIE

Hiram Lodge is, I think, listening to that song from Carmen while pouring himself a stiff drink, the massive Rory Gilmore portrait of Veronica over one shoulder and the blue light of an antipodean sea streaming in over the other, using a rotary phone to call in A MURDER

Tall Boy having to suffer interrogation by Jughead, whom he surely must have always despised, is his final indignity 

Jughead calls Betty “one of us,” which has not been given enough fanfare by ANYONE in the show! Betty is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT as much a Serpent as Jughead, unless Jughead’s mother is a Serpent, except that she hasn’t had to shout their stupid rules into someone’s face yet

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: “YOU HAVEN’T ANSWERED MY SON’S QUESTION.”

the poor Serpents have been twisted around rich northsiders’ fingers for so long that they don’t have any fucking idea what to be doing when NOT at the behest of a blackmailer or bribery. I don’t know what it means to be a Serpent except that it means you’re poor and comely. and VERY civic-minded

“You’re a Judas, Tall Boy. And an idiot.”

Gay.: Sweet Pea raises both his arms to vote

FP’s gonna run Tall Boy out of town. a word of advice: one town over is not far enough

hell, Archie’s seen all those mob movies too! he and Jughead must’ve watched them together while Jughead was sleeping in his bedroom

Archie’s speech to Veronica is GOOD, ARCHIE, and what Veronica gets out just reinforces my thought that Hiram is literally starting a second town under Mayor McCoy’s nose, which would concern me expect that it has been definitely shown that even after things are executed on Riverdale I confuse myself and am invariably exactly wrong

I would probably kiss Archie too if he looked at me like that and said “I’m with you,” which I think explains Betty

HAHAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY!!!!!! SOMETHING IN THE WATER IN FP’S TRAILER

Jughead’s suspenders? a startling plus!

I like the quietness of “Maybe we can ask Veronica on Monday.” it reminded me of Archie’s face-saving some-other-time-definitely promise to go to the library with Jughead

“Maybe we should just investigate quietly until we know more.”

BLESSED BE THE CHILDREN and Jughead’s brusque scoff at himself for saying “my darkness”

in a move that the last few episodes haven’t shown him as having enough sense to make, Jughead puts his hand, not on Betty’s hand, but directly on the skirt of her dress

also Jughead knows that dress zippers have a point where you think it’s gone all the way down but really you’ve got a little further to go otherwise you can’t get the waistline over the hips? Jug’s got a little bit of game going on!

I like the silhouette of Jughead’s Adam’s apple

while Jughead is doing an excellent job delicately checking in with Betty’s sacral chakra, with his bare hand, I don’t want to overlook either his own gently crossed ankles as he holds her or his AMAZING SOCKS

when Betty tells him she needs to tell him something, he EXHALES a “What?” before he says “What is it?” WHOOP

she is missing a pretty sick meatloaf or pork of some more at her mother’s dinner table

I didn’t think there was a physiognomically scarier white guy around than Chic himself, but I was wrong!!!! it’s definitely that guy at the door!!!!!!

oh shit, Archie sort of got somebody (else) killed. this is like when Jughead didn’t mean to but definitely got somebody’s face beaten in by Tall Boy and Serpent Baby—holy shit what happened to that kid!!!! where did Serpent Baby go???

Certified pedigree: OKAY SENDING THE STATUE HEAD TO HIRAM LODGE VIA A CONFIRMATION “PRESENT” TO HIS DAUGHTER IS A PRETTY GREAT MOVE. I ASSUME THIS WAS YOU, FP JONES. FP IS REALLY GOOD AT PUTTING WORDLESS THREATENING MESSAGES INTO BOXES

in the shot bingo of Riverdale, the middle box would have to be Betty coming through her front door and pausing because she hears something suspicious

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: the squishy sound effect of the rags on the wet floor? her perfect hair? her bright blue turtleneck? “Elizabeth, did you lock the front door?” Alice is already three steps ahead!!! Alice Alice Alice!!!!!

Alice and FP have now both cleaned up somebody else’s murder’s cranial blood (I’m assuming Chic clocked this guy, which means it was probably Melody), further proof they belong together

Please protect Betty: Betty fucking Jughead probably saved her life

Next week: Cheryl shoots a bow and arrow!!! into my heart!!!!!!!!!

[trashyazeohane]

Anyhoo it seems you guys like my ideas, so here I am – with new part… If I didn’t have one long fanfick already started, I would turn it into a normal story, but naaah, probably not. Maybe I’ll write something, maybe not, idk…

So where we left off… Ah yeah… And today with even more of my shitty colorful my art!

Part 1 here!

Adult!Maxvid!AU – part 2 (keep it going):

Scene #3

Max wanted to say something. Anything. But his throat was dry and he felt like he suddenly swallowed a ton of bricks, which were made of lead actually. The fact that his Little Star was looking at him curiously wasn’t helping at all. It was making everything way worse.

Oh, Nikki definitely would pay a nice amount of money to see him like this.

And fuck, David was still staring at him and – what the hell – this guy didn’t change at all!? This was unfair.

“Max?” David asked, hands immediately moving to form letters. Little Star followed his movements, only to turn her head at Max in the end.

Fuck, shit, god fucking damn it, he was ruined. Why, just why him? Why now? Why after so many years?

Nevermind I forgot where I was going with the previous scene

After some awkward interaction Max took his Little Star home, still in this half dazed state. She tried to ask him few questions, but he barely could respond with his hands, which weirdly felt like they didn’t belong to him. His aunt also asked him about it, but he just brushed it off to quickly get back to his dorm.

Boom! Max burst into Nikki’s room, who was in the middle of feeding her snake. She was like ‘Sup Max!’ without lifting her head at him.

Scene#4

“Nikki!”

“What?!” The girl looked at him, now clearly perplexed. Well, no wonder. If weird glances from his family were any good indication, then he had to look out of his mind. He felt out of his mind. “Max, you okay, man? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

That could even be even the case.

For few seconds the voice didn’t want to leave his throat. Fuck, even the coherent sentence didn’t want to be formed inside his now mushy brain. Or what was left of it. Seriously, fuck him, fuck his life. Everything was going almost good for few years. He almost managed to forget about him. But then he had to be right there!

Why had he done in his life to deserve it? He probably deserved it, but still!

The interval in the conversation had to be long, because even Nikki started to look… worried? Yes, worried was a good name for the emotion hiding inside her eyes.

“Max?”

“I just saw David.”

“Oh…”

“Just oh!? You’re commenting it with just ‘oh’!?”

“Wait, my mind is still processing this.”

So Max was basically totally freaked out. Like duh! Nikki interrogated him about the whole meeting fiasco and Max realized that he had to look pretty dumb with him uttering almost no words. Fuck. What if David found out? No, but that was impossible!? There was no way he could know what was running through Max’s brain. And even if… most of it was filled with ‘fucks’…

Nikki patted him on the back and was like ‘Everything’s going to be okay.’

Max was like ‘Wtf how!?’

Scene #5

“Well you don’t have to pick up your cousin that often, right? So chill. Maybe you’ll see him like five more times or so?”

“Nikki, I agreed to pick her up every Tuesday and Thursday.”

“That complicates things…”

“No shit, Sherlock!”

So Max was a nervous mess and Nikki actually found it pretty funny. In the end Max snapped at her to stop snickering at him and she just burst into laughter and said that she had to call Neil.

Which she did, later. And then Neil wrote to him in the middle of the night (because that nerd had terrible sleeping schedules due to his Uni). Talking with Neil actually helped more than with Nikki, but well she was never good in lifting people’s spirits up in the end.

Next day rolled more over calmly. Max, maybe not totally forgot about his encounter, but he had terrible labs so he was exhausted to this point where he didn’t think too much about it.

But then Thursday came and Max literally laid in his bed, opened his eyes open and immediately murmured ‘Shit’

The day passed and Max got more anxious with every passing minute. He was so stressed that he snarled and growled at every person that wanted to approach him. Only Nikki was allowed to be close, because she didn’t care. Actually found it hilarious (again).

Then she even dared to show him thumbs-up when he was supposed to go pick his Little Star up. Max showed her middle finger, just because he was nervous and pissed, because he rarely feels nervous and now he was nervous because of that fucktard!

Max taps his foot a lot when he is like that

He was talking a lot with himself in his head while going to the Kindergarten, because duh, maybe David won’t be there today? Maybe he won’t see him anymore? Maybe it was just a terrible figment of his imagination? Yes, maybe David was only there in replacement for someone who had vacations? Maybe he wasn’t already working there and Max won’t see him ever again?

But you kind of want to see him? Admit it!

Shut up, me!

And he was in front of the door.

Shiet, fuck, shiet, fuck!

But he was Max. He had reputation at his Uni. Very bad reputation! He had to keep the face! Especially in front of David. Piece of cake!

So Max stepped inside. The woman behind the counter just asked him to step further into the building, because she had hands full of work (aka. kids).

“You have to turn left at the end of the hall and go through the third door on the right!”

“Okay…”

So he stepped into the hall and slowly moved further. Gladly he didn’t get lost, although he had to replay the instructions two times in his head.

He had to pass one more hallway to get to the class. Max was now pissed and perplexed by this building construction. The fact that it was still filled with shouts and yells of kids didn’t really help calm his nerves. It actually made him more edgy and angry.

So he was majorly pissed when he finally, finally reached the opened door.

He was about to knock on the doorframe, but stopped midway, when he saw David in the middle of the room with his Little Star hanging onto his neck.

And, what the fuck, Max definitely had to be cursed, because he felt all this anger slipping away. He wouldn’t admit that it could be a nice spell, it definitely was a fucking curse.

Anyhoo

Scene #6.1

David was kneeling in the middle of the room. He was explaining something to some kid in front of him and he looked… looked so calm. This everlasting smile was still on his face, always kind and understanding. Just as Max remembered it. David’s hands move smoothly in front of himself and the kid in front twirled his foot into the carpet, but a shy, embarrassed smile tugged at the corner of his lips. It also looked like the kid had been crying not too long ago. (Picture above)

The room was quiet, but not uncomfortable or deadly quiet, just… it felt like the silence was always present here, but not unwelcomed.

Scene #6.2

Then David patted the child’s head and smiled broadly and the kid did the same. Only then he finally noticed Max standing in the corridor, or by now leaning on the wall there. (Picture above)

“Oh hey, Max! I didn’t hear you coming in.”

Max raised his eyebrow, ready to snarky comment back the fact that his footsteps were the fucking loudest thing in this goddamn corridor, but then Little Star untangled herself form David’s neck and ran to him, with that giddy smile on her face, to wrap her hands around her legs.

“Maxie!”

By the way, Max totally hates kids! Like, he feels like snapping when one do something stupid near him. The only kid he likes/loves is Little Star.

“Why won’t you show Max what you did today?” David asked, but it didn’t sound like the voice was directed to anyone. His hands’ movements although were directed at the girl hugging Max’s knees. She grinned at that and left Max’s legs. Only then he felt that they could turn into jelly!!! But somehow he managed to stand still, without falling down. Inner Max patted him on the back.

Scene #6.3

Someone save him, because he felt like collapsing. Especially as David turned his head from following Little Star movements to Max.

And Max’s brain once again did the cursing/swearing sequence.

“How are you doing, Max? We didn’t see each other in like-“

“Seven years.” Why did his brain decided to end David’s sentence? What the fuck was wrong with him?

But it didn’t look like the red-haired male took a notice of this as he continued smoothly:

“Oh my golly, it has been already seven years! You’ve grown up so much.” David said, in that ever happy-tone. Then he closed his mouth, hummed and stepped closer. It took a lot of Max’s inner strength not to step back. Then David’s hand moved from the top of his head to the top of Max’s one. “You even overgrew me! I’m amazed!”

“It just genes.” Max answered, but he felt kind of proud, even though he really didn’t have a reason.

“Ah don’t say that, Max. I’m sure you drunk a lot of milk.” David continued, didn’t fazed by the Max’s interruption. Maybe he even looked glad for it. “You sure changed a lot. Although the blue blouse didn’t. Do they make it also for adults?”

Okay, with that he can deal. So Max rolled his eyes.

“Of course, I still wear the same blouse I had since I was a kid.”

“Wait, really?”

“No.”

As you can see Max isn’t such little/tall shit. Well he usually is a little/tall shit, but he calmed a lot through the years. Although when he doesn’t like someone, he isn’t afraid to show his displeasure and dislike. He is still snarky, sarcastic shit in the end.

David suddenly stopped talking, while looking with wide eyes at Max who was like – shit, did he say something wrong? But no, he had been his usual self. What if-

But then David started to laugh and Max was like –

Fuck

His heart

Which skipped a beat after hearing this laughter.

But gladly he wasn’t frozen for long, cause Little Star was back and proudly showed him a tiny platypus she had made from a plasticine.

Max grabbed and stared at it. It wasn’t that or the most realistic platypus (for starters, it was blue, like very bright blue), but it had some childish charm to it. Plus Little Star made it, so it added a hundred points to the final mark!

Max signed to her ‘It’s amazing! I can see you put a lot of effort into it!’

He did it very sloooow.

But Little Star smiled at him and signed back ‘It’s for you!’

Max tried really hard not to grin, but the half-smirk still appeared on his face. He signed one more time ‘thanks’ and then pocketed the figurine.

Nikki totally stole it later by the way. Max was furious while he searched through his whole room for that figurine only to find in on Nikki’s desk.

Back to the main plot.

Then Max lifted his face and boom, David was smiling so proudly at him with tears in the corners of his eyes.

Scene #6.4

“Awww Max~ that was so sweet!” He cooed and this made Max so embarrassed.

“Fuck, shut up David!”

“Language, Max!”

Okay, I think this is all for part 2 I guess? I had this whole story kind of planned out in my head and it started to turn into a fanfic what the fcuk!

Anyhoo there will be some NSFW parts later? Maybe!? Idk really (I mean, in my head they are there, but I don’t know if I add them here). But sorry, I’m a hardcore fan of bottom!David so yeah… you now know what you can expect in the future~

Love!