#i mean this one doesnt even need a caption

[andy-wm]

I have thoughts about the Tiktok JK deleted

<<I realise its a few days ago now and you might be wondering 'what tiktok?' but I've been writing in snatches when I have a few minutes so it took a while. Anyway, here it is...>>

A few posts I've read have suggested JK did the silly>sexy Tiktok challenge backwards. That he did sexy>silly instead. That he was being random and funny.

I disagree.

What he did was unexpected, a little left of centre, and for the people who can read subtext, not random at all but very very clever.

I'll tell you why, (It may not be what you think) but first I need to vent about two things:

1. Give the man some credit. He knows what he's doing.

There are some who love JK but who see him as a naive innocent. He is not. He isn't a child or a himbo.

Saying he did the challenge just because it's trending, and he reversed the order of the content for a bit of a joke, is insulting to him as an artist. It would suggest he has no forethought or understanding of himself or his (global) audience, and his decisions are made on impulse with no idea of the consequences.

He's very intelligent and has plenty of experience with digital media and creating content. Besides being involved in producing complex visual narratives as part of BTS for the last ten years, he has directed and produced seven highly polished and professional GFC videos. And don't forget the MVs for Life Goes On. For the October issue of Vogue Korea he took on the role of Creative Director. That's a pretty big deal. So we can assume he knows what he's doing.

If he produces content in a particular way, it's because it enables him to communicate what he wants to communicate.

2. You may not understand the message. That doesn't mean there's nothing to understand.

A heads up to people who can't work it out... your inability to grasp meaning doesn't equate to 'no meaning exists'. Suggesting that people who recognise what he's doing are reaching or delusional is an insult to both the audience who can read this situation, and to Jungkook, who is sharing his message.

Consider a system of writing you can't decode. Lack of comprehension doesnt mean the writing is meaningless, it means you don't understand the language.

Even if you believe you understand what's being said, please recognise that context may play a role too, that it could reveal a richer and deeper message. Don't just assume the easiest (laziest) interpretation is correct.

(You may have guessed, someone suggested I was 'behaving like the cult' when I pointed out that JK's tiktok was more than being funny ... and now I'm mad 🤣)

Vent over. Now back to he topic at hand...

💜💛

What was he was really doing? And why is it not at all random?

Let's take a step back to recall what army has been saying about this...

Almost every interpretation i read suggests he reversed the order (silly>sexy becomes sexy>silly). The reason given is that his tiktok only makes sense if the order is reversed, and this idea is backed up by the caption saying "I go the other way".

But the 'reversed order' theory is based on a hereronormative perspective of what's sexy (and a stereotypical perspective of silly.)

So consider the content of his tiktok from a queer point of view...

For a man in a relationship with another man, the idea that he's with all those women is silly.

It's silly to believe he's got a girlfriend - or several. It's silly to think the womens' names in the song are relevant to him.

He posted this tiktok at a time when he's releasing music that fits the western pop norm of boy + girl, and when rumours of him dating several women at once are rife. The timing is not a coincidence and nor is the choice of background song for this.

All these assumptions and rumours are pretty silly, JK is telling us.

Now let's talk about the second part, the sexy part. Yes it may look silly on the surface, but we have seen him and Jimin make dorky faces at one another when they're flirting. It seems to be the visual equivalent of calling Jimin 'Jiminssssi'.

It's just another way they create distance and avoid 'getting caught'.

Maybe sexy for Jungkook actually is lying on the couch in your sweatpants making corny faces at your boyfriend.

Remember that he puts out 'stereotypical sexy' on command as part of his job so maybe that doesn't feel very sexy to him. Maybe that's work.

In my view (I know this is subject to interpretation) they've been together for years now. This is not the first flush of love. When you've been with a partner for a while, sex is (hopefully) more fun and less serious. Maybe it's about having the confidence to be wholly unselfconscious.

(My partner makes a Pepé Le Pew face at me when he's goofing. No, i don't know why either... 🤣🤷)

But wait, what about that caption?

What about 난반대로 간다?

My beautiful Korean friend (who sadly has zero interest or care about jikook) confirmed the literal translation:

"I go the other way"

"I take the opposite direction".

It's not "it goes the other way" or "this goes the opposite direction". He's referring specifically to HIMSELF.

Jungkook goes the other way.

But it's more than that according to my friend.

It's a bold statement:

"I don't follow the mainstream."

It reminds me of his tattoo ...

RATHER BE DEAD THAN COOL

He doesn't do things just because everyone else is doing them.

"I don't follow the mainstream."

OK. HOLD UP.

This is where it gets interesting.

Then why would he do something as mainstream as a trending tiktok challenge? Especially something as vapid as this challenge?

And why would he tell us DURING that Tiktok challenge that he DOESN'T follow the mainstream?

And then delete it.

Creating content takes time.

And we know he's a busy man.

He's about to release an album. He's doing live performances. He's prerecording for music shows. He's overseas right now... for the fourth time in a month! Does he have time for this??

And he DELETED it...

Did he just WASTE all that time?

No, he did not.

He deliberately chose to do this.

He did it knowing ARMY studies every action, every video, and every media release.

He did it knowing ARMY would already have copied the video before he took it off his profile.

He said on Stationhead that he knows ARMY has it, and is sharing and posting it. He's FINE with that.

So he took the time to create and upload that video. He wants it out there.

He just doesn't want it on HIS page. That's an important part of the story.

So lets go back to the caption.

"I take the opposite direction"

"I go the other way"

"I don't follow the mainstream."

*Said boldly* remember. It's a loud statement, captioning an otherwise pointless very mainstream trending challenge.

So if he's not referring to tiktok itself, or to uploading challenges, what could he be referring to?

...

...

There's only one thing left: Himself.

I take the opposite direction

I go the other way

I don't follow the mainstream

Essentially... I swing the other way.

There's no way a queer man would make that statement and not fully recognise the message he's sending.

As for deleting the video, I'd say he knew it was too risky to leave on his profile, being a celebrity in Korea. He's managing his brand. Deleting it also gives him plausible deniability. He can say he made an error. As I said, he's very intelligent. He knows ARMY will see it and share it. He knows that those of us with a queer eye will hear the message loud and clear.

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 And we do hear it. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[smashingdollz]

hihi<3 could I request callie and raihan x

Streamer s/o? s/o wants to be the best streamer ever and really likes wearing cute stuff for their streams :3?

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

hi hi anon! i dont write for Callie but i can give it a try! also i love this prompt so much oh my gosh- thank you for the request! have a nice day anon! <3

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞

-Callie tends to use her status as a pop star and former Inkopolis air host as a way to promote your streams! whenever shes in an interview and they ask her what she likes to do in her free time she replies with, "I enjoy watching my partner, Y/Ns streams! theyre really entertaining and fun!" in general she always finds a way to mention your stream.

-and because of Callie youve grown a lot as a streamer, you used to go live for about 50 people a day. which you didnt mind because the community was wonderful. but now thanks to her, youre averaging way more! thanks to her youre community has grown a lot! so many nice people who are fans of Callie join your lives and say so many nice things! youve grown quite a big online family.

-and Callie makes sure to call out the people who say negative things in your lives and reassures that youre the best. she lurks in chat while you steam and whenever she sees a mean comment flow by she calls them out for it. she says, "If youre mean to Y/N, then youre no fan of mine"

-since you enjoy wearing cute stuff in your streams Callie loves to choose out cute outfits for you to wear! and if its a lazy stream were youre just chatting shell pick out a cute cozy onesie for you! she might even make you a cute outfit herself or have one of her designers to make one for you, as a somewhat signature outfit for your streams.

-sometimes Callie will even join you while your streaming, and when she does shell match whatever cute outfit your wearing that stream. this leads you guys into doing a fashion show for youre viewers. youll go find cute outfits and ask chat for their opinions.

-(the two of you would play those cute little dress up/fashion games. and definitely those "Papa's Freezaria/Pizzaria/etc" games)

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐡𝐚𝐧

-much like Callie, he also uses his reputation to promote your streams! whenever hes in interviews hell do the same thing as Callie and find a way to mention your streams! he'll even post about you from time to time.

-he'll buy you cute clothing and cute pokemon onesies for you to wear on stream! he'll have you pose with him and take a picture of and post it online with the caption of; "My partner is live right now! go check them out!" and you automatically get a lot of nice people and comments on your streams!

-he'll happily play games with you on stream. but it will take a lot of convincing for him to put on a Pokemon onesie and sit down with you as you chat with the viewers, he of course gives in because he cant say no to you forever. soon he fully embraces it and takes a photo of the two of you in matching Pokemon onesie and posts it. and sometimes the two of you dress up your own Pokemon in cute things and have them join in on the stream! the viewers really enjoy that.

-he defiantly supports your goal of being one of the best streamers. hes always there to take care of you when youre in need while streamin, need water? hes on it. youre humgry? he makes you a 5 course meal so you could enjoy, he doesnt mind you watibg or drinking on stream but sometimes he makes you take a break so you could actually enjoy yourself and not strain yourself. he makes sure streaming doesnt stress you out and that its something that you should enjoy and not feel like a chore.

-as i said before, he loves to play games with you while streaming. thet two of you would be playing a horror game and people would expect you to be the one screaming and holding onto Raihan, but its actually the opposite. hes screaming at the horrific visuals holding onto you as you concentrate(youre carrying the whole game, he died and just let you go on without him), trying to beat the game so you guys could play a happy two player game.

-(i also feel like he would be absolutely terrified of those Roblox horror games 💀)

i hope you enjoyed this! i had so much fun writing this! (oh also i didnt realize you didnt specify if you wanted a story, headcannons, etc. so i did headcannons by default. next time please specify if you want something specific! /not mad)

[alienaiver]

atsumu's nose scrunches up as he looks at the four images his recently-turned 12 year old niece has sent him on snapchat. it's pixelated pictures of a hatsune miku plushie (whom he knows, thank you very much) with various captions reading drink miku juice, panik atac 😳 a repeat of drink miku juice and then PANIk atAK 🥹. atsumu's not even sure he understands the gist, if there even is one and calls your name as he gets up from the couch to reach you in the bathroom.

you're barely out of the shower when he shoves his phone into your face, "what the hell's this suppos'd to mean?" he asks, eyebrows raised and voice laced in genuine confusion. you squint to get a look at the pink undertoned pictures and quickly gather where he's got it from. his niece is obsessed with hatsune miku and while her uncle respects it, encourages it with gifts even, he can't claim he knows whats going on, exactly. you smirk, "what, you dont get it?"

"hah?" he can barely contain the snarl before he pulls his phone back to get another look, to find the hidden meaning. you carefully start drying yourself off with a shrug, "its okay if youve gotten old, 'tsumu."

the sentence is barely out of your mouth before his eyes are widening and he goes straight to speed dial; you know who hes calling.

being an athlete in your early 30's isnt easy or forgiving and the age complex has hit your husband particularly hard; it doesnt help that his brother, his twin, betrayed him by getting a daughter when they were much younger, letting him feel age that much more clearly watching her grow up. miya osamu the betrayer, is his contact name on atsumu's phone.

the phone barely rings twice before hes storming back into the living room, voice vivid as he barely greets the man on the other end, "'samu! please tell me we're not old yet!"

you let out a snort as you finish up your routine in the bathroom and get into comfortable pajamas for the evening. the bickering of the brothers are heard no matter where in the apartment you situate yourself, "well if I'M old, yer old, too!" you hear him yell with a groan, trying to explain the concept of memes and how they, in his humble opinion, needs to make some goddamn sense.

you cant admit to him now that the meme didnt mean much to you either, that its probably meant to be a little nonsensical and how the trends of his teen memes versus the teen's memes now are vastly different. it'd just hit his complex more and youre not sure neither you nor osamu is ready to deal with that kind of blow.

you enter the living room to find him sprawled on the chaiselong, hugging one of the throw pillows. you come from behind and let your hands travel from his arm and around his chest before grabbing onto his jaw to make him look at you, "'tsumu, you can just reply the misspelling of the word panic back, and call it a day. she won't know you didnt get it."

he theatrically sniffles with raised shoulders and all before he looks at you, "you sure she wont see through me?"

you hold back a grin as you lean down to kiss his cheek, "i promise. she doesnt think of you as old if shes sending you those memes, y'know? fake it 'til you make it or whatever, right?"

atsumu leans up to reel another kiss out of you, and you happily comply. its not fun to see your husband genuinely distressed but you can never really hold back from teasing him. hes got to get over his complex anyway and luckily, you and his twin are masters in calming him back down. he sighs and you cant help but think he looks a little pathetic and sweet as he picks up his phone to open the chat, "so i just write 'PANIK' in bold letters?"

you nod as you hum, massaging the back of his head, "youll sound young and cool if you do that." you reassure with a small smile playing on your lips. you feel him puff out his chest, "well. i am young and cool, so of course shes sending me all the most fire memes, right? because i'm hip."

you laugh this time, throwing your head back before you look at him with so much love in your eyes, "yes, the hippest husband in town. now go clean up after dinner like you promised you'd do while i showered."

[shameboree]

hi i was listening to skin by kyla la grange and i thought the lines ''but i dont wanna hurt you bad boy // wanna make you sad boy'' fit your oc fallon (i think thats her name?? anyway. the one you drew with the caption ''im gonna mess this guy up (horny) that one.) so much

WOAH i was not expecting an ask about my horrible precious child!!

I LOVE that u picked that one anon bc thats actually part of a specific fallon playlist but from the perspective of a char who is losing her husband to the clutches of this horny menace!! fallon doesnt even homewreck bc she is in love w the guy or anything PATHETIC or PETTY like that she does it bc she wants to throw a coup and needs this guy to serve as the figurehead for her revolution, which is a valid and normal reason to destroy a marriage <:3c shes a cocktease homewrecker but like, for totally moral and just reasons. its normal.

SOME FALLON SONGS!!

FROOT by marina 

im your deadly nightshade im your cherry tree

youre my one true love im your destiny

this one bc she is big into weaponized sexuality and she is RELENTLESS abt it. this is primarily used for bonkers shit like starting revolutions (she is big into the kind of justice that says the ends justify the means). also sometimes just bc she decides she just wants to horny menace a man significantly bigger than her (good assertion of dominance!!)

devils resting place by laura marling

any man can hold my gaze has done his job just fine

you just sold your life away to be with me tonight

dont have anything to say abt this one other than shes just a fuckin demon of a Mean Girl

die alone by ingrid michaelson

dont be a fool girl tell him you love him

dont be a fool girl youre not above him

fallon is fucking bananas and WILL have a full blown Five Stages of Grief meltdown when she catches FEELINGS. she is a huge romantic at heart but in a detached sort of abstract way bc she thinks that ultimately she is ABOVE these kinds of WEAK things (she is Not)

kiss the boys as they walk by, call me their baby

but little do they know im just a maybe

maybe my baby will be the one to leave me sore

maybe my baby will settle the score

listen bc she is a very specific sort of ambition brain damaged (a familial trait) she considers literally everything a competition which makes Romance a game shes already starting on a handicap if shes got disgusting little heart palpitations happening. yuck!!

anyway thanks for making the mistake of saying my ocs name!!

[golbrocklovely]

Im just gonna say it, her post was weird. There are other ways to “show” people you too hurt. But even more than that, no one is expecting her to show that nor is anyone under the assumption that she doesnt. I’ve lost loved ones too but i dont think that should be the means to be able to give an opinion on stuff like this. Not everything is meant to me content and just the thought of posting your phone against your sink,pressing record while you look into the mirror and cry is weird as fuck, then what you play it back? It doesnt seem genuine. Obviously you’re going to hurt when loosing a parent i just don’t get the point in having to prove that you do and in that particular way. Like that other person said, posting that then posting a video of the lip-synching while also realizing that the day she filmed herself crying was the day she was dancing in Mitch’s basement has got me scratching my head.

My opinion doesnt change anything but thats just how i feel, not everything has to be proven, not everything is meant to be “content”, and not everything needs to be posted to be genuine. It reminds me of these fake apology videos where they record themselves crying and forcing the tears out, no one needs to see that to know youre sorry. Everything is for attention now a days.

i agree it's weird, but i also don't really care that she did it either. and while there are ways to show that you're hurt, if that's how she wanted to do it, there's nothing wrong with that in my book.

wanting attention isn't a bad thing. we all want attention. it's what you do to get the attention that can be negative or positive. her crying in her bathroom and then posting the video with a sad song and caption isn't hurting anyone or herself, so there's nothing wrong with it. i personally wouldn't do it, but clearly she didn't mind showing that side of herself.

and there definitely is a strange performance side to it, since you have to start the video, cry, stop it at some point, and then pick a song and write a caption. but if that helps her feel better, then i don't think it's bad. it's weird, i won't deny that. i don't think it comes across as completely disingenuous, since clearly she does miss her father a lot. you can look at any of her social media and see that.

there is a difference between what she did and what someone in an apology video does.

when a person in an apology video cries, best case scenario, is they realized they fucked up and are legitimately sorry about it so that's why they're emotional. but most ppl who cry in apology videos aren't doing it for that reason. they cry so ppl won't be harsh towards them, so that when their fans watch the video they can leave comments like "see, they didn't mean to say the n word 60 times in one second! that was two months ago, they're a changed person. look how upset they are at their past actions!" they want sympathy. they want the ppl they hurt to not be as hurt anymore bc "look i'm crying too which means i'm in pain". or, some probably cry bc they realize how much trouble (and money) this is gonna cost them.

stas is crying bc she's mourning the loss of her father. if you want to argue she's trying to get sympathy too, sure, i guess so. but it's not the same as someone trying not to be judged as harshly or called out for their wrongdoings. she's not crying to get sympathy bc of a fuck-up she did. she didn't do anything wrong. she's just expressing her emotions.

is it weird? sure. is it wrong? no, i don't think so.

[fiddleheadfinn]

your description post is really lovely! however, as someone who needs descriptions and doesnt use a screenreader, tumblr alt text still isnt accessible enough for alt-only descriptions to be the most accessible option. the alt text box that pops up is eye straining on many themes, even default, and isnt viewable on all devices. there are also several bugs with alt on tumblr, like one where screenreaders stop reading the rest of it after a certain point or even not at all, so personally i still elect to put my description in the body of the post if i can help it since it guarantees access to as many who need it as possible. ultimately any description on there is better than none, but even if u move to alt only, people will likely still copy and paste ur descriptions into a reblog for reasons like these

This is actually a great example of the importance of context when choosing what type of descriptions to use!

I personally have similar issues with reading long text, but on my art blog I choose to use short alt-text instead of body-text descriptions because I am a visual artist and the most important information in most of my works is the visual stuff. I follow folks who post photos of book pages. In those cases, it's important to get a full transcription because the information is either text-based, or a graphical representation of a concept that can be put into words. As you point out, paragraphs of writing in the alt-text are hard on the eyes and not best practice. (But WTF at Tumblr cutting off descriptions and not supporting all devices?)

In the case of visual art, though, the most important information often cannot be translated directly into text. When I draw a picture of a pansy, it's not just a "drawing of a pansy," but the feelings created by the way I chose to draw it. I want the viewer to look & experience the colors, shapes, textures, etc before looking to me for a spoon-fed explanation of what it is or what it means. It's like how art teachers will bring you on a museum field trip and tell you to look at the painting before reading the caption next to it. Sometimes people talk about "prioritizing aesthetics over accessibility," but I think we also need to take seriously that sometimes the imagery is what needs to be spotlighted.

Personally, I balance these competing needs by using alt-text instead of body-text descriptions, but it's not the One Right Answer.

[sneez]

the english civil wars + the onion (1/2)

[socksnstuff00]

what is your fave photo of Crocodile and Turtle together?

aw Annie 😂 bold of you to asume i have only one. i'll give you a top five and it pains that i'll have to leave so many out.

5. im sorry Alissa and Ali but the wives looks so good on this one. so fresh, so coordinated, so gay

4. grateful and blissful is exactly how i feel whenever this pic crosses my dash lmao. the very definition of out and proud

3. this one because they look exactly like what they are. two superstars 🤩 that Hollywood bling i mean, just look at Crispy! hot damn!

2. i think this one doesnt even need a caption lmao Treble explained it all herself 😂 it was really hard not to make it #1 lol the moment in time this represent, the soft looks, the love on their eyes, the adoration on her words.. everything about this pic is magic ✨

1. this one is my ABSOLUTE fave cause i love the casual display of playfulness and intimacy. in this one they're no teammates, no fancy event, no sport or work thing.. just them casually sitting on a changing room exposing the fact they're hanging out together just the two of them ❤️ and Tickles shared it herself like the show off she is lol

[azenkii]

zukka tiktok au where sokka does one of those 'im in love with my best friend' things and he's like 'so zuko's birthday is in a week and i'm gonna do one stupidly cliche romantic thing for him every day until his birthday and if he still hasn't figured it out by then i'll just straight up kiss him - well, technically gay up, but you know what i mean'

so sokka goes all out with the romantic cliches and zuko still thinks they're just bros doing bro things and filming it for sokka's tiktok, even though they're baking cakes and stargazing and going on ice-skating dates together (and sokka's comment section is getting progressively more frustrated because 'you FED him CAKE BATTER how does he not know yet' and 'dude im sorry but your crush is the densest guy ive ever seen you bought him a full bouquet and all he said was he doesnt have any vases')

so then on zuko's birthday he, being the oblivious dumbass that he is, still hasn't figured it out yet. and to his followers' surprise, sokka doesn't do anything super obviously romantic? they just make a pillow fort and sit in it eating pizza and popcorn and watching old slapstick movies, and zuko's like 'you should apologise to your followers this is the least eventful thing you've ever posted' and sokka's like 'oh hohoHO i beg to differ' and he leans over and kisses him

except he does it in a really stupid way with like fish lips and a big 'MWAH' sound so he and zuko end up laughing and then sokka just? stops recording? and all his followers are like 'W HAT HAPPENED WE NEED TO KNOWWW'

two hours later sokka uploads a video of zuko sleeping with his head in sokka's lap and he captions it 'guys look at my boyfriend' and his followers go CRAZY

[deerixiie]

FACETIME WITH THE HQ BOYS

-> headcanons on what facetime with the hq boys would be like!!

pairings: iwaizumi x gn!reader, tanaka x gn!reader, nishinoya x gn!reader, kita x gn!reader

warnings/genre: fluff, some language, mentions of being drunk

—iwaizumi hajime

facetiming you is actually one of iwaizumi’s favorite thing to do!!

he likes being able to see you and talk to you even if it’s not in person

it becomes a routine to facetime while you do homework during the week or before you go to sleep on fridays

he listens in on all your rants and even gives advice sometimes

he’s a Team Mom so he has all the tea, will 100% spill it to you half asleep at 1 in the morning

it’s mostly just him ranting about oikawa lmao

he’s also the one who’s like “go to sleep” when his eyes are half closed and he’s obviously the one about to pass out

doesnt take that much screenshots, though he will if you laugh really hard or make a cute face

but he would also insult oikawa to make you laugh and then take a quick screenshot (it becomes his lockscreen)

constantly scolding you about “being too loud” or “staying up too late” when he’s doing it too 😐

he’s probably the one that falls asleep first though when he isnt he takes a bunch of screenshots and sends them you with captions like “you fell asleep dumbass” or “told you you should’ve slept”

if he’s feeling really soft he’ll send a picture of you asleep with smth sweet like “you look cute” or “❤️” he’s trying i swear

since he gets sleepy he will definitely just say random bs and it’s so funny!! but but that also means he will get soft and tell you he wants to marry you and raise a family (he wants a son and daughter SO bad okay)

—tanaka ryuunosuke

he uses every opportunity he gets to talk to you

he will text you “hey babe wyd wanna ft?” and then facetime you 30 seconds later without waiting for a response

constantly taking screenshots. you never get a good view of his face because of it

most excellent listener on earth. need someone to rant to? turn to him. have a speech you’re practicing? have him listen. need advice on what to wear to your aunt’s wedding? he’ll rate every outfit for you.

occasionally he’ll ask you for advice, though it’s pretty much him asking you for help on homework 💀

will definitely pull an all-nighter with you even though his body is begging him to sleep. hypes you up the entire time

if you’re doing smth independently and he’s not talking and it’s silent for a sec, he’ll just blurt out a random compliment out of nowhere like

you: ✍️✍️✍️

tanaka:

tanaka: hey babe you’re cute lol

sometimes he’ll be talking and he’ll go on a little tangent and have the audacity to apologize for ranting

consensual king so he asks before he posts his screenshots, when he does he puts smth like “ft with bae 😍” as the caption. it’s very concerning but he’s trying his best <3

plots his entire future w you... especially if he’s tired and his head is a little blurry. deadass will pull out a google doc and plot how your wedding will go, where you go for your honeymoon, where you live, baby names, all that jazz. he will get so embarrassed if you bring it up later but he is dead serious about it

if you’re doing homework there’s a good chance he’s not so he’ll just be scrolling through his fyp on ft with you... will randomly burst out laughing and send the tiktok to you begging you to watch it

—nishinoya yuu

facetimes you whenever he likes and it’s usually at the ungodly hours of the night

he just straight up calls you out of nowhere at the most random times. 8/10 it’s at 3 in the morning on a school night and he’s bored so he wants to talk to you

he’s really good at carrying a convo so he ends up talking with you for hours?? and it’s about the most ridiculous things too

asks you to teach him a tiktok dance at 1 in the morning and will do it for you.

KAROKE!! he knows the yarichin theme by heart and will sing it for you pLEASE

he loves ur smile sm so he tries his hardest to make you laugh and takes screenshots

his favorite thing to do other than talk is play truth or dare... he always picks dare and sometimes always breaks 😭

sometimes he’ll go quiet randomly and you find him just staring at you, then he’ll say he loves you in that voice of his (SBSSHSHZJ HES SO HOT)

the ft calls usually end when he tires himself out and falls asleep mid-sentence. just stay on the call anyway so you can hear his morning voice so he can say gm to you <3

i have no idea how he does it but somehow nishinoya wakes up before you and sends you screenshots of you sleeping with captions like “ur so cute when you sleep baby” or “sleepy baby :(“

a picture of you sleeping is ur new contact photo and lock screen and he brags about it

—kita shinsuke

facetimes you every night to check on you

he expects these to be very quick but ends up on call with you for hours

semi-talkative, will ask you questions like if you’re eating okay and hydrating or if you need help on your homework

he just loves being around you, especially if it’s just quiet time existing together

will help you with your homework 100%. walks it through with you and regularly checks to make sure you’re getting it. he’ll say he’s proud of you if you get a question right!

has a sixth sense when you need to vent. if you’re quiet and like doing hw he’ll just say “love, is everything alright?” and suddenly you’re spilling everything and he’s nodding along and giving you advice

LOVES HEARING YOU LAUGH!! especially if you’re the type that gets giggly when it’s late!! you’ll catch him smiling so much

he secretly loves it if you fall asleep on ft!! will say a soft “i love you, sleep well” and then he texts you a long paragraph about how he loves you and is proud of you and that he hopes you rest well (marry!! him!!)

if he wants to take a screenshot he’ll take it and then ask you if he can keep it. consensual king we stan 😤‼️

okay i headcanon that kita gets rlly talkative when he’s really sleepy (or drunk but we aren’t talking about that shh) so if he’s still on ft with you when he gets sleepy he just talks. tease him about it in the morning he’ll get so blushy

[txdoroki]

Hello ^^~

May I request Todoroki, Bakugo, Midoriya and Denki's reaction to the readers confession? In which they also have a crush on the reader? 💜

hi! yes ofc,, sorry it took so long for me to get back to you! been busy >,<

since it’s so long it’ll be under the cut :^

include todoroki, bakugou, midoriya, denki, kirishima :P 

might do a pt 3, lmk what characters yall wanna see ^-^

part 2 has been done

words: 1696

not edited btw i wrote this at 4am lmk if something doesnt make sense and i’ll fix it ahhhhhhhhhh

todoroki would be like 0-0 the entire time.

“hey todoroki, wanna go out on a date with me? we could go to the movies or wherever, it’s your choice,” you smiled up at him while he walked beside you, carrying both of your bags of schoolwork and books while he stared off at the road in front of you both.

he had always made an effort to do small, caring things for you. he’d hold the door, carry your books, or walk you home after school among many other things. you didn’t think much of it, you’d both been friends for a while, so you figured he was just being kind. no, no that wasn’t it.. he was just bad at showing he wanted to be more than just kind. more than just your friend from a while ago.

he was taken aback by your question, and internally cursed at himself for not asking you weeks ago. 

“um, todoroki?” you softly shook his arm when he seemed to have zoned out on the ground, but your bright smile didn’t fade. he adored that from you, he loved how eager you were to spend time with him. to talk with him. to try and learn about him. to do anything at all with him. you were so sweet and understanding, always. 

“oh, yeah sure,” he nodded at you, glancing down at you from sheer nervousness that you’d be laughing at him. that it’d be a prank. 

when you picked up on how on the edge he seemed to be, you leaned into him a bit, a goofy attempt at ensuring you wanted to go and it wasn’t a forced thing.

“you know, i’ve liked you for a while,” you grinned at him, winking when you saw his eyes quickly flash between content and joy. 

“me too,”

bakugou would be like ??!??!?!?!?!?!!???!?!!? who???? me??!?!?!?!?!!?? how??!?!?!?!?!?! screaming internally but on the outside like duhhhh

“hey, bakugou, i have a crush on you, by the way,” you whispered in his ear from behind the beanbag chair he was seated in. him and denki were in the middle of a wii tennis match, mina, sero, and kirishima all focusing on it to see who won.

“what? fucking dumbass, hold on a sec,” he scoffed when you ran your hair through his hair, ruffling it while he tried batting your hand away with his free one.

he tried to maintain focus on the match, lowkey trying to impress you with him winning. it was difficult, his mind kept drifting off to you and your cute face and your cute- back to the game, he’s gotta win. for you. after what felt like forever, he finally won, then dragged you out of denki’s dorm.

 “ooo sneaky link?” you heard mina giggle, and the three boys that remained in the dorm roared with laughter.

it got louder when bakugou screamed over his shoulder as he took you by the hand away from the dorm, “fuck off, extra, hell no,”

once you were both out of earshot he smirked, “so, you think i’m hot?” he rolled his eyes when you giggled and nodded, and a blush covered both of your faces, “well, you’re okay, i guess,”

“so when’s the date?” you smiled at him, chuckling when he pulled out his phone to check his fucking calendar app. such an old man.

after a few seconds, he pulled up a date on his phone and turned it to you. only a week from then.. ”february 14,” he winked at you and walked away, not even turning back, “see you at the dorm, dumbass,”

midoriya would be like  ≧◉◡◉≦

“all might’s spot as the top hero will not be easily passed by endeavor, or anyone else. he’s great for many reasons, would you like to hear them?” he only paused for a second, turning his head to see your amused nod before immediately continuing, “well first of all his quirk is-”

“midoriya, i wanna date you, if you want,” you interrupted and slowly put a hand on his arm, softly smiling at him.

“huh?” the small sentence shook him from his ranting, and he turned his entire body to look at you. your cheeks heated from the disoriented stare he gave you. he was that shaken up by something you’d said? “really?” 

“yes, of course. you’re very handsome and very passionate and ve-”

“yeah of course i’ll date you, thank you, y/n,” he kissed your forehead before turning back to the school hallway, ignoring the excited giggles of his classmates, “okay, so all might’s quirk is obvi....” his mind started wandering to how excited he was at the thought of dating you. it was a dream come true. “oh, sorry, so his quirk is obviously very good for hero w-”

“midoriya, can we go to your dorm after school?” you interrupted him again, smiling sweetly at him. sometimes it was difficult for him to not talk about heroes and all about them all, but you understood and tried helping out with other things.

“oh, of course, sweetie.. hah, can i call you sweetie? or would you prefer just y/n?” he began going on and on about the different things he wanted to call you if you were comfortable, not stopping until you grabbed his wrist and dragged him to both of yours next bell. 

ugh, calculus.

denki is like oh.? hehehehehehehehe 

you were sprawled out on your best friend’s bed, laying starfish on your back as you huffed about how frustrated and annoying today was. although you held back the most important part. it was especially frustrating how much you adored him. the good ole denki kaminari. you had these feelings for quite a while, trying your best not to confess. i mean, he was a class flirt, he wouldn’t like you back, right?

nah. he hadn’t flirted with anyone other than you in months. and you were the only one that didn’t pick up on it. 

“c’mon, y/n, i know you aren’t telling the full story. say what’s on your mind,” denki lightly ran his fingers up and down your right leg. it tickled but not enough to be uncomfortable. 

“i can’t,” you groaned, giggling when he rolled his eyes and persisted, saying no matter what he wouldn’t tell anyone.

“if you tell me, i’ll give you five bucks, y/n,” he chuckled when you sighed and finally nodded. when you sat up, he turned so you could tell he was listening to what you had to say.

“fine, but only for the money,” you giggled, “i uh.. i’ve been interested in you for a really long time now.. but i understand if you don-” 

wait what

he kissed you, moving his hand up to cup your cheek. your eyes slowly closed, leaning into his touch.

holy shit he kissed you???

when you were let go, your cheeks felt burning hot.

“denk-”

he kissed you again, and you melted into it. it felt like fireworks, euphoria filling your body.

“so does this mean you like me back?” you nervously played with your hands, trying your best to disregard the harsh red blush that was thrown on your face.

“well, duh, took ya long enough,” he chuckled, brushing some of your hair out of your face.

you cried out when you heard the click of his phone camera, and went to hide yourself.

“awe you look so beautiful, y/n. can’t wait to brag about you, baby,” he winked at you, typing something into his phone.

later that day you checked snapchat and saw on his private story the photo of you plus a caption, it read, 

“they finally realized, big dummy. y/n if you see this, you’re lucky you’re a good kisser ;)”

you shook your head and ran to his dorm, pounding on the door. you were gonna beat him up.

kirishima is a big ole softie duhhh everyone knows this. he best boy, no arguing!!

you sighed as kirishima held you to his chest, the lovely feeling of your growing feelings for him hummed in your chest. you had tried hard to push it back, how would that work out? would he reciprocate? was this only platonic?

“are you alright, y/n?” he whispered into your neck when he heard the sigh, trying to hide the deep red hue on his cheeks from you.

you both had agreed not to catch feelings for each other, fine at first with just cuddles and sweet compliments. no specific ties to the affections, just a way for the both of you to feel loved. an ideal thing to have, except that both of you were slowly breaking the agreement. 

you both ached for each other, but neither of you wanted to be the first to admit it. it was simply too risky.

“y-yeah, sorry, just thinking,”

“awe, no need to be sorry, pumpkin, what’s that pretty brain of yours thinking of?” he ran his fingers through your hair, appreciating the shivers of content that had you moving a small bit in his hold.

when you didn’t respond, he cocked an eyebrow, wondering if you hadn’t heard him or if you just chose to be quiet.

“pebble, what’re you thinking about?” he asked again, gently running his hand up and down your arm.

too deep in your thoughts to actually comprehend you were saying this out loud and not in your head, you whispered, “i wanna date you, i don’t want this to be just platonic. i need to be with you, kiri,”

“oh? you need to?” he smirked, chuckling when your eyes widened as you realized you had actually said that out loud, “well, if it’s a need.. i can make it happen, of course,”

“w-wait what?”

“you said you need to be with me, you weren’t lying, were you?” you slowly shook your head no, avoiding his gaze that bore into your skin, “let’s do that then, how’s that sound, pumpkin?”

“good,” you smiled into his chest, trying to move your hand to your arm to pinch you. were you dreaming?

you weren’t, this was real.

the man you’d liked for a while liked you back, oh hell yeah.

[ndiecity]

idk ur still doing the confessions thing but anyway. it's not really wild or anything, i just needed to get it off my chest lol (you can ignore this if you want this gets pretty long and confusing i think so buckle up)

also shoutout to the 6th grade anon, i had a similar 6th grade exp. middle schoolers are the worst. i literally had little no friend AND was bullied lol.

anyway there was this one girl in my class that was like a sorta popular girl i was friends with. so during 6th grade, i had no friends except for her (i dont think she saw me as a friend tho or were even friends in the first place?? idk) and i would always crave her attention. i didn't know i had a crush on her i think.

(side note: i would rate the girls in my class based on how pretty and nice to me they are, (i think i put her on 2nd lol))

so then whenever she was absent for the day i would feel sad and all that shit. whenever she was around i always do anything to please her or make her think im cool or something (i was not cool, i was a loser). we would talk endlessly on messenger, talking abt random shit, how shitty her mom was, how shitty my mom was etc. one time during our first class for the day (which was about 5am i think) she was acting weird, i asked her about it, she said her stomach hurt. so me, being all lovesick and shit gave her my lunch ( i didn't have lunch money and only had sandwiches lol) when she thanked me for it, and said she felt better, i felt so proud. idk i just felt so happy then

fast forward to end of 6th grade, we were graduating. by that i mean transitioning from 6th grade to 7th grade. anyway. so we graduated, kept in touch, still messaged her on messenger, and then school got in the way and my phone got taken away cuz i failed sum classes in the 2nd quarter. never had it back since. so we didnt talk for about 4 years.

so back in 2020, my parents got me a laptop for school, and i made a new mess. acc. i reached out to her again. we talked, talked abt shitty moms, i found out she's bi and i told her im a lesbian. after a few days i asked her if she'd ever had a gf or bf or whatever (like the idiot i was) and said she didnt have to answer if she didnt want to obvi. she said yes she's had bf's before. i said, cool. then she asked me why i was asking i told her i was just curious.

then came out of nowhere, she said, "wanna try?" so then my brain shut off and i didnt reply for minutes then she just sent a "haha"

and she was like, "oh sorry was that weird? sorry😬"

but i said it was fine and shit. we didnt talk about it for about a day.

then we were talking again and i was like, "so this is gonna sound weird but do you ever like, like someone and would want a romantic relationship with them but wouldn't like, mind being their friend instead? like youre in the middle?"

and she said "yeah, i have" so then i was like "oh cool, cool"

then she asked, "why? have you?" and i said yes.

then she asked who. and my brain shut off again lmaoo so i was just like "you" the speech bubble appeared multiple times lmao then i followed up with like, "sorry! that was weird! please just forget about it!"

then she was like, "no no, it's fine. i feel the same way" (and i beliived it. how naive was i?)

so then i was like, "really?? cool cool cool" (im a really awkward person okay)

then after a few minutes of talking again (you know when you're like flirting as a joke but then it's not a joke anymore? lol) she was like, "so wanna be my gf?"

my brain shut off again. i didnt answer for a few minutes cuz my brain was dead. then she was like, "um was that too fast? that was too fast sorryy"

by the time i read that my hand was shaking lmaoo (from nervousness or shock i dont know) so i hastily replied with, "nah its fine. i would love too" after overthinking it and shit

does dating count when your just talking over text? what is dating????

anyway we flirt a lot, saying goodnight, i love you's and shit. she said i was her first gf, i said she was my first relationship and what not. i was genuinely happy. i had a person who understood me, and liked me, and i was happy. she even said she saved my bday on her phone

so then like about a week and a before my bday was when shits started to go down.

i messaged her, said a quick goodmorning cuz i had classes and how i wanted to kill myself and shit like that (dont worry, im not actively suicidal and she already knew this) she replied and i quote "Good morning, love. I love you."

then like after classes, i messaged her, asked how her day was, told her about my day etc. i waited about an hour. (she doesnt typically reply for about 10 - 15 minutes cuz duh she does have a more eventful life than mine) so i thought none of it. thought she was just busy. so it was nighttime and still no word from her. so i said good night and wished for her to be safe.

morning came, i checked my messages, still nothing, she didnt even see it yet. i went on with my day thinking nothing of it. told myself she might have some problems at home and all that. by the 3rd day, i was pretty anxious and i couldnt think properly. my brain conjuring up scenarios where her mom found out, and her phone got taken away. anything just to convince myself what the dreaded truth was.

it was the 5th day was when i gave up. i saw she changed her pfp, and captioned it like she would normally caption it. replied to the comments, that kind of shit. so then i was so mad by then so i commented too. ofc she didnt reply. i spent days worrying over her safety, when in reality she's just an asshole. and i really thought she really like me you know? i really thought she'd at least considered me as her friend, i guess not

my bday came, we had a party but i wasn't really feeling it ya know? by then i'd already spent the past week crying myself to sleep. no one noticed a thing.

a few months ago i saw she had a bf, and by that time i already felt like my old self again, no longer the broken pathetic shell she left. i was back to square one. so i cried again.

present day, i still see her posts, her ig stories, (i dont think she blocked me). and i cant bring myself to block her either. like idk on one hand i'm so mad that she just left me hanging, that her relationship with her new bf lasted longer than we were together and on the other i knew if she ever reached out again, i would latch on to every inch of her. (that's probably bad lol)

anyway have a nice day/afternoon/night!!!! i hope i havent troubled you too much lol sorry!

Damn that's a lot to take in, I'm sorry 😔

[makeusfreefromthisfandom]

How They Snapchat

A/n: yes I did everyone bc why not 😌✨ long post ahead but I had a lot of fun doing these! I hope you have just as much fun reading them!

❥Iwatobi

Haru

Is he even on Snapchat?

Lmao

He was forced to by Rin before he left for Australia

Haru forgets about it. The only time he posts are when he’s out with Rin and it’s Rin who’s the one posting for him

Makoto

Cats!

Omg he’s going to be posting snaps of him and the neighborhood cat

But he’s also posting snaps of him and Haru

most of the time it’s a Nagisa take over and Makoto’s memories are FILLED with Nagisa’s snaps and random videos

He won’t ever delete them ahaha

He’s the type who’s snap is always messing up lolol and he starts panicking about it too 😭

Never the one to leave you on read. A true king.

Nagisa

Ooffff

Yk those people on snap who have like 5 different private stories and are CONSTANTLY posting on ALL of them and somehow you are also on ALL of them

Yeah...

That feature on snap where you just swipe up to be added to someone’s private story? Nagisa is always doing that

There’s no point of calling it a private anymore

Also a spammer, doesn’t care if you do streaks or not

He’s the type who posts videos and pictures of his friends OFF GUARD OMG HES THOSE TYPE OF PEOPLE AJSJSJJSJS

And he gets it at JUST the right moment

poor Rei

Filters. Not the ones that make you look good. The weird ass ones.

Oh also that big mouth filter is his fav (yk the one that everyone uses when they need to rant ajsjsjsjsj)

Can you imagine him on tik tok LMFAO

Rei

Aesthetics ✨

Sunset/sky pics

Also it’s basically Nagisa running his snap too

Selfie e’rryday (courtesy of Nagisa ofc)

Gou

Selfies with the galsssss😆😝

So many swim team memories 🥺

Nagisa likes doing the whole “amosc” thing on her story too without her knowing xb

Has a private story but Rin’s not apart of it 😌🤚🏽

He gets super butthurt when he finds out tho bc the rest of the guys are

Why hasn’t she blocked Momo yet?😭😭😭

SHE DOESNT WANT TO SEE YOUR BEETLE MY GUY

I feel like she rants but she doesn’t even use that one filter to do it. The gorl says what she’s gotta say

But she still likes using the cute little filters tho <3

The group chat maker.

❥Samezuka

Rin

11:11 snaps

He has a whole separate private story for his sad hours and quotes

Late night workout/gym pics. With the time sticker

Also he’s the type to be posting selfies of him and his buddies too :b

snaps of his music

sad playlists

Thinks streaks are stupid but probably does them anyways ajsjsjjsjsjs especially if it’s someone he’s crushing on

ALWAYS checking Gou’s stories bc protective brother things

Always flashing his signature sharky grin

Those people that are confident and intimidating on snap but in reality they’re baby and soft🥺

Sousuke

Black screens.

Ceiling snaps.

leaves you on read

but it’s bc he doesn’t know what to even reply with

Doesn’t really snap like that, he mostly just has it so that it’s another way to keep in touch with acquaintances and friends

Will once in awhile get snaps from Aii and Momo which he’ll just laugh and smile to

Aii

He has a group chat on there for the swim team

He’ll send snaps to Rin and Sousuke sometimes

Cant quite get out of Nagisa’s snap spamming tho, he’s considered blocking

Momo

Do I even need to say anything?

Pyunsuke.

Period.

ITS JUST HIS FREAKIN STAG BEETLE

captions the snaps with things like “isn’t he precious 🥺” “GUYS PYUNSUKE LEARNED A NEW TRICK!!!”

Has a whole story dedicated to “Pyunsuke’s Adventures”

Please all the boys have left that priv story

Aii stays tho bc he’s nice like that

Regrets it everyday.

Also big bro Sei likes to take over his snaps from time to time

Seijuro

He’s got all the fan girls yo 😎🤏🏽

Work out snaps

Swimming snaps in his speedo

Face snaps

He also succeeds in getting selfies with Haru as they’re on the same swim team now 😎🤏🏽

Exposes the younger mikoshibas’ baby pics

NEVER lets the chance go to take a snap when all the mikoshiba siblings reunite

❥Highspeed+Hiyori

Asahi

Inspirational quotes on his mirror selfies

Ooooof Kisumi takeover 24/7

I feel like he’s into aesthetic snaps and phone photography too so yeah lots of coffee shop aesthetics

He still does streaks :b

Forced to have one with Kisumi

Never snaps him back tho

He likes posting his nephew too 🥺

He ends up getting a kick to the face right when he snaps the pic tho

The type to be like “dhmu”

“Only the real ones know”

Kisumi

Has to document all his coffee/food runs

His “vlogs”

Kisumi. Omg KISUMI. He’s that ONE friend who has embarrassing pictures of EVERYONE

Omg you cannot tell me that he’s not a little blackmailer with a smile plastered on his face 24/7

Jkjk

You sly little fox

The exposing type aksjjsjsjsjsjs also my fellow key smasher 😎

That one person who’s always recording at just the right moments

He does streaks too! Although the one with Asahi was completely unintentional and now they’re over 300 days

Pretty selfies all the time! 💖

Has like 1000+ friends and claims to know them all

What can I say, he’s a popular guy~

Ikuya

s t a r s

Askskksksjs

Not the type to really post, more of the type to just watch

An occasional selfie with Hiyori

Sometimes he’ll be sitting at the park or smth with a nice view and he’ll decide to snap a pic

Always has swipe up on Asahi’s stories to remind him of his stupidity

A lot of snaps from Natsuya of his travels or what he’s doing atm

The only person he’ll actually regularly snapback to

Those late night snaps/texts from a special someone never fail to bring a small smile to his lips tho🥺

The type to watch his monthly recaps and 1/2/3 and so on year agos

Natsuya

T r a v e l s

The airport at 4am

The plane

MIRROR SELFIES 🤤

FACE SELFIES 🤤🤤

lots of Nao snaps haha, most of them are saved in his memories tho

He actually has tons of selfies with a bunch of new people that he meets in his travels like Rin!

He also gets Ikuya into taking a selfie with him ;b

HIS SMILE 🥺 omg he’s always flashing a smile in his snaps 🥺

Also doesn’t really do streaks, but he likes to let his close fellas know what he’s doing and where he’s currently at so they unintentionally start anyways

Gets asked for his snap a lot- too bad he’s claimed me as his wife 😙

Nao

Doesn’t really use Snapchat that much unless he’s talking to like the 4 closet people he knows including Natsu

Also more of a watcher than a poster

Wait that sounded wrong akskksks-

Like I mean he watches others’ stories rather than posting stuff on his own

Wait why do I feel like he actually watches those snap stories yk like the buzzfeed ones and dailymail, etc 😭😭

Tends to leave Natsuya on open

Hiyori

Stalks Ikuya on maps

Ok but he doesn’t really post on his story unless it’s a selfie with Ikuya

Or he just wants to share his coffee shop/library aesthetic akaksksksk

More of a memory keeper

Like his memories are definitely filled but he doesn’t always post them

Never leaves you on open. Thinks it’s wrong. Will always snapback/reply 🥺

OH OMG YK WHEN U ACCIDENTALLY POST SOMETHING ON YOUR STORY AND IMMEDIATELY REGRET IT LIKE YK THOSE MOMENTS?

That’s literally Hiyori but he would d i e

LMAO

Too scared to screenshot anything too

I think he also secretly watches those subscription and publisher stories

Taglist: @starbornecentral @enai-jigoku @allieturs @syrenblubs @todominica @kkbear @thatfreeshit @lowkeystasha @animatedarchives @cha0tically0rganized @ourfallenthoughts @akaashirin @ever4wolf (let me know if you would like to be added or removed!)

[0w0]

Hey so more posting about my intimate mental health on Tumblr, because it is the void I scream into when I'm overwhelmed on deciding which interpersonal connection to dump this on

I've officically lost like 20 lbs in the past two months from just... Pretty much hardly eating. Officially relapsed 🤪 (the emoji is ironic and is an attempt to mask my true ditress)

I've largely come to the conclusion that it is because of depression. I do not eat because I simply feel like I, myself, am not worth maintaining. It's the same reason why hygene and chorws are hard. Everything just feels empty despite my best efforts, eating just is more work to keep doing something that ultimately, my mental illness makes me feel is pointless.

I've attempted suicide, yeah, but passive self harm has always been what lean on when I'm to lethargic to even hurt myself when I get the impulse.

The thing is, I'm scared. I'm super scared. I like that I'm losing weight. I want to be smaller. I want to take up less space and no feel so fucking fat and disgusting. (Being fat is not disgusting, and fat people are not bad. But my perception of self is really fucked up and thats how it comes out when I look at myself when combined with societal beauty standards).

Despite being scared-- I like how an empty stomach feels. Before it turns into pain, I mean. I like the hallow feeling, for the same reason I like sex. It's a physical sensation that puts me back in my body, especially when dissociating, which I do a majority of the time.

I used to purge, after binging. I won't state dates because depsite everything I'm spilling here, there's still some information I don't need out there. But I say that, because I never considered myself bulimic. Its not like it was chronic. There's a reason I gained like, 100 lbs through adulthood-- I stopped doing that shit.

One of my favorite memes online ever had this caption: "I had and eating disorder and all o have to show for it is this gross fetish". Emetophilia? Hello my old friend.

There's a certain part of me that has sexualized some of the pain I'm going through. That's what being hypersexual does, I guess, but it also feels like a way to dull the ache. Instead of calling it self harm, I call it needleplay, skin embroidery, make it an art. Make it palatable that way, for myself and others. I know it doesnt though, it's still worrying. And I'm not actively trying to transmute feelings associated with depression into something better, like sexuality. It just has .. kind of happened in my brain at some point.

I distinctly remember a time when I was in highschool. I was feeling incredibly sick, but I was on my bus ride home. I was nauseous, felt like I was going to puke, I was dizzy-- it aroused me. A few fucked up things were arousing as a teenager, and that's definitely impacted my long-term health and how I inherently respond to certain stimuli or situations: inappropriately.

As far back as I can remember, everything always circled back to sex for me. I don't remember and csa that my have happened, I don't think I was molested as a child. Bust started at 13, I had very unhealthy relationships until adulthood that hinged on sex. Whether I slept with boys or girls, it didn't matter, it was usually the same. I've had maybe 10 sexual partners in my life-- the fact I was in a relationship that was monogamous for 7 of it's 9 years was the only thing that kept that number from being much, much higher. I had many opportunities to sleep around and cheat. The impulsive desire was there, but I never did it. Was that self restraint? It feels charitable calling it that, but sure. I didn't want to hurt or betray my partner. Not in that way.

Suffice to say, everything is a pile of noodles and all my words are crossed.

Its like have synesthesia but instead of seeing sounds, everything is wirex directly to my dick. What a life, folks

Cheers to therapy making me think I guess. I'll follow this up with my therapist or a future psychiatrist.

🤷

[dopaminegyro]

and now, because i dont wanna do my homework, here are the top 10 dave images i have on my ipad from my totally neurotypical binge reading yesterday

(homestuck spoilers ahead)

#10

ft. karkat

i dont think this image needs a caption. 

#9

👍

#8

dave has an impeccable sense of humor (i dont know what impeccable means but it sounds fitting so it stays)

#7

once again, dave has a great sense of humor. look at that. fucking amazing. couldnt have drawn that better myself

#6

ft. karkat again

look at them. fucking vibing.

now, this is where its gets tricky. figuring out the order of 5-2 was very difficult, so please take the numbered list as merely a suggestion because all of these next images are almost equal in how much i like them

#5

ft. karkat again and john also this time

fucking chilling bro. hell yeah. karkats even smiling over there

#4

which was originally gonna be closer to the number 1 spot but theres a lot of good ones in here. also ft karkat and john again

now THIS is what polyamory is all about (/j)

#3

ft. john

this one doesnt need a caption either i think. good image. 

#2

ft. karkat

ah yes, a classic. i think this one speaks for itself

aaaand big 

#1

lets go baby

this is my ffavorite image ever. i cannot nor will i ever stop thinking about this image. i love this image. i would marry this image if i could. i want to get this tattooed on me. (/j) this image by far was always my favorite in this group and was always going to be #1. in fact i made this entire list just so i could talk about how much i love this image. just look at him. look at his face. fucking amazing

aaand thatll do it for the dave image top 10 list please remember to like and subscribe and leave a comment down below and ill see you in the next video

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 12

post directory

obsetress: don’t ask why i had this thought because i couldn’t tell you but

obsetress: jamie wakes up in the middle of the night one night and is like “i... had a dream. about vi”

obsetress: and dani’s like “ok baby” and just nuzzles deeper into her pillow and jamie’s like

obsetress: “no, dani, a... a dream”

obsetress: and dani’s like “oh. oh” and is immediately wide awake and bright eyed

obsetress: and is like “was it any good?” and jamie is just. already flushed so red and flushed deeper and dani just hums

em: sighs wistfully

em: i also love that something compels jamie to tell dani Immediately

em: oh the perils of begrudgingly being friends w ur gfs ex

em: jamies like um. no see i can see all these different things my brain mashed together and WHY i had this dream and danis like ok but that wasn’t my question....

obsetress: jamie finally throws up her hands “of course it was”

em: jamie: And You Can’t Tell Vi She’ll Be Insufferable

obsetress: dani, very plainly, at brunch the next morning: so vi

obsetress: jamie looks like she’s going to have a heart attack and dani lets her sweat and then just smiles sweetly “i like those sunglasses. are they new?”

em: jamie what’s the problem (nothin. indigestion)

obsetress: dani very smug n thinks she’s very funny

obsetress: (she is a little funny)

em: one of jamies many ‘oh that’s why they dated’ moments

obsetress: “fookin sick, the both of ya”

em: idk why you had this thought but i’m GREATLY amused

obsetress: skskksksks right

obsetress: jamie explaining her dream to dani in great detail afterwards

obsetress: dani sitting there nodding and hmming “oh that sounds like her. no, she wouldn’t do that. now THAT she would be very good at, you’d like it”

em: i need a moment

em: jamie thinks the dark hides her massive fucken blush but it Doesn’t

em: dani can feel her heating up

obsetress: jamie “i don’t ask you to do this” dani “you’re not stopping me”

em: dani critiquing jamies sex dream is such a fucken funny concept sjdhdkhdkdhdkc

obsetress: RIGHT

obsetress: i’m dying

em: dani: oh no that’s OOC

obsetress: she wouldn’t have a riding crop jamie, it’s 2021, not 16—

em: jamie: it’s a wet dream do u really think it’s gonna have beta readers and a three act structure

em: dani hums

obsetress: dani: well did you enjoy it

obsetress: jamie: i— dani: did you?

obsetress: jamie mumbling yeah

em: jamies like i’m gonna interrogate dani next time, see how she feels- but she forgets dani is incapable of feeling shame

obsetress: like dani wouldn’t just launch into a ramble

---

em: viola

obsetress: fuck

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: to jamie, specifically,

em: to jamie specifically andhdjhdjd

em: once again ironic jamvi has turned, in my brain, into ‘yes and....’ jamvi

—-

obsetress:

obsetress: jamie sending this to viola n vi's like

obsetress: she doesn't get it because she's convinced her taste is immaculate

---

em: anyway this is ooc even for exes au but i keep thinking abt like. jamie tryna crack how old viola is (she cant be 34 im 30 it doesnt make sense) and going through her fb timeline like. 'aha! motivational quotes. gotta be late 30s' and danis either like

em: danis either like 'you have a notebook where you write down all the quotes you like baby' OR shes like haha ok thats fair (posts another motivational quote on her fb)

obsetress: god i love that so much

obsetress: both of those dani responses are

obsetress: honestly porque no los dos if we're already going ooc

obsetress: i do think the first bit "gotta crack it she can't be 34 i'm 30 it doesn't make sense" is in character fwiw

em: obviously i was inspired by ur post in the milf channel abt viola always saying shes 35

em: big brain

—-

obsetress: this is literally just. exes au rebecca

obsetress: down to the caption

obsetress: vi and rebecca patiently staging like full photoshoots for each other every time one of them wants a pic otp: i'm not high maintenance, you're just low effort

---

em: bold 2 say that we don’t think about jamie and vi tho

em: gotta keep some sorta. presentation of respectability

em: they absolutely couldn’t date tho

obsetress: lmao ikr

obsetress: yeah no they'd kill each other

obsetress: now just thinking of silly circumstances and um

obsetress: rebecca's out of town and dani's flying back from some iowa thing jamie couldn't get away for to go with

obsetress: and viola's like "oh, just stay at ours, it's closer and i'll get you a car"

obsetress: and just like

obsetress: imagining the two of them cohabitating at vi's for a night

em: jamie sneaking around at night tryna find the bathroom and runs straight into vi in a face mask and a dangerously low dressing gown Again

obsetress: the parallels to canon

obsetress: im giggling

obsetress: walks straight into her path

em: opens a door. sees something she doesn’t want to see. immediately turns and walks away

em: god the face mask would make her look like the lady in the lake

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: vi wants to go out to dinner, jamie's just like "i'm already getting up early to go to the airport, can't we just have an easy night in"

em: what did i say before. that thing abt if ur friends w damie you will inevitably walk in on them

obsetress: god yeah

em: flip of that.

obsetress: oh GOD

em: god they would argue about dinner

em: bicker about EVERYTHING

em: dani and rebecca both make the married couple joke

em: jamie goes pale

obsetress: wait sorry i just went back to tahirahs insta post and like

obsetress: katie parker commented and was like "i love these shots of you" and she was like "thanks luv " and i'm like

obsetress: why does this....... still track........... with exes au...............

em: perdy is always a little too flirty w vis paramours

obsetress: always! except dani for whatever reason

obsetress: she's just scared of dani

em: Please

obsetress: rebecca's like "i don't see what the problem is. she can do what she wants, but you trust me, don't you?" "of course i trust you" rebecca shrugs "that's it then, isn't it?"

obsetress: anyway vi huffs n crosses her arms n pouts a little bit and is like "well i don't want her to"

obsetress: rebecca is endeared and uses the opportunity to her advantage like the top leaning switch she is

em: dani rebecca parallels: always dtf

obsetress: perdi and vi fighting and vi's like "are you even gay? or do you just want what i have?" and perdi is like "does it matter?"

em: are you even gay perdi nahdkdhdkdhd

em: perdi is like you KNOW about jamie and viola crinkles her nose bc she forgot about that and she’s starting to respect jamie as a person

obsetress: djflakdkfjldkadjLDJFLSKDFJLSDKFJx

obsetress: i screeched

em: viola: you only MET jamie because i hired her for landscaping you fucking-

obsetress: just thinking about perdita watching jamie working on some property sweating in a tank top and Deciding

em: bringing out some lemonade etc

em: haha you look parched

obsetress: smiling widely, turning on the charm

obsetress: jamie is very attractive and very swoonworthy, but perdita 100% only goes for it because she refuses to let viola have one (1) thing

obsetress: and that extends to lesbianism

em: viola's like no this is normal right. siblings competing. rivalries etc and danis like uh i’m an only child and jamies like uh i raised my brother

em: they don’t know how to tell her sure it happens but it’s also extremely fucken weird vi

obsetress: jamie: you have to tell her dani: why do i have to tell her jamie: you tell her everything dani: i don't tell her–– ok, i tell her most things. i'm not sure i want to tell her this though jamie: why not dani: she's not... she's not gonna like it jamie: So You Might Be A People Pleaser,

em: jamie: i can’t tell her. she’s only just forgotten the perdi thing. what if she remembers i’ve

em: in depth character study of viola and perdi’s fucked up rivalry

em: violas like goddamn it do i have to fuck jamie to get even

obsetress: i––

em: she decides against it

em: jamie is none the wiser

obsetress: she Considers it tho

em: jamie would die on the spot if she knew

obsetress: weighs the pros and cons

obsetress: the best part is like

obsetress: this is all post-danvi and pre-damie right so when dani n jamie see rebecca and vi at that video store

obsetress: viola's like wait.

obsetress: wait

obsetress: dani ending up with the hot gardener her sister fucked because she has bizarre jealousy and possession issues is really just the cherry on top of a shit sundae

em: the funniest part of all our very tangled lore is like

em: none of it contradicts bc it’s even funnier when it’s Extremely Ugly And Messy

em: because lesbians are just... like that

---

obsetress: exes au au where viola did fuck jamie, the video rental shop scene is 100 times more awkward

em: don’t think about it don’t think about it dont

em: i am thinking about it

em: jamie has to deal with having been railed by all three of them instead of just the two

em: it feels very uneven to her bc rebeccas a doll, dani, u don’t understand, and ur only running into one ex,

obsetress: talk about the mortifying ordeal of being known

obsetress: "wait, that's your ex?" "yeah" "dani" "what" "dani" "what" jamie's voice is hushed but a lil pitchy and a lot panicky "i think i fucked your ex" "you think?" "i fucked your ex" "you fucked her or she fucked you? because i'm sorry, baby, but i really don't think––"

em: sorry, baby, but i really don’t think-

em: SCREAMED

obsetress: that might be my fave lil bit i've ever written adlfkjasdklf

em: dani being a little too interested in jamie getting railed is like. everything to me

obsetress: jamie's already big blushing

em: a little secret between hannah obsetress and em cowlesbian but i am So thinking abt it

em: patreon exclusive exes au au

[em edit: you can imagine how long this lasted]

obsetress: no one is happy about this situation except dani, who is delighted

em: after, jamie's like. what did u mean by u don’t think that...

em: puffs out her chest

em: i could have-

em: danis like yeah but i know u didn’t did u

obsetress: dani clayton ilu

em: danis like um

em: completely unprompted bc dani ‘finishes a conversation 5 hours later’ is really funny to me

em: danis like i did tho

em: jamies like can you DROP IT

em: she’s SMUG

em: she’s so pleased w herself

obsetress: in bed with the lights off jamie's pulling the sheets up and closing her eyes afterthought

obsetress: just a happy lil hum and an "i did, though"

obsetress: and jamie knows IMMEDIATELY what she's talking about

em: dani never lets jamie live it down

obsetress: never!

obsetress: they'll be washing dishes one day "hey baby?" "hmm" "you slept with a landlord"

em: oh um. flipping the whole ‘experienced jamie virginal dani’ trope everyone loves but

em: i love the idea of dani being like hey jamie did u ever- and jamies like (grumbles) does it matter

em: dani is mentally applying a gold star to her chart

obsetress: ksdljfskdfjlsdjflksdjaf

obsetress: the gold star

em: at this point dani is absolute just tryna tease jamie so she’s like oh well when- and jamies like ok i get it

em: jamie Pretends not to be a little interested

obsetress: meanwhile vi and rebecca very matter of factly swapped stories the first day they Realized

obsetress: vibecca swapping stories and their stories complimenting each other so well that they're like well. hmm

obsetress: glad those two found each other

em: two praise kinks u say

em: ok sorry one more thought i’m thinking abt like

em: jamie staying over (idk if this is before or during damie) and viola and perdi are having yet another spat on the phone and violas like

em: no you ALWAYS do this, whatever you think you’re doing with rebecca-‘ and she barely hears some muffled sorta ‘oh, sorry, remember jamie-

em: and jamies doing the maths. hmm

em: jamies like actually i refuse to examine this further. self care

em: brings it up with dani later and dani LOSES her shit laughing

em: haha jamie you got willoughby’ed

obsetress: SCREAMS

obsetress: you got willoughby'd

obsetress: how does one get willoughbyd asking for a friend

em: yeah same asking for a friend

obsetress: dani, gigglesnorting: wait, you hooked up with... with perdi?

obsetress: (dani hates perdita because viola hates perdita and it is a deep seated hatred she refuses to unlearn)

obsetress: a loyalty strange and enduring, despite it all

em: to be fair perdi is the Worst

em: all of these characters i love to make sympathetic and then perdi is where i draw the line akdhdkhd

em: it’s funnier if she’s awful

em: like a viola that never gets therapy

obsetress: lldjfkaskldfj god same

obsetress: it's too good

em: danis like wait hold on. lemme get a pen

em: makes a silly little chart

em: if the fandom tries to make jamie into a shane the l word character i will simply take that and make jamie mortified abt her uh. well! a pretty girl is nice to her and she forgets how to behave

em: jamie's like oh sure like u don’t have embarrassing flings- and danis like yeah but i don’t interact w them on a daily basis jamie

em: also i didn’t fuck perdi

obsetress: skskskflsdflks

obsetress: "you did fuck perdi though, right? because that just be embarrassing, jamie, if she had been the one who..."

em: skgsdjhdkdhdk

em: jamie grumbles something abt pillow princesses and dani like

em: CLAPS her hands in glee

obsetress: jlsdjflkJSDFKJSDFJ

obsetress: GOD

obsetress: she's immediately pulling out her phone to text vi

em: jamies like why would u message her sister that u freak n danis like oh no theyre very open with each other it’s uh. hmm. anyway