#i need to rant about this because i love it so much

[epiphainie]

i can't with all these "the show is highlighting tommy's jealousy, they're planting seeds that it will cause problems" takes like bffr. he mentioned being envious over the 118's dynamic twice, sure, but in what world (literally how?) would that cause a relationship problem? do yall expect him to be in cahoots with gerrard behind their back and murder buck to take over his life or something?? like even with the hyperbole aside, i genuinely cannot see how they can turn this into relationship drama without going against everything they showed us with tommy so far

[fuxuannie]

Hey girl, I LOVED YOUR HEADCANONS. Specifically abt Ken x Reader. If you can write about headcanons abt maybe when he's jealous? You covered literally almost everything in your headcanons, so I have nothing to request except this 😭

❥﹒kenji sato x gender neutral reader

✦. synopsis — part 2 of the kenji sato headcanons because i am totally normal <3

✦. love mail — i swear i promise ill post hsr guys 😞 just let me have my moment w sato i beg. i’ve decided to just do this req + add some more hehe. thank you sm requester for enabling my brain rot! (pls more ppl do so)

✦. tags — NO SPOILERS, fluff, dadgirl kenji, non-intimate/sexual kissing, kenji sato x reader, i wrote this w my brain off again ( ´͈ ᗨ `͈ ;; pls

Jealousy was not fun for the Kenji Sato. Before Emi came along and changed him, I can see him being the type to get jealous easily. Why would you need to talk to other people anyway? You had him, he was the best. He’d make it real obvious too, suddenly wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close, or the following days he has you wear his iconic jacket while you’re out with him so everyone knows exactly who and what you two are. If it gets to the better of him, he’ll get all pouty about it. He wants all your attention, your eyes all over him and him only. Maybe even hands but that’s a different thing. But I think after Emi’s influence, it’s less possessive and he’s grown to trust you with others instead of letting his feelings get in the way. Of course he’s not immune to jealousy, but you notice it a lot less. It’s less suffocating for you and you’re grateful he’s grown. You did love the pouty face he’d make though, it was cute.

Now if you were jealous, which is really no surprise.. Kenji had thousands of admirers, he had gifts on his doorstep like every other day. He’ll do everything to prove and reassure you that you’re the only one who has his heart. He’ll post you on his social media, take you out on dates, all those things to wash your worries away. Lastly, he’ll hold you in his arms at night and whisper everything he loves about you. Everything you were silently insecure about, he loved. Every date you thought he forgot, he remembered. And to meet a guy like that? How lucky can you be? (He tells you he’s luckier of course. <3)

I think he’s a messy kisser for the most part 🧐. (Forgive me in advance for this part. I am not very good at these things.) When he can take his time, he’s slow and gentle. Genuinely just trying to show you that yeah, he loves you, so damn much. And he’s going to show that through his passion by taking things slow so you can really feel his devotion. Other times, because he’s always in a rush, he’ll do a messy but clearly desperate kiss. He doesn’t like leaving without one, and you can describe him kissing you like it’s his last, (because it’s really not a far-fetched guess considering his line of work) his hand behind your head and pressing your lips against his in an almost ravenous manner. He does give you a very quick kiss on the forehead and runs off after finishing, leaving you a little dazed.

He LOVES to take you out on night rides. If ever you get a little nervous/have a fear of motorcycles, he’ll talk you all the way through via the cardo he put into your helmet. He’ll take you to some nice cafes or restaurants around Tokyo, other time’s he’ll bring you to some favourite childhood spot of his. When you arrive, he’ll tell you about his mother and the memories he’s made in this very special spot. It warms your heart to see his expression be so fond when he talks about his childhood – he truly misses it.

Before you knew of Kenji’s identity, I think it would be funny if you hated Ultraman. You just LOATHED the guy, Kenji asked your thoughts on Ultraman on the first date and you went on a rant about how he threw your car at a Kaiju only to miss. (He felt so embarrassed). It would be funnier if afterwards, he began to actually do his job as Ultraman properly.. and avoided cars on your street and avenue. He wanted to make sure you didn’t utterly hate Ultraman before revealing that he was him.

It would be cute if you and him knew each other like, much earlier. And you called him Ken. And then he made that his alias while he was becoming an All-Star baseball player. :) He’ll brag about it all the time in interviews too, that you’re the reason he uses it. <3

He’s the typa guy to have a picture of you in his room, behind his phone case, in his wallet, in his car and literally anywhere he can get his hands on. He bought a polaroid camera just to take pictures of you, he could care less about the price of film or the camera itself.. he just wanted to have as many pictures of you as possible. He’ll brag about it to his baseball teammates too, considering he also keeps one in his pockets for good luck. :)

You're his goodluck charm. <3

[chateaaa]

☆ What dating the blue lock characters feels like (pt 2)

Dating Sae Itoshi includes matching earrings, having your initial dangling in his dominant leg (so every time he scores he dedicates the goals to you), having you in the back of his phone, being mean to everyone but you, buying you everything you want, giving you his password to all his socials, buying you flowers every week, slow dancing in the rain, watching hello kitty with you, kissing you on the back of your hand <3

Dating Shidou Ryusui includes bear hugs!!, slapping your ass every time he gets a chance, biting you randomly, love hate relationship, "shut up" x "make me", would try to be romantic (it does not work), would always expect you watching his games, looking at you in the crowd if he scores a goal, making boys near you cry because he dosnt want them to steal you away from him

Dating Otoya Eita includes kissing you on the neck, painting each other's nails in the color of black, wearing a pink scrunchie you gave him as a joke he now won't remove it from his arm, giving you his hoodie, acts of service, only wearing this specific perfume when you guys meet, pocky game (he would purposely lose)

Dating Tabito Karasu includes flirting with you in front of your friends, matching lego heart keychain, giving you cute random things and saying "my chick number 7 gave this to me, i don't need it so you can have it" that's a lie, he spended 3 days deciding what to give you, carrying you like a sack around, matching sneakers

Dating Alexis Ness includes worshipping you like a goddess, loving every single part of you, carrying an extra ponytail for you, buying you snacks, being very possessive, always wanting to wear matching clothes, words of affirmation and physical touch!!, telling hid teamates about how good and kind you are, literally making you experience any kind of dates ex: beach dates, museum dates, stargazing dates, always wanting to touch any part of your body; arms, cheeks, hands

Dating Hiori Yo includes arcade dates!!, winning you stuff toys in claw machines, gaming dates, photobooth dates, physical touch and quality time!!, cuddling while raining, playing games even if your horrible, the beds in minecraft being side by side, carrying you in literally any game, sending you spotify lyrics that he thinks relates to your relationship with him, watching netflix together during summer vacation

Dating Noel Noa includes waking up during weekends with him serving you breakfast in bed, carrying you around like a teddy, all love language, gifting you extravagant gifts everyday, leaving you colorful sticky notes in the counter everyday with daily reminders such as "don't forget to drink water" or "i'm going home late, you should sleep early today"

Dating Ikki Nikko includes only letting you touch his hair, cafe dates, letting you have his drink if you like it more, gifting you a giant teddy on your birthday, would always update you through chat, sending you spotify playlists, handwritten letters, sending memes to eachother, dreaming about being married and adopting 5 cats

Dating Yukimiya Kenyu includes neck kisses!, ranting about all his problems to you at 3 am while cuddling, taking pictures of you every time you go out, his wallpaper being you (he changes his wallpaper every week), just because flowers, photographer x model, always having your favorite food in his bag

Dating Charles Chevalier includes painting each other's nails with the eye color of each other, him only listening to you, sunshine x grumpy, always asking for headpats, booping your nose, watching disney every night before going to bed, expecting you to feed him every time you go out

idk guys kasasu and otoya feels ooc, I THINK IT'S VERY HARD TO WRITE ABOUT THEM SINCE I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE RED FLAGS AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITY THAT MUCH..... (sorry karasu and otoya fans 😔😔) but anw hope you all still like it ☝🏻🤓

btw PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SUGGEST ANYTHING TO WRITE IM HAVING WRITERS BLOCK LOL

[f1-jay]

Hi, I have a request for Jenson if that's alright. You said that you struggle with plot because you don't know what people want, so this is going to be super detailed but add or taking away whatever you want from the plot.

Jenson has been dating a younger woman (reader) for a while now and everything is going great, they're even talking about going public! And then her ex starts trying to get in contact with her. He's been calling or texting or dm'ing her every day and finally one day Jenson gets tired of it. She's in the shower, he's studying what he needs to study for commentating (idk how that works lol) and her phone just keeps going off. He of course, knows her password as she does his and opens up her phone and goes to his messages. The messages are things like 'I know you miss me so stop playing hard to get' and 'You'll never find another guy like me' and Jenson gets so fed up with it that he decides to bite the bullet and post the hard launch already. They had already agreed on a series of photos and short video's they would post. He posts them all, tagging her and the ex-boyfriend and the caption is 'She's taken, buddy'. And then she comes out of the bathroom, and he freaks out, thinking she's gonna be pissed at him but she finds in really hot insted.

Mine - Jenson Button

Pairing: Jenson Button x Younger reader

Summary: read request

Warnings: nothing

Words 0.8k

Note: Thank you very much for sending a request

You and Jenson had managed to have a pretty private relationship from the beginning. Eight perfect months before the rumours started, to be honest, you were both surprised that it remained private for such a long period. Neither of you minded that much, as you had talked about going public and planning what photos you would post on Instagram.

Unfortunately for you, the rumours meant your ex tried to get back in contact with you by messaging, calling, and on social media, but to no success. You two didn't necessarily end on bad terms, but you didn't care to talk to him. He was persistent, but you were stubborn. You didn't bother telling Jenson about it at first; he'd stop soon, right?

Four days later, you're sitting on the couch, enjoying each other's company. Your phone rings again, and you hit the decline button, letting out an annoyed sigh.

"You okay?" Jenson looks up from his phone and over to you. You hum in agreement at him. "That sounded believable" He says with sarcasm. Now you look at him.

"It's nothing. Promise" "Wow, I can't believe I'm dating a liar..." He says it overdramatically as he slowly shakes his head and clicks his tongue. A mix of laughter and scoff comes from you.

"It's just Broc; see, nothing to worry about." You shrug it off while Jenson's eyebrows knit together.

"Broc? like your ex, Broc?" You nod. "Why is he calling? Just block him."

"He'll stop soon; it doesn't matter. I know he's an ex, but we do get along. If he starts to say anything that makes me uncomfortable, then I'll block him; trust me." That's all it takes for Jenson to stop talking about it because he does trust you.

Overnight, a month-old photo comes out that confirms your relationship: you and Jenson sharing a kiss while holding hands. The communication from Brocs starts to become more intense, and so do the words, but you don't keep your promise to Jenson. Something about the messages and the change in attitude made you want to see what else he would say.

You had gone in for a shower just before Broc started another rant over text. Jenson sits at the desk, going over some information for the upcoming GP, and ignores the noise from your phone, assuming it's just a friend. The constant message tones then turn into a ringtone, so he gets up to see what all the fuss is about. He isn't thrilled when he sees that it's Broc, and he considers just blocking him for you. Another message comes through: 'You really think he loves you? You're just a worthless slut'. That is enough for Jenson to unlock your phone and go into his messages. What he sees pisses him off, and he decides that he wants to send him a public message.

Jenson picks up his phone and puts those preselected photos into a post, making you officially public.

JensonButton: She's happily taken, @/Broc

User1: Iconic

User2: The text!?! She's so real for that

User3: I literally screamed

JensonButton: So did she

User4: Ain't no way he tagged her ex 😦

User5: Isn't she only like 22? That's half his age 🤢

User6: Acting like you wouldn't if you got the chance

You get out of the shower and start to dry off when you hear your notification tone going wild. You unlock the door and poke your head out, questioning what's going on. Jenson just handed you your phone with a smile. You see the post and look at him with a slightly open jaw.

"What's this? I know we said we would, but I thought we meant together." You say, looking through the photos.

"I saw the messages that he was sending you, so I sent one back." He scrolls down, so you can read the caption. Your jaw opens a little wider. "I also blocked him for you since that 'trust me' obviously wasn't reliable."

"Oh, Mr. Button, you are very attractive when you're jealous." You place a hand on his chest, which he removes right away with a strong grasp on your wrist.

"Uh, uh, don't even try it. What happened to blocking him when he went too far?" He says as he looks down at you with a serious look. You pout and flutter your eyelashes a couple times.

"Are you going to punish me?" A fake sad look is etched on your face. "Please, sir, don't. I'm sorry" You say, obviously wanting him to do something. Jenson can't help the smirk that appears on his lips.

"This is what you wanted, isn't it?" The small smile that you try to hold back gives him the answer. "Fucking brat" he mumbles through his teeth. He pulls you towards the bed with his hold on your wrist, sitting down and pulling you over his lap. He was thankful that you hadn't gotten dressed yet. Your wrists are then pulled behind your back, and he holds them there with one hand, and his other hand comes down hard on your ass. 

[ivegotyourbackbuddie]

Waiting for Eddie to come out to the firefam in s8 after going to a gay bar and telling everyone he didn’t feel like he had to perform there. And Buck wants to be happy for him, like he really does, but he has this heavy underlying feeling of… jealousy?

He immediately goes to Maddie to talk about things because he’s worried that Hen or Chim are going to call him homophobic which is slightly how he’s feeling except he’s bisexual so that doesn’t make sense. And he tells Maddie, “I’m just… really jealous that he came out right after me. Kind of… stole my thunder.”

And Maddie lets out a long suffering sigh and lectures him, “You can both come out around the same time without stealing each other’s thunder.” But it doesn’t make Buck feel better.

He comes back to Maddie when Eddie talks about the guys he’s been casually talking to, telling her, “I’m just jealous that he feels so comfortable talking about things. And I’m jealous that he’s exploring his options more than I have.”

And it’s something new every day. “I’m jealous that one of the guys he’s seeing brought him flowers by the station… I’m jealous that he’s able to pull off these new jeans so well for his dates… I’m jealous that this new guy is texting him all the time and making him laugh so loud… I’m jealous that this other guy is teaching him how to cook when that’s my thing!… I’m jealous that he gets hit on by guys during calls and always becomes this blushing, stuttering mess…”

One time, Buck is in Maddie living room, pacing back and forth nearly ripping his hair out - much to Jee’s amusement - and he’s ranting, “I’m jealous that the waiter at our restaurant thinks he’s cute, and don’t ask me how I know Maddie, it’s clear with the way he looks at him and gets all giddy and smiley. Completely unprofessional. And Eddie doesn’t even do anything. He just sits there and everyone is in love with him! And I get it that Eddie is hot and great, and you don’t need to tell me that, but it’s like suddenly all these men are hitting on him and- and where was that before, you know?”

“Or maybe you’re just now hyper aware of it.”

Buck just frowns at her.

Then, Maddie decides it’s finally time for the conversation. She takes a deep breath before suggesting, “And maybe you’re jealous about something else.”

She sees the way that the gears slowly turn in Buck’s head until he has a lightbulb moment and gasps, “You’re right!” And before Maddie can tell him that she’s so proud of him, Buck says, “I’m jealous that he hasn’t asked me to be his wingman and help him with all of this!”

And Maddie just sadly smiles at Buck and says, “I’m sure that’s it,” hoping that he’ll eventually figure it out on his own soon.

(Spoiler alert… he does not.)

[imaginespazzi]

I’m just gonna rant here/

no because Paige is really SO PRETTY and people don’t talk about it enough bc they’re all caught up calling her fine. like yes she is fine but I feel like they mostly just say that bc they like to put her in a masculine view instead of a feminine one. am I the only one seeing that? like yes she doesn’t wear skirts so I guess she dresses masculine, but her face is literally so babygirl. literally am I the only one who sees that? 😭 her face is hella feminine and her face card NEVER declines fr. do y’all remember when she wore that rainbow jacket thing to the Celtics game (I think) w/ Kayla? she was SERVING FACE there and I feel like no one talked about it enough. she was giving Barbie lowkey with the blonde hair (omg the curls/ waves actually sent me into a coma, she needs to wear her natural hair more often!!) and everything. like she is sooo babygirl 👊 gonna get a lil personal here bc I’m actually so jealous of her NOSE BRO like white people be having pointy ass noses and I’m jealous as hell 😭😭 as an Asian my nose is literally so flat and I’m jealous lowkeyyy 👊

LMAO THE NOSE STUFF HAS ME CACKLING BUT I AGREE WITH YOU ANON!

She's just a pretty pretty pretty girl, like unfairly so. And when she does her makeup? Literally just perfect. Like I love when she does a little bit of blush and mascara and just a little bit of color on her lips. It suits her so much and she's actually perfect. AND THE SLUT STRANDS. Oh my god y'all don't even know how obsessed I am with the slut strands.

[the-peak-tmnt]

I want to say that I like that your fic is mostly Raph centric because those fics are rare and he deserves more love and pain lol

Raph: Mom says it's my turn with the trauma

Thank you so much! I'm seriously so grateful for people who are willing to give a Raph-centric fic a shot!

I knew writing Raph-centric fic that's also a Mutant Mayhem fic was gonna turn a lot of people off from giving it a try, which I totally understand because I usually go for Leo-centric fics myself lol. It also doesn't help that Mutant Mayhem still isn't super popular.

But Mutant Mayhem Raph is an exciting new version of Raph that's been SO fun to explore, and I'm gonna go on a little rant about why I'm enjoying writing (and torturing) him so much!

[Initiating Raph Rant] So, almost all Raphs are tough guys who also wear their hearts on their sleeves, which is what makes him such a fun character. He's "the angry one", but usually also super emotional in other ways:

Because MM feels more like an actual teenager than most other iterations, his moments of emotional vulnerability feel particularly raw and relatable. I might be old as dirt now, but I do still remember what it was like to be a teenager still trying to figure out who they were and what they wanted in life.

Mutant Mayhem does such an amazing job of hitting on those teenage insecurities and desires. The turtles whole goal in the movie is to be accepted. All teenagers feel like outsiders and want acceptance at some point. That teenage desire for acceptance is amplified for the turtles because they're not just teenagers, but mutants as well. The moment where Raph's voice sort of wavers as he says "we're never gonna be normal" breaks my heart every time, because they're so sure acceptance is completely out of reach for them 😭

...but the MM boys do get acceptance by the human world by the end of the film. Raph even seems to find his place own at Eastman on the wrestling team in the post-credit scene.

I think this is what has turned a lot of fans off MM, though, because the turtles' need for secrecy and using their ninja skills to remain hidden has always been an integral part of the TMNT franchise. Personally, I actually love that departure from the typical TMNT format and talked about it once before.

But there are some traditional TMNT elements that I did miss in MM, one of those being the fact that in most iterations, Raph is an outsider even amongst outsiders. His anger is what alienates him from his brothers at times, and it often gets him into trouble. It’s also what almost always leads to his friendship with Casey (another outsider).

Tales of the TMNT isn't out yet, and we don't how this series will give Raph that traditional outsider treatment, or if it will at all. They could save it for Mutant Mayhem 2, but that's still years away. And even then they might decide not to go that route because so far, MM Raph's rage has mostly just manifested in a propensity for fighting & violence rather than interpersonal issues with his brothers & other people. His rage is even framed as useful in the final fight against Superfly.

So anyway...as canon stands right now pre-tottmnt/MM 2, Raph is an "insider". He and his brothers can have a life on the surface, and Raph even seems to have found his own place at Eastman on the wrestling team. Again, I'm all for this happy ending and a brand new experience for the turtles, but I was also missing my personal favorite flavor of Raph...which is angry and alienated lol.

After I saw MM in theaters, I started looking at a lot of the concept art and other production material floating around on the internet and I came across this concept art by Garrett Lee:

And it was like "oh shit, there he is! Outsider Raph!"

He looks so lonely and separate from everyone else here, and I was obsessed with this idea of Raph somehow still being an outsider even after the mutants were accepted by humans. But again, we're still waiting for tottmnt and MM 2, and even then there's no guarantee we'll get an Angry & Sad Outsider Raph out of either of those.

So I asked myself "how can I ruin MM Raph's life so that he's as lonely and miserable as he looks in this concept art???"

...and Reciprocity was born 😅

[nicole-timey-wimey-stuff]

could i request some redemption negan x reader angst? where r gets hurt and is carried by him to safety.

Here we go anon I hope this is ok, sorry it took so long to do!!

I’ll Never Let This Go

Negan Smith x Fem Grimes reader

Synopsis- Season 10-11 Negan, during his redemption arc. There’s always been something about you, even when he first met you at Alexandria to collect ‘payment’ he knew he couldn’t ever do something to hurt you. Developing an all too obvious soft spot for you, the thought of you is always plaguing his mind. After his empire falls and his life resides to the four walls of his cell, his soft spot morphs into a friendship that all too quickly on his side turns into deep feelings. Feelings that are in his mind definitely unrequited, how could you ever love a monster? But when you’re hurt everything bubbles up to the surface.

Warnings- Angst, injuries, talk of death, Negan is a warning himself, feelings, confessions, arguments, hurt, comfort, bad language, walkers. Reader has endometriosis and painful periods, comfort. Large age gap reader is 23 at the start of this and 30/ 31 by the end. Negan obviously in early - mid fifties by end of jail era. Maggie and Negan drama, happy ending, Barely proofread sorry! (Not quite story line correct but close ish)

Word count - 6.7k (sorry it’s LONG!)

Based very loosely on the Paramore song.

Maybe if my heart stops beating

It won't hurt this much

And never will I have to answer

Again to anyone

Please don't get me wrong

Because I'll never let this go.

_______________________________________

The first time Negan came to Alexandria he spotted you, a new face he didn’t see at the line up. And you…. Well you were completely unbothered by him. Walking over to you he wore his signature grin “Can I help you?” You asked incredibly sarcastically, “Yeah I was wondering why I haven’t see your pretty face before? You weren’t there that night were you?” He probes, “Nope I was here watching the children, I’m sorry is there something you need or can I go back to what I was doing?” You ask clearly giving zero fucks to who you were talking too.

Everyone stopped and waited for him to lose his cool with you, but in all honesty he was impressed. No one had ever been so unfazed by him before and it was kind of refreshing. “No no you carry on sweetheart, I’ll see you next time” he replies smug smile still on his face as you walk off.

That day started something between you both, a sort of bantering, love to hate relationship. Every time he’d come to Alexandria he’d make sure to come and pester you, “There’s my favourite girl! I didn’t see you in your usual spot sweetheart, you hiding?” He teased, rolling your eyes you turn to him “No I have a job to do here, strange as this may sound to you Negan but, the world doesn’t evolve around you” you sass before walking off, following behind you he carries on “Ouch you wound me baby, I thought at least your life evolved around little old me?” You sigh “No unfortunately not, but hey don’t you have a groupie of wives to big your ego for you?” You snap now getting fed up.

“Yeah but it’s always so much sweeter coming from you darlin’” he grins. “Yay for me” you sass. He cages you against the wall then, your breath hitching as he does. He stares down at you, you hold his stare “I’d watch yourself sweetheart” he growls, “If you were going to kill me Negan, you’d have done it by now, but go on prove me wrong” you offer, pushing yourself closer to him. He steps back “I’ll see you next time” he grumbles before stalking off.

You didn’t let his warning deter you though, when he came back with Carl you were already in the house, watching over Judith. “Carl where the hell have you been!!! I couldn’t find you anywhere…. Oh” your rant trails off when you spot Negan behind him, Negan told you everything that happened, and you glared at your nephew. “I’m sorry Aunt Y/N” he says hanging his head, “Auntie?” Negan asks, “Your Ricks baby sister huh? Now I don’t know why you never thought to tell me that?” He declares, “Well to be fair you never asked!” You reply, he nods at you carefully, “Touché, but no more secrets ok?”, “Fine” you huff.

_______________________________________

After the fall of his empire you were one of the ones helping patch him up. Being a first responder from before the world went to shit had its uses these days. You were kinder towards him that he others, gentler in your administrations. When he couldn’t speak, you’d sit by his bed and read the hobbit to him, you helped him eat and drink, snuck him painkillers. Before he could even notice, he'd developed feelings for you, he had always been drawn to you, but now, now he couldn’t go a day without seeing you or his chest hurt.

Once he was in his cell you were the one who brought him his meals, something Michone tasked you with as you were the only one not afraid of him, in these visits you’d also smuggle him in books and things to draw/write with. This is where you began your daily chats, and started building a real friendship.

He’d now been in his little jail a year, Rick was set on building his little bridge, and you would come down here to talk with Negan when your brother was driving you insane. Walking into the building Negan could hear your footsteps, something over the last year he’d learnt to pick up on. He knew when it was you now, so each time he heard the familiar sound he’d jump up to meet you, “Hey there sweetheart, it’s not meal time so what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” He asks.

“I’m escaping bridge talk before I murder my own kin” you grumble before sitting next to the left hand side bars, propped up against the wall, Negan joins you, sitting in the same spot on the other side of the bars. “Ah I see” he sighs watching your movements carefully, you seem agitated and the way your face scrunches up, you seem like you’re in pain too.

“You alright there sweetheart? You aren’t looking too hot” he asks, he’s worried about you now. “Yeah I’m fine” you grit out, “You really don’t seem it, come on what’s up?” He prods, hoping you’ll open up to him. “It’s a woman thing, don’t worry about it” you grumble. “Ah I see, are your monthly’s always this painful?” He asks. “Yeah, I have a condition that makes them this bad, it’s not life threatening or anything, just painful. It can stop you having children, but in this shit show of a world I doubt that’s a bad thing” you explain.

He frowns at your explanation, he doesn’t like the thought of you in pain, especially not every month. “They always been this bad?” He asks and you can tell he’s genuinely concerned, “No they’ve gotten worse over the years” you admit. “Anything I can do to help?” He offers, and you have to laugh at that, “I don’t think there’s much you can do from in there Negan, besides painkillers are rare these days, and like I said it’s not life threatening so I have to just get on with it.”

“You shouldn’t have to get on with being in pain darlin’, you really have nothing that helps?” He presses, “Heat helps but my hot water bottle burst so….” You trail off. “Heat?” He asks, “Yeah?” You reply confused, “Do you trust me?” He asks, “In theory yeah, but I’m not letting you out” you respond. “No I know that, but you trust that I wouldn’t hurt you yeah?” He asks almost timidly, you swallow a lump in your throat, you’ve always known he wouldn’t hurt you personally, it’s why he never hurt Carl.

“Yeah Negan I’ve always known that” you admit, ��Ok turn around and place your back against the bars” he instructs, you were confused as to why he asking you to do it, but you shuffle round and do as he says anyways. His hand carefully snakes around your waist before slipping under your shirt, then resting on your lower stomach. His hand was oddly warm and you felt instant relief from your painful cramps, your head fell back into the bars of his cell, finely allowing yourself to relax. “Better?” He asks, “Yeah, thank you” you sigh, this was the most physical contact he’d had in over a year, and it was you! He allowed himself to bask in the feeling of holding you close, of feeling the warmth of your skin against his.

This soon became a usual thing, he’d tell just from your facial expressions when you visited, and your grumpy mood, he would just reach through the bars and place a warm hand on your lower stomach, you’d then carry on whatever conversation you were having, sometimes he’d just listen to you rant.

_______________________________________

A lot happened in the years following, you lost your brother, and now you were dealing with the whisperers, creepy fucking shits who are once again threatening your family. After a long day of trying to fix up the walls for a possible incoming attack, and talking battle plans with the council you were seriously tense and fed up. Knowing there was only one person who could make you feel better, you waited for everyone to filter back into their homes, and found your way down to Negan’s cell.

The jingle of the door startled him awake, jumping into a seated position he visibly relaxed when he saw it was you. “Hey Doll, it’s bit late for a visit isn’t it?” He offers, “Sorry am I disturbing you? I am aren’t I, I’ll come back tomorrow” you ramble off about to leave again, “Hey no no, please don’t go, you’re never disturbing me sweetheart, what’s going on?” He asks walking over to greet you.

“Been in council meeting all evening, they are deciding how to deal with the whisperers, and I think personally they are being stupid, they’re going to get us all killed” you sigh, resting your head against the bars in defeat. His hand strokes over yours before placing a quick chaste peck to your head, “Hey, it’s going to be ok. I won’t Let anything happen to you and Judith” he says with complete certainty in his voice.

“Uh huh, from in here yeah?” You tease, “Trust me I’d find a way” you look up at him with a small smile, “They did listen to my request though, you will be getting out daily, for work I’m afraid but it has to be better than this?” You explain, “Shit, yeah I’ll take it sweetheart, thanks” he says sincerely, “Your also allowed supervised showers too after, which is better than what you get in here also” you continue, “I sure hope it will be you supervising me shower?” He grins, “Negan! Seriously!” You exclaim, “Sorry, sorry” he offers holding his hands up in surrender, “From what I presume, someone will just be waiting outside the bathroom door for you.” You say, “I can live with that” he agrees, “Just don’t screw this up for yourself Negan, I want to see you get some more freedom, gain some trust.” You plead, “I’ll do my best doll, I promise” he agrees.

_______________________________________

A storm was coming in, the temperature dropping rapidly, you were helping secure the animals in the barn before you all took shelter. “Gabe, has someone collected Negan yet?” You ask, “No not yet, me and you can after we settle the horses yeah?” He offers, “Yeah ok” you reply, worrying about him in that freezing cell, “You care about him don’t you?” Gabriel asks, “Yeah unfortunately he’s managed to snare my friendship somehow” you reply, you know that’s not what he meant but you were not going there. Gabriel nods, “Ok let’s go get him while we can” your relieved at his words, more than ready now to get him to safety.

Sat in the barn everyone is watching the storm brew outside the window, “Jude come away from the window hunni, it’s freezing out there” you say, “Ok auntie y/n, but dog is out there, I hope he’s ok” she mentions sadly, “I’m sure he is sweetie come on” you offer pulling her in for a hug, then moving her over to the other side of the room for a drink and snack.

Gabriel watches Negan watch your every move, from his chained up position on the cot, with that obvious look of love and devotion on his face. “You know it’s never going to happen right?” Gabriel says walking over to Negan, “I don’t know what you mean?” Negan asks confused, “I mean you and her, I can clearly see you’re in love with her, and she may have befriended you now but she will never love you the way you want her too, she was Glens friend, she’s Rick’s sister, it’s never going to happen” Gabriel goads, smug look on his face when he can tell he’s hit a nerve.

He quickly rid his frown before giving Gabriel his signature smirk “Well if we are going there Gabe, your girl’s doc is also your girl’s baby daddy, which kind of begs the question, do you ever wonder what the hell was going on in there when she has her “appointments”?” Negan mocks, doing little quotation sign with his hands. “You could try to be a little less predictable” Gabriel grumbles, Negan smirks before saying “Aww Gabe that hurts, truly”.

You catch the end of what they were saying and started to walk back “Everything ok here?” You ask, looking between the two men, “Yeah sweetheart everything’s fine” Negan grins at you, “You know Negan, we’re all grown ups here, and none of us would ever let this ruin the longstanding friendships and mutual respect we have for each other” Gabriel declares, “Ok everything doesn’t seem ok” you say, still watching both men. “You know what? You’re right, that is a very mature attitude, Father…… not the father” Negan grins, teasing glint in his eye.

“Ok ok that’s enough, Negan please shut up or it will be a very long night!” You sigh, “He started it Princess!” Negan whines, you give him a pointed look, “I’m being serious he did, ok ok I’ll shut up” he huffs, “Thanks” you mumble plopping down next to him on the bed. Gabriel was right though you’d never love him the way he loved you, maybe if his heart stopped beating it wouldn’t hurt this much, he thinks, until then he’d just have to keep pretending that you weren’t everything to him.

After a funny smell turned out to be dangerous, everyone was shuffled out into the storm to find Aaron’s house, but after hearing dog bark Judith ran off in search of him. “Judith!!!!” You and Negan both screamed at the same time, “Shit!” You shouted before chasing after her, “Y/n!! Fuck, wait up!” Negan bellowed as he follows you, grabbing your wrist “We will find her together, stay close!” You nod at him before you go in search of your niece.

The whole thing was an ordeal, Negan fell and severely hurt his leg, you found Judith and dog though. You’d somehow managed to carry her back to Aaron’s while supporting Negan with your other arm. And finally you felt the rush of warmth as you entered the house, “Oh my goodness’ Aaron gasped running to help you and Judith into the house, leaving an ignored, limping Negan at the door, not that he minded Judith and you were his first priority too.

Once Judith was given the once over and declared ok, Siddiq worked on Negan’s leg the best he could until you could get to the infirmary. “Thanks for helping me get my niece safely back” you smile at Negan, “I told you before doll, I won’t let anything happen to you and Judith” he says, you sit down next to him once more, “We got lucky, everyone will be ok” you sigh, knowing how badly that could of went. He wraps his arm around your shoulders, giving you an affectionate squeeze.

_______________________________________

After that day things have gotten better, Michone thanked you and Negan for saving Judith’s life, and she happily gave him some more freedom. He worked outside, he was allowed to join for group meals, and he had better bathroom breaks, where he could shower, trim his beard/ hair etc. Although the threat that the whisperers posed was getting greater and greater.

Negan could tell you were panicking, it was written all over your face, you were constantly looking out to where Jude and RJ were, their safety always on your mind. You were uncharacteristically quiet, always lost in your head, and he didn’t like it at all. So when Carol let him out of his cell that night, on the mission of killing the alpha he didn’t think twice. He wrote you a note, leaving it in his cell for you to find, and he hoped you’d understand, if not understand then maybe one day forgive him. But he had to keep his promise to you, and that was to always keep you and Judith safe, so that was what he was doing.

The next morning you brought Negan’s breakfast to his cell for him, only to be met with an empty room, only a small note left on the side of his bed with your name on it. Opening it up you read the worlds carefully,

Dear y/n

I know you must be upset with me leaving like this without telling you, but I promise it’s for the best. I will kill alpha, end the whisperers and in doing so keep my promise of always protecting you and little Judith.

I have to say this though incase I never make it back, here goes nothing.

I love you, like completely and utterly in love with you, and I know you could never feel the same way about me, I’m a monster I know that. But I had to tell you, so without any expectations I love you, and I will continue to love you until my last breath.

Negan xx

You gasp, tears stinging your eyes, when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. “Rosita what happened? Who let him out!” You demand, tucking the note away in your back pocket it was for your eyes only, “I don’t know y/n I’ve only just heard myself” she admits, “Fuck he’s gone after the whisperers, he’s going to get himself killed.” You say, “Well it’s not our problem anymore, he’s made his decision, come on y/n Jude’s asking for you” she replies pulling you gently along.

Days you sat there watching the gate, praying he’d make some dramatic entrance, only to be filled with bitter disappointment every day. Everyone tiptoed around you not wanting to upset you further, when asked you told them “He’s my best friend” because in all honesty he was, and you were confused on how else you felt right now, you knew feelings ran deeper than that. But admitting you loved him was a big deal to you, so for now you just filled yourself with your own lies, everyone else bought it so why couldn’t you.

It was weeks before you saw him again, alpha attacked hilltop and everything fell into chaos. During the fight you bumped into Negan whilst out determining how many whisperers there were surrounding you, he was stood with alpha making plans on attack, wearing one of the masks. Your heart plummeted, had he joined them? Was he going to let her hurt you all? Did he even mean the words he wrote to you? When his eyes met yours you could see the pure panic in them, he instantly tried to direct Alphas attention elsewhere so you could escape unnoticed, so you did just that, snuck away into the night.

_______________________________________

Once you were back home in Alexandria Negan came back with Daryl with the claim alpha was dead, that he was the one who killed her. Daryl confirmed it was true and the rest of the council decided that they trusted him enough that he could stay with you in your home that night, until they reconvene in the morning to discuss Negan’s future at Alexandria.

You’d only nodded, allowing Negan to follow you back to your home, it hadn’t gone unnoticed to him that you were yet to utter a word. Hell you’d barely looked at him since he’d walked through the gates, every thought ran through his head, maybe you read his letter and felt repulsed, maybe you thought he’d joined alpha? He waited until you’d closed your front door before speaking “Sweetheart can you please just look at me?” He asks, his voice shaking. You look up at him with an expression that looked way to much like fear for his liking, “Doll what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, because you’re worrying me a little here” he offers.

“You were with her, plotting. We had kids in hilltop Negan, I was in there” you whisper, “No sweetheart I promise you I was trying to convince her otherwise! Please you gotta believe me, I’d never want kids hurt, and I most certainly don’t want anything happening to you! You’re everything to me!” He exclaimed. You nod with a sigh, “Are you going to tell me what happened then?” You ask, “Yeah ok” he agrees.

So he spent the next hour explaining everything that happened, how he got them to trust him, all the trials they made him do. How he showed alpha that it was gamma betraying her, that eventually he was trusted enough that he could put his plan into action and kill her. He told you that it was Carol who let him out to get revenge for her son, but that she went back on her end of the deal because he wasn’t fast enough. After everything he’d gone through, that made you sad for him, he should have gotten the recognition he deserved.

“So is that everything?” You ask, “No that’s not everything” he mumbles looking nervous and upset, this caused an unsettling feeling in your stomach, “What else happened? Are they planning an attack here?” You worry, “I don’t know in all honesty, if they do we will all face it together, but that’s not what I needed to tell you” he sighs. You motion for him to continue, “After I told her about gammas betrayal she wanted to thank me, said I deserved something to reward me for it. She told me to strip initially and I honestly thought she was going to kill me, but when I turned around she was naked too, she told me sleeping with her was my reward. But I said no, I promise you I didn’t sleep with her, I said it didn’t work anymore and that I’d appreciate her letting me off the humiliation of not being able to ‘perform’, but thank you for the gesture. Thankfully she didn’t press just said she was sorry to hear that.” He explained looking down at his lap like he’d cheated on you or something, “Negan you’re my best friend, not my boyfriend, you don’t owe me any explanation. You did what you had to survive, and I’m happy you’re back in one piece” you offer, not mentioning you knew about the letter.

“Yeah of course, ok well it’s late we should get some rest” he says, trying to hide how hurt he was over your comment. In all honesty the thought of him being intimate with that creep of a woman, made you feel sick, but you didn’t want to deal with these emotions today, you were exhausted and really just wanted to sleep this last awful week off. “Yeah you can use the spare room, its been empty for some time now” you offer, you didn’t have the heart to tell him it used to belong to Glen and Maggie, he was already down trodden and it would only make him feel worse. You showed him to the room, and gave him a clean towel and toothbrush, “Thanks sweetheart, good night”, “Night Negan” you reply before retreating to your own room.

Negan laid there that night thinking over everything in his head, had he miss judged your affection for him as something other than the friendship you’d spent years building. He thought maybe you had deeper feelings for him too, but feelings or no feelings he’d always be there for you, always by your side, because he’d never be able to let this thing between you go.

_______________________________________

Things didn’t stay calm for long, as the fight ended with the whisperers another started with the Reapers. The only good thing to come from it so far, was being reunited with Maggie. You’d been so happy to see her and Hershel alive and well, but this mission she had you all on into the city was a suicide mission. Not to mention the draining reality that she wasn’t even a little over her hate for Negan, which you understood, of course you did.

But it was making the environment toxic for everyone, they both bickered and argued constantly. Negan had argued that Maggie would do anything to see him dead, and that was her main goal of the mission. “I’m real close to shoving a gag in your mouth” Alden retorted, fed up with Negan arguing about the point of the trip, “Well, why don’t you get up on your little tippy toes and try?” Negan sasses back, cocky grin still plastered on his face.

“Ok ok, enough now! Alden shut up, Negan come with me before you push the lot of them into killing ya.” You sigh. Walking away you put your hand in his shoulder to offer some reassurance, “I won’t let you die Negan” you say, trying to call him a little. “I know sweetheart, but I’ve tried to make some amends with your community and it seems you are the only one who’s noticed” he sighs, “ I know, it takes time. Someday they will see you how I see you” you promised. He gives you a small smile, truth is he’s been thinking recently that maybe he’d be better slinking off into the night, leaving Alexandria and starting a new.

The only thing that holds him back is the thought of never seeing you again, he would struggle to move on away from you. Living with you in domestic bliss has been the best life has been in nearly a decade. Even if the arrangement is pretty platonic, too much so for his liking. Though cooking with you everyday, cleaning your home together and sharing movies cuddled on the couch each evening, that is the most joy he’s ever known. But being the most hated man in the community takes its toll, and began is starting to really feel the strain of it now.

Not only that, he hates how it reflects on you too. You always say you don’t care what people think of you, but he can see it on your face. You do care, you just care about him more, which in turn causes his stone heart to grow three sizes. Yeah leaving you was going to be absolute hell.

“Negan!! Are you listening to me at all?” You groan, “Sorry Darlin’ I was in my head” he admits, you sigh before taking his hand in yours, causing his heart to skip a beat like he was some lovesick teenager. “I will talk to her again after this run, let her know how far you’ve come ok, but until then I will not let anyone hurt you ok? You’re my best friend and my favourite person” you smile. “Yeah ok sweetheart, let’s catch up with the others yeah?” He replies, you nod in agreement.

After escaping the city, all of you were exhausted from your close encounters with the walking dead, and the last thing you needed was this! You’d unfortunately found yourselves in another run in with the Reapers, somewhere in the middle of woods, surrounded by the darkness of the night. Everyone was in a struggle with one of their members, but you and Daryl were taken by surprise, one minute you were fighting for your life, the next everything went black.

_______________________________________

Negan was beside himself, he couldn’t find you anywhere and he was starting to fear the worst. “I can’t find her anywhere!!!” He frets, looking to Maggie hoping she had any answer, anything at all. “I didn’t see where she went, but Daryl’s missing too, my best guess is the reapers took them, as I can’t see any bodies” Maggie thinks out loud. ‘Bodies’ that single word now terrifies him, the thought of loosing you makes him feel sick to his stomach.

“We need to find them now! I have to find her” he yells, eyes wide with terror. “We will, let’s regroup and make our way to their community” she plans. Negan nods not trusting his voice right now, he needs to hold you in his arms again, know that you’re ok and breathing. He can’t loose you, he just can’t, you’re his whole reason for existing now, he can’t live without knowing you are ok.

Approaching the facility they are inhabiting it appears well guarded, high walls, soldiers perched atop with guns. They would need one hell of a distraction if they were going to infiltrate the walls. “I have an idea” Negan says, “But you’re not gonna like it”.

Negan new he’d need this mask again one day, god did it stink now! He was trying to show Maggie how to round up walkers by using the mask and the walk. “Argh this is never going to work!” She growls in frustration, “Well not with that attitude it won’t” Negan teases, Maggie shoots him a glare, and if looks could kill, Negan would be six feet under by now!

“Look I know you hate this, but we both care about Y/N so I suggest we pull it together and god forbid get along for one moment, to save those we care about yeah? Then you can go right back to hating me” Negan suggests, voice laced with frustration, you were loosing time and he wanted you back alive, preferably in one piece.

“Yeah ok” she begrudgingly agrees.

_______________________________________

You on the other hand had woken up tied to a chair next to Daryl, watching him be on the verge of drowning every few minutes was horrific. Watching such a good friend be tormented by the woman he cared about, was heartbreaking.

“What about her?” One of the men said pointing at you, “I don’t really care what you do to her, kill her if you must” Leah shrugs. “Don’t touch her!” Daryl spits, this caused Leah to sneer at you, jealousy coursing through her veins as she realised Daryl cared about you. You knew it was familial but clearly she didn’t, you were like a little sister to Daryl, the one he’d managed to save after failing Beth. He couldn’t fail you too it would destroy him, after loosing Rick he’d stepped into that big brother role without you even needing to ask.

As if reading your mind he said “Touch ma little sister n’ I’ll kill ya” venom laced in his words. “Little sister? You must be y/n? I’ve heard a lot about you.” Leah hums and you can tell on her expression that she’s deciding what to do next. All thoughts in your mind halt when she pulls a sharp blade to your cheek, slicing through the top layer of skin, red trickle of blood sliding down your face. Daryl is fighting his restraints, feeling helpless that he can’t help you, you though you didn’t even flinch, watching her with a glare.

“Put them in a cell, I’ll decide what to do with them later” Leah demands, walking out of the room.

You let out a breath in temporary relief, all you wanted right now is to be back in the arms that make you feel safe. After everything you’ve been through in the last 48 hours, you’re not wasting anymore time if you ever see Negan again, you’ll just let yourself love him.

_______________________________________

It was night time before they managed to round up the walkers, marching them towards the gates of the Reapers home. Some of their group snuck off into the facility, to set the plan in motion of getting the walkers inside the gates. The whole things went by in a blur, and the end result was you and Daryl fighting Leah on top the walls ledge. Leah was ready to blow up the whole of your group, before she could light the explosives, you ran at her full speed! Knocking her over with a thump, this caused the wooden ledge you were both on to give out, sending you both her hurtling to the ground, as the ledge caved in on itself.

All Negan could do is watch in horror as the women he loved tumbled through the timber wreckage. He hastily ran towards you dodging bullets, walkers and incoming Reapers. That’s when Maggie saw it, he loved you, she never thought in her wildest days she would see the day Negan truly loved someone. She couldn’t even be mad, because it was you! One of her best friends, the person who could never be cruel to anyone, you’d do anything for anyone, everyone around you loved you.

She ran to help him, he was now frantically searching through the rubble, pulling wood and debris out of the way in a manic search for his whole world. Moments later he was joined by Maggie and Daryl who both helped him to remove enough crap out the way to pull you free. “Shit! Does she hav a pulse?” Daryl asked, Maggie moved her fingers to your neck searching, when she found it the steady thump thump, she relaxed “Yes” she smiled. “Thank god” Daryl breathed.

Negan cradled you in his arms, checking for any major injuries, your limbs were intact and there was only a small bump and cut to the front of your head. As he lifted your top he could see bruising already forming over your ribs, the timber must have fallen on them probably causing some broken ribs. He just hoped there was nothing internal going on, “Come on baby girl wake up for me, I need you to open those beautiful eyes for me sweetheart, I need to know you’re ok!” Negan pleads, but you’re still silent, limp in his arms. Tears streaming down his face he stands up with you still in his arms, “Ya need ta get her outta here” Daryl yells, while taking down walker after walker.

Negan nods knowing he’s right, and takes you out of the war zone, he just prays you’ll wake up soon.

By the time dawn breaks you’re all a safe distance from the wreckage, the Reapers had been defeated and you were on your way home to Alexandria. You were still passed out in Negan’s arms, unaware of everything that had transpired around you. “Ya want me ta carry her for a bit?” Daryl asks, aware that he’d been carrying you hours now. Negan just shakes his head, “No I’m ok” he says, moving a piece of hair from your face. Maggie watches him with deep curiosity, “You love her don’t you?” She asks, “Yeah, I do.” Negan sighs looking down at you again, tears filling his eyes as he sees yet more bruises forming over your face and body.

Maggie nods, “I never thought I’d see the day Negan Smith could actually love someone” she quips, “Well despite popular belief, I’m not a complete monster, I do know what love is. I do now also know what you must have felt like though, that day at the lineup, seeing y/n fall through that, well I thought I’d just lost everything. That was the worst feeling of my life, and I am sincerely sorry for everything I put you through. I understand now how you must have felt, and I wish I could take everything back I really do.” He admits sadly.

“I relive that night every day Negan, it tortures my very soul, and so I can’t forgive you I’m sorry but I just can’t. You fill my every nightmare, and my son must live every day without his father because of you.” Maggie declares, Negan nods in understanding, “No I get it, I could never forgive me either, but still, you deserved an apology” he says.

It goes silent for a moment while Maggie thinks out her next words, “As much as I can’t forgive you, nor will I ever trust you, I can promise I won’t kill ya or hurt you, on the only reason that I can’t hurt her, she’s been through enough. I care about her too much to do that, she’s been there for me when no one else was, she helped me through my pregnancy and delivered Hershel, if she chooses to be with you I’ll respect it.” She determines, Negan looks at her in complete shock, he never expected that from her, “But!” She starts, ‘Oh here it comes’ he thinks “If you ever hurt her! I will kill you! I will not hesitate, do you understand?” Maggie growls, “Yes ma’am” Negan replies, small smile gracing his lips.

_______________________________________

Waking up you find yourself back in Alexandria, you’re in the infirmary that’s one thing you’re sure of, looking to your side you see Maggie asleep in the chair, then you feel a lump on the bed beside you. Looking to your right you see Negan sat on another chair, his head in his arms on your bed, you break into a small grin, he looked so peaceful beside you, like his worries had all drifted away.

Sitting up slightly you feel a sharp pain in your side hissing at the sudden feeling you rouse them both, “Sweetheart your awake! How long you been awake you should have shaken me” Negan worries, “Just a couple of minutes, you both looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you” you answered honestly. “Well you should of” Maggie tsks, “How are ya feeling?” She asks, “Like I’ve been hit by a bus, how did I get back here?” “I carried you back, you’ve broken a few ribs, but otherwise it’s just a lot of bumps and bruises, Siddiq said you’ll be up in a few days, you’ve just got to take it easy” he explains.

“I’ll go find Siddiq, and give ya both a miniute” Maggie announces before leaving the room. “You two seem better?” You ask, “I wouldn’t say better, but we’ve come to an understanding” he admits, “That’s good” you agree. “Negan I thought I’d never see you again” you start “Hey it’s ok I’m here” he says “No let me get this out please, I need too” he nods “ok”.

“I never thought I’d see you again, I thought I’d die at that hell hole and I’d never get the chance to tell you that, I got your letter, I did and I was scared to tell you then but I’m not now, I love you too, I have for a long time I just didn’t know how to deal with those feelings and everything was so chaotic I didn’t feel like I had time to admit to them. But now I can, and if you’d still have me I’d love nothing more than to be yours and see where this relationship can go” he answers you by smashing his lips into yours, the kiss was passionate, loving and everything you’d hoped for now for years. “I’m all yours sweetheart, I have been since the moment I met you” he admits, you pull him in for another kiss, this one much slower but still just as passionate, he smiles against your lips thinking how the hell could he have gotten so lucky, he certainly didn’t deserve it, but you did, you deserved everything and he’d spend the rest of his life showing you just that.

[unhealthyfanobsession]

I saw a post recently about how fandom tends to explode when the original subject matter hits at a specific intersection of interesting but not really good. Because if something is good there’s no need for “fix it’s” and no feeling of unresolved arcs which are the primary drivers of fandom content.

And I can’t stop thinking about it.

I’m in a book club and without fail the best books spark the least conversation. We will all say it’s 5 stars but then DON’T have much to say past a twenty minute praise session and then we move on. Satisfied. Meanwhile, my friend and I often go on hour long rants about ACOTAR even though we both agree the books aren’t actually good in our opinions - but that leaves SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT! Plot holes to dissect and out of character behaviours to be confused by and so. Many. Fix. Its.

Earlier this year I finished a different fantasy series that was SO GOOD! I genuinely loved it and I ran to A03 only to be shocked that there was nothing because it’s a pretty popular series. But then I realized … I didn’t feel compelled to write anything about it either. I was satisfied. And where I wanted to see more of this one character I found out there was another book coming about them and I WANTED to wait to see what the author did because it was GOOD.

And then I realized that often the people in a fandom are bonded by frustration with the original content and it’s rare to find someone in fandom who genuinely loves the original and has few complaints (these people exist and I am always in awe of them but they are less common) Fandom, I think, is often born out of a lack of trust in the creator of the original content.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

[gildeddlily]

absolutely losing my mind because of these two!!!

so.

are these two actually toxic, or are they just kids who don't know how to communicate? easy, they're just kids! (this was fast)

reading the manga will not make you understand that (or im just stupid), and this is why I'm thanking the author on.my.knees for the spin-off!

so.

after watching the anime I fled to ao3, of course. read some works about Rin and Isagi, managed to not spoil myself anything.

then i read the U20 arc. after reading every ryusae I could find (writing one myself rn, doing god's work) I finished to read the manga cause, yk, I wanted to know what would happen with my babies and then boom! Reo and Nagi!!!

I didn't particularly care about them at first: Nagi was strong ofc, but kind of boring? he's not my favourite archetype, and while I loved Reo I hated their fight and wanted nothing to do with them. key word(s), at first.

then, then! I randomly read some fics about them cause they'd started to grow on me, and boom, tons of fics about their breakup/makeup. stunning works, ofc, but I started to see so many "Reo's fault" "Nagi's fault" "toxic relationship" that I kind of started to get uncomfortable (sometimes people throw around the word toxic when it's nothing like that), so what's to do? read the spin off ofc.

that I did, and now not only I love them both with all of my heart, but I'm Reo's number one fan (and kinnie)!

and I developed a deep hatred for those "toxic x" theories and takes. SO. let me blabber and rant.

they love each other so much!!

this is Nagi.

he thinks "damn, soccer/football is a pain, I hate sweating and running, but I don't hate Reo" even though most of the time he spends with Reo is spent playing soccer/football (I won't choose one english is so confusing- in italian it's literally called kick).

he doesn't feel forced to be Reo's friend, he likes it.

because Reo loves him, it's as simple as that.

he wants to be Nagi's friend "despite" Nagi's personality: this is something he currently says through the spin-off, which made me cry- Reo truly is the first person who ever accepted Nagi as someone who is lazy and unmotivated, who complains a lot, who doesn't put any effort in what he does, who doesn't offer much.

Or at least he thinks that he doesn't have anything special to offer, until Reo arrives.

he still has those terribly self-deprecating thoughts, but now he has something to offer, his talent.

(and after a period of happiness, their honeymoon phase one could call it, he starts to doubt the sincerity of Reo's care. from thinking "i'm not his slave, i'm his partner" he starts to doubt Reo's honesty: "maybe he only wanted to be my friend because of my talent, a talent he knows how to use"- since he still thinks that he's got nothing to offer! but we will talk about this later.)

this is Reo!

he thinks "I wanted to be the one who could make you love soccer/football, the one able to light up something in you" but he also thinks "seeing you like that, even if it wasn't me who'd done that, made me happy".

he's so jealous he's almost funny, and isn't that the most teenager thing ever?

who wouldn't be jealous after working so hard to be special to someone, just for someone else to take the place you're working so hard for?

it's terrible, but still, it doesn't stop Reo from being happy that Nagi found something exciting.

something that made Nagi as happy as the combo Nagi-soccer/football made Reo happy.

the thing is, Nagi thinks he's Reo's friend because of his talent, which maybe it's true. maybe, hadn't Nagi been a genius, they wouldn't have become friends, but his talent was the sparkle that made him become Reo's treasure.

Reo is someone who has everything, who gets everything he wants, or as he says everything except what he really wants.

for that, he has to work.

so, what he wants is to play soccer/football, and to play it with Nagi.

(in order to be Nagi's friend, he needs to work hard, because he needs to be honest and gain Nagi's trust- this is how friendship works: even when it seems flawless and easy, there's so much work behind it, and knowing it is important. most of the times we only realise it once we lost that bond- for example, Nagi. Reo already knew it, and this is why he tried so hard to not leave Nagi's side)

at one point, the two things became linked to one another, and his dream turns into "winning with Nagi, my partner". Because Nagi is talented, is special, and Reo saw his talent, and how Nagi was unable to do the same. He wants to show Nagi that soccer/football is fun, that his talent isn't a pain, that he is special, because Nagi doesn't know it, and for Reo a star that doesn't see his its own light? is just preposterous.

He cares for Nagi and loves everything about him, even all the "bad" things, and he doesn't think that Nagi has to change, and this is what, for me, makes their break-up way more serious and relatable for a lot of people.

it triggers a "I'll change to be better" "for me you never had to change" "I need to change for myself" dynamic.

2. changing and longing is way more fun when you're doing it together!!!

so they split up.

Nagi doesn't do it because he likes Isagi more, or because his style of play is more interesting, he does it because Isagi was stronger than Nagi and Reo: entering Blue Lock, Nagi had trust in Reo's ability to use his talent to win, he didn't even think about failing, and while Barou came close to making him feel like he could loose, Nagi overpowered him at the end- but then Isagi beats Nagi, and Reo with him.

Nagi understands that Reo's dream can't become reality if they aren't the strongest, and if being together doesn't work, maybe they should split up, part ways, become stronger and then join forces again, and win everything. win the world cup.

while his friendship with Isagi is sweet and I love them, for Nagi Isagi is like a cyclette.

he'll use the cyclette to get get fit and make his bf swoon over his legs, he won't stay with the cyclette once he doesn't need the training anymore. and even if he will, it will always be just the cyclette he uses to get fit "for" his bf.

(metaphor isn't metaphoring)

Reo doesn't know that.

he knows he's strong, but he knows that Isagi and Nagi are on a whole other level and he feels threatened. he fears that Nagi will choose Isagi instead of him, and he tries desperately to not loose Nagi.

Nagi is his dream. Slowly, day after day, Nagi became part of his dream, and now he's losing not only his best friend but the dream that made him free.

Reo says it himself- he knows that Nagi did the smartest thing by leaving, but he's young and scared and sees it as Nagi leaving him.

He feels abandoned, and he thinks that Nagi is abandoning his dream to go with the bigger fish, the apex predator, in order to become the best striker, by forgetting the promises they made at the start of Blue Lock, to stay together til the end.

Neither of them forgets the other.

Nagi leaves, and all he thinks about it "I need Reo to see this" "I can't wait to let him see how much I've improved", and he misses Reo, just as much as Reo misses him.

the only difference?

Reo is oblivious about Nagi's real feelings and thought process, and his thinking of Nagi turns into spiraling into depression and self-hatred.

so Nagi changes.

he starts to see the beauty in soccer/football, he finally sees what Reo had tried to make him see for months, and he's thrilled. he's having fun. he's grateful that Reo convinced him to not discard Blue Lock immediately. he's different.

different why? because Isagi beat him? because Blue Lock happened?

he changed not when Isagi beat them, but the moment he became Reo's friend, and found a reason to do something.

because Reo was the first person to ever tell him that his laziness, boredom, his oh so troublesome antics were alright, that he was what he was, and he was enough not only for Reo, but for the whole world.

Reo accepted him even when he was set on being static, made him want to change, and now that he's changing he feels worthy of being loved so much.

"you saw something in me back then, you forced to me work hard, and now thanks to you I ('m on my way to) realised my own worth, now I found something exciting"

he changes.

Reo sees him after what, a few days, and he's already improved so much.

and he thinks that he was Nagi's cage, his personal dead weight, that Nagi may have been his treasure but he wasn't Nagi's. that Nagi doesn't need him anymore. if Nagi doesn't need him, what will be of his dream?

(we could start a long-ass post ab mental health and recovering but I won't for my own sanity)

what's his worth then, since he got into Blue Lock just to stay with Nagi till the end- especially when he can't even be number two, with Isagi there- and Nagi won't be with him anymore?

he needs to change too.

3. destroying yourself in order to change (no fun)

Reo says that he isn't brave enough to destroy himself like the others do.

Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Chigiri, they all destroy themselves in order to become stronger and change, evolve, but Reo can't. he's scared, he's confused, the whole arc is just him looking like that. then what does he do?

he lets Nagi destroy him. "If I can't do it, Nagi will" don't you understand you're doing exactly what you say you're unable to do? the fact that you're not the one pulling the trigger doesn't mean that you're not killing yourself

he pushes Nagi until he snaps and tells Reo to fuck off, that he's a pain, that he's weak and someone Nagi doesn't want anything to do with, because that's what Reo thinks.

He thinks Nagi doesn't want to be with him anymore, he's feeling guilty for what he thought (later later), he's insecure- and instead of being reasonable, he founds a way to confirm his "irrational" fears.

"I'm not being insecure since Nagi confirmed it"

he sabotages himself. that's the nail in the coffin.

instead of destroying himself with football/soccer, by learning from a lost match, he destroys himself with life, by putting on the line his relationship with the person he (not exaggerating) loves most in the world.

he's unable to distinguish life from soccer/football (and this will be the aspect that makes him so different from most of the other characters), because since meeting Nagi they've become one thing. soccer/football is his life, Nagi is his life, because they're his only chance at being happy.

(Nagi is able to distinguish between the court and Reo: this way, Reo is just as special as Isagi is, since Isagi may have made him see the fun in soccer/football, but Reo made him get angry. Nagi who thinks that his strong quality is the fact he never gets angry, that he's a pacifist. Isagi is his soccer/football revolution, Reo is his life revolution.

Reo can't. they all insult each other on the field, but they're all friends afterwards. not Reo. not yet)

now he's lost Nagi, and his dream, and he has to pick himself up from the ground.

this is how Reo changes.

4. miscommunication is a beast

As I said before, Nagi starts to think that Reo only cared about him because of his talent. he's angry at Reo. he doesn't understand why Reo said those things, why he was so stupid, why he didn't understand Nagi.

he says "I'm not his toy" and he isn't, but really, try to get into his shoes.

he thinks his partner, his best friend, doesn't believe in them as a duo anymore, doesn't want to believe in them like he used to now that Nagi has changed, now that he's more "independent" from Reo.

"what, now that I know how to fight alone, he doesn't want me anymore?" that would be anyone's first thought.

and he doubts Reo's trust in their dream.

when did Reo start to have so little faith in them, in Nagi? when did he give up on them? he thinks that, after spending weeks trying to improve just to make Reo's dream true.

and he's angry, but he still hopes to play with Reo again.

he still want to, because him and Reo are partners and Nagi still believes in their dream. because he remembers Reo's passion, and he believes in him.

+) 5. being relatable as fuck

(what kid with absent/abusive parents never thought back on their action and went anxiously all "Am I just like them?")

Reo begs Nagi to stop being so strong, stop improving so quickly, stop running towards a place Reo can't reach yet, and isn't this a human thing to do? He desperately wants to be with Nagi, and thinks that he'd rather stop him from improving rather than lose him. He thinks "Please, give up on your dream, your ego"- and isn't that familiar?

he just thought the same thing his father, a man he hates and despises and who doesn't believe in Reo, told him. and he said that to Nagi. Nagi who gave him a ticket to the top by being at his side, who let him see hope.

he panics. am I just like him? Am I cruel enough to wish for someone to give up on their dreams, just to get something out of their failure?

he's different from his father, because he's seventeen, he's scared to lose his best friend, and we can be irrational in situations like this one. does he know it? no, the same way he doesn't understand that Nagi didn't left because of him.

so yes, he's in the worst head-space ever.

isn't he relatable? this is what that made reo my favourite character in a second, probably. he's so human and he makes so many mistakes and he's so stupid sometimes, but I can see myself in him very clearly.

and now.

in what way is their relationship not balanced? their love and care not mutual? in what way one used or manipulated the other?

I think they're flawed, and they made mistakes, and they hurt each other, but I also think that we throw in the word "toxic" the moment a relationship isn't perfect.

they're friends and they're teens, they will make mistakes and they will hurt each other, and their friendship (and they were roommates) won't be perfect- this doesn't make it less genuine or beautiful.

don't get me started on what happens in the manga (really don't do it) (all of this was just nagi's spin off!!!)

[viquipo]

No bc I'm so mad rn I usually post my rants on ig stories but I need the tumblrites to tell me if I'm crazy or what. Jwcc/ct spoilers WHATEVER

First of all I want to preface this by saying that this is just my opinion on the matter, I'm not saying your headcanons are "wrong" or whatever tf, it's a kids cartoon where they unironically use terms like "fam". You can play with the characters however you'd like.

That being said, this is why TO ME it does not makes sense for Ben to be anything other than gay. Again, if you think he's bi or straight or anything else that's cool. I'm also leaning towards the opinion that he does actually have a girlfriend. I don't think the shows gonna pull a 180 on it because, realistically, 2 queer characters is already a lot for a DreamWorks kids show. As much as I'd like it not to be.

But, since the beginning, Ben has been very clearly coded as exclusively into men to me. Before finally going into it, I remind everyone on here that I'm a lesbian. I have felt an affinity with his character specifically for the experience of only liking the same gender. I might be totally projecting.

Ok, so.

1. The arc Ben goes through during the show is yes, one of self discovery, but also one of self acceptance. He changes a lot from the start of s1, but he also comes to terms with stuff himself or other people didn't like about him. He doesn't throw the dork pouch away or tells Kenji to keep it, the first thing he does when he takes it back from Kenji is put on hand sanitizer. He is covered in dirt, he's not afraid of filth anymore, but he still does that action because it's part of who he is as a person. He also becomes very unashamed at the things he does. He went from being embarrassed of his carob bars to eating grubs in front of people who he knows think it's gross. He knows himself as he is and he accepts it. To me (and to lots of other people) this works very well as a gay metaphor, and pairs up pretty nicely with the whole "jungle boy? Jungle MAN" arc being a trans metaphor. But how does this make Ben uniquely into men?

Well, it doesn't. But I think this next one does.

2. Enter Yasmina. She's pretty, she's smart, athletic, funny, all that good stuff. I'm not saying that means every wlm character should automatically be into her, but it certainly helps. Now forgive me if I don't remember specific episodes/seasons, but we all remember that episode where Ben convinces himself that Yaz is in love with him for some reason. When he "rejects" her, he says : "I'm just now starting to find myself". That's cool, cause I'm pretty sure Ben's " finding himself " personality wise was over and done a couple of seasons ago. To me, that is a really good hint at him dealing with his gayness.

3. He's also the first person Yasmina talks to about her feelings for Sammy. Now, in this particular context, the options for Yaz to talk to were Darius, Brooklynn, or Ben. It would initially seem to make more sense for her to confide in Brooklynn, since the two of them are far closer than her and Ben, and it also wouldn't be the first time she brings up Sammy as a romantic interest for Yaz (see: everyone tweaking abt that one line back in like s2). So why does Yasmina, a very private and reserved person, choose Ben to talk to about her same sex crush? She has probably gathered from the previous conversation that Ben relates to her struggle in a unique way in which Brooklynn just can't. Ben seems very receptive of what Yaz is saying ("feelings, am I right?") and it seems like he REALLY gets where she's coming from.

4. This is one I don't see talked about a lot, and maybe it's just cause I'm too out of the loop with the fandom, but I want to examine it as well. It's when Ben decides to not actually stay on the island. Everyone (except Sammy) already knew he wasn't going to stay in the end, but still didn't force him out. I think this is especially clear in a line Darius says when they reunite on the boat that goes something like "you needed to figure it out on your own" *smile hand on shoulder combo*. No explanation needed I think

I am diagnosed with autism did you guys know what

[confusedgayscreeching]

Hi! It’s been a while lol- I’m gonna try to get back to posting semi-regularly but I make no promises! I am currently feeling very frustrated about the arguments about Stolitz I’m seeing verywhere and I need to rant so here we are!

Okay so one thing I think a lot of people trip up with in analyzing this relationship is comparing them in the way of “who is worse.” To me that’s weird and not a realistic or productive way to talk about out this. They both suck in their own ways and it makes more sense to analyze how they effect each other and themselves rather than arguing over something so subjective, especially since even if we were able to come to a conclusion as a fandom about who is worse (which again is not possible to do objectively) it wouldn’t do anything or move the conversation forward at all.

Blame shifting and villainizing characters because you relate to one more or understand one more might make you feel good but it doesn’t actually contribute to the conversation. They both do fucked up things at different points and they both suck sometimes, but to me it makes more sense and is more interesting to look at how they both effect each other and their psychology, especially because trying to assign morality to any actions in a show like this is redundant and misses the point- looking at it from an outside lens and saying “x is bad so they are bad” doesn’t mean anything within the context of the show or the relationship and it never has.

I know a lot of us love these characters and/or relate heavily to them but starting arguments online because someone suggests your poor little meow meow possibly isn’t perfect is genuinely just dumb and doesn’t move the conversation forward at all, nor does it help us resolve or continue the conversation in a satisfying way.

This show and these characters are fucked up. They’re meant to be fucked up. They do awful things that can’t be justified and that’s just the point. When you make it a competition it doesn’t do anything for anyone and all you end up doing is invalidating other people’s feelings and opinions whether you mean to or not.

We all need to try to be more neutral and just acknowledge why each character might feel a certain way without feeling the need to justify that feeling or make them a martyr. Just like with people in real life a character’s emotions are just their emotions, they don’t need to be justified or have an arguable reason for feeling that way, feelings are valid no matter what, and what matters is how they handle those feelings.

Idk about anyone else but one of the reasons I fell in love with Hazbin hotel and helliva boss is because they’re all awful and irredeemable but they’re still sentient beings who are written in a way that shows they still deserve empathy and love, the show isn’t trying to force these characters to justify their existence by being good and that’s beautiful because the idea that human decency is conditional is far too prevalent.

Idk this will probably seem preachy and long winded but it just feels silly and disingenuous to try to talk about right/wrong with these characters or this show in general, especially considering that it ignores the more emotional inner reasons for why these characters act the way they do, which is so much more interesting to explore.

[anifever]

can you pls do an outsiders x Nerdy fem reader? Like, braces boy band fangirl who rants about comics type. Would rather have it being Curtis sister reader but you can do whatever, tyy <33

Gang w/ a Nerdy!Reader ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

The Outsiders x Fem!Reader

୨୧ : The Curtis gang with a nerdy reader

A/N : This is kinda bad bcs I get unmotivated to write sometimes but I swear I’m trying omg. Also I didn’t do Curtis sister simply so it’d be more ambiguous, sorry 💔 Anyways this is literally me except I just don’t have braces anymore

˖⁺‧₊˚ 👓 ˚₊‧⁺˖

Darry

୨ You cut pics of The Rolling Stones members, etc out of the newspapers he reads and keep them

୨ He’s confused at first then he’s like “Oh..” when he realizes what’s happening- he doesn’t mind tho

୨ You write the dumbest little notes/pickup lines and put them in his lunch bag for work

୨ He doesn’t understand most of them but he likes them regardless

୨ He read comics here and there when he was a kid, but he definitely doesn’t anymore 😭

୨ He’s always arguing with Pony about those things and just doesn’t really get it

୨ Even though he doesn’t understand yours and Pony’s infatuation with stuff like that, he thinks it’s nice you’re able to bond with each other over it

୨ At some point you convince him to watch one of your favorite sci-fi type tv shows with you whenever he isn’t busy

୨ It’s a pipeline of him saying he doesn’t like it, pretending he doesn’t like it, then being really invested in it

୨ Anyways, even if your interests don’t exactly line up, you still love each other

୨ You rambling over stuff all the time honestly helps him forget about the stress in his life

Two-Bit

୨ He has no room to talk when his favorite show is still Mickey Mouse at the age of 18 and a half

୨ He thinks it’s cute in an endearing way

୨ He makes fun of you a bit but he doesn’t mean it seriously- that’s just how he is

୨ You guys discuss superheroes together and get way too in depth about it

୨ When he sees your room for the first time there’s like little figurines everywhere, etc and he’s just like “Huh, I have that one too” while pointing at the Hulk or something

୨ He doesn’t gaf, at least it’s clean unlike his

୨ If you have braces, he’s absolutely making jokes about it

୨ You’re getting called metal mouth but it’s out of love I promise

୨ He doesn’t let other people make jokes about it though

୨ Like that’s his job!!! Leave his girl alone!!!

୨ This man defends you with his life I’m so serious

୨ Anyways, whenever he gets super drunk and he starts rambling the exact same way you do normally so it sort of evens you out

୨ Idk what else to even say because you both just make so much sense- it seems so obvious

Steve

୨ I hate to say it, but he calls you brace-face

୨ Ironic because he needs some himself!!! 😊

୨ You said something along those lines to him once and he was so caught off guard and offended

୨ Even though he’s a smartass and you’d figure he’d be mean abt it, I feel like he’s probably kinda the same as you- at least when he was younger

୨ Bro knows his DC and Marvel lore

୨ You guys are constantly re-watching ‘Godzilla’ together

୨ There’s probably a picture of him from when he was younger dressed as it for Halloween or something too

୨ You have made him go to a concert with you

୨ He didn’t even really care about you freaking out over the guys, he was more upset that you chose The Beach Boys of all people

୨ He considers it “Soc music”

୨ You most likely don’t understand anything about cars

୨ He could sit there for hours trying to explain stuff to you and it just won’t click

୨ He’s like “How can you remember every fucking Beach Boys song but not what an exhaust does??”

୨ Okay you probably aren’t that dense but still

Dallas

୨ Yeahhh, he’s making fun of you

୨ It’s out of love tho 😇 most of the time..

୨ You constantly make references about comics and shows and he has no clue what you’re talking about

୨ You use the word kryptonite around him and he’s like “..What the HELL did you just say to me?”

୨ Most of the things you ramble about, he doesn’t understand, like, at all

୨ Much to his dismay, he can’t help his features from softening when he watches you do it

୨ You definitely gives him a break from all the reckless crazy stuff he does

୨ You use so many big words (they usually aren’t that crazy) and he’s just like “Could you speak English?”

୨ When he first went inside your room, it was covered in posters from movies like ‘Dracula,’ ‘Creature from the Black Lagoon,’ ‘Psycho,’ ‘Frankenstein,’ ‘The Birds,’ etc

୨ At first he was like “Jesus…” but really he thought it was pretty cool

୨ You guys are horror movie enjoyers⁉️

୨ You’re probably more of a geek over them than he is, but it’s just barely (he’d never admit it)

Soda

୨ You definitely fangirl over The Beatles and it lowkey hurts his feelings

୨ You have to be like “Soda.. you literally look like a movie star why are you worried-”

୨ Yes you know Paul’s blood type, time of birth, and who his fourth cousin twice removed is; so what? 🙄

୨ Knowledge-wise you balance each other out

୨ You have amazing grades in all your classes and he’s dropped out 🤍 but on the other hand, you are not very street smart

୨ Like if you have a gun held to your head, let’s hope they’ll ask you trivia about ‘The Twilight Zone’ for your freedom

୨ Anyways, he tries to keep up with and understand the stuff you talk about

୨ Give him time 💔 he’s trying

୨ He probably already knows a bit from having grown up with Pony, but it’s still nothing crazy

୨ He carries around extra wax for your braces in his pocket in case they ever start hurting you (idk if they were invented yet in the 60’s but let’s pretend)

୨ Throws wrenches and things like that at Steve if he says stuff about you

୨ You get pretty insecure since he’s so popular with girls and they usually aren’t like you; but he’s always reassuring you over it

Johnny

୨ You guys read comics together

୨ He’s a spider-man lover and I’ll die on this hill

୨ Someone write Johnny Cade spider-man au rn

୨ He’s constantly telling Dallas to “lay off” when he says stuff about you

୨ Finds your braces cute- he thinks they just add to your charm

୨ Anything that helps him somewhat escape reality, he enjoys; he gladly talks about nerdy stuff with you

୨ He gets along with Pony so well and he has most of those interests, and it’s the same way with you

୨ You guys sit in the lot and stargaze constantly; each time you point out and name the constellations along with explaining their backstories

୨ He listens with a fond smile on his face every time

୨ He thinks it’s cool you’re able to remember all of that

୨ You’re both just so cute I’m crying

୨ Whenever he comes over, he always admires the figures, posters, books, etc you have around your room

Pony

୨ Idc his ass is also a nerd

୨ Maybe not in the exact ways you are, but he definitely still is

୨ You help him in certain classes he’s not doing well in which he is extremely thankful for

୨ You guys also read comics together 😋

୨ Usually you make him read them out loud though since you love his voice and also think he’s good at the sound effects

୨ That being said, you both give each other book recommendations

୨ You guys go to the drive-in/theater together constantly and have heavy debriefings over all of the movies (mainly the sci-fi ones)

୨ You guys are both big fans of Elvis

୨ He’s a fan music-wise, you’re a fan of literally everything

୨ You’ve seen every single one of his movies. Multiple times.

୨ Definitely makes him a little jealous but he tells himself it’s not a big deal

୨ He can’t even be mad at you geeking out when he preforms on TV, he understands

୨ All that being said, you guys actually go really well together

[goamu-blog]

Needed to get my thoughts in ordering about SY and LBH relationship, so I did this. Starting this off with, I don't understand why they are together or even have a romantic relationship. Their entire romantic relationship never really developed. To me, LBH and SY romantic relationship does not feel real or convincing in any way.

Everytime I see something about their love for each other, I'm always like, what love is there between them. How can they love each other when they don't even know the others' true personality and thoughts. They don't really know each other in any deep and meaningful way.

SY entire outer personality and actions are a complete front he puts on. He acts the part of a composed, elegant, lofty, immortal scholar. But that is not who he remotely is on the inside, his actual inner personality and thoughts are that of an internet hater, an anti fan, conceited, self centered, narrow minded, homophobic/transphobic(just because he is in a gay relationship doesn't make him any less homophobic/transphobic), and a bit sexist. Any time he meets a woman, the first thing he does is comment on their appearance and that they belong to LBH. He even treats NYY that way, someone he has known since she was a young teen, and seeing him commenting on her appearance and breast didn't endear him to me.

So yeah, SY never shows LBH or anyone else his real personality. He just puts up a front that is not even close to his actual inner personality. Actually, that is not quite right, the only one he does show some of his real self to is SQH. And SY treats SQH terribly. He is always demeaning and disregarding SQH. SY thinks he is better than SQH and that he knows the world and characters better than SQH, the author. Even when SQH tells SY that not all women wanted LBH, SY doesn't believe him because he believes he knows better than SQH. SY also fully expected SQH to die at some point and was fine with it since he was surprised that SQH was still alive when they met after the time skip.

I can honestly go on and on about how SY is actually not even a remotely good person like the fandom believe and likes to portray him as, I actually already did something like that in a past post, but I can definitely add plenty more to it. I think I could do an essay on it if I had the time, energy, and motivation, but I don't so I will just leave it here before it turns into a SY is actually not a good person at all rant.

SY's entire outer personality is a complete front he puts on for the world. He is acting the part of a composed, elegant, lofty, immortal scholar. But that is not who he really is. SY only shows his inner and actual personality to SQH and no one else, not even LBH gets to see SY'S real personality.

As for LBH, to me, LBH seems like he only shows SY that parts of him that he knows SY will be fine with, won't make SY uncomfortable, and will get him attention and affection. LBH will only act in a way that he knows SY will approve of. In that way, he also doesn't completely show his real personality in its entirety.

While I'm on LBH'S personality, to me, it seems like the novels really never developed LBH. For being a main love interest, the books never spend much time with him or give him enough dialog. It's like LBH was a side character instead. The novels also never gave LBH anything outside of SY. LBH doesn't have any ambitions, goals, friends, or interests. Everything about LBH is tied to SY, LBH doesn't have anything outside of SY. To me, that really dulled LBH character. The novels didn't treat LBH like a main love interest, it treated him like a side character.

Now on to how they are as a couple. They have nothing in common nor any interest together. SY has more in common with LQG, and they have the same interests in monsters. SY and LBH don't have that, they don't have anything in common or have any shared interests. To me, SY and LQG make more sense as a couple then SY and LBH do, because at least I can say that LQG and SY actually have things in common and shared interests, unlike LBH and SY.

I remember seeing a post about how the reason SY and LBH are a good couple is because SY accepts LBH as he is, with all his jealousy and insecurities, and that it is romantic and that's why they like them. I do not think they realize that jealousy and insecurities do not in fact, make for a long and healthy romantic relationship at all. It just shows how insecure LBH is in the relationship.

On to their communication, they do not have any. SY is completely incapable of communicating in any deep, truthful, and meaningful way. Anytime that SY had any insight or even a little deeper understanding of LBH happened because SY was going through LBH'S mind. Not because they actually talked to each other. And even then, SY's understanding was only surface, and even afterward, he never actually talked to LBH about anything important. SY never ever tries to communicate in any meaningful way.

Also, SY never once apologized to LBH for everything he put him through. He never even thought of it.

As for LBH, like I said before, LBH only acts in ways he knows SY will approve off, and that will get him some affection. Unless LBH is at a breaking point, he will not open up about anything deeper because it could upset SY and make him uncomfortable. So LBH will not open up to SY about anything deeper. He will keep it to himself even if it is bothering him. LBH will not bring up the past and question SY's actions, even if he needs to. To me, that shows that LBH is not comfortable with communicating and opening up to SY in any deep and meaningful way. It shows that LBH is not comfortable showing SY his authentic self.

He only expresses a little of his deeper self when he is at a breaking point, SY does anything he can to placate him, and they never again dring it up, which is very not good or healthy in a relationship.

The way I see it, as a couple, neither LBH nor SY show each other their true selves or communicate properly. SY because his entire outer personality is a total front(a lie) he puts on and never shows anyone(expect SQH) his real self, and he is incapable of any deeper communication or even thoughts, he only ever gets a slightly deeper understanding of LBH when he goes through his mind, and even then if understanding is surface only. SY never tries to have any deeper understanding or communication with LBH.

And LBH because he does not want to upset SY or make him uncomfortable. LBH will act in the ways he knows SY will approve off and get him affection. Add that on top of his jealousy and insecurities, and it makes me think that LBH is insecure about the relationship.

The part that cemented my feelings on them as a couple, that it did not feel real or convincing in any way, is in the extras, the 100 questions chapter. Usually those type of questionnaires are supposed to be fun little things for a couple to do together, so that they can reminisce about their relationship, show how well they know and appreciate each other, and have a fun back and forth conversation with banter. But that was not the case for LBH and SY.

As far as I remember, SY never once said anything that I would consider to be genuinely positive or romantic about LBH. SY was always brushing LBH off throughout the whole thing. And LBH was just like, I like everything about shizun, without going into specifics.

When asked what their partner is like, SY only said little negative things about LBH. And what got to me about this whole thing and made me feel the way that I do about them is, when LBH heard SY comments he got watery eyes, and SY was like better think of something positive and nice to say about LBH so that he does not cry, and the only thing SY could think off was that LBH was a good listener and very obedient.

The only good thing SY had to say about LBH is that he is obedient. In real life, if someone said all of these little negative things about their partner and then went on to say, well the good thing about them is that they are obedient, they would be rightfully criticized to hell and back by others. If someone I was in a relationship with said that about me, there would not be a relationship between us anymore.

When their sex life came up in the questionnaire, SY just laughed at it. His reaction to their sex life was to laugh in what I would assume to be in a mocking way because LBH once again got watery eyes if I remember that right. And SY makes absolutely no attempt to improve their sex life. He is not invested in their relationship or has any want to improve it.

The entire 100 questions chapter, along with plenty of other things in the novels, just made me feel that SY is not at all enthusiastic about his romantic or sexual relationship with LBH. Also, just because someone can appreciate someone else's looks and have sex with them does not necessarily mean they have romantic or sexual feelings towards that other person. People can and do have sex with others without feeling sexual or romantic feelings.

There was not one moment in all of the novels where I could think that SY was ever enthusiastic about his relationship with LBH or even had a romantic thought about LBH. I never felt that SY was at all excited about their relationship. It felt more like it was just something that happened to SY, so he went along with it without being truly invested in it.

Another thing about their relationship, their entire relationship only happened because of the very specific circumstances they are in. In any other situation they would not be in a romantic relationship. The only reason they are in a romantic relationship is because SY is controlling SJ's body. The fandom goes on about how SY's kindness saved the world, but it only worked because he was specifically controlling SJ's body.

If the only thing LBH needed to not ruin the world was for someone to show him kindness, then the kindness NYY's always showed to LBH would have worked, but it did not. Because it is specifically SJ's kindness, approval, and acceptance that LBH needed. LBH fell for SJ at first sight and had spent a few years with him, and as soon as the one who LBH thought was SJ showed him acceptance and kindness LBH was all for him. If SY had somehow transmigrated as himself in his own body or if he had taken over and replaced anyone else, if he had been a regular person, a disciple, some other peak lord or cultivator, or anyone else that was not SJ, LBH and SY would not have had a romantic relationship.

LBH and SY are only in a romantic relationship because it is specifically SJ's body that SY is controlling. LBH believes he is in a relationship with SJ. In any other circumstances where SY is not controlling SJ's body, LBH and SY would not have a romantic relationship.

Also, I will like to point out that anytime I see someone complementing SY looks and saying how beautiful he is, it seems that everyone forgets that that is not actually SY's looks and body right, that is SJ's looks and body. Anytime anyone says how beautiful SY is, it is actually SJ. We never ever saw SY actual looks and body, it has always been SJ. SJ is the one that is beautiful, not SY.

A few other things about their relationship, SY does not treat LBH like a romantic partner. He treats LBH the same way he did when LBH was a teen. And his relationship with LBH when LBH was a teen was very inappropriate and manipulative on SY's part, which SY being a modern person should have known, but I'm not going to get into that here. SY still calls LBH child and treats him as a live in maid, the same way he treated LBH as a teen, only now they are married and have bad sex.

Also, SY never really sees LBH as anything else other than the protagonist. Even after he had his little surface level realization. To SY, LBH will always be the protagonist first and foremost. And that shows to me that SY's care for LBH is surface level only. Sure SY cares about LBH, but SY cares about LBH the way one would care about their favorite characters, that is why to SY LBH will always be the protagonist first and foremost, anything else is secondary and unimportant.

SY and LBH entire romantic relationship, BingQiu, feels like a lie. Neither of them, but especially SY, show the other their true selves. Neither of them have anything in common or shared interests. Neither of them can communicate in any affective and deeper way, and in SY's case, it is a complete inability to communicate or even have any deeper thoughts.

SY was never enthusiastic about his romance or sexual relationship with LBH or even had a truly romantic thought about LBH. SY makes absolutely no effort to improve his relationship(romantic/sexual) with LBH because he is not invested in it. SY treats the relationship like it was just something that happened to him and is going along with it. Probably because that is what happened, SY only decided to be with LBH right after LBH tried to destroy the world and that just made it seem and feel like SY was placating LBH for his survival by being with him and not because SY actually wanted to be in a relationship with LBH. It is like SY is trying to keep LBH content and under control by being with him. Also, just appreciating someone's looks does not make for romantic or sexual feelings. SY does not treat LBH like a romantic partner, he treats LBH the same way he did when LBH was a teen and like a live in maid. If LBH and SY were not in the very specific situation where SY is controlling SJ's body, they would not have a romantic relationship. If SY was himself or controlling anyone else's body other than SJ body, LBH and SY would not be in a relationship.

So yeah, those are my thoughts on them. The entirety of BingQiu's relationship is based on a lie, so it feels like a lie. Their relationship does not feel real, and it is the least convincing romantic relationship I have ever read. And once again, SY absolutely refuses to make any sort of effort to improve their relationship in any way because he is not invested in it. SY treats their relationship like an obligation, just something he has to do. Calling their(bq) relationship romantic is a little insulting to actual romantic relationships in fiction. Their relationship does not have what it takes to be a long and healthy relationship.

[busterswritehand]

You're Timeless To Me

-

Roughly 180 years after the events of ACOSF, Lucien looks up to find that he is surrounded by strangers. Meanwhile, Nesta realizes she has stayed still while the world around her keeps moving. Misery loves company, but these two can hardly make small talk.

-

Interlude

-

The ringing of the telephone echoed throughout the house. Its shrillness was nothing less than an annoyance. Elain cursed the day her sisters talked her into getting one. She covered her head with a pillow, trying to drown out the telephone's incessant sound.

Tamlin nudged her legs towards the edge of the bed silently. She groaned in objection. If the telephone didn't wake Elain, her mate's cold feet did. At least they were both up.

"It's not my family that's calling," Tamlin mumbled dryly.

Elain hit him with her pillow as she sat up. She always found those jokes tasteless, but she could tell that her mate was amused by the rise and fall of his shoulders.

She slipped out of bed and drug herself down the hall to the sitting room. To her chagrin, the telephone was still ringing.

Plopping down, Elain answered the phone.

"He was there tonight," Nesta's words shot out of the phone before Elain had the chance to say anything.

"Who?" Still groggy from sleep, Elain haphazardly looked at the clock across the room. It was too late to process whatever rant Nesta was about to go on.

"You know who."

"Maybe if I was fully awake. But I'm not so tell me."

"Lucien."

Elaine blinked. That was not the name she was expecting.

"Feyre invited him," Nesta continued.

"Oh."

"Is that all? 'Oh?'"

"Should there be more?" In truth, it did surprise Elain enough to bring her to her senses. As far as she knew, the two hadn't been close in ages. But then again, neither were Feyre and herself.

Over the phone, Nesta paused for a moment. Elain could almost hear her thinking. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Why?"

"Why not? You're our sister, yet you aren't here because of . . . him." Elain flinched at the word. She knew Nesta was referring to Tamlin. It was her mating bond with him that separated the sisters in more ways than one. "But she can invite Lucien who lied to us about your bond. Something he had no right to do."

"And I let him lie."

"You didn't know better."

"I did."

Another pause. It was an unspoken truth that Nesta had always refused to acknowledge. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation or maybe it was time that finally led Elain to call it out.

"If I didn't know better," Elain broke the silence, "I'd say that you took it more personally than me or Feyre."

"Yeah right," Nesta scoffed.

Elain chuckled. She nestled herself into the chair in a more comfortable position, tucking her legs into her chest.

"It's long over now. Give him another chance."

Silence.

"Nesta."

"Fine."

"Thank you." Elain smiled in satisfaction. "Did you talk Cassian's ear off before calling me?"

"Weren't you tired before," Nesta retorted.

"You woke me up. Now you're stuck with me."

"I could hang up right now."

"You won't."

Elain could hear Nesta's begrudgingly amused chuckle no matter how hard she tried to hide it. She twirled the phone line with her finger waiting for a response to her question.

"Well, how is Cassian?"

The quiet that followed alarmed Elain, but not as much as Nesta's response."

"We . . . we haven't talked in over a week."

Elain sat up, "He wasn't at the party tonight?"

"Rhysand said he's coming in tomorrow with Nyx." Nesta's words tugged at Elain's heart. She couldn't bear the thought of being separated from her mate like Nesta so often was. Elain didn't understand how she dealt with it.

"Is there something you want to tell me," Elain pressed gently.

"No. This works for us." Nesta said, nearly cutting Elain off. "You wouldn't get it."

"Alright." She knew, or rather hoped, that Nesta would tell her in her own time.

"How are the kids," Nesta asked.

Elain knew Nesta was prolonging the conversation, but she would stay on the phone for however long her sister needed. They talked about everything and nothing. How quickly her children were growing, the plans for Starfall, if Elain had begun work for Calanmai, and if Nesta would come. Eventually, Elain began to dose off as they breached the topic of the new romance book Nesta had been reading. She was ranting over contrived cliches and how unrealistic it was to constantly fight for love. Honestly, Elain could barely keep up.

She didn't remember how the call ended. All Elain could recall was heavy footsteps and her mate's gentle embrace as he picked her up and carried her to bed.

[tinyfishtits]

Okay okay okay— not sure how much you care for Amos, but I care for Amos and Micah and love hearing people’s interpretations of them: their childhood, their history, childhood memories they shared, what split them apart, If Micah still cares for Amos all these years later, etc.

This is my first time sending in an ask that could be turned into a brief drabble so I don’t know how this goes, but, feel free to just word vomit your thoughts. Bullet points or written out, anything works, all would make me super happy.

Ever since I heard Micah talk about his family by the campfire in chapter 2 and say this about Amos; 

“What kind of man lives by the SEA? Hm? I ASK YOU! Huh? HUH? The kind of man that gets told where to live by his wife. (insert the most adorably deranged giggling) Ain't no woman never told me nothin’, apart from ‘Make yourself scarce!’ And that suits me about fine…” 

But he says the last And that suits me about fine… in such a dejected, sad lil way and drifts off into silence I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT 😩

Okay but my biggest Bell family headcanon is that they were so Winchester coded when they were all together. Micah being the oldest took after his dad and the ‘family business’ and even though he loves Amos he grew to resent him for not only being, how he puts it, a “spineless coward” but because he most likely had to teach and care for him while his dad was busy finding leads on new jobs or just drinking himself into oblivion. 

Micah needs risk, excitement and challenge in his life. And the fact that his little brother was SO wildly different from him// compassionate, cried the first time Micah had him shoot a rabbit. Empathetic, tried to comfort Micah after his father beat him (which I guarantee he was abused -  Held under a way harsher lens than his brother) longed for something more. Amos probably wanted to be a tradesman of some sort, can see him having been OBSESSED with trains when he was little and always wanting to stop and watch them go by, pestering Micah to please please please take the train to the next town instead of riding there. // 

His difference was probably a big disappointment to Micah, but even more so because I think he truly loved and cared for his brother and didn’t want to see him broken the way he was. He pushed him away, mocked and belittled him both because Micah can’t admit he wants those things because he so deeply believes he doesnt deserve them… His father deluded him into thinking there was strength in solitude. And it was his way of telling Amos he wasn’t fit for the life they led, to get the fuck out while he still could. 

In the end, I think it brings Micah a lot of closure to hear Amos made it out and has a family, i like to think the man even shed a tear reading that letter, thinking of the little boy that cried when he killed a rabbit even though they’d been starving for weeks. The boy he practically raised by himself. Thinking of him happy. UGH. 

Also i love the name Amos??? Like what are you, a cookie? it’s SO CUTE! Anyway… Thanks for indulging me in a lil Micah/Amos rant. I love them and I love you for asking about them thank you Meeks!!! BOUNUS REC: Purl_30 writes Micah so well and has a few pre-gang bell fics, one in particular - and the entire reason I fell in love with this damn gunslinger in the first place - is The Survivor ! Amos and Micah Bell II are characters in this fic as well. It’s personally canon for me as Micah’s origin HIGHLY RECOMMEND !!

<3