#i need something that’s genuinely going to devastate me and make me crazy

[fingertipsmp3]

Tbh it’s been so long since a book has made me feel completely and utterly insane. I need to read something that’s going to make me want to scream and peel my skin off

[narcissistshandler]

I don't know if you are taking requests for the spiderverse, if not you can ignore me, but if so could you write afab!hobie being eaten out for the first time by the reader?

𝙊𝙑𝙀𝙍 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙊𝙑𝙀𝙍 𝘼𝙂𝘼𝙄𝙉

✧ 𝖯𝖠𝖨𝖱𝖨𝖭𝖦. gn!reader x hobie brown

✧ 𝖶𝖠𝖱𝖭𝖨𝖭𝖦𝖲. afab!hobie brown, reader has no gender or genitals mentioned, clitoris/lips/folds words used to refer to hobie's genital organ, oral (reader giving), hobie having some insecure thoughts at first, virgin hobie(?)

✧ 𝖠/𝖭. I wrote this request in 30 minutes and honestly? Anxiety doesn't allow me to reread what I write many times, but I really liked it here and I can't stop rereading it, thanks for the request and trans people please feel free to correct me if this offends anyone, it's not my intention.

Heat warms Hobie's skin, making the clothes uncomfortable and the way you are positioned perfectly between his legs, kissing him while rocking your hips together doesn't help. He knows he's already wet from just that, you know it too, there's a stain getting bigger and darker on his pants.

Hobie can't decide whether or not he's glad he decided not to wear underwear today.

Your mouth pulls away, breaking the kiss. A magnet seems to pull your bodies together and neither of you makes a move to put an inch more than necessary between you. You both take a deep breath, seeking for oxygen against each other's lips. It's something simple, damn simple and yet, it makes that excitement bubble in his stomach.

So is this, Hobie thinks, what it feels like to be loved?

"I want to suck you," you say and Hobie's head spins. He must be crazy, he must be dreaming, completely out of his mind because there's no way you would want to touch his body in such a way, but then you're repeating, louder and clearer: "I want to put my mouth on you, I can?"

Hobie takes even deeper breaths, shivering. He thought about it over and over again, you between his legs, your fingers on him, your tongue... and maybe something else. But Hobie never genuinely clarified these desires, he joked and made innuendoed at times filled with an unusual sense of lack of confidence.

Your hands tightened firmly around his waist and you pulled away, now really putting some real distance between you. Hobie immediately grabbed the hands still on his waist, he didn't want you to leave but you just pulled away to get a real look into his eyes.

"You can say no if you don't want to, that's fine," you said.

"I want it," he admitted, feeling his black skin ignite. Hobie didn't know how to say he wanted this more than anything. "Put your mouth on me."

He had never done this before, no one had ever volunteered. You barely started taking his pants off and Hobie thought he was in heaven, that was it, you were his heaven.

The fresh air in the room made him more aware of the mess between his legs and Hobie made two feeble attempts to stop himself from covering his face; he needed to look at you, to know you were okay with this. You however looked mesmerized, hands stroking his tense thighs.

"You are breathtaking." There's pure adoration in your voice and Hobie feels himself tighten under your gaze.

Your fingers are careful but firm when touches his wet folds, Hobie moans at the feeling of someone else touching him in such an intimate place. Your fingers travel between the soft lips, running up and down unhurriedly, mapping his body, his reactions, before running the index finger over the swollen, sensitive clit, that throbs under your attention. 

"Beautiful," you compliment, before warning, sounding so sweet and filthy at the same time: "I'm going to put my mouth on you now."

Hobie can't take his attention away from you as he tries to mentally prepare himself for what's to come next. But nothing can prepare him for the hot, devastating sensation that is when your mouth closes and your tongue slides against him for the first time. His legs start to shake, nothing in the world is enough to anchor him, his head falls against the pillow and Hobie faintly hears the sounds he's making.

You eat him, hungry and Hobie wishes he could immortalize this moment.

Your tongue exploring every fold and crevice, lapping up his intoxicating essence. Your moans mingle with his own, reverberating against his heat. Hobie's hand sneaks down to your head, fingers tangling in a painful tug in your hair, the hesitation fades and gives way to pleasure, the urge to take you deeper into his core. You oblige, thrusting your tongue inside him with fervor, swirling it around and curling against his lick walls.

With each flick of your tongue, each gentle bite of your teeth, Hobie shudders in delight, hips undulating against your face. He's loud, moaning, whimpering, saying something that could be your name or just a jumble of letters that seem to make sense. His scent, his taste, permeate your senses, is all Hobie can think of. Of you giving him such pleasure, of you seeming to enjoy it so much.

Mind spinning with ecstasy, body lost in a cacophony of moans and pleasured gasps, he doesn't notice the heat bubbling to bursting, doesn't notice the orgasm threatening to knock him out of consciousness. Hobie straddles your face, his wetness coating your lips, mingling with your saliva. His hips sway, grinding against your mouth as you eagerly lick and suck his swollen clit, helping him ride the pleasure.

His hands grip your hair, strong legs wrapped around your neck, pulling and tugging with each joyful spasm that wracks his body. He gasps as if it's hard to breathe and his orgasm seems to last forever.

At some point, your mouth left him and now your lips are on his sweaty neck and face, saying words Hobie can't understand, pressing your bodies so close while your skilled fingers tease and torment his clit, amplifying the waves of pleasure that goes through his body. You pleasure him until it's too much, until Hobie decides it's enough, the problem is he's afraid he wants it forever, him belonging to you, you touching him; over and over and over again.

[nightcolorz]

Asking you because I haven't seen anyone else mention this, but what do you think of 'Are you asking me or making me, maitre?'

Like Armand says this multiple times, and it's decades apart in very different situations, which makes me wonder if it's not just him being passive aggressive at Louis, it's a A Thing. Like is this something he used to ask Marius? Is it part of how merciful Marius was that he allowed Armand to ask the question? Or is it something he felt he never could ask??

AHHH!!! Love this question. Louis and Armand’s weird power dynamic rituals make me so so crazy.

i dont interpret it as Armand being passive aggressive, necessarily. When Armand says that in Paris Louis seems to perceive it (partly) as Armand asserting that Louis is reminding him of his abuser by pushing his boundaries, but I don’t think that Armand was consciously trying to get that across (especiallyyy in the 70s with Daniel). With the way Assad is preforming it, and the contexts of when he asks it, i definitely perceive Armand saying this as like, a genuine question 🙏. Armand isn’t shaming Louis for pushing him, he’s inviting him to.

The first time chronologically, in Paris, the hurt in Armand’s voice is kind of devastating. And Louis definitely comes off as off put/taken aback by the sincerity there. He’s basically implying that he doesn’t see his dynamic with Louis as a fun bdsm thing, he sees Louis as a genuine authority. And I don’t think he’s being passive aggressive mainly bcus I don’t think he is resentful or against this dynamic. I think the hurt doesn’t come from a perceived injustice, it comes from Armand’s sincere internalization that despite his decades being in power, he is always going to fall back into submission and servitude, always looking for an authority. He was trained to be that way 😭 Its how his brain was wired.

Louis is putting him in that position again and it’s coming so naturally to him, which is frightening for Armand, I think. He is so naturally and easily falling into the servant role, bcus historically, that role has been one taken by Armand for security and self preservation, which is likely how he sees it now too. Armand’s scared at that point in the show, and he feels disempowered, and Louis is handing him a safety net that he keeps falling through. And by asking Louis “are you asking or making me”, it’s kind of a “what are we” thing. Louis is putting Armand in the submissive dynamic but he’s not giving him the security that Armand is looking for in dynamics like that, sometimes he makes decisions for him and sometimes he disregards him, expects him to be independent. And that is probably suppperr unsettlingly for Armand, who doesn’t have any experience with lighthearted sub dynamics, and when put in that mindset is looking for instructions, clear guidance, a clear role. Their dynamic is playful but it’s also serious—Louis can and will use it to get Armand to do anything he wants from him without any prior arrangement, still in the guise of a sexual role play. Armand doesn’t know sexual roleplay 💀 He knows “sometimes I’m a slave and my master uses me and orders me to do what he wants”. And without any safe word or conversation, this is how he sees what he has with Louis 😭 and Louis is being very flippant with this perceived authority, which is distressing.

So by asking, “are you asking or making me”, Armand is like, are you my maitre or not? What is going on here 😭. He’s giving Louis the opportunity to tell him what he wants from him. Armand feels very unsettled by their relationship bcus he doesn’t know what is needed from him 😭 and especially when he’s being submissive, he is looking to play a role, do a job. Which Louis does not have for him 💀. Louis disregards the question by comforting Armand and telling him to let go of it bcus he realizes how seriously Armand takes his perceived authority and he knows that it’s wrong to indulge in that when it’s hurting him. Bcus 😭 if Louis said “I’m making you”, (like he did in the 70s, getting there), Armand would definitely obey him😭🙏. The way Louis responds is kind of dismissive, by both not answering the question and then leaving him alone, with a sort of pitying tone, he is leaving Armand even more unsettled 😭. It’s kind of fucked up 🙏 Louis is introducing that aspect of their relationship without any clear boundaries or expectations, knowing that by doing this he’s tapping into Armand’s trauma, and when Armand is asking for an assertion of how serious this is, how far this ambiguous authority extends, bcus he needs that to yknow, feel secure in this very triggering dynamic, Louis is like oh no how sad ur so traumatized 💔 and then fucking dips 😭. It comes off as a guilty move to me. Louis is (i think part unconsciously) Using Armand’s trauma response to get what he wants from him, and when Armand directly acknowledges that both Louis is using him, and he’s willing to be used, Louis kind of freaks out 😭 which makes sense. Louis is unspokenly pushing his consent, armand says does my consent matter, and Louis is like oh I’m sorry bye 😭. But the thing is Armand is genuinely asking, bcus he doesn’t rlly know what it means to have his consent matter, especially in a dynamic as familiar as this, he needs that instruction, that conversation.

a lot has definitely changed by the second time Armand says this in the 70s, bcus instead of freaking out and leaving Louis takes the bait, gives the order. It seems like by then Armand and Louis have established that Louis has ultimate authority, that he may not always use, but he is always entitled to. Which is probably very comforting for Armand in a traumatic way. He is used to security being “obey the master no matter what”, while the master is constantly using him and making demands of him, so it’s probably weirdly nice for him to have that familiar security and role while also having his own agency most of the time. It’s great for Louis because Louis is using Armand’s trauma brain to his advantage 💀. Armand has a warped view of his own self sufficiency and agency, and he finds it most comfortable and familiar to have someone there to tell him what to do, and to give him orders about what they need, bcus he has never rlly experienced a life without this. He has no concept of his own independence 💀so despite Armand being so much older and stronger then Louis, Louis is still able to have authority and control in this dynamic bcus of how Armand seeks that out and feels comfortable with it. When I say Armand is comfortable with it, I’m not saying he doesn’t feel violated and disempowered 🙏 I’m saying that he finds security and familiarity in being violated and disempowered. And Louis finds security in the control he has, so in a fucked up way it works out 😭 and it makes sense why this dynamic has persisted for so long.

When it comes to what u were wondering about how Marius plays into this, i think Armand is not trying to emulate an interaction he’s had with Marius, i think he’s trying to give Louis the tools to be Marius. Armand never had to ask Marius if he was making him, or clarify what was needed of him, bcus Marius always made that super, super clear. So by asking Louis this, Armand is like, be Marius for me, make it clear to me what I’m being used for. He has the agency to ask that question, but he is willfully giving up the agency to have the ultimate say in his own actions.

I loveee this “are you asking me or making me” thing so much, omg. Armand is like a pet tiger who looks to his handler for the go ahead before he rips a guys face off. He’s like a dog giving big guilty eyes when the owner scolds him for attacking someone. No matter how crazy and violent that domesticated animal is, it still has been trained to obey orders, follow commands, etc. Armand is looking for those commands, he’s never lived a life where he hasn’t had commands

thank u SM for this ask!!!! I hope i made sense in my response lol, sorry if it’s incoherent

[kadextra]

q!Bad’s “vacation arc” thoughts :3

At first, my feelings on this arc was boredom, a little sigh at playing up the usual skeppy-addicted bits, when it felt like there was a goldmine of opportunity to do a lot more crazy stuff with it. But after really considering q!Bad’s actions the past week, the events of today, and reading some other posts I realized- it’s not how it seems.

Under the veil of silly goofy this is wayy more angsty and serious. This isn’t just another of the usual skeppy bits, this is different. q!Bad is genuinely devastated and mourning over missing his dear friend, to a degree we haven’t seen before. and he’s mourning over the risky things he had to do during the elections, which only put him & his kids in more serious danger. This so-called “vacation arc” isn’t a vacation at all.

This is a grieving arc in disguise.

The vacation, the jokes, all of it is done on purpose. all to build a facade for the audience, and for the character himself, who is lying to himself about the true weight of his emotions. (have you noticed how often he’s been drinking this past week?)

It’s being played so well that if you didn’t realize it at first, good I believe that’s the point. even the other characters are just now starting to notice & get actually concerned that something more is wrong, and their friend needs real support!

The truth comes out in things like q!Bad asking Foolish for a hug (and I stress: he never does this) yelling about not wanting to wear his armor, and saying he wants to “extend his vacation.” (more like wanting to extend his mourning period)

But it’s so obvious that his kids are the light that’s pulling him through this dark time. how fitting it is that he calls them his sunshines. especially when earlier today, Dapper and Pomme gifted him the scythe they worked hard to make together, with the fitting name of Sunshine Protector. afterwards q!Bad was emotional and literally said:

“I’m content right now… maybe I don’t need to extend my vacation.”

and that’s the line that made it aalllll click for me.

anyways to wrap it up yeah I’m so impressed with how this character arc is going :D

[menlove]

speaking of mclennon fics i need your help😩😩 i just finished i can only speak my mind & going nowhere & the jumper & on our way back home (which dear god were all excellent) and now i desperately need something similar and/or equally as good

those are some EXCELLENT fics. but hmmm lemme think! so I'll go for the vibe of like "mclennon through their lives" based on those. wall staring fics, if you will.

John My Beloved

explicit. 33k. major character death. user only.

They've always loved each other, in their own way...

I rec this one a lot but that's bc it's incredible and also made me like actually and genuinely start crying like. I'm not joking it was like 7am and I'd been up all night and I finished it and just stared at the wall and teared up. the last chapter is actually evil.

i was a younger man then (now) (post hoc)

mature. 27k. fix-it. (still major character death but not how you think)

John’s twelve when a bloke appears from a flaming pie and says, “From this day forward you are Beatles with an ‘a.’” The bloke is Paul.

Or: paul and john meet at all ages and eras and john is the time-traveler’s wife the way only john lennon can be

another one that I rec literally every time but it's my #2 mclennon fic of all time it makes me crazy

I Still Miss Someone

explicit. 64k. 3 part series. not a happy ending.

It's 1976 and Paul keeps showing up on John's doorstep with a guitar. Eventually John turns him away and Paul goes off to sulk in his hotel room the night before his flight from New York. Based on real events.

this one isn't through All their lives, but it has a similar vibe and made me stare at a wall, so

blood on the tracks

gen-mature. 66k. 11 part series. modern au. fix-it.

He was a grown man, a rock star, richer than Croesus, emotionally stable, and more than capable of handling a surprise visit from his ex-husband.

Paul married John when he was eighteen and divorced him at twenty-nine. Two years later, John pays Paul a visit.

this series is sooooo. I think about it Constantly. inspired me and millie's own married mclennon au that lives in our heads. I just love that like. it gets into the fact that even if they lived in a world where they could've been openly together and even married, it wouldn't have fixed the problems between them. a good character study!

Throw the Wine

mature. 51k. major character death. technically unfinished but it ends in a spot where it doesn't feel that way.

"But you realise that you're in real life, and you don't split up a beautiful thing with a beautiful thing."

-Paul McCartney

Or do you?

godddd I was hesitant to read this bc it's unfinished and last updated in 2018 but I saw it recced everywhere and everyone was so fucking right. this hurt. this made me want to die. it's so good. and like I said, it's unfinished but where it is is finished enough that you don't feel cheated. also, the author offers a spot to stop if you want a happy ending which is nice!

I Do

explicit. 73k. major character death.

A collection of stories about John and Paul’s developing relationship, with weddings as the theme for the day.

I'm on chapter 23/25 of this and I already know I'm about to get devastated. this is ruining me. but it's so good. my favorite part so far is that the love between them even while they're broken up is shown soooo well. like you really get the sense that they're still friends even at their worst times. they just love each other. it's making me crazy

[according2thelore]

That anon who said they dean being jealous of himself is SO right. I'm LOVING the angsty jealous dynamics you've been feeding us. I'm partial to "young Sam is jealous of old Sam" myself because it's soooo cute and sad. Like yes! Make Sam pout! Make him value himself less! Make him glare daggers at LS!Sam and ES!Dean!!! Make him think he's the odd one out and not wanted! The angst! I'm also dying for ES!Dean to comfort ES!Sam once(if) he realizes that he feels left out. Just UGH. ES!SAM FEELING LIKE THE LAST CHOICE! SO good. I love coming to your blog just to see what you post lol, you just hit every right button for me.

AHHH! THANK YOU!

let's discuss!

SO much of ES!Sam's life up to that point is feeling like the odd one out!

when it's just dean and sam, i think sam doesn't feel like he has to try to fit in as hard. when dean's trying to impress/ingratiate himself with dad? for sure. those awkward few hunts after stanford? 100%

but when it's just dean and sam, they might fight and get snippy, but sam doesn't have to put up a front. he doesn't have to put on airs. in fact, we see a couple times in the show that when sam's trying to be something he's not with dean, it's to protect him/protect his feelings.

so for ES!Sam, to have that safe space (lol pardon the phrase) GONE--sam's only completely authentic space (bc even with jess, he had to hide huge parts of himself)--

it would definitely put him off-balance. to sam, dean is choosing a different, better version of sam. ES!Sam felt safe being his own bitchy self with dean, but to have ES!Dean so clearly prefer a version of sam with all that removed, i wouldn't be surprised if ES!Sam felt the pressure to change to meet ES!Dean's new preferences.

which of course he resents! sam spent so much of his life being told to change: by dad, by dean, by other hunters, by himself.

to find out that your only true safe place to land can, does, and will prefer a seemingly faultless version of yourself?? bro. immediately confusing and devastating.

and even outside of the meta-dynamic of their relationship, ES!Sam is confused! and scared!

because he's also in love with dean. so to be usurped so easily both platonically and romantically?? GRAH! it drives sam crazy!

because he's not even sure which parts he's "allowed" to be mad about. he's not sure if glaring at the space where LS!Sam has his knee pressed against ES!Dean's in the car is an "acceptable" platonic jealousy, or if it's part of his sick-wrong-bad possessiveness that ES!Dean is his.

he's not sure if wanting to rip off LS!Sam's face for making ES!Dean laugh like that is annoyance that ES!Sam's superpower is communal or fury that ES!Dean is capable of belonging to someone else.

he's afraid of coming out and saying a lot of it, because what if it's too revealing?? what if he missteps and ES!Dean recognizes that ES!Sam's agonized ire is because he wants to suck his cock until he can't see straight?

he's annoyed and he's mad and he's upset, but bottling it up is all ES!Sam really knows how to do unless he wants to bring their house of cards down!

as for comfort, i think ES!Dean at first would not recognize this at all, lmao. for all ES!Dean's attentiveness to the changes in ES!Sam's moods and needs, he thinks he's just being a little bitch about the whole thing (his regrettable choice of words, not mine).

like c'mon, we're both weirded-out by this whole thing. we're in this together! and being rude to LS!Sam&Dean is not going to change our situation. dean does not take slights to sam lightly, even if the person slighting LS!Sam is ES!Sam.

i think it would take something stronger for ES!Dean to realize that ES!Sam's feelings are genuinely hurt--or at least confused--about the whole thing. ES!Sam avoids him like the plague, and these men do not sit down to talk about feelings, lmao.

maybe ES!Dean stumbles in on LS!Dean & ES!Sam talking, and LS!Dean is obviously comforting him, hand on the back of his neck, and ES!Sam's got a pink nose and shiny eyes and ES!Dean kind of blows up, because what the fuck did you say to him? what's going on in here?

LS!Dean rolls his eyes and shoves him off like go talk to your kid. i'm not here to mediate your bitchfits.

maybe it finally comes out later, ES!Sam not really able to look dean in the eyes, that he's sick of dean being so whipped for LS!Sam, and since when did dean need other brothers?

ES!Dean doesn't know how to express the fact that he's so taken with LS!Sam because this is a brother that wants him back! that needs him back! LS!Sam loves the hunt and he loves dean, and he's not shy about either of those things! if LS!Sam has free time, he spends it with dean. if LS!Sam is bored, he goes to look for dean. ES!Dean is thrilled by the promise of that future, of a sam who is gorgeous and strong and sexy as fuck and wants dean!!!

so he fumbles his way through it like "c'mon, sammy. he's you."

"is he, though? he's...i don't know. it's hard to recognize myself in him. he's...different....than i thought he would be. i guess."

ES!Sam doesn't know how to say that out of the four of them, he's the only one that feels Other. he wants to be part of this, but they don't make it easy.

ES!Sam doesn't know how to navigate on the outside of the Sam&Dean dynamic. he is the Sam in the Sam&Dean dynamic--he's realizing how strange and alienating it is to be not Sam or Dean in that, and he hates it.

"you think i'd put up with some guy that wasn't you?" dean scoffs, and they both kind of stare at each other for a second, because that was dangerously close to the truth.

"listen," ES!Dean follows up quickly, because he's not willing to let those words sit in the air too long, for the off-chance that ES!Sam will have time to process them. "you're my sam, okay? my pain in the ass little brother. this guy is sam, but he's that dean's sam. so. y'know. they're not us. or ours, or...whatever. you're still the little shit i'm gonna bug first."

it's tense for a long moment, unsure if that was too honest, too revealing. ES!Sam's still breathing a little fast, and ES!Dean keeps shifting on his feet.

"you're an asshole." ES!Sam finally says, exhaling, looking genuinely un-strung for the first time in weeks, and ES!Dean practically slumps forward in relief.

"aw, sammy. you sure know how to make a girl blush." he coos, and ES!Sam swats him away, all it's sam, you know it's sam.

and ES!Dean is smiling and rolling his eyes and his hands are still shaking under the table like yeah, yeah, whatever you say.

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!! jealous sam! devastated sam!!! isolated sam!!!

YOU GET IT!!!!!!! YOU UNDERSTAND THE VISION!!!!!!!!!

thank you for this ask!!! and for your kind words!!! mwah, mwah, mwah! <3

-lizzy

[ham1lton]

hello! this isn't a request for a drabble but i just wanted to just rant about how fucking devastating brocedes is. like how can your life be so intrinsically intertwined with someone and suddenly never intersect again. and i find it so humbling? idk the word but someone like lewis crumbling at the prospect of ever talking to nico? they're always so so close at being in each other's lives but somehow its like its meant to be that they go on separate ways. i am a nico rosberg defender, so good on him not letting be played as second fiddle. but god, at what cost though! ANYWAY william shakespeare WISHES he wrote this shit.

i literally was about to log out of my tumblr when i saw this ask and i’m SO glad i saw it before i logged out. brocedes is genuinely insane to me. when crofty said ‘this man knows lewis hamilton friend, teammate, childhood buddy, rival, everything bar lover’ i literally frothed at the mouth!!!! my god!!!! brocedes have known each other longer than they haven’t and their relationship has been through so many changes.

i’m still relatively new to the whole brocedes lore and everything new i learn i go insane. the edits on tiktok need to stop!!! i’ve started spamming my friends with them and they’re all in the know about lewis’ childhood relationship with nico. literally was explaining it to my bestie over ft and she was like omg. this sounds like a movie.

it’s crazy!!!!!! i’ve been sitting here alone going crazy like that one episode of spongebob where he’s alone indoors.

like COME ON!!!!! this whole situation is some cinematic movie shit. as you said, shakespeare wishes. one day they’ll make a movie about this and i hope they get a brocedes lore expert to truly understand the vibes because this is something so personal to me……

[takami-takami]

Trigger warning: restrictive eating (medical), calorie numbers, weight, emeto. LONG SRY

I will say though. Now that it's gastroparesis awareness month! My story with gastroparesis.

Today, I ate a meal with my family. I ate rice, chicken without oil, and baked empanadas with ground chicken in them. And even though my mom had to cook me a separate plate that wasn't deep fried like everyone else's, I feel so at peace.

Today when I was at the doctor's office getting a physical form signed for school, my doctor turned to me and smiled and said, "I'm not telling them about your gastroparesis for stomach issues. You know where you are. Stable!" And I genuinely lit up and nodded.

There was a good period of my life where I was only eating 600-800 calories a day. I slept propped up to aid motility, I woke up every morning with pain and would wake up in the middle of the night. I had shakes and tremors when I took my medicine. I was tired, cold, underweight. I developed agoraphobia because I was so terrified of getting sick outside and not having my room to go run and hide in.

I had anxiety attacks about my food getting contaminated, and I yelled at people who touched or moved my food like a starved animal. Like, I genuinely felt like one.

I remember when I found the first nutrition shake I could keep down. After drinking one per day, I noticed I didn't drag my feet down the steps anymore. I actually did a little skip. And I felt so much joy and told everybody I knew, I can skip again! I could dance to music for a short amount of time again!

I remember how devastated and scared I was when Orgain changed the recipe to appeal to diet culture instead of health. I went right back to that dark place.

But I pushed myself, and once I noticed my volume intake limit increasing, I knew I had to start varying my diet because my gp was improving. So I dealt with refeeding, and it was hard. But I did it!

Over the past three years, I have slowly gotten better and better, more able to tolerate more volume and more foods. I stopped my SSRI antidepressant at the advice of my GI, and that definitely helped over the past year and a half. I also healed more from my trauma, which I do genuinely think helped me as well.

Now I weigh enough to donate blood again! I went to Japan and ate at restaurants! I get crepes with my sibling and the blueberries make me a little sick but I eat them anyway because I'm not so afraid anymore! I can go out with people to eat! I can eat with my family!!!!!!

Now, I just avoid high fat, high fiber foods and don't eat raw, unblended veggies/fruit. And I'm genuinely fine. I can literally check the nutrition label and EAT THAT NEW FOOD? RIGHT THERE? AS LONG AS IT'S LOW FAT/FIBER? THAT'S CRAZY!!!!! THAT'S CRAZY.

I'm just so happy. I have no idea how I managed back then, because I'm so fucking happy now. I'm genuinely happy, and I'm not in pain every day. Now I only experience pain if I eat something I'm not supposed to. That's so crazy. Genuinely.

I am very grateful. I have never felt something more soul-crushing than gastroparesis. It's a terrible diagnosis, and no one wants to study it because it's rare and a cure isn't "profitable". But it is a very, very painful diagnosis, and the suffering is real.

I'm just happy to be okay again. We genuinely need to find a cure because no one should have to live like that.

[crguang]

I feel like there’s a lot of sacrificing for a joke in hsr, which is definitely annoying especially when it just…doesn’t make sense, tonally and just logically. And I really do wish we found out more abt the TB, and I would’ve like even like a tidbit from firefly since we talk to her sm, we even play as her at the end. Or maybe get an offhand mention abt how she’s not supposed to tell us bc of the script or smth . I def agree w you, I cannot take the ipc seriously, bc there’s all this stuff abt how they’re doing stuff for their own benefit and profit but idk the stuff w the stellaron hunters and them is just so goofy, like it doesn’t make any sense.

ok so, I was looking thru ur blog and I realized I sent a message abt two-ish weeks ago, tumblr probably ate it smh. I was just saying how it was silly that Kafka’s wanted poster literally says she likes coats on it, and her bounty, like that’s it. Shes so sjsjshbsbddbbewv. And I also came up with another fic idea, like Kafka in an idol/band AU, but also I think her being an actor w the other stellaron hunters would be funny. But yk if I ever get around to writing anything instead of Kafka just living in my brain, who would she be in a band with, I was think abt using some of the characters from the animated before the show starts thing, but the instruments just don’t go together. Also I think I need to work on writing Kafka in general, bc she’s so complicated and it’s fun but I also overthink things too much.

And the leaks were unfortunately right abt 4 characters on one side. I’m not as devastated as you ofc, but hopefully I win my 50/50. Hjskalskskskndn I will cry if I loose.

also, no need to apologize for ranting, your rants always make more sense than mine, and I really enjoy your thoughts. -🌠

i agree with you 100%!!! missed opportunity with firefly and the tb reconnecting it could have been so nice. and omg i think i read that ask, it sounds familiar but i have so many (most are really old reqs, the recent ones are the event reqs i keep to answer eventually) and sometimes things get lost or i’ll click on the notification, answer in my head, then go do something else and forget to actually post my reply, im sorry😭😭 but YES i was thinking of kafka’s description in the game and while i know its the objective writing of the game and not the ipc, i find it funny to believe that whoever was in charge of her wanted notice thought she was hot as fuck because “dashing” and “beauty” in the same sentence is crazy work. her bounty is even funnier bc im wondering how they found out that she loved coats like😭 did she steal a bunch (she did), are they rlly monitoring her credit card and seeing all the purchases of expensive coats, is she always found in a store— what is it?!

actor au stellaron hunters would be really fun… you could also just put then in a band together for the idol/band au because i do think they’re the people who understand her best. the thought of kafka and jingliu practicing together is so funny because jingliu would hate that woman like GDJFBFNG her arrogance would have liu clenching that instrument so tight

i dont think you should worry about overthinking when it comes to writing, it can be a weakness because then you focus too much on details and forget the big picture, but personally i also think j too much into things when i write characters like kafka especially. when every genuine emotion is in the twitch of a finger, there’s kinda no choice lol

“im not as devastated as you” is killing me but its true… im the biggest victim of this banner system bc if i dont get my swanie i’ll @)&$(&)@)£<£#%. i hope u win the 50/50, unless i lose mine in which case i hope everyone else also loses <3

[tremendouskoalachild]

Isabela Merced talked about tlou in a recent interview promoting her new movie, so i transcribed that part

Correct me if I’m wrong – are you in the middle of The Last of Us right now? Are you basically taking a break for press?

We are on the tail end of it, I think we're about to be done soon. I already saw the teaser, Craig Mazin showed it to me. It was phenomenal, and I’m really excited for the world to see it.

I got a chance to do the podcast with Craig after last season. I know you must now be an amazing fan, that guy's a genius. He's amazing and such a sweet guy. Did you go hard after this one? Were you a fan of the game?

Yeah, yeah. I never played the first one, I probably will after this. But the second one I played, and I loved it. And it was really cool to see how the sets look exactly the same. It's so neat. Every day on set is challenging, I will say. It's a show about fungus. So it's not glamorous by any means, and it's hard topics and conversations. Fear is one of the main emotions that we experience throughout. And I'm really proud of Bella. I think if I were to close this out, if this was the last interview I did about The Last of Us before he wrapped, I would say, you know, I really hope Bella gets their flowers. They're working really, really hard, physically and emotionally, mentally. One thing I've learned throughout this is like, wow, you can really admire people who are younger than you. You can really look up to them, absolutely.

Yeah, no, Bella is a special one. I also spoke to them after the first season and just the intense scrutiny too and, you know, there's toxicity out there. The stuff that you guys have to deal with, it's crazy. Just let the great actors act, and Bella is a great one.

Well, what confuses me is the showrunner and the creator of the video game, they work together to make this. So if you like what the guy made and he's making more of it, why are you mad? I don't know, I'm too opinionated to be on twitter. Like, I really need off, because I see this stuff, and it makes me just want to go Cardi B on them, you know what I mean?

I'm worried about your buddy Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn Dever, one of the great actors of our time. Abby – no spoilers – does some things that people don't necessarily approve of. Kaitlyn’s going to get some hate through proxy of just being Abby.

There's so many strange people in this world. There are people that actually, genuinely, hate Abby, who is not a real person. Just a reminder – not a real person. And so, you know, Kaitlyn had to be extra-secured by security when it came to the filming of this. Kaitlyn is such a cool person who just does not get phased by things, really has her head in the right place, and also is going through a lot right now, personally.

I know she lost her mom, yeah.

Yeah, it's devastating to see. But also, give her the damn Emmy, honestly. I’m so excited for people to see how incredibly well Bella and Kaitlyn did on this.

And obviously the relationship between Ellie and Dina is important. I assume you guys screen tested as well, you and Bella?

Oh, no actually. Craig and Neil came to me for a “generic meeting”, as they say. And I was like, okay. Then they kind of mentioned the show and how there's a character there that maybe… and I thought oh, even if the meeting goes well, I'll still have to audition and I'll do my research and whatever. And I guess they decided there and then that they wanted me. So that's wild. I don't even think I believe in myself that much. So I'm like, okay, sure, I'll accept it.

Is there something that you've shot that you're most excited for fans to see? I know we have a long way to go before we see it, but something that you took part in that you can't wait for the fandom to see?

I think it's the romance for me. I think it's the romance between the two of us that really brings a tear to my eye. I have a whole playlist for Dina and Ellie. It's beautiful, there's this one song that we would play on set, that I would play on set and that Bella really loved, by Adrianne Lenker, that really set the tone for us. It's beautiful. I think they did a really good job.

[lunar-years]

I honestly think if Roy proposed keeley would’ve said yes and what followed would’ve been the downfall (her continuously pushing back the planning because of work, him wanting to do it now, etc)

OH??? anon why 😭 christ that's painful. And I could really see it happening, too. Keeley with her abandonment issues immediately being like "yes of course i'll marry you Roy" because she obviously does love him madly and feels like there's no reason not to, really, especially if it means he'll always stay. But then she's constantly pushing back to the date citing work, to a ridiculous degree, like...over and over...so that even her closest friends such as Rebecca are deeply concerned and eventually broach with her like...is there something deeper going on here, Keeley ? are you happy ? and she can't even explain why she keeps pushing it back she just knows she needs to. and then Roy being totally insane about getting everything planned and making it happen asap and that only stressing Keeley out further until the whole thing comes to a head and falls to pieces. Devastating.

Also...because I'm me...imagine how Jamie would handle finding out Roy & Keeley got engaged in the offseason :( He's very resilient and everything and of course he knows nothing was ever going to happen between him and Roy or him and Keeley again (lol) but he's still strangely crushed? All the other Richmond boys are crazy excited and soooo happy to hear the news, so then he feels like an asshole and has to go around pretending to be thrilled for them even though he's filled with dread about the whole thing. Like, I genuinely think he would have taken that news very hard.

On a related note I saw someone talking about a potential RoyKeeley big Richmond wedding (and they meant it in a wholesome cute way so im so sorry for saying it inspired my sad tragic plot bunnies lmao) but they were like "Jamie would be best man!" And it got me thinking... I truly think being best man at roykeeley's wedding would break him.

[earlgreytea68]

I thought i was going crazy talking to my friend about this but I double checked with a recorded vid and like the riff btwn pete and patrick did not happen in Wrigley before the piano time like pete just thanked us for the fan project and patrick introduces the piano bit. So like I'm emo thinking about how maybe the banter wasn't always in the set but idk what's more devastating to think about patrick asking for the riff or pete starting the riff for patrick or it being something that occured naturally and they just added it in later🐉

No, you are absolutely correct, I was at the Wrigley show and there was no riff with Patrick. They played Fake Out, the stage went dark and Pete thanked the crowd for the pink seashell lights which he said looked beautiful without being lit, so I think no one expected him to talk at that point and it was spontaneous on his part in response to the lights. Then there was a long-ish pause and then Patrick said, "Hi!" and started talking to the crowd.

I remember this all vividly lol because I was trying to catch everything said but I stopped recording after Fake Out ended because the stage went dark, so I missed Pete's pink seashell project remark. And then I started recording when he started talking but the stage was dark and silent for long enough that I stopped again and missed Patrick's "hi." Hahaha this is why my memory spends its time thinking about, Idk.

ANYWAY. I've thought a lot about how the banter moment got added in. It does seem like it became a formal thing since Pete has it in his setlist, even if it started informally, although it also never seems in the least bit planned because it's always just nonsense lol. I wonder if someone thought the delay between Patrick being ready for the piano segment was long enough that it needed filler (that naturally being Pete), but the fact that it's not just Pete talking to the crowd but Pete talking to Patrick seems so much more weighted. I genuinely think it developed as a check-in, but whether Patrick explicitly asked for it or whether Pete realized he needed it without being asked, I have no idea. Both ways, as you say, are devastating to contemplate lol.

Patrick being like, "I thought we would have a moment of banter," made me think initially that Patrick asked Pete to stick around and talk to him and Pete was kind of like, "...but about what?" lol. But the way that Pete treats it makes me think that he understands it as "make sure Patrick's okay." He very frequently checks in with him to make sure he's ready before leaving the stage, and then Patrick acts like he's like, "That Pete! He's so weird!" And that would support Pete having decided to do the check-in on his own. So WHO KNOWS. All I know is that it exists and every show I'm like, "Please tell me they still did Riff with Patrick," it's very important to me lol. Idk, it also just feels fan-service-y to me in the best possible way, that every show gets their own Peterick moment on-stage, and nobody knows what either of them will actually say or do during that moment, and it's a lovely extra bit to the show that I appreciate us getting. So maybe neither Patrick nor Pete need that moment and it's all for us. EITHER WAY lol

[betweenthings2]

hello!!! warning you now that this is going to be the longest thing ever because i’m allergic to being concise but it’s finally time for me to actually send you an ask to gush and discuss your incredible writing. i’ve been interacting with your work on ao3 and tumblr for over a year now and i just lurk and heart everything because i refuse to use tumblr how it’s intended to be used🫣 but it’s time to show my face (even though this is anonymous oops) and say the quality of your writing is genuinely unparalleled to anything else i’ve ever read online and dare i say it comes close to/ overtakes some of the published books i’ve read and loved. you are such a talent it drives me crazy. you’ve quite literally spoiled fanfiction for me because i’ll read something for a different fandom and think “ugh it’s good but it’s not betweenthings2😔😔😔”

i saw you answer an ask a while ago asking what your goal for writing is and you said something along the lines of wanting to move people with your work. when i saw that it made me smile because you’ve achieved it ten times over and im worried you don’t realise it!!! so im going to tell you about my experience reading Roadkill for the first time (side note but in my opinion this is your best and therefore most underrated piece and i would love to talk about it further)

i remember being at a cafe that day by myself having a little drink and sweet treat and getting the email notification that you’d posted something to ao3 and nearly dying from anticipation for the rest of the day because i knew i wouldn’t do the fic justice to just quickly read it in a noisy cafe. it would be a waste of art. so in the evening i lied to my parents that i had plans with friends and wouldn’t be home for dinner and instead walked to the park near my house with a block of chocolate and sat on a park bench in the slightly-chilly-but-still-nice-out australian dusk. trust me i remember it so vividly because it’s like a core memory for me now. i’d been going through a really tough time mentally and felt super disconnected from everything and everyone. when i tell you i read all 35k words in one sitting and wept like a baby. i’m a very emotional girl dont get me wrong but the release that your writing made me feel was something so special that i’d never felt before. the whole piece is so devastating and confronting and just misery but it made me feel so seen and whole and human. if i could describe your writing in one word i think it would be human. everything is always raw and vulnerable and messy but so tender it just makes me insane. i sat in that park and cried for such a long time and even though the whole experience was so heavy and i could feel the grief you manufactured in my gut i left that park feeling lighter and grounded. i think that’s how anyone would feel after witnessing such greatness. (side note but i’ve actually banned myself from re-reading roadkill for the minute because it makes me lose my mind a bit too much but that’s just a further testament to you. can’t wait to get back to my scripture later on)

your other fics on ao3 and perfect as well and i read Second Letter From St Julian, All This Barley Getting By, I Forget A Lot Of Things But I’ll Never Forget You and Me And You vs Them religiously. they are my comfort fics through and through🩷 maybe the hyper fixation has gone too deep for me but when i’m trying to fall asleep i use the plots of your fics to expand on in my head and it’s just the perf combination to lull me to sleep.

now for imo the main event of this ask- i need to tell you the extreme and life threatening brainrot THIS specific line from Of Bouquets And Back Rubs has given me.

"Sorry," Matty apologizes.

George sighs, but doesn't stop. "I'm going to start talking to your therapist if you keep apologizing for things you don't need to apologize for," he says.

what the hell. you can’t just write that and expect my whole world to not revolve around it for the rest of my life. that line ping pongs around my head at all times. at work, in the shower, when i’m on a walk, when i’m laying in bed, it’s literally always on my mind. i don’t know why but i just thought you should know that’s it’s STUCK with me. like i’m truly affected. (if you ever wanted to expand on it you know you have at least one devoted fan of the idea)

hopefully this will be my first of many asks because it’s so nice to finally tell you how deeply in love i am with your words. to hold me accountable i’ll claim the matcha emoji 🍵 if that’s something you do!!!!

i just realised i didn’t tell you how your prompts make me melt but they do and i wouldn’t survive the commute to tafe without them. just little bites of pure literature you spoil us so much.

thanks for giving me something to lurk on and obsess over- it’s been an honour🩷 (also ps i wonder if you can figure out who this is based on the freaky amount of times i heart your posts. someone has to sit me down and explain that this isn’t instagram🤕)

Hi, newly christened Matcha Anon!! =)

I meant to answer this yesterday, but I just kept reading through it and being so incredibly touched and blown away by all of your kind words that I didn't entirely have a response, but I think I do now. I will also be long.

First of all, I am so touched (and a little surprised) that you find my writing to be on par with published novels, so thank you so much, that is such an amazing compliment!!! I can't believe I've spoiled you for fic. I'm getting back into the swing of things now that I'm home, so I'll have more fic for you soon.

I'm also so glad to hear that I've creating something moving. Sometimes I think I take things a little too seriously, particularly writing fic, but I'm thrilled to hear that you find my work moving. This will be stuck in my head forever:

"it would be a waste of art."

Roadkill was a lot to write because it gets so bleak and some of me is in there, but I'm so moved by your experience of reading it and honored that you would share it. That's my goal, generally--to create catharsis. And to see my fanfic called greatness? Oh my god. Oh my god. I have no words other than oh my god and thank you so, so much!!

I'm thrilled to see that Of Bouquets and Backrubs resonated with you, particularly that bit of dialogue. That whole fic was a little bit last minute, to be entirely honest and I was working so hard to make it fluffy, rather than angsty. I might expand on that fic in the future, but I also really like how it ended. Who knows what will happen. I don't.

I'm also so happy that you like the prompts! I think they're really fun to write and very low stakes for me. Apologies for not having a more regular schedule for posting anything, but there's no way I could keep that up for more than a week or two. I would explode.

Thank you so much for all the compliments and reading what I write!!! 💚💚💚

[fortheb0ys]

Nah you're so real for that ✋😭

I'd love to hear you write some poetry about men and their bodies, I love men, probably too much. My insta note last night was "I love men 😞"

I actually have like 2 different Pinterest boards about men, ones men I'm into and the other is just gay men being gay (can you tell I'm bananas)

Unfortunately all Pinterest gives me is twinks, and I've got no idea how to get chubby/fat/muscular gay people to pop up, I'm going crazy

Raging bisexual Peacemaker, Mr. Gunn, make it happen rn, I beg. Raging autistic homosexual Vigilante??? He's already canon, idc of he also slept with that lady, he did it because Peacemaker was there and you can't tell me otherwise

Nah, I am ALWAYS daydreaming about my favorite characters, it's haunting. I pray everyday no one can hear my thoughts because I think I'd be locked away for them.

ALSO, I LOVE LIL PHILLY 😭😭😭 HES ADORABLE

I'm so glad you were able to get a second one, because I'd actually be so devastated if something like that happened to me

-🥭

AHHHH I LOVE MENNNNN😭 If I genuinely went off I don't think I could hold myself back! They'll lock me away!

My board is literally muscler men doing gay shit but I need variety!! WHERE MY MEN WITH DAD BODS AT😩🙏

Honestly love the bi representation!! Vig is definitely autistic and gay. It takes one to know one lol He only slept with that lady to inadvertently sleep with Chris. No one can tell me no😠

Sometimes ppl will talk to me and I blank at the worse times. Like they're venting and all I think is blah blah Graves this or blah blah whit guy that. Like I care but my mind wanders🙏 I'm pretty sure they noice cause my eyes just glaze over and I'm gone😭

IKR I LOVE LIL PHILLY!! Lil Philly the 2nd is still growing on me. For some reason he's a different texture and I'm a bit upset by it but I love hin nonetheless :3

[urcharactersclasspect]

i am a prince of time and uhh give me your best explanation of the classpect

lesssgo this is been in the works for forever

Princes, no matter what the aspect, are highly intense individuals. Usually I dont go over exacts on personalities alone but Princes have a distinct way and manner to them. They are intimidating to others, often temperamental characters and go to extremes when spited or when they genuinely believe their way to be the only right way, much like Witches often do they are destructive in whichever way that is that they have set up for themselves, just far easier and they dont need the arc of going through something particularly harmful to get to the point of lashing out or being that way like a Witch. They go straight towards the socially or physically destructive option without too much hesitation, often times on purpose to get the most results possible, and even when destruction in their wake wasn't on purpose or what they meant to do originally, its going to happen anyway; as unlike a Witch even an attempt to hold back the reigns can be detrimental. Prince is above all else an extremely active destruction class, whether they personally like it or not but they are not a passive person by any means nor any contexts, They are not Bards and dont just "let things happen" they are the ones actively going out of their way to make things happen. Most princes though accept it as it is and can understand this about themselves more than anyone in the room with them. Including if it means they can become more aware than anyone else that as a result of this, they might need to be self aware enough to not take the charge that they want.

The thing about Princes however, is that they don’t naturally Invert over time; They are stuck inverting on whatever aspect they are. If pushed with a set of beliefs they can be a nightmare, or given the right support, can destroy and be self aware enough to allow others to build from what theyve done.

Eridan was inverting into Rage big time. He lost every quadrant, his friends were beginning to be less sympathetic to him and he was progressively becoming more unstable as a result, not only was he losing Hope, he was letting his Rage and Fears and biases control him which lead to the destruction of his session- Him to kill Feferi, Kanaya, to want to join Jack as the only option. He was a history buff on conquerors and people in history who devastated others for their beliefs (His handle word of Caligula, comes to mind) , he liked weapons of mass destruction and even commissioned bombs and dooms day devices for anti-land dwelling purposes, as he fully believed in Seadweller superiority. And when push came to shove and he felt all hope was lost his first instinct was to not consider other options at all, not sit and think, but to immediately go for just joining the enemy. When disagreements occurred; he killed Feferi and Kanaya. This can be partially explained by him being a Violet blood, we know canonically the higher on the hemospectrum you are, the more prone to aggression and violence and even recklessness you are, however - this combined with the inherent nature of an untethered Prince caused some seriously obviously big problems. The fact hes a troll, just made traits of a general Prince millions times worse, as morality is different for trolls and he lost all his emotional anchors to pacify him, no moirail, no red mate and no kismesis either. Eridan, In the story, is very much a destructive prince as things progress; much like a monarch losing trust in all his subjects and slowly going crazy and becoming a tyrant, Eridan fits this structure perfectly for an unstable prince.

Dirk is our other main prince example.

Dirk is, actually not nearly as Chill as facade presents himself as. Which is something I feel some people get wrong about his character. Dirk is a VERY INTENSE PERSON, this is shown both in both versions of him as Bro and the Alpha Dirk. He mirrors Mind, someone calm, comes across as calculated, having all the answers and trying to make the best choices for the best results centered around actions and routes something could’ve logically taken; almost robotic. But in reality, his methods are very extreme - they aren’t always the best option for himself and others, they are self destructive in some ways, as his aspect is that of The self, the Heart. He can only really read his own mind and heart, not others, and it makes him skip steps to things and the solutions he needs for other peoples problems or what could help another person out. He tends to go too far.  He can be very impulsive and as we can sort of gather based on his relationship with Jake, he can be VERY passionate, emotional and was even called smothering if memory serves me right. This is because these sorts of things are all his true aspects traits put under what can be seen through destructive lenses. Dirk creates a Robot that looks like him in order to prepare Jake for monsters and other such fighting; This is not too dissimiliar to how Bro would fight Dave in order to prepare him for Earths Apoclopse he knew would happen due to his connection to a corrupted Lil Cal. Which yes Im aware people dont like to mention this part of things- Bro is definitely abusive, and due to the brainwashing from Cal, Im inclined to think it wasnt quite for the right reasons either. but Bro probably DID see it as the “right thing” to do. But like with everything else to do with Dirk, It was done in the most extreme of ways, and something not often discussed is how Dave’s own sense of “self” was almost destroyed by Bro, the aspect of Heart overshadowed Dave; Dave mimicked Bro, spoke “chill” like bro, fought like Bro, He wore glasses like Bro for the longest time; These are all signs of a Prince of Heart destroying another persons sense of Self or “Heart” actively. Turning things into themselves like a puppet cosplaying as Bro. Dirk was self aware he could be become like Bro if he didnt have his friends or people to really care about in his life to hit him with “whoa hey, thats a bit much dont you think?” from time to time. This because only Dirk knows who he really is. His truest inner self. Even if its knowing he can be toxic and controlling and way too impulsive or quick to jump the gun. Dirk knew he was capable of this. He knew his self obsession could become too much. Its why he masked it with a Mask of Mind. A cool guy facade. its why he held back his destructiveness.

The Aspect of Time, as stated by Hussie himself

Those bound to the aspect of Time are fighters, full stop. Their lives are often marked by struggle, not so much because fate has it in for them, but because they are fundamentally incapable of just accepting things as they come. They value action over passive acceptance, even if that may not be the wisest or safest choice. Don't try to tell a Time-bound to sit still and look pretty. They are very goal-focused, and tend to value the destination over the journey, and you won't find them making that journey in any traditional sort of way. To quote cheesy posters found on many a guidance counselor's wall-"impossible is just a word". If you need a miracle, they are who you call. At their best, the Time-bound are empathetic and relentless problem-solvers. At their worst they are ruthless, defensive, and impulsive.  

Time is all about literal Time, Timelines, The Past, The Present, The Future; but never specifically the events inside them, simply the concept of them and destination youve reached as a result of All of them combined. Its probably one of the trickiest to read as full classpects, as outside some key components of the characters and people tied to the Aspect, its actually very hard to decide what placements of traits or themes they have. Things I do know are: Time players enjoy a morbid fascination with the passage of time and how it effects things, animals and people and desire to keep things linear but rarely can on their own or the way they want, as keeping Time controlled is like trying to hold water in your hands while actively being inside the ocean. Aradia had archeology, Dave did taxidermy to dead crows and had an interest in Jarred dead animals and they both seemed deadset on preserving parts of time itself. We don’t know about Damara, but we know The Handmaid wanted to die due to her servitude to Lord English, but was never allowed to. She was given immortality and she herself was “preserved” for a purpose all throughout varying Timelines on repeat unti; her work was finished only for her life to start over and over again. This happens to Dave too; Repeated dying, crisises, etc until he got what he needed that being to protect time for his teammates to get out. Aradia also died on repeat and stayed dead in the past in her mind as a ghost. When revived shed embraced the unpredictability of living held as a result of time carrying on, She wanted to see how Caliborn would fuck everything up. "I mostly just want to see what happens when this place blows up". Preserving her memories of when she died till she could beat the shit out of Vriska out of revenge. Therefore I will say, a key theme of Time Players is the preserving of a point of Time and person who cannot let it go or refuses to. Caliborn is kind of the worst but he IS the Lord of it. Caliborn believes in machomen type stuff and aggressively bashing the clock because you want something in the future and absolutely destroying everything around it too to get it. Caliborns logic is "to hell with it! I'll get it just because i want it!"

If Space is the aspect of feminine energy and "motherly" or parental instincts of nurturing and protection and the things Calliope believed in and enjoyed such as Art and Creation - Space is stagnation, then Time is that of Masculine energy and being a brutal force of aggression to show you care without the affectionate types of care. Its keeping things in jars instead of keeping them in a cage to care for them. Time is absolute Chaos, but with no absolutes at all; there'd be far too many variables to account for to think you could really predict only 1 future. Unlike the Aspect of Light, which is linear and about only one type of future, Time is all of them; the good, the bad, the horrific and most dark and the absolute bests too.

Someone who destroys Time in others, who breaks timelines if set off on the wrong path and someone who acts the opposite of a masculine aggressive force of unpredictable chaos. All while acting on the surface like that of Space player; Cool, collected, parental, caring, nurturing. but whenever they do this, they are destroying the chaotic notions of time itself. A prince of Time is 100% a procrastinator, someone who thinks they have a bunch of time, but then gets distracted by sewing or a new art project and twio hours are wasted or, if put into a story context, they could intentionally divert time away from others and break timelines.

Theres actually way too much I could say on this. And I also cant think of many good examples of one either. But Princes of Time are hard to spot, its difficult to decipher if the chaos energy they have is gonna come from them poorly hiding their real natures due to their own suppression via acting more like a space player, or of maybe they are just a space player pushed to the wrong end of the cliff (space players can have no chill)

[ljf613]

Swanfire Month Day 13: What made you start to ship Swanfire?

Short answer? Henry.

Long answer? I can honestly say I was rooting for this ship from the very first episode. I was still in middle school when I started watching OUAT. I had only just started getting interested in love stories, and was still finding my niche. I had a soft spot for first love, for second-chance romance, and while I knew having a kid together didn't automatically make two people soulmates, it meant there was something, some story to be told, something that deserved a chance. So when Emma said that there was a father, one who "doesn't even know," my brain heard, "somewhere in this world there is a man who is still alive and has no idea he has a child. This guy is definitely showing up at some point and there will be DRAMA and it's going to be great!"

As early as episode six or seven, when Graham was trying to figure himself out and seemed like he was about to get together with Emma, my only thoughts on the subject were, "I mean, they're cute together and all, but I'm still holding out hope for Henry's dad." (And while Graham's death was tragic, part of me was relieved because it meant less chance of love-triangle nonsense when mystery dad did show up. I've never cared for love triangles.) Then came episode nine, when Emma lied to Henry about his dad. It was immediately obvious to me that this dead fireman business was a lie, especially since she'd indicated in the pilot that he was still alive. If she was lying, then there was something she was trying to hide. So when Emma said, "Henry's father was no hero and trust me, he does not need to know the real story," what I heard was, "this man was the love of my life and a decade later I'm still absolutely devastated just thinking about him and I can't bear to talk about him with anyone, even Henry." I continued to hold out hope for the rest of the season (pleasantly surprised that season one let its main character actually stay single for a while, which I'd rarely seen in a show like this before), and all through the beginning of season two. And then came "Tallahassee." "Tallahasse," which just served to confirm everything I'd believed from the beginning: that Henry's dad was someone Emma had loved, that she probably still loved him, that he was a good guy who'd genuinely cared about her, that he was likely still crazy about her, and that he would be showing up eventually to find her. From then until "Manhattan," I was on tetherhooks, waiting for him to show up in Storybrooke and get drawn into the drama. (I think there was a point where I thought he might arrive while Emma and Henry were out of town with Gold, and everyone else was going to be so confused as to who this new stranger was, all while he would hear everyone talking about Emma's son and have questions of his own.) Once Neal was finally in the main storyline? Well, he very quickly became my favorite character (if he hadn't been already). And every scene he had with Emma just told me more and more that I'd been right from the beginning: these two were meant to be.