#i read That Scene a few hours ago and am still really really sad so this is how i cope :(((( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cinemairon · 2 years

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🎀 𝒰𝒮𝒰𝒦 𝒞𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓂𝒶𝓈 𝓈𝓉❤𝓇𝓎 🎀

December 24 1780

It was Christmas Eve already. I was so busy arranging everything for the next battle that I didn’t even realize until now... The worst part of a war isn’t the battles, but everything you lose in the process. Your family, your home… even the little joys of life like sitting next to the fireplace waiting for Christmas to come. I kept staring at the page in my calendar with a sad smile for a few moments, then I went through my mail. I took a deep breath and exhaled heavily.

“You never give up, do you…?”, I whispered holding Arthur’s letter in my hands.

My feelings were so mixed. Not so long ago I would yearn for a letter from him in this day. I would eagerly open it, with a secret hope it would announce his visit for the holidays, only to have my heart crushed finding out he isn’t coming this year either… I would put it away with a smile, to hide my true feelings, then I would cry for an hour or two when I was alone in my room. I was feeling so lonely and neglected… To think that now he was here, almost just a breath away, and yet I couldn’t reach out to him, because he was my enemy…

My grip tightened around the letter while silent rage was piercing me to the core. It wasn’t my fault that we were in these terms. If he wasn’t so stubborn... if he gave me the freedom I was asking for… if he was able just for once to truly understand me, we wouldn’t have come to this. I couldn’t even enjoy my Christmas because of this war. It used to be my favorite holiday, but now I almost missed it, just because he couldn’t accept my natural need for independence!

I went straight to the fireplace and was about to cast the letter into the fire, with my mind clouded by the negative thoughts and my heart overwhelmed by painful emotions, but something coming from deep down stopped me the last moment. I puffed and tossed the file on the desk falling heavy to my armchair. I was feeling so drained… I watched the flames in the fireplace dancing against the red bricks and I felt my eyes going heavy.

“Alfred? Wake up my dear”

My eyes opened wide and I jolted from my chair in the sound of the familiar voice.

“Arthur?”, I looked around but I didn’t see anyone.

“I am here”, the voice echoed from above me.

I raised my eyes and then I saw the Britannia Angel flying over my head. I sighed disappointed. I have been dreaming after all…

“Why didn’t you read his letter?”, he asked with a sad low voice.

“Why should I?”, I asked him back avoiding to look him in the eye.

“If you never give him the chance to make amends, you will come to regret it eventually”.

“Yeah”, I chuckled bitterly, “what would you say… you are just a side of him”.

“On the contrary”, he said looking straight at me by lowering to my chair’s level, “…if this is really a dream, as you figured, then I am nothing but a part of your own subconscious”.

I hissed and looked away refusing to admit that there was even a little part of me that still desired any contact with Arthur. He noticed that and took a step behind before flying towards the open window.

“You can’t erase history. But if you take action in the present, you may alter the future”, he said and disappeared in the snowstorm.

I rubbed my eyes and stood up to close the window. I really needed to sleep this off. I went to bed, then got under the cold bedsheet, willing it to warm up with my own temperature. I closed my eyes and I tried to sleep, when suddenly, the sound of steps made me jolt. I lit a candle and followed the sound coming from outside.

I opened the bedroom’s door and walked down the hallway. But this wasn’t my hallway, was it? I’ve never seen this long corridor before in my life. The floor looked like a chess board and there were 3 red velvet curtains in my way. Hesitantly I pulled the first to my right. At once, I was taken by the warm light of the room and a familiar scene was taking place in front of my eyes. A younger Arthur and my own young self were opening presents and sharing treats. We both seemed so happy and relaxed together… I looked at the boy with the striking eyebrows and the kind emerald eyes. Back then he looked so big in my eyes, but only now I realized he was a child himself. This realization made me feel very strange. I always had so great expectations from him, because I thought of him so highly, that I was convinced there was nothing that he couldn’t do. But in that age would I ever be able to travel all around the globe? Let alone take care of another child… I might have been a strong boy but even now, taking such a responsibility would be impossible to me.

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud exclamation. My little self had stumbled dropping his new toy into the fireplace. He was caught by Arthur before landing to the floor with his face. But he didn’t seem to care about that and kept crying for his toy. The older boy then rushed to the fireplace and bare handedly saved the toy from the fire jumping a little at the contact of the flames with his little pale fingers. He cleaned it from the ashes and gave it back to my younger self, which cheered and clapped happily. Arthur offered a pained smile keeping his burnt hands behind his back. I hadn’t noticed back then but I could clearly see it now. How many struggles did he hide from me… and how many others was I too young to notice?

Suddenly everything went quiet and the room was cold and empty. A familiar voice echoed from the other side of the corridor making me turn. I noticed some fade light coming from behind the second curtain. Hesitantly I pulled this one as well. It was the current Arthur’s room in the place he was staying with my brother during the war. Matthew was quietly serving tea, while Arthur was staring blankly out of the window. His face was ghost pale and I couldn’t help noticing the redness of his eyes. On his desk there was a pile of letters but none of them seemed to interest him.

“He didn’t answer this time either, did he?”, asked Matthew.

Arthur just shook his head slowly and went back to bed. My brother placed his palm on his forehead and for a moment I felt a spike of jealousy. Arthur avoided his touch and looked away, claiming he is fine. Matthew then insisted they should call the doctor as his fever wasn’t going down, but he declined firmly giving him his back. My brother sighed and turned away but when he got to the door he stopped and whispered.

“You know… I am still here for you”.

“It isn’t the same…”

“You shouldn’t be suffering over someone that doesn’t care about you”, stated bitterly.

His words angered me a lot. No matter how nice and quiet he was, he could be so harsh if he wished to. But he knew nothing of my feelings or struggles or the pain this situation was causing me. He never tried to understand me, as I never really did for him either. He should keep his opinion for himself and his mouth shut. Arthur curled in the bed and whispered.

“It’s in our nature to seek what we can’t have, I suppose…”

Matthew sighed and walked away defeated. My lips unwantedly formed a satisfied smug. No matter how much he tried, he would never be me. He would never replace me or grow in Arthur as I did. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a quiet crying that made my heart clench. This sound was so foreign to me… I had never heard or witnessed Arthur crying before. He never expressed this kind of emotions, or allowed to be seen in such a vulnerable state. The all mighty England… the cruel pirate… the powerful Empire… the dynastic enemy, was also a person with feelings and weaknesses like all of us. I walked in and stood upon his bed. He was so fragile and small in front of me… but somehow this didn’t make me feel any stronger. The only thing we have been doing was hurting one another but we didn’t take a moment to listen and understand each other’s feelings. I reached out to touch him but everything faded away and the room was dark and empty all of a sudden.

I looked around and I saw the last curtain in the end of the corridor. I walked towards it, hoping to find out what was lying ahead for us. I pulled the curtain and I was welcomed by loud music of a kind that I’ve never heard before. The room was full of people, some familiar but mostly strangers. In the middle of the room I saw a man standing next to a gigantic Christmas tree greeting people with a wide smile and a strong grip. To his face I recognized myself and I felt proud. Apparently no matter how things were now, one day everything would be ok. I would be strong and popular and everyone would want to be around me…. Or at least almost everyone. I browsed around looking for a very specific person with extremely peculiar eyebrows, but I didn’t see him anywhere. My gaze returned to my future self and then I noticed he was doing just the same… searching for the one that wasn’t there… seeking for what he could never have. Only then I realized how fake his wide smile was and the emptiness in the eyes behind those glasses. Matthew then approached him offering a glass of champagne.

“Is he not coming this year either?”, he asked.

“I don’t know, he didn’t answer to my calls or invitation”, my future self answered downing his drink.

“Well… neither did you back at the time”, stated my brother and walked away.

For a glimpse of a moment my future self and I locked eyes. I took a step back surprised that he was able to see me. But most of all I was shocked to see this look in his eyes, as if he blamed me for something. He turned away quickly with the same fake smile on his face, as someone held out a strange machine to which he posed. A strong light shined all across the room. I closed my eyes blinded, but when I opened them again, the room was completely gone and all that was left was that strange pale light. The light came closer taking the form of the Britannia Angel.

“Why did you show me all these?”, I asked.

He didn’t answer to me, he just stood there and pulled a feather out of his wings.

“They say that what we are is but a choice… a promise to ourselves… that we are free to break and change. But maybe our destiny is decided and we are just trapped in it”. He held out the feather then let it fall from his hand. “The time required for this to reach the ground and where it falls is already decided”.

I lowered my eyes and looked at the feather that just landed on my foot.

“And you really can’t change it?”, I asked raising my eyes at him.

“Why would you wish to change it?”

“Because this isn’t what I wanted. When I started this war, my goal was to be heard and seeing by him as an equal. I didn’t want to feel so left behind…”, my voice started shaking. “All I wished for… was to march to this world by his side… not just following in the distance”.

The angel smiled and lowered at my level looking right into my eyes.

“There is a way to trick fate”, he took my face into his hands. “Do something spontaneous without awareness. Something you would never expect or be expected to do!”

He pecked my nose tip and flew up high in circles laughing.

“Stay strong, my dear. Don’t let life consume you”.

With these words he disappeared leaving a cloud of feathers behind falling like snow in my cold bedroom. I held my hand out and caught one of them in the air cutting its fall. I opened my palm and watched as its color was changing from pure white to crimson red. I started laughing and I fell back in the pile of now all red feathers.

Destiny could be changed.

When I woke up, I turned to the window. It wasn’t too late.

I got dressed and without a second thought I took my horse and rode my way to find him. When I got into the place he was staying in, I knocked on the door, but Matthew wouldn’t let me in. He claimed that Arthur was sick and he didn’t want to see me. That we were nothing but foes. But it was a lie. We were much more than that. Arthur and I were not just one thing and our relationship would never being able to be defined by a single word except “special”. Even so, no matter what I said he didn’t let me in. I tried to break in, but he had locked every single door and window. I puffed and fell back to the snow exhausted. I stared at the sky and whispered to myself.

“Do something spontaneous without awareness. Something you would never expect or be expected to do”.

I stood up determined and started climbing up to the roof. I looked at the chimney. There was no smoke coming out, so I decided to risk it. If Santa could do it, so could I. I slipped in and started climbing it down, when suddenly my foot slipped and I found myself falling into the fireplace of Arthur’s bedroom. He jumped up and turned at me in utter confusion. I crawled out with a groan and a cough, then looked up at him and our eyes met.

“Merry Christmas?”, I wished awkwardly standing up and dusting myself from the ashes.

He didn’t say anything. All he did was getting out of his bed and open his arms reaching out to me. I did the same and the two of us shared a longing embrace. It’s been so long I was yearning for it… and I felt he did as well. In that moment, during this cold Christmas night in the middle of a war between us, without words or explanations, we finally managed to understand each other’s feelings. In silence, together we changed fate.

“Why?”, he asked with low voice.

“Because life is surreal…”, I answered and looked into his eyes. “You are not my enemy. We are more than war and pride. And our bond will never be torn by our fights…”, I leaned my forehead on his own and closed my eyes. “But I won’t lose to you in this war, Arthur. You taught me to always fight and do the best for my people, so I won’t disappoint you. I will not bow to anyone. Not even you. I will never belong to you and you will never have me…”, I whispered lacing my fingers with his own. “So, knowing that, keep longing for me… seek for me, and never give up”. I kissed his cheek and smiled. “Let’s see together what the future holds for us”.

He looked at me with silent tears and a smile giving a nod of agreement. We didn’t say much that night. But even this short meeting was enough for us to see another side of one another. And maybe in time understand each other’s reasons better, with more compassion. So when the centuries passed and I was hosting that huge Christmas party, my gaze eventually found the one I was looking for. And in the end of the night, the photo that was taken of me, could capture an honest smile but two people, not just one, as this time Arthur was there by my side.

And thus, it was indeed a merry “Merry Christmas”.

(This is officially my very first fanfic after 12 years into usuk. As I am not accustomed to this form of narrative in English, which is not my native language, please excuse any potential mistake in the past tense and have a merry Merry Christmas or any short of holiday you celebrate this day.)

#my stuff #usuk #beiei #libertea #fanfiction #christmas #america x england #alfred x arthur #aph usuk #hws usuk #hetalia #usuk fanfiction #merry christmas #references to Sion Sono and Lord of the Lost are all over the place

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pbandjesse · 11 months

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It's only 730 and it so dark out! It's not even daylights savings yet. Ridiculous.

Today was a busy day! It was a fun day though even if my body is vaguely uncomfortable. I had to wake up at 730 (oh weird exactly 13 hours ago) so I could get ready to go to the walk in doctors appointment with James. I very much did not want to go to the doctor. But James wanted us to go so we did.

We had a little trouble getting there. Just traffic and bad drivers. I loved my outfit though so even though I wasn't feeling amazing, mostly because I wasn't all the way awake, I felt really cute and good. I just got this sweater tank dress and it's super cozy. James said I liked glamorous.

We got to the doctor right as they opened. And were the first ones in. We had to fill out some papers. But pretty quickly they took us back together! I liked that!

We weigh the same. Our blood pressure was good. James resting heart rate was 59. I didn't catch what mine was.

We would go into a room to wait and eventually I was taken back to be seen by myself.

The doctor was pleased that I was seeing the rhumatologist and that so many of my issues are getting better. He was very concerned when I told him about my A1C test from the summer and so I had to get a finger prick test and my glucose thankfully was 80 and that's in the normal range. So the panic everyone was radiating lessened but they are concerned by my shaky hands and seeing black spots. I will be going back to gert blood work with them soon. They only do it there on Tuesdays and Thursdays though so I have to figure that out. I'll figure that out tomorrow.

We would finish up there around 930. And we decided to go get breakfast at Southside.

I always like eating there. And it was fun sitting with James and just talking about buying a house and life and the day. I just love spending time with my James. They did have a little sadness in their eyes today and told me they were just having a hard time. They have those days sometimes. I do to so I understand.

After breakfast we headed to highlandtown for my meeting. We waited a few minutes but we were still wildly early. So we would run over to target to use their bathroom and then come back. I was feeling a little weird. My body felt weird. But I tried to shake that off and be positive.

We got back to highlandtown and James would wait in the car and read. I walked over to creative alliance but I wasn't sure how to get inside. Another woman was waiting so I headed over there. But then Parker was at the door and he thought she was me and it was very funny to me. I think my height surprised him. It is not my fault I am so small!!

Parker is great though. He gave me a tour of both buildings. Both just beautifully designed spaces. I loved seeing the behind the scenes and seeing the set spaces. I did not know that they had artist in residences there and they are legit apartments! That's so cool!

We would sit in the classroom where my workshops will be and I got to envision how that would lay out. And we spent a really good amount of time talking through my STEAM programs I've been working on. And he wants to put three on the calendar in the new year. So I am going to propose those to camp tomorrow. And if they are down I'll get that all sorted. A critter talk and felt craft, a native species heart wall hanging, and a paper making with native seed inclusion project. I think it will be super cool and give camp a whole new audience.

I also shared with him about this blog and the overarching project it was and has become. How I work on it for about an hour if not more every night. How it has made me a better writer in ways but also just helps me find center after a long day. He was impressed. He is trying the artist way daily pages and I think I inspired him a little and that was really cool.

After our meeting I was in a great mood and went back to the car to see my husband. I stopped to take a picture of a flower. And was excited to tell them everything but they seemed so sad. I hate when I can't fix everything for them but they said they were okay and I told them all about the meeting while we drove back to target.

We didn't have to get much. James was really excited they had the nail polish they really like but they haven't had anywhere for a year. I was frustrated that I couldn't find any of the things I had wanted. I got a different brand of body oil. We did get a cute glass candy machine that I'm going to keep thread in. And we got a second CO2 tank for the soda stream. It was a productive trip.

We left target and drove to the zoo! The plan was to just ride the train. And that was exactly as much activity as I think either of us could handle. We get free tickets to the zoo on October so we needed to take advantage of it one more time.

I loved seeing the prairie dogs again. One for really close and I got to watch him eat a leaf. Just peak male performance. Love a prairie dog.

We went through the victorian walk where all the old cages are. It's funny how much they say in all their signs that they don't have any animals in them anymore when they have multiple birds in them. Birds are the only thing that should be kept in those cages. The snowy owl seems happy in there.

It was busy at the zoo entrance. It was closer to 130 and all the school groups were on their way out. No big deal. They weren't taking the train so it wasn't busy over there. We got our ticket and while we waited we took kissy pictures.

The train was fun. I wish it went around more of the whole park but it was neat seeing the miniature long horns. Which are still 1800lbs but compared to a regular long horn at 4000 it is miniature. We also got to see a lemur in the walkway!! In all my time visiting this zoo I have never seen that! I also liked their spooky decorations and the train conductor gave a good little talk about stuff. Like spiders and bags and why they are important.

Once the train ride was done I asked James if they wanted to go look at anything. We went to the otters but no luck, plus the water was way way down. Maybe they go somewhere else when it gets cold? Or they were just inside. We did get to see the bats and I really enjoyed that. I should be able to see them with more light but also I know that's not fair to the bats. I was happy to see them as much as I could.

It was time to go though. We walked through the bird area but they still won't let you in because of avian flu. Still fun to get in the giant birds nests and feel cozy. James was surprised that I was able to easily get in and out of the orioles nest. I was surprised how big it was inside.

After we left the zoo we decided to go get a milkshake. James drove us to Hamden and we went to the charmery.

I decided on an otterbein sugar cookie milkshake and it was great. But we also tried the butternut squash and clove. Which was essential pumpkin pie but slightly different. I was unsure because sometimes clove just tastes like a candle but it was good so we got a pint to take home. This also filled up James's punch card! Neat! We get to spin the wheel next time we're there.

We headed home. And I was glad to be back. I was ready to rest. James would start the laundry and I worked on my charm collection project for an hour. They would go for a bike ride and I got cozy and laid down.

I wanted to nap but it did not work. So instead I just chilled and watched videos.

When James came back I would move to the living room. They would make me pasta and green beans for dinner and I trimmed my cuticles. I ate to much and my stomach hurt (and still does). James would go play DND and I took a bath. I used my the end of my body oil and it felt very nice. Let's hope the new brand is nice too.

We have been in bed for a while now. I am really ready to sleep. Tomorrow I have a Native American feildtrip. Sarah is helping me run it and I really hope it goes smoothly. I have to get things ready in the morning. She pulled all of the materials out but I need to run around and make sure it's all good. I think it will be fine but still. Nerves.

I hope you are all well. I hope you sleep tight. And feel good tomorrow. I love you all. Goodnight!

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theteasetwrites · 2 years

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I just finished watching twd’s final episode (ya i know im so late) aaand I totally agree with you. That episode was so rushed, everything happened so fast. As expected it was a total chaos.

I literally cried when Rosita died, I really wish it was Judith or RJ just to give Michone something to be guilty abt. Yaa I’m not a fan of Michonne and her leaving the kids to find Rick.

I loved the scene between Daryl and Carol in the end, it just showed how platonic their love for each other and nothing more people!

The explosion? UGHH.

The dinner after the explosion? Major cringe and very confusing, I mean not like they celebrated after the war with the Saviors? It just didn’t make sense.

And oh Maggie, my dearest. She deserves peace and happiness but I get her, if I were her I would’ve killed Annie so atleast we’re even.

Kinda disappointed. After 11 seasons we deserved a better ending. But hey, I am excited that Rick Grimes is back.

And yes, Daryl deserves a happy ending too. And thank goodness we have you to give him that! <3

Yeah it was very rushed, messy, lazy, and insulting. I mean it could've been a lot worse, but it could've been so much better if they had actually taken the time to make a good, well thought out last season instead of throwing in so many useless storylines. I mean the whole Reaper arc should've been thrown out. They could've used that time to delve into the Commonwealth stuff earlier. Also when they spent that whole episode in 11b focusing on Eugene trying to solve that mystery with Hornsby and Stephanie and all that shit... so ridiculous just give me 45 minutes of Daryl showering and I'll be happy

Anyway, Rosita dying was horrendously sad. I mean it was a beautiful death that was at least peaceful which is what she deserves, but it was still so sad. At least she died in the very last episode instead of in the middle of the series, so we got as much Rosita content as we could get.

I WISH JUDITH HAD DIED TOO HAHA. No fr what was the point of Judith getting shot if she wasn't going to die? Just to fuck with us? And to waste time? Seriously her getting shot was such a waste of time, it's insulting. She should've died and then it would at least have some payoff. But noooo they just had to do that stupid Carl/Rick parallel with Judith and Daryl. I rolled my eyes so hard man. It was just so lazy and they thought they were being so clever like ok get over urself besties

And you're so right, Michonne should feel guilty for leaving her kids! I mean tbh if Judith and RJ were my kids I'd probably abandon them too (not really lol) but yeah.

The Carol and Daryl scene was also pointless imo. I mean I guess it was cool if you like their friendship but I don't even think their friendship is that fun to watch lol so yeah. The "I love you" was definitely platonic but it read as more caryl baiting for the carylers.

That explosion was so ridiculous. How did they pull that off in a matter of a few hours? I was baffled. It was so weird and unrealistic lol. I mean I realize I am asking for realism in a show about zombies, but at some point realism is required for the show to make sense within the context, you know?

Everything was just way too convenient in that last episode. The explosion, Daryl just so happening to have the universal donor blood type (yeah fucking right), Judith surviving that gunshot wound, barely anyone in the main cast dying, everyone celebrating after destroying half the city and a ton of Commonwealth civilians dying... SUPER WEIRD.

Yeah the dinner was so cringey I'm sorry. It just felt so unearned and wrong. I mean they just faced a tragedy. Luke died hours ago and his group went from sobbing uncontrollably to laughing as they clink glasses at the dinner table like EXCUSE ME lmao. And once again, that huge explosion must've been super devastating to the structure of the city. How can the group be celebrating at a time like this? Also don't get me started on how EXHAUSTED they would've been after all of that, and yet they made a five course Thanksgiving meal in less than 24 hours after a really bad walker invasion??? And I know for a fact it was less than 24 hours later because Rosita was still alive and you can't live more than 24 hours with that fever from the bite. So stupid I'm sorry guys I wanna like it but I just can't.

MAGGIE SHOULD DEFINITELY KILL ANNIE HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

I totally agree my friend. Sorry for ranting but you made some great points that got me thinking about how irrationally mad I am at the finale lol. I just think it could've been so much better. And then after the one year time jump, it was way too saccharine and didn't match the tone of the rest of the episode or the season. I think that they still could've given them that happy ending without it being so colorful and bright and everyone smiling super big and idk it was just way too perfect and utopian looking. They could've done a way more nuanced thing that didn't make me feel as uncomfortable as it did lol. It was almost uncanny how saccharine the ending was.

Daryl is going to get the happiest ending of anyone in the series by the time I'm done with him in my series. He is gonna grow old with his wife and kids. He will know peace <3

#abbi speaks #twd season 11 #twd spoilers

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transgender-mothman · 1 year

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a ramble on Succession s4 e3

I have to talk for a second into the void about season 4 episode 3 of Succession. Spoilers ahead (I’ll tag em). Also, trigger warning because I am gonna talk about death, both on a personal level and how it is often depicted in film media. This will be long and I don’t expect anyone to actually read this, I just need to get it out. But.

That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to watch.

I am a horror buff, a consumer of extreme cinema, and am relentlessly morbid. I have seen some shit. I am radically desensitized. But hooboy, that episode of Succession hurt me like no other portrayal of death ever has.

It’s not that there was a death. It’s not that it was on a day that was supposed to be happy(ish). It’s that it is the most accurate portrayal I have ever seen on screen to what it feels like to suddenly lose a loved one, and a fantastic, almost antagonistic use of the show’s structure itself.

When someone you love dies, there’s a really strange disconnect from reality that happens where you’re simultaneously aware of what’s happening but it also feels fake. Time seems to slow down to this agonizing crawl, or stop altogether. Minutes of post-crisis events feel like HOURS. You either become intensely aware of your body, or completely removed from it, as you are in this slowed space.

And then time starts to move again around you. Things continue. And it is horrendously jarring, because you’re still in that limbo, but the world keeps turning and time keeps ticking and there’s this horrible feeling of injustice. How can the world still move on when yours is falling apart and ending? Why isn’t everyone else feeling this loss?

Usually when you see death in media, it’s portrayed in cliches. Swells of sad music, long pans, gentle sobbing, a look at the lost person’s face in a mask of peace or serenity. Everyone gathers together and has a cry. They’re all sad, the world is sad with them. But that’s not how it actually is--- at least not in my experience, and I’ve had A LOT of it (unfortunately; I have lost all my immediate family unexpectedly in my home, the most recent being a few months ago). The accuracy of this portrayal of the fallout hit me where I live.

The siblings are all stuck in that stopped time, and the phone calls and dead silences and denials go on for what feels like forever.... but then it all starts moving again around them after a bit. Statements are drafted. Press conferences scheduled. Board meetings proposed. Stock markets are analyzed. The business goes on. The world goes on. But they’re stuck in that crawl and can’t really comprehend, even when they’re being told directly, that things have to keep moving forward. The world does not end because a man died--- even if he was rich, powerful, and feared. He was, ultimately, just a man. And they are just his children. The world is big, and they are all so small, even if they didn’t think they (especially Logan) were until now.

Succession does this thing with handheld/shaky camerawork that serves to make the viewer feel like they’re IN the scene. In the first season, it was an annoyance to me (generally not to my taste). Second season, I warmed up to it. Third season, it allowed some delicious voyeurism; fly on the wall, watching the shit hit the fan, seeing first hand how the rich jerk each other around. But in this episode of season 4, it feels invasive. It is uncomfortable, it feels like you’re seeing things you should not be there to see. It’s so painful and private and presented in such a stark way. It is voyeuristic, but not fun anymore. It has flipped the script on you. You are here now, and while sure it was a good time before to watch the dominoes fall.... now it is intensely personal and slow and agonizing and painful, as if to say ‘well, you signed up for this, pal, so you’re stuck with it’. It is EXTREMELY effective, and a fantastic weaponization of the setup of the show. Oh how the turntables.

We’ve pretty much all known that Logan would die by the show’s end, that’s the whole premise. He’s had multiple close calls during the previous seasons. But the formula that is normal and accepted for these sorts of stories is that the death happens at the very end--- the last thing, the climax, the signal that we’re gonna be done soon. Everything will wrap up now that this conflict has passed and we’ll get our ‘where are they now’ kind of follow up or maybe a deeper, but still relatively short, introspection from the main characters still standing. Not so in Succession. Sure, it’s the final season. But the titan who has ruled and commanded over the entire series is dead and gone without the usual melodramatic fanfare--- and there’s still SEVEN episodes left. Seven hours is a large percentage of a show... 17.94% of the total air time. Almost 20 percent of the series is happening after Logan’s death. That is astoundingly against the grain and really throws you for a loop. How much shit is going to happen now?? Seven hours worth of it. That is a LOT. We don’t get a clean break. We still have a huge chunk of time to go, and we get to watch whatever happens next for better or worse.

The reactions of everyone involved in the story are so nuanced, varied, and often visceral. Ken is trying to hold it together for everyone else, and in so doing, standing alone. Shiv is a mess, turning to Tom (who is shellshocked and tender after witnessing the death and having to marinate in it) for comfort despite how broken their relationship has become. Roman is frantic and in denial, and when he does reach out for consolation, he is coldly rejected by Gerri, and is suddenly the shunned little boy who was sent to boarding school for weakness all over again. Connor is hit immediately with the gravity of a painful truth--- his dad never even liked him, he was always a nobody despite being the eldest child, and now there’s no more time for it to maybe change.... and the one person that is maybe there for him might now have the very real impetus to leave if the money is potentially going to dry up. Kerri is laughing uncomfortably, in shock, having an inadvertently glib response that makes some of the Waystar suits (including the hurting Tom) disgusted. And the suits themselves... well, there’s still money and jobs on the line. Business is business. It is all very realistic and decidedly not romantic or cinematic--- and it’s EXTREMELY painful to witness. And none of it felt cheap... despite it being a massive twist in terms of where Logan’s death happened on the timeline of the series, it still feels plenty earned.

This has been a grueling, taxing watch for me personally. It took the better part of 2.5-3 hours for me to clear the episode; I kept having to stop to collect myself, because I felt like I was suddenly back in the spaces in time where my own family had died and I was where the Roy kids are now. It was palpable. It was more upsetting to me than any horror or gore film I’ve ever sat through.

And that is absolutely spectacular storytelling. I am just as in awe of the execution of this episode as I am upset about it. Damn. What a punch. I’m terrified to see what happens next, and honestly, that’s a good thing. I welcome storytelling this intense and well done, even when it hurts. What a show. Godspeed, little Roys.

#succession #hbo succession #succession hbo #succession spoilers #connor's wedding #THIS IS ME RAMBLING about narrative structure and the portrayal and usage of death in media #tl;dr version is that this was probably the most viscerally realistic depiction of what it FEELS like to lose someone that i've ever seen #bravo and also I'm profoundly upset #tw: death

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charlieho1030 · 10 months

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youtube

[please help!] [four hounds #attack] Three weeks ago, at around 10:15 am on 29 October 2023, it was the darkest Sunday of my life and the lives of my whole family. It was the saddest day that four unattended hunter dogs mauled my beloved family kitten to #death and bit my mum’s hand in our front garden in Belle Vale Liverpool.

I was out picking up a supermarket grocery with my partner when I received a call from my niece in an extremely panic voice: Charlie (our kitten' s name) was dying and grandma was badly wounded. We rushed home and saw the #blood spilling all over our front garden pavement, our mum’s still #bleeding hand, and our terrified and deformed Charlie. We talked with our neighbours who were at the scene and they mentioned the [‼️four dogs ‼️] were seriously out of control and they ran away just before we arrived.

We were really shocked but our remaining consciousness brought us to drive our mum and Charlie to the walk-in centre and the emergency vets respectively immediately. While I was accompanying my mum seen by a doctor in the walk-in centre, my partner brought Charlie to the vets. Charlie was in a really bad condition, my partner passed the information to me through the phone, and I finally couldn’t stop my tears from pouring. My partner signed Charlie’s informed consent 💔 for a very expensive and extremely low chance of success operation, and I thought and still thinking if it was me I would do exactly the same thing. At the same time, the doctor at the walk-in centre said mum’s wound is too deep that she needs to be transferred to an A&E. My partner came to the walk-in centre to pick us up and we drove my mum to the A&E. After a few hours, when my mum was treated by the doctor at the A&E and when the vets called and said Charlie's operation was quite successful, we had the slightest hope that everything was going to be all right. My partner picked Charlie up and transferred him to a pets ICU, and picked mum and I up. Around 7pm, we had our first meal at home. There was no words between family members during eating. I know everyone was traumatised but didn’t want to show the sadness and make the others even more sorrow. #trauma

The next morning 6:30 am, my partner and I rushed to the pets ICU still with a slight hope because the doctor said Charlie had a few episodes during the night but now seems good. We imagined a thousand of times that if Charlie can survive we' ll buy him the best toys & food he like, and hug & kiss him every chance we have. 😭😭😭 We were too optimistic. Charlie's condition dropped off the cliff when we arrived and the doctor said Charlie was having a serious postoperative complications and he’s in a great pain. There was very slim chance that he could survive another operation and we had to euthanise him. He passed away in my arms so quietly 😭😭💔💔💔and the memories of every moments with him flew through our minds: the first time we brought him home, the fist time he jumped onto my legs when I was reading, our first Christmas with him, his first birthday… We brought him home, this time to bury him in our front garden.

‼️ If there are any possibilities, I would use my life to exchange my mum's safety and get charlie back! ‼️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

We talked with our neighbours again and wider community who of great help (which we will be grateful for our lives) and provided some very useful information which we start to put the jigsaws together. We have the CCTV footage of the whole incident that we are able to identify the dogs. We have neighborus who saw the dog owner who stood at the scene tens of metres but ran away with the dogs after the incident. [‼️He was THERE! And KNEW everything!]

‼️Please step up if you have any information that you think might help us. We are educated people and we just want a talk with the dogs owner and discuss a solution. There are beloved cats and dogs, and kids and elderly parents in the community, in other communities in Liverpool and in the UK. We just want to raise the awareness of people that if you really love your pets, be a responsible owners. If we all be responsible, we can prevent similar tragedies from happening again. Next time could be another elder people or young children‼️💔

‼️❣️Last but not least, can you please help us spread the word, and help identify the four dogs and their owners. ❣️If you recognise anything, can you please either contact with the #policeofficer: ❣️[email protected]; #police +44 151 777 4976；❣️or message me please? All info will be kept confidential. 🙏

Thank you so much for taking time on reading this and helping us. Truly grateful.

#dogattack #liverpool #hounds #death #help #merseyside #identify #beagles #dogbite #cats #injury #Youtube #foxhounds #bellevale #crime #JackRussellTerrier #dog bite #dog attack

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

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touch me

spencer reid x reader

Summary: Spencer is incredibly touch-starved and hard on himself since coming home from prison. Luckily, the medical examiner in this small town is really good at reading people, and exactly what he needs.

warnings: mentions of cases, insecurity issues, female reader, smut, blowjobs, riding, praise, emotional hurt/comfort. emotional sex, strangers to lovers, hook-ups,

word count: 5.8k

They had been in New Mexico for almost a week, solving a series of murders that seemed to have no end in sight. There was nothing they could do but go back to their hotels to sleep, hoping there’d be a connection in the morning.

Spencer and JJ were sharing a room as the small town hotel didn’t have accommodations for everyone that was visiting to help with the case. They didn’t mind, it was like a long sleep-over.

They did their own thing, kept their space and Spencer really did enjoy overhearing her on FaceTime with her kids. It was refreshing happiness in the middle of the madness murder sadness and despair they were swallowed by.

When his phone rang at 6 am, just shortly after he returned to his room for a quick rest, he sighed deeply, “Dr. Reid.”

“I’m so sorry to do this to you, but another body dropped and I need you to go to the ME,” Prentiss explained softly down the line. “It’s weirder than the other’s and you’re the only person who would be able to work it out with the examiner.”

“I’m on it,” he replied with a tightlipped smile. He hung up and looked over at JJ, already peacefully asleep on her bed. He closed the door softly on his way out, not wanting to disturb her any further.

At the other end of the hallway, Spencer stood and waited for the elevator. It seemed to be taking forever, everything he was doing lately dragged on and on with no end in sight. He was exhausted, still struggling with his PTSS, just all around not having the best time.

He was in the middle of rubbing the sleep out of his eyes when the elevator opened with an equally tired woman waiting inside. “Hi,” she said before covering her mouth to yawn, “sorry.”

“I get it,” he smiled as he stepped inside. “Lobby?”

“Yes please,” she smiled. “Are you here for the case too?”

“Uh, yes,” he answered softly, “I’m Dr. Spencer Reid, with the FBI.”

“Oh, hi! I’m Dr. Y/N Y/L/N, the medical examiner,” her face lit right up. “Agent Prentiss said you’d be joining me I just didn’t think this quickly.”

She was adorable, bubbly and happy in a way he envied. He missed the feeling of random giddiness, smiling at her as he felt the butterflies swirl in his stomach. “Do you need a ride? I have an SUV from the bureau.”

“Yeah,” her smiled got bigger. “That would be really nice.”

They walked closely together through the lobby and towards the parking structure, he hit the unlock button a few times while trying to figure out which SUV his keys matched to. Finally getting in and watching her climb in the passenger seat.

“Do you know anything yet about the body?” Spencer asked as he turned on the ignition.

“Yeah hold on,” she pulled her iPad out of her bag and started sliding through emails.

“Your tech girl sent me the initial police reports, witness statements and overview,” she began to explain. “Like the others, she’s a 25-year-old female, blond, blue-eyed, athletic.”

“Prentiss said it was a weird one?” Spencer added.

“They think she was embalmed before the unsub staged her,” Y/N added with a tone of disgust on her voice. “Do you have your tech girl’s number?”

“Yeah, hold on,” Spencer dug his phone from his pocket and dialled the number.

“Penelope Garcia, the 8th wonder of the world at your service,” she answered after just one ring. “How are you doing on this fine morning, my fine furry friend?”

“Not so hot,” Spencer replied. “I’m with the ME right now on the way to the body, she has a question for you.”

“Oh hello, ask away.”

Y/N was smiling on the front seat, enjoying the show they put on for her. “Um, hi I was wondering if you could look into anyone in this town buying embalming equipment, or if any has been stolen from the funeral home? This town is so under-resourced already, I don’t know where this guy could get this stuff.”

“Absolutely, I’ll add that to my parameters,” Garcia’s voice was lovely and soft. “I’ll call you back if I find anything!”

“She’s lovely,” Y/N exclaimed as Spencer place his phone back in his pocket.

“Yeah, she is.”

Spencer pulled into the morgue’s parking lot, the lights were all on and the Coroners van was parked by the loading doors. Inside there was just 1 officer, waiting beside a body bag as Spencer and Y/N walked in.

The officer gave them both a quick rundown of the crime scene findings, as well as information about where all the equipment was before leaving them to their work.

“Have you ever examined a body?” Y/N asked Spencer.

He nodded, “I’ve been present during a few, held some organs, but I’ve never done one myself.”

“They’re pretty gnarly,” She scrunched her face and giggled. “Let’s get you all geared up.”

She handed him a hairnet, a white plastic suit, goggles and a mask. “Gloves are on the wall, pick your size.”

He felt like a lunch lady standing beside her, taller than her by almost a foot, dressed in all white with a hairnet. He could tell she was smiling at him under her mask, her eyes gleamed up at him in a way that made his heart melt.

He had to remind himself multiple times that this was nowhere close to the time appropriate to want to flirt with someone. They were about to examine a dead body, and potentially solve a case. There would be time to flirt later.

But he was just so amazed by how she worked, being able to tell everything that was going on by just looking at the body. Making notes on her own and only occasionally explaining things to Spencer. In her own little world, solving the puzzle with expertise.

“The other 4 vics were just strangled and staged, dressed up and left in different areas around town,” she ran the case down more for herself, needing to hear the words to make a connection.

“Yes,” Spencer followed her train of thought, tilting his head as he listened.

“She was murdered, embalmed, staged and sexually assaulted. His MO is completely different and it’s only been 2 days since the last body dropped. I think he’s found his signature,” She explained her thoughts. “His sexual aspect comes out only when they’re dead and cold, we’re dealing with a necrophile.”

“While most serial killers start with small animals before moving on to humans, he started with women and then eventually grew to what he really wanted. That’s what we were missing,” Spencer’s eyes lit up.

“He’s a lot younger than you hypothesized in the original profile,” She added.

“You read it?”

She nodded, “yeah I like to know what you’re looking at to see if I have answers.”

“This is really going to help us,” Spencer smiled, his eyes mimicking hers now.

“I can finish up here if you want to go back to your team? I can get a cab,” She offered. “Go catch this guy.”

“Okay,” Spencer said, backing up from the table and taking his equipment off. Placing them in the hazmat garbage. “Are you sure?”

“Yes Dr. Reid, I’ll be fine,” She laughed. “Can I call you if anything comes up?”

He smiled again, “call me even if something doesn’t.” He dug a contact card out of his pocket and placed it on top of her purse. Waving as he walked out of the room.

—

He thought about her smile for the rest of the afternoon, leaving his findings with Prentiss before heading back to his room to sleep for a few hours.

He finally found his way back into the police department 5 hours later, coffee in hand as he tried to absorb all the new information. They had a lead, stolen embalming equipment from a funeral home a few towns over was reported 4 days ago.

He stayed back during the apprehension of the suspect. Simmons, Lewis and Rossi were closer and they didn’t think the unsub would be dangerous. No one was missing and he wasn’t expecting them, should be easy to get him to come in for some questions.

Much like the rest of this case, it didn’t go to plan. They found another woman in his home, having to shoot him in the process. Ending the spree, ridding the world of a necrophile. It just didn’t feel like justice was served when another person had to die.

Spencer sat on his bed, calming down slightly from the end of the case. Saving a woman, killing a murderer, it was all a lot to process in such a short time.

JJ was in her bed on the other side of the room, scrolling through Facebook as she looked at photos of her kids. It was a much easier way for her to calm down, remembering that she could go home to pure, unadulterated happiness at the end of a case.

They heard a small knock on the door, Spencer volunteered to answer, opening it only a small amount as he looked out.

“Oh, hi,” surprised to see Y/N behind the door.

“Would you like to come and drink with me?” She asked, holding up a bottle in her hand. “In my room,” she added.

“Yeah, yes um, hold on,” he closed the door on her softly.

“Who’s that?” JJ smirked at him.

“My friend,” he replied quickly, running to the bathroom to look at his hair and fix his shirt. “I’ll be back later.”

He grabbed his wallet, making sure he had a condom first, before opening the door only a small amount to slip out into the hall. Hiding Y/N from JJ as she tried to look out the door.

“Sorry, my co-worker and I are sharing,” he explained.

“It’s okay,” she smiled, heading towards the stairs. “I’m just a floor up, and the elevator takes a million years.”

Spencer held the door for her, watching her head up the stairs as he noticed the bottle in one of her hands and her shoes in the other. She walked up the steps in her socks, exhausted from the day.

“Did you get any sleep?” She asked him softly as she kept climbing the steps.

“A few hours, did you?”

“Yeah,” she laughed, “I woke up just before they called about the body this morning.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to just go to bed? You’ve been working for 12 hours,” Spencer worried for her.

She reached the door for floor 3, pulling it open with the hand she held her shoes in, “Sleep is the for weak.”

He laughed lightly, “do you want me to hold anything?”

“Here,” she handed him the bottle, “thanks.”

She dug the keycard from her pocket as he followed her towards the right door. Excitement bubbled in his chest as she opened the door and welcomed him inside.

It was exactly like his room downstairs, only there was just 1 queen bed and a few couches by the window. She set her things down on the bed, sighing deeply as she sat on the edge.

“Do you have any cups or mugs?” Spencer asked, reminding her that he was holding the alcohol still.

“Yeah, on the bar table over there,” she pointed. “I’m just going to change in the bathroom quickly, you can pour yourself a drink.”

“Okay,” he smiled awkwardly as he crossed the room.

She dug through her suitcase quickly. Spencer saw from the corner of his eye as she took out some shorts and a shirt, not even slightly worried about being so casual in front of a complete stranger.

He inspected the bottle, it was just a cheap scotch, nothing too special. He poured about an inch of the golden liquid into two cups, not a big fan of drinking but tonight he felt a little risky.

She came back looking more refreshed, very cozy, and still breathtakingly beautiful. He hadn’t felt this way about someone in a long time, the tightening in his chest as he wondered where the night was going to go.

Not to mention the longing he felt.

Even before prison, he wasn’t one to spend a lot of nights alone with a beautiful stranger. The added isolation in his life changed him on a fundamental level, he realized just how much he craved contact, and just how much he’s deprived himself over the years from both men and women. He just wanted to be loved properly.

He silently handed her one of the cups, smiling at each other softly as they tapped cups. Taking the whole drink, “oh, yep that was exactly what I needed.” Y/N’s eyes watered as her face scrunched up, coughing a bit.

Spencer felt the same, only being able to hide it a bit better. The burn was nice on his throat, it made him feel alive. “Did you want to order some food or anything or?”

She laughed, “that would be the smart and responsible thing to do.”

“Are you okay?” He asked softly.

She looked up at him, her shoulders dropping as she released the tension in her body. Looking into his eyes with care, it was so different from the way his co-workers looked at him. She didn’t think he was broken, she had to reason to believe he was even damaged.

“Yeah,” she smiled, placing her hand on his chest as she stepped in closer to him. “Do you like mushrooms on pizza?” She giggled, even this close to him with every opportunity to kiss him, she chose to just make him smile. Something that didn’t happen too often lately.

“I do, it’s my favourite topping actually.”

She took his tie in her hands and dragged him to the couch, “I enjoy topping sometimes too.”

She sat down on the couch and looked up at him, waiting for him to sit beside her. Patting the cushion beside herself while he swallowed sharply, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, making her smirk.

“I won’t bite Spencer,” she laughed finally. “I’m sorry if that was too much?”

“No,” he said, sitting down beside her quickly. “No, it’s fine honestly, I’m just not used to it.”

“Too busy with the FBI to find anyone to hit on you?”

He shook his head softly, pushing his hair out of his face. “I uh, I was framed for murder and in prison for 3 months. I haven’t really had a conversation with anyone I don’t work with in a while.”

“Oh,” she didn’t look surprised or scared. “That makes sense.”

“What does?”

“You’re soft,” she leaned in to press her hand against his chest once more, eye level with him now. Seeing his eyes dart from her lips to her eyes every few seconds as he licked his lips. “You don’t look like you want to hurt anyone, but something about your aura is changing. You know how to protect yourself now, and you’re stuck thinking you’re still in danger.”

“How can you tell all that just from looking at me?” He asked softly.

“If I showed up at any other man’s door with a bottle of alcohol and the offer of a night alone, I would have been pushed against that door the second we got here,” she explained. “You respect me, almost a little too much.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” His face was soft and curious and proving her point.

“You see me as a person, but I can tell you’re touch starved. Every time I get close to you, it’s like you don’t want me to move away,” her voice was barely a whisper as she leaned in even closer to him.

She could feel his breath on her face, her nose was close enough to brush against his as she stared at his lips, “but you won’t make the first move. You want to protect me from you.”

He nodded his head lightly before rubbing the tip of his nose against hers and making her smile. He let out a sigh, relaxing his shoulders as she straddled his lap, leaning him back against the couch. He bit the bullet and let his hands rest on her hips, looking at her softly in the hopes it was okay.

“Tell me?” She begged, holding his tie in her hands, running it through her fingers as she waited. “What do you want? What you miss? Let me be that for you,” she begged.

“Anything,” he finally tells her. “Just touch me.”

She loosened his tie, freeing his neck finally. She slowly undoes every single button on his shirt, untucking the hem from his pants as she opens it up.

Her fingers are warm on his skin, but he still gasps at the touch. Her fingers were so soft, like angel kisses as the pads of her fingers traced the skin. Gliding over every freckle, raking through his chest hair, bumping along the barely-there abs.

His thumbs rubbed against her bare thighs, where he held her lightly. “You can touch me too,” she whispered.

His hands travelled up to her waist, he gently pulled her in closer. No longer resting on his legs, but pressed close to his chest. Her hands landed on his shoulders, looking down at him with nothing but pure lust as her breathing hitched.

She cupped his face, gliding her thumbs along his cheeks softly as she stared at his lips. He opened his mouth to breathe, his bottom lip was plump and beautiful and she couldn’t help herself from rubbing her thumb over it.

He kissed her thumbprint before taking it in his mouth, sucking on it softly making her hips buck into his lightly. The suction on her thumb was more erotic than she expected, the feel of his hot mouth, his wet tongue swirling around it before he let her go with a pop.

She accidentally let out a moan that excited him, “like that?”

She immediately felt her heartbeat in her clit, she nodded feverishly. Suddenly at a loss for words, wondering where this Spencer suddenly came from.

“How far are we taking this?” He asked softly. “We can stop and order that pizza at any time?”

There he was, the soft and sweet man that she brought here in the first place. “Pizza is even better after sex,” she couldn’t stop the giggle from erupting from her, even as she bit her lip.

He smiled at her like she was the world. A complete stranger making him feel more than anyone had in the last year. “I’m going to need longer than it takes to deliver a pizza,” he admitted.

“Luckily they’re open late,” she compromised, leaning in and finally kissing him.

It was soft at first, then he pulled her in even closer. She was chest to chest with him as he breathed her in deeply. She melted into his grasp as if he had just stolen her soul right out of her body.

She was his now.

She kept his face in her hands, holding him as he broke the kiss to explore her jaw. Kissing every inch of her neck and chest as she gripped his hair, making him moan as she used her nails to comb through the long locks.

“Does that feel nice?” She cooed, running her nails along his scalp as he tilted his head back.

“My favourite thing,” he explained as he closed his eyes, letting her repeat the same motion again and again.

He looked so peaceful, running his hands over her back and sides softly as she massaged him. She leaned in and kissed his cheeks, the tip of his nose, both eyelids and his forehead.

He wanted her to touch him everywhere, her delicate touch made him feel worthy for once. Every self-hatred of his washed from his body as she explored him with care, care only one would receive if they were a most prized possession.

He felt loved.

It was overwhelming, he didn’t realize a tear had slipped down his cheek until she was wiping it from his skin. Shushing him softly before kissing him quickly on the lips.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, embarrassed.

“It’s okay, what’s on your mind beautiful?” She asked softly as she brushed through his hair once more.

“I just,” he looked in her eyes ever so innocently. “I’m not used to feeling cared for, no one pays attention to me this way.”

“That’s shameful,” she looked utterly perplexed. “Look at you? You’re gorgeous, you’re smart, you’re powerful. You’re kind and lovely and soft?”

“But I’m also weird and too much to handle,” he interjected.

“Not to me,” she corrected him. “this morning you could have said nothing in the elevator, you could have driven by yourself and awkwardly waited till I was finished my work. But you didn’t, you had a conversation with me, you helped me many times, you cared about me making it back here safely and you didn’t even know me. You’re a special kind of person Doctor Reid, and anyone who doesn’t see it is an idiot.”

He pressed his lips together in an awkward smile and furrowed his brow, “do you ever give out parts of yourself to everyone because you know how hard it is to feel appreciated?”

“All the time,” she laughed softly. “But not now.”

“Me either,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

“I’ll make you a deal, you tell me the worst thing you’ve ever done and I’ll tell you mine,” she offered. “Even the playing field.”

“How so?”

“Right now you think I’m super nice and kind right? And I just told you how I feel about you, but you hate yourself and outside of here I hate myself too. Share a secret, we can be fucked up together,” she smiled.

“In order to keep myself safe in prison, I poisoned a batch of heroin and almost killed a lot of people,” he responded without thinking.

“Okay,” she was a little shocked that he gave in so fast. “One time I stabbed a guy who tried to touch me after I pushed him off me twice already. He didn’t die, it barely even went in.”

“Both are technically self-defence,” he shrugged.

“See?” She smiled. “You’re not as bad and scary as you think you are. You’re smart and cunning.”

“Are you sure you’re not a therapist?” He teased her, “because this has been better for me than any therapy appointment I’ve ever gone to.”

She laughed again, kissing him softly. “I think it would be against the rules for your therapist to do this, I guess that’s why some men cheat.”

“How so?” He just liked listening to her speak.

“It’s easier to be open with someone you’ll never see again than it is with your therapist or wife because there are no consequences. They can’t judge you or hold anything against you, they do what you paid them for and they leave,” she explained herself.

“I’d like to see you again,” his voice barely a whisper. “If you’d like that?”

She nodded softly, “maybe I’ll move back to Virginia, finally.”

“Is that where you’re from?”

“Born and raised. I moved to Albuquerque with my girlfriend 5 years ago, and she left me about 2 years ago now,” Y/N explained. “I liked my job too much to move all the way back there and start over.”

“I can put in a good word for you where ever you want,” he offered before he could stop himself from looking too desperate.

“I’ll look into it,” she smiled.

He kissed the centre of her chest again before pulling her into a hug. Hearing her heart beating in her chest softly as she pressed her cheek to the top of his head and rubbed her hand over his back. Soothing him so completely, he felt beyond amazing.

And then she was gone, pulling back from him and standing up. “Wh-?” Before he could even ask, she was lifting her shirt off.

He stared at her breasts, eyes wide and jaw dropped. She walked over to the bar, taking another shot before she pushed her shorts down and climbed onto the bed. Completely naked in under a minute.

He stood then, pushing the opened shirt off his shoulders and immediately undoing his belt. He took a condom from his wallet before kicking off his shoes, dropping his pants and underwear to the floor and stepping out of them.

She was laying back against the pillows when he crawled over her, resting his naked body against hers ever so slightly. She just smirked as she looked up at him, “hi.”

“Hello,” he whispered.

“What do you want?” She asked.

“You.”

He kissed her softly on the lips, or at least he planned to. Y/N wrapped her arms around his back and pulled him down against her. Swiping her tongue across his bottom lip, begging to make out with him, finally.

Grabbing and tugging at each other as everything started to heat up, she could feel his erection against her leg as he ground down on her. Sucking on his tongue, lightly making him moan into her mouth.

His hair kept tickling her face, every time she’d push it away it would just fall right back against her skin. She pulled him off by his hair, gasping for air as they stared at each other again.

“Can I be on top?” She asked lightly.

He wrapped his arms under her, holding her close as he rolled over. Watching her settle more onto her knees as she sat on his hips. “Better?”

“Much,” she said as she sat up, taking a hairband off her wrist and putting her hair up. Raising her arms in a way that made her tits perk up. He reached up and cupped them, rubbing his thumb lightly across her nipples before giving them a squeeze.

She just laughed as she finished her ponytail, “having fun?”

“Absolutely,” he smiled up at her.

His hands followed the curve of her body, from her boobs to her waist and down over her hips. She was stunning, confident, everything he ever wanted and more.

She found the condom in the sheets, the bright purple packaging making it easy to see. She played with it in her hands, seeing how long it would take before he got desperate, but he never did.

“How long have you had this?” She asked, trying to tease him.

“Not long,” he was honest. “I just got out of prison, remember?”

“So you haven’t had sex since before you went in?” She looked excited.

“No, why?”

She smiled, “so I’m taking your free man’s virginity.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing?”

“It is now,” she giggled before leaning down to kiss him once more.

Trailing kisses down his neck, stopping only to suck a mark near his Adam’s apple. Hearing the sweet little gasps he made every time her tongue came in contact with his skin. She kissed his clavicle, his shoulder and down his chest. Making her way across his abs and over his lower tummy.

He gripped the sheets, not knowing what she had planned or where she was going. Spreading his legs, she kissed his groin, his right hip bone and the inside of his thighs. He couldn’t believe it, the way she explored him so delicately.

She ignored his cock for a while, kissing and sucking at any and all the visible skin she could find. He felt her smile against his thigh then, getting closer and closer before she took his cock in her hand and kissed the base.

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in, settling into the bed like water filling a glass, he was liquid in her hands. Her mouth was a blessing and she chose him to worship.

“Fuck,” he moaned as she took all of him as far as she could. Dragging her tongue along the shaft as she pulled back up. Swirling her tongue around the tip before taking him all the way in once more.

She pulled off with a pop, sitting up now with his dick still in her hands. She tore the condom open with her teeth, taking the package off and rolling it over him.

His dick bounced back against his stomach when she let go of it, hard enough that it had a mind of its own now. She bit her lip as she lifted herself over him more, setting herself down softly where it laid against him.

The head of his cock brushed her clit as she ground down on him, his hands found her hips once more as he instinctively helped her find a rhythm.

He could feel how wet she was, the way she glided over him so easily. Her breath hitching every time her hips bucked, she was enjoying herself. It made him even more excited. She leaned back down then, kissing his neck once more as she continued to push down on him.

“I need you,” Spencer gasped.

She smiled against his skin, lifting her hips enough for him to line up with her before she started to sink down on it. He watched himself disappear inside of her, feeling the way she took him in like he was always meant to be there.

“Fuck,” she gasped as she sat down fully, her hands resting on Spencer’s stomach as she tried to get used to it all. Listing herself up and down little by little to get the rhythm going again.

Spencer pulled her back in again, arching her back so she could bounce easier. She held him close, tucking her face into the crook of his neck as she started to move faster and faster on him. Hearing his breathing pick up as his grip tightened on her asscheeks.

She kept one hand in his hair as her other hand reached for her clit, pleasuring herself slightly the way she knew she liked it. “Jesus Christ,” she whispered against his skin as she fucked him.

It had never felt like this before, it was so personal for the first time. They worked together perfectly, not having to communicate at all, following the other person’s rhythm like a well-oiled machine with a task.

He felt her everywhere. Her hands in his hair, her lips on his neck. The way her hot breath tickled right under his ear as she tried to catch her breath against him. The way she pulled off him and sucked him back in, again and again, her breasts against his chest and her ass in his hands.

He couldn’t believe it. That a real human being cared about and appreciated him, even after learning his worst secret. She was special and different and everything he needed.

He could feel himself getting closer, wanting to savour every moment with her that he could. His hands roamed her back, over her shoulders and arms. He wanted to touch every single inch of her while he had the chance.

“I’m so close,” she whispered in his ear, kissing his cheek and resting her open mouth against his.

They weren’t kissing, they were panting over each other with their foreheads resting together. Euphoria filling the empty spaces between them as she came, gasping and shaking violently over him.

“Fuck,” he groaned, bending his knees and driving into her a few more times before he finished.

She tugged on his hair then, biting his bottom lip as she felt him twitch inside of her. Letting out the smallest gasps and whimpers as she pulled her hand out from between them and pushed herself off him.

Dropping her body against his, resting her head on his chest as they caught their breath.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her in a hug as he repeatedly kissed the top of her head. “Thank you,” he was still out of breath as he said it.

She smiled, laughing against his skin again as she hugged him back.

—

He woke up to the sun in his eyes and the feeling of lips against his skin. He blinked as gained consciousness, finding Y/N laying against his chest again. Her face in his heck where she was placing lazy kisses, trying to wake him up nicely.

“Good morning?” His voice was groggy and deep, it made her smile against his skin. A feeling he didn’t realize he missed so much during the night.

“What time is your flight back?”

“10:30, why?” He asked softly, rubbing his hand over her back softly.

She held him tighter, breathing him in deeply as she did so. Not wanting to let him go any time soon, “it’s 9:45.”

“Is it bad I’m hoping there’s a secret serial killer in Albuquerque?”

She laughed again, sitting up this time so she could look at him again. “Maybe I’ll come to visit my parents soon a find a reason to stay in Virginia?”

“I’d like that,” he smiled, pulling her into a kiss. Never wanting it to be the last one.

He waited till the last possible moment to finally peel himself out of her grasp, trying to find all his clothes and belongings from the night before

He kissed her quickly at the door before taking off down the steps and back to the room he was supposed to be sharing with JJ. He knocked on their door lightly, hoping to every god on earth she hadn’t left yet.

She opened the door and just stared at him with her mouth open, “oh my god?” She laughed.

“What?” He asked, completely oblivious to how he looked.

JJ dragged him inside, pulling him towards a mirror and pointing at his reflection. “What happened to you?”

His hair was a mess, he had hickeys all over his neck. His shirt was barely buttoned, definitely not untucked and he didn’t even have his shoes on. “oh.”

“Oh?” JJ couldn’t believe it. “Who is she?”

“Um, the ME from this case,” he explained, scratching the back of his head as he squinted.

JJ just laughed then, “hurry up and look somewhat presentable, pretty boy, the team is going to eat you alive for this.”

Sure enough, when he finally sat in his little corner of the plane with his glasses on and a hickey still visible above his collar, all eyes were on him. No one wanted to ask, they all just made it abundantly clear that they were curious.

Alvez even took a photo to send to Penelope, who sent it to Derek, who texted Reid only 20 minutes into the flight asking who she was. He rolled his eyes and put his phone back in his pocket. About to get really pissed when a second text came in.

555-0623: if you’re still serious about that recommendation, there is a spot available at the DC medical examiner’s office… I’d probably be closer to you than your therapist’s office 💋

He smiled then, saving her number and starting his letter.

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds imagine #one shot

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ggukkiereads · 3 years

Note

Hewwooo!!! Do you have any fic recs where the boy is the piner one? and oblivious!oc or something like that... it's always the other way around 😣😣 thank you so much!

🌷 Hello anon! These are what I remember.. Strangely most of them are part of my #holygrailfics which I marked with a carrot 🥕 But, everything is a must read 🥰

UNREQUITED LOVE AUs - Member!Pining

💔 Most of the stories will eventually achieve redamancy. There are just few fics here where it’s unrequited all throughout

Re: Untitled @to-star-lake - Jungkook 🥕

↳ Arranged Marriage, Childhood Acquaintances, Enemies to Lovers, CEO/Executives, Angst, Smut, Fluff [4/4][

This is really one of my favorite discoveries 🥰 At that time there wasn’t much info or even comments on the fic so if you’re not as daring to try fics out, it’s easy to assume it’ll be just a regular story. But I'm glad my curiousity won because this is such a gem. It was painful and lovely unpacking all the discoveries in their relationship (or lack of) per chapter 🥰. I swear the plot “twists” per episode made the fic extra memorable.

Frost Impressions @fortunexkookie - Jungkook 🥕

↳ Teacher AU, Gamer AU, Simultaneous (One-Sided) Enemies to Lovers, Best Friends to Lovers, Idiots to Lovers AU, Humor, Tooth-rotting Fluff, Smut, Heavy Pining, Slight Angst [one shot]

ugh this just puts a smile on my face every time I remember this. I was just thinking about this Jungkook the other day. OC is oblivious because, well, they have this E2L thing going on. Plus he didn’t exactly give a great FIRST IMPRESSION. So many AUs thrown in but author was able to squeeze it all and produce this masterpiece. It’s just a feel-good fic 🥰

Love So Shallow @jimlingss - Taehyung 🥕

↳ Best Friend AU, College AU, eventual Roommate AU, eventual Pining [3/3]

also one of the best written OCs in fic land. Please read this gem. I still gush over how their relationship developed and you’ll see how the “pining” develops too. It’s a great Love Yourself theme too!

Paper Cranes @aquaminwrites - Taehyung 🥕

↳ Slice of Life, Childhood Friends, Best Friend AU, College [one shot]

Ugh my heart ached for this Taehyung. I don’t know why I feel bad for him (I mean, it wasn’t as if he was to be pitied) but the way author wrote his story is guaranteed to pull at your heartstrings.

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The Key to My Drawer @jjungkookislife - Taehyung 🥰

↳ Best Friend AU, Childhood Friends, Epistolary (letter form, some parts), Angst, Smut [12/12]

I was just thinking about this the other day because we’re just waiting for the last chapter/epilogue and then I saw the notif on ao3 that it got updated. What do you do when you get hold of a key to a drawer and discover unsent letters from your best friend? All addressed to you? It’s such a creative way to tell a story and I enjoyed this very much 🥰

(please access the rest of the chapters through the author’s masterlist)

Please Be Naked @floralseokjin - Yoongi 🥕

↳ Rebound AU, OC is Namjoon’s Ex, Namjoon is Yoongi’s ex-friend [8/8]

“you were still a little unsure why he and your ex....had bad blood.” of course we all want to tell OC why! Seriously, this is a classic if you haven’t read this yet. Yoongi’s just top-tier in this. Unforgettable characterization. Even if you are not into Yoongi fics, this is a must read for bts fics in general. The angst/smut is just 👌; then read the drabbles for the fluffy future

One Thing Right by hobios - Jungkook 🥕

↳ Arranged Marriage AU, Fake Marriage AU, Childhood Friends AU, Enemies to Lovers, Police Office AU, slow burn [8/8]

So I am adding this to every fic rec list because like RE: Untitled, there’s a lot of discoveries in this fic. It’s always a question why Sheriff Jeon will agree to a marriage of convenience (I mean he’s committing fraud in a way). So it’s wonderful to discover a lot things about their story since they had a falling out.

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Roses, Poetry, and Jeon @seraphimguks - Jungkook ⭐☕💌

↳ bookstore au, enemies to lovers-ish?, fluff, slight angst [one shot]

This is just so beautiful and it is like curling up by the window on a rainy day with a warm hot chocolate. I think in my review I said the shift to Jungkook’s POV is like seeing poetry in action. Must read and instantly a favorite of mine

Tinder 2.0 @tayegi - Jungkook 🥕 🔥

↳ sex app/room, Coworker, Enemies to Lovers, Crack, Smut [one shot]

This is kind of different from the rest of this list because it’s more crack and smuttier. The pining is not as intense but it’s there. Please give this a read too.

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Fluff and Smut @jinggabitch - Jungkook

↳ smut, porn star JK, OC is a fluffer, one-sided pining [drabble]

Porn star JK is in love with his fluffer. - I remember reading this months ago and I found it so cute. Though it’s just a drabble, which means the story didn’t continue on, I got invested in this JK and hoped he gets what he wants.

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Bad Influence Collection @noteguk - Jungkook ⭐🔥

↳ FWB AU, Enemies to Lovers, Enemies with Benefits, College, Bad Boy AU, Smut [4/?]

please click the link to the masterpost so you’ll access the very first story. Maybe it didn’t start out pining at first but the recent chapters we see Jungkook getting so affected over OC (it’s mutual but I feel at this point its more JK trying so hard not to show heart eyes 😍). Ugh, the joy I feel whenever this gets updated. Still ongoing but better start on this since some chapters are over 10k+ wc.

Hot Enough @soft-sarcasm - Yoongi ⭐🔥

↳ College AU, Fuckboy AU, FWB AU, Yoongi caught feelings (kind of Unrequited AU), Smut, Angst [one shot]

I’ve read years this years ago and when I decided to officially have a blog, it took me months to find this. It’s just memorable because usually it’s the female catching feelings in a friends-with-benefits scenario. But here, OC actually rejected him (that’s the start of the story). Please read and find out what happens next.

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First Love @jungnoir - Yoongi

↳ bestfriend au, OC about to get married

so this is sad at first because it’s only hours away from her wedding but read until the end 😍

Not Yet + Almost @bratkook - Jungkook

↳ neighbor AU, kinda fake boyfriend (on the spot) to annoy OC’s Ex [2/?]

ahh this is cute. I shouldn’t be smiling at Jungkook’s pain but it was just so cute. It’s more of mutual pining though. The first drabble is more on JK’s while Almost we get to see OC’s thoughts. So, I guess in the third???

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Pining 101 @guklvr - Jungkook

↳ hospital au, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, humor, fluff [drabble series]

a collection of drabbles based on pediatricsurgeon!jk dealing with his crush on generalsurgeon!reader. Read if you’re looking for something light and humorous.

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Sidekick @bananagukkie - Jungkook

↳ superhero au, best friend au, fluff [one shot]

You didn’t realize that your best friend was in love with you or the fact that he was Busan’s “newest” hero.

Lifting the Veil @/fortunekookie - Jungkook 😭

↳ real unrequited love/pining, friends to lovers, smut, angst [one shot]

so yeah I guess read this first because it sure is angsty then read other fluffy fics (like Pining 101 or Frost Impressions)

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Requiem @cinnaminsvga - Jungkook

↳ pretend confession!au, angst [drabble]

Jeon Jungkook loves you. You love someone else. He lets you say “I love you” to him, if only so that he gets to hear it once in his life. - so yeah, let’s cry about it 😭

Unveil @nijoonie - Jimin

↳ Arranged Marriage, Childhood Friends to Lovers

angsty tones in the beginning. Jimin is such a dear 🥺

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Best of Me @/floralseokjin - Jimin

↳ Best Friend AU, OC just got heartbroken, angst

ugh just angst all over. The ending is hopeful but still sad?

Piece by Piece @underthejoon - Seokjin x Reader x Hoseok ⭐

↳ bestfriend au, fwb au, love triange, a collection of drabbles where your love life is muddied up by two men – the one you love and the one that loves you. Smut, Angst [drabble series]

if you are not into love triangles, I think this will, well not change your mind because some people strongly dislike love triangle themes, but it’ll make the LT themes bearable. The writing is just beautiful and actually I’ve reblogged this for Hobiuary Day (one day I was on Hobi lockdown just reblogging purely favorite Hoseok fics) but I haven’t written a review or reaction yet. Read and explore their relationship dynamics 😭🥰

🌷 so, I don’ recall a Namjoon fic where he’s the one pining (usually it’s the OC).

I had a great time recalling scenes from each fic (and what made the pining so angsty) 🥰. So, please enjoy!

#🌷 chats #anon #bts unrequited love #bts mutual pining #bts fic recs #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts angst #ggukkiereadingcollection #jungkook x reader #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #jimin x reader #jungkook fic recs #taehyung fic recs #yoongi fic recs #jimin fic recs

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fanficbitch · 3 years

Text

BFF // Aaron Hotchner

“Look what I found!” you say, nearly yelling as you burst into your shared bedroom with Aaron.

He’s reading his book and jumps a little in seat right as you came in the door. He looks a tad annoyed, but he’ll get over it. “Where have you been?” Aaron asks. You assumed he would be wondering. You did disappear after dinner for nearly two hours with out as much as a ‘goodbye’.

“Your storage unit,” you say as you plug the enormous block into the outlet.

Aaron lets out a stiff laugh. “There could be anything in there,” he says.

“But look!” you shout as you hold the old piece of technology in front of him. Technically, it’s your old flip phone. The one you used right as you started working at the BAU. Shortly after being there, Penelope convinced Aaron to upgrade your phones for “work purposes”.

Aaron glances from you to the phone, you to the phone. “It’s an old cellphone?” he asks.

“Not just any old cellphone,” you say as you settle in bed next to him. Luckily the cord reaches pretty far and allows you to lay in bed comfortably. “My old cellphone,” you say which gets Aaron’s attention.

“How old are we talking?” he asks as he wraps an arm around you which lands on your waist.

“Like when I started working at the BAU old,” you say and the screen illuminates. “Ahh! It’s charged!”

Aaron lets out a laugh. “I’ve never seen someone get so excited over an old phone,” he says.

“C’mon, it’ll be fun,” you say. “Let’s start with pictures.”

Even though the photos are in horrible quality, it is easy to tell it is from a crime scene. “I can see your phone is filled with happy memories,” Aaron says which causes you to smack his chest.

You go to your text messages and one of the most recent recipients is Aaron. “Wow, look, at this point you’re still ‘Hotch’ in my phone,” you say. You open your messages between each other, but it’s pretty bland. “We had some exciting conversation. Hotch: ‘when are you coming in?’, me: ‘in the elevator.’. That was really sexy,” you giggle.

Aaron’s hand suddenly comes from behind you and snaps the phone shut. “What are you-,” you start to ask.

“I don’t like looking at those,” he frowns. “It reminds me of when I was so unhappy.”

You turn in his arms and brush back some of his hair. “Well look where we are now? That stuff is all just a funny memory,” you say then lean in for what you think will be a short kiss. However, Aaron grabs your waist and pulls you closer to his body.

You move so you are straddling his lap while his hands dance up your back. The kiss lingers on for a few moments before Aaron pulls away. “You know what?” he asks and you tilt your head, listening. “Those texts also remind me of how thankful I am for you. That person all those years ago was sad and broken, but you found someway to put me back together.”

All you can do in that moment is kiss him. When he pulls away he has one final thing to add. “You know you’re my best friend, right?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah, I know,” I whisper then continue kissing him. This continues for a moment before he pulls away again.

“You know this is usually the part where you tell me that I’m your best friend too,” Aaron smiles.

“But you’re not my best friend.”

Aaron’s eyebrows wrinkle in confusion. “Alright, who is then?”

“Derek,” you say as you roll off of Aaron. However, he quickly pulls you back into him by your waist so he can whisper in your ear.

“Any chance that spot is up for grabs?” he asks.

“Possibly. To the right person,” you smirk. Aaron positions himself on top of you then throws off his shirt.

“Oh, I’ll show you I’m the right person,” he says then begins kissing your neck which sends you into a fit of giggles.

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angellissy · 3 years

Note

Hey :) I’ve never requested anything before so I’m sorry if i do it wrong hahah

But could I request something where instead of ward faking his death it’s rafe who has to do it and none of the pouges know about your relationship until it’s you crying in the dock instead of Sarah. And when you and the piggies go on the “rescue” mission to get Sarah off of the boat you see rafe and eventually end up staying with him and leaving your friends

I’m sorry if this is really long xx thank you for taking the time to read my request

R E A C H I N G F O R T H E S U R F A C E

SEASON TWO SPOILERS!

rafe Cameron x Reader

warnings: angst with a big a, canon rafe (maybe a bit softer), toxic relationship, rafe playing the victim card, death and talks of suicide.

a/n: I feel like it is of importance that I tell you all that I have done everything in my power not to romanticize the rafe cameron character and if I have then please kindly let me know because sometimes it can be hard. However I still need to say that I am writing through the eyes of the “reader” who very much still cares for this boy, which also means that the way the reader deals with things might not have been your way. If any more warnings should be included in the beginning, feel free to let me know. I hope you enjoy this fic which I am actually very proud of. A big thanks to @snkkat who is my proof reading buddy. Also thanks for sending in the request, I LOVED writing it! <3

They say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes, but how about when you watch someone else die? For as you watched him die, the life and moments the two of you had shared flashed before your eyes like a string of reminders of a life and love lost. It felt as if there was no air for you to breathe, you weren’t even sure how long it had been since you managed to take a full breath. Your mind was running in circles, trying to grasp what had just occurred, replaying the scene over and over again until you were not even sure what reality you were in. With a hammering heart and a split soul, you were kneeling on the dock, just minutes after watching your first love take his own life. You could not even remember how you had gotten out here in the first place, you just wished that you would have stayed behind as all your friends rushed toward a disaster in waiting. Perhaps that would have spared you some of the heartbreak, spared you from hearing him scream that he loved you one last time, spared you from seeing his boat go up in flames. But no, you were sure that for as long as you lived, you would see that blazing inferno whenever you closed your eyes.

There were arms around you, an attempt to soothe your shaking body, it only made you feel more trapped in a memory you would never escape. Those arms lifted you up and suddenly you were walking, mixed in all the anger and sadness there was a surprise that your body was even able to function. It felt as if you were outside of your body watching everything occur, you watched as Kiara and JJ helped you sit down on a sofa and as they draped a blanket over your shoulders. You watched it unfold, but you couldn’t feel it and there was no way that you would be able to respond to their worried questions. Instead, you were stuck in a mind that replayed everything Rafe had ever said or done to you as if that somehow could manifest him back to life. That stuck-up boy with the golden hair had been your first boyfriend, complicated as the relationship may have been, it had been the first time you ever experienced something close to love. Just days ago you had stood before him, tears in your eyes and heart in your throat as you called the relationship off. For a very long time, he had not been the boy you fell for, but rather a ghost of who he once was. Where he had once been sweet and tender with you, there had only been cold stares and words sharp enough to cut through ice. You were not oblivious to the fact that he struggled with issues you could never comprehend, but you refused to be an accomplice in his undoing. Time after time you had tried to be the person he could cling to when the world sat heavily upon his shoulders, but you soon realized that love and affection could not solve all problems. Oh, and you had loved him so much that you would have done anything for him to smile at you the way he had when he uttered those big three words for the first time. He had watched you with eyes that held so much adoration that you thought that they would never dim, that they would shine brighter for each time his eyes found yours. But eventually, they had dulled, and so you had realized that you would not sacrifice yourself no matter how much you cared for him. It did not matter that you had called things off with him or that you had decided to leave him in order to save yourself, for the knowledge that he was actually gone made it feel like someone was clawing at your heart and trying to rip it apart. It felt like no time in the world would be able to heal the pain in your chest or dry the tears falling from your eyes.

Time was indeed a funny thing, how seconds turned into minutes and how then those minutes became hours. Hours that you spent reminiscing over a life you thought you had given up before it was lost forever. You clung to the memories of him as if they were the lifebuoy keeping an anchor from pulling you down in a sea made up of your own sorrow. You knew that you were staying in your own made-up memories of a relationship with more bad times than good, but a part of you felt that you could not grieve the person he had become. For he had been vile and horrid, and if you acknowledged that, you would feel guilty for the sadness overwhelming you. So yes, you stayed in your made-up reality and wept for the boy that could have been. As hours turned into days, your friends made every effort to comfort you and try to get you out of the room that had become your place of mourning. Their tries aggravated you, for they did not understand the feelings rushing through your body at such speed it made you lightheaded. Each one of them had hated Rafe Cameron with at least one bone in their body and you knew how some of them had looked the day he died as if they were content that he was finally gone. Relieved that he could no longer plague them with taunts and threats that might have become reality was it not for his passing. You might have understood this, had it not been for the grief and guilt plaguing every bone in your body.

As days turned into weeks, you eventually came to appreciate their efforts to help you. It was like your vision was starting to clear and you could finally start trying to live your life again, and the first step to doing that was always to surround yourself with people that made you roar with laughter. Their ventures to try and find the Cross of Santo Domingo, were helpful, to say the least. Those adventures were as distracting as they were terrifying since the outcome was never given. Your mixed friend group of pogues and kooks had actually found that damn cross as well. Who would have thought that a bunch of high school kids would be able to find a historic relic? The answer would have been no one, and that is why you don’t underestimate kids with no limits. The cross had been in your grasp until a greedy and manipulative Ward Cameron came along and grabbed it. Ever since that particular happening, things started going south fast and it all ended up with Sarah being kidnapped by her own guardians. It also ended up with the rest of you stowed away like cargo on the ship she was on. While John B and Pope carried out their plan to find Sarah and the famous cross, you, JJ, and Kie sweated from every pore as you waited to hear from them. You had zoned out, staring mindlessly into one of the walls of the container, in the background you could hear your two friends talk about their dreams for the future. Something about going on several surfing trips at various destinations with each other, and that part made your heart ache. Sure, after everything he had done, a future with Rafe had not been one of your dreams. Still, as you listened to your friends talk, you could only remember a time where he had been everything you wanted in life. You pressed your palms upon your face as if you somehow could force every memory of him to remain in that little part of your brain where you were hoping they would become forgotten. A loud clank dragged you out of your thoughts and you looked up just in time to see Pope and John B climb in through that small window opening, followed by a woman you had never ever seen. Shortly after that, problems started to arise and soon all of you were scrambling out of the container in hopes of not being detected by the workers on the boat. They were in obvious search of all of you, which made you sweat even more than you had done inside the container. All of you received different plans on how to tackle the situation, yours was to act as a lookout for John B as he searched for Sarah.

You followed him down to what you could only assume was the boiler room since steam was thick in the air and you took your place by the door as he ventured further down. His desperate cries for Sarah echoed through the room and you dearly wished for a response to be heard, but there was nothing except the sound of his shoes against the floor. Thump, thump, thump and then utter silence until John B utters a name that made it feel as if the floor was pulled away from under your feet.

“Rafe.”

One of your hands finds the doorframe, a poor attempt to steady yourself as you try to figure out if this is a trick played by your grieving mind. You take a few breaths and as the silence is once again interrupted by two raised voices, you follow John B’s path down into the room. The heart in your chest is beating so hard that it feels like you are going to throw up, and it only gets worse the nearer you come. At first, you only see your friend, but then you look past him

and

your

heart

stops.

Rafe Cameron had died in front of your very eyes, so either the gods were playing a nasty cruel joke or you had lost the battle with your mind. You shut your eyes just to open them again, and no matter how many times you did it, he still remained. What happened next was a bit peculiar to you, for weeks you had drowned in grief where sadness was the constant emotion, but as you looked him in the eye and saw that he was very much alive, rage and anger crushed into you with the force of a thousand waves. You stepped toward him, only for an arm to shoot out to stop you, and John B added to his gesture by saying “Don’t”. Laughter bubbled in your throat, for who was he to tell you what you could or could not say to your “dead” ex-boyfriend who seemed to never stop causing you grief.

“Find Sarah.” John B hesitated for a few moments before following your unspoken order to leave you and Rafe alone. It wasn’t surprising considering that his worry for Sarah would always overpower anything else. Once again you looked into Rafe’s blue eyes, remembering a time when you used to stare in them for so long you would see specks of green and grey. Had you searched for those colors now, you would probably have found them. However, you were trying to decipher whatever feeling that was shining in them, was it anger? No, his other features were too soft for that and the hand holding his weapon had gone slack as he watched you. Maybe it was relief? No that was not it either, for why would he be relieved to see you? You were not the one who had died and left the other behind. You stepped even closer to him, the simmering anger inside of your veins made your hands shake and he looked at them briefly as if he wanted to take them in his. Your hands clenched into fists and you watched as his shoulders dropped the tiniest bit, and suddenly you knew exactly what was shining in his eyes.

Love, and sadness. Your heart started to speed up again, and you knew that once you opened your mouth, the anger and grief that had become part of you, would tumble out in words that you would never be able to take back. But he had done something much worse, so he would listen, you would make sure of it. Your lips parted slightly and he must have seen it for his words came first.

“I- fuck I am sorry okay? But I had to do it, you wouldn’t understand but I had to do it, it was the best for everyone.” As he says this you can’t help the sound that slips through your lips, it was supposed to be a laugh but it sounds more like a sob. His eyes flicker between you and everything else in the room as if there was anything in here that could save him for this conversation. You move your hands toward your chest and his eyes watch as you press them hard against your chest, against the heart that won’t stop breaking.

“Best for everyone?” Your voice is the combination of a whisper and a ragged breath “Did you have my best interest in mind when you let me believe you had blown yourself up?” He winces and makes an attempt to say something but you hold up a hand to stop him. “Did it ever occur to you how your little stunt would affect the one person who still, despite everything, loved you?” This time, your voice has started to rise towards something like a scream, and how could you not scream when there is so much sadness inside of you that it felt like just looking at him would turn your body into a pool of water.

“You broke up with me, so don’t start acting like a victim where you aren’t one.” His features are starting to morph into those he carries when anger overcomes him, but you will not back away from this. Your hands are in your hair, pulling at it as if that would help you make sense of this situation. “You broke my heart long before I broke yours.” You can’t help the way your voice breaks or the tears that start falling from your eyes.“You needed and still need help and until you receive that help, you are prone to hurt anyone in your vicinity.” Now it is his turn to drag his hands through his hair and his breaths come faster and faster until you realize that he is starting to hyperventilate. He sinks to the floor and you follow, not sure how to help when it feels like his state is mirroring your own. With cautious movements, you place your hands on his shoulders, and the shaking of his body sends trembles throughout yours. For a while nothing happens, you just sit there with your hands on his body and watch him fall apart. Perhaps you should have been glad that he was suffering, after everything he had done to you he deserved it. But you couldn’t feel anything other than anguish and as a sob escaped his body every restraint you had kept on yourself broke and you hugged him towards your chest. You could never save him, but he clung to you as if you had the power to undo every wrong he had ever done. After a while, he looks up at your tear-streaked face and one of his hands reaches up to cup it. You want to look away because you can see everything in those eyes of his, every regret and every wish he has ever had. His forehead leans towards you and you feel his hot breath against your skin. As you breathe in the scent of cologne and feel his skin against yours, you feel overwhelmed by the fact that he is actually here. You notice that his lips part and for a second you are scared that he is going to kiss you, but he must know that there is a limit to your patience with him so he just whispers words with the promise of what could have been. “I wanted to be good for you.” A small smile takes place on your lips and you close your eyes as you try to restrain the well of emotions inside of you. “I know Rafe, I know.” He breathes out a little, almost as if he is relieved that you are aware that he tried in a world and with a mind constantly working against him. You knew, but you also knew that there was someone else out there for you. Someone who would love you in a way that Rafe would never be able to, in a way that would not send the two of you to the bottom of the ocean. Whoever was out there would make you swim. For so long you had wanted to believe that Rafe was the one, despite all his flaws you would have given anything for him to be your future. It was a relief to know that you could and deserved to have more. But you also knew that you needed to do something before that could happen.

“I will stay-.” Before you could even finish your sentence he whipped his head up to look at you with such hope you never wanted to continue talking. You swallowed hard and forced yourself to go on. “I will stay with you just to make sure you receive the help you need.” His whole body deflated and you had to bite your lip in order not to cry again. Eventually, he nodded and you closed your eyes in relief. You knew that this had to be the right move, no one else would listen to him or make sure he got help, so you needed to be the one to did. Just enough so that you finally could start swimming towards the surface.

#rafe cameron imagines #rafe cameron headcanon #rafe cameron x reader #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x oc #rafe cameron x you #drew starkey #outer banks x reader #outer banks #outer banks season 2 #outer banks imagine #obx #obx season 2 #obx spoilers #obx fanfiction

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asweetprologue · 3 years

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Nili’s Benchmark Geraskier Fic Rec List

hey yall! I officially hit 750 followers (a few days ago, I blew past the benchmark without even realizing!), which is... insane. I truly can’t believe that so many people over the last year have enjoyed my presence in this fandom enough to continue to follow my work. you guys are so great and I love you all so much, so I decided to put together a gift for you!

this is a list of my favorite geraskier fics from the fandom, which I have been putting together over the last year or so. a few of these are big in the fandom, but a lot of them are smaller pieces that I feel deserve more attention! I have provided ao3 and tumblr links where I could find them, as well as ratings and summaries. Most of these are canon!verse because I’m not personally a big fan of modern au’s, but there will be a few of those scattered throughout as well. I’ve divided the fics into two sections: oneshots and multichapter. See the list below the cut!

Being in this fandom truly has gotten me through the pandemic in a big way and I have made so many good friends while here. thank you all for validating my weird obsession with these characters and enabling me in these trying times <3

Oneshots

all that was good, all that was fair (all that was me is gone) | M | 7517 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions Of Violence | @xdandelionxbloomx

Somewhere, deep in a forest, a man drags himself from his grave by sheer power of will. He lies gasping on the forest floor and does not know who or what he is. The world is wide and wonderful, though, and there is so much to see.

Or, Jaskier is so stubborn that he literally comes back from the dead.

Another fascinating addition to the mythology of the Witcher. Jaskier’s slow rediscovery of himself is so well done here. One I’ve come back to again and again.

As Fast As Love Can Go | T | 9628 | @bygodstillam

There are Faeries in the Wood.

That's what everyone said, at least, not that there was any solid proof. Jaskier had tried, more than once, to find some. Just a hint somewhere, of a real story, of real magic. But all anyone seemed to have was stories.

Jaskier was determined to find proof. He wasn't expecting to find a witcher in the process.

Fascinating fic with some really interesting worldbuilding, and a fresh new take on True Love’s Kiss. Also with some great art by @hehearse!

beautiful, he stirs up still things | T | 2575 | @alittlebitmaybe

“You’re not asking me to dance,” says Geralt.

Jaskier turns his palm up on his knee, offering it. “I think you’ll find I am.”

Just them dancing. This is a lovely sort of pre-relationship dynamic. So soft.

Dialogue Prompt | NR | 2932 | @reinvent-and-believe

Dialogue Prompt 48: “You make me want things I can’t have.” Wordless I-love-you 50: buying them a special treat when you go out shopping

Geralt gets Jaskier a gift, which prompts some confessions.

Even a small love | E | 22,272 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con

“Well,” Jaskier replies distractedly. “Lots of things want to strangle you.”

“You don’t.”

It isn’t a particularly troublesome accusation, or even necessarily an accusation at all.

This is one I read early on in the fandom, and it really stuck with me. The dynamic between Jaskier and Geralt is perfect, and the misunderstandings between them feel so realistic. The non-con is not extreme, but do mind the warnings.

For the Space of a Heartbeat | T | 2021 | @drowningbydegrees

As it turns out, falling into bed with your very best friend who you are privately very much in love with isn't nearly so nerve wracking as waking up with them the morning after.

Just sweet, morning after discussions. I love to see them talking for once.

Greensleeves | T | 10,414 | @rebrandedbard

When Geralt crosses paths with Jaskier in the spring, the world is dressed in green. Quite literally. Everyone everywhere is wearing green, and it all comes down to a song Jaskier has written that, to his mortification, has become popular throughout the Continent. It's torment, being forced to preform the song over and over again and have his heart broken anew. But who is this Lady Greensleeves the people say Jaskier is so maddeningly, heartbrokenly in love with? At the baron's wedding party, Geralt is determined to find out.

This is one of my personal faves - there’s just something about Jaskier’s feelings being put on blast while Geralt remains totally oblivious that I think is so very them. And the resolution at the end is delightful.

I Don’t Wanna Fall (If It’s Not In Love) | E | 13,902 | @writinglizards

The first time it's out of desperation. Things get rapidly out of hand from there.

OR the building of a relationship through mutual wank sessions.

I love everything Ashley writes, but this one was the first fic I read by her and it still has a warm place in my heart. I also highly recommend It’s Been A While (makes me cry every time) and Tell Me Honestly

Like a Storm, Like a Flood | T | 1065 | @valdomarx

Jaskier is leaving for the winter, and Geralt can't bear the thought of not seeing him for months.

It was soooo hard to pick only one fic by George, but this one is so soft and sweet and yearning I just had to go with it. This is really just about Geralt finally hitting a breaking point and saying enough is enough.

one flesh | E | 10,763 | WARNING: MCD

“Well, then. I’m a ghost.” Jaskier spread his arms grandly. Geralt held his gaze for a moment, then dropped his head and laughed. Jaskier put his hands on his hips. “Do fill me in on what’s so funny.” It wasn’t funny. It was just so - ridiculous, the things Geralt’s fucked up brain would invent. This had to be the last nail in the sanity coffin, it just had to be.

Or: Jaskier is a ghost, and Geralt is a mess.

Jaskier dies and comes back as a ghost to haunt Geralt into taking care of himself. Geralt does not handle this gracefully. This fic is so sad and heartbreaking, but the ending is so sweet.

to render it transparent | E | 23,901

Geralt wakes up warm, peaceful, and utterly content, which is how he knows that something is severely wrong.

Sigh. This fic. This is a time travel fic - Geralt ends up in the future living with Jaskier on the coast, just after the mountain. It’s slow and beautiful and extremely bittersweet, all about how we choose to love people despite how much it can hurt us.

With All the Continent A Stage | M | 4745 | @greyduckgreygoose

Later, Geralt learned that the play was four hours long. Four hours long. It didn’t feel like it. Most of it passed by in a fever dream of ominous music, dance-fighting and dryads in gossamer leaves, swinging from hoops attached to the ceiling. Yennefer made an appearance, played by Priscilla in a glittering negligee. She sang a song to Geralt about putting him “Under Her Spell”, and they had a sensual dance number which was made a little strange by a sickened Jaskier (played by Jaskier) coughing loudly in the background.

(Jaskier invites Geralt to a musical production inspired by his own life.)

Jaskier basically writes Geralt a love letter in the form of a four hour long play. Geralt is an idiot about it.

Multi-Chapter Fics

A Lover’s Lament | M | 25,364 | @somedrunkpirate

So,” Jaskier begins, as casually as he can, “you are telling me, that in theory, if I were to be in love with someone — anyone — that person could well be in terrible danger?”

Of all terrible and ridiculous things that have threatened Geralt’s safety, Jaskier’d never thought that loving him might be what will get him killed.

I honestly can’t count the number of times I’ve read this fic. The monster is so interesting, and the mythos of it fits seamlessly into the world of the Witcher in my mind. Jaskier being so afraid that his feelings are going to put Geralt at risk, clearly unable to see that Geralt is going through the exact same thing. I think about the scene with them looking at each other almost daily.

A Pair of Gloves, the Scent of Roses | M | 24,134 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence

In the bustling days before the Midsummer festival, Geralt is sent into the countryside to deal with a monster - with Jaskier once again by his side. But the bard has not forgiven him, and while he's not hiding his contempt for the Witcher, he is recalcitrant about revealing his true motives for joining him. As the hunt turns into a desperate mission to save an innocent man and the monster is not what is seems to be, Geralt learns a few new things about his old friend and decides to finally attempt to mend the rift between them...

This is one of my favorite’s in the fandom - it feels so believable, the world is so rich and the oc’s are convincing and charming. Geralt and Jaskier feel so honest here, stumbling around each other but still drawn together. Beautiful beautiful beautiful

Bearing the will of the flower | NR | 11,449

The way Jaskier sees it, his hobby of following a witcher around was always pretty likely to get him killed.

The fact that it's happening now because the witcher in question doesn't love him, he thinks as he coughs up crumpled flowers, hardly makes a difference.

My favorite hanahaki fic in the fandom. I’m such a sucker for these, and these two idiots being so incapable of talking about their feelings really makes them prime candidates.

Food of Love | T | 22,488 | @wallatile-qvibbler

I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

(or: the one where Jaskier channels magic through his songs, and it almost never goes as expected.)

This is a Jaskier and Renfri centric fic, which wasn’t something I knew I wanted until I read this. Jaskier is a bard which in this AU comes with magical powers, but it feels so well integrated into the universe that I wish it was just... how the Witcher is. Renfri is so good here, and even though Jaskier and Geralt barely even interact you can feel the tension and love between them. Cannot recommend highly enough.

friends and allies of the witcher | T | 10,312 | @theamazingbard

Yennefer crawls over to her newest cellmate. They’re curled up on their side. Breathing, but only just. She’s not sure what she’s hoping for when she turns them over. Still isn’t when she sees that it is indeed Jaskier.

“Shit."

Yennefer and Jaskier each suffer in more ways than one at the hands of Nilfgaard.

Yennefer and Jaskier get capture by Nilfgaard and tossed into a cell together. Exactly what I want out of season 2 honestly. Their interactions are gold.

I’d Be the Choiceless Hope | E | 45,188 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con | @lesdemonium

As a baby, Jaskier was visited by a fae, who gifted Jaskier's mother with Jaskier's obedience. As Jaskier grew older, the "gift" became more of a curse.

You know I’m not gonna make a rec list without listing Zoe’s Ella Enchanted au. Need I say more?

Silver and Copper | M | 56,139 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence | @kaer-cuan

Geralt is just supposed to pass through the quiet Lettenhove area. He's not anticipating being begged by its people to help save their viscount from a curse that keeps him from daylight. Lord Jaskier, they call him, and he's likely dying.

As Geralt struggles to untangle the ugly web of history that has lead to the increasingly complicated curse, he finds himself spending more and more time with the strange young viscount and wondering just what he might have been before the curse, and who he might be after. But things are not always as they seem, and as the curse tightens its grip on Jaskier, Geralt is forced to face the fear of failing yet another person whose choices were stolen from them.

Or-

Jaskier is kept from becoming a bard. Geralt finds him anyway.

This is a fic that haunts me. It’s very scary in parts, and mind the tags - there are some very heavy themes here. But it’s beautiful and touching, and Jaskier feels very true to himself even though his origin is so different.

we could be married (and then we'd be happy) | E | 50,222 | @a-kind-of-merry-war

Jaskier reached into his pocket, fingers grasping around the little box. He pulled it out with what he hoped was a romantic flourish, flipping it open to reveal the simple gold band inside. “Geralt,” he said, confidently, cooly, like this wasn’t terrifying, “Will you marry me?”

Geralt and Jaskier fake marriage proposals to get free deserts and shit but it goes tits up when Vesemir catches them in the act. Not knowing how to fess up, they go along with it for a while, which is hell because they’re both pining like mad. As I said, I don’t love modern au’s, but it’s merry so of course this one had to end up on my list.

And that’s it! 20 fics for you, and hopefully you can all find one or two you haven’t read before. There are a lot of people and fics that I didn’t include in this list only because I was trying to not put a million down (which I could). I highly recommend anything by @wherethewordsare, @julek, @contemplativepancakes, @witcher-and-his-bard, and @inber, as well as those linked to fics above, and I’m sure there are others I forgot to mention. Yall have truly made being in this fandom worthwhile <3

#geraskier #geraskier fic recs #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #witcher #fic recs #fic rec #I'm certain i missed a lot of good ones I've read over the years but I didn't want to risk making this super fucking long anyways #if you didn't see your name listed it isn't bc I don't adore you and your fics it's because i'm stupid <333

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witchy-jadda · 3 years

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rott spoilers ahead

so i’ve given myself some time to think about everything and try to process it all and here are some of my thoughts on trollhunters: rise of the titans...

- straight off the bat, i loved the intro. opening with blinky telling the story of what happened up until this point was incredible. i would have loved if they had circled back to this though (i saw someone else say it should have been him telling the story to jim and claire’s kids and i loved that idea!)

- i also liked that they didn’t waste time at the start, instead they just jumped right into the action which was fun.

- honestly, i thought jim’s plotline throughout the movie where he basically thought he was useless without the amulet was just really not fun to watch. i understand why it was there and it played into the climax but i really did not find it one bit necessary seeing as i felt that we have grown beyond that. i felt it was overused. we’ve been there before and jim is aware that he’s the trollhunter, amulet or not.

- douxie being so soft with nari was genuinely one of the most heartwarming parts of the movie. i feel that we were really robbed of so much potential with douxie in this movie though. we didn’t see nearly enough of him. it seemed that the writers were picking and choosing when to remember how powerful he is. switching with nari and connecting to her are two examples of when they actually used his power, but aside from that they just disregarded it a lot.

- and speaking of forgetting how powerful people are... i’m genuinely so hurt and let down over what they did to claire. do they not realise how powerful she is? did they just forget about her character arc? it sure felt like it. she got to use her powers a few times (connecting to nari, portalling the titan, etc) but mostly it felt like she was saying she was spent and therefore unable to do anything. she is so strong and so powerful, and that’s just so empowering - especially for young girls. and then it kinda felt to me that rott was reducing her to basically nothing more than jim’s love interest.

- okay another quick note, it kinda felt to me that krel’s potential was also pretty wasted? he barely did anything and i just think he deserved more too.

- ew okay i don’t even want to think about it but i know i can’t discuss rott without talking about the mpreg thing. seriously, what the fuck was that? at first, i thought it was going to be a joke. i thought aja and krel were gonna wind steve up and see how far they could go with making him think he was pregnant just for a little bit of comic relief. but then he was actually pregnant. and so i laughed, because even though it was dumb it was kind of funny. weird and unexpected, but kind of funny. but by the time the movie was over it just didn’t sit right with me. looking past the fact that it was just more of them making steve’s character into a joke, i couldn’t see the logic in giving so much time to that subplot when other characters (claire, douxie) and other relationships (claire and douxie’s friendship) were sidelined. maybe if he had gotten a whole season the mpreg thing could have been included as comic relief or whatever, but with such limited time i really don’t see the point of wasting so much time on something so pointless.

- speaking of steve, i need to talk about creepslayerz... they really deserved more :( like i get that eli literally helped steve through child birth and then named one after him which was lowkey adorable but i loved their friendship so much and i was really hoping to see more of them. i was kind of hoping they’d get to do more as well. look i gave up on hopes of a romance long ago (even though i still really wished it would happen) but i hoped that at least we’d see some more of their friendship.

* by this point my brain has decided to forget absolutely every point i wanted to make... cue the brain fog (we don’t like her) and allow me to take a moment to read back and try to find my point again *

- i don’t think i can stress enough how much i loved the visuals in this movie. holy fucking shit it was just phenomenal. like wow. the art was absolutely fantastic and i’m really hoping for another the art of... book because i love the art of trollhunters and i feel that they could do with updating it to include the newer stuff. but yep, the animation quality was incredible and i don’t have a bad thing to say about it because just wow.

- speaking of art... a moment of appreciation for character designs. just wow wow wow. we love to see such intricately designed villains. we love to see growth in our other much loved characters. and the locations too? fantastic. beautiful. amazing. loved it.

- another moment of appreciation for jim. the hair. the scars. the injuries. the winter jacket. the fact that he looked a little older.... loved it. loved it, loved it, loved it. i cannot wait to spend hours pouring over reference pictures to draw them all.

- and claire... her armor being weathered and worn. her eyes!! her hair looked great as always. i just love her...

- nari nari nari... my goodness, her magic is so beautiful. i wish we got to see more.

- also, the jlaire moments were very cute. their kisses? so soft. they literally love each other so much. i adore them.

- what happened to the babies from the darklands btw? is not enrique just chilling in the lake’s house with a ton of babies?

- barbara deserved better. i would have liked to see her and strickler happy.

- on that note, why the actual fuck did they think a few explosives would win against magic?? literal ancient magic and these dumbasses were like huh i guess we should blow it up. i’m sorry, what?? y’all are stupid.

* currently trying to think of every possible point that isn’t to do with the ending because i really don’t want to think about that yet *

- the whole thing with archie and charlemagne felt super unnecessary. like usually characters sacrifice themselves and it’s like sad and you can see the reasoning and stuff. but they literally could have gotten out. i really did not vibe with that. it felt like they just did that to leave douxie with no one.

- that trollmarket was beautiful though.

- speaking of trollmarket... they really restored the heartstone just like that? are you joking? i was not impressed at all. the heartstone was dead and gone, could not be destroyed. did they just forget that? half the shit in wizards wouldn’t have happened if the heartstone could have been restored. very pissed off by that. it was dead, that was it.

- okay back to jim... love that he pulled the sword from the stone. it was cute that it was a group effort, kinda would have preferred if it was just him but that’s just a me thing. and maybe me and my daylight tattoo are biased here, but excalibur is not half as pretty as daylight.

- not gonna lie, jim yelling come on trollhunters! kinda got me. i was very emotional watching this.

- i think the most in character jim moment of the whole movie was when he dropped excalibur, he didn’t have his armor, he was all alone and he decided to make a fist and fight the wizard/god with literally no weapon or means of defence. i don’t think y’all understand how much i love this dumb self sacrificing selfless boy. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, he is literally one of my most favourite characters of all time. i love him with all my heart.

- the armor!! wow wow wow. that was a fucking cool scene. beautiful.

- jim getting stabbed or whatever with that fucking spear thing nearly killed me.

- okay here goes... toby. my sweet toby. jim and toby’s friendship is one of my absolute favourites ever. my goodness. and toby getting in the van and going to save jim was incredible and such a toby thing to do. of course he would think of doing that.

- but like seriously... claire and douxie are so fucking powerful and they were both just like lol i guess we can’t do anything to help jim? i’m sorry what?? don’t tell me that claire wouldn’t go full on black and purple eyes and get herself up their to him. i just... i’m so bothered by the fact that they were sidelined y’all :|

- also, do not seriously try to tell me that aaarrrgghh!!! would let toby go on his own. he would have went with him. he would have followed him.

- literally as jim was falling the first thing that went through my mind was oh aaarrrgghh!!! is gonna run up and catch him.

- and while we’re on the topic of aaarrrgghh!!! why tf did they have such a build up that something was going to happen to either him or blinky for literally no reason? wtf

- aaarrrgghh!!! would not have let toby go alone!!! if he had been there, he would have protected toby, he would have saved him and none of that mess of an ending would have happened.

* ugh here’s the bit i was dreading... the ending *

- first off, i am choosing to ignore it.

- time stone? really? we’re... we’re gonna do this? literally one of the most original things i have ever watched is now - at the literal last possible minute - rip off another movie?? really?? whyyyy???

- i literally cannot express how much i hated it. it was so fucking unnecessary.

- he didn’t need to go back that far!!!

- i’m actually trying to block this out but i suppose i have to at least touch on it. jim would never ever put that burden on to toby. he just wouldn’t. before even looking at all of the other issues with toby getting the amulet, i need to say that. it just wouldn’t happen. he struggled so much with being the trollhunter, he wouldn’t put that on toby.

- also toby literally never wanted to be the trollhunter?? he never wanted the amulet? he wanted to be a duke and have his war hammer and go on adventures with his best friend and his wingman and eat mexican food.

- okay so um i guess they all just forgot about unbecoming? cool cool cool.

- seriously though, was it not established many times that jim literally had to be trollhunter? and if he wasn’t it would be draal and everything would go to shit? did they just forget about that??

- having jim just decide to give toby the amulet literally takes away from the entire meaning behind jim getting the amulet and becoming the trollhunter. the amulet chose jim. merlin chose him. out of all of the creatures in the world, it had to be jim. he can’t just give that to toby!!

- and as much as i love toby, he would not last a day as trollhunter.

- and that’s not even beginning to mention all that jim erased by not becoming trollhunter. no father son relationship between him and blinky. they didn’t stop steve from picking on eli so no steve redemption and no creepslayerz. is he just going to allow enrique to be taken? toby will not have the same incentive to go into the darklands to save him if that’s the case. strickler will not show any sort of sentiment towards toby either. and then the big one...

- IS THAT FUCKER REALLY GOING TO ALLOW CLAIRE TO NOT GET HER POWERS??? WHAT???

- if jim isn’t trollhunter and the whole thing with enrique doesn’t happen then claire will never get her shadowstaff. let’s be real, strickler probably wouldn’t even need angor rot with toby as trollhunter. somehow i can’t see him making it that far...

- if claire doesn’t have her shadow staff then the whole thing with morgana won’t happen. she won’t destroy the shadow staff and then she will never develop her powers. would jim really rob her of that?

- okay i can’t do anymore, it’s too much for me now...

- i touched on this already in a separate post but i gotta say it again... i did not enjoy the destiny is a gift bit at the end. first of all, jim having toby find the amulet literally takes the meaning of that speech and his destiny away instanty. and second, i just could not stand hearing emile hirsch say the words that belonged to anton yelchin. it was just uncomfortable.

aaand i think i’m done. maybe i’ll have more later but i have a headache now from all of this.

#rott #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #rott spoilers #jim lake jr #claire nuñez #toby domzalski #blinky #aaarrrgh #wizards #toa #douxie #rise of the titans #trollhunters spoilers #trollhunters rise of the titans

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