#i love living with this constant pain!!!

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

also regarding bday mail, in terms of what the traveller knows about alhaitham, alhaitham thinks he’s really suave and that he never namedrops kaveh, even though he’s done it three times, but since they’re his inadvertent big gay musings he couldnt store in his head, he probably assumes no one notices them? So he wouldn’t mention kaveh since he probably thinks he hasn’t done so when the other hasn’t even been present…..

[lovehours]

i don’t even fucking care

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

when I took a month off work I was lowkey worried I'd come back and find everyone had been fine without me and I wasn't needed at all (because being terrible at every previous job I've had did some ✨damage✨ to my self confidence)

but that is not what happened

I have never encountered someone so fucking happy to see me as my boss' wife was on my first day back, her face lit up like it was christmas, she was practically jumping for joy because now that I'm back she doesn't have to do the ops team's fucking timesheets anymore

I have been told by one of the ops guys that my leave of absence had caused a genuine rift in the boss' marriage because his wife hated doing my job so much they were actively fighting about it

to be clear, his wife is lovely, she doesn't usually throw a shit fit about just anything, it was just that my job is just so fucking annoying that she hated every second of it, and that was the most validating shit I have ever experienced in my LIFE

and the reason she was pissed off at my boss/her husband about it is because he's too soft on his crew and doesn't make them all report their hours for the week

which, as you can imagine, makes building their timesheets extremely fucking difficult

it basically turns the whole process into a puzzle that I have to solve using roughly three different sources of information, one of which is the boss himself who isn't always easy to get ahold of when he's on a site

this puzzle is made even more difficult by the fact that a glitch in our form system keeps messing up the dates on the timecards, so I have to cross reference the time cards from the two (2) ops team members, who actually DO fill out their forms, with the roster, but my boss often changes the roster at the last minute without telling me or noting it down, so then I have to cross reference with the reports they have to submit for certain ongoing jobs because they'll have correct dates and also a list of who was present (if they were doing one off smalltime jobs that week I'll have no physical records and will rely entirely on the boss' memory to confirm dates and staff numbers, unless I can get ahold of one of the ops team members themselves and there's only one who will reliably communicate with me but only when he's not currently on a site)

I tried to explain this process to boss' wife before I left and, looking horrified, she asked me 'is there no way to streamline this?' I replied 'this is streamlined'

as far as I'm aware, as long as I've worked there, there has only been a handful of times people were paid incorrectly, and it was because I was not given correct information by the boss, in the time I was gone, his wife told me that she had incorrectly logged several pays because of this broken ass system

so, as you could imagine, my ego is through the fucking roof right now, I am GOOD at this bullshit job, I took an impossible system and made it work, I am playing on hard mode and killing it, in a field I had zero experience in before taking this job other than a natural inclination for organising and scheduling

and to be clear, I love this job, the boss is too soft on his staff but he's a good guy, he makes us all feel valued and appreciated, he paid me above my award rate, he's absurdly accommodating, and I have an insane amount of freedom to do what I want with company files

I may be working with a bullshit system but I can take naps in the office whenever I want and tell my boss off when he's being too soft (one time his wife literally started clapping when I told him off for sending clients their reports before they'd paid for them) and I get to control when I work, and whether I work from home or the office (which is GREAT when my back flares up)

I might not get many hours (only 16 hours per week) because the company is so small and I run out of things to do because I've streamlined everything (boss literally called me TOO EFFICIENT), but he'll give me those 16 even if I spend half of it playing solitaire and watching youtube

so just, yeah, it feels so good to be confident in my work, to feel valued and appreciated and like I'm actually successful at something after being handed dud jobs for years that I wasn't cut out for, and now knowing that what I'm doing is actually genuinely hard but I've been doing it anyway without fail, makes me feel good!

so tldr; taking a month off work taught me I have phenomenal job security because if my boss ever fires me his wife might actually fucking kill him

[smile-files]

oh yeah, i think it's important to differentiate between the ideas of a "jewish ethnostate" and a "jewish homeland", as a jew myself especially --

of course we deserve a place where we feel safe, a place that puts emphasis on caring for us and not treating us like dirt. but that is not the same as a place that allows ONLY us to be there. (and we are talking about a mass of land, not an affinity club or anything -- we're talking about somewhere people live. who gets to be a part of it is not something you should be policing on lines of race or religion.) we have no right to lay claim to land and force other people out of it. we have no right to a jewish ethnostate.

"oh but if there are any non-jews in our land they'll treat us badly like they always have!!!" no, that's just cynical nonsense. if anything, you're letting the antisemites win by agreeing with the omnipresence of their bigotry. yes, tons of people have been horrible to us. that won't get better by running away from them and hurting other people in the process.

also, it is very worthy of note that jews and their ancestors have lived in palestine, for a great portion of history in fact, but were conquered multiple times by multiple empires and expelled to the diaspora. of course jews want to live in palestine! of course! but palestinians are just as indigenous to the land as we are -- we have absolutely NO right to kill them and kick them out and say it isn't their home (which is exactly what so many empires did to us, in the same land no less).

endorsing zionism and anti-palestinian rhetoric, as a jew, is hypocritical, cruel, and wrong. let palestine be free, as they (and we) deserve to be. they are facing the same terrors we have; let us stand with them.

[britcision]

So this is pretty much what it looks like when I’m world building with the partner

————

Partner: so I want Evil Tony Stark to have this magic painting of a door that opens into a dark little room to keep my boy in when he’s naughty or inconvenient

Me: oh yes very good. And it’s not like the frame is the door, you open the painting of the door into another dimension

Partner: yeah he’s gotta be able to take it away with him so he can have it on command 😈

Me: okay so how I think this works is he paints the room inside it first to make the interdimensional space, and then paints the door closed over it, so he can paint whatever he wants in the room 🤔

Partner: oh yeah that’s cool, so he can put furniture or a happy little tree in 😋

Me, suddenly vibrating: okay but no he actually paints a Happy Little Tree and it’s just a tree in the corner of this completely dark room that just giggles softly all the time 🫠

Partner: …. And we tell the party as a joke the first time about this old cell the boy was in with a happy lil tree 😏

Me: and then we don’t say anything for like 2 years and then one of them gets put in the dark room and they just hear giggling 🤩

————

Or

————

Partner: okay so Evil Tony Stark mostly uses constructs and stuff for servants so we’ll put the Robotery in the basement for those 🤖

Me: okay, and when y’all go back to the abandoned mansion do you want there to be one left behind? 🙂

Partner: fuck yeah and the boy knows all of them he loves little creatures (and the house mimics) 🥰

Me: and since the boy was intentionally left behind, this is probably a construct that was doing something related to him so it’s probably reasonably aesthetic, yea? Like feeding him or dressing him up? 😇

(The boy was being kept as a pet by Evil Tony Stark because he glows for Fey Reasons and was pretty literally a living sculpture for 11 years and they did not exactly worry about the “living” part much)

Partner: yeah, if Evil Tony Stark is gonna see it around it’s gotta be aesthetic ✨

Me: so you find this cute sweet little construct friend and then you go a little further into the room and just see hundreds of partially or fully deconstructed bodies of this exact little guy and most of them are just minorly different aesthetics because Evil Tony Stark just trashes them when he wants a new look

Also one is still just barely alive and that’s because it’s one of the ones with a person’s soul bound to it and they’ve just been cuddling in the dark for months since they were abandoned 🥰

————

This just happens in the winter okay I become Extremely Fucking Ominous for literally no reason and then it’s Horror Time

Most of our world building is him making cool and interesting places and characters and then me sneaking in sideways like “hey what if they’re also super fucked up 👀”

And to be fair he loves it and he always says yes please and helps me fuck them up more

Anyway we laid the groundwork for Lord Meldacio’s mansion today that the party are gonna get to in a couple weeks and I had so much fun this guy is the fucking bomb

[milkweedman]

managed to fuck up my wrist to the point that i can pop the radius back into place but it just comes right back out as soon as i stop putting tons of pressure on it. also it hurts so bad :/

have caught myself genuinely considering breaking my wrist several times now so that i can get some kind of treatment or medication for it. bc the baby tylenol level shit that pain management gives me is um. literally not doing a single goddamn thing. as always.

[pikagirl541]

I am legit about to cry over how fucking hard this fangame is. I've been enjoying Pokémon Pathways and it's been overall good for my mental health. But it has level caps and I need to beat 5 really fucking hard trainers 7 in game days in a row. I'm on the last in game day of this rage inducing bullshit and after 4 tries I finally beat the first of the last five trainers, but I forgot to save afterwards and then lost to the second trainer of the day. I seriously had to hold back tears when I saw I have to battle the first trainer again.

I've lost 5 more times now and I hate myself. I just want my fucking level cap raised from 85. I don't even like these meant for competitive players challenges because I'm not a competitive player. I actually suck at battling without access to my bag. I need my fucking max revives. I worked so hard on this team and now I'm practically soft locked, unable to progress until I beat a practically unbeatable opponent. The one time I managed to win was literally pure luck. And I do mean literally; it came down to how often my opponent missed. My team doesn't have any accuracy modifiers.

I'm screwed. If I let myself lose I'll have to start over again, battling 30 increasingly frustrating trainers all over again. I'd rather abandon the game, learn how to code, and hack the fucking game than start this bullshit over. Why aren't there fan games for casual players who simply want all the Pokémon in one game? Why are they all for competitive players? Why don't they have an option to be slightly easier. Just let me access my bag damn it!

[radgeorgie]

just mourning the comfort I was never allowed & fearing for the future without the right tools I should've learned in childhood. figuring out that both of my parents were horrendous & brought me into a world that I never asked to be in. wondering how to grapple with the idea that I've never been more alone in life, despite crying over isolation and loneliness since I could write. wondering what the purpose is if the journey is enough to splinter this soul so drastically.

[bumblingbabooshka]

A Star Trek Novel called “Pocket Full of Lies” really has NO business going so hard.

[conspiring-limabean]

If you feel attacked or called out by the post about thin non-binary people, please take a second to think about why someone might make that post. Do u recognize when a sentiment might stem from an axis of oppression which you haven't had to experience? you have the luxury of not knowing where you stand on the matter.

Do you clutch your pearls when people make jokes abt white people, or cis people, or straight ppl? Do you ever make mean jokes about carnists despite the fact that you know and love a few of them? compare your feelings toward these things with your feelings about fat people having derision about thin people, and ask yourself why your reactions are different or the same.

You must be someone who has a lot of love & care in your heart to live a vegan lifestyle. I would ask you to share a little bit of that love thru solidarity with the fat community even if you don't automatically know what to make about the posts people make venting about their experiences. Don't take it personally... this is an opportunity to learn about an intersection of oppression and to become a more aware person :) <3

sir it was a completely lighthearted jest. im not offended at all. i reblogged it because it is an amusing post.

ive talked plenty and openly about how fatphobia does affect and hurt me personally because of how my health freak mother tries to force obscenely unhealthy lifestyles onto me out of an obsession with staying skinny--not because she thinks I need to lose weight, but because she thinks I should be terrified of gaining weight. It is an anxiety-riddled task to go to the kitchen to get a snack because I'm terrified of her seeing me eat and going off at me about how I need to eat less. She tells me that when I feel hungry I need to find a way to ignore it and focus on something else. She has tried to make me take herbal gummies that are supposed to artificially suppress my hunger signals. I have to hide food in my room so that I can eat it without her seeing and lecturing me about how I need to starve myself. Like I can see where you're coming from I guess but I think you should understand that fatphobia affects literally everyone, including the people who live in fear and develop horribly unhealthy eating habits or disorders out of the society-conditioned paranoia of gaining a few pounds, which my family tries to force onto me despite me struggling to love myself regardless of how much I weigh

[the-yearning-astronaut]

Send a few good vibes my way if you can spare any. I've put out two applications -- one for a week and a half summer workshop about a new astronomy research method and another for a post baccalaureate research position with NASA. Being accepted into either would be a huge boost on any grad school application and to my CV. But the second would be a full time job out of state. Which means I'd be out of this house.

I need something to change. And soon. Whether it be a full time research position or the CV boost I need to get into grad school next year. Just. Something.

[firelord-frowny]

yeah lmao i definitely dont like my psychiatrist anymore

not that she's doing or saying anything wrong, but she is definitelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy not able to see where im coming from about pretty much anything important.

BUT WAIT thats not true lmao she is doing or saying something wrong! she keeps trying to Do Therapy on me even though i already have a therapist that i really really like and who understands me extremely well and just

idk im so fucking annoyed right now lmao.

[boomerang109]

my epsom salt bath didn’t even fix my shoulder

[paeonie-s]

thinking abt csm again (<- it has been 2 years)

[knifekris]

i may be going a little crazy

[merriclo]

hey can i have like. one part of my body that works correctly pls n ty