#i really don't have the space to talk about musicals and it upsets me

[ghostfest]

Void State/Trance State Method [ADHD/No Focus Friendly.]

I've used quite a few methods to get into the void, and this is one of my favorites that I use. Usually people tell people "just affirm!" and "just relax!" but for me I've never really been able to lie still and go affirming for hours aimlessly because I can't focus my mind and I will get very angry/upset and think I "fail" if I can't focus while most other methods tell me to think absolutely no thoughts. It's just something entirely not possible for me and likely others, so I wrote this to hopefully help someone in a similar situation out. I believe this is something that @trynafindbarbiee2 / @trynafindbarbiee has talked about in the feeling of recently, so I hope this helps people who have recently read their trance state post and seen the video. :) If you have more questions, feel free to message me or inbox me.

1. You do not need white noise, theta waves or whatever you've been told you "need" or anything to enter. You don't even need pure silence. If you're like me you've probably used things that you don't even enjoy and aren't relaxed by just because other bloggers made you feel like you needed it to go into the void. What you're going to do is put on something you like. If you personally find a subliminal relaxing, then use it. Specifically I use music or subliminals. If you have a song that you enjoy a lot and makes you happy then use it. It doesn't need affirmations or binural beats or anything like that. Just put on something you like very much. It doesn't even have to be a calm relaxing song as long as it makes you happy.

2. Think. Yes, I know how this sounds stupid. Think. That's it. No. I'm not telling you to think about something specific. I'm telling you to DO NOT TRY TO NOT THINK. If you try to prevent yourself from thinking you're going to be unable to stop thinking and unable to calm your mind. You're just going to end up more upset that you can't stop thinking. Plus it's actually very important that you're thinking and not focused on the void or entering. Think thoughts about things you enjoy, something that'll distract yourself and spiral into other thoughts you'll also think about. Daydream. Visualize. Think. About anything, ANYTHING you want.

3. By now at some point after this your mind will begin to calm down and get more "spacey" and distracted. Sometimes I am already in the void at this point. However, if you're not yet then you can use your mind's fuzziness and the feeling of being zoned out to enter the void. Things should be much quieter in your head compared to when you first started and it should feel slower to think. 4. Since this happens so fast usually I already end up in the void state or near it at this point. If you aren't yet, then now you can start visualizing and daydreaming about either the void state and the feeling of being in the void state (I visualize the idea of feeling nothing or being in water or just being in space or the wind all of these work best for me). If you can't do this visualize your life AFTER the void. Visualize things such as your desired appearance or desired bedroom and visualize things you're going to do once you leave the void. IN SUMMARY: 1. Put on music or subliminals. It's important that it's something YOU like and relaxes YOU. Not what someone tells you to listen to. 2. Think about anything you want. Just think and daydream about anything. 3. Once your mind is calmer and you think slower, vaunt and rampage about the void and affirm or visualize your life AFTER the void or visualize the feeling of the void (Yes, daydreaming is the exact same as visualizing so if that helps then do that).

[silent-sanctum]

You know in honor of Valentines Day, how about I make a list of Valentines headcanons about Jotaro Kujo:

♡ When someone asks what flag color he is, one would most likely say red because of his rude, standoffish, and aloof personality (mostly seen in his teenage years)

♡ However, if you think about it aside from the rough exterior, he's actually a subtle green flag. Let me explain-

♡ This is one of those instances where you have to look past his awkward loner-esque personality and observe how he treats people that don't constantly piss him off.

♡ There's a reason why some of us compare his "heart of gold" to the Amazon Forest that is Jonathan:

♡ Jotaro respects boundaries. As someone who's space often gets violated by unwanted fangirls, he's very aware of the importance of personal space. He won't force you to do stuff you don't want to.

♡ Jotaro is open-minded. He likes to explore his surroundings a lot and isn't exactly rigid with preferences or routines. He's willing to accompany you to wherever you want to go and would try out stuff you'd like for him to try out. After all, he did surprise Joseph when he said India was a neat place to be in.

♡ Jotaro is an active listener. Unlike Jonathan, he can't really offer you solid words of comfort. It's not his expertise. But to make up for that, he'd lend a ear to whatever you want to say to him. Sure, he won't talk much but at times, when you really need someone, he'd be there for you- help you out by giving advice on how to not get hurt again, and help provide you logical reasoning that validates your feelings.

♡ Jotaro is loyal and caring. Yes, he's all "mean and grouchy" no one's denying that, but behind that tough skin is someone that loves his friends and family. He values their security above all else and is willing to put his life on the line just to keep them safe from danger. He also isn't one to condone cheating as evident by his statement about Joseph's infidelity.

♡ Jotaro's love languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time. He likes company but he just can't express it well. At times, he'd spend some of his free time just being by your side, lowkey glad seeing you happy with him around. He can tell when you're upset just by reading your body language or can tell what you need from piecing together recollections of your words. As a result, he'd find ways to make you happy using the methods he can do. He'd buy stuff you like, offer you dinner dates at a restaurant that serves your current cravings, put on your favorite movie or music etc.

♡ Jotaro isn't as possessive as you'd expect him to be. He's very aware he's shit at being an entertaining guy, so he isn't in the position of being all high and mighty of wanting you to just be with him. If anything, he likes seeing you enjoy your day hanging out with friends... but he'd really appreciate it when you'd often have him in mind and you invite him to hang with your friend group. Whether he accepts or declines, he's happy you considered inviting him. But if he sees someone blatantly trying to make moves on you, then he has to intervene to remind everyone that you're taken.

❣️ When Valentines arrives... ❣️

♡ Honestly, don't expect him to show up in public being head-over-heels with some grand display of affection because he's not Jonathan nor Joseph.

♡ Instead, you'd find him waiting for you to finish your tasks and either tells you ahead of time where they're going to spend the day or asks you where do you want to go.

♡ Either way, you engage in usual banter and conversation, just how you both liked it over the months, and continue to do so even when dining or spending time in said place.

♡ You both don't show much PDA as an average couple would, and you didnt mind it one bit. But there are times where Jotaro wouldn't mind holding your hand in public. He'd slowly reach your hand, hold it, and place your interlocked hands in his pocket. And you find that genuinely endearing.

♡ Depending on his impromptu plans, he'd either bring you out in a quiet area of a park or ask you if you'd like to hang in his place or yours. And when reaching somewhere private, it's only there that you find out he actually bought you a bouquet and a gift containing something you wanted.

♡ With the way he approached you all bashful under his hat throughout the entirety of the day, you're reminded why you fell in love with him despite the awful first impressions.

♡ To end it off, you both finish the day either by cuddling to sleep or having an intimate session before going to sleep.

[thecameronchronicles]

For A Friend

TW: angst about body "issues". Language. Soft smut. Soft JJ. Praising. 

-Pogue Reader x JJ Maybank

-Body Positivity Fic

SUMMARY: Your crush on JJ reaches is finally reciprocated...but it takes a bit of convincing to believe it is reality. 

WORD COUNT: 3500

*ORIGINAL CONCEPT*

For a Friend

It was everything about him. His charisma. His passion. His loyalty. Even his stubbornness and hot-headed reactions for protecting those he cared for. And yet it was all you were to him. Even though you longed for him to look at you the way he had to Kiara. Finding an excuse to touch you or make you laugh. And maybe just once, look at you with the same lust that you saw cast in any random touron he hadn't been accepted or even rejected by. 

And tonight...You would. 

"Okay. I've got everything." He explained, taking the open space in the log beside you as the fire remained ablaze. 

"I'm okay..." You confessed, your mind counting up the calories to the snack offered as he glared. 

"I can't be friends with you anymore if you don't make a s'more right this second." He pushed the items towards you as you couldn't deny the tradition. Every pogue bonfire since you could remember had only truly begun when the marshmallows were melted well into the chocolate and taken against one's lips. But much like your hesitance, many things were off about tonight. Including the absence of the other pogues. Yet, you favored this time alone with JJ. No matter how you could get it. Even if it would only ever remain platonic. 

"That's my girl." His simplistic comment made your heart swell as you shied down to your sweet. 

"Cheers." He teased before you cocked your jaw in nervousness. After only a moment, you were summoned from your fantasy lengthening this moment as he pulled this vision to reality. 

"You've got uh...here..." Using his thumb, he pulled the chocolate from your bottom lip and took it in his smirk, unaware or unphased by how intimate this moment had been as well as his affect on you.

"I think yours tastes better than mine..." He suddenly took a bite of yours from the other side, making you chuckle at his method of consumption. 

"Definitely...So much better..." He explained with a mouth full. But suddenly he moved closer. His knee pressing against yours as your eyes lifted from beneath your lashes. 

"Do you want a drink?" 

"No, I'm okay..." As he reached to the cooler, you couldn't help but look at the direction of The Chateau. It was rare for there to be darkness and silence within the small space, but it was how it existed now. 

"Where is everyone?" You turned to face him, his hand suddenly on your cheek as his lips to yours had surprised you enough to make you still. You hadn't retracted or responded in anything else but silence. 

"I'm sorry...I've just always really wanted to do that."

"What?" The disgust on your face surprised him. Nervously, he ran his hand through his hair. 

"I didn't know if you...if we...Being Kiara's friend I didn't want to make it weird but...I had to know..." He kicked the dirt. 

"And now I do...so...now I need more than a drink..." He pulled a rolled blunt from his pocket as you quickly searched for a fix for the fleeting moment. 

This was what you'd wanted for years. Since Kiara has introduced you to him at the summer bonfire half a decade ago. When he spent the night talking about music and surfing and you fell in love with how he saw the world, or better yet, how he made his own within it. 

"I was..." Your words were quick as they were as ceased by your own ambition. 

"Why?"

"Why?" His eyes narrowed. 

"Why me?" 

"Why...why not you? You're passionate, caring, warm..." He paused. "Beautiful..." 

"You said it last..."

"What?"

"Nothing...I'm just gonna go home..."

"What did I say?" He was on his feet as you were on yours. The way he spoke your name having rooted you into the estate that has become your second home. 

"It's stupid..."

"I rarely see you upset, so clearly it's not...what is it?"

"I'm just gonna go..." But as you tried, he blocked your exit. Although you could have easily maneuvered around him, you didn't want to. A larger part of you wanted him to know. 

"I've watched you with Tourons and Kie...you always say that they're hot and...and you said it last..." His eyes narrowed. 

"See I told you, it's stupid..." 

"No...I just...I'm confused...I'm trying to understand."

"So am I..." To this, he softened in hearing the panic of fear behind your breath. 

"What's wrong with wanting to make you feel beautiful?" He questioned while pulling a hair behind your ear. But this romantic gesture was rejected as you took a step back. 

"Why now? Is it because you're bored? Because I'm...I'm here?" Tears brimmed in your eyes as you were well aware you risked being left behind in his frustration. But the only thing you wanted more than to be with JJ was to be with him when he meant it. Not for a night. Not for a moment. 

"You think I wanted to kiss you because I was drunk? Or...desperate?" 

"You've never...until tonight...I just want to understand..."

"Because I couldn't take it anymore! That goddamn rule about no pogues macking and yet everyone has...And the one girl I wanted to..."

"Was Kie..."

"Why can't you understand that it was you."

"Because it's never me, JJ. I'm not the girl guys look to stand next to them rush and post photos of online okay? I know that. That's fine. But if this is some joke or curiosity-" 

He set both hands on your cheeks. 

"The only thing I'm curious about was your reaction because I wasn't sure how you felt about me. We've been friends for a long time and you're right, I've been with a lot of girls...but I want it to mean something with you..." 

You saw the truth behind his eyes. In the same moments he spoke of his father or the other pogues, you found him like this now. Only his focus was on you. 

"But it's you. My focus. My interest. Whatever other interesting word Pope would come up with...It's you." 

"Then can you try it again?" He nodded. A soft kiss pulled you against him. His hands were gentle to your cheeks, brushing away the tears as evidence of your former pain as he walked you towards the steps of The Chateau. You chuckled on the missteps before you were successfully inside. 

"Would you let me make you feel beautiful?" 

You could only answer with a nod. You'd expected him to be direct and vulgar, you, nervous to chuckle, but found only excitement to replace this as he led you to the back bedroom. 

"Wait...Can you go back outside?" 

"You want me to...okay..." 

"Just for a second..." You nodded before waiting on the steps. 

"Shit!" He cursed as he tripped moving in shock steps from the kitchen to the hallway. Cabinets and cupboards slamming behind his wake until only silence remained. The sudden presence of hands over your eyes returned him to you. 

"Okay...Step up..." He guided before leading you to the bedroom once again. But this time, as the door opened, you found it illuminated with candles. In true JJ fashion, he used turned over beer cans as holders for the tealights, but it made his effort that much more beautiful. 

"JJ..."

"I want you to be comfortable and-" You turned to him. 

"I'm not as experienced as what you're used to..." You interrupted him in nervousness as he nodded. 

"That's one of the more selfish reasons I like you..." He moved closer, a finger below your chin as he brought you to his lips. 

"All the things I get to teach you..." Your cheeks flushed and your thighs tightened at his words before he interlaced your fingers. 

"Do you know the reason I said beautiful last?" He asked as he pulled the sweater from your arms as he stood behind you, kissing your shoulders as you shook your head in rejection. 

"Because...I saw you. Passionate. Caring. Smart. Maybe even more than Pope." You chuckled. "Creative. Stubborn. All of it made you beautiful. Because I've gotten to know you. Those other comments, those other girls...that's all I knew were their looks..." You looked away for a moment as he collected you back to face him. 

"But sweetheart, I noticed that too...Your eyes...your smile..." He kissed your lips softly. "And if I have to even begin to describe your curves...I'm gonna need to see 'em..." He began to pull at your tank top as you paused. 

"I want you to know how beautiful you are...even if it takes all night..." He kissed you again, making you forget all of the reservations that had consumed you until now. 

"Lay down for me..." You surrendered to him. Even if the smallest of voices remained to contradict your growing confidence. 

"If there's anything you don't want, just stop me..." He pulled his hair from over his torso as your eyes glue to his muscles. He was bronzed and rigid. A dream in every way. And you basked in knowing you got to witness it. 

"But you better tell me now...because I don't think I'll be able to stop once I know how you feel...God, I've thought about it so long..." He swallowed hard as his fingers traced your thighs. 

"Can I...kiss you?" You nodded as he lowered over you. Your body tensed in the anticipation. But instead, he used the kiss of his breath along your skin. Beginning at your mouth, he casted a smirked exhale down your jaw and at your chest before lifting up your shirt. Your fingers quickly wrapped around his wrists. 

"I want to see all of you. You're so beautiful...please let me, sweetheart..." You hesitated before closing your eyes as he helped you out of your shirt. But once he noticed your distant glance, he brought you back to face him. 

"Look at me..." He was sweet, soft kisses continuing down your stomach. 

"Can I see all of you?" He inquired as he teased the cup of your bra around the entire perimeter before you slowly nodded. Lifting up to your elbows, he corrected the attempt you'd made to undress. 

"I'll do it..." He explained as you nodded. He was effortless before exposing your breasts. He scoffed. 

"Shit..." He took one within his hand before focusing on you. 

"I just want to make you feel good for me..." Your lips parted as he began to roll your nipple between his fingers. A new fire developed between your thighs as your gasp informed him of your favorable reaction. 

"Does that feel good?" 

You nodded. 

"I'm gonna do both..." You bit your bottom lip as he had done just that. Both breasts given equal attention. But he needed more, quickly, as you began to motion beneath him. And as you relished in his touch, his mouth surprised your skin with his wrap. 

"JJ-"

"Mmm..." He moaned, repeating this affection to both sensitive mounds. 

"I asked earlier if I could kiss you...I didn't get to make it clear where..." He kissed down your stomach again. The insecurity you once had to the vulnerability was now replaced with the confidence he left behind. 

"Nobody's ever-" You confessed as he rose from between your thighs. 

"Oh sweetheart...I love knowing I get to be the first..." He prepared you for him. Removing your panties, you swallowed hard to now be completely bare for him. Sending your nervousness, he stood between your legs. Undressing. Completely. 

"Now it's fair." He smirked as your eyes adored his physique. Every perfect inch that you were now able to appreciate without hiding your interest from afar. 

"Where was I?" He asked himself as he positioned both your legs over his shoulders. 

"Nobody's here...so be as loud as you want..." 

"I..I don't want to annoy you.." He scoffed. 

"It tells me I'm doing a good job...it's nothing to be embarrassed about... especially with me." He kissed down your thighs in slow succession to savor how you trembled beneath him. As he inches closer and closer to your sex, he smirked as you shifted in pure unbridled uncertainty yet trust. 

"If anything hurts, tell me..." You nodded. He began with a teasing kiss to your clit as you smirked. But this fell to pleasure as he took that sensitive bundle of nerves between his teeth, sucking you into his tongue. When he watched how your fingers fisted the sheets in approval, he began to flick his tongue in the hold made with his new clench until only that suction remained. 

He worked himself against you as you allowed the breathless moans to validate his endeavors. But he craved more. He needed more. So he led your hand to his hair. You took this instruction and began to take hold of his locks instead as he nodded. 

"JJ..." He withdrew to the sound of his name. 

"I want you to try to do something for me..." 

You waited anxiously for his request. At first, your mind became plagued with illicit positions and actions. All things you'd be willing to try, but need guidance for. But instead, he would surprise you with his selfless submission. 

'I want you to come on my face...Do you think you can do that for me?" You hesitated. 

"I don't care how long it takes...you taste..." He licked his lips, "I could do this all night...I just want to make you come...to make you feel beautiful...to make you feel good..." You nodded softly. 

"Then take your time, princess." He moved between your legs again. Only now, he was a man on a mission. Kindness now secondary, he dove into your lower lips. 

"Please...let me hear you.." He breathed into you as your body betrayed any attempt to remain silent. 

"Mmm..." He moaned between your legs as your eyes witnessed his motions. He was ravaging your most intimate of nerves and you struggled to do anything but reserve your tremors. When he sensed this, he pulled a hand to your breast until the kneading left you shameless. 

"JJ...I'm..."

He only nodded before rising just high enough to insert one finger into you. The surprise made you gasp and a quick lift of his eyes validated that this was from pleasure. But with the second came the arch of your back as the pressure along with the suction became too much. 

"JJ!" Your body rushed against him in ecstasy as he held you down with an arm across your waist.

"I thought you were beautiful before...something special about when you come for me..."  He licked his lips, kissing your thigh in his exit as he stood between your legs. 

"I don't want to sound selfish, sweetheart...but tasting you and heading you moan like that...Any change you can take a bit more?"

You nodded quickly. "Please...." He smirked wide enough to deepen his dimples. 

"Good...I'll start slow..." He aligned himself with your sex before pausing. Tearing through the drawer, he breathed a sigh of victory to the lone condom in wait for him. Even though your thoughts casted to the others he'd used before you, his voice returned you to this moment exclusively with him. 

"Fuck..." He exhaled once he'd set himself inside of you. 

"Is it-" you nodded, clenching around him in the foreign fulfillment you'd been denied until now. 

"If it's too much..."

"Please...don't stop..." You pleaded as he began in soft motions. These eased thrusts began to grow in desperation as he brought you deeper against him. 

A blur of skin became of the two of you as you shifted the sheets beneath you. Perspiration made the glide easier as he built to an ungodly  pace into you. His moans vibrated at the gluttonous suck made at your breast as his hands were feverish for any skin he could adorn. 

"Shit!" He cursed behind his building release. "How do you feel so good?! Goddamnit!" He chortled as you rolled your hips as he held them down with his own. 

"Unless you want me to come right now you need to sit still..."

"I want you to..." 

"Yeah?" His hand came softly to your cheek once pressing the softest peck to your lips. 

"Can you say it for me?" 

"Co-come for me, JJ...please..." He kissed you again, this time with the tease of his tongue at your bottom lip, before he returned to his focus. But in the process of coming back to that curvature of pleasure, a second release began within you. Your skin chilled. Your abdomen tightened. That echo of what was about to come has been broadcast in your expression. 

"Come with me...please, sweetheart...I know you can do it..." You nodded, feeling him favor your motions against this one. Every wave of your hips met graciously with his own until the pleas silenced to sharp inhales and a final utterance of your name from his lips. 

"Fuck!" He validated as you smirked. Kissing you one final time, he collapsed beside you. 

"Come here..." He set you at his chest. 

"Why haven't we done that sooner?" He asked as you cradled tighter into him. With a wide smirk, you shrugged. 

"Get some rest, sweetheart. I'm making you the best waffle from the toaster in the morning. Maybe two." You smirked as he kissed your head.

But somewhere in the night as bliss had been a means to stay asleep as long as you had, you heard familiar voices pull you to your soles. Using rj sheets as you were left naked, you heard Kiara, your best friend, speak to JJ. 

"How was it?" 

"I'm not telling you any details...If you wanted to know, you find out for yourself...actually..." You could hear Kiara hit him as he fell off kilter. 

"Did it work?" You stilled. 

"Come on JJ, I don't need details. I just wanted to give her a bit of a confidence boost...so..."

Your heart caved into itself. 

"Was it bad?"

"It shouldn't have happened, not like that-" You didn't care to wait for another word. Instead, you dressed in whatever clothes you could find behind your tears. Stealing your keys from the floor as they'd fallen during the undressing, you barreled passed them as both realized you were awake. 

"Shit..." Kiara uttered as JJ chased after you. 

"At least now I know why...a pity fuck?! That's even worse!"

"No!"

"So Kiara didn't ask you to do it? And you'll just do anything for her, right?"

"It's...fuck, there's more than that, okay-"

"No there isn't! You used the feelings I had for you because you knew you'd...you'd get laid...and I believed it was more…'

"I meant it. The way I went about it was wrong, I admit it-' you tried to leave again but he took hold of your hand. 

"But I don't regret it. I HAVE wanted to do that for a long time. And it wasn't until Kie told me that I knew you liked me for sure. But I didn't know...I have never been more nervous for anything!"

"Because you didn't want Kie mad at you?"

"Because I didn't want to lose you! But I couldn't stand being around you for another second without knowing! It just happened to be the same time. Two birds with one stone. And yes, I used it as an excuse to know. But now I do and you can't deny it now!" He took your face between his hands. 

"Not when my sheets smell like you and I know exactly how you sound when you come. Not that I know to bend my fingers just right and rub slowly to make your toes curl. But more than that...how you talk in your sleep. How you smirk after you have sex....how your heart feels against mine when you're at peace."

Your eye flashed to Kiara as she emerged with worried eyes. 

"How can I believe you?"

"If you think I only did it to please her? I'll take you back in there right now and make sure she can hear it this time. Maybe record it. Maybe broadcast it-'

"JJ-"

"Whatever it takes to prove it. This wasn't a one time thing. It was a risk. And I'm scared as hell that if you leave...you can't leave! I...I love you..." Your eyes returned to him. 

"No games. No lies. No fucking ulterior motives. The truth. I'm risking it all and-" You silenced him with a kiss. A tender passion that ended the eventful night on the highest and sweetest note as you were wrapped in the arms of the man you loved. 

"I love you too..." You confessed as he smirked. 

"Good. I still intend to make her hear you next time, though..." He winked as you blushed, feeling as if no moment could ever be greater than this. Unaware how he was just getting started. 

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @drewspisces @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4tangerine @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @jjmaybanksangel @phildunphyisadilf @mashdan0916 @pankhoeforlife @pankowperfection

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[yangsharperavery]

so here's the thing...

i've written about this topic a few times during and after season 1, but the carmy and sydney of it all remains a highly contested and discussed topic. even after season two.

what i find so truly fascinating is that chris storer and joanna calo and everyone involved with the creation of this lovely, well constructed show absolutely could have created the duo they work SO hard in the press to convince viewership they intended.

if they really wanted sydney to be a psuedo/standin sibling for the one carmy lost, or the brainy, determined business partner that comes in to orient a sinking ship...

there are a couple hundred ways they could have managed that and made it abundantly clear that's what the angle was within the dynamic between carmy and sydney.

instead... we have all this very overtly (and covertly) romantic, potent and simmering subtext regarding the nature of their relationship and what they mean to one another, their effect on each other and their seemingly endless potential.

in a whole host of ways there are a number of scenes that literally don't make sense without the lens of the undercurrent of feelings or reverence or romance or something that exists between them beyond the intended business partners/co-creatives.

there are ways to narratively parallel sydney as a mirror and equal and peer of carmy's void of all ambiguity and romantic tension and any energy of awkward longing or confusion.

but that's not actually what we got. i've been consuming television media for most of my life. i've watched hundreds of shows; shipping has never been a requirement for my viewership or interest.

which leads me to believe that there's either a bunch of deflection/dismissing happening for a very distinct reason. or there's been a bait and switch planned from the beginning.

you would literally have to remove 75% of the nuance within carmy and sydney's interactions for the stictly platonic claims to make sense and effectively land.

you'd have to go through and remove various staging, shot selection, editing, music choices and sometimes entire scenes to accurately convey original or "intended" messaging.

to completely eradicate the liminal space of subjectivity between them.

why is carmy talking about tina looking like sydney with that distinct expression on his face when they all wear that apron?

why are they being awkward at the lockers like it isn't customary for coworkers and business partners to go out after work for dinner or drinks or whatever (literally evidenced by tina this season)?

why is sydney mentioning jealousy at all when it comes to carmy's relationship? especially when it makes perfect sense for her to be upset with him for not pulling his weight?

why is sydney entering into carmy's life for the first time and deciding to stay, the second time, something that literally brings him out of his panic? when it could have been him cooking, his drawings, his staff, his gf. ANYTHING else.

they effectively made sydney an emotional, mental and energetic tether for him in that scene. for what reason? business partner ones or????

why do they bicker like an old married couple? is that customary for creative collaborators and coworkers?

why superimpose sydney, parallel her doing something the audience saw carmy do last season, and then show her going about her night while he's by contrast, with his girlfriend? why show a random closeup of a meaningful tattoo on her shoulder? no thematic significance beyond the grind of the restaurant world and career ambition?

why is there an obvious awkward breaking of energy after a highly vulnerable and tender moment between the two of them under the table? why does sydney noticeably fidget/adjust herself/her apron when he walks away to get her gift?

there's actually a hundred instances of these questions you could ask over the course of the two seasons when it comes to them.

so the reasoning behind the shipper pushback is baffling and a bit laughable.

some people bring into question, perhaps this is just the natural chemistry that jaw and ayo bring to their characters bc they're obviously good friends.

which... sure. i guess. but even that begs the question, you wrote and shot and constructed a story a specific way and then your two actors sort of bled on and expanded the material in a very obvious way you didn't expect?

cool, cool. so again... you're surprised that could lead to viewership seeing something deeper than mere platonic business partners?

that's shocking and surprising to you?

no way.

especially considering storer and calo have commented on how close jaw and ayo are and that their dynamic is different than the one she has with ebon and lionel. which is hilarious bc she adores ebon and has been out of the country traveling with lionel (and some other people from odd future.)

so clearly they all enjoy each other, are friends and get along.

but why even make that note of demarcation regarding jaw and ayo's dynamic and STILL be like "oh yeah, we didn't write or mean for them to be a romance " you're shocked that people SEE something given your storytelling and their obvious connection that even you, the creators themselves remarked on?!?!

there's a picture from the golden globes of ayo holding jaw's mom's hands during his acceptance speech. like they're really besties.

but i'm sorry, they can't bestie themselves into what carmy and sydney clearly exemplify on our screens without an entire framework at their disposal. because they're talented and professionals.

so if the writing is saying something, then it's intentional.

maybe the intention was to have their characters skirt and skate on the periphery of each other.

maybe it was for things to be awkward and weird and undefined or hectic and toxic.

maybe they weren't ever gonna have some relegated idea of a shipper's happily ever after.

people have feelings that go unexpressed and undefined. people fall in love and then don't end up together.

maybe the slow burn fizzles out, maybe it explodes or implodes, maybe one of them self denies, maybe they both do.

maybe it will or won’t be addressed directly or covertly. that's actually not a requirement for its existence.

to act like there isn't something true and obvious and visceral that exists between these characters is frankly like asking those who watch your show not to use their eyes and their brains.

impossible.

[goodluckclove]

On Experimentation in Writing, and In Defense of Weak Words

So there's a lot of writing advice I don't like. I don't care if it's from a wildly successful career author or some random person on the internet - if anyone makes a blanket statement on how you have to craft a story, I automatically lose some degree of respect for them as an artist. The fact that so many people online refuse to acknowledge the use of I statements and find community by sharing their individual experience is tiring and annoying to me.

One frequent trend is replacing weak words with "stronger" ones. Don't say "sad"! They insist. If you say sad it's bad writing! Instead of that you should describe the slight drooping tremor of their brow! The arch of a single tear! Doleful is a synonym for sad, say that instead!

This is where I hope people realize that I am not someone who thinks no one should be angry ever. I struggle with anger issues, and this is the type of "advice" that makes me really fucking angry. But I'll try to approach this sensibly.

Prose has rhythm - that's how I see it. It's like music, and because of that there's a lot more freedom to create a successful piece if you can compose with intent. Whenever I see someone list acceptable synonyms for a word they don't like, I see someone claiming they have the list of acceptable instruments in Jazz. Like, what the hell are you talking about? Stop it.

Also, synonyms of a weak word that sound more literary also might mean something different. If you replace "sad" with any fancier synonym you might actually create absurdities in your writing that you don't intend to do. "Downcast" is a synonym for sad that relates specifically to people. "Regretful" is another one that means specifically showing regret. "Traumatic" is considered a synonym for "Sad", you understand why this isn't always the right fit.

I think it can be a good thing to explore the connection between a character's physicality and the description of their emotions, but a person can do a lot with that. People don't express emotions in very similar ways. When you see me at my most distraught, it will probably look different than how you feel. You can depict a character with any sort of physicality and decide that's what they do when they're unhappy and that can support a sense of full-realization in the reader.

Or the reverse. The scene is tragic, heartbreaking - insurmountable trauma and devastation. And in the internal narration it is said that the protagonist is sad. JUST sad? That can really say a lot about their mental state.

I am pro-synonym. I think every word evokes a feeling. I think when you are in a relationship with someone and they're visibly upset and you ask them how they're feeling and they say "I'm fine" - that's a weak word that suddenly has a lot of language.

I think when you have gone through a terrible situation that could've potentially ruined the rest of your life, and one day someone asks how you feel and you say "happy", that is a weak word that might cause you to break down weeping right then and there.

If you deny yourself any words or descriptors that doesn't sound like Fancy Real Book, you are actively amputating your language for no reason. If you only use Fancy Real Book descriptors without actually seeing if the words are truer to the atmosphere you're trying to create, you run the risk of an inauthentic finished product.

You are actually allowed to play with language and description as much as you want, or at least until you find a dynamic that suits your individual craft. If you are a newer writer I think this is something you should make an actual effort to pursue and see if it sparks something in you. For the love of god, do not limit the scope of your language in writing to what Opinionated People On the Internet say.

I say this again that a lot of the people in online spaces are the next generation of literature. And for that instinct to experiment and play to fade out just because it's 2024 and anyone with wifi now has the tangential authority of an art critic is so genuinely abhorrent to me that if I start talking about it to someone for long enough I can feel myself get a crazed look in my eyes. I need the new writers here to seriously make a pledge to develop a sense of artistic intuition as thoroughly as possible, even in the face of people who are desperate to feel artistically validated online in a way that requires very little effort.

It is hard, I won't lie. It takes a lot of work. It took me probably over a decade to get to the point where I feel like I can write with intent in virtually every medium. But I swear to god it's worth it.

[bonesandthebees]

Hey bee, thanks so much for offering a space to talk about the situation— even if you don’t answer to this it’s nice to be able to talk somewhere.

One thing I’ve noticed that’s been devastating to watch happen is how so many tell others that they should “just get over it” or put them down for being “so parasocial” and act like they’re less-than for caring and being upset. It’s heartbreaking to see happen and I just hope that people know and can hear that it is entirely valid to be upset about this. For a lot of people his content was an escape.

A lot of us started watching him during a global pandemic— something that was literally traumatizing— and used his content as an escape. A lot of us have been here for literal years, and even if we haven’t there’s so much more that we are losing that isn’t just getting to follow some white guy. We are losing an entire community we had built around him and his band, a safe space many of us created full of art and fiction and memories. We watched his content, interacted with the community, cared about his characters and stories, listened to his music, created works we are proud of that were inspired by him, related him to our favorite things, surrounded ourselves with reminder of things relating to him because it brought comfort. We had friends we made through this community, friends made closer through relating ourselves to his dynamics, art, animations and fics that have impacted us and changed us that we might never see again, hopes for him and his band.

This isn’t about us or him but I still think we are allowed to grieve. None of us were expecting any of this, none of us were expecting to lose such a massive safe space and comfort. It feels pathetic to care so much especially when there’s so many putting others down for caring, but it’s ok to grieve the end of something that formed a huge part of our lives for a lot of us. It’s ok to be sad that we thought this would last.

Yeah I really don't like seeing people telling others to just 'get over it' or calling them dramatic for having intense reactions to this news. you articulated it perfectly. we've built a thriving community for years around his content. that's what causing me the most grief out of anything with this situation—the loss of the community. I've met pretty much all of my closest friends through dsmp and my fic writing. I've been so inspired by his characters and stories for years now. it really fucking hurts to lose that. it's okay for those in the community to be upset by this. these feelings are valid.

[avatar4life]

Credits : @crimson-cherry really love the art and the way they portray the ninjas is how I imagine them in this story. You all should follow them

Reader was playing once again in her room, alone again, as the ninjas were training with master Wu. She sat in front of the TV screen as she was shooting the space ships but got bored after a while 'man, I wish Lloyd was here to play' she thought as she paused the game and noticed that it was almost time to go to bed. She stood up and walked towards the outside door to see the ninjas chatting and teasing each other., noticing how close Lloyd got with the red ninja and his sister, almost acting like siblings, she felt a pang in her chest as she turned around and immediately walked towards her bedroom, which lucky was individual from the boys room. She walked past Pixal who looked at her worried and confused by her mood "Reader, are you ok? Your heartbeat seems elevated and your facial expressions shows you're upset. Would you like to talk about what's bothering you?" She asked gently as she looked at reader. Reader turned her head towards Pixal and glared at her as hard as a 10ys could do "yes I'm fine. Now leave me alone!" She said as she arrived to her bedroom and slammed the door shut. She knew that it was unfair getting mad at Pixal but she was blinded by her anger towards Lloyd and the betrayal she felt at how he distanced himself from her but got closer to the ninjas, especially the red one who she doesn't even bother learning the name of and his sister. 'he's my brother. My twin, he should be playing with me instead of them. I wish everything could go back to how it used to be, without them. Just me and Lloyd, against the world' she thought as she got to her wardrobe and put on her pajamas and went to sleep, though it was hard as her mind was filled with the memories of her and Lloyd before the ninjas and their uncle Wu came along.

The next morning, she woke up groggily as she fixed her hair, putting two hair clips in it to keep it away from her eyes. She put on her school uniform and skirt before grabbing her backpack and going out of her bedroom, ready to go to school. As she walked she almost fell as Lloyd ran past her to go and eat breakfast with the ninjas, messing up her hair a little bit, and in doing so it bothered her as she fixed it up again. As she finally reached the living room she grabbed her school lunch and breakfast as the ninjas were chatting at the table.

"man I'm so happy I don't have to go to school anymore, I get to stay here without hearing the teachers all day" Lloyd said as he was eating his breakfast, sitting in between Kai and Nya.

Reader having heard his little comment slyly mocked him annoyed before walking out of the monastery and going down the monastery's stair of the mountain before reaching the bus stop and waiting for her bus. Once it arrived she got in and gave the bus driver her ticket before going to sit down, glaring at the monastery as the bus started again and put on her headphones to let her mind daydream under the music spell.

On the top of the mountain, on the monastery's rooftop, a spirit was watching the bus leave the bus stop under the monastery with a neutral look '...close, but not yet' it thought as it disappeared in the air, going unnoticed.

---------------------------------------------------

As Reader arrived at school she couldn't help but noticed the subtle way everyone was staring at her, making her feel more alone as she usually had Lloyd with her. As she reached her classroom the teacher gave her a pitiful look 'poor child' she thought as she started to teach the class.

Reader was looking out of the window, not caring to listen to the teacher as she looked at the people outside. As she let her mind wander, she didn't notice a certain blonde boy looking at her interested from the other side of the classroom 'mh' he thought.

As soon class ended, she got out of there, ignoring Brad as she felt really annoyed by everyone around her, forgetting her notebook on her desk.

The boy picked up the notebook and looked at it before putting his gaze towards the classroom's door, where reader left in a hurry and put it in his backpack and went out of the classroom too.

The same thing continued until lunch time, Reader didn't listen to the teachers and glared at anyone who looked at her or tried to talk to her.

As lunch arrives she was standing by the cafeteria and noticed how everyone was sitting at least with someone, making her feel alone again as she didn't knew who to sit with and instead opted for an empty classroom aand started to eat her lunch as she went to get her notebook to draw a bit to keep herself busy, but, as soon as she didn't feel the notebook in her backpack she opened it wide and let all the stuff fall as she shook it in panic "no no no, where is it?!" She said worried "looking for this?" A voice said as she turned around and noticed a boy by the door, and then noticed the notebook in his hands. She got up and took it from him in a mix of relief and suspicion "yes! Oh, wait did you do anything in it?" She said as she flips the pages but doesn't notice anything out of the ordinary. She sighed and went back to eat her food by her desk, thinking the boy will leave after giving her notebook back, but , instead he sat next to her and noticed how little food she brought with hwe and decided to divide his own sandwich ans guve the bigger part to her, waiting for her to accept the offer. She looked at him confused but grabs the sandwich and eats it "thanks...you can leave now" she said while munching her food, avoiding looking at him, thinking he will leave like everyone else. "No" he said to her as he went to eat his own part of the sandwich, surprising her "no?" She said as she looked at him, confused and a bit annoyed at his words "I said no, I don't want to" he said to her as he also looked at her.

She blinked as she looked at him for a while, perplexed by his words "why?" She asked "cause I want to stay here, with you" he said to her with a small smile "...you do know I'm the daughter of Garmadon right? Lord Garmadon? The guy who wanted to destroy all Ninjago?" She said even more confused at him as she turned her chair towards him, eyebrows frowned "I know you don't worry. But still I want to stay here" he said as he took another bite of his sandwich "..why?" She asked annoyed, confused and a bit flustered "cause I want to be your friend" he said to her. She looked at him with wide eyes at what she heard "why? How do you know if I'm not as evil as my father?" She said looking at him suspicious, squinting her eyes at him as no one at school wanted to be friends with her, either because of the pranks she used to do with Lloyd or because of her father's reputation "are you evil?" He asked her with curiosity "..I don't know" she said looking away, feeling conflicted by her role in all that's been happening "that's enough for me then" the boy said to her as he shrugged his shoulders and finished eating his food. She instead looked at her unfinished piece of sandwich and then at him, still suspicious and confused"but what if in the future I want to be evil too?" She said looking at him with conflict in her eyes, thinking her will look at her differently due to the question she proposed. Instead though, he looked at her reassuringly "then we'll be evil together, me and you against the world" he lift up his hand for a dab. She looked at him surprised by his words, not thinking he will still want to be friends even if she wanted to be evil like her father was. She scoffed and smirked at him, feeling a sense of relief in her heart and dabbed his hand "alright then" she said to him before leaning against the empty classroom's wall "what's your name?" She asked and he smiled at her "Strymyr" he said to her "we're partners in crime now Strymyr" she said with a smirk "wouldn't have thought any less from you Reader" he said as they continued to chat until school ended.

---------------------------------------------------

As she arrived to the monastery she was feeling lighter as she walked past the living room, where the ninjas were playing at their video games and towards her bedroom.

She closed the door and layed down on her bed, her mind replaying all the events of today before she smiles widely 'i have a friend' she thought before holding her pillow tightly and falling asleep for a nap.

The spirit was watching her from the end of her bed with a small smile 'getting closer but not yet'

"good nap little lighthouse' it thought

This is all for now, the nickname 'little lighthouse' is because I kept listening to the song Lighthouse by Nina Kraljic and it fitted to the whole 'pure light' plot.

This drawing is mine though 🤭 pls don't hate on it🙏 I know it's nothing compared to Crimson's art but I just wanted to add my touch on the fic too

[kurogane2512]

hi, I saw you were back in the request game!! would it be possible to get a request for a smutty HSR Himeko x f!reader with naked cuddling/comforting/pampering? (sorry if that's too vague) I just know she's really nice to curl up with... thanks so much!!! love your work!

Of course, anon! Himeko will always have a special place in my heart no matter the game <3 *cue Dr Strange 2's I have loved you in every universe meme*

(18+) CONTENT MDNI

Type: Smut and Fluff (boob play, fingering, kissing, praising, very slight angst, established relationship, comfort sex)

Character: HSR Himeko X Fem!reader

The Astral Express soared through the starry space after departing from Jarilo-VI, the planet of Eternal Freeze. Everyone was sound asleep in their rooms after an eventful journey at Belobog while you decided to meet the navigator, Himeko— who was also your lover but the rest of the crew hadn't been told yet.

You found out she was still awake, drinking her coffee as usual and reading a book beside the window. She happily allowed you in to sit beside her and offered you some coffee which you refused, making her curious since she knew you liked the coffee she made.

"Um, Himeko....I wanted to talk to you."

Himeko smiled and put her cup down then held your hand and guided you towards her bed, you both sitting down beside each other as she patiently waited for you to speak. She slowly extended her hand towards your face and cupped it, making you look at her and she was taken by surprise by the look on your face.

"I sensed it earlier but I didn't think it was so serious....What's making you so upset, sweetheart?"

A tear rolled down your cheek which she tenderly wiped away with her thumb then wrapped her arms around your head and pulled you towards her chest, hugging you lightly. More tears flowed down your eyes as you held onto her, silently weeping, her hand continuously caressing your head.

"I feel....v-very sad about what happened at Belobog, with Cocolia...She didn't deserve that, I wanted to save her but...."

Your breath hitched as you struggled to form words, telling your true feelings to your beloved.

"I understand why you feel that way, my dear. But you have to know some things can't be helped...."

You nodded and held her tighter, your face buried in her neck.

"Also, I miss everyone...the people at Belobog. And....I don't want to do the mission by Kafka, I have a bad feeling about her...."

Himeko's eyes widened for a moment, she wanted to ask some questions but held back and instead cupped your face to pull up and gaze at you lovingly before leaning in and connecting your lips together in a gentle kiss. You quickly melted into the kiss as if you were craving for it, without any hesitation.

Before long, your clothes were discarded as you laid on the bed together holding each other closely. Your face was nestled between her boobs, fondling with one hand while sucking the other. She caressed your head and softly moaned, her angelic voice was music to your ears and gave you comfort.

"Mhm~ Y-Y/n....aahn~ You are being...q-quite intense!~"

"Sorry, I was just feeling....a bit down."

Himeko chuckled and kissed your forehead, "I know, I'm not going to deny you. In fact, let me care for you instead~"

"It's okay, I can ju—"

"Sshh~ Leave it all to me, my darling~"

You nodded with a blush and followed her as she pulled you closer, your face burying in her boobs while she slid her hand towards your abdomen. You immediately flinched feeling her fingers tease your clit and tightened your hold around her. Her rosy scent clouded your senses, making you feel at ease as she slowly rubbed her fingers over your folds.

"Just relax, Y/n. You worked very hard back there and your insecurities are natural but I want you to know that you don't have to force yourself through them alone...."

Himeko's angelic voice rang in your ears now and soon enough, her fingers parted your folds. All of your body was wrapped in her and all your senses were engulfed by her, you felt heavenly at this moment. You gently kneaded her boobs while her digits fingered you, your voice moaning out at the sensations. She was everything you needed at this moment, all your worries were washed away and replaced by her.

"H-Himeko......mhm~ I-I'm close...."

Her fingers slowly thrusted in and out of you, hitting your most sensitive spots while her lips planted several kisses on your face.

"Let it out, my love. Entrust yourself to me~"

You had completely given up at this point, you suddenly hugged her even more and your walls clenched onto her fingers. She thrusted and scissored a few more times before you finally released, moaning into her neck as you held her. She smiled and held your face to place kisses all over— your cheeks, eyelids, nose, forehead— every place she adored.

"I'm always here for you, my sweetheart. Don't think you are ever alone on this journey, share your burdens with me, alright?"

Tears welled up in your eyes at her deep words then you nodded with a smile, "Thank you, Himeko. I love you..."

"Hehe, I love you too~"

[crxssjae]

Hate it, Love Him

Summary:

Despite portraying disapproval of the neck tattoo throughout the months, Seth refuses to discontinue his affection for Cody.

a/n: This is my first time writing a codyseth/sethcody fic that is pretty short and sweet. Btw it's all thanks to @harmshake due to her comment that made me want to write them.

You can read the other fics from my WWE masterlist here.

"Hate it, Love Him" is posted on AO3 (here) and Wattpad (here)

Word Count: 850

Warning(s): none

__________

__________

Seth will have no choice but to face the music forever against the toughest opponent: the American Nightmare tattoo.

Numerous questions he inquired, wanting an answer while doing his damn best not to hurt Cody's feelings out of spite. This grinds Seth's gears daily— it's useless. Hurt, furious, upset? Unsure how the reaction would be.

To his surprise, Cody disregarded it. Understandable for being ecstatic over a tattoo to show off friends and colleagues. Yet a hint of rue will lurk if it's the right decision unless imprinted to the neck, where Seth reminded himself not to smooch.

Now in bed beside Cody, whose back turned in a slumber. Seth's gaze settled again with a frown. Weeks, months, years, had to accept forever throughout his lifetime, not a simple thing can vanish and solve quick problems. He wished it was so he wouldn't stare back and forth.

"Still staring?"

The gentle, sleepy voice sent shivers down his spine. He was supposed to sleep, must've triggered his consciousness. Hoping he was trapped in a fantasy, Seth peeked over Cody's shoulder; those blue eyes twinkled with amusement locked with his. That stupid smile never faltered.

Rolled to the side, met face to face. Affection blossomed between them. Cody's fingers fondle with Seth's hair, tucking one of the strands behind his ear. "I know what you're looking at," Cody said.

Seth feigned shock at the statement. "What are you talking about? I was admiring how pretty you are."

"Oh?" Cody's brows rose with curiosity. "What do you admire?"

"Simple. Your hair, your eyes that'll make me think two times great, your arms—" Seth paused, thoughtful for an instant, then continuing— "and that tattoo makes it two times worse. My god, what the hell were you thinking?!"

Cody snickered. "Really? Having a long-term feud against my tattoo? That's… that's unexpected."

"Unexpected?!" Seth's mouth dropped, using his elbows to sit up. "Having that big-sized tattoo where it should've gotten smaller! But no, every sentence has a 'trust me' and goes wrong at the end. Am I wrong?"

Stammering nonsense, words stuck in Cody's throat being voiceless. With a smug smirk, Seth knew he won the quick "argument" when Cody emitted a defeated sigh.

"Kinda, I guess," Cody responded.

Shook his head in denial, Seth refused to take a no for an answer. "Wrong answer. Say yes."

"Are you serious?"

"Say it."

"You're not going to make me."

What a tough guy to break. Seth leaned down, forehead pressed against his, a hand grasped the back of Cody's head. Breath mingled, their lips near as personal space broke between them. Didn't mention he was on the verge of smooching while assured not to.

"Admit right now or you won't get your favorite surprise," Seth murmured. "Don't want anything to go to dust, do we?"

Before Cody could respond, Seth's finger was placed on his lips, hushing the talk.

"Say yes, maybe we'll kiss."

Desperate to see forfeit, to hear forfeit in front of him. Seth's charm is unavoidable, a hard difficulty escaping the temptation. Harmless for Seth himself. Why fun even if he does create like a game of chess? Might've loved seeing behind the walls of Cody, his true self.

"Fine, fine, yes," he confessed. "It's too big, I got overconfident, and I should've listened to you. Happy now?"

"See? That wasn't so hard." Seth teased, grateful to hear what he wanted. Settled atop Cody's body, fingertips grazed to his cheek, the warmth tingled in his skin. "Anything else you want to say?"

"Actually," Cody pondered, "I do."

Seth's head jerked up, halting his actions.

"Even though the tattoo on my neck stays for the rest of my life, you're irreplaceable. No one and I mean no one, will ever force me to break away from you." Cody looked into Seth's eyes filled with honesty. "I mean it. Not joking."

Seth's heart swelled with awestruck by the compassionate care. No lie surfaced or any mischievous traces. Poetic some say including himself, while it'll find ways to sweep off feet from the ground onto cloud nine in different love languages. Some of their moments were mistakes, though they never left the beauty of success.

He captured Cody's lips. Tender yet quick, Cody's eyes blazed with bewilderment, then joy, shutting his eyes. Their chests pressed together, hearts palpitating into one as their bodies buzzed in excitement until Seth pulled away. Both open their eyes, exchanging grins.

An idea came to mind. Seth's grin grew wider.

"Come on, turn over. Need to kiss your neck." He told him, turning Cody over to the side. His face buried, nuzzling where the ink stamped on the curve of Cody's neck is placed.

"But you said you don't like it," Cody recalled.

Seth rolled his eyes with a small snicker. "For purposes only. I still hate it."

His lips caressed, showering delicate kisses as received a relaxed sigh. Supposed to give love to Cody, instead, the tattoo is given the same treatment. It would've been funny if Seth did or didn't.

Either way, he never threw away his heart for Cody.

Thank you for reading!

Tagging: @harmshake @afterdarkprincess @wrestlingprincess80 @double-vandammage

Taglist for codyseth/sethcody shippers those who wanted to be tagged for my future fics of codyseth-> here

[tinytinyblogs]

Bang Chan As Your Boyfriend

Boyfriend

(n.) A person who 90% of the time annoy you, and 10% of the time makes you forget the 90%

Stray kids masterlist here

Boyfriend Bang Chan is actually very sweet and caring. He is always there for you, listening to all your problems and giving you advice if you need it. He is the perfect boyfriend you could ever ask for. Let's just say you are really lucky to have him in your life. He is kind, compassionate, and always puts you first. He will make you feel loved and appreciated, and he will always be there for you, no matter what. Trust me, he feels the same way about you. He loves you more than anything in the world, and he would do anything for you. He is your soulmate, and you are meant to be together.

He takes care of you really well, just like he takes care of the members. Even if he really likes a food, he will let you have it if you want it. He will pretend that he doesn't like it, just because he wants you to be happy. He knows that you enjoy the food, and he wants you to have the best.

He is very soft around you. He needs you beside him, and he wants to stay really close. He will hold your hand or cuddle with you, because he wants your attention for 24/7. Good luck with this giant baby. He is a loving and affectionate boyfriend, but he can be a bit clingy. He will always need you to be there for him, and he will always want your attention.

You are his muse. He finds inspiration in you, and he writes love songs about you. He is constantly thinking about you, and he can't help but express his love for you through his music. When he is stressed out, he just needs you by his side. He doesn't need rest, he just needs you to hold him and tell him everything is going to be okay. Your presence is calming and reassuring, and it helps him to clear his head.

His smile and laugh will paint your day. When he is around you, he is more than happy. He is always smiling and laughing, and he makes you feel like you are the only person in the world. He will always say, "You make me really happy, how can I live without you?" It's cheesy, but it's what's on his heart. He loves you more than anything in the world, and he can't imagine his life without you.

You wouldn't want to see Chan upset or angry. Even though he might not say much, his body language will be very intimidating. He might clench his fists, or his eyes might narrow. He might even seem to be taller than he actually is. But don't worry, he will never hurt you. He is a kind and gentle person, and he would never intentionally hurt anyone. If he is upset or angry, it is because he is feeling hurt or threatened. The best thing to do is to give him some space. Let him calm down and collect his thoughts. When he is ready to talk, he will come to you and explain what happened.

There will be times when Chan will be jealous. It is because he feels insecure, and he is afraid of losing you. When this happens, it is important to be patient and understanding. Tell him that he is perfect. Remind him of all the things you love about him, and why you are so lucky to have him in your life. Tell him that he shouldn't be afraid, because you are committed to him and you will never leave him.

And last, he loves to take you on dates. He will plan romantic dinners, or other special occasions for the two of you. He also loves to give you presents, because he wants you to know how much he loves you. He will be the kind of boyfriend who shows up at your doorstep with a flower in his hand. He is a romantic at heart, and he loves to show you how much he cares. He will always go the extra mile to make you happy, and he will never take you for granted.

Hi, it's been a while since I posted anything and I really think I need to rewrite everything. Therefore, the entire master list story will soon be reupload!

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

I WANTED TO

pairings: Ajax Petropolus x Fem!reader summary: during the Raven' dance, Ajax can't help but get jealous seeing you with a date that's not him. warnings: Ajax being upset and frustrated

"are you sure?" Kent asked nervously

"yes, come on we both want people to be jealous, it help us both!" you pleaded

"why do you want to make him jealous again? I thought you too were just friends?" He questioned

you had come up with the brilliant idea to ask Kent to the Raven to make Ajax jealous, as much as you two were just friends, you were waiting for him to ask you. but he never did.

"will you just go with me..please?" you begged

"I already said yes" he laughed

"great, I'll see you there" you smiled at him. Kent was your friend. not a very close one, but you talked pretty regularly in class

you walked away from him and found your friends, where Ajax looked at you weirdly as you approached

Enid whistled as you sat down at the table "what was that about?" she wiggled her eyebrows

"nothing really" you shook your head "when are we going shopping for dresses?"

"he asked you to the Raven?!" she cheered

"I asked him" you corrected

Enid and Yoko smiled widely

"Ajax, do you have a date?" Xavier hit his arm, getting the gorgon's attention

"huh? no no, not yet" Ajax coughed, looking away from you

"but the dance is so soon! why did you wait so long?" Enid booed

"I don't know" he shrugged

--

"so do you like Kent?" Yoko asked

"only as a friend" you replied

"so why're you going to the dance with him?" Enid tilted her head, looking through the racks of dresses

"dates don't have to be romantic, we're going as friends" you pushed dresses away to see others

"so why wouldn't you go with Ajax? you both are like best friends and you both didn't have a date before now?" Enid questioned

"it's different" you brushed the question off

"how?" she raised an eyebrow

"I don't know, It just is" you said simply

she dropped the topic obliviously and continued looking for a dress to wear.

--

"do you want to dance?" Kent asked you as you sipped on your drink

"sure, why not?" you smiled at him

he lead you to the dancefloor, where people crowded to dance with their partners.

"where is she?" Kent looked around as he moved to the music

"over there, she's looking our way" you subtly pointed her out

"great, and where's your man?" he smirked

"I actually don't know" you shrugged your shoulders, still dancing

"Y/n?" someone said behind you

you turned around and saw Enid

"hey!" you beamed

"do you know why Ajax seems so off?" she looked over her to the side

"no, what's wrong?"

"his date seems bored out of her mind and he seems both mad and upset" she wondered

you finally spotted your best friend in the crowd, seeing him and his date sat down at a table. his date looking down at her phone looking annoyed and him, staring off into space, fiddling with his fingers while running his tongue along the inside of his cheek.

you hummed before turning back to Enid "I have no idea"

she sighed before hugging you.

"I have to get back to my date, have fun!" she giggled, going off into the bunch of people

you turned around to see Kent not there, you looked around before seeing him talking to the girl. he looked back at you, checking up to see if you were ok. you grinned before giving his a happy thumbs up. he nodded his head and turned back. having a conversation with her.

throughout the rest of the dance, you danced with Yoko, Bianca and Enid as her date went off somewhere.

you were all having a great time until you were all covered in blood.

people were screaming and running around, getting out of the room. the ground became slippery and you fell down as someone ran past you. you winced in a little bit of pain before someone was helping you up, you couldn't fully see due to hair stuck in your face, but you could make out who it was.

"you alright?" they asked Ajax asked, holding onto you as he pulled you up

"I'm fine" you muttered

he lead you out of the room, to the quad, sitting you on the edge of the fountain.

he sat down beside you, taking a deep breath. he brushed some of the hair out of your face and smiled softly as you looked at him.

"you ok?"

you nodded your head, wrapping your arms around yourself, creating some sort of warmth

"that's a really nice dress" he commented, looking down at it

"it was. you didn't see it was it wasn't red" you shivered.

you were clueless to Ajax staring at you throughout the whole dance. wishing you were sat down next to him or dancing with him. but you weren't.

"let's get you back to your dorm" he suggested, holding out a hand as he stood up to guide you. you slowly held his hand and let him lead you to your room as if you didn't know where is was.

you got to your door and you got your key from your purse. opening the door and standing there in silence before clearing your throat

"you didn't look to happy tonight, why weren't you having fun?" you pouted

"I wasn't not happy, I just wasn't thrilled" he shrugged

"why?" you quizzed

"Because I wish I went with somebody else and not wait to the last second" he admitted

"you didn't want to go with her?" you tilted your head, confused.

"not exactly, no" he shook his head anxiously "I hardly even remember her name"

"who did you want to go with then?" you chuckled

"you" he sighed nervously, scratching the back of neck below his beanie

"so why didn't you ask?" you whispered

"I wanted to, trust me, I really wanted to, I told myself I was going to every time I saw you but I chickened out every time. When you told everyone who had a date, I knew I was too late and was too embarrassed to go alone so just asked a girl who posted saying she didn't have a date" he explained

"you should have asked me" you stated "it's not like I would have said no, we're friends"

"exactly, I was wanting to ask you to be my more-than-a-friend type date but I knew you would have said no and I didn't want to settle for just a friend" he groaned

"I would have said yes. I only asked Kent to get at you for not asking me, and he had a girl to make jealous too so it seemed perfect" you laughed

"so you couldn't of just waited for me to ask you? I was going to ask you at one point one way or another and you ruined it by trying to make me jealous?" he questioned frustratedly

"did you expect me to wait forever? I wasn't going to wait for you to ask me at the last possible second. I didn't even know if you were going to ask me or not so I asked Kent" you barked

"you could of just gone into my head" he threw his hands up

"you know I don't like using my telepathy on my friends" you hissed

"I wouldn't of minded if it meant I could've gone with you" he scoffed

"why are you mad at me?" you asked mumbled

"I'm not mad, I just-" he paused, taking a deep breath. leaning against the frame of your door, resting a hand above his hands "I'm frustrated is all- at myself"

"why?" you said cluelessly

"cause I didn't ask you soon enough!" he yelled, getting upset

"it's fine, Ajax. It doesn't matter. It's one dance" you tried comforting him seeing his state

"it's not fine! I was going to ask you and- and I was going to tell you how I feel about you" his voice cracked as he spoke

"you can still tell me, Ajax" you smiled softly

he sighed before looking down. he was standing away from the frame of the door now. leaning away from you as he spoke

"No, I can't" he whispered, rubbing his face

your smile slightly faded away "why not?"

"I don't know" he groaned

"well I like you. I don't know why you would think I wouldn't. I know it wasn't the best idea, I just thought it would be better to go with somebody then wait to see if you would ask me or not" you admitted

"I really like you, Ajax" you finished

"good because I really like you too" he smiled at you

you accidentally focused into his head, reading his thoughts

hearing what he wanted, you leaned forward.

you placed a kiss on his lips.

"goodnight, Ajax" you smiled, going to shut your door

"wait" he stopped the door from closing, he stepped forward and pulled you closer to him, kissing you desperately until you both needed to breath.

Ajax smiled in satisfaction

"goodnight" he said before leaving.

------------------------------------------------

[olderthannetfic]

I don't know how true it really is, but there was a thread on bluesky a few weeks ago talking about how zines have started to be run by antis and it seems to be a place they congregate. Which, I guess makes sense, it seems like there's constant drama about something a zine won't let in. I didn't think much of it until the other night a friend of mine was upset that there was some kind of drama with a zine they were applying to because the zine didn't want nsfw content. Something clicked with me at that, and I remembered that thread. It was a light bulb moment of OH. YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE IF IT'S BEING RUN BY ANTIS. I didn't know how to EXPLAIN this to the friend because I didn't wanna have to explain what an anti is, but I was like YOU MAYBE DON'T WANNA GO THERE. (Perpetually bewildered by some of these fandoms that end up with antis in them given their canon content but that's another problem)

--

I don't think antis are running zines as a secret plot.

A lot of antis are young and at an age and phase of fandom where they have a lot of energy. A lot of them also like clout and attention, which you can get from running a popular zine. Naturally, they're going to be the most visible zine-makers in a certain space.

If you go find the DIY people coming from music zines or the few oldschool Media Fandom people still publishing, you'll find a different landscape.

[daisyblog]

Capital FM Interview

Our Story Masterlist Summary: Harry talks about his new music and opened up about some of his other massive projects for 2022; movies My Policeman and Don’t Worry Darling…and of course YN.

"Please welcome to the show Harry Styles" Roman announced, after explaining he was wearing a dressing gown on the show today because Harry wore a purple one during his last interview on Capital FM.

Harry and YN have just flown into America for Harry to prepare for his Coachella shows later in the week, so Harry was doing the interview over a Zoom call.

"Duh duh duh duh...duh duh duh...duh duh duh duh..duh duh duh" Harry begins to chant, waving his arms in the air, through the screen, wearing a white t-shirt and his earphones dangling from his ears. The presenters joined in with his chant.

"Mate It's been ages how are you?" Roman asks.

Harry gives the biggest grin "I'm very well thanks..yeah..I'm very well..I-its uh..thank you very much for the dressing gown reference"

"No it's okay..well..well..I mean I was upset that you didn't turn up in a dressing gown on my screen but I'm sure everyone in the world would be upset if you didn't turn up in a dressing gown-"

Harry interrupted Roman "I can run and get one"

"Just do it" Roman encouraged, but Chris the other radio presenter explained they haven't got enough time, so Harry pulls his t-shirt over his head slightly to pretend he was wearing one, causing the presenters to laugh.

Roman continued the interview "You're back..you got your brand new song As It Was..so many people absolutely love it..we love it in here..the video is super cool as well-"

"Thank you so much" Harry politely said, as he played with a piece of his hair.

"There is obviously...the best thing about this is that people have waited so long to hear your voice once again...on a brand new song but it's not your voice that we hear first..isn't that right?" Roman questioned, still wearing his dressing gown and headphones placed over his hood.

"It is yeah...it's the voice of YN's little sister-" Harry began to explain before Roman and Sian is heard 'awwing' at his confession.

"Her and YN's little brother used to try and call us before bedtime every night so..uh..one time I don't know..YN's phone didn't ring or something..so they phoned mine but I missed it and she sent me that and I kind of dug it out at some point while we were in the studio..and put it in front of the song for some reason and I kind of just fell in love with it so..it stuck" Harry explained how Doris and Ernest would phone their oldest sister and Harry each night to say goodnight to them.

"It is really nice but I do think that..that does mean she's officially a recording artist now-" Roman spoke.

"True" Sian agreed, interrupting her colleague "She get's a percentage"

"Yeh..she's a recording artist..you've got to share a grammy with her" Roman continued to explain his opinion.

Scratching the back of his head, Harry joked "Oh yeah..she was asking..she was asking for a big fee" causing Roman and Sian to roar with laughter at his sarcastic comment.

"What did Louis think..you know was he annoyed that you'd thought of the idea first of using his sister's voice in a song?" Chris continued to ask questions.

Harry thought before answering "Uh..no I don't think so..I think he was proud to be 'onest"

"We are loving this..it's the lead single from your upcoming album Harry's House..the artwork is you in like an upside-down room..all the furniture's glued to the ceiling..now I don't imagine this is exactly how your house looks but do you have anything weird and wonderful in your house like that-"

"I'd say at the moment it's kind of just..uh..piles of things which we're kind of sorting through-"

"What have you just moved?" Sian asked the singer.

"No we haven't-" Harry smiled shyly.

"You've just got piles of things" Chris laughed along with Harry.

"I'm trying to kind of empty out a little bit and kind of clear..uh..the space that I'm living in a little bit..get a little bit clearer" Harry explained.

"Are you a messy person then..is this the problem?" Sian questioned.

"I don't think I am..but YN would probably disagree" Harry laughed "That's why there are so many piles of things..because she'll be like c'mon let's have a clear out and then literally pile my stuff up..and uh..I don't always get the chance to sort through it..so yes and no"

"Oh she's one of them..a big clean and clear out" Sian commented.

Chris began to ask Harry about his home, location and accent "Speaking of..uh..homes..you're not actually at home at the moment you're in..you're in America..um..but we've seen some pretty wild accents from the 1D boys recently and specifically from um..Mr Liam Payne on the Oscars red carpet..um now I've got to ask you have you sort of started to get like a transatlantic accent from America at all?"

"Well I don't think in the time that I just got here 'cause we only got in yesterday for uh Coachella rehearsals..so uh..in the space I've been here this trip I think I've survived..I think it's a little bit all over the place" Harry began to explain his accent "I'm from up North and I've lived in London for ten years and I've spent a lot of time in America and stuff so..I think uh..I think when I'm with Americans they don't think I sound American at all and then I think sometimes when I'm with English people they expect me to sound American..I don't think I do but maybe I you know pick up some..a couple of bits along the way but I-" Harry let out a chuckle before continuing 'I have to translate for people sometimes..because they don't have a clue what YN is saying and it's so funny" Harry continued to laugh.

"Yeah she definitely hasn't lost her accent has she?" Roman joined in on the joke.

"No and I think it's more noticeable when we're in America" Harry continued to explain his girlfriends accent.

"You've been working so hard recently yeah...and we said you know-" Roman began before Harry interrupted.

"Thank you Roman"

"No I appreciate it mate I do appreciate it...um but look it's been a while since we last spoke to you and...the movie thing we've got to talk about that because I don't know whether to call you an artist..I don't know whether to call you an actor..what would you call yourself?..Are you an artist first or are you an actor?" Roman questioned Harry.

"I mean I think I'm a musician first" Harry explained before adding how lucky he felt to be able to do the jobs he loves and how grateful he is to be able to explore acting. Harry then went on to say how he was able to step out of his comfort zone with acting.

Roman continued with his questioning "Yeah and talking about comfort zones as well because I need you to..uh..sort something for me right because obviously I'm gonna go see both you're films that you've been doing recently..so you've got Don't Worry Darling and..uh..My Policeman..my question Harry what is the film that I can safely watch with my parents...because I've heard that it is getting racy"

"I don't know if you can watch either with your parents" Harry confessed, making the three presenters gasp with a 'what'. Harry made a joke saying he's going to have to do another film that Roman would be able to watch his mother. "Do you want to know something funny...well It's not funny for me but you'll find it funny"

"Of course mate" Roman eagerly nodded.

"YN said to me the other day" Harry let out a little chuckle before continuing "Shall we host..like uh..um..movie night with our families to watch the two films" Harry along with the presenters roared with laughter at YN's idea "I was like no..no let's not do that"

Sian still laughing spoke "That's absolutely brilliant"

"Hey maybe me and Shirley could join..it won't be so awkward for me then" Roman joked before thanking Harry for joining them all today.

Tag List: (let me know if you would like to be added) @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats @harrysbbyh0ney fanfictioncafe lilfreakjez jerseygirlinca iamahallucinationnn @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @indierockgirrl hittiesontour

[bambi-kinos]

There is something I noticed in this fandom, that's been bothering me for a while and I'd like to hear your opinion as well.

It seems like there is a tendency to gloss over John's streaks of aggression, violence and the obsession with sex. That post about anon asking if John was demisexual especially reminded me of that.

A lot of times I see untruth perpetuated that John only slapped Cynthia once and was so regretful of it, when there are so many accounts of him being violent with other women: hitting Thelma Pickles when she denied him sex, hitting a woman at Paul's birthday party after he grabbed her tit (same party where he hit Wooler), strangling May almost to death.

I think at the core people are trying to re-write John into someone he wasn't, and that's unfair to him and for the other people around him. He did make amends and become a better man, but that was way after Beatles ended. But at the core, John was aggressive and violent, just because he had soft side to him doesn't make him soft. He also knew how to manipulate people really well.

Also, I think his violence/agression is what actually attracted Paul to him because Paul liked danger. He liked when John behaved as a total prick, which made Paul pretty fucked up as well. But that's personally why I like their dynamic so much.

First of all, expecting demi-sexual John anon to take a pitstop in the middle of their fantheory, look at the camera, and say "did you know that John Lennon beat his wife?" like that dude from The Onion is not great.

Secondly, centering John Lennon's abuse of the women he came into contact with is doing a disservice to them. Cynthia, May, and Yoko are more than John's victims and they all have made it clear how they want their relationships with John to be remembered. They have their reasons for loving him and they communicated those. It's not asking much to respect that. They are all more than that and they should be remembered for other things besides "being John Lennon's victim."

Third, fans want to hang out in fan spaces doing fan stuff. Whether that's discussing musical technique or quoting a book or looking at song lyrics. Are we supposed to put legal clauses at the end of our posts and chat messages saying that we don't support John's DV and do not endorse blah blah blah blah blah?

Fourth, it's not an "untruth" that John regretted hitting Cynthia (and he did much worse than hit her, he grabbed her by her skull and slammed her headfirst into a set of exposed pipes) just because he kept being violent afterwards. This is the same guy that cried in public after he beat the shit out of Bob Wooler and kept saying "what have I done" because he thought he had killed someone. Smokers regret being addicted, that doesn't mean it's easy for them to quit smoking right on the spot.

John actively admitting what a massive fuck up he was is pretty much his only saving grace but it's also really important that he said that. Because wifebeaters don't typically do that, they just screech and shit and wail about how "it's my RIGHT as a MAN REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" and refuse to accept blame for what they did. The fact that John did accept that blame says a lot about who he was as a person.

Fifth, fans aren't trying to "rewrite" John, we're trying to fit together the pieces of a complicated man who hurt a lot of people but also helped a lot of people.

And the thing is, I get it, I GET IT. I've seen insane shit go down before! I've seen people giggle and laugh about John beating women! I've seen fans say that John's violence is overblown and that fans are taking it too seriously, and every other horrible thing you can think of. All of this, and more, is present in Beatles fandom. So I get it! I understand that it's upsetting sometimes. I don't like it either. I piss on people who do that. I am still angry about that.

But how many fans are doing vs how many fans just aren't talking about the stuff you think is important?

We can fully acknowledge that John did many awful things and treat it seriously. We are also adults capable of nuance which means we can acknowledge and appreciate that softer side of him and be a fan of his art and public personality.

What else are we supposed to do. Genuinely.

(Thanks to @the-world-is-treating-me-bad for talking this out with me last week.)

[brynnwrites]

red tank top - emily prentiss

warnings: suggestive content, nothing explicit

You couldn't keep your eyes off her if you tried. And you were trying. Hard.

It's not like you could help it. The snug red tank top might as well have been the tempting fruit from the garden of Eden. Apple red and oh so sinful.

"Eyes up here," Emily's musical voice teased with a joking smile.

You jolted, your eyes jerking to meet hers. Your cheeks flamed, like a teenager who had been caught looking at a magazine they shouldn't have.

"I'm just teasing," she knocked your shoulder gently, prodding a stilted laugh from you. Her lips turned down into a frown. "You okay?"

"Huh, me?" You chirped, fiddling with the rings on your fingers. "Yeah. I-I'm fine."

"Okay," she chuckled lightly, wrapping an arm around you. "Why don't we head back to the hotel for a drink, yeah? Celebrate another success."

You just smiled and nodded, allowing her to toe you back to the SUVs. The other team members followed suit, murmuring in agreement about drinks. It had been a tough case—you all definitely deserved to celebrate the lives saved.

You were squished between Morgan and Emily in the backseat. Your face still felt hot, especially given the proximity to your very attractive best friend. You watched her delicate fingers tighten their grip on the handle above the window as the vehicle hit a bump, and you felt your whole body tense up.

"Right, Y/N?" Morgan asked, giving your shoulder a bump.

"Huh?" You definitely had not heard what he was talking about.

"Okay, what's wrong?" Emily chuckled, but she sounded worried. "You've been jumpy and spaced out since we caught the guy earlier. Is something bothering you?"

Her eyes were wide with concern and one of her hands moved to grip your knee. She thought you might have been upset from the case. She had no idea.

You gulped. "No, no, I'm fine, I promise. Just a little tired is all."

She nodded understandingly. "Maybe you should skip drinks and go to bed then. It's been a long week. I might join you myself."

The thought of heading up to bed with Emily while the rest of the team had drinks in the hotel bar made your heart quicken. "Oh, I wouldn't want to miss out on the party."

"I don't think there will be a party tonight," Morgan snorted. "Rossi's already asleep in the passenger seat. Go on and rest, I'm sure most of us will head that way sooner than later."

The SUV stopped in front of the hotel and Emily pulled you by the hand. "Come on, sleepy thing."

She didn't allow you to protest, on a mission to get you the rest you pretended to need. There was no way you could back out now and admit that you weren't that sleepy at all.

"If you're really intent on drinking tonight," Emily spoke as she opened the door to your shared hotel room, "we can order a bottle of wine up and watch a movie."

"Yeah, sure," you spoke absentmindedly, watching the material of her tank top shift as she reached up to take off her earrings.

You knew you had to get a grip on yourself. It was just a piece of clothing. On a person that you had immense feelings for.

She eyed you suspiciously as you marched over to your go bag, digging around for your pajamas. "Okay, seriously. What is up with you?"

You shrugged, not looking at her as you fished out the rest of your toiletries. "I'm fine, Em."

You could tell she didn't believe you for a second, being the damn good profiler that she was. You didn't give her time to push the subject, scampering toward the bathroom. "I'm gonna shower. Go ahead and order wine up and pick a movie."

You shut the door behind you and locked it, taking a deep breath. You muttered to yourself about pulling yourself together. Usually you were good about keeping your feelings for Emily hidden deep down but today—that God forsaken red tank top—had you struggling.

You showered off the grime of the day. It had been a hot one on the west coast of California, and the takedown was grueling. It felt like you were putting on new skin as you washed your body, melting into the warm shower spray.

You wrung your hair out as you stepped into fresh underwear and your silky pajamas. You gave yourself a silent pep talk in the mirror with a steeling deep breath before walking out into the room.

Your breathing stuttered, seeing Emily had kept the tank top on, opting only to change into a pair of sleep shorts. She was sat atop your bed, reclining against the headboard with her legs crossed, a red bottle and two glasses next to her.

"Come on," she patted the empty side of the bed, remote in hand. "I found your favorite—Mean Girls."

You snorted a laugh. She knew that even though the movie wasn't technically your favorite, it always cheered you up.

You eased onto the bed next to her, watching intently as she poured some wine into your glass and handed to you. She filled her own and she clinked it against yours.

"To another successful case," she toasted.

"Hear, hear!" You cheered, taking a sip at the same time.

You sat in comfortable silence as you watched the opening of the movie, when suddenly Emily cleared her throat.

"So," she spoke slowly, "are you ever gonna tell me what's going on with you today?"

You groaned, swallowing the mouthful of the drink you had and setting your glass on the nightstand. "Emily, I told you—"

"You're fine, I know. I call bullshit," she chuckled, nudging your leg with a painted toe. "I know it's not just because you're tired. You've barely been able to look at me or talk to me most of the day. Have I done something wrong?"

Your eyes widened. "No!" It came out louder than you meant to and lowered your voice. "No, Em, you haven't done anything wrong. It's just...me?"

She looked even more confused. "What do you mean?"

You groaned, leaning your head back against the headboard with your eyes closed. "Forget it, really. It's nothing."

She huffed, turning to face you with her legs tucked up beneath her. "It's not nothing. Obviously something is bothering you and you're not telling me what it is. I'm your best friend, you can tell me anything."

"That's the problem!" You said, frustrated. Before you could think, words came tumbling out. "You're my best friend. I can't tell you what it is because..."

"Because what?" She asked, inching closer. She was like a dog with a bone now, not going to rest until she got the truth from you.

"Because I'm not supposed to feel like this about my best friend," you mumbled, eyes squeezed shut still, bringing a hand up to cover them for good measure. You didn't want to see her face at your admission.

Her words came out low and reverent. "Feel like what?"

You brought your other hand up to scrub down your face with a frustrated sound. "You know what I'm saying, Em. Don't make it more embarrassing than it is."

"No, I really don't know," she said, placing a hand on your knee. "I need you to say it."

The air in the room turned thick and electric in a matter of seconds. You inhale sharply, still not daring to look at her as you turn your gaze to the ceiling.

"That damn red tank top," you mumble, as both a curse and a prayer.

She laughs disbelievingly, looking down and pulling at the neckline. "This old thing? That's what's got you all worked up?"

You groan in both frustration and eternal embarrassment. "No—I mean, yeah—but like, it's just you all the time and..."

Your hands have come back up to cover your face amidst your rambling, wanting nothing more than to sink down into the mattress and let it swallow you whole.

Soft hands wrap around your wrists and gently tug at them. "Look at me, pretty girl."

Your entire body flushes at her raspy tone, not to mention the nickname. You'd heard her call Spencer "Pretty Boy" in jest but this—this was different.

You reluctantly let her drag your hands away from your face as you cracked an eye to look at her. Her loose curls framed her face so perfectly, her rosy red bottom lip tucked up between her teeth. Those dark eyes that could easily intimidate serial killers were soft and full of sweet emotion, bracketed by dark, thick lashes. Not to mention her strong jaw and perfectly pointed nose—if Emily Prentiss was anything, she was stunning.

"Hi," you whispered, because what else could you say? With her hands still gently circling your wrists and her eyes piercing your gaze, you had very little cognitive function left.

Her hands released your wrists to cup your cheeks. She smiled softly, "Hi. How long have you been feeling this way?"

You swallowed thickly. "Realized it a few months ago, but I think since I met you."

Her smile widens as she brushes her thumbs over the apples of your cheeks. "And to think I was the only one."

"Huh?" You were confused. There was no way she...

"I've wanted you since the moment you walked into the BAU," she admitted, leaning in closer, your foreheads almost touching. "I just never thought it would be mutual."

You let out a long breath, feeling as though you could finally breath easy knowing she felt the same way. Her eyes flickered between your stunned gaze and your parted lips.

Your voice came out high and strained. "Kiss me, Em?"

"With pleasure," she smirked, closing the minuscule gap between your lips.

Your body instantly lit up, like a million little lights on a Christmas tree. A knot formed in your stomach as she licked into your mouth tentatively, moving so she was nearly straddling you. Your hands nervously slid over her hips to clutch at her waist, pulling her in.

Your lips separated for a moment, and your eyes fluttered open to see hers shiny and red, yours no doubt the same. Her gaze was heavy, her chest heaving. It took every inch of willpower not to paw at the red material covering the slopes of her chest.

"Eyes up here," she teased with a smirk, echoing her words from earlier.

"Ha-ha-ha," you huffed out a sarcastic laugh, "so funny."

She moved so she was fully straddling your lap, one hand cupping the back of your neck and the other tucking a stray hair behind your ear. You sucked in a sharp breath.

"I don't think there's anything funny about what we're about to do, pretty girl."

Her smile was wicked and you knew you were done for.

[bonesandthebees]

I'm not sure if any of this is as important to say as I feel like it is, but just in case, here it is.

Idk about you, but I'm really tired of having things taken from me because the cc's were abusive. I say this with an emphasis on the fact that supporting their victims and condemning their actions is far more important, that I'm not giving that man a single cent anymore. The most important thing the community can do is support the people he hurt. But It's still gonna hurt to purge my playlist because we, as a community, were lied to. And something I derived comfort from, especially in the wake of recent personal events, has been taken from me. Not by the community or by the people coming out; by him and his actions.

So seriously thank you for creating a space for people to talk about what's going on, because it's so easy to feel guilty right now for having feelings about this situation. Especially as a neurodivergent person whose main comfort is music, including music (and YouTube videos) he made.

I just feel like it's important to put this out there. The community as a whole needs to support the victims, but it's also okay to feel betrayed and it's okay to look at his songs in your playlist, dreading deleting them, for a while. No one will hate you for that. You're not a bad person for that. They're just songs or videos, but they're content that mattered to some of us. How dare he ruin that for all of us. How dare he.

Now that I've written a whole entire novel, please take care of yourself. I know I'm an internet stranger but I almost didn't write this because I think that it's important to emphasize that while I'm glad to see Tumblr users creating a space to talk for those of us who don't post and such, I also think it's way more important that your blog be a safe space for you yourself.

- a rambly anon 🪐

yeah, trust me, I'm fucking sick of this too. you're not selfish for feeling upset about deleting his songs from your playlist or not being able to watch vods of his for comfort anymore. you are not a bad person for having an attachment to someone who lied to his audience about who he was. you are human. you are allowed to be upset.

also, to veer slightly from your point but to bring something else up, while I know there are varying opinions on the community in this I personally don't think I want to let this make me stop hoping for people to be good. yes, it might seem like an endless pattern of people you like being revealed to be assholes. and for some people, they might want to leave the community to avoid that disappointment again. for me, I'm not going to put cc's up on a pedestal and expect them to be great people, but I'm not going to expect the worst from them either. keep my expectations realistic, but not pessimistic. content creators are flawed human beings like the rest of us, and sometimes they can be really shitty people, but sometimes they can be good people too. and I'm always going to hope for the latter.

and thank you for thinking of me. honestly the reason I've slowed down answering asks the past few days is precisely because I've been trying to take care of myself. I've gone up and down in terms of how I'm doing, and when I'm not feeling up to it I don't touch my inbox.

and despite everything that's happened this morning, I've had a good day. I got myself a cinnamon roll. I'm drinking green tea and it's sunny out. I saw flowers blooming on the side of the road and it made me smile. focusing on the little things, you know?