#i plan to commission more art for them too in the future even if there's no one else besides me and yann who ship them lol

[jkgnggj]

✧⁠*⁠。reikei 。*⁠✧⁠

OMG NOW THAT ITS FRIDAY ITS TIME TO POST MY MOST RECENT COM

reikei is tori x keitaro (yanns oc) and ik there's probs no demand for content of them but they're so precious to me so i commissioned this lil piece and have been dying to post it on here

Ty @yeageryann for this amazing com of my two fave boys 🥺🫶

[endivinity]

Hey yall!

it's been one of those weeks. a very, very expensive week. my savings will be completely wiped, but I can't open commissions, so it's not looking too hot for me right now. I'm not in any danger of eviction or other major consequences, but I can't front the costs by myself.

If you'd like to help out by chipping in a little bit, I've got the tl;dr over here! https://ko-fi.com/endivinity There's a pack of every public deathclaw artwork available through that as well, if you'd like a bonus incentive.

Long version and plan of attack under the cut!

I've been medically unemployed for a couple of years now. I've also been recently diagnosed with ADHD - inattentive. I was given an initial trial course of meds for them, which so far aren't working in any helpful ways. NZ has free prescriptions... but it does not have free mental health diagnoses, and especially not for adults. The initial diagnosis appointments cost me $1100, and there are at-cost followup appointments and other medical related costs that are chipping away at it. My medication will need reviewing and possibly switching, which requires more at-cost appointments. This was fine for me to pay! But. Miraculously, I barely self-medicated prior to diagnosis but when I did.... it was with sugary foods. I'm sure you can see where this ends up :'D

The other day I got hit with a dental bill that was not only staggering, but the treatment itself was a gutpunch. I'm not quite at root canal level but two of my teeth are tending towards it, even as the dentist commended my brushing and flossing. The quote is between $3200-4000 (give or take a couple non-priority preventative treatments). I can get government funding assistance up to $1000, and anything beyond that is a loan.

And unrelated I NEED new glasses, because the vision in my left eye from uveitis has deteriorated significantly. this costs less at i think $200-300, but the government does NOT assist with this for... some reason??

The plan of attack:

I'd - hoped, that the meds would let me focus more on owed work. I'd hoped I'd be able to clear the board. That's not the case right now. I'll keep trying, but for now I have to focus on the present.

So, the Ko-fi page is open! There's PWYW files of every deathclaw art I have, so if you'd like to help me out and get convenient lizards instead of browsing my posts, that's the option for you. I will also be making deathclaw designs to auction. I'd like to do customs in future because there's a hungry hungry market out there, waiting for me to do so, but that'd be a commission and I wouldn't complete it. So, premades it will be. My Inprnt store is currently barren; I will see about getting it filled. That'll be linked later. I can't mail out my print stock I use for cons, because I don't have a car or easy access to shipping packaging for larger prints. (And shipping would be immense because, NZ)

So far those are my only attainable options. If you have other suggestions though, please let me know! <3

[see-arcane]

With a total of 1,176 votes tallied, the preferred plushie poll winner with 28.8% of votes is…

What a close one! Jonathan came in with 27.7%, the mysterious Mr. Morse with 24.9% and, delicious irony of ironies, London Dracula with 18.9%. Rest in pieces. Now, what does all this mean going forward?

First, just to reconfirm: I will absolutely be looking into the costs for having more than one plushie character produced at a time. For all that Mina has the top spot if it comes down to a solo run, Nobody Wants to Separate the Gothic Horror Soulmates, even as wee little plushies. It hurts my heart to think of. Mina and Jonathan deserve to sit side by side on everyone’s pillow. Just as Quinn Morse deserves to haunt the pillow next to theirs while casually throttling and carving London Dracula into pieces. For enrichment.

But beyond that, some other key things:

How is this getting done?

Sadly, I was not a cool enough kid for Makeship to greenlight a collaboration with me. Tragique. But while I was sitting around waiting for them to get back to me, I had time to browse around for other options. During that sniffing around I dug up a couple of promising manufacturers—one of which has some really neat options for not only plush toys, but all sorts of bric-a-brac like stationery, shirts, bags, cups, et cetera—and I plan to reach out to them for quotes to start with. Nothing really gets to move forward until I can nail down prices and the amount of X plushies to be made.

I am more than a little hesitant to tell anyone MAKE ME 1000+ PLUSHIES, PLEASE, THE TUMBLR POLL SAID THEY’RE GOOD FOR IT. These aren’t as simple as print/make-on-demand products, so I need to be careful estimating the amount of folks ready and willing to drop money on the little guys. But I will keep everyone updated on the numbers regardless!

Sooo is this a crowdfunding thing or an investment or what?

Don’t know yet. I am still between jobs at the moment—reminder to check out my Ko-Fi if you want to drop me a buck or commission some art!—but if this is something I can safely drop some of my own money in with the guarantee that it will let me do better than break even, I’ll do what I can out of pocket. However, if the cost of making something of good quality turns out too steep, I’ll start looking into stuff like Kickstarter and Backerkit and so on. I want to be sure I’m not gutting anybody’s wallet to pull this off and I want to be double-sure that what we’re paying for isn’t some flimsy throwaway junk. We are all here on the same Dracula book club starving artist site, so It Has to Be Worth It and not a money-sink for anyone.

Got it. Any other info to spare?

For the plushies specifically, this is when I’ll start:

Polishing up the current four designs into cleaner illustrations with different angles to provide for mockup samples with whoever I pick to manufacture with. If I get stuck on something—(which is likely)—I may throw up another poll to bug everyone about palettes and fashion choices. I have a few more designs I haven’t dropped yet for Epilogue Harkers, a non-Bloofer Lucy, and keychains that I’d love to share too!

Eyeballing materials. I’m already picturing a very close-cut cloth for the build and clothes, but I need to decide on filling too. Stiff overstuffing to hold a pose versus softer/lighter plush for floppy cuddleability. 

Poking at other character roughs, ala the Suitor Squad, the Weird Sisters, Van Helsing, Renfield, and Baby Quincey. And if all of those go well…

…maybe some designs for other favorites in the public domain playground. (Looks meaningfully at Clarimonde, Carmilla, Victor Frankenstein and the Creature, the King in Yellow, too many others.) ((But that’s all far-future stuff at the moment.))

Cool! But you also mentioned something about other merch?

I did.

Because goddamn do I want some Dracula-themed stationery. Journals! Memo pads! Pens! Every day we don’t have these things with the Harkers’ mark upon them is a victory for the forces of Count Dracula’s document-destroying evil. Likewise for shirts, totes, mugs, keychains, face masks and other things that could use some novel-flavored goodies. Hell, I’ll probably even get on with making stuff for The Vampyres to link on my website too. Because I am. Maybe behind on that. By several months.

Anyway.

I’ve got to start working on some designs for those too while the plushie process is progressing. Pray that my carpals don’t get tunneled.

Nice! Sounds like your plate is pretty full. So that’s it, right?

:)

Arcane?

:3c

Arcane. I need you to tell me this is all you’re working on.

>:}

Arcane.

Please stand by.

I have a little treat brewing for the Dracula Dailiers and @re-dracula folks in honor of a very special day for our good friend Jonathan Harker.

[asklilmissrarity]

The Future of Lil Miss Rarity

Hello everyone, this is Jay Tonique (formerly known as Lil Miss Jay), the writer, artist, everything other than the music in the Lil Miss Rarity animation for the blog "Lil Miss Rarity."

As some of you know, Lil Miss Rarity was an ongoing outlet for my physical, verbal and emotional abuse I was suffering prior to and leading up to Lil Miss Rarity's release, October 11th 2011.

The blog took off so heavily that my entire artistic career became a viable future for me, allowing me to profit from my art, build a huge loving fanbase, and even allowing me to become something of a celebrity in the Brony community (even very much hated by a large portion of the community).

It's needless for me to say that Lil Miss Rarity not only changed but saved my life. I was on the verge of taking my own life around the time the blog was started, due to the abuse I was going through, and if it weren't for the success of the blog that fateful October week, I would certainly not be here, typing this right now. I owe my life to you all, and the support you've given me for this blog.

However, it's time for the news I know very few people want to hear. In fact, I'm sure just reading this line right here has people's hearts sinking, but please, don't be anxious, please read the full post.

I would like to say: Please read the full post, I am going to be very clear about the future.

Moving forward, Lil Miss Rarity will no longer be updated, and the blog is officially entirely over, as of this post.

I am still looking for a musician to commission a new song for the remake of the Lil Miss Rarity animation on YouTube, which will be my final major update involving the blog, and then I will be putting the blog entirely to rest. The animation will serve as a fond emotional farewell to Lil Miss Rarity.

However, that's not the end of the twisted grimdark storytelling. I have decided to make a spiritual successor, a new IP, entirely my own and not using My Little Pony as a crutch.

I won't get too into it, but I left the Brony fandom long ago. It was both the greatest thing to ever happen in my life, and the absolute worst thing to ever happen in my life. I met great friends, but also met unbelievably horrible sick people, many of which I literally got FBI involvement to deal with and many of which are literally in prison now.

Due to this, and many many more reasons I'm leaving out, I cannot and will not continue to be a part of the fandom. This is just a few reasons, as well, that continuing to have Lil Miss Rarity exist as a My Little Pony blog just doesn't make any sense to me.

So what am I doing moving forward?

A brand new IP called "Melodi." It's about a magic school student who is part of a wealthy family who goes on a magical twisted adventure in a horrifying grimdark world.

It will have characters either very slightly or very heavily inspired by the characters of Lil Miss Rarity, with Melodi of course being inspired by Rarity.

It will also be an ongoing web comic, similar to LMR, and will encourage fan feedback just as much as LMR did, but will not be an Ask Blog like LMR.

I plan to release character concepts for the cast of Melodi soon.

Now, there's probably a lot of questions moving forward, so I'll try to answer them now, as well as in asks on this blog, though I'd prefer you send the asks about Melodi to my main blog at http://www.jayisbutts.com/ask

Here's some questions I think will be asked, and I'll answer them here:

"Will this blog be on Tumblr?" - Yes, and on Patreon. Each update will be on Patreon first. When an update comes out on Patreon, the previous update will go public at the same time on Tumblr.

"Don't you think the LMR fanbase you've garnered for 12 years are gonna be upset about this?" - I'm 100% certain they will be, yes. However, I hope that most people who hear this news are excited to see Melodi in the future. I'm very proud of what I've created with LMR, and happy about how many lives I've changed and how many people have told me how much they love LMR. People with the heart-brand tattoo, people with LMR tattoos, people who cosplay as LMR, LMR fanart still being made regularly to this date, real-life Opal dolls, fan-dubs of the comic, fan animations, Anime Music Videos, etc etc etc. I love each and every one of you and I hope that I can one day garner the same amount of love for Melodi as I received for LMR. Thank you all so much for your support.

"What if someone else wants to carry on the LMR blog or use the characters to make their own?" - Please, do. LMR is officially Public Domain as of this post, and I strongly encourage LMR fan-fiction, fan-blogs, etc. I would love if someone could do LMR better than I did. I will very happily use this blog going forward to showcase new LMR blogs and fan-content that I like, and I will very gladly be a guest artist from time to time on an update or two to those blogs. You all have my blessing to take LMR and do with her whatever you want.

"Are you still remaking the LMR animation?" - Yes, I'm still actively seeking a musician to make an official LMR theme that will play in the background of it. It will be a glorious farewell to LMR.

"Is the heart-brand still a thing in Melodi?" - Absolutely, yes. The one incredibly major staple being carried over to Melodi is the heart brand. That symbol has become synonymous with LMR.

"What about the eye scars?" - Probably not. There will be facial scarring of some kind, yes, but considering the new story will not involve killing a cat (not yet anyway), she probably won't have the eye scars.

"Black eye with white pupil?" - We'll see! (It is a sign of Malice's corruption to have a black left eye, so almost certainly yes, but we'll see!)

"Ponies? Humans? Furries?" - I haven't fully decided. In my head, Melodi is a human, but I could also see her being a cat. I'm not sure what I wanna do just yet. However, she will not be a pony. She's gonna be far more human shaped. With boobies.

"Is this one gonna have porn?" - Nope! Not directly as part of the blog, no. Sexual encounters are going to happen in a very fade-to-black way, or a cropped-off-screen sort of way, yes. And there will be sexy characters, like monster girls or demon girls, and I'm sure people will find Melodi herself sexy, too. However, the blog is not going to contain actual porn. No full nudity. It will have what some would refer to as "fetish content," as with LMR, but it's not porn.

"Final question, so... LMR is just... dead? As of now?" - In terms of receiving updates from me, all that will be made is the LMR animation. But no, I certainly hope LMR is not dead. I would love to see the blog live on through other artists I've inspired. You all have my blessing to keep her alive forever.

Thank you all so much for your support.

More news involving Melodi and her twisted adventures coming soon.

I love you all, and I want you all to know how much your support of Lil Miss Rarity has changed my life.

I know it's cringe to type this, but, "I'm literally crying right now."

Mommy will always be pretty.

~Jay Tonique (Formerly Lil Miss Jay)

[letterstoear]

Ikemen Vampire inspired jewerly!!

To be perfectly honest, I didn't have the intentions of selling any of these pieces when I made them. However, I thought it would be nice for fellow fans of the game to enjoy jewelry inspired their favorite suitor. Plus, these designs were just too pretty to hold them captive for myself.

Find my shop here: Check out my shop here: Shop — Letters to Ear (squarespace.com)

With each design I tried to incorporate a bit of the suitor and like always it's not over the top. Just something casual you could wear on your day to day. I'll be going more in depth in the future!

For orders outside of the U.S please DM if interested.

Frozen Heart: Inspired by Arthur Conan Doyle

Unmarked by Time for: Inspired by Vlad

Picnics and Paints for: Inspired by Vincent Van Gogh

Art Gallery for: Inspired by Theodorus Van Gogh

For Your Love Set: Inspired by Jean D' Arc

Washed Away: Inspired by Osamu Dazai

Golden Love Set: Inspired by Comte de Saint-Germain

A New Love for $12: Inspired by Leonardo Da Vinchi

Whew! That was a lot of pieces I made, but it's not even all of the suitors! Just like with my Twisted Wonderland items, I plan on writing letters for the suitors as well. So please look forward to that!

So, which one is your favorite?

Reblogs are always highly appreciated too!

Also, feel free to request for your own design I do commissions and would love to see what ideas everyone has!

[etirabys]

on email

I put off wedding planning with the expectation that I would do a terrible but functional job once deadline urgency kicked in. This has started to happen. One consequence is that I have (probably but hopefully not temporarily) had to become a timely emailer.

The impetus was procrastinating on clicking a link in an email that it turned out I should have read ideally acted upon immediately. This is an embarrassing but characteristic mistake – my habit with emails is to open them, get a fast (and sometimes wrong) impression of the contents, have the emotion of not wanting to deal with it, and marking it as unread. I do this with a lot of non-email messages across all platforms, too, with the result that I drop a lot of messages that I forget to or can't mark as unread again.

I knew perfectly well what a loathsome creature I am to do this, but Willpower did not work.

I've been much faster with all messages in the past week and will describe what I understand of the change, so that it will hopefully persist.

(A prerequisite: for many years I have unsubscribed from, filtered, or blocked unwelcome senders. I try not to give out my email address for any reward greater than $20.)

i. I had to radically accept that I am tired and stupid most of the time.

Radical acceptance is a concept from mindfulness / dialectical behavioral therapy, and mostly means the opposite of "trying to believe something that isn't true". It means understanding and accepting your actual circumstances without flinching from them, and acting in a way that actually achieves your goals in those circumstances.

So it turns out – in some part because my expectations for myself haven't adjusted from my pre-burnout days when I had more energy and a better memory – that I put off things because "I can tell I'm dumb right now, and if I try to book this flight I'll probably double-book myself even if I check my calendar three times, and I should do this when I'm more awake." Or "I shouldn't resume this conversation about an art commission, because I don't feel all here today and I'm probably going to mess up the conversation". Or, of course, "I shouldn't make this decision the wedding planner is asking me about right now, because I'll make the wrong one."

While there is variance in my mental abilities depending sleep and time of day and so forth, I almost never pass the bar of cognitive competence I implicitly set for making these decisions. So if I keep the bar where it is, I'm never going to get anything done.

I have to radically accept that I am (compared to when I was younger) tired and stupid all the time, and I still need to live my life. I need to double-book myself and then pay $20 to reschedule my flight, arrange for a tasting with a caterer that doesn't meet a desideratum my spouse told me about, join a reading group I'm too busy for and then leave, get on a call that I forgot to do research for beforehand... etc.

And: I have to respond to emails and messages approximately as soon as I see them, because "my future self who will make informed decisions about things I cannot" is an illusion.

ii. Conversely, I should never check messages when I'm not prepared to make respond to arbitrary textual stimuli.

I used to check my email or messages when I was bored. This makes no sense! The contents of my email inbox are determined by the decisions of a large number of other people, and could contain anything. It is this variance that makes this addictive, and it is also this variance that makes it important to read it when I have the wherewithal to react appropriately.

I don't want to keep training myself into being the kind of person who repeatedly clicks and unreads a scary medical bill email. To stop that behavior, I want to have a mindset of "if one of my emails is a scary medical bill email, I am willing to read the whole thing, think about it, and take the appropriate next action" whenever I am about to navigate to my inbox.

The same goes for clicking into Discord or Messenger, because I need a similar presence of mind to react to invitations to high-effort social events, requests for help I may not be able to give, requests for information I need to think about before providing, etc.

The important thing is to not mix actionables with entertainment. I need mental separation between those two, because perceiving personal pings as a subset of social media notifications made me treat them more passively. "Oh, huh, a decision to join a Paradise Lost reading group is on TV. Interesting. Now an ad..."

---

I expect to backslide on my improved response rate/quality once I'm done with the wedding, but hopefully writing the above will act as the strut of a dam.

[humming-pokemon-helpers]

Finally got the go-ahead to post about this… so, with the growing visibility of hybrids in the public eye, I was offered the opportunity to interview with RIME Magazine! (Capitalizing the name properly was part of the deal.)

I’ll be pasting the text of the article below for anyone without a subscription (to be fair, it’s also posted online, and I have permission), but before that… I also got a cover photoshoot! I wound up touching up my ears with my illusions… and some of the burn scars… but I’m quite happy with how it turned out, still. Wolfy couldn’t make it, so I took the photo with Chiru that day! Anyways, hope you enjoy. :)

(//Art is a commission by @/RhymeWithRay here or mostly on Twitter! They make amazing Pokémon-style work, worth a look for sure!!!)

But without further ado, the interview!

RIME Magazine sat down for an interview with Vanilla Cress, a Hisuian Zorua hybrid, human and Pokémon psychologist, Champion-class trainer in Paldea, Galar Champion Cup semifinalist, and hybrid model and activist, in early February. Topics discussed varied widely, from Cress's own experience growing up as a human-Pokémon hybrid, understanding Pokémon, Cress's recent modeling and activism, and future plans. What follows is a condensed and edited transcript of the interview.

That's quite the list of accolades you've accumulated along the way. What do you think has led you to achieve so highly?

Well, for one, I think you're giving a lot of this more credit than it's worth, [laughs]. I'm not sure being pulled off of the street because I look like a walking ice-cream cone is much of an accomplishment, personally. Nor do I do much activism apart from this interview now, apparently.

I think I understand the answer you're going for here, though. I would say that my hybridity's a large part of what brought me as far as I've come. Not only in having the gift to talk to our partners in life--which is an incredible gift--but in that there's this drive to prove myself. Or maybe to redeem myself. I'm not really sure which, personally. Doing things has just filled all of the gaps in my life, until now.

Right, and you only publicly "came out" as a hybrid less than a year ago.

Yes, less than a year ago! It's been a huge adjustment, but I have so much more energy these days, not having to worry about being discovered by hitting something with my tail, [laughs].

While my experience hasn't been entirely positive after "coming out" myself, and I realize that even being able to hide is a privilege many hybrids simply don't have, I will say that generally speaking, the public response has been overwhelmingly positive. Say, for every enemy I've made, I've made ten more friends in their place. And from so many different walks of life, too!

You say your experience wasn't entirely positive. Could you elaborate some on your negative experiences as a hybrid?

Well, if I have to. Which I suppose I don't, but it seems rude not to. There are, of course, people out there who view you as subhuman, when you look like me. Or in maybe a less extreme sense, people who have a tendency to see all of the fluff and decide "Oh, this person--I should talk to this person like they're a child." But those are really quite few and far between, at least in my case. I'm more likely to scare people, with the teeth and the claws. [They make a pose showing both off.]

My main negative experience, though, was something more personal and targeted.

Yes, there was the news earlier last year about the Dreamyard Laboratory...

"Earlier last year" doesn't feel right, somehow. I won't go much into detail, but yes, I was taken against my will for the purpose of illegal research on human-Pokémon hybrid power, by Colress Achroma. It was only due to the efforts of my dear friends that I'm here now. I cannot express my gratitude to them enough, if any of you are reading!

Thank you for sharing. To turn back the clock a bit, what was your childhood like, being half-Zorua?

Well, for most of that time, it was like paradise! When I was a young child, we were quite isolated, so I never got the sense that my life was "off" or "strange". I thought for the longest time it was normal to have a family like mine. My older sibling, Wolfgang, a Zorua then--we were just "W" and "V" at the time--he and I would just run wild and play in Lostlorn Forest for hours while the rest of the pack hunted. And then they'd come back, and they'd start in on whatever they'd caught, and my mother would swoop back in to make me something completely different. And teach me the alphabet. [Laughs]

Was there a time, when that facade cracked?

Oh, there was this time, right when I had gotten used to using my illusions, that my mother brought me to the grocery store with her. And that's when I learned a lot of facts about the world very quickly. And then I had to learn those facts all over again, a few years later, when I rejoined the human world with my adopted family. Everything had to be hidden after that, or else. It was dangerous, not knowing what sort of person you'd meet, or who'd want to hurt you just for existing.

You say you were also adopted?

Right. There was... a forest fire, at one point. Intentional. And I lost everyone dear to me but Wolfgang. And I became the sort of Zorua you see here now [a Hisuian Zorua]. And after a few years of... homelessness and what not, I was taken in by the Cresses. It was a chance encounter. And it was a major culture shock! Going from streets to high society parties. It was thanks to them, though, that I managed to find something to do with my life and graduated from Naranja-Uva.

And in between that, the Galar gym challenge...

[Laughs] I'm sure you have a clip of that somewhere. I'd rather not talk about it, that was... a strange period of teenagerhood for me.

How do you feel about your childhood, on reflection?

That's tough. That's something I believe I'm still working out, myself. It was positive moment-to-moment, but considering what I know, now, I would say... to some degree, I resent it. It's hard not to resent being born in a position where it feels like, for so long, nobody understands you. I wouldn't trade Wolfgang for anyone else, but otherwise, I do wish, sometimes, I was "just" a human.

I can imagine. At the same time, talking to Pokémon is quite the advantage, right? What is it like?

Depends on the Pokémon! Some of us are more talkative than others, and of course, there's a range in how sophisticated Pokémon communication is too.

The difference is something like... imagine two Pokémon asking for pizza. In my experience, a Solosis would usually just beam the word "PIZZA" right into your mind. A Sewaddle might be coherent enough to say "Pizza, please". And a Zoroark... probably something along the lines of "give me the damn pizza already," [laughs].

So sometimes you can get a lot across by understanding Pokémon, but that doesn't mean they're all speaking in the same way as humans still. Understanding those individual differences goes a long way in my line of work, too. It's a bit easier than reading behavior, anyways!

As a Pokémon psychologist, what's one thing you think more people should understand about their Pokémon?

More than anything... it sounds cliche, but most Pokémon truly view humans as their partners, just as we do them. As much scientific proof as has gone into the question of proving that Pokémon love us as much as we love them, in my experience... that's absolutely true.

At the same time, even as partners, Pokémon think quite differently from humans in their daily life. I think in order to create the most balanced world possible, where both can coexist, it's key to consider the Pokémon's perspective more too.

What's one thing you'd like to impart about hybrids to people who don't know much about them?

Every hybrid's experience is different, firstly! Some, like me, are born, but others are created through science or magic we still don't know about. Some may look almost identical to humans, and some may have appearances considered frightening or unusual. Some of us have long-standing health problems. Some of us can use moves, or speak in Pokémon language, or access abilities, whereas others may be more limited. There's no one experience that I can really label as "the hybrid experience".

There are people who might think we're dangerous. Or inhuman. But whether you consider us 'human' or not... like any living being, we still deserve respect and a voice. Maybe that's obvious, but I think it still rings true.

Finally, what are your plans from here?

I'm hoping to finish my Unova League challenge together with my traveling partner! I certainly don't intend to become the Champion, but if I can say I challenged every member of the Elite 4, I'd be happy.

From there... well, there are a few things I'd like to resolve otherwise, but I think I'll return to my day job as a therapist, and hopefully, my own personal sword training. I'd also like to spend more time with my friends, my traveling partner, and my family in Lostlorn! My brother, Wolfgang has four incredible kits, and they're the absolute most adorable--

I'm afraid we're out of time for today, Mx. Vanilla.

Ah, yes. Thank you for having me!

[packsvlog]

hello! my name is Nani and this is my first time trying an ask like this and I adore your writing! i've seen you match others with some jjk men so i wanted to try it out! i'd love to get your insight on who you think i could be matched with!

i am

- eldest and only daughter of 5 children (i have 4 younger brothers and they sometimes call me mom on accident lol).

- love the arts and heavily dedicated to art and spend several hours honing my craft deep into the night.

- a very outspoken yet sensitive person. i curse thee HELL out anyone who talks or treats my friends or brothers sideways but also a big crybaby when i'm too emotional.

i love

- music while i work and dancing, i'm very good at dancing and tend to dance even when no music is playing. (i love a wide variety of genres)

- taking 1-2 hours long walks with a good playlist to keep me company

- (before i cut my hair short) looking up styles to do my hair in and adding accessories (i have super dark coily hair)

i apologize if it's super long but thank you for what you do!

hii, nani!! thank you for sending this and for the compliment, mwah 💋

•⁀➷ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. . . ﹫ 𝑛𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑖 ៹ ༉‧₊˚

rolling out of bed in the middle of dawn, nanami has been used to this for some time now. some nights, he will wake up with song coming from somewhere in the house. kento tries to pretend to be annoyed, but he fails every time, when he comes to your office, paintings decorating all the walls, light of candles warming it all up and… you — dark hair in a bun, decorated with trinkets of shells and stars, tired eyes focused solemnly on some craft you are making on the wood table.

it’s the scrunched eyebrows and plucked lips that has nanami coming behind you, hands going to your shoulders, making you jump before laughing and settling on his embrace. he starts to massage you and kiss your head.

“what are you doing?” it’s too late, the sun will rise at any moment.

“i had an idea, for my brothers.” you stare at him over your shoulders, he stares the art and smile.

“i love it, they will as well. but, let’s go rest, hm?”

you don’t complain or deny when he pushes you up, kissing your lips a couple times before departing to blow the candles and turning off the song. nanami comes back your way, holding your hand and guiding you to the master bedroom, where he sits you on the bed and slowly and lovely removes your pins, letting the hair fall freely on your back.

moments of tranquility are common occurrence in your house, even if there are those moments of midnight sprouts of energy, he finds them more amusing than annoying. and never would exist a day where nanami would control you or stop your art.

he finds himself buying all your supplies, making sure nothing is missing, the decorations are all yours but he pays for it. the large frame on the center of the room is one he commissioned as a surprise on your wedding day, the moment of the first kiss, in your art style. it’s both of you most prized possession, anytime a friend comes over, they know some time in the night, they’ll be blessed to see that painting.

gojo and geto likes to annoy you both, specially because of your reaction to curse them, annoyed and always falling for their antics. it makes it all worth it when you turn around, embraced by your husband’s big arms and kisses, soft sensitive tears in your eyes and he smiles at you.

“don’t mind those idiots.” he says.

“hey!” they protests and you laugh.

──── 𓇼 ° ⋆ FUN FACTS ᵎᵎ

۫ ּ ﹗you met each other in a art gallery, both being friends with gojo and he created this meeting with the excuse of “needing to buy house decorations”. he ditched you both and nanami loved to spend time with you, talking freely of the paintings and vases, anything.

۫ ּ ﹗you both live in a secluded house, i see it by the mountains — big house of stones and woods. your morning hikes are always comfortable, talking about future plans and activities, how both your week was.

۫ ּ ﹗your siblings come to visit sometimes, and although nanami is a very reserved person, he adores them and they all act like brothers.

۫ ּ ﹗every time nanami comes home or go inside a room to catch you dancing, he will admire for a minute or two before sliding into your arms, dancing with you as well. and while at it, he will whisper how much he loves and adores you.

[katealpha]

Commission from the absolutely astounding Little Polka!

www.deviantart.com/littlepolka

——————————-

Judy Hopps thought she’d struck gold when she got to join the ZPD as a rabbit. In a way, she did. But just being able to feel useful took a lot of struggle against even her own fellow officers to get even a modicum of respect. But she powered forward until she single-handedly (with a little help of a certain fox) solved the city’s biggest case, twice. Judy found herself going from zero to hero over the course of months. While she found herself making a few mistakes after that, she made up for them and kept moving forward. However, it would soon dawn upon Judy that that “keeping moving forward and never quit” mentality may not apply to everything. In this case, her blossoming romance between herself and Nick Wilde; the fox who had helped her become the best bunny one could be.

And now, he helped her become the biggest!

‘This is impossible’. Judy had been repeating that phrase in her head for the past several months since she learned she was pregnant after a rather pleasurable night with Nick. By all accounts, it was. Bunnies and Foxes couldn’t have offspring. That’s what Zoogle had told her, as well as common sense. I moose and a polar bear couldn’t conceive. Just like a lion and a zebra couldn’t. But here Judy was, waddling slowly down the hallway of the ZPD. Her bloated belly strained against her thankfully stretchy uniform that had been tailored just for her. She was big, even for her kind in this stage of pregnancy. When she felt them move, she knew that these weren’t bunnies growing in her belly. Something…bigger. Something taking more from their father. Nick himself was halfway mortified at what he’d done to his favorite dumb bunny. She had to constantly reassure that silly fox that everything would be okay. Most likely, at least. There were concerns for her wellbeing come labor. Just shared in these concerns, but decided not to trouble herself about it. Bigger or not, they were babies that didn’t ask to be the way they are. Besides, she had a job to do!

In her right paw was a steaming cup of coffee that was going to one Officer Wolford. This had been her job since she reported her pregnancy to Chief Bogo, who was just as dumbfounded as the mother-to-be herself. To her dismay, Judy was put on desk duty until after the little ones were born. It wouldn’t be too long. Just a few months. But everyone could tell from looking at the big bellied bunny by the way she waddled around, offering to get coffee and donuts for everyone that she was itching to get back out there. But for now, just leave it to Judy to type up reports, flyers, and whatever else they need. Eventually, Judy’s pregnancy was noticed by the media. It was as inevitable as her babies growing within her. When she was arranged for an interview, she took it and told her city that she still had no plans of slowing down.

“My doctors are still trying to figure out how it happened. Their best guess is that Nick’s got some mutated gene that worked its magic in me.” She said with a scoff as she rubbed her paw over her stretched stomach. “It’s been an…interesting few months. Being a mom isn’t something I expected to have thrust onto me so soon, and the future still isn’t certain…but for now, I’m not going anywhere! I might be huge with these kids that I’m not even certain are bunnies or foxes in there, but I have no intentions of stepping down from serving this fair city in any little way I can. I REALLY don’t know when to quit..haha!” She chuckled and shrugged, only for her belly to visibly move on camera. It made her wrap her paws around it, looking flushed at her interviewer and smiling before the camera cut off.

[fainthedcherry]

2024 Human Art VS 2019 Human Art !!!!!

AS PROMISED, HERE'S A POST WITH SOME NEW ART!!!

And also an art comparison, just to see, how much I improved in drawing the 2 bois <3

I'm MEGA tired despite having slept after work, but I WON'T let that deter me from writing a description!! YAPNADO AHEAD;

FINN AND MARCOOO. FINNANMARCO. BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE ACOUSTICALLY AND FERALLY YELLED ABOUT MY 2 FICTIONAL MEN WHOM ARE CLOSE TO MY HEART.

I'm SO glad, that in the new drawing, Marco finally looks like the twink he always was, but still enough meat on the bones to look NORMAL lmao, can't say that about the 4 other sketches of me trying to redraw this ref for years. xD (why yes, his wings took forever, why do you ask? /lh)

I'M MEGA SUPER DUPER GLAD, that Finn FINALLY looks like a chubby, wild bastard TOO, OH TOOTHPASTE MAN, HOW MANY HEARTACHES YOU GAVE ME OVER STRUGGLING TO DRAW AN ENDOMORPHIC BODY TYPE. BUT I CAN NOWWWWWWWwwww!!!!!

God this habit of loudly reading out my posts as I type them made me realise what a bad Schwarzenegger impression I do on accident bc I'm overly excited to post something after a month of silence SDKFSKLDG

ONE THING I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. IS PUT EVERY DETAIL I NEEDED ON A BIG REF. SO I DID! I've drawn closeups of the boys's eyes, I've drawn Finn's tongue so that I don't need to constantly remind myself what his blush and flesh colours were sdfkldsgkl, I FINALLY denoted their heights, so people know that they're tall TALL dudes (and that Finn obviously will struggle w/ his lanky mfing legs, we LOVE giving a middle-aged man heart attacks once he reaches his 40's!!!)

ANNDDD ALSO SOME SIDE VIEWS OF THEM. The last side-view I had of F & M, looked REAL bad. Like, Marco's face looked WAY too stereotypically European (to my fault bc surprise surprise not many African people live in Europe so I had poor frame of reference but I've been fixing it via looking up images online instead, at least it helps but yeah, I have a hard time so far unfortunately💀), Finn's was just... B u c k e t. NOT LIKE HANDSOME BUCKET. BUT JUST BUCKET. IT NEEDED FIXING (fun fact I accidentally made Finn have the most attractive jaw shape for men according to beauty standards and I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I JUST WANTED THIS MAN TO LOOK S Q U A R E AND THAT'S IT, MINECRAFT STEVE HAS MORE RIZZ THAN MOST MEN OFFICIALLY).

OH YEAH ALSO A CLAW REF AGAIN FOR FINN!!! His old ref looks too cool for me to give up on it tbh even as dated as it is sfjklsdglk, BUT I felt like I needed to redraw them properly.

FUNNILY ENOUGH A PERSON I COMMISSIONED SAID I HAVE SOME REALLY CLEAN AND NICE LINEART. I wish I heard that 5 years ago when I was really insecure about my bad lineart skills xD, I don't use lineart anymore nowadays outside of reference-drawings like these I don't plan to redraw in the next years unless necessary soooo yeah! They're gonna appear much rarer unless I go off and about making more ref sheets of all of my Sonc OC's sfklsdgsdfksdg

This drawing took 5 days to make btw. Not the hours spent on this LOL. 5 days of my life I'll never get back tho bc I care too much about my babies and I feel they deserve proper refs sdfklsdglk

WHAT ELSE SHOULD I MENTION.....HOPEFULLY I PLAN TO DRAW MORE HUMAN REFS IN THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF STAY IN MY COMFORT ZONE OF SONIC OCS ONLY. I for years wasn't confident in my ability to draw humans, but I can do so NOW at least!!!!!!!!!! Even if I'm like...3 years too late to how I wish my art looked back then already dsklfdsg, I have some high standards I need to continue to knock down as my 2024 resolution sdfklsdg

^IT'S BEEN WORKING THOUGH AS YOU CAN TELL BC I'VE BEEN UPLOADING SOME BAD DOODLES AND SKETCHES, BEEN DRAWING MORE GARBAGE AND BECAME MORE INVOLVED IN MY BELOVED FANDOMS. I wanna continue doing so! It was the most fun I've had with art ever. I hope to properly meet more fandoms I left in the past bc I thought it'd be embarrassing to share my passion for a franchise back then. I EMBRACE THE CRINGE NOW AS AN ADULT AT LEAST EVEN IF 7 YEARS TOO LATE ON THAT FRONT TOO. We all age and mature ig but I just become more silly year by year,,, c:

Oh yeah if you also see this btw lemme know, whether the new watermark tiles are subtle enough to not be noticed!!!! I know, watermarks are annoying and nobody likes them, but ever since AI invasions, I REFUSE to put my work online without ANY form of proof that somebody took it from my page. I just want people to stop lying on the internet for cloud and pick up a pencil. It's not that hard smfh. The only time I could excuse AI art is w/ amputees man. That's the only time I could empathise with someone, who wants to be an artist but LITERALLY can't bc they got dealt a bad hand in life. I digress my AI hate can be rambled about some other day, I know I love yapping and writing essays about THAT topic for sure sfklsdklg

I chose to post this ref to my Tumblr first tho, bc I still wanna work on my drawing of Abbacchio,,,, he is quite dear to me and I'd love to put effort into a doodle of him that won't take too long. Like 4 hours or 5 hours tops. I still have yet to figure out, if his cute star shape on his head is a hat or part of his hair. Bc I CAN'T TELL TBH AND I'VE BEEN DRAWING IT AS PART OF HIS HAIR PATTERN BUT I THINK IT'S A HAT NOW EVER SINCE I LOOKED AT MORE ASBR CAPS OF HIM I TOOK FOR REFERENCES. xD

Also another side-note, but I've ofc reduced down the lankiness of the dudes I draw™, but I in result wanted to sliiightly make larger feet/hands bc my Sonic phase will continue to possess me 'til the end of time /hj, if you also wanna lemme know what you think on that, bls do! I am messing about with stylization still. I am finding my footing with stylizing humans sOOO yeah!!!! I hope to some day be satisfied with my artstyle change of '24! So far it's been really rewarding and eye-opening to me and my journey as an artist for my 7 years of existing on the 'net w/ my silly goobers I like to scream about to in the void <3

Once again, tagnado also incoming below bc I dunno how to properly tag my art so lemme throw in things I THINK are relevant to this post sdkldsgkl

See you hopefully tomorrow w/ a lil doodle dump if I get around to it!!!! : D

[fanterfane]

The State of FanterFane, Now in ADHD!~

HEY YA'LL!

That's something I do now I guess, I say "YA'LL"! Either way, It's time for the first status update since the BIG ONE earlier this year. If you don't remember it or you're new, firstly, welcome, secondly, you can read it here: https://www.deviantart.com/fanterfane/journal/The-State-of-FanterFane-950469980. A lot of what I said here I'm still struggling with, and probably always will be, so it's still relevant. I've been told that several people have been recommended that post by Patreon because of it's high engagement, so I feel especial need to give the algorithm something better to serve. Also, this post is mainly about my struggles with ADHD, but it has other things and status updates sprinkled throughout. If you or someone you know has ADHD, I hope this helps!

For the sake of brevity though, I'll do a TL:DR right here. I developed carpal tunnel two months ago, and I've been working on treating it. It's been going pretty good lately, especially now that I finally have gotten my hands on ADHD medication after my long time lack thereof. As such, I've become much more productive and much, much happier! Things are looking up for me, and I'm hopeful for the future! Social acceptance for who I am now is still sometimes rough, but going better. SFW commissions have done wonders for my mental health, and I have plans for new art projects, commission queues, and more to try and do. I hope that you'll all continue to be the thing I get up for in the morning as I work to accomplish them! I'll be going on vacation next week, and I hope you all have a great summer!

Now for the super long part I don't fault anyone for NOT reading, here we go!

Earlier this year, it felt like I was spiraling down an unrecoverable path. Things I tried to do just wouldn't materialize. I would identify a problem like "My car is dirty" or "My room is messy" or even just "I should read and respond to this DM" and instead of working to solve it my anxiety would start up and make it so that I put it off. What if I messed it up? I was always so tired too, I just felt emotionless whenever I didn't feel sad. What if I just didn't deserve it anyway? What if all of this is a mistake? Those sorts of questions would plague me no matter what, preventing me from solving the very things giving me anxiety spiraling into even more anxiety. It was dumb, but mental health quite often is. It was getting so bad, that writing dialog and even just reading things started feeling like an anxiety induced dyslexic impossibility. For the longest time I assumed it was just depression, and that it would get better with time, but it hasn't over the years. Instead, it's only gotten worse year over year.

Now, I always get a little bit depressed every winter. Seasonal depression gets me down every year without fail, but this year was quite a bit more intense. The struggle between the two lives I live was really getting to me. I'd been doing ever more and more introspection, and discovering all the ways the way I was raised screwed me up definitely didn't help. Repressed memories often have a reason for being repressed. It doesn't help when the people you want to love you the most are the least supportive in your life, and might have even been partly the cause of some of your more unhealthy tendencies. Regardless of their intentions.

A big part of this issue though, I think at least, is that I've been unmedicated for my ADHD since High School. I stopped taking it as a Sophomore because I felt like I was smart enough to pass school without it, and that it wasn't helping me. The stigma against stimulants and medication in general was a big part of that decision. I was not self-aware enough at the time to realize that almost immediately my attention started suffering. It started slowly, too slowly for me to realize it at the moment, but gradually it became harder and harder to pay attention to class work over the years. It got so bad that in order for me to NOT fall asleep during class, I'd doodle on my classwork cause it kept me stimulated enough to stay awake. I'd always made good grades though, so I coasted through highschool on information osmosis and went on to community college, where it really started to catch up with me. Although again, I didn't realize it.

In community college, I had a couple of bad classes that really jarred me. Physics and Calculus. Physics was hard because the teacher was bad at teaching it, and 75% of that class failed the final, so I don't feel very bad about it. But the calculus class though, was the first time I'd ever felt like I'd failed myself in a class. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't understand the derivatives they tried to teach me. I passed, barely, but that was one of the times where I think my ADHD caught up to me, even if I didn't realize it. It wasn't much, but it was definitely a sign of things to come.

Once I got out of community college, I took a gap year between it and a longer stay at a university. During that time, I started trying to work on art more and more as a hobby. I started drawing possession, corruption, femboys, all that sorta  wonderful stuff. Then Covid hit. My gap year turned to two, and suddenly that was long enough for me to have started an actual *career* doing this. Which was beyond crazy to me. It motivated me to no end, I wanted nothing more than to create and have fun creating for all my followers.

In the end though, my ADHD caught up to me. Like it always does. Once the initial honeymoon phase was over, and I settled into the hum and drum of being an online digital artist, it reared its head again.

You see, ADHD is not something that goes away. You may not think about it, but it's always there. ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, potentially being renamed soon to the ASD spectrum, is a mental disorder affecting the brain's dopamine pathway. People with ADHD struggle because they have less dopamine for everything than most other people do. This either leads to hyperactivity, because you need to do MORE to feel the normal amount of reward chemical (how I was when I was younger). Or it leads to Inattention, because nothing you do feels rewarded or worthwhile (how I am now). There's just physically not enough dopamine being released in my brain for it to function properly most of the time. That's why ADHD is treated with stimulants like Adderall or Vyvanse, because they stimulate the release of more dopamine in the pathways. Making everything feel *right*. My symptoms may have changed over the years through things like masking and other stuff, but I realized recently that it never went away.

At the end of last year, I started watching ADHD Youtube videos that were recommended to me by my friends who also have ADHD. Lo and behold, a lot of what I was struggling with was the poster child of adulthood with ADHD. Anxiety, inability to do basic tasks, procrastination, lack of motivation, etc etc. I was especially hit hard by the concept of "Executive Dysfunction". Executive dysfunction, common with ADHD, impairs planning, task prioritization, memory, execution, and emotional regulation. All things I've been struggling with for years to various extents. Also things that got worse whenever I was depressed.

Naturally, the first thing someone might do to solve this, is get treated/medicated. So that's what I tried. I enrolled in a private health care plan (self-employment doesn't get healthcare through their employer, GO USA) just to find out that it was in the middle of a ADHD medication shortage. I was eligible to get approved for VyVanse, the meds I took when I was a kid, because they were 500$ a bottle. My insurance was 250$ a month. So they denied it, citing that I "Haven't tried the other medications." The ones that I tried getting, Adderall and a couple other ones, were never in stock. Even my friends who already had medication started being unable to get any at all. It was around that time that I made The State of FanterFane post, because this really hit me hard. I'd done everything I was supposed to, but the world still shot me down for it.

Then, on top of everything else, I developed Carpal Tunnel. Which screwed me up even more mentally and physically. Suddenly, even when I WAS motivated (which was getting rarer and rarer) I couldn't even draw then because my wrist was constantly in pain. It really started feeling like things really were unsalvageable. I truly felt without hope for the first time since college, and before that high school. Like everything I had done up to that point was pointless, and only resulted in me sacrificing my health for something that would've never worked out.

...Until the first week of this month, June 2023. When one of my friends was able to get their hands on Adderall again, signaling the end of the shortage. I immediately took my prescription to my local pharmacy, and got my first ever bottle of Adderall XR. I had high hopes for what it would do for me, but the thing I didn't expect was for me to regain hope.

The next day, I took my first dose and proceeded to start deep cleaning and rearranging my entire room. I did laundry, folded clothes, wiped away dust EVERYWHERE, organized my belongings and important files for the first time EVER, unpacked moving boxes that hadn't moved in 2 years and much, much more! Essentially, I turned my entire room upside down over the course of a week. I can't really put into words just how liberating it felt, how finally being able to just see a problem, and then solve it immediately without any anxiety or self-doubt changed *everything*. Even better, every task completed was less anxiety to affect me whenever I felt down or depressed. I can't hate myself for having a messy room when it's so clean, it's literally *rearranged* after all!

To put it simply, it felt like my brain was *working again*. For the first time in literal YEARS. Once I was done cleaning, I moved onto working on art, posting, responding to messages and sorting personal files. These past three weeks have been three of the most productive weeks I've had in a very long time. I feel like I've not been this productive since the initial honeymoon phase of Dullahan Dilemma and the Attenborough collection (callback!). All the while, I got better at treating my carpal tunnel, to the point where it's not constantly pins and needling me anymore, and it even feels just generally better all the time! I've been getting better and better at doing various tasks, and I believe I'm truly on the road to recovery now.

Things from here are looking up! Genuinely! I wouldn't be here either if it wasn't for all of you kind people supporting me, even through the toughest times. I'm beyond grateful for that. I'd worship the ground you all walk on if I could. Without ya'll, I would not be here today. Forgive me for taking on a somewhat political tone, but I have no idea who I'd even be at this point without all of you, and all of my wonderful friends that I’ve met while doing this. Perhaps I'd have fallen deeper into the alt-right pipeline as a disenfranchised southern white guy. Becoming more homophobic and repressing my inner self even more than I already had been my entire life due to my upbringing. That was the only place I felt like I could fit into the conservative worldview my folks raised me in, after all. Maybe I would've gone back to school for a degree I couldn't use and in debt, landing in a terrible corporate job that didn't care for me. At least I would've got health insurance then, but also maybe all of my health problems would've gotten worse and worse and never got better, since I never would've had the motivation to fix them by working out, losing weight, and watching my diet. I honestly don't know, and thinking too deeply about the "what-ifs'' of it is pointless.

But now, what I can say is that when all the anxiety clears and the depression abates, I'm truly happy. For the first time in my life, I feel like I actually have an identity. Like my emotions actually do matter and that I'm not just some soulless machine whose only goal in life is to make money. I'm a human being. Although I may not be created in God's image, I have thoughts, feelings, and most importantly, flaws. I'm gay/bisexual, I'm not very masculine nor do I desire to be so, I like having long hair, and I like doing more effeminate things that most guys in the crowd I was falling into would balk at and blame on chemicals in the water. In other words, I feel healthier than ever. Mentally AND physically. I thank all of you, each and every single one, for staying with me throughout all of this. If any of you ever feel like you wanna reach out, especially if I can help you in some comparatively small way, please do. My DMs are always open, it's the LEAST I can do.

Some other things I should touch on- I've gotten a lot of surprising support for my transition from my extended family and friends. The closest is still the most difficult, I can't get my nails painted for instance, I was told not to when I asked, much to my chagrin. I've got a pride bracelet I've been wearing around, and no one has said anything about it, so that's good I suppose. Fox news still blares on the television in the living room, even after all the stuff that's gone down with *that* channel in recent times. I've given up on trying to convince them otherwise. I’ve been discredited anyway because I draw "X-rated shit", that doesn't make enough money. Even though as far as most people my generation are faring financially, I'm doing pretty good!

The SFW commissions have been going fantastic! Especially on the mental health side of things. It's helped me realize that I do in fact, have options. I'm not trapped doing one thing forever, which is honestly the thing that was scaring me the most. Just like the threat of a soul-draining corporate job till the day I die. I don't have to worry about what I'll be doing in 10 years, because I think I've built enough support and especially self-taught skill that no matter what I do, I'll be okay. It's only up from here, and I've even been feeling the flame of passion returning for TF and other lewdness! So you can for sure expect to see much more of that over the next few years, no matter what!

Speaking of money though, I have more plans for the future now too. I'm gonna make more money by doing more commissions and creating more sources of revenue. Just so that I can afford to move out, and get away from this toxic environment I find myself in. The cheapest apartments where I live run for about 750$ a month, so I'm hoping to save up over the next year and move the hell out. I think I'll be able to afford it, provided there are no extraneous events that hurt me financially. I'll be trying things like more YCH's, sketch commission streams like the patreon request streams, art packs, and maybe even merch! Ya'll be the first to be notified about any of this. The first YCH auction will hopefully be this weekend! It will be based on Nyan Cat possession, and the MC will be trying to run away from the cringey 2000's era meme culture that haunts them to this day. Thing is, the past has a funny way of coming back to haunt you!~

Finally, I'm going on vacation next week to see some friends in LA! If you're someone I know/trust around the LA area, and you wanna meet up, let me know in DMs and we'll see if we can arrange it! I may take a further vacation the week after for rest, but after that we'll be back to regularly scheduled LEWDNESS work!

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for coming with me and supporting me on this journey. Happy pride month, and I hope everyone has a great Summer! I love all of you! Here's to several more years of FanterFane!

XOXO,

FanterFane

[befemininenow]

Top posts of the year

Hello fellow followers! As the end of the year is slowly approaching, I want to give a thanks to all your support! We may not all share the same interests, but we all share a similar interest of wishing to connect more with our feminine sides. I want to share my last Throwback Thursday by looking back at something more special outside of my own past: my most popular captions by my followers! It will also be my pinned post until New Year’s Day arrives! Here are the top 5 most liked and shared captions (created by me) from this blog:

5th most popular is this one of Sunny Leone in sexy lingerie. This one was created out of impulse and I was caught by surprise that it caught on more than I would have thought. Then again, someone hot like her would provoke you into cracking your egg if she actually said that.

4th place is this art of someone dressing as a woman. This was my very first caption and decided to use this well known drawing used in captions for several years. From what I was able to find later, it was a commission drawn by a known TG transformation artist. However, this person in the drawing is transgender and she (not “he”) is happy to see herself looking back. The euphoria in her face may explain why she hasn’t worn the wig yet. Crossdressing may help some trans individuals with dysphoria and can even serve as a catalyst in transitioning if they feel the need to feminize (or masculinize if trans male) beyond dressing. I may look into recreating this caption in the future as I related more to this pic after discovering the origin.

3rd place is this caption of some girl in cleavage. I’m just going to leave it at that. I wrote as a way to show how “boymoding” can only work until your feminizing results make it difficult to hide. Boymoding, from what I was able to understand, is when transitioning girls under HRT dress as male, but everyone around them notices they’re turning into a girl. In other words, the people around them see them as a crossdresser instead of a guy now. Yet, boymoders deny their feminizing changes. Once it becomes too obvious, like bigger breasts or softer skin, their only option left is to come out as a trans girl.

2nd is this very hot GIF, and it’s easy to see why it’s so hypnotic. The crop top and leggings hugging her own curves, the way she moves, her long, flowing hair, and her overall looks are persuasive enough to either chase her, become her, or both! The clip was originally from a Vine (remember those?) that was difficult to edit, recrop, and make into what you’re seeing right now. I don’t make GIFs anymore, but maybe I’ll make another one like this one day.

And in 1st place is this one of a woman holding a set of pills. Although they’re actually birth control pills, this pic was used in long-gone caption affirming the user to take hormones. Many trans people are placed in a waiting list to be prescribed gender-affirming hormones, and that’s after an extensive time being in therapy sessions. These waitlists take months, or even years, before being cleared out. Oh, and these trans people are all adults! So it’s no surprise as to see why many would love to get their hands on HRT if handed to them instantly. If you’re in that process, please reach resources such as Planned Parenthood, Plume, or other sources available in your country or region that will help you guide your transition into a girl.

-Conclusion

These top posts say something more than wishing to connect with our feminine sides. Based on this list, it seems many wish to also become a girl for other reasons. I can’t judge what you like as I am responsible for creating these captions. But as someone who is learning more about their trans identity, my captions are slowly drifting away from fantasy and diving more into reality. I will slip in something provocative as a way to tease you. But it most likely won’t fall under the “forced fem” topic, but rather as a way to “crack” your egg. There will be more surprises showing up come next year, or up until this blog lasts. Until then, happy night people!

[frogboi2023]

COMMISSIONS & CRAFTS FOR SALE 2024:

For those that may not know, I've been having troubles getting some kind of cash assistance. Even though I'm on food assistance, I can't get any more cash assistance because I'm "Disabled, but not too disabled to work." (Despite my physical and mental health slowly getting worse, and not being able to get a full diagnosis and treatment for my current health issues.)

Until my appeal goes through, I'm trying to advertise my crafts and commissions on more of the platforms I'm on.

(NOTE: All money I get from commissions and the things I sell, are split into helping my partner and family, along with necessities for myself, more crafts supplies, pet food/pet care, etc. Once I'm more financially stable in the future, I hope to be able to maybe give some of my money back to the community to help people in need. Or use that money to create something that can help people in need.)

ART COMMISSIONS:

You may already know that I draw art. (Both traditionally and digitally.) My current prices are listed below, but if you want to see more examples, feel free to message me and I'll be happy to show you some pics of my most recent pieces! ☺️

CRAFTS:

I have a small online shop where I sell handmade items. I've made bookmarks, plushies, dragon eggs, jewelry, and more! (If you'd like to see more examples, feel free to message me on here and I'd be happy to show you/tell you about the other things I make. ☺️)

FUTURE PROJECTS:

1. Sometime in the future, depending on if I can get a diagnosis/help with my joints/fatigue, I want to be able to design/alter clothes inspired by the Harajuku/Ouji/Alternative fashion styles, and sell them to people. Until then, I'm only (slowly) making/altering clothes for myself. You can see some of my clothes alteration projects at:

Instagram 1: phoenix.creates_2024

Instagram 2: phoenix.models_2024

2. I also plan on customizing and selling furbys once I'm in a better spot to do so, financially and physically.

3. Before my joints got bad, I used to be a freelance front-end web designer/developer. Unfortunately I've had to stop doing that for now due to chronic joint pain and fatigue. If I ever get help for these issues, I plan on going back into web design and offer my services to people again.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. ☺️

[naris-606]

So I have these 2 Ocs, Verbannen, and Dee. They arnt too special, but theor world is. And so I thought it would be cool to put hermitcraft/life series guys into it!

I'm calling this AU, 'To Be Changed'. TBC. Short for, 'To be loved, is to be changed.'

Context: this world is set in kinda like the time of a dnd game. Kinda renaissance time, but not strictly. And in this world, the heavens above grant someone who's gone through hardship (often near death) in which they did not intend for that, or it was a selfless act, it will grant them animal traits corresponding with that hardship. A good example, Dee was doing magic to create a shield to save her city, but it backfired and burnt her all over. In response, she was granted traits of a rat since rats can be very loving, but they are often associated with death.

Jimmy was the first character I thought I'd tackle for this world. He's a canary blessed wizard in training.

I'm not going to spill much of his backstory in case this gets popular and people want to see more, but his story is very deeply connected with Tango (because ranchers), and Grian! He's in an internship Grian started.

Next up is Grian himself! Who is a Bluejay blessed high wizard!

(His eye is fine I just messed up) His backstory is connected to Martyn's, Mumbo's, and Pearl's. And probably many more, but I have yet to plan things out for them. He also started a wizarding internship to train future wizards! Everyone in the life series is in it in some way.

Third up is Scar! He's a lion blessed knight in training! And former con artist!

(I'm still working on his design ;-; ) Hid backstory is connected with Grian, even if the two didn't meet until later. He's just helping put the city as a kight!

Fourth up is Tango! He's a slamander blessed alchemist!

His backstory is connected deeply with Jimmy's. Unfortunately I don't know much about Tango, but he's cool!

Next up is Etho! He's a snake blessed highly respected toolsmith/mechanic/engineer/alchemist. Somthing along thoes lines. And former mercenary!

(Work in progress design as well) His backstory is mostly solo, but there's plenty of room for others to join in! He's friends with Tango, Bdubs, and Joel!

Next up is Bdubs! He's an unblessed commission builder! (Who I have no art for) His backstory is a work in progress, but he is just a ball of chaos. And though he's not blessed, but if he were he'd be a rooster.

Next is Martyn, who's a bat blessed mid wizard. His background is deeply connected with Grian's, even if the two didn't meet till later.

Up next, Mumbo is an octopus blessed inventor! His backstory is deeply connected with Grian, and probably one of the lighter ones. And currently he works with Etho occasionally.

Joel is next! And he's a unblessed commission builder with Bdubs! He's married to Lizzie, and their backstories and current stories are deeply connected. He met Grian in a hardware store.

Along with Joel, is Lizzie! She's an axolotl blessed animal keeper! Her background is connected with Joel, and the reason for her blessing. She and Jimmy are friends, and she considers him a brother.

Next is Rendog! He's a wolf blessed noble, and his story is connected with Doc, and most of it still needs planned. He funds the internship! Doc and Martyn are probably the two keeping him from being a bad noble.

Last but not least for what I have written, is Pearl! She's a black witch moth blessed commission builder and ex-wizard. Her background is heavily connected with Grian's and close to Martyn's. Her and Grian are siblings!

Other than Doc and Xisuma, I don't have many plans for others. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas, I'll gladly take them!

[stardust-blossom]

LUKANETTE FANFIC

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marinette walked into school on a calm Wednesday morning, feeling content. It had been a year since she started dating Luka, and she was finally over Adrien. Things had settled down both in her civilian and superhero lives.

Chat Noir had stopped flirting with her as Ladybug, claiming he found someone he truly cared about and wanted to be with. M'Lady had become a platonic nickname, and Marinette was okay with that.

She had removed all the pictures of Adrien and his schedule from her room and replaced them with photos of her, Luka, and her friends, along with a yearly planner. She was determined to keep up with all her commitments, from commissions to exams to her duties as a hero.

Marinette had even found a great friend in Kagami. They would often go to coffee shops together and attend Art Club, where Marinette bonded with Marc and Nathaniel over their shared passion for art. Her group of friends no longer made overly complicated plans to win over Adrien, but instead enjoyed hanging out, watching movies, and attending Kitty Section gigs on the Couffaine houseboat.

As she opened the door to the locker room, Marinette spotted Adrien loading his books into his locker.

"Good morning, Marinette!" Adrien greeted her.

"Good morning, Adrien!" Marinette flashed him a genuine smile.

Marinette was finally able to have a conversation without stuttering and becoming jittery.

"How have you been?" Adrien asked.

"Not too bad," Marinette replied. "My commissions have eased up a little. And you?"

"Great," Adrien said. "Kagami and I have a fencing tournament in two months. Would you like to cheer us on?"

"Of course," Marinette grinned. "How's Luka doing?"

"Good," Marinette replied. "Kitty Section has a gig in a couple of weeks, and we're preparing for it."

"Great! And don't forget, I'm always up to play keyboards if you need it," Adrien said.

"I'll let them know," Marinette said. "Well, I better get going to class. See you there!"

Marinette watched Adrien walk away with a sense of contentment. She had everything she needed:

a loving boyfriend

supportive friends

and parents who respected her decisions.

Marinette felt happy, and she knew that her future looked bright.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey blossoms

I really hope you enjoy this fanfic because it took me more than 1 hour to finish

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[midnightsun-if]

Since I’m nosy and curious what would you share on a hypothetical Patreon? 👀👀👀

I’ll just put this beneath the cut so the people who don’t want to interact with this don’t have to see it…

I’d probably double check with all of you what you’d like to see on the Patreon! After all, you all would be the people paying for said content… Some of my ideas though?

Early Access to future updates (which I feel like is a given).

RO POV Stories… Either to do with the MC (during canon, potentially before, or after) or something to do with their individual backstories. Or maybe just some fun scenarios involving them.

Family Stories— from back when the MC was a child, different events that transpired (while the MC was there or before… like how Helena and Saraya met).

Sibling Stories with them being the RO.

I might even do the sibling romance stories on there too… Wherein it wouldn’t become public until they were completed. (And I’d probably do each one at a time… Letting you all pick which sibling to do first.)

Different Polls for things. Like specific scenes you might want to see, what character I should focus on (like if I wanted to do a RO Month or Family Month specifically, etc). Might even ask for potential things that could become canon (like if I want to add a fourth pet option or something).

Lore Posts (would also take recommendations about what you’d like to see). Might even delve into my favorite love story that I have in the canon story that’s sort of become a myth in itself within the world of supernaturals.

Art, of course. SFW or NSFW (the monthly support being the thing that’d help me pay for said commissions).

Just NSFW content in general.

Q&As with the various characters or whatever else (again would let you all choose what you’d like to see at the beginning of each month).

Guides whenever we get to that point in the story. Would probably also have a spoiler tag just in case….

I’d love to be able to let you all make characters for the world of Midnight Sun… from a Professor at Aurelian, to a shopkeeper in Avalon, to anything else… (It wouldn’t be a perk for everyone, but I think it’d be fun.)

Scattered Dev Blogs— behind the scenes stuff, seeing potentially deleted scenes, etc.

Given the option to help direct potential scenes in the future (what you’d like to see) or being given the choice to help me customize things…

Might even share more of my “Untitled IF” on there too… Who knows though.

Honestly, I’d just be willing to see what you all would like to see as well! My ideas may not be the best or the most interesting, but I’d be willing to listen to feedback from you all!

I’d also like to point out the a couple of the things, like the art, would end up making their way onto here as well! Of course, there will be things that are Patreon Only, but I wouldn’t want you all, the ones that either can’t afford the Patreon or just don’t wish to subscribe to it, miss out on potentially important things…

Thank you for being curious about my potential future plans. You’re a sweetheart! ❤️