#i need to get 8 hours of sleep and stop stressing about everything for a moment | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

venluming · 11 months

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Meltdown (Petrigrof)

Wordcount: 2.05k.

Type: One-Shot, SFW

Warnings: None, really.

Summary: After a long, stressful day, Simon has a meltdown and Betty helps him through it.

Extra Notes: Hello, hello! I’m writing again, yay!! I felt proud enough to post this little one-shot of Petrigrof! I don’t see enough fics that depict Simon as autistic, so I wrote one myself! And… it’s him having a meltdown, haha— but hey, it’s something! This is also based on a personal experience of mine, so there’s that. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

With the gentle pattering of rain against the window and the warm air flowing through the heater in the corner, Betty sank into the covers of her bed, bundled up in her favorite brown, woolen blanket. Beside her was a hot mug of lemon balm tea that she occasionally sips to help her go to sleep.

In her hand, she held a sketchpad with small sketches of random objects around the room, assumingly for an art project, or maybe just as general practice. She had recently begun picking up this hobby again, as she had been so busy with other things, such as her expeditions and research papers for other minor classes she had. Betty enjoyed making pieces for herself, although she very seldom mentions her love for art to others for reasons of… well, no one really cared enough to ask.

Well, all except Simon.

Speaking of Simon…

It’s just about 8 PM right now. It’s pretty dark, and Simon still hasn’t come home from his afternoon class. Betty mused on where he might’ve gone. Perhaps working a bit later than usual, which was a somewhat common occurrence with him. He’s known to be quite the workaholic…

‘I wish he wouldn’t push himself so hard…’ Betty thought, frowning slightly.

No matter, she’ll have to give him a good “scolding” when he arrives home.

…Well, not an actual scolding. He hated getting those, as it always triggered his PDA.

After a bit of time passes, she’s finally finished and decided to put a pin in it for tonight. Her main worry seems to be her lover who still hasn’t arrived yet. What was he doing?

“He’s probably just working a little late, Betty. Nothing to worry about..” Betty mumbled, taking a sip of her tea and letting out a soothing hum. What a wonderful, serene-feeling taste.

Just then, Betty heard the front door slam from downstairs. Betty quickly turns towards the bedroom door and begins to climb out of bed but pauses when heavy footsteps start trudging up the stairs, then stopping momentarily. She waited quietly for any sudden movement when the quiet steps grew louder as they approached the door.

As expected, the door swung wide open, which startled Betty a little. Standing there was a… sopping wet cat who seemed to have, unfortunately, been caught in the storm of the hour. His clothes were drenched in rainwater, dripping onto the floor. His tousled hair cast downward as it stuck to his cheeks and forehead— but he desperately wiped the stray hairs away from his wet face. He looked… terrible —with his vest and shirt slightly unbuttoned to where the collar barely touched his neck, his bow tie clenched tightly in his hand.

Simon stood in the doorway for a moment with his head hung low. It felt like, as soon as he stepped through, he just… fell apart. His hands found his head and he gripped a fistful of dark brown locks, then an exasperated and strangled groan tumbled out of his throat. Betty immediately ran to his side, attempting to touch his face but he jerked back from her, vigorously shaking his head. Betty was a little confused and slightly perturbed at first, but upon observing him more, his body language told her everything she needed to know. The way he trembled in front of her, arms up in a more defensive position like a scared little kitten despite having his hands tangled in his hair. Betty knew what this was.

“Okay, no gentle touching, alright.. uhm ,” Betty made her way to one of the lamps in her room and turned it off. “Here, I’ll turn off some of the lights for you, okay?”

Simon nodded, running a hand through his soggy locks. Glob, he was so glad to be home, home to his lover. She always knew what to do when he had these moments. Moments where his body shut down and wouldn’t cooperate with him no matter how hard he tried. Moments where every single article of clothing on his body felt like sandpaper scraping against his skin. How much it hurt to utter a single word. No matter how much he might’ve wanted to, it felt like walking barefoot on pins and needles while everyone else but him came prepared with steel-toe boots.

Simon’s wet clothes clung to his shivering body. He hated the feeling of wet clothes, he hated it. He desperately peeled the clothes off his body and they hit the floor with a gentle ‘thump ’. Betty scrounges around in the closet for his favorite blanket while glancing back at her lover every few minutes. She could feel him trembling from afar, even as warm air encircled him, and in those moments, she wished that she’d been there when this first started so she could have helped him through it.

“Okay, let’s get you wrapped up,” Betty pulls out the navy blue blanket and scurries over to him. He seemed to have already stripped himself of his clothes, to which she wrapped the soft blanket around his shivering body and led him to their bed. “I’ll get you some water… do you want some water?”

Wiping his tear-stained face, Simon nods and tries to bask in the warmth of his blanket and the heat from the heater, now that he laid closer to it. Betty opens the door and glances back at Simon with a gentle smile before closing the door and running down the stairs.

Not long after, Betty comes back with the water and places it on his bed stand. He seemed to have dove under the covers again with only his head poking out from his blanket. Betty chuckles, climbing over to the other side of the bed and laying beside him. Upon observing him closer, his scleras were bloodshot red, like he’d been crying for a while. Simon scooted closer and stared into her eyes for a moment before looking at the sketch pad in the space between them. Betty slowly turned to the book and picked it up, placing the pad in his lap. She figured he might want to say something without straining his voice since he’d gone non-verbal.

Simon’s hand snakes out from beneath the covers and he takes the pencil attached to the pad then flips to a blank page. Betty watches him curiously as he begins to write something down in a slow, gradual manner, his face softening the more he writes. He flipped the page over and she couldn’t help it when the corners of her mouth rose to her cheeks.

“Thank you, I love you”

Betty resisted the urge to take him into her arms and pepper his face with kisses. Alternatively, she takes his free hand and squeezes it firmly.

“I love you too, Simon.”

Simon flips the pad back around and begins scribbling something else.

“I need more pressure”

Realizing what he meant, Betty nods and begins climbing on top of him, aligning the side of her face with his own, and dropping most of her body weight onto him.

“Howzzat? That enough for you? Twice for no, once for yes.

Simon taps her once and she smiles against his face. She looks to him for permission, which he does give, then proceeds to wrap her arms around him and give him a firm squeeze. A small giggle escaped his lips as Betty held him in her arms.

After a while, Betty found herself growing more drowsy by the hour. Really, she had only been rambling to Simon about her day and other miscellaneous things. Only after a few minutes of talking did she hear the gentle snoring of the man who’d curled up beside her with the slow rise and fall of his chest. She thought that now it might be a good note to end off for tonight.

Leaning over the sleeping man, she pulls the cord to their dimmed lamp light then snuggles up against him. With a soft glittering of her eyes, she drifts into a soundless, serene sleep.

────────────────────

“Mmhh… five more… minutes…”

A chuckle escaped the man’s lips as he shook his lover once more. Betty stirred but her eyes stayed shut. After a few more gentle shakes, Betty groaned, rubbing her eyes before sitting up slightly and opening her groggy eyes to look at him. She sighs and gives him a tired smile.

“Ah, morning… how’d you sleep?”

Simon pressed his lips against her forehead. “I slept alright, you?”

Betty’s smile only grew when she heard his voice. Ever since last night, he’d been quiet as a church mouse, so hearing his voice again, it quelled that lingering anxiety she didn’t realize she had inside.

“Heyyy, you’re talking again! And I slept alright myself. I’m assuming you’re feeling better after your meltdown last night…”

“Indeed,” Simon lays against the bed frame, his bare chest exposed to the warmth of their room. “Thank you, again… last night was really… stressful— for me. I—uhm… glob, I was suppressing that for a while…”

Betty pouts, gently jabbing him in his side. “You dumb-dumb, why did you suppress it? You know that’s not good and… you can step out of class, you don’t need to prioritize your work if your nervous system is donking out!”

“Ahm— I was doing another presentation, and a lot of smaller things kept building up… and before I knew it, it almost happened— in the middle of it. That same guy threw another… book at me today. Starting to reconsider this whole thing, honestly…”

Betty huffed. “Again?? Who was it, was it the same guy? I should really teach that guy a lesson—“

“No, no… it’s okay,” Simon waved his hands. “You don’t… it’s fine. Please don’t.”

“No, because what’s this guy’s fascination with throwing shit at you??”

Simon shrugs. “No idea, but it’s fine. I’ll manage.”

“Simon…”

“I promise it’s fine, dear. If it’ll make you feel better, the next time it happens, I’ll give them a lecture on presentation etiquette, how does that sound?”

That was mostly a joke.

“You sound like you want a book to be thrown at you.”

Simon chuckles, scratching his nape. “Alright, bad joke.”

Betty chuckles right along with him until they’re both laughing at his really stupid lecture joke. The laughter soon died down though as the two climbed out of bed, raising their arms to stretch.

It only took Simon a few seconds to realize he wore only his underwear, which he remembered was a result of yesterday where his damp clothes lay bundled still near the doorway, so he made his way towards the closet to search for his spare PJs he’d leave here in her room.

Betty, being her usual self, stares lovingly at his backside, especially towards the lower region. She folds her arms and smirks to herself.

“Hey, are you working on your glutes?”

Simon blinks, trying to process what she just said. He slowly turns around, perplexed. “What?”

“Like… glute exercises.”

It took him a minute, but it finally clicked and his cheeks began to burn at the question. He rolls his eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Oh, haha . Ass joke, funny. I don’t… workout, that’s just how it naturally looks.”

“That just makes it better!”

“Betty.”

Betty giggles, embracing him from behind and nuzzling into his cheek. “Okay, okay… I get it, too early…”

He huffs. “Way too early…”

“Apologieees— I’ll go make us some breakfast while you change . What’re you in the mood for?”

Simon finally finds his blue and white-striped pajamas. He slips on and buttons the shirt and then the pants. “Pancakes.”

“Cool, cool!”

As Betty quickly exited the room, Simon stood beside the closet, pondering over the events of last night. How fast she was able to catch onto his symptoms, how loving and caring she was during the ordeal, how safe he felt when he finally let himself break down in front of her, which he hadn’t done in a while.

His lips curled into a warmer smile, feeling content.

He’s really happy to be with such an amazing person. He wouldn’t trade her for anything else in the world.

“I should help her with breakfast…” He finally said, closing the closet door and making his way downstairs to his soon-to-be wife.

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fangirltothefullest · 2 years

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It's time to fix Logan's Scheduling Problems(TM)

@ironwoman359 had a really good post and it inspired this one because I could not stop breaking down Logan's priorities chart. I have boarded the hyperfixation express and taken it all the way down to the dreaded mathville just to think about graphs and charts. Oh dear. This is so unlike me. But the chart is so funny and they actually took a decent amount of time to think through the amounts of time spent on each task, allowing us to break down the original schedule before it was "fixed" to adjust for Roman.

So buckle up because I have double checked the math but I am very adhd and often quite a bit stupid from stress related brainfog so who fuckin knows if this is accurate.

LET'S GOOOOOOO

This is Logan's original proposed schedule which I borrowed from @ironwoman359's post:

We can see it's a nice chart, lovely and hand made which I greatly enjoy. And luckily we have numbers to work with so we can figure out exactly how much time is alotted to what based on the percentages in a 24 hour day.

And oh guess what! They're ridiculous numbers designed specifiily to allow that 0.5% for Dreams but I'll get to that in a moment.

If you're anything like me, (quite a but math stupid) those percentages don't really give enough info on how long they're actually taking for each just by looking at it. So here's the breakdown in hours because finding out how many hours each thing accounts for should give us an idea of Logan's priorities.

40% - Work (9.6 hours - oof)

33% ‐ Sleep (7.92 hours)

12.5% - Eat (3 hours)

8% - Exercize (1.92 hours)

4% ‐ General Hygene (57.6 minutes)

2% - Dental Hygene (28.8 minutes - mega oof)

0.5% - Dreams (7.2 minutes - fuckin ouch)

As we can see, Logan's chart is heavily skewed to work, sleep and eating. But these numbers are still potentially hard to understand. "Why does it say 57.6 minutes?" You might be asking. So we will round those numbers to a more understandable range because ideally we are trying to add up to 24 hours:

Work: 10

Sleep: 8 hours

Eat: 3 hours

Exercize: 2 hours

Gen. Hygene: 1 hour

Dental Hygene: 30 minutes (seriously, oof)

At this point when we round, that is 24.5 hours which already goes over so we are obligated to round one down instead of up for the sake of the 24 hours- we will round work to 9 hours 30 minutes instead of ten hours and this still leaves no room for dreams or recreation of any kind at all. We can assume this was the ORIGINAL proposed schedule before the changes. That's why he's got such weirdly specific numbers. He's alotted time specifically for dreams by taking minutes from everything except eating and work, leaving only 7-ish minutes.

Which is bullshit so let's break this down in each one to validate each choice's logic:

Work: 9 and a half hours

This is way too much. Therefore, we will snag an hour and put it aside for later and snag that other 30 minutes for breaks.

Conckusion- 8 hours for work and 30 minutes for breaks.

Number of time saved: 1 hour

Sleep: 8 hours

The recommended amount of time, we will not touch this number.

Number of time saved: N/A

Eat: 3 hours

1 hour per meal and since c!Thomas canonically rarely cooks, it is an ample amount of time to heat up something quick and enjoy the meal. We can count this number as untouchable as well.

Number of time saved: N/A

Exercise: 2 hours

This is our second potentially flexible number. It's recommended 30 minutes every day to be healthy, not two full hours so there is a potential hour and a half that could be taken here for something else. This is important.

Number of time saved: 1 hour and 30 minutes

Gen. Hygene: 1 hour

This accounts for shower time and presentability time, IE hair brushing and clothes. This is a decent amount of time and could leave room for flexibility as not everyone needs an hour, however we will leave this time to itself.

Number of time saved: N/A

Dental hygene: 30 minutes

Oh boy what the actual fuck Logan. The American Dental Association says the recommended amount of time for brushing yoir teeth is 2 minutes 2 times a day. That's 4 minutes, not 30. Then it's plus 1 minute for wetting the toothbrush and applying toothpaste, and another 2 minutes of wiggle room for a once a day flossing. Plus another minute or whatever for mouthwash or something else.

Conclusion- We will generously round this number to 10 minutes for dental hygene.

Number of time saved: 20 minutes.

That brings us to a total of 2 hours and 50 minutes for literally everything else and this is a good number. Thats almost 3 hours worth of time we can be slotting to dreams and leisure acrivities and also socializing!

So now we have it folks, we have a better understanding of why the schedule is fucked and how we can fix it to satisfy much more with this improved breakdown:

Work: 8 hours (fixed)

Sleep: 8 hours (fixed)

Breaks: 30 minutes (fixed)

Eating: 3 hours (fixed)

Exercise: 30 minutes (fixed)

General hygene: 1 hour (fixed)

Dental hygene: 10 minutes (fixed)

Dreams: 50 minutes (flexible)

Liesure: 1 hour (flexible)

Social: 1 hour (flexible)

Logan hire me to fix your schedule sir

#sanders sides

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oscurascout · 2 months

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Y/N As A Doublegänger

From "That's Not My Neighbor" game

Note - I think, I'm going to update between Fridays to Sundays, those are my only free days 🥲 Also I change the plot a bit, since I got this idea from watching a YouTube video.

Part 6 (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11)

After I got back to my apartment, I enjoyed a delicious dinner with a peaceful mind.

The next day, I planned to do nothing other than enjoy my day off. I started with breakfast and watched a good TV show. After that, I intended to just sleep and recharge my energy, but I was interrupted by someone approaching my room. I quickly stood up and opened the door.

It was a neighbor I had not seen before. “Oh hello, how may I help you?” I said with a smile. The neighbor looked a little taken aback. “Crap! I forgot I'm supposed to be acting like Y/N!” I thought, panicking. Yet my panic subsided when they smiled back.

Lady - “Hello, I'm Mia. I was wondering if you would join our cooking class this time”

“Cooking class?” I asked, a bit confused; after all, I didn’t understand why they needed to cook.

Mia - “Yes! Thank you for listening this time. I guess the rumors about you changing are true”

“Huh? What rumors?” I asked, feeling a little nervous.

Mia - “Oh, nothing! Don't stress about it. Anyway, today at 4, we will have a cooking class in Room 4 on the second floor, in case you want to drop by.”

“Let me think about it,” I said, weighing the pros and cons.

Mia - “Sure, you know where to find us”

She was about to leave, but I stopped her. “Oh, um, in case I do go, do I have to bring anything?” I asked, a little worried since Y/N didn’t have a lot of things in their kitchen.

Mia - “Oh, no! Nacha already has everything. But if you want to learn a specific recipe, you're welcome to bring your own ingredients”

I nodded as she walked away. I closed the door and started thinking, “Maybe I should go; that way, I can learn more things.” I glanced at the clock. “Mmm, so in 3 hours. All right, I'll take a nap in the meantime,” I thought, heading to the couch and lying down, ready for a short rest.

When I opened my eyes, I sat up and looked around for a bit. Then I glanced at the clock—it was already a few minutes after 4! I quickly stood up, tidied myself up a little, and left my apartment.

Once I reached the second floor, I searched for Room 4. When I found it, I knocked, and the door immediately swung open.

Mia - *happy* “You're finally here!”

She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. I could hear laughter coming from another room. Mia guided me toward the kitchen, and as I looked around, I noticed that this apartment was bigger than mine. “Probably because more people live here” I thought as I saw several photo frames.

Mia - “Everyone, this is Y/N! They will be with us today!”

All eyes turned to me, making me a little nervous. I recognized some of them, or at least I thought I did.

Angus - *smiling brightly* “Y/N! Good to see you here!”

Lady - “Hello, I'm Nacha, and I'll be your instructor. Oh, and this is my little assistant, my daughter Anastacha”

Anastacha - “Nice to meet you or whatever”

Angus - *pushing a man with glasses forward* “This is Steven, Steven this is Y/N, the one I've been talking about”

Steven didn’t say anything; he merely nodded and extended his hand to me. I gladly shook it. Another man also extended his hand. I looked at him; he was wearing a black hat. I shook his hand, feeling happy.

Man - “I’m Roman; it’s nice to see you again”

“Sorry? I don't think we've met before,” I replied, hoping that Y/N had indeed never met Roman.

Roman - “Yes, we haven't met properly, but I’ve seen you in the mornings when you go out the front doors”

I let out a sigh of relief. Nacha then clapped her hands, gathering everyone’s attention.

Nacha - “Alright, everyone, now that the introductions are done, let’s get started!”

Angus pulled me to his side, putting me in the middle of him and Steven, and once Nacha saw that we were all ready, she began her lesson.

After a few minutes, I got stuck in step 2. “How do I boil this again?” I wondered as I tried to turn on the heating machine.

Angus - *coming over* “Ha ha, my friend, you look like a caveman! Let me help you”

He easily turned on the heating machine. “Wow, you must be experienced with this machine” I said as I placed the pot on the fire.

Angus - *smiling* “It’s called a stove”

I flinched a little, worried that it might blow my cover.

Roman - *chiming in* “It’s still a machine”

I noticed that Roman was doing something completely different from us. While we were making something called 'pasta,' he was preparing something called 'cake.' “Why are you making cake instead of pasta?” I asked curiously.

Roman - “Today is mine and my wife's anniversity, so I want to make her a little something special”

“And how is a cake different from pasta?” I asked, not understanding. I didn’t know much about human culture, but I could feel that this 'cake' was special—so why not pasta too?

Roman - “Well, pasta would be good too, but I want her to enjoy a cake made by me to show how much I love her and how I remember the day we finally got marry”

Angus - “I’m sure she will be delighted!”

Roman nodded and thanked us. Suddenly, someone turned off my fire.

Anastacha - “It’s going to burn, you need to be careful or whatever”

“Oh, thanks,” I replied, watching the water with the pasta in it.

Anastacha - “You need to drain it”

“Why? Can’t we just eat it like that?” I asked, still not understanding. “Actually, couldn’t we have eaten it before we boiled it?” I questioned, confused about the whole process.

Anastacha - “Uhh, no, Unless you want to, but we need to cook almost everything we eat. If you don’t, you could get diseases and such. Why? You ask as if you’re not hu—” *interrupted*

Angus - *quickly butting in* “Ha ha! Seems my friend is a little too accustomed to fast food!”

“Huh? Fast food? Oh! No, I actually always eat TV dinners,” I said with a smile.

Nacha - *overhearing the conversation* “Do you always eat TV dinners? I know you may be busy, but those can be bad for you.”

“Well, I eat one a day, and I’m pretty strong, so it doesn’t harm me. Though they are a bit cold,” I replied while draining the pasta.

Nacha - “Well, if you only eat one a day, then I guess it’s okay. But still, you should try to eat a variety of foods. Also, if it’s still cold after heating it up, you just need to put it in the microwave for a bit longer or move the food around”

“Huh? Microwave? What’s that?” I asked, not understanding what she meant. “Could this 'microwave' be another machine?” I wondered as I noticed that everyone fell silent.

#that's not my neighbor #thats not my neighbor #y/n as a doublegänger #nacha mikaelys #anastacha mikaelys #tnmn #angus ciprianni #roman stilnsky #steven rudboys

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strangerthings-01 · 2 years

Note

Hi. How are you?

I see you are asking for requests for Eddie and reader. Could I get one where the reader is working a lot of hours at her job, including working at home as well. And she is barely eating or sleeping, and he becomes really concerned for her. She is almost at total collapse.

This is happening in my life right now. Thanks in advance. 😁❤️

Absolutely! Thank you for the request! Also I am sorry you are in that state. Make sure to take care of yourself hun. You're important. I hope this is okay!!!!

Overload

Summary: Y/N is constantly working whether it was at home cleaaning and making things tidy or being at your actual job working a bunch of extra hours because it was short staffed and you needed money. You couldn't catch a break but you couldn't stop. But eddie started noticing you not eating as much and your sleep schedule was ruined. He has tried talking to you but to no avial until you nearly collapse and he calls it.

warnings- mentions of stress, not eating or sleeping, cussing, fighting.

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The alarm in your bedroom went off at 8 AM like it did every other day. You either worked in the morning or the night, never steady and never set. It had become a routine for you and you had gotten used to it although you really shouldn't have. You rubbed your eyes hoping to get rid of some of the sleepniess considering you had only gotten about 5 hours of sleep and pushed the cover back and slowly slid out bed, trying not to wake your boyfriend up.

Eddie had been understanding when you told him you would have to pick up extra shifts. His only concern was your health but you had promised it would only be for a couple of weeks but that turned into about 2 months now. You were either at work busting your ass or at home busting your ass. It wasn't like Eddie didn't help you around the house, he did. But you wanted things a certain way all the time so you would spend hours at a time fixing litte things after work, morning or night.

He had tried to talk to you once about it after it hit the one month mark and your eyes were always droopy and your mood alwasy down. But you convinced him you were okay and that it wouldn't be much longer and you really did think that was the case but work was hounding you and you couldn't risk losing the one job that paid you well enough. Eddie worked too as a mechanic but his paychecks sometimes came in low because of some seasons being more slow than others. You were a waitress and a lot of your money was calculated based in tips which was also why you started dressing more cute.

This morning you decided on tight jeans that cut off at the ankle and your work shirt was tied with a ponytail holder around you waist, hair into a messy not messy bun. You sighed as you put on some mascara and a light shade of lipgloss. You were rubbing your lips tgoether when you saw eddie walk into the bathroom from the mirrow, hair all over the place. Your eddie.

"Hey babe. Off to work?" He said gruffly, tiredness etched his voice. "Yeah. I'll be home around 4." He nodded and kissed your cheek. "You look beaitful babe. Do you want some breakfast before you go?" He asked as leaned agasint the sink, arms crossed over his chest. "Uh no I'm okay. I'll eat somehing there on my break but thank you." You didn't admit it but the work load had caused a loss of appetite and even thinking about eating before or during work disgusted you. You smiled and went to walk out but he pulled you back. "Hey. Is everything okay sweetheart? You're working a lot and you neevr eat before you go to work which isn't good for you. Do you even eat at work?" Your anxeity was going up at this whole conversation and you wated to end it quick.

"Okay what is up with the interrigation? I just want to go to work. I don't know why you get so worried about me? I'm a waitress, I work a lot. It's how it is." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I'm just making sure you're okay. Why do you argue with me? I'm allowed to be concenred babe." You roll your eyes and shake your head. "Jesus. I'm fine. Please stop asking every 5 minutes. I'm not gonna break so stop treating me like I'm fragile." He scoffed and pushed himself off the counter. "Well I am so sorry that I fucking care about you. You don't have to act like such a bitch."

You bit the inside of your cheek, irriation flooding through your body. "Wow so now I'm a bitch? Real classy eddie. Screw you." You went to walk away but he grabbed your wrist. "No I said you were acting like one and don't walk away from me. Stop acting like a child and just talk to me. I love you and I just want you to be okay." You yanked from his grasp and grabbed your phone off the counter. "I am okay. So leave me alone. I'm just trying to support us and it's fucking annoying that you can't see that!" You walked out but heard feet following you.

"I do see that but jesus babe you've lost weight, you're barely eating and barely sleeping. Don't think I haven't notcied because I do." You whipped around and stepped towards him. "congrats. You've notcied something. Stop worrying about it. I'm tired of you bringing it up. I'll see you when you get home." He laughed humorlessly. "Yeah. Don't think this conversation is over." You brushef him off with a wave of your hand and slammed the door on the way out.

As you made your way to the car, the stress hit your body and your entire body felt like it was shaking. You knew you blew up because he was right. You weren't eating and you weren't sleeping. You didn't understand how it had gotten so bad but you didn't want to ask for help so you never said anything. You just wanted to support your boyfriend even though he made enough to combine with your own to survive. You felt horrible as you made your way to work knowing that eddie did love you and he was concerned. You wouldn't let yourself cry though because you had to work in 10 minutes and your head needed to be cleared so you could focus on getting extra tips today.

As soon as you got there, you grabbed your apron and wrapped it around you, ready for the day to already be over. Your manager, sam, walked up to you and smiled. "good morning. um so Kayla called out for her shift tonight and I was wondering if you would work a double." You had barely clocked in and they already asking more of you. "I reallt can't tonight. I have plans with my boyfriend." You knew it was partly a lie but you needed the rest and you had worked doubles so often lately. "Well I need to know I can rely on you honey. We're super short staffed and I-" You interrupted her and sighed. "I am reliable. I worked doubles all last week and I want to go home to my boyfreind tonight so I'm sorry but no." Sam sucked at her teeth and nodded, walking away clearly upset but your mind still was wrapped around the argument just 30 minutes ago and you had to talk to him asap.

As soon as you opened, people started flooding in. Most people were nice and tipped well but others not so much. You had been yelled at and called an idiot because they ordered the wrong thing. You dealt with it every so often but it still hurt the same. Someone had also called you a pretty young thing and tried to touch you to which you stepped back but they still tipped well. It was a day full of assholes, pervs, and idiots but what's new?

Finally your shift came to an end and you hung your apron up, checking the schedule before you left. Your heart dropped when you noticed sam cut your hours. Fucking bitch. You felt tears spring to your eyes but refused to let them go at work. At that moment Sam walked into the back and you looked at her, stopping her before she could walk away. "Is there a reason you cut my hours?" Sam looked you in your eyes and faked a sad smile. "Yeah I'm sorry it's just we are really low staff and we have to have people here working as much as possible and we only want those people to have the hours."

You gaped at her. "Sam I worked doubles all last week and you're telling me the one time i decline, you cut my hours?" Sam sighed and put her hands up in defense. "It has nothing to do with you-" "Yes it does. I am not doing this with you. I've done nothing but be here, ruining my relationship with the only person who cares for me and you're tossing me aside because of one simple thing." You scoffed and walked off from her, not giving her another word.

You took a deep breath and walked out, heading to you car. Once you got in, you broke down not understanding why you're life was going to shit. You worked your ass off for them and they cut your hours because of one 'no'. After a couple of minutes, you gathered your thoughts and drove home, hopinh eddie was home which he was.

You got out of the car and felt a diziness but tried to control it as you walked into the house. A hunger pang, exhaustion, and sadness creeped its way into your body all at once and you collapsed on the floor. Eddie was in the kitchen making dinner and dropped the plate he had, glass shattering as he ran to you. "Baby. Oh my god shit. Are you okay?" You whimpered and held your stomach. "No. N-No. Eddie it hurts. everything hurts a-and you were right. I'm so sorry." You sobbed as he scooped you into his arms bridal style and laid you down in your bed after he carried you. "Hey we don't need to talk about that right now. What do you need?" You took a deep breath. "Water please."

He immediately went to grab it and brought it back to you. “What happened?” he said as he placed the back of his hand on your forehead. The coldness of his hand brought relief to your heated skin, and you close your eyes in content. “ my manager cut my hours all because I said no to working a double. She said that wasn’t the reason why but it doesn’t make sense because I’ve been working doubles for so long, so the one day I say no my hours were cut.” His breathing for a little heavier which meant he was getting angry. “ that’s it. I’m calling it. You’re gonna call and you’re gonna quit today.” you’re a shot open and you looked at him with a shocked expression. “ babe I can’t. I need a job I need money.” he shook his head. “ the video store is hiring Robin told me the other day. Look at you baby, you literally collapsed, you’re not doing OK. please quit.”

“ are you sure she’s hiring? Because I can’t risk that.” He nodded quickly. “ I promise you. I had asked her the other day because I was really worried about you. I just think it would be a better job because the hours are better and the pay is better and you would be around people who care about you, Robin and Steve. Please.” His voice cracked and you looked at him sensing the fear and sadness and him, and it broke your heart that you were making him feel this way.

“ OK. I’ll quit. But I’m gonna need help getting better because I really fucked myself over.” The sadness in your voice was hard to miss because you realized how bad it was. He sniffled and brushed some of your hair back. “ of course I will. I would do anything for you,you know that right?” it was your turn to brushed some of his hair back as you looked into his eyes. “ of course I know that and I’m so sorry for the way I treated you this morning. You didn’t deserve that.” He stroked check with his thumb. “ no I didn’t deserve that but I understand where you were coming from. You were just worried about us. About me I presume. But I promise you we can get through this.”

You looked at him with the most love in your eyes wondering how you got this lucky. “ I’m so grateful you’re in my life. I love you so much.” Your voice cracked and he leaned down to kiss your forehead. “ I love you too. We’re gonna get you better baby girl so first things first leaving that hell hole.” You chuckled and agreed with him. He placed a soft kiss your lips, but the passion was there no doubt. No doubt at all.

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader

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blissfullyecho · 2 years

Note

I'm basically addicted to staying up late. and it's fucking up my life. I have to wake up early for classes, so I have to function on an average 5-6 hours of sleep. and I've been seeing the effects too. I'm having a checkup done tomorrow to see if I have stomach ulcers (its a high possibility bc ive been having stomach issues for 2 weeks now), and my father was saying lack of sleep contributes to it. they dont know I stay up late usually reading webtoons or romance novels. I'm getting sleepy in the middle of the day, and my vitamin levels are dropping. I want to sleep well but EVERY SINGLE TIME I STAY UP. it's like this fear that I don't have enough time to read what I want during the day, so I do it at night. please help me. I'm ruining my body and I don't know how to stop. like please give me some no nonsense tips so I can slap some sense into myself. I can't do this self improvement journey if I keep giving into this and staying up late all the time.

ok here’s my no-nonsense advice:

you care about yourself and your health that little to the point that you know what’s contributing and that’s not enough to stop you? you’re right; you can’t be in a self-development journey and you’re doing the same thing that’s ruining your literal health.

you’re prioritizing reading over sleeping and your health… why? is it an escape from reality/stress/life? is it the main source of happiness? actually ask yourself and answer honestly why reading is something that is taking priority over everything else. i used to be a huge reader because i was lonely and unhappy (not saying you are but i’m using myself as an example). it was a way for me to leave my current reality and get lost somewhere else. if THAT is the case or if you are in a similar boat to where i was, you need to find the joy in getting yourself what you and your body needs: sleep. i don’t know how old you are, but 7 hours of sleep is fine. not everyone needs to feel pressured to get 8 hours.

for the reading part; i don’t know how long you’re reading for… but why read in excess (if you are)? try reading for half an hour to an hour and try not to go beyond that since you need to break the habit. also, i suggest waking up earlier and reading in the morning or before school rather than reading in the evening before bed. that way, you’re forced to stop reading and go to class or to go on with your day. so go to bed earlier and be disciplined enough to wait until the morning to read so you can dedicate a specific time each day for reading. the last thing you want to do is stop reading all together because you lack the self-control to stick to a time frame to read. try those things first and if it still is an issue, then you’ll need to work on your self-control and discipline.

#q/a #leveling up #self growth #self care #self love #self improvement #self development #personal development #that girl #level up journey #self help

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dre6ming · 2 years

Text

The delicate beginning rush

Chapter V ~ Torn

Masterlist

Chapter IV ~ decode

Chapter VI ~ my darling

Instagram photo dump masterlist

To be added to the tag click here

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader

Warning: age gap, fluff, cursing, angst … that’s all

Word count: ~7030

Plot: after a perfect day with Austin that arises many questions not only within the public, but within yourself, you feel torn. Torn between two people, as your heart seems to be more malleable than expected

Disclaimer: everything I write is fake and should be read as such. <except for the songs I reference>

"(Y/n)..." I groan in my sleep cuddling my face further into the pillow. "Wake up, we fell asleep." A hand smooths down my back, shaking me awake. As my brain finally catches up to what's happening, my eyes fly open and I jerk up. We fell asleep, we, me and Austin. Austin and me. Alone. "Easy." He's voice is soft, calm. The room is dark, meaning we've been sleeping for a few hours now, since it was daylight when we got here. I can see the sparkle of his blue eyes in the moonlight coming through the huge windows, barley being able to make out his features in the dim light. "I'm sorry" Austin smiles shaking his head, causing my body to relax a bit, but I'm still on high alert.

Looking around for my phone , I get it out of my purse, that was laying on the ground. Quickly opening the home app and turning on the lights, causing the both of us to squint our eyes in an attempt to get used to the bright room. Austin looks heavenly, with his eyes still a bit sleepy and hair disheveled. "I'm sorry." I say again, looking at my lap and fiddling with my fingers, picking at the skin there, a bad habit of mine.

He takes my hands in his, stopping my assault on my poor fingers and forcing me to look at him. "Hey, it's ok, as long as you feel better, all's good" I nod sighing at the memory of what brought us here. "I should've just taken the stupid picture with him." I say, thinking I could've easily done that and spared myself a lot of trouble. "No, you shouldn't have, people need to understand boundaries, you were nice and offered to sign something instead, he was the dick. Excuse my language." I giggle at the fact that he just excused himself for cursing. "It's ok. Yeah I guess you're right, but still." Shrugging my shoulders, I move my eyes from his face to my lap, where our hands are intertwined.

"No, stop that, it wasn't your fault and he should've been more respectful. What a perv, that's not the way you talk to a girl, to anyone for that matter." Austin is visibly still annoyed by the dude's behavior and that somehow gets my heart to pick up, beating faster in my chest. I don't know why, but seeing him care like this, just make me feel a certain type of way. Cared for? Protected? Maybe, I guess. Ugh I try to keep my mind straight and find parallels between him and Timmy, forcing myself to draw a line between friends and something more, because I know it's all in my head. I know he couldn't possibly find me attractive and even if he did, there's still so many reasons why this is wrong.

"He wasn't lying tho. About the pictures. They were for the movie. Um ... in the book, Amelia is challenged by this group of girls to take pictures of herself in lingerie and post them online. I agreed to them back then, but I'm starting to regret it now. People are sick in the head." He listens to me talk as his warm callused fingers draw circles over my hands. "Doesn't matter the context of the photos. Dude was way out of line." Austin assures me. I know that, I do. When I first took the pictures, that was the first time I saw myself a sensual person, the pictures looked good, nothing too exposing and I was beautiful in them. It's awful that the dirty mind of others had to tint that for me. The photos never bothered me, it was other people seeing them, that got me stressing out.

I look over at the clock on the wall, seeing it's 8:40 pm, late, but not too late. "Um do you want dinner or something? Or if you want to go I can call my driver to come take you back to your hotel." Was asking him to stay for dinner again, too much? Am I being inappropriate? Ugh I wish this was easier, but it's not. I don't even want to think about all the gossip that's probably going around. I'm sure if I opened my instagram right now, I'd be bombarded with pictures and comments. "Sure, if it's ok with you, I can stay for dinner." Austin answers, leaving me completely clueless about what this thing between us is supposed to be and when too much is too much.

"Ok, we can order something, what do you want?" I ask as I take my hands out of his and fight the urge to wince at the cold air hitting my skin once out of his flaming hot hands. "I'm fine with whatever, maybe we can do pizza? Or if you don't feel like ordering what would you say to some grilled cheese sandwiches?" He suggests.

"Damn I think I'd kill for one right now, Timmy makes the best" Austin giggles at me, brushing his hair back with his hands. As I move around on the couch, I notice his jacket still hanging over me like a blanket. "Well then I'll take that as a challenge. Can I?" He asks pointing in the direction of the kitchen and I nod biting my lip to stop the cheeky smile making it's way onto my face. I swear I'm acting so strange around him, almost like all the filters I usually put up in order to seem a bit more tame are just crumbling with him. And don't take this like I'm usually faking how I act or shit, but usually when I meet new people I'm more reserved and anxious, shy even, but there has almost been none of that with him. It's like we've known each other for a life time now, old friends.

Austin gets up from the couch and I do the same, taking my phone and following him into the kitchen, where he starts looking through the fridge, taking out everything he needs. I go over to the cabinet where I keep the cat food and fill their bowls, the two little angles coming to feast. "Good boys" I praise them petting their soft fur, feeling the vibrations of their purring.

Sitting down at the kitchen island, I watch as Austin moves gracefully around the place, preparing the food. He looks so in his element, it's clear that his passionate about cooking. Opening my phone I can't fight the urge to go on instagram, immediately seeing the thousands of posts about me and Austin. Pictures of me and him walking, laughing and eating. We look so good together. 'Oh my god, stop that' I scold myself, rolling my eyes at how delusional I can be. I also make the mistake to look at the comments. 90% of them are calling him a cheater and me shameless, for going after another girls boyfriend. That's actually the first time in a long while that I think of Kaia. My hands start sweating profusely and I swallow trying to make the sudden tightness in my throat go away.

"Everything ok?" Austin asks taking me out of my thoughts. I clear my throat and lick my lips, avoiding the way his eyes linger over them. "Austin does Kaia know that you're here?" I don't know how her knowing would change much, I guess in the end it would ease my mind a bit. And all that matters is that us three know the truth, that nothing is going on, the rest, can and will be ignored. He looks at me with a puzzled look, like he doesn't see my question relevant. "Yeah she does, I guess, I don't know, we don't tell each other everything."

What am I supposed to gather from that? Like what am I to make of him saying things like that? Pointing to his relationship being fake or at most not serious. It's not new or unheard of, PR stunts like this, but still. "Why?" He follows, curious to see why I'd bring that up now. "Because we were photographed together, alone, for a second time. I know it's nothing, but I don't want Kaia to get the wrong impression." He's cutting up some cheese to put in the sandwich as I speak.

"We're just friends, she knows and we don't keep tabs on each other." I nod, just friends, but the way his tone sounds - defensive, almost worries me and I can't stop the words before they come out of my mouth. "Are you two PR?" He whips his head up, looking at me and I avert my eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to assume, but it's just the way you talk about the whole thing-" he sighs, stopping me mid rambling. I look at him. "We are, but I want you to know I was against it. I believe relationships are sacred and this is just..." he pauses a second. "Just not that."

Ok I don't know what to say, what am I supposed to say? I can't say I'm sorry. He works on the food as silence fills the kitchen, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. I look at my phone, trying to occupy myself with something and I see the texts from Timmy, he must of seen the pictures as well.

Timmy💝:

Hey, today went great, I'm pretty tired so I'll probably be out cold for the rest of the day, call me tomorrow when you wake.

I smile happy to hear that his work was going great and relieved that he hasn't seen the photos yet. "Please say something!" I look up at Austin, who's eyes watch me back pleading. My mouth opens and closes, not sure what to say. Looking down he turns around to face the stove and puts the sandwiches in the pan, to cook. "I don't think less of you Austin, it's not even my business to know the insides of your relationship. I talked before thinking." He turns back at me, prompting himself on his hands, that are balled into tight fists against the black marble of the counter. "I'm not used to being the talk of everything. I knew when I got the role, it'll be like this, I almost wished I didn't get it, because of how afraid I was of all this. Then my team goes completely nuts and they have me do all these things, to arouse interest. I ruined my 10 year old relationship because of this." He stops to flip the sandwiches, quickly turning to face me.

"She, Vanessa, she tried to tell me, that it'll all get too much, that I should be cautious, but I got angry with her and we started bickering and then I was in Australia filming and we decided maybe a break would help. The next thing I know it's been months since talking and then they come to me with this." I get up and move over to him, hugging him, as he rests his head on top of mine. Austin relaxes, moving his arms to hug me back.

We hug for a while, but he takes one of his arms away at one point to turn off the stove, so the food doesn't burn. From where I'm sitting with my cheek against the soft fabric of his denim shirt, I can hear his strong heart beating and I can feel each breath he takes. "I understand how overwhelming it all can be, I'm lucky to be working with a team that understands my boundaries, but still I'm young and still at the beginning, so in the future who knows, what prepositions they might make. You are an incredible person, I can tell. I'm sure if you would take the time to apologize to her she'll understand."

"You have no idea how good it feels to have someone know about this, I haven't told anyone, I don't know why I told you, but I trust you. Feels like I've known you a lifetime." Austin's voice is low and it sends shivers down my spine as his words seep into my heart, warming it. My insides feel light and my mind cloudy, the proximity of him, suddenly being too much. The way he smells, like oranges and cloves, the way his muscles flex around me, the way his breath fans over the hair on top of my head, the way his chin rests on my head. Everything, everything is all too much. My brain can barely form coherent thoughts, in order to force me to keep my feet on the ground. I wish I could explain everything to myself, so that maybe I could find a way to deal with all these emotions. There's a magnetic field around Austin, something so enticing and scary at the same time, but the electric current cursing through my body when I'm close to him is addicting. Dangerously addicting. "Would it be weird if I said that I feel the same?" I ask cautious.

Austin's arms tighten around me, in a silent way of saying 'No, it's not'. "I don't think she wants my forgiveness and I don't know what that would do for us, she's with someone else and I no longer think of her like that. I still love her, I do, but not the same way I used to." I pull away an inch so I can look up at him, sparkling blue eyes, staring into mine.

"But wouldn't you feel better knowing that you did right by her?" He seems to think over what I just said. "I guess you're right, I owe her that and myself a bit." We break apart and I go to take out two plates for us to eat on. He places the sandwiches on each pate and we grab them, moving over to the living room. As I sit down on the couch I notice his eyes looking somewhere behind me and following his gaze my eyes land on my guitar. "I've had it since I was 8, I saved up money for it and bought it second hand. A few years ago I had it taken into a shop to be reconditioned, but I specifically asked for my Hannah Montana stickers to stay on, so they put something over them to preserve them."

Austin chuckles lightly at me talking about my old guitar. I put the plate down on the coffee table and get up to pick up the guitar. "Play something, can I hear an original?" He asks. I'm a bit reluctant about sharing any of my songs before the album is completely done, but I guess I could make an exception for him. "Ok, but you haven't heard anything, got it? Otherwise..." I motion slicing my throat and he laughs, at my silliness.

I touch the cords with the pads of my fingers and play an easy progression, trying to buy time to about which song I want to play him. "There was a time, when I was alone, with nowhere to go and no place to call home..." my voice sings as I close my eyes, getting lost in the meaning of the song. "Lost boy" is a sweet song I wrote drawing inspiration form the story of Peter Pan and how when I was young I used to dream of going to Neverland, thinking there I wouldn't feel so alone. "...I am a lost boy, from Neverland, usually hanging out with Peter Pan." I keep going.

The feeling of loneliness is one I've grown to know to be a good friend, always my companion. No matter how many people I surround myself with, there are few times I don't feel alone. So far not much has been able to push that feeling away, not Timmy, not Roxanne, not my cats, not my therapist, who I'm definitely overpaying. "...And lost boys, like me are free" sighing I finish the song and put the guitar next to me on the couch.

"You wrote that?" I nod my head, taking a small bite of the sandwich, enjoying the savory taste of it, it has the perfect amount of cheese. "It's beautiful, but it seems so sad." I can read the pity in Austin's voice, but I push that away, trying not to get caught up. "Yeah, I guess... but just, I don't know." I don't know how to explain myself, because no matter how close I feel to him, he's still just a stranger to me. "You don't need to explain, I get it, kind of." A weak smile makes it's way onto my lips, as he gestures assuring me, there's no need to explain myself.

We sit in silence, eating and when we're done, he takes the plates to the kitchen, to put them in the dishwasher. By now 10pm is rolling around and I know he has to leave soon, but I kind of wish this day would never end. As Austin comes back, I move over to my huge record collection to place my latest acquisitions. "Are you busy tomorrow?" Austin asks, making me whip my head around quickly. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't think we'll get to see each other before you leave New York, I have lots to do." He nods sitting down.

"Well I guess I should go, it was nice spending time with you. Let's keep in touch?" Austin proposes. I know I should probably say 'sure, why not' just so I could ghost him and move on, but my tongue moves before my brain gets a chance to fight it. "Yeah, of course. Um come on, I'll walk you out." He smiles brightly at me and we walk over to the door.

I wait for him to put his shoes back on and then his jacket. One of his long fingers pushes the call button for the elevator. As we wait, he looks me over, from head to toe and just before the ding of the elevator is heard, he opens his mouth to say something, but he never does. Instead he comes closer and kisses my cheek. Austin's plush pink lips, warm and wet against my skin. I'm frozen, moving a hand to his chest to prompt myself. "Goodnight (y/n)!" Has my name ever sounded so obscene? No. Has my heart ever skipped the way it just did? No.

Austin gets into the elevator and before the doors close, I mumble I quick 'goodnight', the last thing that I see being his bright smile as he chuckles shaking his head. When the door close and all that's left of him is the smell of his cologne, I touch my cheek, a ghost of his kiss still lingering there.

After forever sat in the entryway, eyes glued to those goddamn doors, like if I looked for long enough or hard enough, they would open to reveal him again. My shoulders slump as I realize how stupid I am being right now, so instead of shaming myself further I go to my room to get ready for sleep.

The getting ready part was easy, falling asleep? Different story. I'm tossing and turning, throwing fists at my innocent covers. Sighing I turn on my bed side lamp, taking my journal and pen. Putting the date down:

Feb 27th 2022

I can't seem to quiet my mind and it feels like my skin is burning for something, if I were to be honest right now I might know what it is I'm longing for. It's him... it just feels too real for it to be just in my head, he must of felt it too. Right? He's just so handsome, but there's more than surface beauty to him, there's a warmth within his soul. I know it, because I've met beautiful men and women before, but neither of them ever left me like this. I can't even find a word to describe myself right now - a mixture of too many feelings, good and bad. Should I just bite my heart and do what I do best? Put it in a song? But how would that sound? A love song for him? About him?

Tapping the pen against my chin, I take a moment to think. It needs to be a song that's not to obvious, something that could be about anyone. I just have to be vague, no mentioning his blue eyes, or honey blonde hair, or those god forsaken plump lips. Think about what I like that could be anyone else's, not just his. I really love the way he says my name, the way he wears himself, the way he looks at me. Putting pen to paper again, I start scribbling.

Maybe it's the way you say my name

Maybe it's the way you move around play your game

But it's so good

I've never felt like this before known anybody like you

Ok this sounds like it could be going somewhere, but I need to be at the piano. Jumping out of bed I rush to get the song playing through the room. Sitting down at my piano, looking over the shiny New York, I play a melody, singing my lyrics over it. "I'm in a field of dandelions, wishing on everyone that you were mine." I sing, getting lost in the music. This is my first ever love song. Love... is this really what I'm doing? Falling in love? I blink at the piano keys, my fingers stuck. Picking the pen up, I go to write down the lyrics, scratching over some of the words and replacing them with others.

Taking a deep breath I keep on playing, singing, then writing down the lyrics. By the time the song feels done, I glance at the clock, it's 3:50 am. Cursing at myself, I close my eyes, rubbing harshly at them. I need to be in the studio at 8am, so if I fall asleep now I might get 3 good hours of sleep, so I carry my heavy feet over to my bedroom, falling on the soft bed. By some miracle I do fall asleep, thankfully a dreamless sleep, so 3 hours later when my alarm wakes me up, as angry as I am at it, I'm actually excited to be in the studio and show Jack the new song.

Taking a quick shower, dressing casually in a pair of black jeans, with a simple cotton long sleeve shirt, in a cream color and a dark green teddy bear jacket on top, cause today feels colder than yesterday. Gathering my things, I feed Simba and William and after a small session of sharing kisses with them, I leave. "Morning, miss!" Matthew, my diver, smiles at me, holding the car door open. "Morning Matt, did you have a good weekend?" I like to make sure that the people who work around me are happy and know they can trust me to understand their needs as well as they understand mine. We make small talk on the way to the studio, but I can't help fidgeting in my seat, so when we get to the studio I almost burst through the door.

"Jack I just wrote a song, you need to hear" he giggles at my enthusiasm as I pull my notebook out, sitting down at the piano without even taking my jacket off. After I play him the song I turn to him expectedly. "Wow, a love song? That's new, anyone in particular?" Jack winks at me, sitting down at the computer, working around to start on the record. "N-no n-no one." He chuckles slightly at my stammering. I choose to ignore it and finally taking off my jacket, I start working with him.

Four hours later, the song is almost done, but I have to run for a photo shoot I need to do with Prada, for some of their new collection. Saying my goodbyes to Jack, I put my glasses on and add a beanie, hoping to not be recognized, but it's useless, a sea of paparazzi already waiting out for me. "(Y/n) are you with Butler?" "Is he cheating on Kaia?" "Don't you think he's too old for you?" "What were you recording?" "Should we expect an album?"

I avoid all questions and get into my car, telling Matt to drive away so we can get there in time, I still need to make it to that 3pm lunch with Joshua, which speaking of I should check if he send me the place where he'd like to meet. Opening my dms I find myself smiling the notification next to his name.

joshuatbassett:

Morning, what do you think of this place: location. It's my favorite in NY!

y/n4real.2002

Never been, but it works for me. See you at 3?

joshuatbassett:

Sure thing, can't wait 💟

y/n4real.2002:

Me neither, c u ❣️

I can't fight the blush in my cheeks and I swing my feel around like a school girl, squirming in my seat. "Good news?" Matt asks looking over at me in the rear view mirror. "Yeah" I say, pushing some hair behind my ear and looking out the window, already running in my head the different scenarios of how this could work. Since his first dm, I've been looking into him a bit and I do have to say I'm extremely smitten by him. Also I can't get his song out of my head and I've been slowly writing a song opposite to his, a different way of loving, or better yet not loving.

that.gossip.blog

Liked by fan23, hate2 and 503.382others

that.gossip.blog: y/n4real.2002 leaving the studio early this morning, after a session with jackantonoff. Now that could mean one or two things, she's either working on more original songs or she's working on something for taylorswift again. People who were there report, that she avoided all paparazzi questions and when asked about the relationship with Butler, she had no reaction, so that topic also remains a mystery.

View all comments

fan34: omg omg I'm telling you, it's an album, she must be working on an album.

↳fan2: for sure, she has to be.

↳tsfan13: an album from her would be a dream, she's Taylor's kid

hater2: ofc she would avoid questions about him 🙄

↳fan3: I don't see why she owes any expectations

↳kaiafan4: um maybe cause he's taken?

↳fan039: they were just on a walk, can we chill?

ts13fan26: I choose to clown, for Speak Now (TV) 🤡

↳caTs.fan: right there with you 🤡🤝🤡

abfan2: can we just drop this narrative that makes them both look like horrible people? We know them for gods sake

↳hater45: do we? Cause we know what the choose to tell.

↳abfan021: I choose the benefit of the doubt

After some very long hours of taking photos in tight clothes, contorting myself in all strange positions, I'm done. The make up team is working on taking off the glam as I shoot Timmy a quick text.

Me:

Can I call you in 20? I forgot this morning sry😬😬

Timmy💝:

Yeah sure, no worries, I know you're busy.

Changing my green jacket for a black blazer, as it's much warmer now, then it was in the morning, I hop in the car and tell Matt to drive to the small restaurant where Joshua said he'd meet me. I take my phone out and call Timmy, his voice coming through the other end only after the first ring. "Hi there Tim!" I smile, happy to be talking to him. "Listen you know I love you and I trust you, I choose to not get into detail about those pictures, I just need to know, are you ok?" He asks and I swallow thickly. "Yeah I am, we are just friends, he asked me to show him around a bit, I took him to Frank's store." Timmy chuckles lightly, making me calm down a bit. "I trust you honey and in a way I think I trust him too. Happy to hear you're ok, you sound it even." I'm surprised by his statement. "I do?"

"Yeah, I can't tell you, but your voice has that jovial tone I haven't herd in a minute." My eyes gloss over with tears and I giggle. "Thanks! I'm on my way to meet Joshua, I'm nervous! How was work? Is it scary?" I shoot question after question, making him laugh. "Slow down, glad to hear you're nervous about your date, calm down it'll be fine. Yes, work has been great, it's definitely darker then I expected, but I think I've got this." I listen to him talk as he gets more into detail about filming. "That's sounds amazing, but I still miss you lots, gotta go now, I'm almost at the restaurant." Timmy shuffles around, causing some static to come through. "Ok, good luck, be safe and be yourself. Love you!"

"Love you too" I end the call and get out of the car, smiling at the fact that Joshua is already here, bouncing one leg up and down, reading a newspaper. "Hello, nice to meet you, hope I'm not late!" I say apologetic, as his eyes shoot up at me, a smile spreading on his face. Joshua gets up, sitting only a few inches taller then me. "N-no you're right on time, please!" He shows me the empty seat in front of him.

I sit down and he hands me a blue cap. Shooting him a quizzing look, he laughs nervously, placing a matching one on his head. "Thought we could try and pull a Steve Rogers, cap to not be recognized?" I put the cap on and laugh at his marvel reference. "Well that's a good idea. I take it you like marvel?" I ask looking over the menu. "Yeah, I do, but I'm not really over Endgame yet." We share a laugh. "Neither am I" I say scrunching my nose up.

A sweet girl comes over to take our order and we seem to be straight on the same page as we order the same thing, without even knowing. "So what's new in the papers? I don't think I've seen one in a minute." He chuckles, brushing back some of his chocolate curls, handing me the newspaper. "Nothing much, the news is pretty boring, too much politics and all, but it gives me so to do without looking at my phone." I read one of the titles, dropping the paper, the latest football scandal not being my cup of tea.

"So do you like New York?" I ask, sipping some coffee the waiters just brought over. "Yes I do, I'm actually looking for a place to buy here, lately California has been too much, LA just doesn't do it for me anymore" his brown eyes glimmer and I can't help but get lost in the depth of them. "If you ask me New York is the best, something new to do at all times and people rarely care to look around, so it's easy to get lost in the crowd." He smiles at me, thanking the waitress for the food without taking his eyes off of me. "You'll have to show me, cause I do agree with you, but I haven't spent much time in New York. Any place you love, that's like a secret?"

I giggle, eating some of the pasta I ordered. "Well if I told you it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it?" Joshua shakes his head adjusting the hat on his head, eating a bit as well. "Could be our secret." He says looking at me. I blush like crazy and look down, his stare too much for me. I can't ignore the way my heart skips a beat, or the way my breath get caught in the back of my throat. "Could be." I mumble, looking at him through my lashes. A blush appears on his round cheeks, as he wiggles around in his seat.

"You look beautiful today by the way, not that you don't look beautiful every day, but-" "Thank you" I giggle at his sweet demeanor, a blush creeping up on both of our cheeks now. He let's out a little laugh as well and we both break into hysterics over how we're both acting, like two little kids. "So I think I should tell you the concept for the video" Joshua adds and I nod. "Well this song was inspired by my parents, they were highschool sweethearts, so I was thinking we could play them in the video." I watch as he goes on to tell me about how the whole thing would play out, starting with me walking down the aisle at our wedding and then cutting into a montage of memories from the past, how we met, our prom, graduation, every little thing that led up to us ending at the altar.

"That's so beautiful, I'd be honored to do it. I'm happy you thought of me for this." Licking his lips, they stretch out into a bright smile. "I know it might of seemed a bit out of the blue, but I've been a fan for a while and this song means a lot to me, so I thought: it's now or never Josh" he scratches the back of his head, snickering at himself. "This pasta is really good, I've never been here before." I say looking around the small restaurant. The place is almost too small to be called a restaurant, a hew tables inside and a few outside where we're sat. The early spring is starting to make it's away in New York, the shy sunshine giving everything a beautiful glow. "I found it a year ago I think, I had a few gigs to play here in New York and one of my band mates told me about this place." I wipe my lips with a tissue before speaking. "It's nice, not very common for the upper east side, I'll be for sure coming back"

We eat together, talking about little nothings, making small conversation, laughing here and there. Soon enough an hour has past but it barely feels like I've been here a minute. I haven't felt this good in a minute, like there's no worry in the world and no pressure. It doesn't matter if we get photographed together, doesn't matter if we waste too much time, nothing matters, just us. "Hang on" he leans over the table and brushes some of my hair out of my face, lifting the cap off of my head, surprising me with a small kiss, on the top of my forehead. He sits back down, blushing profusely as I'm still a bit starstruck. "That was-" "lovely" we talk over each other and our eyes meet, getting stuck.

I can feel myself leaning closer to him, still staring into his eyes, mesmerized by the dark chocolate color of them. I never knew I'd find brown eyes to be beautiful, but right now I do. Being so close to him I can smell the faint perfume of his cologne, young and bold, a bit minty with some flower undertones, very different from Austin's, dark musky scent. Before I can get any closer, my phone rings, pulling us out of the trance we've been stuck into. "Sorry" I mumble before answering Levis, my assistant.

"Hi I'm at your place, are you on your way? I want to give you the scripts I have and go over some more scheduling for the upcoming month." I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose, I completely forgot about him coming over. Looking at my watch, I'm only 30 minutes late. "I'll be there in 30, please excuse me!" Levis assures me that's all fine and I put my phone in my bag, after texting Matt to bring the car around. "I have to go, have your assistant email mine. I loved having lunch with you, Josh" I say pushing him, the card for my assistant.

"I had a good time as well." We both get up and share a tight hug. I allow myself to breathe in his scent, and I can't help but notice he does the same. As we pull apart, our hands linger over each other. "Give me your phone." I say and he complies. I quickly put my number in, naming the contact (Y/n)💟. Giving him the phone back, he sucks in a breath, noticing the emoji I used. "I guess it's our thing now, the Purple Heart?" Joshua asks tilting his head. "I guess so."

"Well I'm happy, cause I didn't know if this would be too much" he says, before searching in the pockets of his coat, pulling out a small velvet bag. "Give me your hand" he says and I put my hand forward, his fingers working on opening the little bag and then turning it upside down he shakes it softly. Something small and silver lands in my hand and he put the velvet bag away, taking the thing, that I now see it's a bracelet, out of the palm of my hand. "Allow me, please" he says.

I lift the sleeve of my blazer slightly and he puts the bracelet on. It's a dainty silver chain with a Purple Heart. The jewelry sits nicely on my wrist and I can't help the way my heart stops in it's tracks. I look up at him wide eyed and throw my arms around his neck, holding him tight. "Thank you, I love it." I say and give his cheek a small kiss. Joshua's hands go to my waist holding me tight to him. "You're very welcome, honey" the pet name, makes my knees buckle, as I snuggle my face further into his neck. "I have to go, I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, bringing his hands up to my face. "Don't be, I'll call you tomorrow, would that be ok?" Joshua asks. "Yes it would" I smile and pull away from him, when Matt stops the car next to us. I give him one more look and blow him a kiss, getting in the car. He fakes catching the kiss against his heart, making me laugh.

Matt drives away and I look at Joshua through the tinted windows. I'm smiling like crazy and I feel butterflies in my stomach. It's so strange, what's going on with me, getting so easily swept away by these men. Am I going insane? Probably, although there's this small voice in the back of my head, saying I'm just growing up and allowing myself to feel these things for once. "Did you have a good time, miss?" Matt asks me, being the nice person he's always been. "Yeah I did actually, he seems nice doesn't he?" I fiddle with the bracelet around my wrist, the slight cold of the metal being a comforting sensation. "He does miss, did he get that for you?" He says noticing the bracelet and I nod, lifting my arm up, to show him better. "It suits you, he's got taste." Here I can agree with Matt, once more, he does have nice taste, the jewelry really fits my personality and the fact that he thought about it, from our dms, it leaves me flabbergasted.

When we get back to my place, Matt and I ride the elevator together, meeting Levis in my entryway, talking on the phone. "You could've made yourself at home, Levis, you know that" I say going over to the fridge to get the water pitcher, picking two glasses as well. "Come on!" I move my head in the direction of the study as Matt, goes to his office that he has here. "Ok what have you got for me!" I say excited.

He sits down in front of me at the desk. "So these are some scripts I thought you'd like, a movie called "The in between" for Netflix, a small part on stranger things, and some more movies. I'm waiting on something exciting though, but it's still in the 'maybe' trails so there's no script." I listen closely taking the papers he hands down to me. "Next I have here your schedule for the month and I'm waiting on Joshua's assistant to email me about when the music video will shoot and where. I also have people calling me nonstop from different publications, that want you to give statements about new music and relationships" he winces at the last part as I sigh, taking off my blazer and sinking further into the chair. "Sorry, I know, don't worry I've refused them all for now, but-"

"But at one point I'll have to speak with them, I know, but let's get them after the Oscars so I can work some more on music for the next two weeks, everything after the awards will be hectic, no matter the outcome" he nods, taking down notes. "Ok tomorrow you have the first fitting, Chanel will dress you right?" Levis asks, to make sure he's got everything down. "Yeah, I want something classic and comfy." He puts that down in his planer as well. And we go like that for the next few hours and then I go to change and get ready to start on some of those audition tapes.

When my tired body finally melts into the marshmallow mattress, I'm left torn in between all these feelings. When I close my eyes I see Austin's blue eyes, piercing into mine, I still feel the ghost of his kiss on my cheek. And then when everything becomes too much, too real, I turn around in bed and I get a whiff of Joshua's scent, the ridiculous imaginary weight of the dainty bracelet, holding my right hand down. My heart beats too fast and I barely catch my breath, it feels like I'm running, when I'm just in bed, dreaming about two people, two very different people, because one could be my calm and ease and the other could be my adrenaline and euphoria. One of them is allowed and the other is well....forbidden

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pbandjesse · 6 months

Text

I had a pretty great day. It was beautiful out. And while I desperately wanted to go home at times, I still had a really nice day. And I got a lot of stuff done at home too. My energy was good.

I didn't sleep amazing. We put a fan in the bedroom though and that helped. I think w combination of the sound and the breeze. We are going to put a ceiling fan in our room but we just haven't gotten to it yet. Jess gave us the one from her house she replaced. It works she just wanted a different look. So we will have to do that soon.

When I woke up I was not thrilled. I took forever to get ready and I really liked my hair and my outfit and was feeling nice about myself.

James helped me carry some stuff to the car. Things I'm returning to the art building and all the fish tank stuff I took out yesterday to clean. And after a hug we said goodbye.

I had a nice drive. And would listen to my podcast. And got to camp at 8. I was really excited that it would be warm later but it was chilly right then.

I went up to arts and crafts and dropped off all my stuff. I wouldn't clean the fish stuff yet. My hands would be to cold. So I would come back later.

I went and had my breakfast and continued to work on the PowerPoint slideshow. Which took less then an hour to finish. I would work on finishing up the poster for the open house next. Which was quick. I had only been waiting for 5 more pictures but Elizabeth finally just told me to Google them which I was like. You could have told me that a week ago. But whatever. It's handled. The poster is done.

Sarah came in and we decided to work on sorting the board games. This ended up being way more stressful then I expected. I had to keep stopping and starting again. It was both to dusty and just overwhelming. I was not having a good time.

I tried though. Putting like games together. Making note of the broken ones. But I very much felt overwhelmed and I took a lot of breaks.

Around 11 I decided it was finally warm enough to wash the fish stuff. I would rinse everhbting really well and would find my pet snail!! Not one of the invader snails. He was out of the tank for hours! I felt so bad. I put him in a cup of water and hoped for the best and he's fine?? The most powerful snail.

After I finished cleaning everything I would leave them out in the sun. And went to collect all the materials I want to bring for my workshops on Friday. I have two sessions of diorama making. I'm excited to make things with the kids. I still need to get my paints and things ready for them. But it is going to be a lot of fun.

I would have my lunch and do some research for things we might need for Uganda. A travel adapter. Which it turns out they use the same as the UK so that wasn't as hard I expected. And I did research into water filters. I ended up finding a two pack of straws that filter and the reviews specifically mentioned Uganda so I was like oh perfect. I sent everything to James and they agreed with me about the choices. And they should be here very good.

I would go for a walk around camp. Just looking around. Enjoying how pretty out it was. I did some more computer work though. Working on handouts for workshops. Things like that. But it didn't take long.

I took the gator to move the archery targets to the bike shed. And then went to get my materials and fish stuff from the art building to drive to my car. It was ridiculously beautiful out so I drove extra around camp hurt enjoying being out there.

When I got back Sarah let me know she was going to go get the mail and then wanted to know if I wanted to go check out nature camp's low ropes course.

I have never been to nature camp. I have worked at puhtok since 2020 and I just never have gone to the other camp on our property. So I suggested that we take the gator and save some energy. She said that was a great idea and we headed out.

It was super fun. Nature camp is a little dilapidated, since they have been closed for a few years now, only getting used for rentals, but the nature itself was beautiful. Their stream was actually flowing. And it was neat seeing the other buildings.

We went and followed the trails to the low ropes course. And it was a very cool one! We were both a little to old to actually complete the whole thing but it was still really fun. I wish we had more stuff like it. Rope brides and blocks and a a small zip line and we climbed what we could and it was like. Legit play. I really had a lot of fun. Even if it was a bit exhausting and made my hands hurt. I had to take my rings off because my hands swelled up. Which isn't shocking but is still uncomfy.

Sarah would walk up the hill to go check out some tire swings we could see, while I walked along the stream and while I did not see any creatures, I still really loved the water.

We were both a little tired and hot so we walked back to the gator. Which felt so far away but we made it and we're only huffing and puffing a little.

We drove to get the mail. And then back to the office. We weren't there to long though. Sarah would go up to the barn. And I would go for a walk to the Glen to see how the frog eggs were doing.

They are migrating towards the center of the pond but I was still able to get close enough to see that some of them are no longer dots bht sre now small rectangles! They grow stronger by the day.

By the time I got back to the office and answered some emails it was 330. And I was bored. Wildly bored. I texted Sarah and let her know I was heading out.

I didn't go home right away. Instead I stopped at goodwill. And I'm really glad I did. It was stupidly busy but I still had some amazing finds.

Firstly I found a new fruit shaped sugar dish. My orange (fruit) shaped one finally shattered to much to fix. And I found a strawberry one! Amazing. Then I found another soda stream bottle. A great deal at $2 and now James can have a soda flavor too.

But then I found the best thing. I turned the corner and my childhood doll house was right there. Like I spent hours with this doll house. And it was only $10.

As I was taking a picture of it a woman accidentally stepped in front of me and apologized and I was like it's all good. And I told her all about the doll house and how all the feelings hit me. And she was like you obviously have to buy it. But I wasn't sure yet. I walked around the whole store a few times. I texted James for advice. And I decided that if I didn't get it I would regret it. So I got it.

And I'm thrilled. I would drive home and was super excited to get it inside and clean it up.

It was kind of a rough drive. But I got home before 430. I parked and brought my stuff inside. And as I was closing the door I heard James come in the back door! Same time!

James would start making a pizza dough. And I would jump into cleaning the fish tanks. Which finally seem clean. I set up the tank I took everything out of. I checked on omelet, who seems to be thriving. And I vacuumed the other tank a few more times just to get the floaty stuff out.

I poured everything in the dirt outside. And the sun felt so nice out there.

While I was pruning the plants in the one tank someone knocked on the door and James answered and it was someone signing us up for the provider for our electric and gas. Which I don't know if that's normal anywhere else but it is here. It's so your energy is offset by solar and wind power. So James signed us up for this one. The guy was also really nice and complimented the studio and thought it was really cool. Thank you.

After that person left I finished the tanks and started working on cleaning the doll house. Which was very dirty. I also had to reglue the house number back on the front. And after I cleaned it up I made space for it on the shelf and took the other house apart to move everyone in.

And I am really excited to how it looks. I had to pull some more furniture and accessories from storage but it came together so well.

I would take a break to have some pizza James made. They went to go play a game with friends and I kept working on my doll house.

After I finished that I did some cleaning. I vacuumed and cleaned the kitty litter. I started putting stuff on the skinny shelf I made since James has finished painting it. And I would do some more organizing of the living room and moving things around. It was fun.

Eventually I ran out of steam. And I cuddled up on the couch with sweetp. I have been hanging out here texting Celia and Callie. And now James is here. And the evening is winding down.

Tomorrow I am not sure what we are going to do at camp. I know we have to set up for the field trip on Friday. But beyond that I am not sure what the day will bring. I just hope it's a nice day. I hope I am not as desperate to go home.

I hope you all have a great night tonight. Sleep good. Be safe. Take care of yourself. Until next time!!

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