#i mean shes been using the excuse to sleep at her gf's but still

[everythingwasnormalhere]

never getting over princess kenny being the greatest style shipper ever

dude she's literally letting a guy sleep on her husband's bed she slays so hard

[louisisalarrie]

Hey there. I have a Eleanor related ask. Forgive me!!! I’ve not been in the fandom as long as some of you. I know E was seen as a ‘stunt’ but why do you think he supposedly went ‘back’ to her the second time. They were ‘together’ 4 years initially (I think) then split, then the whole Briana s*it, which let’s face it even if Louis did sleep with her was a one night drunken mistake, definitely not a relationship. Then Danielle, then back to E who L was then ‘with’ for another 4 or 5 years. Stunt or no stunt, why did they even get back together? Has L ever given any response to that? And what were the theories in the fandom at that time?

When they ‘split’ again in 2022 or was it ‘23, it was to do with L touring and them not spending time together, is that right? But I don’t get why she couldn’t just join him on tour. She doesn’t seem to work so what was the issue?

Sorry if these are silly questions. I’m just not as informed as many of you!

Hello anon!!! Don’t be sorry, lovely to have you here and welcome!!

The general consensus that I’ve seen, is that Eleanor well… seems to be the most reliable and lowkey stunt to keep coming back. I mean, louis and her have been “on and off” since 2011, they’ve built somewhat of a rapport (albeit begrudgingly due to their circumstances) and she’s just pretty unproblematic. It also is an attempt to keep up Louis’ long term gf vibes which were assigned to him back in 2011.

Louis and Harry were very clearly given very undeniable roles to keep them closeted from 2011. How could Harry, a womaniser, and Louis, who is a romantic and in a long term “serious” het relationship, possibly be linked? Two ends of the spectrum to keep them far enough away from each other as possible.

The whole “we can’t be together because im touring” thing is just bullshit, too. If you wanna make it work, you make it work. He’s got enough money to fly her out to every show. She can go out every once in a while, still model or be an influencer or whatever on the side, and they can still make it work. People do this with people they love. You can find a way. But it’s a classic excuse that has been used for artists breaking up with their partners for yeeaarrss.

So it’s an easy cop out, that leaves little room for argument, and still somewhat validates that she is serious and succeeding with her modelling/influencer career, and makes it look all very considerate and adult between the two of them. An answer to the breakup that’s like “we fell out of love” puts a much harder end to the relationship and makes it harder to bring her back when need be. Every gf since bbg has been to get him away from B, and then getting back with E makes it seem like he’s over his party days and is stable and grown up.

But then they broke up but they’re not “out of love”, because if that’s the case… who are Louis’ songs about?

So yeah. If you wanna check out more Elounor stuff, I would highly recommend going to this tag by skepticalarrie, and while you’re there, head to the pinned post and go through the links that will give you everything you need to know to get up to speed with what these last 13 years of chaos have all been about xx

[aparticularbandit]

For Fake: Chapter One

Summary: America lied about having a girlfriend to get her moms off her back, but when they want to meet said girlfriend, she asks her good friend Viv to step in and help.

prompted by this post.

Viv Vision/America Chavez

Chapter Rating: G. Fic Rating: T.

AO3

next chapter

punchesstars: so remember how my moms used to bug me about a gf notanandroid: Yes. punchesstars: and remember how they stopped notanandroid: Yes. punchesstars: so i might have told them i have one notanandroid: One what? punchesstars: a gf notanandroid: Oh. notanandroid: That sounds reasonable. punchesstars: yeah but they want my gf to come over punchesstars: for the holidays or something notanandroid: But you do not have a girlfriend. punchesstars: yeah punchesstars: i know punchesstars: u wanna be my gf? punchesstars: for fake punchesstars: so my moms don’t bug me again

punchesstars: viv? u there? notanandroid: Yes. notanandroid: I apologize. notanandroid: I was busy. punchesstars: u can say no punchesstars: ur better than marvel tho punchesstars: at the faking bit notanandroid: Can you not tell them your girlfriend is busy? punchesstars: i tried punchesstars: they said my gf could pick the date punchesstars: they r very insistent notanandroid: It is the holidays.  Is that not a good enough excuse? punchesstars: no punchesstars: uv never met my moms notanandroid: Let me sleep on it. punchesstars: u sleep????

~

Viv shuts her phone off, tucks it beneath her pillow, and leans flat on her back to stare up at the ceiling.  Technically speaking, she doesn’t need a cell phone; she’s set up to connect to both incoming calls and texts.  But there’s something familiar about having a separate phone and a separate phone number from the one implanted in her skull.  She likes having the texts on an external visual plane, and she likes not having every word on a call thrumming through her mind, and she especially likes not having unread texts sitting in the back of her mind like trash she’s forgotten to take out.  Her father doesn’t approve, but then he doesn’t text – and he was created in a time before cellular phones even existed, so what does he know?

Not that any of this particularly matters, in the grand scheme of things.  Her internal processors still record her every moment, including the calls she gets from an external phone, including her visuals of any texts she receives or sends out.  In some ways, this is good; it means her memory is much more concrete than that of any of her friends.  In others, it isn’t; it means that in particularly troubling situations, she has absolutely no privacy.  She can keep nothing hidden from anyone who might have reason to demand access to her memories.

She doesn’t think it records her thoughts, though, which is the really important thing right now.

It isn’t that Viv hadn’t been paying attention to America’s texts.  She had.  But they hadn’t been at the forefront of her mind the way her homework was (and unfortunately for that homework, her mind is now so full of other things that there’s no way she could really focus on any of it.  Except the math, which requires absolutely no thought and which she could do in her sleep...and which she will probably do to cool off later).  And, well.

She hadn’t expected u wanna be my gf? out of nowhere.

Of course, America clarified all of that, and if Viv had been paying attention to the greater context of the conversation, maybe her heart wouldn’t have frozen in her chest the way it had, maybe her breath wouldn’t have caught in the heartbeat between that text and the one after, but….

She doesn’t even like America like that.  She doesn’t like anyone like that!  They’re just friends!  Very, very good friends!

Viv groans, grabs her pillow, covers her head with it, and lets out a much, much louder groan, stifling it as much as she can.

Even still, a few minutes later, her father knocks at her door.  He will ask if something is wrong.  He will try to open the door.

“Do not worry!” Viv calls out, moving the pillow just enough to shout through the door.  “I am only frustrated with my homework!”

“Would you like my help?” her father asks through the door.

“No, I believe that would interfere with what I am intended to learn from this experience.”  It is a lie.  It is all a lie.  Viv is having no trouble with her homework at all and was actually nearly done with the whole thing before that singular text broke through her focus.  Which it shouldn’t have.  Still, she does not like lying to her father, not after the time she’d spent being so mad at her mother.

She doesn’t like to think about her mother.

With her father satisfied and away, Viv is left to her own thoughts.  None of which she likes.  She’s not sure why America believed she would be better at faking all of this than Kamala is when she’s no great liar, but perhaps it is simply that she is better at not speaking at all.  Perhaps America is afraid that with Kamala’s talkative nature, something might slip out that she doesn’t want her moms to hear.

—that, too, is an issue.

The “moms” in question are the two women who took America into their home when Strange did not, who for all intents and purposes adopted her into their family.  Agatha Harkness, the first and oldest witch, Viv has heard of in passing – both from America and, oddly, from her father – but never had the occasion to meet, despite the intrigue that surrounded her.  Wanda Maximoff, on the other hand, America is quite wrong to say that Viv has never met.

(To think of that means to think of her mother’s death, and Viv likes to think of that even less than she likes to think of her mother.)

There’s no way that America would ever have known that, however.  Viv would hope Wanda has no reason to bring it up, and she has not and had no intention to do so.  She likes speaking of her mother nearly as much as she likes thinking about her mother.  In fact, she isn’t even sure America knows what has happened to her, only that she is dead, which is more than fine with Viv.  She just has no way of knowing if that will come up if she agrees.

Viv isn’t sure she can successfully fake being anyone’s girlfriend, let alone America’s.

With a sigh, Viv shoves her homework under her bed.  She shuts down with the intent to finish everything in the morning, hoping that her rest cycle will help her see things with different eyes in the morning.

Well.

Not different eyes, since she has no intention of changing hers out any time soon.

But close enough.

~

Viv reconsiders in the morning as she finishes her math homework.  It’s good busywork that doesn’t require much thought, which lets her mind wander elsewhere.  Every now and again, she picks up her phone to see if she’s gotten any texts from America.  Nothing.  Which is for the best, honestly.

Finally, with a deep breath, she picks her phone up and sends the text.

notanandroid: I will be your fake girlfriend. notanandroid: But we will need to discuss everything first. notanandroid: I may change my mind.

~

It’s a full four hours later before America texts her back.

punchesstars: u wanna meet up l8r notanandroid: Send me a time and a place.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend, hoping that you are feeling better today and up for what's really mostly salt. I'm not sure I have anything to add to the 911 dissatisfaction discourse (and that its not all over the place) that hasn't been said before and said better, but here's the things that really struck me this episode. First is what feels like a clear intent to replace Buddie with Hen and Buck this season. Let's be clear, i love Hen and Buck together and their dynamuc is not out of nowhere, but i

can't help but feel its not only forced, but being forced to give an excuse not to show Buck with the Diaz boys. Just last season Eddie had his meltdown and the FIRST person Chris called was Buck, who literally dropped everything in his life (including his gf) to take care of them for weeks!! Now they don't hang out anymore, Buck doesn't check in when Eddie stresses about Chris lying or growing up in general?? He's been to therapy, Buck's done his job and that's that. Am I really supposed to buy into that?? I don't know if this is KR's way of minimizing Buddies importance, it feels more like maybe a way to try and make Buck's sperm donor nonsense somehow intersect with Denny asking about his Dad and that leads to something?? Maybe?? I don't know but it's hard to not feel like that makes the entire interaction even more forced, especially since right now it's been mostly a joke and bringing those two things together will be...a choice. Which brings up the point that nothing this season feels like it's setting anything up. I may not be a fan of S5 but at least the highlight, Eddie's breakdown arc, was set up beautifully from the start, as was the Madney issues, and even Bobby's near relapse (even though those last weren't nearly as well executed). Just, what are we supposed go be expecting for the characters?? Nothing that's happened seems in any way connected, it's like KR turned 911 into a sitcom and only occasionally remembers it's a drama. If the big arc this season is for Buck why has it been treated as a joke mostly?? Any cliffhanger we get for the midseason finale won't be nearly as impactful as Eddie quitting last year because it will come out of nowhere. And finally hard agree that the emergencies no longer mean anything. Like the best storyline so far is Eddie dealing with Chris growing up but it doesn't in any way involve his job, I could watch it on any drama on TV!!  

 Sorry to cut out mid rant, i got interrupted by someone expecting me to focus on my assigned tasks (the audacity). Anyway, pretty sure I more or less finished, i just want to see some spark of the old 911. The new dynamics are fun, but to again use our favorite punching bag of a show, it was also nice to see Alex talk to Max at the end of S3, but it made no sense and I'd have 10 times rather seen his limited screentime spent elsewhere. I need 911 to start doing better than RNM!

Hello my friend! I’m still languishing in my sick bed and very much not looking forward to packing, traveling, or sleeping on my brother and SIL’s couch in their overly crowded house for 3 nights while I’m recuperating, but I’m very excited for the wedding so there’s that to look forward to! 

This rant is all 100% spot on and exactly where I’m at right now. I’m not losing all hope, I’m having some fun, I’m laughing, or awwww-ing, but there’s just no gut-punch moments, no edge-of-your-seat moments, no depth, and nothing cohesive tying everything together. You’re so right about the Buck/Hen stuff feeling forced at this point and it’s BECAUSE we’re not getting any Buck/Eddie. Buck talking to Hen when they lost someone made sense because she was the captain on the scene and made the call and they ARE friends and is someone he respects and looks up to for guidance and someone who has all the answers. Him talking to her about the sperm donor thing made sense too as it’s something she’s seen the other side of but it was weird not getting ANYONE else talking with him about it, and the way the show has played it all off as a joke means it dragging out and becoming something bigger is going to be a weird tonal shift, especially since we didn’t get the firefam trying to be cool about it at work but following that scene up with Eddie or Bobby pulling Buck aside to talk about it and it was dropped again this week and likely won’t come up much if at all in the 6a finale unless it’s tied into the Denny stuff but again, they’ve treated it as a joke until now, so it’s going to be a jarring tonal shift if it’s a huge issue suddenly in the finale.

I also agree with where this season is going because like ??? what is anyone doing? Eddie’s dealing with Chris growing up but that’s been a couple of minutes in a few scenes spread over 8 episodes, Chim has nothing outside Maddie and Jee and even most of that has happened off screen (and actually most of THAT is speculation because we’re not even earing about much in canon either and is a lot of guesswork from fans based on the synopsis saying they were doing couples therapy), Maddie had the one thing in 6x05 and that’s been it outside a few scenes with Chim and Jee, Hen’s med school thing wrapped 2 episodes ago, Athena had “her” episode which affected zero things in the rest of the show and she hasn’t had much else besides these few scenes with May this week, Buck is all over the place looking for the right couch one episode, the key to happiness the next (neither of which have been brought up again since those episodes aired), and now this sperm donor thing but he’s not talking with Bobby or Maddie or Eddie or even Chim about anything, and Bobby is apparently finally getting something in the finale in 2 weeks, but it’s about a character that hasn’t come up in the 26 episodes since 4x14 a year and a half ago. Joy.

And I think that’s the issue with the emergencies. Because the episodes themselves aren’t having a clear narrative purpose and there’s no major arcs to move forward, the emergencies are just things happening to people we don’t care about with no weight or barring on anything, and they’re running them longer BECAUSE they aren’t doing anything with the mains on the personal side of things so they need stuff to fill the void.

As for the change in character interactions, if we were getting these “new” dynamics in ADDITION to the old ones I think it would be fine, but we’re not getting anything out of most of these scenes that either a) is revealing something to the audience they haven’t (or *can’t*) tell the person in the regular paring, b) is a shared experience only this new pairing has (Eddie and Chim have SO much potential for deep conversations about Maddie/Shannon/their kids/their dads), or c) would work better with the dynamics we’re used to seeing. You’re so right to bring in the RNM parallel because they did the same kind of thing like having Alex and Max talk but it not actually giving us much and it feeling disjointed because they hadn’t spoken for 3 seasons and also robbed us of scenes we actually wanted to see with characters that made sense. 911 is better than this, or at least it used to be. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[yoichichi]

How They Cuddle

karasuno x reader

warning(s): none ! :)

a/n: some sweet luv for the hq boys :) I’m planning on doing a part for the other fandoms I write for too - aot, bnha, & jjk - as well as the rest of the hq teams/characters - so keep an eye out if you’d like! And as always I love interacting w you guys :) feel free to leave comments/flood my inbox :D!

characters: daichi, asahi, sugawara, nishinoya, tanaka, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kageyama, hinata, yachi, & kiyoko

Daichi

He’s a hugger for sure! If you’re on your phone, or reading, or doing anything before bed he’s snuggling up behind you and resting his head on your shoulder to watch what you’re doing - he’s nosey like that. Anyways, being the big spoon is a very convenient cuddling position for that, and he gets to wrap you up and hold you close <3

Through the night though he slowly scoots down off his pillow in his sleep, so when you wake up his face is nuzzled into the middle of your upper back with his arms still squeezing around your midsection so tight you know you’d have to wake him up to get him to let go 😭 he’s also for sure a light snorer, but it’s ok he makes up for it by being cute or whtv 🙄

Asahi

Another spooner! He’s not particularly bias to being the big or little spoon but he just can’t face you 😭

There’s a few reasons: 1) it makes him freak out and it’s like he can feel your eyes on him even if they’re closed. He’ll be constantly peeking one eye open to look at your face and he’s half scared he’s gonna open them and you’re gonna be staring at him like 👁👁 LMAO

2) the breath on his face tickles too much and will eventually start to irritate him and he gets pouty cause it makes it tough to sleep

And 3) what if he’s making a weird face in his sleep and you wake up to see it 😭

So spooning for the win it is

Sugawara

I don’t think he’d be a big fan of being held, it makes him feel too claustrophobic and he’d feel kinda bad moving you off of him if he had to use the bathroom in the middle of the night :( I also think he tosses n turns a bit while sleeping so holding him wouldn’t be the best option anyways, however!

He likes touching/lightly intertwining legs - one reason is because you can kind of get away with it from any angle but still find a comfortable position that suits you, the other reason is because his feet get cold in the middle of the night and this is the easiest way to steal your warmth

Nishinoya

Ok ok, so I know it’s cliche - but I do think he’s a teensy bit too excited for bedtime cuddles! Not in a restless way, he’s just too excited with the act of actually cuddling you, like every time. Day cuddles are different! When the two of you have some alone time and he’s snuggled up with you on the couch, leaving a bunch of kisses (his favorite are Eskimo kisses), periodically grabbing your face so your lips pucker and leaving a dramatic kiss there after he talks about how cute you are (“oh my god you’re so adorable I could crush you ☹️🥺”), and then squeezing you so tight sometimes your back even cracks, it’s fine! You’re not trying to sleep so it’s just sweet Noya doting on you - but you can see how this would be a problem when y’all are tryna get some shut eye 😭

Solution: back to back, but touching so you can still feel each other’s closeness <3, bonus: every time Noya becomes aware your guys’ butts are touching he giggles and wiggles a little until you remind him it’s time to sleep 😭

Tanaka

Ok but he needs to have a hand on your ass and not even in a sexual way 😪🤚🏼 he just grabs on naturally or rests his hand there and sometimes lovingly pats it when he kisses your cheek before either going back to falling asleep or being on his phone or smth :)

He also loves burying his face in your neck, it just feels so soothing to him and he also finds your smell so relaxing and makes him feel all warm inside! Like when he sees you after a long day he loves wrapping you up in a big hug and leaving kisses in the crook of your neck and burying his face there cause he just missed you sm <3

Yamaguchi

Very much like Hinata he also adores being intertwined with you!! He finds it particularly comforting with your face buried in his chest or neck while he has his legs wrapped up with yours. He thinks it’s the best position to lean down and press a kiss to the top of your head (his favorite kind of sweet kiss), which he always does right before he feels himself drifting off to sleep.

He also likes rubbing your back/neck this way until you fall asleep, or while you talk about anything you wanna talk about. Waking up this way is also his favorite, and if you guys have moved in your sleep, you bet he’s pulling you back into a hug. He periodically squeezes you in his arms, leaves feather light kisses to your shoulder, runs his hands up and down your back, sure you probably won’t be asleep for much longer now with all this movement, but he just can’t help it with how sweet you look sleeping! Don’t worry though he’ll keep up the soothing while you wake up and talk about your dreams and what you want for breakfast :)!

Tsukishima

Not much of a cuddly guy throughout the day but when bedtime rolls around you bet your ass he’s expecting some kind of physical affection. His favorite is when he lays on his back with his arm out so you can nuzzle into his side, and once you’re all comfortable he wraps said arm around you to pull you in close.

Your favorite is when he runs his hand up and down your side or draws little designs with his fingers on any exposed skin. His favorite is when you bring your face up to rest in the crook of his neck or rest your head on his chest, any light kisses you leave or the breath that puffs out of you and hits his neck every now and then never fails to give him goosebumps and make him blush.

Kageyama

I don’t think he’s particularly ~stiff cuddling with you but I definitely think it’s not his forte when it comes to bed time! He just finds a comfortable spot - usually on his side or back - and that’s that! He’s found it and is gonna be out in approximately 2 minutes, but he does love feeling you in bed next to him :(

A good compromise he’s decided is reaching his hand out next to him him so he can hold onto your hand while he sleeps, or being the little spoon! It actually feels super comforting to him to feel you all cuddled up to his back and keeping him warm no matter if you’re bigger or smaller than him <3 he also loves the way he has to pry your arms off of him when he has to get up in those early mornings, or the way he feels your face squish up against his back sometimes, he just loves you.

Hinata

He definitely gets hot in his sleep but he love love loves cuddling with you, so you’ll always start off wrapped up in each other somehow. Usually face to face with your legs intertwined cause he thinks talking to each other about any and everything is a good way to wind down before bed - and I mean anything. Sometimes it’s just him asking you odd questions he’s been thinking about recently before one of you remembers you can google it

But no matter how you two fall asleep at first, you always wake up clinging onto his sprawled out body (probably because he’s kicked the blanket onto the floor and you got chilly in your sleep) or far away from him with all the blanket to yourself as he peacefully snores beside you <3

Yachi

Play with her hair and she’s KNOCKED 100%! She also loves either holding you or being held, but there’s got to be SOME kind of holding going on for her heart to feel full <333

She’s also the queen of surprise hugs from behind once you’ve been together for a fair bit and she feels more comfy being publicly affectionate with you! And if you do the same to her it never fails to make her smile or cover her face cause she’s blushing from surprise

“(Y/n)!! You startled me!” And now you have a very excited & giggly gf 😽😽

Kiyoko

I personally see her as a pretty religious back sleeper so the most ideal position is you in her side or you laying between her legs while she holds you and your head is resting on her chest. PERSONALLY she prefers the second one but she leaves it up to you <3

She just thinks it’s most ideal how she could reach down and trace her fingers lightly on the side of your face; or play with your hair if she’s able to; or rub your neck, back, and shoulders to ease any stress from your day. She’s a big giver of private affection and thinks it’s so cute when you’re so tuckered out you she wakes up with a little drool on her shirt. Not to mention your weight and warmth is super comforting to her ! And even if she wouldn’t admit it, she likes being able to use not wanting to move and wake you as an excuse to get 5 more minutes of you cuddling with her.

————————

Ahhhh hehehehe I hope you like and comments and all that jazz are always appreciated!! Big smooches :)

taglist: @plutowrites @sweet-darling91

[insinirate]

WHO NEEDS SLEEP so like anyway yeah hes been caught by pico and theres a little struggle but pcnj's always been weak to pico so when pico is like "hey cool it, just come with me for a sec", pcnj is like "finally!! he'll end my miserable existence" and pico drags him... to a nice looking place, and pcnj gets Nervous because hey, this looks like a residential area, not a secondary location to kill mofos, and pico opens the door to a couple of voices who happily greet him, and pcnj is just like "oh no" and sorta blanks out and hides behind pico because this is quickly going to become Awkward 2.0 as pico explains "hey this homeless guy is my ex, and i wanted to return the favor to him since he took care of me when i was homeless for a while, so you guys wont be upset if he uses the shower and eats a bit right?" and beef and geef are on HIGH ALERT because this strange homeless man is pico's ex and WHAT IF HE TRIES TO GET PICO BACK so they're not the nicest to him, but pcnj just takes it because he wants to Get Out as soon as he can. so at pico's behest, he quickly cleans himself and tries to leave, but pico is like "hey man have a meal first" and pcnj is like "goddammit" because his dumb feelings for pico never left, and pico himself may or may not have lingering feelings as well, so its awkwardly tense in a way exes tend to be, but pico is still being nice, slips on a smile here and there, an encouraging hand squeeze every once in a while, and pcnj is mad blushing. he cant help it!! hes still stupid in love with pico, but then he sees pico kiss beef and geef, and he looks so happy with them, so content and relaxed and melty with them, and pcnj's little heart shatters some more. beef tries to rub it in pcnj's face that PICO chose them and not him, but geef is a little more hesitant. pcnj's made no moves towards pico, and instead looks more like he wants to get away from it all. he looks like a sad kitten in the rain, and she feels a little bad for him because its obvious that he still LIKES pico, but hes doing nothing about it. pico tells bf to cool it, but pcnj uses bf as an excuse to go "nono hes right, i mean, im pretty much the whole reason you got exposed right?" and the trio go silent as the words sink in, and pico stands up like "pcnj cmon that's not what happened-" but pcnj wont hear it, hes spent an entire year or so wallowing in guilt and now that's all he'll ever know, so he tells pico that hes happy that pico found people who love him, and that he hopes theyll treat and protect him a lot better than pcnj could ever do, and absconds from their place as fast as his twinky legs can carry him before pico can lunge for him again. pico's got confusing feelings, bf is a little conflicted (but not by much), and gf feels a little bad for pcnj. pcnj himself is resigned to just stay brokenhearted and homeless until he fades away somewhere where no one can find him, tired of the limelight and hoping no one ever recognizes him again

...unless? i have a bandaid to slap onto this whole situation. of course, pcnj STILL wont end up with pico, he lost boyfriend rights forever, BUT he can at least have a shitty apartment again if you're interested in this shitty bandaid i have for sale

im running outta time i'll just pitch this bandaid and you decide to keep it or not. geef goes outta her way to find pcnj because she feels bad and shes a sweet gal, she can see that pcnj means... SOMETHING to pico, she likes her chew toy to be happy, so since pcnj is homeless, the least she can do is... offer him a job? but in what? the best thing she can come up with is "social media rep for her parents" because the imps are doing a poor job managing her parents' social medias, and humans are good at social media right? right! so she finds pcnj, drags him against his will to see her father, pitches her offer to her daddykins ("please daddy please please please hire him 🥺") and dd is leery of this greasy man and hes like "how experienced are you" and pcnj's like "well im a disgraced, cancelled twitch streamer who got doxxed by nosy fans who wouldn't stay out of my business, but before that i managed my social media well enough that i had millions of fans i interacted with often enough that people knew of me in the gaming sphere" and dd is like "well that's more than the imps so i'll give you a week to try the gig out" and pcnj, who expected to be turned down, goes "you're kidding" and gf is happy for him!! now pico's other ex has a job that she helped with!! pico will be so proud of her :) but pcnj is like "no dont tell him, i might not even keep this job if i do bad" and shes like "then dont do bad? but okay :(" and pcnj ends up wandering back to the dearests everyday for a week to show off his skills, and hes surprisingly good at maintaining and managing both dd AND mm's social med platforms, so he keeps the job and gets his first paycheck which makes gf proud :) but then he accidentally runs into pico AGAIN for Awkward Exes Reunion 3.0 at the dearests, pcnj leaving a meeting with dd and pico about to enter a meeting with dd, and they both kinda stare bewildered to even SEE one another in this godforsaken mansion, and pico grabs him before pcnj can scramble away again, and tells him to just. wait, okay? they need to have a real talk for once. and pcnj, a sucker for pico always, agrees and waits for him to finish his meeting with dd. they end up having a little talk, pico telling pcnj to stop blaming himself for something he couldnt control and pcnj reminding pico that he broke up with pcnj for a reason, and pcnj himself is already disappointed and ashamed that he couldnt do the bare minimum, which was keep pico's identity safe. pico admits he did run away because he thought it was his best bet, but now thanks to gf, dd played a hand in keeping pico's identity again through demon shenanigans, so hes safe now and it's okay and could pcnj please stop avoiding him. pcnj goes "no 💜" and says that it's better that they dont see each other often, especially since pico is dating to other people, one pcnj is okay with and the other pcnj wishes would shut the hell up. pico relents but asks if they can still be friends, and pcnj agrees reluctantly before getting surprised hugged by pico, and it really hits them then just how much they missed the other

they part ways and pcnj determines to stay distant from pico regardless, and settles into renting a shitty, small apartment and works with a decent laptop that can play maybe a game or two. he never returns to streaming and keeps his identity more or less on the down low so people dont randomly recognize him. pcnj ends up doing the "i'll love you from afar and admire your smiles in secret" thing with pico, keeping his distance so that pico will never notice him, but catching enough passing glimpses that he can still love him from a mile away

[jeongi]

cabin fever | jjk (m)

↣ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | jungkook x reader

↣ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 8k

↣ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 | fluff. smut. mild angst. exf2l au (?)

↣ 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | explicit language and sexual content. oral sex (f + m receiving), fingering, unprotected floor sex (dongs better be wrapped irl), light dirty talk,  very soft, fluffy smut. jungkook is sad, soft babie.

↣ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | trapped in a cabin with your ex-best friend jungkook, you’re forced to overcome the fallout between you two. 

↣ 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | cabin fever

“We're lost!” Seokjin shouts dramatically from behind the wheel. “Hopelessly and forever lost!” The van’s radio crackles and pops as the soft ooze of music sits underneath your friends’ bantering.

“You're such a baby,” says Namjoon as he smacks Seokjin with the map he's holding. “Relax. I know my maps.”

“You've only been here all of one time—” Seokjin spits back, his fingers clenching the wheel harder. You chuckle under your breath at their bickering, your body immediately tensing as you feel Jungkook adjust himself next to you. A part of you wonders if he’s still alive; you have no idea how he’s managed to sleep through the endless bickering- yet, there he sat, still snoring away. If you remembered correctly, Jungkook was almost impossible to wake up.

You ask yourself why you still felt somewhat nervous in Jungkook’s presence, and for the upteenth time, your memory reminds you of that giant nothingness that now separated you two.

Hoseok giggles behind you and your mood dampens further. His excessive, unwarranted giddiness irritates you on any given day, but today it seems extra warranted. How could you not feel irritated when your ex boyfriend is sat behind you, practically playing grab-ass with his new girlfriend?

You ask yourself again why you ever agreed to come on this trip, let alone agree to be stuffed in a van with an ex-boyfriend and an ex-best friend. And once again, you come up empty. You're sure there must be a reason.

“Hey, focus on the road!” Jyo-en shrills from the seat directly behind Namjoon. “Some of us want to arrive alive and unharmed.” Jungkook once again shifts in his seat, his shoulder pressing against your own and his mouth wide open. You can faintly hear the purrs of soft snoring escaping him.

Alas, your motives come to light. Frankly, you knew you were doing this as a favour to Jyo-en more than anything else. Her undying, one-sided pining after Seokjin had her on her knees begging you to go on this trip with her. There wasn't much that could ever reduce Jyo-en to such a state, but her affection for Seokjin's masculine wiles had been too much for her to bear. The fucker was just too damn charming and you couldn’t blame her either. From the broad expanse of his muscular shoulders, to the plump of his pink, full lips, you figure the chaos that naturally comes from his presence is usually heavily subdued by the sheer epitome of beauty that is Kim Seokjin.

Nonetheless, you had agreed to come on this trip, much against your initial refusal.

“Pipe down back there,” Namjoon shoots. “It could be worse.”

“Yeah,” says Hoseok, “Namjoon could be driving.”

Involuntarily, you snort. It isn't so much the humour that prompts such a response, but the bitterness you can't help but feel. However, that response is lost amidst the sea of laughter that now fills the van, save yours, Namjoon’s and a sleeping Jungkook’s.

Namjoon turns in his seat and glares at Hoseok. “Just because I don't have a license doesn't mean I can't drive.”

Seokjin chortles. “You literally almost drove us straight off a cliff the one time I let you drive.”

“You’re being dramatic. It wasn't even that tall a cliff…”

Beside you, Jungkook smacks his lips in his sleep, and sinks his shoulder further into yours. You absentmindedly wonder what he’s dreaming about.

Do you even care? Probably not. But the mental exercise in speculation offers some respite from the storm of emotion slowly and undeniably building within you. You glance back at Hoseok and Nancy, their disgusting buffet of PDA having no regard for anyone but themselves. You know for a fact you and Hoseok would have never done this. Turning away, your eyes once again fall on Jungkook.

You hope it's a dream better than this.

2:04pm [You]: ugh.

2:05pm [Yoongi]: Lol. What’s wrong?

2:07pm [You]: remind me again why i couldn't come tomorrow with you guys?

2:10pm [Yoongi]: Dude we've been over this, you couldn't swap spots with Jimin because he works tonight. It's the entire reason we're leaving tomorrow

2:10pm [Yoongi]: Is it that bad?

2:14pm [You]: between hoseok munching on his new gf and jungkook literally speaking to everyone but me,,, i’d say this is the car ride from hell

2:15pm [Yoongi]: Yikes

2:15pm [Yoongi]: Sounds about right, but I don't know what I can do from here...

2:25pm [You]: it’s whatever, tell jimin and tae i miss them dearly

2:26pm [Yoongi]: I’ll probably forget

2:27pm [You]: you’re the fucking worst.

You sigh heavily and lock your phone, haphazardly flinging it back into your lap. The van door opens with a whoosh and your eyes immediately squint against the intense albedo that now renders you temporarily blind.

“Did you just fucking hiss?” Seokjin asks, no trace of humour in his voice. You shoot him a silencing glare and he plays along to it, his hand shooting up to his chest as he fakes a few stumbles back. The effort to make you smile is that of triumph, the edges of your lips quirking up to a faint smile. Nonplussed, Seokjin continues. “Well, this is it!” He says with far too much enthusiasm for have driven nearly six hours. He reaches down towards the duffle bag by your feet and you swallow the bubble of discomfort that fills you when Nancy squeals behind you.

“This cabin is huge!” Her voice reminds you of Polystyrene rubbing together. It pierces your skull, scorches the skin on the back of your neck and you internally scream. Hoseok chuckles beside her and you can’t help but want to gouge out your eyeballs with a screwdriver.

When Seokjin swings the navy blue bag over his shoulder, his eyes briefly glance towards the still sleeping figure next to you, his face static in the grips of slumber.  

“Hey!” Without warning, a red glove speeds past your face and smacks Jungkook in the nose with a surprisingly satisfying thwack. Immediately, Jungkook jolts awake, shooting you an accusing glare so icy, the snow around you may as well be a sunny beach. Before either of you can react, the glove’s partner in crime follows and smacks him in the face again. “Well, good morning, sleepy beauty,” jeers Seokjin. “Now that you're alive, how about you start helping us move our stuff?”

Blinking in the new light before his eyes, Jungkook sighs explosively, half yawn, half exclamation.

“It’s sleeping beauty, you imbecile.” You think you hear him grumble under his breath. A part of you wishes he’d acknowledge you again like old times. Another- and you convince yourself, a greater- part of you simply cannot be bothered to care anymore.

“I think that’s the last of it!” Namjoon yells from the trunk of the van. You hear him close it with a loud thud, one arm holding a cooler, the other locking the trunk. Seokjin stands by the porch of the cabin, nodding approvingly at the progress. He checks his watch.

“I’m hungry,” he says, “Should we go into town?”

You groan in protest. “Dude, we just got here. You want to hop back in a stuffy van and drive, again?”

“Yes,” he answers without a beat.

“Yup!” echoes Namjoon. You have no idea how he heard this.

“Ah, food would be so good,” Jyo-en says as she comes up from behind you, a hand patting her stomach and a frown adorning her face. You can't help but roll your eyes; she’s not hungry at all.

“Food it is,” Seokjin confirms. Despite the peckish feeling that jabbers at your stomach, you're not certain your appetite can handle another car ride with them so soon.

“You guys go ahead without me, I had a big breakfast this morning,” you lie.

“Suit yourself,” he says with a simple shrug of indifference. Turning away to head inside, you hear Seokjin yell for the others. You’re not sure where Hoseok and Nancy scurried off to, though the list of possibilities is disgustingly short. As if on cue, they near stumble out of the room they had chosen for the night, their lips swollen and clothing frayed. You think you’re going to be sick, and a subsequent twist of your innards does everything but confirm the sentiment.

You need to get out of here. You desperately need to get out of here.

As quietly as you can, you pull your boots on and stuff a spare water bottle in your jacket. The door before you opens, and with a breath, you crunch your way into the snow covered trees. You should have worn something warmer, you scold yourself as you cross your arms over your chest and blow out a huff of air.

The air is still- too still, you think. Even the melody of chickadees sound too far away. Your breath comes out in stiff clouds, hanging seconds in the air before fading away. You shove your nose deeper into your scarf as you aimlessly wander, allowing your thoughts to get as lost as you’re about to be.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost be convinced it was four years ago. The way the wind nips your face reminds you of waiting for the train at the worst possible hours of the morning, despite the fact you only had the one class that day.

The rest of the day was for the squad.

This could mean anything from half-attempted study sessions (in reality, a thinly veiled excuse to gossip about your classmates and munch on overpriced cafeteria food) to skipping down to the neighbourhood village just down the street from your university for the far better food that was just as expensive. It could mean sneaking off between classes to a quiet staircase and into Hoesoek’s arms for as many fleeting moments the two of you could steal in a day. It could mean a walk down to the university bar for curly fries and maybe one too many drinks. Sometimes it was the train ride home, hand in hand and falling asleep on each other’s shoulders.

The wind was just as cold as it has always been, but you haven’t been. Somewhere along the line, something had changed. A whole lot of somethings. At some point or another, it all just started to come crashing down until now you stand, here, in a snowy field standing ankle deep in fading memories.

You’d ask yourself how it managed to go to hell so much, so fast. But you don’t feel like opening that vault again— you’ve had it closed for good reason.

The piercing caw of a crow snaps you back to reality. Your eyes open, and the freezing train stations and too-warm classrooms fade away with the snowfall. You feel the first snowflake hit your cheek and when you look up, another hits your nose. Whichever way you go, whether it’s memory lane or the slow, cold walk back to the cabin, it’s going to be a bitch either way. It doesn’t take long for your boots to become soaked, and it takes even shorter for your toes to begin freezing. Your only regret is you find yourself wishing you’d have noticed it earlier; you were too preoccupied with watching the sun’s last stretch across the mountaintops.

Your laugh is what Jungkook remembers the most as you two walked towards the train station on those cold winter mornings. The light fragrance of your perfume that overpowered the icy winds had always made you feel like home to him. And your laugh, the thing he missed the most. When was the last time he’d seen you smile? When was the last time he’d even talked to you? It seems a lifetime ago now.

Jungkook’s fingers hesitantly hold the black pen against his sketchpad as he allows the natural skill of his hand overtake the paper. The desk he’s sat on faces towards the blanket of white snow against a crisp blue sky. He sighs, the view of the mountain sheathed in nothing but white bringing him back to old memories of you.

He can almost taste the pork bulgogi he’d always order at lunch with you. One look is all you had to give in order to silently invite him to eat after class. It was that cocked eyebrow, the slight tilt of the head and he was already transferring money into his bank account. And your scent- soft and subtle against the cold winter air. Even if his lungs were crystalized by the cool winter air, your perfumed scarf still lingered to his nose. You’d always felt somewhat like a distant lover than an old friend. What happened? He happened.

Just as Jungkook blasts his Spotify playlist through his earphones, you walk through the front door. Unbeknownst to you or him, the cause of your melancholy sits on the floor above you in his room. Your hands are freezing, a soft curse escaping your mouth as your teeth clatter and you stomp your way inside. You’re covered head to toe in snow, a sudden icy flurry hitting you on your way back. Perhaps a spontaneous walk down memory lane was one of your dumber ideas but if anything, it was nice to get away from this bullshit for even a little while. And by the looks of it, you’ll be able to escape a little while longer as you stand in the foyer of an empty cabin. You’re alone with your thoughts once again. How did you get here? You ask yourself a million times over.

Shrugging off the weight of your coat, you unravel your scarf and land with a loud sigh against the brown suede couch. It’s a cozy cabin, you’ll have to give Namjoon that much credit but his need to treat everyone as equal despite obvious differences landed you in this more than miserable situation. Your fingers hesitantly uncurl, the heat already uncoiling the ice in your veins. You reach for your phone, the only notification being a “Merry Christmas” email from your dentist. You almost laugh at yourself.

4:04pm [You]: yoongs, entertain me

No reply, instead a big fat, red “not delivered!” pops underneath the message. You frown, annoyed at the world and mostly Jyo-en for dragging you along this getaway from hell. On top of this, the three people you’ve been wanting to see and talk to the most in the world won’t be arriving for another excruciating twenty-four hours. Old Man Winter chuckles to himself as he prolongs your misery.

Jungkook is mindlessly working upstairs, watching the flurry of snow coat the mountains and area around the cabin further. If it weren’t for the gentle ooze of Keshi in his ears, he’d be concerned by the rapid snowfall. His hand works diligently, his sketch near finished as he watches the sun set outside. Somewhere between the last of his shading and perfecting does the lamp in his room suddenly give out.

Silence.

You freeze as the world surrounding you goes absolutely still. The sound of heat coming through the vents stops, the lights flicker off and you’re approaching darkness as the sun settles outside. Fuck, you think to yourself. This could not be happening.

Reaching for your phone, your fingers clamour as you hastily give Namjoon a call.

Straight to voicemail.

You try Seokjin; it doesn’t even ring.

Panic settles over you, your flight or fight kicking in as you think of what to possibly do. You scour the main floor for a landline, anything that could be of use in this situation. Surely there was a maintenance number somewhere? It’s when you’re in the kitchen that you hear the footsteps above you. You freeze again.

Now you’re almost positive it’s an intruder ready to murder you. Like in those horrible, terrible horror movies. Although you’ve played a lot of Outlast, you doubt you could handle whatever the fuck has spawned upstairs. As the footsteps shuffle some more, you grab a knife from the counter and decide if you should wait to be murdered or move towards the sound like every idiot in those movies. But just as you’re deciding, the steps move rapidly down the stairs until you’ve panicked and dropped your knife, shrieking out of pure terror with your eyes shut.  

Jungkook stares at you in complete bewilderment.

“_____?” He cocks his head to the side, his eyebrows strewn together in genuine concern. His eyes fall to the knife on the floor, further confusion littering his mind. “Are you okay?”

The voice sounds familiar, too familiar and it pangs you to know exactly who it is.

Your heart plummets to your stomach when you tentatively open one eye and see Jungkook’s big doe eyes staring right back at you.

“Jungkook? What the hell are you doing here?” You put your hand to your chest and sigh a heavy breath of relief. “I fucking...thought…” You look back up at him, the furrow in his eyebrows suddenly flooring you with emotion. You haven’t really looked at him in ages, it feels.

“You didn’t go with the others?” His lips form an innocent pout as he asks. You haven’t realized how much you missed his boyish charm. It’s then that you find yourself observing him head to toe for the first time in a long time. He’s wearing a white t-shirt and (unintentionally, you convince yourself), the plaid red pajama bottoms you got him for Christmas three years ago. Is that how long it’s been since you’ve last spoken? He looks different, more confident, more tone in his body. Although his hair remains the same shade of brunette, it’s slightly longer and rests in natural curls. His jawline is even sharper, you note. From the small mole just under his lip to the faint cleft in his chin, you find yourself completely absorbed in how good looking Jungkook has gotten.

“N-no,” you’re suddenly stuttering as you catch yourself out of flagrant staring. “I thought you did—”

“Nope.” The tension brews around you two, both of you stood across from one another as sudden realization dawns on you.

“The power’s out,” you say and Jungkook nods in agreement. You really didn’t think this day could get any worse yet here you were. “I-I tried calling Namjoon but it wouldn’t go through.” Jungkook taps his pointer finger to his lower lip in consideration.

“Phone lines must be out too,” he said half to himself. “Must be a hell of a blizzard out there.” You shudder involuntarily as you remember the way the wind tore through you on the return journey to the cabin, and with the memory comes the bittersweet nostalgia…

You mentally stomp the memories out. Not the time, not the place. Not anymore.

“Well, I don’t want to starve,” you say as you start to feel your stomach glare at you hungrily. Maybe you should have gone with them after all. An image of Hoseok and Nancy sucking face flashes before you. You shudder again. It might still be hell here, but at least it isn’t a hell so deep as watching them. Besides, this is the most Jungkook has spoken to you in years.

“Fortunately, they left us with the food,” Jungkook says to you. “If memory serves correct there should at least be a box or three of smokies floating around somewhere.” He pulls on a sweater and rubs his hands together in an attempt to warm them up.

“What about the fire?” You ask.

“What about it?”

“Well, I don’t know. Can you start one?” You know for a fact you might be able to, but this isn’t the time for you to test your skills.

“Probably. It isn’t exactly rocket science,” he replies with a smart grin. There’s a small door just under the staircase that Jungkook opens with little to no hesitation. You had always admired how unafraid of the world Jungkook had always been. Perhaps those values washed away when he too walked out of your life.

You snap yourself out of it and roll your eyes. “Jungkook, you’re the least handyman person I know.”

“At least I’m remembered for something,” he replies as he dips below the stairs to search for wood.

You damn near have to stop yourself from smiling.

You’re not certain if it’s just the natural dynamic you shared with him, or if it’s completely circumstantial, but one thing was for certain; like it or not, you found the pair of you swiftly falling back in step with one another in more ways than you’d care to admit… and more ways than you’d care to remember.

It’s almost as if he hadn’t just chosen to vanish from your life for nearly three years. It’s almost as if it were like old times. What had happened to you guys? Why did he stop calling you?

For the umpteenth time, you snap yourself away from this. It’s too late. There’s no use in thinking of the past. You sigh and return to the kitchen, scouring, searching every cabinet and square surface for candles and matches.

A heartbeat or three passes, and a clonking of feet on wood alerts you to Jungkook’s return.

“I've got good news and bad news,” He huffs as he steps back onto the main floor from the cellar.

“Oh, god,” you start. You feel a slight panic coming on again.

“Good news?” He hefts a frayed and worn burlap bag. “I found firewood.”

“And the bad news?” You ask tentatively.

He feigns sadness before he brings out two giant bottles of cabernet sauvignon from behind his back. “There's all this wine, and nobody around to drink it,” he finishes. “Except us, naturally.”

For however brief a moment it was, you knew for certain that the flash in his eyes, the quick smile he now wore, you hadn't seen for years. It seems as though, if only for a split second, the old Jungkook had returned. Somehow sensing your revelation, the moment passes as swiftly as it came, and then a stone faced Jungkook returns.

“I-if you want to, anyway.” The coolness returns without indication, a coolness you are now determined to thaw out.

“I’m insulted you even think you have to ask,” you return playfully. A hint of colour returns to his cheeks, and a fraction of a grin returns. Silently, he sets about starting the fire while you work on opening the wine.

It takes you a second to realize that the wine is in fact corked, and you had not a corkscrew between the two of you. You glance at Jungkook, his back still turned to you, rubbing two sticks together or something. You really don’t know, and he doesn’t share; in fact, he seems quite absorbed in his work.

You glance back at the wine bottle. Taking the lapse in effort, you ask yourself if this was really worth doing- if this was even a good idea.

“Aha!” You hear a whoosh followed by a golden radiance that now permeates the space. “And that,” Jungkook turns towards you, grin wide and proud, “is how you start a fire.”

You’re not only warm, but impressed- leave it to Jungkook to be perfect in literally every department. You suppose he hasn’t lost that talent yet.

Though the feeling of pride quickly fades as you see the can of body spray in one of his hands and a lighter in the other. You raise a questioning eyebrow at him, silently calling him out on his middle school arson methods.

“It was ah, taking too long,” he adds sheepishly, rolling the can of body spray towards the corner and playfully tossing the lighter at you.

“Seokjin is going to kill you.”

“What for? Theft of his lighter, or his outrageous body spray? If anything, I’m doing him a favour…how are you making out with the wine?”

“We… don’t have a corkscrew,”  you reply somewhat dejectedly. That half-serious face comes about his visage once more as you see him wracking his brain, trying to solve the problem.

His grin returns. “Don’t worry,” Jungkook says after a minute. “I have an idea.”

“What a waste of a fucking match, oh my God!” You’re sure to sound extra exasperated as you watch Jungkook wrap the loose piece of twine around the neck of wine bottle.

“Do you want to drink or not? Let me work my magic…” Jungkook wears determination on his face, a tongue poking out, eyebrows scrunched together as he ties it once, twice until you’re sure even a wine bottle could choke. You watch as he carefully takes a match and strikes it with the expertise of a pyrotechnic turned for the better. With little hesitation, he lights the twine on fire, a burning noose around the neck of the wine bottle. It doesn’t take ten seconds for the glass to crack open. He’s two for two; at this point, you find yourself enjoying his company more and more.

You’re honestly mesmerized. “How…?” You ask. He lets out a soft chuckle, barely audible.

“It’s magic,” you hear him say as he shrugs. “I don’t have to explain shit.” Another eye roll later, you’re returning to the kitchen and opening the cabinet above the sink in search of wine glasses. To no avail, you find stainless steel coffee mugs instead.

“Is this even safe to drink out of? I won’t choke on microscopic shards of glass?” You ask Jungkook after your third and fourth glasses. It’s a little too late to be asking such a question but you’re sure at this point, your words are a little slurred and nothing quite makes sense. Inwardly, you realize it’s a moot point anyway, and with that realization comes that for the first time in longer than you can remember, you’re just trying to strike up a conversation with him.

It’s hard not to when Jungkook has planted a pile of pillows and blankets in front of the fire, the pair of you sat and drinking potentially lethal wine. Before you lies half-finished board games you two attempted to play yet failed due to sheer anger at the game itself or each other. You’re sure if you were sober, this would be a lot more difficult.

“Magic, _____.” Jungkook slurs, his cheeks flushed and that half grin he does so well. Despite a certain flutter in your chest, you scoff into your mug of wine, small bubbles splashing back onto your upper lip.

“Magic?” You nearly spit. “This isn’t Harry Potter, Jungkook. How exactly do you personally quantify magic?”

A quiet moment passes as he swirls the final dregs of wine in his cup thoughtfully.

“I’d define it as the things you do to me, actually,” he replies before downing the rest of his cup.

Are you hearing things right? Did that actually come out of his mouth? Is this happening? You glance at your own cup. What the fuck is this wine, anyway? You’re drunk. Both of you are.

Jungkook stands and reaches for the bottle, filling up his cup before topping up your own. You still sit in a stunned silence, observing as he tosses another log into the fire, a shower of sparks floating up the chimney.

“Wh… Where did that come from?” You manage. He waves his hand dismissively, breaking eye contact a moment.

“Next question?” He asks as he sips.

Feeling bolder now, you pursue. He isn’t getting away that easily.

“Okay. I’ll put it another way.” You pause to sip, the confidence now flowing nominally through your system. “What exactly happened to us?” There, you’ve asked it.

A silence now spreads the two of you apart, despite the lack of inherent distance between you two presently. Now it seems to be Jungkook’s turn to be stunned into silence.

“I’ve been wondering the same thing this entire time,” he replies. The stone is slowly creeping up to his face.

“You can do better than that,” you egg him on.

“What, now you believe in me?” He shoots back. The venom in his words would take you off guard if it weren’t for how earnest his was before you. He drinks again, gulping this time. He must be on his sixth glass now. You can see the same sentiment in his eyes that you hold in your heart; a universal now-or-never. This is the chance to lay the cards on the table. You know it’s going to hurt, but you know it’s necessary. He rises slowly to his feet, swaying ever so slightly from the wine.

“How about you tell me what happened to us, _____?” Jungkook almost shouts. “We used to be close. We told each other everything. I used to stay up late just to make sure you got home from class or work, I made sure you ate your meals, that your homework was completed. I cared. We both did. Maybe a bit too much...” With this, he sighs explosively and flops down onto the dusty couch behind you, his chin resting on his hand. “We used to be something. I don't know what, but it was there. And now?” He waves an arm absentmindedly towards the window. “Nothing but cold.” The irony, you think. But it's an irony that's been a long time coming, and a certain sick irony that could only come from him.

But the question sticks with you, more than you'd care to admit. Something had slapped you deep inside, and even still it reverberated within you.

No, you're not going to stand here and take this.

“You tell me what happened, Jungkook.” You uncross your legs and rise to your feet, striding towards him. “You stopped texting, calling. You stopped wanting to hang out, and suddenly there was this wall between us. You never even told me what I did.”

For a moment, he looks hurt, as though a thousand predisposed assumptions has just come hurtling down. He regains his composure, though barely, and through shaken words, he continues.

“No, _____.” His face softens. “It isn't what you did. It isn't anything you did, not really.” He's nervous now; his knee bounces, his jaw clenches. You're fairly certain he's beginning to sweat.

What isn't he telling you?

“Tell me,” you whisper. No venom now, merely curiosity, and perhaps a hint of something more. Your hand finds its way onto his own, and your fingers slowly curl around his palm. Contrary to your assumptions, his hand remains there. Even more surprising, his hand reverses and his fingers interlace with your own. A heartbeat passes, and his eyes meet yours.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, _____. I don’t think either of us did anything wrong. Passing ships in the night? Too little, too late? Just bad timing, is that all? Hell if I know.” He takes a deep swig of the wine. “We vibed. Hard. Everything about us was natural and made sense.” You have to agree with this, even now, not talking after so long- you two felt real, felt right.

“No, Jungkook, that’s bullshit and we both know it!” You insist. “You stopped putting in the effort, you stopped wanting to be in my life, you….” It hurts you, a sinking feeling in your chest as you choke out your words. “You wouldn’t even look in my direction the past however long ago it was that you decided to walk away from my life without a single warning.” Perhaps it’s because you’re drunk that tears spring. It’s a deep-seated memory that you’ve brought back, a confrontation that you had always convinced yourself would never happen. “And I don’t even get an explanation why?” This whole situation had to have happened for a reason, you drunkenly tell yourself. If fate really was real, this moment would be its poster child.

Jungkook is staring at you with a look you can’t quite read. You can’t quite decide if he’s about to cry with you or angrily escape this situation. Instead, he places his cup on the wooden coffee table and stands up. His walk towards you in confident, as if he’s ready to expel whatever it is that riddled him in shades of torture for as long as it did. He takes your hands, a slight shake in the way he grasps them.

“I couldn’t stand seeing you with him,” he blurts.

A moment passes, your eyes unleaving as you try and process the weight of his words in your scrambled, drunken mess of a mind. You with who? Hoseok?

“Him?” You find yourself repeating. “Why would you…”

Jungkook sighs and lets your hands go, his fingers moving up to rake his brunette locks away from his face. He’s definitely sweating, you note.

“Wasn’t it obvious, _____?

“B-but what about after we broke up, you could’ve—”

“Could’ve what?” He laughs humorously. “Could have gone back to the way it was before?” He cranes his neck to the side, the palm of his hand rubbing against the skin. “It doesn’t work like that, _____. I’m selfish for you but not that selfish. Staying away was better anyway... neither of us would get hurt.”

But you were hurt, hurt more than the break up itself because at the end of the day, all you wanted was your best friend and even he had left. “You’re such an idiot.” You can’t help but say. “Stupid, stupid idiot. How could you do that?” You want to punch him, slap him as hard as you can for him to feel any amount of equivalence in physical pain that he gave you in emotional pain. All those nights you had laid wondering what you did wrong had all been for nothing?

Your frown deepens, more questions than ever before emerging. “You liked me?” Had you ever even thought of him as more than a friend? You’re not sure you should even be asking these questions with vigour liquor coursing through your veins yet, you remind yourself that the liquid courage has brought you two here thus far.

Jungkook laughs once more, no strain of humour in the vibrato. “That’s an understatement.” He then mumbles and you’re left racking your brain. For a brief second, it makes perfect sense before you completely lose your train of thought.  “Besides,” he continues. “There’s no point in thinking what could have happened, I just—” There’s a pause as his chocolates in his doe eyes search yours for something. “Will you just let me kiss you right now?”

This takes you wholeheartedly off guard, your eyes widen as you speak with hesitance. “Y-you want to kiss me?”

“I’ve always wanted to, _____.” How does this phrase create such a powerful flutter in your chest? You wonder if it’s the alcohol or maybe, just maybe, a deep-rooted longing you;d never known you had in you.

Without answering his question, you kiss him first.

As your fingers reach for his face, Jungkook grapples your waist. You feel tiny in the palm of his hands, he thinks as he feels your lips against his for the first time. Jungkook feels as if he’s dreaming- perhaps the alcohol has something to do with that.

Red wine is what you taste the most, mixed with a subtle sweetness of mint. You drown in him, melt against him as he carefully engulfs you into his arms. The fireplace warming the space around is nothing in comparison to the sudden inferno in your chest. It’s then that you realize, this is what you’ve wanted all along.

Your hand slides down Jungkook’s face to his chest. He feels broad underneath your fingertips, a certain firmness to the touch that you hadn’t expected. He only brings you closer, arms wrapping around your torso as his lips press against you harder. His tongue is soft with your own, a gentle roll with your own as a certain heat builds up in your core.

Suddenly, it’s messier. Jungkook’s tongue swipes your bottom lip before planting a soft bite. It releases a whimper from you, earning a quiet groan from him. You’ve never thought this day would come. Are you dreaming?

When you pull away, Jungkook’s full attention is on you only. He runs a thumb over your wine-stained pout, his eyes large and completely enveloped in the sight of you. “I never thought I would get to kiss these lips.” He says.

You moan and lean in for another.

No matter how much your lips fuse together, how much you press yourself against his stronger hold, you cannot get enough nor do you want this to end. It feels right, comfortable to be in his embrace like this, his mouth against yours and chests connected. It’s not long before you’re both succumbing to the fall on your knees against the self-made bed Jungkook made of old blankets and pillows. It’s cozy, neither of you wasting time to run upstairs to a proper bed. You think this is the most romantic setting you could have ever hoped for.

It’s when you’re suddenly on top of Jungkook that you feel a growth settle underneath your core. You feel the sheer girth of it as your kissing intensifies, two large hands coming to rest upon your thighs as they persuade your hips to skim over it. You gasp at the feeling, sure that you’re already soaked beyond measure. It’s not hard for you to already feel him like this, the thin veil of his pajama bottoms being the only barrier away from you having it in you. The thought arouses you far too much, leading to a harsher grind that has you both moan out. You haven’t been touched in a long while.

Jungkook’s hands travel up your sides until he’s cupped both of your cheeks in each palm. Your lips are guided once again to his own as he places a hard kiss against you. With each fleeting moment, your want for him intensifies. You can’t help but think this was meant to be, that you’ve wanted this somewhere deep within you. Perhaps the old you was looking out for the future you.

It’s with both hesitance and confidence that Jungkook inches your sweater up. His hands feel warm against your bare torso, a shiver running through you when they lazily travels up and down your sides. As you pull away, Jungkook gives you that lopsided grin you hadn’t realized you’ve missed dearly until this moment. It almost feels as if nothing has changed, as if there hadn’t been a giant nothingness between you two for so long.

“You look so beautiful.” Jungkook whispers, his right hand reaching to push a strand of hair away from your face. He helps you guide your shirt off before a thumb strokes your cheek, and then your lips. You softly bite it and receive a contempt groan in response.

“Yours too,” you gently urge as you play with the hem of his white shirt. Jungkook grins and lifts his torso before pulling the fabric over his head. He does not hesitate to kiss you again.

With each kiss, the intensity grows until you’re sure you’ve caused a puddle in your pants as you shamelessly grind your cunt against a very erect bulge in Jungkook’s pants. He feels so firm, more built than you could have ever imagined as he pulls you tighter against him. You’re slowly losing your mind before you decide to take the initiative.

“Jungkook,” you mumble against his mouth.

“Hm?”

“Let me taste you.” Jungkook nearly unravels just from those words alone.

“Yeah?” You nod, a coy smile spreading across your face as surely a heavy blush riddles your cheeks in a crimson red. Jungkook merely chuckles, planting a feverish kiss against your mouth. “You’re so adorable.”

You trail kisses down his torso, the definition of muscles in his abdomen driving you absolutely mad. You’re still unable to fully comprehend what exactly was happening yet you’re equally unable to stop yourself.  Jungkook helps you get rid of his pants, your mouth instantly watering when his erection lands against his torso with a soft thwack. It glistens against the golden aura surrounding you. He cocks his head to the side. “Think you can take it?”

If that’s a challenge you hear in his tone, it’s a challenge you’re willing to take. You might even think Jungkook remembers how competitive you are. You move down his body with ease before placing a tentative lick against the head of his cock. Jungkook’s hands immediately surrender to your hair, moving it out of your face until he’s made a makeshift ponytail out of his own hands.

“Fuuuck,” he drags out shakily when you take the whole of his head in your mouth. You suck just under his head, a certain ball of nerves that drives Jungkook absolutely mad. The hold he has on your hair acts as an invisible guide, in motion with his hips lifting does he simultaneously move your head down. “Just like that, baby.” You groan against his cock as you take more of him in your mouth. Jungkook is thick, girthy with a prominent vein that sits right where your tongue can trace it. He’s losing himself further and further into you as you begin a steady motion of sucking. Your hand holds the base of his cock as your mouth works wonders, earning you whimpers and curses from him. “So good, so good.” Jungkook gasps when you pick up the pace. It’s when he feels himself really about to lose control that he pulls you away from his cock, a satisfying pop following the disconnect.

“C’mere,” he murmurs before smashing his lips against yours. Though your lips are coated in saliva, his kisses have become sloppier, rougher as he cradles your torso with one arm before flipping you until you’re underneath him. “These have to go.” He pulls at your pants and you giggle with agreeance.

“That would be ideal.”

Jungkook undoes the buttons before tugging them down your legs. You’ve now got nothing on but your bra, a pale violet with a lacy trim on the top. Did you subconsciously know you were going to get fucked by none other than Jeon Jungkook today?

He pulls your legs apart, a satisfied hum escaping him as your glistening folds welcome him. “Fuck, _____.” He whispers as his thumb skims over your wetness. You suck in a sharp breath, the callous on his thumb sensitive against your cunt. You want him to touch you there.

It’s as if he can read your mind, the thumb now dragging over your clit. The sigh of relief you give only fuels Jungkook’s satisfaction more. He too would like to taste you.  

You cry out, hands grappling for his torso as he begins circling the thumb over your sensitive nub. “So wet,” he groans.

“J-just for you.” This makes Jungkook move faster with his thumb. He wants to feel you. Jungkook slowly slides the defts of his index and middle finger into you, your cry filling the space. He takes his time, feeling your walls clench around his digits as his thumb simultaneously circles over your clit. He’s amazed by how each thrust of his fingers causes you to coat them farther in your arousal. And you’re amazed by how soon you’re about to come. It only makes his own erection angrier and your cunt clench tighter.

“You coming, baby?” Never would Jungkook have thought he’d get to call you baby. You nod with vigour, each pump of his finger along with the relentless rub of his fingers causing your legs to shake.

“S-so fucking close...oh my god.” You’re coming, you’re coming, you’re— “Jungkook!”

He dips his head in between your thighs, his mouth instantly suctioned to your clit as his fingers continue their torture. With his tongue replacing his thumb, you come undone almost instantly, the wave of pure white, hot filth overtaking your entire body. You shudder, legs trembling as your fingers thread through the lush of Jungkook’s brown locks. Jungkook continues licking against your clit, flicking and sucking until you can no longer take it.

“F-fuck me, Jungkook- please,” you beg as your cunt craves for more. You want absolutely all of him.

Jungkook’s cock is ready, heavy against his palm as he takes ahold of the base and spreads your legs apart. His mouth is wet with your arousal, his chest littered with beads of sweat. “Your pussy looks so fucking good.” He remarks, letting the pink tip of his dick rub against your wet folds. You both moan at the sensation.

With one more rub of his head, he lines himself against your entrance and slowly pushes his hips forward. You think you could come instantly again. Jungkook’s cock feels amazing, full as your tightness grips with so deliciously, even he has to hold himself back from not undoing quickly.

“Fuck.” You let out as you place a hand on his chest, letting the feel of his cock overtake your entire body. He stops when he’s reached the hilt, careful to rock his hips out before slamming them back into you. You can’t help but cry his name out. “You feel so good.” You’re whimpering, the hand on his chest and moving to the back of his neck as you push his head forward to kiss you. He follows suit, beginning a rhythmic pace of his hips as you lose yourself further and further into him.

Jungkook kisses you feverishly, hot and wet against your mouth as he continues to rick in and out of you. His breaths are laboured, filthy words and curses escaping him as you clench around him with each thrust.

“Yeah, baby?” You’re losing your mind, already close to a second undoing. You know you’re going to come again soon. Jungkook takes your legs and places your ankles on his shoulder, plummeting into you with a force so delicious, you’re about to go delirious. You’re so tight, Jungkook can feel himself edging closer to his own end. “Fuck, turn around for me.” You do as requested, turning to your stomach. Jungkook pulls your ass up towards him and lines himself up once again. Without hesitation this time, he pushes into you, a new type of fullness that overtakes your innards. He feels so fucking good.

It’s a steady rock, your ass hitting against his pelvis as he continues a continuous motion with his hips. He’s relentless in his movements, the new position allowing him to reach deeper, feeling you clench tighter.

“Holy fuck,” Jungkook is moaning out. He grabs a handful of your ass, using it as support while he rams into you with no plans of slowing down. The room is filled with the sound of your skin slapping and your deep breath and moans. Jungkook knows he’s so close.

He reaches forward, first and second digit immediately gravitating towards your clit. As he rubs, the familiar rubber band stretches in the pit of your guts. You’re going to come again, you feel it.

It’s when Jungkook whispers into your ear how much he wants to come inside you, that you give out. It washes over you, makes you tighten your grip on the blanket underneath you as you clench so hard around Jungkook that he too comes with you. You feel the spurts of him fill you to the brim until you’re nothing but a puddle underneath him. You lay still, letting his fluid mixed with yours dribble out of you as Jungkook pulls out. It burns to have him away from you. You want him to hold you all night.

“Was that okay?” Jungkook asks, leaning forward to kiss your shoulder. You nod in reassurance, twisting your head around so he can kiss your lips.

It’s then that your phone blares, taking you both by surprise. You rush to your feet, arms reaching for your phone when you see Namjoon’s name flash across your screen.

“Hello?” You answer with no thought.

“_____! Oh my god! Are you okay? There was a huge storm, we’re trapped in town until Monday- did I ask if you were okay? I think Yoongi—” The line fizzles out.

There’s a pause as you look at a curious Jungkook.

“It looks like we’ll be here a while.”

a/n: hey babies! so sorry for the long wait for this one! i really hope you liked it! it’s been in the works for a little while haha. this is my first fic back in a WHILE! and more to come soon! let me know what you think as per usual. i love you so much!!!!!!! and happy holidays to you, your friends and families ✨💞

[retrievablememories]

nepenthe | winwin

title: nepenthe pairing: winwin x black!reader genre: hurt/comfort, fluff request: “Winwin stays with his girlfriend over night while she is sick and takes care of her. This is a major turning point in their relationship because the gf thought that there was a strain in their relationship but him doing this unannounced makes her realize he really cares about her. Black oc? Thank you!” word count: 2.7k warnings: mentions of being sick, relationship troubles, some cursing a/n: nepenthe (n.) — “anything inducing a pleasurable sensation of forgetfulness, especially of sorrow or trouble.”

➠ a part of the nct 127 sleepover series

It’s been awhile since you’ve been able to hang out with Sicheng without your many responsibilities pulling you both in different directions. Therefore, you leapt at the invitation to visit him at the dorm while you both had a window of free time. Getting these kinds of opportunities was not frequent between your college tasks and his work, and you both always tried to plan things well in advance if it was possible.

However, in the few days before you’re supposed to go over to the dorm, a strange itch begins in your throat, and your head feels fuzzy and warm in a bad way. Thinking the worst, you try to get ahead of it by taking medicine and getting more rest, but it’s just a little too late; you’re sick with a cold. You’re naturally upset about it, but you’re even more disappointed because it means you can’t visit Sicheng anymore—not unless you want to get him and everyone else sick.

Either way, you don’t think you could drive to his dorm even if you wanted to attempt it, considering you’ve only been able to get up to use the bathroom and eat whatever snacks or medicine you have around. Every part of your body feels weaker, although this might also be because you haven’t had energy to cook an actual meal.

You don’t want to break the news to him, but the date is creeping closer and it’s better to tell him now than have him be unpleasantly surprised when the day comes and you never show up. So, you sit up in bed as comfortably as you can and call his number, tugging the sheets around you and staring into space unhappily as the phone rings.

“Y/N?”

“Sicheng…”

“Hi Y/N,” one of the other boys says from the background, and you think it might be Yangyang.

“Hi Yang,” you respond, but your voice comes out a bit broken as you cough at the end.

“What’s wrong?” Sicheng asks, and it sounds like he’s walking away—maybe going into another room to talk to you privately.

“I’m really sorry Sicheng, but I can’t come over this week...I’m sick and I feel like pure shit.”

“You’re sick?” Sicheng asks, and he sounds both annoyed and concerned. “Like, you’re really sick?”

“Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” you ask, irritated by the seemingly silly question.

“Y/N, I was just making sure—it’s not like this is the first time you’ve canceled our plans over one reason or another.”

You roll your eyes and sigh, though it comes out a bit ragged. “Excuse me for getting sick, then. It’s not like I could help it, and every time I canceled I had a valid reason. It’s not like I don’t want to see you.”

“I get it, I get it. I didn’t even suggest that Y/N.”

“But you always sound like you’re upset with me every time it happens.”

“Well, yeah. Do you expect me to be happy about not being able to see my girlfriend?” Now he sounds as irritated as you are.

“That’s not even what I’m talking about and you know it.” You want to say more, but you are already tired and the last thing you want to spend your energy on is arguing.

“Look, I don’t know why—”

“Sicheng, I’m really tired. We can just talk about this later, okay? I’m sorry I can’t come. Goodbye.” You don��t wait for a response before ending the call, and you feel a little bad about it, but you don’t feel like dwelling on any of this at the moment.

You sink further down into the nest of pillows you’ve propped up against your headboard and resign yourself to another long and arduous night of trying to fight your sickness. A few tears drop from your eyes, though you try not to cry too much; that would only make your nose even more stuffed up. Eventually, you fall into a restless and light sleep before you even realize it.

However, you’re frightened awake a half hour later—or maybe it’s an hour later, you’re not totally sure—when your phone rings from underneath one of your many pillows.

It’s Sicheng again. Your stomach drops a bit. Maybe he’s more pissed about you hanging up than you thought he’d be, and he’s calling again to say he’s finally had enough of you flaking on him. Which might be a ridiculous conclusion to jump to in any other relationship, but… “Hello?” you ask, your voice now doubly rough from sleep.

“I hate to ask this of you, but can you let me in? I don’t have a key or anything so…”

You pause for a long moment, then sit up in bed, though it takes an effort. Your head is still hot, and you think you might be having a fever dream or haven’t heard him right. “Let you in?”

“I’m outside,” he confirms.

“Outside…” you repeat. Maybe you shouldn’t be this surprised about your boyfriend coming over to your place, but he gave no indication he was coming over. Or that he was even thrilled about dealing with you in these past few months. Plus, it’s snowing pretty steadily outside and will likely get heavier in the next few hours; not many people would want to travel in that weather.

You get up from the bed and go to the front door. As he said, Sicheng is standing there with two bags on each arm. You shuffle to the side to let him in the door, still feeling surprised but mostly dizzy and feverish. “I didn't know you were coming,” you say absentmindedly.

“You hung up before I could say so,” he says. His tone is light, as though he doesn’t want to make a big deal of it, but you can tell he isn’t super pleased about it.

You shift on your feet a bit awkwardly. “Ah yeah….sorry about that…” You follow Sicheng into your kitchen to watch him set the bags on the kitchen counters, and you’re about to sit in one of the chairs until he hurries over to you and gently grasps your arm.

“You should get back in bed. Don’t worry about this stuff in here, I’ll take care of it and bring you your food.”

You raise your eyebrows, but even that facial movement is enough to make your head throb. “You brought food?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to attempt to cook…” He laughs softly as he guides you back to your bedroom and into your bed, and you’re momentarily embarrassed by how messy everything is. You haven’t had the strength or motivation to tidy anything up, and there are tissues all over the place still.

If he notices the mess, which you know he must, he doesn’t say anything about it. He only helps you back underneath the covers and even takes the initiative to throw the messy tissues in your wastebin. Again, you’re embarrassed by him touching everything like it’s not gross, and you pull the blanket up as if to hide beneath it.

“You don’t have to do all that, I can toss them out later,” you insist.

“It’s fine. You’re the patient, remember? Just let me handle it.” He smiles, and you just nod in response.

“Patient, though...you make me sound so sickly.” You want to laugh but your head hurts too much to do so, and you merely make a wounded sound instead.

“You are the patient. My patient,” Sicheng says, and comes over to lay a hand across your forehead. He makes a sad noise at how hot your skin is under his hand. You want to ask him a bunch of questions about why he came and why he’s being so concerned despite your earlier conversation, though they seem kind of ridiculous to you. He’s your boyfriend, and he’s supposed to be concerned, but for the past few months it seems like a wedge has been growing between you. And now, he’s not even as upset about you not being able to come over as he’d normally be.

Sicheng leaves your bedroom to go take care of the stuff in the kitchen. He comes back a few minutes later with soup and medicine and water, and you watch from where you’re propped up on the pillows as he arranges the things on your nightstand.

“Thank you,” you say as he hands you the medicine and water to take. Sicheng watches as you as you do, and you feel strangely bashful under his gaze.

When you grab the soup, your hands are still a bit shaky, so he offers to take it for you instead. “Are you sure? I feel like I’m a baby or something.” You smirk to yourself and shake your head.

“If I don’t you’ll spill it on yourself, and I don’t think you want that.” Sicheng gives you a small smile, and your cheeks warm a little—more than they already are, anyway—when your hands brush each other’s as he takes the bowl. The feeling is almost foreign; you haven’t experienced that sensation so acutely since you did when you first started dating and everything was still new and electric.

It’s quiet for a while as he feeds you, but you’re increasingly curious about the whole situation, so you finally decide to speak.

“Do the others know you’re gone?” you ask between bites of food. “Like, I mean...I’m sure they do, but…” You’re not sure what exactly you’re trying to ask him, and your words falter for a moment.

“Yes, but I’m not really supposed to be gone right now.” He feeds you another bite, and you chew it somewhat sadly.

“Then why did you come? You could get in trouble.”

“Do you not want me here?” His smile is joking, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. That makes you feel guilty. “It doesn’t really matter...it won’t be the first or last time I get into trouble over something that really isn’t that serious.”

“No, I...want you here. I’m surprised you came, though.”

“Why?” he asks, though he looks like he already knows the answer.

“We both know things have been kind of shitty lately. Between us.” You’re wary of expanding any further and dragging up all those unpleasant memories—and ruining the small, relatively peaceful moment you’ve both created—so you let him give you another spoonful of soup to fill the silence.

Sicheng’s smile fades a bit and is replaced with a more solemn look. “You’re not wrong about that. I just...I’m sorry for making you feel like I’ve ignored your feelings. And for being too impatient with you. I want to be next to you all the time, but it’s hard to not be able to do that.”

“It’s not entirely your fault...I haven’t done a great job of keeping to our plans.” You hang your head. “College takes up so much of my time with exams and study groups and whatever, and then this happens…”

Sicheng sets the spoon down in the bowl. “But...I think that’s life. I shouldn’t get mad with you about it. Some things are just out of our control. Seriously, though, I’m really glad that you always focus on your studies. You should. Don’t let me or anything else stop you from making a life for yourself.”

Sighing quietly, you place your hand on Sicheng’s knee, wanting to hold his hand although he’s currently occupied with holding your soup. You settle for tracing your fingertip across the bone of his knee, feeling the solidity of it. It somehow makes you feel grounded. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Y/N.” He gives you a bittersweet look and carefully shifts the bowl to his right hand so he can rest his other hand on top of yours. That single gesture makes you want to never let go.

As the night wears on, you assume Sicheng will be readying himself to go back to the dorm soon. The idea of that makes you sad, but you don’t express that aloud; you don’t want to keep him any longer than he should stay. The time on your phone shows it’s almost 1 a.m., and the members will start wondering when he’ll get back if they aren’t already.

However, Sicheng already has different plans of his own.

From where he lies on the bed beside you, he watches you as you recline against the pillows, your eyes dropping a little while you both watch TV. He moves a curly strand of hair out of your face, and you startle a little at the tickle of his fingers on your skin. “Y/N. Do you want me to stay? I mean, I was already planning to...but only if you’re okay with it.”

“Is that a good idea? You could get sick. Actually, you’ve probably already caught all my germs from being here for so long...”

Sicheng shakes his head. “You’re sick. I won’t leave you alone here.”

“But you have schedules and all that, you can’t do those if you catch my cold—”

Sicheng cups your cheek. “Y/N. You can make 100 reasons why I shouldn’t be here, but that doesn’t mean I’ll leave you by yourself like this.”

You sigh and turn to face him. You press your forehead to his, think better of it for a moment, and then do it again anyway. “Okay. Please stay.” Sicheng lifts his head from yours to kiss your forehead, and the soft press of his lips makes you momentarily forget about all of your pains.

You go through your bedtime routine with Sicheng’s help, which feels incredibly nice to do after the last couple days have been spent just falling into bed and feeling super crusty about it. He puts your moisturizer on your face and ties your hair up for you in the mirror, which makes you smile at your reflection.

“Can you get me my bonnet?” you say after he finishes with your hair.

“Bonnet…?”

It’s right then when you realize he hasn’t seen you in a bonnet before. The times you’ve been to his dorm or he’s been at your place, neither of you could spend the night.

You try not to laugh at the confusion on his face. “It’s on the dresser,” you say. “It’s pink. You should recognize it as soon as you see it.”

Sicheng wanders back into your bedroom to find it, though you can almost see the question mark floating above his head. Luckily, he’s successful in his quest and comes back with the pink bonnet after a few moments. “You wear this? What does it do?”

“It protects my hair from breaking,” you tell him. “Cotton pillows are not good for my hair.”

Sicheng nods and fixes your bonnet on your head, his fingers brushing against your hot cheek as he brings his arms back down. “Protects your hair? Hm...should I be wearing one of these too? We could match.”

You burst out in laughter, for real this time, and it makes you cough right after. Sicheng rubs your chest for comfort. “I think you’ll be fine without one, Sicheng.”

Soon enough, you’re both tucked into bed, your room dark and quiet and warm. The snow is still coming down outside, and it’ll probably be high enough to build a snowman with by the time morning comes. You’ll save all that for when you get better, though.

Sicheng wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you closer into his body and tucking you against him as if sheer proximity could cure you of your cold. You smile softly at his actions and tuck your face into his chest, drifting into a sleep that’s more peaceful than any you’ve had in days.

Maybe it won’t cure your sickness, but it is definitely mending the sadness you’d been feeling for so long.

[nighthaikyuu]

letters | 02

they were just words on pieces of paper. words he never wrote himself. but those words were enough to make you go from living a fairytale relationship to one filled with burning questions, envy and uncertainty.

m.list ch.1 ↞ ch. 2 ↠ ch.3

pairing: kuroo tetsuro + gf! reader

word count: 1.8k 

genre: established relationship! au + angst, fluff

previously...

Taking the letters out, your eyes scanned for the dates. To your dismay, many of them were sent to him after you guys got together. Taking a deep breath, your grip on the letters tightened before you let yourself fall into a deeper hole, feeling your heart shatter as you read every single word, one after the other. 

❝Kuroo, 

I miss you. 

except you probably already know that right? after all, I've only said it about a million times in these letters.... i sometimes wonder whether you even read them when you never reply, but after everything I did it wouldn’t surprise me if you saw these and just ripped them apart. 

god, I miss you so much kuroo. ever since that day, every day without you has been a reminder of how badly I messed up, how badly I fucked up and let you go. i’ll never forgive myself for that.❞

You quickly realized maybe this was why Kuroo never brought up his past relationship to you. From what you read, it wasn’t hard to see that it didn’t end well. 

Thoughts raced through your mind, what did happen? You wondered if she cheated on him, but the thought in itself caused a surge of anger within you. Placing the letter back into the box, you read the next one. 

❝Kuroo, 

sometimes I think about the nights we spent just lying outside the gym after practice, staring at the stars as we whispered promises of forever’s and always’ to each other. 

life is a funny thing isn’t it? 

but I meant every word kuroo, every single word. I wasn’t able to keep up my promises but I can promise you every word I said was true and genuine. I loved you so much, and I still do and forever will.❞

Biting down on your lip, you hated how the feeling of jealousy for this girl you didn’t know, burned through your veins. You felt pathetic, after all this was a relationship that was over yet you couldn’t help but feel it was anything but that. 

 ❝Kuroo, 

do you know how many times I’ve blocked and unblocked you on social media? while I never wanted to see you again because your face was the constant reminder of the biggest thing I lost in my life, I couldn’t keep away. not from you kuroo, not when I still see the others around and they pretend to be nice but I know they all hate me for what I did. 

last night I visited nekoma, and that night I went back and unblocked you. however, I really wish I hadn’t. 

she makes you happy, doesn't she? 

it hurt a lot to see. I saw you took her to where you promised we’d go together one day. but more than that, it hurt to see the way you smiled at her, how your eyes were filled with so much affection and adoration for her. it hurt to know I used to be the one who saw those eyes everyday once. how badly I wish I was her.❞

At the mention of you in the letter, your chest tightened. So she did know you existed. 

You frowned softly when you read about the picture she had seen on his social media. The very first couple picture he had posted of you was from the trip the two of you took to the beach during a long weekend break from school. You had always remembered that trip as the time where you really fell for Kuroo, the night where you were lying on the beach with him as you whispered your very first I love you’s to each other, would be something you’d never forget. 

But now you felt sick. 

❝I'm sorry, 

god, kuroo please, please I'm so sorry. please respond to my letters, I don’t know what to do anymore. 

I'm still so in love with you kuroo, from the day I saw you to when I broke your heart, to now. I never stopped and I never will.  please forgive me and come back to me. I promise I'll be better, I promise you kuroo. I still must be there in your heart, please just give me one more chance. ❞

Sitting there as you finished the most recently dated letter, a sudden wave of emptiness washed over you. You had a million questions. You wanted to know the meaning behind every word, every sentence and every letter she had sent Kuroo. 

But more than that, you wanted to know why he still kept them. 

But you couldn’t. You didn’t have the courage nor the strength to ask them or to find the answers. You were too scared. 

You felt the corners of your eyes sting as dangerous thoughts plagued your already weakened mind. Why didn't he throw them away? Was he still not over her? Did he still love her? 

As the voices in your head only got louder, screaming as they overtook the ones   that attempted to give you hope, you pulled your knees to your chest as you choked back a sob. 

Oh how unfair life is. 

The next time you saw Kuroo was that following night. It was finally the end of the week, and like every Friday the both of you sat on the couch with bowls of popcorn in your lap as you flipped through Netflix to find a movie to watch. 

Usually you’d be cuddled up by his side, head against his chest as he’d rest his in the crook of your neck. Today, you found it difficult to even look his way. 

You knew you had to play it off better than this. Kuroo was quick to realize when things were wrong and it was only a matter of time before you ran out of random excuses. 

“Hey, you okay?” a voice whispered beside you. 

Guess you were already too late. 

Turning to your side, you forced a soft smile on your face before nodding at Kuroo, “Yeah, think I’m just tired this week is all.” 

Concern washed over his features. Frowning, he asked, “You wanna talk about it?” 

"No!” you sputtered out as you eyes went wide. You watched as Kuroo blinked at you in surprise before you immediately shook your head, chuckling nervously, as you attempted to cover up your sudden outburst. “No, it’s okay...it’s nothing new or anything. Just classes and club responsibilities all piling on top of each other, ya know?” 

To that, Kuroo simply nodded but you didn’t fail to notice the skeptical look he gave you as you quickly turned your attention back to the screen in front of you, keeping your face as stoic as possible despite the million thoughts and emotions that ran through you at that moment. 

You were such an idiot. 

After what seemed like nearly forever, the movie came to an end. Grabbing the remote off of the coffee table, you turned off the TV with a yawn as you got up from the couch and stretched your arms up in the air. 

“Kuroo, I should probably get going—Oh!” you yelped in slight surprise as you felt your boyfriend wrap his arms around your waist, his head nestling into the crook of your neck. 

“Mmm, don’t go~” he whispered softly into your ear, “Why don’t you stay over tonight, huh?” 

You almost let out a bitter laugh. 

Any other day and you would’ve gladly accepted, easily making your way into his room to quickly find one of his t-shirts you could wear to bed. 

But there you stood, staring at the door to his room and you instantly felt nauseous. Today, that was the last thing you could do. Not when you’d be sleeping right above the scraps of paper stuffed in a box hidden away from you, right above a secret that Kuroo had kept from you, and that you had found out about. 

Turning around in his arms, you looked up at Kuroo who stared down at you with a sleepy expression; his eyelids were drooping as he gave you a soft smile, lips in a small pout. All you wanted to do was grab his face and pull him into a kiss, to feel that adorable pout against your lips. 

If only I hadn’t found the box... you thought to yourself, biting the insides of your cheeks.

No, if only Kuroo hadn’t kept those letters. you corrected yourself. If only he had thrown them away, you would’ve never found them and you wouldn’t be here, feeling like the world’s biggest joke. 

As you pulled yourself from his grasp, you watched as his pout dissolved into a small frown as you said softly, “I don’t think I can tonight Kuroo, maybe some other time, hmm?” 

Frown deepening, Kuroo only pulled you closer before engulfing you into his arms, your head resting against his chest as he held you tighter. The both of you stood that way for a while until you heard him finally sigh, “Okay, I’ll let you go then.”

Pulling away, Kuroo gave you a soft smile before cupping your face with one hand, fingers grazing your cheeks gently as he started to lean in. 

You felt a sinking feeling erupt in your stomach once you knew exactly what was about to happen. 

Oh god, what should I do? Should I just let him? Will he able to tell something’s off? This is too much—!

Just then, you felt his lips brush against your forehead, kissing it firmly before pulling away slowly. 

Your eyes that had been squeezed shut in fear, opened slowly as you blinked at him in surprise. You almost swore he was going to kiss you...

“Goodnight Y/N.” he said softly, breaking you out of your thoughts.

Nodding, you whispered back a goodnight kuroo before grabbing your things and heading to the door. Opening the door, you turned around and gave him a small wave, which he returned back with a smile. 

Finally stepping outside of his apartment, you let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding in this whole time. Your whole chest felt like it was on fire, like you had been breathing smoke for the last couple hours from the fire that had been lit in your heart ever since you laid your eyes on those goddamn letters. 

Running your hands through your hair, you let out a soft groan of frustration. It hadn’t even been a day and you were barely able to make it through without wanting to expose everything. 

“You can do it Y/N.” you whispered firmly to yourself, “You just need some time.” 

You didn't exactly know what you were talking about. You didn’t necessarily have a plan either. Were you just going to ignore that the letters existed? Were you hoping on just forgetting they existed? Or were you just waiting for the right day and time to tell Kuroo what you had accidentally found?

Shaking your head, you brushed the questions away. They could wait. 

Now all you wanted to do was get back to your room and get under your sheets, and hopefully not cry yourself to sleep. 

general taglist

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[alexawynters]

TW

Venting. Don’t take this too seriously it’s fine I’m fine.

So my recent ex gf of 8 months (I count the time we were fucking around as well as dating bc let’s not lie I caught feels early because I’m pathetic) who broke up with me a little over two months ago is now hooking up with one of my closest friends.

Its cool. I still cry myself to sleep, have nightmares, and wake up crying throughout the night but it’s fine. I spend more time drunk than sober (I had been doing so well! It was two years since I was last an alcoholic) and replaying every red flag, every moment where I thought to myself “you know, I don’t think she really likes me, you don’t treat the people you like this way right?” And then my dumb desperate ass was like “no we’re going to overlook this because surely she would tell me right? Besides I’m asking for too much, I should just be grateful she even expressed any interest at all. Stop being needy. Stop asking for anything other than what she is giving you because you’re lucky she’s even with you, what’s wrong with you?

Like. The first two months we were together? I called my besties every other week crying because I felt like a human sex toy. She didn’t even seem to want to do relationship things. I didn’t understand why she even asked me out, I had told her before we got together if all she wanted to be was fwb that was okay. But she asked me out so I was like okay cool. You want to date me. As in be in a relationship. I’m excited for this. Let’s do relationship things. We didn’t often do relationship things. We did sexual ones instead.

Then after two months suddenly the sex all but stopped. I thought to myself okay cool every relationship hits a plateau, and levels out. This is normal. Little did I know that was the slow death of us. The. I was calling my besties every other week again, still crying, begging to know what I was doing wrong. Why wasn’t I good enough? Why didn’t she seem interested but was still with me? What was I doing wrong? What was I not doing enough of, or too much of, or just not doing right? What was wrong with me that I couldn’t seem to interest her beyond the bare bones minimum?

I found myself begging for her to spend time with me. I lived with roommates who were our friends, and it always felt like she wanted to spend more time with them than me. I had to ask her if we could have some “just us” nights which, rarely were ever actually just us unless we went out. There were times she would literally, every five minutes look out the window to see when my roommates were home, and I was like ???? Do you not want to spend time with me? She would go to the kitchen to get something and be gone for twenty minutes to an hour at a time, having gotten distracted and hanging out with them. Which isn’t inherently bad to be clear but it happened so often and I wondered. I never forgot about her when I was leaving the room and got stopped for a conversation. If I knew I was going to be long I would text her to invite her or let her know.

I had even told her if she wants to just hang out with them, she could. I genuinely wouldn’t have minded that. Have fun with your friends, you should. I could hang out in my room and be me (I’m incredibly introverted, autistic, and have anxiety, and the living situation had me ~*stressed*~ out) but she didn’t want to do that.

If we were out on a date, she was almost always texting, or snap chatting somebody else. I always tried to make it a point to focus on us when we were in dates, but it never felt reciprocated. I brought it up and then felt like an asshole for already asking for just us time, and now to please not be on your phone when we’re on a date. She looked so sad, like I had scolded her. I would replay it over and over in my head - I tried to be gentle and polite, not accusing or angry. I checked my words carefully and ran them by multiple people to try to be as non aggressive and non accusatory as I could before I ever spoke them to her. Clearly I didn’t succeed.

She has OCD (nothing against it and I usually found it endearing) and would sometimes go into a loop. I always tried to help her but usually just ended up frustrating her. She snapped at me on occasions including in front of my friends and didn’t often apologize for it. Something my friends brought up after she did it in front of them, and I made excuses for it. She was stressed out, I would be too, stop being so hard on her.

She never planned anything with me, I always had to do it. I brushed it off as her having anxiety and not liking planning, but when she asked me “oh we’re still doing that?” for the trip for my nieces wedding in which I was taking her to meet my (extremely judgey) family, the trip that I had been updating her on weekly about the plans trying to get any input from her on, the trip that I had to pull in favors for and grovel to get the time off to go to? I should have said never mind and cancelled it.

She didn’t even help plan my birthday. My best friends did, and showed me the texts where they were getting frustrated with her lack of input on it because she’s my girlfriend and surely she would want to participate in that? Want to help surprise me? It was my first surprise party ever. I told her thank you and she acted like she had absolutely had a hand in planning. Meanwhile my friends all got together while she and I were gone to vent about how pisses they were at her for her lack of effort.

I have some childhood trauma and I don’t like to be touched sexually. I’ll touch my partner and even enjoy it but I don’t like being touched. It triggers me. But she said no less than three times to different people “yeah I’ve still never gone down on a girl or anything” which made me feel like I wasn’t being a good enough girlfriend. So I got sex therapy. I worked through it as best I could. Not for me. I didn’t want to be touched that way but I wanted my girlfriend to be happy. I wanted to do right by her and give her everything she wanted or needed in a relationship. Right about this time is where the sex stopped. She also stopped flirting or doing things she used to do before we started/right as we started dating that were clear indicators that she liked me. (I am an oblivious idiot)

I started to get worried. Why was I working this hard if she didn’t actually want to touch me? I was happy not being touched, but now I was starting to think something was wrong. I was starting to feel like she didn’t even want me. I started asking for sex as reassurance that she was still interested. Still attracted.

She called me a horn dog.

Not just to me but also later to my best friend. I was so mortified I wanted to jump out of the window and run into traffic. *I* was a horndog? All I wanted was affection and reassurance. She said her love language was physical affection and so was mine but she rarely gave me the cuddles I needed. I would ask her for “pets” - where she would play with my hair or just run her hand up and down my arm. This for me is intimacy. I had no problems doing it for her ever but she would get annoyed when I asked, saying it was hard for her to focus on the tv.

Okay? So? I’m not asking much, I didn’t think. I stopped paying attention to the tv when I was petting her. I made her my whole focus so she would feel loved. I mean unless it was like Harry Potter but I would be mindful to alternate so she wouldn’t be left out.

She only introduced me to one of her friends (who I thought was pretty cool but I worry she hates me so I just don’t talk to her now). At first I thought this was because she was in the closet. To be clear I never had a problem with that. I would never push someone to come out before they were ready and I hate movies and media that have the partner doing that. It’s shitty and dangerous. If she felt safer in the closet more power to her. I actively went to bat for protecting that secret for her. Sometimes our friends would forget and tag her in shit that would out her. I would be in their texts and calling them immediately explaining the situation and asking them to untag or take the post down. I’m not saying that as any sort of bragging. That’s literally the least I could do. I’m saying it to illustrate that I don’t have a problem with her being in the closet. But then she told me her friends knew about us. So I was like okay cool you’ve met all of my friends and are part of the group. I’d like to meet your friends. “Um.. they’re just really busy”. I mean. Yeah so are my friends and I didn’t mean like right now I just meant maybe mention it to them and we can some time schedule a hang out. “They’re just really busy”. Red flag but okay. Gonna just. Overlook this one too. It’s fine.

I spent more nights when she visited waiting for her to fall asleep so I could cry myself to sleep over how worthless I felt. Why was I doing this? Everything hurt but maybe I was just asking too much. Had my expectations too high. I’ve been told that before. Usually by people who have left me, those who stay (and my therapist) insist I’ve been asking for the bare minimum. To this day I still don’t know. If all you get is nothing , surely you are nothing? You don’t deserve to ask for more.

By June I started thinking she’s not happy with me. I’m not the one she wants. I don’t think much of myself. I don’t think I’m worth anything. I wrote her a letter that sat in my desk at work, basically saying that she deserved to be happy. She deserved to be with someone who sparks excitement, joy, and romance in her. Someone she wants to introduce to her friends (that she’s out to). Someone that she wants to spend time with and forgets about anyone else (within reason obviously, not like actually forgetting the world friends and responsibilities). Someone she is actually excited to spend time with and looks forward to. Someone that makes her not want to cancel every other date. She shouldn’t settle, even if it’s for me.

It broke my heart to write that letter. I was going to give it to her after her birthday because I didn’t want to be a sick and break up with her right before/on her birthday. Turns out she beat me to the punch and dumped me after I took her home.

I don’t know why I was surprised. The entire relationship things didn’t feel right. I always felt like I was doing something wrong. People in my life always seem to like the idea of me and then when they get to see the real me suddenly it’s like oops too much I’m out. Or alternatively they just.. they think I’m interesting and then lose interest.

My birth mother rejected me not once but twice. My adoptive mother was thrilled at the idea of me until I got to be about 4 and she realized something wasn’t quite right. My dad doesn’t care enough about me to stop drinking. Almost every single best friend I’ve ever had growing up has left usually because of some stupid shit I’ve done or because they’re embarrassed of me. Cheryl thought I was some monster out to hurt my friends (even when said “hurt” friend who was actually there went to bat for me and confirmed that I was literally just in the wrong place at the wrong time). Holly stopped caring. Brie never cared. Johanna only cared when she could use her affection of me to hurt someone else she was being petty with. Lissa only wanted someone she could bully, and even once she had me it wasn’t enough. Jerika definitely didn’t want me, and even my closest friend of 17 years Amy left for three months in which I genuinely thought she wasn’t coming back because I had the audacity to try to help her out of a panic attack. Jocelyn couldn’t stand me for more than a week at a time and roxii didn’t have the time of day for me after Americorps.

I feel like my whole life has just been a game of measurements that’s found me wanting. I tried. I tried so hard and I know I didn’t succeed I know there were things I could have done differently with my latest ex. Things I could have done better. I’ve never wanted anything to work so much in my life. Never tried so hard and still I wasn’t enough. I’m never enough.

I watched her, the woman that I was in love with, slowly lose interest in me over the course of about 4 months. Do you know what that’s like? What that does to you? The more I tried, the quicker she seemed to fade. I kept thinking if I just try harder, I’m just not doing, saying the right things. I read every book on relationships I could get my hands on (blatantly ignoring the parts that told me I should see the red flags for what they were and step away). I took notes. I watched therapy videos. I put to work every therapy technique I had ever learned. I wasn’t perfect but I was going to give this everything I had. Just once I didn’t want anyone to be able to say I didn’t try. I wanted to be as healthy, loving and supportive of a partner as I could because I loved her and didn’t want to hurt her. I knew that I had a lot of personal growth that I had been working on before I met her and I wanted to really ramp that up while I was with her to be good to her. To be good for her.

I’m not even mad. My friends say I should be. They’re mad on my behalf and I’m the one telling them to be nice, and defending her. Part of me thinks they’re right but mostly, mostly I think I’m just a steaming pile of shit and I deserved this.

I wasn’t enough. I’m tired of not being enough. I’m tired of fighting the universe showing me over, and over, and over, and over, and over again how absolutely worthless, not shit I am.

When she broke up with me I told her I felt like I was losing one of my best friends. She said we’re still friends I’m still going to be in your life and we will still talk. Turns out that’s only if I initiate and usually shortly after she shuts it down. So. I guess not.

I asked her one thing and that was when (not if because obviously when, I mean if you saw her you would understand) she moved on if she could just not bring the new person around for the first few months so I didn’t have to see it immediately I would appreciate it and she was like yeah for sure. I told her I wanted her to be happy and I meant it. I just didn’t realize it was going to be barely over 2 months and with one of my good friends.

To be clear she can date whomever she wants. I just thought there might have been more time between them showing up publicly and honestly? Even if her friend was single, interested in me, and I interested in her, I wouldn’t have dated her friend. Even if the positions were reversed and I actually broke up with her first, I wouldn’t have dated her friend. I would imagine that would hurt and I never want to hurt her. Ever. I just.. I wouldn’t have done it. And then she told my one best friend to not tell my other best friend or me and I’m like?? So you know this is a little shady and you’re still gonna?? Like you literally couldn’t wake a couple more months? Just til after Friendsgiving so I don’t have to come to a group event and plaster on a smile when it makes me want to stab myself in the heart.

Alright. Well. Good for her. And I mean that. I just.. can’t see that right now so I’m not seeing any of them. I heard the song Reminds me of you by Kim petras today “cut off all my friends because they remind me of you” and literally felt punched in the gut. Like yep. Too right. Because what am I supposed to go go hang out with my closest friends, where she and her new partner are, and fake a smile? I’m barely holding it together. There’s literally not a day in which I don’t want to kill myself.

Not because she broke up with me. Because I’m tired of being worthless to everyone I care about. Like why the fuck am I even here? Is this what I was born for? To be trash? To be used by people until they find someone better? Or to be someone’s quirky new friend until they find out my quirks are not an act? Or for people to think Im interesting only to slowly realize that I’m not and want nothing to do with me?

I think about all the things I’ve survived that I shouldn’t have and get frustrated because wHY? Why couldnt I just have died and been done with everything? I said to Nathan the other day that at some point I have to realize that the common denominator here is me. Clearly I am the problem. Clearly I am worthless and it’s time to fucking accept that. His reply was that it’s easy to think that you’re the common denominator when it’s your life but that’s just because you’re stuck in it. Idk man. I don’t think I have just extraordinarily shitty luck. I think it’s just me.

I am worthless. Not shit. To anyone. There are some who have stayed but it’s literally just a matter of time until they leave. It’s inevitable, and I’m tired of trying to pretend it’s not. I’m tired of trying to pretend I’m worth something to anyone. I’m tired of begging people to care about me, family, friends, partners. I’m just tired. So tired. Im tired of being tired.

Fuck my life insurance policy. The majority of the people on it don’t care about me anyway, so fuck it if it doesn’t pay out. It wouldn’t be my problem. Sitting here trying to think of ways that wouldn’t traumatize my roommates, would be guaranteed, relatively pain free, and wouldn’t put anyone else at risk. And then I remember I’m a coward and if I fuck it up then there goes what little I have made of my career, I’d lose my job (not that I’m thriving anyway), I’d probably be permanently damaged in ways that would then make me a burden to my parents.

Maybe I can’t kill myself, but somebody else sure could. I could find somebody abusive and just throw myself into that until one day they take it too far. That’s about what I deserve. And then my policy would pay out and the people I live most would be taken care of, regardless of how their treatment of me makes me feel. Maybe I could do some good in this world. The only good I’ll have ever done but it has to count for something right? Who am I kidding nothing I do counts for anything but I’m crazy and keep doing the same things expecting different results.

It’s funny. The one person who wants to leave me the most, can’t. I wish I could though.

Don’t take this too seriously I’m venting. it’s fine, I’m fine.

[emilysarmstrong]

THIS IS GONNA BE A RANT AND I'M ON MOBILE SO NO READMORE FOR Y'ALL, YE HAVE BEEN WARNED

We managed to go on a week long vacation with my gf's parents (in the house that belonged to her great-grandpa who won it on a game of cards, but that's another story) but god, at what cost

Our cat couldn't come with us on the grounds of my gf's mom being severely allergic, so we were waiting for The Roommate to come back so she could watch over her (and her own cat too), but after two weeks (of a supposedly ONE WEEK TRIP) she finally told us that she was only coming back TWO DAYS AFTER my gf's parents were supposed to be back so no fucking vacation for us I guess?

We wanted at least to spend a weekend away from this house that has been in the middle of a moving since GODDAMN MARCH full of boxes and trash everywhere, so we had everything set up for gf's uncle to come over and feed the cats for two days. Once we finally got to the vacation spot, The Roommate calls us to say that she got someone to watch the cats.

Time to drive ALL THE WAY BACK to relieve the aforementioned uncle from duty and bring our keys to the person who was supposed to watch the cats. Turns out it's this old judgy neighbour lady who was annoyed that we wanted to show her where the cat food and litter were, where we had made a neat pile of clean pet bowls and plates for them, the lists with how much and how many portions to feed them, our phone numbers... and then she got pissy because "[Roommate] said I only had to feed the cats once a day"

EXCUSE ME?

WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO SURVIVE ON ONE MEAL AND A SINGLE GLASS OF WATER A DAY, ELIZABETH?

Anyway we reiterated the importance of getting the cats fed and their water changed twice a day, and hoped The Roommate had chosen a dependable person to take care of the cats

*narrator's voiceover* turns out, in fact, that she hadn't

Roommate calls us two days later to say that the catsitter called her with her panties in a twist because there were maggots in the cat food and she had to toss it all away, that she was calling another lady to pick up the catsitting, that in the end the new lady was going to buy more cat food, and and and

WHOA MCFUCKING THERE, PARDNER

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE HAD TO THROW AWAY OUR CAT'S FOOD"

"It's okay, she handled it"

"But we have enough food, there's a metal box full of wet food and a full bag of kibble"

"It's okay, she handled it"

"We have to come back to town tomorrow to get our covid vaccine shots, if there's the need for more food we can stop by the pet shop on the way"

"It's okay, she handled it"

The gods gifted me with many virtues

Patience is not one of them

And at this point the gf was already restraining me to not yell at the phone, and we agreed on not stopping by on Monday to not stress the cats further with showing up and going away, and trusting the new caretaker, that had already watched over The Roommate's cat before, to not be a complete moron

We overestimated her

We came back today to find the new caretaker, who did not even invite us in for a coffee, all pissy about The Penny having bitten her this morning when "all I did was trying to pet her". She gave us back our keys and we walked into our apartment, where The Penny was already screaming her little lungs out

The apartment

Was

A

Mess.

Penny's litter box hadn't been cleaned, at all, ever since we left

She had one bowl of water instead of the two we had left

The tray we place her bowls on was FILTHY

And I don't know what the fuck was in her kibble bowl, but boy

It was NOT the kibble that we had prepared for the week and left in a glass jar right in front of the tray

We thought that was all, but nope! Walking into the kitchen made the nightmare even worse! The food that we had set aside for the cats, that the lady claimed was gone so fast because it was filling with maggots, was still sealed on the shelf with the little notes on how to portion it attached. We had laid out wet food for a week, of which not even HALF had been used, and The Roommate's cat's kibble didn't even seem to have been touched. Instead, there were two boxes and a bag of SHIT ASS cat food of a brand we had never seen before, full of grains and coloring and other bullshit, not to mention the bag of kibble for fixed cats. WE are responsible pet owners that fixed our baby as soon as she was old enough, but The Roommate refuses to do the same to her cat (that has been constantly in heat for a while, mind you) but feeds her kibble for sterilized cats. If you're wondering if this makes her cat underweight and low energy, well, BINGO! We had finally convinced her to change into better kibble, and this FUCKER comes around and buys this shit under the premise that "poor kitty cat had no food" while there were TWO BAGS IN THE KITCHEN AND PENNY'S JAR IN OUR ROOM

And the bowls. My good lord, the bowls.

Penny eats out of steel bowls that we wash after every meal, and the water one gets washed once a day. The Roommate isn't nearly as organized with her cat's stuff, but she keeps telling everyone who listens for at least ten seconds about how her cat's whiskers are particularly sensitive and therefore she cannot eat out of regular pet bowls (instead she keeps feeding the cat in plastic plates that only get washed once a blue moon but we'll get to that in another ranty post). We specified on the notes taped to the food shelf that she has to be fed on open plate, and what did the asshole do? WELL, OBVIOUSLY NOT THAT. She grabbed a random Penny bowl and filled it with kibble, another random Penny bowl and filled it with water. And completely ignored the tray we had laid out for the other cat, with her little plate and the wider water bowl, putting the "meal" she prepared on the kitchen counter instead

Unlike Penny's litter box, that hadn't seen a scoop since we left the house, the other cat's stuff had been cleaned. Once. And the bag with the litter trash was still open in the bathroom for everyone to see and smell, because obviously, it's not like the cat would maybe just maybe like to have a room that doesn't smell of her own fucking shit, specially if said room is right besides the one where she sleeps

Now it's the following morning and I'm still seething, I cannot believe the fucking audacity. We would happily (okay, maybe not happily, but we definitely would) skip the vacation if there was no one to watch the cats. They're little living creatures that need attention, and we happily provide when we're around. It's not a crime to say "I can't watch over your pets, sorry", it doesn't make you a horrible, rude, inconsiderate person. You know what does, though? ACCEPTING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR SOMEONE'S PET AND DOING A SHIT ASS JOB OF IT

We laid out everything. We left clean bowls and plenty of kibble and wet food. We left clean scoops to clean their litter boxes. We explained everything and literally left a phone number taped to the food shelf in case they needed us for anything. Instead, the first bitch called The Roommate to complain and the second one just deadass did whatever the fuck she wanted (also I'm convinced that she was overfeeding the cats kibble and not giving them wet food to avoid maggots instead of, you know, sticking around until the cats finished eating and putting the food away when they did. Which means The Penny gained weight in this week, a LOT of it). And ignoring the things we had prepared and explained with so much care to 1) make their lives easier and 2) MAKE IT AS SAFE AND NOT STRESSFUL FOR THE CATS AS POSSIBLE.

We've been home for twelve hours and Penny still hasn't stopped being whiny, which I'm pretty sure is only partly because she is annoyed at us for spending a long time away, but also because she has been bored out of her mind, since these people act like cats are part of the furniture and don't need attention besides some horrible slop thrown into their food bowls. Our cat missed having play time with her wand toys, hanging out with us while we watch tv, eating together (obviously, her having a little bowl of cat food while we eat human food, that we do NOT give her because we aren't stupid), sleeping in the same bed. Of course you're not mandated to do that if you're just hopping by to check on the cats and give them food, but don't act like they're furniture and then get pissy when they try to bite you because they're under stimulated! CATS NEED TO HUNT, and if you don't provide a prey in the form of a toy they're gonna hunt your fucking fingers, and my only regret is that Penpen didn't rip that asshole's hand off

I don't think there is a point to this post, I'm just angry and annoyed and frustrated, but typing everything out in an angry rant is better than yelling and scaring my already sad toebean of a cat, I guess?

Anyway if you read all of this I'm sorry and have a picture of Her Catship The Penny Dreadful

[colemacgrathtkz]

Buying time

Previously. Next

Fair warning: This one is long.

A few days after her return, Noceda made her way into the Blight manor. She hadn't seen anyone else from the "good old days".

Today, Amity should be finished moving back into her old room. Now that the "empress" had returned, Luz needed a place to stay.

The Owl house didn't seem like it would be accepting new tenants. Amity said she could stay at the "New Coven" HQ. Belos's former castle might as well be put to good use.

Stepping through the front door, she expected to be greeted by either stuffy parents or mischievous siblings. Neither seemed to be home. Just a familiar face waiting to report her news.

Luz: "Good afternoon, my lovely gf! I'm ready for my homecoming party!"

Amity: "I've already updated Willow and Augustus. They should be ready to speak with you after some time."

Luz(folding her arms): "Why so formal, Blight? Is it the house? Maybe we should get our own-".

Amity: "Everyone's going to need time to take all this in, even me. But what about you? Any trouble moving back into your old castle?"

Luz (sarcastically): " You mean Belos's hand-me-downs? You know, after I killed him. Not so bad once you get passed the stares and constant reminders of who I was."

Amity: "Sorry."

Wait, why was she apologizing?

Luz nonchalantly shrugged.

Luz: "Meh, there was vacancy."

Speaking of vacancy, even for a big house, this was unusually quiet.

Luz( jokingly): "So, when's the party? I want to see everyone. Where are they?"

Amity: "That's going to have to wait. My family's already on their way to a conference. We'll be gone for four days."

Luz: "Sounds like high class stuff. Perfect for a romantic getaway, like in the movies. Ok, I'm in!"

Amity: "You can't come."

Luz( pouting): "Huh, why not? I was technically at the top of this food chain. What could possibly stop this empress from returning to high class society?"

Amity: "Me. Remember, everyone was afraid of you. You're supposed to be a secret. Everyone at HQ has orders not to mention you being back."

Sticking her hands in her pockets, the sulking latina turned to leave.

Luz: "Fine! I'll just hang out with Willow and Gus."

Amity: "Those two are busy. Willow has official coven business. Augustus works with his father. They can't drop everything just because you're back."

Stopping mid step, she glanced back to hear about the others.

Luz: "Eda? King?"

Amity dodged her gaze.

Amity: "We haven't been able to reach them. They left Bonesborough to cure the curse... with Lilth."

For a brief moment, red flickered in Luz's eyes. Unfortunately, Amity caught glimpse of that. She made her way to the staircase.

Amity: "Enjoy the alone time."

Being left alone wasn't a fun thought.

Luz: "Hold on, you sure there's no way I could tag along?"

Amity: "Not without some assurances."

Luz: "Like a certain glowing circle floating in midair?"

Got her...

Amity: "The everlasting oath will only work if we're both on board with this. If you're willing to promise give up your magic, it could work. Just for four days, ok? I want to breathe easy. "

Luz: "Ok, but on one condition. We don't tell anyone else about this. There's probably a line of witches who want to take a shot at me."

A purple halo was spawned before them. Amity held her hand out, ready to begin. But just as Luz held out hers, it crackled. A burst of red in its hue, it zapped both their wrists before dissolving. The slight scorch marks seemed to send a clear message.

Amity( disappointed): "I knew this wouldn't work."

Luz: "Hang on, one more time. Close your eyes."

If you looked up "suspicious" in the dictionary, you'd see this moment.

Amity's narrowed eyes tried to read Luz's intentions. The suspect raised her right hand and put the other one on her chest.

Luz: "No tricks, I swear."

Complying with her request, Amity didn't peek.

Luz's eyes darted for the closest reflective object. Settling on a mirror, she knew who else was staring back.

Luz( mouthing the words): "Come on, help me out here."

Trying once more, two hands joined together without fail.

Luz: "See? No sweat. Now, when do we leave?"

Amity: "Tonight, I'm almost done packing. But there's something else I've got to say. My family's arranged for all of us to have our own rooms, for privacy. So..."

Amity brought a hand to Luz's face, smiling.

Amity( patting Luz's cheek): "Good luck finding a last minute vacancy."

And with that, a slack jawed girl was left to wait at the door.

Luz: "Fine, I don't need magic. I've got a dangerous rep!"

[The morning after Luz's return, at New Coven HQ]

Gus: "We've got to drop everything and deal with this!"

Amity: "No, we need to focus. How did she even get here?"

Willow(sarcastically): "Maybe you can find the answer at your next book club meeting? Spoiler alert! Luz's pages ahead of us."

Gus has been working with his father. Though, keeping his finger on the town's pulse was definitely a useful thing. From hearing rumors to reading reports, Gus was the group's ears.

He'd barged into Amity's briefing. Reports of crystal balls disappearing overnight. That definitely seemed like New Coven business.

Of course, it seemed like a good time to inform them of last night's visitor.

Gus: "This can't a coincidence. First, she shows up. Then, robberies happen all over town, overnight! What next? The town gets knee deep in a potion flood?"

Willow: "That doesn't sound that bad, all things considered."

Gus(hysterical): "Oh, sure! Why don't we just ask our former dictator? Hey, Luz, how bad are things going to get?"

They took the news about as well as could be expected.

Gus: "We can't just ask her. She'd probably get scary and wipe out the town."

Willow( putting a hand on Gus's shoulder): " Come on, Gus, this is Luz we're talking about. She's got a big imagination. She'd probably come up with something way worse."

Ok, that's enough panicking.

Amity: "She's not going to wipe out Bonesborough... today. Look, right now we've got questions that need answers. And each of us still have jobs to do. Augustus, I want you to keep up to date on the investigations. Willow, I need you to go to the tree. The portal's gone, but there might be something left behind. Anything that could give us a hint.

Get to it!"

This was normally the part where everyone's dismissed. But Willow waited to shut the door behind Gus.

Willow: "Now that he's gone, we need to clear the air."

Amity just sat down, resting her head on her arms.

Willow: "Do you know why I became your personal assistant?"

Amity(sheepish): "Because you're that nice of a witch and couldn't let me fall apart?"

Willow: "Luz meant alot to us. But she meant a whole lot to you. If anyone was going to get her back, it was you. You were the key to seeing her again. And I wanted to be there to see my friend again.

...

Guess I dropped the ball on that one, huh?"

These two might not be friends, but they had each other's backs.

Willow: "So, do you trust her?"

Amity: "I don't know."

Smirking, Willow wrapped one arm around Amity's shoulder.

Willow: "Well, maybe we can do something about that? See, while you were obviously crushing on her from afar..."

Amity(slightly blushing): " Obviously?!"

Willow(smug): " I was learning up close about schemes, plots, and ruses from a master of shenanigans."

Willow's confidence had improved.

Willow: "I've got a plan. If everything goes well, you might get everything you hoped for.

Twoo wuv's kiss saves Luz and both of you get a happy ending."

She took jabs at her new boss when she could. Payback for the years of bullying.

While Amity became beet red, Willow continued.

Willow(whispering): "Here's what you need to do..."

[Bonus]

The afternoon after the conference, at the Blight manor.

The "undercover" duo knocked at the Blight manor entrance.

The family should be back, by now.

They were met by the twins, Emira and Edric.

Willow: "We need to talk to Amity."

Emira: "She's sleeping."

Gus: "It's four in the afternoon."

Edric: "She didn't get a wink, last night."

A smiles appeared on Amity's siblings.

Edric: "Want to see why?"

Not even waiting for an answer, he brought up a scroll. The footage was ready to go.

Edric: "We had a ball to cap off the night."

Emira: "But Luz wanted to do something special."

There, on the screen, Luz stood in the spotlight. Holding the mic and a spanish guitar, she broadcasted for the dance hall.

Luz: "This one goes out to a special someone here tonight. It's called, 'You're in my heart'."

Amity could be seen hiding her face, as she tried to excuse herself.

Emira: "We told her, Amity left during her performance."

Edric: "So, she asked for our help in finding mitten's window."

Pulling up another recording, this one seemed to take place outside.

Luz: "I saw this in a movie, once."

As the shot panned out, the eyes of these two detectives nearly popped out at the screen. What they saw could only be described as an army of Luz clones. The one up front, holding the guitar, began to play. The rest of them sang behind her.

Luz army(echoing): "Love of my life, you've hurt me.

You've broken my heart, and now you leave me."

The Blight twins collapsed from laughter.

The two guests looked at each other.

Gus(confused): "Are we... sure that's not the real Luz?"

Willow: "I thought Luz wasn't supposed to do magic?"

Edric(astounded): "That's why she asked for our help!"

Emira: "I just thought she was trying to get in good with her future in laws. Those powers glyphs weren't a bad start."

Before Willow could ask about that, Gus had his own question.

Gus: "When did you even learn this song?"

Blight twins(in unison): "Last night."

Willow: "No one tried to stop her during any of this?"

Emira: "People were too sacred they'd set her off. I mean, even we had trouble believing she wasn't going to start... you know."

Edric: "That is, until she wanted to pull something over on Amity. And really, who are we to try and stop her from redeeming herself?"

Emira: "Yeah, shame she made Luz walk home."

Slowly, Willow pieced together a realization.

Willow: "Time's not up yet and she's walking back alone.

Wait, did you post this on Penstagram?!"

Author's note:

Admittedly, the bonus was inspired by this moment in the show

and a song on the radio.

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Tiger Stripes

A gift for @siro-cyll​, cuz they’re the best and I love them and lowkeygotahugecrush, but anyways! They’ve inspired me so much the last few weeks by just being them and I wanted to do something special. I hope you like it! - N.S.

~~~~~~~~~~

With the soft, warm steam coming from his mug, the pleasant early-morning sun baking his naked chest, and the cool breeze awakening his senses gradually, it would be an understatement to say that Ford was comfortable.

The breeze ruffled his fluffy charcoal-gray hair playfully before disappearing, leaving behind a still Summer's air. While it is true that he became cold easily, one of the reasons why he wore turtleneck sweaters all year-round, the star his planet revolved around warned his exposed skin pleasantly and Ford felt no anxiety nor unpleasant chill as he stood on the porch, watching the day begin.

The aged scientist sipped his hot caffeinated drink, something he had excruciatingly missed while out in the Multiverse, but over the last ten months he had been home, Ford had taken full advantage of the Columbia-imported beverage and revisited his old habits with each mug. He took in a deep breath; with Bill dead, the remarkable start to a day, his brave choice of attire, and the fact that he was back in Gravity Falls for the summer, surrounded by loved ones, Ford was flooded with a sense of peace and he felt at home.

Of course, that wasn't to say he wasn't at home on the Stan O' War II with his brother; he and Stan had the time of their lives on that boat, sailing the Arctic ocean and fulfilling the dream they had shared since their childhood; and they looked forward to continuing on their adventure when the summer ended. Still, Gravity Falls has always been and always will be where Ford felt at home, felt like he could be himself, and while those characteristics applied on the Stan O' War II, here in the Mystery Shack two little bundles of joy made it even better.

Speaking of, she was opening random doors like the creep she admitted to being, wondering what all had changed since she and her brother had arrived for the summer. Mabel pleasantly found that, all in all, not too much had changed. Some more things had been moved into storage to make the Soos and his Abuelita's move easier when summer ended, and some things were moved around for convenience's sake, but no great change that threw the teenage girl for a loop; this was still her true home and her family was still here.

Mabel skipped to the kitchen to fix herself a cup of Mabel Juice to satisfy her appetite until her Grunkle Stan would make his world-famous Stancakes. As she poured her homemade drink into a glass, she noticed the used coffee-dipped spoon by the sink and when she looked at the coffee-pot, some of the dark, gross, adult drink was still in there, probably enough for two more servings, a second one for a sleep-hating scientist and one for Mabel's favorite conman.

Looking forward to spending time with him, as she always will, Mabel made her way to the basement to surprise Grunkle Ford with her presence. She was confused to find it empty, it being typical for her uncle to overwork, never ceasing, but maybe he wasn't in the mood to work. Or maybe he was working in another room. Mabel checked the private study on the second floor of the basement, but it too was empty. Then she checked the thinking parlor, astounded and also pleased to find it empty; if Ford wasn't working (which was a good thing in Mabel's book) then where was he?

Mabel decided to calmly roam the house for him, now halfway done with her Mabel Juice. Ford wasn't in the living room and it was unlikely that he was upstairs. Just as she was thinking to check his room, in case he went back there to drink his coffee in peace, Mabel decided to check the porch since she was so close to it. She opened the door and looked around, then made a big smile that was free from braces. Ford was standing to her right, a hand on his hip and another hand holding his mug, shirtless and enjoying the sun.

"G'morning, Grunkle Ford." Mabel said cheerfully and let the door close behind her

Ford jumped, nearly sloshing coffee on his hand, and his face turned red as he looked at his great-niece. His free arm was now crossed over his chest, trying to preserve some privacy, but it hardly mattered; he was still fairly exposed.

It wasn't uncommon for Ford to sit by the window in the Stan O' War II shirtless in the morning, but back there he was assured that Stan would not wake up until nine o'clock, plenty of time to finish his coffee and cover himself again. He never had to worry about someone seeing his torso and the many ugly scars that littered his skin, but he had overlooked that his beautiful niece was an early-bird, just like him, and he had misjudged the risk of being caught.

Ford cleared his throat. "G-Good morning, Mabel. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, did you?" Mabel asked and stood next to him, watching the sun and blissfully unaware of how uncomfortable her uncle was.

"Y-Yes, I did, my dear." And Ford sipped his coffee to give him something to do that wasn't standing awkwardly.

Mabel also sipped her juice, smiling and happy. Ford casted glances down at her, waiting for her to make a remark or comment about him only being in his plaid pajama-pants, but she was distracted by the beautiful morning. Ford tried to move past his self-conscious fear, but that was easier said than done. Surviving out in the Multiverse had earned him a handful of battle-scars; old gun-shot wounds, scratches from monsters, chemical burns from acid, and most recently two discolored scars on his wrists and one around his neck, the burns Bill gave him as the devil tortured the scientist for information. Some scars he had received well before the Multiverse and some he had received willingly, but this was a conversation Ford was not ready to have with his innocent little girl and he hoped he could somehow avoid it today.

However, Mabel was an insightful, kind young lady, who was bound to notice when something was wrong with a loved one, so she glanced up at Ford and asked, gentle as a kitten, "Grunkle Ford, are you okay?"

Ford looked down at her and gave her a smile she almost bought. "Yes, I'm okay."

"Are you sure? Did you have another nightmare?"

Ford shook his head. "No, I slept soundly, thank you."

Mabel decided that she believed him and then looked down at his arm, about to take his polydactyl hand, but something else caught her attention and it made her smile. "I like your tiger stripes."

Ford raised an eyebrow at her. "Excuse me?"

"Your tiger stripes." Mabel clarified and softly touched some scars on his left arm that were from when a huge monster scratched him. Ford typically didn't like to be touched, but the girl was so gentle and only had the best intentions, so he held back a shiver and let her feel his skin. "They mean you're very brave. They look really cool!" Mabel's curiosity and fascination got the best of her; she moved her little hand up his arm and to his shoulder, where more scars laid. Her eyes sparkled like stars and she just kept on smiling at her uncle's body. "I especially like those big ones on your chest. Wow, you must be really brave!"

Ford bit his lip. He was completely and utterly speechless. Did she fully understand what he had to do to receive these marks, or did she believe they magically came to be when someone was brave? Did she have any idea what he had been through? Or did she really understand what she was saying at all. When Ford looked at her beautiful brown eyes, the brown eyes that matched his own, he knew that she did understand even if not fully. He wasn't sure if he wanted her to understand fully yet, but for now he could enjoy what a blessing his niece was. "Th-Thank you, Mabel. Really, thank you so much."

Mabel smiled with rosy cheek and held his hand. Ford squeezed her hand kindly in return. After a minute, Mabel pulled him to the couch by the hand and sat down, patting the seat next to her. Ford smiled and sat next to her, then allowed her to curl up against his chest and watch the sunrise. He blinked his misty eyes dry and wrapped a strong arm around her, much warmer with her and no shirt than any sweater could ever warm him.

[artificialqueens]

Girl I Met On The Internet, 6/6 (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

a/n: and it’s a wrap! for now anyway bc i totally dont have a fic coming based on the good news nicky had for jaida! i just want to say thank you to every single person who read, liked and reblogged this story. it means so much to me, i’m so glad people enjoyed the strange idea that came into my brain. <3 (also! i wanted to let you guys know that i’m planning on posting this fic on ao3 as well, probably after this chapter is posted on here. my username on there is drivingmecrazy !!)

crystal: does everyone’s spring break start this weekend too?? anyone doing anything??

jan!: mine does! i’m staying home all week, jackie is leaving me :(

nicky: my spring break isn’t until late april!! wtf :(

heidi: ha loser

heidi: i’m going to play animal crossing all weekend i can’t wait

Jackie: I’m going to Canada to visit family on Sunday. Jan, if you want we can hang out on Saturday if you’re going to miss me that much. :P

nicky: i’ll hang out with you jackie

jan: i hate you nicky

jaida: i have a pageant next week!!

jan!: yaas gorg

nicky: bring home the crown!

crystal: GO JAIDA!

nicky: also jaida call me. i have good news for you :)

gigi: crystal you already know what’s going down

crystal: do i now?

gigi: GOOD LUCK JAIDA!!! NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE OUR WINNER

Crystal had somewhat of an idea of what was going down. She had been granted permission to sleep over at Gigi’s house, and they would be going on their date the following day. Gigi would not tell Crystal anything about where they were going, and refused to give her any hints no matter how much Crystal begged. 

The next morning, on their walk to school, Crystal finally got a hint. 

“You tweeted about it. That’s all I’ll tell you.”

“That’s not helpful at all!” Crystal had almost 30 thousand tweets, her Twitter was her space to say weird things without being judged too harshly, and she had a lot of things to say! She thought about things she might’ve tweeted about wanting to do, or places she wanted to go, but came up empty handed.

“Well, you have the whole day to think about it. I’ll meet you after school, yeah?”

-

Gigi’s mom offered to pick them up after school, even though the walk from their school to Gigi’s house wasn’t far. Crystal finally met Nancy, Gigi’s beloved dog. Crystal didn’t want to do anything besides hold the dachshund to her chest all night, but Gigi wouldn’t let her, saying it wasn’t fair for Nancy to get all of the attention even though Gigi does the exact same thing with Tic Tac.

They made homemade pizza for dinner, and played monopoly with Gigi’s parents and her brother. Gigi’s brother thought Crystal was cute, and hit on Crystal; trying out a ridiculous pickup line on the green haired girl every chance he got. After they called off the game, Gigi excused her and Crystal to her room.

“So quick to leave, Georgina,” Crystal teased, sitting down next to Nancy who was using Gigi’s strawberry cow pillow pet as a headrest. 

“Wanna spend time with you. Can we cuddle?”

“Yeah, of course.”

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company until Gigi spoke up.

“I couldn’t do it.”

“Couldn’t do what?” Crystal asked, lost.

“Come out to my friends. I thought I was ready but obviously I’m not.”

“It’s okay, Gigi. You’ll know when it’s time, don’t rush it.”

“I just want to be more open, I guess.”

“That’s good, but it’s not going to happen overnight. You have to take baby steps, G.”

“Was it hard? To come out?”

“To who?” Crystal snorted, “You know I don’t have any friends. I’m pretty sure everyone at school already knows, though.”

“Does your mom know?”

“Probably. She got a little too suspicious when I started liking Poppy.”

This turned into revealing who their first gay crush was, and how and when they figured out they liked girls like the rest of their friends liked boys. Crystal told Gigi about how she originally tried to fake like One Direction so no one would suspect anything, and Gigi told Crystal about how she refused to listen to any music sung by female artists for half a year before they decided to go to sleep.

-

Crystal had woken up first. She didn’t bother waking up Gigi, going to scroll through Twitter instead. It was still early, but the group chat was on some bullshit, Jan changed her display name to Nicky and changed her profile picture to Nicky’s to mock her. Nicky did not find this funny in the slightest, but Jaida did.

nicky: i’m nicky i’m french i love stealing my friends gfs

jaida: omg period!

THE REAL nicky: JAIDA THAT’S NOT ME!!!

jaida: proof?

THE REAL nicky: I HATE IT HERE!!

nicky: croissant

crystal: HELPDGNJKFNJ

THE REAL nicky: i cannot stand jan. this is why jackie should date me instead

Crystal couldn’t stop laughing, which ended up waking Gigi up. Gigi was grumpy at first, but that changed when she realized they needed to get ready to go on the date she had planned.

After they had gotten up and dressed, they sat next to each other in front of the giant, floor length mirror next to Gigi’s closet to do their makeup. Gigi stopped doing her makeup after putting on her foundation, deciding that watching Crystal do her eye shadow was more entertaining than finishing the look she had in mind.

“Stop looking at me, you’re making me nervous!” Crystal giggled when she noticed Gigi’s stares, not actually wanting Gigi to stop.

“I’ll think about it,” Gigi paused, pretending to think, “I will not. You look beautiful.”

Crystal squawked, “I barely have anything on my face!”

“So?”

“What are you, gay or something?” Crystal teased, making Gigi poke at her sides, “Stop being a dork and finish your makeup!”

“Fine. Only because we need to get going soon.”

-

“Wait, you know how to drive?” Crystal asked, getting in the passenger seat.

“Yeah! I don’t have my own car yet, but I got my license on my 16th birthday. I am not enforcing the stereotype at all!” Gigi grinned, opening the garage door and starting her mom’s car.

“I’ll be the judge of that. Can I play music?” 

“Yeah, sure.” Gigi handed her the aux cord and started backing out of the driveway. 

“Okay. This is the ultimate test,” Crystal stated, starting to play a song. “Which One Direction song is this?”

The song in question was good, but Gigi didn’t recognize it. She had only listened to ‘Midnight Memories’ because it was Crystal’s favorite album, and she knew for sure Crystal wasn’t playing a song from that album. “Is it from ‘Made in the A.M’?”

“Trick question! It’s one of Niall’s solo songs. It’s called ‘Dear Patience’!” Crystal laughed, thinking she had pulled off the biggest prank in the world.

“Oh, fuck. I should’ve known there was only one person singing.”

After fifteen minutes of driving, and Gigi almost running a stop sign, they finally pulled up at a cute little thrift shop on the outskirts of town, and Crystal was just about shaking with excitement. “I love thrifting! I’ve only been once, but it was so fun! I found that jumpsuit I wore that one day while thrifting!” She rambles, rushing to get out of the car and inside.

“Wait, when I did tweet about this?”

Around the time they had first started talking, Crystal had tweeted about how her dream date was going thrifting. Gigi naturally stored this information in the back of her mind, even though at the time she never thought she would need it.

On their walk from the parking lot to the store, Crystal held her hand out, which Gigi hesitantly accepted.

“We should play a game! We should split up and pick out an outfit for the other person without them knowing and then meet up and try them on!” 

Gigi’s heart swelled, Crystal was so cute. “That sounds fun, but how do I know this isn’t just a trick to dress me up in something hideous?” Gigi teased, making Crystal blush.

“I would never, don’t be ridiculous,” Crystal scoffed, “I’ll save that for the next time we go thrifting!”

Crystal let go of Gigi’s hand to open the door for her, splitting up as soon as they walked into the shop.

It didn’t take them very long to pick out their pieces. Crystal stayed true to her word, picking out a light green, halter top dress for Gigi. Gigi, on the other hand, had picked out a hideous pair of neon pink, zebra print leggings and a red flannel shirt.

“Gigi, what is that?” Crystal scrunched up her nose in disgust.

“You like patterns, why not clash them?” Gigi tried to defend herself, but could barely finish her sentence before bursting out laughing.

“No! I’m not getting that! I’m not even going to try on that outfit. It’s yucky.”

“That’s fine, give me the dress you picked out for me. I need that.” Gigi snatched it from Crystal’s hands, walking quickly to the dressing room.

The dress looked gorgeous on Gigi. Crystal was so glad she took their game seriously. 

They looked around together for a little bit before wandering from each other yet again. Gigi somehow ended up with a pile of clothes that you would only see in a very successful thrifting haul video on YouTube. Crystal had stuck to the men’s section, immediately claiming some loud button ups and with a little digging, she found a very specific, out of place t-shirt that said something about how ‘real grandmas drink Dr. Pepper’ that she found hilarious and needed to own.

“What does that say? Some grandmas play bingo, real grandmas drink Dr. Pepper?” Gigi questioned when they finally met back up, “What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know, but it’s sending me. I need it!”

“So you hated my outfit I got for you, but you’re buying that?” Gigi teased.

“You do not understand the art of highly specific shirts, like these, babe. I’ll have to teach you all about them later.”

Gigi thought Crystal was an idiot, but she couldn’t stop smiling.

-

After paying for their clothes, they got back into the car. Gigi started driving, not telling Crystal where their next stop was. The stop happened to be the Taco Bell drive thru, which Crystal was excited about. “Okay, I do remember tweeting about wanting to go to Taco Bell.” 

When they got their food, Gigi placed the bag in the back seat, making Crystal raise an eyebrow. 

“You’re a messy eater, so we aren’t eating in the car. My mom would kill me if we made a mess.”

While Crystal tried to convince Gigi she was not a messy eater and her mom’s car would be fine, Gigi pulled up to a park.

“Can you find a spot to sit down at so we can eat it there?” Gigi requested. It took Crystal about two seconds to travel from the car to the grass, settling down in a shady spot underneath some trees. Gigi joined Crystal, holding a blue blanket as well as the brown paper bag.

“It’s not a picnic blanket, I couldn’t find one but I hope it works.”

“It does! I love picnics!” Crystal hops up so Gigi can lay down the blanket, going to retrieve the drinks that they forgot in the car. 

Their lunch was filled with flirting, stupid inside jokes and Crystal loved every second of it. She knew for sure by the end of the day she would not be single anymore, but the lack of confirmation was making her antsy.

Once they were done eating, Gigi collected all of the wrappers and cups, walking across the grass to the nearest trash can to dispose of them. When Gigi came back, she had a huge grin on her face, “Well, Crystal Elizabeth. I would like to think that I successfully wooed you, if only you could do something for me in return…”

“What do you have in mind, Georgina?” Crystal giggles, hoping Gigi couldn’t tell how nervous that statement made her.

“Crystal Elizabeth, I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend?” 

“God, yes. I’ve been waiting for this for months.” Crystal exclaimed, immediately being pulled into a kiss.

They stayed at the park after that. Crystal’s inner child had jumped out after the kiss was broken and she wanted to play on the playground. 

“Wait, Crystal! Come here, the light looks good right now and we need to take our reveal selfie!”

-

Their date came to an end when Crystal’s mom texted her asking to come home. Crystal’s mom had no idea what she was interrupting, as Crystal did not tell her mom what they were actually doing.

“I hate it here, I would let this date go on all week if I could.” Crystal pouted, buckling her seatbelt.

“If there’s any other place you want to go this week, we could go on our second date.” Gigi smiled, reaching out to hold Crystal’s hand.

“Be careful, I know steering with one hand is peak lesbianism, but I don’t know if you’re a good enough driver to do that yet.” Crystal joked, even though she gladly accepted Gigi’s hand.

“Oh, shut up. Like you could go ten minutes without holding my hand.”

Crystal kissed Gigi again when they got on her street, Gigi parking a few houses down for privacy.

“This was fun. I really am happy with everything. You completely wooed me, Georgina.”

“I’m glad. Does this mean I can call you my clown girlfriend now?” Gigi jokingly asked, making Crystal let out a tiny scream.

“As dumb as that sounds, yes. You can.”

Gigi did not let Crystal get out of the car without getting another kiss.

-

Crystal entered her house, her grin slowly fading when she saw her mom waiting for her.

“You took a while to come home.” Crystal’s mom started, under the impression she was at Gigi’s house. “What took you so long?”

“Yeah, sorry. I couldn’t find my charger.” Crystal felt bad for lying to her mom, but she didn’t want to tell her what happened yet.

“Oh, your generation and your phones. I was starting to get worried.”

“Mama, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I’m going to my room now, is that okay?”

“Yeah, I’m about to start dinner. We’re having your favorite!”

The second Crystal got into her room, she locked her door and jumped on her bed, logging onto Twitter.

crystal: good evening l a d i e s

jan!: HEY!

jaida: crystal!

Jackie: You haven’t been active today, what were you up to?

heidi: not jackie demanding answers

nicky: ooooh

gigi: well, since you asked…

crystal: :D

gigi: my girlfriend crystal and i went on our first date today. isn’t she beautiful??

The group erupted into chaos the second they saw their selfie, congratulating the new couple for finally getting together. Crystal wouldn’t have it any other way. She would be forever grateful for being added into Elites Only, and even more for the special girl she had met there.

gigi: so, any ideas for our second date?

crystal: tons, babe. i’m gonna blow your mind.

[butchford]

All 25 for Hinata

1) Something this character is truly proud of.

Hinata is really proud of acknowledging how shitty her dad was while he was alive because she made so many excuses for his behavior for the majority of her life and just finally fully accepting he was a piece of shit and Mao’s mom has always been much more comparable to family than he ever was.

2) Who they want to please the most.

To begin with she wanted so badly to prove to her father who treated his dogs better than Hinata that she wasn’t useless but now that she’s free of that she wants to make Minene proud because she sees her as a cool older woman figure as well as Mao’s mom, her gfs, and her friends. Like Hinata just wants the best for everyone in her life <3

3) Who depends on them.

Their entire friend group depends on Hinata because she’s the most down to earth person in it, Mao & Yuno depend on Hinata for emotional support and Yuno in specific depends on her for stability

4) What they would do if they had one month to live.

Hinata would go stupid go crazy like she’s definitely the type to say “I wanna go out having done everything I set out to do and with a smile on my face”

5) A cherished personal belonging.

Hinata has a little necklace that Mao gave her when they started dating and always wears it beneath her shirt bc she’s not sappy but. She is <3

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back

Hinata sorely misses what she remembers of the period of time when her mom was still around because after she left her father only got Worse

7) This character’s favorite character

Yes Hinata is a dog girl yes she loves Garfield for no discernible reason

8) What kind of car they would drive.

Hinata with the beaten up Toyota suv..

9) What calms them when they are upset.

Hinata gets her emotions out through Sports like u see her dribbling the ball a little too hard she’s just coping <3

10) How they deal with pain.

Hinata just spends more time with friends like yes she’ll be honest if questioned about it but she’ll avoid “concerning others” if she can help it

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing.

Hinata just adores her varsity jacket if not solely because she can drape it over her gfs

12) How they sleep.

Hinata always wakes up curled on a ball no matter how she falls asleep

13) What kind of parent they would be.

Hinata would be the type of parent who goes “lol time 2 drop off the kids at their game :]” and make signs for them so she can support them without saying “GET THEIR ASS” from the stands

14) How they did in school

Hinata did ok in school like she’s just doing her best

15) What cologne or perfume they would use

Hinata would swipe the old expensive colognes her father never touches and Mao thinks it’s so fucking hot of her

16) Their sexuality

Lesbian. Lesbiam. Girls <3

17) What they’d sing at karaoke

Hinata breaks out Money Machine 100 gecs every chance she gets

18) Special talents they have

She’s super athletic but also really good with people like Hinata is a kindhearted jock and a mean lesbian at the same time good for her good for her <3

19) When they feel safest

Mao’s house like Mao’s mom loves her and her fondest memories are of falling asleep with Yuno and Mao leaning on her shoulders on the couch

20) Household chore they hate the most

Hinata hates folding laundry she just Doesn’t See The Point

21) Their fondest childhood memory

Her parents were shit but she still thinks about her visit to the fair every now and then

22) How they spend their money.

Hinata sees a drink labeled with electrolytes and puts it in the cart. Also she has a pocket knife collection and her love language is gift giving

23) What kind of alcohol they drink

Hinata tries some of her fathers whiskey on the rocks and thinks it’s Gross but like in a redeemable way so she just doesn’t touch alcohol for a while

24) What they wish they could change about themselves

Hinata loves how she’s a kindhearted person at heart but she at the same time hates how many shitty situations it’s gotten her into

25) What other people wish they could change about them

When Mao Yuno and Hinata move in together her gfs wish she would stop going ham on the punching bag at 2am

[loveau]

college!au seulgi

request: elli!! can u please do a college gf au with seulgi? i think we could all use that cute fluffiness right now 🤧 p.s. thank u for sharing ur wonderful writing ilu 💕

major: business w/ a concentration in human resources management

minor: dance

club: prob vp of the school’s women in business club!!! she joined in the middle of her sophomore year and became vp in junior!

she’s most likely been an RA in her sophomore or junior for the upperclassmen

she was in it for the door decs before realizing she actually liked it lOL

originally was a bio major and was stressed about it, but switched to business after being an RA because she thought it was her calling???

it just fit a lot better and she didn’t have to stand there hunched over her lab work and worry about accidentally breathing in pathogens

she had declared a bio major because the plan was to go to med school if all else fails and she didn’t really know what else to do, so that was a safe option right?

never before had she been so relieved to find out that she actually really liked spending time in her business and management classes and leading her volunteer group and being an RA

she also now has an excuse to dress up super nicely for interviews and such because she had so many outfits in her closet but never got a chance to wear them out

she became so much more at ease and bubbly about it too

no more sitting in lecture halls having to recite the functions of B-cells or whatnot

it also helped to have sat down with her ARD irene who told her she might like business

it was a long process of convincing because most of it was spent trying not to keep gossiping about the other RAs on campus alfsdlknfmsdlgkn

afterwards she quits reslife so she can focus on other stuff and lives in an apartment near campus her senior year

she becomes pretty popular around campus for her happy personality and her calm energy to match, making it so easy to start a conversation with her or just hang out

seulgi will be studying somewhere in a common student area and previous residents or club mates or classmates will wave to her or stop by for a quick chat

she’s also normally p busy tho being the vp of the wib club and also making sure she’s updating her resume and leaving time on the weekends to volunteer at the animal shelter like she loves

and also making sure she isn’t spending too much on online shopping for clothes and oOPS HER FINGER SLIPPED AND NOW SHE HAS LIKE TWO TOPS AND A PAIR OF OVERALLS ON THE WAY 

but she often doesn’t have a lot of time to spend with her friends unless they plan it like a MONTH beforehand since she’s been applying and interviewing for countless internships

she was just so excited to find something that she’s super passionate about instead of biology and she kind of overloads herself on that energy akfsldgnskjgn

so of course when her friends invite her to parties or kickbacks she has to decline because she has to make the next powerpoint presentation for the club meeting and also make sure the club’s end of semester dinner is being all squared away

seulgi’s a busybody and enjoys what she does, so much that she doesn’t realize that she keeps overloading her schedule and not giving a lot of time for just herself

which usually means she also spends a lot of time cramming everything at once and might end up passing out at a friend’s place during a study session, in the middle of club meetings, or even in the library late at night

that’s just how she spent her thursday night 

she had been setting up a speech for her recruitment and selection class and had been so tired from her club meeting a couple hours before that she ended up falling asleep in the library

it was kind of cute since she had hairs slipping from her bun, some coffee stains on her sweater, ink all over her hand from notes, candy wrappers spread around her area, and her head was tipped back and her mouth wide open as she slept

okay............ not that cute

she was a mess

but it was enough for her to get startled awake by a longboard rolling across the room and hitting her chair leg quite hard

she didn’t know what happened at first and checked around only to find a somewhat empty library save the couple of students also diligently working

her laptop she left open was dead and she cursed because she didn’t save her speech and her phone was below 10%, but it was enough to tell her that it was like 3am in the morning

seulgi only noticed the skateboard because she was going to go to the bathroom to freshen up and almost slipped on it when her foot landed on the top

she caught herself and saw that there was a bottle of water and a granola bar and a note on it

‘hey, you look like you need a little refresher. i also had a spare charger in case you needed it, your laptop has been open the past hour’

sure enough there was a charger but it had been knocked to the floor after she slipped on the longboard

silently, seulgi placed the items on the table with the rest of her stuff and looked around for anyone who would have given her the stuff

except nobody was popping their head up and were all busy

plus they all had chargers with them so she didn’t know who would have given her the treats

nonetheless she opened the water bottle and felt replenished when the water hit her throat

she was so confused????? still?????

she decided to take her trip to the bathroom like she wanted to and maybe she could scope out whoever decided to give her the food and drink while she was at it

subtlety wasn’t exactly her forte either since she was craning her neck around every table and making the other students confused

eventually seulgi makes it to the bathroom and cleans herself up and when she comes back the longboard is gone and her laptop was charged for her and a new note lays on top of it?????

who???????

‘i had to go for the night, sorry about that! don’t worry about the charger, i have another one and i’ll just collect this one when i bump into you again :)’

and just like that seulgi was completely and utterly confused

she stays like that for the next two weeks or so, seeing no sign of anyone with the same longboard and she tries not to pounce at every person she sees riding one to class

it gets so bad that the prez asked if she was okay and getting enough sleep since she was so distracted during her meetings and if she called the caterer for the dinner yet asgGNSGDN

her friends sooyoung and yerim were also trying to use this as an advantage for her to get invited out to “clear her mind” as they say since she’s been so out of it lately

and they’re absolutely elated when seulgi agrees and decides to go because why not?? she’s been so stressed about finding this mystery person because she wanted to properly thank them... but also to get the laptop charger with hello kitty stickers all over it back to its owner

and also did they see she had drool running down her chin bc that was really embarrassing and she just wants to make sure if anyone saw that before she promptly packs her bags a moves to another country

she’s blushing at that don’t point it out or else it’ll get worse amsdlknsg

once they’re actually inside, she can’t help but look for any longboards by the door even though most of the people at the party came by on foot or by someone’s car since the house was relatively close to campus

sooyoung and yerim are basically pushing her further into the house as they chatter excitedly and they’re happy it isn’t a byob type of party

seulgi is basically saying she won’t drink that much because she’ll look after the two and let them go ham... for a bit..

but they’re basically like

“seulgi it’s fridaaaaay it’s fine”

“yeah! besides we know the house owner and can call joohyun if we anything”

and they’re both going “pleeeeeeeeaaaaase” and doing their best to yell it over the loud music

and before seulgi can deny any longer she’s turned to the kitchen that’s been blocked by a foldable table and there’s cup lining it and drinks all over on the counters

but she’s not distracted by the abundance of drinks and people surrounding it.........

she finds you smiling cheekily at her

“what can i get you?”

and seulgi starts sputtering over her words and she REALLY cannot get a single word out because oh my gosh who are you and are you single because UHHHHHHH her brain is going overload

and both sooyoung and yerim are already cackling at seulgi’s stunned silence and giving each other mischievous looks behind seulgi while she malfunctions

meanwhile you’re just drinking it all up with an amused smile and gleam in your eyes and oh god do you HAVE to lean against the counter like that?

seulgi can barely get a word out before you’re laughing a little and turning around to prepare three red solo cups

you pass the cups to sooyoung and yerim and they basically BOLT away to leave seulgi all alone and more importantly alone wITH YOU SOMEONE SAVE HER

you laugh at her red cheeks that shine from the kitchen lights behind you and seulgi is absolutely enamored by you at this moment

“don’t worry, i gave them more fruit juice than i did alcohol. they’ll be fine”

seulgi barely registers this and gapes like a fish to where her friends are dancing and drinking from whatever you prepared them

had she been paying proper attention like she normally does, she’s notice that yes you basically watered down the alcohol with some lemonade

“i know how crazy those two can get after a couple parties with them, so i’m making sure they don’t go overboard”

seulgi only watches as you take her cup and put it under the sink to give her water

she takes it an tries not to get giddy when your fingers brush

inner seulgi facepalms because she’s acting like she has a crush in high school

but she’s never felt this way since she switched majors???

and omg that feeling was so addicting exhibit a when seulgi overloads her schedule and now??? she just met you and can’t get enough already

“thank you” she practically inwardly screams when she realizes how meek she is but you only give her a friendly smile

“yeah! thought you could use a little refresher. i didn’t know if you wanted anything so i didn’t want to give you anything you wouldn’t feel pressured to drink. let me know if you need anything else!”

all seulgi does for the rest of the night is basically hang around the room and watch everyone get kind of crazy and make sure sooyoung and yerim are staying on their feet, but with a second set of eyes she actually feels like she has more freedom

especially since you stopped giving them alcohol and basically have been serving them just juice after they started getting past the bit of tipsiness

eventually seulgi has enough of just standing around and has had enough cups of water (she had maybe 3) to finally talk to you

before she’d been working up the courage to talk to you and had come back with a refilled cup of water but noW???

NOW???

she’s ready

at least she hopes

seulgi’s marching up to you and then sooyoung is at her arm whining and sort of falling over

seulgi manages to catch her and is p disoriented by everything like what is happening is she okay??

and sooyoung is just like

“seulgiiiiiiiii i wanna go hoooome, can we get burgers?”

and before she can ask where yerim went, she suddenly pops up and joins in

“burgers? i heard burgers can we go, i was foooood”

before she knows it she’s dragged out of the house by the two and basically walking them home a couple blocks away

and now seulgi’s bummed that she didn’t get to finally talk to you like she wanted

she doesn’t even know when she’ll be able to see you again since she didn’t get your name at all and she’d be mortified by all the teasing the younger two would give her since they knew how choked up she was if she asks them who you were

she’s even kind of sulking about it and she’s so caught up in it she gets a notification from her phone that she needs to finalize things with the caterer and reserve one of the areas on campus for the club’s dinner and that reminds her she needs to shop

but as she’s on her phone she nearly swerves into somebody and it shocks her enough to bring her back to reality and she moves to apologize to the person and all of a sudden

“oh hey! you again, fancy seeing you!”

and she’s now forgotten everything since she sees you smiling at her

this time she forces herself to find her voice and not embarrass herself and it’s like her interview persona comes in and she’s got that natural confidence oozing in and she beams that pretty smile of hers right back at you

“and you too! i never thought i’d run into you again”

you laugh and all of a sudden you’re like an inch shorter and seulgi looks down and spots that you’d been riding a longboard before almost crashing into her

and she recognizes that longboard with all of the sanrio stickers on it and is that a sicker of your face with some filter on the corner of it???

but she recognizes the longboard since it’s been engraved in her mind and it just clicks for her and suddenly seulgi is scrambling to pull her backpack from behind and you just watch on like

uh r u okay? are you good? pls don’t take out some random textbook and smack me over the head with it

the hello kitty covered charger she’s been saving in her backpack is suddenly thrust into her hands and you think she’s about to stumble her words again like in those anime love confession scenes but she’s almost aggressive with it????

“i’ve been keeping this in my backpack for a few weeks! i didn’t even know what you looked like so i had no clue how to find you, do you know how stressed out you made me? you’ve been on my mind for almost a month!”

she doesn’t even realize how her words sound until you’re responding back in kind with another one of those easy smiles of yours

“sorry, i’ve been meaning to catch you sooner but i’ve so many labs back to back” you look at your phone and bite your lip nervously, something seulgi is a little too focused on “i actually have one in like five minutes, that’s why i almost crashed into you...”

seulgi finally realizes you’re wearing a white lab coat, something you’d worn in preparation since you were already rushing to be on time

your phone is thrust into her hands with the empty contact already loaded up 

seulgi quickly types in her number and even snaps a cute profile photo of her and it’s your turn to be stunned by her because wow that was an impromptu photo and hOW DID SHE MAKE IT SO GOOD????

and then seulgi is ushering you off because you have like thREE MINUTES BEFORE LAB and you’re like OH YEAH UH BYE!!!! I’LL CALL YOU????

and she shouts back with a “YOU BETTER!!”

and suddenly seulgi gets a phone call and when she picks up she can hear the wind rushing past the speaker and you’re kind of breathy since you’re reaLLY using those leg muscles to PUSH to that lab

“yEaH so UH i wanted to tell you but i didn’t get the chance since i don’t want to have to do a makeup lab??? bUT UH, i saw one of your dance performances last year and thought you were really cute!!”

seulgi vaguely remembers that because she had done a solo dance for a showcase in the performing arts department and it was basically for the students to show off what they were working on and to her it was just a homework assignment on top of like four labs and a research paper

“oh yeah! i remember that... well not really, i’d been so busy that it all just flew by”

“yeah! that was around the time you were a bio major, right? i’d been meaning to talk to you then, but i wasn’t able to since you switch majors afterwards!”

“ah, bio as well?”

she hears your voice echo and she knows you’ve entered the building by now

relief floods her system that she didn’t keep you too long 

“nah, i’m a chem major. it translates pretty well to mixing drinks, huh?”

instead of getting embarrassed and recounting that previous experience at the party, seulgi’s business confidence is suRGING and i mean IT IS LARGO and she’s like

“i can’t really say. you’ve only made me water, so i’ll have to see another time?”

at this point you’re absolutely vibrating with excitement at the proposal of a date and you quickly accept

and that’S WHAT HAPPENED BUT YOU SPENT IT OVER A HOMEMADE DINNER WITH WINE AND SEULGI COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE IMPRESSED?!?!?!?!?

you’d cooked it all and brought it to her apartment since you said your housemates were hosting some study session so you just offered to bring it all over

she’s also shocked you managed to find time to do all of this given the busy stem major life and how she was struggling before

but she’s also mentioning that giving her one cup of wine doesn’t mean that’s mixing up a drink so you’ll have to do this again

and it happens aGAIN when you’re at a restaurant this time and it’s a pretty nice one near campus and y’all are just chatting away about seulgi’s women in business club dinner and she invites you to be her plus one aSDFKNSLF sHE MAY HAVE BEEN TOO SHY TO SAY DATE BUT YOU GOT THE MESSAGE

bUT AT THE SAME TIME the restaurant is the one making the drinks, so you’ll have to have her over again and mix something up

and sooyoung and yerim and just so distraught lIKE GO OUT ALREADY

and seulgi’s like we are?????? WE ARE????? WE ARE GOING ON DATES AND STUFF

but they just groan out and are about to storm up to in the middle of a lab and just hand seulgi over like

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE JUST CALL HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND ALREADY

when you finally do it’s funny because it’s at another party that sooyoung and yerim invite her to and you’re there mixing it up again but she didn’t realize that the first party where she met you was your house????

she’s hanging out with you in the kitchen and you’ve made her a cup of something sweet and seulgi has to admit that it is pretty good

and you just wink at her saying that your chemistry skills are actually pretty good

BUT THE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU IS EVEN BETTER HEHEHE

and you’re totally not just hanging out in the kitchen away from the sweaty dancing crowd and sticky floor you’re having your housemates clean up since you’re the drink master

and yOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT STEALING KISSES FROM EACH OTHER WHILE SEULGI’S SITTING ON THE COUNTER AND YOU’RE PRETENDING TO REACH AROUND HER FOR A BOTTLE BUT NO INSTEAD YOU’RE REACHING FOR HER WAIST AND HOLDING HER CLOSE AS YOU KISS HER AND NOW YOU’RE SMILING AGAINST EACH OTHER’S LIPS

you spend late nights in the library together now and you’re also most of seulgi’s impulse control when it comes to making plans and doing stuff

mainly because you’re telling her that no-no do not force yourself to go to that resume workshop you’ve been to them enough times to LEAD those

and then she gets all excited like REALLY DO YOU THINK THEY’D LET ME?!?!?!

and you’re like no stOP WE’RE STAYING IN FOR A MOVIE NIGHT AND WATCHING CARS 2

but it’s also funny to see seulgi falling asleep against your shoulder and her mouth is hanging wide open and you’ve set so many pictures of her like that as your homescreen and been yelled at too many times to change it

and when you do change it, it’s just a different picture of her in that position from a different day

she likes to run through her speeches and presentations with you and you find it so cool that she’s so poised when doing that BUt she gets so shy when she wants a kiss but doesn’t want to say so and SHE KNOWS you know she wants a kiss

you’re constantly doing her buns for her since you’ve had some practice keeping your own hair out of your face for labs but also getting tips from other girls in your labs and lectures and when they find out the reason why they’re just like pLS YOU TWO GET MARRIED

but the closest they can see the two of you dress up together is when seulgi decides to wear her business clothes out on a date and you’ve gotten stuff to match her and now you’re basically a ceo power couple walking around campus to go return some books to the library

you sitting in on her meetings and watching with lovestruck eyes as she basically spends the good half of it also staring right back at you and when they’re in discussion or activities she just clings to your side and cuddles you

you teach her how to longboard and she’s still a little wobbly but it’s SO CUTE when she’s fearfully holding onto your hands and staring down at her feet and shouting at you to NOT LET GO AT ANY COST

eventually she gives up on that and buys a pair of rollerblades instead so you can just pull her around while she hangs onto your backpack strings while you move on the longboard

BUT WHAT MAKES EVERYONE JEALOUS???

you hold her hand instead :)

she’s just laughing and giggling and being all around smiley when your hands are linked and you’re rolling around campus with her in tow

you even go to all of her dance events as well!!!

she’s been able to put a lot more effort into them since switching majors, but especially since you manage to keep her rooted and not going off doing so many things at once

she also wants to make sure she looks good for you

when does she not though??

y’all are literally tooth rotting sweet for each other

it’s the absolute cutest thing and you totally didn’t put a sticker of her sleeping face with her mouth open on your longboard........ and on your charger...... and the laptop........ and hers.... -q- zzZZZ