Happy Birthday to anyone turning 28 this year because you are amazing and almost 30. You probably have your life together. Good job. And if you don’t, still, nice job. You’re almost there. You’re almost old. Nice.
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girl who needs to ask for reassurance would rather be stabbed than admit they have needs
GIRL GENDER FUNNY‼️ POST MADE BY MOST FEMININE HE/THEY SHUT UP‼️
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random pre-school mom: you are such a good dad, picking your son up from school so often
percy: well, my wife and i switch off depending on our schedules. she’s here the other half of the time
random pre-school mom: that’s so generous of you!
percy, confused: uh, why? i’m his dad
random pre-school mom: it’s just so selfless! oh and your little boy is absolutely adorable. he’s the most precious thing i’ve ever seen!
percy: thanks, he looks a lot like his mom
random pre-school mom: but clearly those eyes come from you
percy: well, yeah. i mean, i am his dad
random pre-school mom, flustered: um, well, are you coming to parents night? i can show you around so you know where to go?
percy: my wife and i will be there, and we’ll figure it out. thanks though
random pre-school mom: *weird fake smiling*
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