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maskved · 3 years

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hello, besties ! this is ami (she/her) and i’m probably late with this intro ! first i’m sorry for mass-liking every post but i’m already in love with all your lovely muses. also i must confess that i’ve only read the first book ( years ago ) and watched the show because i have an attention span of - 10 seconds. but at least i’m a soc hoe, so we can scream about that ... please ... !!! so if i get anything wrong pls let me know or you can also not let me know and i’ll continue being embarrassing 😔. anyway, if you are interested in some juicy plotting pls LIKE this post or message me ( if you want to plot on discord we can also do that 💖). I’M EXCITED.

PINTEREST . discor*d six of hoes🔪#7888 // YEVA

[ viktoriya zobova ], an [ twenty six ] year old grisha in the little palace. she is a [ tailor ] and are known in the little palace as the [ viscerotonic ]. they are known to be [ resilient ] and [ elusive ] and vaguely resemble [ kristine froseth ].

death tw

- viktoriya zobova ( however, prefers to be called vika because every time one calls her by her full name she might as well be in trouble ) had never been more than average. born to average parents ( although grisha their powers pale compared to others ) into an average family and of course as the middle child, vika strived for more than simply being overlooked.

- truth to be told, she dreaded to be tested. to her it seemed like the final reminder that she was nothing special, average, merely an extra to someone other’s story. she even wished, she wouldn’t be a grisha, fearing that like her parents she’d belong to the lower ranks. however, if she turned out to be a simple human without any power, at least she’d be special within her family or could even try to make a story up that she was adopted or something ( i hate her -- ).

- however, the moment she found out about being able to alter people’s appearances with her ability *atla vc* everything changed -

- truth to be told she knew she was considered to be lower rank among others but what really fueled her arrogance and the sudden feeling of self importance was her knowing that she possessed a rare ability. she didn’t care others treating her badly for her rank because “hey i can alter appearances and that is lit ( she probably didn’t say it that way - )

- ALSO ( here comes the moment i throw in my found family trope bcs i’m a soc hoe and this actually plays a big role in her story ) she’d found comfort in the friends she met.

- (lemme add my childhood friends trope bcs why not ) as vika was never close to her parents ( to be fair her being taken away for the training at such a young age did not really gave her the time to really bond with her family ) her little group of friends became her second family. they called themselves “blood is thicker water” ( gang ???) bcs 1) vika really thought the saying was blood is thicker water and not blood is thicker than water 2) they thought they were incredibly funny.

- they were pretty much known as troublemakers, especially with vika being a tailor it was easy to sometimes shift the blame on others. truth to be told, it only caused vika to be more frivolous. all the fun they had blinded her judgment and she viewed her ability as harmless.

- well, lets say vika becoming more reckless did not end up being the best character development (lmao). as usual , everything started out as a harmless joke. her friend asked her to change his appearance. however, this time they wanted her to change their whole face. not just the colour of their hair or eyes. vika was reluctant at first, she’d never done it before but in the end she agreed to it and much to her surprise she succeeded. she even bragged about it and told her friends ( of the bloody “blood is thicker water” gang (???) ) .

- to cut a long story short, their friend ended up dying because of it. i have two versions for their death ( i haven’t decided on it yet *clown emoji*)

1) the person they changed their appearance into apparantly was involed in some shady stuff and had some pretty morally questionable people around him. they thought vika’s friends was that person they were looking for (bcs of the changed appearance) and killed them for some reason.

2) vika’s friend was supposed to be part of some mission they didn’t want to go to, thus changed their appearance to escape from it. however, ended up having to do another mission and ended up being killed.

RIP nameless but vital character to vika’s bio

- vika pretty much blamed herself for it and maybe her friends of their friend group as well. this incident also ‘humbled’ vika and now instead of being proud of it she hates it.

- right now, she doesn’t really know what to do with her future. she has this ‘oh so grand’ plan that one day she might be able to change her appearance (permanently) and then leave the little palace and live under a new name and lead a life where she wouldn’t need to use her abilities anymore.

personality ( i’m trying to keep it short i swear, i’m just adding a bunch of sentence here bcs i’m throwing all my ideas into this paragraph)

- she’s known to be pretty social. she loves to talk and honestly doesn’t know when to shut up. she can’t deal with silence because it forces her to think about things she doesn’t want to think about. although, her tongue is sharp and trouble seems to follow her, she also loves to dance around the issue, pushing her feelings away and replacing it with a witty joke instead. as if everyone does it the same way, as if everyone is supposed to understand.

headcanons

- although she was tempted to change her own appearance many times. she never did because she is a coward and doesn’t trust her skills as much others might think she does.

- she views her ability as a form of art, perhaps that is also the reason she used to love to paint. honestly, she was never really good at it. average and above average with practice. her friend ( the dead one lmao ) used to paint with her whenever they could sneak away but with them gone, she doesn’t see a point in it anymore.

- she secretly envies the other grisha’s who can use their ability to fight. recently, she’d find herself trying to practice some punches so she doesn’t feel that useless in case of a dangerous situation. she also sucks at that so she’s probably in need of a training patner aka someone who is willing to train her or she has annoyed that much that they were willing to help her out ( wc ???)

- being personally trained by the darkling, one might assume that she’s loyal or even thankful towards the darkling. however, contrary is the case and she wouldn’t even grant him a dust particle of her trust. she doesn’t believe that he has the best interest of anyone in his heart and if she could, she’d probably spread rumors about him and telling others that he has some serious case of stanky breath.

wanted connections ( just some ideas, which can be changed ofc ! or some wcs can be connected )

(0/3) “blood is thicker water” friend group : they pretty much grew up together. the death of their friend ( the friend needs a name - i swear...) caused tension within the group. while, one might have blamed vika for their death the other doesn’t and just wants them to be how they used to be. nevertheless, no one can deny that nothing was what it used to be). (( honestly these are just some ideas and we can plot wtv sddm )

training partner ( can be more than one ): connection mentioned in the hcs ! they help her a little out to become physically fit and level up her combat skills of -10. maybe they want something in return for it. help her out bcs they’re just nice or bcs vika annoyed the heck out of them etc.

person vika changed their friend’s appearance into: honestly we can do wtv with it. i just thought it’d be fun to play with the idea and having the person running around when they actually “died” and everyone belieed them to be dead until they found out that it was vika’s friend. might be angsty bcs it might remind vika of their friend.

angsty exes: listen, i love some angsty shit and i love to blame vika for all the problems. they might have dated before the whole dead friend fiasco happened. although, viktoriya acted as if she was fine after the incident ( which she wasn’t ),it only made muse a realize that vika and them weren’t as close as they believed and how much vika tied to hide from them. BUT tbh anything would work i love a good angsty ex connection djddnd

random idea but i just liked the thought that this person once went to vika for some enhancing stuff. however, this day vika was not really herself, distracted, head in the clouds. so she accidenally might have gotten rid of some important scar or something.

enemies : lbr, vika might prbly be the type who has some enemies. she has no filter and might has stepped on someone toes because of it. (Also maybe gimme some enemies to lovers trope , adding this here quietly to not expose myself as a hoe for that trope )

HONESTLY GIVE ME EVERYTHING, gimme angst, fluff, tropes !!??? more friends, unusual friends, shippy stuff, platonic stuff, family connections djdsd GIMME

#this got super long sddsn i'm sorry #she's super dumb thats her story just being dump #also i'm not ignoring my ims i will answer them asap !!!#ravkahq:intro #not me having to reedit the edit bcs i misspelled her surname *clown emoji*

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foiblepnoteworthy · 3 years

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[basic id: three drawings in a sketchy art style. first is of a young jon and james wright in the tunnels beneath the institute; second is of elias in his office; third is of a framed photo of jon and elias.]

Wow it sure has been a minute since I posted fanart for my favourite fic that you all must read, nature has taught her creatures to hate by @polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup

better id and headcanons under the cut

[ID:

First image: Jon and Wright in the tunnels from chapter 2. Wright is on the left, lit from above by the light from the trapdoor. He is tall and broad, and the light casts his face into a shadowed frown. Jon is on the right, hiding behind a wall, eyes wide and staring in Wright’s direction. Jon’s face is just barely visible in the darkness.

Second image: Elias sits behind his desk in his office, hands on the surface. Light streams in from the window behind him, bathing the room in a sickly green. There is a subtle glow to his eyes. (Quote from fic: “There are jars of mismatched shapes and sizes on a mahogany table lining the wall, filled with dull, viscous-looking fluids of all colours... Thick, leather-bound tomes lined the bookshelves bracketing the walls...”) The drawing is not a perfect recreation of that, but honestly doing that much clutter sounds exhausting and would have taken away from the imposing focal point so.

Third image: (Quote from fic: “Elias stands in frame, smiling against a light stone wall for backdrop. His left hand grips a shoulder, and at the end of that shoulder is Jon.”) Jon’s shoulder is tense under Elias’ hand, hands in fists and elbows drawn in protectively. Their shirt and ties match. Jon’s hair is long, but neatly combed and not in his preferred bun.

okay so here’s my latest headcanons:

-around the house jon and his nan would sometimes speak her mother tongue, which jon was comfortably conversational in. elias, wanting jon to be a tiny version of himself, discouraged this. when jon began in his rebellious phase, he tried to remember some, and was overjoyed when he managed it. later, when looking through cookbooks in his own language (wanting to eat something other than the bland white people food elias gave him), he realised his grasp of the language was far more complicated than it must have been even as a child, never mind after years without practise. this was how he discovered the eye could translate for him.

-i recall that jon and og elias briefly had a friendly interaction, in which elias showed concern for jons wellbeing. so i hc that wright didnt warn jon before he switched bodies, and jon came to the wrong conclusions when an ally appeared in wherever he was

-bb jon had long hair. the day before he started at the institute, elias cut it.

-i made that up and im so furious about it he cut his fucking hair

-like i put so much value in jons sense of his own self image and yes i made this up but jon could control very little about his life and he wasnt even allowed to keep his long hair he liked to put up in a bun like his nan (and maybe his mum) did

(-did i even make the self image thing up bc i known jon has this whole thing about not following the dress code but how far back does this way of acting go yanno? and how much is it to do with him wanting to look how he wants and how much is just trying to annoy elias? does he know the difference? is there a difference? does his life still revolve around elias even when hes trying to express himself and be separate?)

-on the flipside he got the courage to start growing it out again after he met gerry. this was also when he doubled down on expressing himself through his appearance. thats barely even hc im p sure thats just canon tbh

-as always i hc skirt jon but i also hc (is it hc if its basically canon?) skirt gerry anyway that also started at the same time. i like to think the skirts are a gender thing as much as a pissing off elias thing but idk. no i know - jon started and maintains it as a bothering elias thing and doesnt realize its a favourite for gender reasons. (he does not have time to gender poor soul)

-i will offer one nice crumb that is actually basically canon anyway teen jon had a specific alley cat he would feed that was in an alley next to the institute. the cat let him give her pets and cuddles. when she had kittens she let him hold them.

-also i mentioned it before but gertrude kept a cat figure on her desk and jon kept it in pride of place when he moved into her office

anyway~

[ID a sketch of Jon, wearing a cabled green sweater and black jeans with ridiculous chains and buckles pointing at the open trapdoor saying, “get in the hole”. He is short.]

#fanart #fanart for a fanfic #nhthcth #fic rec #i should get a proper art tag huh

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cherryonigiri · 4 years

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the retrospective: alice’s 1k special || lover masterlist

matchup requests: CLOSED

@renaxwrites asked: Congrats on 1k bby 🥳💞 can I request a matchup 👉🏼👈🏼 my mbti type is ENFP-T. My Hogwarts house is Slytherin/my Patronus is a rattlesnake! 5 words to describe me: ambitious, imaginative, passionate, loyal and sincere. I'm an art major so my hobbies are drawing, reading & playing instruments. My style depends on my mood, so it can be classy fit one day, street style the next. Fav beverage is tied between iced tea and coke. Lastly my fav team is Nekoma/Karasuno (sorry can’t choose 🥺) ty ily

AN: Rena!!! awwwwww thank you sm!!!! Lolol i have trouble choosing a favorite team too! Have a wonderful day bby!

Your matchup is: Yaku Morisuke

How you met: You were in Russia for an art fellowship for the year, and happened to meet him through Alisa (who is a model for one of the portraits you’re creating). She introduced the two of you at a small party at her place, and two of you hit it off right away. Both of you are very ambitious and passionate about your respective careers and vibe off of having that same ambitious energy. He probably says that he’ll spot your ticket if you ever want to go to one of his games. The two of you text on and off for a while after meeting, and you take him up on his offer to watch a game every now and then.

Your first date: For one of the private new year’s galas/charity events that the Russian league holds, Yaku gets an invite to a famous art museum, with the option of bringing a plus one. He looks into what exhibits the museum has and he finds out that one of the galleries is dedicated to impressionist art, and features several pieces by an artist you’ve mentioned to him. He asks if you’d like to be his date for the night and you accept. Honestly his jaw almost hits the ground when he sees you in your outfit for the night and he honestly doesn’t pay much attention to the gala itself since he’s more than content to listen to you ramble and point out all the different paintings you love.

Your first kiss: At the end of the gala, there are several toasts and a countdown until the start of the new year. He grabs two flutes of champagne and the two of you share a small toast and clink your glasses before taking a sip. Of course, it’s a bit cheesy but he waits until the countdown reaches zero before kissing you. The two of you start the new year surrounded by cheering, and honestly the kiss is just perfect. It’s firm yet sweet, and just the slightest bit of tongue that leaves you wanting more. When he drops you off at your door, he makes sure to kiss you a few more times before heading home.

Anniversary: You have to return home after your fellowship ends, but the two of you, out of sheer stubbornness and devotion make long distance work (although not without a few bumps in the road.) Your first anniversary happens to fall on a night where Yaku has to play for his team - and he lets you know that he won’t be there in person. However, the night before the two of you enjoy a very long video call, and he makes it a point to ship you a beautiful Russian egg as a present + a very sweet and heartfelt love letter. Admittedly you’re a bit mopey on the day of your actual anniversary - so you decide to be a couch potato for the day, bundling up in blankets on your couch to watch the re-run of your boyfriend’s match. You’re at the match point for the second set when you hear a knock at your door. At first you think it’s probably just a package, but when you open your door Yaku is standing there with a giant bouquet of flowers. You basically tackle him and are a complete sobbing mess bc this is the best surprise ever???? He hauled ass to get to where you were on time but it was totally worth seeing how happy you are.

How they propose: A few years down the road, you’re visiting Yaku in Russia and are in the VIP section/front row during the finals of the league tournament. You’re on the edge of your seat, they’re down to a deuce in the fifth set and you can just feel the tension as both teams struggle to score two points in a row. Finally, after making an extraordinary save, Yaku’s team manages to score that second point, sending the entire stadium into cheers. You’re jumping up and down in the stands, and the entire team is bundled up in a group hug. After the medal ceremony, Yaku’s walking around waving to fans, and his teammates all keep patting him on the back. By the time he gets to you pretty much all his teammates are casting not so subtle glances at him (much to his annoyance). The adrenaline hasn’t worn off quite yet, so before he gets too nervous he kneels down in front of you and the audience collectively gasps. He has the whole speech prepared when he proposes and you’re in tears by the time he finishes. When you nod yes he tears up before grabbing you for the tightest hug ever.

What your wedding looks like: Decides to do two small ceremonies - one in his home country of Japan and another in your home country. It’s the perfect compromise and ensure that none of your friends have to spend exorbitant amounts of money to attend a destination wedding. The ceremonies are both intimate and small - it’s mostly close friends and family. The Nekoma alum are all there in Japan, and yoru classmates from art school are present for the ceremony that takes place in your hometown. Takes a few months off to enjoy newlywed life with you - he spends the first two months living with you in your apartment, and the months travelling around Japan with you.

Newlywed/domestic hc: now that you’re married Yaku has zero qualms about helping you set up a studio in St. Petersburg (if you’re willing to move your career to the same country as his, if not he’ll still buy the two of you a larger apartment for when you visit). Also sugar daddy Yaku ahem n e ways even if his team isn’t based in St. Petersburg, at least he can spend his weekends and most of his off season with you. Of course, you still have to fly back and forth between continents because of all your different clients, but at the end of the day nothing beats coming home to Yaku cooking a nice pot of nabe in the kitchen. The two of you revel in your newly found domestic bliss - it’s just wonderful to finally have a shared place you both call home.

#haikyuu matchups #haikyuu x reader #yaku x reader #yaku morisuke x reader #yaku morisuke #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu #nekoma #the retrospective #alice's 1k special

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moody-bloosh · 5 years

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mirror, mirror (Illuso)

for some reason, i was in a bit of a fairy tale mood. so here’s my take on snow white ~! fem!reader too btw im sorry i couldn’t make it gender neutral :( here’s one of the passion projects I’ve been working on since last year <3 <3 I hope you all like it!

tagging @a-nonnie-mousse bc she’s the only other illuso stan i personally know <3

content warning: yandere, manipulation, mind break, homicide, gore

As the newest addition to the king’s harem, the latest flower in his blooming garden, you knew you should be thankful for the opportunity. For someone like you born the second daughter of some countryside lord, a spot in the king’s harem meant comfort, riches, and if you were so inclined, power.

But for the sweet and simple you, you were already happy to be allowed such a privilege. There was no greater honor than to serve the king, you believed. Besides, some part of you marveled over how romantic it was. Innocently, you imagined that perhaps in the palace, the king would show you the love and affection you’d only known of in passing, just like the ones you were so fond of reading about in your books.

And so even though it pained you to uproot yourself from your home, the only world you had ever known. You had taken the king’s outstretched hand and agreed to be his newest concubine.

On your first day in the harem, the king gifts you with a mirror. A large ornate, full length mirror inlaid with pearls and gold. How it had filled your heart with so much love and adoration, you’d never had such finery back at home.

Oh, if only you’d known that this was common practice for the king.

If only you were a little wiser to the nuances of the palace.

If only you had known better, you would have tried harder to seduce the king. You would have worked even harder to try and secure allies. But you did not know any better. You were the second daughter of a countryside lord and you were not wise at all to the politics that brewed in court.

Before you knew it you were painfully alone. Seeing that the king was beginning to tire of you, the other concubines took it upon themselves to curry favor with him again. Pushed to the side, alone, isolated, you yearned for your home and yet you could not return.

You were the king’s concubine now and you were his property.

You had nobody in this painfully beautiful palace. Consigning yourself to a slow and silent decay, you decided to keep to yourself. Your heart too fragile to keep up with courtly intrigue and the painful words of the other concubines.

All you had now were your books. Your books and your beautiful mirror.

One lonely afternoon, you were lying in bed, reading when you heard the most peculiar thing. A distinctly male voice sounded through your room. Too youthful, too deep to be the king’s. You froze, fearful of an intruder. You held the book close to your chest, a makeshift weapon as you looked around your room.

Your room looked painfully ordinary. Looking here and there for any sign of an intruder, you hesitantly walked around your room.

“Over here~”

You froze immediately.

D-did the mirror just talk?!

Bringing your hands up to your mouth to suppress the frightened scream that threatened to tear out of your throat, you considered the mirror once more. It was painfully maddening in its normalcy. Perhaps...perhaps you were just imagining things. Hesitantly, you gently brushed your hand against the mirror’s surface. When nothing happened, you breathed a sigh of relief and your expression softened once more.

Maybe it was all just your imagination.

“That’s a nice expression,” the voice said again, “you look pretty when you smile.”

Your heart falls and your expression falters, as the mirror in front of you reveals a handsome man. With hair tied up in neat pigtails and his eyes seeming to pierce through you, you trembled. Biting back another scream, you found your knees buckling, too frightened of the supernatural happenings.

However, before you could find yourself tumbling down to the floor, you felt strong arms wrap around you, holding you safe and secure. Looking up into the stranger’s eyes you found yourself transfixed by its beauty. Red eyes glittering like precious rubies, full, soft-looking lips curled into a smug smile that sent your heart pattering wildly against your chest.

Illuso smirked.

“See something you like, your highness?”

“I-I...”

You trail off, too confused by the sudden turn of events.

“Hm? A little tongue tied I see, I admit, I do have that effect on people~”

“Y-you... the mirror...”

“Ah yes, it’s an interesting ability isn’t it?”

“Who are you?”

Illuso caressed your cheek tenderly. He drank in your flustered, embarrassed expression. So adorable, so pure. Holding you closer and leaning forward so that his lips were merely inches away from yours, Illuso whispered.

“I can be whatever you want me to be, your highness.”

“T-then...” You said softly, shyly averting your gaze from him.

Illuso hummed. Of course, not even you would be able to resist him. As if considering his words, you took a moment to think before you looked back at him. He was still holding you tightly. Your heart pounded fiercely against your chest as you opened your mouth to tell him your wish.

“Will you be my friend?”

Illuso is true to his words, you find. Soon, the boring days you were trapped in began to be filled with happy memories that you would spend with Illuso. You found yourself smiling more often recently. Some days you would catch yourself smiling as you selected books for you and Illuso to read from the library or you would find yourself thinking of what he might like to have for tea that day.

Naturally, the other residents of the castle begin to take notice of the sudden shift in your behavior. The concubines would gossip, jealous about how you could devour so much snacks by yourself and still retain your lovely figure. Suddenly, they were inviting you to spend time with them, to read with them, to be with them as they went about their sewing. You were pleased to discover that they weren’t as terrible as you had initially thought. Soon enough, you were swept away in tea parties and plays and private viewings at esteemed art galleries.

It made you a little anxious at first to spend so much time with such intimidating noble ladies, you began to ease up around them. Even though at first, you had been loathe to part with Illuso, you found yourself spending less and less time with him. At the very least, you would make time in your evenings to sit with Illuso and tell him about your day. You would apologize that you couldn’t spend as much time with him as you had used to. And though he wasn’t one to openly complain you did take note of his huffy demeanor and promise to make it up to him soon. Sadly, and much to Illuso’s displeasure, you never really were able to keep your promises to him.

Even, the king himself had taken notice of you. Your innocent joy and sweetness reminding him of why he had taken you to be one of his concubines in the first place. That was another thing you needed to be grateful to Illuso for. You had regained the king’s favor. You would cheerfully spin around in front of Illuso showing off the new dresses and the pretty jewelry the king would lavish onto you. You would tell him how happy you were that the king was finally paying attention to you again, blissfully unaware of the jealousy in his eyes.

“It’s all thanks to you, Illuso,” you said to him. “If you hadn’t rescued me from loneliness then I would have spent the rest of my life sulking alone.”

You grasped his hands gently, looking up at him with a sweet smile on your face. You looked at him so adoringly, so reverently. The sight of you, looking at him so lovingly had his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He worried that you would hear it.

“I’m so very grateful for you,” you told him, giving him a small, chaste kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, my dearest friend.”

Something ugly and dark rears its head in Illuso’s heart.

Was that really all you saw him as? A friend?

No. No. He couldn’t accept that. He would not accept that.

You were his Queen, the only bright light in his dark world. And he was your savior, wasn’t he? The reason you had even begun to smile again, the one who had saved you from a dull life.

As you spoke to him about the king, that wretched vile bastard who dared to monopolize your time, he thought long and hard about how he would bring you back into his arms.

All he wanted was for you to be his and only his again.

It is all too easy for Illuso to slink around unnoticed and whisper slanderous words about you to the other concubines. Soon enough they do his job for him, he watches as you are shunned once more. The target of vicious bullying and vitriol. You would quietly tell Illuso all about the horrifying ordeals you were forced to endure. And he would play the part of your every loyal, always understanding friend.

You are the fairest of them all,” Illuso whispers, his tone as sweet as honey, and his touch so inviting.

“They are simply jealous of you, my Queen,” Illuso would say, sweet, comforting, “you know that they are nothing compared to you.”

His red eyes glimmered like rubies as he leaned out of the mirror, his lips coming dangerously close to your own. “I hate to see you so sad...”

“Just say the words your majesty,” he says sweetly. “I’ll take care of them for you.”

You aren’t as foolish or as innocent as Illuso thinks. Spending so much time in his company, it was only inevitable that you’d come to be corrupted too. You know full well what Illuso means when he offers to take care of your problem. Your fingers clench, ruining the delicate fabric of the new dress the king had given you. If Illuso notices the conflicted look on your face, he doesn’t comment on it.

“Please,” you whisper. “Please help me, Illuso.”

Lately, you wake up with tears in your eyes. Every night, Illuso would come to you with a smile on his face. Every morning, a new corpse would be found. Each and every death hangs on your conscience, makes you wash your hands and clean yourself with a little too much vigor. Tensions rise in the palace, the other concubines beg the king to let them leave. Your numbers dwindle and dwindle until only you and a handful of other noble ladies are left.

You are the King’s favorite and you have lasted the longest.

When he crowns you Queen as thanks for your loyalty, you assume that maybe this time you will be happy. You confide in Illuso and as always he nods and tells you that he is happy that you are to be Queen.

When you tell him that you are excited to move into the king’s quarters, he stills. But he does not let any of his unsightly jealousy show. Instead, he digs his nails into his palm, hard enough to draw blood. He keeps up his gentle facade at least until you fall asleep. He watches you sleep, you sleep peacefully for the first time since his killings. He takes in the soft rise and fall of your chest and when you turn over to the other side, he finally makes his move.

Stepping out of the mirror, he softly pads over to you. Caressing your cheek, he leans forward to plant a delicate kiss on your lips, just as he had done every night since he had ascertained his feelings for you.

He thinks, thinks as hard as he can about a way to keep you out of that disgusting king’s clutches. It takes him a moment or two before he understands. Illuso chuckles softly, as the solution comes to him. Painfully simple.

He just had to get rid of the king.

The newest addition to the king’s harem: a sweet girl with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood. She was beautiful, so painfully beautiful you felt physically sick in her presence. When she is introduced to the king, he gives her a mirror.

Almost identical to the one he gave you.

As you are prone to do now, you run to Illuso. You ask him, voice dripping with betrayal and heartbreak how many? Illuso has the gall to look surprised and that breaks you just the slightest bit.

“I know, Illuso. I know I’m not special. Tell me how many concubines have you offered your friendship? Your companionship? Did you give them something more?”

And oh, how quick he is to step out of his mirror and hold you in his strong arms. Blanketing you in a warmth, you were loathe to admit you wanted.

“Only you, my Queen, it’s always been just you.”

“Then why me? Why someone like me?!”

“Because,” and with his free hand, he hooks his index finger under your chin, prompting you to look him in the eye. “You are the fairest of them all.”

The fairest? Really? How stupid did Illuso think you were? You looked so pathetic, so shameful reflected in his eyes. As if scalded by his sincere words, you try to tear your gaze away from his but you find yourself transfixed by him. He was handsome, he could have anyone in the harem. Before you can even say anything else, Illuso kisses you.

And it is sweeter than any wine, more passionate than anything you’ve ever experienced, you close your eyes as you give in to his affections. The kiss is brief but you find that it is enough.

When he caresses your cheek, you can’t help but blush as you lean in to his touch. You’ve never known what it truly meant to be wanted, to be desired. To be loved. You’d never received the love you truly wanted, the love Illuso was so willing to give you.

When he leans in to kiss you, you lean forward to meet him halfway. When his hands begin to rove around, you let him.

You wanted him to give you the love you were so desperate for. And he was kind enough to acquiesce over and over through the night.

Even now, the people still whisper about that dreadful day when the Queen had invited the king and all his concubines to a banquet, how she had given them all beautifully baked apple tarts, how even though she had taken a bite of one of those apple tarts she had survived the deadly poison within them.

No one had dared to oppose you, dissenters were hushed, even people who would whisper insults about you would suddenly be found hanged in the town’s square.

The New Queen is a witch. The New Queen was granted powers by the Devil, himself.

The New Queen is always talking to her mirror.

You were crying again, hysterical and of course, only Illuso could soothe you.

Just as he had wanted.

“It’s so terrible what the peasants call you,” Illuso had murmured softly as you nuzzled closer to him, “they call you the Evil Queen, the Mad Queen, even.”

Illuso sighed as he cupped your tearstained face to wipe away your tears, “oh, if only they knew how lovely you really are.”

You clung to Illuso all the more, you held him as if he was your only hope and in a way he was. You don’t sleep well at night anymore. The images of that gruesome banquet forever imbedded in your mind. How they all retched and vomited blood after taking a bite of the apple tarts, how the king desperately grabbed your neck, trying to take you down with him until Illuso had appeared to slit his throat.

In this horrible, horrible world, you could lean only on Illuso. He was the only one in this world who really loved you, and how fortunate you were to find someone like him.

Illuso cups your cheeks, using the pads of his thumb to wipe away your tears.

So lucky, you were so lucky to find someone like Illuso. Illuso drinks in the devotion, the ardor in your eyes like it is the finest of wines. Smiling as he leans forward to seal a passionate kiss on your lips once more, you are only too desperate to please him.

“My darling, my Queen, my _____. You truly are the fairest of them all.”

#yandere #yandere imagines #yandere jjba #yandere x reader #play #side b #illuso x reader #illuso #vento aureo #golden wind #la squadra di esecuzione #la squadra

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404fmdhaon · 4 years

Text

creative claims verification — superstar

summary: lyrical, composition & production claims for superstar warnings: none wc: 1880

when he steps into the studio inside bc — it feels like he’s in a state of limbo. nobody tells him frequency doesn’t relay to assimilation, and bc no longer feels like a home (despite how many hours he’s invested into the damn building). fuck it, he thinks. home is a piece where his body lays, imprints itself against the sofa and the chair. how his fingers rub the print raw of the keyboard, and how the grease of late-night eats come to smear against the mouse.

and if he’s had to guess the time he’s spent — it’s countless. an unlimited amount of hours ranging from the -ings of working on songs never released. yet, the cacophony brings resolve when nothing else speaks and jarred notes become a safe haven of comfort when he’s left alone in late hour spouts.

when his body shoves past the doors, head down and shoulders curved, he’s met with nothing more than the hellos of an empty room. the lights flicker on, and the computer monitor untouched. his personal space, pristine from the night before by the way the piles of clothes topple upon the corner of the room (laundry, he’ll do eventually), and the barren toothbrush sitting in the pocket of his desk (he’ll use it later tonight).

it comes piece by piece by the time he sits himself on the desk, fingers pressing the button on for the monitor to come to light. he’ll use ableton today in lieu of what logic gives when the groan of his voice becomes reminiscent of nothing more than a heavy sigh of another recording.

make this album a good one, it’s your only time.

another heavy sigh, and he wonders what it’s like to press rewind. not fast-forward nor the resume of the tides of life. it’s the full-on riptide, and he’s left lost at sea where the tempest storms drown him whole. perhaps then, life would be kinder — but that sort of wishful thinking’s left for when his hands already click away to a barren file and the other’s pounding away on a keyboard with no thought in mind.

call it an effect that comes off the tails of weeks on end finishing up a song. the drawl in his voice, the deep baritone husk enough to give proof he’s irrational at best. built up motivation plucked by inspiration from the track done prior — he tries it again. gives it another go, something similar but blandly different.

it all starts with the staccatos of a piano, the way they toss and jump illuminating the grin he has all goofy and lop-sided across his face (an effect of no sleep? or an effect of music itself? he couldn’t tell you.) the cacophony of the chords bring him back to the elementary days of picking up music the first time, his eyes crinkling the way they curve higher — still, to the third person view, it livens up to something somber.

the way the chords play a childhood book, and it’s a mere cry for help out in the open of an empty studio. he wonders how he can transpose it as the salve for the wounds gaping open — the harrowing feeling of loneliness now ripping stitch by stitch. and his only remedy? making the track flair with each and every embellishment of high-tone happiness, mimicking a circus imagery he crafts in his head. with the horns brought back, and the low-end percussion that adds with the ad-libs of snapping fingers. {it’s here he decides, the grand piano won’t do. he wants an electric key, borderline organ playing).

he saves it as a file — help.wav.

but there’s no one to reach out, when he puts his hand forth. nobody to shuttle his woes in the gentle pats, swaying back — fuck. when was he ever in the seat of consolation paired with desperation? there’s a heavy sigh that escapes his mouth, when he runs back to the pen and paper. the eye of the beholder, and he positions himself in the role of the talker. weaponry in a stagnant pen and paper becoming the sole therapist to house his woes.

no talk back, no judgements. the pen and paper listen when he forces the unease ripping away from his chest, and for a second — he thinks he can breathe. feels his lungs cuff up with air. surprise, he doesn’t pant. doesn’t get startled. doesn’t slip out of his skin when he thinks of the first word that comes to his mind — superstar.

the public paints knight as superstars, shining bright as the nation’s pick sitting pretty for the variable amount of years. (nobody ever tells you how lonely the top is. not when you’re surrounded by the bodies that become the walls to echo the voice you barely manage to sneak out when time calls). he writes down the things the public perception follows — a big house, a super car, money. honor. the limelight blinding his eyes to where it leaves him untouchable, ha. funny and incredulous, he doesn’t buy into it.

self-made, he taunts it further by the time he closes his eyes and pictures his own house they gawk at. the art curated in expensive taste, the aid of his managers and the bodies that never frequent it. seoul forest becoming his own little garden and now, the song shifts in subject when it becomes a boast of his own hard earning works.

it’s all money made from the years in knight. all the money funneled into the art that transforms his house into a galleria, and the richard mille watch that sits on his wrist. he laughs at how the ten year old learning the same chords would’ve billowed with stomach-hugging laughter at the sight of twenty-seven year old him living large, sitting on top. becoming the people on tv rather than the side shuffle of his father’s shadow.

(he writes all of this down. again and again. each one engraving its mark deep into the persona he’s been filled to become).

rap, hip hop. it all falls short when the stereotypes formulate the standard opinion: bad boys boasting about money. it’s a hopeless stereotype when he’s always five steps short of becoming whatever he’d imagine himself to be.

it’s pointless to keep up a lie. so, he tells the truth. writes down the sadness that plagues him, and the melancholy that clings when he’s sitting alone in the studio — a part of his heart empty, far stretched away to where material goods do harm than good.

he asks for help.

“i need somebody.”

the words feel uplifting, freeing by the time they meet the empty air. all tongue-tied and flustered, it’s the heat that rises again to flush out his cheeks. he writes it over and over, calls out for the help he won’t be met with tonight.

loneliness always a full-time burden.

and when another day brings freedom with recordings out of the way, no worry for knight behind the end of his i don’t give a fuck attitude, he ceases his comfort. comes to his own apartment, sitting down in the studio where the hard drive opens back to the state of disorder.

for that, he gives himself the benefit of the doubt — the feelings of home and comfort when he’s lounged out in a pair of sweats and the hoodie that wafts home. five pm, the leftovers in the fridge from the night before (he’ll eat that later, two am he bets.)

shit always go south, and by the time his phone rings and it’s another manager with another call — it’s the expectations coming to fill their predecessor: an early morning schedule the next day. gyujeong tosses the phone over his back — an aim straight to the sofa sitting pretty behind him, and he groans heavily back into the pillow that’s heard the brunt of his woes.

he wants to forget about it all. forget about it even if it’s just for a brief moment, and this all becomes some fucked up reverie he’s lost in. five minutes of solace, and he’ll take it for the hours of wary shoulders tossing and turning at night. (he remembers how to forget, plugs in his hard drive and pulls up help.wav).

the track plays with the recording he managed to finish the night — the effects of an all-nighter, and therapy in momentary bliss. he laughs, a pointed look tapered towards the empty screen as the demo takes over the silence. repeat, listen again. do it five more times, and he yanks away the beanie as his spine curves over the desk with fingers brushing past his lips. he knows what he sees. what he wants to salvage inside moments of sheer desperation where it’s the music that speaks louder than the voice that’s dwindled down in the past few years.

no punches tonight, just the clicks that compose the song into frame. his voice sounds breathy when it plays, he picks that up on the second verse, easily.

it’s bound to be a long night when he’s busy tuning his voice into something polished, less breathy. less gritty and rough when he wants the lyrics to speak to the masses that won’t read between the lines. it’s a reckoning all while a shame that he lays passive, using the music to speak on his behalf where his voice won’t raise higher.

and by the time his head bobs, and it sounds more coherent. smoother, and flexible with the flow of his original intentions, there’s something that still lacks: desperation. there’s no urge to pull the spotlight back onto him, just the five seconds of a voice in hopes someone reaches their hands out — all warm and soft against the cracked dryness of his own.

empathy, everyone says when you lack it, you’ll figure out the gaping void (they were right).

right inside each and every notion, and he bends over silently with his eyes on his screen and fingers edging to his temple, scratching then tapping. impatience flows back in when he files through the corner of his desk for a dusty mic that adds the hint to what he’s wanting: ad-libs.

it’s in the chorus where he wants to shout — call out for help. from anyone, for anyone. i need somebody becomes repeated, followed through when ‘anyone’ falls in his own voice in a multitude of different ways. soft, then harsh. loud and boisterous, passive and meek. what leaves the screen is nothing more than fifteen different ways for “anybody.” and “hello?”

he picks his favorite ones, the ones that breed desperation in the subtle movement of his voice. index finger and thumb against his chin, he taps patiently against the sides when satisfaction comes from a full picture. whole and somber with how the playback comes: belts of the music inside cheery chords, the addition of the horns then trumpets. fine-tuned by the base — then, it’s the lyrics that become the second hit, the punch that any sixth sense can pick up. hollowed out loneliness, and it’s a cry for help no longer seizing greatness nor the confines of things he’s collected over the years.

#fmdverification

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smoochews · 6 years

Note

what are your favorite writers and your top favorite works from them?? like a top ten

I saw this ask in the middle of work and I wanted to scream aksldfjalks I’m gonna tell you rn that I got really overwhelmed with the amount of authors that have earned a spot in my top favs that I actually cut this to just the authors that I have most recently visited (this counts as returning multiple times to reread a certain fic… which happens… a lot)

@arckook Ria is one of the first authors I ever read from for k-pop fanfiction. Until Ria, I was just highkey on that Haikyuu volleyball gays/imagines and I’d like to believe that she was one of the main reasons why I began to invest myself heavily into the kpop fandom. I’m always amazed with each piece she releases. Her style is so unique and hypnotizing. There’s a big section in my heart reserved just for Ria that I don’t have enough words to convey. plz support. plz love. she’s the best

- To The Stars (Jungkook, BTS): Zombie Apocalypse AU, Enemies to Lovers AU, series, violence, angst, drama

This read is not for the light hearted. You have been warned. You will sob hysterically. You will feel rage seep into your bones. You will punch a hole in your screen. MC is an entire badass, but so broken and vulnerable; somehow she manages to keep herself together and carry on. Even when she hates Jungkook with every cell in her body, she makes sure to keep him alive, watch his six, just as he does for her. There’s only a handful of works that have kept me as heavily invested and on my toes every step of the way. And that list begins with To The Stars

@brokeandjetlagged I cannot tell you how many times I’ve made a fool out of myself in public while reading Bailey’s work…. like lord help me I can’t stay in my chair…

- We Take A Shot (Baekhyun, EXO): Office AU, boss!Baekhyun, one-shot, fluff

Even after re-reading it 2-3 times, I cannot help the obnoxious laughter escaping my mouth….sounding something along the lines of a screeching seagull. Dorky Baekhyun trying to be Mr. Businessman really killed me. LIKE PLZ THE HOVER BOARD asdfjsj I’m laughing just thinking about it

- Hurt Me, Heal Me (Yixing, EXO): Hospital AU, nurse!Yixing, one-shot, fluff

Honestly, I would pay to be Baekhyun in that moment. Someone kick me in the face if that meant I could spend some time with nurse Yixing. He’s so adorable and I highly relate to MC being a mess when he thinks that she’s Baek’s girlfriend. Overall, this fic makes my heart go kyuu~

- Bromance .2 (Minseok, EXO) : College AU, frat!Minseok, enemies to lovers AU, series (ish), fluff, smut, drama

enemies to lovers…. honestly I’m not entirely sure of what to say other than that you should read it

@sehun-smut ngl. one of the reasons, besides me passing out, that this rec list took so long to make is bc I stopped to re-read both of these fics…. no ragrats… I don’t think you’ll understand until you read all of their work… so like… you know what to do…

- Business in the Front (Baekhyun,EXO): Restaurant AU (ish), one-shot, smut

Older Baekhyun is a kink okay. I’ve never wanted to call someone daddy more in my life than while reading this fic… and like to begin with it’s hard for me to imagine Baek being zaddy, so that should say A LOT.

- Deceitful (Chanyeol, EXO) - Mafia AU, series, smut, violence

I think this is the first honeytrapper fic I’ve ever read in my life. I mean I was aware of the job description but not the actual title. I must say I’m thoroughly aroused and equally terrified.

@exhoe-imagines I really adore Ruby and Jewels. Like, they’re so funny and interactive with their followers; and their content is always breath taking. highkey power couple energy

- Can’t Hold Back (Jongdae, EXO): Enemies to Lovers AU, one-shot, smut, drama, slight angst

You already know Jongdae is fucked the minute he sees MC’s bathing suit on the ground while she’s in the pool. You already know that when he went home that evening, his meat was begging for mercy by the end of the night. jfladskjf okay I’m gross, I know, but carrying on– the growth between Jongdae’s and MCs relationship is really heartwarming. Could not have asked for more from this fic

- Lucky (Baekhyun + Chanyeol, EXO): College AU, one-shot, smut

So…. let’s talk about the elephant in the room… or should we say two? bc there is definitely more than one trunk for MC to handle… so…. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GET WREKT MC

@yehet-me-up I will never not be in love with Sarah. Her Exodus Mall series really takes me back home. Often times when I’m feeling down and sick, I return to Sarah’s page and re-read that series. To say the least, I find home in Sarah’s writing.

- The Problem With Wanting (Kyungsoo, EXO): Mall AU, series, fluff, slight angst, smut

listen to this song and just take it in…. I think this was the first fic I read from the Exodus series and it will always hold a special place in my heart. This fic in particular is what I find myself coming back to again and again, time after time, and I always feel renewed. I feel youthful. More like… you know that feeling you get when you realize you’re falling in love with someone? That’s this. Please read. Please.

- Disqualified (Kyungsoo, EXO): Friends to Lovers AU, one-shot, angst, fluff

Imagine twisting a knife in your gut and slowly removing it through the opposite side of your body. That’s this fic. But like. With love. askdjflksjd I really love the way Sarah portrays Kyungsoo. Her descriptions of his thoughts, mannerisms and quirks make me feel like I’m watching a movie. Everything is so distinct and the atmosphere feels tangible. idk words. I just love Sarah.

@snakescript I don’t know too much about this author but I’m totally and completely enamored with their writings.

- Make The Devil Cry (Taeyong, NCT) : College AU, one-shot, light angst, smut

I’m weak for the “playboy” tamer… and tbh I feel like this would be Taeyong irl. Hard and complex to the eyes of an observer, but a major softy and sweet pea to the eyes of a listener. I’m upset of how little attention this fic has bc the world is really missing out on a diamond.

- Face Like Thunder (Chanyeol, EXO): Mythology/Greek God AU, one-shot, light angst, fluff

I would like to file a complaint. My heart is crying and my love for Chanyeol is soaring and I’m ACHE FOR THE MAN. Lmao I’m not even a Chanyeol stan but this fic got me thinkin’

@johobi you can always count on Jo to make you cream your pants in the middle of Target (stay away from the baby section kids)

- Bloom / Snared (Yoonji/Yoongi, BTS): Mafia AU, smut

honestly, Yoonji can wipe the floor with my body, in pool of my own blood, and I would thank her. I really really love the way Jo depicts Yoonji here. I can just feel that fem fetal power and that in itself got me ruining my underwear.

- Tooth and Claw (Jungkook, BTS) : Werewolf AU, smut

I’ve never related to furry more in my life than while I read this fic. high key wanna be rawed and torn in half by his king kong schlong … idk how MC survived, but she’s my idol.

- Dig Deep + Interval (Yoongi, BTS): Space AU, smut

I’m ngl. I really went to Pornhub and looked up tentacle porn after reading this. Y’all can @ me, roast me if you like,,,, but you’re a got-damn liar if you say this doesn’t get your blood pumping. p sure I wrote this on my tags but i didn’t even know I liked tentacle porn until then…. I hate myself

@bread-jinie idk where to start…. there are so many things I can say about Kat…… im tongue-tied….

- Wings (Chanyeol, EXO): Friends to Lovers AU, angst, fluff

I think this fic is my favorite work Kat has written so far. It’s like she knows the right words to tug the strings of my heart and play me like a puppet. A heartbroken but hopeful puppet. MC and Chanyeol always looking at each other but never at the same time breaks me; thankfully, the ending patches me back together.

Honorable mentions bc I’ve grown v tired and cannot continue with full details for info regarding everything, in addition to the fact that I’m inpatient and I want to post this ASAP:

@kollectionn GOD SENT. DO NOT PLAY AROUND. YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE. YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. THE WORLD WILL END AS YOU KNOW IT. THEN BE REBORN FROM THE ASHES AS C WILLS IT SO. (sorry for the all caps but I feel INTENSELY about C and her works of art; If I can recall correctly, I believe she said that she would begin to write her own non-fanfic when she finds the time. I think she has the power and ability to write best selling novels that would leave J.K. Rowling quaking in her boots. Plz go and love C. Don’t ask for updates. Just show her all the love she deserves and more; I haven’t been lately and I feel terrible for it; I hope she knows I love her!!!)

@dropsofletters lemme tell you somm’… this author is so talented and diverse in her work that I find myself scattered with the amounts of fandom’s she holds in her clutch. I’m so thankful to have found her page on this godforsaken website bc she caters so much to this world. Talented. Spectacular. Amazing. Blessing to Society. I don’t think I’ve found any multi-fandom writers that has spread out as far as she has. She’s one of those authors that has exactly what you’re looking for, even if you don’t know what it is. An Angel.

@layhyunnie beautiful. ethereal. whimsical. Inspiring. I mean literally inspiring. I wrote a few drabbles after reading Guardian bc I wanted to try and bring to life a world outside of our own, to step outside reality, just like I felt while reading their work.

- Guardian (Yixing, EXO): Supernatural AU, series, fluff

Again… I’m v tired… so here’s a short list of authors I meant to add here, along with their fics/full details of why I love them:

@knockknocksoosthere / @underthejoon @marshmallow-phd @kpopfanfictrash @yeolology @yeolology @whimsical-ness @remembeo @lofiexo @nochugguk @noona-clock @noonachronicles @oilblotter @soobadnoonecanstopher

((If you would like to know more about my interests in the unfinished authors, or any authors above for that matter, then please leave me an ask!! I will answer them when I am no longer tired akjsjdf I cannot reply via chat as this is only a side blog))

#i hate u anon #did u really wanna kill me #jk sjfdsdjf #i cant hate u #i hope you like it ;;#also at all the authors i've reblogged from... you are my favorite.... im just v tired and only have 2 brain cells left #paep speaks #asks #anon #exo #bts #exo fic recs #bts fic recs

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vaalinors · 7 years

Text

you’re the anchor (that i tied to my brain)

Edward Elric to the last jedi 9 pm DON’T BE FUCKING LATE IM TALKIN TO U YAO: pray tell where the fuck is my brother

Edward Elric: it is 8 o fucking clock

Edward Elric: im locked the fuck out of the house

Edward Elric: and al STILL ISN’T BACK FROM HIS GODFUCK SHITHOLE DATE

Paninya: ed take a deep breath n hurl urself into a pond or smth

Paninya: als been freakin out about mei for at least 38478392 years now

Paninya: let him relieve his thirst

Paninya: AND BTW THIS IS UR OWN DAMN FAULT

Edward Elric: how in The FUCK???? is this MY FAULT??????

Paninya: u couldve had a perfectly gross dorm on campus bUT NO U HAD TO BE BOUJEE N RENT AN APARTMENT WITH UR BROTHER

Edward Elric: IM ONLY LOCKED OUT BC AL LOST HIS GODDAMN KEY AND I

Edward Elric: BEING THE SAINTLY BROTHER THAT I AM

Ling Yao: w0w thats a lie

Edward Elric: GAVE HIM MINE AND NOW I GOTTA SCREAM AT HIM TILL HE PUTS HIS TONGUE BACK IN HIS OWN MOUTH AND COMES THE FUCK BACK

Winry Rockbell: u reeaaallly dont gotta

Paninya: have u heard??? of this thing??????

Paninya: called????? pm?????????????

Paninya: bc its a thing u could use to bitch at al without annoyin the entire shit outta the rest of us

Ling Yao: lol lan fans at her grandpas rn and her phone cant be put on silent

Ling Yao: shes going to kick ur ass

Edward Elric: IM gonna kick ALS ass if he doesnt show up in the next half hour I DONT CARE IF HES ON A FUCKIN DATE

Ling Yao: may i remind u my sister is the girl ur brothers currently wooing

Ling Yao: u do that and lan fan wont be the only one kicking ur ass

Edward Elric: what think u can take me weakLing

Ling Yao: uh duh but i was talking about mei

Edward Elric: PLS shes what half a foot tall????? PLSSSSSSS

Lan Fan: so twice as tall as you

Edward Elric: DO,,,,,U WANT,,,,,,.,TO FUCKING DIE,,,,,,,.,.,,,,

Lan Fan: edward

Lan Fan: i am at my grandfathers house

Lan Fan: my phone is ringing so loud my neighbors think their doorbells r broken

Lan Fan: my grandfather is ready to smash it into oblivion

Lan Fan: if he does we WILL be reliving 3/10 and youll be tasting a lot more than just your stomach acid when im done with you

Lan Fan: do not make me sneak out of training to answer you again

Paninya: Rekt™

Ling Yao: mic drop

Edward Elric: psh whatever

Edward Elric: u fuckers think 3/10 scared me

Edward Elric: GUESS FUCKING AGAIN

Edward Elric: FUCKING C O M E A T M E

Paninya: o look shes typing

Edward Elric: anyway im gonna pm al goodnight and thank u

Winry Rockbell to is it gay to want to literally drink ushers voice: OI AL how was the date

Winry Rockbell: I WANT DETAILS

Edward Elric: if anyone wants to know how to be the Creepiest Fucking Person Ever

Edward Elric: talk to winry

Winry Rockbell: well seeing that i won best ed impression two years in a row now id say i do indeed know

Edward Elric: HAR DE HAR

Edward Elric: u think u fucking know me???

Alphonse Elric: Is it hard?

Paninya: yea all u rlly gotta do is yell fuck a lot

Alphonse Elric: Put ur hair in a braid with one obnoxious ass strand sticking right up

Winry Rockbell: dont forget u have to crouch down

Winry Rockbell: i recommend kneeling

Edward Elric: dont think i cant deck all u shitdicks

Ling Yao: ive just annoyed the info out of my sister

Ling Yao: it seems al is quite the casanova

Ling Yao: clearly not a family trait BUT

Edward Elric: i will piss in ur backpack

Ling Yao: case in point

Ling Yao: ANYWAYS UPDATE ON THE BET FRONT

Ling Yao: as im sure u all know ned, roy mustang and i have had an ongoing wager AKA who can wrangle the most freshies into joining his club

Ling Yao: well as of today the martial arts/dance troupe has 20 more members

Edward Elric: BULLSHIT

Ling Yao: and i believe that pulls me ahead of ned to tie evenly with mustang

Ling Yao: and really would any of u choose archery over martial arts??

Paninya: tbh i choose social life over any clubs but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: basic bitch

Paninya: u kno it

Paninya: but srsly wtf shifty how did u get 20 new members so fast

Lan Fan: he showed off and gave his number out to like half of them

Ling Yao: :O how could u EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS

Ling Yao: I tRuSTeD YOu

Lan Fan: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: just u fuckin wait ling

Edward Elric: ill leave both u asshats in the GROUND

Alphonse Elric: I mean first u have to

Alphonse Elric: Yknow

Alphonse Elric: Be taller than the ground

Edward Elric: I LIVE WITH U I CAN MAKE UR LIFE FUCKING MISERABLE U HEAR

Winry Rockbell to kyle ron WHOMST???: so about laser tag this weekend

Winry Rockbell: invite lings sister yay or nay

Lan Fan: why not

Rosé Thomas: It’d even us out

Rebecca Catalina: does it even matter tbh we all kno whichever team rizas on is gonna win

Riza Hawkeye: Catalina i resent that statement

Rebecca Catalina: pls point to me where thE LIE IS HAWKEYE

Winry Rockbell: ok then

Winry Rockbell added Mei Chang to the chat

Paninya: EY UVE JUST BECOME PART OF THE MESS THAT IS US SOPHS

Maria Ross: and a few seniors

Paninya: WE’RE BASICALLY A KPOP GROUP BUT BETTER (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

Lan Fan: ok we’re going laser tagging this weekend you in

Mei Chang: i feel like i may die if i say no so as long as my idiot brother isn’t going i’m in

Paninya to could u actually perhaps makin bacon pancakes: [DELETED MESSAGE]

Ling Yao: wot

Alphonse Elric: Whos going laser tagging

Winry Rockbell: pan ffs

Paninya: (◔◡◔✿)

Edward Elric: fuckin RUDE

Lan Fan to Panko: what is it

Panko: i have no idea what u mean my dear

Lan Fan: uve been typing for an hour now AND i can hear your teeth grinding from my room

Panko: i have no idea what u could be referring to my sweet

Panko: i just wanna kno how ur days been

Lan Fan: this is about ling isnt it

Panko: dear

Panko: u used an emoji

Panko: u never use emojis

Lan Fan: look i get that youre just looking out for me

Lan Fan: but its fine and so am i

Lan Fan: i really dont need a pity heart to heart

Lan Fan: besides hed give out his number to everyone in the world if he could thats just who he is

Panko: well ur not wrong

Panko: is it bad to say im so glad i rarely have to deal with bois

Lan Fan: girls can be idiots too

Panko: ppl in general usually r

Alphonse Elric to WE CANT KEEP DOWN ALL THAT VODKA ON KRAFT MAC N CHEESE: So i cant feel

Ling Yao: mY FACE WHEN IM WITH U

Alphonse Elric: That and the rest of my body

Alphonse Elric: How is one person so funny and sweet and amazing

Paninya: MY SON HES IN LOVE YALL

Paninya: ITS TRUE FUCKIN LOVE

Paninya: ELRIC 2.0 TEXT ME IF U NEED ANYTHIN

Paninya: CONDOMS

Winry Rockbell: oh god

Paninya: BIRTH CONTROL

Edward Elric: PAN WHAT THE FUCK U THINK AL KNOWS WHAT A CONDOM IS

Paninya: HE IS A HORNY TEENAGE BOI I BET U MY ENTIRE ASS HES USED ONE BEFORE

Lan Fan: PANINYA

Mei Chang: uh

Paninya: oh fuck

Ling Yao: mei so it was U that made that balloon fart noise just now

Lan Fan: ling kindly shut up

Edward Elric: SO AL ISNT BREATHING I THINK HES DEAD

Edward Elric: HES BEEN STARING AT HIS PHONE FOR 10 MINS NOW FUCK WHAT DO I DO

Paninya: CALL 911 U MORON

Lan Fan: where do you live i know CPR

Ling Yao: thats hot

Winry Rockbell: MEI PRETEND U CANT READ

Mei Chang: er i can’t read suddenly i don’t know

Ling Yao: (╯°□°)╯now she gives in to the memes

Edward Elric: ok nvm hes alive

Edward Elric: buT I M NOT GONNA BE FUC KBRB RUNNINGgh

Paninya: rip in peace

Alphonse Elric to how Extra™ do u gotta be to come up with fuccboi: So we’re still down for gta tomorrow right

Alphonse Elric: Ed cant make it because i killed him

Ling Yao: the old ed cant come to the phone right now

Ling Yao: why

Edward Elric: because hes going to cut off lings fucking elbows

Roy Mustang: can you even reach his fingers

Edward Elric: listeN HERE U liL SHIT

Alphonse Elric kicked Edward Elric from the chat

Ling Yao: thats cold

Ling Yao added Edward Elric to the chat

Roy Mustang: i knew it couldnt last

Edward Elric: if any of u polefucks ever want to know how to get ling to do something bother lan fan

Ling Yao: try it again and i will Key Your Face

Ling Yao: she has a physics test tomorrow

Alphonse Elric: Wow

Roy Mustang: :O

Jean Havoc: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edward Elric: i got the beer for tmr night

Alphonse Elric: Damn right u do im not letting u in otherwise

Edward Elric: ignore asshurt over here hes pissed i embarrassed him in front of his date

Roy Mustang: at least he has one

Jean Havoc: yeah have u ever had a girlfriend edward??

Denny Brosh: Do you know what a woman is ned????

Edward Elric has left the chat

Ling Yao to Good Shit ✔💯: hey lan fan

Ling Yao: LAN FAAAAAN

Good Shit ✔💯: what

Ling Yao: guess who i just saw in chem doodling one miss rockbells name on his hw

Good Shit ✔💯: no

Ling Yao: oh yes

Ling Yao: i wanted to take a pic but ed decided to be a good student and tore it off before handing it in

Good Shit ✔💯: does he even try in chem

Ling Yao: no but at least he doesnt fall asleep like he does in lit

Good Shit ✔💯: hemingway puts everyone to sleep

Good Shit ✔💯: read some brontë or steinbeck

Good Shit ✔💯: id say dickens too but anti Semitism and all

Ling Yao: i love it when u talk lit to me

Ling Yao: reminds me of when u used to sneak into our library and read the biggest books u could find

Good Shit ✔💯: better than you climbing up the side of my house to sneak into my room

Ling Yao: pls u loved it

Good Shit ✔💯: debatable

Good Shit ✔💯: club meetings today dont forget

Ling Yao: how can i ur always here to remind me ;)

Winry Rockbell added Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Maria Ross, and Rebecca Catalina to ROSE TYLER DEFENSE SQUAD WHERE YALL AT

Winry Rockbell: just so we’re clear friday nights a byob sitch

Lan Fan: well wade was totally off

Ling Yao: atta girl

Paninya: wow and here i was thinkin byob meant bug ur own business

Edward Elric: what the utter fuck

Alphonse Elric: Dont act coy u LIVED a bugs life ed

Winry Rockbell: BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE CAPICHE

Winry Rockbell: jesus now ive got the kim possible theme song stuck in my head

Edward Elric: if one of u picks yoshi i will e n d u

Paninya: no promises n its not our fault yoshi pushed ur fool ass off mushroom gorge that one time

Rebecca Catalina: LMAOOO

Edward Elric: that demonic fucking dinosaur needs to go extinct

Roy Mustang: since brosh doesnt give a shit do we want to make this a floor thing

Ling Yao: i see what ur doing mercedes benz u sneak ass

Roy Mustang: you caught up yao i can finally start trying

Edward Elric: news flash fuckers i got 5 more ppl today u can both suck my ASS

Winry Rockbell: ok but keep it small

Lan Fan: ,,,,,,,

Maria Ross: this is why timing’s important kids

Ling Yao: how much smaller could his butt get

Roy Mustang: are we even be able to locate it

Rebecca Catalina: does ned even have a torso????

Edward Elric: I HOPE U ALL ROT IN HELL

Paninya changed the chat name to eds ass is bigfoot pass it on

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: is it weird that i cant stop smiling at ed

Winry Rockbell: hes sleeping in the chair across from me

Mulan but Better: a bit

Winry Rockbell: yeah

Winry Rockbell: hes such a nerd

Mulan but Better: but hes your nerd

Roy Mustang changed the chat name to WHO TE HFUCKS IDEA WAS IT O MAKE THIS AFLOOR THING

Edward Elric changed the chat name to URS U FUCKING CURLY STRAW

Paninya to wubba lubba dub dub: all of u need to see this Spicy™ video of ed from last night

Winry Rockbell: pan its 9 fucking am

Winry Rockbell: who tf is up that cares

Paninya: o dont u worry winnie the pooh

Lan Fan: yep shes still drunk

Paninya: i think ed will when he stops groaning in the bathroom there

Paninya sent a video in the chat

Paninya: srsly im postin this on ig later

Winry Rockbell: SHIT thats loud

Alphonse Elric: What the fuck is that

Riza Hawkeye: Is

Riza Hawkeye: Is he singing mad world

Paninya: u bet ur blonde ass he is

Lan Fan: was this after we took turns playing yoshi and demolishing him in mario kart

Paninya: u bet ur toned ass it was

Winry Rockbell: paninya i can barely hear anything over u shouting STRIP STRIP STRIP in the bg

Ling Yao: edward really is tone deaf isnt he

Ling Yao: oh hes stopped puking

Ling Yao: hes looking at his phone

Alphonse Elric: Rip in peace our bloodshot eyes

Edward Elric: wHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS IS THAT

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DID U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DO TO MY PHONE

Ling Yao: HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD

Roy Mustang: dear jesus what is happening

Paninya: oH MY WHICH ONE OF U DID THIS

Paninya: I WILL K I S S U

Mei Chang: there is way too much shouting this goddamn early in the morning

Ling Yao: while u were busy cackling over that video i may or may not have convinced lan fan to steal eds phone

Edward Elric: U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS BETTER ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIX MY ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS PHONE OR IM ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Jean Havoc: hes like an infuriated duck with a lisp

Roy Mustang: siri what is the tiniest species of duck

Edward Elric: U WANNA ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIGHT

Paninya: pls tell me one of u hungover fucks is gettin this on video

Mei Chang: lan fan u okay?

Lan Fan: yeah too much shouting i have a headache

Lan Fan: add me back when ed calms down (◕ ‿ ◕✿)

Lan Fan has left the chat

Paninya: hey ed ill bet even yoshi can say fuck

Edward Elric: FOR ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS SAKE

Lan Fan to Guns n Roses: hey

Lan Fan: i dont know where you are rn

Lan Fan: im still sort of hungover and i kind of need someone to talk to who isnt going to get angry or

Lan Fan: try and rationalize everything and well

Lan Fan: do you ever just wish that things could change

Lan Fan: that you could be someone entirely different or that you could get out and leave and not give a damn about anything or anyone or

Lan Fan: because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Guns n Roses: Okay i was at work but i’m coming back right now

Guns n Roses: And i’m going to get you tea and you’re going to tell me whatever you want to tell me okay??

Lan Fan: thanks

Paninya to ID SING OH CANADA TOO IF MY PM HAD AN ASS LIKE THAT: ok but for real

Paninya: dicks r like mushrooms

Paninya: little funny gross mushrooms

Rosé Thomas: Paninya you’re high go home

Paninya: oh sweet flower i wish i was

Winry Rockbell: its 4 fucking am GO TO SLEEP

Paninya: time is an illusion

Paninya to TRICKY tricky TRICKY tricky: i crave the sweet release of death

Edward Elric: FUCKING KARMA

Winry Rockbell: i could hear u playing music at 5 am again today why tf have u been up so late

Paninya: my roommate was screaming french at me

Paninya: she has a test today

Paninya: also

Paninya added Lan Fan to the chat

Paninya: LAN FANNNNNNNN

Lan Fan: i didnt do the psych hw paninya

Lan Fan: and run-dmc doesnt deserve this subpar treatment

Alphonse Elric: Lan fan

Alphonse Elric: Lings been looking for u

Lan Fan: i know its ok dont worry about it

Edward Elric: A FUCKING BIRD JUST SHAT ON MY HEAD

Paninya: what was that????? u said???????

Paninya: about karma?????????

Edward Elric: WHAT IS THIS LITERAL SHIT ON ED DAY

Lan Fan: is that not everyday

Edward Elric: I WILL FIGHT ALL U ASSDICKS

Lan Fan: 3/10 edward

Edward Elric: i will fight me for only i myself am the one assdick here thank u amen and goodbye

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: so i hear you were looking for me

Literal Monkey™: that depends

Literal Monkey™: what did i do lan fan

Literal Monkey™: did i say something

Literal Monkey™: tell me what i did that made you so upset at me

Literal Monkey™: if i did something im sorry i really am but you cant just disappear and not even tell me whats wrong

Lan Fan: i know

Lan Fan: it wasnt you i just

Lan Fan: my grandfathers relapse and its been rough with classes lately

Lan Fan: it kind of hit me that i cant always afford to be chill all the time

Lan Fan: sorry ive been mia

Literal Monkey™: well now i feel like a dick

Literal Monkey™: ur my best friend lan fan and i think ive gotten so used to u being near i freak out when ur not

Literal Monkey™: i guess it kind of says something about me that might not be a good thing

Literal Monkey™: especially since i climbed the side of ur house to see if u went back home and u werent there

Lan Fan: you w h a t

Ling Yao to Frying Pan: in hindsight

Ling Yao: i prob shouldnt have told her about the climbing

Ling Yao: shes not talking to me again

Frying Pan: u done fucked up boiii

Ling Yao: so will u tell me whats really wrong with her now

Frying Pan: not a chance boiii

Winry Rockbell to Wannabe Alchemist: hey i know its kind of sudden

Winry Rockbell: and u prob have other things to do

Wannabe Alchemist: nah im free shoot

Winry Rockbell: could u maybe come with me this weekend

Wannabe Alchemist: …are u sure

Wannabe Alchemist: i mean of course ill go hell even if i had a meeting with the goddamn president id skip it to go anywhere with u

Wannabe Alchemist: but i dont want to overstep my right or anything

Winry Rockbell: no ed u could never impose

Winry Rockbell: its just been kind of a shit year

Winry Rockbell: i dont know if i can handle going to visit them alone this time

Wannabe Alchemist: dont worry im there for u

Wannabe Alchemist: whatever u need

Winry Rockbell: i

Winry Rockbell: thanks ed

Wannabe Alchemist: theyd be proud of u win

Winry Rockbell: :)

Winry Rockbell: not to degrade ur sentiment or anything because damn ed u can be sweet

Winry Rockbell: but id do buttfuck anything besides meet with our president

Wannabe Alchemist: i read that as u would butt fuck anything but shit u right

Mei Chang to “3/10 WASNT EVEN THAT BAD” famous last words: paninya was that you outside my school trying to sell taylor swift tshirts

Lan Fan: paninya what the hell

Paninya: ok HS GIRLS EAT TSWIFT UP

Mei Chang: you looked stalkerish as hell my principal was going to call the police

Winry Rockbell: just burn them in a rusty can like the ratchet ho u are

Paninya: what is This Disrespect™ n pls im not gonna burn them that merch cost me lk 984759 bucks

Lan Fan: sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and why tf would u sell them taylor swift is finally getting interesting

Winry Rockbell: yeah shes finally being savage af isnt this what u signed up for

Paninya: hey i signed up for Drama Taylor

Paninya: this is just plain whoring for attention

Alphonse Elric: Not sure those terms are mutually exclusive

Edward Elric: HOLY FUCK

Lan Fan: speaking of whoring for attention

Edward Elric: I GOT MUSTANG TO PLAY LEAGUE

Edward Elric: went straight for brand the dumb fucking pyromaniac

Alphonse Elric: Can i just remind u that ur first time ur jerk ass went right for garen

Edward Elric: GAREN is a PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD CHAMPION TO GO FOR WHEN UR A NOOB DUMBASS

Alphonse Elric: Sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and a bit like neds trying to compensate for something

Edward Elric: U ALL AINT SHIT

Lan Fan: its yaint

Ling Yao: u uncultured fuck

Paninya: k first of all lol is a game for 13 year old prepubescent boys

Lan Fan: so perfect for edward

Edward Elric: DONT FUCKING TRY U KNOW UR A HO FOR AKALI

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,,,dont say 3/10 u know i would rather fucking die

Lan Fan: then perish

Alphonse Elric: Ed did U make that whale noise

Winry Rockbell: the real question here is paninya???? can actually spell???????? words???????? whAT??????

Paninya: SECOND OF ALL any of u want tswift shirts hmu (◡‿◡✿)

Edward Elric: taylor swift is fucking great why the fuck would u sell them

Winry Rockbell: ………..

Alphonse Elric: ……………………

Paninya: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Lan Fan changed the chat name to ill take edward elric is fake Punk Rock™ for 800 alex

Edward Elric: OI U CAN BE PUNK ROCK AND STILL LISTEN TO GUILTY PLEASURE POP

Winry Rockbell: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK

Rosé Thomas added Mei Chang, Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, and Riza Hawkeye to Unnamed

Paninya changed the chat name to PROJECT LINGFAN

Paninya: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP

Alphonse Elric: What the hell is lingfan

Paninya: PLS WITHHOLD ALL QUESTIONS TILL THE END OF THE BRIEFING MY PRECIOUS CHILD

Winry Rockbell: she continues??? to spell????? correctly???????? what i am amazed?????????????

Paninya: ROCKBELL FULL OFFENSE STFU

Winry Rockbell: rude

Paninya: SO EVERYONE HERE KNOWS OUR GOOD FRIEND LING YAO AKA SHIFTY AKA MONKEY BOI AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Mei Chang: if i say no can i leave

Paninya: AND EVERYONE ALSO KNOWS MY SPICY GIRL LIGHT OF MY LIFE LAN FAN AKA DEFINITION OF BADASS AKA EDS WORST NIGHTMARE AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Edward Elric: she is not my worst fucking nightmare

Mei Chang: so you don’t turn into a stuttering baby every time she brings up 3/10

Edward Elric: U WERENT THERE U DONT FUCKING K N O W

Paninya: AND EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT THOSE 2 HAVE THE BIGGEST RAGING BONERS FOR EACH OTHER THAT ANYONES EVER FUCKIN SEEN YEA

Winry Rockbell: i feel like there was a better way of putting that

Edward Elric: wait hold THE FUCK UP ur fucking with me right

Roy Mustang: yes edward

Roy Mustang: she made an entire separate chat and invited all these people just so she could fuck with you

Alphonse Elric: Thats literally what the normal group chat is for wtf ned

Edward Elric: what the UTTER FUCK???? LING AND LAN FAN????????

Rosé Thomas: You were right winry he’s blind

Alphonse Elric: Dude how the hell are u so ignorant

Riza Hawkeye: Edward are you really unaware of this

Edward Elric: HOW DO U ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS WHAT THE FUCK

Roy Mustang: id ask if you saw them at the floor party but i remembered you were too busy practicing for your x factor audition

Paninya: OK ED SINCE UR CLEARLY THE OBLIVIOUSEST FUCKING PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE GODDAMN PLANET

Winry Rockbell: obliviousest

Winry Rockbell: i knew it wouldnt last

Paninya: LET ME JUST HIT U WITH SOME EXAMPLES

Paninya: LAN FAN NEVER BLUSHES UNLESS U MENTION LING TO HER AND THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE C H I L D H O O D

Paninya: WHEN LAN FAN SHATTERED HER ARM IN FRESHMAN YEAR LING CARRIED HER HALFWAY TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL AND SLEPT NEXT TO HER SICKBED FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK SHE WAS THERE

Roy Mustang: he threatened to and i quote ‘key your face’ if you bothered her again

Winry Rockbell: lan fan only shattered her arm that time because some dumbass thugs tried to jump ling in order to threaten his dad

Mei Chang: whenever lan fan doesnt answer him right away he gets all huffy and paces for hours and checks his phone like 500 times until she replies LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES

Paninya: LITERALLY TODAY OK RIZA CAN CONFIRM IM WALKIN TO MEET LAN FAN FOR PSYCH AND I SEE HER PRACTICING A FUCKING KARATE MOVE OR SOME SHIT WITH LING ON THE QUAD

Paninya: SHE STARTS LAUGHING AND I SWEAR ON MY FANTASTIC ASS LING STARES AT HER FOR 10 WHOLE MINS

Paninya: SHES BENDING HIS LEG FARTHER THAN ANY LEG SHOULD BEND AND HES LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHES THE ONLY DAMN THING WORTH KNOWING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKIN UNIVERSE

Paninya: THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENIN FOR YEARS I CANT EVEN WITH THEIR UNNECESSARY ANGST ANYMORE

Paninya: THEY NEED TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE I ACTUALLY FUCKIN EXPLODE JFC (╯✿◕益◕)╯︵ ┻━┻

Riza Hawkeye: That is indeed what happened

Rosé Thomas: And that’s why we made this chat

Rosé Thomas: So all of you can experience our pain

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,

Alphonse Elric: Seriously wtf is a lingfan

Mei Chang to pacific rim uprising is the sequel we didnt know we wanted and always needed no one fight me on this: you all know my name is mei right

Paninya: first time im hearin it

Mei Chang: because my calc teacher doesnt

Winry Rockbell: oh god what does he call u

Mei Chang: literally ‘mee’

Edward Elric: RIP IN FUCKING PEACE

Paninya: wot in tarnation

Ling Yao: u mean wot in pronunciation

Mei Chang: mee-eye is okay and mYE sure but MEE

Paninya: dw a teacher called me panYEA once lk??? bless u????

Edward Elric: omfg PETITION TO CALL PANINYA PANYEAH FROM NOW ON

Lan Fan: panno

Winry Rockbell: a teacher called me wine-ry in fifth grade like how in the actual fuck could u mess win-ree up

Edward Elric: maybe bc u were indeed hella whiny

Winry Rockbell: at least she knew i was there u were too smol to see over the table

Alphonse Elric: Better loud than nonexistent

Edward Elric: GTFO AL I WAS FUCKING TALLER THAN U

Paninya: “was”

Mei Chang: in any case i’m done trying to correct him hello yes my name is mee

Ling Yao: and wen it nite

Paninya: wtf r u on ling yao n where can i get some

Winry Rockbell: its another fucking meme i stg lan fan pls control this boy

Lan Fan: the kalc teachre cannt saye it rhite

Ling Yao: vINdICatION

Edward Elric to PROJECT LINGFAN: fuck this they gotta be in love

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: hey theyre selling stroop waffles outside the bio building

Winry Rockbell: i can grab some for u if ur in class

Winry Rockbell: wait is that u in line

Winry Rockbell: are u wearing a lab coat

Winry Rockbell: u ran out of class didnt u

Winry Rockbell: did u not even bother to take off ur goggles u look like a nerdy terminator

Winry Rockbell: how many are u buying holy shit ARE U STUFFING THEM IN UR LABORATORY COAT POCKETS

Winry Rockbell: DID U JUST N A R U T O R U N OUT OF THE QUAD

Mulan but Better: why are you still asking me you know the answers yes

Roy Mustang to My Queen™: theyre selling stroop waffles right now

My Queen™: Has ling gotten there yet

Roy Mustang: theyre no longer selling stroop waffles right now

Rosé Thomas to 7 excellents and LAN FAN THE WAFFLE TRAITOR: It’s official

Rosé Thomas: Mustang won the bet

Winry Rockbell: wow i forgot that was still going on

Maria Ross: how’s ed taking it

Rosé Thomas: Oh how you would think he’d take it

Paninya: EYYYY EDS GONNA ATTRACT THE CAMPUS POPO AGAIN

Roy Mustang to PROJECT LINGFAN (WHAT IS A LINGFAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALREADY): if ling lost the bet he had to choose

Roy Mustang: either actually outright confess to lan fan or end whatever it is they have

Paninya: Y TF WOULD U GIVE HIM THE SECOND OPTION ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS STOP DANCIN AROUND EACH OTHER N BANG

Alphonse Elric: Paninya its more complicated than that

Paninya: WHAT IN THE 7TH RING OF HELL COULD BE SO COMPLICATED ABOUT THIS

Mei Chang: long story short

Mei Chang: our familys shit deep in politics

Mei Chang: either ling gets in there shit deep too or hes married off

Edward Elric: well fuck

Rosé Thomas: Lan fan knows

Rosé Thomas: When she messaged me after the party i found out that this is why she was so upset

Rosé Thomas: Apparently a drunk ling told her that she should leave him because ‘he’s scared about what would happen if he stopped caring and she deserves better than a coward’

Paninya: well now i feel like shit

Mei Chang: welcome to my world

Mei Chang to Secret Swiftie: remember how you came to my school and almost got arrested

Mei Chang: a couple of girls are asking about your tshirts

Secret Swiftie: call it what u want is a fuckin eargasm I TAKE IT ALL BACK ALL OF IT

Secret Swiftie: I HAVE HEARD AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE A N G E L

Mei Chang: great i’ll tell them you died

Lan Fan to WHOS FAKE PUNK ROCK NOW U FILTHY FUCKING HYPOCRITES P A N I N Y A: has anyone seen my book

Paninya: what book is it

Lan Fan: howard’s end

Alphonse Elric: Forsters great

Winry Rockbell: sorry i havent

Lan Fan: its fine i probably left it in the studio

Ling Yao: oi i was just kicked out of the dining hall what kind of DISRESPECT

Paninya: k but u were eatin all the soup

Ling Yao: is that a crime now

Winry Rockbell: u took the entire pot ling

Lan Fan: you didnt even try to be stealthy about it you just ran back to your seat giggling

Mei Chang: how are they just kicking you out now

Lan Fan: oh they have he climbs back in through the window

Edward Elric: last week u complained the rice wasnt cooked

Ling Yao: have u????? had the rice here??????? itS C R U N C H Y

Edward Elric: jfc lower ur standards ur highness this is college

Lan Fan: you dont pay 70K a year to eat

Paninya: just suck it up lk the rest of us

Winry Rockbell: its either this or starve yao

Ling Yao: :O

Ling Yao changed the chat name to fake friends™

Alphonse Elric to cAn yOU FEeL iT Now mR KRAbs: What the everloving fuck do i have to murder to find out what the shit lingfan is?????¿¿¿¿¿

Lan Fan: …..

Alphonse Elric: Ah

Alphonse Elric: Wrong chat

Paninya: (✿◉‿◉)

Winry Rockbell: AL FOR THE LOV EOF

Winry Rockbell kicked Lan Fan from the chat

Winry Rockbell kicked Ling Yao from the chat

Mei Chang: you know they can still see previous messages

Edward Elric: fuckkkkkk

Paninya: well first time not directin this at edward

Paninya: duuuuuude u fucked up

Panko to Lan Fan: hey i saved u a seat in psych but u didnt look over

Panko: is this about kickin u out of the squad chat

Lan Fan: do they all know

Panko: uh kno what

Lan Fan: does everyone know paninya

Panko: if i answer will u promise not to disappear again

Panko: no one told anyone else about it if thats what ur angry about we all figured it out by ourselves

Panko: well except for ed but that boi is dumb af

Panko: n im not sayin u guys were obvious or anything it took a while until we saw it

Lan Fan: i think im going to go back to my grandfathers for the weekend

Panko: pls dont drop off the face of the earth again

Lan Fan: i wont i was going to go back anyway and space is good

Panko: ur not the only one in this lan fan

Panko: no matter how much u wont see it

Lan Fan: (◠‿◠✿)

Winry Rockbell to PROJECT LINGFAN (ALPHONSE ELRIC DONE FUCKED UP YALL): so lan fans gone

Winry Rockbell: when did u say ling had to make a choice mustang

Roy Mustang: i didnt??

Edward Elric: u said he had to make a decision and DIDNT GIVE HIM A SHITDAMN DEADLINE

Edward Elric: ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN NOW HONDA

Paninya: well thats just great chevrolet

Riza Hawkeye: You really didnt think this through bmw

Roy Mustang: wow at least i didnt blow our cover

Alphonse Elric: Dont throw me under the bus with u toyota at least im repentant

Paninya: alright well now that lamborgini royally fucked up

Winry Rockbell: “lamborgini”

Winry Rockbell: so close

Edward Elric: so what the fuck is gonna happen now

Winry Rockbell: ok mei can talk to ling bc she lives with him

Mei Chang: unfortunately

Rosé Thomas: I don’t know if lan fan will be willing to talk

Rosé Thomas: She used an emoji again

Mei Chang: actually i’ll talk to her someone else tackle my brother

Paninya: idk how to speak fuccboi language one of the guys gotta do it

Winry Rockbell: after roy and als fuckups who else can we choose

Edward Elric: RUDE

Roy Mustang: sit down you didnt even know they were a thing

Edward Elric: MAYBE BC I DONT POKE MY FUCKING NOSE INTO OTHER PPLS BUSINESS

Alphonse Elric: Well ofc u physically cant ned

Winry Rockbell: can u even see other ppl without platform shoes

Mei Chang: or a ladder

Edward Elric: UR FUCKING SHORTER THAN ME JFC

Paninya to milk: hate it, shouting: always, music taste: shite = I AM FORCIBLY SHUT INTO THE BODY OF A SIX YEAR OLD: RIZA TOLD ME THERE IS A PETTING ZOO 3 MILES AWAY YALL MEET AT MY CAR IN 5

Edward Elric: we’re already fucking here

Ling Yao: lol weve been here for an hour

Alphonse Elric: Mustangs been holding a komodo dragon for approx half that time

Mei Chang: winry drove us and there are llamas

Winry Rockbell: i am surrounded by puppies rn am i dead

Paninya: bitch u r to me im writin u all out of my will CLEARLY ALL MY M8S ARE SHIT

Ling Yao to Sister Mine: mei

Ling Yao: meiiiiiii

Sister Mine: i’m literally right next to you what

Ling Yao: have u ever seen lan fan with her hair down

Sister Mine: once during the floor party you all snuck me into

Sister Mine: why do you ask

Ling Yao: her hair tie broke a few days ago and she was fussing with it and i couldnt breathe

Sister Mine: when her hair is down??

Ling Yao: up, down, soaking, gone

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away, mei

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away no matter what she does, or say, or looks like and i am a coward

Sister Mine: you may be right

Ling Yao: are you ashamed of me?

Sister Mine: that depends

Sister Mine: what do you plan to do about it

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: hey i know its 5 am and youre probably not even awake and this is probably useless anyway considering ive been transparent as all hell

Lan Fan: but i dont think sleep is an option until i tell you

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous and full of it and infuriating and reckless and beautiful and just so so idiotic

Lan Fan: id have to be too i guess

Lan Fan: to be in love with you even after all of it

Lan Fan: and i really am just that

Lan Fan: idiotic and in love with you

Literal Monkey™: thanks

Lan Fan: did you just breakfast at tiffanys me

Literal Monkey™: yes because you would understand it

Literal Monkey™: you understand lan fan

Literal Monkey™: every shitty meme or reference or word i say you’ll always always understand

Literal Monkey™: just like how you understand that im all those things you said i was

Literal Monkey™: im reckless and infuriating and indecisive and greedy and far too ridiculous to deserve you and you understand that

Literal Monkey™: and if youre idiotic for being in love with me then im a hundred times more and you understand why too

Lan Fan: i think you have too much faith in me

Literal Monkey™: i think you have too little

Literal Monkey™: come to your window

Lan Fan: what why

Literal Monkey™: because its hard to type when im barely holding onto your window frame and looking like a hero straight out of an austen novel and honestly id rather told you how much im in love with you in person

Literal Monkey™: convention and all that

Lan Fan: well alright then

Paninya changed the chat name to IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED LADS LINGFAN IS REAL FUCKING CHRIST NO MORE ANGST I AM LIBERATEDDDD

Alphonse Elric: Great so can someone pls explain wtf a lingfan is now

Edward Elric: Read at 8:09 AM

FULL VERSION AND CONTINUATION HERE

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minahraven · 7 years

Text

The Roommate - BTS - Jimin (Smut/ Fluff) (M)

Summary: Anon – “Hello! Can I request a Jimin smut where you both are roomates and he has the biggest crush on you (who are the innocent type) and one day he accidentally walks in on you naked? And you are embarassed bc no one has ever see you naked? And with dirty talk about how much he wanted you. Btw, I read you Yoongi smut, and if you had not said that it was your first smut I wouldn't have believed it. I really liked it.”

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Word Count: 2,647

Genre: Smut/ Fluff

Warning: Contains dirty talk, swearing, supa-sexual content. Basically, tis smut. Yup.

The Roommate

You yawned as you reached for the towels that sat on the top shelf of your closet, grabbing the largest one you had and tucking it under your arm. Since you’d arrived at university, this routine had become habit. Get up early, grab a towel, hurry to the bathroom, shower, get dressed and hurry back to your room before your roommate woke up. It wasn’t that you were a prude. You just didn’t really like the idea of your roommate seeing you wandering around in a towel. If it had been anyone else, it probably wouldn’t have been a problem. Problem was, your roommate was a guy.

When you’d first agreed to your mom’s suggestion of finding someone to share your apartment, it was with a little nervousness. After all, you’d never shared with anyone in your life, so you didn’t know how it would go, sharing your home with someone. Still, you decided to take the plunge and, when you got your first response to the ad you put out, you took all the necessary precautions of meeting them first, in a public place, with plenty of people around. That night, Jimin was curling up in his new bedroom next door to yours. You had known from the second you met that you were going to get along and now, months later, you still couldn’t believe you had gotten so lucky. Your roommate was cheerful, polite, helpful, and better than all of it, he didn’t insist on bringing home women to sleep with every night, which was a blessing. You didn’t know how you would have coped with someone who did that, when you hadn’t even been naked with a guy in your life.

Peeking out of your room to make sure Jimin hadn’t gotten up early (not that he ever did), you hurried across the hall to the bathroom, locking the door behind you as you entered. You had already mastered the art of the lightning-fast shower and within minutes, you were hurrying back to your room, closing the door quietly behind you. Tossing the towel on your bed, you began to hunt around for clothing for the day. You easily found your jeans and tshirt and had tossed your underwear into the pile when you realised you couldn’t find the bra you wanted. With a frustrated groan, you began to look through your drawers again, pushing clothing aside haphazardly in your search.

“Y/N, your bra got put in with my laundry aga-“ You squealed as Jimin’s voice sounded from the doorway, spinning in alarm to see him staring at you, eyes wide. You froze for a split second before quickly trying to cover your modesty with the tshirt you still held in your hand. It wasn’t enough, not that it mattered. Before you could ask him to leave, Jimin had shut the door behind him and crossed the room, tossing your bra onto the bed and sending the tshirt to join it.

You’d be lying if you said you had never imagined sleeping with Jimin. It seemed impossible to share an apartment with someone so goodlooking and not think about him in that way. But you had never once entertained the thought of anything happening. The mere thought of even standing there naked in front of him was sending a chill down your spine and you quickly ducked past him, hurrying toward the door. You tried to yank it open, but it was locked. Turning, you stared at him as he moved slowly closer, eyes not leaving your body for a moment. Noone had ever looked at you that way. Noone had ever so much as seen you topless, and here he was staring at your quickly reddening skin as though you were a five star meal and he had been fasting for a year.

“And here I thought you were beautiful with your clothes on,” he murmured breathlessly as he drew nearer, the boxers he slept in making it painfully obvious what the sight of you was doing to him. “Do you know how many times I’ve wished you’d forget your towel when you sneak into the bathroom in the morning? How many times I’ve had to stop myself from coming in there and just taking you up against the wall?” He was immediately in front of you now, hands sliding slowly up the door behind you to rest beside your head as his dipped to the crook of your neck. He swiped his tongue over the skin there, groaning softly. “I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he whispered against your skin before sucking on it harshly, a tiny whimper of pain escaping as you felt the mark forming there. “I bet you’d like me to mark every inch of you while I fuck you till you can’t think of anything but me.” Another groan sounded as he nipped at the skin of your shoulder, tongue brushing over the marks he was leaving. “How can skin taste so perfect?” His hips slowly pressed against you, his erection grinding against your core, both of you moaning at the sensation.

His hand slipped down over your side, gripping your hip as he built up a slow rhythm, more moans sounding in his throat as his head fell against your shoulder. “Fuck… You have no idea how many nights I’ve had to touch myself because I couldn’t stop thinking of you, couldn’t stop thinking of how your pussy would feel around me.” You shuddered at the feeling of him against you, unused to the sensation, and couldn’t help it when your hips edged forward, wanting more pressure against your core. His grip tightened as he growled under his breath, teeth scraping harshly against your skin and causing you to whimper again, louder this time. You had never imagined your soft, cuddly roommate to have such an animalistic side, and somehow were finding yourself responding to it in a way that shocked you.

“Jimin…” you murmured, not even sure if you were talking to him or simply saying his name because you needed to. He seemed to take it as a moan of pleasure, biting down on your shoulder hard enough that it would most definitely leave a bruise. The shock of pain sent a jolt of pleasure through your body and you moaned loudly, head falling back against the door.

“Well, well, well….my innocent little roommate likes it rough, huh?” he crooned as his hand moved from your hip to between your legs, almost purring when he felt the moisture pooling there. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Jimin chuckled darkly as he slowly lowered himself, lips feathering light kisses over your body. Finally, he was kneeling before you, hands nudging your knees apart as he watched your face. Suddenly, you felt very nervous. No man had seen your body before, never mind being in such a position. He saw the fear on your features and leaned forward, pressing suddenly gentle lips to your inner things, sighing happily as he did so.

“Y/N…I’ve wanted you so much since I moved in here. Ever since the first day we met, I’ve needed you.” He kissed again, lighter this time. “Wanted you.” His lips moved higher, mere inches from your core. “Wanted to taste you.” Suddenly his tongue was running slowly over your folds, the very tip slipping between them enough to tease you, eliciting a low, hungry moan from you. That was all he needed and he gripped your hips, pulling you roughly to him and lapping hungrily at your core. His tongue ran harshly over your clit over and over before dipping inside you, his groan of satisfaction as he tasted you sending a shiver through you.

“Oh fuck, Jimin…” you gasped blissfully as your hands tangled in his hair, your hips bucking against his mouth. The pleasure was stronger than anything you had felt and you could feel yourself quickly losing control, all sense of decorum gone. He growled again, this time nipping at your folds as his fingers slipped between them, two of them plunging into you and stretching you for him, more of your juices seeping into his mouth. The sudden intrusion was too much and your knees began to buckle. In a split second, he was standing, his spare arm wrapping around your waist as he lifted you, fingers still curling and scissoring deep inside you, and carried you to your bed. Lowering you on it surprisingly gently, Jimin moved to kiss you tenderly, his lips meeting yours for the first time. His lips were still moist with your juices and you couldn’t help moaning lewdly at the combination of tasting him in his mouth and his fingers toying with you. He chuckled softly as he pulled away, lips moving to your ear to whisper to you.

“Do you know what I’m going to do to you, princess?” he murmured as a third finger forced its way inside you, causing you to scream softly in ecstasy and arch off the bed, your fingers finding his shoulders and gripping them tightly as you shook your head. “You know that beautiful little scream of yours just now?” His voice was harsher now, dominant. You nodded. “I’m going to fuck you until those screams are all anyone in this building can hear.” A small whimper escaped you at the thought, your grip on his shoulders tightening until your nails were digging into the skin and causing him to hiss with delight at your response. “You want that, do you princess? You want me to make you cum so hard you’re begging me to let you come down?”

“Yes! Please, Jimin,” you whimpered, hips moving of their own accord as you tried to take his fingers deeper despite the fact that they were almost more than you could handle.

“Please what?” he snarled, curving his fingers against your walls and driving another low scream from your lips.

“Please fuck me! Make me yours.” He froze, pulling back to look at you. The look in his eyes in response to your words was one you had often seen in movies and imagined seeing on the face of someone you loved, but had never pictured from him: sheer joy.

“You really mean that?” His voice was soft as he spoke, the pause in movement allowing you to catch your breath slightly, though the reprieve didn’t last long. He slowly started to move his fingers again as he waited for your reply. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak, but you nodded desperately, biting your lip to ground yourself. It was enough of an answer, though, and he all but ripped off his boxers, leaving him naked, his painfully hard erection bigger than you had pictured and almost frightening you at the thought of it inside you. “It’s okay baby,” he cooed as he settled himself between your legs, his tip slowly easing into you. “I promise I won’t hurt you unless you want me to.” A slight smirk coloured the gentle smile on his lips and he pecked light, delicate kisses over every part of your face as he entered you slowly, a high moan sounding in his throat as your muscles clenched at the intrusion.

“Too much. I-it’s too much, Jimin,” you whimpered. His hand moved between you, rubbing slow, soothing circles on your pelvis, his thumb grazing your clit now and then.

“Shhhhh, it’s okay princess.” His voice was soft and tender as he coaxed you to relax, his touch gradually causing you to melt against the bed. “Jiminie’s here for you baby. We can take this as slow as you like.” As he spoke, he gradually moved, slowly filling you until you could take no more, the sharp pain that had hit you with his entrance being replaced with a combination of pleasure and satisfaction. It felt *right*, and you couldn’t help yourself rotating your hips experimentally to feel him pressing against all of your walls. The movement earned another high moan from him, but he restrained himself, forcing himself not to move until you were ready for him. He didn’t have to wait long, and you were soon moving your hips almost imperceptibly, afraid to take the initiative. Instead, you turned your head slightly, lips brushing against his ear as you whispered to him, a darker side of you suddenly taking over.

“Fuck me, Jimin,” you murmured, slowly raking your nails over his back. “Fuck me hard.” He didn’t need any more asking and immediately straightened to kneel between your legs, gripping your hips almost painfully as his eyes connected with yours.

“Are you sure about this?” His teeth dug into his lower lip anxiously, but you were certain. Slowly, deliberately, you clenched your walls around him, your eyes narrowing a fraction.

“Make me scream.” Immediately he withdrew, slamming into you full force and driving a shaky moan from you. He quickly built up a rhythm that was almost feral, lips sucking marks onto every part of you that they could reach as he moaned and growled desperately. There was no lovemaking. That would come later. For now, all he wanted was to hear you screaming his name as he drove you to the first orgasm a man had had the joy of giving you. You were quickly climbing towards exactly that, moaning his name over and over as you begged him for more, ‘harder’, ‘faster’. Finally, he could hear your whimpers of bliss growing more frantic as you fought to push him deeper, and he leaned down toward you.

“Cum for me princess. Show me how perfect you look while my cock makes you cum,” he murmured breathlessly, his teeth quickly finding the same place he had bitten before and digging into the flesh. The stab of pain was such a shock that it was all it took to drive you over the edge, your scream of ecstasy leaving your throat raw as you clutched at his shoulders, back, anywhere your nails could find purchase. He needed nothing more than his name on your lips as you came, your back arched in bliss as your body writhed under him. With one final thrust, he buried himself inside you, moaning your name as he filled you.

You both collapsed against the bed exhaustedly as he reluctantly withdrew from you, the loss pulling a soft whimper from your lips. He gave a soft chuckle and drew you closer, the fingers of one hand entwining with yours as the other stroked your back lightly in an attempt to help you regulate your breathing again. You moved your head to rest on his chest, listening to his racing heartbeat.

“This is not just a spur of the moment thing, Y/N,” he said suddenly, his voice determined. “I meant every word. I’ve wanted you for so long, but I never dared to do anything. Are...are you mad at me?” You smiled to yourself and shook your head, nuzzling into his chest contentedly.

“Not at all, Jiminie.” The nickname was a tiny attempt to assure him of your honesty, and the squeeze of his arms around you told you that he believed you. “I’m glad you were my first.” You heard the catch of his breath and he raised your hands to press a light kiss to the back of it. Looking up at him, you were surprised to see his eyes moistening and sat up slightly. “Jimin? Are you…crying?” He quickly looked away, clearing his throat before looking back at you with a smirk

“Me? Cry because you said something adorably sweet? Nah. My eyes were just watering because I haven’t had an orgasm that mind-blowing in ages.”

“Mmmmhmmm,” you muttered sceptically and lay your head back down on his chest. “I guess we’ll have to do that a lot more so you can get used to it.”

#bts #bts scenarios #bts smut #bts jimin #bts park jimin #bts fluff #park jimin #jimin

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theklancecollection · 7 years

Text

Klance May Reads (May 1st, 2017 - May 31st, 2017)

Below the cut are 113 fics that I have read this month.

I was planning on doing monthly updates but clearly this is too long. So I will be sticking with weekly updates instead.

I will put up a separate recommendations page tomorrow.

three minutes to closing - Yuisaki

“So you don’t know his name,” Pidge says slowly. “And he says meme-y things. And he always comes in three minutes before closing, and—”

“Always leaves on the dot,” Keith adds. “And uh, he never orders the same thing twice in a row.”

Pidge’s face is blank. “A customer who leaves at nine on the dot and never orders the same thing twice in a row,” she repeats. She opens her mouth, closes it, and taps at the screen of her tablet, hopping off the counter. “I’ll just tell everyone I didn’t get the answer out of you.”

“Pidge,” Keith protests. “I mean it.”

“And I think you have a cryptid customer,” Pidge says.

(or: eccentricities in a small coffee shop where a cuban boy with cute dimples only exists three minutes to closing.)

you had me at merlot - ryomakun

“Oh my God,” Lance says as he covers his face. Keith’s tinny voice blares from his laptop speakers: “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.” See, this joke might have been funny if someone charismatic and charming had said it, but Keith’s flat voice and even flatter expression effectively kidnaps, tortures, and then decapitates any chance of it being remotely humorous.

Keith accidentally starts a YouTube channel. Lance, of course, refuses to be left out. It goes about as well as you'd expect. (Ft. copious amounts of wine and a truly shameless number of references to MyDrunkKitchen, DailyGrace, and general pop culture)

Ascension - Gigapoodle

Four times where Lance feels insecure, and one time where Keith has had enough.

My Play Toy - Mackenzie_Kogane_McClain

Lotor is in his brain. The binds are too strong and everyone's watching him strain. Secrets are out. His heart is gone.

The Desert is a Thirsty Motherfucker - Graceless_Grace

The paladins get stuck on a desert planet and Lance, being the self-sacrificing idiot he is, gives away his water, sip by sip. Consequences suck, don't they? Even with the best intentions, the desert still suck the life out of Lance.

McDonald's Anyone? - AnimeROL

It started as most things seem to with us: a challenge and a scheme. I mean, who hasn’t ever dreamed of motorizing a shopping cart to take through McDonald’s drive thru at 2am?

Lance Gets Hot And Horny And Boy Does Keith Notice - TasteTheRainbow_BeTheRainbow

The team is put into a situation as if they were being attacked by the Galra. And honestly, they flunked it. So Allura calls a meeting but Lance is otherwise distracted by a certain Omega bodily process. He tries to leave undetected but Keith is a little more observant than others.

supermassive black hole - epiproctan

Keith has always known that he wasn’t going to get what he truly wants out of the arrangement, but he also hadn’t ever imagined that it would just…end.

aka that classic fic where lance wants to stop hooking up but keith wants something else entirely

i forgive you - willobean

"i forgive you"

Such happy memories tied to those three words before the fateful day where everything came crashing down around Keith like a tsunami.

the potential of you and me - Katranga

“And then other times,” Lance said. “I’m just, like, dying to know what a mouth would feel like around my dick.” Keith choked on air and said, with absolutely no go-ahead from his brain, “I have a mouth.” Half-laughing, Lance said, “Is that an offer?” He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes. His throat was dry. “Is that an acceptance?” -- The summer after freshman year of college, Lance drags Keith back to their hometown to hang out. But the two of them rarely spend time together without Hunk and Pidge around, because things had a way of getting out of hand real quick. This summer is... no different.

spin and twist - checkmateslash

“I think Keith is into you. He started blushing when Pidge and I brought up you giving him a lap dance.”

Lance flushed then, because they had been talking about Lance while he wasn’t there and it was about something he hardly remembered.

“I don’t even remember that, Hunk,” he grumbled, though his face was hot and he knew it was no use.

“You could see his boner through his jeans.”

“Can you stop?”

Lance thought about that conversation a lot. He thought about it every time he ran into Keith at the gym, remembers the conversation being too casual as he fiddled with his messy hair and pretended not to be flustered when Keith mentioned that they needed to hang out more. Remembered wishing he were brave enough to ask Keith out so he could either get rejected and get over it or start something. Remembered trying desperately not to blush when Keith came down to the lower level of the gym and asked Lance to hold his feet while he did sit-ups. Tried hard not to remember the lap dance while he was doing so, but even consciously trying not to think about it was still thinking about it.

Isn't this what you wanted? - Cutekittenlady

After a failed rescue attempt, Keith and Lance are subjucated to the will of their captor.

Love Bites and Banter - inkbadger

They just can't help but banter during sex- it's who they are.

Of course, some days Lance definitely regrets teaching Keith the subtle arts of sarcasm.

wrong in the dark - fickleauthor

All his life, Lance has been groomed to be one half of a bridge between two alien races — a merging of families that will bring about an end to a bitter centuries-old feud. He’s carried this weight upon his shoulders with a grace he feels he can and should be proud of, considering he never asked for such a heavy responsibility. He never asked for his life to be mapped out in such bold, rigid lines that stretch into a future he can see all too clearly: when he reaches maturity, he’ll be bound to the Crown Prince of the Galra empire for the rest of their lives.

And so he lets himself be swept away by the tides of fate — save for for one night, the night before the bonding ceremony, when he sneaks out and has an encounter with a stranger that threatens to upend him from the path he was meant to walk.

blame it on patron - pastelshan

One smack of his lips, and Keith felt his mouth fill with cotton. Tongues weren’t supposed to feel like that, were they? All heavy and gross. He scowled, sending a sideways, drunk glance Lance’s way. Did his feel like this?

Was there really only one way to find out?

Stupid Hair, Stupid Coffee - shaqfu

The only way to cope with midterms was coffee and maybe being mean to your beautiful barista.

That One Time You Saw Me Dancing In My Underwear - Quiznak

Lance's mysterious neighbor plays his music too loud so he tries to get revenge.

Then Who's Flying the Lion? - senpai_desu_desu

Shiro suggests Keith gives Lance a few pointers when piloting his lion, and he obliges, much to Lance's dismay... or delight? Not even Lance knows.

Kiss Me If You Want Me - Barkour

Lance has an epiphany and Keith makes a confession. Also, they fuck.

hypothetically - starsupernova

Keith wonders how he fell in love with someone like this. He’d never really been into anyone in his life until he met Lance in freshman year. Sure, it had started off as a rivalry, mostly through the baseball team, but Keith had slowly grown to appreciate Lance, in both the looks and personality departments.

And it’s not like the attraction is decreasing now that their junior years have just ended. In fact, it’s even stronger than before.

The first time Keith ever falls in love, it's with someone practically unobtainable. Typical.

The Jacket - shark_meat

Lance find's Keith after a long training session and shows a touch of kindness towards his "rival." It seems to backfire once the teasing starts, but maybe Keith will reciprocate the kindness after-all.

Somewhere On A Beach - smilemylove

Lance comes to Keith expressing feelings of missing Team Voltron, so Keith offers to take him out on a ride to help get his mind off things. Along the way, the two come to realize that maybe Lance wasn't being entirely honest with his feelings.

Bonding - Quiznak

Lance and Keith bond.

I got my ship stolen, my dignity taken, and what do I have to show for it? - noumenon

“Looks like you hit on the wrong person, huh, Lance?” Keith chuckled.

“Could you stop being a jerk for I dunno, five seconds and just help me out here?" Lance snapped. "This isn’t nearly as much fun without a hot girl with me. I mean seriously! I’m chained up, Blue got stolen, and worst of all I didn’t even kiss out of all this!”

bench press me - eggboi

“The hell are you doing?” Keith grumbles out, body mid-push up. There’s a snicker behind him, too close to his ears, though Keith can’t really understand what would be so amusing about this. Then again, he’s not really sure why Lance is lying on him while he’s doing push ups either. Other than to be, of course, annoying.

“Nothing.” Lance finally says. Keith hears the grin in his voice, which only proves to irritate him a little more. ‘Nothing’ his ass. “Continue with what you’re doing, Mr. ‘I’m-Too-Good-For-Socialization’.”

(Lance, as always, tries to annoy Keith by making his exercise harder. It doesn’t work. At all.)

Miscommunication and failures - Lance by mikuridaigo

tumblr prompt: does the “i slept with you the other day and i didnt know we had a mutual friend and now we’re sitting across each other for brunch and it’s awkward because i ran out when you were asleep” au exist bc i need that fic

When Hunk called the Sunday before the spring quarter began, asking if he wanted to grab brunch with him, Lance said yes; and when Hunk called again, saying that his friend was joining at the last second, Lance didn’t think anything of it.

Until said friend was the best sex he’s ever had.

Basically Lance is a screw up and fixing this mess was probably going to kill him

Disatrophe (I like it rough) by mikuridaigo

“Is this how you usually pick up guys?”

“No, I start with a great opener. Like,” Lance pointed his fingers like a gun, “‘hey, you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears’.”

A companion piece to Miscommunication and failures by Lance with Keith's perspective to how he and Lance slept together that night.

Translation, Please by mochimistress

Keith had no idea what Lance was saying, but he was going to find out.

a change of space by Crawlingthroughashes

"I don't want to kiss you," Lance announces quickly, color rising high on his cheeks. "Ok." "I don't." Keith holds his hands up. "Ok." Stupid Keith.

Change of Pace by needchocolatenow

It was supposed to be an easy mission: a Galra base that was, for all intents and purposes, abandoned on a primitive planet. Get in, download the base's info logs, get out. Simple.

Of course, when Lance realized he was going to be put together with Keith on this mission, simple went out the window.

thread our way through a string of stars - steelthighsvoideyes

Lance is a humble astrophysics student trying to conduct research, which turns out to be a bit difficult to do when he finds a strange guy sitting in his customary research spot. A strange guy looking for aliens, no less.

Lance isn't going to stand for this.

One Cup Of Jealousy, Please - UnheardCries

Lance and Keith are two best friend dorks, but when Lance decides to go get coffee at a new cafe that opened, with his best friend, he may realize two emotions he never thought he would feel towards his best friend, love and jealousy.

Blue - princevince

He'd always taken the presence of the color blue for granted. He wished he hadn't. God, he wished he hadn't.

Like Ice Over Fire - CuriousRebel

Lance gets himself into a spot of trouble (against orders) and Keith comes to save him (against orders).

you mark everything i do - steelthighsvoideyes

Some people do ridiculous things when they're in love, like trip over nothing and faceplant into the pie they're holding, or get tattoos of each other's names in tacky hearts on their arms.

Lance and Keith get each other's paladin symbols tattooed over their hearts.

bouncing off exit signs - steelthighsvoideyes

This is the story of two absolute idiots who keep searching for what they've already found.

Cheeky - rideahorse

Keith pinches his eyes shut, slamming the book down again and swiveling to face Lance. “Oh my god,” he groans, standing up and crossing the two feet between them before Lance can get out a word. He grabs Lance’s face between his hands (perhaps a bit rougher than needed, but hey, he’s always wanted to slap Lance’s stupid face) and the last thing he sees is an expression of pure surprise before he leans down and presses his lips against Lance's.

It’s a peck, and it lasts a second, and then it’s over. Keith leans back, releasing Lance’s face, and hisses, “There.”

All The Stars In The Universe - jamwrites

After being rescued from capture by the Galra Empire, Lance isn't the same. He's silent. Reserved. Broken. But Keith won't accept this; every night, he comes to talk to Lance. Every night, he attempts to fix what is broken, and tonight may be his last chance.

(based off (with permission) an idea by legendarydragondefender and khlance on tumblr.)

An A+ For Trying - sailingskies

Keith and Lance stumble around with their almost painfully obvious feelings, and Pidge and Hunk are forced to watch the impending spectacle that unfolds.

and i'll keep you a daydream away - maradyer (ashtxns)

“He’s killing me,” Lance groans, head in his hands.

And Then It Hit Him - princevince

Team Voltron is back together after being separated in the wormhole. They all learned a lot about themselves. About each other. Some...more than others. It's hard to take it all in, even after time has passed. But you don't always have to take it all alone.

breathless - zxrysky

"You shouldn't go out to the sea at night," their grandmother says. She's in a rocking chair, old and creaky, her withered body settled with a shawl around her shoulders, wrinkled fingers gripping the edges of the arm rest. "Don't risk it."

"Risk what?" Shiro asks, eyes wide. He's fourteen, just a young boy, on the cusp of maturity, arms wrapped around his younger brother as they sit before their grandmother.

His grandmother pauses for a while. "There is danger in the sea."

Dorks - GriffinRose

Inspired by a post on Tumblr!

Lance is the only one listening to the current presentation, and oh boy is it something to listen to. The kid has been rambling on about aliens for ten minutes and he is trying so hard not to laugh. So hard. Turns out the kid didn't even think Lance was paying attention, so when he finds out Lance was he books it. Like, as fast it takes Lance to turn his head, that kid was gone.

Keith wants to die. The Hot Guy in his bio class was actually listening to him talk about aliens. That's it. He's done. Kill him now.

Poor Shiro is just trying to keep his little brother sane.

don't wanna be free - VickyVicarious

In which Lance gives compliments (but not really), and Keith has lots of feelings but zero impulse control.

Eyes Over Here, Mister - amillionsmiles

Despite what his track record might look like, Lance understands girls, okay? Keith has Bad Boy written all over him—the dude sleeps with a knife, for Pete’s sake, and seems partial to black T-shirts when he isn’t in the Garrison uniform. Throw in a guardedness that could pass off as “mysterious” and a pair of dark eyes that could turn soulful in the right lighting and also if you could, like, get the guy to even look at you in the first place—

“Do you think I could work a mullet?” Lance asks Hunk.

“Absolutely not.”

OR: four times Keith completely ignored Lance, and one time he didn't.

Fading - Graceless_Grace

College!AU Klance; Keith doesn’t love the idea of asking for help when he’s sick. So, when he starts to feel a fever coming on, he does what he always does, while fading in and out.

Flames of Ice - linkami1379

"Finding out he was bisexual wasn’t a friendly experience. Solution? Be as girl-oriented as possible, use spare time to make clever comebacks and rely on sarcasm to save the day. At least that was what Lance figured would work at age eleven."

Boys finding their way in the big, wide universe.

Hank-y Pank-y - Methoxyethane

“You act,” Lance scoffed dramatically, “like I wanna make out with him or something.”

head to head, neck and neck, side by side - kushling

Lance and Keith both like sparring, Avatar, and each other. They have a hard time admitting it. Pidge makes fun of them. Space swords!!!

hey, keith? - furrykeith

Lance vents his feelings to a sleeping Keith.

Or so he thinks.

if it takes two - velvetcrowbars

After the Sendak attack, Keith and Lance deal with unresolved things. Whatever those might be.

“Keith?”

“What?” He finally says, safely slipping the piece over Lance’s head with minimal knocking against his temple. He sets the discarded parts on the floor next to the bed.

“I have a confession.”

it's quite bizarre, and will remain this way - mayerwien

FROM THE DESK OF ALLURA ALTEA Director The Rex Alfor Memorial Space Museum

Dear Mr. Coran,

I am writing to entrust to you the care and supervision of the young man who will be working with our custodial team starting this coming Tuesday. The young man’s name, as I’m sure you already know, is Keith.

As you also have been made aware, the incident that occurred two weeks ago was his first criminal offense, and thus I have elected not to press charges against him, in the hope that a little community service and a few kind words will go a long way.

Please see to it that our new volunteer gets a basic but thorough introduction as to what it is we do here at RAMSM. Unless any more untoward situations arise, there is no need to report to me further. I trust your good judgment, as I always have.

(Additionally, I would like to commend you for successfully managing to keep this story out of the press. Your service to the museum over the years has gone above and beyond your job description. We will have to talk about this very soon. When are you free for coffee?)

never been kissed - kairiolette

“You give off the obnoxious popular vibe. The mullet, and the rap sheet, and—the fingerless gloves,” Lance replies, and barrels on before Keith can take it the wrong way. “I’m so handsome, my name’s Keith and I’m a pilot.”

“That sounds more like a compliment than an insult,” Keith says slowly, a disdainful quirk to his eyebrows that only spurs Lance on. He tilts his head a bit, his bangs shadowing his face, like he’s assessing a particularly impossible physics problem. “And I don’t like that voice you’re using.”

No Room For Secrets - Crawlingthroughashes

Keith thought he and Lance had reached a bit of an understanding the night Lance was injured. He should have realized that Lance had a monopoly on being the most obnoxious, petty brat in the galaxy.

Or, Shiro forces the two to engage in more team bonding exercises as a means to put an end to their bickering, but a lot more than bonding occurs.

Nightmares - Trashness

Lance's nightmares are getting out of control. It's effecting his and the team's performance, but he's at a loss for how to fix this.

Apparently sleeping next to a warm body helps.

Put Your Hands On Me - crystallineflowers

Lance and Keith get back from a diplomatic mission, and Lance just can't keep his hands to himself. I mean, can anyone blame him? His boyfriend is super hot, after all.

pepsicola - corydalis

It starts like this: Lance looking up at the scoreboard only a few days into his Garrison training and muttering to himself, “What the hell kind of a name is Keith?”

-- Or, Keith and Lance fall in love. Eventually. DAY 2: love // hate

scattered stars - Crawlingthroughashes

Lance wore his heart on his threadbare sleeve, visible for the perusal of wandering eyes.

Keith, on the other hand, kept his heart carefully concealed beneath skin that was stretched too tight and bones that felt too heavy for his body.

Show Me - saffronskies

Show me that you're human, show me that you won't break

Lance tries to be selfless for Keith, and sometimes it gets a little too hard for them both.

TW: Depression/Dealing with depression. Mention of suicide attempt.

Since We Might Die - Velazyraptor

Lance and Keith are on a mission on a forest planet and they run into a horrible monster. Lance thinks this is his last chance to confess.

It's rated T because of cursing.

sleep - orphan_account

“You’re annoying,” he kindly informed Lance. The other paladin just let out a loud snore in response. “I guess you’re also a little cute too,” Keith felt his cheeks warm up a little as he admitted it out loud, reaching over to turn out the lights.

In which Keith and Lance get cuddly and cheesy.

somewhere i have never travelled - songs

In an oddly tepid motion, Lance brushes the tip of his finger along Keith’s pulse-line. He says, “I can feel your heartbeat, here.” He takes Keith’s thumb, then, and presses it to his own wrist. “And you can feel mine. We’re the same, you dumbass. Me and you. You and everyone here. You’re fine. Wherever you want to go— it’s fine.”

steal the air from my lungs - zxrysky

“Read the news,” his grandma told him with something sad in her eyes, and passed him the newspapers lying on the table. She lifted him on her lap and turned the page, flipped through the black and white words until it landed on a picture of the ocean, wide and blue, stretching out far into the horizon.

“Missing people at sea,” Lance read out dutifully, and his eyes grew big. “They don’t come back?” He asked in a small voice. He couldn’t imagine- he couldn’t imagine just leaving. He couldn’t imagine going missing. He thought of James, barely two, holding on to Lance’s hands as he toddled along the ground, and shuddered.

“They don't, baby. These missing people at sea, they don’t ever come back.” His grandma looked old and tired, and Lance abruptly thought of his granddad, lost at sea long before Lance came into the world, and all that was left was this huge house.

sweet like honeysuckle late at night - starspecters

“Hey,” Lance says indignantly, poking his finger into the hard Velcro of Pidge’s binder. “Jesus loves me.”

“I don’t know why he would.”

Lance would like to blame the heat, but really, he knows where responsibility and blame should be placed -- namely, in the entire food group of alien peaches.

Things Held Sacred - yarrie

So maybe, just maybe, Pidge was right. Maybe, just maybe, Keith had shot himself in the foot with his first attempt at resolving the blanket-hogging situation, because now Lance seemed to think it was a game and the rules were: steal the blankets, get sex.

To be fair, Keith hadn't exactly been...dissuading him very well.

three words, and i'm yours - Dreamicide

To help things along with finding ones soulmate, the first words spoken to one another are written on their wrists.

So when Lance sees 'You're under arrest' on his skin, he decides to try and find his soulmate as fast as he can.

He gets arrested.

A lot.

Through Time and Space - Hidden_Pineapple

Prompt: -We all know Lance is homesick. But what happens when Pidge figures out how to make an accurate calendar of earth? Lance realizes just how much he’s missed. And even then, its only the tip of the iceberg. (...)

What happens when you write too long past midnight.

We'll Be Counting Stars - southspinner

Keith's just trying to navigate the collegiate mine-field of tests, social circles, and sleep-deprivation while still maintaining a fragile grip on his sanity. The last thing he needs is some snapback-clad fraternity president making him re-evaluate his entire existence, but of course, because the universe hates him, that's exactly what he gets.

Weight of the World - Zurela

Lance hasn't been sleeping very well. He does a good job of handling that, really.

Keith disagrees.

with quiet words I'll lead you in - strikinglight

“You were screaming,” Keith tells him. “I heard you through the wall.”

That wall, Lance wants to point out, is supposed to be soundproof. It shouldn’t let you hear anything, no matter how hard you listen. What he says instead is “I can’t breathe.”

“Take it slow.” Keith’s voice is steady, but as Lance’s eyes struggle to focus his face is a blur. The image goes shaky and then comes clear, shaky then clear, like looking into water. “Pretend it’s low tide. Tell me about the ocean again.”

heard a noise - scriveyner (trismegistus)

“So,” Hunk said, standing in the threshold of the doorway to the bridge. “Not for nothing, because I thought someone should know about it before they break something else, but I’m pretty sure that Lance and Keith broke the training room. Again.”

cradle you - TheMintPen

“So…bad day?”

Keith let out a snort as he mumbled into Lance’s chest, “That’s an understatement.”

Dialing... - AnnSmith

prompt: i call the wrong number and declare my love to you, and hang up before you can explain.

His voice sounded a bit more deep that how it normally was, but he supposed it was the sleep. After all, it was pretty late for a call. But he had to let him know. it was the most important thing at the moment.

Lance calls the wrong guy, and he fucks up.

one sky, one destiny - theatrythms

Lance misses home. Keith's home has been lost to the darkness for ten years. Kingdom Hearts Au.

crushing - orphan_account

“Thanks,” Lance awkwardly cleared his throat, all too aware of Keith’s unwavering gaze on him, “for staying, I mean.”

“Yeah,” a smile slowly spread on Keith’s face. “We’re a team, after all.”

(In which Lance gets homesick and Keith is apparently nocturnal.)

A Curiosity - BlueRoboKitty

"There’s only one way Lance can salvage his reputation, and that is to turn his intentions into something else entirely."

Cookies - Quiznak

Lance gives Keith cookies.

Don't Hate Me - wolfgun

“This is… your fault,” Keith groaned, banging his head against the old building. “You were the one who insisted we go in, guns blazing, without our lions! This is what happens when--”

“It is not! You were totally and completely on board with the idea--” A few gunshots cut Lance off, ricocheting off the walls. Keith risked poking his head around the corner, seeing a total of 10 Galra foot soldiers running up. A hand gripped his upper arm, and he quickly withdrew to look at Lance.

“We need to either get out of here and hide, find a way to get to our lions, or fight them.”

MCR - Autistictobio

keith is a emo

Deez nutz - Autistictobio

Keith is dating a moron

It started off just as a simple kiss, an accident really. - Autistictobio

It started off just as a simple kiss, an accident really. And it felt oh so good. (The rating might go up)

Me Enamora - Leonid42

After training for the day Keith walks back to his room, but on the way is distracted by some strange music.

te aviso te anuncio - Leonid42

Music could really affect you, huh? For some people, it brought a tear to your eye, others would be encouraged for the day. And Keith? Well Keith could feel his heart slowly melt for the stupid Paladin who sang.

My Wrist to Keep - InsominiacArrest

Good old-fashioned hand-cuff fic as Lance and Keith are instructed to bond by being around each other (a lot)

Fuck Me Up - Azure_Wavelet

Based off of this post on tumblr: velazyraptor:

Okay but consider:  Keith pretending to be lance’s boyfriend to ruin lance’s attempts to flirt with aliens

Heaven Above You (Blood Off Your Hands) - Mytay

“You have to promise — we have to swear that no matter how much we argue or disagree, we are never going to abandon each other.”

“I’m sort of insulted that you need a solemn oath from me over something that I figured was obvious,” Lance murmured lightly, but his eyes were dark and staid. “I couldn’t leave you behind even if you begged me to — you’re stuck with me, Keith.”

Keith’s hand finally bridged that infinitesimal gap. The Blue Paladin intertwined their fingers, squeezing just this side of painfully tight. Keith returned the favour, his heart beating a steady yearning throughout his body.

“Good,” Keith whispered, his face so close to Lance’s that he could easily count each of those long eyelashes. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Two weeks into their marooning on this too-damn-dangerous-planet, Lance shoots someone in cold blood. Keith sees that they are both losing pieces of themselves, with nothing but darkness to fill in the broken gaps.

moments of silence - attemptsonwords

Quiet moments between two boys who spend most of their time yelling at the other.

Winner, Winner - squidmemesinc

“I don’t want to have sex with you!”

“You don’t?! Are you sure you don’t? Because it sure does sound like you want to experience my ‘sex thing’”—air quotes—“for yourself, sexually, in a sexual way, because that’s what you totally just implied.” I experience a brief break in hysteria and straighten up, giving a winning smile to not-Keith, who doesn't deserve its glory. “Although I wouldn’t blame you, I am stunningly handsome and very good at giving he—”

“Lance, stop talking, now! I was just talking about kissing, but if you’re going to be weird or make a big deal out of it, then forget it.”

Captivate - IcyStarlight

Lance is called the king of contests and Keith does not believe it till he sees it.

A Fish And A Bird - Methoxyethane

Lance has a boyfriend. Lance does not realize he has a boyfriend. Keith, understandably, does not react well.

Two Fuckboys Fuck - 5PUSSIES

Against all odds, Lance manages to get laid.

Wear Your Cactus on Your Sleeve - shaqfu

All Lance wanted to do was buy a new cactus for his shop.

An Equitable Compromise - Barkour

It was all Keith's fault that Lance kissed him.

Secret's Out - BlueRoboKitty

Keith and Pidge come to an understanding as they wait anxiously for Lance to heal after the Galra's surprise infiltration of the castle. Pidge learns Keith has a secret of his own.

Apology in a Bottle - BlueRoboKitty

In a rare display of maturity, Lance tries to apologize to Keith for humiliating him. But a bottle of alien wine has found the Red Paladin first.

I Think We're Alone Now - BlueRoboKitty

Surprise, surprise, Keith drinking himself to a mortified stupor actually solved nothing, so once again, it's up to Lance to fix this trainwreck of an attraction he started or the team may never be able to form Voltron again.

Sweet Quiznak - CheckeredCloth

"You're really into him," Hunk mutters, and wow, Lance's face is on fire. Hunk is killing him.

"Look, read into how you like, Freud, just make sure that if I die Keith knows I totally would've mowed his ass like grass. That way, I can laugh hysterically at his emotionally-constipated expression from the afterlife."

Or: Lance is badly injured and has a few skeletons in his closet. Or maybe just the one.

Just a Sip - gaysquared

Keith can't hold his liquor. ______

For the prompt: "Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?"

Body Heat - littlemissmelody

Lance and Keith are on a mission to a very cold planet to do some recon on the Galra. However, due to a storm, they are stuck in one place for the night.

Or, Lance is freezing, and Keith is basically a furnace.

It's okay too cry - Autistictobio

*SPOILERS* this is the after math of the end of season 1 okay??? Lance and keith are stuck together alone

Nightmares aren't always that bad - Els_writes

Keith has nightmares, Lance helps him sleep.

Casual Contact - quartetship

It started off casually enough.

Ice in your veins - IcyStarlight

You may never be able to return to your first home, but you’ll freeze hell over before you let the world take your second one.

Elemental AU from tumblr user rhymentai

All The Small Things - Priestlyislove

Keith is tiny. Lance is annoying.

no i'll never forget (i just wanted to be near you) - glitterfreezing

"He rests his chin atop Keith’s head and listens to him breathe. The stars are brilliant overhead, and Keith’s mouth is warm against the thin cotton of Lance’s shirt, and Lance wonders if this is what people mean when they say "second home.""

lance and keith, on starting over, missing home, and love.

title from eugene by sufjan stevens.

Coffee - Quiznak

Coffee shop au.

Roommate Wanted - slendermanhood

There is absolutely no way Keith and I will ever become friends, Lance thought angrily to himself. He attended Lance’s dream school, the school that harshly rejected him because he wasn’t good enough. And Keith goes there on a scholarship?!

Lance can’t reject him as a roommate, because his rent was due next week. But, he promised to himself, that stuffy douchebag and I will never be friends, I swear it.

Pidge told him before not to make a stupid rivalry out of this, but Lance can’t help it. He was going to make Keith regret he ever crossed paths with Lance Sanchez.

(In which Lance and Keith are roommates, then enemies, then friends, then enemies again, then lovers)

In Motion - thatonegreenpencil

Late night training session somehow turns into more of a bonding exercise. Or the beginning of one, anyway.

(Set after ep 2)

watch yourself - shizuoh

Keith has a lot of trouble trying to deal with his obnoxious boyfriend.

Nosedive by quartetship

"You still wanna keep going, Keith?"

"You know it."

we'll make it, you and me - asexualrey

"Keith, if we make it out of this alive, I'm going to kiss you."

7 minutes in heaven (heaven looks a lot like a closet) - sun_stricken

lance + keith+ small spaces = gay shit

Meet-Cute, more like Meet-Ugly - mysterem

They say that meeting your soulmate is the best moment of your life. People are always talking about how the second that your counter hits zero it’s like the whole world seems to slow down, and all that matters is the two of you. But no one said anything about getting punched in the face.

Gay Chicken - InsominiacArrest

Someone else drops out of the pilot program and both Keith and Lance are in, and this time wrangled into a pilot’s beginning of year ‘get-together.’ It’s basically a frat party.

They play a very competitive party game neither backs down from.

#voltron #klance #klance fic recs

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seigyokus · 7 years

Text

1.4 - The Cloud Obscuring the Star

Idolish Seven - Part 3, Chapter 1.4 For more Part 3 translations, click here!

Translation below the cut!

Tsukumo Ryou: Hello, Momo! Just the man I wanted to see! Momo: Lookin’ flamboyant as ever, Ryou-san. You know, if I were a crow I’d be going straight for those super flashy cuffs. Tsukumo Ryou: Ahaha! How terrifying! I guess I’ll have to pry that snaggletooth off before it turns into a beak– maybe I’ll set it on my desk as a decoration. Need some anesthesia? Momo: What’s the second son doing out here tonight? Earning pocket money? It’s rare to see you in a place like this. I mean, you’re probably up to no good, after all. Momo: You ought to cut ties with those bad apples and get a nice job instead. Be a good son. You’ve got a good face, and a good head on your shoulders, after all. Tsukumo Ryou: Oh, I’m just not compatible with interviewers, and haven’t been since my teens. I even got rejected from a university I was recommended into. All I did was answer their question about what I wanted to learn honestly. Momo: What’d you say? Tsukumo Ryou: “I’d like to learn how to be of significant use to people, instead of digging your grave.” Momo: Smart people sure are nice. I would’ve smacked you with a slipper first, then reject you. Tsukumo Ryou: Heheheh. How strict of you, Momo. Momo: Nah, you’re just rude. Tsukumo Ryou: You’re only kind to everyone because you love people. That’s why you pretend to get along with my parents and my older brother. But in reality, you hate them, don’t you? Tsukumo Ryou: After all, they’ve watched your friends and colleagues crumble apart and quit their work– more times than you can count. (1) Momo: It’s not like that at all~ They always take good care of me, and I love them a lot! Tsukumo Ryou: Splendid! That’s an idol’s smile, alright. Tsukumo Ryou: No more of this useless chatter– I have big news, Momo. You want to know what it is, don’t you? Momo: You just want to say it, don’t you? Tsukumo Ryou: Re:vale will become part of Tsukumo. As will TRIGGER and IDOLiSH7. Momo: ……. Momo: …Won’t that be difficult? Takanashi-san and us are one thing, but I don’t think Yaotome-san and Hoshikage-san would remain silent on this issue. Tsukumo Ryou: Yaotome is but a mere infant compared to Tsukumo. As for senile, old Hoshikage? I plan on annihilating him with a scandal. (2) Tsukumo Ryou: Doesn’t that excite you? The power dynamics in the entertainment industry will completely change. Momo: Yeah, that sends chills down my spine alright. So, who proposed this disturbing plan? Tsukumo Ryou: Hmm, I can’t seem to recall. It flew out of my head when I got smacked with a slipper. Momo: Aw, don’t be like that! I was kidding! Come on, tell Momo-chan. Your suit today is the best of the best! Tsukumo Ryou: Ahaha, thanks. I love it when you’re so determined, Momo. Let us discuss this some other time. Tsukumo Ryou: I’ll grill all of your favorite meats. The tongue of the cow, rib meat, and thick slabs of shoulder meat, woven in muscle fiber and fat. Tsukumo Ryou: Doesn’t that just make you salivate? I look forward to it. Bye-bye! See you again. Momo: ……. Momo: ……Seriously, just say tan, kalbi, and marbled sirloin……. I’ve completely lost my appetite…….

Official from Hoshikage Entertainment: Yuki-kun. May I introduce you to Natsume Minami? He will also be starring in “Mission.” Natsume Minami: It’s an honor to finally meet you, Yuki-san. I look forward to working with you. Yuki: Thanks. Natsume Minami: Haha…. It’s just as the rumors say. There’s a particular aura about you, you’re mysterious and taciturn. Yuki: I’m surprisingly funny, though. Natsume Minami: To say that about yourself…. What an interesting person. I’ve also got a funny little trick up my sleeve– I’m very good at fortune-telling. Yuki: Oh? Natsume Minami: Men who have a beauty mark below their left eye, just as you do……. Natsume Minami: These men fascinate, yet perplex the opposite sex– however, they are passive when it comes to romance. They feel very deeply, but are capricious and whimsical. Many, many women have promised to partake in the perpetuation of these mens’ descendants. (3) Yuki: Looks like they’ve made me promise something I really can’t promise as an idol. Natsume Minami: You would suit being an emperor in ancient China. Perhaps you could use that as reference for your own life? Official from Hoshikage Entertainment: Minami-kun used to be a famous, and genius, child actor. This is the first movie he’ll be starring in since returning from studying abroad. “Mission” will definitely be a blockbuster hit. Yuki: I see. Natsume Minami: My child acting days are all in the past now. I’ll do my best to make a fresh start. Official from Hoshikage Entertainment: We haven’t been much of a match for young people recently, but we’re betting on Minami-kun. Please take care of him, Yuki-kun. Official from Hoshikage Entertainment: After all, Chiba Shizuo-san treated you quite well, did he not? Even though Re:vale are outsiders, we think of you as one of our own. Yuki: Oh, is that so? Official from Hoshikage Entertainment: …Are you listening to me? Just where are you looking? Yuki: At a revolting, flamboyant man. Official from Hoshikage Entertainment: What? ……Listen, Yuki-kun. Minami-kun knows about Chiba Salon as well. Please get along with a certain someone’s son during “Mission,” alright? Yuki: ……. Yuki: ……He won’t be exposing anything. If anything, he’s the one scared of being exposed. Official from Hoshikage Entertainment: Shh. Not a single word more– not here. Yuki: You’re the one who brought it up. Natsume Minami: Working with someone as splendid as you are will be just like a dream, Yuki-san. I can’t wait to film with you. Yuki: Sure……. Natsume Minami: Ah, that’s right. I also do music– and I love Re:vale’s music. Congratulations on your fifth anniversary. Yuki: ……. Yuki: You said you studied abroad? Where did you study? Natsume Minami: In Northmare.

Yotsuba Tamaki: Woah! This pudding is the bomb! Kujou Ten: Aren’t you taking too much? Yotsuba Tamaki: I’m not giving any to you, Tenten. I’m still pissed about Aya. Kujou Ten: ……. Yotsuba Tamaki: If you’re gonna say Aya’s your younger sister, then I’m making Rikkun my younger brother. Kujou Ten: Riku’s older than you, so wouldn’t he be your older brother? Yotsuba Tamaki: Rikkun feels like a younger brother though, so no. Kujou Ten: ……Aya’s doing well. She told me she was learning how to be a good housewife. (4) Yotsuba Tamaki: …For who? Kujou Ten: Oh, that’s not– Yotsuba Tamaki: Who!? Kujou Ten: I don’t know. Isn’t that just something that girls do? Yotsuba Tamaki: ……Tenten. Why are you on Kujou’s side? Why someone like him? He’s not someone you should side with. Kujou Ten: ……. Yotsuba Tamaki: Also, I tried thinking about what it’d be like if he were my dad, but…. Yotsuba Tamaki: He took Aya, he took you– there’s something wrong with him. Yotsuba Tamaki: Why are you and Aya covering his ass? Why did you guys follow somebody like Kujou? Kujou Ten: …What is your profession? Yotsuba Tamaki: Huh? I’m an idol. Kujou Ten: What is your group? Yotsuba Tamaki: IDOLiSH7 and MEZZO". Kujou Ten: What is your dream? Yotsuba Tamaki: …I wanna live with Aya. Kujou Ten: Kujou-san used to be Zero’s manager– and he’s lost all of that once before. Aya is kind. She worries for him. Yotsuba Tamaki: ……You too? Kujou Ten: ……. Perhaps I do….

To be continued….

TL Notes/comments:

ty @kuriiii for proofing my 9120398 typos and weird sentences!!!

(1) I’m 90% sure that the sentence before this is referring to momo hating ryou's parents/older brother (vs the other way around) based off of particles, aka if ryou wanted to say that his parents hated momo it’d be like, 親や兄に嫌われてるだろう？ i think… Anyways this second sentence i don’t want to infer/assume/force meaning onto it too much, because vague subject (probably his parents/older brother) BUT itd make more sense to me if there was [riku voice] JUST TWO MORE LETTERS to change it to ‘they’ve only watched’ … EDIT 5/5: I Fucked Up, forgot to consider in-group+out-group in terms of family. Momo hates RYOUS parents, not his own!!! Momo has an older sister ffs shiroi u dimwit!!!!!! anyways that was a fatal error, I am really sorry about that. Thank you haru-chi foe letting me know! (2) Tsukumo Ryou: You are like a little baby. Watch this. That’s all i wanted 2 say (3) 子孫繁栄 is 1. perpetuation of your descendants 2. family prosperity 3. fertility, a whole bunch of things you probably eat cool things for on new years (if ur east asian)………………. WeLL um anyways minami’s line after yuki’s confirmed it, what with the whole concubines stuff goin on in ancient china. Man. Also bc this is a fortune, I left it more direct… though i’m sure 'many, many’ sounds better than “an unspecified, large number of people” (4) 花嫁修業 - domestic arts / homemaking skills, but for the sake of the convo afterwords (since hanayome means 'bride’, you could loosely translate this to 'studying to be a bride’)

As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!

Thank you for reading!!

#idolish7 #アイドリッシュセブン #story3:tl #story3:text #translation

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