#i love making cars humanizations its such a good character design challenge

[champmorado]

my humanized j curby gremlin design!!!!

plus some headshot drawings of the other family leaders

[baglove]

(via cat lovers Mask by mohammed elhachimi)

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chill out city claire andrews claireandrewss classic clout clout goggles college colour colourful country cowabunga dancing, skeleton dark blue dead head death designs disco dolphin donut doodle dorm down drake dude edm elephant elephants emoji eno equal pay eyes fall fat buddha fist floral flower flowers font four stars fries fruit fry funds fye gd50 girl gang girl girl girls

[weirdochick56]

The Bodyguard 2- Bucky Barnes AU

Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Princess!Reader

Warnings: Explicit language, insults, snark, and sassy!Buckster sexy times (ok, so maybe only slightly sexy)

Disclaimers: I don’t own any MCU plots or Characters mentioned

Word Count: 5, 173 words

Summary: The Reader and Bucky’s hate for eachother is at an all time high; she can’t seem to rid herself of him and he, well he can’t seem to get her to cooperate with him. But as their frustrations grow, a late-night outing might just be what they both need to see other parts of eachother. 

A/n: This has been a long time in the making, but I finally felt inspired enough to continue the story. Hope you enjoy it!

~The Bodyguard 1~

***

“You can stop following me now,” you grumble with thorny irritation, rolling your eyes at the tall persistent shadow staying hot on your tail. 

It was in vain to ask him to leave, you knew. Agent Brainless was ridiculously adamant about following you around the moment you stepped foot outside of the palace and he was -infuriatingly so- a stubborn man.

How he knew that you were leaving even when you had concocted what you considered a genius plan to evade those infuriatingly pretty grey irises was beyond you.

He sighs at your words, and you can see the annoyance bubbling to the surface of his cold professional exterior, though he tries his hardest to keep a straight face. 

“Your highness, I think we both know I won’t do that,” he responds simply. “Now if you would please stop being so stubborn and simply do as I ask and come with me to the car so that this is easier for us both...” 

You can tell his patience is wearing thin because, in the past few weeks of having him follow you everywhere you went, you had made it a point to figure out his exact breaking point. 

And as you continue making your escape to town like he isn’t even there, you know that so is yours. If there’s anything that can give you that deep burning satisfaction you sought with everything you did, it was pissing Agent Barnes off.

He had patiently asked you to retreat back the way you came so he could “safely” transport you in a castle-owned car, but you refused redundantly because your friend was already waiting for you, but maybe also because you loved the little twitch of his eye every time you refused to listen to his directions.

If you were being completely honest, he really should’ve been asking you to come back to the castle and not go to a club in town at all- as per your father’s orders. But you weren’t fond of said orders and you definitely didn’t want some dark and mysterious shadow following you around during a night of fun with friends. 

“No,” is all you say because in the few minutes you’ve spent talking to him you’ve noticed he’s the most infuriated when your responses are curt and nonchalant. 

You want to see him snap oh so bad...seeing those steely grays lose their cool? Gold. 

“Princess...” he growls in warning, daring you to cut that little thread of control he had left in him with your sharp tongue. 

You don’t look back at him even once enjoying the thrill that travels up your spine at his low-timbre words and the way his voice travels straight to your core, tugging at your short black dress lightly. 

You wanted to see what he would do should he be pushed over the edge. It was fun.

“I already told you, I’m not listening to you. My friend is already waiting for me. And I’m sorry if you have an issue with- Ahh!” Your words choke back into your throat and morph into a shocked yelp when big rough hands grip your hips, spinning you around and without much of a warning, lifting you with incredible ease.

Before you know it, you’re being carelessly thrown over a broad, strong shoulder.

You let out a small ‘oomph’ when the wind gets knocked out of you and all you see is a firm ass, the blood rushing to your head. 

“What the hell do your think you’re doing you absolute buffoon?!” You screech hysterically, wriggling aggressively against his hold on your thighs. 

He barely flinches, only wrapping his muscular arm tighter around your legs and adjusting you on his shoulder like it was a mere midnight stroll for him and you weighed no more than what a feather did. 

“I’m taking you to the car,” he informs as if it’s obvious, voice full with obnoxious satisfaction. 

“Get your filthy hands off me this instant you utter and complete idiot!” You growl, twisting harshly but he doesn’t let go so you start pounding on his firm back with your fists, fighting to free yourself of him. “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!”

He just laughs at what seems to be your weak attempts to break away. He laughs.

You gasp at the absolute and complete audacity he has of laughing when he’s treating you, the single heir to the Androvian throne, like a sack of potatoes. 

“You ass!” You wriggle around some more, tugging at his hands to try to pry them off your legs but all he does is smack them away as if they were mere pesky flies. 

“I may be,” he chokes back a small snort but only barely. “But at least I’m the only ass trying to keep your reckless self in check, princess.”

Indignation, humiliation, and utter vexation all burn deep inside you like a thrumming fire ready to ravage everything in its way when it got the chance to escape your body as you slowly fall limp against him. 

Resignation comes hand in hand with the deep desire for revenge and you fist your hands in deep ache to somehow exercise it. 

He carries you all the way to the garage of cars in the back part of the castle, walks over to a black SUV out of all the expensive cars to choose from, opens it and all but throws you into the back leather seats like you’re not a fucking human, much less the princess of the land he’s currently stepping in. 

You land flat on your back in the smooth leather interior of the luxury SUV with a small thud and instantly sit up to glare at him heatedly. “Do you have any idea who I am? Be gentle, you brute!” 

Annoyingly enough, he simply ignores you and leans over your body. His heat floods through your bare skin and feels good for a second and you subtly inhale his musky scent as he tugs on the seatbelt, roughly pulling it over you. 

You forget about your hatred for him for a split second and that only makes you angrier when it comes back full force. 

You fucking idiot, Y/n. 

In a last and desperate attempt of defiance, you try to push his hands away to which he responds by firmly pressing you back by your shoulder into your seat and staring you dead in the eye with blazing grey eyes. 

The fire that swirls in them is...something. Not necessarily scary, but intimidating and...something else.

Something that makes your skin flush and your nerves throb to life. 

You stare right back, tilting your chin up to show him you weren’t backing down or scared of him and his brute force. He got too under your skin and you knew you got under his which only offered you only a limited amount of comfort. 

He clenches his jaw as he clicks the seatbelt into place, never looking away from your challenging gaze. As if to stick another dagger into your burning insides. As if to reassert his power here. 

Your labored breaths are all that can be heard for miles to come in the calm night air and he leans close for a second, your heaving chests gently brushing.

Not meaning for it to happen, you feel your nipples harden beneath the flimsy fabric of your black party dress and you wonder if you imagine his hands clenching around your shoulder -his fingers digging into your flesh with suppression- or the sly flick of his eyes from your eyes to your lips. 

You wonder if you imagine the look of heat that passes over his eyes when your breaths mix the second time seems to stop and an overwhelming emotion washes over you. 

But then it’s gone as soon as it came and hatred burns deep in your belly once more. So deep that it hurts and brings painful tears to your eyes, your nose burning so hard you can’t focus through your blurry vision.

You lean in closer, so close your nose is brushing just barely against his and pause for a second. A second of torture for him, a second of uncertainty, a second where his breath catches and his pupils dilate. 

Then you speak, voice trembling with overwhelming anger. 

“I have never,” you whisper, licking your lips. “Been treated with such disrespect.” You swallow hard, cheeks red with humiliation. 

You see a flash of guilt in his eyes but it’s quickly replaced by his usual look of cool professionalism- not even anger anymore. Not even that.

And he leans right back into you, a wave of heat passing over both of you. “Then learn to listen next time. It’s for your safety.” 

And just like that he’s drawing back, slamming the passenger door closed and climbing into the driver’s seat- leaving you cold and angry beyond reason.

A moment of tense silence passes before he releases a tiny sigh and breaks it by turning on the ignition. 

“Where are we going?”

*

BUCKY’S POV

I watch her laugh at something one of her friends says from a dark corner of the club and it’s hard not to stare for reasons other than my duty being just that...to look after her. 

The club was a luxurious one, with high ceilings, intricate designs and a VIP section where we were immediately escorted to.

Her Highness’s friends, a blonde guy and girl who had nodded at me in polite acknowledgment were already waiting for her there and I assumed that the few seconds when she had stopped her sulking and taken out her phone from her clutch were the seconds she was texting her friends to meet her there instead. 

I would never admit it, but I enjoyed watching her cave. It was like taming a wild horse, even if momentarily. 

Princess Y/n was a brat, plain and simple. Selfish, childish, and feisty as hell, I had never met anyone as completely and utterly vexing as her and to say these past few weeks had been hell would be an understatement. 

If I wasn’t so good at my job, I would’ve lost her already. She threw me for a loop any chance she got, cutting corners and doing everything she could to avoid my protection. 

As I stared at her with that pretty ass smile on her annoyingly beautiful face, it’s hard to imagine that that was the same person pushing every single one of my buttons just a few minutes before. 

She actually looked relaxed and...nice?

God, she infuriated me in ways I had no idea I could be infuriated, discovered buttons I didn’t know I had and pushed them to the point I had to throw her over my damn shoulder like a sack of flour.

I was a professional, for God’s sake. Had always been one with every single one of the cases I was assigned, so why was she the one to get under my skin?

...And why did I enjoy having her perfectly round ass so close to my face? Why did I keep thinking about the defiance in those stupidly big eyes over and over like I....craved it?

I wondered to myself as I watched her take down a shot by the bar. She glanced at me over her shoulder, still smiling, but it quickly melted away when our gazes clashed and my own mood soured instantly. 

I grimaced when she looked away as if I had burnt her with my eyes and quickly pulled my head out of the gutter. 

The fact that she was utterly gorgeous didn’t change how annoying she was. Not to mention I was here on a job. 

One I fully intended to complete, no matter how fucking difficult the client was.

*

The night moves on at a slow pace for me. The princess parties and I watch her like a hawk, making sure not to let her get too wild. 

So far I had pried off five guys who were trying their luck with her. From what I’d read on her file and the extensive research I’d done online, her face wasn’t really well known. 

She was always kept  secret and would be until she was crowned queen of Androvia- some weird old belief or something- so not many people knew what she looked like. 

Meaning, these guys probably didn’t know who they were trying to get all handsy with on the dance floor and would only assume was some rich daddy’s girl once my towering form appeared and nicely escorted them away. 

For the most part nicely, anyway. Some I had to get a little rougher with. 

I make sure to keep my eyes glued on her form, ignoring the way she moved her hips in that tiny black dress. It hugged her alluring curves like a glove and I swallowed hard as she grinded on her female friend, head thrown back and a free smile on her face. 

“She is...beautiful, isn’t she?” 

I calmly turn towards the voice as it hums out from beside me, turning to see the guy she came with. He takes a sip of his drink, smirking as his eyes remain on the way the princess waves her hands in the air to the beat of the song, sensually shaking her hips as if she was one with the sexy R&B song I had no idea the name of. 

I clear my throat, remaining stock still in my bodyguard pose. “Sir, I”m only here to protect her Highness. I really don’t-”

“Oh don’t even try to hide it. She’s easily the most beautiful woman in this whole club.”

He takes my silence as confirmation, it seems, because he proceeds to speak on as if I’ve agreed.

“But it’s not just her physical appearance is it? It’s something else. Something...inside,” he whispers. 

When I don’t respond, he continues bitterly. “I’m warning you; don’t fall for her. It’ll only bring you a world of pain, trust me.”

I catch the pain in his voice and stiffen. “I would never fall for one of my subjects, sir,” I assure him.

He laughs sourly. “Sure bud. You keep telling yourself that.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” I insist, swallowing thickly as she laughs, beautiful smile wide and her laughter too melodious to be coming out of such a wretched little urchin. 

“Well,” he coughs suddenly, clapping me in the shoulder. “I think I need another drink. Want one?”

I eye his hand which he slowly pries off and shake my head with a slightly clenched jaw.

“I’m on the job, sir,” I remain calm and professional despite the fact that all I wanted to do was break that hand for putting stupid thoughts in my head. 

Because for a second there, as the bright club lights shun down on her, I could see what he talked about when he said there was something inside. In that smile, those eyes, that laugh...

But then she made eye contact with me and the feeling turned bitter so quick it’s a miracle I didn’t get whiplash. 

She was a brat. Nothing more.

*

YOUR POV

Sometime late into the night, you had found myself fairly buzzed. Not enough to fall on your face, but enough that walking- well, stumbling over to Agent Asshole only seemed more and more attractive an action.

He glances at you with those eyes and you can’t help the anger the bubbles within you. “Do you plan on staring me down the entire night?”

“It’s my job,” is all he says. 

You scowl fiercely at him. “I hate you,” you seethe.

He raises a dark brow but otherwise keeps that stoic expression on his face. “Do you want to leave, your Highness?”

His neutral tone and complete lack of reaction only angers you more and you shake your head furiously. “No, I don’t want to leave. I want you to leave though.”

He presses his lips firmly together. “I’m sorry-“

“No, you’re not.”

“Huh?” He cocks his side slightly to the side and you lean closer to him, craning your neck to look him in the eye.

“I said; you’re not sorry. If you were sorry, you WOULD LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” You feel your drunken emotions deep in your chest and without much effort, your voice quickly escalates.

He sighs heavily. “Okay, your highness, I think it’s time I take you back to the castle. C’mon,” he waves a hand toward the door.

You laugh at him coldly, shaking your head. “Who do you think you are, ordering me around? Know your place asshole, you are below me- never forget,” you growl snarkily, leaning right into his face.

You feel his breathing quicken against your cheeks the longer you defiantly smirk up at him, his calm eyes darkening.

You realized you enjoyed pushing him to the edge, that you craved this look on his face...

He smirks mockingly down at you, staring you down. “You can come willingly, your highness, or I can throw you over my shoulder like last time.” He leans straight into your ear, whispering hotly. “I’m sure you would rather not go through the embarrassment.”

You swallow thickly, your heart hammering against your chest and you’re not sure it’s from anger anymore. With disgust, you jerk away from him, glaring holes into his head.

“Let’s go.”

*

“You can go, Agent Obnoxious,” you mumble drunkenly, waving a dismissive hand at him as you stumble into your warm room, practically ripping off your heels.

You throw them somewhere in the corner of the large room, sighing with relief when you feel your bare feet touching the soft carpeted floor. 

Your knees shake slightly and buckle and you end up tripping forward.

You land on the ground with a soft grunt and for some reason, laughter bubbles deep in your chest.

“Your Highness!”

A few seconds later, you feel strong warm hands wrapping around your body to heave you up. You place your hands on his strong arms for support and look up at Agent Barnes.

The laughter immediately dies on your lips when you see a beautiful concerned frown of engraved deep in his face. It looks so sincere and his arms are so strong...

Before you know what you’re doing, a small mumble is leaving your lips. “You...” you cut yourself off abruptly when his eyes meet yours.

His hands now rest lightly on your waist, and you’re so close you can smell him. His scent is deep and rich and manly, so unlike the scent of those rich assholes you were forced to mingle with on a daily basis.

And his hands, are strong and resilient. The callouses on them tells you that he’s worked his entire life. Those hands, the ones holding you right now, They’ve probably handled a gun, they’ve probably saved so many lives...

You bite your lip, thinking about the way those hands felt on the skin of your arm and how heavenly it would feel if it traveled all over.

Goosebumps rise on your skin as you crane up your neck to stare up at him.

He stares down at you, and even when your room is dark, the light of the moonlight that filters in from the huge window highlights the heavy tension in his gaze.

You’re both unmoving and you wonder if he enjoys touching you as much as you enjoy his touch.

He inhaled deeply, his eyes flickering to your lips and eyes and then back.

You want to ask him what he’s thinking. You want to tell him to just do it -to just kiss you because you wouldn’t dare push him away- not in this state, not when the alcohol and his scent and eyes were clogging every single sense and reason you had, but you’re afraid to break the spell of whatever this was. 

So instead, you wait on abated breath, feeling like you’re both on the verge of something utterly earth-shattering, for him to move.

Finally, he speaks a few seconds later and it’s a quiet murmur. “Let’s get you to bed, princess.”

You ignore the sharp sting of his rejection when you were so clearly begging him to kiss you and step away from his touch as if he’s burnt you.

You turn around so he can’t see the hurt in your eyes. “You can go now Agent Brainless,” you say coldly over your shoulder, but you know it’s a lot softer than the other time.

Another second passes. “Princess..” he whispers.

You ignore his barely audible whisper and angrily begin undressing, tugging at the straps of your dress.

“What in the world do you think you’re doing?” He growls lowly as you begin to pull your dress down to your waist.

With a sarcastic smile, your turn towards him, your top half completely naked aside from your black lacy bra.

His gaze immediately falls on your half-naked chest, but aside from the small flicker in his eyes and gulp he takes, he gives no other indication of shock.

You raise a brow. “Are you going to watch me undress now too, Agent Barnes?” You ask mockingly.

His eyes find yours again and they’re darker than you’ve ever seen them. They send shivers through your whole body and you almost give into the urge to look away, but the anger and frustration within you don’t allow your gaze to waver.

“I’m not leaving until you’re safely in bed,” he husks, clearly trying his best to remain professional and cold as his icy stare bores into your eyes- purposefully looking away from your naked form.

You tilt your head up at him innocently, slowly sauntering closer to him. “Oh? Well in that case, do you mind helping me with the zipper of my dress? It’s stuck.”

You turn your back on him and a smirk blossoms in your face as you hear his breathing strain, your ass slightly brushing against his crotch area. 

He blows out a shaky exhale and it blows against your naked back, all hot and angry. 

When he makes no move to help you, you look at him over your shoulder. “Well?” 

His grave expression doesn’t budge. “I can’t do that,” he says lowly. 

But even as he resentfully spits this, he doesn’t budge and his eyes are still tracing over your body, their electric desire leaving goosebumps over wherever they ran over.

You roll your eyes at him. “Then turn around, you idiot.” 

He growls, fisting his hands and clenching his jaw tightly but doesn’t try to fight you on it and turns his broad back to you.

You’re intoxicated, so it’s probably because you’re not thinking straight, but as you quickly slip on a silk night gown and stare at his back, you can’t help the deep heavy sadness that sinks into your chest. 

Why hadn’t he kissed you just now? You could’ve sworn he wanted to and you sure as hell did...it was there, the moment, the split second when you were willing to risk it all, to overlook any and all boundaries, cross all imposing lines- but you lost it. 

Pushing your hair to the side, you convince yourself it was for the best. 

“I’m done,” you say softly, climbing into bed. 

Agent Barnes nods at you stiffly, turning on his heels to leave as you get under the covers. Blaming this on your intoxication, you suddenly find yourself exclaiming. 

“Wait!” 

He pauses right before his foot moves outside the doorframe and turns toward you, eyebrows raised. “You need something, Your Highness?”

You stare at him seriously, pressing your head against your pillow. “Don’t...leave, please,” you whisper softly, curling into a ball at the tenderness of your voice.

“I don’t want to be alone,” you admit quietly. 

He freezes, staring at you as if he’d never seen you before and you avert your gaze, afraid maybe you let on too much. 

“Sorry,” you quickly apologize, but that only flusters you more. “I-I mean not sorry, you asshole. Just- whatever. I’m in bed now, you can go.” 

Feeling embarrassed, you quickly flip over and turn your back to him.  

Seconds later, you hear the door click close and then nothing. A heavy sigh escapes you and you try to suppress the feeling of disappointment that envelops your whole body. 

You didn’t know if it was the drinks or the cold distant dinners you’d been having with your family...but you had never felt more alone. All the clubbing and trying to escape your destiny by trying to pave a life of your own couldn’t fill in that emptiness you couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard you tried.  

You didn’t want to feel like that anymore. Not tonight. 

So even if it was your bodyguard who you hated with everything in you, you needed someone just to be there. Even if it was just to sit in silence with.  

Suddenly, you hear a gentle swish noise and gasp lightly, flipping over. Agent Barnes has thrown his jacket over the chair beside your bed and is loosening his tie and he stares at you. His beautiful gaze sucks you in as you blink up at him in surprise. 

He shrugs. “I can’t just....leave you here alone.” 

Your chest clenches painfully and warmth travels all over your body like warm gooey honey. The feeling of having someone there for you when you need them most is almost overwhelmingly strong. 

“Thank you,” you whisper so quietly, you’re shocked he even hears it. 

He tilts his head at you, frowning with that handsome face of his. “For what? It’s my job.” 

There he goes detaching himself. With a gentle shrug, you nod and curl into a ball under your covers, trying to covet sleep. 

You try this for a few minutes and you’re tired, but you can’t help thinking about Agent Barnes sitting in a hard chair all night. After a while of tossing and turning, you sit up. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” you breathe with irritation. 

“What? What happened?” he sits up instantly, and though you could tell he was on the verge of dozing off, his sharp senses are impressive as he reaches for the gun on his ankle frantically. 

You sigh, hating the way your cheeks grow hot and you look away timidly. “Just get into bed,” you say roughly. 

“What?”

You bite your lip, looking at him in the eyes. “I said; get into bed with me. That chair is uncomfortable.” 

He laughs lightly. “Princess, I was trained by the world’s best assassins. I was taught to sleep on a cold concrete ground if need be.” He gives the chair a firm pat. “This chair is a luxury for a guy like me.”

You stare at him for a few seconds more, wondering more about his past before lightly shaking your head. 

“I don’t care. I still feel bad that I made you sleep here on a chair. Just get in already, will you?” You growl at his stubbornness. “The bed is huge, there’ll be enough space for the both of us, if that’s what you’re concerned about,” you add on, softly. 

After a few seconds of intense eye contact, he finally relents with a small sigh. “Fine.” 

Hesitantly, he cuffs his sleeves and perches himself on the edge of the bed- all stiff and tight. “Good?” He asks, glancing at you with raised brows.

You frown. “You’re kidding.”

“What?”

“You’re not actually planning to sleep like that are you?” You snort. 

“I told you-”

“That you were trained by dangerous assassins, yeah yeah. But you’re still a human and a ridiculous one at that,” you scoff before suddenly smirking.  “You’re not afraid of lil old me, are you? I’m tiny- I couldn’t possibly hurt you...too much,” you offer him a faux innocent smile, batting your lashes. 

He stares at you, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “Oh trust me, I’ve met girls like you before. You definitely don’t bite.” 

You raise a brow amusedly. “Girls like me?”

His sexy smirk widens. “Yeah. You’re all bark but no bite,” he replies vaguely.

Feeling partially indignant and partially curious, you decide to probe him for answers. “Oh yeah?”

He can’t resist your subtle challenge and continue speaking. “You’re always in power, constantly being chased after because you’re beautiful and rich and you act like it’s what you want in a guy, but it isn’t, is it?”

Deeply intrigued by his generally accurate analysis, you can’t help but laugh. “Oh?”

“No.” He stares deeply into your eyes and the smile slips off your lips as he says his next words with the intensity of a thousand suns. “You bark out orders and you take on responsibilities like a boss, but what you really want is a man. Not a pushover boy that’ll listen to your every command and constantly try to please you, fall at your feet...But a man that’ll choke slam you on the bed, that’ll make you his, that’ll torture you with the deepest pits of hellish pleasure until he ruins every other man for you. You want to be controlled, brought over the edge so far you won’t ever be able to go there by yourself and then at the last moment get that taken away from you. You want to be used.” 

You openly gape at him but he ignores you and slightly scoots closer, still at a safe distance, but close enough where you can feel his body heat radiating off of him.

“Sleep, Princess,” he whispers. “I’ll keep an eye out for you.”

At first, you’re too shocked to react. Your heart is positively hammering against your ribcage and your cheeks are uncharacteristically red. You were flushed. How had he managed to...’you know what?’ You think. ‘No.’ 

You breathe in deeply. ‘ I’m not going to think about it anymore.’

Because doing so would mean letting him win. And also, never mind the fact that he’s in your bed right now...

Decidedly, you squeeze your eyes shut, begging sleep to come amidst all your stupid, surely drunken thoughts about your stupid bodyguard and kissing him, or simply straddling him right now...

Despite how much you disliked him, you felt safe and protected, like you could let your guard down. And yet...not enough. 

Soon, lulled by the steady beating of his heart and the warmth of his body, you curl into a ball and slowly let your heavy lids close, relaxing completely.

“Oh, and Agent Brainless?” you murmur, on the very verge of sleep. 

“Yes, princess?” He looks at you. 

You manage to send him one last cold smirk before answering.  

“Don’t misinterpret this, right now. I’m merely asking you to do your job.” 

And then darkness takes over.

Before fully giving into the softness of the darkness of slumber, though, you think you hear him laugh softly and say something like “wouldn’t dream of it, brat.” 

****

They’re honestly growing on me. Should I continue?

ALSO YALL SEE TFATWS????  SEBASTIAN LOOKS SO DARN GOOD PLEASEEEEEE

A special thanks to:

@lilypalmer1987

@jessikared97

@sammykb1994

@mogaruke

@mo-onstarrs

@loveofmychips @juliesland​

[tyrantisterror]

The ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D: Entry Roundup

You’ve been patiently waiting for the results of the ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D, and now... you have to wait a bit longer, but at least you’ve got an entry roundup with lots of sketches and a good bit of feedback for all the entrants!  My goal is to get the finalists illustrated in a week or two, and after that, the grand prize winner will be announced.  But, for now, the official entry roundup!  After the cut:

I should note that while I sketched these in the order they were submitted, my scanner saved the documents with random names, so they’re a bit jumbled.  You know, just in case you’re like me and would get confused noticing that it’s almost in chronological order but with some entries jumbled around.

@bugcthulhu’s Obsideban was designed as a counterpart to Rohobaron - the Black King to Rohobaron’s Red King, if you will.  Or, well, Black Queen in this case, as Obsideban also takes her personality from the “delinquent girl” archetype in Japanese media.  Bug’s designs always ooze personality, and I had a lot of fun translating this big, gnarly retrosaur into my own style.

@toothlessloveshiccup‘s Argonox is the first - but far from the last - monster in this breakdown that brings in a bit of fantasy influence to ATOM’s roster.  A golden-fleeced ram with a vicious streak, this sheep is both treasure and dragon at once.  And while it wasn’t written in the monster’s profile, given the Yamaneon-rich nature of its wool, Argonox might be able to replicate the healing power of the golden fleece too!  A very fun mammalian kaiju and excellent entry.

@highly-radioactive-nerd submitted Gunmetal Jeeves, a robot butler who can gigantomax temporarily create a holographic/hard light version of himself to fight kaiju.  That detail was a late revision added to the entry before the contest’s deadline, made after the creator realized that ATOM allows for some truly ludicrous bullshit, which is something everyone should exploit when making entries for this in my opinion.  Also, this is a robot butler who can size shift.  Revel in its awesome absurdity!

Ultranerd submitted Rajasaurus, a dimetrodon-like synapsid kaiju with electric powers.  His origin specifies that the electric powers are a result of the volatile nature of the Yamaneon deposits he mutated under, which is an interesting idea.  That’s another theme that cropped up a lot in this contest’s entries, actually - people really wanted to play with what Yamaneon can do.

Case in point, @polygonfighter’s Yamaneolith takes the Monolith Monsters homage at the heart of Yamaneon even more apparent.  I like the implication that there is a second mineral-based lifeform at the root of this Yamaneon cluster’s anomalous behavior - a parasite, perhaps?  It brings up some interesting possibilities.

@ariccio50 submitted Kukulkuzana, and damn is this a cool spin on the body plan of my martians.  I made a few changes here and there (splitting its tail into two is probably the biggest one), but tried to keep true to the original design, because holy hell is it gorgeous.  The idea that this is a mountain-dwelling creature is really intriguing to me, as it looks like a sea creature, but at the same time, that flexible and low-slung build WOULD work pretty well in mountains, and it’s just the right mix of plausible weirdness that makes for a fun alien design.

@akitymh submitted Aramzados, a Venusian monster that’s basically an organic hot rod car.  I like the idea of organic machinery being the gimmick for Venusian kaiju, and Aramzado’s does it subtly enough to not feel like that gimmick is the sole thing going for it.  I especially love this monster’s stange, apparently mouth-less blade-beaked face.

@virovac submitted Rurzar and Zar Rider, a Beyonder kaiju and mecha (respecitvely) that were both modified and repurposed by humans reverse engineering Beyonder technology to make, like, a motorcycle-saurus essentially.  It is a delightfully absurd concept, and a very, very detailed one (13 pages of description).  There’s a dark undercurrent beneath the sillyness, though, as this pair show that humanity might still be following the same path as the Beyonders before them.

@dinosaurana brings us Krangor, a humanoid monstrosity of living kelp!  The goal here was to create a Jack Kirby-esque monster dude, complete with the gibberish name and all.  He’s also made out of kelp, which feels very classic 1950′s monster-y despite me not being able to think of any monsters that were explicitly made of kelp.  I love him.

@kiryuthechimera submitted Genkakurah, a psychic retrosaur with some draconic features.  Though his substantial powerset is probably the biggest distinguishing feature of this kaiju (given that most ATOM kaiju pretty much have the same standard powers), what really draws me to him is that reptilian pseudo-beard.  It’s just a fun detail!

@glarnboudin submits Tiratola, and see, there’s that fantasy influence again!  Even more explicitly dragon-y than Kraydi, Tiratola still manages to toe the line between sci-fi and fantasy enough to fit ATOM as is while still cementing its ties to my own slice of fantasy fiction.  Man it’s good I’m doing a Midgaheim book next, huh?

@dragonzzilla submitted Scuttlebutt/Argonautilus, a hermit crab kaiju who lives in/with a hollowed out mecha.  That’s a twist I can’t recall ever hearing before, and the idea of a kaiju and a mecha having an equal partnership that doesn’t involve one being grafted to the other is really intriguing to me.  A very unique concept!

@evolutionsvoid submitted Fleagor, an enormous flea who has no idea what to do with itself now that there’s no creature large enough for it to parasitize.  I love that concept - it takes the core idea of the giant bug kaiju archetype (i.e. unsettling the audience by showing how terrifying small, “insignificant” creatures would be if our sizes were reversed) and really turns it on its head.  The name also plays on the Universal Monsters, who were a huge part of 1950′s pop culture thanks to their movies being re-released in that era, so all and all this one is very on brand for ATOM!

@skarmorysilver submitted Lilacorn, another entry that plays up that Midgaheim/ATOM connection.  Reinterpreting the mythological unicorn as an Cenozoic wooly rhinoceros-inspired monster gives it a very unique look, both in ATOM and in the general world of unicorns, and she has a bad-girl with a heart of gold personality to boot!

dracosaurus-rex submitted Florasaura, a two-headed plant/retrosaur hybrid monster.  I love me some plant monsters, I love me some retrosaurs, and I love me some rhyming the word “flora” with other words that contain similar vowell sounds, so this one has me written all over it!

@downtofragglerock submitted Sauroguana, a delightfully odd flying retrosaur.  There’s a great deal of charm to the original illustration that this sketch doesn’t quite capture - it’s a deceptively simple design with a lot of personality in it, and with those unique leg-wings it really doesn’t need a whole lot of frills to stand out.

Draxi submitted Brakan, an unimpressive burrowing retrosaur kaiju whose mastery of illusions allows it to convince other kaiju it’s actually a big, super-powerful badass that’s the ultimate fighter in the universe.  It’s a delightful parody of the concept of a fan self-insert god-mode character, with a really fun story built into it to boot!

@quinnred submitted O.N.I.A.C., a mysterious cocooned kaiju whose chrysalis has been turned into an organic computer of sorts by the people studying it, and seems to possess a fairly advanced intelligence for a kaiju.  It’s a really bizarre and ominous idea, with built in intrigue given how vague its nature is.  Is it just a kaijufied butterfly/moth who got stuck mid transformation?  A relative of the Mothmanuds?  Something else, perhaps equally alien?  Good story potential here.

shadyserpent submitted Vespilitor, a bat/retrosaur hybrid made by the nefarious Spooks Organization.  A mercurial prankster whose tendency to stir up trouble never crosses the line into maliciousness, he’s the kind of monster who would make a great foil to a lot of ATOM’s cast.  I’d especially like to see him in a prank off with Ahuul - it’d be like Bugs Bunny fighting Daffy Duck, but on a kaiju scale.

@multiversefan submitted the Yamaneon King, a nomadic kaiju whose refusal to settle down causes problems as he stirs up trouble at kaiju sanctuaries all over the globe by showing up unannounced and stirring up the locals.  He was basically designed to be a monster that the kaiju sanctuary initiative would struggle to deal with, which is a good idea for a post-ATOM Volume 2 story conflict.

Sir K submitted Jadeera, a kirin kaiju that can actually forcibly convert most of its body to Yamaneon to enter a dormant, statue-like state in a loose homage to King Shisa.  Though the fantasy elements are far more present than I usually prefer for ATOM kaiju, I think it should be noted they’re pushed that far for a purpose - a theme in Jadeera’s entry, which continues where its creator left off with their submission to the previous ATOM create a kaiju contest (Yokaigon), is that the world of kaiju is more complicated and challenging than many are willing to accept, which is a theme in ATOM itself.  Yokaigon’s more supernatural/occult powers are based on the ghost parascience of my setting, which ATOM has delved into a bit (Pathogen being the big example), so it’s not as out of left field as some might think.

@cerothenull​ brings us our final entry (unless some got lost thanks to tumblr’s shitty tagging system), the flying spider Naeranti.  She’s a kaiju spider who uses silk to make complicate hot-air balloons, more or less, and that’s just delightful.  ATOM could always use more spider-monsters, and with a really unique gimmick backing up a wonderfully distinct look, Naeranti is sure to stand out among her fellow giant arachnids.

Well, that’s the roundup!  In a week (or two, depending on how much my hand cramps) we’ll have the five finalists, and sometime after that, the grand prize winner!

[ryo-maybe]

7, 12, 25 and 35?

7. Most disappointing game you’ve played?

Fire Emblem Fates. I loved Awakening to death (I specifically kept my copy along with Echoes' when I sold all my 3ds games), so when Fates was about to come out, I was down bad. Pre-ordered both versions of the game, which is the sinning equivalent of performing an Astra on your nether regions. With a Brave Weapon. I didn't give a shit. I needed Fates to give me more of the magic, the wonderful characters and fun gameplay that made me love Awakening so much.

Then I played it.

I couldn't. I straight up tried to gaslight myself into believing I liked the game for what few good aspects it had, if only to justify the monetary expense, which at the time was about the equivalent of one month's worth of food for me (well, still is, but that's beside the point), but, I simply couldn't like it. I hated the weird gimmicky way weapons worked as a trade-off for the removal of durability. I hated the characters. I hated Corrin's stupid, stupid ass. I hated the oddly written and/or paced Supports. The fucking Baby Dimension. The plot... look, we all know, we've talked it down to death, but MAN... I gave so little of a shit that Conquest's decent gameplay couldn't save the whole shebang for me. If it was just the gameplay, I could have played loads of other FEs, with the caveat that they also had a story and characters that didn't make me want to piledrive my ass onto a cactus.

12. Most bizarre game you’ve ever played?

Ooh, I know this one. I had to think on it for a while, but I think I can safely answer this with Steambot Chronicles. There are games done with a deliberate style and aesthetic that evoke a sense of surreality, like, say, Suda51's or SWERY's - Steambot Chronicles does not fall under the same purview. It is a game with the deceptive aesthetic of something aimed at younger audiences, but with an incredibly melancholic veneer to it, and a surprising amount of mature topics such and death and grief featured in its story, among other things. The gameplay... how do I even describe it properly? There is exploration. You can play an instrument (and its associated rhythm minigame) on a corner of a street to gain some dimes from passersby. There is a stock market you can fully engage with. Your responses can make your character pass off as a goody-two-shoes, an asshole, or a dude roleplaying as a soldier. You fight arena matches with mecha shaped like oldie car chassis, except with arms (or drills, or swords, or pile-drivers) and legs (or threads, or spider legs) instead of wheels. You can date and have (implied) sex with some characters. Some of the NPC questlines are as depressing as a Soulslike's. You can end the game by bombing society back into a less technology-addicted dark age. Its Japanese name is "Bumpy Trot". The cover looks like this:

It's a deeply fascinating experience. And the Trotmobiles are an absolutely genius design.

25. Proudest accomplishment in gaming?

I'm not really tryhard enough to do big challenges or anything, but on a purely personal level, I fondly remember this one day of my childhood I spent hooked on my PS2 all day learning how to successfully execute all of King's throw strings in Tekken 5. Of course, it ended up mattering little since I still had to remember how to perform them outside of Practice Mode, but still! It definitely felt very fulfilling at the time.

On the topic of fighting games, any victory I manage to get by the skin of my teeth against @r4ampage feels downright cathartic.

Oh, and clearing the entirety of both Ouendan games in high school too!

35. Best protagonist?

I like Kyle Hyde from the Hotel Dusk series (if you can even call it that, with only two games to its name) a whole damn lot. He checks a lot of my archetypical preferences: he is a detective, a grump who can't help but care about others, an utter loser, and, most important of all, he is so, so delightfully human. I think that, at the end of the day, he embodies a lot of what I like in a character in a simple, straightforward, yet not necessarily inferior fashion to other characters with more complex writing.

That said, I will also say that Library of Ruina's Roland also became a very dear favorite in more recent times, but to properly explain the reasons why I would have to delve into too many spoilers about a game I really wish more people would check out.

[sorcerersofnyc]

The Last Thing Left (Zemo x F!Reader) 2/9

If it wasn’t so painfully ironic (and hilarious to watch,) Helmut would find the relationship between Sam and James a little sad.

Ghosts weren’t enough to hold two people together.

Chapter 2: While they wait for Torres to locate Donya Madani, Zemo brings Sam and Bucky to the home you shared.

Slow burn, previous relationships, angst, various mentions of death & mourning. You both lost your spouse. You're a regular civilian person. Zemo's wife's name is Heike because of comics. The reader likes waffles (this is a non-negotiable fact)

Did I set this whole story in Spain because of Daniel Brühl? Yes, I did. The most impactful dialog has been translated.

Note: Main Character is neutral in most regards but the story was written with my own cultural background in mind. (In other words, I won't say what she looks like but I envision her as being black.)

First Chapter | Previous

***

The plane lands mid-morning near the Bay of Biscay.

Thin clouds give form to the blue sky above them, gathering to shield the world from the worst of the heat. It’s a lovely day , Helmut thinks, even as the smell of jet fuel lingers pungently in the air.

As he drapes his coat across his forearm and Sam and James stretch their limbs. But as a middle-aged woman struts. across the airfield to greet them, they’re attentive, alert.

“¡Hola señor. Es bueno verte otra vez.” She gives Helmut’s hand a gentle squeeze, her voice heavy with relief.

“Hola vieja amiga. ¿Recibiste los artículos que pedí?”

“Sí Sí. Las flores y los gofe se enviaban antes de su llegada.” She nods and sends a knowing glance his way before adding, “Y tu coche te está esperando.”

“Muchas gracias,” Helmut replies.

The woman takes a step back to acknowledge his company. Sam gives the woman a polite smile and James acknowledges her presence with a nod.

“There’s a car waiting for us,” Helmut tells them. “Come with me.”

“Man, how many people work for you anyway?” Sam asks, looking back at the plane, watching as Oeznik descends the stairwell and the woman waves over the maintenance crew.

“Very few really,” Helmut says. James scoffs at his reply.

But true to his word, a car waits on the street; a dark classic model, freshly polished with wide leather seats.

“Gentleman,” Helmut gestures toward the car you sent, “our carriage awaits.”

It was hardly discreet, but that was the point.

You did exactly as he asked.

***

When he promised to take care of you, you rejected out of a sense of humility. Humility, however, could not ensure your survival, let alone your well-being.

Simply put, you had nowhere else to go. The long shadows cast by the sunset cast over your face, highlighting all of your tired, tear-streaked features. But when you looked at him, there was recognition in your gaze, an acknowledgment of the grief that sat between you like a weight.

“I… I appreciate it, thank you.” You sniffed, “And I… I’ll be there for you too.”

He guided you away from your husband’s grave a moment later, vowing he would find you a better tomorrow.

*

There was no helping Sokovia; war and dissension plagued its streets long before Ultron. So Helmut gathered what he could from the rubble of his father’s home and made arrangements for a jet to be ready at the nearest functioning airport.

The airport was a dome of steel. Its once white titles were scuffed and crowded with people taking shelter and vying for seats on commercial flights.

You were quiet, your eyes glued to the broadcast showing on nearly every TV. There was a video playing, some newly uncovered camera footage of Novi Grad being lifted in the air.

“Come on,” he told you, leading you away with his hand upon your shoulder. You didn’t have much, not physically, just a duffle of what you salvaged from your home and the letter Dominik carried.

Oeznik was waiting in front of the plane, and it relieved Helmut to see him. His faithful butler had been on vacation in Belgium with his family, but once he saw what became of Novi Grad, he came back early.

“It’s glad to see you in good health, Sir.” He said.

“Thank you, Old Friend.”

They kissed cheeks and Helmut escorted you inside the plane, which carried the distinctive smell of cleaning supplies though neither said a word about it.

It wasn’t until you reached the cloudless blue sky that you spoke of what you saw.

“I was in the city that day,” you told him. “I was saved but… I don’t remember how I reached the boat to the helicarrier.” Confusion colored your expression, entangled with sorrow and relief.

Your eyes met his and flickered away just as quickly as guilt—survivors’ guilt—overtook you. He’s seen that look on far too many times on the faces of the soldiers he commanded not to know what that look was. “It happened so suddenly,” You continued, “I was on the ground and then… I was there. It was like someone picked me up and… I was just...there, on the boat with the others.”

“You were rescued by one of the Avengers?” Helmut leaned forward in his seat. “Thor maybe?”

“It must have been, but I don’t recall him being capable of such a thing.” You looked down at your feet.

“We didn’t think them capable of many things.” If there was an edge to his voice, you didn’t seem to notice or care. He continued. “The very idea of the Avengers has always been troubling; they’ve become idols, icons, something more than human. We are meant to forget their flaws and the destruction left in their wake. Remember New York? London? Washington D.C? Did we not watch the Hulk rampage through Johannesburg mere days before Sokovia was destroyed? It was always a mistake, allowing them to act freely.”

You looked at him then, your head tilted to the side in contemplation, taking in all he had to say.

“Has anyone said where Ultron came from yet? No one seems to know if he is an alien or some sort of rogue government experiment.”

“No. But one thing is clear; so long as the Avengers exist, someone will rise to challenge them; They will fight, and Sokovia will not be the last place they bring to ruin.”

You nodded, consciously or not he didn’t know, but on some level, you agreed.

***

Helmut’s thoughts are interrupted when the car turns onto a street lined with elegant townhomes with low-pitched roofs.

James breaks the silence that settled between the three.

“Where are we going?”

“My home.” He announces as the car stops before a large house made of grand arched windows and a sand-colored stone.

“Is this where you lived when you were plotting against us?” Sam sends him an incredulous look, as though the idea of stepping into his home offended him somehow.

“My home in Sokovia was destroyed, Sam. I needed to live somewhere—but yes,” Helmut shrugs, “you’re exactly right.”

“Oh great,” James mutters, but Helmut pays him little mind.

Two columns embrace the grand archway that sits above the ornately carved wooden door.

Upon it he knocks loudly, ignoring the questioning looks he gains.

He waits.

The air is dry and his attention drifts toward a fallen leaf on the pavement; it’s deep green and browning at the edges, its middle eaten through by an insect. The leaf skitters away when the door flies open and he’s forced to confront his worry.

He looks at you. You stare at him in disbelief. The world falls away into nothing.

“Helmut,” you finally say, breathing his name out in relief. “Estás de vuelta.” You’re back.

Your hands are trembling as they reach for him, as your thumbs brush across the curve of his cheek.

For so long your face was but a fragmented memory, your voice the chorus of a song. Only now, as you stand before him, are you complete. You smile.

“Sí, estoy en casa ahora mi amiga.” Yes, I’m home now my friend.

He touches his hand to your own, basking in the simple joy of your touch.

But then you glance behind him, your eyes narrow and the moment ends.

“Helmut! “You hiss. “¿Has traído a los Avengers a mi casa? ¡Por qué!”

Sam and James exchange glances. Whether either spoke Spanish is a matter of speculation, but they surely recognized the name of their allies.

“I’ll explain everything once we settle in.” He raises his palms in surrender to you, looking for all the world like a man abdicating his control.

You don’t move.

“I would like to see the paintings you mentioned in your letters.”

Your scowl deepens, your stare sharpening to a knifes-edge.

“I promise to have a good explanation.”

Finally, you step aside, ‘come in’ you say, and Helmut leads Sam and James further inside. The two have been quiet so far, observant of their new surroundings. He can’t be sure what they assume is happening, but Sam thanks you as he passes. James nods but says nothing.

The house is just as lovely as he remembers it to be; tall white walls, polished tile, an overabundance of lamps, and a painting on every wall. He never agreed with your sense of design but the home was undoubtedly welcoming.

“Make yourself at home,” you lead them inside, into the parlor where a fresh bouquet of thick-stemmed roses sits in a vase beside the entryway.

The rest of the room is familiar to him; red cushioned seats and glass-top tables, and rugs that sit just so beside the bookcase.

He briefly wonders where Anežka, your young housekeeper, is. The paper cranes she’s so fond of sit artfully on the shelves but there’s no evidence of her presence there.

You must have given her leave in anticipation of your meeting, he reasons.

You wanted to be alone with him.

His heart swells at the thought of what you might have done together.

Unfortunately, he sighs, Helmut isn’t alone with you. So instead of the immeasurable amount of fun his mind conjured, he watches you look between your guests—Sam, then James, then Sam again.

“I believe introductions are in order,” He finally announces, draping his coat across the back of his favorite chair.

“Yeah. That would be nice,” Sam retorts. He lingers near the entryway, unsure of the space. “Is this really your house?”

“It is. Well, it was. It now belongs to my lovely associate, gifted to her before I left on my mission.”

“Your mission,” James scoffs. He leans back against the wall near the bookcase, fixing him with a heavy stare.

You skirt the moving to stand at Helmut’s side as you wait for his promised explanation.

“Sam, James,” He calls for their attention, “This is my partner,” he tells them, introducing you by name.

***

Thanks for Reading!

I debated the ending for quite a while. It changes the initial trajectory of the story but it provides for a dramatic ending. Next time, we'll see how your relationship with Zemo changed from persons with mutual friends to 'partners.'

There's a deleted scene that I'll post as a special chapter soon!

Taglist:

@actuallyanita

@fillechatoyante!

Previous | Next

[nealiios]

The Supernatural 70s: Part I - Corruption of An Innocent

"We're mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us - we're soldiers writers."

-- with apologies to the screenwriter of "Stripes"

Dear reader, I have the darkest of revelations to make to you, a truth when fully and wholly disclosed shall most assuredly chill you to the bone, a tale that shall make you question all that you hold to be true and good and holy about my personal history. While you may have come in search of that narrative designer best known for his works of interactive high fantasy, you should know that he is also a crafter of a darker art, a scribbler of twisted tales filled with ghosts, and ghouls, and gargoyles. I am, dear innocent, a devotee of horrors! Mwahahahaha!

[cue thunderclap, lightning, pipe organ music]

Given the genre of writing for which most of you know me, I forgive you if you think of me principally as a fantasy writer. I don't object to that classification because I do enjoy mucking about with magic and dark woods and mysterious ancient civilizations. But if you are to truly know who I am as a writer, you must realize that the image I hold of myself is principally as a creator of weird tales.

To understand how and why I came to be drawn to this sub-genre of fantastic fiction, you first must understand that I come from peculiar folks. Maybe I don't have the Ipswich look, or I didn't grow up in a castle, but my pedigree for oddity has been there from the start. My mother was declared dead at birth by her doctor, and often heard voices calling to her in the dead of night that no one else could hear. Her mother would periodically ring us up to discuss events in our lives about which she couldn't possibly have known. My father's people still share ghost stories about a family homestead that burned down mysteriously in the 1960s. Even my older brother has outré memories about events he says cannot possibly be true, and as a kid was kicked off the Tulsa city bookmobile for attempting to check out books about UFOs, bigfoot, and ESP. It's fair to say I was doomed - or destined - for weirdness from the start.

If the above listed circumstances had not been enough, I grew up in an area where neighbors whispered stories about a horrifically deformed Bulldog Man who stalked kids who "parked" on the Old North Road near my house. The state in which I was raised was rife with legends of bigfoots, deer women, and devil men. Even in my childhood household there existed a pantheon of mythological entities invented explicitly to keep me in line. If I was a good boy, The Repairman would leave me little gifts of Hot Wheels cars or candy. If I was being terrible, however, my father would dress in a skeleton costume, rise from the basement and threaten to drag me down into everlasting hellfire (evidently there was a secret portal in our basement.) There were monsters, monsters EVERYWHERE I looked in my childhood world. Given that I was told as a fledgling writer to write what I knew, how could anyone have been surprised that the first stories I wrote were filled with the supernatural?

"The Nightmare" by John Henry Fuseli (1781)

My formative years during the late sixties and early seventies took place at a strange juncture in our American cultural history. At the same time that we were loudly proclaiming the supremacy of scientific thought because we'd landed men on the moon, we were also in the midst of a counter cultural explosion of interest in astrology, witchcraft, ghosts, extra sensory perception, and flying saucers. Occult-related books were flying off the shelves as sales surged by more than 100% between 1966 and 1969. Cultural historians would come to refer to this is as the "occult boom," and its aftershocks would impact popular cultural for decades to come.

My first contact with tales of the supernatural were innocuous, largely sanitized for consumption by children. I vividly remember watching Casper the Friendly Ghost and the Disney version of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow. I read to shreds numerous copies of both Where the Wild Things Are and Gus the Ghost. Likely the most important exposure for me was to the original Scooby Doo, Where Are You? cartoon which attempted to inoculate us from our fears of ghosts and aliens by convincing us that ultimately the monster was always just a bad man in a mask. (It's fascinating to me that modern incarnations of Scooby Doo seem to have completely lost this point and instead make all the monsters real.)

ABOVE: Although the original cartoon Scooby Doo, Where Are You? ran only for one season from 1969 to 1970, it remained in heavy reruns and syndication for decades. It is notable for having been a program that perfectly embodied the conflict between reason and superstition in popular culture, and was originally intended to provide children with critical thinking skills so they would reject the idea of monsters, ghosts, and the like. Ironically, modern takes on Scooby Doo have almost entirely subverted this idea and usually present the culprits of their mysteries as real monsters.

During that same time, television also introduced me to my first onscreen crush in the form of the beautiful and charming Samantha Stevens, a witch who struggles to not to use her powers while married to a frequently intolerant mortal advertising executive in Bewitched. The Munsters and The Addams Family gave me my first taste for "goth" living even before it would become all the rage in the dance clubs of the 1980s. Late night movies on TV would bring all the important horror classics of the past in my living room as Dracula, Frankenstein, the Wolf Man, the Invisible Man, the Phantom of the Opera, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and Godzilla all became childhood friends. Over time the darkened castles, creaking doors, foggy graveyards, howling wolves, and ever present witches and vampires became so engrained in my psyche that today they remain the "comfort viewing" to which I retreat when I'm sick or in need of other distractions from modern life.

ABOVE: Elizabeth Montgomery starred in Bewitched (1964 - 1972) as Samantha Stephens, a witch who married "mortal" advertising executive Darren Stephens (played for the first five seasons by actor Dick York). Inspired by movies like I Married a Witch (1942) and Bell, Book and Candle (1958), it was a long running series that explored the complex relationship dynamics between those who possess magic and those who don't. Social commentators have referred to it as an allegory both for mixed marriages and also about the challenges faced by minorities, homosexuals, cultural deviants, or generally creative folks in a non heterogeneous community. It was also one of the first American television programs to portray witches not as worshippers of Satan, but simply as a group of people ostracized for their culture and their supernatural skills.

Even before I began elementary school, there was one piece of must-see gothic horror programming that I went out of my way to catch every day. Dark Shadows aired at 3:30 p.m. on our local ABC affiliate in Tulsa, Oklahoma which usually allowed me to catch most of it if I ran home from school (or even more if my mom or brother picked me up.) In theory it was a soap opera, but the show featured a regular parade of supernatural characters and themes. The lead was a 175 year old vampire named Barnabas Collins (played by Johnathan Frid), and the show revolved around his timeless pursuit of his lost love, Josette. It was also a program that regularly dealt with reincarnation, precognition, werewolves, time travel, witchcraft, and other occult themes. Though it regularly provoked criticism from religious groups about its content, it ran from June of 1966 until it's final cancellation in April of 1971. (I would discover it in the early 1970s as it ran in syndication.) Dark Shadows would spin off two feature-length movies based on the original, a series of tie-in novels, an excellent reboot series in 1991 (starring Ben Cross as Barnabas), and a positively embarrassingly awful movie directed by Tim Burton in 1991.

ABOVE: Johnathan Frid starred as Barnabas Collins, one of the leading characters of the original Dark Shadows television series. The influence of the series cannot be understated. In many ways Dark Shadows paved the way for the inclusion of supernatural elements in other soap operas of the 1970s and the 1980s, and was largely responsible for the explosion of romance novels featuring supernatural themes over the same time period.

While Dark Shadows was a favorite early television program for me, another show would prove not only to be a borderline obsession, but also a major influence on my career as a storyteller. Night Gallery (1969-1973) was a weekly anthology television show from Rod Serling, better known as the creator and host of the original Twilight Zone. Like Twilight Zone before it, Night Gallery was a deep and complex commentary on the human condition, but unlike its predecessor the outcomes for the characters almost always skewed towards the horrific and the truly outré. In "The Painted Mirror," an antiques dealer uses a magic painting to trap an enemy in the prehistoric past. Jack Cassidy plots to use astral projection to kill his romantic rival in "The Last Laurel" but accidentally ends up killing himself. In "Eyes" a young Stephen Spielberg directs Joan Crawford in a story about an entitled rich woman who plots to take the sight of a poor man. Week after week it delivered some of the best-written horror television of the early 1970s.

In retrospect I find it surprising that I was allowed to watch Night Gallery at all. I was very young while it was airing, and some of the content was dark and often quite shocking for its time. Nevertheless, I was so attached to the show that I'd throw a literal temper tantrum if I missed a single, solitary episode. If our family needed to go somewhere on an evening that Night Gallery was scheduled, either my parents would either have to wait until after it had aired before we left, or they'd make arrangements in advance with whomever we were visiting to make sure it was okay that I could watch Night Gallery there. I was, in a word, a fanatic.

ABOVE: Every segment of Night Gallery was introduced by series creator Rod Serling standing before a painting created explicitly for the series. Director Guillermo del Toro credits Serling's series as being the most important and influential show on his own work, even more so than the more famous Twilight Zone.

[somegirlsnerdywords2]

Anime i’ve Watched

That begin with a N (Part 2)!

Yep this is how i’m going to bring over all the anime and manga i’ve watched and posted about on the old blog. It’s not so detailed but it will have to do. Anything new I watch or read from this point on will have their own posts.

Net-juu no Susume  (Recovery of an MMO Junkie):

Genres: Game, Comedy, Romance, ONA 

Synopsis:  For the first time since graduating high school, 30-year-old Moriko Morioka is unemployed—and she couldn't be happier. Having quit her long-standing job of over 11 years, Moriko quickly turns to online games to pass her now-plentiful free time, reinventing herself as the handsome and dashing male hero "Hayashi" in the MMO Fruits de Mer. With the pesky societal obligations of the real world out of the way, she blissfully dives headfirst into the realm of the game, where she promptly meets the kind and adorable healer Lily. Befriending each other almost instantly, the two become inseparable just as Moriko herself becomes more and more engrossed in her new "life" as Hayashi. Eventually, Moriko adopts the reclusive lifestyle in its entirety, venturing out from the safety of her apartment only when absolutely necessary. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Moriko, a timid 28-year-old corporate worker named Yuuta Sakurai has also logged onto Fruits de Mer from the other side of town. Coincidentally bumping into each other at the convenience store one night, both write off their meeting as no more than just another awkward encounter with a stranger—however, fate has more in store for them than they think. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2017 with a total of 10 episodes

My Thoughts: The male lead wears glasses! In case that’s something anyone but me cares about... Aside from that I can’t remember much about this one which is never a sign of an amazing anime so it’s up to you friends! Will you watch it or leave it?! 

Nijiiro Days:

Genres: Comedy, Romance, School, TV Short, Shoujo, Slice of Life

Synopsis:  Nijiiro Days follows the colorful lives and romantic relationships of four high school boys—Natsuki Hashiba, a dreamer with delusions of love; Tomoya Matsunaga, a narcissistic playboy who has multiple girlfriends; Keiichi Katakura, a kinky sadist who always carries a whip; and Tsuyoshi Naoe, an otaku who has a cosplaying girlfriend. When his girlfriend unceremoniously dumps him on Christmas Eve, Natsuki breaks down in tears in the middle of the street and is offered tissues by a girl in a Santa Claus suit. He instantly falls in love with this girl, Anna Kobayakawa, who fortunately attends the same school as him. Natsuki's pursuit of Anna should have been simple and uneventful; however, much to his dismay, his nosy friends constantly meddle in his relationship, as they strive to succeed in their own endeavors of love. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2016 with a total of 24 episodes. Each episode running about 13 minutes in length. 

My Thoughts: Love the manga, which I keep meaning to finish because it is a completed title... and I should probably finish it before manga gets even harder to find online with the way things are currently going... 

Anywho, the anime! Pretty good. The episodes are about half that of a normal anime but you have a 24 episode count so it’s basically the same as having a 12 episodes run with the usual running time!  I’d watch it is you want more content after the manga, but keep in mind that the anime does not cover the entirety of the manga! 

No Game No Life:

Genres: Game, Adventure, Comedy, Supernatural, Ecchi, Fantasy

Synopsis:  No Game No Life is a surreal comedy that follows Sora and Shiro, shut-in NEET siblings and the online gamer duo behind the legendary username "Blank." They view the real world as just another lousy game; however, a strange e-mail challenging them to a chess match changes everything—the brother and sister are plunged into an otherworldly realm where they meet Tet, the God of Games. The mysterious god welcomes Sora and Shiro to Disboard, a world where all forms of conflict—from petty squabbles to the fate of whole countries—are settled not through war, but by way of high-stake games. This system works thanks to a fundamental rule wherein each party must wager something they deem to be of equal value to the other party's wager. In this strange land where the very idea of humanity is reduced to child's play, the indifferent genius gamer duo of Sora and Shiro have finally found a real reason to keep playing games: to unite the sixteen races of Disboard, defeat Tet, and become the gods of this new, gaming-is-everything world. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 7/10

Finished airing in 2014 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: I have a laundry list of things i’m meaning to watch, read or do. Watching the No Game No Life movie on Netflix is one of those things. Anyways! I recall this one being alright, nice art/ animation/ character design and an interesting premise but too short and underdeveloped. One of those animes that may have benefited greatly from a longer run or second season. 

No.6:

Genres: Action, Sci-fi, Mystery, Drama

Synopsis:  Many years ago, after the end of a bloody world war, mankind took shelter in six city-states that were peaceful and perfect... at least on the surface. However, Shion—an elite resident of the city-state No. 6—gained a new perspective on the world he lives in, thanks to a chance encounter with a mysterious boy, Nezumi. Nezumi turned out to be just one of many who lived in the desolate wasteland beyond the walls of the supposed utopia. But despite knowing that the other boy was a fugitive, Shion decided to take him in for the night and protect him, which resulted in drastic consequences: because of his actions, Shion and his mother lost their status as elites and were relocated elsewhere, and the darker side of the city began to make itself known. Now, a long time after their life-altering first meeting, Shion and Nezumi are finally brought together once again—the former elite and the boy on the run are about to embark on an adventure that will, in time, reveal the shattering secrets of No. 6. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2011 with a total of 11 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Just read the manga and watch this as extra, I can’t remember if the anime covered the entirety of the manga’s story but either way check out that source material first! The manga series is also completed which is a huge bonus. High point: The relationship between the two leads. 

Noragami:

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Supernatural, Shounen

Synopsis: In times of need, if you look in the right place, you just may see a strange telephone number scrawled in red. If you call this number, you will hear a young man introduce himself as the Yato God. Yato is a minor deity and a self-proclaimed "Delivery God," who dreams of having millions of worshippers. Without a single shrine dedicated to his name, however, his goals are far from being realized. He spends his days doing odd jobs for five yen apiece, until his weapon partner becomes fed up with her useless master and deserts him. Just as things seem to be looking grim for the god, his fortune changes when a middle school girl, Hiyori Iki, supposedly saves Yato from a car accident, taking the hit for him. Remarkably, she survives, but the event has caused her soul to become loose and hence able to leave her body. Hiyori demands that Yato return her to normal, but upon learning that he needs a new partner to do so, reluctantly agrees to help him find one. And with Hiyori's help, Yato's luck may finally be turning around.

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2014 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Yes! Watch it! Love it! And also read it. Big downside: The updates for this manga are slow and the story is unfinished obviously. Upside: Two whole seasons of anime goodness, and if we’re really lucky we’ll eventually get another? Ok maybe not... but a girl can dream! Also this anime has one of my all time favourite opening themes! Amazing! 

Noragami Aragoto:

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Supernatural, Shounen

Synopsis:  Yato and Yukine have finally mended their relationship as god and Regalia, and everyone has returned to their daily life. Yato remains a minor and unknown deity who continues taking odd jobs for five yen apiece in the hopes of one day having millions of worshippers and his own grand shrine. Hiyori Iki has yet to have her loose soul fixed by Yato, but she enjoys life and prepares to attend high school nonetheless. Taking place immediately after the first season, Noragami Aragoto delves into the complicated past between Yato and the god of war Bishamon. The female god holds a mysterious grudge against Yato, which often results in violent clashes between them. It doesn't help that Bishamon's most trusted and beloved Regalia, Kazuma, appears to be indebted to Yato. When lives are on the line, unraveling these mysteries and others may be the only way to correct past mistakes. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 9/10

Finished airing in 2015 with a total of 13 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Another amazing opening theme! Seriously this series really knew how to pick them! Also have crushes on a solid chunk of the cast... so there’s that. 

[ygocollablove]

@augustwritingchallenge‘s 2020 monthly prompts have come to a conclusion, and YGO Collab Love would like to present all its members who participated this year!

Before that, I would like to give thanks/applause to @cieryuu for creating the banner above (and another round to @darkmagiattack/@crshrs for making the template). Look how adorable it is! <3

There are many pieces still in progress even after the challenge’s end day, and we are excited for the day that the fics will all come to completion. Otherwise, please give love and comments and feedback to the pieces listed below!

For Art submissions...

scemo vampire yami Bakura by @crshrs Vampire AU Rating: Teens and Up Blood warning

For General Audiences...

Step One College, Step Two Take Over the World by Souless_Robot ( @soulessrobot ) Status: COMPLETE College AU Characters: Chazz Princeton & Ojama Brothers Summary: “Step one: get into Neo Domino University,” Chazz lifted one finger and waved it in his spirit partners’ faces. “Step two: get a Ph.D. in dueling. Step three: get hired to teach at Duel Academy. Step four: take over the school.”

Dueling Royalty by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Modern AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Kaiba will block you on Twitter.

Diagnostic Don’ts by Souless_Robot Status: COMPLETE Hospital AU Characters: Jack Atlas, Seto Kaiba, Alexis Rhodes, Duke Devlin, Atem Summary: Dr. Seto Kaiba very much does not want any fellows in his diagnostic department. Unfortunately the hospital administrator Atem has different ideas. That's how Kaiba ends up with three fellows in his office. It's a good thing Kaiba doesn't plan to keep them for very long. He'll bet Wheeler he can get them to quit by the end of the week.

Mr. Jounouchi Will See You Now by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Role Reversal AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: The CEO of Jounouchi Corp. is known for being charming and lucky—not just a shrewd businessman who bravely took over the company for his alcoholic dad. Seto Kaiba is a bright kid who really needs to pay for his brother’s eye surgery.

Succ's to be You. by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Flower Shop AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Kaiba is the worst at office plants.

For Teens and Up...

Cafe Nervosa by Elexica ( @elexica ) Status: COMPLETE Coffee Shop AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Good morning, Domino! Dr. Seto Kaiba runs a call-in psychiatry radio show, and whether he wants to or not, he's listening. His sound engineer, Joey Wheeler, unfortunately has to listen too.

All the King's Men by Souless_Robot Status: COMPLETE Soulmate AU Pairing: Rivalshipping (Chazz Princeton x Jaden Yuki), Spiritshipping (Jesse Anderson x Jaden Yuki), Supreme King x Chazz Princeton Summary: Or Chazz is the Supreme King's soulmate but not Jaden's.

Wasted by Elexica Status: COMPLETE College AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Kaiba gets drunk at Mokuba's fraternity initiation party and does the cute orientation leader's calculus homework. He's bad at flirting, but he's good at math.

Blank Slate by KitsunePhantom09 ( @kitsunephantom09 ) Status: COMPLETE Soulmates AU Pairing: Kingcrabshipping (Jack Atlas x Yusei Fudo) Summary: Everyone has a mark signifying their soulmate. Yusei doesn't.

The Voice in My Head by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Soulmates AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: The month leading up to when you meet your soulmate is the only period in your life where you will hear another voice in your head, their thoughts streaming through your mind. For Jounouchi, it's hell.

Demon Days by Souless_Robot Status: COMPLETE Angels & Demons AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Joey never meant to be permanently assigned to earth after the events that take place in the Garden of Eden. Still, now that he is he really wishes he would stop running into his least favorite demon. Unfortunately, it seems the creator has other plans.

Cancelling the Apocalypse by Elexica Status: ONGOING Chapters 1/3 Post-Apocalyptic AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Are Joey and Kaiba drift compatible?

Straight to the Top by Souless_Robot Status: COMPLETE Band AU Characters: Joey Wheeler, Seto Kaiba, Yuugi Mutou, Chazz Princeton, Jaden Yuki Summary: Joey is a folk singer trying to break into the mainstream with her childhood friend Yugi. Too bad she gets nothing but problems most from the Kaiba corp record label run by the young CEO and music prodigy Seto Kaiba.

A Good Match by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Superheroes/Superpowers AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Or, Kaiba and Jounouchi can't wait for the whistle to start fighting.

Good Eggs by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Farm/Ranch AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Kaiba is forced to work as a farmhand the summer before college. Joey doesn't mind the company.

Mercy by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Crime AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Kaiba's a bit tied up at the moment.

Who You Gonna Call by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Treasure Hunters AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Ghost hunter Joey and skeptic Kaiba enlist Yugi's help in answering the question: Are ghosts real?

For Mature audiences...

And Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.” by KitsunePhantom09 Status: COMPLETE Vampire AU Characters: Yusei Fudo Summary: Rule #1: Never answer when you hear them knocking.

Dark Web by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Pirates AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: You wouldn't download a car. Kaiba would.

The line that stands between us is 100 lives worth living by SwordsAndSwongs ( @blue-eyed-priest ) Status: ONGOING Chapters 8/32 Pairing: Prideshipping (Seto Kaiba x Atem), Rivalshipping (Kaiba x Yuugi Mutou), Stoicshipping (Kaiba x Priest Set), and Puppyshipping (Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: In a world full of multiverses, who will Kaiba meet? Is it his Pharaoh, his enemies, his few friends? Or is it himself, waiting at the end of every step taken?

Demon in a Bottle by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Angels & Demons AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Kaiba overdoses.

Addicted (You’re My Favorite High) by KitsunePhantom09 Status: COMPLETE Crime AU Pairing: Kingcrabshipping (Jack Atlas x Yusei Fudo) Summary: Yusei has never felt like this before, and he desperately doesn't want it to end.

Netflix and Chill by auroraXborealis ( @xauroraxborealisx ) Status: ONGOING Chapters 11/? Pairing: Puzzleshipping (Yuugi Mutou x Atem) Summary: When the department of Human Resources from Kaiba Corp decides it is in the company’s best interest to send some of its employees on a team-building seminar for a whole weekend, Atem does not think his bonding experience with his colleagues will turn out to be this intense. Especially when he is thrown into a downward spiral of strange events with the one coworker he dislikes the most: Yugi. Now, they must work together to survive and figure out all the clues to make it back home.

Enemy Fire by KitsunePhantom09 Status: ONGOING Chapter 5/? Pairing: Kingcrabshipping (Jack Atlas x Yusei Fudo) Summary: Jack has just escaped a horrible alpha, but is in dire straits – heavily pregnant and out on the streets in the middle of winter does not bode well. But as his darkest hour arrives, so too does his savior.

Catalysts for Kindling by bewdofchaos ( @atems-leather-pants ) Status: ONGOING Chapters 11/? Pairing: Puzzleshipping (Yuugi Mutou x Atem), Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: In the eight months that Yugi and Atem have been roommates, they have formed a fast friendship over their fondness for coffee, late-night study sessions and video games. But recently, something has not been quite right. When Yugi receives a mysterious parcel, he is sent on an unexpected journey where each new step makes him reconsider everything he ever knew to be true… but mostly his relationship with his roommate.

The Dark Woods Circus’ Monster by KitsunePhantom09 Status: COMPLETE Circus AU Pairing: Kingcrabshipping (Jack Atlas x Yusei Fudo) Summary: Once, the circus was meant to wow and inspire its audience with feats of grandeur. Now it horrifies and terrifies them with unholy creatures of man's own design.

Time to fight fears, for once and for AUll by Seiyofira ( @seiyofira-doesntknowshiet ) Status: COMPLETE Chapters 11/11 Summary: These will be some scattered works for AU-gust 2020, which will either revolve around Yu-Gi-Oh! DM or JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, I will put the used AU prompt as well as either YGO or JJBA at the beginning of each chapter. They do not build a consistent story!

For Explicit audiences...

Forgiveness by KitsunePhantom09 Status: COMPLETE Angels & Demons AU Pairing: Kingcrabshipping (Jack Atlas x Yusei Fudo) Summary: An angel is offered as a sacrifice by a cult to appease their lord.

Scrubs by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Hospital AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: The door to the supply closet doesn't lock, but that doesn't stop Drs. Kaiba and Jounochi from having an intimate moment.

Embrace me, Love. It's been a long day. by Cleopatra ( @writelovetomeempress ) Status: ONGOING Chapters 20/33 Pairing: Flareshipping (Seto Kaiba x Atem x Yuugi Mutou) Summary: Atem is gone, back to the Afterlife when the Ceremonial Duel was complete. A piece of Yuugi's heart went with him. Kaiba, with all his genius and all his tech, has found a way to use the Quantum Cube to claim the victory he was denied. Per a reluctant deal, Kaiba brings Yuugi along. All the bravado in the world couldn't prepare Yuugi for that final goodbye, and with shaky hands, he broke their world completely.

Porcelain Wings and Shattered Dreams by Life_0r_Death ( @life-0r-death ) Status: ONGOING Chapters 11/17 Pairing: Kingcrabshipping (Jack Atlas x Yusei Fudo) Summary: Paradox has come to take his revenge against Yusei Fudo, but a former king will sacrifice himself for the love of the greater good. Too bad sacrificing doesn't mean death, but a perpetual prison of different worlds, different dimensions where Jack gets to witness what could have been.

For fics Not Rated...

Doin’ Time by Elexica Status: COMPLETE Childhood Friends AU Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler) Summary: Joey is trying to get a contraband cell phone in Juvie Hall. Kaiba is a little more ambitious.

A huge round of applause for everyone who participated and who are still fighting the good fight of completing their fics! We hope to join again next year and provide a plethora of amazing YGO-related fics for you all to read! Congratulations everyone!!

[nyrator]

another long vent post about depression/anxiety

extremely depressed tonight

first made the mistake of driving myself to the grocery store at 6pm, first I had to try scraping the ice off the windshield with nothing but a broom and bare hands, then driving itself was nightmareish, the car feels like a death trap to me, very loose and sloppy compared to my last car, so loud and uncomfortable with no audible music to calm my nerves. My eyes have worsened to the point where I can’t see anything at night- glare takes up my whole vision, even with anti-glare shades. I was driving well below the speed limit the entire time and still almost hit three pedestrians who were all recklessly out on the roads in all black for whatever reason. My nerves are completely shot from it, my chest feels like I’m in a vice and can’t breathe, my eyes are wide open and hunched over the steering wheel, and my body feels both like I’m about to wet myself at any moment and that I’m too stiff/tense/frozen to function as a human at all, it’s that fight-or-flight response at its extreme. Meanwhile, my skin must be weak- my knuckles bleed when driving, and my wrists bled just from carrying in bags of groceries.

then getting home and just dealing with personal drama of someone I know who is so depressed and self destructive and too smart to reason with, who refuses/is unable to seek professional help, who just doesn’t understand or just can’t help venting to me nonstop, no matter how much I beg them not to over and over- their life is so terrible that suicide seems like the only option to them, and I don’t want them to do so, but I can’t keep suffering like this either and I feel like the only thing preventing them from doing so, as poor a job as I do as a human being anyway. But I can’t help them if they can’t help themselves, even if they were just ate a bit better, or just had a journal or someone anonymous they could talk to, but it seems inescapable and impossible to change anything and all we do is argue over it until I snap at them to leave me alone. That person is probably reading this right now and probably hating it, but I doubt anyone on this site even knows who they are.

Tuesday morning, I couldn’t sleep at all from anxiety- it was so severe and inescapable, I laid in bed for four hours feeling like I was dying until I was finally able to sleep for two hours. I can’t seem to stay asleep longer than two hours anymore. Was supposed to hang out with friends that day, but between lack of sleep, depression, and my absolute terror at driving in a snowstorm, I ended up just staying home.

Anxiety has gotten so bad again. I know a lot of how the mechanics work behind it, I know a lot of pains are from tension and lack of breathing. But my old coping mechanisms don’t work anymore. I can focus on breathing for several minutes straight and then fall right back into suffocating. Music, counting things, meditating, none of it helps anymore.

One way to describe the feeling of anxiety- it’s kind of like when you fall asleep on your arm, and you feel all the blood rushing back into it and that tingling sensation. Imagine that, maybe a bit less, but throughout your entire body (especially chest), your body is stiff and not numb, and your entire body is vibrating or shivering/shaking or something.

I still spend 16+ hours laying in bed every single day. When I got home from shopping, the walking around (and the stress of driving) was enough to send me straight to bed, I was so tired and weak. It’s probably why I don’t sleep properly, I’m half awake in bed all the time, what need is there for sleep

I have mail I haven’t opened, taxes I still have to do, messes to clean, and don’t care for any of it. Can’t even talk about some things I’ve been doing to myself out of spite or general depression, the way I’ve been abusing. I promise to try not to do anything too crazy or directly harmful, but even then I worry about slipping up- I tried one thing I shouldn’t talk about, which wasn’t too serious, but still seriously concerning how easy it was to try doing

still haven’t contacted a therapist, my fear of calling someone is so strong I can’t overcome it, especially not after just waking up. Talked to some friends, some agree that I should, at least one thinks it’s a waste of time and money- up to $125 per session to just get a glorified phone call thanks to covid restrictions. I just don’t see the point if I’m still stuck in my apartment at my computer, especially if I have an internet addiction already.

The lack of doing anything is driving me insane, I think. I’ve played four single player games in 2020- ACNH, KH MoM, Panel de Pon, and Picross. In terms of things watched on my own, probably just Japan Sinks and whatever else was on Netflix the few months I had it. Don’t feel motivated to play or watch anything anymore, nothing seems interesting, and mostly just do things with friends if at all

Even ACNH, the game I play the most, I barely do anything in it- mostly just get new items from stores, that’s it. My island decorating has come to a hard halt, mostly because I barely have any furniture I’d like to embellish it with, and mainly because I have no ideas to layout most of it

I want to create, but don’t have the energy to make anything at all. Rotten Nyan is still my current goal, but anxiety has made it next to impossible to work on. I’ve tried several times the past few weeks, all met with failure- the anxiety’s too much, half the time I don’t even know what’s causing it, but my body just gets too tense and cramped without even doing anything, and I just can’t breathe at all while working on it.

Thought about making an omake comic for it, then realized what a terrible idea it was, and how hard it is to draw comics in general. Or anything in general. Wrote down the entire comic while laying in bed one day, went to draw it, was unable to, tried making it a yonkoma, gave up, and felt sick thinking of all the gross things in it that I just made a vent description of Middle Lave and just posted that to the RN tumblr instead.

I can’t think of any ideas, I feel like my art has regressed- I’ve taken more shortcuts for the sake of my hands tensing so fast from anxiety, and I’ve gotten decent at drawing middle Lave I feel, but anything besides a character standing is impossible for me- any environments or character interactions that I’d love to do just feel impossible, let alone my inability to write good ones. Anything I try to think of writing-wise always ends up the same gross content that burned into my memories that I just can’t feel comfortable talking about much at all, nor do I think it’s content people want to see at all.

There’s a lot of detailed kind of art I’d like to do. I kind of want to loosen my restrictions on myself and just draw whatever suffering I feel like, maybe once I use the RN twitter more I might get a little more courage to do so. I see many artists draw detailed scenes in single images, and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t capture that feeling.

Part of me feels torn about it being an autobiography for people to relate to, and being a suffering experience for people to find some weird enjoyment out of. I feel like I’ve lost sight of what it was originally meant to be and now just enjoy “bullying” Middle Lave half the time I guess, but unfortunately for me, bullying makes me feel like vomiting and is hard to draw consistently- maybe I’m too nice. I don’t know, I’m just rambling at this point. The comic is still laid out and just meant to explore the life of Lave, but it’s just so hard to work on.

In terms of other things, I have no idea what to do

Vtuber/streaming? Hate my voice, can’t focus on learning what I need for it in terms of rigging and texturing models. I only know the basics of making 3D things and nothing else.

Console art? I already designed all the ones I’m mainly interested in, but like I mentioned before, can’t think of any character interactions at all that I feel like drawing.

Making a game? I know 2k3 well enough to make anything in it event-wise, though never got over my map failings, and I can’t commit to anything long-term. Godot or another program, or programming in general? Good luck.

I just want to make something, work on a project without losing steam or letting anxiety prevent me from learning. Can’t focus on anything long enough to learn it- Japanese, making a game, programming, a new hobby, anything. I just don’t have the drive to do anything and will give up anything I even try to start, so what’s the point in even trying anything. I have books I haven’t read that I’ve been meaning to read for years, and still don’t have an ounce of energy to want to even organize them on their shelf, let alone open it

At the very least, I got my first big commission (second one ever), designing an OC for someone, and it’s going well, though tonight I’ve lost steam to finish it, and I hope I can get it back tomorrow to try to finalize it.

I’ve mentioned it before, but I really wish I just had someone guide me with art- I miss doing those 30 day challenge kind of things, or “send a number/emoji” kind of asks for OCs, but tumblr’s so inactive that I don’t see them on my dash anymore, and don’t know how to even look for them, especially not on sites like twitter these days. Though, the problem is, no one knows exactly what I like, and I feel awful letting people down if they ask for something I don’t want to draw

I can’t focus on exercise long term, and I’m so out of practice that exhaustion is too strong to beat. I’ve been trying to walk up and down on a step stool for exercise to get me back into basic movement, but even that’s too tiring. Want to do it while watching something, then I realize, I don’t watch anything at all, not even youtube, just an occasional artist stream that I mainly chat with rather than watch

I feel like I’m going to collapse if I turn or move too suddenly, and my eyes are absolutely terrible- glasses are okay, but without them I’m completely blind now- not just blind, but it’s like my eyes see at two different angles sometimes, like one is slanted or something, very disorientating.

It’s 7:30AM, and no desire to sleep at all. Terrified of laying in bed and letting anxiety take over me again. Part of me wants to become completely nocturnal and just avoid everyone during the day and just respond to messages in the AM hours, just wake up at midnight each day and avoid dealing with people. Go to sleep when everyone starts to get active and just isolate myself entirely from society.

I feel like I exist with no purpose whatsoever, and it’s driving me insane- not that life is meant to have a purpose, but I could at least be doing something more than laying in bed all day every day for a year

[nix-that-rad-lass]

as much as I enjoy the SAW movies for my horror fix, I have to ask- why is it addicts and struggling mothers that get tortured?

why isn't it the rapists and pedophiles, child molesters and domestic abusers?

even in such a dark franchise, still, women are made out as evil- as though we deserve the pain portrayed in the films. 

the entire concept of SAW was that people who have wasted life, who have fucked up that bad, need to go back and ‘earn’ their right to stay alive... and yet, instead of portraying a punishment, a challenge, an actual fucking character arc, we are shown average men and struggling women brutalized and tortured.

why?

I think its because, even in something as ‘far fetched’ as SAW, something so gruesome that its on the very edge of possible and impossible to exist, that the men behind it still must find a way to hurt women.

they cant do it in real life, so they do it in film.

they don't show rapists and abusers and pedophiles- they show mothers struggling, young addicts, abused kids, youths that have been beaten and broken and turned to dark habits. even some of the most gruesome of movies, literally built upon the concept of ‘you get what you give, and if you give none you get fucked over’ still cant even fathom giving awful men what they deserve. instead they must brutalize women and youths. 

and its successful. its an epitome of horror/slasher and gore films. 

why? why??

because even in fiction men look out for men- a drug addicted woman is somehow more deserving of a slow and painful and arduous death than a child rapist. 

even in fiction, men don't let themselves be seen as evil. we are told the man behind it all- john Kramer- has his own reasons. 

he is selfish. and cruel. and sadistic.

and of all things the creators could have chosen, could have used to at least turn Kramer into a morally grey (rather than psychopathic and evil) character, they chose instead to torture women. because, god forbid, an evil man not look out for others like him.

it’s... its fucking insane.  

Kramer gets to be a whiny ass dickhead with no respect for any life other than his own, and its ‘justified’ because boohoo he had cancer and crashed his car. I don't care what the fuck someone has been through, real or not, hard or easy, nothing excuses vile actions.

Kramer this and Kramer that, he gets to do whatever the fuck he wants and its justified, but he doesn't even have a redeeming quality- he could choose to kidnap and torture rapists and predators, but no, developers of the movie chose to instead fuel that men, no matter how vile, are always redeemable, and women, no matter how graceful and good, always have something inside them worthy of punishment and cruelty. 

and its weird- the movies are 50-50 love and hate. but not for why we think- people love them because its got ‘good motive’ and good design, especially for a ‘low budget’ gore film. and they hate it because it’s a shallow plot, because there is either too much or not enough brutalization. because they characters aren't ‘relatable’ enough.

why aren't they loved for showing the cruelty of some human nature? loved for the realism, the ability to truly make someone gag at the torture? loved for their ability to force the watcher into a sick and twisted empathy?

why aren’t they hated for the obvious bias? the shoddy character development? the shoddy plot, drives, motives, and results? why are they not hated for the justification of mens vile actions, and the torture for women who step out of line? 

the movies failed at what they should have done.

instead of making people question, making people think, making people feel empathy, the creators made one of the best gore franchises, capitalized on it, gave men brutal porn fodder, and encouraged watchers to have decreased empathy for women, POC, and addicts. 

everything about the movies was done wrong.

SAW is a complete and utter disgrace, honestly

and I only like them because they get me to analyze them.  they snap me out of rage. they make me think and feel. 

but no one ever fucking thinks. they take it at face value and internalize the messages, and bam- new, hideous misogyny born from yet another shitty gore film. 

[baglove]

(via cat lovers Pet Bandana by mohammed elhachimi)

funny, cute, fear federal feel feeling few field fight figure fill film final finally financial find fine finger finish fire firm first fish five floor fly focus follow food foot for force foreign forget form former forward four free friend from front full fund future, game garden gas general generation get girl give glass go goal good government great green ground group grow growth guess gun guy hair half hand hang happen happy hard have he head health hear heart heat heavy help her here herself high him himself his, a ability able about above accept according account across act action activity actually add address administration admit adult affect after again against age agency agent ago agree agreement ahead air all allow almost alone along already also although, always american among amount analysis and animal another answer any anyone anything appear apply approach area argue arm around arrive art article artist as ask assume at attack attention attorney audience author authority 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chill out city claire andrews claireandrewss classic clout clout goggles college colour colourful country cowabunga dancing, skeleton dark blue dead head death designs disco dolphin donut doodle dorm down drake dude edm elephant elephants emoji eno equal pay eyes fall fat buddha fist floral flower flowers font four stars fries fruit fry funds fye gd50 girl gang girl girl girls

[kanene-yaaay-o-retorno]

Just like any other night

Kanene’s Notes: Sugar! /0/

Spice! \0\

And everything nice! \0/  

To create the perfect fluff

But Kanene accidentally (unless...)

Added an extra ingredients to the concoction--

Angst!!

*Explosion*

*Evil crackling*

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* This characters don’t belongs to me! Good Omens belongs to the incredible Neil Gaiman and  Terry Pratchett; Aaaand the characters of this fic (and AU) themselves belongs to @10yrsyart

* Read here to know the AU Ducks and Dolphins and click here to see everything cannon about the D+D. It’s  f a n t a s t i c! Reaaad!  ^w^)s2

* I didn’t really asked a permission by myself, but this post kind of give permission to write about the AU? (I really hope so xDDD), so, if you also want to write about them please don’t be ashamed ! (And give credits, pleaaaase! :D)

* Something around 1.200 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* This is not cannon. This idea just came because everytime I thought in a fluff, plots of Az cheering up Crow were all that appeared, soooo I tried to challenge me a little and make the opposite. I hope I managed to demonstrate even a little bit of their personality (and don’t have misunderstanding them) well!

* Fanfic em português brasileiro daqui á pouco Thankys for reading, my lollipops! I hope you enjoy this day! Hug a demon, hug an angel and don’t forget to drink water!! Byeioo!~

                                     [~*~]

Aziraphale is calm, stoic, precise, bold, moralistic, firm, direct and ruthless if necessary. He is also sincere, generous, comprehensive, limpid and kind. He is as a pillar, a base. Something concrete, someone who you can lean on for support, trust, belief.

He knows very well how separate his work from his personal life. His feelings from his mind. He is rational, leaded primary by his brain and not-

And n-not-

(Come on. Control your breath. Control yourself. One… two…three…)

In any way, under absolutely no circumstances by his feeli-

(Focus. Focus on something, something, some- a book! Take one of the books. Right. Very well. Focus!)

…

Damn.

His breath came out a little weaker, shaking. He tightened his grip in the fabric of his pants, closing his blue eyes and trying to focus on his own heartbeat, which seemed to reverberate in his dry throat,  attempting to correct his breathing with its.

Inhaled and exhaled. Inhaled and exhaled. Rested his head against the couch, sinking a little deeper into it. Some part of himself was thankful that it was already night, which meant the bookstore were closed and there was no danger of an incident.

There was no danger.

He settled back a little more on the furniture, held the book again, with a little firmer grip than needed as he readjusted it to a more comfortable position where there would be no danger in his thick, warm tears researching its pages, eventually falling and blurring the words of its lovely sentences.

At least it was night, a night just like any other night bathered in a weather of every other nights where there would be no incidents.

“Angel…?”

… Damn.

Crow approached closer to the upright, perfect posed form, seeking his eyes and staring deeply into them, their gold glittering in the night pitch. Az didn’t tried to hide these vulnerable moments, at least not anymore, but neither did he showed them when they became present. His voice came out a little faltering, yet in the calm and characteristic tune he always had.

“Crow, dear, I thought you were already sleeping.”

“I just woke up for a cup of tea.”

They both knew this was a lie, still none of them really mentioned such information when the one with dark hair as the ebony of the night, a night just as any other one, removed the book of his carefully manicured hands and held them for a moment, intertwining their fingers as he got closer enough to finally entwining him in a hug. He loosened the hold for a brief second, only to position the angel’s head on his shoulder, and then tightly hug him again. It was as he was trying to  show that nothing, on Earth, Hell or Heaven, would be able to hurt the angel without going over him, first.

It might seemed as any other previous hug, if it wasn’t for the fabric of his pajamas getting gradually wetter and the slight shivers and sniffles that slipped from the mouth of the one with blonde, almost white, hair. His cry was silently, and for a light of moment, Crow remembered his own cry, which could be described as any other, just a bit louder and with rumpled clothes.

He shook lightly his head, focusing in the present, in the possibilities, the sentences and words that would be said after the storm. His mind felt lethargic and yet running in full speed almost at the same time. Crow combed Az’s hair and gave small, but big in meaning, pecks in his neck without even noticing.

The time itself lost meaning in this piece of time.

A hand tapped softly his back and his head slightly lifted. It was the signal to break the touch, and it was promptly obeyed.

“Do you want to talk about this?” His voice was a special whisper, packed, designated and delivered to just only one being in the entire universe.

“There is nothing to be said.” Even with everything, his voice still lacked major flaws or slips. It was made of a calm, sad nature. “It is just…” And the owner of hundreds of books, reader for thousands years and maestro of words ended up losing himself in them.

‘It’s just…’  Crow wondered if even the humans, at some point of their existence, could understand all the feelings and sensations between the lines that this phrase could possess.

Probably.

Everyone does, in some way or another, doesn’t it?

The black-haired never paid much attention to time, especially after such thing already fulfilled its basic function of lead him as far as possible from that particular century. However, this day, he almost could see the sand of hourglass pouring grain-by-grain as he let the angel running his fingers through his hair, pressing his back on the blonde’s sweater and stroking the back of the other’s hand with his thumb. His warmth and presence were the necessary reminders that Az needed to focus on the here, in the Bookstore rocked by this ordinary night, and now, with the best company he could ever wish to be.

A piece more of time was spent. Maybe two, three, and perhaps a little more.

…

“We should go out.”

“What are you rambling about, Crow love? We always go out.”

“No. I mean… for something different! Not just a lunch.”

“A day to just wander, you mean?”

“Maybe.” Shrugged, pondering, his tongue absently wriggling in the ar. Az tightened a bit more the touch, feeling lighter as allowed his mind travel and dance between some possibilities for the future meaning of this conversation. “We should make a picnic!”

“A picnic?’

“Yes! In any place, nearby or far away! We could take the food or milacre it there. I can give you a ride.”

His head turned, his heart floating and expanding when he saw that the trail of tears had faded from his husband’s face, and now the red was also beginning to gradually leave his skin.

Az pondered for a few minutes, eyes gleamming.

“I don’t think I’ve ever married at a picnic before.” Smiled, and part of his soul melted with the beauty in the other’s happy expression, along with the smile that also was painted in the demon’s face, he was absolutely sure.

“Let me tempt you, then.” Crow hissed, carrying on their internal joke, since they, after their last wedding-lunch, decided that from now on there would be no more dates, only weddings.

Az raised an eyebrow, giving him a playful disbelief look. Their foreheads met. The angel closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling a light, which came neither from the stars, cars, poles and nor the living room lamp, little by little filling his being.

“I love you, Aziraphale.” Their eyes met.

“I love you too, my husband.”

Perhaps they had spent some time like this, in silence, enjoying themselves. Perhaps they had slowly moved away right after the talk, holding hands, a warm feeling in their chest. Who really knows? It is a moment only for them, so let it be.

“The preparations should be started, then!” The one with blue limpid eyes, now up, excitedly leaded to the kitchen. “Milacre a massive amount of food certainly would alert your side just as mine, so, I believe the best option we got is cook by our own.”

Crow scowled, which evolved to as annoyed expression as received the lightly incisive and inquisitive look from the other, puffing up his cheeks and deviating the glare as he dispirited followed his steps into the other room.

“Fffffffine.” Gave up of the dream to sleep that night. However, deep inside, he knew worth it just to watch the blonde-haired angel calmly, excited walking his eyes and fingers through the Recipe Books were under his care. Urg. The sacrifices that must be made. “But I’m not using a patterned apron!”

And the cars drove through the streets, the stars hardly glowed in the sky and the worlds kept not an even bit silent during that sunless hours, just as any other night of any other day. Nevertheless, on that store, more specifically a Bookstore, at that moment and for those two, maybe this wasn’t a common night anymore, and would definitely lead to a day not even a little ordinary, either.

A recipe book was open, some bright smiles (maybe trying to help the stars?) too.

“Sure, my dear. I would never…” replied Az, trying to decide which color would most highlight Crow’s duck patterned pajamas.

[taww]

First Take Review: Audiovector SR 6 Avantgarde Arreté Speakers

As previously chronicled, a move to a new residence last year challenged my undying devotion to 2-way monitor speakers. Though I had two great ones at my disposal - the Silverline SR17 Supreme and Audiovector SR 1 Avantgarde Arreté - asking these relatively compact speakers to fill a large living space with the weight and scale of a symphony orchestra was unreasonable. I needed something that could move more air, but far too many big speakers I’ve heard sound slow, discombobulated or opaque vs. a quality 2-way. Enter the Audiovector SR 6 Avantgarde Arreté (USD $25,000), which confidently assured me of no such compromises during an audition at Audiovision SF. After a bit of listening to some alternatives and the requisite spousal approval, I traded in the SR 1’s and placed an order for a pair of SR 6 AA in piano black with the intention of keeping these as my long-term reference speakers. I’ve logged about 3 months with them and while they’re still taking their sweet time to break in, it’s time to gut check: are they turning out to be everything I had hoped they would be?

Related Reading

Quick Take: Audiovector R 3 Arreté & SR 6 Avantgarde Arreté

Breaking in a Big Speaker: Week 2 with the Audiovector SR 6

Acoustically Treating Side Reflections: Even Better and Not as Hard as You Think

Design & Setup

IMO this is a gorgeous speaker that looks impressive in a room without being dominating - sleek and elegant, with pleasing proportions and a beautiful finish. While our room is a good size, it is an all-purpose living space for my wife and me plus our two large-ish dogs, and there was no way audiophile speakers with a large footprint or funky aesthetics would ever set foot in our home. The Audiovector was a relatively easy sell to my wife and there have been zero groans or offhand remarks about its size or appearance, which makes it an unmitigated success. The magnetically-attached grills are wonderfully crafted, muting the technical look of the baffle during more casual listening, snapping on and off with precision and sticking together for easy storage. The sound isn't bad with them on either - fractionally less open and bright, which is actually kind of nice for background music.

Full-range speakers can be tricky to position to balance bass response with soundstaging, but in my room I’ve found the SR 6 AA to be very easygoing. Thanks to a combination of front-firing ports, bottom-firing compound woofer and careful bass alignment, they work remarkably well close to the wall. I currently have them with just 50cm (20”) of clearance behind them, and I have yet to pick up on any port noises. Yes, the soundstage would be even deeper if I pulled them out further, but it’s still quite satisfactory and the bass is nicely filled out without any boom whatsoever. As with the SR 1 Avantgarde Arretés, I find the sweet spot to be a bit narrow - sound is good off-axis, but you really need to be centered precisely for the image and soundstage to lock in. This is in contrast to traditional 2-way monitors from e.g. Silverline Audio or Role Audio that disappear in your room with little effort and are fairly forgiving of listening position.

Sensitivity is specified at 92.5dB/watt @ 8 ohms, quite good for a dynamic speaker. Sensitivity ratings can be deceiving (measurement methods are not rigorously standardized) but the SR 6 AA certainly puts out noticeably more sound per watt than the 90.5dB-rated Silverline SR17. I haven't seen an impedance plot or minimum impedance spec but it seems pretty easy to drive, with all of my amps sounding open and unstrained. With pop or orchestral material at moderately high volume levels I could get the bias meter on the Pass Labs XA30.5 to wiggle the tiniest bit, indicating the peaks were surpassing the 30-watt Class A bias range, but just barely. While the speakers can clearly take a lot more power (I would have loved to have the 300wpc Bryston 4B Cubed around), a quality amp of moderate power rating (e.g. 50 watts) but enough current to feed the 4 drivers should have no trouble. The Pass sounded great, I love the 55-watt Valvet A4 Mk.II monoblocks on them, and right now the 50-watt Gryphon Essence is singing away.

The Sound

Listening to the SR 6 AA strikes me as the audio equivalent of stepping into something like a big smooth Mercedes S-class, only to find it as lithe and responsive behind the wheel as a Lotus Elise. But step on the accelerator, and sure enough you will hear and feel the grunt of a big bi-turbo V-12. And most of all, it’s fun. Like a car that beckons you to drive it, there’s an aliveness and energy to the SR 6 that compels you to listen to as much music as possible. I could listen to record after record all day and night and never stop.

Coming back to less-fanciful analogies, I love how the SR 6 has all the coherence, focus and speed of the best 2-way monitors, then adds low-frequency power and dynamic ease without any sort of compromise that I can discern. At first I was a bit concerned with the 350Hz crossover point between midrange and woofer - right in the D to A string range of the violin - but I honestly can not hear it at all. The compound bass system also seamlessly integrates from 80Hz down, and all I hear is a very continuous presentation with consistent speed, articulation and tonality. This is extremely rare in my experience - many big, expensive and elaborate speakers have had some sort of discontinuity that bugged me. 

Coming back to the 2-way comparison, I am missing absolutely nothing about my previous monitor speakers. The SR 6 has even more midrange focus and resolving power than its excellent little sibling, the SR 1 Avantgarde Arreté, while sounding less dry and analytical. Much of this can be attributed to the fullness of the lower midrange which puts more meat on the bones of everything. It’s not overtly warm, but has just the slightest bit of extra juice to give pop tunes great bounce and string sections lovely lyricism. My wife noted that orchestral melodies sounded particularly mellifluous and alluring.

This brings me to another point: the SR 6 simultaneously strikes me as tremendously transparent, neutral and precise, but also possessing character. It's very hard for me to describe it any one way because the common sonic labels - warm, analytical, fast, full, forward, laid-back, smooth, sharp - just won't stick. Depending on the associated gear, setup and recording, any of those above descriptors could be applied to a very subtle degree, but switch up the source material and a different set of adjectives come to mind. Going to another abstract analogy, it reminds me of a delicious mineral water - so clean and crisp and pure, but not totally flavorless. The SR 6 is never bland to my ears; sure, a bad recording still won't sound great, but the presentation never falls flat. It has a fun and engaging take on music, perhaps due to just a hair of judicious boost somewhere in the midrange, that isn't dead-on neutral, but subtle and musically consonant. This is what I find most fascinating about Audiovector's tuning vs. other ultra high-end marques such as Magico or YG Acoustics, which can be breathtakingly transparent to the point of sounding flavorless, and incredibly demanding of source material. In those special moments with the right setup and recording they certainly could scale to greater heights of realism than the SR 6, but the Audiovector just sounds consistently natural and satisfying to me.

A few words on what this speaker is not. While it certainly qualifies as full-range, it does not have an overtly “big” sound. You won’t get the same sort of easy, larger-than-life presentation that a large-woofered speaker in a more classic mold (think a big old JBL with 15” woofers, or a top-end model from PBN or Legacy Audio) will give you. If you want Louis Armstrong to sound like he's sitting in your lap, or you’re trying to reproduce a club environment in your living room, there are better speakers for that. Bass extension is deep and powerful, but the quality of the bass that stands out is that it’s always focused - pitch, timing and weight are precise and balanced. It will convincingly represent a symphony orchestra, and the throbbing bass line of Billie Eilish’s Bad Guy will have you bouncing in your seat, but it’s not shake-your-walls, send-you-into-intestinal-distress kind of bass. It is easily the most detailed and revealing speaker I have had in my room, but it is never hyped-up, instead laying the music out for you to inspect at your discretion. The superb Audiovector AMT tweeter has a lot to do with this - it is free of the typical resonant modes of most dome tweeters and has resolving power well above the audible range, with none of the peakiness of metal domes that can go from vivid to fatiguing over time. There are designs with more natural warmth, that can make a female vocal sound more magically in-the-room and human - Silverline and GamuT are two superb marques that come to mind - but they might not be as neutral and versatile across many genres of music.

The Audiovector is much more precise and adaptable than speakers which blow you away with a particular aspect of their performance. It is the sort of sound that may not stand out as much in 3 minute sound bites at an audio show or dealer, but is more accurate and satisfying in the long term. And I appreciate how it effortlessly fills my open space with sound, but never overpowers it. This is a remarkably lifestyle-friendly speaker by high-end standards and I could see it working very well in a more modestly-sized room, though if you have a small room you are probably better off saving some money on the R 3 Arreté and putting the funds towards upstream gear.

The Take

As you can probably guess, I'm liking the Audiovector SR 6 Avantgarde Arreté a whole lot. A big speaker is always a risky proposition - you never know if it'll work in your room, reproducing a wider range of frequencies means more things to critique and potentially bug you, and of course there's the financial outlay. But so far, other than the need for extended break-in time, there have been zero frustrations and only delights in my experience.

As I write this, I'm listening to a lovely record of Bruckner 9 by the Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra with Daniele Gatti (Qobuz 24/96, Tidal MQA) at moderate volume. And I honestly have nothing to observe or say about the speakers because it just sounds good and right and I'm enjoying the performance. It's a total system effort of course, with contributions from PS Audio, Furutech, Audience and the transcendental Gryphon Essence pre + power amp, but as a music lover first and foremost I can think of no higher compliment for the Audiovector SR 6 Avantgarde Arreté.

[miraculously-dedicated]

Ikari Gozen

🚨 HUGE SPOILER WARNING 🚨

The whole episode was played during the Miraculous Ladybug panel for SDCC so for those that wish to wait for the proper release, I will keep everything hidden under the “keep reading” tab. (it’s going to be super long anyway)

You still here?

Great, LET’S GET INTO IT!

HOLY SHIT I LOVED THIS EPISODE❤❤ (I say that for pretty much almost all episodes but can you really blame me?)

The friendship challenge sounded like a such a cute and cool concept that I personally really liked. Like you know how we have so many National something days that nobody really cares to much to even remember? PARIS DOESN’T HALF-ASS ANYTHING Y’ALL. They take the concepts that TRULY matter and make sure it is celebrated, respected, and appreciated to its fullest. Making sure to remind everyone about what’s truly important, keeping their faith in humanity strong, strengthening the communities bonds, just like in Heroes Day! It’s honestly just such a sweet feeling and I really wish people would talk about this concept more. I can’t wait too see what other fun events the show has planned.

Tomoe continues to be a badass. A good mother? ......UHHHH 😬😬

Aaww, Kagami just wants more friends.

WTF, THEIR CAR??? OKAY THEN. I guess I really shouldn’t be so surprised since they ARE rich. (Especially since Gabriel has a freaking hologram in his car, so that really makes the Tsurugi’s pale in comparison)

Ooooohhh clever girl. I love how both Kagami and Adrien are rebellious against their commanding parents.

“OH NO SHE’S CUTE”-Marinette Dupain Cheng 2019😂

I am Mari in public🤣🤣

“She’s such a weird girl” You’ll get used to it sweetie 

MARINETTE NO, WHY??? COME ON! (She REALLY has serious jealousy issues)

“Okay on second thought, maybe you shouldn’t play the game” YOU AND ME BOTH TIKKI

(No hate towards Marinette, I love her with all my heart, but the girl still has to seriously work on her emotions)

KAGAMI TRYING TO SMILE IS MY FAVORITE (everyone is a constant mood in this show)

I love how there are so many awkward characters, and how the writers did such a good job showing how different characters with different upbringings have different ways of displaying that. Just like with any other emotions or personal issues, it is a wide spectrum and never just one-dimensional thing. I appreciate it so much is because as a very awkward person myself, I can relate. It feels nice to have something like that be acknowledged and positively included and definitely helped boost my confidence when I was younger🥰.

Okay Marinette is definitely 100% me I’m really indecisive as well  

*Kagami listing down Marinette’s traits to determine her blood type*              “Split personality” Excuse me?? The reason it stuck out to me the most is because the definition of split personality is:  Another term for dissociative identity disorder; A rare psychological disorder in which two or more personalities with distinct memories and behavior patterns apparently exist in one individual. In this case the different personalities have no memory or even knowledge of the others existence.                                                                          ...WELL I’m pretty sure Marinette doesn’t have DID but if you think about it... What if Kagami meant it as a, less extreme, figure of speech to describe Marinette’s behavior? Marinette is filled surprises, so much so, that I honestly have a hard time figuring her character out. She may seem like a simple, typical  shoujo-esque character but OH NO MY DUDE. I HEAVILY disagree. (But that’s a different post all together for another day)

“HEY”

Cue montage of Marinette trying to screw everything up but Kagami still wins with ease (aka Chaotic Neutral vs No Bullshit🤣)

“Trust exercise. Exchange unlocked phones with your partner.” OH NO. PHONE THIEF MARINETTE MAKES A COMEBACK

MARINETTE DON’T GO THROUGH HER PHONE

Wait Kagami doesn’t even have Adrien’s contact? And she even searched up how to make friends.  AWW MY POOR LONELY BABY, MUST PROTECT AT ALL COSTS.

Not to mention how proud I was of Marinette for immediately realizing her mistake and wanting to fix everything between the two of them. I will definitely make a future post about the relationship development between Marinette and Kagami, but all I can say now is that there has been HEAVY miscommunication between them up until this moment. Both girls did not have a good impression on the other leading to false interpretations and a overall poor thought of character towards each other. In Marinette’s case, she thought Kagami was full of herself with her bold and and competitive streak, due to her many success in the the past. She thought Kagami literally couldn't care less about others but learned it was quite the opposite. Kagami yearns for friends and companionship but is just awkward at showing it. Learning that, Marinette changes her idea about Kagami completely and wants to make her wish come true.

“Are all humans this noisy?” Marinette just smiles awkwardly. AT LEAST SHE’S SELF-AWARE (Seriously I’m glad their bringing up this unhealthy behavior, my girl needs to CHILL) 

AW NO SHE SAW THE VIDEO, NO BABY, FUCK OFF HAWKMOTH

AH SHIT HER MOM FOUND OUT SHE LIED

MARINETTE IS PROTECTING KAGAMI. 

KAGAMI IS GENUINELY GRATEFUL FOR THAT AND CHEERS UP

I’M GOING TO CRY THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL 

I honestly love how in a second, their relationship took a complete 180. Marinette just suddenly becomes very protective and attentive towards Kagami. She is taking full responsibility of her past actions by genuinely caring for her new friend and the best part is, I think Kagami saw that as well! I love my girls, their friendship is so sweet.

OH MY GOD IKARI GOZEN’S DESIGN IS SICK

Did...Did she just EAT HER DAUGHTER???

WAX ADRIEN MAKES A COMEBACK😂

A movie ticket??

Wait Fu works at the movies???

WAIT HAWKMOTH KNOWS WHO HE IS, WHAT I’M SORRY WHAT ELSE DID WE MISS???????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

HELL YEAH DRAGON KAGAMI FOR THE WIN

Bath-bombs now????

YEET

OKAY I’VE KNOW LONGG FOR LIKE THREE SECONDS AND I ALREADY LOVE THEM

Best transformation phase so far

AAAHHH RYUKO IS LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE HER

AND HER POWERS ARE AWESOME

AND SHE’S SUCH A BADASS I’M IN LOVE💖💖

SHE’S PERFECT

 Ladybug being a true mentor, supporting Ryuuko 😭❤❤

AH SHIT NOT CAT NOIR TOO

Ok that was a really smart plan

“I have good teachers” MY HEART

THE DRAGON MIRACULOUS HAS SUCH COOL POWERS I WANT IT

My new FAVORITE akumas and battle in the show so far 

THAT POUND IT😭😭❤

AH NO PLEASE LET KAGAMI USE THE MIRACULOUS AGAIN IN THE FUTURE

“I don’t have many friends.” “ What matters isn’t having lots of friends, but the ones you do have are true friends.” I SWEAR THIS SHOW IS GONNA KILL ME WITH ITS SWEETNESS. Also I swear, Ladybug proves time and time again she is the emotional support everyone needs.

“The game is over. We lost.” “No. We won the right to get orange juice together! If you still want to that is.”  MARI, YOU’RE AN ANGEL I LOVE YOU💖. Seriously I’m really proud of Marinette for always being so mature at the end of the day. Even when Kagami mentions how Adrien was right about Marinette being a good friend, you can see Marinette was a bit upset over it, BUT she immediately got over it and focused on having a fun time with Kagami. I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS FOR HOW I FEEL AFTER SEEING THAT.

Also the long awaited question since day 1 has been answered. Marinette’s zodiac sign is a snake.

THAT CUTE SELFIE AT THE VERY END

So yeah! That basically summarizes all my (MANY) feelings about this wonderful episode! I loved the theme of friendship, the development between my two best girls, the akuma battle and dragon miraculous, all the asian cultural references, there was just so much to digest. Ikari Gozen was definitely a character heavy episode that adds so much more context and depth to the overall understanding and arcs for both Marinette and Kagami, there is only so much more to go from here! With that said I will definitely do my best to come up with a full blown analysis post for both girls and how their relationship developed and some for Kagami alone as well (Mari too of course, that just might take a bit longer). There is already something I have in the works😉...

[smoothshift]

I bought a 2019 Civic Type-R (Comparisons to other vehicles inside) via /r/cars

I bought a 2019 Civic Type-R (Comparisons to other vehicles inside)

New owner of a 2019 Championship White Civic Type R. Cross shopped this car with a Camaro 2SS 1LE, Bullitt Mustang, Scat Pack Challenger Widebody, Focus RS, and Golf R.

  I'm writing this post because I don't think this is a cross-shop that happens very often (hatchbacks and performance coupes/sedans)... at least in my hunting it didn't seem to. Hopefully people googling something like this in the future will come across this post and find some helpful thoughts. My requirements were that the car fit a cello case and have Android Auto/Apple CarPlay. I'm spoiled, manufacturer infotainment systems are universally garbage compared to Android Auto/Apple CarPlay. My budget was $45k.

  I traded in my 2017 Civic Si Sedan, which I loved, because I was looking for the next step in performance. I only tracked the car a total of 14 times over the course of two years, so I definitely consider myself casual in that regard, but if you are on the fence I strongly recommend getting some track days in. It's some of the most fun I've had in my adult life.

  Cars missing from this test: G70, STI. I refuse to support not putting the manual in the top engine spec for a car, sorry G70. The STI doesn't come with Android Auto, but if that's not a requirement for you I don't blame you for picking up one of these bad boys.

  Onto the comparisons and why I chose the CTR. I'll go in reverse order from cars I felt were the worst to best... except the Camaro which is second due to GM fiat.

  Ford Mustang Bullitt

I've never been more disappointed in a car. From the outside this car is GORGEOUS. To me it is the best looking car of everything I tested. Ford designers knocked it out of the park. This immediately falls away the moment you sit down inside of one.

The interior was worse than my Civic. The seats weren't as comfortable, the buttons were harsh, and the fitment of everything seemed off. The digital dash is fantastic, though.

Then you start the car and you can almost forgive the interior quality. The sound this car makes was also the best of any car I tested. Then you go to shift and the years you've spent with a Honda shifter make you realize how spoiled you are. This way this transmission shifted was terrifying, and I wouldn't be surprised if there aren't failures related to it down the road. Having said that, press your foot on the gas and hear the engine climb to redline... you can almost forget the shifter.

The back seats could actually fit a human being in a pinch, good job there, and I was able to fit a cello case inside when folding the rear seats down. That's all the practicality I needed. Ford's version of comfort mode is great, but there is a LOT of road noise that leaks into the car. The freeway was very loud...

There's a running theme here of ecstasy and disappointment. I couldn't get over the disappointments from this fifty thousand dollar car. I expect more from such a size-able expense. For the people who prioritize looks, sound, power I don't know if there's a competitor outside the Challenger. I can see why it's the best selling pony car in America.

Driving Experience: 8/10

Practicality: 3/10

  Challenger Scat Pack Widebody

Oh man... this car is delicious. I feel like if I ended up in this car I'd move to the South and get the giant flags to attach to my car. My brain shut off when I pressed the pedal. I'm not entirely sure this car should be paired with a 6-speed, or maybe the 1st gear should be made longer. Even with the widebody this thing wants to eat your tires for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I can't even imagine the Hellcat Challenger in a manual... wow. It's also an absolute boat, but it's a great boat!

The interior is... not as bad as the Mustang. Still leaves some question marks on the fitment front. The trunk is GARGANTUAN and so are the rear seats. Will your passengers have to wiggle their way into them because there's only 2 doors? Yes, but they are very usable once inside. Where's my manual Charger :< The sheer amount of space you have, and how quiet it is on the freeway gets big ups from me.

Sound system was the best out of anything I tested. Cello fits. Uconnect is great, and has AA/AC. The manual's gear ratios need to be changed, a burnout a day is not getting positive marks from me.

Driving Experience: 7/10

Practicality: 5/10

  Focus RS

This car is more than the sum of its parts. I hadn't even considered it initially due to ride quality concerns until another of my posts had someone recommend it saying it wasn't so bad.

I'm glad I got to drive it, because it's a blast! The ride quality is indeed as harsh as the reviews say, though. I live in Los Angeles, our roads are garbage (I know yours are worse Michigan). I drive clients in my car sometimes, I don't want them bouncing around too much for the drive that's mostly freeway from LAX to SFV. I'm slightly exaggerating here, but it was too much.

The interior here is nicer than the Bullitt. The sound is worse, but better than the Type R. The shifter is better than the Mustang, but maybe that's due to the engine it's paired with? I only spent 20 minutes with the car, I can't go into as much detail as with the other cars. The car feels like a track weapon, at all times. Which is crazy because it's probably slower than a Bullitt around a track, but it certainly doesn't feel like it.

Cello case fit easily, back seats could fit real humans on a road trip. Drift mode. It's a hatchback, there are perks.

Driving Experience: 8/10

Practicality: 5/10

  Golf R

I'm surprised I didn't choose this car when I consider it from just the exterior. It's professional, well put together, and a jack of all trades. Maybe I should have rated it higher somewhere but I don't know where.

The sound is subdued when it needs to be, it's comfortable on the freeway, when you floor it you grin. People can fit in the back just fine, and it checks every box neatly. How very German!

It's missing emotion? Maybe some steering feel? The car felt like it was holding back, or maybe it was the weight. I don't know. I spent almost three hours with this car. I could see myself taking this to work, taking it to the track, and being pleasantly surprised with just how capable it would be every day.

The Golf R checks all the boxes, and is capability personified. If the R wagon was here I'd have said to hell with "emotion" I'm getting the wagon... but this is just practicality on par with the Type R, while lacking some of the driving character. Or maybe if I lived up north and the AWD was super important to me.

Driving Experience: 7/10

Practicality: 7/10

  Camaro 2SS 1LE

My younger self hates me for not buying this car. Driving this car is an absolute pleasure. As I write this I almost feel regret for not buying it in spite of its shortcomings, but the axe fell. I'll write this so future buyers can save themselves from driving this, falling in love, then having to take it out back.

The sound is a tuning fork next to the ears, while maintaining comfortable noise levels on the freeway. The manual is second only to the Honda. The suspension is actually better than expected when in comfort, and the best in track mode. The pillbox you drive in isn't that bad when you have blind spot monitoring... I could not buy the 1SS 1LE version since it doesn't have the option to add this. Feels criminal. Seats are comfortable, and most of all everything is TIGHT.

Fitment of the interior is great, steering feel is precise, and you can break the back end loose on command... that's probably the greatest thing about this car, the control you feel. I can't talk about it too much, the reviewers have said it enough and they're right. To me there is no car that will give you this level of performance for so cheap. Maybe a used Corvette, but I was buying new.

To answer the question you've all been wondering: will it fit a cello in a case? No. I tried. I tried so hard. I twisted, I turned, I did every trick learned from moving couches through doorways I could think of... but I could not get the thing to fit in the car. Who designed this trunk opening? Kill them. I hate them with a burning passion. El Fin.

Decent sound system. Back seats only for small bags and people you hate. Trunk opening designed by Satan.

I can't put it anywhere but 2nd even if the scoring system I derived says it should be lower. Driving it was that good. Maybe the Driving Experience scale should be adjusted to move everything else down a point or two.

Driving Experience: 10/10

Practicality: 2/10 (+1 because you can throw a couple backpacks in the back seat with a carry on in the trunk)

  Civic Type R

When I set out to purchase the car I had ruled out the Type R because I live in SoCal and I refuse to purchase a car above MSRP. Plus, I wanted to move to an AWD or RWD platform.

To start things off, I bought a Type R for MSRP in Southern California... and from said dealer I also bought paint protection film/tinting. Full disclosure because that's not just the car for straight MSRP. These are things I was going to buy anyways and they priced them at regular local prices, which I know because I had PPF and tinting done by a local shop last go around. If you don't want these things shop around, and don't impulse buy this car. It will take a week or two of waiting, but someone will make a deal with you. Or just go out of state and buy one for MSRP. The road trip back should be a blast.

The steering is fantastic... much better than you'd expect out of a car as high seated as the Civic has gotten. You can definitely tell it's the lightest car of this group because it feels the most "chuckable". ((The Camaro isn't as "chuckable" because I reached the limits of my courage turning this thing in the canyons above SCV before it reached the limit of where it will stop turning in))

Shifting is easy and smooth, but maybe that's because it feels nearly identical to the one in the Si I've become accustomed to. It has 4 doors, the opening in the back when you lift the trunk is cavernous.

The ride in comfort mode is the largest difference from track mode (+R) to comfort out of anything I tested. +R to sport I can hardly tell that much of a difference, but when you click down into comfort some withcraft magic happens, the car gets quieter, and the road noise drops. Ride is still more bumpy than I would hope for, though... I think this comes down to how thin the tires are. Strongly considering a drop to 18" wheels with 275/35 or 255/40 tires. I won't be lowering the car because my driveway is a cliff, a common theme in Los Angeles.

It feels much more spacious than the Golf R when you sit inside it, even though the specs say that isn't true. I'm 6'2" and there's so much headroom compared to my civic sedan I had to laugh. The back seats have plenty of leg room, while being much easier to get into than something like the Challenger. Why are there only 4 seats instead of 5? Whatever. The seats are stellar, though overly bolstered if you are a wider dude. I love that when I'm wearing a helmet, the upper portion of the seat from your shoulders leans back to allow for room. With the helmet on I don't have to slouch forward like I did with the seats in my Si.

Sound system is good, but not as good as the Challenger. For spirited driving +R mode steering/suspension is great, but the Camaro and RS felt better. In comfort mode road noise is third to the Golf R and Challenger, suspension is third to the Challenger and Camaro. With the seats folded down it feels like it has more space than the Golf R even though I don't think that's quite the case.

Driving Experience: 8/10

Practicality: 7/10

  Final note: The looks are very polarizing. They must be, because you get a LOT of stares in this car and a LOT of rev bombs from other drivers. If you want attention get a Type R. Downside is, I don't want attention. Maybe more points for the Golf R should you find yourself in the market. This car is a great car, I can see why reviewers love it so damn much. I smile when I think about driving it, and I can throw a bunch of shit in it for road trips or carpool to work without issue. What more could you ask for?... Chevy SS dreams intensify

  TL;DR: Set out to buy an AWD/RWD car that can fit a cello case, has Android Auto/Apple CarPlay, and costs ~$45k or less. Bought a FWD car because, to me, it's the best blend of fun driving and practicality on the market.