#i mean he went full goblin mode

[illiana-mystery]

He's so menacing...and so, so hot.

[insertyourselfhere]

Anomaly

Description: You’re doing your usual thing running around saving people, being the friendly neighbourhood Spider that people expect you to be. When you stumble across a goblin that is definitely not from your world. Characters: Gwen Stacy, Y/N , Your Aunt (A/N)

It was another day for you as you swung around, everybody down below yelling out waving at you as you slipped pass them. You stopped suddenly at a water tower and crouched down ready to eat the lunch you had pre packed yourself and stuck to the water tower once you returned from chasing down some bad guys who decided to rob a bank in broad daylight. You had to give it to them for attempting to do that knowing full well you would show up and take them down as you always did.

You sat down on the edge of the water tower legs daggling, with your mask half up as you took a big bite of your sandwich. You watched the kids in the street below playing soccer in the middle of the road baron and empty, the train went by your head as you took in the familiar sounds smiling to yourself. What wasn’t familiar to you though was a loud beeping going off next to you. Springing into action you leapt from the water tower with your back pack and sandwich still in hand taking another bite. A green man wearing a suit on a hovering machine was in front of you cackling as he prepared to throw another bomb.

Taking one more bite of your sandwich you pulled your mask down, threw your bag to the closest wall again sticking it as you dodged another one of those bombs. Your Spidey sense ringing as it missed you but started to fall below to the children who had now stopped playing their game and were looking up towards you and this masked man in front of you.

Your web flew down catching the bomb, using your momentum you threw it back towards the goblin who hit it up towards the sky another eruption going off.

“Look I don’t know who you are and I’ve got to say I wasn’t expecting to see this today, but I have to get back to my studies and I really don’t have time for this today” You said as stood tall on the water tower, or what was left of it.

“Where am I?!” He screamed at you, you were taken back by what he said.

“What do you mean? This is New York?” You said shooting him confused looks under your own mask.

“This looks nothing like New York, is this a joke?” He said, with a step on his glider he took off towards you, spikes coming out of his glider at the front, you leaped up once again avoiding his glider, you shot a web between his legs sticking as he dragged you behind.

“That was a much better idea in my head” You said, he flew over a flock of pigeons and you already knew what was coming.

“Oh no” Sure enough the pigeons all stuck themselves to you, one landing promptly on top of your head leaving a nasty surprise for you later which you watched drip down your spider eyes.

“Ugh gross” You said throwing the rest of it off. You shot another web and pulled yourself closer to the man hitting his back and knocking him off his glider. Before he managed to hit the ground you shot another web saving him in the process and then landing next to him.

“Stop please don’t hurt me” He said cowering in the corner, his demeanour changed, no longer did he have that evil aura about him. You crouched down next to him gently placing your hand on his shoulder.

“Woah hey sorry about that, look you were trying to kill me so my Spidey fight or flight mode switched. Let me help you what’s your name?”

“Norman Osborne” He said looking at you with fair stricken in his eyes.

“Norman Osborne, the billionaire scientist?” You said, he nodded his head agreeing. You let go of the mans shoulder and stood up facing out of the alley you guys had landed in.

“Norman’s been dead now for 5 years, there’s no way this mans…” before you could finish your sentence you felt a sharp pain between your ribs and strong arm wrapped around your neck.

“You’re just as weak as the other Spider-Man I’ve fought” Other Spider-Man? This man had experience, so he must be from another dimension your eyes go wide. You grabbed his hand wrapped around your neck and threw him over your shoulder down the alley, he went to grab his glider a few feet away, you tried stopping him and shot your web but your vision became hazy. You looked back down at your side and saw a knife sitting out of it.

“that’s not supposed to be there” You said, you knelt down to the ground feeling weaker every second, before you passed out though you saw a figure land in front of you, and all you could think of was teal ballet shoes.

You began to gain consciousness once again. You were no longer in the alley but in a strange room you had never seen before, you sat up slowly taking in your surroundings. You were bare from the neck down noticing your mask was still on but the rest of your clothes had been taken off. As you started recollecting your memories you remembered the guy in the alley and went to stand up only to take a fall.

“woah there soldier stand down” Came a soft sweet voice, you looked up and saw the same ballet shows you saw before you passed out completely.

“It was you” You said gesturing to her shoes, she lift her legs gently staring at her shoes with a small smile on her face.

“I don’t know what that means but yes here I am” You sat up on the ground wincing and holding your side, you looked up at your saviour only to see a spider-woman? Her white suit looked amazing you had 50 million questions coming through. Before you could ask any of them your stomach grumbled and you remembered you only had a quarter of a sandwich before that guy came over at attacked you.

She giggled a little and you knew you wanted to hear that sound again. She handed you your bag which had the other sandwiches and you began to scarf them down.

“Nsh to bef rufe buf whf are yof” She looked at you and you could imagine a confused look under the mask, you swallowed down your food, took a massive chug of water and looked back at her.

“Sorry, what I mean to say was do I get a name for the person who saved me?” You asked standing up gently, winching again at the throb that was coming from your side.

“Ahhhhh my name is Ghost Spider, but I guess you can call me Gwen” She took off her hood and you were not expecting her to look anything like that under her hood.

“Gwen, hey, I’m y/n” You took off your mask and watched her face look shocked, she tried to compose herself quickly but it was too late you had noticed.

“Okay well since your much better now, I have to go and catch this guy” She put her mask back on and flew out the window thwhipping away. You ran towards the window about to run after her but looking back down at your ribs you noticed your super healing hadn’t kicked in just yet.

You made your way back home on foot, as it hurt to use any of your limbs. You slid up to your apartment and were greeted with your Aunt.

“Where have you been!?” She yelled as you walked in the door. You gave her a sorry look and walked over to her.

“Sorry A/N I got held up doing some Spider stuff” You said throwing your back pack on the couch and sitting down, another twang of pain going through your body, you lift up your shirt and she gasped.

“Quick to my lab” You ran towards her lab she had stashed in your apartment, one thing you loved about your Aunt apart from the fact that she knew and was so supportive of the Spider-Man stuff was that she was an expert in the health department, which she tried teaching you so you could pick up her mantle. As soon as you entered the lab she pushed you onto the bed and go to work.

“This isn’t good Y/N” She said as she looked at the wound, your body not healing was the biggest red flag for her.

“Okay I’m going to get some of the Spidey serum we have at the moment, hopefully that will multiply your Spidey cells and kick them into over drive to work and start healing you” You nodded as she ran over to her makeshift fridge and pulled out a serum that was a mixture of blue and red. She walked over to you, with the serum in a needle ready to inject.

“This is highly experimental I don’t exactly know what’s going to happen” You nodded at her.

“I have full faith in you A/N” You said grabbing her hand, you laid flat on the bed, she grabbed the needle and plunged it into your arm. As soon as she injected it you began screaming.

“I am so sorry Y/N it should be over soon” As soon as the vial was done she pulled out the needle and took a couple of steps back. The wound on your side healed almost instantly but you were still crying out in pain. Your senses were overloaded, your body convulsing. Until all of a sudden it came to a complete stop and you just laid there motionless.

Your Aunt ran up to your bedside and saw that you were conscious and attentive but was just laying on the bed breathing heavily.

“Gwen’s in trouble” You said as you quickly got off the bed, grabbed another signature Spidey suit and headed out the closest window you could find. As you shot your web out you thanked your Aunt.

“I am so sorry for leaving so quickly but a friend of mine is in trouble…” She kissed your forehead and you swung away.

As you felt the cold air brush against your skin you noticed all your senses were kicked into hyperdrive, you knew exactly where Gwen was and what was happening, long story short she was losing to the Goblin. As you began swing you felt your arms were a bit bigger, you leaped from a tall building and felt your strength much stronger than what it was before. Carrying you a couple more blocks than usual.

“Whatever that stuff was that A/N gave me I feel much stronger, I don’t know what the side effects are but I don’t care I need to save Gwen”

You came up to the docks and heard bombs going off left right and centre, you swung down to the roof trying to keep the element of surprise and saw Gwen shoved against a wall, her mask was half burned off, her body was sliced, battered and bruised. She looked so tired and out of breath. Without even thinking you swung down and kicked goblin off his glider which caused him to drop Gwen. As she dropped you shot out your web catching her hang and springing her back up to you catching her in your arms.

“Sorry I’m late” You said getting her to safety.

“What are you doing here? How did you find me?” She said looking at you.

“I am here to help since you helped me and I could hear where all the fighting was coming from” You said placing her down on the ground, you heard Goblin’s glider start up again and decided to take care of him.

She grabbed your hand before you could take off and pulled you back towards her.

“Be careful please, I can’t lose you again” She said sadness evident in her voice, you looked confused under your mask but gave her a thumbs up as you swung back down.

“Hey Goblin, lets finish off what we started” You yelled out trying to get his attention. His evil maniacal laugh came from the shadows.

“Poor little Spider caught in a web I set” His glider came out from the corner of your eye towards you with no Goblin, you jumped dodging it and shooting a web into one of the shadows. The laugh game again.

“You are all so weak, too busy caring about people and your feelings” You hear him spit out those words with venom etched in his voice.

“Everyone has a weakness Goblin, yours is that ego you have thinking your stronger than everyone because you care about no one” You said shooting your web towards another shadow, once again coming up empty handed.

He laughed once again and you closed your eyes, taking in your surroundings using only our Spidey-Sense to guide you through this fight, the glider started up again and you heard him jump on top of it. Before he could prepare his next attack you had shot your web at him on his glider, pulled yourself towards him and hit him hard. He fell off his glider and slid backwards a few feet. You webbed him up enough that he wouldn’t be able to break out of it, grabbed his glider and split it in half.

“You won’t be hurting anyone else any time soon” You said to him, you saw an orange bracelet out of the corner of your eye, you shot your web towards it and pulled it closer to yourself.

“Gwen are you okay!? Can you hear me?” You ignored the voice but made your way to Gwen who was still in the same position you left her. You sat down next to her an she let out the biggest sigh of relief when she saw you.

“This is yours by the way, I’m not too sure what it is or who it is but they really want to talk to you” You said handing her the bracelet, as you did a face appeared and they looked relief.

“Jess sorry about that he was a bit more than I could handle and he took my watch”

“That’s okay I’m just happy to see that you’re okay”

They spoke for a bit longer but you tuned them out finally taking in the day you had. You could guess from the watch who she was talking to, there’s more of you out there you thought. You smiled and stood up, Gwen watched you intently and you picked her up again.

She pushed shoved your chin causing you to drop her, you looked at her like she grew a second head. Her face was red as she stood up herself.

“I don’t need you to carry me” She said placing her hood over her face, you rolled your eyes.

“I just saved you?” She poked her tongue out at you and started to thwip away.

You followed suite catching up to her.

“Come over to my apartment” You said swinging next to her. She shot you with a web. Causing you to lose your balance and fall. You managed to get a hold of what you were doing and caught back up to her.

“Not like that! My Aunt is big on health stuff she might be able to help with your wounds and that!” You said giving her a look.

“Fine but only because his glider had some weird stuff in it and I’m not healing as quickly as I would normally”

You nodded and took the lead towards your apartment, once you arrived your Aunt was in the kitchen preparing dinner. You slid through the window into the lounge room, Gwen looked at you like you grew a second head yourself and you walked right up to your Aunt and gave her a hug.

“I’m back from saving my friend” You said grabbing some bread from the counter, your Aunt slapped your hand and you skulked away. Gwen made her way into the apartment giving you a confused look.

“She knows about me, its cool, she’s helped me out so many times” You said grabbing the same bread but with your web.

“Hey Honey! You look a bit beat up lets see what we can do for you” Your aunt said grabbing Gwen’s hand and heading towards the Lab.

“Although your wound isn’t as severe as Y/N’s this should help out slightly with the toxins in your body” She gave Gwen a drink, it looked a lot less intense from the one you had. Gwen drank the contents of the vial and immediately her wounds began to heal.

“Thanks’ A/N” She said with the biggest smile on her face, her face was immediately replaced by sorrow. Your Aunt looked at her.

“I’m assuming you already knew me before our little encounter today” Gwen nodded her head.

“In my world where I’m from we were very close” Gwen said looking at your Aunt. At this point you had headed towards the Lab to see what was taking them so long and didn’t expect these turn of events.

“I lost both of you to a freak accident, it was Prom, we were going, you were our chaperone, me and Y/N were going together” She blushed as she mentioned this, you were still hanging back wanting to leave so you didn’t over step your boundaries but you needed to hear this story. You folded your arms leaning against the wall with your eyes closed.

“One of my other friends Peter had been bullied his whole life, create a serum that turned him into a lizard to get back at the bullies. He went to attack them, and I had to go into full Spider mode. I didn’t know it was him but I stopped him, as soon as the commotion was over the roof had collapsed and it trapped us all in it. Peter didn’t make it, I went searching for you both in the rubble and saw that you both were under the rubble, no movement no nothing. My Father is the captain of the police force and tried to arrest me, ever since then I’ve just been hurting and now you’re both here” But you’re not, you’re completely different people from the people she knows. You pushed yourself off the wall and headed into the lab watching your Aunt and Gwen stand there both.

Your Aunt pulled her into a hug seeing the hurt she had been carrying all this time, you stayed back not wanting to interfere again because once again this girl you had just met this morning and she had a whole history with you.

While they were hugging a portal opened up next to her, out come Jessica Drew, the lovely lady you heard on the other end of the watch.

“Mission successful, I just snagged the Goblin from the port thanks to Hobie’s help.” Gwen looked surprised to see Jessica.

“What are you doing here!?” She asked confused, Jessica smiled and threw something towards you.

“We can always use more Talent” She said, with a smirk. “Miguel was impressed with your work and wants you to join, I wouldn’t say no by the way it’s a little hard to convince him to get people to join” As she said that a face appeared in her watch.

“No it isn’t , I took no convincing to let Y/N join, the clearly had the skills…” As Miguel kept going on about his decision Jessica disappeared into her portal and it closed.

You looked confused but Gwen held her arm up towards you and smiled. You looked towards your Aunt who rolled her eyes and pushed you towards Gwen, Gwen opened a portal and held her hand towards you.

“Y/N, You got a minute” You grabbed onto it and she pulled you through the portal.

[deadmomjokes]

Betwixt Christmas gift cash and Steam Family Sharing workaround shenanigans, the husband and I have finally started Baldur's Gate 3.

Went in basically blind except for knowing the names of the companions and the fact that Astarion is a vampire (couldn't miss that cultural osmosis).

We also came in on two different meta-levels as players.

He is very familiar with D&D, D&D-based games, computer games in general, and these sorts of games specifically. He's also that kind of person that plays things on Extreme Difficulty Mode for fun. He quits when something isn't challenging enough. His idea of relaxing, rewarding gameplay is ultra-hard-mode Elden Ring and Dark Souls.

I, on the other hand, am bad at games. Full stop. I have lost Wii Mario Kart to a 6 year old, repeatedly. I get hopelessly lost even when there's detailed maps, trackers, compasses, and flagged waypoints. I also panic in combat situations and have no strategic ability aside from "stand there, hit it, and hope it doesn't move." I'm more of a low-stakes visual novel sort of gamer. Stardew Valley is as intense as I get.

He is playing a Seldarine Drow warlock in a pact with an archfey. She's a noble with a ridiculously high Charisma score, a perfectly balanced spell loadout, and an even more balanced overall stat build. She's DPS without being totally squishy and helpless, and has advantage to almost everything. She also has an impeccable fashion sense and always looks put together, even when on death's door to a brain worm. Or, to put it in a way my husband would loathe, she got that drip.

I am playing a ginger himbo of a high elf fighter with -1 to Charisma and a -1000 to common sense. He's an impulsive maniac with, somehow, a +3 to intimidation despite being a truly gentle soul that believes every sob story he comes across. He's a sweaty, dusty, grubby little feral child (outlander background) with the world's messiest ponytail and greasepaint-turned-eyeliner that a 90s ex emo kid would be proud of. And that's him trying to look presentable. Despite having an impressive dexterity score, my natural disadvantage to dexterity (and Wisdom and Intelligence) as the player makes it so that this man bumbles his way into everything and only gets out by making horrifying threats he has absolutely no intention of following up on, or by being forced to stand his ground and take it on the jaw.

So this was going to be An Experience no matter what. And boy, it sure has been.

Thus far, we have:

Accidentally pacifism'd our way into every Goblin/Absolute aligned settlement we've encountered on the pure luck of husband's choice to play a Drow because he thought it would add an interesting dynamic. That interesting dynamic, he thought, would be difficulty. He thought being a Drow would make it harder because of the general hatred toward them. He's technically good-aligned, but, y'know, planet-of-hats racism means he was expecting it to work against him, which he likes because he likes when things are hard. Only now it's basically a free pass into all the areas we'd normally have to fight or sneak into. Great for our shared pacifist tendencies, but LOL

Lost a full hour of progress because my computer screen is tiny and bad at graphics and I hadn't learned all the controls yet, so while trying to investigate a hole in the floor of an abandoned church I tripped in face-first and got us into an unescapable, imminent-TPK situation, whereupon the game immediately autosaved for the first time since waking up on the beach. We have since learned to spam the quicksave button liberally.

Accepted a ton of mutually exclusive quests, half of which we have no intention of doing, just to try and get out of situations without combat, so now the mini map now looks like a cubist rendition of a simple sun drawing and I'm SO worried it's going to come crashing down and get us shanked in our sleep.

MET BEST BOY DOGGO I WILL DIE FOR SCRATCH 😭

Discovered husband's character is, build wise, a carbon-copy of Wyll. This was 100% unintentional and he's BIG mad about it LOL RIP

Impulsively pushed a button in a crypt without saving and woke up a bunch of skellies we weren't prepared for, but were somehow also saved by that same impulsivity because I had previously run around the entire area and looted every single skeleton no matter how useless it was to my character, so they all woke up without their weapons so HAH take that I TOLD YOU being a klepto would pay off

Immediately after this fortuitous stroke of fate, having learned exactly nothing, my impulsive maniac opened the shiny sarcophagus before consulting anyone or healing. Luckily it wasn't cursed or trapped or full of enemies (it was Withers, and I'm love), but I'm now not allowed to open or interact with anything bigger than a crate without announcing it first so husband has the chance to go NO WAIT LET ME SAVE FIRST

Sneaked into a secret underground passage, whereupon my husband sent his invisible'd familiar around to carefully scout the area, discovering the button that would turn off the overpowered guardian statue. My character then readied a crossbow shot to hit said button, but in trying to move out of the way of the other party members, stepped right into the statue's attack circle. I panicked, tried to move, but couldn't figure out how to unselect the attack I could no longer use, and tried to fix it by pausing. But all of that just resulted in me standing there, doing nothing, until I finally dropped dead. Luckily I passed my saving throws, and more luckily still, my husband managed to stop laughing long enough to eldritch blast the statue to pieces and come get me.

So anyway, we're having the best time. I know we're late to the party, but it really is so good. I may have even teared up a little during the dream sequence with the psychedelic neon light guardian warriors. This is going to consume my brain for the next few months, and I'm happy to have paid for the privilege. 10/10, absolutely deserves that GOTY and the $60 price tag both.

No spoilers please, we're only level 3 and just encountering the Goblin Camp. (We've met everyone but Karlach, I believe.) But rest assured, as we learn and discover more I will come yelling and seeking those who will screech with me. Probably mostly about my new sons that I've acquired, namely the lying purple sadsack trash wizard with some horrifying kind of chronic illness and/or addiction, and the prettiest most specialist murder machine who definitely won't admit it but is definitely gonna need a hug when I finish breaking down those obviously performative emotional walls.

Also, Lae'zel scares me. Please stop yelling at me, you cranky fish woman, I'm trying my best here 😭

[sweet-s0rr0w]

My first Five Faves of the year. It's been A While, I know. I have drafts for others in the pipeline, and then @oknowkiss went and posted two bangers within a couple of weeks and it all went out the window because I just had to go all oknowrec, ya know? Look, whenever I read anything that I ADORE, the first people to hear about it are always my buddies @tackytigerfic and @sitp-recs - and you know I mean it when it's full on caps lock raving DMs - see also @wolfpants' The Hollow and @moonflower-rose's Pissing For England (reclists for both authors hopefully coming soon!) I swear I must have spent a full week going on about the first Elaine fic I read, any day now. I mean, truly, I went through all the emotions with that one: elation at finding such an amazing author, grief at my own inadequacy, anger that it was over - it was a rollercoaster, believe me.

Elaine's turn of phrase is always spot on, her inventiveness in world-building is second to none, and her fics somehow seem to retain this fabulous lightness of tone that keeps things just on the right side of heartbreakingly raw. She's undeniably hugely talented, and now has a fabulous AO3 back-catalogue for you to sink your teeth into, so please waste no more time in checking out her fics!

Read oknowkiss' work here on AO3!

💋 Historians (E, 30k, fake relationship, Gryffindors (and some hangers on), bad skiing, bunk beds, hot tubs, getting together)

Summary: It’s the Dumbledore’s Army Reunion Holiday, and Harry’s found himself in hot water with his friends once again, after telling them he has a boyfriend he definitely does not have. In an attempt to fix things, he’s made it his colleague on Level Nine, Draco Malfoy’s problem too. Featuring a ski chalet in Switzerland, a pair of bunk beds, and an agreement that should’ve been simple, were it not for all the bloody feelings getting in the way.

💋 in between two tall mountains (there's a place they call lonesome) (E, 8.3k, Relic Chaser Harry, researcher Draco, campervans, treasure hunting in Oregon, inappropriately timed wanks)

Summary: In the shadow of a mountain on the Oregon coast, there may or may not lie a shipwreck, on which there may or may not be a magical relic, lost hundreds of years ago. Harry's been tasked with finding it, and Draco is there to take notes, and they're stuck in a campervan pretending to be married, and it's all going to be just fine. That's what Draco's gotten rather good at telling himself, anyway.

💋 any day now (E, 17k, prisoner Draco, Auror trainee Harry, secret codes, a feelings puppet, morally grey everything and everyone)

Summary: Draco supposes he should be grateful. 

The rehabilitation centres were the Minister’s idea, or that’s what the Prophet said anyway. Their stated objective is simple: to provide a safe space for low-tier Death Eaters and high-tier sympathisers to reconsider the entirety of their life choices. All guests–because no one is a prisoner here, the literature brags–are to be provided with shelter, food, clothing, and the guided support of a Mind Healer via a programme they call “ideological restructuring,” which is, of course, mandatory. 

OR: Draco Malfoy considers the circle.

💋 draco malfoy's substitute murder service (E, 11k, curse breaker Harry, various incredible mythological monsters, Christmas)

Summary: When Harry joins the Curse Breakers shortly after his twenty-fifth birthday, he’s surprised to find himself assigned to the Department of Creatures, Cryptids, and Associated Calamities.

OR: the one where Draco goes goblin mode, and Harry has a thing for monsters.

💋The July Tree (E, 52k, Eighth Year, Greenhouse Four, Draco Malfoy does Muggle Scotland, The Who, First Times)

Summary: Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail… nor well-meaning friends, nor questionable communication skills, nor seven years of hating each other’s guts can keep Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy from falling in love.

OR: It’s Eighth Year, and Harry Potter has detention. What else is new? Well, since you asked: Greenhouse Four and the Tree of Life, for a start, and then there’s the new shared Eighth Year common room, and Harry’s sexuality, and these pesky dreams he keeps having about a blond man pushing him into things…

Previous Five Favourite Fic Posts: thestarryknight | vukovich | fwooshy | lq_traintracks (and 10 more) | tackytiger (and microfics) | m0stlyvoid | peachpety | magpie_fngrl | shiftylinguini | onbeinganangel | veelawings | shealwaysreads | loveglowsinthedark | birdsofshore | maesterchill | frayach | graymatters | bixgirl1 (part one/part two | skeptique)

[silvertherogue715]

Hey. It's been a hot minute since i've posted any art. I really just post for myself, but i felt especially proud of the progress ive made over the course of (many) months designing the Sunstar of my BrainrotAU. Feel free to disregard! I'm just gonna ramble. Art will be included in the 'keep reading' section though.

I didn't want to deal with uploading the actual art files, and just used snippet to capture pieces of my art instead. The pictures could be irregularly large or small as a result--I don't have a good way to control then when using snippet. Sorry! Some old art of Sunstar.exe (not in order):

So, as you can see above, a lot of blue. It's kind of overpowering, honestly, and it took me a while to figure out I needed to start making changes to his color palette.

This was his first half body reference sheet. A ton of blue. Also my only REF of him with his back showing. I haven't updated his back design yet, but the final product will be much different.

Eventually, I decided to make his shoulder-braiser things orange instead of blue, as well as the sun-like gem on his helmet. I also started working out any built-in flaws I wanted to force his character to work around--like his hands being constantly on fire, or extremely hot. This just means he has to be extremely careful touching anything or anyone. It's not something he can just "turn off". Also, I think this was my first attempt at a proper full body design for him. It's fine for a second first attempt, and I was happy with it for a few months, but eventually I started thinking it shared the bulky OG robot master traits, rather than the 'netnavi' look I was wanting.

I started tinkering with his colors again, but only made minor changes. It was hard to pinpoint exactly what was 'off' to me without a proper full body to experiment on, but I very rarely have the willpower to make one. Some of these expression snippets were more helpful for me to use to at least get a read on exactly how expressive he can be in the AU, if he wanted to. Another big thing this helped me realize was how limited his expressions felt with the current colors (like his eyelashes), especially with how dark his face was. It made his nose/mouth harder to see. I end up making it a lighter shade in future doodles. Oh, and I wanted to start integrating pieces of Duo.exe's design into him as well--like the flat nose.

Woe, Sunterra doodle be upon ye. I need to finish this some day, but a big thing this helped me identify were: 1.) I desperately need to work on poses. 2.) I needed to figure out how to give Sunstar a "soft" look. In the expressions practice above, this was one of his faces i really struggled to get down. Still working on that. 3.) Another reminder he was too clunky to match a normal Navi design. Terra looks much more 'navi'-like. I needed to do a whole ass reboot for Sunstar from top-down. Anyway! The most recent stuff will be below. A few (bad) attempts:

And then I basically went "screw it" and went goblin mode at a full body attempt. Here's what I finally ended up with :")

For now I've decided to stick with a (mostly) cool/silver base with some warm orange and yellows mixed in in (hopefully) unobtrusive ways. Maybe this will change in the future, but for now I'm happy with his design :)

The orange on the bottom of his cape is meant to be a fire-y design, but I'm too tired to refine it (or anything else) further. Hopefully I'll have more art to update. eventually.

If you made it this far, thanks for sticking around, lol.

[hellfiremunsonn]

Smashing Pumpkins. Eddie Munson x Reader

Smashing Pumpkins.

I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT

SUMMARY: basically ur a little shit and wont let him help you even though you’re definitely struggling and he keeps asking you to give him the knife but ur just in full goblin mode and wont let him and then you cut yourself a little, and hes like SEEE!!!

18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.

Warnings: fem!reader, little bit of ditsy!reader, Eddie being the sweetest boyfriend, hospital, stitches, blood (reader slices her thumb pretty badly) a doctor (cause ya know, ur in the hospital) IF I MISSED ANYTHING ELSE LET ME KNOW 

 Word count: 1876

You’re sat in the middle of Eddies living room. Newspaper and a big black garbage bag surround you from where you say, legs splayed out into a V with a very large pumpkin in between them. You wanted to do something really cool and surprise Eddie with it when he came home from work, but the fucker came home early, ruining any chance of surprise. You were elbow deep into the pumpkin, pulling out the cold squishy insides and letting them splat onto newspaper next to you when he walked through the door.

He choked on the song he was humming, slightly startled at your presence, and even more so to see the giant pumpkin between your legs.

“Eddieeee!” You whined, tipping your head back. “You weren’t supposed to be home yet!”

He laughed, setting his things down on the counter before turning to you. “I mean I can leave if that’s what you want?” He said teasingly, thumb pointed to the door behind him.

“No, you can stay” You said mumbling, trying to hide your smile “But you ruined the surprise” You said with a pout, continuing with the squishy insides.

“Was the surprise the giant pumpkin in your lap?” He said shuffling towards the sink in the kitchen, washing his hands thoroughly of any left over grease and dirt from work.

“It might have been” you mumbled. “Well technically it was gunna be the jackolantern I’m turning it into, so you can’t look till it’s done okay?” You said picking up the large kitchen knife next to you and pointing it at him.

He laughed, putting his hands up in surrender, coming over to you, feet balanced on either side of the carpet not covered by pumpkin mess, as he leaned down to kiss you on the forehead.

You giggled. “You look like you’re playing a weird game of twister”

Eddie laughed, tipping his head back and almost losing his balance. “I’m gunna change, please don’t hurt yourself while I’m not in the room” He said with a pointed look.

“I’ve made it this far Munson, I think I can manage” you said smiling.

He rolled his eyes and left, a very dramatic “mhmm” leaving his lips as we went.

You continued gutting your pumpkin until you were satisfied with it’s mostly clean insides, and started on carving it. You really didn’t know what to put on it, and you didn’t really have the artistic abilities, to do something more creative, so you decided on making the pumpkin look as silly as possible. An all too happy pumpkin to sit outside of the Munsons home. You laughed to yourself as you started on its eyes, classic triangles.

When Eddie came back out, you had the pumpkin as close to you as you could get it, practically under your chin as you concentrated on guiding the knife back and forth through its thick skin.

Eddie audibly cringed when he saw the way you were handling the knife. “Baby can I do that for you?” He asked sweetly.

“M'fine Eds I got it” You said huffing, blowing a few strands of hair away from your face.

He tapped his fingers on his thighs. “What about using a smaller knife? It might be easier” he said taking a step towards you, slowly like you were a small animal that was going to get spooked at any sudden movement.

“They don’t cut as well as this one” You said with a grunt, the knife finally going through to the other side.

“You’re going to hurt yourself” arms crossed, like a parent scolding a child.

You looked up at him through your lashes. “You look like Steve” You said with a smirk, and he immediately dropped his hands to his sides, shoving them into his pockets. 

“Can I please do it for you?” He almost begged.

“If you take one more step I will stab you I swear” You said laughing, holding the knife up to point it at him again, a harmless threat because in actuality you would never hurt that soft boy intentionally. “I know how to use a Knife Edward, I’m not gunna hurt myself, I’ve carved a pumpkin with much worse”

Cringing at his full name he huffed. “Cause that’s exactly what I need to hear to reassure me of your safety” He said rolling his eyes and turning towards the kitchen.

You mocked him in a high pitch voice before stabbing the knife into the pumpkin once more “You worry too much, I’m very mu- Shit” You cut yourself; sliced the side of your thumb from where your hand was holding the pumpkin steady, the knife slipping out a little too much with your last pull, slicing the meaty side of your thumb. Dropping the knife haphazardly you wrapped your hand around your thumb with a whimper, afraid to look at the damage.

“You cut yourself didn’t you?” Eddie said coming to your side quickly.

“N-no” You stuttered, eyes big and watery, bitting down on your bottom lip.

“Can I see?” he asked softly, tentative hands on top of yours. Looking down you saw blood dripping down the palm of your hand and your heart beat quickened slightly. Letting go of your thumb slowly, your hand sticky with the warm substance, you realized you cut yourself a lot deeper than you thought. You shoved your hand back around your thumb tightly, doing a breathing exercise to try to keep yourself calm. Eyes back on Eddies, his softened at your expression, one hand coming to cup your cheek, brushing away the tears that began rolling down your flushed cheeks. “Hey you’re okay baby, were gunna wrap it up nice and tight, and just take a little trip to the emergency room okay?”

You whimpered and shook your head ‘no’ in response, words stuck in your throat, unable to get anything coherent out.

“It’ll be okay, promise” he said standing up and walking into the kitchen, returning to the floor next to you with a baby blue tea-towel in hand. “Here, c'mon, we gotta wrap your hand up babe” when you hesitated to give him your hand, afraid of losing more blood.

“I’ll be quick yeah?” He said reaching one of his hands out. You took a deep breath, leaning towards him and freeing your thumb from your hand, looking away while he swiftly wrapped the towel around it. He grabbed your other hand, bringing it back to your now wrapped hand, and squeezed your fingers, encouraging you to hold the towel tightly in place. You winced a little, a few more tears escaping when you finally opened your eyes.

“Alright up you get” Eddie said holding onto your elbows while you leaned them into his palms, steadying yourself as you stood up. Helping you into your shoes, Eddie knelt in front of you, quick fingers looping the old laces of your converse, wrapping one of his sweaters over your shoulders and leaning you to his van. Hopping up onto the ledge with you he made sure you were safe in your seat, leaning over you to buckle in your seatbelt before heading to the drivers side.

The wait wasn’t as long as you thought it might have been, and by the time a doctor finally saw you, your thumb had mostly stopped bleeding. Still from it being so deep, the doctor decided to give you two stitches, knowing it would heal faster this way.

“Alright if you would just turn your head, maybe look at your boyfriend there, I’m going to numb your thumb so I can stitch you up”

“Oh god” You mumbled, turning to Eddie, your free hand holding tightly onto the fabric of his shirt, in the centre of his chest. He brought both of his hands to yours, warm and large as they wrapped around it.

“You got this babe, it’ll be quick don’t worry” He leaned forward to kiss you on the forehead, his subtle attempt to loosen the tightness of your furrowed brows, creasing in the middle.

You felt the doctor take your hand, almost as gently as Eddie had touched it earlier, but you could tell it was more strategic verses being comforting.

“If you could just take in a nice deep breath for me” The doctor said calmly, and you did as you were told. Inhaling deeply, almost hurting your lungs with how much air you pulled in you groaned at the sharp pinch in your thumb, clenching your teeth together and leaning forward until your head rested on Eddies chest, just above your still clenched fist.

“Jesus, fuck, christ, shit, bitch, tit that hurts” You spat out the words, mostly muffled by Eddies chest. He tried not to laugh at your choice of expletives and how your feet were stomping quickly on the white tiled floor.

Within less than a minute, you were stitched back together, and wrapped up with a now comically large white gauzed thumb. You felt stupid, a little embarrassed, and a bit hungry. Unusually quiet on the drive home until Eddie turned to you briefly, before looking back at the road. “What’s up buttercup?”

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you felt silly for being emotional about it; maybe it was the adrenaline wearing off but still. “M'sorry” You said quietly.

Eddie turned to you again, a few times in a row to take in your expression while still driving safely. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for my love” he reached over with one hand, petting the hair away from your face, hand resting gently on the back of your head. You turned to face him, cheek pressing agaisnt the skin of his wrist.

“You don’t think I’m stupid?”

He snorted. “Hardly, you’ve hurt yourself in weirder ways”

“Never needed stitches though” You said with a pout, very much feeling sorry for yourself. “Oh god did I leave blood in your house? What if Wayne sees it and thinks you really did kill someone this time, oh no”

Eddie laughed hard at that one, it was loud and throaty, his hand returning to the steering wheel as he turned back down the road of the trailer park. “You know he wont be home until way later, and besides, you really didn’t bleed all that much, just a little much”

“Just a little much?” You repeated with a smile, cheeks sticky from leftover tears.

Eddie held up two fingers, his index and his thumb giving you a visual of how much blood actually came out. You rolled your eyes at him and laughed, unclipping your seatbelt and sliding out of his van, being extra cautious of your thumb, holding it against your chest for maximum protection.

Coming around to your side of the van, Eddie wrapped his arm around your shoulder, leading you back to the trailer. “Can I help you carve the damn thing now?” he asked, opening the door and letting you in first.

“Nah, I think we should smash it, I’m mad at it now” You said staring at the pumpkin through slitted eyes, hoping it could sense your hatred through your look.

“Smashing pumpkins huh? Sounds metal, I’m in” He said with a grin.

[leam1983]

Disability Woes (or Munchies Woes?)

People think being disabled means you're occasionally forced to confront the indignity of your lowered physical capability, when the truth of it is that I just can't head out in the fucking snow on my own to get a brownie at 1 AM.

An able-bodied person could think "I'm on vacay, I'm already in full Vampire Goblin mode, so fuck it. 1 AM Brownie Time, there's the car keys, let's fucking go".

I can't. Walt might love being given excuses to eat, but he wouldn't like it if I padded out of the office and back into the bedroom and went "Hey hon? Wake up, I need sweets. I need you to drive me to the corner store."

I'll just have to be a boring, ordinary, common sense-possessing bloke and drink my craving away with some good ol' H2O. I probably shouldn't have worked through that first Vacation Blunt before 10:30. It's midnight, now, and all I've got on the brain is gooey torrents of hot chocolate sauce.

[realcube]

comfort with the haikyuu!! boys hcs 💝

characters: kenma, bokuto, ushijima, tsukishima, akaashi

thanks to anon for the request (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

ALL AGED UP! (no mature themes though) (i just like the post-timeskip domestic dynamics)

tw// hurt! reader, swearing, mentions of death, fluff, angst if you squint

Kenma Kuzome

bb has cat senses so he can tell when you’re sad

he can also tell bc you do the exact same thing he does when he’s sad, which is cuddle underneath blankets in bed, play animal crossing and blare lo-fi music to conceal your faint sobs

so when he walks into your shared room and notices you wrapped up in blankets on the bed, he does his best to suppress a snicker whicH HE FEELS SO BAD FOR HAVING IN THE FIRST PLACE

like he knows you’re sad but a part of his mind is just like ‘heh, (y/n) burrito.’ like you just look sO FKN CUTE!!

anyway, the first thing he always does when you’re down is approach you on the bed, sneak under the blankets and join to you to become a (y/n) & kenma burrito 

also, he might turn the speaker off depending on how loud the music is lol but if it’s at an okay volume then he’ll just leave it on and vibe with you for a bit as he desperately wracks his brain, trying to come up with something reassuring to say 

you usually comes up with the something basic like, ‘what’s wrong?’ but i mean, you don’t really mind - at least he’s making an effort and you know it must be difficult for him to think of things to say lol

depending on how sad you are, you might just tell him straight-up what happened or you might text him bc you don’t think you’ll be able to choke out an answer without bursting into tears again

then he’ll ask you if you want to be alone and act accordingly 

assuming that you say ‘no’ bc you want his presence, he’ll just recollect on the last time you comforted him while he was down and mimic it tbh

..you always comfort him so well 🥺 and whenever you console him, he always feels so much better so he just thought that maybe if he imitates you, then it’ll work just as well

so he started off by resting his head on your shoulder and whispering kind things in your ear just like you did to him, ‘you know i love you, right?’ , ‘i hope you feel better soon’, ‘do you want me to bring you some food?’

he’ll seriously do everything in his power to make sure that you’re as comfortable as possible 

and he’ll stay as a (y/n) & kenma burrito until you feel better or until the sun rises  ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰)

Kōtarō Bokuto

i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again - he’s such an empath and so overdramatic

so when he comes home from work and you don’t run up to the door to give him hugs & kisses- he’s about to burst into tears himself

so he sulks up to your room now IMAGINE HOW SHOCKED HE IS WHEN HE WALKS IN TO SEE YOU CRYING UNDER THE BLANKETS

emo-mode engaged :(

his hair deflates as he pounces on you and wails, ‘(Y/N)! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHO HURT YOU?!’ (ಥ _ ಥ)

and the bitch dives on you while you are under the blanket, essentially scaring and suffocating you 

‘bokuto, get off me!’ you shrieked, wriggling out of his grip and out from under the blanket

 when he notices you had escaped the blanket with tear-stained cheeks, he felt even worse 

he threw himself into your arms, howling, ‘(Y/N)!! I AM SO SORRY!’

at this point all the blood had rushed to your head and you had kinda forgotten that you were sad for a moment or two

‘bo! you should know you’re own strength by now.’ you muttered, rubbing the underneaths off your puffy eyes

‘I KNOW!’ he wailed once more, burying his face into the crook of your neck

you sighed while rubbing his back, unable to supress a slight giggle, ‘bokuto..’ 

there was ages of silence between the two of you before he pulled away to look you in the eyes and asked, ‘(y/n), why were you crying before i got here?’

you’d explain the issue to him and he’d do everything in his power to solve it because the way he sees it, why should he try console you when he can just fix the variable that’s making you sad in the first place?

like, if you were just fired from your job, he’ll go full karen and he will call corporate to demand for your job back if you don’t stop him

or if your loved one died, he’ll become a fkn medium or study resurrection

or if you’re just stressed from exams/tests, he’ll just be like ‘why do you need to go to uni anyway?’

‘so i can get a qualification.’

‘why do you need that?’

‘so i can apply for a job.’

‘why do you need a job?’

‘so i can make money, so i don’t starve.’

‘you can have my money!’

you couldn’t help but chuckle at how much life-experience bokuto had, yet he will still so naïve; honestly, you couldn’t even tell if he was joking or not. ‘what if we break up?-”

“DON’T SAY THAT!” he gasped, instinctively tightening his grip on you

Wakatoshi Ushijima

both you and ushijima’s pride did not allow y’all to cry in front of one another 

if you ever had to cry, you’d just run to the bathroom, lock the door, turn on the tap to drown out the sound of your sobs and just let it all out

and if he ever had to cry, he’d just do it in the shower

but like- you both knew when the other one had been crying because of their puffy, damp eyes but you both mutually agreed to not mention it

i mean, up until now y’all had both been able to flourish in the relationship while dealing with emotions on your own so why bother changing?

and if anything, you both felt more comfortable crying to yourselves

 that was, until today

you had cracked under the pressure of your job - you were simply sitting at your desk in the study room, doing some work then it all just came crashing down

ushijima had just stepped out of the shower in his towel and was currently wandering around the house in search of you, to inform you that he ran out of shampoo so it would be greatly appreciated if you were to add it to the shopping list 

but when he entered the study to see you sitting there by your computer, bawling you eyes out..he froze

like he had to do a whole double-take bc he wasn’t sure if he was seeing this correctly

your face was buried in your hands so you didn’t notice him at first but then you heard him awkwardly clear his throat from the doorway and your neck immediately jerked to look at him

it was quite embarrassing for the both of you, ngl

like he was standing there half-naked, staring into your red eyes in hopes that what he saw was just a hallucination

after what felt like hours of deafening silence, ushijima broke it by muttering under his breath, ‘uh, is everything okay?’

‘everything is fine, toshi.’ you replied, forcing a bright smile onto your face as you went back to typing, ‘did you come down here to tell me somethi--’

‘i can tell that there is something wrong.’ he stated, walking towards you while using one had to hold his towel in place and draping the other over your shoulders to pull you into his chest. ‘do you want to tell me?’

you let out a long sigh, resting your cheek against his chest while still staring at the many tabs you had open on your desktop 

but ushijima quickly fixed that by taking your chin in-between his thumb and index finger, then turning your face to look up at him, 

‘work?’ he hummed his assumption

‘yeah.’ you mumbled, quite surprised at how understanding he was being

but then again, ushijima obviously knows what it feels like to be overworked and burnt out too, so he was able to provide a lot of empathy in that sense

Kei Tsukishima

ok a bit of tsukki slander but i feel like tsukishima would make it worse WEILUBRGBE

wait no well, he doesn’t make it worse but he doesn’t make it better either

like he’ll walk into the living room and see you curled up under a blanket on the couch, lightly sobbing from underneath- and he honestly doesn’t know how to act

this is the first time he’s seen you cry bc usually y’all keep your emotions to yourselves - you’re both v independent like that （￣︶￣)

anyway, mans thinks he can just tease the sadness out of you 🙄

‘awh, is my little couch goblin feeling sad?’ he said shakily, clearly intimidated by your figure lying on the couch, and you could tell he was nervous per his use of the nickname ‘couch goblin’

‘‘TSUKISHIMA, FUCK OFF!’ you barked, hastily wiping away your tears and clinging to blanket to prevent him from pulling it away, as the last thing you wanted him to see was your weary figure just so he could tease you about it 

‘bitch, i live here.’ he hissed, rubbing the back of his neck - feeling rather conflicted

on one hand, you seemed serious when you asked him to leave; plus, the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel uncomfortable by staying when you’re already sad

but on the other hand, he genuinely wanted to help

he’d feel bad if he were to just leave his s/o in tears when he could’ve done something to make you feel better 

‘do you really want me to go?’ he asked and for a change, not a hint of mockery or sarcasm was found in his voice

there were several moments of silence until you mumbled from under your blanket, ‘no.’ then proceeded to lift up your arm to allow him to crawl under the blanket and join you

he did so, pulling you against his chest so you could sob lightly against his cotton shirt while being engulfed by warm darkness

‘what could’ve possibly went wrong to make the evilest blanket demon cry?’

‘evilest blanket demon’ - that was definitely a new one, and you’d be lying if you said a small snicker didn’t escape your mouth at how monotonously he was able to deliver such a unique nickname

and after years of being in a relationship with tsukki, you’ve learned to find comfort in these nicknames considering they were a big part of how he expressed love 

in his vocabulary, ‘you’re so annoying.’ is equal to ‘i love you’

so him calling you an ‘evil blanket demon’ was, in his eyes, the highest and most sincere form of flattery

you eventually tell him what happened that made you sad and he just listens 

feel free to ramble on about anything/everything that’s worried you for the last few months bc he’s all ears 

he figured that other than make you dinner and hug you, that was the best thing he could do to help bc he was far from a romantic who’s good with words 

if he tries to console you verbally it would probably come out like ‘uh, don’t cry - i understand what you’re going through, i think, but like- cry if you want. this must be tough for you, to be honest.’

so he just listens to what you have to say and occasionally inputs a lil’ ‘mhm’ or ‘yeah’

he’s probably the most patient with you so you could stay sad on the couch for the next few weeks, as long as you’re eating the meals he delivers to you and you’re staying healthy, he’ll just let you mope until you feel better tbh

Keiji Akaashi

boyfie material right here

i’m hardly an akaashi simp but he’s probably the best at comforting you while you’re sad tbh

because he’s literally been dealing with bokuto and his emo-mode for god-knows how long so he’s very good with reassuring people😌

also, i just know that this man can detect emotions so well- evEN THROUGH TEXT ISTG

he’d text you the usual ‘goodnight ❤’

and you’ll quickly wipe away your tears that were blurring your vision to reply ‘goodnight 💕’ 

then he’ll deadass text back like ‘i’m coming over. what’s wrong?’

HE JUST KNOWS!! don’t question it bc he doesn’t even have a logical answer lol

anyway, he’ll arrive and immediately begin with the reassurance before you even tell him what’s wrong 

‘you’re coping so well, (y/n).’

‘i’m so proud and i love you so much.’

‘is there anything i can do to make you feel better?’

‘would you like a hug?’

‘you’re beautiful, (y/n). i hope you know that.’

‘do you want me to get you ice-cream?’

a king- 👑

also, you weren’t embarrassed to cry in front of him either bc you had seen him cry before 

plus, y’all both established at the very beginning of the relationship that you’d both try be as honest and open with your emotions as possible

so now, you were both sitting beside each other on your bed while sharing a banana split that akaashi made (you put the sprinkles on though so you basically gave it flavour ✨)

akaashi is definitely the therapist friend to so he gives great advice 

but if you don’t want his advice and you’d prefer him to just listen, then he can do that too 

honestly, he’d do basically anything to make you feel better 🥺

[holycow99]

石田お寿司 19/7/21 stream translation Part 1

This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk. 

(t/n: Sorry for the late update. I had so many distractions these past 2 weeks. This translation may have a lot of mistranslations as I couldn’t really catch what he said since the bgm was super loud. I tried my best to separate the voice and the bgm so that the voice would be clearer, but I didn’t manage to do that.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I: Hello. You guys, are you ready for Ghosts n Goblins? I am.

C: You’re in high spirits tonight.

I: Of course. I’ve been busy with the rough sketches. I’ve spend the entire day fixing the sketches for chp 5.

*Fixing the sound

C: Contrarily, won’t you feel stressed playing this game for a change of pace?

I: I’m already used to this game.

I: I’m stuck in the same place so I’m gonna play this game from the start.

*Choosing mode.

I: I’ve played this game before (referring to the old ver.), so I’ll choose the harder mode.

*Choosing stage.

I: I haven’t progressed at all. I haven’t seen the other stages yet. Graveyard, execution chamber. I played the execution chamber stage for a bit during the stream with Ms. Towada. I progressed a little only. Should I play the graveyard stage?

*Playing the stage.

I: The armour used to get destroyed with just one hit. The armour has a ranking. If you collect a lot of armours, it’ll become a bronze armour. This one is probably a metal armour.

C: Fighting!

I: Kamsahamnida. Is it Kamsahamnida? Thank you.

(t/n: Kamsahamnida means thank you in Korean. He’s talking in Korean.)

C: Have you decided on the date for Kagoshima trip?

I: That’s right. What should I do with the trip? Looks like I can secure 20 buses.

(t/n: Ishida had been jokingly planned on a trip with Japanese fans.)

C: Is the stage different from the old one?

I: It looks similar, but I think it’s a completely different stage. Yeah, it’s completely different. What’s this creature? What’s his name again? Everyone said they didn’t like this boss. I like it. He’s like a friend to me.

C: Russia loves you, sensei.

I: Really? I heard that illegal uploading of manga is widespread in Russia. Haha. I have a grudge against Russia. Haha. Spasiba (thank you in Russian).

C: I like Russian girls. They’re cute.

I: I don’t think it’s because they’re Russians. I heard that their nose tends to be taller due to the climate effects. This isn’t considered as discrimination, right? That’s why they’re good-looking. The same with their white complexion. People adore those with tall nose because their noses are small and cute.

(t/n: I’m not sure about the translation of this part since I couldn’t hear him clearly. He said something more but I couldn’t catch it. Sorry.)

Y****: Are you about to snap?

I: Ah, Y****?! You’re here. You weren’t in the prev. stream, right? I’m not angry.

Y****: I was busy with club.

I: What club are you in? You must be busy. What club are you in as a middle schooler?

Y****: Theatre club.

I: Theatre club?! You’re kidding, right?! Really?! It’s so unexpected, hahaha. Theatre club? I thought you’re in a sports club, like soccer or something. So cool. That’s nice. Seriously? Do they have theatre club in middle school? Amazing.

*Ishida struggling to kill the monsters and then died.

I: I was looking at the comments, waiting for Y****’s to show up, then I became like this.

*Someone commented that they did vocalisation training in theatre club.

I: Vocalisation training? So they do have that. Wait a min, did Y**** say something? Wait, tell me when I die again.

Y****: I’m a high-school student.

I: Eh, Y****, you’re a high-school student?! Didn’t you say you’re 13?! Were you a high school student all this time?! Wait, can I talk to Y**** for a bit? Hahaha. Eh?! Have you been a high-schooler all this while?!

*Continue playing.

I: Hurry up and tell me. I suddenly become interested in human world. Y****, hurry. Did he say something?

Y****: I’m in my first year.

I: I see. A first year student. So, last year you’re 13? I remember you said you’re 13. You’ve enrolled to high school. Congrats for your admission! It must be hard with the COVID-19 situation. Y**** has further modified. His DPS (Damage Per Second) has increased to 1980.

C: I envy the youth.

I: Well, you can become anything as a high-schooler. If you work hard, you can become an actor or a playwright, though I’m not really sure. (inaudible). I think it’s a very good career.

C: What club were you in?

I: I was in volleyball club. I was in the badminton club for 3 months. I joined because of similar reason I joined volleyball club.  I joined because I wanted to be good at smashing. Then, I quit the club after I’ve mastered it. Same with volleyball. I wanted to master spike. I had other stuffs I wanted to do. I wanted to play games all day long. I didn’t wanna go for club activities. I skipped club activities and played Smash Bros. I was a boarding student, after all.

C: Have you read Look Back? (t/n: Look Back is a one shot manga by Fujimoto Tatsuki, author of Chainsaw Man.)

I: Yes, I have.

C: Which console is this?

I: This is switch. I play this because I was tired from fixing the rough sketches for chp 5.

C: Did you go and watch Yamakasa? (t/n: Yamakasa refers to the float carried by men during Hakata Gion Yamakasa festival. You can google it up for more info.)

I: I watch when there’s one. Ms. Towada went and see it. Where did she recently visit?

*Ishida having a hard time defeating the monsters & passing the stage.

I: This is harder than RE. RE is way easier compared to this.

C: Sensei is getting tired!

I: Actually, I should be resting at times like this. It’d be better for me to rest after I did the rough sketches.

*Someone commented they had to work that night.

I: It must be hard to work at this time. Night shift? Nurses and… is it correct? I’m not so sure though, but caregivers also have night shifts. Well, good luck on your job. Take care of your health, eat a lot of delicious foods, and don’t forget to wear an armour. You don’t know when you’ll be absorbed into this game.

C: I need to do excel as my assignment.

I: Must be difficult. I copy pasted the stuffs I found on the internet for my assignments. I wasn’t the only one who did that. Everyone else did the same too.

I: I like summer. If I were to pick a season…but I prefer autumn. Still, summer is great.

C: I have test tomorrow.

I: Then, you should study.

C: I hate summer since there’ll be a lot of Terra Formars.

(t/n: terra formars is a manga about humanoid cockroaches. So, OP referred cockroaches as terra formars.)

I: Yup. They’re in the drawers the other day. They’re always there mostly. 

C: What are you drinking today?

I: Barley tea. I want to drink juice. Ginger ale as well, but I’ll gain weight drinking that. I drink it occasionally. Do you guys know root beer?

*Ishida constantly failed and died.

Comments: Are you getting angry?

I: This is pissing you off, right? I’m pissed off. Of course I’d be pissed off with something like this. The ones who made this game, show yourselves. I’m gonna bring this to court and claim for compensation.

Comments: Please calm down.

I: I’m calming down. Okay, I’ve calmed down.

*Finally progressing a little.

I: Yes, finally! I’m gonna do this calmly.

*Fighting a bunch of monsters.

I: (whispering) Calmly! Calmly!

*Dead again.

I: (whispering) Shit! Just now…It might be impossible without the armour. Let’s do this calmly.

I: This game is more of a psycho break than Psychobreak.

Part 2

[jakey-beefed-it]

Had our second session of the new campaign w/ Goblin Squad’s DM (down two members who burned out on D&D, hence the new campaign rather than continuing which is understandable but still I’m very much not over my boy Altanin and will be looking to get him some resolution somehow) and it went well- two of the PCs (my 1/2 drow Hexblade/Rogue Arylla and my sister’s tiefling Bard Rose) are doing well bonding and caring about each other, and we’re gonna drag the other one (my fiancee’s human Paladin, actual name secret, referred to only as ‘The Dark Paladin’ or ‘Deep’ for short) along and annoy her into liking us. 

We blundered into Plot early in the first session, when a badly injured aasimar guy literally collided with my rascal-with-a-heart-of-gold and she was like ‘Well, shit’. He was carrying some sort of Tome sealed through arcane means that a lot of people were after- at least one of the two major religions in the setting, as well as a really spooky one-eyed lady who explicitly warned us to turn it over or else make an enemy we’d come to regret. Like any good D&D party, we chose to make an enemy.

We got the aasimar guy to some help (mostly at the insistence of my character who has Issues with people dying on her) and took his book and left town, trying to get it to the guy who he was trying to get it to. Got some really vague lore about what it contains- ‘knowledge’ which is apparently sufficient to ‘reshape the world’. Not the sort of thing a trio of level one (two now!) characters can really take advantage of themselves, but two of us also have potential people we can turn it over to in order to fix some of our backstory ‘mistakes’ (which weren’t ethical mistakes, just ‘mistakes’ in the sense that they pissed off powerful people). So naturally we’re discussing the possibility of maybe giving it to the Bard’s ‘patron’ (her father; she’s a noble bastard) to get power and influence, especially since it turns out that the aasimar’s contact is apparently a priest for the other major religion in the setting and none of us is especially keen on empowering an institution we’re not a part of. None of us is religious; Rose was raised among a backstabby royal court and mistrusts everyone to have an Agenda, Arylla had a bunch of tragedy in her life and concluded ‘the gods don’t care about us so why should we care about them?’, and the Dark Paladin specifically is an ex-cultist who now hates every religion.

I think Ryl is the one most motivated by Ethical concerns right now which is kind of hilarious given that she’s also the one who agreed to make a Pact with a Dark and Terrible entity that she knows is Bad News based on the idea that it could at least help her get a Dark and Terrible Revenge on some very nasty people. Rose isn’t immoral, just very practical and keen on recovering her quasi-noble status, and Deep is kinda stuck in full-on Survival Mode at all times, like, not considering the morality of anything so much as ‘is this likely to help or hinder my survival’. She’d absolutely eat us if we died in the wilderness and there weren’t better or easier things to eat. That’s what living among lizardfolk does to ya I guess.

It’s fun playing a party of varying sorts of gremlin- tricksy fast-talk gremlin, sneaky urchin gremlin, and blunt survivalist gremlin. I’m having fun playing a character who is emotionally intense but in a different way from Altanin- she’s got like, alllll my rejection-sensitive dysphoria and is more likely to be the sort to grab the collar of a badly injured party member and yell that they’re not allowed to abandon her die just like her brother. She’s kinda the thematic opposite of Altanin- instead of a larger than life born hero who’s flagrantly soft-hearted and open and loving, she’s a sneaky little urchin who’s secretly soft-hearted and desperately lonely but covers that as best she can. Which isn’t especially well despite her high deception skill because I want her to bond with the other PCs :V

Anyhow I’ll probably post updates about how this campaign is going as it continues to go, even though that’s of interest to probably like negative three of you. As such, if you want to block it, the tag remains ‘Jake plays Dungeons and Dragons’.

[snowdice]

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 22)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Janus, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Janus, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Meanwhile, everyone else is trying to find a missing 15 year old, all with different pieces of the puzzle about where he is. It really is too bad that no one is answering their phones.

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned, explosions, car crashes (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 My Master Post

Janus did not respond to Roman’s quip about the car. Instead, he shoved past Roman the second he heard the boy’s voice. Roman recognized the kid immediately from the pictures he’d been sent along with his mission directives.

“Virgil,” Janus said, crossing the room to get to his little brother without regard to anything else. “Thank god. Are you alright?” He grabbed his face and titled it as though to look for injuries. Nothing about what Roman had learned about Janus in the past few hours would have prepared him for the way he descended directly into mother-hen mode, cupping the boy’s face with delicate fingers.

He was even less prepared for when Virgil shoved his hands away with an eye roll and a “I’m fine, Janus,” and Janus immediately started to cry.

Janus pulled Virgil into a hug, and Roman winced in sympathy for Janus’s injured ribs when the kid hugged him back tightly. They should really get that checked out as soon as the two of them had their moment.

“I’ve been worried sick about you,” Janus said, voice all types of wrecked. The past few hours of worry that Janus had kept careful hold of lashed out suddenly, and it was even more than Roman had anticipated. “I showed up to the house, and you were gone, and the window was broken.” Virgil was getting a bit wobbly lipped himself, and Roman couldn’t exactly blame him with how gutted Janus sounded. “Where did you go? How did you get here? How did you know to come here? Did Logan send someone else after you?”

“Dad let the name slip,” Virgil explained, “and Mom sent someone to pick me up, but I’d already accidently heard that she’d killed him with the radio Dad keeps in his room. So, I really didn’t want to go with the man, and he was mean especially when I said no.” His voice cracked a bit as he spoke, and he too started crying. “I didn’t know where to go or what to do. At first, I just wanted to get out of the city so Mom couldn’t find me. Once I was out, I decided to try to get here because dad said he worked with the owner, and no one was answering their phones.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Janus said. “That was my fault. I broke my phone. I should have thought about you wanting to call me.” He pulled back to kiss Virgil ever so gently on the forehead.

“Hey, what gives,” another man said, and Roman blinked and actually looked at the other occupants of the room. Both Dad and Uncle Patton were there along with a man he didn’t recognize. Yet, his attention was quickly drawn to the speaker because that was Remy Gates and Remy was definitely supposed to be dead. “I was dead, and I didn’t even get that much of a heartfelt reunion.” Janus seemed to freeze for a moment and then turned to him.

There was a long almost painful moment of silence where Janus just stared blankly at Remy. Roman recalled the short conversation that Remus and Janus had in the car about Remy and how Janus was probably more upset about the man’s death than he was allowing himself to express. Remus clearly had known what he was talking about, because there was a stunned, surprisingly vulnerable look on Janus’s face as he looked at his brother’s father.

Remy casually put his hands in his pockets. “Sup, kid.”

Roman had never seen someone’s face change so dramatically so quickly. His face twisted up into a scowl and his eyes lit up with fury. He looked like he was about to finish the job for his mother.

“You bastard,” Janus spat. “You bastard, you aren’t even dead?”

Remy seemed unconcerned with the fact that the man was basically foaming at the mouth. “You sound disappointed.”

“Do you know how much stress and hurt you caused… Virgil?!”

“Virgil, huh?” Remy asked, and goodness the man must have a death wish. “Don’t worry, Virgil and I already worked that out. I’m going to teach him how to shoot a gun as an apology.”

“No! You aren’t!” the man next to Remy that Roman didn’t recognize said.

“Like that is a sufficient apology for all that duress! How could you?!

“It wasn’t exactly my plan, Jan,” Remy drawled.

“Remy please,” the man next to Remy said.

“Oh, well, pray tell, what the hell was your plan you absolute ignorant, wretched excuse for a human being?” Janus asked.

“Janus please,” the man said.

“Just let them do it, Uncle Emile,” Virgil said with a sigh.

Remy scoffed. “Oh, please,” he said. “There was no plan, obviously. Do you know me at all?”

Janus full on exploded in rage at that. “What the hell is wrong with you?! Where do you get off on being such an idiot all of the time? You have a 15-year-old child and you just waltz into danger like it’s nothing and almost die! I thought you were dead!”

And like, seriously, Remy really must be comfortable with the concept of his own demise after whatever had happened to him earlier, because all he said was, “What, would you have missed me?”

“No,” Janus said, far too intense for that to be the truth. In fact, tears started to prickle at the corner of his eyes.

“Aw,” Remy cooed, still mocking, but perhaps just a bit gentler now. He walked the couple of steps to Janus and threw an arm around his shoulder. “Don’t cry, kid. I’m okay. I promise.”

“I’m not crying,” Janus insisted even though his voice cracked a bit and the tears were starting to escape out of the corners of his eyes. He attempted to push Remy away, but his efforts were weak and easily resisted. He gave up a moment later. “You’re crying!”

“I’m really not,” Remy said with a chuckle.

“You will be if you don’t shut up and let go of me,” Janus insisted even though when Remy tugged him closer into a proper hug, he folded himself into the embrace like a small child and proceeded to cry into the man’s shoulder.

Well that was… an event. Roman didn’t know what to think about Janus at this point. He’d been cold, calculating, and scary at the beginning of their adventure, and now he was sobbing into a man’s arms.

“Aw, there it is,” said Remus cheerfully.

Janus didn’t look at him, but just pulled one of his arms out of the embrace to flip him off.

“As touching as this is,” Dad interjected. “Now that everyone is here and aware that no one is dead.” He looked specifically in Remus and Roman’s direction. The expression on his face was one Roman was very familiar with from his childhood. Roman grimaced even before Dad continued with, “Would anyone care to explain themselves?” in a dark tone.

Uh oh.

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 23

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being a Wheeler Sister

Wheeler’s x sister!reader

warnings:

a/n: i just have a lot of ideas abt characters finn wolfhard plays dont @ me

prompt:

you were two years older than mike, one year younger than nancy

you like, rarely got along with mike

but at the same time, you were always by his side

“move your legs so i can sit on the couch”

“sit on the la-z-boy”

“are you kidding me, mike? that’s dad’s seat!”

“well, then, sit on the floor with holly”

the bickering was nonstop

it wasn’t any better with nancy

“y/n, did you take my sweater?”

“for the hundredth time, nance, no, i did not. your sweaters are not my style.”

nancy digging around your room anyways

“check mike’s room, you know how he is”

accidentally finding eleven

“uh, hey mike, can i talk to you for a second?” *pulls mike by the arm* “who the hell is that in our basement?!”

helping him with el as much as you could

what? of course you thought of the repercussions

but hawkins was getting boring and this was the most exciting thing of the decade

kind of loving and despising his friends at the same time

the kind of “don’t talk to me or i’ll throw a rock at you” hate but “hey do you guys want a slice of the pizza i brought home” love

mike and nancy teasing you about every single guy that even looked in your direction

as soon as you realized the severity of hiding eleven, it was too late

too far in

but now it was up to you to protect your brother

and his friends

seriously the monsters were hideous

he was gonna be scarred

he had nightmares a lot after the middle school fiasco

you know, where you guys watched like, ten people die and a giant faceless monster attack

you and him took turns sleeping in each other’s rooms for a while

one day the nightmares just stopped

but every once in a while he’d come knocking on your door and just coming in so that he didn’t have to face his dreams alone

being closer with his friends and your family

going to your mom for advice

babysitting holly

comforting mike when he misses el

teasing nancy about steve

seeing right through your sister

you knew she didn’t love him

talking to her about jonathan

“i do not have a crush on him!”

“oh, sure you don’t”

round two of goblin creature hell

“mike, stop being a dick to the new girl”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about, i’m just making sure she doesn’t find out about eleven”

the boys running and screaming like little girls as they swarmed towards you

strategizing

steve and the kids team up had you freaked out

“so, y/n, has nancy mentioned anything to you about me recently? do you know where she is?”

almost feeling bad for him

protecting the kids

“i need to be with my brother!”

trip to the byers home while the rest of the kids investigated

hysterically chatting with joyce about what had been going on recently

helping joyce around the house so she could focus on will

going to save hopper wheeler x byers x newby edition

will collapsing and what you could only deduce as seizing

“what the hell what the hell what the he—”

“y/n! shut up!”

going to the lab and watching the heartbreaking scene

at least will remembered your brother

going protective big sister mode when the power went out

“stay behind me, mikey”

grabbing a gun

“y/n, you don’t know how to use that!”

“i don’t tell you everything, little brother”

retreating to byers home base

chaotic last minute plans

el showing up

knowing exactly how mike felt in that moment

excitement, fear, anger, happiness

you tried to calm him down at first, but hopper pulled him aside

then he had you go into the room

“mike, hey, come here. you gotta understand why hopper did it, okay? he was trying to keep you and everybody safe. eleven was in trouble and she still is, she was safest hidden. but here she is now, and i know your hurting and your heart is broken, but you’re a badass kid, mike. you’re gonna get better.”

he cried on your shoulder and you rocked him back and forth

he gained his composure and ran back out to properly reunite with eleven

shortly after all of this, mike and eleven started dating

you were so proud

he went to you for relationship advice

you were always getting teased for your relationship too, but hey, you were going strong with your boo

him getting a little overly attached to her

“give her some space, baby bro”

girls day mall trip with max and el

mike was piiiissed at you

“y/n, how could you let this happen! you know the rules better than any of us”

giving up on mike’s love life

supporting nancy’s career goals, but trying to be realistic

“nance, it’s not the end of the world if your don’t become a newspaper writer by seventeen”

“i just need a story to blow them all away!”

your s/o getting caught up in some strange things

full girl’s team up to figure out what the hell is going on

el venting about mike

max and you cracking jokes about your brother

“i love mike and all, but he’s just clueless”

mike’s baffling rant and confession leaving him red in the face

you pulled him aside for a mini pep talk

“don’t worry, mikey, you’re not pathetic or anything for loving her. you’ve been with her for a long time and just because everyone else gave you a weird look about it doesn’t mean you should be ashamed about it. just work on not being a dick to her.”

nancy seeing a few cuts and bruises on your face and arms

“y/n, what the hell happened?”

“billy’s flayed.”

not hesitating to chase after the flesh monster that was about to kill your sister

mall trip 2.0

holding your breath while your siblings were in danger and you couldn’t help

crying and tacking them in hugs when it’s all over

of course you loved them, even if they were the most impossible people to live with

[amerrierworld]

Stronger Than Diamonds

Part III of Fiercer than Fire

Pt. 1: x

Pt. 2: x

Summary: Thorin is stubborn, though secretly beginning to crumble under the persuasion of Fili and his comrades. You, however, have no time to worry about his opinion with goblins capturing your friends.

Characters: Fili x fem!reader, Thorin, Company

Word Count: 2,664

Warnings: Goblins

-

You’d lost count of how much you had been sneezing since you had started the hike up the Misty Mountains. Having reluctantly left the blissful haven of Rivendell, you’d been brainstorming options on how best to survive the oncoming storm and encounters you were going to have inside the mountains. Nothing was coming to mind.

Maybe you should’ve stayed behind with Gandalf and joined him as he left Rivendell. But no, you thought, you belonged with the Dwarves. You would see this through to the end, even if it meant facing near death in the mountains.

As you were thinking, your hand gripped Fili’s tighter without realizing and he looked over at you.

“Are you alright?” he asked softly. Your head snapped up and you managed a wry smile at him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just worried, is all. Rivendell was such a nice place compared to- well, everything else we’ve encountered so far.”

Fili chuckled in agreement.

“No need to worry, Y/N. You have me by your side, and the others. In case anything happens, we’ll all have your back.”

You smiled and felt someone staring at you. You looked over your shoulder to find Thorin, once again, glaring at the two of you. Your face fell immediately.

“Maybe not all of you,” you mumbled.

-

Thorin was unhappy. As usual. Though he was content with leaving the wretched Elves behind, he hadn’t expected you and his nephew to grow even closer, defying his orders so blatantly and seemingly enjoying it too.

He was marching, brooding and trying to remind himself why you angered him so, and why you were no match for the Durin family.

The two of you chuckled up ahead and the sound made Thorin’s eyes look up, landing on your hand entwined with Fili’s, walking side by side. It made his blood boil.

“Ah, young love. What a wondrous thing, isn’t it laddie?”

Thorin was startled to find Balin next to him, not realizing the white-haird Dwarf had joined him to interrupt his thoughts. He, too, was looking at you and Fili up ahead.

“I do not know of what you speak,” Thorin retorted gruffly. Balin pressed his lips together in a tight line.

“Come, come, now, Thorin, have you ever seen Fili this happy before? Certainly not with any lass like this.”

Thorin furrowed his brows, ready to argue. “Nonsense. Fili’s been perfectly happy with other courtships. This quest has simply got in the way of that. I’m to make sure one of them continues after we’ve taken back our home.”

Balin raised an eyebrow, much like Dwalin had mastered to do. “Name one.”

Thorin blinked in surprise. His mind raced to respond, not letting down so easily.

“There were plenty of potential suitors. The young noble lass from Ered Luin, ginger.”

“Ran off with one of the stableboys more than once, if I recall correctly.”

“They liked each other.”

“But they didn’t love each other, Thorin.”

Thorin frowned at Balin. “That daughter of one of Dis’ friends, then. The seamstress, they got along just fine.”

Balin laughed. “Oh, aye, but only to ogle other pretty ladies together. She was never interested in Fili, my lad.”

Thorin cast his eyes down in thought. Had he really been so blind to all those suitors?

“Look, Thorin. You are meant to take the throne at Erebor when we reclaim it. And if Fili does become King after you, what harm would having Y/N as Queen do?”

“She’s of the race of Men.”

“Yes, but not the race of Men here. She’s been beyond this world, Thorin. Seen things, learned things that we can hardly imagine. Wouldn’t that be an advantage for Erebor at least?”

Thorin hadn’t thought of it that way. He had never thought of you being an asset to the rebuilding and growth of his kingdom, only a hindrance. He was silent for a moment.

“All I’m saying lad, is that you and I have both seen Fili grow up, and he’s still growing into a fine young Dwarf to this day. We both know that there hasn’t been any other lass that’s made him smile so.”

Thorin looked back towards the two of you ahead of him and Balin. You turned your head to meet his gaze and the smile you had for Fili faded instantly. Something in Thorin’s chest felt heavy after the glare you two shared, something like guilt.

He pushed it aside as rain began to fall. He’d worry about it later.

-

“Y/N! Are you alright?”

“Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?”

“Y/N, wake up! Please.”

“Dwarves, Your Malevolence.”

“Y/N, it’s Fili, please, please wake up. They’ll throw you over or torture you if you don’t.”

“Dwarves?”

“Hm, huh? Fili? My head hurts…”

“We found them on the front porch.”

“It’s me, darling. It’s me, please wake up. Open your eyes.”

“Well, don’t just stand there; search them! Every crack, every crevice.”

Claws were tearing at your skin and pain seared through you. Your eyes flew open and immediately you began fighting back. The stench of goblin filled your senses and you remembered where you were. The blow from falling down from the trap had knocked you unconscious, and blood was dripping down your face. You blinked and shook your head to wake up, struggling against the goblins as they tore off your coat and emptied your pockets.

“What are you doing in these parts? Speak!” The Great Goblin cried out, swinging his staff and staring the Company down.

None said a word, and you wormed your way through all the bodies to stand flush against Fili. His chest was rising rapidly, and your own skin was covered in a cold and terrified sweat. His eyes glanced over to you quickly, and you saw a moment of relief in them, but only briefly.

“Well then, if they will not talk, we’ll make them squawk! Bring out the Mangler! Bring out the Bone Breaker! Start with the youngest.”

He pointed a gnarled finger at Ori, who’s face was one of shock. Nori grabbed his arm and tried to wrestle the army that began grabbing at his younger brother. Thorin stepped forward.

“Wait.”

Everyone halted and turned to him. Thorin took another step forward, blocking Ori and met the Goblin King’s gaze, who looked on in surprise.

“Well, well, well, look who it is. Thorin son of Thrain, son of Thror; King under the Mountain.”

Your eyes were flickering about, stepping even closer to Fili. The goblins were eyeing all of you hungrily. Whether for sport or for a meal, you couldn’t tell.

“Oh, but I’m forgetting, you don’t have a mountain. And you’re not a king. Which makes you nobody, really.” 

“You don’t think goblins like man-meat, do you?” you whispered to Fili, trembling. “I mean, the Trolls were picky about eating you lot, so maybe these won’t wanna eat me.”

“I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A Pale Orc astride a White Warg.”

Fili smirked a little. “I don’t think they’re going to care about what we taste like when they’ve skinned us and hacked us up in pieces, lass.”

You grimaced and nodded weakly.

“Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago,” Thorin was practically spitting the words at the Great Goblin, his hands in fists at his side.

“So you think his defiling days are done, do you?” The Great Goblin chuckled lowly, moving towards a small creepy goblin hanging in a basket. “Send word to the Pale Orc; tell him I have found his prize.”

The tiny messenger goblin was cackling as it left, and your blood ran cold.

“You’ll be pleased to know that your long-term rival is still very much alive,” The Great Goblin snickered. “And your battles against him have meant nothing.”

Thorin visibly sneered and hurled forward as if to attack the giant monstrosity single-handedly.

“Uncle, no!” Fili exclaimed, grabbing Thorin’s arms before he could foolishly attack. You stood close behind him, keeping a hand wrapped around Fili’s upper arm, his presence being the only reassurance to prevent you from going into full panic-mode.

“Uncle, eh?” The Goblin King repeated. “Oh, what a wondrous mistake you’ve made there, King,” he snarled the word, “bringing your own kin into my realm.”

The cackling grew loud around them and echoed in the cave. Your ears hurt from the goblins’ laughter and you held onto Fili firmly. Then, four goblins dashed forward to throw Thorin to the side and seized Fili by a limb each.

The scream that ripped through your chest didn’t sound like it belonged to you, but your throat hurt nonetheless. Fili was struggling, trying to reach for one of his many daggers hidden in his clothes, but the goblins were holding him firmly, tearing through fabric and skin as they hauled him forward.

“So, you’ve managed to have a pathetic little bloodline after all?” The Goblin exclaimed, leaning down a little to examine Fili closely. “Hm, a little thin-looking, but I suppose he’d make a good meal or two for this lot.”

The goblins holding Fili down snickered maniacally. Your face went pale and you tried to reach for him, but Bofur held you back.  They forced him to his knees. One of the larger goblins held up a thick whip with many tails. Cheering ensued around them.

“Whip him til he breaks!” the Goblin screeched. “Make him bleed!”

Your cries mixed with those of the Company, and you managed to worm your way out of Bofur’s grasp as the whip came bearing down.

What happened next was all a blur to you. You were shoving bodies out of the way and hurled yourself over Fili’s crouched figure just as blinding pain coursed through your back. Fili gasped as he felt your body cover your own, turning his torso to catch you protectively.

“What’s this?” The Goblin cried. “A saviour for the pretty little princeling?”

“Y/N, what in Durin’s name are you doing?” Fili whispered raggedly in your ear. The goblin was rearing to slash the whip across your back again and you looked him in the eyes.

“Protecting you,” you whispered back. Your hand trailed over his cheek, damp with sweat, before reaching into his coat and grabbing one of his many hidden daggers.

Before the goblin could strike again, your blade was in his throat and he dropped the whip before the goblins could register what had happened.

“What?” The Goblin King was infuriated as goblins began falling at your hand, your battle skills having improved thanks to the Company’s lessons. “No! Slash them! Beat them! Kill them! Kill them all! Cut off his head!”

Your back was in pain, but adrenalin got the better of you. The Dwarves sprung into action as you began fighting back, grabbing their weapons and attacking the goblin army who were caught off guard.

Then, a blinding light threw all of you down on the floor. You yelled at the pain as you landed on your back, but relief spread through you as you made out Gandalf’s figure approaching the group, staff and Glamdring in hand.

A hand grabbed you by the bicep and hauled you up to your feet. You were surprised to find Thorin getting you up and ushering you down the rickety bridges, following the Wizard as the lot of you sprinted for your lives.

-

Somehow, you were still alive. The blood had become crusty on your back and your head was spinning from flying so high in the air.

You remembered vaguely what had happened after Goblin town. Bilbo had come back, you all rejoiced at the sight. But Azog sent you all running up into the trees. Fili had held onto you like a lifeline as your loss of blood began weakening you even more. Your vision had blurred when the fires began.

You recalled Bilbo running to save Thorin, and then you were being supported by Bofur as Dwalin, Fili and Kili all jumped into battle to fight against the Wargs.

Then everything had gone dark. Until Gandalf brought you back.

“Now now, lass, we need to take a look at those wounds.”

You waved Oin away, leaning heavily against Fili. “No, not until we get off this rock.”

“You were brave,” Fili whispered softly at you. “You saved my life, but you’re in no state to climb down yet.”

“I’m fine, Fili.”

“No, you’re not,” Thorin spoke up. “Do as Oin says. We have no time to wait for your stubbornness.”

Despite his kind words to Bilbo not mere minutes ago, his attitude was once again harsh and crisp towards you. You saw Fili’s eyes harden and he gently lowered you to sit on the ground as he marched towards his uncle.

“Her stubbornness may have saved all our lives in those caves, Uncle,” Fili said defiantly. You blinked in surprise. His tone had lowered menacingly and he didn’t waver one bit.

“She has tried time and time again to meet your approval!” your love continued. “And yet, even on the brink of death, you still cannot bring yourself to take a liking to her?”

“Fili-,” Thorin began.

“She has done more for this Company than any of us! And for what?”

“Fili…”

“Erebor isn’t her home, and yet she still comes with us. She owes us no allegiance, and yet she still fights for us! She puts up with all the foul words you throw at her, right up to the moment where she could die, saving my skin! Why would she do any such things when you still treat her like vermin?”

“Because she loves you, Fili.”

Fili froze mid-rant. He tended to ramble when passionate about something, you remembered fondly. You stared as the King Under the Mountain looked past his nephew at you. You clambered to your feet as he came closer to meet him at his height.

“I am realizing many things, Y/N. I realize that Hobbits may be more stubborn than us Durinfolk, and that the dead still live.” He paused a moment and his eyes flickered to the ground. “And I also realize that I was wrong about your intentions with my nephew.”

Your ears couldn’t believe what they were hearing. You stared at Thorin, dumbfounded at his confessions.

“I apologize it took me so long,” he apologized! “and that it took a brave but foolish action on your behalf to make me see that, truly, the two of you were destined for each other.”

Fili had rejoined your side and your hand squeezed his tightly, both for support and in disbelief.

“What are you saying, Uncle?”

“I’m saying that I give my blessing to your courtship. Though I hardly think that would’ve stopped the two of you from getting married anyway.”

You grinned at that, because it probably was true. “Thank you, Thorin.”

You wanted to scream, celebrate and cry all at once, but you slumped against Fili in exhaustion. All your resources were almost spent. Fili wrapped an arm around you.

“Let’s get you fixed up, love,” he murmured before looking back up at Thorin. “But, Uncle, all the things you said. The traditions we’ve had, the expectations of me as crown prince…”

Thorin rested a hand on Fili’s shoulder and smiled. “Let me deal with that when the time comes, Fili. None will stand in the way of me and my family’s happiness. Even old laws and their rules.”

Fili smiled and tears formed in his eyes. The two Dwarves pressed their foreheads together for a moment before he picked you up in his arms and lead you to Oin and Gandalf, promising to take care of you from now on until the end.

-

So! I promised this third and final part a very, very, very long time ago, and many of you had asked for it back then. Then I disappeared and never looked at Tumblr for years, up until now. I’m beyond sorry for not writing for so long, and I hope I’ve made it up to you with this. Let me know what you think, or if you want to see me write more. Even after all these years I’ll always come back to Middle-Earth and their stories.

[lurafita]

SIM Tony / Peter, Part 4

Read part 1 here

Read part 2 here

Read part 3 here

I hadn’t planned on updating this so soon after the last part, but I got inspired.

Alright people, things are going to start getting real from here on out. Tony’s new ‘Superior’ mode makes an entrance. I don’t know exactly how many parts I’m gonna do for this before I find a point at which I can call it finished, but just know that from here on out, the plot is gonna spice up.

From here on out, Tony will be Superior Iron Man, and while I will probably deviate in his characterization from most other stories that feature SIM Tony (mostly in the way he treats Peter), he will get dark. He will be manipulative, possessive and ruthless. Violent (never to Peter though, I can’t write physically abusive relationships and don’t want to), dominant and dismissive to other people (aside from Peter, because as you must know by now, I just can’t be too mean to Peter).

Tony Stark had had his insecurities over the years, but he had never realized just how truly lacking he had been before.

Before his transformation, before his new suit, before his new.... him. Everything was so much better now. So much stronger. So much more.

It was as if he had awoken from a life long sleep. Truly alive for the first time ever. And it felt glorious. He wondered if it was the same for Peter, after the spider bite had changed his DNA. This feeling of rightness.

He was reborn.

He was...

Superior.

He admired his reflection in the floor to ceiling windows of his laboratory. His hair, that had been peppered with grey spots before, was a rich black now. While he had always been fit, his physique had changed slightly as well, making him stronger, broader. No more wrinkles on his handsome face. Extremis had knocked off what felt like a good twenty years from his body. He was in the prime of his life.

Another thing that was new was his eye color. Instead of the previous dark brown, his eyes now bore a cold but fierce blue. It wasn’t like he minded the change, but he had always been a bit partial to his brown eyes. They had reminded him of his mother. Though to be honest, hers had been a little lighter than his. More of a honey brown, than his previous dark coffee tone. It didn’t matter though. The icy blue was very becoming, and there was someone else whose honey brown eyes he would be able to stare into very soon.

A low groan had his gaze drift to the ground some feet behind him, where Curt Conner and Otto Octavious were currently lying in their containment cells.

Breaking the two former scientists out of the Raft had been easy, but taken a lot longer than Tony had liked. Timing had been crucial, and so the planning had been meticulous and followed down to the very second.

Acquiring Venom had been just slightly more tricky, but nothing was impossible for a man like Tony Stark. (Even his previous, inferior, self.)

Then the experimentation had started. Each of the villains had unique strengths and abilities, that the billionaire wanted for himself. The perfect melding of two species and regenerative factor from Conners, though preferably without the monster make-over. The harmonic symbiosis of the human body and machine from Octavious, though Tony had no desire for the frankly gaudy looking appendages. And the fluidity and shapeability of Venom’s armor and other perks, but without the alien taking over the genius’ mind.

Two days of panning for the acquisition of the three villains, followed by four days of experimentation on his subjects to find out how it all worked. Tony could only smirk derisively when remembering how much his previous self had loathed the process. Tony had never been as much of a believer in second chances as Peter was, but he had been against human experimentation and torture. In the beginning, Tony had tried to keep any pain to an absolute minimum, had tried to be as respectful to whatever remained of his subjects humanity as possible, even though he would never forgive them for the torment they had inflicted upon his love.

But when things had reached the finish line, as he had extracted and recreated what he needed from them, as Extremis had absorbed and subjugated Venom and combined everything together to mold it all to Tony’s body, he had known that his previous reservations had been needless. These creatures didn’t deserve any consideration or mercy from him. Whatever pain had been inflicted on them had been warranted. So what if extracting the genetic code to their mutations had fried their pathetic little minds? It was nothing that Tony Stark should need to concern himself with.

Foolish sentimentality and redundant human morals might be cute for Peter, but they should never limit him.

Speaking of Peter, it was time that the new and improved Tony went to fetch his sweetheart. Six days, though unfortunately necessary, had been far too long to be separated from his love.

“Jarvis, take two suits and transport the garbage to the warehouse I have prepared. Then send an anonymous tip to Shield, so that they can collect them.”

“Yes, Sir.”

The monotone, taciturn answer of his A.I. brought another grin to Tony’s face. Jarvis attempts to caution and dissuade him from his plans to improve himself had not sat well with him. After all, the A.I. was just that, an artificial intelligence programmed by him (well, his former and weaker self), to assist and serve him. He had appreciated neither the sarcasm, nor the way that Jarvis tried to lecture him about the possible dangers his transformation might bring.

It was yet another piece of evidence that showed how fucking weak he had been before. The old Tony had programmed his A.I. specifically to back talk and supervise him, to make sure he wouldn’t cross a line he couldn’t un-cross. To keep himself humble.

Pathetic.

The only kind of sassy mannerisms he would tolerate in his life came from a certain spidery hero.

As the two suits now carrying the all but brain dead men inside them flew away from the tower, Tony let his Endo-Sym armor encase his body. He watched with smug satisfaction as the silver cells flowed like water over his form and solidified into a nearly unbreakable shell. No verbal or manual commands required. The armor was a part of him now, reacting to his will alone.

“Find my sweetheart, Jarvis.”

Six days since they had last spoken, and Peter had left the tower in tears. But Tony would rectify it all now. He was better now.

The window in front of him opened and he lifted off the floor, his new suit capable of storing and using electric and psionic energy for flight easily.

A miniature map of the city appeared on the transparent shield in front of his eyes (why deprive the people of his handsome face with a helmet, after all. Also, the silver armor complimented his blue eyes marvelously). A little dot blinked rapidly right at the docks.

“Camera footage and public reports indicate that Spiderman is currently engaged in a fight with the Green Goblin at this location, Sir.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed. He hadn’t expected to be dealing with the Goblin this soon, but he was not about to let Harry fucking Osborn hurt his love any more. Feeding more power into his thrusters, he sped to the harbor.

-

Peter hadn’t managed to dodge the last bomb his former best friend had thrown completely, and was knocked out of the sky from the explosion. The noise and flash of it was hell on his enhanced senses, disorienting him as he fell to the ground, unable to catch himself with his webs.

The hard impact punched the breath out of him, and he felt his ribs crack.

Possibly broken, but he couldn’t worry about that right now, he needed all his concentration to be fixed on Harry if he wanted to win this.

Ignore the pain.

Danger!

He propped himself up and off just in time to avoid the knife aimed at his jugular, but not quick enough to escape it all together, as the blade sliced a small gash along his arm.

Since when does Harry use throwing knifes?!

“What’s the matter, Spiderman? A little on the slow side today?” Harry cackled above him, spinning around on his glider and readying himself for his next attack.

Harry was right, though. Their fight had dragged on too long already, with Peter having to lure his nemesis out to the docks to avoid civilian causalities. As the adrenaline that had kept him on his toes at first was ebbing away, the exhaustion of the last few days started catching up to the young hero anew. Even with the help of his spider-sense, Peter’s movements were starting to get sluggish.

Ignore it.

The number of hits he had taken was rising at a rapid count.

Ignore it.

The constant explosions from Harry’s bombs was playing havoc on his senses.

Ignore it.

“No funny little quips today, Spiderman? No ‘You don’t want to do this, Harry.’?”

His breaths came in harsh pants, he had no air to spare for words.

Danger!

A jump to the right saved him from the full force of another small bomb, but brought him closer to the water, and away from any buildings to climb or attach his webs to.

If there even was any left in his shooters.

Ignore it.

Harry’s mutated, twisted face grinned down at him. “Tired already, Pete? But we are just getting started!”

Danger! Danger! Danger!

This time it wasn’t just one, but five of the miniature bombs that the Goblin threw down at him. Peter let instincts and spidey-sense take control as his body weaved through the explosions. But it was too much.

There were too many. Too close.

He was too hurt. Too exhausted.

Ignore it!

He couldn’t.

DangerDangerDANGER!

Too slow.

The bomb detonated right at his feet, throwing him back through the air, weightless for an endless second, before he was swallowed up by the cold embrace of the ocean’s water.

Move. Move, dammit! Swim up! You still have a job to do! Fucking fight!

He tried. But his limbs felt cold and numb, and the water kept dragging him down.

I’m sorry.

Just as the darkness was starting to creep in around the edges, he heard some kind of big splash. He tried turning to the sound, but moving hurt. Everything hurt.

So this is it, then.

Just as they had constantly during the last six days, Peter’s thoughts turned to the man he loved.

I’m so sorry, Tony.

The last thing he saw before unconsciousness set in, was a pair of ice blue eyes.

_____________________________________________________________

Hui.

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frenchfrostpudding

  alanaaw88

[frasier-crane-style]

oKAY, I got a few Redbox rental for my birthday, so I decided to pick up Spider-Man: Far From Home, skip all the Disney Channel Original Movie stuff, and see how it stacks up as a pure Spider-Man movie. Which is not easy, because they’re in full Marvel movie mode, and every two minutes there’s a wacky aside or a sight gag or something. It’s not even Peter making jokes, which would be in-character. It’s just banter about Happy’s password being Password and stuff. There’s not one wholly dramatic scene in this movie, it has this Epic Movie sense of humor where something ‘hilarious’ is always defusing the tension. Like, all that’s missing is Leslie Nielsen being the tour guide.

1. Mexico. Mysterio has used ‘Sandman’ (confusingly referred to as a ‘cyclone with a face’--and then Spider-Man never even fights him) to destroy a town. I gotta say--if Mysterio has the ability to pull off no-bullshit terror attacks... yeah, the Sandman is fake, but the damage is real... why not just do that? It seems like there are a ton of evil organizations who would pay him loads of money.

2. Also, Mysterio is really not shy about lowering the dome and showing his face. Wouldn’t a quick facial recognition scan, of the kind that you’d think Nick Fury would run all the time, ID him as Quentin Beck? And even if he’s going “hey, that’s my double, I’m from an alternate universe,” shouldn’t Nick Fury be a bit suspicious that the double of this mysterious new superhero is a disgruntled and unstable Stark employee?

3. By the way, I know the twist is that Nick Fury is really a Skrull and that’s why he’s so incompetent--telling Peter to take his mask off in front of fucking Mysterio--but Nick Fury left a Skrull playing him, so... who’s that on? You’d think any given Agent of SHIELD would do better.

4. First action scene. Hydroman attacks Venice and is defeated by Mysterio, with Spider-Man slightly assisting. He’s left his costume back at the hotel, so he does this while using a Venetian mask to disguise himself. Hilariously, he quickly takes this off to, yes, show us his face. (Also, I guess no one notices that Not!Spider-Man is wearing the exact same clothes and has the exact same body type as Peter.) He also doesn’t make any quips besides referring to himself as “really strong and sticky.” Being awkward is not a one-liner, movie. 

5. Also, others have pointed out that this Spider-Man seems more concerned about saving property than saving lives, and it must be said that for much of this fight, Peter is trying to stop a belltower from collapsing, with no sign that he’s buying time for people to evacuate it or anything. Sure, it’s a worthy goal and all, but I have to ask how much good patching a belltower up with webbing is going to do? It’ll dissolve in an hour and then where are you? Does he really think the authorities will be able to fix it up before then? Seems like he would be better served letting it collapse and attacking Hydroman to keep him from doing more damage.

6. You ever notice how movie characters always refer to sleeping pills and such as ‘a mild sedative’? Naut Fury shoots Ned/Ganke with a dart that instantly knocks him out, then calls it “a mild tranquilizer.” Christ, what would a strong tranquilizer do, put him in a coma for ten years?

7. Man, it’s weird how inconsistent this movie is with basic characterization. Peter turns down saving the world because Spider-Man being seen in Europe might give away his identity, but he’s also blase about taking off his mask in front of Nick Fury and co. And Tom Holland walking around unmasked really makes it obvious that his suit is a CGI effect that his head is awkwardly hovering on top of. I guess just putting someone in a costume is a lost art.

And I’m not even watching this on Blu-Ray. This is a DVD, because Redbox is shit and, even though their e-mail said the promo code was good for a Blu-Ray, apparently I can only use it for a DVD. Thanks, thanks for ruining my special day. Prats.

8. I know the whole EDITH thing has been meta’d elsewhere, but I just want to point out that Stark Enterprises has a ‘global defense network’. With drones and backdoors into every telecommunications company. Imagine if Microsoft announced that, oh, hey, we have a Panzer division. I guess Stark Enterprises is a PMC now? I thought they went into clean energy. Apparently they still make weapons, but now they... hoard them to use for their own purposes? Not creepy at all. Like, Marvel does realize they are writing an evil megacorporation here, right?

9. Oh, now we’re just getting aggressively stupid. Peter is met by a SHIELD agent who insists that he strip to change into an alternate, non-Spider-Man suit (so I guess, after an action scene where he’s in civilian clothes, now we’re going to get one where he’s in this spy costume. Yeah, I hate seeing Spider-Man in a Spider-Man movie.) I’m not sure why he has to do this now instead of simply putting the suit in his backpack. I’m also not sure why he has to strip in front of her. He doesn’t even try to go somewhere private to change and she doesn’t say anything like “Why are you taking off your clothes in front of me like a retard? Go around the corner or something, fuckwit.” It’s all to set up a scene where Peter gets seen by his (sigh) rival for MJ’s heart, who takes a cell phone picture, leading us to... well, leading me to wonder why they couldn’t have put a little more thought into staging this scene so it was slightly believable? Like he could have trouble putting it on in private, the female agent could go to check on him, and Random Non-canon Character could stumble in on them that way. But anyway.

10. With literally insane ease, Peter designates Brad a target and EDITH launches a drone strike on him. For various ridiculous reasons, Peter can’t just say abort, so he eventually distracts EVERYONE by saying there are baby mountain goats, webs the drone while no one is looking, and--that works. No one notices.

Man, that’s some fucking weaksauce.

11. I’m fast-forwarding a bunch, but we seem to spend a lot of time on Peter trying to get his friends out of harm’s way for the upcoming fight scene in Prague, only for them to end up in harm’s way. For the second action sequence in a row. It seems like he could’ve succeeded and then just been trying to rescue normal civilians instead of people he knows personally, but then I guess we couldn’t have Ned and Betty/Gwen providing odious comic relief every other moment. Like, shit, Marvel, if you like dumb jokes so much, why don’t you just get Mike and the Bots to riff your movie? That’s pretty much what you’re doing anyway.

12. Peter’s new costume has no fingers on the gloves, so he’s leaving his prints everywhere. And then after the fight is over, the first thing he does is unmask and go out to get a drink with an also unmasked Mysterio in a crowded bar (hilariously, it literally turns out to be full of enemies who mean him harm). Jesus, movie, does he care about his secret identity or not? 

13. Also, again, no quips from Spider-Man. And I thought the watchword for this corner of the MCU was that he was a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Now he’s fighting giant monsters? Yeah, even if it’s a con job, it’s a con job that could potentially kill millions of people. Doesn’t that seem like absurdly high stakes, considering? Remember the first Spider-Man movie, when the only stakes at the climax were Peter saving a bus full of kids and MJ? Would that really have been better if there’d been another five million buses the Green Goblin was threatening to drop?

14. We’re doing the whole “does Peter want to be Spider-Man or not?” story again. It’s weird how markedly inferior this take on that is to Spider-Man 2. This Spider-Man has a whole spy network and AI satellites backing him up (which doesn’t stop him from remarking that Mysterio is “the only one he can talk to about superhero stuff,” as if fifty people don’t know who he is). Maguire’s Spider-Man’s life was genuinely shitty because of his superheroing; he couldn’t be with the woman he loved! This Spider-Man... can’t mack on the girl that he inexplicably has a crush on out of nowhere. Not exactly the stuff of great drama.

15. Pause to point out what a naked plot device Tony giving Peter EDITH is. He couldn’t give it to Pepper? Rhodey? Steve? Like... anyone who’s more emotionally mature and experienced? It’s just a ridiculous conceit. Supervillains literally target Peter specifically because he possesses EDITH. Way to put the crosshairs on a sixteen-year-old boy, Tony ‘Depraved Indifference’ Stark.

16. “To my very wealthy crew!” Okay, so I guess Beck isn’t just doing this for the satisfaction of being a fake superhero, he sees this as enriching him and his henchmen somehow? How? It’s not like Captain America or Scarlet Witch are fabulously wealthy. I could see Stark as paying for their room and board and giving them an expense account, but that doesn’t seem worth going to the trouble of this whole Mysterio business for. Like I said, once you have the power to pull off fake/not-fake terror attacks, that’s a golden ticket already. Why couldn’t he do shit like Le Chiffre was doing in Casino Royale, playing the stock market with his fake catastrophes? 

16a. And okay, so you say the whole Mysterio thing was just to con EDITH off of Peter. If they’re already able to pull off these terror attacks, how much more can EDITH do for them? It’s like, you already have essentially unlimited resources as far as the story’s concerned--why do you need EVEN MORE unlimited resources?

16b. And is Mysterio going to be a real superhero or fake? Like, is he potentially going to fight Thanos or someone? Because if he is, the whole Elemental thing seems like an unnecessary risk. Just find some HYDRA guys, go to town on them, bang, you’re a superhero. And if you’re going to be a fake Avenger--well, what do you do when Thanos shows up? Call in sick?

17. So in his new, definitely Miles Morales suit, Peter has the ability to send out a destructive electric charge. A venom blast. He has a venom blast. Man, they’re not even trying to hide that this is white Miles Morales, are they? 

18. To damn with faint praise, I thought the drone swarm was a good ‘real-world’ explanation of Mysterio’s power set and the ‘nightmare’ sequence was a good use of them, although it’s just the usual hallucinatory imagery you’d expect from someone with an illusion gimmick, not something as groundbreaking as the Raimi movies offered. Coincidentally, this is also the one action sequence in the movie where Peter’s in his classic costume, and that’s only an illusion Mysterio puts over his dumb Night Monkey suit. 

I also think Peter being able to survive being hit by a train more or less uninjured--he just needs a few stitches!--is a bit much, but then, that happened in Spider-Man 2.5 as well. And there they made a big deal of Peter and Ock trying to avoid getting hit by trains, so arguably that was more egregious. 

And it’s weird to have such a self-aware, genre-savvy villain just assume Peter is dead. It seems like he could’ve at least sent someone to the next station to confirm his death, or even had someone waiting there, if his plan all along was to hit Peter with a train. (Also, I’m pretty sure train conductors stop the train when they hit someone, but maybe that’s only an American thing.)

19. By the end, Mysterio decides to drop the whole illusion thing to frame Spider-Man for the drones (Peter’s friends are also put in danger yet again. Three times in one movie! That’s basically every action sequence that really happens!). I’d think disorienting people with invisible drones would be an advantage you wouldn’t want to just get rid of, but he’s the supervillain, not me. Noticeably, this plan hinges on him dying and posthumously ruining Spider-Man’s life, so...

20. Also, I complained about this with Captain Marvel, but if you’re doing a two-hour movie with a supposed character arc for Peter, shouldn’t that have something to do with him winning? He pretty much only wins because the power of spider-sense which he arbitrarily received arbitrarily works for him after arbitrarily not working for a while... and if this is some kind of confidence-powered superpowers, I should note that Spider-Man 2 already did Peter losing his powers because of losing confidence and it depicted him getting them back much more effectively. This Peter I guess only needs a pep talk from Happy Hogan.

21. I mean, couldn’t they bullshit something about hacking EDITH--you know, Peter using his wits since that’s what supposedly makes him ‘the next Iron Man’--maybe turning the tables on Mysterio with a con job of his own, instead of just winning because he happens to have an illusion-proof superpower on top of a billion-dollar supersuit and a literal global defense network? Spider-Man has a global defense network, y’all. How can you lambaste Man of Steel for making Superman dark and broody and then think Iron Man Peter Parker is a good take on the character? Geez.

[bbrandy2002]

The Diary of Riley Brooks

Entry Two

Wacky Drabble #8: Help me with this, would you?

Coincides with TRH Chapter 13

Some strong Language

Characters belong to Pixelberry

Drabbler Tags: @emceesynonymroll @burnsoslow @sirbeepsalot @jovialyouthmusic @romanticatheart-posts @stopforamoment @dcbbw @jessiembruno @katedrakeohd

Additional tags; I have no idea who is on my permanent tags list anymore😬 I didnt exactly keep up with it 😭 I'll do better. So please let me know so I can get that sorted out.

@ao719 @hopefulmoonobject

September 7

I'm having a baby!

As I sit here trying to let that statement fully sink in, I think about where I was just one year ago today.

I had always dreamt of meeting my Prince Charming, never really expecting to find him. Liam made me realize that fairy tales do exist and sometimes wishes do come true. That sounds so cliche, yet, I don't know any other way to describe what we share together.

He is my heartbeat, my every breath, my reason for existing. Our love is built on passion and longing, his touch excites me and his very presence heats my core. Our bodies joined together, whether fierce or gentle, is pure, unadulterated magic. Liam is my warmth and sincerity, my goodness and truth.

In the depths of my belly, I am carrying the greatest symbol of that love, a part of him and a part of me, a tiny creature that will forever bring us joy.

I spent much of the reception, anxious to find out if I was indeed pregnant. As I wrote yesterday, Savannah admitted to taking a pregnancy test, as well. For whatever reason, possibly one I don't want to ever know, she placed her negative test in the bathroom drawer. Due to Madeleine's incompetence and unwanted presence for this event, she, too, put my test in the drawer. Is there some kind of weird Cordonian tradition I am unaware of that says these test work better in drawers? And why did Savannah leave hers in there? The damn thing was negative. In light of his objection, I have a strong feeling, Mr. Chuck knows more than he is letting on.

Freaked the hell out by Savannah, I knew then, I was the one who was pregnant. I needed air and a moment to think, far away from all the yee-haw bullshit. I sent Liam a text, asking him to meet me in a clearing by the house, I had a surprise for him. Within seconds, he approaches me with a flirtatious smile, looking as if he was ready to fuck me six ways from Sunday. I love that man and I'm always more than willing to participate in his freakish, outdoor sex fetish, but, this wasn't what I had in mind.

After I tell him we are a having a baby, he sweeps me up in his arms, gently placing me back to the ground. His happiness was written all over his face, until it wasn't. He went into Liam mode, panicking about the need to baby proof every room at the Palace and Valtoria. As much as I loved his cute response, I wanted tears dammit. I wanted him on his knees, crying his eyes out, unable to talk, worshipping my stomach. Mick Jagger said you can't always get what you want, but, sometimes you get what you need....well, I needed a sobbing, shaking Liam, is that too much to ask?

We discuss when to tell our friends and because I'm a petty, evil bitch, I decide we should tell them right in the middle of Savannah and Bertrand's reception. You propose at my wedding, I announce the equivalent of the second coming, in the form of my sacred child, at yours. I couldn't care less for the rest of the wedding attendees, but, seeing Hana, Drake, Maxwell and Bertrand delight in our news was exciting.

Afterwards, Liam wants to celebrate in private, which means, we might talk some, but, he still has every intention of getting off tonight. We head upstairs and I was correct in my assumption, he wants to celebrate making the baby by doing what we did to make it. He is a wet panty dropper for sure. And while some ride Harley's and horses, I propped my little pregnant ass on my own stallion and rode him hard. If Barthelemy weren't already out of his coma, me screaming Liam's name when I climaxed, would have awakened the old coot for sure.

If my panties weren't already off, after he sang a lullaby to our baby, that for sure would have melted them away. If he keeps this up, we'll have our own 20 Kids and Counting reality show.

I should have stayed in fucking bed this morning. At breakfast, Bertrand greeted us in kind, while Stick-It-In-A-Drawer Savannah, reminded us all that we are not at court. Why is she still here and not on her honeymoon? Then Leona tells me I can't have a cup of coffee....bitch, I was downing shots like no tomorrow just three days ago with Liv and Hana in Auvernal. This queen will drink a cup of coffee if she damn well pleases. My baby is probably going to come out with two heads.

Like the lovable, little genius he is, Maxwell suggests everyone buys the baby a gift. Guess who further suggested we get these gifts from the local country general store? The same damn place that was using a priceless saddle as a fucking hat holder. I can't even write her name anymore. I have to wonder, why I have been playing second fiddle on Hee-Haw Hell to her during this trip.

So the gang and I pack into our vehicle and head back to said store, where I can share with all of Cordonia that the royal crib was purchased at Wild Chester's Gear and Steer on Bootleg Road. I watched Maxwell fawn over socks, Hana recreated painful memories of lonely tea parties, and Drake...well, Drake's little wooden horse was quite adorable.

I get a call from Olivia, who somehow managed to escape earlier from this shithole than I did. I thought we were amigas now Liv? She actually cried when I told her Liam and I were expecting. I don't know what the hell she is doing in my bedroom, but, if Livvie needs something there, I'm more than happy to help a girl out. She asked me for the most valuable thing in my room, I lied to her and told her it was the royal sceptre. If she only knew the value of the dildo I had in my nightstand....that better be exactly where I left it when I get back.

Back at the ranch, Liam says the five most beautiful, glorious words I have been waiting to here for weeks.....We're almost ready to go....Hot Damn!

Bianca asked me if I thought I could get away without saying goodbye...I already knew the answer was, no. If she only knew how hard I tried about twenty times since arriving to cut tail and run. And damn that heartless, nazi, Leona, she for real dissed my husband! Bitch, I will snap you in half over Liam.

Just when I think I'm finally in the clear, who in the blue fuck put me on a plane for the next 10 hours with Frick, Frack and Kiara?

Liam, I love you, but, damn you! I'm nauseous, tired, moody, and pissing buckets every 10 minutes, carrying your child, and you thought this was a good idea.

I blame pregnancy brain for my decision to tell these three our big news. I'm not the greatest at charades, Im not even the smartest person in the world, but, I swear to God, these three may quite possibly be the dumbest morons I have ever met. They guessed I was full, I was bloated, gluttony.....fucking gluttony???? Yes Penelope, the big news I wanted to share with you is I'm a glutton. Maybe a glutton for punishment, deciding to interact with you three. More guesses included, American Football, and a common pirate jig....one of these women is an ambassador and the other my communications director. I'm a waitress from Brooklyn, and my word, I'm truly baffled by the sheer stupididy I had just witnessed. I turned to Liam, pleading with my eyes, help me with this, would you?

As bad as those three were, out of no where, the most incompetant, security guard on this planet, appears right before me. I didn't have time to worry about her, because apparently, the bane of my existence just scheduled a press conference to announce my pregnancy. I haven't seen a doctor to even confirm yet, what the hell Madeleine. One of these days, I am gonna beat that green goblin's ass down.

Cordonia, I'm on my way and can't be there soon enough.

Riley