#i need grace to at least live up to his name ok

[deiaiko]

#9 - Rescue

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[dreamofbecoming]

yeah alright this got away from me. posting in pieces, part one is just stobin, no shippy stuff. steddie and rockie to follow. i'll drop it on ao3 once all 3 parts are done

now on ao3!

platonic stobin

rating: t

wc: 3.5k

---

Robin stopped being surprised by Steve Harrington showing up at her bedroom window months ago. Jesus, there's a sentence her 16 year old self wouldn't fucking believe for a second. The Hair, climbing up the trellis her dad built for the roses her mom planted and then forgot about three months later? Yeah right, as if. But it turns out alternate dimensions and sci-fi movie monsters and Russian conspiracies in Bumfuck, Nowhere, USA are all real, so how surprising really is The King himself, collapsing through her window with all the grace of a baby giraffe, out of breath like he- holy shit, did he fucking run here?

"Dingus, did you run here? What the hell?"

"Had to- hang on, Jesus. Holy shit." He bends over, hands on his knees, panting like he just ran a marathon. Which, she guesses, he almost did.

"You have a car, you lunatic, what could possibly be so important?"

"Didn't think about it. Had to get here."

"Is someone dead?!" Oh fuck, Is the Upside Down back? Oh shit, oh no, it can't be back, right? Superhero girl closed the gates! Right?! Oh god, oh no, oh fuck, it's back, the Russians are back, they realized they couldn't let her live after what she's seen, her parents will never even know what happened to her, and they'll kill Dingus too, and dorky little Henderson, and that menace Erica, oh god, they're gonna die, and Hopper's gone and superhero girl is far away and she doesn't have superpowers anymore anyway, which is frankly bogus because what the hell, Robin never even got to hang out with a real live magic person before, which, ok, that's a selfish thought, but that's ok, we can think selfish thoughts and then set them aside and not act on them, thoughts are not actions, thoughts happen all the time without our consent, they don't determine our character-

"Bobs, you're spiraling. Nothing bad happened, I just realized something and I freaked out and I had to talk to you right away. Forgot to call. Sorry, I should have called. Ran straight out of the house. I don't even think my shoes match, what the fuck?"

She's gonna kill him, she really is.

She loves him so much.

"Jesus, you're insane. Sit, you absolute dweeb. I'm getting you some water, when I get back you can tell me what the hell is going on."

He's sitting on her bed when she gets back upstairs, staring at something in his hands. Christ, his hands are shaking. What the fuck, Dingus?

He takes the water and downs it in one go- ugh, sports guys- then flops onto his back and covers his eyes with a miserable groan.

"I know we've got the whole twin telepathy thing going on, bubba, but I'm gonna need at least a little bit to work with here. Give me something. Is it your parents? The kids? Uh, what was her name? From Thursday? Janice?"

"Janine, and no. Ugh. Here." The arm not covering his eyes flops out towards her, holding- ah. A zine. He had promised to drive up to Indy last weekend to the secret bookshop she told him about and get her some new ones, even though she couldn't go with him because her cousin Randy got caught cheating on his fiancée and her parents made her come with the rest of the family to help him move. Fucking Randy. Maybe he should make better choices, so the rest of them wouldn't have to clean up his messes. Jerk.

Anyway.

"Marked the page." Which, yep, there's a purple paper clip stuck to a page near the middle, because Steve knows how much she hates people who dogear books, even books that aren't really books at all, so he's been training himself out of it, because he's sort of the best. Again, 16 year old Robin would have her committed for thinking that, but here we are.

The pamphlet isn't one of the periodicals she sent him for, so he must have picked it up on his own. It looks handmade, just some folded sheets that look like they came out of a typewriter, bound with the kind of twine you can buy at the hardware store. It's called Awakenings. The page he's marked looks like a personal essay, no title, no real signature, just a pair of initials at the end of the page and a half of writing. She starts reading, trying to figure out what the hell spooked Steve so bad.

"I've always been normal. I've always had crushes on men, just like the other girls. There was never a feeling of "I'm different," or "Oh, this is wrong." There was never anything to think very hard about. I'd giggle and blush when the boys looked over at us on the playground, same as everyone else. Later on when I was older I looked at my poster of Harrison Ford, shirtless and hairy and sweating, and I touched myself, and it felt good, just like it was supposed to. I didn't mind thinking of my future husband, and our future kids, and the pretty house with the pretty garden we'd have, just like my parents have, just like they wanted for me. I was normal. Everything was fine.

I thought everything about me was normal. So I didn't understand why the other girls at sleepover parties would giggle and stop and say "Ew, gross!" when we practiced kissing. It felt nice! I wanted to keep going! But it seemed like no one else did. I didn't understand why none of them talked about getting butterflies in their stomach when Laura, who was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, transferred in our senior year, why they seemed so angry at her. Those butterflies were what jealousy felt like, right? So why did the other girls seem to feel so different?

I made my first lesbian friend in college, on the very first day, right across the hall in my dorm. We sat next to each other at Orientation and I thought I'd never have another best friend that wonderful in my whole life, so I'd hold on to her with everything I had. She came out to me the night before Christmas break, hiding under the blankets in my dorm room with the twinkling lights glowing. She was so scared. I held her and told her I loved her no matter what, and she seemed so glad, to have someone to talk to.

When she talked about falling in love with girls, I was so confused. The way she described it sounded like what it felt like to have girlfriends, I was sure. I felt that all the time. I asked her if she was sure she was gay, and she looked so shocked and angry and hurt, and I didn't know how to fix it, so I tried to explain. That what she felt couldn't be liking girls, because I felt that too, and I was normal. I liked boys, so I couldn't be gay. I couldn't be.

I'm glad it was her I said all that to. If someone else had told me about being bisexual, I think I would have hated them. I would have cried, and screamed, and said horrible things. Because I wasn't gay, I was normal, and it was so scary to think that might be a lie. Thank God it was her, my best friend in the world, who I never want to lose. Thank God I listened.

Because I'm not normal. I'm queer. I like men, and I like women. I can love them both the same, but it doesn't matter anymore, because I love her. I love her, and she loves me, and I don't need to be normal anymore."

Robin's face feels wet, which probably means she's crying. She cries a lot, reading these sorts of stories, in the zines she has to keep hidden under her bed, or, these days, at Steve's house. It's never going to be her, she knows. Not here in Hawkins, but it still makes something ache deep inside her, like pressing on a bruise, but in a good way, seeing love happen to other people. People like her. Seeing that it can.

"So?"

Oh shit. Right, Dingus. They're about him right now. Something about this essay in particular freaked him out.

"Uh. It's. A nice essay? I'm glad things worked out for them?"

Stevie lets out a pathetic whine, sort of like back at Scoops when he earned a particularly bad tally on the You Suck board. "Robbiiiiiiieeeee!"

"I'm sorry! I think I'm missing something, what's wrong with this essay? I don't get it, bubba, I'm sorry. I need some context." She does feel bad. Usually she can pluck whatever's bothering him right out of his brain and into the light, where it almost never looks as bad, but she's at a loss right now.

He's got both hands over his face again, and his response is so muffled she can't make out a word.

"Try again in human sounds, please."

"Ugh! I thought everyone felt like that!"

Huh? "Felt like...what, exactly?"

"Like that!" He flails wildly at the pamphlet in her hands. He's sitting up now, hair all askew from tugging at it, and there's a vaguely worrying crazed look in his eye, like right before he tackled that guard. "Like kissing boys and girls both feel nice, and like seeing a handsome guy and feeling jealous of him makes my stomach flutter, and like having friends feels the same as having crushes! I thought that was just how everyone felt all the time!"

Oh.

Oh.

Oh no.

Poor Dingus! No wonder he panicked and ran here like a crazy person!

"Stevie, can I hug you? Please?" She's not much for physical touch most of the time, but Steve is, and also she's found in the last few months that she doesn't mind so much when it's him. She sort of understands why other people like hugs so much, if they always feel like hugging Steve feels for her. And she really thinks he needs to be hugged, right now.

He nods miserably. She drapes her arms around his shoulders and holds on as tight as she can, hauling him sideways until he's practically laying down on her. He clutches her back and buries his face in her shoulder. She can feel her neck getting wet with tears, a sensation that would normally make her want to claw off her own skin, but this isn't about her. Dingus needs her.

"It's ok, bubba. I'm so sorry. I know how scary this is. When I first figured out I had a crush on Linda Sanderson I cried so hard I threw up, you know? I get it. It's gonna be ok, I promise. We'll make it ok. We faced down evil Russians and giant meat monsters, what's a little sexuality crisis, huh? We got this! We're the goddamn Wonder Twins!"

He snorts at that, which she's pretty sure leaves snot on her neck, which. Ew. Still. Problems for Later Robin.

"We are not, Will and El are the Wonder Twins."

"Uh, nope, no chance, I barely even met them so therefore I am vetoing their application. Sorry kiddos, better luck next time! Find your own nickname, losers!"

Steve sits back, laughing, and she preens a little at being able to bring him back from the brink so easily. She loves him so much she feels like she's glowing with it, sometimes. It almost makes her wish she was straight, because what girl is she ever going to find who loves her this much? But only almost, because. Well. Girls, amiright? Phew.

"So what now, Stevie? You wanna say it out loud? That helps, sometimes. You wanna not say it out loud? You wanna go to a gay bar and find you a boy? You wanna never think about it again? It's totally your call."

"Say it out loud, huh?"

"Hm. It took me like a month, and then the first time I could only say it sitting in the back of my closet with the bedroom door locked and the closet door closed, and I could only whisper it. Just "I'm a lesbian," to myself, like the world's most ironic little goblin. And I had to throw up again after. But it did feel good, once I rinsed my mouth out, anyway. Cleansing, you know? And it gets easier every time." Steve's eyebrows are raised and he's chuckling again, so that's a win. She's not lying, but it is sort of funny, she supposes. In hindsight, anyway.

"Ok. Ok, I can do that. I think. Yeah, I can do that."

She's so proud of him. He's the bravest person she's ever met, she thinks. "You wanna get in the closet?"

"Isn't the whole point to come out of the closet, Robs?" He's smirking at her. Bastard. She whacks him in the shoulder on principle. He may be having a crisis, but he's still a jackass. Her favorite jackass in the whole world, but still.

"Har har, you're a regular Bob Hope. Alright then, bigshot, let's hear it."

A little of that fear creeps back onto his face, and she wishes she could wipe it off, but that's not how this works. They can't make the scary things less scary. He couldn't make the Russians less terrifying, but he could hold her hand and make her laugh and carry some of that fear with her. She can do that for him now, too.

She grabs his hand, and he clutches back tightly. He takes a deep breath.

"I'm...fuck. Ok. Ok, I can do this. I'm...bisexual." The air leaves him in a big whoosh, and he laughs a little. "Yeah, ok, fuck. I'm bisexual. Holy shit, Robbie, I'm bisexual!"

"Hell yeah you are!" She's grinning so hard her cheeks hurt. She's so fucking proud of him.

He's laughing again, a little hysterically, and he hugs her tight again, and she holds him back just as close and thinks oh, he's like me. I'm not alone. I have Steve, and he's like me, and he's mine forever and ever.

When they separate, she looks at him seriously.

"So do you, like, want this to be a thing? Because we can totally make it a thing, and like, get me a fake ID and go to a gay bar and do all kinds of wild shit if you want, but we don't have to, you know? If you need to just, like. Digest this, for a while. It's totally up to you, I just know it took me a while to feel ok with it, and I have no idea if it's different for you but I just want to be what you need, you know? You've been so good with me, and I've never had a queer friend before, so I don't know how, but I want to be just as good to you. You're my Dingus and I love you and I don't know how much of a gay guru I can be on account of, you know, I've never met any gay people besides me and the pretty lady at the bookstore but I couldn't even get real human words to come out of my mouth when I tried to talk to her so I don't think that counts, you know? But I still wanna help! Let me help!"

"Bobbie! Bobbie breathe, you're gonna pass out. I don't think I need a gay guru, I just need a gay best friend, and I have that, so I promise I'm good, ok? Promise. Also I love you too.”

She takes a deep breath, following his lead the way they worked out in the horrible days after Starcourt, when she couldn't sleep without him next to her, warm and alive and breathing, and even then she would wake up in the night with her breath coming short and her vision tunneling and Steve would hold her hand against his chest and breathe slowly, in and out, until she could follow him, and the world wasn't so terrible and scary and loud anymore.

She still thinks about that awful hour underground, thinking she was strapped to the corpse of a boy she never let become her friend, but Steve is always there now when she needs him, and he never complains when she grabs his wrist or puts her head on his chest to make absolutely sure that big, stupid heart is still beating.

When she's breathing normally again, he drops their joined hands down between them, toying idly with the chain linking her ring to her bracelet. "I think...I think I'm glad I said it, and I'm glad we talked about it, but can we maybe just...put it away, for a while? Like it's not...ugh. I guess this is kind of shitty to say, so like, hit me if you want, I guess, but I kind of don't think it matters right now?"

"No no, that makes perfect sense! Like, you still like girls, right?" He nods. "And you don't like. Have a crush on any boys right now. Or do you? Oh man if you do you have to tell me though, it's platonic soulmate law. It's in the bylaws, Steve, don't make me soulmate fine you!"

He laughs and shoves her face away. "Jesus, Rob, no! I don't have a crush on any guys, who would I even crush on in this town? We're not exactly swimming in eligible bachelors. I don't have a crush on anybody at all, I'd tell you, I swear. I know the rules!"

"Oh phew, good. You have to tell me when you do, though, I'm way excited to get you back for making fun of Tammy."

"It was the God's honest truth, Bobbie! She sings like a muppet!"

"Oh my god, shut up, Dingus! Ugh! As I was saying, you super duper have to tell me when you do, but for now, I think maybe you don't have to think about it really at all if you don't want. I mean, practically speaking, it's not really relevant to your everyday life, so we can totally revisit when that changes, but you don't have to like. Join a pride parade tomorrow, you know? You are you who are no matter what. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, especially not to me, not ever."

He leans his head on her shoulder, and she scritches her nails through his hair. It really has no right being as soft as it is, with the amount of hairspray he uses. It's frankly rude, is what it is.

"Thanks, Bobs. I think I'm just gonna put it away for now. It just...another thing to know about me, you know? Like, I'm bad at fighting people but good at fighting monsters, all my best friends are kids except you, I'm bi but it doesn't matter because there aren't any boys to date in Hawkins anyway. Plus my dad would kill me if he found out. Like actually kill me, not "oh geez I missed curfew, my dad's gonna kill me" type kill me, like I think he'd actually try and beat me to death. So there's really no reason to talk about it right now, you know?"

There's a pit of ice in her stomach, and she tightens her arm around him like she can keep him safe just by holding on tight enough. She hates how casually he said that, just like she hates how casually he always talks about how his parents treat him, like he honestly believes it's normal. "Jesus, Dingus. You know you can come here if you need, right? My parents love you, they already think we're getting married. They'd make you sleep in the guest room, but I could sneak you in here easy."

He snorts again. "We're totally gonna end up married for tax reasons anyway, we're never beating the rumors." That makes her snort, too. He's not wrong, though. She isn't going to be allowed to have a wife anytime soon, and if she has to choose someone to be her next of kin, it's always gonna be him. They're planning to move in together when she goes to school next year anyway. No one is ever gonna believe them that they aren't dating, but that's...fine. Honestly, there are worse things. Better to have Steve by her side than not, and if no one else understands them, well, they understand each other, don't they? That's more than enough.

"Yeah, I know I can come here if I need, Robs. It's fine mostly, I swear. They're not home until Christmas anyway."

He takes another deep breath, like he's settling himself. "I'm just glad we talked about it. I feel better now."

She cards her fingers through his hair again, basking in the feeling of her favorite person so close, and so content. "I'm glad, Dingus."

They're alive, and they're together, and they're queer, and neither of them is ever going to have to be alone again.

"Hang on, did you say you've kissed girls and boys?!"

part 2 part 3

[snakegorl212006]

Stalker tango (intro)

Screams full the room as blood spilled the floor well that's how it was before it was occupied by deathly silence. "I don't get why boss only sent us to kill those who broke these simplistic rules. Can't he just sent us just for the thrills" a voice spoke "you know better to questioned this ace. Unless you want to join them too" the others said as he checked down the building to see if the cops showed up "I'm just saying deuce, i think i want to have more fun crashing parties if riddle said to go loose instead of waiting to the end of cater's message to the party. The door swings open startling the two men only to relax as familiar faces showed up though the door "quite the mess" riddle said as his he walks to the two guys with trey and cater right behind "security footage has been deleted and there's no one here alive at least" cater said as he looked though the murder "gonna keep that" tray asked as he looks over his sholder. "Yep I'd say this is a good one" cater smiled then flashing blue and red lights were spotted thought the distance "i thought they're not coming here "riddle frowns "they're not. They're going somewhere else." Deuce replied "lets go unless you wanna wait for them" ace said. The group left confidently, another spree, no survivors, all rule breakers punished.

----------------------------time skip-----------------------------------------------------------

I awaken in the hospital. Googly eyed as memories hit me like a train. A knock was heard on the door. There opened police officer. He had blue hair and beautiful turquoise eyes. He smiled "good morning (l/N). Im officer spade i came to asked questions pertaining last nights events." Spade said "oh umm… Ok" i nod "did you see any of the killer's face or heard any names" he asked "to be honest. After that weird speech i knocked myself out trying to hide underneath the table. I don't remember much" i replied. He nods and writes it down "i see. I don't want to take too much of your time. You're in need to recover. Maybe I'll see you on different circumstances" spade stated before leaving.

-------------------------------ramshakle:MC’s home----------------------------------------

"Live new at the NRC. District of Heartslabyul experienced a mass murder at the hands of the queen of hearts and her cards. Her blade of 'justice' maybe swift but one came out with their head still attached. There name is not disclosed but they say they're making a full recovery. Seems the queen has graced this one." The news anchor spoke. i turned off the TV and sighed. Just my luck hmm..

Night raven city is a bustling place full of vice and virtue. Yet all of its occupants are under control of groups of psychopathic murderers. You have lived in ramshackle district for years working hard to find freedom and escape the NRC so you can reach the city of the royal swords hoping for a better life. Come to realize, you've become their favorite plaything.

[runnning-outof-time]

A Call For Help… | Tommy Shelby (written through letters)

Request: no - part of @raincoffeeandfandoms ‘s Peaky letter writing event

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC (written in form of letters)

Summary: Tommy tries to find a way to better an old flame’s current situation while also hoping to make her aware of the fact that things have changed since they last saw each other.

Warnings: mentions of abuse, starvation and isolation, mentions of an arranged marriage

Word Count: 1413

A/N: this is unlike anything I’ve ever written before…thank you Flor for creating this super unique event, and Aimee ( @dandelionprints ) for writing the first letter - it was so fun to respond to…I hope it’s ok that I took a bit of an angsty route, and I hope that it makes sense. Enjoy! :)

A/N 2: the woman mentioned at the end of the second letter is not Grace (or at least I did not imagine it to be as I was writing). She doesn’t have a name though, so it could be her if you want.

— letter writtten by @dandelionprints —

Dear Tommy,

I'm sorry if it comes as a surprise that I'm writing you this letter, I'll completely understand if you decide to read no further than this part, throw it into a fire and scatter the ashes as if ridding yourself of me for good.

I fear you were not told the truth about why I went away. I'm sure my father told you that I'd had a change of heart, that I could never truly love someone who called themselves a 'Peaky Blinder'. Oh how wrong that could be.

The truth is that it was not my choice to be parted from you, in fact I kicked and screamed with all my might to stay but it did no good. I was still manhandled into a car and driven off to Scotland to wed a man that I cannot stand, a man who knows nothing of loyalty or love. A man who is nothing like you.

My father told me that it had been agreed between himself and my now husband's father that I were to be married into their family, all to settle a debt that my father created by drinking and gambling his way through his wages. If I married this man then his father would rid mine of his debts and make sure that my parents would live a comfortable life.

Why they wanted me of all people, I don't know. I have no money to give them, only services that I'm forced to do against my will, otherwise a beating is in order. Sometimes I take the beating, I'd rather that than to do the things they want me to. All I do know is that I wish it could be different, wish that I could have stayed back in Birmingham with you...

Anyway, I'm sorry. You probably don't need to know about that and also probably don't care. It's been two years since you last heard from me so I completely understand if you want nothing to do with me. You might even have a new love now, I wouldn't blame you if you do.

They stopped me from sending letters to anyone but my parents, I have to be chaperoned everywhere I go.

I've lied and said I don't feel well today and the man whose job it is to make sure I don't do anything I shouldn't has left me in my room to sleep though I fear he will be back soon. I knew I had to use the time wisely and write to the person I've wanted to speak to since the moment I was dragged from my house by the arms all that time ago. You.

I'm planning an escape soon, I can't take much more of this life. The beatings, the withholding of food to the point that my clothes hang off my frame, the feeling that there is not a soul around that I can turn to for comfort.

I don't know where I will go but I won't be able to leave this God forsaken place for at least another month. If you write a letter in response to this then please find a way to get it here without having to go past other people in this house first, I'll never get the chance to read it if it does.

As I said before, I'll understand if you have a new love or if you just want nothing to do with me, time has passed now and feelings change. I'll leave it up to you to decide what to do.

Yours, always,

Aimee

— letter written by myself —

Aimee,

I'm sorry.

I haven't a clue of how long your letter has sat on my desk. A lengthy trip to America took me away from Birmingham for some time and I've just finally gotten back to my office now.

It's been too long, Aimee. Since I've seen you; since I've heard from you. And the reason behind it makes sense now, but it was a struggle to figure it out in the interim.

I hate to know what has happened to you; what the reason behind the silence was. I would have fought against it had I known what type of situation you'd be taken into. I wish this letter would have found me sooner. Maybe if it had, things could have been resolved before they got to their current point.

I looked for you around Small Heath, and when it turned up empty; I widened the search to the whole of Birmingham. The decision to write this letter came when those efforts returned unsuccessful. I write it with the hope that you have not since left this address, and that you will receive it when I send it out.

Help will come, Aimee. I cannot give all of the details here for fear of interception, but know that I will do all that I can in order to improve your situation.

The man that your father struck a deal with is easily influenced, as I am sure you might have already figured out. I have spoken to him and have managed to get him to switch some of his operations around. He has hired some of my men onto his payroll, and they will allow us to trade correspondence in the future; if you feel inclined to, that is. When the time comes, you will be able to leave, and if things go according to how I have planned them, that time will arrive sooner than later.

As for the man you were made to marry...the things he does are worse than anything I have ever carried out. How your parents cannot see that perplexes me and makes me wonder if there was more than the debt that needed to be paid back. I could have helped, Aimee. I could have made your father's situation disappear; I could have changed your entire family's life for the better. How can he be wary of me but yet sell his daughter to a man who so clearly resembles the devil in all of his doings? I never understood how he conducted things; how he could be so scornful at times, but I withstood that to continue to be with you.

I was told that you moved away. That you had dreams bigger than Small Heath and you were finally going to work towards achieving them. I should have recognized the dullness in your mother's eyes when she told me these things, but I was not one to over-analyze what was put forth as the truth then. I understood what it was, and is, like to hold dreams that others think are too big to become reality. I've worked hard to make the Shelby Company Limited into what it is today, and I guess a part of myself was content with thinking that you were off wherever it was that you went, also working hard to make your dreams a reality. Had I known what your actual reality was…

So much has changed over the years we’ve been apart from each other, but I cannot deny the fact that reading your words allowed me to escape back to a time when things were easier. When there wasn’t much else other than you and I. I often think of those times; of you in the summer, sitting under a blue sky with not a care in the world. You always felt much better outside, and thinking of those times makes me feel better…like the weight of the world is lifted off of my shoulders, even if only for a moment.

But like I said, things have changed since then. I’ve found someone whom I love. She has become my wife and has given me a son. They ground me in a way that you used to.

I couldn’t wait for you, Aimee. I had to allow myself to continue on with my life while thinking that you were bettering yours. I thought I’d never hear from you again. I needed to move on.

I want to help you though, and things will get better. They just may not get better in the way that you’d hoped upon writing your letter.

I hope to hear from you again,

Tommy

Tagged: @zablife @call-sign-shark @shelbydelrey @look-at-the-soul @cljordan-imperium @there-goes-thefighter

MASTERLIST

[padfoot0216]

Okay but hear me out (I say this as if I’m about to say something completely normal, but I’m not. None of this is normal) TK and Carlos would both use Tik Tok. They would make POV videos except they are just real things that have happened to them. No one can tell if they are joking.

TK and Carlos’s Tik Tok adventures

- Carlos would start it. Something like “POV Your boyfriend almost set your kitchen on fire (he used to be a firefighter)” And it would show TK in the back trying to put out a very on fire pan.

- TK would retaliate by creating his own Tik Tok. “POV Your boyfriend fell down the stairs, and now you have to provide first aid” Showing Carlos sitting with and ice pack in his head and TK holding a first aid kid.

- They just become more unhinged after that. Everyone in the 126 follows them and so does the 118.

- POV Your boyfriend is in a coma after getting shot by a 10 year old ( TK in a hospital bed)

- POV your boyfriend is apparently just “your colleague” seriously TK

- POV your boyfriend brought a flesh eating lizard into your house and now your scared for your life (He says he wasn’t flesh eating but they found him inside a wound. So excuse me if I don’t believe him)

- The 126 each have their favorite videos

- Owen enjoys watching what his son gets up to but is also kind of concerned for his well being after seeing some of the videos

- POV your a former drug addict and your boyfriend brings drugs into the apartment (a bottle of Tylenol sits on the counter”. This is one one of the videos that concerns Owen.

- POV your boyfriend is crying because the lights were to loud (he swears he’s neurotypical)” Owen is once again concerned about his son

- Marjan enjoys the chaos of the videos.

- POV your dad and your boyfriends dad teamed up to stop an arsonist. They did catch him but now you don’t have a house (so many hoodie are gone) *pile of rubble in the background*

- POV your boyfriend won’t stop crying about his hoodies so now your spending your life savings at 3am to buy new ones

- Mateo is mostly confused and the more he watches the more confused he is

- POV your the bpd (note: try and tell me TK doesn’t have borderline personality disorder) boyfriend and your having a breakdown in the kitchen

- POV All you want to do is sleep but your boyfriend keeps talking about a couch

- Judd is genuinely concerned about both of their well beings

- POV your boyfriend just got kidnapped by a homocidal maniac but refuses to get therapy *carlos is crying in the background

- POV your boyfriend just went into a three day coma and now refuses to go to sleep (yes tk sleep is needed for human survival)

- Paul is entertained by it all

- POV your boyfriend is out with Cooper, whats so great about Cooper, I’m a cop Cooper

- POV A fight breaks out between the police and firefighters softball teams and your boyfriend won’t let you fight and steps in to fight for you (he tells them he’s a cop, it doesn’t work because they are also cops and have desks right next to them. He was invited to one of there childrens graduations. He apologizes to Brian his name was Grant)

- Nancy kind of wishes she never started following them

- POV you wake your boyfriend up at 2 am to tell him you want to write your will (he asks if the lizard is back, not sure why that’s the first thing that came to mind but ok)

- POV you were held captive by a lady who apparently loves the gays (she may want me dead but at least she’s not homophobic)

- Tommy just wants an explanation to it all

- POV Your boyfriend just became a paramedic and was kidnapped by a group of criminals (his dumbass tried to play hero and got knocked out)

- POV your boyfriend blames himself for the death of a criminal (it wasn’t his fault) and is now spending all of his time trying to solve the case (Grace is enabling him.) (I have the first aid kid on stand by)

- The 118 had there own questions and concerns, but the main one being how they know so much about their lives they just met them.

- POV Your boyfriend won’t stop talking about buddie and the couch theory. (Send help)

- POV Your boyfriend is crying because you wouldn’t stop talking about how we aren’t the main show (it’s because we’re in Texas)

Welp that’s it. I’m normal. I swear

[that-ari-blogger]

How Phantom Pains Establishes Stakes

Phantom Pains is a beautiful song, and one of my favourites in the Stray Gods musical, and I'd like to delve into why. I've said before that what words are doing is more important than what's being said, because people can lie, but the plot and themes remain unchanged.

So what does Phantom Pains do? What do I mean by stakes here? Surely Grace's life is on the line, what more could you want?

Phantom Pains establishes what happens if Grace fails to bring the Gods into a healthier state of mind. It establishes why Grace's story has wider consequences on the rest of the world. Allow me to explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD

The most obvious thing about this song is the visuals. The silhouettes of times gone by.

Étienne de Silhouette was a French politician in the 1950s who was notorious for his economic policies to the point where his name became synonymous with doing things cheaply. As such, when people would get a cheaper portrait of themselves, they would get it in the style of Silhouette.

Essentially, a silhouette isn't a real thing. It's a shadow, an echo of what was once, and might still be there, but it is a cheap copy, a fake. Apollo is lost in his memories, burdened by guilt and a whole lot of depression, but that's the problem. These memories are all consuming, but they aren't the real world. At least, they aren't the present he is actually living in.

"I have paths I like.

Smooth, paved in stone.

She got tired of our divide.

We weren't the same. Never the same."

I mentioned that this song sets up stakes, and this is the point where that happens. Calliope represents change, and Apollo couldn't do the same. The stakes are the paths these gods are walking. They are walking to their own destruction, because they know the way, and can't bring themselves to turn off it.

The style shifts here, and there's a point to that. It's becoming more real. Apollo is being confronted with what his path led to. It's loud, and its in his face. But it's still not tangible. He is still lost in the past, only now that past is telling him to leave it be.

The reality is then shifted again, into the actual light house.

And Apollo finally snaps back to the present, to reality, Grace has persuaded him to change, just slightly. Not into a different person, but to take a different action.

"Perhaps there is some change we can effect."

This song is showing the power of Grace's singing and musical power, specifically to heal this wound. If she doesn't the wound will remain open, but if she tries, she can at least make it less painful.

Ok, so I need to address the name of this song, because it's relevant. A phantom pain is often experienced by an amputee, and it is described as a sensation of the missing limb getting injured, and the mind feeling its absence.

This is setting up an anatomical metaphor that Stray Gods keeps using. It's not the main even, but it keeps coming up. For example, Athena is the head that plans and directs, and Calliope is the arm that reaches out to grab for safety. So when it's cut off, the body continues feeling the pain.

I am not an amputee, I cannot speak from experience here, this is just what I have observed from my experiences in the real world, so bear with me.

But here's the thing. Amputees are not often the type of people who will sit back and stop doing anything because of their injury. There are some who do that, humanity is a diverse bunch, but a lot of the time, the person will just get a new leg and keep moving. They often don't use it as an excuse, but an obstacle to push past. And the new leg often doesn't look like a real foot, it fits the same purpose, but its obviously mechanical, and it still fits. They have found a replacement from elsewhere and made their lives work around it. They still feel the pain, sometimes, but it doesn't stop them from living their lives.

Grace here is filling the role of the new limb, she is an outsider, a misfit, but if the idols accept her, they can move forwards, and reach for newer things.

The secondary stakes of this musical are convincing them to do just that. To change, to accept, and to embrace.

Previous - Next

[vampirecatboy]

Hello yes tell us about cthonic gods please

ok ok so

clarification for those that need it: Cthonic deities in Greek Mythology are gods and goddesses and entities that reside in the Underworld

first off i want to say that Hades game was such a godsend for me, because to have such a popular, well-made piece of media that is all about my special interest is like the best gift an autistic person can get

i'll start with my two favorite boys: Hypnos and Thanatos

they are twins, first of all, two sons of Nyx, personification of night, and Erebus, who is darkness (i don't know if Hades game ever touched on this but Hypnos' mom was literally within shouting distance)

Thanatos hates mortals because they hate him (he is not the god of death he just is death, and not many mortals like death) and he hates the Olympians because they can't die, juries out on if he hates his own twin but there is this really cute painting that shows them asleep together, so i would guess ol Thanny is fond of his brother

now also the thing about Thanatos is that he is the personification of peaceful death, it's the furies who deal with violent death, like he's giving people a peaceful passing and they still hate him. death is death i suppose

also i know Thanatos is a love interest in Hades game, but in actual mythology he had no consorts and no children, truly aroace misanthropic king

now onto Hypnos, the personification of sleep, who did fuck, and had at least three children but i'll get to them in a sec

he lives in a grotto on the river Lethe, the river of forgetfulness, one of the five rivers of the Underworld (the others are the Styx, of course, Cocytus, Phlegethon, and Acheron), he has his own court of minor gods and goddesses, including one of my personal favorites, Aergia, goddess of sloth and laziness, truly a "yes girl give us nothing!" moment honestly

there's also this story that i love, related to a mortal man who was also the lover of Selene, the moon. his name was Endymion, and in the more well known story, he was so beautiful when he slept, that Selene wanted to keep him in a state of eternal sleep, and they had 50 children, somehow, but the version of the story that i like (for reasons that will be very obvious lol) is that it was actually Hypnos who fell in love with him for the same reason as Selene, so he put Endymion into a state of eternal sleep, specifically with his eyes open, because he loved gazing into them (gay ass) no clue if their relationship was ever consummated like with Selene but one can imagine, this is Greek mythology after all

now Endymion wasn't the only lover Hypnos ever had, he also fell in love with one of Hera's graces (attendants?) whose name was Pasithea, and showing some remarkable restraint for a divine man in Greek myth, instead of abducting her or taking her by force, he asked Hera if he could marry her, and she agreed on the condition that he help turn the tide of the Trojan war (which is not my special interest so do not ask me about it, i know nothing lol)

with Pasithea, Hypnos had three sons, the most famous of which was Morpheus, god of dreams, his other two sons were Phobetor and Phantasos, but they all represent different aspects of dreaming, objects, beasts and people. Morpheus was specifically people in dreams, but he was the clear favorite and sort of took up the whole mantle from the other two Oneiroi

actually, addendum because i looked it up to check and the Oneiroi are the sons of Somnus, Hypnos' Roman equivalent, in Greek mythology they are his brothers. the rest of that is accurate though

so to summarize: Thanatos, aroace king, Hypnos, respectful if a bit weird bisexual, Aergia, just hangin' honestly

the twins have been depicted many ways, sometimes old men, sometimes babies, but i think most often they ended up being depicted as epheboi, teenagers

also it is very important that you know that Hypnos has head wings in a lot of his depictions, i forget if they depicted that in Hades but honestly who cares his design slaps either way

onto the most interesting thing for me about Hades game: Zagreus. he's obscure in Greek mythology, like all of Hades' alleged children, Macaria and Melinoe being the two i can remember. some scholars believe Zagreus to actually be Dionysus, because Dionysus also has ties to the underworld, i think in relation to his mother, like he had to rescue her from there or something? kind of a reverse of what Zagreus is trying to do in the game

i.... i think that's all the info i have to dump

i will not advocate for the accuracy of everything in this ramble (especially not the Zagreus/Dionysus bit, the stance among scholars might've changed since i acquired this information lol) but i certainly had fun thank you so much for asking me about this

[adventuresinobx]

The Advocate - Chapter 2

AU Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Settling into life back in the OBX, Rafe makes a conscious decision to “move on” from Y/N, absolutely sure they don’t want the same things. Another chance meeting and a big admission sees him learn more about her - but exactly how does that affect his plan to forget just how she makes him feel?

A/N: Sorry it took a bit longer to get this up, but here’s chapter two of lawyer!Rafe! I hope you like it as much as me and @starkeyobx do. I know it’s a slow burn, but they’re getting there, promise! 💕  Previous chapter here: Part 1!

Warnings: Very light hints of controlling (not Rafe being controlled / doing the controlling), Rafe struggling a little emotionally.

Rafe’s mind was still reeling from the party two days ago. It was just his luck, he thought, for him to fall for someone - only for them to be happily married with kids - and nothing would come of it. He was disappointed to say the least, but his life had been a shit show for a while now ever since Grace filed for divorce, so he wasn’t surprised really. It was what he had come to expect from life - disappointment after disappointment.

What did surprise him was how hard he found it to get her off his mind. Sure, she was beautiful, but there was something about the energy she gave him that was impossible to forget, irreplaceable.

“C’mon Rafe, you’re just hurting your own heart,” he’d tell himself, standing in front of the mirror in his old bedroom. He would eventually move out of the family home, but he needed to find a nice place - and one he could afford alongside the upkeep on his and his ex’s home in New York too. Keeping one house was hard enough, let alone a second one, but Ward and Rose had been nothing but supportive of him living with them.

In a way, his dad also seemed pleased to have him back, suggesting days out in the boat, family trips with the neighbours - but unfortunately for Rafe, not her. Was it even unfortunate really? Or was the idea of Rafe Cameron, newly divorced, falling in love with a happily married mom exactly how it was meant to go? His life had thrown him some curveballs as of late, this was just another to add onto that long long list.

In the kitchen, Rafe cut a casual figure in his grey sweatpants and a loose fitting white T-shirt as he set out making himself some lunch. He had booked a few days off work - which they were happy to give him. “Anything you need Mr Cameron, take your time, hope you’re holding up ok.”

God he was sick of being told that.

To be honest, it was probably a good idea for him to be off work. He could do with the break and he probably wasn’t in the best frame of mind to help people with their marriage woes when his own were in the forefront of his mind. He was one of the best divorce lawyers out there, but even he would admit he wasn’t firing on all cylinders at the moment. And no client deserved that.

“Oh honey we’re gonna be late, c’mon,” he heard Rose shout up the stairs to his father, just as the doorbell went. Rafe continued to make his sandwich, buttering the bread quietly until he heard a familiar name.

“Come in, come in,” he heard Rose say, her usual cheery tone evident, as he listened for footsteps making their way to him in the kitchen where he was stood leaning over the counter. “Yeah he’s just through here,” he heard her say and knew they were heading in his direction.

“Rafe honey, Y/N’s here,” Rose called out, his eyes flicking up to see her walk into the kitchen wearing a casual sundress and that smile on her face. If only he could burn that look she was giving him into his mind, he’d get lost in her smile forever.

His mind went on overdrive, questioning whether she had asked for him, and that was why they were all now stood in the kitchen, her looking at him expectantly.

“Hey,” he said, raising his hand awkwardly before internally cursing himself for being “weird”. His eyes scanned her head to toe, picking out little things about her he’d missed the first time. The little tan line from her dainty bracelet she wore on her left wrist or the way her anklet was just a little too big for her. He noticed how the little mole on her neck stood out against her skin colour and the way her lips curled up at the corners when she opened her mouth to speak to him.

Speaking to him, she was speaking.

“Hello, earth to Rafe,” Rose said, laughing as she walked towards him and waved in his face.

“Sorry hi, hey, how are you?” he managed out quickly, his gaze meeting hers. He noticed a different kind of emotion - maybe a sadness - in her eyes today, but she still looked beautiful, captivating, none the less.

“Good Rafe, how are you doing?” she asked. He was tired of that question from everyone else but he’d answer it again and again for her.

He nodded in response, about to speak, before his words were interrupted by his father walking into the kitchen. Ward immediately went in for a hug with Y/N, her setting the two jars she was holding onto the counter as she embraced him. Gosh, Rafe wished he could touch her, wrap his arms around her like that and hold her close. He wanted to feel her, to be close to her. Needed it.

“Lovely to see you Y/N,” Ward said, smiling at her as they both pulled away simultaneously. She picked up one of the jars and handed it over to him, a warm smile on her face as she explained she was experimenting with some homemade jam and had a few jars left over of it she wanted to share with the neighbours.

“Alex says it’s awful, but I think it’s pretty good,” she said, proud of her own efforts, but on hearing his name, Rafe’s heart stung. Alex, her husband, didn’t deserve her. She didn’t deserve him saying it was awful. Rafe was sure it would be amazing, even if he hadn’t tasted it yet. He knew nothing she could do would ever be bad.

That physical pain of heartache burned through his body as he listened to Alex’s criticism of her. It was only about jam but it still hurt him to hear that slight tinge of disappointment in her voice. The heartache was stinging him, but feeling her pain made him hurt even worse.

“You’re too good for him love,” Rose chimed in to say and for once, Rafe totally agreed. She was far too good for someone like that, absolutely far too good. She seemingly ignored the comment, keeping quiet for a moment before going on to say.

“Made you one too Rafe,” she said. Her addressing him properly for the first time in the conversation made his heart sing. He loved that she had thought of him too. “Now you’re living here, you’re gonna be subjected to all my new weird and wonderful culinary creations,” she teased, making him chuckle lightly.

Hey, he could definitely get used to that.

He kept her gaze for a moment too long, his eyes scanning her facial features, his focus on her plump lips. She stayed silent too, her gaze on him, like her eyes were burning a hole in his soul and long may it continue.

“Ohhh we’re late.” Rose’s voice broke him from his thoughts. “We have to go sorry honey,” she said, turning her attention to Y/N, “But stay with Rafe, he’ll try your jam. Give you a honest opinion, won’t you, Rafey?”

Rafe scoffed in response, unsure when he went from being in his mid 30s to being a teenager.

“Sure I’ll try it,” he said, her hand reaching out to pass him his jam jar, their fingers grazing for a brief moment. The sparks coursing through his body and all the sensations he was feeling would have been enough to make him giddy had he been alone with her, but he kept his composure in front of his family.

“Have fun Mr and Mrs Cameron,” she said, as they rushed out of the house saying their goodbyes.

“Bye honey, bye - bye.” And then they were gone, and it was just the two of them.

Now alone in the kitchen, she immediately spoke up. “You don’t need to try it now,” she reassured him, “Just let me know if you like it. Maybe you can text me and tell me if it’s any good. I haven’t really made it before-“ She kept speaking but his own voice stopped her.

“No I’ll try it.” He gave her a warm smile, his hand locking around the lid of the jar as he popped it open with ease. She didn’t mean to notice the vein on his hand as he squeezed the jam jar lid and the unmistakeable pop of the air seal being broken filling the room. He was definitely going to try some of it now if it meant she could stay for a few more minutes.

The sandwich he was making was long gone from his mind; now it was all about toast and jam.

Then the idea came to him.

“Want to stay and try some with me?” he asked, his eyes gesturing to the fresh bread on the counter he’d picked up from the bakery, “If you’re not rushing off.”

“No, the kids are with their nanny, so why not? It’s nice to have some company that’s not under the age of 10.”

Rafe quietly laughed at her comment, a small smile playing on his lips as he moved the board closer to himself to cut her a slice of bread or two.

“Oh is Alex not in today then?” he mused.

“Working out of state today and tonight,” she replied, adding a heavy sigh, “Again. Whilst I stay here with the kids. The nanny is great but she clocks off at 3.”

“Kids?” he questioned, “How many do you have?” His questions might have sounded abrupt but he delivered it in such a manner that made her at ease instantly.

She took a seat on the nearby bar stool, her arms stretched out over the counter as she got comfortable.

“Two,” she replied, “Ollie who you met, and we also have a daughter, her name is Isabella.” Rafe nodded, his eyes flicking up to meet hers as she picked her phone up from the counter and showed him her wallpaper. It was a picture of her and the two kids, Ollie sat on her lap and her daughter clutching onto her mum’s arm with a huge beaming smile on her face.

“Ohh she’s a gorgeous little girl,” Rafe noted, leaning closer to look at the picture and inadvertently get a whiff of the perfume she was wearing. He noticed Alex wasn’t in the picture, but didn’t want to point it out. Maybe she just liked that one of her and the kids. “Takes after you,” he added, before quickly taking his focus back to the jam and bread, worried he’d overstepped the mark.

As a lawyer, he was good at keeping his emotional comments and feelings in check. Around her, he was not so good at it, he thought, as he silently cursed himself.

“Thank you Rafe,” she said, him focusing on the way she said his name and how sweet it was. He noticed how she elongated a specific letter no one else did, and now he was suddenly wishing everyone would say his name that way too. When did he get this bad, this hooked?

“Do you ever wish he’d spend more time with you and the kids? Be in North Carolina more sort of thing,” he mused before immediately regretting his decision.

He shouldn’t have asked, but it was habit after so long. Relationships and marriage was his forte. Questioning people about what they had, what they wanted and what they were going to do was all part and parcel of his job as a divorce lawyer. It became second nature.

She seemed taken aback by his question, unsure what to say as an awkward silence filled the room. Thankfully, for Rafe, the toaster popped up and he could change the conversation direction instantly.

“It’s ready,” he said, grabbing two plates from a nearby cupboard and setting them next to each other. He took the toast out, using wooden tongs to do so, and placed it on the board in front of him, spreading the jam across it before transferring a slice to each of the plates and sliding it over the counter to her.

He wondered whether this is how he and Grace would have spent the rest of their days if only they hadn’t split. Making food together, enjoying each other’s company. That was one thing about Y/N, he never felt forced about being with her. Or maybe this is how he and Y/N would be in the future if she was ever single again.

Get that out of your mind Rafe, she’s taken.

You missed your chance.

His own internal words stung him. He really did miss his chance with her. She was happy, in another relationship - a marriage none the less - and with two beautiful children. He had wanted that with Grace, but it wasn’t to be. Sometimes things just don’t work out.

“So what’s the verdict Rafe?” she asked. No response. “Is it that bad? You can tell me. I can take it.”

“Oh no no it’s great,” he replied, quickly taking another bite and smiling at her, “Really um… fruity.”

“Well yeah that was the point,” she teased. She noticed a little piece of the jam starting to fall from the toast. “Watch your white shirt,” she warned him.

Immediately, he realised what she meant and tilted the bread so the jam was no longer threatening to fall. He suddenly felt the need to apologise for his clothes, how casual they were - whilst she looked so ethereal in her beautiful sundress with her toned legs on display.

“Sorry I uh didn’t know you were coming around, or I would have you know, not been in sweatpants,” he mumbled, his voice staying quiet as he took another bite from his toast, taking his gaze away from her.

She was smiling.

“Hey I think you look pretty good like that,” she giggled, “I think I’ve only ever seen you in a suit.” Suddenly she realised what she said. “Not that I’ve been looking.”

“No of course not,” he said, his eyebrows raised, as she bit her lip and smiled sweetly. “Neither have I, but that sundress you wore the other day, the green patterned one - was really cute on you.”

Rafe couldn’t quite believe it, that he’d had the confidence to say something like that. Was he flirting? He was so out of practice. And was she flirting back?

She quickly confirmed both his - and her - suspicions.

“Don’t think I’ve done this whole flirting thing in years, or been flirted with either,” she muttered, eating the last piece of her toast and wiping her mouth with the napkin he’d given her with her plate.

“Oh I’m sorry,” he quickly said, “I didn’t mean to come off as disrespectful, I know you’re married.” He stumbled over his words. He could wax lyrical in court, lawyers always had the gift of the gab. And he did, most of the time - just not when Y/N was around.

“My marriage isn’t perfect Rafe.” Her words came out of the blue for him, his gaze locked on her as she spoke, quietly but assuredly. She knew what she was saying, but she also wasn’t saying too much. The pair of them looked at each other, their gaze never breaking as he admired the flickers of colour in her eyes and the little mole on her cheek and the way her lipgloss accentuated her beautiful lips. Her face was make up free, and she looked fresh, her hair clipped off her face with a little hair pin, her perfect skin radiating with a natural glow.

“Ohh I know all about those kind of marriages,” he said before quickly adding, “With my job - and all that. Oh and my own marriage going to shit.” He paused and then spoke again. “Not that yours is going to shit.”

She laughed, watching him stumble over his words was funny. She wondered if he was like this with everyone else, stuttering over every other sentence.

“No marriage is perfect, Rafe,” she repeated. He caught her gaze again, but their look was broken by the sound of her phone going off.

“Oh sorry, it’s the nanny,” she said, pulling her phone out her pocket and checking the caller ID. She answered it, holding the phone up to her ear as she flashed a smile at Rafe, leaning back into the chair she was sat on. He couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but he could hear hers. Did he mention he loved her voice?

“Mhm, that’s ok, it’s ok, I’m only next door, I’ll be round back in two, don’t worry, it’s ok,” she said, before saying a goodbye and ending the call.

“I’m sorry, duty calls, the kids won’t settle without me,” she said, her face almost seeming a little disappointed she had to leave so soon, but maybe he was just seeing things that weren’t there.

“No worries,” he mumbled, “But this was nice. Maybe we can do it again soon. I mean, chat. Not the toast.” He paused before adding: “The jam was lovely though.”

“I’d love that Rafe,” she said, as he walked her to the door, holding it open for her as she bid a goodbye. He wondered if he should go in for a hug, but felt it was too much. He smiled at her as he watched her walk down the long drive and to the gates, which he pressed a button and opened for her. She turned around when she reached there and waved at him, mouthing a thank you.

Rafe stood there for a moment, leaning on the door frame as he watched her head back next door.

He didn’t want to say it, but he smiled to himself, thinking about the (brief) afternoon he had with her. Whatever capacity he had her in his life, he was grateful to have made a friend in her, someone he felt at ease with.

Whatever would come next would be up to fate.

A/N: Let me know what you think of this chapter, and if you’d like a part three!

taglist (pls let me know if you want to be added 🥰)

@starkeyobx @lovelyhedgehog44 @gryffindorpouge11 @jjmaybankmakesmecry @pankowforlife @bayy2452 @proactivetypeofgirl @hoebx @fangirlfree @severa-kane @lovedetlost @slutforsmutsstuff @drewbooooo @raiinyhood @samxslaughter @valeriiecameron @burgstead @mayceelou @my-baexht-ls @i-always-come-back-xoxo @0fucsgivenon @heesbestlover @storytellingwitht @ishipit1420 @fiction-is-life @im-julessssss @meadzy2 @babeyglo @infatuatedjanes @ailee-celeste @malums-trash-can @itsalexwin @kkmstblog​ @mackenzielovee​

[amplifyme]

So I had to drag my ass off the couch and to my desk to share this. I know most of y'all won't give a damn. I don't care. This excerpt of a piece of Beauty and The Beast fanfic was written by my mentor, Nan Dibble. Look her up sometime. Her book "Plot" (under the pen name Ansen Dibell) is still a standard in writing classes all over the world. She also wrote two pro BATB novels, as well as several others in the sci-fi genre. She dabbled in the Buffyverse, too.

Nan could write Vincent like no other BATB writer in the fandom. Hers is the one I compare all others to, most especially my own. And she took a character we all-season fans had caught only wonderful glimpses of in S3 and expertly filled in all the missing pieces of Diana Bennett, Vincent's second love, an NYPD detective. This is from the story Inside Out from her Acquainted With the Night series. (Drop me a message if you want a link to it).

All you need to know is that Vincent is a fully functioning empath, the half-lion warrior-scholar heir apparent of a community living in the tunnels below New York City. As he and Diana grow closer, he unconsciously awakens that same latent gift in her (with a kiss, naturally) and it almost kills her. After a three month separation enforced by Vincent, he's taken her down to the deepest levels of the tunnels to keep her out of danger and teach her how to build the barriers she'll need to keep her empathetic abilities from overwhelming her in the world Above. Diana starts us out here:

"What I'm getting at is, we're different. You and me. And things are gonna get real mixed up if you're doing what you think I want when I really don't care, and I'm doing what I think you want when you'd really like something else but you're too polite to say so. What I mean is, we gotta say what we mean here. Be who we are. Agree that different is OK, no apologies, no empty politeness.”

            He met her eyes then, his own grave and very still. After a long minute, he returned his attention to his mug. “You ask something... very difficult.”

            “So it'll be difficult, then. I'll try. Will you?”

            Medium silence. Then, with a judicious finality, he set his mug back on the tray. “Yes.”

            A small word, but one with implications she suspected they'd never be fully done exploring. A word that committed them both, but especially him, to an honesty she'd enforced against all comers and he'd spent his life publicly ducking for the sake of peace. For the sake of acceptance. And stuffing the hard truths away for the Other to gnaw at.

            Softly, he added, “One of the things I love about you is that you force me beyond myself.”

            The comment startled her worse than the one about time. She felt the blush rising in her cheeks. She wasn't used to blunt compliments, matter-of-fact avowals of love. They caught her flat-footed, not knowing what to say.

            Smiling slightly, eyes downcast, he said, “And your honesty. Forthrightness. And that you are lovely in your bones, so that there is a grace in your least movement, arising as it does out of such stillness. And that even in fear and uncertainty, you are endlessly brave, endlessly kind... May I say such things to you sometimes, Diana? Even though you would rather I did not? For they are true. And I like to say them.”

            Her burning face felt about the same shade as her hair. But fair was fair. Couldn't open that door and then gripe about what came through. “Then I'll try to get used to it. `Lovely bones': my God!”

            “An image from a poem,” he admitted. “By Theodore Roethke. `She moved in circles, and those circles moved...' I have thought of it often. And was sad to know I might never say it to you. You do not like love spoken, as I do. Keeping the silence is sometimes difficult. And a sadness to me.”

            Now it was she who had to take a couple of minutes to collect herself. Then she said, “After that, `You smell real nice' comes out sounding pretty dumb.”

            He glanced up, surprised. “You like that? About me?”

            “Crazy about it. Especially when you'd come through the skylight, been rained on a little. Wonderful, the smell of it in your hair. Or after the bathing pool. It was things like that I missed. So much, sometimes, I didn't think I could stand it. And your voice. Your being there. Everything. Dammit.” She knuckled her eyes.

            The prickly moonlight feeling had started up again, firefly sparks glimmering delicately between them.

            He said, “I have found that one does not love in general, but in the particulars. Moments. As now. I am accustomed... to having only words. But there are other eloquences.”

I mean, c'mon! This is so romantic it makes me want to curl up in a ball and weep. I'm such a sap. 🥹

[krankittoeleven]

a little bit ago @vault-heck tagged me for WIP Wednesday. Yes, I know it's Monday. Look, WIP Wednesday is, like a state of mind, ok? xD

I'd love to share something from Water of Life but I am currently in a war with CH 13 and I don't want to share anything I haven't already shared. So instead I will share this chunk from the unplanned sequel to my Trigun 1998 Vashwood fix-it fic But Like a Refugee. I'd love to link it BUT A03 is down again so I can't lol

Anyway, here is the (still rough state) opening for the sequel, which takes place 10 years after the previous fic (yes this could, in a roundabout way, spoil something for Trigun 1998):

Wolfwood’s eye’s flutter open, refusing to focus right away, at least not until the memory of drifting, floating feathers clear completely from his head. Something had woken him from his dream, but he’s not sure what. Maybe it had been nothing but the usual things that go bump in the night, the things that posed no threat, but still woke him sometimes. Like Vash breathing too loudly, or moving to quickly. Even after so many years, it still happened—

A soft knock on the door in the dead silence of the night sets Wolfwood’s heart fluttering, he had not been expecting it, and it did have an eerie quality to it; a barely heard noise, but it wouldn’t surprise him if that was what woke him. In sleep he was even more vigilant than in waking. Behind him, Vash mutters something mostly unintelligible. He too was a vigilant sleeper.

“I’ll take care of it, go back to sleep,” he says to Vash, and then to the door: “Who is it?”

“Woof woof, I need water,” a tiny voice says through the door. It does sound a little hoarse and dry.

Wolfwood smiles, “Just a second honey, let me get dressed.”

Immediately he had known who the voice belonged to: Danny who was always quick to point out her name was spelled with a Y and not an I. Danny, who was sometimes fussy and sometimes not. Danny who called him Woof Woof because she misheard his name on introduction. Almost all of the kids had a different nickname for him, he thought it was sweet, but he also thought it was some sort of cosmic retribution for the years of nicknames that he had pummeled Vash with. For every Needle Noggin, Spikie, Tongari, Blondie, Pinhead, Pincushion et cetera there was now a Woof Woof, Woofy, Nico, Nicky, Wolf, Woody, Smoky and others. In a small bid to win back a portion of his sanity, he had recently started calling Vash Angel and rarely anything else, while Vash always called him Nick. Through some sort of unspoken agreement the kids seemed to understand that those names were between them and them alone.

Rolling out of bed, Wolfwood finds his discarded clothes from earlier and slips back into them. He’s waking up more now, but he’s still not very graceful on his feet. On the bed, Vash rolls over to face him.

“Did we forget to fill the jugs?” Vash asks, mumbling in a way only Wolfwood could decipher after years of interpreting Vash’s sleep talk.

“Maybe, but I don’t think so,” Wolfwood replies. “You know how she is. She’s funny about the water sometimes.”

“I am not!” Danny says through the door, just loud enough to be heard.

They both laugh as Wolfwood stuffs his smokes and lighter into his pants pocket, then steps over to Vash’s side of the bed and leans down to kiss him on the temple, then his cheek and finally the corner of his mouth. “Go back to sleep,” he says. Vash hmmms and gently swipes a thumb along Wolfwood’s jawline before his hand drops down to the mattress. Behind him he can hear the faintest sounds of lips smacking, as if a small child is projecting how thirsty they are.

Wolfwood rolls his eyes. “I’m comin’ girl, I’m comin’.”

As often is the case when he steps from their humble little box they call a home and into the courtyard that separates it from the orphanage, Wolfwood is softly punched in the gut by a mix of emotions. Even after ten years of living there, it is hard for him to believe that this is his life now, that this was what everything had led up to. That this is what he very nearly missed out on.

Beside him, Danny takes his hand, as if she were afraid to cross back the way she had come on her own. She almost startles a jump out of him. He had, to his chagrin, almost forgotten why he was standing there in the first place. Sometimes these little moments he had were just too powerful.

Together they cross the courtyard, mostly in silence, but Wolfwood is curious about the water.

“Now, be honest,” he starts, trying to sound as genuinely not-judgy as he can. “Are the jugs really empty or did you just want fresh water?”

Danny remains silent for a few more steps and then says: “It’s colder from the tap.”

Well, at least they hadn’t neglected to leave the kids water for the night, he thinks as they walk passed the Punisher, now decommissioned and standing in the courtyard like a guardian instead of a weapon.

"Alright, let's get you some water."

Thanks for reading :D Not 100% sure when this will be done, but it's a cloud to float on for a bit.

[mikeellee]

Twitter showed me sone terrible takes on AM and Izu, nothing new here. But here I'm to rant about this.

I have to say....I get it. No, really, I do. When people make fics where AM is either malicious or too dumb to live...I get why rhey they are doing this...I get where they formed this wrong idea.

For example, when we had a fic where AM is racist towards quirkless- note how those fics skew away from AM being quirkless himself- is bc in canon we never had an in depth on AM's life.

Was his childhood rough or easier? Did he always wanted to be a hero or was a fateful meeting with Nana that lead to his career?

Yeah we don't know. So I get why people would make fics where he is racist towards quirkless bc is easier and....the fic writer can prop up fanon dadzawa "I don't need my quirk to be a hero" (forgetting canon Aizawa usea his quirk 100%)

But ok...let's go to another type of fics. "AM is too stupid to live" and YES. I get this one. It's the basic plot where AM own stupid allows Izu to fall from grace and be a villain ...

And while I do have issues with AM's canon intelligence here (not about if he can do math or science) we would have to take in account the intelligence of every staff in UA.

I mean....BK is clearly hostile with Izu ( he doesn't hide at all) and tried to kill him several times. Please, HE HAS TRIED TO KILL THE MC MORE THAN SHIGARAKI (Like shigaraki is the villain and all that, but aside the war arc...he never tried to kill Izu or call him "useless" hey....guess who does it?) OR ANY VILLAIN! Why AM can't at very least make him stay away from Izu?

Answer: Hori and his love for the most useless and hateful character I ever come across.

The same question goes to all teachers. No one in UA tries to do anything- Aizawa gives no fucks to Izu and others and the others teachers, while I do think they don't care that much...don't have screentime- I remember seeing a post saying how maybe no one steps in bc "kids with powers can be rough"

Ok fair. But this is not the boys being boys. This is BK being 100% hostile and murderous with his victim.

And even if it was boys being boys...they won't step in? If Izu and Sero fight....UA will shrugs?

I do write fics where either UA is a terrible school milking on AM's good name or is trying to do god but there are forces blocking them.

And all the while I think AM being a teacher in UA- he has no qualifications but lets be real...Aizawa shouldn't be one and "Dadzawa!" Is popular- maybe wasn't necessary. Like, if it is to be part of Izu'a life....why not be a Consulting or smth else? Hell, AM have (?) An agency...why not take advantage of that?

"AM is a bad mentor"

I understand why people have this idea. Hori refuses to let AM be a good mentor. He is so crazy in "humble Izu" that goes against his story. The number 1 hero of all Japan wants to help Izu....but Izu needs to be humble....and Hori's defination of humble is to make his mc still think he is worthless.

Which leads to the last take I saw "Izu is a nepo baby" and like....

"Izu has everything on a silver plate while BK..."

"Izu never had to work hard while BK"

My guys....Bk never work hard in his life, Hori gave everything for his fav. Izu? He was abused, his father is MIA (I get the fathers in Japan have the costume to work overseas but Hisashi is never once mentioned and please, note how among all the fathers, even the bad ones, they are there) his house indicates he is from poor background....he had no friends...and his abuser was after him for 10 years.

Inko has no friends "ah but Mitsuki and Inko are bffs" is 100% fanon...and I think is a creation of a BdDk fan.

Izu had to work harder than everyone else...even more bc he got a quirk which breaks his bones. Everyone in UA knows how to use their quirks. They were born with it...Izu? He got recently and Hori still goes on "humble his mc"

So...please if anything BK is a nepotism Baby. He is priviliged. He shouts he wants a perfect victory but his victories are given.

Hori refuses to make any plotline that may make people see his bk in a bad light....which is impossible at this point...he is the most hateful and useless character out there.

[scattered-winter]

oh my god ACTUALLY yes tell me all about the vigilante carlos au

(@x-andro)

ok so first of all I need to say that carlos is sooooo very vigilante coded already. all I did was see truth <3 (@dauntingday shares custody of vigilante carlos btw <;333) AND SECONDLY HERE'S THE PLAYLIST <33

this au incorporates my favorite headcanon that eddie and carlos are childhood besties btw <33 but basically they grew up together and were like Brothers and they were going to Change The World together!!! but then carlos' family moved to austin, and shannon got pregnant and eddie went off to war and they kind of. grew apart. but they both wanted to Change The World still!!!! so eddie became a firefighter in LA and carlos became a cop because they wanted to help people!! they grew up wanting to help people!!!! and carlos wanted to follow in his dad's footsteps!!! but it didn't take long for carlos to realize that the police force only helps the people on top. and the people who really need the help are the ones being oppressed and abused. and he hates that he's a part of it. he tries to stick to it because maybe he can change it, maybe he can be a good cop, but in the end he realizes that no matter how good of a cop he is, the system is still broken and there's nothing he can do from the inside to fix it. he needs to tear it down from the outside and still keep his soul intact. and so vigilante carlos is born <33

he purposely is using police colors but In His Own Way because his whole thing is that he's what the cops should be. yes visual symbolism is a thing of mine however could you tell??? his primary weapon is a collapsible bo staff, but he also has the generic vigilante arsenal (grappling hooks, throwing stars, smoke bombs, etc). the suit is primarily body armor similar to the stuff batman and co. use in the comics, and the cape is fireproof.

he takes the name sentinel (soldier imagery in MY carlos and eddie fic?????? more likely than you THINK) and primarily focuses on protecting the people over protecting assets and property. and he likes to fuck with the cops because he knows their procedures inside and out so he can fuck with them in a way that nobody else can <3 also as he gains more respect and admiration among the people, they begin to adopt his symbol as their own. the symbol of the people, as it were. kids spray painting the S on the alley walls, people scratching it into their walls with chalk, etc etc. I'm a slut for the superhero protecting his people and the people accepting him as theirs, ya know????

anyway the story proceeds fairly similarly as canon, except carlos has been operating as sentinel for at least a year BEFORE tk and owen moved to austin and put the 126 together. so he helps michelle investigate to find her sister, and grace is his oracle <333 she figured out he was sentinel fairly early and insisted on helping him. thus many late nights of grace and carlos poring over cases at the ryder kitchen table while judd played video games in the other room because grace and carlos' detective teamup arc in s3 was SOOO <3333333 she's on comms, and hacks into cameras and security systems to help him find people to help or people to hurt, depending on the situation. her codename is soteria (greek goddess of salvation, safety, and deliverance <333) tk and eddie also talk shop long-distance, and there's definitely a few instances of eddie talking carlos through removing a bullet late at night. and also eddie and carlos speaking spanish to each other. I'm right <3

he meets tk and the 126, and everything proceeds about as canon dictates, except sometime after putting the firehouse together owen retires and goes to live in the fucking. bahamas or something. idk where he is but he sure as hell isn't in austin anymore <3 before, carlos didn't really have anyone outside of his family to hide his secret identity from, since grace and michelle already knew, but now he has a new family to lie to, and he doesn't want to lie to this one. he and tk hook up and get together a la canon, but then a few months into their relationship tk finds out that carlos is, in fact, the vigilante running around austin all night. and of course there's some conflict there because tk's upset that carlos didn't tell him, and carlos is upset because he wanted to, but wasn't sure how, and also didn't want to bring tk into it anyway, and it's kind of a Whole Thing. but after they both have some space and cool off, they reconcile because I like miscommunication angst but only if it isn't dragged out super long. so there's a little angst but nothing huge. they're partners in crime your honor <333

SO. PARAMEDIC TK x VIGILANTE CARLOS. YOU CAN UNDERSTAND MY VISION CAN'T YOU <33333333 I have an UNGODLY amount of scenes where tk patches carlos up after patrol while they're both discussing the current case and bouncing ideas off each other. this is my very self indulgent au after all <333 at this point, most of the firehouse still doesn't know that carlos is a vigilante, with tk being the exception, and carlos doesn't want them to know because they'd gladly throw themselves into the field to keep him safe and he doesn't want them to do that!!! the entire reason he's doing this is to keep people safe and he doesn't want his friends to put themselves in danger for him!! but ofc they find out in the worst way possible because it's ME <3

carlos' primary villain is gonna be a pyrokinetic/serial bomber for a lot of reasons first of all so that tk can use his expertise to help solve the case and also because it's a sexy sexy trope to have an entire firehouse be up against the literal embodiment of evil fire <333 but sometime during this conflict, the bomber figures out carlos' secret identity and nearly kills him in an explosion, so tk rushes him to the one place he can trust: the firehouse. which is how the rest of the 126 finds out that carlos is sentinel because he's wearing the suit bleeding out from shrapnel wounds <3333333 tommy and nancy help tk patch him up, and after carlos regains some of his strength he and tk have to figure out their next move. so he tells the 126 to leave austin. go stay with relatives, go stay with friends, whatever they have to do that gets them out of the city. they're connected to carlos, which means they aren't safe anymore. and meanwhile carlos and tk are running to ground to figure out their next move against the bomber. and they go to the only person carlos trusts with this: his childhood best friend. cue the tarlos road trip from austin to LA and the scene where they're on eddie's doorstep and eddie just pulls carlos into a hug because they're BRUTHVERS ur honor.

the next phase of this arc takes place in LA as carlos recovers from his injuries and he, tk, and eddie try to plan out what to do next. and also uncle carlos playing with chris. I'm correct about that too

meanwhile, LA's own young vigilante is running around on patrol with a suit very clearly modeled after sentinel's, so after carlos heals enough, he goes out to meet her. and may grant wasn't expecting to meet the person who inspired her but she's very much happy to!!!! before meeting carlos her primary style was to hack into the phones and talk the bad guy down and lure him outside where she's waiting to Take Him Down (like she did in the most recent episode!!!!!) but then he teaches her how to do more detective/vigilante work. carlos mentoring may is what I'm saying. and they're both vigilantes. <3

may's suit btw <3 she looked at sentinel's suit and went "what if that had STYLE" and she was right <3 she modeled her color scheme after firefighters instead of cops, because she has so many incredible role models in her life who are also firefighters!!! her superhero name is peacemaker, which she modeled after her mom!!! may's entire persona as a superhero being inspired by both her parents is SO personal to me actually

anyway. carlos and may bestieship agenda <333

and ofc the good times can't last. because the bomber follows them to LA. and now it's sentinel + peacekeeper + a handful of the most batshit insane found family to ever exist + the most batshit boyfriend to ever exist against a bomber who can shoot fire out of his hands. also carlos and may working together to take down her first real supervillain <3<3<3<3

but ofc they take the bad guy down, and tarlos go back home to austin, but not before getting roped into Dinner With The Grants where athena pulled carlos aside and says "I appreciate you keeping my daughter safe out there but please for the love of god don't fucking DIE before we see each other again" and also carlos sparring with may that is ALL <33333

[mcwritingblog]

I’d Like That

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x Reader

Summary: Javi and Y/N meet at a royal ball

Rating: G

Warnings: Fluff.

Author’s note: Just finished watching Bridgerton and Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent so my brain naturally made up a blurb. Enjoy :)

Word count: 1K

The warm summer night hung with the smell of sea salt and rose. The party inside was as lively as ever. You dragged your sister to this ball in the hope she’d find a suitor. You watched her laugh and smile so gently at every man she danced with, discussing ranges of conversations with the grace your mother had. But, on the other hand, you were a wallflower, drinking your lemonade and breathing in the sea breeze from the window. You spy out to see the lighthouse in the distance, lit up, guiding passage for the ships.

“Y/NNNNNN, you’re supposed to be dancing,” Mariana, your younger sister, groans. She looks lovely in her lavender-colored dress, and her hair is pinned up in small flowers. You chose a darker plum-colored velvet dress with your hair pinned halfway up with tendrils falling around your face. 

“I needed fresh air annnnddd,” you scoop up a glass of lemonade, “some refreshments,” you say with as much vigor as you can. “I see Sir John Applesbee has taken a liking to you; he danced with you twice.”

“Yeah, and he has stepped on my toes three times now. II swear I won't have a big toe by tomorrow”, she scoffs.

You try to keep yourself from laughing, brushing down the front of your dress, and standing straight.

“Ok, what about Sir Miles? He seems lovely, quite handsome that one.”

“Sister, you are only two years my elder and, might I add, still on the market.” she gives you a stern look.

“Alright, alright. If you promise me, you’ll at least try with Sir Miles. I will stray away from the walls and mingle.”

“Deal.”

You finish off the little bit of lemonade you had left. “Let’s go get you a suitor” you grab her hand and lead her out.

You spend the next hour conversing and delighting three suitors. Two have taken a liking to Mariana. You can feel someone’s eyes on the back of your neck. It must’ve been the wind. You laugh it off and return to what the gentleman in front of you was saying.

“I've recently found myself bound to reading. I feel as if I could do it all day.” Sir Miles starts the second part of your conversation.

“Mariana loves to read. You should talk to her about her recent interest in Asian literature”, you interject. Again, you feel a presence behind you.

“Miss Y/L/N,” you turn around to see a man with a gentle smile and beautiful tan skin. It takes a small breath away from you. You haven't seen him before. 

“Hello. I don't think we got a chance to meet. My name is Javier Gutierrez.”

“A pleasure.” you hold out your hand. He brings it up to his mouth. His lips brush against your glove for just a moment. Those warm brown eyes don't leave yours the entire time. Your brain is reeling. You could faint right then and there.

“May I have this dance” he puts his arm out for you to grasp

“You may,” you nod with a smile, taking his arm and letting yourself be led to the dance floor.

It's almost as if the party's electricity was dancing between you. As if there was no one in the room but the two of you.

“I haven't seen you at any other balls this social season. Where have you been?” your eyes search his face for an answer.

“I came late. I had business in Italy. So I guess tonight is an introduction into society.” His fingertips are barely far enough from yours. 

“You have an interesting accent.”, you observe.

“You have astute observation skills. I was born and raised in Spain. My father passed when I was fourteen. I live with my uncle in the ton.” He paused.

“I was never a party person, and my uncle has never pushed. This is the first year I have accepted his advice. It wouldn't kill me to find a wife, right?”

 Your bodies move in different directions, shoulders touching, faces turning to each other. Eyes unable to stray from the others. You felt a warmth brush up in your cheeks. 

“There are tens of girls who’d jump at you given a chance. Why pick me?”

“You looked bored by that window. And lovely. Your laugh is intoxicating, and your smile could bring me back from death.” Your mouth gapes open, and you realize it isn't very ladylike. You close it, not having the words.

“That's all very sweet.”, you blush, looking down.

He raises his hand to hold your chin with his pointer finger and thumb.

“No need to be shy.”

“You’re being very forward”, you turn away from him. “What’ll everyone think?”

“You’re right. I am being too forward”, he clears his throat and brushes down his jacket. “Another dance?”

“Yes, I would love that”

“Might I ask about you?”, the next dance starts, a waltz. Your chest is to his and you can feel his warm.

“What would you like to know?”

“Easy one. What do you do in your free time?”

“I do enjoy spending time with my sister.”

“The woman that was with you and Sir Miles?”

You nod. 

“Mother insisted I look after her tonight. Mother was feeling unwell and I agreed. Though I feel like ten minutes away will take a turn. He’s a gentleman. I love my sister so much and I want her with a man who’ll take care of her” you start to ramble, “I’m talking too much arent I?”

“You have alot of passion for your younger sister, I understand. What do you like to do, just you?”

“Oh, I do enjoy tending to my garden”

“If your flowers are anywhere near how beautiful you are, everyone should give up”

“You’re just flattering me”

“I wish I was”

The moment grows quiet, the music slows to a stop and he begins to lead you back to your sister.

 May I walk with you on Monday? You call on a maid, and we may get to know each other?” he smiles.

“I’d like that” you say back. 

[quenthel]

💔🛑🔞???? omg im so sorry i didnt see that u were doing these

Hii Ella hiii <3

💔: any hated npcs?

uhhh honestly even the annoying ones I have a fondness for bc they are like... interestingly mean or it makes sense for them etc etc what makes me hate characters if they are stupidly written and with THAT I really hate the battlebliss guy (Irmangaleth or whatever his name is) and the aasimar guy in the abyss he can eat a dick. Also my god the trickster king guy and Socothbenoth i hate those guys

🛑: least favourite quest, or a quest you refuse to complete?

Blackwater and the Fallout reference quest. They are both boring/fustrating AND give no loot at the end. For non-backer content that one puzzle w the treant lost lands or whatever that place is called and the heart of mystery shit bc its too long... cool story beat and we learn more abt my friend Storyteller but experiencing it once was enough lol

🔞: do you have any nsfw headcanons, either for ocs or canon characters?

oh my god i have some... under the cut (also i have a lot to ramble abt sfdgfsdhf)

Ok first abt my ocs:

Bell has a lot of negative connotations w intimacy in general bc of the cult he was in and also towards sex since most of his sexual partners in the cult did die in childbirth (the whole glippothspawn deal). So he is almost scared to have sex with people and tries to live in a way where he does not do it a lot while also struggling with his own desires that he cant properly communicate or cultivate because intimacy is just too wrapped in for him in sex and death (like he finds casual hugs strange etc, very touch starved and isolated). He was also forced a lot into a more dominant role during that time and during the Cam romance he was forced into that again and he did it but he simply just does NOT enjoy that sort of stuff at all but he still needs an outlet etc. Thats why his romance and sexual life with Nocticula works better bc she is the one holding the reins and he cant possibly hurt her bc she is powerful and strong and his equal and likeness etc.

Cass is similar since she was also isolated and affection starved as a child but she was also trained to use intimacy and sexuality as a weapon almost to keep herself in the good graces of her superiors (she was in a s/m "relationship" with some priestesses of Asmodeus who were her employers). She does enjoy exploring that power dynamic tho but she has a hard time being intimate and soft without bringing sex into it so her love w Wendu starts with both of them almost hate fucking eachother a lot lol. Then she opens up and learns to be soft and teaches Wendu along the way and they start to care about each other more deeply its very nice.

Marci is just ig very sexful (high sex drive) and while she is generally very well composed and stable that can cause issues with her. She probably has a lot of casual sex. Like I was thinking abt her having sex w Sister Kerismei (the woman from Woljif's quest), one of her army generals (the elf lady), and having a few lovers in Drezen too. She and Arue can bond over that too while she is in horny jail.

Masha is also pretty horny and she has sex with people before feeding on them (i know...). I had an idea for a scene where Lann catches her doing it and he is so crushed bc the girl he likes is fucking other ppl and eating them but they talk it out. She also probably gets it down a bit w Cam (her bicurios moment) and they drink blood together (weirdo besties for like 2 seconds) before Masha offs her (by sucking her dry) in the Abyss (sorry Cam).

Tessa is generally very chaste and she is more focused on the intimacy sex provides. Not the type of person who feels desire a lot. Also she has some baggage after being a Nocticula worshipper around sex bc she used her beauty and sex appeal a lot to hurt others and she prefers having relationships that are no longer centered around that.

Duncan is just chill. He has no isses anymore, he had many long term relationships in his time. He is like 40 also and he had a wild time being a teen/young adult around sexuality but its like mostly behind him. Like in the relationship w Daeran he is clearly the more well composed and at peace one so Daeran is just going trough it trying to untagle the mess of his emotions while Duncan is just there supporting him, hanging out and smoking weed lmfao.

For canon characters I mostly have thoughts of Woljif, Lann, Wendu and Daeran... less nsfw headcanonc and more of an interpretation of their characters bc i am insane

Like Daeran very clearly cant separate affection and being horny so he always tries to sleep with people he cares about and is attracted to thats why he goes so hard for the commander lmao. He is probably a good lover tho but he has issues. Lann is probably very worried about everything and lets his insecurities show and is generally stiff in those situations so its very awkward. But once he gets over that he has a fucking job to do. Wendu cant separate pain and pleasure properly AND she probably has that specific issue where she does not let herself want casual intimacy and soft affection bc she convinces herself tht she does not need it so she is all sexhorny instead and tries to channel her frustration into that. She is also probably very unhealthy in the S/M relationship too like type of sub who wont rly talk abt boundaries or safewords or shit which causes issues. True love Wendu however learns that those are important and gets better at communication so there is more aftercare.

OK with Woljif... Its less about his sexual habits but his connection towards sexuality ig bc he gets no action very clearly. He is bisexual tho but he is also very insecure and never have been loved. He kind of strikes me as a Denji Chainsawman type character who wants to be loved and cared for but he is also a horny young adult (instead of being a teen like Denji) so he probably conceptualizes those wishes as "omg i need to have sex" instead of him needing love and care yk.

[elxy-x]

life updates, feelings, thoughts, and growing pains.  Chapter 1

hey there. It's really been a time for me and my spiritual growth. I don’t where this path is leading me in life sometimes and it scares the shit out of me. I’ve lost a lot of people that I always thought were going to be in my life, yet here I am still going. The only constants in my life have been God, my parents and my family. But then again, I guess that’s all I ever really needed. I’m really learning how to be whole by myself. Ironic because I am dating someone named: Austin Taylor Gabriel. The name has a good ring to it. I can for sure say that from what I have seen so far I like his mentality on things and he adds to my happiness, which I absolutely adore. I still live in a lot of regrets and the guilt sometimes eats me alive a little. This is the consequence of my actions, the best I can do is learn and change for the better. I’ve been having a hard yet, easy time adjusting. I know really know that we never really get to keep anyone in our lives. If we are lucky-- we get to “keep them” at least until they pass away. Some people-- a lot of people really just come and go to teach us lessons, to brighten our days, and make a gloomy day seem like we still have a fighting chance at the perplexing thing called life. Some people grow to be your best friends and stay for life. I am learning to let go with grace, no resentment...it’s ok. Really, it is guys. I realized this is was the most whole I have ever been in my life when 2 of my best friends departed from me. The crazy part is that I was still happy deep down inside when these series of unfortunate events occurred. I can’t sit there and be upset about anything because I see people die every day at work and life is way too precious. I would be doing Mr. Rodgers an injustice or other patients that I work with. I think to myself: “if they can still smile and they are bed bound-- essentially. chained to a bed, then who the hell am I to not live my life to the fullest? I have to live my life happily and to the fullest, for God, me, and lastly to the people that can’t anymore. I am still fighting my demons every day, but it’s going really well. I am 37 days sober and I don’t really miss the alcohol which is weird. 

Chapters 1 and 1/2 

I have met a wonderful human being at a very strange time in my life. Right when I was done with relationships and trying to make things work. He goes by the name of Austin Taylor Gabriel. He is absolutely incredible. He is very caring, humble, funny, super goofy, and is always willing to try new things for me. “Hell was the journey, but it bought me heaven.”  Come to think of it now, if I would have met Austin any sooner I don’t think I would have cherished the connection as much as I do know. I went through so much shit and trials and tribulations and was about to just give up on the idea of finding someone that it made me appreciate finding someone like him. He’s very different for sure. Last weekend it was spent together with him, I danced with him in his living room ( country dancing to be exact). It was magical like I had met him before already. He’s the best buddy that I never had in a significant other. We both feel the same way. he asked me out at his house on March 2nd around 11pm or midnight. Shortly after....well you know how it goes. We had sex to Taylor Swift in the background, her folklore album to be exact. And let me tell you. That. Shit.Was. Magical. Everything about it. Also, this is the 3rd time I’ve had sex with Taylor Swift on in the background. Its my guilty pleasure. Things are easy with Austin, super easy. We think a lot alike and respect each other much. The first flower that he bought me were sunflowers, although they were rather dead lol, and he bought me journals and beautiful pens so that we could get to know each other.   He’s very supportive, is always excited to see me, and has beautiful blue, green, gray, teal colored eyes that are my favorite to look at while he is “smitten” looking at me. Austin may have just “came at the right time in life and I am very lucky” per my therapist, but honestly. I want to figure things out for me now. I want to make me happy and be there for my first. For the first time in my life, I am putting me first, learning to say no for my mental health and I'm not afraid to do so. I’ve taken so pictures with Austin at the Photo Booth where I used to all the time, I've decided that its time to make some new memories. Austin is very attentive, gives me my space, is very understanding, and is very attracted to me, haha. I met this man right after I ended things with Josh Beckham, and guys let me tell you this was a blessing in disguise. I haven’t met the new me yet, but I'm sure she would be proud of all the choices and the decisions that I have made. I was getting the bare minimum with Josh and didn’t see it becuase I was told I was being “unreasonable” too “overwhelming” and “too much”, but it was the other way around really. My last words to him were: “Please do not contact me unless you want to make things work. I want to find my husband.” I  And that’s  what I did. I focused on my own short comings, as I still am and here I am. I trust God with all my heart and I don’t know why he’s doing what yet, but I know it will all make sense later for sure. He has never let me down. I find peace now in just being alone....maybe thats why my parents just like being alone...it’s just easier. Spending time alone is one of my favorite things to as of now.  I have picked up new hobbies: running, photography, tennis and biking all coming here soon this summer! Austin will be my new jogging buddy. Cheers to new chapters. 

[eristic-kaleidoscope]

La Vie En Rose | AIRika + Erik | Trial 2.6 | Re: Erika, Eri

Hook. Line. Sinker. AIRika didn’t have to use the act for long… and they’re absolutely horrified and disgusted at everything they’re hearing.

“No. No. Shut the fuck up. Both of you. Just shut up.” 

They gesture between Erika and Eri, pinching the bridge of their nose.

“A mercy kill? A fucking mercy kill? You let Cosette die. They weren’t even your stupid target. You could’ve saved her. Erika, you have fucking medical knowledge. We could’ve cashed in a favor or anything.

But no! You robbed her of that. You took away that choice. I knew Cosette. They didn’t want to fucking die. They wanted to live. They wanted to eat sweets. They wanted to do all the things their illness said they couldn’t. I fucking promised her— I promised her that no matter what happens here, I’ll remember her name. She didn’t want her memory to die with her. I promised her that.”

They take a deep breath, looking over next to the hosts once Erika L and Erik A are done. Erik A’s words only fuel them even more, and they breathe in. Their relationship to Cosette was founded on a similarity they never thought they’d find in someone else— and that’s changed everything for them. They need to get this right.

“Is it okay if I get up to check something about Eri myself?”

An pipes up in response first! “Well that’s awwwfully vague of you. How do we know you’re not going to check how stabbable xe is?" 

“I just plan to check under their bangs for any injuries. I literally don’t have a weapon.”

An sticks their tongue out. “Ok, fine then! Party on.”

“They’ll need a second person to vouch,” Another voice speaks, closer to where the sisters are. Erik turns around ruefully, setting a few things on the ground behind his podium chair with a metallic rattle where they can see it.

“I’m also without weapons now.” He says, voice hardened with tranquil rage. There’s blinding white-hot anger in the dark green pits of Erik’s eyes, but even now he forces it back behind the mask in a bout of self-control. "I promised the same things to Cosette. Perhaps more. I’m going to hold onto her memory for as long as I still draw breath, but in her very same memory, I’ll be content with executing justice.”

It occurs to him that Cosette’s beating heart is the pounding in his ears. The wish to sit down at a dinner table full of love during Christmas, to be welcomed home, to be unconditionally loved. And they were loved. Still are. Everyone has communicated their righteous indignation for him, and all he can do now is act on their behalf. “Airika. Let’s be thorough.”

A nod from Calluna this time, to join her sister’s approval. “You may both proceed, though don’t dawdle longer than necessary.”

AIRika gets out of their seat next, calmly strolling over to Eri before moving in close, one hand mockingly caressing their cheek before leaning in.

“Is this everything you dreamed of? All eyes on you? You got it, Eri. We’re all yours. Enjoy it while you can. The fall is my least favorite. I’ll relish in yours.”

They lift up Eri’s bangs, checking over their face first and running their hands over the surface. “…Nothing on their face.”

Meanwhile, Erik grips their hand tightly, preventing them from being able to hide anything else as he briskly runs his gloved hands down the length of their forearms. Where once his actions would have been graceful and considerate to nem, now he’s simply going through the motions.

“…Byrne, you can keep your tokens. An advance will no longer be necessary.” His tone is clipped, words strained. “I’m sorry, but I think I’m going to have to request for my gloves back now, Eri.” Erik steps back, his expression unreadable, and holds his own hands up high for others to see.

“Because these ones have been stained with concealer. There are scratch marks here.”

And sometimes, that’s all there is to it.