#i need her back (my computer)

[asukiess]

once I took your medication to know what it's like.

[lolrentz]

girlfriend said i should draw her :P

[oifaaa]

Legally, I am recquired to inform you fucking rule, and that if you disagree, sue yourself and act as both parties.

I really dont have the money to sue myself but if needs must

[kirisclangen]

Larchpaw

She/her, 8 moons, cis molly

[iangallagherisadeadman]

post-s11 Tami definitely gets tired of Lip and leaves him.

yes, I do like them as a couple, I think it is an interesting dynamic and that Tami is good for him honestly, even though they lived completely different lives and crash so many times because of it throughout the last seasons.

fact is Lip won't ever change and will keep making the same kind of mistakes and she will get fed up with it eventually. they'll go different ways, maybe keep a somewhat friendly relationship, and she will get a new partner and Lip will have a Sean kind of relationship with Fred: that kid is the most important thing in his whole life and he's constantly hunted by the fear of drinking again and hurting Fred.

[wetpapert0wel]

i can just feel that my computer is about to kick it. firefox makes my cpu usage jump from 10% to 70% just by loading a single page.

[naomiknight-17]

Thinking about how when I talked to my ex about feeling like I may not be cis, she accused me of trying to jump on a trend because her and her friends were trans. She said I just thought being trans was cool because I spent too much time on Tumblr and that I shouldn't fake it for attention.

She quizzed me on whether or not I experienced dysphoria and how I felt about my genitals. After all that she said "Well, maybe"

She said something once about being trans being unnatural and I was like, no, no it's not, it's fine. It's normal and common and has been part of humanity forever. And she argued and pretty much shouted me down until I didn't know how else to convince her that, no, she isn't a freak, actually.

She made a comment once about certain kinds of trans people (I wish I could remember exactly, may have been a microlabel like demigirl or similar) weren't 'really' trans, just wanted attention, etc. I didn't argue then, because I figured, she's trans so she must know better than I do, right?

She was also certain that nothing she did or said could be transphobic, because she was trans. I tried to argue against her because she said something unkind about another trans group and she shut me down with this.

She was so full of self-hate. She was so judgmental about other trans people and whether they were really trans enough or just faking it. She had so so much internalized transmisogyny and transphobia.

I haven't seen hair nor hide of her in many years. She left tumblr ages ago. I ghosted her shortly after she announced on her blog that she was exclusive with someone else - then was shocked when I didn't want to 'stay friends'.

I wonder about her sometimes. I hope she's doing better. I hope she's with someone who can help her learn to love herself, and her fellow queer community.

And I am pretty sure she's one of the big reasons I am so terrified to officially call myself nonbinary and update my pronouns. Cuz I'm probably just faking it for attention.

[philcoulsonismyhero]

I keep getting rejected from conventions that I've been doing for multiple years this year and I heard on Friday that I didn't get Scotland Comic Con, which I've relied on for the last two years to be able to pay my fucking rent over the winter when there's no events, and it makes me want to scream because what the fuck am I supposed to do about it?? I'm making new stuff reasonably regularly, I make really good sales when I get into cons, I go out of my way to be reliable and show up on time and do everything they want exhibitors to do, and it's just flat rejection after flat rejection, sometimes without even the courtesy of a spot on a waiting list or a cursory 'sorry, we got a lot of applicants and we've got limited space'.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I don't think I even am doing anything wrong, I'm just getting repeatedly fucked over by event organisers who just see me as a way of increasing their own ticket sales rather than a human being trying to make a living.

And, like, part of me gets that I've been doing this for a while and folks who are new to it deserve a chance to get a foot in the door, but my ability to be charitable runs out when the biggest convention in the country decides no, we don't have enough room in our fuck-off huge venue for everyone so bye, fuck you, that ~15% of your yearly income that you rely on making at this con is just going up in smoke.

I like doing conventions, I'm good at it and it's fun, but it's getting Really Fucking Stressful to have my ability to eat and pay bills decided increasingly arbitrarily by the same five events companies who don't seem to give the slightest shit about anyone.

And I don't know what to do about it because the reason I'm doing this is because I'm too fucking autistic to get a real job, and I got kicked to the kerb by the benefits lot a few years ago because that system's fucking broken too, and the more effort I put in the less work I seem to actually get and frankly I want to fucking break something

[rhythmic-idealist]

In retrospect I apologize for the lack of a “at least daily for sure” answer

[gideonisms]

can tamsyn send me the google docs link to atn I have experience as a beta

[xanthicantag]

This is what the game is about, well ok this and gay people

[the-way-astray]

can you follow me back

katie's going to start accusing me of stealing her anons

[keeps-ache]

the worst thing that has come out of me losing every art file from this year is that i can't just eyedrop palettes now. the world is agony

[tittyinfinity]

My mother confuses the fuck out of me

[httpiastri]

how about if... i just... don't do my work.....

[chiistarri]

"be grateful for what you have" have you considered that i am but also want something else