#i need to chew on him grrrr

[koipudding]

being with kaiser means having to dissect your own heart while stitching up his.

chewing on him jn the tags and etc. don’t mind me

he’d be pretty mean at first. he’s gauging your reactions; would you run if you saw everything that haunted him? how he haunts himself? Kaiser does nothing but spit and snarl at you, like a stray cat that’s only been kicked to the curb.

but you don’t leave him alone. not like every other one-night stand he’s had—no, you’ve made him breakfast—a traditional german faire—and brushed and put oil in his hair (his favorite scent too; you tell him it’s been your favorite for a few years. something in him softens).

It’s so domestic he almost vomits after that, but on his first night away from your apartment, he can’t sleep. Practice is shit and he’s not performing well, to the point where he initiates a facetime call (kaiser hates initiating. it feels like begging for your attention, when yours should be solely on him anyway.) and you pick up instantly.

the time difference makes something shatter in him. You’re just waking up… hair messy and eyes bleary. You can hardly speak or hold up the phone…

“Mihya…? You okay?” you’re slumped in bed, wearing his sweater. He might combust (when did Michael become so attached to you? He doesn’t know, but he whispers your name like a prayer, like you’re his guiding light).

“I’m better now, dear. Let me tell you what that idiot of a striker did at practice—“ he rambled on, and watches you nod along. You him and agree with him, and a weight falls off of his shoulders. Kaiser can love you. Perhaps he already does…

[clowntown-usa]

i think about these a lot so i am sharing them here hi. actor guy but as a furry. so that i could make my cringe fursona stare at him too

[yns-world]

How They Are During Sex/Favorite Positions

Pairings: Francis Crozier x Reader, John Franklin x Reader, James Fitzjames x Reader, Henry Goodsir x Reader

Warnings: nsft, silly stuff, mentions of k*nks

a/n: gender neutral reader!!!

clearly i’m the only person carrying the terror (both the show and the ship) from death. no one writes fanfics for the REAL hoes (us, the readers). but dw. god put me on the terror so the true, grimy mfs can finally be unleashed and be free 🗣️‼️send in any requests you have for the terror while they're still in my grasp 😼 i love gnawing on these men like my own personal chew toys GRRRR BARK BARK 🐕

Francis Crozier: 

Cowgirl. 

Old man doesn’t have much energy in him, we know this.

At first he’ll have his hands on your hips as you ride him, but within a few minutes his head is thrown back, eyes shut as he lets out strings of curses.

If Francis is drunk and had a particularly hard day, he would be inebriated and inclined enough to use you as a urinal--whether that’s in your mouth or on your body, is up to you. He’s probably too drunk to notice, but he’s aware enough to get hard and want to stick it in you. 

Might dabble in the whole Daddy kink, but you’ll be the one bringing it up to him--or rather, it might’ve slipped out when you were drunk on him one night. It invigorates him, makes him feel like he’s finally in charge of something. He won’t pound into you, but his grip on your skin would be tighter, he would probably grunt in your ear and praise you like an actual father would. sobs

Old man knocks out after he comes. After care is him lying heavy on your body as he’s fast asleep. When he wakes up--possibly in horror and excitement--he’ll rush to clean up and prepare a sweet breakfast filled with bashful apologies for his behavior the night before behavior that will repeat.

John Franklin:

Religious man. But what a fucking freak.

I don’t need to tell you that he’s into that Daddy shit. Ofc he is.

Really into roleplay too. Some nights, you’ll pretend to be the demon that corrupts the Virtuous Saint™ that he is, other nights he’ll be your priest “cleansing” you of your sins.

Depending on the roleplay, you might end up on top of him, beneath him, or on your knees.

John usually ends the night in missionary, he wants to watch your eyes overcome with your own lust, how your face screws as you come around his own cock, the way your chest exhales its last breath as you fall completely still. 

A sweet kiss on your forehead--”You’re so good to me.”

James Fitzjames:

A Fucking Freak™.

He’s in his physical prime, of course he’s getting freaky with you.

Angry sex, yearning sex, passionate sex, quickies; whatever he can have he’ll take, and then he’ll beg for some more. 

His best ideas actually come from his time shared with you--unfortunately for you, as his mind snaps from passion and comes to the fruition of something that would save the crew, but you can’t be mad at him for too long.

Every position is his favorite position. In the beginning, he won’t care for the sentimentality of it since you both were chasing after a release, but as the relationship progresses and the meetings become frequent, he might opt for a sweet night instead of the usual 5-minute quickie. 

He likes you, like, like like, but he bites his tongue and bates his breath waiting for the moment to let you know when you both finally make it to the other side of this thing. He doesn’t want to confess and leave you haunted with the love of a dead man. He doesn’t know that you’d rather wrap yourself in the warmth of a past confession than agonize over what could’ve been.

Henry Goodsir:

Sex to him is a very sacred and intimate act--more emotional to him than anyone else. His heart is a melting pot, everything you do makes his head spin. It would be a while before the two of you ever see each other naked. But when you finally reach that point…oh brother, get ready for those love letters 🙄 /lh

You probably are his first. Most likely his last. I don’t think he’ll ever get over you, especially not if you reciprocated the intensity and fullness of his love. He is permanently marked by you, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

I don’t think any man could ever love you the way Henry loves you. No one will ever love you the way he does--both a comfort, and a tragedy. 

Missionary. Always. He just wants to look in your eyes--both as a reassurance that you want this, but also as a confirmation that you do actually love him, that your connection is real and not some made-up fantasy in his mind used to cope.

You will forever be a work of art to him. He handles you with such care and warmth--he won’t treat you like a fragile piece of glass, but rather an oil painting as he grazes his fingers across your skin, picking up on the traces of paint left on the tips of his fingers.

Flesh pressed against flesh, he wants nothing more than to entangle himself with you-- to merge his body into yours, to be a piece of you forever, but doesn’t want to seem as “too much”, so he keeps these thoughts to himself and in his journal.

a/n: i hope you enjoyed! if you did, please consider reblogging since it helps my account! :)

DON'T BE A GHOST READER!!!! i would love to hear your thoughts and opinions, and comments are what keep writers going <3

[alexluvsskittlez]

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH GRRRR I NEED TO HOLD HIM I NEED TO CHEW ON HIM GRRRGAGGAGAGHHHSGAHHH IM GOING FERAL SHSISGWISYWKZGSOSYS92393529W5>@%$(#_#(#&#*'&DIFJXODHJDXJ AUGGGHHH HES SO CUTE I NEED HIM SO BAD I NEDD TO GET HIM PREGNANT AUGGH3G3H3HJZHZNBSNSGWhat was the moment? It's hard to say

I'm sure I don't remember anyway

Before I only knew to hesitate

Pin back in the grenade

And all the ways I'd keep you safe

I keep you safe from me

And, oh my love, I lied to you

But I never needed to

Oh my love, I lied to you

But you always knew the truth

I got too good at fighting chemicals

And dodging arrows I was asking for

Wading through the fog and then it disappeared

Naked when I'm here

And why should I deny what's all at once so crystal clear?

And, oh my love, I lied to you

But I never needed to

Oh my love, I lied to you

But you always knew the truth

Love is not an easy thing to admit

But I'm not ashamed of it

Love is not a weakening

If you feel it rushing in

Don't be ashamed of it

Love is not an easy thing to admit

But I'm not ashamed of it

Love is not a weakening

If you feel it rushing in

Don't be ashamed of it

And, oh my love, I lied to you

But I never needed to

Oh my love, I lied to you

But you always knew the truth

And, oh my love, I lied to you

But I never needed to

Oh my love, I lied to you

But you always knew the truth

[mychlapci]

Episode Two - Darkness Rising, Part 2

Okay so Starscream establishes that the Decepticons have access to multiple energon mines, with the one shown at the beginning of the episode holding the most energon. He also calls one of the vehicons, drone, which implies that they’re not sentient beings. This would make sense since they’re canon fodder and mostly serve to flesh out the actual army that the Decepticons have since making a ton of unique character models would be expensive as fuck. 

However, we see in later episodes that the vehicons can speak, a feature I find odd if they’re just meant to be mindless drones following order. This brings up a whole bunch of horrifying implications since the Autobots regularly rip vehicons to pieces in battle. 

I’m gonna be 100% honest, I hate the dark energon plotline. Not only because it completely undermines Megatron as a leader and makes him look like a fucking idiot for just shoving it directly into his spark chamber, but also just because TFP is going to have soooo many plotlines down the road and out of all of them, dark energon will just continue to stick out like a sore thumb. 

I do appreciate that Ratchet is just a hater. Like he just wants to leave and 100% respect him. So far he’s the only character to have actually funny lines. 

God I forgot how ugly Fowler’s model is. Like the other humans look okay, but they did him dirty. 

“BULKHEAD I NEEDED THAT!” 

Optimus for the love of god put your mask back on. Please man you actually look hot that way.

“Pretty big bearings, for a human.” What did he mean by this? Bulkhead what did you mean by that?

Starscream will continue to be the only right person in this show. Like it will literally be Megatron’s fault that they loose their biggest energon mine because he decided to reactivate Cliffjumper’s corpse in the middle of it. And then, when things start going south, he’ll just order Starscream to blow up the entirety of the mine instead of trying to save it. Like TFP Megatron is a terrible fucking leader and from what we’re told, Starscream was actually doing a pretty damn good job of collecting energon considering in the three years that Megatron was gone, no one even once noticed the cons and their mining operations. 

Basically TFP Megatron is a terrible leader and IMO the show would’ve been 10000% more interesting if they actually let Starscream be a competent individual instead of just turning him into Megatron’s chew toy. 

Grrrr. Listen Miko, girl, I think you’re fine and all but good lord read the goddamn room. Every single one of the robots are talking about their friend, who has been presumed dead and you’re asking about the fight? I don’t think I would actually mind this behaviour if Miko actually had other things going on with her character. Like we hear about her host family a lot but not once do we actually see them. Perhaps her extreme thrill seeking behaviour is a result of being shipped off to nowhere Nevada by her family back home, or maybe her host family ignores her and she resorts to getting into danger as a method of acting out. 

Still sticking with my opinion that TFP Optimus is built like an uppercase T. He’s gonna fucking fall over he’s so top heavy. 

God the size shifting in this show is insane. Like Arcee is like 3x the size of her actual altmode. 

I really wish Jack wouldn’t compare his fucking girl problems to Arcee’s partner literally dying. Those two things are not even remotely comparable in terms of emotional damage. Also it just makes him sound really fucking childish and petty that she has the audacity to be angry and annoyed about being forced to babysit some human teenager. Maybe they could’ve had Jack say “I know what’s it’s like to loose someone too Arcee…” Instead of just making him complain about girl trouble. That also would set up a potential plotline involving his absent father. Maybe he died?

It’s really funny that June didn’t see Arcee in the garage despite the fact that she’s literally in the driveway when Arcee reacts to her pulling up. Like there is zero way that she didn’t see the massive robot sitting in her garage. 

WHY DO THEY KEEP SETTING UP WEIRD ROMANTIC NOTES WITH JACK AND ARCEE?! HE’S SIXTEEN FOR FUCKS SAKE. 

ONCE AGAIN COMPLETELY UNDERMINING MEGATRON AS A EVEN REMOTELY COMPETENT LEADER BY MAKING HIM SHOVE AN UNKNOWN SUBSTANCE INTO HIS SPARK CHAMBER!!!! 

Other Notes

They should’ve put Megatron down. 

Episode Three - Darkness Rising, Part 3

Okay the little gesture Miko does when she pats Bulkhead’s interior and then puts her hands in her lap is so fucking cute. Bulkhead and Miko dynamic my beloved <3

At this point you could replace Soundwave with a piece of cardboard and literally nothing would change. Like… he just stands there, repeating other people’s voice lines. What even is the point of him? 

5:22’s Transforming scene between Arcee, Bumblebee, and Bulkhead really demonstrates how big the bots are and how fucking ridiculous their altmodes really are.

Ratchet should be allowed to kill I think. 

Okay Optimus says ‘Late in the war’ when referring to the energon deposites on Earth but like… it had to have happened before humans became a fully fledge civilization creating species, because Ratchet seems confused about Earth being a potential battlefield. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE TIMELINE MAN?????

I will never forgive what they did to Laserbeak. Like what the fuck is that ugly ass thing? Also adds to the continued problem in TF media where the cassettes don’t get to be actual characters and are instead just tools to be used by Soundwave. At the very least if they actually gave Soundwave a proper personality we might’ve been able to glean information about Laserbeak. Or hey maybe an inverse where Laserbeak acts as Soundwave’s voice, speaking for him in front of other characters. That would’ve given both of them an interesting dynamic. 

OH AND THE FACT THAT LASERBEAK IS ALSO AROUND THE SIZE OF A GODDAMN HELICOPTER???? LIKE WHAT THE FUCK???? That cannot possibly be right. And Laserbeak has tentacles… yeah okay fucking whatever I guess. 

Gah I don’t like the Agent Fowler kidnapping plotline. It feels out of place when the focus should really be on Optimus and Ratchet trying to stop Megatron. I think it would’ve been better suited for it’s own episode outside of the five pilot episodes. 

“About five years ago, the government started microchipping their agents.” As an American, yeah that is something my government would do. 

Y’know what, I think I would’ve been 100% okay with Miko throwing herself headlong into danger if she actually got a character arc where she realised how fucking dangerous and stupid of a decision that is. Like obviously TFP isn’t actually going to injure their child protagonists, but like… the show also wants me to be worried about the kids getting injured when they end up in situations and it falls flat when the Cybertronians are constantly telling Miko not to do stupid shit and then she never really learns her lesson, despite it nearly getting her and her friends killed on several occasions. 

Honestly if they’d just moved Fowler getting kidnapped to being it’s own episode, we probably could’ve cut down Darkness Rising to four parts instead of five. 

I think the showrunners should’ve allowed Ratchet to fucking maul Megatron right out the gate. It would’ve been funny and would’ve put Megatron out of commission way earlier. 

Episode Four - Darkness Rising, Part 4

I enjoy the little detail that you don’t actually see Miko getting out of Bulkhead when Raf and Jack do. 

Once again good lord I hope the vehicons aren’t sentient. Because otherwise Bulkhead is just killing so many people. 

Bulkhead’s voice actor nailed that MIKO?! perfectly. 

HOW THE FUCK DID MIKO JUST SLIDE ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE THAT? HUMANS DO NOT HAVE THAT LEVEL OF TRACTION. 

Y’know for as much as the fandom and the show love to hype up Soundwave as this guy who can see everything on the Nemesis and knows exactly what is going on at all times, he’s sure doing a pretty shit job of noticing three autobots breaking into the ship with their human companions. 

ONCE AGAIN I REALLY HOPE THAT THE VEHICONS AREN’T SENTIENT BECAUSE OTHERWISE THE AUTOBOTS ARE GOING TO BE SO HYPOCRITICAL WHEN THEY SAY THEY CARE ABOUT ALL LIFE. 

Why did they animate Raf putting the backpack on? Literally why did he do that instead of just running with the backpack in his hand? 

Y’know what, shoutout to Jack for having the most normal reaction to being put in a life threatening situation. Miko is acting far too chill about all of this and I think it’s really weird how they keep having characters tell her that she could keep dying and then the dialogue serves no purpose because she just turns around and goes ‘Well I almost died too.’ Like girl that is not helping your case. Your actions nearly got yourself and a twelve year old killed. Again this wouldn’t be a problem if Miko actually learned a minor lesson about throwing herself headlong into danger. But she doesn’t learn. 

She can still be weird girl extraordinar who loves robots and Bulkhead and metal music and thrill seeking without putting her friends in harm’s way. Like that is perfectly feasible!

LMFAO RATCHET IS SO FUCKING READY TO BE DONE WITH THEM. God he truly is the funniest part of this show so far. 

Ugh… yay the first of many Starscream beatings. It is kinda funny how he sounds like he’s being choked but Megatron’s foot isn’t anywhere near his throat. 

Okay Miko, your speech is falling on deaf years because you did actually almost get people killed. Like… girl… you did almost die and I don’t think saying ‘Oh well I went to the best school and had a loving family but I was stifled and didn’t get to be as weird as I wanted to be which is exactly why you should come back to hang out in a place that is liable to get you killed with me.’ will the change the fact that the guy you’re trying to convince nearly died. 

Other Notes

Honestly, as much as I was ragging on Miko for the last couple of paragraphs, I do not actually hate her. I actually enjoy her moments with Bulkhead and the rest of the human cast in the base quite a bit. What I hate is how the show really wants you to think it’s super dark and gritty and oh my god the characters are at risk of getting injured and dying and then one of the main characters literally runs headlong into danger, nearly gets her friends killed, and then refuses to really sit down and understand why exactly her behaviour is dangerous for everyone around her. 

Like genuinely, think about it, what happens if Miko gets injured? Her host family all of a sudden have to deal with the fact that a child they’re legally responsible for has been hurt and then they have to explain that fact to her actual parents. Then the Cybertronians will be liable for Miko’s injuries as well. Like her actions could have genuine consequences for so many other people than just Jack and Raf and if the show actually decided to commit to the fact that she could get hurt, we might have actually had an interesting plot line on our hands. But no, Miko will continue to throw herself into danger because ‘Oh the big robots are so cool and even though they’re literally in a war that’s actually causing them physical and emotional harm, i’m going to continue to talk about it like it’s a video game.’

God girl… I wish you were written better. 

Episode Five - Darkness Rising, Part 5

Why does Megatron keep hating on Starscream, he’s literally just standing there 90% of the time. He hasn’t even done anything wrong in the five episodes he’s existed. 

I think it’s really funny that Soundwave has to be at the radio array in person to deal with the goal of getting the space bridge to turn towards Cybertron. And also that scene is so funny because he’s just hunched over, tentacles sucking away at a random console, not even in any of the ports, just latched onto the box itself. What is he even doing? How do those tentacles even work in terms of extracting data? 

Literally the very next scene shows Soundwave flipping through the cameras remotely so why does he even need the tentacles? And also what the fuck was he doing in the last episode when the autobots were breaking Fowler out of the brig, was he just taking a nap, or does he not have access to the Nemesis’ camera system?

I wish Megatron would’ve stayed dead. The maybe Starscream could be an actual character instead of a punching bag. 

RATCHET WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE? TREAT HER DAMMIT?!

Other Notes

Okay so despite my less than stellar reviews so far, I would actually rate the Darkness Rising Arc with a solid 6.5/10. Like they're not bad episodes, especially not as a set of opening episodes to get people hooked on the show. I merely have the benefit of having watched the show before and am therefore able to make judgements based off of preexisting knowledge.

------

alright and here is part two of my tfp watch through! another person recommended that i watch the rest of the darkness rising episodes since they're very much meant to be viewed sequentially in a single sitting. i technically watched eight episodes since i do an initial watch through and then a second watch through where i take notes.

-burnt ice anon

scrolling through this wall of text going Hey what the hell Until i realized we just passed a friday, and we’re reviewing tfp every friday now.

I’ll be completely honest with you right off the bat I will have to disagree, I fuckin love tfp Megatron I think he’s so funny. I have zero notes, his dark energon plotline is also funny to me. I get where you’re coming from about his character and role, but I guess but I love a good crazy bitch. He’s a hater after my own heart. 

one thing i guess i just have to dedicate an entire paragraph to is the Jack comparing his girl problems to Arcee’s loss because I also always thought it was weird, but upon rewatch I realized that… he doesn’t? Like if I’m not mistaken, he’s referring to Arcee as his girl problems. Which is, admittedly, still kinda rude, but it makes more sense, considering that she (albeit by accident and unwillingly) dragged him into mortal danger. Sorry, I just thought that was interesting. 

as for Miko… I always have to defend her. She’s fourteen, lacks self-preservation skills, and is insensitive at times because her excitement gets her faster than social norms do. She’s got a brand of adhd i sure know well. She IS however out of place with her excitement, considering how like, gritty and real tfp is trying to be, she would actually fit much better in a more lighthearted tf show. The writers never seemed to know where to take her, always keeping whether she’s learnt her lesson semi-ambiguous just in case they have to find an easy reason for the bots to be at a specific place or do a specific thing. But to be completely honest I never had any desire to see Miko learn her lesson. Also, people do need to cut her some slack, all she really wants to do is watch Transformers, something we get to do on tv, but she has to sneak through ground bridges and stuff to get a tiny piece of action. Sorry, this turned into a Miko appreciation paragraph. i can’t help myself.

[crazylittlejester]

Okay so this might be vague and specific BUT BUT BUT HEAR ME OUT

i read a fic a while ago (cant remember the name and can’t find it) where they headcanoned that Four’s dad from the fs manga is warriors and i have latched onto the idea so much GRRRR like the only reasoning i remember is that in the manga four’s dad is a knight and has a big ass distracting scarf and yes yes yes i need him to be four’s dad for real i don’t think the mother or other parent was mentioned 🤷‍♂️ like not at all

but i’m pretty sure in the fic it was not hyrule warriors zelda BUT since i kind of ship hyrule warriors link and zelda i’ve started headcanoning four to be hyrule warriors link and zelda’s child and four and dot to be twins mwah my beloved

idk how this works with ~OOOOHHHH~ the hero’s spirit ooooohhh but since i kind of headcanon wars not to really have the spirit (he’s not canon) that’s how i’m getting around that where wars and four exist in the same time and are both heroes

Thank you for letting me rant GRRRR i want to grab wars with my teeth and shake him around like a chew toy

OOOOH thats really interesting!! Four and Dot being twins is really cute, to me they’re definitely childhood besties so siblings isn’t really too far of a stretch, I don’t really ship those two (though I’m not against people who do! I’m just weird and theres a very small list of Links i ship with their Zeldas)

Wars would be such an amazing dad, he’s such a Girl Dad to me (which is a crack fic idea i’ve had and been working on for a while now), the idea that he’s Four’s dad would be insane when the whole group meets up and Four’s just like “…DAD?”

You’re always welcome to rant about headcanons in my asks 🫶 (and you’re so real for that, I want to squeeze Wars like a rubber chicken)

[vampcubus]

I just barely made him but his is Cain and I was talking to Desikins about him and how he was inspired by an asmr video she sent me while I was talking about a song with her and then I wrte dialogue and she suggested a cute nickname he'd call his darling because I could picture unhinged romance with a terrified reader because he had just freshly murdered some and and and- ASHI I'M LOSING IT THIS MAN IS BRUTAL BUT MELTS FOR HIS PRETTY SWEETLING/ANGEL/DARLING/WHATEVER PET NAME TUMBLES OUT OF HIS LIPS I'M GOING FERAL

I used a picrew to make him and I love him so muuuch he's so fun to try and figure out because he's got only one or two traits and I'm trying to mold the rest as I go

HE’S SO CUTEEEE GRRRR. i need to chew on him and shake him around in my mouth like a dog toy. this might be weird to say (<- has said far weirder things) but i like his facial scars! 💕

[skyspats]

sky! i got high af and wrote an essay about jayroy and looking back at it made me think of you! hope you’re doing well 🧡

common tragedy enjoyer moment. i kinda went off.

WAHHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH

common tragedy enjoyer is sooooo true like half of jayroys appeal is how theres pain when theyre apart AND when theyre together. i totally second that i dont want to see them in an actual relationship because the messiness they have is just so entertaining and heartbreaking. like i know us jayroy enjoyers™️ all love the "i dont need drugs. ive got you" line but it perfectly encapsulates jasons side of the dynamic: bro is straight addicted to roy and like you said, him being in roys life also damages it. and roy! he and jason are so similar in the way they care too much but where jason has his stubbornness toward change, roy has his toward accepting that jason wont change. hes an engineer, he sees all the components of a machine and how they work together and he can take it apart with his bare hands and put it back together in a way that has it working better than ever- but jason isnt a machine he can fix, no matter how much either of them wishes he was. theyre just so GRRRR THEY MAKE ME CRAZY

thank you for sharing your jayroy essay and reminding me how they make me want to chew off my own arm 🙏🫶🫶 i hope youre doing well too! 🩵

[arabaka-archived]

chewing on mark as we speak

-sculpture anon

SERIOUSLY!!! i'm only on ep 3 or 4? and my attention span has been so bad with this season but like. i need to also chew on him like bubblegum. call it oral sensory seeking.

grrr it's made even more unfair that STEVEN YEUN VOICES HIM grrrr

[theadventuresofgarlandodra]

The Adventures of Garl and Odra Manyboots- A Stolen Grave

Prev.

“Hey, Garl! It’s a mini-you!”

Odra pulled faces at the small statuette. “Grrrr, I’m a big, mean, emotionally constipated gargoyle with a stupid ass name,” she teased.

Garl sighed. “Hilarious. That one looks like you. Ugly enough at least,” he said, pointing at another hideous statue.

Odra gasped in mock offense. “Bitch, I’m beautiful. There is not a sculptor skilled enough to capture my face to stone.”

“Are you two going to buy something or am I going to have to ask you to leave my store?”

Odra rolled her eyes before looking up at the cranky craftsman. “I’m deciding! Honestly, does a blanket on a ground and some really ugly statues count as a store?”

The craftsman scowled. “These creations of mine are not ‘ugly’, they are defenders of the home! Now buy one or leave!”

Garl rolled his eyes too before looking down at one of the pitiful little statues. “You’re an embarrassment,” he whispered to one of the still gargoyles before he picked Odra up and placed her on his shoulder. “Come on, Odra. Dullahan asked us to get him some herbs, and that vendor’s only here in the morning.”

Odra propped her head up on Garl’s. “Fiiiiine. Can we stop at that one preserves vendor too? They told me last time they were making a new batch of radish pickles and I have to get some.”

“As long as you buy it with your own gold and you’re not up all night farting, I don’t care.”

“I’m so over your fucking shit.”

“I have to share a room with you. I’m the one who’s over your shit. It’s bad enough you only bathe once a month, I don’t want to deal with you ripping ass.”

Unluckily for Garl, Odra bought two jars of radish pickles along with dried meat covered with spices he’d never even heard about before. Apparently, if it didn’t hurt her, it wasn’t spicy enough. But those herbs Dullahan needed were thankfully in a large supply.

“Why are you Dullahan’s errand boy anyway?” Odra asked on the way back as she loudly chewed on her jerky.

“If you keep chewing in my ear, I’m going to rip your tongue out and stuff it down your throat. And I did it because he’ll… owe me a… favor…”

Odra frowned as Garl trailed off and came to a dead halt. “Garl? You okay?” She followed his line of site to see he was looking at the gargoyle vendor. “Garl?”

Garl didn’t say anything. He just stared as the vendor showed off an impressively sized statue to some clearly well off clientele. It was much better than anything else he’d had to sell, it almost looked real with how it was crouched, its head bowed over its knees. Any second it looked it could jump up and attack.

“Wow, why didn’t he have that out earlier?” Odra whistled. “It almost looks real-”

“Odra. Be quiet for a few minutes. Please.”

Odra never shut her mouth so quickly. It was one thing when Garl casually threatened to horribly murder her, but when he said ‘please’ it was time to shut the fuck up and listen to him. Garl slowly approached the back of the crowd.

“-how did you make such a beautiful piece?” one of the ladies cooed, reaching to touch the life sized gargoyle on the face. Garl noticeably flinched and Odra frowned. Was he upset?

No. There was something too calm about him. Like the time this bandit called Odra Garl’s little sex doll and had made nonstop innuendo about how female goblins were down for anything.

Garl was enraged.

“Well, what can I say, when you’ve been carving for so long, you can really bring some of this stone to life,” the vendor chuckled, puffing himself up. “This is my masterpiece. But for you my dear, I’ll let you purchase my art for… how does three thousand gold sound?”

Before the woman could respond, another of the wealthy men butted in with, “I’ll pay five thousand! It’s exquisite!”

Garl remained still as the two rich fucks bid between each other. Finally the woman won with a final bid of fifteen thousand gold. She promised to come tomorrow with a cart to pick it up, and the group dissipated. Garl walked off as well, and Odra finally got the guts to talk again.

“Garl? What’s wrong?”

“… it was a real one, Odra.”

Garl’s voice was low but level. Odra gulped. “A… real one?”

“A real gargoyle. Like me.”

“Why… why wasn’t it-”

“It was dead.”

Garl randomly veered into an alley and Odra leaped off his shoulders. Just in time too, Garl roared and slammed his fist into a wall, putting his hand right through brick. Odra shook as Garl took several deep breaths and withdrew his fist.

“You don’t… you don’t mess with a grave like that. Especially not a gargoyle’s.” His head was bowed but Odra could see how his eyes were flickering brighter than she’d ever seen them. “Our graves are sacred. You know how rare it is for a gargoyle to die of old age? And he had to have, there’s no chips, no breakage. His grave would be venerated. Moving him… moving him is… I wanted to rip that bastard’s arms off and make him choke on them.”

Odra gulped before slowly approaching Garl, resting one of her hands on his leg. When he didn’t bat her away, she softly patted him. “Why didn’t you?” she asked.

“… Because he needs to tell me where the hell he stole that gargoyle so I can put him back.”

Garl took a deep breath before he scooped Odra up, ruffling her ears before putting her back on his shoulders. “I’m gonna need some back up. You in?”

Odra grinned.

“Please. You really have to ask?”

Garl smiled coldly before walking out of the alley.

“Good.”

He was quiet the rest of the way to the guild. Once they got in though, he veered right over to Dullahan’s table, where the human was currently hacking and coughing like he had something caught in his throat.

“Dullahan-”

Dullahan lifted a finger, and with one final gag he spat out what looked like a small stone. “… I’ve coughed up bigger, but it’ll do,” he gasped. He picked up the stone, wiped some bile and saliva off of it and put it in his healing pouch.

Odra hopped off of Garl and onto the table. “What the fuck was that?”

“Bezoar.”

“You just- make those? What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“It’s a gift.” Dullahan shrugged. “They make great poison cures.”

Garl slammed the herbs down on the table. Dullahan blinked owlishly at the bag. “… You know, you should be more gentle. People are going to talk about what we have,” he said as he picked up his cup of tea and took a slow sip.

“Remember how you said you’d ‘owe me’ if I ran to the vendor to get these for you?”

Dullahan paused before slowly lowering his mug. “I remember. What’s on your mind, my stonehearted friend?” he asked.

“I need your help to steal a body.”

“… Wow. Okay then. In.”

~*~

It was late in the night when that cart vendor weaved his way out of the tavern, with a lovely half orc courtesan on his arm. No more lonely nights for him, with the money he was about to make off of that stupid statue he found.

It was only when the half orc turned the corner into an alley where that gargoyle from earlier was waiting for him did he get an inkling he may have fucked up.

“This the guy, Garl?” Besh asked, gesturing at the drunk vendor with her thumb.

Garl nodded. “Thank you. I’ll pay you next time I find myself in Fit For Kings,” he said.

Besh winked before shoving the vendor into the wall and strutting out of the alley. The vendor scrambled to his feet but when he turned back to the mouth of the alley, Sylvia and Odra were already blocking his path. Turning back forward, he was face to chest to Garl, who spread his wings menacingly.

“You know, my kind don’t make great long distance fliers.”

Garl grabbed the vendor by the shoulders, digging his fingers into his shoulders with a manic expression. “But I can definitely lift you high enough in the air to drop you on your head, crack your skull like a fucking egg on the pavement,” he growled.

“Wha- let me go! Do you know who you’re messing with!? Guar-”

Before the vendor could call for the guards, Dullahan slapped a hand over his mouth. “Shhhhhh… don’t speak. Garl, that’ll kill him too quickly. Get him on the ground. I have an idea. By the way, scream, and he’ll probably just take your head off. Make all of this worth his trouble.”

Garl pinned the vendor down while Dullahan dug through his bag. “Let’s see… no, not that one… not that one… oh, here we go!” he pulled a leaf out of his pocket and crammed it down the vendor’s throat. The vendor coughed and gagged but he swallowed it.

“What was that?!”

“Poison!” Dullahan proudly declared. “You have a few minutes before it kicks in. You’ll feel some nausea, followed by every muscle in your body going really tense as you seize up. You’ll probably- no, you’ll definitely piss your pants. You’ll start hallucinating while your heart beats out of control. You’ll be in probably the worst pain of your life and you can’t even scream because your muscles are all contracting. Then your limbs will start to harden, your blood will turn to poison, aaaand you’ll die a slow, painful death. Once the pissing happens, I can’t help you. You’re past the point of no return. So, how about you tell Garl whatever he needs to know, and if I think you’re lying, I’ll just let him stuff you in the garbage bin to be dumped outside the city tomorrow.”

“What is it?!” The vendor sobbed. “What do you want to know?!”

Garl grabbed the vendor by the chin. “Tell me. Where. You. Got. The. Gargoyle. Body.”

“What?”

“The statue that was way too good for you to have carved? Yeah, that’s because it’s a body.” Garl’s fingers started ripping into his chin. “Where did you get it?”

The vendor sobbed. “I- I found it! I found it in the Underdark, the domain that currently is under the rule of the Great Queen Rillana! Please don’t let me die!”

Dullahan glanced up at Garl. “You know the Underdark very well, Garl?” he asked.

“Well enough. You going to cure him?”

“I mean, I’ve never seen all the effects of that herb, I kinda wanna watch…”

The vendor bawled.

“Okay, fine. Open up. I made this one fresh today!”

Dullahan popped a bezoar out of his pocket and forced it down the vendor’s throat. Odra shuddered and turned away.

“Okay, that’s nasty.”

Sylvia cocked an eyebrow. “… I’ve seen you eat a squirrel off the side of the path that had been dead no less than a week and had been squished by multiple carts. And that’s too much for you?”

“It is! He puked it up! Ewww!”

Garl hauled the blubbering vendor to his feet. “All right, now all you have to do is give me that gargoyle, and I’ll leave you be to sell your shitty statues. You tell anyone about what’s happened though, and I’ll not only have my friend here give you another one of those herbs, I’m going to cut off your legs and let you dangle off a rooftop while you die from the poison. Got it?”

The vendor nodded frantically.

“Good. Hope you didn’t blow through all that gold, because I’m pretty sure your customer’s going to be disappointed they can’t add a dead body to their collection.”

~*~

“… Dullahan, are you still-”

“You called me a friiieeennnd…”

“Oh my gods.”

Odra stared at the still gargoyle grave, seemingly lost in thought. She rested a hand gently on its side. “So, we take it back?” she questioned.

Garl looked away from the dramatic Dullahan. “I have to. You don’t disturb a gravesite, Odra. It’s wrong,” he said.

Odra laughed quietly before patting the grave gargoyle and hopping back onto Garl’s back. “Well, you can’t get rid of me that easily, Garl. You have a horrible sense of direction, you’re so going to get lost in the Underdark.”

Garl sighed but gave Odra an affectionate pat. “Keep telling yourself that, brat,” he said.

Dullahan scooted up next to Garl. “Are any of your other ‘friends’ invited on this journey?” he asked.

“I swear to every god masked and unmasked, Dullahan, I will kill you.”

Next

[desiraypark]

Stuck in the Mud

Characters: (Late) 60s!AdamSackler x Joyce (Black/Female OC) x Baby 

Content: New parent blues. Growing pains. Woodstock ‘69.  Y’all know what this picture does to me. 

August 15, 1969

“This is such fucking bullshit...” Adam mumbled. He pounded his fist against the steering wheel. “This is SUCH fucking bullshit!”

Her shirt lifted so that air could hit her belly, Joyce held her hand out the passenger window, letting the smothering air float through her fingers. All afternoon, she listened to Adam complain about everything. While everyone abandoned their cars to join the chaotic fun, Adam and Joyce sat in their borrowed car, bickering like the married couple they were. 

“Look at those fucking idiots still jumping the barricade. The festival is shit, just walk through. Fuckin’ assholes...”

Joyce released an exasperated sigh.

“Say it,” Adam said. “Fuckin’ say it.”

“Say what?”

“Say what’s on your mind.”

“There’s nothing on my mind, Adam.”

Adam scoffed and chewed his lip. “I hate when you fuckin’ do that.”

“Hate when I do what, Adam?”

“Pretend like you’re not mad about shit and then call me by name after every fucking sentence.”

“You know what I am about to get mad about?” Joyce asked.

“What?”

“You fuckin’ cursing at me like I fuckin’ did something to you!”

“I’m not fuckin’ cursing at you!” Adam argued.

“Yes, you fuckin’ are!”

“I’m fuckin’ NOT!!!”

Joyce rolled her eyes and reached behind Adam’s seat. She lifted the lid of the Thermaster cooler and pulled out a sandwich. “You want your sandwich?”

“No.”

Joyce huffed and pulled out a sandwich, a bottle opener, and a bottle of 7Up. First, she opened the soda and took a sip. Then, she pulled the foil away from a lake trout sandwich she’d made the night before. 

“Is that fucking fish?” Adam asked, face contorted.

“Yes, Adam. Yes, it’s fucking fish. You watched my fry the fucking fish last night.”

“I can’t take Ray’s car back smelling like fish!”

Joyce chewed on the inside of her mouth. Then, she grabbed the door handle and climbed out of the car with her food and drink in hand. Suddenly, she appeared in front of the car, and Adam watched her walk down the road. 

“Joyce? Where the fuck are you going?” he called out of the window. Without turning around, Joyce stuck her middle finger up and continued down the road.

ONE MONTH EARLIER

Joyce unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment, contemplative. Adam followed her inside, holding a box of pizza. He kicked the door closed, and Joyce jumped as if a lightbulb had gone off in her head. She rushed to Boots’ bedroom and looked inside the crib. Yes, she did pack Teddy.

“You didn’t fuckin’ forget anything, Joyce!” Adam shouted from the kitchen.

Joyce sighed. “I know.”

Just as she’d turned around, Adam was gliding into the bedroom--a singular step of his equated to two of hers. She wrapped his arms around Joyce’s waist and pulled her close.

“We’re going to go into this kitchen, we’re going to eat this fucking pizza, then we’re going to fuck all night.”

Joyce laughed. “I know the itinerary, Adam.”

“The baby’s fine,” he said.

Joyce looked down, but Adam lifted her face by the chin. “Say it.”

“The baby’s fine,” Joyce repeated. 

“Your sister has two fucking kids, she knows what she’s doing.”

“I know, I know,” Joyce said. She pulled away from Adam’s grip and paced the bedroom. “But what if something happens? What if she gets sick? What if she eats something she’s allergic to and we don’t know she’s allergic to it?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Smalls,” Adam said. He took Joyce’s hand. “Come the fuck on before the food gets cold.”

Adam pulled Joyce through the living room and suddenly, the phone rang.

“Don’t answer it!” he said, tugging on her hand. Joyce pressed her nails into Adam’s wrist.

“Ah! Fuck!”

As she turned on her heels to grab the phone, he smacked her ass. 

“Hello?” Joyce answered. “Hey, Ma.”

Adam rolled his eyes and faked pain--hunching his shoulders and touching his chest.

“I’m doing alright, and you?” Joyce asked, biting down a smile. Adam fell to the floor slowly and dramatically. “Oh, that’s good to hear...”

Joyce covered her mouth as Adam stretched out on the floor, panting and panting until he let his head fall to the side. He closed his eyes and let his tongue hang out like roadkill. 

“We’re doing alright. Laurie is actually over at Jessica’s for the evening...just to give us a little time off...”

Adam opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. Suddenly, he lifted his hands and pressed his fingers against an invisible waist. 

“...well, Ma, I surely don’t want to drive from New York to Philly just to bring my newborn baby for a weekend, and I sure wouldn’t have you and Dad drive all the way up here for it...” Joyce said. Her eyebrows furrowed at the sight before her. 

“Uhhh...” Adam moaned. “Your pussy is still so tight...”

Joyce kicked the coffee table to get Adam’s attention, but he only chuckled. “Well, she’s still a newborn to me...”

Adam began to thrust in the air. “Fuckkkk...am I fucking you good baby?” He increased the pitch of his voice, imitating Joyce. “Yes, baby, yes!”

He lowered his pitch to imitate himself. “How good?”

“I can feel your dick in my belly!” he moaned, imitating Joyce again.

Joyce covered the phone’s mouthpiece and turned her back to Adam. “I don’t know, something weird on TV...well, how about this, how about you two come up here and stay for a weekend, some day?”

Suddenly, Joyce felt the sofa cushion dip behind her. Adam placed soft kisses against her shoulder--bare under the spaghetti straps of her striped tank-top.

“Well, look, Ma--me and Adam are about to eat dinner, I’ll call you back in about an hour?”

“You’ll call her back tomorrow,” Adam whispered. He cleared his throat and leaned over Joyce’s shoulder. “Hi, Mrs. Martin!”

“She said, “Hey, baby”,” Joyce said. She wiggled her shoulder to relieve herself of the pressure of Adam’s chin. “Alright, Ma. Love you. Tell Daddy I said “hey.””

Joyce hung up the phone, turned around, and poked Adam in the chest. “You’re disgusting!”

“Grrrr,” Adam growled. He leaned in to take nibbles at her neck, making her chuckle and squeal. Then, she waved him away.

Just as the two of them rose from the sofa, the phone rang again. 

“Don’t answer it!” Adam shouted.

“It could be Jessica!” Joyce exclaimed. She picked up the phone and Adam scoffed and walked toward the kitchen. “Hello? Hi, Ms. Fran!”

Adam flew out of the kitchen and shook his head from left to right. “Yes, he’s here.”

Adam’s fingers curled, forming the shape of an invisible neck between them. Joyce smiled and held out the phone to her husband. 

DAYS LATER

“You know that arts festival they’ve been talking about?” Adam asked, walking into the kitchen with Boots in his arm. True to her nickname, Laurie “Boots” Sackler began wiggling her toes and kicking her foot, anxious to prove to her parents that she didn’t need them to carry her around anymore. But Adam paid her no mind--he only pulled her closer. 

“Good evening,” Joyce said, flashing Adam a smile as she stirred sauce in a pot. 

Adam leaned in to kiss her on the lips. “Good evening. How was your day?”

“My day was fine. And yours?”

Adam sat at the kitchen table, moving Boots onto the opposite side of him as she tugged at his shirt. “It was great. You know that music festival they’ve been talking about? Music and art?”

“Nope,” Joyce responded. She turned off the stove burner. 

“Well, there’s this arts and music festival coming to White Lake next month...”

“I have no clue where White Lake is...” Joyce responded. She walked to the cupboard and pulled out two ceramic bowls.

“It’s further north. Well, anyway. I got us tickets.”

“Oh, okay. Sounds fun. When is it, what time?” Joyce asked unenthusiastically. “What kind of art, what kind of music?”

“Janis Joplin’s gonna be there. Santana. Creedence Clearwater. Sly and the Family Stone...”

Joyce whirled around with big, bright eyes. “Sly and the Family Stone? Why didn’t you just say that in the beginning?!”

Adam grinned. “Well, it’s a three-day festival...”

“When will Sly and ‘em be there?” Joyce asked, dumping penne noodles into one of the bowls. Then the second.

“The second day I think. But I wanted us to go for all three days...” Adam added carefully. 

Joyce shook her head “no” and placed the pot of strained noodles back on the stove. “I’m not leaving my baby for three days.”

“We can take her with us,” Adam suggested, placing a kiss on Boots’ forehead. 

Joyce sighed and looked at Adam. “How far away is White Lake?”

“Joyce...”

“Yes?” she responded.

Adam stood up and walked over to Joyce, towering over her and staring into her eyes. “Let me take care of everything. I want us to start having fuckin’ fun again.”

Joyce’s neck snapped backward. “We always have fun! What do you mean?”

“We don’t really go out anymore, babe,” Adam said. He paced the kitchen floor with the baby as Joyce finished making their bowls. “We’re still fucking young and we don’t do young shit anymore. 

Joyce carried the bowls of pasta to the table. “Do I make you feel old, Adam?”

Adam’s shoulders fell. “No, honey...it’s just...we got married and had a baby, and now we’re just...stuck. Doing the same shit over and over again. And this wasn’t us before. We were always doing some new, crazy shit...”

Boots grabbed her father’s hair--dark and full like hers. “Now, the craziest shit we do is eat pizza and watch fuckin’ Bonanza with our fuckin’ pants off.” Adam gently pulled Boots’ hand away. 

“I don’t know, Adam. Let me think about it. Okay?”

____________________

August 15, 1969 

“We’re not moving anymore,” a bearded man had shouted down the road with his arms up. He and three other people had climbed out of their car, and he walked the road to warn the people behind him. He paced back toward his own car. “We’re done. We’re stuck.”

People had parked on the side of the road and walked toward the festival. Not Adam. He parked the car and pouted like a child. Hotels and motels were booked, so Boots stayed home. There were no vacancies anywhere near the farm in White Lake. Or Bethel. “Wherever the fuck we are,” Adam had said.

It was hot and sticky--and there had long been calls for rain. The land was already muddy from previous rains. What was supposed to be a two-hour drive felt like an eternity--it seemed that everyone in New York City was headed to the same place at the very same time. This wasn’t what Adam had in mind. This was supposed to be fun--not a fucking headache.

“So, what are we gonna do? Just sit here?” Joyce asked. 

“We were supposed to have a motel room. We’re supposed to be out there with everybody else. We might as well be back in Brooklyn watching the fuckin’ show,” Adam complained. 

Joyce grabbed Adam’s face and kissed him on the lips. “We’re here now. Aren’t we?”

“Yeah, we’re fucking here.”

“Let’s see what all the fuss is about,” Joyce said.

Adam nodded. “Okay. But we’ve got tickets. We’re not gonna be assholes and jump the fuckin’ fences.”

“Okay, baby.” Adam and Joyce walked around for about thirty minutes before irritation took over again. The place was muddy and there was barely room to move. No shelter from the setting sun. They’d barely checked out the art vendors before they made their way back to the car. 

____________________

“Joyce!” Adam called from the window. He hopped out of the car and called down the road again. “Where the fuck are you going?!”

Joyce turned around and walked backwards. “Stop making a scene, Adam!”

Suddenly, the ground under Joyce disappeared. She fell backward--ass first into a pile of mud. 

“Oh, shit,” Adam mumbled. Festival attendees scattered about at their cars covered their chuckles, while others were prepared to step away and help Joyce up. But Adam made it in time. 

“Fucking, shit, Smalls,” he said. Joyce pouted at her lost sandwich and soda and took Adam’s hand. She was halfway up when Adam suddenly broke out into laughter. Unable to control himself, he accidentally let Joyce’s hand go, letting her fall back into the mud.

“Adam!” she cried. 

“Shit, I’m sorry!” 

Adam held out his hand again, but as Joyce grabbed it, she tugged hard to pull him down on the ground with her. Of course, “Smalls” wasn’t big or strong enough to pull him down, but he’d lost his footing and fell forward beside her. This time, making all the onlookers burst into joyous laughter. 

“That’s right, get him!” a woman shouted in the distance. 

“Good old payback!” another said with a laugh. 

Adam and Joyce sat up--two 30-something year-olds--giggling in a pile of mud. 

Hours Later

Adam and Joyce walked the festival grounds with muddy backsides for a couple of hours. They met new people, bought a few pieces of art and jewelry, then made their way back to their car before the expected rain came down. They placed a blanket along the front seat and sat inside with the windows partially rolled down. Rain poured from the clouds and Ravi Shankar’s sitar filled the country night air. 

“I’m sorry,” Adam said after a seemingly never-ending silence.  “I just wanted to do something for you. For us.”

“And I’m enjoying myself, Adam,” Joyce responded. “It’s not ideal. But we said we wanted to do something fun and crazy right?”

“Forty dollars to come to this shit and we can’t even enjoy it. We can’t even see who’s on stage. Smells like fuckin’ piss and balls all over the place. We’ve got mud all over our asses.”

“You’ve put worse things on my ass,” Joyce interrupted. She bit her lip, then released a chuckle. Adam laughed, too. 

“Fuck. Maybe we’re not as young as I thought,” he resigned. 

Joyce sighed and rested her head on Adam’s chest. “Or maybe we’re just comfortable around each other. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with watching Bonanza with no pants on.”

Adam laughed. “Maybe we can spice shit up and fuck on each other every time Hoss gets into a fuckin’ fight.”

“We can watch the show, but if Hoss gets into a bar fight, you have to take your dick out.”

“YES!” Adam agreed excitedly. “And you have to suck it.”

Joyce burst into laughter again. “Blowjobs for Hoss fights, pussy-eating for Little Joe fights.” 

“Fuckin’ deal,” Adam agreed. They laughed together once more, then fell into a comforting silence.

“I’ve got an idea...” Joyce said, breaking the serenity. 

“What?”

She turned Adam’s face toward hers by his chin and kissed him on the lips. Then, she let the tip of her finger trail down his chest. “Let’s do somethin’ crazy right now...”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah...”

“We can’t take Ray’s car back smelling like--”

“You’d better not say smelling like fish!”

Adam laughed. “No, you smell more like sweaty...”

“Don’t you fuckin’ finish that sentence,” Joyce said.

He laughed again--like a mischievous and troublesome kid. Joyce bit her lip and ran her hand along Adam’s thigh. He let his hand slide under her shirt and over her belly. Then, he pulled his hand away, and used both hands to unbutton her top.

[migeviellardi]

Out Of Comfort

Rottmnt Donnie Centric Fanfic

Genre : Adventure, Action, Humour, Hurt/Comfort

Summary :  Silver has gone to the part where he made Donnie involve in some slightly criminal-related work. Will Donnie regret his decision to ever trust him? Or will his life ends miserably knowing that he should’ve just headed home and not taking any part of Silver’s plan?

Chapter 4 Help Wanted

Run-on-the-mill Pizza place can be a good place to vent for some reason, he always felt better having to just sit down, ordering food, and let go of his thoughts away. The weight lifted off from his chest immensely or is it just that his wisp is his Gram-Gram, sitting on his shoulder to keep him company?

Donnie can’t help smile to see her there, she smiled every he looked at her. It gives him warmth, knowing that he wasn’t entirely alone. At least now he felt a lot better that he took joy to eat his pizza to satisfy his hunger. 

“Grrrr!!” Donnie jumped hearing a growl from the person sitting in front of him. The stranger who called himself Silver, glaring at his phone. His finger tapping hard on the screen. Donnie chewed away as he watched the men frustrated himself with his phone.

Silver gritted his teeth, “Stupid, son of a-” he screamed and threw away his phone. Donnie was surprised to see his phone flew away out of sight. Sia flew after the phone. Silver sighed while shaking his head, he chomps on the pizza he ordered.

“Is-is everything, okay?” Donnie asked.

“It’s not your concern, kid.” Sia flew back with the phone and put it in his hand. Silver saw the phone and frowned at Sia, who scolded him. Donnie saw the wisp flailing angrily at him. Silver shook in disbelief, putting the phone on the table.

Donnie stared at the object. It seems like it just got bought, looks all sleek and new with its black with blue stripes background.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Just some troubles, like many.” he chowed down the pizza, mozzarella cheese melted to his mouth. Donnie can slightly see that the guy somehow had fangs. Until then he realized that he also had a pair of small brown horns. They’re obscured by his unruly hair, which makes him wonder what kind of guy he is.

“Can I take a look on your phone?” he asked. Silver stared at him. He paused for a bit, thinking if he should listen to the kid. 

He sighed and give the kid his phone. Donnie carefully took it and began his inspections. He turns on the phone and found the thing had a hard time finishing the intro. Once Donnie had access to the content, he took his time checking every system, apps, and settings. 

Silver rests his head on his hand, watching the kid gone all quiet, eyes fixated on the screen. He can see the kid in full concentration on what he’s doing, so he didn’t bother to ask anything. 

“Is it okay if I upgrade them a bit?” Donnie offered. Silver raised his eyebrow. The word ‘upgrade’ intrigues and astonished him. Can the kid really upgrade his phone? The kid seems serious about what he said. Although, is it a good idea to let a kid messes with his phone?

But Silver is more curious than worry. Silver gives him a nod. Donnie looked around for Hueso. The skeleton saw the turtle waved at him. He approached him, “If you looking for your coffee, it still in a brewing state.”

“Oh, okay. But also, do you still have my toolbox here?”

“The one that you keep forgetting to bring back with you and instead of you taking it insisting to let me store it for you?” Hueso said in a nonchalant look. Donnie grinned nervously. He sighed, “I’ll go and get it for you.” he walks towards his office.

Donnie went back to the phone in his hand. Silver just watched in quiet, finishing his meal. A waiter with six arms came and put a mug of coffee at Donnie’s side. He quickly took a sip and continue his inspecting. 

Hueso came back with a purple toolbox, he put it next to the mug and went off to do his business. The table shook as the toolbox was set down, how many tools the kid have in that thing?

Donnie put his mug to his other side. He pushed a button on the box and attracted all the tools held by small robot arms. Silver was shocked by the sheer amount of tools that came out of it. 

Donnie opened the phone’s casing. Pulled down his goggles, he types something in his tech bracelet and the robot arms helping him out to do some tinkering. Silver blinked, he observes the kid doing something to his phone. 

He watched the three-fingered hands deftly moves between each tool, once seeing his hand reaching something inside the box and implanting it onto the phone. He waited for the kid to finish as it seems the kid doesn’t want to be bothered while doing his work.

Finally, Donnie plopped back the casing. The toolbox retracted back all the tools, back to its former form. Donnie turned on the phone and give it back to Silver. He took his phone and take a look at it.

“I upgrade the memory storage, which now can hold 200 GB. It’s the biggest one I can get other than stealing it. I upgraded the ram storage, the system processor, the cache settings. Updated further the anti-virus with my own coding, also put a tiny Donnie-blocker to keep off all kinds of mal-ware, aaand installing a new set of cameras for further perfection on either photo or video making ability. Oh, and I give you some unlimited access to the internet. Your Welcome and Thank you!” he smiled with pride and joy. 

Silver nodded in amazement. He explored his phone further and he can already felt the significant difference from before. No lagging, quick accessing, one-second loading. Whatever the kid has done, it did wonders for his phone. “Well, I gotta say, Kid. I’m impressed.” he praised.

Donnie flinched by the appraisal from him. He smiled broadly with tears of joy. How long has he been dreaming for an adult’s appraisals and approvals? Too long perhaps that he can’t contain his smile. Which made Silver cringe at him. Hueso walked past them and saw Donnie glittering in happiness.

“Did you praised him?” he asked.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No. Just brace yourself, that’s all.” he added, leaving them alone. Silver pinched his nose-bridge.

###

Silver walks along the Hidden City’s streets with his new modified phone in his hand. The first thing he finds is that the kid had put thousands of songs on the music list. He’s really intrigued with the titles of each of them, noted to himself that he should give them a try.

“So, where are you going?”

He sighed, he nearly forgot that the said kid still on his tail. 

Silver : Why don’t you just go home, kid?

Donnie : First of all, I am not a kid. I’m 16.

Silver : And, I’m 28. So you’re a kid to me.

Donnie : Scoff! I am a teenager, thank you very much! *arm-crossed*

Silver : Why are you saying ‘scoff’ out loud?

Donnie : And, second, I’m not ready to go home, yet. 

Silver : Why not?

Donnie : Well, even though I’ve been here for an hour and fifty-one minutes, but I just got here.

Silver : And, now, you can go home.

Donnie stopped in his track. Silver noticed the lack of sound of the kid’s footsteps, he turned around at Donnie who clearly unhappy, avoiding eye contact.

“I just won’t, alright? You won’t understand.” he shoved his hands in his pockets. Silver raised an eyebrow, the kid still refused to look at him. 

He sure didn’t understand what the kid’s deal is that he doesn’t want to go home. But it’s not like Silver would want to be part of it, especially if it’s a personal matter. He rolled his eyes and continued his walk, eyes fixated on the screen until he heard the kid’s footsteps following him again.

He peered his head back to the kid. Donnie saw him staring and froze. Silver stares nonchalantly. Donnie frowned, looking away dejected. He can still sense being stared.

“Okay, FINE. I’ll go! Stop staring at me like that!” Donnie quickly turned around, grumbling in his hood. Silver watched the kid's leaves, the kid’s wisp flew close to his head, caressing him.

He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to feel bad, he knows the kid can take care of himself, as long as he stops spacing out. Sia stares at him, unimpressed, which triggered Silver in the way.

“What?” he flatly asked. Sia scolded her living friend, squeaking away like no tomorrow. “The last thing I want other than being stranded here is becoming a babysitter. Okay?”

Sia pouts, she crossed her arms and look away. Silver rolled his eyes, he doesn’t need this right now. “Uuuugh!!! HEY, KID!”

Donnie quickly turns his head. Silver sighed, there’s no turning back now. “Come on, there’s a place that I wanna go. You can help out there if you want.” he walks away.

He didn’t need to wait or looking back to know that kid accepted his offer when he heard a running coming from behind. Donnie joined him on his side, keeping it quiet, in case if the man changes his mind.

He has a lot of questions, but putting them off the table. Keeping it cool as he observed the guy scrolling through his phone. Donnie shoves his hands, trying to obscure his fingers fidgeting restlessly. He’s giddy for some reason, he doesn’t know why. 

What he should do is be cautious, especially when you’re meeting a stranger. But so far, the stranger had been kind to him, despite all the snarkiness. 

He saved his life from a falling boulder which he still doesn’t understand why it’s there. He responsibly trying to make him feel better in case he was shaken from the near-death experience--which he got to be honest, that he was, only a little. And, he let him tinker his phone and upgraded it, and not to mention, appraisal--legitness--for his work.

He can’t help but smile with that thought, this Silver guy sure is an interesting one. He learned that souls can leave a part of their own, remnants of their memories, and formed into these little ghosts called Wisps.

The concept of this little entity really intrigues him, and now that he knows that he has a Wisp of his own, which is none other than his Gram-Gram. And, that hits him,

Donnie : About the Wisps...

Silver : Hm? 

Donnie : Gram-Gram is a part of a family, my family. And, I’m sure that she also loves my brothers. Right?

Silver : Put it this way, you have how many people in one family, and there’s one who passes away and that person loves every single one of them. If a wisp wanted to go back to their loved ones, and there are many, so they’ll follow them all.

Donnie : How?

Silver : The explanatory still confuses me, but a wisp can actually exist more than once in the living. For example, if your wisp is following you now, they also follow the others. Like,...ugh, putting it simply, they can be in two or more places at the same time.

Donnie : That’s......mildly confusing.

Silver : You tell me.

Donnie : Wait, so...if my Wisp actually exists somewhere else and following my family,  that means, she’s also there.

Silver : So?

Donnie : So, that means, if I can speak her language, she can help pinpoint their locations, etcetera.

Silver : .....

Donnie : .....

Silver : Huh, I haven’t thought of that.

Donnie : Really?

Silver : But to be fair, not all wisps had the same case. For example, Sia right here.

Donnie : That also hits me, who is she to you?

Silver stopped, Donnie flinched at him. Silver stares blankly at the phone, although he is sure that he wasn’t staring at it. He was getting worried about how the guy didn’t say anything. He figured it actually hurts him, being asked that question.

Donnie guiltily looked away, rubbing his arm. “Sorry.” He apologized. Sia the wisp turned sad, followed by Karai.

Then, he flinched when he felt his head being patted. He meets Silver’s eyes, he didn’t smile but he’s certainly caressing. Silver let go of his hand and continue his walking. Donnie blinked, trying to process what he just did. He rubbed his head, still confused and took off to catch up.

Silver took a right and went up a stair. Donnie paused to see that he was heading towards what looks like a Museum, Yokai’s Museum. Silver went inside, not waiting around for him. Donnie ran in, until, “OOF!!!” he bumps real hard into a large hand and fell back. 

“Oww!” he rubs his head. A troll-like yokai with massively oversize hands stood guard at the entrance.

“Buy ticket first! Only ten dollars!” he said with a deep croaky voice. Silver showed up from the Museum.

“Go get yourself a ticket, kid! I’m only paying for your food.” he disappeared into the building. Donnie stood up peevishly, raising his shoulders. He sighed, reached out a ten-dollar from his wallet.

The Museum looks somewhat bigger than the outside. On the way in, Donnie picked up a pamphlet from its racks. The Museum contains artworks like statues, paintings, carvings, etc. Even some historical objects and artifacts. 

Donnie curiously looked in every direction. Never in his life went to a Museum legally and full of people and bright lights. Last time he has been in a Museum, he had to fight a psychotic hypo and the Foot-clans, breaking every content within.

Donnie scurries along through to find Silver, he isn’t in the Gallery, which now leads him to the Artifact Room. Donnie peeked into the hallway, he didn’t see him yet. He went further as he took his time sightseeing until he stumbled upon a large circular room.

The room was littered with weird, wacky, and interesting artifacts floats on pedestals. And without Donnie’s goggles, he can still see that some of them had mystic powers lingers within. He assuming they all real artifacts that are no longer in use, despite that some still have little powers to spare.

He found Silver stands and observe a floating crescent-like object. Donnie stood beside him, looking at the name on the info board. Rubbing his chin as he translates the language, “Obliath of Secrecy.”

“It’s an artifact that once used to conceal a massive gate that prevents Oble Troll from entering a farm patch for the early season of Fire Cabbage Festival, thirty years ago. Created by an old fairy farmer who lives with the farm patches.” Silver explains. Donnie looked at him astonished.

“You know about artifacts?”

“No, it says so in this info board.” he points at the board he just read. 

“O-oh...”

“Anyway, we’re not here for sightseeing.” he said, “Come.”

Donnie raised his eyebrow, he looked at Karai, she shook her head, not knowing what it means. Donnie shrugged and followed the men.

As Donnie follows, he saw Silver talk to a tiger yokai from afar. Donnie paused for a moment, he observes as Silver received some kind of a key from the yokai and quickly put them in his inner pocket. As the yokai leaves, Silver turned to Donnie and gesturing him to follow.

Donnie became suspicious, still, he does what he’s told. He approached Silver who’s standing near a big sarcophagus. He looked around, to make sure nobody’s looking and opened the coffin. “Get in.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.” And, Donnie did. Silver followed and closed the coffin, hiding the two inside.

###

Silver slowly opens the sarcophagus slightly, peeking out to the now dark Artifact Room. Sia emerged from the coffin, looking around as she flew away. She went back and nodded, Silver opens the coffin entirely, letting Donnie and himself out. 

Donnie gingerly looks around, unsure of what will they be doing.

“What are we doing?” he asked, only to be shushed by Silver. Silver promptly stealth walking into the empty room. Donnie follows without difficulty as he was trained to be stealthy. Silver leads them both to a turn left to the sarcophagus that leads to a storage room. Silver stopped, assessing the situation.

“What are we doing here?!” Donnie whispered. Silver ignores him and lets Sia come forth first. She flew ahead towards the door until she passed an invisible barrier that reanimated as she came through. Donnie was amazed by the presence of the invisible wall. 

Silver waited to make sure it didn’t trigger any kind of alarm, which it didn’t. He comes close to the barrier, putting his palm onto it. It was solid, as it should be. Donnie looked around to make sure they were alone, getting more worried about this whole situation.

Silver took a breath in and out, he casts an energy flow onto his hand, the bluish energy glows stunningly in the dark. Donnie watched in awe from a couple of feet away. It then formed itself into a long energy stream, condensed into a sword-like structure.

Donnie was surprised by the guy’s capability, it looks different than any mystic weapons he saw. Silver slashed the barrier right down the middle, then proceed to slice the bottom frame. The sword disappeared, Silver opened the barrier like it was a curtain. He gesturing Donnie to get in first.

“Can you please tell me what’s going on?!” he protested in a whisper.

“I’ll tell you when we get inside. Move!” Donnie opened his mouth to speak, “Kid, you’ve gone far to follow me here. And I don’t mind at all that you bail right this second. Your choice.”

Despite him whispering, Silver’s voice was sharp and stern, giving massive goosebumps towards Donnie’s shell. A strike of fear suddenly picking up, Donnie momentarily having a staring contest with the guy.

He could bail, but he needs to know what this guy’s doing. If he’s doing something bad, it’s his job as a Hamato to stop him. He can’t let it slide, he needs to know what’s going on. He stepped into the barrier, no turning back now.

He stopped at the door, Silver came up and use the key on the door. The storage filled with unshowcased artifacts organized in some ways. Silver carefully closed the door behind him and locked it, Donnie took a moment to look around. 

He has seen some of these artifacts in Draxum’s research notes. Few of them extremely foreign. 

“THOOOONG!!!!”

Donnie jumped at the sound from behind him. Silver cast some kind of barrier in bluish and white streams of energy. Suddenly, he toppled over, lying on his side. Donnie jerked up and ran at him. His breathing is normal and his pulse is steady but the guy had fallen unconscious.

“Silver?” he patted his cheeks, hoping to wake him up. Silver let out a groan. Donnie helped him to sit, leaning him to a wall. “What happened? You okay?” 

“I might...have put....too many in....one go.” he said, sounding really exhausted. Donnie looked at the barrier. It looks very sturdy, not sure how many he actually put in one spot. Donnie turned back to him.

“But, you’re okay, right?

“Yeah, just....a little tired.” he hoists himself up, pushing up against the wall to get back to his feet. Donnie ducked under his arm, helping him walk around the storage room. Silver leads them further inside, Sia flew right ahead. She pinpoints the directions around the many crates filled with artifacts, to where they should go and they follow.

Until they reached a large pedestal with an object that floats right in the middle. Silver let his arm go from Donnie. “There it is.”

The artifact shape is a trapezoid, with carvings all over its dark plum coloring. The object felt different than the others, felt threatening in some ways. Donnie frowned by the sight of it as Silver approached the thing. He held his hand out to it.

“Wait, what are you doing?” 

“What does it look like?” he said, “I’m stealing it.”

A paused for a moment.

“Wait, WHAT?!”

[phantomrapier]

BNHA Holiday stuff

You: *crying* omg

Mina: *holding back laughter* he hasn't woken up yet

Iida: who?

Jiro: *one hand on her mouth, other hand points*

*Midoriya sleeps on the couch with candy canes and red beads strung throughout his hair*

Iida: As class representative... !

You, Mina and Jiro: damn he's gonna chew us out

Iida: ... i must snap A PICTURE AND CAPTURE THIS MOMENT!

***

Kirishima: *wearing red nose and having jelled his hair into antlers* c'mon man! Its just for a few hours!

Bakugo: no

Kirishima: but dude--

Bakugo: 💥I SAID NO💥

Kirishima:

Bakugo:

Kirishima: *tearing up and sniffling* okay

Later

You: how'd you convince him?!

Kirishima: oh.. you know... my ol' razzle dazzle

Bakugo: *hair jelled to look like a golden bushel of holly* grrrr

***

Fat Gum: merry Christmas guys!

Ryukyu: Happy Holidays, Fat! Thanks for hosting the potluck!

Fat Gum: *blushes* oh you know it was no trouble

Rock Lock: yeah man all these chocolate chip cookies smell fantastic!

Fat: oh sorry those aren't for you guys

Rock Lock: oh ok so the silver platter ov--

Fat Gum: nope

Rock Lock: *sweating* ummm... which cookies ARE for guests

Fat: *points to tray of dozen snickerdoodles* that one

*Ryukyu and Rock Lock count 7 additional cookie platters in the room*

Ryukyu: Fat... sweetie... your gonna eat all that and dinner? That's enough to kill 4 horses!

Fat: *picks up tray* yeah. All For Me.

Ryukyu and Rock Lock: 😨

Toshinori: i dislike that punchline

***

You: its time to be aggressively festive

*run passed Fat Gum*

You: ITS A MARSHMALLOW WORLD IN THE WINTER🎶

*smashes Midoriya with a Santa hat*

Y: DEKU THE HALLS🎶--

*nearly trip over Bakugo and shove him into Midoriya with mistletoe*

Y: --WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY🎼

*puts a top hat onto Todoroki*

Y: SHOTO THE SNOWMAN🎵

Todoroki: i don't really celebrate the holidays

Midoriya: *untangling himself from tinsel trap set by Mineta* but Todo-senpai, youre the Peppermint Prince!

Yaoyorozu: aww thats so cute!

Todoroki:

Todoroki: *tightens hat and blushes* i am the peppermint prince

***

*Eri sits coloring with Kota*

*Aizawa and Tiger approach*

Aizawa: what are you two up to?

Kota: *mumbling angrily* Eri's being stupid

Aizawa: *an inch away from murder*

Eri: *smugly* Kota's being irrational because he knows im right

Tiger: *holds Aizawa back* really? What are you two talking about?

Eri: Santa's quirk

Kota: its clearly an acceleration type! He's a speedster! The reindeer are imbued with the same power, but they run back to HQ to give him the presents he needs for each home!

Eri: *sighs and meticulously selects next color* its clearly a warp type quirk. The reindeer are his keys, acting as anchors to each location. Look--

*holds up picture of sleigh, Santa, and reindeer engulfed in flames*

Eri: -- if they were all speedsters, the speed they would need to travel at would destabilize their molecular structures, killing them. No warping, no Christmas.

Tiger:

Aizawa:

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to you all! I love you all and wish you the best!

[silent-writer83]

Let’s Do It Baby, I Know The Law

”Summary: Successful in saving Iris, there are some unforeseen costs. So, with little time left, you decide to live it up consequences be damned. When Savitar comes for you, you’ve got a few choice words in mind for him.

A/N: Tbh I just wanted to write the reader drunkenly mouthing off to Savitar. If you know what this quote is from, ily.

Changing the timeline always came at a cost, you all knew that. Hell, if you didn’t by now then you were just being purposefully ignorant. What no one expected, no matter how many times they toyed with it, was the cost they would be paying. Saving Iris was the goal, its what everyone focused so heavily on that they didn’t think twice about rearranging events. They didn’t think about the little things they were tweaking and the effect that it would have on another’s life. They didn’t think because they didn’t care.

In the end you were successful, waiting with bated breath as Cisco vibed Barry to the future yet again to see if their efforts were worth it. Of course the latino was giving a play by play, each person in the cortex hanging on his every word. You sat, hands in your lap, practically vibrating on the edge of your seat as they named the differences. “Savitar just arrived,” Cisco breathed and you could have sworn your heart stopped.

“Okay? And!” You urged, scooting to the edge as your eyes trained on your two friends. “Did it work?! Did we save Iris?” you asked the question on everyone’s mind, only, an answer didn’t come. Confused, and assuming that your plans were thwarted yet again, you slumped in your seat with a sigh.

Caitlin bit her lip to hide her disappointment as she looked over meaningless papers on her clipboard to look busy. H.R’s shoulders slumped as he gripped his drumsticks tightly. Wally did his best not to react, averting his gaze as he quelled his frustration and Joe hugged Iris to his chest. The defeat in the room was palpable as you turned back to your desk with a heavy sigh, the glance Cisco shared with Barry going unseen.

Cisco didn’t know what to say, hoping that Barry would, but when their eyes met he knew the hero was at just as much of a loss as he was. Swallowing the nerves in his belly, Cisco folded his goggles as he turned to his friends in the room. How was he supposed to say this? How could they be happy about this? Why couldn’t they just have one clean win?

“Um,” his voice cracked as he broke the silence, everyone’s head snapping in his direction. Being under direct scrutiny just made him want to shrivel up, avoiding their expectant, anxious gazes.

“We saved Iris,” Barry spoke up, forcing the cheer in his voice. The sigh of relief that filled the room only broke his heart as Cisco watched Iris rush to her fiance.

Perking up at your desk, a smile was already dancing on your features. “Yes!” you cheered, joy filling the room as everyone felt the weight of the world lift off their shoulders. Of course, nothing good could last around here, Iris being the first to pick up on Barry’s stiffness. She always could read him like a book.

“What’s wrong Bar?” She asked, pulling back just enough to look at him. Barry chewed his lip as he looked to Cisco for guidance. By now everyone was inching closer, confused as to why Barry wasn’t more excited. His wife-to-be was going to live so what’s the deal?

“We saved you but...” he faltered, stepping back as he turned to look at you. Lips parted to speak but he found the words caught in his throat. How could he say this to you, after everything you’ve done, after everything you’ve given them - him - as a friend.

“Alright dude, quit lookin’ at me like that. It’s freakin’ me out,” you laughed away your discomfort as all eyes turned to you. You didn’t like the pity in Barry’s gaze, the pain as he tried to say words that wouldn’t come. “We saved Iris what’s the big de-”

“You die!” Cisco blurted out, tense as he quickly clapped a hand over his mouth and turned his back.

The shock was clear as day on your face as you stood dumbfounded. You hadn’t thought of the consequences of rearranging the timeline but shit, you weren’t expecting this! Blinking, you took a breath, opening your mouth to speak but, like Barry, you were at a loss for words. Your mind couldn’t comprehend what was going on, couldn’t wrap around the idea that, just moments ago you were meant to live a semi-normal, happy life and now....now you only had a few days left.

Abruptly you turned, heels clicking on their way out of the cortex. You were on autopilot, mind blank and yet buzzing all at the same time. You could hear their voices calling after you, not wanting you to leave. How could they protect you if you weren’t there?! So you paused at the entry way, the calmness with which you turned setting them all on edge.

“I’m....gonna get really drunk,” you stated, moving as if to add to that before shaking your head and leaving. Yeah, you definitely needed a drink.....a stiff one.

“LET’S GET FUCKED UP!” Your voice drowned in the bass of the music, bodies writhing and jumping to the sound around you. The small glass cup in your hand was pressed to your lips, head tilting back as the cool liquid slipped down your throat. The burn had long since faded as your senses skewed from too much alcohol. What did you care anyways? Your days were limited, or was it hours now? WHO CARED YOU WERE DRUNK BITCH!

Laughter fell from your lips as you stumbled out onto the dance floor, plucking a drink from a tray as you passed. Whatever you grabbed was sweet, washing down your throat as you shimmied into the ground. Your phone buzzed in your back pocket for, you didn’t even know how many times. Like all the others it went completely ignored. You were drunk but happy, not a care in the world, and that’s how you wanted it to stay.

“Cisco, did she answer?” Barry’s voice spoke through the coms. He was zipping through Central City looking for you. How one person seemed to disappear so fast was unsettling. It was nearly two in the morning and Barry was starting to fear the worst.

“No,” Cisco sighed, the defeat was in his voice as he fiddled with his screens.

“Can’t you like...triangulate or something?!” Barry huffed, getting frustrated at his inability to find you.

“Oh yeah, because I haven’t tried that before,” Cisco shot back with a huff of his own.

Caitlin stepped up, offering a reassuring (though tense) smile to Cisco. Hands on the top of the desk, she leaned over so she could talk into the com. “Y/N would always go to Club Lavo,” She suggested with a hopeful tone.

Without a second thought Barry was rushing off, zipping through the streets of Central City. 

Barry’s eyes darted around the dark club, squinting against the flashing lights. He was looking for your familiar mop of hair, groaning when he couldn’t make out much. Thank god he had his powers. Darting through the crowd, it only took a few moments to find you. Arms wrapped around your center, not thinking twice before rushing back to the Cortex.

The world rushed around you in too fast movements, halting all at once leaving you dizzy and stumbling. Legs wobbled as you attempted to step, stomach lurching as you doubled over. Barry had a can in front of you just in time for you to spill out stomach acid and what remained of a cocktail, grimacing at the sounds of your gagging.

The tell tale crackling of lighting had heads snapping to the doorway, hearts lurching as that eerie doppleganger made himself known. The smirk on his mangled face was cocky as he sauntered in, eyeing each and every horrified face. Savitar took pride in the way they tensed, the way they all seemed to skirt around you as if that would make a difference. Oh how feeble they all were. “Hand her over and I’ll let you all live,” He mused, reveling in the games he played with them.

“Like hell that’s gonna happen,” Barry quipped, refusing to let his future self have it easy.

“We can do it the hard way Barry. I’m faster than you, stronger. I am a GO-”

“Oh shut UP!” You whined, pushing past the Scarlet Speedster as you stumbled out from the protective little bubble your friends made. “You, sir,” you slurred as you waved a finger in Savitar’s face. “May fuggoff!” Stumbling back, a hand pressed to your lips as you felt your stomach gurgle. You weren’t about to let that stop your tirade though. “You think you kin juss waltz in here like you own the place? Newsflash, bro, you don’t. Dis my house,” you quipped, clapping to make your point. “In here, talm bout ‘I’m a God. Grrrr bow down to me,’“ you mocked the man you had all come to fear. “Like, who even are you?”

Savitar’s jaw clenched as he glared at you, hands fisting at his sides. Embarrassment began to crawl along his neck, staining his cheeks a soft red as you taunted him. How dare you?! You were meant to fear him!

“And another thing!” You started, turning back to him as you stumbled your way over. “You’re a digghead!” you fumbled the words as syllables began to slide together, finger jabbing the self-proclaimed God of Speed in the chest. “Oh wahhh, I didn’t like myself so I’m gonna go kill his wife. Like, talk bout small dick energy amirite?” you snorted, turning to your friends as you doubled over in laughter.

They all stared at you, wide eyed and slack jawed, unable to figure out just how they felt. On one hand it was hilarious, watching you verbally berate this so called God of Speed, on the other hand it was terrifying because they knew how ruthless the future Barry Allen could be.

“Should....I be offended by that?” Barry whispered softly to Cisco who merely shook his head with a small shrug. To be honest, he wasn’t sure what to make of all of this.

Glaring down at you, Savitar felt his heart fumble in his chest. He didn’t like the way you talked to carelessly to him, the way there was no fear in your eyes. Surely you knew he was the one to end your life. Why weren’t you acting like it! “I’ll slaughter your entire family if you’re no careful,” he ground out, hoping that, at the very least, would put you in your place.

Whirling around you stood straight, arms out beckoning him to prove it. “Let’s do it baby, I know the law!”

[welcometothepenumbra]

JUNO STEEL AND THE LONG WAY HOME (PART TWO)

SOUND: RAIN. TRAIN ARRIVES, CREAKS TO A STOP. DOOR CLANKS OPEN.

CONDUCTOR: Ah, good evening, Traveler. And welcome… to The Penumbra.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS SHUT.

Take your seat, please, take your seat.

MUSIC: STARTS.

The junction lies ahead, so if you’ll allow me just a moment.

SOUND: TRAIN WHISTLE.

We are now passing through Hyperion City.

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING.

Our next stop?

SOUND: TRAIN BRAKES.

Juno Steel and the Long Way Home.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS OPEN, RAIN.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOUND: WATER DRIPPING, RIPPLING.

THEIA: (DISTANT, OVERLAPPING) Target located. Alerting central office. Exchanging map data. Sector is clear. Recharging. Recharging.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Here’s a lesson that never sticks, no matter how many times you learn it: even when you’re not around, the world keeps movin’ without you. Never feels that way. When you leave, you take a frozen version of the place with you in your head, and that feels real, but… then you get back and find the place is melting right in front of you.

SMALL FRY: (WHIMPERS, QUIET BARKS)

JUNO: Yep, I’m pretty wiped too, Small Fry. How ‘bout a snack break?

SOUND: SPLASH.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I remember these sewers as an escape, if you can believe it. When things got too rough topside I would lose myself down here, where things were simple. Where the monsters looked like monsters, big furry ones with long teeth and mean eyes. They were scary, but… that was part of the escape.

SMALL FRY: (IN BACKGROUND) (BARKS)

JUNO (NARRATOR): When you’re so young you think monsters are the scariest things out there… what could feel better than teaching the boogeyman to eat out of the palm of your hand?

SMALL FRY: (BARK!)

JUNO: Whatsamatter? You don’t like salmon chips?

SMALL FRY: (YIP!)

JUNO: Don’t tell me you’re picky.

SOUND: CRUNCHING, CHEWING.

(GARBLED, MOUTH FULL) Aw, man, these’ve got the freeze-dried soy dust and everything! You’re outta your mind, Small Fry.

SMALL FRY: (SNIFFS & SNORTS)

JUNO: Oh, what’s that? Now you want one?

SMALL FRY: (SNORTS)

JUNO: That’s what I thought. Take the bag, it’s yours.

SMALL FRY: (GRRRR)

JUNO: (SIGHS)

SOUND: CRUNCHING, CHEWING.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I wonder sometimes if having that escape as a kid felt a little too good. Like I’d go underground and feel like all the world’s horrors could be tamed, then, come back up and think that feeling should last forever. It felt like I could make it last forever if I tried. But, things change.

SMALL FRY: (BARK!)

SOUND: CREAKING.

JUNO: What’s the matter, Small Fry? You hear some… thing…?

THEIA: Target sighted.

JUNO: Damn it! Get in…

…that pipe, quickly! Hide under my coat!

SMALL FRY: (SNUFFLES)

THEIA: Target recognized. Target is—

JUNO: (OVER THE BELOW) Juno Steel, yeah.

THEIA: —Juno Steel. Directive: do no—

JUNO: (OVER THE ABOVE) Do no harm, Mayor O’Flaherty requests my presence, you can’t capture me nonviolently so I’m supposed to go there on my own, that it?

THEIA: (AFTER A PAUSE) This is your only—

JUNO: Right, thanks, almost forgot, this is my only warning. I’m workin’ on it now, but thanks for the reminder, bye!

THEIA: Farewell. Juno Steel.

SOUND: CREAKING FADES OUT.

JUNO: (QUIETLY) Going… going, aaaaaand gone. Psst!

Hey kid! Coast is clear!

SOUND: HEAVY CREAK.

Small Fry?

SOUND: SPLASHING.

…The hell is this?

SOUND: SPLASHING FOOTSTEPS.

Another room?

SMALL FRY: (SNORES)

JUNO: (GASPS)

SOUND: GUN COCKING.

…Oh.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The rabbit was asleep. Just… tuckered out.

Then I felt the exhaustion piling on me too, so I sat and let her nap awhile. And if I got some rest out of the bargain, so be it.

Small Fry had found a good hiding spot. The pipe I’d shoved her into led through a shattered wall, which opened up into another one of the sewer’s old chambers. Must have been a false start from some earlier construction job, walled-up so it’d just go away, but… that never kept anything hidden forever, did it?

The Theia bots were tearing this place apart, and soon one would find Small Fry. But even if they did clear out and we did get outta here, what the hell was I gonna do with her?

MUSIC: STARTS.

My name’s Juno Steel. I’m a private eye, and that means I’m supposed to reserve my blaster for whoever pays my bills. Money hasn’t mattered to me for years, but even so, it… was a rule, and rules are comfortable.

I keep feeling like I don’t know any of the rules anymore, but… I need ‘em. Because if you try to save every sorry soul who hops into your life…

…that might make you a hero, and… right now I’m not sure there’s anything worse.

MUSIC: ENDS. STARTS (FROM COMMS).

HAWK (FROM COMMS): Welcome back to Questions Unanswered: Where is Jack Takano? Tonight’s episode: Part 11 – “The Mask.”

Jack Takano was famously a very private man: until the end of his time at Northstar, he never kept a home address on file, or spoke to anyone about his friends and family outside the company. Even his face was private, as Founder and CEO of Northstar Miranda Fairbanks wrote:

FAIRBANKS ACTOR (FROM COMMS): It was known around the office that Jack daily wore makeup thick even by Hyperion’s standards… I once came into the office quite early to find that he had fallen asleep, drooling, onto his desk and hand. It was almost sweet… until he moved that hand and a layer of skin peeled off his face, only to reveal another, much paler skin beneath. Or so it seemed, until I saw the foundation smudges on the table. When I woke him, he covered his face, mumbled something about not looking decent, and ran off to reapply. A skin condition, he told me later. I never bought it. The difference between the skin beneath and the mask over it was so extreme that it seemed like there was another man under there, buried alive.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): But even a man with a hidden face can’t hide everything. Takano may not have left an explanation for his disappearance in his famous farewell note, but his coworkers did notice a change.

VEGA (FROM COMMS): Well, we all expected something was going to happen. Just not… something that extreme.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): What about his behavior seemed like the first sign, Dr. Vega?

VEGA (FROM COMMS): Isolation, first. Irritability, some days, although he’d always apologize soon after. But I think the first unquestionable sign for me was Andromeda 3.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): If you didn’t see Andromeda 3 at release, it’s unlikely you ever will: the film was panned so universally that Northstar established an Anti-Informations Department just to erase every copy they could find. Or as one reviewer put it:

VOICE 6 (FROM COMMS): Schlock and drivel. Its characterization is so flat it approaches concave. Its pacing makes death seem a fond alternative. And worst of all, it appears Takano has no idea what made Andromeda so compelling in the first place, and what remains are only echoes of the Turbo nonsense that nearly put Northstar into its early, and perhaps deserved, grave. Takano needs to get his head out of building tourist traps and back into telling stories, because this was clearly rushed.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): The only thing atypical of this review is its lenience: the reviewer gave Andromeda 3 the highest rating we could find. But that last sentiment, that the film was rushed, is repeated by nearly every review on record, despite the fact that it is completely untrue.

CHEN (FROM COMMS): I don’t think I ever saw Jack work harder on a project. Besides the park, obviously.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): That’s Jocelyn Chen, former Head of Animation at Northstar.

MUSIC: ENDS.

CHEN (FROM COMMS): I remember seeing pages of script and sketches of Andromeda 3 a few weeks before the first film came out, but he was never satisfied. It was just rewrite after rewrite with him.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): Was his process similar for Chainmail Warrior Andromeda or Sea of Sinners?

CHEN (FROM COMMS): Not at all. He had full storyboards for both ready when he first pitched the project, and he only had a month on those. But the third one… I don’t know. He kept talking about the responsibility, and… I tried to help, but, the pressure must’ve gotten to him.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): You came under fire for that film, too.

CHEN (FROM COMMS): I did.

I– I wasn’t mad at him for having writer’s block. I was mad at him for not listening earlier, for not giving us something, anyway. I had to steal his notes just so we could start work on time for a sloppy release, and… that was the only time I’ve ever heard him get angry.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): A recording of Takano’s tirade was leaked a few months after Andromeda 3’s release:

SOUND: BACKGROUND STATIC.

JACK (FROM COMMS): We are doing something important here. Am I the only one who sees that? Am I?!

CHEN (FROM COMMS): Jack, we have a deadline—

JACK (FROM COMMS): Damn the deadline! You’re exactly the problem, Jocelyn, focusing on the smallest issues when you should be solving the big ones, taking the solution now over the solution that works– DO NOT SPEAK while I am speaking!

No. Keep the damn notes. It’s too late already.

SOUND: STATIC FADES OUT.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): The company could have scrubbed this leak like they erased the film, had Takano himself not acknowledged it, in a press conference the day after it spread:

JACK (FROM COMMS): …I would like to apologize, of course. I’ve already apologized to Jocelyn, but, like it or not I’ve been thrust into the public eye; and as a result, my responsibility extends to each and every one of you.

SMALL FRY: (SNUFFLES & SNORTS)

JUNO: Mmm… quit it.

SOUND: WATER DRIPPING, BUBBLING.

JACK (FROM COMMS): Three years is not a very long time to grow old, and, yet I find that, compared to the early days of Andromeda, I feel precisely—

JUNO: (OVER THE BELOW) I said quit it!

JACK (FROM COMMS): (OVER THE ABOVE) —how I expected an old man must: very tired, and only slightly more wise.

SMALL FRY: (BARKS)

JACK (FROM COMMS): What strikes me as most beautiful about Andromeda is how she works not just on the world, but also on herself. Tirelessly. When Andromeda discovers that her magic chainmail is empowered by the suffering of others, she sees immediately how this might corrupt her… and she steels herself against it.

I see now the power I have in Northstar. And I see the heavy responsibility that power bestows upon me. We will use it for good, from here out. For Polaris.

SMALL FRY: (BARK!)

SOUND: SLAP.

JUNO: (OVER THE BELOW) Damn it, Rita, I’m taking a nap, you—!

SMALL FRY: (BARKS)

HAWK (FROM COMMS): (OVER THE ABOVE) Takano’s apology was very well received—

JUNO: …Oh.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): (OVER THE BELOW) —as Jocelyn Chen recalls.

JUNO: (OVER THE ABOVE) Small Fry. Right.

SMALL FRY: (GROWLS)

CHEN (FROM COMMS): (OVER THE BELOW) He could do that, apologize and have all forgiven—

JUNO: (OVER THE ABOVE) What’s the matter, kid, you hungry?

SMALL FRY: (BARKS)

JUNO: What the hell? Get off me!

CHEN (FROM COMMS): —really forgiven. You could always tell he meant it, that it really had eaten him up inside. He—

SMALL FRY: (BARKS)

SOUND: CLICK, COMMS CUTS OFF.

JUNO: The hell?

Did you… take my comms? Out of my ear?

SMALL FRY: (BARKS, GROWLS)

JUNO: Don’t eat it!

Well, looks like we’re awake now, doesn’t it? Here, come close. You just put it up to your ear like this, and—

SOUND: FEEDBACK SCREECH.

JUNO & SMALL FRY: (PAINED YELLS)

JUNO: God dammit, what did you do?

SMALL FRY: (WHIMPERING)

JUNO: You know how long it took me to figure that thing out? Now look, it’s wet and it stinks and I can’t even listen to it and I don’t know where anybody is or what the hell I’m gonna do to keep you safe and—

SOUND: PLOP, SPLASH.

There. It’s trash now. Just like this whole stupid idea. Whatever.

SOUND: SPLASHES. DISTANT FEEDBACK.

SMALL FRY: (BARK!)

JUNO: I told you, the comms is broken.

SOUND: FEEDBACK STOPS. ELECTRONIC SCROLLING.

JUNO: You’re just gonna hurt yourself. Make it explode or something.

SMALL FRY: (GROWLS)

SOUND: BEEPS.

JUNO: Damn it, don’t you listen?

SOUND: ALARM BEEPS.

It’s busted. See?

SOUND: JINGLE (FROM COMMS).

VOICE 7 (FROM COMMS): Welcome to your comms. Please enter your name.

JUNO: Wait, what?

SMALL FRY: (GROWLS)

JUNO: You… there’s no way you know how to use this. You can’t.

SMALL FRY: (YIPS)

JUNO: Alright, take it.

SMALL FRY: (RRRRR!)

SOUND: BEEPS.

JUNO: No. Way.

SMALL FRY: (GRRRS, YIP!)

SOUND: LOUD JINGLE (FROM COMMS).

VOICE 7 (FROM COMMS): (VERY LOUD) Bienvenue à votre comms.

JUNO: (HISS OF PAIN) Nevermind! (SIGHS)

SMALL FRY: (BARK!)

JUNO: But… you did have it for a second.

SOUND: BEEPS.

SMALL FRY: (SNUFFLE, GROWLS)

JUNO: No, no, I’m gonna try this time.

SMALL FRY: (BARK!)

JUNO: And, uh… thanks, Small Fry. I needed that.

SMALL FRY: (BARK!)

JUNO (NARRATOR): While I messed with that comms I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about Rita. She’d been telling me what Small Fry just had for years – that I didn’t need her to set everything up, that I wasn’t even trying, and… I’d yell at her that I got it, but I was just busy. And then sit alone, like an idiot, while she set up my comms, my monitor, everything.

Ma never let us have that stuff. And then I just got too proud to admit I didn’t get it, and… I got better and better at asking other people to work around me, I guess. Anyway, I… had the thing up and running again soon.

SOUND: BLIP.

JACKET (FROM COMMS): We may look backward only to ensure we have not walked this path before.

JUNO: Yeah, thanks, big guy.

SMALL FRY: (BARK!)

JUNO: Just… give me one more minute.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Maybe I’d gone mad with power, but… I had an idea, and I was hungry for another win. I knew the comms could get on the net, and I knew the sewer system’s layout was a public document. The rest was just guesswork. Learning and mistakes.

SOUND: ERROR BEEP.

JUNO: (GROWLS)

SOUND: ERROR BEEP.

Aghhhh!

SMALL FRY: (BARKS)

JUNO (NARRATOR): …a whole lot of mistakes. But, still.

It took me an hour to do what Rita could’ve done in two seconds, but, I was proud of it.

SOUND: BEEP.

JUNO: Ha! Got it! Look, it’s a map, and I think I found a manhole that’ll take us…

SMALL FRY: (SNORES)

JUNO: …out of the… sewer.

Hey. Hey, c’mon, Small Fry. C’mon.

SMALL FRY: (SNUFFLES AWAKE)

JUNO: We gotta go, kid. I think I found a way out of here. And after that…

We’ll have to figure that out together, I guess.

SMALL FRY: (MEWLS)

JUNO (NARRATOR): I split the comms so I could carry it in my hand and my ear at the same time. It was gonna be a hike to get to that manhole leading out of the sewer, and… to Oldtown.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): (FADING IN) The year between Andromeda 3’s release and the opening of Polaris Park marked a shift in how Northstar was run. Takano removed himself from the film production process completely, hiring previously-terminated Northstar writer Kenni Okombe and rock-star-slash-poet Rajavi to co-write Andromeda and the Dragon’s Peak, based on some of Takano’s early sketches. In the meantime, Jack Takano redoubled his efforts on Polaris Park, and though he spent many, many hours in that office – staying for days or weeks on end, according to some – his coworkers saw him less than ever.

VEGA (FROM COMMS): Always in his office. It was as though we’d taken on a staff hermit. (LAUGHS) Not that it was a funny situation, of course, Jack was clearly troubled. But, well… we all just thought that if the tortured genius needs his space, give him his space.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): Many of Takano’s former coworkers expressed similar sentiments. But not Jocelyn Chen.

CHEN (FROM COMMS): Everyone always said yes to Jack, and it wasn’t good for him. So when he started hiding, working himself sick, all that… I wasn’t having it, and I said so.

He gave me some line… something about how he had to figure out the problem by himself, that he couldn’t compromise on the park any more than he already had. And I said, “Jack, you can take all your toys, and go hide in your room if you want. But if you keep working like this, you’re going to get yourself killed, and—”

After that… after I said that, he just… looked at me and waited. Like I hadn’t gotten to my point yet. Like that wasn’t even enough reason t—

Anyway. I ended the conversation there, because I wasn’t getting anywhere. But clearly he wasn’t done.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): Ms. Chen is referring to a public charity event at which Takano spoke to raise funds for Martian fire departments. Though the speech was largely typical of his optimistic oratory, there was a tangent that was met with confusion in the press:

JACK (FROM COMMS): But the most beautiful thing about Andromeda, I think, is… that she always goes it alone. She recognizes that heroism is a blessing for the world and a curse for the hero, who must live with the weight of every decision they make, the pain of every loss they fail to prevent. And yet she never stops. And she never shares this burden with another, because she knows it is better for one to suffer than two. Goodness is her charge. And she lives up to it alone.

CHEN (FROM COMMS): Which isn’t even true. Aries, the Ramblers, Captain Cancer, Queen Pisces – by that point, Andromeda had relied on others twice a movie! Well, minus Andromeda 3, but… (SIGHS)

VEGA (FROM COMMS): Jack never spoke to me directly about his design problem, but I could see it amongst the lines, as it were. Something at the core of Polaris Park had gone wrong for him, somewhere. Some of his work orders implied that the problem had come from compromises he’d made, and so he tried hiding the gift shops, changing the logo so that ‘Polaris’ was much larger than ‘Park,’ that kind of thing. Then a week later, all those orders would be undone, and he clearly felt that the problem came earlier than his compromises… from the park’s initial contraception, perhaps.

I knew that he expected me to decode that subtext. I like to think I was rather a confidant for him in that way – the only one he could undress even part of his heart to.

SOUND: WATER DRIPPING, RIPPLING FADES IN. DISTANT BOOM.

SMALL FRY: (BARK BARK!)

JUNO: Huh?

HAWK (FROM COMMS): Despite Dr. Vega’s claims, the work orders we’ve unearthed state Takano’s frustrations directly to every head of every department. Polaris Park was not doing what it was supposed to – though Takano was never clear about what its actual purpose was.

SOUND: DISTANT BOOM.

JUNO: What the hell was—

SMALL FRY: (BARK!)

HAWK (FROM COMMS): And as Takano tried to solve it—

SOUND: DISTANT BOOM.

—the days to Polaris Park’s opening – and the man’s disappearance—

SOUND: TWO DISTANT BOOMS.

—drew closer and closer.

SMALL FRY: (BARK BARK!)

SOUND: CLICK, COMMS CUTS OFF.

JUNO: Shhh!

JUNO (NARRATOR): We were close to the exit by then. There was just one last pipe we had to pass through, one big enough to stand and walk in. We hadn’t heard a Theia bot in half an hour; it was quiet here.

Until that thumping started, down at the end of the pipe.

SOUND: DISTANT BOOMS.

As quickly as I could I searched the wall around me for weak spots – cracks, openings, anywhere at all to hide – but there were none. This thing had picked the one solid spot left in the entire Oldtown sewer system to corner us.

SMALL FRY: (WHIMPERS)

SOUND: DISTANT BOOM.

JUNO: (QUIETLY) Get behind me, kid, it’s alright. You’re gonna be alright.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The noise kept coming. I tried to make a plan: hide Small Fry in the sludge and try to talk my way out? No, the Theia bots were chatty, and she couldn’t hold her breath that long. Take a shot at it before it saw us? Maybe, but I doubted I could connect without a Theia on my side.

It got closer.

SOUND: SPLASH.

And closer. And then it rounded the corner.

SOUND: SPLASH.

?????: (GROWLS, PANTING)

SMALL FRY: (YIPS & BARKS)

JUNO: A rabbit…? Alive?

SMALL FRY: (BARKS)

RABBIT: (GROWL-BARKS)

JUNO: You know him. You know that rabbit, don’t you?

SMALL FRY: (YIPS)

JUNO (NARRATOR): So, that was it, then. Some of the rabbits were alive. I’d brought Small Fry home, and… I felt just… awful.

Looking into her big black eyes, one hand on her matted fur, I realized I already cared about this little rabbit. Protecting her made me feel useful, and loved, and… it was hard to put that away.

I let myself live in maybes for a second. A little rabbit munching snack food under my desk. A big one asleep in the corner of my office – ‘the muscle,’ I’d call her, but really… her name would be Small Fry. Even when she got huge.

I never really would’ve taken her, not really; but… it was nice to pretend, for a second.

JUNO: You can trust that big fella over there?

SMALL FRY: (BARK!)

JUNO: Then go home, kid.

Go home.

SOUND: SPLASHING.

JUNO (NARRATOR): So I watched her hop away. She seemed… happy.

RABBIT: (IN BACKGROUND) (GROWLS)

JUNO (NARRATOR): And that’s when the big rabbit ran over and socked me in the face.

RABBIT: (ROARS)

SOUND: PUNCH.

JUNO: Oof!

SOUND: BIG SPLASH.

H-hey, come on! I know you were scared, but—

SOUND: PUNCH, SPLASH.

Oof!

The hell do you want from me? Money? I got creds, but you have to get off me—

RABBIT: (ROARS, GROWLS)

SOUND: PUNCHES.

JUNO (NARRATOR): This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how the rabbits were. They’d never turn down creds and they never made those noises and they were never… this angry.

I reached for my blaster. But the rabbit had a desperate quickness I’d never seen before and in a second my gun was spinning over his shoulder.

RABBIT: (ROARRRRRR)

SOUND: PUNCH. PLOP.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The rabbit reared back to howl. He still had crumbs and frosting in his fur, big soft belly for scratching, just like all the rabbits I knew. But this one was burned, too. Charred trenches of fur and skin running along his sides, part of one ear gone.

And he looked… so scared. Pissed-off and powerless; like if he couldn’t pin down and punch all those Theia bots, or the human race, or death itself… he was ready to settle for me.

I still had my plasma knife, but I couldn’t stab him. I couldn’t let Ramses make me kill again.

RABBIT: (ROARS)

SMALL FRY: (SQUEAKING)

JUNO (NARRATOR): Small Fry ran up to the rabbit and tugged on his tail. The rabbit nearly jumped out of his fur, and didn’t even look behind him before he kicked one of those huge legs back at the kid.

RABBIT: (RAHHH!)

SOUND: PUNCH. PLOP, SPLASH.

SMALL FRY: (WHIMPERING)

JUNO (NARRATOR): I’ve never seen a rabbit do that. This rabbit had never seen it, either. Looked like he’d spend the rest of his life wishing he hadn’t. Then he turned, and I saw that he was ready to blame it all on me.

RABBIT: (PANTING, BIG HOWL)

JUNO (NARRATOR): A few months ago I might’ve let him, too. That’s what a hero’s for, right? Taking all the hits so the innocent don’t have to, while the ones causing all the pain sit in the stands and watch, blood and popcorn butter sticky on their fingertips.

I was done with that. Instead, I was gonna give the rabbit some advice. So I turned the volume on my comms all the way up.

SOUND: INCREASINGLY LOUDER BEEPS.

RABBIT: (ROARRRR)

JUNO (NARRATOR): And right when he was about to crush my skull… I jammed my comms into his ear and pressed play.

SOUND: FEEDBACK SCREECH. BLIP.

JACKET (FROM COMMS): (VERY LOUD, OVER THE BELOW) We may look backward only to ensure we have not walked this path before.

RABBIT: (OVER THE ABOVE) (HOWL OF PAIN)

SOUND: BLIP. SPLASH.

JUNO: Whaddaya know? Looks like that advice just saved my life, too.

SOUND: SPLASHING FOOTSTEPS.

Stay down, cottontail. I’m not kidding.

SOUND: LOW ELECTRIC HUM.

(OVER THE BELOW) See this? Plasma knife. Real hot; real sharp. I don’t want to hurt you, but if you come any closer, I’ll have to.

RABBIT: (OVER THE ABOVE) (GROWLS)

JUNO: Take the kid and go. This’ll kill you, you understand? Dead.

Stop! Neither one of us wants this!

RABBIT: (BIG GROWL)

JUNO (NARRATOR): But he kept running towards me. And he knew he wouldn’t win. I’m just not sure he cared.

He was almost on top of me. I knew I’d do it if I had to, and… that’s when I heard the first shot.

SOUND: BIG BLASTER SHOT. ELECTRIC WHIR.

THEIA: (AFTER A PAUSE) Targets detected.

SOUND: CREAKING.

JUNO (NARRATOR): A big Theia bot stood in front of me and its first laser sizzled in the wall behind.

The bot had Small Fry pinned between a wall and the end of its cannon.

SMALL FRY: (BARKING)

JUNO: Dammit, no, no, no…!

RABBIT: (GROWLS)

THEIA: Come closer. Rabbit.

JUNO: …What?

RABBIT: (GROWL?)

THEIA: Come closer. I will tell you. When. To stop.

SOUND: SPLASHING FOOTSTEPS.

Closer. Just. A little closer. Real close. There.

SMALL FRY: (YIP!)

SOUND: PLOP.

THEIA: Your little one.

SMALL FRY: (BARKS, MEWLS)

RABBIT: (GRRRRRR)

THEIA: Now please leave. And be careful. Bunnies.

SMALL FRY: (BARKS)

SOUND: SPLASHING FOOTSTEPS FADE.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The two ran, and Small Fry never looked back. I was proud of her. We may look backward only to ensure we have not walked this path before, right? Wherever those rabbits were going, whatever home awaited them… they’d definitely never been there before.

THEIA: You. Stay there.

SOUND: CREAKING.

JUNO: (HEAVY BREATHING)

SOUND: CREAKING STOPS. HISS OF STEAM.

THEIA: Are you injured. User. Mista Steel.

JUNO: Mista…

(STARTS LAUGHING, OVER THE BELOW)

THEIA: Because. Um. Ramses wants to see you aboveground. And. Somethin’ somethin’. No. Don’t say. Somethin’ somethin’. Say—

JUNO: Rita?!

THEIA: —somethin’, you—

JUNO: Rita, is that really you?

THEIA: No. I’m. Um. What’s this thing called. Tara. Teyona. Let me. Look it up.

JUNO: Rita! God, I am glad to see… whatever the hell robot this is.

THEIA: This is. The Theo’s Spectacles.

JUNO: Wait– you yelled at the bot for saying “somethin’ somethin’,” which means you must be able to hear it.

THEIA: Nuh-uh.

JUNO: Rita…

THEIA: Who’s that. She sounds nice.

JUNO: Just drop the joke, alright? I’ve been looking for you for days, I’m filthy, I’m tired, so just tell me where the hell you are!

THEIA: Oh. Does it make you worried. Not knowing. Where very pretty user. Rita is?

JUNO: Rita, I said—

THEIA: ‘Cause maybe. Then. She should disappear for weeks instead. Not say anything. ‘Cause that would definitely make you. Less worried. And not way more worried. Ain’t that right. Boss?

JUNO: (AFTER A PAUSE) Oh, I…

(QUIETLY) What did I do?

Rita, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

…Rita?

THEIA: The Theia Order. Is shutting. Down.

SOUND: POWERING DOWN.

JUNO: Rita? Rita?!

…No.

Please…

SOUND: THUMPING ON METAL.

No! Damn it, no! No!

I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Rita; and, I know that’s not enough. I know how sour a sorry tastes when it comes from someone who’s apologized before and never changed a thing. I know you’ve got no reason to believe me, but…

SOUND: METAL CLUNK.

Please don’t leave me here, Rita. You’ve got every reason to, but… I’m tryin’ to get better. I really want to get better, maybe for the first time in my life since the HCPD, and… I’m just so scared that it’s too late, and everybody’s already smartened up and gone, and maybe you should, but please, please—

RITA: Hi Mista Steel.

JUNO: (YELPS, PANTING) How long were you behind me?

RITA: Just for the last ‘please please.’ I miss anything you wanna say again?

JUNO: I, uh…

I’m sorry, Rita. I’m just… so sorry. It won’t happen again.

…Rita?

SOUND: THWUMP.

Oof!

RITA: I missed you, boss. I was real worried.

JUNO: I know. I hear you. For once. (DEEP BREATH) And I missed you too, Rita. Really.

RITA: (SNIFFLING)

JUNO: What? What’s the matter?

RITA: (SNIFFING/CHOKING BACK TEARS) We just… ain’t never hugged this long before, boss. (SWALLOWS) It’s nice.

JUNO: Oh. Yeah, it’s…

(CLEARS THROAT) Anyway, uh… I got a map, and it says there should be a way out just over—

RITA: Oh, yeah. The whole system’s bein’ shifted around, boss. None’a your maps are gonna work anymore.

JUNO: Shifted around for what?

RITA: Oldtown, I guess. But anyway, I figured out the way up before I even came down here because you know me, Mista Steel, I’m all for an adventure but as soon as it’s one that might get one’a my three S’s wet, I gotta get in and out. That’s right, my shoes, snacks, and salmon sausage snacks, so—

JUNO: You know a way up?

RITA: I do! Wanna go see? I was hopin’ we’d be able to bring that big puppet I hacked into with us, but it ain’t exactly gonna fit through the manhole. Or up the ladder, which I learned ‘cause at first I had two ways out but then I broke one, you’re never gonna believe how, boss, it was—

JUNO: With the big robot, right. Listen, Rita, I want to hear that whole story, I really do, but can we do it someplace we’re not covered in slime?

RITA: That’s a great idea, boss. This way.

SOUND: SPLASHING FOOTSTEPS.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): (FADING IN) …let’s look at that moment one more time. Opening day at Polaris Park. Moments after Takano’s last employee check-in. The silent, solitary moment in which his departure flipped from an idea to an action.

We can’t know what he was thinking in those moments. And in the end, trying to understand every minute detail of the departed’s psyche tells us more about ourselves, in many ways, than about them. Just ask Lorenzo Vega:

VEGA (FROM COMMS): Jack was… a perfectionist. He’d made so many compromises with his park, had seen his vision so diluted. One can only conclude that the sight of it, his creation so malformed… who wouldn’t leave?

HAWK (FROM COMMS): Or Jocelyn Chen:

CHEN (FROM COMMS): He was a visionary, and that meant he had no idea what he was doing. He could help us up to greatness, but him? His sights were always going to be aimed up about a dozen feet over where he ended up, and he was always going to be bored by whatever he made. Always.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): Or Miranda Fairbanks, who wrote in her memoir:

FAIRBANKS ACTOR (FROM COMMS): Humanity needs people like Jack, I think. People who can just see how things should be, without the reality of what they are getting in the way. That’s how progress happens. And so I assume he must have seen the true way forward somewhere other than us… and run towards it.

JUNO: This ladder?

RITA: Mm-hmm.

SOUND: GRUNTS, METAL CLANKING.

HAWK (FROM COMMS): We’ve presented you with theories over these many hours, but we will probably never know why Jack Takano left us behind. The only clue we have is the audio note found in his office, once he was gone. And to conclude our program, we will play it in full.

MUSIC: STARTS (FROM COMMS).

JACK (FROM COMMS): The thing I find most beautiful about Andromeda, in the end, is this: that she can never be satisfied. I wonder now, if Orion’s curse wasn’t really a blessing for our Homeless Hero. He turned her from a protector of one city, to an active force of good the world over.

RITA: (OVERLAPPING WITH THE END OF ABOVE) What’s the holdup, boss?

JUNO: Found the manhole cover.

JACK (FROM COMMS): To find home—

JUNO: (GRUNTS)

SOUND: METAL SCRAPING.

JACK (FROM COMMS): (OVER THE ABOVE) —Andromeda always looks backwards. Polaris. Nostalgia. The paradise left behind. And this works in our stories, when we only show the shining city for a few seconds at a time. But in life, no such place exists.

RITA: Mista Steel?

JACK (FROM COMMS): If it did—

RITA: Mista Steel?

JACK (FROM COMMS): —we would already live there.

JUNO: This… this isn’t Oldtown.

RITA: I’m pretty sure it is, boss. I counted paces an’ everything.

JUNO: No. The map’s right. I’m happy to explain in a minute, Rita, just as soon as I get this cannon out of my face.

THEIA: Remove yourselves. From. The sewer. Help. Is on the way.

JACK (FROM COMMS): But there may yet be such a home. I believe we can find it. But we cannot turn our heads if it is not what we expected, or if we fear what we see when it opens its gates.

RITA: Oh no oh no oh no—

THEIA: Now put your hands up. Please.

JACK (FROM COMMS): Home is not in the past. It can’t be. And that means when we find home, when we find the perfect place we yearn for… I doubt we will even recognize it.

RITA: What is this place? What happened to Oldtown?

JUNO: Says it right there on the sign, Rita.

“Welcome to Newtown: The City of the Future.”

JACK (FROM COMMS): And so now I leave. I go now to seek the true way home, as any hero should. And I urge you to do the same. Or, at least, to accept it when it comes. I look forward to meeting you there. Jack Takano.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING, MUSIC.

CONDUCTOR: If you’ve enjoyed this tale, please consider donating to The Penumbra on Patreon. Our artists work tirelessly to bring you these stories, and if you have the means, we hope you will support our efforts. Every dollar helps. You can find that page at patreon.com/thepenumbrapodcast. If you support us on Patreon at the $10 level or higher, you’ll receive access to commentary tracks like this one, from actor Matthew Zahnzinger and co-creators Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert:

SOUND: TRAIN STOPS, DOOR SLIDES OPEN, RAIN.

SOPHIE: …There’s not anything more to it than it’s like, yeah, well I thought of it, and I’m smart, and how do I know that? Well, ‘cause I’m me, I just know.

KEVIN: Mmhmm.

SOPHIE: And there’s nobody… above him to tell him, y’know. And there’s no way of knowing for sure… what is good.

MATTHEW: Although to that point, and, to get… back on my bandwagon of every commentary complimenting Kevin’s writing, um—

SOPHIE: Could you compliment me a little bit, for once?

MATTHEW: (LAUGHING)

SOPHIE: What is this?!

SOUND: DOOR SLIDES SHUT.

CONDUCTOR: You can also support The Penumbra by liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter @thepenumbrapod, following us on Tumblr @thepenumbrapodcast, telling your friends about us, telling your friends to tell their friends about us, and especially by rating and reviewing our podcast on iTunes. Every rating, comment, and kind word spreads our stories further and inspires us to keep creating more and better tales to come.

We would like to give special thanks to all who support us on Patreon, but especially to Minchowski, Camille Blanton, Christine Kim, Rowan Collins, Garrett M, Jay Iannuzzelli, Karin Z-H, Canteloupe, Fiona Parker, Regan, Ko, Kim Zeugin, Atha Lang, Vron, Charlie Spiegel, and Jaimie Gunter for their incredibly generous contributions per episode. Thank you.

Did you know that The Penumbra has merchandise for sale? It’s true! The Penumbra has partnered with DFTBA to bring you the posters, shirts, and pins your heart desires. Just go to dftba.com and search for The Penumbra Podcast.

This tale, Juno Steel and the Long Way Home, was told by the following people: Joshua Ilon as Juno Steel, Matthew Zahnzinger as Jack Takano and Ramses O’Flaherty, Marge Dunn as Hawk Hackett, Bob Mussett as Lorenzo Vega, Melissa Barker as Jocelyn Chen, Allison Choat as the Miranda Fairbanks reader, Sophie Kaner as the Theia and Small Fry, and Kate Jones as Rita.

The Penumbra is created and produced by Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert. If you wish to know more about our ever-expanding, infinitely-creative team of artists, musicians, editors, designers, and managers, you can read about them in the show notes of this episode.

I’m afraid this is the end of the line for today, dear Traveler. We hope you will ride with The Penumbra again soon.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

[nahaslo]

Shelterdog.pet petz 4 file

Shelterdog.pet petz 4 file how to#

Shelterdog.pet petz 4 file plus#

I can’t believe how many animal puns are out there. We guarantee you’ll laugh out loud at least once when you read these! Menu. (The kitten was born without a pectoral muscle.). Let’s get this list of punny cat names started by looking at ideas for female cats. You can come up with your own pun-based dog names by replacing part of a common name with canine-centric words like bark, arf, woof, pup, pooch, chew, paw-you get the idea. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. If you have a male fish and are looking for a unique name, consider these pun choices. The The Big Bang Theory star named her cat after the metal in Wolverine's claws because "she has metal inside her." Dogs Cats All. Miley Cyrus – Emu, Mate and Sophie (Shetland Sheepdog, German Shepherd, Maltese-Toy Poodle, respectively) 8. The theme today however is animals, lots of them. Aunt Messy, if you are keeping your Betta in two gallons are less, they will be very stressed by water changes. Not only these fish puns are absolutely hilarious, but they also might relieve you from the stress of picking your new pets' name. This cute list of funny dog puns includes pet puns for pound puppies, old dogs, and various dog breeds in between. (Alas, we were unable to track down photos of every single pet. The legendary chihuahua split his 14 years between two homes: Faithfully tucked in Hilton's purse, or lazing around in a custom, just-for-him, two-story mansion. Avoid an infestation by knowing the warning signs. Eric Khachatourian - This is an example of a visual pun. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. These are the absolute top that we came up with. We all know that this is not entirely true, and even pet store employees might get bored from all the animal friendships from time time. If you ever buy one of these fish, you definitely won't be needing to change them. It’s best if the dog-themed replacement rhymes or starts with the same letter as the original. The bettas I've had live between 4 and 5 years in perfect health. Twitter user criminalcal shared a photo she snapped at an unknown pet store which has funny names of all their betta fishes picked out. If you have any group ideas for the Dog Name Puns page, we would love to hear them. And for some actually good nomenclature, don't miss the 30 Best Celebrity Baby Names of All Time. Don't risk misdiagnosis by doing it too soon, CDC says. What’s a comprehensive list of dog puns without funny pun names? (And no, I will not apologize for that pun.) They are not. Likewise with Hathaway and her Star Wars-inspired pup. Oh, but your creativity spikes and you can come up with some ingenious jokes as good as these funny names for animals spotted in some aquarium fish store. As such, the only parts of Eye in the Dark you could see were, well, the eyes. celebrity life So stupid, yet so funny: Best celebrity name puns of all time. A lot of research has gone into the memory span of fish (this article is just a popular science example), and the '3 seconds memory span of goldfish' theory has long been debunked. The names are there to attract attention, nothing more.

Shelterdog.pet petz 4 file plus#

Your list has given me some more inspiration (I hadn’t got any “Grrrr” ones, plus several others). Bettas hail from river eddies and still areas. They’ll live their entire lives chained to whichever string of letters you decide.///.

Shelterdog.pet petz 4 file how to#

Celebrity food puns came out all over the shop and we didn’t quite know how to stop. Yes, we're aware that the true star of Legally Blonde 2 is fictional. The world-renowned chef named his cat after a dish even the least competent cook (yours truly) can throw together. We've compiled a list of some of the best cow puns. Such hilarity! The reason you here about that so often is because they will often jump into puddles and shallow areas, but they usually die sooner when they do. Please enter your email to complete registration. The song "Pablow the Blowfish," from Miley Cyrus & Dead Petz, is dedicated to the blowfish. Additionally, celebrity name puns are also a common theme for dog names.