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#i mean a lot of people would LIKE to damn well get married and they fucking can't so maybe we should talk abt that instead
dotster001 · 2 years
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Hello! I really liked your fanfic about mistletoe and I would like to submit my application. Can you write what type of girl the characters in the twisted wonderland like?
What Kind of Girl they Like
Summary: Fem! Reader What girl the twisted wonderland boys say they will fall for, versus who they will be attracted to.
CW: Fem! Reader, some of the boys are assholes with their answers, it's explained away in the who they end up with section, so take it with a grain of salt, also these are just my opinions. If you don't agree that's ok!
A/n:it is truly humbling how few of these I actually fit the description of 😭 also, feel free to send in an ask if you want the staff and non nrc boys, or a masc. Reader version (there are some differences for some of them for a male lover)
Masc Version gn! Version
Heartslaybul 
Ace Trappola
What he says
"I dunno, she'd have a great bod and make me sandwiches. Kidding! Sevens, don't glare at me like that, I was just messing with ya! She's probably smart, and sweet as sugar, and let's me get into trouble. And a great bod wouldn't hurt- hey don't throw stuff at me!"
Who he ends up with
Ace is going to be naturally attracted to a girl he can "bring out the worst in."  She probably starts out shy and quiet, then Ace adopts her into his friend group, and now they are sassing each other back and forth. She calls him out on his bullshit, and fights against his teasing with teasing of her own. But she also takes care of him when he's down. He's hiding a lot of insecurity under his cool guy exterior, so if she lets him snuggle, and lets him whine, and then whispers how much she loves him, he'll be a happy man. Also, side note, he's fine if you like sports, but if you know nothing about basketball, it means he gets to look really good when you come to his games. Just saying….
Deuce Spade
What he says
"Huh, I've never really thought about it. Um, I guess she's nice and funny, and isn't scared of my past. I'd also want her to be a little like you, Y/N….not that I like you! Well, I like you, not like like you, shit I'm sorry! This isn't sounding any better…"
Who he ends up with
He really means it when he says he wants someone like you. You're one of his first friends, and, in his mind, the person you date/marry should be your best friend. But if it's not you he ends up with, he will probably be attracted to a girl who's book smart, but less street smart. A little "dumb" like him, in a cute kind of way. He likes a cuddler, and maybe a girl who is shorter than him so that he can feel like he's swallowing her whole when he wraps his arms around her. Also, someone who encourages him and helps him with his homework/paperwork. 
Riddle Rosehearts
What he says
"I don't have time for a relationship right now….but I think I want someone well behaved who follows the rules- what are you smirking at? Just because you're a rule breaker doesn't mean every girl is. I'd also like her to be in the medical profession. You know, someone who works the same profession as me so we have similar interests."
Who he ends up with
As much as he hates to admit it…he's attracted to rule breakers. Not as bad as Ace obviously, he's not trying to go gray early. But if she says something like "let's have a non herbal tea" when it's time for only herbal tea…damn what a rush. By the time he gets serious with someone, he'll be confident enough in himself to cut ties with his mother, so she has to be strong willed, and willing to live off of a low budget for a while.  He'll need someone understanding, who knows he'll have relapses and be too much and too angry sometimes, and she has to be understanding of that, and encouraging of improvement, or he'll live with guilt for the rest of his life. 
Trey Clover
What he says
"Someone who's willing to settle down and grow fat and old with me. You're laughing, but I'm going to be running my parents bakery, and feeding people is my love language. Speaking of, you better finish off that slice of cake before the others steal it."
Who he ends up with
Trey isn't that picky. He really means it when he says he wants someone to get old and fat with. That's his dream. Running a bakery with his wife by his side, and growing old together as your own kids grow up and bring home their own spouses. But he also wants a girl he can blindside with his sadistic side. Someone who'll enjoy that side of him, but also someone who easily forgets it's there. It makes things more fun for him.
Cater Diamond
What he says
"Ha ha someone trendy and totes hot. Someone totally cammable. Aw, are you jealous? Don't worry, you'll always be my fave girlie, even if you're not the girl I love."
Who he ends up with
Cater wants someone who won't disappear when he looks away. Yes, if she's "cammable" that's the first thing he's looking for, but when all is said and done, if she seems like she's going to be flaky, he won't take it too seriously either, as a defense mechanism. He needs a girl with mental endurance, because he's going to spend the beginning of the relationship trying to scare her off. Not that he wants to, he just needs to know he won't be left alone like he usually is. He is going to be attracted to a girl who humors his trends and magicam addiction, but who also sees through him. Someone balanced.  She sees the real Cay Cay, but she's also willing to be his "trophy wife" online.
Savannaclaw
Jack Howl
What he says
"Oh, I uh, well someone who can keep up on a run with me I guess…"
Who he ends up with
Jack says he wants someone who can work out with him. And he would really be happy if he had a girl who was as active as him…but he'd also be happy with a curvy girl. He gets blushy thinking about holding someone soft and plush against his firm muscles. But he's flexible. In the end he won't choose his future wife based on appearance and activity. Wolf beastmen mate for life, so the main thing he is looking for is loyalty. Loyalty, and someone who would want to raise lots of kids with him. As long as you have those two traits, nothing else really matters to him.
Ruggie Bucchi
What he says
"Girlfriends are expensive, shihihi. Tell you what, you find me a lady with sticky fingers, and we'll eat the rich together."
Who he ends up with
This is a deflection. Ruggie loves the idea of a busy business wife, while he is a trophy househusband, cooking and cleaning for his high powered  lady. He wants a strong woman who will scratch his ears and tell him he did such a good job! Then he'll draw her a bath, and massage her feet as she tells him about her day, then they'll snuggle and make out until they fall asleep…that's the dream anyway. He can be a little worker bee until you rise through the ranks, which you will, Ruggie has absolute faith in you. You guys can rob people early on if you have to. In short…Ruggie wants a dommish woman who will call him a good boy and keep him well fed.
Leona Kingscholar
What he says
"Body pillow"
"That's not-"
"Body pillow"
Who he ends up with
He's going to be attracted to a strong woman who whips his ass into shape. Someone who says, "Hey bitch, you're going to therapy, cause I love you and want you to be happy!" And then she actually makes him go. And when he does go, she rewards him with snuggles, and soft kisses. He wants a woman who's never scared of him, who's self assured, and is certain and vocal about her feelings for him.
Also, she has to accept that nighttime is when she's a body pillow. That's an absolute must.
Octavinelle
Azul Ashengrotto
What he says
"Why do you wish to know? Are you attempting to reach my standards? Ha ha, let's see. A woman who is ethereal, who is willing to dress stunningly, and sit in my lap when I make deals, so that competitors can see what a high value man I am."
Who he ends up with
If that didn't make you want to throw up 🤢. He'll be attracted to someone who makes him feel beautiful in subtle ways. He knows how easy it is to spin a verbal web of lies. But there's some things you can't fake. Like allowing someone to rest on your lap, and caressing their hair. Or squeezing someone's hand gently when you have to let go. Or pressing a kiss to someone's cheek after you help them straighten their outfit. It's the soft romantic moments that'll speak to Azul when he finds his love. Aside from that, he's not looking for anything in particular. Just someone who makes him feel loved and beautiful.
Jade Leech
What he says
"Fu fu who's to say? Perhaps you are the woman of my dreams. Or not."
Who he ends up with
She's a woman who can see through him. She's someone who never compares him or confuses him for his twin. She's smart. Very smart. She eats his mushrooms and goes on hikes with him. She is patient with Floyd. What Jade is looking for….is female Jade. Someone like that is the only one who can truly keep up with him.
Floyd Leech
What he says
"Aw Shrimpy! Are you worried? Don't worry, whoever she is, I'll still squeeze ya!"
Who he ends up with
He's looking for someone fun. That's his only criteria. At least that's what he says. He can't be sure if he loves her because she's fun, or if she's fun because he loves her. In that sense, it's sort of a soulmate situation for Floyd. Whatever will be will be. He'll just know. 
Also she has to be squeezable. 
Scarabia
Kalim al Asim
What he says
"I love everybody!"
"But-"
"Have some of this ice cream, it's amazing!"
Who he ends up with
He wants someone he can spoil, but he doesn't know that. It's something in his subconscious. He doesn't want things in exchange either. So she has to be someone who is okay with being spoiled, and doesn't feel guilty about it. He's going to be attracted to someone who loves life like him, but also helps to keep him grounded. And if she has a spark of danger in her, oh man, he'll be simping so hard. 
Jamil Viper
What he says
"I'm not going to even think about it until my freedom is assured. Kalim has promised, but it would be irresponsible to force someone into servitude with me."
Who he ends up with
Jamil is going to be attracted to a hard worker. Someone who's dedicated, and slightly serious. He's also looking for a girl who will see how hard he works, and pampers him from time to time. He's never been in charge of anything, so he likes being the boss of the household. Not that he doesn't see her as an equal! On the contrary, he wants his marriage to be a partnership. But the idea of having somewhere where he is king is definitely something he likes. She can rule the house from as well. They can split the time they rule over the household. They'll take turns being served and pampered.
Pomefiore
Epel Felmier
What he says
"Um, she knows I'm the boss. Wait, that came out misogynistic, sorry I jus mean she knows I'm manly and can support her an all that."
Who he ends up with
He says he wants a cutsie tiny housewife, so that he can be the manly man at the manliest job for mans. He really will be attracted to any girl who doesn't doubt his masculinity, nor call him cute. Someone who tells him that they feel safe and secure with him. He says he wants a short wife. But he's fine with any size or shape as long as she sees him as someone who can care for her. 
Rook Hunt
What he says
"Mademoiselle trickster, I can find beauty in every woman."
Who he ends up with
What he says is actually true. He can and will fall in love with every kind of woman. It's hard to say who he will tie himself to, in the end. It'll be someone who he heavily bonds with and imprints on. It's a lot like with Floyd. Essentially a soulmate situation.
Vil Schoenheit
What he says
"Hm. Why do you want to know, potato? I suppose she's professional, and beautiful, and cares about her image enough that she doesn't cause a scandal."
Who he ends up with
The thing about Vil is, he's not that far off from Rook in his take on beauty. He doesn't so much believe in conventional beauty, or societal beauty standards. He knows everyone has an individual definition of health and beauty. When he says he's looking for a beautiful woman, he's looking for someone who's willing to reach her full potential. Or, more accurately, to allow him to help her reach her full potential. Vil never admits it, but he adores pampering and styling people. His love language is helping people look their best. So if she's someone who knows herself enough to know what style she likes, he'll appreciate it, and take up the mantle of doing the hard work, ie making outfits, styling hair and makeup, formulating skin care etc. TLDR, he wants a confident self possessed woman he can dress like a doll, and show off.
Ignihyde
Idia Shroud
What he says
"-------------" mutes ipad.
In his head, he doesn't think any woman would ever love him. But his dream woman is a sexy anime cat girl.
Who he ends up with
What he'll be attracted to is someone who is patient, speaks at a reasonable volume, and is assertive enough to make him leave his room. Essentially, winning Idia's heart is a siege. You'll have to starve him out. That's the patience bit. The reasonable volume comes from him being easily scared by loud noises. Assertive enough to make him leave his room…well that speaks for itself. He wants to believe he can be part of the outside world, and the girl he will fall for will be willing to show it to him.
Diasomnia
Sebek Zigvolt
What he says
"She is someone of noble bearing, who shall help me defend my liege!"
Who he ends up with
He'll fall for a woman who is stronger, mentally, physically, etc., than him. A woman who can put him in his place. A woman who speaks, and it makes him shut up, and sit pretty. She's assertive, and can come off as abrasive to others but to Sebek? Sevens, he'd die for a smidgen of her affection.
Silver
What he says
"I don't think it's worth it to try and define the girl I'll fall in love with. There are so many wonderful women, and my father always told me that love is the greatest mystery in this world. Who's to say who I'll fall in love with?"
Who he ends up with
Silver will fall for someone soft. The entire romance will be soft. Soft caresses in the moonlight. Soft kisses in the morning. Soft fingers gently intertwining.  She'll be empathetic about his sleep condition, never blaming him since it's not his fault. She'll be gentle with his animal friends. She'll be sweet and kind and the very image of a Disney Princess. I'm picturing Aurora, actually. How ironic.
Lilia Vanrouge
What he says
"Fu Fu Fu wouldn't you like to know."
Who he ends up with
Lilia can and has fallen for every kind of woman. He's lived a long time. He's had the time to romance lots of women.  What he'd probably fall for in this stage of his life, is someone he can tease, and play around with, but who is also ready to settle down a little bit. Someone who enjoys the little things in life. He's getting a little old. He wants to build onto his family that he already has. Silver can stand to have three or ten more siblings, right?
Malleus Draconia
What he says
"You."
Who he ends up with
You.
....
Tag list-@shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0 @lleoll @eccedentesiast-sapphic
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look-at-the-soul · 6 months
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Every little thing you do- Part 2
Tommy Shelby x reader
Series Master list
Thank you so much for giving this little idea so much love 💕 it means a lot! Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts
Word count: 2,695
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The house was quiet, it was probably pretty late by now, but at least the initial commotion was calmer now. Tommy’s eyes focused on the flame flickering on the bedside table, the room was quiet. Then his eyes darted to Y/N… his best friend seemed so vulnerable, so small. He had seen the marks her father left on her back it was a horrible sight and now it looked worse. As if her life wasn’t complicated enough by the unplanned pregnancy, Y/N would have to deal with the physical pain as well.
He studied Y/N’s face for a minute, taking in the swollen eyes from crying too much, his heart aches for her, she didn’t deserve to be treated like this. She held a special place close to his heart since they were kids.
“Do you’ve a minute?” Polly asked.
As she realized the doubt in her nephew’s eyes, she assured him that Y/N would sleep for a while. After cleaning her injuries and adding a strong ointment to the wounds on her back, Polly checked the baby and gave Y/N a tea to help her sleep.
Tommy gave Y/N one more look and covered her arm with the thin sheet, but was careful enough to not hurt her before he walked out of what was once Ada’s room in Watery Lane.
“What happened?” He found Polly downstairs stomping her cigarette on the ashtray. Earlier, she didn’t ask questions, she just rushed to take care of Y/N’s wounds just she had done so many times when they were kids, and eventually teenagers on the brick of trouble every time.
“Y/N is pregnant, the son of a bitch told her he wasn’t sure the baby is his.”
“And that’s why her father hit her like that?!” She asked scandalized. “He’s an animal.”
“How’s the baby, really?” He asked with genuine concern.
Polly sighed. “She was smart to offer her back, so the belt wouldn’t hit in any compromising area, but I’d keep her in bed just in case.” She suggested.
“Tommy,” Scudboat apologized for the interruption, “we found the vehicle, Scott has been hiding in the house, do you want the men to enter and get him?”
Leaning on the counter, Tommy considered his options for a few seconds. “No, keep someone watching his house at all times, he might try to escape.”
As the blinder left him again alone with his aunt, Tommy expressed out loud a decision he had already made.
“We can’t leave her alone Pol.” He clenched his jaw. “She’s on her own, that bastard just used her and her family won’t help her with the baby yo-you saw how they hurt her.”
“I know.” She added breathlessly stopping for a second as she got the kettle. “They turned their backs on her when she needed them the most.”
“Sort a doctor tomorrow morning to make sure they’ll be fine.”
“And then what?” Pol stared at him.
“I just got a house, still needs a few things… I can take Y/N there, because if she stays here, she’ll see her parents all damn day.”
“In the meantime if she needs another place, there’s my house as well.”
Tommy folded his arms against his chest and nodded profusely.
“Poor Y/N… she’ll have a hard time with people pointing fingers at her all the time.” Polly shook her head.
Tommy remembered the long stares and whispers over Ada, when she suddenly got married and started showing no long after. He had been forced to walk around with the gun in his hand for several weeks. They even kicked her out of a boutique once she tried buying a dress and Tommy had to stop by with a few men until his sister got the dress that she wanted.
“I’ll blind anyone who dares to do something against Y/N.” He stated firmly pouring some whiskey finally.
“What happened?” Finn asked looking from his brother to his aunt.
“If anyone asks,” Tommy pointed a finger at him, “you haven’t seen Y/N here alright?”
Finn frowned. “But I haven’t seen her.”
“Exactly.” Tommy agreed walking towards the fireplace, he added a few pieces of wood and then took a seat in front of it. Pondering on the previous events, worry installed on his shoulders of what might happen. Anger spreading on his body at the thought of his best friend being humiliated by her useless boyfriend, after all she had done for the prick and he had the audacity to doubt the baby was his. Thanks to her, Scott got the chance to be a blinder, and with that endless benefits.
One of his men knocked desperately and as Tommy went to see what was happening he heard the best news of the day.
“We followed Scott, he was at the train station.”
He took the remaining of his drink in a swing. “Was?”
“The boys took him to the warehouse, he had a ticket to escape.”
Tommy gave his aunt a look. “If Y/N wakes up, send someone to let me know.”
As Polly saw them disappear, her eyes darted upwards, in a silent prayer. She knew Scott wouldn’t live a day without regretting his decision. Taking her cup of tea with her, she decided to look for some clothes and clean sheets to provide to Y/N while they sorted everything out.
Y/N was considered part of the family, she and Tommy had always been close, in a way Y/N was the only person who could understand her nephew. The one who he trusted the most.
She decided to go to the church the following morning to light a candle and pray for Y/N and the baby.
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Taking a deep breath and one of her eyes cracked a bit open. As everything started to hurt so bad, her chest felt heavy as memories from what had happened hit Y/N hard. Word by word her parents had said replayed in her mind.
A single tear rolled down from her eye to her nose. With trembling fingers, Y/N moved one of her hands to the yet non-existent bump. It was still early to start showing but she couldn’t help but think her baby was starting to grow inside her.
Despite the circumstances, Y/N felt like giving her own life for this baby. It didn’t matter that Scott or her family decided to leave her.
Tommy opened the door carefully to not wake Y/N up, but to his surprise she was already awake.
“Go on… say it.” She was waiting for Tommy’s lecture.
Scott had turned his back just like her parents. All the people she thought she could rely on showed her to not take them for granted.
But Tommy shook his head.
“How are you feeling?” He asked taking the chair in the corner to place it next to the bed.
“Like a total failure.” She admitted with tears in her eyes.
“Y/N.” Tommy didn’t know what to say to make her feel better, to help her. “Hey, look at me.” He spoke softly and covered one of her hands with his own.
Y/N started biting the inside of her cheek to prevent more tears to come out. But looked at her best friend anyways.
“You’re not alone, I know you’ve a lot to take in at the moment… but you can count on me for everything.” He offered sincerely.
She didn’t feel worth any of this, she felt dirty, stupid for believing in Scott’s love words. How could she have been so naïve?
“Why?” Her voice broke. “Why do you want to help me when I’ve done everything wrong?”
“Don’t do this to yourself.” Tommy swallowed hard. “Don’t let them get in your head, I know how it is, but this isn’t your fault.”
“Of course it is! I gave myself away to Scott, I’m just another whore.”
Tommy lost his control, he didn’t want her to feel this way.
“You’re not a whore. You did it out of love and that’s not something to regret.”
“I deserve this, my father is right.” Y/N shook her head, she angrily wiped a tear away.
“No, you don’t deserve this shit happening. Y/N you’re a good woman an-”
Y/N’s grandmother asked if she could walk into the room. Tommy felt grateful for the interruption because he didn’t know how to deal this situation. He didn’t want to say that he had warned Y/N about her now ex boyfriend and make her feel worse than she already did.
“I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”
At least he got a chance last night at the warehouse to make the bastard pay for playing with Y/N’s heart. Tommy made it very clear he better disappear from her life for good because if he ever saw him again, he wouldn’t let him walk twice alive.
He had been a few punches away from killing Scott. But the image of Y/N holding a baby in her arms stopped him… he wouldn’t be responsible for killing that baby’s father, even though Scott definitely deserved it. So he limited himself to leave a little warning, a message.
“This is a mess, Y/N feels so guilty for getting into this.” Tommy announced walking into the kitchen. He found his sister and aunt making breakfast.
Tommy’s eyes fixed on Karl and he was taken back in time to when Ada thought he had betrayed Freddie. He was a lot of things, but he’d never cause a pain like that to a child. At least not one of his own people.
From the beginning, he knew Scott was a piece of shit, but Y/N seemed so happy and thrilled, how would he step in to destroy her happiness? He never imagined he’d have to help her pick up the broken pieces of her heart. The sudden presence of Polly close to him made him snap back into reality, she stepped closer to help him light the cigarette that was hanging from his mouth.
Tommy moved his eyes towards his nephew, he was playing with a truck on the floor. Perhaps he was overthinking but he didn’t know what would he answer when Y/N’s child asked about his or her father.
“Ada would you talk to Y/N?”
“About what?”
“When you got pregnant…” he began with embarrassment in his eyes to talk about that. “It’s something similar.”
They’ve come a long way ever since, but Tommy still regretted the time they spent apart. Family was everything to him.
“And what do you want me to say Tommy? Her boyfriend dumped her, it’s not the same I got married.”
He sighed in frustration. “I just want Y/N to feel our support.”
“You’re going to make her feel overwhelmed! I know how noisy you can be.” Ada protested.
Tommy scoffed, he felt offended by his sister’s words. He just wanted to help Y/N.
“I’ll talk to her.” Polly intervened placing some food on a tray to give Y/N.
“Thank you.”
Ada clicked her tongue and crossed her arms. Her eyes boring into her brother.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
But Ada turned the corner of her mouth down and shuddered. “Nothing it’s just strange to see you go above and beyond for someone.”
As she walked out of the kitchen, Tommy found himself thinking of her words. She was telling the truth but… but how could he stand there and do nothing for Y/N?
He knew her like the palm of his hand, she had been by his side since forever, encouraging him to follow his dreams, telling him the truth right in his face when he messed up. Even he didn’t want to hear it.
There was no other way to do this, she’d have his entire support through the pregnancy and whatever she might need afterwards.
“Mr. Shelby!” Y/N’s grandmother shouted from upstairs.
Tommy skipped a few steps and when he reached Ada’s old room, he found Polly holding Y/N’s hair back, she had been sick and her grandmother was trying to hold her trembling body.
“I’m sorry Pol. Sorry.”
“Why are you sorry for? With everything you’ve been through it’s not a surprise your stomach can’t handle food. Tommy help me here.” His aunt asked him to take her place so Y/N could use his strength as support. “Take her to that chair, while I sort this out.”
Following Polly’s instructions, Tommy lead Y/N carefully to the chair in the corner while his aunt and Y/N’s grandma changed the bedsheets. Ada joined them a moment later with a glass of water. “Try some crackers, it helped me with sickness during my pregnancy.” She offered taking the sheets downstairs.
Y/N groaned feeling embarrassed and mortified for everything. As soon as she smelled the food her stomach protested, but she felt bad for telling Polly something so she decided to just eat the food. But the moment she got the first bite, she couldn’t help it and it ended in her throwing up and making a mess.
“I want to thank you for taking care of her.” Y/N’s grandmother admitted taking her hand.
“I was just thinking…” Tommy started to say, “You could come with me to the new place I got.” Then he turned to face her grandmother. “It’s outside the city, away from curious eyes and it’s surrounded by trees.”
“No.” Y/N stated.
“I think it’s a wonderful idea dear.” Her grandma smiled at Tommy. “Fresh air could help her.”
Y/N sighed frustrated with herself, with the situation.
“Think about it, yeah?” Tommy suggested. “That way you won’t run into your parents everyday, and you can walk to the lake to relax.”
“He’s right.” Her grandma approved. “You’ll feel grateful to be away from the drama.”
“Perfect! Looks like you got it all figured out Tommy.” She snapped. “Just like my mother who wanted to send me to her aunt’s farm.”
She knew this wasn’t fair, he was the only one offering support, but she couldn’t help it, she felt on the brick, like everything was falling apart. And she was angry with herself.
Polly pushed Tommy away and gently grabbed Y/N’s arm. “Sweetheart all of this worry isn’t right for the baby. For the first time, I think going to that house is the best idea.”
“Unfortunately your choices are limited my darling.” Y/N’s grandma spoke softly. “But you should know that these wonderful people are trying to help you.”
She was trying to be strong, to pretend this didn’t hurt her, but truth is he world was crashing down. And this was only the beginning.
That seemed to click on Y/N’s mind because she gave a small nod, her lower lip gave in and it started quivering, then the tears started to fall down her cheeks.
“Thank you so much.” Y/N sobbed. “I’m so sorry.” Emotions took over her.
Her grandma pulled her in for a hug, wrapping her arms protectively around her just like she did when she was a child. “The Lord removed some people from your life but look at the angels he placed right away.”
Tommy saw Polly dabbing the corner of her eyes with her sleeve.
“This baby will grow surrounded by people who really love him or her.” He assured her.
“Now how about I help you take a bath? The doctor should arrive shortly.” Polly offered rubbing her back.
Her grandma squeezed between them. “I better go, said I was going to church.”
“Thank you for coming gran.” Y/N gave her a tight hug.
As they moved to get things done, Polly stopped her nephew before he could walk downstairs. “You’re brave for helping her like this.”
“I can’t leave her on her own.” He tried to explain, but Polly interrupted him.
“Your mother raised you right.” She then, in an unexpected move touched his shoulder. “She’d be proud of you.”
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Part 3
Master list
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intrepidacious · 2 years
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almost believing
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summary: You and Bucky aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment. That doesn't mean you're getting out of having to pretend to be married for a mission.
pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader
word count: 5.4k
warnings: miscommunication dialled up to eleven bc it's me; friends to lovers with lots of seething in between; set around christmas, but not a christmas fic; slight spoiler warning for wakanda forever just to be safe
please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.
prompt: fake dating, baby 😌 title and initial inspiration for this fic were taken from "so close" from enchanted. yes. that scene.
a/n: this was written for my wonderful tiff's sweet as sugar writing challenge!! @traitorjoelite i'm so proud of you and i hope you enjoy this fic. i really thought this one would be short i swear. big shoutout and thank you to @sweetascanbee for listening to me rant about this for weeks, i appreciate you so much!!
masterlist | read on ao3
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Here’s the thing: It’s supposed to be a simple mission. Just gathering intel at the hotel for one single night, the two of you pretending that everything is fine for a couple of hours more.
After all, it’s Bucky’s last mission with you before his reassignment goes through.
Well, it’s not like it’s going to make a difference to how much you’re seeing him, to be honest.
You’re not sure when he started making himself rare or why, but once you noticed it, it was impossible not to.
"Sorry, I’m heading out," when you ask him to grab lunch together seems inconspicuous enough, as does, "Ah, I’m already supposed to meet Sam," when you try asking him about that trip to IKEA you’d been talking about for ages.
But it doesn’t stop there. One excuse follows the next, and suddenly there’s always something more important than the two of you hanging out.
Of course, you try to rationalize it at first. Swallow down your hurt feelings, because Bucky is your friend, and sometimes people just need space. You’re fine. The two of you are fine.
Once he starts scheduling dates for Friday night, though—which has always been movie night, always, every week since you met him—you know that something’s wrong.
"Is he angry with me?" you keep asking Steve, who looks very uncomfortable and definitely knows what's going on.
"Just give him a little space," he suggests timidly. So you do. You let the whole thing go.
For like a week.
"I just don’t know what I did," you tell Sam over drinks, your head held in your hands.
"Nope," he answers, downing his dregs. "I’m not doing this. Nuh-uh."
"You know, too?" you cry, accusingly pointing at him.
"I don’t know anything," Sam deadpans. And then he puts his scarf on and leaves.
"Maybe try talking to Bucky about it?" Natasha suggests, either incapable of hiding her amused smile or unwilling to try.
"I would if I ever saw him for longer than a 'hi, how are you' at the gym," you mumble. Fact is, you’re getting pissed about him giving you the silent treatment without even knowing what you did wrong.
Because before this, whatever this is, things were fine. Great, even. Free afternoons were spent on each other’s couches, introducing him to your favorite tv shows and letting him teach you that stupid card game he loves so damn much. You’d even been starting to imagine that there might be something …
Clearly, you were wrong.
Now, you can’t even look at him without your throat closing up. It’s like you woke up a few weeks ago and he’s become an entirely different person around you, much more like he was at the beginning of your friendship, distant and cold.
He didn’t even tell you that he’d signed up for a transfer.
The mission call feels like your last chance.
A whole evening of teamwork and espionage, of him basically having no other choice than talking to you and finally telling you why the fuck he would get himself reassigned without even telling you beforehand. You could’ve hugged Fury for the opportunity.
That is, until you’re handed the file containing your fake identities for the op a few hours before you’re supposed to leave.
"You’re joking," you say as soon as you open the door.
"Great, you’re here as well," Steve says dryly. "Again, a) you both gotta learn how to knock, b) the whole thing wasn’t my idea or my decision, but I also think it’s the best directive for what you’re trying to do, and c) no, there’s no one else available for the mission. Anything I missed?"
Bucky deliberately doesn’t meet your eye, his arms still crossed as he stares Steve down with a look you can’t decipher. He doesn’t even acknowledge you standing in the door, but his foot is doing the tapping thing again.
You purse your lips and join the staring.
Steve sighs, rubbing his temples with the palms of his hands. "Listen, you two work well together and I know these past few weeks have been … strained"—you almost laugh at that—"but it’s just one night."
"We need to pretend we’re married," you say. "How’re we going to pull that off if he can’t stand being in the same room as me?"
"I trust that there won’t be any issues." Steve raises an eyebrow at Bucky as he says that, but of course he doesn’t get a reply. That would necessitate talking in your presence.
"One night," Bucky repeats through gritted teeth.
Not for the first time, there seems to be some sort of silent conversation between the two of them that you’re not privy to. You roll your eyes.
"I’ll see you later."
You leave with your back straight and without a glance over your shoulder, the door slamming shut behind you.
For a moment, you’re tempted to barge into Natasha’s office next, but you have a feeling like she’d just give you another one of her looks again, which really won’t better your mood. So instead, you slam another door and flop onto your bed, blankly staring at the ceiling for a while.
Surely, there’s some twisted sort of irony in this whole situation, but you’re not laughing.
Usually, before a mission, you’d get bagels together from the bakery around the corner. You haven’t done that in a while, but you’re still quietly begging your phone to show a new unread message when you look at the time however long later.
Instead, there’s just your lockscreen picture of Bucky’s grinning face that you can’t bear to get rid off, no matter how many times it stings you. It’s almost a year old, now, back when you’d taken him to go do your holiday shopping with you, insisting that "no one’s gonna recognize you, look at that great cap you’re wearing".
It’d started snowing halfway through the afternoon, and he’d kept reaching for your hand in order not to lose you in the crowd. You both gave up halfway through your list and just went to get coffee instead, strolling through Central Park and talking about nothing and everything.
That’s when you’d realized you'd been falling in love with him, laughing and fingers freezing around your paper cup, a strange new warmth spreading throughout your body.
You need to change your lockscreen.
***
Half an hour before pick-up, you leave your room with a duffle bag slung over your shoulder and almost run into Bucky. He’s leaning against the opposite wall like he’s been waiting for you, and it stings because that’s what he always used to do, back when you were still talking. When you could still pretend that maybe, just maybe, your feelings weren’t quite so hopeless.
Now, though, his easy smile is missing. Instead, an ever-present frown is furrowing his brows again, his mouth opened just a little, but nothing comes out.
"Look, I don’t want to do this any more than you do," you sigh. "But it’s a two-person job."
He nods, his tongue poking his cheek. "I know."
"Do you think you’re gonna be alright with us pretending we’re madly in love for a whole evening?"
Bucky’s jaw tightens. "I’ll be fine."
Of course he’s going to be fine.
You grab the strap of your bag more tightly. "I wish you would just tell me what I did."
"You didn’t do anything." If he’s telling the truth, though, why does he look so numb?
For a moment, you want to shout at him, cry, beg, make him tell you when and how this went wrong, but you don’t. You just stare at him in silence, hoping he’ll get it anyway, and he refuses to notice it.
"So," Bucky finally says. "You ready to get hitched?"
There’s the ghost of a grin in his eyes, and even though it’s not enough to mask the uncomfortable tilt of his shoulders, you sigh. At least he’s trying, you suppose.
"Let’s just get fake-married so we can fake-divorce and go our separate ways," you say, walking past him.
"I’ve got something for you."
You turn around again, raising your eyebrows as he holds up a ring between the fingers of his left hand. There’s a giant stone set in its center, striking and sparkling and not subtle in the slightest. Tony really went all out for appearance’s sake. Your fingers involuntarily tighten around the strap of your bag.
Bucky drops the ring in the palm of your hand.
"Quite the present," you chuckle nervously. You don’t even want to know how much this thing costs, and you feel like they're going to chop off your head if something happens to it.
"Try it on, then."
It’s a bit too large on your finger, and it feels foreign. It’s not you at all. Then again, it’s not supposed to be you.
Before you can say anything, though, Bucky shakes his head. "What?" you say with a roll of your eyes.
"That couldn’t look more fake if you tried. Wait a sec."
He turns his back towards you and rummages through his bag for a while, his jaw still set as he holds out his hand once more. With a sigh, you pull the ring off again and return it, but before you can pull your hand back, he catches it in his own.
This one slides onto your finger perfectly, and your eyes widen at the sight of it. It’s a lot subtler, with only a small emerald for decoration, but it’s so delicate and beautiful it takes your breath away.
Bucky’s mouth opens and closes, but he swallows whatever came to his mind. "That’s better," he says instead, and his voice sounds oddly rough.
"They gave you a backup?" you say, angling your hand this way and that to see how the gem catches the light.
"Mhm."
Something is off about this whole situation, but then you feel like you don’t really know Bucky anymore. Not like you used to, anyway. It used to be so easy to get a read on him.
You stand there in silence for a moment, and it’s only then that both of you realize he’s still holding your hand. He drops it immediately, and you pretend it doesn’t sting.
"How come you don’t get a ring?" you ask.
"Says who?" Bucky says, clearing his throat and activating the camouflage sleeve Tony had installed for his arm. Sure enough, there’s a ring on his hand as well.
You grab his hand curiously. When you touch it, there’s no difference between his fingers and the pseudo-platinum band, all of it just cool vibranium in disguise.
"It’s fake," you say. "It’s not the same."
"No," he agrees and pulls his hand away. "Looks real enough, though."
You notice the red splotches on his neck and wonder what it is that you’ve said this time, but it’s pointless anyway. He’s not going to tell you even if you asked.
Maybe you should be used to him icing you out by now, but it still hurts.
***
"Yes, Steve, I know," you sigh. "We’re just gathering intel, nothing else."
"I just wanted to have you say it again so we’re all clear. You both love taking risks when it’s not necessary."
"Alright, punk, we got it," Bucky says, tugging at his tie again.
You can’t even blame him for the nervous habit; you’ve been twisting your fake wedding ring around your finger for the entire drive.
This isn’t the first time the two of you had to go undercover as a couple; hell, it’s not even the first time you’ve pretended to be married. Usually, though, you could have a laugh about the whole thing together.
Now you barely know how to act around Bucky as yourself, let alone as some made up woman.
"I think we’re going to attract a lot of attention if we don’t get out soon," you say, readjusting the collar of your blouse underneath your coat.
You notice Steve staring at your hand for a moment, a frown between his brows, but his lips curve upwards a split second later. "Ready to do this?" he asks and you smile a little in confirmation.
Bucky takes another breath and then he nods curtly. "Let’s go."
The change that goes through him as soon as the two of you climb out of the car is so stark you almost turn on your heels again and beg Steve to let you off the hook, after all. His hand sneaks around your waist and pulls you closely into his side as you walk towards the hotel, all soft smiles and charm.
"Sorry for the holdup," he tells the bellman waiting next to your bags with a wink. "The missus and I just needed another minute."
You lightly slap Bucky’s chest in fake indignation. It’s quick thinking on his part, really.
When you’re checking in under your assumed names for the evening, he keeps his arm around you, and the content look stays in his eyes. A subtle glance at your surroundings tells you some of your persons of interest have already arrived early for the event tonight, looking around the sparkling lobby with the same feigned boredom.
Bucky nudges your cheek with his nose and then smiles again when you look at him. It makes your brain shut off for a moment.
When he looks at you like this, it’s so easy to forget the past couple of months and just pretend for a moment. What if there was no mission at all, and it could simply be the two of you?
But of course, that’s not possible. All of it is fake, including the way he looks at you. You know that.
So how come it doesn’t feel fake to you at all?
***
You hate this dress, you hate these people, you hate this dinner, and most of all, you hate how much you enjoy spending this much time so physically close to Bucky.
It feels so natural when he links your hand with yours, so fucking meant to be, even though he’s just putting on a show for the band of creeps you’re tasked to keep an eye on.
But damn if he’s not good at it.
It’s amazing, really, how his eyes immediately soften when you turn your head towards him, like you’re the only person in the whole room. He looks at you during this charade like you wish he’d look at you daily, even far from prying eyes around you; especially then. It makes your breath shorten, your heart pounding erratically because it thinks it’s getting everything it’s ever hoped for.
Hearts are often stupid like that.
A full night of glances and touches and the pretence of secret whispers will do all kinds of twisted things to your feelings.
There’s a lull in the conversation, and when Bucky squeezes your hand you realize he’s no longer the only one who’s looking at you.
You chuckle nervously. "I’m sorry, I got … distracted for a moment. What were you saying?"
"Ah, newlyweds," one of the investor goons laughs. He’s a particularly vile looking man whose suit is way too big on his spindly limbs.
Bucky, academy award winning actor in another lifetime, chuckles politely while the fondness in his eyes seems to increase tenfold. "We’ve been married three years, actually," he says, sticking to your official cover story.
It’d been Tony’s idea to keep your fake timeline as close to the truth as possible to avoid any slip-ups. It’s a great move on paper, really, but in reality it just adds another nail to the coffin.
Three years ago, you were on a mission in Brussels, only the second one ever where it was just the two of you. It was mostly surveillance, so one of you usually had downtime while the other kept lookout. It became customary that you’d entertain each other during those long hours, getting to know each other intimately for the first time, taking the first tentative steps towards the friendship you now share.
That mission was the groundwork of your falling in love with him in the first place.
"You seem to be doing something right if you’re both still so enamoured with each other," Spindly Arms says.
"I’m the luckiest guy in the world," Bucky responds, still looking into your eyes. "It’s hard not to do the right thing, then."
He presses a kiss to your cheek and you smile timidly. His lips linger for just a moment, and then he moves to whisper into your ear, something you’re sure looks like sweet nothings to everybody else but is actually a, "Don’t fall asleep on me."
You tilt your head, shove him teasingly as if he’d said something inappropriate, and because he’s always been quick to catch on he winks, obvious enough so that the other people that are part of this conversation can clearly see it.
It’s not long after this that you excuse yourselves, walking around the room with apparent aimlessness. Everything is sparkling with pure gold decorations and countless little twinkling lights that have been scattered around the room like millions of fireflies. You spot an actual orchestra right underneath the massive Christmas tree.
"Kind of tacky, don’t you think?" Bucky murmurs with a sideway glance at you.
"Maybe a little," you say.
The truth is, though, the room looks oversaturated and expensive and magnificent. Something straight out of a Hallmark movie, more like a movie set than a real place.
It’s the one thing that keeps this whole thing from being completely unbearable.
He must have seen the truth in your eyes, because he ducks his head and says quietly, "I’m gonna go check out the terrace."
You just nod and smile as he kisses your cheek again and then vanishes through the crowd with a few long strides. Sighing, you take another drink from the tray a waiter offers you, absent-mindedly rubbing your cheek.
"What a lovely surprise," a voice says next to you and you freeze for a moment before forcing yourself to calmly take a sip. "Miss … Winter, was it?"
"Mrs," you say with a pleasant smile. "Good evening, Director."
"Right, of course." Director de Fontaine eyes her martini warily. "I don’t suppose these olives are fresh, do you?"
Your mind is racing. If she’s here on official business, then your entire operation might be compromised.
"So," she continues, looking rather bored. "Met any interesting people yet, Mrs Winter?"
"Oh, yes," you say lightly, clinging to your role of unassuming young wife. "It’s all rather exciting."
"I’m sure. These kinds of events are all very … shiny." She looks into your eyes and there’s an almost explicit warning written in hers. "It’s surprisingly easy to get blinded."
You swallow heavily even as she smiles. "If you’ll excuse me, I think I see someone …"
You quickly walk over to the buffet table where some of the wives have formed a semi circle of gossip, trying your best to hide your sigh of relief when the director doesn’t follow you.
For a few minutes, you lose yourself in pointless gossip, until one of the women takes hold of your forearm.
"You must tell us, what’s your secret?"
"Excuse me?" you chuckle nervously.
"Your husband!" she exclaims, earning a few nods from some of the others. "He clearly adores you," she goes on. "I don’t think he’s looked away from you once since you joined us."
You steal a look around your shoulder. She’s right. Bucky’s gaze immediately locks with yours, an almost bashful grin on his lips. You caught me, his eyes seem to say, and you feel a rush of heat go through you.
He should be nominated for an Oscar with this performance.
Quickly, you turn around again to meet several expectant pairs of eyes.
"I don’t know what to tell you," you say. "He’s just … always been like this. I mean, he’s my best friend. I really don’t know what I would do without him."
There’s not a word of a lie in what you’re saying, and it elicits a round of coos and murmurs even as your heart gives a sharp pang.
"Dance with me?"
You flinch, turning to look at Bucky’s outstretched hand, at the sad, hopeful look in his eyes, and the line between reality and fiction blurs a bit more.
You take his hand, and he pulls you onto the dance floor, some cheery Christmas song ramping up to its big finale. Then, the band switches to a slower song. To you, it sounds mournful.
"That was nice," Bucky mutters into your ear. "What you said."
"I meant it, you know," you whisper, but he turns, and you don’t think he’s heard you.
Bucky places his hand on your hip and you hide a shudder. His gloved fingers wrap around yours, and then you start moving again.
You barely know the steps, but he’s a great leader, and he doesn’t say anything when you step on his toes. In fact, his gaze softens even more when he looks at you after the third time, the hand around your waist pulling you a little closer.
"How are you doing this?" you say without stopping to smile.
"Easy," Bucky says, and the way he says it almost makes you believe it’s true.
You bite your lip, trying to stop yourself from breathing him in. "I didn’t mean the dancing."
With the last note of the song, you stumble over his foot again and he snorts. "Me neither."
The melody changes and neither of you lets go. His steps are getting slower, smaller, like he’s just trying to keep both of you in motion. Your head is spinning. The twinkling lights are starting to blur into a great mass of stars in the background, like you’re at the center of a music box and everything else is just background noise.
You wrap both hands around his neck as you’re swaying, then, your foreheads only inches apart. You could stay in this moment forever, you think, as it stretches into blissful infinity. Somewhere, a clock strikes ten.
Bucky leans in a little closer and your breath hitches again.
"It’s time," he whispers, and your eyes fly open.
You’d almost forgotten about the mission.
"Val is here," you say quietly.
His expression hardens for just a second. "What?"
"She came to talk to me earlier. She knows we’re here."
"Why didn’t you say something?"
"I … There wasn’t time."
"We’re just gonna have to be quick and discrete."
You open your mouth, but then you see the distance close in again between you two, and so you just nod.
The plan is almost laughably simple, but it’s probably going to work out just as you’ve laid out beforehand. Everyone in the room has watched the two of you staring at each other for the past couple of hours, so no one bats an eye when Bucky nudges you gently and you make your way up the stairs to the fancy elevator that’s going to take you up to a bedroom.
Or, more specifically, to a bedroom that’s being used to store all kinds of evidence, but no one else needs to know that little detail.
You notice the director talking to Spindly Arms and a couple of other people, but you force your gaze not to linger on her. Instead, you grab Bucky’s hand more tightly.
He lets go of you as soon as the elevator doors close behind the two of you, dragging a hand through his hair and messing it up. There aren’t any cameras in the elevator, but you’re both pretty sure there will be on the floor you’re going. "CIA exposure, that’s exactly what we needed."
"There was nothing I could’ve done," you say, tugging your sleeves down your shoulders.
"I’m not blaming you, sweetheart," Bucky says distractedly, loosening his tie. Your heart makes a very heavy thud. "But if Walker shows up tonight as well, I’m gonna shoot first and ask questions later."
"No, you won’t," you say with a grin, mostly because you know he didn’t bring his gun because the male attendees were all frisked at the entrance.
"Maybe I’ll throw a knife. I could say it was an accident."
The conversation lasts barely a moment, but it reminds you so much of what the two of you used to be, it hurts.
You follow him stumbling out of the elevator onto the right floor with a breathless laugh. There’s no one in sight as you subtly check the room numbers before making him follow you with a coquettish smile for the security camera.
You find the right door without much trubble, pulling the keycard out of your inconvenient little handbag. "Come on now," you murmur as the lock rejects it at the first try.
Suddenly, Bucky’s hand is on your waist again, and you gasp as he spins around. The keycard drops to the floor.
He presses you against the wall, effectively trapping you in his embrace. Your hands are laid flat against his chest, his heart thundering madly underneath your fingertips. Bucky’s eyes flit around madly, like he’s trying to come up with something on the spot and, for the first time since you’ve known him, is left without ideas.
You gasp as his nose brushes against yours.
"Sorry," he whispers hoarsely. And then he kisses you.
Your body responds immediately, lighting a fire in your core as his lips press against yours, hungry, gentle, almost apologetic. You can taste the champagne on his tongue.
You arch your back against him on instinct as his hands travel down your arms, brushing your hips, your tighs, slowly parting your dress at the slit. Your eyes fly open the moment you realize what he’s doing, even though he swallows your gasp.
In one smooth motion, he pulls the I.C.E.R. out of the garter on your thigh and fires a single, silenced shot. The guy with the earpiece barely has the time to grunt before he sacks against the opposite wall, unconscious, his hand still in the pocket of his jacket.
"Fuck," you hiss, pushing Bucky away from you. He stumbles slightly, the gun loose in his fingers. His eyes are almost black as he blinks at you. "You could have told me we’re being shadowed."
Bucky’s mouth is stained from your lipstick, and the sight of that alone makes your head swim. You can still feel the ghost of his hand on your leg.
"It’d have blown our cover," he replies, infuriatingly calm. "Hate me later, our window has just narrowed by a bit."
You swallow, blinking to try and gain control over your breath again, grabbing your gun back with a short nod. "Let’s finish this, then."
***
Back at the Compound, you both give an exhausted report about the events of the night, leaving out nothing but your improvised kiss on floor fifteen.
Your lips are still tingling with it.
Finally, you and Bucky are left alone in the briefing room, and for the first time in weeks, he doesn’t just get up and leave as soon as the silence takes hold. Instead, you both sit next to each other, staring straight ahead.
"I guess we should talk," he says slowly, reluctantly, and you can’t help it.
Your defenses shoot up again.
"I don’t know what you’re talking about," you say, squinting.
"Yes, you do." He’s lost the tie hours ago, but he keeps tugging at the fabric in his hands as if it could give him the words he’s looking for. "I shouldn’t have kissed you, not with … Not like that."
"Like you said, the guy would’ve blown our cover," you say, crossing your arms.
"Doesn’t make it right."
"What do you want me to say, Buck?" you say sharply. "That you should’ve talked to me before? Well, I’m kind of used to you not doing that anymore, so just forget it."
"Y/N—"
"No, really, it’s fine. Like I said, you’re leaving, anyway, so what does it matter. Didn’t tell me you were planning to do that, either. You just did it."
"You know why I’m leaving."
"No, I fucking don’t!" There are tears in your eyes now. "I have been trying really hard, Bucky, but you’ve just shut me out. I thought you needed space, which is fine, by the way, but you just—one day you decided you were done with me and that was it."
He stares at you incredulously. "You seriously don’t remember."
"Don’t remember what?!"
"That you were talking about me. To Natasha."
The memory rushes through you so violently it’s almost ridiculous you hadn’t thought about it in months.
You’d just come back from another undercover op, and you’d called her right as the door to your room had closed behind you because not for the first time, your feelings had threatened to spill over again.
"You should talk to him. Be honest."
"No, Nat, come on, I can’t—I can’t do that to him. I can’t risk … you know, he’s my best friend. And that’s all it can ever be. I don’t want to ruin what we have. I just wish he’d make it easier."
"You’re making excuses, you know. Both of you deserve a bit of happiness, don’t you think?"
"I tried," Bucky says now, barely looking at you. "I tried making it easier. But you’re so …"
"So what?" you ask hollowly, ignoring the fact that you can feel the tears starting to trickle down your cheeks now. "So pathetic? That’s what this is about, isn’t it? That’s why you asked for the transfer, so you can be rid of me."
"Rid of you?" Bucky starts, but you ignore him.
"You know what, Bucky, fuck you if you think my feelings for you are so much of an inconvenience that you need to leave the state. Silly me for thinking we could be adults about this."
"You’re the one who wouldn’t just tell me."
"Well, now you know anyway and I’m sure once you’re off to Cairo or wherever the fuck they’re going to send you, you can have a big old laugh about the stupid girl who fell in love with you despite the fact that—"
"Love?"
"I mean, obviously?!"
"You … you’re in love … with me?" There’s something very soft and vulnerable in Bucky’s eyes.
"Are we talking about two different phone calls?"
"I thought you hated me."
You huff incredulously. "Why would I hate you?"
"That’s why I gave you space, I thought … but then …" He grabs your hands. "Sweetheart, I’ve been in love with you for years."
It punches the air out of your lungs. "What?"
Bucky’s eyes are devastating as he looks at you, then. "I’m so sorry, I—I got it all wrong, I was just—I thought you know and you didn’t see me like that and that’s why I …"
"You …?" you say, still not quite comprehending what’s going on.
His thumb caresses your knuckles, halting when it makes contact with the ring you’re still wearing. "I'm in love with you," he says quietly.
"I don’t understand," you whisper.
"Please tell me I didn’t fuck this up completely."
This time, you’re the one to lean in.
Where your first kiss in the hallway had been feverish, this one is soft, almost unbelievably sweet, both of you still breathless with the fact that you’re allowed to do this. Finally, it feels like all the pieces are falling into place and you’re home again.
You press closer into him and Bucky smiles against your lips, pulling you in with his hands on your hips just like he did when you were dancing earlier.
The loudspeakers overhead crackle. "Alright, kids, we’re gonna break this up until you’re back in your own quarters, I don’t want to expose FRIDAY to the creation of your sex tape."
You break up with a snort.
"Fuck you, Tony," Bucky shouts, but he’s still smiling as wide as you’ve ever seen him do.
You giggle as you nudge your nose against his, curling your fingers into his hair. "That reminds me, you know."
"Of what?"
"Quick and discrete," you mumble, repeating his words from the hotel. "Title of your sex tape."
Bucky groans and shuts you up again.
(A few years later, you get the ring back.)
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happy holidays, y'all 💛 thank you for reading!! if you want to see more of my writing, check out my masterlist or follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications!!
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blushweddinggowns · 9 months
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 “So let me get this straight. You met a hot guy, conned him into a date with you, lied about who you were to get into his pants and still failed. Then kept going, bought a new phone and rented a fake apartment, fell in love him, continued this elaborate ruse for four months, and now you want me to figure out a way for you to get out of it?”
“...yes?”
“Oh my fucking god,” Chrissy nearly screeched into his ear, “That is what you have been doing? Have you lost your damn mind?!”
“Obviously, yes!” Eddie yelled right back, feeling fraught as hell. He was pacing back and forth, a cigarette in hand as he spoke, “I never planned on ending up here!”
“Really? Because this whole shit show seemed to need a lot of planning. Is this really what happens when I leave you unsupervised? I am never letting you out of the house again.”
Eddie was well aware he deserved the ribbing. He deserved much worse, but that didn’t change the fact that he was desperate, “Chris, I’m serious. I need help.”
“Eddie, I love you but come on. You need a plane ticket and an apology muffin basket and to move on. This guy doesn’t even know you.”
“It’s not like that,” Eddie said as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, “It’s-okay. I’m still me with him. It’s like…I’m acting like who I would have been if I was never famous. I don’t know how else to describe it.”
“Have you tried delusional? Also, can I get a picture of this guy? How hot can one dude be to drive you-”
“I’m serious,” Eddie interupted, irritation coloring his voice, “I told him everything. The shit about my parents, Wayne, the drugs, you, everything.”
“You realize that everything would include your real name right? And again, a picture for the love of god would really help put this in perspective-”
“You know what I mean,” Eddie sighed. She still wasn’t getting it, “I’m in love with him. Like Chris, he was made for me. And if I had just stuck to tattooing instead of doing the music shit then I’m pretty sure he’d think the same of me.”
He could hear a small intake of breath on her end, her voice coming out a bit more concerned than before, “Eds, are you serious?”
“Dead. I… I think he’s the one,” No, that was another lie. Eddie took a deep breathe before admitting the truth, “He is the one. And… I don’t want to lose him. I can’t lose him.”
“Honey, it’s an infatuation. A really, really strong one, but still-”
“Chrissy. Listen to me. I want to marry him. Do you understand me now?”
If that didn’t get through to her nothing else would. Because Chrissy Cunningham had spent hours upon hours of listening to Eddie complain about the institution of marriage since fucking highschool. How it was all a farce, just some bullshit people pulled for tax reasons and patriarchal idealism. And now here he was, fucking day dreaming about the perfect happily ever after with the love of his life. 
“Oh Jesus,” Chrissy groaned, the sineritcy Eddie was looking for finally creeping into her voice, “Sweetie, I’m so sorry… but I think you might have fucked yourself too big on this one.”
“Isn’t there something I can do?” Eddie pleaded into the phone, like Chrissy actually had all the power in the world to fix this, “What if I just lead a double life? Couldn’t that work?” 
He had seen a movie about that once or twice. It was a thing. Or if it wasn’t then he could make it one.
But Chrissy didn’t seem too convinced, “Eddie, honey, you’re describing the plot of Hannah Montana like it can actually be a solution. Do you realize how insane that is? Do you not get how far you’ve fallen?”
from the next chapter of this fic
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mypoisonedvine · 1 year
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Congrats on 30k! So well deserved. I’m the anon who asked about the make out with Eddie (thank you so much, loved it!).
Now I’m kinda curious…. would you possibly please tell us more about Eddie putting “just the tip” in? Think my brain short circuited when I read that.
oh yeah a lot of people were very curious about that... allow me to expand just a bit...
warnings: needy eddie being manipulative, heavy dubcon/coercion, unwanted/unexpected creampie, religious/virgin reader
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"Come on, baby, please?" he whined, tightening his grip on your hips.
"Eddie," you whimpered, "stop— hard enough to say no to you already."
"Good," he smiled, "just... stop saying no. I know you want it, too."
He wasn't wrong, of course, but you'd told yourself you wouldn't give it up for Eddie Munson. Actually, you told yourself you wouldn't even go out with him at all, but you did— and then you did again, and now he was technically your boyfriend but nobody else could know that. It wouldn't be a good look for you if Hawkins' good little church girl was caught in Eddie's trailer.
If only they could see you now: under him on his filthy old mattress, your panties pulled to the side, his cock rubbing against your thigh. Every time you saw him, you swore you wouldn't let it go any further— then you'd walk through that trailer door and he'd convince you. First it was just kissing, and you slapped his hand away when it groped one of your boobs; but then it was under the shirt stuff but absolutely nothing below the belt. Until suddenly he had you rubbing your hand on the bulge in his jeans, because it's fine if you don't actually touch it, right? Then he convinced you to let him rub his fingers over the outside of your panties, and that had you so desperate you almost considered dry humping him until you came— but you absolutely positively could not come with him, it was just wrong, it was against everything you'd been taught.
"Eddie, I can't," you swore, "I'm saving myself for marriage. I shouldn't have even done all that stuff with you from before!"
"Yeah, but I mean, fuck, look how pretty you are," he cooed.
"Y-you're just saying that," you whispered, "because you want my... chastity."
He purred through his teeth. "You know when you call it stupid things like that, it just gets me goin' even more, princess."
You whined and writhed your hips around for a moment, your pussy desperate for attention it had never known. "It's not stupid, Ed, it's my religion— it's God's law!"
"I know, I know," he sighed, "we don't have to do it. We won't. I'll just rub it on your pussy."
"No, Eddie!"
He groaned, running his hands up your shivering thighs. "C'mon, baby, feel how hard I am for you? You're so fucking sexy. It's a waste, honestly, a body like this not getting loved up."
"W-well, I think it would be a waste to give you my virginity when you're not my husband."
"It's not your virginity! It's just the outside, I won't go in."
"It's close enough!"
"Okay, fine, I'll marry you," he shrugged.
"Eddie! It doesn't work like that, I'm too young," you rolled your eyes.
He leaned down, hovering over you, looking at your face carefully. "Princess..." he whispered.
You bit your lip, your resolve beginning to crumble again.
"Please, honey, just let me feel how warm you are, that's it. And then I can wait as long as you need, I just need something to tide me over 'til then."
You swallowed thickly, wondering if what he really meant was I need something to keep me interested. "...just the outside, right?" you confirmed, and he beamed.
"Yeah! I won't go in," he promised. "Just wanna feel you soak me, that's all."
He held his dick at the base, guiding it to press right against your slick folds; you both sighed, your hips jumping at the feeling. He was so thick, his shaft spread your lips wide apart, and it made your stomach turn.
"Damn, baby," he groaned, watching his cock slide over your cunt. "You're so warm... fuck..."
You were such a sucker for how desperate he looked, his lips falling slack as he moaned for you, his hands holding tight onto your hips. "Eddie," you whimpered.
"I know baby, m'right here," he breathed, "god, I gotta feel inside you, princess. Just the tip, please baby—"
"Eddie!" you nearly sobbed, frustrated that he kept testing your integrity over and over. The first 'no' was so easy, natural even, but the hundredth was like pulling teeth. "We can't, Eddie, you can't—"
"It's just gonna be the tip, princess, I swear, just need to feel you on me," he whimpered. "I fucking need you— you're so perfect, princess, I need you so bad I can't take it."
Your breaths got faster and heavier as his cock slid over your clit just right. "Just... just the tip, okay?" you conceded. "But that's it. Nothing else, ever."
"I know, baby, I know," he promised, pushing down on his cock with his thumb as he guided it to your pulsing hole. "M'gonna just feel you, that's all..."
He pressed hard against you, pushing into your tight entrance, until finally the pressure was enough to break your body's resistance and the head slid in all at once; you whined in pain, and he moaned louder than you'd ever heard as he let his head fall back.
"Fuck, baby," he panted, "maybe you were right about this waiting thing— feels so much better with all the anticipation. Shit, been thinking about this since I first saw you— how this little pussy would feel. It feels so fucking perfect, baby..."
You whined, struggling to imagine how this was just the tip when it felt like you were being stretched so wide...
"I need a little more, princess, please," he sighed. "Just one more inch, that's not even half of it— I swear I can't help myself, you're irresistible."
"O-okay," you choked out, and the second you agreed to it, he filled you even more; it made your back arch, and with how wet you'd become it didn't hurt like you had been warned it would someday. (You still couldn't quite accept that 'someday' was today.)
"Oh fuck, fuck, baby," he whimpered, "you're so fucking good. My perfect girl. Fuck, I'm just gonna move a little... just one thrust. Just one, fuck..."
He pulled his hips back and slowly rocked them back forward, letting himself go just a bit deeper until you whined loudly. "Eddie, s-stop, no more, okay? Let's just stay like this..."
"Shit," he grunted, thrusting again. "I swear I can't fucking stop now, you feel too good. I'm already close, 'cause you're such a tease and all... I'm already so fucking close, baby, just let me come, okay?"
"Fuck, Eddie," you sighed, holding on tighter to the sheets under you. "Y-you can't, that's— that's not—"
"Princess," he breathed as he started to thrust more earnestly into you, each one a bit faster and going a little deeper than the last. "I swear I'm about to come. Just— just a little more, I'm gonna fucking come."
"But you're gonna pull out first," you assumed.
"Y-yeah," he said, "sure, of course."
For saying basically 'yes' three times, it wasn't so convincing. "Eddie, you have to pull out."
"I know," he nodded.
"You can come on me, you just have to—"
"Ohhhh fuck, fuck!" he moaned, and all at once he shoved himself to the brim inside you; you gasped just from the pain of his cock hitting so deep inside you, you hadn't even noticed yet that he was coming. "Oh my god, princess, you're fucking perfect..."
"Eddie, did you come?" you realized when he stopped moving, keeping himself to the hilt in you.
He didn't answer, just shut his eyes and started to catch his breath.
"Eddie!" you yelped, shoving him away and trying desperately to get him out of you. "Fuck, Eddie, I could get pregnant! What the fuck!"
"Sorry, princess," he sighed, though he kept a tight hold on your hips so you couldn't get out from under him. "You just feel too good. I couldn't help it."
"Oh my god, Eddie, oh my god!" you started to sob, terrified of the potential consequences.
"It's okay, baby," he promised, "it's gonna be fine. Because now that you've done it already, we can do it more, right?"
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teojira · 3 months
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[Marriage ceremony headcanons w/ Noa!] [commission!]
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A/N: Thank you for commissioning me Fox ! Your support to me means everything and I hope this is good!
Summary: What marrying Noa would be like and how you both go about it.
Warnings: Noa x reader romance, very self indulgent and may be a lil ooc
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Marrying an Ape is not easy, and you're sure you're the first human to have ever put those words together in a sentence and thought of them to begin with.
The ceremony is a big deal, it's you and the Eagle clan leader after all.
Human marriages have been lost to time, so there won't be any pretty dresses or suits, but you're still adorned with gifts and whatnot.
A lot of your accessories come from Noa himself, things he has crafted you in the courting process. Arm guards, necklaces, bracelets, all lovingly crafted by himself when he was ever away from you on scouting expeditions.
His mother and Soona help you too, get ready for their own customs that you may not be privy too.
It's apart of their culture that betrothed each give one another a feather from their eagle, to wear it almost as if it's a wedding ring, so they let you know to make sure to keep one handy for it.
Noa has a good bunch to choose from, subtly freaking out and thinking none of them are good enough for you, to which Eagle sun peeks at his master. It doesn't help, Noa just side eyes him all the more with a glare, smacking his lips.
Anaya is there to help him get ready as well, despite not ever going through the ceremony himself. Though he's mostly there just to lend an ear to whatever Noa needs to let off his chest.
I like to think Noa would ask you about your human customs, while yes, you're his mate, and this is firstly his home. He would never any to alienate you. He's more than willing to add in whatever you see fit. You're his mate, his equal. It's only right.
The ceremony takes place a little ways off from the colony, next to a waterfall. There's really no officator, nor is there a really big crowd. It consists of you both, Dar, Soona and Anaya, and a few other of the elders, who, while not fully accepting of the union at first, comes to their senses when Noa is adamant.
You've told Noa about vows about the speeches people usually make, and it scares the ape so badly to say it outloud just how much he cares for you. So you leave it for when you two are alone in the nest, it's more special that way you figure.
You and Noa exchange feathers, gently wrapping it around each other's arms. Your hands are trembling as you finally, and I mean, finally secure the knot.
Noa grabs your hands within his, intertwining your fingers together to the best of his ability due to the sheer size difference and pulls them to his chest, sighing deeply when you immediately move to brush across his scar, a smile on his lips.
He tugs you in, then pressing his forehead against yours as he cups your face, brushing the strands of hair away from it.
The leader is quiet as he soaks you in, your warmth, your scent, the feeling of you finally being officially his, in both of your worlds.
"Will you marry me?" You mumble, eyes opening ever so slightly to look up at Noa, and your heart is pounding so damn hard in your chest you fear you're gonna pass out.
"Yes." Noa answers without a moment of hesitation.
Now here comes the tricky part, kissing you in front of his family, the way humans do.
Lord help him, he's found echo fairy tales and he did enough reading to get the gist of how a marriage kiss should be.
It's a little bit awkward to situate you in his arms so suddenly, but the giggle you let out when he finally kisses you is all he needs in return.
Yes, both of you ignore the hooting in the distance.
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togrowoldinv · 1 year
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Reconnecting
Milf!Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader
It’s been ten years since you’ve seen Wanda. A lot has changed for her
Note: This is a soft one. Enjoy it!
Wanda Maximoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist
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You were always certain that Wanda Maximoff is the love of your life. She was your best friend in college, and you always felt like there was something more.
But it takes two people to start a life together. And you never told her how you felt.
You watched her marry a man as you stood by her side as her maid of honor. She was happy with him. You knew that much was true.
But still you longed for the woman. Eventually, her husband caught air of it and he told you to stay away from Wanda. You didn’t have much choice but to do so.
Ten years have passed and you haven’t so much as seen the woman on the street, but when you go into a restaurant for lunch today she’s sitting there in a corner booth.
You know it’s her. It has to be her.
Approaching her table cautiously, you overhear her speaking to two boys you hadn’t seen before.
“Boys, you can get milkshakes today,” she tells them. “If you promise to be good for Uncle P later.”
A couple of responses come from the kids. Wanda glances up at the feeling of someone coming towards her.
Her eyes catch yours before she quickly looks away. Could it be you after all of these years, she wonders.
“Hi Wanda,” you speak first. She looks into your eyes again. It’s really you. “Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to say hi.”
“Hi- hi y/n,” Wanda says, her voice cracking from the shock of seeing you again.
“How are you?” You ask her. “It’s been so long.”
“Yeah, it has,” Wanda agrees. “I’m doing okay.”
You’re about to speak again when one of the boys asks who you are.
“Oh, I’m y/n. An old friend of Wanda’s,” you introduce yourself.
“I’m Tommy and this is my brother Billy,” the boy says. “Wanda is our mom.”
Of course she is. Wanda always dreamt of being a mother. And you always knew she’d be a damn good one.
“It’s very nice to meet you boys,” you reply. “I’ll leave you to it. Good to see you again, Wanda.”
You begin to walk away when Wanda calls after you.
“Y/n, do you still have the same number?” She asks. You nod. “I’d like to see you again soon. To catch up?”
“Yeah, that would be nice,” you say. You flash her a smile.
After all of these years, you truly would love to reconnect with the woman. She texts you later that night and asks if you want to meet her for coffee. You agree easily.
The next morning you get dressed in an old college tee you’re pretty sure began as Wanda’s and some pants.
Wanda is early to the coffee shop. You walk to her table and she stands to greet you.
“You look nice,” you tell her. She’s wearing a black dress that frames her body well.
“Thank you,” she says, a tinge of pink on her cheeks. “I’ve got a meeting later.”
You order a drink and settle at the table with her. Neither of you know what to say first.
“So, how have you been Max? I mean other than you having the boys. How old are they?” You ask her.
“They’re 10,” Wanda says. “Twins.”
“Like you and Pietro. How sweet,” you remark. “I’m really happy for you. I know you always wanted to be a mom.”
“It’s the best,” she says. “Most days.”
“Not all?”
“Not anymore. I’m on my own,” Wanda says.
You notice there’s still a ring on her finger. But the look on Wanda’s face tells you something has happened.
“Oh Wands, I’m so sorry,” you say.
“It’s alright. It was sudden. One day he was okay and the next he was gone,” Wanda says, barely scratching the surface of the grief that tries to bury her. “About a year and half ago.”
“Can I- is it okay if I hug you now?” You ask her.
She nods and you cross the table to wrap her into a hug. Years of missing each other and grief of your own friendship makes the moment heavy.
Wanda cries into your neck as you rub her back soothingly. It feels like no time has passed but at the same time like you’re completely different people now.
“I missed you,” Wanda says through her tears.
“I missed you too,” you say.
She pulls away from your neck, but you keep your arms around her. You give her a small, reassuring smile.
“Would you want to come over for dinner sometime?” Wanda asks. “After yesterday, I told the boys about how much fun we had in college. They want to get to know you.”
“I’d love too,” you say. “As long as you’re cool with me telling them all about you back then.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Wanda says, a chuckle following her words. “Tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow night,” you agree.
Soon, you say goodbye to the woman for the day. And you have to admit you miss her since you’ve left.
It’s late in the night when you send her a text. It’s not risky in content, but it’s risky in reaching out to her.
Your phone rings two minutes later.
“Wanda?” You answer it. “I wasn’t expecting you to call me.”
“I was up,” she says.
“Stressed?” You ask. She usually was when she couldn’t sleep.
“Very. What are you doing right now?”
“Laying in bed thinking about us,” you reply. “About you.”
Your hear Wanda take a deep breath on the other end of the line.
“Was there an us?” She asks. Taking another her breath, continues, “Is there an us?”
“Wanda,” you breathe out. “You must’ve known at least partially that I loved you.”
“I think I tried to ignore it,” Wanda admits. “I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t want to possibly not be friends with you, but then you left anyways.”
“He asked me to leave,” you say. “I didn’t want to do it.”
“I was worried about that,” Wanda says. “That he asked you to. It felt so sudden.”
Wanda’s breath is shaky. She is finally letting herself feel everything.
“I never would’ve left you.”
“I know,” she says. “I was about to tell you I was pregnant when you disappeared.”
“Wanda,” you mumble. There’s silence on the line.
“Can you come over?” She asks you.
“Now?”
“Yes please.”
You throw on some clothes and drive to the address Wanda had texted you. Just about ten minutes down the road from your house.
When you get there, your hands shake with nerves. You really couldn’t tell how Wanda was feeling. But you weren’t going to say no to seeing her again.
Just as you’re about to knock on the door, Wanda opens it wide. She steps outside.
“Hey,” you say.
“Hi,” she greets you. “The boys are asleep so I thought we could talk out here.”
She gestures to the swing on the front porch. You sit down next to her.
“I was going to ask you to be their godmother, you know,” Wanda says.
“I would’ve loved that.”
Wanda nods. You take a good look at her in the front porch light. She’s older, but she still looks the same. Her green eyes grab your attention, but her warm smile keeps you drawn to her. Wanda has always been so kind.
She notices you examining her face, but you don’t feign any embarrassment. You just lean in closer to her.
“I can’t ever get over you. I’m here. And it’s torture being so close and not being able to kiss you,” you tell her.
“So kiss me then,” Wanda says. It’s music to your ears.
Over fifteen years of longing comes to fruition with the feeling of her lips on yours. Wanda sighs in content against your lips. Being with you feels so safe, so warm.
The kiss becomes heated and Wanda pulls at your shirt.
“Come inside?” She asks.
“I dreamt of the day you’d ask me that,” you say. Wanda answers with another kiss to your lips.
You stand up together and walk inside her house.
Maybe Wanda Maximoff is the love of your life after all.
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miaclemeverett · 10 months
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amazon standing lamp - using drugs and sex and other unhealthy distractions and coping mechanisms to deal with losing people you love out of your own fault. the top-heavy amazon standing lamp part is a really old wilbur joke (back in 2020 he joked about naming a song this) and it also reminds me of how (i think it was him?) he once said that he moves house so often that he loses so many belongings and only has a few things left that he cares about, i think this pairs really well in the song how the artificial meaningless things are all that remain
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mine / yours - the breakdown of a relationship, seeing the warning signs and the things you take for granted assuming a person will stay with you forever despite it all
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around the pomegranate - this song reminds me a lot of "since i saw vienna", when a place (california in this song) becomes so married to a person that it serves as a source of comfort and nostalgia for when things were simple and happier. being on the road you can never set down roots and people come and go from your life
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i don't think it will ever end - he lives life in front of millions of people (chat in this song) watching his every move, like an actor he either has to play the part he's made for himself or isolate himself from this audience, it's a repetitive cycle that sends him downhill
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glass chalet - back in the dark days of 2021 i remember wilbur would always joke (SLASH SERIOUS) about quitting streaming and disappearing off the face of the planet for years without a single word. VERY HEALTHY MINDSET exhibited right here in this song
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melatonin 130 - I LOVE 100 GECS!! but in all seriousness the constant reminder that you have mental illness/anxiety your entire life and you can only cope with it, that it impairs you even when you should be happy cus obviously you're living out what you thought was your dream and everyone else thinks you should be on top of the world duh!
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oh distant you - JUST KILL ME. your sister was right but WORSE!!!!!!!! again you take for granted that someone will stick with you forever and only after it's over realizing that you can't fill the hole where they were. and again we're back on fixating on who is the villain in this narrative
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eulogy - your sister was right but worse 2, this song focuses on the whispers (good and bad) leftover from a relationship. harkening back to screensaver where he says that the subject in talking about their relationship basically makes him sound like hitler, and your sister was right where he talks about the warning signs the subject should have seen, this squarely places the blame on him
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dropshipped cat shirt - I LOVE 100 GECS!!! but anyway the grueling day-to-day of being on the move, singing to people who adore you and make up a version of you in their head, latching onto unhealthy coping mechanisms to keep going, you have everything you ever needed and wanted but you're bored out of your mind
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the median - short but sweet! as i said earlier, wilbur always has to play a part, and this audience projects their version of himself as the truth
trying not to think about it - I KNOW I PUT DAMN NEAR THE WHOLE SONG DOWN HERE BUT LISTEN. again realizing how much you take for granted the assumption that someone will stick with you forever. wilbur has mentioned before how as a hypochondriac, he's never taken seriously by doctors whenever he doesn't feel well. also this idea of romance and love as something just for the aesthetic, not as something that gives you stability and meaning but realizing that it can be that for you until its too late.
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10 week rule - who got him pregnant?? but in all seriousness i think this can be read as a way of turning a new page, but obviously its not as simple as just getting rid of something unwanted
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dckweed · 8 months
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NEXT THING YOU KNOW, gator tillman
in which gator tillman and his arranged bride figure out life and each other and what a real relationship means to them.
warnings: mentions and depictions of abuse, mentions of bruises, arranged marriages, romance, humor, dead parents, slow burn relationship (not completely but not not), basically we know the tillman men are asswipes so i 100% see Roy forcing gator into this kind of situation for money for his militia, eventual smut with kinks such as thigh riding, gun play, choking, spanking, lots of marking and possible spit play.
okay don't ask how i got this out so fast, im literally so fuckin obsesessed with this series right now.
series masterlist here, series playlist here.
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PART THREE: the weekend
thursday.
“What in the hell did you put me up to?” Gator’s voice rings out across the barn a couple of hours later. You wince, hearing the anger swirling under the tense tone as his footsteps thunk closer to you across the wooden floor. You’re still facing Bubbles, trying to get her untacked but it’s not easy when you don’t have a step ladder, you didn’t check if there was one in the trailer when you left and you didn’t feel right going snooping around the Tillman barn, afraid it might get you in trouble. 
“It’s just a few days,” You roll your eyes, grateful that he can’t see you because something tells you that the Tillman didn’t take kindly to bratty behavior like eye rolling. Not married yet or not, you were pretty much belonged to Gator now in the eyes of society in Stark County, nobody would bat an eye if he reprimanded you for it. “And i put us up to it, genius.” 
“Well gee, Pearl, you could have fuckin’ consulted me first, dontcha think?” He’s right next you in the stall now, his much larger hands moving yours out of the way as he could actually see over the top of your horse to undo all of her stuff. “Why the hell would i want to spend my weekend babysitting my sisters?” 
You scoff, turning to face him with your hands on your hips. You roll your eyes again and you know he sees you as his eyes narrow. “Ya know what asshole, you’re fuckin’ right!” You say, not going to put up with any of his damn attitude. “I shoulda slid right off my horse, left your daddy right out there in the field and come find you just to ask if it was okay.” He opens his mouth to retaliate, or maybe to tell you off for cursing at him or getting cross with him. “I may be younger than you but i’m still an adult, Gator, i’m gonna be your wife not your fuckin’ kid, don’t ever expect me to wait and ask your fuckin’ permission to do shit unless it’s necessary. That isn’t how this is goin’ to work.” 
He doesn’t say anything but pulls the saddle off of the horse with a huff and you turn on your heel, leading her out of the stall and out to the trailer. Gator stands in the stall for a moment after you’ve gone, listening to the clip clop of the horses hooves as you guys go. He closes his eyes for a second, readjusting the weight of your heavy ass saddle before guiltily following you along. You weren’t wrong, he was being an asshole. He hated being wrong, and he hated apologizing even more but he couldn’t let you go around stomping your feet and being mad at him all damn weekend, something told him that probably wasn’t in his best interest. And besides, he did actually feel bad for snapping at you like that, you didn’t deserve it. He did like seeing you get all riled up like that though, the storm that started brewing in your eyes..it was a nice change from your normally friendly and people pleasing personality. He liked that you obviously knew how to stand up for yourself too.  
The door of the trailer was open by the time he had finally meandered his way out of the barn, and he can hear you getting the horse settled into it. He makes quick work of putting the saddle into the back of your Jeep, closing the door and making his way to the trailer. He watches you, one arm braced against the metal door as his eyes follow your movements. You pat your horse on her long nose and then turn around, hands on your hips as you step down onto the ground of the driveway. 
You’re staring up at him expectantly, chewing your plump bottom lip with your hands on your hips. It took all the will power he never knew he had not to put his thumb on your fucking mouth, stopping you from what you surely couldn’t have realized was a surprisingly sinful act. He licks his chapped lips, looking off to the side before sighing. “I’m sorry for bein’ an asshole.” He says quietly, brown eyes searching your face for any sort of reaction. “I shouldn’t have snapped at ya like that..” 
Your face softens and something close to a smile graces the corners of your mouth as you push his chest lightly, your hands no longer defensively on your hips. “Apology accepted.” You say, meaning it. You had forgiven him the moment you had snapped at him too, you knew he was just as new to this whole situation as you were, you guys were still learning one another, that wasn’t any excuse to be yelling at each other but it was a reason to never let it happen again without at least trying to talk first. “But i’m not sorry for snappin’ back at you. You deserved it.” 
He laughs, a genuine, hearty sound coming from his throat and brings a hand up to muss your hair as he helps you close up and lock the trailer. “Alright..suppose we better go get that lunch you were talkin’ about earlier and then go pack up your stuff for the weekend.” The sun was fully up now, and even though it was only nine thirty in the morning, and he had all of an hour and a half of sleep under his belt, he was ready for lunch with you, and he was ready to get his dad and his wife out of the fuckin’ house so he could maybe relax just a little bit, maybe get a few more hours of sleep..
After a small squabble about who’s going to drive the Jeep you’re pulling up to the curb of Gator’s favorite diner in town, and he’s letting out a breath of relieved air as he steps foot on the ground. 
“Oh stop bein’ so dramatic!” You laugh walking side by side with him up to the door of the busy diner. He had spent the whole ten minute drive with one hand braced on the back of your seat and the other braced on the dash, telling you to slow down or to not hit your brakes so damn hard or to stop taking corners so fast and sharp with a damn horse trailer attached to you. You rolled your eyes after every comment, but found them more and more endearing as you heard the actual fear in his voice. That wasn’t the first time a boy had been scared to be in your passenger seat before. 
“Stop bein’ such a bad fuckin’ driver!” He retaliates, brown eyes wide as he holds open the door of the diner for you, you cackle and duck under his arm, breathing in his cologne and the smell of that damn fruity ass vape that he keeps puffing on. “You’re a menace to the road, Pearl, i swear!” 
He hears you mocking him and pushes the back of your head gently as the two of you find an empty space in the busy restaurant, a booth in the back corner next to windows where the light shines in. He insists on taking the side of the booth that faces the rest of the diner, wanting to have a good view of any potential danger (though he doesn't tell you that). 
A friendly waitress sidles up to the table as the two of you settle, you giggling after he mutters something more about your driving. “Mornin’ Gator, miss.” She says, nodding at the two of you. She’s plump and motherly, her hair brown and curly. You can tell from the smile on her face that she clearly knows the boy across the table from you. “Coffee for you, hon?” 
“Yes Ma’am,” Gator nods, one of the friendliest looks you’d seen in your whole short time of knowing him on his face as he looked up at her, his brown eyes filled with warmth you hadn’t seen towards anyone before. “And..i’m feeling lunchy today, how about a patty melt and fries, please?” You realized he must come here pretty often if the waitress knew his coffee order, and he didn’t need a menu to order. 
“You got it Gator,” She says warmly, turning to you next. “And for your..friend?” 
“Fiance, actually.” He says before you have the chance to speak, you’re stunned for a moment and so is the woman. This is the first time anyone outside of your families and the people directly involved with the wedding planning had been told that you guys were technically engaged, your face flushes as the realization and the weight of the title actually being out in the open for the first time. 
You can tell that she wants to ask more questions by the furrow in her brow and the hesitation before she clears her throat, but she thankfully doesn’t pry any farther. “And for your fiance?” 
You give a sheepish smile, that quickly turns to a deep rooted frown when the friendly woman tells you that they don’t stock flavored coffee creamers, or serve iced coffee. “Dr. Pepper then,” You say, the smile returning back to your face as Gator makes a mental note to stop by the local coffee shop for you on the way back to the Augastine ranch. “And I’ll do chicken tenders, with fries please!” 
She gives a smile and says she’ll be back soon, as soon as she gone Gator cracks up laughing at you. “What?” You pout, and he only shakes his head at you, causing your pout to deepen. “It’s not nice to laugh at people, is there dirt on my face? Gator!” The way you whined his name struck a different kind of chord in him and he quickly stopped laughing, shaking his head as he situated himself in his seat. 
He knew most men would have found the whining annoying but it was clear you didn’t do it on purpose, and it sent a tingle down his spine when you said his name like that. “Flavored coffee creamer?” You roll your eyes and kick him under the table, which only makes him laugh more. 
You had to admit, you liked how young and happy it made his face look when he laughed, and you wished he would do more of it. 
A couple of hours tick by as the two of you sit in your cozy little booth in the diner, eating and bickering and laughing at each other as customers come and go around you. He was sweet in his own rugged, rough way, your own personal diamond in the rough. You didn’t mind, it just meant you could have fun chipping away at him and softening him up around the edges. The more you got to know him over the past week, the more you started to think that maybe this marriage thing wouldn’t be so horrible. You could both learn to love each other over the years, and who knows, maybe you would fall in love in the way that all those people in the movies did. You had always wanted a silver screen romance..
Gator pays for the both of you before you can even dig your credit card out of your stupid little purse, which causes you to pout. “Hey, I was the one that asked you to come eat!” You argued and boy just sighs, giving you a pointed look that clearly said to shut the fuck up. You pout but don’t push on the matter, letting him steal the Jeep keys off of the table top as you slide off of your fluffy, overstuffed bench. 
“Alright, lets go pick up your stuff for the weekend and drop your trailer off,” He had work tonight again and he was hoping to get a couple extra hours of sleep in before his father left. The nights were always longer when he was tired, but he wasn’t going to complain. Gator loved his job. 
You follow him through the crowded diner, staying right underfoot. You hadn’t realized before but people were staring at the two of you, it made your cheeks flush when eyes bored into you as you walked and nervously, you grab onto the back of his shirt. He stiffens beneath your touch, and cranes his neck to look at you, eyebrows furrowed under the brim of his hat. “People are staring.” You whisper, he purses his lips and looks around before shrugging as you get closer to the door. “Why are they staring?” You weren’t used to attention like that, and you were afraid that somehow it would get back to Boyd that you were here with Gator and you would somehow get in trouble for it, fiance or not. 
“Because i’m the Sheriff’s son, and this is the first time i’ve been out in public with my fiance.” He says, as if it wasn’t that big of a deal. “Sherry probably went and spread the word while we were eating, it’s no big deal Pearlie, the whole town was gonna find out one way or another.” He pushes the door of the diner open with one hand, and with the other he grabs your hand off the back of his shirt, using his grip to push you in front of him out the door. 
“I figured they would have done an announcement in the paper or somethin’ by now.” You mutter, hands in your pockets as you walk side by side to the jeep with him. You don’t argue when he opens the passenger side door for you, but you do give him a shit eating grin as you step up onto the running boards to climb in. 
“Yeah, well, they’re probably leaving that up to us too.” He mutters as he closes your door and quickly walks around the front end. You thought it was rather sweet of him, opening the doors for you, but you wouldn’t say anything, you didn’t want to freak him out. He wastes no time in pulling away from the diner, casually driving your car with one hand while the other rested on the gear shift on the center console. 
You studied his hand, how much bigger than the gear shift knob it was, you could barely fit your own around it but his smothered it, leaving no trace of it under his palm. His thick fingers tensing and untensing around it, as if he were squeezing it like a stress ball. You bite your lip, looking up as the car comes to a stop and he throws it in park. “What are we doing?” You ask, noticing him lifting his ass out of the seat out of the corner of his eye, shoving his hand in his pocket. 
“You ask a lot of questions, you know?” He quips, grabbing a twenty dollar bill out of his wallet holding it out towards you. You simply stare at it, and then lift your big ass, curious eyes to stare at him. He sighs, sagging against the seat. “Go in and get your damned flavored coffee, felt bad they didn’t have it at the diner..” 
You feel your cheeks start to flush, and though you were tempted to argue and tell him he didn’t need to stop, you felt yourself unbuckling your seatbelt because that was just too damn sweet. You start to get out of the car, grabbing your purse when he clicks his tongue at you, shoving his hand at you again. You decide it’s best not to argue, you don’t want to annoy him anymore than you clearly already do without meaning to, you take it, using the grip on his hand to pull him across the console. You kiss his cheek sweetly, pulling away with a smile. “Thank you..” You say, turning and jumping from the Jeep as quickly as you could without hurting yourself. 
Gator is stunned by the show of affection, his neck flushed red from the interaction. He shakes his head, fighting back the smile on his face by putting his vape to his mouth as he watches you happily skip into the fucking coffee shop. “She’s gonna be the death of me..” He grumbles to himself, running a hand down his face after breathing out the fruity flavored vape that he filled his lungs with. 
You’re grateful that he’s with you when you go home because you can sense Boyd’s mood before you can see him, the house is still and quiet, the girls off at school for the day, the nanny is not needed until this afternoon. You walk through the front door with Gator laughing about the way he had narrowly avoided a hoof to his head when he was walking with Bubbles, you giggle at him as he exaggerates the scene that you had had your back turned to, shaking your head as you start for the stairs. 
“Where have you been?” His voice is cold and sends a shiver down your spine. You stop in your tracks, one hand on the bannister and turn to face him. You don’t dare look at him, but you put a complacent smile on your face nonetheless. You can feel Gator behind you, his hands sliding into his pockets much like they were on the first time he had been to your so-called home. 
“I was on that ride with Roy,” You say, calling Gator’s father by his name, he tenses behind you at the mention of the man, and you’re tempted to glance up at him and offer him a comforting smile. “And we got to talking about the wedding and what not and how i would like his girls to be in it, and he thought it would be a great idea,” You’re starting to babble, and you begin to worry that your words aren’t making any sense because of the way that his face changes. “So now Gator and I are here to pack up a bag for me because we’re going to be watching his sisters while their parents are gone for the weekend..” 
“We stopped and got an early lunch first,” Gator steps in, you feel his hand on your lower back and it brings a sense of calmness to you for some strange reason. “She was hungry..sorry, i shoulda had her call you or somethin’ didn’t mean to make you worry, Sir..” 
Boyd is quiet for a long beat, his jaw ticking like it does when he’s angry and trying not to show it. You swallow back your fear knowing that you’re safe with Gator here. 
“When will you be back?” He narrows his cold eyes at you, they hold no emotion other than the contempt that you know he feels for you, and that makes you nervous for what you’ll endure when you come home Monday afternoon, but grateful for the time you’ll have away. 
“I’ll be back Monday afternoon, after his parents come home.” You say, tired of the conversation and no longer wanting to be involved. You turn and start heading up the stairs, knocking Gator’s hand from your back as you leave without being dismissed, something you’re sure you’ll hear about next week. “See you then.” 
Gator is quick to follow behind, giving your step father a friendly smile as he clambers up the stairs behind you. “What was that all about?” He asks in a hushed voice as he follows onto the second floor landing. 
You shake your head and walk past your sisters’ room and farther on to yours, locking the door behind you. You don’t notice the way Gator’s eyebrows pinch when he notices you’ve barricaded yourselves in the room by locking it. 
“He’s an asshole.” Is all you say, shrugging off the encounter before heading to your closet to find your suitcase. 
When you come out you see Gator with his hands in his pockets again, looking around your bedroom, the one area of the house that was completely and utterly you. Pink and red accents, white frilly lace..teddy bears and fluffy pillows and blankets..the room was so..you. He had gotten his attention caught to a smattering of photo frames on your big white dresser, all of them held you in them, smiling that big beautiful smile of yours (sometimes it would be reaching your eyes, lighting them up happily, but most times it wasn’t), all of them held different people, your sisters mostly, and whom he assumed was a friend from school, a tall brunette with killer legs in a bikini with her arms around you. There was another guy in the photo too that he tried not to be jealous of, but he had his arm around your waist and was grinning down at the two of you as you guys stood on a dock in front of a boat. He loved how happy you looked there in that moment, like your mind wasn’t laden with such heavy burdens like planning a wedding you were legally bound to, or dealing with a clearly tense situation with your step father. His favorite picture though, was one of you and an older woman, your mama, he assumed. You were laughing in the photo a mess of birthday cake frosting smeared across your cheek and some pink tinsel in your hair. The silver balloons behind you said ‘15’. 
“That’s my mama..” You said, sliding up behind him. He jumps, slightly scared. “That’s the only picture i have left of her..Boyd has all the rest, wont let me see ‘em. I think they’re up in the attic somewhere.” You sniff a little, trying not to cry as you turn away, hands on your hips. “Right, lets get this stuff together.” 
After about an hour or so you’ve stuffed the whole suitcase with more clothes than you really need for an entire weekend, Gator had lightened the mood by teasing you when you tried to hide your panties and bras as you packed them, telling you it’s not like he hadn’t seen any before, and he would be seeing yours for the foreseeable future, and then making you laugh at his genuine confusion at your array of shampoos and body washes in the your shower. 
“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re one of those 3 in 1 off the shelf at the grocery store kinda guys..” You laugh, looking at him looking at the four different bottles of soaps in his hands. “Please tell me you use something that costs more than ten dollars on your hair! It’s too pretty not to use cheap crap!” You hadn’t really meant to call his hair pretty out loud, but it really was pretty, you couldn’t deny it.
He doesn’t mention it though and instead looks up at you bewildered. “Are you tellin’ me you spent more than twenty dollars on all this crap combined?” He asks, completely in awe. “Oh my god Pearlie, please tell me you’re not gonna be breakin’ my bank on fuckin’ shampoo- it’s shampoo!” 
The two of you burst out in laughter after a moment and you deemed it best not to tell him how much you spent on hair care quite yet, afraid that he would have an aneurysm if you did. He’s gentlemanly enough to help you carry the suitcase back out to the Jeep. 
He even carries it into his daddy’s house for you, and up the stairs where he shows you his bedroom. He tosses the case unceremoniously onto his bed, where it bounces. You look around for a moment, eyebrows raised as you take in the scenery. It was messier than you had imagined, but it smelled so much like him and his damn vape that you couldn’t help but to take a deep breath of air. The room wasn’t too big, and his queen sized bed took up most of the space, the rest of it littered with his clothes on the floor and posters on the wall..you noticed some trophies on a shelf that you would have to ask about later. 
“It’s not much, and it’s usually not so messy..” He says, you think he might be a little embarrassed by the red flush of his cheeks. “I’m sorry you have to sleep in here with me, but it’s better than the couch or crashing on the floor in the girls’ room..” 
“I don’t mind, Gator..” You say, giving him a little smile as you turn to face him. “It’s a fuckin’ pig stye though.” You laugh and he follows suit, nodding along with you. You had a pretty good idea of what you would be doing to keep yourself busy while Jessica and Maude were at school tomorrow, or until they would come home this afternoon. 
The rest of the early afternoon was spent with Karen giving you a run down of the girls’ schedules and how to feed them and dress them. Something about the woman irritated you to your core, maybe it was the way she clearly held nothing but disdain for her step son, or maybe it as the way that she spoke to you like you were stupid and couldn’t possibly be capable of taking care of her children, either way, it made your eye start to twitch the more you thought about it. 
You were grateful when Roy seemed to have finally had enough of hanging around after he had dutifully packed their bags into his old chevy and got a little snappy with his wife, who quickly scurried out of the door. He gave you a friendly squeezed of your shoulder, his giant hand engulfing your shoulder, before mentioning something to Gator in hushed tones that seemed to only upset the boy as his voice turned tense and cold and his back stiffened like it did earlier in the day. 
The house was quiet once the door shut, creepily quiet once the old Chevy had meandered it’s way out of the gates of the house and down the road of the ranch. You stood in the doorway of the kitchen, not quite sure what to do with yourself as you kept your eyes on your fiance. He’s watching out the windows next to the door, his back muscles still tense. You wondered if he would be upset with you if you asked what his father had said, if you asked if he was okay. You decide against it though. “Gator?” You ask, your voice soft, small and quiet. He hums in response, hands on his hips as he glances back at you. “Shouldn’t we go pick up the girls?” You noticed it was nearing time for school for your own sisters  to be out, and while Gator’s went to a private christian school you figured they probably had the same start and out times as your sisters’ school. “It’s almost three..” 
“Yeah..” He runs a hand down his face, clearing his throat. “Yeah, let’s get going.” 
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glader13 · 2 months
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Meet Me in Malaysia
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A/N: Spoiler warning for season 2
- Wedding is the same day, but not the same year as the Shibuya Incident
Nanami always felt heavy on this day, as if his soul was being pulled down by an anchor. On this day, he could never shake the constant cold that hung over him like a cloud. His bed feels much larger, too big for his room. Too big for him, but he’ll never bring another into it. It’s a place only meant for you and him, it’s a place where your memory and scent lingers in the cloth of the sheets and blankets, in the seams of the mattress. It is on this day, when his soul seems to cry the loudest, yearning for its other half. He feels your presence the most on this day, feeling closer to you, more than ever. Feeling so close that he can pull you back down and into the security of his arms. He can’t bear to look at the wedding picture of the two of you on his nightstand, or any picture of you that he has around his house.
His wedding ring felt like a weight on his finger, encasing him in shame and anger at his failure to protect you. He can still feel the stickiness of your blood splattering on his tuxedo. He can still taste the iron, the bitterness, that got into his mouth. He should’ve been faster, been stronger. Maybe, if he wasn’t there, you would be here. October 31st, the day when his life simultaneously started and ended. His whole future was snuffed out by an attack that went through your chest. He only had you as his, officially, for a couple of hours. The two of you were married for only a couple of hours before he lost you. Instead of showering you with love, he visits the places that you like, that are important to the two of you. Nanami got out of bed, feeling sluggish and dull as he got ready for the day, remembering you, trying to chase remnants of you.
He began his day by parking in a neighboring city next to his first destination. Underneath the sun, he felt alienated. The children were too loud, people were smiling too easily. He felt colder than ever. He walked a couple of blocks to what he thought was an abandoned building but now has been turned into luxury apartments. Nanami felt his heart drop slightly, everything and everyone moved on, but he remained stuck. The history that you two shared was an anchor. He sat on a bench in front of the apartments, thinking of the memory that this place holds. The two of you went on your first mission together here, to exorcise a curse. Nanami smiles to himself at his memory of being in awe of your technique. It was a lightning type, instead of having a domain, you were able to summon lightning. But what made Nanami speechless was your swordsmanship. You moved like air with your katana, as if you were dancing.
You went through curses like they were paper, in milliseconds. It was a guilty pleasure of his, watching you move. His face warmed thinking of the times when you would teach him how to use your katana, your hands over his. Just as he was in awe of you that day, you were in awe of him. He hit his first black flash that day, and your stare made him feel like a knight. But what happened after, started something in his heart that he couldn’t have avoided.
“Damn,” you hunched over your phone, “It’s broken.”
“Your phone, right?” He placed his (broken) phone in his pocket as walked back to you. You dejectedly say “yea” causing him to lightly laugh, at least the two of you didn’t break anything. The two of you gave the cursed spirit one last look, you even kicked it, to make sure that it was dead before walking into the afternoon light. The sun was still shining, as you both stood on the edge of the road, not sure what to do.
“That was all we had to do?” You asked, beginning to walk towards the city area.
“Yes,” he kept pace beside you, “We got done early though.”
“That’s good,” you look at him, “Right?”
“I mean,” he said, “Yes, it shows that we’re efficient, so good job.”
You smiled, “Well, since we have a lot of the day left, we should get food to celebrate.”
Nanami frowned, believing that the best thing to do was to stay put because both of your phones were broken. But as he looked at your smile, he felt the fight in him disappear, suddenly feeling hungry. His face began to burn as he felt himself being led by you toward a random food destination. He noticed how your hand held his like he was going to slip away, and he noticed that his hand was extremely clammy, you were always adjusting your hand to his sweaty one, to make sure that his grip wouldn’t falter.
You led Nanami to a ramen restaurant, it was a cute one, with indoor and outdoor seating, and even a bar. The walls were painted black, coming to life with painted pictures of cherry blossoms. The two of you sat at a booth, near the window, the cushion a welcomed feeling after exorcising a curse. It was silent as you watched the city life bustle underneath the clear sky, drowning in the ambient noise of restaurant chatter.
Drowning in how you felt his eyes watched everything that you did. Every tap of your finger, to how he was ready to ask you huh, after your lips would move. In the silence, he noticed that one cheek was slightly larger than the other resulting from the mission, a scar forming on the other. He noticed how the sun turned your eyes into pools, trapping him in something that he could not understand, but it felt like he had always seemed to miss it.
“Do you have plans for the break?” He asked you, causing you to look up from your ramen.
You focused your attention back outside, looking at the families as you swirled your noodles, you just shook your head, causing Nanami to mentally facepalm as he remembered how your family pretty much dropped you off in a new country, not communicating with you. He thought back to when he found you in a hidden corner at the school, crying at the isolation caused by your parents. Lucky for him, you haven’t left his side since, forming a trio with him and Haibara.
“Just staying at school,” you smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes, “What about you?”
“We have an extra room,” he said without realizing, “You can stay with us, I can’t imagine you being alone for all of the break.”
“Seriously?” You asked, and he nodded, not knowing that he was planting the seeds for something that grew beyond the reach of both of you.
Before he could answer, a loud thud on the window next to the two of you caused you to laugh and him to roll his eyes. Gojo’s face was pressed against the window, his blue eyes animatedly moving back and forth as he mouthed “found you.” Geto called over Shoko and Haibara and your private lunch celebration became a party. But in the loudness, and in between the laughter and jokes, Nanami was the eye of the storm. Complete serenity and the two of you shared secret smiles that went unnoticed by the friends around you.
Nanami chuckled to himself at the memory as he sat in that same booth after visiting the apartments. Though he had nothing beautiful to look at, no one’s hand to hold across the table. It was just him and his thoughts, and he was feeling crushed like his lungs were ready to collapse at any given minute. He didn’t know that he was setting himself up for failure, when he opened his home to you, perhaps if he didn’t, you would be sitting across from him, poking his leg with a smile. He wouldn’t be reminiscing over the same memories every year on your wedding anniversary, sitting in the same restaurant by himself.
After paying for the bill, he walked to his car, still feeling cold. He mindlessly scrolled through the messages on his phone, most of them wishing him a happy anniversary and expressing condolences. He turned off his phone, not having the energy to respond to the messages. As he looked up, he stopped, just now, he heard you. He heard your voice, clear as ever. He spun around, searching the crowd for your eyes, for your face. Just for something to tell him that you’re there, but he found nothing. He sighed, giving the crowd one last look before he went to his next destination, the place where the two of you shared your first kiss.
Nanami drove to Hitachi, the seaside park holding onto the core memories that he had made with you. He walked through the pathways that were surrounded by the flowers in their autumn bloom, remembering the nervousness of that day when he went there to propose to you. He couldn’t talk as he fell to his knees, causing you to think that he tripped. Nanami chuckled, twisting his ring as he made his way to the Ferris wheel, towering in the distance beckoning him.
He stood in line, tapping his foot on the ground, getting lost in a place between the past and present as he thought of the first time that he was on this ride, how softly you kissed him for the first time. You gave him a promise that you never should have made, and he should’ve known better than to hold you to that promise. Nanami settled into the ride, watching the people in line slowly become smaller. As the ride inched up, Nanami closed his eyes, the salty air bringing him closer to that night.
You decide to get Nanami away from the school after Haibara’s death, not being able to stand the distraught look on his face when Nanami passes Haibara’s old dorm. You didn’t go on that mission with the two of them, but you’ll never forget the fear in his voice when he called you asking for help with Haibara. He sounded like a child, each question being broken up by a desperate attempt to keep Haibara’s attention on him. Each time you said “I don’t know” the pit in your stomach grew larger, hating yourself for being so useless.
Then, when he did return with Haibara, the only way that you were useful to him was by holding him. That was all you could do, was hold him, protecting him in your arms. During Haibara’s ceremony, he was silent, with no reaction besides his hand holding yours like a prayer. He was so close to you then, before pulling away. Days filled with conversation, turned to him barely speaking a word to you, leaving you alone. Each day starts with you praying that the two of you will go on a mission so he can talk to you. But he was distancing himself, each time he looked at you his eyes lingered on you, as if you would fade away, ultimately leaving him alone.
You missed him. You missed the times when you would train together, which would turn into you watching him practice his cursed technique. Or when the two of you would study together in your dorm, which would turn into you being wrapped up in his arms, legs intertwined. In those moments, you felt safer than you ever had, feeling as if your souls were being tied together. In the low light of your dorm, he looked like an angel with a soft blush, his lips in the smallest of smiles. You missed having him near, and each night you saw him in the back of your mind, you felt the ghost of his touch.
You missed your friend.
“Let’s go,” you said walking into his dorm, “We’re leaving.”
“To where?” He turned away from his work.
“Out,” you stepped up to him, placing a finger on his lips, “And no arguing.”
The drive to the Hitachi Flower Festival was quiet besides the music that was playing low on the radio. Nanami kept his eyes on the view outside, only commenting about how the two of you would be in trouble once you got back, in which you laughed. The sound of your laughter would have made him crack, but it sounded harsh in his ears. It reminded him of Haibara, how he lost him due to his failure to protect him. He’ll never hear his laugh again, and seeing you laugh made him realize that he doesn’t want to be around when you meet the same fate.
If he distances himself now, it’ll hurt less when something happens. He tells himself that he’s protecting himself, doing it for the benefit of others, of you, if something were to happen to him, he doesn’t want you to bear the burden of guilt. He’ll die happy if you resent him, it’ll be one less person who will be affected by him. Yet, when you reach over and hold his hand, he doesn’t move it, he welcomes the calming touch.
The flowers were beautiful, a sea of baby blue. The breeze in the air created the effect of waves, as they rolled. You and Nanami kept the conversation light, only talking when you felt the need to. But what he lacked in talking, he made up for in his touch. The two of you never left each other’s side, usually walking with your arms linked together, or hand in hand, and it leaves you feeling confused and relishing in the tenderness.
Before Haibara’s death, you and Nanami were cautiously growing closer, beyond friendship. You were on the verge of asking him what those moments were, what they meant, but everything came crashing down and you didn’t, giving him the space to grieve. In the flower fields, Nanami snapped some photos of you (which he still has), and you begged some poor stranger to take pictures of the both of you (which he still also has).
During those pictures, it was the first time that he genuinely had smiled, and looking at you smile as you leaned into him, he swears that he was falling in love. But, he was so scared of losing you. You dragged Nanami to the Ferris wheel, tentatively thinking that the day was going well, he was smiling more than he ever had following the weeks of Haibara’s death.
As you sat across from him, looking at everyone and the flowers losing their shape the higher you went up, you felt your mind wander back to him, to the two of you. You felt your mind buzzing with words, and yet your mouth was unemployed. You wanted to know that you weren’t alone in your feelings, that he sees you, and desires you as you desire him. His hazel eyes were pools in the sunlight, each time his eyes made contact with yours, the air felt heavier, and you felt breathless.
As the Ferris wheel reached its peak, you felt it shudder to a sudden stop, a static-filled voice telling everyone that the ride had temporarily stopped working. You heard Nanami sigh, looking everywhere but your face, as if losing the small confidence he had to look at you. You turned your attention outside, first looking at the ride operators trying to start the ride, then to the ocean, the gentle waves rolling.
“Thank you, for today,” he whispered, “I … I needed it.”
You smiled, before getting up and sitting next to him. It was a tight squeeze, but he created more space by lifting his arm causing you to be glued to his side. In the shifting sunlight through the Ferris wheel box, his eyes were pools of honey. They seemed to have been looking past you, into your soul. In the silence, the air seemed to have come alive, breathing slowly and heavily. In the silence, you noticed everything about him. How your legs were touching, how his arm was draped over you. You felt your eyes being drawn to his face, noticing every beautiful detail. The only thing that you knew was that you wanted to hold him close, never letting him go. He’ll be safe with you. You saw him lean closer, the small space between you becoming ever more smaller. You closed your eyes, expecting his lips, when you opened them he was staring at the floor.
“I can’t,” he mumbled, “I … I don’t want to hurt you too.”
“Hurt me?” You asked, “What do you mean? You’ve never hurt me.”
“I don’t want you to end up like … like him,” he moved his hand back to his side, still not looking at you.
“I don’t want to lose you too.”
“Well,” you began, “That’s unfortunately part of the life that we were born into,” you said, slowly taking his hand, “Everyone dies, but that doesn’t mean you have to live in fear.”
You smiled, feeling your cheeks warm, “I am afraid of losing you, but I can’t stop my heart from wanting to be with you. I can’t convince my heart that I want someone else. I just want it to be the two of us.”
“But what if something happens to you, and I’m not there, or able to save you,” his voice was shaky, “I don’t know what I’ll be able to do without you.”
“That’s why we take things a day at a time,” you leaned into him, “I can’t promise that anything won’t happen to me, but I promise to be there for you, always. Let’s not have the future overwhelm the now. Overwhelm us.”
“You promise?”
“You have me, Kento, always.”
It was a sweet sensation when the two of you kissed. You loved how his hand gently held your face in place, you loved feeling his smile. His lips were soft, tasting like the candy that the two of you shared, drew you in, making you lose your breath. The somewhat sloppy kiss turned into something more passionate as you felt him deepening the kiss, leaving you breathless. You were lost in him at that moment. Lost in the way he was holding you so close, you were lost in his touch. You were lost in his kiss, which was sending your mind into a sensory overload. You were lost in him.
Before Nanami knew it, the ride was over. He looked back inside the box, and for a moment he saw you there, smiling and waving to him. Yet, when he blinked again, you were gone. Nanami looked at the sky, seeing that the sun was slowly setting, he still had places that he needed to go.Nanami found himself wandering the gardens of Jujutsu High, finding it strange how empty it was. He walked underneath the trees, noticing the autumn bloom that made the wedding day beautiful. He still has your wedding dress in his closet, along with all of your clothes. Sometimes, he pulls it out, just to get a sense of you. It’s one of the ways that he feels closer to you. He remembers how the dress looked stunning on you, hugging you perfectly.
The dress had a lace corset top that was off-shoulder. The bottom of the dress was mermaid style. You were comparable to a queen, or something more gorgeous. To Nanami, as he saw you walk down the aisle, he could’ve sworn that you were the goddess of beauty. If only he could have stopped time right there, then maybe you would still be here, instead of in his dreams.
You stood in one of the spare rooms at Jujutsu High, sitting on the windowsill overlooking the wedding down below. The students that were there slowly trickled in along with your friends from your teen years at the school. Your eyes immediately found Nanami, who was listening to an animated Gojo whose arms were flailing as he snapped pictures of everyone and everything. You smiled, opening the note that Nanami left you in the room. It was short, only a sentence, but it still caused your heart to race: only a couple of steps until forever.
Despite the nerves and the packs of gum that you have been chewing to fight the queasiness, there was an undertone of excitement and happiness. The time for you to walk down the aisle couldn’t come fast enough. You went back to the mirror, looking over yourself. Your hands ran over the dress, your fingers rubbing the lacy material, getting lost in thought. Your mind came to life with fantasies of the future: the honeymoon to Malaysia and the sun-soaked days, and then to eventually starting a family, you felt your face burn at the thought. But, waking up with Nanami the next morning, not just as your lover, but as your husband, is what excites you most, more than anything. That moment can’t arrive fast enough.
“You ready?” Gojo peeked into the room.
“Yes, but my hands are gross,” you rubbed them off on a tissue.
“You nervous,” he laughed, “You’ll be fine. He’s waiting,” Gojo offered his arm, “And once you see him, your hands will fade from your mind.”
Gojo was right, the moment your eyes locked with Nanami’s time stopped, just like when you first kissed him. You felt your legs weaken, causing you to grip Gojo’s arm even more. His face lightened up at the sight of you, shining like jewels. Looking at him in your weakened state, you realize that you never wanted to leave. Nanami took your hand, kissing it with a smile. He held your hand throughout the ceremony, sneaking glances and smiles your way which caused your heart to jump. He looked so handsome you couldn’t stop staring. You were trapped in his eyes, feeling flushed whenever you stared into them. His love was consuming you like a fever. But there was forever in his eyes, and it was an ignition.
The two of you finally faced each other, his hands wrapping around yours. You kissed his hand, your lips leaving behind a faint stain. Nanami cleared his throat, preparing to speak. At that moment, everything and everyone disappeared, it was just him and you.
“I guess I can go first,” he quietly chuckled, “Y/N, ever since I met you, I knew that getting rid of you would be impossible, and being here is a testament to that. I love you to the point of self-deprivation. I want to be the one who worships your body, I want you to fade into me, for our DNA to be intertwined. You’re all that I’ll ever want. All that I’ll ever need. I promise to protect you, to always be there.”
Once again, you were too stunned to speak, but you were floating. Feeling so radiant that you swear you could’ve outshined the sun. In his eyes, you were the only person that he could see. He is the answer to your restless heart and aching soul. Only he can put it at ease.
“Kento, your love runs through my veins, the source of my heart,” you smiled, pausing briefly because of the tears threatening to fall over, “I can’t get enough of you, you have become the air that I breathe. When you are near, the air changes, and when you’re far, I do not recognize myself.”
Your hand gently wiped away a tear that fell from his eyes, causing him to smile as he kissed your hand. You took a breath before talking again, “If my sight fails me, I will recognize you by touch alone. Kento, I will always burn for you. I promise to be your heart’s friend, its lifelong song.”
Nanami lifted the veil, revealing your precious face. He could’ve sworn that he died, you were suffocating him, and he hasn’t even kissed you yet. His lips felt like safety, causing your body to erupt in ecstasy. His lips were soft, drawing you in, causing you to lose your breath. He was holding you so close, causing you to be lost in his touch. It was you and him, and you have never felt safer.
Nanami’s heart sank, the happiness that he felt that day was destroyed hours later. He should’ve forced you to stay at the reception, locked you in a room. He should’ve kept you safe. But you insisted, as his wife, you needed to be there with him. Despite trying to force that memory out, he can’t. It’s embedded in his soul.
You played with your ring in the front seat as Nanami drove to meet up with Gojo and the others. In the silence, you were aware of everything, and how your future that was in reach, suddenly felt out of it. Nanami’s face was in a tight frown, his only smile was when his hand squeezed your leg. His smile would disappear though when you would grab his hand, staring into his eyes for some type of comfort.
But you found none, just a look of trying to keep every together. You’ve never been scared to exorcise curses, but as your relationship with Nanami grew deeper and more intimate, you felt your fear blossom. You wanted nothing more than to turn around. In the silence, you were aware of his cologne, now suffocating you. The wedding garter that you spent the whole day imagining how he would take it off, felt like it was cutting off your circulation. You got the foolish idea to pray, but something in you felt dead, an endless pit in your stomach.
“Hey,” you reached for his hand, “I need to tell you about our honeymoon,” he didn’t look at you, so you continued, “It was supposed to be a surprise, but I need to tell you-”
“Don’t,” he squeezed your hand, “Tell me after.”
“What if,” you felt the fear spread across your chest, as a truth settled over you.
“You’re going to tell me after,” he repeated as if saying it again would make it come true.
You only nodded, your mouth stuck together. The rest of the drive was done in silence until you arrived at the destination. It was a massacre of a town. A mess of bodies for the hordes of curses to feed on. You bit back your disgust, steeling your nerves. You felt Nanami quickly grab onto your waist, whispering in your ear to be safe.
The two of you began to split the difference between the curses for that area. It was effortless, your movements were graceful, your weapon driving through the curses before they even realized. You and Nanami fought side by side, his smile was small at the times when you would take his kill. You were cautiously beginning to feel optimistic. You felt enraptured by Nanami watching him move. He was beautiful, looking like a knight. As the fighting dragged on, more hordes replaced the ones that you had cut down. Your energy was waning fast, and looking at Nanami’s heaving shoulders and sluggish movements, you could tell that he was feeling the same. “Just a couple more,” you breathed. He didn’t respond, his eyes were focused on the slow horde that was moving in your direction.
You quickly turned his face in your direction, kissing softly, “Just a couple more, and we can go back to enjoying the rest of our night.”
The two of you tried to continue to stick together, but it was overwhelming. You lost him in the horde, as you desperately searched for his blonde hair. You yelled his name, but your voice was washed away by the noise. You steadied your breathing, trying to convince yourself that he was fine, he promised that everything would be fine. You stumbled through the horde, your eyes open for him, your ears only listening for him, until you found him. You don’t save him and he dies, save him and you’re out of luck, either way, your wedding night will be beyond ruin. You shouted his name again over the chaos, begging him to get up, for his arm to reach for his weapon, but he was gone. He was a vegetable, completely paralyzed, staring blankly in front of him. His eyes were hazy, clouded over, seemingly looking at everything and at nothing at the same time.
You continued to fight through the horde of curses, all while keeping an eye on him and the curse in front of him, which seemed to taunt him by walking around him, playfully pulling out its pointed tail. Every time you seem to get closer to him, another one replaces the curse that you just killed. There always seems to be more. You leaned on your katana, your breathing heavy as you counted how many were in between you and Nanami. It seemed like everything in you had been ripped out and torn apart. You couldn’t move, your legs were made of cement, but you had to move, you had to save him. You felt yourself go on autopilot, slashing through the hordes of curses just to get to him. The world faded out into nothingness, it was just you and him. You blocked the curse’s pointed tail from stabbing Nanami’s chest with your weapon, grunting from the weight of it or from your low energy. You took a protective stance, praying that he would get up soon. Just as quickly as the curse attacked you, you were meeting those attacks with your katana, each connection making your wounds scream out in protest. You knew that you could keep up, but you didn’t know for how long.
Each minor mistake of letting the curse’s spiked tail graze you as a reminder that you’re still fading. You need to find an opening, but it’s not giving you any. You grunted Nanami’s name, urging him to get up, you felt your movements getting sluggish, the curse almost bringing you to your knees multiple times. You needed to end this, to protect him at least. The air around you began to come alive, creating a low hum. The hairs on your body began to stand on end, your katana also seemed to come to life. A low glow and hum came from it, and electric tendrils fizzled in and out, covering the metal. You strengthened your stance, waiting until the curse revealed its opening to you. Then, you saw it.
The attack was supposed to kill the curse, and it did, but there was more. You drove your katana into the curse, summoning lightning as you did. The electricity that was wrapped around the blade, covered the curse when you pierced its chest, making it convulse as it shrieked, covered in the tendrils of lightning. You killed it, but you felt pain, so much pain. It was unbearable, the environment around you was void of air. You looked down to see your wedding dress slowly turn red from where your chest was impaled. Your hands weakly grasped at its tail, your hands slipping until you were able to pull it out causing more blood to fall. The world was swimming, and confusion flooded your senses. The only thing you knew was that you wanted to be in his arms. He caught you before you fell, and he was lost, hopelessness crashing down on him. He whispered your name, pulling out his handkerchief and pressing it against your wound. He hated the haziness in your eyes, how weakly your hand held his.
He should have been able to fight. He hated himself, he hated the mobility of his limbs, how he was able to move when it didn’t matter. The handkerchief was a useless tool, his hand was covered in your blood instantly. All he could smell, all he could see was your blood. He couldn’t talk, every promise of your well-being got caught in his throat. He was losing you after he just got you. He picked you up, shielding you as he began to go back to the car. He’ll take you to a hospital, somewhere where someone can save you because he can’t seem to do it properly. As he held you close, you were fading, slipping away slowly. The moments were rushing past you, infinity seemed closer than ever. You have to talk before you won’t be able to. You coughed, trying to breathe and form words, but he hushed you, telling you to not waste any of your much-needed energy. But you were fading, his promises of tomorrow were not meant for you.
“Malaysia,” your words were barely a whisper. Nanami looked down, unable to hear you over his heart. You repeated the same word, feeling everything in you drained.
“What about it?” He asked though he wasn’t focused on you. He was erratic, he could have sworn that his car was right there. He looked at trees and destruction around him, the place looking like where he had just come from. In the dark, he felt small, everything was looming over him, closing in. When it comes to you, he can never save you. When it comes to people that he loves, he can never save them.
“Our … our honeymoon,” you murmured, “It was supposed … supposed to be in Malaysia.”
You looked up, weakly smiling at him. In your eyes, he felt his heart break. In your eyes, he saw the beginning of the end. His future was brief, snuffed so easily like the flame of a candle. Nanami felt his lips quirk upwards, smiling just to mirror you, even though he felt nothing inside but crippling loneliness, he smiled just to ease your heart. He kissed you again, ignoring the breaking of his heart, this will be the last time that he will kiss you. As he kissed you, he swore that he’ll never forget you. He’ll commit everything that is of you to memory. He’ll tuck you away in his heart where the forgetfulness of time and age can’t touch you.
“I love you,” you whispered, “I’m so happy that you made me yours,” you reached out for his face, turning it towards you. You saw his smile, despite the tremble of his lips, the tears pooling in his beautiful eyes. You saw him, as if for the first time, and he looked even more handsome. Like an angel.
He dipped his head down, softly kissing your forehead, unable to move his mouth. Unable to accept that you’re leaving him. Impossibly, he could still smell your perfume, as he held you, he remembered the feeling of grabbing the lace of your dress when he kissed you earlier that day. He kissed your lips, dying at the shape of a smile on your lips.
“I love you,” he whispered back, holding you closer than ever as if that’ll give him more time with you.
But it didn’t.
-
“Try it again Shoko,” Gojo said, standing on the other side of the medical table. He was gripping the edges of the table, using his six eyes to catch a glimpse of your soul, of anything.
Nanami was sitting on the floor behind them, unable to stand, unable to be present. He was stuck. Stuck in his mind, stuck in the situation, stuck in his failure. He didn’t clean your blood off of him, in a twisted way it was the last memory that he had of you, and he didn’t want to depart from you any more than he had to. He watched them with glazed eyes, everything in the room was distant and hazy. He felt hopeless, another person who he loved was dead because of him. He looked up, and through the haze of tears and grief, he didn’t see your lifeless body, but he saw Haibara.
“We’ve been here for almost two hours, I don’t know why, but I’m having no effect,” her voice trembled.
“We aren’t leaving her, try harder Shoko,” Gojo said, looking back at Nanami. After another grueling hour, which felt like an eternity to Nanami, Shoko stopped, quickly cleaning her eyes.
“We can try again-”
“No, I’m not doing this anymore, not unless he wants me to continue,” Shoko said before sitting next to Nanami on the floor. She took his hand, finally causing him to be drawn into the present, “Do you want me to continue, or do you want her to rest?”
Nanami died twice that day. He died watching you get stabbed, and he died now, once again your life being in his clumsy hands. He hid his face, crying into his hands. His chest was in constant pain, as he was torn between letting you go and being selfish. He could never find another, you’re his other half. That alone was a good enough reason to keep you, to make Shoko keep trying to revive you. But, would you be the same? Would you still be his love, or would you just be a walking corpse, without any emotion? To live is to feel, and he knows that he can’t take away what makes you sentient.
He can never harm you, will never harm you. He values you too much. He can never stop loving you, no grave will ever shake the foundation of his love for you. You’re too entwined in his DNA, in his soul.
“Let her rest,” he whispered. Even though he knew that he did the right thing, he felt like he made a mistake. He felt responsible for your death again. And, he wept for you in totality. His cries were echoing throughout the empty room, as he cradled you. He apologized profusely and confessed his love until his voice gave way. Until his words were just cries. And when he got back to his empty home, he found the tickets for your honeymoon to Malaysia.
He burned the tickets, there was no point in going without you. But as he watched the flames consume the tickets, felt the heat on his face, he felt colder, emptier than ever.
He was drunk on the day of your funeral, he even kept a flask on him, hidden away underneath his unkempt suit. He was so drunk that Gojo had to get him out of bed, had to force him to get ready. Nanami didn’t stop drinking that day, he had to make sure that he didn’t feel anything, and that he wouldn’t dwell on the fact that the funeral was happening because of his decision. The decision that he constantly thinks about, floating between uneasy peace and regret. He keeps thinking what if, and it drives him insane. He wasn’t able to talk at your funeral. The words that he had written were blurred, forming together. He couldn’t breathe up there, everything was too loud and he just wanted to take you and hide. Each time he looked at you, it felt as if a noose was around his neck. Instead of talking, he stepped away from the podium, looking at you and he felt himself automatically stumble towards you, falling to his knees. His tears staining your clothing as he wished you would tell him that it’ll be okay.
Nanami left the garden, driving to where he could always talk to you. Nanami did his normal routine when he got to your grave. He moved away any dead leaves and picked up any trash that may have flown over to your grave. He dusted off the stray dirt, before lighting a candle. It was rose-scented, drowning him in your presence. For a moment he thought that he felt the soft touch of your lips on him, and heard your laughter in the breeze. He didn’t know what was in the air today, but he felt closer to you as if he’d run into you at any moment. He then went over what he did that day, talking quietly to not disturb the other people who were visiting their loved ones. As he talked, he felt himself pausing at certain points, imagining your laugh or comment. Nanami then got situated, pulling out a book to read. This is how he would end his anniversary, sitting by your grave. He could spend hours here, hell, he would live here if he could. He would do anything to not be separated from you, to see you again. That would be a gift.
Death would be a gift.
The ringing of his phone caused him to stop reading, a message that he was needed in Shibuya. He sighed, packing up his things, “Happy anniversary, love. Sorry that I can’t be here for a little bit longer. Talk to you later.” And, as he walked away he swore that he heard your voice. It was a mirror of his message, your voice whispering back see you soon.
Shibuya Incident after Jogo:
He walked along the shore, taking in the sea breeze, and listening to the trees rustle lightly. Overhead, birds dotted the sky, even diving into the water to catch their prey. Nanami knew the place immediately, seeing this beach a million times on your computer when you thought that he wasn’t looking or paying attention to you. Then, he immediately knew where he was because of your last words to him, revealing the location of the honeymoon. A beach house that was free from curses, free from reality.
It was going to be a beach house dedicated to loving you, which Nanami had all planned out. He continued to walk along the shoreline, getting lost in the area of infinity, where the sea meets the sky, getting lost in his thoughts of you. The hole that you created felt larger than ever in this place, his soul seemed to ache with fervor as if signaling that you too were in this place.
He had always planned on visiting here more than once, maybe even starting a family tradition, he chuckled to himself imagining you holding his child’s hands at the water’s edge, pointing in the distance talking about the birds trying to get the fish. He could imagine how beautiful you would look, with your skin kissed by the sun, and your sundress bunched up so it wouldn’t get wet. He reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet, opening it to the picture of you. He pulled out his ring from his pocket, turning it over in his hand, the once feeling of pride being overwhelmed by pain. He needs you by his side, it’s been too long since he felt your arms, your kiss, hearing you call him Nami.
“I just want to hold you,” he whispered, kissing his ring, “To never lose you again.”
He kept on walking along the shore, humming to himself when he saw someone kneeling at the edge as if looking for gold. He didn’t know who this person was, but he couldn’t stop his feet from taking him in that direction, as if he were stuck in this person’s gravitational pull. Drawn to them like the sea to the shore.
~
Nanami slashed through the horde of curses, not thinking, just fighting. He was tired, so tired of the fighting. He wasn’t even himself, he felt out of his body, watching himself continue to fight as if he were possessed by another being. His mind was torn in half, being in two different places. He wanted, no needed to focus on saving the others, breaking down the barriers to allow none sorcerers to escape.
But he kept on slipping to the beach, to the mysterious person standing in the water. Slowly, the curses disappeared again and he was on the beach, able to breathe again and his body free from pain. He saw that the mysterious person was a woman, her face covered by a sun hat, the red bow matching her sundress. He quietly watched her run her hands through the sand, noticing that she had a sand dollar in her lap.
“Excuse me,” he said, “Do you know where we are?”
“Nanami?”
~
There he saw you, in the horde of curses. Looking just as beautiful as you were when he last saw you. You turned to look at him, smiling, ignoring the curses around you, and he was stuck, dead to everything and everyone. All he could see was you, impossibly close, beckoning him. Moonstruck, as memories of you flooded his heart, caused him to drop his weapon, and stumble to you. He stumbled to the place where his mind could focus on, he didn’t sense Mahito, all he sensed was you. Your perfume, your soft touch, it was all you.
~
She turned to face him and he fell to his knees, crying, though not from sadness. His mind couldn’t comprehend what he was feeling, who he was seeing, who he was holding. You were immediately swept into his arms as he fell over with a splash. He held you against him as he nuzzled your neck, warmth spreading over you feeling his lips graze desperately against your skin. You fell to pieces staring into his eyes, you felt as if you were free falling into hues of safety and love. He pressed his lips against yours, tentatively at first, as if you would disappear if he kissed any harder. But you didn’t slip from his hands, you stayed, and he still couldn’t understand what he was feeling, but he knew it was joy. That the part of him that you stole when you died was healing itself the longer he held you against him.
Seeing that you were still in his arms, he kissed you harder, softly biting your lower lip to open the kiss, and he missed your lips against his. He kissed you as if you were time itself, trying to barter for more moments. He felt that he could finally breathe again after years of being devoid of you. Your lips were the oxygen that he needed, and each time you pulled away to breathe, his lips would chase you, pulling you back. He couldn’t get enough of you, mumbling apologies each time he nipped on your skin.
“Kento,” you murmured, “Kento,” you said again, holding his face, “I wasn’t expecting you to be here, so soon,” you felt your face drop a little bit.
He smiled, it was small and rueful, as he leaned into your touch. You moved his hair from his face, immediately thinking of the time when he had one bang to the side of his face, secretly you rejoiced when he changed his hairstyle because it revealed more of his handsome face. You smiled once again, leaning into him causing your noses to touch lightly. You then kissed him softly, feeling him smile as he said, “Well, you left me first.”
“Not fair,” you kissed him again, “I saved your ass, remember?”
You didn’t hear him laugh, he just stared, gently touching your face as if you’re fine China. You asked him what was wrong, and he shook his head, dipping down to kiss you again. You breathed him in, trying to catch up on all the missed time when you weren’t able to smell his cologne.
“What’s wrong, Nami?” You asked again.
He smiled, “You look even more beautiful than the day that I lost you.”
“And you, even more handsome,” you kissed him again, “But we’re here now, together. We have an eternity to admire each other, to love each other.”
Nanami nodded, still unable to talk or believe that he was there. That he’s talking to you, holding you again. But it’s real, you’re real, and he has never been happier. You took his hand, beginning to walk, to where Nanami didn’t care, he’s holding your hand, and that’s all that matters. Just the two of you again, and he felt just as moonstruck when he first saw you.
“There’s someone else here,” you smiled.
Before he could form a question, Nanami was tackled by Haibara, causing you to laugh. Once again Nanami was dumbfounded, nothing but tears and happiness flowing through him. He’s reunited with the people that he loves, and he doesn’t have to worry about them leaving him or him leaving them. As Haibara joked about Nanami being an old man, Nanami looked at you sharing a secret smile. And you sat next to him, kissing him on his forehead. A kiss of promise, a kiss of forever.
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dotster001 · 1 year
Note
I would very much like a gn version of the type of person they woukd like pretty please!
What Kind of Person they Like
Summary: gn! reader. What kind of person they say they want versus the one they end up with
CW: some of the boys are assholes with their answers, it's explained away in the who they end up with section, so take it with a grain of salt, also these are just my opinions. If you don't agree that's ok! Also, if you read the Fem/masc versions some of this is different but some of it is the same. Sorry if you were hoping your fave would have a different opinion.
A/n: putting the tag list in here as well in case some of you are gn. If you're Fem or masc! My bad guys! Also now that I finished the trilogy I'm so done 😭 formatting on this app takes so fucking long
Masc Version Fem Version
Heartslaybul 
Ace Trappola
What he says
"hmm, a great bod and an ass you can't resist the urge to smack. Why are you giving me that look? Sevens, fine! Okay they're kind and have an ass that- hey don't throw stuff at me!"
Who he ends up with
Ace is going to be naturally attracted to a person that holds him accountable. He's also looking for someone who he can tease at all hours of the day. He wants someone he can have fun with, but who will also give him the cold hard facts. But they also take care of him when he's down. He's hiding a lot of insecurity under his cool guy exterior, so if they lets him snuggle, and let him whine, and then whisper how much they love him, he'll be a happy man. And he's really big on them not knowing anything about basketball. He's a fucking show off.
Deuce Spade
What he says
"Huh, I've never really thought about it. Um, I guess they're nice and funny, and aren't scared of my past. I'd also want them to be a little like you, Y/N….not that I like you! Well, I like you, not like like you, shit I'm sorry! This isn't sounding any better…"
Who he ends up with
He really means it when he says he wants someone like you. You're one of his first friends, and, in his mind, the person you date/marry should be your best friend. But if it's not you he ends up with, he will probably be attracted to someone who's book smart, but less street smart. A little "dumb" like him, in a cute kind of way. He likes a cuddler, and maybe someone who is shorter than him so that he can feel like he's swallowing them whole when he wraps his arms around them. Also, someone who encourages him and helps him with his homework/paperwork. 
Riddle Rosehearts
What he says
"I don't have time for a relationship right now….but I think I want someone well behaved who follows the rules- what are you smirking at? Just because you're a rule breaker doesn't mean everyone is. And maybe someone smart. No, definitely someone smart."
Who he ends up with
As much as he hates to admit it…he's attracted to rule breakers. Not as bad as Ace obviously, he's not trying to go gray early. But if they say something like "let's have a non herbal tea" when it's time for only herbal tea…damn what a rush. By the time he gets serious with someone, he'll be confident enough in himself to cut ties with his mother, so they have to be strong willed, and willing to live off of a low budget for a while.  He'll need someone understanding, who knows he'll have relapses and be too much and too angry sometimes, and they have to be understanding of that, and encouraging of improvement, or he'll live with guilt for the rest of his life. 
Trey Clover
What he says
"Someone who's willing to settle down and grow fat and old with me. You're laughing, but I'm going to be running my parents bakery, and feeding people is my love language. Speaking of, you better finish off that slice of cake before the others steal it."
Who he ends up with
Trey isn't that picky. He really means it when he says he wants someone to get old and fat with. That's his dream. Running a bakery with his spouse by his side, and growing old together as your own kids grow up and bring home their own spouses. But he also wants someone he can blindside with his sadistic side. Someone who'll enjoy that side of him, but also someone who easily forgets it's there. It makes things more fun for him.
Cater Diamond
What he says
"Ha ha someone trendy and totes hot. Someone totally cammable. Aw, are you jealous? Don't worry, you'll always be my fave, even if you're not my otp."
Who he ends up with
Cater wants someone who won't disappear when he looks away. Yes, if they're "cammable" that's the first thing he's looking for, but when all is said and done, if they seem like they're going to be flaky, he won't take it too seriously either, as a defense mechanism. He needs a person with mental endurance, because he's going to spend the beginning of the relationship trying to scare them off. Not that he wants to, he just needs to know he won't be left alone like he usually is. He is going to be attracted to someone who humors his trends and magicam addiction, but who also sees through him. Someone balanced.  They see the real Cay Cay, but they're also willing to be his "trophy spouse" online.
Savannaclaw
Jack Howl
What he says
"Oh, I uh, well someone who can keep up on a run with me I guess…"
Who he ends up with
Jack says he wants someone who can work out with him. And he would really be happy if he had a partner who was as active as him…but he'd also be happy  with a soft squishy partner. He gets blushy thinking about holding someone soft and plush against his firm muscles. But he's flexible. In the end he won't choose his future spouse based on appearances. Wolf beastmen mate for life, so the main thing he is looking for is loyalty. Loyalty, and someone who would want to raise lots of kids with him. As long as you have those two traits, nothing else really matters to him.
Ruggie Bucchi
What he says
"Relationships are expensive, shihihi. Tell you what, you find me someone with sticky fingers, and we'll eat the rich together."
Who he ends up with
This is a deflection.If you're asking about a specific gender, Ruggie has two drastically different responses, mostly due to the large and in charge hyena women. But if you take that aspect away, deep down he longs for someone who he can settle down with, who will call him a good boy and pamper him (whether he is the breadwinner or they are), and who he can just live a happy life, slowly rising up to middle class, with. He also is looking for someone to snuggle the night away with. He gets lonely at night.
Leona Kingscholar
What he says
"Body pillow"
"That's not-"
"Body pillow"
Who he ends up with
Like Hyena's, lion women are the boss. So take the gender aspect away, and what he's searching for is someone who will make him feel loved. Whether it's through shouting and dragging him to therapy or soft caresses and whispered praise, he doesn't mind. He wants to feel loved and first in someone's life. He doesn't care how it happens. He's a surprisingly flexible guy.
Also, they have to accept that nighttime is when they're a body pillow. That's an absolute must.
Octavinelle
Azul Ashengrotto
What he says
"Why do you wish to know? Are you attempting to reach my standards? Ha ha, let's see. Someone who is mysterious, who is willing to dress stunningly, and sit in my lap when I make deals, so that competitors can see what a high value man I am."
Who he ends up with
If that didn't make you want to throw up 🤢. He'll be attracted to someone who makes him feel beautiful in subtle ways. He knows how easy it is to spin a verbal web of lies. But there's some things you can't fake. Like allowing someone to rest on your lap, and caressing their hair. Or squeezing someone's hand gently when you have to let go. Or pressing a kiss to someone's cheek after you help them straighten their outfit. It's the soft romantic moments that'll speak to Azul when he finds his love. Aside from that, he's not looking for anything in particular. Just someone who makes him feel loved and beautiful.
Jade Leech
What he says
"Fu fu who's to say? Perhaps you are the lover of my dreams. Or not."
Who he ends up with
They're someone who can see through him. Someone who never compares him or confuses him for his twin. They're smart. Very smart. They eat his mushrooms and go on hikes with him. They are  patient with Floyd. What Jade is looking for….is Jade. Someone like that is the only one who can truly keep up with him.
Floyd Leech
What he says
"Aw Shrimpy! Are you worried? Don't worry, whoever they are, I'll still squeeze ya!"
Who he ends up with
He's looking for someone fun. That's his only criteria. At least that's what he says. He can't be sure if he loves them because they're fun, or if they're fun because he loves them. In that sense, it's sort of a soulmate situation for Floyd. Whatever will be will be. He'll just know. 
Also they have to be squeezable. 
Scarabia
Kalim al Asim
What he says
"I love everybody!"
"But-"
"Have some of this ice cream, it's amazing!"
Who he ends up with
He wants someone he can spoil, but he doesn't know that. It's something in his subconscious. He doesn't want things back either. So they have to be someone who is okay with being spoiled, and doesn't feel guilty about it. He's going to be attracted to someone who loves life like him, but also helps to keep him grounded. And if they have a spark of danger in them, oh man, he'll be simping so hard. 
Jamil Viper
What he says
"I'm not going to even think about it until my freedom is assured. Kalim has promised, but it would be irresponsible to force someone into servitude with me."
Who he ends up with
Jamil will fall for someone who truly appreciates him. Someone who will offer him help with his work (it doesn't matter if it's good help or not, he appreciates it either way). Someone who will pamper him. Someone who gets excited about the prospect of dropping everything and seeing the world with him. Someone who will be his partner, but who will also be willing to take turns ruling the house, so that they both can pretend to be the royal who is getting served from time to time.
Pomefiore
Epel Felmier
What he says
"Um, someone buff who knows I wear the pants in the relationship. Don't laugh, I like the idea of being surrounded in a hug of muscles! Stop laughing!"
Who he ends up with
Epel wants someone he can provide for, who he never has to prove his masculinity to. Someone who supports his ambitions, and believes in him. Someone who he doesn't have to change for. And if they want to be a cutesie house spouse for him…he won't complain.
Rook Hunt
What he says
"Mon Trickster, I can find beauty in everyone."
Who he ends up with
What he says is actually true. He can and will fall in love with every kind of person. It's hard to say who he will tie himself to, in the end. It'll be someone who he heavily bonds with and imprints on. It's a lot like with Floyd. Essentially a soulmate situation.
Vil Schoenheit
What he says
"Hm. Why do you want to know, potato? I suppose they're professional, and beautiful, and care about their image enough that they don't cause a scandal."
Who he ends up with
The thing about Vil is, he's not that far off from Rook in his take on beauty. He doesn't so much believe in conventional beauty, or societal beauty standards. He knows everyone has an individual definition of health and beauty. When he says he's looking for a beautiful person, he's looking for someone who's willing to reach their full potential. Or, more accurately, to allow him to help them reach they're full potential. Vil never admits it, but he adores pampering and styling people. His love language is helping people look their best. So if they're someone who knows themself enough to know what style they like, he'll appreciate it, and take up the mantle of doing the hard work, ie making outfits, styling hair and makeup, formulating skin care etc.  TLDR, he wants a confident self possessed lover he can dress like a doll, and show off.
Ignihyde
Idia Shroud
What he says
"-------------" mutes ipad.
In his head, he doesn't think any man would ever love him. But his dream lover is a sexy anime cat person.
Who he ends up with
What he'll be attracted to is someone who is patient, speaks at a reasonable volume, and is assertive enough to make him leave his room. Essentially, winning Idia's heart is a siege. You'll have to starve him out. That's the patience bit. The reasonable volume comes from him being easily scared by loud noises. Assertive enough to make him leave his room…well that speaks for itself. He wants to believe he can be part of the outside world, and the one he will fall for will be willing to show it to him.
Diasomnia
Sebek Zigvolt
What he says
"They are someone of noble bearing, who shall help me defend my liege!"
Who he ends up with
He'll fall for a someone who is stronger, mentally, physically, etc., than him. A person who can put him in his place. A lover who speaks, and it makes him shut up, and sit pretty. They're assertive, and can come off as abrasive to others but to Sebek? Sevens, he'd die for a smidgen of their affection.
Silver
What he says
"I don't think it's worth it to try and define the one I'll fall in love with. There are so many wonderful people, and my father always told me that love is the greatest mystery in this world. Who's to say who I'll fall in love with?"
Who he ends up with
Silver will fall for someone soft. The entire romance will be soft. Soft caresses in the moonlight. Soft kisses in the morning. Soft fingers gently intertwining.  They'll be empathetic about his sleep condition, never blaming him since it's not his fault. They'll be gentle with his animal friends. But they'll also be strong in some ways. They'll be someone who will fight the metaphorical (or literal, Silver lives an interesting life) dragon for their sleeping Prince Silver. They'll be sweet and kind. Like a hybrid of Prince Philip and Princess Aurora.
Lilia Vanrouge
What he says
"Fu Fu Fu wouldn't you like to know."
Who he ends up with
Lilia can and has fallen for every kind of person. He's lived a long time. He's had the time to romance lots of lovers.  What he'd probably fall for in this stage of his life, is someone he can tease, and play around with, but who is also ready to settle down a little bit. Someone who enjoys the little things in life. He's getting a little old. He wants to build onto his family that he already has. Silver can stand to have three or ten more siblings, right?
Malleus Draconia
What he says
"You."
Who he ends up with
You.
....
Tag list-@shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0 @lleoll @eccedentesiast-sapphic
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pandorascripts · 1 year
Text
I Bet You Think About Me
pairing: wednesday x reader
cw: angst, cheating, tyler galpin.
note: you should know that I made morticia and gomez the mean rich type of people to fit this.
summary: catering your ex-girlfriend’s wedding was certainly not what you wanted to do, but it proves to be fruitful as you get to say goodbye— and taunt her.
song: I Bet You Think About Me (feat. Chris Stapleton) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift ;).
proof read like once. I’m finding a lot of mistakes because I’m tired LMAO.
SEND IN REQUESTS BASED ON TS SONGS!
:—-:—- —-:—- —-:—- —-:—- —-:—- —-:—- —-:
It had been exactly three months since Wednesday had called off your relationship. She claimed you were too childish and that you were just too different from her— that you couldn’t fit into her world. Looking back on it now you can only laugh, the true reason why Wednesday broke up with you was because she was too scared of the consequences.
Despite what she claims and what others believe, Wednesday does care about what her family thinks. And her family, the richest and most powerful people in all of New York, had high expectations in who she would date. They certainly didn’t think (or even know) that Wednesday wanted to date someone below her status, below her age for that mater. Nine years wasn’t too bad, but her parents wanted Wednesday to be nine years younger than her rich, male lover. Unfortunately you didn’t fit any boxes where it mattered. 
But as you’re catering her wedding, watching Wednesday dance with her new husband, you really can’t help but chuckle. Wednesday’s been staring at you for the entire event, and you know damn well she’s been thinking about you. You see it in the way she eyes your work attire, — a tight, clad semi-formal suit— and in the way she frowns the moment her husband draws her attention away from you. It’s obvious. 
Buts it’s only until the service is almost over that she approaches you. 
“Hi.”
You look down to the glasses you’d been cleaning previously, trying to help out your friend with his own job. “Mrs. Galpin, is it?”
Wednesday scoffs, arms crossing over her chest. “Yeah, it is now.”
You nod, wiping a white cloth against the crystal glass of the cup. It’s almost as thick as the tension between you two. 
“Look, I want to tell you that I’ve moved on, and that I think it’s really immature of you to show up here.”
Your eyes widen drastically as you stare at Wednesday and her audacity. Grabbing her by the wrist, you drag her into the nearest storage closet so you can scream at her. She doesn’t stop you because she wont dare to make a scene with her filthy-rich family here. Her wrist in your hand brings up dead memories, memories long buried under sadness and anger. 
When the door clicks shut, you finally turn around to yell at her. “I’m doing my job, Wednesday. I didn’t have a choice because unlike you I can’t just wait until my trust fund opens. As you’ve made very, very, very, clear, I don’t have one!”
Wednesday rolls her eyes, her fingers adjusting the hem of her dress. “Just don’t cause anything. You and I both know that you were always dramatic.”
“Oh, I’m dramatic? You got engaged a week after we broke up to please your parents.”
“We were never going to work out! I like him! It wasn’t for my parents.”
“I don’t have to be one of your many shrinks to know you’ll never be happy with him. In fact,” you step closer to Wednesday, rage clouding the thoughts telling you to leave it be, “I bet you think about me.
“You’re out here marrying rich, handsome guys and trying to chase a status your parents want you to have, but I bet you’ve never felt so locked up in your life.”
Wednesday shudders, her cold gaze darting around your face.
“Why’s that?” she asks, still trying to act like she’s in power.
“Because you never felt more free than when you were with me.”
Wednesday gulps, her head whipping to the storage closet as she tries to not look at you. She fails, and proves your point beautifully. You shake your head, disbelief and disappointment the only thing you feel.
“Goodbye, Wednesday. Enjoy the wedding and let me do my job peacefully.”
Your hand retreats from the wall behind her, when they got there you can’t remember, and you turn around. Wednesdays hands reach out to grab your face before you have enough time to register what’s happening. 
Her lips are still just as soft as they were that night she left you. Her kisses are still sweet and passionate, always expressing what she can’t say through words. You sigh, forgetting about the wedding, about her parents, and about her husband waiting for another dance just beyond that door. 
It doesn’t take long until your fingers thread themselves in her dress and then you remember all of those things and more. You remember why she dumped you— why you have to let her go. You pull away harshly, taking a few quick steps back and sprint out the door. Wednesday doesn’t bother chasing after you. 
You run to your friend James, alerting him of your well-earned break that you decide to take. He nods, waving you off as you dart out of the venue. The early spring snow sets against the slush and you sigh. The cold grounds you, remembering the night three months prior. 
You shift on Wednesdays lap, laying your head on her shoulder. She’s reading in peace, a book her friend recommended, you recall. Her friend had claimed it had changed his view on life, and had told Wednesday it would do wonders for her. She was only reading it to poke fun at it. 
The movie in the background was long forgotten by you, your eyes instead lining her jawline and the soft curve of her nose. 
“Wednesday.”
“Yes?” she asks, flipping the page over. She doesn’t look at you, or even stop reading her book. 
You’ve been noticing this for the past two weeks now, her attention has been dwindling. Wednesday’s become more stressed and angry. Fights have been more frequent, at least two every other day. It’s always over minuscule stuff too, like how you dress, where you work, how Wednesday doesn’t like the way you hold your fork, or the way you laugh like a kid. You told her maybe it’s because you are one. After all, you’re twenty two and she’s thirty-one. Wednesday ignored you for hours that day. 
“Will you put the book down?”
“Why?” Again, no eye contact. 
“Because I want to have a real conversation.”
“We are.”
You scoff, swinging your feet off of her thighs and stand up, the book getting knocked to the floor. You don’t apologize despite her shouts, instead you grab your keys and shrug on your coat. 
“Where are you going?” she demands, hands trying to grab the keys out of your pocket. 
You swat her away and tie your shoelaces. “For a walk.”
“The hell you are! It’s eleven at night and December, it’s too late and too cold.”
You ignore her again, swinging the door open and skipping outside. Wednesday doesn’t follow you, but you don’t need to look back to know that. The door slamming tells you enough. 
That night when you got home, a clear head and a fresh apology with you, Wednesday called you childish. She told you that dating you was a mistake, that meeting you was one. And then her bag of belongings— you remember frowning over the fact that she only had an unpacked bag of stuff— was thrown into her corvette. 
It didn’t matter how much you clung to her, begging that she didn’t do this, she shrugged you off and left without so much as a glance back.
When your five minute break was over, you walked back into the wedding and continued working. Wednesday wasn’t anywhere to be seen for the rest of the night.
Maybe it wasn’t the goodbye you wanted, but it sure was a loud one. All you can hope is that Wednesday is tormented by what you once had, because at least you can certainly bet she thinks about you. 
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wooahaes · 11 months
Text
an act of caring for others
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pairing: non-idol!husband!s.coups x gn!reader
genre: fluff. married life au. grad student!cheol mentions.
word count: 1.0k~
warnings: food mentions. sappy loving domestic life <3
daisy's notes: hes just so husband shaped idk what to tell u
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In your married life, you never expected to become the kind of couple who hosted dinner parties regularly. 
Maybe “regularly” wasn’t the best word for it. It wasn’t as though the two of you hosted these nights every month or anything. Simply put: you learned a couple things in your two years of marriage. One was that several of your grad student husband’s friends were crushed underneath the weight of classes and jobs (you, thankfully, only had a job to worry about). Two was that a few of his friends couldn’t cook to save their lives (Wonwoo and Soonyoung and sometimes Vernon…). And three: you genuinely, truly loved cooking for other people. This one wasn’t exactly new, though. Sure, you loved cooking for your now-husband while the two of you were dating (sometimes he’d help where he could, always in love with the domesticity of it), but you loved cooking for your friends and family, too. 
A little over a year ago, you had invited his friends over with this ‘bring a side dish or a dessert, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to’ tacked onto the message. Hell, you’d mentioned that they could bring a lunchbox if they’d like to take leftovers—but they’d have to settle things out themselves. It was during that first night that you really got to listen to a few of them talking about life. You and Seungcheol were pretty lucky to not have to worry too heavily about things, since your job paid pretty damn well and you both also had family to fall back onto. But Joshua had been talking about how he kinda missed being in the U.S. sometimes because his mom only visited so often, and when you heard Seungkwan talk about missing Jeju and his family…
Well. It tugged at your heartstrings enough to ask Seungcheol how he felt about maybe picking a day every few months so that most of his friends could come together for a meal. He’d agreed pretty easily, admitting his own concerns over people like Junhui and Minghao who didn’t have family here. So the two of you started hosting little dinners here and there, always for people who were feeling homesick. Sometimes that would mean Seungkwan would call you up and ask if he could join the two of you sometime, other times it was Jun saying he would come help make dinner and Minghao would bring wine. 
Other times were like today: you and Seungcheol waking up early on a day you didn’t have to work, and immediately getting started in the kitchen after you’d had breakfast. This time, Seungcheol would have to stop helping in order to study for a bit since he had a test tomorrow morning in one of his classes, but that was fine. It was the prepwork that was the most hell, in your opinion: endless chopping and whatnot. 
You couldn’t help but admire him now. He was standing near the fridge, glasses sliding down his nose as he studied a recipe book, hair half-pulled up. Sometimes you thought that you would marry him again if he asked you, no matter how silly that would be. 
“You’re staring again,” he hummed, smiling. 
“I’m admiring, thank you.” 
He chuckled, turning to kiss you as you came closer. “I’m doing the math in my head,” he said, turning back to the book. “I might have to run to the store for more of this…” He tapped at something on the page, although you didn’t really care to look. You were still admiring him. He noticed a second later, and smiled into another soft kiss. “I hate that you’ll have to do the majority of the work this time…”
“I don’t mind,” you said. “I care about you and your friends. You can’t help that you need to study,” you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. “You’re almost done, y’know?”
“I know,” he said, dragging out the word. His arms wrapped around your waist, drawing you in closer. “But you already do a lot for me. Other people would be annoyed—”
“And other people aren’t me, so I don’t care. You’re studying hard to get farther,” you said. “I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t support you.” 
He smiled again, a charming look in his eyes as he gazed at you. Seungcheol was always so soft when he was near you, to the point where the tender look on his face was enough to make you cry on your wedding day. In turn, it made him cry, so you considered the two of you even. “I love you,” he said, soft as a promise. “Let me know if you change your mind and want Jun to come help. He said he didn’t mind—”
“It feels wrong to say yes,” you admitted. “I mean… We’re hosting. All the others need to do is show up.”
“Jun knows how many people we’re cooking for,” Seungcheol said. “There’s nothing wrong with needing help. Especially when I can’t help you.” 
With a sigh, you nodded. “I’ll think about it. Are you going to the store now?”
“Are you coming with me?”
Normally, you would… But duty called. You had things to keep working on. “Grab me something sweet?”
“I’ll be coming back—”
You swatted at his arm, but fell only deeper in love with the warm way he laughed at his own dumb joke. “Something chocolate, please,” you said. “We can share it if you want.” 
He stole one final kiss from you before he stepped away. “Whatever you want,” he promised. 
You purposefully waited until he was about to leave to call out to him. “I love you, too.” 
And, oh, that warm smile on his face made all of this work worth it. You would kiss that smile when the two of you went to bed tonight, exhausted from the long day and dinner that you had to put away any remains of when it was all said and done. And you would kiss that smile again tomorrow morning, just to remind him that you knew he could ace it.
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taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @staranghae @synthetickitsune @weird-bookworm
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yuuuume · 4 months
Text
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househusband au headcanons
Shinji ver.
| 1 | 2 | ?
rating: safe for work
reader prons: they/them
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Listen, if Shinji could have it his way, he’d still be playing the sax every night at the lounge he used to work at. Sure the pay was crap, and he wasn’t all that great of a musician, but he genuinely enjoyed his night job (because the man clearly needed a day job to get by), but things change, people fall in love, people have kids for Christ’s sake whether it’s planned or not. That’s just life for you, so welcome to Shinji Hirako’s, or should we say the new neighborhood stay-at-home dad. This happened because 1, he got married! Yeah, someone went up to that mysteriously cheap and swanky lounge one night, took a seat, had a drink or two, and said, ‘Damn, I want to marry that’. Who in their right mind would wanna do that? Aside from me and the Shinji fuckers. Not many, but hey, love is blind! So… yeah. This is his life now. Stinky diapers, a fussy firstborn, and a life full of mayhem to accommodate. Shinji absolutely doesn’t wish he was at work! Someone save him.
What he doesn’t realize is that he will come to love this more than any job in the world and that being there with his kid every step of the way is a privilege he was glad to experience for both himself and his spouse since they work very hard to keep the family fed, clothed, and housed despite working dreadful hours. Because of this, Shinji really tries to give it his all with this househusband gig, to not stress them out on their two measly days off of work on the weekends. The Hirako family is what I call the living example of surviving on each paycheck but despite that stress, they never take it out on their child nor deny them anything they may want or need. Shinji and his spouse try hard to be great parents and are successful, they just don’t know it yet. Just like any dad, though, they start at the very beginning, which is the entrance of their child into the world! Shinji was given a sweet baby girl and managed to take care of her fairly well when his spouse was on paid family leave as provided by their work. They could have taken extra time but the pay was too dangerous to live on for long without overtime hours and the family needed more to accommodate their newer, safer housing so off to work it was, and there began Shinji’s adventures with his newborn daughter.
To be honest, the new dad didn’t expect to do much since he hadn’t done so before but that reality came to a screeching halt when Shinji realized that 1. He was behind on laundry, and 2. His newborn had explosive- and I mean explosive- diarrhea. The kind that gets from the bum to the nape of her neck kind of explosive and she’s screaming her head off from the discomfort of her excrements. All is not well in the Hirako household the first week without parent 2 around to help and he’s quick to break down which is sad, not going to lie. Shinji is so overwhelmed by the lonely cries of his daughter, housework, managing expenses, and paying bills, that he kind of just breaks down that week. He feels like a terrible father, and an even worse husband once he realizes that he can’t even do what his mother and her mother had done and it was as if his daughter could understand his pain, that she finally let up on the crying upon behind held in his arms after cleaning her up. Shinji quite literally let out tears of relief at her silence and realized that all she wanted was to be held and loved by him. Pure Dad moments!
He took a lot of tips from various forums and mommy blogs, investing in regular skin-to-skin contact (despite the awkward clawing at his nips) as well as simply keeping his baby in a carrier wrap and her fussiness improves greatly! So much that Shinji can spend more time doing things he needs to, but will lie her down in the very expensive but effective baby swing as it mimics his movements well enough to keep her asleep for at least an hour while he completes more physically demanding tasks such as scrubbing the stove, mopping, etc. Now what you’re probably thinking is, Mia where’s the daily route? Or maybe, What about Dad friend!Kensei!? Well don’t worry, I’ll get to it, starting with Kensei. He and his spouse visited the Hirako’s with food in hand and young twins clad in matching outfits once the family of 3 had moved into the neighborhood as a welcome gesture. Least to say, the Hirako’s weren’t used to that as the most they’ve gotten before is a half-drunk man with pissed pants sleeping at their door. Ya gotta love the seedier parts of cities, amirite?
Those who came to visit after Shinji’s spouse returned to work were visibly surprised by his presence. He knew it wasn’t that common for men to practice this way of life but damn, he didn’t think it was that surprising when he informed a mother that his spouse was at work upon their rather concerned inquiry. The gifts of food for the new family eventually stopped as his daughter reached 1 month old, leaving him alone as not many wanted to schedule playdates or even a general hangout simply because he was a father. Kensei was the only person to extend an invite to his place as he swore the neighborhood mothers were like vultures and that he didn’t want Shinji’s daughter to be exposed to too many pathogens from the outside world all at once. Simply the teachings of a professional househusband that Shinji gladly accepted and modified to fit his parenting style much better.
Alright, so Shinji’s got one Dad™ Friend, the oh-so-trusty Kensei Muguruma at his side, but it isn’t often since the latter works at home. So what is a usual day at the Hirako Household? It starts a bit like this: A groggy Shinji rolling off the bed like he hadn’t slept all night… which is partially true. The baby has her days and nights crossed for a long while so Papa Hirako is up keeping her company for his spouse to get enough sleep for work. His first duty of the day is to get breakfast started and make sure his spouse's work clothes are set for the day. They’re very insistent that they can iron the clothes by themselves but Shinji does it anyway then moves on to perfecting a breakfast they’ve been eating almost every morning since the birth of the baby. Shinji tends to worry his spouse will get sick of it but they always comment on how much better he’s been getting, and how it tastes different every day (in a good way, of course). Kensei’s cooking tips not only benefitted Shinji, but his spouse too as the married couple would often cook meals together on the weekends to bond with each other.
Although the morning is the most tense time of the day, Shinji usually gets through unscathed with the baby slung to his chest, one hand feeding her a warmed bottle and the other feeding himself. He’d be lying if he said food never landed on the kid's head. Both he and his spouse find it funny, as it was the little things in life that made a difference in their day. With their little one back to sleep in the sling secured across Shinji’s chest, he kisses his partner farewell, waving them off before going back into the house to catch some extra sleep. He’s usually more energized after the nap and gets started on whatever needs to be done which is breakfast dishes, laundry, and any other daily cleaning. His little girl is just bordering 2 months at this time, so Shinji makes a good effort to stimulate her, jingling noisy toys, and talking about any and everything while being sure to listen for any cues that she’s had enough. She’s quite the talker just like her father, entertaining him as she attempts to form words that sound like pure gibberish. Shinji records countless videos daily just to capture her development, sending a few to his spouse to watch at work during their break since he isn’t much for showcasing his kid over social media.
At this age, Shinji’s special gal is developing well and for the most part, still on track with meeting her milestones. Everything is seemingly happy-go-lucky until he receives a call from the pediatrics office that she will need to be vaccinated. The appointment for said vaccination was for today, and since then Shinji believed he would face this with his spouse but sadly that wouldn’t be the case. The first-time father was more nervous than his baby but Kensei reassured him that everything would be fine, and to be a little more gentle as the injection site would be a little on the sensitive side. Shinji at least tried his best to stay calm but both he and his baby were left crying. Shinji only cried a bit when the doctor left the room, of course, the immense feeling of guilt was just too much for him. Regardless of their conjoined Hirako Meltdown, Shinji made everything better by getting her all swaddled up and offering a bottle of milk during the ride back home.
Should he need to go shopping, Shinji will typically do so with Kensei because they’re designated Dad Friends, and therefore must move together. Shinji gets into couponing to save a few bucks and makes an effort to clip any and everything he might find useful. He even gives Kensei coupons for the really expensive organic stuff he always buys and makes sure to give it to him on a near-weekly basis. When shopping, the father usually has the luxury of browsing through most aisles, shuffling among his many organized coupons to grab the right box of crackers. If Kensei tags along, he finds it a little more difficult as the mothers in the neighborhood tend to hover over his children when in reality they’re trying to score him. Some like to fawn over his little girl due to her chubby cheeks but nothing more ever comes after. He doesn’t mind shopping with Kensei, it simply feels as though someone is always breathing down his back and that's a very weird situation to be in, much less with his baby. The little one is almost always intrigued by the older babies she can see, giving a gummy smile. Kensei 100% thinks it's cute but won’t admit it. He cannot give those moms another thing to obsess over.
Once he gets home, Shinji tries to at least get the refrigerator items put away before settling on one of Kensei’s so-called “not complex” dinner recipes. He wouldn’t dare try grilled fish again as he once neglected to check on the food, leaving the dinner harder than concrete. They had to resort to food delivery although it hurt the couple's pocket but they made do. Shinji attempts the basic hamburger steak and surprisingly does well as this time he does not leave the kitchen for a single second, watching the meat sear in the pan and checking each steak with a meat thermometer for extra security. His spouse is usually not home until all of the last-minute cleaning for the day has been done so Shinji does well to keep the dinner he cooked nice and warm until their expected arrival. His spouse is reasonably tired by then but at least they get to eat with their husband, the baby either entertained or asleep not far. They are so grateful for Shinji and all that he does as they realize taking care of an infant solo is notoriously difficult. They thank him for the dinner, offering to co-wash the dishes before getting ready to wind down for the night. That is if their little one lets Shinji do so for long.
As Shinji’s little one gets older with time he tries to get into various hobbies that clearly don’t lean into his favor. Those include but are not limited to finger painting, as his little she-devil had a phase of painting on the floors and walls (thank goodness he got the washable kind), photography (she kept throwing the disposable camera at things she 100% should not have been throwing it at), singing (she grew a knack for screaming at the top of her lungs), and gardening. Shinji could never forget his toddler dousing the newborn plants with soap to get them clean. They ended up kicking the bucket that very week and never recovered. Needless to say, this papa has been through some shit the older his daughter has gotten. All those memories ended up in a scrapbook though, videos grew into compilations separated by year, and soon he’d be marking a 5th compilation.
She’d grown well into her striking blonde hair although it had the shape of her other parents, and her teeth were as showy as his but Shinji convinced her they were cool so she wouldn’t have to deal with self-esteem issues, and oh boy, did she have a lot to say. Shinji didn’t even have to teach her to talk either, she just up and started, then never stopped. Even though she may have her quirks, the mini Hirako acts similar to her father. She’s been aiming to nail every single one of his expressions and does so very well to the point no one questions whether or not he is her father. Despite that, she gets on well with Kensei’s twins, referring to them as her cousins and to Kensei as her uncle. Shinji’s daughter is happy that her cousins stayed back from kindergarten so she wouldn’t be lonely, and in turn, they helped their Uncle Shinji get his girl into a few hobbies before she entered school.
It was certain that Shinji did not want to let his little girl go to school, but his spouse enforced it, saying it could give him a break and that she’d have to go the following year anyway. It was tough on him as it felt like it was yesterday when she was just a swaddled newborn on the date of her arrival, so beautiful and sweet, craving nothing but the love and attention of her parents. She was still an angel that day, kissing her father on his cheek as she ran off to the school with the other kids. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry and did so to the best of his abilities as he got home. Shinji couldn’t help but slump onto the couch, staring at the framed picture of their very first family portrait. The one on his phone from this morning would soon make its way there too, having been taken outside their home, a simple photo of the family of 3 to commemorate her first day of school. Shinji was bored with nothing to do afterward, not even thinking about the possibility of having another child. It was too expensive, not to mention they wouldn’t have the space should it be a boy this time around. He’s left to sulk until noisy moving vehicles drive on by for a few days and he ends up outside checking out the new dad who gives both him and Kensei a bad vibe.
Mr. Sousuke Aizen and his little one.
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do not steal or repost my works anywhere
© yuuuume
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cardboardheartss · 4 months
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Nara Smith D1 Chart Analysis + Astrocatoraphy
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Firstly Nara is a Sharavana Nakshatra/Moon native. Which actually explains why she is soo beautiful! Mainly her eyes, her eyes are the 1st thing you could possibly notice about Nara along with her cute bunny smile too!
Nara has her Dhanishtha Uranus, Shravana Neptune, Shravana Moon and obviously a Shravana Ascendant. Nara has a capricorn (Vedic) stellium which actually makes sense because her bone strucutre is really prominent and her body type is lean. Saturn aslo rules the skin too and Nara has openly spoken about her skin condition eczema (twinnie lol).
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Naras Uranus is sextile her Jyeshtha Chiron (11H), this could mean Nara has had unfortunate problems with friendships and this had probably made her transform to better/worse, and worse in a sense of her building her guard up and being more careful on picking friends. This 11H placement could possibly also represent the immense hate she receives on social media but she is able to control herself and not let her emotions get to her.
Nara has a 2H lilith in Shatabhisha at 10 degrees, and that is a Capricorn degree! Nara loves her money to be quite honest, and remeber Capricorn is ruled by saturn, saturn is the time/age lord. Nara married Lucky Blue Smith, who is 3 years older than her. Her Purva Phalguni Venus is in her 8H, which represents peoples finances and it is common for SOME but NOT ALL 8H venus to marry into money.
Nara’s Venus is also sextile her Swati MC (10H), this makes because when she uploads her video she always dresses up to the T! Her outfits look like they cost a lot of money, and also the cutlery and plating she uses seem to have quite expensive pricing.
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Nara’s Chitra Mercury in the 10H at 3 degrees (cancer degree) made me giggle lol! Nara is also known for speaking in a really soft and soothing voice! The 10H represents fame and what things one could be known for based off the planets and Nara has her Mercury, the sign of communication. Andd i am certain we all have seen the “Nara Smith Style” trend going on, and people literally mimic her voice and her actions too!
Now for her 6H placements! Overall, the 6H represents diets, routines, work andd hygiene. Nara has her Ardra Jupiter and Rahu in this cusp! SHE WAS BORN TO DO THIS!! Firstly one thing we obviously have to point out is… have you not noticed how clean and well edited Nara’s videos are?
+another thing i would like to point out is how Gemini rules over Mercury, and her Mercury is in her 10H, andd people on social media mimic the same voice tone and actions she does in her videos.
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She is percise, and i blame that on her Hasta (Virgo) Sun lol! Nara uploads videos EVERYDAY and she is cooking, which can mean it is in fact her daily routine at times though… i mean a fan posted a picture of her standing in line at Shake Shack lol! Her Jupiter, planet of luck, she will obviously gain a lot from this and she really is good at what she does… it almost seems natural if you ask me!
Nara has her Hasta Sun in the 9H. One thing i would have to point out is her possible or proven devotion to her religions. Her Sun is squaring her Jupiter, and we all had seen the discourse about her religion and that had unfortunately led her to get a hate train, and it some how made her lose support as well.
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Damn! She has another Capricorn degree in her Sun, with the Saturn degree there, it could represent that people who mess with her do in fact get their karma, and people did. Majority of users on social media are in full support of Nara now!
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Nara’s Purva Ashadha Mars at 16 degrees (Cancer degree) is in her 12H, with that Water + Fire sign combination in MARS… i would avoid angering Nara because she could possibly get really scary. Her Maternal ancestors are there for 1000% and trust they will also go ham on you too if you mess with their baby lol. Now for Mula Ketu in this 12H as well, this could Nara really extroverted/introverted around those closest to her.
Nara also has her Ketu trine Venus, and this could mean that she has a lot of luck in terms of gaining an intrest in occult practices/astrology OR she could already have an intrest in it and is not overly sharing it with the public.
Overall, Nara is one extremely down-to-earth women. She knows how to create a business and is also a great mom, and she was born to be one too! thanks to her lucky Rohini POF and Vertex!
Astrocatography
For Naras Astrocatoraphy lines, she has the Chiron line passing right through her home country Germany! In her Tropical natal chart, Nara has a Sagittarius 11H Chiron, which once again points out how Nara could have grown up being excluded for being half-black or coming from an interracial relationship andd as well as being an African too!
Her Saturn line, which in her Natal chart is in the 5H in Gemini could also mean this delayed her opportunity of finding friends or this could also show that she had trouble learning the language quickly but she eventually got the hang of it!
Nara has her Moon line passing through South Africa, in her Natal Chart its 1H Aquarius Moon at 9 degrees (Sagittarius) . This could mean she feels quite detacthed or not South African enough because she had to emigrate when she was younger! but i hope she knows we support her fully over her this side lol! <3
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Welp! Thats it for Nara Smith for nowww!
Thank you for reading!
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SFW Alphabet : Dallas Winston
mostly SFW, mention of sex in cuddles and hickeys in jealousy
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A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Not very affectionate at all. Sees it as weak and stupid. Any physical affection is a display of ownership, basically only done to remind people that you're his and no one else can touch you. Usually just a hand in your pocket or around your waist.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
It would most likely start because he's hitting on you and you shoot back with something clever or surprisingly genuine. If he's saying nasty shit to you and you don't get too upset, but you actually take it and prove that you can actually twist it into a worthwhile conversation, he'll probably talk to you more and the more yall talk the more he'd actually start to enjoy you. It's all work on your side, prove to him why he should see you as a person and not just entertainment. If you would even care to get past the original phase of blatant disrespect.
Once you're close, friendship is pretty wild. Lots of ups-and-downs. Doing stupid shit together like trespassing (and getting caught), drinking, a lot of banter and friendly flirting, etc. He's still going to say you guys just know each other, that yall are hardly even friends, but you know damn well that it's your house he goes to when he doesn't want to tell the gang that he didn't get injured from the barfight that he got in but he very much did break his hand drunkenly punching the wall after.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Doesn't like cuddles at all, might pull you onto his lap if he's trying to show you off but that's it. The only time he'd properly cuddle is post-sex. Then, he'll let you lay on his chest as he plays with your hair a bit before he drifts off.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Cannot clean for the life of him. Cannot cook. Only eats restaurant food or, like, canned food that he doesn't even bother to heat up and white bread when he has to fend for himself. Won't starve, but "making dinner" means a plain lunch meat sandwich.
Sees settling down as a luxury that he isn't made for. Doesn't even entertain the thought, sees himself as someone that'll never stay in one place long enough to settle down. But wants to, in a weird way. Again, it's a luxury.
No matter how "settled" he gets, his survival instincts are always going to override it and he'll always be ready to leave "just in case," but he does crave having a home. He does prefer to stay in one place, he prefers to stay with the gang, he'd prefer to have a place to stay that's his own, when he's in a relationship he'd prefer to stay together. It would be nice. He just knows that things don't work out like that for him (made worse by his self-sabotaging tendencies), it's a luxury that he's never had and when he does get even a taste of it it's so uncomfortable and scary and he doesn't know what to do with it.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
The breakups themselves are screaming matches, things get thrown, they're intense. A ton of anger from both sides, it's a big deal in the moment. After, Dally almost instantly ghosts his now-ex and acts like they didn't mean anything to him to begin with. Now that he's in a more permanent place he wouldn't, but he has been known to just leave town after a breakup because he just doesn't want to see "some bitch that screwed him over" ever again.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Would never want to get married, never would, not his thing. I don't think he'd actively try to be committed in any way, he needs to feel like he could easily go back to being on his own and doesn't like things getting in the way of that. No matter how good/stable life gets for him, Dally needs to know that if he HAS to leave it all behind again he could.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
In the negatives, not at all.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Hates hugs, like everything else even slightly lovey.
When you really need a hug, they're quick side-hugs. Really awkward, you probably have to ask for it and it's, like, a chore that he's only doing because he cares about you. You're distressed, you said a hug would help, so let's get this over with.
Other times, if you try to go in for a hug as a greeting or something, he'll either use it as an excuse to grope you and lowkey hoping that it makes you pull away real fast or he'll just stand there waiting for you to stop. If it lasts any longer than a few seconds, Dally's pushing you away and asking what the hell all that was even about.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Will never say it. Absolutely never, no matter how much he does start to love you, will he say it out loud. Love is such a weakness to him, something that he cannot afford to have, something that will destroy him. Loving someone would be so detrimental to the image that he has become to survive, and survival is all he knows. Love, and admitting to love, would be a death sentence for him.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Dallas gets very jealous. He makes it very clear that you're his through marking you in any way possible. When he's around, his hand is in your pocket. When he's not, you're wearing his stuff. His ring, of course. If he feels overly paranoid/jealous then you're getting his jacket for a bit and you aren't taking it off no matter how warm you get. If some guy was getting too friendly with you at the last party, you'll be covered in hickeys at the next one.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Rough, quick, and territorial. PDA is not really Dally's thing, affection even less so. A kiss is usually to mark you in front of others. Someone's staring at you for too long? Dal practically smashes his face into yours, or maybe your neck, before keeping a hand in your back pocket or around your waist for the rest of the night.
Privately, kisses are equally as rough, usually progressing into makeout sessions and more.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Hates kids, doesn't even try to be good with children. Actively bullies children, if any kid is even SLIGHTLY above "child just existing" level of annoying Dallas is going to beat them out of existence. Even when he's doing his very, utmost best to be good with kids (which wouldn't happen, but in the unrealistic scenario where he WOULD try) he's still the type of person to tell them to put their hand on a hot stove or something.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Dally wakes up late as hell unless someone wakes him up. Nothing is important enough to set an alarm for, if someone needs him they can wake his ass up. He'll complain about it so much, too. He prefers morning showers to night showers, so he'll take one "as needed" (in his very bias and fairly nasty opinion, every few days unless he does something that gets him particularly gross), throw on whatever clothes are closest, and follow you around as you get ready while he rants about random bullshit and makes endless dirty comments.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Probably quick. Most late evenings are spent at a drive-in or one of Buck's parties, or hanging out with the gang. Y'all don't get back until pretty late. Sometimes things get spicy from there, but this is the sfw alphabet so let's pretend you don't on this night. It's usually just a throw on pajamas/strip down to underwear, crawl into bed, and pass out for the night kind of thing.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Very slowly, very gradually, and almost never intentionally. Most things come out in "this reminds me of one time when..." type of stories. He'll mention something once and never again. If you want to know anything about this man you need to just pay attention to every passing comment and remember.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Very easy to anger and even easier to annoy. Will turn nothing into a big thing. Complains about every stupid little thing. Things go from "just joking" to a fight at random, and it's not at all consistent.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Dal remembers more than he'll admit. Won't reference things you said, but won't forget either. Thinks it's cheesy and would make him look like he cares too much if he actually mentioned remembering anything you say.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
Getting to just watch you. Watching you do your hobbies, watching you at a party. Whenever you aren't looking. Seeing you and knowing that you're his and that, at least for the time being, you are stable and consistent and real and there. No particular time is his favorite, just watching you when you are passionate about something.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Very protective. Nobody is going to touch you. He will kick anyone's ass for even glancing at you, you are his and everyone is going to know.
Obviously, he'd DESPISE if you tried to protect him in any way because he can take care of himself. It's moreso protecting him emotionally/mentally, and you have to be subtle about it because if he gets so much as the slightest vibe that you're actively trying to take care of him it's a fight. But protecting him from himself, subtly talking him down from a fight, distracting him from doing something impulsively self-destructive, tricking him into caring about things? Necessary. He doesn't even consciously know you're doing it, but he (and honestly everyone else) does appreciate what you do, even if not actively.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Around average, a bit below. Anniversaries are probably completely forgotten/ignored unless you remind him. Dates are usually just going to parties or the drive-in, but they're frequent and he will be sure that he brings you along whenever he goes. Gifts are hit or miss. He'll steal you a blade so you can protect yourself when he's not around, or think to grab you a drink if he's heading that way anyway, or will always say yes when you ask to bum a cig off of him, but you aren't getting anything special. Everyday tasks are minimal. Again, he'll get you a drink if he's up anyway or will probably do random little things VERY sporadically. Like, that thing that's been broken for months that you've been asking Dal to fix? Took a half a year and for you to literally forget about it/give up asking, but the second you aren't nagging about it he will get around to it. (Partially because I headcanon him to have MAJOR pathological demand avoidance along with his general hatred for authority, so he's mainly not getting shit done BECAUSE you're asking)
He does try a bit. Harder than he ever would for anyone else, at least. He's just not very good at caring about people so the results are... lacking. He's doing what he would probably do without you, but now you're there too.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Just some?? Uh, let's see... Defensive as hell over the stupidest things, literally will not take criticism or admit to being wrong, physical altercations usually ensue over it. Believes he doesn't have any feelings whatsoever, anything proves him wrong and he's instantly angry about it and distancing himself as far as he can from whatever it is, he will ghost you in an instant if he starts catching feels. Insecure as all hell but, again, so violently defensive about everything that he'll never admit it or work on it. Irresponsible and impulsive. I could go on forever.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Very, but in the sense of looking tough rather than attractive. He looks like absolutely shit and doesn't care in the slightest, ugly as hell and if I catch anyone making Dallas Winston conventionally hot we are throwing hands. But you will not see this man looking weak or gentle or soft if he has anything to do with it.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Honestly, probably!! Not something you'd EVER catch him saying, I don't think that Dally would ever be a soft boyfriend. But I also think that if he's actually got feelings for you then he'd *try* to do better as a person in general and in a long-term relationship he'd probably gradually change enough that he'd be lost without you. You'd make him more human. Not a good human, mind you, but definitely more human.
You're a much needed safespace and moral guide for him in a lot of cases. He'll go on about how he's lived without you before and can do it again no problem, but it would honestly take a lot from him if he had to.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
OH, a TON. But, sticking to one... He can play piano pretty damn well. Tells absolutely no one, you can't torture this information out of this man, but growing up his mother was AMAZING at piano and between her pretty hard-core drug addiction and how abusive his father was some of Dally's only positive memories from childhood are learning to play piano from her. If it's available, he'll still practice, but it is NOT easy to get access to a piano without anyone knowing so he's more than a bit rusty.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Anything that he considers to be "weak," anything soft. Mostly due to personal insecurity. Man's the epitome of toxic masculinity, anything that doesn't fit that honestly kind of intimidates him (though he wouldn't admit that, he'd just say it's stupid or something).
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Sleeps like a cat. Often, but usually super lightly. If he does get into a good, deep sleep then he could be mistaken for dead. Opens his eyes at the slightest sound, but drifts back off well. Switches between sleeping on his stomach and his back, never a side sleeper.
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