#i really admire that kid and until then you still got me cause I'm not going anywhere

[warpedpuppeteer]

Thinking about how Buck always wanted a family who loves him unconditionally just as he is and he finds it in Eddie and Chris. Thinking about how Eddie is always looking for a partner who makes him feel like they're best friends before anything else and someone who doesn't think of him as a failure and he finds it in Buck. Thinking about how Chris had to wait for years for his mom to come back only for her to die just awhile later which makes him think what's the point anyways but then he has Buck who waded through a tsunami for hours just to find him and who died and went into a coma but found a way to come back like Chris asked him to; not even death being able to keep them apart. Thinking about these 3 lost souls looking for someone who will find them reason enough to stay and finally finding it with each other; a little family of three 🥹🥹🥹

[atinystraynstay]

My View - Lee Felix

Synopsis: Felix was a hard-working guy. He never thought he would be able to achieve his dreams of being a performer. It was even better that he got to experience this journey with his best friends and his biggest supporter, you, his significant other. That doesn't mean Felix doesn't have his bad days.

"If only you could see things from my perspective right now."

Pairing: Idol! Lee Felix x reader Genre: Angst - frustration from rehearsals, established relationship, comforting Felix, fluff towards the end. (I would seriously go to war for Felix)

Word Count: 2.2k

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Pulling up to the JYP building always filled you with excitement. Every time you step through the front doors, you never knew what was awaiting for me. Part of that was due to the eight rowdy boys who called the building their second home. You often heard them before you saw them.

Felix and you have only been together for a few months now. You were still an unfamiliar face walking around the building, which the boys used to their advantage when they wanted to pull pranks and get into trouble. Well, seven of them were always up for causing chaos. Chris preferred to watch from afar and quickly clean up any messes that popped up before anyone noticed. Such a great leader.

You were easily becoming a part of the Stray Kids family. The younger members looked to you as a shoulder to lean on, someone to give advice. Felix’s hyungs approved because they saw how much joy you brought to their sunshine. You were never shy of showing you affection for Felix, always reminding him of your pride in not just being his partner but watching him do what he loved the most. You helped bring normalcy into their lives where they were just a group of guys in their 20s living their best life. They just happened to have high profile careers.

You, on the other hand, worked in the nonprofit sector. Your job focused on education opportunities for immigrant youth. Ironically, your job occupation is one of the many things Felix found attractive about you. Not only was he captivated by your beauty, but he admired your drive and compassion. It takes a lot from someone to do the work you do, but you made it seem so effortless. It just showed how much you cared.

It was late on a Thursday night. You and your team had been prepping for a fundraising event which was taking much of your attention and energy. Nobody really understands how much goes into a nonprofit until they work in one.

Today was one of the days where you two felt like you were pulled in different directions. Felix has been busy the last few days with dance practices, so you knew he had late nights as well. You two would send texts to each other throughout the day, checking in and supporting each other the best you could. Saturdays were reserved just for the two of you for date nights though, so you were relieved knowing you’d see him soon.

The only thing on your mind was ordering take-out and sleeping. That completely changed though when you got a call from Chan. That's odd. He never called me.

You picked up the phone as you put your keys into the apartment door, about to unlock it. "Hey Chan, what's up?" "Y/n? Are you still at work?" "No, I actually just got back to my apartment. What's going on?" "Come to the studio. Now. It's Felix."

Your heart dropped at the mention of Felix. Your mind began racing through all the possibilities of what could be wrong. Was he injured? Did something happen? Whatever it was, you knew you couldn't waste anymore time. "Y/n?" "Sorry, I'm coming," was all you said.

Just as quick as you unlocked it, you yanked the keys out and slammed the front door shut. Your feet carried you quickly down the steps leading up to your unit and straight to your car in the parking lot. You had this sickening feeling in your gut that something was wrong. Especially by the urgency in Chan's voice. He was not the type of guy to sugarcoat anything.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time you got to the JYP building, Hyunjin was upfront waiting for you. That's not a good sign. You parked your car in the guest parking lot before jumping out with your keys, forgetting about your pursue. All that mattered was how quickly you could get to Felix.

"Hyunjin-ah, what's wrong?" "I don't even know. I was just told to wait up front for you, so I could make sure your car is locked. He's in the practice room."

You tossed your car keys to Hyunjin before you took off running towards the practice room. You noticed that five of the other boys lined up the hallway outside of the room. Chan must be in there with Felix. The sight made your heart drop.

Your heavy breathing and footsteps gained the attention of the five members outside. They both looked concerned yet relieved to see you. You didn't have enough time to ask questions before making your way towards the door. All of their eyes were trained on you.

Very gently, you knocked on the door. You didn't want to cause anymore stress, regardless of what might be happening on the other side of the door.

"Changbin, I know you care, but we just need y/n," Chan shouted out from inside. "Chan, it's y/n. I am here."

Silence filled the hallway as everyone seemed to listen in. You could hear footsteps from the other side of the door. You didn't even know you were holding your breath as your mind spiraled to what could be happening on the other side.

The door opened slowly. It revealed Chan who seemed to be a bit revealed. But looking into his eyes, you knew that there was something wrong.

"Guys, listen, I know we all car about Felix, but he only wants y/n right now," Chan explained. His voice was scarily calm yet also quiet. You were always appreciative that Chan looked out for his members, his brothers, his kids. Especially always looking after Felix.

The rest of the guys nodded their heads. They stepped back to make Sur they weren't overcrowding the doorway. All of them cared for one another, so they would do anything for each other.

Chan slowly opened the door, granting you access. He smiled at you as you swapped positions. You were now inside the room where as he joined the rest of the kids out in the hallway. The door closed behind you which caused you to turn fully towards your beloved.

He was sitting on the floor of the practice room, his head in his hands. Of course, some practices got Felix frustrated. You were always there to comfort him, to help him work through any of the choreography to the best of your ability. He always managed to work through it, seeing those frustrations as motivation. This was different.

It was eerily silent in the room. The only thing you could hear was soft sniffles. Each one causing cracks in your heart.

"Lixie?" You called out. You didn't want to make things worse and startle him. You also were aware maybe that he needed space, so you didn't want to violate any of his personal space.

He picked his head up, looking straight ahead. Your eyes met in the reflection of the mirror. A trail of tears was marked on his cheeks, the light catching the wet trail. His eyes were a bit red, which you weren't sure if it was how long he'd been crying or from his hands pressed into his gorgeous face.

"Y/n."

His eyes didn't leave yours. He needed you.

Without running over, you walked to him. You knew sudden movements would make matters worse. In this room, it was just the two of you. You moved with urgency across the practice floor until you were in front of him.

Once you were in front of him, you took a seat on the floor in front of him. You were sitting criss-crossed, your hands gently reaching out to his. You offered a gentle smile. His hands slipped into yours. It was a start. "What's going on, love?" You asked gently.

Now, you weren't sure if Felix wanted to even talk about what he was dealing with. However, you knew it was better to offer than say nothing at all. Felix always knew he could vent to you whenever, but you still liked to remind him that it was safe to do so. You would wait here all day if need be, if that is what Felix needed.

"I'm not good enough," he murmured.

Your heart shattered hearing his self-doubt. There were times Felix got frustrated because he was just so passionate about performing. This is the only thing that he thought he was meant to do in this life. Sometimes you wondered if he thought back to when he got eliminated during their pre-debut days.

However, you knew how hard Felix has overcome to set that now minor setback. He was one of the most recognizable idols in k-pop, proving that to be true with his impressive vocal range and his impressive dance skills. He was born to be on stage. Yet, that didn't mean he didn't doubt himself.

"What happened?" "Lee Know was showing us new choreography he wanted to learn. It acquires a bit more acrobatics than what we usually do. I thought it would be no problem for me, but-"

You could see tears swelling in his eyes again. Some fell but he tried to quickly blink the rest. Letting go of one hand, you squeezed the other to show you had no intentions of leaving. With your now free hand, you reached forward to gently wipe the tears away that were falling onto his cheeks.

His head gently tilted into your thumb. Taking note, you let your full hand cup his cheek. He sighed at the feeling of the warmth of your palm. You smiled gently to see him responsive to you.

The last thing you would want is for Felix to feel like he is doing this on his own. He had his members, his family supporting you and he also had you. Felix always uplifted you on your worst days, helping to remind you of your self-worth. And you would always do the same. This was one of those moments where you needed to reemphasize your role as his significant other. "But I just can't get it. I can't move my body correctly which makes it feel like I'm not trying hard enough," he murmured. "Like I'm failing. You hear groups coming and going, how things can shift overnight. What if I'm the reason stays don't stay and why Stray Kids becomes just a memory and not a legacy? I don't want to disappoint you or the boys."

For a moment, you remained silent. You already were working through the words to say. While you weren't an idol yourself, you didn't want to invalidate Felix's emotions. You knew that the music industry was brutal and there were a lot of risks involved.

What you did know for sure was just how successful Stray Kids is, how successful he is. He was facing a challenge, like he had before, and he would overcome it. Felix just needed to believe in himself. "Baby boy, this is the first day of learning this choreography. It's not going to be perfect no matter how much you wish it was," you sighed. It was the truth. It was frustrating, yes, but it required practice. "I know for a fact though that the boys would never allow you to fail. Maybe you can keep practicing with Lee Know, or maybe you guys change the choreography. The guys will never let you feel like you fail because you guys are one team which means that you help each other out."

Felix nodded his head gently. He was slowly starting to accept his words but he couldn't quite ignore his personal demons yet. That is where you come in. You weren't going to leave his side until your sunshine returned.

"I don't want to disappoint you either." "Felix, love, that is impossible. You are my life, my love. I am impressed simply by your existence."

He raised an eyebrow at you, confused yet encouraging you to continue speaking. You gladly will praise him as much as he needs to hear, or how much anyone was willing to listen.

"I have never met someone as compassionate as you. Even when you are tired, you go out of your way to show your appreciation not just to your fans, to stay, but to the members, your family, and even me. You always are there to lend a helping hand because you care about everyone else sometimes before yourself. It is true you radiate sunshine because you capture everyone's attention, you can make everyone smile just by being in the same room as you."

For the first time since entering the dance studio, he smiled. His forehead leaned forward until he pressed against yours. You smiled up at him, just happy to see him feeling the slightest bit better.

"I am so lucky to have you even when I'm silly and can't regulate my emotions." "Felix, it's normal to feel frustrated. You know better than anyone that I get that way too. But that's why I'm here. I'm here to support you on your best days, your worst days, and the days in between."

You pulled back gently from him. You tilted your head up until your lips pressed against his forehead lingeringly. At the acton, he could feel his ears turn red but also his smile grow. His eyes fluttered shut, just to take in the moment.

He was the luckiest guy in the world to have you, and you felt like you were even luckier.

[ghxst-kun]

"Aww, man!"You hear bakugo hiss from the floor. "This always happens!" he cursed, standing up.

You try to breathe as quietly as possible but you knew it was useless.

Katsuki had great hearing.

He turned around at lightning speed looking right in front of your face.

"Y/n?" He asked.

"Shhh! Keep it down! I don't want the others to know I'm in here!" You whispered, putting your hands over his mouth.

When he nods, as u finally remove ur hands from his mouth and let them drop to ur sides

You did your best not to look down and admire his half naked body.

"Why are you in here?" he whispered. "Were you spying on us?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"NO! The girls wanted to pull a prank on you guys but I ended up getting stuck in here!" You explained desperately.

"Oh!" he sighed, smiling a little. His face soon dropped. "So...did you hear everything then?" he asked, looking down a little and blushing.

You were way too aware of the lack of room in the closet. You was an inch away from being pressed up against bakugo body and it was driving your mind a little wild. Your imagination was going crazy with the possibilities. You were finding it hard to concentrate.

"Not everything…" you said, wanting to tell the truth but not wanting to sound like you listened in on purpose. Even if you did.

"Fuck. I'm sorry, Y/n" he said, a little desperately.

You watch him, confused. What was he apologising for? He still looked down, away from you and he suddenly punched the wall beside him.

You flinched as a bunch of equipment fell off the shelf and landed behind u guys. He jumped forward to avoid u getting hit and ended up flush against You

"You're really close" You whispered, feeling his hot breath against the exposed skin on the top of your chest.

His head was still facing down and his lips were millimetres away from your cleavage. Your closed eyes, trying not to think bad thoughts. He was your best friend. You are not supposed to be in love with your best friend. He was probably in love with another girl.

Your heart was pounding and you could feel your skin getting slick with sweat.

"Y/n" he said, barely more than a whisper. You could feel his lips brush ur skin.

You couldn't help feeling like the room got hotter. You felt a fire spread through your body, rushing through your veins until it pooled at your lower belly.

His head rose until you were face to face. His eyes were hooded and his lips were close enough to kiss.

"Katsuki?" You asked, feeling the whisper of his lips against your own.

"What did you hear?" he asked, his voice deeper and raspier

"I heard you talking to Kirishima about a girl and then you guys all arguing...and the other stuff" you blushed, thinking about katsuki saying he was bigger than Kirishima . You swallowed, trying to dispel your bad thoughts.

“So you don’t know who I like?”he asked, squinting his eyes to assess you.

"No" you sighed, and paused before adding "I'm sure they’re wonderful though…"

You looked down, unable to meet his piercing gaze.

"Why d'ya say that?" he asked.

"Because any girl that you like has to be wonderful. Just like you" you said, sadness seeping through your voice.

"Yeah.. They’re pretty wonderful"

"Well I'm sure they feel the same way and you can get married and have kids. Have the perfect life. You wouldn't need me anymore..."

"Man, I think about havin' kids with them all the time" he said, moving his head so he whispered it in ur ear. You shivered. "But you're wrong. I'd still need you"

"W-Why?" You spluttered, feeling urself go red.

"'Cause they'd need their mum and I'd need my wife." he said cockily, drawing his face away from your ear so he could watch your reaction.

You immediately blushed more than before and spluttered.Your heart was running a mile a minute and you felt the familiar heat settle between your legs.

Before u could think about it any further, he kisses you.

It was a little hesitant at first, like he was worried you was going to push him away, but as soon as you responded, he pushed back with a renewed passion, as if his whole body was overwhelmed with the need to kiss you.

It was like he had caught on fire, he moved his lips against yours in a frenzied passion, not wasting any time as he pushed you against the wall behind you and let his hands wander, not caring about the equipment he knocked to the floor.

Katsuki was actually kissing you. Did that mean you was his crush? It must be, right? He practically told you they were going to get married and have kids. You was pretty sure if he asked then you would say 'yes' immediately to either suggestion.

U moaned, unable to keep it in when realised that having kids with katsuki would mean having katsuki.. seemed to take it as a good sign because he pushed further into you, pressing his body flush against urs so that u could feel his thick erection pressing into u.

U gasped as bakugo took the chance to push his tongue into you mouth, tasting and pressing his tongue against your own. He tasted like gunpowder. That was the best way you could describe it; warm and smokey just like his smell. It turned ur legs to jelly and, if katsuki had not grabbed roughly onto ur hips, u would have collapsed in a puddle in the ground.

The shuffling of feet outside only made katsuki pause for a minute, stilling his lips against urs, before he continued again. Obviously deciding that kissing her was more important than being found out. U couldn't disagree, and u found it flattering that he felt the same.

Luckily, no-one entered as Katsuki’s hands wandered from ur hips, pushing under ur shirt until they rested on the bare skin of ur side, his thumbs skimming the undersides of ur breasts.

Your heart was pounding against ur chest, your breath hitched when He pulled away to look at u with hooded eyes.

"Y/n," he moaned, before he ducked his head to kiss ur neck. U raise ur head to give him better access, shivering as u felt all of his burning kisses.

You weren’t exactly sure how they had gotten to that point but you was just about ready to rip ur shirt off when Katsuki started tugging at it. He only paused his hot kisses for a moment to throw the material away, taking a minute to groan at the sight of ur breasts only clad in a lacy bra, before he pressed his lips against u again, taking advantage of the newly revealed skin by kissing his way over the top of ur chest.

You grab tightly onto his back, so tight u swore u must have dug ur nails in, but neither of u noticed as Katsuki’s hands slowly made their way to the back of your bra.

"Shit wait Katsuki~!" You cooed, forgetting that they should probably be quiet considering their surroundings.

He deftly unhooked ur bra.

"Shit, y/n. You're even hotter than I imagined." He groans, watching ur chest intensely, as if he was trying to memorise it for a later date.

Before u could even reply - or question the fact that he had imagined u naked - he had dipped his head down to take one of ur nipples in his mouth, rolling his tongue around it experimentally until u gasped. He used a spare hand to play with ur free breast, pinching and moulding it until u were finding it hard to contain ur moans.

He pressed u further against the wall and grinded against u, swearing at the sweet friction it created. Just as he was about to buck against u again, u wrap ur legs around his waist to get closer together. It was so worth it when u felt his hard length rub u again.

"Ah! Katsu! So good!" You cried, hardly able to make fully formed sentences.

Head clouded with lust, you pulled one hand from his back and snaked it around his front, slipping it into his boxers to explore the one part of him u had never been able to touch before. He hissed as u wrap ur hand around him, moving his head away from ur breast to press ur foreheads together. His eyes were scrunched shut and he let a gasp out as u gently rubbed up and down his shaft.

Before u knew it, bakugo was pulling off ur shorts and diving a hand inside of ur panties. You gasped - unsure whether it was because of the shock or the pleasure - as his hot fingers found ur clit and started gently massaging it.

"So warm," he moaned, moving his face so he could give u a lingering kiss. "Fucking Wet," he said, as he slid his fingers along ur slit, trying to find ur opening.

You was desperately clutching onto both his back and his erection, moving ur hand faster so he could feel just as good as he was making you feel right now.

You bit back a cry as his finger finally slipped into ur entrance. It was new and strange but it felt so good and when he starting moving it in and out u had a hard time remembering what u were supposed to be doing.

"So good," you gasped as he let another finger slip inside you. "So, so good!"

He started moving his fingers fast, teasing ur clit with his thumb.

"Come on y/n." He demanding, curling his fingers until u let out a quiet scream, "Fuck. You need to come."

You weren’t sure if it was his demand or the way he kissed u - hard - after, but it u shattered instantly, Katsuki swallowing your whimpers as u came on his fingers.

U could still feel his hard, throbbing erection in ur hands and u knew u were far from done. You needed him. So bad

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Keep Thinking About Gale x Single Mom!Tav

A/N: Shout-out to @leighsartworks216 for letting me ramble to them about it. I just need to get all this stuff rattling around in my brain out.

I know, I know, Gale repeatedly says he's not father material, but have you considered that I want him to be a dad anyway and it's cute

So in my brain this single mom is named Gwen (Guinevere); a half-elf, wild magic sorceress

She came from a fairly well to do family, married a handsome and acceptably rich merchant and soon had a child on the way

Problems came when she gave birth to a healthy baby girl, who also happened to be a teifling

Seen as a bad omen, both her family and husband wanted her to give up the child, she refused causing her husband to leave her and her family to reject her

She didn't let that stop her though and soon she found a new home for her and Clara

Over the next eight years she worked hard to build a life for herself and make sure Clara never doubted for a moment she was loved

Gwen knew the world would be hard on her girl, so she made a point to build up her confidence and teach her it's never wrong to fight back when people are treating you unfairly; you can't take that shit lying down

Blunt and a bit intense, Gwen has seen and done plenty of shit and thought she finally had a handle on her life; and then she got kidnapped by illithids

Still haven't played the game, so I can't give a play by play of every interaction, but I do know early game she would be a bit distracted

Obviously her first goal is to figure out if her daughter is okay so it frankly is the only thing on her mind until she gets her hand on a sending scroll or something like it

Only after does she confirm that Clara is safe and with people she trusts can she focus on the task at hand

Takes a liking to Gale basically from the word go; he's respectful, he know hows to cook, he keeps making comments about his tongue, there is only so much a woman can handle

Gods know it has been a while since she's gotten laid

He starts rambling about magic and she can't not fuck him

Gale is hesitant at first because first the orb, second Gwen has made no secret she had a child and Gale doesn't see himself as father material, and three because he does really, really like her and doesn't want to make promises he can't keep

I'd say they're able to meet Clara before they head come to Baldur's Gate so Gale and the rest can meet her earlier; and to give Gwen some peace of mind

Clara is a very curious and headstrong, both of which Gale can appreciate; he can see why Gwen was so determined to get back to her, which only makes him admire her more

Also, quick aside about the rest of the companions; Wyll and Karlach would be ready to baby sit at any given moment, Lae'zel admires the child's fighting spirit and absolutely gifted her a sword, Shadowheart enjoys her more mischievous tendencies, and Astarion is classic wine aunt who hates all kids except Clara (he's been helping her stage of coup of the swing set)

Eventually feelings are confessed between Gale and Gwen leading to a proper relationship (and Gwen actually getting laid)

Gwen is absolutely not having it with him trying to blow himself up or becoming a god

Mystra: You must destroy yourself and the orb. Gale: Alright, let me ask Gwen. Mystra: No, that's not--. Gale: She said no.

Once everything is said and done, I'm going back and forth on if they would settle in Waterdeep

Clara has friends and it would be hard to ask her to leave, but I think Gale could compromise and get a position at a different magical university closer by

Either way, Gale settles into the domestic life rather nicely and dives head first into being the best father to Clara he can be

He absolutely devours every parenting book he can get his hands on, only to throw it all out the window once he's actually in it; Gwen did warn him, but old habits and all that

Probably waits a little longer to actually get married to see how they all function as a family together first; plus he wants to properly ask Clara if she's okay with him marrying her mother

I've got other random thoughts, but that about covers it for now, if you want to know more, feel free to drop an ask! I'm up for anything.

[moonlight-sonata99]

Best Friend

Neteyam x reader

Part 2 more than friends

A/n: We getting on the best friend trope because IT'S CUTE! i just feel like that's the best way of falling for this guy, Btw If you feel like you need more dw  this is still being written it just got so long i need to make a part 2-

Warning: Heavy pining on readers side. 

 We were so young when we met, My parents were warriors and The Olo’eyktan and his mate met during a ceremony, They became friends shortly after.

“ Go on [Name}...Introduce yourself” My mothers hand brushed against my head urging me to go forward and the two parents ahead of me gazed at me smiling lightly. I fiddled with my fingers and i looked up at them meeting there gold eyes, 

“H-hello,” I murmur nervously as i set my gaze back down my cheeks warm out of nervousness. The adults laugh and talk 

“They're adorable.” The lady says through a smile and looks at my parents. They continue to talk and i begin to walk away slowly until a hand places itself on my shoulder i let a gasp as i look up to see the olo’eyktan who whispered a small hi as he sat in front of me his other hand placed on the back of another kid who looked at me with a small shy smile on his face.

“I want you to meet someone, His name is neteyam” He said looking at his son and looking back at me patting neteyams back and standing up and walking away to talk to the other adults.

You and neteyam stood there as the adults in back of you spoke loudly,you spoke up still nervous,

“Uhm..Do you wanna go play?” i ask sticking my hand out as he looked at my hand and smiled and gave me a nod with a small ”Hmph!”and placed his hand in mine as we headed out the hut.

“WOOO” I yelled out into the air as water splatter into my face,steering my ikran. Neteyam who was admiring the landscape turned his head at me with a smile “Your really enjoying this arent you” he said his ikran coming near mine. 

“Of course!I rarely got to see you when i came back. Your so busy” i exclaim  as he nods looking ahead 

“I know,so-” 

“Dont apologize. I-i didnt mean it that way, It came out wrong” interrupting him i look at him “i imagine being a big brother is hard work” i softly say and he turned his gaze to me and his gold eyes then set on the horizon.

“Hey..this was meant to get your mind off things so…race ya!” i say and my ikran swoops down, The air becoming more violent as i hear neteyam scream behind me

“That's not fair!” I could hear the smile in his voice though, as I continued to smile and continue.

~~~

“I’ll get you next time though” i laugh jumping off of my ikran and walk towards neteyam, as he smiles 

“I would like to see that..If i don't beat you again” he laughs as he takes off his visor,and walks on the platform overlooking the view. The light was halfway gone making everything golden, I walked next to him lightly nudging his shoulder as we sat down on the edge of the floating rock. We stay quiet,admiring the beautiful view. 

“So really how are things back there hm?” I softly ask, as he turns to look at me. 

“So-so, getting lo’ak out of all that stuff” he chuckles looking at his hands. He looks at me again. “What about you?”  he ask placing his hands on the ground and leaning on them,

“Mehhh, You know. Hunter stuff. I'm glad that all done though cause now ill be able to bug you and terrorize lo’ak!'' I exclaim as he laughs. And he shakes his head.

Neteyam’s family felt like they were my family. My parents died a long time ago. I barely remember them now,I feel bad about it sometimes. When It comes to family it feels like the whole village is also my family.After my parents died everyone took care of me in a way. But I always stayed near the sully’s. Near Neteyam. 

We spoke about stories,experiences we had while we were separated. Until the eclipse fell and we laid there looking at the stars.There Light hypnotized us as we gazed at them. 

“Neteyam…we should go back.you parents would be worried” i whisper, never tearing my gaze away from the sky.

He stayed quiet, 

“Neteyam?” I whisper again as I turn my head to look at him. His eyes were closed and his chest rose up and down softly. His lips were opened slightly and his cheek was pressed against the ground.As his right hand reached towards me slightly opened.

My heart thumped in my chest, as my eyes stayed on neteyam sleeping form. As I brought myself closer to him and rested my head against his. My breath is heavy. Looking up to the stars once again,i asked myself

‘How have I never noticed what a beautiful man neteyam has become?’

 I spent the rest of the night looking at the stars and stealing glances at neteyams face.

My eyes opened and the light blinded me as I brought my hand up to my eyes and covered them.  I yawned and stretched. Then my eyes widened as I turned my head quickly to look at the beautiful man next to me. I grabbed his shoulders and shook them lightly.

“Neteyam!!neteyam!!” I whispered to him in a sharp tone, as his eyes opened quickly as he looked at me.

“What happened??” he asked, his voice groggy from sleep.

“We have to go!! Your dad is going to kill me!” I called my ikran and he called his. As he looked at me smiling.

“Are you scared of my dad?” 

“uhm ,yes??i've seen him when he gets mad at lo’ak,worst case he grounds you.” I state getting on my ikran and looking at neteyam, saluting at him with two fingers 

“Good luck soldier” i say before flying off as he laughs

“Where are you going?! you basically live with us!” he says laughing loudly.

One year later

“Hey,are you doing okay?” i ask catching up to Neteyams ikran with mines, he turns to look at me

“Yea,I'm okay. Just..never rode an ikran this long” He states shifting his body to be more comfortable.

“You said it. My butt hurts.” you blurt out as a small laugh erupts left of you, as you turn your head to look at the little eavesdropper.

“Good morning little tuk-tuk” I say looking at tuk you had just woken up and held onto neytiri.

“Hello!” she said, flashing me a smile, as i made a silly face at her and he in return returned it back. Shaking my head and laughing, I look forward.

It was quiet. Only the wind passing my ear made a sound and the occasional cry of an animal. 

I was happy that Jake had asked me to come with them. I almost cried when Neteyam told me his family was leaving the forest. I don't know how I would have managed not being able to see them. 

Not being able to see my Best Friend at all.

Well “Best friend”

 I let my ikran fall behind as i let my eyesight fall to the back of Neteyams head,his braids flowing in the wind.

It's been a year now, since..that night in the mountains. Ever since my heart beats only for neteyam, He has never spoken of mates…yet. I was afraid he ever would, I let out a sigh as looking down. I dont know if i could ever le-

“So…you're making goo goo eyes at him again?”  a voice interrupts my thoughts,my head darts up to see kiri smirking at me. My eyes widen and my cheeks warm up.

“Uh-at the view, yes it's very beautiful. Isn't it?” I say looking at the view ahead of us as kiri shakes her head giggling.

“It's okay,to say it y’know,I won't tell a soul.” she said, placing a hand on her chest. Our ikrans falling more behind from the group.

“I..it's not weird is it?”I softly ask her gazing back at the group just to ensure no one heard us.

“No..not at all!” she reassured me with a gentle tone, as I felt heavy weight lift off my shoulders.”Look if it makes you feel any better, every time we had a meeting back at home…Lets just say there was always a pair of eyes looking for you.” she states and begins to rejoin the group, as my eyes widen a little bit and i look toward her “w-wait kiri!!”

Days passed,then we found ourselves in the lands of the Metkaina, And then months passed and it felt like we had been there forever. But never forgetting our home in the forest, I for one could never get enough being in the water. It was like another home for me, and being in the water was so serene. Everything was still  as well as gentle. I swam through the small corals as I admired the school of fish that I had come across. After the fish had left I looked up at the surface to see the light coming through the water. It was such a sight to behold, I would lay there until I felt myself running out of breath. That's exactly what I did. I gasped for air,pulling up the hair that had gotten in my face. 

“Figured i’d find you here” a voice said behind me,

“Neteyam?hey!” I said , turning around to face him. As he swam towards me

“No big brother duties?” I ask with a smile on my face as he moves his hands through the water. 

“Actually dad told me to “Take it easy”” he admits looking around him.

“Really?” I breathe out “Well that's a first.” I add as neteyam nods.

“Hey, there's still light out.'' I state as he looks at me.

“So..?” he trails off as i stick my hands out towards him as he turns his gaze to it, he lets out a ‘Ohh’ and takes my hand. 

“It's beautiful out here. Let's enjoy it” i say before dipping my head underwater and swimming deeper, letting the water guide us as our bodies flowed through it. I felt Neteyam’s hand slip away from mine,turning my head to look at him. He seemed to be entranced by the same view I love. To see light shine through the water, I swam up near him, floating in the water. He didn't seem to notice me. His gaze set on the surface above us. I let myself admire him, Neteyam’s braids flowed in the water and moved as if they were magic, and his face lit with the light that came through. And his golden eyes shine even more. 

I wanted to stare at them for as long as I could,if he would let me. 

 Ma Neteyam,If you were to ever choose a mate

Choose me.

[dapperhannah]

Feeling Human Again (part 1)

Chan x Reader

Chan's been too invested in working on music that he's neglected almost everything. You are over waiting for him to finish and take matters into your own hands. Until he takes them into his.

content warning (this chapter but probably the next one): sex, oral, dirty talk, subxdom, please dont ever read this chan or i will jump into the moon

Somehow it had never gotten easier on Chan's studio days. He warned you off the bat that he was almost completely unreachable.

"I really focus on those days, babe. I need you to know it's kinda like I drop off the face of the earth for 12 hours."

"I'll be fine! I'll just text Felix to give me attention. He's pretty good at keeping me entertained with goofy videos or coming over to play games."

But when deadlines would get closer and closer, almost everyday was a studio day. A week would go by with the only messages you'd get from Chan were a good morning and good night both at the wee hours of the night. You knew it was taking a toll on him when you could see the dark circles under his eyes during the few moments you would get with him.

Today was going to be different. Chan's good morning text came around 6AM as usual, with the same kissy face emoji. Great, you think, He's in the studio. Mission is a go.

Sneaking into the studio wasn't very hard. Hyunjin, Felix, Minho, and Jeongin were all practicing in the dance hall. They didn't even question when you came through anymore. It was pretty normal just to come hang out while they rehearsed. They hollered for you to come hang out, but you waved them off.

Passing by the gym, you saw Changbin deeply focused on weight lifting while Jisung very leisurely walked on the treadmill, eyes closed and mumbling the song he was singing. It was always such a treat to see how each of the kids spent their freetime. The album was still a few weeks away, but their managers had them on a short break to catch up on just feeling human.

Chan's studio was right around the corner now. There was nothing in the way of you and distracting your man to feel that human way. But, of course, there was Seungmin.

It was no surprise to see him wandering the halls, but to bump right into him caused both of you to jump.

"Minnie!"

"Y/N!"

You comically clutched at your invisible pearls, Seungmin pretending to cover himself up as though you'd caught him in the shower, both laughing up a storm.

"What are you doing?" Seungmin asked, his little puppy head cocked to the side, "I'm just about to join the guys for dance practice if you wanna join!"

"Thank you, Minnie, but I've got... other plans." You eyed the door to the recording studio, the windows blacked out and the "DO NOT DISTURB" sign plastered on the outside.

Seungmin nodded knowingly.

"He's been in there so much recently. Even though we still see him every night at the dorm, it's like he's not even there. I miss him."

"Me too. I'm going to try and get him to come back to reality - even just for a bit."

The sweet puppy boy nodded again, a goofy grin spread across his face, before he ran off down the hall. It was both sweet as well as heartbreaking that the guys missed him. Whenever you'd text back and forth with Felix, it would eventually go from stupid memes to talking about Chan. You both really loved and admired him so it wasn't very hard to get to the topic.

Turning the door handle quietly, you slid into the dark room. The front room that was usually lit up and comfy was filled with shadows. A glow was emitting from the soundboard and you could see the shape of your favorite Aussie. His headphones were on so you knew he couldn't hear you, but it still felt necessary to tiptoe.

Chan's eyes were closed, lost in whatever music he was listening to. His outfit was lazy comprised of the same hoodie and sweatshirt you'd seen him wearing the last time you two had a whole day of rest together. It took everything in you not to pull open the door and jump on him.

But that wouldn't be necessary when Chan's eyes flashed open and glanced your way. You were in the dark, there's no way he could see you... right?

"You don't have to hide, I know when the door opens and closes."

You felt like a deer in headlights. You'd never bugged him during his producing session. It felt like a sacred time for Chan and who were you to intrude on that.

"Y/N, please. Just come here."

You sheepishly entered the soundboard room, head hung down, looking like a guilty puppy who just ripped up the couch.

"Babe, I just missed y-"

Before you could even finish, your sweet love wrapped you up in a tight embrace. It was warm, needy. The touch of someone who was so starved for any sort of affection.

"Miss you too. I'm sorry."

Pulling out of the hug, you can see the tears well up in Chan's eyes. You felt them in your own as well, overwhelmed by his and your own emotions.

"Baby, Chan, please. Do not be sorry. You've been busy."

"I know, but I've been neglecting everything. It's amazing I at least eat a little bit and shower."

You run your hands through his hair, absorbing the serotonin that just came from the fluff on his head.

"You need to take more breaks - and not just for me. The guys miss you too."

He hung his head down the same way you had before. You took his face in your hands, turning to face you directly.

"And don't give me that pouty face anymore please. I'm here now."

Wiping the wetness trapped in the corner of his eyes, Chan's demeanor changed. Something took over him in that moment that was so out of pocket.

"You are here, huh?" He whispered with a smirk. His arms wrapped around you, where they slowly melingered from your back to your waist to your butt.

"Yes... Chan, what's up? You know we're here. At your studio. With your management and other memebers literally down the hall."

The mischevious look on his face only intensified as you spoke.

"Well, this is a soundproof room. And the doors lock."

[hell-drabbles]

Hi!!! I would like to apologise first for my bad english but reading through your blog made me think of something: How do you feel about an Angel! Companion not the angst one where they got angelification but as in God's creation. Companion is somewhat of an angel already on how they correct and guide Ra-on.

Angel! Companion who is a blank slate grew up with Ra-on and Minhyeok who later started to adapt human emotions.

Angel! Companion who died protecting Ra-on and causing him a mental break down.

Angel! Companion who after their death methamorphosise(?) into their angel form.

Ra-on who is feeling conflicted, happy to see his companion alive but at the same feeling betrayed/ in disbelief by Angel! Companion's secret.

Angels who are obsessed with regrooming Angel! Companion out of their humanity because they are not letting their youngest sibling not know about Angel Ethics.

Sorry for the long paragraph. I'm kinda obsessing over the whole wolf in sheep's clothing concept. I am sooo interested in your thoughts or HC about this.

Let's see... Well, I hope you don't mind if my thoughts go all over the place and in no chronological order.

Playing around with a concept like that, I would imagine that this Companion was essentially God's last creation before he vanished, a sort of incomplete creation at that because they had basically nothing. No role, no position or anything of the sort. Really, the only thing they have going on in their head is that drive to seek out God, if only to find out the reason why he made them this way. And so, without telling anyone, and without anyone caring, they simply wandered out of Heaven and went to the human world.

They wander, probably take on the form of a kid and end up meeting Ra-on and Minhyeok and the rest is basically history. While it's not official that the Companion is adopted, the Companion is either living with Ra-on or Minhyeok. Childhood shenanigans ensue, kiddos admiring the coolheadedness of the Companion, their big ol strength.

And, of course, the tragedy happens. Ra-on parents are killed. My angsty brain wants to have the Companion be there for that event. Death isn't new to them so they're not in a state of panic, but it's still incredibly unsettling to see the Companion covered in blood while curled over Ra-on as they blocked his ears.

I like to imagine that the angel that killed Ra-on's parents recognized the Companion as one of their kin and actually pats the Companion on the head for the sheer level of emotional manipulation they're doing on Solomon's bloodline. They'll come for Ra-on later, so make sure he doesn't die to something stupid. This angel is talking some real revealing stuff so the Companion has to block Ra-on's ears.

This type of Companion would have a different dynamic with Ra-on compared to the original, because this Companion would be more driven by guilt for intentionally keeping Ra-on in the dark about some heavy shit. Leads to a lot of avoidant behavior on the Companion's part and any anger would just, be pushed riiiight down because the guilt would come back. Then they'd just, disengage from any and all conversations and just, calm down. This does lead to Ra-on believing that he's a burden to them, that the Companion can't stand the sight of him anymore. He tries to close the deepening gap, but until the root of the problem is solved, it's only going to make things worse. Are they even friends anymore?

The answer is yes, and it is unfortunate that they're both controlled by deep shame of themselves. The Companion can and will risk their life for Ra-on, because how else can they make up for the fact that they've been lying by omission for all these years.

And so comes the time for the Companion to finally be free of that disguise of theirs. Whatever the circumstances, be it to save their own life or some sort of messed up rebirth, the Companion is back to how they used to look, and now Ra-on has to digest the fact they've been lying for so many years. But, as much as he wants to be angry, the Companion was then stolen away, back to Heaven.

Man, I really wish I had more information regarding Heaven and how it works. My brain can only create so much before it spits out not so good ideas.

[wepsi]

This is low even for you Mammon(smut)

(art is not mine, follow @ rfuuriee on Instagram!)

male reader(but everyone can enjoy!)

Some fan service and love to ma guys, tell me if it's gud ToT

Cw: BJ, anal

Scenario: Your things keep disappearing from your room, by coincidence you walk into Mammon's room and discover all of them!

A little bit after moving into devildom, your things have slowly been disappearing! First it was small things like pencils and charms, but now whole pillows have been going missing! Was it Belphie stealing your pillows? Was it Asmo stealing your underwear? Was it Levi stealing your posters? To be honest it could be anyone and you were determined to figure it out.

By sheer coincidence you walk into Mammon's room late night, because you couldn't sleep. After knocking for a while you test the door, it was open but Mammon was not inside. Maybe he's hiding? Look you never know what is going through these demon's heads. After looking around in his room you start finding your things strategically hidden away or in plain sight.

"Hey! This is my pillow, and here is my figuring. Oh geez a used tooth brush? You got to be kidding me, my missing underwear?"

You hear rustling at the door, and see a wild mammon trying to sneak out. Knowing better he comes froward to you like a kicked puppy, fidgeting his hands.

"Mammon what the hell?"

"Ughhhhh I don't know how those got in here."

You frown and raise one eyebrow, clearly not buying his lies. Dangling the underwear in front of him,

"This is low even for you Mammon."

His face was all shades of pink, thief clearly caught red handed. Amused you place your hand on his chest and push him backward with each question.

"So what do you do with these Mammon? Do you hump my pillows?"

"No!"

"Do you use my tooth brush?"

"Nooo"

"Do you perhaps, Sniff and masturbate with my underwear?"

"Na-umph"

He plops and falls backwards onto the bed. Pulling up his shirt, exposing his beautiful chest, you trail a finger down the middle to his raging hard on,

"I know you're obsessed with me Mammon, and that's ok I think it's cute."

Mammon looks perplexed under you, clearly was expecting a scolding. His face still flushed, he easily pushed you down under him instead. A cocky grin decorating his face from hearing that you basically confessing to him(in his mind).

"Oi I'll admit the great Mammon likes you a little bit, but you can't deny your attraction to me either."

He palms at your heated length, earning a slight moan from you. This newfound confidence in Mammon causing him to make all the moves on you. Pulling a uno reverse, he lifts up your shirt. Unlike him you don't go around exposing your chest so this is his first time seeing it. Admiring you for a good few minutes until you nudge him back to reality.

He peppers kisses down your chest, giving your nipple a nibble on the way down, then unzips your pants zipper with his teeth, spicy~ He pulls out your cock and puts it in his mouth without hesitation. He really is desperate for you, grabbing onto his white fluffy hair you feel him sweetly sucking on you. As a fellow man he knew exactly what to do to make you feel good, getting all the brownie points for the main event.

Grabbing the lube bottle from the hidden spot (How many things is he hiding in his room?) He pulls down your pants and underwear. You tug on his pants, not wanting to be the only one naked, which he complied and stripped as well. Applying the lube to his fingers, and warming it up slightly for you, how thoughtful of him before he railed you. Inserting it into your hole, he works on stretching it out, when it gave in easily he raises a eyebrow at you,

"Did you stretch yourself out thinking of me? And you say I'm the obsessed one."

Not being able to say anything but a whimper, Mammon chuckles at you and leans down to kiss you, tangling his tongue with yours while his fingers were still working you. Not wanting to hurt you he kept at this for a while before you grew impatient and tugged on his arm,

"It's fine Mammon, I think I'm ready."

"I know, I just... don't want to hurt ya."

You gave him a reassuring kiss, which he happily accepted and adjusted himself lining up to you. Even with the preparation it was a stretch, he was just really big since he was a demon after all. After bottoming out, Mammon leaned forward to give you more encouraging kisses while you adjusted. After you bucked your hips on him ready for more, Mammon started moving.

After the initial bit it flowed more easily, he was looking at the place you're connected and gawked flustered and amazed. Looking up at Mammon, his face distorted in pleasure and sweet moans escaping his lips. You can't ignore the grunts coming out of your mouth as well. His hair starting to stick to his forehead with sweat, you pull him down into a heated kiss.

Because of the size difference between a demon and a human, he was hitting all your sweet spots effortlessly. Him leaning against you to kiss you only added friction to your cock as well. Being both of your first times with each other and the excitement, the experience didn't last as long as you would've liked. With one quick stroked that bottomed out, Mammon shot ropes of cum into you, and making sure you came as well, painting his chest.

Wiping your cum away with his shirt, he gives you a kiss. But you saw his hands sneakily tucking the shirt away,

"Mammon! Do NOT keep a shirt stained with my cum!"

..............................................................................................................................

Check out my master list for more!

Check out my kinktober list <;3"

[donnerpartyofone]

tagged by @moviesludge so this totally gratuitous info dump is his fault! Har har.

Do you make your bed? Sometimes! We usually just smooth out the covers, just so it's easy to get in at night and not all tangled up. I have a lot of just, executive and mechanical problems with maintenance and cleaning. I actually like having things neat and I like the monotony of cleaning, I have a fantasy life in which I'm just straight up a housewife, but I'm really bad at it. It causes me a lot of grief.

Fave number? 2! From when I was really little I had this sense that two was coming up all the time; obviously this must have been some sort of projection, but it stuck with me. I perceived some sort of subtext about being number two in life somehow, like being good but not meaningfully great at anything, which is fairly neurotic but typical of me as a kid. Anyway I was very disappointed when I learned by accident that Adam Levine has "222" tattooed on his arm, so I guess I won't be doing anything like that!

What’s your job? I guess I have to say I'm a writer, which feels embarrassing. If you say something like that, it sounds like you are succeeding at it, or that you at least make a living that way! Which is not, and may never be true. But it's the only thing anyone will pay me for right now. I have to admit that I feel pretty bad about this, I think I made a huge mistake by trying to see what I could do with my life, and not devoting absolutely all of my energy to finding and keeping a job in a cubicle or behind a cash register. Everyone automatically tells you it's best to "follow your dreams" or whatever but it's not very romantic to have no idea what's going to happen to you, and to be in danger because you're a fucking infant who doesn't know how life works.

Go back to school? Probably not. I was a good student up until I got into college, then I completely fell apart. Part of it was what I now understand are neurological issues, part of it was that I was so depressed I couldn't even get up and go to exams at times, and part of it was that I just had absolutely no idea what to do with my life or even HOW people do things with their lives (I still don't). Like I almost should have just done another four years in high school, or until I had some mental grasp of what college is even for, as a tool for transitioning into real life. The irony is that now I do college-level (possibly even grad level, sometimes) research and writing all the time, under my own power, just because I'm interested and I have a few outlets for it. My professors who struggled to get me to do anything would kill me if they could see what I'm doing now, haha. But if I were to go back to school, I would have to have an absolutely definite plan of why and what to do with it, that would make the debt and the time sink worth it. I admire people who do this, though, I do know adults who totally turned their lives around that way. I just don't have the brains for that.

Can you parallel park? I don't have a driver's license! I learned to drive, and I seem to recall being good at this during lessons. But I failed my one test, I genuinely think the conductor was being really confusing and getting angry with me--like, I was waiting at a light and when it turned green I started to go, and she goes, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!" and I said "I stopped at the red light and when it turned green I drove in the direction you told me to" and she goes "...WELL DID YOU *NOTICE* THAT IT TURNED GREEN???" which was a totally mindblowing question. And then I just felt so demoralized that I never tested again. But I also really think that if I got my license I would be dead by now, or someone else would be. I'm just so extremely nervous and absent-minded, and I also have pretty bad spacial understanding.

Job you had that would surprise people? My first job was working in a perfume factory! Or really it was like a plant that packaged these extremely toxic dollar store perfumes. It was run by a Russian family who were totally fucking insane and the machines were all janky, it was just a handful of us girls from high school working there and it's amazing none of us ever got maimed. The glue for the labels was really shitty, so they would set pallets of bottles out in the sun until they were blazing hot and then we were supposed to roll them between our palms to stick the labels back on. It was extremely painful and I remember thinking, they probably shouldn't be allowed to make us do this lol. The building was tucked back off the road across this wasteland, and there was a giant pile of broken toilets out front. I'll never forget that, I wish I had a photo.

Aliens real? You know what, I'm going to completely plagiarize moviesludge's answer because I find it so satisfying: "I feel like the scope of the universe makes this a certainty and it amazes me how many people think it’s a ridiculous idea. Talk about main character syndrome!" And I will just add that I read Whitley Strieber's Communion for the first time last year and it totally stunned me. I thought I knew what it was going to be like, because to some degree it established all of our cliches about alien abduction, but there's way more to it than that. He has this existential concept about what aliens even are, and what rules they obey, that is not at all restricted to the idea of animals that drive machines around. It's totally worth reading.

Can you drive stick? That's how I learned actually! And I have this concept that if I did have to drive I would be decent at it because I was fairly comfortable during lessons, and for years I have been riding my bike in really tricky situations all over the city. I know and obey the rules and I have a pretty good awareness of myself on the road. And also I always seem to be paired with a best friend or partner who LOVES to drive and I have spent huge amounts of time in cars, paying close attention and helping navigate. But as I said above, my brain is also garbage and I think if I drove a LOT and gave myself regular opportunities to get in trouble, I would inevitably have a nervous breakdown and/or fuck up way worse than a normal person.

Guilty pleasure? I'm with @thechurchofsplatterdaysaintssplatterdaysaints in that I sort of object to this concept. But I also spend a lot of time watching absolute shit movies and television, and some of the time I have an excuse--it's fun, it's anthropologically interesting, whatever--but a lot of the time I'm literally just deadening my senses because I'm so overloaded with depression and anxiety, and I'm not even paying attention, the TV is just ON. I don't think that's great. I don't know if I would call this "pleasure" but it is some form of indulgence.

Tattoos? A bunch! It's hard to explain but I kind of used them as a form of exposure therapy. I have struggled with some kind of phobia of doing anything that you can never change or take back, and getting tattoos helped. And I like them, I like most of mine. There's only two I'm really not crazy about, but they don't upset me that much, they have their good points too.

Fave color? Mainly red. Also orange and yellow and black. I kind of hate blue, my enjoyment of blue is highly conditional.

Fave type of music? In this phase of my life I generically prefer experimental or ambient music with no lyrics or vocals. This can span a lot of eras and genres.

Do you like puzzles? Maybe I would if I did them and I might find it therapeutic. Generally speaking I feel too stupid for them; like one thing I like about the original Resident Evil 4 is that the puzzle aspect of it is so primitive, it's almost in there just to check a box in between button-mashing violence. That's more my speed of game entertainment.

Phobias? Hm I'm afraid of lots of things, but as far as a proper phobia that's irrational: I have these fantasies of things exploding, like just shattering for no reason and being incredibly destructive. Like common household objects or whatever. And I have a lot of intrusive thoughts about people around me suddenly turning into psychotic monsters (monster can be literal or figurative) and I just can't find a rational defense reaction. But these are not true phobias in the sense of being a real, controlling force in my decision-making, I don't think they're really going to affect me. I really enjoy that thing about how trypohobia is not a real phobia because no one has to be treated for it in order to effectively navigate their life. It's just a dislike, and a pretty normal and understandable one. People on the internet have a lot of trouble telling the difference between things like phobias, moral objections, and just stuff that they don't like!

Favorite childhood sport? I was and am a total loser who can't do sports, but I guess the answer is karate. I took a year or two of that at a really great place sometime when I was 10-12, I really enjoyed the repetitive discipline of it and I was good at that kind of slow and steady, strength-based thing. I could say that I stopped because my mom was dying and that sapped my motivation, but I actually think the truth is that I was getting to the point where sparring was more a part of it, and I'm not fast or spontaneous and I don't like when people touch me, so I knew I was never going to test out of my last belt and I might not enjoy it as much as I advanced. I still think about doing another martial art, though. I think it might help me pay attention to my physical health, and get out of my head and into my body, and maybe it would also help me learn not to be so afraid of human contact. I need to pick something that's decent for people who are short and squat, though. Everyone always tells you there's no rule that says certain forms are suited to certain body types, it's all about integrity and commitment and building ability, but I really don't think that's true! (Let me know if you have opinions on this)

Talk to yourself? Yeah. Living in the city for a long time bred the habit of talking to myself like an absolute crazy person right out on the street when I'm not doing well; it's like, everyone else is acting crazy, who fucking cares! But I'll also talk to myself when I'm alone in the house just because I like words and making sounds and telling jokes. I have no problem with the stigma of talking to oneself.

Movies you adore? So many. Movies are my whole life. How do I pick, I don't know! Some recent ones I had to write about are UZUMAKI, DELICATESSEN, SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES, and DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE which might literally be my favorite movie of all time, although I have a problem with that concept.

Coffee or Tea? Mostly coffee, there's less action/decision-making involved. But I like tea also. Some of my favorites are licorice, anything with cinnamon, and also savory toasted grain teas.

1st thing you wanted to be when grew up? I wanted to be a screenwriter. I liked movies and my dad is a writer, and it just seemed obvious. But I never learned anything about the discipline of it or the professional trajectory. And I was really poisoned by the whole "you can be anything you want!" idea, I feel terrible for saying that when so many people get zero support or faith from adults in childhood, but it's true. I heard and believed that blanket statement, but I didn't have the clarity or mental toughness to specialize and understand the meaning and implications of having a goal. It was just like, oh I could be a writer, or I could be an artist, or I could be in the movies, or blah blah blah I guess one of these things will just land on my head some day. I had no fucking clue, I still don't. It's hopeless! But you wanna know what's really weird, when I was little I also had this strange fixation on being in the army--but I had zero fantasies about combat or anything exciting, it was entirely this idea about being really good at boot camp, being able to endure any form of punishment. And I had a similar concept about JAIL, I remember reading this children's photo book that explained all about prison, and I think it was just this whole fantasy about having intensely disciplined obedience and being able to endure anything! I still think I'm going to jail some day but it's just because I feel so guilty about everything. Obviously the main conclusion to be drawn from this is that I am a natural born pervert.

tagging @hechiceria @sleepsafe @columbosunday @clarabeau @barnsburntdownnow @punisheddonjuan

[ratking-mo]

Lovingly hated

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Synopsis: You are one of the highest-ranking students at your university. To be completely honest; this is only because you need to keep your scholarships till the summer. However, you decided the knowledge you gained and helped other students out by tutoring them and helping them study! It’s an honest living. This is until Gabriel, your academic rival (according to him) requests a study session with you. That’s weird, he’s in the rank directly below you… what could he want?

Tags: Sub!Top reader, Dom!Bottom character, enemies to hookups, Reader is kinda stupid, insertion, spit as lube, stalking (??), cock traditions (could be read as a strap), smut ends abruptly due to intrusion.

Word count: 4.2k

Authors note: This was a pain in the ass to write but I'm really happy with how it turned out! let me know if ya'll have any questions about Gabriel or something

—————————————————————————

“Alright, let's see..”

You mumbled, standing within the slightly disorganized state that was your dorm room. Random bottles, papers, and discarded food wrappers littered the floor. A handful of trash was even decorating your desk at one point, though you had messily shoved it down to the ground to make room for your backpack. 

How quaint. 

You unzipped your bag, emptying the contents inside that were needed for your earlier class and lazily tossing them onto your bed. You’ll pick it up later, of course. Maybe. 

If you remember. 

“He told me he needed help with Math 331...6, I think?” you mused aloud, reaching to grab a stack of printed papers off of your bed. They were all practice questions, which you typically used to better understand what your tutoring hires needed. 

“And that’s statistical interference,” You nodded to yourself before pushing the papers into your backpack. “Should be easy enough.” You assured yourself before turning away to grab the other supplies you needed. 

Starting the second semester of your college career, you started holding tutoring sessions for students who didn’t get enough help from their professors. The pay was small, so you usually got a lot of different clients that needed you. You’re typically very busy, to say the least. It’s hard for you to say no to people who are struggling!

Which is your downfall.

You were currently preparing to go work with another client, who you have a... Interesting history with, to say the least.

The two of you were some of the top-achieving students on campus in academics. It was always a neck-and-neck battle between the two of you to claim the title of “university valedictorian”. Do you know how many students there are?? A title like that gets you so far! But, this wasn’t something you necessarily cared about too much. You were mostly Just trying to keep the A average to keep your scholarships. You didn’t want to get the same “gifted kid” title you got in high school.

Still, an admirable goal. 

At the beginning of this petty rivalry, your “enemy”, Gabriel, went out of his way to make petty jabs and put you down in any way possible in an attempt to stunt your growth as a student. This didn’t work out too well, because most insults went over your head. Eventually, something happened that caused Gabriel to keep quiet for a while. And eventually just shut himself away from you for a while. 

You haven’t heard from him up until recently, when he emailed you asking for tutoring help.

Though, you would see him in random places now and then. Whenever you were trying to get to your classes, whenever you went to the dining halls, whenever you got to your residence hall late at night…

The funny thing was, the two of you lived in completely different dorm halls, and he was across campus. He must’ve been visiting a friend; what an odd coincidence. 

You yawn softly for a moment, gently pushing your fingertips underneath your glasses for a moment to rub at the dark circles underneath your eyes. “Alright, let's hurry up before I pass out.” You remind yourself with a small laugh. You reach towards your bed one more time, grabbing hold of your bike helmet and your laptop. 

You lightly latch the helmet onto your head, listening for the soft “click” of the buckle. You then moved on to lightly push your laptop inside of your backpack, and then take your leave. 

You rode your bike down the sidewalk with a quickened pace, letting out soft huffs through your slightly opened mouth. While yes, you’ve been tutoring students for a while now, that doesn’t mean you’re riding your bike for longer than five minutes at a time to get to places.

Your eyes squint slightly as you braced yourself from the cold winds, huffing softly through your nose.

‘Why does his dorm have to be so damn far..’

You thought to yourself with an annoyed sigh. Oh well. Pay was pay after all, right? 

After an excruciating ten-minute bike ride (with about two breaks in between to catch your break.), you arrive at the honors residence hall. You sigh raggedly through your mouth, holding on to your bike handles with one hand gently as you hunch over. 

“Finally….” You sigh out, eye twitching slightly as sweat beaded down your face. 

You did not get out enough to be used to riding your bike for such long distances. After regaining yourself, you guided your bike over to the racks, loosely tying a lock around it before hurrying off inside. 

You stand inside the main lobby area for a moment, looking around with a curious, quiet look written on your face. You had been given a tour of the residence hall for honors students not too long ago, so you were somewhat familiar with the layout. Though you still weren’t used to how dead it was…

The floors were made of what seemed to be hard white tiles, and the walls were painted grey with the occasional bulletin board or colorful flyer. In front of you sat the receptionist's desk, a student worker sat up behind it gazing at the desktop with a bored expression written on her face. There wasn’t even a student lounge that could immediately be spotted. Maybe you made the right call deciding not to room here for your first year.

You quickly shook your head for a moment, sighing as you pulled out your phone from your jacket pocket. Your eyes grazed over the email for a second to figure out which floor and room Gabriel was situated on, the instructions being rather clear.

“Floor three, room 319..” You recited to yourself under your breath. You then let out a quiet huff, giving yourself an assured nod. You walk up to the receptionist’s desk, gently messing with your jacket sleeve. “Hi, uh... This is my first time here in a while; which staircase is the shorter way to 319?” you ask, holding your hand up slightly in a pointing motion.

The student worker moved to the side slightly to make eye contact with you, her shirt shuffling slightly to show off her name tag. “Jessica” was written on it. 

“31..” She took a moment, thinking about it before giving a slow sigh. “Oooh, the freaky guy’s room,” she spoke, crossing her arms. “You can take the north stairwell to get the 310s faster.” she motioned her thumb toward the entrance, her eyes moving back to her computer boredly. “Don’t know who’d want to deal with him willingly.”

 You stare at her for a moment, a slightly puzzled look plastering your face. Your eyes dart down to the left for a second. “Uhm..” you mumbled before giving a nod. “Okay, uh, thanks?” 

You gave a slightly dismissive hand wave before moving, your shoes stepping across the dingy tiles. As your hand loosely held on to the railing, you feel ever so slightly worried. What if this was some type of trap? A trap for what, you weren’t fully sure, but a trap nonetheless. You feel yourself thickly swallow before letting out a pent-up breath, and sighing.

 “Okay, calm down..” You whisper to yourself dismissively. “He’s not going to hurt you or something. He’s just another client!”

You said, waving your hands around in an attempt to re-establish yourself. It helped calm the nerves, you’d tell yourself. 

You soon let out a faint sigh once you finally reached the third floor, gently tucking your hair behind your ear. “Besides. He wouldn’t still be thinking that dumb rivalry, would he?” You ask yourself with a soft laugh, pushing the doors open. 

You browse the hallways of the 310s silently, stopping once you finally reach room 319. You took  a self-assuring breath, then out, reaching your hand out to give a faint,

Knock, Knock, Knock…

You pull your hand away, gazing up at the doors with a slightly tilted head as you wait for an answer. 

“Give me a minute!” Gabriel called out, his voice raspy and low. The sound of hurried footsteps against the floor could be heard alongside side thudding before there was silence. Then, the door was unlocked and pushed open. 

Gabriel stared up at you for a moment, his grey eyes glaring into yours as he hunched over slightly. “..You’re late.” He critiqued, standing up straight. He had a few inches over you, both height-wise and hair-wise. His figure was tall and lean like he could be blown away with the slightest exhale. His clothing had an academia aesthetic, yet it was very disheveled, his shirt only half tucked in and only three buttons done correctly. He also seemed to have missed a handful of belt loops.

 You clear your throat a bit, trying to cover up a laugh. “Sorry, the bike ride was a little tough on my lungs.” You give a sheepish laugh as you lightly scratch the back of your head. 

“...” His face slowly began to contort into a slight sneer as he gazed at you, eyes shifting as he analyzed you in a scrutinizing gaze. He then turned away, moving back into his dorm. “Get in,” he demanded, walking off. “We’re wasting enough time as it is.” He grumbled, his face a quiet red color. 

Damn, did you frustrate him that much?

What a wonderful way to start things out…

You let out a slight sigh, following him inside after a moment. The moment you walked inside, you were wafted with the smell of old coffee and an array of different-smelling candles. Your nose scrunched up slightly as you looked around, covering up your nose slightly. “Damn…” You whisper. The room was dimly lit, the curtains being securely shielded around the window and a lone desk lamp being the only thing keeping the room slightly illuminated. 

The room was in intense disarray, with papers and books being shoved underneath the bed, a varied amount of cups on different surfaces, and miscellaneous objects tossed around on the ground. 

You moved, pulling out your phone from your back pocket and turning on the flashlight to a dim level. You begin to move cautiously, keeping the light close to the ground. “S-so, uhm,” You start. “Where can I sit?” You ask, tilting your head to the side slightly as you glance upwards.

Gabriel took a seat on his bed, crossing his arms over one another. He gestured towards a spot beside himself, it being rather close to the lamp.

“Right, right..” You force out a laugh in an attempt to keep your mood light. Where was the conversation? Things felt so… quiet. You took a seat beside Gabriel, crossing your legs awkwardly. You lightly graze your hands against one another, trying to think of a way to start bringing up the studies. Maybe you could start with the test questions? Or ask what he's struggling with? …Or try and break the ice? You let out a slightly frustrated sigh, rubbing your eyebrows gently as you tried to think fast. It was never usually this hard to think up a starter.

You then felt the weight in the bed shuffle, quickly lifting your head. 

Gabriel was leaning over grabbing something from under his bread. It was a stapled stack of papers, pulling them close to himself as he began flipping through the pages silently. You pause for a moment, messing with your hands gently before clapping them together. “So!” You spoke up, placing the palms of your hands against your knees. “Is that like, your exam scores or something, or..?” You ask, pointing over at the packet of papers.

“Nope,” Gabriel responded, holding up the stack of papers. The first page had a name written on it.

Your name. 

“It’s yours.” They stated bluntly, passing over the small booklet towards you. 

You gaze down at the papers silently, lifting them after a moment. Your eyebrows knitted together slightly as your lips pursed together. “..this… is my last applied physics exam.” You explain, turning to look over at Gabriel. “What about it?” You ask him, tilting your head to the side partially. Your mind then jumped to a reasonable conclusion, giving a slow nod as your mouth formed a small “o”. “You must’ve wanted me to tutor you in this..” You then give a soft chortle, closing your eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t know. I have the wrong test questions printed out, so maybe we c-”

“I’m not ASKING to be tutored.” Gabriel hissed out as he came to a standing position, his cheeks beginning to grow coated with a rosy hue. “The reason why I called you here is for answers.” he pointed down at you, narrowing his eyes slightly. 

You jump back slightly at the sudden point, the position of your glasses changing. You lifted your hand and gently pressed your glasses back up against the bridge of your nose, looking up at Gabriel. “Answers?” You asked in a tone for more elaboration. 

“LOOK at yourself!” He motioned his free hand towards you before beginning to pace, pressing his hands aggressively against your cheeks. 

“Y-you’re the bottom of the barrel! You’re rarely on time to class, you never focus when you study, and you always do your homework the HOUR before it is due,” He continued to ramble on about your follies, voice starting to get higher as he did so. So that's why he invited you here; to yell at you. 

But, you didn’t mind it all that much.

The more Gabriel ranted on, the redder his became. You couldn’t tell why he was becoming so red, but for whatever reason, he looked… kind of cute while doing so. 

“There has to be a reason. You shouldn’t be so high up in the class ranks! Look at yourself!!” Gabriel gestured his hands toward you with widened eyes and furrowed eyebrows. “You’re a mess!” he yelled before storming towards you. 

He hunched his form over you, grasping his hands onto your shoulders. His hold was tight, and firm. His widened eyes stared into your yours like he was desperately trying to find any secret hidden within you. “What is your secret? WHAT are you hiding.” He hissed out.

Your eyes widened a bit due to the closeness, your pupils staring right back into his. Gabriel’s face radiated heat, a cloud of blush covering his face. His eyebrows were furrowed deeply against one another, and his eyes refused to evade yours. 

“Do not make me beg.” He warned you.

You stare at him for a second, eyes fluttering. Your eyes then shifted to the side, letting out a struggling word. “W-well,” You laugh awkwardly. “You can always copy off my work? O-or I could help you cheat or something, y’know!” you offered, feeling a faint heat rush to your cheeks for a second. 

“...” Gabriel’s right eye twitched for a second, staring at you with an unbridled fire. “..You…” 

He whispered, slowly slipping down to his knees. His hands slipped down to your arms, his grip loosening for a second before quickly holding on once more. You quickly stretch out your legs to either side, making sure your knees don’t poke into his ribs. “Careful!” you quickly tell him. 

“....I hate you, so much..” Gabriel whispered out, his grip tightening slightly as he furrowed his eyes shut. However, the blush remained. You were beginning to slowly learn that maybe that blush wasn’t out of frustration. 

Gabriel held his head low between your legs, trying to desperately keep his face out of your gaze. “..I hate you more than I can even feel pride.” He whispered out. “Seeing you makes my blood boil, your obnoxious little laugh is grating to my ears, your cluelessness vexes me to no end, Your face…” 

His grip tightened more so. 

“....your stupid face..” he hissed out. “How could the worse version of me be better than me... hell, threaten, me.” he spoke in a harshened. His hand slowly began to harden into a fist, lightly hitting the side of your leg. “And can’t get you out of my head…the hatred is consuming my every being. I need answers so I can finally be rid of you.” He spat.

You stare at him, eyes slightly wide as you listen to his words carefully. There was a brief moment of silence between the two of you, your eyes remaining on the back of his head while his eyes remained fixed on the ground, eyebrows furrowed. You then let out a small laugh, finally breaking the silence between you two. “Kinda sounds like you’re obsessed with me!” you spoke up, gently scratching at your cheek. It was a joke! …kinda. Slightly. You turn your head, arching your eyebrow. “Weird way to flirt, though..” You commented to yourself, causing Gabriel to visibly stiffen under you. 

Gabriel opened his hand once more, taking that chance to get a tight grip on your pants leg as he lifted his head. His eyes were wide, sweat rapidly beading down his face as he took heavy breaths in and out. His eyebrows had formed a small wrinkle over them due to how furrowed they were, and his lower lip was in a tight bite.

At this point, you found it to be a normal expression of his. However, there was something abnormal that caught your eye.

An odd bulge was slowly forming within the crotch of Gabriel’s pants. Initially, you just chalked it up to his odd sitting. However, you notice a faint wet spot slowly starting to form within the center. Was… Was Gabriel….

Was Gabriel getting turned on? 

“Is you idiocracy on purpose??” He questioned you, the left corner of his lips tugging downwards slightly. He seemingly began to shake under your graze, unable to evade you. He felt small. Something less compared to you. He hated this feeling more than anything, and it was swallowing him whole. 

Gabriel’s hands began to open up steadily, the palm of it tightly grasping onto the fat of your thigh. He steadily began pushing himself further up towards you, his breathing growing heavy. Desperate. “You must love torturing me..”

Heat began radiating off his face, bouncing off of yours faintly which caused you to lean back slightly. You could feel the area within the room begin to grow thicker. Your eyes began to dart around the room nervously, letting out a stilted laugh as your face began to blush slowly.

“I, You hesitate, struggling to find a decent strand of words that would satisfy both you and him. Your eyes dart down to look at him once more for a split second, your breathing hitching at the distance between the two of you.

You could smell the faint smell of coffee on Gabriel’s breath, his spindly fingers gripping your leg in a constricting hold. To you, you felt his boring gaze, his piercing eyes driving into yours. It was enough to make any person feel weak in their knees... If they were into someone like him, that is.

You hesitate for a moment, your own fingers retracting back against the palm of your hands. ‘...what the hell. Why not.’ You huff through your nose softly as you hold the reassuring thought, moving your hand. You gently press it against your hand against Gabriel’s hand, clearing your throat. “I don’t… like the idea of torturing people?” you awkwardly laugh out. 

Gabriel’s eye twitched slightly as he stared at you. 

Okay, maybe you didn’t answer that question correctly.

!!

“... I hate you.” Gabriel hissed out at you. If possible, his cheeks began to glow out a darker red color. If he were any more flustered, he’d probably start glowing. He pulled his hand away, grasping onto your wrist firmly. 

“I loathe you.” He grumbled before bringing your hand closer to his face, pressing his cheek against the palm of your hand. He paused for a brief second, seemingly taking in the moment. The feeling of your hand, the feeling of the soft cradle against his face…

He hated it. 

“I detest you.” He whispered, turning his head further towards your hand and pushing his nose into your hand. He sharply inhaled, taking in your scent for a moment before letting out a struggling sigh. His eyebrows knit together slowly as his eyes slowly closed. 

“I-I-” He grappled with trying to speak before quickly regaining himself. He refused to appear weak in front of you. He refused. He refused.

“I despise you.” He groaned out slowly. After that statement, he paused, keeping his mouth slightly open. You began to feel a wet touch against your hand, a slow, long lick 

Your eyes were blown wide open, staring at the scene before you. Your mouth parted open slightly, letting out shaky breaths in, and out, as your glasses began fogging up steadily. “H..” You move your free hand, reaching up and removing the–practically useless at this point–glasses. “Holy shit…” You whisper out, your face glowing a beat red hue. 

Gabriel’s mouth opened slightly wider, taking your pointer finger in for a brief moment before pulling it out with a silent huff. His eyes narrowed as he stared up at you, daggers being sent your way. “You taste like absinthe..” He grumbled moving himself further up. He loomed over you, reaching his hands out and loosely grabbing onto you. “It’d be best for you to leave.” He spoke, voice heavy as sweat dripped down from his face steadily. A small damp spot began forming against the tent of his pants, his knees lightly buckling against one another as he struggled to attempt to maintain balance. “I don’t want to do anything that would ruin both of our reputations.”

You stare for a moment, your mind struggling to keep up. Though your actions seemingly acted faster than your thoughts. Your head was hurriedly shaking back and forth, followed by you quickly muttering out. 

“No, no no..!!’ You lifted your hands up, resting them against his wrists lightly. “I-If I wanted this to stop I would have said something sooner, honest!” You insist. You were partially blinded due to your glasses being removed, so you had to lean forward slightly to make better eye contact. 

“...Okay..” Gabriel whispered slowly, looking to the side for a moment. He seemingly eased a bit at that, his eyebrows usually furrowed fixture starting to relax slowly. “..okay.”He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. 

You stared at him for a moment, your lips curling into a slight smile as you watched him relax slightly. It was nice seeing him not so huffy and puffy for once. “..So,” you started. “How do you want t-”

You let out a yelp of shock, falling back against the bed as Gabriel suddenly pushed you down. Your hands quickly scrambled around the bed for a second, grabbing onto your glasses and pushing them onto your face. 

Gabriel moved, slowly starting to climb over you. “There will be no kissing.” He stated firmly. “The taste of disgust is something a guy can’t get out.” he insulted, starting to undo his belt buckle steadily. 

“O-Okay!” You quickly nodded, your hands moving down to your pants to copy his movements. “Yeah, I can work with that.” You insisted, kicking off your shoes in tandem. Two soft thuds could be heard hitting the ground as you shimmy your pants down to your mid-thigh. “Uh..” You thought for a moment. “..I can cuddle you and stuff afterward, right?” You asked him a bit sheepishly. 

“...” Gabriel squinted at you for a moment, eyebrows furrowed. He then hurriedly began pushing down his boxers. “You’re such a fucking idiot.” He grumbled out with a soft huff.

Before you could reply to his statement, you were greeted face-to-face with his cock. Your breathing audibly staggered as your eyes widened, quickly adjusting your glasses. “O-oh wow..” You breathed out, moving your free hand to hold on to Gabriel’s leg loosely. 

Gabriel lightly planted his hand against your stomach before it steadily began to travel downwards, slipping into your underwear subtly. “Safeword is ‘exceptional.’ Use it.” He told you before lightly tugging out your shaft. 

You decided not to comment on how that was a weird safeword to have. 

“Uh-” You spoke up. “Do you have any lube? Or like, a condom? It hurts to go in, doesn’t it..? You ask him, tilting your head to the side slightly as you place your other hand against his right leg.

Gabriel looked to the side for a moment, weighing his options. He then lifted his hand, sharply breathing in before spitting on it. “Lube is a waste of money.” He told you bluntly, starting to massage the liquid against your length. 

You let out a shaky gasp, closing your eyes for a moment. “R-right..” You whisper, leaning your hips up slightly into his touch.  

Gabriel’s hand traced over the hilt of the member, his fingers holding the head for a moment before he began guiding it toward his entrance. He flinched slightly, firmly closing his eyes as he felt it touch his rim. He let out a shallow breath before he further pushed in the head, letting out a quiet moan as it entered him. “Fuck…” He breathed out, furrowing his eyebrows. 

He slowly began to sink, letting out a shaky moan as he grasped onto the ends of your shirt.

Your hands gripped Gabriel’s legs, fluttering your eyes shut once more as you were warmed. “Oh dear…” You whisper, shaking a bit,

Gabriel sharply inhaled, regaining himself once more. He widened his legs a bit in an A stance to resist straddling your lap, slowly beginning to bounce against you. 

Then.

The doorknob could be heard rattling. 

[darklinaforever]

The only point I’ve seen you argue so much abt the fact it was alright for daemyra to sleep together at Laena’s funeral is that Laena knew that Daemon liked Rhaenyra so it was fine but that’s honestly so disrespectful, if you were to take a survey and you asked women that are in a relationship like Daemon and Laena’s if they were alright with their partners sleeping with the woman they desire on the night of their funeral I bet 99% of them would say “No”. They could have chosen to wait a little bit but no they decided to disrespect Laena by sleeping together on the night of her funeral. Don’t say that it’s alright because they weren’t harming anyone and they were in their own corner because neither was Aemond until he was jumped and if it was revealed that D and R slept together that night then I bet Daemons daughters would feel even more angry towards the mistreatment of their mothers funeral. The fact you try to excuse their behaviour is disgusting “precious Rhaenyra can’t do anything wrong” mentality. If Aemond claiming Laena’s dragon the night of her funeral is disrespectful then so is Rhae and Daemon sleeping together.

Did you see the look on the kids faces when R and D got married?? They did not look happy at all, both sides have just lost someone and instead of their parents being respectful and having time to grieve they just marry each other days after the funerals (correct me on the timing there if I’m wrong but point still stands)

That was not the subject of the debate.

The original topic is to think that Daemyra sleeping together is more serious or tied with than Aemond going to claim Vaghar. Which, obviously, is not the case. Aemond leaving to take Vaghar is much more serious.

That's the debate. And once again, Aemond claiming Vaghar is more serious.

Then, I never claimed that Daemyra were saints, or blameless people. That's not the point.

What they did is not all pretty. But there is nothing fundamentally serious and horrible about it as some people, like you, try to claim sor hard.

Laena is dead and will not return. She has also been dead for probably several weeks. She literally knew that Daemyra loved each other and had made peace with it, in his own words. (So ​​possibly, she wouldn't really care about what they did, so the madness of saying that they lack respect for Laena makes me laugh softly. Stop imagining the worst of what Laena could think. She may be against it, just like not really giving a damn that they slept together at that time)

Daemyra, for their part, slept together, alone, in their corner, discreetly, and technically after the burial ceremony and "festivities" following the event.

The only thing really shocking about it is the moral code imposed by society formatting our way of thinking.

But in absolute terms, Daemyra sleeping together didn't do anything fondamently horrible. Let it be Laena, since she is dead. To the children, the Velaryons and the guests, since they know nothing about it. Not to mention the burial ceremony itself. It's not like Daemyra is having sex while we're burying Laena.

Daemyra sleeping together in episode 7 of the funeral is not a matter of state, I'm sorry.

Also... why make up a "what if" scenarios to try to make the real situation worse than it really is ? (Besides, admire how there is no need for "what if" in the case of Aemond to make his action serious or for the empire her. No, it is fundamentally serious and has caused harm. Quite simply)

The kids don't know anything about what happened, and probably don't know anything about sex now, especially the girls, and I doubt they would have been let to know such a thing, it would probably have been hidden from them if they had found out one way or another.

Frankly, the odds that the girls ended up on the beach in the middle of the night, exactly where Daemyra is, are ridiculously close to 0. Relax a little about the kids' involvement.

I'm sorry to say it, but remembering that in the real situation, Dameyra didn't hurt anyone is important in judging the overall canonical situation, in relation to the debate on Aemond.

And sorry, but I don't care about the kids' opinions on marriage.

Daemyra are adults who do what they want.

Especially since Rhaenyra was probably pregnant with Aegon III at that time, so a quick marriage was necessary.

And then they have already waited 10 years, they have the right to no longer want to wait.

As for time, Daemyra in the book waited a few months after Laena's death to get married, and nothing in the show is specified in terms of time.

Also generally speaking, a child will not be happy if their deceased parent is replaced by another, especially at a young age.

Then, finally, they are very happy that it happened, seeing as they all seem very happy together in episode 8.

It obviously didn't traumatize them.

So there’s no point in pretending that it deeply affected the children either.

Especially in comparison to Aemond's case with Vaghar.

What Daemyra did is not inherently pretty or very morally correct. But there's nothing inherently bad about it either. Is not black and white. And even less serious than the Aemond and Vaghar case. That's all I'm saying.

Also, rather interesting that you talk about the fact that I would think that I have “precious Rhaenyra can’t do anything wrong” mentality, as I talk about Daemyra together. Do you have any hatred particularly directed towards Rhaenyra anon ? Because once again, it takes two (or more) to fuck.

That's what I think and I'm not ashamed of it, whether it might shock some people or not, and whether you find it disgusting or not.

[shmowder]

Yup, it's me again. I'm right here. Entering the event. Like a boss.

Name: Yana Golubeva

Age: 24

Job: Housewife for bitchass husband

Npc.

__________

She originally lived in Paris with her parents under her birth name, Solène Lamoureux. That was until she was absolutely swept off her feet by a.. completely average man visiting for work. Not much is to be said here. He stayed, until he had to return home. Of course, she decided to go with him, where she got married to him in the Town at the ripe old age of 19, while he was about 22. She had them decided to change her legal name to match her surroundings, taking her husband's last name.

She finds the Town to be quite boring compared to her original home. She doesn't really consider the Town to be her real place in life. But, she's here for her husband and their love. Which is quickly fading the more he's away to the military.

Of course, she's had time to frolick around and made friends while he was away. But mainly confined to the house with her duties as a housewife. Although you can catch her around occasionally. ..usually with other women, having some interesting (lesbian) conversations.

She's more on the iffy side when it comes to believing in the Mistresses. She is a bit suspicious of rather magical happenings going on around the Steppe, but her belief isn't all that strong.

She respects authority. For the most part. She mainly adheres to the Saburovs, feeling pity for poor Alexander and his wife. She can, and she will passively aggressively defend their less than pleasing reign. After all, two people can only do so much. Think of how they must feel!

Of course, you probably guessed it, she's on Clara's side. And, maybe not surprisingly, she's going against Daniil. Her reasoning is very sound. She's going off of her gut, of course! Wait, what do you mean Clara's causing trouble? No no, that's silly. She's really a sweet girl. She is then appalled when the Saburovs practically disown her.

She only has one, eensy weensy, tiny little favor. Fetch her some bread. And some water, please? To be exact, ten loaves. Five bottles. She'll pay you well, of course! And then when you get back to her, all that you get paid with is.. one free hour of lodgings. Isn't that nice.

God dammit.

"TEN BREAD LOAFS??? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND WOMAN???" <- is what I would've said if I've ever met her ingame and accidentally started her quest bc she came into the room right as I was about to rummage through her cupboard

I'm sorry, but I am fully fighting your OC.

Not crackers??? BUT BREAD? WHOLE BREAD? IS SHE MAKING A CEASER SALAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING PLAGUE APOCALYPSE?

Getting one hour of free lodging is hilarious, if she was in P1, I see a lot of people complaining about her quest in the patho subreddit after they realise she only gives those requirements to The Bachelor and The Haruspex, while for The Changeling she is content with one bottle, the water inside being optional.

Omfg, wait no, what if she gives the bread to Clara? Like she still demands the bread, and in the Changeling route, you can visit her to get one loaf of bread for free! After she swindled Daniil and Artemy for 20 loafs total, keeping 18 to herself and setting herself up to survive the rest of the plague.

Ever since I read the "bitchass husband," I absolutely fell in love with her. Oh my god.

Her coming from paris for one (1) mediocre man only to engage in sweet, sweet lesbianism—and hey, no, you can't call it infidelity. It's just two women talking...having a conversation...with fingers and-

I like the detail of her being sympathetic to the Saburovs, especially since you didn't mention her having any kids so she might relate to them on that aspect.

Or, she might admire their love for each other? Because they've both been through great strife together, despite all of Katerina's reputation, addictions and failures as a mistress, not once does Alexander condem her. If anything he's the first to defend his wife, didn't he attempt to band morphine and other medical substances just to help her through her addiction? He never faulted her either, he viewed her shortcomings as his shortcomings and failures as a lacking leader.

Or how they're seen outside the cathedral at the end of p2, holding hands and swearing their devotion to one another even after Alexander lost his governor position, Katerina still stood proud by his side.

Maybe it's reminiscent of the romantic life Yana imagined herself to have with her husband, instead of the fading dull love she's been given.

Actually, Eva might attempt to sleep with her ngl.

I'd love to hear more about her gossipy stories, the fun of being a patho npc observing the three healers run around like headless chickens.

And fuck yeah, Clara deserves so much more love. Yana's house could be a place she stays at for one night after being kicked by the Saburovs, then she goes on her way.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Cucumber Day 5 Watching Con's Filmography

(I also listened to a short story he'd been in, scroll down a bit on my page and you'll find it. For everyone who watched this and needs a refresher only on Con, someone finally posted a compilation on youtube. If you haven't seen the series, you'll probably be lost. But I'm sure its a fun out of context watch)

Summary wrote after binging the entire series in one day.

Please, Please, Please go online and check every warning for this show. Not only for the graphic hate crime but see everything they warn about. Protect yourself. This review will discuss sexual topics, nudity, and substance abuse, and age gaps.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

So the show. I think it was fun, not the best tv show, and has some mixed messages, but a fun watch.

I grew up in a household/town where sex wasn't discussed. Especially queer shit. This show is very in-your-face about it and I admire the shit out of it. The friendships felt lived in. The experience of being a young queer 'hunted' by older queers was explored enough to not make Henry a complete hypocrite, sadly. But the focus was always more on Henry, even in the end, Henry still got off on the image of a 20 something during sex.

Fully noting, I did skip scenes. Some things were just a bit much for me, so I took the liberty to save peace and move on. Yet, the show does seem to balance heavy moments with joy and comedy. Hell, during a fucking funeral, some guys need to go check their dicks for hair. And you know what, I feel that if Lance were there, he wouldn't even be suprised.

I loved Freddy. Holy shit, at first, I was worried about how he'd be treated, but by the end, I was rooting for him. Obviously, the guy is just so used to being hunted for his body. This topic was brushed on with the teacher, and not really felt by the plot or the characters around him. I'm happy he felt like he could leave and just grow up as a person. I'm so happy they let the audience see a time jump where everyone turns up okay, and happy.

I'm not a queer man, but I know this shit can resonate. I've seen queer men online discuss these same points. Predatory age gaps, the pressure to be hot, aging, commitment, and communication issues in relationships...This isn't the best show for all that to be taken seriously but I'll leave that discussion to that community.

So Con's character, Cliff, was right about Henry in episode 1, and I fucking love when writers do this shit. "You always did that. Never had affairs, just obsessions." Cause in the context, yes, Henry never cheated. But he never has deep relationships; he has brief obsessions until things get too serious and he needs to move on. Hell, In episode 8, that's the conclusion Henry comes to himself. "Maybe one day I'll come to terms to it...being gay". Cause he wants intimacy but fears men and getting close to people. It's that closeness he struggles with.

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The things that bugged me about the series

The entire bit about the boys playing chicken for internet attention. Again, I know this is a thing. But now a days we legitimately have children doing this stuff unknowingly for people online. Or parents unknowingly showing their children on tik tok for millions of people. I know people who were groomed, and avoided it like crazy growing up as a kid online. I cringed every time this plot point was mentioned, feeling like a kid was a second away from getting hurt. It just felt a bit much to touch on for me in this type of show. Again, they tried to have their cake and eat it too by showing Harry get a slap on the wrist, but it just didn't feel like it justified the plot line being there in the first place. Seriously, what did it add to the story besides showing Henry that maybe he should go back home? He could have done so many other things. The only funny bit is when Cliff commented how fucking weird straight people are sometimes.

Cliff says in ep 1 he had a history of going after older men when he was young, and the age gap is boggeling. Again, this could mean he only had a crush on him. But if we're going to bring up how wierd it was, then why is this and the teacher sub plot where minors brought up the only time its mentioned. Like yeah, the teacher-student situation was fucked up. How about the 30 and 40-year-olds going after people in their early 20s. "I'm horrified to discover I have standards." Fun line Cliff, yeah. But they are literally minors. Age gaps and taking advantage of younger queers is a real issue in the queer community. There should 100% be a place to talk about it. But when every 'likable' character does it without issue, then it's still a problem. Hell, this is why Freddy's plot felt so out of left field in ep 8 with Cliff and him fucking before running off. I don't know why he did it, knowing that Cliff wanted him for his body? Or maybe he just wanted comfort after that argument and knew he'd get it by having sex? I genuinely want to know other interpretations. If Freddy felt like this, it would have been more satisfying for Henry to learn his lesson and not use 20-year-old Freddy as wank material for the next 6/7 years. Also, Freddy running away from Cliff with his pants down was just funny.

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Now, wash most of that out of your head!

The fun part that we have all been waiting for-

TALKING ABOUT CLIFF COSTELLO

(Yes, Cliff is kind of a douche early on. Enjoying eyeing Freddy and praising Henry for leaving his boyfriend for a 'young boy toy'. But, as the series goes, it dies down. Cliff, pre-episode 6 was a fun jackass. Post-ep 6 is one of the best characters in the show and the best friend you could ask for.)

I have seen most gifs online for this character. The soft outfits, smoking, suits, smiling. And fucking YET. The three scenes to me that make me love this character are-

"And obviously, I could take a statement. Have a briefcase with me, files and a pen. Because solicitors get searched entering a prison just like everyone else, but I'd still have a pen. Because a pen is all I'd need, really. I think it would take me a second to lean across and insert the pen through his throat. Right here. At the base. Straight through to the spine. (I could do that.) He'd bleed out in seconds. Dead. So... that's what I'll do. With your permission." I need Izzy to do this speech. Please god. In all your infinite wisdom. In this moment, I 100% felt that this lawyer would murder the murderer of his friend in sheer rage with a fucking pen.

Cliff pulling up(no crutches *curtsies with a smile*) to save Henry's ass from saying something stupid to the cops after their place gets ransacked. Stepping in and ensuring Freddy doesn't assault someone in front of cops.

"I look forward to the tribunal because the law is magnificent in this regard. It's not up to us to prove homophobia, it's up to you to prove homophobia does not exist. Best of luck. Thank you." AHHHHHHHH Smarmy, confident, smiling Con, I love it. Maybe the hottest thing Cliff does in this series, the outfit, the glaring before hand, the confidence, and AHHH.

His stand-out moments are when he's being a loyal, caring motherfucker. Trust me, after days of seeing a sad, depressed, miserable Con, seeing him thirsting after men was fun. Seeing him make dick jokes and act like an 'Elder Gay' that protected his own did heal my soul. But there was just a fucking genuine happiness he brought to the role.

I love that, even though he's a character Henry can rely on, Henry would never stay at his flat. (Obviously, cause then the plot wouldn't happen, but I like to think they know they'd both bring out the worst in each other).

Henry uses him for his knowledge of the law when doing cagey shit. It's great. Like getting his job back or doing the whole weird shit mentioned above for extra money. Seeing Cliff doing his best to stay semi-professional and not visibly judge the shit out of Henry for essentially being a soft core pimp is so fucking funny. Also, his 'that's our song' speech, where he goes on about how people steal underground culture, was fun.

The funeral made me respect Cliff, as he knew how to handle the situation. Keeping the situation safe enough in public so that Henry could have his own time to break down.

When Cliff didn't push, let Henry grieve on his own time, it was beautiful. Many of us would have immediately pushed that boundary. Trying to let ourselves feel better by stopping someone else from having destructive emotions. But Cliff knows better. Hell, when Henry is crying we see Cliff tearing up. Showing that Cliff knows to just step back tells us so much about how these two men care for each other.

Now a tiny praise corner about writing an Elder Gay lawyer character-

The sheer joy in Cliff knowing he could use the 'law' to protect queer people. Both for Lance and for getting Henry his job back. If Cliff is as old as Con, he'd have been a lawyer starting in the 1990's. He would have in practice during queer legalization post-thatcher in the UK. There's a good reason he seemed to be the happiest when they got home after getting his job back. He would have been taught Section 28 as a queer man.

'The fight for sexual equality however, was far from over. Section 28 of the Local Government Act 1988, introduced by the Conservative Government under Margaret Thatcher, banned local authorities from ‘promoting homosexuality’ or ‘pretended family relationships’, and prohibited councils from funding educational materials and projects perceived to 'promote homosexuality'. The legislation prevented the discussion of LGBT issues and stopped pupils getting the support they needed. Section 28 was repealed in 2003, and Prime Minister David Cameron apologised for the legislation in 2009.'

He went from learning about all that shit as a young lawyer(who fucking survived the AIDS crisis), plus worse, to using ANTI DISCRIMINATION LAW for LGBTQ people! (kinda) So yeah. There's a very good fucking reason why that scene made me pause and stim for the fucking life of me. He was the happiest one when they came home, belting and smiling! So much has changed over his life and AHHH-

(This just hurts knowing this defence is all still legal where I live. And rights are being stripped every day... But hope still exists...yatta yatta.)

The friendship between Cliff and Henry feel so lived in. Burrowed and nestled. Clearly, Cliff has his own sad law show going on in the background and Henry is where he can let his (glorious) hair down.

I think it's funny as shit that when Henry panics and tries to find someone in mind to keep him in the moment sometimes he accidentally imagines Cliff. In a 'I've heard way to much about my friends sex lives so I think I know what it looks like' kind of way.

I also think it's funny that in the two times we see him in time jump to the future (At the table toasting Freddy and in Bed) Cliff is still not entirely gray after 6-7 years (obviously, they didn't think/want to age him up or do makeup just for a gag). However, Icon behavior.

His outfits? I would wear most of them. He is gender and life envy. Again, I think Cliff could have been a character to show how happy some people are without relationships. We get this vibe from him with the whole 'you're not tied down' speech, and I wish that was a concept explored more on TV.

He's the least depressed lawyer character I have seen on TV. If I could be a Cliff Costello type, I would go into law.

I think a good mix of the best parts of Cliff Costello and all of Val Pearson is who I want to be as an 'elder'(again, I turn 21 in January). Confident, loyal, willing to stick up for others, funny as shit. Maybe has a more stable love life than them, and hopefully not any substance addictions, but god. They just have so much joy when you know these characters had to have lived through such shitty times for queer people.

At first, I did this just to explore Con's work. But I think this has all helped me feel some hope for the future. What people need is support and love and a place to exist.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Overall ratings

Cinematography: 7/10. Fun edits. Fun motifs. Loved the opening, and the sound effects to suggest certain things to the audience was fun.

Story: 6/10. Would be higher but some shit just got stuck in my craw. Again, the show just got better and better as it went and by the end I just felt satisfied. Would be an 8 ish if not for my issues mentioned above.

Characters besides Con: 7/10. Everyone plays really fun parts. Everyone is shitty in their own unique way, and for the most part, they get what they deserve. Even if they haven't really learned their lesson yet (Henry, I swear to god you are on a wire). Satisfying arcs for everyone besides Henry, but that's the point. I'm happy the Collective wheedled out into a more realistic ending where these people could go on and live happy lives and not coddle the man.

Con: 8/10. He is so much fun, and he is having so much fun. I wish he was in it longer, but in every scene, he is in, he eats it up. He goes from serious lawyer to best friend in a flash and it just makes me so happy. Cliff is up there with my favorite performances, some of his actions just kill the vibe a bit for me. Again. Any series where Con smiles is a win. Also, I love that he bodied a character who uses movement aids, and it just made me more excited to see what he'd do with Izzy for S2.

OVERALL: 6-7/10.

Not an easy recommend but could be a fun rewatch when I start losing somd hope about our community, while trying to see the real issues that exist to this day...or see more people online criticize queer people for wanting to have sex.

I would love to know your opinions about Cliff, thoughts about my thoughts, and more below! Have a Lovely day/night, everyone!

Next on the docket: Kisses in the Dark. An 8 ish hour audiobook on Spotify! Seems to be a supernatural horror Staring Con O'Neill and Rhiannon Clements(hopefully not a romance, since, with the person I googled, the age gap is 28 years. It's a bit different with voice acting...but now that I know? eh). I will be listening to that on Saturday (the 17th), and will have my thoughts on that here soon. I've been warned it was recorded during the pandemic at homes. So if you want to join in, prepare yourself for that.

As always, some of you lovelies who suggested/commented on my last few posts! Thank you so much!

@ivegotnonameidea

@treesofgreen

[tierra-paldeana]

i will be interested to see your expanse upon the semi feral upbringing and how it impacted rika in social as well as intellectual development. will you be referencing any studies on (fully) feral children or reported cases?

// (holy shit anon i am so sorry i typed like a maniac but I HAD TOO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS)

tbh, as much as i talk about my made-up clodsire ecology n stuff, this is a part of rika i'm due on writing on- rika's different from someone like my N for example, since N was raised mostly ferally until he was ~7 years old (although due to the nature of pokemon as well as the fact that it's a fictionalized account, it isn't as tragic as a real life feral child case... for one, this didn't impend his speech, though i have my HCs for why that's the case, but this isn't the blog to discuss it LOL), whereas my rika is more a mixture (hence why i keep using the word semi-feral to refer to her), since she was (poorly) raised by her human parents until she decided on her own to live mostly with the clodsire pond she frequented, rather than growing up with them from birth.

now, when i use semi feral it's because, while yes, she did grow up more socially in connection with wild pokemon, she never really stopped attending elementary school (even when skipping class here and there). she could've just gone and stop attending altogether, but what makes her semi-feral is that she had a taste of human interaction from the beginning and she, even unconsciously, still craved it in some form.

she lived in a contradiction of ''the people who should've cared for me don't and it makes me not want to establish strong human connections with others out of fear of getting hurt and abandoned'' and ''i still have a glimmer of hope within me that someone -human-, someday, will give a shit about me the same way these clodsire and wooper do'' (which is why i describe her childhood and teenage years as 'liminal', a threshold between rejecting and embracing the humane part of herself, which geeta helped her cross).

socially, she's always been about putting up fronts for convenience's or survival's sake (which is, in part, why she has a front during league tests - in that case, it's a conscious decision on her behalf, because she cares about her job and about the league and she wants people to take it seriously, and if she's her usual laid-back haha funni self, they won't).

she's always been cool and laid-back, don't get me wrong. matter of fact, during elementary, the equally rowdy kids in her class admired her, and she never suffered bullying during that time simply cause she was just 'so cool', showing off a very lone wolf 'i don't need anybody' persona while around people that even carried on to her teenage years. she enjoyed the positive attention, but she also only considered people acquaintances, and no one got truly close to her during that time. she was always a little popular because of her looks and the way she carried herself even as a kid and teen, though difference here is that she's much more open to letting people get close to her as an adult.

intellectually, she changed A LOT after she started attending naranjuva. a lot of shit she had to unlearn. a lot of therapy to go through. her more dramatic change definitely was her reckless attitude. as a kid and teen, she'd provoke wild pokemon to challenge them to races, she'd dodge slow pokemon that wanted to bite her, and when she wasn't doing that, she'd protect papá clod's pond from predators which, as efficient as she was, was equally dangerous. she had mad luck cause she never got a single hit landed on her until the espathra incident, and that made her overconfident and reckless and very cocky. (and this ties well with her reaction to knowing that the MC went to area zero - only someone who was equally reckless in the past and learned shit the hard way would have such a strong angry and concerned reaction, imo LOL)

for better or for worse, the trauma of being put in a near-death situation and getting a deep wound on herself for the first time coupled with the fact that geeta saved her REALLY made her consider things. not only the path her life was heading towards, but the fact that for the first time in her life, someone of her own ''species'' gave an actual fuck about her well-being and safety. geeta was the first human person she opened up to and was vulnerable with, which is a huge achievement. and upon following her to naranjuva and joining her, she also helped her unlearn a lot of rude behavior. 'feet off the table, use these serving utensils to eat and not your bare hands, don't throw crumbled up paper at others, don't start physical fights even if it is to protect me, etc etc'

her animalistic behavior is considerably toned down nowadays, and it's not something she shows to people she barely knows at all. but the more relaxed and close she is with someone, the more these little behaviors will start showing, as well as more neurodivergent behaviors of her own. things like growls of delight, mouthing the other person's arm, stimming (using a chewelry toy near them, letting herself show off raptor hands, kneading etc), moving in a more 'feral' way (be it on her fours, laying on the floor, making lil grunts and growls, etc)...

as for your last question, i've read up a lot of real cases on feral children cause i've always found the topic fascinating, and there's one case that really inspired me as a i was working on this - the case of marcos rodríguez pantoja, one of the few documented cases of feral children in spain. years before i made this blog, i watched the spanish film entrelobos, which was based on his case. there's very few similarities between his case and my rika's, but the fact that it happened in spain, the fact that both endured abuse in their childhoods (though in my rika's case it was more neglect than physical/verbal abuse, but hey, still abuse), and that they spent from late childhood to mid-late adolescence living in the wild...

yeah, idk, even when it's not a 1:1 at ALL, it was slightly in the back of my mind as i started to give my rika's backstory shape.

[bellaxgiornata]

13, 18, 20! You don’t have to answer all three at once though ❤️

Ahh thank you for the asks!! 💕 I appreciate the distraction! It's at least still got me thinking about fics! Though I might answer 18 in another post since I saw it asked by someone else! And also, these are long-winded replies. Which is why my answers are below the cut because this one got long real fast 😅 Wouldn't be me if I didn't over-explain though!

13. What are some must-read fanfics in your fandoms? Why do you admire these, and how have they impacted your works?

So there are a TON of fics that I would highly recommend from so many incredible authors in the Daredevil fandom that it would take me a bit to assemble a list right now. I honestly need to make a new Matt Murdock fic rec list and sit my ass down and catch up on reading for it. I know there's a ton of newer Matt Murdock fic authors and I'm dying to read y'all's stuff, too. Like I have a massive TBR list. Obviously anything y'all see me reblog I always highly recommend, though sadly I haven't read many fics this whole year because I kid you not, I'm almost always writing and editing in my free time. Which is how I constantly have so much to update every week.

Most of the fics I've read are over on AO3 as well, but the main Daredevil story that comes to mind when I think of one having an impact on my writing is The Red Thread by @pastafossa. I know, I know. It's like classic Daredevil literature at this point and everyone in the fandom has most likely read it or heard of it, but in all honesty, without that fic I'd never have started writing for Matt at all (and sadly I actually am SUPER behind on it because, as I've said, I haven't read much this year 😅). I remember first stumbling on it last fall and being like HOLY SHIT THAT WORD COUNT! And then being SO CONFUSED why it was written in second person as I read it, but everything was so goddamn good--the plot, the characters, the relationships--that honestly I stopped noticing the POV. It took me MONTHS later to discover that was what a Reader insert fic was (because it truly is such a beautiful blend of OC/Reader that I could only ever hope to aspire to). That was the first Reader fic I read and I didn't realize it until I stumbled further into the Matt/Reader section way later on AO3. But honestly, once I caught up on that fic, I was desperate for more Matt Murdock content and was just like, what the hell, I'll try my hand at writing a Daredevil story, too. Thus Life Worth Living came about and every Matt series I've written after that. So TRT honestly had a massive impact on me ever stepping foot into this fandom, especially with the way Pasta writes Matt (and smut, if we're being honest cause 🔥).

20. What’s your favorite work you’ve ever written?

Y'all are probably expecting me to say FFTD or ATY but it's actually Life Worth Living. Admittedly I cringe a bit at the writing in the beginning chapters compared to what I write now because I started it last November, though it has progressively matured a little more as I continued on writing it (and I stopped overusing ellipses which I am desperately trying to edit through as I re-post that fic over on tumblr). But that was the first fic I'd written where I really had come up with so much of my own plot and such a fleshed out OC. It was the first fic I really got excited about writing, and it was the first fic that really drew me back into writing fanfiction after a couple of years away from it. It's also the fic that helped me fall in love with Matt even more as I explored his character when I first started writing him, and it is the first fic where I'd ever written smut. I also spent so much time crafting so many plot twists along with so many little bread crumb clues of things that were coming down the line in that story. Like, I spent a lot of time and put a lot of love into that series--more than I had for anything else before. Though sadly when I re-entered fanfic after a few years away, I learned that OCs are not as popular as they once were, so that fic has been set aside for a bit while I've been working on all these Reader insert fics. Though someday I'd like to come back to it. I've had the next two chapters sitting as rough drafts since April now...

[button-mash]

What I played last week #2

I figured I'd better update this lest it be another near-decade long hiatus until the next time. I didn't actually get to play a whole lot of games last week as real life got in the way, but I still managed to tuck into a few games here and there, and actually managed to finish off a childhood favourite, so that's where I'll start. Soleil / Crusader of Centy [Mega Drive]

Over the past few years this game has become quite a bit more well known among retro circles, but I've always considered it as true of a hidden gem as you can get. Usually when people talk about 'hidden gems' they almost always seem to be these games that literally everybody remotely into the hobby knows, but maybe just weren't the banner releases for a system. This is a rare example of a game that for the longest time honestly felt like nobody ever knew of it when I talked about it. I'd only discovered it myself because one of my best mates growing up had it on the Mega Drive when we were kids (shout out Meadey) and I've literally never seen anybody else ever own it, or even spoken to someone else outside of him that's played it - even the cart I own today is actually his cart which he very kindly sold to me years back knowing it would go to a good home.

I'm surprised there wasn't more of a fuss made of this game - not just because it's very good, but also because there were just surprisingly hardly any action RPGs on the Mega Drive, and the console was always crying for something to compete with Zelda. The broad format of the game is the same - it's ostensibly a top-down action RPG where you're moving around on an overworld map into different areas and defeating various dungeons and solving puzzles along the way. The main hook of the game is that fairly early on you lose the ability to talk to humans but gain the ability to talk to animals, and as you go on in your adventure more and more animals join your cause - they essentially become abilities you equip, so the Cheetah helps you run faster, a Flying Squirrel allows your sword to bounce off walls, the Butterfly allows you to control your sword in the air etc - basically how animals make your sword react in real life is how they tend to act in the game. It's quite a neat idea and opens up the dungeons and bosses for some cool puzzle potential to think about who you have at your disposal, and you can equip 2 at a time to come up with different ability synergies and stuff.

The game can feel really uneven in parts and often doesn't lean enough into it's puzzle potential though - some of the puzzles or dungeon areas are excellent and make you use your head a little bit, and then others inexplicably just won't have any puzzles or combat at all, or the puzzles will be so basic they just border on pointless

like in the above pic, I wonder where those blocks have to go... It's almost like they were placeholder puzzles they never actually went back and added in properly. Still, even with a lack of difficulty, the game does an admirable job of constantly changing up what you're doing, making the areas feel visually and mechanically distinct, and it's pretty well paced where it never really feels like a slog. There was actually a point during my playthrough where my save corrupted, meaning I had to start way back from where I was. That'd usually be an automatic playthrough killer for me, but it's all so straightforward once you know where you're going, that it was fine just catching myself up. The biggest peril in terms if difficulty in the game was actually just trying to constantly remember there is no checkpointing or autosaves in games like this, and forgetting to save my game as I went. Can be brutal sometimes if you lose track

The game undoubtedly has some flaws - the combat is pretty bad - your sword swings in this slow arc with questionable hit detection, and enemies don't get knocked back, meaning you can sometimes get caught in a situation where enemies are just sitting on top of you draining your health (plus the noise when you take damage is unbeliveably annoying). The bosses also feel like a bit of a missed oppourtunity - they're both incredibly imaginative and varied mechanically, but almost all of them are trivially easy, making them feel redundant and robbing them of a chance to feel truly memorable. However, the game just feels like it's more than the sum of it's parts. The art style is colourful with crisp sprites, and it has some genuinely impressive parrallax and transparency effects that make areas of the game look beautiful. Each area has a tonne of visual variety that really helps give the different areas a lot of personality, bolstered by the fantastic music that really adds to each area and making it feel distinct and offering it real identity.

What cracks me up is the game has a potentially interesting premise, essentially humanising the monsters and questioning whether they are even bad. There is a point early on where you get turned into a monster and you discover that they are just a scared, misunderstood family, etc…but the game is all over the place with it tonally. You're constantly being shown themes of unity and understanding and empathy, but you ultimately continue to kill monsters the entire game, who will all attack you without hesitation. Even your companions you win over and join forced with along the way are all animals and not monsters, it makes almost zero sense. I remember being really confused by the message as a kid and assumed it was going over my head - as it turns out, it's just an incoherent mess. I did wonder if it's perhaps partly a translation issue from it's origins as 'Ragnacënty', but I suspect it's just genuinely not very good. A missed oppourtunity for sure, but ultimately forgiveable Weirdly for me, this game always occupied a spot in my memory as a beloved childhood game I would borrow constantly from Meadey and has completed numerous times in my childhood. Yet when playing it through last weel, I soon realised that what I'd remembered as being the last boss was only actually about halfway through the game and I had zero memory of anything afterwards, even though I could remember everything else really clearly. That section of the game does kinda function as the end of an initial story arc... so now I am wondering if all these years I was just cheerfully turning the console off all these years thinking Id finished it, not realising there was an entire other half of the game to see. Idiot Anyway, good game that not that many people know about

I also briefly played a handful of games this week - namely the SNES port of Prince of Persia (which I had no idea was essentially it's own distinct, extended version of the original game), and the first couple of stages of The Legend of the Mystical Ninja also on the SNES. Mentioning them here for posterities sake, but I think I'll play some more of Mystical Ninja before writing more about it - the series is a complete blind spot for me despite me loving the SNES, and the Mystical Ninja (or Ganbare Goemon) series being fairly beloved. Prince of Persia [Super Nintendo]

As I was writing that last paragraph I was also going to save Prince of Persia for next week too, but deep down I don't think I am going to finish it to be honest. As mentioned, I had no idea that this was essentially an extended, remixed version of the original game, with new graphics and new stages. It looks absolutely fantastic, and I am a sucker for those rotoscoped animations that the game made famous, and we also saw in things like Blackthorne, Another World and of course Flashback - which is one of my favourite games of all time

(just an excuse to post a Flashback gif tbh)

....Actually maybe I'll catch this up next week after all because tumblr just deleted half this post when I tried to insert a gif - for some reason ctrl+z seems to revert you to a much much earlier saved draft rather than just undoing the last thing you did, and I cannot be fucked to write everything all out again because it already happened twice on this post and I reflexively keep hitting ctrl+z and I am going to lose my fucking mind. The general gist was that the SNES version is a longer and expanded port of the original (which I didn't realise going in), and ultimately probably outstays it's welcome because of it. It looks very beautiful - it's visually a huge upgrade on the original and it's visual variety fosters surprisingly potent atmosphere for a 16-bit game, but that extended length means that the game just starts to drag after a while. Also, from a mechanical perspective, I think that the deliberate, almost rigid control and animation based movement worked well in something like Flashback because the game is never demanding too much of you mechanically at once for the most part.

In Prince of Persia however, is at odds with both itself and you - it's encouraging you to go fast, hurry, experiment and take risks, but also pretty much requires that you go slowly and play methodically and risk averse, lest you die over and over and need to restart. You do get used to the controls for the most part, but the sword fighting in particular becomes more and more prevalant and it's a clunky mess that feels too random to be fun, even though its probably not random at all. It starts off as a fun challenge, but quickly devolves into an (often frustrating) chore. Considering that the punishment for dying is to start the entire level again (with the over-arching game timer still ticking), it quickly begins to become more of a test in patience than skill, and that increased length turns challenge into a chore - especially when deaths often feel unfair or a result of the controls rather than the consequence of a genuine mistake or a poorly calculated risk Prince of Persia is one of those games that has undeniable cultural impact and far-reaching influence, but was also something I'd never really properly played beyond maybe messing around on the first couple of levels over the years. I actually really wish I had played the original now - the SNES version has 20 levels and I got to level 15 before I really started to feel the fatigue of the difficulty and design. The original was only 12 levels I believe - which I think would likely be a much more paletable and well paced game. Actually, most of all I just wish I'd stop reflexively hitting ctrl+z every time I made a mistake - it's actually very fitting thinking about it, you can consider this the more poorly conceived, less well refined version of the blog update, with the original paragraphs I'd written being the more tightly designed and more enjoyable versions. There you go, I've somehow thematically bought it back around, and closed my own loop, so I am quitting while I am ahead, behind, roughly where I was in the first place. No more gifs because god forbid I have to write this piece of shit blog again

(Pic of me having to rewrite half the bloody entry)