#i made this bc i was bored and now i can't stop laughing at it

[arrowsperpetualcringe]

Fuck you, bicurious Mario

[d10nyx]

bark like you want it !

ft. ryomen sukuna x fem!reader

cw: 18+ content, pet play, true form sukuna, sexual slavery(?) sukuna has a harem p much, degradation, oral(m!recieving), double penetration, p in v, anal, creampie, objectification, size difference, biting, barking, almost soft sukuna for a second, sukuna is his own warning tbh

a/n: idk i'd bark for him.. feedback/rbs always appreciated, esp this one bcs... i felt like he was hard to write and would love any feedback on him :3 this is ONLY smut btw. not proofread.. sorry :/ jjk works now being uploaded to @puppykento

word count: 1.5k words

Sukuna's gaze flicks across the row of kneeling concubines, analysing each of their features to see which one would be most suitable for his needs tonight. As he walks alongside the row of undressed women, he stops occasionally to have a closer look at the ones that particularly interest him. His hands explore them, groping every inch of them before he's lost interest once more, skulking further down the line.

He looks at you curiously once he reaches you, all four eyes trained on your body. He kicks your knees wider apart with a foot, tilting his head.

"You aren't completely hopeless." He says as he examines you, his two lower arms keeping your legs spread as he squats down. One of his other four hands begins to roughly grope one of your tits while his final hand explores between your folds, his fingers gathering up the slick that's begun to drip from you.

“With me, pet.” He orders after a moment, giving you a slight squeeze before standing up. Pet. That was all he had ever addressed any of you as. He did not learn the names of those deemed lesser than him. Your name would never register in his mind - you'd remain another pet for him to use and discard once he was bored. You keep your gaze down as you follow after him, staying quiet. It was best to be obedient when captured by Sukuna - something you had learned after witnessing the many punishments he'd made women endure.

You hadn't been chosen before. You could feel yourself shaking slightly as you were led to his chambers. He sat on the bed with his legs spread, letting his robe fall open. Your eyes widen at the sight, a tremble developing in your hands. You'd heard the stories, but you thought them to be exaggerations.

Sukuna laughs at your reaction, clearly amused. “Impressive, are they not?” He muses, languidly stroking one of his large cocks, his eyes trained on your face. He thumbs over the leaky tip, his grin growing as he watches your gaze trail the movement.

“On your knees, pup.” He waits for you to comply before tugging you even closer by your collar - the only thing you were permitted to wear. He looks down at you, his eyes trailing your form. He slips one of his legs between your thighs, then pushes you down by your shoulder so you're practically seated on his ankle.

“Such a drippy cunt.” He teases, tapping the head of one of his cocks against your lips until you open up, pushing the head past the entrance of your mouth. “Go on, puppy. You look like a bitch in heat. Hump it and show me how badly you want your master.”

He laughs harder when you start to rub your pussy against his leg and desperately try to suck his cock. Your jaw is stretched to the limits to accommodate his girth, and all you can really do is suck on the tip.

“Is that the best you can do?” He grunts, pulling you off his cock with a look of dissatisfaction spreading across his features. “You're more of a dirty mutt than a pup, really. An entirely pathetic little thing. Can't even suck cock right. Are you sure you're one of mine? Usually I have a talent for picking sluts…”

He lets out an exasperated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose like your very existence is an annoyance to him. He clicks his tongue, hoisting you up and onto the bed unceremoniously by your collar. “Not that it matters. A bitch is a bitch. They all take dick the same.”

He has your legs dangling off the edge of the bed, your ass in the air. He settles between your legs, spreading your folds with two thumbs. “Humans are such fragile things.” He murmurs, sounding like he's talking more to himself than he is addressing you. He fucks two fingers into your weeping hole, scissoring them open. “Need to make sure you can take me, little one.”

You hear him spit, a sudden wetness hitting your tighter hole that makes you flinch, your eyes widening. “Don't give me that look, pup. You have two perfectly good holes for my cocks. I'm going to use them.” He grunts, and then he's pushing a finger past the tight ring of muscle.

It takes a while to adjust, your chest heaving with heavy breaths as you grip the sheets beneath you. You open your mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a pathetic whine, your brows pinching together.

“Good dog.” He coos, doing his best to stretch you open. His patience wears thin after a few more moments, and he pulls his hands away from your body, stroking his cocks. “Want a treat, puppy?”

He grabs a handful of your hair and yanks your head, shaking it up and down to mimic a nod. He grins at that, pinching one of your cheeks before he's rubbing the tip of one of his cocks up and down your folds, parting them before he presses his hips forward, filling you up inch by inch.

He bottoms out with a low groan, his hand lazily stroking his second cock as he focuses his eyes on you. “Such a fat pussy, pup. Sucks me in so good…”

He pulls out so just the tip is in, but he doesn't thrust back in like you expect. You make a noise of protest, arching your back and trying to push back against him. “Such a greedy fuckin’ dog. I told you you're taking both my dicks tonight, so be fuckin’ patient while I get it in. I've torn sluts in half before, and I'll do it again.”

Your heart beats faster at his threat, and you instantly still your movements. You feel the head of his cock nudging your ass, and it's not long before he's pushing forward, splitting both of your holes open on his cock. The pain of the stretch has your eyes watering. You feel like it's hard to suck in a breath, your body shaking as the air is fucked out of your lungs.

He's brutal. He doesn't give you a chance to adjust. This isn't for you, after all. You're his pet. His property. He pounds you into the mattress, pulling you harshly into his thrusts with his grip on your hips, using you like a fleshlight.

“Speak, pup.” He hisses through gritted teeth, yanking you back repeatedly as he fucks you on both of his cocks. The nails of his fingers dig harshly into the flesh of your hips, leaving marks in the skin.

“S'good, feels so-” You're cut off as he yanks your hair back painfully, making you yelp. Your body is folded in half, your back arched almost unnaturally as he drags the upper half of your body to be flush against his while he thrusts into you from behind.

“Stupid mutt.” He grunts out, one of his free hands grabbing at your stomach to pull you closer to him. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, biting down harshly. “Dogs don't talk. Try again.”

Heat creeps up your face and neck as you register his command, your heart dropping to your stomach. You bark once, as if just testing the waters. Clearly you've pleased him, cause he moans loudly in your ear and adjusts his hips so he's pounding relentlessly against that gummy spot that makes your stomach tighten up.

“Good… good fuckin’ pup. Just like that. Make some noise f’me.” His thrusts are slow and deep, knocking the air out of you each time he bottoms out. You bark again, and he speeds up, making you keen and arch into him further. You feel the coil tightening in your stomach, your mouth hanging open as he uses your cunt for his own pleasure.

A bark is forced from your lips every time his hips smack the fat of your ass. It isn't long before you cum, your eyes rolling back as you moan loudly, shaking in his grasp. Sukuna growls loudly at the feeling of you clenching around him, your walls fluttering around his cock while his other cock gets milked by your tight ass. He pins you to the mattress with his large frame as he forces his way balls deep into you, filling you with an inhuman quantity of cum.

He pulls out with a shuddering breath, cleaning himself off before slipping his robe back on. He watches your holes leak his cum with satisfaction, giving you a moment before addressing you again.

“Up, pet. Time to go.” He murmurs, patting your ass a few times. He seems to pause for a moment, his expression softening almost imperceptibly as he looks at you.

“I'll have someone run you a bath.” Is all he says before he waves you off, his eyes lingering only a moment too long.

[ferrstappen]

max, the wag (for the third time) l Max Verstappen x reader

a/n: i was in the middle of writing this when news of Danny coming back to the grid!!! omg I'm so happy of seeing RIC and listening to his radios and everything, it wasn't the same without him <3

also, about requests. Please keep sending them, I've LOVED all the reqs I've gotten but right now im getting ready for my bar exam in a couple of weeks so my time is super super limited, but I promise I'll get to most of them (bc imsorry there are some reqs that I really can't connect with) after the exam, it's one of the things I'm looking forward to <3 but for now this kind of mediocre story telling will have to do...

ANYWAY, HOPE YOU LIKE THIS INSTALLMENT! you can find part 1 and 2 on the master list <3

summary: the continuation of your favorite paddock couple.

Max arrived to the track by himself.

If he was being honest, it wasn’t on his plans to walk alone with the photographers, Red Bull marketing team snatching him for stuff right after he swapped his credential. Even from far away he was able to hear chants of fans and more media than usual. 

But you weren’t right there next to him. 

He knew it wasn’t your fault, Silverstone not being a track where he was usually welcomed with opened arms and he was aware of you not wanting to be too in the eye of photographers who didn’t make questions to you, but there still were different WAGs and outfits or whatever accounts tracking your every step, especially with the new wave of partners and sudden break ups and polemics. 

Still, the selfish part of him wanted you to enter the track with him, even if it was a few steps ahead or behind him, holding your hand and smiling as you complained about the amount of credentials you had to carry: the usual green VIP Paddock, Red Bull something. You’d think after all these years they’d know me, you’d say and he’d laugh.

On the other hand, you finished getting ready and called the front desk to get a taxi to get there, feeling a bit guilty of letting Max go on his own, especially when there were more eyes on the track with Brad Pitt being there and a lot of important people who’d want to talk with him all day. 

Texting Max to let him know you were already by the guests entrance waiting when you noticed some intense flashes getting near. You’d been around a time or two to know this wasn’t usual, maybe in Miami but not when you were on the abandoned back entrance, not very glamorous and low key. 

But you saw her…

Shakira, are you visiting Lewis?

Who are you cheering today?

Shakira, third Grand Prix of the year! 

Did you talk to Lewis before? Is he nervous?

Your eyes followed her, mouth opening when you followed her small frame, exuding class and sympathy, even Alexandra who was also making her entrance stopped to get a closer look of the Colombian bombshell. 

Of course, they didn’t ask her to show and get accredited, she just walked by with a radiant smile leaving paparazzi behind as she kept talking with the friend she came with. 

But wasn’t that a Haas credential?

It didn’t matter, it wasn’t important, because right then your brain made the connections and started dialing Max while nervously biting your polished nails. 

“Baby, everything okay? Are you already inside?” Max answered, but his words were quiet and rushed. 

“Yes, but you’re never going to believe…”

“I’m sorry we have a meeting, please don’t go to the paddock, go straight to the driver’s lounge, okay? Love you” 

He hung up and you wanted to pull your hair out, knowing he is the one and only person you wanted to share this information with, and you were also certain he was the only person who would truly appreciate the gossip and speculation about his fellow driver’s love life. 

Max was able to leave the meeting almost forty minutes later, getting outside for some air until he remembered your call and that you probably were bored to death on the lounge. He was turning around to go there when…

When he saw the one and only Shakira in all of her glory. 

He wasn’t starstruck or anything, being immune to celebrities and the imaginary pedestal where most people placed them, but this wasn’t about that, it was about the way she was supposedly hiding under a cap walking towards the Mercedes garage.

He covered his mouth and hastily made his way to you. 

You didn’t greet each other with the usual peck on the lips and short hug; his slightly widened blue eyes told you exactly what you needed to know as he opened the door to his small room. 

“Please tell me that you saw her!” You said as soon as he closed the door. 

“Yes, just now she was walking to Mercedes,” Max was whisper shouting as if someone would hear him and it was the highest of secrets. 

“Did you see Lewis?” You asked Max but he said no. “What if you try to ask Brad Pitt if he saw her and like if they’re friends… with Shakira?” This time both you and your boyfriend laughed at the idea.

"I did see Sainz trying to go unnoticed with a tall brunette,do you think she is the new girlfriend?" Max asked and you nodded.

"I'm pretty sure he cheated on Isa with her, and I am almost certain she was in the Paddock Club in Monaco during qualifying," Max whistled at the new information.

Now he kissed you, lips fitting perfectly against each other, but your eyes suddenly opened and separated from him. What? Why? What happened? Max was disconcerted. 

“Please don’t laugh at me because this is a serious idea…” You told Max who had your entire attention. “What if we write to Deuxmoi?”

“Deux what?”

“They have all the inside scoops  and sightings, even your name’s popped up once or twice,” Max’s eyebrows rose at the information. “We should write that Shakira was seen on the British Grand Prix and I am one hundred percent sure someone will have more information!” You proposed and Max chuckled.

“Schatz, I can just ask Lewis why she’s here,” Max told you before embracing you, his arms circled around your waist.

You rolled your eyes before resting your head on his chest, but suddenly it hit you, swiftly lifting your head and facing Max. 

“Then why haven’t you asked him yet?!”

[mxqdii]

hey! i love love your work, and i was wondering if i could request a chris sturniolo x fem!reader?

maybe reader is also a well known influencer, or an actress or something of the sort, and there’s rumours about her and chris being together that they haven’t really confirmed?

but they are dating and she’s on live one day and he calls her like an intimate pet name, or just overall says something that shows they are in fact together and like the comments on the live just go crazy and stuff and shes like telling chris she’s on live or whatver

im so sorry if this doesnt make sense 🙏🙏

stop bc i requested pretty much this same thing to another author (on wattpad) a few months back, so when i read this request it was such an "i made it" moment (i love u sm, you're just like me fr fr)

baby - c.s

pairings: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: chris accidentally calls reader 'baby' while she's on live, revealing to the whole world that they're dating/

warning(s): fluff, reader calling chris bro 😔

not proofread

i'm sitting on the couch, watching tv, bored out of my mind.

then an idea hits me, i could go on live!

i used to go live a lot with the triplets, but only on their account, so it would be fun to go live on mine.

i open instagram and click the live button, watching the stream fill with thousands of people

"holy shit that's a lot of people" i say with a nervous laugh

"uhh i guess i'll answer any questions anyone has! so feel free to ask anything!" i add, smiling

i read through the comments, lots of them asking where the triplets are

i can't help but notice seeing a few asking if me and chris are dating.

fortunately, those allegations are true! but we've decided to keep it quiet for, just for now.

still, there’s only so much one can hide from the public

and although me and chris haven't said anything, i think everybody knows anyway.

people can see our glances, our gestures, how close we are, it's all pretty obvious.

i answer a few questions like my favorite singer, when my next video is coming out, podcast stuff with the triplets, and just some other various topics.

suddenly i hear the door unlock, looking over at it, but not really caring.

maybe i can get whichever triplet that is to join my live.

chris walks in and i smile in his direction

"hey baby" he says and my expression immediately drops.

i look at him, PALE.

(absolutely terrified to look back at the screen)

"what?" he says, walking closer, i turn my head to the screen, anticipating my death.

i let out a sigh of relief seeing the comments

@ssturniolo BABY???

@strniolo AWWWWWWWW

@lvrsparadise GOODBYE I LOVE THEM.

@ellieswifie this is such a chris and y/n mistake 😭

@lavieenvalentina i'm so happy for them i'll cry

(shoutout to everyone tagged ILY<;3)

as i'm reading the comments, i smile, chris hovering over me reading them too

suddenly he hugs me from behind, squeezing me tight

"chris!" i say laughing

"let me go bro" i whine

"you did not just call me bro" he says, immediately stopping

his death glare makes me laugh

"consider it payback for you calling me baby on live" i say laughing

(him clearly not amused)

"okay fine fine im sorry, guys it's all okay he's not my bro please let me redeem myself" i say joking on the last part

me and chris stay on live for another 30 minutes, answering questions about how we got together and just stuff about our relationship.

"bye guys we love you!!" i say, ending the live

i close out of insta, putting my phone down with an exhausted sigh

"so?" i mumble, anticipating chris's response

"so? so nothing" he say's with a smile and i face palm

"chris! we just told like, the world that we're dating" i laugh

"yeah, and i'm happy about it, like honestly i can't think of a better way it could've happened" he says

we both look at eachother and burst out laughing

"we're a little interesting thats for sure" i say

"i can't believe we tell the world we're dating ON ACCIDENT and then you start calling me bro" chris says, making me laugh harder

"i was nervous! im sorry!" i yell with my hands up in defense

"yeah yeah, it's fine" he says, wrapping his arms around me

"bro" he adds on

"chris i swear to god-"

TAGLIST:

@strniolo @stargirlv0id @annaisabookworm

[sameschmidtdiffname]

Peeta as the smallest of 3 brothers definitely had to resort to dirty plays like biting in his youth.

First off, you're right and you should say it. Second off, Peeta being the youngest is 1000% a dynamic in his relationship with Katniss once they start to recover.

No bc listen. I was the youngest of three siblings and while we never got into physical fights I learned QUICK how to use my mouth to win what battles couldn't be fought physically because my siblings would 100% go to jail for trying to rock a 3 y/os shit. So Peeta was running his mouth religiously around the household. Can't tell me otherwise. "If it weren't for the baby??" Girl, he was biting AND flappin his lips. 100% would get pinned to the ground by his brothers and be like "wow I feel bad for your girlfriend" before getting his shit rocked. He'll offer them tips inbetween punches. "Aim for the throat. Wow, you're still pathetic."

Second, Katniss is the eldest, Peeta is the youngest in their families. Once they're more secure in their relationship, Peeta is 100% causing fun! problems 24/7. She's stressed the fuck out she's gonna come home one day from hunting again and half the house is repainted with all of the furniture just shoved into one big pile away from the drying walls like "WHY DID YOU DO THIS??" "bored :))" because he's so dangerously intelligent, I'm thoroughly convinced he's a practical fucking moron. He probably had to create his own entertainment as a child, he's used to being ignored. If he gets an idea to rearrange the furniture, he just does it. Katniss and Haymitch both have to intervene with how much this happens because Katniss complained about it to Effie once, and Effie started rambling about this thing called "feng-shui," and now Peeta is completely obsessed and will spend several hours to the point of obsession planning with Effie not just his decor, but literally fucking everyones, and Katniss tried to warn Haymitch "Hey, we need to fucking stop this," and Haymitch just said "get out of my house." But now Haymitch is too sober to deal with the constantly changing furniture, and why is this idiot painting his ceiling, and can you please pick up a hobby that doesn't involve majorly changing the layout of our houses? Peeta says no. Katniss instead comes home to Peeta having several geese chasing him at Haymitchs training. He's been waiting for an excuse to reveal this.

She stops feeling bad for needing his constant comfort once he starts biting her out of boredom. Oh, come on. You can see it. He would absolutely look at her arm one night and go "you look nice :))" before taking a giant fucking bite that makes her question every decision she made from age 16-18. There's a solid minute where they just sit in their bed at a standstill. She's holding her book in shock, he's just frozen still biting her. She says "What the fuck" he says "nostalgia :))" to which she's further confused and slightly terrified. She learns how to duck. He learns how to lure her in easier. Post-canon angst + comfort is cute, give me chaotic Peeta torturing his wife who just wants five minutes of peace but secretly adores her dangerously clever idiot of a husband

Imagine when they have kids. That woman is gonna go from "peetas baby!" To "your child."

He likes tossing the motherfuckers in the air. He's the kinda dad who will take off RUNNING with the shopping cart, shove the thing as far away as he can and just wave "bye bye! :))" to the baby inside of the cart that's laughing wildly while Katniss is just chasing this fucking thing down through the store like it's the quarter quell all over again and everyone else is just watching like "Jesus Christ he's doing it again." It gets worse when Peeta collaborates his children with the attacking geese to use against Haymitch when he tries to prevent him from repainting his ceiling again.

[coolyiooo]

Using Dirty Pick Up Lines On BSD Men

Pairings: Dazai, Ranpo, Fyodor, Atsushi, and Chuuya

❗Warnings❗slapping, kissing, blushing, dirty talk, teasing, and etc

🖤DAZAI🖤

You were bored as hell at the ADA office. You were figuring out what you should do to cure your boredom. Everybody was pretty much out of the office since they were busy with a mission.

You thought long and hard when suddenly a mischievous idea popped up in your pretty little head.

You looked at your boyfriend, who was sleeping on his desk when he should be working, and smirked. You got up and wrapped your arms around him, waking him up.

"Hm? Does my bella need something?" He asked with a tired smile

He then gasped and smirked with sparkling eyes "you wanna ditch work?"

You chuckled "as nice as that sounds, I'm going to have to decline. I'm sorry babe"

He pouted, but then you said "I just wanted to say something to you"

His face spoke curiosity "and what's that?" You leaned in his ear with a smirk and whispered

"Are you a racehorse? Because if I rode you you'll definitely finish first"You leaned back to see his face.

You saw that he was blushing with wide eyes. He was taken aback since he wasn't expecting you to use a dirty pick up line, but then he smirked and then smiled innocently.

He grabbed your chin gently and in a deep voice said "Are you a haunted house? Because I'm going to scream when I'm inside of you"

Your eyes widened a bit. You also blushed. You weren't expecting him to say a pick up line back to you, but little did you know that he wasn't done.

He chuckled "You can't spell menu with without m-e-n-u bc it's only us that will be on the table tonight"

Regardless of your dazed reaction he kept going "Can you do telekinesis? Because you made a part of me move without even touching it"

You finally found your words "D-Dazai-!"

He laughs and still continues to play this game of teasing you. What were you expecting? If your gonna tease him he's gonna play your game too, but he'll make sure to win.

He whispers in your ear again "Let's play titanic you'll be the iceberg and I'll go down"

Will this game ever end? You think as your face was a blushing mess

He kissed your cheek with a chuckle "I ran out of pick up lines so I'll pick u up at 9"

You then rolled your eyes with blushed cheeks. You were a little annoyed that he played your game better than you "ok we get it, you win with the pick up lines"

You slightly push him away, but he gets up and holds you by the waist, bringing your body towards his, looking directly into your eyes with a lazy look.

"Don't think I didn't mean everything I just said because I one hundred percent do. Just wait for tonight my Belladonna~"

💚RANPO💚

You and Ranpo went out to go get ice cream after solving an investigation. After getting your ice cream, you both went to sit down on a bench that showed a perfect view of the sunset, it was a gorgeous view and being with your cute boyfriend made it even better.

You were both sitting in silence just taking in the view and taste of the ice cream, but suddenly you remembered about this one pick up line that said something about sunsets. You smirked and thought 'why not tease my boyfriend?'

You leaned into Ranpo shoulder with a smirk "you know I'm not into watching sunsets, but I always love to see you go down"

Ranpo stopped eating his ice cream, his spoon still in his mouth, and looked at you with open eyes. His cheek had a hint of red on them. He processed what you just said and chuckled.

"I have a Quick question, sugar" he asked

You tilted your head out of curiosity "what is it?"

He had a smile on his face "If I were a watermelon would u spit or swallow my seed?"

You were now taken aback with a hint of blush, he laughed at your reaction "your such a cutie, sugar cube~ I think I actually know the answer to that question anyway"

You looked away from embarrassment, but after he stopped laughing he said something while standing up

"Now let's go home and have some alone time~" he smirks "Your like a rollercoaster the faster you go the louder I scream" when you did go home, he wasn't kidding about that last pick up line he said.

💜FYODOR💜

You were sitting on the couch while Fyodor was working on his computer. You were used to Fyodor taking hours to finish his work, but this time you were just so bored and you wanted some attention. You got up and went towards your boyfriend, hugging him from the side.

You groaned "Fedyaaaaa are you almost done?"

He didn't look away from the computer "I'm afraid not, my love .I'm sorry" he said apologetically, kissing your arms

You whined "I'm bored Fedya" you laid your head on his shoulder

He chuckled "if it'll help you can sit on my lap"

You didn't waste a second and straddled his lap while hugging him, your chin on his shoulder. He smiled at your action and continued to work. You were happy, but After awhile you started to get bored again and had an amazing idea.

You turned your head to get a better view of his face and mumbled with a smile

"This may sound corny, but your making me horny"

He stopped typing and gave u a side eye, this made you chuckle with a wide smile on your face. He turns his face to get a better look at you. His face showed no emotions.

He calmly said "Im not going to say a pick up line because I'm not trying to pick you up I'm trying to pin you down"

You whispered a gasp. Your mouth opened out of shock as he smiles and chuckles at your reaction. It's so nice to see him smile, it really warms your heart, so you decided to say one last line.

You smirked again "Are u a rainstorm? Because ur making me dripping wet"

He responded with a hum of amusement "As I should" you scoffed with a smile from his bold response.

He chuckled again then leaned into your ear "don't worry myshka~ tonight I'll make sure to make you satisfied"

💙ATSUSHI💙

You were with your precious boyfriend during lunch break at the ADA office, nobody else was eating with you guys so you had the whole office to yourselves.

You were feeling a bit of a tease today and decided to make your boyfriend a blushing mess by using dirty pick up lines.You looked at your boyfriend lovingly and innocently

"Atsushi~"

He looked at you and instantly knew you were up to no good "oh no.. what are you thinking about y/n?" He hesitantly asked

You scoffed. He knows you too well "nothing what do you mean?!"

"I know that look and that look means your up to no good"

"Oh come on it's not that bad"

"Hmm oh alright what is it?"You smirked making him just a little on edge

"Are you a bicycle? because I wanna ride you tonight"

He started to choke on his food with a red face. You couldn't tell if he was blushing or dying from choking. He stopped coughing after you slapped his back, trying to catch his breath.

"I- I thought you said it wasn't going to be that bad!" Atsushi whined

You smiled with a bit of a worried expression "I'm sorry my love it's just my doctor told me I have vitamin d deficiency, so I was wondering if you wanna go back to my place and help me out with that?"

This time he looked confused and concerned "r-really? What kind of foods have vitamin d in them? Maybe we should take walks so you can get more sun"

Ugh you love him so much. You laughed at his adorable innocence "Oh Atsushi.. bless your heart" you kissed his cheek

Now he was extremely confused. You smiled "I was trying to use another pick up line on you. When I said I had vitamin d deficiency I really meant.. well..." You then point at his crotch "get it?"

It took him awhile to figure it out. His face turned white and then became a red mess. You laughed at his cuteness and kissed his cheeks. He looked away with an embarrassed face and said

"Just wait until tonight, y/n"

🧡CHUUYA🧡

You and Chuuya just finished a mission and were on your way to your shared apartment. You were both walking on your way home, but you were trying to find a way to pass the time then suddenly you felt like messing with your boyfriend with some pick up lines.

"Hey, Chuuya" you called out to him

He turns his head towards you "hm? Yes, doll?"

You smirked "Are u a trampoline? Because I wanna jump up and down on you all the time"

He stopped walking which made you stop walking. You could see he had a blush painted on his cheeks while he looked at you with wide eyes.

You laughed at his reaction which made him embarrassed then slowly angry. He decided to get back at you. He grabbed you by the waist aggressively which made you stop laughing.

He smirks"Do you have a shovel? because I'm digging that ass" he then literally slaps your ass harshly making you yelp.

Thankfully not many people were on the streets, but it still made you embarrassed

"C-chuuya!" You yelled

He laughed at your embarrassment "what happened to your confidence, doll?" All you could do was pout and look away.

He then smiled at you "I was feeling very off today but then you turned me on, so take some responsibility will ya?"

[keyotos]

i'm yours tonight

summary ⎯ late nights w/ dan heng. inspired by my sleepover hcs.

tana's words ⎯ having HELLA dan heng brainrot rn. also i'm getting through everyone's requests ASAP!! i just wrote this bc im having major writers block rn.

tags ⎯ fluff. unestablished relationship but the feels are there. oblivious idiot (you). reading together (real).

"psst. dan heng, are you awake?" you whispered. you were crouching down next to him on the floor, head circling his figure as you tried to find out if he was awake or not. it was the early hours of the morning and you felt slightly guilty for waking him up.

"now i am," dan heng shuffled around until he faced you. "what is it?"

"i can't sleep," you laughed dryly, "again. do you have a book i could borrow?" you stood up. dan heng wanted to pull you down by your hand so you could be back on his level. he reached out slightly and then shot his hand down.

dan heng stumbled out of his floor mattress. charming, he thought to himself. he moved towards his bookshelf as you followed him. you stood so close to dan heng that he started feeling goosebumps on his neck; the warmth of your breath making him shiver.

"what are you in the mood for today?" dan heng asked as he started browsing his shelf.

"anything, really," you sighed. "something boring? i've been having trouble sleeping for the past few days," you rubbed a hand over your temples.

"have you been alright?" dan heng swiftly turned to face you, all thoughts about the book forgotten.

"yeah," you rubbed your eyes, "i've been fine. you don't have to worry about me," you beamed through your drowsiness.

i always worry about you, he wanted to say.

"dictionary?" dan heng pulled out the book, emphasizing its thickness.

"words. perfect," you wiggled your eyebrows. you grabbed the book and flipped through a few pages. it's condition was pristine, as always.

"thanks, dan heng," you looked at the book and then looked back up to him, "hopefully i'll be able to sleep soon," you held onto the book tighter. for some reason, you wanted to stay in this room; stay with dan heng.

dan heng parted his lips, in awe of how you still look gorgeous even when you're exhausted, "no problem," he gulped, "if you need another way to sleep faster, i know a good herbal tea recipe."

"i might have to take you up on that offer one time," you smirked, "if you hear three knocks on your door, just know it's me."

dan heng laughed, "noted."

you waved goodbye and started walking out the door. you intentionally started walking slower than usual, in hopes dan heng would offer you tea right now. you didn't feel like going back to sleep, especially going back to sleep alone.

you stopped in your tracks. dan heng didn't move; he examined you, wondering if you forgot something or not.

"is it okay if i stay in here?" you turn back around, walking slightly closer to him, "i don't feel like falling asleep alone tonight."

dan heng raised his eyebrows in shock, facial expression slightly contorted, "i⎯uh. are you sure?"

hearing his reaction made you want to shrivel into your body. his confused tone made you worry, "um. yeah," you looked down at the floor, "unless you don't want me here. that's fine!" you looked back up at dan heng.

dan heng blushed at your disconcerted state, "no. you're welcome to stay if you'd like," you're welcome to stay all the time, "but my bed is uncomfortable. do you really want to stay in the archives?" he raised his eyebrows as a way to affirm your answer.

"oh!" your entire figure stood up, "i'll stay wherever you are, to be honest," you had no idea of the affect one sentence had on dan heng. while he was trying to hide his blush, you continued, "but if your bed is a problem, we'll just stay in my room."

"are you sure⎯" dan heng was cut off.

"yes," you vigorously nodded your head. "why else would i offer?" you wrapped your arm around his neck, "okay! let's move!"

dan heng keep rubbing his neck on the way to your room. when did it get so hot? luckily for him, he felt his warmth drain when he reached your room. it was freezing: definitely below (at least) 67 degrees. and then he noticed the heap of blankets lying on your bed, which explained so much.

"make yourself at home!" you waved your arms around, as if you were showing a grand prize. you flopped onto the bed and proceeded to wrap yourself in the blankets.

dan heng, on the other hand, chose to lay on top of the covers for two reasons. the first reason being, if he had gotten under the covers with you, he feared that he'd be too flustered to even face you. the second reason was he may burn up.

"are you gonna get under here?" you asked, shuffling around your mountain of blankets, "it gets really cold at night."

"i'll be fine. don't worry about me," he shrugged. as he tried to light the lamp on your nightstand, you grabbed his hand before he could turn it on.

"quoting me now?" you teased.

"i⎯" he paused. "i assure you, yn. i'll be fine," trying to hide his gaze from your eyes. your hand on his feels so blissful. your grip, so light and calming.

"and i assure you," you hold on tighter, "you're gonna be cold tonight. like, freezing. i saw your body react to when we came in here. you were about to shiver," you recognized his body language? "don't be stubborn. c'mon."

hesitantly, dan heng made his way under the covers. he could feel you next to him, your body radiating heat the blankets could not. unknowingly, he gravitated towards you, so much so that the two of you were touching knees.

"feel better now?"

"slightly, yes."

"you do," you dragged on the syllables in a sing-song way. you opened up the dictionary and began to read inside your head. well, struggling to read. it was dark and you insisted to not turn on the lights (it disrupts REM sleep, you said).

"give me that," dan heng grabbed the book out of your hands. though you try to protest, he holds the book out of your grasp.

while you try to reach for it, you end up sprawling yourself all over dan heng's body. at some point, you went from simply pressing your chest up against his to practically straddling him.

dan heng tried to take his mind off of your position; he focused on keeping the dictionary out of your hands. it was fun, teasing you. if his arm was standing in one place it would've been easier to reach, however, dan heng possessed a sense of agility you knew nothing of until tonight.

when you exhausted yourself in your efforts, you crashed down on top of dan heng. for someone who was (apparently) adept on dan heng's body language, you didn't notice how his chest was rising unevenly, how is breaths were more shallow and hitched. you concluded that his warmth occured from how many blankets were on top of him, and not the fact that you were practically centimeters away from his lips.

"how else am i supposed to sleep if i can't read," you mumbled in his ear, too worn out to talk at a normal volume.

dan heng tilted his face away from yours, scared that something would happen if he had gotten too close, "i'll read for you."

this time, you hauled yourself off of dan heng's body, now opting for leaning into his side, "how? you can't read in the dark either?" you leaned your head on your hand so you could look at dan heng. dan heng was grateful for the dark, otherwise, if not for the dark, you'd be able to see how red he was in the moment.

"i actually can," he opened the book, flipping through the pages to find the most boring words. you shook your head in disbelief; there was no way he could actually read in the dark (he could).

you shuffled through the blankets once more, trying to find the cold spot on the bed. the cold spot was nice, but it wasn't satisfactory, for you could not hear the sounds of dan heng's voice. so you leaned closer, resting your head on his shoulder yet again.

"quintessence: the most perfect or typical example of a quality or class," dan heng read out. you found that his voice started lulling you to sleep already.

"do you think people just make these words up and they just appear in the dictionary?" you slur out, consciousness slowly fading away.

dan heng softly chuckled, "maybe," he flipped through more pages, "tintinnabulation: a ringing or tinkling sound."

you laughed into his bicep, "are you sure you're not the person making these words up?"

dan heng wanted to sear your laughter into his skin, "i'm not. are you about to sleep yet?"

"i'm sleeping now," you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, "mimimimi⎯"

dan heng delicately smacked the dictionary on your face, "sleep," he stressed. when you moved yourself closer to dan heng, he couldn't help but pull you slightly closer. maybe it was the facade of exhaustion donning on him, or maybe it was because he wanted you closer.

as he felt your breathing slow and listened to you get less chatty, he knew you fell asleep. he set the dictionary aside and tilted his head down to look at you. how could one look so enchanting while sleeping? he carefully stroked your eyebrow, an endearment he used only for you, and pulled you closer into him.

when you two woke up in the morning, none of you dared to discuss how you were practically entangled and intertwined together.

bonus:

"i think that was the best sleep i've ever gotten," you laid on dan heng's shoulder. "your voice put me to sleep."

dan heng, trying to avoid even closer contact, "so are you saying my voice bores you?" he teases.

"what!?" you take your head off of his shoulder. though dan heng avoided the encounter, he wished for your head to come back down; he missed how his heart began to race with you near.

"no! your voice is just⎯ really peaceful. and calming. and nice," you try to explain yourself. when you see a slight smirk threatening to show on his face, you scowled. "it's too early for this," you playfully shoved him away from you, missing his smile on the way.

[nariism]

a/n: fwb zhongli who catches feelings for you and mopes when it's time for you to part ways bc me and art said so. suggestive obv but nothing blatantly nsfw

You've become sort of a sore topic for Zhongli.

No, not because you've rejected him in any way. Not even because he's trying to avoid catching feelings for you. Quite the opposite, actually.

He doesn't know what you are. He doesn't know if he means anything to you below the surface.

Sure, the flings were fun—distracting, even, when he was stressed from work. You were only meant to be a good time outside of work which Childe so earnestly encouraged him to find. And you were for the most part wonderful company even when he wasn't tangled in bedsheets with you.

The problem is that he was falling hard and fast, and he's almost positive the sentiment isn't shared.

"You're going out again?" Hu Tao asks as she peers into his office. He's packing up his belongings and shoving your favourite snacks into his bag.

"Yes, does that concern you, Director?"

"Yeesh," she hisses. "Cold. Haven't you two made it official yet?"

"No."

"And that's because...?" She trails off, awaiting some sort of explanation. It's been months after all. Months. Frankly, she's tired of watching Zhongli do this back and forth without making any actual advances outside of... well.

She coughs when he doesn't provide any answer. "Are you going to?"

The man only sighs, frustrated with himself or with the Director, he can't tell anymore. And again, he tells her:

"No."

She shakes her head. He's utterly hopeless.

"My, you sure do know a lot about Glaze Lilies."

Zhongli's fingers twitch and he recoils from you. The flower he placed behind your ear shimmers in the glow of lanterns, sparkling like diamond itself is sprouting from your hair. You look so breathtaking, he thinks. Could he tell you that? Probably not.

Ah, he must have been rambling without realizing. A bad habit that he has yet to kick. It must bore you to death.

"An old friend of mine used to love them," he tells you. "My apologies for going off on a tangent."

"No, no," you wave him off, a smile spreading across your face—warm and welcoming. For a moment he believes that you're looking at him with something more. "It's alright. I like listening to you talk."

"You... do?" He questions.

"Why wouldn't I?"

He opens his mouth like he has an answer but it quickly snaps shut. Yes, why wouldn't you? He's surprised that you haven't lost interest in him yet simply because he's a talktative walking history book, yet simultaneously relieved that you haven't left his side.

There's zero dishonesty evident in your expression, nor is there any sign that you genuinely want him to stop blathering. But the time has come to leave you anyway. If only the night could be as lasting as his growing feelings for you.

The winding streets of Liyue have lead you back to your front porch. It must be well into the night—hardly anyone is around. The shops have all packed up and closed down for the day and even the croaking of frogs has quieted down.

You turn slightly, glancing at the welcoming entrace of your home. "So... this is it."

"Home."

"Home," you echo.

"When will I see you next?"

You laugh, seemingly amused by his formality. "Whenever you'd like, Zhongli."

A long silence settles over you as you watch each other. Your eyes bore into his intensely, as if searching for something in them. With the distance between you, he can't make out exactly what it is that you're thinking.

You turn to leave and it's a familiar, gut-wrenching feeling. The sight of you leaving him: sometimes draped in nothing but his bedsheets and others like this. And for some reason, this version bothers him infinitely more.

It's pathetic that he mopes about it, feels like a kicked puppy now that your date (if you could even call it that) has ended. The uncertainty of having you means that it could be the last time he holds your gaze, or it could be just be the beginning of your story.

He wants you. He knows he does. Would it be selfish to ask you to be his? Does he have that right?

Just as he's about to leave you at your door, once he knows you've gotten safely there, your voice calls out to him.

"Actually, do you want to walk around a bit longer?" You freeze, looking surprised at your own suggestion before continuing. "I-I know it's quite late but..."

He holds his breath. But?

"But... I just want to hear your voice a little longer."

It's a silly reason, he knows. It's even worse how giddy he feels inside, acting like a child having a crush on someone. He's certain you can see the melting of his expression, eyes impossibly soft.

The realization strikes him down like lightning. Oh. How could he have not realized? Had he been so busy worrying about how to move on from you while you were still in his bed that he missed the way you purposefully lingered around a little longer? That you were always the one asking him when he was free?

He chuckles—to you or at himself, he isn't sure. "Of course."

When you close the distance between your bodies, he offers you his hand with a blooming smile. He can't help admiring you under the warm lights of the harbour. You take it without question and don't let go. He doesn't either.

"Where was I?"

"You were telling me about why they only blossom under moonlight," you ponder. You're not very subtle with the way you scoot your body closer into his side and how you try to nimbly interlock your fingers, but he doesn't mind.

He had been blind this long. He would be remiss if he were to let the opportunity slip.

"Ah, yes." Zhongli squeezes your hand as you walk. "I should tell you of this old legend."

There's an uncontrollable joy in his heart when he realizes that, indeed, it is only the beginning of a long tale.

© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.

[scekrex]

An idea? Did somebody just say they have an idea? Oh wait, that would be me! Hi, hello, love, me again, the little pretty devil on your shoulder that encourages you to sin, or rather, create ✨

Just Adam, reader and Lute playing UNO. You probably knew this was coming. It's basically them just playing it like that one video on Smii7y's channel where everybody basically just yells at each other. Honestly it would be so funny to read about them playing, the reader placing a card for Lute, a nice +4 (Fucking hate that bitch, the sole reason for my misery during that game), what he didn't think of was the possibility of Lute having another +4. She put it down on top of the reader's (They play by the rule where the +4 or +2 stack) and Adam just goes "I can't believe you've done this!" (Like the meme with the British dude in sunglasses getting punched in the face), reader laughing and mocking him with "Oh, I cAn'T bElIeVe YoU'vE dOnE tHiS!" with a British accent, but then Adam finds another +4 in his cards, places it down and looks at reader with a satisfactory smirk. When readers sees it he just goes "Fuck, I actually can't believe you've done this. You fuck" with an accusatory tone, realising he has to pick up 12 cards and just flips his cards like Steve Harvey sometimes does at stupid answer during Family Feud saying "Man, fuck this, I ain't playing with you no more! You best believe I'll get my revenge. No damn sex for you" while walking away, obviously directing it for Adam, but Lute just going "DISGUSTANG" and Adam just going "He was not speaking to you, bitch. Mind ya business. This one is mine, there's my life on the line😭". I just see the possibility of them playing UNO while bored in Heaven would be the funniest shit ever 😂 UNO destroys relationships, kids... AND emotionally damages you 😭

Nah bc they'd roast the living shit outta each other. Just imagine how they'd react when playing Mario Kart, they'd tear open each other's throats.

Tired Games

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, crack fic comin' through whoop whoop

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

All you had wanted was a chill evening with your husband and Lute, to relax and enjoy the day off. So you three sat on the floor of your and Adam's apartment, in front of you there was a stack of UNO cards. You had been playing for a couple hours by now and slowly all of you were losing your patience. UNO was one of the games that always ended in fights, either because Lute was convinced the ‘you can stack a +4 on a +4’ rule was entirely made up - she had once shown you a tweet from the company that said doing so was against the rules - or it was like today.

“Hurry up babes,” Adam poked you in the side which caused you to flinch away from his touch and bat his hand away, “Stop that you touch starved bitch.” You slapped a +4 onto the stack, offering Lute the most wicked grin you had in store, “Sucks to be you, bitch.” Lute however was having none of it, she returned the grin, equally wicked and pulled another +4 out of her deck.

The look the first man gave you was priceless, he looked truly betrayed while a bit of annoyance gleamed in his golden eyes, “I can't believe you've fucking done this.” You chuckled to yourself as you poked him back, a small giggle escaped you as he flinched away just like you had. “Oh, I can't believe you've fucking done this, go cry about it bitch,” you mocked him as you laid down. You were starting to get tired but you also wanted to finish the game. The problem was when you grew tired you also grew short tempered and so you knew it was only a matter of time until things would escalate. Still you continued as you put your head in Adam's lap. The brunette looked down on you and offered you a small smile, then his hand was in your hair and for a tiny moment your eyes fell shut as you embraced the warm touch your husband gave you.

The first man stayed silent for a long time as he went through his cards, clearly thinking hard about whether to play the card he had or not. “Hurry up, old man,” Lute grumbled and kicked his shin, that made Adam yelp in pain and scoot backwards a little - he made sure to move drag your body with him so that you could continue to use him as a pillow - to get away from the executor, “Geez, the fuck is wrong with you?” he complained as he played yet another +4 card. The smirk on his face was sweet, so sweet that you genuinely wanted to tear it off and throw it in the trash. You looked at the stack of cards, then up at Adam and back down at the cards. That meant you had to draw 12 godforsaken cards. Fucking 12.

“Fuck that,” you flipped your cards over in anger and pushed yourself up - away from Adam - so that you sat on the floor before you fully got up, “Fuck you,” you flipped Adam off before turning to Lute, “And fuck you too.” With crossed arms and in a shitty mood you walked over to the couch and wrapped your wings around your body in order to hide from the people sitting on the floor. “I ain't playing with you with you no more,” you grumbled quietly, then raised your voice a little so that Adam could hear your threat, “No fucking sex for you.”

Lute's face twisted in disgust and she wrinkled her nose at your words, “Disgusting.” Adam raised an eyebrow and side eyed her, not sure if she truly thought you had addressed to words to her or if she was playing, “Bitch, he was talking to me, this is my punishment, my fucking life's on the line here,” the first human soul in heaven whined and got up from the floor as well. “Don’t forget so is your dick,” Lute reminded the brunette who just groaned at that as he walked over to you. He carefully nudged the tips of your wings apart and really couldn't help the smile when he saw your pointing face. “Aw, c’mon babes, it's just a stupid fucking game,” he hummed as he kneeled down to be on eye level with you, his hands were resting on your knees which were pressed against your chest. “Fuck off, I said what I said,” you mumbled as you were avoiding eye contact. You knew too well that he could plead so prettily with them golden eyes of his, looking straight into them meant risking taking your words back and letting him win. He put a finger underneath your chin and tilted your head slightly, he basically forced you to look at him. All it took was one glance and you were done for, you simply knew you lost.

Your eyes must've given that away because Adam leaned in to give you a short yet soft kiss, “That’s a good boy.” You turned your face away, grumbling something about how he should watch his mouth. “You two done with your shit? Can we continue?” Lute interrupted and while you loved her like a sister, you would've loved to grab her by the wings and throw her out the window. You might save that for later though. You pushed yourself away from the soft fabric of the couch and right into Adam's arms, “Actually,” you mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his neck so that he could carry you, “I think I’m going to bed.” Tiredness had won you over once again but Lute understood, of course she did. “Feel free to crash on the couch, danger tits,” Adam offered the exorcist but she shook her head, “I’d rather not want to wake up to the sound of you two fucking again, thanks. One time was more than enough.” Adam shrugged, he thought that was fair. And while the two of them had that little conversation, you had already fallen asleep in Adam's arms.

[shmolish]

can you do shadow milk x ticklish reader

like shadow milk savouring their suffering while reader screaming in terrified laughter

AN: HEHEHE, HE IS SO SILLY, I LOVE HIM. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS REQUEST ♡ I made a short oneshot and some headcanons (bc this is my pooksay)

Shadow Milk Cookie x Ticklish! GN! Reader

Warnings: Just fluff

-Deserved-

Today was a rather odd day. There were no plays currently being performed in the theater, which meant Shadow Milk Cookie should be bothering you non-stop right now.. but he was nowhere to be seen.

You hadn't been looking for him, persay, but now you were beginning to feel a bit on edge.

Something hasn't happened to him, right? You're sure he's capable of defending himself.

You had even asked some of the other people in the theater, but they hadn't seen him either.

After lazily walking around the theater hoping to bump into your beloved boyfriend, you decided to just return home.

You would enter your house, and it was in that moment, that you had finnaly heard him.

"Doll~ A little help please?" Shadow Milk Cookie was sitting on your couch, tied up in a ribbon.

You stared at him in disbelief, with an underlying hint of disappointment.

"How exactly did you end up like this?" You would ask him before closing the door behind you.

"The details are not important. What is important is that you untie me!" Shadow Milk would say while grinning and staring at you with those unblinking eyes.

You roll your eyes before sitting next to him and starting to undo the ribbon.

It wasn't even done that well. Shadow Milk could have undid it himself if he wanted to.

The ribbon was undone swiftly.

"Oh thank you dove! I don't know what I'd do without you."

He would immediately cuddle up to you, warping his arms around your waist and giving you kisses on the cheek.

You were not impressed.

"So, can you finally tell me why you were tied up? I'm curious."

"Ah, I just wanted you to touch me. And I must say, I think my plan went off without a hitch!" His smile would never falter.

"You could have just asked."

Shadow Milk Cookie would frown and begin to whine.

"But that's soooo boring. I'm suppose to be entertaining! And besides, you were taking forever to come back!!"

He would begin to pout.

"I shouldn't let you get away with that."

Cold fingers could be immediately felt attacking your sides.

"H- hey! What are you-" You would cut yourself off with nonstop laughing.

"I'm not doing anything you don't deserve," he would say with a mischievous grin.

You would just keep screaming and laughing, barely being able to get out an 'I can't breathe-'

Shadow Milk would just shrug and continue on with his shenanigans.

What a loving boyfriend ♡

HEADCANONS BELOW:

Figured out you were ticklish very early on in your relationship

Has used it against you ever since

He's deceptively strong and can pin you down super easily

You never get away from him unless he's had his fun

If you ever annoy him or do something mildly upsetting: tickles. Nonstop

Really likes your laugh, so that might also be a reason he does it so much

His hands are always cold too, and it makes it worse :,(

He won't even stop for the excuse I can't breathe, because he thinks it funny seeing you so helpless

If you beg really nicely, or at least attempt to beg, maybe he'll stop

100% jumps out of nowhere and tickles you

He says it's your fault since your reactions are so entertaining

Very flexible to, so dodges your attacks pretty easily

If you do hit him while in a laughing fit, he doesn't stop for ten times longer

Says it's your punishment

[reyreadersblog]

My unpopular TIG opinions.

Since y'all are expressing opinions out here..who am i to leave out? Now have in mind that these are MY opinions, some of these are unpopular some of these are NOT, some of these are even underrated facts but let's just ignore that..

(Please don't hate me)

1. I DON'T CARE ABOUT EVE, and i don't want her to be with Grayson..bcs APPERANTLY and very unfortunatly there are people out there who ship Gray and Eve..crazy..i know, i really don't care about her, i already made a whole post about why i don't like her at all, she's a manipulator, she's a liar, she's a backstabber. She traumatised poor Gray and threatened Ave. I respect your opinion if you like her and i truly understand where some of you are coming from, but i just can't manage to like her, don't hate her i just dislike her. Even if she gets a redemption arc..i can't seem to understand how i'll like her character after what she has done, but if i will..."forgotten but never forgiven"

2.underrated characters, there are so many of them in this books, for example Zara Hawthorne. I love her honestly, i could never hate, i understand she may have done some wrong things...but i love her nontherless♡♡ and same goes for Alisa Ortega.

(Honorable mention) also come on, give my man Oren some appreciation he deserves, you think following teenager around is easy? Even if it's his job and he gets paid, it's still tiring..😔

3. Uhh..i am scared to say this...i prefer Nash and Alisa to Nash and Libby...WAIT, WAIT, WAIT...DON'T KILL ME YET..LET ME EXPLAIN FIRST🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻, i saw @hawthornesbiggestfan 's post, and that encouriged me to say this, read that post bcs that explains exacly how i feel. I love Nash and Libby, they're super cute, i can't wait for their wedding and think they are going to have a very happy family...but..i'm still at the restaurant😔, EVEN THO we never got to know Nash and Alisa's story, smtg about those two had me invested in them from the beggining, like imagne Alisa growing up and Nash slowly developing a tiny crush on them..young love..passion..childhood lovers...love confession..ughh, also the fact that Gray, Xan and Jamie already saw her as their family, like an older sister. Such a shame we never got to see their story. Again, i'm not saying i dislike Nash and Libby tho if it had been love triangle between Nash, Libby and Aliso...i would choose Nash and Alisa...

3.Avery is freaking underrated, yk what's sad? SHE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER, and she doesn't get enough hype (i've made a post about this too) meanwhile people are swooning over Hawthorne brothers, and yes i am one of them but i love Avery to death, i even saw someone comparing Avery and the brothers saying "oh she's so boring..Hawthorns are way better than her..blah..blah..blah" technically they were saying fuck poor people, i know for a fact NONE of the brother would last an hour from where she came from (iykyk), she's a girlboss, and a main character for a reason.

4. As much as i love Averyjameson, i have to say their story is pretty much over, We'll probably get some cute moments from them in tgg or in games untold, but they ARE NOT a main couple anymore.

5.TGG IS A NEW SERIES, please understand that it's new book series with new characters (at least most of them) stop attacking JLB, it's her books, it's her choice.

6.Lyra Kane's haters don't make sense to me, especially those one who mock, and laugh at her lovers saying "you don't even know her, i'm gonna laugh at y'all when she turns out to be Eve 2.0" uhm...sir..miss..shut it. I respect your opinion if you're a Lyra netural bcs it's true we don't know many things about her and i totally understand if you can't love her yet, but don't hate, we know we're delusional most of the times, but that's what headcanons is for, for fun, alight, let people have fun.

7. Will all due respect i have...Averygrayson shippers are...dumb..yikes..sorry, but it's the truth, i'm tired of talking about this, it's been 4 books, Avery is happy with Jamie, they're perfect for each other, their relationship status is great and Gray is most definetly getting a new love interest..but of you still ship and have faith in them..do so..who am i to stop you? Just don't be disappointed when it won't be ture.

8.i may be judging too early but Savannah and Gigi being in the game..doesn't sit right, tbh honest it'a NEPOTISM at it's finest, i love both of them so much..but..nah. again, idk for sure..it may be some trick, it's JLB after all.

9.there are too many repetitive charcter traits..Jameson and Rohan, Grayson and Savannah, Gigi and Xander, Eve and Emily, every single dad, exept for Isaiah.

10.Speaking of Isaiah, he is extremly underrated, i mean he is the best dad in the series and somehow people talk about Sheffield Grayson more than him.

Sheesh...don't kill me in the comments please, i'm too young to die🙏🏻😔

(I'll probably do a part 2...

[k2ntoss]

Yohohoo!

May I request this prompt "how long have you known them? are you both friends?" with our jealous boy Jaybird ft Steph?

yk??? i'm fucking living for jealous jay it's making me CRY like i just need him so i can kiss all his face to tell him he's tloml ): sooo study session jay with the perfume bc it's my favorite book hehehe

how long have you known them? are you both friends?

steph and you've been trying to go through the afternoon with the lecture you have, jason is also there to lend a helping hand because he's the only person you both know that has read the book that you need to read and that actually understand every issue on the story "it's not that hard, you just have to try and understand how jean baptiste thinks" jason says as he holds your copy of the book, looking at the few annotations you've made on the pages but none of them really makes sense "he's a freak, i have nothing else to say" you mutter while trying to peek at what jason must be reading from your book and you can feel steph shifting on her seat before nodding "i have to agree there, i really can't make anything else besides the fact that he's a creep"

the allegations make jason sigh as he leans back into his chair, his body sinking into it as you snatch your book from his hand to close it and leave it on the small coffee table in front of you, quickly replacing it with your phone. jason's hands are on his face, the guy is clearly struggling trying to find a way to explain a deeper analysis of the main character of the perfume because jean baptiste is more than a freak or a creep, he's a silly dude with a god complex and a need to be noticed that comes from the very first thing that happened to him: being left to die by his mother as soon as he was born; but his thoughts are interrumpted by the giggle you let out and the soft hum that comes from steph when she sees you smiling at your phone "shouldn't you both be reading a book? what are you looking at though?"

"it's just someone's new friend" steph says with a small smirk, she clearly knows that jason has been interested on you from a while now but she's been there looking, waiting for the moment where you both confessed because turns out that you were also interested on jason.

as almost everytime, guys are a bit oblivious when you like them and jason seems to be blind to the way you look at him or at how you lean into his side when he is trying to explain you something about a book.

now, the way steph said 'friend' triggered something into jason's mind and he quickly turned to his side, snatching your phone from your hand to put it on his pocket, he wasn't going to read to whatever you've been texting to prevent himself from a heartbreak "go back to studying, that's better than texting any random and boring dude" he says, avoiding your look by turning away and the soft grunt that escapes your lips makes him smirk because it means he gets your attention when he explains you something, problem when you don't ask him anything instead just shift anxiously when your phone buzzes on his pocket.

"someone is getting impatient" steph says while her eyes read through the lines of the book, she's amused by this whole exchange because jason's now growling when he hands you your phone and then frowns when you start texting with a wide grin "he texts you too much, isn't it annoying" but you shake your head, somehow jason just clicks his tongue "how long have you known him? are you both friends?" he asks, now looking at steph too as if expecting her to answer but she just laughs softly and pretends it's nothing to do with her.

"two months... and what do you mean with if we're friends?" you ask when you stop looking at your phone, jason raises an eyebrow at your words "two months? and you talk that much?" he asks, his tone is something between disbelief and a clear sing of a hurt ego, he's been your friend for much more than two months and you don't text him that much! "you like him, don't you?" the question leaves jason's lips before he can think it twice and steph covers her mouth, trying to hold back the loud laugh that's making her choke.

"i don't like him, why does it matter?" at this point you're more invested on this conversation than in your texts and even more invested than with the book "nothing, nevermind, go back to the book" jason says quickly, crossing his arms and pointing at the table with his chin.

"could you just kiss already? it will avoid us all this trouble..." steph's words makes jason open his mouth to say something but he stops as soon as he notices the big blush on your face.

[ladystardust-thinks]

you are in love - t.e.

taron egerton x fem!reader, fluff

request:

Hi hiii! Can I request a fluffly imagine w Taron Egerton where he's simping over the reader during an interview? Thank youu have a nice day!!!

a/n: Aloha! I'm scared of this fic not getting seen by the anon that requested it bc I thought I had kept another ask by them, were they talked about it being neutral, if possible, but turns out I deleted it (😭) so now I don't know if they see it. IF YOU DO PLS SEND ME AN ASK SAYING YOU SAW IT, I AM BEGING. Btw inspired by you are in love by taylor swift, I thought that was obvious though, kinda want to do a part 2 where you keep his shirt and he keeps his word, but it's just an idea

tags/warnings: not proofread at all, wrote it half-drunk idk if it's obvious lmao, language, mention of reader's hair, taron & reader swooning and dying and being obsessed with eachother, she/her pronouns, drinking, casual love confession, third and first person pov, i think that's all.

word count: no word count bc I was bored, but it's pretty long ig

dividers

"I think being unofficially adopted by Elton was inevitable on set. We've just recognised that only one could be the favourite."

She nods slowly and a grin forms on her face. Taron can't form more of a smile. His cheeks were in pain. Three minutes into the interview and still, not able to answer a question. That's a lie, actually. He could answer a lot of questions. What her favourite song is, the amount of summer fruit she eats in wintertime just because they look cute, the color her eyes have when she sits in front of the sun, every tiny little thing, but that'd be useless in a press tour.

His favourite questions though would be the ones he asked her. The ones about music. How much she relates to Vienna, the guitar solo from Killer Queen, what does she think of the cowboy like me lyrics. Anything she could talk about for hours, he could listen to for hours.

"My back hurts." She whispers to him during the commercial break he didn't realize they were in. "What?"

"My back hurts from carrying this interview. Say something. Otherwise I'm going to die the day Jimmy Fallon makes an interesting conversation point." She whisper-shouts and him.

"I mean it's pretty hard to be hated when you don't have a personality, isn't it?"

He shrugs and smiles at her.

"I feel bad, we're sitting here gossiping about our host. But yeah. True."

She giggles thinking of his joke again. He looks at her as he is trying to keep his smile from exploding. As if he'd laugh with all his teeth if he let go. He's looking at every part of her, his eyes following the curves of her hair, her cheeks with their smile lines, because of her wide beams throughout the years. His eyes going all over her, as if he was scanning her, as if he'd been memorising every little one of her characteristics.

"What's wrong with you today, did I turn into a ghost?" She asks him, smiling.

"What?" He laughs slightly.

"You look at me all the time with that dead fish face. As if you're constantly wondering about something."

"I wonder about a lot of things, I'm a very philosophical man."

"I'm pretty sure that's how Freud's mommy issues started."

"Stop it."

"You stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Being so distracted."

"Only when you stop being so distracting."

"I know, I'm gorgeous but get your shit together."

"You are." He turns to look at her and smiles.

Stunned, she pauses a bit, pursing her lips together. As if she wasn't expecting the compliment. As if he didn't look captivated by every little move she made, the fidgeting of her hands or the twitch of her nose when she was confused. She also turns to look at him.

"Thank you." She lets out a breathy laugh.

"You don't look half bad. Actually, no. You don't look quarter bad! I don't even know if that makes sense, but it felt nice to say." She feels something newfound. Something hopeful and surprising all together. She wondered if he could see it in her eyes, though she hoped he couldn't because it felt vulnerable. She wasn't at ease, she was just delighted enough to only fly right over her safety net. Just in case.

***

As a person I have a lot of qualities, whether people would argue if they're good or bad, I did and they were a lot. Sadly, being patient is not one of them. I have to be distracted from everything at anytime and be constantly stimulated. Sitting down on a makeup and hair chair to be Laura's laboratory animal was one of these activities. One that could bore me very easily, but I also loves doing. It makes her happy to try new things and it makes me happy to see it.

Scrolling on tiktok, I land on a clip from last night's interview, with Taron.

'Currently needing someone to look at me like Taron Egerton looks at his co-stars',

read the caption.

"You're a lucky ass girl." Laura howls seeing my screen from over my head.

I look up and grimace at her.

"You're invading my personal space."

"You are my best friend, I've been invading your personal space since we were 20 and you were crying in the bathroom of a bar because the little umbrellas the cocktails had were 'just too cute'. Get over yourself, he's as cute as the umbrellas, you were thinking it, I said it."

"I- Touché."

Is he?

I mean he's really nice and you'd probably call him charming. And he hears me, which not a lot of people do - including me - anytime i ramble on about... anything.

You could call him cute, yes. He can be funny aswell. It might be the british-ness, I'm not sure. Though, I do enjoy spending time with him.

He's also nice to look at. That sounds weird. He is objectively, and only objectively, really attractive.

"Laura." I say sternly and look up at her through the mirror.

"Mhm..." She's so nonchalant about this. I need some sympathy here!

"You think?" My eyebrows furrow and I tilt my head. I belive I was denying my thoughts more than I was questioning them.

"If you don't, I will. I guarantee you though, I won't be as successful." Her grin makes me frown in thought. At least this is going to be an interesting press tour, isn't it?

***

"I can't say something like that, she'd kill me."

"You smile like an idiot when she talks to you. If she were to kill you she would've already."

"I- I don't think I would mind. I mean, it's from her hands, at least I'd die a happy man."

Richard squints his eyes. "Yes... And you still can't find a way to say that. Uh-huh."

The backstage for their interview had an air, heavier than it needs to be for Taron to process. Variety interview, press event, after-party. That was the schedule for the day, as of 5 minutes prior. Five minutes, in which he felt actually, relaxed. All until we had to shove a 'Confess your immortal passionate love to your co-star (bonus points if she doesn't hate you)' in the To-Do list. Taron thought Richard might, could, maybe, possibly, ever in a million years, be a bit of help.

But he wasn't, he was just being a dick about it, no pun intended. 'Yeah, you're smitten mate.' as if he didn't know that! He didn't need a doctor's diagnosis to tell him he was absolutely and utterly in love. What were the possibilities he wouldn't be? How could anyone not be? He hadn't ever met a more genuine and caring and generous and sweet person in Hollywood. No, fuck Hollywood, his life.

***

Entering the venue hurt him physically. At least that's what it felt like. You cannot judge him, if you had her waving at you from across the room with this wide smile you would've understood. He purses his lips into an upside-down smile he couldn't hold, he would never want to disappoint her like this, but he couldn't wave back of course. He thought he'd faint any moment if he moved. Right, fun. What was he supposed to do, ignore her? Avoid her? That might aswell hurt more. His breath hitched when she began walking over to him. What was wrong with him? He is a confident grown ass man, why does she make him act like that, how does she manage that? Why can she walk in and make the room shine? Why is she so genuinely funny and interesting? How can she be so talented, but at the same time so understanding of others. If it wasn't her Taron wanted to confess to, he'd ask her for advice.

"Thank god you're here! The music is boring, the food is bland and the people are so rich I can't even comprehend if they're talking about their yacht, their Oscar or their villa."

She clearly wasn't doing any better. "Need saving?" he teases and she finds herself chuckling. That's a sweet thought. A nice way to put it. Need a knight to save her from the absolute dread of boredom.

"Yes, Romeo."

"Romeo? I'm flattered."

"You shouldn't be, you die."

"I die in love."

"You die heartbroken, have you read it?"

"Under love's heavy burden do I sink."

"Very well delivered, congratulations."

"Thank you very much."

She smiles and sighes, he's so stupid, it's kind of adorable. What's even more stupid is how stupid he makes her feel. She feels like a fool when she can't come up with a sarcastic comment. She feels like a fool when she notices looking at her and can't even whisper, if ever utter a word. She just smiles. It's annoying.

"Well Romeo and Juliet is pretty fitting, considering you look like you just escaped straight out of some fairytale." He had to gather all his courage and make this compliment, but at least she liked it. No, she loved it. She adored it. It was so adorable, it was so nice. It's a compliment you see being said in books and movies. Made her feel gorgeous, like she was the only one in the room.

"I- Romeo and- Sorry. Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy, not a fairytale." She wasn't sure what else to say and what she did already was supposed to come out way more confident, it didn't. Obviously.

***

I’m not certain how we did so, but we ended up in the backyard of somebody, who knew somebody, who knew somebody who had cheap wine and a good taste in music, but we did. I had a drink in my hand and I was going off about something, but the conversation was changed soon enough. When Taron asked me, how the hell was I single. I looked at him. I squinted and sighed. "Why wouldn't I be? I mean I'm fun and pretty and famous, but who does commitment with a cat lady?! Who would want something long term? Pffft nobody."

I don't think I realised what I was whining on about until I heard him speak up. He said 'Me.' He really said me! It was so foolish, and I was so drunk, but he did say it.

"You."

"Me."

"You're funny."

"Only when I'm joking."

"Fuck. Would you?"

"Would I what?"

"No like, would you actually?"

"...Yeah. Yeah, probably.".

"That's- So you like me?"

"No, I don't think so."

"But-"

"I love you, I believe."

I was just looking at him. I could not function. I thought about the cost of being hospitalised for possible heart abnormalities and cardiac arrest. Saying me too seemed cheaper and more beneficial, so that was what I went with.

"Are you joking?" I let out a breathy laugh, thinking his concerns were ridiculous. "This whole time? Oh my god. I just wasted all this time."

"All this time of what?" He asks and I wonder, how could he not understand? It was so painfully obvious that I wanted him. I craved to hear his laugh and listen to him every day, 'til I would die.

"All this time of not being with you."

His mouth was left a bit agape, but I could see a smile being formed slowly. He just looked at me. With that stupid dead fish face he'd done at first. Laura's gonna love this.

"Could you do me a favour?" I look at him and chuckle.

"What is it?"

"Could you say it again?" I smile, tight lipped.

"I love you."

[avisisisis]

@thebrainrotsreal HEY SORRY FOR TAGGING(? PINGING(? U, ITS ABOUT THE AU. I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE THE OTHER POST THAT LONG LMAO

FLYING BEING NATURAL TO VILTRUMITES MY BELOVED

ASJDAJSD MARK TRYING TO GET AWAY W SLIGHTLY HOVERING(? IN A WAY THAT IS BARELY NOTICEABLE TO ANYONE BUT HE CAN'T DO IT WHILE HE WALKS BC HE JUST, DEFAULTS TO ACTUAL FLYING

mark and wasp are the same height, and they hate it almost as much as they hate each other. even if wasp is older than mark (read somewhere he could be 20, not sure tho), he'd still look 17 bc of the weird viltrumite aging thing

so basically they'll stay the same size for about 500 years. this is what nolan meant when he said mark would suffer...

ANYWAY. That thing abt them wanting to be taller than the other made me laugh and reminded me of a shadowpeach hc i posted on 2022(? LMAO

gonna use the same hc w them too

so. they're out as invincible (they still haven't decided on a name yet. wasp says he's stronger and therefore should be called invincible, but mark points out that he's the one in charge and also that this dimension is his. mark gets to keep it. they're still arguing about what to name wasp) ("why don't you just go by "vincible"?" "no.")

mark is talking to some gda agent or a cop or smth, when he notices that wasp (who is looking at the sky w the most bored expression he can muster, bc he genuinely doesn't understand why they have to talk to such inferior beings) seems to be just, a few milimeters taller than him (he may be shit at schoolwork, but if you hate someone enough you can notice the smallest details about them)

he, w/o stopping the conversation, answers to this by floating just a little higher, barely noticeable to the human eye

ofc, i said "human" eye

wasp notices. he flies higher

mark flies higher too

eventually he's screaming instead of talking bc of how far down the cop is

wasp laughs. now mark is screaming at him

they fight

ALSO WASP REFUSING TO STOP FLOATING AS A CIVILLAIN IS SO FUNNY AJDSHFASJ, IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF TROUBLE HE'LL GET MARK INTO

PLS. THEM TRYING TO GNAW THEIR ARMS OFF BC THEY HATE BEING NEAR EACH OTHER SM ASJFHADJFH

most normal ppl r used to mark working alone as invincible. so since wasp really doesn't do interviews and he's usually too fast to see when he fights, no one really knows what his name even is

and everyone is used to invincible being. well. invincible. sure, the news say that when he's around this guy he gets a little meaner, but it can't be that bad!

it is that bad

wasp says smth mean n sarcastic. everyone expects invincible to answer w something equally sarcastic, but not as mean (maybe making fun of how his suit looks). they do not expect invincible to just fucking bite him after 8 of those comments

wasp keeps trying to kill This One Kid, who is either super brave or super stupid and won't stop asking him questions (they go from "what's your name?" to "what underwear do you have? do you even need underwear?" in a matter of seconds) for his weird school diary thingy

he can't get close, bc mark starts pulling the other way. besides, they're stuck together, and killing people would seem awfully annoying if it's with this guy

they can't punch each other, so wasp bites him. they bite each other a lot bc of the "no punching (or kicking)" thing

"Wasp throws a car at Mark which Mark instinctively swats away and then goes flying after it to prevent it from slamming into a building. Wasp cackles so hard it gets hit by a laser beam to the throat by some other bad guy." ASJDSAJDHDSJFAH YES THAT'S SO FUNNY

they mess w each other sm

it's funny bc they do the same things to annoy each other (wasp throwing a car at mark, mark hitting him with a tree, etc) , but lose their shit when the other does it to them

they're basically this:

mark, sleep deprived, flies straight into a lamp post

wasp laughs at him. he actually laughs so hard he runs into the same lamp post

there are a lot of compilations on youtube that is just them laughing at each other mid fight and running into things or being hit w stuff the other throws at them

they grow more wild every time

it goes from throwing cars, to throwing real life dinosaurs (mark doesn't want to talk about it) (wasp absolutely does)

"Cecil remarks Mark handled something well and he looks like Cecil just told him his entire family got slaughtered."

THISSS

"you did well today. hella efficient, quick and straight to the point. who taught you that?"

mark: D:

and also,

"oh, wow. you saved an entire family and their cat from a villain that wanted to turn them into zombies while mark was off fighting the bad guys? that's great!"

and wasp. cries

"oh no, no, you think I'm gonna help you?" THIS TISHTISHTSIHIST

this really feels like smth he'd say in canon. he'd say it w a smile, half-shocked half just pretending out of amusement

he'd laugh too

it's the same type of cocky tone of voice sinister mark/wasp used when teasing angstrom

"I gotta imagine if they tackle things separately, they are also allowing each other to do they want and like to do?" YEAH!!

it's hard 'cause wasp always wants to take the bad guys on alone, but mark also likes to fight (just not w the same brutality) and he doesn't want to be just a lifeguard

it takes wasp a while (a LONG while) to stop tackling mark when he's about to attack to get to the enemy himself, or to kick mark into the next country, etc etc etc

but eventually they settle on mark getting everyone to safety while wasp stalls the bad guy. then, after he's sure no one's here anymore, they both fight the villain together

or uh. they try. sometimes they'll start fighting each other too so it's less of a 1 v 2 fight and more of a... 1v1 V another 1 fight lol

"Mark's own reaction that truly confirms it to be true"

he gets the episode 8 levels of anger and anguish

HE'S JUST SO MAD

wasp is talking shit on tv and he just loses it

he immediatly flies off and tackles wasp into fucking space

i mean, they do say that actions say more than words, right?

mark is usually making the typical superhero noises when he's fighting, but now? he's just focusing all of his anger into This One Motherfucker

wasp loves it

it's a "see? i knew you had it in you!" type of moment

he's been longing for a real fight for a WHILE

they don't kill each other but it comes close

see, the things is. they are the same person. it's easy to start viewing them as two separate beings, but they're really. not

they're evenly matched in everything

this is why wasp likes fighting mark

this is why mark doesn't like fighting wasp (never ending battles are boring to him) ( he likes to win more than to fight. i mean it's not like he enjoys getting beat up)

we could dive deeper and start talking about the self-destructive tendency these two have to getting beat up. i mean, wasp's idea of a real, actually enjoyable fight is when the other is either able to beat him, or when he can kill ppl. and mark spends sm time out as invincible, neglecting his social life and mental health to the point he quits college, and he gets beat up a lot while doing it. so yeah--

self-destructive tendencies

"-having to confront he sees the exact thing in Wasp to a slightly different degree" i will ALWAYS love making them deal with the constant reminders that they're the same person

they deal w stuff in similar ways but to different degrees and realizing that gives them psychic damage like that magic squirrel in mca so they just preted they don't exist

unless it's to like. bring the other to their side

"you like fighting too. violence is in you, it's part of you. you're always covered in blood. all that's left, would be your hands" VS "you're me, and i'm you. we have similar thoughts, and that means i- y'know. but it means you are, too. you have a chance. and get that blood off you-- you need a shower"

COMICS!! AND!! WASP!!

yeah

HIM HAVING TO CONFRONT THE FACT THAT THE DESTROYING OF HIS WORLD HURT HIM TOO

because it is, in a way, his world too

he grew up in it. raised differently, yes, but still on earth

he was always different from the rest, getting his powers at an early age and all, but it's still the place he grew up in

not all the memories from it can be bad, right?

ANDDDDD... wasp reminding ppl of how strong he is regularly

"i could pull out your spine in a second." he says that out of nowhere, in a conversation that would've seemed normal to literally anyone else. he says it like it's nothing much. "i could kill you." you know he could, but you still wonder

would he? with how he is, with his inability to escape --- would he?

also he has fun when he watches the color drain from their faces

"Rudy has psychological profiles on all his friends he regularly updates like a diary, and he has one for himself too." NO BUT THIS IS SO IN CHARACTER FOR HIM

wasp talks shit about mark to anyone avaliable and rudy is no exception. even tho he finds him deeply annoying

honestly wasp is capable of doing p much anything to mess with mark

HE JST WOULD

the self-hatred is strong with this one too master!!! (sw ref again lol)

ASDJASJDSJAD THE BETTING POOL

wasp saying mark breathes annoyingly is such a sibling thing tho. "why are you chewing like that" "stop biting your stupid fork" "the way you cut your food is so weird" "your handwriting sucks, don't hold the pencil like that" etc etc etc

ANDD "he knew what wasp was going to say" DUDE YES??

he's talking and he gets. a feeling. and he turns to wasp, who is opening his mouth, and says "don't you fucking dare"

same w wasp. mark is annoying little shit too sometimes, he's also a teenager. so he infuriates wasp too

mark calls him a hypocrite

THE TWIN TERRORS OF HEROISM I CAN'T

imagine if ppl actually start calling them that tho

one day wasp calls mark to their? his? room and is like, "holy shit look at this" and shows him their? his computer

mark doesn't understand, until he sees the title and image of the video

"the twin terrors of heroism, terrorizing the terrorists once again" and its a picture of them kicking ass

"twin terrors of-- oh, come on, really?" "yes" "they couldnt have at least called us the invincibles or something?" "that'd be even worse" "...alright, i'll give you that" "..." "...." "they think we're like the fucking mauler twins" "oh you have got to be--"

ALSO this is so funny, them being like "mark/wasp" when they show up hurt or smth. everyone just learning to accept it. i mean what are they going to do. fight against two gods??

ha

AND YES YES YES DO TAG ME IN IT!!!! if i make anything about this au (posts, fics, drawings, u name it) i will tag u too

alcohol doesn't really affect viltrumites i think, but there has got to be something that gets them drunk

nolan could've taught wasp how to make it. if the ingredients are on earth, then he would maybe try to prepare it on mark's earth. mark shows up and sees that he's drunk. he goes "nope" and gets drunk too, maybe on accident maybe not. debbie shows up and sees her two superpowered sons sobbing over a bowl of popcorn

alternate version: gasoline gets them drunk

[bluehourbucky]

how to win a fight

pairing: bucky x f!reader

summary: you always cheat your way into winning a fight and bucky doesn't mind

a/n: silly short drabble bc I saw a tiktok enjoy :)

MASTERLIST

Bucky hated fighting with you. It wasn't happening a lot but he still hated it. Both of you were aware of the fact that silly fights won't break you apart. Bucky knew he would spend the rest of his life with you, and vice versa.

However there was an unfair advantage you always used against Bucky so you would win a fight. Bucky would lie if he said it bothered him that you always won fights.

Right now Bucky was pacing around the house angrily. He was so tired of you leaving you bag next to the door since he always tripped on it.

"I told you so many times to not leave it there! We have so many places in the house for you to put it down!" Bucky groaned.

"I thought you would be used to it by now! If you know it's there you should be able to not trip on it!"

Your reply clearly did not satisfy Bucky as he ran his hand through his hair, which he often did when annoyed or stressed.

"You're not hearing me! I do not want it to be there it's really annoying and this isn't the first time I told you this! I just-"

As Bucky was ranting all you could think about was how cute and attractive he looks, and how at the end of the day you will have it your way. So you did what you always did when you got bored of Bucky's rants. You flashed him.

"OH NO YOU DON'T! THIS-"

He stopped in the middle of the sentence trying not to look at you, suppressing his smile. You smiled mischievously, you always win like this and you don't even know why he's even trying.

"I'm not that weak! You have to-"

Obviously you flashed him again and Bucky had to bite his lip and look up to the ceiling. He was losing and he didn't like it one bit(a lie).

"You can't just win!"

he got flashed again.

"Are you sure?" you kept your shirt up giggling, absolutely enjoying this. You had him wrapped around your finger not only now but always.

"You're impossible." Bucky smiled and made his way toward you. He lifted you and threw you over his shoulder slapping your butt, which earned another laugh out of you.

"You win this time but this time only!" you rolled your eyes at the familiar promise from all the previous times.

"This time I mean it." Bucky said as he ripped all the clothes off of you and burying his head between your thighs. He was also aware of how big of a lie that was but he didn't care not now or ever.

[tealeafgrimm]

hii! if requests are still open, could i get a percy weasley and reader fic where shes a slytherin and theyre late to class bcs they were busy ;);) and they show up with each others tie?? she turns up to class in a hurry and mcgonagall is like "miss Y/L/N, the last time i saw the slytherin tie is green" and percy shows up behind her wearing a slytherin tie and minervas like "both of you,my office after class" but shes smirking and everyone else is like yOo and teases them??? Thanks!!

Thank you so much for the request. This was a fun little one shot to write, I hope you like it !

Wrong Tie

Percy Weasley x Slytherin!Reader

Words: 688

Summary: After a heated make-out session, you and Percy are late for class. You try your best to limit the damage. In vain.

The corridors were empty and extraordinarily quiet. Or maybe it just seemed so quiet because both yours and Percy's footsteps echoed off the stone walls like roaring thunder.

Completely out of breath and trying to block out your side stitches, you turned the next corner frantically. With a quick glance behind you, you made sure your boyfriend was following.

"Come on Percy! Every second longer only makes it worse!" you shouted behind you.

"I'm running as fast as I can! In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the most athletic of my brothers and besides, I'm still trying to fix this damn tie," came the gasping reply.

"Just leave the tie off!" "I'm a prefect, I can't just walk around like I'm..."

"You certainly shouldn't be late for class either! I had said the bell rang!"

Your steps slowed as you arrived at the final staircase. For a second you stopped and tried to control your breathing before you started up the stairs, taking two steps at a time.

"Yes yes, I know it's my fault we're both late. But I can't remember you complaining or making any moves to leave at all costs."

At last, you saw the classroom door. In a last attempt to look presentable, you tucked your school uniform skirt into place and tried in vain to straighten your blouse. Next to you, Percy tried to straighten his hair to some extent, but was equally unsuccessful.

“Ready?”, you whispered to the boy next to you. He nodded and you could tell he mentally already tried to think of some excuse to come up with, as to why the two of you were late.

Of course, the door had to squeak loudly when you opened it, so that even the last of your classmates noticed that someone was late. All faces were turned towards you. Some looked curious, others bored and still others had difficulty suppressing a laugh. You knew you and Percy must look like plucked chickens.

"Nice of the both of you to grace us with your presence," Professor McGonagall's voice rang out from the front of the class. Of all things, you had to be late to her class. Why couldn't it be Professor Flitwick or Sprout, they were much more relaxed about tardiness.

Before you could even think, the words spilled out of you. Percy next to you, however, did exactly the same, so that your words overlapped and not a single sentence could be properly understood.

"We're really sorry..." "You know we would never intentionally..." "...stopped and..." "... as quickly as possible..." "...disappointed in us..." "...really understand, but..."

You didn't really know yourself what you or Percy were actually getting at, but somehow you both finished your rushed apology almost simultaneously.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Oliver Wood turn to one of your best friends and whisper something to her, at which she couldn't help giggling.

"I'm not interested in your excuses Miss Y/L/N, Mister Weasley. I want to see you both in my office after class and now sit down, you've held us up enough already."

"Yes Professor," you and Percy both murmured meekly before heading to your respective seats in the classroom.

You could have sworn you saw the hint of a grin on Professor McGonagall's face when she turned back to the blackboard. And a second later, you knew why.

"And it seems like you may have forgotten, but only the Slytherins wear green Mister Weasley." Shocked, you looked over at Percy, only to see your green tie fastened around his neck. A second glance in your bag confirmed that you had packed his.

Percy's face resembled a tomato's and you could feel the blush creeping up your face as well. Your classmates couldn't help laughing now and with your head down you dropped down next to your best friend.

"I swear one word from you and I'll kill you!" you hissed at her. With her hands up, she turned back to her lessons, but you could be sure that she would tease you about this situation for at least a week.