#i promise I am nice

[epickiya722]

THEY REALLY DO HAVE 🎊 NEW ARRIVAL 🎊!!

All I can think about now is that scene from the Corpse Bride.

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[deadbeatdyslexic]

I like to think I am not mean, but when I see someone walking on the side walk and I am in a car or bus I always think something like:

“Ha, peasant. Does thou know not of a carriage? Certainly so for thou uses such a lowly means of transportation in the present day.” This is all said in a haughty voice by the way.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

posting this with absolutely no context

[fudgecake-charlie]

"rebelle painter has an in depth brush engine to simulate traditional painting techniques" is all well and good until you only use your digital painting method. at least the impasto is really pretty

[hangmanbrainrot]

💞✨ send this to the 12 nicest people you know or seem to have a good heart and if you get 5 back you must be pretty awesome 💞✨

ANGEL BABY, THANK YOU!! <3

[henswilsons]

s1 moments that make me scream 16/?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

[tj-crochets]

I've got another thing to add to my list of top five funniest things doctors have said to me: My latest test results came back, and I now have a document saying I have, and I quote, "unremarkable hands"

[hijinxinprogress]

12 year old tim realizing robin’s not coming back to gotham and deciding that it’s Batman’s fault so he has to ruin the little bit of sanity and peace of mind Bruce has managed (read: struggled) to keep in his grasp:

[cerise-on-top]

Alright, I just had another sweet idea that I wanted to post about:

Johnny knows Scottish Gaelic. Sometimes, he looks for an excuse to speak it, even if that excuse is just trying to annoy you since you can't understand him. He's very proud of his heritage. However! You can ask him to sing for you! His voice is kind of rough, and it cracks here and there, but he will sing to you if you ask him to. He actually loves singing you some cheesy love songs in Scottish Gaelic. Will gently hold you while singing and look at you with as much love as he can muster, always finishing off his songs with a kiss to the top of your head. It doesn't matter if you're taller or shorter than him, a kiss is the law. If you tell him that you love it when he sings to you, he'll actually do it more often! If you need some comfort, then he'll hold you close and just sing to you. It may not seem like much since he really doesn't have a very nice singing voice, but to someone, who's never been sang a lullaby before, it's the thought that counts. Johnny hopes he can make you feel at ease, if just a little bit. He wants to shield you from this cruel and unyielding world, and if him singing you a small lullaby in Scottish Gaelic can help with that, then he's more than willing to learn the sweetest songs out there!

[averlym]

"We are pleased to inform you that you have been awarded the Phaethon Prize...."

[kacievvbbbb]

say what you want about the show. You cannot deny that they always bring their A game for cast promo pics.

[tojiscrack]

to my all little liars!! (edit: wtf happened to my english? 😭)

we’re at 24.6k words rn 😟 if you plan on reading it next week, i recommend you read it on the weekends when there’s no school or work for you waiting in the morning 😀

calling in the troops rn ‘cause there’s still one final scene i have to write and it’s gonna be LONG (this isn’t including the bonus scene btw) but it’s extremely important for the story to continue, and without it, the rest of the story literally cannot go on 😭

we’re locking in guys. it’s 100% gonna border 30k words for sureee. sm has happened in that ONE chapter and i literally cannot wait to release it for all of you, you have no ideaaa

gonna go to bed and then wake up, study, break, write for the fic, repeat. had to randomly drop an update here cuz i’ve been edging you guys for so long i’m sorryyy, but it really is nearly here <333

edit: fck it guys i’m writing it rn (the immediate comments got me motivated)

[babygirlwolverine]

big changes but the same fluff blog! get ready for double the kisses with deancas and poolverine 💋

deancaskiss >>>>> babygirlwolverine \|/

thank you to everyone who voted in my url poll. y’all chose this url so this one’s for you! and don’t worry, there will still be plenty of destiel on my blog with lots of poolverine too ❤️💛

[forestgreenlesbian]

finished the snoopy jacket🐶🐶 she is reversible!!!!!!!