#i only have high school education
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Look, I have many issues with the Emily of New Moon series, but I really don't think Emily would stop writing after she married.
#emily of new moon#l.m. montgomery#lmmblogging#mary rubio can have her opinions#but it shows that academics can also be biased#i'm not as clever as most folks here. i never finished any college#i only have high school education#but i know that lmm herself wrote after she got married#in fact she wrote some of her best pieces as a married woman#elizabeth gaskell was a writer and also a minister's wife#a whole generation before lmm#maybe mary rubio just dislikes teddy#mypost
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love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what
#school and home life are too much to handle so i skip school#because i cant kick my parents out#and appartments cost money#and i dont have a car to sleep in#i could maybe try to dig up my old childhood tent but that brings a whole host of logistic questions + im scared and it's difficult#anyway. it's fine. it's cool. i just have to hold on until i graduate high shcool and then ?????#find a way to live without my parents money OR scholarships#all for some nebulous end goal of having a job (the only field i'm interested in and good at offers two options:#to become an academic#or to become a freelancer#i do not have the fortitude to be an academic and being a freelancer is convoluted and pays like shit)#i might've spent 24h without my parents occasionally if i spent the night at a friend's place once or twice recently#but besides that the last time i've gone 48h without my parents was when the mental health center organised a week camp uhhhh...#two summers ago#incredibly good for my mental health as you can see#god i remember like... years ago. around 13yo maybe or 14. a guy. i dont know if he was a mental health professional or like social cases#but anyway he told me ''you're too afraid to be away from mommy and daddy'' and it made me want to rip his eyes out#several other people have implied or suggested that too over the years and it's just#am i too dependant on my parents? yes. will it be difficult to take my independance? yes.#does it means i don't both rationally recognize and feel that this is really fucking unhealthy and hindering for me#on top of being unpleasant?#FUCK NO#i want out my guy. there's just not many opportunities for an already mentally ill teenager#now that i'm eighteen i have to grapple with the logistical problems of the money needed and how to continue my education#and im sure a billion more if i start searching a little more seriously#perhaps i should kill myself that way i don't cost anyone any more money#broadcasting my misery#vent
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so basically “the gifted kid” is a smokescreen for increasing and/or affirming white privilege/white supremacy?
i’m not the right person to explain this at great length, so i won’t, but—intelligence testing has a long and complicated relationship with classism and racism. gifted (and other sped) programs rely on that testing.
that’s as far as i’m willing to explain as a non-expert, lmao. if you want to know more, there’s about 573857 pages of research/opinions/documented personal experiences available for you to sift through, both within and outside of ‘academic’ circles. here’s an excerpt from the abstract of a case study on the topic:
“We show how gifted and talented status meets the criteria of white property interests and is defended by recourse to law and policy. Efforts to improve identification of students for gifted services reveal that the implicit operation of these Interests is an important reason why identification practices favoring white and middle-class children have been resistant to change. Dismantling underlying white property interests in gifted and talented identification is a necessary, though not sufficient step, toward a more just educational system.” [DOI]
i haven’t read this case study in full—i’m just using it to point out that this is a prominent, ongoing discussion. in my opinion, this should be a much larger part of the “former gifted kid” conversation, but alas
#i was a poor kid and i only got shuffled into GT because of a very specific set of circumstances#my teachers were resistant to it lmao#all the kids they nominated themselves were white AND well off AND often had parents’ with good social standing#and because it was an overwhelmingly white & well-off bunch#it was a shitty environment for anyone else#by the end of it the kids who didn’t ‘belong’ didn’t pursue the advanced track in high school#meanwhile the kids in sped were basically getting tortured and the kids in between were subject to all kinds of nonsense#i can’t imagine looking back at all that and thinking ‘wow. the real evil is that i was held to a higher standard’#like yeah it kinda sucked and i valued my academic abilities way fucking more than i should have#but#in hindsight i’m one of the lucky ones#*parents why the hell did i make that possessive smh#clearly my gifted education was worthless anyway /j
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The School™️ has decided that im not actually allowed to go back until im "100% seizure free"
i just cant do this shit anymore
#they are asking me to do the impossible just so i can get a basic education#i have only been in school for 2 MONTHS this year#epilepsy#seizures#school#high school#actually epileptic#i hate it here#disability#invisible disability#actually disabled
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signature skills
#hi hi. am back at my bullshit again & wanted to do a sillouette shape language practice instead of a proper drawing. am tired pftt#de timeskip kids: (→) cuno annette mikael c lilienne’s children [am not giving you a hint you’ll have to guess their sigs & tell me hhe]#[kinda easy enough except c maybe pfttt]#good cop. bad cop. not-really-a-cop-cop. not a cop at all.#good cop coz cuno worked more years and closed lot more cases. wildcard but useful asset to the rcm like harry.#snarky little stray. their own hound steadily trained. broken fingers on a criminal is nothing compared to rising numbers & kill count brag#bad cop coz annette not only because she just became a junior officer barely anything under her name.#she gets too emotionally invested in cases she get involved in and ‘‘wastes’’ too much time on a case. way too by the book & empathetic#mikeal is here mostly for the resume and to help out 41 due the staff shortage. he doesn’t plan to stay for long.#12 years and that place is still understaffed pfttt#c is part of the union & has her own lorry now. still has foul mouth & distaste for cops but she matured a bit. both mentally & physically#carter kids works lotta part time jobs & their economic situation is still quite rocky.#twins rather let their sister get to high school first but they don’t believe it’ll be their turn to get higher education anytime soon#so they just work their ass off almost everyday#disco elysium#my art#artists on tumblr#disco elysium fanart#i guess#disco elysium timeskip#disco elysium timeskip au#de timeskip#de timeskip au#kuuno de ruyter#annette plaisanse#disco elysium annette#mikael heidelstam#little lily carter#he wanna persue programming+engineering and entropenetics on the side#slaps on kims bomberjacket on cuno. LOOK HE IS WEARING HIS DAD’S JACKET.
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⚓️ sailing & ➗ mathematics for all 3!
[ skill set ask ] @technofinch
⚓️ — sailing
None of them know a damn thing about sailing outside of like… going out in a storm is a stupid idea, & water inside the boat is probably bad. I think Delta has a vague idea of how to troubleshoot the Nakanos’ ship’s steering system but that’s about it.
➗ — mathematics
Mercy’s pretty good at math. I don’t think she’d be doing anything really high level or theoretical or anything, but she’s been a “doctor” and involved in medical research for like 8000 years so she can handle the type of math involved there.
Reed’s not great at math but he can handle the math & physics involved in long range shooting. So he’d be fine with trigonometry, but he probably can’t do long division.
Delta’s great at math, their main focus is robotics so it’s pretty much required for them to be able to handle calculus, algebra, geometry, statistics, etc.
#i was gonna @ hy because they do some real scary looking math and that’s the shit that i don’t think mercy and delta could handle#reed only went through high school and then whatever shit he learned in the army so like. don’t expect too much from him lmao#idk what kind of education delta has but i figure there’s like. a standard education level that all synths just have#ask games#thank you!💖#mercy tag#reed tag#delta tag
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#if u r curious abt following the saga that is my life:#i did finally accept an official offer from a school this afternoon. which is a huge relief and really exciting#and for once i think i did something that will b good for me in mind and body lol bc i think i could b happy with any of the places i#applied to but this program is most geared to my interests and its in a place where i think i can have fun due to the accessibility#of nature and the mountains haha. like at rutgers i think i could have got a good education and had a lot of opportunities but i think it#would have crushed my soul a lil bc it would b more high pressure and in the city. ya kno? so i hopefully i dont regret the choice lol#i still have to wait on the offical acceptance stuff but now at least i can allow myself to get excited abt the potential project and start#researching. which i mean ill have 5yrs of a phd for that but idk im excited and my life feels so empty and meaningless rn ive gotta take#the excitement where i can haha#anyway housing is gonna b a bitch bc there arent a lot of places available in grad student price ranges in the city to the point where they#said so in the official offer rip. and i have to decide when im leaving the southwest bc i could stay til August or leave in july and take#like a whole almost 2 months to just not b doing anything for a sec. and my dad was like !!! u could go to the crazy state parks#or drive out to the pacific northwest! and that would b amazing but also that sounds so scary to do on my own lol#like i dont wanna b missing and murdered as a youngish non guy traveling alone#but i could do it if i tried im sure. anyway i just wanted to let yall kno#bc im so doom and gloom on here all the time but a transition period is looming so im only stuck here for a few more months#and hopefully itll b a page turn into a happier place haha#watch out yellowstone cyanobacteria. im coming for u >:-]#knock on wood. ya kno. just in case#hhhh at least i can breathe a lil better now i have a direction#unrelated
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#i joke about it and all but like. i cannot emphasize enough what an impact it had on me to be uhhhhhb#micro-institutionalized in the way that i was for the first 14 years if my life#and i am honestly going to count the time i soent in ''elementary'' school bc it wasn't a normal school. it was a charter school#that began as a parent organized alternative and swiftly devolved into an authoritarian nightmare#a bunch of people who were simply not ready to educate children let alone ''problem'' children#of which there were MANY because that school got all the kids who had been turned out of public school for behavioral issues#there were hardline rules about literally everything. normal childhood behavior was pathologized and punished and as a kid#you had no way to understand WHY#and so many of your peers were having problems because ofc those ''problem'' kids were typically severely traumatized#or were actively being abused#so even if it wasn't happening TO you you were being exposed to it in a hundred little ways every day#so i was confused and miserable all the time AND was struggling academically bc i had undiagnosed adhd#(or possibly just trauma?? i honestly neither know nor care which came first at this point)#so my mom pulled me and my brother out. him at 11 and me at 6 and said ''i'll just do it myself'' and#raised us in a way that wasn't religious but resembled evangelical or lds stuff#i couldn't watch commercial tv or listen to popular music bc my parents didn't want me exposed to what they considered inappropriate#and while i still had extracurriculars i was always the odd one out bc i had no exposure to pop culture or normal socialization#for my age group#it resulted in me always feeling alone and like i didn't belong. and since most of my social life was my parents and their friends#that was the perfect soup for adultification#i was fine with adults. put me with my peers and i was a mess#it made the transition to high school incredibly difficult but i DID make it#but that was only 4 years still in an institution. everything began to unravel once i tried to move into anything resembling ''real life''#and then my dad's suicide which was a major trauma in early adulthood which only made my mom's grip on us tighten#i did get to START life until 26. not really. and it's just been a game of catch up for the last 5 years#and im so *angry* at the unfairness of it all. at the time and experience and milestones that were taken from me. at how i blamed myself#for it for so many years and the problems i developed because of it all. dissociation and substance abuse and suicidality#the fear that still has a death grip on me#the courage required to just exist#it's *exhausting*
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that being said....self titled was just such a moment tho like when i say that was a formative album for me i mean that shit
#at the cusp of teenage girlhood lol 15/16 abt to graduate high school really kearning abt feminism/social justice for the first time#growing up in nigeria never really had to think abt that stuff cos no one around me cared much#i watched one of chim*manda's ted talks on feminism and it was like i activated like yesss finally a way to describe the injustice I'd been#seeing all around me. yes we had social studies/civic education in schools but who tf was teaching feminism in a patriarchal ass society#like nigeria. we didnt even have history as a subject lmao that country....God help us is the only thing i can say atp#anyway i need you to understand how hypeee teenage me was when i heard flawless like WOAHHH it was like beyoncé was inside my head...#then XO? WOW#grown woman???? i watched that video every morning and night it was my religion for a couple of months#BLUE? Oh i criedddd#7/11 made me look forward to getting drunk with my girlies lol#yoncé made me bi or at least realize i was#yeah I've always wanted to **** that lady thats why i cant even talk when she's dragged cos yall are so right to! but she's also sexy af 😔#it's almost 2am here pls dont take any shit i say/type seriously thankssss
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When it’s Monday night and you get a question right on only connect AND university challenge that’s when you know you are the smartest person alive
#you may have graduated high school but I could kick your ass on the only connect wall#so who’s really the most educated here?#meelskys bullshit#only connect#university challenge
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I have an interview at Chipotle today and I checked the reviews, all of the reviews from the past two months are one star. This seems like a terrible Chipotle.
#unfortunately i need the money so we're gonna go to the interview#and hope that theyll take me#because i only have a part time job rn. and i love my job. but i need more money than it can provide#every month since ive moved here ive bee struggling to pay rent. or bills. or pay for a nice little treat once in awhile#and its hard to find a job when you have no education past high school#and i have plenty of food service experience but food service jobs are weirdly few and fsr between here#i got offered a job st a different chipotle the other month but they only wanted me for the 5am shift#i go to bed at 5am. and i have the morning shift with my dog because my sibling has to go into the office a couple times a week#so mornings cant work. and she only wanted me for early mornings#so I'm interview at a different chipotle today. the worst chipotle in existence i guess#but even the worst chipotle in existence will help me pay rent and save up to go to camp this summer#wish me luck!!
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Public education went to the dogs when they stopped making Latin a required subject.
Bring back Latin you cowards!!!
#education#latin#language learning#public education#latin language#Yes I am just salty that I attended half a dozen or more high schools and only one had Latin as an option#i don't see why Latin should have gotten thrown out but History (propaganda indoctrination) class gets to stay 🙄#op#personal
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love how the message of season 4 was that you have to have extremely good grades and have gone to parties to be able to successfully adjust to university
#nhie s4 spoilers#nhie s4#nhie#never have i ever#nhie critical#if you had mediocre grades or were too uptight might as well not even bother going since you're apparently fucked#like. devi ben and fab all got into an ivy and seemed to be enjoying university and doing well right away#meanwhile we have eleanor who gets 1 rejection and gives up on furthering her education entirely (why didn't she think about film school??)#and paxton who worked So Hard to get into college only to immediately drop out just because his roommate was shitty#& blair who was an excellent student but partied too hard and failed out and tried to keep it a secret because it was 'kind of humiliating'#like. blair mentioned that she was burnt out but then it was almost immediately reframed as her having been 'too perfect' in high school#the only character who never planned to go to college was trent who was so bad at school he had to repeat his senior year#why weren't there any students who had done well at high school yet struggled academically even though they were genuinely trying?#or students who hadn't done super well in high school but then thrived in university when they had more freedom to choose their classes#where were the top students who didn't get into their first choice school? or knew that they didn't want to go to college at all?#obviously the show couldn't cover every possible permutation of how people decide whether to go to college and then how they adjust to it#but it's uhhh not great that the 3 'smartest' main characters were admitted into ivies and immediately thrived at university#while the 3 who struggled with school or prioritized non-academic interests either didn't try to go to college or gave up extremely fast#the show has always had moments where characters will be elitist but it seemed much more prominent & tied into the narrative this season#my post#my meta#tag ramble
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seeing everyone i grew up with graduate high school is making me fucking spiral so bad
#i know i would have a complete mental break eventually but please count it have waited at least 3 years????#been fighting my own brain since i gained consciousness#but growing up in a small town kept me just isolated enough that my undiagnosed autism and adhd went under the radar#i feel like im going insane#i haven’t done shit in the 3 years i should have gone to school#only thing i’ve accomplished is getting a little saner#most jobs require a high school education and i’ve tried to pick up my studies again but it’s impossible#i’m missing a milestone too cause graduation in sweden is very unique and i’ll never get to experience that#i swear i’m gonna fucking relapse#allie shut up#cw vent#vent#screaming into the void
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im so excited to one day be done with college so I can actually like art again.
#college is better than high school bcause it did not make me want to die#but it did wring me out of any crative enjoyment like a sponge#but i have a feeling that things can only get better...onwards and upwards#leaving high school behind for college was such a huge improvement just in health both physical and mental#i can only imagine what itll be like when I'm finally done with any educational system
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how is one meant to stay silly under these conditions
#the education system is failinggg me#there are no actually suitable schools within a decent vicinity that are able to take me#i haven't gone to any school properly since the first two weeks of this year#and i haven't attended a school consistently for 2.5 years#worst part it isn't even my fault!#i mean ok the first 1.5 years when i was enrolled at this catholic co-ed school kinda were#but i couldn't sustainably go anywhere as a girl i mean. oh i dunno maybe i could have tried harder#but this past year is not my fault!! just there is absolutely nowhere that will take me#distance education is also very full and so difficult to get into and it wouldn't even be an ideal option#the 1 (one) co-ed public school with space i can't even go to because the principal admitted it would not be safe#and now next year is. not looking hopeful#the past couple weeks i've been going to the only school where i have a guaranteed spot - local all girls :(#just for a couple hours a day doing fuck all in the library it's been good for my sleep schedule if nothing else#but i really really do not want to go there as one of three trans boys and no fucking way as a girl. hueduhugh#i still haven't heard back from a few of the options for next year hoping beyond hopes at least one of them will take me#one of the two actually good options has rejected me#so hoping the other good option will have space but god it's really unlikely#i'll take anywhere though i just. huhfriuhg i really need to go back to school man i've missed genuinely nearly half of all my high school#it's. yeah it's really not good#no fucking clue what i'll do if none of the schools accept me for next year. explode mayhaps#and this sucks because i actually really like school i was always SO good at school!! but then the social things prevented me from going!!#and now the slight bit of hope is dwindling! i hate this#anyway. :))
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